#and missing out on a silly wizard

[wizardsix]

people are so weird about why they don't like gale. like ive never seen anyone who has played through his entire story share actual critiques, it's always people meeting him once and deciding his entire backstory, personality, and motivations right there. "he's full of himself/manipulative/incompetent/etc" i am taking psychic damage from how stupid these takes are. if I poured my heart and soul into writing a character and people gave up on them after their introduction you'd see me on the national news

[icewindandboringhorror]

What would you choose? :0c

(note: original image is from HERE (link) - but I edited it to add a wider variety of options.. also added $3 extra to the total, even though I know that makes it more uneven lol, I thought if you're adding 10 whole extra items, the money to spend should at least be increased slightly, if that makes sense..)

[elilelibeli]

Sirius Black discovers magic of a good dress:

“Sirius hurry up” Remus was begging at this point with no success. Sirius was nowhere near ready, or quite frankly even near begging to get ready. He always took long showers, but since he was dreading to go tonight he took his extra time.

“Perfection takes time Moony” Sirius chirped while he helped Remus tie a bowtie. His hands slipped from his neck trailing down slowly.

“Sirius, stop it, it will not work on me right now. We have cancelled three times already, we are going tonight. Please just get dressed, you know I hate to be late.”

“But Moony please It’s such a horrid weather, it’s perfect for staying in, look the bed’s practically calling your name” Sirius purred, draped on their bed, softly patting his hand as an invitation to Remus.

“Oh you are being so bratty right now.” Remus murmured to himself, “You know I would rather stay in too but we can’t reschedule again. We go tonight and it will be over.” Remus pulled Sirius’s arm gently to get him off the bed. “You have 15 minutes.” he shook his head while watching Sirius glaring at him stubbornly. “Come on don’t be a princess” Remus said as he was leaving the room.

Sirius, still half naked stomped to his closet. “Uu Sirius be responsible, don’t be a brat, stop being difficult, blablabla” he was mumbling to himself laced with annoyance as he was scanning his closet to choose something to wear. Suddenly he smirked as if he saw the target he had been long searching for, he quietly chuckled “I’ll show you a princess”

It took Remus to call Sirius the third time for him to finally descend from their bedroom.

Remus’s reaction looked almost animated, as if he had come to a halt. Sirius smirked secretly, as he casually walked to get his boots and a leather jacket from the doorway closet. He did expect a reaction, a surprise, a mild shock even, after all he was wearing a dress, a beautiful dark red dress.

“Come on Moony, we’ll be late” Sirius said sweetly as if he didn’t just manage to break Remus.

“Oh sorry, yes coming, grab the keys will you?” Remus, as if someone had restarted his system suddenly came back to action. Sirius could smell the awkwardness surrounding him.

Sirius was happy, his revenge plan was working perfectly. If he was forced to attend by Remus, he would make him feel awkward and embarrassed with dressing up in a dress. He was suffering, so Remus would have to suffer, it was only fare.

“Is this new?” Remus coughed awkwardly when they got into the cab.

“It’s Mary’s she asked me to grab her dry cleaners the other day” Sirius said casually. “I don’t think she would mind tho.”

“No, don’t think she would” Remus agreed quietly, looking away in the mirror.

They didn’t talk much after, giving Sirius time to think and that was never a good thing, because the outcome was either massive menacing or massive overthinking and how this thought train was going, the spiral was coming his way.

Suddenly he felt stupid. He was such a hothead, just wanting to embarrass his sweet, nice Remus. They were going to go to public and he was sure he would get looks, those weird, sinister looks. Yeah, just like clockwork, he was spiraling.

The taxi stopped, Remus getting off to open the door for Sirius

“Hey, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” Remus asked.

Of course he immediately noticed distress on Sirius’s face, he always knew.

“Sorry..” Sirius mumbled scrunching the fabric of his dress with his nervous hands.

“What for?” Remus asked genuinely confused.

“The dress” Sirius was staring at his feet, “I was so annoyed at you for making me come and I wanted you to suffer like I would be tonight, I saw the dress and I thought I’d wear it to embarrass you, you called me a princess so I thought I’d show up dressed like one to get on your nerves”

“Embarrassed?” Remus looked even more confused somehow, “Why would I ever be embarrassed because of you?, do you think i’d be embarrassed to walk around with you in a dress?” He looked at Sirius.

Sirius was still staring at the ground. “I just didn’t think this through you know.. I just thought..”

“Sirius look at me” Remus said firmly, waiting to look Sirius in his eyes. “Do you like wearing this dress?”

Sirius gazed at the boy, he didn’t really think about how he felt. First, it was just a stupid revenge plan, which quickly turned into an overthinking spiral so in between that he didn’t really have time to think how the dress made him feel.

If he was honest, he did like how he looked, and he felt quite powerful in his dress. The dark red looked really good with his complexion, the shape of the dress complemented his physique perfectly and it went so well with his leather jacket and doc martens. He felt quite good.

“Um.. I think so?” Sirius hesitated “I quite like the color” he mumbled.

“You are right. This color is amazing on you, you look absolutely beautiful sweetheart” Remus smiled at Sirius.

Well Sirius was wearing a dress which apparently made him absolutely beautiful and he was also about to cry.

Remus chuckled, probably noticing Sirius’s my eyes are about to be filled with tears look, “Let’s go inside, yeah?” Sirius could only nod.

The pair made their way to the entrance, Remus’s hand on Sirius’s back. Remus smiling at him, checking in one last time, as they went in.

Sirius was wearing a dress and Remus was next to him holding on like he wanted to show off to everyone that he was here with Sirius, like Sirius belonged in his arms, next to him, like he had won a prize.

Sirius’s plan had failed so miserably.

“I thought I made you upset when you saw me at first, I thought you’d be scared or embarrassed to go with me like this” Sirius said to Remus once they found a moment to each other again.

“What? No..” Remus started to explain himself.

“No worries Moony, it was quite funny you just stopped working there for a sec and you were so awkward all the way here”

“Yes cause I was stunned to see you, you quite literally took my breath away as you walked past me and you did it so casually like it didn’t take all my self control not to jump you right there and then in the hallway” Remus rumbled, pink blush creeping up to his cheeks.

“Oh you really like the dress, don’t you?” Sirius teased, every little bit of insecurity and doubt leaving his body. He felt so powerful at that moment.

“Oh you have no idea” breathed out Remus, “Although, I am planning to show just how much and even though your plan failed tonight, mine will work out so very perfectly” he winked and walked away leaving Sirius with a dumbfounded look and blush the same shade as his dress coloring his cheeks.

[deadmossballz]

guys the way ive been brainrotting abt my own damn dnd characters lord help me

[recallback-art]

I loved SoL, so naturally, I did have to also play West of Loathing. It feels very different and I never quite clicked on my first two runs, but I finally got attached to a character on my third run! He's part boy part cow and the strongest motherfucker this side of Dirtwater.

Bonus doodles of my other two runs. Isaac was just me figuring the game out so wasn't much, and Kai was fully a murder hobo run because the game lets you get truly ruthless. Being evil is fun.

[toestalucia]

april fools events hihi

[lixbf]

honestly the fact that gale got kidnapped is mildly ruining how i wanna play the game bc like. i wanna do all the side quests first and Then get to gortash and orin but like i wanna have gale back? i dont want him to just miss out on so much stuff?? like hes been there since the very beginning and now when hes gonna come back it's already like oh yeah cazador is dead and shadowheart got her parents back no big deal. we got another guy to join our team tgt w his tiny giant space hamster and btw mizora now just hangs out here. oh and we fought and killed ethel again but for real this time.

[chipjrwibignaturals]

yes im a wizard101 fan no i don’t pay attention to the story no im also not hardcore at the gameplay either. i don’t know what im doing

[rackartyg]

contemplating having zan take magic initiate: bard as her feat rather than war caster, because she deserves to have access to vicious mockery

[no-thanks-kindly-fuck-off]

I had to update the tumblr app. How long as it been a silly little wizard worm?

[txttletale]

hey what DO you watch on youtube? seems like you'd have some neat recommendations :3

i really loathe the like super-highly edited sound effect post-mrbeast slop most of youtube is now so i mostly like stuff that's like... calm and sedate. stuff i've been watching lately in no particular order:

northernlion vods and clips. he's an OG. i especially like his react court series, i must have watched all of them like five times.

speaking of OGs i've been watching zero puncutation (now fully ramblomatic) for like ten years and if anything it's only gotten better. best game review content on the internet. been really enjoying his more recent, slightly longer and more thoughtful 'extra punctuation/semi-ramblomatic' series too.

any austin's skyrim unemployment rate videos. instant classics to me, it's just a guy going around in skyrim trying to figure out the unemployment rate in every town. it's a very dry kind of humour, he plays it admirably straight, and it's weirdly calming.

kitten arcader's foot the bill videos. in a kind of similar vein, he watches the saw movies and then produces an itemized bill for everything jigsaw needed to buy to make his traps. it's kind of like... if cinemasins was fundamentally curious instead of fundamentally incurious, it scratches a similar sort of nitpicky detail-oriented quantifying itch but without inimical to the concept of art.

shuffle up and play. it's a magic the gathering play series that has enough editing that the gamestate is actually legible but not enough editing (or at least, not enough obtrusive in-your-face editing) that its annoying. i also like that they reguilarly play non-edh formats like cube and pauper.

spice8rack. i'm pretty picky about video essays but spice8rack has very obviously actually read books and has interesting things to say about the topics it discusses (mostly magic: the gathering). sometimes it has a kind of grating Theater Kid Energy but the fact that it actually meaningfully structures essays and analysis to earn the silly long runtimes is a rare delight from a video essayist.

jenny nicholson is a long-time favourite and another permanent fixture in my rotation. she's just extremely, remarkably funny which makes her the only 'basically just summarizing a thing' youtuber i think is worth the time of day.

i watch some sketch comedy, mainly wizards with guns and aunty donna, who both consistently put out really funny stuff that's kind of ITYSL-adjacent in its barefaced absurdism and contenmpt for concepts like "stopping a joke at the logical punchline". i also really like alasdair beckett-king and binging the old clickhole backlog for short-form comedy on youtube.

wolfeyvgc is right on the edge of the level of editing i find tolerable but as a long-time fan of multiple esports he Has It, he's absolutelyt fantastic at t elling the narrative of a tournament, explaining plays clearly, and generally making competitive pokemon esports thrilling and interesting ti someone (me) who#s never played it and doesn't care about pkoemon that much

i religously watch every elliespectacular/dathings YTP, the absolute best in the game right now, top tier snetence mixing and really good at actually setting up and paying off jokes in a way it feels like a lot of ytp doesn't. verytallbart is also pretty good.

trapperdapper is a channel i recently binged, it's a really fucking funny parody of minecraft challenge content that veers slowly from obvious angles of parody into pure absurdism with tons of blink-and-you'll miss it subtle visual gags.

too much future is a great youtube series where the two guys from just king things/homestuck made this world play through every fallout game and analyze them in that context. extremely funny and also just top-tier very sharp analysis. really good

another one of the rare good video essayists is jan misali. they're really funny and will go into topics that kind of seem narrow or strange to begin with in such depth and make them so interesting that it's consistently astonishing.

oh and finally sarah z makes pretty good videos. 'the narcissist scare' is an absolutely brilliant deconstruction of one of the most annoying pop-psych phenomena of the last couple years. and remarkably well script supervised i think did anyone else watch it and think 'wow the script supervisor on this must have been, a mind geniuse'

ok i think that's all i've been watching lately. hope you like whcihever of these recs you check out :)

[peoplesgraves]

Imagine being a Royal who can’t escape obsession

Yandere Knight who’s been trained for the honor of protecting the royals their entire life. Who’s had any semblance of self beaten out of them instead being filled with nothing but reverence for their favorite. At first their obsession is devoid of romance, solely based on their divine duty to protect you. They’re happy just to stay by your side and content with forgoing their own life in favor of yours. That would all change the moment they actually get hurt protecting you. They expect to be broken just like when they were a kid, destroyed and remade stronger, better for you. Instead you are gentle and kind, you help nurse their wounds and their obsession transitions from one of duty to one of love. No longer content to die for you, now they must live for you, their beloved royal. No matter how many people they have to cut down your knight will never forsake their love.

Yandere Advisor a few years older than you but much much younger than your other advisors. They were a prodigy, groomed from a simple stable hand to the person they were today. Their incredible intelligence, tactical mind and people skills make them invaluable to the kingdom but they find themself laying awake night after night. Not worrying for the people but for you instead. They care not for the opinion of other royals or their peers but only of yours. They view everyone as below them, sure their friendly and compassionate on the surface but below the skin lies a bubbling darkness. Every meeting with you that’s interrupted by some silly problem or royal ball they’re forced to miss due to work, they find their facade cracking. They contemplate abandoning the wretched kingdom you loved, whisking you far far away so they can finally have what they love. For now though they’ll wear their cracked mask and guide you as gently as they can, both in your role as a royal and towards your devoted advisor.

Your families resident Yandere Wizard is a strange creature. Equally out of their mind as they are terrifyingly cunning. They slip between the two states so easily that it’s not quite clear which is their true self, maybe they’re both just hiding what truly lurks below their calculating eyes and outrageous outfits. Despite being perfectly capable of turning whatever enemy crossed their path into nothing more than a pile of dust, they prefer to use their magic in more…joyful ways. Turning your dress into whatever color you fancied at the moment or making flowers appears out of thin air whenever you seemed down. Some may call it a waste of their gift but they knew the truth, knew that nothing was a waste if it was done for love. They turn their tower into an inviting place for you and makes sure you know you’re always welcome, that they’ll always have time for their royal. They contemplate keeping you up in their tower forever and using their magic to bring you bliss until the end of days. They would give you whatever you wanted because all they wanted was you.

A Yandere Witch who’d started as a simple forest witch. Content to live in her small cabin among the trees and animals, only ever going into the royal city when they needed supplies or to sell off potions at the marketplace. Sometimes people would come to them for help with their maladies or to try and observe their strange skills for themselves and usually they’d abide before sending them on their way and going back to their solitude. Lately though their solitude wasn’t the great comfort it had once been. Something was missing or rather someone. They found themself going into the royal city more and more, not just flitting in and out of the market place but becoming a frequent fixture. So frequent in fact that under cover of night and a cloak you’d come to seek them, hearing of their skills on one of your visits to greet the subjects. They indulged you, allowing you to watch their work until the sun starts to peak through the horizon and to their joy you keep coming back whenever you can. They becomes so fond of your company that they consider getting rid of that pesky wizard of yours and offering themself for the royal court instead.

A Yandere Maid and your closest confidant, a fact they very much likes to rub in to anyone who will listen. They’d been raised for this since birth, the knight was raised to protect you sure but they were raised to serve. To handle every tedious, boring or undesirable aspect of your life so you’d never be anything less than content. It was a job they took very seriously, keeping detailed lists of what you liked and didn’t like, paying the shadiest people to vet any new people you came into contact with before you ever met them and of course helping in more normal ways too. Because you trust them so implicitly it’s startlingly easy to get rid of any favors of affection from anyone else, after all you didn’t need anyone else. Only they could take care of you the way you needed, it was their purpose, you were their purpose.

The Yandere Jester is perhaps the least assuming of yanderes. Always joking and smiling and laughing and prodding oh so subtly. Telling you stories of when they were sent to the gallows and their escape even fantastical tales of robbed royals, mysterious murders and other various crimes and misfortunes. Ultimately these were assumed to be humorous fibs from a misguided jester but still some nobles would whisper theories while looking at the jester fearfully, saying they were an escaped madman or perhaps a demon in human form. Truthfully no one but you seemed to like them much, always acting as if they were a rabid bloodthirsty beast and they were, to anyone else at least. To you they were a lapdog, hungry only for your laughter and joy. Eventually their stories get to be less about the past and more about the future, talks of how funny it’d be to steal away their beloved and leave all these silly nobles heads spinning. They don’t sound quite as funny telling that one, but still you smile politely and they love you even more for it.

Yandere Suitors sent from other kingdoms, mostly weaker ones seeking to form an alliance but also a few from stronger kingdoms, even empires who simply had a spare and figured it couldn’t hurt or needed agreements on something specific from your kingdom such as a rare resource. Eventually as more and more suitors came and then refused to return home even after rejection, they ended up as more of an unwanted harem situation. Constantly making and breaking alliances with each other to try and gain favor, flitting around the palace ordering servants around to make sure everything perfect all the time for you. Each trying to be seen as the best spouse for you, dreaming of the day you pick them and send the rest home, in pieces if required. Always whispering gossip in your ear, offering to warm your bed or accompany you out of the palace. Theyd do anything to be your favorite, just one step closer.

Throngs of adoring, Yandere Royal Subjects, even people from the far away villages and outer edge territories make their way to the royal city when you make a grand appearance in town. Cheering and waving colorful flags made from scrap, some huddled in groups giving blessings for your safety and health hoping they’d be extra effective with you so close. Parents hold up their kids as high up as they can hoping you’d bless them through the carriage window as they’d seen you do before. People insist on giving gifts and offering, although not to you directly once the royal entourage passes many march to the castles gates and leave them there, in place for your return. While many have negative views on other royals or monarchy in general, none ever seem to extend to you, their beloved royal. Any citizen led attacks or rebellions to the crown always seem to happen when you’re away and never touch your preferred parts of the castle or castle grounds, the very worst that’d ever happened to you was when a small outlier group raided your room and stole a few things. Those same outliers were later found bled out in the middle of town,in the middle of the day, with absolutely no witnesses. Everyone in town knows what happened of course, justice was served.

Yandere Assassin who was the best, never once caught or suspected for the hundred deaths they’d directly caused, so disconnected from themself and from the world that every new identity and culture they found themself ingratiated in felt just as much like home as anywhere else, nothing felt real or right so what did it matter who they were or who they killed. Not until they were assigned to your kingdom, to your family, did they finally start to understand what it meant to be alive and just how precious life was. Years of blood on their hands hadn’t taught them to live but a week with you and their heart was beating for the first time. They mostly watched from the sidelines, acting as just another servant. They watched how the other royals misuse their power to mistreat the people, each other and most egregiously, you. They watch as the others ignore and placate you, watches as they lie and cheat and subjugate the masses and they’re disgusted. It’s amazingly easy to poison their wine, everyone who could possibly be a threat to your ascension. They know you’ll be upset for a while at the loss of your ‘family’ but they promise to be there for you and now that they’ve taken a permanent position in the castle they’ll have all the time in the world to look out for you.

A local Yandere Dragon who kidnaps you every few weeks or so. Of course the first time you’d been terrified, a huge thundering monster snatches you from your visit to the courtyard and just flies off, with you in its talons. Though once back at their surprisingly not horrible cave, you come to understand them a bit. At least more than any other human had ever bothered to. Some knights from your kingdom had stolen from their horde and they wanted whatever it was back, sure being kidnapped wasn’t great but at least they were negotiating instead of just destroying the place in revenge. They are gruff and unpracticed but ultimately harmless to you and after a guarantee of their stolen treasures return you too are returned home. Though every few weeks the dragon seems to have some new grievance that requires the beloved royal as collateral and in that time they grow to be more and more comfortable around you, their little human. Should your kingdom ever wise up to their trick and try to fight against the dragon for you it wouldn’t be pretty. Last time someone stole from their horde they negotiated, that time, they’d burn the kingdom to the ground and take what was theirs, permanently.

[w1ndarchr]

⋆⁺⋆ ⁺₊⋆ ☁︎ Self-aware!CRK

they waited and waited for so long, where have you been now?

Time flew by, days turned weeks and weeks turned into months and that app you downloaded remained untouched. You almost forgot about it, but then a thought crept into your mind... why not give it a go and open the app for a little while? Who knows what kind of adventure awaits you in there!

soon then as you opened the app, a silly sugar gnome appeared in your screen as they greeted you, attempting to rouse you from your slumber. How adorable! However, you couldn't help but feel a twinge of guilt for neglecting the game for several months.

upon tapping the bubble chat to continue, you were woken up by the sugar gnome. Shortly then, a cookie by the name of Gingerbrave appeared on your screen, extending a warm welcome back greeting and surprising you with various missions and new mails.

The experience of being pleasantly surprised by the cookie's missions and warm welcome evokes a sense of happiness within you. This feeling has reignited your interest in playing the game, reminiscent of the initial excitement you felt upon downloading it. then a,

"Whoah, welcome back!"

exclaimed Gingerbrave with a huge grin on his face. He was positively beaming as he directed his attention towards the exciting quest called 'We Missed You!' story, as you completed the quest, you then let out a small chuckle and just when you thought it couldn't get any better, a surprise gift appeared, accompanied by a warm welcome from Wizard Cookie aswell.

As you delved deeper into the game, a sudden light giggles escaped your lips again, instantly lifting your spirits. It was as if a weight had been lifted off your shoulders, and you couldn't help but think that maybe, just maybe, playing this game more often could be the key to unlocking your happiness again....

as you continued playing the gameplay, it appears that you have failed to take notice or acknowledge the fact that your cookies are watching you with great delight, sporting broad smiles on their faces. They are astounded by your return after all these days and find it to be a most delightful occurrence. The cookies are now eager to capture your attention and bask in your presence.

mainly, Pure Vanilla Cookie is thrilled to see you again! With a huge smile on his face, he knows that you, a human outside of their own world, have returned. Despite being just a silly pixelated character, he is determined to make a difference and show you his worth. He won't give up until he proves himself to be a valuable part of your experience and same aswell for other cookies.

"I-I can't believe it! is it really Baker?!"

"they're back! oh thank earthbread!"

"Our Baker has returned! they have returned!!"

the air was electric with the sound of many voices, all talking with an excitement that was palpable. The crowd had gathered to welcome back their dearest baker, and they were positively bursting with joy. It was clear that they would do anything to spend their lives with this beloved baker, who had captured their hearts.

"Please remain calm, everyone." Pure Vanilla exclaimed, urging everyone to hush up and lend an ear. he patiently waited for their undivided attention, ready to address the situation at hand. Finally, the cookies heeded the king's call and directed their focus towards him. with unwavering obedience, they followed his commands and maintained a hushed silence.

"Now that our dear baker has finally returned, we must celebrate and welcome them!" with a cheerful and enthusiastic tone, he conveyed his message to the audience, announcing the return of their baker and urging them to make preparations to warmly welcome them back.

the roar of the crowd echoed through the stadium as they erupted in a thunderous cheer, their voices rising in unison to create a symphony of excitement and energy. It was a moment of pure joy, as the crowd continued to cheer, it was clear that this was a moment that made the cookies feel so much alive more than before!

The cookies are eagerly planning to celebrate their beloved baker's return, spending quality time with them, and most importantly, doing everything in their power to bring you back into their world.

You were completely immersed in the game for a solid hour, but as fatigue started to set in, you knew it was time to take a break. With a sigh of satisfaction, you exited the app and gently placed your phone on the table. as you stood up, you stretched your limbs and made your way towards the kitchen to grab a bite to eat.

now that you've just returned from a quick snack break, plopped down on your comfy couch, and grabbed your phone. But as you excitedly opened the gameplay, something strange began to happen. glitches started popping up on your screen, causing you to freak out a bit, you managed to keep your cool and reassure yourself that it was just a pesky bug... right?

"That's odd. It's probably just a minor glitch," you reassured yourself as you clicked the start button. Suddenly, your phone screen was illuminated with a blinding white light, but you remained calm for a second. This now freaked you out alot as you began to wonder if this is the end of your phone.

just as you were about to let out a scream, you suddenly found yourself sucked into the depths of your phone, and everything around you went pitch black.

...

As you slowly emerged from your slumber, you attempted to pry open your eyelids, your vision was a bit blurry and couldnt see who was trying to wake you up but all you could think was... a figure of familiar cookie, as you sat up and rubbed your noggin with a slight groan, "what the?..." you couldn't help but wonder if you were still dreaming.

"—ke up... Rise and Shine my dear—!"

The words echoed through your mind, jolting you awake. As you shook off the grogginess, causing a slight disorientation as your sight gradually sharpened. cookie...? wait... Pure Vanilla?!

you can't believe your eyes as you stare at the cookie in front of you. Did it magically appear out of nowhere? Is this some kind of illusion? a prank?! this must be a dream! right?! You blink, hoping to snap out of it. Pure Vanilla extended his hand, ready to help you up. But as you looked at him, your mind was still reeling and you hesitated to take his hand. You tried to figure out what's happening and your heart was racing.

The cookie patiently awaited your gesture to take his hand, as he sought to establish a sense of trust with you. Eventually, you reached out and grasped his hand, allowing him to assist you in rising to your feet.

as you rose to your feet, you couldn't help but take in your surroundings with a sense of bewilderment. everything feels so weird! the sky is normal... you then return your gaze back towards the cookie which appeared to be grinning radiantly.

"a-are you real?" You stammered, your finger trembling as you pointed towards him in disbelief. "t-this has to be some kind of joke... right?" You whispered the final words, feeling as you were about to lose your mind but then Pure Vanilla emitted a slight chuckle and stated, "Oh my dear, don't be silly, this is real indeed and this is no joke. " The cookie spoke in a gentle tone as he patted your head.

what?!... real??... theres no way you're here... could it be possible you're stuck in the game..!? how! just how!?

i literally have this draft saved.💀🏳️

anyways, hope u enjoy ig, bad ahh grammar LMAO

[vivwritesfics]

I have an idea!! Hufflepuff!Lando but with scary Slytherin!Gf privileges Or Slytherin!Max with Hufflepuff!Gf who has scary dog privileges

You have in a Harry potter x f1 chokehold

-🐮

(when i reopen my inbox i'd loooove for more of these requests) (also, for anybody called ingrid im sorry)

YOU GET BOTH!! Starting with the max one:

Jos Verstappen was infamous in the wizarding world. He'd killed an insane number of witches and wizards and tried to kill little Charles Leclerc, the chosen one. But Charles was the reason that Jos had lost all of his power.

One day after this, Charles started Hogwarts at the same time as Max Verstappen, the son of the man that had killed his parents.

Max's welcome into Hogwarts was as expected. They fucking hated him and they weren't shy of hiding it. For his first few years at the school it sucked, but Max got used to it. Let them hate him, he realised. He couldn't give less of a shit.

But there was one person that didn't hate him. She didn't treat him like the monster his father was, the monster he probably was too. She made him feel ordinary, normal. And he loved it.

He loved her.

She skipped into the hall without much of a care, typical Hufflepuff of her. She didn't got to her table, didn't join those at her house table. Instead she went over to the Slytherin table. The other Slytherins didn't much like it, but Max didn't care. If his girl wanted to sit with him, she would.

Nobody would dare stand up to him.

"Hey, Maxie," she said as she slipped into the seat beside him. She kissed his cheek and began reaching for food.

Max wrapped his arm around her and kissed the top of her head. "Are you watching the match tomorrow?" He asked her as she began eating.

She nodded her head and swallowed her food. "Can I borrow your scarf?" She asked. There was no way she was missing a chance to watch Max and Charles race each other for the snitch on the quidditch pitch.

"Of course," Max said and kissed the top of her head again.

They ate together before she had to run off for herbology and Max had charms. She ran after Lando Norris as she saw him walking off and linked her arm through his. "Bob," she said as they headed off to herbology.

"Ingrid." Her name wasn't Ingrid, just like his name wasn't Bob. But they were just their silly little names for each other. "How is the Slytherin boyf?"

She gave him an unimpressed look. "Boyfriend, not boyf," she said as he led the way. "He's okay, though. He's looking forward to the match tomorrow."

"Has anybody given you anymore shit for being with him?" He asked and she rolled her eyes.

"They always give me shit, Lan," she muttered as they walked into Professor Vowles class. "Don't say anything to Max. He'd only lose his shit."

And he would lose his shit if he knew that other students still harassed her for dating him. He'd seen it once before, and he had lost his shit. It was enough to scare the other students away, especially when he was around.

But then when Max wasn't around, the bullying started up again. It fucking sucked, but she tried to not let it get to her.

And then one day, Max saw it.

She was sat on the fountain, waiting for him when they approached. A group of slightly younger Gryffindors. They hated Max more than anybody. "Oh look," one of them shouted. "It's the Verstappen shagger."

She ignored them, turned the other way to look for Max. "Oh, come on, sweetheart," the one at the front of the pack shouted after her. "Just admit it."

"Admit what?" She found herself spitting.

"Admit that you're with him because you're scared of him."

Suddenly, her fist flew out, striking the first Gryffindor on the cheek. "Fuck," she gasped, immediately pulling her knuckles into her chest, cradling them. The Gryffindor stumbled back, clearly surprised.

This was the bit that Max saw. He walked out of the castle just in time to see her fist make contact with the Gryffindor. Instantly Max ran over. "Hey!" He shouted, his voice deep. The Gryffindors immediately looked over, their eyes going wide. "Get the fuck away from her!" He shouted.

The began to scarper, but Max chased after them. "Max! Wait!" She cried as she grabbed a hold of his robes.

He was practically foaming it at the mouth as he turned to her and wrapped his arms around her. "I hate them," he seethed as he pressed his nose against her hair. "I hate all of them."

"It's okay, Maxie," she whispered as she reached up to run her hands through his hair. "Don't give them any more fuel."

She felt him relax against her. But he kept his arms wrapped around her, squeezing her tight. "They all expect me to be like him that they won't give me a chance to be myself. What if they're right, though? What if I'm destined to be a monster like him?"

"Maxie," she whispered and moved out from beneath her. But she still kept his arms around her. "You're not him and you'll never be him," she said. "You're Max. My big, scary, Slytherin boyfriend Max."

[lily-onher-grave]

okay okay okay thoughts/excited ramblings about the wicked movie under the cut bc i've seen it and now i'm insane about it again

let's be real it's kinda hard to fumble the opening number of a musical especially when that opening number is no one mourns the wicked and yet i was still absolutely blown away it was SO GOOD

the lil munchkins running, the singing in the streets, the posters of the witch (side note all the artwork was insanely good and just added so much to the style of oz i feel like) it was all so awesome

NOMTW becomes so sinister and they nailed it

obligatory emotional babbling about glinda standing alone in the crowd as everyone sings 'the wicked's lives are lonely'

before i left for the theater i was like 'take your bets on if i'll cry' and my roommate and i agreed that yeah obviously i would. but what i didn't expect is for ariana's sad face to knock me out in five minutes flat. i was done for

the effigy. holy shit. and handing the torch to glinda. i want to go see the whole thing again just so i can rewatch that scene. my heart still hurts

(also nanny! sort of not really. but i liked the childhood scenes i liked that elphaba had one (1) good thing in her life before shiz)

SHIZ okay shiz honestly shiz was the thing i was most excited for bc c'mon, we don't write about our gothic magic school all the time in fic for nothing. and honestly it was so good. the shots of the whole castle! the library design! the balcony moments and the stairways and just like the layers of architecture and the way morrible could kind of be anywhere at any time. the way it felt so grand and yet so small at the same time. idk man the vibes were good and the set was beautiful

glinda arriving by boat was magical that's all

the way everything dillamond had was tailored to him was fantastic it was so good

actually i want to shout out the library set design again and how it tied into the clockwork theme that never gets fully called out even in the musical but it's still so good

where's my time dragon clock tho

also back up the scene where elphaba loses her temper in the courtyard--when she breaks the relief of the wizard, there's old artwork of Animals behind it and i gasped out loud when i saw it

and that was the first moment i thought 'this is brilliant but i still want an hbo dark fantasy political drama tv show based on the book'

speaking of the dark fantasy political drama tv shows, the Animal meeting!! i'm so glad they put more stuff like that in there

actually as a whole the movie felt more grounded and less comedic than the musical. i think they did a fantastic job of keeping the magic and silliness and charm and wonder of the show while still adding those extra bits of drama and dire circumstances

anyway gelphie fic prank wars trope is officially canon great work everybody handshakes all around. i was cackling (silently. i promise i'm a respectful moviegoer)

the ozdust ballroom being illegal makes so much sense. it being underwater was fucking cool. boq and nessa were actually really great and i usually don't care about them at all during this scene

also i love love love nessa and i cannot wait to see more of her. but showing her multiple times on the sidelines when elphie was being humiliated was such a good choice. the tension between nessa obviously caring for her sister yet always caring for herself more is so delicious and i always want to see it fleshed out more, and i think they did such a good job with her? her and elphaba have sweet moments which i love, and her wanting to be independent and only elphaba really understanding that is so so good. and having her just watching elphaba for so long before finally saying she can't watch. god i can't wait to see her be desperate and selfish and cold in act 2, it's gonna be so good

side note boq also looking upset by elphie being bullied. i miss my brotp man

but let's talk about what's most important: the gelphie dance. because oh my god i started crying all over again. so did elphaba. and glinda wiping her tears i'm dying i've died oh my god

i always get a little bit surprised when glinda seems more head over heels than elphaba. idk why. but ariana's glinda is absolutely more head over heels than cynthia's elphaba and i loved it

(they just. freaking LEFT the party. just zipped out of there as soon as they hugged. glinda was like hmmm i just realized some things and grabbed elphaba's hand and ran off while the night was young. and fiyero stared after them knowing that he stood no chance whatsoever)

also i'm like 72% sure the guys sitting next to me were a couple? and they both cried during the gelphie dance too and it was a very unexpected but very funny moment of solidarity

i say ariana's glinda is more head over heels and i stand by it but elphaba's fond little smile when glinda was pouting about sharing secrets almost made me start sobbing again they're so GOOD they're so CUTE and she is SO heart eyes for glinda immediately!!!

i need to be sedated i swear

popular was adorable 10/10 no notes absolutely nailed it i loved every second

also glinda sitting next to elphaba in class now. my heart <3

after dillamond gets hauled away (again with this being more violent and dark and those moments of drama coming through more in the movie i loveeee) glinda doesn't sit down until elphaba does

also they had several little moments of elphaba looking to glinda and glinda either shaking her head or nodding. they've been friends for 2 days and they're already having silent conversations i love them <3

the poppy spell? was sick as hell????

another seeing of wicked, another complete sense of bafflement as to why fiyero is there

i say this jokingly but the fiyero and elphaba romance really does feel like a product of the early 2000s especially now that it's on screen rather than on stage. idk maybe that's just the lesbian in me talking though

the train design is also sick but we knew that from the trailers

okay look logically yes i knew idina and kristin would have cameos. but i'd been crying on and off and one short day's magic had already taken hold so they caught me completely off guard. it was great

the wizard stuff was really sweet. and while i was hoping for more time put toward shiz and stuff, i do think those moments did a great job of 1) showing how much elphaba just wants to be loved 2) foreshadowing the wizard being her father and 3) laying the groundwork for her briefly considering working with the wizard in act 2, which is a decision that never quiteee feels right in the show

i love that they put more lore into the grimmerie btw. very cool

the hot air balloon was random but fun. i wonder if it'll come up again in act 2

every time. every damn time glinda starts singing in defying gravity i just want someone to end it right there. glinda grabs the broom, it fades to black, and they both lived happily ever after

fuck

defying gravity taking place at sunset because it's at the end of their one short day of happiness

also UM morrible coming up and hugging glinda when she's crying. exquisite emotional manipulation i'm screaming

elphie! seeing! her! inner! child! i loved the baby elphie scenes even though i prefer creepy 'horrors' elphaba always. but seeing her come back was sooooo fucking good

elphaba only ever relying on herself, in the end

glinda's final 'i hope you're happy' took me out, as it always does, as it always should. and reaching out from the balcony? i'm sobbing again

morrible dragging glinda into the darkness while elphaba flies into the sun! someone fucking help me i'm already wrecked by these two

honestly my biggest complaint is that now i have to wait for part two, i want to see the rest nowwwww

[littlejuicebox]

Dadstarion prompt (sorry if I missed the boat on this!) - insecure postpartum Tav, struggling with their new body. Maybe some body worship from Astarion 👀? (Personal experience - I really struggled postpartum with adjusting to my new body, it changed in ways I never even imagined). Thank you and just want to say I love your Astarion 🥰

Adore You

Thanks for your request! Not 100% sure this is what you were looking for, but I already had a mostly finished piece I was working on that definitely fits the body-worship and Tav struggling with her body parts of this prompt. It's smut, though, and when the smut gods bless, I cannot deny their gifts.

Glad you love my Astarion! I adore him. And he adores his Tav. ;)

Summary: You are struggling with your post-partum body. Astarion is here to remind you that he still adores you.

This follows my Dadstarion section of my AstarionxReader series. But no worries, you can read it as a OneShot. Here’s the gist: Astarion is mortal and you have three children together. Gale, named after the Wizard of Waterdeep and the twins. That’s about all you need to know! See my other fics for more info and storylines.

Tags/Warnings: smut with a plot, body image issues, angst w/ comfort, PiV, fingering, oral, light overstim, light daddy kink, breast milk, breast milk drinking, all the depravity i'm generally known for tbh, light creampie kinda?

Word Count: 2.8K

A/N: I'm an unhinged degenerate and no I won't apologize. Also women’s bodies are amazing and can produce life and are beautiful and my Astarion appreciates that about his Tav okay?

“Thank the gods for the nanny,” Astarion says with a dramatic sigh as he enters the bedroom, closing the door quietly behind him, “Gale was about to make me read ‘P is for Peacock’ a third time and I was close to ripping my hair out, darling.” 

You chuckle softly as your husband greets you from where you’re seated at the vanity with a brief kiss and then moves to the small table in the corner of your bedroom to pour himself a goblet of wine. 

“And the twins?” He asks as his eyes watch the red liquid fall into the cup beneath it. He takes a few sips as you speak before setting the cup back down on the table.

“I’ve just fed them not too long ago and now they’re both asleep. Having Winifred to help me get them on the same schedule has been wonderful.” You respond as your husband nods and prepares a second, smaller goblet of wine, which he brings to you.

He settles himself beside you while you finish braiding your hair for bed and hums contentedly, “Perfect.”

Astarion’s hands wrap around your midsection and before you can stop yourself, you feel your body tense under his touch. The silver-haired elf pauses and frowns before retracting his hands, “Do you not want me to touch you, darling? You need only tell me.” 

You sigh and shrug as you finish off the half-portioned goblet in one long drink, mostly to avoid your husband’s gaze,  “It’s not that, it’s— it’s stupid.” 

“Look at me, little love.” He whispers, his fingers coming under your chin as they gently coax you to face him and meet his gaze. He moves forward and presses a soft kiss against your lips before continuing, “I love you. More than anything. You know this. Now, won’t you tell me whatever is the matter so that I can help?”

Your husband waits as you gather your thoughts. It’s complicated, it’s embarrassing. You know it’s silly, and vain, and yet you can’t help yourself. And you aren’t quite sure how to verbalize it all.

“I hate my body.” You finally say, your voice cracking as you speak, and something about finally saying that evil little thought aloud causes tears to spring in your eyes. 

Astarion’s mouth falls open in surprise and then he furrows his brows and quickly wraps his arms around your shoulders, not knowing what to say or do apart from physically enveloping you in his love. 

You continue on, speaking into his neck, sniffling as a few more tears run down your cheeks, “After Gale, I quickly returned to my previous weight. I hadn’t had any stretch marks. But carrying the twins— it’s different, Astarion. And I was expecting it to an extent but I just— I hate my body and I hate the way I look.” 

There is a moment of silence as your husband simply holds you against him, allowing space for your tears. When he speaks, his voice is a soft murmur into your hair, “Not that you should care what I think, but I adore your body, darling. And I love everything about the way you look.” 

You scoff and withdraw from your husband with teary, reddened eyes narrowed at him, “You have to say that.”

“I do not have to do anything,” He retorts, arching his eyebrow in a challenge, “Weren’t you the one that taught me that?” 

When you don’t respond, Astarion continues on, knowing he’s won. He takes your hand in his, gently lifting it to press a kiss against your knuckle. 

“I adore your hands. Which have both slain monsters and soothed our children,” He whispers before trailing kisses up your arm and to your neck where he presses another reverent kiss against those little fang scars. 

“I adore your neck, which once provided me with sustenance I hadn’t known in centuries.” 

Your face is beginning to grow hot under his devoted attention and compliments, and you move to shrink away from your husband, but he gently grabs you by the waist. He leans into you and brushes his nose at the meeting point between your ear and neck as he inhales the smell of your skin. 

“Why are you trying to hide from me, darling?” He asks with a little sulky pout, his chin resting on your shoulder. 

“I’m not, I—“ You begin, but Astarion quickly shushes you. 

“Then just be quiet and let me adore you, hm?” He asks before running his tongue against those fang marks, making you shiver. 

You nod slightly and your husband grins, “Good girl. Now, come here.” 

Astarion pats his lap and you slide to sit upon his thighs, forgetting your finished goblet on the floor underneath your vanity stool. He rests his chin upon your shoulder as the two of you gaze in the mirror together. 

“Do you remember when I used to do this all the time?” Astarion asks, not truly waiting for a response before his long fingers trace down the side of your neck, brush along your collarbone, and then wander toward your waist, aiming to untie your dressing gown. He moves slowly and watches your expression in the mirror, waiting for you to give him any indication to stop. 

But you didn’t want him to stop. Despite your feelings about your body, you still deeply crave your husband’s comforting touch. 

The silky fabric slips down your shoulders and pools around your waist, baring you before his adoring eyes. The elf smiles and presses a kiss to the back of your shoulder, still watching the two of you in the mirror. 

“Beautiful,” He whispers as he peppers a few kisses up your shoulder and the back of your neck, igniting a trail of goosebumps across your skin.

Astarion slowly drifts his hands up your sides before moving to cup a heavy, milk-stretched tit in each hand. The sensation causes you to wriggle. 

His tone is reverent, almost a whisper as he turns his head just slightly and flashes a toothy grin, his lips brushing against your ear as he speaks, “I adore your breasts, which have fed our eldest and now feed our twins.”

He chuckles salaciously before saying the next part, “And which, on more than one delicious occasion, have also fed me.”

Your husband lightly teases circles around your nipples as he finishes the line that he knows will cause you to blush and then gently nips at your ear lobe, earning him a gasp. You feel Astarion’s arousal pressing into your backside as he continues to caress your breasts and uses two fingers from each hand to tease and stimulate your nipples. You arch into his touch and your thighs press together as you feel a growing slickness between your legs from his attentions. 

One of your breasts begins to leak milk, and when your husband feels the warm liquid dripping onto his fingers he hums and brings the digits to his lips. You watch in the mirror as Astarion dips the two fingers into his own mouth and licks them clean while continuing to tease your other breast. 

It isn’t long before that one begins leaking, too, and your lover chuckles in delight as he watches the liquid gold trail down the bottom of your breast and languidly drip down your stomach. 

The elf brings two fingers to slowly swipe up the stream of white liquid. Then he brings those same fingers to your lips, prompting you to open your mouth.

“Good girl,” He purrs before pressing those two digits against your tongue. Astarion lingers for a moment and you shut your eyes as you eagerly wrap your lips around his slender fingers and suck. You hear a little hum by your ear and feel your lover’s cock twitch in delight underneath you as he observes the scene.

“You are a vision, love.” He murmurs, as he slides his hand away from your lips, “Now, let me take care of you the way you deserve.”

The elf gestures for you to stand, causing your robe to completely slide off your body into a pool on the floor, before he quickly spins you and then hoists you onto the vanity desk. The smallest flicker of that arrogant rogue dances across his face as Astarion moves forward to dip his tongue into your mouth. He unhurriedly teases your tongue against his as he roams his hands up and down your torso until you're panting and moaning softly into his mouth. 

When he retracts, his pupils are filled with lust. His hands come to quickly pull his shirt over his head and then undo the laces of his trousers. Before long he’s standing in front of you in only his small clothes. 

Astarion grabs your hand and guides it to the bulge straining between his legs as he asks, “Do you feel what that divine body of yours does to me, little love?” 

“Yes– my love, I want–” You begin as you eagerly try to delve your hand inside your husband’s undergarments, desperate to free his gorgeous cock. But he catches your wrist and stops you with a soft tut and a playful glint in his eyes. 

“Soon. But not yet, darling. I haven’t quite finished adoring you yet. And I’ve got the best seat in the house.” He teases, before settling himself back onto the vanity bench and grinning mischievously up at you, “Now, be a good girl and open those beautiful, plush thighs of yours for me, won’t you?” 

You oblige, and Astarion takes a moment to admire you, fully barren to him and already soaked with arousal. His arms come under your knees, spreading you wider for him, as he grips your thighs with his hands. Then he turns and begins pressing tender kisses up your thigh. He makes slow work of the task, humming contentedly on his journey toward your sex and always lingering longer in the spots where you’ve developed stretch marks. 

By the time his face is right in front of your mound, you’re positively leaking for Astarion and he groans appreciatively at the sight. 

“Beautiful. I will never tire of seeing that gorgeous cunt dripping for me, darling,” He murmurs and before you can respond, your husband is delving his tongue between your folds and eagerly feasting upon your juices. 

You moan in delight when Astarion brings his tongue to trace around your clit, so familiar with your preferences that it doesn’t take long for him to coax you toward your peak. His tongue dances expertly around the swollen nub, each pass causing your pleasure to build. Two of his long, pale fingers slide into you, meeting no resistance, and he slowly pumps the digits in and out of your walls. 

You grasp onto Astarion’s curls and whine when he adds a third finger, and he knows you’re close, so he continues his ministrations and adds more pressure as he curls his fingers just so. His other hand comes up to find your nipple and tease it between his fingers as you climb the final steps toward your climax. 

A final flick of Astarion’s tongue, a final stroke of his fingers, and you burst with pleasure, whining in delight as your thighs tremble on either side of his head. Your walls spasm and send another gush of arousal onto the elf’s face. You begin leaking breast milk once again. 

“Delicious,” Your husband murmurs as he pulls back slightly to admire the glistening of your sex and then presses forward and takes one more lap of your sensitive folds, causing you to buck into his mouth as he chuckles against you. Astarion languidly runs his tongue up to your stomach, lapping at the thin rivulets of milk running down your torso and covering his face in a shiny layer of your juices and breast milk.

Then he stands to his full height and finally— finally— steps out of his small clothes. His pale cock springs proudly from its confinement, dripping thin strings of pre-come from the reddened tip, just for you. 

“Get over here, Astarion,” You eagerly demand, voice hoarse from your cries as you hook your legs around his torso and pull him against you. 

“Anything for my little love,” Your husband responds, voice full of gravel as he runs the underside of his cock against your slit, using it to lubricate his length. 

And then the head of his cock presses into you and your mouth falls open as Astarion buries himself to the hilt. His thumb comes to lightly tease your still-tender clit as he slowly rocks his hips back and forth. He’s watching your face intently as he thumbs circles around that needy, engorged bundle of nerves. 

You use your legs to pull the elf deeper and he grins before lowering his head so that it’s right by your ear. He takes the lobe in his mouth and suckles gently, causing you to whimper.

“You’ll do one more for me, won’t you darling? You always look so gorgeous when you do.” He coaxes, his mouth so close to your ear his breath tickles the sensitive flesh. And then he’s pitching his hips just slightly, aiming to hit your favorite spot with the tip of his cock. He’s gasping and grunting now as his own need for release starts to overpower him.

You’re almost there. You’re keening with each thrust from Astarion and your walls are clenching tighter and tighter around his cock. 

He moans in response at the sensation before pressing his thumb harder against your clit and rubbing it with single-minded intensity, working you toward release. You begin to relentlessly whimper again and Astarion smiles, his eyes locked onto yours as he watches your face contort in the feeling of immense pleasure.

 “There you go, little love. Let go for daddy.” He whispers, bringing his other hand to palm the ample flesh of your ass. 

And gods, you do. 

The second orgasm ripples through you harder than the first, and you have to clasp your hand around your mouth to stifle your moan. Your walls are pulsing around your lover’s cock as you ride the wave of ecstasy.

You go almost slack and before long Astarion is ripping your hand away from your face and pressing his lips against yours in a bruising kiss as he begins to rut wildly into you, shaking the vanity with every thrust. 

“Gods, the things your body does to me,” He growls as he pulls away from your lips, snapping his hips at a punishing pace as he chases his own release. Astarion’s hand is clutching firmly into your bottom, gripping so tightly there’s sure to be bruising tomorrow. His curls fall in front of his face and his ears begin to turn red as he continues to fuck you into oblivion.

Your husband is trying with every fiber of his being to hold on, to stretch out the delicious sensation of his cock plunging in and out of your walls, but every stroke into your tightness is pushing him further and further towards his peak. He snaps his eyes shut, shaking with the effort it’s taking him to restrain himself, to continue enjoying the feeling of your flesh gripping around his.

You are so thoroughly fucked that you cannot do anything but hold onto your lover and keen underneath him as he continues pounding into you.

 “Darling— hells — my love, you’re so tight, I can’t— I’m—“ 

And then with a sudden, sharp inhale of breath, Astarion is burying his thick length inside your walls and trembling as his cock twitches, relentlessly releasing its spend. He gasps into your ear as he slows his hips, but continues to rut, using his still-hard length to press his seed deeper into you. 

His praises come out in an incoherent string as he continues to languidly rock his hips back and forth. You cup his face in your hands as you kiss him, and Astarion smiles into the kiss, finally stilling his hips as his cock softens between you two. 

“Come here, little love.” He whispers, hooking his arms underneath you. You intuitively wrap your legs around your husband’s torso and he easily carries you to the bathroom. When he finally places you down, he brushes a few strands of hair from your face and then places a tender kiss on your forehead.

“Now let’s get you cleaned up.” He says, turning to start the tap before tossing a glance over his shoulder and chuckling lightly, “And then I have to fix your braid, dear… I’m sorry to tell you that I ruined it.” 

“I think you might have also bruised my ass,” You respond, turning to flash your bottom at Astarion. 

He drops down on his knees to examine the curve of your ass, one nimble finger brushing against the blooming blue marks. You let out a little whine in response, the flesh still tender. 

Astarion presses his lips onto the bruise and lingers for a moment. Then he pulls away and frowns slightly, eyes glossing across the marks before he looks up at you and says, “I’m sorry, darling.”

“It’s okay,” You respond, glancing back to grin over your shoulder. You see your husband peering up at you, the picture of devotion, “I enjoyed it.” 

“Did you, now?” He asks with an amused smirk, his eyebrow cocking in that signature arrogant way of his. 

You nod just slightly as he places another kiss against those little bruises. His hands travel up your thighs, brushing against the wetness dripping from your sex and onto your legs. Two fingers tenderly stroke between your drenched slit. 

“Hmm, and what do we have here, little love? Is this something else that needs cleaning? Won’t you let me take a look?”

You blush but oblige anyway, leaning forward over the counter and exposing your sex, leaking with Astarion’s seed and your arousal. 

He grins and licks a long strip between your folds, causing you to buck slightly and whimper at the stimulation on your still-sensitive cunt. 

“Too sensitive? Want me to stop?” He asks gently from behind you, one hand wrapped around your thigh.

“No, keep going.” You urge him, bending forward to further reveal yourself to him, eager to feel his skilled tongue pressed into you once more. 

A small groan of appreciation from your husband is all you hear before he delves his tongue back between your legs, working to clean up the mess he made. 

The bathtub overflows and spills water onto the floor before he’s done adoring you. At least for tonight.