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tired-college-student-writing · 5 years ago

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If you're into Black Butler, maybe something with that and Miraculous ladybug? Or Black Butler with Demon Bim? I just think you'd do a good job with the Black Butler characters.

Oh boy! I just finished rewatching Black Butler actually! I had forgotten how much I loved the show. So here’s a bit of Miraculous Ladybug/Black Butler :D

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Marinette was different.

Her family tried to keep her oddities to themselves when they could as the few that found out had branded their daughter as a freak, making the usually sweet girl’s icy glare freeze their very souls before they would leave and never talk to her again.

When she was born her parents were shocked to see she not only had a sapphire blue eye, but her right was a transfixing purple as well. The doctors had said they should fade into more usual shades as she aged but they never did. Heterochromia they called it, when the eyes were different colors due to a mutation in how the melanin concentration in the eyes, but it was nothing to worry about and about 1% of the population had heterochromia in one form or another. It didn’t stop Marinette from showing a clear disdain for anyone looking at her purple eye.

By two she was speaking in full English sentences which would have just been advanced for her age if they ever spoke anything, but French and Mandarin around her. But it wasn’t just English no, she could perfectly speak French, Latin, and German with little effort on her part. Never truly understanding why people would look at her strangely when such a small girl would be able to use five-syllable English words in normal conversation.

When she was five her parents saw the first major mood shift. Chloe Bourgeois, the little terror, had been placed in the same class as Marinette. The girls were at odds from day one, but three months into the school year Chloe had tripped little Nino and almost landed him right into traffic. The sunny little girl had flipped in an instance, ripping into the other girl with the ferocity of a black mamba, controlled strikes verbally reducing the bully into shocked and fearful tears as she tore into everything from the girls clothes and hairs to her parents failing marriage and her father’s inability to fulfill his the campaign promises. She had then turned to Nino who was watching with wide shocked eyes and melted back to the soft caring girl she normally was, fussing over him and basically ordering him to come to her house so her mom could check over his scraped knee. It was months before Chloe said anything negative in front of Marinette for fear of the same attack, only it didn’t come, just earning a scowl and the usual banter that the blonde had come to expect from the baker’s daughter. It seemed there was a line for how far Marinette was willing to let Chloe go, and the blonde was careful never to toe that line.

When she turned six her hatred of others seeing her right eye had reached its peak as she continued to make makeshift eyepatches out of anything she could get her hands on. Finally, her mother had taken her to the ophthalmologist to get colored contacts, to hide the purple hue. The ophthalmologist hadn’t wanted to give her contacts until her face had faded from the bright smile into a blank mask and she ran through the care and instructions that she had already known on contacts. The doctor decided to just hand them over after that. A blue contact for one eye and a clear one for the other with the prescription that fixed her lacking depth prediction. A single icy glare that nearly bordered on the one she gave Chloe many moons ago stopped any of the students in her class from commenting on her now same colored eyes.

At eight her parents noticed her new ‘friend’. A raven that seemed to have made a nest on her balcony, well maybe not a raven if the blood-red eyes had anything to do with it, but the lack of white tips on its wings ruled out anything else other than a hybrid. They decided it better not to ask why this raven had roosted there as Marinette grew oddly attached to it quickly, though it was an odd bond they shared. Marinette could often be heard talking to the raven in English as if conversing with it, but gone was her normally cheerful demeanor, instead she would snark and ridicule the raven as if it was an unruly child. In turn, the raven would caw, peck at her and swat her with its wings. At the same time, however, they undeniably cared for each other. Marinette always made sure that the nest was warm and dry, though she never offered food to it, simply taunting the pastries in front of it with a remark about how they tasted so much better than ash.

The raven took great care to bring trinkets back to the girl, expensive items it had no way of getting, jewelry, sets of high-end buttons, the finest threads, rich untouched chocolates, once they even found an entire bolt of new fabric on the balcony. If it wasn’t for the cameras they had installed after that event they would have feared someone was visiting their little girl, but the raven was the only visitor to the balcony. Marinette was smart however, knowing where the holes in the camera's view were before they had been there for two months. She had been offended that they thought she would accept presents from strange humans. They relented that they trusted her and that she was a bright young girl but kept the cameras up.

They asked her about her comments of ash and she didn’t remember ever saying anything like that.

They asked her the raven’s name and she got a far off look in her eyes before she came back and said she doesn’t remember.

Tikki appeared when she was thirteen and the little goddess almost recoiled in horror at the dark twisted magic radiating off of the girl chosen to be her holder. Demonic energy, nauseating to see this close around a soul so pure. The book being swung at her and high pitched screech was the only thing that convinced Tikki there hadn’t been a mistake. The magic was too intertwined with her soul for it to be a new development, for her to have sold her soul in this lifetime. No this was a deal that never got sealed, never allowed for the demon to consume her soul. It didn’t take her long to locate the raven on the balcony. They came to an agreement of mutual distance, realizing they were both here for the same reason to be here, to keep Marinette safe.

During the Akuma battles where the heroes’ win is a close call, and her miraculous cure is stretched to the limits from bringing back countless lives, there was often a flash of red in the corner of her eye, simply waiting off in the distance to see if she could pull off the save once more. Sometimes it would be replaced by a silent black figure or a golden blur, but they were always there. Simply waiting, watching. The raven always seemed more ruffled on the days the red was around.

It wasn’t until near her 14th birthday did an Akuma come along with the power of fire, did something change. The Akuma was tall and black as night, swift and dancing like the flames they created, willing to kill and burn all of Paris down with them. Cheated on, backstabbed and burned, the woman wanted all of Paris to feel the pain her ex-girlfriend had made her feel. Each human that burned turned into its own flame beast, with the single-minded

They had been chasing the victim through the streets when they rounded the corner. The bakery was engulfed in flames, inky black smoke billowing from the windows. She felt her heart leap into her throat. Her head screamed at her to run, they were coming for him, how her parents were dead, he wasn’t safe. Why was he out of the manor on her own anyway? He needed to get back, the servants would keep him safe. He needed to find-

Her mind snapped back into place as she realized the implications of her thoughts. Of his memories.

“Are you alright?” The voice in front of her made her register the black figure in front of her, Chat Noir. Her knight. It seems as if she has one every lifetime.

“Yes,” She said firmly, pulling away, “But I think it’s about time we got some assistance.”

“Need to go get a miraculous?” He asked, knocking some advancing flame beasts back with his staff.

She shook her head taking a step back as he kept her safe and tossed her yoyo as high as she could, no miraculous would help now. This victim was nothing short of a demon, and to fight a demon…

“Lucky Charm!” She shouted, catching the item and began pulling out her contact before she even looked down at the red and black contact case, filled with contact solution.

“M’lady?”

“Chaton,” She said with firm determination, turning her two-toned eyes to him, “I’m going to do something that will seem very strange and might scare you but please trust me.”

His eyes were wide and tail lashing, but he didn’t hesitate to nod his head, never faltering in keeping the beasts away, “Of course, Bugaboo.”

“Don’t call me that,” She snapped, voice slipping into English, before turning her eyes to the burning remains of her rooftop, “Sebastian, get down here you bloody mongrel. Don’t make me order you.”

A large black blur flew from the nest she couldn’t make out anymore due to smoke, swooping high into the air before shifting in and gliding down, the once raven now kneeling in front of her, a cunning smirk pulling on the man’s lips, “Sorry for the wait mistress.”

He was exactly as he was before, silky black hair falling elegantly around his face, framing the burgundy eyes that burned into her as they did the day they had made the contract. The only thing that changed was his clothes, gone was the tailcoat, polished silver pocket watch and crisp white gloves of a victorian butler, replaced by a sleek black suit and white button-down, black nails on display along with the sealing mark on the back of his hand.

“Best to keep it, my lady, while I’m transformed. You couldn’t tell me the truth before, because…” She trailed off in question, eyebrow quirked.

“Memory restoration requires a strong emotional response that plays on memories of your first life, my lady,” the demon gave her an innocent look as he rose, “I didn’t think you would appreciate me burning down the bakery before Miss Tikki could repair it.”

“Sebastian,”

They turned to look at the cat who had frozen beside them, noting the thinness of his pupil.

“Chat,” Ladybug said slowly, “This is Sebastian, an old… friend of mine. He can help us.”

“I-” Chat suddenly leaped forward, staff striking out between Sebastian and Marinette to knock away the beast that had appeared there, darting between them to continue fighting.

His footwork had changed, becoming lighter than before as the ferocity grew.

“Of course,” He spat, accented English spilling out of his lips, “Of course Sebastian was never human! I should have guessed,”

“What?”

The green eyes were sharp as they turned to the stunned pair, “Are you going to help me, Sebastian? I’m guessing that’s why my lady called for you. I can’t believe I didn’t put it together before! No human could run the manor as you did, I heard stories of the impossible feats you pulled but never did I think, ugh I’m an idiot!”

Marinette couldn’t help but gape and she could see her butler’s eyebrows disappear into his hairline from the corner of her eye as she sputtered out, “Lizzie?!?”

The blond just glared at her as she batted another beast away, “Ceil, I love you dearly but we’re going to have a serious talk about keeping demonic secrets from your fiance. I don’t care if it was a lifetime or three ago, we’re going to talk once the fires are gone and Sabastian if you think for a second you’re getting out of it, you are strongly mistaken. Now let’s finish this.”

“Right,” Ladybug spoke slowly in French, “Head in the game Chat, yell at me later.”

He shook his head as if to clear it, before returning to their normal tongue, “Right, sorry Elizabeth’s memories hit me like a brick wall... It is nice to see you, Sebastian!”

“Likewise,” The demon hummed, tossing a flaming demon away.

The victim was easy to seduce with Sebastian at their side, the purple butterfly mask flared early on into the fight leaving the victim terrified as if Hawkmoth knew what Ladybug’s purple eye meant and what the man at their side was. Ending the battle was short work.

“Pound it!” The teens cheered only for Marinette to turn a sly eye at Sebastian, “You two, Sebastian.”

The demon raised a challenging brow, “Really now? How childish.”

“Exactly why I want you to do it,” The sugary sweet smile held a hint of cruelness in it, “You’ll feel like a fool doing it, now come here.”

The demon’s eye twitched but he raised his fist either way, “You haven’t changed at all.”

#black butler #kuroshitsuji #miraculous ladybug #marinette dupain cheng #ceil phantomhive #sebastian michaelis #Adrian agreste #elizabeth midford #reincarnated au

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mortallydeliciouschaos · 4 years ago

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Highlights of 2020

I was tagged by @maddiesup, thank you so much! I’m so glad you though of me! Quickly before it’s 00:00 where I live lol

list your top 10 shows (bl or not) you watched in 2020 (doesn’t necessarily have to be shows that came out in 2020 though!)

tag at least 10 people you appreciated this year

tag 10 more people to continue the tag

Let’s do this y’all!

Top 10 shows

1. #GayaSaPelikula (Like in the movies)

Ngl, it’s one of the best shows I’ve watched this year. The struggle of coming out and ofcourse the struggle of finding yourself was beautifully displayed. Also, Gav breaking down had me in tears, I compare to him in quite some aspects so it hit close to home. The music is amazing and I listen to the playlist almost daily. BUT THE QUOTES! The ending quotes, they are one of my favourite quotes ever.

TOP 3 QUOTES:

1. Let’s make room for those who’ve lost their sense of home.

2. You are entitled to a love that lets you dance without fear or shame.

3. You own the rights to your own truth.

I can’t wait for season two!

2. Where your eyes linger

It was the first Korean BL I watched and I’m sad that the full show was only 80 min in total! To be honest I wanted to see so much more of both of them and I’ll rewatch it so many times in 2021 too, I already know. The bestfriend but also master-servant dynamic and just all of them as a cast hold my heart. I hope to see many more good bl’s from Korea in 2021!

3. Cherry Magic

I kind of finished the year with Cherry Magic! And if that wasn’t an amazing ride! The characters, the setting the fact that it wasn’t just another teenager love story but actually a bit more mature. Also seeing ‘older’ characters still struggle with insecurities and anxiety is such a refreshing thing to view. This had made me much more excited for other Japanese BL’s that are still on my watching list! ALSO Kurosawa being a cutie and just wanting Adachi to be happy and Adachi trying to get out of his comfort zone it’s just- amazing. The show was truly magical. (I’d share my watching list but it’s 100+ shows so maybe some other time y’all)

4. TharnType: 7 years of love

I love the first season of TT a lot so I was low-key counting down the days until the second season came for all of us. (as a fan I of course do see the toxic parts but that’s also for maybe another post sometime, probably not lol) But I was excited to see how they unfold the rest of the show in 2021 and I love what we’ve had so far. I mean I do get annoyed quite a few (Fiat ngl) but the sweetness (and hotness, I mean who are we kidding) from Tharn and Type I love it a lot!! I can’t wait to rewatch it a million times when it’s finally ended. Can’t wait!

5. My Engineer

As much as I started watching for Bohn and Duen, I stayed for Ram and King. Their dynamic is amazing and even though they’re not the main couple they have way more depth to their relationship that I had expected there to be. I truly fell in love with King as a person (got so obsessed that I bought a bag similar to his). Ram doesn’t deserve the struggles he has to go through. I can’t wait to see how all of their stories (not only RamKing’s) will unfold in the new year. I hope so see so much more of all of their faces and I’ll keep an eye out for their other projects in this upcoming year.

6. Strong Woman Bong Soon

Not a BL but what a show, I actually started this show in 2019 once and a few minutes in I lost all attention and couldn’t find a motivation to continue watching but when I started this year the pilot had me wanting to know what would happen and I also didn’t expect to fall face first for our one and only In Kook-Doo (Ji Soo). If you haven’t watched it yet, I hope it will come on your watch list because it only took me 2 to 3 days to finish it because it’s so good. Do not start watching it if you have more important things to do (test, deadlines, etc) cuz you might not actually finish.

7. The Prince of Tennis

I watched it earlier this year and then rewatched it at the end of the year and I still loved it so much. I tend to like sport anime’s quite a bit, and this is actually a ‘live-action’ version of an anime and I fell in love with all of it. The characters, their quirks and all of their ‘powers’ and ‘moves’, I always go quicker through the show than I think and then it’s over so quickly :( Still, if you like sports anime (free, haikyuu, etc) check it out!

8. 2gether (& Still2gether)

2gether is the epitome of fluff and even though it holds a dash of angst and a lot of amazing character development. I had a smile on my face the most of the time I was watching this show. And Still2gether was one of the best surprises for me this year, extra episodes in the same year? More of my fluffly bois? My angry-I-stab-you-boi and puppy-boi facing challenges and overcoming them? The KISSES? Yes. I don’t have much to say other than, it was good and I do hope to see more of both Win and Bright, I hope as a couple in the show ngl, soon but I’ll support them either way. I wish them so much succes and love.

9. Ingredients

Ingredients was a show I saw quite a bit of on tumblr, and we all know, if your mutuals watch it, put it on you list! So it got on my list the beginning of 2020 but I actually started watching it more towards the end and I fell in love with both of the characters and all of the support characters too, I hope to see much more cuteness from both of them and I can’t wait for other episodes. Also why are the episodes only so short? I want more of my bois :D

10. I’m Tee, Me Too

Not a BL, but I love the characters and they are THE pillars of GMMTV so I had high hopes. And my hopes were met. A great show and even though the actors didn’t play the others romantic interest you could still see the amazing dynamic all of them had together. If you want to laugh (with a dash of angst for character development) then this is such a good show for you to watch!

People I appreciated this year!

so many people, I love you all so much! (sorry if I forget you :()

@the-speediest-boi @sarawatism @negrowhat @incorrect-tharntype @kindaanartblog @leeairisu @lovelysunshine96 @zaintseeme @cu-tine @mewsuppasit

Thank you guys for making this year amazing and bringing so much joy to me <3

It’s been floating around tumblr for awhile so consider yourself tagged if either I already tagged you as a person I appreciated or if you want to fill it in anyway!

HAPPY NEW YEAR! I hope all of you stay safe and healthy this new year! Let’s all work together so we can do much more later :) I love all of you and I hope all of your loved ones also stay safe <3

#iloveyou #y'all are the best #happy new year #tagggggg #hit me up if you want to talk about any show ;)

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heathers-wig · 4 years ago

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last kiss oneshot aka a sad heathers-wig making a duncney oneshot at 1AM and getting emotional over the duncney parallels because i’m THAT bitch

listen,,,,, i know. i have no shame. making duncney content in 2020? to old taylor swift songs? my pride has evaporated, so please td tumblr, have mercy.

also @ my few non-td mutuals and non-writer mutuals: do not judge me more than you already have please i’m begging.

available on ao3 here

I still remember the look on your face

Lit through the darkness at 1:58

The words that you whispered

For just us to know

You told me you loved me

So why did you go away?

A somber reflection of her own face stared back at Courtney as the brown eyed girl stared, saddened, outside one of the jet’s windows. The Jumbo-Jet had been flying for hours, to wherever the show’s next location was, and the rest of her team was fast asleep; even Cody, who was terrified of Sierra rubbing his feet at the dead of the night. Sierra herself had been worn out after hours of cutting out perfectly shaped pieces of paper of a Gwen silhouette and then destroying it — she had taken so much joy out of it, and had done it so flawlessly, that Courtney was sure it had become a routine over the few years Total Drama had been airing on TV. After today, Courtney would gladly join Sierra, if she wasn’t so busy making a list on how much of a back-stabbing, helio-phobic goth-loving liar that Gwen was.

God, Gwen; just the name made Courtney want to let out one of the most pathetic sobs that had ever been seen on television. She knew it was stupid, she honestly did, that she trusted Gwen — it wasn’t anything she said, or really anything that she did, that deemed Gwen as untrustworthy, it was more like the feeling of being unsettled that came after every time Duncan’s name would worm its way into the conversation, and the way Gwen had tensed and how the goth’s cheeks would become slightly pinker, yet her skin somehow paler; in hindsight, it was so dreadfully and painfully obvious that this would happen, and how inevitable it was that this sad, beautifully breathtaking destruction would crumble down on the fragments of happiness in Courtney’s life, but maybe that’s why Courtney and Gwen were drawn together in the first place. To prove the paparazzi wrong, or maybe because Courtney really believed that Gwen wouldn’t stoop as low and confirm the public’s suspicions. However, time had slowly gone by and Courtney learned the hard, cruel way that they were absolutely right.

Chef, who had never taken any sort of liking or pity on Courtney — except when she had sued Chris, he had begrudgingly admitted that he was impressed — had been nice (or cruel, Courtney couldn’t decide which one was more accurate,) enough to show the brunette the clip herself. Herself hugging Duncan (who she now nicknamed Dumbcan in her own mind — ugh, the jerk!) so lovingly after being separated for what felt like ages, and feeling her heart soar when he said he thought of her while he was gone —

— But that was all a lie. A lie that made Courtney feel secure in her deteriorating relationship, a lie that allowed Duncan an easy way out, a lie that filled Gwen’s stomach to the brim with fluttering butterflies. Courtney had to watch, with something that felt all too familiar to horror, as Duncan and Gwen embraced and slowly leaned towards each other, all while knowing and ignoring the brunette outside who was just so happy that she had her boyfriend back and someone she could call the closest to a best friend was still in the game with her. It was almost ironic how that ended. Almost.

Now, staring out the window, Courtney couldn’t help but wander how this could have possibly happened. Of course, she knew the actual answer; Gwen falling for Duncan after her public and awful breakup with Trent, and Duncan losing interest in her as Courtney thought more and more of their relationship as long-term versus until one of them had gotten a sudden sweep of common sense and dumped the other. Whenever Courtney had tried to construct the words in her head of what she would say to Duncan when she eventually had to actually face him, the thoughts that were so carefully balanced on the tip of her tongue would come tumbling back down to the pit of her stomach. Throwing a pity party and tantrum when breaking up with Duncan would be inevitable — she knew it, as much as she didn’t want to acknowledge it — but the feeling of dread she felt when looking back on their initial relationship was too much to bear.

It was ironic, wasn’t it, how she was the first to lean in, while Duncan had took the final lean out? And how he didn’t even have enough guts to breakup with her to begin with? Sure, it would definitely hurt, but she was almost positive that it would be nowhere near the amount of heartache she felt while watching that clip.

What killed her the most was that she could still remember the electric blue eyes of his that seemed to illuminate the darkness of night that day she rebelled, the very day she would now do anything to erase from history. The look of initial shock on his face when Courtney grabbed his face and smashed their lips together in one electrifying kiss... it was painful to remember such a time. If Courtney tried hard enough, she was sure she could hear the slight chatter of their friends behind them and the crickets around them and maybe even the humming of porch lights next to them. Possibly even pick up on the slight smell of cigarettes that followed Duncan everywhere (like his criminal record, as Courtney would snidely berate him, though those days were left to wither in the past), or unfortunately the resting puddle of vomit next to the porch.

“Enjoy a peanut butter-less life,” he had remarked, the words still ringing in Courtney’s head almost two years later.

“Thanks,” Courtney herself had quipped, leaning up against him. “Enjoy prison,”

“I will,” the juvenile smirked. It all felt like such a long time ago. Had it all meant nothing? Maybe it had been broadcasted around the world, but it was such a private and intimate moment between them that felt like it was for them and them alone — and yet he cheated? He turned around and kissed up her best friend with little to no remorse? Did it mean anything to him? She wasn’t sure she wanted the answer.

If it did, wouldn’t he had stayed? Wouldn’t he had wanted to talk things out, instead of hurting her in the worst way possible? Wouldn’t he have meant every ‘I love you,’ he said while they were still dating with no second thought? Did he even mean every ‘I love you’? Or were they just lies that tasted as sweet as honey on his tongue, that he spoon-fed to Courtney every now and then to keep her from leaving him.

She wasn’t sure what haunted her more; knowing that Duncan felt no regret for what he did or having a last kiss with no knowledge of its significance.

I do recall now

The smell of the rain

Fresh on the pavement

I ran off the plane

That July ninth

The beat of your heart

It jumps through your skin

I can still feel your arms

As odd as it felt, a few weeks have gone by since her nasty breakup with Duncan. She finally got to shove Gwen (who was swelling up from her allergic reaction at a concerning rate, but Courtney had no pity left for Gwen in her heart that the goth and Duncan were responsible for breaking) off of Chris’s jet, but to her disappointment it wasn’t nearly as satisfying as she hoped it would be. Sure, seeing Gwen’s falling figure struggle to open the parachute brought a smile to her face and earned a chuckle from Heather (and a maniacal laugh from Sierra), but it wasn’t enough. She wanted to personally shove Duncan off the plane herself, but she wouldn’t be as kind to him as she was with Gwen; she’d be taking the parachute right before she shoved the fatal push.

The feeling that came after Gwen’s elimination was hard to describe — of course, sheer joy immediately after, but after the cameras stopped rolling and Chris instructed them all to head to bed, panic took its place. Courtney knew she was a target from her fellow teammates — Heather probably wanted to chop all her hair off for flirting with her dear Alejandro; Courtney almost wished the two would get together and save Courtney the heartbreak she’d have to face that there was no one left for her. Duncan would of course crave Courtney’s elimination, and Alejandro and Sierra would probably agree to anything so as long as it wasn’t them, or Cody, in Sierra’s case. Just about everything seemed to be going her way, wasn’t it?

Courtney wasn’t even sure if she cared at this point. Should she? Of course, winning would be a great payment for everything she’s had to put up with on Total Drama, this season in particular, but at the same time, with Gwen officially out of the running, following her and going back home would feel even better.

Home. Courtney hadn’t been there in ages, and at this point she wasn’t sure what she considered home to be. There was the pristine mansion she was raised in by her lawyer parents, and while that place might have looked like the front of a magazine cover, it felt like an empty ghost of a home. Not a single thing was out of place — not a throw pillow or piece of silverware. Her parents were either always at work, travelling for a case, or holed up in their respective offices; there was rarely “family time”. Courtney was fine with this, though; that’s just how things were for the Castillo family.

There was Camp Wawanakwa, as evil and ironic as it was. For a few weeks, she lived with teenagers, not the reality stars they were now. When her friends from debate club sometimes dragged her to a rewatch of the first season, it was odd to see how different they were all back then, but at the same time, they really hadn’t changed at all. Though Courtney was unsure if she would ever step foot on that island ever again, it would always hold a place in her heart — good or bad? She hadn’t decided yet — for the beginning of whatever her life was now.

Her apartment was an option, as well. It wasn’t as much home as just the place she so happened to live in. No emotional attachment whatsoever; some boxes were still stacked in a spare coat closet, all neatly labeled in a thick Sharpie. It wasn’t that Courtney was disorganized or lazy, more like there was no use in unpacking all of her belongings in a temporary home. She moved out of her parents’ mansion as college crept closer and closer, and she hadn’t lived with her parents since last summer.

That summer felt alien at this point, looking at old photographs that were neatly organized on her cellphone. She remembered her family went on a month-long vacation in Europe, and Duncan had come to pick her up from the airport, much to her parents’ displeasure. The Castillos and Duncan did not get along, but tried to be civil for Courtney’s sake — they knew how much it could upset her when they were constantly at odds. Being civil was nowhere easy for either parties, but seeing Courtney’s happiness and hope that there was just maybe a hope that she and Duncan would be able to have a future together made it worth it.

However, seeing his arm around her waist with easy smiles on both of their lips made Courtney’s stomach lurch, just knowing what he would do a little more than a year later. It brought back too many memories that were painful to recall, and came all at once with no warning, much like a band-aid being harshly torn off the surface of a child’s knee.

That day it had been raining all afternoon, and there was still a slight drizzle and mist in the air when Courtney’s family had landed. Duncan was there, at the pickup area, with brunch for herself and her entire family from some local cafe — as much as he would deny it, deep down she just knew he was a sweetheart — and as soon as he could, he wrapped his arms around Courtney, which Courtney had gladly returned.

The smell of rose and cigarettes, a smell that had become the twisted combination of the aromas surrounding Courtney and Duncan, filled Courtney’s nose, and she couldn’t help but bask in how glorious it felt, to simply be embraced by Duncan. No bickering, no making out, just a simple sign of affection was all it took for Courtney to feel at peace. They were so close, she could’ve swore she could feel the faint beat of his heart underneath his t-shirt.

It was such a quick, and rather insignificant moment, of their relationship, that Courtney couldn’t figure out, for the life of her, why it stuck with her. Maybe because it was insignificant in the long run it was so cherishable to her — a quick, stolen moment of sweet nothings that was caught in the middle of the timeline of her rather messy and confusing relationship with Duncan.

Did Duncan still remember that July ninth? Probably not. Realistically, not. In fact, he was probably busy daydreaming making out with his new girlfriend in another all new spot on Gwen’s neck that made them feel something new that they never felt with Trent or Courtney. Not at all reminiscing on Courtney unwillingly falling in love with Duncan that July ninth in front of her parents, not at all remembering the imprint he left on her heart (though it did give her a sense of satisfaction that all Duncan could do was wish, as Courtney could gladly say she heard Gwen’s shrieks of terror as she plummeted towards the Earth at a rapid pace with a broken parachute).

Feeling a sudden chill in the air, Courtney runs her hands up and down her upper arms. As much as she hated him for it, she could still feel Duncan’s arms wrapping themselves around her, and she felt less colder.

She doubted Duncan remembered the smell of lingering rain on the pavement that July ninth, or the hand squeeze and smile she gave him, or her parents finally warming up to him when he remembered their favorite brunch meal.

She doubted he would even want to remember any of it.

But now I’ll go sit on the floor

Wearing your clothes

All that I know is

I don’t know how to be something you missed

Never thought we’d have a last kiss

Never imagined we’d end like this

Your name, forever the name on my lips

Courtney wasn’t sure what to feel; upset? Angered? Humiliated? Robbed of winning, yet again? Maybe even a little relieved? They were all emotions she had felt before on the previous times she had been eliminated from Total Drama, but considering the circumstances... Courtney decided a combination of all would be the most appropriate.

She was upset she allowed herself to cheat for Alejandro, who she was only really using to spite Duncan (not like Duncan had even batted an eye, which admittedly really stung), and she was fully aware Alejandro didn’t return her feelings, but God, she hadn’t felt any joy in what felt like ages, maybe she felt Alejandro would, what, reward her? All she got was a kiss after she freshened up, and it wasn’t even that good to begin with — too much tongue for her liking.

Duncan knew how to kiss me just right. Crossed her mind, but as soon as it surfaces, she shoves it far, far down.

And she was angry, so angry that she had allowed herself to be used and manipulated, on International TV no less! She looked like exactly what she was, and she did not like it in any way, whatsoever — weak. And with that, humiliation; being cheated on, blanked, used and then sent packing with that trashy, gossip-craving Blaineley of all people was such a huge hit to her pride, Courtney was unsure if her pride would ever be able to recover, even five years from now. God, that was pathetic, the thought of still being sensitive to her Total Drama World Tour experience as a full-on adult. Definition of embarrassing. Her ego was massively bruised, and had taken such a fall that Courtney was sure she would never allow herself to get close to anyone ever again. Was it selfish? Maybe. But a businesswoman has to do what she has to do to be successful and strong, and if that meant ghosting everyone and plunging herself into her work — so be it.

However... a small, incredibly fragile fraction of herself was so relieved. Of course, she wanted to win, to show to her ex-friend and boyfriend she was more than capable of destroying them, but she had already endured so much humiliation during that season that she felt her shoulders relax a little rather than tense up before she jumped off the plane. Though the cameras didn’t show it, Courtney found herself smiling like a lunatic — like Izzy, as she had now come to realize, not that she enjoyed acknowledging it one bit — as she dived off the jet, finally free from Chris, the cameras and most of all, Duncan.

But now that she was back at her bleak apartment, she realized that cruelly ironically enough that he was more present in her own dorm even when he was across the world, with no thought or emotion to spare in her direction. The couch reeked of him, where he had spent New Years’ Eve and where they ended up falling asleep at 4 in the morning; the coffee table underneath her bare fingers felt like him, where an engraving of D+C was proudly displayed on the corner; the fridge seemed to still have him traced all over it, where she and Duncan had a huge argument in front of before he had slipped out the words “I love you” for the first time, and even the coat racket was imprinted with Duncan, where one of his jackets still hung, firm from months of not being used. Though a part of her wanted to reach out for it and wrap it around herself for some source of comfort, Courtney knew she shouldn’t — she couldn’t. But...

It was ridiculous. A stupid, humiliating and reckless idea that would take the mere shreds left of her ego, dignity and pride and bury them six feet under. But right now, nobody would know... there was no paparazzi or roommate around to expose her, and she did feel awfully cold....

Grabbing the collar of the jacket, Courtney wrapped it around her shoulders and (shamefully, she couldn’t believe she was allowing her pride to stoop even lower than it already had) dashed in her pristine bedroom and immediately opened one of her drawers; Duncan’s drawer, which was filled with even more memories, both good and bad. To be fair, they were once all good, but now they left a sour sting on Courtney’s tongue. She tore through the drawer, before fixating on one item and pulling it out — one of Duncan’s many copies of his infamous skull t-shirt.

Without even meaning to, Courtney found herself crumbling like a piece of wet gingerbread. How pathetic are you? She mentally scolded herself, but at that moment she found herself realizing she simply didn’t care. After a lifetime of being as cold and emotionless as she could be, a boy of all things is what broke her down. After being rid of Total Drama — for now, Courtney had to remind herself — and the travel, the cameras and the clothes, and now just in her pajamas and dreadfully Duncan’s jacket, Courtney couldn’t help but unleash the full power of the sobs that had been building up in Courtney since the breakup.

How was she going to get past this? Would she always be remembered as the bitch that a criminal cheated on on TV? What about her future? Would this all affect her chances in office? How could her ego possibly come back from this? Most of all, how would she cope knowing that Duncan, the nuisance criminal she’s despised for around two or three years, was gone for good and was never, ever coming back, no matter how much Courtney craved for it?

Would Duncan even miss her? Would he ever, someday in the future, when things with Gwen were rocky? Would he remember Courtney, and think of her as something he missed? Was that even a title Courtney had the chance of claiming?

Courtney craved Duncan. She wanted his presence in her apartment, she wanted his arms around her, his lips pressed on her own; she hadn’t, didn’t and probably would never have wanted a last kiss, and knowing that they were as good as done with no chance of having another stolen kiss — it was too much. How could she have let them end like this?

“D... Duncan,” The name forces itself out of Courtney’s throat and through her lips, crumpling his shirt in her hands and bringing her knees to the ground, where she continues to sob. Tossing one more item from the drawer — the wooden skull, with D+C engraved on it, looking as new as it did years ago — she hurls it at the mirror in the corner of her room, its impact cracking the glass.

Maybe in the morning Courtney would care, but at that moment, all she wanted was to be comforted by the one person who couldn’t, wouldn’t and would never comfort her ever again. All she knew was that she would never stop craving Duncan, no matter who was by her side or made her smile and laugh and shower her with kisses — the whole time she would be wishing it was Duncan instead, sharing a kiss that would be far from their last.

I do remember

The swing in your step

The life of the party, you’re showing off again

And I roll my eyes and then

You pull me in

I’m not much for dancing

But for you I did

Because I love your handshake

Meetin’ my father

I love how you walk with your hands in your pockets

How you kissed me when I was in the middle of saying something

There’s not a day that I don’t miss those rude interruptions

Courtney despised the nights that followed post-World Tour elimination; they were filled with nightmares of happier times that mocked Courtney, nightmares that were dressed like perfect, safe and welcoming dreams. Nightmares that felt like incredible dreams at first, until Courtney woke up and remembered how alone she truly was.

That night it was a random, and rather insignificant, memory of a wild party that Duncan had dragged her to. It was hosted by the cousin of a friend of Geoff’s friend, and of course Geoff and Duncan insisted that Bridgette, Courtney and DJ to come with, as much as Courtney was opposed to the idea. Duncan always made impacts, for lack of better word, on the guests, that would usually result in him adding a hundred followers to his Instagram, starting a riot and Courtney having to bail him out of jail or being kicked out by the host; it was a gamble each time.

That night, Duncan had chosen to boast in front of a group of guests on all the laws he had broken and tattoos he had gotten — just Duncan’s usual load of shit.

Courtney had rolled her eyes and sneered in disgust — just Courtney’s typical reaction to said load of shit. “God, Duncan, those tattoos are disgusting, I don’t see how you put up with them,” She had scowled. Duncan shrugged and wrapped his arm around her, leaning into Courtney, intently watching her incredibly dark and hypnotizing (at least, they were to him) eyes widen in surprise.

“You’re just no fun,” Duncan lamely insulted, poking his tongue out at her and showcasing his tongue piercing that made Courtney’s nose scrunch up.

“I am plenty of fun!” Courtney snapped.

“Really? Prove it,” Duncan challenged, jerking his head toward the dance floor. Courtney gave him a withering glare that would have turned anyone else to a mere pile of dust, before gripping his wrist and dragging her with him, determined to prove him wrong. Unbeknownst to her, he was grinning like an enamored puppy behind her.

As a slow song came on, Courtney wrapped her arms around Duncan’s neck while her wrapped his around her waist as they slowly swayed around to the beat of the song. Just as Duncan dipped her down, and Courtney felt a glamorous sensation as they both leaned toward each other and —

— suddenly, Duncan impaled a hook through Courtney (that looked all too familiar to the one he had spooked her with a long time ago) that Courtney hadn’t even noticed he had, before dropping her on the dance floor, her white dress staining with red blood like wine, as everyone else continued dancing to the romantic melody, paying no glance to Courtney.

She felt light headed while her eyelids felt like three tons, and as she fell on her knees, hunched over from the wound, she couldn’t help but notice as her eyes began to flutter shut no one spared a glance at her way; not even Duncan, who was back with his friends, showcasing the book like it was a trophy. As Courtney knew she was breathing her last breath, Duncan glanced her way and gave a crooked smirk, his eyes flashing hot with satisfaction at her pain. The ocean blue in his eyes had become a ferocious storm.

Courtney had jarred awake, hot, sweaty, emotional and desperate with the time of 2:34 staring back at her from her alarm clock. Courtney sighed with relief upon the realization it was just another nightmare about her ex-boyfriend, one that was rather cheesy anyway — what she would give to not be haunted by him as she still was. Unfortunately, as much as she hated the fact, she knew he still roamed her consciousness, subconsciousness and unconsciousness because of the fact she still loved him, even after everything, and a fraction of that love would probably live on for years to come until Courtney was on her deathbed.

With that comforting thought, Courtney groaned and turned away from her clock and towards the wall, studying the plaster like her life depended on it; anything to get her away from the angry electric blue that followed her even when her eyes were sealed shut.

It was plain annoying how she knew that she still loved Duncan, no matter how many times she was forced to re-live the brutal truth that he no longer loved her whenever she came face-to-face with a tabloid at the checkout line when she would occasionally get groceries, or search his name on the Internet to see how he was coping; maybe Courtney couldn’t face the truth, couldn’t face that maybe she was no longer in love with Duncan but instead with the memories of him that were scattered about her life.

It felt odd going to her parents’ and not having to deal with her father staring Duncan down, and for Duncan to stare right back, passive-aggressively. Not to watch both men clench each other’s hands firmly while looking at the other dead in the eye when Courtney introduced them. Now whenever she went to her parents’, all she felt was the sore reminder that in the end, the Castillos were right — Duncan was nothing but trouble and pain in the end.

It was painful going to the mall without Duncan to lean on, or his hand to clutch as they would lazily walk around the shops. Or how Courtney no longer had to unfold each of Duncan’s clothes from being inside-out in the laundry or hand a mountain of objects found in Duncan’s pockets to him before stuffing his pants in the washer. Duncan used to (or maybe he still did, Courtney would have no idea,) stuff anything and everything he possibly could into his pockets — keys, empty wrappers of gum, cigarettes or small things he’d pick pocketed, even spare change (though Courtney used to mock him for still carrying pennies around — who does that? She’d tease).

“That’s what you get for always walking with your hands in your pockets,” Courtney used to barate. “Someday, you’re going to end up washing your wallet if it isn’t for me,”

“Yeah, well, you’ll always be here, so that’s not a concern,” Duncan had winked back.

All Courtney could do now was scowl at how that had aged.

Hell, Courtney found herself missing their arguments — mostly over the small and rather unimportant things, they were ironically some of her fondest memories. Half the time their arguments would end up with the two making out after Duncan had silenced her with a kiss, and Courtney was now well-aware no one would ever interrupt her in such a way ever again.

Duncan was the only person who Courtney would allow to interrupt her, though now he wouldn’t want to even listen to her, let alone care enough to plant a kiss on her lips when she was in the middle of talking. Courtney had never wanted someone to interrupt her more than she wanted Duncan to.

And I'll go sit on the floor

Wearing your clothes

All that I know is that

I don't know how to be something you miss

Never thought we'd have a last kiss

Never imagined we'd end like this

Your name, forever the name on my lips

So I'll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep

And I feel you forget me like I used to feel you breathe

And I'll keep up with our old friends just to ask them how you are

Hope it's nice where you are

( TIME JUMP: 4 Months after TDAS )

Two months after coming home, Courtney found herself slowly healing from the damage that Duncan had caused on her heart. Two more months after that, Courtney found herself genuinely able to smile after that without the desire for Duncan and Gwen to be by her side; a year after that, Total Drama All Stars has been done for four months and Courtney lived day-to-day life without thinking of either Duncan or Gwen.

Courtney had been laying low for that time; obnoxious, gossip-hungry tabloids had asked for a “statement” from her whenever Gwen or Duncan or one of her ex-contestants found themselves on a headline, but Courtney shot them down every time — her ego might have taken a huge hit from World Tour and that episode from All Stars, but she wasn’t desperate enough to willingly make an appearance and be interviewed by Celebrity Manhunt.

The questions for “statements” seemed to blur over time; do you have any words of advice for Heather, who suspects Alejandro of cheating? Have you heard Trent’s new single? Rumor has it it’s about Gwen and Duncan! Speaking of Gwen and Duncan, if they were reading this, what would you say to them?

It was an endless and rather tiring cycle of the paparazzi trying to lure a reaction out of her, which Courtney refused to give into.

However, one day as Courtney was loading her groceries on a conveyor belt at the local grocery store, a headline from a tabloid caught her eye. All Courtney read were the words Totally Dramatic, and Courtney knew she should look away — they were the same magazine that publicly called Courtney a bitch a few months ago, which she would never forget. Though she had self-control in public, she found that at 11PM on a Friday night she had little to no self-control and found herself pulling open her laptop and typing Totally Dramatic in the search bar on Safari.

Almost immediately, the faces of her ex-boyfriend and ex-best friend take over her screen, with the text underneath that’s all too hard to miss — Gwuncan Engagement Rumors Confirmed!?

Courtney could feel her the pit of her stomach drop and her heart shatter as it crashed to the ground below her.

It wasn’t that she missed Duncan — she didn’t! It was just that she so good at her job of avoiding Gwen and Duncan’s names like the plague she was blissfully unaware that they had gotten back together.

She would be lying if Courtney said she hadn’t thought of reaching out to Gwen — and shamefully, it would be a lie if Courtney swore she never considered sending a drunk text to Duncan (thankfully, she never had; it was a nightmare just thinking of the embarrassment that would cause) — but always decided against it because of three reasonings; there was no way either would want to hear from her, they hated her guts and Courtney would never allow her dignity to stoop as low as it had during the third season ever again.

But now — now Courtney was sure she would never reach out. Not even a quick Congratulations! text, not a gift basket, not even show up to Gwen’s bachelorette party if she felt bold enough. Courtney was positive that she was reduced to the stalking ex, browsing through both of their Instagrams, watching them mature and fall back in love through their own photographs. It was... strange, to say the least.

What was this feeling that was erupting inside her? It wasn’t jealousy, she had gotten over Duncan months ago, but it wasn’t sadness, resentment or anger, either. It was like the feeling of realizing that, as ironically and unbelievable as it was, the two had grown up without Courtney, and all she could do was watch from a distance. Watch them slowly move on from their memories of Courtney — both bad and good — until the mention of her left both indifferent; Courtney was almost positive that being hated by the two would be less painful than knowing that at one point, they were the closest and best people in her life and now they couldn’t care less on how Courtney was.

Courtney used to watch Gwen paint and draw with such concentration that she was sure she would be held accountable for messing her art up if she just so much as breathed too loudly. The furrow between her brows would deepen and the stormy gray of her eyes would be clouded over with concentration and care, and Courtney found herself wishing that she was as passionate about something as Gwen was of her art. Sure, she had her studies in law, but Gwen’s skills — they were truly beautiful. She used to watch Gwen’s head very thrown back a little when she laughed a little too hard, and how tears would leak from the corner of her eyes from laughter so easily. Or how whenever Gwen dyed her hair again, she would unintentionally run her fingers through it all of the time, leaving Courtney wandering just how soft her hair could possibly be with her double-conditioning. But now she would witness all of Gwen’s happiness through her phone’s screen when she would look up her name on Instagram.

Courtney also used to watch Duncan do so many miscellaneous things that it would be impossible to list them all; like how his eyes would glint with joy whenever he would successfully break a law, a small shot of success and pride to keep him going. Or how, as much as he stated he hated them, always showing great amounts of concern when his friends or family were stressed and immediately began brainstorming how to make them feel better. Or how no matter how tough he pretended to be, when he slept, he just looked so peaceful that it was impossible to find yourself able to avoid falling for him. But now all she’d be seeing of him was his face plastered on a tabloid, probably with his arms around Gwen’s waist.

Maybe she was being overdramatic, but it really was ironic how at one point, she had held them both so close she could feel them breathe but now all she felt was herself slowly becoming more and more insignificant to the two of them, until she was nothing more than just a blurry memory and a face that was hard to recall among others.

Someday in the future, she could already picture herself casually asking Bridgette how Duncan was, since he was still friends with Geoff and DJ, afterall — what would she be expecting? For him to be struggling to make a living and pay rent? For Duncan to be unhappy with his life and relationship? For Gwen and Duncan to experience as much pain as they inflicted on her?

Deep down, she knew the real answer; no matter how many times they’d backstab the other, Courtney just wanted Gwen and Duncan to have the best, even if it killed her to admit it.

A small part of her couldn’t help but wonder if they felt the same about her, too.

And I hope the sun shines

And it's a beautiful day

And something reminds you

You wish you had stayed

You can plan for a change in weather and time

But I never planned on you changing your mind

Maybe one day Duncan would look back on their relationship like Courtney had been doing for months — or maybe, a small part of her hoped, he had been.

All Courtney could hope for was that someday in the future, when Courtney had found peace and Gwen and Duncan were happily moving on to whatever chapter of their lives lied ahead of them, something small would catch Duncan’s eye — a picture of her on the news, a box that reeked of memories of her, even the mere mention of her name — would send him back in time to when they were sixteen and still in love and clueless to the cruel world around them, and maybe a small part of him that he thought died when he was a teenager would blossom again with the wish that he had stayed; they would always be their own biggest what-ifs.

Courtney had planned anything and everything in her life ahead of time; one thing she hadn’t ever expected? Duncan to give up on her and leave her with a last kiss while she still craved for more. And while he had moved on, Courtney was stuck in the past, but that was okay — if he could move on, so could she, and her while that may take time, she was fully prepared to wait it out; she may have been painted as the villain of the story, but she also deserved her happily ever after.

So I'll go sit on the floor

Wearing your clothes

All that I know is that

I don’t know how to be something you miss

Never thought we'd have a last kiss

Never imagined we'd end like this

Your name, forever the name on my lips

Just like our last kiss

Forever the name on my lips

Just like our last

#duncney #writing angsty and sad duncney in 2020?#couldn’t be me #total drama #td courtney #td duncan #gwuncan #td gwen #total drama world tour #total drama all stars #pls td tumblr forgive me #WHY DID I WRITE SM #song fic #song fic oneshots are my jam #please forgive me for writing all of this #enjoy angsty courtney is it obvious i love her with my entire heart

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shinrasfirst · 4 years ago

Text

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥

My muse is: canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless /

Is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO.

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK.

Is your character considered strong in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK.

Are they underrated? YES / NO.

Were they relevant to the main story? YES / NO. (I mean? I’m not sure? I hope he will be more important, but as it is, he could have been cut out of Part 1 of the remake.)

Were they relevant to the main character? YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG. (Except that he kinda saved him.. I can’t answer these questions, I am so biased.)

Are they widely known in their world? YES / NO. (?)

How’s their reputation? GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL. Depends on who you ask, I’d say!

How strictly do you follow canon?

There isn’t much canon to go on, first of all. I am taking what I can get and expand on it. There’s probably some stuff about him that I don’t know, because I am notoriously bad at researching things properly, and also I forget stuff. So.. he’s canon-based as much as possible, but then majorly fleshed out by my own ideas because otherwise he’d be a very two-dimensional character.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutual.

He’s wild and fun and crazy and could make for some interesting threads---

He is actually compatible with a lot of muses because he technically works for Shinra, but then doesn’t seem to give a lot of fucks about his employment status, meaning he can also work with the other side without me having to change his setting much.

He’s gorgeous. Look at him.

He is flirty and easy to smut with.

He has a completely unknown backstory that could be explored c;

Did you see that ass?

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).

He’s a bit nuts. If you’re looking for a predictable, soft, sweet romance or friendship, he is not your guy.

He'll probably die young. And there shall be angst and pain.

I’ve seen some people really reduce him to a maniac to lives on the road to attack random people. If that’s your idea of Roche then I am sure you wouldn’t be looking for threads with him~

He is tough to write love/romance with. Like proper romance.

He has a completely unknown backstory.. so my version might differ greatly from what you have in mind.

What inspired you to rp your muse?

I played the Remake and driving on those motorcycles was insane but kind of fun - and then shows up this guy who just drove right into my heart as soon as he popped up on the screen, laughing like a mediocre villain from YuGiOh. I thought that was all it was going to be, but I was thrilled to see that it wasn’t. I just love this character. I rewatched his fight scenes with Cloud a hundred times. He is so.. peculiar. I just couldn’t stop thinking about him, and then I saw a bit more of him on tumblr, fanarts and such, and I wanted to give it a shot :)

What keeps your inspiration going?

New headcanons about him that pop into my head. Finding other people who love him and talking to them & rping with them! Like with all muses, I tend to love them even more the longer I play them, compared to when I start out, because new stories around them develop, I get a clearer image of their character and backstory in my head, and new plans for their future :) On a more to-the-point level: quotes, poems, music, images, all those things give me inspiration. Also similar characters in other media, or stories that fit Roche and that I can recycle and reform into part of his.

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice? YES / NO. According to whom? I am alright with the way I write him, or I’d be doing it differently. Would Square Enix think I am doing a good job? Idk. Do other Roche rpers think I am? Idk. Does it matter? As long as there are people who enjoy writing with my version of him, I am doing my job, I think :) There are Roche portrayals I find “better” than mine in some ways, more developed, but I don’t really compare myself in that way.

Do you frequently write headcanons? YES / NO.

Do you sometimes write drabbles? YES / NO.

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO.

Are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO. Yes and now because while I stand to the way I write all my muses, Roche in particular is one I haven’t fully developed yet. There are things about his story I am still unsure about or have no clear ideas for yet. So, I’m not feeling insecure when I write him, but I am not overly confident in throwing him in any situation, because something might come up that’ll require me to think harder that I’d have to while playing.. e.g. Rufus.

Are you confident in your writing? YES / NO. I’m no Rowling, I’m no Tolkien, I know that. But I think my writing is alright. I try to put some internal thoughts in my replies, describe the scene abit, offer some dialogue if applicable, and move the action forward. I am not writing a book here, I am writing something interactive, so my partner is my main concern aside from telling the story. I do feel like I’m doing an okay job at that, so in that sense I am confident in my writing.

Are you a sensitive person? YES / NO. I’m not entirely sure what this is referring to, but generally I’d say no. I can deal with most topics, it’s pretty hard to offend me, I’m open to most things, and there are very few issues I feel like they can’t be solve with just talking about them.

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?

It depends? I almost never get constructive criticism. What I absolutely accept is things like.. someone correcting mistakes I’ve made in terms of timelines or canon facts, because I am lazy by default and tend to not research something well and just wing it. So it might be that I’ll put some fake news into my threads that I have no problem with if someone corrects - actually, please do, I’ll gladly fix it. (Especially if they’re relevant to your muse.)

If someone dislikes a headcanon of mine or something that is particular to my portrayal of Roche, that’s really not something I aspire to change. I have my ideas of him and everyone else has their own. If a friend came to me and told me a certain headcanon of mine makes no sense because of the canon storyline or whatever, and it sounded valid to me, I’d consider that. That wouldn’t offend me. If someone just told me they dislike an idea I had, that is the kind of criticism I don’t really accept. That’s not criticism to me, that is a personal opinion that we disagree on. It’s not my problem if someone dislikes my portrayal, they don’t have to interact with it. I take no offense in that, unless it’s reported to me in a rude manner.

With regard to my writing? I don’t ask for criticism and I don’t really want it either. I know what areas I have to work on in order to improve, I don’t need anyone to give me pointers there. I have enough of that in my academic papers at university ;) This is a hobby, so I’m trying to have a good time and good plays with others, I’m not trying to win any awards. However, if I post a reply my partners aren’t sure how to work with (e.g. they need more dialogue, or more action) I am absolutely willing to edit it, no problem. Also, not just on tumblr/in the RPC but in general, people are really really REALLY bad at giving constructive criticism. It never ceases to amaze me how much people suck at that. Like I said, I don’t get offended easily, but it makes me laugh sometimes (e.g. after presentations at uni) how horrible the feedback comes across sometimes. And then everyone gets butthurt and I once again marvel at the fact that no lecturer ever gives advice on how to give good feeback. (I guess because a lot of lecturers can’t do it either.)

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?

Absolutely! It helps a lot. Sometimes it’s a real challenge, but those are necessary and very welcome while developing a character. Other people often think of things I didn’t even consider, so I welcome it when they come into my askbox with these questions :)

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why?

Maybe? If it was a friend or an rp partner, I’d hear them out for sure. If it was someone I don’t even write with.. maybe not. Like, what’s the point? Clearly I made up my mind about it, so why would you come to me to inform me that you see it differently? Go right ahead, neither one of us writes these games, so both our versions are equally right or wrong. If it’s about something that could lead to an interesting discussion, though? I’d be interested to hear your thoughts.

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?

I'd say some people like chocolate ice cream and some like vanilla. That’s okay. I’m not trying to please everyone on tumblr, I’m here to write what I want to write and if just one other person likes my portrayal, that can be enough for me :) If someone dislikes my portrayal, they’re free not to interact with me.

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?

I’ve written more characters that were absolutely despised by a good chunk of the fandoms I was in, than characters who were loved, I think. I couldn’t care less. If someone hates Roche - or any of my muses - that’s their thing and has nothing to do with me. As long as they don’t feel the need to inform me about it or send me hate over it, what’s it to me? I don’t need people to like my favorite characters, it has no influence on how I feel.

But also.. why would you hate Roche? Look at him, he’s amazing :D

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?

Sure. English isn’t my first language, I’m sure I make mistakes all the time. I’m not embarrassed by that, everyone makes mistakes, even people whose first language is English. That being said, don’t go weeding through my posts looking for mistakes, because I won’t go back and fix them in most cases, so it’s really a waste of time~

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?

I think so. I’m pretty relaxed most of the time, and I try to be polite and kind in any situation that comes up. I don’t get offended unless you’re accusing me of something I didn’t do, twist my words, insult my friends, or act like a total brat. Before I start a war with someone, I’ll usually withdraw myself from the situation. I am pro-unfollowing/blocking if I dislike someone. I would never send anon hate or write a call out. I’m not here for that. I think we should all try to be kinder than we feel, we should all show respect for others and tolerate differences, and we should try to treat people the way we want to be treated. Live and let live.

That’s about it, congrats for filling out!

Tagged by: stole it. Tagging: anyone who’d like!

#( out of mako. )#( m: roche. )

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theonceoverthinker · 6 years ago

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OUAT 4X05 - Breaking Glass

Not super excited to GLASS-ess this episode, but let’s get a move on and see if this rewatch BREAKS my perspective!

So go under that there cut for the review!

Main Takeaways

Past

I wonder what would’ve happened if Lily had been honest from the start about where she came from. Would Emma have rejected her for leaving a family that she already had or would she have trusted Lily’s feelings of not belonging and feeling invisible?

Speaking of invisibility, I really feel like giving a tangible meaning to “invisible” would’ve made this segment better. Because we see that Lily’s not neglected. Her father personally goes searching for her and her mother is apparently “worried sick.” Are we supposed to believe that they’re putting on an act and that Lily regularly is neglected or are we supposed to think Lily’s over privileged and lying? Or is there something else going on there? I feel like just a line talking about Lily’s specific experiences at home would’ve really helped Lily be a bit more fully rounded.

Present

Okay, so I’m gonna get right to the point about why I don’t like this episode: Emma and Regina’s dynamic. I’ve said before that I don’t like their arc this season and this episode is the reason why. In every episode of it prior, while Emma truly felt bad for Regina and the consequences of her actions, she didn’t forget that that action was saving (What we all originally thought) was an innocent woman’s life, and thus didn’t show regret for the action, just remorse. Therefore, her kindness towards Regina, especially as Regina was insulting, only went so far before she bit back. There were lines that Regina would cross that Emma would say that she’s taking her anger out at the wrong person to. And Regina’s anger at Emma, while not pleasant, was in character and came from an understandable enough place. I get that and it made their dynamic something organic and interesting to follow. It was a complicated issue and they had complicated reactions to it, reactions they and the audience understood.

Here, that nuance fucking disappears and what we’re left with is more shallow than a McDonalds container of dipping sauce.

Emma spends the entire episode putting up with every mean thing Regina says. She practically begs for Regina’s forgiveness and refuses to stand up for herself. And there’s no reason for this change. Had Elsa or even Snow suggested a gentler approach to how she handles Regina, only for it not to work, that would’ve been a better handling of the story.

And when Emma DOES stand up for herself, it’s just nothing! It’s over Regina lying about Sidney and lasts for barely a few seconds! Regina brings up everything with Marian and I’m just here wondering why they never get into it!

And Regina’s BRUTAL in her insults and goes SO far over the line compared to previous episodes (“You ruined my life” being the worst of them), and the fact that Emma doesn’t have a big snap back to these things highlights not only how harsh the lines actually are, but how practically nonchalant Emma is being towards them. It’s a sentiment that really doesn’t work in the episode’s favor.

As an Emma fan, it feels absolutely undeserved and to not see a consequence from Emma for such lines is anger inducing. As a Regina fan, her behavior here feels embarrassing!

In Emma’s final scene with Regina in the vault, the framing becomes weird. The whole episode is framed as Emma needing Regina to forgive her and then in this last scene, it’s kind of reversed. Emma talks about how she doesn’t want to make the same mistake again, but last time, she was the victim. “I don’t want to kill you.” This is the wham line of the entire final scene between them, but where does it come from? At no point in this season or episode has Regina said anything about killing Emma and it makes the final speech really weird seeing as they were just talking about being friends and forgiving each other.

“You’re trying to win me over so I can assuage your guilt, but you’re wrong.” This is the only line that has a bit of nuance to it, and it still ends up suffering. It makes sense for Regina to feel that way and if we’re to take the line “once you screw someone over, there’s no going back” line at face value, it feels for a second like a real sentiment that the episode is trying to have. I’d even say it would’ve done a better job of painting Emma’s actions as something we’re not supposed to be absolutely sympathetic towards. That said, in terms of framing, we’re supposed to take “I wasn’t looking for you to assuage my guilt” as a genuine statement and those two sentiments can’t coexist simultaneously. Are we supposed to think Regina’s taking Emma’s actions the wrong way and/or overreacting?

I do like Snow’s conflict. As I said before, I don’t think Baby Neal ever needed a huge amount of focus, but these B-plots of seeing Snow and David’s worries concerning him in Season 4 do help to not make him feel forgotten in the rest of the shuffle and help enhance Snow’s character. It also gave way to some cute silliness between her and Will Scarlet. In the grand scheme of things, that makes it a bit meaningless, but I like the cuteness.

Stream of Consciousness

-Emma, I’m with Will here. You gotta let him out. I know legality means fuck all in this town and I’m fine with that, but he’s not a super villain. He broke into a library! This is just cruel and unusual punishment! Give him a fine or something and send him on his...MERRY way! XD

-I kind of love the idea of Sidney just barely holding back giggles at the fact that he betrayed Regina. XD

-I know people don’t love Snow’s wardrobe from Season 4 onwards, and I’ll admit that there’s something of a stark change, but I like her wardrobe. For one thing, in this episode, she’s rocking that vest. For another, she just looks so cozy and warm!

-The cape is here!!! It’s so fabulous!!!

-Who took that photo of Regina and Robin? Were Henry or Snow just being sneaky af? XD

-”Leverage.” Part of me thinks that had Regina freed him, Sydney would’ve stayed loyal to her and that was one final chance on his part for Regina.

-Regina, LOVING the outfit! Everyone just looks positively BANGIN’ tonight!

-”No one was ever gonna look at me the way those parents looked at her.” I’M NOT CRYING, YOU’RE CRYING!

-I know Regina’s mad, but why won’t she just tell Emma that Sidney’s helping her. It makes up a lot of the screen time of this episode and it makes no sense! It’s not like Emma can free him and she’d probably just ask him to help until the Snow Queen is defeated.

-“Intentionally or not, you hurt someone.” Emma would’ve hurt someone regardless if she’d done nothing!

-Watching Will dig holes trying to get back to Wonderland breaks my fucking heart! Just...OW!

-Will, you’re very out of place here, but props to you for going for the gay option! XD

-I love how baby Emma was just raring to go! “I got this” and grabs a fucking candlestick! Emma, no matter the time or place is a fucking badass!

-I like how we got to see Elsa get herself out of danger!

-”If the outcome of your escape is that you found a part of yourself again, I’d say he earned that pardon.” ...Boy can this open a big can of worms in terms of villain redemptions in this show, but at least Will just broke into a library.

-Emma, why do you keep a box from your childhood in your workplace as opposed to the loft? It’d probably be safer there!

-Who took that photo? August? XD

Favorite Dynamic

Emma and Lily. The bond between Emma and Lily is just so en pointe. Their personalities and experiences compliment each other really well and make for an initially very easy going friendship. Lily is very much the opposite side of Emma’s coin. While coming from more of a place of direct privilege, Lily feels like she doesn’t belong and that connects with Emma’s resolve following Cecilia’s adoption. They support each other, trust each other, and are kind. It does so much to make the ending of the episode a point of tragedy. I also like that while Emma is undeniably the victim here, the decision to have her fully turn her back on Lily was depicted as a touch too harsh without erasing the former point. You end up really feeling for both of these girls.

Writer

Kalinda Vazquez writes her first piece for Season 4 in today’s episode and she’s joined by newbie, Scott Nimerfro. Once again, unless I’m corrected, I’m going to attribute the past segment to Kalinda and the present to Scott due to how their names are sequenced on sources pertaining to the episode. To me, that just makes sense too given the writing job. Scott seems pretty unfamiliar with how Emma and Regina work, something that after a brief review of Kalinda’s past episodes, isn’t something she struggles with. When dealing with an episode with a storyline like this, one really has to intake the nuances of the characters and evaluate what they’re trying to accomplish. Here, I feel like Scott was just trying to start on a simpler note when this episode needed a more complicated touch to it. Simplicity will be more of a friend to him in his next episode, “Shattered Sight.”

Rating

6/10. Like with the last episode, the present segment leaves me mostly unimpressed, but the past segment is pretty good.

Flip My Ship - The Home of All Things “Shippy Goodness”

Captain Swan - CHEEK KISS! WE HAVE A CHEEK KISS! And then the office scene. After an emotionally taxing day, Emma gets to reflect on things with a nice bit of booze and her boyfriend. “May I have the honor?” May I have a fainting couch because that shit made me swoon! And I love how Emma, while nervous, trusts Killian with her box of memories. And his reactions as he takes in everything range from adorable when looking at the ring to a pained understanding of mutual grief and love when they look at the picture of Neal. And finally, the hand-arm around thing. Like, while Killian finds the old Emma video to be adorable, he knows on some level that this is hard and wants to be there for her.

Swan Star - I basically Disney ship these two here!

Snowing - I love how David makes such a big effort to make Snow feel safe as they go out on their date! David is such a good husband who really understands what his wife needs!

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Woohoo! I made it through the two episodes I knew I wasn’t gonna like! Now let’s get back to some good stuff!

Thanks as always to the fine folks at @watchingfairytales and to the lovely @daensarah!!!

Season 3 Total (35/230)

Writer Scores: Adam and Eddy: (9/60) Jane Espenson: (10/40) David Goodman and Jerome Schwartz: (10/50) Andrew Chambliss: (6/50) Dana Horgan: (6/30) Kalinda Vazquez: (6/40) Scott Nimerfro: (6/30)

*Links to the rest of my rewatch will no longer be provided. They take posts with links outside of searches and I spend way too much time on these reviews to not give them that kind of exposure. Sorry for the inconvenience, but they still can be found on my page under Operation Rewatch.

#ouat #once upon a time #watching fairytales #ouat 4x05 #ouat rewatch #jenna watches ouat

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sarazanmai · 7 years ago

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Stuff I loved in 2017.

Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Kyoani.

So this was a very interesting year you could say. I really put forward a lot more effort to try new things and I do think a bigger part of this year for me was learning to stop stressing myself out so easily. Not sure if I fully succeeded, but I tried. I have a lot to talk about in this post so I suggest getting comfortable. This post isn’t a ranking, I have no interest in doing a ranking. So if you question why certain things show up sooner or later in the post than others its just a random order and not a signal of my opinion on it.

Let’s get this over with, I like “Miss Kobayashi’s Dragon Maid”. Try and hear me out on this. I did not read the manga and have no intention to ever do so. Now with the anime I remember hearing about the concept and finding the idea of it rather charming. A dragon who takes on a human form and tries being a maid, it sounds adorable. Then I saw the character designs and went “oh”. But through all of the controversy regarding the anime there was still this piece of me that kept wondering about it. I am mutuals with @darlinginthefranxx and asked them about the anime because they liked it so much and despite saying I wouldn’t watch it, I did. And I really enjoyed it. This is not an anime to be judged on screen caps, you need to see the characters in motion to fully appreciate how good the animation actually is. In screen caps it looks like nothing special and their faces can look rather flat, but this is a beautifully animated show. From the colors to the character animation themselves it looks great. Kyoani if anything just excels at their animation. Everything comes together in a very seamless way. I really enjoyed the characters a lot too. Kanna is the cutest thing I saw all year and I think Tohru and Kobayashi themselves were really fun to follow. Lucoa was funny, I liked Fafnir and Takiya, I love Elma, this was a good cast. The seiyuu are great too, I’ve always loved Daisuke Ono so hearing him as Fafnir made me happy. And Yuichi Nakamura as Takiya was amazing because he doesn’t actually sound like I’m used to him sounding. I never would have guessed that was him. I also wanna give credit to Kobayashi’s actress Mutsumi Tamura, I really enjoyed her voice its very smooth and relaxing. There is sexual fanservice, but it is not the focus of the anime. In fact most of the fanservice amounted to bouncing breasts and Lucoa putting on these silly little outfits. The anime is largely a slice of life / fish out of water kind of story. Its not a harem, its not an ecchi, and even if it was I have seen harem and ecchi anime that are still good so that isn’t a kiss of death to me. As a whole the anime is composed of very funny and even very sweet episodes detailing things like Tohru’s attempts to win Kobayashi’s heart or things with Kanna at her school or Fafnir and Takiya being otaku who love online gaming. The OVA is about Valentine’s Day and it climaxes with such a heartwarming moment that I felt like I had a blanket wrapped around me. I do wish the last episode was different, its just this rather awkward tone shift into something more epic. I think if you took the last few minutes of the finale and just latched them onto the second to last episode completely removing the stuff with Tohru and her father it would be smoother. The final few minutes of the series were so good showing us that everyone has found some kind of place and seeing Kobayashi bring Tohru and Kanna to meet her family just seemed like the right stopping point. It indicated that she sees them as her own family and leaves me with a good feeling. That being said its an anime that I can understand is not for everyone. Hopefully if you’re reading this you are someone who trusts my opinion. When I sat down and watched it I realized it isn’t what I thought it was and it truly is one of the best anime of the year.

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I don’t talk about music very often. And that’s because I don’t think my taste in music is especially interesting to talk about. But I loved Lana Del Rey’s “Lust for Life” album so much and its worth mentioning here. When I first became aware of Lana I was not interested, another retro female singer just wasn’t something I got excited about. But then I actually tried her music and just fell in love. The thing that people seem to lose sight of with her music and her artistry is she’s actually quite weird. Her music is strange, its haunted but she’s singing about sex and getting high and loads her songs with references to literature. And I love that. Her music is almost hypnotic. Whoever said that she sings like a horny ghost was completely right and nowhere is that more clear than on the song “Cherry”. There’s a haziness to that song that makes it so hypnotic and what sets it over the edge are the bizarre lyrics. If you’ve heard it you know what I’m talking about. When it comes to her music I honestly don’t try to analyze every lyric she writes. Like I’m not gonna be all “hm yes when she says ‘I’m crying while I’m cumming’ she’s speaking to the way sexuality is tied up in female suffering”. I’m not that kind of person with music. I don’t need to know her every waking thought process behind her music, I just feel it. I wouldn’t consider any of her songs lacking in substance though. My favorite track off the album is the one I’ve linked up there called “13 Beaches” and when I first heard it I was just hit by a train of emotions. “Get Free”, the last track, is hands down one of her best and has a very moving message about moving past your demons and into something more promising. On this album she collaborated with Stevie Nicks for the song “Beautiful People Beautiful Problems” and Sean Lennon on “Tomorrow Never Came” and those tracks are both beautiful as well. Its hard to say how this compared to her other albums as I enjoy all of them, but this one I keep reaching for.

I didn’t see "The Handmaiden” in 2016 when it came out, but ultimately its a film that was worth waiting to own on blu-ray. It is stunning. I’m a big fan of Park Chan-wook’s film “Oldboy” and when I heard about the production of this one I was instantly interested. Its frankly bizarre to me how many bloggers and critics tried to act like the lesbian content was some plot twist when this was literally used as a selling point. The Korean lesbian revenge thriller. I find that description to not do it proper justice at all though. Its more than just a movie about women taking revenge and women being defiant and boiling it down to such a movie is just wrong in my opinion. So much of the film is about the voyeuristic and predatory nature in male sexuality and the male gaze and how it damages women. To paraphrase Chan-wook himself, during Hideko’s reading scene those men don’t lay a finger on her but they cause her deep pain because she has been made a sexual object. A thing for them to be amused by while she silently endures humiliation and performs her way through it. The romance between Hideko and Sook-hee is handled in a way that is not only believable, but it feels natural. Them falling in love did not feel like a twist as it felt like the natural course the movie was taking. There’s so many layers and so many things about this movie to dissect, but all people want to talk about are the “yaaas queen” revenge scenes and the sex. The revenge aspects to the film are emotionally and dramatically satisfying, but the amount of focus on them while failing to deliver a more nuanced discussion of it disappoints me. Its frankly easy to focus on the revenge angle and ignore the more thought provoking substance and I’m not fond of that. The sex scenes I felt were beautifully shot and knowing the levels Park Chan-wook went to in order to insure the actresses were comfortable gives me a lot more respect for him as a director. He removed all male crew members including himself from the set and provided them an extra room with snacks to go relax in should they feel overwhelmed. Compare that to other male directors making films about female sexuality and you’ll see that not nearly enough directors have that amount of self awareness or respect for their actors sadly. In terms of the scenes themselves I saw them as representative of the two ladies experiencing a freedom with each other once they’re no longer under the oppressive and stifling male gaze. The scenes are explicit certainly, but I wouldn’t consider them obscene by any means. And definitely not a male fantasy given the themes within the film concerning sexuality. Either way I think honing in on this just feels unnecessary, there is so much more to this film than seeing two beautiful women touch each other. Ultimately this is a movie I am proud to own and my favorite movie I’ve seen all year. Its deep, its emotional, its beautiful, the lead actresses Kim Tai-ri and Kim Min-hee were amazing, I fully look forward to seeing this epic story unfold for me again when I rewatch it.

“Moonlight” is a brilliant film. I had first heard about through @elegguas and I remember straight off the bat seeing the stills for it and thinking “wooooow” because the cinematography in this movie is so top notch that I am angry it did not win the Oscar for that category. I mean I can’t be the only one who thinks this movie got cheated out of that award. Much like with “The Handmaiden” I do not understand people treating the gay subject matter as a spoiler that must be kept under wraps. I watched reviews for it on youtube after seeing it and was confused about why people were tip toeing around it. This wasn’t something they tried to keep a secret, the trailer shows them leaning in for their kiss and when I first read about it I was informed by the article that it was a film exploring the life of a closeted black man. You look foolish for acting like this was some plot twist is what I’m saying. I think with all the back and forth surrounding the awards season and people putting it against movies like “La La Land” a lot of people didn’t even go out of their way to watch this film to be honest. It feels like a lot of people just weren’t watching it. I also found some people just looking for a reason to critique the movie negatively for what I can only assume is being contrarian. I actually saw someone chastise the movie because they appeared to have used eye drops for the scene with Chiron and his mother in the third act. Of all the things to zero in on that is probably the most inane one. This really powerful scene loaded with emotion is on display for you, two really strong performances, but you’re going to focus on the fact that they might have used eye drops for their tears. Its ridiculous. But in spite of all of that I will tell you this honestly is a movie that lives up to its hype. All the performances were great, again that cinematography is beautiful, its a movie where everything lined up where it needed to be and makes for a rich and moving experience. And it really is not a story you see being told in very many films. The choice to present this as a look at Chiron’s life in three different stages was a very smart one and the actors they hired all performed the role brilliantly. I never felt like I was seeing three separate people, but a person through the years. There was a cohesion throughout the three chapters and everything builds up to a finale that is quietly powerful. The writing and the performances make it all conclude in a very striking way that never felt ham fisted. There were some stylistic choices like having the actors look directly into the camera or the audio not syncing up with the footage that helped give specific moments this very unique feeling. And they did not feel random either. Some might not like that, but I did. Barry Jenkins is a very talented director and I look forward to whatever he creates in the future.

Is this the greatest anime ever made? “Legend of the Galactic Heroes” is an anime who’s strength is all in its writing. Trite as it is, especially after what happened to Star Wars, this is a series that excels at grey morality and truly showing a multifaceted group of characters. Nothing is too simple. You can’t pin someone down as a perfect hero or even evil. And the characters grow. When I finished the 110 episodes of this OVA I really felt like I experienced people evolving with time. I suppose that comes from the fact that unlike most anime this wasn’t based on a manga, it was based on a series of novels. Novels that were well received upon their release. All of this being said you always need to approach something highly praised with as clean and open of a mind as possible. Set the bar too high in your mind and you’re not going to get the story you envision. I say the same thing about “Cowboy Bebop” and “Evangelion” too. The series has a slow start, given how long it ran for its only natural I suppose. They took their time to set up this universe, these people, what they fight for, who they care about, this is a very complex situation being presented to us and it needed time to have proper seeding and development. Once things kick into high gear its like nothing else. A lot of media will try to show grey morality and ultimately fail as it always feels like this “omg who are the REAL bad guys!!!!” thing. You don’t get that with this. You really do see all these different perspectives and angles and its what makes these characters feel so engaging. I wouldn’t want Yang to be the perfect hero, I definitely don’t want Reinhard being Dio Brando in space. When characters die it really feels like you’ve lost someone special. Even characters I didn’t think I was attached to really hit me hard when it was time to let go. It appears that this is an anime a lot of snobbish people latch onto as an example of “real” art in anime while other more recent anime are junk. I always hate when that happens as it makes me want to root against the anime in question just for the sake of being contrarian. But if its really that good, then its really that good. “Legend of the Galactic Heroes” is by no means a weak anime, the fact that I finished it all in under a month (along with the introductory movie “My Conquest is the Sea of Stars”) is proof that for how dense it is you can watch it with ease. So is this the greatest anime ever made? I’m not sure I can answer that as we all look to anime with different things we want out of it. What I look for in an anime is likely not what you look for in an anime and the medium as a whole is so vast that its hard to point to one thing as the best. But the answer is probably yes.

“Tamako Market” is like the definition of wholesome. Obviously given the art direction this is a very cute, very sweet anime. And there are people who treat that like its a bad thing. What this anime does better than so many else I’ve seen is it really feels like something I can unwind to. I felt relaxed watching it. This is the hot cocoa of anime. Its a slice of life anime where ultimately there isn’t much if any conflict going on, but that’s honestly good. The series director is Naoko Yamada who made “K-On” and “A Silent Voice” and she really has talent. She is not old, she just turned 33 and has already carved out a space for herself in a very male dominated business. Watching all of those anime I listed its clear why that is. She knows how to make simple stories interesting. We don’t always need a big epic plot, like sometimes we all need to take a break and enjoy something simpler. That doesn’t make this a lazy anime though. There’s scenes that are set up very interestingly, there’s a specific moment of Tamako and her family eating dinner and its shown from above with you looking down at the table. It didn’t feel gimmicky, it didn’t feel random, in the hands of another creative team something like that would have. People seem to dislike Kyoani because they make these slice of life anime centered around cutely designed girls and I feel like that’s unfair. The amount of effort they put into their anime is staggering, none of the anime from them that I have seen felt like some cheapo cash grab with no thought put in beyond making lots of money. And I have to respect the studio for how they go about making anime. They make all of their anime in house and are one of only two studios who do not outsource (the other being Ufotable) and compared to majority of anime studios they have a very healthy system in place. People have given this anime negative reviews for being a sweet and simple slice of life anime and honestly those people just come across like they don’t have fun. That’s very blunt of me to say, but I read these reviews and just wonder why they’re so angry at something so harmless. Like this is such a strange anime to get mad over and meanwhile vulgar and even offensive anime become these big mainstream hits and no one bats an eye. This anime is great and just because its not some big sci-fi action banger that doesn’t mean its worthless junk. I even found myself getting choked up during some scenes. My only problem is that the subplot with the islanders felt like it came and got resolved weirdly easily. Like it just happened and then it was done. That doesn’t detract much from the fun I had with it. Overall this is a great heartwarming anime that I’d recommend to anyone who isn’t an elitist jackass that only cares about manly shonen anime.

“Samurai Champloo” was the first anime series Shinichiro Watanabe directed following “Cowboy Bebop” and surely he felt a lot of pressure to do something equally as great. And the direction he went was really refreshing and something that I feel only he could have made. I rewatched “Bebop” and “Space Dandy”, my personal favorite of his anime, in full shortly after completing this and its interesting to notice the ways in which Watanabe’s anime feel connected. He has a very clear vision when it comes to his anime. However they all feel distinct and not at all like they’re trying to fall back on his reputation and previous successes. Watanabe really feels like a true auteur for the anime world, there’s always this high quality to his work and no one else makes anime like him. I feel like he brings out the best in the people he gathers to work on his shows. Its also no coincidence that his “big three” if you will follow a similar format in that they’re a group of established characters traveling and encountering people and events through their journey with few recurring characters outside their respective circles. I like when anime do that, its what I enjoyed about “Mushishi”. The fact that Watanabe specifically looked to black culture and chose to merge it with the traditional samurai image is something that I doubt anyone else could have pulled off. Watching this anime it was clear he had a real respect for the music and various elements of hip hop that he was incorporating into the show. He was not concerned with this anime being nationalistic, he specifically said he did not want to make such an anime and it shows in the choices he made with it. Things like showing foreign characters and making a protagonist be from the Ryukyu Islands helped give this setting a feeling that it was lived in. It felt like this world seemed as wide and expansive as our own despite us spending the entire time in Japan. Another reason this show works so well naturally is our main characters. I’ve always liked Kazuya Nakai’s voice and since I honestly haven’t been watching the “One Piece” anime despite keeping up on the manga it felt great hearing him again. Mugen literally had to say one sentence and I was like “...Zoro?”. He seems to like voicing swordsmen who are low key stupid since I know his character in “Gintama” falls into that description as well. I thought Fuu was great, frankly I felt this was more her story than anyone’s and the way it all concludes for her left me feeling like I was about to cry. And Jin is a really interesting character in his own right, with someone else behind the character he could have been very boring honestly. Its a lot of fun following these three and when it all ends I felt sad despite the ending being positive, I didn’t want it to stop. Do I like this anime as much as Watanabe’s other anime? Yes I do.

“Wandering Son” is a beautiful anime. It follows a child named Shuichi who is a trans girl and her friend Yoshino who is a trans boy. And its handled in such a powerful and sincere way. It doesn’t feel like a gimmick, I genuinely believe this was a story that people wanted to tell because it was worth telling. Its based on a manga by Takako Shimura who’s work in general seems to focus on LBGT people, I want to watch the anime “Sweet Blue Flowers” which is based on one of her other anime and focuses on lesbians. I feel like with “Wandering Son” she managed to not only tap into something relatable, but she also made something highly thought provoking. She chose to write this story about middle schoolers because she felt there was a lot of potential to discuss puberty and how it effects trans people. Shuichi is a character that leaves you feeling a desire to protect as she’s not only a very sensitive child, but we see that the people in her life really do not understand what she’s experiencing. Her romance with one of her sister’s friends Anna becomes complicated, her sister just sees her as a weird boy that sneaks in her room and tries on her dresses and there’s a particularly emotional situation where she decides to go to school dressed as a girl and suffers the aftermath. But this isn’t a tragic story either. She grows as a person and by the end no longer seems as meek as she was in the beginning. And Yoshino undergoes an equally interesting character arc that touches on things like wanting to wear a binder and not feeling comfortable trying on a boy’s gakuran due to the effects of puberty. There’s also very interesting stuff regarding their friends and family. There’s a whole sub plot regarding a girl named Saori who has a crush on Shuichi, Anna made for a very interesting character and I was happy to see her set things right with Shuichi and accept her, and there’s a very poignant back story to an older trans woman named Yuki that our leads often seek advice from. In the end Shuichi finds it in herself to keep moving forward and be the person she wants to be and develops a good support system among her friends. I feel like what I saw in the anime was done beautifully and amounts to a very uplifting story, I felt proud seeing these character mature. And ultimately a story like this is not something I have ever seen an anime attempt so it felt like an eye opener in a very good way. Also as that screen cap shows its got a very unique animation style to itself, it evokes the art from the manga and very much looks like its own thing at the same time. The way they colored it is different and gives a painterly effect which I think was a smart move. Its weird to say, but if it wasn’t for my complete disappointment with “Yuri on Ice” I wouldn’t have ever heard of this and the next anime I will be discussing. There are LBGT centered anime out there worth your time and if people voicing dissatisfaction in one anime is what it takes to get them out there in your consciousness then I suppose I can’t see that as a bad thing.

It says a lot about a movie when my biggest problem is “it should be longer”. “Doukyuusei” is a fantastic movie. Beautiful art, a great believable romance, but its only an hour. Its based on a manga of the same name by Asumiko Nakamura and if the film is anything like the manga or her other work then she is really skilled at creating a believable chemistry. The art style for the movie appears to be the same as the art in her manga and I like how almost 1970s it looks. I know this isn’t necessarily how 70s manga and anime looked, but something to the designs reminds me of that time period. The director is Shouko Nakamura who’s worked on anime like “Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex” and “Gurren Lagann” and her work here really makes a case for how skilled she is. I hope she directs a series of her own someday. And I think the seiyuu they’ve hired are worth acknowledging too. I’ve been a fan of Hiroshi Kamiya for years, he’s someone with a lot of natural charm and charisma. I hear his voice and instantly want to like whoever he’s voicing even if I don’t like all of his characters. Its hard to describe in writing, but there’s something magnetic about his voice. And Kenji Nojima I’ve wanted to see more of ever since he became Mamoru Chiba in “Sailor Moon Crystal” and it felt great hearing him in this. He’s one of those seiyuu who seems to keep showing up in anime I don’t want to watch (unlike Kamiya who just shows up in everything) so it felt good to finally encounter him in something that appealed to me. Both of their performances are great and help enhance the personalities with these characters. I’m not sure if they recorded the dialogue together, I think with anime that’s typically how its done, and if that’s the case then I really feel like they played off of each other perfectly. Now I do know there is a big chance this is considered BL to a Japanese audience just knowing what I know about the way they categorize certain anime and manga. Regardless of what label you latch onto it this is still a believable romance and it never truly felt like it existed just to make fujoshi sigh. The way the relationship is presented is very romantic and heartwarming, it didn’t feel exploitative and like a thing designed for straight women to gawk over. The more sexual moments are still handled in an intimate enough way and it never feels like sexy fanservice. With one hour of run time they managed to succeed in really every area the romance in “Yuri on Ice” failed for me. You see them kiss (a lot), they address that there’s a sexual attraction between them, the idea of this being a long term relationship and not just a high school fling is really central to the film. Its never beating around the bush about it being a love story and they even address the character’s insecurities regarding the relationship. It isn’t sloppily thrown in there because oh wait we need drama even though none of these emotions have been touched on before, these thoughts and actions feel natural. Plot wise there kind of isn’t one as the romance is the focus of the film, but I love that. Its a simple story about two teenage boys falling in love and being in love. Just a shame it couldn’t have been a half hour longer. Not because it felt abrupt, it doesn’t. But because I just wanted more of these characters and this beautiful animation.

The second I laid eyes on Anna Biller’s “The Love Witch” I knew I was going to love it. She captured the 60s aesthetic so beautifully, you’ll excuse the pun the movie is absolutely bewitching. Biller really involved herself with this production from the writing to directing to set and costume design. She experienced a lot of problems with her crew that didn’t believe in her or the project, but I’m happy she persevered and made the film she wanted to make. This is her second feature length film after a 2007 movie called “Viva” in which she starred and I hope this gained her enough attention to result in more films from her. Some might argue this retro pastiche isn’t something she can do forever, but honestly she does it so well that I don’t really care. This movie just screams aesthetic and Samantha Robinson who plays Elaine is absolutely stunning and great in her performance. Its a performance that evokes how acting in the 1960s generally were with it being very presentational, but it works for both the character and the film at hand. I hope she develops a good career for herself. What’s interesting is watching the movie as a woman all of these feminist concepts she works into the plot felt very easy for me to understand and relate to yet all of these male critics don’t really seem to get it. They understand feminism is involved with the film in some way, but they don’t seem to fully appreciate all the ways in which feminist theory shapes the film. Scenes like Elaine going “life’s been tough huh?” while her latest man is crying like an idiot or the words of her ex echoing in her mind telling her she needs to put more effort into her appearance resonated with me. Everything including the overall concept of a woman who’s dragged herself into this fairy tale state of mind is something born from Biller’s personal ideologies, yet to so many critics the film is just an exploration of sex and kitsch. I don’t think this is a movie that would alienate any male viewers, but I do wonder if the feminist theory and Biller’s self described attempts at creating a female gaze just wash over them entirely. Critics have said its a movie lacking in plot, but I disagree. It has a plot, its about a witch who wants to find her dream man and uses her magic to entice the men around her only for things to turn out very badly every time she tries. Even if you watch it as just a tribute to old campy horror films you’ll still be entertained, but its so much more than that in my opinion.

This might sound weird, but for months now I’ve been convinced I watched “Haikyuu” last year. No that was this year. The reason I held off on it for so long honestly is because sports don’t especially interest me, but after watching it and getting caught up to date on the manga I think the problem isn’t sports as a subject matter but how its executed. “Haikyuu” is a very fun and lighthearted series. You’ve got fun characters, everyone is adorable, and the actual games themselves do have a sense of tension. You also don’t need to worry about the cliched evil rival team who we hate purely because they aren’t on the same team as our protagonist. I know there’s people who like to flatten Oikawa down to an egotistical villain, but that’s a massive disservice to his character as at the end of the day he’s one of the most interesting members of the cast. I never got the feeling the series itself was trying to make anyone an antagonist, they’re just people who love their sport and want to win. Making people like that evil is just tiring and one of the reasons I don’t take movies focused on sports very seriously. Its interesting that we’re now in an era where one of the big hits from Weekly Shonen Jump that isn’t “One Piece” is a sports anime. I made a post saying that our new big three are “Haikyuu”, “Boku no Hero Academia”, and “Black Clover” and I meant it. Of those three “Haikyuu” is the best. You don’t need to go in with a deep knowledge of volleyball, they educate you on the sport through the story. Much like how one of my favorite anime “Ping Pong the Animation” educates the viewer on table tennis. I’m no sports anime connoisseur, but I think its important to inform people with no knowledge of the sport at hand about how it works. Its not just a matter of passing a ball over a net and making sure it hits within the boundary line and Furudate understood the importance of teaching his audience about the complexities within volleyball. Centering the story around someone considered too short for this sport was also a good idea. Underdog protagonists in sports media is far from new, but the way in which Hinata throws himself into the sport and how far he’s willing to go to prove he isn’t defined by his height just makes him endearing. Its hard to say what’s going to happen in the series after the current arc focusing on nationals ends, but I’m also perfectly comfortable with rolling with whatever Furudate brings my way.

This is a fun anime. I know its likely gonna be on everyone’s worst list, but I am not everyone. And don’t show me that video of Asta yelling that got really popular on here, I’ve seen it too, and I just don’t care anymore. I swear though Asta’s voice is not as bad as everyone acts like it is. When he isn’t doing that vibrato yell he sounds good and I don’t think he yells as often as he did in the first two episodes. Maybe I’m just used to his voice, but I’m really fed up with all the complaining about it. Its funny when I tried watching that video I couldn’t handle five seconds, but I understood this was one of the new big things from Weekly Shonen Jump and decided to try it anyway. I love shonen anime and manga so it just felt like there was no harm in trying it. And its fun. “Black Clover” does have a very formulaic first several episodes and we’ve seen characters and tropes like this in other shonen anime and manga. And I understand fans of the manga think the manga just pulls everything off better. But its still an entertaining anime to me. I’m sure people will tell me that this is still something that’s just too by the numbers, but I personally have too much fun with it to get upset over it. Once I got past what I consider the set up phase to the story I enjoyed it so much more. I like this setting a lot and look forward to seeing more of it. And I do like the characters for what they are. Asta is a type of character I have a soft spot for because I like protagonists who try hard. Yuno hasn’t been in a lot of episodes as of the most recent one, but he has potential to be interesting. Noelle I really love, I love that she’s designed more with beauty in mind instead of cuteness and that she’s rather prissy. I like Yami, I like Magna, I just appreciate a lot of things about this series even if its not anything groundbreaking. “Black Clover” is in many ways a mixed bag, but at the end of the day I still like watching it.

“Hibike Euphonium” is gorgeous. Kyoani never seem to rest on their laurels and keep finding new ways to improve upon their animation with each anime. I genuinely believe they aim to push the limits of what an episodic anime can be like. Like with many of their anime “Hibike” is a slice of life shojo and this one follows a girl named Kumiko who plays the euphonium, a tuba like instrument that I had never heard of before, in her school’s band club. What Kyoani understands about making a slice of life is that if your characters and their interpersonal relationships are interesting enough then you don’t need to make something especially complex. A lot of people likely feel as if Kyoani is wasting this gorgeous animation on these simple stories, I don’t agree with them. All genres of anime should look good, except hentai, so slice of life having this kind of production value doesn’t offend me in the slightest. When it comes down to the characters I found them all likeable, especially Asuka. I really loved her character and was happy to see her get so much focus in season two. And again the animation in this is so beyond what other anime are doing. I had so many moments where I went “oh my God they included a detail like that”. With this anime they aimed for something that felt naturalistic and its reflected in both the animation and audio. The seiyuu were all directed to speak in a natural tone of voice rather than the typical “anime voice acting” kind of way. When characters are inside their voices have an audible echo while outside they do not. The scenes of them playing their instruments work in the same way. We see Reina practicing her trumpet outside and the audio reflects where she is supposed to be. This level of perfectionism just blew me away. I know a film is in the works and its directed by Naoko Yamada and it isn’t a complication film either, I really look forward to that.

Surprise more Kyoani. I meant it when I said loving Kyoani was a big part of my 2017. I never had anything against them, I never even watched their anime before. But man I am happy I have. Its just in general great to try watching different kinds of anime than what you usually do. This anime is called “Hyouka” its one part mystery one part high school slice of life. Those two elements mesh together very well despite them seeming like they wouldn’t. Our protagonist is Houtarou played by Yuichi Nakamura sounding unlike I’ve ever heard him sound before. It follows him and his friends in his school’s classics club as they try to figure out various mysteries surrounding the school. It sounds simple, but amazingly enough there’s a tremendous amount of depth to the anime. A lot of symbolism behind their use of color, a lot of foreshadowing, I’ve only watched it once but I’ve been told its an anime you discover new things about upon each rewatch and I believe it. A lot of people seem to overlook the rewatch value in something and truthfully not everything has it. Some shows or movies lose their magic when you go back to them, but it takes a considerable amount of skill to create something that keeps giving and giving. Part of why I believe this has that special rewatch value is that these main characters are interesting and flawed in ways that make you want to keep experiencing things with them. Some people I guess didn’t like the way it ended, but given these characters I felt like it was a conclusion that made sense. I feel like this anime has not gotten the amount of attention it fully deserves. Compared to other things by Kyoani it seems like this one falls under people’s radar and I think that’s unfortunate as its just as impressive as something like the previously mentioned “Hibike Euphonium”.

When you hear the name “Flip Flappers” you probably imagine a Nickelodeon cartoon about talking ducks. Or at least I did. In actuality its one of the most interesting anime from 2016. I didn’t see it until this year obviously, but I remember people talking about it and how amazing the animation was. While “Mob Psycho 100″ is my favorite anime from 2016, I do think this is an anime with a lot to share too. Its directed by Kiyotaka Oshiyama who directed one of the more artistic episodes of “Space Dandy” and in between that episode and this anime its clear that he’s someone with a strong vision and unique style. “Flip Flappers” is another anime that I feel screen caps do not do justice to, you need to see the characters move to really see just how brilliant the designs are. There’s something about this art style that only looks good in motion for me. Clearly they’re very striking, but the animation itself on the characters is very smooth and the way the anime uses colors makes me smile. I’m just happy anime are still using strong color palettes and not giving me this dull wash of grey in an attempt to look more serious. Story wise I can’t help but feel like “Flip Flappers” is a big Gainax homage up to and including the cartoonish animal sidekick. I wouldn’t say its exactly like any one Gainax anime though. Many compared it to “FLCL” and those are two radically different anime. The qualities people found similar between them are what I think can be chalked up to this feeling like an homage, but when it comes to the plot and these characters and what the show is striving for its really doing its own thing. You cannot tell me that this is just like “FLCL”, its still got its own identity. Some of the plot points I was able to predict as things developed, but in the end everything comes together in a very satisfying fashion. The characters I wanted to see happy got to be happy and the conflict is concluded in a satisfying way. I hope after this we get to see more from Oshiyama as I’m sure we haven’t seen the best of him yet.

Its become very clear to me that “Made in Abyss” is most people’s favorite anime of the year and I think its obvious why they love it that much. This is a really special anime and I am so proud of the team for getting a second season. I think what makes this anime so strong is that this world does feel fleshed out. We are discovering it along with Riko and Reg, but it still feels fully realized and it enhances the sense of wonder and terror that looms throughout the episodes. Its a thing that’s been said to death about anime that frankly aren’t that good, but this is an anime where the characters do feel like they’re in real danger. On the surface it looks like just a sweet show about kids wandering the forest. And I admit the screen cap I chose certainly makes it appear that way, when I make these posts I like to sometimes select misleading or out of context caps for kicks. But this anime goes to some very intense and unnerving areas. I really believed that Riko was going to need to lose her arm. When we got the flashback about Nanachi and Mitty I was shocked by how far they went. We all still talk about Nina from the “Fullmetal Alchemist” franchise, doesn’t matter which version. And as emotionally powerful as that was we still didn’t actually see it happen to her. Here such a trauma doesn’t happen off camera, you see it all and it leaves you with a feeling that is hard to shake off. This isn’t a nihilistic story though. I never get the feeling that this is one of those “life sucks and then you die” stories. As intense as the show gets there is still this feeling that something good could come out of it even after everything we learn about the Curse of the Abyss. Riko and Reg ultimately haven’t lost the spark in their eyes and that means so much to me. I don’t want a miserable experience, I want to see the characters move through their situation. While it isn’t my personal favorite 2017 anime “Made in Abyss” definitely is up there as one of the best we’ve gotten from this weird year.

One of the great tragedies of the anime world is losing Satoshi Kon at such a premature age. He still had ideas, there’s no telling what else he could have created if he never got sick. There is a gaping hole in the anime world that he left behind and nobody can replace him as proven by the complicated production for his still unfinished film “Dreaming Machine”. His movies are difficult to obtain in America, hopefully we’ll see them rereleased in the near future because to deny audiences of his work really gives me a bad feeling. I think about people who may want to watch them, but can’t because they’re so difficult to get your hands on. I really don’t like that. So long as there remains an interest in his work though I’d like to believe he will remain a figure of importance. I had always wanted to watch “Paranoia Agent” and really regret not seeking it out sooner. I didn’t even know the plot, I just knew he made it and that was enough to sway me. Going in blind my assumption based on the official art I had seen was that it was about a punk kid solving a surreal mystery in his city. I’m honestly happy I was given something far more imaginative than that. This series exists because Kon had all of these story ideas and concepts, but felt none could justify a feature length film. So he piled them all together and created a thread that connected them and this series was born. What impressed me right out the gate was seeing that the quality of animation in this show still holds up. Not a lot of TV anime from the 2000s have aged well for various reasons, but this still looks good. His style was something that I feel will always look good and its impressive to this day. And the writing and overall structure to this anime is just tight. The twists and turns and various interwoven stories were handled wonderfully. Despite how much I enjoyed this anime I will say that there was an episode that just took me out of it all. Episode eight just felt awkward and honestly goofy which is something I never associated with Kon by any means. I wish it wasn’t there as it breaks up the flow the episodes had built up. In spite of that I was happy with the anime. My personal favorite episodes were the second and third ones. And the overall message this anime carries about facing reality is something that while not new for an anime is done in a very emotional and gripping way. Kon only got to make so much within his short lifetime, but what’s there is impressive. They were all so interesting and expertly made by a true visionary. And we will never seen anything like them again.

And here is the third in the “YOI was disappointing so let’s find better LBGT anime” trio. “No.6″ is a really engaging anime. The sci-fi aspects to the story were interesting, I went in blind outside of knowing it was LBGT and found everything to be very curious. I told myself at the time to only watch a few episodes and I ended up watching all of it in one go because it grabbed me. It also helps that it stars two really great seiyuu. I always liked Yuuki Kaji and even if he’s been in pretty much every anime these days I have never had a problem with that because I don’t feel like I’m listening to Eren whenever he appears. And Yoshimasa Hosoya I knew was a good voice actor, but I had no idea he could sing that well. The characters they portray are both very interesting and seeing their relationship bloom through the episodes was one of the best qualities to the show. Like with all good romances it develops and progresses naturally, it felt like all of their interactions were leading into this deep rich relationship forming. The romance while a major selling point in my opinion isn’t all the anime is about though, its got a really interesting sci-fi plot where we watch Shion face the cruel nature of the world he lives in that he had up until then been sheltered from. With Nezumi, someone who’s lived in that cruelty his whole life, by his side Shion is ultimately forced to face whether or not the city he once called home is worth saving. I don’t want to reveal too much else about this piece of the story. Just know that its something that builds to a massive and emotionally powerful climax in which I was brought to tears out of pure relief. Its got a strong plot, a romance you actively root for, and despite being made in 2011 I’d argue it holds up very well from a visual standpoint.

Moisture is the essence of wetness. And wetness is the essence of beauty. How the hell did we get here? The swimming anime? Really? Well guess what despite its status as a meme the anime is actually really great. When this first came out I just thought it looked like the dumbest yaoi bait thing. I was wrong though. "Free” is certainly transparent about its fanservice, but that kind of gives it all a charm. Of coarse them being swimmers means seeing them shirtless a lot, but when its actual fanservice its pretty clearly fanservice and there’s something about how they did it that just made me smile. What I think the anime was successful at was just crafting a very fun and lighthearted sports anime. I think its so easy for sports to result in a lot of angst and drama and this does have some dramatic elements, but they never feel excessive. Something that was also appreciated was Mamoru Miyano not playing a douchebag for once. Seriously it doesn’t happen very often for whatever reason. There was Ling Yao, Tamaki, Riku, and that’s kind of it. Rin starts off as a typical rival jock, but as you get to know him that all breaks down and he ends up being a good friend to everyone in the second season which warmed my heart. After everything it was nice to see that and Rin was probably my favorite character as a result. These characters generally speaking were all very likeable and the seiyuu cast just got me so excited. Rei was probably my second favorite character and him being played by Daisuke Hirakawa just sweetened the deal. There are people would still think the series is too ridiculous for them, but I feel like those people never really gave it a fair try. Its a fun anime about a bunch of boys who love swimming, it never pretends its anything else. I have not watched the movies or the OVAs, I only watched the first and second season but trust me I am eating my old words. And I look forward to the third season when it arrives.

Is this the greatest anime ever made? Its definitely one of the best the 2000s has to offer. I remember when “K-On” came out and people really hyping it up, but I just never got around to it. What impresses me about this anime is how it left a very noticeable impact on not just Kyoani as a studio, but on anime in general. This anime isn’t even ten years old and there’s already proof that its left its mark. The moe boom was a big thing and I understand there’s people who don’t like that kind of anime, but what I have seen has been very enjoyable. In between this and “Tamako Market” I can’t decide which one I prefer, but they’re very close and incidentally both are made by the same team. Naoko Yamada making an anime like this when she was just in her 20s is still impressive to me, especially with how much of an improvement the second season was. Season one was great and a lot of fun, but it was season two that really brought it to a new level. The animation got a lot better and I feel like the episodes themselves had a little extra something to them. Everything just felt elevated. A lot of people seem to hate anime like this and I’m just not going to agree with them. Especially with all of the misinformation regarding these types of shows. “K-On” is about a group of girls in their school’s light music club and watching them connect, its not a skeevy fanservice show designed to sell itself to otaku that live in their mother’s basement and don’t bathe. This anime was a big hit and had a large female audience in Japan because people enjoyed these characters and its humor. They could relate to them and share in the fun experiences they have. When you watch this anime you really feel this sense of camaraderie among the girls and feel like they’ve grown once you reach its finale. Something as simple as that still makes for a great show. Big epic shonen anime aren’t this end all be all. I say this as someone who really loves shonen anime and manga, while its the most popular kind out there it isn’t the only type that matters. A big theme with the anime I discussed in this post is I don’t need a big sweeping plot if the characters pick up the slack and entertain me. This cast does that and then some. I loved these girls and seeing their banter and what they were up to. I loved seeing them grow and I loved seeing them perform. I enjoyed every minute of it. That being said its also an anime that knew when to stop. We really did not need a third season where the girls were in college. This felt like a complete experience and I look forward to revisiting it in the future.

So I said “Made in Abyss” seems to be most people’s favorite anime of the year. Well for me personally after rewatching “Little Witch Academia” its mine. I watched the first two episodes and immediately went and watched the 2013 movie and the 2015 OVA. As I was watching the episodes when they came out I was surprised to see that it was giving more of a slice of life feeling in favor of a more plot heavy tone. This is something I love about it now, but at the time I expected it to have a structure like “Kill la Kill” and midway through I stopped watching every week but fully intended on coming back when it ended. And I did and I loved it. The choice to adopt this type of writing works in favor with it and yet when its bigger plot does kick in it doesn’t feel out of place like the one in the finale for “Miss Kobayashi’s Dragon Maid” did. And it was so much fun that I watched it all again recently. This world and these characters are just so charming. Akko is one of the best protagonists in recent years, Sucy and Lotte are adorable and play off of Akko fantastically, Diana has great development, Chariot was very likeable, Croix is actually I villain I cared about. I wanted to know more about her. The problem with Ragyo from “Kill la Kill” is she was so evil that I didn’t want to know more about her, it felt like all I needed to know was she was evil and had an amazing theme song, but Croix genuinely had me intrigued. Something I want to give the anime major credit for, especially from Trigger, is they chose not to make this sexual. There is no sexy fanservice, we don’t see up the girl’s skirts when they ride their brooms, Croix is fully clothed, even Chariot’s costume in her performances isn’t actually sexual despite it being a bustier style top, after something as in your face as “Kill la Kill” I’m happy they went the opposite route and gave us something that I believe all ages can enjoy. You could show this to a kid and not have to worry about them seeing something trashy. The voice cast is great too. Megumi Han as Akko is just as fantastic as she was as Gon in the 2011 “Hunter x Hunter” anime. Diana’s seiyuu Yoko Hikasa was Mio in “K-On” and she is just great at capturing that haughty tone Diana required. Junko Takeuchi the once and eternal Naruto blew my mind as Croix. I never would have guessed that was the same voice actress as him. Granted this was the first time I ever heard her voice a woman, I’ve only heard her play boys, but she hit it out of the park. And hearing Noriko Hidaka was a real treat. She voiced Akane in “Ranma 1/2″ and Kikyo in “Inuyasha” and it just felt good hearing her voice someone like Chariot. The creator of the series Yoh Yoshinari has said he’d like to continue the franchise with a new season and even showed interest in a spinoff about Chariot or Lotte’s “Night Fall” books. I really hope he can do all the things with this that he wants to do. People did crowdfund this series so we know for a fact people wanted it and came back to tune in when it aired. And I hope as the years go by more people discover this anime because I truly think it captures a lot of things people want anime to do.

At Anime Boston in 2015 I saw this AMV and immediately knew this is something I had been overlooking for far too long. “Yu Yu Hakusho” is my favorite anime I’ve seen all year. Its probably strange to other people to find out there’s people who haven’t seen it, but some of us did not have the luxury of getting Cartoon Network growing up. I went into this anime very blind, I didn’t know anything about its plot. What I expected was this monster hunter type of story, essentially I expected “Hunter x Hunter” meets “Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure”. I did not get that, but I’m very happy with what I was given instead. Let’s start with the fact that it has the best introduction to any character ever. I love seeing how protagonists get introduced. "Yu Yu Hakusho”, your protagonist is fucking dead. That’s honestly so amazing that I applaud Togashi for coming up with that. I’m happy the series didn’t drag out the amount of time it took for Yusuke to come back to life, it would have been rather dull I think to center the story around that. Also the day I started watching this anime coincidentally was Easter. Just wanted to share that. Watching this anime there are definitely motifs and ideas comparable to “Hunter x Hunter”, but by no means are they the same story. Gon and Yusuke are near polar opposites and while “Yu Yu Hakusho” never goes as deep as “Hunter x Hunter” did it also manages to pull off things that in other shonen would have pissed me off. I really enjoyed the Dark Tournament episodes. I am someone who isn’t always very engaged when watching fights that drag for episodes on end, but not here. There was just something to it all that felt right, this felt like how a battle tournament arc should be. I was also very happy to see that even in a series like this Togashi was still willing to create characters who are not intended to be placed on a pedestal purely because they’re main characters. In this and in “Hunter x Hunter” he makes it clear to you that your main characters will make mistakes, they will do things that aren’t virtuous, and you are not supposed to ignore them just because these are your main characters. But all of that is fine because your characters need flaws in order to feel dynamic. Just like with its younger brother these are characters you still feel very invested in. Much like “Haikyuu” all your characters are cute. And I really loved seeing all of them grow. Yusuke feels very unique compared to other shonen protagonists, Kuwabara underwent great development, Kurama felt like a character the shonen genre doesn’t have enough of, Hiei was always fascinating. In the hands of someone else Hiei would have been boring and that’s just not acceptable. No one writes characters like Togashi. And this seiyuu cast. Yusuke is voiced by Nozomu Sasaki who was Tetsuo in the film “Akira” and Julian in “Legend of the Galactic Heroes”, Shigeru Chiba who I fucking adore was Kuwabara, Megumi Ogata as Kurama was fantastic, Nobuyuki Hiyama as Hiei was perfect, Mayumi God damn Tanaka was Koenma, there’s so much talent in this cast. I also want to give the series credit for including some romance. Granted Yusuke and Keiko’s relationship wasn’t handled in depth like say Kagome and Inuyasha’s, but it does develop and feel believable. I was so happy seeing them kiss in the end especially after everything Keiko saw him get involved with. The fact that she wasn’t in the dark about everything was also appreciated. i know her involvement in the plot was only so much, but I liked that she wasn’t out of the picture entirely. In between this anime and “Hunter x Hunter” its really difficult to say which one I like the most, but I will honestly say that “Yu Yu Hakusho” is one of the greatest shonen anime in history. It might even be the best in history. It accomplishes all of the things I expect from a shonen while at the same time providing me with plenty of surprises and concepts I did not see coming. Arigatou gozaimasu.

#oh no a personal post

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alexistitania · 7 years ago

Text

Good day, I really enjoyed the end of Fairy Tail!

I didn’t want to post anything before a decent translation was out, and I believe I was right in doing so. There’s only so much a panel can convey with no text to accompany it. By reading the translated version I got a better insight into what was happening, though I pretty much already got the gist from the spoilers.

Do keep in mind that the official release is next week, so my opinion is based on a fan translation. But no matter, I don’t think much will change when I read the official translation. Just some minor details, but it won’t change my mind drastically in any way.

Anyway, like a lot of fans, I’ve been emotional all day, listening to the Fairy Tail OST, rewatching the OPs and EDs and recalling some of my favorite scenes. And now I’ve calmed down a bit (but just a bit, I’m pretty much yelling everything I’m typing right now but I want to keep this post clean so I’m not using caps), and am finally able to properly talk about the final chapter, and my final thoughts.

I don’t normally do reviews or anything, but I felt like I should make an exception this one time, since Fairy Tail has been a big part of my life since 2012, if I remember correctly. This post will be me trying to sort out my thoughts and let out all my feels, so it will be pretty personal, but I’ll try to look at things from different angles. Still, this is just my opinion, so I might get a bit biased talking about a few things, but of course, you are free to agree or disagree. So I’ll just be letting out all my thoughts on the conclusion of a series that has been dear to me for years.

Keep in mind though, if you’re willing to read this trough to the end: it is LONG AF! So just that down.

More babbling under the cut.

THAT CANONIZATION STUFF

This is a hot topic right now, so I’ll start with a few words about the whole shipping situation. A lot of people stuck with the series until the end for the ships, so I know they were disappointed because there was no timeskip or next gen or kisses or weddings. I can understand that. All shippers want that, and it’s what shippers got with Naruto and Bleach, so it’s pretty much what we were given to expect from the final chapter of Fairy Tail as well.

But reading the chapter, I couldn’t help but feel satisfied with the way it turned out. Mostly.

See, the good thing about this ending is that NO SHIPS WERE SUNK. Literally, not a single one. (Ok so maybe Miraxus was kinda sunk, based on Yonkou’s translation, but that’s only Lucy’s impression ;) it’s all cool guys.) If anything, most have been canonized or heavily implied, even without kisses or actual confessions. As a shipper, you may be disappointed about your ship “not sailing” but, really, it all depends on your interpretation. Shipping is not about proving to your fandom that you were “right”, it’s about that nice feeling your ship gives you, regardless of how canon it is.

Sure, canon is freaking great. I get absolutely ecstatic when my ship becomes canon. But I don’t need canonization to believe in my ship in my heart. I’ve been on both the losing and the winning side of shipping, so I’d say this type of ending is a good compromise. Because you know, people will get stressed over ships one way or another, and there are also a lot of people who do not actually care about the ships.

This way, it wasn’t all In Your Face, but it was heavily implied. Heavily implied means that you can choose to interpret it in another way. A casual reader will see the “surface”, the obvious, but as a shipper, you can have your own, different interpretation. Mashima gave us that freedom. That’s great in my book. It feels refreshing after Naruto and Bleach.

Personally, I wouldn’t have minded a next gen type of chapter, because it would actually fit the theme of Fairy Tail. In my opinion, it would have done Fairy Tail more good than it did Naruto (I’m not anti-Naruto ending, I’m just saying I would have appreciated that scenario even more in Fairy Tail).

But, that kind of ending wasn’t necessary for me. And I found myself actually not wanting it, after Naruto and Bleach. I wanted something different, not a copy-paste ending of those two. Again, I wouldn’t have complained either way, but I still prefer it the way Mashima did it.

Now, I’m one of the people who ship the main four: Nalu, Gruvia, Jerza and Gajevy. And guess what? I’m satisfied with how they were treated in the final chapter.

Let’s see what we got.

GAJEVY: Ok so, just stating the obvious here. Gajevy has been canon since Gajeel’s confession in the Alvarez arc. Among other things, there was even a panel of them with their children, the twins. I’m pretty sure there was even a light novel about the twins. Mashima considered it canon even back then. So yeah, this ship has been canon for a while actually. Hell, we even got that one panel of them kissing in Juvia’s fantasy. That was no coincidence. A real kiss or a confession in the final chapter would’ve been welcome, but it wasn’t absolutely necessary to cement their romantic relationship. I’d even say Mashima’s way of developing them in the final chapter was better than a kiss. Levy whispered something in Gajeel’s ear, and we can 100% trust Wendy’s hearing, the girl definitely heard something juicy. But from Lucy, we only know there was the word “baby”. So Levy probably said something about them having a baby/babies soon. I see this as Mashima’s subtle way of reminding us, not even confirming, reminding us of Gajevy’s relationship, a relationship that has gotten physical during the one year timeskip. Now Levy is supposedly pregnant, with the twins. I couldn’t believe it when they just casually disappeared after that and Lily wondered where they were. My guy, you know where they are and exactly what they’re doing lol. In any case, I can understand the disappointment about them not kissing onscreen, but like I said, to me, this was even better. And we have no right to complain about there being no confession; we already got one from Gajeel, and Levy has had an obvious crush on him since pretty early on in the series. This ship is good. Let’s not be greedy.

JERZA: Now, with Jerza I can totally understand the disappointment. The disappointing part was not the lack of canonization, but the lack of any interactions at all. I agree that Jerza deserved an actual interaction, not even necessarily outright canonization. In that respect, Jerza got the short end of the stick. I honestly expected Mashima to make an entirely indulgent chapter with actual Jerza moments with just the two of them. But, thinking about it, I think I understand where he’s coming from. Looking back, I even feel like there’s a kind of poetry to it. You’re laughing now, but hear me out. As far as I’m concerned, Jerza has been canon since their Almost Kiss and the famous “I have a fiancée” fiasco. That was years ago. It’s canon in terms of mutual affection, not an official relationship, but hey, they’re getting there, it’s the feeling that matters. Sometimes life is complicated and you can’t just be with the person you love just like that, especially if said person is a criminal. Jellal and Erza’s relationship has been complicated from the beginning, but I think we can all agree they deserve to be happy after everything. Now, with Jellal being absolved of all his crimes, there’s finally hope for them. The way Jellal says “Live” with that pensive expression, you can tell he’s thinking about Erza, a life with Erza, it’s all over his face. And the scene cuts to Erza. Fitting. I interpreted the part where Lucy talks about Erza brushing her hair every day as Erza finally being able to meet with Jellal regularly, so that’s why she’s trying to look her best for him. I find that somewhat bittersweet, like their entire relationship. And while I am a bit let down we didn’t get actual interactions, after not getting much focus in the second half of the series, the romantic in me sees a sort of poetry in this. In Jerza always being driven apart, right till the very end. (Yeah, I’m bullshitting this, but honest to God, this really is how I feel about it.) Just a side note, because I don’t want to make this about other ships from other fandoms, but, without naming anyone, I’ll just say I ship that one ship in Naruto that is always driven apart by the hands of destiny. I’m a sucker for that. So, while I craved Jerza interactions, I can’t deny that my masochistic side was giddy with this outcome. I feel kinda bad for feeling this way though. Again, that’s just me. But I totally understand all the fuss about it. There was the whole buildup for a wedding with Erza’s wedding dress too...

GRUVIA: This chapter actually turned out really cute for Gruvia and only further cemented their relationship. Ok, so we didn’t get a kiss or a sweet Gray, but we got a jealous Gray? Also the Gray who smiles lovingly when Juvia puts her arms around him in that cover (yay). In my heart, Gruvia has been canon since their double suicide in the Alvarez arc, mostly because of what Gray said about wanting to protect Juvia, and because of all the implications that lovers’ suicide puts around their characters. Many fans thought Gray’s behavior would somehow change drastically after that. I never thought it would, but I knew they’d eventually be together, and Gray would still be tsundere about it. And I’m fine with that. That’s IC in my book. But there is a crucial difference this time. This time, Gray isn’t pushing Juvia away, or running away from her, or getting embarrassed by her advances. This Gray drags Juvia away from the party when she gets too drunk and attracts Gildart’s attention with the stripping habit she picked up from Gray himself (oh, the irony). The entire conversation that follows is really heartwarming, and it shows us that there really has been a shift in their relationship. What with Gray saying that about her body being his (as a lover, nothing possessive). It just conveys genuine care for Juvia and her well-being, I am thankful for that. So, all in all, the Gruvia interactions in the chapter were still pretty much in the typical Gruvia fashion, but there were some important changes on Gray’s part. You could clearly see he was more comfortable around her now, and more open about her “belonging” to him (for the lack of a better term). And honestly, that was only natural. After all, it has been a year since the Alvarez war, and Gray promised Juvia an answer right after the war. This chapter heavily implies that Juvia eventually got a positive answer from Gray. Whether they have actually been in a relationship all this time is somewhat unclear, but if they haven’t, they sure are about to be after what Gray said. And this may be just me, but honestly, from the way he talks about it so openly and gets all flustered about her body being “his” too, my bets are on the already existing relationship. I pretty much see this as a post-Gray’s-answer situation. Of course, a flash forward to ten years later could have given Mashima an opportunity to slightly change Gray’s character towards Juvia, make him more affectionate and less tsundere, but just a year wasn’t enough, in my opinion. Since he decided to stick with the one year timeskip, I truly believe this was the way to go. Their interactions truly warmed my heart. All I ever wanted was a jealous Gray (and slightly possessive in a healthy way). And I got it. I’m happy. This ship is good too, as far as I’m concerned.

NALU: Now, I just want to say Nalu is my favorite OTP in the series. Having said that, I absolutely loved their moments in this chapter. I wasn’t disappointed in the least, and didn’t see their final interaction as a friendzoning thing, not at all. Now, I never expected a kiss. I wouldn’t have complained if I had gotten one, but it would have been a bonus. To be honest, I do feel like a kiss or straight-up canonization in the form of a traditional confession would not only feel OOC, but would also be somewhat awkwardly placed at this point in time. Ten years into the future, sure, something’s bound to come out of it, but right now, Natsu and Lucy don’t need to put labels on their relationship. With all the other ships, I feel like that final romantic touch was necessary (and the final romantic touches we got indeed, if only indirectly in some cases!), because they were strictly romantic from the start, but Nalu is different. What I always loved about them was first and foremost their deep friendship, their deep connection that goes beyond any type of relationship that can be defined with words. That’s why I believe it’s fine if you don’t want to see it as romantic. Maybe you believe it would only ruin them. I personally don’t think so, but I understand why some people would. More than anything, they are the best of friends, dare I say, soulmates, as cheesy as it may sound, and only after that can they be a couple. And even as a couple, they wouldn’t be an ordinary one. In my opinion, Lucy and Natsu are so close that, honestly, they already give off that vibe of an old married couple. They have been giving off that vibe for a while, at least to me. Maybe it started sometime during the Tenrou island arc. But what cemented their bond, for me, was the GMG arc, the second half of it. So I didn’t feel like I needed an outright confirmation of a romance to wholeheartedly believe in this ship. What happened was pretty much how I had hoped things would go down between them in their final scenes together. I’m very pleased with how Mashima handled their moments in the chapter. Not only did Gajeel tease Natsu about liking Anna-sensei because she smells like Lucy (meaning he does see something there), but there was also the beautiful, heartwarming embrace. Natsu’s reaction to Lucy thanking him for being there is to completely disregard it, because he doesn’t want or need her to thank him, he just wants her to be with him, that’s all the “thanks” he wants from her. And he reassures her that from now on, they will be together forever. Now, I might be jumping to conclusions here, but in my book, the promise of forever spoken in this manner isn’t viewed as something very platonic in the Japanese culture, is it? (Reminds me of another ship from another shounen manga where the guy said something similar, you know the one.) Either way, yeah, it is kind of an open ending for them in terms of an actual relationship, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. In my heart, I know that somewhere down the road, it will lead to something even more beautiful. I got Natsu and Lucy going on an adventure again. I got all I wanted.

Having said that, I’m pretty sure Mashima will be writing some extra chapters in the upcoming months. Not necessarily next gen stuff, but just something to keep us hyped until the anime comes back. So we might still see some more shippy scenes, but those are just my own speculations.

Anyhow. Some minor ships here and there too. My heart is full of joy knowing that Erik and Kinana are actually lovers now. I never thought it would happen, but here we are. Elfever is freaking canon too, my boys. Also, Laxus got his own harem, the man scored! He can have ‘em all. Probably missing some ships here, but Max x Broom is still canon af!

Now...

ZERVIS: Or... is it? Technically, yeah. I know this is sort of a Trigger ship for the fandom, you either love it with all your being or you hate it and want to burn your memories of it, there’s no in between. You all know I love Zervis, but I’ll try to be as objective as I can on this one. So they seem to be reincarnated. They now call themselves Arius and Mio respectively. Also, Zeref/Arius mentions how “it’s really hot this August” I see what you did there Mashima. But they will never know. Now, I’ll be frank. While I do love Zervis, their scene wasn’t necessary. You can really see how Mashima favors this ship, the way he favored Jerza in the first half of the story. I loved the closure Zervis got during the war, finally ending their lonely existences, together. And their life force made it possible for Makarov to come back. Thinking back on it, it might have been The One True Magic (read: love) between Zeref and Mavis that brought Makarov back. That was probably the deal with that. Makarov is still traumatized. But anyway. Now, it seems like Zeref and Mavis have been reincarnated. I have no idea how though, or why they are already in their teens when they’re supposed to be babies if it’s only been a year since their death (that’s how reincarnation works, right?). But, I figured it isn’t supposed to make much sense. It’s just there to warm our hearts and give us a 100% happy ending, even though it would have already been 100% happy even without it. It might have even ruined the chapter for some. Not for me though... But yeah, this is just Mashima drawing some self-indulgent panels, can’t say I blame him though. About the reincarnation, in a way, it adds an ironic twist to the curse of Ankhseram. After breaking it the first time, maybe their fate is to get reincarnated over and over again, for all eternity, each time forgetting their past lives, each time falling in love with each other. All that instead of being immortals. It’s kind of poetic, in a way. I would have been fine with them finding eternal peace together though. With the reincarnation, it feels less... epic? But the shipping whore in me is still glad I got to see them happy and carefree for once, as a publisher and an aspiring author, who are sure to both have connections to Lucy in the future due to their careers. It’s like an “In another life” fic. It wasn’t necessary, but I won’t complain.

SO, that’s pretty much how I feel about the ships. Man, that was long. But wait, I’m still not done! I want to talk about a few more things before I go back to crying alone.

LUCY

Lucy deserves a whole paragraph, because she’s my favorite character and I’m just so proud of what she has accomplished over the course of this series. There are few things I would change about her development. I would give her more spotlight at times, but other than that, I absolutely love everything about her and her character development. Even though Natsu is technically the main character, it really did feel at times like it was actually Lucy. She is the narrator. We see the whole story and the characters from her perspective. And she has gone through the most character development in Team Natsu. Feel free to disagree on that one, it’s just my opinion. In my eyes, Lucy is the best character (as much as I love a few of my other babies) and I am so glad to see where she has gotten in this chapter. Props to Lucy for managing to finish that novel with such loud friends around her and Natsu and Happy constantly barging in. That girl, always doing the impossible. Gotta love her. In the first page, we see that her novel is called “The adventure of Iris”. So, in Greek mythology, Iris is supposed to be a messenger of the gods and the personification of the rainbow, linking heaven and earth. Sound familiar? Lucy is a Celestial Spirit Mage who basically acts as a portal between the heavens and earthland. And it is also confirmed by a nameless guest that the heroine, Iris, is indeed based on Lucy and her own adventures. So it’s basically saying that she wrote a story inspired by Fairy Tail and her adventures with them. Just like I always hoped she would! Plus, she got an award for it and the guests are calling her Lucy-sensei. That right there is so important to me like! They will keep calling her Lucy-sensei from now on, because she is now a recognized author. Damn proud. As expected of the Celestial Princess. Absolutely proud of everything she has done throughout the series. And she will keep growing, as a mage, as a writer, and as a person.

Also, I loved how the entire chapter was yet again narrated by Lucy herself. A lot of it focused on romance too. I didn’t mention this in the Nalu section, but I believe all the focus on romance was leading toward the final Nalu moment, with the purpose of setting up that “romantic” mood, so that we’d get the hint even though it wasn’t explicit in the end. Lucy is always getting flustered around couples and is sometimes even jealous of their relationships, but she doesn’t realize that she and Natsu have that too, and more, just without the whole making out thing. And by the end of the chapter, I believe Natsu actually makes her realize that! Just my interpretation though.

THE COVERS

I just got really emotional about the covers too. First, the Jump cover with all the major characters being all #squad goals. The Gruvia bit makes me especially happy, and also Nalu and Wendy being the adorable little family they are. I just wish Levy would get more space lol, poor girl, she smol, Gajeel lift her up, won’t you?

And then the color spread with all the guild members together. I always love those, and there is something particularly nostalgic about this one. The style somehow reminded me of Mashima’s style at the beginning of the series. The coloring style too. I don’t know if that’s what he was going for, but I just had that feeling. Everyone looks so BOMB! But again, why the letters over Levy’s face? The final artbook better fix that.

OTHER THINGS I GUESS

Team Natsu dynamics. Just like old times! Natsu and Gray squabbling and Erza freaking obliterating them. Lucy being embarrassed because her friends have no sense of shame or restraint. Gray stripping, but now Juvia strips too. Romeo understanding nothing about adulthood. So many nostalgic moments, there are so many characters featured in this chapter, I can’t even remember them all.

More importantly, I’m glad Anna stayed in their timeline (not sure if there was even a way for her to get back to hers), and love how she’s a teacher, it’s only fitting. Wish we could have seen more of her interactions with Lucy or her time with Natsu and the other Dragon Slayers. Now, there’s an idea for a short spin-off series! Just sayin’.

Also, Chelia is slowly starting to use magic again! Very happy about that. You can come at me with all your “but it’s unrealistic” flame, I still love that cheese. Absolutely love how Wendy and Chelia are still performing for Lamia Scale! Also, some Chendy for my soul.

Minerva freaking obliterated the rest of her guildmates. Lesson number one about women, never underestimate our voraciousness, especially if we’re used to being on ridiculous diets.

I don’t really understand what happened with Ichiya, but he's exclaiming “MEN” and is apparently the boss of something now so that’s good. It’s the least he deserves after sacrificing his life along with Anna so that Jellal didn’t have to sacrifice his. Even though he would have been brought back as well lol.

And the Mermaid Heel girls are Weekly Sorcerer’s models, somehow I always knew.

Drunk Cana and her sweet, protective dad for my soul.

Makarov is still the guild master, I presume? It’s either him or Laxus now. Even though he can’t move around much nowadays, I kinda feel like the members of the guild would still want him as their master, until the last of his days, or until he passes the baton. That realization is somehow really heartwarming.

Princess Hisui is now Queen Hisui, I love it! She is a good queen, a gentle soul, and she pardoned Jellal and the Oracion Seis. They are finally free to do as they please, after so much suffering, some of them losing their way and finding it again. Thank you Hisui!

Also, just wanna say I appreciate that bit where Hisui pardons Jellal and there’s the transition from his sort-of-smiling face to a sort-of-smiling Erza with her bangs covering her eyes. Right then, Erza whispers “It’s complicated”. And since we, the audience, did not only just see a character whom Erza has a kind of a “complicated” relationship with, but we’re also seeing the whole situation through Lucy’s eyes (with Lucy being concerned about Erza and Jellal’s progress lol), we are bound to connect this to Erza’s relationship with Jellal at first, before she explains she’s actually talking about the book. Mashima being subtle lol.

The timeskip. There was indeed a timeskip, but only like a year. I actually liked that. Long timeskips aren’t necessary for the main story, and would only disrupt its flow at this point. The only major timeskip we ever had was the seven year timeskip after the Tenrou island arc, but our characters didn’t really feel the timeskip on their skins. They just found themselves in a new world. So it pretty much felt like there was no timeskip at all. Maybe a longer timeskip could work for a spin-off series or a special next gen chapter, if we ever get one.

Speaking of, I know a lot of fans wanted a fast-forward to ten years into the future with next gen, but I’m just here, sitting with the 5% of us who didn’t actually want that lol.

I actually used to be one of those fans who wanted to see all my ships married with children ten years into the future, but the closer we got to the final chapter, the more I realized that what I really wanted was for the familiar and loved characters to get some kind of closure. I started wishing for a chapter that would feel like old times. I wanted things to be simple and silly like they used to be at the beginning. I didn’t really want to see all the characters as adults with families and stable lives.

For me, Fairy Tail is an endless adventure. A longer timeskip with everyone going their separate ways to build their own families, even if they’re still part of the guild, would feel like the adventure was interrupted. Like it was over. I still feel like there’s so much more they can do. So many more adventures they could go on, together.

Which brings me to Natsu’s “Grand announcement”.

So I know most of us jumped to the conclusion that it would be something about Lucy, whether as a confession, or a request to go on an adventure together, with romance implied. That mostly came from that one dialogueless chapter featuring Natsu and Gildarts, where Natsu blushed talking about something. To me, the whole “big announcement is a confession” thing was a possibility, but I wasn’t counting on it. Glad about that one. Because it turned out to be something better and so much more symbolic.

They’re going on a 100 Year Quest together! It just holds so much meaning for the end of the story, and for Natsu as a character. Because Gildarts, the man who is the closest thing to a father figure in Natsu’s life after Igneel, once went on a 100 Year Quest. And only top tier mages are allowed to go on such missions. Which speaks volumes, if you consider how the whole Team Natsu was allowed to go, proving, yet again, that they are all hella strong. (My heart is happy for Lucy.) Also worth noting, the 100 Year Quest is a sort of symbol. 100 years is a damn long time, sounds like an eternity. Just like this adventure! Never-ending!

(Also, while they’re at it, might as well search for that Aquarius key, eh eh? It was promised, and so it shall be!)

What I loved about the ending was that it didn’t really feel like much of an ending, somehow? It felt like... the middle. It was definitely a closure, but not the end of their story. It’s still somewhere in the middle, somewhere between the adventures of their lives. It’s great, because if Mashima wishes to ever make a spin-off series or special chapters or any additional material, he has so much to work with, so much to expand on, so much space for work.

In my opinion, this was overall a great ending. Typical Fairy Tail Spirit.

LOVE LETTER TO FAIRY TAIL!

The conclusion wasn’t entirely perfect, for me, but it made me feel all sorts of emotions and I just can’t believe the main story is finally over!

Fairy Tail has been a big part of my life since 2012. I fell in love with the premise of the story and its early arcs, then I fell in love with the characters, and even while this final arc wasn’t much, I stayed for the characters! And I am happy with where they have gotten along the way.

I am so thankful for the memories and everything that this story has made me feel throughout these years! It wasn’t the best story out there, but it meant something to me, it means something to me! And I will forever treasure it!

Whatever new material gets thrown at us, I will never forget the original journey. I will stay here for the anime too, and everything that might follow.

I’m here forever, my dudes.

So that’s all I have to say, for now, I think. I am still so full of feels, but this is what I could put together in my current emotional state.

THANK YOU MASHIMA HIRO-SENSEI! THANK YOU FAIRY TAIL! I WILL NEVER FORGET THE JOURNEY!!!

P.S. Fairies do exist. It’s just.... they don’t have tails. Dangit.

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