#and naturally the lost elf theme too

[reagan-the-saunders]

imma just straight up say it, if they don't reprise Solas' Dark Theme from the Trespasser sound track in The Veilguard I'm straight up throwing paws, hands, all of it.

[ciderjacks]

ok I mentioned this earlier and people were sort of confused but I’m gonna try to explain why I think the long AND short lifespan issues were resolved by the end of dungeon meshi. WARNING: DUNMESHI SPOILERS AHEAD

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Part 1: the lifespans aren’t natural

ok so I’m gonna start with that no I don’t think Marcille got her wish, at least not the way she wanted. Marcille wanted to bend the rules of nature so everyone would live an unnaturally long time. However, the lifespans that the races in dungeon meshi have (besides tall-men, but I’ll get to that later) are also not natural. They only had those lifespans because the winged lion was maintaining that lifespan for their race.

You can see at least 3 different races here that are asking for different life spans, what they’re asking for lines up with what the lifespans are.

the dwarf asked for immortality, the elf asked specifically for a thousand year life, the half foot heard this and said that was too long, and to make it shorter. The only ones who didn’t ask for a lifespan alteration were the (would be) tall-men. The lifespans aren’t natural, they’re caused by the demons magic…

part 2: so what of the demons magic?

This is I think the most explicit statement, that the demons magic, every wish the demon granted, is lost. This includes lifespans, one of the oldest wishes it granted. And I wanna highlight one thing she says specifically. “We have the luxury of time”. I don’t think that means a long life, I think it means the opposite. The narrative regards these lifespans as unnatural, destructive and soul sucking. The immortal townspeople are cursed, time doesn’t matter to them, and so they have no desires, or drive to continue. This is depicted by them finding food flavourless.

and when they no longer have immortality look at how they think of food. That is the luxury of time, not to avoid it, but to experience it. This is what the “long-lived” races must learn in the absence of the demon, now lacking the extra hundreds of years the demon had gifted them. That’s why it’s important that Marcille didn’t get her wish the way she wanted, because she wanted everyone to live forever. And speaking of Marcille’s wish.

She says she’s learned to embrace death, and not because of anything the demon did. She wanted to live forever with her friends, she didn’t want to confront death. With the demons magic gone, she no longer has the extra thousand years. She’s learning to accept her friends mortality, yes, but she’s also learning to accept her own.

part 3: the theme of accepting death

Like I said earlier, Marcille is afraid of death. So is Delgal/Yaad. The end of the story resolves their acceptance around death and dying. As much as Marcille wanted everyone else to live, there’s a reason she decided everyone should just live a thousand years. She doesn’t want to sacrifice her own lifespan, she wants infinite time with the people she loves. In the aftermath of the winged lion, she instead gets a much shorter amount of time. Delgal/Yaad is similar, in that he feared death. He says he was afraid of dying and losing everything, but now he’s ok with that reality, because the reality of an extended or eternal life was much worse.

part 4: the curse of living and the curse of living too long

To desire is to eat is to live. Our most primal instincts. The long lived races, while not immortal and desire-less, had an unnatural amount of time on their hands. They were able to forego their humanity because they’d been gifted all the time they wanted, which lead to fighting and oppression of the short lived races (which is why it’s important for Laios to be the king, even though the elves and dwarves have lost the demons magic. Their mindset at that point in time, is of people with too much time on their hands.)

When Falin speaks to the demon, stripped of all his desire, he describes living as cruel. From his perspective, humans have a limited time and a constant desire, sorrow and anxiety pressing at them. Yet, Falin says it’s delicious. The fear inherent to living is natural, it’s what makes life interesting, and so it’s thematically important that the magic allowing certain races to avoid this reality isn’t maintained. Marcille’s wish was based in truth, it was how she went about it that was wrong.

Part 5: the end of the racial power dynamic

Obviously the races and cultures are still different, they were different before the winged lion began granting wishes, and will remain different, however what the narrative tells us again and again is that the lifespans are equivalent to a power structure. Elves and dwarves are at the top, because they were granted long lives. This power structure is explicitly not natural, it’s not how the races should be, Ryoko Kui emphasizes this several times. So given this, I think it’s really important that at the end, when the demons magic is gone, all the races become one unit. There is no more power structure, is what this implies. One of humanities oldest desires, the desire to live eternally, is undone.

Ryoko Kui wanted to show that the racism and the power structures weren’t logical, and they weren’t natural, and now the people will have to navigate without those, without differences of lifespan, and without the ability to push away death.

part 6: conclusion

“Surely your kind exists for no reason but to starve” = “you exist for no reason but to die”

as Laios literally consumes life force itself, destroying the demon and destroying its magic. After he does this, the races are portrayed as one unit. The elves say that while magic isn’t gone, the demon’s and what came with it is, and that things will be different from thereon-out.

magic will continue to exist, but its been effectively reset, or unraveled, by the death of the demon.

the ability to live hundreds of years is lost, and while the winged lion, an eternal creature, thinks of this as a curse, to humans it’s a secret blessing. The impact of time is what keeps us going.

The structures set up by the ancient lifespan wishes are also undone. No race should get to live longer than any other, humans shouldn’t have unnatural structures like that. It disrupts the natural flow of living. Thats the resolution to the lifespan issue. Not ���Marcille has to accept that she’s going to live an unnaturally long life”, but “Marcille has to accept that no one should have that much time, including her”. That’s why I think the lifespan issue is resolved when the demon dies. Thanks for reading, if you managed to read all of this.

[roguishcat]

Augustarion Day 14 – Protective

Day 1 -🍓, Day 2 - 🌊, Day 4 - Mythologies, Day 6 - Cream, Day 7 - Underwear, Day 15 - Shirt that goes hard

Pairing: female reader (You) x Astarion

Tags: angst and eventual fluff, PTSD as a result of past sexual assaults, panic attack, post-confession relationship, some canon-compliant violence

Word count: 2.7k

Excerpt: “Why?” he said in a gravelly voice.

You could barely focus on his face, but you lifted your hand and touched his cheek. It felt wet.

“I’m sorry, ” you managed a pained smile.

“Sorry? What are you even sorry for! Do you understand what you have done, you foolish creature! Why? Why would you come for me at all?”

“It’s like you said. I'm a complete fool. Fool for you, my love.”

A/N: In spite of me attempting to treat the subject matter with utmost gentleness, this one-shot includes themes that some readers may be uncomfortable with.

Astarion wandered blindly, not caring where he was or where he was going. There was no chance you would forgive him now. Not after he acted so abhorrently.

He stopped when he realized that he long passed the outskirts of the city, crashed through the bushes where houses were beginning to get swallowed up by the forest line and was wondering through the woods aimlessly. He didn't know why he still kept going, but it made sense in a strange way. He felt lost and he was lost.

Very fitting.

Soon  after, the elf fell to the ground, pushing himself up to lean back against a tree, and allowed his mind to drift.

He didn’t know what possessed him yesterday. He said such disgusting, cruel things to you. It was unforgivable, especially considering that you did absolutely nothing wrong.

There was a human girl at the tavern.  She was quite beautiful, stunning really. Long red hair and soft hazel eyes. And it was second nature, instinctive really. To slip into the role of the rake, to try to charm yet another faceless victim. She sat there, at a dimly lit table at the back, daintily eating while other patrons around her tore into their food and gulped down drinks like complete heathens.

He took one look at her and had a thought flit through his mind.

Easy.

So, when she gave him yet another furtive look under long lashes, he sauntered over to her and struck up a conversation. Astarion was not even sure what exactly he said, couldn’t remember for the life of him. But some sick sense of obligation encouraged him to pursue her. And pursue her he had.

She laughed and flirted a little clumsily, inexperienced and giddy to have his attention. He replied with some tired lines that she seemed to enjoy well enough. Leaning closer to whisper something into her ear, he moved a long, wavy strand of hair out of the way to breathe in the scent of her skin, nose touching her neck, hearing her heart speed up at his proximity.

That's when he noticed something different about her scent. It was wrong, all of this was very wrong. He felt sick to his core and shook himself, as if trying to wake from a nightmare.

And then he looked up, the blurry images in front of his eyes slowly coming into focus and saw you. Just standing there with a frown on your face, looking at the scene unfolding in front of you with confusion. Your mouth moved and you said something, but he didn’t hear any sound come out. Pushing past you, Astarion fled the tavern and hid himself in the back alley, on the edge of dry heaving as he felt wave after wave of disgust and self-loathing. He heard a gentle voice as cautious steps approached him and slapped your hand away when he saw it from the corner of his eye.

“Don’t touch me! Don’t you dare!”

And then more words came. Cruel, biting and hurtful, each one a dagger that cut deeply. He wanted you to say them back, to have evidence for his suspicions that you never saw him as more than a body, more than a handsome face.

But when he looked up, there was hurt, but there was also caring in your eyes. And he couldn’t bear it. It was too much.

Astarion pushed away from the wall and ran, streaking through the city as fast as he could, casting Misty Step to put more distance between you and him.

He was confused, disgusted and ashamed. Not being able to explain exactly what happened for the life of him. That was hours ago. He ran until he could run no more.

Astarion rolled onto his side, getting dirt and pine needles on his clothes. He just wanted to rest and be done with the whole mess. His eyelids felt heavy, and although small stones cut into him where his skin was exposed, he could not move. Astarion knew that instead of trancing he would probably fall asleep, a rarity among elves unless they were at their limit.

He realised that falling asleep here was near suicidal, he was vulnerable while he slept. The numerous enemies that your group managed to make could attack him easily, he would not wake in time and have no defence against them.

He would rest, and in his weakened state, he would be easy prey. Astarion knew full well that they were being constantly watched. Although he didn’t fancy himself the most formidable warrior of the group, the easiest way to defeat them would be picking them off one by one. If it was him, he would use this opportunity and strike.

But he didn't care anymore. It just didn't seem worth it. He was already broken beyond repair, existing on borrowed time. If he slept here, instead of pushing on to return to the city, at least he wouldn't have to see the hurt in your eyes again.

Of course, you would be upset for a while after he disappeared, but that would pass. Someone else would comfort you. Someone worthy. Someone who could reciprocate your love and would be able to give you everything that you deserved. He was sure of it.

And thus resigned to his fate, Astarion closed his eyes and let himself rest.

You walked through the woods, looking for your runaway vampire. You were not sure how exactly you were meant to find him, but you were determined. You had plenty of supplies and all your weapons, so you just decided to keep walking until you located him. Halsin said that there were signs that Astarion went in this direction, a piece of fabric snagged on a tree here,  a footprint by the wet ground of a shallow creek there. Other signs, like the telltale scent of bergamot and brandy, could only be picked up by the druid, who would change direction slightly from time to time, as Astarion apparently zigzagged through the woods. In spite of weeks of walking, you were starting to feel a little winded, Gale and Shadowheart were hot on your heels, the cleric fairing better than the wizard.

The others stayed at Elfsong in case Astarion returned there. Lae’zel was not exactly thrilled at the whole ordeal, feeling that if Astarion decided to do something as incredibly stupid as run off when they were on the cusp of a great battle, then the only thing he could do was die an honourless death somewhere far where the elements would claim his flesh and bones. Wyll assured you that Lae’zel didn’t mean it, but you both knew that she was sure that you were simply too soft to let nature take its course.

Your scowled and tried to push yourself to walk faster, though it was almost impossible to keep up with Halsin. Your mind kept replaying what had happened at the tavern, although you didn’t quite understand what was it that you witnessed. You saw Astarion flirting with a pretty, busty redhead, which you were not exactly thrilled about, but old habits die hard. Or in his case, 200 years of being put through torture unless he did anything and everything that he was told to do. Including flirting with sweet things in taverns.

 In hindsight, you felt that you could have handled it better. Instead of giving Astarion space, you followed him into the alley. Maybe if you just let him process it in his own time, he wouldn’t have run away at all, and you wouldn’t have this wild goose chase in the middle of the night.

“I sense Astarion nearby,” Halsin said softly, making your heart squeeze with worry and hope.

You heard voices and immediately signalled the others. Shadowheart nodded and tapped Gale on the shoulder, making him switch course. And then as you got closer the malicious, taunting voices got louder, but luckily, they seemed to be moving in a different direction, towards the city.

Following Halsin, you reached an opening in the trees and saw Astarion on the ground. You ran to him, wondering if he had been injured. He appeared to be fine, just exhausted beyond belief. You held his face in one hand and lifted his head gently off the ground with the other, placing it on your lap.

“What should we do?” Gale said in a low voice.

“I think we should make camp here till morning. It would be more dangerous to try to get back to others now,” you replied. “With some luck, we will be able to rest a little and set off at first light.”

Gale nodded and started to prepare a small camp. The night was turning cold and despite not wanting to attract attention to yourselves, you had no choice but to start a fire. As you were putting the last of the rocks for the fire-pit in place, you heard a growl revibrate through the bushes behind you. Stalking slowly, gnolls and other Absolutists emerged out of the darkness.

You stepped in front of the tent that currently housed Astarion, putting yourself between the attackers and the tent, making them turn their attention to you.

"I'm sorry, but this is a private campsite. You'll have to find accommodations elsewhere," you ground out, eyes hard.

You saw others getting ready for battle in your peripheral but did not break eye contact with the cultists.

The gnolls growled, baring their fangs, and hunched down preparing to pounce.

Swiftly, you brought your arm up, an arrow already notched. Electricity infused the tip of the arrow, the sparkling, crackling glow illuminating your scowling face.

"You caught me on the wrong day, you bastards."

A grating, insistent sound in the back of his mind began to rouse his consciousness. One by one, Astarion’s senses began to come back on-line. He kept his eyes shut, but the noise got louder, followed by an inhuman, vicious roar. It was a familiar sound, one he had heard before, he just couldn't place it.

A voice called out, "Go ahead and try me, you bitch, I'm tougher than I look!"

That voice, it awoke something in him. The events of last night came flooding back in a rush of humiliation.

But why is she here? I left. I left her. I should be dead.

His eyes snapped open, and Astarion sat up quickly, realising that he was in a tent. He rubbed his head, and tried to figure out what was going on. He realized what the sound was. It was the roar of a bear.

"Halsin, look out! Shadowheart, he needs healing!"

That roar sounded again, but was cut off abruptly as it turned into a pained whine. Astarion realized he was sheltered from whatever was going on outside, and it sounded like a full-on battle. Pine needles and leaves covered the ground, but someone placed him on a bedroll. Crouching, he pulled the tent flap aside, squinting as the last rays of the evening sun hit his eyes, making him realise that he must have slept for at least half a day.

At the edge of the clearing stood an enormous ogre, much larger than the one they fought against at Moonrise Towers. The creature focused its eyes on its sole opponent – you. Shadowheart was desperately trying to heal Halsin with what appeared to be the last of her magic, Gale blasting an attacker with Eldrich Blast before falling on his knees in exhaustion.

The ogre roared and charged forward, the earth pounding with each footstep as she picked up speed.

"I warned you, you unwashed goblin's backside! This ends now!"

Astarion turned and saw you, looking dishevelled and bloody, armour cracked. But you were not some pathetic girl to be pitied. You stood proud in the evening light, sunset framing your defiant stance. You stood there unafraid, protecting your friends. Protecting him.

Astarion took an involuntary step towards you as you stepped out of the ogre’s way, the weapon smashing against the ground with such force that you would have been dead if you didn’t move in time. Enormous body still folded in half gave you the opening for you to make your move. You thrust your sword into the ogre’s neck and twisted. An inhuman howl tore through the air, but you didn’t let up, pushing on it with all you had until the weapon was all but buried in flesh. The ogre fell to her knees and then slumped to the side and its last breath came out with a choke.

Your breathing was laboured as you tried to pull the sword out but had no luck.

"Shit," you realized that there was no getting it out, "will have to come back for that later."

Then you turned and your eyes met.

“Star…” you took a step forward and faltered.

Astarion rushed towards you and caught you just before you hit the ground, cradling you to his chest with shaking hands.

“Why?” he said in a gravelly voice.

You could barely focus on his face, but you lifted your hand and touched his cheek. It felt wet.

“I’m sorry, ” you managed a pained smile.

“Sorry? What are you even sorry for! Do you understand what you have done, you foolish creature! Why? Why would you come for me at all?”

“It’s like you said. I'm a complete fool. Fool for you, my love.”

Your head lolled to one side and your hand fell away from his cheek as you gave in to your exhaustion. Astarion was very still, your words rendering him immobile. It felt as if someone sucker punched him. He just stared at your grimy, blood-splattered face in disbelief and shock. Then he blinked and forced himself to focus on the issue at hand. He had to get you to safety and fast.

Looking up, Astarion surveyed the clearing. It was littered with bodies of the fallen, fortunately there were no familiar faces among the dead. Shadowheart, Halsin and Gale seemed to be at their limit, but they were alive and in much better shape than they should have been, considering the sheer number of enemies the group was up against.

Astarion gripped your body tighter and stood, carrying you with utmost care, exchanging words with others in a soft voices. You all needed to get away from the clearing. It was unlikely that more cultists would turn up now and yet… It was better not to push your luck.

Gently laying you down on the bedroll, Astarion began to pack up camp.

He still could not believe that you came for him. And not just you, the rest too. He felt himself tear up again and wiped at his eyes with a jerk, hands moving and putting things away quickly. The others seemed in a terrible shape, but alive and, after some potions, well enough to make it back to the city.

At first, he was ashamed to look at them, but then felt Halsin’s hand on his shoulder and saw something warm and gentle in the druid’s eyes, and felt some tension leave his body.

They could never understand what he went through. What he was still going through. But they could accept him, faults and all. And you…

Such a fearless, unstoppable warrior earlier, standing proud over the bodies of defeated enemies. So vulnerable and defenceless in his arms now.

You were a fool for trying so hard. For fighting for him. For loving him. For forgiving him. For apologising to him when you had done nothing but try.

But you were his fool.

Astarion felt his mind drift and focused on your breathing, your warm weight in his arms, the way your hair tickled his skin. There would be good days and there would be dark, terrible moments when he wished he could claw himself out of his own body. But he was not alone. He had you to anchor him. To protect him and need his protection in turn. You were good for each other. Partners. Equals.

He prayed to all the gods in his 200 years of slavery, and they never answered his pleas. But perhaps they did send him you. And so, he resolved not to give up. Not when you wedged yourself so firmly in his undead heart and showed him how messy, difficult, painful, and truly wonderful life could be.

💖 Tag list 💖:

@ninty900, @ayselluna, @dajeong, @ravenswritingroom,

@misscrissfemmefatale,

@clazberryk, @anukulee,

@preciouslittlebhaalbae,

@sh3rl0ck, @mellowenthusiast2299,

@fleetstreet78, @starlight-rogue,

@obsessedwhyyes, @arzen9

[tinietaehyun]

Sweet Nothings

Elf!Hueningkai x Researcher!reader] [One-shot series]

Pairing: Elf!Hueningkai x Researcher!reader

Genre(s): Fantasy, romance, dark fantasy, mystery, thriller, one-shot.

Contains: Profanity, mythical creatures/supernatural beings, mentions of blood, injury, captivity, dark themes. 

Link: MYSTIC TRAIL MASTERLIST (for the other members!)

Summary: Your footsteps crunch through the dead leaf litter as you grunt and push through the numerous vines. You’d gotten separated from your fellow researcher and now you were additionally lost. You had no idea where your base camp was. You knew this was a fucking bad idea; but the pay check was just too damn good. Now you know it was more likely incentive.

A pure voice alerts you through the shrubbery, “Goodness, don’t you look all bruised up! You’re rather far from your little camp, no?” You peer up at the source of the voice. Holy fuck, this man was beautiful.

————————••••••••••••••—————————

“This is insane, I can’t believe we’re here finally!” Your colleague utters in awe. You had to agree with him, you were practically vibrating with excitement. You were finally brought on the expedition to Deep Grove.

A forest known for its vast array of supernatural species living within it. Some people say once stepping into it, you’re stepping into another dimension, others say, that’s it’s heaven on Earth. Researchers such as yourself though, simple see it as a perfect spot to collect and expand your information on the supernatural creatures present.

For years, researchers have visited this area. Some attempts have been successful with even entire beings being brought back to labs and research facilities and others not quite as successful. Not all supernatural creatures were harmless. It was a dangerous profession but you enjoyed it regardless. This was your first time going on a proper expedition with your current organisation.

You and your colleagues had been assigned a particular section of the forest and had been trekking for around ten minutes now. Everything was stunning; it appeared as though everything had this ethereal glow to it. You, yourself felt almost feather-light and airy. You felt free and were overjoyed at the prospect of seeing all this untouched nature.

You knew if any humans attempted to hurt the nature here, there would be catastrophic consequences not only to the ecosystems here but a vast array of hexes, curses and spells would be placed on whoever hurt this place. Thus, it’s remained untouched.

At the center of the dense forest is a small clearing where the sunlight filters through the dense canopy and foliage of the trees. You feel as though the air is alive with the buzzing and clicking of insects and beetles alongside the subtle sounds of larger animals moving through the underbrush. A warm, almost ethereal glow emits from the thick mistwood trees that surround the small clearing, leaving their leaves and branches gently glistening in the golden-hued beams of light.

You murmur, “Hey, this clearing is incredible. I’m gonna perch here and take some photos.” Your colleague smiles warmly at you and hums, “For sure, go for it. I’ll walk on up ahead, the map says we only have a few more metres to go till we find elf territory.” You nod, “Careful. Don’t go further than the clearing here, illusions start appearing beyond a certain point.” He smiles at you, “Nah, I got this. It’s you I’m worried about. You look like a lost puppy.”

You scoff waving him off, “I’m just admiring this stunning flora and fauna, man.” He chuckles, “Yeah, stay here. I’ll be back in a few. I’ve got to start marking up the area.” You nod as you grab your camera out of your bag as he walks off. You may not be as experienced as him but you were beginning to get annoyed at how infantile he treated you.

With that, you begin taking pictures of the stunning scenery. Capturing every moment with the camera, you release a sigh. You wish you could stay here forever and forget about all the responsibilities of the world. Perhaps, that was asking for too much.

Your ear perk up hearing the eerily haunting cry of a Phoenix. You let out a gasp as you see the fiery bird soar through the trees and you can’t help but follow it with your camera zooming in as best as you can to spot the details of the incredibly stunning bird. You’d never seen one in real life before!

Your feet begin moving on their own as you step slowly towards the tree where the majestic bird perches itself in its flaming glory. You ever so desperately wanted to get a stunning shot of this sight! As you step forward, you suddenly feel yourself toppling over as your boot gets caught on a tree root.

With that, you stumble clumsily forward and yelp chaotically as you land on the ground onto the leaf litter and end up rolling quite a bit through the bushes. You hadn’t exactly anticipated that the land beyond the clearing would be a slope.

You groan sitting up all cut up and bruised at the bottom of the slope. Releasing a hiss as your injuries begin to burn, you steady yourself and peer around. The forest looked all the same around you. You had been so disoriented through your fall you didn’t realise which direction you’d fallen in. All you knew was that you had to go back up the slope, but with all that thorny foliage and steepness, you doubt you could get back up just as easily as you had tumbled down.

Sighing shakily, you brush yourself off and groan, “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” Your heart pounds against your chest. You were feeling an amalgamation of both fear and anxiety. How were you going to get back to your spot, no less, your base camp? What about your colleague? You knew you were absolutely in for it, if you’d got back!

Though you’d take getting yelled at for being stuck in the woods and starving to death any day! Not to mention, you had left your map up there with the rest of your backpack. You were wholly screwed.

You didn’t even know how far you were from the clearing. Everything around you seemed to look the same. It felt disorienting and panic begins to sink into your senses. Shaky breathes tumble out of your lips as your scratched up hands tremble.

Your eyes glance over seeing your pathetic excuse of a camera (which unfortunately cost you a lot) now partially in pieces. You whine crouching down picking up the pieces of your camera in your hands, “I’m so fucking stupid. Oh fuck me, I can’t believe this.”

Sighing, you grab the memory card and place it into one of your pockets. You peer at the slop and decide to try your chances whilst also yelling for help at the same time. You knew this forest was a being within itself, you didn’t know whether you’d be able to even reach your colleague. Only the supernatural could traverse through the forest with ease. Humans all too often got lost here and it looked like you were now going to be added to the list.

“Help! Help? Can anyone hear me?” You call out for the fourth time as you push past the numerous fines and push harshly through the bushes. Your feet crunch through the leaf litter. You let out a frustrated grunt as your feet keep slipping as you try to make your way up the slope. This wasn’t going to work any time soon and your injuries were bound to get infected.

A startled yelp escapes your lips as a pure voice alerts you through the shrubbery on your left side. “Oh goodness, aren’t you all bruised up? You’re rather far from your little camp, no?”

You stiffen as you study the being standing amongst the glowing shrubbery. Holy fuck, that man was beautiful. Well, man is more of a generalisation, in fact you should say elf. That elf was beautiful. His ever so slightly delicate, pointed ears gave him away immediately.

Ethereal, couldn’t even begin to describe him. Your heart races seeing his face. His features were sharp; his nose in particular. He had thin rosy lips and a sharp jawline that could slice through the thickest of vines. His brown hair glimmers under the streaks of sunlight peering through the canopy. His skin itself had a shimmering glow to it as if he had bathed in fairy dust.

“I’m more accustomed to humans screaming when they lay eyes on me, this is rather new. Or is this a new human response I’m not aware of?” The pointy-eared gentleman tilts his head curiously. You couldn’t even fathom any words to reply. Even his voice was lovely to the ears; it was light in tone and had a mischievous sound to it. His eyes sparkle as they meet yours taking you in your entirety.

“Hello?”, he waves in front of his face. “Are you conscious?” You blink rapidly trying to ground yourself. There was an actual elf in front of you. Elves you had studied throughout your degree. The very species now in front of you talking to you.

You murmur tentatively, “Yes, yes I am. Sorry I’m just in a little bit of shock.” He gives you a breathtakingly warm smile before chuckling, “Oh I see, I was beginning to get worried that you’d hit your head a little too hard on the fall down here.”You gawk are him in horror, “You saw me, fall?”The tall elf lets out a mischievous giggle, “Ah; about that. Yes, I did. It was quite a nasty fall. Your poor gadget there is also in pieces.” You groan peering over at the grave site of your camera, “Don’t remind me…”

He hums still remaining fixed in his place a few metres away from you. “Are all humans this clumsy? The ones I’ve met previously aren’t as…careless as you are? Are you new here?”

You peer away in sheer embarrassment. His laugh resounds through the woods; it sounds delightful like a musical melody. “You are? Aren’t you? I knew most humans aren’t like this. This is so endearing! You’re like a baby elf!”

You grunt deciding that it was best to stop talking and let him have his fun. You knew elves get bored easily. Hopefully this new nuisance would leave you alone instead of humiliating you further with your lack of experience and sheer stupidity.

“I’m sorry human, I’ve not seen such a ridiculous situation in a long time. Usually I’m the one having to be on the run from humans or hiding out of their sight. Though it appears you’re not a threat like the others are.” He teases. You glare at him as you sit down on the leaf litter unimpressed.

The young man steps out from the foliage revealing the rest of himself. You have to keep your jaw from falling to the floor at how tall he truly is and the intricacy of his outfit. The various jewellery that hangs off him and the shades of brown and green compliment his honey skin tone perfectly.

“Oh my, human, I thought it was impolite to stare in your world.” You stammer peering away, “Sorry, just. I never expected to see an elf.” He smiles at you warmly walking over to you and you stiffen keeping your eyes glued to him; you weren’t completely sure if you could still let your guard down after all.

“I’ve never really seen a human up close. You don’t mind do you?” He tentatively crouches down beside you and your heart races. His umber eyes trail across your face making your cheeks heat up incredibly. There was a mystical aura about him making the very hairs on your body rise and goosebumps litter your sweaty and dirt-ridden skin. You kind of wish you were in a more pleasant state for him to look at.

“You have such delicate features. I’ve noticed most humans look just like us. Though, they do not have any magical aura. It’s fascinating, no?” He ponders. You don’t know how to respond as you feel breathless. “Human? You’ve gone so quiet.”

“Said human, has a name you know?” You quirk peering into his alluring eyes. His lips curl into a playful smile, “Is that so? Allow me to ask you then, what’s your name pretty human?”

If you could faint, you would have. Actually; you don’t even know how you’re still coherently talking to him without blabbering. He chuckles, “Don’t worry, I’m not like the fae. Your name has no value to me.” Murmuring you respond, “I know. It’s Y/n.” He nods before humming, “My name is Huening kai, though most call me Kai. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

This was still so surreal for you. Huening kai outstretches his hand waiting for you to shake it. You take his hand and feel how incredibly soft it is as you shake it. You couldn’t believe it! Even his hand shimmers under the sunlight. “Beautiful…” you murmur.

“Hm?” He questions and you hurriedly shake your head, “Nothing.” Huening Kai lips form a coy smile, “Oh I heard you, thank you.” You scoff, “At least I know the research about elves being pests was right.”

His eyes widen, “What? It says that in your little books?” You groan, “Not exactly. They used a more technical phrase for that, but whatever.” You notice his eyes still scanning your face, “What is it?”

He gives you a playful grin; boyish almost. “You’re cute, all covered in dirt, hair all messy. It’s endearing.” You mutter, “I think the term you mean is pathetic.”

He bursts out laughing, “You’re a funny one. All the other humans that have stumbled here, they were either too frightened of me, or they tried hunting me down. Or they were just far too boring.” You sigh, “Glad I am entertaining enough for you, Kai.”

You stiffen, you didn’t mean to just let his name slip out so casually. “Oh my, I like that. Say it again.” You mutter annoyed, “I have to get back to my camp.”

“Say it again, and I’ll consider helping you.” Rolling your eyes you mumble, “Please help me get back to my base camp, Kai.” The elf lets out a cackle before sitting beside you.

His tone softens and he hums, “How about we take care of those injuries first huh?” Huening Kai peers at your forearm before asking, “May I?” Your lips part saying, “Yes,” before your mind can even register it. Fuck, why’d he have to be so attractive?

A smirk laces lips as he takes your wrist into his lap resting your forearm against his thigh. “Bear with me, okay?” You wordlessly nod as his fingers brush against the scrape as he brushes off the dirt.

You murmur, “I did have disinfectant on me, but it’s in my back pack.” He chuckles, “That is indeed a shame, but I think we’ll be alright without it. You know us elves don’t have that chemical liquid stuff?” You hum, “Ah yes, you guys have self-healing properties. You also make use of the medicinal herbs and plants here right? Some species can even manipulate the terrain right?”

He nods with a bright grin, “How knowledgeable. Indeed we can. Though did you know about this?” You let out a small gasp, skin tingling as his fingers press on the injury. “What are you-!”

As he lifts his fingers, the injury is healing with your skin tingling a little. You think you were going to pass out. No way. No fucking way! They could heal others too!? This was unheard of and it would be a remarkable discovery in the current understanding and knowledge of elves. Stammering you ask, “You don’t just self-heal? You can heal other beings too?”

He winks, “Didn’t know that? Thought you humans knew everything.” You murmur, “This is remarkable!” Huening Kai laughs seeing your genuine reaction of awe and sheer surprise. “Here, let’s get done through the rest of your injuries, hm?” You nod in utter shock. His fingers effortlessly glide across your skin as he works his way across the various injuries.

You could feel it; the ever so slight tingle, buzz from his gaze and touch. Though now you didn’t know whether it was from his healing capabilities or the sheer attraction between you two. You’d always made fun of people who got infatuated immediately or had some sort of love at first sight experience but yet here you were. Oh the irony of it all!

“There we go, all healed.” He hums standing up with a happy bounce in his step. Huening Kai peers down at you and outstretches his hand for you to take, “Well? Come on, don’t you want to get back to your camp?”

You smile warmly at him, “Thanks-thank you for taking care of my injuries.” You knew most elves were reclusive when it came to humans so this was a large sign of trust from his end. You grasp his hand as he pulls you to a stand. Your eyes widen as he suddenly pulls you ever so close to him. Your hand lands on his shoulder to balance yourself from the sudden tug.

“Kai?” You stammer as your heart palpitates rapidly. He murmurs, “Your welcome. I couldn’t leave a pretty thing like you to die of infection now could I?” You roll your eyes, “How chivalrous of you.”

His breath fans your face as he playfully leans in closer, “What can I say? I’m a very kind elf. If my other friends and family had stumbled upon you as I did, they’d have left you here to die.” You stiffen slightly, “Oh.”

He chuckles leaning back, “What? Are you scared? It’s not intentional, okay perhaps it is. Us elves don’t really like to interact much with humans. My specific group, are very cautious around humans. We’ve lost a lot of elves through the actions of humans, you know? That’s why I was a little hesitant to help you at first. I had to assess whether you were a threat or not.”

You deadpan, “Am I sufficiently unthreatening enough for you?” He chuckles, “You look like you couldn’t even hurt a fly, forget an elf.”

You realise how he’s not let your hand go. Could he also feel this mystically magical spark between the two of you? You murmur, “Why are you still here? Why are you agreeing to help me so easily? Do you wish for something in return?”

Huening Kai chuckles pleasantly, “These are the right questions to ask, pretty scholar.” Your cheeks warm up and you clear your throat awkwardly.

“I do not seek anything from you. I was just curious. I’ve always wanted to speak with a human like I’m doing now. I find you all fascinating. Though you happen to intrigue me the more I speak and look at you.” He hums with a serene expression. “Really?,” you ask, “Why haven’t you helped other humans before, then?”

He chuckles rubbing his thumb over the back of your hand across your knuckles soothingly. “Who said I haven’t? That’s just your assumption, y/n.” Your name never sounded so lovely. Wait…focus!

“Well, you’re partially right. I’ve not helped them this directly. But I’ve spooked enough humans in the right direction without revealing myself. This is the first time I’ve revealed myself to a human.” He explains. “Follow me, we have to get you back to your camp before it gets dark.”

You joke around, “What? You think I’m scared of the dark? I’ve done plenty of trips in the dark.”

His tone becomes serious, “Oh no, it’s not that. You should be scared of what’s in these woods, not the dark.” You gulp as a pit of nervousness opens within your heart. Noted.

“Dangerous creatures?” You enquire. He nods, “Very. The Fae are particularly active in the evenings, not to mention the vast variety of mystical wildlife. I would think they’d love to get a taste of you.” You glare as you traverse with him, “Very funny, Kai.”

“So how do you plan to get me up back that slope?” You ask. Huening Kai looks at you for a moment before bursting into laughter. “What?,” you ask seriously. “Slope? Ah yes, I forgot to mention, that slope you fell from was a mere illusion.”

“You’re fucking joking.” You yelp.

“Fu-?” He questions. You stiffen slicing in, “Ah- don’t take note of that. Moving on, moving on!” You stammer frantically shaking your hands. You were not going to be the one to expand an elf’s profanity.

He points back to where the slope was and you gasp seeing that the land has morphed. You groan, “This damn forest, is such a nuisance despite how pretty it looks.” Huening Kai grins mischievously, “Yeah, a nuisance for humans, not for me and my kin.”

You sigh; he was right. “Let’s get going then, don’t let go of my hand. I don’t want you tripping and scraping yourself again.” Scoffing you reply, “Thanks, I’ll try not to.”

As you both traverse through the trees you notice how skilfully he’s manoeuvring. Whilst all the surroundings look the same to you, it appears he had a completely different view of the forest than you did. How interesting…

You murmur, “I’m assuming you have a completely different vision of the forest, if you’re guiding me through this easily.” The elf smirks at you, “Very clever. I indeed do. The forest looks very different to us creatures. If this place is gorgeous to you already, if you saw it through my eyes you’d be fainting.” You chuckle, “Wow, that’s fascinating.”

“You seem to like nature, I saw you taking pictures before you tumbled down.” He snickers making you roll your eyes. You step over a log as he continues to hold your hand. “Mhm, I really do. I think it’s beautiful, it makes me feel at ease. The breeze, the birds chirping, the greenery. Just something about it all, is so mesmerising in my eyes,” you murmur in awe of your environment.

Huening Kai looks at you profoundly. You raise a brow, “Hm?” He smiles pleased with your answer, “Your heart is just as pretty as your face, miss researcher.”

You bashfully look away, “No need to flatter me, really.” Squeezing your hand, he responds playfully, “Oh no, no, it’s not mere flattery. The moment I saw you, I thought you were rather attractive. I usually see older more grumpy people visiting here. So I was delighted to see someone so fresh-faced and adorable.”

You scoff, “Ah, so if I was an old grumpy man, you’d have not helped me?” Huening Kai giggles, “Ah, perhaps I’d have been a little more hesitant.” You gasp, “Oh my, how cruel.” You both chuckle.“You seem to be much more interesting than the elven folk, so more alive, not so reliant on their magical capabilities, not so driven by traditions and customs.”

You murmur, “Ah I don’t think your folk are anywhere near as bad as humanity that’s for sure. We still have a lot to learn, and a lot of us are still bound by hateful and discriminatory customs.”

His eyes widen, “Huh? It seems we have rather similar societal problems.” A smirk laces your lips, “Are elves always this philosophical?”

He mirrors your smirk, “Not particularly. We’re a free kind in regards to thought. But restricted in other areas. For example, it being a taboo to talk too much with humans, especially human researchers.”

You peer at him wide-eyed, “Oh? If any of your family or friends see you with me, won’t it cause an issue?” Huening Kai warmly smiles at you his eyes forming crescents, “Don’t you want to get back to your camp?”

You go quiet. Indeed you did. “Yes, I do.” He hums, “Then, that’s where we’re going. Don’t worry about the other elves, I’ll handle them. Unlike them, I’m rather interested in humans. You could say I’m somewhat of a scholar myself. Humans and human civilisation intrigue me incredibly so.” You murmur processing the information, “Don’t you ever want to leave the forest?”

It appears the question hits a nerve as he stops walking momentarily. A bitter chuckle escapes his lips. This was the first time since you’d met him earlier today that he wasn’t smiling. You quickly go to change the subject, “Never mind, let’s-“

He forces a smile onto his lips, “It’s alright. Thank you for your consideration. Honestly speaking, yes, I have always wanted to see beyond the forest. Make friends with the humans. I don’t know, make the most of my life, I suppose.”

You frown, “I suppose it’s not just easy enough to leave.” He shakes his head and gives you a pitiful smile, “I’m bound here, my pretty friend.” Your heart pangs. “Bound?” Nodding he responds, “My particular species of elf are very rare. We are native to this forest unlike the other species of elves.” That explains his undeniably different features. Something you’d never studied before.

“We’re barely seen. Barely heard. If we are captured and taken out of this forest…then we cease to exist. It is the magic of this forest that sustains us.” You stop walking staring into his swirling eyes. A concoction of emotions whirl in his maroon irises. “I’m sorry,” you utter.

Shaking his head he laughs, “For what? No need to pity me. It’s plenty of fun living here. My friends, family are here. There’s plenty of wildlife and critters around to keep me company too. The occasional human I can observe.”

You both begin to walk together again. You feel awfully sad; his bright smile held a bitter sadness, as most smiles in this world do. Sometimes even your own.  “I’m glad,” you pause, “I’m glad you found me, Kai,” you find yourself spouting out the words. He gives your hand a reassuring squeeze, “No need to comfort me.” You smile, you squeezing his hand this time, “No I mean it. You put yourself at risk to help me. Thanks.”

You both peer into each others eyes for a moment of silence. The air around you feels as though it’s buzzing with anticipation. An electrifying attraction simmers between you both. His sharp eyes never leave your own almost making you feel breathless. What was this feeling?

“Has anyone told you how expressive your eyes are?” He murmurs lowly. Peering into his eyes you hum, “I should be saying that to you.” Huening Kai takes a tentative step forward, “Is that so? Why don’t you take a closer look then?” A coy smile forms on your lips, “Mm.. I can see perfectly fine from here.”

His fingers suddenly brush against your arm as he steps forward. “In that case, I think I need to get a better a look at your eyes.” He steps forward as you coyly step backwards before your back hits the bark of a tree. You feel utterly breathless.

“What a pretty human I’ve stumbled upon. Simply endearing in every aspect, from your looks to your mannerisms. You’re so different from the rest.” He hums leaning into your ear. His other arm encases you between him and the tree.

“I have been seeing the way you look at me. My, my and what a gaze it is. It looked like you wanted to swallow me whole.” You mumble slightly embarrassed, “Well, you’re rather good looking, too good looking in fact.” A lopsided smirk forms, “Oh is that right?”

A wave of heat floods through your body with the way his eyes gaze seductively at your face. He’s definitely well aware of what he’s doing. You seem to be at a loss for words as you hold his gaze unable to look away. Whether it was the humidity of the forest or simply him, you didn’t know, but either way you felt flushed, bashful even. 

“Why is it so that you have gone so quiet? Will you punish me so for not letting me hear your voice?” He murmurs inching in even closer. Your mind is barely able to register the proximity between you two. Breathlessly you hum, “Your way with words certainly needs to be studied.” A small laugh releases from his lips, “Mm...why study the way I speak when you can study me in all my entirety?”

A shudder runs down your spine and your eyes follow the way his other hand brushes up against your arm, “You don’t mind do you? I noticed how soft your skin was whilst healing you earlier. Since then, all I’ve wanted to do was touch it.” You have to refrain from releasing a squeak from how nonchalantly he says this. 

Huening Kai inches even closer; his breath fans your face and you can his shimmering skin in a whole new level of detail. His skin glitters and twinkles like distant stars in the night sky. His brown eyes peer into yours with such fervour. Further still, he leans in. “Why not grant me the sweet gift of your lips against mine, pretty scholar? Pretty please..” His voice is just above a whisper making your knees ready to buckle at any given second. 

“Won’t you?” His lips brush against yours ever so delicately. You find yourself murmuring, “Yes.” With that, the handsome elf pushes his lips softly against yours. His lips move in tandem with yours as your fingers slide up to his shoulders to grip and steady yourself. His sharp nose brushes against your cheek and soft groan escapes your lips as he kisses you softly yet passionately. The building tension of your mutual attraction was being undone as though pulling a tied ribbon of a gift box. 

Breathlessly, he parts from you allowing you to get a second to breathe. The both of you stare at each other, pupils dilated and breathing ever so slightly heavy. Your lips tingle ever so slighty, perhaps the side effect of kissing a magical being such as himself. Damn, it was fantastic. You wanted more; you wanted more of him, all of him. His lips, his gaze seemed like an aphrodisiac making your senses go haywire. 

A smirk laces his lips, “So awe-struck that you’re at a loss for words? How endearing. Surely it couldn’t have been all that different from your human experiences, no?” Shaking your head, you respond, “Oh you have no idea...” A chuckle escapes his lips; his face painted with amusement. He peers at the sky, small tints of pink and orange hues begin to appear. 

“Ah, I wished to get you to your camp before it got dark.” His dark eyes peer at you deeply, “It seems I let my attraction get the better of me.” Murmuring, you say, “I’m not exactly complaining.” He laughs once more whilst running his thumb over the back of your hand, “Cute, so you’d be content to be stranded here as long as you’re in my arms, hm?” You hum mischeviously, “Well...”

Sighing, you continue, “...as magical an experience this was. I..I need to get back. I have family and friends waiting for me.” You find yourself frowning. His lips hum, “Indeed you do. It would be tragic for you to go missing. I’d not want you to experience such pain.” You smile sadly at him, What on earth was this sense of not wanting to leave? Why were you so drawn to him? You had only just met yet he had such an influence on you. His alluring gaze, his way with words, the sweet nothings that dripped from his lips and his tingling touches. 

He leans back still not letting go of your hand, “Let’s get going, hm? There’s many creatures in these woods that would love to mess with you or even keep a pretty thing like you all to themselves, you know?” You awkwardly chuckle, “Right, right. Best to keep moving.” 

Once more, you both begin walking hand in hand. You notice the plants begin to illuminate and glow as the sky grows dimmer. It’s incredible. You peer at Huening Kai who guides you with ease, a smile rests on his face. You were lucky to find a kind elf and not some other supernatural creature, such as the Fae. A sense of melancholy fills your heart, you knew after reaching your base camp, it was not likely you’d ever see him again. You wanted more of him, to hear more of his tempting words and his stimulating touch. You didn’t want to be away from him. 

The walk resumes in a unexpectedly tense silence. You find yourself having a difficult time keeping track of direction and time. All you could focus on was Huening Kai. He was your anchor in this sea of forest. He hums, “We’re almost there. Do you see the smoke rising through the canopy?” You peer up as see in the near distance, rising smoke. It must be your camp, by now you knew they’d be preparing for dinner. As you continue walking, your heart aches and you feel your legs becoming sluggish. You don’t remember your camp being this far away, despite this, you knew not to question the magical and illusory properties of Deep Grove Forest. 

“Kai..” You speak before your mind can even register. He turns to look over shoulder at you. Once again you murmur, “...Kai..” Your eyelids feel incredibly heavy. His lips still smile pleasantly at you, “Oh my, y/n, are you tired?” You grunt trying to pry your eyes open. You feel hazy, almost fuzzy inside. His fingers intertwined between yours now feel electrifying. 

He softly cooes, “We’re almost back at your base camp. Just around a few more minutes away. Don’t you want to get back?” You struggle to form a coherent sentence resorting to shaking your head. 

Huening Kai’s eyes become sly with the same ethereal smile plastered on his face. He steps closer as he realises your balance was faltering. He places a tentative arm around your waist steadying you. “Shaking your head? You don’t want to get back? You were so determined to get back earlier, no?”

“Mm...don’t...wanna..,” you mumble dazed. His brows raise and he pleasantly hums, “Hm?” His tone had become sugary sweet. You continue as you lean your head into his chest, “...leave..” His lips form a sinful smile, “What was that? You don’t want to leave? Oh you precious human, what about your family? Your friends?” 

You shake your head not wishing to acknowlege anything. You were fading in and out of consciousness as your body buzzes with an unknown feeling as he wrapped his arms around you. A mischievious tone laces his voice, “Poor thing, all this trekking must have made you so tired, hm?” You nod. You nuzzle into his neck taking in his earthy scent; it was almost floral in a sense. He smelt divine. 

His fingers trace along your jaw and he cups your cheek, “Surely you don’t wish to simply stay with me here, forever, hm? That would be ridiculous. We’ve only just met, hm?” You shake your head as your eyes shut embracing his addictive body heat. A chuckle not so airy and bright as before escapes his lips. “How endearing, you humans are.” 

You remain quiet as drowsiness morphs into unconsciousness. He holds you as if you were fragile glass. A delighted smile graces his pretty lips. The same lips that spew the most magically tempting words, sweet nothings that can make anyone and anything melt. His touch that can send any species into a frenzy. 

Oh, how much he loved this game. 

He peers at your base camp in the near distance, perhaps if your psyche had put up more of a fight, you’d have made it back to your camp. It was a mere few steps away, after all. He was not going to be one to stop you going back home. He would merely call it misfortune, if you did. Huening Kai wasn’t much of a fan of violence or force unlike the other supernatural creatures here. 

How darling of you to succumb of your own will. It made things easier for him, such a pretty human for him to study to his heart’s content. It was his most successful venture yet. He could expand his knowlege and understanding of the workings of humans. Perhaps he could study the way they are suited to the outside world beyond this forest?

Your poor colleague must be frantically searching, though Huening Kai must be sure if he didn’t find his way back to his camp in time, then something else would find him.

Huening Kai peers down at your sleeping face; how serene it is. He murmurs smiling, “You pretty thing, don’t you know how to be cautious? I did say there’s many dangerous creatures in the forest who would just...love to have you.”

If only you had listened to your colleague and stayed put, perhaps you’d not have fallen down that imaginary slope and into the world of the elves.

Perhaps you’d now be sitting by the camp fire going through the photos on your camera wondering what was beyond the clearing blissfully.

[alexanderwales]

Adapting Worth the Candle into a Pixar Movie

Worth the Candle is 1.6 million words and covers a lot of characters, themes, and events. The average Pixar movie is around 90 minutes.

How would you stuff one into the other?

The first answer is that you wouldn't, obviously. But that's boring, so I'm going to try to game out how I would attempt it, if I had to, mostly as a writing exercise that involves stretching the planning/plotting muscles. This post will spoil most of the story, in the same way an adaptation would, while also missing like 99% of what actually happens in the story.

We start with a scene of Juniper playing some tabletop game with his friends. His friend Arthur is introduced. This is a short scene, maybe of their first game together, and then we immediately go into montage, showing the character sheets stacking up, the book collection growing, the endless campaign notes, all that visual story-telling passage-of-time goodness. Some of the other players rotate, but Juniper is always there at the head of the table, behind an increasingly tattered screen, and Arthur is always by his side.

Then we have another scene where someone wants to start without Arthur, and Juniper says "no, no, he'll be here, he's never late", and he gets a phone call, and we see his eyes widen, and then we go to another montage of time passing, this one showing the world darkened, the same game table, the seats slowly emptying as more and more people drop out, until it's just Juniper alone. We see behind his screen, images that evoke his pain and anger, plans for a game that no one wants to play, and Arthur's empty chair beside him.

I think for pacing reasons you probably have to draw out the next bits, but Juniper walks home alone in the rain, feeling worse and worse, maybe with some portents of what's to come around him, until eventually he finds himself in the fantasy world.

We're now five to ten minutes in, depending on just how fast we've been going. (This is close to being the beginning of Up, I am aware of that and absolutely fine with cribbing from one of the greatest movie openings of all time for this exercise.)

Juniper quickly meets Amaryllis, she's in trouble, we probably use a different exclusion zone from in the book, there are monsters to fight, they fight those monsters in an action scene, hardly pausing for breath. Juniper recognizes the monsters, they're from one of his campaigns, and if we don't trust the audience, we can have him say that or directly flashback, but presumably this was something from the montage. Eventually the fighting ends, Amaryllis introduces herself, and Juniper is just obsessed with her name, because that's the name of one of Arthur's longest-running characters.

After that, our first act is them getting out of the exclusion zone, past the monsters. Juniper proves himself at least once by knowing things that he shouldn't, domain expertise, how to defeat the evil things. We get the story of how Uther, the lost king, went away and never came back, and Juniper becomes determined to find him. Amaryllis does too, mostly because her country is in dire straits. They meet up with Fenn, a half-elf who provides comic relief. The end of the first act comes when they're in relative safety, in Anglecynn, with Amaryllis in disguise, hiding from her relatives.

Most of the second act is a single adventure, like we're highly truncating a million words of bumbling around the world into maybe thirty minutes of runtime. My copy of Save the Cat suggests that on the beat sheet this is where "Fun and Games" portion comes in, so we have Juniper use his foreknowledge to understand the layout of the castle, the nature of the magic, etc. to prove his worth. We're going for a "false high point" here, in Save the Cat terms. They've got the gang together! They're doing adventure stuff! It goes off without a hitch! Any seeming setbacks were all part of the plan! Fenn gets a cool magic hat!

And then whatever MacGuffin they've stolen points them in one single spot: Fel Seed. Of all the dark and scary things that were on Juniper's DM screen in that opening montage, this is the darkest and scariest of them all. Juniper has to explain that he ... well, he made some things. Not monsters that were set up to be knocked down, not a castle that was meant for a heist, not a cool hat, something that was evil, something that was not meant to be beaten. Rocks fall, everyone dies.

But they go ahead anyway, pressing forward after, maybe, a speech by Amaryllis about doing the necessary thing, not just stopping because it all feels lost and hopeless.

So they go, and they fight, and they lose, and all hope seems lost, until Juniper throws down his sword and gives his own speech, about how this isn't what it's supposed to be, how his friendship at the table was about creating a story together, about setting up a villain to be knocked down, and then Fel Seed looks at the sword that's been cast aside, and says that it's not enough, that if you want to win you have to fight. So Juniper fights and wins.

And then Juniper finds Arthur, who is middle-aged and a fearsome warrior, and we do a highly abbreviated Long Stairs thing, Arthur trying to escape this world and its cycles, pushing on forward in spite of Juniper's objections. I would really want to have another montage similar to the opening ones, where Arthur describes what life was like, how the adventures ground him down, how it felt like he was being urged forward all the time, pushed when he felt like standing still. Like there was some Juniper up above who wanted to keep playing, who wouldn't let go.

I do think this comes off more deathist than in the original. Uther's not trying to escape life, he's trying to escape narrative, or more than that, to escape his life as an object of worship. This is definitely an execution problem, especially because we have like ... maybe 20 minutes to spend on this. I think it's doable though, especially with flashback, a long sequence showing Uther's life.

And then Uther is gone, and all the hopes of restoring the kingdom to its former glory with him, and Amaryllis slumps down, because this was her shot at fixing the fractious fighting. But Juniper offers her his hand, because he's at peace now, and he's going to do what he feels like he's always done best: build things, side by side, with her.

(And then we imply that this goes better than we naively think it should, maybe because of Juniper's detailed knowledge of the world, or his superior ability to adventure.)

Alright, I think that's it.

There are some obvious issues. Runtime is probably fine, but I did not actually fill out my Blake Snyder Beat Sheet, so there would be a lot of work to turn this into an actual script ... which I might do just because I told myself that this would be the year that I write a movie script.

Also, I cut your favorite part and hacked away at some of the themes you liked. Sorry about that. There's no Bethel, no Raven, no Maddie, no Grak ... though I actually do like the idea of a Grak that is more beard than anything else, a quirky side character that's mostly silent, since it does seem like we'd want to fill out the team in the second act. This is disrespectful to the vision of Grak as a character, which I find funny. But the list of things that are getting removed is very very long, I acknowledge this, and there are entire themes, mechanics, etc. that are being slashed.

And of the things that aren't getting slashed, some of them are getting sanded down. You cannot depict Fel Seed as he is in the books in a big budget animated movie, because if you did, the movie would not make its money back. You can't have a scene where your protagonist ejaculates into an elf's mouth. Sorry, just not possible with standards and practices, in a world where this was even remotely possible to get made. The very inclusion of a "handjob police" joke in the book would probably preclude this movie from ever getting made, even if that was nowhere in the script, to say nothing of the other elements.

Still, I think this is sort of what you would need to do for this extreme of an adaptation. I think that as a movie this could work. I also think it would be highly dependent on execution, as most things are, finding an art style that works, hitting all the beats correctly, making sure the writing is very very polished and that we have continuity going forward and backward, callbacks and call forwards and brick jokes.

At least as a quick half-hour exercise, I think I am happy with the plan as outlined here. This was not created for purpose, just because I thought it would be interesting. If you're trying to rescue a core story that can be told in 90 minutes, pulled from a sprawling web serial, I think this is how you do it.

[felassan]

DRAGON AGE: SOUNDTRACK 4LP BOX SET - DISC 4 SIDE A (BONUS DLC TRACKS) 1. I AM THE ONE (DARK FANTASY VERSION) [DRAGON AGE: ORIGINS] (4:10) 2. MAIN THEME [DAI DESCENT DLC] (2:58) 3. AFTERMATH [DAI DESCENT DLC] (1:29) 4. DARK SOLAS THEME [DAI TRESPASSER DLC] (3:01) 5. QUNARI ATMOSPHERE [DAI TRESPASSER DLC] (2:41) 6. LOST ELF THEME [DAI TRESPASSER DLC] (3:58) 7. D'READ KODA (1:08) [HIDDEN TRACK]

I find the arrangement of the tracks on Disc 4 Side A "Bonus DLC Tracks" in the Dragon Age OST vinyl interesting. it's called "Bonus DLC Tracks" but the first track it features is "I Am The One (Dark Fantasy Version)", which isn't from DLC, it's from basegame DA:O, and ofc the last track is new. this disc is the only one of the discs to include songs from multiple games (and not even just two, but three: DA:O, DA:I and DA:D, assuming that "D'Read Koda" is from or tied to DA:D). and the order the Trespasser tracks are included in is different to the order they appear in on the Trespasser OST, at least going by the Trevor Morris album (on there it's Dark Solas Theme, Lost Elf Theme, Qunari Atmosphere). I wanna say that the way it was arranged was intentional, like the specific arrangement of the tracks on this disc is like hinting at telling a sort of a story or a tease. he's lost, and then things come to an end (his story and.. something else?). a passage of music that brings the music to a close (coda), that brings a piece or movement to an end. I think of when Flemythal said

Alas, so long as the music plays, we dance.

and when Solas said

 I walk the dinan'shiral. There is only death on this journey. [death is an end, and it can be a metaphor for the end of something too]

my eye is also drawn to:

I am the One (Dark fantasy version) [...] Dark Solas theme

especially since there's a different version of I Am The One ("High fantasy version") that could have gone in there instead (which as the second song on the DA:O OST, the high fantasy version is more of a 'where this all began' song).

the idea that "I Am The One" is about Solas/Fen'Harel and what happened in ancient Elvhenan (and what his intention is in the future) is a common fan theory, and not a new one. [link to English translation of the lyrics] the lyrics could be applied to a lot of things, or nothing at all, but back then there was a war (both within the Evanuris and one they fought before that), a divide between the gods, the sky was held back/there was great destruction when the Veil was raised (but despite that there was a flicker of hope in that the elves were freed from the Evanuris), the nature of time for the ancient elves was changed (elven immortality/mortality), he references the potential for the world now to burn in the raw chaos if he succeeds, In Your Heart Shall Burn/From The Ashes etc. he ended up being one of the only survivors who lived on from the event and fears dying alone, is one of the only elves in modern Thedas who remembers, he's asked for and turned to for guidance at various points (Lasa ghilan / Ma ghilana mir din'an / Ma ghilana, vhenan / Fen'Harel ma ghilana), he believes he's the only one who can fix it now in the modern day, etc.

listening again to D'Read Koda, the echo-y, pulsing aspect and how it rises to a crescendo reminds me of the music in the Dread Wolf Rises teaser (which is still such a banger). and the discordant notes remind me of the same here and here in the 2020 trailer music. the 'discordant note' hook is also present here in the in-game cinematic (also at the start and throughout it sort of underpinning it), and the general ominous atmosphere of the 'koda' also echoes that of the various bits of music we've heard in trailers and the in-game cinematic before.

anyways, since I don't have a vinyl player I made the tracks as a lil playlist for myself on Spotify and have been listening to that then playing one of the videos with the D'Read Koda audio in it (since ofc it isn't on Spotify rn) to have the same effect, and it's interesting.

[from-the-coffee-shop-in-edoras]

Talking about my beloved Háma earlier this week got me thinking again about how Beregond is the Háma of Gondor. One of the ways Tolkien showed us how bound together Gondor and Rohan were as countries was by drawing explicit parallels between individual Gondorians and Rohirrim (like Boromir and Théodred), and it happens for everyone's favorite guards, too. They have some differences (I mean, Háma dies 😭), but they’re much more alike than not. 

Most importantly, they’re both soldiers—part of a very hierarchical, duty-bound structure—who nonetheless decide in key moments to disregard orders and follow their own judgment and good sense instead. Háma will let Gandalf violate the ban on weapons in Meduseld and Beregond will leave his post and literally slay anyone facilitating the burning of Faramir because their hearts and minds tell them that sometimes laws must be broken in service of a larger morality. That takes courage, independence of thought, and a strong sense of self. By disobeying, they both knowingly risk punishment—and, indeed, both are punished—but they do it anyway because they know it’s right. And ultimately, both are forgiven and honored because everyone can see they made correct, if unlawful, decisions. (This parallel is also replicated a little further up the respective hierarchies because Éomer and Faramir are also both noted mavericks who choose at pivotal moments to aid members of the Fellowship even though, by law, those outsiders should be arrested or killed. So, again, parallels between pairs of Gondorians and Rohirrim abound!)

I like that Tolkien takes care to show that it’s not just the folks at the very top of communities of Men that can have and display these really admirable and noble traits. It’s important for there to be a Háma and a Beregond so that we know these lands of Men are worth protecting—there is goodness there! And of course it fits very neatly with the “small hands do great deeds” theme of LOTR overall. Háma and Beregond each change the course of history when they trust to their own worth and hold to their own values, no matter the circumstances or consequences.

So that’s the biggest/weightiest parallel for Háma and Beregond, but it’s certainly not the only one. They both work for prestigious military units in the capital city of their countries. They both play formal roles in granting our major characters access to those cities. They’re both firsthand witnesses to the mental manipulation and torment of their leaders (Théoden and Denethor) by an enemy. They both get joyful moments witnessing the healing of a beloved lord. They’re both Gandalf enthusiasts in places where not everyone respects or welcomes Gandalf’s presence. They both demonstrate a willingness to draw swords on anyone they perceive as threatening their lords. They’re both pretty adept at rolling with it when things take a really weird turn (I mean, really, the legendary lost heir of Elendil shows up on Háma’s doorstep claiming to be friends with a mythical elf-sorceress, and he just goes with it. And Beregond has never seen a hobbit before and maybe isn’t even sure they’re real when one is thrust on him, and he immediately makes Pip his buddy!). 

Those are the canon parallels, but I would be remiss if I didn’t finish by specifying that @brigwife and I agree it is rock solid head canon that Háma and Beregond met somehow and became actual long distance best friends. It’s only natural that they’d get along given how much they have in common—just two absolute gems of the race of Men who would totally love and appreciate one another. And I’d like to think that even as Háma’s legacy is commemorated at his resting place in Rohan, there’s also a little memorial for him in Gondor built by Beregond in a beautiful, peaceful part of Ithilien. During Beregond’s lifetime it stands as a tribute to his enduring friendship with Háma, and in later days, when anyone who knew them is gone, it stands instead as a tribute to the enduring friendship of Gondor and Rohan.

[changeling-fae]

Gave my unicorn Tav, Iluatria (Lua for short), an update. I'm a The Last Unicorn hoe.

Her lore:

Lua was a unicorn who lived on the coast before an old dying wizard made a deal with a sea hag to capture her so he could force her into healing him and giving him more life.

He went to the local sea hag and had her help him capture and transform Lua (wild unicorns are notoriously difficult to capture otherwise). It worked obviously, but he betrayed the hag and killed her (who cursed him to be killed by his own folly soon enough, aka Lua).

He basically had her captured Calliope style in the Sandman, trying to persuade/intimidate/force her to give him power but she refused because it’s not something that can be taken. He gets drunk one night and tries to take it by force (by sawing her horn off which would kill her) and she instead impales him with her horn.

She then returns to where her sisters and brothers are like “hey, help me turn back” but then they said they can’t and that’s when Selûne is like “actually I’m going to need you to investigate Moonrise/the Absolute cult that’s forming and then I can turn you back”, so then Lua is forced to investigate which is then when she gets captured and tadpoled.

Since the gods were already sending their clerics and agents to check out what’s happening, Selûne would be like “actually this works in our favor for a bit” and is taking advantage of the situation.

I imagine Lua got nerfed a bit when she was transformed, then the tadpole nerfed her the rest of the way.

She knows she’s a unicorn (horn makes it obvious) but her memories of her life as a unicorn are starting to fade and the more connections she makes in her new form, the more she loses her old self. I’m using it as a form of meta too, since Tav is such a blank slate and feels like they didn’t exist before the events of the game, this is my meta of her literally being a new person.

She’s old, like older than Raphael old, but since I’m stealing so much from TLU, to quote Prince Lir, “she has a newness”.

She was a unicorn under the service of Selûne specifically, and she helped guide sailors and lost souls home along the coast. Keeping with the sea and navigation themes.

She’s not only trying to remove the tadpole but also trying to return to form before she “loses herself” forever. But of course she makes connections and once she and Astarion fall for each other, it’s when she has to make a decision. His spawn route is him deciding to try living again with his old self dead and buried, and with her it’ll be deciding to let her old self die as well.

She doesn't get on with Gale at first because she thinks wizards are selfish and power hungry but over time they become friends and they have interesting discussions around magic.

Right now her goal is “yes, I want to go back, this form is unnatural and torture” but she’ll start to develop an independent sense of self that starts to overtake her old self.

She’ll always have natural grace and beauty, but that ethereal otherworldliness will disappear over time.

While she's in this form she can feel her immortality and old self fade and it horrifies her but once she falls in love with Astarion she eventually comes to accept her new life. My end goal is at the end of the game, she chooses to use what's left of her powerful unicorn healing magic to cure Astarion of his vampirism. Her horn disappears and she's made fully mortal (as an elf) and they live their new lives together.

It's a cheesy idea but Selûne takes their souls (since Corellon won’t have him), and then they get reincarnated as unicorns. They’re essentially new people again, the way reborn souls are, but they find each other again and mate for life once more. And now he gets to be a unicorn; wild beauty, grace, and never again tamed too.

It’s super romantic and cheesy but sometimes I be a sucker for that.

And I do like the idea that Astarion, (who he himself and most people see as used, dirty, and corrupted), is actually seen as worthy enough and loved by a being in universe as pure as they come. And there’s an innocence in his passion for life that would attract her.

[thegreatandpowerfulversy]

My overactive writerbrain is doing its thing again, taking the two most recent things I've been into and smashing them together into a bizarre crossover that still, somehow, inexplicably works.

This time, it's Worm and the Silmarillion. Specifically, I'm thinking about how there are three Silmarils, and three main Endbringers, and both of these groups of three things are themed around land, sea, and sky. So, naturally... what if they're directly related?

Imagine the distant future of Arda, maybe not quite to the third act of the Music of the Ainur, but getting close to it. It is the age of Men and Aftercomers, the younger Children of Ilúvatar who have never so much as seen an elf, who live and die and pass not into the Halls of Mandos but into some other, hidden place beyond Eä to await what is to come. The Valar keep to themselves in the west, Melkor was cast out and Sauron defeated, and none in Middle Earth Bet even remember the legends of the Two Trees and their Light, or the terrible Oath sworn to reclaim its last glimmers from any who would dare to keep them.

But even in this time, the Silmarils still exist, somewhere. Maybe someone delves and/or swims too greedily and too deep, or maybe Men advance their technology and look outward to the stars. But someone, somewhere, encounters something they shouldn't, and the time of kinslayings begins again.

Maedhros and his Silmaril were lost into a fiery chasm, deep within the earth. Even without their masters, the balrogs and dragons and the rest of Melkor's designs still lurk and work their evils. It is not just the greed born of Fëanor's oath that corrupts him, but external powers too, until nothing elflike remains and Maedhros becomes a hulking Behemoth tunneling through the bowels of the world, always chasing a spark that the currents of magma will never let him reach.

Maglor cast his Silmaril into the sea. But the sea is Ulmo's domain, and Maglor swore an oath to pursue the jewels even should the hands that hold them be a vala's. Whether he regrets his action or not, the Oath compels him to swim after the Silmaril, and it drives him to swim ever faster and harder and better, streamlining away everything he used to be until all that remains is a powerhouse of water itself, a Leviathan who carries the ocean in his wake as he circles the world and assails the coastlines where his prize might briefly have been.

Eärendil took a Silmaril into the sky, never to touch down again, never to let himself be seen except as a passing star to those below. He swore no Oath, and can keep the Silmaril rather than chase it endlessly, but in so keeping he finds within the knowledge and cunning of the Noldor, and a perspective from high above so foreign to the mortals who walk the earth. With the Light upon his brow, borne forever on the wings of Varda, he becomes the legendary firebird, the Simurgh, ever watching the lives below with a sense of duty to intervene and to keep the world's development along the path he knows is right. ...And also she transes her gender at some point, I guess.

But someone, somewhere, encounters something they shouldn't: perhaps Melkor returned to Eä, or another Ainu who neglected to join the creation after the visions from Ilúvatar but who enters now, late, like Ungoliant or Bombadil before them. Some catalyst alights upon the world and brings forth power and light, kindling conflict first for conflict's sake alone.

And sometimes, a volcano will send forth a brilliant spark to see the surface world once again, and for a while it travels from hand to bloodier hand, until the Behemoth emerges in an attempt at its recapture, and the Light sinks again in its wake. Sometimes, another jewel will wash up on the shores, ever followed by the Leviathan who lays waste to coastal cities, even sending floods upriver where the Silmaril has been traded inland. And through it all, the Simurgh sings what she can recall of Elwing's song, distorted with every new century passed until it brings only madness to all who hear. The Simurgh, too, is mad from it, but cannot cease, and her once well-meaning interventions in mortal affairs are turned quickly to the new power's ends.

...I don't have a plot or anything, this is just a vague concept based on a random connection my brain made and wouldn't leave me alone until I wrote it down. Anyone is welcome to take the setting and run with it if you want, flesh it out a bit more, while I have plenty of other wips already that I should be writing.

[toastedclownery]

Here they are! The sillies!!

They're a group of fantasy misfits and outlaws, each trying to escape from something. They all cross paths and become a found family in a story I have in my head but they mostly just vibe in there.

Closeups and info about each of them under this

Angel Goodsprout

A fairy traveling around the world and exploring herself after escaping a magical, astral themed cult. Having been part of a pyramid scheme her whole life, unaware of her situation, made her optimistic, hardworking and considerate, but then again also naive and a people pleaser. She's a very powerful magic user but the leader of the cult put a spell on her so she can only use her powers when the sun is out.

Isaac Graves

A human disguised as a warlock traveling elf and magic territory, where humans are generally unwelcome, looking for his lost brother. He fakes having magic of his own using the special properties of plants and potions. He's cunning and emotionally shut-off but is very protective of those he cares about. Maybe bit overbearing, even. His good heart made him earn the trust of a mischievous little fire spirit.

Jasper char Elvenstone

A young elf who uses his extraordinary archery skills as an assassin. He can be pretty immature, making bad decisions like joining a gang, but also paradoxically he also acts too old for his age, thinking that doing these things will serve as vengeance for the loss of his family. He's impulsive, and cocky, and bold, but overall a good kid that's just misguided.

"Mae"

A creature of origin so ancient it has been lost to time, Mae is an old witch doctor with a keen interest in the bridge between life and death, among magic and non-magic beings. They're basically escaping death playing god with their own soul and giving themselves a very long lifespan. They are morbidly curious, a bit scatterbrained, and outright unpredictable. However they grow fond of the group and decide to stay around.

Felix Graves

Ran away from his small-minded human hometown to achieve his dream of becoming a great inventor. An expert on mechanics and a lover of astronomy, he studies the magical properties of stars and constellations to use as power for his machines. He wants to make use of his talent to help people, but he's very awkward when trying to show it. He's quiet and self-contained, and usually deadpan and brutally honest when talking to others.

Selene Noir

Another refugee of the astral cult, her magical powers are limited to work only when the moon is out. Unlike Angel, she was skeptical of the cult's methods, and her rebellious nature got her in trouble. Even after escaping, she stays distrustful of the people around her, and she struggles making close connections with others. Alternatively she is very good at manipulating and scamming, so she makes a business selling overpriced magic weapons for non-magics.

[chameleonspell]

HTDC commentary - 0: intro

Recently, I made some unwise threats to write commentary on my almost-10-year-old Morrowind fic, and enough people encouraged me that I started going through my old notes, and re-reading the fic, something I hadn't done in more than five years. It's an interesting experience, looking at it with more emotional distance. I know I had none, at the time, riding a chaotic wave of complicated feelings and ideas that my brain had, for whatever reason, decided to force through the medium of Morrowind fanfiction, like trifle through a straw.

Why did I start doing that, again? 

"A combination of worsening social anxiety, rereading Pratchett novels, listening to the Magnetic Fields, and then starting a new Morrowind game" - Origins of the fic, according to me in May 2015.

It is true that by 2015, my social anxiety was becoming increasingly unmanageable. I used to wake up seized with immediate terror, if I knew I had to leave the house, that day. When I did leave it, the feeling of moving through the world under the eyes of strangers was enough to send me into deep dissociation, barely feeling like my surroundings were real, forgetting words, reduced to speechlessly stumbling around like an automaton.

Or like a video game character. I started a new game of Morrowind that spring. I'd already played it for thousands of hours, but I wanted to try a pure mage, and had a few mods to make it a bit more viable. An illusion mage, maybe, like a thief build, but using magic.

I'd been thinking a lot about invisibility, you see. Well... fantasising about it, but I'd done that since I was tiny. Thinking about it as an adult, surely there would be drawbacks, if you lived in a world where that was actually possible? Or, like... psychological complications?

On March 12th, 2015, Terry Pratchett died. Despite not having touched a book of his since my teens, it hit me like a tonne of bricks. I cried for a week, feeling like I'd lost my dad, talking with other grieving fans about how his books had shaped us, growing up, realising just how true that was.

I started re-reading the Discworld series again, immersing myself in that slightly arch but very warm and human narrative style. It felt so familiar, so natural, so easy to start narrating my Morrowind game like that.

And I already had a voice in my head, for a character, emerging from all the Magnetic Fields albums I'd been listening to. Intelligent, queer, bitter, disillusioned, depressive, detatched, self-aware - but not in any way that seems to, y'know, help. The Stephin Merritt Protagonist, basically. I'll probably mention more specific song inspirations from the big HTDC playlist as we go, but for now, Iriel's opening theme: Smoke and Mirrors. Anti-love songs for jilted illusion mages.

The culmination of all this was, that instead of seeking professional advice about my mental problems, I gave them to a fictional elf, instead. Thereby delaying me addressing my brain problems by several years, but bringing me several (I hope) lifelong friends, and, well. This fucking thing. No regrets!

I posted the first HTDC chapter on 5 April 2015 and the next dozen chapters very quickly thereafter, so I must have had quite a few already written before I decided to shove them all onto a hastily-created tumblr account.

I found a title just as quickly: How to Disappear Completely. Named less for the Radiohead song of the same name (though it does describe the experience of dissociation and has a line about walking through walls!), and more from my dim memory of reading a Radiohead interview, where Thom Yorke mentioned the book he'd stolen the song title from: How to Disappear Completely and Never Be Found, which has always stuck in my head, as a phrase. It fitted with my dim concept of the fic: what if invisibility, but too much? Later, I realised it fitted with the Dwemer as well, and felt extremely smug.

A song reference for a title is such a fanfic cliché, not to mention the lowercase one-word chapter titles. I was fine with all that. I was always committed to HTDC as a very self-indulgent project, thus the new pseudonym, separate from the rest of my online life, never mind my offline one. No audience, no embarrassment, no holding back.

A comfort project, no need to make much effort, just something silly and easy and fun.

lol.

lmao.

It started that way, I swear.

It devoured nearly 3 years of my life, ended up 40 times longer than my university dissertation, and, honestly, was 40 times the work, too.

It's far from perfect, but it's as good as I could make it at the time. It was a ride and a half to write, I learned a lot, and pushed myself to write in ways that were new to me. Over the years since, I've had people say it's meant a lot to them. Thank you, it means a lot to me, too.

next: 1: numb

[daemon-in-my-head]

7 and 9 for the new ask, hit me w/ those genesis stories ✌️

Thank u sm for asking! Don't mind if I do (though this might get very fucked up at some point, just a heads up lol)

7. Is their personal story represented in their overall design? Do they carry any mental scars or physical alterations from the shit that happened to them?

Yes, so goddamn much. Essentially every 'milestone' in his life is in some way represented in his visual design and most definitely in his behaviour.

He's got the scar on his cheek/nose from the time before Bhaal, or more specifically from getting his ass handed to him in training sessions to join a Paladin order. And well seeing how he is a Sorcadin, yeah the training did work out longterm too. The change to red eyes was a result of the urge fully manifesting and the pallid/sickly pale skin is the result of prolonged exposure to the shadow curse. He pretty much looks sick and not the way an elf should, cuz arguably, he isnt, is he? He was someone artifically created, someone whos majorly fucked up and his mental health is rotting in that corner over there, so he looks that part (bonus he uses the only sorcery type that can be artifically learned as opposed to normal sorcery that is always passed down.)

Overall he's gained a lot more scars over his time, his hair started growing lighter before he got white streaks/completely white hair due to the stress of simply existing in that way. And while his original eye colour kinda returns, it's only for one eye. Cuz even if ya redeem yourself, being created from bhaals flesh and essence kinda prevents you from wholly getting rid of him, so one eye remained red. Which he eventually gauged out cuz yeah that man is 1000% definitely sane and learned how to cope with his emotions properly. The remaining eye is also pretty fucked up thx to Orins homemade lobotomy, which honestly was pretty important to me cuz yeah he survived the story, survived bhaal, but it fucked him up and left very permanent scars he'll have to learn how to deal with (but he won't.)

The struggles with his past, his own existence and his own contradictory nature are very apparent in his design as well as his behaviour and it was important to me that he's that way fucked up failure kinda guy. Also the fact that you can't go thru the shit he had to endure and come out of it looking the same or being the same. He's bruised, quite broken, definitely lost most of his sanity but he did get to reclaim some agency and some parts of the person that was seemingly eradicated when Bhaal first took over. Life changes you, time changes you, and if you're a Bhaalspawn shit usually grows worse with time, so it makes sense his looks also grow from pretty boy to broken doll and that his controlled nature grows more unstable with time and experience (cuz ya can't loose basically everyone you ever held just a sliver of affection for and come out of it being cool, that mans obsession just grow exponentially worse).

Tldr; very fucked up man, physically and mentally a rep of struggle with your own mind and being a broken child ig. Loss and grief and the unavoidable change resulting from it as overarching themes and I wanted them to show in every way possible.

9. How much did Bhaal influence their design or personality in the end? Did you research lore to purposefully get the resemblance or do you just go with the flow and what feels right for the story you want to tell?

I'd never spend hours researching Bhaalist lore, naaaaah, who do u think I am....? He usually wears the priests robes. Straight up.

But cuz he's a rebellious little fuck the look is messy, with 1 sleeve just hanging from the belt that's barely tying the purple cloth together. Whenever he's not wearing that it's just simple black clothes and an old coat he brought from 'home' or fancy shit (though white/red colour scheme to contrast Gortash) whenever he needs to drag himself to deal with the patriars.

As for personality, oh boy. He loves Bhaal. Truly. Bhaal is his creator, his father, the reason he exists. And he absolutely loathes him because he's the reason for all the pain and suffering he needed to endure. He controlls him like a puppet and forces him to discard even the tiniest bit that's left of his person, but even so Bhaal is also the only reason he got to enjoy the youth he had and meet the people he met. Without him he may have never come to exist in this time period. Every choice he makes can be traced back to this twisted mindset. He's worshipping Bhaal while actively rebelling against him

I will one day get to finishing a ref! Maybe.

[margridarnauds]

How did you name Kitrye?

Signed,

Someone who is considering playing as an elf but doesn't know how to name an elf.

You have no idea what you did by asking this because it's one of those examples of me vibrating for months to explain why I made a choice I made.

A lot of the DND books that are focused on a given race will give you example names to work with, but, personally, that isn't an option I've ever taken. A little known Thing with me is that, when I'm naming characters, I am pretty much always very, very specific. Even if it's information that won't come up, naming a character is a big part of characterization for me.

So, I went here -- Not as canon as I'd have liked, but, given it's DND, it's as canon as I could get. And I looked at various options, but "Kitrye" was what I went for in the end, because it meant "Half." And it worked on multiple levels, first was that it highlights the sort of person Kitrye's mother is, that she would just give her the name "Half", second of all that it's something that other Drow can note and comment on if they want (even if Kitrye can ALMOST pass as a relatively pale full Drow, her name + eyes give her away), and third of all that it highlights the theme of duality that was always meant to be embedded in Kitrye's story arc. I went through a couple of designs for her in the early game, including one where she would have half white/half black hair, which was meant to be a very, very imperceptibly slight nod of inspiration to the goddess Hel from Norse Mythology, which ultimately ended up in her current design, which lost that idea of black/white duality but still has a lot of black highlights in it despite looking very silvery on the surface. I wanted to add a lot of death motifs to her at the beginning as a way of underscoring her eventual role, though most of those ended up getting cut, but the idea of duality still stayed, especially since most of her outfits feature strong contrasts between dark and light elements. (The third bonus was that it was something that was pronounceable AND something that could hold its own in a world of Quinthels, Liriels, and Malices -- just foreign enough to seem distinctively Drow, just short enough to be pronounceable and recognizable as a name, with possibilities for nicknames as well.) I knew, from the beginning, that I wanted her to be a strong contrast to Raphael, so it made sense that her duality, her mixed nature, would be front and center when naming her (in a way that it ISN'T with him -- one of them kind of intentionally hides it and sees it as a weakness, the other doesn't.) I go back and forth on whether I'll ever give an explanation of the name in a fic, because a part of me thinks it's really, really important to her, another part of me thinks it's great to leave it as something that you have to dig for.

And, from that point on, it was a matter of shopping for which house she ought to belong to, since that's central to Drow society. I toyed with a number of options -- never the most prominent house, House Baenre, since Minthara already belongs to that one in-canon, but somebody who would, ideally, be in a place of nobility and privilege while also being out of the spotlight, someone who there was just enough canon on that I had something to work with and just little enough canon that I could be very flexible with, say, matron mother names, timelines, etc. And House Symryvvin, 18th on the house ranking, but once holding some lore that said that they might be the REAL rulers of Menzoberranzan via their hyper-devotion to Lolth...it was perfect. Like, it meant that (1) Kitrye wouldn't be a celebrity, even if she had some amount of power, she is not coming from a place of HYPER privilege, even if it's still a place of privilege and (2) There was a justification for how she was allowed to be born in the first place, because she's a Symryvvin and people might have still been too scared to challenge her mother's decision.

For Mallathalra, I followed a similar pattern (minus the surname issues since I'd already selected that) -- since she actually was chosen by the family and adopted, I wanted something that was slightly more ornate for her, so I chose "malla", meaning "honored" or "honored one" and "thalra", meaning "encounter", for something that is VERY ROUGHLY intended to convey the idea of "honored encounter" -- her name is more outwardly complimentary than Kitrye's, it actually had effort put into it, but there's a double-edged sword in the sense that she very literally does not have an identity outside of the family. They found her, they adopted her, and now she couldn't even remember her birth name if she wanted to.

In a lot of ways, it would be easier to go to a Drow name generator or to take one of the suggested names from the guides, but I'm honestly really happy I didn't, since it gave me a much clearer idea of the characters by going the dictionary route.

For an elf, you have this dictionary, if you want to take the approach I did. The 5E player's handbook has these suggestions:

[vexcraft]

CubScar Week Day 1: Jingler/Jangler (also on AO3 here!)

old secrets

Cub hummed a simple tune as he walked towards the big tree located near spawn, lush leaves swaying in the gentle breeze. It was a nice day, and he’d love to spend it with Scar, which was why he was making his way over to where the elf lived.

He didn’t bother to knock, knowing Scar didn’t mind him popping by unannounced like Cub never minded Scar’s unexpected visits, even if some of them happened at the weirdest hours of the day - or night.

The smell of freshly baked goods greeted Cub as he opened the door, stepping into the hollow tree Scar had turned into his starter base. It was impressive, a beautiful combination of rustic feel mixed with nature in a way that fit the elf-theme he had going on perfectly. 

The mess before him was less impressive, though very expected. There was flour on pretty much every surface of the kitchen, different baking ingredients scattered around the countertops, several broken eggs on the floor. 

It looked like a hurricane had passed through the room, and Cub knew the hurricane in question very well.

Standing in the eye of the storm was Scar himself, holding a tray of cookies with a wide sheepish smile on his face. He was wearing an apron over his green dress-like outfit, though it seemed like it hadn’t exactly kept his clothes clean, judging by the stains on his sleeves.

“Cub!” Scar greeted happily, putting the tray down next to multiple other trays, all full of different kinds of cookies. Some of them Cub recognized, but some seemed to be new ones. What on earth did he need so many cookies for?

“I see you’re baking again,” Cub commented as he walked further into the tree. Scar was definitely an expert at making a mess, he thought, as he picked up a jar that had fallen over, putting it back into place. 

“Baking is nice!” Scar replied as he took off his oven mitts, squinting at the cookies like he was making sure they were absolutely perfect. Scar’s baking always was, Cub knew that - he had been the one to taste test many of his recipes. “It’s calming and relaxing and helps me unwind some stress!”

Cub couldn't quite see how this, with all the mess and everything, could be particularly relaxing, but he had gotten used to Scar’s odd habits. “All of those mean the same thing. This is quite an excessive amount of cookies, what do you need so many for? Planning on playing the Jangler again?”

The elf let out a small choked noise at the sudden reminder of his not-too-successful-pranking-scheme before laughing. 

“I’m making a cookie shop! Besides, I don’t have a Jingler to lure out anymore!” Scar exclaimed, gesturing dramatically with his hands like he always did, especially when he was pretending to be extra dramatic. “I still can’t believe you hid that from me!”

Cub chuckled at how offended Scar looked, glaring at Cub like he was trying to spot some clue that could have given away that years ago, he had been the Jingler. Many things had changed ever since, and if he had ever accidentally left a clue behind, it would surely be lost in time by now.

“I don’t understand how you got away with it!” Scar continued with a groan as he picked up a cloth to wipe away the mess on the counters. “We spent so much time together, worked together at ConCorp, hell, we even slept in the same bed every night! And yet you somehow sneaked away and managed that!”

Cub hummed, smiling to himself. It had been quite an ordeal to keep everything secret, but he had managed, even years after no one had figured it out until he had revealed it himself. It had been a tough secret to keep at points, especially from Scar. 

“You’re the one to talk, as if you didn’t have the whole Jangler bit too,” Cub laughed, walking over to where Scar was. Now that he was closer, he could see a smudge of chocolate on the other’s face. “Leaving cookies everywhere, selling good and bad deeds.”

“That’s different though!” Scar pouted. “That was to get you to reveal yourself, and instead I got chased by the detective and all-” He quickly went quiet as Cub leaned in to kiss away the chocolate stain on his cheek, hoping Scar could feel his smile against his skin. 

“Don’t worry about it, yeah?” Cub suggested, casually turning back to look at the chaos that was Scar’s kitchen, knowing full well the other’s faked grumpiness had been replaced by a flush. “Let’s get this mess cleaned.”

[misconceivedcapricorn]

Ride the Cyclone Humans Are Space Orcs AU (Will reblog with sketches if I do make them)

Noel- Some kind of bird alien I think. Think of a songbird of a lyrebird maybe as a vague idea on what his design would be. Ties in with a desire to fit in maybe, but also lyrebirds are just cool asf

Mischa- May sound weird but like, a lion-y sort of thing, mixed with a sheep or something,like that Lion Lamb thing that is supposed to refer to the month of March but I’m Aussie so I’m just using it to exemplify the dual nature of Mischa. I know the dual nature refers to Ricky but he’s a sexy cat man from Zolar so

Ricky- The space age bachelor alien that is from Zolar and he is the only one where his species actually has a name because thank god for Richard Pott’s SABM story otherwise I would be lost

Ocean- I’d like to imagine that because of her name she has a sort of ocean/mermaid themed alien species. Maybe a concept similar to the Avatar 2 water tribes or something, where they have legs and shit but they’re adapted to a water based environment

Constance: Maybe some type of fairy of elf inspired alien. Species might be hospitable tricksters who like causing problems but are great hosts. Would cold be very grounded idk

Tammy Edwards: Biblical Angel inspired alien. Probably has a christian based religious beliefs too. IDK. Lots of eyes and wheels but she probably can shapeshift to look like whatever she wants

Penny & Ezra: Human. Abducted maybe.

[ravendarkwood]

Okay I'm just going to gush about my design headcanons for the eggs! Sorry if this gets long, I simply have a lot of thoughts. Part of my design ideas were base them less on dragons and more on what kind of dragon they wanted to be + one (or sometimes more) of their parents. I shall be going in my height order headcanons. Under the read more because this is going to get very long. Some have way more detail than others.

Chayanne: So canonically Chayanne wants to be a water dragon when he hatches, so you know the typical gills, webbed hands and feet, scales at different parts of his body, the works, and a lot of these elements in yellow (I really love the signature colors things from the signs) specifically based off of this fish (warning for dead fish in pics, but it's just a fish that ombres from like a peach to a yellow) and a yellowtail snapper. He also has wings, specifically wings from a sinaloa crow, but they're too small for him to fly just yet. Looks about ten-ish.

As far as Chayanne's fashion goes, I've always imagined him as leaning more alt, specifically some light flavors of emo in his design. I've gone through a bunch of designs for Chayanne's clothes, and the current design is a yellow duck themed baggy hoodie (I think the floatie looks a bit hard to move in on human designs), a black shirt with a ribcage and hardcore heart design (maybe cropped at the waist with shorter sleeves? I need to draw it out), black and white striped arm warmers, torn up dark capris with a ton of autumn or Halloween themed patches, candy corn themed long socks or tights that you can see through the holes in the capris, and his boots from Saint Nickolas Day. He wears asymmetrical earrings, one being a Yin (from Yin and Yang) symbol.

Chayanne's skull mask is based off of day of the dead face paint, and very specifically this one description I found where the website said that face paint represents lost loved ones, which seeing as I found it no where else probably isn't true, but what a cool idea for a character like Chayanne. I imagine Chayanne's skull has painted on potato flowers around the eyes, a bouquet of a sunflower, a pink poppy, a cyan rose, and a red rose on his cheekbones, a crown across his forehead, and maybe some elements of Aztec water designs around the teeth idk how busy that'd be I'd have to draw it out.

Scar wise I imagine that Chayanne has some pretty heavy face scaring from the Nightmare that he covers up with the skull mask. I'm still debating whether his feathers are clipped or not from the Feds.

Coloring wise I think Chayanne and Tallulah look very similar, tanned skin with freckles, blue-green eyes, but Chayanne has long, blond and straight hair.

I swear not all of them are going to be that long, but Chayanne's just my favorite so I've put a lot of thought into him.

Tallulah: I'm struggling a bit with Tallulah still, specifically the nature elements, because Tallulah wants to be like a nature/flower dragon, and right now she just looks like an elf with flowers in her hair so I'm still developing that. The problem is that I'm squicked out by plants growing out of skin, so the struggle is there. She also has wings, specifically that of a Tamaulipas crow. She has long claws, but they're curved for digging purposes (Like this maybe?). She also looks about ten-ish.

Tallulah is similar to Chayanne in that she has some alt fashion leanings, but is more lightly grunge. She wears a magenta flannel over a blouse with a square neckline with marigold and poppy embroidery. The blouse has a bleach dyed design of the Radio Egg name and logo. She wears dark jeans tucked into her Saint Nickolas Day boots. Jewelry wise she wears asymmetrical earrings, one being a yang symbol, and she also wears a tattoo choker. She also has hearing aids, and I'm debating on her having one of those clips to attach them to her shirt? On one hand it's so cute and it makes sense if she's fighting all the time to make sure they don't fall off and get lost, on the other hand I just need to do more research into hearing aids.

Scar wise Tallulah has a scar across her neck from her first death, where I headcanon that Phil nearly decapitated her, and the tattoo choker she wears is to cover that scar.

This is also where I get my headcanon that Tallulah has very short hair. Like a couple of inches long at most, and that before her first death she had longer hair. The code monster grabbed her by her hair, Phil killing her cut through her hair and since then she's insisted on keeping it short, and even then she covers it with various hats.

Ramon: So I struggled with Ramon's design for a while, but I was actually mainly inspired by four things: Albino Pepito designs, fireflies, the character Audrey Rocio Ramirez from Atlantis: The Lost Empire, and his Meathead.

My Ramon is a albino black boy, for a couple of reasons. Mostly I was worried about colorism within fandom designs with regards to albino Pepito and dark skinned Richarlyson or Sunny designs (which I feel is an entirely different discussion not for right here but I was thinking about that with these designs, so hopefully I managed to avoid that somewhat?), but also white is Ramon's signature color so I wanted to play with that a bit. He looks about nine or eight-ish.

I don't think has said what kind of dragon he wants to be when he hatches, and I struggled for a while with what to make him, but it wasn't until I watched him lead a firefly over to Fit that inspiration struck: a poison dragon.

I'm imagining a Ramon with aposematism, glow in the dark or bright colored patterns on his skin, like how Monarch Butterflies is brightly colored to warn birds that it tastes bad. I'm still developing what other fantasy features I might give him, but I really like the poison/glow in the dark idea. I think it goes with Fit's apocalypse theming pretty well. I'm still thinking about what designs to go with, but right now I'm thinking about like a blue ringed octopus or various bugs I've seen.

Clothing wise I imagine Ramon wearing a muted red jumpsuit that he wears half off, like tying the sleeves around his waist? And under that wearing like a tank top. Tools strapped to his side, thick ass gloves, goggles on, just ready to work on create.

Accessories wise I do lean more towards the mustache being a print on a handkerchief that he wears over his mouth, but I'm still debating on that. What I do know is that he has dreadlocks, and either wears real flowers in his hair when he braids them and/or locs jewelry like this.

Dapper: I'm still working on Dapper, but he canonically wants to be a feathered serpent when he hatches, so I'm thinking of covering him in down feathers so he looks even more baby. He is the same height as Ramon and Leo, and looks about nine or eight-ish.

Clothing wise I'm leaning more fancy to match with the top hat, but just decked out in magical accessories. I'm still working on him. He might also have wings? Dunno, rotating him in my head going hmmmmm.

Leo: Leo is another one that I'm actively working on. I don't think Leo has said what kind of dragon she wants to be she hatches, but I went with a gemstone dragon for amethyst reasons + whatever Foolish is. I've headcanoned him as an Atlantean Golem of Undying, so I'm going with that for Leo's design as well, maybe also giving her some shark or other fish themes because of that, but I'm still working on her. I know that I want her to have a bunch of masks that she can switch to. She's the same height as Ramon and Dapper, and looks about nine-eight ish.

Pomme: Pomme wants to be a fairy dragon, so I decided to go very insect with her, specifically a Old World Swallowtail (specifically the dorsal side), and the parent that I decided to base her off of was Antoine, so she kind of ended up being inspired by Hornet from Hollow Knight? I'm imaging her with a cracked oval mask with red and blue paint smeared across the cheeks, her limbs that are black and very insect like, a beautiful dress inspired by art deco fashion, and she still has that cute apple beret. Age wise I imagine her as six? But like a tall six, so she's taller than Richas.

Richarlyson: Richas wants to be a water dragon! I've picked out like six fish to draw inspo from, specifically the Tosanoides aphrodite, Scarus zelindae, Noronha wrasse, Acanthurus tractus, Acanthurus coeruleus, and Dactylopterus volitans. Other than the fish elements, I'm thinking of making his curls more like Felp's curls? And besides that I think my Richarlyson design is close to the fandom design. I am also debating on making him a cat boy (kitten boy since he's baby?) too. I imagine him looking about seven-ish, but a short seven-ish.

Sunny: So Sunny might need to be changed a bit with recent lore, but long story short Sunny is a fire elemental, because she wants to be a fire dragon + I headcanoned Tubbo as an elemental but he might actually be a robot?

So Sunny design is like black skin like how lava cools into black rocks? She has freckles that look like those sparks that fires spit out, and her pigtails are just straight up lava that you get in lava lamps, just bright orange blobs that are actually moving and flowing.

Sunny's clothes I'm imaging it as poofy, but also Steampunk and Victorian inspired, maybe with costume wings? I'm also imagining her with a boa made out of fire. Age wise I imagine her as like, 3-ish.

Empanada: She's another one that I'm struggling with, because there's a couple of ways I want to take her? I'm imagining her as a demon, as a calico catgirl, just a full on antro cat. If she does end up being more human in design, I'm imagining her as tan and freckled, and part Korean, with pink and grey split colored hair.

Her clothes are something I'm struggling with. It's primarily Lolita style inspired, but I'm struggling with an actual theme? I did pick out like four cookies from each of her moms' cultures to base an outfit on, but I'm debating on whether to double down on the baking theme. I do think I've decided that her outfit isn't going to have a visible waist, to make her look baby. She looks about 3-ish too.

Pepito: I think I'm going with pink axolotl for Pepito for now because it's cute, but bunny Pepito is also something I've been thinking about. I do know that I want Pepito to have hearing aids and the thickest glasses you can see on a baby, and I want Pepito to have the darkest human skin tone out of the eggs. I've been imagining him in a red and white stripped onesie, and also about 3-ish.

Chunsik: New egg new egg! The most baby, I've been imagining him at like 2-ish years old? I know that I want him in a cyan hanbok, and I'm debating on more fantasy elements, though I am excited by the crocodile and space theming that his parents have been getting, that could be fun to play with.

I think that's everyone and everything? This turned out way longer than I thought oh boy.

I've been thinking about all the QSMP egg humanoid designs and how amazing the headcanons and little details for them are!

What's your favorite egg design headcanon? :>