#and neither was her husband
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itspileofgoodthings · 4 months ago
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one of the things that continues to strike me on reread is how much the character of Darcy, and Austen through him, finds Mr. Bennet dead. And how much Elizabeth, in growing and changing and discarding her past blindness, has to move past her way of seeing her father and thus of seeing reality, because the two are connected! Darcy’s letter exposes her father’s flaws to Elizabeth in a way she’d never been able to see before. Most especially the way his laziness and neglect of his own gifts have hurt his family and that ultimately he doesn’t. care. Not enough to change. It literally says that she comes home from Hunsford and tries to laugh at her sisters’ and mother’s folly (the way she used to; the way her father has taught her to by example for her whole life) and she can’t anymore! It sticks in her throat. She is grieved by the failures that she sees in him, all the more so because she IS his favorite and she loves him! And the thing about Mr. Bennet is he never changes. The Lydia/wickham situation exposes to him sharply his own conduct and the consequences and he feels it! Because he is neither stupid nor unfeeling. But he, like everyone, has free will. And he chooses not to change when the opportunity presents itself. He even jokes about how quickly his feeling bad will pass and how soon everything will go back to normal, to his laziness and his selfishness. He is set in his ways and he serves as a contrast to Elizabeth’s personal journey because he embodies a version of a person she could have become and was in danger of becoming if her only goal at all times was to laugh at and judge people from the sidelines.
#pride and prejudice#I’ve always loved his character because he IS funny and he is iconic!!! and his love for Lizzy is touching!#he’s not faking it.#but he is so flawed. a man of taste a man of ability a man of judgment.#a man who could and SHOULD have set a different tone for his children and chose not to!#and they SUFFER FOR IT#their house is a divided one. and every child feels the pain of living in a house where the parents neither respect each other#nor are on the same team#there is a crack running through their house for this reason and it’s how Lydia (and Kitty) came to be so neglected!#who is going to discipline them or guide them? certainly not Mr. Bennet!#he’s so important to teach too. because the boys LOVE HIM. of course!#and are always very struck by his failures and laziness once I point it out#and yeah Darcy one of the only people who can expose him. because Darcy is putting in the work a man should be doing#Darcy’s house IS in order. his love is active and protective. he is fulfilling his role!#Mr. Bennet’s gifts are so extraordinary—the wit. the insight into human nature. honestly the capacity for wisdom#but he likes his library. he likes enjoying himself more than he likes doing his duty#as either a father or a husband#he does fail Mrs. Bennet! I have compassion for her there#anyway I love to think about this: something no version I have ever seen has ever fully explored#but man is it on the page#yeah yeah sorry for all the words. teacher off duty etc.
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lunarrolls · 7 months ago
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listen so closely to me i think liliana temult is a fascinating character and she’s really fun to examine morally but also nothing will ever come fucking close catharsis-wise to watching ashton and orym fucking cross examine her ass in episode 92. the sexiest shit i’ve ever seen “your worst fear is probably my worst fear, and i think we just got a little sample (my worst fear came true because you weren’t fast enough, what will you do when it’s her head on the line?)” and “keep wrestling (you must bear the weight of their deaths on your conscience and know it will never be enough for what you took from me)” like holy SHIT you guys
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neottia-orchids · 8 days ago
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I want the world to know that Boimler calling Mariner "Mare-Bear" will live rent free in my mind forever.
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thefirstlioveyou · 24 days ago
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How Smalltown Boy Connects with Mike's Relationship with his Parents
I can't get over how they chose Smalltown Boy for the FIRST track on Mike's playlist. I just can't. That's the gayest thing ever. Gayer than his staring I fear. The lyrics perfectly fit him, but not only because he's a closeted homosexual. It's also highlighting his dynamic with his family.
Of course, if we are getting into specifics, Smalltown Boy is a song about a young gay man running away from his homophobic home and town to live in the city to somewhere he can be himself. But generally, it's a song about not belonging and not feeling understood within a place, and the crippling loneliness that comes with it. So you seek a place where you can feel accepted and heard.
Struggling to figure out your place in the world, struggling with your sexuality and relationships, facing severe bullying, wanting to be understood and seen by your family for who you actually are while still struggling to accept who you are to begin with, desiring the escape from the place that brings you all those unmanageable problems -- That's Mike Wheeler.
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"Mother will never understand why you had to leave, but the answers you seek will never be found at home. The love that you need will never be found at home"
Obviously, the actual plot of the music video features homophobic parents. I don't believe Karen is, and I see Ted as more brainwashed yet careless. But "the love that you need will never be found at home" reminds me of the Wheeler family's emotional distance and lack of actual attention, and how it's damaging Mike especially. Nancy's already seen right through the bullshit. Mike hasn't.
I don't see them as the worst parents on the planet, but they're haven't been great. They have questionable parenting choices and the show wants us to pick up on that. If you haven't yet asked yourself "where the hell are his parents?" at least ONCE while watching ST, then idk lmao.
Come on. Not knowing your son has been hiding a whole child in your basement for a week?
Never talking to your son about his best friend's death and instead letting him take the responsibility to go to you first?
Not taking concern as to why your son is suddenly misbehaving at school? And instead, you force your child to get rid of 2 boxes worth of toys that hold emotional value to him (while mocking him for having said emotional connection)?
Not even being aware that your child is constantly bullied physically and verbally, and not even questioning visible marks that could indicate that sort of abuse?
Although it's unintentional and we see Karen aware that it's wrong, you're still essentially teaching your child that 1) their feelings or voice do not matter 2) they cannot trust or rely on you 3) their 'childish' interests that make them who they are do not matter and are something they need move on from because they "have to."
And we see this play out.
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If his parents can't even accept his innocent interests or show more consideration for them, if it just makes him a future high school dropout or a failure, what makes Mike believe they'd ever accept he's Gay?
Mike NEEDS a support system. He NEEDS parents who care MORE instead of waiting until government is at their doorstep. That type of love has not been consistent whatsoever at the Wheelers. To Mike, that kind of love cannot be found in his home. The answers to his problems cannot be found in his home. In fact, his upbringing is a big reason why he's in this complicated relationship with El to begin with. and he's accepted all that to be fine, despite us seeing how it's turning him into someone unable to manage their emotions who struggles with their relationships communication-wise.
"And as hard as they would try they'd hurt to make you cry. But you never cried to them, just to your soul. No, you never cried to them, just to your soul"
This refers to the severe bullying he faces that Mike confirms he's put up with all his life (just for it to be shut down immediately). His parents aren't aware. If Karen, his own mother, doesn't question a giant scab on his chin but some girl who is barely learning what friends are does, don't you think that says something?
"I'm here for you" doesn't mean anything if you aren't actively trying to actually be there. you have to look harder. look at what's right in front of you.
Sure, his mom hugs him! But I really hope we can all agree physical affection isn't the only thing that a child needs to trust. There is reason behind why we've never actually seen them talk about anything that's actually bothering him. Mike is not yet convinced he can go to his parents about the things we know he's facing, and the things that are implied that he's facing. Instead he handles it alone as a result of just "letting him come when he's ready."
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The only adult who wasn't afraid to actually talk to him and not let his emotions bottle up was...
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"Pushed around and kicked around, always a lonely boy. You were the one that they'd talk about around town as they put you down."
Part of this could be about his bullying experience in general, but I also believe this was foreshadowing for events in S5. Mike and the rest of hellfire are now targets and deemed part of a satanic cult. The whole town are against them and want them gone. Going from to feeling insecure for your 'childish' interests because of your parents, to becoming accepting of that part again, to now wanting to be killed for it by your town. Ain't that nice? Won't that gonna do wonders for this boy? :)
I actually predict they will take some inspiration next season from the hate crime scene in the music video. Perhaps The Hellfire Club/The Core Four/Mike will be attacked and Mike will be brought home/come home beaten.
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In the actual music video, the boy's parents find out he's gay from that and they do not accept it.
However, in the show, I think it'll be focused on him being in Hellfire (since DND is a metaphor for gay love between Mike and Will). I imagine it'll be like, "Michael, why are you still associating with them? You know what would happen!" They'd get mad at him for essentially "walking right into it himself." This sets off conflict in the Wheeler Family this season. Mike finally snaps at them, telling them it was bound to happen anyway. He mentions the bullying he's already delt with his whole life. He sees his parents' sudden care in his life as BS and how it had to take the entire town to hate him for them to finally see him.
Another scene they could parallel within this one scene (or in another) could be Jack McPhee's coming out scene from Dawson's Creek, a show the Duffers loved growing up. We often see parallels to that show when it comes to the show's drama, primarily with the El-Mike-Will Love triangle to the Joey-Dawson-Jen Triangle. Mike is also heavily paralleled to Jack McPhee.
In the coming out scene, Jack tells his emotionally neglectful father (who is definitely worse than Ted) - "I was different. And as hard as you've tried to stamp it out and ignore it, I have tried harder than you to be quiet and to forget it and to not bother my family with my problem."
If this doesn't sum up what's going on then idk what does.
It's not that his parents hate him for what they know about him, but they also aren't supportive either. They ignore him. They ignore everything outside of their own little bubble. They close themselves from the truth of what's going on in the town. They close themselves from their kids. They push them to hide and stay quiet, but that's just not who Mike and Nancy are.
We also know we're into some Wheeler drama this season considering all the leaks with Karen/Holly(?)/Henry and the interview with Joe Chrest (Ted's Actor). So scenes like this aren't far off the table.
Mike is a character that is struggling overall with his place in the world and identity. He is struggling with his self worth, his sexual orientation, his relationships, accepting the interests that make him who he is. He is conforming to societal pressures (much similar to his parents) because he doesn't know where else to go. He is confused. He struggles with self-worth and severe insecurity. He does not feel needed unless he is actively doing someone of service to the point of sacrificing his life, much like a superhero, hence his fixation of them. Superheroes are people who are wanted, who are heard and seen - Something Mike feels he isn't.
He's growing up in a small and conservative town, internalizing the homophobia he witnesses, internalizing what he HAS to be and has to feel - He has to want girls (and yeah, believe it or not, homophobia still impacts queer people regardless who it's directed to. there's reason why we see mike's reaction over anyone else's). But he just can't, yet he still tries because otherwise that'd be falling off a "normal path." He has to get rid of his toys and grow up to keep on a "normal path." He has to conform because he fears what would happen if you don't. That's something he's unfamiliar with.
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Mike needs to be finally seen by his family. His overall major struggle with conformity stems from there. It's what he needs emotionally, but it also makes sense narratively. It has to be from them. His whole arc along with them is to break free from their conformity, and it starts with the facing their truths as a family.
Mike won't end up making the choice the boy has to in the music video. In the end, he will have his family's support and acceptance. He will be able to be true to who he is. He will accept himself. He won't need to runway in fear. I do still believe he will leave Hawkins (with Will). It just won't be on a bad note!!
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wonder-worker · 4 months ago
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Thinking about Elizabeth Woodville as a gothic heroine is making me go insane. She entered the story by overturning existing social structures, provoking both ire and fascination. She married into a dynasty doomed to eat itself alive. She was repeatedly associated with the supernatural, both in terms of love and death. Her life was shaped entirely by uncanny repetitions - two marriages, two widowhoods, two depositions, two flights to sanctuary, two ultimate reclamations, all paralleling and ricocheting off each other. Her plight after 1483 exposed the true rot at the heart of the monarchy - the trappings of royalty pulled away to reveal nothing, a never-ending cycle of betrayal and war, the price of power being the (literal) blood of children. She lived past the end of her family name, she lived past the end of her myth. She ended her life in a deeply anomalous position, half-in and half-out of royal society. She was both a haunting tragedy and the ultimate survivor who was finally free.
#elizabeth woodville#nobody was doing it like her#I wanted to add more things (eg: propaganda casting her as a transgressive figure and a threat to established orders; the way we'll never#truly Know her as she's been constantly rewritten across history) but ofc neither are unique to her or any other historical woman#my post#wars of the roses#don't reblog these tags but - the thing about Elizabeth is that she kept winning and losing at the same time#She rose higher and fell harder (in 1483-85) than anyone else in the late 15th century#From 1461 she was never ever at lasting peace - her widowhood and the crisis of 1469-71 and the actual terrible nightmare of 1483-85 and#Simnel's rebellion against her family and the fact that her birth family kept dying with her#and then she herself died right around the time yet another Pretender was stirring and threatening her children. That's...A Lot.#Imho Elizabeth was THE adaptor of the Wars of the Roses - she repeatedly found herself in highly anomalous and#unprecedented situations and just had to survive and adjust every single time#But that's just...never talked about when it comes to her#There are so many aspects of her life that are potentially fascinating yet completely unexplored in scholarship or media:#Her official appointment in royal councils; her position as the first Englishwoman post the Norman Conquest to be crowned queen#and what that actually MEANT for her; an actual examination of the propaganda against her; how she both foreshadowed and set a precedent#for Henry VIII's english queens; etc#There hasn't even been a proper reassessment of her role in 1483-85 TILL DATE despite it being one of the most wildly contested#periods in medieval England#lol I guess that's what drew me to Elizabeth in the first place - there's a fundamental lack of interest or acknowledgement in what was#actually happening with her and how it may have affected her. There's SO MUCH we can talk about but historians have repeatedly#stuck to the basics - and even then not well#I guess I have more things to write about on this blog then ((assuming I ever ever find the energy)#also to be clear while the Yorkists did 'eat themselves alive' they also Won - the crisis of 1483-85 was an internal conflict within#the dynasty that was not related to the events that ended in 1471 (which resulted in Edward IV's victory)#Henry Tudor was a figurehead for Edwardian Yorkists who specifically raised him as a claimant and were the ones who supported him#specifically as the husband of Elizabeth of York (swearing him as king only after he publicly swore to marry her)#Richard's defeat at Bosworth had *nothing* to do with 'York VS Lancaster' - it was the victory of one Yorkist faction against another#But yes the traditional line of succession was broken by Richard's betrayal and the male dynastic line was ultimately extinguished.
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lastflowerofyourhouse · 1 year ago
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imagining a modern au with cam, pal, and dulcie where palamedes is like yes this is my wife dulcinea and then camilla walks into the room and plops down like hip-to-hip on the couch between them and pal just leans his head against her shoulder without thinking about it and dulcie starts playing with her hair. at least one of them is already halfway into her lap. and the person very reasonably asks something along the lines of "oh, are you guys poly?" and the three of them are like. no of course not why do you ask.
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diokiraceo · 1 month ago
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so I've already seen a few ships for Reca being thrown around, but have we considered
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listen-to-the-inner-walrus · 2 months ago
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Every time I watch A Crown of Candy, I get more and more defensive of Caramelinda. This woman deserves a vacation and at least six massages.
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backpackingspace · 6 months ago
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Young odysseus convincing everyone Ithaca is nothing but a poor island with rocks and goats to avoid any raids/conquerors/so he doesn't get murdered for talking to Helen bc "it's not like he's a real choice"
Young odysseus falling in love with Penelope at the same event: wait. Wait shit I fucked up hold on just hear me out
#the odyssey#Odysseus#Penelope#Pre-canon(?)#odypen#Odypen meet ulgy#When the cute “bumpkin” boy wants to marry you but only brought 3 goats for your cousins gifts#AND you caught him spying on your family#There's like a single line in the odyssey where I think some god is narratoring (not 100% sure)#And they have a well actually interjection moment to explain how Ithaca isn't just one island it actually has a shit ton of land#And is technically richer then every other country#Which honestly just makes it funnier that odysseus was like welp time to beg again with zero issues for 10 years#But it will never not be funny to me that young odysseus really shot himself in the foot with Penelopes family for the start#Like clearly it worked out but I bet Penelope father HATES him#Listen odysseus showed up to Helen's courting for the drama ONLY he never planned on marrying her#Bc he knew her husband would be murdered immediately#My man showed up for the drama and stayed for Penelope#Otp#I love them#And need more of these two being rat bastards to each other and LOVING it#Listen neither one of them has let a single thing go in their whole life and they like that about the other#Odysseus going to buy anything for his wife ever#Penelope: Oh my can we afford that this is just a simple rock island with a few goats#Odysseus: dressed head to toe in very very rich cloth that his wife made#Ithaca with the fastest ships bc ody designed new ones#Penelope: literally dripping with jewels that were MAYBE stolen (shut up you can't prove anything and Penelope likes it when he's a bastard#Odysseus: you're so right my bad that was so irresponsible for getting you a gift. Perhaps your father would like to pay instead?
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lighthouseas · 2 days ago
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i think it's pretty genius how st3 satirizes the american dream and how its constraints inadvertently caused the downfall of hawkins but some of you aren't ready to hear that
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starfieldcanvas · 3 months ago
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So if it's not Paladin of Souls, which is the Lois McMaster Bujold book you talked about in your notes? I'm curious 😊
The Sharing Knife! It's a four-book fantasy series in a setting based on the Great Lakes region. I was clueless enough the first time around (and so heavily used to vague-medieval-renaissance-Europe-expy fantasy settings) I didn't realize it the first time I read the series, but it's very obvious once you think about it at all, and sometime in the last two years my library updated the audiobook covers from the original "beautiful high-effort romance novel painting where they're both white" style to the "expressionless racially ambiguous cutouts that make the setting explicit" style:
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(These are the same book.)
It's a story about fantasy Native Americans ("Lakewalkers") and fantasy white settlers ("farmers"). The actual cosmology and history of the fantasy world is very different from our own—everyone is native to the same continent, and have been living in roughly the same area for at least a few hundred years—so the politics of settler vs. native don't actually apply in the same way. However, the tension of "people who share the land" vs "people who parcel off the land to sell" is still very present, as is the tension of quasi-nomadic groups with seasonal camp rotations vs. people who stay in place and build large towns with industrial capacity.
And then, of course, there's the magic. The Lakewalkers have limited hereditary magic powers, plus magic monsters they're sworn to fight; the farmers have no magic and no defense against it either. Farmers tend to mistrust Lakewalkers and misunderstand Lakewalker magic; Lakewalkers keep the secrets of their powers under wraps and often look down on farmers as a kind of invasive pest species. As I mentioned in my tags, Lakewalkers' most important magical tools involve someone choosing the time of their death—though typically only when already dying of terminal illness, old age, or a mortal wound.
If you love the movie Ever After like I do, you may remember the part where Danielle says to Leonardo, "A bird may love a fish, Signore, but where would they live?" The Sharing Knife is a series about a bird (Lakewalker) and a fish (farmer) that get engaged halfway through the first book and then spend the next three and a half books figuring out where the hell they're going to live...and slowly realizing they may have to remake society in order to find their place in it.
Even the book where they first get together is not really what you'd call a romance novel, but every book in the series is a lot more focused on a central romantic relationship than most fantasy adventure books, so it's interesting from a genre perspective. "Established relationship" is normally my second-least favorite AO3 (my least favorite being major character death) but the political and magical worldbuilding, and the family dynamics on both sides, kept me very invested even with the amount of meandering domesticity on display throughout the books.
There are some potential triggers to ask about if you have common trauma triggers, and the main romance has a pretty big age gap, which I know is a turn-off for some. But if you ever found yourself asking "why is the Wizarding World's excuse for keeping muggles in the dark so fucking flimsy?" or "how the hell does Wei Wuxian stand living in the Cloud Recesses when most of Lan Wangji's sect hates him?" or "why aren't more fantasy authors as obsessed with craft skills as Tamora Pierce" or "why aren't there more permanently disabled fantasy protagonists who actually have to cope with the limitations created by their disability?" or "why aren't there more fantasy protagonists who genuinely lack magical powers?" then this may be the book series for you.
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tuttle-did-it · 6 months ago
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So, funny story for you other aro/aces out there.
Years ago, I tried to explain to my grandmother that I was aro/ace because she kept demanding to know why I didn't have a partner.
She repeatedly told me I needed to get in a relationship, that I needed to have children. I told her I don't want any of that, I tried it and hated it and I'm much, much happier on my own.
She told me I would "grow out of it," and I would eventually "settle down" and do what I was "supposed to do” so I didn’t “die alone.”
I repeatedly explained that I don't actually enjoy sex-- in fact, I find it quite unpleasant. I don't like romantic relationships-- I just want to be on my own, with my dog. And that goes double for sleeping with anyone else in my bed except my dog.
This woman looked me dead in the eye and said, "no one likes sex. It's horrible. No one does it for fun, you do it because you are supposed to have a child. Even if you don't want one. And no one wants to sleep with another human in the bed, that's why your grandfather sleeps downstairs. No one wants to be in a relationship. It's hell. You do it anyway because you're supposed to. I did."
And I was like Ma'am.
MA'AM. Did you just hear yourself?
Point of the story? There have always been aro/aces, and always will be. And because society repeatedly told them they were broken, many of these people had to just fall in line.
So, big hugs and love to all the aros and aces, and aro/aces out there in the world today.
And hugs the ones who don't even realise it, or who have had to conform in society even when they didn't want to.
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aroacettorney · 1 year ago
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while im 100% biased and prefer ludgercasey to remain purely platonic aro4aro, there is actually one (1) very specific scenario that lives rent free in mind for if their relationship would ever develop into romance:
casey, due to her habits, has a tendency to try "charming" people with her winks
ludger, while accompanying her for a mission and witnessing this, roasts the effectiveness of caseys flirting techniques
casey, displeased with ludgers criticism, fires back at him
they get into a very *serious* argument on who is better at flirting than who
in their pettiness and prides, no one yields the other person, so they decide to make a bet
cue this happens:
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ineffableteeth · 1 year ago
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“Basic Demon on earth stuff either call on the phone and talk or appear mysteriously. Don’t do both.”
“Why not?”
“Trust me.”
What are you insinuating Crowley what’s she gonna see if she appears mysteriously unannounced?
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softshuji · 1 year ago
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eldest daughter syndrome really do be kicking my ass tbh
#i just find it like so unfair yknow#im the only one who works in myhouse and full time#but i come home and the house isnt clean and i tidy up and sort everything out and tidy the kitchen anf living room after dinner and put#my sister to bed and yk if there was no one else to do these things id understand but#i have 5 brothers all of whom are adults and they dont lift a finger#its not as if any of them work bec they dont and neither does my dad#and im so so so exhausted yk? bec not everything is my job or responsibility#and i keep blaming other things for me getting sick but yknow what maybe i just dont rest enough#and the other day i was upset bec i'd had a tough day at work and i felt unwell and i cleaned up everything after dinner and my brother#said i didnt have a right to be upset bec i “chose” this. like as if i chose to work full time nd do all the chores for a family of 9#and it just really upsets me bec no one sees an issue with it and im so mad at my mom at rhe same time#constant therapy sessions w her bec shes mad at my dad and wants someone to vent at and then he does the same abt her and my brothers#and im so tired yknow just sososos tired bec she'll complain abt how they dont do anything but then she wont ensure they do either#its just empty complaints whereas she thrust responsibility on me when i was 9 and yet my brothers are 18+ - all but one that is and they#cant even do their own laundry bec she just..... did everything for them all the time but now is mad that they cant do anything.#like yes i know my dad is a failure of a husband and a father i expected that i'll never be a good enough daughter for him and that the onl#thing he has to say about me is that im bringing shame on our family despite everything ive done but come on#im just tired and upset#its hard not to see yourself as a robot or machine when theres little room to be anything else.#and even on a day like today when i dont feel well it never stops and i just keep doing#im sad i want a hug from my gangster bf#oh god i am sorry pls do not perceive me for this#and yk what#thats why i cant stand when people are nice to me bec all i can think of is#i havent done anything to deserve this? i should have to give something in return#or if not#theres something this person must want because why else would they be nice to me when i havent done anything for them#i cannot fathom the concept that someone just wants me because its me#its literally just not possible why would anyone fo that for me
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pureanonofficial · 1 year ago
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Why you're nuthin' but a mangy dog and somebody orta shoot you.
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