#and my headache is killing me
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Soo I wanna talk about my (possibly) chronic illness, because Iām so tired of this.
My reason to self diagnose: I have to self diagnose, my dad doesnāt believe in ādisorders and disabilities (specifically ones like chronic illness, he normalized it in such a horrific way, it made me feel like I was an odd one out when I realized how healthy everyone else is)ā *please donāt hate him, we donāt have money for much things anyways, itās fine*
If you hate self diagnosis, just leave and spare both of us,
For now I wanna talk about what makes me feel like I have chronic illness, and that is literally being sick, Iāll be generally talking about everything painful/tiring that has been affecting me for over a year now..
TW: Mentions self harm/hate, gore, of gag/spit/vomit, dizziness, unease, etc. if you are sensitive to this topic please read at your own risk,,
Letās start, so lately ive been accidentally swallowing mucus, all day, all night, to the point I have to breathe from my mouth, which COMPLETELY destroys my smell and taste. Especially when I get the common cold..
Barely any mucus comes from my nose, itās almost ALWAYS my throat and saliva, to the point I started to think my saliva and mucus have been completely combined now. Like.. literally.
my breath always stinks, minty tastes really sucks and I hate toothpaste, I hate the mint and the texture, Iāve tried some things like these little bottles of meds for the cold, but they NEVER worked.
I almost always have a headache, my heartbeat has went from my normal 60/70bpm to 90/120 min/max.. and I always get voice changes, sometimes too deep, sometimes too high, and sometimes I lose my voice.
AND YOU KNOW WHATS FUNNY?! I LOVE SINGING. ITS LITERALLY MY SPECIALTY, MY ONLY TALENT THAT I CAN DO WITHOUT ABANDONING IT LIKE THE REST OF MY FAILED TALENTS, AND IT FUCKING SUCKS SO MUCH WHEN MY VOICE CHANGES.
Iām sorry.
back to my point, when I cry, I feel like my mucus explodes from everywhere, my throat, nose, eyes, and when I blow my nose too hard it hurts my ears for a while.
Iām so tired, I can barely run, I donāt wanna say I have asthma, but maybe Iām just not energetic and lazy.. or something.. and I CANT. I repeat.. I CANT. SLEEP.
Itās almost physically impossible (unless I stay up for too long to the point I slowly faint to sleep, which has been normal now for me)
did I mention my constipation? (Maybe this isnāt related, Iām just curious what makes someone chronically ill, especially since Iāve had constipation for around a year now)
I canāt sleep, smell, sing, cry (I hate crying so much, itās become so terrifying and horrible) laugh, (cause all the mucus chokes me and makes me gag and almost vomit.
oh how I wish I could just rip out my throat and replace my nose and throat for a working one. How I wish I could breathe normally, to smell, to sing properly, to walk properly without my legs hurting or straining, to laugh and cry without choking and gagging, spitting mucus in the bathroom for what seems like 30 minutes, to think properly without a headache, to feel NORMAL again. Itās been a year or two now. Cant I just feel like a normal person again?
God why do I turn everything into a fucking vent.
Edit: does this mean I am chronically ill?
#Iām slowly losing myself#and my headache is killing me#you guys are the only people who can help#Iām so sick of myself#I donāt want to cry#chronic#chronic ill#chronically ill#chronic illness#chronic disability#chronic fatigue#chronic pain#Chronically fatigue#chronically in pain#vent#im tired
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quick Vi doodle, i have no excuse idk how to draw her tattoos
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#ive been dealing with a lot of body pain that has been killing me lately so i decided to project onto mikey#pats him . this old turtle can hold so much chronic pain#hes just like me fr.#the kids call it quiet days when mikeys headache is absolutely killing him and they just want to help and make him feel better#by not making much noise those days#peepaw and babies au#tmnt the last ronin#tlr lost years#tmnt mikey#tmnt michelangelo#tmnt donnatello#tmnt donnie#tmnt uno#my art#doodles
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He is literally me
#iancu sketches#iancu insanity#sims2#sims fanart#nervous subject#nervous subject sims 2#strange town#strangetown#the sims 2#the sims community#the sims#simblr#idk what im on rn#my headache is killing me rn but ermmm
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"At a time when my life felt scattered and incomplete, the fantasy world of The Parent Trap, and the warm and maternal presence of Chessy, provided me with a dream of gluing the pieces of it together. The film, though not explicitly queer, still provides a sort of utopia of queer acceptance, connection and love.Ā [...] Some days I still think that maybe all I need is a hug from Lisa Ann Walter and I will be all right." - Michael Elias (x)
Lisa Ann Walter as Chessy in The Parent Trap (1998)
#chessy#lisa ann walter#the parent trap#filmgifs#filmedit#my gifs#i love her so so much#she'll always be my comfort character#and oh gOD i'd kill to get a hug from Lisa she seems like she gives great hugs#she could fix me#also my GOD making these gave me a headache because of the colors i'm never giffing old movies again LOL#also tomorrow we go back to Melissa posts at night it's already up and ready on the queue didn't want to post two gifsets so close together#notsosecretlyalesbian.gifs#notsosecretlyalesbian.law.gifs#notsosecretlyalesbian
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enies lobby
original
#rushing 2 make this in like an hour because my headache is going to kill me#one piece#2023#franky#robin#suggestive#id in alt#sillies#+color
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ok. all i could manage today. falls over
#notice how hes rigthanded and then noah does one bunny forhim#also killing me how noahs initials are nl........the netherlands..........fuck.....................................#im so shivering and cold yet warm and headache and my eyes hurt im for real goingto fucking die. i think.
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This was fun!
(also don't get me wrong, electro characters are super OK. It's just that somehow I don't feel like there's one that quite does it for me yet, you know;;; it felt wrong to put just anyone along my other #1s)
Template from here <3
#Genshin Impact#Genshin fanart#favourite characters#my art#THERE IS TOO MANY FOR ME TO TAG ALL#I'm too lazy and I have a headache#what are y'all's favs??? also please don't judge my questionable taste#it is what it is#(I wish I could draw more these days but anxiety is killing me)
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eeueueuggh
#my art#ethoslab fanart#etho fanart#my misophonia is killing me today so i just startsd blaring music on my headphones and drawing and now i have a headache#but at least i did art š#and its etho because of course it is#man wears a mask. means i dont have to draw a mouth. beautiful#im gonna nap now goodbye
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Some people really shouldn't be allowed to drive. Someone hit me with the car from behind so back to feeling shitty I go (so tired of this istg)
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[ 7/100 Melee ] [ 1 STR ] 16 Strikes.
Congratulations Mr. Sallow for your promotion to the top of Dr. Antyllus' shit list! He promises to study up on this bloodthirst thing you've recommended and come back in 30 more levels.
Here's a short drabble.
#2024 nv playthrough#my art#my ocs#oc: JS Antyllus#fallout#crouching beside Benny just an hour earlier and telling him he'd do this one thing for Caeser then get him out#proceeds to be not allowed to leave unless he kills him#promises to make it quick then does a really bad job at that#going places in order of muse priority really makes for some moments#'This place sucks Arcade everyone is crazy and I have a newfound hatred of wastelanders'#I had more surrounding this whole event I wanted to draw but a tension headache yesterday knocked me tf out early
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haven't drawn lesbians lately. I hope you'll forgive me lesbians
#tw eyestrain#idk what i was doing this#just wanted to draw the girls at their wedding#my art#art#fanart#doodle#monster high#clawdeen wolf#draculaura#i usually love eyestrain (if my main url doesnt make it obvious enough) but i have the worst headache rn so it killed me making this lol
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love thinking kipperlilly spends her afterlife looking for lucy in a familiar forest
#not art#fhjy#fhjy spoilers#like. does she have a mean of knowing lucy and yolanda got sent to cassandra's domain to hang out for a bit#kipperlilly's isolation means so much to me. she is punished for everything she's done she just doesn't pick up on it#until the moment she dies! one more funky thing that mirrors riz in which he's actively tried to cultivate a community and denied it#until the bad kids. while kipperlilly does not want or care about a community she just wants someone who validates her#but she does Need a community so she latches onto the person she lets closer to her to fulfill her emotional needs#she took the ritual willingly so this might genuinely be her first death. probably terrifying#probably not even enough bandwidth to feel mortified. maybe immediately seeking something comforting out of instinct alone#lmao honestly thinking too much abt fantasy high afterlifes gives me a headache And a visceral fear#Im not religious but I grew up in a culture with a dominantly buddhist/taoist cosmology its Scary that u just go to A Place after u die!!#and then ur still urself!!! thats scary to me what do u mean u stay like that forever. thats fucked#but yeah I think this influences how I see kipperlilly turn out a little bit. in a sense I think of her as being a ghost now#yknow. trying to solve something from life so she can move on and. stop living this life etc#man the reveal that lucy took being killed pretty seriously and is like yeah the others are decent and even sweet#and probably was just trying to hold her party together and do what she thinks is moral by hearing kipperlilly out#lol lmao etc. gods I gotta wonder how kipperlilly's mindset handled jawbones' help#it really is damn tragic tho. I stand by what I said folks like this will complain and be nasty to be around#but they dont have enough desire to inconvenience themselves to off the bat do something abt what they find unfair or whatever#its when theyre handed the seemingly very easy means to be right that they'll start being dangerous#its horribly tragic that the supposed metaplayer and the self-perceived mastermind turned out to ultimately be just an useful idiot#yknow what. I think personally in my heart kipperlilly moves on from her afterlife the moment she says sorry#doesnt even have to be to lucy but that's probably gonna be who received it#ah.... teenage rebellion. teenage gamejacking
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Was trying to figure out some of the prodigy time traveling by visualizing itā¦.
and realized I sounded familiarā¦..
It was only a matter of time before I turned into this crazy bastard
#captain Braxton my beloved#I understand you fully now#prodigyās timeline stuff is low key driving me insane lol#now I know why chakotay failed temporal mechanics 101#and why it gives janeway a headache š¤#star trek prodigy spoilers#star trek prodigy#prodigy s2#prodigy season 2#prodigy#j&c's faces are killing me in those shots š#cause thats exactly the face im making š
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Is there a lil sneak peek of Old Habits Die Screaming you could share with us? I so can't wait for the next chapter!
you may have a little sneak peek š«¶
āYou thought about me?ā Max asks quietly.
He pushes himself off where heās been resting on Maxās chest, the warm summer air filling the gaps where he used to be. Daniel watches as the corner of Maxās lips pull down, brows furrowing, before he manoeuvres Max to lay on top of him, his head resting in between the crook of Danielās neck and shoulder.
A tiny, miniscule part of his brain is screaming at him to run, probably planted from the years of scars grown from overattachment. His teeth burrow under the skin of everyone heās ever loved before theyāre ripped out by his own hand.
#daniel team principal au#maxiel#five writes#five answers#no one will be happier than me when this chapter leaves my docs. given me twenty headaches and made me change the plot at least three times#and the thing is weāre nearly at 4k and i still donāt have a coherent pieceā¦ this is meant to go out in a week im going to need prayers#like we are going to get there but the journey has killed me you know what i mean
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#this man always comes in with the most off-putting vibes ever#like is he never tired of being a huge headache#also his shadow falling on ama like a cartoon villain spooked the fuck out of me ngl#can they kill Him instead of ama (because i feel like Someone will die in this series)#CAN HE LEAVE AMA ALONE GODDDDDD#jack and joker u steal my heart#jack and joker the series
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