#and meet david valentine!

[nokingsonlyfooles]

Oh God. David Heard There's Room Service In Hell!!

Once again, I am testing my drawing ability by NOT doing any of the MANY illustrations I need, but I would've been sad if I couldn't finish an illustration. And look! I made it! I CAN DRAW! (And collage, obvs not my suitcase or BG, but all Public Domain)!! Well, my stylus needs a new battery, BUT, IN THEORY, I CAN DRAW! It's low res like all my test images, and I don't think I'm gonna put Vivziepop out of business anytime soon, but I'm fond of it.

That's why I'm so sad that it'll NEVER EVER HAPPEN. As a storyteller (albeit an obscure one) let me elucidate...

Strictly in terms of narrative viability, David hails from an incompatible universe. For an Invisible, he's middling. The Compelling Voice he's so fond of seems to be standard-issue, he's just more of an asshole about using it. In Tin Soldier and Soldier On, he's not all that hard to beat. Some people even have a natural immunity! He's only a threat in the first place because nobody knows what he can do.

But the minute he rolls up to the Hazbin Hotel, not only does nobody know what he can do, nobody has that natural immunity, and it would be hard as hell (haha) to beat him with their combat-friendly magic system. David isn't doing that Capcom-esque "freeze the enemy for a few seconds while they're looking at it" hypnosis. He's issuing unbreakable commands. If you're not deaf, the only way to beat him is to forget what he said. And that seems like it would be difficult, if not impossible, for most of the cast. Alastor certainly won't stoop to inflicting head trauma or hypnosis or amnesiac-levels of liquor on himself.

And that MIGHT not be a problem, except as soon as Dave meets Al he's gonna go from zero to nemesis in about three seconds flat. "Hmm, let's see. Neat freak, carefully-curated personality, perma-smile, never a moment's weakness... That's a pathetic little traumatized man-baby and I'm going to pull him out of his shell if I need to use a crab fork!" And, canonically, Alastor is also willing to make enemies that quickly. David has a sense of humour and no sense of self preservation, combat tentacles and veiled threats ain't gonna do it. Round one, David's gonna mop the floor with the Radio Demon.

...And by that, I mean he'd stuff Alastor into one of Niffty's frilliest little outfits and literally make him mop the floor, and even Charlie encouraging him to be a better person wouldn't get him to quit. Also, he'd be ignoring her and bending over backwards to get Angel's attention.

"Oh, listen. The man is over one hundred years old with zero interest in one-night stands or whirlwind romances. Prohibition isn't a thing anymore, drinking and dancing just doesn't cut it. Give him a chance to develop a fetish for something a little bit taboo..."

"I̸̠̤̐̄̄ ̸͕̝͙̌A̸̪̅M̴̭̰̙̎̓ ̶͓̻̐̉L̷̹͕̍I̷̯͗T̷̫̄Ȩ̶̾̋R̴̝̥͒A̷͔̩͋̃̕Ļ̵͗͜L̶̘̈́Y̵͇̓͗̂ ̴̼̪̘͠Ā̷̠̽̆ ̶͍͓̊̉C̷̣͕̺͆̃͝A̵͙̾̅N̶̥̬̮̄N̴̤̯̬̒̉̚I̴̩̜̍B̷͈̪̩̄À̴̝̦L̶̪͂͛͗!̶̟̆"

"That's not a fun night out. It's barely even a meal, what with the garbage they're feeding people these days. I imagine everyone tastes like a fucking 'Cool Ranch Dorito.'" [while making quote marks with both hands] "Isn't he from Louisiana? They invented spicy! Tell me, my deer fellow, is the cross-dressing and domination lighting up any dials?"

"Ì̴̗ ̶̧̫͓͋W̵͜͝Í̸̗͋L̴͔͆̊̌L̴̨̜͚͂ ̸͈̤́Ḱ̵̳̩͜Í̷̘̾L̶̨̫̬̉͋̌Ļ̵̱̗͐͊ ̴̧̣͊̄̈́Y̴̛͖̺͓̓̐O̶̢̦̍̀U̷̠̞͇̎ ̷̨̛̮̭I̷̙̜̽N̸̘̣͙̆ ̵̞͑͝Y̷̰̭̽O̷̟̘̹̓Ủ̶̢̏R̷͉͑̄̀ ̷̧̧̤̎Ŝ̶̱͈̃L̵̰͋Ȅ̸̜̗̙̊̍E̷͇̦̒P̷͈̝̅̆͌.̴̡͈̅͑̓͜"

"My good man, I have unlimited access to drugs and a fun new activity, WHY WOULD I SLEEP? What shall we try next? Do you have any drugs, Angel? Oh, of course you do! Do you think he's more of an upper or a downer person? I think a few muscle relaxants might loosen up that permanent rictus of social anxiety, but God only knows. You must be smoking a crate of cigarettes a day! Do you even brush? Your teeth, I mean. Do you suppose those lovely people at Lourdes make a mouthwash...?"

And Charlie would say, clasping her little hands, "Okay! What if we make some popcorn and talk about our childhood traumas? Yaaaay!"

But David would, inevitably, pass out. Most likely after binging and doing untold damage with Angel. And Alastor would kill him... And that's where we have the biggest fucking plot problem of all. Alastor's go-to method of disposal is tearing people to pieces while broadcasting it on the radio. And it seems like their screaming continues for quite some time, perhaps eternally.

I have expressed this in song form, because I have a weird brain and I couldn't resist.

Wait, wait, nevermind the eternal torment. Can these little hellions hear me? Test, test, is this thing on? Pardon me, could you quiet down a bit? I have a few things I’d like to… Will you stop screaming? Ugh. EVERYBODY SHUT UP AND LISTEN RIGHT NOW! That’s better. I have a little message for my executive producer. Well! I say! Colour me startled, you fulfilled your vow Think you’ve won? But I’ve barely begun! I’m always looking for new fans to wow Can you hear me NOW? [aside] Will you screamers sing backup if I command it? Can I get a little harmony? (We… can’t help ourselves?) I am eternal, and guess who’s just boosted my signal So I can reach all of you lovely new people? (We can’t help ourselves!) It’s your own Radio Demon! What was he thinking? (We can’t help ourselves!) What was he drinking? Ha! His dial must be twisted! Now I’m serenading the damned for my infinite span All according to plan! Am I a madman or a genius? I’m a pianist! Take that, FCC I’m a wonder, your saviour Please excuse my rude behaviour, (but the demon sure done fucked up!) Think he did me a favour? Silence my vocals? A failure! I’m louder and I’m certainly braver So crank the signal to the noise, and enjoy my compelling voice It’s nice to have all these new toys, (but our deer friend is annoyed) A Spirit of Radio beats a demon blow for blow This Invisible is crackling on the air! Well, one does like to believe Though you’re stuck, I’m almost free! That’s what you think! Your weak signal can’t compare Though you’ve had a little fun Your broadcast is done, and it’s time for your payback I’m in control Too bad you atomized my soul! … Not this attention-starved, brandy-addled, overgrown twink Guilty! What could be more absurd? A plagiarist bird Tweety-pie can’t even sing, his theft is pitchy You call that bitchy? I’m afraid that’s not entertainment! You're looking for a new twist? Then let’s remix the arrangement! Is Al as stiff as he projects? What sorts of kinks do you suspect? I’ve seen lacy details with my very eyes! He lies! And if I Tiked a Tok or two Well, there’s nothing he can do! A V̷̰͖̉̂͝İ̶̙D̵̛̻̮̙͛̕E̴̼̱̕Ŏ̷͆ͅ?̷̗͎̞̏̅! If I did, you can’t delete it That's the truth! When I find you in here, Ÿ̴͕̚Õ̸̠̝̕Ů̵̩̹Ŕ̸͔ ̸̬̋̂̔͜T̸̮̙͌̕Ő̵͔͕̑̄R̵̩̣̅͌̌͜M̷̝̹̾̏Ĕ̶̦͕̟Ň̶̮͊Ṱ̷̲̈̔̈ ̵̡̹̟̑Ẅ̷̝́͝I̷͉͋ͅL̴͎̞̎L̶̯͓͑ ̵̬͐͐͝Ḅ̸͚̬̅Ẹ̴̎̿͠ ̴̻͉̲̐̈́͠N̵̖̟̤͑̽E̴͙͎͘V̸̡͕̦̾̕Ė̵̝͈̀Ŕ̴̺-̸̡̱̇̾̉E̴̠̣̊̐̋Ń̵͔̬̝̑D̴̡̬͙̓İ̴͔͋͊N̸̞̙͐̒Ĝ̷̼̺̐͆.̸̤̭́̐̅.̸̰̓͝.̷̤̬̌ #MaidioDemon is trending! Y̴̼̿͆O̶̟͇͊̏͜Ǔ̸͈ ̴̨̫͘I̷̡͓̜̍̈́̽N̸̜̩̉̄͝S̵͚͈̭̅̓Ĩ̸̢̯͇͘Ṗ̶̩̭̦I̴̱͑D̷̨͖̚ͅ,̴̥͕̌̈̾ ̸̛̳̈́Ṭ̶̢̠͒Ė̸̱̼̕C̸̙̥̈́H̵͓̠̔̀N̷̖͝Ǒ̶̬Ć̶͔̃͘Ř̶͙͍͠Ä̴̟́̊T̴̳̉̊͜I̶̞̓͝C̵̢̨̲͐̇̎.̵̼̏͋.̷͎̆ͅ.̸̘̜̒ Darling, please, you’re lost in static One thing’s clear! You must be wishing that you took the L, you poor deer Say farewell. I’m very grateful that you gave me Hell Oh, this will be swell! [Vivziepop, distantly:] Fuck!

"Stayed Gone" is a patter song and I can't keep up with it as I read it, but I think the lyrical parts scan, at least. A-heh. Please excuse my hubris, but it's doubtful anyone will see this.

Of course, I would never torment someone with arguably GNC-phobic revenge porn, but that guy IS NOT ME. Your only hope for dealing with David is if Vaggie decides he's more of a threat than an amusement and straight up kills him, and that's not a plot, that's a cul-de-sac. So this little not-a-fic is all you'll get from me about this unsustainable situation.

...Alright, I might put Alastor in a maid outfit if anyone cares, but I really should be illustrating. I have precisely 13 to do before I can post more story! Unless I decide to post it anyway!

All apologies to Vivziepop, whom I've name-checked as one of a few creators I'd sell out or saw off my leg to work with. But - although I am tempting fate - prrrobably no one will see this. I'm just doin' a little practice and amusing myself.

Right, Tumblr?

[rosedavid]

Everything’s Coming Up Rose

Patrick meets David while they're shopping for Valentine's Day cards.

| David x Patrick | T | 1,668 words |

[infin1ty-garden]

୭🧷✧˚. WALTER (ALIEN) FIC RECS

Walter is engineered as a reformed synthetic, after the David 8 model was deemed "too human". Walter is assigned to monitor and maintain the Covenant, a colonial vessel carrying couples in suspended animation to Origae-6.

other fic recs.

✧. ┊ NO SURVIVORS IN LOVE while spending some downtime with walter while en route to your ship’s next drop off, you are caught off guard by a peculiar question: how does one know when they’re in love? by @chaostheoryy

✧. ┊ PLEASE you can’t die. please don’t die. TW: mention of blood & gore by @the-monkeies-girl

✧. ┊ YOU MAKE ME FEEL (BRAND NEW) being partner-less on the covenant, walter keeps you company and grows attached by @blissfullylostinarabbithole

✧. ┊ HEADCANONS just a bunch of headcanons of walter by @beeslibrarycorner

✧. ┊ VALENTINE'S DAY valentine’s day wasn’t celebrated in space, that’s what your crew leader said during the morning meeting after everyone had breakfast. it was a boring meeting and every time you looked at walter you saw his mouth quirk up at you. you didn’t expect him to do what he did for you throughout the day…. by @beeslibrarycorner

divider by @enchanthings

[trash-gobby]

Ultimate Masterlist

Here is where you will find all the stories I've written along with each fandom as a header. If there are any new or old stories they can be found here. The old inventory system I had is dead. This will be the home of all content I've written or created from now on.

Fandoms

Action/Adventure

🔫 James Bond 🔫

Happiness Is a Warm Gun 🔞

All The Time In The World - *NTTD SPOILERS* 

Dario X GN!Reader - Yandere Headcanons 🔞

Dario X SadisticFem!Reader Headcanons 🔞

Drama

🏏 Heather's 🏏

Jason Dean - Yandere Headcanons 

Veronica Sawyer - Yandere Headcanons 

Horror

👽 Alien Franchise 👽

Bishop Headcanons

Bishop Headcanons - His friendship with the Colonial Marines 

First Snow on Earth 

How They Would Play Sims 2 & 4

Lance Bishop Fluff Alphabet

Dallas & J.M. Lambert Dating Headcanons

Colonial Marines W/ Virgin Reader 🔞

Scott Gorman NSFW Alphabet 🔞

William Hudson NSFW Alphabet 🔞

🎭 Behind The Mask 🎭

Leslie Vernon X GN!S/O who’s Jealous of Taylor

🎄🩸 Black Christmas 🩸🎄

Billy Lenz X Short Gothic GN! S/O

Harry Warden & Billy Lenz X GN!Reader with Short Coiled Hair

Billy Lenz X GN!S/O - Who Hides Gifts Around The House For Him To Find!

Jess Bradford - Fluffy Dating Headcanons w/ Trans Masc!S/O

🚶The Boy 🚶

Brahms X AFAB!Reader who is overly protective of him P1

Brahms X AFAB!Reader who is overly protective of him P2

Dating Brahms Headcanons (Possessive Brahms)

Brahms X GN!Reader - Trying to Leave The House 🔞

🚀 Farscape 🚀

Moya Crew w/ Artistic S/O

🪱 The Faculty 🪱

Zeke Tyler Dating Headcanons

🚑 Flatliners 🚑

Nelson Wright X AFAB!Reader Meet at a House Party

Nelson X GN!Reader - Cuddling For The First Time

🐺 Ginger Snaps 🐺

Ginger X Fem!Reader SFW & NSFW Headcanons 🔞

Ginger Fitzgerald Headcanons 👋

🎃 Halloween 🎃

Michael with a physically & verbally affectionate s/o

Michael Myers GN!S/O with Separation Anxiety

🔥 Hellboy 🔥

Poly!Hellboy & Liz Sherman X GN!Reader Headcanons

A Long Hard Day

Nuada X Agent!Reader Headcanons

⛓️ Hellraiser ⛓️

Pinhead - Hellraiser: Headcanons

💄Jennifer's Body 💄

Jennifer Check X Male!Reader

🦇🩸Lost Boys 🩸🦇

∞ When You’re a Stranger ∞ - Chpt. 1, Chpt. 2

When did Max get Thorn???

David - General Headcanons

David - Fluff Alphabet

Dwayne - Headcanons

Dwayne - Fluff Alphabet

Laddie - Headcanons

Marko - Headcanons

Paul - Headcanons

Descending Angel - part one, part two

♊ Malignant ♊

Gabriel May X GN!S/O - Who Writes Him Gothic Love Poems

🥀⚰️ Mortuary ⚰️🥀

Flowers For a Grave - Paul Andrews X Fem!Reader

❣️My Bloody Valentine ❣️

Harry Warden & Billy Lenz X GN!Reader with Short Coiled Hair

Harry Warden W/ Pregnant S/O

🦇🕶️ Near Dark 🕶️🦇

Severen Van Sickle X Pinup!Reader

Severen Van Sickle NSFW Alphabet🔞

👹 Nightbreed 👹

Dr. Decker X POC Plus Size!Reader Headcanons 🔞

Decker X Plus Size POC!Reader - Darkness Is A Stitch Away

📸 🔪 Scream 🔪 📸

Billy Loomis X Fem!Reader - Comforting her after losing someone close to her

Poly!Ghostface Finding Out Their Girlfriend is Pregnant

🚲 Stranger Things 🚲

Wipe Out

Eddie Munson - Fluff Alphabet

🥩🪝 Texas Chainsaw Massacre 🪝🥩

Christmas dinner with the Sawyer's

🌌 The Thing 🌌

R.J. MacReady NSFW Alphabet 🔞

Assimilation - Palmer X GN!Reader

Palmer - Headcanons

Science Fiction

👽💅 Earth Girls Are Easy 💅👽

Mac - Fluffy Dating Headcanons

🦖 Jurassic Park 🦖

Dating Ian Malcolm Would Include

🌠 Star Wars: The Old Republic 🌠

Two Bounty Hunters Walk Into a Guild Meeting

Superhero

☔ Umbrella Academy ☔

Luther Hargreeves X Fem!Reader - NSFW & Dating Headcanons 🔞

Fantasy

✨ Legend ✨

Wicked Game 🔞

🌊 Legend of Korra 🌊

Korra Dating Kuvira's Sibling Headcanon's

[poedays]

Some Headcanons I have for the listener characters for Redacted/Castle Audios (for funsies):

Castle - Ranger, Seer, Knight, Sugar, Dewdrop, and Dear/Bud

Redacted - Angel, Babe, Sweetheart, Tank, Lovely, and Honey

Castle:

Ranger:

- Looks like the phrase ‘ladies and gentleman’.

- Owns a pair of docs but stopped wearing them because they hurt their feet.

- Has a vintage Hindustan Contessa car in a beige colour.

- > has one of those fluffy dice decorations because Isiah gave them one for Christmas.

- >> they took it down after getting their memories back.

Seer:

- Has grey-ish blue eyes and when they use their powers they flash a bright white.

- Framed a piece of paper with Beth’s work signature on it and hung it where she pushed them against a wall in their house.

- Likes really big dangling earrings but can’t wear them for long otherwise they give Seer a headache.

- Tristan asked Seer to see into his future but instead of something cool, they saw him tripping over his own untied shoelaces.

Knight:

- Has an ‘I love my lesbian sister’ T-shirt, and Claire has a matching ‘I love my ally brother’. (Can be queer sister, ally sibling, or literally any matching queer shirts - I just thought it was fun).

- Is totally into Evie biting them and liked the thought before she was turned into a vampire.

- Knight never walks in front of Claire when the two are walking together, only beside her or behind her. They’re scared she’ll disappear again.

- Being introduced to people as ‘Knight’ gives them a confidence boost every time.

Dewdrop:

- Would own a pet snake.

- > Would call it something either ridiculous or super serious.

- >> “This is my little boy: Sir Serpent Snake-Sir the third”. Or “That’s Bob.”

- Chloe has a birthmark on her thigh that they love to kiss.

Sugar:

- Had a favourite jacket they were wearing before getting turned with a bunch of pins and patches on it -> but it was covered in blood stains after they were attacked and now they never wear it.

- > Their turning was a full on attack that was very bloody.

- Looks 20 but is like 98

- Is such a Valentine’s Day snob and would either proclaimed it’s a false holiday made to make profit from love, or they’d be 100% into it and go wild with roses and wine. (Basically they’d either be Damien or Huxley when it comes to Valentines).

- Saw Liza when she was a high school student but only has a vague memory of it so they can never place where they’ve seen her from before.

Dear/Bud:

- Has Heterochromia, left eye is blue and the other is brown. Totally doesn’t symbolise the two different characters that they’re involved with. Totally.

- Has GAD and takes medication for it, but prefers to have Rose in their head sometimes to help their overwhelming thoughts.

- Monster energy drink addict (Abby got them into them) it is not good for their anxiety (Rose would much rather they drink tea).

Redacted:

Angel:

- Likes to bake but forgets to set a timer, then forgets there’s something in the oven and has almost ended up burning the house down -> David has banned Angel from using the oven when he’s not around.

- Tried and failed to get their driver’s license five times.

- Has a tattoo sleeve with little Animal Crossing and Minecraft references mixed in there.

- Romanced either Sebastian or Shane in Stardew Valley.

Babe:

- Is an only child but has a younger step-sister they see on holidays.

- Likes to carry Asher around sometimes -> wears light and layered clothing so you wouldn’t assume they have muscles but actually have quite a bit.

- Makes Asher little packed lunches for when he has pack meetings and they’re not going.

- Is dyslexic, and needs glasses, words don’t like to word for Babe.

- Has painted Angels nails on numerous occasions.

Sweetheart:

- To empowered people they have tattoo like white marks on their collarbones and under their eyes (Stealth things (also can choose to show them, so people can’t tell right away)).

- Needs reading glasses.

- Has phased in their sleep and woken up above the blankets somehow?

- When they panic they cloak and uncloak really quickly so it kinda looks like they’re teleporting.

Tank:

- Has a bunch of siblings (Tank is towards the older end of the lot) and was heartbroken when they all moved away and none of them chose to stay with them in Dahlia.

- Easily sunburnt.

- Tried to count Sam’s freckles once without telling him what they were doing and kinda just stared at him while gradually getting closer. Eventually they ended up getting his shirt off to count more of them, and Sam just sat there flustered and confused.

- Has 100% played ‘Save a horse (Ride a cowboy)’ to serenade Sam.

Lovely:

- Their hair has started to turn white from stress.

- A lot of their hair was muddy and bloody after getting captured by Adam, so the morning after they were saved Vincent helped them chop off bits that couldn’t be salvaged.

- Used to think their brown eyes were boring but after they turned they miss their old eyes every time they look in a mirror.

- Is absolutely amazing at board/card games.

- > Somehow always wins Game of Life even through it’s pretty much a game of chance.

- > Got Sam, Vincent and Tank to play Monopoly with them and all three were bankrupt within half an hour.

- > Also dabbles in chess.

Honey:

- Works from home most days and has an office with a ‘No Guy Allowed’ sign on the door.

- For Guy’s birthday one year Honey learnt how to crochet and made an amazing sweater with a bunch of granny squares specific to Guy’s interests. Honey is all embarrassed about it because they know where all the little errors are but Guy loves it to death.

- Has picked up Guy to move him out of their way.

- Also plays Stardew Valley sometimes and is like five years in but hasn’t married anyone.

- > Has high hearts with the Wizard.

Thanks for reading! I’ve got more Redacted/Castle rambles on my blog. ❤️

[theunderestimator-2]

“Oh, to be young. To still be one's own hero.” (David Guterson): the late Marilyn Dean & Kathy Valentine, drummer & guitarist of The Violators, Austin's 1st (?) punk band, here at Randy's Rodeo for The Sex Pistols show in San Antonio on Jan. 8, 1978, as captured by Tom McMahon.

austinchronicle.com/ :"When The Violators and the Skunks invade Raul's, fourteen days after the Sex Pistols break up and mainstream media declares punk dead, Austin's scene begins at a Tejano bar…", [before a crowd of no more than maybe 50 or 60, since a 100 was a big crowd at Raul's at those first shows.] "The Violators were very young kids," says [The Skunks'] Blackmon. "Marilyn was like 16, Kathy was 16, Carla was probably 21. Jesse was probably the best musician in that band, off the top of my head. Carla was good. They were just kids playing fast English punk music. Those were our influences at that time." "It was mainly people who didn't seem to know what to make of cute girls playing guitars and drums," remembers Valentine. "More than the music, it was the fact that we were female that they had no reference for. The only females in Austin doing this played fiddle – Marcia Ball was the only real musician in a band. Everybody else played fiddle or sang or were folk people." "…More than anything, it was the shock of the new. The Violators were mostly young, attractive women playing loud, fast, Sex Pistols-meets-Ramones punk. And they were doing this in a Tejano bar on the Drag, in a town musically ruled by Cosmic Cowboys and white bluesmen. Everything was changing. You either changed with it, or you opposed it. There was no room for the lukewarm…."

Marilyn & Kathy met in high school & quickly became best friends, the teen kind that does everything together: as Kathy Valentine recalls, they started bands, went to clubs, met boys and dreamt of big things in life, even moved out to LA together in 1978 but as it so often happens in life, they drifted apart after a falling out. Kathy later went on to play bass in The Go-Go's and sadly Marylin Dean passed away in recent years.

Photo & info via Tim Stegall's 'Austin Punk Chronicles' at austinchronicle.com.

(via, via & via)

[porcelainmortal]

Master Fic List

I figured I have enough fics now that they deserve a permanent place to live on my blog. Please read, comment, enjoy!

a valentine for Alex (rated E | 1,968 words) Valentine's Day smut

the bartender and the blond (rated M | 9,999 words) slow burn romance

being enough (rated T | 551 words) Alex loves Henry

Brooklyn in the summer (rated E | 23,618 words) infamous handyman!alex series (part 4 is in the works)

cool for the summer (rated M | 1,500 words) drinking + teasing = relationship

faith, trust, and pixie dust (rated M | 5,810 words) omgtheywereroommates but make it Halloween

find me here and speak to me (rated E | 13,131 words) soulmate au angst

Freaktober (rated E | 14,475 words) Kinktober with a Halloween twist

Friday, i'm in love (a collection of ficlets) ficlet friday firstprince

i'm known for giving love away (rated E | 16,866 words) stripper!Alex fic

it happened on a lake (rated E | 18,967 words) David-centric meet cute

mad love. (rated E | 31,313) angsty exes-to-lovers, HEA

move your body (rated E | 2,500 words) dancing and smut

perineyum (rated E | 2,500 words) introspective rimming, the sequel

right here, right now (rated E | 3,333 words) coworkers to lovers

Saturdays are for the boys (rated E | 1,813 words) Saturday couch smut (10k fandom fic)

smutgiving 2023 (rated E | 100 word drabble) self-explanatory

smutsgiving 2024 (rated E | 100 word drabble) it's mostly feelings

take my hand and let it spin (a collection of drabbles) 100-word fics

the song of alex & henry (rated T | 1,062 words) firstprince reads TSOA

Vegas, Baby (rated M | 12,735 words) strangers to husbands

when the curtains call the time (rated E | 27,916 words) exes to lovers

what if we just fall? (rated E | 4,565 words) roommates-to-lovers emotional smutfest

why do you call me baby? (rated M | 3,625 words) henry is unexpected

wrapped up in music & lyrics (rated M | 1,000 words) Spotify Wrapped drabbles

[aestheticpearl]

— 𝐝𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐝 𝐱 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐥 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬

angel is a big nerd but they keep that a secret cause they actually like star wars more than star trek

only david knows about them being a huge nerd about it. he was the one that suggested not saying anything to asher and angel agreed after witnessing asher rant about star trek for two hours straight

despite telling david that the pack meetings are boring, angel has never missed one since they were invited to come

when they are bored at the pack meetings they love to doodle. whether it’s on paper or even david’s hand

angel may not be the best at cooking but my god they can bake

angel will make cupcakes, cookies, fudge and actual cake just for the pack meeting

david and angel will go on walks often and angel will always pick up at least twenty rocks because they look pretty and david will always hold them, not without a little protest

“but your pockets are deeper!”

“no way, they’re covered in mud”

“pleaseeeee davey”

he’ll let out a deep sigh and take the rocks while angel beams at him and turns to pick up more

angel almost never gets angry but when they do it’s one of the scariest things david has ever seen, straight up shook this man to his magical core

angel definitely has a black belt in karate and knows several self defense moves

david packs a lunch for himself and angel but angel will always sneak in a cute note and a sweet treat for him

they both love giving each other kisses on the each other’s temple

david isn’t big on pda but he will always hold angels hand when he can

whenever david holds angels hand they always feel seen by him

THEY SLOW DANCE IN THE KITCHEN‼️

angel always leans their head on david’s chest while doing so cause they love hearing his heartbeat

david loves talking to angel about his childhood, but he would never say that out loud

angel loves listening to david talk about anything and everything. they’re usually the one who talks the most in the relationship but when they get david going they love just listening

angel made david matching bracelets for valentine’s day one year and he has not taken it off since

angel keeps every cheap stuffed animal david has won them at the dahila carnival

angel has talked about what it’s like to be mates with another empowered person with both milo and sweetheart separately

they get kind of sad that they don’t have a magical core that can’t respond to david’s

all that insecurity went out the window the moment david proposed 

they are my parents your honor

.love always <3 pearl

.masterlist

[hollywoodfamerp]

Hollywood Fame is heading to the most magical place on earth!

Pack your bags for Walt Disney World, a place where dreams come true and a little pixie dust goes a long way! We will be staying at Disney's Animal Kingdom Lodge, which features exotic animals, dazzling pools, award-winning dining, and more. Who knows? You may even meet a new friend right outside your window! Under the cut, you will find the roommates list for the trip. The roommates were arranged by a RANDOM generator. Unless we got a message from you telling us you wanted to be with a specific person or your FC was listed on the ships list, you were included in the generator.  As we get more people into the roleplay, we will update the list. If you do not see your characters name on this list, please message us POLITELY and let us know! Mistakes happen, and the generator isn't perfect. Hopefully, everyone is accounted for - if not, we’ll fix it! As stated before, as we accept new apps before AND during the event, this list will be updated. This is also applicable if FCs are unfollowed/leave the group, so please understand that this list is subject to change. So, that being said - please LIKE THIS POST so you can not only keep track of this list but also so we know you saw this notice.

Akanishi Jin and Lee Sunmi

Ana de Armas and Louis Tomlinson

Andrew Garfield and Lily James

Anne Hathaway and Jade Thirlwall

Ariana DeBose and Ariana Grande

Awsten Knight and Miley Cyrus

Bella Hadid and Thomas Doherty

Billie Lourd and Dylan O'Brien

Cari Fletcher and Victoria de Angelis

Cha Eunwoo and Choi Soobin

Chloe Bailey and Gareth Southgate

Choi Minho and Kim Ahyoung (Yura)

Chris Evans and Naomi Scott

Colby Lopez (Seth Rollins) and Rebecca Quin (Becky Lynch)

Dakota Johnson and Sam Heughan

Danielle Campbell and Joe Burrow

Danny Amendola and Olivia Culpo

David Tennant and Harry Kane

Demi Bennett (Rhea Ripley) and Ashley Fliehr (Charlotte Flair)

Dove Cameron and Aaron Tveit

Dua Lipa and Joseph Quinn

Emilia Clarke and Park Seonghwa

Emily Blunt and John Krasinski

Emma D’Arcy and Hailee Steinfeld

Erin Moriarty and Fryea Allan

Ethan Torchio and Damiano David

Florence Pugh and Cillian Murphy

Georgia Tennant and Jason Sudeikis

Glen Powell and Meryl Streep

Hailey Baldwin and Luke Hemmings

Harry Styles and Ashton Irwin

Hwang Hyunjin and Bang Chan

Jackson Wang and Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul (Ten)

Jamie Campbell Bower and Tate McRae

Jenna Ortega and Halle Bailey

Jeon Jungkook and Choi San

Jessica Chastain and Claudia Jessie

Jonathan Bailey and Simone Ashley

Jordyn Woods and Bae Joohyun (Irene)

Josephine Skriver and Aaron Taylor-Johnson

Josh O'Connor and Troye Sivan

Joshua Hong (Hong Jisoo) and Olivia O'Brien

Jung Wooyoung and Brittany Baker (Britt Baker)

Jung Yoonoh (Jaehyun) and Lee Taeyong

Kang Seulgi and Byn Baekhyun

Kelsea Ballerini and Joe Keery

Kim Hongjoong and Diamanté Quiava Valentin Harper (Saweetie)

Kim Jisoo and Christian Yu

Kim Mingyu and Sana Minatozaki

Kim Taehyung and Chou Tzuyu

Kit Connor and Michael Evans Behling

Kylie Jenner and Billie Eilish

Lauren Jauregui and Bill Skarsgard

Lee Jeno and Na Jaemin

Lee Know (Minho) and Lee Felix

Lee Taemin and Kim Jongin

Leigh-Anne Pinnock and Emma Stone

Lucas Wong and Kim Jungwoo

Lupita Nyong'o and Tessa Thompson

Madelyn Cline and Anya Taylor-Joy

Maia Mitchell and Alycia Debnam-Carey

Maika Monroe and Sydney Sweeney

Mark Lee and Lee Donghyuck (Haechan)

Matt Smith and Jonathan Good (Jon Moxley)

Maxence Danet-Fauvel and Hunter Schafer

Mazz Murray and Jang Gyuri

Min Yoongi and Kim Namjoon

Nicholas Galitzine and Taylor Zakhar Perez

Nick Robinson and Jake Gyllenhaal

Nicola Coughlan and Liam Hemsworth

Olivia Cooke and Austin Butler

Olivia Rodrigo and Isabela Merced

Pamela Martinez (Bayley) and Mercedes Justine Varnado (Sasha

Banks)

Pedro Pascal and Kendall Jenner

Renee Paquette (Renee Young) and Niall Horan

Renee Rapp and Barbara Palvin

Robyn (Rihanna) Fenty and Drew Starkey

Romee Strijd and Elizabeth Lail

Ryan Gosling and Gigi Hadid

Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively

Sabrina Carpenter and Hannah Waddingham

Sam Claflin and Chris Pine

Samantha Gibb and Megan Jovon Ruth Pete (Megan Thee Stallion)

Saoirse Ronan and Jack Lowden

Sebastian Stan and Margot Robbie

Selena Gomez and Nick Jonas

Shawn Mendes and Jeon Wonwoo

Sophie Turner and Logan Lerman

Taylor York and Hayley Williams

Tom Hardy and Perrie Edwards

Tom Holland and Natalia Dyer

Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift

Troian Bellisario and Lucy Hale

Vanessa Hudgens and Zac Efron

Vanessa Merrell and Solana Rowe (SZA)

Veronica Merrell and Rylee Arnold

Walton Goggins and Ella Purnell

Wong Kunhang and Mason Mount

Xiao Dejun (Xiaojun) and Yoo Jimin (Karina)

Xu Minghao and Jennie Kim

Yoo Siah (Yooa) and Kim Minjeong (Winter)

Zendaya Coleman and Paul Mescal

Zoë Kravitz and Lili Reinhart

[flowerandblood]

Valentine's Day Q&A

I want to get to know you a little better, and there's no better day for dirty questions than Valentine's Day! Choose which part of the question you want to answer and, of course, only do it if you feel like it! It will be perfectly fine if you skip answering some questions. 😌

The most painful love crush/disappointment in real life? 😵

Do you remember the scene in Glass Cuts Deepests when Wright tells Aemond about her ex boyfriend putting a flower behind other girl's ear? Well, that happened to me, just we weren't together, but I was completely in love with him before I met my husband and this scene was DEVASTATING to watch!

What was your first real date like/what do you imagine your first real date would be like? 😇

I went on my first date ever with my husband (although we both said it was just a friendly meeting). We went to the cinema together to see the movie Green Book. I kept shushing him because he wanted to talk to me during the show, haha.

What would be the most awkward situation for you on a date/has happened to you while dating? 😐

It's not really strange, but I burst out laughing because one of my husband's first compliments to me was "I can't stop looking at your socks" with Michelangelo's naked David on them.

What was your first kiss like/what do you imagine your first kiss would be like? 😚

My husband was suffering from a huge hangover after his friends birthday party which he had attended the day before. He felt sick and I asked if he wanted to take a nap (we were in the room he was renting) and he asked what I would do then. I said that I could fall asleep at any time of the day or night (it's true) and we ended up lying next to each other.

Of course, he suddenly didn't feel like sleeping, and my first kiss (with my consent, because what could I do? He would never have dared to do it if he was sober) tasted of vodka (of course, he was taking a shower etc. before I came, it's just that after so much alcohol, you actually sweat vodka). 😂

Do you have any sexual quirks that others would find strange/is there anything you would never do when it comes to sex? 😬

Neither I nor my husband are into oral sex at all. We've tried and we both can't concentrate, we both only think about the fact that someone will accidentally make the other person uncomfortable. We had a conversation about it and agreed that it simply wasn't for us. 😂

We both also abhor bodily fluids and often laugh about it after everything "blehhh take it away from me" is the order of the day. We are having a good time tho, haha!! 😂

What's the kinkiest thing you've ever done/could do with your partner? 🥵

I would let him spank my ass until I cried. 😇

The most romantic thing ever? 💕

My hubby giving me food and brushing my hair while laying next to me when I'm sad. 😭

None pressure tags: @ewanmitchellcrumbs; @targaryenrealnessdarling; @humanpurposes; @aegonx; @black-dread; @sapphirehearteyes; @aemvnd; @zenka69; @at-a-rax-ia; @malfoytargaryen @blackswxnn @toodlesxcuddles @kckt88 @immyowndefender @bellaisasleep @persephonerinyes @alphard-hydraes-blog @zaldritzosrose @aveatquevale- @fan-goddess @lottie-blue-star @fullmoonworshipper

+ anyone who feels like it of course!!!

[rebelliousstories]

Celebrate

25 Days of Ficmas

Relationship: Marko x Reader

Fandom: The Lost Boys

Request: No

Warnings: Fluff, Mentions of Vampirism

Word Count: 1,585

Masterlist: Here

The Lost Boys Masterlist: Here

Summary: If anyone can convince the boys to put in a little effort for the holiday, surely it’s Marko?

Marko was the more oriented of the blonde terror twins. Opposed to Paul, he could focus on one thing for a while without needed other stimuli. His jacket was evidence of that. A testament to his unwavering dedication to his art. So when he meets someone at the boardwalk with an equally detailed, somewhat chaotic, and colorful jacket, he just has to meet them. Which is what led him to her. They bonded over one night with their shared love for patches and any other form of art. What started off as a means to get a meal, turned in to a blossoming friendship, which led to a beautiful and meaningful relationship. With this love for art, came a love for holidays and decorating. Marko shared her love for al things festive and would help her decorate; New Year’s, Halloween, Valentine’s Day, Summer Solstice, Spring and Fall Equinoxes, and Christmas, and the Winter Solstice. But when she moved in to the cave to be closer to Marko, there were certainly some hesitation for her love of decorating.

Namely, David. He did not mind her, but the love for decorating he could do without. However, this did little to discourage her as she made her way around, finding new places to hang tinsel and garland. She had already scooped out a place to put up a tree. But it seemed Marko was the only one on board with her decorating. They took to the boardwalk one night to find some last minute decorations for the cave.

“Hey Marky,” she asked, looking at an ornament. The vampire came up and rested his hands on her waist, and head on her shoulder. He hummed in acknowledgment before pressing light kisses to her neck.

“Do you think the boys would wanna help with the decorations? I know Laddie we can get on board but, like, Dwayne, and Paul, and David. Do you think we could convince them?” Turning in Marko’s arms, he ceased his attack on her neck. She looked up at her lover with a hopeful expression. He thought about it for a minute.

“We can try. Might have to be a tag team effort but, I’m sure we can convince at least some of them.” It was not the best answer, but it was the best she had for the time being. After having a good day’s sleep, the couple woke the following evening to put their plan into motion.

Operation: Celebration and Decorations

~

Paul was fairly easy to convince. He loved the chance to have a good time, and usually followed plans when they were given to him.

“Hey Paul?” Marko called out, pulling on his boots one evening after they woke up. The other blonde looked over towards the cherub with wide eyes as he was stuck in between getting into his jacket, and then rolling a blunt.

“Wanna help me and love decorate the front of the cave for Christmas?” He stood up and took the blunt from the other vampire so he could finish getting dressed. Paul shrugged his shoulders that the jacket now covered. He took back the blunt from Marko with a, ���sure dude!” One down, two to go.

~

Dwayne was a little harder. He was a rule follower when he wanted to be, and that was apparently now.

“Dwayne?” She came up to the vampire as he waited for Star and Laddie to show up at the boardwalk to go home. He turned to her without saying a word, just raised an eyebrow.

“Will you help Marko, Paul, Laddie, Star and I decorate the cave for Christmas?” Her request was said so sweetly that Dwayne almost gave in. And with the added bonus of doing it with and for Laddie, he almost said yes. But Dwayne called out her name, dragging it out.

“You remember what David said. He doesn’t want the cave all glittered up.” He dragged the woman back so she was looking at him. She knew he was serious but so was she.

“We’re not gonna use glitter. Besides, it’s Laddie’s first Christmas. Please, Dwayne?” The woman turned on the puppy dog eyes, and watched as Dwayne thought it over in his head. Silence stretched long enough that she had considered using another angle to get him to say yes.

“Alright. For Laddie.” Her squeal of delight pulled a small chuckle out of the vampire in front of her before she hoped on the back of Marko’s bike to await his return.

Only one left.

~

“No.”

“Come on, David!” Marko begged, watching David walk away from him.

“Marko, no. I will tolerate your human. I will even accept the fact that you are putting up decorations for Christmas. But I will not be any part of it.” He continued to walk away from his vampire brother, wanting the conversation to end desperately.

“David, just, please! Will you stop for a second and listen!” Marko surged forward and grabbed the bleach blonde vampire by the arm. Said vampire turned swiftly and yanked his arm from Marko’s grasp. The pair stood there for a minute as David stared down the cherubic boy in front of him.

“I know you don’t like Christmas and celebrating, David. But she does. This is important to her. Plus, Laddie is really looking forward to celebrating. You’re not going to let Laddie down now right?” It was a dirty trick, but Marko knew that David held a secret soft spot for the young boy. A noise brought the vampires attention to the front of the cave.

Dwayne had Laddie on his shoulders while the young vampire threw tinsel around one of the ledges in the cave. Paul was blasting music on their boombox while Star stayed near Dwayne spotting Laddie. The other girl in the cave was busy sorting out the ornaments for the tree that was going to go in the cave tomorrow night when they could go get it. It was genuinely wonderful to see everyone in the cave laughing and having a good time. Without looking at Marko, David spoke.

“Fine. One thing. I’m only doing one thing and that’s it.” David continued to walk away from Marko, who did not follow him this time. The bleach blonde vampire sat wordlessly in his wheelchair and simply watched everyone for the time being.

Okay. Now they had everyone on board. Time to get this show on the road.

~

The following evening, everyone was busy decking out the cave. Star was working with Paul to throw the garland around the tree, which was somewhat working. It mostly succeeded because of Star, but she did get plenty of giggles out of watching Paul try his best. Laddie and Dwayne were wrapping Paul’s presents because if they did it any sooner than tonight, he would have torn into them already. Plus, he was distracted, giving them plenty of time to get it done. Marko and his lover were placing stocking all around the fountain, and putting more tinsel around as well. And David sat in his chair, smoking a cigarette.

By the time David had finished his third cigarette, the only thing left were the ornaments for the tree. Everyone gathered around and picked up an ornament each to start placing on the tree.

“David, come on!” He heard Marko’s girlfriend exclaim from the other side of the cave. Sighing, he pushed the fourth unlit cigarette behind his ear and stood. David made his way over to the group and reluctantly snatched an ornament just like the rest of them. Laddie got up on Dwayne’s shoulders to place ornaments near the top, while Paul held up a box of the colorful decorations for the both of them to choose from. Soon enough, all the ornaments had been placed on the tree. It truly looked like the kind of thing out of a Christmas Hallmark film, except it was missing the topper. Marko left, but returned quickly, this time with a new box. A crystallized, star tree topper awaited them. All of them, except David who had already turned to leave again, but a hand on his arm stopped him. Turning his head, he caught the eyes of Marko’s love.

“I did my one Christmas decoration thing. I’m done.” He said with a voice devoid of emotion.

“Will you put the topper on?” She requested, with a sweet voice. But David stood strong.

“Have Laddie do it. He’s already up that high anyways.” David shrugged off her hand with a grumble.

“The tree topper is usually reserved for the head of the family, David.” Dwayne inserted quietly. By now, everyone was staring at the vampire with his back still turned. The look on Dwayne’s face was unreadable, but David knew. He knew that he would not have told him that information unless it was true. Letting his eyes rake over the faces of everyone else, David saw the same look in their eyes. With a sigh, he turned back and got the star topper out of the box. Looking at the top, David flew up to be level with the top of the tree, and ever so gently, lowered the topper down. When he returned to the ground, no one could peel their eyes from the tree, including him. It was just what they needed to complete the magnificent work of art. Marko wrapped his arm around David’s shoulders, and released him with a comforting squeeze. Maybe celebrating Christmas was not as bad as he thought.

[nevertoomanyspiders]

Say,since you like Wheelers so much as I do,I have discovered there may be more to them than people think. Emerald City Mirror has a short story called The History of the Wheeler Country by David Valentin. Bad news is the link is broken,thus I cannot read it. Perhaps somebody else does. If there is,I hope you like it.

I got digging, I found this Oz timeline site...

there's also this...

The History of the Wheeler Country: Long ago in the Land of Ev lived the Rollers, ruled by King Roll. On the day of his troublesome son's birthday, Champ decided to find a gift for himself in Mysterious Mountain, where treasures are rumored to abound. Champ searches the underground caverns, unaware they are ruled by the Nome King. Champ is captured and sentenced to work in the mines. The king and queen follow their son's tracks into the mountain, where they too are captured and made slaves. The rest of the Rollers grow anxious and then dispirited when their beloved Royal Family doesn't return, and in time becomes surly and fearful, changing their name to Wheelers and avoiding the mountain.

Continuity Notes Dating: This story occurs some time after the Wheelers/Rollers were transformed into the present form they're in, an event that occurred when Lurline broke the Magic Egg over Ev in 1742, as shown in the story The Immortal Longings of Oz (forthcoming). This would take place some years later, as the Wheelers/Rollers have learned to accept their fate and become "happy and contented," which is some time prior to when Dorothy meets them, when they're "cold, mean and obnoxious." The further story of the Wheelers will be revealed in the forthcoming book The Immortal Longings of Oz.

if there are other links you're talking about, I can't find them. thanks for sharing this!

[fiannalover]

Fate Fic Recs

Because I read a lot of fics and am always rolling that ao3 gacha, so I felt like sharing a non exhaustive rec list under read more. Feel free to reblog and add more!

past the lingering smoke - Kadoc-senpai is best senpai! Post-ID. Hurt/Comfort.

For Want Of A Relic - Fate/Zero Servant Swap AU where Waver gets Diarmuid and everyone else swaps around too. The resulting team-ups are honestly delicious and you get very good Diarmuid out of it. The writer came back after 4 years of hiatus to finish the fic and write sequels, go give them a round of applause!

Fragments of Chaldea - stares directly at the camera

Café of the round - Reincarnation AU Coffee Shop. The Main Round Tale reincarnate within the Fate Universe and get together to own a coffee shop, meeting and remeeting other nasuvere people along the way.

AND GUINIVERE IS THEEEEEERE!!!!! 🎉🎉🎉 yaaaaaaaaaay

Multiple Case Studies of the Strange Concept of Love - a Servant is summoned to Chaldea, and spends her days looking at the romantic couples within it and analyzing the emotions she feels. Once you learn who is the main character you'll start crying. Also, RamaSita, yay!

Sunset Cocktail - BediGudao Valentine’s day fic. Bedivere saves Gudao from stalker of the day, takes him to Moriarty’s bar, on Moriarty’s suggestion. Bedivere regrets his trusting of shifty old men from the word go, more at 11.

a planet between your teeth - Drabble. The god asks if the fairy wants to eat him.

what name is there for what we have done? - Post-LB6 Fic where Mordred is, quite frankly, blowing up after Morgan and Baobhan are summoned to Chaldea, specially with how much the former looks like him. This takes him to Bedivere’s room. Hurt/Comfort, amazing Bedivere, amazing Round Table dynamic (author uses he/him for Mordred)

vignette 50 - Sieg & Guda farming at New York Event. Cute. Cute. Cute. CUTE! def a fic to read to warm up cozily at the end of the day, I get cuteness giggles everytime I read it.

Taste-testing - CharlieGudao baking fic. Pure, unaltered fluff. Charlie lays the sugar Thick.

Conversation by the bus stop - Bedivere talks to a fairy who is not there

But we stay silly - GudaCas. Guda shocks Artoria out of dissociation by barking like a dog. Adorable. I SWEAR this is cute. Trust me.

Sign here - Modern AU GudaCas stuff following on that part of the chocolate competition where Cnoc says the winner will marry Ritsuka. A lovely comedy drabble that will Not tear your heart apart at the last second, unlike fics made by other authors who followed up on that scene.

遅くの成人の日 (救った世界が必ず貴方を救ったくれる、どんな形でもそれは貴方にきっと届く） - I can only pray the title formatted well. Summer event fic of Ritsuka dealing gwith how long she has been at this, and the acceptance of her own aging.

And Thus Did The Leaves Fall - BediArthur. Bedivere as Arthur dies.

Look at me - GudakoBarth. Gudako, Bartholomew, their feelings for one another and how much one needs to fit another’s type.

She did not want to die - NitoSche fic and character exploration. Amazing Sche character exploration, accompanied by an equally amazing Nitocris POV version of the fic in Act As A Pharaoh. If you like either girl, you HAVE to read it.

Have I Made You Sad, Mom? - Post-LB6 Morgan has been summoned to Chaldea. Baobhan hasn’t arrived yet.

(Free from) Sin - Morgan!Aesc, Aesc!Morgan, and the many times she felt love, wretched, cursed love.

Atonement - Ritsuka going through therapy and readjusting to a normal life post-lostbelt, as the voices of all her Servants remain ringing in her ears.

Your heart in my mouth, bitter on the tongue - MashMorgan. Mash confesses, Morgan vaguely remembers what emotions are. I do love a good rule of three emotional discussion fic.

Bridal Ox - Asterios goes to Habetrot’s workshop to ask for a dress

Taking the bit (heh) to its natural conclusion - Modern AU GudaCas. Guda is face blind, Caster needs someone to help her run away from the cops.

the odds don’t look far - Avicebron and David bonding over being the only jewish Servants in Chaldea (and, post-Part 1, the staff as a whole).

[kitheking]

Redacted Awards 2024 🌟 my submission post

hihihi so i nominated myself for Samuel Collin’s #1 fan and this is my attempt at convincing you why i should win. you might wanna sit down for this one <3

1. Sam’s playlist is how i discovered the Redacted Audio community bc he was the first character I ever listened to

2. he’s southern and I have spent half of my life being in the south so him and i are basically soul tied

3. I knew Sam was the Duke of the Solaire Clan WAY before it was revealed because i had a dream about it

4. i also had a hunch his eyes were brown pre-turning. i’m just that good.

5. Even after listening to other RA characters like Milo, Vincent, David (some of my other fav characters when i first started listening to the channel) etc, I was still drawn to Sam (because his character is written so well)

- I honestly love how we still don’t know everything about Sam’s life pre-turning in detail besides his relationship with his grandma. like he’s so mysterious

- he was originally a flawed character (when he was featured in Fredericks storyline) and that’s honestly what drew me to him more

6. he knows what the omegaverse and uses his knowledge to tease the pack, which is something i would 100% do (were like the same person)

7. He’s my comfort character, and I have rewatched his playlist so many times to the point where I have the: Moonlit Meeting With a Vampire, Vampire Tends to Your Injuries, Getting Closer to Your Vampire Mate, Cuddles and Confessions With Your Vampire Mate, Warming Up With Your Vampire Mate, Solstice Party With The Werewolf Pack, Going All the Way With Your Vampire Mate, Your Vampire Mate Makes You a Promise, Your Vampire Mate Tries to Learn a Video game, Cuddling Up and Watching a Scary Movie With Your Vampire Mate, Heating Up In The Bedroom w/ Your Vampire Mate Audios ALL memorized bar for bar…. and the moving in audio.. and cuddly morning audios (with and without asher)… and all the quinn audios.. uhhh the valentine’s day one…. all his lines in the summit and inversion… and the club one. Yeah i think that’s it. Oh yeah and the HBS one in the pool. Can you believe i just typed all that? 🔥

8. I have never related to an asmr listener more than i have related to darlin

9. I actually start to tweak when I go more than 3 months without a new Sam audio (i was struggling until i heard from him in the wedding audio)

10. my bio has included a Sam quote for 2 years now

11. here’s a few of my posts about sam that i think represent how much i think of him

majority of my posts have something to do w him and i post the most when a new sam audio drops

12. His favorite season is fall. guess what my favorite season is? BOOM. Guess what season my birthday just so happens to be in? EXACTLY.

13. Sam’s character helped me realize that I should never be ashamed to ask for help and that I never have to struggle alone

14. Umm this post? like c’mon i dare you to say i’m not dedicated

okay i’ll stop now! honestly my chance of winning is low cause there’s like a billion other people who are nominated for Sam’s #1 fan but that’s ok! if any of said ppl see this post good luck!

@plaqying thank you for coming up with this i’m genuinely so excited wether i win anything or not

[classic80sand90smovieloves2]

For reference (since i mentioned it in my latest poll)~

Completed October Requests:

Meeting and Courting Dracula

Meeting and Dating Jerry Dandridge (2011)

Meeting and Dating Kevin Wendell Crumb

Poly Earl and Valentine (Tremors)

Meeting David Allen Griffin (too long for one post/working on dating headcanons too)

Lestat wooing you

The second version of "Meeting Jerry Dandridge" (though I might release that outside of October)

Meeting and dating Bert (Cabin Fever)

Meeting and Dating Roman Bridger

Meeting and Dating Edward Dalton

Spending Halloween with Chad Corey Dylan

Poly Sydney and Tatum

October requests I'm working on/close to completing:

TBD….

Completed September Requests/normal requests:

Meeting and Dating Chozen Toguchi

Meeting and Dating Alex Law

Meeting and Dating Zorg

Being friends with Martha and Veronica

[ladamedusoif]

Visiting - Chapter 11: My Favourite Work of Art

(Moodboard by @cutesyscreenname)

Pairing: Professor!Ben (College AU) x OFC Lydia/fem!Reader (reader POV/2nd POV)

Summary: Seeking a change of scenery after her life falls apart, Lydia crosses the Atlantic and arrives in a small New England town, to spend a year expanding her intellectual horizons as a visiting professor of art history at a small liberal arts college. Her growing friendship with Ben Morales, professor of Hispanic literature, forces Lydia to confront the fallout from her past - and raises unexpected questions about the future.

Chapter summary: Work stresses and the pressures of an impending public talk threaten to derail Ben and Lyd's attempts to do Valentine's Day their way, while news spreads of their romance among the student body.

Word Count: 10k (I'm...sorry?)

Rating: Explicit (MDNI; 18+)

Content (series and chapter specific): Professor Ben College AU; Ben and Lydia are contemporaries; canon is not a thing here; slow burn; idiots to lovers; smut; fingering; oral sex; safe PiV sex; enthusiastic consent; strong language; alcohol consumption; praise kink; self-esteem issues; body and weight insecurity; office sex; students thinking people in their 40s are 'old' (they aren't); some references to previous emotional abuse; references to stress; some minor angst; fluff central and I'm loving it

A/N (further notes at the end of the chapter):

The title for this chapter comes from Chet Baker's 'My Funny Valentine'.

Thank you to everyone who's shown so much love for this pair so far - every comment, reblog, like, interaction, ask is just a joy to me.

See the Series Masterlist for an outline of Lydia's story and background.

Chapter 10 - Chapter 12

Cross-posting to AO3 (and if you're reading on there, too, and yelling along in the comments - I love you, thank you!)

@julesonrecord and @lunapascal - thank you, extended family members of the dorksicles.

Taglist:

@lunapascal , @julesonrecord , @tessa-quayle , @vermillionwinter , @iamskyereads , @tieronecrush , @perennialdoll247 , @love-the-abyss , @imaswellkid , @intheorangebedroom , @javierisms , @fuckyeahdindjarin , @littlemisspascal , @khindahra , @pedrostories , @readingiskeepingmegoing , @rhoorl , @red-red-rogue , @princessanglophile , @katareyoudrilling @survivingandenduring , @trulybetty @fictionismyreality @sunnywithachanceofjavi , @joeldjarin , @lahoozaherr, @s-u-t, @its-nebuleuse

“Okay - dirty gin martini for Lyd, whiskey sour for Evan, and for me, a negroni sbagliato -”

Ani pauses, looking expectantly at you and Evan.

In unison, you look at each other and pronounce: “with Prosecco in it”, in your sultriest tones, before giggling as Ani settles back into their dark red leather chair, drink in hand. 

Evan raises his crystal-cut tumbler. “To us. And to our people.”

“Our people?” Ani arches an eyebrow.

“David, Cass…” He turns in your direction. “And of course, the other half of dorkdom’s greatest love story: Benjamin.”

You roll your eyes, raise your glass, and take a sip of the ice cold cocktail. “To our lovely people.”

Ani and Evan sip their drinks contentedly. You’d tried to meet for a drink every week or so, schedules permitting, since you came to Barrow, and Evan had been adamant that the routine would continue now that you were, in his words, “sickeningly loved-up”. 

“Speaking of our lovely people,” Evan asks, reclining in his chair, “what are your V-Day plans?”

Ani scoffs audibly. “V-Day. Fuck, Ev. Me and Cass are going to a nice hotel for the weekend at the end of February, and I’m sending her one of those ridiculous heart-shaped cookies on the day, iced with the message Fuck Heteronormative Capitalism.” They trace their hand through the air, as if illustrating the inscription. Then, a little more quietly: “And, uh, a nice bouquet of her favourite flowers, obviously.”

Evan sighs happily. “I knew you were a romantic, Ani Sen. We’re sending flowers too - David said some shit about how we’re appropriating and queering the established gestures of heteronormative romance, but I know he just wants some cool blooms in his apartment.” 

“Everyone loves getting flowers,” you add. “I bet even the most performatively straight dude wouldn’t say no to a really nice hand-tied arrangement.”

You become very aware that both Evan and Ani have trained their gazes on you. 

“And what, pray, has love’s young dream cooked up for the great festival of lurrrrrve?” Evan rolls his rs with relish. 

“Uh…” You stare at the olive in your glass and take a fortifying sip of your martini.

“We haven’t really talked about it yet. It’s just been so busy and stressful lately - for Ben especially, but for me too. I’ve got that big public talk at the end of next week, you know, and he’s got that big submission to the college board about the diversity and inclusion plan, and that’s due on 15 February, of all days, and it’s hard, because it’s all still so new and so lovely, and we’re having such a gorgeous time, and we love each other so much and we’re trying not to be stressed, but we kind of are, and yeah - yeah. I guess it just hasn’t been on our radar.”

Ani squeezes your hand gently. “Oh, babe. It’s okay, it’s not like it actually matters, right? If your relationship has to conform on one day, then you’ve got bigger problems. And you two are so happy. Even if a bit stressed. Right?”

You nod. “Really, really happy. Fuck, it’s just my overthinking shit again. Should we do something, is it bad if we don’t, is it too late to arrange something at this stage…”

Evan clears his throat. “Girl, you’re spiralling. Again. Look, I’m sorry. Please don’t feel you have to do something just because of me asking.” He sips his whiskey sour as you smile over at him. 

“I am making him a gift, though.”

Evan and Ani wheel around in their seats dramatically. 

“OH FUCK YOU MISS OH NO PLANS SO STRESSED OH DON’T MIND ME JUST MAKING A GIFT!” Ani shrieks.

You lean over in your seat, laughing hard, grateful for all the love in your life here: the warm, platonic love of your friends as well as the extraordinary, unique love you shared with Ben. 

Deep down, though, you know you should probably ask him about Valentine’s Day. Just in case.

“Hi baby, it’s me!”

You close Ben’s front door behind you and drop the key he’d given you on the hall table. The house seems oddly quiet. It wasn’t particularly late, and you could see the lamps were on in the front room, so you assumed he was up. You take off your coat, hang it up, and wander in the direction of the living room.

Since getting together properly - becoming an “us”, as you’d said that cold Saturday morning a month before - you had not spent a night apart. Within a week, he had a drawer at your place and you had one at his; there were two toothbrushes in each of your bathrooms, now; and while you still valued having your own place, for now, you had begun to settle into a kind of loving domesticity stretched across two locations. 

If you’d been twenty years younger, this would have been moving worryingly fast. Now, though, it felt right in every way. You’d both been through enough to know what you wanted, and to know how you felt about each other. Even in the midst of a stressful time, each passing day only deepened the love that was still so new. Each tiny act of love, however practical or mundane, strengthened the bond between you. 

An example: Ben was astonished when, one evening at your place when you realised he’d not only removed your laundry from the dryer but carefully folded it and placed it in the basket, ready for you to put away (he still didn’t really know where everything went), you’d thrown yourself at him for a huge hug, tears in your eyes. 

“I just folded your laundry, baby, it’s not a big thing! Why are you crying?”

You looked at him, slightly blurry through your tearful gaze, thinking about what you could say to explain. That you’d spent over a decade in a relationship where your partner wouldn’t even think of taking your laundry out of the dryer, let alone folding it and neatly leaving it for you to put away. That you’d become so attuned to a partner doing absolutely nothing to make your life better or easier that you had come to see even the tiniest gesture as a major one. 

Instead, you’d leaned in and kissed Ben softly on the mouth. “I’m crying because I’m so happy. Because you’re the kindest, most loving man I’ve ever met. And you love me.”

You open the door into the living room now, slightly mellow after your martini, and discover Ben sitting up, asleep on the couch: glasses askew, papers and notes for the diversity initiative scattered around his sleeping form, and (somehow, miraculously) his laptop still safely on his knees, his broad hands resting lightly on the keyboard. 

Your heart melts at the sight. You tiptoe carefully over towards him, afraid of startling him and sending the laptop flying. 

“Ben?” you whisper, very gently stroking the crown of his head before lifting his laptop onto the coffee table. “Hey. It’s me.”

He blinks awake and his eyes pop open as he turns and sees you, smiling warmly at the sight. “Lyddie. Hi, darling. Shit… was I asleep?”

You sit beside him on the arm of the couch, not wanting to disturb the random spread of paperwork, and feel his arm wrap around your waist. “You were. Fuck, baby, you’re working too hard on this.”

He shakes his head drowsily, rummaging around for his notes and looking for his laptop. “It has to be perfect.” 

You put a hand on his, to still his movements. “No such thing. And even if there was, it won’t be perfect if you’re writing it half-asleep, Ben.” You look in the direction of the kitchen. “Did you at least eat?”

He nods and smiles cheekily. “I did, but only because some sexy art historian came over last night and brought enough lasagne to feed the five thousand. Or at least, to feed two academics for a couple of nights.”

“Sexy, huh?” You lean closer to him, admiring the line of his neck as he looks up at you, eyes scanning your upper body for a moment before meeting yours again. “Well, now that I know you’re fed and watered…why don’t you put away the work for tonight and take a sexy art historian to bed?”

Ben trails his hand under your sleep shirt, gently stroking the soft flesh of your breast with his thumb as you kiss languidly, your hand reaching into his boxers. 

He shifts on top of you as you tug down his shorts and hitch up your knees. You feel him resting hard and heavy on your soft belly as he continues to kiss you, one hand caressing your face with the greatest care. 

But it’s pretty obvious he’s fighting sleep. His eyelids are heavy, he struggles to keep his eyes open, and when they’re closed - even as he kisses you - you feel like he might just nod off there and then. No one wants their boyfriend to fall asleep on top of them, of course - but he’s got a good excuse. And he’s trying so valiantly to stay awake that your heart swells with affection. 

“Baby,” you murmur. “Baby?”

“Mmmmmfh?”

“Baby, look at me.”

His beautiful dark eyes barely peek at you from under his heavy lids, and you can’t help but giggle. 

“Darling, you’re nodding off. You need to sleep, love.”

Ben looks disappointed in himself, even as he shifts his body off you and back to his side of the bed. “I’m so sorry, Lyd. I shouldn’t be falling asleep on you like that, that’s not fair.”

You turn to face him and reach for his hand. “Ben, you were asleep on the fucking couch at 9.30pm. You’re getting up really early to go to work on the project. It has nothing to do with me or you or what we feel for each other.” You kiss him softly. “You’re just really overworked.”

He trails his long fingers over your hip. “Well…maybe. But I want you, darling. You know that, right?”

You nod. “Of course I do. And you can show me tomorrow, hmmm? So get a good night’s sleep. You’ll need it.” 

He grabs you with a growl and pulls you in to him, holding you close as you squeal delightedly. “You too, baby. I’m a man of my word.”

“And I’m a woman of mine.”

The two of you blink awake at 6am after a blissfully uninterrupted night of sleep, feeling thoroughly restored. 

“My lovely girl.”

“My handsome boy.”

A lazy kiss and cuddle soon becomes more urgent: hands roaming under each other’s nightclothes, seeking to discard them as quickly as possible; soft giggles as your head gets stuck in your sleep shirt turning to gentle sighs of pleasure as he dips his clever fingers between your legs; low moans from him as you straddle his body and take him inside you; cries of mutual pleasure as you come in quick succession. 

You turn your heads to face each other as you flop back onto the bed, sweating, sated, and wide awake. Ben looks at his phone. 

“Not bad going for quarter to 7 in the morning, huh?”

You laugh out loud, turning to rest a hand on his tummy. “What’s that Dusty Springfield song?” You sing lightly: “Just a little lovin’/Early in the morning/Beats a cup of coffee/For starting off the day”

Ben is staring at you like you’re a marvel. “Well, shit. You really can sing. Is there anything you can’t do?”

You flash him a sceptical look. “If I start listing all those things, we’ll be here all week. But thank you.”

He reaches over and pulls you to him for another cuddle. 

“Hey, Ben?” you ask, head resting on his shoulder. “Do you…do you want to, like, do something, for Valentine’s? I understand if it’s not your thing, I’m not a fan of the cheesy stuff but I thought -”

“Fuck. I got you a - no, never mind what I got you. But I completely forgot about making actual plans.” He traces a line along your shoulder. “Other than spending time with you, of course.”

“You know that’s fine with me, love.”

He shakes his head lightly. “No, we should at least go for dinner.” He kisses your forehead, nose pressing against your scalp. “It’s been a very long time since I had a Valentine.” 

Later that morning, you pop your head into the faculty office, where Susan is typing rapidly and humming contentedly to herself. 

“Hi, Susan. You don’t happen to know what room Ben’s in for his ten o’clock lecture, do you?”

She looks up at you and beams, a dreamy look in her eyes. “I remember this phase with Nick. Couldn’t stay away from each other.”

“Well, uh, not quite…” You hold up the dark blue hardcover notebook in your right hand. “He needs this for the session and I’m not sure if he knows he left it at home. I’d like to get there before the lecture starts, so if you know the room…?”

She gives her head a little shake, as if snapping herself out of her reverie, and with a few clicks of her mouse brings up the master timetable. “Okay… yep. Aubyn Building, room 015 - that’s the small-ish lecture theatre on the ground floor.” You thank her and are about to dash off when she calls you back. 

Susan’s smile has become slightly menacing as she stares you down. “We’re all so happy for the two of you. But don’t you dare hurt that lovely man.” 

You gulp audibly. “I promise I won’t. Um…yeah. See you later, Susan.”

You arrive at the lecture room with five minutes to spare, and most of the students are already sitting in the tiered rows, chattering brightly to each other as they whip out their laptops and tablets to take notes (or, let’s face it, do anything but take notes). Ben, dressed in a chartreuse green sweater with the collar of his white button-down shirt just visible, is standing at the podium and staring into his messenger bag with a puzzled expression. Though the lecture theatre is not particularly large, he’s wearing one of the radio mics available in the bigger teaching rooms, to ensure his voice will carry without strain. 

You bounce quickly down the steps in your denim pinafore dress and floral-print blouse, brandishing the notebook. “Looking for something?” You keep your voice low, not wanting to make a fuss in front of Ben’s entire sophomore option class. 

He raises his head and turns, smiling in surprise and delight. “I was starting to wonder if it had fallen out on the way over here this morning,” he says, taking the notebook and looking at it like it’s a Shakespeare First Folio. “I’d have been in trouble without this today.”

You shrug. “You’d have been fine, you know this stuff inside and out. But I remember you making revisions to the lecture in the notebook, so I’m glad I got it to you in time. See you later.” You turn and walk back towards the stairs to the exit.

“Thanks baby, love you.” Ben’s tone is casual, because telling you he loves you is now a kind of reflex for him, and vice versa. 

Except right now, he’s got a radio mic on, and his sweet, nonchalant declaration of love has just been broadcast to the entire lecture theatre. You’ve never seen a classroom full of chatty students fall silent quite so quickly before. 

You try to look back as subtly as possible. He’s flushed pink at the podium, the colour stark against the white of his collar and the green of his sweater, eyes wide and panicked behind his glasses as he stammers and stutters. All the while, the students swivel their heads looking at the two of you, whispers and giggles starting to build in their ranks.

“It’s okay!” you mouth to him. “See you later!”

The eyes of the students bore into you as you make your way towards the classroom door, trying desperately to avoid any accidental eye contact. Out of the corner of your eye you spot a handful who are also taking your class this semester - some of whom you’ll see for a seminar in just two hours’ time. 

Oh, fuck.

As you walk back to your building you try to reason with yourself. It’s not like you’re hiding your relationship, even if you’re not going around broadcasting your feelings for each other to all and sundry, and it’s not inappropriate or against the rules for you to be together. The students would probably have worked it out at some point. Hell, you got the feeling some of them already thought you were together. And it’s not like Ben had uttered something graphic or overly intimate, right?

All he said was he loves you. In front of a whole class of students. Who heard every word. 

You buy a coffee from the little cart outside the library and try to reassure yourself. “It’s fine,” you think to yourself. “They’ll forget it quickly and move on to the next drama.” 

Your seminar with the sophomores has been reassuringly drama-free thus far, save for some knowing glances from the students who’d been in Ben’s lecture earlier that morning. The students are working in small groups on exercises you’ve set around image analysis, using iPads to zoom in on a selection of visual sources and referring back to the set text for that week as they put together their commentary. 

You glance out the glass-panelled door of the classroom, just in time to make eye contact, unexpectedly, with Ben as he moves down the hallway. He grins at you, and your face immediately breaks into a smile. 

“Omigoooood, they’re so fuckin cute!” It’s not clear if the student realised quite how loud they were being, or whether they meant for you to hear, but their whispered comment immediately attracts your attention. They flush and sink down a little in their seat, looking like they might be about to burst into tears. “I’m so sorry Lydia, I didn’t mean…”

You bite your lip and think for a moment, folding your arms as you bring yourself to sit on the desk at the top of the room. “Y’know what? Get it out of your systems.”

The students stare at you, open-mouthed. “You mean…?”

“I mean: get it out of your systems, in whatever way you want. Within reason and appropriate personal boundaries. But only if you promise to focus on the sources afterwards, okay?”

They nod, looking at each other as if to confirm that they’re not being set up. One girl shyly raises her hand. “Um…so are you and professor Morales…”

“We are a couple, yes. Next quest-“

The babble from the students drowns you out. 

Awwwwwwww she’s so fuckin cute I mean of course he would wanna be with her dude he was never with Professor Arden what the fuck dude girl don’t get upset you were never gonna get with a professor I don’t care what you read in stories I thought they were together already do you think they’re getting married omg what if they have babies no don’t be silly they’re probably too old it’s just so nice that old people can fall in love 

At the sound of “old people” you call a halt. “Alright, I think you’ve got it out of your system. Fair?”

A student near the back lifts their hand. “You’re happy, though, right? You look happy.” 

You nod and smile. “Yeah, I’m happy. We’re happy. Okay, so, if we return to what Hall says he-“

Another hand. “Does this mean you’re gonna stay at Barrow?”

You feel your heart sink and you try to keep a bright expression on your face. “Haven’t got that far yet.”

A girl near the front looks panic-stricken. “Oh my god. Is Professor Ben gonna leave with you?!” Her classmates look equally stressed out by the thought, looking at you as if you’re about to take away their favourite pet. 

“I… no? I don’t…uh…” You try valiantly to suppress the panic building in your own chest. “Like I said. Haven’t got that far, not for you to worry about. Okay?”

They nod, but eye you suspiciously for the rest of the session.

Ben is packing up his things when you knock on his office door later that evening, ready to go home. It’s his busiest day in the week and you haven’t even been able to meet for lunch or a quick coffee. He looks up from his bag, smiles at you, and then immediately flushes pink again. 

“I’m so, so sorry about earlier, Lyddie, I completely forgot where we were and then the radio mic and oh god, I’m sorry, I’m so-“

You stop his anxious train of thought with a little kiss to the lips. “Please don’t tell me you’ve been fretting over that all day?”

He shrugs, but his eyes answer in the affirmative. You move in for a little hug. 

“Darling, it’s fine. They’d have found out sooner or later, even if I wasn’t quite expecting a mass announcement to your option class.”

“I know, but… fuck. You know what students are like.” He closes the flap on his bag and reaches for his woollen coat and sky-blue scarf, hanging on the coatstand. “Evan told me that - and I quote - our ‘shenans’ had completely derailed his queer theory workshop group, because they wouldn’t - and I quote again - ‘shut the fuck up about it’.”

He switches off his desk lamp and you both move into the hallway, Ben turning back to lock his door. You stroll down the corridor and around the corner towards the stairs that lead to the main entrance.

“I should probably warn you,” you offer, “that you might hear some rumours about you leaving.”

He turns abruptly, looking completely lost. 

“Remember you walked past my classroom today? Well, my seminar group asked me if I was staying, because of us. I said I didn’t know…and then one of them asked if you were going to leave when my year was done.”

His eyes widen. 

“And you said…?”

You have no idea if your answer is what he would have wanted you to say to them. 

“And I said no, I don’t know, haven’t got there yet, etc.” You exhale. “I just worried that you might hear it back once it’s been filtered through the student rumour mill a few times.”

Ben reaches for your hand as you reach the door of the building, giving it a squeeze. He’s quieter, not saying much but continuing to hold your hand as you walk with him towards the staff secure bike shelter, where he unlocks his bicycle and pops his messenger bag in one of the panniers on the back.

“Oh!” he exclaims as he finishes affixing his bike lights, “I do have some good news.”

You raise your eyebrows expectantly. 

“Lino’s had ONE table left on Valentine’s Day. Now, admittedly it’s at 5pm but if you’re okay with an early dinner…”

“Early dinner means more time at home with you for, um, dessert?”

He rolls his eyes, smiles, and gives you a soft kiss before putting on his bike helmet. Errant curls stick up here and there through the vents in the blue plastic and you melt all over again. 

“I’ll see you at your place? Hope you’re ready for my famous enchiladas!”

You nod and wave before turning in the opposite direction towards the pedestrian route, leading off campus and towards your street. 

As you walk, you find it difficult to shake off the memory of how quiet he had become after you told him about the students and their questions. Would he have answered them differently? 

Regardless of how happy and comfortable and forever your relationship feels right now, you know deep down it’s far too early to talk about the future in that much detail. You don’t want him to think you’re asking him to make a call - make a commitment - that he’s probably still a long way off even thinking about.

You also know, though, that there’s an invisible countdown to the day you’ll need to have the conversation, and that it started running the moment you first kissed. 

“Lyddie? You ready? Gotta go, my love.”

Ben calls to you from your living room. You’re standing in front of the full length mirror in your bedroom, stomach twisting with nerves ahead of your public lecture, and you wish to God you looked…well, better. 

Your slides are prepped. Your notes are ready. You’ve run through the talk’s outline with Ani as well as Ben. “You got this,” you murmur to yourself, and try to suppress the voice that wants to chime in with a jibe about your body, your grey hairs, your wrinkles. 

You blot your lipstick and emerge into the living room. “Okay, let’s go.”

Ben turns, mouth slightly open, and raises his eyebrows as his gaze takes you in from head to toe. 

You tend to wear skirts and dresses when you teach. But for this talk, for whatever reason, you’ve pulled out a scarlet red pantsuit, high-waisted pants cut slim to the leg and tapering to end just above the ankle, jacket with wide lapels and long enough to end just below your ass. Underneath, a vintage-style cream satin blouse, buttoned to the neck and a black velvet ribbon tied under the collar in place of a necktie. 

Black velvet pumps on your feet, oversized brass earrings, a vintage brooch your grandmother had given you on your lapel, and a slick of Lady Danger across your mouth. 

He runs a thumb over his lower lip. 

“Oh, god, it’s shit, isn’t it? I should have known I couldn’t get away with this, not with my fat arse and stupid tummy and ugh, it’s like I don’t realise how shit I actually look until -”

“LYD!”

You take a step back. Ben didn’t yell, exactly, but you’ve never heard him speak so firmly to you. 

His face softens and he moves to hug you. “Aw, god, Lyd, I’m sorry. I’m sorry, it’s just - please stop picking holes in yourself. Please. You do it so often, it’s like an involuntary response.” 

He kisses the top of your head. “I’d never lie to you, Lydia. So believe me when I say: you look fucking incredible in that.”

You giggle, head resting against his chest. “You’re just saying that.”

He breaks away, meets your gaze, and sighs. “I said I don’t lie. And I say you look…” his eyes flit up and down your body appreciatively. “You look perfect. Smart, and stylish, and so goddamned sexy I don’t know how I’m going to get through watching you in that for an hour.”

You burst out laughing. “Alright, darling man. You’ve convinced me. ALLONS-Y!”

You steal a glance at your watch as you reach the last paragraph of your paper. For once in your life, you’ve got your timing spot on. 

“To bring this talk to a close, let’s situate these visual representations of revolutionary military masculinities across painting and print can help to shift our understanding of what it meant to literally embody the values of the French Revolution and the Napoleonic empire.” 

The final slide. The final points. A confident “Thank you.” And, to your delight, sustained applause in the packed lecture theatre. You look up towards the back rows, dead centre, where Ben, Ani, Evan, Jen, and David had said they’d be sitting - far enough away from the front so that you won’t see them and get distracted, but within a clear line of sight from the podium in case you panic and need some reassurance. 

Ani is pumping their fist in the air, whooping and hollering. Evan is applauding hard, mouthing “YES, GIRL!”

Ben isn’t taking his eyes off you, a huge smile on his face as he applauds and applauds, not showing any intention of stopping. He looks…proud. You look up at him, shrugging and mouthing the words “Was it okay?”

He nods enthusiastically, and mouths back: “You’re fucking amazing.”

When the questions and discussion are over, and the majority of the audience have filed out of the theatre, Ani and Evan come down to the rostrum to invite you and Ben for drinks to celebrate what Evan was calling “your triumph.” 

“I’ll even buy you champagne,” he promises, hugging you tightly. “Well. Maybe one glass. Or two glasses. I’m not made of money.”

“I am there. I can think of nothing better than a glass of champagne right now.” 

Ani grins. “Hey, Lyd? We’ll be at the Lake Bar in the hotel. You guys can just follow us whenever, you probably need to leave stuff in your office anyway. Sound good?”

You turn back to Ani and nod. “Sounds very good. The Lake Bar! Fancy pants.”

The Lake Bar is tiny but formal, the only bar in Barrow’s only hotel and certainly not your usual haunt for drinks with friends. It’s also probably the only place you could get champagne for many miles.

“Text me when you guys are heading out, okay?” 

You nod as they walk up the steps of the lecture theatre and begin to pack up your notes. It’s just the two of you, at last.  

“You okay there, Benjamin? I’m just going to leave this stuff in my office, and then we can -“

Before you can finish your sentence, he’s cupping your face in his big hands and kissing you like a man off to war. You reciprocate, opening your lips gladly when his tongue sweeps over them and moaning softly into his mouth. You can feel the shiver of pleasure that runs through him.

You break away, his hand stroking your cheek affectionately. You reach out to wipe the traces of your lipstick off his mouth.

“So it was okay, then?”

“Yeah, it was okay, I guess.” He laughs, warm and deep, and takes hold of your hand, leading the way quickly up and out of the theatre and in the direction of your office. You giggle as you try to keep up, Ben looking back at you every so often with a huge smile on his face.

You turn on your desk lamp, shuck off your tote bag full of notes, and exhale, stretching your arms and rolling your shoulders. “Fuck, I’m so relieved that’s done. Can I have a congratulatory hug?”

Ben drops his coat on the spare chair and wraps his arms around you, holding you tightly. Your hands feel the stretch of the cotton plaid of his shirt against his broad back, and the sensation goes straight to your core. 

“I’m so proud of you, Lyddie,” he murmurs. “You’re fucking amazing. Watching you do your thing up there, so smart and funny and bright and engaging and -”

You can feel his cock hardening against you, even through his dark jeans. You raise an eyebrow and lean back to look at Ben.

“Um… does the sight of me in full academic flow do it for you, Professor?”

He blushes a little and gives you a flash of his most puppy-dog expression, brown eyes twinkling behind his glasses. “Y’know, I think it does. Especially in this outfit. Fuck, you look so good.”

He tilts his head, and the sensation of his soft mouth and coarse beard against the delicate skin of your neck makes you sigh with pleasure. 

“Tell me.”

He chuckles lightly as he continues to ghost kisses against your throat. “It’s fucking sexy watching your mind work like that,” he says, voice low and warm, as your hands move up his chest to start loosening his tie. “Such an intelligent, gorgeous girl.”

His praise makes your cunt ache for him. You perch on the edge of your desk, the position so familiar from the night of the holiday party a couple of months before, and grab a tissue to wipe off what remains of your lipstick before kissing him hard as you reach for his waistband. He holds you up with one broad hand at your back, as he hastily works your blouse open with the other. 

Ben’s about to slip his fingers under your waistband when this fantasy scenario made real is abruptly interrupted by a cheery, southern English voice greeting you. 

“Hiya!”

“What the FUCK?” Ben swivels around, holding an arm across your chest in a chivalrous attempt at giving you privacy, while trying to buckle his belt with the other. You do up your blouse as best you can and thank the universe that you hadn’t got as far as shedding your pants yet. 

“I thought you’d locked the door,” you mutter, as you stand up and Ben shifts behind you so he can do up his waistband. 

“I thought YOU had locked the door.”

To your astonishment, though, the owner of the cheery English voice doesn’t seem to have realised that he’s interrupted anything, or noticed your hasty efforts to make yourselves decent. 

In fact, he’s kept up a stream of consciousness chatter since he came into your office, oblivious to your and Ben’s panic. When you finally direct your attention to him he’s saying something about Napoleon and pyramids while searching for something in the brown satchel he’s wearing across his body. 

“I…hi?” He pulls out an iPad covered in what look like stickers depicting Egyptian deities and looks up at you, mouth slightly open. 

“Hi. I’m sorry, can you repeat all that, please? We…I mean, I didn’t catch a lot of it. Who - who are you, again?”

The man gives you a lopsided smile. He’s small, angular, and dark, wavy hair parted at the side and falling untidily over his eyes. There’s what can only be described as an aura of chaos surrounding him. 

“I’m Steven!” He seems surprised that he’s having to introduce himself. “I’m a postdoctoral fellow in archaeology - well, now, actually I’m an Egyptologist by trade, in point of fact, but you don’t have an Egyptology department so I’m in archaeology, haha.” He steps towards you, flipping open the cover of his iPad. “I was at your talk just now - really good by the way, really liked some of the paintings you had in the slides - and I thought blimey, wonder if she’s got thoughts on Denon’s Description of Egypt, and then I thought oh well Steven you’ve got it on your iPad don’t you? And I said right well I bet she’d like to talk about that and I looked up your office and-”

Ben has moved to the door of your office and looks pointedly at you over Steven’s head as the postdoc swipes frantically through his files, trying to locate the book in question. “Professor? I’ll be in my office, whenever you’re finished with, um, Steven.”

“Aha! Here it is in all its glory.” Steven has found the digitised copy of the huge, early nineteenth-century study of Egypt, undertaken to document the expedition led by Napoleon in the late 1790s. You smile politely and shrug in Ben’s direction as he sighs and heads in the direction of his office. 

You’d managed to keep your chat to a minimum, in part by promising to meet Steven during your office hours that coming week. A familiar silhouette appears at your open door.

“You finished talking Egyptology, Lyd?” Ben leans against the doorframe. 

“I am. He’s a sweet kid, really. I mean, I don’t think he’s that young, but…” You give your head a little shake, as if resetting yourself. “Anyway. Let’s go. I’m surprised Evan hasn’t left us some furious voice notes.”

Ben steps into your office, shutting the door very carefully behind him and swiping the air to dismiss the idea as he strides towards you. “Pfffft. They’ll be alright, they’re in a bar.”

You wrap your arms around his neck, twirling the curls at the nape of his neck around your fingers. “Darling, we’re already running very late…”

“So?” He guides you back to sit on the edge of your desk and resumes his trail of kisses down the side of your neck. 

“So…” You pull him close to you, fingers hooked inside his waistband, and moan as his hands rove up your body, grabbing handfuls of you through the silk of your blouse. 

He quirks an eyebrow and smiles, looking down at your fingers already working to undo his belt buckle. “You want to stop, Lyd, and we’ll stop. Do you want to stop?”

You lean in and kiss him as you discard your suit jacket, push yourself further back on the desk, and guide his hands under your own waistband.  

“Don’t you fucking dare stop.”

“How many drinks have we had now? Two?!” Jen looks at her phone and shakes her head. “I’m starting to worry.”

“I’m not,” Evan mutters darkly over the rim of his glass. “I’m gonna win our bet, Jennykins.” He shifts his gaze towards the door of the hotel bar. “Aha! Right on cue.”

He leads the group in a slow, sardonic hand-clap as you and Ben walk sheepishly over to your table, apologising profusely as you take off your coats and hats. 

“Guys, I’m so sorry!” You settle into a cosy leather chair beside Jen. “A postdoc called to my office to talk about the Egyptian campaign and…”

Jen looks at you, then at Ani, who looks at David, who looks at Evan, who casts an appraising eye over Ben. 

“Well, I’ll take that twenty bucks now, Jennifer. And Benjamin? You owe each of us a drink.”

“Me?” Ben looks incredulous. “Why?!”

Jen pats her old friend’s arm and shakes her head sympathetically. “Hon, your shirt isn't tucked in properly and Lydia seems to have lost her little necktie. Be real.”

Ben’s ears turn a deep pink as he stands up and fishes for his wallet.

He’s up very early on Valentine’s Day, the looming deadline for his report and funding application pulling him, reluctantly, out of your arms and your bed. 

You stir under the comforter, propping yourself up to watch him dress. You bite your lip as he pulls on his white undervest, admiring the way the ribbed cotton fabric fits so beautifully over the solid breadth of his torso and tummy. He slips on a pale blue shirt, leaving it open as he looks for his pants. 

You can’t help yourself. “Ooof.”

Ben turns around as he grabs his pants, and quirks a smile at you. “Ooof?”

“Just like what I see, that’s all. Ooof.”

He grins as he sits down on the edge of the bed. “I look forward to hearing more about this later, Lyddie.”

You reach around and wrap your arms around his middle, kissing the back of his neck. “Happy Valentine’s, darling.”

In truth, you didn’t mind the extra couple of early morning hours on your own, as it gave you time to finish and wrap Ben’s gift before heading to work. You’re brushing your teeth when you hear your door buzzer sound. 

“Delivery for, uh, Lydia?” It’s barely 9am on Valentine’s Day and the delivery guy already sounds like he’s in the throes of an existential crisis. 

You run down to the main door and sign for your delivery: a perfect bouquet of palest pink camellias, wrapped in brown paper. You smile as you inhale their scent, and immediately put them in a vase. 

LYDIA: Thank you for the flowers, love. They’re perfect. And camellias! You really didn’t have to.

BEN: No flowers for my girl on Valentine’s? Who do you think I am?!😉

BEN: (I read an article about how environmentally-unfriendly roses are at this time of year and they suggested camellias. I’m so glad you like them.)

LYDIA: I love them. And I love you.

Before you leave for work, you take one camellia bloom from the vase and cut it slightly shorter. You wrap the stem in moist paper towels, then in plastic wrap, and place it carefully in a ziploc bag to bring to your office.

“Check her out. Fuck, I love her.”

Over coffee, Ani is showing you photos they’ve got from Cass, who received her enormous Fuck Heteronormative Capitalism cookie bright and early that morning. In one, she’s holding up the heart-shaped biscuit triumphantly; in another, she’s snapped it in half with a raging expression; and finally, there’s one of her eating an enormous chunk of it, face slightly smeared with half-melted chocolate chips and frosting. 

“Aww!”

Ani stares at you. “What?”

“I don’t think you’ve ever actually said that in front of me.” You smile gently. “I’m so happy for you two. Looks like Valentine’s really is changing you, huh…”

“You shut the fuck up right now or I will lick that ridiculous cupcake you’ve got.”

They’re pointing aggressively at the college canteen’s special baked offering for the big day, a red velvet cupcake topped with an extraordinary amount of frosting and covered in edible red glitter.

You chuckle and stick a finger in the frosting, picking up a generous amount before popping it in your mouth. “Aha! Touché.” Your phone lights up with an incoming call from Ben, and you swipe to answer with your clean hand.

“Hi, love! You okay? You must be really up against it if you can’t even come for coffee…”

“Uh… yeah. It’s…yeah.”

You get up from your seat, mouthing to Ani that you’ll be back, and move into the hallway. “Ben? What’s wrong?”

He exhales. “They’ve asked for another section to be added to the proposal by tomorrow. I thought I could get it out of the way quickly but then I realised it needed more data and I’m trying to find that and put the details in and it’s just complicated and I dunno it’s not really hanging together and -”

“Ben? Breathe.”

He inhales and exhales slowly. His voice is quiet and hesitant.

“I don’t think I can get it done by five, Lyd. I’m - fuck. I’m so fucking sorry. I’m so disappointed in myself, and I’ll try so hard to make this up to you, I promise.”

You lean against the wall as a group of chattering students ambles past. “Darling. There’s nothing to make up to me, nothing at all. We’ll have dinner at the weekend or something, I’ll see you later tonight, it’ll be perfect.” 

He’s silent for a moment, and you can almost feel his disappointment through the phone.

“Ben? Honestly, I don’t mind.”

He sighs. “Okay. I love you very much, you know?” 

“I do. And I love you very much too. I’ll pop by with some coffee later, okay?”

You hang up and rejoin Ani in the staff lounge. 

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah…” You’re thinking, trying to formulate a plan. “Hey - what are you doing around five this evening?”

The desk light is on in Ben’s office when you call by later that evening, but there’s no sign of him. You peer through the glass panel, and there he is: sitting cross-legged on the rug in front of his desk, printed-out drafts of the various sections of the proposal spread out in front of him and a pot of coloured highlighter markers to hand. 

His tie is loosened, top collar buttons undone, and his brown-framed glasses have fallen forward on his nose. From the looks of things, he’s been running his hands through his hair a lot, curls standing on end and falling this way and that, the light catching the streaks of silver that pepper his dark hair. 

He looks tired, but he breaks into a wide smile when he sees you and pushes himself up to standing as you enter the room. You place the large insulated bag and jute grocery tote you’ve been carrying on a chair and he wraps you in a warm, tight hug. 

“Is it weird that I really needed this hug?” he mumbles into the crown of your head. 

You smile and breathe in his familiar scent: more top notes of coffee today, the spicy undertone of his cologne, the clean smell of his shower gel - your shower gel, actually - and the hints of paper and pencils that seem to be part of his olfactory essence. 

“Not weird at all.” You pull away and look at him, gently caressing the side of his face. “I hope you’re hungry, by the way.”

Ben looks puzzled as you reach for the two bags, unzipping the insulated carrier and flooding the office with the delicious scent of good Italian food. 

“Lyddie, what the fuck is going on?”

You reach into the jute bag and retrieve two plates, two tumblers, some cutlery, and a bottle of red wine, placing them on Ben’s desk. 

“If Ben Morales can’t come to Lino’s, then Lino’s will come to Ben Morales. Okay if I move some of these papers, love?”

He nods, brow furrowed as he tries to make his overworked brain understand. You shift his work materials out of the way and lay out two table settings on one side of the desk. 

“Mixed mushroom fettucine, right?” Ben nods again, and you place the takeaway container on one of the plates. “And the carbonara for me, and some sides of green salad and that gorgeous focaccia they do… Okay! Sit.”

Ben pulls a chair up to the desk and opens the container of pasta, sighing happily at the aroma. You open the wine and pour a small glass each, and are ready to settle down to your own meal when you realise you’ve forgotten something. 

“Shit! Wait. Hold on.” You reach again into the tote bag and pull out two of your vintage candlesticks, cheap finds from thrift stores over the years, as well as a pack of tall white candles and some matches. Their soft light flickers against the walls of books, illuminating the lines and contours of your faces as you share this most idiosyncratic and intimate of Valentine’s dinners. 

Ben raises his glass, and you clink yours off it. “How… how?”

You shrug, twirling some linguine around your fork. “I promised Ani I’d cover for them at the next open day if they drove me over to Lino’s. The guys over there were only too glad to box up the food as a takeout - especially when they heard who it was for.”

Ben sips his wine. “I still don’t know what I did to deserve you. And I still feel bad that our first Valentine’s Day plans were a bust.” 

You reach for his hand, rubbing your thumb over his tattoo. “You deserve everything good because you’re you. Our plans weren’t a bust - we’re still having dinner, aren’t we?” He smiles as he concedes the point. 

“And… first Valentine’s Day, hmmm?” You raise your eyebrows.

Ben looks into your eyes as he turns your hand over to hold it in his broad palm. There’s a voice inside him that wants to tell you straight out, here and now, that he wants this for the rest of his life, the rest of your lives: you, him, an “us”, forever. 

But there’s another, louder voice that tells him it’s still a bit too early for that. He doesn’t want to spook you, or make you think he’s asking for some kind of commitment so soon. 

So he just raises his eyebrows and grins at you. “First of many, I hope?”

His key turns in the door at about 10pm. You pop your head round the door of the living room as he’s walking down his hallway, coat and bag already discarded near the front door. 

“Is it…?”

“It is…done. And sent.” He does a series of air punches as he saunters towards you, and you wave your arms in the air with delight before leaning in for a kiss, taking his hands, and pulling him gently towards the living room.

“So - there are about two hours of Valentine’s Day left. Not that expressing and celebrating love is a one-day affair, of course.”

“Of course!” he nods with exaggerated seriousness, before his expression shifts to one of surprised delight when he sees the candles flickering around his living room, the bright fire that’s burning in the small stove, and the champagne on the table.

The soft light catches his sparkling eyes. “Oh, you’re too cute, Lyddie.”

“But if you’re too tired…”

He pulls you to him and kisses you hard, hands gliding down the silk fabric of the vintage robe you’re wearing and seeking out handfuls of you along the way.

“I will take that as a ‘no, I am not too tired, Lyd’.”

He arches an eyebrow and takes off his glasses, the lenses already a little fogged up. “Definitely not too tired.” He looks you up and down, admiring the loose folds of the printed silk. “That’s a beautiful thing.”

“Picked it up for next to nothing in a second-hand shop years ago.” You preen a little to show it off. “You sure you’re not too tired?” 

He nods solemnly, and you undo the belt of the robe, letting it fall open as you stand in front of him. 

“Oh, my god.” Ben moves close to you, slipping his long fingers under the edge of the robe to reveal the soft flesh of your bare shoulders and the full, plush outline of your naked breasts. “Oh, fuck me.”

“That is indeed the plan, love.”

He pauses and chuckles, then eases the rest of the robe off you and places it on the armchair before exploring the contours and creases and folds of your bare form with his gentle fingertips. His mouth is open a little, as if he’s astonished by the sight of you: illuminated in candlelight. Soft. Warm. Curvy. Inviting.

“You’re the most beautiful fucking thing I’ve ever seen,” he murmurs. “Let’s go to bed.”

You tilt your head in the direction of the fireplace and the cosy fire burning in the stove. He sees the soft blankets and pillows laid out on the rug in front of the hearth, and he smiles and wiggles his eyebrows suggestively. You start to undress him, loosening his tie and helping him out of his shirt and pants. 

He moves as if to take off his undervest and boxer briefs and you still his hands. “Uh… maybe keep the vest. For the moment.”

The light from the stove casts shadows over you, body writhing on the blankets as Ben works another orgasm from you with a quirk of his thick, talented fingers. 

He’s focused his attention on you, on your pleasure, since you’d stretched out together in front of the hearth. “It’s only fair,” he’d whispered, kissing your neck and collarbones, his warm, solid frame resting above you. “Want to show you how much I love you - all of you.”

With his mouth and fingers leading the way, he had taken you on a kind of guided tour of your own body, praising every bit of you as he went. The curve of your hips. The specific shape of your mouth. The softness of your belly. The strength of your thighs. The line of your neck. The velvet weight of your breasts when he holds them in his big hands.

He sucked lightly on your nipples, tracing his thumb over the pebbled skin. “These are spectacular tits, Lyd. Better than I’d ever imagined.”

You’d laughed and wound your fingers through his hair. “Did you often imagine what my tits were like before you actually got to see them, or…”

He groaned in embarrassment, burying his head against your chest. “Maybe a little.” He lifted his face slightly and looked up at you. “I was admiring respectfully. You can’t blame me, they’re fucking amazing.”

He quickly worked his way down your body, running his mouth and tongue over the soft flesh of your middle and settling himself between your thighs before reaching his hand up to part the wet folds of your pussy, sighing happily as he did so. 

“And this is…so beautiful.” 

He trailed two fingers along the wet seam, slipping the tips into your cunt, before they were replaced by his lips and tongue.

One orgasm. Two. And now, what was this - three? 

You whine with need. “Please, baby. Want you now.”

He shifts his body on top of yours and kisses you deeply as you wrap your legs around him, then leans in to whisper in your ear.

“Can I roll you over and take you from behind?”

You kiss him again before shifting onto your front, enjoying the sensation of the soft blankets against your naked breasts and belly. Ben grabs another pillow and places it under your head. His weight on top of you is warm and grounding, the broad span of his shoulders eclipsing yours.

He brings his lips to the back of your neck as he gently slips inside with a long, low moan, feeling the plush flesh of your ass against him as he bottoms out. Even as he starts to move, even as he picks up the pace and fucks you harder, he’s ever the conscientious, considerate lover. Every now and then he leans in to ask if you’re okay, if it feels good for you, to tell you how beautiful you are, and to remind you how much he loves you.

You can tell he’s close, and you know another peak is building in you. You reach up and pull one of the cushions from under your head. 

“Can you pull back just for a second? Wanna lift my hips up and…”

He does as he’s asked and you slip the cushion under your hips, adjusting yourself until you hear him groan with pleasure and you know it’s just the right angle for the two of you. Ben slips a hand under you to cup your breast as he fucks you hard, pulling one final climax from you just as he cries out your name and spills inside you.

He pulls out and reaches to turn you round, bringing your bodies flush together and covering your face with soft kisses as you run your fingers through his damp hair. You drag up one of the blankets to cover your bodies, and you lie there, entwined together exchanging gentle kisses in the glow of the fire.

Disentangled and cleaned up, the two of you nestle together on the couch to drink some champagne: you back in your robe, Ben in a soft old t-shirt and flannel pyjama pants. 

“I’m sorry this isn’t more glamorous, Ben.”

He cuddles you closer. “Best night ever, and it’s all down to you.”

He puts his glass on the side table and reaches beside the couch to retrieve a small gift bag. “Happy Valentine’s, my love. I only wish I could give you everything.”

You smile and shake your head. “I’ve got everything I need.”

The gift bag contains a rectangular jewellery box and what feels like a gift-wrapped book. “I should explain why there’s no card,” Ben says, looking a little anxious. “They were all just a bit… cringey. Is that the word? They just weren’t you. So… the book is a gift but also a card. Kind of. If that makes sense. Does that make sense?”

You kiss him lightly and open the paper to reveal what looks like a mid twentieth-century hardback book, wrapped in a bright blue dust jacket. You laugh when you look at the author’s name and title:

H.E. BATES

LOVE FOR LYDIA

“You know I’ve never actually read this?”

Ben smiles broadly, his eyes crinkling. “Neither have I, but… well. It’s self-explanatory.”

You open the book and read the inscription on the inside. 

To Lyddie, for whom my love would fill countless volumes. B x

Tú

que ayer sólo eras toda la hermosura

eres tambien todo el amor, ahora.

You

who were merely all beauty yesterday

are today all love, as well

J.L. Borges, ‘Sabados’ (1923)

“I know it’s a little bit soppy.”

“Soppy?” You’re wiping away tears with the sleeve of your robe. “Ben, this is - I don’t have words, it’s beautiful. Perfect, in fact.”

“Do you want to open the other one?” He gestures towards the jewellery box, resting on your lap.

“Ohh, baby.” Inside is a fine gold chain with a little gold disc hanging from it, no more than a centimetre and a half in diameter. It’s delicately engraved with your initials, arranged in a sort of cypher design. 

It is elegant, beautiful, and you can’t quite believe that someone would love you enough to even think of a gift like this, let alone give it to you. The inner doubts about whether you ‘deserve’ this kind of love are mostly under control these days, but never too far from the surface.

“It’s so perfect, darling, it’s… It’s…it’s too much, Ben, I don’t -“

“Don’t you dare say you don’t deserve this.” He looks deadly serious. “Do you want to try it on?” 

The gold feels warm against your skin, and you admire the way it reflects the candlelight as you lean in and kiss him before standing up and fetching a gift box that you’d hidden behind the TV. 

“Okay, now it’s your turn, Benjamin.” He takes the gift box and carefully takes off the lid to reveal something neatly wrapped in tissue paper underneath. 

You settle back beside him on the couch. “I really hope you like this, and that you don’t think it’s inappropriate. But - tell me if it is, okay?” 

He nods, a slightly suspicious look in his eyes, and begins to fold back the layers of tissue paper to reveal a crisp, white cotton poplin shirt with a camp-style collar decorated with red embroidery. His initial uncertainty rapidly gives way to recognition as he lifts the shirt out of the box.

A little while ago, not long after you had officially got together, you had been chatting one evening about the family photographs on display in his living room. Your gaze had settled again on the photo of his father as a young man, so uncannily similar to his son. 

“Other than the hair and the fact that your eyes are exactly the same as your mother’s, you’re a carbon copy of him. You just need a similar shirt and you could recreate the image.”

Ben had picked up the photo so you could look at it in more detail together. “He had this shirt for years. It’s a traditional style, but they come in all sorts of variations. His was gorgeous, though - that embroidery was like a dark red, I think. I loved it when I was a kid and he wore it, he just looked so cool.” He’d smiled warmly at the image of Diego Morales, captured forever in his youthful prime. “Fuck, I miss him so much.”

You leaned in and cuddled him. “Do you have one? Of the shirts, I mean”, you’d asked, and Ben had shook his head. 

“Never found one that was as nice as Dad’s.” 

It is a relatively simple design - short sleeved, button-up, with four pockets, two on each side - but you have added embroidered details to each of the pockets, to match the collar. The shirt itself was an easy enough job - after doing your research on the exact style and its history, you’d made it one Saturday when Ben was doing an open day at the college and you could lock yourself away in your apartment. The embroidery had been more challenging, especially as you were trying to approximate what you could make out of the pattern on Diego’s shirt. 

Like Ben, you were unable to find a Valentine’s card that didn’t make you want to vomit. So you have, instead, stitched a tiny message along the fabric facing just inside the collar - his initials, your initials, and the year.

Every stitch and every seam was, in its own way, a tangible expression of how much he meant to you.

Ben is silent as he looks at the shirt, taking in the details. He runs his fingers along the hand embroidery and feels the small pearl buttons. You worry that this might actually be too much - too intimate a gift for so early in a relationship, too close to the grief he felt for his father - and that you have got this horribly, desperately wrong.

“B-Ben?”

He turns slowly to you, tears in his eyes, the shirt still in his hands. 

“I’m sorry, Ben, I just -“

He places the shirt back in the box and pulls you close to him. He struggles to get the words out. “Thank you. Thank you, Lyd, this is - wow.” He looks at the shirt again and bites his lip. “It’s the most beautiful gift I think I’ve ever been given.”

He notices the tiny lettering inside the collar. “Oh, fuck me. You made this?!”

You bury your head against him, mumbling into his chest. “Yes is that weird oh god is it weird?”

He laughs and wraps an arm around you. “How could you making me a version of my dad’s guayabera be weird? It’s… fuck. I love it. And I love you. So fucking much.”

“I’m so glad you like it, darling.”

His gaze is earnest as he reaches for your hand. “It means the world to me. You mean the world to me.” 

You take the box and place it on the coffee table so that you can cuddle in against his broad, warm chest, bringing an arm around his middle as he enfolds you in his strong, safe embrace.

You mean the world to him. He means the world to you. Isn’t that all that matters?

The countdown to the hard decisions might be rapidly running out, but for tonight, at least, they could wait. You close your eyes and focus on the reassuring rhythm of Ben’s heartbeat. 

(bookshelf divider by @animatedglittergraphics-n-more; other dividers by @cafekitsune)

Further A/N:

The song Lydia sings a line of to Ben after their morning exertions is 'Just A Little Lovin'', by Dusty Springfield.

The shirt Ben's dad is wearing, and that Lydia recreates for Ben as his Valentine's gift, is inspired by the traditional guayabera summer shirt that is thought to have originated in either Mexico or Cuba, but is worn throughout Central and parts of South America in the summer months.