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anunvalidcritic · 5 years ago

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SPIDER-MAN: INTO THE SPIDER VERSE

MOVIE REVIEW

(DISCLAIMER: MY OPINION IS MY OWN AND CAN BE DEEMED INVALID TO THOSE WHO DON’T CARE FOR IT.)

June 27th, 2019 the year of our Lord (whichever one that may be) I watch a spectacular movie that I can truly say that the awards won were well deserved. Spider-Man was the first superhero I can truly say I looked up too and he’s super duper awesome my dudes. I plan on rewatching the movie again so I can complete this post.

Man, this post is gonna be extremely long but it’s totally worth it!

I FUCKING LOOOVVVEEE THIS INTRO MAAAAAAANNNNN!!

“With great powers come great responsibility” - UNCLE BEN

AHHHHH THEY DID THE SPIDER-MAN 3 DANCE DEAD

YOU’RE MY SUNFLOWER!!!!!!!

The love that his parents give is amazing.

I’m glad to see an ethnic spiderman its dope that he speaks Spanish and English.

I understand that Spider-man is a vigilante

“With accountability comes great accountability“ - JEFFERSON DAVIS

He didn’t have to do MILES like that lol

DEAD THAT CLASS WAS QUIET AF

AYYYEEE THE CITY IS BUMPIN’ TONIGHT!!!!!

LOL MILES needs to get his face off that window.

Ayyee black people really do that stuff with that chill talkin’ being all smooth and shiiii ROFL

OOFFF

AHHH SHIT IT’S GOING DOWN WITH THE GRAFFITI AND THE SPIDER

SPIDER BITE

LMFAO BOOP!

Damn his roommate just loves to study.

That is a lot of sweat tho

“I’M A MAN.“ - MILES

Haircut looks cool though if you ask me.

“EVERYONE KNOWS!” - MILES

“WOAH SHE’S TALL” - MILES

PETER droppin’ bops huh??

OOOO THAT LANDING WAS EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!

That was some freaky shit when that spider glitched though. It kinda turned into a thriller movie for a minute.

DAAAMMMNNN a normal person would be dead

“Stanton Island maybe but not Brooklyn!” - PETER

You better catch him!!!

he better not say you only get one of th…….. AAAHHHHH HE SAID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE FUCKING SAID IT!!!!!!!!!!

PROWLER got a lot of balls flyin’ up on him like that.

WILSON FISK IS TOOOO FUCKIN’ BIG!!!!!!!

Dang, these glitches remind me of when Vanellelope has hers. (I think her name is spelled wrong but it’s whatever at this point.)

You know whenever people make promises they sometimes are hard to keep.

WTF HE’S BLONDE!!!!!!!! WOAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OH HELL NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS MOTHERFUCKER JUST KILLED… AHHHHHHH

ROFL “Yeah I think it’s a BANKSY.” - BYSTANDER

RIO is the sweetest mom ever.

PETER should not have gone out that way! MAAAAANNNNNN

STAN LEE R.I.P

Boy, you better not jump off that building that black in you bette… LOL, HE TOOK HIS ASS RIGHT BACK DOWN!

damn, he messed up the hard-drive.

Aww, I love that ominous blue and red lighting… good symbolism.

PETER B. PARKER

Spider-Man for the last 22 years

blah blah blah workin’ hard and fallin’ in love

15 years past

buried Aunt May

Split up with MJ

Seahorses mate for life

“Could you image a seahorse seeing another seahorse… and then making it work.” - PETER B PARKER

pizza is life

YEAH, THAT BLONDE SHIT THREW ME FOR A LOOP TOO!

“Adios” - MILES

DAAAMMMNN he didn’t have to do PETER B like that!

“Looks like a child dressed like spider-man dragging a homeless corpse behind a train.” - POLICE OFFICER

Aye, I fuck with the song that was being played through that guy’s headphones even though I don’t even know what it was.

“Why is your body another shape” - MILES damn that’s fucked up

GOOODDDDDAMMMMN THAT GLITCH FUCKED HIM UP!

These fucking sweatpants man

“DON’T PLAY WITH ME.“ - MILES (black people love that line lol)

“You good with that Spider-Man?!“ - MILES

“In my universe, this place closed 6 years ago. I don’t know why.” - PETER B PARKER (Probably because the restaurant has a C rating)

Was lowkey waiting for a roach to crawl across something

I LOVE THIS SONG!

“Spider-Man doesn’t wear a cape.” - MILES (He doesn’t wear sweatpants either)

How tf did WILSON FISK get his BIG ASS INTO THAT CAR?!?!?!

lol his booty jiggled a bit hehehehehe

hold up this chick sound like Jessie from Toy Story…

WOAH either she a freak or she likes pushing people

“And I for one can’t wait to watch.” - DR. OC (WTF DID SHE JUST SAY!!)

LOL, HE HIT ‘EM WITH THE ‘HEY’.

Aww, they’re having a bonding moment!

GWEN STAC(E)Y UP IN THIS BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Last 2 years

Joined a band

Saved her dad

Couldn’t save her PETER PARKER

Doesn’t do friends to save herself feeling.

Oh, we’re getting a little WILSON FISK flashback.

Damn, why is she driving so fast…

Something like that was bound to happen I’m sorry to say.

This dude really got some board shoulders.

SPIDER PEOPLE

Why does PETER B PARKER have on two different types of shoes?

BRUH AUNT MAY CAME FOR HIM!

DAAAANNNGG AUNT MAY THUGGIN’ HUH!?!?!?!?!

TRIGGERED

DEAD AUNT MAY has “HELLO MY NAME IS …” cards

“Wherever I go, the wind follows.” - SPIDER-MAN NOIR

BRUH JOHN MAOULNEY

SPIDER-MAN NOIR

Year: 1933

Job: Private Eye

Likes: Drinking egg creams and fighting Nazis (A LOT)

“Sometimes I let matches burn down to my fingertips just to feel something anything.”

PENI PARKER SPIDER

Year: 3145

Has a psychic link with a spider that lives inside of her father’s robot.

Lost her father

BEST BUDS FOR LIFE

SPIDER-HAM

PETER PORKER

Bitten by a radioactive pig

Photographer for the Daily Beagle

Usually, when he’s not working like a dog he chasing a story

Likes to frolic and dance while doing it in his pants.

SAD FACE EMOJI

if stitch had a glitch lol

PETER B PARKER really puttin’ MILES on blast.

STOP FUCKING CROWDING HIM!!!!!!!!!!!

This movie is back on their spooky ooky shit

Damn only if he knew his uncle was the PROWLER...

LOL, THAT MUSIC!!!!!!!!!

RUN BOY RUN THIS WORLD ISN’T MEAN FOR YOU!

BRUH PENI’S FACE!!!

“This is a pretty hardcore origin story.“ - SPIDER-MAN NOIR

“We don’t pick the ballroom we just dance.” - SPIDER-MAN NOIR

OOOFFF WHEN AUNT MAY SAYS TAKE IT OUTSIDE SHE MEANS IT!

Of course, MILES dad is on the way

OH, SHIT SHOW HIM YOUR FUCKING FACE!!!

OH, FUCK!!!!!!

How the fuck you gonna be flying around without some type of bulletproof vest. DAMN SMH

Man, a kid should not be seeing someone die right in front of them.

JEFFERSON didn’t deserve to find his brother that way.

I’m glad they’re having a heart to heart to him. But that room is too small

“MILES the hardest part about this job is that you can’t save everyone“ - SPIDER-HAM

“Do animals talk in this dimension because I don’t want to freak him out.“ - SPIDER-HAM

Let the bodies hit the floor.

“A leap of faith” - PETER B PARKER

At least his dad came by to speak to him.

He had that boy fucked up again!

AUNT MAY A THUG BRO!!!!

THIS SONG IS GETTIN’ ME HYPED UP AND I’M NOT EVEN IN THE FUCKING MOVIE!

Man them taking the bus is really killin’ me

Bruh the waiter

ROFL

BATTLE ROYALE BABY!!!!

YEAH MILES

“Do you have a problem with cartoons?!?!” - SPIDER-HAM

PENI I’m sorry to say but your BUD FOR LIFE is gone.

MILES is a smooth criminal!!

WILSON FISK BIG MAD!!

I find it so cool that each time they jumped back into the portal it was reflected off of them.

ROFL “That’s all folks” “Is he allowed to say that legally?”

WILSON FISK always tryin’ to hurt somebody damn!

NOBODY TOOK YOUR FUCKING FAMILY BITCH THAT WAS YOU! IF YOU TRULY KNEW YOUR WIFE YOU WOULD’VE KNOWN THAT SHE DIDNT GET JIGGY WITH THAT SHIT PERIOD!

THE SHOULDER TOUCH

MILES did that (with help of course)

C-Mobile = T-Moblie hehehehehehe

BRUH HE DID WILSON FISK DIRTY!!!

MILES MORALES

SPIDER-MAN for 2 days

Finally, finished his essay

Saved a lot of people

Spent time with his father

Got hit by a drone as well

Had a proper meeting with his roommate

Slapped his sticker where his dad won’t find it

Will always remember his friends.

“Anyone can wear the mask. You can wear the mask. If you didn’t know that before I hope you know that now.“ SPIDER-MAN (MILES)

_________________________________

Y’ALL THERE WAS A GLITCH IN THE SYSTEM! Everything and I mean EVERYTHING! So thankful I was able to salvage a little bit of it back. I really do wish I was able to get what I said at the end because I meant it. :(

_________________________________

EDIT: I was fast forwarding through the movie to get it off of my “continue watching” list and I discovered something at the end! So I’ll be making a bit of an edit. (This is a reminder that you need to ALWAYS STAY AT THE END OF EVERY MARVEL! (smh I made a rookie mistake))

James Blake has such an amazing voice

MEANWHILE IN NUEVA YORK

“I was gone for less than 2 hours.” - MAN

THE BEST LESS 2 HOURS OF MY LIFE!

oooo the man’s name is MIGUEL

Earth ‘67

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH THE MEME THE MEME!!!!!!!!!!

“How dare you point at me!” - SPIDER-MAN

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jcnkrats · 5 years ago

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guess who’s back at it again?? it’s phe, hello world, you already know who i am, so let me introduce you to my second son, the junkrat. see below for all relevant information!! (like this or react on discord for plots!!)

skeleton: the junkrat

faceclaim: avan jogia

name: zayn anthony

gender & pronouns: cis male, he/him

age: twenty-two

major: mechanical engineering, studio art minor

clubs: environmental conservation club, gsa president

living arrangement: probably a one person dorm on campus but if u want a roommate connection come talk to me

employment: valet at giovanni’s

you can find his full biography at this link here, but if you’re looking for a more tldr version, keep reading below!!

grew up in ashmont w/ just his mom. his dad was like...there but wasn’t very present in his life so that’s a thing

fell in love w/ his neighbor, wanted to scream about his relationship to the world, but his neighbor (lucas) was embarrassed to be seen with zayn so he made zayn keep their relationship a secret

(suicide tw!) and they were fine with that for a while until senior year, when lucas took his own life and left zayn to mourn in secret

this is when he turned to art, as it was the only way he knew to express his emotions

he got a full ride to st. etienne’s bc of his grades and his financial situation (he’s lowkey smart, underrated smart, still a bit of an idiot smart), and just wants to do his best

first generation college student!!

very very very gay!! (sexuality is fluid tho ya know, so you never know what could happen!!)

headcannons:

zayn is closer to his mom than to his dad. he ended up coming out to her soon after lucas passed away. she is the only other person who knows about their relationship. she apologized for every comment she had ever made about him not having a girlfriend, he forgave her immediately.

zayn knows a shit ton about cars and i do not, but that’s okay!! we’re gonna get through this!! the car he has right now is very reminiscent of bella swan’s from the twilight saga. we’re talking orange, we’re talking old, we’re talking kind of a piece of shit. he’s done a lot of work on it but it’s still a piece of absolutely shit, so instead, he gets around more often on the motorcycle that he made from scratch using scraps that he found!!

he really wants to just make art for a living, but he knows that he’s probably not going to have the chance to do that, so instead, he’s sort of settled on the fact that he’s probably going to be in some sort of an engineering job for a manufacturing plant for the rest of his life. this does not mesh well with zayn, he wants to leave his mark on the world, mechanical engineering does not let him leave his mark on the world

this is not his secret but it is sort of a secret?? this goes with wanting to leave his mark on the world, but he loves graffiti. he’s regular grade a miles morales in that he likes leaving little pieces of art everywhere he can. if you look closely around town, you can see lots of places where stickers of his art are

zayn plays as luigi when he plays mario party/kart!!

has a v e r y questionable fashion taste, but it’s okay, as long as he’s happy, that’s all that matters, we stan forever

definitely owns at least two vape pens so that when he misplaces one, he cane still use the other (*tyra banks vc* nicotine addiction, but make it fashion)

definitely a huge optimist, even tho things can be really rough sometimes

is honestly really scared of graduating and moving away from his mom. he’s convinced he’ll probably stay in ashmont (or at least connecticut) forever

connection to daisy

“do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you god?”

zayn nodded, hoping that would satisfy the man’s request, but when he continued to stare at him expectantly, he figured that a more vocal answer was probably more what they were looking for. “i do,” he said, taking a deep breath to prepare for the intense conversation he knew was ahead of him.

“tell us everything you know about the disappearance of daisey rutherford.”

he thought back to that night, to the party, to the way that oz’s house had felt. he had left early, had wanted to stop by the junkyard on the way home, didn’t like the crowds and the smell of liquor and sweat and weed all rolled into one. he just needed some time to himself, and the junkyard was the one place he knew he could get that. he hadn’t meant to stumble across a dead body. “i saw her earlier that night at a party, at oz lamar’s house. she made me drive her there, i presume so that she didn’t drive under the influence, i don’t know, i didn’t ask, she didn’t answer. a little bit into the night i told her i was leaving, to text me if she needed me to drive her home. i never heard from her. the next time i saw her was when i found her, dead, on my way home from the junkyard.”

“what was your relationship with ms. rutherford? why were you the one driving her to the party?”

“we had a sort of…agreement,” he said, not knowing if that was the right word to use for the relationship that daisey and him had. “she knew that my family was not exactly well off and that i’ve always had sort of a penchant for cars. so, whenever she needed her car fixed up or a ride somewhere, she’d ask me to do it for her, and she’d hand me cash under the table for it. without her, i don’t know if i could have afforded to buy food or gas or anything of the sort.”

“so would you consider the two of you close?”

he chuckled softly with a slight shake of his head. “not at all, daisey wasn’t close to anyone, let alone people she considered beneath her. i was more like the help than an equal, someone who worked for her, not with her. if it weren’t for the money, i don’t know if i ever would have helped her. we operated in very different circles, with very different types of people.”

“how can we be sure you were not responsible for ms. rutherford’s death?”

“officer, i’ve dealt with the untimely death of a young person before, someone who was extremely close to me. i still haven’t recovered from it.” he paused for a moment. “i wouldn’t wish that on anyone.”

connection ideas!!

people he’s hooked up w/ in the past, present, or future

someone who also grew up near him who was very *eyes emoji* about him and lucas

an unrequited crush (someone crushing on him)

other scholarship kids who he can play “look at all the weird rich people” with

pals

people who dislike him because he’s poor

anything at all!! let’s do this shit!!

#veritasintro

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ac-ars · 6 years ago

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easy

damn she is here, i couldnt write anything yesterday becauseeee i was at work and i had exam today and then i procrastinated but yes she is here

day 4 - “We’re roommates and we’ve barely interacted so far, but one night there’s a thunderstorm and I’m a serious astraphobic and come into your room shaking because I don’t know what else to do and you lull me to sleep by stroking my hair”

🌙

easy

Matteo can't really tell what wakes him up in the middle of the night. Was it a thunder or maybe the light on in the kitchen he can see, because he left the door of his bedroom open since it's been hot as fuck recently and the more air flow he can get the better. Anyway Lyra isn't really anywhere near him as she tends to, but maybe she is with Luna, who knows, his cat is a traveller since Luna moved in and he doesn't mind, but she is kinda scared of storms so he would love to have her here.

But the light is on in the kitchen, and despite the fact that he doesn’t wanna, he needs to go and check on whoever (most likely Luna) has a problem over there. Maybe she is getting her night snack? Though, this would be weird, because she decided to stop with this habit. He knows that mostly from the sticker on the fridge she probably put it and he can’t say he isn’t proud of her.

Matteo gets up eventually with a heavy sigh and stretches himself yawning loudly. He leaves his room and finds Luna in the kitchen with Lyra sitting next to her on the counter while the Mexican girl is making some tea.

“Can’t sleep?” he asks and regrets it immediately, because she jumps so much she almost throws her mug off the counter making Lyra meow.

“Jesus Christ Matteo Balsano don’t you dare to scare me like that, please,” she mumbles, trying to chill her breathing and closing her eyes for a moment. “Why are you here?”

“I would love to ask you the same question, did something happen?”

She hums playing with the spoon in the mug. “Not really, I just couldn’t sleep. Now why you?”

Matteo hums caressing his jaw. “Something woke me up and I noticed light on, so I decided to check what’s going on.”

Luna nods, not saying anything else, just focuses on the electric kettle until it turns off. This is all kinds of weird for Luna, who is usually all bubbly and talkative while now she said nothing to make a conversation.

They aren’t the best of friends, she actually isn’t living with him that long, she needed a place to stay for now, because she decided she can’t live with her best friend who keeps setting her up with every boy existing and mixing with her head while trying to give her some good advice. Matteo understands that it can be pretty annoying and Ambar said her cousin was looking for a place to live, actually a room, since she cant afford whole apartment. He actually needed someone to move in after Gaston gave up on Argentina and left to England without saying bye.

So Luna moved in with her mess and colorful stuff, leaving flowers everywhere and leaving books around. Surprisingly Matteo never minded that, she is still better than Gaston who kept telling him puns about every single thing in their apartment, and when at first it was just annoying, the puns itself, later it was too much the same jokes one by one and generally at the end Matteo wished him to choke on his dumb puns.

She is always in good mood, always singing something, and humming, dancing while cooking some basic shit, because for the love of the universe, she can’t cook at all. But now, here he has her, looking around anxiously and biting on her lower lip as she is pouring the hot water into her mug.

“Hey, you,” he murmurs and pokes her on the ribs when she puts the kettle away. “What is going on?”

She opens her mouth to say something, but another lightning blinks behind the curtains and her eyes shut close when she waits for the thunder to come. When it does she shivers and takes deep breath and Matteo guesses that she is scared of the thunder or something so he takes his arm around her shoulders. “Do you want me to stay with you here?”

Luna sends him a look, mixing her tea so the sugar can melt in there, and nods a little, leaning to his side. Lyra mrrows at them, making them laugh slightly and Luna looks up at him. “Do you wanna some tea too?”

Before he manages to answer, she already stands high, high on her tiptoes so she is the tallest Luna, and reaches to the high cupboard to get Matteo his own mug. She of course picks his favorite, what makes him smile. Without saying anything, just listening to the sound of the rain hitting the glass of the windows, he watches how she takes the tea and doesn’t put any sugar in the mug before pouring the rest of the water. He is kinda surprised with how quickly this girl picks up on others’ habits, always remembering what one likes and what they don’t, but that’s a very big pro of living with her.

He stands next to her, leaning his hips back against the counter as they wordlessly drink their tea and as surprised as Matteo is in this very minute, it’s such a calming time, where he can think of whatever he wants, while making sure Luna isn’t shivering anymore when a lightning strikes somewhere away from them.

“Do you want to know a secret?” he asks eventually, as he is done with his tea and Lyra jumps annoyed after he puts his empty mug on the counter next to her.

Luna scrunches her nose as she takes her eyes to him, maybe a little troubled to get out of her thoughts, but she hums encouraging him to speak more.

“I can teach you how to count the distance from where the lightning did strike.” He sends her a smile as she gasps surprised and jumps excited. “Yes, teach me. I wanna know.”

🌙

They are in the living room now, Luna’s tea half forgotten as they are standing by the window, his cold hands are on her shoulders keeping her steady, because now she seems excited instead of anxious, and that’s already blink of “his” Luna here.

He hums softly next to her ear to get her attention back to him and when she does he smiles. “Now we gotta wait for the lightning to appear somewhere so we can see it. When we do, you count seconds starting when the lightning hits, and you count until you hear the thunder. Is it clear?” he asks to make sure and Luna nods surely, while nibbling on her lower lip.

They gotta wait few minutes, but when it blinks, the brunette starts counting in her head and he knows it, because now her eyes are much more focused and her mouth are moving barely, but they are.

When the thunder sounds loudly she jumps, but he is holding her close, so she doesn’t seem to mind that. “How much was it?” he asks, resting his chin on top of her head.

“Nine, I think.” She turns to him and he leans her against the cold window and she pouts at him when he doesn’t answer at first. Such an impatient, soft soul. “So you have nine seconds and you gotta divide it by three, then you will get how many kilometers away from you the lightning did strike at first place. Well, more or less, but that’s helpful, you get to focus on something when the storm is somewhere around.”

Luna nods slowly and smiles a little at him. “Thanks, that actually calmed me down a bit here.”

“You haven’t told me you were scared of thunderstorms before, though. You could’ve and it would be easier since the beginning.”

She clears her throat and blushes tiny, before moving away from him and curling on the couch. He follows her, because why not, besides it’s easier to see her and hear her in the darkness and while the rain is getting heavier.

“I’m not really, really scared of the thunders tho,” she mumbles and Matteo frowns a little, resting next to her more comfy than not, but she doesn’t mind him so close. “I’m just paranoid after this movie I saw the other day where some lightning struck something, and it started burning, and I’m just the most terrified of fire.”

Her voice gets a little messy and quiet, and he just hugs her tightly, what apparently surprises her, but eventually Luna just hides on his chest and sighs. “It’s not something that keeps happening often, but Lyra was messing with my comforter to get cuddles so it kinda woke me up, and then there was this loud, super close thunder and I died.”

Matteo starts humming and playing with her hair as she talks and when she stops he just boops her nose. “Still, that’s okay thing to be afraid of, it’s not like I would make fun of you like I do when you sing loudly under the shower or wash your teeth while looking in the mirror. We all are scared of something.”

Luna hums and looks up at him. “Are you scared of something then?”

“No.” He laughs and she huffs. “But I am big Matteo and I’m here to hug you and make you hot chocolate when you are scared.”

“There was no chocolate yet, where is it?”

He laughs so much and pulls her closer. “Later. Now we shall sleep, since tomorrow is not a weekend and we both have uni and other important shit.”

Luna rolls her eyes and gets up, taking the blanket around her shoulders. As she is about to get into her bedroom, he just takes her wrist and pulls her back. “You don’t think I will leave you to sleep alone, even if you seem to be okay already.”

She hums, ending up just lacing their fingers together and following him. “So I’m gonna sleep with you in one bed, and we cuddle with Lyra until the storm is done?” Matteo laughs when she says it. Out loud it seems a little funnier, but yeah that’s what he is planning to do, but he doesn’t confirm or deny her words.

He takes the pillow, obviously, making her pout a little, but then he just pulls her to his chest, so she can rest like that. At first she stirs around, trying to get into some comfy position to stay in, despite the fact that he is sure she just needs to move around, because she wouldn’t be named Luna Valente.

Eventually she rests in one place, letting him pull a cover over them, Lyra mrrows trying to get somewhere between them, but when she doesn’t fit her tiny head anywhere, she just sticks by Matteo’s side letting him scratch her belly for a moment.

Luna sticks to him tightly, she obviously loves being touchy, cuddle, hug, whatever can someone give her as long as it’s physical closure, and there is nothing here except the need of someone else who is warm to hold her. Matteo knows it perfectly, he learned that she is just the type of person who is better comforted, when hugged.

He starts playing with her hair as he can’t really fall asleep, he wraps single strands around his fingers, tangles a little more than those curls already are, and in a few moments her lashes tickle him on the neck for the last time, and her breathing is finally stable.

🌙

Few weeks later, this time he isn’t woken up by the light, or Lyra, or the thunder itself. He just notices someone curling next to him under the sheets and hugging him tightly, so he guesses he can sleep and not try to shut the blinds on the window. The sleep comes back super quickly, he is lulled to very, very quiet sound of soft whispers with counting, and as long as she is here, he knows that she is all okay.

#soy luna #lutteo #lutteoficweek #my writing

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walkinsauce · 7 years ago

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Becoming Poly- Chapter 14: My Turn

Sorry I didn’t blog last week. Do you know how hard it is to write about polyamory under the same roof as your parents? I was scared one of them was going to pop in and ask,

“Christina, why do you need that bottle of wine in your room?”

“Paper weight.”

So, ya, I’m sure hundreds of self help books would call that an “excuse” for not writing, but trust me: it felt TOO CREEPY. You try to write about sex while your parents are in the next room watching My Three Sons. See how you feel. I would, however, like to thank all my Tumblr readers for hitting the heart button on all my blogs. Quick shout outs to:

ilove-seductive-mature attractive-milf-girls hot-elder-chamber fat-milf-foxy-imgs bimbo-slutty-girlz fuck-sexy-fat-pussies fucking-amazing-fat-cunts jugs-nice-pictures

It’s good to know I’ve found my audience. Though I do wish you guys would put some capital letters in your names. You’re better than that.

I’ve calmed down from my boyfriend’s first “other sex” in our relationship. I’m pretty lucky that I have so many people reaching out to me, who are better versed in open relationships than I am. A particular comic friend in Florida always sums it up so well:

“Your primary is your home. These other people are the Disneylands and carnivals of the world. Fun day excursions, but you don’t want it every day.”

I think that’s my problem: Part of me would prefer to be the Disneyland. And good news for you, I’m way cheaper.

I still have a crush on the one guy I texted at O’Brien’s the day of my breakdown. I know he’s wary of the poly thing, and knowing my boyfriend, but I can’t help it. I’ve known him for years. I’ve had a crush on him for a year. I can’t help it if I’m a coward, and don’t know how to approach him. (Especially considering the circumstances.) Me sending him Snapchats that he’ll never open is enough of a rush for me.

It’s Friday night. I’m sitting at Ollo, as I often do during happy hour, wondering what I’m going to do when all the regulars go home at 8pm. It’s not a party city. We could use a Malibu’s Most Wanted reboot out here. But with the tiny bit of confidence I get from deep fried zucchini sticks and house wine, I decide to text my crush:

“Do you ever open Snapchat anymore, or am I sending things to an archive…?”

(With a smirky face emoji, obvi.)

He writes back minutes later.

“Hahahaha! I just watched the snaps! They made me laugh!”

It was at least a month’s worth of events, even capturing his own roommates. It must have been quite the montage.

“Thanks for sending them! I’m sorry I’m the worst. They were really funny. How long have you been sending them?”

Oh months. They’re my favorite seed I’ve ever planted.

“You might have just gotten something from me.”

I open Snapchat and see his name light up in full arrowed purple. I’m ridiculously excited for a girl my age. I’m starting to tune out the old man beside me bragging about how he gave Rosie O’Donnell her big break. That’s how you can tell I keep it real in this town- I’d much rather chase romance than my own career. (GOOD MOVE, EH?)

He writes again:

“I just finished a show in Hermosa Beach and I got to watch a lady heckle another comedian by saying, “we’re never going to be friends.”

Wow. The edginess of Hermosa Beach hecklers. What’s next? No tip? Shocking. I’m walking home, past people sleeping in their cars. At least my career is going better than theirs. But it’s a good reminder there’s no parking restrictions on PCH. Man, if any road needs some street cleaning…

It takes us another 18 texts to finally figure out we should meet up, but when he writes,

“I’d be down to meet up somewhere!”

I’m immediately wet. (It happens fast at my age.) He suggests the exact two bars in Santa Monica I was going to suggest. Power of the Leo and Sagittarius. (I probs just lost nine readers by referencing astrology.)

I get to Rick’s on Main Street slightly before him. I don’t have my real glasses on me, cuz I’ve been wearing my prescription sunglasses all day. Didn’t expect to be out past sunset, cuz that’s Malibu “night life.” So I’m going to be mildly blind all night. People always tell me,

“You should get laser eye surgery.”

Why the fuck would I do that? My glasses cover at least a dozen lines on my face. I’m thinking about getting a new pair, with thicker rims. I’m growing out bangs next. The date will be fine as long as I don’t send him into the kitchen when he asks where the bathroom is.

Now here’s the grey area…

Do I tell my bf right now that I’m going to meet this crush? I don’t know anything is going to happen. There’s a good chance we will just be two (ASTROLOGICAL PERFECT MATCHES) drinking buddies in a bar. Two comics, talking shop. Do we really need to set off the alarm before there’s a fire? As per my communication skills, I think def not. Like this blog, I will leave it till the last minute. (Typed at 3:13am, 4:45am after proofreading.)

I’m pretty sure I look like shit, but the good thing about somebody knowing me through comedy, is they always see me looking like shit. I’ve never been super comfortable looking “good” on stage. Maybe this comes from starting stand up 19 years ago, and always fearing women wouldn’t like me if I looked pretty. Most of the women in a comedy club are on dates, and I would literally get glares as they gripped their men. So early in my career, I started to wear hoodies on stage, and cover as much skin as possible. It was my passive aggressive way of saying,

“Don’t look at me. Listen to me.”

(Also, “I’m not here to steal your boyfriend. I’m here to make forty bucks.”)

This is another reason I love the rise of feminism: I pray it means the death of catty-ism. (An energy I sadly grew up with.)

So ya, back to the poly stuff: I’m on an impromptu date with my crush, my bf doesn’t really know, I look like shit, but can’t see that cuz I left my glasses at home. He walks in the bar and I’m almost in shock that we’re together. I think it’s been months since we’ve been in the same room together. And since when did I start going after things I want…?

I’m shockingly comfortable around him. That’s a plus about bonding with someone while you’re in a relationship. You don’t try as hard to sell yourself as when you’re single. You’re just you, and if they don’t like it, who cares? (I admire people who are like this all the time.)

He suggests we go to Chez Jay next. Ooooooooh, I love a new bar. Never been. So excited. Even more excited that he’s ditched his car, and will get it in the morning. I love a man who drinks responsibly. (Is this how I book a MADD commercial, or do I still need to have babies?)

Chez Jay is great. I like having bars like this on my radar. The conversation is going steady, tho I’m praying my primary and polyamory doesn’t come up. I just want to enjoy this night, as it is. The same way I did as a single person. I really don’t want to dive into the politics of it all. I think I’m more terrified that talking about it will scare him away…

When Chez Jay closes, he asks me if I wanna come over for some porch beers.

Yup. You know I do.

Again… is this the moment I text my bf and let him know I’m going over to a guy’s house? I mean technically, there’s a good chance nothing will happen. Seems too soon to ring the alarm. And if there’s one expression comedians know, it’s “too soon.”

He gets us an Uber/Lyft, whichever- most cars in town have both stickers. When we get to his house, I hit the bathroom. Every girl’s most investigative move in a dude’s house. Is his hand towel also his bath towel? Is this a one towel wonder situation? Does he own toilet paper? I don’t make it that far, because I’ve sprayed surprise period all over my undies. (If those Tumblr names didn’t scare you away, this surely will, eh?)

I search the cupboards for anything remotely handy in this moment. There’s nothing. Maybe I should hit the kitchen, and look for coffee filters. Those should work, right?

Nah, I’ll just do the ol’ “tie toilet paper around my underwear” move. It’s the move you do when you first get your period, in case you don’t know. (I FEEL SO YOUNG AGAIN! MAYBE I DON’T NEED BANGS!)

Porch beers are the best. I’m a fan of his roommates. We’re all having a great time, but then…

Something more unexpected than my bloody kitty happens. This beautiful, young blonde chick walks up to the porch.

“Hey, I live across the street. All my friends went to sleep, so I thought I’d come introduce myself.”

Holy. Mother. Trucker. It’s 3:00am. This isn’t the moment I was expecting competition…

But here we are.

The guys grab her a beer. Now again, I am not into “catty-ism.” BUT- I am a share holder of “insecurity-ism.” And if I were any one of these guys on this porch, I would def hit on this chick instead of me. She’s legit extremely cool. There’s a part of me that wonders if this is fate’s little way of saying,

You’re not ready to pop your poly cherry yet.

I never rang the alarm. I can still get out of this… innocently?

Either way, I think she might be might be my personal savior (another word I spell wrong cuz I’m Canadian and think there’s a “u” in it.)

“Do you have a tampon?”

“Of course! Come on over!”

She takes me over to her apartment, and literally gives me all her pads cuz she doesn’t use them. Bonus. My favourite sleep aid. I fucking love this girl.

We head back over to the boys, and I know I’m drunk, bleeding and tired. I ask my crush if there’s a place I can crash. He escorts me to his roommate’s room, and tucks me in. (Don’t worry- the roommate wasn’t there. That would have been the real poly, eh?)

As I fall asleep, like a loser at a slumber party who goes to bed first, I can’t help but think,

“He’s a great guy. She’s a great girl. If they hook up, I’m fine with it.”

PRACTICE COMPERSION! Why is compersion so much easier when you’re not dating someone? I fall asleep/pass out- which ever you like to believe at this hour. In the morning, I wake up in a super funny comedian’s bed. Alone. I make the bed, as a sure fire way to say “a chick was here” and text my crush.

“Oh I wanna say bye, but I don’t know what room is yours.”

I can’t just knock on random doors… Plus he might not be alone. I def don’t want to interrupt kinky times with the pad donor. All of a sudden, one of the roommates pops out of his room. I ask him which room is _______’s and he shows me. In this moment, I know I’m risking becoming a piece of gossip my boyfriend might hear…

And not through me…

I lightly knock on the door. When I hear a groggy “come in” I open the door.

There’s NO hot, cool, tampon savior chick in his bed. He’s just sleeping, post drinking style, alone.

“Oh, I just wanted to say goodbye…”

And then, without saying another word, I crawl into bed with him.

#polyamory #poly #relationships #ollo #malibu #snapchat #comedians #comedians who date #Chez Jay #Santa Monica #Too Soon #MADD #polyam positivity #polyamourous #polyamorous #christina Walkinshaw #walkinsauce

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choisgirls · 8 years ago

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This sounded cute to me, but idk. Mc moving in with rfa+V+saeran? Like getting a house or apartment together. (or in jumin's case a giant ass penthouse, smh rich people)

A/N: I just wow i loVE THIS okay thank you ~Admin 404

Smh rich people indeed (i had way too much fun with V and i had to stop myself from going on and on) ~ Admin 626

*YOOSUNG:-I think the two of you would end up with a small apartment to start out! Move up to a house a while after he starts his career-Your living room is only part living room. Everyone has to fight each other to sit on the couch when they visit-It’s only part living room because y’all spoil Lisa to no eND so there’s a huge cat tree and a ton of cat play houses jumin approves and actually gets a few of the playhouses for y’all-Sure you could have made that extra room a cat room but???? No???-Game room????-IT’S LITERALLY THE BEST ROOM IN Y’ALLS APARTMENT it’s decked out in all of your nerdy-gaming related things (figures, posters, games themselves) and seriously it’s just pride and joy nerd-Your bedroom is overrun with plushies, neither of you can really tell whose is whose anymore-He makes you breakfast every day! The first day, he tried to bring it to you in bed but that was a disaster when he tripped over the plushies and you woke up with an omelette on your face-Y’alls apartment is covered in cute things- stickers are everywhere, homemade gifts and decorations, and it just looks kinda like pinterest threw up in the apartment-Your kitchenware is SO CUTE like your ladle is nessie, your measuring cups are whale shapes, and he has these cartoon cups that he tried hiding from you but they’re just so cute you can’t help yourself

*JUMIN:-Y’all didn’t have to get a new place, he just moved you into his penthouse i mean didn’t he already in his route, LMAO-But anything you want, he will get it for you-He has a lot more cat shaped things than you originally thought though-Like cat shaped bowls, has a few coffee mugs with cats on them, things like that-NOW THAT Y’ALL LIVE TOGETHER YOU GET TO SEE THOSE SWEAT PANTS HE’S TALKED ABOUT, HALLELUJAH-He gives you complete control of decorating but it’s like??? Jumin I wanted to do this together???-So he helps pick out throw pillows, new art pieces, anything you ask him to do-The one thing he requires is a tON OF PICTURES OF THE TWO OF YOU-FRAMED, HANGING, EVERYWHERE-Seriously there’s a painting of the two of you plus Elizabeth hanging up in the house but at least it’s adorable

*SAEYOUNG:-Also just moves you into his house- i mean why not, it’s big enough-IT’S LIKE LIVING WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND BECAUSE HE’S SUCH A FUCKING DORK-Y’all don’t even sleep in your bed for like the first week, you two are having pillow forts in the living room-You can have a room to yourself, for whatever you’re passionate about. Gaming? He has a room for that, he’ll share. Art? Room for you. A room dedicated to your favourite figurines from your favourite games or shows? He’ll have to get you a separate room he isn’t sharing his-He’s got plates that are planets and they’re AMAZING y’all i almost bought some the other day omg-But he’s such a brat, like he plays pranks on you to wake you up-You’ve woken up to whipped cream in the face more times than you can count but you’ve also woken him up with cold water soooo-No item in the house is safe from you two “playing” if you catch my drift wink wonk-Saeran hates both of you so much

*SAERAN:-Definitely not used to having you actually live with him-You walked in the bathroom while he was in the shower and you never knew that he could scream so high pitched-Black out curtains throughout the house because???? The sunlight sucks-He’s actually lowkey really cute and likes to put pictures of the two of you in frames and just put them on bookshelves or hang them up-But then he like denies that he puts them up??? “Idk how it got there, it looks terrible” uh yeah okay-YOUR KITCHEN IS THE MOST DECKED OUT ROOM because the two of you actually really like to cook and it’s a bonding thing -Otherwise, your bedroom is decked out with the comfiest bed, blankets, and coolest TV because MOVIE MARATHONS-Every time you buy some cute little ceramic animals you can’t find it ten minutes later. He hides them in various places because he hates them-Actually really loves the idea of painting the ceiling like the sky with some clouds but only in the bedroom, the rest of the house cannot deal with that-The two of you pick out everything together! Everything has nice neutral tones,everything goes together perfectly (just like the two of you aw cuties)

*ZEN- with zen, it wasn’t a slow move in where u just kinda leftthings at his house and things slowly collected over time- nah that’s not Zen’s style- of course he would make a big deal about you moving in- “mC YOU CAN’T STAY OVER WHAT WILL PEOPLE THINK OF US”- “Zen we’ve already done the diddly do, what r u ashamedof”- honestly ur lucky he didn’t make y’all wait til after youguys got married- but it’s worth the wait!!!- Zen completely redid his place just for you - he denies the fact that jumin helped him but u knowjumin did- it’s so cute!!!- piCTURES OF U EVERYWHERE- the kitchen has a whole lot of sweet things bc he knows ulove sweets-there’s a sex swing in his bedroom- Seeing Zen in sweats??? H O T- Zen sees in ur pajamas? He suddenly has to go shower???- Poor you gets roped into Zen’s workouts- he claims it’s ur fault since ur sweets are fattening himup- living with him issuper peaceful tho???- he has self care days??? Who does that???- face masks, bubble baths with candles, treats himself tomani pedis- and he takes such good care of you!- because of him, you eat more healthy! The sweets aretreats okay- and because of you, zen becomes a little more lowkeybecause you can’t always handle his dramatic ass everyone in the group chatkisses ur feet for that- You two brought out the best in each other *JAEHEE- honestly her apartment is the tiniest thing in the world- like you know the episode of Futurama where Fry moves inwith Bender?- yeah, that small- you guys end up finding a super cute apartment!!!- it is on the smaller side but it’s super cozy- flowers everywhere!!! You want the place bright for whenJaehee comes home from work - y’all have too many pillows on your bed and sofas but it’SWORTH IT- there’s a little reading nook you guys managed to create!- also, all the RFA hoes come over all the time- no matter what u guys do, u can’t stop it- one time you couldn’t get rid of Saeyoung for weeksbecause Jaehee figured out DIY Honey Buddha chips- as much as you two protest, one day futons magicallyappeared on the floor for them- Jaehee is the sweetest roommate!!!- she always leaves u little notes everywhere to let u knowshe loves you- she folds down the page corners of store catalogues if shethinks you’d like them- and she always somehow has a cup of coffee ready for youwhenever u need it???- she’s a magician- and you always makes sure she eats and rests enough *V- You guys get a house together!- You needed a room for work and he needed a room for hisart, so an apartment was definitely out of the question- you love decorating the house with him???- hE MAKES EVERYTHING SO CUTE- He hung up Christmas lights in your room! Who does that!V’s hipster ass, that’s who- Polaroids and other pictures eVERYWHERE- and of course this guys gets a record player- he puts it in the kitchen and he dances with you in thekitchen when you two cook together- actually he just dances with you when he can, music or not- you guys end up having a mini library because V is superinto learning about other cultures??? He has books on everything u can name- he ends up taking u out like every week for aestheticpics, you cant get out of it no matter what- sometimes he makes you get up to watch the sunrise withhim- it’s okay tho, u get back at him with a nERF WAR- and sometimes you use a marshmallow shooter against himrandomly- “hey mc have u seen m-“- “have U SEEN BOFA DEEZ NUTS”- he just stands there getting hit by marshmallow as hestares off into the distance- think of the scene from parks and rec when Andy shoots Benwith marshmallows- honestly u two are so cute and silly together, and all isright in the world

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softsnuper · 7 years ago

Text

[TRANS] 170528 Lee Youjin V Live Broadcast (PD101S2)

Lee Youjin, one of the eliminated trainees from Produce 101, held a live broadcast on Namoo Actors V App channel last night! He answered fan questions and talked about his time in Produce 101 so here are some highlights about what he said about the other trainees.

Fan Questions:

The trainees he was closest to were his roommates at the start of the program! He roomed with Yoon Jisung, Kim Sihyun, Lee Hoorim, Kim Hyunwoo from YG K+. He couldn’t give Jisung a call bc he was probably busy (the only one left on the show).

He talked about how he was the leader twice during (for Be Mine team 2 and Rhythm Ta). He thought being leader would be easy bc he only needed to guide and lead the other members but it was a lot more difficult than he thought.

For Be Mine, he couldn’t really help the other members with learning the dance so he felt sorry towards them. Maybe if he had chosen an easier song they wouldn’t have had such a hard time. “Truthfully i couldn’t be of any help to the others, but through our struggles we got closer and did well.“

He really likes Park Jaebum’s (Jay Park) style so that’s the reason why he chose some of the concepts that he did on PD101! He wanted to be sexy like him (t/n: I think he’s talking about his performance evaluation)

The staff played Pick Me in the background but since he was caught off guard, he was able to dance only part of it. He said the trainees practiced it so much he could do the dance in his sleep.

He promised to try and call Taewoo later! He’s in a group chat with Taewoo and Taemin so they talk a lot. They’re really fun and interesting.

A fan commented “add me to the chat too~” so he said “send us your ID (t/n: kakaotalk ID)” lol

A fan asked “Who is the most handsome in PD101″ and he said “Everyone is handsome!”

He showed off the headphones he got for completing the first stage of maboy.

Youjin’s Pick Corner!

The staff set up a bracket board to see who Youjin’s pick was among his fellow contestants on PD101. When he saw the board he said, “Wow, this is like picking for the World Cup.”

First Round:

Lee Woojin vs. Kim Yongguk vs. Jung Sewoon (he said Woojin is cute but Sewoon really helped him with the hardships of being a leader. Even though they weren’t close, they talked and texted so he was really touched. That’s why he picked Sewoon)

Lee Insoo vs. Hong Eunki vs. Kang Daniel (he chose Daniel bc he was the leader for 열어줘 and taught them a lot. Youjin said everyone in the group was already good so he had to match them well)

Kim Donghyun vs. Im Youngmin vs. Joo Jinwoo (he depended on Youngmin a lot during Be Mine and is very thankful towards him)

Kang Dongho vs. Takada Kenta vs. Kim Taewoo (he picked Taewoo bc he’s funny, sings well, and is bright. He got really close to him during the show)

Lee Kiwon vs. Yoon Heeseok vs. Kim Seonglee (he picked Seonglee and said he had enough skills to compete in any program. During practice he would lift the mood and make the trainees happy but it wasn’t broadcasted)

Lee Gwanghyun vs. Park Sungwoo (he picked Sungwoo and pet the sticker with his face on it lolol. Although Sungwoo endured a lot, he was always by Youjin’s side. They were together for Be Mine and also for 열어줘 before being eliminated. Even though Youjin was having a hard time too, he felt sorry for not being able to help him)

Second Round:

Jung Sewoon vs. Kang Daniel

Im Youngmin vs. Kim Taewoo (he chose Taewoo bc they both fell down the ranks together(?) lol)

Kim Seonglee vs. Park Sungwoo (he chose Sungwoo bc he went through a lot of hardships)

Third Round:

Kang Daniel vs. Kim Taewoo

Park Sungwoo (automatic win)

FInal Round:

Kim Taewoo vs. Park Sungwoo (when he chose Taewoo, he put his sticker on the #1 spot and pat it several times; “It’s a pity that it’s not broadcasted but he’s really funny. We practiced a lot together.”)

Note: I’ll be subbing this segment and posting it on YouTube soon! I’ll link it here when it’s done and uploaded.

Update: here is the subbed segment!

More unrelated PD101 things are under the cut! Translation by @softsnuper (may not be 100% accurate)

Youjin felt a little shy and embarrassed bc he was filming V Live alone and there were a couple Namoo staff members watching him.

He has a lot of white clothing, even white shoes.

A fan asked about the meaning of his username nay_kid and he said it meant something like “live a sincere life.” Another way of saying “no” was “nay” and “kid” is to remind him of his dreams when he was a student.

He was drinking coffee throughout the broadcast. He loves americano.

When he reached 50k hearts, he got really shy from all the love.

A fan asked if he was okay and he said yes, he’s okay and will even get checked up at the hospital so do not worry!

He has 7 self-composed songs so far! He has a lot more songs he wants to make but he doesn’t have a room for it. He wants to upload 2 songs in one month on his soundcloud.

A fan asked “you know you’re handsome, right?” and he said no, he didn’t find himself handsome but he does like how he looks and personally thinks he’s cute!

A fan asked if he was thinking about releasing an album but he said that although he wants to, he wants to work on the quality of his music a bit more and in order to release an album, he needs the support of the public/community so he’ll just upload the album on soundcloud. That way, it’s free for everyone to listen to!

A fan commented “Remember to drink a lot of water!” and he replied with “I only drink a lot of coffee.”

A fan asked “Is pressing hearts important?” and he replied with “I don’t know but please press a lot!!”

He wasn’t good at aegyo before but now he’s a lot better.

A fan asks where he learned to be so talented (?) and he said “Maybe it’s in my blood.”

He has two sisters, one older who cooks well and one younger by 6 years. He’s a bit cold like his father but his mother and older sister like to take care of him. He never fights with his sisters. Since his younger sister is still young, he hopes she studies diligently and doesn’t drink alcohol. His and his older sister’s hair looks similar. He wants to care for his younger sister too but he doesn’t really know how.

Someone asked about his taste in music but he made a pass on the question bc his answer would be too long LOL

He’s holding an event where he’s giving away items that he uses often, these includes a tracksuit he wears (for girls it may be a bit big but it’ll be warm! size 100), sunglasses, and some signed selfie polaroids.

He showed the viewers the items one by one. The sunglasses were in a case with a zipper and when he opened it the zipper fell off LMAO he kept saying it wasn’t fake, the zipper just happened to fall off bc he pulled too hard and kept laughing lololol

He had the viewers guess who his favorite artist was and promised to gift them the tracksuit! He said even tho he’s worn it, he’ll keep it very clean.

His favorite artist is Giriboy! He said when others are stressed, they may drink but he listens to Giriboy’s music instead. He really admires all of his music, it inspires him. He can sing all of his songs; his favorite by him is called “All Day Long” but not many people know it.

The second prize was the sunglasses. There’s a play he always watches every year ever since the 12th grade, he wants to participate in one bc of it. (t/n: the fans were able to guess what is was but I couldn’t really catch the name of it, sorry)

Third prize was a signed polaroid selfie! When he took the selfie and waited for it to show up on film, he kept shaking it and when he realized he wasn’t supposed to shake it, he got embarrassed.

He wrote one of his songs after watching a specific movie (t/n: I couldn’t hear the title sorry) but the song is called “Why Don’t You Call Me”.

He had a lot of fun doing the V Live bc he knows how it feels to be a fan of another person and watch their broadcasts, now he can be the one doing the broadcast and it’s fun!

He wants to take on a high school student role in his acting career bc when he’s older he won’t be able to act as a student.

He eats alone and doesn’t have a favorite food but the foods he can’t eat is tomato sauce and mustard.

His least favorite season is summer bc he dislikes mosquitoes. He likes winter bc there’s snow and Christmas. It gives him a warm and cozy feeling.

When he was younger he really liked Harry Potter, his favorite part of the series was Chamber of Secrets! (This was another quiz question for the viewers, he gave away another signed selfie polaroid)

He wants to communicate with fans more but he can’t do V Live whenever he wants and he doesn’t have a fancafe :(

#produce 101 #produce 101 season 2 #lee youjin #kim taewoo #yoon jisung #kang daniel #park sungwoo #my translation #i don't want to tag everyone he mentioned so i'll stop here lol #he's one of my favorites i'll miss him :(

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noncompliant-fuckery · 7 years ago

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Questions? :D

As you wish 😇1.You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say? - Soo… round 2 cause I’m need memories in order to say I'm not a virgin anymore lmao2.What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed? -Were both just living our lives. 3.If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care? -Nah, I just might try it with them honestly. 4.Is your last name longer than six letters? -It's exactly 6 😎5 .Was your last kiss drunk or sober? -Sober. 6.Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up? -I'm good at fucking up shit. 7.What does your last received text say? -at this moment, you just sent “I fell asleep😛” 8.How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed? -A lot, nobody counts that shit. 9.Where was your last kiss at? -Case High School I think. 10.When was the last time you saw your sister? -the 17th, that night. 11.What do you drink in the morning? -Water. 12.Where did you sleep last night? -In my dorm room. 13.Do you think relationships are hard? -They require a little work here and there but not necessarily a complicated thing to go through. They can be very simple if you allow it. Then again it depends on the circumstances I guess. 14.If you can go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you? -Idk now. Maybe small things but the way things have turned out as of right now, I'm alright with it. It obviously wasn't the end of the world. 15.You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems? -Nah not really. It ended because it had to and we both had to figure out our own shit. If anything, we’d have a chat about our lives since then, after all he was my best friend back then. I for one would want to debunk some rumors about him being some kind of addict. 16.Would you rather it be sunny or rainy? -Sunny 🌞🌞🌞🌈17.Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you? -My middle name is very common; Renee. My mom named me after some woman she admired. But my old roommate Lindsey, me and her had the same middle name. It was weird but it was perfect. Still my favorite roommate ever. 18.Are you wearing jeans, sweatpants, or pajama pants? -White/tan shorts actually. 19.Do you think you'll be in a relationship 3 years from now? -That's assuming I can see into the future and I unfortunately can not. My track record so far says no but I'm optimistic nonetheless. 20.Does anyone like you? -Yea 😎21.Have you ever kissed anyone with a name that starts with an S? -No I have not lol22.Is the last person you kissed gay? -Yup🌈23.Is there a person you CANNOT stand? -There have been, but they are irrelevant as of now. Exactly how I like them 😁😈24.Have you ever considered getting a tattoo? -Many of times. I want a armband on my forearm. I want an elephant outline and a turtle maybe on my ankle or maybe shoulder. I also want a back piece but that's gonna hurt like a bitch and I'm not sure of what yet. 25.In the past week have you cried? -Nope. Takes a lot for me to really cry.26.What breed was the last dog you saw? -Don't know breeds like that but it was black and light brown/blonde. It looked just out of its puppy stage. A teenage puppy. It was in the garden below my window with its owner. 27.Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower? -A combination of both. Just to not track too much water on the floor. Cause I'm not gonna clean that up if I do. 28.Have you ever kissed a football player? -Nope. 29.Do you think you're old? -eh sometimes. Just adult old tho like I'm not ready for all that adult, you know? 30.Do you like text messaging? -Depends on who I'm texting but yes I prefer it. 31. What type of day are you having?-Chaotic. But it has its moments. 32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?-Not seriously. 33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather?-Warm. 34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?-My dad35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling?-Relationship 36. Are you a simple or complicated person?-Complicated I think. What do you think? I'm curious 37. What song are you listening to?-Focus by H. E. R. Something I've been thinking about signing at one point actually. 38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it?-Truly 🙍39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you?-Yes, you know too much lol40. What made you start liking the person you like now?-You make me smile. 41. When did you last receive a text message?-2:59pm42. What is wrong with you right now?-Too much homework and my classes stress me out and I wish I had the summer away from school and I want to go away somewhere and I want to go to the beach and to be quite honest I'm sexuality frustrated lol but none of this is real news 😶43. How well do you know the last female you texted?-quite well 😈44. Does anyone disgust you?-eh, not really 45. Would you date someone right now if they asked?-Depends on who that someone is. 46. Are you in a good mood right now?-Sort of. I've had my nap today 😇47. Who was the last person you talked to in person?-The chick at the front desk who swiped me into the building. 48. What color shirt are you wearing?-Oh look, I'm actually wearing a shit this time haha it's white and gray and teal with black lobsters and crabs all over lol49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear?-I'm in college. Any mentions of homework is something I don't want to hear. 50. Anyone you’re giving up on?-Don't think so. 51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for?-Nope, I've moved on. 52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t?-Oh yea53. Do you like rain?-Depends on the circumstances but yes. 54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks?-Nope. I'll ask for a sip every once in awhile 55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?-Many of times. 56. Do you like to cuddle?-I'd like to cuddle57. Are you shy?-The shyest 58. Do you get along with girls?-Yep59. Have you dated the person you texted last?-Nope60. What do you carry with you at all times?-My wallet with my keys in them and a charger adapter cause not a lot of ppl have the same charger as me. Some meds for dairy consumption. Carmex, and phone. 61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you?-Sure only if I can camp out right in front of the door but let me hear and see some bullshit that's too close to me and I'm fucking out!62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months?-Definitely 63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship?-Nope64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute?-Very65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week?-I think something did but I can't remember what it was exactly. It'll require me to look back at some stuff but I'm lazy these days lol66. How old are the last three people you kissed?-Same age as me now I guess67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself? -Do them myself. I'm not into going to salons and all that shit. I'm very low maintenance. I haven't painted my nails since high school and when I did, it was always black nail polish.68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print? -neither but I'll go with leopard print if I must. 69. Do you have any stickers on your car? -I have no car. And the cars I use don't have them either. 70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne? -I was a little bit into Lil Wayne in middle school/high school. 71. Blackberry, Android, or iPhone? -Android 😊72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut? -It's been such a long time now.. Give me pizza? 73. Do you like diet soda? -I barely taste the difference so I'd drink whatever is available to me honestly. 74. What color are the walls in your room? White.. There are plenty of paintings to make up for it tho. Very homey like. 75. Are you 16 or older? -22 😏76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars? -okay here we go.. I used to be all for it because Emily was gay but the whole “who is A?” thing got out of hand. Oh and then the whole “let's kill off Emily's love interest, Maya” thing 💔 And then the “let's not tell the police we're being stalked by a killer because the stalker will tell my mom my dad's a cheater” or shit like that. Or the whole “I'm going to reveal this person as A and they finally get put in jail and then get out of jail cause y'all dumb asses felt remorse for the bitch like yall real shit didn't just get tortured in a fucking life sized ass doll house!” Like really!? And then another A pops up and shit and like if y'all don't stop fucking around and end this shit and get it over with! Idk even know why everybody hate them so much to torture them for years like that, just wild af. I think this shit got more seasons than supernatural lowkey lol. But I think/hope they are on their last round of the show this year so yay for that lolSorry I've got strong feelings towards this show… 77. Do you have a job? -Yea at this bitch ass cafeteria in my dorm. 78. What are your initials? -SRW 😇79. Did you ever have braces? Nope but I know I need them. 80. Are you from the south? No, north? 81. What does your last status on facebook say? -”6 more weeks.. ⌚🙇🙏😓” but now I'm down to 5 🙌82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed? -Nope. 83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad? - tough question. I think it's equal.84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics? -gymnastics 85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters? -Wonder Woman😍 86. Do you smoke? -nope87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops? - flip flops. Fuck heels. 88. Is your phone touch screen? -who doesn't have a touch screen unless they're old or stuck with a old model until they get theirs fixed or replaced 89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly? -all natural. No heat has touched my hair in like 2 years now, not even a blow dryer. So very curly /kinky. But I normally wear my hair in braids so yea haha90. Have you ever snuck out of your house? -don't think so91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool? -Pool. But I like waves so lakes are cool too92. Have you ever made out in a car? -Nope93. …Had sex in a car? -only in my head if that counts lol ... I know it doesn't 😞94. Are you single or in a relationship? -single95. What were you doing last night at midnight? -Finishing reading this packet on why fluency in asl for a non-native signer is hard if not almost impossible. Which is like a huge fuck you to me wanting fluency. Apparently even after I graduate and become a certified interpreter in like 3 or 4 years I'm still gonna be not near as fluent compared to a native. I may appear so to others but in reality there's so much to this language other than knowing a bunch of signs. So much more. 96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks?-Last year maybe or two years ago on the 4th of July. 97. Do you like the camera on your phone? -Its iight. 98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits? -Can't say that I have sadly. 99. Have you ever passed out from drinking? -My sister made a blanket nest on her bedroom floor for me once and kind of just tossed me in and told me to sleep and I did ? I was very fucked. I didn’t stay sleep though, had to keep getting up to puke. lol100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate?-Not anymore, I think I got rid of everyone that annoyed me.

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abstracttravel · 7 years ago

Text

LOQUA - CIOUS

La Segunda Parte

James has the luxury of his own connecting flight. A bare foot straddles the wheedling away foam seat. Jangling keys penetrate instead of the emergency screwdriver. The no seatbelt sign lights up and a “merge” into the foot traffic. Slow going with floaties, cozies and backward flippers jostling for the wrong of way. Make the bend at Duke’s statue and back to side street shorts and dodging the hotel detritus. A spill in that swill of air conditioner runoff, greased out oven dregs, eclairs gone sour and most likely some semen is a faux pas to the Nth. Ugh.

James pops the kickstand, quickly imprinting the black tar, and steals a glance at the track team lapping on the stadium turf. The light will diffuse slowly this long summer evening, casting a hazy sombre over his military cornered sheets. The outer common area is jamming to Jamrock cuts and the Spliffs are sweating through the open doors. No time for that now, the daily party prepping and preening must commence post-haste.

The door was slightly ajar as always, no threat of the non existent Air Con seeping out. The sink sticky sweet with pineapple rinds and a small protectorate of ants from last night’s swarre. The typical random foreign pastiche of 7-11 wrappers of three less than hypoallergenic roomates, occupy the hinterlands of the formica. The sinkcastles of solo cups, dotted with watermelon seeds strew aside stockpiles of spent wasabi packets and chopstick splinters.

“Hey man do you have anything on Saturday?” bellows Dave from the foggy bathroom.

“Not too sure depends on the morals of Val’s friends haha.” James jests.

“He told me they have some Pika frat dude boyfriends back UCSD. Good luck with that!” Daves says.

“Yeah I’ll be with Nikki anyways so I haven’t told her about the these girls. Ha. Besides they are only here this weekend. Should be a hotel party then I’m thinking.” James suggests.

“I was thinking to go to Diamond Head in the day and get smokey, walk around and bullshit.” Dave hints.

“You remember that time we went to the waterfall with Kate, right? We smoked behind the waterfall and your dumbass wants to climb to the top! Look mannnn… There’s a path!” James recalls.

“That was Stockholm syndrome bro! You wanted to go too.” says Dave.

“How long was that hike? Maybe getting lost for 3 fucking hours. Grabbing roots in wet boardshorts.. Going practically vertical with no path, that was you itinerary” James says.

“Yeah but…..” drags Dave.

“So no, to joining your expedition.” James replies.

“Whatever, I’m taking my second nap…” trails off Dave as his dirty towel sundae sprinkled with backne jimmies disappears into the funk that is his den.

James lily puddles his way into his realm of borderline OCD. Throws the beyond the pale green Clive deck packin pack onto the doubled tucked sheets. He flickers the sticker cocooned LapBottom to submissive consciousness, the grogginess of 2 GB lists. The dregs of a Mickey’s Grenade tumult slightly as the BoySetsFire menaces. A quick cold douse in the hot water devoid petri dish, his salt and arenas ankles add more sand to the box. A dollar store PC speaker pixelates a tepid squawk through the limed fish curtain. Seth, the agoraphobic gamer and wisp chined squatter, has not left the nest for 3 days apparently. Why study in Hawaii when you could learn about stale kleenex sculpting stateside.

A few squeaks of the shower shoes come found loungewear and the bright vans Cholo button down is anchored in tight Element pants framing crisp unskated Es Blue Sal 23s. The smell of spaghetti pomodoro a la studienti poveri wafts from the neighbor’s cucina. Prefacing the dinner triangle there is usually some impromptu, 2 winded sheets foray into the dorm’s 10 communal iceboxes. Some quasi Italian or Mexican carb accompanies a yardsale of dogeared veggies and a non-spread-covering over/under of seasoning. The too many cooks but ample pot situation flies here as baking and pre-heating are pre-ordained. The vegetarian option usually turns out the be the former of bad and evil.

This sundown, the juvenile California pink backed hawks have returned to their falconry gloves with Mai Tais in their gullets and Jack in their maws. Drunk and lit as their Gaslight District street lamps, they are in various states of undress and redress as James peers through a shade on approach. There is some “Thong-g Thong-g Thong-g” from the warm beer coaster slash Ghetto Blaster on the red carpet. The song became some kinda of late-night jam of the Summer, tho ironic or just ass-shakin left to debate.

The girls were in bathing suits, bras, or in various stages of blowdry. Everyone was sunburned, spilling and succeeding at life.

Shila and Noelani are in the kitchen, both cooking, only one with the spliff.

“James what took you so long to get here? We need some more salsa from your house. We didn’t want to see your weird roommates hahaha.” Shila says as Noelani blows rings.

“Nah nothing just tired from the sun. We were there for like 4 hours and YOU can get the pasta. The creeper and the lurker are in their rooms.” James says.

“Hmm… Sara you go, we are busy. If we hear you scream we got your back!” Noelani laughs, exhales and coughs for the next 45 seconds.

“Ugh...only because you are too high to find it psssssh! Get lost in a cabinet haa.” Sara says.

“Where is Nikki? Megan did you see her in your place?” James asks.

“Yeah she was waiting for the shower, but you know Liz takes forrrrr ever in there.” She should be finished now tho?” Megan reports.

“She told me you lost at Vodka-Cran Pong last night so you both have to do the dishes. Good luck with those 40 plastic fluorescent shot glasses you stole from that Tiki Bar! Haha… We need immaculate” Winks James.

“Ok J, I’m more worried about these greasy-ass Enchilada pans. Damn…” Megan confesses.

Cologne starts to intermingle with Ancho Chilli dust, and it can only James best dude. Val pops his head in the door with those stupid Terminator-Style sunnies leading the way. He is wearing some pomegranate red and bleach white hibiscus Tommy Bahama reject.

“Jamessssssssss!!! Vatoooooo!!! Where you been bro.” Val So-Cal drawls.

“Just back from the beach with the girls. Came home and got spicy and breezy for a few. Hooked up that aloe.” James says.

“Yeah I was at econ class, hangover AF. Needed like 3 of those dollar Maki rolls just to get me straight.” quips Val.

James snickered. “Yea I was Bento boxing before the beach. That Giant Clam tho. Everyday I think I can do it, but nah… Ha!” replies James

“Gross. You always eat weird shit. Here man do you want a Corona.” Val offers.

“ You got lime? I want a Michelada” asks James.

“ Yeah we got that, but the muy picante hot sauce I brought from Cali is finished.So you got Food Lion.” grins Val.

“Weeeeeeeaaak… like that Hale crackerjack prize shirt. Psssssst!” James jibes.

“Man this is solid tiki barbeque quality shit. Some Kalua pig worthy wardrobe. Look at you with your sister’s tight jeans.” Val barbs.

“Whatever man… I’m not gonna know you at the club later. Wear those glasses too pimp.” James mocks.

“Shut up gringo haha. Take this beer before it is sweating. Make your own drink.” Val tosses the perspiring projectile across the counter.

“ Fine… so what’s the plan for tonight? You know what hotel the girls are staying at?” James asks.

“They are in some Ambassador place close to the beach. Told me it’s nice but not to nice to get thrown out of. Ha.. Remember, these are girls who do like 3 spring breaks a year!” Val replies.

“Yea you told me Haha. So we go to the hotel for some pregame and pick them up. After, come back here and get everybody rounded up?” James says.

“Def, let's check out Planet Hollywood later. They have specials for girl drinks. It will be funny or stupid haha, and then we can dance at Hard Rock after.” Val proposes.

“Ok that’s all good. We can taxi there, maybe 2 vans? When do we bike over to the hotel?” James asks.

“Yeah man they should be at the hotel around 8. But supplies are running low so we need to get some refrescas before then.”

“Oh…. are you using my best friend's sketchy-ass looking Fake ID? It’s not even the same skin shade as me bro! It’s his shitty fake, not even mine Ha!! Like paying $25 bucks for six degrees or something.” James jokes.

“You buy stuff for the girls everyday. The people believe it. Just don’t go to that old Kamehameha guy’s place again.” Val says.

“Yeah that knife collection is massive…. Ok, but only because my Hawaiian Princess is working the 7 now.” James winks.

“She has some Hale crush on you man. Na Sked Brudah! Just cause she is big and has that weird eye thing. Haaha!” Val mimes the looks to James.

“Yeah she is def a better choice than Nikki. I’ll write her a poem and tape it to some Spam Musubi Ha! Unrequited love, right?” James pumps a beating heart.

“Whatever, I don’t think you could even find a hotter girl than Nikki. Even if you had those Julio iglesias swag!” Val invokes his Padre’s favorito.

‘Ha yea man, it's probably true. I know you are thinking some hook up with her and your girl.” James smiles.

“It’s not my fault Megan that sees that in the shower everyday ha! She said it, not me.” Val grins.

“Stupido… Let’s walk to the 7-11 now. Get the money and what people want. Remember we gotta carry all of it back. F.” James grimaces.

Val is quick and convincing, as if he’s done this before… Every day since June. The girls seem to always have their stash, and most are already half cornichoned at this junction. They request the always seaworthy Captain. Guys tend toward Coronas, sometimes conjuring and confiscating all the limes in Food Lion… Thrice. Val visits Seattle Mark and his seemingly sister wives roomies, who always got the good green and that perpetually high phosphoric, panorama swiveled chameleon. All from the Emerald City, Mark moved with his waif girlfriend and her wife hermana to UH even though he didn’t pay tuition or have a bed there! They always were burning, baking and flush with kush. Conex, conex. They threw in for more cervezas.

James and Val took the short walk past the track stadium, where they could see the UH Rainbows finishing up suicides. That Seven was an almost omnipresent blessing always being within reach and selling spirits. The staff smelling of endo and those bleary eyes easy to miss the DOB. The Japanese heritage of Hawaii probably is the reason there are so many Sevens, but the Spam Musubi sushi, and the mashup Loco Moco bentos are def under the rising sun.

Alana is working so the acquisition of imbibables should be no prob. A little flirting from James and a little extra dinero is all. They crip walk trying to look hard and then bust up in laughter at the absurd entrance. The condensed freezers beget condensed crowned cervezas. A funk wafts metalic from the freon fumigation, but the beer is always ice. Schlitz cicled stalagmites protrude skyward, kinfolk with Boones Farm’s Northern lighted hues.

They deadlift two cubes and put them on the dirty sanded tiles. Val takes a quick stroll to the Spirits section, literally a Ruffles shelf repurposed. The cheap bum whiskies and vagrant brandies segregated on the lower rungs for inconspicuous consumption. The mid-management Finlandias, the Oldschlager and the firesale Firewater slunk and shimmer at eye level. The Captain, Malibu and the Crown Royale perch and parry for parity. Two handles are handled.

The Hales waltz towards the register, past the acrid frankfurters and hypnopompic slushy machines. The two Morgans are plonked down next to the hand saran wrapped Spam Musubi by Val. The kettlebells on the ceramic floor.

“Looking good tonight Alana, your hair is a lot longer now” Val says.

“Yes I haven’t cut it for a while. I’m trying to grow it longer. Thinking about dying it too,” Alana replies.

“I think you should do it lighter, and I don’t like short hair,” smiles James.

“Aww you would say that with your always white blond hair. How many boxes did you use this time haha,” laughs Alana.

“Only two, I just did the roots. It takes so long though, it always burns me,” James responds.

“Well then maybe I will make it lighter James, if you like it,” coos Alana.

“You know his girlfriend is going to Maui soon. James you should take her on a date. Go to the moto-sushi spot. Candles and Sake, right Alana,” Val suggests.

“James! We couuuld do that. I know how to keep a secret,” winks Alana.

“Ok yeah we can see, Ummm… I have some tests next week but I can give you my number.” James says.

“Awwww. Yay, here write down your number. I don’t work Monday and Thursday next week” giggles Alana.

“No worries, here. Just send me a text. We are having some party tonight, you can come to one. You are like our bootlegger anyways, hahah,” James smiles.

“ Ok, but you know I can get in a lot of trouble for you guys. The ID isn’t even you. Everyone here knows that….. But it’s ok, You are cute and this job is sooooo boring.” she sighs.

“Hahaha, that was James before the plastic surgery! I think he looks worse now,” Val interrupts.

“Whatever… You guys are sooooo funny, are you stoned now?” Alana squints.

“ Noooo…. But I know you are, or will be on your break! I see you eating all those twizzlers and Starburst wrappers sticking to your arms.” jokes Val.

“No I don’t, idiot! James, give me that dumb ID and get Val out of here. Stupid Hales.” says Alana.

“Look Val is high or something, forget it. I’m gonna bring you a present next time since you are so sweet.” James apologizes.

“Yeah he’s going to bring you a box of Starbursts! HAHAHA.” Val says as he grabs the cases and starts to leisurely bolt out the door.

“Here is the cash and a little extra for your smile. Text me. And i'll bring Sour Patch kids instead.” James says as he picks up Cap’n.

“Hahaha. I will! Be safe Mr. James.” Alana blows a kiss.

With two 24 count Mexican suitcases, and two handles of mustache growers they plod up the incline. The only caveat of the location is the scooter non gratis, anti two passenger, four carry-ons doesn’t land well. They laugh about the upcoming night, make plans for a day of tandem moto tourism and get winded thrice.

They arrive to the pumpkin rust glow of overhead moth raves, and a few cigarettes and Natty ice cubes melting around the table. Kobe, Sara’s Virginian main squeeze is laughing really quietly to himself. When he gazes up, his eyes implicate the culprit. Mark is at his side, checking us on approach. He has his signature T-shirt wrapped angels on horseback style, a Bedouin top-hat that has become the rage for the beach days and the wee hours. Scruffed up and dressed down, his cuts a figure that is Pac NoWest for days. His silhouette always shaded X Files style by the enveloping and ever evolving kush conduits.

Mark perks up hazily glimpsing the MRE’s tucked under fatigued wings. Kobe just laugh-coughs a “Vaaa...llllll….llll…..l”

“Ahh Dopeman! We are gonna have some good times tonight! Glad to see you got the supplies” Mark rasps.

“Oh man, pass me one of those! I can’t ‘cough’ sto ‘cough’ p choking from this new bud.” laments Kobe.

“Damn Mark, you got some good shit? A good hook-up this time?” Vals asks.

“Yea man, Kobe’s boy came through. Was a little short, but dude this shit is horseshoes and clovers good! Hahah,” Mark says.

“Yea man let me try that blunt, then. Don’t be a shyster, parcero.” jokes Val as he reaches over the table.

“Thats cool dude. Kobe looks like he is lampin’ for the rest of the night haha…. So I think this is the plan. Val has some chicas flying in from home. They have a place close to the beach, maybe a pool? So we will go scoop them up, come back here for some preparedness. Then van to some spot. Maybe some club. But def trying for a pool party late night,” James proposes with a double thumbs up and a shrug.

Kobe’s roommate Mike, always self-confident and with a coozie, shimmies over from next door offering an outstretched low five.

“Ah dudes, you got the goods for sure! You gonna skinny dip later, like at the beach last week? Hahah,” Mark pokes.

“Whatever, man. I was drinking vodka crans with the girls, and my boardshorts fell off in the waves. I didn’t see anyone complaining…. Ok I wasn’t seeing much of anything that whole day. Hahah! Anyways, did you pitch in for beer this time?” James says straightforwardly.

“Yeah I always pay… Or give extra cash the next time.” defends Mike.

“Well you didn’t last time, or even last week, so just checking,” James replies.

“Hey man, what time do you want to go out later?” Asks Kobe.

“Maybe like 10-10:30. They have drink specials for girl at Hard Rock. One time, Megan gave me one of her free ones and the security grabbed that Rum and Coke right out of my hands. Like 15 seconds top haha!” Val laughs.

“Man you gotta just share it and she holds it! Amateur Hour over here,” James shakes his head.

“Yea mannnnn haha. I don’t know if I am mobile tonight, I don’t think I can get up for a while. I’m so faded…. Wake me up if I fall asleep out here,” Kobe says, remembering the time everyone went to the beach, locked the doors and woke him up at 4AM with a communal shot.

“Ok Val, let’s put this case in the freezer and bounce.” James says finishing his Corona.

“You want to hit this? Its reeeeally good,” Val giggles.

“Naw man, you know I don’t smoke and drive. I’m still feeling it from the beach, anyways. Haha… You don’t even know where this place is. We gotta check that tourist map,” James says.

“Yeah, you check it. My brain is taking a siesta right now…” Val squints and grins.

They pass out a few more brews, even to skint-ass Mike and grab the Malt icebergs and giant plastic squeezy handles.

The kitchen is much quieter than during the Iron -ic Chef competition, where seesaw dull knives were swinging between tomatoes for pico de gallo and a burros-worth of limes for dranks. Everyone was sasiating there salivary glands after the long day on sand. The usually crammed fridge was trolling for some Air BnB’s as most of the BBQ sauces, Texas Pete’s and the aloof ranch were postin for a fortnight. A figurative cornucopia of veggies was 1/2 chopped, 1/6 turned and ⅓ defrosted. That back of the fridge can be cooler than a polar bear’s toenail.

“Yayyyyy!” was enthusiastically shouted in stuffed face unison.

“Hey what took so long, guys?” Sara squeaked out, half a sloppy-joe looking burrito in her vice grip.

“You know James had to butter the cupcake. The juice is loose! Ahhaha I just thought of that. I need to write it down!” Val laughs in almost falsetto.

“Bitch, shut up! Yeah I was chatting with girl working at 7. She always hooks it up. So ask Val to go next time. Yep!” says James pointing at the cases.

“Hahaha yeah Valentino. You go!” Megan jokes at her now sheepish looking boyfriend.

“Ok here are the 2 Captains. Put this one case of beer in your room Megan. Val’s laaaaaadies… need some. Wink. Wink. Haha. We can put everything else in the fridge.” James says.

Shila busts out laughing and Carley starts to poke Megan in the side.

“Carly quit it!” Megan gasps, holding Carly’s wrists now.

“Val better be a good boy, right Val….. We have tickets to go to Maui, but I can just take Shy.” threatens Megan.

“I know these girls. They won’t be laying down anywhere. They drink Tequila like coffee. Haha. Don’t worry babe,” soothes Val.

“Ok player, get that case, and help me,” James asks.

The freezer was half full with about 9 gangrene, about to burst roadies. These already had their asses blown out, so they could only roll on the Formica. The Captain and a few new hires were granted Ice Bar VIP. The rest, cheese drawered.

“Hey where did these Budweisers come from?” says Val.

“Oh my God! We forgot to tell you!! Noelani saw those Chinese students outside with this case of beer. They were looking for you James!!” Sara blurts out.

“What?!? Those kids who stopped to watch me and Mark skateboard over that fucking exercise bike! No way!” James says in disbelief.

“Yeah they were looking for you to give you the beer, because they were happy to meet you and liked hanging out here.” Sara replies.

“Thats crazy! They watched us kickflip that old janky thing Mark found in one of the rooms. I said come party with us some night. They really bought this? Are you serious?” James asks wide eyed.

“Who knows? Maybe that's what they do in China? Hahah! Let’s go there Shy!!” Megan laughs.

“I think they really didn’t understand English! Only the two kids were talking and everybody else was giggling…… Wait! Are they coming back?!?” James asks excitedly.“ That would be amazing and so funny!! We can take them to the clubs!!” Val says.

“Wow! So fun… But we should not drink the Budweiser just in case. Only at the end if they don’t come.” states James.

Everyone starts laughing and speculating what they would do if they came. Plans and arrangements start to get absurd. There is a soft knock on the door. A faint whiff of CK One and super expensive conditioner waft into the salsa and cerveza clima. James’ smile and buzz percolate into a gum flashing smile. A “Hello Nicole.” wafts out before he starts to turns around.

She is a vision, part Yahweh’s angel and part Victoria’s angel. Straight blond locks, always a few flyaways, curtain calls her collar bone. Perfect GMO Cali whites. A smile as big as her heart. Refractive mute pink lip gloss that says I like what I like. A plunging neckline that repels to a taut tummy. Some tiny amputated dungarees that shape and lift things that don’t need it. She is that Cali girl with a brain and that laugh.

“Hey sweetie! I thought you went to pick up Val’s friends. I was a little jealous.” Nikki says feigning a pout.

“Noooo. I was waiting for you before, and we just went on a seven run…. Jealous about what?” James asks.

“Well Liz and I have the flight to Maui in a few hours, so you will be with these new girls the whole weekend.” Nikki frowns.

“Yeah we can’t go out with you the flight is at 10. So we are already packed.” Liz says.

Liz is about the totally atithetical model of Nik. Unruly brown curls act as a mane for soft Italianese features. Big brown eyes that only come up to Nik’s shoulders. Curvy and opinionated, she is the more rational and conservative or the pair. She also has a boyfriend back at Notre Dame, which does not preclude some topless wilding. 100% They will be on that flight, sauced or not. She starts asking Val about calling Taxis.

Nikki comes inside and kisses James and clasps her arms are his thin waist.

“Baby you know you don’t have to worry about me. I think I’ll never meet someone like you, like never ever.” quotes James as he gets those familiar butterfly feels.

“I trust you about girls, but I worry that you will get really wild. I know you want to show them a crazy party.” Nikki brow furrows.

“I know sometimes I get too excited and do crazy things. You are trying to help me and I really want to do it for both of us.” James confesses.

“Yes I know. You are like my kid. Haha. I have Megan watching you and Val. He makes you more wild.” Nikki squints. “Do not drive the scooter tonight… I mean it!”

“Well we have to pick those girls up now. I’m fine to drive. And anyways, we are taking a taxi babe. So really don’t worry. Just call me right when you land.” James asks.

“Ok. We are staying in a really nice hotel. I wish you were sleeping next to me not Liz.” Nikki pines.

“We will plan a trip here and we will ask Shy to borrow her car and camp on the beach for some days. Just us. No Liz. No Val.” James grins.

“Hahah you are joking, right. She will never. She already thinks we stole her car and had lots of sex in it.” says Nikki in disbelief.

“Oh man. Yeah they were mad for days… I shouldn’t have told them I took it to the beach not the store. With you. Hahaha.” James says.

“It was amazing with the full moon and no clothes! Don’t worry we will do something when I’m back Honey.” Nikki reminices.

“Ok baby, I think we have to go soon. I’ll be a gentleman. Promise! I’m going to miss you so much. Your cuddles.” says James with a puppy dog face.

“I was missing you in the shower. Mmmm. I know you will be good because of what I’m going to do when I’m back.” Nikki whisper in his ears. A little parting bite to remember her by.

“Exactly, I’ll be in the bed when you walk in…. With flower petals everywhere!” James promises.

They hug tight and kiss deep, until Val and Liz shouts “Soooooo gross! Get a room!”

Like that, they go their separate ways. Liz and Nikki to take their luggage and call a taxi. Val and James to grab their bike keys and jet. They rendezvous at James’ door and walk to the bikes.They are already late but firmly on Aloha Time, so no rush. They saddle up and walk the bikes back.

“Val are you ok to go? You smoked a lot of that kush. We should go slow.” James advises.

“Haha yea… That stuff was good. I think it will be like Playstation driving there haha. I‘m straight dude, but you def need to find the hotel. I’m just gonna follow you bro.” Val says lackadaisical.

The taillights fade.

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twerkhammett · 8 years ago

Note

ALL. OF. THEM.!

Ohh shit. Fine!!!

Going to make this a read more so I don’t annoy people.

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say?

Why are you still here? lol

2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?

We’re friends

3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care?

Hard drugs yeah

4. Is your last name longer than six letters?

Yes

5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober?

Drunkish

6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up?

No, they messed up

7. What does your last received text say?

I’m not tellin y’all that lmao

8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed?

No idea

9. Where was your last kiss at?

My room

10. When is the last time you saw your sister?

About a week ago when I was in Florida

11. What do you drink in the morning?

Water and coffee

12. Where did you sleep last night?

My bed

13. Do you think relationships are hard?

Yes

14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you?

Yeah, I would’ve finished those last two projects for school lol

15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?

Not really

16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?

Sunny

17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you?

Maria’s a pretty common middle name so yeah hahah

18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants?

Jeans, I need to change into some comfy pants tho

19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now?

No clue, either way idc

20. Does anyone like you?

Duh I’m cute lmao

21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S?

Yes, this girl I met in a bar last month ahah

22. Is the last person you kissed gay?

Nah

23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand?

Too many to name

24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo?

Yes, I’ll probably have one by the end of the year.

25. In the past week have you cried?

I don’t think so.

26. What breed was the last dog you saw?

A mutt haha

27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower?

In the shower so I don’t get the floor wet.

28. Have you ever kissed a football player?

29. Do you think you’re old?

Nope

30. Do you like text messaging?

Yeah

31. What type of day are you having?

Pretty decent, I’m sick but I ditched work and got pho and a smoothie.

32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?

Yeah, I think the lip piercings are enough for me tho.

33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather?

Warm

34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?

Quite a few

35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling?

As of right now just a fling, but a relationship down the road would be nice.

36. Are you a simple or complicated person?

Isn’t everyone complicated to some degree?

37. What song are you listening to?

Hvite Krists Død by Satyricon

38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it?

Yes39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you?

Several girls40. What made you start liking the person you like now?

I like a few people41. When did you last receive a text message?

Like ten mins ago42. What is wrong with you right now?

I’M SICK BRUH43. How well do you know the last female you texted?

Not super well, we work together.44. Does anyone disgust you?

Donald Trump, among many others.45. Would you date someone right now if they asked?

Depends on the person, but I think I need more time after my last relationship anyways.46. Are you in a good mood right now?

Decent, I’d be in a better mood if I could breathe.47. Who was the last person you talked to in person?

Cynthia, my roommate.48. What color shirt are you wearing?

Black as usual lol49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear?

Yup50. Anyone you’re giving up on?

Yes51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for?

No, I just hate the way he behaved towards the end.

52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t?

Probably53. Do you like rain?

I love the rain.54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks?

Nah, unless it’s always excessive. That would probably get old.55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?

So many times ahaha56. Do you like to cuddle?

YES57. Are you shy?

Not really, kinda introverted tho.58. Do you get along with girls?

Yes I love girls are you kidding??59. Have you dated the person you texted last?

Nope60. What do you carry with you at all times?

Keys, chapstick, wallet, phone, headphones61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you?

Hell yeah!!62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months?

Yes, I have lol.63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship?

No, but I was still trying to work things out for some stupid reason.64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute?

Sure65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week?

Yes I looked in the mirror ;D

66. How old are the last three people you kissed?

27, 30-something, and 29

67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself?

I don’t paint my nails.68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print?

Leopard69. Do you have any stickers on your car?

I don;t have a car :(70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne?

Who tf is Luke Bryan? Lil Wayne I guess.71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone?

iPhone cuz that’s what I have72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut?

Maybe a month or two ago?73. Do you like diet soda?

No, I don’t really like soda. If I want fizzy I’ll drink beer.74. What color are the walls in your room?

Black and gray bc I’m an emo little shit.75. Are you 16 or older?

Older76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars?

No77. Do you have a job?

Yes, I barista at Peet’s coffee. 78. What are your initials?

AMD79. Did you ever have braces?

Nope80. Are you from the south?

Yeah, Florida.

81. What does your last status on facebook say?

I shared a video about Chuck Berry if that counts.82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed?

Noooooooooope83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad?

My dad84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics?

Nah85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters?

I think Fantastic Beasts?86. Do you smoke?

Marihuana87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops?

Heels so I can be tall.88. Is your phone touch screen?

Yeah89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly?

It’s curly, I don;t straighten it anymore.90. Have you ever snuck out of your house?

Many times91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool?

Lake92. Have you ever made out in a car?

I think everyone has93. …Had sex in a car?

Yeahh94. Are you single or in a relationship?

Single af95. What were you doing last night at midnight?

Sleeping I think.96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks?

Last week bc fucking Florida.97. Do you like the camera on your phone?

Sure98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits?

Yes99. Have you ever passed out from drinking?

Yeah lol100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate?

No wtf101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare?

Yes, once.102. Name your favorite Kesha song:

??????103. Do you have any tan lines right now?

Not really104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts?

I know I’m from Florida, but no!!

Thanks I guess ahaha :)

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