#and monsters can grow out of it
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I like to think that if Tamlin fully harnessed his power, and trained it to it's fullest potential he could turn the entirety of the Spring Court forests into writhing pulsating flesh that could literally eat any attacker that treads foot into it.
#flesh posting#i just really want a forest made out of flesh#oozing flesh#that can change colours also to try and look like a normal forest until its too late#and monsters can grow out of it#it has gnashing teeth and eyes#tree branches turn to hands#tamlin can become part of the flesh forest#your eldritch horror is a creature made from the roots of the forest#my eldritch horror is a forest made from the flesh of the creature#we are not the same#acotar#tamlin#pro tamlin#acotar headcanons
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as happy as i am about the popularity that willmark is getting (even if the 'mark' in question is from a different universe), i wish ppl would realize that you can ship a villain with a regular guy Without making the villain a yandere cornball
#IM NOT TRYING TO POLICE WHAT CONTENT YOU GUYS MAKE BTW#just making that clear jic it sounds like that#I just personally don't like that characterization of maskless mark / mark gayson / gayvincible / whatever other nicknames there are for hi#I also don't like the yandere trope in general#with invincible its been shown so many times that literally any of the villains (even sinclair) can be reformed#so it wouldn't make sense for that mark variant to be like. well. That#debbie already took in oliver despite the fact that her ex-husband had him with a mantis alien#AND when oliver killed the twins she didn't immediately act like he was a monster#so with gayvincible even though it would probably be really Really hard for her#he's still her son; albeit from a different universe and also evil#but if she was able to get the “killing is okay” mindset out of oliver then she prolly would also be able to get it out of maskless mark#also rick was an evil robot creature and william still helped / is helping him get past that#so it wouldn't be out of character if william helped maskless mark get past whatever happened in his universe & grow and change as a person#im prolly just repeating the same point over again hfdhsgj#basically what im trying to say is; will x maskless mark doesn't have to be corny yandere bs#it could also be william helping him get past whatever happened in his universe#prolly phrased a few things wrong here but eh#invincible#mark grayson#maskless mark#william clockwell#willmark
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Prompt 270
Wing Au? Wing Au.
But see, ecto-contamination has an effect on those of Amity Park, even more so after their temporary stint into the Zone itself. They were there for hours, if not more, that has an effect on things. It’s like suddenly being transported in the middle of the sight of a nuke, there’s no way you aren’t getting irradiated.
So their wings might start to… mutate a bit. Just shift and adjust here and there, grow bigger than how they should, with how flight had been lost so long ago. Some now covered in a waxy sheen, others bioluminescent, more with flickers of scales like moths. Others even further changed, the tops opening into maws, eyes blinking amidst feathers, leaves growing from bone like it’s a branch.
And the Outside remains oblivious beyond the shields, unaware of the rising anger behind it as instincts of predators are returned and brought anew. Where the dead and the living meld into something new. Something Other to what they once were.
And the GIW are starting to become concerned with how the things inside are searching for a way out. It… might be time to ask for assistance.
#DPxDC#DCxDP#Prompts#Wings Au#Liminal Amity Park#Danny’s wings has star patterns but the longer u look u realize there’s Eyes#Vlad is like a biblical angel with how many he has across his body#Sam has leaves & ferns growing out of hers like a sloth’s fur#Tucker has the jaw wings like a morudomunto from monster hunter#It’s more and more eldritch the more contaminated one is#This includes the Fenton parents#Non-Parker’s wings are too small to actually fly & their predatory instincts are only remnants#The Amity Parkers practically phoenixes since they’re so ecto-contaminated that they generate it#And they are very much gunning for the GIW#Let them OUT dammit#GIW: Hey heroes can we have some help-#*Rabid Ghost & Liminal noises in the background*
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One thing I love about Monster Hunter is that a lot of the more powerful monsters have these huge legends about them. Folklore, rumors, all that. And then when you face the beast, they're not entirely false. Yet the exact truth isn't always shown to you either, letting you decide just how much is rumor and just how much is real.
This is especially evident in Fatalis and I think it's fun
#monster hunter#like we know Fatalis will body slam hunters#and we know its parts can seemingly grow after death#and the legends are that it tries to melt hunters out of revenge#and that it can fully regenerate even after being forged into weapons#now I think the legends exaggerate and anthropomorphize#but clearly there's truth to them to a degree#and I like that
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Shadowkin have tough skin and are covered in crystal/rock-like growths and spikes with different levels of pointyness, they don't have the need to use full armour, the growths will get in the way of most clothing anyway, so even armour of the shadowkin is aimed for dealing more damage, rather than protect, and the edgier it looks the better! They usually have very dark garments along with the details and spikes made out of metal found specifically on their territory, no one, however, stops them from adding a few dashes of favorite color here and there just to stand out a little.
Shadowkin would wear something more colorful if they deliberately want to be noticed, on celebratory occasions, or if they live on the surface and blending with the shadows is not a necessity (although, most still stick with the dark wear simply because they take pride in their style)
#original character#oc#monster#monster oc#shadowkin#dark eltaan#eltaan#original species#can you tell I'm a little obsessed with this subrace?#tehy can also grow prostetics out of their crystals!
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What if we were both magic prodigies and it otherized us in different ways and we devoted ourselves to protecting a family member who has general other goals & priorities. What if we both did self-sacrifical devotion in opposite ways.
What if we were dark mirrors of each other and where I've grown overcontrolling you've grown complacent. What if, bought as a servant into a pretty loving home, ownership and control is what love looks like to me, and to you neglected and lonely growing up, love is gratefully taking any scraps of it you’re lent.
By belonging to someone, even if she comes back injured or fails at finding Delgal, she feels like she belongs and is cherished, by owning someone he feels safe in them not leaving him.

She’s what’s tethering him do you see… And he’s the only thing giving her direction and purpose in her state. She needs a compass and he needs a support.

They’re both so out of it 😭 It’s the weirdly intense and unearned mutual trust and reliance on each other?? They’re each other’s weird little comfort codependent teddy bear. Or at least they were headed towards that before SHE DIED THEN HE DIED THEN THEY BOTH FORGOT ABOUT EACH OTHER AND NEVER MET EVER AGAIN. Though she’s also the guard attack hound keeping him safe… And vice versa he heals her and can rewrite her very being with just one wave of his hand. They’re both so so mentally and physically vulnerable both but they cling onto each other. They can’t perceive things accurately but despite it all someway somehow they stumble into something closer to resembling companionship just before they both die. Falin is just that kind and Thistle is just that lonely. Overworked.
We both haven’t lived for ourselves in a very long time, haven’t we.


They both have a similar devotion to the people they love but again the difference is that Thistle starts overtsepping while Falin is self-effacing. The other difference between them is that people care about Falin <3 People have given up on Thistle long ago, and he has given people reasons to, while people refuse to give up on Falin. Yaad has a mini arc about it dw about it it’s ok he’s not all alone in the end 😭😭 He reached out for Marcille’s hand but they already all wanted to help him, they just had to be given the chance to, Yaad just had to be given the chance to, it’s okay I’m okay
Hey what if we learned to get in touch with our own identity and the world around us and living in the present again through being in the worst codependent situationship ever.
Falin and Thistle sitting in a tree, sucking on flowers together because they’re h-u-n-g-r-y 💕💕💕


I bet he’s only ever thought of flowers as useless ornaments. Weak weeds. But she shows him they’re tasty and useful and good and pretty in their own right too and deserve existing without proving their worth and waaa <33 Thistles…... Did you know thistles taste sweet if you remove the thorns and eat them?
"Even as a chimera, her kind nature remains" you can’t suppress her in the way that matters. You can’t soothe him in the way that matters. It’s doomed. You’re doomed. It’s all doomed. Save me.
#Spoilers#dungeon meshi manga spoilers#Thistle#falin touden#thistlin#OOOOH UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP THAT SOMEHOW WORKS OUT SAVE ME#I need them to be traumabonded kittens to not separate post-canon#I’m seeing a raise in post-canon thistle content/interest which makes me v happy#Fumi rambles#Falin learning to disobey orders with Thistle is one of my fave things. EAT THAT CURRY GIRL!!!! Nvm that it’s gonna get you killed#It’s good for the character arc#Falin and thistle sitting on a web o-b-s-e-s-s-i-n-g <3#This is somewhat of a tldr of my huge thistlin post. Plus some thoughts i had in discord or twitter#Keeping it for another day but tbh if you see their dynamic in canon as her thinking/having picked him as her mate it changes nothing#about her behavior which I find funny. Thistle accidentally claimed himself a parrot mate bc he’s bad with monsters confirmed#Ik my thing of them learning to relax and live in the present moment again is pretty fanon BUT IT’S WHAT KUI POINTED TOWARDS#With her calming him down from a panic attack and eating berries. With the baths for dandruffs. Etc. Thistle hasn’t socialized in a long#time and he wouldn’t if it wasn’t a tool he needed to interact with BUT it’s still socialization and it’s getting him in touch with his#surroundings again even if just a bit slowly but surely!! The Toudens have a superpower in reaching Thistle. Bless#How’s that one post go again. he refuses to develop he's part of the problem he maintains the cycle he's trapped in the cycle.#she's growing she's finding her place she escaped her original role she wants to help people she will never save him she will never save hi#Something something they have to abstract each other bc relationships with humans have always been too charged and unsafe#Only by seeing each other as more concept than person more object than peer can they truly be vulnerable#Like the fuckedupness lf their dynamic and state is WHY they’re so attached. Why their dynamic could be so raw and needy#The stars aligned in the worst way. Mission successfully faile#Tfw we both need to feel needed
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Marisol Coxi was one of those Monster High dolls I really wanted when I was little but never ended up getting, so I think it would be awesome if she got brought back for G3! Going off that I thought I’d try designing her a G3 look! I actually love how it turned out, I wanted to keep her colour scheme and aspects of her original design (like the hair and the shoes) but also looked up some Peruvian clothes for her since she’s from Monster Pichu!
#I really really like it lol#I had Abbey growing up and once it was revealed Marisol was her cousin I thought it would be great to have them both#but I was a kid so my sisters and I really only ever got MH dolls as Christmas or birthday gifts if we were lucky so we couldn’t really pick#who we’d get#but now I’m an adult with adult money#and I can get dolls when they come out!#manifesting G3 abbey#I know she’s out in some stores so I really want to find her in my town#monster high#monster high reboot#monster high g3#monster high gen 1#mh g3#mh g1#marisol coxi#monster exchange
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RiAAU Sasha's complicated relationship with her adoptive parents, Percy and Braddock, stems from an awkward mixture of unconditional love, resentment over their inability to protect her from Grime in her childhood, and their fear of what she's become.
#raised in amphibia au#amphibia#sasha waybright#my posts#they sort it out but it takes time#percy and braddock have loved sasha since she was brought to the Tower all dirty and crying and scared at the tender age of 3#and they did their best but also... they were very young themselves. like early 20s maybe#hell they weren't even together by the time they adopted her#they were just friends who saw this kid in need of parents and legal guardians and decided to take care of her#but with Grime being their superior and Sasha being forced to grow up in the Tower...#Percy and Braddock had to do compulsory military service for like. 15 years or something idk. this is my made up toad lore: toads have to do#at least 15 years of military service in their youth. like not all of them. there's probably like some sort of lottery and if you're#disabled or had a family that depended on you or if your daddy is a corrupt politician or something you'll be spared#the rest can either follow the law and be assigned to the closest tower or like. become a runaway criminal and join a group of bandits#or something#anyway percy and braddock had to do their time in the South Toad Tower so they couldn't just leave with their kid#and raise her in a more child-friendly enviroment#another point of contention! when sasha learns there's another human who was raised in a quaint little farm by frogs in wartwood she just#it's devastating to her because *that could have been her*. she could have been safe and she could have grown up like a normal kid#she could have developed like a normal person instead of becoming... *this*#and she resents Percy and Braddock for not giving her away to someone else when she was little. for not noticing when she started#acting ''abnormal'' as a result of trauma. she could have been normal like Anne. but she wasn't.#pair that to the fact Sasha is the one who remembers Earth the most and the one who wants to go back the most#AND the one who feels the most distant to her adoptive family#and the understanding that she's been *broken into* this world and that she can never go back. even if she finds a way... she can't go back.#she can't bring her REAL parents this monster#she can't explain what happened to her#and even if she went back Amphibia would alwahs haunt her#so. she can't go back. not like this.
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Morro except after all the healing and growing he meets the preeminent again and she destroys his mental state, leaving him once again without his sanity.
#lego ninjago#ninjago#now imagine this either post redemption arc with the ninja or pre ots still good#sorru having too many thoughts on him rn#just of Morro growing only fir everyone to iver look who exactly broke him so much and it was the preeminent here#yes the weird eldritch octopus moster broke his sanity what of it#wdym all you bear is weird grumbles from said octopus monster? wdym you can hear her cussing you out like a toxic asian aunty?#but WORSE#morro ninjago#morro wu#the preeminent#use this as you will i jusy like thinking of the preeminent to really match the vibe her ghosts have#what with teh whole CURSED GHOSTS thing#and you know#being evil enough to enter a realm dedicated for evil people#just the preeminent ruininh everything morro is all over again#because let be real Morro from when he died and Morro from possession is not the same#even if he didnt age at all he still experienced dexades of time#in a realm of literally the worst peopel out there#and said realm is like the second embodiment of evil#sooo#he defo faced some stuff there#poor guy only a teen and he’s got more trauma then wu at this rate#tho maybe wu is a stretch#no one pther than garmadon can reach wu’s level of mentally unwell
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Petunia literally abused Harry bro 💀 and pointing that out doesn’t mean we’re downplaying her grief or bc she’s a woman
yall are gonna freak out when you realise that abusers are also human
#’she literally ABUSED—’ yes ? and i still find her captivating and interesting#abusers are almost never just evil monsters#they’re human beings who chose to do that to you#they actively chose to treat you that way Knowing Better#and just putting the label ’abuser’ on a fictional character is so boring omg what about character studies#some people can be unredeemable ! and i can still sympathize#ive said it before. im never going to forgive my abuser and would probably punch you if you asked me to#<- but some people love my abuser and my abuser have real and good relationships in her life#shes not Evil and Monstrous all the time#but she was that way with me#people aren’t one dimensional ! life isn’t that black and white !#and its frankly quite childish and downright strange if you dont have the capacity to understand that#i literally talked about how my narcissa had good intentions but unredeemable in an ask like. the other day#nuance is interesting i fear :/#some people dont break the cycle of abuse and some people dont grow up to be good people#doesnt mean thats all there is to them i fear#anyway!#asks#also who said anything about her being a woman. that was all you king#also. sy’s post had nothing to do with petunias relationship with harry ? yall are just pointing that out because you hate women#<- now i said it!#like sy was making an interesting point about petunias grief about losing a sister she barely knew anymore but grew up with#and yall have to come in and be like WAAAAHHH SHES AN ABUSER THO DID U KNOW DID YOUUUUU#grow up
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Actually I will ramble a bit cuz my friend & I do have a hc we’ve been playing off of that involves tiny Vash but since it’s canon in stampede that Vash can change the density of his Gate & in maximum (my preferred trigun) how Vash can grow really Big and Monstrous (so can Knives) if he adds to his mass so he can support his size that maybe an Opposite effect can happen. While growing, Vash needs added mass to support his weight, but the bigger he gets, the more inhuman and more of a flesh singularity he becomes; that growth also causes him to lose his identity and get consumed by himself temporarily. Because I’m a silly guy who likes thinking his GT with logic… but also… maybe when Vash overuses plant juices, or his body needs to fall into recovery mode after extreme body harm / near fatal situations (or extreme psychological stress), he goes into what my friend and I call “power saving mode”. Back up battery. His body shrinks. Size varies but the smallest he’s gotten is 2 inches. There’s an inherent fear he has if he pushes himself over his limits he might go quantum & never recover… like how in stampede he shrunk his Gate into a quantum state… it’s a very round about kind of canon aligned hc to make Vash shrink and be tiny. And cuz he neglects his plant powers so much he can’t control it… not until much much later in maximum… but he mostly can’t… also reflects his plant ability to absorb / store energy and release it.
Something something we’ve had scenarios where Vash’s body & mind gets so stressed out mini psychotic break or physical issue just causes him to shrink in his hotel room in front of Wolfwood & the Girls… and basically whatever’s on him at the time shrinks too so what he’s wearing n stuff… hehehe itty bitty & a lil squeaky and definitely extremely nervous exchanges between handling & being handled. Also accidentally freaking out his companions. Being small reminds him he’s not human & it makes him feel a lil self conscious…
#Txt#long ramble… my friend and I have done lil timelines too…#This is all from manga events btw but like#Him shrinking after Monev the Gale’s fight in manga in front of the Girls… having them take care of him for a few nights before his body -#-decides to grow back. And then after the colony 3 fight & during hospital arc he also#Has another shrinking spell. Post adrenaline and body’s like catching up with lack of energy. The colony scientists & doctors know this#About Vash so they can still treat him but he’s flustered about it. Luida loves her teensy son…#And then there’s just little incidents when traveling with Wolfwood…#Scared him sooooo bad when it happened at first. Watching Vash just shrink after suffering a dangerous wound he#Patched up hours before. Hehe. Oops.#And then shrinking in front of both Wolfwood and the girls after this scenario where Vash absorbs radiation from a dying plant before it#Explodes but it causes him to explode into a Cronenberg flesh monster & after they pull him out his own rapidly decaying massive body & hes#In a coma does he shrink 2 days in and wake up tiny and they’re just Overwhelming him and trying to#Take care of him proper… Meryl and Wolfwood bicker about how to do it right…#Milly is very sweet and gentle with him though… but Vash overwhelmed… so easy to overwhelm.#Anyways big ramble#Trigun gt#Hehehehejehe explodes
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branching off my tags from that last post because they got horrendously off topic and im trying to get slightly better with that but aaghgghg
for a while i was thinking that russ wouldn't have very many written segments from his own POV because he's supposed to be really mysterious and kinda shady to not only everybody else but the reader as well, at least to a certain extent. i wouldn't want to accidentally allude to certain events that could give away his whole deal, and also seeing things from his "eyes" could downplay some of the vagueness & strangeness of his character
but now that i've got a couple of his POVs under my belt i'm realizing i've written him in a way that works . pretty well for those things i think! because he's a character who very very intentionally does not think about the things that are bothering him, or even properly acknowledge or process when he is thinking about those things because he'd rather it be a passing mention in his stream of consciousness instead of something to really dwell on.
like with scenes like this, russ knows something's up. edge is somewhat okay at pretending to be normal, but it was still weird to bring russ out for drinks as a thanks for chasing off his brother, and now he's very intentionally ordering russ more alcohol after not saying anything when russ drank the glass that was supposed to be his, and after confirming that russ is drinking on an empty stomach
this is, objectively, shady as hell and russ isn't actually dumb enough to fall for it, despite how much i make fun of him lol. but he's still so deep in denial that he doesn't even try to question it. because even though he hates alcohol, he doesn't hate the distraction it gives him, and he does NOT want to acknowledge that he would purposely allow someone to manipulate him like this
this is also definitely why he's lowkey binge drinking and not at all bc my friends & i are all doing our 20s wrong and don't go to bars or drink like at all so google is my only reference for how people do that shit. its in character for him to binge drink anyway WHATEVERR
which is all word vomit just to say: i probably still won't give him very many POV fics because having as much as every other character definitely would chip away at the mystery surrounding him, or at least make him a bit less of an almost mythical figure in the narrative, but in the bits he does have i will probably keep writing him like this lmao
it's good to see that he's constantly thinking and floundering but i really want to have that balance between him being this kinda-crazy-but-mostly-normal-if-you-squint, borderline invincible, unbreakable leader figure from everyone else's POV, but then from his own he's just someone who got shoved into this position and trying to do his best in insane situations all the goddamn time and he's tired but if he ever acknowledges how tired he is he might not be able to keep going and everyone is counting on him so he's gotta keep fucking going forever and ever and ever no matter what
#realizing after that last paragraph russ is kinda like if you had king papyrus without the king part. lol#dont worry bro i'm sure being in constant deep denial of your own exhaustion and declining health will work out great for you. keep it up#hey why does your supposedly fully healed leg fracture still make you walk with a limp btw. just wondering#why can't you use healing magic also. most non-fell monsters can do that so why do u need stretch. just curious really#maybe i'll do more posts where i analyze the way i write everybody's perspective........ this is fun#helps me get a better grasp on what i think works for their “voice” too#i haven't written the others (except for edge ig) quite enough to put them under a microscope like this yet tho i dont think#best i got is fluff obviously caring about what other ppl think about him & being quick to escalate his thoughts#and stretch paying more attention to other people's needs/interests than his own#(which i could actually maybe tie into why he never notices when he gets spiky or grows a tail hmmm)#i love being normal about ccharacters#russ
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do u love the colors of the comphet
When it’s over, when Henry Creel is dead and dust and they’ve emerged battered and triumphant. When she and Jonathan have ended things. When there is no more fighting to be done, she and Steve give it another go.
She knows he’s going to ask the same way she knew in ‘83. There’s no waiting this time, no need to wonder if Jonathan might want her too. They gave it the old college try (He lied to her. He was lying to her for months, and she knew something was wrong before that. She thought they could work it out. She’s so fucking sick of lying to herself being lied to).
He asks with wide, hopeful eyes, running a nervous hand through his hair. He doesn’t have anything to be nervous about. She made up her mind before he even asked.
She can do it right this time. She can love this boy the way she wants to. The way he wants her to. They’ve both grown in the years since. She’s going to do this right.
That’s the mantra she keeps in her head when he picks her up and spins her. I can do this.
She can’t do this.
It’s somehow the same and different from when they dated the first time. They’re going through the same motions, but there’s something lacking. They’re both older, more jaded. They’re not kids anymore, and it shows.
They rarely kiss. He hesitates now in a way he didn’t before. Sex is something they don’t bring up at all. Eddie makes a crude joke once, something or other about what Nancy is like in bed, and she and Steve make eye contact. There’s something there, something like mutual understanding, before Robin smacks Eddie upside the back of the head and the moment breaks. She keeps thinking about it long after. Whatever it is that they shared, they don’t talk about it.
Maybe they’re lying to themselves, both of them. Puppets going through the motions, too stubborn to admit they’re play acting as real people. Still, she can’t give this up. She can’t make the same mistakes all over again.
Robin corners her two months into the relationship. Part of Nancy is surprised it took her this long. The rest of her is angry she brings it up at all.
Saying she’s cornered might be doing her a disservice. They’re having a sleepover, painting their nails and talking about boys. Everything a girl is supposed to do. Except Robin is awkward and fumbling, and every name she brings up sounds like a question. Nancy only has Steve to talk about, and barely talks about him at all.
Finally Robin sighs and puts down the nail polish. “I feel like this subject is making us both miserable,” she declares. “I don’t want to talk about boys, I was just doing it because I thought that’s what you’re supposed to do at girl sleepovers. I haven’t actually been to a sleepover since I was in middle school and the other girls decided I was weird, but I’m pretty sure the point is to have fun. This is not fun. This is agonizing. We should talk about something else.”
“Steve isn’t making me miserable!” She snaps, before realizing she sounds way too defensive.
Robin peers at her. “Yeah, see, that’s not what I said. That’s not even a little bit close to what I said. Maybe we should talk about this instead. What’s the deal with you and Steve?”
“What deal? There’s no deal.” She turns around and rummages through the nail polish selection. Robin doesn’t exactly have a variety. Her options are red, dark red, and black. She chooses the brighter red with the absent thought that the black would look good on Robin, with her long fingers and dark eyeliner. Then she banishes that thought away.
“There’s definitely some kind of deal.”
“There isn’t.”
“Nance.”
She can’t help but turn around then, drawn in by the tone of her voice. There’s a glass wall inside of her, and someone is pounding on it, trying to get out. She wants Robin to see it. She wants someone to see behind the glass. There’s something in her trying to get out.
“Nancy,” she says again, eyes searing into her soul, “are you happy?”
She smiles, fake and fixed on her face. The glass stays firmly in place. “Of course I am,” she replies. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
The next time Robin wants to hang out, she’s busy with college preparations.
It’s not just Robin. She thinks everyone can tell something’s wrong with her. Eddie gives her these looks every time she and Steve are in front of him, like he’s putting together a puzzle. Her mom keeps trying to talk to her. Jonathan keeps trying to talk to her.
They know, she thinks wildly, every time. She doesn’t know what it is they know. She doesn’t want to find out.
She avoids them all.
When she and Steve go to dinner, the waitress captivates her.
Long, dark hair in braids. Long fingers tapping against the notepad. Dark eyes in a dark face. She’s always loved brown eyes. Nancy has never been one to be jealous of other girls (lie, lie, lie), but suddenly heat floods her body. She wants to be as gorgeous as this woman. She wants her full lips, popping gum. She wants the woman’s swaying hips as she turns and leaves their table. She wants— she wants—
She tears her gaze away to find Steve already looking at her.
The heat is dosed by the ice that fills her veins. All her senses go on high alert until she realizes he’s actually staring past her. She turns around to see the bartender. He’s handsome, she thinks, tall with tan skin and brown hair carefully styled. He’s talking to a customer, teeth shining as he laughs.
When she turns back, Steve has firmly fixed his eyes on her. She could almost believe he’d never been staring at the bartender at all.
There’s something there. Something just out of reach, something she could put a finger out and touch if she were braver. She doesn’t. There’s no gun in her hand here, no adrenaline to keep her going after it all falls apart.
“What did your dumb boyfriend do this time?” Mike demands, storming in her room. Nancy has half a mind to yell at him to knock first before she registers his words.
“Steve is- Steve is fine,” she says, startled. “He’s great, actually. Nothings wrong.“
“Then why are you so miserable all the time?” Mike accuses.
“I am not miserable!”
“You are! You both are, and neither of you will tell anyone what’s wrong, or why-“
“I don’t know why!” She shrieks. Mike falls silent, eyes wide, and Nancy suddenly realizes she’s crying.
“I don’t know why,” she repeats. “Everything is fine. He’s like, the perfect fucking boyfriend. It’s me, I’m the problem. There’s something wrong with me. There’s a beautiful boy who loves me, and I’m- I’m trying. I’m trying so hard to love him back, but I can’t. I can’t. There’s something wrong with me.” She’s desperate now, wiping away tears as she curls into a ball. She feels pathetic, crying in front of her little brother. She’s the oldest, she should be keeping it together, she shouldn’t let him see her like this. But she can’t help it. There’s something in her screaming to get out.
Mike, with all the grace and bewilderment of a newborn deer, gingerly pats her shoulder.
“Have you…talked to Steve about it?”
She gives him a cutting look. It’s probably not as effective as she wants it to be, with her red eyes and tear streaked face. Mike holds his hands up.
“I’m just saying! He’s your boyfriend, you should talk to him. And if you don’t want him to be your boyfriend, you should really talk to him.”
“I want him to be my boyfriend, I just need to get past whatever this is—“
“Nancy,” Mike says. “It’s not just you. He’s miserable too.”
“Because of me. I just need to—“
Mike shakes his head. “I don’t think it is. If it were because of you, he’d be acting different. More…kicked puppy, or whatever. He’s just being weird, and won’t tell anyone why. Dustin said he asked Robin, and she doesn’t even know.”
Nancy doesn’t have anything to say to that.
“I think you need to talk to him,” he says again. “I think you need to talk to each other.”
“When did you get so smart?” She asks, instead of crying again.
“I’ve always been smarter than you.”
She kicks him for that blatant lie.
“Are we holding onto a dead thing?” She asks out loud.
He rolls over and looks at her. She’s worried she’s hurt his feelings, broken his heart again, killed any chance they have at a relationship, romantic or not. Then he snorts.
“Robin got to you too, huh?” He asks, flopping back onto his back to look up at the sky.
“Mike, actually.”
“Mike? That shithead? What does he know about relationship problems?”
“Are we having relationship problems?”
“I mean,” he says, wry twist to his mouth, “we haven’t had any arguments.”
“Nope.”
“Or general drama.”
“That might be debatable.”
“There’s no need to spice up our sex life.”
She snacks him for that one, and he laughs. She props herself up to look him in the eye. His face is more open than she’s seen it the entire time they’ve been dating.
“I think you have to be in a relationship to have ‘relationship problems,’” she tells him. “Are we in a relationship?”
He visibly considers this. “I mean, I asked you out, and you said yes. And we never broke up.”
“We haven’t kissed in at least two weeks.”
“Did you want to?”
She takes a moment to think about it. “Not really,” she admits, and his face splits into a grin.
“Not that you’re not still wonderful, Nancy Wheeler,” he says, teeth shining, “but I don’t think I want to kiss you either. Isn’t that weird?”
When they dated in high school, it was like he couldn’t stand being away from her. He spent every moment he could kissing her, wherever he could. Sometimes it felt almost like a performance he put on for the people around them, lifting her up and spinning her just so everyone would know how in love they were. It was stifling at times, feeling like something to prove. Still, it was how he was, so in love he could burst with it.
Now, she wonders if it was always a performance. Maybe they’ve both been on a stage, and neither of them noticed the lights blinding them until now.
“It is a little weird,” she says finally.
“Right?!”
He holds out a hand to shake, the other one firmly in his pocket. God, she wishes she could love him. “Good go, eh Wheeler?” He asks, smile crooked and shaky.
She snorts. “We made ourselves and everyone around us miserable,” she points out. But she takes his hand.
#do u love the colors of the comphet au#nancy wheeler#robin buckley#steve harrington#lesbian Nancy Wheeler#gay steve harrington#stranger things fanfic#stancy but make it the most tense awkward awful decision these two have possibly ever made. out of a lot of awful decisions#blah blah blah smth ab growing up and growing older and wanting a redo for your past mistakes#and wanting to feel the way you did before it all went wrong#but you realize that maybe you were idolizing that past version of yourself that never really existed#and maybe you never wanted it in the first place. maybe you only told yourself you did#maybe it would have gone wrong anyway#i don’t outright say Steve or Nancy are gay in this but it’s HEAVILY hinted at#they’re not ready to admit it to themselves yet. and that’s okay. the world isn’t ending. they have time#*slaps roof of nancy wheeler* this baby can fit so much projection in it#i feel like I need to say I’m not anti-stancy. i actually do like stancy when it’s done well. HOWEVER#i don’t think bringing it back two seasons later in one of the weirdest ways possible is doing it well I’m sorry#Maybe if we get a stoncy make out sesh in s5 I’ll change my mind#*crossing my fingers for a post-monster killing stoncy make out sesh in s5*#the ONLY ship I want to be canon. and the one least likely to happen. it’s so hard shipping polyamory I should watch sense8#why did I go on this rant. idk. enjoy <333
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doing a lot of research into cluster b personality disorders and npd has kind of described everything i've been experiencing for years and it. answers. so many questions . a bit scared of trying to get a professional opinion (for obvious reasons) does anyone have any good resources I could look into?
#miko talkz#this lowkey bc i was like haha i kin inspekta haha inspekta npd haha Oh fuck#BTW THIS ISNT LIKE AN OUT OF NOWHERE THING ive been contemplating some cluster b personality disorder for like#years now but its always always always hard to find resources#funnily enough having a little fit and looking up goro akechi npd lead me to find a lot of resources BY npd people#but id like to look into it more ....#inspekta npd is so real. and relatable in ways i didnt even put together#inspekta first kin tho that was treated with kindness and was allowed to come back down and make up for his mistakes#compared to every other kin which just made me feel like a monster HAHAHAH#''its your fault for kinning antagonists'' yeah well. what if their motivations and inner workings were the only portrayals i could connect#with#made me feel like a monster and evil for like. years. so i felt like i had to reclaim a lot of them. you grow older and you can approach it#with more nuance but its still really frustrating when your symptoms and the more extreme symptoms only ever show up in villains#anyway. enough rambling abt that. its turbulent up here
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i wanted to make a post about a thing but the more i think about it the more i want to say and it's just going to end up being a big ramble essay, so instead i'll just give the thesis statement, thusly:
as the #1 Ratgrinders Apologist (self-appointed), of course they're the final boss fight to the death. i expected nothing less and the people trying to make discourse about it are ignoring the entire context of this being a Dungeons and Dragons game
#they're not playing 'discuss our traumas and and try to help strangers grow: the game'#they're playing 'murder people for getting in our way: the game'#which i know is now me being snubbing about D&D as a game but like. siobhan said it: theyve committed SO much murder#did the lunch lady in episode 2 deserve to be murdered? did the skater dwarves deserved to be murdered?#did the monsters the school sicced on the kids in their Last Stand deserve to be slaughtered like that??#its literally the name of the game!#the two things that are turning this into a bigger essay are 1) me being actually very disappointed in Burrow's End with how the players#just did not want at all to engage with the moral greyness aabria was trying to bring into the story#it was clear that was a direction she wanted to explore and i wanted to see it explored#but even OUT of characters the cast just would NOT engage or acknowledge the validity of that direction#and there was only so much aabria could do without being labeled a killjoy... because D&D often ISN'T a game for reckoning with#the justification of your character's actions! its a game for killing giant bears and saving the town from cultists!!#baked into the foundation of the game conceit is 'you are the hero and you are saving the day ergo your actions are Right and Just'#thing 2) i just listened to that WWW fireside the other day where brennan goes on about how combat does not get in the way#of story in dnd. that whole stove metaphor? and it rankled me so much lol because like aabria finally says after that:#yeah you bring your own food to the stove but when what you've got is a stove. the food you make is GOING to get cooked#combat and fighting and killing is baked into the system from its foundation. acting like D&D or even just d20 (the system)#is a resolution engine that also allows fighting and not a fighting engine that also allows other skills is. wishful thinking i think#and to bring this back to the POINT: of COURSE they're going to kill the rat grinders! because it's fun!#because thats how you resolve conflict in a combat game! straight up i honestly believe a lengthy conversation trying to win the kids over#would have been a weird energy to end the season on! it would have been a let down!#it would have been a huge tonal shift. because the tone you bring to a D&D game is 'killing this is fine actually'#and if you dont like that you /dont/ play D&D. its not a value judgment#i LOVE getting into moral implications and justifications and ive gotta tone it down when i run D&D games because it can kill the vibe#anyway. i said i wasnt going to write the whole essay and im not. but i did write most of the rant oops
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Adam doodles and a lot of Fitch since he be on the mind lately :)
The one done digitally was his og drawing
#Adam can grow out his hair but the real question is when n how long he keeps it around for#Adam#Fitch#art#my art#drawing#draw#monster#creature#doodles#demon#demon boy#demon oc#sketchbook#doodle#sketches
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