#and my sister got me to say like five sorrys in my emotionally damaged state to fix things from our three day straight argument

[plugnuts]

Forced to spend my time on a phone that doesn’t want to charge :)

This was supposed to be JohnKat day but I can’t participate and I can’t stop being sad :)

Yeah I can’t even use the happy face ironically today has been so bad I���m sorry I’m even posting this I just want to vent a bit I dunno :(

[fandomscombine]

The Hargreeves Kerfuffle Part 2: Family Reunion

The Hargreeves Kerfuffle Part 2: Family Reunion

The Hargreeves siblings x Hargreeves!Reader (Familial Relationship)

BG: The Reader is Number Eight. It follows how you fit into the structure of Season 1 and the family dynamic of the siblings.

This part follows the collapse of The Umbrella Academy during their youth and having the family back together after years apart for the very first time.

I have mashed up the information and some events from both the comics and the tv series. So a heads up for readers who haven’t read the comics, it was hinted in S2 but in the very beginning of the comics, it’s canon that Reginald is indeed an Alien.

The series will consist of 10 parts. Where the reader would have a focused interaction with each sibling. (Eg. After this part, it would be Luther x Reader, then Diego x Reader and so on! –Yes Ben is included)

WC: 4786 (never had I written so much for one part before!)

Contains: Angst. Death- Reginald and Ben (so not exactly a spoiler, but while writing Ben’s scene had my eyes water a bit.) Crap childhood and the Hargreeves being a mess.

A/N: You guys are literally the best! Reading your replies and comments about how much you enjoyed part 1 and are looking forward to the rest of the series, really warms my heart!

>>GENERAL MASTERLIST<<

>>THE HARGREEVES KERFUFFLE SERIES MASTERLIST<<

READ: [PART 1]  [PART 3]  [PART 4]

>>JOIN MY WRITING CHALLENGE!<<

~

March 21, 2019.  

Never had you thought that you would be back here, looking up the gates of The Umbrella Academy, 13 years later.

There was and still is so much pain associated with this building, this entity, this identity of The Umbrella Academy. That you hadn’t seen it coming- well not exactly completely blind to it. Sir Reginald Hargreeves’ upbringing of children-your siblings, your childhood- had always been shit but you had never come close to imaging it to be as emotionally and mentally damaging as it did.

Children at aged 7 finding out they had powers was great. To a kid, it was a dream come true to be a real-life superhero. It all started out as fun and games but soon, training started to be competitions to outshine your siblings-your competitors whist being told to work together at the same time. It was quite a hard concept to grasp as a young kid, but in order to get any attention and praise from a distant father, a kid would do anything.

By the age of 9, the superhero team of ‘The Umbrella Academy’ was officially announced to the world. The group consisted of the 7 Hargreeves children, publicly known as: Spaceboy, The Kraken, The Rumor, The Séance, The Boy, The Horror, and Foresight.

An 8th child with seemingly no superpower, had been secretly tucked away, hidden from the world and too, distanced away from her own siblings. It was though Vanya Hargreeves didn’t exist.

You did try your best to spend time with Vanya and keep the Sunday sister bonding time with her, but with all your training and missions, combined with all her violin lessons and some other private lessons she often go on with in long periods of time - though she wouldn’t mention what they were- there was absolutely no time to be in each other’s presence, so soon you along with the rest of your siblings slip away from Vanya.

At age 10 was a big year for the Hargreeves siblings, they had kind of successfully protected the city of Paris from the chaos of the Eiffel Tower being a spaceship- yes it did flew away but at least the people were saved- The mission became world wide news and soon every move they made caught the public’s eye. With this led to more intense training and additional etiquette workshops to better the group’s public image.

Reginald being a helicopter parent took a toll on the children, who had coped in their own ways. Luther taking the role of ‘leader’ to heart, Diego with his never ending hero complex, Allison using her power to get whatever she wanted, Klaus fell into the world of drugs and alcohol, Five-the rebel who thinks he’s smarter than everyone even dad, Ben into the world of video games, Vanya became ever more quiet and more to herself, and you-a yes person to dad who calls you his most valuable asset that has ever crossed his path, never wanting to let him down.

Things really started to get out of hand at the ripe old age of 13. Breakfast had been a mess, Five had a massive argument with dad and stormed out of the house. You ran after him, caught his coat just as he passed the gate- the very gate you are standing in front of now.

‘FIVE! WAIT!’

‘WHAT?’ He turned, looking angrier as ever.

‘Please don’t leave.’ You place your hand on his shoulder- damn when did he become taller than you? ‘You both can talk this out. Rationalized things out’ You pleaded.

He shook your hand away. ‘Talk? REALLY Y/N? You think good old dad would dare listen to someone younger than him? TO HIS OWN CHILDREN?’ He snorted. ‘You are daft y/n. I thought you were smarter than this-‘ Five sighed. ‘But a guess you are too much of a daddy’s girl to see things clearly.’

‘I know you didn’t mean that’ You stammered, not letting the tears fall. ‘that’s just your anger talking.’

‘oh but I do mean it. Now if you’d excuse me, I have to get going to prove dad wrong.’

Five makes a step forward but you blocked his way

‘GET OUT OF THE WAY Y/N’ He pushes you. ‘I DON’T WANT TO SEE YOUR FACE ANYMORE.’

As you fell to the ground, you see him blip away.

That was the last time anyone had seen Number Five and his final words still haunts you to this day.

‘get out of the way y/n! i don’t want to see your face anymore.’

To make matters worst from having a sibling disappear and to never come back was to have another sibling lose his life.

The media was quick to publish the news. It was all the tabloid and news outlets seem to care about. The headline would vary but all in all still carry the same heart-breaking news. Be it from ‘The Horror dies in mission.’ , ‘The Umbrella Academy loses the life of another of its members.’ to ‘RIP to teen superhero Ben Hargreeves aka The Horror.’

Oh Ben, dear Ben. Why must he be taken away? You thought. Why?

The mission was meticulously planned and prepared for. You were sure to have extracted all the information on what was to go down and what the villains’ moves were from your vision.

You had memorized that every aspect of that dream- you had 2 weeks to prepare. Everyone was supposed to be safe, but why wasn’t Ben?

Why didn’t reality play out as to what you foresaw? You had never slipped up before. Why had the one time you did cost you the life of your beloved brother? Why?

While sobbing your eyes out onto Ben’s grave, a memory of what seemed so long ago came rushing back.

~

>>‘I’m sorry y/n.’ He said leaning on your door frame.

‘Ben!’ You exclaimed. ‘I’m so glad you’re back up and running!’

Ben was caught off guard. ‘You—You’re not mad at me?’

‘Why would I be mad at you?’ You questioned, genuinely confused at your brother’s words.

‘Cause, Cause I almost got you killed. I am a monster.’

You sat up straight at those words, your ribs hurt a bit at the sudden movement, but you didn’t care. Your brother was blaming himself for something he couldn’t have controlled.

‘NO BEN!’

Ben jumped from your sudden outburst.

You motioned for him to come closer.

‘Ben…’ looking into his eyes. ‘Ben you are no monster.’

‘But—’

‘uuh uh I’m not done’ You held his hand in yours. ‘You are no monster what happened then was an accident, nobody knew, heck nobody expected powers to just show up. It was beyond anyone’s control. It took us by surprise.’

His shoulders relaxed.

‘It wasn’t your fault. I don’t blame you for what happened.’

He gave you a bone crushing hug. ‘Thank you y/n. You don’t know how guilty I was feeling.’ Voice muffled by your shoulder, which is now wet with his tears. ‘I kept thinking about the pain I caused you and I wasn’t allowed to leave my room even when I begged dad to see you and say sorry. y/n’

‘Shhh shhh’ Rubbing his back. ‘It’s alright Ben. What’s important is that we’re all here now. Alive, Safe and sound.’. <<

~

‘I’m sorry Ben…’ You choked out.

‘I’m so sorry Benny…’ Wiping his gravestone of your tears. ‘I—I got you killed. I am a monster. I am THE monster.’ You hiccupped. ‘It is MY job to keep everyone same, to do the reconnaissance, to ensure that everyone in the frontline is safe. It is my power to foresee what could go wrong, to avoid disastrous mistakes. And….and I failed, Ben. I failed. I failed you, dad, The Umbrella Academy.’

‘I miss you Ben so much…’ You lie down with an arm across the lawn. Picturing that is was him you’re hugging, that he is really there.’ more than your annoyingly sweet ass could ever believe. I wish you were here Ben, safe and sound. And if you could hear me Ben, I wish you could forgive me.’

Your eyes slowly fall shut from the emotional guilt you’re feeling but a warm breeze passes through like a warm embrace lightening the heavy burden within.

A soft whisper of reassurance and familiar words brings you to peaceful rest.

‘I forgive you y/n. It wasn’t your fault. I don’t blame you for what happened.’

You stirred from your sleep as you felt yourself lifted from the ground.

‘Careful Diego! You might wake her up.’ You hear Klaus say.

All this trauma, stress and was just too much to handle by minors and as quickly as all your powers came, the same goes for the people who left.

Klaus was the first to leave the academy at age 16, who choose to be self-checked at a rehab centre, stating that that was a way healthier environment then this shithole that was ‘home’.  Who could blame him? Especially when you yourself were planning to leave.

As much as you wanted to get up and leave in the dead of night, you can’t. You don’t have the heart to leave your remaining siblings behind. No, not in this environment. If you were to leave, you wanted them to go with you, to at least know they would have a good life ahead.

Under Reginald’s watchful eye, it would take time to sort the plan out, but it would be worth it.

And you know just the person to talk to.

‘Heyya Diego.’

‘You’re up to something y/n/n and I don’t want to be in any part of it.’ He says without glancing your way. ‘Not after the pineapple incident.’ Diego’s eyes finally landing on you.

Rolling your eyes, you chuckled. ‘Oh come on Diegs! That was years ago! It was just a childish prank—’

Diego gives you the finger.

‘-Oi! It is not MY fault what Luther did to you; besides you were supposed to take the EAST stairwell, NOT the West.’ You say matter of factly, shaking your head. ‘Ughh no, we are getting out of topic. Diego, I need your help and you have to promise not to tell anyone-’

‘You’re devising a getaway plan, aren’t you?’

Your brows scrunched together. ‘How’d you—’

‘I’m not blind y/n, I recognised the look of someone who too is planning to escape.’

You raise a brow. ‘Too?’

‘Yes, Too.’ Diego edges closer to you. ‘Now, why don’t we save the trouble of potentially ruining each other’s individual schemes and join forces. Team up. More brainpower. And whatnot. Deal?’ Offering his pinky out.

You ignored the outstretched gesture. ‘What happened to being a lone wolf huh?  I thought that was your thing now?’ You countered.

‘Like a said y/n, the more brainpower, the higher the success.’ He explained. ‘Say, we do manage to get out or perhaps just leave, like Klaus. Where would we go? Where would you? Hmm?’

‘I… I…’ You honestly don’t know.

‘Exactly. That’s why we team up and once we’re out of here. We stick together for a while till we get back on our feet and figure out what we want then go our separate ways.’

You nod, digesting his words. It seems like a solid plan with ample flexibility before deciding on what to do with your life after. But….

‘Okay…..’

‘Okay!’

‘…On one condition. It would not only you and me. We’ll try to get to convince the others to come along too.’

‘What?! y/n no, that’s too many people on the plan-‘

‘More brainpower, higher the success. Your words Diego. Not mine.’ You retaliated. ‘Besides, we can’t just leave everyone here. It’s miserable here. They’re family Diego.’

‘Fine we’ll tell Luther and Allison.’

‘Everyone, Diego.’ You stared him down. ‘And that includes Vanya. No buts.’

‘Ugh.Fine.’ He points a finger towards your face. ‘We tell Luther, Allison AND Vanya. But I swear y/n if anyone of them rats us out or backs out of the plan. We leave them behind. No pity if they choose to stay in this shithole of a house. They are old enough to make their own decision and to face the consequences.’ He leans back to the bed’s headboard. ‘That’s my final offer. Deal?’

‘Deal.’ You interlock your fingers, sealing the pinky promise.

It was easy to get Vanya on board, as she was the child that received the crappiest treatment from dad. Allison was hesitant at first but after convincing her the real world had so much more to give compared to that of the imaginary perfect bubble she created for herself here in the academy with the use of her power, she was on board.

Luther that ever loyal ‘leader’ of the academy would never dare cross dad, the idea wouldn’t have even crossed his mind. Diego had failed to make him see reason and so have you. Luther only came around to be a part of the escape because Allison had agreed to it.

It took almost 6 months. The time has come. You all had saved up enough money to rent a loft apartment downtown and pooled enough to last at least 3 months on your own.

At 1:00 am.  All the remaining 5 Hargreeves are to ready with their backpacks to sneak out in groups, boys and girls, and meet at the rendezvous point, Giddy’s Doughnuts. There, a van would be available for them to drive to the apartment.

The boys were to go first, as to let Diego deactivate the security features of the house while Luther stands guard.

It was only supposed to take 15 minutes tops, it was 20 minutes past now. Something was wrong.

Deciding as a team to check up on the boys, you, Allison and Vanya head down to the foyer.

Upon arrival, you see Luther with his hands covering Diego’s face, Diego who seem limp as a log.

‘Luther what’s going on?’ Allison’s voice rang out beside you.

‘I’m sorry….’ He looks down unto the unconscious Diego in his arms. ‘I just… I just couldn’t.’

‘Number Eight! How could you! How could all of you! Three! Seven!’

The room seemed to turn colder by the sound of the voice. You turn and see Sir Reginald Hargreeves.

‘Dad…’

‘YOU ARE ALL A DISGRACE.’ Reginald spitted.

‘But dad!’ Luther pleaded. ‘I was the one who informed you about their plan!’

‘ENOUGH! NO MORE OF THIS FOOLISHNESS, BACK TO BED---’

‘That’s right NO MORE dad!’ Shouted Allison. She glances at dad then at Luther. A frown etched her face as she commanded. ‘I heard a rumor that you couldn’t move your legs.’

The effect was immediate. The lower half of Reginald and Luther stayed still as a rock while they tried their best to break free. But alas, Allison had the upper hand. ‘I heard a rumor you let us go freely.’ At once, both men calmed down.

And to add insult to injury. Allison focused on Reginald and rumoured ‘And you would leave Diego Hargreeves, Klaus Hargreeves, Vanya Hargreeves, Y/n Hargreeves and Allison Hargreeves alone.’

Luther’s betrayal felt like a stab in the back.

Moving on and creating a new life from the ground up for oneself was hard but having your siblings with you had definitely made it easier.

It took a while to get the hang of things, being 4 young adults with nothing. You missed Mom and Pogo, but you knew that they, like Luther would stick with Dad.

Vanya was the first to take up stack, she provided the finance to pay rent and groceries with the salary she would get from her violin performances at the local theatre. Soon Allison would also chip in from the money she received from her acting gigs.

Diego showed interest into joining the police academy while you wanted to get away from the lifestyle as much as possible, opted to move across the country and pursue tertiary education-because that was what normal 18-year-old do right? For once you want to be ordinary and what better way than experience what student life is all about.

Though there is one teensy detail that was hindering your application. You were home-schooled by your robot mom. There weren’t report cards or grades that any university would accept. Even if there were, you wouldn’t want to go back to that dreadful house.

 Both not wanting to lose your newfound passion, you and Diego had an enormous favour to ask.

‘NO not a chance!’ Allison crossed her arms.  ‘It’s unethical!’

‘Yes we know-‘ you replied.

‘But it’s the only way.’ Diego reasoned. ‘It’s not fair for y/n and I to not be able to follow our dreams and to finally FINALLY move on with our lives, Ally. While you and Vanya get to live out yours.’

You nodded along. ‘We ask you just this one thing and we’re out of your hair.’

Allison looked between you two as if to decided whether it would be worth it. ‘Fine, just this once.’  She sighs. ’And this doesn’t get out kapeesh?’ pointing her finger.

‘kapeesh.’

~

‘I’m gonna miss you so much!’ Vanya admitted.

You pulled both your sisters into a hug. ‘I’m miss you gals more!’

Allison wipes her tears away. ‘Don’t forget us okay? Remember we’re only a text away.’

‘Tell Diego that I’m gonna miss kicking his butt when he come back from his officer training, ye?’

~

Over the years you hadn’t lost touch with your family. It’s been a while since you’ve all together physically, but you do video chat every once and a while and you have a general tab on each of your siblings. Vanya is currently the 3rd chair violin at her orchestra, Diego had channelled his inner batman and believe to be a vigilante keeping the streets and public safe.

As for Klaus, Diego had told you that he hasn’t managed to keep off his ~happy place~ and had seen him in and out of nightclubs.

Allison….Well who wouldn’t know about what she’s up to. A-list celebrity with numerous critically acclaimed movies to her name, one half of Hollywood’s hottest couple and amazing role model for mothers. Ahh Claire that sweet angel, who says that you’re her favourite aunt, that smile of hers melts your heart.

The last you’ve seen of Luther is when his journey to the moon has been televised a couple of years ago. There’s been no news since.

 The rattling of the gate brings you back to the present.

‘AH yes, Miss.y/n. He has been expecting you.’

‘Pogo!’ You exclaimed, wrapping him in a hug.

‘So I’m not to late then? Where’s mom?’

‘Grace is with Sir Reginald, my dear.’ Pogo leads you up the stairs.

Looking around, everything is as pristine as usual. ‘I see that nothing’s change’ You noted.

‘Yes, well I was asked to keep it as it always was.’

He opens the door to Reginald’s quarters. There on the bed was dad, looking sickly pale but still alive unlike to what you had seen in your vision.

Beside him wiping away the sweat on his forehead was mom. ‘Oh, my dear y/n I’m glad you could join us.’ She says as if years hadn’t gone by without your presence.

You reach the foot of the bed. ‘Dad…’ you begin.

But Reginald cuts you off. ‘Number Eight. Glad to see that logical and curious side of yours overrides that irrational emotive side.’ His voice weak yet still holds its signature condescending tone. ‘It is your disposition to the voice of reason and mysteries of the unknown that led you here, despite your supposed hatred towards me-‘

‘There’s no grey area, I do hate you.’

He waved his hand to dismiss your interruption.

‘As I was saying, it is of this reason- your control over the impulsiveness that is apparent to all of your siblings who lack control- is why you are my favourite.’

You scoffed.

‘It is true, my dear y/n.’

‘Oh please. You only see me as a “valuable asset”. Remember?’

Reginald nods. ‘I do, but I believe the exact words were “You would do great things Number Eight. To see into the future is a valuable asset to have indeed”. Thus, implying that your ability is the asset not you.’

‘Sure, just rub it in don’t you.’ Rolling your eyes.

‘I hope that you do too remember that also in my own words that you were and still are “the cleverest of the bunch”.’

‘So why am I here, you’re clearly not dead.’ You looked at him again.  You’ve never seen your dad so fragile ever. ‘….yet. So there must be something to do with that. Perhaps find your killer?’

On the bedside table, you took note of the cup of tea and medication. Your brain is in super speed, running through ideas on what could have cause him to be so sickly.

‘It could be your meds…..’ You look up. ‘Mom who else has access to Dad’s medication?’

‘Just us dear, Pogo and I.’

‘Number Eight there is no killer. I am dying because of old age, it is quite normal for-‘

‘NO No but the mortality rate is 350 years for the species of—’

‘Ah!’ Reginald’s face showed of surprise which slowly turned into cunningest. ‘so, you know then’ He chuckled.

‘Yes.’

‘Since when?’ He asked genuinely curious.

‘When we first showed signs of powers, some of your notes were written in a language I did not recognised.’ You recalled. ‘So, I did some digging, it took a while but when I found about the secret safe under this very bed and what it contained. Everything became clearer.’

‘Very good. Y/n. Nobody knew about the safe expect myself.’ He looked over at Pogo. ‘Did you know of it?’

‘No, Sir.’ Pogo admitted. ‘Not until now.’

‘Very well indeed. You knew all this time, yet you didn’t say anything. Why?’

‘Because it didn’t matter.’ You shrugged. ‘The only thing that matter in this household was our powers.’

‘Did the others-‘

‘No, they didn’t know. I hadn’t told a soul. It is not my secret to share.’

‘And soon it will be yours.’

‘What?’

‘Number Eight, it is without a doubt my time here is limited. Perhaps as little as an hour.’

Never had you seen someone talk about their death like this. You shiver at the thought.

‘By the fact that you are here now and had seen a vision of me dead means that the block I had place on you to prevent you peering into events regarding me is failing. Failing as my health is.’

You want to be angry. How dare he supress your power. But you stand still as a rock by his confession. ‘why?’ A soft whisper was all you could muster. ‘why?’

‘Because I had to keep my real identity a secret. To prevent you from exposing me.’ He coughed. ‘But turns out, you hadn’t need to use your powers to know that, as what you’ve told me.’ He looked at you with watering eyes. ‘You found that all on your own, yet you did not disclose anything.’ He reached out for your hand to which you accept. ‘For which I am delighted that at least I can say that I have one child, a daughter to be proud of.’

A daughter to be proud of.

You would like to think that you are strong and independent. And those are true. But that small child that all that wanted was to experience a parent’s love and affection. That emotional support of that small child which you thought you had successfully tucked away came clawing its way back to the surface.

‘y/n’ You had almost missed it, wiping away your tears, you leaned closer.

‘Listen carefully….’ Your dad’s chest was barely moving. It was a struggle for him to get the following words out. ‘The end is near, get the others ……and save…..the…..tttiiiimmm’

You never head what came next. Sir Reginald Hargreeves is dead.

Under the setting sun, Reginald looked at peace.

~

A half moon shines brightly above the house. It had been 3 days and 7 Hours since it happened.

Exhaustion is starting to catch up with you but there is still so much to do.

News channels had broadcasted the breaking news of your father’s death.

You had personally called your siblings to deliver the news, they are to arrive tomorrow for the funeral at noon.  

Luther who had been expecting to relay dad his daily report status on the space radio, cussed at you in anger-those were the first words you heard in 12 years- calmed down and said that he will be there in 3 days, in time for the funeral.

‘Sweetie, I brought you some tea.’

‘Thanks mom.’ You take a sip. ‘Hey mom did you think you’re gonna be alright now that you know…. That dad is gone?’

She runs her fingers to your hair. ‘I’m gonna be fine dear, I am stronger than you know.’

You smile at her. You just can’t help but to think what’s gonna happen to her now that your dad is gone. Pushing that thought away-like she said, I am stronger than you know.

 ‘Now, why don’t we get you to bed.’ She cuts you off before you can say a word. ‘Uh uh. You have done so much already. You need rest especially with the funeral in 9 hours. Pogo and I can handle the remaining task.’

‘Thanks again mom.’

She tucks you into bed. ‘Good night y/n/n. Sweet Dreams.’ She kisses the top of your head. ‘I love you.’

‘I love you too mom.’ As she leaves your room, you realised that you didn’t want to be alone. ‘Mom…’ You called out, almost childlike.

‘Yes dear.’ Grace makes her way back in.

‘Well you stay with me? Sing to me until I fall asleep?’

‘Ofcourse dear.’ She smiles, pulling up a chair beside your bed.

The lull of your mother’s voice sends you to sleep with the memories of the childhood before power. When everything was simple. When there was love in this household.

~

You awoke to sounds of screams and flashes of blue light. You hurry to your window, it shows the courtyard, a ball of blue chaos small black figures.

You pull on your jacket and ran downstairs, the clock in the foyer shows 11:37am. Crap you overslept! But that means…..that the figures you saw were your siblings. There are early….that’s new.

You arrived in the courtyard just as you see Klaus throws a fire extinguisher at the blue light.

‘What are you doing?!’ Shouted Luther.

‘What is that gonna do?’ Allison questioned.

‘I don’t know!!’ Klaus turned around ‘Do you have a better idea?—Oh hey y/n! Nice to see you!’ He ran over and gave you a tight hug. ‘What a family reunion ehh?’

Before you could reply, the ball of blue gave out a crackle of electricity.

‘Everyone get behind me!’ Luther pushes in front of everyone.

‘Yeah! Get behind us.’ Diego chimed in, pushing Vanya closer to you.

Vanya ignores Diego, trying to get a better look herself. ‘It looks like something is coming through!’

The ball of light exploded, the sudden burst of energy was blinding that you had to cover your eyes.

Then nothing, total darkness.

THUD. You heard Vanya scream.

‘Argh!’

The blue chaos had expelled something….someone.

Luther was the first to speak. ‘Who’s there?’

‘Show yourself!’ said Diego.

As a collective group, you walked towards the mystery person.

Your eyes go wide with shock. No it can’t be, it’s impossible. You must be seeing things.

‘Does anyone else see little Number Five, or is that just me?’ wondered Klaus.

Klaus looked around and saw that everyone showed that same face of disbelief. Pleased to know that it wasn’t the drugs, he snickered. ‘Now THIS! THIS IS WHAT I CALL A FAMILY REUNION.’

Little Five who didn’t seem to have aged a day since you last saw him,

It’s been years but seeing him looking like he did back when you last saw him, you recall the last words he had shouted at you.

‘get out of the way y/n! i don’t want to see your face anymore.’

Five looks down at himself drowned in tattered oversize clothes, wining. ‘SHIT!’

Something is wrong, something is very wrong and you know it.

No way was this all a coincidence for your father to warn you about some impending doom and have Five to reappear 17 years later. It must be related somehow…What’s next you thought……For Ben to come back to life too?

END OF PART 2

READ: [PART 1]  [PART 3]  [PART 4]

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[loveisblindfanfictionbka]

Love Is Blind: Chapter Five

Chris grabbed a large box from his postmaster and placed it into the back seat of his truck. 

“Daddy, what’s that?” Anesa asked.

“Not sure yet. I wasn’t expecting anything in the mail.”

“Oh. Are we gonna get our puppy today?”

“No, we’ll gonna get one on Friday. The only place that has the dog you want is in the city so we’ll go after my afternoon class.”

“Friday? That’s so many days away, Daddy.”

“I know Love Bug but we’re not going into the city until next week so you’ll have to wait.”

“But Daddy.”

“Anesa, we’re not having this conversation. You’ve waited all this time for a puppy, you can wait a few more days, ok?”

“Yes Daddy.”

“Good. So what do you want for lunch?”

“Cheese sticks and french fries.”

“You gonna turn into a cheese stick; you keep eating them so much, “ Chris replied with a chuckle as he pulled out of the post office parking lot.

Chris went into his office as Anesa plopped down in front of the TV. He grabbed the box and set it on top of the coffee table then sat down on the couch in front of it. He carefully slit open the top and smiled at the note “You indulged one of my hidden passions, why not indulge yours? Hope you like it (wink).” Chris dug into the box and pulled out a luxury model train set then a collection of various Jazz compilations on vinyl.

“Wow….this woman went all out,” he murmured to himself. He grabbed his phone and took a picture of the gifts before sending it as an attachment through the dating chat. A few minutes passed before he got a response

A: I was wondering if it got there in time

C: This is incredible and way more than what I got you

A: Actually it’s even steven. I looked up how much those poetry collections cost by the way

C: Totally not the same

A: It’s exactly the same.

C: Thank you, Anna

A: You are definitely welcome. So did you get the puppy?

C: We are picking him up on Friday

A: Cool. What did you get?

C; A maltipoo

A: Oh.

C: He is a shelter dog. It sounded like that was something important to you

A: That’s awesome

C; So what are you up to?

A: Nothing. Trying to decide what I’m gonna do for the upcoming two weeks

C: Something new happening?

A: It is my annual office ban.

C: Office ban?

A: My friends and employees got together a few years ago and decided the only way to force me to take time off was to ban me from the office. So they literally take my keys and ban me from coming into work

C: Lol Wow. Are you really a workaholic like that?

A: I like being busy and they hate it

C: Are you busy because you really like your job or you’re hiding?

A: Depends on the day

C: Ah. Do you only take off during this annual ban?

A: Yes

C: Maybe if you got out more, they’d get off your back

A: that’s possible. How was work?

C: I canceled classes today

A: Why?

C: Spring Break starts this week. I usually do classes remotely during the week prior to Spring Break to give my students a longer break but I do keep my office hours so I’ll be on campus Friday, that’s why we’re waiting to get the dog then

A: What do you usually do during a break?

C: Well with the new pet, we’ll probably be getting accustomed to the house but usually we go and visit my sister so Anesa can play with her cousins and such.

A: Does your sister live in NY?

C: Yea, she’s a little further upstate, towards Albany

A: How many additional hours of driving?

C: About another 2 or 3 hours

A: Oh that’s not too bad.

C: Yea. You sound surprised.

A: I was expecting something like away from home vacation

C: I have one scheduled for her birthday in the summer so we’re playing it lowkey for right now

A: Ah, that sounds awesome

C: Why don’t you go on a vacation?

A: I don’t know where I would go. It’s not like I really wanna be around people

C: You could always rent a villa or something and just relax alone

A: That’s true. Any recommendations?

C: Depends on your taste. In the states or another country? Busy or remote? A lot of adventure or quiet activities?

A: Another country. Remote. Quiet.

C: Cannes is nice this time of year especially on the outskirts of the town

A: Cannes, France?’

C: Yea. Is that a problem?

A: No, I’ve always wanted to go there but I never made it

C: Really? I went the year before I got Anesa. Sort of a soul-searching thing

A: How was it?

C: It was beautiful. A nice mix of people and solitude.

A: I might think about it then

C: It is a nice spot for a European vacation

A: Sounds like it. Thanks for the suggestion

C: Not a problem. I can forward you a link to some vacation rentals if you would like

A: That'd be great.

They fell silent for a few moments before Chris started typing again

C: Can I tell you something?

A: Sure.

C: This the closest I’ve ever felt to someone in the last few years. I really appreciate your company

A: That is really sweet, Chris. I appreciate yours as well. It feels good to talk to someone and not feel like I’m crazy or having them think I’m depressed

C: I know the feeling. Sometimes we just have to take our time to get back to where we used to be

A: I don’t think I ever wanna go back to where I used to be

C: You might have to, to get to where you wanna be. Healing has to start at the source

A: And next you’re gonna say that healing hurts

C: It can especially if you have to face some truths that you don’t want to face

A: I guess that’s true.

C: You should really give some deep thought about speaking to your ex or at least to a therapist to get the feelings out. You deserve to be angry and you deserve to be angry at him. Holding it in doesn’t make you as noble as you think.

A: I don’t believe I’m being noble

C: I think you do. I think you think no lashing out makes you more mature when it just makes you more angry. Listen, if he walked away to save you from himself, why are you still letting that torture you?

A: I don’t know

C: Healing isn’t for the other person, it's for you. You deserve to be happy, that’s why you agreed to the divorce, isn’t it? You wanted to be happy too

A: I agreed to the divorce because I didn’t want to face the fact that he didn’t want me

C: So you would’ve stayed?

A: Absolutely. Sometimes you meet a person and they’re just-

C: It. I know.

A: I know something was going on with him, I could feel it but I couldn’t fix it. I didn’t want to be a failure

C: And it wasn’t your job to fix it

A: I could’ve been more supportive. 

C: Do you really think that?

A: When he shut down, I shut down too. I can admit that

C: Which is understandable

A: but not helpful. You don’t have to say it

C: Listen, nobody blames you for trying to stay unscathed. Damaged people can be hard to deal with. I know I wasn’t. I was moody and anxious all the time. Never wanted to talk. Never wanted to do anything. That could drive anybody crazy

A: It just about did

C: Anna, you needed to protect yourself. That’s not failure. You should never sacrifice yourself in that manner. In the whole picture, maybe he should’ve been better and actually spoke to you to do better but at the time, his only option may have been to let you go. That’s not failure. That’s survival

A: Boy, am I glad you can’t see me

C: Lol, why you say that?

A: Because I am a crying mess right now

C: Aww...I’m sorry.

A: No, it’s fine. I just never heard it quite like that. Like I knew it wasn’t my job to fix him but I felt so guilty about leaving even though he was pushing me away

C: When you really love and care about someone, that happens. There’s nothing wrong with that. I think so often we get wrapped in our own pain that we don’t realize how our distance affects others. Was he a bad guy prior to then?

A: No, he was the sweetest and funniest person. He just became so cold and empty. Like literally you couldn’t see any life in his eyes

C: Do you think he didn’t love you?

A: He did love me. I could see it breaking him to tell me to leave but it wasn’t strong enough

C: Then that’s what you need to hold on to. There’s nothing wrong with loving him. And there’s nothing wrong with being angry with him either. You have a right to be but you also have the power to deal with it and determine how you react to it. 

A; You’re absolutely right

C: I think you really should go on a vacation and just take some time to yourself. Some of the locations out there are remote enough that you could stand outside and scream for hours. You need to release it

A: Then what do I do after that?

C: You live. And be happy. And that doesn’t mean you have to date or fall in love with anyone other than yourself. You don’t have to let your anger be your only connection to him, that’s what your love is for.

A: You still love your ex-wife

C: I do.

A: She was it for you, wasn’t she?

C: She was. Still is.

A: How’d you let go?

C: Physically? I distanced myself. I moved out of our old house, I stayed away from our old friends. Emotionally? I still haven’t learned how to

A: Does that part ever get easier?

C: No but I just try and bury it, which probably isn’t healthy but I can’t have her, you know.

A: Did you ever try?

C: Honestly, I don’t know what to say. Besides, I don’t deserve another chance

A: Isn’t that for her to decide?

C: You’re right.

A: I know you think you’re protecting her but lying, even by omission, never helps. You wanna know what to say? The truth. Tell her everything. That much you do owe her.

C: You’re right

A: Who needs a therapist when we got each other?

C: LOL, you are right again. Thanks for the gifts and your gift

A: My gift?

C: Your friendship. It’s refreshing, haven’t felt like this in a long time

A: You’re very welcome. Same to you.

C: I guess I should let you go then

A: You don’t have to if you don’t want to. What else you wanna talk about?

C: How about your connect for these vinyls?

A: Lol

Omg Daddy, look at all the puppies,” Anesa said as she squeezed his hand with delight, “can I get more than one?

“No. We agreed on one puppy and that’s all.”

“Yes Daddy. Is the one I want here?”

“Yup. The shelter manager says that he’s getting checked out right now and then we’ll be able to take him and go.

“Yay!”

Chris chuckled, “no yelling inside, Nesa.”

“Oops.”

A blonde woman walked over to him with a clipboard, “My name is Alexis. How may we help you?”

“Hi. We have an appointment to pick up a Maltipoo named Shep.”

“He is in the back with our resident vet. She runs the clinic next door. Would you like to come back and see him?”

“If it wouldn’t be too much trouble.”

“No trouble at all. Follow me.”

Chris and Anesa followed the employee farther back into a vet office. Just as they stopped in the doorway behind Alexis, the doctor looked up.

“Robyn?”

“Chris?”

[back2thepalace]

Christmas Secrets

Okay so I know Christmas was over a month ago but I never finish this until really until recently but due to the lack of Parrlyn I am making it two parts (maybe more). So here is the first half of my mini fanfic.

~~

(Anne’s P.V)

Word Count- 2746

Trigger Warnings- Death, yelling, depression, or idk

Spell Checked- idk?

~~

I felt a cold stream of air hit me as I stepped out of the door. I walked a couple steps forward til i heard so yelling coming from behind me. I quickly turn around and see the door wide open. I grab the door knob pulling it shut to not let the warm air out. When it was shut I was relaxed, I was by myself in the cold crisp air. I took a breathe in, breathing in the cold air. It was refreshing to get out of the warm and stuffy house. I walked out from under the overhang covering the porch. I heard the snow crunch below my feet. I looked down to see a thin layer of snow under my feet. Little snow flakes on top of my shoes, they stood out from he black of my Doc Martens. I looked back up remembering why I was out here on Christmas Eve. I walked forward remembering that I was going to have to walk a little bit to get to the location I was going. I was going to my favorite book store it had a little cafe that i could get something to drink at. It was a nice little store on a corner a few blocks away. It had a nice homey feel, I could guess that as I had been going there since I was little. My dad used to take me there every Tuesday and on the cold days he would get me a hot chocolate. He would help me with reading at a young age. I was diagnosed with dyslexia. This is what also sparked my love of books, which a lot of my friends didn’t know about. That side of me is private locked away from the public, the sad memories, the ones that are pushed out to refrain from crying. The little bookshop was a sad memory because when I was in the 7th grade my dad passed away in a car crash. My mom was already died from complications in childbirth with my last sibling when I was 5. I haven’t seen any of my siblings for 10 years as after my dad did we were split up as my eldest sister was unable to care for me and my siblings. My dad didn’t leave something in the will about what to do with me and my sibling. I went to live with my cousin and none of my siblings came with me. It’s a sad thought that only one out of my five good friends know and that girl is also my cousin. My life went downhill from that point well emotionally. I was queen bee at school but that meant nothing mental and also damaged my mental state. Boys on me at all times and getting pulled into closets and empty rooms by boys just so they could make love to me. Which in the long run turned me lesbian but that is another problem as I have the biggest crush on one of my friend. The one I was going to a book shop late on Christmas Eve to go buy my secret Santa gift to her. I never really got the point of Christmas as I was raised Jewish, but celebrating Jewish holidays and doing the normal stuff Jews do for the religion aspects I don’t do it. None of my friends do it and I haven’t done anything for the religion sense 7th grade because my cousin’s family wasn’t Jewish or anyone else I know. I felt a small tear slide down my cheek as I saw the book shop in site. Think about stuff like this makes me really emotional, which is what I try to hide the most. I wiped the tear away scooping it away with my nail. I walked across the street getting to the front door. I pushed it open hearing the ringing of a bell over head. I walked in feeling the nice warm cozy feeling and realizing how numb my nose felt because of the cold. I walked in further smelling the smell of coffee and books, which I liked the smell of. I looked around seeing the barista that was usually there and that I talked to quite often when I was here. I gave her a small wave and she waved back. I turned down one of the isles walking into the maze of books. I looked over the short selfs to see the others in the store. One head caught my eye, a small half up bun with very curly pieces of hair coming down. I looked at the small little bun there was very little hair in it and I was sure I knew who it was. I saw the same style of hair on Cathy early. It was just my luck that my crush was here and I was shopping for her. I made my way towards her moving around the bookshelves. I reached the isle that she was in mystery novels. I had asked for mystery and romance novels for secret Santa, was it possible that she was giving to me. I walked down the aisle and stood next to her for a couple seconds.

“So, what are you looking for.” I say scaring the life out of Cathy.

“Anne?” She said not turning around in fear.

“Yeah, it’s me.” I say putting my hand on her shoulder looking down into the book she was looking at.

“Why are you here? Did you stalk me here? Cause we all know that you don’t like reading.” Cathy says in a pissed of tone pushing her shoulder back to through my hand off it. I stepped back, tears starting to pooling in my eyes. I took another step back feeling tears start to roll down my face. Another step and I was into the other book self.

“Like you would even care.” I say as more tears rush down my face as my fight or flight response kicks in. I run away from her, like all my problems. I didn’t look back, not even to see if her cute little face was looking at me. I ran as fast as I could, I felt as if my eyes waterfalled out. When I was out of the book isle I walked up to the cafe counter. When I got there the barista, Vicki, looked up at me.

“Oh, no Anne what’s wrong?” She says rushing out from behind the counter. When she gets to me she gives me a giant bear hug. I melt into the hug and push my face into her shoulder to stop that sounds of my sobs from being to loud. Her rubs my back, not asking a second time like most people would ask. She just sits there and is there for me. She pulls out a chair from the table that was beside us. We sit there in a hug for quite a while before she pulls away.

“I have to make a drink or two and then I will be back in a few.” She says before getting up. I wrap my arms around my head so that no one could see me.

“Can I get a tea and hot chocolate, please.” I hear the sounds of Cathy’s voice say. I hear a bit of shuffling before foot step heading towards me. I hear the noise of someone sitting down next to me.

“Anne, I am sorry for sounding pissed off. I help off buying my secret Santa a present and I am crazy stressed and I cannot pinpoint who it is.” Cathy says putting her hand on my elbow. Which I let stay on my elbow unlike her. I didn’t reply as I didn’t know what to say.

“Hey Annie, I am really truly-“

“Sorry! Are you really sorry, because you don't know what I have to deal with. Why does ever suition end with people, apologizing to me. Why do I always end up playing the victim. Am I actually as stupid as people think I am. Yeah probably. Just stupid little Anne with her stupid dyslexia, and her stupid life. Why can’t she just go burn in hell already.” I say yelling most things had been said to me over the years just all my energy got caught and let loose at Cathy. She sat there in shock, not knowing what to say.

“Catherine, one tea and one hot chocolate.” I hear Vicki say from behind the counter.

“That hot chocolates is for you, I was going to stay for a bit longer but you seem really mad so I am going to leave.” Cathy says getting up and walking to the counter to get her drink. Before she was able to reach the counter I got up and hugged her. I could tell that she was in utter shock in my sudden change of emotion but she wrapped her arms around me. Tears started to come out again, but this time tears of happiness. A couple seconds later I let go wiping my tears. As I looked up at Cathy I saw a look of confusion on her face.

“Anne, are you okay?” Cathy says as she stares deeply into my eyes. Her dark brown eyes staring into my hazel eyes.

“Yeah, just happy.” I say smiling. I release my arms from around Cathy’s body. She reached up gently brushing the tears off my face. My face must have been redder that a tomato when Cathy touched my face.

“Well can you explain to me, why you just burst out in tears.” Cathy asks walking back to the table that we had just been sitting at.

“I think you have to get the drinks first.” I say giggling a little bit as I sit down.

“Okay.” Cathy says and turns walking towards the counter going to grab our drinks. I reach up around my neck looking for the thin silver chain the belonged to the necklace that I hide from the world. I pulled it out from under my shirt where I kept it. I looked down at it as I held the small pendent of the Star of David. I moved it around on my palm staring at it. It was my moms, my dad gave it to me when I was ten years old. It was the only thing I had left from my childhood, everything else I lost when my dad died.

“What’s that?” Cathy says breaking me out of my trance I was in causing me to grip the little star in my hand. I felt it’s little points poking into my hand in my firm grip. I looked up at Cathy, who was holding our drinks. She places cup in front of me and sitting down in the chair across from me. I let go of the pendant on my necklace letting it fall a bit and bounce up before starting to move in circles like most necklaces do. I brought my hands up putting them under my hair and on the back of my neck and unclipping the necklace. Holding ends I took my hands out from under my hair and clipping them back together. I gathered the whole necklace in my hand and reached out to Cathy. She put her hand out and I dropped the necklace in her palm. I watched as she drew her hand closer to her face picking the pendant up with her two fingers.

“The Star of David?” Cathy asks confused looking up at me. My eye filled with tears. That was the first time I had ever let someone see my necklace.

“Yeah.” I said looking at Cathy. She sat there silent. I could tell she was confused on why I had the necklace.

“It was my moms.” I said.

“What?” Cathy said still confused.

“The necklace, silly. It was my only inheritance that I know of.” I said mentioning to the necklace with my hand.

“Inheritance?………Oh, Annie.” Cathy said as realized what happened. She got up up and gave me a hug. After a couple seconds she pulled out going to sit down again.

“How long?” She asks.

“10 year for my dad and 15 for my mom.” I say. Cathy was silent she probably thought it was a reacent than it was.

“Wow…… why don’t you talk about this?” Cathy asks.

“Because no one would care. Probably think I am joking about it.

“Does anyone else know?” She asks another question.

“Just Kitty, her family to me in. Only me though.” I say staring at the table.

“Wait, do you have siblings?” She asks.

“Yeah, I have eight.” I said looking back up at her.

“Eight! You have eight siblings. Why don’t you talk about this!” She said grabbing my hands.

“Because I don’t know where they are. I haven’t seen them for ten year.” I say.

“Oh. So going back to the star are you-“ she starts to say before I cut her off.

“Jewish, yes I am.” I say as I feel her place the necklace back in my hand.

“Why don’t you talk about you life more often!” She asks smiling like an idiot.

“Because know cares about my feelings thinking I am joking. Plus who knows what Cath is going to think when I tell her that I am Jewish.” I say kind of laughing at my last statement.

“Well I care about your feelings.” Cathy said. I looked down at my cup of Hot Chocolate. I traced my finger on the top of the lid of the cup. I picked up the cup bring it to my mouth. I tilted the cup and the drink filled my mouth. The sweet sensation of the liquid chocolate in my mouth. I put my cup down as I swallowed the liquid. I looked up at Cathy who looked confused. So I guess I had to explain to her.

“Every Tuesday, my dad would take me to this bookstore. He would help me with my reading. Every week after I got diagnosed. He would buy me a hot chocolate and just be there for me even with me being the middle child. Until one day, he didn’t come to pick me up, so I walk her to the bookstore. That’s when I saw it, my dad’s car crashed into the pole, the one right there.” I said pointing to the pole outside the window, “I knew it was his because the license plate was ripped off the car and was right under my foot. There was an ambulance, a fire truck, police cars, cation tap, and a group of people that was confused. I ran through the crowd, pushing and shoving people out of my way. I got to the police tap and when under, the police started to yell and I yelled back, Telling them that was my father's car. I remember the tears rushing down my face and the police letting me through to see my dad. He was dying they didn’t take home to the hospital because he would have died before he got there. I was there with my dad as he died. He talked to me and told me not to cry and that he was going to be fine, but I knew the truth and that he wasn’t going to make it. He told me things to tell my siblings and in his last moments he brought up his hand to my face and told me he loved me. Then he died, I still remember his face after a couple seconds. He turned white as a ghost and that, that’s what changed me for the rest of life. Took my childhood, innocence, and left me alone and orphaned. I cried and cried and cried, the police had to pull me off of him. They took me to the police station and kept me there for a long time, until Kitty’s family came. I never saw my siblings, got to get my stuff, or even go to my father’s funeral. Every night and even still I cry when I am alone, at night. I never was the same person again.” When I finished I saw that Cathy was crying, I was too.

“Anne…Anne…oh Anne.” Cathy said wrapping her arms around me.

“Anne I have to do something. I am really sorry but I have to leave.” Cathy says after a couple seconds.

“What?” I was barely able to see that.

“I am sorry.” Cathy said grabbing her tea and running out. Leaving me alone, again. I was alone. I sat there my hands on the cup of hot chocolate.

[gerec]

Emma’s Birthday/Holiday Party and Erik’s Stupid Face

I don’t know why but I absolutely love writing fics about/set during big parties, especially birthdays or during the holidays as an excuse to throw everybody together for shenanigans! Anyway, here’s 1400 words of a modern au for @lachatblanche, featuring Charles and his childhood bestie Tony Stark. It has all our (hers and mine) favourite tropes including:

- Tony and Charles and Emma as filthy rich, emotionally damaged childhood best friends - Avengers crossovers - Erik as the asshole ex Charles can’t get over - Charles with a VHG (very hot guy) expressly to make Erik green with jealousy  - Still have powers au where everyone exists but nobody is a superhero

Enjoy!

He’s been in the car for ten minutes when his cell starts ringing, blasting AC/DC’s ‘Thunderstruck’ loud enough to jolt him from his half comatose state. 

“Oh my god I just landed,” Charles groans into his state-of-the-art, Stark issued phone slash satellite GPS slash probable supercomputer, “can’t whatever this is wait until I get home? Preferably after I throw myself face first into my bed for the next twenty four hours?”

“No can do, Charles-y my boy,” is the answer he gets, which – to be fair – is exactly the answer he’d expect from his best and oldest friend. “It’s T minus nine hours until Emma’s party and you’re nowhere near ready for a full scale, Frost patented holiday extravaganza.”

A week ago it had seemed like a brilliant idea, catching a ride back to New York on Tony’s private jet, after wrapping his semester as guest lecturer at Oxford. He would make it back in time for Emma’s birthday, and then spend the rest of the holidays binging on Netflix and Chinese take-out. But the last forty eight hours had turned out to be an absolute slog, trying to tie up so many loose ends that he can barely keep his eyes open, and the last thing he wants to do now is get all dressed up and go to a glitzy, high profile party—

“Do you think I could get away with a no show?” he asks, heaving a tired sigh when Tony starts laughing, entirely unsympathetic and not at all helpful. “I mean, how painful do you think it’ll be on a scale of one to ten? When I’m being murdered by Emma in cold blood.”

“She’ll kill you, resurrect you and then kill you again,” Tony replies, which is ridiculous and also, not that far from the truth. “Listen, all you have to do is make an appearance, kiss the birthday girl and drink some champagne…we used to party much, much harder on way less sleep.”

“God, Tony that was over ten years ago! I have an actual career these days, and responsibilities, and—”

“Stop, stop, you’re killing me here, Charles,” Tony interjects. “If I can do it than you can do it too! In case you’ve forgotten I am also a very important person, making big decisions and doing all the grown up things!”  

Charles scoffs. “You mean you have Pepper handling all your actual work while you tinker in your lab day and night. And unless you’re willing to let me hire her away—”

“No! You get your own Pepper, Xavier! She’s a thousand percent off limits I mean it—”

He closes his eyes and tilts his head back with a sigh, content to listen to Tony go off on a tangent about his PA. It’s a little funny, how the man is still in such ridiculous denial over his very intense, very possessive feelings for Pepper; though hopefully, Tony figures it out soon – by New Year’s ideally – or Charles is going to lose his shirt in the gang’s betting pool.

“—are you even listening to me? Charles? Did you fall asleep?”

“No, no sorry just resting my eyes,” he answers, and Tony huffs with feigned annoyance, before launching into another tirade about Charles acting like a boring old man. The whole thing is inexplicably soothing and familiar, making him realize just how much he’s been missing his sister and his closest friends in the months he’s been away. 

Still, there’s no good reason to give in to Tony’s machinations without putting up at least a token fight.

“I don’t have anything to wear. My tux was ruined remember? And I haven’t had the chance to get a new one yet.”

“Emma picked one out for you and my tailor’s on his way over with it. He’ll get you fitted and do the alterations there.”

“My hair’s a right mess. I need to get it cut.”

“Raven’s got a guy. She’s bringing him over.”

“Food? Sleep? I’m in no shape for—”

Tony cuts him off before he can finish. “Done and done. Food will be delivered and you have five hours to nap. That leaves you four hours to shower, shave and get dolled up for the party. My car’s coming to get you at seven p.m. sharp.”

Charles can’t help it; he laughs and laughs at the absurd, military-like precision of Tony’s whole ‘get Charles to the party’ operation. “Did you happen to get me a date too? Is someone going to be gift wrapped and hand delivered to my door at nineteen hundred hours?”

He’s kidding of course, because even Tony wouldn’t go so far as to set him up with a blind date within his first twenty four hours back on U.S. soil. But then—

“Actually, yeah. I know a guy. Handsome, artist, ex-Army Captain. Too bland for me but he’s right up your alley. You’ve got a thing about good manners.”

It takes a moment for Charles to actually register the words, before his mind catches up to the implication of what Tony’s just said. “Oh no. No, no, no, no, no. I’m in absolutely no shape to meet new people. Especially hot new people I might want to make a good first impression on. And possibly take home some other time I’m not feeling like death warmed over for sex.”

There’s a pause on the other end of the line, and then a considering hum before Tony decides to drop the proverbial bomb. “Are you sure? ‘Cause your ex is coming tonight.”

Charles doesn’t whine – though it’s a near thing – but he does groan pitifully, leaning forward to bang his head on the back of the front passenger seat. “Why? Why did you guys invite him? You know how I get around Erik, especially after a few drinks—”

“Hey it wasn’t me! Emma invited him, ‘cause I guess they’re still friends or some shit. You have only yourself to blame though, with all that ‘it’s fine that we broke up you guys don’t have to pick sides or stop being friends with him’ crap. You know if you just told her how you really feel she’ll stab him in the heart with her stiletto heel and serve it to you on a silver platter.”

“She’s a telepath too! I shouldn’t have to tell her…” It’s a weak assed excuse and he knows it.

“Whatever. Are you sure you don’t want a hot date? You and I both know that bastard’s going to bring someone young and flashy to try and make you jealous, and you’re going to totally fall for it again like you did last time and the time before that. And then you’re going to end up having hate sex with him again, even though you swore it would never, ever happen, until the next time it happens and you—"

“Ugh please shut up; you’re the worst friend I’ve ever had in my entire life!”

Tony snorts. “You mean I’m the best friend you’ve ever had or will ever have, because who else would line up a bona fide sex god for you to piss off your stupid ex-boyfriend? Me that’s who. Now are you in or not?”

“Send me a picture,” he says and promptly hangs up, cutting Tony off before he can remind Charles what a mess his life has become, and how he really shouldn’t have tried to take the high road after the messy breakup ten months ago.

The cell pings then, three, four, five times in rapid succession; no doubt the pictures of said blind date as Charles requested. His interest is half-hearted at best, that is, until he gets an eyeful of sweaty, muscle-y biceps in the very first image, a side shot of a tall, blond, very well built man making mincemeat out of the swaying punching bag. The next shot is even better, showing the front of the man as he’s jogging towards the camera, t-shirt slightly too tight over his bulging chest and arms. He’s absolutely, positively, drop dead gorgeous, and Charles can’t wait to walk into Emma’s party, arm-in-arm with his very own Adonis come to life.

It does not give him a hot surge of vicious satisfaction, imagining the sour expression on Erik’s stupid face.

He sends Tony a quick text. Name?

Steve Rogers. Rank Captain. Retired, US Army.

Charles scrubs his face and chuckles as he types his reply. 

I’m in.

[scapegrace74-blog]

Seventeen: Interlude

A/N  You ever make a list?  A way to compile all the missed opportunities, the transgressions, the warning signs telling you that you’re on the wrong path?  Of course you have.  Part 15 in the series, but actually not about a sexual partner.  I just needed to get all this early season groundwork down before forging on.  Part 1 and links to other parts are here. Rated NC-17. 

He stayed at Elizabeth’s for three days, patching his shaky foundation with comfort food, halting revelations about his state of mind, and restful oblivion in the double bed of her spare bedroom.  He dreamed he was adrift on floating wreckage, trying to navigate to some ever-changing point without a map, with only the stars for company.  

It turned out there was no need to worry about what Elizabeth’s husband thought of him - they’d divorced ten years before.  Still, they didn’t rekindle their affair, and for that he was thankful.  This was how he explained it to her:

“People want to borrow things from me: my mind or my heart or my body, and they always hand them back to me more damaged than before.  They use me, and I feel like I’ve failed them.  How fucked up is that?”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, looking away to hide a stricken expression.

“Wha? No.  I wasn’t talking about us, Elizabeth.  You gave me so much in return.  I was a lost kid, and you set me on my feet and reminded me that an ugly world had room for beauty in it as well.”

“That’s a pretty generous read of my motivations, Mulder.  I came onto you like a mare in heat.”

He smirked, but didn’t deny it.

“I think you need to talk with a professional.  And no, chatting with me over waffles doesn’t count,” she argued before he could interject.  “You’ve got years of buried trauma to excavate.  And since you’re a brilliant behaviouralist yourself, you know just where to hide the bodies.”

He swallowed a ball of fear that rose up in his throat and whispered, “What if I don’t like what I find?  Maybe sticking my head in the sand and coping is the best I can hope for.”

“I don’t think you really believe that, or you wouldn’t have come looking for me.  I don’t deny avoidance is the easier approach, but since when have you done anything the easy way?”

He grinned in acknowledgement.  If Scully came back, he bargained with himself, he’d find himself a therapist who wasn’t a call girl and give the psycho-analysis thing a try.  It couldn’t be any worse than fucking a suicidal vampire in the vain hope that he could save her and by extension every woman he’d ever failed.

***

He might have bargained with himself in bad faith, however.  Missing for over three months, it didn’t take an actuarial table to figure out that Scully wasn’t likely to be found.  But he didn’t give up on her.  His life’s work was one abandoned cause after another.  It was no time to be making exceptions.

So when Scully emerged from her coma in Northeast Georgetown Medical Center, to say that he felt a lot of conflicting emotions was an understatement.  He was thrilled she was alive; incredulous his pleas were answered; guilty for his role in defying her family’s wishes; humbled by her physical and mental fortitude; and utterly terror-stricken that he now had to follow through on his silent promise.  

The one pre-condition he set for his pursuit of mental wellness was that it had to take place in a world that contained Dana Scully.

***

Dr. Ian Turner was a good friend of Elizabeth’s who practiced out of his home in Chevy Chase.  The Gunmen ran him through every background check they could conceive of, and Elizabeth called persistently to find out if he’d made his first appointment.

“Trust me, Mulder.  Ian is exactly what you need.  He’s unflappable, quick-witted, and he’ll extract ugly truths from you like an iron gimlet.”

“That doesn’t sound like very much fun at all,” he quipped nervously.

“It’s what you need.  Make the call.”

And he did.  Two days after being released from quarantine after Mount Avalon, he parked in front of a mid-century home with well-tended gardens and tried to calm his racing heart.  A slight man in his early fifties with wire-frame glasses answered the door and extended his hand.

“You must be Fox.  I’m so glad to finally meet you.  Please come in.”

***

It wasn’t what he’d imagined.  They didn’t progress methodically through his childhood, assigning a Freudian paradigm to each of his manifold issues and perhaps indicting a family member or two along the way.  He didn’t leave each session feeling lighter, as though he’d left behind some heavy part of his past.  In fact, on the days he met with Ian, he dragged his feet and felt like he’d been beaten mentally and emotionally with pipe iron.  

He grew angrier, and even more isolated as he revisited his long line of broken or dysfunctional relationships.  He lashed out at those around him who cared enough to try to save him from his recklessness, including Scully.  But he also started to see this behaviour for what it was: years of sand bagging against future pain.  Life was easier when no-one was on his side, because then there was no-one else for him to lose.

Scully was on his side, though.  She was staunchly, steadfastly, infuriatingly on his side, even when he wasn’t.  Especially when he wasn’t.  She was his dauntless and enduring counterpart, reflecting back radiance and reason from her side of the mirror.  

Just last week, he’d pulled a gun on her and nearly shot the one person to ever stay true in his shitshow life, and she still held his hand and led him from Modell’s hospital room afterwards.  He sat in Ian’s living room and spat out the five scariest words of their eighteen month patient-therapist relationship:

“I...uh...I think I love her.”

He snuck a look at Ian’s face, hoping his pronouncement would be seen as evidence of his progress.  He was well enough to put a name to that tightrope terror that bided in his soul, every time he imagined Scully gone.

Ian didn’t look happy.

“What?  Ian, what?  I would have thought... I mean, loving somebody is a good thing, right?”

“Of course.  But... and this is where I lay those hard truths on you like you pay me to... I don’t really think you love her.”

His lips flattened into an angry snarl.  How dare he?  How dare Ian question what he knew he felt?

“Stop scowling and hear me out.  Scully is your FBI partner, and from everything you’ve told me about her, she’s also a loyal and honest friend the likes of which you life has been sadly lacking.   And she’s an attractive woman, I’m guessing?”  Here Ian stopped until he acknowledged his statement with a nod.  “And you’ve no doubt flirted with her and laid on that patented charm, because that’s what you do to deflect suspicion away from the fact that sexual attraction terrifies you.  And now you confess to me, in practically the same breath, that your greatest fear is losing her and that you love her.  Come on, Fox.  Put that Oxford doctorate to good use and tell me what I’m seeing.”

He blew air through his pursed lips, jaw muscles clenching in upset.

“That she’s a surrogate,” he finally voiced, defeated.

“Very good, Fox.  A surrogate for whom, do you think?”

“For my professional colleagues, whom I’ve alienated or ignored.  For unshakable parental affection, which I never felt.   For my sister, whom I couldn’t save.”  Every sentence rang like a nail in the coffin of his fragile hopes for a normal future with someone.  Someone like Scully.

“Don’t despair, Fox.   I’m not saying that you aren’t capable of romantic love.  And maybe that love will be for Scully, who’s to say?  But your last two sexual relationships were with a hooker and a woman who lit herself on fire mere hours after sleeping with you - I don’t think you’re quite ready for happily ever after yet.”

He sighed.  Elizabeth was right.  Ian didn’t pull his punches.

“A word of advice, Fox?  As someone who has hundreds of hours invested in your mental well-being: until you’re absolutely certain that your feelings for Scully are real, for the love of god please don’t fuck her.”

Go to Seventeen: Marita.