#and me thinks it clearly did
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The brain can only hold so much information,, so many memories. It so easily forgets, or misremembers things. After so long, one will forget someone’s voice,, their face. Without any outside factor, such as a video camera, to capture what one wishes to remember, everything begins to get distorted the second you see/ experience it; worsening over time like some horrible disease.
That being said, do you thing Wukong knew this? Even if it was relatively early on, (like in the brotherhood) he may had begun to notice his memory is one of a mortal’s- limited and faulty?
Perhaps that’s why he painted those giant murals of his long dead companions. Because he felt his mind slipping and he just can’t forget them. Perhaps that’s why he hoards every little thing, to pick something up and maybe recall a thing or two about it. Maybe he’s got large chunks of memory gone forever.
Maybe he doesn’t even realize this- maybe the distortion of memory goes unnoticed.
Or maybe this doesn’t happen because he’s fictional, magical, ancient monkey. But it’s a fun to think about :]
#hi I’m Spoofy and I love unreliable narrators#if you couldn’t tell by now#with me defending Macaque and Azure and swk for all having different stories for how things when down#bc I mean look at them they all clearly fully believed what they /thought/ they remembered correctly#like guys memories naturally distort over time#or completely fake menories pop into your brain and you’re stuck believing they’re real#and these guys are ANCIENT#there was so so much time to allow this to happen#and me thinks it clearly did#lmk analysis#Spoofy rambles
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we were sitting on the floor and i was cutting out tiny pictures to make a collage for a friend's birthday. you were on your phone and you laughed about something, and i was still in love with you then, so i asked what had you giggling.
"sorry. i was just..." you took a moment and went back to texting. "i was telling someone about how you're afraid of the dark."
i'm afraid of the dark because something bad happened. "oh." i felt a little slinky of shame crawl down my throat.
you glanced up, and maybe it showed on my face, because you rolled your eyes and held the phone to the side casually so i could see the group chat. "what? was it a secret?"
i looked down to the scissors in my hand. "i just..." no, it's not a secret. it just felt like something private, something serious. saying why would you tell someone that just feels like an accusation. it's unfair. i honestly am not even ashamed of it, it's just a fact about my person that i don't usually share.
what a strange experience. is this a human thing or a generational thing? for our grandparents: did they need to worry about how quickly someone can just... share your personal information? again, i didn't even really have a true objection. what could i say? i want any person in my life to feel they can be honest with their friends. it's not like i said don't tell anyone this.
i cut out another letter to complete the rainbow happy birthday, started hunting for the exclamation mark. i heard you sigh dramatically.
"don't make a big deal about this," you said.
this entire conversation was a pattern for us, and this was when we got to my least favorite part of the pattern. i would get my feelings hurt in some oblique not-technically-terrible way, and then it would be making a big deal about something. you'd get frustrated for me for being soft, but i was born soft. you knew i was soft when you pierced me. it's one of the things that made controlling me so easy.
"i'm not," i felt my voice crack. the question came without my wanting. "why are you guys talking about me?" and why are you saying that thing? why not like - i'm telling them how you're generous and kind and pretty.
you let out this low, tragic groan. "oh my god." you tossed the phone away from your body. "there, see? i just won't talk to them if you don't like it."
the rest of the hour went the way it always went, between us: i said i don't actually mind if you talk to your friends but -, you found a way to call my minor expression of discomfort "being dramatic." you got upset that i had been offended. i ended up apologizing, even though i hadn't actually done anything.
afterwards, you picked up the phone again. after texting for a little bit, you snorted. "okay," you said, "but it is kind of funny you're afraid of the dark. i mean, when you think about it."
#spilled ink#writeblr#i'm trying to write about this really specific and wierd new experience#that i think is specific to the internet generation#where people you trust can just... say whatever??? and while most people are trustworthy#sometimes they'll just like... put ur shit out there????#and the thing is that sometimes it's GOOD - i want you to tell ppl if ur partner is being cruel!!!!!#i want u to be like ''hey is it normal if xyz happens'' ... but stuff like ''she's afraid of the dark''#PARTICULARLY when it's CLEARLY making fun of me....#what is the point of that.#this is huge and complicated and happens outside of romantic relationships too btw#like someone u thought of as a friend will be like . oh did u know she's scared of heights and it's like.#girl why are u fuckin doing that tho?#it's not a SECRET i just ...???????????????????????#and i think that gross feeling of like -- ''i can't REALLY be upset bc there's not a TRUE RULE about this....''#it's just not something talked about. bc it's so specific and yet so complex#bc how could i say like '' this is a violation of trust'' when it... technically I GUESS isn't????????????#idk maybe im just like super sensitive but please tell me in the comments/tags/etc if this is#something u have experienced (a trusted person like spreading ur shit) and if u were cool with it
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nobody tells you that once you've spent time readjusting to a healthier sleep schedule, if you do have a cheeky 'work on art until 3am' night then your body just decides you might as well have perished
#ramble#i can't be doing this i have a commute now#i remember SO CLEARLY thinking 'surely this will not affect me'#plot twist it did#i walked into work this morning not feeling 100% alive and i am NOT in a career where i can be doing that!!!!!!
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despite Laios low self esteem making him think that if he’d been eaten, Chilchuck and Marcille wouldn’t have helped Falin,
theres a small part of me that thinks the reason Chilchuck stayed with the party and went back in the dungeon in the first place was because he didn’t want to leave Laios alone. That Laios was moreso the reason he stayed.
#dungeon meshi#chilaios#OK SORRY. THE DEMONS. I REALLY DID NOT WANT TO LIKE THIS PAIRING. I DIDNT. BUT. HHH. FHFHJFJV. I FEEL CRAZY. LET ME EXPLAIN.#Pre canon it seems Laios is the person Chilchuck is really the closest to#He gets along with Namari and they are probably way better as buddies than he and Laios but#He and Laios seem *closer*#If that makes sense#Laios calls him his first name enough and without any issue or hesitation from Chilchuck#That I sort of inagine its not like. A misunderstanding. Laios is on a first name basis with him for a reason.#He also worries probably more than anyone about Laios#And his biggest criticism of him is that hes “reckless”#he’s comfortable around Laios in a very specific way and so is Laios around him#and in the series he shows many times that he’ll risk his life to protect Laios#Like staying with him to confront the elves because he was worried Laios would say something stupid#Hes the first one to run up to him when Falin punches him#I mean I think he was also going back for Falin like its not like I think he doesn’t care about her or anything#He clearly does#But I don’t know if he’d have gone back if Laios hadn’t#And if Laios had been eaten I think he wouldn’t have even had to be convinced by Falin#I also think Marcille would’ve gone back for him but probably more bc Falin was going back#Like sort of a reversed thing#AGAIN not that I don’t think she cared about Laios at the beginning either#But she before the story she was mostly Falin’s friend who knew Laios through Falin#She only really got to know him when Falin got eaten and they had to do a team building exercise#Though now I sort of want to see an actually reversed scenario#Bc we also know that Chilchuck is sort of uncomfortable around Falin (said in relationship chart)#So I would love to see them be forced into a team building exercise to find a person they both love the way Laios and Marcille were
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the lovers, reversed
(aka I'm still freaking out about Jou)
#art#ride kamens#i am about to go off on wild speculation so excuse me in advance#I HAVEN'T PLAYED THE EVENT YET so this could all be just absolutely nothing but i gotta get it out#(still debating if i wanna save the event for after i finish part 2 or not...)#this is my last chance to throw wacky theories out there okay#i've just. been thinking a lot about the riders the characters are based on and how they relate to their different classes#like the choices seemed SO random when they were first revealed but they do mostly make sense when you think about it#to the point where i actually do feel like i should've been able to call ooo for ambition. damnit.#however i did always feel like jou was a bit of an outlier and now i'm wondering if that's gonna be like...a thing#idk man just the fact that he's gonna have a special double card and bond henshin with taiten is nuts to me#especially since we're clearly on the verge of SOMETHING happening with soun and uryuu#what does it mean. WHAT DOES IT MEAN#what does this mean for the future of tower emblem#and it hasn't escaped me that there is no class associated with evolution (YET)#and thinking about who jou is based on i'm just like#(waves hands) YOU KNOW?!#(plus i'm still like WHAT DOES THIS MEAN FOR RUI AND HAYATE but that's a separate thing)#i'm gonna try and take my time and not rush through part 2 but i also am SO impatient#i gotta knooooow#given the way my predictions tend to go though i'm either 100% accidentally right about the dumbest thing#or jou is fine but leon fucking dies or something and i'm gonna throw my phone into a lake#HAVE FUN GUYS I GUESS
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もう一回、もう一回
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk art#fushiguro megumi#yuji itadori#itafushi#ryoumen sukuna#megumi fushiguro#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#gomen its hina posts self indulgent art hours#this is fr me first and foremost. any1 else liking it is just a bonus in my eyes#i may not be able to animate but i am so happy with these regardless i think they turned out great :') treat fr Me#rolling girl megumi u mean so much 2 me suddenly#fun fact ! actually the first vocaloid song i ever listened to. stumbled across an audio post on this very tumblr dot com#and it forever changed the course of my taste in music#so it alr has a soft spot in my heart fr tht reason but Also the lyrics Also th whole deal w wowaka and Now w megumi.....#rolling girl u have become too powerful#anyway in th context of canon n megumi choosing to live i am choosing to interpret the song the less depressing way#where the boy represents a saving grace rather than being a personification of miku's char's demons convincing her to end it#n the ending being her deciding to stop fighting on her own n instead accept help from those around her#but i did also want to pay homage 2 the interpretation of him representing her inner demons#so i have redraws of both yuuji And sukuna as the boy#choose ur own adventure if u will#clutches heart why does it fit so WELL what cosmic force decided tht miku and jjk should overlap at all i just wanna talk#clearly something has it out fr me
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i love to see people who are like "you can talk about csa but not around minors that's gross!" like idk how to tell you this but. who do you think is getting csa'd. i'll give you a hint: the first letter in csa does not stand for "adult"
#nnstuff#was browsing the tmnt competition cuz i havent paid attention to it much#and that anon made me laugh#that anon was prolly a kid too but like still. its funny. i dont blame them for thinking that#i just think its funny is all#anyway good on the mod for being very level headed about stuff#they're doing a good job and i'm proud of them even if it's not how i'd handle things- cuz i am an adult who is used to talking about CSA#and they're a kid who is clearly uncomfortable with it and definitely could've responded way worse than they did#csa tw
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hc that haitham was a lil blushy mess😣and then 🗿🗿
#genshin impact#haikaveh#genshinimpact#Alhaitham#kaveh#fanart#they make me go crazy#genshin fanart#its just the angst made them so much tastier#AND TO THINK HAITHAM IS THE ONE PINING FOR YEARS OOOFF#HE JUST DOESNT KNOW HOW TO SHOW HIS LOVE#AND EVEN IF HE DID KAVEH WOULD NOT BELIVE IT#SMART IDIOTS#i mean if you look hard you can clearly see how he has a soft spot for kaveh my boy open ur eyes
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everyone look at this fish i had to draw for my illustration class. for a grade. i am going to get a good grade in therapy salmon, something which is both normal to w
#just did the calculation and this class costs me 8k a semester. btw. money well spent#new york times hire me to do your spot illustrations since i am clearly so fucking good at it. god i hate editorial assigments#skribbles#the worst part is i KNOW im going to go into crit and people r going to be like umm therapy salmon doesnt really fit the vibe of the articl#OK SHUT THE FUCK UP. MAYBE I LIKE DRAWING FISH HAVING MENTAL BREAKDOWNS. HUH. DID YOU EVER THINK OF THAT
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Disgustingly messy and crusty sketch dump but I couldn't get my own terrible theory out of my head and ended up making a bunch of sketches about it. Also at the end a bonus dickbats and Damian doodle bc I was reading an issue of their Batman and Robin run (IDs in Alt)
#dc comics#dc#batfamily#batman#damian wayne#stephanie brown#tim drake#dick grayson#cassandra cain#duke thomas#anyway. zdarsky run sure is something huh?#its still so funny to me that half of 148 was leaked a few days before like someone has it OUT for that book over at bleeding cool ig#i don't necessarily think this theory will come true I'm just imagining how stupid it would be if it did#I'm not super happy with the dialogue in the cass+duke+dick comic but i felt my og dialogue might've read too fanon#mainly just bc cass' last sentence was originally shorter/just ellipses and duke said smthin like ''wait? villain arc?''#which you could easily find in wayne family adventures. even tho it would've been appropriate for this situation 😭#now the dialogue just sounds kind of generic (esp cass') and it's BOTHERING ME AUGHH. this is the comic book fandom panopticon /j#anyway Bruce is in the retirement home in this scenario /j#me n my friends were talking over discord and came up w the cursed scenario that jason is tims robin in this (apart of the 'redemption' arc#-that he's been nail gunned with in this run. god this run is so weird when it comes to jason. like it doesn't outright dislike him-#-like it clearly does damian and (more obviously) cass steph and duke) but the tone of everything w jason is still bizarre#god. anyway yeah i didn't draw him but please picture grown man tank Jason in the robin undies (ala tt 03 but dare i say better)#also the dick being silly sketch was bc the issue i was reading had damian refer to dick as 'jolly'#specifically like ''unreasonably jolly'' or something like that (god i love when ppl find dicks cheerfulness deeply unsettling hehehe)#and i thought it was so funny. bc damian met dick when we has going through his ''bruce is dead'' depression-#-and STILL thought that dick was extremely unserious. he sees happy dick and is like ''what is wrong w you. genuinely''#but at the same time he loves it#i need to stop reading their batman and robin run so scatteredly (or i can just reread nightwing must die...always a possibility)#anyway yeah 👍 bad sketches be upon you#mine
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And this concludes the grand crossover event
(or does it?)
(it does but I was given a great idea for how to solve Gwen's problem :) )
the timeline of previous relevant comics:
[Jeff has a great fashion sense and Peter is the best hooker]
[Jeff is found and fucks are lost]
[bro landed up in the wrong universe and all he got out of it is a lousy bow]
#petvengers#spiderverse#Deadpool#Gwenpool#spiderman 99#wade wilson#gwen poole#miguel o'hara#jeff the land shark#i have a very simple sense of humor#and cute little floofballs swearing a lot is part of it#also i still remeber the ooooold long list of polish swearwords vs english that were mostly translated to just fuck fuck fuck this fuck tha#and still find it amusing#but maybe fuck doesnt make an impression on me since im not an native speaker#but anyway yes i still think the shock instead of fuck is bad#i know why they did it in comics and its actually smart#buuuuut#but in current world context it gets waaaay to close to tiktokification of language#and i fucking hate it#sure it makes sense miguel lives in ubercorporated distopia we are clearly going towards#but just fucking no#fuck fuck fuck#one fuck at a time#swearing
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it mattered because when my brother asked me what if this is the happiest you'll ever be? the best you'll ever get? the thing i felt was fear, not peace. everybody thought you were so perfect for me. even i thought you were "helping me grow". i had to challenge every internal clock. make myself more thoughtful, more kind, more beautiful.
i told my therapist it was good because i like the changes i made and there's something so strong about saying i did that. the problem is that i can like the difference all i want, but i changed for you. something akin to getting your name tattooed, all my progress is stamped with fuck you.
it was the happiest i'd ever been and also the best i'd ever gotten. i would still get in the car and think what the fuck just happened.
#warm up#writeblr#i spent a lot of time picturing our future#how funny to think: in each version of our future#i was never myself#i was someone smarter kinder braver#better adept.#who could navigate the way you shouted and got angry at small things and never fucking believed the best of me#i would never be needy and you'd never get tired of me#people usually talk about how we picture people as being “fixable”. but i assumed i was the problem. my idyllic picture wasn't of you.#it was a version of me that wasn't ill. that needed no extra help. that could be your wife and happy#the fact i wasn't happy was because there is something so wrong inside me. it's always been that way. i convinced myself:#if i stay i can change. if i stay i can make it worth it. i can apologize and fix this. and make us both okay.#for the last year i've been thinking about how you blamed our whole breakup on me. how it was my fault for whatever thing.#and i agreed with you. because of course i did. you'd trained me to believe everything was my fault . that you wanted to love me and i made#it far too hard. that i was always finding ways to ''set you off'.#a few days ago while i was doing something else#i realized that while i was in crisis you told me to fuck off and find someone else to get help. and you never fucking apologized .#you said i made you do that because i wasn't being sensible. i had been crying too hard to speak clearly.#you said: you're doing this to manipulate me.#you forgave yourself for that. i had to forgive you without apology. you said you were right to react that way. and then you were SO#SO annoyed. any time i said: i feel like you aren't nice to me. it is hard to trust that you love me.#i don't think about you that much anymore. but these days when i do: all i can think is that im not sure u ever really understood kindness#you were the cruelest to the people closest to you. and most of the time. that meant it fell to me.
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For the requests: maybe Dash and Spitfire are doing some bonding gaming with Scoots? I'm sure they enjoy some console gaming, but maybe they could be convinced to do some board games as well?
I had to color this in because I loved this idea too much. Scootaloo gets some help from Spitfire and learns an important lesson about strategy and playing the long game.
Poor Rainbow gets demolished.
#Rainbow - honestly what did you expect?#You can't let Spitfire and Scootaloo team up and expect not to be beaten swift and quickly#Honestly this is more of a Rainbow vs Spitfire#with little Scootaloo being oblivious. She's just here for the fun#I can absolutely see them do board games#And both Spitfire and Rainbow take it so serious because they are in it to WIN#it's the Wonderbolt drive they all have#Ok but this was such an adorable prompt#I love love love the three of them...#I left it open in the image but I love to think of Spitfire as a sort of step-mom/not really yet but kinda surrogate mom#in the in between state of 'this kid clearly means more to me and I'm spending more time with her than others'#but she's not officially part of the family and a mom (or rather dad) yet#spitdash#spitfire#mlp spitfire#rainbow dash#scootaloo#mlp scootaloo#mlp#my art#requests#ask chim
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Stop fighting me and together, let us fight them.
#ropedit#tropedit#rop spoilers#rings of power#the rings of power#ringsofpowerdaily#ringsofpowersource#halbrand#galadriel#sauron#isildur#estrid#haladriel#rop s1#rop s2#rop 1x05#rop 2x04#parallels#quote#*#isildur with the reassuring response trying to overcome estrid's attempt at distancing herself#galadriel and halbrandron meanwhile on a whole other path of feeling cast out together and relating through that#(i didn't include the brimby scene when sauron is like “she cast me out when she discovered the truth” bc it didn't fit the vibe of the set#(but that's the endpoint of manipulation and using shared ostracization as a means of us vs the world)#(in a way i wonder if galadriel planted that idea in sauron's head since she's the one who first roped him into a 'partnership')#(how much of an actual one is up to interpretation)#(brimby isn't head first running towards a suspect individual like galadriel did (lbr) he's just pure and utter confusion)#(complete good faith like yeah okay i'll receive you with an open heart my friend why would anyone cast you out idgi)#(i could write an essay clearly i'm thinking about this way too much lol)
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psa that the day there are no jgy stans left on tumblr dot com is the day i am dead
but rest assured i'll go to my grave exactly as i lived: obnoxiously proclaiming to everyone within earshot how great lianfang-zun is. narratively, metaphorically, spiritually. sexually, too, like why limit myself. i like to keep my options open
#the spirit of su minshan possessed me for a minute there but like. i'm fine with it#jin guangyao#he did crimes??? good for him 😌#editing this post to add that while the tone here is clearly joking#i really am fundamentally still engaged with this fandom#and with this book#almost exlcusively because of my enjoyment of jgy#even xiyao is secondary for me like i love it and i'm ride or die for it obvs#but jgy as a character is the main draw for me. and he would have me by the throat even if there was no zewu-jun#(tho i think jgy's life would be more depressing for his absence obviously)#but he is just. /clenches my fists!!!#THE most compelling character in the story and i cannot stop thinking about him!! cannot will not!!#who else in this book has his range? who else can be the doe-eyed idealist AND the spy with blood on his hands who ends a war?#who else is two different greek tragedies and at least two separate shakespearean tragedies rolled into one antagonist#an antagonist who but for the POV of the novel could very easily have been the protagonist#whose moral event horizon is so deeply entwined with his own trauma and abuse that there is no way to meaningfully separate#the violence he does to others from the systemic violence that was done to him for his whole life?#who else in this book manages to get five separate sect leaders utterly obsessed with him no matter how you choose#to interpret that obsession?#no one!!! that's who!!#ain't no one else in the jianghu doing it like lianfang-zun and that's just a goddamn fact
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It really is so fun that Essek started mentioning "my partner" like every three lines because he probably doesn't actually get the chance to talk about it that often.
I think there can often be an impulse when you really care about someone to want to shout from the rooftops all the great things you feel and notice about them, and Essek isn't really in a position to do that. The people who he can talk freely to already know him and Caleb, and the people who don't know them likely aren't safe to tell real personal details to. It's one thing to fabricate a parental relationship knowing that there isn't someone to trace that to, but it's an entirely different thing to tell someone honestly about the people you love when any small detail might put them in danger if it fell into the wrong hands.
The Hells are safe to say that kind of thing to—perhaps mostly on a meta level, in that the DM is aware that they are the protagonists—and they also characteristically tend to offer a listening ear to anyone they meet, and I think it's delightful that Essek actually recognized and responded to that.
#got to infodump about dunamancy got to gush about his partner got to go sleep in his own room and call caleb#he had such a nice evening 😌 in his lane. unbothered. moisturized. privy to no other problems. good for him 😌#cr spoilers#critical role#cr meta#like loooook there is such a stereotype of people in relationships being like 'my partner/gf/bf' all the time in a way that's annoying#but also I do think it's very sweet particularly when it's clearly not like. a symptom of a honeymoon phase#considering they were together in the uk'otoa episodes they've been together for like six or seven years at this point!#also I did think about this in relation to my commentary about caleb abstaining from speaking about people he loves#as a measure of care and protection#and it does make me fucking feral. augh they are so great
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