#and must still be sometimes
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
the moment Mike's world got drenched in grey :(
#i love you mike ross#sometimes i get annoyed with him#and then i remember#how hes always trying his best#and trying to do right by his morals#and have his word mean something#fight for the right things#to the point he even stood up to harvey#and risked losing his job!!!!#because he believes he can do right!#and should!#and i remember the book case#and father walker#and how lonely his life mustve been#and must still be sometimes#and i am sorry i got so annoyed#pookie i forgot#for a moment#mike ross#suits#suits tv#suits usa#tie txt
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
i've said it before but it will forever and always make me insane that jacob's ending is to join the cullens for the sake of bella not having to give anything up. they find out jake will be immortal & tied to renesmee forever, so bella gets to smile & say "my family is finally complete! ^-^" but jake already HAS a family. he has a father and 2 sisters. quil, embry, seth and sam are like his brothers. jacob and leah were planning to run away together. he's always been welcome in emily's home, sue has been a family friend since before his birth. bella abandons her mortality by choice because she feels no connection to the people around her, but jacob has really strong bonds. it's clear that every character we meet in la push is like family to him, he's an active member of the community. jake would've graduated high school and been a mechanic, would've grown into a young man. a good friend, a fun uncle, a present son. he's set up to have such a rich life. and he's just magically compelled to give that up. beyond his control, he loses sight of everything, because his high school crush's baby is now the singular most important thing to him. he's perpetually 18 with his perpetually 18 year old girlfriend, running around vancouver or alaska or wherever with the girl who friendzoned him at 16 & her in-laws (who were antagonistic to him for months). and i'm just supposed to say omg yay now he doesn't have to let go of bella! everyone is happy! it's complete madness
#like even putting aside the utter insanity of him imprinting on a newborn (WHICH IS HARD TO PUT ASIDE) it is still CRAZY#like bella was never gonna do anything but be a vampire. from the moment she meets them the only ending for her is to join the cullens.#throughout the series the only thing we see tying bella to humanity is jacob. that's the conflict for her. thats what she must forfeit.#ofc there's charlie but SHE makes the decision that giving that relationship up is worth it to her#bella was never going to do anything else but jake WAS. jake HAD a whole life ahead of him that was taken from him#HE HAS NO CHOICE. HE'S JUST COMPELLED TO DO IT#ugh. jacob can be the Worst sometimes but ultimately he's a victim of the narrative fr#being kinda shitty & unable to get over a girl at 16 shouldn't condemn u to giving up literally every other relationship in ur life#also the phrasing of 'the girl who friendzoned him' in this post makes it sound like i think bella is wrong for that & to be clear i don't#i just mean to emphasize like. how young they are & how trivial their relationship drama would seem to them years down the line#jacob black#twilight#the twilight saga#twilight blog#bella swan#jacob twilight#quil ateara#seth clearwater#leah clearwater#embry call#sam uley#stephanie meyer#smeyer#new moon#eclipse#breaking dawn#twilight critical#mine#jake
864 notes
·
View notes
Text
May your hardened heart be woken By the soft and distant song Of all you left here unspoken All the shards we keep stepping on - Take this body home Take this body home Call the wind, and let her know Take this life outgrown Take this broken soul Call the stars, call them all And take it high, take it far, take it home
#svsss#luo binghe#shen qingqiu#bingqiu#sqq#lbh#scum villain#heard the song Take This Body Home by Rose Betts and it nearly took me out at the knees#it really really suits sqq's self-detonation in hua yue city right? i'm not the only one feeling this?#considered adding some literal shards for them to be stepping on - since sqq's sword explodes - but i couldn't quite make it work#anyway this has been playing like a music video in my head for the past couple days highly recommend listening to the song#if you haven't heard it before#can't get over the absolute dissonance between how sqq views this scene and how everyone else must feel about it#like to him he's just completing his plan - hopefully keeping lbh from destroying a city with energy imbalance and escaping The Plot#nbd! he and sqh have planned it all out it's FINE :) off he goes!#meanwhile everyone who loves him - including lbh who worked years to get back to him and is trying to work through a lot of grief#and resentment and doubt and longing and... - watches him DIE in FRONT OF THEM#just collapse while coughing up blood sword disintegrating energy completely consumed#like holy hell sqq could you traumatize the people around you any more???#no wonder lbh went a little bit crazy after that like my man was already not in a great place but what the fuck#lbh watches his shizun presumably sacrifice himself for him ONCE AGAIN like after he's finally Gotten Strong his shizun is STILL#coming to harm in an effort to make up for his shortcomings#my art#most of the time out here drawing what amounts to muppets and then sometimes i get the urge for this and just need to cover everyone in blo
479 notes
·
View notes
Text
"You are the bane of my existence… and the object of all my desires"
-----
My favourite part of the Tresspasser epilogue is when Inquisitor and Dorian ran away and got married and no one ever went back to Tevinter :)
#Pavellan#dorian pavus#dragon age#dragon age inquisition#dai#daee lavellan#im still malding yes.#'sometimes the inquisitor is spotted in minrathous' bioware must be tweaking if they think an elf is going to tevinter#my art
536 notes
·
View notes
Text
game of deduction
#my art#victorian husbands#john watson#sherlock holmes#sherlock holmes fanart#acd canon#acd holmes#acd watson#still haven't decide what hair do i want to draw holmes with buuuut#i am kind of leaning towards this one? maybe? idk#drawing really short hair is just a nightmare for me lol#i already died three times drawing watson's hair because. too short#(but i want to give justice to sherlock's receding hairline at the same time nggh the strongest battles why must i suffer like that)#[sometimes i hope no one reads tags on my art posts]#i suppose this shade of blue tie wouldn't be the most usual for daywear back then? but i couldn't resist for it to match his eyes#hooray first solid drawing for a *long* timeee
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
the pevensies never getting to stay in narnia as long as they did that first time makes me crazyyyy like they had years. YEARS. and then they lost it and they got to go back but it was for a matter of days. days. just long enough to remember the things you lost. to find pieces of yourself again. and then they had to go, and peter and susan never got to go back. at least edmund and lucy were there for weeks aboard the dawn treader, even if it wasn't in narnia itself. probably it was more cruel than anything that susan and peter went back for hardly any time at all.
#narnia#sometimes i wonder how it must have felt to be peter and susan hearing how your siblings got to go back to narnia#like you thought would happen. like they hoped. but that they got to stay longer. got to see more.#they went back and this time people they knew were still there. still alive.#you got days steeped in grief and exile
175 notes
·
View notes
Text
Here's a little double the trauma for the price of one story for you folks.
So basically Danny got captured by the GIW and was experimented on / tortured until he died and was reincarnated as Danyal Al Ghul. He attempts to adapt to his grandfather's teachings but just can't get behind them unlike his older brother. This culminates in Danny getting caught trying to help an injured animal.
When he refuses to kill it, Ra's decides he's had enough and strikes Danny down then and there. Damian, who was watching all of this go down, disobeys his grandfather for the first time and attempts to resurrect Danny using the Lazarus pits. But Danny's body sinks to the bottom and doesn't return. This devastates Damian and Talia when she gets back.
Meanwhile Danny opens his eyes to find himself in the one place he never wanted to be again, the GIW research facility. The Lazarus pits had responded to the traces of ectoplasm within his body and opened up a portal back to his home dimension. All across the spider verse style you could say. Anyways Danny spends the next decade being experimented on while Damian spends it pretty close to canon albeit with a little more resentment towards Ra's and a little more grief towards the batfam (he feels like he's somehow replacing his little brother by hanging out with them).
Eventually a prison break happens within the GIW facility. Whether because they captured a powerful ghost like Pandora or something or because Clockwork did something, it doesn't matter. What matters is that Danny takes advantage of the chaos to go back through the very portal he got spit out of all those years ago.
Imagine the league's surprise when their youngest heir suddenly comes crawling out of the pits without looking even a day older than when he was first thrown in. The reason for this is because the scientists at the facility thought that Danny was growing in order to simulate being human and gain sympathy. He was always severely punished for this until the remaining ghost part of him eventually adapted to stop his human half from growing. He's now pretty much stuck at the age of 5 or so. Don't worry as he eventually heals from his trauma, he'll start growing again.
Anyways the league, especially Talia is trying to keep it on the downlow that Danny is back. She knows that if Damian finds out, he'll immediately come and try to take back his little brother. Unfortunately for them, they were a little too quiet and Damian gets hella suspicious. So he goes on a solo mission to see what they're up to. He sneaks into Nanda Parbat in the middle of the night and finds a sleeping boy in his baby brother's old room. At first Damian thinks that the league cloned his brother. But when Danny wakes up and stares at him with those big blue eyes he just knows.
So Damian takes Danny with him back home where the batfam is absolutely baffled about where he got this kid from. They're also flabbergasted when Damian speaks to the boy in soft Arabic and has the most gentle and loving expression on his face. This can't be the same demon brat right?
#dp x dc#dc x dp#dpxdc#dcxdp#winter's tales#despite mentally being in his 30s or something at this point#danny still very much acts like a kid#at this point a good portion of his memories include being strapped down to a table#so now that he's allowed freedom again#there's a lot of things he must relearn#also he's still in the body of a child#and children can be very emotional because emotions are confusing#or sometimes it's the only real method of communication they have at their disposal#for younger children at least
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
something so monstrous pt.2
(in which kas feeds from steve and triggers a bad migraine pt.2)
🤍🌷 read part 1 here this part gets really intense on the migraine. descriptions of immense pain, fever dreams, and vomiting, some body horror imagery bc pain can be fun like that
Time and space lose all meaning as Steve remains on the precipice of something that is too violent to be called sleep, but not harsh enough yet to be unconsciousness. Real sensations evade him as everything turns into pain immediately. Even the twitch of his finger becomes a thundering blaze of blinding pain shooting through his body and settling behind his eye until he is sure he will wake up blind.
The fear of that is everpresent, the blind spots too real to ignore every time it goes like this, and he imagines how they will grow. He imagines how they get worse every time until one day the pain inside his skull will be so immense it will take his eyesight in exchange for alleviation.
And even though it is unbearable, he opens his eyes whenever he can, just to make sure he can see still. It’s an added veil of terror that covers him whole and consumes him slowly but continually.
At some point he notices something cold and wet being placed over his eyes, adding another layer of darkness that is welcome, even if it leaves an imprint of pressure and sensation on his forehead that makes his skin tear around it, his skull cracking and caving in beneath the touch.
And still it helps a little, pulling him further toward consciousness but not further toward the pain itself. But Steve can only whimper weakly in response, six feet under a thick cloud of cotton-filled smog that even turns breathing into a chore, polluting his lungs with fear and horror and agony without compare.
He does fall into a fitful sleep at some point, grateful for the short reprieve, but it does nothing to alleviate his exhaustion.
It feels like his eyeballs are being pushed into his skull for what must be hours upon hours, and the pain is so unbearable, so horrible, that he's not at all surprised when nausea rises in his chest, his body responding to its current state with confusion and a hard-reset.
Steve keens, trying to roll onto his side, groaning at the flares of pain shooting up into his skull and down into his limbs. They only worsen the nausea and it's pure instinct that gives him the strength to sit up.
"Kas?” he whispers, swallowing thickly against another wave. "Bathroom?”
Instead of giving him directions or pulling him up to drag him there, Kas wastes no time. He gets up off the floor, approaching him with shuffling steps once more, and gently but quickly lifts Steve off the bed in a hold — firm, yet gentle — that brings another sting of tears to Steve's eyes. Pain and vulnerability and the need for everything to be over. That’s what makes him cry.
Still he manages to hold on, his head rolling onto Kas's shoulder, the skin of his neck blissfully cool against Steve’s overheated forehead pressing into him.
Make it stop, he thinks. Longs. Aches. It’s supposed to be over. It’s all supposed to be over now.
He whimpers again, and imagines that Kas is the one to softly shush him this time.
The coolness of Kas's neck is gone all too soon as the vampire sets Steve on the hard, uncomfortable bathroom floor. He doesn't go far, though, crouching down beside him and holding him up over the toilet. Steve can't see anything, but still he’s grateful that Kas left the lights off, the bathroom tinged in the same darkness as his bedroom.
Pathetically, Steve rests his forehead on the toilet seat, chasing the coldness of it as pain and nausea reach their peak. It’s disgusting, but be’s not strong enough to care. A whine breaks from him, and he wishes Kas would leave. Even though the cold hand on his neck feels good, and even though he knows he wouldn't be able to hold himself up right now.
I'm not weak, he wants to say. And maybe he does. But he can't recognise his own voice right now.
"Not weak, maybe, but pathetic."
No.
"You know you are."
Shut up. Go away.
It doesn't make sense for Mr Munson to suddenly be here with them, to stand in the doorway and watch his nephew, who is more monster than human these days, holding up the pathetic form of Steve, who is more pain than human. More smoke than human. More vulnerable weakness than remotely human.
Go away. Eddie? I want him to go away. Tell— Go ‘way.
The hand wanders, pulling Steve against cool skin again so his forehead rests against the toilet no longer, basking in the cold touch and the warmth of a body to hold him.
"Safe," Kas says, and Steve wants to badly to believe him. Wants Wayne to leave, wants everyone to leave and just let him suffer in silence and solitude like always.
Wayne starts talking again, but Steve can't hear him this time as he suddenly heaves and retches, throwing up what little he had to eat today. Over and over and over.
It goes like this for a long time. He has no idea how long. Has no idea where he even is anymore.
The world tilts a few times when he loses his grip, his arms buckling, his hands spasming and giving out, and still he never falls. Only ever feels the cold, damp skin of Kas’s neck.
Kas has to carry him to bed when he's done and on the brink of passing out again, and Steve doesn’t mind this time. Kas also hands him a glass of water or two before pushing him back to lie down again. That’s nice.
The wet cloth returns, and Steve isn't aware of his surroundings for much more after that.
——
The next time Steve comes to, he feels like he was freshly dragged through Lover’s Lake until his lungs gave out. His head is pulsing violently, his senses are sluggish and everything feels foggy. He has no idea where he is, the room pitch black around him as he lifts a lukewarm damp cloth from his eyes.
A soft groan falls from his lips as he stretches his aching, cramped limbs, rubbing his hands over his face and regaining the feeling in his body. Little pinpricks of phantom pain shoot through him, his mouth tastes like ash and his head protests rather violently against his pathetic attempt at sitting up.
He is disoriented and something about his vision is still messed up, something in the depths of the room not quite right and leaving him with a dizziness he can’t quite shake, followed by a wave of anxiety that something’s wrong with his eyes.
He blinks. Blinks again, finding more things in the strange room as he does, his sluggish brain slowly catching up and filling in the blanks.
It all comes back to him like a tidal wave when he suddenly finds himself blinking at a pair of red eyes, softly glowing and wide open.
“Kas,” he croaks, his throat absolutely parched.
One second he’s wincing at that, the next he finds a cool glass of water pressed into his hands before the eyes and the shadowy form they belong to retreat to the foot of the bed again.
“Thanks,” he murmurs, stalling as he takes a sip. Embarrassment rises in him, but he doesn’t want to apologise. The thought of that somehow makes the vulnerability that much worse, so he tries to ignore it. It’ll all be fine if they simply not acknowledge it.
He wants to ask for the time instead, wants to know how much the migraine took from him this time, but he knows Kas doesn’t really understand the concept of it all, let alone know the numbers.
A silence settles between them and it’s somewhere between welcome and uncomfortable. Just like everything that happens in Hawkins. It makes Steve feel like a ghost again, but this time he’s a ghost in the room, not just in his own head. He’s the one who’s out of place.
With a little sigh, he places the glass on the makeshift nightstand again and falls over onto his side. His head is mad at him for it, still feeling too fragile for sudden movements, but lying down feels better than sitting.
There’s a huff from Kas that sounds more amused than derisive, so Steve looks at him. Looks at the shimmer in those eyes before closing his own again, not wanting to be looked at right now. Not wanting to face it.
“You,” Kas says then, his voice quiet and without the edge of that animalistic growl. The sound of someone who’s not meant to speak at all. The souvenir of someone who was human once before Evil grabbed him and modified him to His liking.
“Me,” Steve says, an automatic response, just as quiet. He’s listening.
“How… How are…” Kas struggles, huffing in frustration at the words that refuse to come, but still it’s the most coherent Steve has ever heard him. It makes him sit up half way again; leaning his weight on one arm to focus all his foggy and cloudy attention on the vampire trying to ask him how he is feeling.
No more words come, though, the question half finished in the air between them. But somehow it makes Steve smile. Just a little bit. This feels important. And huge.
“My head hurts,” he answers truthfully, amused when Kas’s eyes snap back to his. To search them. To communicate something.
“Hurts?”
“Yeah. It will, for a while. Always does. Nothing to do about it, really.” He wishes he felt as indifferent to it as he sounds, but that’s just the tiredness clouding his tone. It’s fast approaching now that he knows he’s relatively safe. Now that he knows he can rest. His arm gives out and he slides, slowly this time, back to lie on the pillow. “But it’s not as bad. And the other pain is gone, so…”
So. He could go home now. He should, probably. Ignoring the weakness in his bones and the exhaustion in his every fiber. If he closed his eyes again right now, he could fall asleep. Still, maybe he should—
“Stay,” Kas says again, and Steve really should have figured. He’s not quite well enough to really fight him on that, though, so he shrugs.
“Fine,” he mumbles into the pillow, halfway back to slumberland already.
There’s movement on the foot of the bed, and before he knows it Kas has tucked him in again, draped across the pillows as he is. It’s still unreal, that, but Steve won’t complain. What’s even more unreal, though, is the image Steve gets of Kas curling up by the foot of the bed in a similar position. As if he still means to keep watch.
It’s ridiculous. A little weird. And sort of endearing.
——
The next time Steve wakes, everything around him is a little brighter, daylight fighting weakly to fill the room, but it stands no chance against the large wooden planks and thick curtains meant to block it out permanently.
He blinks away the heaviness, taking stock of his body. There is a crick in his neck and burgeoning cramps in his side and hip from the position he’s still in, and this head still is a pulsing, aching mess — but no more than usual.
He taps the pads of his fingers to his thumb before flexing his hands. Only then does he stretch the rest of his body and announce his wakefulness.
Opposite him, at the foot of the bed, Kas is already awake and still in the same position that Steve saw him last. Did he even sleep? Does he need that? Or has he just been staring at Steve, watching him, ready to carry him to the bathroom again for round two.
The thought of that makes his skin crawl.
“Hi,” he says to fill the silence that is all too inviting for his spiralling mind.
Kas grunts, but it sounds more like a hum. Sort of gentle around the edges. He doesn’t move, doesn’t seem at all fazed that they’re just kind of staring at each other. Steve swallows, not really sure how to go from here.
He fists the blanket and rubs the linen bedding between his fingers, feels the rough fabric catching on the callouses along his hands as uncomfortable seconds tick by. Still Kas doesn’t move.
“Listen, man,” Steve says at last, thinking back to yesterday’s events and the vampire’s sudden care. “Thanks, alright? What you did, that was, uh. That was nice. You didn’t have to do any of that.”
Another hum, and it occurs to Steve that Kas is back in his normal state, retreated back into his mind, hiding from the world himself now that it no longer needs him. It’s a strange thought, that Steve being hurt would be what brings him back. If at all. Maybe he’s reading it all wrong. Maybe it as just a coincidence, or maybe Kas tasted something in his blood that made him want to improve Steve’s physical state for selfish purposes. That’s probably more likely.
But it makes him feel even more wrong-footed than before, and it leaves him hyper-aware of the situation. Of their dynamic. Indifference and annoyance and… He doesn’t want it to change, doesn’t want some kind of debt between himself and Kas — especially not when Kas has no means to really settle it. But he also can’t feign some kind of gratitude when what he feels the most is mortification and embarrassment; and he sure as hell doesn’t want Kas to know that either.
So he throws back the blanket and gets out of the bed, a little dizzy at first, but he doesn’t care as he slips into his shoes and hurries out of the room.
He just wants to leave. Get out of here and go home, go back to bed and get over the mortification of having been seen like this. Of having been taken care of. By someone who doesn’t even like him. By someone who hissed and snapped at him one moment and then carried him to the bathroom the next.
“It looks like there’s nothing human left in him, but we do have data that suggest otherwise.” Owens’s words echo through his mind as he crosses the living room. “It seems to be in hiding, the Munson part of him; that’s our hope at least. That you can get him back out one day, make him win over the vampire part. It could be like a self defence mechanism, I guess. We hope he can still be coaxed back into the land of the living. How, though, we don’t know.”
Was this what happened? Has Steve’s weakness triggered the human part of Kas’s tortured brain to take over? No, that can’t be.
It seems unreal. Unlikely. Wayne telling him stories or Dustin talking about their campaign, that should have helped. Even Mike playing the guitar, or Robin rambling about something or other; all of that was much more close to who Munson was. Or used to be. Eddie Munson never struck Steve as someone who took care of people naturally. Someone who stepped in. He stepped up, sure, but only ever for the wrong reasons.
It makes no sense. So it must be wrong; just Steve’s exhausted brain grasping at straws. It usually does that, anyway. Nobody knows if Eddie is even still in there. Part of Steve hopes he’s not.
Just as he reaches for the front door, ready to just get out of here and pretend like nothing happened, he feels a presence behind him. Kas followed him out of the bedroom, standing in the doorway now with an unreadable expression. It's the blank one he usually takes on, but where before it was normal, it throws Steve off now. Maybe because he saw how Kas can look at him. How expressive his eyes can get.
He holds them, the red shimmer a little dimmer out here in the brighter living room.
And maybe it's the blankness in those eyes, or the lack of judgment in Kas's every action, but whatever it is, it makes Steve let go of the door and turn to face Kas properly.
"Why'd you do it?"
The vampire inclines his head. Listening. Always listening. Steve doesn't know how he never noticed that. It seemed so primitive before. Like how a dog will react to its owner speaking, but never process the words. Kas processes, though. So Steve keeps going.
"Why'd you... You kept saying that word. Safe. Do you, uh. Do you know what it means?"
Slowly, his eyes growing a little less blank, Kas nods.
Steve looks around the cabin, swallowing thickly, still feeling so out of place in here, still feeling the need to run and leave it far behind. But something makes him stay. Makes him want to understand.
"You wanted me to feel safe?" Again, Kas nods. "Why?"
There is hesitation there, and Steve wonders if it's because he doesn't want to tell him, if he doesn't know the answer, or if he doesn't know how to answer. It's a loaded question, maybe.
"Pain," he says at last, his voice barely discernible from a growl, but somehow Steve seems attuned to it now. Maybe because he listens now. Because he wants to know. To understand.
He waits, watching as Kas struggles for more words once more. Just like last night.
"Know... Know... pain. Know.” He taps his temple with a clawed hand, and Steve's heart falls, his chest aching with realisation.
Right. He would. He would know pain like that. If what the doc says is right, if what Vecna taunted them with is right, if every working theory the kids have is right, then… yeah. Kas would know. He’s know something about pain. More than any of them. Pain so intense it splits you apart from yourself.
"Shit," Steve whispers more to himself than to the room, crossing his arms in front of his chest to hug himself and keep from digging deeper, keep his heart from falling further, and keep the horror at bay.
He doesn't want to imagine the kind of torture Kas went through. Is still going through, if what the doctors say has even more truth to it. If Munson is still in there, still suffering because human minds have a way of holding on to pain — Steve knows soemthing about that, too.
"I'm sorry," he offers. It's all he can offer. In the end, it’s all that’s left.
And still it's so lame. It's not enough.
But Kas just nods again, a pained shadow of a smile appearing on his face. Something transpires between them in that moment, Steve can feel it, but he can't really define it. Maybe some kind of understanding. Some kind of safety.
"I gotta..." he starts, motioning to the door behind him. "I gotta go. Will you be fine? Did you have enough, y'know, to drink?"
Another nod, and the smile widens a little. Looks a little less pained this time.
"Good," Steve says, stuffing his hands into his pockets, lifting his shoulders to his ears, trying and failing to seem casual in the face of those glowing eyes. "I’ll– I'll see you around, yeah?"
And then he's out the door, his head spinning and aching, his steps heavy with the weight of whatever has changed between him and Kas in the past twenty-four hours.
... sooo. part 3 anyone?
🤍 permanent tag list gang: @skiddit @inklessletter @aringofsalt @hellion-child @stobin-cryptid @hotluncheddie @gutterflower77 @auroraplume @steddieonbigboy @n0-1-important @stevesjockstrap @brainvines @puppy-steve @izzy2210 @itsall-taken @mangoinacan13 @madigoround @pukner @i-amthepizzaman @swimmingbirdrunningrock @hammity-hammer @stevesbipanic @bitchysunflower @estrellami-1 @finntheehumaneater @goodolefashionedloverboi (lmk if you want on or off, for this story or permanently) 🤍 tagging for this work only: @forestnymph-666 @little-trash-ghost @jupitersgonemissing
#steddie#steddie fic#steve harrington#eddie munson#steve x eddie#kas eddie munson#kas takes care of steve fic#this part is downright short for me lmao#dio words#something so monstrous#i have a lot of things to say about pain and monstrosity but instead i just juxtapose them with an actual monster#and then bend the understanding of humanity around that instead#if the tag list doesn't work pls lmk some of these tags be looking wonky on mobile#the end of this is super rushed but 1) steve is still disoriented n weak 2) the mortifying ordeal of having been taken care of must be fled#3) too many thoughts too many realisations and things rearranging overwritten by the need to leave#so pls know it’s intentional and real life is abrasive like that sometimes hdhdh
294 notes
·
View notes
Text
"Her time with Halbrand was a time where she was very much herself in some ways because she was an Elf alone. She wasn't following the rules of her people at that point. So, he knows a part of her that other people, other beings, don't, and there's a tragedy to losing that, and through losing him, she's also lost that part of herself. " --Morfydd Clark
I thought we were done with LA press day bounties and the latest drop brought the most devastating line yet. 😭 I could go on and on about this aspect of Galadriel's characterization and in particular what being around Halbrand/Sauron brings out of her compared to how she acts when she's back in the 'nest' as it were. I don't know if it's intentional or not but something about the way they've written Galadriel reintegrating back into her community just felt subtly stifling and like that'd be one thing if the writers were self-aware about it but I got the impression it's meant to be this 100% good/wholesome thing about maturation and growth. I think this is the first time someone from the show has spoken of it differently, because there is a Loss there too. A pretty profound one.
Yes she had reasons to feel guilty and that would mean a humbled Galadriel in season 2, but I couldn't help but also notice the way she holds herself, bites her tongue, struggles to contain her anger and pain, are all pretty similar to how she acted around the elves in season 1 before she was exiled. And we subsequently saw her really sparking and expressing everything she felt after jumping off that ship, meeting Halbrand, causing a ruckus on Numenor, etc etc. (With Habrand especially, I think the way I described it once when watching s1, the reason the dynamic really grabbed me and what I saw as Galadriel coming alive, is that he spoke to her like she was just a woman, the real flesh and blood person in between the black sheep of the elves or the untouchable Lady of Light. It's no wonder he got her to bare her soul in that forge.) I reject the idea that all of that was just this flawed part of her she needs to erase from her character to become the true Galadriel. Character growth should temper her more impulsive and reckless traits but not figuratively lobotomize her.
#haladriel#I said on twt that I also don't know if the (male) showrunners do this on purpose or not lol#sometimes it's like even when male writers like their female character they still think her actualization arc requires conformity#a rejection of anything transgressive especially transgressive sexuality lol#it's something society really internalizes in everyone sigh#even if they feel galadriel needs to 'quiet' herself in this way i hope they lean in more on this also being tragic not just growth/maturit#in order to resist the draw to evil and protect the elves galadriel also has to - essentially - be unhappy#galadriel#galadriel x sauron#the rings of power#I'm reminded a bit of themes you see in cbms and other action movies that feature a villain shaped by a deeply flawed society#and the cishet patriarchal hero sympathizes with the villain but ultimately must stop them because the villain went 'too far'#and once the villain is dealt with the flawed society goes back to normal and nothing changes lol
75 notes
·
View notes
Text
I see other Ukrainians writing about their memories from 24.02.2022, when the full scale invasion started... it is true that that day is seared in the memory clearer than any of the actually good days in life.
Somehow, everyone in my twitter feed was anticipating it to start on that day in particular. I remember going to bed on the 23rd having just put my new bedsheets on it, and checking social media before sleep. The last tweet I saw before falling asleep was, "Kharkiv, hold on tight, our dears". Everyone assumed they would invade just from the east. There was still this very foolish trust in Belarus present then...
And then at around 5AM I got woken up by the sounds of distant explosions. I got up and walked to the window, looking at the horizon, but didn't see anything out of the ordinary. I took my phone, saw that our work group chat was buzzing with messages - my colleagues had also been woken up. I was still standing by the window when my mother come into my room, crying, saying that it had begun.
I turned on my work computer and got on video chat with some of my coworkers. Nobody knew what to do, but talking to each other on video made us feel ever so slightly lost.
And then followed several days and nights of sitting in a basement. To the sound of fighter jets flying low right above us, so loud it made the walls hum, and not knowing whose jets they were. To the sounds of explosions, of artillery launching. To the sounds of fierce battles in Bucha and Irpin, which I live just a few kilometers away from.
The basement we were in was tiny and later deemed categorically unfit to function as a bomb shelter. If the house had been hit, we would have all been just buried there. But that would all be later...
#russian invasion of ukraine#russia must burn#it still sometimes feels surreal and at the same time it feels like the only reality that ever existed
269 notes
·
View notes
Text
can't fool him
#a doodley#he's so mean to smunker sometimes#also i feel ive been writing a lot of Few Words Talon lately i promise he Still Talks#this specifically is a result of. i feel once he starts feeling intensely toward smunker and cow al#(not even specific Positive emotion just Emotions Intensely) he's fond of kissing but kind of just launches onto you w.o warning#so they tell him to have some tact and he doesnt like that#most he does is basically announce he's going to kiss you bc its not a question either#single word because its stupid you're even making him do that#and he won't repeat himself. you must be trying to humiliate him.#and of course he wont ASK for affection OR permission to have it. this is why he just Takes It. you must be stupid.
376 notes
·
View notes
Text
Oh look. Reverse!Robins.
Bruce: “No murder.”
Damian: “No murder.”
Cass: “No murder.”
Tim: “No murder.”
Jason: “No murder for babies.”
Duke: “No murder until you can write me a researched & cited essay on why it is necessary for the greater good. Five page minimum.”
Dick: “I’m gonna murder.”
Red Hood!Steph: “I LIKE THIS ONE!”
#She is his fun murder aunt. Cass is having a stroke.#For the record#I feel like Jason’s Robin-era grappling with his own morality (ie sometimes murder good when extenuating circumstances) is even bigger here#Eventually he comes to the conclusion that it is a last resort but still an option that must be considered to protect future victims.#But the guilt of everyone else seeming to have absolutely no doubts or hesitations with their own convictions#which he finds himself disagreeing with at times… especially after Steph comes back? Yeah that fucks with Jay’s head.#//#reverse!robins#reverse robins au#reverse robins#reverse order robins#reverse order batkids#reverse batkids#reverse batfam#reverse batfamily#batfamily#bat family#batfam#bat fam#red hood stephanie brown#red hood steph#rh!steph#red hood!steph#red hood!stephanie brown#my writing#mine
95 notes
·
View notes
Text
3.13 | ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴀꜱᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ʟᴏʀᴅꜱ
link to the post I accidentally wound up prattling endlessly about in the tags 💀
#doctor who#tenth doctor#martha jones#david tennant#freema agyeman#(good god. without even meaning to I went into 'psycho stream of consciousness tagging' mode. whoops)#always thinking of that one post#where OP mentions how the writing tries to make it seem like Ten looked right through Martha/etc#which is a good concept for demonstrating his grief. but also isnt what we really see throughout S3#(not saying he wasn't a grieving MESS because he was. but he's a multi-faceted character and he can grieve AND value Martha simultaneously)#but we see such fierce protective instinct+trust; a bond between them that obviously isn't some one-sided affair#+ his clear intent to impress her/be admired and respected by her (apropos the post that inspired this sentiment)#but RTD obviously isn't the most infallible of writers#*cough* [list of reasons I cut down b/c long] *cough*#He can make Martha say “he's not seeing me/he doesn't look at me” but then you just watch with your eyes and you get a different story#It's like the opposite of when Moffat tries to make you believe someone is super important through bold claims without showing his work#instead RTD tries to make you believe Ten is functionally blind to Martha's existence while showing numerous examples of the contrary#then bring in the novels+myspace blog+cartoon that he all signed off on. Which tie together to create a canon backdrop#basically I said all of that to say this—#it's the whole reason I had to make this blog to get this sort of stuff off my chest (even if it's just for me sometimes)—#Ten not only SAW Martha—he trusted+respected+enjoyed+adored her. And it's a good thing#it doesn't cheapen his grief. I feel like people must think it does which is why I constantly see bad unnecessary takes about them#it just means that Martha was SO important to him and it's ok. they had a killer friendship outside the unrequited minutiae and it's ok#there's even a comic where 'someone' makes him believe she's Martha and he makes her change her appearance because “it's still too raw”#Just saying you don't say that sort of thing about someone whose existence you're all blasé about#Martha already gets fucked by the narrative in enough ways without people totally missing her significance in the Doctor's life#you don't have to ship them to appreciate them on a deeper level#anyway. fuck. if you actually read all of these then I'm so sorry#creating this blog has taught me that there are only like two people who feel the same way about tenmartha matters and it’s fine 😂#but if I didn’t give myself an outlet it would probably form a tumor SO there we are then
70 notes
·
View notes
Text
Headcanon that Ais never feels fully rested. He doesn't feel tired, but he doesn't feel right either. Not since joining the groupmind.
He sleeps, but his mind is never really at peace. When and if he manages to fall into a deep enough sleep, he's in a constant state of something akin to lucid dreaming.
He gets flashes of the other members of the group mind in place of any real rest. Their current actions; errant memories; whispers in long-dead languages he's leaned to understand.
#also sometimes when he wakes up he's *immediately* violent#wakes up in a rage sometimes and he doesn't really know why--he's the most dangerous one to wake up bc you never know WHO you'll get and#even if you get Ais he doesn't have the wherewithal to stop himself--damage is already done by the time he....#(what is that word i am looking for?)#the word for...debris floating on water? flotsam?? i swear there's another word...#also very difficult to tell when he's asleep - he gets in bed and just breathes evenly and you would think that he MUST be asleep but he#has that kind of ...discipline?? where he can force his body to relax#he sleeps on his back for the most part (less muscle strain) and lays eerily still it's v unnatural#if he's ultra comfy he's a stomach sleeper but Basically No One is aware of this#he'll stomach sleep with Princess & the pack sometimes#would sleep on the bed with his shoes on sometimes i think i'm sorry it's true. just hang 'em off the edge babe there's blood on the soles#sigh ais you are such a balancing act i need to write you MORE#ais touchstarved#toxintouch writing: headcanons#ais headcanon#queue: time for sleep#queued post
70 notes
·
View notes
Text
Being constantly surrounded by the presence of a loving God sounds great until you realize you never know when his freaky fuckin eyes are gonna show up to check on you.
And man. They do it a LOT.
#primus please let the mech breathe#what i want to emphasize most with this iteration of optimus is the inherent fucking terror of being made a prime#really pick at those little threads of how fucked the matrix as a concept is. same with the staple tropes of op himself#the idea in tfp that it can entirely change your personality. and that if you lose it you cannot remember your time with it#those implications send me spiraling. to what degree is optimus the same being as orion pax? do you forfeit your soul to be a demigod?#do you fucking die to become a conduit for the higher being that made you? letting it puppet your mind and body like a parasitoid?#if death in transformers is simply rejoining the allspark; if the soul is something splintered off from the whole;#and if to die as a cybertronian is for that fragment to merge with the whole once again. is a prime not fundamentally a dead mech walking?#a prime stands with one pede in the afterlife and one in the land of the living and has to keep up with both at once#constantly seeing visions from a plane his processor was never meant to comprehend with optics that were never built to see it#forced to adapt into an elevated being as much as a frame that still has silly things like wants and needs and emotions and base coding can#how does a mortal live when his body is no longer just his body; but a vessel fir something holy and a tool fashioned to heal the world?#when he can never truly be alone again and he has to simply live with the ever present knowledge that he is being watched#both by his god and by the world#how does one live knowing not even their thoughts are private? when your god may be living but man he does not get the idea of boundaries#guess it must be hard to grasp personal space and all that when youre an ocean of souls that left it behind#maccadam#transformers#wayward sparks#optimus prime#art tag#sometimes i feel kinda bad for putting this bastard through The Horrors. if ws gets made all the way he will be thrown so many bones#only sometimes tho >:3
65 notes
·
View notes
Text
QSMP February drawing of the day
Day 2: Q!BBH updated design/concept art
An agent of destruction and a reaper of death
#qsmp#qsmp badboyhalo#badboyhalo#qsmp fanart#qsmp art#q bbh#as much as i love drawing qbad in fancy dresses i gotta admit it must be a little impractical to wear daily#so i designed my rendition of his usual attire with some of my own twists!#the first two are qbad's cloak that he mostly uses to hide his features and sort of remain in the shadows- the blue and red are sort#of remincient of the colors on his current skin#the blue represents the soul vultures' effect- he's still dying but i didnt have enough energy to draw all the scars and markings for now X#then u have his combat/adventuring attire which allows him to move more freely in a fight#sometimes he still wears the cloak with this outfit but it's not really needed#also ghosties cameo!! they love to cling to the demon in wispy crowds that only he and some eggs can see
267 notes
·
View notes