#and my tears will just get worse and I will start hyperventilating the longer they go on for

[skoulsons]

daily reminder how much yours truly is going to violently shake and sob at 2am while watching this and hearing whatever bullshit score gustavos created this time to absolutely rip my heart strings out fiber by fiber while I watch Joel close his eyes while hugging her as she cries into his chest and wraps her arms around his neck

and how I will be completely inconsolable watching them make camp and try to help with each others pains while ignoring their own

And how I will shut my laptop and stare at my wall breathlessly while tears dry on my face because I won’t even have the strength to wipe them away after watching Ellie grab his hand while she thinks he’s dying and he grab hers when they’re approached by Jackson’s men but he thinks it’s danger and so he does it instinctively to protect her

im COOL

[ohbo-ohno]

absolutely love the shock collar thing for ghoap x reader, especially post accident where they're both grovelling and super guilty for what happened because for once, neither one of them have nothing to use for punishing reader. that's all on them (Simon, mostly, but Johnny's just as guilty).

with that being said, I'd like to introduce this scenario:

maybe just a little bit of time passes. maybe they don't try to have outside time for a little while because reader absolutely detests the thought of the incident happening again since they lied to her the first time. not intentionally but she doesn't think otherwise because it wouldn't be the first time they made her break rules so that they can have an excuse to punish her and the "accident" as they said, might have been exactly that but this is worse because they lied to her face about it. so she doesn't want to give them any more excuses to hurt her again.

it actually gives her so much anxiety that it affects her way of thinking and the way she acts to the point where months go without her getting out of line. not once does she disobey them. not even giving just a little🤏 sarcasm in case one of them turns a complete 180 and goes apeshit on her. and at first, that's fine. it's what Simon might have wanted— complete obedience from his pet. but after a while, he starts to hate it because he can see that it's out of fear.

even when he tries to give her affection, that little flinch twists something in his dead heart. it's no better with Johnny either because she just receives his affection too with very little reaction. as if she's just going through the motions and waiting for it to end and not because she wants their affection.

they've been grovelling and trying to convince her that she's not in trouble for anything and trying to get her genuine reactions and trying to get her to be happy with them again, but anything they do is met with wide eyes, flinching, freezing or something else equally as negative.

but they don't know the extent of that fear until at dinner, one of them makes the mistake of mentioning outside time again and reader just... breaks down. like breaks into tears, hyperventilating and drops into fetal position (maybe even hide under the bed or in the closet) and begging them not to hurt her again because she's been a good girl like they wanted :(

and Simon has never hated himself more because he just wanted to see something other than fear in her eyes for once.

(is 🪐-anon taken? i feel like i'm going to frequent this area)

hey babe stay as long as you want! i will probably only grow more disturbed the longer i write. i didn't add a whole lot to this ask because honestly it stands really well on it's own, so tysm for sending it to me <3

i looved answering the shock collar asks, so fucked up and horrible in one of my favorite ways. that unintentional betrayal that can't taken back, their anger at your rightful distrust, you suddenly being totally averse to something you'd been begging for for weeks, oh it's all so horrible.

i really like the idea of reader becoming actively distressed when they want her to go outside again. she can't help but think they're going to trick her again, is determined to not allow that to happen under any circumstances. they didn't punish her past the shock last time, but who knows what they might do next time? no. it's simply not worth the risk

she doesn't really have a breakdown until simon calmly suggests they might force her outside if she keeps refusing - for her own health, he goes on, but she's already deep in the throes of panic by that point

it takes a long time for them to coax her into relaxing again, even longer for her to even look them in the eyes

simon doesn't mention forcing you outside again.

[agi-ppangx]

💭devil doesn't bargain

knight!hyunjin x princess!reader

warnings: mentions of blood, death and weapons, open ending

Everything felt like slow motion. You were trapped in the basement, the metallic taste of blood dancing on the tip of your tongue, and you felt so unbearably dizzy and dissociated. You heard some screams from outside, but you couldn’t really understand any words. Your breathing has been shallow and you felt the pain in your ribs grow with each movement of your chest. 

The past month had been a blur for you. You had been trapped in this old, scrappy basement and your tormentors tried to make your life living hell. As the heir to the throne, plenty had tried to decapitate you. You had been surrounded by guards and knights since you were a baby - every walk you took, every journey you made, you were accompanied by at least half a dozen people who were willing to sacrifice their lives just to make sure you were safe and sound. 

One of the people who joined the team of your guards was Hyunjin. He was young and eager and oh so pretty. He caught your eye the day he stepped into the castle gates. His long, dark hair tied up, his face majestic - he didn’t seem like someone created to kill and protect. If you were to decide, he would be the one in need of protection. He became a very dear friend of yours - every night you would insist to let him into your chambers, because you felt unsafe, just to talk with him and let the ‘perfect princess façade’ down, at least until dawn. He made you feel safe but in a way no one ever had. 

You heard loud footsteps coming down the stairs, right into the basement and it was then when you realised the screams outside died down. You were prepared for the worse - your captors came back and decided to finally kill you. However, what you weren’t prepared for was Hyunjin's broken scream when he found you on the floor in a pool of blood. You recognised his voice even when your head was constantly spinning and you felt yourself slipping out of consciousness. Your vision was blurry but you managed to notice how he dropped his sword on the floor and fell to his knees next to you, hovering his hands over your fragile body, not exactly knowing what to do. Was he supposed to press you tightly to his chest, rocking you from side to side, or reassuringly hold your hand when you were slowly bleeding out? 

“Hi Hyune,” you whispered, reaching out your hand in his direction, desperately needing to feel him under your fingertips. He abruptly took your hand in his and brought it to his cheek - it was wet from the tears and blood. He nuzzled his face into the palm of your hand. “I missed you,” he whispered back, his voice wobbly. You tried to focus your eyes on him and when you finally managed to see clearly for a while, you noticed his dishevelled hair had gotten longer and dark circles formed under his puffy eyes. He looked exhausted. “I was looking for you everywhere. I-I was so worried and-” “Shh, it’s okay. You don’t have to worry anymore, my dear,” you gently caressed his cheek to soothe his nerves, since the poor boy was starting to hyperventilate from all the emotions. “You found me and we’re finally together. It’s all good now” he scanned your figure and furrowed his brows. “I have to bring a medic for you,” he ignored your words, awkwardly trying to get up but you were quick to speak again. “Don’t. Just stay here with me,” “But-” “It’s an order, Sir Hyunjin.” he looked at you with even more tears in his eyes. “Yn, please…” he pleaded. “We both know the medic is useless here. Just stay with me and keep me close to your chest. I want to feel your heartbeat once more,” you managed to say in a firm tone, but Hyunjin couldn’t let go of the pain behind it. “We should at least try to go get him.” You shook your head. “By the time you both come back I'll be dead. Do as I say,” you once again ordered him and he sighed. He gently wrapped his arms around your body and brought it to his chest, making sure you’re as comfortable as you could be in that situation. You inspected his face and traced the scars on his face and neck. “Are those fresh?” He only nodded at that, clearly not wanting to talk about it. You dropped the topic but still he could feel your fingertips gently dance around his bumpy skin. “Do you remember the day we met? You were trying your best to impress me during the tournament and you almost fell off of your horse,” you giggled at that memory and Hyunjin blushed. “But I still won,” he mumbled, visibly embarrassed at the recalled situation. Then it was quiet for a moment, the only thing you could hear was hyunjin’s sniffing and your irregular, loud breathing. “What would you do if I told you to kiss me?” you suddenly asked him and he looked at you with wide eyes. He thought about it for a while and then answered carefully. “I wouldn’t do it. You’re a princess and I'm just your knight. I’m nobody compared to you,” he whispered the last part and you looked at him with soft eyes. “What if I ordered you to kiss me? You wouldn’t really have a choice, right?” you joked, but deep down your heart you wished he would drop the formalities and just kissed you right then and there. You managed to cross your eyes with Hyunjin and it was then when you saw something shift. “Well, in that case I must obey, am I right?” with that he placed a featherlike kiss on your lips and in that moment you felt your life was fulfilled, because no power and treasures in this world could compare to the feeling of love you received from him. You didn't need a crown and a throne when your greatest treasure was hyunjin, whom you were holding in your arms right now. The whole world had fallen silent and stopped for you so that you were able to enjoy this moment.

And you were so together in this silence, relishing in each others’ company, and it seemed like a typical night for you. You used to snuggle with him like this when he stayed with you in your chamber, but there was something missing to fulfil your memories. “Hyune? Could you sing me a lullaby, please?” you asked him quietly, looking at him with pleading eyes. He hesitated for a moment, but then nodded and the familiar song reached your ears. You sighed in content and felt your eyelids get gradually heavier and you didn’t even fight this feeling anymore. With Hyunjin’s voice slowly guiding you, you weren’t scared of falling asleep. You finally let go after weeks of fighting. 

As Hyunjin was finishing the song, he noticed your closed eyes and steadying chest and he immediately stopped. He shook your body once, then again and again and- “Doctor! Someone bring the medic here!” His broken sobs could be heard far, far away, reaching the rest of the knights. Hyunjin was crying hard, shaking your unconscious body and repeating your name over and over again. Then he started praying, begging God for mercy. When that didn’t work, he tried to bargain with the devil. He knew it was foolish, hubris even, but he was eager to try and bring you back to him and he wasn’t stopping, even if he was to trade his own life over yours.

taglist: @lynlyndoll @iyenbread @flooo71 @skz-streamer @inniescandy-01

let me know if you wanna be added/removed from the taglist🖤

feedback and reblogs highly appreciated🫶🏽

[sebastianstanisahotmf]

Overlooked

Steve Rogers x reader

A/N This fic is about how overlooked Steve's trauma was in the films. It's just my opinion since he definitely would have had struggles but they weren't really seen in the films. Once again this is just my opinion. Idk if I like this though so I might delete it. I'm not sure though. Also, all mistakes are my own so if you see any feel free to comment them and likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated.

18+ MINORS DNI, THERE'S NOTHING EXPLICIT IN THIS FIC BUT IT DEALS WITH HEAVY THEMES

Summary Steve is struggling and you convince him to get help

DO NOT REPOST ON ANY OTHER APPS/SITES. THE ONLY PLACE THIS FIC IS ON IS TUMBLR.

Warnings Fluff, angst (a lot), allusions to being suicidal kinda (if these things trigger you in any way then please don't read it)

Steve was your everything. He was the reason you woke up with a smile every day. You trusted him with your deepest secrets and he does the same with you. That’s how you got into the position you were in. 

Steve was lying on your chest while you ran your fingers through his soft hair as he sobbed. It broke your heart to see him in such a state but, there was nothing you could do but hold him until the crying stopped. 

This wasn’t an unusual situation for the both of you to be in. This broke your heart when you came to that realisation since it made you think of how much you saw Steve in such a state.

It was because of Steve being misunderstood by everyone. Everyone saw America’s golden boy who bravely fought in WWII and continues to fight for justice. They saw his best friend -formerly the winter soldier- fighting his inner demons and PTSD. 

What they didn't see was the man who was scared to admit he was tortured by memories as well. They didn’t see the man who had nightmares almost every night. They didn’t see the man who would cry for hours on end thinking about the people he watched die, the people he was too late to save, the people he thought he should have swapped places with. 

They might not have seen that, but you did. You saw the look of pure horror on Steve’s face after each nightmare, you saw the way his hands trembled and you saw the way Steve would try to fight back the tears. You saw everything. 

Steve was so thankful to have you in his life. You brightened his day and made life worth living. Especially in moments like these.

His arms were wrapped around you as he snuggled into your chest. The blanket was over his head; a cocoon of safety, protecting him from the outside world. 

As his sobs turned into whimpers and his breathing evened out, you slightly lifted the blanket so you could look at your boyfriend.

“Do you wanna talk about it baby?” you questioned.

“Could y-you just hold m-me for a bit l-longer?” he replied.

“Of course I can,”

You stayed like that for a while before a thought entered your mind.

“How about we tell Dr Cho or Banner about this Stevie.”

“W-why?” He stuttered, trying not to panic.

“Because babe it hurts me to see you in such a state, especially as often as it has been happening lately.”

“It’s not that bad doll. Bucky’s got it worse,” he responded.

“Maybe he has, but that doesn’t take away from your struggles.”

“B-but what will everyone think? I’m supposed to be Captain America, the man with a plan. Their symbol of hope,” he said, starting to hyperventilate.

“Look at me, Steve,” he lifted his arms so he was resting on them and facing you, “Breathe with me,” you took slow, deep breaths in through your nose and let them out through your mouth.

Steve started to copy you and in no time, he was back to breathing normally.

“You don’t have to be strong all the time baby. Nobody is,” 

“B-but-”

“It’s okay to have struggles. You have every right to ask for help. You went through a war, lost your best friend and then woke up seventy years into the future. If anyone deserves to get help it's you.”

Steve looked at you with pure admiration and love in his eyes. 

“I love you so much, doll.” He leaned in to kiss you, it was so gentle and full of love.

“I love you too Stevie, that’s why I want you to get help. Please. I’ll go with you if you want and I’ll be there for you. Every step of the way.”

“You’re perfect darling,” Steve replied, laying back down on your chest.

“So does that mean you’re going to ask Dr Cho or Banner for help then?” you asked hopefully.

“Yeah, I will do it tomorrow,” Steve looked up at you and then continued in a voice so small and innocent it almost didn't sound like him, “Will you still come with me?”

“Of course I will babe,” you responded with a smile.

_________________________________________

The next day, you woke up to Steve kissing you on the cheek and smiling at you. 

“Good morning, doll,” he whispered.

“G’morning baby,” you replied, kissing him.

“I already booked an appointment with Banner at 1:15pm.” He told you with a smile on his face.

You pulled him down to kiss you, “I’m so proud of you Stevie,” you kissed him again, “so proud.”

Steve’s cheeks had gone red from the praise. Then, he got up and went into the bathroom, leaving you alone in bed with a big smile on your face. 

Once Steve came out of the bathroom, you went inside while he went into the kitchen to make the both of you some coffee and pancakes.

Maybe Steve was struggling but he had you and that’s all that mattered. You gave him purpose and someone to love and he would forever be thankful for that.

Taglist: @buckys-wintersoldier, @nicoline1998enilocin

if you want to join my taglist just click on the link

Also, if you want to see the things that I repost then you can follow my other account @sebastianstanisahotmf-reblogs

[blueberri-blu]

Hiiii! I hope you’re having a lovely day! (Or night depending on your timezone)

I would like to request a 2012 Leo x Reader hurt/comfort fanfic. (I love hurt/comfort fanfics) Make it be about Leo comforting the reader who’s having a really bad panic attack.

Also, include a kiss scene as well as writing prompt 13 in it. And don’t forget to make the reader gender neutral.

And that’s my request! If you can do it, it’ll absolutely make my day!

Of Course! I'd love to ^^ Heres What I came up with:

Too Much to Bear ᗒᗕ

Prompt 13: "just take a deep breath or something!" "TAKE A DEEP BREATH!! I feel like my INSIDES are being RIPPED OUT!"

♡⁠˖♡⁠˖♡⁠˖♡⁠˖♡⁠˖♡⁠˖♡⁠˖♡⁠˖♡⁠˖♡⁠˖♡⁠˖♡⁠˖♡⁠˖♡⁠˖♡⁠˖♡⁠˖♡⁠˖♡⁠˖♡⁠˖♡

It was so cold. The freezing hand seemed to grip at your head without mercy, shivers racking down your whole body. Your face soaked with your frustration, only making things worse. Your jaw locked in as if holding onto prey, quite ironic since right now, you felt like prey. Like life's little plaything it just couldn't leave alone, like a doll a little kid couldn't help but leave lonely and forgotten on the abandoned playground as the rain seemed to come down like bullets.

Before their mission, Leo had told you he'd come back to your place, just so you'd feel better. You had told him a couple days ago that you felt scared and restless whenever they went on missions, so he started to come back and see you right after.

But he still hasn't come back. Leo was always on time, ever the gentleman. And even though you knew they could handle their own, your mind couldn't help but wander. That's what got you here, cold, wet, and shaking, like an abandoned puppy. You couldn't help what you felt, you knew that, logically, they were most likely ok, and they probably just got caught up with things, but your mind and body seemed to work against you.

Your inner battle seemed to drown you, not realizing that Leo had finally walked through your window. You suddenly felt 3 cold fingers on your shoulder, you jumped, but soon made out the green blob with a blue mask through your teary vision. Your throat was sore, but more sobs racked through your body, only this time in slight relief. Leo on the other hand, was more than worried, you were sobbing, shaking, and hyperventilating, he was trying his best to calm you down.

"Hey, hey, it's ok, can I hold you?" You just nodded and he pulled you into his lap as he held and rocked you. You could tell he was trying to slow his breathing, in hopes you'd do the same. His hand was soothing, it seems to rub your worries out through your back.

It had been half an hour, and you were still crying, Leo, ever the confused one just said "Well, take a deep breath... Or something?" You, obviously, took offense and just yelled "TAKE A DEEP BREATH!! I feel like my INSIDES are being RIPPED OUT!" Seeing you no longer sobbing, or shaking, he let out a little chuckle, loving that no matter the situation, you always fought. "I'm sorry, you're right, what can I do?" "Just hold me..." As you calmed down, your little outburst having helped you control your emotions a bit, you finally wanted to talk about it.

"You were 2 hours late, and I just... I couldn't bear the thought of you getting hurt, or worse, not coming back home" the mere thought sent more tears down you already drenched cheeks. "Oh, I'm so sorry, I really am, the mission went a little side way, but I'm back! I've got an idea...

What if, from now on, I'll send you my location before going on missions? Then you can see where we are, just in case" you looked up at him with pure adoration, he always tried his best to make you feel better, no matter what, you just murdered a simple, "that'd be great, love"

You both seemed to grow closer from the whole ordeal, always checking in on each other, and, whenever your brain started to race faster than it should, you'd be able to check on Leo. Donnie installed some extra features, allowing you to see his T-phone battery, his location, and even his vitals.

And if even with that information, you're still feeling anxious, Leo is always there, ready with comforting words, some tea, and impeccable back rubs!

♡⁠˖♡⁠˖♡⁠˖♡⁠˖♡⁠˖♡⁠˖♡⁠˖♡⁠˖♡⁠˖♡⁠˖♡⁠˖♡⁠˖♡⁠˖♡⁠˖♡⁠˖♡⁠˖♡⁠˖♡⁠˖♡⁠˖♡

I really hope this helps! I personally haven't experienced panic attacks, I usually end up having a meltdown because of the overwhelming feelings I get, but I asked some friends to get a good idea of what they're like! I really appreciate the ask btw! I love it when you guys send in asks, so please feel free to send in as many as you'd like! I hope you guys like it, ily <3

[snowball-doie]

One night, Sooah wakes up randomly- She feels hot, her whole room feels dark and suffocating, her heart is racing in her chest, her stomach is twisting, she’s hyperventilating yet it feels like she’s not taking in any oxygen at all. She’s not sure how long she was asleep for but she can only assume all the boys are asleep. She tries to handle it on her own. Sitting in her bed, she throws the covers off her body in an attempt to cool down while she tries to catch her breath- But nothing works. Not a single thing. Tears start to drip down her cheeks.

Finally, she decides she can’t bear it alone anymore, so she wobbles out of bed and stumbles down the hallway, catching herself on the walls and she makes her way into Nomin’s room. They’re laying in bed together when Sooah falls onto their floor. Jeno’s got his back against the headboard, Jaemin’s half asleep with his head on Jeno’s chest, one of the cats is asleep on Jaemin and the other two are asleep at the foot of the bed.

“Sooah?” Jeno says, sitting upright.

Jaemin perks up when he hears Sooah panting on her hands and knees on their wood floor, her head spinning too fast for her to stay up any longer. Both boys rush out of bed— The cats meow in protest to being disturbed, but the boys are focused on hurrying to comfort Sooah who clings to Jeno’s arms as he crouches in front of her and Jaemin’s beside her while running his fingers through his hair.

“Do we get Renjun—“ Jaemin starts to offer, but Sooah shakes her head.

“Y-you can’t… I don’t want to worry him… It’ll… It’ll only make it worse…” She squeezes Jeno’s biceps harder, “I can’t breathe.”

“Look at me,” he coos gently, pinching her chin in his hand so that she looks straight at him and nothing else. “What do I look like?”

“H-hot.”

“That. But be more specific, baby.”

“Y-you’ve got a big n-nose.”

“Mhm.”

“I like to ride it-“

“She sounds sane to me,” Jaemin jokes, which causes Sooah to chuckle briefly.

“Your jaw is sharp… And I like it when your hair is in your face instead of pushed back or cut short,” she reaches up to play with his hair. Sure enough, even though she doesn’t realize it in the moment, her breathing is evening out and the shaking is subsiding.

Jeno smiles at her. “What else?”

“You look like a puppy when you smile and tilt your head like that.”

“Our little Samoyed.” Jaemin pats Jeno’s head.

Sooah slumps, her exhaustion hitting her suddenly after the panic attack has slowly subsided thanks to Jeno diverting her focus to something else. She slowly breathes and reaches with one hand to hold Jaemin too before he offers again to get Renjun who lives just across the hall.

“I don’t want to worry him before your guys’ show,” Sooah replies, “and he should be asleep anyhow.”

“He’s not. He sent me a TikTok just before you came in,” Jeno says.

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

Sooah gulps and feels her sleepiness consuming her once more, almost like nothing happened in the first place, as if the whole thing were a dream or something. Jaemin pushes himself to his feet then leaves the bedroom to knock on Renjun’s door. Seconds later, Renjun scurries into the room and slides onto the floor, scooping Sooah into his arms while doting on her, asking all kinds of questions about if she’s okay or if she needs anything. Sooah giggles and reaches up to play with Renjun’s hair. She takes in his features. His round cheeks, his perky nose, his plump lips. She pokes one of his pimples on his chin.

“My pretty boy.”

Renjun turns a bright shade of red.

As Sooah continues to stare up at him, Jeno shifts slightly so that her legs are swung over his lap and her feet are on Jaemin who takes the opportunity to rub the arch of her left foot. It’s been a while since Sooah had a panic attack. Staying home with Renjun during his hiatus was a good distraction because it kept her busy with worrying over him and taking care of him whenever he had his own panic attacks. Honestly, no one can remember the last time Sooah had a panic attack, at least not one this bad. Renjun feels like it’s his fault. Going on the last leg of the tour left Sooah at home alone… It was obvious she had been anxious to see them again, which was why she used the first excuse she could to fly to London to be with them; but now that the tour is coming to an end and they’re home again, they’re going to be busy working on music and prepping for future shows and tours, leaving her home alone all over again. If Renjun just stayed home, maybe this wouldn’t have happened.

“Hey, don’t go anywhere bad,” Sooah whispers. She plays with Renjun’s hands as he looks back down at her, the bad thoughts fading away. “I’m okay.”

Jaemin switches to massaging her right food. “You think you can sleep by yourself tonight?”

“No.”

“Do you want to stay with me?” Renjun offers.

“Can we all just stay in here?”

Jaemin and Jeno turn to look at their giant bed— They have the biggest bed in the house since they permanently live together and don’t have separate rooms like everyone else… Also because Jeno spoils Jaemin by getting him everything he wants, and when he said he wanted the biggest bed that would fit in the room, Jeno made it happen. All four of them could definitely fit on it together. Everyone shifts once more to make room for Jaemin who carefully lifts Sooah off Renjun and Jeno’s laps before carrying her to the bed where she’s plopped down in the middle so that Jaemin can cuddle up behind her, his arms wrapped around her hips, while Renjun crawls in front of her and Jeno is just behind him. Jeno’s long wingspan drapes over both Renjun and Sooah so that he can put a hand on Jaemin’s bicep.

“Good?” Jeno checks.

Sooah nods. “My stomach hurts a bit.”

It will pass eventually. The excitement of the panic attack threw her whole body off, and all that stomach churning at the height of it definitely took a toll on her, but it will subside eventually just like the hyperventilating did because of Jeno. She just does her best to relax so that the rest of her body can recover. She holds Renjun in her arms and finds comfort in being squeezed by Jaemin who has his nose stuffed in the crook of her neck while he’s grinning. She feels safe there. That’s the best part.

[adhd-attention-deficit-dumbass]

PSA - If you are walking your dog without a leash in a shared public space you are kind of being a dick🐕

I had a period of severe anxiety especially when walking outside. Despite this I did my best to force myself to go outside once a day if only for a few minutes to improve my physical and mental well-being.

So there I am doing my little walk around the neighborhood already struggling to keep my anxiety in check, I’m almost home, relieved that the torture of going outside is almost over. I look behind me (as you do when you expect the world to pounce on you at any second) and I see a woman walking with a big dog unleashed. The dog is walking next to her no problem not looking agressive at all.

Now I’m not afraid of dogs in any way shape or form. We had a giant rottweiler growing up so I really have no reason to be afraid, but since I was already overwhelmed with anxiety this really freaked me out and I started walking faster, but so did the dog lady.

I actually don’t know if what happened next really happened the way I remember it, but I keep looking back and they keep getting closer. In that moment I remember a close family friend who got attacked and bit in the head on a walk by an unleashed dog. I think about the stitches she had to get, how she became so afraid of encountering dogs that she couldn’t take her own dog for walks any longer. Thee lady and the dog keep coming closer and I start panicking even though I’m fully convinced that this dog looks nowhere near even considering attacking. Next thing I know, I look back again and I see this big black dog running up behind me and just scream like I’ve never screamed before.

I step off the trail and sort of freeze. Embarrased but also afraid and I end up sitting down and sort of rocking myself trying to control my anxiety.

The dog lady comes over and tells me

”It’s okay, he’s friendly.”

She gives me this look like she doesn’t know what to think of me. I start profusely apologizing explaining that I just got really scared but that I’m actually fine. She doesn’t really buy it (understandably as I was starting to hyperventilate) She sort of half-heartedly asks if there’s anything she can do and I tell her to please put a leash on her dog. However rather than doing that she starts telling me over and over how friendly and safe the dog is and I just kinda shut her out just asking her to please leave. So she does. I sit in the grass for a good 10-15 minutes probably trying to calm myself down, feeling incredibly ashamed and guilty over having such a big emotional reaction which is of course not helping me calm down.

As I’m trying to muster the courage to get up and walk the remaining 2 minutes back home the lady returns without the dog and again asks if she can do something to help (which was actually really nice of her but in the moment it just made things worse as I felt pressured to ”feel better” for the sake of easing her discomfort) I kept telling her

”Thank you but no, I just need some time to calm down”

After going back and forth a bit she eventually leaves and after an additional 5-10 minutes I’m able to get back up, finish my walk and return to the safety of my home where I break down in tears. Ashamed of my reaction but also just so angry.

Listen, dog people, I get it. Your pup is probably super well trained and wouldn’t hurt a fly. I believe you, but just because you know they’re well behaved doesn’t mean other people know. Even if they know fear can be incredibly irrational and difficult to control. It should be obvious that in shared public spaces you should be respectful of others by leashing your dog. There are dedicated spaces for dogs to run about without a leash but on your daily walk where you have a high likelyhood of encountering lots of people is not that space. It’s unsafe not only for others but for your dog. Some people may attempt to attack your dog out of fear in order to defend themselves.

So please, for the safety and well-being of everyone, just leash your dog

[chasesylvan]

The Pain Seethes Further

TRANS RAIN X TRANS PHANTOM!

CW: Mentions of blood going down the drain, mentions of heavy periods, mentions of hyperventilating!!

Phantom had been asleep in bed with Rain curled up to his side, fast in sleep, when Rain jolted up, holding his mouth with one hand while the other was on his stomach as he rushed out of their shared bed into the attached bathroom, Phantom had awoken to the jostling of the bedsheets and saw that Rain no longer was laying in bed, cuddled up to him, “Rain? Baby, are you alright?” Phantom slightly yelled out at the bathroom after seeing Rain charging at the bathroom door and shutting it behind him, violet gagging could be heard as Rain threw up everything he had eaten the night before.

Phantom, wide eyed and still laying in his spot on his bed, immediately got up and walked over to the bathroom door and knocked on it, “Water lily, are you alright?” The quintessence ghoul knocked on the door again, and noises of confirmation were heard on the other side, Phantom opened the door and his heart shattered at the sight in front of him, Rain was curled up against the toilet, taking in dry breaths and dry heaving into the toilet, tear streaks painted his cheeks and the saddest expression was on his face as the dry heaving was causing him pain. Phantom immediately went over and started to tie the bassist’s hair back, and rubbing soothing motions into his back. “What happened, baby?” The smaller ghoul asked, “I think it’s my period, I feel stickiness on my thighs, and it’s making me really agitated and I don’t know-“ Rain was starting to hyperventilate, which was a common thing for Rain to do when he was on his period, Phantom started to help control his ragged and uncontrollable breathing by getting the bassist to copy the quintessence ghoul’s breathing.

“In and out, Rainy, in and out.”

Thanks to the soothing tone and structure of Phantoms’s voice, Rain’s breathing was in control again and he was no longer hyperventilating. Rain tended to have more hyperventilating episodes when he was alone on his period, but this time he wasn’t alone, having his boyfriend along with him through this tortuous week of constant pain, bleeding and having to change pads every hour, but this time, he had Phantom along his side. “Sh-shower, I need a shower.” Rain spoke through ragged breaths, “Yeah that’s a good idea,” While Phantom was helping regulate his partner’s breathing, he couldn’t help but also feel the same pain in his abdomen, it was no secret to the other ghouls that Phantom was also trans, but he thought he didn’t get periods anymore, well this turned out to be not true and Phantom believes that his and Rain’s period are synced, which can happen if two people are hanging around each other for long periods of time, this is what usually causes the syncopation of their periods. He could feel his pain getting worse and worse.

“Um- issue, Rainy.” Phantom said, uncertain and scrunched his face at the pain just throbbing in his lower abdomen. The water ghoul slowly moved his head to look at the smaller ghoul with a questioning look in his eyes, “Hm?” He said. “I may have also gotten- gotten my period as well.” Phantom scratched the back of his neck in awkwardness as he tried to look everywhere but Rain’s direction, Rain slowly gets up from where he was seated on the bathroom floor to take Phantom’s hand.

Phantom led Rain to the shower, helping him undress to stand in the shower, not taking notice of the water turning a violent red colour, not wanting to further embarrass the poor and in pain water ghoul, but it seems that even without Phantom saying anything, Rain noticed it too, “S-Sorry about that… I tend to be heavy on the first couple of days, I’m sorry you had to see that.” Rain said sheepishly and was flushed in the cheeks, “Rainy, I couldn’t care less about what comes out of you, it doesn’t bother me at all, and I also tend to be heavy on the first few days as well,” Rain smiled warmly at the ghoul, feeling a little bit of comfort knowing he wasn’t alone this month for his period.

“Then I guess we can both suffer together and take care of each other.” He said in a soft and caring voice, Phantom helped Rain out of the shower and into a towel, doing the same for himself. Phantom smiled but then remembered he should probably put a pad on, he goes to the cupboard of Rain’s bathroom and finds a pack of nighttime pads, and takes 2 out, one for himself and one for Rain. “Here Rain,” He hands one of the pads to him, “Thanks, Ant.” They both got and put on new pairs of boxers and sleep pants, along with their pads, and also each put on their electric heat packs, which do wonders to their cramps and back ache.

They both got back into bed, heat packs on their abdomens, soothing their tight muscles and relieving them of the pains.

Phantom had buckets for the both of them in case they felt like they were going to be sick and so they didn’t have to get up, he had snacks and drinks for him on the bed, and his and Rain’s favourite shoes downloaded for them to watch all day while they laid in bed and cuddled their pains away. They had fallen asleep, cuddling with each other, finding comfort and safety in the arms of each other.

[author04055]

Kuroo Tetsurou x y/n [How it came to be?] Fluff?

Flashback: How did it start of how you and Kuroo fell in love?

Well, it all started when you were in your second year of Karasuno at seventeen you fell for the cat.

Yet being Ukai's daughter it wasn't much trouble for you or him, but with all your problems he learnt how to deal with them.

He knew what to do when you have panic attacks. Or when you are hyperventilating gasping for air not able to breathe.

But that's it for now you guessed.

With you being the co-assistant of Karasuno's team when your dad isn't there and is on summer vacay.

You step in just to help out when it's needed for help to be there.

Flashback ended: You remembered the time when the whole team of Karasuno was present and went to Tokyo for a trainning camp/sleepover with Nekoma.

When you and the team got to Tokyo and everyone got out of the bus helping to take everything out.

You had your bag with you by yourside as you and Kiyoko walked in the building to see Nekoma waiting.

"Kiyoko, I think Nekoma might be good for us to start the training together, don't you think?"

You asked Kiyoko who looked at you and hummed in agreement when Yamamoto spotted you and Kiyoko talking and laughing.

He got all giddy and laughing seeing the both of you girls talking.

"Yamamoto-kun, it's a pleasure to meet for the first time. You remember Shimizu, right? Well, I'm her best friend Y/n Ukai. Nice to meet you."

You introduced yourself to Yamamoto who smiled and greeted back to you.

"Ah yeah, I see. Yes, I do remember Karasuno's manager. N-nice to meet you! Your so pretty!"

He said aloud which you smiled back and laughed at his comment which he blushed a bit.

"I-it's fine! Don't get embarrassed! I've had a lot of the guys at my school say such things. Don't worry about it! So? Who's the captain?"

You asked which Yamamoto blushed in embarrassment as you had asked him.

"Kuroo Tetsurou is our beloved captain, have you guys met?"

That... that name is so familiar your eyes started tearing up at the name.

Kuroo Tetsurou.. wait... is-is Kenma here? You have to make sure that if Kenma's here-

"Kenma? Wh-why? Wait.. not why. How?"

"Huh? Y/n? Wait... how?"

You both looked at each other and laughed tears forming in your eyes.

"Looking for Kuroo? Um.. he's been busy but he's not here today."

"He-he has? Oh..."

You responded back to Kenma you were getting overwhlemed again.

But your thoughts decided to kick into your mind.

[Aka yours] Y/n's thoughts:

He's not thinking about you.

He says your stupid, dumb, not good-looking, ugly, fat!!!

He HATES you!!! He doesn't like you no longer! Give up! Go end your life! Your mom hates you and has regretted the day you were born!

Your thoughts were getting worse and worse as you stood there between Kiyoko and Kenma.

Not saying a word. You wanted to reply something but your scared that your mind will tell you.

Will just tell you to go kill yourself which you don't want to do at all.

Your now staring at some random thing in the gym of Nekoma, Kenma and Kiyoko are trying to get you out of your thoughts.

But... nothing!

Nothing's working for that to be done they both can see you hyperventilating bad.

You can't breathe normal.. your gasping and feel your vision blacking out every 2 minutes.

You want to see Kuroo... but it's getting worse your about to have a panic attack along with an anxiety attack.

When Lev came back running with Kuroo Tetsurou in a black suit still formally dressed.

But your vision was blurry and you couldn't breathe your breathing was ragged and your gasping was getting much worse.

Kenma and Kiyoko knew about your situation and this all started before the divorce of your parents.

Your breathing wasn't evening out.. you knew it so well but you didn't feel when you got dizzy and almost fell to the ground.

"Shit! Y/n-"

You didn't hear your name being called... when you opened your eyes you had a massive headache.

But you looked up to see Kuroo and avoided his eyes not able to speak to him.

"Hey, you-you gave me quite a scare, huh? Y/n.. talk to me! I don't deserve this."

".... why should I? You... you didn't say anything about not being here. Why are you dressed formally anyway? For your girlfriend?"

Ouch... that bite in your tone hurt his feelings the way you said it as well.

"Um... m-maybe."

"Thought so, then why?"

The hurt in your voice.. oh shit. What to do?

"Y/n, th-that's not what I meant-"

"No, no no! I completely understand what you're trying to say Kuroo. It's understandable that you have a girlfriend.."

"Uhm... c-can we go talk?"

"no. I've got some important things to go deal with."

That left him hurt. He didn't mean for that to happen as you got up and left crying.

TO BE CONTINUED!!!!!!

A/N: Comment if you want a part 2 on this fanfic! Thank you! You'll hear the story from Kuroo's pov. Hopefully you'll know why you're mad at him.

[sarahhelpimsinking]

Warm heart even warmer hands pt 1

So it’s 12 am at my cabin 😝  and I ran out of books and my google docs work without internet so here, also I know nothing about how the actual law works or injury’s so here’s this steaming pile of twilight crap this Takes place in new moon 😚✌️ also this is literally just me like the description and what not and also all my fics the characters from Alaska because I am ( I posted this days after I wrote it)

I’m running, fast. The branches are ripping at my arms scratching me, I’m gasping for air, damn I knew skipping PE was going to come back and  bite me in the ass. I don’t know where my friend had gone I hope she was all right, I could hear him behind me catching up. I was weaving between trees blood dripping down my face. HE WAS RIGHT BEHIND ME his hand gripped my shoulder and I had no other defenses so I whipped around and launched my self at him, he grunted and we hit the ground rolling and fists hitting skin, my glasses fell off in the chaos.  He was a full grown man with a knife and I was a scared unfit girl. We were about the same weight though, his fist cought my head and my ear rang I brought my fist up and hit him in the nose,blood poured, he somehow got me on my back and was now sneering at me I screamed before a slap to the face cut me off. He leaned in close, his breath smelled foul “stupid bitch” fight or flight was in hyper drive now, i craned my neck up and slammed my head so hard into his that pain splintered my vision. He screamed and rolled off blood pouring from both of our faces,

I rolled up as fast as I could my vision blurry and shaky, not having my glasses made this much worse and I tried to make another run for it. He must have gotten up and his knife made contact with my arm, I let out a sound between a yelp and a scream but I just grabbed my arm and sped up. I was now running faster then I ever have in my life adrenaline keeping me going. I made it to the edge of the forest that leads to la push beach close to sam uleys house. He was still behind me I screamed SAM and made a sharp turn in the sand up the little road to his house. As I was booking it up the road I saw people on the porch but I couldn’t make it out without my glasses on, they saw me and I screamed HELP as the man reached me again, he launched himself at me and I fought like hell both of us grunting in pain he slammed my hand Into the ground and I bit the shit out of his arm and elbowed his stomach, he only got in another punch before a buff native boy pulled him off me more surrounded us and beat the hell out of him and knocked him out. I was swiftly picked up by one of them, which was no easy feat I was 250 pounds and 5’8. My vision was going in and out and I could hear them talking to me. All I could mutter was  “holy shit” that last hit had my head swimming, I was set on a couch I think, I looked up and woman was crouching next to me talking, she had scars all over her face but even those couldn’t dampen her soft beauty, Emily I think her name was I met her once awhile ago, it was like my ears were filled with cotton, they were ringing. I closed my eyes for a bit and the ringing stopped. She was no longer in front of me but beside me with a med kit, I looked at her and her eyes were wide with concern “ are you okay?” She asked.“no I said scratchily “not really” Sam now reappeared with a bunch of the boys “ok, y/n Right? I nodded “ what happened ” I swallowed panickedly suddenly aware of what just happened I opened my mouth and just started rambling “ I was just at my friends house and we were walking through the woods messing around, and this guy just showed up out of know where acting bat shit craz, he launched himself at me and my friend ran to get help.” I said on the verge of tears started to hyperventilate with reopened panic. I felt Emily hand on my arm rubbing small circles on my skin soothingly. Sam looked at me anger and simpithy in his gaze “ we called the police they should be here soon but do you feel like you have any broken bone or anything really wrong?” I shook my head “me head just hurts I said in a strained voice, the lights were dancing infront of my eyes and I couldn’t see clearly. One of the boys I think his name was Jacob, Bella talks of him constantly asked “ how far away is your friends house we should go check on her” I looked up and tried to think “ uh it’s close to the gas station like a mile away from it” then I shook my head “ I’m sorry I can’t remember the address” alright we will go and check up on her” Emily then shooed the boys out and tried to tend to my wounds while cooing at me softly, I really liked her, she smelled like cinnamon and a fire place. When I heard sirens I stood up at her protest and tried to walk to the door but it was more like limping all the adrenaline had worn off and now I was hurting.. badly. I pushed open the screen door and saw Charlie I immediately pushed my self into his arms crying, he hugged me tight. Charlie was a fimaliar face in all of this

and I couldn’t help but cling to him, I’m friends with Bella swan his daughter and he’s also my dads bestfriend. He loaded me up in his cruiser and raced me to the hospital. 

The next couple hours were a blur, I had a very severe concussion a sprained wrist and a large gash on my head and arm. Luckily they weren’t very deep. They kept me over night, my friend that was with me, Mary, was alright just shaken up. She had called the police when she made it back to her house. 

I was taken home the following morning and boy was I glad, I was so bored and the nurse had bad vibes. My mom and dad were hysterical hugging me and crying and just felt so detached like it hadn’t really happened, I knew I would have to deal with this new trauma sometime but not now. I know this is so shallow but after I came to my senses as I was lying there in the hospital bed all I could think about was how bad I must have looked and how GOOD all those la push boys looked, it’s mortifying to think about the state I must have been in, well that I’m in I still hadn’t been able to shower and I was in a hospital gown. Eventually my mom and dad took me home, my mom was hovering and I guess that’s to be expected, I took a shower and brushed my hair and changed into pajama pants and i put on my favorite maroon hoodie, my glasses had broke when it all went down, so I had my backup old pair which wasn’t my full prescription but better then nothing. My head of curly hair was a total and absolute mess when I looked in the mirror before my shower, in fact all of me was, my hair was matted with blood and my forehead had a deep cut and bruises were blooming along my skin. I was able to have today to rest but tomorrow I had to go in for my statement but that’s for another day today I was going to pass out in my own bed and sleep for the next 15 hours.

[misswarmnights]

Soothed After A Bad Dream

Fandom: Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man

Summary: Jimmy comforts his big teddy bear brother-in-law Jack after he has a nightmare.

Characters: Jack Daniels, Jimmy Jiles

Word Count: 1,299

Jack woke up from his nightmare in a cold sweat. He sat up, alone in his bed, hyperventilating and shaking in fear. He looked over at his wife’s side of the bed. She wasn’t there. Lulu was away from home visiting her mother. Jack was alone in the dark bedroom. The only sounds were his pounding heart and heavy breathing. He put on boxer shorts and went down to the kitchen to get a drink of water. He sat down at the table with his glass of water, trying to calm himself down.

Lulu’s brother, Jimmy, was staying over while Lulu was away. He had been asleep on the couch but was awoken by the noise when Jack came down. He went to the kitchen to check on Jack.

“Hey, are you okay?” Jimmy asked, rubbing his sleepy eyes.

“I had a bad dream,” Jack said softly.

Jimmy came over, yawned, and sat down next to Jack. “Want to talk about it?”

As Jack thought about his bad dream, his eyes filled with tears. Jimmy could NOT BEAR to see Jack cry.

“Damn it, Jack. Please don’t do that.”     

“Sorry,” Jack said, wiping away the tears.

“You don’t have to be sorry,” Jimmy said gently. “But there’s really nothing to cry about. It was just a dream.”

Jack sniffled and wiped his runny nose on his arm. “It was horrible.”

“Do you want to tell me about it?”

Jack closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He began to talk about his dream, his deep voice trembling as he spoke.

“I dreamed that Lulu left me for another man. She said that she didn’t love me anymore. A bunch of people started laughing at me. They threw rocks at me and hit me in my head, chest, and tummy, but my broken heart hurt worse than anything else.” Jack paused for a moment to inhale a shaky breath before continuing.

“Then all of my friends said they hated me and that I would be alone forever. I took my knife and started to slice open my own throat…and then I woke up.”

“Oh man,” Jimmy said, his dark eyes full of pity.

Jack couldn’t hold back any longer. His eyes squeezed shut, his lip trembled, and the tears leaked from his sweet eyes.

“Hey,” Jimmy said, patting Jack’s arm comfortingly. “There’s nothing to cry about.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for.”

“I feel like such a baby,” Jack whined, roughly wiping the tears off his cheeks. He felt ashamed of himself for making such a fuss. “It’s pretty silly to cry over bad dreams.”

“You had a nightmare. It’s okay to be scared, but you know that nightmares have nothing to do with reality,” Jimmy explained to him. “Lulu loves you, and I know that she would never leave you. I mean, I know that she can be a pain sometimes, but she really does love you. You should hear the way she brags about you.”

“She does?”

“Of course. She loves to tell everyone about her big, strong, wonderful husband. There are lots of people who care about you so much…including me. I love you, Jack.”

Jack smiled. “I love you, too.”

Jimmy hugged Jack.

“Nobody is going to hurt my favorite brother-in-law. Not on my watch,” Jimmy said.

“Thanks,” Jack said.

Jimmy patted Jack gently on his back. “Now let’s try to get some sleep, okay?”

“I’m not ready to go back to sleep yet,” Jack said, anxiously picking up his glass of water and taking a sip. His huge hands started to tremble again as he feared more nightmares in his future.

“That’s okay,” Jimmy said, soothingly. “I’ll stay up with you until you’re ready. Is there anything else I can do for you?”

Jack thought about it. “When I was a kid, Mom used to make me hot chocolate when I couldn’t sleep.”

Jimmy looked over at the stove. “Do you want me to make you some?”

Jack considered, but he shook his head. “No, you don’t have to do that.”

“Listen, Jack. When you go back to sleep, try to think about happy things. Think about the good times that you and Lulu had together. Think about the good times that we’ve had with our buddies. Think only happy thoughts.”

“Okay, I’ll try that.”

“Think about anything that makes you happy. You could think about drinking beer and whiskey, eating an ice cream sundae, going to the beach, having a picnic…”

“Being tickled,” Jack added, a red blush on his cheeks.

Jimmy chuckled. “Yes, I know you like to be tickled.”

Jack looked down for a moment, biting his lip. Then he looked at Jimmy with puppy dog eyes.

“Uh, Jimmy? I think some tickling might make me feel better. Umm, would you…”

“No, Jack. I will not tickle you,” Jimmy said firmly.

Jack made a sad face.

Jimmy rolled his eyes and sighed. He just had to give in. “Oh, alright, you win. But…please don’t tickle me back.”

“Okay, I won’t. Promise.” Jack smiled excitedly.

Jimmy came over and tickled Jack in his ribs, causing him to laugh loudly. He squirmed and slid out of his chair onto the floor. Jimmy stopped tickling and waited for Jack to get back into his seat.

“Lift up your arm,” Jimmy ordered.

“I can’t!” Jack said with a nervous giggle.

“You asked for this.”

“Okay…”

Jack raised his arm and let Jimmy’s finger tickle his armpit.

“HAHAHAHA!” Jack laughed, slamming his arm back down. “Stop, that tickles!”

Then Jimmy tickled the back of Jack’s neck and made him squeal with more laughter. His squirms and joyful laughs turned his plump cheeks rosy red.

Jimmy was glad that he decided to tickle Jack. It was worth it to see that big, happy smile on Jack’s face.

“There, that’s enough,” Jimmy said, patting Jack on the shoulder. “Now I think it’s time to get our asses back to bed. What do you say?”

Jack smiled and nodded yes. He was feeling better now. “Thanks for everything, Jimmy.”

“No problem, but I still don’t understand how you enjoy being tickled. I can’t stand it!” Jimmy said with a shudder.

Jack became curious about something. “Hey, Jimmy, what is your most ticklish spot?”

“I’m not telling you that!” Jimmy said, startled. “No way. That’s private.”

“Oh, come on. You can trust me. Where are you most ticklish?”

“I won’t tell you.”

“I’m just curious. Tell me!”

“No.”

Then Jack yawned. “Actually, I am kind of sleepy. I think it is time to go to bed.”

“Have good dreams this time,” Jimmy said.

“Thanks again,” Jack said.

They hugged and said goodnight to each other. Then Jimmy went back to sleep on the couch, and Jack went back upstairs to the bedroom.

Jack got into bed and pulled the blanket up to his beard. He closed his eyes and let his mind drift off to a happy place. He remembered his childhood and those sleepless nights spent bonding with his mother over delicious hot chocolate. He remembered the day that he and Lulu got married. The day he and Lulu went to the beach, he got buried in the sand, and she tickled his feet. He remembered the day he and Jimmy looked through an old photo album and then shared yummy ice cream. The day Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man returned to the Rock N’ Roll Bar and Grille and they had a play fighting match and a nice reunion. He thought about those big burps he would let out after a great beer, and that thought made him chuckle. He thought about something that he wanted for Christmas.

Sweet, beautiful dreams welcomed Jack as he fell asleep, knowing that he was loved.

The End

[gatorcatally]

I need help.

My cat has anxiety but he also has a bad habit of tearing things up, carpet, walls, furniture, people if he’s in a bad mood. I’m not evil so I would never declaw him. So I wanted to try claw caps. I was worried about them originally because CJ won’t even wear a collar. If you try to put one on him, he will bite and claw at his own neck until he’s bleeding to get it off. But we needed a solution to his clawing and we tried everything else. Playing, scratch towers, scratch mats, anything his little heart desires but none of it works. He might use his scratch objects occasionally but more often then not he’s destroying my mothers house.

I thought I would at least try the claw caps, they should be comfortable enough, they wouldn’t hurt at all, no scratching. Etc.

Now, after 45 minutes of struggling to get them on him, one is still on crooked even after reapplying it twice because he wouldn’t stop squirming. I’m worried some are stuck on his fur because again he wouldn’t stop squirming, by the time I got to his last paw he was exerting so many smells (he didn’t spray at least), he was shedding heavily, and when I didn’t let him go he straight up but down on my hand and wouldn’t let go. I had to call my mom downstairs to help me. I gave him some of his favorite wet food as a reward and tried to help him calm down because he was starting to hyperventilate from being held tight for so long.

He’s had them on for less than 30 minutes and at first he was just grooming himself which was normal. He was shedding a lot and it was a new sensation on his claws, I thought he might lick them so I wasn’t concerned. I sat down for a few minutes, and he ran under my bed after I finished helping him groom. He wants space? That’s fine, fair, so I let him go.

Not ten minutes later I hear the plastic clicking and grinding. I looked under my bed and boom, purple claw cap. So I told him to stop and tried to pull him out to make sure he didn’t hurt himself taking it off. A few minutes later, two more were off. At this point, he was trying to fucking swallow the evidence! Obviously they’re plastic and could block his digestive system so I grabbed him by his scruff and dragged him out, getting bitten the whole time, but I had to make sure he hadn’t actually eaten any.

I’ve been sitting on my bedroom floor trying to get him to play to distract him but he keeps running away. He keeps biting them off and I’m worried he’s going to make himself bleed, or worse swallow some, and block his digestive tract. I have to go to sleep soon because I have work in about 8 hours and he’s starting to calm down seeing as he’s no longer trying to eat his claws. I’m worried because I work at night, when he’s most active and I don’t want him to don anything stupid while I’m gone.

I also have bad anxiety and the reason he’s my cat now, and no longer the family cat is because I formally adopted him in college to use him as an emotional support animal.

I have given this cat everything he could ever want, and I love him so much but he makes me worry just as much. If anyone has any advice on how to deal with anxious or stubborn cats please tell me. I feel like I’ve tried everything or at least all the normal things and I need advice from real people not articles.

[petrifiedchild]

Last year was really confusing for me. Or, the year before leading into this last year.

kin; I was trying to sober up and move on with my life from a man who hurt me. I didn't know at the time, but I was Venia before. Vea left and I struggled after that, I would learn later Vea often left whenever I was hurt in that way.

I moved, and even started to look for a new job since I had gotten the experience I needed from that job. Finally, I was moving on with my life. Moving, getting married, looking for a better job. Everything was falling into place.

But, it was a little race against time. I had been forced back into the office the man hurt me in, and my anxiety was slowly raising. I had to raise my anxiety meds, and even had to get anxiety attack meds. I had to get sleep aide. I wasn't doing well. The man wasn't there anymore, long ago left and even moved a few states away. The fear, the attacks just walking out the doors every day, it was killing me.

When I tried to gain accessibility to full time working remote due to my PTSD I gained from the events that happened on their own property, they fired me. I didn't know then, but it would be a blessing in disguise. I would move on to work in my husband's foundry, and found it a very easy and enjoying task for me.

The schedule would give me 3 day weekends. The pay increase was noticeable. Both together, giving my husband and I more time together, brought us closer. Breakfast dates every Friday, often a dinner date on one of our work days. Bowling on Friday. Hiking on Saturdays with our best friend. Sundays are spent going to our family's. Our social life bloomed, in it's own small introverted ways.

During that time, though, some people in my life started to be so, judgemental. I know I was always, bad with expressing myself, but I always ignored it. If my friends were calm and questioned me, I was able to articulate what I really meant. I didn't mean poor things, I just said poor things. I am quite understanding and kind, all things considered.

Since I was meeting more people, they started to notice. It was easy for it not to be a problem amongst most men I met, like in real life, we hung out and worked and shot the shit. The women at work, though, hated how short I was with my words, how I needed just the important information, not their stories, because it would only confuse my simple brain. I'm unsure where the resentment started, but they eventually found plenty to complain about, plenty of me not being great with socializing for them to criticize.

The worst is my stutter. It gets worse in the face of people like that, my stutter, mutism, panic. The more I stuttered, the more they hated me. No idea why that one upset them. They hated that I was scared of them. An aggressive, "What's wrong? Why are you doing this? You act like I'm about to hit you, you know you have to work with other people, right?" And the more aggressive, longer they go on, the more I shake, tears start to form, I hyperventilate.

If I walked away, they would follow me, hounding me. Not just aggressive tone, they would be yelling at me by this point.

The assumptions were upsetting at best. Comments about sobriety, comments about how I was lucky my partner was still with me with how I acted, berating me on how slow or poor I was at my job. It reminded me of my mom. It hurt. My mom was always insisting I meant the most horrible things with every single action. It would make me wish I was.

Online was a refuge to this harassment, and then my friends... Started to do a similar thing. I would get sent assumptions. About my feelings, the things I posted, things I did. They upset me. They made me feel just as hurt and attacked as my supervisor made me feel.

The things my coworker, and supervisor did, were just projections. In retrospect, the things my friends said, were also projections. Not necessarily that they did these poor assumptions, or thought them from their perspective, just thinking I did. Likely learned behavior, like their own parent having mean assumptions, much like my parent did. The more like parents I have with others, the more they dislike me. It happens. It's like looking in a mirror, and people don't like doing that. It wasn't my friends fault, but somewhere they were hurt deeply.

It hurt so bad, I couldn't figure out how to articulate to them I didn't think the things they did. I would get defensive, angry, that my friends would think such horrible things. It made me bitter, resentful. I was so hurt, just like in the face of my supervisor, I had no idea how to actually defend myself.

I didn't know how to calmly let them know it wasn't true, but to offer understanding why they misunderstood, and offering compromises. I was hurt and scared, and because of this harassment I faced by my coworker and supervisor, I had fully relapsed. In the face of this hurt, I would just get high. I would get high, and I know I would split. I know I would be hateful, and hated myself after, and hated anything I ever said.

I had lashed out at these friends, who had done nothing other than be victim to their own intrusive thoughts/poor learned behaviors/clear abuse.

The time away from my old job, though, and spending that time with my husband, moving on despite the poor things happening with my supervisor and friends, started to bring something out. Something strange.

It was stronger due to the drugs, but I recognized it. It was me, and I couldn't think of a name at the time, but I knew it wasn't me. It needed a name. It was the parts of me I lost due to the man hurting me. Sometimes she was alone, other times I felt complete, I knew I was Venia. Venia was easier to name, I just had to find something realistic and familiar I could be called, as me, the whole me. It's just my name, simple enough. So, it's my name. Venia. I've always been Kin from some old username I made. Might as well go with my name for, me.

Vea named herself, apparently just spelling what she was always "called" anyway, "V". Our initial. It was cute. It was nice. It was like her.

I came out as Venia pretty quickly to my friends, slowly introducing them to the idea of the people in my head. It was just as new to me as them. They were understanding, and nice, and accepting. It was nice.

Vea was so nice, and Ven could identify so many problem aspects in our life, during our time together. I remember the hard decision to leave one of my friends, but Ven decided it was particularly easy when she stopped us from splitting on them, and blocking them instead. She knew we fell into a cycle, victims to the people in our head, victims to whoever was hurting us. For me, my supervisor. We were just fulfilling some cycle of abuse, while not even being abusers ourselves. Strange cycle of self victimization. It makes more sense how abusers come about. We've both been to therapy sense, and I couldn't be more proud that they're out there somewhere, breaking such cycles too.

Dealing with this cycle, I learned I didn't have to abide by the rules of these people in our heads. My mom, or my friend/their wrong assumptions. I could continue to be me, and say what I mean only. I didn't have to be victim anymore to what people said I did, I could apologize for what I did, and say what I meant, and not be held accountable for the bad. I didn't mean the bad. I mean, I guess if it was some big bad, I would be fine being held accountable, but a misunderstanding? Other people's wrong assumptions/the intrusive thoughts in their heads? No. It wasn't me.

They really helped me learn such a thing. They were so mature and managed to get such help themself, at a young age, without the intervention of being hurt the way I was to get it. I was so happy for them, I'm still so happy for them.

And the best part, was my coworkers getting verbal and then written warnings around the time I ended that friendship, they got written up for their horrid actions and words to me. I had learn how to control myself better, and they were stopped for now. This was when I hurt my hand, March? April? This year. All this text covered about a year from start to this point.

The rest of this time, was sad, knowing I was in some of a cycle with one more friend, the other similar to me and this other I had to cut off. They didn't do as well with my changes and efforts. They seemed to be angrier every time I felt I was making progress. They almost seemed to be aggressive in any interaction with me. I thought maybe they were just like that with everyone, and moved on. They once even told me I shouldn't think that, and so I just ignored it.

Ah, I had felt Ven and Vea take over a few times writing, and I feel myself fully back writing this part. It's difficult.

It was coming to a peak recently, and I kept trying to stay away from them, let them say what they want, and just keep extending kindness. I got the feeling they didn't realize they were victim to their intrusive thoughts or self victimization too, but at the end of that all, it's not like they had no reason to be that scared. I had fucked up so badly once, I was thankful they could try to get past it, but seemed it only fueled their intrusive thoughts. A fuck up that really made me want to change, that made me aware I suffered splitting and intrusive thoughts in the first place.

How could I ever comfort them or take poor thoughts away, when I was more than a poor thought? It wasn't my place. They tried their best. Which, is something I can say about my other friend too, and well, me.

In the end, when they were acting up again, and it fueled my own delusions, I just blocked them anyway. Seems to be a theme, I know not to fall to my delusions, or intrusive thoughts. Venia blocked this friend because she was intensely worried about the last post this friend made. She had every right to, it brought three days now of memories. It's too much, my mom, the animals, it's more than I can take at times, and I wish I hadn't even looked. I was curious, but trusted Venia's decision.

I should have trusted it more.

For some reason, it feels like I could breathe again though. Free of the last one who was holding me accountable for the horrible things I did, and now I can truly move on. I can recover more, I can be happy, I don't have to worry about hurting them more.

There's a tightness in my chest, but a hope. I could scream, I want to scream, something mournful to express how bad it felt to hurt them, and express how good it is I can't hurt them anymore. How could I truly express that? They were who I hurt that made me want to change. They were who made me see I needed to improve, even if I wasn't truly a monster. The things I did were insensitive, at best, and I couldn't understand why people would still "be hurt" after I said "no i didn't i did this", it was because in their eyes, it is denying it, rather "i didn't *mean* to, i am so sorry that's how it came out/i am so sorry i did that, i meant *this* with that action" and learning how to better express it next time, so i don't hurt them. then again, it's a two way street. The reason it was easier to self improve for the other, they communicated with me. This one never did.

It's understanding and communication on both sides. It's often understanding on both sides.

I met someone who taught me how to, rather. I could write a post this long, or longer, with detail of them, but probably best I don't.

I don't know anything anymore, I'm rambling, it's alright though.

I learned a lot this last year, and while I had to somehow figure out the people in my head, place it all together, I met some extraordinary people. I met two people who became friends, and who I fell into cycles with, and because they're just two victims too, it ended... So much better than others in my life.

Ended with the most maturity that both sides could manage each side each time, and I never felt so... Lovely when losing people before. We tried, we talked, we changed, we all worked together. Sure I might say there was a lack of x or x in some areas, but it's hardly the main problem. I hurt them somewhere, I did, it's not some side thing, I did hurt them. Unlike my supervisor, who literally made me a victim. There's a difference. I was happy that I could separate them from that role the whole time.

I'm happy I got better when losing the last one, I hope I continue the trend. I'm happy the first one got better, I hope the second one continues the trend. I'm so happy we all tried, even if we couldn't succeed together, I'm so happy we all get to recover, I'm happy I get to remember two good people who... Tried. Who were my friends, who have their own lives, their own battles and demons, their own successes and dreams. I won't get to be a part of their futures, but the lessons I've learned I'll carry with me forever. Important lessons. Lessons they helped me be aware of or even start that I needed.

I learned I could be me, not the people everyone tries to insist I am. Only I get to say who I am, I get to act out who I am, I get to practice my advice and be me. I get to relate to others, I get to tell them my thoughts and feelings, and they get to accept them, and if they don't I just move on. It's no skin off my back. Even in my worst moments I know to pull back more. Then again, a lot of my improvement is my sobriety. Lacking currently, day 3 of my amazing binge. That means my 72 hours is a end and I should probably listen to that... I'm feeling so good I might as well. I say in a high moment. ;P

[tatsuo-k]

I'm here

Comfort fluff with Levi bc I'm feeling very sad and I love Levi with my entire heart. This is also the first time I've written something in about 3-4 years?? So I'm sorry in advance if this isn't good lmao </3

You're having a little meltdown bc of your head while sleeping in Levi's room and he does his best to comfort you

It was unusual that you would fall asleep after Levi but here you were tonight. Your boyfriend asleep while you were wide awake at some ungodly hour of the night. Thoughts were piling up slowly the longer you stayed awake, you just wanted to sleep and ignore the thoughts until you woke up the next day. You kept tossing and turning, getting more and more frustrated when you weren't able sleep. You sat up to try and get out of bath tub bed to maybe go on a walk, grab a glass of water from the kitchen even. Even if you wanted to, your body didn't want you to —so you stayed sitting up with a weighted blanket resting on your legs.

Your thoughts got louder, some were just repeating in your head like a broken record, some were just harsh words. You felt insecure, annoyed, upset if it wasn't obvious. Why can't they go away for one night? You had such a lovely day with your boyfriend, spending the whole day shut inside his room, binge watching anime that had really long titles that spoiled the whole plot, playing games with him even though he bested you in almost all of them, only letting you win just to see you erupt with joy. It made him warm seeing you get so happy over winning a match.

"Y/n, you're moving around a lot," A soft, tired voice interrupted your spiralling thoughts. He rubbed his eyes and noticed how you were sitting up.

"I can't sleep..."

"Are... Are you feeling okay? Most of the time w-when I can't sleep, it's usually because my stupid brain won't stop thinking." He pushed himself up, now sitting next to you.

"Yeah, well no, but--" you were interrupted with the feeling of tears running down your cheeks. You took in a deep breath to try and calm yourself down. Levi panicked, not expecting to see you crying minutes after waking up. "I-It's just... It's like you said, I can't stop thinking and there's so many thoughts crowding my head and--" Your breath started becoming rapid, you were hyperventilating now. It's getting worse.

"Y/n, can you look at me?" He moved to sit in front of you and grabbed your hands, being very cautious not to make any sudden movements in case it made things worse. "Breathe with me, okay?" It hurt him to see you in such a state. He started taking deep breaths in and out, making sure that you were doing the same. He listened to your breathing, giving your hands a small squeeze whenever he noticed your breathing acting up again. Whilst he was doing the breathing exercise with you, he was thinking of ways that helped him when he was having one of those nights. What would he have wanted on nights like these?

"I'm sorry... I woke you up and now you have to put up with me like this." You spoke up after calming down a bit.

"Hey... I'm not putting up with anything if it's you. You aren't a hassle for me. I-I care about you a lot y/n, I want to be able to help you w-when you feel like this." He spoke in a hushed tone, almost a whisper but not quite. Once he feels like you've calmed down enough, he asks his next question, "Is... Is there anything I can do to help you? I can go grab my headphones and you can try and drown out your thoughts? That helps me out a lot."

"You're already helping me enough Levi. I would like it if you could grab your headphones though." You nodded at his suggestion, watching him almost immediately scurry out of the bathtub to go grab his headphones for you, tripping on the way to his desk. He quickly walked back to the bed, grabbing his phone before seating himself back next to you. He gently placed the headphones on your head, letting you adjust them if they were sitting uncomfortably. He lowered the volume before playing some white noise (or lofi or some relaxing music, whatever suits you better), knowing that he always sets his volume up too high without realising. He doesn't want to accidentally deafen you.

You moved yourself closer to him, wrapping your arms around his torso as you leaned onto his shoulder. It was a peaceful silence, it wasn't awkward like it used to be at the beginning of the relationship. He leaned against one arm for support and placed his other hand on your shoulder, rubbing his thumb up and down at a slow pace. He looked down at you, it filled him with a flood of relief noticing that your breathing has steadied, your face wasn't filled with distress anymore, more rather peace. He brushed your hair to the side so he can plant a small kiss to your forehead. Oh man, he feel his heart RACING from just that.

"I love you, Levi. Thank you for doing this for me." You muttered. "You helped a lot."

"I... I will do anything to keep you happy, y/n. You've helped me in the past before when I have bad nights and I want to help you too when you go through it... I love you too."

-----

I didn't do this justice at all but I hope you guys enjoyed this as much as I did writing this! He's a bit OOC in this, I know but it's how I see how he would be if he's in a long term relationship with MC 👉👈 this man has my heart wow <3

[star-going-supernova]

Here’s another idea for a crossover: Siblings Gregory and Vanessa explore the basement of the Pizzaplex, only to get separated. Gregory finds Vanessa, but something’s wrong. She’s quiet and nervous, and when Gregory sees the back of her neck, he notices a scar that definitely wasn’t there before. Meanwhile, Strings ‘verse Gregory is bewildered as to why Vanessa is suddenly much more confident and protective of him, and why she’s calling him Munchkin.

Tumblr generated prompt number 28! While this one’s on the longer side, I think the AU crossovers are better suited to tumblr. I definitely like this swap configuration, but I decided to go with Vanessa and Gregory each meeting their own counterpart. Warning for angst ahead: Siblings!Vanessa accidentally sends strings!Vanessa into a panic attack. Also, this is in siblings!Vanessa’s POV, so the doppelgänger/other Vanessa is strings ‘verse.

End of the World

Vanessa laughed nervously. “What the hell.” 

The other Vanessa hunched in on herself, cowering almost, and stared with shocked, frightened eyes. 

When her doppelgänger didn’t respond, Vanessa said, “No seriously, what the hell. Who are you supposed to be? Is this a trick? A joke?” She tightened her grip on her crowbar, squaring her shoulders back.

The copycat flinched, taking a shaky step backward. “I—I…”  

Remembering how Gregory had described the half-robot creep in the bunny costume as being able to mimic her voice, her eyes narrowed. “Don’t tell me you’re that scumbag bunny thing who kidnapped Gregory. Did I not cave your chest in hard enough last time?” 

And hoo boy, that got a reaction from this all-wrong Vanessa. She cringed back with an anguished cry, sliding down to the floor the moment her back hit the wall. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” she gibbered, breath speeding up. “I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry.” She dissolved into a mess of unintelligible panic, shaking apart at Vanessa’s feet. 

Okay. This didn’t seem in character for the stalker who spent months threatening Vanessa’s life to the tune of giggly laughter. 

“Uh,” Vanessa said, scuffing her shoe against the floor. Her doppelgänger continued to hyperventilate. She’d try to help but doubted she’d do anything but make things worse. “Geez, okay, so you’re not her. Who are you then?” 

Between heaving gulps for air, the other Vanessa, perhaps predictably, gasped out, “Vanessa, I’m Vanessa.” 

“Well we’ve got a bit of a problem with that,” she said, crouching down so she wasn’t looming quite so threateningly anymore. She laid her crowbar over her knees. “Because I’m Vanessa.” 

“I want to wake up,” the weepy Vanessa cried. “Please, let me wake up.” 

Yikes. She actually felt bad now for taking the aggressive route. “All right, all right, let’s not panic. I’m sure this is just a misunderstanding.” Hell of a misunderstanding, considering they looked identical down to the security guard uniform. “Sorry for the hostility,” she said awkwardly, figuring it might be a good place to start, “but I’ve got to keep my brother safe. And, uh, like I said. A weird robot bunny person kidnapped him.” 

“Br-brother?” 

“Yeah, Gregory. He—”

“He’s, Gregory’s your brother?” Her surprise seemed to shock her out of her head a bit, and her eyes grew a little more aware.

“Yes!” she snapped. Vanessa took a deep breath to try and calm down. “Yes, Gregory’s my little brother. I guess you don’t…” What, have one? Know him? This was confusing. 

“He’s not my brother,” the other Vanessa said, hiccuping. “He made me adopt him, though.” 

She wrinkled her nose. “Huh. So I guess we’re not really the same.” 

They fell into silence for a minute while the clearly much more traumatized Vanessa continued to calm down. She kept one of her hands clamped tightly over the back of her neck, the other clenching the front of her shirt. Tears continued to trickle down her face even when the sobs petered out. 

It was… weird. Seeing someone who looked just like her but seemed so different. Her first impression was that this one was scared and, well, weak wasn’t the word Vanessa was looking for. To have survived whatever happened—and something had clearly happened to her—she obviously wasn’t weak. But this copycat who made herself small didn’t give off a “crowbar swinging” vibe. She was a fighter who wasn’t a fighter. 

“Why do you have a crowbar?” the other Vanessa whispered after a while. 

“To beat stupid robots over the head. You don’t have one?” 

She shook her head, eyes wide. Her one hand was still pressed to the back of her neck. 

“I don’t need it as often now that the animatronics aren’t trying to rip me limb from limb, but when I’m hunting down weird noises in the basement? I still don’t trust those endos.”

“The… the animatronics were trying to hurt you?” 

“Yours didn’t? Hell, lucky you, I guess.” 

“They worked with me,” the shivering Chihuahua of a Vanessa whispered, barely audible. Guilt twisted her expression, and she looked down at her lap. “I was, I was the bunny. Vanny.” 

Personally, Vanessa couldn’t see it. “You were killing night guards?” 

“Wha—no. Why would I kill night guards? Or, I guess, why would someone make me kill night guards?” Almost desperate, she leaned forward. “Because that’s, that’s what it was. Someone was making me.” Her fingers, just visible around the curve of her neck, tightened, digging into her skin. “I swear, I didn’t want to hurt anyone.” 

“The bunny here tore apart night guards. I mean, all the animatronics did, but…” 

“No, no, it was… it was. Kids.” 

“Someone made you kill kids?” Wow, so traumatized was an understatement. 

Covering her face with her free hand, the other Vanessa slouched further down like she was trying to curl up and hide away, trembling faintly. She nodded. 

“Geez, all I had to do was not die.” She never would have expected to think she’d had it easy at her job. 

There were a lot of things she never would have expected—another being meeting her doppelgänger. How had this even happened? How did the other Vanessa end up in Vanessa’s pizzaplex? How did they get her back to wherever she was from? 

This was enough to induce a headache. 

And if that wasn’t enough, the slap of sneakers was rapidly approaching. 

When she turned to try and keep Gregory from freaking the other Vanessa out, she really shouldn’t have been surprised to find two Gregorys coming closer. 

“The end of the world is upon us,” she said, looking between them. Two Gregorys; the universe couldn’t handle this. 

Unlike her and the other Vanessa, there were pretty immediate differences between the boys. Though they too were identically dressed, the other Gregory was a little taller, so maybe a little older? Odd, but maybe her own copycat was also older; it was just harder to tell with adults sometimes. 

And there was something in their eyes. Her Gregory’s eyes were bright with mischief and happiness. The other’s mischief was muted, tempered by something old. An old soul, as people would say, though Vanessa had never seen a real kid who actually fit the bill. 

But the biggest difference was that her brother immediately snickered in response and shot back, “Forget ‘end of the world,’ I’m pretty sure this is the beginning of a horror movie.” 

“We’re not here to steal your lives,” the other Gregory said, sounding like it was not the first time he’d done so. 

Her Gregory leaned forward, eyeing the other Vanessa. “What’d you do, crowbar first, ask questions later?” 

She sent him a Look, and he stuck his tongue out at her. 

The other Gregory, meanwhile, carefully joined his Vanessa on the floor. The way she zeroed in on him like he was the only light in a pitch black room prompted Vanessa to stand and nudge her brother back. That didn’t seem like it was for them. 

Once they’d gotten an appropriate distance away, Gregory whispered, “Is yours as weird as mine? ’Cause mine has never beaned anyone with a brick or tried to take someone out at the kneecaps.” 

“They’re not even related,” Vanessa hissed back, tucking him close. Gosh, she couldn’t imagine not having Gregory as a brother. “And she was the bunny!” 

“Yeah, yeah, he mentioned mind control? Haha, what?” 

“She asked why I had a crowbar!” 

“A Vanessa without a crowbar,” he echoed, sounding horrified. “Now that’s the end of the world.” 

[mrs-bartowski]

Brace for impact y'all cuz my brain is being Extra Rude this fine Sunday. OKAY, so...

What with Lena's new unemployment status, obviously we have all these hcs about her being unable to afford the penthouse and moving in with Kara.

Then of course we have all the accompanying hcs about Lena's time in the apartment between now and when Kara gets back (blanket sniffing, inability to sleep in Kara's bed, ready-to-pack corner of belongings so as to not alter Kara's home, and all those other super fun things that make me wanna cry).

I see all of those (and love them) and I raise you one: the Mxy tapes.

So, we see right after Mxy leaves when Kara picks up "The One Where Lena Decided To Work With Lex" which is what, in combination with her realization that telling Lena the truth always has "huge" consequences, motivates her to make that super OOC decision to absolve herself entirely of her guilt and tell Lena she'll treat her like a villain if she works with Lex, yes?

Now, what if that wasn't the only tape Mxy left behind? What if he left a recording of each of those alternate timelines because, after seeing Kara twist what she learned to fit her frustration over Lena's continued cold shoulder and hearing what she said to Lena, Mxy decided she might want to watch them again at some point to remember the real takeaway: she's fighting for the relationship that saves the world...

Kara found the tapes stacked on the coffee table when she got home, with a note that said "You found the magic. Now don't lose it." She wanted to get angry, but instead she just put the tapes in a box on the shelf under the TV and tried to forget about them.

----------

Lena's hand shakes slightly as she slides the key into the lock, feeling the ghost of Alex’s hand rest gently on her shoulder as it had when she’d pressed the cold metal into her palm a few hours earlier with a silent offer and an encouraging nod. The door swings open slowly, and Lena is hit by a sudden wave of cold. Not temperature, but energy. It’s too quiet - no NSYNC on the speaker or Bachelorette on the TV. It’s too empty - no smell of fresh (slightly burnt) bread or yarn strewn all over the counter from Kara’s various crochet projects. It’s too...Kara-less.

Lena shakes off the feeling and slides her bag off her shoulder in the corner by the bookcase, careful not to knock Kara’s favorite cinnamon candle off the stool beside her, as she tells Alexa to play Nina Simone. She zips open her bag to pull out her favorite copy of Mrs. Dalloway and finds it missing. Realizing she must have left it in her desk drawer at LexCorp, Lena makes a mental note to send Brainy in after it tomorrow with the promise that he can change all of Lex’s passwords one more time before they leave the game for good.

Lena stares at the blank TV screen for a moment, dreading the thought of watching anything in this room without Kara’s head on her shoulder or in her lap. So, she crouches to look at the shelves of the TV stand, hoping to find at least one of the books she’d gotten Kara for her birthday last year wedged between the latest issues of CatCo Magazine and the recipe books Alex had gotten her in the hopes of spending less money on pot stickers every week.

She’s just zeroed in on The Color Purple when she notices a box she doesn’t recognize laying across the tops of the books on the other shelf. She reaches for it on instinct, then hesitates. She hasn’t touched anything of Kara’s since their falling out, and what if Kara’s “what’s mine is yours” rule no longer applies to her now? She considers leaving it alone and waiting for Kara to get back and explain, sliding The Color Purple toward her without taking her eyes off the box, before her curiosity gets the better of her and she caves, tossing the book onto the coffee table.

She opens the lid and starts at the sight of VHS tapes. Hasn't she taught Kara better than this? They'd converted all her old tapes to DVDs months into their friendship ("Kara, these things deteriorate so easily and the picture quality becomes awful, don't you want something that will last?"). She picks up the first tape and reads the label on the side: "The One Where Lena Doesn't Make It Back In Time." Her brows furrow as she stares, unblinking, at the title - demanding answers she knows only one person can give her.

She glances around, but doesn't see a VHS player anywhere, so she sets the tape on the floor beside her and picks up the next one. "The One Where Lena Can't Save Sam Or Herself." Lena shoves down her growing horror and discards the tape, hoping the next one will be less ominous. She picks it up and chokes back a sob as she reads: "The One Where There Are No Survivors."

Lena can't wait for answers anymore, so she gathers the tapes back into the box, grabs her purse and Kara's key, and heads to the closest library. Lena finds the old CRT sitting on a rolling cart in the back corner of the library, tucked between the stacks of kids' books. She pulls the first tape out of the box and slides it carefully into the slot.

30 minutes later, with tears and too-cheap eyeliner streaming down her face, Lena picks up the last tape. "The One Where Lena Was Never Your Friend." And here she'd thought things couldn't get worse. Lena takes a deep breath as she inserts the tape.

At the sight of the ruin that meets Kara and Mxy, Lena stifles the urge to laugh. Of course this is what a world without her best friend looks like. This exactly how it feels now, and she's only been gone a few weeks.

Lena's breath catches as she hears herself ask "who's Kara?," the mere thought of a world where the reporter had never believed in her, never cared enough to love her, almost too much to bear. Her hand drifts absent-mindedly to her chest as she watches herself reveal a kryptonite heart, and for a moment she can hear the sounds of her own screams as her mother's experiments rob her of the last of her humanity.

She presses her hand closer to her heart, sure that it's stopped beating at the sight of Kara on the ground, in pain at her hands but still refusing to fight her. Feels it shatter when her worst self says exactly the same words she'd said to Kara in the Fortress when asked why she had pretended to be Kara's friend for so long.

And she thinks it might kill her, this agony that's filling her body like acid. She wonders for a moment if this is what kryptonite feels like to Kara. Because it sure feels like her skin is getting seared off her bones and there are nails in her blood and it sure seems like she won't survive watching herself kill her best friend as she lies helpless and desperate on the floor.

And when Mxy pulls them out, Lena's breath returns full force until she's hyperventilating because Kara is gone and she doesn't know how long it will be until they get her back; and she was terrified of what she'd become when she lost Jack but she survived because of Kara; and if this is what losing Kara without ever having her in the first place looks like, Lena has never been more afraid than she is as she realizes what will happen to the world if she doesn't get Kara back. What she'll do to the world if it dares to take Kara from her.

So, when she gathers the tapes and goes to return them to the box and finds a note at the bottom that says "You found the magic. Now don't lose it," Lena promises herself that, for as long as she lives, she will do everything in her power to keep the magic that is Kara Danvers in her life.

----------

Alex knocks on the apartment door three days later and finds it unlocked. She pushes the door open and her hand drifts to her gun, but relaxes as she sees Lena's sleeping form curled up on the couch. Alex approaches a box she knows the contents of all too well and finds it open and empty on the table before she notices the VCR player and tapes strewn across the floor. She smiles softly as she recalls the image of Kara in the exact same position months earlier. And, as she carefully plucks the handwritten note from Lena's clutched fist, she smiles at the knowledge that, once Kara returns, no force in the world will be able to keep them apart again.

UPDATE: Ask and ye shall receive

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5