#and no background in pain study
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Let's go questing, team!
#bug fables#bf kabbu#bf leif#bf vi#xylocope#MY FUCKIG WRISTS AUUUUUUUUUUGH#i kept going despite the pain and now it's 6 am and I'm wondering why i did that#heating pad save me.. save me heating pad#they're having a nice day out figuring what to do :)#originally i was going to do a background study and then i thought of kabbu and vi arguing at the quest board#and then it turned into this haha#enjoy!
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Ooh interesting. Now I'm trying to conceptualise the schmidt scores compared to pain scales.
They can't convert because 1-4 are somewhat objective (single subject, Schmidt) and only rank pain of insect stings. 1-10 pain scale is subjective and supposed to reflect individual experience, and includes everything. But that aside it seems interesting.
The worst pain I've experienced was a migraine I would rate at 9. I was largely incapacitated but I was able to speak enough to at least say "headache". I don't want to know what 10 is like.
I think 10 is sometimes described as "can do nothing except perhaps scream". It sounds like some of the Scmidt 4s could be a 9 or 10. I think Coyote Peterson was pretty much incapacitated by one, I think the tarantula hawk.
my toxic trait is having a complex about only being a 4 on the schmidt pain scale
#I'm not an expert#chemist by training#amateur arthropodologist only#and no background in pain study#so don't take anything I say as true
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WHAATT ??? SPOOKY MAKING ACTUAL ART AGAIN ??? thiz iz insane
★ version without text + image based on under cut :
★ song : "Goodbye to This Meaningless Everyday" – Dobu no Awa
#wowza thiz one waz kinda really super mega hard#the background waz a huge pain to make but im actually so proud of how it came out#i felt like i needed to unwind after today . especially cuz tomorrow will be a million timez more stressful . but instead i made thiz ://#ive had thiz song stuck in my head for a few dayz and wowza i needed to make smth based on it – just had to get it out of my system#also i finally drew colin again !!!! featuring some kind of important lore related stuff !!!!#young colin !!!! wow !!!! feast your eyez upon him !!!!#.....#oh who am i even kidding#nobody will care about thiz#nobody botherz with what i make anymore#why should i#itz clear that i have to give up on making mediocre art and instead focuz on getting a good job – i have no worth az a living being anyway#so might az well make myself useful ...#i have no redeeming qualities – everyone i know doezn't care for me and thatz ok#itz fine#i don't mind#some of us need to be the primary pick for natural selection anywayz#dhmis#dhmis art#dhmis au#high voltage au#dhmis colin#colin the computer#dhmis hv colin#bro itz literally midnight i should be sleeping#what am i doing with my life bro – a time such az thiz should be dedicated to studying . not for mucking around#im such a failure child#sigh
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So, since BB!Ivypool will use her newfound deputy status to force a confrontation with Dovewing- how would she react if Dovewing snaps and told her to her face that she never, EVER wanted to speak with her again after everything? Like, would it click for her that even if she deeply regrets the way she treated her sister, no matter how sorry she is its up to Dovewing if she's ever forgiven? Or does she blame Heartstar thinking she turned her sister against her?
Let's pop open the hood of BB!Ivypool and her fucked up little life, and every person she's been leading up to the end of BB!TBC.
All of this starts with her father, Lionblaze, raising her with this axiom; That you are given strength to serve your Clan.
While he used Dovepaw and her powers in service of ThunderClan (often fighting with her mentor, Birchfall), Lionblaze encouraged his daughter to involve herself in Dark Forest training. Ivypaw felt like this was how she "earned" affection from her Ba, with hard work.
Just as Lionblaze believed that his physical abuse at the paw of Ashfur made him stronger, Ivypool also came to believe that growing up thrown to the wolves made her stronger too.
So when Dovewing first started to... not even REJECT the idea, just display any resentment towards it at all, it's like a personal slight.
No one ever fucking listens to Dovewing. No one cares what she wants. Just what she can do for them.
And Ivypool was super part of that. Her mentor is Brightheart, who often overexerts herself as an expression of PTSD. She saw Hawkfrost "die" turning against Tigerstar for the greater good. She sees Bumblestripe "working so hard" to "help Dovewing adjust" while she's losing her hearing.
In her eyes, Dovewing was being selfish. Look at all these people who give EVERYTHING to their Clans-- how dare you try and make it about yourself?
Tigerheart, in and out of their life constantly, gets blamed because it's a lot easier to pin it all on the Evil Codebreaking Foreigner than admit that maybe Dovewing has a point. Ah HA! THERE is the villain responsible for making my sister act weird! I knew it all along!
(Plus Tigerheart and Ivypool got pitted against each other a LOT in DF training because Ivy was Hawkfrost's apprentice and Tigerheart was Tigerstar's, for some incredibly fucked up projection reasons you'd expect of Tunnelbunstar. Ivypool will nonsensically blame Tigerheart like she's a Dinkleberg.)
(Also tbf tigerheart would 100% let her believe it, 1. Because it's funny, and 2. Because it takes the heat off Dovewing)
And Ivypool was VICIOUS about this. AVoS is still getting shuffled but if anything vindictive she did towards Dove in that arc gets removed, I will replace it with something just as bad. She would actively sabotauge ShadowClan if it meant keeping Tigerheart away from Dovewing.
She can't handle the thought of losing Dovewing. At some point, it became about control. It's her insecurity towards herself, towards her family, towards all of her losses, and even towards service of her very Clan.
And then Dovewing booked it. Couldn't handle this shit and panicked and BAILED.
And THEN it's about getting Dovewing BACK. She's even dragged Fernsong into this and tried to leverage his friendship with Dovewing to this end. She'll even support Bumblestripe when he tries to argue for an invalidation of Queen’s Rights on technicality.
Ivypool: "Those kits are Bumblestripe's! He has a claim! They even have HIS MANE"
Heartstar: "Hmm. No, it is very clearly MY mane."
Ivypool: "You can't-- wait what?"
Heartstar: "Lightkit even has my beautiful smile <3 so fuck off, maybe?"
For a long time that's where Ivypool was. She was the awful, vindictive sister-in-law constantly trying to weasel in to make Dovewing feel bad. When she had kittens of her own, she was still in this mindset.
It didn't end well. In BB!TBC, Bristlefrost needed her. Ivypool stepped in to prevent her from being the impostor's pawn, but refused to do anything when she was caught and imprisoned for being in a HalfClan relationship. She needed to be punished as a codebreaker.
Brought to the next Gathering, the impostor reiterated the need to enforce the code, and desperate times calling for desperate measures. He called for SkyClan to punish their own warrior. They refused to make this a public spectacle.
So he sliced open her throat, right on the branch beside him.
Ivypool didn't imagine she would be KILLED. Suddenly her whole world shattered. The moon stayed clear and bright. Her daughter was dead before she hit the ground and she had HERSELF to blame.
Dovewing and Ivypool served in the rebellion together, and eventually Ivy went into the Dark Forest as a Light in the Mist. She watched Bristlefrost die, AGAIN, knocking Ashfur out of the sky and burning them both up in orbit, and how brave Shadowsight had been in pinning him in place.
Ivypool NEEDS Dovewing to know now that she's different. She's learned a lot. She understands so, so much more now...
But DOES she? She still hates Heartstar's guts. She still feels abandoned. How different ARE you now, Ivypool, with your renewed interest in finding some petty reason to skirt around Dovewing's direct wishes? When you're still here getting into blowout arguments with Heartstar?
So to answer the question, if Dovewing told her directly, "I WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR DESPERATION. IM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR FEELINGS. PISS OFF"
Ivypool would not be able to accept that.
It just wouldn't stick, ever. It really is desperation. Dovewing NEEDS to know that Ivypool loves her and misses her, and that she understands, but also that Heartstar is delusional, and this is still kind of Dovewing's fault. And Ivypool will do anything to make her know this.
But I also DO want to say; this is a very unique weakness. It is Dovewing Derangement Syndrome. Ivypool is a competent deputy, and she is a devoted and respected warrior of ThunderClan. It will be no surprise she's being picked for deputy, especially considering (god willing) Squirrelstar is seeking war with ShadowClan.
She is a good friend, mate, and leader. But BB!Ivypool is so, so fucked in the head about Dovewing. This family can fit so much trauma in it
#BB!Ivypool#Better bones au#BB!OOTS#bb!TBC#BB!Dovewing#BB!Heartstar#Ivy is both a victim and a perpetrator. I do have sympathy for her#Which I think is what really makes this so juicy#But your pain doesn't mean you get to have whatever you want#Or even whatever you think you need#I think it's hard to explain it because it's not logical AT ALL#It's a boiling soup of strong and desperate emotions that Ivy has not unpacked#And how can you even? SO much has happened to Ivy#So many awful and DIFFERENT things#I want to study her#For the record btw I am on Dovewing's side in this conflict tho lmaoooooooo#Dovewing I'm so sorry. It's extremely fun watching Ivypool try to break into your house to rearrange your fridge magnets to say 'TALK TO ME#You deserve better. But I cant look away.#Dovewing is trying so hard to become a background character it's hysterical#Girl you are in the Main Character Family (for bb at least) you are not allowed to have a peaceful life with your beautiful wife
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broo fuck me we've gotten to the condicional/imperfecto/pluscuamperfecto in nahuatl and i'm not even confident in them in spanish
#quil's unholy underworld#in the background of the lecture recordings see me frantically googling 'hey what tf is pluscuamperfecto again and when#do we use it?????'#up until now we've been entirely in like. present/past/future#the simple versions#uh ohhhh!!!! for me!!!!#i've never definitevely learned the others#now I have to learn them in a third language with that as my connector ough!!!#pain misery if only i'd bothered to study spanish the past. like 5 months I've been using it multiple times a week
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A freehand ink drawing I made during D&D! Doodling helps me concentrate ^^
#by freehand I mean there wasn’t an under sketch beyond composition mapping#of which I messed up anyways 😒#I love using ink liners but they really kill my hand.#im so thankful to my tablet for allowing me to draw mostly pain free but I MISS drawing on paper so much it’s unreal#I need to do some background studies I think!
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[Start ID. Two drawings of Hollow Knight OCs in the City of Tears. The first depicts Solper and Caramel, an owlfly and carpenter bee respectively, just before they duel in midair, from a vantage point behind Caramel's shoulder. They're a fair distance from the ground, which is composed of a scattering of large cobblestone islands, partially submerged by a dark sea. They both seem rather enthused, fighting for fun—Caramel has her mantis claw held out to the side and other fist raised, while Solper's sabre is poised beside his head, his other limbs akimbo. The entire drawing and particularly the background are indigo-toned, drenched and shining under perpetual rain.
The second shows Molini, Hawksbeard and Dandy, a millipede, grasshopper and a moth. Molini contentedly sits as the other two use her as a bench, circled around a fire as they've just finished boiling tea, the kettle is propped up on Dandy's nail and settled between two poles taken from Solper and Caramel's battleground. The background is dark enough to appear fully blank, though a handful of lumaflies and the light of a hidden central fire shine upon the three bugs. Hawksbeard is chatting, the others listen, all three holding cups from which pale steam rises in clouds. While the firelight is particularly bright, the tone of the drawing is warm, in both color and feeling. End ID]
March 30 was the first time I'd interacted with @hollypies (feat. their Dandy), and April 5th my earliest memory of @original-character-chaos (feat. his Solper). So I offer a two-weeks-late first-anniversary drawing to my mutuals :]
#peridots-art#hollow knight#bugs#hk ocs#caramel hk#solper hk#molini hk#hawksbeard hk#dandy hk#original-character-chaos#hollypies#peridots-ocs#others' ocs#that tag should've grammatically been others' ocs but okay. anyway on with the rambling#i have been working on these for THREE WEEKS but to be fair i was drowning in pain from a toothache that resulted in a root canal.#for like half of that time. and i work slowly anyway. so#with all the extra time I got this ended up being a good study in backgrounds and unfamiliar lighting and cohesivity though!!#not to stop anyone from noticing the giraffe weevil kettle but both that and the blanket hawks is sitting on are gifts from Caramel#while i've never been one to put many worldbuilding headcanons into anything i think willoh/the grimsteeds are from the same place as her#'gifts' is a bit inaccurate as it's communal between the trio but yknow. also i didn't show it here but the first two are definitely in#the bg of the second drawing somewhere just Conked Out. they just feel like the type who'd fight tirelessly and painfully just for funsies#it has been very hard not just blatantly telling both of the recipients here that Hey I'm Drawing You Something. but i enjoy surprises#anyway i know i had a lot to say here but i can't remember anything else so i think that sums it up. @ nox n holly: very sorry for#not planning ahead further but i can't believe it's been a year and you guys are awesome. so <333#edit: it is now others' not other's. fantastic. not sure if the two tagged here get notified when i edit the tags here but if they do see#i hope they have wonderful new years#peridots-described
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gosh, seeing people happily discussing about their OCs make me want to show my OCs too but then i realized i still have not make any "official" art of them and their background details are still being worked on
#just me rambling#tbh. my reborn ocs are the only one who ''fully'' fleshed out#Kayne original from Hoenn and their main purpose to go to Reborn was to study these new field effects#Neo (who i considering to change name because there are suprisingly many ocs has Neo name XD)-#was originally from Reborn but moved to Alola after the region got into chaos#then back to Reborn because the Aether president order him to look for rouge scientist that secretly works on Type:null#and then order him to stop the PULSE inventions#Evelyn is one of the orphanage from Sigmund place#she ran away before Lin did and joined team Meteor then leave the team after learning about what happened to Ace#rejuv OCs are like...different cans of worms#because rejuv lores are wild#all ocs are from different worlds that ''stumble'' into this one specific dimension#one OC is hinted to be Ariana who lost her memory because she felt into a Dimensional Rift when running away from the Nihilego#one is an high-ranking scientist of Garufa who got killed by Variya but their soul somehow ''get'' rescued by their Dusknoir and the pokemo#thought it would be safer to literally transfer its trainer soul to different universe#one is related to my other Reborn OC. who...has the most normal background compared to other rejuv ocs#there is also another rejuv oc that...has two versions of themselves#one is specifically made for renegade route and to be the pain in everyone ass
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Hmmmmmmmm I wanna draw and share other things on here that aren’t LMK related, and sometimes not fandom related in general, but my brain goes, “But that’s all you post! What about the lmk oc’s, au’s and stories and such you wanna share and do stuff with? Are you just going to forget about them?!” And it’s frustrating cause it’s my blog and I should be able to share what I want to share, and I’ve been wanting to check out and maybe get into other things like Cult of the Lamb, Hollow Knight, Slay the Princess, Trigun, Dungeon Meshi, I could go on, but my brain is mean to me
Sometimes I just need to remind myself that this is my blog, I can make and share whatever I wish despite what my brain tells me, I’m not chained to only be into one thing and that’s it. Whether it be fandom, characters, art style, etc. I can explore and check out different things, if you stick to only one thing you’re gonna eventually get bored and things will stagnate and then you’ll get burnt out, it’s not a bad thing to take a break from something and try different things, it’s good for you actually
I think it’s about time I start doing that
#fandom#fandom talk#glitchyko#glitchyko rambles#glitchyko ramble#lego monkie kid#lmk#artists problems#artists on tumblr#random ramble#ramble#artists struggles#artists pain#fandom discussion#art discussion#art talk#I guess this is my weird way of telling myself it’s time to take a break from lmk#I don’t plan on just never doing anything with it again#but I think I need a break#I wanna try and see new things#cotl#hollow knight#cotl seems pretty interesting#and slay the princess#I also wanna study the backgrounds in hollow knight#and I still need to watch dungeon meshi#so much to think about#so much to check out#mean brain#rambles
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PAIN MADE ATSUSHI FEEL LIKE HIMSELF.
I FUCKING LOVE THIS BIT IT'S EVERYTHING TO ME
#if I was a frequent writer this would fuel everything I put to paper. every single thing i wrote#would have the background of atsushi hated pain. pain made atsushi feel like himself#I think about this. all the fucking time. I need to read atsushi character studies I need to find likeminded people#who are just as obscenely crazy about this#ask#witch-of-aiaia#hi aiaia!
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having a time in the garden</33
#hm .#hypixel skyblock#K SO theres lumina she wants a ton of ench pumpkins thats fine and dandy until grandma wolf pulls up#wanting ench golden carrots ench sugarcane and a ton of ench pumpkins .. then ODOWA rolls up with the ench pumpkin request#a brief relief with gwendolyn wantin some enchanted cookies which ive got half of . the n tom pops in#ALSO wanting ench pumpkins</33 ive got 4 plots thus far#and one of them is all potatoes one of them is like 2/3 sugarcane 1/6 carrot 1/6wheat one of them is all cactus#and just bc of these guys one of them is all pumpkin (prolly gonna swap out half to be melon or smthin tho</33)#and PUMPKIN IS TOO SLOW FOR THIS </33 ITS A PAIN TO HARVEST IN COMPARISON .... maybe i need to change the setup from the default </33#any ways backgrounds are nothing ever uhh art on phone w hand is rarely easy and uhhh theres closer to shading than i expected lol#i shall call this . a study in colorpicking from minecraft skins#ehehehe i have the lotus equipment stuff all of it :] its not THAT impressive but its only been a few days so im proud !!#artnios
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I love the fact that I can work as hard as I can manage with a broken tooth and a dying tooth (one on each side, I've been chewing on the cavity for a year) and I still cannot save even $10 towards getting dental treatment (2 impacted wisdom teeth, + tooth broken off under the gum, + bad cavity) because I barely make enough to cover my food and board and the insane energy bill
#I'm just ranting don't mind me it's fine I am continuing to exist as usual I may delete this later bc it's a bit of a bummer to read#I prefer to keep my blogging to fun or otherwise nonserious content because it's supposed to be for decompression no real world drama here#I got into a 3 hour body language study and earned $50 so I spent that as fun money on a couple games during the Steam sale just to#take a break from the constant cycle of getting paid and then immediately saying goodbye to all but about 15 cents#(well it was 1 game Slime Rancher 2 and then 2 expansion packs one for Planet Zoo and another for Cities Skylines long play hours mileage)#I've tried to budget to buy small things like a fan or a toothbrush maybe (mine is 8yrs old and doesn't charge sometimes) but NOPE#let alone stashing away over $2000 for the amount of treatment I need given tooth extractions are $200-$500 each#I use about $50 of groceries a week ($30 USD) sometimes up to $80 if I need to buy some extra toiletries or bonuses like ham/falafel/bread#our last quarterly power bill was $1900 FOR NO REASON even for a winter one#olessan oration#the work I have is HIT/mturk type work which pays amazingly well and I am so grateful because I can't work in a traditional environment due#my inability to sleep/wake on anyone else's schedule and need for engaging work but it also means each worker is basically a contract worke#picking their own hours which is VERY HARD to stick to for me since I may also have ADHD-i but that diagnosis also costs like $2000 in Aus#so I'm doing my best fucking lmao#I have a set minimum hours I want to keep up to and move to full time but I am so exhausted by the constant background noise of#the tooth problems that I burn out very quickly#like the tooth ache isn't that bad#the tooth is actively dying but the pain isn't unbearable it just shits me off at all times#it's bearable most of the time and doesn't affect my sleep unless the temp is cold or something#it's been bad this week tho so I've gone through almost all my ibuprofen managing it#the tooth that broke off broke off earlier in the year and the gum has mostly healed over and the dead root is concealed inside my gums now#that stopped being painful in mid 2021 but when it died it was pretty bad it did stop me sleeping for a couple weeks#Christmas 2021 involved me contemplating ripping the tooth out myself lmao#the nerve eventually died seemingly without an abscess#unless I DID have an abscess but that seems extremely unlikely because abscesses are SEVERE AND HORRIBLE AND LIFE THREATENING#sometimes I can feel the tooth ligament wiggling on its own or I like flex it by accident it's so weird bc the tooth is gone so#the ligament is still holding onto the root but with way less weight#anyway I am eating my mac n cheese n veg with the side that has the missing tooth because the cavity tooth has a big bruise along the gumli#gumline which may be from overzealous brushing (I fill the tooth will temporarily filling putty and it needs to be cleaned well when the#putty falls out)
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bored at work
#warfame#holistichiatus#warframe fanart#screenshot study#i need to do more backgrounds bc they are pain for me
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ID: a tag. #this is actually how the CDC makes decisions i believe / end ID
the CDC has declared THE MIASMA harmless after extensive research by Subway Fresh™ scientists. “if THE MIASMA were dangerous,” say researchers, “no one would be able to Eat Fresh™ this summer”
#ID provided#like i WANT to trust the CDC and shit#but i only trust the explicitly linked sources and only as much as i see actual science agreeing#i do not have the time to check every paper or shit like that but if it's something 'political' enough to need urgent checking#i try to look at what science ppl in the field are saying when they read the papers#and work with my own science background to interpret how bad it actually is based on WHAT types of issues they see#like if they're saying 'hm methodology is standard and results are concerning' then i'm taking shit seriously but realistically#if they're like 'bruh wtf kinda methodology is this' then the whole paper is usually garbage better used to judge the politics#i do not want to be a methodology person. i just want to trust science :(#but alas#reminds me that a friend and i read - for shits and giggles - a paper suggesting that ppl with fibro should soak in baths for pain#among the problems: hm a 6 week 40 person study with 3 baths per week and showing substantial improvement for 6 months. hm.#and oh - what's this? they used the local hot spring baths? hm i wonder- ah that research lab is highly associated with them? wow!#and we're going into some strange analysis of the specific benefits of those springs? curious!#oh and the statistics section... was a single paragraph with no numbers#super super trustworthy ;)#i love when we simply apply ANOVA and tell no one anything#ANOVA is good but like... it requires a normal distribution. you need a much larger sample size to assume normal distribution in data#my stats class used 100 as a baseline but this was gen ed level shit#also if there's something that deviates from your conclusion do NOT just dismiss it out of hand!!! what's ur theory/theories???#aaaaaaaa
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“My most recent research study, which included more than 17,000 fifth-grade through 12th-grade girls in The Girls’ Index, reveals a troubling trend: 67% of the participants reported that they don’t say what they’re thinking or disagree with others because they want to be liked. Let that sink in for a moment. Two-thirds of girls are silencing themselves to be accepted.”
“Other findings from our survey are just as stark and, frankly, terrifying. Since 2017, the percentage of girls reporting confidence has declined from 68% to just 55%. A staggering 53% of girls report feeling persistently sad or hopeless. As one seventh-grade girl told us, “Girls my age don’t feel happy the way we are. We want to be someone else.” Reading this, I feel a painful twinge of recognition — like I’m hearing my younger self speak.
We also discovered that two-thirds of girls reported that their body image negatively impacts their confidence. Two-thirds! And nearly 60% of high school girls said they don’t believe they’re smart enough for their dream jobs.”
My analysis ⬇️
This is very disappointing, but it is no surprise. Undergoing female socialization means being conditioned to constantly monitor how you appear to other people.
Questions such as “am I being respected right now”, “do I agree with what is being said”, “do I feel healthy” take the background, while questions like “do I seem nice and kind”, “how can I get this person to like me” and “do I look pretty/skinny/young” take the forefront instead. This is an exhausting way to live.
In the political sphere, women are being asked to first change the language around how we think about our issues before we can talk about them. The specific words we use are often more important to those on the left than the actual content of what we are saying. Making sure we appear politically correct is being made more important than choosing the words that best reflect what we want to say. Often, changing our language so we can appear to be kind and considerate towards others completely obfuscates our points and issues.
As someone I forget so brilliantly put it, we are more concerned with saying nothing wrong than doing something right.
This preoccupation with appearance has a much deeper effect on the lives of women than most take for granted.
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"YOU'RE PREGNANT?!" FT. GOJO SATORU
✩ ‧ ˚. synopsis: gojo mistakes your period symptoms for signs of you being pregnant.
contents: fem!reader. mentions of pregnancy and periods (duh), gojo is an idiot (obviously), innocent miscommunication lol. gets pretty suggestive.
just because satoru gojo's the strongest sorcerer on the planet, that doesn't mean he's the smartest one; especially when it comes to you.
not too long ago, you got your period, and the cramps have to be the most painful thing you've ever experienced. nestling yourself farther in between the couch cushions, you wrap your arms around your stomach and wince, eyebrows furrowing. somewhere in the background, you hear satoru enter your house and call for you, but your stomach hurts a little too much to allow you to do more than hum in response.
"baby?" satoru calls again, poking his head in the living room and smiling when he sees you. "hey, i'm hom— babe, you okay?"
you open one of your eyes (which was previously squeezed shut) and look at him, a soft whine slipping out from your lips when the pain in your stomach goes up a notch. "hey, 'toru," you mumble, watching him quickly plop down besides you on the couch. his eyes round in concern when he notices how tight your teeth are pressed against each other, and a moment later, satoru scoops you up and holds you in his lap.
"is.. this 'cause of last night?" satoru murmurs, stroking your hair as you squirm in his grip. his eyes are focused on your scrunched-up face as you fidget, struggling to find a comfortable position.
"i dunno," you mumble, assuming that satoru's referring to the way you scurried off into the bathroom the second you and satoru finished round after round in his sheets. funnily enough, your interpretation of the events is starkly different than satoru's.
you had immediately gone to the bathroom because you suspected that your period might've come, and you were right. but to satoru, he had something very different on his mind; especially since last night was the first time you two had fucked without protection.
satoru pauses before replying, face slowly tinting pink as his version of the events settles in. he had no idea your departure from his arms so soon after sex was because you just wanted to check for your period; on the contrary, he thought you ran into the bathroom to check if you were pregnant.
"are you—" he starts, dipping his chin and looking you straight in the eye. satoru's azure eyes carefully take in your expression, studying your features for a sign of what's to come.
you nod. "yeah, i am." on your period, that is.
satoru's eyes widen and the corners of his lips twitch with a smile. "is that why your stomach's hurting?" he whispers, and you hardly spare a thought as to why his reaction was nothing like what it usually was.
"duh," you huff, automatically assuming that he's talking about period cramps. "why else would my stomach be hurting?"
"holy shit, are you kidding?" satoru breathes, eyes lighting up like a child's would on christmas. you make a face, confusion evident all across your features.
"that's not the reaction i was expecting," you note tentatively. satoru's mouth falls open a little and after a moment, he immediately dips his head and kisses you, long and slow. his mouth tastes like spearmint (like always), and something about the way his lips melt into yours feels... different.
"is this better?" satoru whispers, smiling against your lips. you nod, carefully removing your arms from your torso and wrapping them around satoru instead. you nod hazily, more invested in the way satoru's mouth collides with yours than in anything else.
"much better."
"anythin' for my pretty girl," satoru murmurs, eyes softening every time they settle on your face. his hand trails down your waist and settles on your tummy, and he slips his hand underneath your t-shirt and rubs the skin with his thumb. a couple more seconds slip by in silence, with the only sound being the soft breaths you two take in between kisses.
when satoru finally tilts his head up and takes a longer breath, you both open your mouths to speak at once.
"i can't believe i'm gonna be a dad."
"my period cramps feel a lot better."
the two of you stare at each other in silence for a long, long second. you blink and ask, "what did you say?"
satoru tilts his head like a confused puppy, eyebrows lifting in uncertainty. "uh, what did you say?"
you look away, cheeks heating up as you mumble, "satoru, i'm not... pregnant...?" you stare at him blankly, matching the confused look on his face. "i'm on my period, baby. what did you—"
"oh, shit."
"yeah."
five awkward seconds go by until you clear your throat and smile up at him hesitantly. "i mean... d'you want a kid?"
satoru's face somehow goes even redder, which you didn't know was even possible. after a moment, he nods, and the subtle movement is enough for you to grab his face and pull him in to kiss you again; and you stay like that for the rest of the night.
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