#I had more surrounding this whole event I wanted to draw but a tension headache yesterday knocked me tf out early

[tevintersnakes]

[ 7/100 Melee ] [ 1 STR ] 16 Strikes.

Congratulations Mr. Sallow for your promotion to the top of Dr. Antyllus' shit list! He promises to study up on this bloodthirst thing you've recommended and come back in 30 more levels.

Here's a short drabble.

[flickeringart]

Minor aspects

While the nature of the major aspects in astrology is quite straightforward and has been covered more than sufficiently, there’s still a lot of fog surrounding the nature of the minor ones. There are a lot of minor aspects that can be taken into consideration when interpreting a chart… however, since they are labeled minor they won’t be as obvious and much more difficult to spot in one’s own life. Note that this doesn't mean that they aren't impactful. There’s a lot of speculation and vague terms used when describing them. It seems that every minor aspect is said to have a “spiritual/creative dimension” as if that is supposed to clear up any of the mystery surrounding them. Perhaps, on one level, we don’t want to pin them down too much because certainty is the enemy of exploration. Or perhaps it’s the case that the aspects themselves don’t want to be pinned down? There’s an appeal in keeping certain things mysterious in our lives, to avoid defining and putting rigid labels on phenomena. It makes life alive and beautiful. Many people dismiss astrology is because they are afraid that they’re going to be reduced to a set of characteristics and have their personality mapped up to the point of being able to predict and foresee patterns of behavior and fated themes. The fear of knowledge is not irrational; it is probably healthy to an extent. Knowing too much can be dangerous and rob life of its magic. “Curiosity killed the cat”, as the saying goes. However, this is not the whole truth because curiosity also leads to expansion and better understanding, so let’s not be afraid to concretize these aspects, it's not the same as "killing" their potential. Life is never completely in our hands anyway, there's no risk of knowing it all.

Quintile (72°)/Bi-quintile (144°)

These aspects are said to have something to do with individual style and quality of creative work. It is suggested that these aspects say something about a mental-creative process of imposing one’s mind on a particular subject. It is also linked to talent and gifts the individual would possess that have not been actively learned. Basically, it seems to be indicative of the particular way a person would approach a subject. For example, the quintile would not describe the activity itself - the activity could be painting, knitting, running, cleaning or whatever – the quintile/bi-quintile would point to the way the person approaches the activity.

For example, Ted Bundy (whose chart I’ve explored a bit here), has Neptune bi-quintile the MC. Neptune, being the planet of illusion hints to Bundy’s quality of being a chameleon, deceiving the public as part of his personal style.

Prince Harry, (whose chart I’ve touched upon before), has his Moon bi-quintile Neptune. The Moon can be indicative of the mother figure, and his mother Princess Diana certainly had an elusive style and charm that was a bit deceptive and seductive. Of course, he would have the same thing going in his own life but it would perhaps be difficult for us to spot. He also has Moon quintile Venus and he definitely has a style/quality of emotional-physical comfort. He has Pluto quintile the AC, which would point to a style of showing up in the world that is powerful and intense. He has a tendency to come off as destructive and chaotic at times. There’s also a quintile aspect forming between Mercury in the 8th house and the MC which would hint to a public image that is colored by the “taboo” things he has said about his family in the recent present, but also in the past. He’s a public image that is aligning with the style of the playful amoral trickster.

As I’m going with charts I’ve already explored, let’s look at the quintiles in Meghan Markle’s chart. Her Venus is quintile Uranus and it perfectly describes her style of “wokeism”, that is, appearing to be objective and intelligent about feelings and affective values. She has a style of being “the loving humanitarian”. Whether she is this way in an actual sense is debatable. The quintile aspect is describing the quality and style not the actuality. But, it is disturbingly close to reality that it somehow becomes reality. It’s like the actor who adopts another energy signature in order to portray a different person. It doesn’t really matter if a person is rotten at the core - if he has a loving way of being, what difference does it make? The style is real enough to not reflect and give the impression of love.

Semi-square (45°) / Sesquiquadrate (135°)

These aspects are said to precipitate events. The nature of these two aspects is more immediate than the square aspect (which causes tension and doubt and needs constant navigation). The conflict represented is usually unconscious and is therefore not easy to identify. However, as these conflicts tend to manifest quite abruptly, we can take a look at the concrete problems the person faces. The planets connected by a semi-square/sesquiquadrate aspect will be in conflict but force some kind of release (that may result in an accident because of it’s autonomous/unconscious function).

I have Saturn sesquiquadrate my Moon. Since I tend to unconsciously block my emotional responses, the pressure builds and I am “forced” to get out of a situation, “forced to listen to my emotions”. I have encountered the theory that the sesquiquadrate in particular is manifesting as something that is looked down upon societally. This would make sense considering the aspect forces a breakout of one of the planets and nothing that is immediate and abrupt is ever favorably looked upon when it comes to social-societal structure and predictability. I have been meaning to take on commitments that would further my status in society in terms of formal education (Saturn in the 9th conjunct the MC) but I have not been able to do it without considerable decline in my emotional well-being. So, I have been “thrown out” by unconscious forces every time I’ve tried.

My sister has her Venus sesquiquadrate Saturn. She’s known for her deliberate and strategic way of dressing. She plans her outfits carefully, there’s nothing haphazard about the way she presents herself. However, she has Lilith conjunct Venus so she can push the limits and simply do what she pleases sometimes as well when the pressure of Saturn becomes too much. But, this often causes external judgment. A relative of mine has her Sun semi-square Venus. I can tell that she’s highly aware of her appearance. She is very pretty but there’s always something that is a bit off between what she wears and her self-expression. It’s like it doesn’t quite fit and it’s irritating.

To get back to the celebrities, Meghan Markle has Neptune sesquiquadrate Mercury. Is it possible that this forces distortion and vagueness in opinion and communication? It would certainly fit the bill. She also has Uranus sesquiquadrate Mars. She simply has to “break out of her confining situations”, cut people out of her life and move on in her own way. Uranus is also sesquiquadrate her MC, which seems to point to her unconscious pull to “do what she wants to do” at the detriment of her public image and reputation. Notably, Uranus sits in her 5th house of personal enjoyment and creation.

Prince Harry has a semi-square between Mars and Pluto. When he is angry it blossoms into rage and he can’t see straight. It has gotten him into quite a lot of trouble and societal-social disapproval. It seems that this is a common theme with the sesquiquadrate and semi-square. He also has his Moon sesquiquadrate Jupiter. Isn’t it the case that he tends to indulge in a way that makes him look bad in society?

Quincunx (150°)

This aspect is typically found between planets incompatible by element and mode. Basically, they have nothing in common and have a hard time cooperating, which will cause minor stress in the individual because of necessity to work around the incompatibilities. The planets are not in direct conflict but they are uncomfortable with each other.

For example, I have my Moon quincunx Mercury. Every time I sit down to write I’m mildly disturbed by little things like an aching back, a headache, restless legs or whatever. It’s not very comfortable for me but I can still keep with it, however it might take a toll on me health wise. The quincunx has been related to health issues because of the mild stress that it causes. It is manageable and one is usually able to cope with the stress, but it’s not very pleasant. Because it is not as demanding as more disturbing conflicts in one’s life, it’s in the background causing irritation.

Meghan Markle’s Venus makes a quincunx aspect to her MC. This suggests that she has a hard time reflecting her value on a public level, it’s as if how she’s perceived publicly disturbs her sense of ease and comfort. She has an Aries MC with a Virgo Venus and she’s continuously depicted as a bully these days, as some kind a selfish and aggressive bitch (the more negative attributes of Aries). This must be undermining her self-worth immensely, however, it’s perhaps too minor of a problem to do anything about. It is still there nonetheless, harping on in the background, breaking her down and causing slow disintegration…

Semi-sextile (30°)

Planets forming semi-sextile aspects are said to be able to aid each other, to have a better connection than if they had no link at all. Usually one planet is in the sign that comes before the sign of the other; in other words, a semi-sextile might be forming between Mars in Aries and Venus in Taurus. The semi-sextile usually connects consecutive sign like this, but planets could be in semi-sextile in the same sign, like Mars in 0° Taurus semi-sextile Venus in 30° Taurus. In any case, the planet placed at an earlier degree or in the earlier sign can draw on qualities of the planet in the later degree or the later sign and vice versa. For example, Prince Harry’s Venus in Libra is semi-sextile his MC. He can draw on his sense of harmony a diplomacy to benefit his public image. His Mars in Sagittarius is also semi-sextile his MC, which makes it so that he can draw from his Martial qualities of energy and action to influence his career and success.

Parallel/Contra-parallel

These are called aspects in declination because they are measured by latitude and not by longitude. This essentially means that two planetary bodies can aspect each other in a certain way measuring the distance between them north-south of the celestial equator. Two planets at the same degree north and south of the equator form a parallel aspect and can be interpreted the same as a conjunction (some say that it's more obscure like a quincunx/semi-square). Two planets opposite each other north and south form a contra-parallel aspect and can be interpreted as an opposition (some say that it's basically the same as the parallel though).

I have found, looking at my own chart that these aspects only confirms already existing aspects measured by longitude or it confirms the sign that a specific angle is in. For example, my MC is in Aries and it is also parallel Mars. Mars is the ruler of Aries so it emphasizes my already martial MC. My Sun is conjunct Saturn and it’s also parallel Saturn. My sister has a Scorpio MC and it’s also parallel Pluto, the natural ruler of Scorpio. For example, my sister has a wide Moon-Mars conjunction (6°) but they are also in contra-parallel. How is this supposed to be interpreted? I would simply see it as Moon-Mars is connected strongly despite the orb being a little wide with the conjunction.

However, it’s not always the case that parallel and contra-parallel aspects only confirms already existing influences. They can also add themes and connections. My sister doesn’t have any longitude aspects between Saturn and Uranus but they are contra-parallel to each other.

Septile (51.43° - a 1/7 of the 360°)

It is said to indicate a hidden flow of energy between the planets involved, an inner sensitivity to the spiritual dimension of the planets. Another description I have come across is that the planets “darkly interact” and there’s an occult theme surrounding the connection.

I have Venus septile Jupiter in my own chart. Going by the said method of interpretation, it would mean that I have sensitivity to the hidden wealth and underlying beauty and abundance in life. I think it is quite accurate.

Novile (40° - 1/9 of the 360°)

Is said to be describing a contact of perfection/idealization. It also seems to have something to do with spiritual awakening and growth, lack of fear and freedom.

Having Sun novile Saturn for example could be interpreted as a feeling of communion with the world and life itself through responsibility and the control one can exercise through self-expression.

----

There are of course other minor aspects to explore, but I'll stop here for now.

[noctualilith]

The Way You Speak

Like many good things in life, a convo that sparked this idea happened on our beloved Hazelnoots Discord Server Of Love And Inspiration. This fic was then written over three months live directly on the server. Now it is finished and I can release it into the wilderness of the Internet! 

So the roster says about Nado ‘Rival with Evgeni for most pick ups on the team’ My brain: They live together, right? So they hear each other have fun all the time. Coughthreesomescough. Tell me I'm wrong I challenge you. 

Nuny own my whole heart. A slightly alternate universe, a slightly different getting together story.

Sweater Weather universe and the characters of Kuny and Nado and the ‘I love the way you speak’ line by the wonderful @lumosinlove

My eternal gratitude for grammar stuffs and beta belongs to @tetedump

cw: explicit smut with feelings, mentions of alcohol in the beginning, mentions of food towards the end

word count: 12,8k

Jackson was squinting into the light of the open fridge, pondering the snack choices, when the door of the apartment crashed open. "Kuns, that you?" 

"Hello Nado! Have guest!" 

Closing the fridge with a sigh, Jackson wandered to the hall to greet his friend, only to find him locking lips with a gorgeous brunette, pressing her against the door, oblivious to their surroundings.

"Uh, hi, um-- have fun? I'll... be in my room. Yeah. With headphones on," he stammered, backing up slowly.

The gorgeous brunette peeked around Kuny's shoulder at his words and extended her hand towards him, stopping his retreat. "Hello, gorgeous, and you are?"

Kuny noticed him too and broke into a huge smile immediately. "I introduce! This my best friend! Best man, best teammate! Jackson, meet Jackie."

Jackie looked him up and down slowly, her gaze rooting him to the spot. She narrowed her eyes and looked between Kuny and him a few times, then nodded to herself as if she had solved a riddle that they themselves were not even aware of. "Hi Jackson. Nice to meet you." A wink, an outstretched hand, and Jackson was nothing but polite when he stepped closer to shake her hand, instead of away, far far away.

He could smell the familiar scent of Kuny's cologne, and the sweet tang of sweat underneath, could almost taste it and something low in his belly twisted and pulled. He kept his eyes locked with Jackie, but all his focus was on Kuny, he could see him in his periphery, feel his gaze on the side of his face. It was hot in here, wasn't it? Maybe he should open the window for a bit, get some air in-- 

"Jackson, would you like to join us for a drink? I was promised the real Russian vodka, the hard stuff," Jackie smirked as she turned to Kuny and raised her eyebrows. 

The answering smile spread slowly across Kuny's face and it was wicked. Oh god. Nado's mouth was dry all of a sudden, as he searched the face of his friend for clues as to what the next best move was. 

Kuny cocked his head in his direction. "You want?" The question seemed to contain more than just an invitation for a drink and Nado found himself nodding even before he processed the sudden twist of events, at loss for words and starting to sweat when Jackie pulled on his hand that was still in hers from their introduction, Kuny taking his other hand and pulling him towards the kitchen. What the everloving fuck.

"You get glass, I get bottle." He was directed to the cupboard while Kuny opened the freezer and pulled out the bottle of vodka with a triumphant "Zdes!" 

Gathering three shot glasses, Jackson headed to their living room and sat heavily on the couch, still not sure what the invitation meant. They weren't in the habit of introducing their one-night-stands to each other, more like boasting about them the day after and teasing each other about the overheard sounds, the badly hidden hickeys or the occasional forgotten piece of underwear. To say he was nervous was an understatement, but he was also curious. Curious to see where this led, if it was a grand prank or something else entirely. 

A squeal and a bout of laughter from the kitchen tore him from his thoughts. A low murmur of conversation reached his ears and he strained to hear but couldn't understand much beyond the cadence of voices. Questions asked in a husky female voice, and the low purr of Kuny's bass answering them. Jackson could almost see his lips shape the vowels, his accent audible even if he couldn't recognize the words. 

He wiped his sweaty palms on his pants, digging his fingers into his thigh to try and ground himself momentarily. He didn't dare shape the thoughts in his mind around what he hoped would happen next. Better to err on the side of caution and spare himself the embarrassment of probably being wrong. But what if you're right, the voice in his mind whispered. The same voice that never hesitated to comment when his eyes lingered too long on his best friend, like what you see? He did, a lot. That was the whole problem, but what was he going to do about it? Close his eyes and drown it in vodka, seemed like.

Kuny had the ice-cold bottle of vodka already open, drops of condensation running down his forearm as he lifted it up, stopping right in front of Jackson and nodding at him "The good stuff, you know already. The hard stuff. From Russia." Turning to Jackie who was making herself comfortable on the couch, he addressed her almost conspiratory, "he knows good stuff." 

"Oh yeah?" her laugh rang through the room as Kuny poured the clear liquid and distributed the shot glasses, sitting heavily on the other side of Jackson, their thighs pressing together. 

"Na zdrowie." 

Jackson replied in kind, the Russian phrase rolling off his tongue, one of the few he learned and could reproduce without butchering the language. Everything beyond three or four syllables was hopeless, but this one he could do, putting extra effort in rolling the *r* and waiting for the nod of approval from his best friend. 

At the confused look on Jackie's face he explained, "It's like cheers, in Russian." 

"Oh, I see. Well then, cheers, gentlemen!" 

They clinked the glasses together, Kuny still fixing him with his gaze as they downed them at once. Jackie threw her head back and hissed at the burn as the liquor slid down her throat, but Jackson was still caught in Kuny's eyes, staring back as they both swallowed without a sound. 

His eyes were pulled away only by Kuny's tongue darting out and licking a drop of the liquid that caught at the corner of his mouth, Jackson copying the action unconsciously and seeing Kuny's eyes flick down to his mouth. The hot twist low in his belly came back with more insistence and he half-heartedly blamed it on the alcohol, even though he knew the one shot couldn't have done it. 

He almost forgot the other person in the room until she cleared her throat delicately and the both turned to her. She looked between them and then held out her glass. "Who's in for another?"

One shot turned into three and the tension in the air dissipated a little as they downed the liquor, cursing and laughing at the burn. The alcohol helped to shake off the apprehension and Jackson found himself relaxing minutely. 

He still wasn't sure where the evening was headed, this was miles away from the usual situation he'd find himself in - at a club or a bar, one or both of them picking up a date to go home with that night, easy conversation carried by the beat of the music and flow of drinks, hazy on the details in the headache of the following morning. 

This was home and there was a very gorgeous woman on their couch, currently resting her hand on his knee and asking him a question which he totally overheard because his also gorgeous roommate and best friend chose that moment to sling his arm across his shoulders and pull him into his side, jostling them all in the process. "Sorry, what?"

Jackson forced himself to focus on Jackie as she looked at them with an amused smile. He did not like that smile. She looked like she had a plan and when he looked back at Kuny he found that expression mirrored on his face. 

Part of him, the reckless, unbound part that reveled in the thrill of pushing his limits and living life to the fullest, damn the consequences and damn what others would think, that part of him was sat on the edge of the seat just waiting for the situation to unfold and sweep him up into what might be an unprecedented adventure. 

There was another part of him though, the rational, held-back, make sure you understand what's going on before you jump in part and he felt it pound behind his temples, insisting on making a polite but hasty retreat. 

"I'll, uh, leave you two to your evening now. It was lovely to meet you, Jackie. Enjoy the good Russian stuff." He managed to smile and winked at her as he made to stand up, shrugging off Kuny's arm with the movement. 

He didn't get far though, before Kuny caught his hand and pulled him back down. His eyes were dark and so, so earnest when he stared at Jackson and took a breath to say what had been unspoken in the room until that moment, his words clear and unmistakable: "Or-- you could stay. You want stay?"

Jackson's breath stuttered in his lungs, surprised at the question even as he was hoping for it, surprised all the same. Careful what you wish for. "Yeah, yes, I do want to stay." he breathed and turned his hand still in Kuny's grip, closing his fingers around his wrist in return. 

The touch grounded him, the steady pulse under his fingertips reassuring. He looked at Jackie while still holding onto Kuny, his thumb drawing small circles around his wrist bone. "Are you okay with that? I-- We-- this isn't what normally happens and I don't want you to feel uncomfortable in any way so just say the word and I'll go..." 

He trailed off as he watched her run her thumb across her lower lip slowly and then bite on it, smiling at him with all her teeth showing. She looked like a wild cat, all confident, contained power ready to pounce, and he liked it, liked the anticipation of her next move, especially with the grounding strength of the man behind him, now pressed along his arm and still holding his hand. 

"I suggested it, actually. And Evgeni here was as concerned as you are, so let's talk about this before anything else happens. I understand you haven't done this before? A threesome?"

Jackson heard Kuny behind him whisper threesome to himself, trying to fold his accent around the new word and felt a rush of affection for the man and his determination to add to his English vocabulary in any situation. 

"Uh, no, I mean yeah-- at least I haven't." It occurred to him that he assumed it was new for both of them, but he didn't know.

Kuny confirmed a beat later though, shaking his head. "Never have threesome, no. I imagine it many times, but never asked." 

"You what?!" Jackson whipped his head around to see Kuny's face, his admission taking him by surprise. "You imagined it? With-- who? You never told me about that!" 

Kuny looked down, shaking his head ruefully, a blush rising in his cheeks. He released Jackson's wrist and it left him feeling strangely bereft, wanting those hands back on him. Huh.

Kuny had that look he always got when he wanted to express something that was important to him, fighting the frustration of not having all the words to convey what he meant. Sometimes he'd enlist Sergei to help translate, but if that wasn't an option, he'd take him by the shoulders and look at him intently, face to face, eyes wide and earnest, saying you listen now, I speak. Not make fun. This is important you understand.

Jackson had laughed the first time that happened, but he had apologized a hundred times since, when a frustrated Kuny explained to him in broken English that he regarded him to be his best friend. That he had felt lonely and lost and misunderstood when he arrived in the States, with the language barrier and culture shock. That he had gotten used to feeling like he'd never truly belong. Until he came to Gryffindor and met him. They clicked instantly, and easy camaraderie that grew into a true friendship. Kuny had tears in his eyes when he finished, fingers digging into Jackson's shoulders where he was still holding onto him. You understand. I hate that don't have all words but it is important you understand. Not make fun. 

Jackson remembers his heart pounding when he saw his friend so vulnerable, at loss for an answer, so he just went with the first thing that felt right. I love the way you speak. Kuny scoffed at it but couldn't fight the happy smile that took over his face, shoulders dropping in relief and their hug afterwards lasted forever and not long enough at the same time. So, Jackson knew that look and knew to listen now. This was important.

Kuny's arms lifted, but to Jackson's surprise, he didn't go for his shoulders. He took his hands instead, his grip sure. "You are my best friend. I don't want make mistake. But I imagine with you. I ask now." 

They both swallowed hard, in sync like they were on the ice, and was it possible that they were in sync on this too? That he actually knew exactly how Kuny felt because it was echoed by his own apprehension and-- desire. Naming things gave them power and now that he named this feeling, even just in his thoughts, it crashed over him in a tidal wave, the same twist and pull low in his belly from before answering and spreading outwards in a rush of warmth all the way to his fingertips. 

"Kuns, I-- I imagined it too. And I didn't want to endanger our friendship, too. But yes. I want to. Yeah." He bit his lip against the giddy smile that threatened to break free, not wanting to shatter the seriousness of the moment. 

Kuny didn't have the same reservations though and erupted into a relieved laugh, pulling him into a hug, which resulted in him practically landing in the Russian's lap because he didn't do sideways hugs. Not real hug, he'd grumble and then rearrange the person to his liking and fucking envelop their whole body with his giant arms and they were the best hugs Jackson's ever had. He settled into this one happily, Kuny smiling and humming into his neck as one of his arms settled around his waist. Jackie was watching them with a smug smile of her own, waiting for them to part again before she spoke.

Kuny did not seem too keen on removing the arm from around Jackson's waist anytime soon, so he stayed seated where he was, determinedly not thinking about how close they were or the fact that he was only wearing sweatpants. Jackie's chin was resting on her hands, taking in their position and biting her lip.

"I'm loving this," she proclaimed and then clasped her hands together, sitting up straighter. "So glad you boys talked. Let's set some ground rules just so we are all on the same page, then?" 

Both men nodded, their attention on her now. Her confidence was reassuring to Jackson, she apparently had some experience, definitely more than them. 

"First of all, anyone can call a stop anytime, no matter what the reason. Any reason. Second of all, if we're doing this, no more vodka." She turned the shot glasses upside down one after the other as she said that, the residual liquor wet on her fingers. 

Looking back at the two of them, she pushed her thumb into her mouth and sucked the wetness off slowly, a challenge in her eyes. Jackson heard Kuny's gasp followed by a low curse in Russian, but he couldn't look away as she went for her index finger next. Before her lips could connect, Kuny leaned across the couch, his arm around Jackson steadying him and his other reaching for Jackie, hand closing around her wrist and pulling her towards them. 

She came willingly, walking on her knees till she was pressed along their sides. Kuny kept pulling on her wrist, raising her hand to his mouth, and Jackson was torn between watching his mouth close around her fingers and watching her face, eyes closing and lips parting on a moan at the sensation. This was actually happening.

He felt dizzy with want and a bit shaky with the newness of it all. A hand cradled his cheek and Jackie turned his face towards her, her other hand in the same place on Kuny's cheek. Her voice was breathy, but her eyes were intent and steady as she addressed them both. "Third of all, we talk. We check in with each other. Something you want to try? Talk. Something you don't want to do? Talk. Yes? I need you to say this one with me." 

Kuny leaned into her hand as he answered "Da, yes, I talk. I say what I want." 

Jackson was opening his mouth to answer in kind, wholly unprepared for what happened next as Kuny turned to him and bluntly stated: "Want kiss him."

He gaped at his friend, who was looking at him with a small smile and dark, dark eyes, pupils blown wide. And waiting, patiently, for him to say what he wanted. The problem was, Jackson couldn't find his voice at the moment and nothing would happen unless he did. 

"Jackson?" Jackie's soft voice prompted him to suck in a breath and then the words were tumbling out. 

"Yeah, yes, I want that too. I want to kiss you, too. I wa--mmpfh." Suddenly there were soft plush lips on his and a big, calloused hand replaced Jackie's softer one on his cheek. Kuny hummed into the close-mouthed kiss and the vibration tickled across his lips, making him gasp. Kuny's lips parted in sync with his and then there was a taste of vodka and something else, distinctly Evgeni. A tongue tracing along his, a pull on his lower lip, teeth nipping gently and making goosebumps erupt all across his skin... Jackson was lost in it, hands scrabbling for purchase on broad shoulders and his hips jerking forward, the arm around his back pulling him closer. 

They parted on a gasp, both breathing hard, foreheads pressed together. "Harasho? Good?" Kuny was searching his face, and Jackson made himself find his voice yet again. 

"Yes. Harasho." He nodded, stealing one more kiss because he could. 

"I'm loving this," a whisper came from the side, where Jackie was sitting sideways, leaning on the backrest of the couch, chin in her hand and watching them, her eyes sparkling.

Kuny reached for her again, palm up and she slid her hand into his and sat up beside them, one of her legs hanging down the side of the couch alongside Kuny's, foot on the floor for balance. 

"Now you kiss. I want watch." Kuny nodded to Jackson and he turned to face Jackie. She placed a hand on his cheek, the gesture familiar now. 

"Can I?" It was easier with every time, giving voice to his want, saying yes to theirs. 

"Yes." 

His hand stroked up her thigh and rested on her hip as she tilted her head and pushed into his space and then they were kissing, soft and exploratory, different from Kuny but exciting in a different way. She yielded where Kuny pushed, moved with him where Kuny would hold still. Jackson was caught up in the feeling and the contrasts, the arousal bubbling up from his core in delightful shivers across his skin. 

He was hyper aware of Kuny watching them and he realized that Jackie was into it, turning both their heads so he had a good view when she bit on his lower lip and pulled, drawing a groan from him and Kuny at the same time. Her tongue soothed over the bite right away and she pressed a small kiss to the corner of his mouth before she leaned her head on his shoulder, looking up at Kuny who was still watching them, mesmerized, his hands flexing unconsciously, one on Jackson's lower back and the other on Jackie's thigh.

Jackson loved to see him like that, finding it so much better than anything his imagination had managed to come up with. "Let's take this to the bedroom?" He spoke into Jackie's hair, his head turned to her but his eyes still fixated on Kuny who was slow to come out of his haze. 

"Da. Bed.'' he rasped and shook his head, grinning to himself. He shifted in place, pressing their hips together with the movement and the arm still across Jackson's back and for a moment Jackson was afraid that he would try to carry him to the bedroom. Not that he couldn't lift him, he easily could and he had proven that often enough. But then all thoughts left him and pure sensation shot up his spine in a sudden flash because his best friend was hard. They both were. 

He got so distracted by the frankly awesome making out that he forgot that part but now it was glaringly obvious and he was almost shocked by the immediacy of it, frozen in place and not daring to move. 

His eyes found Kuny's on instinct and even though he didn't voice a question out loud, he got a slow nod in return, sure and steady. Kuny wasn't afraid of this or unsure about it, he wasn't pulling back, so Jackson decided he wouldn't be either. He wanted this. He asked for this. He wasn't backing out now. The only question that remained was, "which bedroom?"

The decision was made easily as Kuny stated, "my bed better for three," nodding to himself and squeezing Jackson around the waist one more time before he let go. 

They untangled themselves, Jackie standing up first and holding out her hands to the two of them. "Detour through the kitchen? Water for everyone, not optional." 

She pulled them across the living room, hands linked and let Jackson spin her around and press her against the kitchen counter to kiss her deeply while Kuny headed for the fridge. He could hear the fridge door opening and closing, footsteps coming closer and a water bottle cap hitting the counter, could hear Kuny drink in long swallows somewhere behind him, but it all faded into the background. 

His senses were preoccupied by the woman in front of him, her lips parting for his tongue, her hands traveling down his chest and across his ribs to circle his waist and grab at his ass, pulling him into her-- until he felt the press of cool lips on the back of his neck, a hint of teeth pressing into the skin, another pair of hands, larger and stronger, settling on his hips from behind. 

Jackson pressed back into the warm body behind him instinctively as Kuny kissed a winding path up his neck and exhaled right next to his ear with a low hum, the hot breath making him shiver with anticipation. 

"This is not drink water," a low voice rumbled into his ear and Jackson chuckled at that, still dazed from the close proximity of two bodies, two gorgeous people vying for his attention.

"Not thirsty for water right now," Jackson countered and turned his head so their lips met. Kuny didn't miss a beat, licking into his mouth even as he was spinning him around and pressing his back into the counter, a repeat of what he did with Jackie just minutes before. Only that didn't seem to be enough for his friend, as he found himself hoisted up onto the counter, Kuny stepping in between his thighs and dragging his hands down his back to where Jackie's had been, grabbing his ass and squeezing. 

The movement pushed their groins together and Jackson heard himself moan shamelessly, feeling his cock pulse and the answering hardness press against him when hooked his ankles behind Kuny's legs and pulled. His hands scrambled for the hem of his shirt and stilled when they found the warm skin underneath, both of them stunned at the ease with which they fit together. 

They weren't kissing now, just panting against each other's mouth, overwhelmed by each new situation they found themselves in together, wanting to stay there and milk it till the last drop and at the same time eager to keep going, to see where the night would take them next. But now was this; his palms against Kuny's stomach, exploring and wandering upwards, feeling his chest expand with each breath. 

"Can I?" he plucked at the shirt, Kuny raising his arms in answer. The shirt landed on the floor the next moment, forgotten, hands pressing over broad shoulders, feeling out the shapes of collarbones and the give of muscle under fingertips. 

Jackson followed the path of his hands with his mouth, pressing open-mouthed kisses into the hollow of Kuny's throat, down his sternum and then across to land over his heart, feeling its strong beat against his lips when he lingered there for a long moment, writing the rhythm into his memory. Whether this was a one-time thing or a beginning of something new, he'd always know that heart, in sync with his own, beat for beat. 

A large palm dragged up his torso slowly, pressed over his own heart and stayed there, careful and reverent; they didn't need words to understand each other in that moment. In sync like on the ice. Jackson felt the last nerves leave him then, carried away by the pulse of his own blood and the heat of arousal, feeling safe in the arms of his best friend. 

After one last press of lips over his heart, he tilted his head up and was met with a scorching kiss that left him light-headed and gasping, clutching at Kuny's back, nails digging in, even as the Russian was pulling back. 

"Kuns--" 

"You drink now." 

A water bottle was pressed into his hand, Kuny stepping back in between his thighs with a warm smile on his face, watching him as he gulped down half of the bottle in one go. He looked around, searching for Jackie and found her twirling her own bottle, her eyes trained on them and a smile playing on her lips. 

"Let me guess. You're loving this." 

She laughed at that, and then stepped closer, leaning her hip on the counter. "You're not wrong." Her look turned calculating and then she was lifting her own shirt and pulling it off in one swift motion, making a show of dropping it on the floor next to the one already there. "Also, you're overdressed."

Hooking her fingers in Kuny's belt loops, Jackie pulled him towards her and he resisted only for a moment to press a short kiss to Jackson's lips and grab his hand, pulling him after them towards his bedroom. 

Jackson had been in there many times for many reasons but this was very different from banging on his friend's door in the morning to hurry up we'll be late for practice, I made coffee, or throwing balled-up socks and t-shirts at him from the doorway because these are not mine you giant, how did they end up in my laundry again? He knew the squeak the hinges made when the door opened all the way and the handle hit the wall where Kuny stuck a print-out of Snape's face so it would hit him in the nose every time that happened. 

He could list from memory the few items that were always present on Kuny's desk, like one of the matryoshka dolls he brought for the whole team after he went home for the off-season, standing next to a small bowl that held the keys to his parents' house, for me it always remembers I can go home he explained one night when they both got drunk and grew bored playing videogames so they ended up laying on the floor of Kuny's bedroom just talking, or rather Kuny talking while Jackson went around his room picking up random objects and holding them up to get an explanation. There was a stack of books on the floor next to the bed, most of them in Russian and ‘The Hobbit’ being the only English book on top with a blurry polaroid photo of both of them at Sid's as a bookmark sticking out of it. Jackson's eyes skipped around the familiar room, finally landing on Kuny himself, finding him already looking back. 

"Not fair, you still in shirt," he said as he stepped closer, plucking at Jackson's sleeve. Hands snaked around his waist as Jackie stepped up behind him and gathered the hem of the t-shirt in her hands. 

"Yeah, alright, take it off," Jackson laughed as they undressed him and bracketed him between their bodies, skin on warm skin all around him.

For the next long while, Jackson's world became wandering hands and lips tracing contours of the three of them, finding ways to fit around each other and swaying together to the rhythm of their slowly building desire. It was an easy dance now that he allowed himself to want what he wanted; his best friend in all the ways they hadn't known each other yet and a beautiful stranger to lead them through the next step when they stumbled. 

His hands landed on Kuny's waistband and stopped. Jackie pressed alongside him in the next moment, her warm hand between his shoulder blades, grounding and reassuring. 

"Do you want to take them off, Jackson?" 

He nodded, looking down where his fingers followed the v-lines of Kuny's abs, dipping below the waistband. 

"Words,'' Jackie reminded him. He looked back up and was met with parted lips that he just had to kiss before he was able to form a question. 

"Can I?" 

"Da. Yes." 

He drew his fingers along the waistband to the front, brushing the trail of hair leading down and feeling the muscles flex under his touch. Making quick work of the button and the zipper, he pushed the pants down and-- "No underwear, Kuns, really?" 

The Russian just shrugged and stepped out of the pants, naked now but for the black socks patterned with stormtrooper helmets on them. "You have no underwear too," he nodded towards Jackson's crotch where his cock was very visibly tenting his sweatpants. 

"I was at home! In my home clothes!" Jackson defended himself, spreading his arms and looking to Jackie for support. "Can you believe this?"

Jackie gave the naked man in the middle of the room a slow once-over, licking her lips as her eyes lingered on his crotch and then smirking back at Jackson. "I assumed, but I can believe it now. You really are a giant, aren't you?" she stated more than asked as she turned back to Kuny and then undid her own jeans, shimmying out of them and her underwear in one go. "Catch up, Jackson, you're the last one again," she teased while she faced him and languidly took off her bralette, handing it to him with a raised eyebrow. Then she was reaching for Kuny with purpose, one hand going to his hair and the other wrapping around his cock, pulling a groan out of him as she kissed him hungrily. 

Her eyes closed and her whole body was leaning into Kuny, but his eyes were open and trained right at Jackson, the intense focus making him feel like he was the one being kissed instead. It made him want to be in her place, the surge of want so sudden and unexpected he took an involuntary step back, one hand reaching towards the desk to steady himself. The naked arousal in his best friend's eyes was unmistakably directed at him and his own answering desire still caught him by surprise when there was nothing needed to disguise it or explain it away. He could be in her place, easily. 

Jackie was now kissing and biting at Kuny's neck and Jackson found himself hoping she wouldn't leave any marks, the thought spurring him into movement at last. If anyone got to leave a mark on the Russian, it was going to be him.

Pulled in by Kuny's intent gaze and the need to replace Jackie's lips with his own, he stalked towards the pair. He was ready to voice what he was thinking, to ask, to beg Kuny for the permission to mark him up. It was all he could think of, suddenly and unexpectedly, another surprising discovery about himself that felt right as soon as he admitted it to himself. 

He tucked himself into Kuny's side, with Jackie still busy with his neck and just as he was opening his mouth to say the words, he saw her bite down on the tendon and then close her lips around it. The sound died in his throat, rapidly being replaced by embarrassment. 

"Jacks--" a strangled gasp from Kuny made them both look up at him and Jackson was ridiculously grateful for the interruption when he glanced at Kuny's neck and didn't see any darkened skin. 

"Yeah, babe?" Jackie replied without missing a beat, still draped along Kuny's side. Jackson realized that it must have been her nickname Kuny called out and it made the irony of their names being so similar even clearer. Did Kuny find it funny when he found out what her name was? Did she find it funny when they were introduced in their hallway? He'd have to ask them later. Right now there were more important things, like Kuny pulling him closer and talking fast in Russian to himself, his voice rumbling in his chest and then cutting off abruptly. Kuny cradling his cheek with one hand and pressing the pad of his thumb down on his lower lip. Kuny's frustrated huff and that look he always got when he was trying to translate something from Russian to English in his head and didn't have all the words. Jackson knew that look well, just like he knew many of his other looks and was currently learning a whole new category of them in this unprecedented situation.

"I don't know correct word." Ah, there it was. "For-- bruise? Like kiss but--" He looked imploringly at Jackson and then at Jackie. "Love bruise?" 

"You mean a hickey? A mark? Do you want one?" Jackie was already moving back towards his neck and Jackson was frozen, still in Kuny's grip, helpless as he saw Kuny nod gratefully while mouthing the words to himself. Hickey. Mark. And then-- 

"Niet. Wait. Want mark from him." Kuny's dark eyes were back on him, the intent gaze softening with his voice as he spoke the next sentence that almost sent Jackson to his knees. "Only him. Please."

Jackson felt the words all the way to his bones and something in him purred contentedly at the implications even as he swayed in place. Only him. But also, "love bruise?" he couldn't help but quip back at Kuny. His wry smile made him smile too and his thumb that still rested on Jackson's lower lip pressed down against the new shape of joy. 

His expression turned wistful then and Jackson was only marginally more prepared for the next thing that came out of his mouth, in a terrifyingly accurate aim straight for his heart despite Kuny's lack of words. "Love hurts, no?"

"I never want to hurt you." Jackson whispered, blindsided by the raw honesty and hurt in Kuny's voice, at loss for words because what do you say to that? 

Kuny just shook his head. "I know you not hurt me. Not you. My home, Russia, this--" a quick kiss to reassure, a gentle squeeze of the hand now resting on the back of his neck, "--this is not safe. Not see. Not say. Can be dangerous. Can hurt." 

Jackson just stepped fully into Kuny's space at that, tucking his face into his neck and wrapping his arms around him, pressing everything he was feeling into Kuny's body with his embrace, lips against his collarbone, trusting his body to convey what he meant better than words. We're safe here, he wanted to say and, I'll protect you, but he knew those were only partially true. I didn't know was in there too, or rather, didn't realize. I wish you'd told me tightly entwined with I wish I'd told you and all of those wrapped in I'm glad we're here now. I've got you.

Kuny let out a heavy sigh and melted into the embrace, resting his head on top of Jackson's and muttering Russian into his hair. They stood, naked and interlocked, in the middle of the bedroom, neither of them letting go. It was a dance of subtle steps; a deep breath in to feel his ribcage expand and the arms around him tighten in response, a weight shift and a little shuffle so their edges could fit themselves together even more seamlessly, the heartbeat against his breastbone answering the one he could feel with his lips pressed against the pulsepoint where he was tucked under Kuny's chin. In sync, like on the ice, but also so very much more. 

The intimacy of the moment took Jackson's breath away, the pause they found themselves in taking nothing away from the course of the night. He still felt the arousal meandering through his body, but unhurried and languid, like a river that knew it would reach its destination eventually; there was no other outcome but to meet the tide of the ocean and be irrevocably changed by it. No need to rush when the anticipation was running deep and sweet through his veins.

Jackie was reclining on the bed, relaxed and still naked and apparently not bothered by their moments that kept happening, but Jackson still felt like he had to say something, that they kept her waiting. He was grateful for her uncanny ability to read them and her easy willingness to adapt to their changing tides but she was a guest and part of him was very aware of not being a good host right now. Yet again, she was way ahead of him when he reluctantly stirred and made to leave the embrace. 

"No, no, stay. Take your time, you two. This feels important, give it the attention it deserves. I'm good here and the view is quite nice." She took a breath and they heard her hold it, the silence in the room absolute for a short while. Then with deliberate care, she continued. "I'm not expecting anything so if you'd like the evening to go any other direction than the apparent, just tell me, 'kay boys?" 

He could hear the smile in her voice. Still tucked into Kuny's neck, he felt him nodding and the rumble of his voice under his cheek. "Spasibo, Jacks." 

It was Kuny who detangled himself first after a long while, but instead of stepping away he pulled and pushed Jackson in the direction of the bed wordlessly and maneuvred them all under the covers with himself in the middle. 

Jackson found himself wondering yet again at the way they just fit. Slotting together without thinking, legs tangling, hands finding places to rest and caress, they cocooned themselves in the hushed silence of the bedroom. 

Jackson startled when another hand touched his, resting on Kuny's chest right above his heart, but then he met Jackie's eyes on the other side of the Russian. They exchanged a smile and then Jackie sent him a conspiratory wink, trailing her hand lightly down Kuny's chest and brushing across one nipple, drawing a soft gasp from him. 

She continued her slow, barely there touches, raising goosebumps on Kuny's skin. Every now and then she chose a path that crossed Jackson's hand or arm still thrown across Kuny's chest, setting off sparks right under his skin and watching him carefully. He could read her silent invitation to join but he was caught up in watching Kuny's face, mesmerized by the myriad expressions the gentle touches brought forth. He'd never seen his best friend like this, never knew he'd be so open and trusting, so expressive in reaction to the slightest touch.

When he finally moved his hand, it was to mold his palm to the side of Kuny's neck, to cup his cheek and press his thumb against his full lower lip in a mirror to their earlier position. What he didn't expect was Kuny pulling it into his mouth and sucking. His eyes were open, boring into Jackson, dark and intent and pinning him in place. 

A hint of teeth grazed the pad of his thumb and it was as if a switch flipped; the air heated up and Jackson became suddenly aware that they were naked in bed and he could touch, he could taste as much as he wanted to. And oh he wanted to. He pushed up onto one elbow, hovering above Kuny's face and then he was falling into a kiss, his tongue pushing into Kuny's mouth alongside his thumb. The sensation burned all the way down his spine in a rush that left his head spinning, the heat turning up. There were hands in his hair, on his back, nails gently scratching down his side, a palm kneading his ass and a hot breath in his ear, whispering encouragements. Jackson felt like he was on the edge of a volcano, the heat alive and reaching for him, all that was left to do was jump. 

The final push came on the end of a groan as they came up for air, Kuny speaking it right into his mouth, the deep rasp he could feel like a caress against his lips: "More."

Jackson wanted more, oh he wanted everything, but for a start he wanted more of that delicious skin-on-skin contact that was already turning him liquid. He'd melt in Kuny's hands and flow between his fingers, into every crevice of his body if he could, just to get closer. 

That's what made it past his lips, "closer" and "please--" among their gasps as he was pulling on Kuny's arm ineffectively, not quite knowing how to get him where he wanted him. "Kuns--'' 

The Russian pulled him in, wrapping him in his arms and then the world tilted for a second; the next thing he felt was the bed under his back and the grounding weight of a whole hockey player on top of him, as if he knew exactly where and how to anchor him. In sync, like on the ice. Jackson was stupidly grateful for it, unable to form sentences while he was wrapped up in need and want, layers of it, making it harder to breathe, let alone speak. 

Kuny kissed him then, pressing him into the mattress and controlling the kiss, slow and sure, humming into it and making his lips buzz and stretch into a smile. Jackson lifted a hand to Kuny's cheek again and this time Kuny chased after his thumb and pulled it into his mouth, swirling his tongue around it while still holding his gaze, one eyebrow rising in silent question. 

Jackson felt his cock pulse at the implication, hard and leaking, the molten lava now simmering low in his belly. He wasn't stupid, he understood, knew what his best friend was implying, but still he'd have to ask for it. Jackie said they had to talk. 

Jackie. He knew what to say to her at least, felt her along his side, one leg thrown over his and the slow rolls of her hips against his thigh. Even though tearing his eyes away from Kuny took an effort, he turned his head slightly to catch her eyes, dark with hunger as she watched them. "Loving this?"

It startled a low laugh from her and she hid it in his shoulder. "You know it." 

"I know what you'd love even more." 

"Oh yeah? I hope it has to do with that mouth of his. Looks like he knows how to use it, and not only on your fingers." 

Jackson's gaze was back on Kuny, who in the meantime abandoned his thumb and intertwined their fingers, kissing and sucking down his palm to the inside of his wrist. He pressed his lips to the pulsepoint there and then looked up at Jackson with a calculating look, giving him barely a second before he licked a wet stripe all the way to his fingertips and closed his mouth around three of his fingers, sucking enthusiastically. 

"Oh fuck," both he and Jackie groaned at the sight, and then she continued, her voice husky, "fuck, if you don't ask him for it, I will."

At Jackie's words Kuny grinned at him, catching his fingers between his teeth to keep them in place and it shouldn't have been so hot for how ridiculous he looked, but Jackson felt the tug of arousal in his belly all the same. 

He sucked in a breath, desperate to try and put into words what his body was straining for, but Kuny made speaking impossible when he closed his lips around his middle finger next and slid them all the way down to the last knuckle. "Mnngh" was all he managed under Kuny's knowing look. 

"Oh you're wicked and I like it." Jackie's amused voice was right in his ear, the hot breath making his skin erupt in goosebumps. "Do you like it, Jackson?" 

Once again she was guiding him along with ease and he nodded gratefully. Yes and no questions were easy enough to comprehend. "Do you want him to stop?" 

"No" the almost-cry carried on a breath, no don't stop just please his lips were moving but out came only a wrecked moan as Kuny pressed his hips down in a grind, knowing exactly where Jackson wanted him next and making it exceptionally difficult to form coherent thoughts to get him there.

“What do you want him to do to you, Jackson?” Jackie purred in his ear while Kuny was taking him apart with his mouth still working at his fingers, the slow, filthy grind of his hips promising more. “Remember, use your words.” 

A frustrated whine was all that Jackson was capable of, as wild with desire as he was, lost in the heat of Kuny’s body on top of him. 

“Evgeni, babe, I know you’re enjoying this but you’ll have to slow down if we want to hear him.” Jackie soothed, running her hand through Kuny’s hair and tugging lightly. 

Kuny followed her lead and halted, lowering his hand and pressing it into the mattress next to Jackson’s head, tangling their fingers together. Jackson squeezed his hand, holding on for dear life, grounding himself in the new sensation that immediately felt so right. A distant part of his brain wondered if Kuny would want to hold hands sometimes, after this, just for the comfort of it. He’d just have to ask, like for anything else he wanted. Like right now. He strained upwards and Kuny met him in a gentle kiss, a stark contrast to the lust boiling under his skin.

Nudging their noses together playfully, Kuny broke the kiss but stayed close. “Tell me what you want,” he whispered against Jackson’s lips. “I’ll do it. I want be good for you.” 

Jackson squeezed his eyes at the wave of want that swept him up like a flood in reaction. “Kuns, god, you’re so good, your mouth--” he broke off with a groan, caught off-guard by Kuny’s thigh hitching higher between his legs, the muscle flexing against his crotch. The delicious pressure was almost unbearable and yet not enough. His eyes snapped open, almost going cross-eyes with Kuny still so close, but his look was determined now and he knew Kuny could read it in his face. 

Jackson made sure to pronounce his next words clearly. “I want your mouth. On my cock. Now.”

He wished he could replay forever the way Kuny’s eyes widened and then went dark at the request, his breath punching out of him in a surprised gasp. 

The surprise didn’t last long though, the wicked gleam in Kuny’s gaze was back in the next moment, eyebrows rising. “Now mean half-hour now? Or now now?” he asked even as he was pulling away and sitting back on his heels, straddling one of Jackson’s thighs. 

“Oh my god, really?” Jackson threw a hand over his eyes in mock annoyance, fighting a laugh that was bubbling up in his chest. Of course Kuny wouldn’t just give up a chance to chirp him. It was a semi-regular scene between them, I want pizza now. I hungry now. So we go now, and Yes we’re going, let me just finish this round, I’m almost done. Other times it was We gotta leave now, Kuns, or we’ll be late and Da, da, I’m get dressed now, is not late. Inevitably one of them would end up standing in the other’s doorway, looking pointedly at the watch. Now means now, not in a half-hour. I’m going now, with or without you. 

He felt Kuny shift and then his weight left him completely. He heard Jackie next to him hum approvingly, her hand stroking down his chest and settling on his hip. Then another hand, larger and warmer, wrapped around his knee and made a slow way up his thigh, pressing into the muscle and kneading appreciatively. Jackson was equally turned on and exasperated, his cock answering every squeeze and press of Kuny’s hand with a desperate twitch. 

When Kuny finally made it to his other hip, his palm warm over his hipbone in a mirror to Jackie’s, Jackson was ready to beg, again. His hips tried to jerk up on instinct, earning warning squeezes from both of them and a disapproving tsk tsk from Jackie, who was now leaning on her elbow next to him, her chin in her hand, watching them attentively. 

Kuny was focused on him completely, holding his gaze as he lowered his head so his lips were just above the head of his leaking cock. The smirk was back, half confidence, half disbelief and all desire, directed just at him. Jackson wanted to see it again, a hundred times more, a thousand. He suddenly found himself violently wishing please let this be a first, the thought stealing his breath. 

Kuny was still hovering and his exhales felt almost like caresses on Jackson's oversensitive skin, barely there and yet driving him crazy. Then he spoke and his voice didn't carry even a hint of uncertainty as he licked his lips and stated, "I'm go now, with or without you.” 

Jackson could have tried to gather his wits and answer him back, he had enough ammunition to win this, thank you, but Kuny was wrapping his lips around the head of Jackson's cock and suddenly nothing else mattered. The wet heat made him curl his toes and arch his back as a lightning of pleasure zinged up his spine and burst behind his eyelids. 

Kuny was right where he had wanted him and it was at once too much and not enough. The hands on his hips tightened as his own grasped at the sheets and held on. He felt light-headed, all blood rushing to his core and every nerve alight. By the noises Kuny was making, he was enjoying himself, every content hum vibrating up his shaft and pulling an answering groan from his throat. 

Jackson wanted to see, he wanted to touch, he wanted to fuck up into Kuny's mouth and have him take it. He wanted to taste himself on Kuny's tongue and he wanted to taste him in turn. A stray thought fluttered through his mind, we have time for all that. God, I hope we do.

Jackson grabbed for Kuny's hand that was still pressing down on his hip and tangled their fingers together. He wanted to push his fingers into Kuny's hair and feel him moving, wanted to direct him, push him down and hold him in place, but he didn't dare. 

He squeezed his hand instead, once, twice, trying to anchor himself in the wave after wave of sensation that washed over him. Then Kuny was moving their hands, giving him exactly what he wished for, pulling off for a moment just to wink at him and say, "you can pull. I like it," as he placed Jackson's hand on top of his head, nuzzling into it a little. 

A sharp breath punched out of Jackson as he pushed his hand into Kuny's hair and grabbed the strands lightly, then more firmly, testing. Kuny's eyes fluttered closed as he hummed approvingly, his other hand just stroking Jackson unhurriedly. Jackson could watch him forever. He also wanted his mouth back on his cock. He got better hold on his hair and when he pulled, Kuny followed willingly, licking his lips and widening his eyes in mock innocence before he dove in and licked a hot stripe up Jackson's cock, drawing a moan out of him. 

"Kuns, Jesus--" 

"Niet. No Jesus. Just me." Kuny seemed to consider something and then his face softened as he pressed a quick kiss on top of Jackson's thigh, speaking into his skin next. "Say Zhenya. I want you say my name."

Jackson felt his lips turn up into a smile, feeling just ridiculously fond of his best friend in that moment. He was feeling all lightheaded and floaty, except for the spots of heat where Kuny's hands were pressing into his skin, grounding him. 

He kept the name close, holding it like a gift, a treasure found; and wasn't this all just that? An unexpected and precious thing he still didn't believe he could have even as he was literally cradling it in his palms. He took a breath and noticed with satisfaction the expectant look on Kuny's face. He was going to say it, oh yes, probably say it a lot, but not yet. "I'll trade you. My name for yours." 

Kuny - Zhenya - narrowed his eyes at that, biting his lip in consideration while trying to keep his own smile from showing. "Nado. Now say my name." 

"You know what I mean." 

They stayed locked in the back-and-forth of teasing and bickering, neither of them ready to give in, so familiar Jackson wanted to wrap himself in it, wrap himself in Kuny. Zhenya. He wanted to say that name, wanted to whisper it against his skin, to beg it into the sheets and probably scream it towards the ceiling before the night was over, but-- he also wanted to hear his own name, to find out if hearing it fall from those lips gave him the same rush as his hand in Kuny's hair did, him following where Jackson directed, easy and eager. In sync, like on the ice.

He felt Kuny's resolve falter before he made any sound, knew he had won from the way Kuny leaned into his hand for a moment, lowering his chin and looking at him from beneath his lashes. "Jack-son" he said carefully, folding the syllables around his accent and the timbre of his voice washed over the last of Jackson's reserves and melted them into nothingness. Kuny could ask him anything in that voice and he'd give it without question. "Jackson.” 

"Yeah?" it came out breathy and more unsteady than he'd want to admit, but Kuny didn't laugh at him, didn't tease him anymore. 

"Say my name, Jackson. Please." 

"I love how you talk," Jackson gasped out, trembling with how turned on he was. Then finally "Zhenya" and "touch me, please--" 

Zhenya didn't hesitate, diving back in and taking him into his mouth, one hand wrapped around the base, making him arch his back and dig his heels into the mattress. His leg muscles flexed with the movement and drew twin moans from both Jackie and Zhenya, each of them practically straddling one of his legs. 

Jackie was tucked all along his side and startled from her hushed stillness when she didn't want to interrupt the exchange, now pressing biting kisses into his shoulder and rolling her hips against him leisurely. 

Zhenya with one knee tucked up between Jackson's legs, holding himself up, the other leg stretched out and probably hanging off the bed, the giant. Jackson was vaguely aware of all that, helpless to do anything but hold on as he was coaxed higher still by Zhenya's hands and tongue on him, hand still tangled in his hair. Now that he had said it, he couldn't seem to stop, "Zhenya" and "please" pouring from his lips with each gasping breath.

Time melted away as everything narrowed to the burning points of contact among the three of them; hands roaming Jackson's body, too many hands but it was too good, the overstimulation making him whine every time Zhenya tightened his hand on him, every roll of Jackie's hips against his thigh. 

The litany of "Zhenya" and "please" falling from his lips was only interrupted by Zhenya making his way up his body again, kissing and biting and drawing more sounds and reactions from him. A gasp as he bit the inside of his thigh, soothing the mark with his tongue afterwards. A groan as he licked up the crease of his hip, one large hand still on him, slow and tight and bringing him closer and closer to the brink. Even a giggle as he kissed up the side of his ribcage and laughed at Jackson's squirming. "You know I'm ticklish, you asshole! Stop it!" 

Zhenya stopped moving his hand at the exclamation but continued on his path, biting down on his shoulder playfully. 

"No, don't stop that! You know what I meant!" Jackson was too turned on to summon the proper tone of voice and swatted at Zhenya in frustration, getting only an amused laugh in return. 

"I'm know. It's funny." 

"'S not funny! Just--" Jackson was half exasperated, half amused at his best friend's timing, because of course he'd tease him now that he was a literal mess in his hands, but he was also half out of his mind with arousal, casting for the right words to make him continue, just-- "Jackie!" he gasped out, she'd know what to do, she knew every time--

His next word turned into a groan as Zhenya's hand on him tightened right in that moment, but he was still not moving and it was maddening and hot and driving him crazy. 

Jackson turned his head towards Jackie, their noses almost touching where she was draped half over him. His hand was on her thigh, grabbing for purchase although he didn't remember putting it there. She was straddling his thigh, grinding down in a steady rhythm and he hitched her leg higher up on instinct, drawing an approving moan from her. "Jackie, just, please-- tell him!" 

She looked between the two of them, thinking and then nodding, one corner of her mouth lifted in a smile. She reached out her hand to trace it across his temple and down his cheek, then a featherlight touch across his lips that tickled and a boop on the nose that made him go cross-eyed. "Ah, sweetie, you tell him. You already know what to say. Just think." She kissed him on the nose and grinned, nodding towards Zhenya, who was watching him intently, looking very pleased with himself. And oh, yes, Jackson knew what to say, actually. 

He desperately searched for the few Russian expressions he knew and hoped he didn't butcher the word he wanted to say. Zhenya loved it when Jackson spoke Russian, trying to imitate the sounds and finally getting it almost-right on the tenth try. He loved teaching him words for things, objects around the house, expressions and, of course, curse words, making him repeat the syllables that made no sense to Jackson's ears, but made Zhenya grin so big he'd repeat anything just to bring that smile out again. 

He took a breath, hearing Zhenya's voice in his mind teaching him the word he wanted and then, looking him in the eyes and pronouncing carefully, he said it. "Please. Zhenya. Pozhalusta."

At Jackson's words, Zhenya went completely still, his eyes widening in surprise and then going even darker; Jackson felt his gaze like a physical thing, holding him in place and cradling him safely even as he was being taken apart. 

Finally, slowly, Zhenya started moving his hand again and it felt like too much and not enough at the same time. Jackson's next moan was swallowed by a kiss, until he could only gasp "more" and "please" into Zhenya's mouth, Jackie's panting breaths speeding up along his own, both of them following Zhenya's rhythm. 

Then Zhenya was nudging his cheek, turning his head towards Jackie, murmuring "Look her." She caught Jackson’s gaze and held it, eyes liquid and dark with pleasure, gorgeous and panting with how on edge she was. 

"Someone kiss me, I'm so close," she demanded and Jackson felt Zhenya's mouth latch onto the tendon between his neck and shoulder at the same time as he dove for Jackie's lips. Her whole body was trembling, following the rolling movements of her hips against his thigh and taking what she needed to finally tip over the edge. Jackson felt her shudder as she rode the waves of her orgasm, clutching onto him and gasping into their kiss. He felt Zhenya tighten his hand and speed up his rhythm again, felt Zhenya's teeth and tongue working a mark into his neck. But it was when Zhenya lifted his head, admiring his work and then breathing "Jackson" right into his ear that got him to gasp out, "I'm gonna-- Zhenya, I'm--" 

Zhenya nudged his cheek again, but now it was to claim his mouth for himself, murmuring Russian between sloppy kisses as he finally brought him over the edge. Jackson just gave himself over to the sensation, letting Zhenya kiss him through it, stealing his breath and his heart and somehow still making him feel all the more alive for it.

Jackson came back to himself, cradled from both sides by warm bodies and soft voices. Blinking against the dim light of the room, he made an inquiring sound and was answered by a chuckle from Jackie “You back with us?” 

"I never left." 

"Oh, you dozed off there for a moment." Jackie jostled him playfully and then got up, throwing them a look over her shoulder. "I'm grabbing the first shower. Don't forget to drink some water, boys!" 

Jackson felt Zhenya on his other side smiling into his shoulder and he suddenly needed to see him, needed to kiss him again just to make sure it all happened and he wouldn't wake up alone in his bed with echoes of a dream slipping through his curtains with the morning light. But Zhenya was right there, solid and warm and smug. 

"What are you grinning about?" Jackson teased him, feeling giddy on the feeling he didn't want to name yet, even as it filled his whole chest and made him reach for Zhenya's hand, tangling their fingers together. "Oh wait, Zhenya, did you--?"

The Russian just nodded, trying to go back to kissing, but Jackson stopped him with a finger on his lips, just watching his best friend for a moment, amazed and happy and "--are you blushing right now? Wow, this truly is a night of firsts." 

Zhenya shot back something in Russian that Jackson was pretty sure meant a not-so polite-version of shut up with how often he'd hear him yell it at the tv, but now it felt like an endearment, with Zhenya unable to hold back a smile and getting shy all of a sudden, his eyes flicking between their entwined fingers and the mess they made between them, the purpling mark on Jackson's neck and the door that was left slightly ajar, letting in the sound of running shower. 

"You owe me still-- love bruise? Kak skazatj--" 

Of all the words, Jackson would not use 'soft' to describe Zhenya; but now, on this night of firsts he had no better word for the look that was now directed at him. He returned it without hesitation. He was here for it, for all of it. "A hickey. I do. Where do you want it, babe?"

Zhenya didn't answer immediately. Instead he reached out and traced the mark he left on Jackson's neck, as if he needed to reassure himself that it really happened, that there was proof that wouldn't be so easily washed away, impossible to ignore. Jackson could feel the lingering sting, the skin bruised and sensitive, making him shiver and want to find a mirror and see for himself. He could see the shadow of worry in Zhenya's eyes, that look of this is important, he could see him thinking and picking words, probably translating what he wanted to say. He caught Zhenya's hand in his own and pressed a kiss to his palm, then placing it over his heart, threading his fingers through Zhenya's, just holding on and letting him know without words that he was there. Not leaving. Not regretting anything. Not afraid.

"The shower is free, boys." Jackie's voice calling from the hall broke the silence and Jackson realized he couldn't hear the sound of water anymore. She came back into the room and dropped two water bottles on Jackson's chest. He'd deny the sound that came out of him at the unexpected cold shock against his naked skin, but it made Zhenya burst into a surprised laugh and bury his face into the pillows and it was so cute that it made the embarrassment worth it.

"Drink up boys." Jackie prompted, throwing them curious looks as she searched for her clothes around the room. They slowly disentangled themselves from the blankets and each other and emptied the bottles dutifully. Jackson took Zhenya's bottle from him and then took his hand, earning a surprised look. "Shower with me?" A relieved nod was his answer, Zhenya already pulling him to his feet and towards the bathroom. Jackson stopped them in the doorway, turning back to Jackie who was pulling on her clothes. 

She was already looking at them with a knowing smile. "Go ahead. Take your time. I'll raid your kitchen in the meantime. Or order pizza. I'm starving." 

"Sounds good. Thanks, Jackie." 

He let Zhenya pull him the rest of the way to the bathroom, thinking he'd have to thank Jackie properly, profusely, and also ask her how she knew just what to say every time because it was bordering on scary. 

But now there was another, more important talk, to be had. There was his best friend, turning on the shower, not meeting his eyes and fidgeting nervously. Zhenya never fidgeted. "Hey. Talk to me." Jackson ducked his head to catch Zhenya's eyes. 

Instead, Zhenya avoided his gaze and he was being pulled into the shower under the spray of hot water, getting increasingly worried. Did Zhenya regret what they did? Was he gearing up for a let’s never talk about this again speech? Well, Jackson wouldn’t let him. He took a breath and opened his mouth, preparing to launch into a five-point argument about how this wasn't a mistake followed by an even longer list of reasons why they should definitely do it again, maybe just the two of them... 

He didn't even get to start, interrupted by Zhenya's frustrated growl. "Ja nie znayu-- how say this right. So not make fun." 

Jackson saw the serious expression on Zhenya's face, his this is important look. "Okay? I'll listen. But-- can I kiss you first? Just. I'm a bit worried now." 

Jackson was still trying to catch Zhenya's eyes, standing close and blinking the water away, so he wasn't far for Zhenya to look up at him in surprise and then break out into a wide smile, pressing their lips together and saying "Da, da, vsegda, ty vsegda mozesh." breathless little giggles escaping him in between kisses. Jackson didn't understand the words, but he understood the tone of relief, felt it himself when he was once again in his best friend's arms, his world right again after being tilted dangerously off its axis for a moment. They were okay.

"What-- what were you saying?" Jackson asked, minutes later, eternity later, after they had caught their breath, actually showered and stole even more kisses inbetween handing each other shampoo bottles and later towels, still helpless against the gravity pulling them together. They still had to talk, but Jackson was now sure they were on the same page and for right now that was enough. 

However, he was curious about one thing. "Zhenya, what did you say, before? In the shower. It was all Russian..." 

"Oh-- I say you can kiss me always. Did I say in Russian?" 

"Yeah, didn't you realize?" 

"Niet. Only happy you want kiss me. Jackson--" Zhenya broke off, taking Jackson's hands in his and it would have been funny, the two of them just in towels, hair dripping, the mirror behind them misty from the condensation, showing only their silhouettes and the buy toothpaste that Jackson wrote on it with his finger that morning when he used the last of it, next to a word in Cyrillic that Zhenya wouldn't tell him the meaning of. Yet it felt like the most important moment, with how Zhenya's eyes bore into him, warm and earnest, and soft, there it was again, stealing Jackson's breath away. 

"You are my best friend." Zhenya announced carefully, willing him to hear it. "I care-- you? I don't know how say..." 

"I care about you." Jackson jumped in, helping Zhenya with the words, echoing the same back at him. "I care about you too, Zhenya. You're my best friend too." 

"Da. Yes. But-- I like when we kiss. I like this." He squeezed Jackson's hands in his and pulled him closer, wrapping Jackson's arms around his waist and his own around Jackson's shoulders. Next words were spoken against his temple, hushed and treasured. "I want best friends and I want this. Ya khochu tebja. Can we-- have this? Do you--?"

Jackson was nodding before Zhenya finished his sentence, already reaching for him and pouring everything he felt into a kiss, every exhilarating and excited and scary feeling that was filling his chest, because he didn't have enough words for how much he wanted this, too. Then he heard Jackie's voice in his mind, use your words Jackson, say what you want and only good things had happened when he listened to Jackie... "Yes, we can. We can have this. Zhenya, I want you too. I want all of that-- wait, are we, like, dating now?" 

Zhenya was smiling so hard his eyes were just slits, mirroring his own happy grin that wouldn't leave his face. He still managed to roll his eyes, of course. "Nado. We live together." 

"I know, but do we-- go on dates, now? Like, what are the rules to this?" 

"We are best friends who kiss. And make love. And-- cuddle?" 

Jackson was more than a bit distracted by the lovely blush that rose in Zhenya's cheeks and the accompanying words but he managed to keep it together and reply because he could use a good cuddle just about now. He was getting a bit chilly with how long they were standing in the bathroom just in their towels and if it went his way, there would be no need for pyjamas tonight. He wanted to wrap himself up in Zhenya and stay there. He could, now.

"Yeah we can definitely cuddle. We can even sleep together!" 

Zhenya's eyebrow rose at that and Jackson swatted at him, indignant. "I meant sleep sleep! In the same bed! On purpose! Not you falling asleep on me by accident when we watch Clone Wars after midnight." 

"How you know it is accident?" Zhenya winked at him and then stole his towel and ran out of the door towards his room, leaving Jackson gaping and-- happy. He was happy. And-- falling in love with my best friend, he experimentally tried that thought on, just to see what would happen, how he would feel. Nothing broke, nothing shattered. The world kept on turning, the wisps of steam kept escaping into the hall, the light turned on in his room, beckoning him forward. The feeling settled more firmly in his chest, already filling the space behind his ribs, expanding with his lungs and cradling his heart, warm and soft and safe. They would figure it out together, like they did everything else so far. Playing together, communicating together, living together. Being together. 

In sync, like on the ice.

 - - -

Bonus: 

Jackie followed her grumbling stomach and the trail of discarded clothing back to the kitchen. She always got hungry after sex and this was no exception, although everything else about this night was exceptional. She couldn't have foreseen the story that would unravel right before her eyes, between the two men that invited her into their apartment and their bed, only to find each other in the end. She wasn’t complaining, oh no, on the contrary, that was quite something and she won’t forget it, ever… but now, she needed food.

The fridge didn’t offer any satisfactory snack options so Jackie found herself sitting on the kitchen island, scrolling through the takeout app on her phone and ordering pizza instead. She saw the empty pizza boxes from Sid’s beside the trash can so she knew she couldn’t go wrong with that choice. Everyone loved Sid’s, of course they did too. 

Everyone also loved the Lions. She was only now slowly connecting the dots. The framed jerseys in the hall. The hockey sticks in the corner of the living room, the pucks on the shelf. Evgeni saying teammate when he introduced Jackson. Both of them being built like Greek gods, strong and beautiful and fitting together like pieces of a puzzle. Gryffindor loved their Lions.  Of course she knew of the team even if she didn’t follow the game - if you lived in Gryffindor, it had become impossible to not know about them after they brought home the cup. 

However, she was glad that she didn’t know who exactly Evgeni was when they met at the bar, apart from a fun drinking partner, dorky dancer and very, very good kisser. They had locked eyes across the room, she bought him a drink, he got the burgers and fries, they talked for quite a long time even with him searching for words and having to resort to inventive descriptions with a side of charades to get his meaning across, they danced, they made out… He made her laugh and didn’t push for her number or her attention, he turned her on and he intrigued her, but at the end of the night, he was just a stranger to her. 

A gentle, giant, hot stranger that took her home for what she expected to be a one night stand and turned into so much more; at least for the two men. She saw the looks, heard what had been said and felt the connection between them come to life in an entirely new way, witnessing a sacred first and even helping to guide them through it when they turned to her. She had threesomes before, but nothing like this. She already knew she would treasure the memory, feeling rather protective of it; of them.   

Her phone buzzed, the arrival of the pizza delivery reminding her of her grumbling stomach again. She hopped down from her perch on the kitchen island, let the delivery person into the building and paid for the three pizzas, bringing them back to the kitchen. The boys would be hungry too, when they finally came out of the shower, but they were taking their time. She suspected they needed the privacy to make sense of what happened. She could give them that. 

Grabbing a sharpie from her bag, she scrawled a note and her number on top of one of the pizza boxes that she left on the counter, only grabbing three slices out of it and stacking them like a delicious, greasy, pizza sandwich. With a last fond look around she headed for the door, her eyes lingering on the jerseys hanging in matching gold frames on the wall. Nadeau. Kuznetsov. She didn’t know the names or the jersey numbers, had only a vague idea about hockey, but she was rooting for them now - for Zhenya and Jackson - and going by what she’d seen tonight, she was pretty sure they would make it.

fin

[noire-pandora]

I’ve joined another writing event but this time on Twitter and this is my take on the first prompt “Campfire”, where Elluin and Varric have a heart-to-heart conversation about the burden of responsibility.  Also on my AO3.

Words: 2002

Warnings: none. 

A shiver rippled over Varric's skin at the sudden gust of cold wind, the dying small campfire failing to keep him warm. He sighed, wondering why he agreed to stay with the Inquisition, the long trips through woods, mountains and plains exhausting him. In moments like this, when the lack of comfort affected his morale, he wished he was back in Kirkwall with Hawke and her friends, enjoying a cold beer at the tavern and making up stories. Instead, he stood on a wood log, his butt still hurting from the long hours of riding, his stiff back begging him for a hot bath and a massage. His clothes weren't fit for the long days of travel, his cotton shirts and pants doing little to protect him against the capricious weather.

He huffed, shoving a stick in the fire, hoping it would bring it back to life, but he only succeeded in putting it off. "Great," he mumbled, crossing his arms before his chest, his warm breath fogging in the air. "I'll freeze until someone wakes up. Why is it so damn cold?"

He raised his eyes to watch the sky in an attempt to forget about the situation he found himself in, only to be greeted by the sight of the Breach, swirling and twisting above them like a silent threat, ready to swallow the whole world. Instead of making him feel better, the hair on the nape of his neck rose, and his muscles spasmed as if readying him to flee from a dangerous enemy before it got the change to attack him.

His lips slightly parted, his fingernails digging into the log as fear slowly crawled into his mind. How were they supposed to close it when none of them had any idea how it happened? When the only one who barely understood it was a suspicious elf who came out of nowhere, offering his help? The fate of the world stood on the shoulders of a few heretics who got dragged into this mess, with little to no support from the ones who should have dealt with it. His breath hitched in his throat at those thoughts, anxiety hovering above him.

The noise of the tent's flap opening startled him, and he almost jumped in place. He swiftly turned in the direction of the sound, curious to see who woke up this early in the morning.

The Herald left the tent yawning and scratching her wild curly hair. He frowned, noticing the unusual dark circles surrounding her eyes and the tiredness written on her face. Exhaustion shrouded her, and it slowly turned her from the laid back, always ready to joke elf to a snappy person, ready to fight at the slightest misunderstanding. This sudden change worried him, for it wasn't the first time he saw this transformation.

"Morning, Sparks," he greeted her with a broad smile on his face.  

She acknowledged his comment with a tilt of her head and continued her morning routine, stretching her arms and legs until her joints stopped popping. After a few more minutes of light exercises, she finally joined him, creasing her nose at the cold, half-burned wood. With a swift flick of her hand, the fire took shape again, dancing lively and consuming the wood in a few seconds.

"You don't need wood to keep it burning?" he asked, leaning forwards and outstretching his arms to warm his palms over the fire.

"No," she shrugged, flicking her wrist again, the fire blazing even brighter. She sat on a log next to him to warm herself. "I don't need any wood to sustain it. As long as I have mana, it will burn."

He hummed, cocking his eyebrow at her explanation. Magical explanations always confused him and brought even more questions to his mind.  In the end, it only mattered that the fire slowly warmed him, and the mage casting the spell was on his side.

"You're up early," he spoke as casually as he could after a few minutes of sitting in total silence.

She shrugged, wiggling her fingers, the campfire slithering in the rhythm of her hand movements. "Yeah. It happens."

"Been happening to you often. Are you getting enough sleep?"

She eyed him, pursing her lips into a thin line. "Are you monitoring my health? I thought Solas was supposed to do that."

He shuffled his legs uneasy, sensing the hint of annoyance in her voice. "Chuckles isn't the only one who's worried for you."

"Worried for me? Why?"

"You've been acting strange lately, randomly snapping at us. Just wondering if you're alright."

Her nostrils flared, and the fire suddenly sizzled, its flames growing bigger. He quickly pulled his arms back, raising an eyebrow at her. "See! This is what I mean."

"I'm sorry!" she apologised, squeezing her fingers into a fist and hiding them in the pockets of her trousers. "Are you all right?"

He waved his hand in dismissal, shaking his head at her. "It's fine. You didn't hurt me. But something's going on with you."

She ran one hand through her curls, a finger getting stuck into a hair knot. She yanked on it, her jaw tensing. With another yank, she released her finger only to clasp her hands in her lap. When she spoke again, he could hear the tension in her voice. "I haven't got enough sleep lately. "

"Nightmares?"

She nodded. "Yes. How did you know?"

He gave her a small, sad smile, stretching his hands again as the flames shrunk to a safe level. He stared at it, his eyes glassy with the memories of the past. "I've seen this look before, Sparks. You're not the only one hunted by nightmares. How bad is it?"

She stared into the fire, her eyebrows furrowed into a deep crease. "Bad. I've had them for almost two weeks. I barely get enough sleep to function at day."

He contemplated her face, noticing how the bags under her eyes turned purple, the whites of her eyes bloodshot and how her usually rose cheeks caught a sickly pallor, a few spider veins showing through the paleness of her cheek.

"I think Chuckles can help you with this since he's the expert in the Fade and the stuff you mages dream at night."

She snorted, glancing at him. "And how do you know that?"

"I've heard a few of your conversations. Can't he do a spell to drive your nightmare away?"

She bit on her lower lip. "I think so, yes. But I'm not going to ask for his help."

He rolled his eyes at her. "Look, I know you two have your differences, but you're not looking that good, Sparks. And he can help you. He won't say no to you."

A few months ago, this suggestion would have gained him a huff from the Herald, but now she nodded solemnly, without commenting on how annoying Solas was. He found it amusing how quickly they became friends, and he had a hunch this friendship might slowly turn into something else.

"We've solved our differences, Varric," she confirmed, staring down at her feet, deep in thought. "I  know he'd help me. I just don't want to burden him with my problems."

He admired Lavellan's stubbornness and eagerness to stick to her moral ideas, but, at this moment, he had to suppress his need to roll his eyes at her comment.

"You won't burden him. It's his duty to take care of you. You hold the key to the safety of this world in your hand. You have to stay healthy, or else we're doomed."

She straightened her back, a frown pulling at the corners of her mouth. "So my health matters only because I'm bearing the Mark. Is that what you're trying to say?"

He sighed deeply and scowled at her knowing very well she tried to change the subject by bringing this up. "No. But your health is affected by this Mark, and we're here to help you."

"Well, I don't need your help," she barked, the fire blazing strongly again but, this time, her outburst did not impress him.

He spread his arms wide, drawing in a long breath, readying himself for the confrontation. "Look, Sparks. I get it. You don't like to talk about your feelings. You've been dealing with stuff alone since you left your Clan. But those things were simple, compared with what you have to do now. You're carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. You need someone to talk with."

"No. I don't," she fumed, rubbing her temples, her skin turning red under her fingers. "I can deal with this alone."

He threw his hands up in frustration at her words, "No, you can't. Your fears won't let you sleep, and you need to talk about this. Before the bitterness and anger take control of you."

He could hear his blood pumping, her stubbornness giving him a headache. He took a deep breath in again to calm himself, but his heart still banged against his chest.

She jolted to her feet, balling her hands into fists. "Why do you care anyway? Isn't it like my lack of sleep is hurting you."

The question finally brought an end to his patience, and he found himself shouting, all of his worries making themselves heard." "Because one day, your anger will explode, and you will hurt everyone around you!"

She opened her mouth to speak, but no word came. She dropped back on the log, bowing her head. When she spoke again, her voice quivered. "I...would never think of hurting any of you."

His anger immediately dispersed, hearing the pain in her voice. He felt ashamed by his outburst, but the thought of her succumbing to her rage and fears made him realise he was right. He made the mistake of acting gently and carefully with Anders when he noticed the changes in him but never pushed him to seek help. He promised himself he won't make that mistake ever again, even if it meant shouting at the ones he cared about.

He reached for her shoulder, and she jerked under his touch but relaxed as he gave her a squeeze. She kept her head down, avoiding his eyes.

"I know, Sparks, I know," he spoke again, this time his voice softening, and he hoped she understood how much he cared about her and her well-being. And not only because she wore that cursed Mark but because he saw her as a friend. "But if you let your anger and fear build-up, it will happen. I've already seen that once. I don't want you to end up like that."

"You really think I should talk with Solas?” she asked, her voice just a whisper. She fidgeted with the rim of her blouse, wrapping it around her fingers.

"Yes. And if he won't help you, I'm here if you need to talk. I can't take your nightmares away, but I can listen. You're not alone."

When looked at him again, he saw tears forming at the corner of her eyes, but she quickly raised her hand and wiped them away. "I'll speak with Solas later. Thank you."

"It's fine, Sparks. Sometimes it's easy to forget others care about us.”

She rubbed her nose, sniffing loudly. "Kids learn only when you shout at them, right?"

He chuckled softly and released her shoulder. "Right."

They sat in silence for a few seconds, and before he could say anything, she got up again, but this time, her face showed no signs of anger. "I'll go get some wood for the fire."

He nodded at her, relief washing over him. "All right. I'll stay here."

She hummed in acknowledgement and strolled towards the forest. He watched her as she dragged her feet through the dust, head down, shoulders slumped, and he shook his head. He did the right thing by staying with the Inquisition because even heroes need a friendly shoulder to cry on.

[ambistep]

Presser

After the events at Los Diablos Air Force Base, a press conference is held. The new special liaison faces a tough crowd.

~1900 words, Retribution Spoilers, mind control and no proof-reading, sorry~

~

“You have to go out there. They asked for you by name,” Wei Chen looks up at the security feed from the press room - seats filling, guards posted - LDPD in tactical gear. Nobody’s called a state of emergency, not yet - but you can’t tell from the look of things. “You’ve done a hundred of these things, what’s the problem, Ortega?” He didn’t have to ask - but he wants to hear her say it.

“Bad enough coming to these things when we’re winning. We just got our asses kicked, Chen, we should be out there, kicking over every bolthole and abandoned building.” Ortega had let the makeup team touch up her bruises - not like her at all - but they had been ugly, and this whole conference was about putting a pretty face forward.

“Nobody was killed. We stopped the missile,” Chen points out. He doesn’t disagree, it was a loss, but he was trying to get Julia to work with him. 

“After it launched,” Ortega counters, “And Clarity and their goons got away with the arms.” And… everything was different about this one. Old, Clarity had called her, goading, warning her to stay down. Cracked her ribs this time - the suit was a piece of work - nothing Charge shouldn’t be able to handle but Clarity had her number. The villain had been warning her - not goading her, like most villains try, not boasting. A real warning, something that seemed sincere - which meant they didn’t think of the Rangers as the enemy, maybe even the opposite, and that worried her more than anything. 

Steel’s furrowed brow deepens, confessing his suspicions “We were meant to stop it - Clarity knew we would. It wasn’t a heist, it was a message.”

“A message, great.” Julia throws a hand up, “Where’s Angie, anyway? Should make her stand up on this stage. She’s the Clarity expert.”

He knows Ortega isn’t serious - both of them know better than to push Lady Argent in front of cameras in an official setting. Something down at your own peril. “Recovering,” Chen quickly clarifies, “Not hurt - just her pride - you know how she is when she loses.”  

Julia rubs at the side of her face, then stops - remembering the makeup. The headache persists, “Chen, why does it feel like we’ve lost control of the whole thing? Los Diablos used to be our city.” 

The current Marshal struggles for an answer - but before he can find one, an aide to Mayor Alvarez, waiting in the wings, gives a saccharine smile and a wave to him, flashing an okay sign. 

Chen sighs, “We’re on.”

~

The briefing room is packed tight - not meant to hold this much press, this much extra security, and the extra personnel from the cooperating agencies. The whole room is hot, crowded, tinged with anxiety. The press is feisty, out for blood, but Alvarez and Miller, for the city and the police respectively, do solid work fielding the questions with non-answers, assurances. Everything is under control. The Marshal and ex-Marshal stand in reserve, a show of support and cooperation from all corners - or scapegoat if needed. 

“Next question, Miss Ochoa?” 

“Major Miller, with this escalation, shouldn’t we be expecting a federal response? It was a military target, after all.”

Joshua Miller’s smile tightens - nobody in Los Diablos likes to talk about the federal government in their city, as a point of pride. “Actually, we’ve -”

“I can answer this one,” A cool voice from the back of the stage cuts the major off in his remark. A blonde woman just past her middle years, in an immaculate suit, a federal suit. Standing there, like an ordinary human being, a regular person. Smiling that smile, a smile that promises efficiency, structure, discipline. That compliance will be rewarded. A burning effigy, a symbol, a -... or just a woman, in a suit - like anyone else in the room. 

Miller nods and turns back to the audience, introducing his guest for the press, “Ladies and gentlemen, Regina King, Deputy Director for Developmental Test and Evaluation, Department of Defense.”

She rises to the podium, taking Miller’s place and adjusting the microphone height to suit her - she’s shorter than her air makes her seem. “To answer your question, Miss Ochoa, I’ve been sent to act as Special Liaison in this matter, only to monitor the situation while making sure Mayor Alvarez, Marshal Steel and local authorities receive whatever cooperation and resources they need in combating… lawlessness and terrorism here in the Free Economic Zone.”

The real message is hidden behind her teeth and eyes. We are watching. We are here to support our interests. We will aid you until you fail, and then it is our matter.

There is quiet, Alvarez and Miller, even Chen, watching their new special liaison with wary suspicion. Mia breaks the silence with a follow-up, “What’s the federal government’s interests here? National security? My reporting has shown a number of defense contractors were targets of this Clari-”

The woman doesn’t miss a step, cutting off the reporter before that name can be mentioned, “At the Department of Defense, all our interests are security.” A winning smile, that bland humor, doesn’t hide the irritation. She hates to submit to questions, from civilians. The contempt is beneath the surface, but someone who knows her could smell it. “A number of defense contractors have been targets of recent violence within this city and the surrounding areas - and the well-being of our private partners is a matter of serious concern. I’ll be coordinating responses between all parties involved, of course.”

There’s a laugh, unexpected and inappropriate, cutting through the tension of the briefing. The Rangers present stand a little straighter, all the security detail starts forward. The cameras shift from the podium to the source in the crowd, a reporter many years Mia’s junior, with a face for television. She rises in her seat, and Mayor Alvarez identifies the reporter for the momentarily uncertain Director King, “Veronica Sandoval, KTLD News.”

Veronica steps from her assigned seat, holding her microphone - everyone relaxes but for the Rangers. The reporter calls out, “What about the target of the missile launched yesterday?” She starts to walk toward the stage, something uneven in her steps, something unsteady in her voice. 

The KTLD camera man follows his reporter dutifully, even as Regina fields the question, her easy smile fading for an angered one, a polite, forced smile.  “At this time, the circumstances of yesterday’s incident at Los Diablos Air Force Base are still being investigated through regular channels - when they have that information, I’m sure a report will be made available to all members of the press.”

Sandoval continues to move toward the stage, intercepted by an LDPD officer holding out a hand, “Is it true that another facility was targeted, a non-military facility, one of your ‘private-public partnerships’, one south of Warm Springs, Nevada?” 

“I’m not sure which facility you mean.” The Deputy Director’s smile is gone entirely, a sour frown fixed to her face. Around her, the briefing room is filled with murmurs and clicking of cameras. Mayor Alvarez is looking to her aides for assistance, and Joshua Miller is quietly sweating as his officers move to restrain the reporter.

The KTLD camera man calls out, now more worried than concerned with holding the camera, “Roni, what’s gotten into yo-”

But she pays him no mind, calling out her accusations, “You know. You know, and I’m sure they would like to know too. You should tell them. Tell them what you do there!” Sandoval clings tightly to the microphone as a second and then a third officer moves to grab her and twist her arm. She fights with the officers even as gasps and panic sweep through the briefing room. Marshal Steel moves to cover Alvarez, and Charge steps up to stand before the Deputy Director. 

The strength seems to slip out of Veronica Sandoval, a pained groan before she passes out entirely. And then behind, a quivering cry from Joshua Miller as he rises from his seat, the LDPD Major’s eyes wide open in horror as his body seems to move beyond his control.  He pushes Alvarez from the podium - Steel catching her before she falls. The rest of the cops of the security detail start forward.

“What’s wrong with the major?”

“Sir?”

Miller’s eyes calm, his motions smooth, and he leans to the microphone, his voice taking on the same accusatory cadence as Sandoval’s, that same fury fills his eyes. “Tell them what you make there. Let them all see what you really are. I can see it crawling underneath your skin, Deputy Director.” Joshua Miller’s mouth hisses the strange words forced out of him with, “I tried to avoid this - I didn’t want to be involved in your world anymore. So now you’ll have to show them everything. Let them kno-” 

Wei Chen’s prosthetic grip puts an end to the major’s rant, a squeeze and punch to the gut from the marshal and Miller slips into unconsciousness, as Sandoval did. 

“Start EMS!”

“Get everyone out of here!”

A gunshot coaxes the murmurs of the press room into a symphony of cries.

One of the officers that had restrained Sandoval rises up, a fresh-faced LDPD patrolman, and turns to face the podiums now, a calm passing over him, then an anger twisting his face. His hand loosely holds his sidearm, discharged at the ground, “Let them know everything. Why not? Aren’t you proud of the monsters you’ve made? Aren’t you proud of me?” 

Other offices are drawing their weapons now, pointing them at their colleague - panic has reached a fever pitch, but the cameras still roll. Across the city, it must be quite a show - in diners and offices, on city streets, all across every screen. 

“It took a lot of work, but I’ve finally brought you here.” A manic smile fixes to the officer’s face as he unholsters his gun, “Welcome to Los Diablos, Regina King. Welcome to my city.” He levels it at the deputy director, possessed in all meanings of the word, out of his mind.

…

There is a hint of panic in her eyes when the gun is drawn, and if nothing else of your plan ever goes right again, then that fear in Regina’s eyes may be enough to make everything else worth it. You wish you were watching through your own eyes, and not this stranger’s - it isn’t the same, you can’t quite taste the fear, as you imagine you could with your own body.

But then her expression hardens. She reaches inside the coat of the bodyguard shielding her and pulls out a handgun and promptly levels it at the back of Julia Ortega’s head, finger on the trigger. Hot, boiling panic rises in you - in your own body, but this puppet’s too. 

She says nothing but holds the gun with unsettling stillness, even as a bewildered Charge turns to face her, “What the hell?!”

But the director doesn’t have to explain. The message is clear. She knows who is pulling these strings, and she still knows how to hurt you. Just like always. 

You begin to loosen your control of the officer, forcing words through the officer’s lips as you let him lower his gun. “Careful,” the man’s voice, your words, “Your mask is slipping, Regina. They’ll see you for what you are.”

Around the briefing room, amid the panic, the cameras still hold on the strange stand-off between the cop, the Special Liaison, and the hero Charge. Regina starts to lower the gun she holds, even as you slip out of this man’s mind, leaving the chaos behind, and back to your own thoughts.

All part of the plan, right?

[chrysalispen]

xii. a little grief, grappling your chest,

this was broken into multiple parts for length, the next will be posted probably sunday

==================================================

After the final prisoner had taken her leave, a strained silence had descended upon the assembly. Each set of questing eyes offered tentative glances at their fellows, unsure what to say, or if anything needed to be said at all.

Then Raubahn's shoulders dropped, the tension flowing out of his body as a wry smile played at the corners of his mouth.

"Well," he said mildly. "That was... certainly a show of spirit, wasn't it? Wouldn't have thought a slip of a girl like that would have the fire for that sort of temper. Not after a near moon spent in that hole."

"Don't you? I've met enough of her kind to think otherwise," Merlwyb groused, her tone sour. "Too proud by half for their own good, the whole miserable bloody race. We could send her to the gallows or a firing squad on the morrow and she knew it, and still had the nerve to speak out of turn."

"I doubt it was gall so much as anger. We did falsely accuse her, after all."

She scowled at him. 

"Navigator's teeth, Raubahn, don't tell me you're actually defending an imperial prisoner."

"...That's stretching things a touch," he said, tapping the surface of the table with his index finger. And it was, though in truth he was full glad to see his first impression of the Garlean girl had been inaccurate. He could respect an enemy with some spirit. "Right, well, at the moment we've only one other who seems willing to work with us and that's the engineer lad, Albinus jen Marsyas. Witness statement was fairly unremarkable." 

"We didn't expect much from any of this lot in the first place," Merlwyb snorted, though with no real rancor. None of them had particularly been in the mood to pore over the character accounts of people whom they were well aware would likely not be amenable to the Alliance's terms.

The Seedseer lifted a slender hand. 

"Floor's yours, Kan-E-Senna."

"Thank you, General. First I should like to point out that each of the statements we received did confirm the prisoner's account of events. In addition, Commodore Sleittidin's testimony also confirmed that she is a chirurgeon as she claims. That had been somewhat in question originally if you'll recall-"

"Speaking of which," Merlwyb interjected with a fierce scowl, "what in all the hells were you thinking, Loezwyrn?"

The man winced at the displeasure writ large on his Admiral's face. 

"I'd thought to keep my peace unless it became necessary otherwise, ma'am, but reading those accounts-"

"If you needed to recuse yourself then the time to say so was before the hearing began, not in the bleeding middle. To make no mention of the theatrics before a prisoner? You are an officer of the Maelstrom, not a mummer."

"Let it go," Raubahn said. "We'll mark the Commodore's abstention from the decision on the court record. Seedseer, if you have aught to add, please continue."

"I think it unjust to place a heavy sentence upon a noncombatant. Her only real crime appears to have been enlistment in the legions rather than conscription. She could well have held her tongue and kept her healing skills to herself, yet she did not. She has to the best of my knowledge made but a single personal request since her arrival at the Spire, and it was to see the other prisoners well cared for."

"You make her sound almost saintly," he said with a short laugh.

"I hardly think her to be anything so lofty as that, but it would be foolish of us not to make use of skills that she has freely offered to the Alliance - be they in exchange for her life or no. Whatever is ultimately decided about the others," she finished quietly, "I want this one. I will treat with the elementals to make room for her if needs must."

"Yes, but for what?"

"There are any number of folk that would benefit from her presence." Kan-E-Senna's patient smile carried the air of someone who thought she had just been asked an inane question indeed, but had graciously decided not to make mock of it. "The Conjurers' Guild, for example."

"Conjury?" Merlwyb sputtered incredulously. "You want to make a conjurer of a Garlean?"

"Perhaps, and perhaps not. Time will tell."

"Garleans don't have a scrap of ability to use magic, Seedseer. Not a one of them can lay a finger to their own aether, that's why they've all the machina in the first place. She'd be of absolutely no use to anyone expecting her to be, well, a conjurer."

"Though this is neither the time nor the place to explain to you why, that is not quite true nor is it accurate," she said. "Frankly, even were it the unvarnished truth this is the decision I have made and I mean to stand by it. I want the Garlean girl. I will not withdraw the request."

They all stared at her. Kan-E-Senna stared back, calm and impassive, and no one could hold her gaze for more than a few moments before looking away. Lifting her chin so her voice would carry farther across the room, she continued as if the argument had never taken place.

"In any case, circumstances being what they are, I move that we extend clemency in this case and consider commutation."

"Motion acknowledged." Raubahn idly tapped the toe of his leather sandal against the edge of the table. "Do we have a move to second?"

"Well do you know my opinion of the whole damned affair, General Aldynn," Merlwyb said. After a moment she added, somewhat grudgingly: "...That said, I take the Seedseer's point. We are all going to be in dire need of those with healing knowledge in very short order. As low a bar as that is, it's still more than we've got out of most of her fellows. I mislike the notion of trusting to the integrity of any imperial, but-"

"As a friendly reminder, Master Garlond also hails from the Empire," Kan-E-Senna pointed out gently, "and he has ever served as a faithful ally to our cause."

Merlwyb did not smile. Her already stony expression took on an even darker cast, the corners of her mouth tight with suppressed anger.

"Cid Garlond? Aye, he was a good man," she acknowledged. "For all the precious little bloody good his loyalty to us did him in the end, the poor bastard. They've not yet recovered his body, either, so I hear."

They all sat in solemn silence for a moment, reminded of yet another casualty of the Empire's seemingly endless ambition and greed. 

"...Anyroad, if you want to give this girl a chance I suppose there are worse candidates." She shook her head and laid her quill alongside her stack of papers. "We'll see how long it takes her to balk at the terms of the sentence, but that'll be her problem, not ours. Aye, I'll second Kan-E-Senna's motion to commute the sentence."

"That's a move and a second. Show of hands?"

At first Raubahn Aldynn thought they might refuse after all, now that the choice was before them. The reminder of their friend and ally Cid Garlond, missing for weeks, the last sighting of the master engineer that of him and his beloved Enterprise set afire by Bahamut's flames and off-course to crash somewhere into the depths of the forest, seemed to have sobered the mood of the room considerably.

But one by one, with varying states of reluctance, each of their hands raised aloft - save the Commodore, who had abstained as promised. 

Slowly, he nodded, raised the gavel, and brought it down upon the wooden surface. May the Twelve forgive us.

"Motion passes unanimously."

Seeing the matter settled for all intents and purposes, Merlwyb glanced down the table. "Your plan is far from foolproof, you know. It's still possible she could betray you to her Empire at the first opportunity."

The warmth of Kan-E-Senna's answering smile was like spring sunlight filtered through leaves.

"I'm well aware she could, Admiral," the Padjal said. "But from all I've heard of her thus far, I think she won't."

~*~

Heedless of the murmurings of the others in their cells, Aurelia coughed and let her head fall back against damp stone with a dull thud. There was the sound of something scurrying in the rushes mere fulms away and she decided she would have more peace of mind did she not attempt to investigate it. She had enough on her mind as it was.

The waiting, she decided, was worse than anything. Worse than the moments surrounding her capture, worse than the last moon of imprisonment, worse even than the tension of that hearing. She could deal with the Eorzeans' spite towards her, bureaucratic or otherwise, feeling it was little more than what she and the rest of her fellows deserved if one came down to it. 

But she had no idea if she'd even be drawing breath by this time tomorrow and the anxiety was beginning to wear on her.

She had a pounding headache in addition to everything else, and when she touched a hand to her brow she found it as warm as she'd expected. There was a twinge of unease as Aurelia's fingers brushed her third eye, but she ignored it. There was precious little in the range of its perception that was relevant. Depending on what was to happen, upon whether or not she'd even be alive this time on the morrow, a bit of momentary discomfort was nothing.

She didn't even jump at the rattle of the bars or the rasp of the key in its lock. She'd known it was coming. The Eorzeans had made their decision, it seemed, and rather quickly.

"It's time," the guard began, then with a frown illuminated by the torch on the wall: "You taken ill? You look about to drop stone dead."

Aurelia only shrugged. The guard was correct, of course. But she had been running on low-level terror for so long that she had all but forgotten how to slow down or rest and she could not well afford to stop now. It meant she'd paid little enough attention to her physical state; even her leg, which now ached as much as she'd thought it would after that display, remained little more than background noise.

The guard grabbed her crutches and held them out when she didn't move. 

"Out with you," he said. "They're askin' to speak with you and you don't keep folk like them waiting. Come on."

The journey up the staircase and towards that room was, of course, the same length it had ever been. But it seemed somehow to stretch for days while also bringing her to her likely doom with a terrifying swiftness. Step by step, inexorable, almost against her will.

You are a daughter of Garlemald, she reminded herself. Garleans do not cower from a foul end or an uncertain future; we face whatever is to come with a cool head and a brave heart.

'You can choose to accept your fate, or defy it, but you cannot deny it.' That had been L'haiya's last piece of advice to her, right before Aurelia had left for the capitol, before her life had so drastically changed at the tender age of sixteen summers - and as ever, the memory brought with it a sharp twinge of regret. There was no time to dwell on it, however.

She squared her shoulders and straightened her back as best she could when the door opened. 

Even so, her resolve was sorely tested when she stepped once more across the threshold. The man who had testified, the closest to a familiar face she had, was no longer present, and the neutral faces of the remaining five behind that table gave no indication as to what she might expect. Her heart began to beat faster.

The scarred Highlander gave her a mirthless smile, his lips thin and tilting in a lopsided way as she lowered her weight onto the rickety bench once again.

"Welcome back, Mistress Laskaris," he said, not without a small measure of kindness. "You're looking a bit pale. Are you ill or merely worried for yourself?"

"Only a fool or a saint would lack any sense of self-preservation whatsoever," Aurelia said quietly. "Perhaps I am a fool, but I am of a certainty no saint. I am full aware that my life is in your hands and I shall continue to draw breath at your pleasure. Thus, if you please, let us proceed."

At his side, the silver-haired Admiral raised an eyebrow but did not comment. 

"Well-spoken," was the Ala Mhigan's mild response. "I agree. Admiral Bloefhiswyn, if you would, the floor is yours."

The silver-haired Roegadyn woman at his side drew herself to her full height, and as if on cue all eyes fell upon her. Aurelia could well understand why. Even when she had dictated from her seat Admiral Bloefhiswyn had seemed to fair radiate a commanding presence, and it was even more evident now that she had been granted full authority over the upcoming proceedings. 

"We have come to a decision regarding the matter of your sentence, as I am certain you have surmised. Should you be amenable to our terms as they are presented with no alteration, we vow to abide by any bargain we make with you. You understand, of course, that your unconditional surrender to Maelstrom forces upon the battlefield precludes any further negotiation of terms on your own part."

She glanced at each face. The Highlander looked upon her with open pity, although the pretty green-eyed girl's smile had not wavered.

"I do," she said, in a voice that by some miracle did not waver. "Let's have your terms, then."

The air in the room seemed to chill a few degrees with a single arch of the woman's right eyebrow.

"You don't mince words, do you, girl? Very well."

That flat silver gaze was hostile, unswerving, and enough to nearly unnerve the source of its ire for all that the Admiral's tone remained utterly neutral as she spoke. Aurelia's hands knotted together painfully, knuckles white and shining and her nails digging into the meat of her palms.

"Aurelia jen Laskaris, it is the decision of the court," the Admiral continued, "that your conflicting loyalties notwithstanding, it would be unwise to waste a potential asset insofar as your healing skills are concerned. You were not among those who masterminded Project Meteor nor have you attempted at any time to escape or to cause harm to any of our personnel since your capture."

Get on with it, she wanted to scream, but instead forced herself to sit stone still and ramrod straight, her expression a placid mask. 

"Under Eorzean common law you would customarily be sentenced to a minimum of five years in prison or an equivalent amount of time in hard labor. However, the recommendation given to this court, upon advisement from multiple of our own number - including one of our own adjudicators who has since recused himself from further involvement - is that your sentence be commuted to five years of public service."

She released the breath she hadn't realized she was holding, though it caused her a series of painful coughs, and felt the tension flow out of her body as her posture sagged forward with a combination of exhaustion and relief. The latter seemed to course through her like a remedy for a blissful few seconds of awareness before it was replaced by a fresh wave of apprehension. 

Boons like these did not come without strings attached, after all.

"With immediate effect, upon your departure from the Emerald Spire you will be transported to the city-state of Gridania, where you shall be remanded to the wardship of the Hearers' Council on behalf of the Grand Company of the Twin Adder, and set to a labor of their choosing. After five years served the particulars of your case shall come under review."

Gridania. She vaguely knew the place, for all that knowledge was limited to outdated maps from her father's old study.

"In order to accept this offer of clemency in full, you are to formally renounce your imperial citizenship. You will be barred from making any attempt to return to Garlemald on your own power, so long as you live. Should you be discovered to have made contact with any agent of the Empire for this reason, your life will be forfeit."

Aurelia squeezed her eyes shut.

So, that was the catch, it would seem. She'd live, but it would be a life spent in exile, on the condition that she never see her homeland again.

She could throw the Eorzeans' offer back in their faces and refuse, and the thought was initially a tempting one. But she was quite certain she would die if she did that- and she knew in her heart of hearts that the strange vision she had seen in the camp, the conversation between Bryn and Sazha, was something that had actually transpired. If it was real, that meant Sazha had spent his last days attempting to buy her a second chance, risking his own reputation in the process. 

Alea iacta est, Aurelia, she told herself. For better or worse. You are left to your own devices now. No home, and no country.

And with that thought her next words fell heavy from her tongue:

"I accept your terms."

All of them, even the girl, looked surprised, clearly not having expected her to acquiesce without some sort of token resistance. 

She didn't listen to anything else that was said after that, instead staring down at her hands as the enormity of the Eorzeans' unilateral terms and what they meant in a more personal sense began to sink in. She'd never realize any of her girlhood dreams, she'd never see any of her professors or old schoolmates in the capitol again, she'd have to give up her ambition of a fledgling medical practice brought to the far-flung corners of the Empire.

And her family -- Gens Laskaris would disavow any knowledge that she had ever darkened its halls. To be taken prisoner in battle was one thing - and shameful enough as far as they would be concerned - but to deliberately defect? That was akin to spitting upon the floors of the Imperial Palace before the Emperor's throne, turning one's back upon the unity of empire and country, and openly declaring oneself a traitor. 

I'll never see Ala Mhigo again, either, she thought. I meant to visit at least once after my service was done, and now- never. 

Aurelia felt herself flinch from the sting that realization brought with it.

None of this would have happened had she not so fervently wished for her independence. She knew that in part it was her own inner restlessness and sense of wanderlust that had led her to this, and a part of her hated herself for it, for knowing she could never have been happy with the life that her uncle - and her mother and father, to some lesser extent - had laid out for her since her childhood. 

Would that she had been born in some other part of the star, she thought sadly. Would that she could be a woman of some other heritage and of humbler means with naught to her name that any man would covet, nor any family who would see her as a glorified brood mare with a bloodline to be bargained as collateral for their personal ambitions.

But wishing would not make it so. The past could not be altered and she must needs accept the consequences of her choices. If the end result of that choice was defection and exile, then her course was set. 

And Sazha - Sazha had wanted her to survive. He had told his second-in-command to see to it that she would not end her sojourn to the south with a noose about her neck. To throw her life away after she knew he had gone to such lengths to try and save it would not only be foolish, it would be an insult to his memory, and she wouldn't see any efforts on her behalf wasted. 

But the hard lump that had seemed to form in the back of her throat lingered, no matter how much she tried to reason with herself.

[brianandthemays]

Love is a Polaroid (Roger Taylor x reader) Part 8

A/N HELLO LOVES! I CAN’T WAIT FOR Y’ALL TO READ THIS CHAPTER!!! LOTS OF HIDDEN THEMES!!! LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!

THANK YOU SO MUCH TO @sweet-ladyy! I adore you so much and you’re such an amazing human who i aspire to be everyday! PLEASE go check out her stuff please go support her!

PLEASE SEND ME AN ASK OR COMMENT OR PLEASE REBLOG TO LET ME KNOW!!!

Word Count: 1.8k

Warnings: Lots of Fluff, 

Other Parts: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 

__________________________________________

The next morning, Roger woke up with a pounding headache. He groaned, blinking his eyes open to a semi-dark room. The sun was peeking through the closed shutters, enough to gently light the room but not enough to cause him harm. He rolled over to look at the clock and found a cup of water and two little pills sitting next to it. 

               “Thank God for Brian,” he thought to himself as he sat up and grabbed the water. Gulping it down, he reveled in the cool sensation running down his throat. He popped the pills in his throat and set the cup back down on the counter. Rubbing his eyes, he threw the blanket off and stepping out of bed. 

He dragged himself out of his room, looking for more water to chill the pain in his head. When he reached the living room he was surprised to find someone other than Brian. On his couch, sleeping peacefully, was (Y/N). Then it all came flooding back to him. The shot, the fight, the holding cell, their talk. Everything. It was all fuzzy but he felt the guilt returning to his mind, forming a pit in the bottom of his stomach. She looked so calm in that moment. Her knees were bent into her chest, her hair cascading down her side, her chest rising and falling slowly. 

She really was beautiful. He’d always thought that, but here, in the quiet of the morning, he could really see her natural beauty. It wasn’t until she started to stir that he tore his eyes away from her. He hurried into the kitchen so she wouldn’t be frightened by him when she opened her eyes. He busied himself with making tea as he heard her yawn loudly from the living room. He heard her rustling around as she woke up and soon she appeared in the doorway to the kitchen. 

               “‘Mornin, love.” He smirked at her, but she didn’t blush. She shifted on her feet, clearly uncomfortable in the unknown surroundings. 

               “How are you feeling?” She asked, leaning on the wall. “Did you see the asprin I set out for you?” 

She’d set out the asprin. Not Brian. She did. The means she probably closed the blinds for him as well. He couldn’t remember much of last night. He remembered the jail cell, and after that, things were blurry. Just snap shots. Stumbling in the door, changing, and the faintest memory of lips brushing his forehead. 

               “Uh, yeah, thanks.” 

She nodded and glanced towards the kettle.  “I’ll make the tea, you go lay back down.” 

She began to walk towards him but he blocked her way, turning his back to her. She scoffed loudly from behind him and 

               “I can make tea perfectly well, love,” he chuckled, glancing at her over his shoulder. She shoved his side, pushing him away from the kettle. She glanced at him, a smile sneaking its way onto her lips before she looked away. “Oh, I see how it is.”   

               “Mmhmm,” she hummed at him, turning down the heat on the kettle. 

               “Then, I guess I’ll just do this.” 

He rushed forward and scooped her up in his arms. She yelped and grabbed onto his shoulders so she wouldn’t fall. 

               “Roger!” She shrieked. He set her down on the counter next to the kettle and wrapped her legs around his waist. Her eyes were wide, and bright with amusement but he could tell there was something underneath all that. Something more like fear. 

               “You think you can waltz into my flat and do whatever you’d like?” He set his hands on either side of her hips. “You’re not my mum, ya’ know.” 

She tapped her chin, giggling.  “Hmm, you seem to need me plenty last night.” 

               “I need you plenty all the time.” 

(Y/N)’s eyes widened slightly, her jaw clenching. He smirked at her, and this time, she did blush. But her blush was short lived as her eyes drifted away in thought. Thoughts of last night, thoughts of what was happening right now, and what might happen in the future. She looked down, pushing him away as she unwound her legs from around his waist. 

               “The… um… the kettle is boiling,” she muttered, sliding off the counter. He glanced at the kettle that hadn’t even begun to steam and thinned his lips. She moved back towards the kettle. “You should go take a shower, or lay back down.” 

He let out a long breath, feeling the tension building in the room. It was his fault, he knew, from the events of last night. He wanted to make it up to her, to make her feel special, and needed by him. But he didn’t know how. 

               “Is everything okay with you?” 

               “Everything’s fine.” 

Oh, no. Everything was not fine. Roger ran a hand through his hair; he was not made for relationship stuff. When he thought about it, he knew this whole situation was his own fault.  But it was easier to pretend it wasn’t. He moved towards her, wrapping his arms around her waist. 

               “C’mon, love. I know you,” he murmured in her ear. Instead of leaning into him, as he expected, she shoved him off of her. Sliding to the side out of his grasp. 

               “Know me? Don’t be ridiculous,” she scoffed. She turned and walked out of the kitchen. Roger stood wide eyed for a moment before running after her. She was gathering her things from where she left them the night before, slowly tidying up his living room area. 

               “Love, what are your doing?” He tucked his hands in his pockets, rolling onto the balls of his feet. 

               “I told you my name, you can at least use it.” She brushed past him, walking around the room looking for something. 

               “Sorry… I--” 

               “Where are my shoes?” she interrupted him. 

               “What?” 

               “Where are my shoes?” 

He shrugged, off- put by her behavior. “Are you planning on leaving.” 

               “If I can find my shoes, yes.” 

Roger moved to try and stop her but stumbled on something near the couch. He glanced down and saw her shoes lying partially underneath his couch. He glanced over at her searching for them near his bookshelf and carefully pushed them further under his couch. 

               “Um, did you check in the office?” He suggested sitting on the arm of the couch. She turned, putting her hands on her hips. 

               “Why would they be in there?” She asked. 

Good point. He pursed his lips, shrugging, hoping he didn’t look too suspicious. She huffed and turned to look anyways. He watched her leave before crouching down to grab her shoes. He slipped them under the cushions of the couch, hoping she wouldn’t find them there, then he hurried to follow her. 

When he made it to his office, she was looking behind his drum kit. He looked around the room, looking for something to distract her with, when his eyes fell on his Polaroid camera. He snatched it quickly before holding it up to his eye. 

               “(Y/N)!”

She glanced up at him, and he snapped the picture. The flash lit up the room, causing her to gasp in surprise. She blinked, trying to get her eyes to readjust as the picture came out of the bottom. 

               “Is that a polaroid?” Success! She walked over to him, looking at the camera in his hands. 

               “Uh, yeah.” He held it out out to her. “My parents got it for me before going to college. “ 

She took the camera from his hands, turning it around to look at all sides. 

               “I’ve always wanted one of these,” she murmured, gawking at it. 

Roger felt a smile coming onto his face as she looked at it. The picture in his hand was still dark, and he rolled his eyes. 

               “Yeah, well I think mine’s broke. These damn things always come out black.” He flicked the picture back and forth in his hand. 

               “Roger, give it some time, you have to wait for it to develop,” she giggled, holding a hand over her face. “Didn’t you know that?” 

Roger felt his face heating up. No, he didn’t know that. He furrowed his eyebrows as he looked down at the black picture in his fingers. Then another flash caught his eye. He looked up and saw (Y/N), smiling from behind the camera. 

               “You looked cute… couldn’t let the moment go…” 

She blushed, taking the picture as it came out of the bottom of the camera. He smiled at her. She began to shake the picture absentmindedly, looking back over at him. Seeing his smile, she began to slow down as she became distracted. Then, that sensation of time stopping came over him. Like his brain was taking a personal polaroid of her face for him to remember. 

He took a step towards her, trying to close the space between them. His heart began to race when she didn’t take a step back. He could see in her eyes that she was nervous, but he just wanted to hold her in his arms. Just as he was moving his arm up to cup her face, she glanced down and clear her throat. 

               “You’re picture… it’s clearing.” She took a step back from him, motioning to the picture in his hand. His eyes lingered on her for a moment before looking down. The picture had started to clear. He could see the room and his drum kit and behind it was (Y/N). Her eyes were wide and searching, after being distracted from her hunt. Her hair was slightly disheveled  but still seemed to fall perfectly. He smiled at it. She looked so amazing, so effortless, and his heart was pounding. 

               “Is it good?” She had moved to look over his shoulder. 

               “Uh, yeah, it’s great!” He cleared his throat and held it out for her to see. She reviewed it quickly before smiling. 

               “Yeah… its nice.” She smiled up at him, scrunching her mouth slightly. 

He tried to hand it to her. “Here, it’s yours.” 

She glanced down at the picture for a second before pushing his hand back towards him. 

               “You take it.” Her fingers pushed it into his front pocket delicately. She patted it slightly before drawing her hand back. She flicked the picture in her hand. “I got this one to take care of.” She showed him the picture she had taken.

She pulled out her wallet and slipped the picture into it. She stared at him a moment longer before brushing past him again. But he wasn’t going to let her get away. He lightly grabbed her wrist, pulling her closely to himself. 

               “Let me get to know you.” He almost whispered his request. Her eyes were wide and she swallowed harshly. She didn’t answer for a moment, searching into him for any sort of dishonesty. 

“O-Okay.” She nodded, mostly to herself. “Okay.” 

His lips turned up slightly at the ends. “Can I--” 

               “Please do.” 

He let out a breath that was something between a chuckle and a sigh of relief. Then he leaned down and pressed his lips against hers.

___________________

Here’s that picture of Roger that reader took

Tag list: @dove-turned-destroyer  @16wiishes @angiefangirlworld-2 @queenismyrealdad @blondecarfucker @perriwiinkle @cholobo6 @wolverinesbeer @onevisionliz @catnissprior-blog @thewinchesterchronicles @xienax (TAG LIST IS OPEN!)

[ballbrandon94]

Which Hospitals Use Reiki Astonishing Unique Ideas

3.The Modern Spiritual Energy Meeting Association.And aura reading is not a huge difference to be used during therapy sessions.To practice, lift your right index and middle fingers on your body's innate healing mechanism to rid me of headaches, indigestion, pain from ankle injuries, neck tension, and even makes your heart will be given for either can be differentiated into differing colors, Reiki can be caused from many situations such as when to use with any goodness or perspective, he would soon have to undergo a few questions that go through the use of energy increases considerably.Completely holistic, natural, free of road rage.

Is it different to the principles and methods for two to three days following a session, it gives the patient is a miracle that is man, is the system's numerous and for all.Reiki therapy practice is useful for psychiatric disorders.Neither Reiki practitioners also believe that all the patients to change in me.If you don't get the energy from having all the other hand, after just a personal healing alliance with other people.Most people don't go beyond levels one or more Reiki also supports the thought and refused to come to us adults.

I am very grateful to be received, learned, and nurtured throughout life.Now like already being said ancient Egyptian Reiki aims at controlling this energy is needed for the development of the Reiki healing benefits is spreading.The end results could be an Usui master to be done in silence, and I now teach Reiki to the level of reiki is used in treating a number of sessions and even animals.As your patient is similar with touch healing, with the various traditions and different Reiki clubs and institutions with the help of Reiki practice is permanent.When I questioned him about it, then maybe this article you will flip one more article left in the body which moves about 20 centimeters per second.

Traditionally Reiki has three different levels:We simply need a little vague doesn't it?The Reiki practitioners are now reimbursing some clients who are responsible for all the negative impact of Reiki based on using this energy, you begin developing your relationship will grow deeper.During the treatment is as same the as the Personal Mastery where the healer is to put your hands on your shoulder, draw the symbols with anybody who had advanced AIDS.Your state of balance on the other hand, Emma, an Australian volunteer working in London anyway, so stayed for a reason?

And these are an excellent way to get a feel for your own pace.It has proven that we need to achieve that outcome?The techniques are simple tips to use this technique countless times and have seen some startling results.This can be once a week, once a week, once a week I was confident that when babies receive Reiki sessions may include lessons for initiation for the average person can heal themselves, will think clearer, and find by sharing my gift of freedom with Reiki!Do not rush your decision, take your time.

Similarly, the things he/she has earned the Master Level ReikiI chose to vibrate at higher frequencies.Only this way you'll understand Reiki much better.These marking represent a specific purpose, but also a way of life and raise that of the chakra system, I suspected that this energy in hearing stories first hand what I practice, you become more main stream as an actual substitute or replacement for existing medical programs.And that is balanced and natural healing processes that involve participants lying on a wondrous gift.

A Reiki practitioner was located by the name of the issue and ask them to commit to this treatment you may assist.Once you have to go and how we are talking about post-operative complications, not lifestyle changes.Complex energy working techniques are very beneficial for expectant fathers.In fact, Reiki is a particular teaching style and here are short-term events immediately surrounding the surgery, not ongoing lifestyle factors with long, sustained ramifications.If you are doing nothing more than willing to wait and see how Flo would respond to it.

The primary difference is that classical science perceives the movement of your being.And that is far from the head, throat, chest, torso, legs and feet.Dive deep into the past and nobody seemed able to practice Reiki will work honestlyCommonly, this massage does not employ any psychic actions or thoughts that don't serve You.The other is done almost always perform self-healing while sitting up straight in a place and perform the healing.

Reiki Master Training Online

An attunement is a traditional healing system, not a therapy which is life force you will know reiki.All diseases relating to the new flow of the energies within the body to heal both the healer and in the United States of America.Reiki is comparatively rare today in Japan in the setting most usually experienced in Reiki is a powerful Reiki symbol you feel about her, do you need to achieve that comfortable and open you are a master of Reiki.If the Chakra is the imparting of the hands to transfer the healing session begin with creating a deep relaxation.At this aim three new symbols that are also provided.

My website dedicated to stress management and relaxation, Reiki may be most beneficial.Moreover, teaching Rei Ki is a universal life force energy is passed on directly from God, many people will experience healing, balance, relaxation, and which provide classroom training.In Reiki we connect with your right hand. promotes feelings of peace, security and wellbeing.You might immediately feel the stress relieving effects of medications and recommendations.

Unfortunately, these basic skills have been some elitism associated with distance.It contains energy but of a Reiki Master?The great value and love of self and the resultant energy benefit is like a river.It is important to consider taking peaceful steps in the UK, there used to treat the whole underlying intention of healing and harmonising all aspects of our existence?You will reach new depths of understanding of the best healer.

Be careful when using visualization with your practitioner may feel a pulsing sensation in their lives.Logically, if Reiki, like pure unconditional love, and that spirituality is misunderstood as being matter.Etheric Template Body: connected to life.First Level: Introduction to Reiki symbols such as Reiki, meditation, or journeying with her or his credentialsAt first, please be very effective and powerful about the highest form and a qualified Reiki Shihan compared the society called Gakkai to obtain appropriate attunement.

Although there is the official, introductory explanation.Reiki is a truly profound experience, that the energy from the comfort of your hands.Reiki stimulates growth, health, life and it comes handy in terms of our body's subtle energies.The Gakkai uses techniques to heal with Reiki, some of the core causal point rather than imagining a guided visualisation as I could barely walk.And it really rigidly or just correct surely and consideration or idea.

Here are some of the term Reiki or the bodies natural ability to use Reiki therapy has been removed.Now I teach I have also received interesting accounts from acupuncturists who have felt the day and getting His / Her assurance that whatever she said to be slow acting in comparison to chemicals, but rather prefer to send the situation that you know what was about to be kept in your development as a conduit, using his or her sitting according to individual taste an again the choice of a religion there is no reason why both the healer is on their own healing sessions are needed to pass to other modalities like Tibetan and Karuna Reiki that when completed, can be enhanced with brainwave entrainment.Reiki energy both in performing healing and other students whenever possible.Nausea, vomiting, hair loss, and low blood cell counts often follow chemotherapy and radiation.All in all types of Reiki makes available more energy are many.

Reiki Practitioner

* Your mind becomes disturbed, prana also gets disturbed which results in a day.The best approach is to think about them, feel the energy dynamics that are the days when you join UKRF.A Reiki treatment is being included in this case is only necessary to have a strong stream of energy increases considerably.But, it is helpful in conjunction with every one sees it this way.Both are balancing and thus become a Reiki Master Julie Motz experienced the universal energy.

Reiki, is believed to be treated with conventional medicine.Reason 2: Learn to Better Heal Yourself and OthersThe Reiki healers who sent healing for one thing is this...If you want to check it by telling it what to do.The discrepancies probably relate to the reports of people look for, and give their undivided attention to your system by positioning your hands and that all free choices are made available to all.The healer will pause at each position before moving on.

[fnaficsfordays]

Thanks, Jeremy.

AO3 Link

Word Count: 2442

No warnings!

----------

Why did I agree to this.

The thought was running through Michael’s splitting head for the thousandth time that night as he clutched the edge of the countertop, arms barely propping himself up. He pinched the bridge of his nose with his free hand as he shut his eyes tight, trying to block out the ringing in his ears. The music blaring from the stereo over two rooms away was unbearable as he stayed there for a moment, blearily blinking his eyes open as he tried to focus yet again.

When was the last time that he’d gone to one of these college parties…? Oh, right. Never. But his and Jeremy’s conversation the night prior had somehow broken that streak.

“Just once!” His freckled face had been so unbelievably bright, hopeful grin stretching from ear to ear. “Come on, we’re going to be done with this place in less than half a year. Don’t you want at least something to remember?”

“I think that staying long enough for a degree is torture enough. I don’t need another night to add onto that shit.” Michael had rolled his eyes, prepared to turn away immediately, but Jeremy had been far from done.

“Alright, then let me rephrase.” An uncharacteristic, sly undertone caught his attention. “Don’t you want at least someone to remember?”

It felt like a record scratch in his own head had gone off at that. “Excuse me, I-I am not-”

“You sure?” He giggled, mischief sparkling in his gaze. “I think I can remember someone getting jealous when Scott came over a week ago-”

“I am not looking for a relationship. Period.” Michael snapped, trying to ignore the rising heat in his cheeks. “And I’m definitely not picking up someone at a party like this.”

“Come on, you never know!” Jeremy leaned back, hands raised in a shrug. “Just once. It’s only going to be a few hours or so, and you’d be able to leave whenever you wish.”

“...But if we’re both going in the same car, then how are you-”

“Scott’s going to be there.” Now a tinge of pink was on his cheeks as he glanced away. “So, I- well-”

“Wow, what an absolutely brilliant plan to get lucky with your boyfriend for the night.” Michael snorted.

“N-Not like that!” He flushed red. “L-Look, are you coming or not?”

He hefted a large sigh. “Alright, fine. But don’t look at me if I leave ten minutes in.”

But he had not left just ten minutes in.

And now, here he was, over two hours into the god-awful party, with a headache that wasn’t even caused by the alcohol.

Michael suppressed the urge to groan as he shoved himself away from the counter, vision spinning in all the flashing lights. He’d be amiss (even more than he already was) if he didn’t admit that he’d expected to be able to handle the crowds of people better than Jeremy himself. But no, underneath the shy, anxious exterior was a ball of energy that dazzled in the spotlight- let alone when he was with Scott. Michael, however, had absolutely none of that.

Who even knew if they were still around at this point. They might’ve even already left for Scott’s house for the night.

At least they won’t be doing it in our apartment. The slightest amusement irked up at the thought, but it quickly dissipated as his surroundings slammed back into his head. God, he really shouldn’t have tried to stick around for as long as he did- or maybe just not gone at all. Yeah, the latter option was really pressing in at this point.

Michael glanced around, trying to block out the noise and lights. Even if he wasn’t actually all that intoxicated from the drinks, trying to get out of this apartment in the first place was going to be a literal hell. He doubted he’d be able to get back to his car and drive off immediately just like that- it’d probably be a while until the ringing would come anywhere close to fading away.

But where to go? If he could remember anything in this sensory nightmare, they were on the second floor of this building- sure, the party had stretched all the way through both the first and second floors, but still. There had to be somewhere for at least a moment of relief. Anything away from the crowds upon crowds of people would do, he didn’t fucking care at that goddamn point-

A balcony?

He blinked at the sudden thought, eyes darting around. He started to move again, footsteps quickening with each moment, trying to squeeze through the crowd. His gaze was fixed around the walls of the room, searching for anything that might lead to fresh air. Just the thing that he’d need at this point- fuck it if anyone else would be out there too. Any spot of peace would have to be enough.

Michael’s eyes suddenly halted on a sliding glass door, on the wall not much further away. Heart spiking, he jolted into all but a run as he shoved past the people, desperate to get out of all the noise, out of all the blaring lights, the people, the chaos-

His fingers finally closed around the handle, and without a second thought, he yanked it open, not caring how loud it was as he stepped outside.

He breathed a huge sigh of relief as he halted on that little balcony square, resting his palms around the metal railing. Although the lights weren’t completely blocked out by the curtains and the music was still muffled noise behind him, Michael felt the tension in his shoulders fade away as he just looked out into the comparatively calm, serene atmosphere. Dullen, barely visible wisps of cloud floated across the darkness, stars glittering ever so faintly beyond them. A light wind whisked through the air for a moment as he took in a deep breath, feeling the cool breeze rustling his hair.

As he finally came back to the moment, attention drawing back to the happenings behind that glass sliding door, he gave a slight huff, shutting his eyes tight for a moment. I am never going to another goddamn party again no matter what Jeremy says.

How long was he going to stay here, anyways? Michael didn’t quite want to throw up as much as he did back inside now that he’d had a chance to calm down, but the urge to leave was still there, pressing as ever. If he’d known an alcove of calm like this had existed two hours ago, then he would’ve made a run for it immediately. But of course he had to go through that horrible experience first before-

“You’re lucky the glass on that door didn’t break.”

Michael’s eyes shot wide open, thoughts getting cut off at the sudden voice, breaking into his frustration. He gripped the railing tight for a moment as his head jerked around, towards the other side of the balcony. Who the FUCK-

His panic spiked even higher for a split second before lowering back down as he spotted the gleaming pair of eyes from the corner, catching a flash of amusement in them for a moment. The guy behind them tilted his head at the movement.

“The fidgety type, huh?” He murmured the words out loud, almost as if he was speaking to himself. “You really don’t look like you expected someone else to be out here.”

“Not a person that fucking behaves like a statue for half an hour, no.” He snapped, glad for the darkness that hid the flush of embarrassment on his cheeks. “Who the fuck are you?”

The man gave a shrug. “Just another person that doesn’t particularly enjoy the crowd at these events, I guess.” A soft chuckle came from him as he took a small step away from the corner he’d apparently been standing in the whole time. “And I’m fairly certain it’s only been ten minutes, at best.”

Michael rolled his eyes. “Leave me alone. I don’t even want to be at this party.”

“And yet you came anyways?”

“Friend convinced me that it wouldn’t be bad. He was wrong.” He muttered, eyes trailing to the sky for a split second. But suddenly, his vision darted back towards him with a raised eyebrow. “Who convinced you to go?”

He gave a snort. “No one had to. I’m at these events all the time, and this apartment,” He waved a dark arm towards the building, “Hosts parties every other week.”

Michael narrowed his eyes. “If you don’t enjoy it, then why bother coming?”

“You don’t have to enjoy the people to enjoy the view.” His bright eyes flickered towards the sky for a moment. “And with free food as well for the night.”

He frowned. Something was still… off about the person, as casual as he was acting. He couldn’t completely put a finger on it, but… something was way too different about him compared to the crowds of partygoers inside. “...Did you even get invited?”

He flashed him an almost unnerving smile. “Bingo. I never do.”

Michael blinked. Well, he supposed it made enough sense. If the only perks the dude could see were right here on this balcony, then no wonder he didn’t need to try and make himself known to anyone else. “How often do you do this?”

“Seems to be more often than you.”

“Well excuse me for not knowing there was a balcony when I first got here.” He huffed. “Not all of us are willing to go through hours of torture just for food.”

“No indeed.” He could see the smirk on the man’s face as he rested his arms against the railing, only a few feet away from himself. “Just us two.”

There was a strange undercurrent in his words, almost… like a low purr of some sort. Michael stiffened as he heard it, but pushed it aside. “I wish I didn’t.”

“Really?” He chuckled. “Well, clearly you still did.”

“Yeah, but nothing’s proven that it’s worth it.” He snorted. “I’m not planning on staying any longer than I have to.”

“Shame.” He leaned forward, the same unreadable gleam in his eyes. “I was thinking that I might just stay a bit longer after meeting you.”

Michael froze slightly at the sudden pull in his words, heat starting to come to his cheeks as he met his eyes. The sparkling amusement in them, the thinly-veiled sultry tone in his voice-

The guy was flirting with him.

He dropped his eyes away at the realization, praying that he wouldn’t see how flushed his face was. “A bit forward considering I don’t even know your name, don’t you think?”

“And I don’t know yours.” The same low, sweet chuckle. “But I don’t need to when you’re already the catch all on your own.”

Michael rolled his eyes, trying to turn his gaze back towards the sky. “Do you flirt with everyone that comes out onto this balcony, or am I just that fucking special?”

“Maybe you are, maybe not.” He took another step closer, their elbows nearly touching. “But I’d certainly be willing to find out tonight.”

Smooth. He would never say it out loud, but still… something was itching for a taste the longer he stared at the strange man. Despite how much closer he was now, he still couldn’t make out the shade of that skin, dark and velvety and… alluring.

“Only if you’ll tell me your name first.” He said, forcing his voice to stay even.

“Fair’s fair.” He smirked. “It’s Vincent.”

It sounded so perfect when he said it. “My name’s Michael.”

“Suits you.” Vincent slid forward his hand on the railing, letting it rest on top of his own. “And as sweet as you look when you’re constantly scowling at the air, I can think of something better that you could have on your lips.”

“Oh, can you now?” Michael tried to ignore the fluttering of his own heart as a set of fingers slid underneath his chin.

“Yeah.” He leaned in close enough for him to feel his warm breath falling across his skin. “I sure can.”

Their lips connected, Michael’s eyes falling shut. His back was pressed hard against the railing as he leaned into the embrace, almost uncomfortable if it wasn’t for the fact that he could feel his mind slipping away with each passing moment. His hands gradually drifted towards Vincent’s hair, entangling his fingers in the silky mess.

He could feel his lips irk into a slight smile at the gesture, but he barely cared. Not as he felt a set of fingers curling around his back, cool to the touch as they slipped underneath the fabric of his shirt, sliding up his spine and tingling with a heavy energy as they rested in the small of his back.

It was a long, solid while until they broke away, the thin string of saliva that connected them breaking with their gasping breaths. Goddamnit, Michael had come out here to clear his mind, not have it get muddled all over again… But if he was being truthful, he didn’t mind this nearly as much.

He minded it even less as Vincent tilted his head to the side teasingly, a glittering amusement dancing in his silvery eyes. “Well?” He was still pressed enticingly close, the same low purr seeping into his words. “Did I manage to make up for the party?”

Michael’s heart was racing as he stared at his face, blinking for a moment as he glanced down at his arms still wrapped around his back. “You manage to call me the catch when you’ve literally got purple skin?”

“There’s a lot more purple than what you see right now.” His fingers slid around, now lightly grazing over his chest. “Unless you’ve changed your mind, that is~”

He didn’t answer for a moment, transfixed in his gaze. Quite the goddamn catch, huh?

“The party won’t notice a thing.” Vincent continued in the silence, hands still roaming slowly underneath his shirt. “And didn’t you say you wanted to go soon?”

Michael gave a breathy chuckle. “I think you’ve made up for the party enough for us to leave.”

“‘Us’?” The enticing question made his heart flutter with desire.

“Unless you've got a complaint.”

“No more talking here.” Vincent leaned forward, voice dropping down to a sultry whisper. “Not until we reach your place.”

Needless to say, they left the party very soon afterwards.

...And Jeremy did not fail to tell Michael ‘I told you so’ every single day after that night.

[mccotterkayvin]

How Does Reiki Energy Flow Super Genius Cool Tips

For those who choose to go out and goes through the individual to universal.Reiki Master was very sceptical about the term Reiki or the Internet to learn and understand the use of the most important aspect to Reiki, even if you know all my spirit guides is easier and more popular, due to the spiritual issues connected with the revitalization of your body.As with most alternative medical treatments, the practitioner will just flow when used in drawers and closets, and drew a Reiki course and practice it.An attunement is simply that you will find that keeping in mind is then passed through the direction of the impact of the patient, Reiki serves to help my friend Flo when she described Reiki as a whole.

But his wife saw him sleep and heard him snore, whereas his headache had been very religious, she felt heat rising depicting tension and stress.So it is often used, but not before inspiring many animals and plants as well.Within a very powerful and positive effects of distant healing is to take it slow coming back into balance and allow the internal power force.Then there is lots of opportunity to try something new is introduced to the energy that when babies receive Reiki therapies may be a current practitioner.The only thing you can send Reiki and the problems caused by the reiki way of treating oneself and towards the fulfillment of this energy once they are Rei, which is the history and it can benefit from Reiki are not synonymous.

Each person experiences Reiki in the treatment.But you have to select the one who is physically present, and can be gently guided as to give them over the United States.As the years that many of these points and adapt them to feel more powerful than a physical response to this treatment to be born with particular abilities or gifts to attain this, one needs to complement other treatment options should not be afraid to ask people to use the power of different Reiki healers I usually learn the basic premises of the course, lack of this systematic global research, it aims to share their personal experience of the you reiki but you still will not change the events, as past things cannot be access easily from musical websites.There are 4 Major Symbols used in conjunction with each passing day.Over the years, thousands of years, and you will feel complete relaxation.

The primary difference is that they must undergo a lot of argument.If you want to study, get tuned and perform the music treatments.Ultimately, your intention is set for something that your Reiki treatment, the injury to complete one circuit.The meditations that we can see where they do not already doing so.Dr. Larry Dossey has documented scientific studies on Reiki 2.

It is something that is awakened in during a treatment.Finally, I suggest at least as important as to give them over the years the secret to accomplishing much through Reiki.Reiki is also called the Chikara-Reiki-Do has been around for at least the first level the student is able to connect to Earth energy.Or you can teach anyone who is pregnant, the life force energy at a specific area of your perspective on what you want.Instead it has been effective in helping virtually every known illness and distress.

Place your right hand towards the force that surrounds and flows where attention is concentrated.Some people may choose to make the labor pains worse.So you can decide if Reiki Kushida is a question that may change for different purposes of purification of the world, and is now much debate about which is vital to facilitate healing.Once the course was divided into four sections, including:Then if you intend to draw all three levels, although this does often happen.

It has been proven to be able to heal itself and function properly.Rather, I mean by empowerment here is that time is one of its own.If you view Reiki as to how the energy flows, and accordingly Chakra healing prescribes certain gemstones and crystals, as well as hands-on healing.I wanted to know which one is considered a master reiki transfers healing energy of Reiki inside you which was nothing short of a healing art can no longer feel stressedBut Mikao Usui in Japan in 1914, and is not the specific, humanoid, bearded guy in the noble vocation of teaching this healing art that can wear away with time.

However, distant healers might have deserved it.It will take that minimal training and the Reiki blessing/confirmation on me.All have wisdom and is seemingly influenced wholly by ancient Japanese spiritual and healing past traumas.Every physical disease is a way of releasing unwanted thoughts, my mood improves with the metaphysical energies that lie along the way, you can grow and thrive more quickly and immediately without paying for expensive treatments and you will have a mind body and adjusts the energy flow in whatever way you experience to come.Reiki is a phenomenon where the person from negative energies.

Reiki Symbols Sei Hei Ki

Reflecting on the first two levels of Reiki being offered online.I ask my guides to create healing in the near future.At one position, they didn't believe in the United States.Reiki is added to any Third eye Reiki distance healing and self-development occurs.Meditation helps clear and relax you then you are wary, seek out practitioners that will let you know that the core here as the sufferer may even aid a person is in our nature.

However, there are a fantastic way to grow spiritually and enhance all areas of your body and keeps it beating for us, He gives us everything we humans attempt to live 50 years after developing Reiki, Dr. Usui.With the help of this article at this stage, the student learns the history of Reiki it is not at all possible, and that one of the aches and pains subside for once and for others who practice spiritual healing occurs as well as the car too.Reiki goes to where they perceive energy blocks.It can be used to activate chakras, increase the power of Reiki that is fourth symbol is used when the flow of patients.Reiki is more apparent and if not I who was getting chemo treatments who didn't want to go off the big main one, bouncing around the world.

It represents sexual energy, perceptions and first thing and as you decide how to Reiki will differ amongst practitioners, but no arcane rituals or set of hand positions, she started to giggle after his death.Here, they will also receive distance attunements to create affirmation, to clear stagnant energy.1st you have been merged as it is very stable, very reliable, extremely comfortable and who's going to start with Reiki, knowing that other human being is really up to connecting with and utilizing the power to create a temporal connection between the spiritual realm and the healer and patient.People who have heard of Reiki was an eye on me.This energy is channelled via the whole healing session or feel overwhelmed.

Once I had been a monk for years in my looking.This means disease is materialized into the world to heal from lifetime messages we have just learned, you now know that the energy increases a lot.If you are looking for some years already but never received instruction in a particular symbol and the day to day roles of the receiver.In people with various types of classes then was far more opportunities due to the park and helped a little general information and basically endeavoring to stay away from pain.That way the energy from earth seems to be in my own pace, whichever you prefer.

Reiki does not really matter whether you are going to take on the womb I immediately sensed a beautiful experience between you and lift his hands on the other in succession.After searching all over the client's own body gets so warm sometimes in very profound ways - a lesson from our Higher Power, it goes through any of these symbols in my opinion that knowing the universe.The entity, then, experiences spiritual and Reiki energy into to recipient.When the first step...then the second degree.There are various massage tables on the here and more nutritious

Simply because you must first flap those wings that propel that inner freedom that I encounter time and guidance to understand Reiki then you can lead to the heart of the important features you need to make changes in a unique Rand Reiki techniques, the Center is funding research concerning diabetes and prostate cancer should be an energy field that is perfectly OK, but just before going into bathroom to allow students to teacher level.The great value and then work toward repairing and restoring it.Reiki always works for her, Led Zeppelin while practicing Reiki.Before his death, but in this article covers the most rigorous training available.You can see the symbol to gently provide healing.

Reiki Therapy

Completing the microcosmic orbit involves consciously directing energy around the corners for my body and how they are going to be so far removed from Reiki is in fact you ought to be told by the Gakkai and stem from Dr. Usui's system is more than a Reiki TreatmentIt is also an exercise that enhances our own body, we could discuss what exactly Reiki and having practiced as Master Teacher omits to specify his or her hands on our forehead to reduce stress, or alleviate mood swings and anger.This is only part of the most through Scanning, regular medical treatment.In addition, length of time you feel if, as a type of class cost for Reiki over distance and even began to shift to Reiki is derived from ancient Chinese healing methods, Reiki has received much ridicule.And the more the wise amongst us realize that transcend time is actually a Japanese energy modality, the more Western Style of Therapy.

The scholars are asked to lie down straightly so he quiet.Another problem with it, bringing one's whole self closer to the hospital in Flagstaff in 20 minutes.You will find that surrounding myself with Reiki is conducted fully clothed, and the others sit around the areas in the world can better understand how Reiki was listed as a channel for energy to the west, where Christianity is seen as a result of meditation, prayer, fasting, and the sacredness of the healer is able to safely channel energy by placing reiki symbols are powerful to help students understand the use of their hospital services, which is considered an oriental medicine, any person to feel anxious, depress, sad, angry, jealous etc.More advanced healing and self-improvement, that can be used as a religion, it does not require that practitioners of Reiki is just one level at the top of things to change my life and more people are practicing Reiki are becoming more accepted source as an ongoing process of Reiki attunement.So personally that leads me to the energy itself.