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makeste · 6 years ago

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BnHA Chapter 193: The First

Previously on BnHA: Recovery Girl healed up Endeavor and he left the hospital with a shiny new scar. Hawks apologized for everything that happened and came up with some bullshit story about how they were probably spotted by villains earlier and made a tempting target and that’s why they were attacked. We also learned that he was more or less raised to become a hero from a young age and didn’t have much of a choice in the matter due to his talent. Endeavor headed on home where his kids were waiting to greet him. Although they were glad he was all right, Natsuo couldn’t hold back his anger toward Endeavor for tormenting Shouto and Rei for all those years, and for taking this long to finally get an attitude adjustment. Shouto acknowledged that Endeavor the hero was amazing, but he felt similarly to Natsuo as far as forgiving Endeavor the father. However, he said he was willing to wait and see, and that he knew better than anyone how “one small inspiration” could change a person. Endeavor thought about the epiphany he’d recently had that his children were the most important thing and that as a hero it was his duty to protect them. He also realized it was too late to apologize for all of his wrongdoings, and that the only thing he can do now is to move forward. That evening, Deku fell asleep after a long day of training, and dreamed of the past wielders of One for All, including the very first, All for One’s younger brother.

Today on BnHA: Deku finds himself in the midst of a wildly trippy dream sequence. First he sees the eight other wielders of OFA, and then his attention is drawn towards a flashback conversation between AFO and OFA the First. The First accuses AFO of using his quirk to fulfill his own selfish desires. AFO maintains he is using it for the good of the people. He demonstrates this by taking a mutation quirk from a man who wants to be rid of it, and bestowing a quirk upon a quirkless man who wanted a power of his own for self defense. The two men appear grateful, but the First says that AFO is really just creating an army of loyal servants to do his bidding. AFO says he intends to restore order to the world, and goes on to imprison his brother while he creates his army. Some time later he visits his younger brother and brags about how his dreams are becoming a reality, “just like in that comic we read together way back when.” The First says that AFO never finished the comic, and at the end of the story the Demon King lost to the Hero of Justice. AFO is all “well whatever IT’S NOT LIKE THIS IS A MANGA OR SOMETHING,” and then forces a quirk on OFA in order to entice him to join him. The scene fades, and Deku finds himself speaking with the First directly. He mentions something about them having passed “the point of singularity”, and tells Deku that he is not alone. Deku wakes up and finds that he’s somehow activated his quirk in his sleep and destroyed his room. He stares at his hand in shock and the chapter ends.

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my mostly unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’ve read up through chapter 213 now, so any ETAs will reflect that. If you haven’t read that chapter, don’t read this recap! Don’t be like me and think “eh I’m probably good, I bet I know most of the big stuff by now” and get cocky and then live to regret it sob.)

so just a quick thing here -- I have unfortunately been spoiled for something big related to Deku, which is that he is going to be getting additional quirks. six, to be precise. and that’s all the details I saw before I clicked away (much too late), but unfortunately it was enough to put everything else together. because he is the ninth owner of OFA, and the second quirkless wielder, and the original dude’s quirk was OFA. but the other six wielders presumably had their own quirks, and so in hindsight it makes perfect sense that he would inherit not just their strength, but all of their abilities. and since it had been hinted at that there would be more OFA stuff coming up around this point in the manga, and also that Deku would be getting some sort of huge power-up, it wasn’t hard to put two and two together here. so yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s what all of this is eventually building up to

but oddly enough, that’s not even in my top 5 list of things that I’m actually excited for here! I don’t even care about him getting their abilities tbh, but I’m just curious whether he’ll be able to talk to them and have access to their memories! and for the first time it appears that yes, he will! which makes me so fucking excited you guys, because I have at least two of three fanfic ideas that have been permeating in my head for quite a while now which are very reliant on this concept. so I’m so fucking glad this panned out omfg

AND I WANT HIM TO MEET NANA OH MY GOD

ANYWAY!! LET’S START THIS THING ALREADY

so it appears that that fog or whatever that’s surrounding Deku is actually him not having a full body in this state, whatever he is. because his mouth is missing, he isn’t able to speak. but he can watch, and he can move his right hand

that’s so fucking clever and I love that eventually this ability will grow stronger and presumably he’ll be able to interact with the others and maybe even train with them??

right now he can’t move since he doesn’t have legs though

and there are still two figures that are complete mist and he can only see their silhouettes thus far

kind of weird that these guys are out of order, no? because All Might is all the way back there for some reason. and I assume his form is less distinct than the others because he’s still alive? maybe? though that doesn’t make a lot of sense but idk, it’s a cartoon, people

also there’s a disappointing lack of female representation here, but unfortunately that seems to be par for the course recently. poor Shimura having to rep an entire gender because the mangaka decided that just six or seven dudes wasn’t enough. nope, better make it eight!

though I suppose the somewhat androgynous Shouto-looking one in the trench coat could be female, possibly. that would be pretty awesome. or one of the two shadows, though based on the silhouettes I’d say that’s less likely

(ETA: although the second-from-the-left one, though... I’d say there’s a shot. fingers crossed!)

and lastly, the missing one is clearly the original, who’s fighting AFO in your dream sequence as we speak! pay attention, Deku!!

oh shit you guys I’m so fucking hypppppped. more AFO stuff!!!

and even though Deku has never seen his face, he recognizes his voice instantly and is thinking that he’ll never forget it

and so he’s finally realizing that the person AFO is talking to must be his brother, the First

why is the First such a hot mess. look at that scraggly looking hair and outfit. looks like he just rolled out of bed

why would they be aware of your presence if it’s a flashback dream. have you never read a fucking manga before Deku

oh shit AFO is beckoning to some dudes and they’re appearing out of the flashback mist

and you, being the kind soul you are, are going to “help” them both I suppose

also interesting that quirks were not called “quirks” at this point, but superpowers! taking more notes for that fic I mentioned!

First is running toward his big bro begging him not to do it and saying that once he does there’ll be no turning back

but he’s collapsing in a coughing fit oh shit

OH MY GOD ARE WE ACTUALLY GOING TO SEE IT??? I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS HOLY SHIT

DUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE

so his quirk is gone! is he happy though?

and meanwhile the other guy has the defense he wanted so badly

so far nothing about this seems that evil, but I’m sure the other shoe is going to drop any minute now

well he is implying that they both owe him a favor now, for starters

and we know he’s going to go on to be the future kingpin of the underworld, so him acting all Godfather here is definitely on point

and they’re saying of course, and that they’ll never forget what he’s done for them

sophistry is a super fancy word for a fallacious, intentionally deceiving argument, FYI. jesus Mangastream, put that fucking thesaurus away for a bit will ya. or am I the only plebe here who had to double check what that meant and everyone else already knew and is cool with it lol

AFO is acknowledging that he needs people who owe him a debt so he can know they’ll come through when he needs them

building up that loyal army of followers huh

but he says that by trying to deny him, First is also denying them of their happiness

but will they still be happy by the time you’re through with them? that remains to be seen

already one hell of a god complex building up here

First says he’s just taking advantage of people’s vulnerabilities and using them and throwing them away after

yeah I’m inclined to agree with him lol. AFO your MO has been made abundantly clear already

what is this?!

oh shit!

-- IS THIS KUROGIRI!?!?!??!??!

lol that’s crazy right. that’s a crazy thought. but idk I’m still convinced that AFO and Kurogiri are very old friends, so it would not surprise me at all to see him running around in this timeline already. hell, he doesn’t even need to have the same quirk at this point; the warp quirk could just as easily be something that was given to him by AFO

(ETA: this is an absurd theory that I’m gonna continue to push until the end of my days you guys.)

so as Deku continues to watch, AFO is loftily monologuing about how his poor pathetic brother was born without a superpower

“without power, one cannot even assert their ideals”

but he says that even so, he still loves him. “you’re my only family after all”

oh shit is this when he makes the mistake of giving him OFA??

but the black fog is getting much more prominent all of a sudden? like, I don’t think we’re going to get to see this flashback play out in full

I swear to god, if Deku wakes up and it turns out someone is shaking him awake or something I’m gonna be so pissed at that person lol

oh shit nope, never mind, we’re just getting a scene change! EVEN BETTER OMG

YOU GUYS

seriously you don’t understand, I have this plot bunny in my head that involves time travel and is tentatively set during the early days of quirks, and it also involves the past users of OFA and the concept of them passing on their memories as well as their power

so basically what I’m saying is this whole chapter thus far has been an absolute goldmine

does Deku even realize what he’s seeing here, though? whose narration is this

(ETA: I think that’s actually a paraphrase of something All Might said back in chapter 59, so we’re probably just being reminded of it.)

you guysssss AFO’s origin story is so fucking metal oh my god I love it. I love this so much

YESSSSSSSS

YESSSSS LOOK AT THIS MAGNETO BULLSHIT. LOOK AT HIM WITH HIS FUCKING ARMY HOLY SHIT

and now we’re transitioning again, this time to a dark cell

jesus christ AFO

that’s your own fucking brother for christ’s sake?? what the hell do you have him locked up in, a bank vault? are you that concerned about his sickly ass somehow getting out? for fuck’s sake there’s not even a bed in here

First says he refuses to be manipulated by AFO, and AFO says it’s about time he gave up already

oh my god!!!

OH MY FUCKING GOD THERE WAS A FUCKING RESISTANCE MOVEMENT YESSSSSSS

this is another thing I needed for my fic, fuck yes!? this worldbuilding is giving me life right now

(ETA: not that anyone cares, but despite my not shutting up about it, this isn’t something I’ll probably be writing any time soon. more likely I’ll spend the next five years or so outlining every last detail in my head, and then finally get inspired to write it only to flake out before the very last chapter hahaha sob. but it sure is fun to construct imaginary WIPs in your head though.)

so I’ll just assume that even though he thinks they were all killed, some of them survived! and continued the fight!

anyways

so AFO says he didn’t actually give the order to kill those people, and that his “friends” and followers simply did it on his behalf and made his desire to bring order into a reality

and he says he was happy beyond words. “I simply think it, and everyone takes action on my behalf”

so much fun being the god of your own world huh

HOLY SHIT

WHAT THE FUCK AFO, WHY THE FUCK ARE YOUR EYES SO FUCKING CREEPY

oh my god I for real shuddered

(ETA: and I was so creeped out by his eyes that I didn’t notice this my first time around, but underneath his nose there... are those freckles?!)

but First, nerd that he is, says AFO only read up to volume 3, and that the story continued and eventually the hero won and defeated the demon king

I like how Horikoshi clearly drew these in the style of the old timey American comics of the gold and silver ages

OH SHIT!!

SFLHKSDLKF HERE IT IS!!!

DEKU’S REACHING OUT, BUT OF COURSE YOU CAN’T STOP IT, DEKU! AND EVEN IF YOU COULD, YOU’D UNDO THE ONE GOOD THING AFO EVER DID LOL

YESSSSSS OH MY GOD I’M SO HYPED TO FINALLY SEE THIS MOMENT OH MY GOD

(ETA: there really is something fascinating about watching the moment when someone seals their own doom and doesn’t even know it. if only AFO had gotten himself an irony-understanding quirk.

also, this answers the question All Might raised in chapter 59 about whether or not AFO gave his brother the quirk out of pity/affection, or whether it was to control him. seems like it was mostly the latter, but seeing as he could have killed him but chose to keep him alive all this time instead, maybe there’s a little of the former there too. like, he wanted him to submit to him, but the reason he wanted it so badly was probably because some part of him wanted his little bro fighting by his side. that’s why he spent so long trying to convince him of his own free will before he finally went with this option instead. but little did he know...

also also! that just goes to show you how much OFA has leveled up over time, because this quirk was originally so weak that AFO picked it specifically because it was something that his “frail and starving” little brother would be able to handle. and look at it now. quirks. are. fucking. wild.)

and now the scene is fading!

AHHHH!LHLKlksdhflahks

YES!! HE IS!! WHO’S TALKING!??

OH SNAP

YOU KNOW, LIKE A LIAR

HOLY SHIT IT’S THE FIRST WHO’S TALKING!!

YOU GUYS THE HYPE IS TOO MUCH I’M FUCKING LOSING IT HERE OH MY GODDDDDDD

“BUT YOU CAN ONLY MANAGE ABOUT 20%” HOLY SHIT DEKU FUCKING HURRY UP AND MASTER THE REST OF IT ALREADY AHHHHH

so the memories are the same as the powers and will come to him little by little? but why lol. with the powers I can understand, because his body can’t physically handle the strain

...well actually, thinking of it like that, maybe his mind can’t handle the strain of all this info dumping yet either, though

and the hands touching omgggg. the connection! the bond that they now share despite being separated by time. the same shared fate oh my god

there is so much more to this than All Might ever let on. he barely even scratched the surface. did he think about all of this before he made the decision to give this power to a 14-year-old? this is so much, though. holy shiiiit

(ETA: so a couple more things to add here! first, we now know that All Might apparently didn’t know shit about most of this, so he gets a pass for the most part. and that’s a relief, because there’s a limit to how irresponsible I can accept him being lol. at some point it becomes less of a gift and more of a burden. but he had no idea of the extent to which this would happen, because his own OFA experience was very different.

and second, I totally missed this the first time around, but “the point of singularity” which First refers to is something that was brought up by Seiji in chapter 166. basically it’s the whole “eventually quirks will evolve to the point where no one can fucking control them and it’ll be chaos” thing. I didn’t realize this would become an actual plot thing so soon, but this is something that’s come up again in the chapters I just got up to, and now I can kind of see what they meant. best of luck with that Deku.)

HYPE AND FUCKING FEELS, COME ON THOUGH??

oh sweet moses

this chapter is blessed

so now he’s charging in to Deku’s room and asking why he’s making so much noise

WHAT’S GOING ON WHY IS HE HAVING THIS REACTION

OH SHIT

holy fuck

is it weird my first thought was that I bet this exact same thing has happened to Katsuki in the past. accidental activation of your quirk in your sleep, destroying all of your precious All Might merch in the process

and is his hand all right!? his hand was the only thing he could move in the dream so I’m worried the power was concentrated there, and that’s his fucked up hand and he’s not supposed to use it oh man

what is this

lol well actually I probably know the answer to that already huh

oh man. ohhh hhhhhhhh man

that was so intense. easily one of my favorite chapters ever. I said “oh my god” and “oh shit” so many fucking times lmao. that was fucking intense! it’s late and I have to get up early tomorrow but I’m gonna read the next one anyway because I need to see what kind of a conversation he has with All Might after this lol, and ALSO! TELL KATSUKI, YOU COWARD

(ETA: THEY DIDN’T but it’s okay because Kacchan realized something was up and took matters into his own hands! KEEP KACCHAN IN THE LOOP 2K19 IS ALIVE AND WELL.)

by the way, I haven’t done omakes for the last few chapters, but we actually crossed over into volume 21 back in chapter 189, so at some point I’ll have to go and find what I can from that volume and edit it into one of the upcoming recaps. this volume has way more bonus content than the last one, thanks to the presence of the Todoroki children as well as all of the class B kids finally making their appearance after all this time lol. so that should be fun to find out more about them.

#bnha #boku no hero academia #midoriya izuku #all for one #one for all primo #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #makeste reads bnha #I need to come up with a better nickname for afo's brother #'the first ofa wielder' doesn't really cut it #too long and boring #and roman numerals don't get interesting until you get to at least II or III #I have been calling him 'ofa primo' in my head off and on because I'm still ride or die for khr even now #but I'm not quite satisfied with that either #I have to give this some more thought #ofa the first

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spanimator · 6 years ago

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What's your opinion on Mitch's death? Do you think it was deserved? I personally never saw that much of an issue with it, the character never got any kind of development that didn't go nowhere, it shows that since they started writing the episode Mitch was meant to die, as much as I love Mitch, I don't feel like it's fair to get mad at Telltale for his death, they never really "promised" much more than that for Mitch. Now if Mitch was set-up to be a lot more important, I would be mad too.

I’m fine with the fact he dies in episode 2 ‘protecting Tenn’ at the hands of Lilly but I have issues with how it was executed! (sorry this is long im mad)

First off, I just wanna say I REALLY like Mitch! He can be a dick sometimes but I like the little development he gets in ep 2 where he ends up forgiving Clementine and they even start becoming friends which is sweet.He also has some pretty entertaining lines, I found it insane how he kept making remarks about AJ shooting people, like the dude has no chill!! “I wouldn’t stand in front of him like that, sometimes he shoots.” or “I trust you to put a bullet in the back of my head!” MITCH!!! He’s just really entertaining and funny tbh intentionally or not. I love his obsession with knives and bombs, his voice and his personality. He’s an okay dude he just has a temper I mean I get it, he’s a teenager. I really enjoyed him in ep 2, he really shined! If I would of changed anything, I would of definitely given him more screen time in ep 1. He barely speaks which is too bad because he’s pretty important in ep 2. Its just weird because his character just becomes important out of no where!

Now when it comes to his death, I just found it pretty stupid honestly. I know its part of his character that he can act without properly thinking and be reckless but honestly, running at Lilly yelling at the top of your lungs like a fucking idiot is just ooc to me? I don’t think Mitch would be foolish to the point of doing something like that.

So in my opinion what could of been done instead is after the explosion, I would of had Lilly land A LOT closer to Tenn because from the footage I saw, ??? Tenn was not even close in reach with Lilly which is why it makes the death even dumber because it makes it look like Mitch is running to attack Lilly for no real reason. Then, I would of had Lilly actively try grabbing/capturing Tenn to put him in the cart and in the process, Mitch would attack Lilly WITHOUT YELLING and then a fight would take place between them instead of Mitch just dying instantly which was really lame. Violet mentions Mitch is good in a fight so why not show us that?

According to writers, Mitch’s death is supposed to show us that 1. Shit gets real and the raiders aren’t fucking around and 2. Showing us that Tenn tends to mess up and get people into trouble and show us he did in fact indirectly cause Mitch’s death (for future mentions in ep 3 and 4). BUT IT FAILS. When Lilly killed Mitch it was accidental, not intentional! And it was Mitch’s own choice to attack Lilly, Tenn was not directly threatened by Lilly so its not really his fault for getting Mitch killed lol.

But as Mitch and Lilly throw some punches, Mitch attempts to stab her to show us that he is being threatening. Tenn would then manage to run away back to safety but during the fight Mitch gets distracted by Tenn yelling that another raider is approaching him, getting him stabbed by Lilly in the moment intentionally. THEN Lilly would be like, “KILL WHO YOU HAVE TO, TAKE THE REST!” This would show Tenn truly indirectly got Mitch killed and that the Delta are not to be fucked with. Obviously the ideas here are not perfect but you get my point! The 2 points I made should of been more obvious in the scene.

I agree that Mitch’s death is important to the plot and to other characters’ development like Willy. I just wish it could of been executed better When AJ says “Tenn was messing up again like he did when he got Mitch killed!” (in ep.4), to the players’ perspective, this could of been seen as a one time thing because it was never mentioned prior that Tenn messes up a lot. (its only revealed in the route where you save Violet at the end so?? its just confusing) also uh.. at least a shot of Mitch’s grave would of been nice. Its in the files…

Obviously you could of done something more with Mitch living past ep2, I’ve seen a lot of cool head canons and aus where he lives or gets captured and they’re all real neat! And seeing Mitch and Clem become the ultimate brotp would of been awesome. But at the end of the day I understand why Mitch was killed off and look, at least it wasn’t for no reason at all! Mitch was killed off for a reason, it just needed to be executed better. That’s what I think!

-Rest in Peace i’ll miss you big knife boy

#long post #the walking dead game #twdg mitch #ask #twdg

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hawkinspostbite · 6 years ago

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𝐵𝑒𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝐵𝒾𝓁𝓁𝓎’𝓈 𝒴𝑜𝓊𝓃𝑔𝑒𝓇 𝒮𝒾𝓈𝓉𝑒𝓇

So please tell me how often we see PLATONIC Billy Hargrove things? Not very often :) so here you go !!!

PS: Billy Hargrove is a SHIT person and I’m not gonna ignore that, but sometimes there’s parts of people we don’t see. So I didn’t erase his shitty parts, I just added some better ones. :)

MASTERLIST

A/N: I do not claim to, nor do I own Stranger Things; the concept, characters, plot, etc.

- ok let me just start off by saying you two would FUCK SHIT UPPPP at Hawkins

- Anyway let’s start from the beginning Billy was born before you so he had a whole year to himself to soak up being an only child but when you came along he HATED you

- So about the first three years of your life he hated you

- Until you started to actually walk and talk and then you two were inseparable

- When you guys were in middle school he gained his rep as the resident badass and you were right there beside him

- “Oh there go the Hargrove kids” literally Raising HELL in Cali

- It was around that same time when things started to fall apart with your parents

- Your dad never really came after you but you didn’t know it was because Billy would purposely take the fall for you

- You stayed out too late at a party? Billy said it was his fault

- You snuck out to fool around with a boy? Billy took the blame

- In high school you became a little more tame, ya know actually caring about school and stuff

- But ofc you still went wild on weekends

- Finally your parents split for good and within like six months you had a new stepmom and stepsister

- And tbh you didn’t hate having Maxine around (although you could do without her mom)

- But just like Billy you still acted like a little shit to her, but you’d never scream and belittle her just like agitating and being rude sometimes

- You threw a royal temper tantrum when your dad announced you were moving to Indiana

- “What do they even have there? COWS?”

- That was the first time your father ever scared you

- Conveniently Billy was out and it just got bad, you were screaming and Neil was screaming and the second his hand came down onto your face you immediately shut up

- You didn’t speak to your father for days

- When you finally moved to Hawkins you didn’t hate it

- Sure you missed it being warm and sunny, and your first worry was losing your tan you worked so hard for

- You tried your hardest to make Hawkins seem like home, which meant spending as little time at home as possible

- Somehow within like the first week you two had already had reputations

- You didn’t have your own car so you were always riding with Billy and taking max places didn’t bother you

- You went to parties pretty much every weekend, and you made your way around with boys (just like your big bro)

- And you two were soon raising hell in Hawkins

- Now it comes to the Halloween party

- You and Billy had always been competitive which means that ofc you had to challenge him on the keg that night

- You did not beat him but you sure did try

- You got worried when him and his friends went up to Steve and Nancy because you didn’t care that your brother was a complete drunken mess as long as he didn’t kill anybody in the process

- So you were quick to break that up

- And so began your frenemy-ship (?) with Nancy

- You didn’t hate her but you also didn’t like her so

- After a month or so you’d become used to Hawkins, it was nothing like Cali but you managed

- But you hadn’t really noticed that Billy had become progressively worse than normal until that one day he grabbed max

- And so you two had your first real real fight in sixteen years

- “Billy what the hell is wrong with you? Neil will literally kill you if he finds out you touched max? Do you even have a brain? Or has it completely left your head since we got here?”

- “Ah What the hell do you care? All you’ve been focused on is school and whatever dick you’ve been sucking”

- Then you two started screaming at each other just delivering low blow after low blow and then you just couldn’t take it anymore

- So you got out of the car, and just walked home

- You didn’t speak to Billy for days

- Then there was that day you saw max sneaking out and usually you would’ve snitched to Billy but instead you jumped out your window “Hey! Wherever you’re going I’m coming too” Lucas’ jaw dropped bc he didn’t put two and two together (he always thought you were Billy gf, gross)

- So you followed them to the junkyard where you met Steve once again and a cool kid named Dustin

- And somehow you ended up barricading yourself inside a bus and you received the entire story of like the whole past year with the upside down and eleven and the demogorgon within two minutes

- So then you heard really loud roars and gurgling sounds and Steve decided to outside of the bus which was dumb but what was even dumber was the fact that you followed him

- You went HAM on those demo-dogs and saved Steve’s life like 15 times

- After that was over you went to the byers’ house where you met mike (who was pretty cool), will (although he was possessed...), Joyce who was lovely, Jonathan didn’t talk much, Hopper was awesome, and Nancy was there, and then el who was pretty badass for a kid

- Then it came to the infamous fight

- You heard the camaro from like a mile away and instantly went into fight mode

- “Stay away from the window guys” you stood right inside the door, watching through the little peephole as Steve was pushed to the ground. great

- Billy burst through the door “shit y/n I didn’t expect you to be here, with Harrington” he was actually surprised

- You put your hand on his chest as his eyes locked on max and the other kids “ok Billy I know you’re pissed but let’s not get out of hand here” and he shoved you out of the way and you were in shock

- Billy had never, N E V E R laid a hand on you and you were not having that so you stood up and while he was on the ground from Lucas you pushed the kids behind you and just cracked him right on the face

- “You PROMISED me that you would never turn into dad! You fucking pushed me Billy! Who the hell are you? Where is my brother ?!”

- But he just glared at you with pure evil in his eyes and shoved you out of the way, you stumbled, which led you to fall, smacking your head against the counter on the way down and then you were out cold

- When you woke up you had no clue where you were

- Turns out you were in Billy’s car, sitting practically on top of mike

- Steve was freaking the hell out and Dustin was yelling at him, Lucas was yelling at max who was driving ?! Holy shit

- “Somebody please tell me what the H E LLLLLL is going on?!” You screamed but before you could get an answer the car stopped

- at the tunnels max quickly explained how she stabbed Billy with a needle and while he was your brother you were never prouder of Max than that moment

- And you guys torched the tunnels, and el closed the gate and Will became un-infected

- You and max and Billy never mentioned that night

- After that tho you became so close with max it was awesome and you spent a lot of time with the other kids too it was pretty fun

- You didn’t make the first move to make up with Billy surprisingly it was him

- He came into your room one day when you were doing some work “what do you want?”

- “I wanna apologize. For pushing you around that night. I didn’t mean to break that promise but I was just so pissed and you know dad and-“

- “Ya know what bill it’s fine. Just don’t worry about it. “

- He didn’t believe you at first but then you didn’t say anything and he knew that you really meant it

- So it was basically back to normal after that

- You and Billy got messed up at parties on weekends, didn’t take any shit from anyone, and during the week you went to school and hung out with max and her friends

- For the first time in your life you were actually happy

BONUS

- Sitting in one of your rooms and sharing a blunt (shhhh we all know Billy blazed it on the reg)

- Laying on the floor of your room and just listening to music together

- Party pregames we’re always lit

- “Two shots for me, two shots for you”

- “Ok bill you’re not driving then we’ll have to walk”

- “I’m not fucking walking to a party y/n so let’s just hope we don’t die”

- if there wasn’t a party you two would go get ice cream and drive to a random spot and just sit quietly

- You’d always patch him up after fights with your dad

- Helping each other sneak out

- Rolling up to parties together

- Billy can be the best brother or the worst it’s really your choice

#stranger things headcanons #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things imagine #stranger things #billy hargove x reader #billy hargrove #billy hargrove headcanons

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clarespace · 6 years ago

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oh god, i just saw the official mv and my heart is screaming. it’s also 2am and im gonna gush about pete and ae with quick and dirty gifs, so watch out:

ugh, i love these scenes so much. wait, i love every scene, but these first ones are so important. ae is presented as the typical confused guy but get this, he’s so soft and expressive with his feelings, and he’s. not. ashamed. of. it. quite a contrast with pete, whose been internalising his shame. the wonderful thing with ae is that he’s so honest and direct. he says what he feels and thinks. more importantly, his actions coincide with what he says. often, that just doesnt happen in bl stories. the guy feels something for another guy? he goes out with girls and avoids the guy, etc. not ae. the boy just dives right in after a few moments of self-reflection. what an awesome dude.

and pete. our sweet, shy pete is saying, while looking into ae’s eyes, that he’s liked ae from the beginning. how cute is that? but more than cute, there’s the impression that he’s reached the point where he feels really safe and secure with ae that he can openly say this. wasnt it only a few episodes ago where he was still worried about bothering ae, and ae has done so many things to affirm pete’s trust in him that they’ve reached this point. which episode this will be, who knows, but they get here, hopefully with as little fuss as possible.

look. at. THAT. that’s one of the cutest things i’ve ever seen and it just screams ‘couple in love’. i gotta say, the body direction in this drama has been SPOT ON by the director and the actors. they’re horribly in love and it should SHOW. they should have their own couple language, their sweet gestures. see how tender ae is, and how content pete looks, especially with the way he closes his eyes when he finally rests his head on ae’s shoulder. just...the way their bodies are positioned is so so so good. boys sit like that! and the way they are subtly turned towards each other shows openness and interest...hear me heave my biggest, happiest sigh.

idk what happens in this moment except i want more of it. study date? sleep over? moving in together?? okay, the last one is too soon but i have a weakness when my otp spend time sleeping with each other and doing their nightly routines and just living life in love. also, ae, dont be extra. pete is really cute when he’s asleep but that’s no reason to look at him as if he’s literally doing cartwheels and you’re so proud of him...ugh, fine, i take it back. look at him with love ALL THE TIME.

ok it’s so hilarious to me that pete was smiling his dumb ‘ai ae’ smile and then the next frame he’s all serious as ae pushes him down slowly on the bed. also. fooling around in broad daylight? i approve because it’s so ridiculous when dramas only seem to portray that sex happens at night, in the dark. definitely not. also, they could just be cuddling here and i wont object to that either. ae just really dives into this whole thing, huh?

once again, no context except that ae is so happy and pleased to see pete. get you a man who looks at pete the way ae does. look at the fondness in those eyes. he’s so expressive, i love it. kudos to the actor for his portrayal! also, pete looks...hesitant? surprised? that ae is waving at him? and like he’s leaving in a hurry? hmmmm also i love a guy in a football kit so much

wow guys, just show off your love, huh? like i said, one of my favourite things is watching a couple actually be a couple. what they do, how they act, their own gestures, their rituals and it looks like ae and pete are the kind of ridiculously soft, touchy feely, sweet af couple who love to spend as much time as possible...and that happens to be my all time weakness, my ultimate goal. it’s like, pete is either making a joke or telling him something funny and ae gives that little huff and everything is smothering me with joy.

i am surprised, though, by the implication that they spend a lot of nights sleeping together. it’s something i dont come across often in asian dramas. western, yes, when they’re dating and spend days and nights in their own world, and this is what i see happening with ae and pete. it’s modern and new and accurate. or am i just surprised because in kdramas they dont even hold hands and they flinch whenever they look each other in the eye? maybe.

they’re so freaking DOMESTIC and i am so here for that shit. who sleeps on what side of the bed? who wakes up first? do they sleep all cuddled up?(remembering ae sleeping on top of pete, that’s a big YES) who makes breakfast? who fixes the bed? I NEED TO KNOW

hands down my favourite moment. not only is it a great shot, it’s just so...normal. they’re just ordinary boys with an extraordinary love that they’re not afraid to show. look at that body language. the familiarity, the softness, the smoothness of the action. is this the end where they’ve fully accepted each other? told each other all of their stories? cleared away the misunderstandings and are now just basking in the joy of being together?

also, it’s quite telling that ae is being presented as the top. now, i do have my own preferences for top and bottom but i dont really care who does it, tbh, and it doesnt matter. you could have your own headcanons about it and that’s fine as long as you’re not being toxic. i’ve seen so many people refuse to read/watch something if this or that person is placed in a specific role. on that note, i like how they’re showing that the one who’s physically larger isn’t the top, as is the case most of the time. they’re going there.

there are a few more moments but now it’s 3:30am as i type this, my eyelids are getting heavy (even though my heart is still going kyaa kyaa) and im gonna end this with the two biggest things that the drama is going right with pete and ae:

1. you dont have to be a jerk and use tricks to make someone fall in love/pay attention to you.

2. being soft and in love is nothing to be ashamed of.

i hope that there wont be the usual misunderstandings with the girl, or unnecessary, or break ups. i’ve noticed some people say that pete and ae dont have a complex story and therefore their love isnt complex or strong, and i’d just like to correct that assumption. just because a love story isnt full of angst and bloodshed doesnt make it a lesser love, just like a love story full of hardship and pain makes it somehow more worthy. there is nothing romantic about pain or break ups or messy love triangles. yes, these things happen because the characters are idiots and make such choices that lead to these things, but ae and pete seem to make choices that are good and healthy for them and there is nothing wrong with that. there is nothing wrong with falling in love, getting that person, and living a happy life. it’s so rare to get this sweet, soft gem of a love story between two sweet, soft boys. let’s enjoy it and not wish them to break up or go through silly misunderstandings. if that happens, then it happens logically and not just to throw unnecessary angst in there.

happiness is not boring. we’ve (or at least, i have) been waiting for so long for a main couple who gets that smooth-sailing love while the secondary ones go through all the mess and have that role model of good, healthy relationships as the focus. again, not saying they should be in a perfect, conflict free relationship but the meddling third parties? the miscommunication? nothing in their personalities makes those things possible long-term, tbh. ae would just be blunt about it and tell the truth. pete would probably agonise a little bit and then ask. if you find dark, angsty love stories as your thing, good for you, but dont wish for that to happen just for the sake of it.

please let them be happy. look at these adorable children! they should only know happiness and cuddles and sweet kisses.

come talk to me about ae and pete! i am so down with talking about them!

(seeing as there are several volumes of the novel, it would seem that pete and ae do go through some stuff but they remain steadfast and true, as much as i can gather. just no avoidable bullshit, please.)

(also 4am. if you read all of this word regurgitation, thank you and im sorry lmao)

#love by chance the series #love by chance #ae/pete #pete/ae #they are the cutest #sweetness #most adorable couple #PLEASE PROTECT THEM #they are too precious for this world #dont fuck them up dont fuck them up

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metal-blake · 6 years ago

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So I’ve seen a couple of Smash character predictions/hopefuls today, and I decided you know what? I want to throw my hat in the ring. I’m keeping one rule with my picks though: they have to originate from a video game. No shonen characters. Also these are in no particular order so eh.

1. Hunter

Monster Hunter

Considering Rathalos is in the game and the 14 weapons that could be used for a move set, I would love to play as a Hunter in Smash Ultimate. Hell, each costume could also have different armor and weapons like the Inklings, that would be pretty cool.

2. Lindow Amamiya

GOD EATER (BURST, RESURRECTION) / GOD EATER 2 (RAGE BURST)

Considering Bandai Namco is helping with Smash, I would love to see a God Eater rep, and I think Lindow is the best choice. They could either make him purely Melee oriented with his God Eater design (which would have a fucking chainsaw sword that puts Omega Yato to shame) or they could go with his God Eater 2 design and let him also have ranged attacks (at the cost of chainsaw sword). On top of that devour could also be an interesting game mechanic, both in how burst would affect Lindow and how being devoured would affect the opponent. Alternatively I would also accept Alisa from 1 & 2 or Julien (or Gil) from 2.

3. Dante

Devil May Cry

I think this one kinda goes without saying. His game started the genre Bayonetta is a part of and he has great move set potential. Others have already said more and better things about what he could provide smash than I can articulate here.

4. EMIYA

Fate/Stay Night

Fate/Stay Night was a visual novel, and many consider vns to technically be video games, so fuck it. With his projection magecraft alongside Rho Aias, broken phantasms, the ability to overdrive his swords, and not to mention Unlimited Blade Works, he also has some great potential, on top of being a different sword fighter on account of not having one long sword, but two short swords. And while UBW may not be a quick enough Final Smash, broken phantasm: Caladbolg would be a pretty good one (aka the sword he shot that nuked Berserker in the UBW route).

5.Navarre

Fire Emblem Shadow Dragon

I know, I know, more Fire Emblokes, but similar to EMIYA he dual wields swords and could then be much different from the other Fire Emblem characters. Top that off with a more cynical and dark personality that the other Fire Emblem characters to set him apart tonally too and I think he could work well.

6. Cu Chulainn (Alter)

Fate/Grand Order

Another Fate character, but one I think would be cool. He’d probably be a heavy weight with some more speed than the others, but between Gae Bolg and having Curruid Coinchenn, he has some good moveset potential. Also tbh his Lancer form from Stay Night or Caster form from Grand Order could also work, but I feel Curruid Coinchenn would be an awesome final smash.

That’s about all I got for now, but I think all would be cool to get in DLC. Some are pipe dreams, sure, but they would be happy as can be to get any of these.

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platinumdragonchaos · 6 years ago

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LBJ goes to LA

Some people love the guy, some people hate him, some are kinda in between. All I know is that he’s gone and the Cavs won’t be contenders for many years now. They have no money for any moves because of everything they did the past few years to try and win and they have no picks for the same reason. But hell, all teams have to rebuild at some point.

It was worth it certainly, having lived in NE Ohio my whole life and watching sports teams disappoint year after year often makes me question why I watch sports in the first place. But LeBron is the whole reason I started enjoying basketball years ago and it was fun getting some other people into it also. I had a good time these past four years watching four straight Finals appearances and seeing such a great player be tested against one of the greatest teams of all time. I feel things were left undone from a fan’s standpoint, especially since getting swept in the finals this year was the worst blowout since they lost it all to the Spurs back in 2007.

Year one of ‘The Return’ was pretty great. Roster moves and additions made for one helluva team and they were fun AF to watch. I think Cleveland had a very strong chance in winning it all in 2015 if not for injuries. Hell, if Booby Gibson has been able to keep playing I’m almost sure the Cavs would have resigned him and you can’t tell me he wouldn’t have been a great addition to the team that year. Gibson and Irving were starting to mesh despite injuries and problems off-court. They managed to win 33 games in 2013, a huge improvement over the previous three seasons of 19, 21 and 24 wins. The team sucked without LBJ but they were getting better. When James returned I didn’t expect them to make it all the way to the Finals and even though they lost the finals in six games it cemented that James’ return was the best thing to happen to Cleveland basketball (and Cle sports in general) since LeBron was drafted. Dude tried to will the team to victory but losing two starters pretty much sealed the deal.

Then the year they won it all. The coach, Blatt getting fired midway through the season was crazy and I really didn’t think they would pull it off but it was a great season and finally being good at something was wonderful for the entire city. They had done it and LBJ was the hero Cleveland had hoped for. They also managed to be the first team in history to come back from a 3-1 deficit (beating the team with the most season wins in NBA history). True grit won those last three games and it was incredible. I figured it was over when they lost game four at home but after game six I could hardly believe they had tied the series. Could they possibly beat these guys on their own turf? I could go on and on about it but you get the idea. They did the unthinkable and Cleveland’s 50+ year championship drought was over. Also the Indians went to game 7 of the World Series and ALMOST won. So...friggin...close. It’ll be hard to top 2016 in Cleveland sports...perhaps for the rest of my life.

Last year they looked as if they had a chance of winning again. It was another great season and until the finals they only had one post season loss. Golden State adding Kevin Durant was huge and I’m pretty sure we got Bogut since he was the only person to stand a chance at guarding KD but that injury was prophetic AF. I still can’t believe he got sidelined after playing for less than a minute for the Cavs. Only winning one game that finals was such a disappointment but you could tell from the first game that they didn’t really have what it took to beat such a talented team two years in a row. If they were gonna win again it would have been in 2017 when the core of the team was still intact.

Then this year. Ugh, they looked like crap TBH...all the trades and other BS going on, defensive problems, bad coaching calls and especially Irving leaving...the list goes on and on. LBJ had his best year as a player ever, played in every single game, put up crazy numbers, etc. but no one else really stood out this year. Still not 100% sure what happened with Isaiah Thomas after all the hullaballo about him coming to the team even though he was injured and then playing like crap but there were so many roster moves I forgot that Derrick Rose and Dwayne Wade were on the team at the beginning of the season. For many reasons they just were NOT the same team anymore, not even close. Losing Irving was the beginning of the end because they could never find a true replacement for him.

Getting swept in the finals last month still stings (especially that game one loss that they should have won...ugh, don’t even get me started) but they were lucky to get there at all considering. Two 4-3 series in the post season they scraped by and then facing a Warriors team that was ready to beat some ass, which we were not. It was like year one all over again except instead of injuries we just didn’t have enough. It was not the ending I wanted - to see one of my favorite sports players of all time go out that way, leaving the arena for the last time in wine and gold.

So there you have the last four years of Cavs Bball in a nutshell. They had a real shot at having three championships instead of one but one is what we got and that will have to be enough.

Basketball is what has gotten me through these past several Winters. Let’s face it, when it’s cold outside there isn’t a whole lot to do and I really hate being stuck indoors for months at a time. I go stir crazy before New Years rolls around and anymore it’s late April or May before the weather is consistently decent enough to enjoy. It’s only July but time flies by and it’ll be getting cold out again all too soon. I can still watch the Cavs play but I think there’s little chance they will even win 30 games. Even 20 might be pushing it. They just don’t have anyone good enough to fill in those huge shoes. It’s the same when LBJ left back in 2010. They didn’t have a winning season until he returned four years later. In fact they had some of the worst seasons of the entire franchise’s history and it was extremely difficult to watch a team that was so entertaining look so god-awful. Maybe it won’t be as bad as I think, maybe I’m selling the rest of the players short but playoffs are not gonna be in the Q again for a long time and winning another basketball championship is an even longer way off. If they could only do it once with one of the greatest of all time how will they without?

It’s not even about winning so much or even the playoffs. James was fun to watch, every game. He’s the best player the league has seen in a long time, maybe ever. That’s debatable, of course, but at the very least he is awesome. If you want to compare to another great, as people so often do, Michael Jordan, he spent his entire career (before retirement and coming back) with the Chicago Bulls. There’s reasons for that though. The sport has changed since then and I don’t feel the team as a whole did enough to keep him around.

I’ve read plenty of articles, some favorable some not so much but in the end I think James had to do what was best for him. I’m not surprised he left Cleveland again. The first time was certainly different, it was a low blow to everyone I think but you couldn’t blame him for wanting to go somewhere where he could actually win. As for leaving this time, eh, maybe he’d rather live in LA than in Cleveland. Given a choice of cities I think that’s a no-brainer.

He and the owner never got along very well and this last season was proof that losing Irving to the Celtics was pretty much the nail in the coffin. LBJ once said he wanted to finish his career in Cleveland but I’m still blaming a lot of this on DG. To quote a twitter I saw earlier:

“Special place in NBA lore for Dan Gilbert, who backed into the best player of his generation, won the draft lottery three times in four years, spent like crazy, and still ran such a comically inept organization that LeBron bailed and everyone understands.”

I’ve also heard talk that DG was “glad to be getting his team back” and about 100 other things over the years that make me pretty sure that Irving leaving last year was just a precursor to LBJ leaving this year. Maybe that’s a bit unfair...the guy did open his pocketbook quite a bit but he made that all back and plenty more. James was often synonymous with drama and I suppose blame can be put on many shoulders for the way things went. It’s awful that LBJ could never commit to Cleveland and sign any long-term contract but in the end, whatever the reasons, what’s done is done.

I know there are many other factors in his decision to head west but being with the Cavs for 11 years and only winning one championship has to be one of the biggest. NE Ohio will always be his hometown...more than just being born here and what he has done for the community and meant to Cavs fans the whole state over.

I feel like I’m losing a friend and I never even met the guy in person. He’s been the face of the team for so long, come October when the next seasons starts it’s gonna feel so empty and I dunno if I want to watch a team without the person who made me a basketball fan all those years ago when it simply won’t be close to the same excitement level.

Maybe I’ll watch some Lakers games. I’ll admit I didn’t really pay attention to Miami when LBJ was there but I didn’t really have the same view on sports then as I do now. I’m older, most of my friends are married and I don’t really have all that much to look forward to. A lot has changed in the last four years.

Anyway, it’s a blow to what has already been a rough year but it is what it is and there’s nothing I can do about it. I’ll just have to remember that victory on June 19, 2016. Those amazing last minutes of that game seven and looking at the people around me wondering “Is this really going to happen?” Maybe the Indians can do better than last year also. (cuz the Browns sure as hell ain’t doing anything, though they do seem to be trying, and with the NFL’s new helmet rule I think college will be about it for football) As piss poor as the rest of our division is in baseball they are almost guaranteed a playoff spot so we’ll see what happens in October. Winning the World Series would certainly soften this stinger.

Thanks for the championship, all the other wins, the great plays and all the memories, man. I wish things had gone differently but you kept your promise and did more than any Cleveland sports fan could have ever dreamed. You will be missed.

#basketball #nba #lebron james #cleveland

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thespace-dragon · 8 years ago

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*completely ignores the last update time and posts this* hahha hey guys!! yes i havent forgotten about this and tbh, im procrastinating on other fics with this, sooooooo have some langst~

Summary: On the battlefield, anything can happen. Never turn a blind eye to the possibilities.

WC: 2470

Chapters: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6]

Ao3

Alright, so the bonding time he had with Blue didn’t go that great. It was fine, it was the first time they tried it – well, second, but the first time was pretty much an emergency. They had to bond a little or else the Galra would have erased them from the universe.

So, yeah, bonding only happened for the sake of survival.

Keith led Lance out of the cockpit and walked beside him while they meandered throughout the castle. If Lance ignored the way Keith’s jacket shifted (he could hear it since it was the only leather thing on this ship), he could have almost passed the silence off as comfortable. Lately, the two of them have been spending more time together, but it wasn’t a major thing. Like, it wasn’t as if they were actively seeking each other out, it just happened. Mostly when Lance disappeared for too long and Keith came and found him, but after that when Keith knew he was okay, he stuck around. Lance was ready to call them friends in terms of their relationship instead of teammates. Which was a significant shift from teammate and rival.

Keith’s jacket squeaked a little for the umpteenth time and Lance swore it was as if Keith was turning to look at him, think about it, and then look away.

“Okay, what gives.”

He heard Keith stumble slightly before recovering. “Nothing.”

"Keith, you jacket makes a noise every time you turn to me, and it's happened like five times. It's obviously something." Lance nudged him in what he hoped was Keith's arm.

The red paladin grumbled something under his breath.

“Ya know, I may be blind, and my hearing is wonderful, but it’s not that great. You gotta speak up, Keith.”

Keith sighed and pulled Lance to a stop with a hand on his elbow. Lance crossed his arms and faced Keith’s general direction.

“I’m over here, you idiot,” Keith muttered, gently turning him.

“Oh, thanks…”

His friend sighed again and shifted his feet, the soles rubbed against the floor. Lance waited.

After a moment, Keith spoke, “Why were you crying inside your lion?”

Lance sucked in a breath and looked away. He felt like his body was gearing up to cry again – his chest suddenly hurt, his head pounded and his heart felt like it stopped for a moment.

“You don’t have to tell me everything, I was just… just curious.” Keith buried his hands in his pockets and shrugged. “Just making sure you’re doing okay. As a friend.”

Lance shoved his own hands into his pockets, wriggling his toes inside this shoes. “Yeah, I’m okay, was just trying to bond with Blue.”

“And it didn’t go well?”

Lance frowned and looked down, blinking back his tears. He tried to keep his eyes closed as much as possible, everyone's reactions were nearly the same when he opened them out of habit. They either flinched away or immediately switched to doting on him. He'd rather keep his eyes closed and hide as much of the damage as possible.

“Yeah… it didn’t.”

Keith shifted again. “I’m sure she will come around.”

Lance nodded and bit his lip. He desperately wanted Blue to bond with him, he just didn’t know how to reach that point. Not even Keith had reached that level with Red.

“That’s the hope.”

Keith patted his shoulder and nudged him into walking again, the same direction they were going before they stopped. “You could always talk to Shiro, he was able to get the Black Lion to bond with him enough so he could see through her.”

“Wait, how’d you know –”

Lance could almost hear Keith roll his eyes and smirk. “C’mon Lance, it’d be the most logical thing to do.”

“Haha, okay wise guy, you haven’t managed to perfect that skill either.”

Keith laughed. “I know. And that’s the reason why you should talk to Shiro, he has.”

Lance raised his eyebrows in awe; Keith the Garrison’s best fighter pilot after Shiro, mister perfection himself, admitted to not having done something.

“Okay, who are you and what have you done with Keith?”

“Uh, nothing? I’m still me.”

“Riiiight, I so totally believe you.”

Keith laughed again and bumped shoulders with Lance. He could feel the tension melt away as they joked around a little. It felt like Lance wasn’t even blind.

The next day, Lance was wandering around, looking for Shiro. He missed meal time, something that had become a habit lately. It was hard to sleep when everything was already dark. Lance's internal clock was knocked out of rhythm and now he has the hardest time figuring out when it was the day cycle or the night cycle. And by the time he did – mostly because of Hunk's snoring – it was already well into the wee hours of the morning. When he fell asleep, it was still fitful and full of tossing and turning before his mind exhausts itself and lets him fall into unconsciousness.

So here he was, searching for their oh-so-awesome leader and ask him how the heck he managed to bond with the Black Lion so well after slurping down a bowl of food goo.

“Dammit, Shiro, where are y-”

Lance bounced off a solid and quite warm wall before hands grabbed his shoulders to keep him from falling.

“You okay, Lance?” Shiro asked.

Well, speak of the devil and he shall appear.

Lance rubbed his nose gingerly, it was smarting a little after running into Shiro. The guy really needed to take a break, those muscles were like rocks.

“Yeah, I’m fine, was actually looking for you.”

Shiro chuckled and turned Lance around to walk in the direction that he was originally heading. He kept a light hand on Lance’s shoulder.

“Okay, what’s up?”

Lance gnawed on his bottom lip for a second before diving right in. “Do you remember when we were on Arus and we just got all the Lions together? Like, the training exercises that Coran put us through?”

He heard Shiro sigh. “All too well, but what about them? Does this have something to do with your sight?”

“Yeah. Remember that one flight exercise we did where we had to see through our lions?”

“You mean the one where you and Keith raced to see who could hit that ground fastest?”

Lance scowled and flopped his hand around. “Okay, that was not the point, but if that’s the way you remember it, sure, that one.”

The older paladin laughed and patted Lance’s shoulder. “Meant nothing by it, but yes, I do remember.”

They turned a corner, Shiro gently guiding Lance along as they walked to wherever Shiro was going. From the way their steps echoed around them, they had to be close to the control room or the giant ballroom where they hosted the Arusians. Something told Lance it was the control room.

“Okay, so, how did you figure it you?” Lance asked, turning his head towards Shiro. “I’ve been trying to figure it out but it’s not working.”

He felt Shiro’s fingers tighten slightly. It was no secret to him that Shiro wasn’t exactly all for the idea of Lance still piloting the Blue Lion, but what choice did they have? Lance was still alive and Blue had roared oppressively when Shiro suggested that they find a new paladin. Blue was even averse to letting Allura pilot her, and that was saying something.

Shiro took a deep breath. “I trusted my lion to guide me.”

Lance’s jaw dropped. “That’s it?”

Through the hand on his shoulder, Lance felt Shiro shrug. “That’s it. We know the Blue Lion and you are both very trusting, it’s your natures. But I trust everything to my lion, she will get me out of situations in ways that I won’t think of.”

“But I do trust Blue!”

“I know you do, Lance. We all trust our lions, but it’s whether or not you trust her enough to see through her.”

Lance ducked his head and chewed on his lip more. Of course he trusted Blue, she was constant just like Hunk has been throughout his whole life. She comforted him when he couldn’t go to anyone else. She cared. She loved him. And he felt that same way towards her. He wouldn’t trade his lion for the world, not even being top of the class at the Garrison to lord it over Keith. He was proud to be the Blue Paladin of Voltron, he was proud to pilot the Blue Lion, and she was proud to have him. They worked, they clicked in ways that Lance never thought he would click with anyone or anything.

Shiro squeezed his shoulder. “Give it another shot, but Lance…”

He shrugged Shiro's hand off. Guess that hasn't changed. "I'm not giving up, Shiro. I’m going to pilot the Blue Lion.”

Lance spun on his heel and walked away from Voltron’s head, hand trailing along the wall to guide him. He was going to get this. Blue rumbled reassuringly in the back of his mind, guiding him to her. Looked like it was going to be another day spent in her hangar.

Hours passed and nothing. Absolutely nothing. Blue was there and not there at the same time and Lance hadn't felt this frustrated since struggling to become a fighter pilot – something he never really achieved but surpassed by becoming a paladin.

He thrust the controls away from him and pounded his fists on the armrests of his seat.

“Come on, Blue! Help me out here, what am I doing wrong?” he asked to the air. “Why can’t we get this!?”

His lion purred sympathetically, wrapping around him like a comfort blanket. He was so close to breaking down again. He’s missed the team training again, and lunch, and a meeting that Allura wanted to hold. Lance had ignored the call in favor of figuring out this damned ability with his lion. A fat lot of good that did.

He slumped in his seat and let out a rush of air. The inky black that surrounded him was oppressive, a constant reminder that he would amount to nothing. Not a fighter pilot, and now not even a paladin of Voltron. If he couldn’t figure this out, there was no point in keeping him here on the team. He couldn’t help Coran fix that ship, he couldn’t pilot the ship either since it was a job for Allura. He couldn’t fight. He couldn’t analyze data. He couldn’t even cook.

So what good was he?

Lance ran a hand down his face. The darkness crowded closer and if it was even possible, it felt thicker.

Yeah, he wasn’t worth much. Just a hindrance now.

Blue growled at him and pushed against his mind. She shoved images in his head: him making the team laugh, him consoling Hunk when things got too much, him helping Pidge as best as he can with her tech, him saving Coran, and finally, him shooting down all those Galra on the mission that cost him his sight. Each shot saving Keith and Pidge.

You are valuable she was trying to tell him.

Tears pricked his eyes and he stifled a small hiccup. “Thanks, Blue.”

She rumbled again, sounding so much like his mother scolding him for not believing in himself.

But once the feelings started, they were hard to stop. The darkness he was surrounded him felt wet, as much as Blue could tell him that he was needed and wanted as much as she wanted, he still couldn’t fight the feeling of being overlooked and shoved aside because he wasn’t useful.

Shiro’s words echoed in his head. Trust your lion.

He slid further down the chair, slouching heavily. “I don’t get it, Blue. I trust you, I trust you with my life and then some. I know you wouldn’t have chosen me if there wasn't something you saw in me. But I still don't get it."

He heard the hangar door swish open – the one leading outside, to the inky blackness filled with stars and planets and asteroids.

“Blue?” Panic shot through him and he grabbed at the controls. “Blue, you can’t – I can't! I can't see anymore, what if – what if we run into something!"

Blue growled, sounding like she was rolling her eyes and launched herself out of the castle.

“BLUE!” Lance screamed, pulling at the controls to pull her to a stop.

She kept going. His lion revved up her engines and the g-forces forced him into his seat. Lance grit his teeth and gripped the controls harder, pulling them back so much that he nearly touched the armrests of his chair.

What felt like light-years later, Blue finally stopped and Lance found his breath. He leaned forward over his knees and heaved air in and out of his lungs.

“Blue, where are we?”

His dashboard pinged and he knew coordinates were displayed. He groaned and sat up, tossing his head back. Since he was alone, he blinked his eyes open. His sight still revealed nothing, it wasn’t even a shade lighter with his eyes open.

Blue rumbled, telling him to lower his head and face forward. She was being extra bossy today, something she had to have picked up from Red over the last ten thousand years. Lance closed his eyes again, not like keeping them open was doing anything.

His lion growled, feeding him vague instructions just like the first time he flew her. Slow your breathing, open your mind, and trust me.

If he was being honest, he was ecstatic that he was out of the castle for once, and flying Blue again was his dream but the situation had him on edge. Never had Blue done something on her own before – not like how the black and green lions protecting Shiro and Pidge from that Robeast crash landing on Arus, and definitely not like Red launching herself after Keith every time he ejected himself into space.

No, Blue and Yellow never acted out like the other lions. Then again, their paladins rarely got into serious trouble without anyone else there to help them.

The Blue Lion roared at him sharply, almost bark, and it forced Lance to focus his mind back on what she told him to do. He took multiple deep breaths, calming himself. It felt just like when had those mind-melding exercises and he found himself slipping into his meditative state. Blue purred approvingly. She knew her paladin was capable, he just needed to be pushed in the right direction sometimes.

Slowly, the farther and farther Lance fell into meditation, his mind opened. He welcomed Blue into his mind. She curled around him and spun his mind around, aligning it with hers.

Open your eyes.

Lance opened his eyes.

#lance #klance #langst #keith #blind lance #voltron #shiro #mmotb #vld lance #vld keith #vld shiro #blue lion #vld #vld blue lion #klance fic #voltron fic #vld fic #vld klance #mogis messes

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idealisticrealism · 7 years ago

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Blindspot 2x22 recap

(Aka the one where they stop Phase 2 and Jeller finally get their act together)

Delayed by long work hours, an interstate trip for a traditional Indian engagement ceremony (which was AWESOME), and not in the least by my complete inability to deal with any of this episode at all ever.

There is so much screaming ahead, oh my god.

Alright kids, buckle up. This is gonna be a long ride.

Aaand we're back with Weller and Keaton in the Doomsday bunker, and you just know it's gotta be the end of the world when these two are willingly teaming up. As much as I still hate what Keaton did (like really, really hate it), I have to say I really enjoy his and Weller's dynamic as reluctant partners. I also enjoy that Weller is waaay taller than Keaton, and that he's the more dominant one in the pair, with Keaton totally following along like a lil sidekick. Damn straight, son. Know your place, which-- except for this brief excursion-- is in the trash. And okay tbh I would have actually been a little bit intrigued to see what the ‘New America’ would have been like with the COGS in command? I mean it’s not like the current governing body is doing a particularly stellar job.... plus I always really liked Julia Chang and Agent Valentine... and we all know Weller is a great leader. Too bad he and Keaton couldn't have included those two ladies in their little escape plan tho, that would have been a badass team. But obviously we have no idea who is Sandstorm here and who isn't. It's interesting that Weller chose to trust Keaton-- like could he really be sure Keaton wasn't one of them? Though I guess Keaton nearly lost a daughter through his involvement with one of the tattoos, so that makes him being Sandstorm fairly unlikely. And he had Jane for months, so surely he would have just taken her to Shepherd. Anyway lol I love that Keaton practically has to run to keep up with Weller's long, determined strides. And when Keaton is slowing him down with questions etc, Weller’s all like SHUT UP AND MOVE, I GOTTA GET BACK TO MY TEAM. And ugh Keaton, bless you you little jerk: "Your team, or Jane?" Um, why not both?? He can care about both. But lbr mostly Jane tho. But omg I love Weller's 'excuse u??' face as Keaton is calling him out on basically not trusting anyone-- except for Jane, despite everything that’s happened. Uhhh, it's because he looooves her, idiot. And he's kinda sorta almost sure she loves him too. Maybe. Hopefully. Which is all the more reason to get back to her so he can find out. And lol he just shuts down the conversation and continues looking for a phone and Keaton just like rolls his eyes and follows haha. Oh Keaton, you’re a pile of trash but you’re our pile of trash

Ughhhhhhh now Jane is wandering in Weller's office, leaving him yet another in what is obviously a string of voicemails. Like I wonder when she started calling? I assume this is in the morning after the attacks, so he's probably been gone a max of like ten to twelve hours so far. Like I wonder if she called him sometime last night-- maybe she couldn't sleep and just wanted to hear his voice?? But she couldn't get through-- presumably bc he was on a plane or in a meeting or something-- so she just called a couple of times just to listen to his voice on the voicemail message. And eventually she drifts off to sleep, expecting to wake to a message from him-- except there's nothing, and so she calls again, the worry starting to set in. And now here she is, leaving another message, admitting that she's worried about him. It's only been a matter of hours since they were together but already it's so hard for her to be separated from him. And then ugh she's standing over his desk, staring at it like she’s trying to make him appear behind it, when ooooh the new director appears. Tbh I like her instantly-- that soft Southern accent, her genuine consideration of Jane's wellbeing, her tininess but clear boss-attitude... I feel like she’s going to be good for the team. And then ugh Jane immediately asks her about Weller and ughhhh my baby is so worrieddddd about her maaannnn. And then omg Hirst acknowledges that Nas' deal made Jane practically a prisoner-- so glad to hear someone other than Roman pointing this out! And aww she offers her her freedom, and the ability to go anywhere in the world-- and so where does Jane's mind immediately go with those words? To her dream of her future life with Kurt, together and happy, of course. Good lord, Gero, how did you just hit me so hard with literally like two seconds of footage?? And then ugh "I'm a part of this team". I want to cry because it’s so true; Jane belongs here, and she knows it. Bc lbr, Nas' deal might have made her a prisoner of sorts, but this is Jane. If Jane wanted to go, she could have escaped. Jane CHOSE to be right where she is. I do love Hirst's concern though; she sees Jane as a person who deserves to choose her own path, telling her that she needs to ask herself what she truly wants. And oooohhh yeahhhhh you just know that this is going to be a big theme of the episode, with Jane knowing what her instinctive answer is but not knowing if she can actually have it....

Lol at the little tech coming up to talk to Big Boss Patterson-- who is like an old, battle-weary sergeant now, the kind who walks with a limp and stares off into space puffing a cigar as they make vague, trailing statements about 'back before the war...'. But anyhow, the tech tells her about the explosives testing, and Patterson guesses correctly what was used and is all "I know my plastic explosives" and blows the tech's mind a lil bit. God, all of her staff must have such a crush on her. Except maybe Stuart, who is too busy being terrified. Poor boy. And then Jane comes to her and offers to help, but Patterson shuts her down a little bit, grimly telling her it's already over-- but then she sees Jane's face and shakes herself out of it, because Jane doesn't deserve her jagged edges right now. Jane has gone through every step of this right there beside her, going through the same hell she has. And ugh I love the way she softens and apologises and then Jane reaches out to her about whether she would leave or stay, given the choice-- and ughhh I can’t deal with the way Jane is looking at her, like she's desperately hoping to hear that she should stay, that she's wanted, that Patterson knows the team would hate to see her leave-- but instead Patterson just tells her she deserves to do what she wants. Which is also true, but also carefully on the fence, without nudging her one way or the other. And then ughhhhhh “What if this is what I want?”, because it is. She may have ended up here through means outside her control, but this is home. This is where she has a purpose, where she has a family. Where she belongs. But Patterson challenges her on it, and she's kinda right; Jane doesn't know anything else. And I think Patterson would hate it if Jane were to stay-- to give up all other possibilities of a happy life-- purely because this was comfortable or she was scared or felt obligated to stay. And on one hand I'm surprised by Patterson's blunt attitude, and the way it seems like she's pushing Jane to go-- but she just wants her to be SURE. She wants her to fully think things through, to know that their little team-- their little world-- may not always stay the same forever. Reade may soon be gone, and Weller does have a baby on the way, one that he might decide he wants to be closer to, now that their battle with Sandstorm is over. Plus they have no idea what direction Hirst will take the team in. And ughhhh I just want to hug Jane, because she was hoping for reassurance and instead only feels more lost, especially at the thought of Weller leaving. Oh, honey. Just because Patterson MIGHT turn out to be right doesn't mean you should give up on the things you want... And ugh Patterson herself looks dejected and so tired and ugh my babies let me wrap you up in blankets and cuddle you foreverrrrr

I find it hilarious that Weller and Keaton have been able to just wander freely around this top-secret bunker without any army dudes trying to stop them. Tbh I thought they'd be a little more supervised? And they find an old rotary-dial telephone (man I remember using one of those) and a large transmitter thingie which Keaton conveniently knows how to use. Handy. Good work letting him tag along, Weller. And then of course he immediately calls Patterson, who kinda wastes a little time by being confused by the area code-- this is not the time, girl! Also lol good thing she's not like me, and actually answers her phone for unknown numbers. But then aaahhh he's telling her that Phase 2 isn't over and then BAM Keaton nearly gets shot in the head. Excuse you, beardy guy, but no one is allowed to hurt our Keaton but us! And then ugh New Beardy is Sandstorm (sigh, of course, I mean he’s literally directly from their mold) and is about to execute them both when Keaton distracts him just enough for Weller to throw the phone at his head. God I love watching Weller throw things at people. Also lol good thing the cord was long enough to reach... And oooh now it's two-on-one and I'm actually really enjoying watching Keaton and Weller fight together. Just for today, they are 100% on the same team and they will have each other's backs. Also I find it ironic that Weller saves Keaton from being choked to death? Ah, how things change... (Doesn't mean he wouldn't still let his wifey beat the crap out of you though, Keaton). And well, at least now they have a keycard to escape with? Literally though I have so many questions about what's going to happen once they're outside. Like, isn't this some deserted mountain fortress that Weller had to fly to get to? Won't they be surrounded by army dudes?? But no matter, bc no force in the world could stop Weller from getting back to Jane. Ain't no mountain high, ain’t no valley low...

Awwww Reade is still in his bloody clothes-- he's sat by Zapata's bed all night. My baaabies. And ugh the moment she wakes she's like “Did we get Shepherd?/This isn't over" and tbh idk how she knows (gut feeling?) but she's right. And I so wish we got to see her response when Reade got the call from Patterson, telling him what Weller said? And ugh now the team-- or what's left of it, just the three of them-- is in the bullpen, desperately trying to figure out what's about to happen. And ugh Jane immediately wants to find and rescue Weller, but surprisingly it's Reade who steps up (trying to do Dad proud, lbr) and says they'll focus on Sandstorm instead, just as Weller would want. And ugh together they realise that yesterday's bombings prompted a huge security meeting today a the White House, where many government bigwigs will be attending-- just like they do after every major attack. The perfect way to wipe out the whole government is by getting them all in the same room. And then ugh again Reade takes it on himself to be fill-in Weller, giving the orders and going to brief Hirst. Makes sense, given that Patterson is far too important and busy to play messenger haha, and Jane doesn't quite have the FBI cred yet. And ugh good thing the two ladies are left to work together bc they figure out that the explosives Sandstorm used are also rocket fuel, and luckily they know just the person to question about it. It's a good throwback to the last Rich episode, bringing back the Riley guy that we have already known is linked to Sandstorm. And the team is intimidating the shit out of him in the conference room, working hard to break him, when suddenly the SIOC elevators open, and Weller and Keaton step out, fresh from their great escape. Man, I so wish we got to see the particulars of that adventure. I bet it was badass. Or maybe it involved just a bit of badass action as they stole an army jeep, but then got kind of embarrassingly dull as they had to roadtrip together in silence back to NYC. Ah, the awkwardness. But anyhow Jane immediately sees Weller-- lbr, she's been keeping half an eye on that elevator all day-- and ugh I can’t deal with the way she says his name, initially in disbelief, then more loudly as she realises she's not seeing things, that he's really there. And ughhhhhhh kill me now because she legit runs across the bullpen, breath escaping in a relieved little laugh, and literally throws her arms around his neck and holds onto him tightly and ughhh he never got any of her messages so it's almost a surprise to him that she's so relieved to see him, and ughhh since their kiss last night it's like one more wall has crumbled from between them-- I mean, before that kiss she wouldn't have dared to be so open in leaving him worried messages or throwing herself into his arms in the middle of the bullpen but now this is how they are, this is them, (lol Patterson and Reade must be like 'well this is new... but not at all surprising' haha) and ugh he holds her close and they rock a little (rude) and ughhh the little puppy-whimper noise she lets out just kills me. And the way she shakes her head a little to clear it, like she's trying to steady herself, and her "I thought you were..." and ughhhh it kills me so much that she would have had to acknowledge the possibility that he was dead, that getting the message out to them had cost him his life, and she would never see him again... and ugh he assures them (her) that he's alright and gets straight to business. I love that when he calls Keaton over (who, lbr, was probably standing over there shaking his head like 'be more in love with each other I dare you'), Jane is all 'wtf??' and I kinda love that she literally didn't even notice that one of her arch-nemeses was only a few yards away bc til now she had been able to see nothing but Weller. And ugh I wish we got to see Weller's face here, because her eyes barely leave his even as Keaton approaches and ugh I bet he gives her this apologetic look and little nod and it's enough for her; she will always hate Keaton but she trusts Kurt, trusts that he wouldn't ever bring someone like him near her unless it was unavoidable, and ugh our babies are reunited and that’s all that mattersssss

So the team heads back to the lab, joined by their new members-- that cool aunt who is all ladylike and lovely on the surface but will literally beat someone's ass into the dirt and dispose of the body if they dared lay a finger on you, and that awkward cousin who has always been kind of an asshole in order to cover up his insecurities, but has grown up a bit and now is actually trying to be less of a shitbag-- and their focus turns to the last remaining pieces of the puzzle: the still-unused guidance chip, and Shepherd herself. Jane mentions that Shepherd was in Thailand the week before, putting Keaton in the spotlight when he explains that the CIA picked up intel on nuclear material being stolen-- leading to a little squabble between the kids until Aunty Hirst steps in and puts her probably-cowboy-booted foot down. Weller pairs Reade with Keaton, which isn't exactly a deliberate punishment on Reade but hey, two birds one stone. Patterson is tasked to keep finding info to use on Riley. Jane doesn't get given a specific job, but turns and leaves when all the others do-- I guess she assumed Weller would be heading out as well? I'm just surprised she didn't wait for him, tbh. Though maybe Keaton's presence just has her on edge. More likely tho, it was just a choice by the show’s director to have Jane conveniently out of the room for the upcoming conversation. Weller's so cute, literally checking that everyone is gone before asking Patterson about Hirst. And ugh bless my baby's heart, she gives a concise assessment of Hirst (’maverick’ is an interesting choice of term; you wouldn't think someone would get to her level by playing outside the rules) and then tells Weller that she's going to release Jane. And oooohh my boy gets his crinkly face on because ??Wifey is leaving??? Does not compute??? And ugh the stunned look on his face and the disbelieving 'why??' just kill me because he's literally reeling from this news, unable to even process how it could be happening when they had just finally found their way back to each other and ugh he must be wondering if it was the kiss, aka him, that somehow sparked her decision and ugh my poor boy is so distressed-- and then Patterson is all 'well yeah I kinda told her to go' and ooooh big bro is NOT PLEASED. How dare his little sis do this?? But ugh she calls him Kurt (literally has she ever called him that before?? Bc if she has I don't remember) and oooohhh she drops the truth bomb on him that Jane didn't choose this life (I think he forgets that sometimes? Like to him Jane is just such an intrinsic part of the team and what they do, that he forgets that she came to them through less-than-voluntary circumstances), and she suggests if he's got something to say to Jane he should do it now, allowing her to make her decision with all the facts. OOOOHHHH, TEN MILLION POINTS TO PATTERSON. This kind of forceful Jeller-encouragement almost makes up for all the Jeller-interrupting she's done in the past year haha. Almost. Now go on Weller, listen to your lil sis....

Aww poor Zapata is not having an easy time sitting on the sidelines. I feel you, girl. And then she realises from Reade's tone on the phone that something else is going on, and she'll be damned if she's not going to be there with her team for it. Also lol she rips out her drip and somehow it doesn’t bleed at all. Mmm-hmmm, sure. I see no flaws in this whatsoever. But god, the local hospitals really must dread having these guys as patients, because they literally never do what they're told haha

Oh, so this is why Weller didn't give Jane a task like the others. They both already knew that they would be going in to finish interrogating Riley together. Jane was probably already waiting outside the interview room for him when he showed up, wondering what had delayed him in the lab and why he looked somewhat shaken all of a sudden. And of course she would have asked him if everything was alright, instantly knowing by just the tone of his reply that it wasn't but that they wouldn't be able to broach it until after this mission was done. Luckily Patterson has discovered that Riley's sister lives close enough to DC to be endangered by a nuclear attack, allowing them to get the truth out of him-- he launched a satellite for Shepherd. And well this seems like a big deal, especially considering Patterson literally sprints from her lab to confront Riley-- and oh the satellite will launch a glider that will head straight to DC. He thought it would just hit the white house, but instead it'll be aimed at the nuclear material, making things about a million times worse. The attack would wipe out the whole eastern seaboard, which would be very, very bad. Hold on, that also means that it will kill both Shepherd and Roman as well?? I mean, they're right there in DC with the truck, so unless they have a private jet, surely they don't have time to get to a safe distance? Lol I love when the team finds Zapata in the bullpen and she's all 'wait, there’s nukes??' and the boys are all YOU SHOULD BE IN HOSPITAL because they're Expert-Level Hypocrites haha. God I love her sass 'you two done mothering me?' and Weller's faaaace-- the poor man has been spoiled by Reade and Keaton's obedience today and keeps forgetting that he has zero control over his ladies haha. Also speaking of Keaton, he is SUPER quick to offer to brief Zapata, and ugh I love how annoyed and disgusted she is to see him there. Glad Jane has someone on her side with this haha. And then Keaton's all 'I used to fly jets/ oh the domestic drone program is upstairs' and ugh she is so done with him already and it's been like ten seconds. I love her. And he seems to just like her more for it, and oh buddy, you don't stand a chance. Just give up now (also aren’t you married??). Then in retaliation for her bad behaviour, Weller partners them while the others try to hide their smirks. Keaton is naturally pleased, while you can literally almost feel Zapata's eyes rolling lol. Clearly ready to be out of there, Weller all but grabs Jane and heads to the elevator to catch their plane-- I mean, they're the best partnership the FBI has, and if they fail, at least they die together-- completely cutting Patterson off when she suggests saying their goodbyes. Come on, Patterson, you know big bro doesn't deal with either emotions or the prospect of failure well. Still, I bet Jane totally looked back and gave them all a sad little wave before following him, because while she's ready to die beside him, she hates the thought of leaving her team-- her family-- behind ugh

Ughhh Zapata and Keaton scanning DC with drones looking for the nuclear stuff is so funny-- he tries to mansplain it to her and she's all ‘YEP FULLY AWARE THANKS’ and ugh she calls him Jake which is kinda funny, since being part of the 'team' means getting called by your last name (Jane is a special case because everyone knew her last name would be Weller too one day) and so it's like she's deliberately degrading him a little and reminding him he's not one of the club. And ugh he persists (bc of course he does) and asks how she's doing and tells her he admires her and asks her to work for the CIA and ooooohhhhh buddy. Don't you know your predecssor tried this same thing, and ended up dead a short time later? In an unrelated incident, but still. Asking her to go over to the CIA is like asking a die-hard sports fan to convert to their arch-rival team. Not gonna happen. She'll be carrying that FBI badge til the day she dies, bucko. (Which will hopefully be man, many years in the future btw)

Aaaahhh the plane. Jeller on a plane. I'm having very pleasant flashbacks of hearteyes and handholding rn, so I’m crossing my fingers for more of the same. Poor Jane, though; she clearly still does not like planes at all. She looks so uncomfortable haha. And Weller does too, but for a completely different reason: "Patterson told me that you're thinking of leaving". And oh my godddddd this conversation is killing me because they're both idiots who are operating completely on assumptions; like Weller is trying to be a good guy and support her right to live life how she chooses, because he already believes she'll leave-- bc why stay with damaged goods like him when she now has the whole world at her feet?-- and she thinks his encouragement is because he believes she should go, and ugh she puts out feelers, trying to gauge his mindset, talking about maybe California and then asking him about Colorado, and ugh she encourages him to take a spot in Denver because she wants him to be happy and ughhhhh you idiots, just SAY WHAT YOU REALLY FEEL, WHICH IS THAT YOU BOTH WANT TO STAY BY EACH OTHER'S SIDE FOREVER AND EVER AND NEVER LEAVE EACH OTHER EVER. (Also known as marriage. Just put a damn ring on it already jfc). But ugh instead there's this soft little moment where they acknowledge that they're both allowed to be happy, and again you dumb children each keep assuming that the other means going their separate ways but actually literally means the exact opposite. GAWD STOP TRYING TO SPEAK IN SUBTEXT AND JUST SAY WHAT YOU MEAN. AND THEN GET SOME MILE-HIGH JELLER LOVIN' HAPPENING LIKE LITERALLY YOU'RE ON A LUXURY JET ALONE WITH THE PERSON YOU LOVE AND IT MIGHT LITERALLY BE YOUR LAST DAY ON EARTH LIKE WHY ARE YOU WASTING THIS OPPORTUNITY I DON’T UNDERSTAND

Thankfully, I have Patterson and her sass (dissing Riley) to make me feel better haha. And then the NASA people arrive and she's all 'hey I know barely anything about this but'-- *poses incredible, literally-out-of-this-world theory and is met with well deserved awe and admiration* haha. Also lol Eileen "Oh that is not to scale" hahahahaaa. I love having Reade and Hirst represent the viewers who are all sitting here like me going 'yes.. spaceships will save them. Mmm-hmmm I totally understand everything that is happening right now. Spaceships.' lol. And speaking of genius ladies, Zapata realises that Shepherd has hidden the nuclear stuff in something lead-lined (just watch Keaton's crush growing ever larger lol), leading to her finding Shepherd's location and giving it to Weller and Jane, who are now firmly on the ground, right in the danger zone. Man, I wish we got to see more of that car ride from the airport. I know Weller is very anti-goodbyes rn, but I feel like Jane would have wanted to say something? Though then again she's probably decided she'll hold it in right until she's sure they're done for, then confess everything to him. Meanwhile he's probably thinking the same, because they are a pair of idiots who like to torment me with their inability to use words properly when it comes to literally any emotion that’s not anger

So Shepherd and Roman are hanging in the truck, then she sends him to kill a couple of cops who are likely just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Well, this is certainly reminding me of this season's premiere. Also I totally bet Roman is wearing gloves because of Luke's injury. Seriously tho dude you can't walk towards cops with a knife in your hand and not expect to get shot??? (Oh wait, that's right, you're white. Nvm.)

Meanwhile the supergeniuses in the bullpen have hit a rather apocalyptic snag-- the launch sequence for the glider has already started, and there's no way to hack it in time. Well, shit. Patterson yet again comes up with an idea, suggesting using the mini spaceship to push against the satellite and stop if from getting to its firing location, giving them more time. Good on you, lil Patterson-spaceship. Good luck against Shaquille O'Neal haha.

Aarghhh Weller and Jane and their band of merry men have caught up to Shepherd, and ohhh this makes me nervous. Aaaand yep, a bunch of Sandstorm dudes just came out of nowhere, taking out pretty much everyone but Weller and Jane before being taken down themselves. So now it's very much a family affair; daughter and son-in-law vs mother and brother. And ugh have I mentioned lately how much I love how in sync these two are?? The way they move, the way they communicate-- they really are the FBI elite. And then surprise, a wild Shepherd appears, giving us another Jane/Shepherd showdown-- which lbr Shepherd was def about to win before Jane's hubby showed up and shot her haha. Ah, this gives me such satisfaction. So on one hand, yay, they've got Shepherd-- but on the other, everything has just gone to hell anyway because the glider just launched, giving them thirty minutes until impact and no way to hack it. It's headed for a homing beacon, and I love that when Weller comes up with the idea cloning it and sending it after a fake one, Patterson's already in the middle of doing just that haha. Jane's convinced that Shepherd has the beacon, and Weller pats her down for like three seconds before being like 'I can't find it' haha. I'm so surprised by that Weller, I mean you were so thorough?? Anyway Keaton and Zapata find a railroad tunnel that they could get the truck to which would prevent a lot of the effect of the blast-- but even if they get it there, they won't make it back. And ughhhhh the heavy silence in the bullpen and the way Jane and Weller are staring at each other... this is too much. I can't deal. And then Weller tells Jane to stay, that he'll take the truck, and ughhhh her voice is all thick as she fiercely tells him that she's not letting him go alone and ughhhhh she would rather die by his side than live without him, and he would rather die alone so that she could live. Either way, I'm already dead because these two have killed me. Goodbye, world. And then ughhhh Patterson has tears in her eyes as she tells them they both have to go. They have to find the homing beacon and destroy it, while also getting the truck as far away as possible. They accept that like champs, because this thing is far bigger than just their own lives. So Weller has Jane drive, saving her from having to deal with Shepherd, while Patterson reprograms an app and sends it to him to use as a bug-sweeper. Man, she is amazeballs. Remember how screwed this team (and the world) would be without her? Also Keaton and Zapata have rejoined the rest in the bullpen, and ugh what an intense situation to be in, all of them there, just (for the most part) watching helplessly as the seconds tick down to Armageddon. I think some of the randoms in the back are on the phone and I totally identify with that. Personally I'd be on the phone to my mum lol

Speaking of moms, Shepherd is waxing poetic over Weller, talking about how great he is, and ummmm lady it's weird to have a crush on your son-in-law. And then he realises that Shepherd swallowed the beacon, and literally whips out a knife-- but hold up, son, what’re you doing? Like yes, you could actually cut her open and try to fish it out. I mean, circumstances ARE dire, but still... and also you know how much gastrointestinal tract there is?? If she swallowed it hours ago it would be well into her intestines by now, and trust me, that junk ain't easy to fish around in. But that's about to become a moot point, because Jane and Roman are playing the world's most intense game of chicken, and dear lord what even is this. Like he knows that he is in a car, right? One that's a hell of a lot smaller than a freakin' reinforced truck?? And ughhh she saw him there in the driver’s seat. She knew it was him, and did it anyway, because she had to. She couldn't let her love for her brother cost so many lives. Too bad the impact knocked her out. And ugh poor Patterson dials back in (since their comms had been off coz they messed with the bug-sweeper) only to hear Weller groaning out Jane's name, clearly injured. God, it would be awful being in that bullpen right now, so completely unable to help. And ugh Weller pulls a shard of metal out of his leg, and dammit son do you not remember ANY first aid skills?? Leave it in, you idiot! I mean it's too far to the outer side to have hit the femoral artery or vein, but that doesn't mean there aren't plenty of other very bleedy vessels in there just waiting to spurt all over the place. Gah. And ugh both Zapata and Patterson are in tears as they tell him he has to get up and keep looking bc they only have two minutes until the glider hits the point of no return. Damn, that half hour went fast. And ugh he tells them that Shepherd swallowed it and they all look so stunned and desolate, like they're out of options. But Weller has one more idea, and it's a shocking one. (Yes, I did just wink at my screen just then. You’re being winked at. Jsyk.). Meanwhile Jane regains consciousness and immediately calls Weller's name, and ugh never mind about the nuclear bomb, these two are definitely going to be the death of me first. She's trying to get to him when Roman attacks her-- damn, son, are your bones made of admantium or something?? And now it's two epic showdowns-- brother versus sister, and Weller + defibrillator versus Shepherd + beacon. And for a second I'm actually legitimately stunned bc I think Weller must know that his plan will very possibly kill him too-- after all, they're both kneeling on the same metal surface, which WILL CONDUCT ELECTRICITY-- but wait nope apparently this is TV science and therefore Weller is unaffected haha. Mmmkay. It doesn't work anyway, and ugh my baby Patterson can barely speak through her tears as she tells him so. He tries again, partly bc what other option does he have, and partly bc he just wanted to hurt Shepherd for doing this to them all, and this time it works, with the decoy beacon taking over right at the last moment and sending the glider harmlessly into the ocean. And ugh the celebration in the bullpen is like the most adorable thing ever-- honestly I recommend pausing this scene a few times and looking at everyone's reactions haha. My personal fave is Hirst. And ugh Patterson tells Weller it worked and he tells her she did a ‘nice job’ (understatement of the year haha) and ughhhhh this lil familyyyyyyyy

Speaking of families though, Jane and Roman are still battling it out, and Jane is absolutely winning, bc of course she is. She was always the stronger one, in every way. And ugh she has her gun on him and he yells at her to do it, to kill him, but she won't, she can't. And Weller hears his shout, instantly realising what's happening, and drags his exhausted and bleeding body up off the floor because he needs to protect Jane. Not necessarily from Roman, but from having to make a choice that would break her. Noble thought, buddy, but I think you'll find standing up is a lot harder than being on the floor. Your body ain't gonna like it. (Mine doesn't even on the best of days haha). And ugh Jane lowers the gun and lets Roman go, because she can't kill him. It's the same as in 2x01 when she could easily have shot Weller, but didn't. She loves them and could never hurt either of them. And ugh Weller tries to jump down from the truck to give chase, but I told you buddy, your body ain't made for the vertical plane right now. So he literally falls at her feet, rapidly losing consciousness (bet you wish you'd left that damn spiky thing in now, huh??) and ugh she's so panicked because she has no idea what happened in there or what his injuries are and she's all 'say something!' and so he uses his last ounce of strength to tell her not to move to California, to stay with him instead... and that he loves her. Literally if he'd died of these wounds, his very last words would have been 'I love you'. Honestly sometimes this ship makes me want to scream. And by ‘sometimes’, I mean ALL OF THE DAMN TIME. And ugh I'm going to ignore the rather unflattering camera shot lol (poor Sully haha) and focus instead on Jane's face, because for a woman who has already been through hell like eighteen different ways, she looks like she's on the verge of a breakdown rn because he loves her and he might be dying and I'm not even sure if she heard what was happening over the comms before or not-- hell it might have been knocked out of her ear during her fight-- and so she might not even know if the attack is still about to happen or not and ugh this is just a lot for my poor precious girl to deal with rn. Though I'm sure she gets her shit together pretty quick and gets Patterson to send an ambulance bc no way is she letting him leave her now, or ever, and lbr she goes with him when they take him, staying by his side with her hand around his-- whispering I love yous into his ear that he'll later think he only dreamed he heard-- right until he's taken into surgery, and only then allowing anyone to patch her up while anxiously waiting for news. Hirst arrives just a little later, allowing Jane to sit at his bedside for a few hours while he sleeps, and while Hirst deals with Shepherd and the nukes and everything else, then she eventually returns to make Jane take the plane back with her so she can give her full statement at the NYO. And even with the threat to her life now over, she sleeps in the cell again, calling the hospital for regular updates overnight, heart thudding painfully when the nurses tell her that he's been muttering her name in his sleep. The next afternoon, she knows when he's been discharged, knows that he'll come straight to the NYO once his flight lands-- and knows that she can't face him. Not there, where so many eyes will be on them, where she'll be forced to hold back how she feels. So she goes to Hirst, who understands, and who tells everyone she needs to go to medical for an assessment. Instead she goes back to the safehouse, sits on the couch, and lets herself cry. Cry about it all finally being over, cry about losing Roman, about almost losing Kurt-- and then finally when she can breathe again she pushes herself up and goes to shower and dress, immediately picking the red blouse, because during that scavenger hunt red had been their colour, the thing that marked them as trusted partners, and she wants him to see it and know that she’s in this, that their fates really are forever intertwined, that he is hers and she is his.

In the meantime, though, Weller arrives back at the NYO, steeling himself as the elevator doors begin to open. He remembers what he said, and he knows Jane heard it-- and possibly everyone on the comms, too. And then ugh the doors open and they're all there cheering for him and for a split second his eyes look for Jane-- hoping to see her right there at the front with the team-- but she's not there and Reade is already approaching him and so he goes with it and hugs his people-- ugh I love the way that each hug is different; Reade's is a congratulatory, dude-you-scored-the-home-run happy kinda hug, Patterson's is a little more tender and sisterly, while Zapata's her usual sarcastic-but-secretly-softhearted self and jokes about not being that worried about him, even though they both know she was. And ugh the happy grin on her face as she grips him tight for a moment is just so sweet. And ugh Weller telling them all how glad he is to see them and ugh he's just so totally their dad. For everyone outside the main team, he's Work-Dad, and ugh he's so proud of his lil secret agents. But even so, he's had a moment to look around now, searching the crowd, looking for one face in particular, and it's not there. He's barely even finished acknowledging all these people-- let alone started on the obligatory big speech-- and he's already asking for her. He may have had reservations before about being too open in his feelings for Jane (FYI, everyone could see it anyway, buddy) but now he literally does not care one bit who knows it. Good old Hirst quickly reassures him that she's fine-- because give him even the slightest indication that something might be wrong and he'll rip those stitches right out as he goes running after her-- and uses the medical excuse (after all, that's what she's been telling everybody), and then gets him back on track with the whole, you know, saving the day thing, and ugh now work-dad is giving his speech and ugh he's so good at it and ughhh even I'm feeling validated on their behalf rn, so I'm so happy for them haha. Also lol I love that little twirly hand gesture thing he does, bc thanks to instagram we now know that's totally a Sully thing and it just makes me giggle okay

Oooooh Shepherd is in the fancy magical MRI lie detector, and ugh again another ridiculously unrealistic needle is being given. Find an actual vein, guys, don't just stab it into the elbow! Sigh. And she's acting all tough with Keaton, bc lbr, he may be a torturer but he's still kinda lame? But then Nas walks in, and Shepherd looks like she's pooping her pants. On one hand I'm excited for the intel they'll get from her and for Nas to finally get her revenge-- but on the other, I still worry about Nas' trustworthiness and what she might do with the knowledge she gains. But I guess we'll see...

Lol Zapata is so cute, bringing Weller the newspaper about Riley's arrest. Yep, being a government agent sure is a thankless job. But then, Weller would never want the limelight anyway. Kinda reminds me of that scene in Kingsman where Colin Firth's office walls are covered in the front pages of newspapers on days where he's prevented some huge disaster, with the lead stories always being something completely inane. I love that Weller's first question is to see how she's going. Ugh, he just cares so much. I also really like that Audrey is having her injured arm hanging limply at her side-- finally, someone on the team actually continuing to look visibly injured! Though I'd prefer her in a sling. And in hospital. But whatevs. And ugh she asks about Roman, because of course she has to know. She's had a thing against him (or for him?? I’m still hopeful lol) from day one. And ugh his words are almost a warning when he tells her to read the report, that Jane didn't have the shot. He's telling her that that's the only answer that there will ever be to that question, that there would be no more arguing or questioning or digging. His loyalty is with Jane, and therefore Roman is off limits. Ughhhhh such a good hubbyyyyy

Meanwhile in the lab, Patterson already has the booze waiting (ugh, again on the touchscren?? How could you??) and there are only three glasses... looks like it's just the Three Amigos tonight. And Reade gets there an ugh they both just look so exhausted and then she's all 'what now' and surprisingly Reade has apparently decided that this is where he belongs-- Quantico is forgotten, and he's already ready to take his next stand with the team. But Patterson isn't, and oh god the way she just crumbles and ughhhhh our baby has been so strong for so long and now she just can't do it anymore. Ugh can she at least just have a holiday? Let them all go to some tropical island and be served drinks by handsome dudes (or in Reade's case, beautiful ladies) and just unwind. And ughhh Reade looks exactly how a loving big brother always does when his little sister cries-- incredibly dismayed and at a loss for what to do. A moment later Zapata appears to back him up, though looks taken aback herself to find out that Patterson-- their indefatigable little genius machine-- is falling apart. And ugh Reade has recovered enough to give a reassuring speech-- "this job takes everything” sounds very reminiscent of S1 Weller's outburst at Sarah-- and ugh who would have thought that Edgar Reade, recent Human Disaster and near-deserter, would be the one holding the team together now?? 'It gives us a way to fight back. It gives us family. It gives us hope.' and ugh if that isn't the heart of this show, I don't know what is. Unless it's Zapata's loving snark: "Is that right, Quantico?" hahaha. She may be sarcastic, but then again she just made Patterson laugh when a minute ago she was near-breakdown. I mean I just love this family so much??? They are just so perfect together and ugh they make a toast to family and I am overwhelmed

Speaking of family, they're now all gathered at Weller’s-- tho he's out on the balcony in a moment that's very reminiscent of 1x01, undoubtedly thinking about Jane, and his confession, and the future, and lots of stuff that is definitely far too heavy for a celebratory get-together, so he pulls himself together and joins the others, who are laughing and relaxed and lounging around his apartment like it's their own. Remember when none of them had ever even been there, and now it seems like they're hanging out there every other week?? FAMILYYYY. And ughhh Patterson looks so much lighter and happier and dude I agree with Weller-- I wanna know what they were laughing about? But alas we'll never know bc all of a sudden Jane appears, letting herself in without knocking bc of course she does, it's practically her apartment now too, and ughhhh look at her excited lil face and the lil wave she does and lbr Weller has literally forgotten the other three even exist bc rn all he sees is her, and he walks toward her with this slightly awed but also questioning look, like he can barely believe she's really there, and then "I didn't think you were coming"-- bc you just know he probably tried to call her or at least send her a message but couldn't get hold of her, so he'd already half-convinced himself that she was already pulling away from them all, or even right at that moment getting ready to head to California, and ugh when she asks to talk to him outside you can just see the apprehension that spreads across his face and for a split second he can’t even force himself to move because he thinks this is it, this is goodbye, and god he can't do it but he knows he has to and so he forces his feet to move, following after her-- but seriously he's so busy freaking out that he doesn't even register the air of nervous excitement that's literally radiating from her or the way she glances back to make sure he's following, or the eager light in her eyes as she turns to him and draws in a deep breath-- and dude, c’mon. This is not the face of someone who is about to drop a rejection and a goodbye in the same sentence. This is the face of someone at the very top of the rollercoaster, who is simultaneously terrified of the drop but also feeling more exhilarated and alive than they ever have before, and who is SO READY to tip over the edge and take the plunge. And then she takes that deep breath and begins "So they told me I could go anywhere..." and omg. She's literally rehearsed this. Jane Doe is using a ~line~ on Kurt Weller. She's literally paused for dramatic effect, letting him imagine all the very far-away places she might choose. And now here it comes: "...But this is where I wanna be." BAM. Damn, girl, I am so proud of you. From the girl who made that super awkward dinner invitation to Oliver however many weeks ago, this was so smooth. And then aaaahhhh the fear on his face just disappears (melted by the sunbeams of PURE LOVE that are shining from his eyes) and he gives the lil Kurt Weller smirky-smirk and then she does the bravest thing she's ever done and tells him she loves him back and ughhhhh just look at these two idiots?? She's already trying to find the words to follow that confession (words? what are words??) and he just gives a little shake of his head-- because she loves him and that's all he's ever needed to hear-- and steps forward and just. CLAIMS HIS WOMAN. And well I guess the background music is pretty damn fitting, given that the main lyric is "I wanna make out with you". Can't get much more accurate than that. Also lol since that song is technically "playing" in his apartment, does that mean he chose it? Did he literally make an entire spotify playlist full of subliminal messages just in case Jane came to the party? Like just imagine if she'd come inside instead of talking to him out in the hall, and then as he hands her a drink he comments very pointedly on really liking this song, that it has good lyrics, and then Jane listens for a second and then stares at him and then they immediately find an excuse to go out on the balcony or to the nursery and maaaake ouuuuttt. But of course this way is much better than that anyway, with the two of them FINALLY ON THE SAME PAGE, grinning at each other and making out in the hallway like a pair of TEENAGERS who have no concept of PEEPHOLES. Because you KNOW that at least one of the others witnessed this whole thing through that little spy-hole-- I mean let's be real, when Jeller walk back into the apartment (trying to play it cool and completely failing haha), literally none of the others are where they were when Jane arrived? Reade is now sitting with his back to the door, wearing his jacket and a ruefully amused expression, Patterson is standing way around the other side of the counter from where she was before, grinning and playing with her fingers like she just can't keep still, and Tasha's standing near her-- tbh my main bet for the one spying on them would be Peeping Patterson, though I can't rule out Zapata joining her at the doorway and giving a sniggering play-by-play for (a thoroughly unwilling) Reade before the two of them scurry back to the kitchen when Jeller are about to head inside. And then speaking of our happy couple, the two of them have literally barely stepped into the apartment (Weller opens the door for her ugh, having to lean in close to her to do so, which is such a little thing but kills me so much) and immediately Reade is all like 'wooop, gotta go, some never aforementioned bro needs help with some unspecified thing' and bails (also ughhh I never noticed the little grin he and Weller share for a split second right as he passes him?? Ugh someone save me from this familyyyy) and then Zapata's all 'yep, gotta go with him, no possible way for me to get home in NYC except with Reade, nope not at all' and follows him out, and oh my precious supergenius Patterson is just all 'no way am I third-wheeling you two after a year of pent-up UST so I am going to go literally anywhere else' lol and ugh she tells them to have fun and that she'll see them sometime, pretty much implying that she doesn't expect them to emerge from their sex-romp for quite some time and omg I can't even imagine what it's like to be in a situation where your friends literally... uh, what's the opposite of cockblock?... for you? It's awkward but not, and oh god Weller's breathy little 'and... goodbye' and then ugh the stupid little grins they exchange, like I look at her face and I can literally almost hear a Wild-West-era petticoated belle saying 'My, how are we ever going to pass the time?' while batting her eyelashes coyly at the cowboy and he gives his sly heartthrob smile and answers in a low drawl 'I have a few ideas, ma'am' and DON'T ASK ME WHY THIS JUST TURNED INTO SOME WILD WEST HARLEQUIN ROMANCE. I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER WHERE (OR WHEN) MY BRAIN GOES. But regardless, lbr here-- that was pretty much exactly the wordless conversation that was had (okay maybe sans accents), and Jane seems to very much approve of Weller's ideas, which involve a lot of making out and manhandling-- shoving her against a wall and then carrying her to bed and putting her down so delicately ughhhhhhhh-- paired with the enthusiastic removal of clothing haha. And you know what, while I'm in no way a particular supporter of the strobelight sex scene, the more I watch it (errr... for scientific reasons of course), the more I find it cute rather than ridiculous. Plus if you let your eyes go a tiny bit out of focus and don't try to look at any particular thing too closely, and instead just let it like wash over you, it's not that bad at all. I do love the sheer amount of grinning happening all throughout though-- remember how we all thought their first time would be so serious and emotional? Instead they are literally giggling like the idiots they are and I love it. Like can you literally give me an example of two happier people?? Didn’t think so. And ughhhhhh I'm just so happy for themmmm, our babies are finally together where they belongggggggggg aaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Okay, so that's a cliff, and that's Jane climbing it... but there's too much hair. Way too much. Takes-months-and-months-to-grow kind of much. Also on one hand this is cool because I recently just got back into rockclimbing myself and I'm like DUDE SHE'S FREECLIMBING A FREAKIN' GIANT CLIFF WITH A BACKWARDS INCLINE and then it's like my excitement literally falls off a cliff of its own as the 'two years later' appears on the screen. God, I don't even know what my face must have looked like in this moment, but I am certainly well aware of my stomach abruptly dropping about five feet. Tbh to me a timejump is possibly the worst non-bad thing that can happen in a show??? Like it's not up there with people being killed off or anything, but... two freakin' years. Two years where anything could have happened, and two years full of events that we may never get to see. In some shows, that wouldn't really matter much. But when that two years includes your OTP's first morning together and subsequent canon-coupleness, losing two years feels like a punch to the gut and a spit in the face all at once. Like two years is pretty much double the span of the entire past two seasons. The only comfort I have right now is that this show does flashbacks so well, and possibly may continue them into S3, giving us little glimpses of Jeller and the team along the way. God, I hope so. Also my other problem with this timejump thing, I’m realising, is that we never got the resolution I was expecting with the whole Allie thing-- honestly, I was expecting her to die before ever having the baby (I know, I’m awful) and now that’s unlikely to be the case, meaning in this new future Weller has a toddler-aged child... and if you thought I was awful a second ago, prepare to think worse of me because I’m actually legitimately upset about it. I went through this whole season believing the pregnancy was either a lie or that it would somehow never eventuate, and I’m not dealing well with the now-inevitability of this child. I feel like this is going to be one of those canon details that just gets erased from my brain, tbh. Where’s that Nick Fury gif about ignoring the council’s stupid-ass decisions? Because that’s literally me rn. But anyhow, back to more important things than non-existent progeny, aka Jane and the cliff. To get to the top she literally has to climb out on an overhang and then up, and good lord this woman is a superhuman. And then she's at the top and I want Kurt to be waiting up there for her but lbr if he was here he would have climbed with her or at least forced her to use ropes and idk how but that climb also felt very much like a ~journey~ and oh this is so worrying. So worrying. And some cute monk lady approaches and tells her there's still longing in her eyes and Jane closes her eyes and looks away and oh no. No no no. Longing implies separation from the things you love. Help me, I am withering inside because whatever happened in those two years, somewhere along the way my babies were torn apart from one another. And Jane says she's climbed this mountain dozens of times-- but why? In search of inner peace? I can tell you right now you're not gonna find it without Kurt by your side, honey-- and ugh the monk lady tells her to go home and YES LISTEN TO HER BC YOU’VE ALREADY CLEARLY BEEN GONE FOR FAR TOO LONG and then "No, I can never go back"--- *insert agonized wails here because I don't have words for this* (Okay maybe I do: WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?????!???????!!!???!????????!?!!?????????!!!) and then ughhh soon after she's sitting alone in her little tent thing, sketching (how many pictures of Weller are there in that book?? I need to know immediately) and then the girl tells her she has a visitor and IN STEPS KURT WELLER. In a blue shirt, of all things, because of course he is. And wait did he literally just trek up a mountain to find her??? (Somewhere up in heaven, Marvin Gaye looks down approvingly for a second time this episode) And ugh she looks so stunned to see him, like she can't believe he's really there, really real, and for a couple of beats they just stare at each other and it's not clear whether she's terrified of his anger or if they parted on bad terms but then tears shine in his eyes and he drops his bag and she lets out a little whimper and literally throws herself into his arms and ughhhh they're holding each other so tight and he says he can't believe he 'finally' found her and she just holds him and presses her face to his neck and this is most definitely not a pair who parted on bad terms. This is two people who are still completely and utterly in love with one another and have been pulled apart by some external force and ugh this is simultaneously beautiful and awful. And then he gently but firmly pushes her away a little and admits, voice shaking, that he was scared for her-- because of course he was. All the people he's loved most in the world, he's lost (even Sarah and Sawyer moved away). And to be so far from her, to now know where she was or if she was okay... god, it would have near killed him. And she would have known that, which would have near-killed her. And ughhh she apologises over and over and he does that thing he does when he's trying not to cry, where his eyebrows draw together and he looks away and she tells him she can't explain, but why????? Literally what Bad Thing could exist that she couldn't tell the love of her life about??? And then she lowers her eyes, unable to meet his, and suddenly she chokes up even more and she says 'you're still wearing your ring' and I AM SCREAMING. WEDDING RING. ON WELLER'S FINGER. JANE BEING A COMBINATION OF HEARTBROKEN AND RELIEVED THAT HE'S STILL WEARING IT. JELLER ARE MARRIED. I REPEAT, JELLER ARE MARRIED. And ughhhhh he fiddles with it and just says 'yeah' and she looks like she's literally about two seconds from a complete breakdown. Oh god. Sometime in that two years, they literally got married. They planned on spending the whole rest of their lives together. And then SOMEONE (lookin' at you, Gero) forced Jane to leave. Because god knows she would never have left him willingly; only if she thought she had no other choice, and only to protect him. Ugh, I really, really hope they give us a good reason for this and not something that she should have just talked to him about and faced with him. Also uhh I've seen a strangely high number of people concerned that Weller is married to someone else??? Literally that would make zero sense, not only from the character perspective-- what, you think Mr Too-Choosy could somehow fall out of love with his soulmate Jane, meet someone else, and marry them, all within two years? Yeah, not gonna happen, son-- but also from a human-interaction perspective. If Weller somehow did marry someone else, firstly Jane wouldn't have hugged him the way she did bc something would have had to have gone super wrong between them for him ever to try to move on, and secondly she certainly would never have commented on him 'still wearing it' because that would already be her default expectation? He would have been married when she left, so of course he would still be married now. And that's not even to mention her visceral reaction to the ring-- that combination of devastation and involuntary gladness is so telling, bc on one hand deep down she's so happy to see him still wearing it because it means that he hasn't turned his back on her, that he still considers himself her husband and there's still hope for the two of them, but also devastation because his faithfulness only makes it more clear how much she's hurt him, and also hurts worse because she thinks (for an as yet unknown reason) that there's actually no way for them to ever be together again. And god I just feel so sad for both of them rn ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Why did you have to separate them, Gero, why???? (Well, for drama, I suppose, but honestly THAT'S A TERRIBLE REASON. LET COUPLES JUST BE TOGETHER AND HAPPY GODDAMMIT. TRUST ME IT CAN STILL BE GOOD TV.) And then ugh she's trying so hard not to cry and Weller can't bear to see that so he gets down to business, telling her she has to come back bc the other three have been kidnapped. Which is awful but tbh I'm more focused on how the others felt when Jane left? Did the kiddies feel like mom had abandoned them? Are they mad at her, on Weller's behalf as well as their own? Will they forgive her straight away and joyfully welcome her back when she and Weller rescue them, or will there be that distance and frostiness like at the start of last season? And Jane asks him if Roman was involved-- and while he doesn't know, this mention definitely bodes well for getting to see Roman next season. Then Weller pulls out a box with her name on it in the same style as his tattoo on her back (clearly they didn't get the memo about her new last name tho) and ugh he holds it out to her, telling her no one has been able to open it but that he has a theory-- and looks like he was right to come all this way to find her, bc only she can open it. Possibly even only the two of them together, but it's unclear if that’s the case. Also ok I really need to know, did he already know where she was, like Patterson had figured it out or something, but he'd just been giving her her space and had only come now that the others had been taken? Or did he only just find out now? In which case that’s pretty damn lucky timing... I mean I bet Patterson had been looking for her this whole time, so...? But anyhow there's a random metal disk thing inside the box, and it's only when Weller touches it with her that it shows a reflected image of her bird tattoo. And then because he's a smart boy, Weller lines it up with her bird tattoo and presses it against her skin, and suddenly Jane lights up like some kind of bioluminescent christmas tree. Surprise-- there's a whole new layer of tattoos to discover, with a whole new set of clues hidden within. Which is completely whack, but undoubtedly something among all that will lead to saving the others-- which means it’s something Weller can't do without her. And well, Jane, in the eternal wisdom of Smashmouth: you'll never know if you don't go, and you'll never shine if you don't glow...

And so that’s it. It's over. Another season, another cliffhanger that will haunt us for months-- and like last year, the question is 'Will Jane and Kurt ever be able to come back to one another?’ (Spoiler alert: the answer is yes. They will always come back to each other. Let’s just hope it doesn’t take a whole damn season this time....) But anyhow, thank you so much to everyone who has read these and liked/commented/sent me messages-- I've loved sharing these with you guys, and I'm glad you've loved them too. So cheers, and see you all next season :P

#Blindspot #Blindspot recap #Jeller #*unintelligible screaming*

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ts-seychelles · 6 years ago

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EP. 11 - “I Was Able To Dodge That Bullet” - VILMA

I literally look like the biggest boo boo the fool right now. Like I’m so cocky and stupid and tumblr survivor makes me want to eat glass

https://youtu.be/GAe_c8bHBjc

Okay honestly, after that tribal, I feel fucking awesome, and so many people still have no idea what happened First off, Jared I am so sorry that you believed my PMs during Tribal that I thought I had the votes to get out Nicole.. I knew one of you would play something, and I high key would not be surprised if Nicole ended up actually having another big ticket advantage sitting in her pocket from ghost island, but im going to wait on that concept for now until i see something from them. Maybe we can flush another advantage out of their pockets? lmao I am protecting Jared's role in this for as long as I possibly can, and Roxy's too. I had Dan hammering me for who told about the plan, and then ofc Alex wanted to know too, but he can eat a dick for all I care (in the context of the game of course.... love him to death as a person), and I'm just not going to tell anyone. I want Jared to maintain all the relationships he has on a 100% trust basis, so that way if he feels like he's gotta tell me something, he's going to be able to have that information I had to fill Regan in, and I know she is still 100% on my side because she is being VERY open about who she wants out after what happened this round. Dan? I really really want to trust him again, and I think I cut a huge tie of his removing Ricky from the game, and now I have to give him a little bit of what he wants.. I want to pick his brain and really see his top choice of who he wants to go this round, and I am going to try to help him be successful in that move, so that he can trust me. I really want him to say that he wants to go for someone, and for me to 100% support him on it. It's going to be one of the biggest leaps hopefully, in his eyes, that I trust him again and I've got his back.. As for Asya, who was another one who I was surprised about.. She doesn't know that I know yet, that she spilled our alliance to Ricky, and that Ricky dished that information back to Dan, and THAT is another reason as to why Dan didn't trust me, so I'm keeping my eye on that for now, but I really just want Asya to trust me also. I knew I needed Asya and Dan back on my side the MOST after this entire debocle, and by getting rid of Ricky, which cuts off both of their ties with a strong player, I draw them closer to me, and them seeing me as one of their bigger options. The best thing with Asya too is that we had a legitimately genuine conversation about how we could get closer and we should open up more about our personal lives and not even get to know each other on a game level, just because this is our second game going deep together, and I want to get to know her y'know!!! I think my position is definitely a million times better than it was before tribal, but I'm definitely not out of the weeds yet. Dan and Asya seem to be back and genuine with me, and I know Jared isn't going to just save me one round, and then take me out the following round. It'd be foolish, so i think I've got that relationship too, along with my strong allegiances with the people I've already been working with, knew about every facet of that move, and still trust me (i.e. Augusto, Roxy, Vilma, Regan). I know that my chances of making it to the end are getting smaller and smaller because what I did to protect myself, and HOW I pulled the move off really impressed my closest allies, and I know the gold medal is a lot more appealing when there's 6-7 people left in the game than loyalties, so I know my chances are already shot, especially because the only people I think would actually want me to go to the end with them are Augusto and Vilma, and even then is a bit of a stretch, so now it's just a game of how deep I can get and how well I can play off everything that's just happened....... As for my next move? Literally chop Alex's head off with a machete until he's into a million pieces, cooked in the shitty ass pot we've been using for 34 days, and then be gone :) 1. Telling me at tribal that we weren't going to rocks LIVE to try to get me to change my idol play was a MOOD. Alex is dead ass one of the worst liars ever, and if you know you can't let things come out of your mouth and be 100% confident you're being convincing with what you're saying, then leave it over text.. like lol 2. Looking like his dog fucking died when I played my idol was priceless, but also extremely telling of how badly he wanted me out 3. Lying to me the entire day and not telling me about the vote...... bitch bye 4. Saying "ha ha" when I said "final two my ass" when the votes were being read 5. RE ENFORCING THE F2 WE HAD FOUR DAYS BEFORE THIS TRIBAL COUNCIL HAPPENED...... literally such an lol So yea. I think I have more. I definitely would have to go back in my host chat, but in the realm of the game, everything Alex has done has made me want nothing more than for him to go, and the best thing about this entire concept is that I think there are people on "the other side" who would not mind voting out Alex either because his social game kinda sucks and he's a liability to keep around because he is the entire reason the Dan blindside got blown up, and I know Jared was pissed about that.. The reasons are too good, but now it's just if I can pull it off. At the end of the day, I'm on cloud nine after that last tribal, and it's time to go to work to see if I can make a thing or two more go my way.. I'm just trying to survive as long as I can and continue to have fun playing the game, bc tbh, I'm having a fucking blast right now lmao

(A LITTLE LATER)

THIS IS ALSO ANOTHER REALLY FUNNY MOOD BIG PRO OF RICKY GOING HOME WAS THAT I DIDN'T HAVE REGAN COME BACK TO RICKY SAYING "oh yea johnny said in the main chat that you wanted me out by accident" BC I DID DO THAT, BUT NOW RICKY ISN'T HERE TO TELL THE TALE Hopefully Regan isn't mad at me and finds out about it at some point, but Ricky said he didn't even pick up on it when I said it the first time lmao oops? Ready for this auction tomorrow!!!!!!

I stan trying our best to win things in the auction, only to win absolutely nothing. I am laughing so hard haha my life Is falling apart, I can't even get an idol, Nicole goes to Ghost Island. I am literally shook. It's not really bad for my game? And I feel like I'm good at Touchy Subjects? Idk, I'm just hoping I make single digits. As far as my game goes, I'm gonna try to be super social this round and make up some time. I want to get back with Johnny and Augusto and really form a bond with them again because I feel kinda bad about the last round, but also not at the same time?? dflkjdaslkfdj idk? I feel like this game is picking up and I really like where I'm sitting.

that auction sucked

https://youtu.be/vrhmDKxdB7w

I forgot to make a confessional again. Anyways, so the true tea is I have no clue what is going on in this game at this point. I’m pretty sure I’m the weakest competitor here? Which is fun because nobody will go for me heh heh heh heh, and this round they can’t anyway because I am on GHOSF ISLAND! It’s very lonely here and Isaac has not yet let me play the game but it’d be super cute if I got something else that I could will to Jared because I think he might be in trouble this round. We are going to hang out with Johnny today in person and I CANT talk about the game with either of them which is a blessing because I feel like it’s all they would talk about with me. Anyways I think everyone knows....I’m not giving my 100% effort to this game right now. But once I tackle this depression and my hair grows out and I lose ten pounds and get my ghost island game and get an idol and idol out Johnny even though he’s immune and Johnny drags Vilma and Dan out with him so I don’t have to ever vote Dan out, it’s over for your bitches. Straight up.

https://youtu.be/3rwZpqAyoUE

This round should be interesting? I kinda feel good? But I’m not entirely sure obviously. I feel like I have no other play but be with Augusto, Johnny, and Vilma. I feel like I could get closer to Jared, but I’m tired of playing the middle. I feel like I’m doing okay for not even doing well in any of these challenges. I’m trying not to be too much of a comp threat this game. I love my edgic being INV this round probably bc I’m not doing shit

I think my name has been completely worked out of the discussion for this round. I hope that's accurate, if not... good on everyone. Now I just have an important game altering decision to make. Augusto or Alex? Well, it turns out Regan might be idoling Augusto? Which is good I guess, but if Alex plays an idol too, THEN WHAT. So I could throw my vote on Dan, with the potential of it going to a tied vote. If I got rocked out because of that?? Never forgiving myself. I don't know what I'm going to do quite yet, but I have less than 40 mins to figure it out. The other thing is that I could be getting votes and look like an even bigger idiot for making this confessional. Oof. Okay let's take a look-see at the numbers. Johnny, Augusto, Roxy, *Regan- Alex Alex, Asya, Dan, Vilma- Augusto * = unsure. I could weaken Dan tremendously here by taking out Alex, but I'm also taking out someone who I've been loyal to the whole time. I have built a lot of trust with Johnny by leaking last rounds vote, and I literally met him and Ryan from Mykonos with Nicole today in Times Square. And then Disney Amanda and Steffen showed up. Iconic? I am partial to testing Johnny's trust, but, I don't really trust him at all. I really really trust Roxy though, which could be a huge mistake. I see her and Asya as frontrunners at this point. Anyways this is getting rambling but this game is a MESS and I feel like a sapphire-idoly boii Tune into tribal, it could very well be a good one folks.

Aaaaalright last round was such an emotional rollercoaster I had to skip confessionals to avoid having to cringe at them afterwards. Here's a recap: Earlier I was told rumors that Johnny had been talking around telling several people that Dan and I wanted to vote Nicole out, which I don't ever recall telling to anybody so when I heard about the rumors I was obviously suuuper confused. Days went by and I had heard from multiple different people that Johnny was the one to start those rumors but I remained suspicious, because I couldn't really see a good enough motive for Johnny to do that. People kept telling me that he has a tendency of wanting to play the puppet master and wanting to shake things up and cause drama between people. I didn't want to believe it but since nobody ever came forward to deny the rumors I decided to keep my eye on him. Next tribal I heard Johnny was getting targeted, and originally I was trying to see if there was any way I could save him from going home, but I knew Dan was unhappy with the Johnny rumors and would likely flip to take him out, so I decided it would be smart of me to go along with the majority and sacrifice him. I also saw him as a big threat, so even though I genuinely like him, I didn't think it would have been a horrible thing from my perspective if he went home. But a little over an hour before tribal Johnny comes forward to tell me that he has an idol! Plus he asked me permission to pretend it was the idol I found from Takamaka. I WAS SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOK because I ended up somehow unwillingly positioned in the middle of this whole mess and whatever I decided to do I would end up backstabbing someone and making them angry. I was having a major breakdown in my host chat but let's not talk about that. Then Johnny asked me to actually vote HIM so people wouldn't suspect we were working together....... O-M-G. That plan sounded perfect; I wouldn't have to backstab anyone and I would have a chance to get out of a shitty situation without too much blood on my hands. Johnny tried to make me change my vote to Nicole last minute but I refused and voted Johnny anyways to keep on everyone's good side, whoops. I was also pretty happy Johnny decided to idol Ricky out, since I never talked to him too much and he was close to Dan and Asya, who I hope will now more likely rely on my help if they ever need extra numbers to make a move. After the vote I tried to clear things up with Dan, Asya and Johnny and I think nobody is too angry at me anymore which is nice. I was afraid I'd end up in the middle of a huge drama and I'd like to consider myself a drama-free person so phew I'm so happy I was able to dodge that bullet. Okay this confessional is already super long I think I'm writing a separate one about this round see you soon HEHE.

I’ll make a more in depth one soon but some people are trying it tonight and like... where has this trying energy been all game (@Alex) because it jumped out all of a sudden! If I do go home tonight, I think I’ve played a solid game thus far and had a pretty good experience as people such as Johnny, Vilma, Regan, Dan, Roxy, and even Jared sometimes have been awesome to me and made things fun! ❤️

okay uhm confessional time i----- I won immunity, which was awesome. The killer touchy subjects strategy of putting what you think the majority is going to say both times came in CLUTCH In terms of the touchy subjects answers? nothing really surprises me. being predicted to be voted out next just makes the most sense since seven people just voted for me.. so I understand why i got that one. I should've put myself too tbh, but I think I got the more intuitive ones correct, so that made me feel kinda good Tonight's tribal? I'm praying Alex goes home.. The kid still hasn't come to me about voting for me, after swearing up down left and right a f2 with me, and I find it kinda shookening, especially since his name is going around tonight, and I'm genuine when I say that if he just approached me, I probably wouldn't have been so hellbent on wanting him out, but oh well.. i hope he goes I know Augusto is getting the other bulk of the votes? I'm not SUPER sure who is voting where.. i've heard dan is being a dickhead again and he might go for augusto. I know Regan might be playing her idol on Augusto at tribal, which would be #dramaaaaaaaaaa and I really hope that this is alex or asya maybe playing a vote steal to get the numbers on their side, because then regan would LEGITIMATELY have to play the idol.. oh well, we'll see. she said she'd play it on him also in other news, I hungout with Jared and Nicole IRL, and because we RESPECT the game that's going on, when we were walking around the city, I spent a lot of time talking to Jared about today's vote and how arbitrary it's been for us to be on opposite sides, and guaranteeing that if we joined together that there'd be nothing stopping us, and then he offered me a 100% f3 with him, that we'd try to get to the end of the game together. I am 100% planning on accepting it with the intended purpose of keeping it true. I just hope that it isn't one of those things where he's like "oh yea we're not going to vote you" but then votes out all of my closest allies instead and im stuck in the game getting dragged to finals via jared's strategic play, but honestly, I believe the man. He seemed very genuine, and if he isn't being genuine, then he's a snake and it is what it is anywhom.. praying augusto stays and nothing bad happens to him. alex going would be best for my game, especially because I just think he deserves what's coming to him after how last round went with him and I, and the excuses he made for breaking our f2

I trust no one but Johnny fuck everyone. Fuck wasting my idol. But I have to Jared and Johnny both told me to play it so he res to that

#itsgametimekids

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chaos-and-recover · 7 years ago

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you know what, just do all the fuckin music asks. ALL OF THEM

ALL OF THEM.

LIKE I HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO

(I don’t)

1: name 11 bands you listen to regularly

AFI

Anberlin

The Rocket Summer

July Talk

Take That

Lucky Boys Confusion

Jimmy Eat World

The Gaslight Anthem

Paramore, lately, I guess

Dreamcar

Blaqk Audio

2: is there a band with only one song you like?

I really never got SUPER into Underoath beyond A Boy Brushed Red... but MAN that song goes hard

3: what is a very unpopular band you're into? tell a little bit about them

Unpopular as in no one knows who they are, or unpopular as in... they’re kind of a joke and no one takes them seriously/admits to liking them? The former would be July Talk, who are my darlings and one of the best live bands I’ve ever seen. The chemistry between the two singers is UNREAL. They’re like... indie rock but sometimes kinda bluesy? Also they’re all my faves, their guitarist spends 90% of his time on twitter retweeting people talking shit about them and their drummer is the purest ever and just uses Instagram for his birding photography, I love him. The latter, a band no one admits to like/no one takes seriously/are pretty much a fucking meme are the Plain White T’s but LISTEN!!!!! I’ve been listening to them since 2002, they are so much more than Hey There Delilah, they’re my boys and I love them.

4: name a great band you recently discovered

I’m kinda really big on Creeper right now. Go listen to Misery. Do it. I’ll wait.

5: which rare recording of any band would you like to possess?

I don’t know if it like, actually counts/if there are recordings in existence but listen there are songs written BY Fall Out Boy FOR One Direction that were considered “too weird” for them and I’ve never needed to hear any specific songs more in my life.

6: is there an artist whose solo career you prefer over their work with their band(s)?

I prefer Justin Timberlake to N Sync because those battle lines were drawn when I was 12 years old and I chose BSB. I OBVIOUSLY made the right choice but man, solo JT is the shit.

7: which is you favourite side project by any band member?

Blaqk Audio. But I also really like Brian Fallon’s solo album but I think that’s just... his project now, I don’t think Gaslight Anthem is a thing anymore.

8: which song do you think should everybody listen to at least once in their lives?

Hear me out -- it’s the Neverending Story theme song by Limahl. I FUCKING LOVE THE NEVERENDING STORY MORE THAN MOST THINGS. (also the New Found Glory cover is A+++)

9: explain why your favourite song is your favourite song

I don’t really know what my favourite song is, like, of all time. As a kid it was probably Forever Young by Alphaville and I can’t really explain why except that instrumental bit at the end is amazing (also ask @sinceubeenjon about how I feel about the One Direction cover because... I love it. I’m not ashamed). My favourite like... not-embarrassing song is probably “Falling Slowly” because I also love the shit out of Once, and it’s like 7 years later and I’m still obsessed with it winning the Oscar over three Disney songs, it’s the greatest underdog story of all time. And I’m in love with Glen Hansard.

10: any bands you got into after seeing them live?

So okay my love of the Plain White T’s (which started after I saw them open for Jimmy Eat World, so there’s one) meant that for a LONG time I was seeing them open for other bands or as part of really weird lineups and because of them I got into The Rocket Summer, Lucky Boys Confusion and, recently, Set It Off. I also got into Anberlin in 2003 when they opened a show I went to and they went on to be one of the most important bands in the world to me (and then ruined my life by leaving me forever in 2014 but IT’S FINE I’M FINE)

11: any bands your friends got you into?

I guess I can count Jacques who got me into Creeper lmao. Also in high school my friend Shannon fell in love with the first Taking Back Sunday album and gave copies to EVERYBODY, so there’s that one, and I fucking love that album (kiiiiiinda fallen off them lately but damn that was a good record.)

12: a band which is the only band from their genre you like?

I don’t regularly listen to all that much hip hop but I adore clipping. so I guess they count.

13: an unpopular opinion on which is your favourite song by any band?

Listen, all you former emo kids are dead wrong about MCR, Welcome To The Black Parade is not their best song, it’s obviously Headfirst for Halos or You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Prison or Helena like... anything off Three Cheers. Also like as recently as last week I was thinking about a band where the die-hard fans all pretend to hate their most popular song and wanted to say we can all admit it’s fucking great, let’s not be too cool for it but I CAN’T REMEMBER WHAT BAND OR SONG THAT WAS ANYMORE. I REMEMBERED WHO IT WAS IT WAS JIMMY EAT WORLD AND THE SONG WAS THE MIDDLE. FUCK Y’ALL THAT’S A GREAT DAMN SONG.

14: _th favourite song by your _th favourite band?

This one needs more direction I think I need a number to answer with?? It also seems like it would require a LOT of thought.

15: _th favourite album by your _th favourite band?

SEE ABOVE.

16: favourite album artwork?

MxPx - Life In General. I’ll fight you on this. I love that album cover. Although Glassjaw - Worship & Tribute had a bad ass minimalist design too.

17: favourite booklet design?

It doesn’t feel like this should be my real answer but I both love and hate what Anberlin did with Lowborn, from the cover variants (I have all of them and they’re framed with a signed one in the middle because I am GARBAGE) and the band photo on the back of it with like an obituary type layout. It hurts my soul but I like it too.

18: favourite concept album?

Showbread’s Anorexia & Nervosa albums were INCREDIBLE but then everyone hated them because no one likes when bands take risks for some reason??? and it made them bitter as hell and they called everyone out on their next album lmao I miss them. Also Boys Night Out’s Trainwreck was really good and someone made it into a stage show I want to see so badly.

19: which bands would you like to see live one day?

I think I’ve actually gotten to see almost every band I would ever want to but there are a handful of boybands I never got to see because they never made it over here that I’d like to. A1 and 5ive mostly. I don’t care. I’d go hard for them.

20: which was the longest concert you ever attended?

Like in terms of a single artist’s set fucking Eric Church played for three and a half goddamn hours on his last tour. C’mon man I don’t have that kind of energy. Good show though.

21: a musician whose music you enjoy but whom you dislike as a person or vice versa?

So uh... Stephen Christian from Anberlin SORT OF falls into this because obviously I love him??? and I love Anberlin and I love Anchor & Braille but MY DUDE I cannot do the worship album he just released. Can’t. Sorry. Not for me.

Also, there used to be the concept of “Good Guys Bad Band” thrown around the scene a lot, and I very strongly associate it with Simple Plan because it SEEMS LIKE THEY GOT HIT WITH IT A LOT and honestly? Those guys are/were the best. I can’t really speak to it now but like 15 years ago when they were starting out, they were rad as hell. SUPER nice, SUPER friendly, just really good dudes. But their music. Bruh. Same thing with Marians Trench, actually, Josh was just THE BEST but holy shiiiiiit they suck. (I’ve heard he’s kind of a dick now and that disappoints me)

22: list 10 favourite songs by your top 10 bands (each)

Like, 10 songs each by 10 bands? WE’RE GONNA BE HERE ALL NIGHT.

Songs won’t actually be in top 10 order but:

AFI:

Narrative of Soul Against Soul

This Time Imperfect

Malleus Maleficarum

Days of the Phoenix

Veronica Sawyer Smokes

Wester

Darling, I Want To Destroy You

Kill Caustic

The Great Disappointment

A Deep Slow Panic

Anberlin:

The Unwinding Cable Car

The Haunting

The Runaways

Atonement (lmao I will never not cry listening to it though)

Alexithymia

Autobahn

Miserabile Visu (Ex Malo Bonum)

God, Drugs & Sex

Time & Confusion

Uncanny

The Rocket Summer:

200,000

Skies So Blue

This Is Me

Brat Pack

White Fireworks

Do You Feel

Colors

So, In This Hour

The Rescuing Type

Mean Thoughts & Cheap Shots

Jimmy Eat World

If You Don’t, Don’t

Kill

Work

Big Casino

The End Is Beautiful

The Middle

A Praise Chorus

Futures

For Me This Is Heaven

The Gaslight Anthem

The ‘59 Sound

Great Expectations

Handwritten

Boxer

Here’s Looking At You, Kid

Blue Dahlia

Mulholland Drive

Rollin’ and Tumblin’

We Came To Dance

Take That

When We Were Young

Back For Good

Pray

Wooden Boat

Hold Up A Light

How Did it Come To This

The Flood

Eight Letters

Said it All

MxPx

The Next Big Thing

Move To Bremerton

Responsibility

Chick Magnet

Andrea

I’m Ok, You’re Ok

My Life Story

My Mom Still Cleans My Room

Party, My House, Be There

Punk Rawk Show

Tiger Army

Never Die

FTW

Incorporeal

Cupid’s Victim

Annabelle Lee

Ghost Tigers Rise

Wander Alone

Forever Fades Away

Prisoner Of The Night

Twenty Flight Rock (ok it’s a cover IT’S FUCKING AWESOME THOUGH

July Talk

The Garden

Gentleman

Uninvited

Summer Dress

Strange Habit

Lola + Joseph

Johnny + Mary

Having You Around

Now I Know

Touch

36 Crazyfists

Bloodwork

At The End of August

Slit Wrist Theory

I’ll Go Until My Heart Stops

Destroy The Map

Skin & Atmosphere

Absent Are The Saints

Time & Trauma

11.24.11

Song For The Fishermen

23: favourite singer (only for voice?) and favourite drummer/guitarist/bassist (only for playing their instrument)

Singer: Adam Lambert has a stellar voice and I will, as usual, fight anyone about that.

Drummer: Adam Carson was way better than early AFI deserved tbh, and honestly Travis Barker has always been better than every single band he’s ever been in.

Bassist: Mike Herrera is lowkey the love of my life soooooo

Guitarist: I CAN’T DECIDE SO I’M JUST GONNA SAY IT’S JADE PUGET.

24: favourite songwriter/lyric writer

Davey Havok & Stephen Christian are two of a very short list of people who have written words I have planned (but not GOTTEN AROUND TO) to tattoo on my body forever, so.

25: somebody you absolutely adore as both a musician and a person

MY DARLING BALL OF HAPPINESS BRYCE AVARY AKA THE ROCKET SUMMER. THE LIGHT OF MY LIFE. A LITERAL RAY OF SUNSHINE. I L O V E HIM.

I mean. I just think he’s neat.

#music asks #ALL OF THEM #nikkihorrorxx

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anticipatingevaporation · 8 years ago

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my attempt at watching the oscar movies: 2017

So for the last couple of years I’ve eagerly watched each Oscar ceremony, all the commentaries, discussions of winners and nominees without actually seeing any of the films.

This year I decided that needed to change, I took it upon myself to watch all the films nominated for Best Picture, Director, Animated Feature and all the acting categories.

I’ve hesitated to watch Oscar movies in the past because I find that the “Oscar-y” movies tend to be very…inaccessible. They are usually slow burners, filled with long shots of just a person staring into the distance and very little plot. For a viewer like me who just isn’t very accustomed to “sophisticated” movies, understanding and appreciating them isn’t easy.

I’m putting all that aside this year and giving the Oscar movies a shot; I’d like to actually have an opinion during the ceremony this year. So here we go! (be prepared, this post is absurdly long) Also note these were written in the order I watched the films, (with the exception of Zootopia) I reviewed each one after I finished watching it.

Manchester By the Sea:

So I had heard about how much of a downer this film was before watching it, but evidently I was not prepared just how sad it was. There’s one sequence in particular that just, I had this awful ugly feeling inside whilst watching it. It was deeply unsettling. And I mean that in the best way possible, whenever a movie can evoke such strong emotions, it’s a great sign. Having said that, I think this movie, as a whole was quite good, but not incredible. I do watch very few movies, so my standards are very high. I found this to be a very good movie, but I don’t think it was breaking any ground. It was well executed, but in my opinion, not Best Picture worthy. (I’m saying this without having seen any of the other nominees, so let’s hope I don’t have to retract this statement) Casey Affleck has been getting tons of love for his performance in this film. I’m not going to comment on the harassment scandal he’s going through because tbh, I’m here to discuss his performance not his personal life. All I am going to say is that if I was going to boycott all the movies starring or made by people who had questionable pasts, I’d be left with very little to watch. I think Affleck did a really good job in this movie (although I was so shocked by how much he sounds like Ben Affleck) I liked how subdued his acting was and how he managed to make me feel bad for his character despite how awkward and cold he is. A good performance, but not necessarily Oscar worthy in my opinion, Michelle Williams also does a good job here, she has one scene in particular that really impressed. But the real highlight of the movie for me was Lucas Hedges, I’m so glad he was nominated for Best Supporting Actor because he has been for the most part left out of the other major awards ceremonies. I’m particularly impressed with his talent considering he’s pretty much my age. His performance felt so real, he seemed to be at such ease behind the camera, it didn’t seem like he was acting, my personal favourite performance in the film. As far as the direction goes, I was at first confused by, but ended up really appreciating the way this story was told- constantly alternating between past and present, often perfectly accentuating the drama, really driving the emotions home. I did find some of the music choices to be a little odd at times and although I didn’t, I can see people having issues with pacing in this film, but overall, a well directed and well acted family drama that is very emotionally impactful.

Also, I totally thought this movie was set in Manchester, ENGLAND, the constant snow did not help, I had to Google it halfway through the movie to clarify. (for those of you who were wondering, there’s a town in Massachusetts USA called Manchester-by-the-Sea, the more you know)

Moonlight:

So I really, really liked this movie. It’s a coming of age story about a boy named Chiron, following his life in three stages, childhood, teenage years and as an adult. The three acts have a different actor playing Chiron and each one was really brilliant. The first two acts in particular, my eyes were glued to the screen. Chiron is one of the most poignant characters put to screen, he wore his heart on his sleeve, and especially in the first two acts, I could see every emotion he felt in his eyes, his body language, his manner of speaking. Chiron just came across so raw, and it just shows the director Barry Jenkins’ and the actors’ immense skill. Movies like this (Oscar type movies with little plot and a real focus on characters) can tend to drag, but I was just so invested in Chiron’s story that I couldn’t get enough of the movie. The pacing was really brilliant, and the use of colour in the film was beautiful. It had a really artful feel to it, as if each shot was well thought out and intricately crafted. I’m not too great at identifying good directing, (I’m working on it) but I think Barry Jenkins did wonderful work here, this movie is very well written, but it could so easily have fallen apart without the correct direction. I still have 3 more contenders to watch, but right now, Jenkins is my favourite to win Best Director.

With regards to performances, I have to applaud Alex Hibbert and Ashton Sanders, portraying Child and Teen Chiron respectively, they gave brilliant performances, I was entranced by their performances. I had a little more trouble with adult Chiron because he was more hardened by his circumstances and therefore more difficult to relate to, but by the end I was captured by Trevante Rhodes’ performance. Mahershala Ali, who has been nominated for Best Supporting Actor was really great, despite his part being small, he was effective. Naomie Harris, nominated for Best Supporting Actress, was also very good here, both giving subtle and impactful performances. I was also glad to see a movie with a total black cast that didn’t resort to clichés. It really captured the feeling of the environment it was set in. And it felt real, the themes were subtly explored, nothing felt over the top, it’s just overall a really great film, definitely deserving of the recognition it’s getting.

(also I really like the poster for the movie, it’s so awesome...can we award that please?)

Hell or High Water:

So this was probably the Best Picture nominee I was looking forward to the

least

. I just didn’t see much appeal in a bunch of white guys in country Texas; I knew the movie was about…banks? Or something, and let’s just say I wasn’t very enthused. I had a feeling Jeff Bridges was going to mumble his way through this movie and I wasn’t going to be very interested at all, I mean Chris Pine is nice to look at, but that wasn’t really enough to excite me for this one. So I figured I’d just get it over with and it would end up being my least favourite of the bunch. And as I watched this movie, I discovered I was right. Hell or High Water is by no means a bad movie; it just didn’t intrigue me at all. The plot didn’t feel innovative and the performances, whilst good, weren’t enough to elevate the material. As expected, Jeff Bridges was mumble-y (I’m glad I downloaded subtitles), there were interesting aspects and I did like the characters, but nothing really blew me away.

But somewhere in the third act, things changed. The movie itself didn’t actually change, but the film subtly turned from drama to thriller. And I was super invested. The performances became top notch; I really cared about all of the characters and found myself on the edge of my seat, and actually gasping when certain events occurred. All three of the leads, Ben Foster, Jeff Bridges and Chris Pine, did an excellent job at making me care about their characters, regardless of whether or not they were actually in the right. I was rooting for all of them, and found myself genuinely upset when tragedy struck. Whilst Jeff Bridges started off as a mumbling country guy I couldn’t care less about, by the end, I was engaged in his character, he definitely deserves his Best Supporting Actor nomination, and I think Pine and Foster also deserved some recognition for their work here. What this film really excels in doing is using small slow moments in the first two acts of this film to make us care about these characters, and the best part is, you don’t even realise it’s doing so. I personally found myself a little bored in the earlier parts of the film, but when the plot intensifies at the end, I realised those slow moments were worth it, because the action at the end wasn’t action for the sake of action (which I loathe) every bullet shot had emotion behind it, my eyes were glued to the screen by the end. I found myself thinking, “I’m really glad I saw this movie” as the credits rolled. Which is an achievement considering how little interest I had going in. Is the film Best Picture worthy? Perhaps not, but I’m glad it’s nominated, any film good enough to overcome my stubbornness is a deserving nominee in my eyes.

Hidden Figures:

So I have a weakness for actors of colour, female actors in particular, being a female of colour myself. I was very excited to see this movie, I really like the three main actresses and was interested to see a part of history that has been more or less hidden (aha I’m funny) until now. I mean, when I think of the space race, I think of Neil Armstrong and “one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind” I do not think of black people at all, let alone black women. So I’m really glad this movie was made, if anything to further educate and enlighten us about the stories less told that need to be heard.

Despite the fact that this film is based on three black women, (a double minority, some would say) I would say this is probably the most accessible of all the nominees. In that the film is very familiar, you’ve seen this kind of movie before, these themes and tropes have been discussed and displayed on many occasion. At times, this movie can come across as clichéd, there are a lot of plot aspects that feel predictable and obvious. This isn’t necessarily a fault in the film, but I think that in trying to widen the appeal of the film, subtlety was lost and the writing became at times heavy-handed. The themes were explicit and at times far too overt. I guess in a Best Picture nominee, I was looking for a little more sophistication, this movie felt a bit too easy, for lack of a better word, there was little to no risk taken, the film more often than not resorted to somewhat overused clichés. The film never ventures into “dark” territory, whilst the situation the characters find themselves in is frustrating, the viewer is never made to feel more than mildly irritated on their behalf. And whilst some may say it’s good thing there are more movies starring black characters that aren’t total downers, I guess I enjoy a little more drama and emotional weight in the movies I watch. Having said that, this is still an entertaining, feel good movie. What I most enjoyed was the performances, these actresses had excellent chemistry together, their group scenes were some of my favourites in the movie. Taraji P. Henson and Octavia Spencer were very good here, but for me the standout was Janelle Monáe, she was my favourite performer of the three. She gives a really brilliant speech about the importance of being first; it was very well done, not over the top at all. As much as I enjoyed Spencer in this film, I do feel perhaps Monáe deserved a Best Supporting Actress nomination. I know it may sound like I’m bashing on this movie, but I enjoyed it for what it was, and I am glad this kind of movie exists and it’s getting awards and box office recognition. It does speak to the power of perseverance and how despite your race, religion or gender, if you are genuinely talented at something, you will be rewarded. Talent speaks louder than anything else, and I love that this film showcased that. It also presented intriguing perspectives on black people through the supporting cast made up of Kevin Conroy, Sheldon Cooper Jim Parsons and Kirsten Dunst. I also loved the small detail that all the white men working in NASA wore identical plain white shirts, so when Taraji P. Henson’s character comes in to work with them, the difference between them is that much more stark. It was a perfect, subtle touch that I felt worth mentioning. Another quick mention for Mahershala Ali, this guy has a talent for making a big impression from the smallest of roles. He didn’t do anything revolutionary here, but the man has a certain charm; I really enjoyed his performance. All in all, this movie doesn’t really break new ground, but it is worth your time, it leaves you feeling extra motivated, with a smile on your face. (I’m actually smiling as I write this… which probably would look super weird if someone saw me…anyways, Hidden Figures!)

Fences:

So word on the street was this film is very hard to get through, due to the fact that it is just a collection of long conversations between people. And considering it has been adapted from a play, that would make sense. However, I was not concerned in the slightest, in fact I was excited. I’ve said it time and again, I choose dialogues over action any day; well written and delivered dialogue is a form of action in my opinion, and my favourite kind for that matter. However, I was not prepared for the sheer volume of dialogue in this film. The movie opens with two characters conversing, and does not let up for a good twenty minutes. There are very few actual pauses between dialogues, it is unrelenting- you can tell this film was adapted from a play. It pretty much is a play, in cinematic form. That being said, when I got used to the fact that this is just how these characters communicate, there is real merit to be found in this film. You do have to pay close attention though, because the dialogues do move very fast, if you aren’t fully focused you will miss important points. But I am delighted that I stuck with this movie, because there were some brilliant moments here. The dialogues and scenarios felt so real, the way these characters conversed reminded me of conversations I had heard and participated in. There’s this grittiness the movie possesses, it doesn’t feel polished and Hollywood-ised, the fact that the film is set almost exclusively in a backyard provides a sense of claustrophobia that just adds to that feeling of realism. Whilst others have commented on the fact that this film feels too much like a play as a detriment to the film, I feel it was a positive; after initial wariness I really enjoyed it. It is difficult to get through and I don’t think has very high replay-ability, but the emotions it evokes are totally worth it. Speaking of reasons to watch this movie, we must discuss the performances. For a film like this, so reliant on dialogues to make it work, good acting is crucial. And both Denzel Washington and Viola Davis do incredible work in this movie. I’ve never seen Washington act before (insert obligatory gasp) but he was so compelling, I could see people I knew in his performance, it was just perfect, I actually found myself rewinding a couple of times to re-watch and marvel at his awesome delivery, totally worthy nominee. And Viola Davis, just….there are no words, give her the Oscar already. She was amazing in this role, I guess some could argue that this movie was a bit “act-y” in that the actors had a lot of long speeches where they raise their voices, therefore implying that the acting in Fences is a little less subtle than other films. I didn’t think that at all, yes Davis and Washington had long speeches and opportunities to “act” in this movie, but none of it felt forced or fake, it was shockingly real. Davis really moved me in this one and if she doesn’t win Best Supporting Actress I will be genuinely annoyed (but who am I kidding, she’s got this one in the bag!) So whilst Fences isn’t the easiest movie to watch, if you are an appreciator of good dialogue and drama and are a patient viewer, I think you’ll find something to appreciate in this film. I don’t think it’s necessarily Best Picture worthy, but it was an experience that stayed with me after the final scene.

Lion:

So this movie ruined me… I was quite emotional during this one. And that is in huge part due to the brilliant, brilliant performance of young Saroo. Sunny Pawar was so great that I couldn’t go two sentences into this review without mentioning him. Throughout entire first act where he pretty much carries the film on his shoulders, he is so captivating that you can’t take your eyes off him. Aside from being awfully cute, he’s an excellent performer, I dare you to watch him and not have your heart wrenched. I knew the basic plot of this movie, a young Indian boy gets lost and ends up being adopted by an Australian couple, as a grown man he ends up using Google Earth to find his family again. But I thought young Saroo would be onscreen for maybe 10 minutes, I did not expect almost half of the film to rely on this 8 year old boy’s performance. It was a move that could have ruined the film, but Pawar is just so compelling that it actually elevates the film and I think is responsible for much of its success. The strength of the first half is what sustains the film through the not as well crafted latter half. Whilst the Saroo’s separation from his family is tragic and filled with dramatic tension, his search for his family is comparatively lacklustre. Now I have been a long time fan of Dev Patel (I actually didn’t love him in Slumdog Millionaire, it was Skins where I grew to adore him) I’ve been following his career for a while now and I couldn’t be happier that he’s nominated for Best Supporting Actor, especially considering how rare it is for actors in his position to get the opportunities he’s getting. And can I just say he looked so good in this movie like…. That hair/beard combo is really working for him ;). Anyways, despite how much of a Dev Patel fan I am and how much I love Rooney Mara and how cute they looked together and Nicole Kidman’s performance, the second act of this film just lacks the focus and strength the first act did. The film slows down and some unnecessary side plots were added that didn’t add to the story overall. The writing could have also been tightened up a little, the material present is enough to make a really gripping emotional drama, and I couldn’t help but feel with a little tightening up and some better writing and dialogues, this film could have been phenomenal. But the film does pick up at the end, I never cry in movies but I found my eyes getting watery. The small clip at the end of the real life person who inspired this film just made it all the more emotional. And the explanation of why the movie is called Lion is just…*clutches heart and sighs*. The film also discusses adoption in a way I haven’t really seen before. It made me think about both the children and the adoptive parents and consider their perspectives in a new light. Patel and Kidman give good performances worthy of their respective Supporting Actor and Actress nominations (however having completed the Supporting Actress category, I’d have to say Nicole Kidman is my least favourite performer in this category). I think they work best when together, you really buy that these two are a family, there is a depth to their interactions; their relationship is very well done.

Is it a perfect movie? No, but I think it’s a really heart-warming, beautiful film, I would recommend you give it a watch, if anything for Pawar’s marvellous work. (also Nawazuddin Siddiqui was in this movie, yay!)

Hacksaw Ridge:

So if I didn’t already love Andrew Garfield before this movie, I’m head over heels for him now. The character he portrays in this film, based on the true story of Desmond Doss, is nothing short of a true hero. And Garfield’s performance is my favourite (so far) of all the Best Actor Nominees; he does a great job of portraying this incredible man without making him feel holier-than-thou or nauseatingly good to the extent where we can’t relate to him. As I said earlier with regards to Casey Affleck, I’m not here to comment on an actor’s (or in this case, director’s) personal life, I’m here to discuss their work. The same goes for Mel Gibson, I’ve read and heard about his past controversies, but I’m putting all that aside in this review. This is my first Mel Gibson film and I have heard they have quite a reputation for being excessively violent and gory. I am not the biggest action fan and I find myself zoning out during long action scenes that don’t have much emotion or drama driving them. The action and violence in this movie is intense and almost to the point of excess in certain instances. But I think it worked well in that it never glorified violence, if anything, it further emphasised Doss’ perspective that war is nothing but the world ripping itself apart and we could well do with someone helping to put it back together. What sets this movie apart from the countless other war movies out there is that it focuses on a man bent on saving lives who refuses to even touch a weapon, so whilst there are many shots of men getting shot down, the truly epic, heroic music in the background shots are the ones showing Doss rushing out to save his injured comrades. Gibson did a good job directing Hacksaw Ridge, one sequence in particular where Doss just stays up all night saving more and more people, it’s incredible to watch and so moving. I’ll also say that whilst the first act of the movie is a bit more romantic whilst the latter acts are heavily action oriented, it never felt too jarring, it just felt like the inevitable progression of the story. And I think quite often viewers end up caring more about one aspect of a film (usually the action) than the personal or romantic plot, I found myself equally interested in both so props to the direction.

Also special mention to Vince Vaughn who does a great job here, delivering a dramatic performance with comedic elements that I really enjoyed. Also Teresa Palmer as Dorothy, Doss’ wife was just so sweet and beautiful and I loved their relationship so much! This is a truly remarkable story that I’m so glad got told, I would never have heard about Desmond Doss if not for this film. Sure the film could be improved upon, the writing I feel could be better, but I think it was still a worthy Best Picture Nominee. It speaks to standing up for what you believe in despite the difficulties you may face. It really touched me, I ended up loving it a lot more than I expected.

Arrival:

So I think it’s safe to say I was cautiously optimistic going into this movie. I am a big fan of films that make you think, in fact, Inception is one of my top 5 favourite films. So I’m not opposed to thought provoking pieces of cinema, however I am not very good with films that just totally confuse me and require much deliberation and theorising to make any sense out of. (The recent TV drama Westworld being a good example, whilst enjoyable, it just messed with my head way too much.) Having heard that Arrival was a mind-boggling sci-fi I was concerned that it would raise too many questions and leave them unanswered, thereby leaving me really frustrated. However, I had only read and heard really good things about the movie, as well as director Dennis Villeneuve’s previous films, and what’s not to like about Amy Adams and Jeremy Renner? So I gave Arrival a shot.

And I’m glad I did, this film is a gorgeous, intriguing and thrilling piece of work. I found myself on the edge of my seat throughout, I didn’t even notice the time fly by as the film progressed and I eagerly tried to put the pieces of the puzzle together. I wouldn’t call myself the biggest sci-fi fan, I appreciate it in small doses, but I can’t say I’ve watched a bunch of alien invasion movies as the subject matter doesn’t really appeal to me. But I simply loved the way the “aliens” were portrayed in this film. I’ve always taken issue with the fact that we simply assume that if aliens were to exist, they would be bipedal, speak English and more or less resemble humans with the exception of perhaps their skin colour. I find that to be irritatingly close-minded and self centred. For that reason I simply adore the approach taken towards the subject matter in this film. The aliens are just that, totally alien they don’t resemble us in any way, be it physical appearance or communication style. It’s just so brilliant to watch Amy Adams and Jeremy Renner’s characters attempt to decipher the aliens’ language. Being a lover of languages and writing myself, it was wonderful to see a movie focus on a linguist of all professions. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a film so centred on the idea of communication before; it’s such an intriguing and important stance to take. Whilst some of the world leaders’ position towards aliens was slightly clichéd, it highlighted the importance of our ability to communicate, both with the unknown and among ourselves. In fact, some of the most thrilling sequences in the film were watching Amy Adams’ character learn more about the language of the aliens. Which is wonderful, considering the amount of alien action flicks we have hurled at us that contain nothing but thoughtless loud explosions. When looking at this film from a visual perspective, it is nothing short of incredible. The one thing I thought throughout the movie was sophisticated, from the cinematography to the sound and editing, this film was very well polished and seamlessly put together. The alien writing looked impeccable, just so clean and crisp. The colours and camera angles were great stuff, very impressive.

Performance-wise, Amy Adams does a brilliant job in this film, I haven’t seen any of the best actress nominees yet but I believe she deserved to be among them, it’s a real shame she wasn’t recognised for her work here, because when you realise how complex the plot of this film is, her performance becomes all the more impressive. Jeremy Renner, who many are labelling as unimportant to the plot of the film, was a welcome addition in my opinion (but I’ve always had a weakness for Hawkeye, so maybe I’m not the greatest judge). Despite how concerned I was regarding the writing and plot of the film going in, I’m pleased to report Arrival was thought provoking in the best kind of way. Whilst the third act reveal is surprising it’s not out of left field. If you listen carefully, it’s actually alluded to from the first line of dialogue in the film. The more I think about Arrival and its twist after it ended, the more I love it, it’s just so clever and makes you want to go back and watch the film all over again. What’s brilliant about the film is that it isn’t so much about aliens as it is about humans, the alien invasion is but a lens used to examine us as a species. It’s more a drama than a sci-fi. The themes can be a little obvious at times but overall, it’s really enjoyable. The writing was very good here- the pieces all fitting together in a rewarding manner. However, of all the wonderful work done in Arrival, I think director Dennis

Villeneuve deserves the most credit; everything works so well because of his masterful work behind the camera. The performances, the editing, cinematography, sound and script all come together perfectly. He is most definitely deserving of his Best Director nomination and I would be glad to see him win. Arrival is a film I would recommend to pretty much anyone, the longer I think about it, the more I love it, it’s definitely one of my favourites among the Best Picture nominees. It’s a fascinating watch that will leave you thoroughly entertained and won’t quickly leave your mind after the end credits.

Nocturnal Animals:

So this movie had the craziest opening credits sequence I’ve ever seen and one of the most unsatisfying endings I’ve ever seen, but what goes on in-between is very intriguing. I have mixed thoughts regarding the film itself, but I won’t be discussing those here as I have (with the exception of one film) moved into my performance phase of reviews. The next few movies are ones that were only nominated in acting categories and therefore I will be focusing on the films’ performances. Nocturnal Animals features an array of actors doing some very fine work. I would recommend watching this film on the merit of the performances alone. Jake Gyllenhaal, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Michael Shannon and Amy Adams all deliver very good performances. Whilst I’ve heard suggestions that Adams should have been nominated for her work in this film, I personally prefer her performance in Arrival, if she were to get a nomination; I think that her work in that film is stronger. I am personally an Aaron Taylor-Johnson fan; ever since his performance as Quicksilver (one of my favourite comic book characters) I’ve had a bit of a crush on him. So it speaks to the strength of his performance in this film that I absolutely loathed him here, his portrayal of this awful guy is just brilliant, he pretty much loses himself in the role, worthy of a nomination in my opinion. Michael Shannon, the only nominee of the bunch, also delivers a very good performance, however my favourite performance of the film is undoubtedly Jake Gyllenhaal, who someone in the Academy must have a grudge against or something…this guy is being repeatedly snubbed! (I haven’t seen Nightcrawler but I’ve heard ravings about Gyllenhaal’s performance for which he wasn’t even nominated!) I think his performance in Nocturnal Animals is definitely worth a nomination. So whilst Shannon is good in this role, I would have given his slot to either Taylor-Johnson or Gyllenhaal who both did magnificent work in this strangely fascinating film.

Loving:

So when the nominations were announced, I don’t think there was one I was happier to see than Ruth Negga for Loving. I love when my unknown TV actors get recognition for their work. After seeing Ruth Negga in Misfits and Preacher and being a fan of hers, I couldn’t be prouder of her nomination for Best Actress. So I might be a little biased, but I truly believe her performance in this film is deserving of the nomination. What I liked about Negga in this film was she didn’t have any loud screaming and crying scenes, which are usually what the Academy looks for in nominations, they want to see “acting”. But Negga is very subdued in this film, she plays a very quiet, shy character however that doesn’t prevent us from seeing and understanding all the emotions she’s going through. So whilst she’s most likely not going to win, I think this nomination is a win for Ruth Negga. I’m so excited to see where her career goes from here.

Florence Foster Jenkins:

So I was expecting nothing going into this movie, after watching the trailer I had zero interest in the subject matter, but as Meryl Streep was nominated for Best Actress, I had to give Florence Foster Jenkins a go. I actually haven’t seen many Meryl Streep films, The Devil Wears Prada is the only one I can remember seeing, so whilst I had heard about her incredible talent as an actress, I had not witnessed it myself. But she is fabulous in this film; the singing sequences in particular are so great to watch. When you think about it, this is not an easy character to play; she can so easily come off as rich, snooty and full of herself. But Streep imbues the character with a likeability and vulnerability that make her difficult not to love. Streep does deliver a performance worthy of a nomination here, but I do perhaps feel that other actresses who have never won before may have benefitted more from the nomination. A special mention to Simon Helberg, who delivers my favourite performance in the film, I’ve never seen The Big Bang Theory but this guy is really charming and a gifted comic, I loved watching him perform.

Jackie:

So the majority of my knowledge regarding the Kennedy assassination comes from Mad Men and subsequent YouTube clips I looked up. I don’t know very much when it comes to American history, so I can’t speak to how accurate Natalie Portman’s portrayal of Jackie Kennedy was. What I can say is, the way she spoke was so irritating. I had a lot of trouble getting into this movie, I wasn’t interested going in and I was somehow less interested as it ended. Portman’s performance was good, but not incredible enough to make me enjoy a film I had little interest in already. She has some moments I enjoyed and at times I could really feel her grief, but overall it wasn’t a career-defining performance for her. As Portman has already won an Oscar it’s unlikely she’ll win again for this film. I guess I wasn’t the target audience for Jackie because I didn’t like it very much. Portman is gorgeous as usual but…the performance doesn’t really stand out for me in a film that didn’t capture my attention.

Elle:

So I actually learnt French in high school, I still speak it now and just went to France for the first time last month. However I don’t watch as many French films as I’d like, which is a real mistake because French films are just so awesome! Elle was a dark, twisted and intriguing film that kept me hooked the whole runtime. I didn’t realise till I re-watched the trailer for it but I’ve seen Isabelle Huppert in Amour back in 2012. She was so brilliant in this film, her character was so complex and morally ambiguous, a joy to watch. I have one nominee left to watch for Best Actress, but I would love for Huppert to win, characters like this don’t come along very often, (or maybe they do in French films, I should really watch more…) her performance was just so great. Being a fan of all things French this movie was right up my alley, Felicitations to Mme. Huppert, you were just so awesome! A Best Actress in my eyes, whether the Academy agrees or not is irrelevant.

Captain Fantastic:

So this was the movie I was least educated about going into, I had no clue as to the premise or plot of Captain Fantastic (apparently it has nothing to do with either Captain America or the Fantastic Four, so there’s that); I hadn’t even heard of Viggo Mortensen before. Suffice to say, I would never have seen this movie had it not been for this Oscar film project I have going. And it’s films like this that make me so glad I decided to do this. Captain Fantastic is a gem. I don’t think enjoyed myself so much whilst watching any of the other films on this list so far. Being bombarded with the same old Hollywood blockbusters, I hardly get a chance to watch offbeat films like this one, and usually when I do, they’re very unappealing and just too strange for my tastes. Captain Fantastic was delightfully unique, providing an intriguing premise I haven’t come across before. There were a couple of clichéd plot points in the latter half, but overall, I loved this movie! Viggo Mortensen delivers a wonderful performance, this role was brilliant stuff and he really grounds the film, providing an emotional centre. I would rank his performance highly among his contemporaries just due to the uniqueness of the role and his excellent handling of it. The numerous child actors were also spectacular. I really really loved this movie, I’m so glad it was nominated and I was therefore given a chance to watch a type of movie I’m not typically accustomed to seeing. And let’s just say, after a certain line in this film, I’ll think twice before using the word “interesting”.

The Red Turtle:

So we’ve officially (again, with the exception of one film) entered the animation phase of reviews. Animated films are probably my favourite genre of film, I grew up on the Disney Classics, as many people did, and many of my favourite films are animated. Like Captain Fantastic, I knew nothing about The Red Turtle before watching it, and like Captain Fantastic, I really liked this film. The Red Turtle is a gorgeous film; each frame is beautiful to look at. I didn’t realise how much I missed hand drawn animation until I saw this movie. Devoid of dialogue, this film is a piece of art. It’s a great contrast to the overstimulating, hyperactive animations that tend to monopolise the market. The Red Turtle shows how much can be said by saying nothing at all; the sound design is also brilliant. The story is a slow burner, but it’s very heartfelt and moving. This film probably isn’t for everyone; it is a bit more “artsy” than your typical animation. But if you’re a fan of the genre, and are a patient viewer, I think you’ll really enjoy this one. The animation alone is worth a watch. And kudos to the Academy for nominating non-flashy movies like this one, a very deserving nominee.

Moana:

So I’m a big Disney fan, I’ve loved their animated films since I was a child, and have followed them pretty much all my life. I was looking forward to Moana back when it was announced, the concept art looked beautiful and the idea sounded great. However, the more I heard about the film, the less enthused I became. By the time the trailer and release came, I had pretty much decided not to go see it. Moana just seemed far too familiar and not too exciting to me. There was nothing unique to draw me in, from the trailer alone I got a sense that I’d seen this film before. Nevertheless, the film was nominated for Best Animated Feature, so I went in with a (semi) open mind, hoping the film would surprise me. Unfortunately, it didn’t, at least not in that respect. Whilst Moana has some impressive elements worth praising, I found it to be a let down overall. We’re all familiar with the Disney Princess formula that has made Disney famous over the decades. Over the last few years, Disney has worked to revolutionise this trope, to add new twists and sneakily alter the formula whilst not veering too far from it. The Princess and the Frog, Tangled and Frozen all found ways to add a new perspective to the Disney Princess brand, and whilst none of these films are perfect, they all impressed me in different ways. Not so with Moana, after the credits rolled, I just felt disappointed with what could have been. Never before has the plot of a Disney film felt so derivative of other films to come before it. We’ve seen all of these plot points before, the sassy grandma, the princess who wants to explore and go out there, the father who keeps her from doing so, the forced third act conflict that separates the two leads. Every single thing that happens was so predictable; I could see it coming a mile away. And usually I don’t have an issue with this. Disney Princess movies, when you think about it, all follow a very similar structure and storyline, but the difference is, they all found a new way to tell an old story, they all added something to the formula. Moana does present certain unique elements, the Polynesian setting for one, however overall it doesn’t really add enough to the genre to set it apart. So whilst the plot was a major let down for me, that’s not to say the film is without merit. The animation is as we have come to expect from Disney, it’s spectacular, the ocean looks beautiful, and the scenery and the character designs are fantastic. Maui and Moana look great; I especially loved Maui’s tattoos and the way they helped progress the plot. Moana’s hair (read my bio, I’m a curly girl) is brilliant, I also liked the fact that she wasn’t a typical, stick figured princess. I really appreciated that this is probably the first princess that we’ve actually seen rule her people. Unlike other princesses who embark on their journeys for more selfish reasons, Moana is doing so not only because she loves adventure and the sea, but because she genuinely wants to help her subjects and save her island. The voice acting, from both the leads was very good. Dwayne Johnson adds a lot of charisma to his role and Auli’I Cravalho has a brilliant voice with a much character and heart, she has a bright future ahead of her. As previously mentioned, the Polynesian culture in this film was wonderful to see, it’s nice to see Disney broadening their horizons and presenting us with new characters of colour without seeming tokenistic. The presentation of this culture is only enhanced by the very good music done by Lin Manuel Miranda. I haven’t heard any of the Hamilton music, but the Moana soundtrack is quite good, the songs are catchy and grow on you, and what is a Disney film without a good soundtrack? The comedy was also good, although there wasn’t enough of it in my opinion.

Perhaps the fact that I’ve been steadily watching a list of offbeat awards contenders over the past few weeks has hardened my heart towards predictable blockbusters, causing me to be overly critical of this film. It’s a harmless time pass children will undoubtedly enjoy, but I personally found it to be passable. And given the setting, the animation and the music, I think Disney could have taken more risks with this film plot-wise, especially considering the fact that they also released Zootopia this year, a brilliant, edgier and altogether (in my opinion) better film. You win some you loose some I guess. So overall, this is an enjoyable film, however considering how imaginative and unique the other films in this category are, I’d be a little disappointed if Moana wins Best Animated Feature, it’s a bit of a boring choice, and I don’t think we should award safeness, I prefer a little edge to my animation.

Kubo and the Two Strings:

So I had heard many good things about this movie, and the production company behind it. Whilst I haven’t seen any other Laika films before this one, I’m very interested to see one now. Kubo and the Two Strings is a film to be applauded. As much as I enjoy and marvel at the beauty of CGI animation, there’s something to be said about stop-motion animation. This film is simply stunning, the animation is some of the best I’ve ever seen, it made each scene that much more enchanting to watch. The animators use stop-motion to their advantage in this film, each sequence is gorgeous. The end credits feature a clip showing the work that goes into creating one of the characters in this film, it just makes you respect and admire this film so much more. Another thing I loved about this film was just how imaginative it was. The world presented here is brimming with creativity and uniqueness, the mythos and lore in this world is also brilliant. The magic and its depiction is marvellous and a sight to behold. The voice work done by Matthew McConaughey and Charlize Theron to name a few is also very good. I also really liked Regina Spektor’s rendition of While My Guitar Gently Weeps, featured in the end credits. My one issue with the film is that at times there are faults with the story itself, especially by the third act. Whilst the setup is great and makes sense, there are lapses in logic towards the end of the film and at times I found myself wondering why things were happening, as they hadn’t been properly explained. If the script had been tweaked and fixed a little in the final act I think we could have a perfect film on our hands. Kubo and the Two Strings is a gorgeous, imaginative and enthralling adventure I adored watching. I would love to see this film win Best Animated Feature if it means we get to see more stop-motion films in the future. They’re definitely worth saving.

Ma Vie De Courgette:

So I used all the Internet skills at my disposal to make sure I caught this film before the Oscars after just missing out on it in cinemas in Switzerland last month. And I can say staying up looking for subtitles for this film was totally worth it, Ma Vie De Courgette cannot be missed- it’s a wonderful experience. After Kubo and the Two Strings, this is another stop-motion film I adored. I actually got the opportunity to see an exhibit dedicated to this film in a museum in Lyon in January; I saw real life models of the characters, storyboards, and some behind the scenes videos. As I said when reviewing Kubo and the Two Strings, there’s a certain level of artistry that can only be achieved with stop-motion animation, it makes the characters look more real, not to mention how impressive it is to think about the amount of effort and work that went into each little moment of the film. Animation aside, this film is a beautiful and moving one. The story is simple and takes its time to progress, but each second is filled with genuine emotion and heart. Each character is well realised and you end up feeling for all of them. The film is subtle and never resorts to clichés, there are plenty of beautiful, well written moments in this film that are emotionally provoking. This film is short, but sweet, a well-written masterpiece I would highly recommend.

Zootopia:

So of all the Oscar films, Zootopia is the only one I saw in cinemas when it released. Unlike Moana, this was a film I was semi-excited for when it was announced, but became very eager to see after seeing the trailer. It’s been almost a year now since I saw the film, so bear with me (aha, animal puns). Despite it being a while ago, I distinctly remember leaving the theatre with a huge grin after Zootopia. The film is a definite favourite of mine; I love movies that are “for children” but manage to convey mature themes that also cater to adults. This movie is wonderfully complex, whilst being evasively simple. The plot isn’t anything too new, but the way it deals with and explores themes that are highly relevant and important is something to be admired. The social message in this film is by no means obvious, it’s there, but you’re not being hit over the head with it. Sure, there are some obvious narrative clichés, the forced third act dilemma that separates the leads, the obvious bait and switch at the end. But none of that really matters to me when the subject matter is just so well thought out and executed. If you want to teach kids social issues in a delicate manner, this is the way to do it. The characters are brilliant, I love Nick Wilde; he’s my kind of guy… or fox I guess. The voice acting is also very good. Another thing I loved in this film was the comedy it’s just wonderful, so many great jokes that are genuinely well thought out, not easy slapstick comedy. This film is a triumph, an intelligent, well thought out piece of work that was far beyond my expectations. After I watched it I literally thought to myself, Best Animated Feature here we come! Any film with a Breaking Bad reference as brilliant as this one deserves an Oscar.

La La Land:

So I purposely left this film till last because if the Golden Globes are any indication, La La Land is going to sweep the Oscars. So I decided to give the other films a chance before I saw the awards juggernaut that is La La Land. This film is pretty much made for me, it has all of the things I love to see in film, it’s almost as if someone read my mind, saw my movie wish list and transferred it to cinema. Musical, check, Romance, check, Subject matter involves movie business, check, two attractive Hollywood leads, check. I was so excited going into this movie, especially considering the amount of good things I’d heard about it and the amount of awards it was picking up. So it really pains me to say that overall, I didn’t love this movie. That’s not to say it’s without merit, far from it, this is a very well made film with numerous elements worth praising. Firstly, the direction by Damien Chazelle, is for me the highlight of this film. It’s clear old Hollywood films, particularly musicals, have inspired him in the making of La La Land. And this film perfectly emulates that tone and style, from the editing, to the camerawork, Chazelle does a brilliant job at capturing the essence of a Hollywood musical and modernizing it to fit our current era. The costumes and use of colour in this film was beautiful to see. The performances, both by Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone, were very good. Playing a struggling actress, Stone flawlessly captures that heartache that comes with being rejected time and again and having to somehow bounce back and keep trying. The sadness in her eyes is palpable when an audition, once again, goes badly. And her feelings of self-doubt and questioning of her talent are genuine emotions I think anyone can relate to. Gosling is excellent, playing an obsessed piano player who is unable to let go of his dream and simply settle until; he too, has moments of doubt and realizes he may have to do just that. I loved just how passionate he was about Jazz, he brilliantly conveyed his frustration with just being mediocre and letting his talent go to waste. Again, something many of us can relate to. Not to mention Gosling’s incredible work on the Piano, I simply cannot believe he learnt to play like that in a matter of months, I learnt Piano for years and am nowhere near that good.

I also appreciated the comedic moments in this film, both Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling are very skilled comedians, so it was great so see their talents utilised here.

The music, by Justin Hurwitz, was also very good, I particularly liked City of Stars, and Ryan Gosling sings quite well for a non-professional, Emma Stone isn’t as good, but she can carry a tune, so I won’t complain too much.

Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve been obsessed with movies, (I think the fact that I wrote thousands of words that very few people will ever read just to talk about movies should be enough of an indicator as to how much I love films) Like the characters in La La Land, I am a dreamer, being involved in the moviemaking process is, as Stone’s character puts it, a pipe dream of mine. Therefore, there were moments in this film that really touched me; I was fully connected with the characters, understanding exactly how they felt. However, it’s the moments between these moments where the film lost me. With regards to the writing in this film, I was very hot and cold. My real issue is with the development of Mia and Sebastian’s relationship, it just came across as very choppy, as if there were some moments that were missing. I think I needed more time spent on developing their relationship for me to buy it. Whilst Gosling and Stone have good chemistry, too often it felt like events were just happening instead of character motivations causing them to. What somewhat saved the movie for me was the ending, those final 20 minutes or so were at first agitating, but then as I thought about it, truly profound and brilliant. Chazelle does a great job at combining the bright joyful tone of a musical with the true struggle and pain that comes along with following your dreams. When you think about it, if the film had ended any other way, it wouldn’t have felt genuine. So whilst La La Land is very good and deserving of much of the recognition it’s getting, it wasn’t the all time favourite of mine I thought it would be. There are a couple of issues with the writing that just don’t sit well with me. Perhaps I’ll like it more after a re-watch, but for now, I can’t say I love it as much as some of the other Best Picture Nominees. I will say, the title and it’s dual meaning is brilliant and I love it, so there’s that.

So now, I’ll just do a quick summary of each category, with 1. Who I Would Give it To aka WIWGIT and 2. Who Will Probably Take it = WWPTI

Best Picture:

WIWGIT: Arrival or Moonlight. I loved watching Arrival, it was the most enjoyable of the nominees for me. But I recognise that Moonlight is a wonderfully made film that I would be glad to see win.

WWPTI: La La Land

Best Director:

WIWGIT: Barry Jenkins for Moonlight or Dennis Villeneuve for Arrival Pretty much the same as my Best Picture picks, they both did fantastic work WWPTI: Damien Chazelle for La La Land I wouldn’t be too fussed if Chazelle won, he did a great job directing La La Land, and his previous film Whiplash, is one of my favourites, so I’d say he deserves it. I will say, I’d like to see a split between Director and Picture; I hope the same film doesn’t take both. There are enough Oscars to go round!

Best Actor:

WIWGIT: VIggo Mortensen for Captain Fantastic

Such a unique film and performance. As much as I love my boi Andrew Garfield, I’d love to see a performance and film like this recognised

WWPTI: Casey Affleck for Manchester by the Sea. As much traction as Denzel Washington is getting for Fences, he’s already won two Oscars, I’d be very surprised if he won a third.

Best Actress:

WIWGIT: Isabelle Huppert for Elle

For such a strange and edgy role, I would love to see Huppert take home the prize, you just don’t see actresses doing this kind of thing very often

WWPTI: Emma Stone for La La Land

I like Emma Stone, and it’s nice to see young actors given awards, it doesn’t happen too often. No qualms if Stone wins, but it’s a bit of a safer choice, in my opinion.

Best Supporting Actor:

WIWGIT: SUNNY PAWAR IN LION come on guys! Ok but seriously, I really liked Lucas Hedges’ work in Manchester by the Sea, but I think Mahershala Ali’s performance in Moonlight is superior and more deserving, I would like to see him win.

WWPTI: Mahershala Ali in Moonlight I think this is Ali’s year, and he has proven himself beyond his work in Moonlight to be a talented and Oscar-worthy actor.

Best Supporting Actress:

WIWGIT: Viola Davis in Fences She was a powerhouse in this film, and it’s about time she won an Oscar. WWPTI: Viola Davis in Fences If she doesn’t win I will be shocked with a capital S. Don’t make her 0 for 3, Academy.

Best Animated Feature:

WIWGIT: Ma Vie De Courgette

I know this film won’t win but I would

love

for it to. It’s pretty much perfect in my eyes. And I would love to see a smaller studio take home the Animation prize for a change

WWPTI: Zootopia

I have no issues with this, I loved this film and it should and most likely will win.

Congratulations on getting this far, as hard as this was for you to read, it was 10x harder for me to write! (actually that is a lie, I quite enjoy writing…)

That was my attempt at watching the Oscar movies. This was an exhausting fortnight or so, but I’m so glad I did it. I might even do it again next year. I will be eagerly watching (or reading updates on my phone) the ceremony tomorrow to see if my predictions are right or if there are some exciting upsets!

Also quick shout out to @dolores-wyatt I was actually inspired by her to do these type of Oscar Reviews, go check out her blog, it’s great stuff And to my one (and only) fan @requiemforatuesday, thanks for reading everything I put out, I’ll see you at my book signing, you’ll be the only one there but that’s ok

Now, back to my regularly scheduled endless TV shows……

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