#and me in the process

[wornkindnessa]

"commander cody has already submitted your transfer, im sorry it is for your safety and security that we go our separate ways."

A rumor at best, she was sure of it, not that she even knew exactly what had been said or laid out. But considering his position it made sense. He was supposed to set an example, fit into some sort of image. It would not look good for a man who sat on their council to be discovered to have broken the golden rule so to speak. Though that was a tangled web of what she believed, and very little to do with the matter at hand, her own opinions in this case mattered very little. But she did not think the truth of what they were had actually been discovered.

Amelia would also not jeopardize his position, would not make him choose her over the only life and livelihood he has ever known, regardless of what she thought. She isn’t worth that, though she knows he’d say otherwise. She would hold true to that, as she had from the start, but truthfully and maybe naively she had assumed it would be a choice they would come to together, not one made for them. Perhaps this would all hurt less if it had been. “It's a pity that I seemingly don't get a say in the matter.”

There’s a rather bitter edge to her words as she looks away from him, she wants nothing more than to fight against the decision about her that she didn’t make. And she knew he didn’t want it either, it’s written all over him, from the empty shortness of his words to how he stood before her. She wished she could say it wasn’t fair, but it was hard to say that when what was had was supposed to be forbidden. Still it didn’t feel fair.

But maybe this was the better option, painful as it was. He would set himself aflame for her, not that he ever said it, but he didn’t have to. He was a Jedi, and he was still a man who cared deeply. Not that she could say those two weren’t supposed to go hand in hand, but now she was a weakness, a weakness for him, a chink in his armor. One that would be ripped out root and steam if discovered, both by those who would to use and prevent.

In her experience, not that she could speak for the Jedi, people had incredibly short memories. So perhaps, if they kept their heads down, played by the rule book, didn’t make a fuss, this would see itself resolved and they could return to how they had been. That was of course that would be something he would want when this was all said and done, which was a voice she would not allow to grow any louder. This was being done to protect her, protect them, and one storm would not see them broken.

A lifetime of practice of keeping her emotions in check kept her standing tall, kept the tears from falling, but that didn’t mean her eyes weren’t glistening with them when she at long last looked back up at him, giving a small nod. It was all she could muster to say she’ll do as asked, go along without trouble. She had closed some of the distance between them, forcing herself to stop the moment she realized. Every part of her aches to reach out to him, aches of him to give her something to press on the wound now blossoming across her chest. He had her heart, and had held it for some time now, and she would not not be seeing that it was returned to her when she left. Aches for his comfort that she fears will only grow worse. Jedi code be damned none of this was fair.

“For now.” The words are whispered in fear someone might hear them, yet she can hear the sadness that has crept into them. “Our separate ways for now.” Her gaze wordlessly pleading for him to give her something tangible, more than just maybes and light hope to hang onto, anything to soothe. That they would be alright at the end of it all, and she wasn't some foolish girl for thinking so.

[foolfortune]

current mantra

[doccywhomst]

[zaiban2989]

Katsuki having a stroke watching replays of Izuku's fight after the war is won....

all three of these in the same chapter,,

[stil-lindigo]

lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)

if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.

--

no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.

I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.

I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.

If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.

[maelancoli]

Writing Intimacy

i often see writers sharing a sentiment of struggling with writing kiss scenes which honestly bleeds into other portrayals of physical intimacy. i see it a lot in modernized styles of writing popularized by the recent trend in publishing to encourage short, choppy sentences and few adverbs, even less descriptive language. this makes intimacy come across awkward, like someone writing a script or clumsy recounting of events rather than a beautiful paragraph of human connection.

or just plane horniness. but hey, horny doesn't have to be mutually exclusive with poetic or sensual.

shallow example: they kissed desperately, tongues swirling and she moaned. it made her feel warm inside.

in depth example: she reached for the other woman slowly and with a small measure of uncertainty. the moment her fingers brushed the sharp, soft jaw of her companion, eliza's hesitance slid away. the first kiss was gentle when she finally closed the distance between them. she pressed her lips lightly to gabriella's in silent exploration. a tender question. gabriella answered by meeting her kiss with a firmer one of her own. eliza felt the woman's fingers curling into her umber hair, fingernails scraping along her scalp. everything inside eliza relaxed and the nervousness uncoiled from her gut. a warm buzz of energy sunk through her flesh down to the very core of her soul. this was right. this was always where she needed to be.

the first complaint i see regards discomfort in writing a kiss, feeling like one is intruding on the characters. the only way to get around this is to practice. anything that makes you uncomfortable in writing is something you should explore. writing is at its best when we are pushing the envelope of our own comfort zones. if it feels cringy, if it feels too intimate, too weird, too intrusive, good. do it anyway! try different styles, practice it, think about which parts of it make you balk the most and then explore that, dissect it and dive into getting comfortable with the portrayal of human connection.

of course the biggest part comes to not knowing what to say other than "they kissed" or, of course, the tried and true "their lips crashed and their tongues battled for dominance" 😐. so this is my best advice: think beyond the mouth. okay, we know their mouths are mashing. but what are their hands doing? are they touching one another's hair? are they scratching or gripping desperately at one another? are they gliding their hands along each other's body or are they wrapping their arms tightly to hold each other close? do they sigh? do they groan? do they relax? do they tense? are they comfortable with each other or giddy and uncertain? is it a relief, or is it bringing more questions? is it building tension or finally breaking it?

get descriptive with the emotions. how is it making the main character/pov holder feel? how are they carrying those emotions in their body? how do they feel the desire in their body? desire is not just felt below the belt. it's in the gut, it's in the chest, it's in the flushing of cheeks, the chills beneath the skin, the goosebumps over the surface of the flesh. everyone has different pleasure zones. a kiss might not always lead desire for overtly sexual touches. a kiss might lead to the desire for an embrace. a kiss might lead to the impulse to bite or lick at other areas. a kiss could awaken desire to be caressed or caress the neck, the shoulder, the back, the arms etc. describe that desire, show those impulses of pleasure and affection.

of course there is the tactile. what does the love interest taste like? what do they smell like? how do they kiss? rough and greedy? slow and sensual? explorative and hesitant? expertly or clumsily? how does it feel to be kissed by them? how does it feel to kiss them?

i.e. examine who these individuals are, what their motives and feelings are within that moment, who they are together, what it looks like when these two individuals come together. a kiss is not about the mouth. it's about opening the door to vulnerability and desire in one's entire body and soul.

[myclericalromance]

i went to a tiny counterserve diner once and accidentally poured sugar instead of salt all over my hashbrowns and was eating them sadly anyways. the waitress took them away and started making me another one and I tried to protest, but she just snorted and said "we're not catholic here". now every time i'm doing something painful out of obligation i think about how that is not repenting, this body is not a catholic establishment, there is no nobility in suffering.

[qiinamii]

we'll do fine.

[katsinspats]

Thematically appropriate comic for Make a Terrible Comic Day!!

I saw the original post this morning and it made me get out of bed to make something, so thank u Pseudonym Jones mission accomplished

[lichen-soup-scribe]

So, my spouse has been exploring his gender lately; he also just built himself a new laptop. Today he told me that he in an attempt to process some genderfeels through metaphor, he made a post on a trans forum along the lines of: "I'm a lifelong Windows user and I think I'm pretty good at it. I want to find out what Linux has to offer but I'm afraid I wouldn't be any good at it. And how do you choose the right Linux distro, anyway? Do you have to try them all?"

The responses, he said, were a mix of useful advice about feeling out your gender and useful advice about choosing a Linux distro.

I love trans people so much

Edit 4/8, in case you don't see the reblogged additions -- my wife is now going by Eve!

[inkskinned]

having good & true friends will literally save and protect you in a million unfathomable ways. like okay we have written so many times about lovers. but the way a platonic friend laughs and cries with you. the way they hold your hand at 14 years old and at 34. the way they keep a little silver tie to you, touching base over and over and over. how you can go years without talking, only to re-meet and discover: oh shit! you're still cool!

there are people who have been in my life for more than half of it, and i have loved every version of them. do you know how fucking beautiful that is. yeah love will save the world. but the way friends love you is gonna save the you.

[o0kawaii0o]

no mercy 😭

[nutsack90]

goddamnb!!

chill out man!!!

[lotus-pear]

11/20

[linktoo-doodles]

tangible in my arms

gif process!

[hinamie]

in spite of everything, I had fun <3