#and my characters there really need a facelift

[mesmerblossoms]

Wynda Keelie

Former Pirate. Mercenary. Artillerist and Handywoman.

[an-inky-fingered-lass]

From the very beginning, up until the point we meet her in canon: a character study of Melinda May. A story that clings stubbornly to hope, and considers what it means to be a hero.

PART TWO: The Aftermath of Bahrain.

Coulson turned up at the checkout line with a tiny container of soup and an entire baguette, entirely too cheery about it. An old, somewhat hypocritical argument about nutrient intake still sprung to mind like breathing, but May couldn’t bring herself to start it. Coulson’s sideways glances kept getting more and more pointed. “If there’s anything,” he said later, earnestly, because they’d agreed a long time ago that saying certain things right out and sounding stupid was infinitely preferable to wasting both their time beating around the bush. “I know you have a thing, with being anything other than okay, but I…” “You have a savior complex,” May told him. She shifted the paper bag in her arms and wiped a rain-dampened palm off on her jeans, scowling at him. “Really? We’re doing this right now?” He sighed. “You’re not on your own.” May rolled her eyes. “Clearly.” “I’m here,” Coulson said, because he wasn’t done with the pointed, obvious statements yet, apparently. May didn't answer.

Read more on ao3.

[unlikelyjapan]

s2e1 rewatch notes

I had some wine tonight, but by the grace of God I had the wherewithal to wait a few hours to post my notes:

The forcefulness of Fak telling Carmy "It's a facelift AND a gut" is obviously needling us about how the character development on the show is going to roll, to varying degrees. The fact that Carmy is the one to be dismissive about the statement is foreshadowing I guess?

The same foreshadowing goes with Richie & Carmy - "I've got no purpose" and "you're going to wake up and drop my ass" fears are inverted between them by the end of the season.

Marcus and Sydney have honest heat/tenderness/tension in the first episode as she checks in on his mom - her own mother issues make it super awkward as the interaction closes, but it gives me more understanding as to why Marcus erupted as badly as he did in Ep10 (not like it was excusable, just relatable) - he's in a vulnerable state where her inquiries could definitely feel like overt cues.

Cicero totally looks like he knows what's happening between Carmy and Syd as they bicker during the pitch for more cash - Oliver Platt can play a smart (smug) motherfucker like no other, and I'm weirdly attracted to that.

Cicero was really ready/itching to tell them "the story of complete and utter failure" when Carmy cuts him off with the spontaneous '18-months to pay-out" deal during the same pitch. Knowing the Gonzalez/Bartman story was at the ready in episode 1 - and that, instead, we got Claire'd - is going to haunt my dreams for a while.

Syd asking Tina if she wanted to be her sous felt like the first time she was earnestly asking another woman to have a connection with her, and that earnestness was rewarded threefold *tears*

I love Ebra's consistent tenderness with Marcus so much - I hope they explore that bond more in season 3, as they've always been so gentle together. You can tell Ebra is very invested in Marcus' future, even though it's so divergent from the path he sees for himself at his stage in life.

Syd really needs Carmy to take the lead at the lockers when she says "Uh....what are you going to do?" - she lacks the emotional bandwidth to deal with the ambiguousness of "I have no idea", even though it's such a loaded statement coming from Carmy. He also says "I have no idea" to Claire in the next episode, when she asks "how's your life been, Berzatto?" but, of course, Claire DOES have the bandwidth/game to respond.

The exact lyrics when Sydney walks away from the lockers are talking about "transcendental blues" - I am deceased now.

Furthermore, the fact that the episode (at the point where they've constructed the new 3-month opening plan) is the first time we actually hear the lines from Refused's "New Noise" punctuate an episode with "Can I scream? Good frames won't save bad paintings" - ugh.

Afterthought:

Do you think any of anti-hero character development on the show echoes back to "The Adventures of Augie March" by Saul Bellow? I haven't read it in ages, but it's the most Chicago story ever, and Storer is SO REFERENTIAL about anything literary/cinematic to do with the city that I thought.....maybe kinda.

[deepdarkdelights]

Hello! I just found your blog and read your 10 seconds jungkook series. And OMG that series is just phenomenal. It's just flawless. The emotions, the angst, the character's complex emotions, the plot everything is beautifully written. I read the whole series in one sitting. I am obsessed with it. I really loved your work and just wanted to say your writing is so beautiful it's otherworldly how you created a whole new universe with your words. Keep up the work!!! Thank you.

Hello!

Thank you so much, it is so nice to see 10 series still getting love even after it has been posted for so long now. I am so happy that you appreciated the work that I put into it!

I toy around with the idea of re-writing portions of the series quite frequently. Chapters 1-2 could definitely use some help, Persephone needs a lot of help, and Positive could really use a facelift! I hope once I graduate that is something that I will be able to accomplish. I frequently worry over how much longer my blog will be around since I am so bad at updating.

Anyway, thank you for your support and admiration of the series!

[todaydreambelieversfic]

Welcome to To Daydream Believers : A Community Klaine FanWorks Blog

Hello Everyone!

Welcome and Re-Welcome to To Daydream Believers!!

I know the blog has been around forever, but with the influx of new people I thought I'd refresh the blog and welcome everyone again! I've been wanting to give the blog a facelift for a while, and it seems now is as good a time as any to reintroduce and reinvigorate the blog.

What is TDBFic?

I originally started the blog as the fanfiction reblogging sideblog to my original Glee/Klaine rewatch, fun&games, and podcasting blog - @todaydreambelievers. TDB isn't being run any more, but I've always maintained that as long as there is interest - I'd keep the blog going.

The intention of the blog was to be a safe space where fans of Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson could read works (about them individually or as a couple) without fear of running into bashing of either character. It was also meant to be a community blog where anyone could choose to participate on their own terms.

Becoming a Member -

Whether you're an author who would like a place to showcase their works or just a fan who'd like to recommend their favorite fics, anyone is allowed to be a member. All you need to do is shoot me -- @spaceorphan18 -- a message, and I'll make you a member. All I ask is that you follow (my relatively few) guidelines.

Also - even if you become a member, there's no obligation to reblog content, but the option is always open!

Guidelines -

So what are the guidelines?

All fanworks must be Kurt Hummel friendly and Blaine Anderson friendly. While that doesn't mean bad things can't happen to them - it does mean that a fan of either character can read a work and not feel like their favorite character is being intentionally bashed.

Be respectful of other users.

A couple of smaller items such as - please reblog, don't post and don't spam. Some basic common curtesy things.

That's really it. I'll have some more details on a main page when I get that up. But really, it boils down to play nice.

What about tagging?

You don't have to tag - but it is encouraged so people can find your works if they click on one of our links. I'm working on cleaning up the tagging page so that the tagging system is clear and easy to use.

What about all the old stuff?

It's not going anywhere - though please bear with me as I try to clean up the main page. You should be able to find all of the old content, as I don't plan on taking anything down.

Anything new to the blog?

Why yes! I have some ideas for ways to keep the activity up on the blog...

Author Spotlights -- Every week we would highlight a author or artist - featuring their works on the blog. I'd like to do this again! I'll get more details out soon - but anyone is welcome to participate, even if they've done it already!

Prompts & Tropes -- I'm not sure how I'd like to implement these, but I thought it'd be fun if we occasionally did prompts or trope weeks to inspire you to create new things.

Events -- We haven't been event heavy, but @snarkyhag and I are already thinking of something fun to do for this summer!

Polls -- Okay, so this isn't entirely creation focused, but back in the day, TDB did polls every Tuesday. Now that tumblr has a fun, new polling system, I thought I'd bring these back - because why not?

Questions, Comments, Concerns?

I'm really open to anything you guys might have to say! Please drop a line any time you like -- I'm always happy to hear from you!

I do encourage you to come join and be a member! The more the merrier!

Happy Creating!

Xoxo- Spaceorphan18 :)

[allseeinganalyst]

PLEASE TALK MORE ABOUT GOBUL I LOVE THEM TO PIECES OH MY GOD...

Sure!

I really *like* Goku x Bulma. I think there is a very sweet “childhood friends to lovers” aspect behind them, and Bulma shows a lot of concern and love for him as a friend that I think translates into more quite easily.

To be clear I’m NOT on the Chi-Chi hate train, because I think there are valid af reasons for her acting the way she does because of who she is as a person. There are times when she is annoying, yes, but these are exaggerated and flanderized to stupid levels by “fans” (and also by the show itself from time to time — the Cell Games arc springs to mind).

The thing is, I think because of who Bulma is, these things would just… not be present. Chi-Chi needs Goku to work and her kids to study because that’s the idyllic family life she wants and you do need to work to make money to live, even in the weird, quasi-feudal world of Dragon Ball.

But that problem… doesn’t exist for Bulma. She’s like…Tony Stark. She’s heir and later president of Capsule Corp, she’s the richest woman on the planet. Vegeta doesn’t work or do chores, why would he? So… Goku would be free to live the life he wants AND live it with his lifelong friend. I don’t remember it being mentioned that she’s an incredible cook for him like Chi-Chi, but who cares, she’ll just hire fuckin’ Dragon Ball Gordon Ramsay to cook for him every night. Or she’ll build a robot that can do it. She’s Bulma, she’ll manage.

I also think Goku would be affectionate back to her. First off, he does like spending time with his wife in canon and gets a little sweet with her, so Super’s odd notion that he doesn’t know what kissing is aside, I think we can assume he can be affectionate. Maybe not MASSIVELY so, but he can be.

Secondly moments with that are often undercut with Chi-Chi being angry for comedic reasons. See the Flanderization of her character I mentioned above. And while I do think that’s still going to happen with Bulma—she can whine rant and bitch with the best of ‘em and I love her so much for it — there’s going to be… less of that? To a degree? Goku coming in from training will probably be met with a “GO SHOWER, YOU STINK” but there likely won’t be too much upset about mud or setting a bad example for his son. She’ll watch him go and admire how hot her husband looks.

That brings me to the main reason I like to muse about this pairing — in Dragon Ball, when couples hook up, they have kids. Every major main character couple has done it. So obviously “Gohan” would be born to Bulma.

See, after Bulma, Trunks is my favourite Dragon Ball character. Specifically his future self, but I liked grown up GT Trunks too (in theory)… so thinking about the character that would replace him gets me thinking…

I’m imaging a son (though a Daughter would be cool AF but anyway…) and I like to think they’d be called a play on “Fundoshi” (traditional Japanese Underwear) or “Mawashi” (Sumo Wrestler Underwear) or something that blends the Asian Mythology from Goku with the Underwear theming of Bulma… or we could just call him “Singlet” or hell… maybe he’s just “Trunks”— I think it’s obvious Bulma isn’t that interested in letting her husbands name their kids (see Super with Bulla/Bra).

And he fundamentally changes just about every part of DBZ and Super when you think about it. Namek especially. But all of it. And you gotta think while the kid WILL have a study program it’s gonna be so different to Chi-Chi’s “HIT THE BOOKS” approach, and Bulma would for sure be like:

“Huh? What? Yeah sure sweetie, go train with Dad. Mom needs to finish fixing this perpetual energy generator. Here, actually, take the radar and tell Dad he needs to bring me the Dragon Balls! Call it a boys day out! Father-Son bonding!… Mamma needs a facelift anyway…”

It’s that. That gets me. That question: “What would be different about this series of Bulma and Goku had a kid instead of Gohan existing?”

I’ll spare you my thoughts on that but basically I think Bulma and Goku would make not just a cute, but very interesting couple narratively.

[kitsunerokko]

"When destruction came for our lonesome island, the Turaga knew it would be time for a new group of heroes to arrive. They would be our protectors, our champions... our Toa. But surely something must be afoot. Those chosen by the stones surely cannot be Dosa Nui's heroes! They had, and continue to have, many... problems, that don't inspire confidence in the Turaga, or myself. Their forms even seem as if the Great Spirit saw our image of the ideal Toa and twisted them. They are not the heroes we wanted, but they are the heroes we've got. And so I must, I must believe in them. Or we are all lost." -Chrouhi the Chronicler

So in the past two days I decided to give my OC Toa team a bit of a facelift, reflecting more of what I've learned of using stud.io since my older renders of the team!

Background Image in the Group Photo is edited from a Creative Commons photo by Horia Varlan.

And for individual character blurbs (written from the perspective of the Chronicler character, and so adescribe them before their character development), can be found after the jump!

"Takara is the team's Toa of Fire. His Toa Tools are the Grand Firestaff and the Flare Buster. As I've chronicled many, many, MANY times, he's long been something of a troublemaker, with pranks, ill-thought-out plans, and plenty of disruption. Including intruding on the duties of yours truly. He initially was considered the leader, until his boneheadedness led to disasterous results and lost him the team's respect. Being a Toa has not changed him one bit, much to my dismay."

"Kaumi is the team's Toa of Water. Her Toa Tools are the Mariner's Boneblade and the Zamor Soaker. She is very headstrong and stubborn, never giving up until she gets her way, no matter whom she may anger. Despite her butting heads with, well, anyone, she has at least proven she has a good heart. I've lost count of how many times she was the head of positive social change in our island's history. No doubt this is why she is leader of the Toa Dosa now."

"Okolu is the team's Toa of Ice. His Toa Tools are the Ice Axe, Zamor Snowshot, and, bizarrely, the Hot-Plasma Launcher. He's... eccentric, is the nicest way to put it. He's got lots of positive energy for sure, but seems to have absolutely no filter and other people always seem to be bothered by him. It's actually kind of sad... especially since he's the source of the current singular friendship among the Toa. Granted, this friendship is with Takara so who knows where that influence will end up. Hopefully Okolu's version of 'annoying' wins, personally."

"Kraani is the Team's Toa of Air. His Toa Tools are the Exoskel Shield and the Airblaster. I've heard complaint after complaint about this guy and his snooty, better-than-everyone-else attitude as a Matoran. And much like the others, no change seen so far as a Toa. While he claims to be more effective and smarter than the rest of the team, he has displayed no such standout prowess, though he blames this on his teammates. A Toa really needs to understand the value of teamwork or the team.. will not work."

"Opuro is the Team's Toa of Stone. His Toa Tools are the Twin Dirk and the Chain Ripper. Opuro is extremely competitive and I've written many incident reports where he took things very far when playing sports, doing tasks... if there's a measurable way to outperform someone at something, he'll do it. Sort of like, if Kraani could actually back up his ego. That's Opuro, though at least Opuro is nicer, somewhat. He seems to at least want others to 'get as good' as him, relishing worthy challenges. As such, after becoming Toa he has been very excited, perhaps even too excited, to fight. We'll see if he can last like that..."

"Leonu is the Team's Toa of Earth...? I think. I've never actually seen him use his elemental powers, and apparently no one else has either. Kaumi thinks he might be of another element entirely, and I may be inclined to believe that. I actually don't have much on him compared to the others, he's almost never come up in any news or events I've covered. And interviewing various Matoran around Dosa Nui doesn't yield much either. He's just, very quiet, very keeps to himself, to the degree people just don't know much about him. Anyway, his Toa Tools... the Inika Staff and the Laser Drill."

[lightofraye]

So as everyone knows Elta weasled her way into the Wales comic con. That has me questioning what was the con promoter/booker thinking?! I think Misha was originally supposed to go but backed out. So they got Elta to fill that spot. Which out of the 2 I would have preferred Misha. Cause we all know Elta is going to go for the cringe PDA kiss like she did at the con she went with him to last year. She has no reason to actually be there her character was useless. It brought nothing to the plot taking her character out changes nothing. She has nothing to contribute since she was in only 5 episodes. Also despite what she says when she claimed she knew all of Cas’s lines we all know that is a lie. Why is it a lie? Cause Jensen exposed her saying she basically only watched 5 episodes which knowing her it was the episodes she was in. Elta was in Supernatural for 2 reasons first reason she didn’t want to be a liar. Fans had asked her when was she showing up in Supernatural. She replied on Twitter if Supernatural made it to season 13 she would appear. Her character shows up Sesason 13 episode 13. Also her saying if it made it shows she had no faith in the show or her husband. The main reason she was on there is cause Gen was on there in season 4 and people talk about how she fell in love with Jared. We all know Elta tries to one up Gen every time. So she begged Jensen to get her on there. I still think someone hated her cause her character Anael take out the e it’s Anal which she can be at times. I just know Jensen’s joy will not be there. We won’t see that eye crinkling beautiful true smile of his we will see the fake one he gives when he is not feeling it.

I know I am rambling I am sorry just miffed she weasel her way into a con. But what I find hilarious is the pics they used to advertise her looks like two different people. One is her as Anael the main pic is from her early days before all the fillers and Botox. I believe it’s from her OTH days. But it looks like 2 different people there. Her “fans” want to say oh she is just getting older she didn’t have work done. Uh yeah she did have work done. If you get a picture of Danneel from OTH to now you can literally see she has work done cause she looks unrecognizable. If Jensen wasn’t with her people wouldn’t know who she is. Can’t wait to see what new face, horrible clothing choice and messy hair style she has then.

Hi anon!

Also another apology to be issued for the lateness. Life, y'know? But thanks for the message!

Now to respond/address what you've said.

I don't know if Misha was supposed to go, as I had never seen anything about him going to Wales. But it's possible. Or Elta insisted on having her own little European vacation after seeing Jared and Genevieve having fun.

That's the hard choice--which one do we want, Misha or Elta? Can neither be the answer??

God, that PDA kiss at last year was AWFUL. Cold fish kiss. Zero love, passion or chemistry.

Yeah. Anael/Sister Jo had zero reason to be in the plot. And the writers had to have known what they were doing by making Anael a materialistic bitch.

Yeah. Elta basically forced Jensen to get her added to Supernatural because she wanted to be involved, and used the Destiel fandom to harass and abuse her husband as well. She wanted the attention and loved how uncomfortable it was making Jensen. It's also why she kissed Misha's ass and gave him a lap dance.

Yes… Jensen will be miserable in Wales. I'm not looking forward to his sad smiles.

It's okay to ramble! I do it all the time! That's why my blog is titled "Ramblings of a Writer". I ramble!

Yes! No recent photos of her for them to use? Really? So they use unrecognizable ones? Haha!

Yep. She absolutely had work done, numerous times. Her hairline moving north means numerous facelifts. Her smile--called the Joker smile for a reason--shows other work having been done as she looks horrific.

She needs to lay off black. Black emphasizes nothing good on her. She needs color. She needs an actual stylist because if Marcus is responsible for past choices, he's an awful one. Get a vocal coach because her voice is just AWFUL.

And then, y'know, therapy to fix her narcissistic soul. If that even works.

I feel you, anon. I'm not looking forward to her being there at all.

I only hope Jensen will be okay.

[lordgortrasha]

// Some quick blog housekeeping and a rules update:

I'm thinking I might move NSFT activity from my sideblog (which is still empty) back over to the mainblog. A sideblog makes more sense when there's more visual content involved, and I did snag an excellent URL. But with as niche a fandom as Gortash has, there's just no graphic NSFT content to post, so there's no real need to separate it out. If anyone has any input on this, I'd be curious to hear it.

And, for the rules update, I wanted to make a clarification regarding my use of mods:

I use the Gortash Facelift mod from Nexus Mods for what graphics will be present on this blog, which will also be tagged #we are but servants to our lords ( my gifs ) for those who don't wish to see them. Please note that my use of a mod doesn't mean I dislike vanilla Gortash—the mod is just something I tried and I ended up liking it. No version adequately captures how I prefer to render him in the mind's eye, so I don't use icons, and his appearance really isn't a significant aspect of my portrayal, so you're free to picture him however you wish.

I'll be changing my header today. I don't really care to engage with vagueposting and gossip culture, however, I do recognize that mods to canon characters can be genuinely jarring to those who aren't used to them, and I don't want that to be real barrier to interaction for anyone. I really want my portrayal to be about my writing—not the way Gortash looks in the graphics on my blog.

[wevelocityteampresents-blog]

SEPTEMBER 12th

Today was my birthday. I would have gone out somewhere to eat if it weren't for the terribly polluted air. It was rotten a year ago, but things have only gotten worse. (No thanks to those wildfires earlier in July.) I'm sick of this unbreathable air, and the only birthday present I really want is for the air to become clean again.

I was finally able to redesign certain characters. The new designs are far from finished. So you'll have to wait to see which characters got the facelift they needed.

While playing Pokémon Violet, I battled against a few people online and tried to earn marks for some of my newer Pokémon.

If he's that big, why didn't you give him a Jumbo Mark?

After I failed to give my Pokémon any marks, I went to the Pokémon Center to see Nurse Joy congratulate me on my birthday.

The banner was a nice touch.

After studying for a bit, I returned to Pokémon Violet to catch a Pokémon with a Destiny Mark. There were a lot of great candidates. But I eventually chose a Tinkatink.

She's not shiny. But she's good enough for me.

SEPTEMBER 13th

Aside from all the gifts I received yesterday, one of my later ones was a ticket to Kitakami.

Later in the afternoon, I first went to Pokémon HOME to update Umbre's moveset after I heard that Umbreon was able to learn Toxic again. Thankfully, Umbre already knew that move, so I helped him remember it.

Now he can actually stand a chance against Paldea's worst.

I got caught up in battling others with my newly improved Pokémon. It wasn't until after my second match that I remembered to dash off to Uva Academy.

I wouldn't say it was THAT soon. I've only been in this country for half a year.

Jacq tells me that going to Kitakami will allow me to see new Pokémon (who aren't that new as I've already seen them all before) and that I should have fun with it. Another thing he told me was that he already got my mom's permission to come along.

How they never told me about this, I have no idea.

Also, Blueberry Academy has roots in Unova.

There's also a lot of Unova Pokémon in Kitakami too. If that's not a hint at remakes for Black and White, I don't know what is.

Briar presents herself as the descendant of the Violet Book author and shares the completed versions of the pages we saw in Professor Turo's research facilities, proving that my hypothesis was correct.

Sadly, we won't get to see Terapogos for another few months.

Before I knew it, I was finally in Kitakami County.

And I've already made some progress on the new Pokédex. (I'll fill it up some more later.)

Not all was well in this country, as this one girl didn't want me on her turf.

Naturally, I taught her a lesson through a Pokémon battle. (While also learning that, yes, Poltchageist is part-Grass.)

Like every other rival, she acted like a sore loser.

But then again, I was the one who had 5 Pokémon that were at a higher level than hers.

Sometime after I was settled in at the community center, I was given my first assignment while learning abroad.

I wanted to get to the first one. But I was too busy exploring the town for treasure.

This might be the most unenthusiastic Joy I've ever seen. She's like one of those people who act poorly while on the job because they're stuck with it and have nowhere better to look for a paycheck. Which would be reasonable if this weren't a Pokémon Center.

At least she has the courtesy to stay off her cell phone while operating the machine. Speaking of which...

Why didn't they have a feature like this from the beginning? The TM Machine also had new TMs available for creation. But I didn't need them at the moment.

I eventually met this woman named Perrin.

I was going to wonder why someone like her has a Hisuian Growlithe. But considering everyone else fights with Ursaluna and Hisuian Arcanine, I'm just going to forget it and move on.

I'm more careful in real life.

A goal I'm sure will probably take months to complete. (If I didn't have any of those Pokémon in other games.)

SEPTEMBER 15th

I was worried about my performance in school. But my friends told me I was doing a great job and I needed to calm down. I didn't have any school today, which meant I could focus on celebrating the 5th anniversary of Pokémon Pocket Web Comics before getting some sleep.

The air was getting a bit chilly today. It was the perfect sign fall was right around the corner. In a few days, all of my current problems will be no more. (For a while, anyway.)

In Pokémon Violet, I finally made my way to the first signboard. Surprisingly, despite only taking me two days to reach, Kieran didn't beat me to it.

It's almost as if it could be a Pokémon.

It's too bad I didn't get a badge for this photo. This screen feels incomplete without one.

I'm hoping that Miraidon will learn a new technique soon. Also, I haven't heard Pokémon be referred to as Kaiju since the first games were still in development.

[cherokeegal1975]

Free Audiobook on Youtube with a private feedback comment included.

I know this is a repost, but bear with me. There is a reason for it. I'm making sure you know what this comment is about. These next paragraphs between the quotes are not my words. They were written to me in a kind of letter attached to the first chapter of my book. Noonibean was doing me a solid just because she wanted to. She quit after the fifth chapter. Still grateful years later anyway.

This is purely a copy paste, I changed nothing:

"Please forgive me; I started off using Microsoft track changes, but it was taking me FOREVER and I was also afraid all the notes and splices might confuse you. So I went ahead and just gave everything a facelift and kept it in black. Next time, I will write my changes in a different color.

Okay, so first of all, I really think you have something great here, and I’m not just blowing smoke. I love the world you have built, and I am already very intrigued by the storyline. You captured Johnny’s relationship with Little Girl beautifully, and the same goes for Goldie. You can tell they all care about each other deeply. Is it weird that Johnny kind of reminds me of Aladdin? Lol, I think it’s the desert vibe and the growing up with thieves thing.

I love that you started the story with a strong action hook, but since you backtrack from there, I’m wondering if you can find a clear and concise way to transition into the past. Even if it’s a sentence or two about his mind going back into the past as he runs. (He doesn’t actually reach the rocks/resting place in this chapter, right? I just assumed he was running this whole time.)

You paint the pictures and scenes wonderfully, and I can imagine all of it as I read – just be careful not to add too much where explanation isn’t necessary. I noticed you have a tendency to over-explain certain things about the characters or the situation. We don’t always need to know the “why.” Try to keep it clean and concise so as not to slow down the narrative. This first chapter is extremely tough too, because it is practically all narrative and there is very little dialogue. Just because you know certain things about the characters doesn’t mean your audience needs to know them. Let them figure a few things out for themselves. Remember to give your readers the credit they deserve. They are smarter than you think, and not everything has to be explained to them, especially when you “show” rather than “tell.” All the rest is just fluff. For example, because you’re a good writer, I already assumed LG could see well in the dark, and I knew how much Johnny cared about her.

Basically, I went in and corrected some grammar, and trimmed the “fat” to make everything read tighter without affecting the real meat of the story. For example, instead of three paragraphs about Johnny’s sand ship, we really only need one-and-a-half. The narrative I cut out can easily be peppered in throughout the rest of the book if absolutely necessary, so let me know if there was something I took out that was crucial. I don’t think I did, though.

Regarding the action scenes, remember that tight, short sentences convey the sense of urgency best. Longer sentences slow the action down, so I shortened the cliff jumping scene as well as the fight scene. Another thing I did was re-arrange sentences to make them flow more naturally, and remove “filler” adjectives along with invisible words like “that” and “of.”

I tried to deepen Johnny’s point of view. For example, since we are in his POV, you wouldn’t need to say: “He knew there was a way to drive down from up there.” You would simply put: “There was a way to drive down from up there.” Since we are in his mind, he already knows it. Know what I mean?

Lastly, words like “was” and “to be” tend to make a story read more passively, so I like to use them sparingly. If I can think of a different way to word the sentence without using those passive words, I will do that instead. Example of a passive sentence (which we don’t want): “He was tired and hungry.” Same thing, but active instead: “Wariness overcame him, and his stomach growled with hunger pangs.”

Also, is it Prince Richard or King Richard? I was hella confused, lol. It’s king in the beginning, and then Prince after that. I would choose one and stick with it or explain why he is now being called Prince.

I really hope some of this made sense. I tend to ramble. Let me know what you think about the edits I made. I am really looking forward to reading more!"

This is a comment from a lovely lady that goes by Noonibean on DeviantART. I am respecting her privacy by not posting her real name. I did follow her advice in my manuscript and on my posts for this book on DeviantART (I'm CherokeeGal1975 there too), but the fixes do not appear in the actual novel because I'm doing a hands off policy until I can get some more help from a professional editor. But I thought I'd share this since she did have some very positive things to say about my book.

I can't fix the audiobook, that will have to come much later. I think I'd rather hire someone to be my reader once I have all the work done I need to do. Not sure when that will be, but I set it as a life goal...or to put it another way, it's on my bucket list.

I'd love to read what you think as well.

P.S. - Noonibean did the cover art for my Kindle version of Unexpected Cargo. I would've used it for my paperback version of it, but for some reason Amazon wouldn't let me. So I just keep that cover art as a treasured file.

[libraryinthecountry]

★ Where are you from? Have you read any books set in that area? I grew up in a tiny town in the Sierra foothills of Northern California and knew I needed to read @kfbreene’s Magical Midlife Madness when I saw it’s about a character who moves to be a caretaker of an old house in the Sierra foothills as well. I love reading books set in the area! Magical Midlife Madness is the first book in KF Breene’s Leveling Up series, and just got a cover facelift, too! I had to feature the new cover (bottom) and collector’s edition (top) KF sent my way because they’re both so pretty. 😍 I am looking forward to listening to this one on audio and I am fully expecting a hilarious and fun paranormal romp! Description: A woman starting over. A new house with an unexpected twist. A cape wearing butler acting as the world's worst life coach.

"Happily Ever After" wasn't supposed to come with a do-over option. But when my husband of twenty years packs up and heads for greener pastures and my son leaves for college, that's exactly what my life becomes.

Do-over.

This time, though, I plan to do things differently. Age is just a number, after all, and at forty I'm ready to carve my own path.

Eager for a fresh start, I make a somewhat unorthodox decision and move to a tiny town in the Sierra foothills. I'll be taking care of a centuries old house that called to me when I was a kid. It's just temporary, I tell myself. It'll just be for a while.

That is, until I learn what the house really is, something I never could've imagined.

Thankfully forty isn't too old to start an adventure, because that's exactly what I do. A very dangerous adventure that will change my life forever. I have a chance to start again, and this time, I make the rules. Thank you to @kfbreene for sending me a copy of the book. ★ HASHTAGS //⠀ #bookstagram #fantasybooks #coverlove #prettybooks #totalbooknerd #flatlayfriday #bookaesthetic #becauseofreading #bookish #paranormalromance #bücherliebe #MagicalMidlifeMadnessTour #MagicalMidlifeMadness #LevelingUpseries  #MagicalMidlifeMagictour #MagicalMidlifeMagic #KFBreene #storygramtours — view on Instagram https://ift.tt/3F8xsvP

[katlangomez]

TRAP LABS: ART DIRECTION

Trap Labs is a 2D platform game based off Bound. This started as a 2 person project between Han who is the main programmer and proprietor of the game and myself as the Creative Director and artist, He wanted to create a game with an art style tribute to Butch Hartman's Fairly Odd parents. With my history of work in animation and game development, having a flexible art style and adaptability was a big advantage. I'd had senior game art positions where I supervised art style and work flow in Tose Software but this was the first time I'd be creating a game from scratch. There was a big facelift with the project in general as initial Alphas of the game had art created by a different approach. We wanted to optimize the game art so that we could have a lot of reuseable assets with the least volume. Initially we had a Adobe Illustrator exported to Adobe Animate workflow to have the correct stylization down.

I created the Character Designs, Brand Identity, and the Color scheming for the levels. As well as ideas for props, UI, and other things on top of animating the assets myself. One of the biggest importances to me in terms of art has color theory come into play. With each succeeding level as you go up the tower you're met with different color changes per cluster of the levels. I took inspiration from many popular cartoons as a reference to the color shifts. But what's important is that they were color blocked cohesively.

UI Design and Illustration was important to emulate the fun cartoony style of the game based of Butch Hartman's series. But it also needed to be optimized for viewing on both computer screens and mobile gaming as this is a cross-platform accessible game as well. We wanted to make sure the design was responsive and translated well on different screen sizes.

A really big note with took of is the aesthetic of Asymmetry particular to Fairly Odd Parents and Butch Hartmen's art style that we wanted to translate for our own game. The tile sets and different elements we created in particular we wanted to get the maximum use out of so we wouldn't get rigid repetitive tile sets. And when you rotate them they become different patterns.

[probablygayattorneys]

Did you get to play Another Code for Switch yet? If so, how is it? I only played the DS version and have to wait a bit before I can get the Switch version

My fiancé got it for me for Christmas but I haven’t played it yet. At the moment I’m currently replaying Trace Memory and then once I’m finished with that I’m planning on playing either Ghost Trick or replaying Hotel Dusk before I play the remake, just so it’s sort of fresh in my mind but not completely so I don’t get super annoyed at everything they changed.

That said, @vaptainhammer did play the demo they released and here’s what he had to say:

Let’s see.

Gameplay wise, it’s definitely different than the DS version. The puzzles are different, and it’s worth noting that some of then WILL require joy-cons, a Switch pro controller, or something with gyro controls. Because like the first puzzle in the game requires gyro controls. That’s the only one I recall needing it for in the demo, but there could definitely be more. There are definitely differences in the script too. So it’s not a straight 1:1 remake.

The graphics are pleasant. They’re not mindblowing or anything, but they’re a major facelift from DS graphics, and I think the character models look really good.

I do feel like Ashley’s movement is a little too sluggish, even when running, but it’s not a dealbreaker. Same with the camera movement. It feels too stiff. Even adjusting it to the highest setting felt slow to me. But again, not a dealbreaker for a game that isn’t about action or anything.

Overall, it left me excited to start the full game and compare it to the original. Having only one control method for that first puzzle and just the overall speed of the game were my only real complaints!

[galacticexevt]

OC Prompt/Ask

Hello! I am terribly sorry for my absence on this account- and in general with Vtubing activities. I got busy with a few IRL things, and then in the middle of that I got promoted to President of my Uni's creative writing club!! While I am very happy with my new position (honestly a little shocked too cause HNNGGG leadership!!!!) I have been a little swamped with club duties, but thankfully it is NANOWRIMO and I have some time to write for myself for once! I have been working on some more character development stuff and found this prompt that I really liked and decided to give it a go! The prompt for this one is: Write a short note from one OC to another.

Hey, old man! You're probably wonderin' where I am. I know ya told me to take my ass to bed and to stop obsessing over that drop ship you specifically told me to stay the fuck away from...well, I did the exact opposite! Obviously, you wouldn't be readin' this if I was home. Anyway! I know you are probably hella pissed off right now, and that nerve on the side of ya head is doin' that weird pulsing thing- but hear me out!

I did some more investigating on the contents of the shipment by hacking into Maelstrom's trading route servers and get this! This shipment has the power cells we have been after for nearly half a sun cycle! If we get our hands on a few of these, we can take them back to the shop, and yours truly can break down how they work, and we can start manufacturing our own! We could start mass-producing these- hell, we can even make them more powerful! Think about it! We could make bank off of these babies and give the shop a much-needed facelift- but I get a 75% cut since I'm the one doing the science. 

I haven't even gotten to the best part yet! Strap yourself in!!

With these specific power cells, the energy inside them is strong enough to power Maelstrom equipment and vehicles for nearly three weeks! These could be the key to gettin' your old craft back into the stars again!! You can take me to those other planets you talked about! And I can finally hit up Earth! We can get away from this washed-up Colony and start living our lives!!

Uhm-anyways...by the time you finish readin' this will be around the same time I realize I am outnumbered, and my only resort is to use these explosives I grabbed on my way out. Sooooo, if you don't want me to use untested, highly volatile explosives around the district, you should tag along and help a brotha' out. 

You know where to find me! See you soon, old man~!

-Galactic

"Fuck...I taught that kid too much...here we go. Again..."

[skullmoss]

being back on tumblr means im back on my rambling blogging bullshit but my main issue with pokemon's transition from 2D sprites to 3D remains the fact that the 3D games have no artistry to them.

the sprites had more life and character, and the newer 3D characters and pokemon look so boring and cookie cutter, like it's molded from play-doh.

legends arceus really cemented how i believe the pokemon main game series as a whole would benefit from a design overhaul; maybe taking inspiration from a game like okami where you can get away with more limited animation thanks to a dynamic style that blends 3D with 2D.

not saying that style of 3D animation and rigging for a video game is easier, but it would give the series the actual necessary facelift it so desperately needs ever since it moved from the 3DS to the Switch.