#and maybe they can't say that to many people but they have each other and that's enough | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

heybaetae · 2 days ago

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hi friends! 👋🏻

i am here with my little 2024 gif wrapped after being tagged by @jkvjimin, @cordiallyfuturedwight, @yooboobies, @taehyunghobi, @jinstronaut, and @btsjk-biased. i didn't expect so many tags, so i appreciate you all for including me and wanting to see me recollect some of the work i shared this year. i'll do so under the cut and leave comments wherever i see fit.

i've seen a couple different ways people have done this, so i'll do a variation of both. i'll list my favorite vs. most popular set per each month + some honorable mentions that i liked or were particularly proud of. feel free to go show any of the mentioned posts some love just as i plan to do with everyone else's some time after i post this!

JANUARY

my favorite - vmin holding hands ↳ because i'm Me and they are insufferable

most popular - vmin in the car

honorable mentions - jikook clowning in the barracks

my recap stops there as i have nothing to show for november and december (with the exception of the yeontan tribute set and what i'll be posting for tae's birthday) as i stopped giffing at the end of october.

you can take a look back at everything else i made in my archive here :)

i don't know what the new year will hold for me as far as posting content goes, but thank you very much to those who never stopped supporting my work this year and the last four years since i started this blog. i've had a lot of feelings this year about my place as a gifmaker here and i've struggled a bit reckoning with the low engagement despite how much i know my work is loved by those who matter and never fail to let me know. i am working on reminding myself of this and i offer the same sentiment to anyone else experiencing the same feelings. you all deserve 100x more than what you get back.

for now though, my queue is gonna continue posting for me for a while. if i can get myself out of this funk by the time bts comes back, then i hope to provide whatever i can when the time feels right.

i think nearly everyone has been tagged to do this by now, but i’ll tag (unless you’ve already done it, just lmk or ignore me) @jung-koook, @kimtaegis, @btsiu, @namchyoon, @kookjinnies, @rjshope and whoever else wants to do this, please do and forward it to me or put it in my tracked tag so i can reblog it!

i love you all. happy new year 💜

#tag game #cc tag game #don't mind how bad that header gif is

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artist-issues · 12 hours ago

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So if you believe every biblical word is 100% the word of your god, not to be questioned, only obeyed, regardless of how far humanity develops, how do you manage Ephesians 6:5-9?

Should human trafficking victims simply obey their captors “with a sincere heart” given that they are “servants of Christ” and the Bible urges bond servants to be “faithful and obedient?”

Hell, it promises obedient slaves will be rewarded in Heaven.

To anyone reading, seriously, check the whole verse, the context doesn’t make it better.

If your argument is that all in the Bible is above question, how do you account for that?

Nobody said "not to he questioned, only to he obeyed"—if what you MEAN by "not to be questioned," is "not to be carefully examined in order to get it right." The Bible straight-up says to carefully examine God's words. So don't be disingenuous.

Every Biblical word is 100% the Word of God, yeah. Ephesians 6:1-9 says:

"Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother (which is the first commandment with a promise), so that it may be well with you, and that you may live long in the land. Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Slaves, be obedient to those who are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling, in the integrity of your heart, as to Christ; not by way of eyeservice, as men-pleasers, but as slaves of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart, serving with good will as to the Lord, and not to men, knowing that whatever good thing each one does, this he will receive back from the Lord, whether slave or free. And masters, do the same things to them, giving up threatening, knowing that both their Master and yours is in heaven, and there is no partiality with Him."

The chapter is talking about Christian-human relationships with other humans. Starts with the most basic human institution—family. Moves on to slaves and masters. Slaves, indentured servants, bond slaves, were all common in the time of the Bible being written. It was not cultural taboo to have people living with and working for you, or even being bought and sold by you—what the Bible is saying here is actually very counter-cultural. Because it means you have to keep treating them as equal humans, not objects or beasts of burden you can beat or mistreat however you want. Which is a low bar in our minds, but was an incredibly high bar back then. It's called "interpretation." You can't just take words written in a specific context and time period, for a specific intent, with a thousands-of-years-older vocabulary and culture, and go "oh, well in my time period and my language that word means this." It's about as dumb as saying the Wizard of Oz is about queer sex purely because of how many times the word "queer" is printed in the book.

Human trafficking victims are not the kind of "slaves" this verse is talking about, and I bet you know it.

In fact, there is too much anti-human-trafficking philosophy in the Bible for even the most ardent atheist to try the same little "discredit the Bible" smear tactic you're trying right now. Anyone who knows anything about history (beyond a mere 185 years ago, that is) and can see concepts beyond the far-West-ideology of "slavery bad" can have a more intelligent discussion than this.

I'm tired of the same old tripe.

Don't you see that God is using the same term, "slaves" to refer to Christians, HIS people, who are also called His "sheep, children, beloved, inheritors, heirs?" In this same verse? So then when the God who invented humanity uses the word "slave" can't you infer that maybe He doesn't mean it with the same baby-level-100 1/2-year-old connotations that you do? If He's using it to refer to the very same people He loves, protects, sacrificed His life for, and goes to unimaginable lengths to bless--then do you really think this verse is talking about people who are categorically worth being treated as less than human?

That doesn't make sense. You can see that it doesn't make sense.

Bottom line: if God said slavery was morally acceptable, guess what? It would be morally acceptable. He invented reality, your brain, and morality. But He didn't say that, so grow up and be serious. Instead, what He said was listed above: no matter your circumstances, be it as a child, father, slave, or master, remember and conduct yourself as if you're all slaves of God, and you're living to please Him, not each other or yourselves.

God condemns "man-stealing" in Exodus 21:16. Deuteronomy 22 condemns rape. The same God wrote 100% of the Bible through several different authors across centuries by the inspiration of the very words with His Spirit. No, this passage of Ephesians does not tell sexually trafficked victims to obey their kidnappers and rapists. And you know it. Got anything else?

#Bible #Biblical #I'm in no mood #come up with something genuine #sola scriptura #Asked #answered #Yahweh

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imperatorbaronius · 17 hours ago

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Once again, my thoughts are entirely occupied with War of the Rohirrim

Today's thoughts: marriage

So it's pretty obvious that Héra had no intention to marry Wulf, I feel the film makes that pretty obvious, at most she's more about just staying his friend (at least at the start) so I wanna ask, in a hypothetical situation where Wulf doesn't go batshit insane and start a war that kills…so many people. Would Helm make Héra marry the Gondorian Prince or not?

I'm squarely in the "he won't" camp. LOTR marriages are almost always about love first and foremost, the stark contrast to the historical history they base themselves on where arranged marriage is the norm as women and love have no say in the matter, it's entirely strategic considerations. If Héra doesn't love this guy, I think Helm would be…probably upset but accepting, he's smart enough to find another way to shore up the alliance between Rohan and Gondor, maybe Haleth or Háma meet someone from Gondor they love instead and they can get that marriage alliance that way, or just…simple pragmatism, I'm certain Gondor desires a secure eastern flank as much as Rohan wants a secure western one, they don't ever appear to have any overlapping claims on each others territory so the alliance is pragmatic for both parties regardless of marriage alliances.

I feel confident in this based on Haleth and Háma, they don't have partners. None that we see or are named and given their fates…it would be easier to really ram the emotional point home with a distraught partner. The boys are 30 and 22 respectively, that's quite old to not be married in the Anglo-Saxon world that Rohan is largely based on. Surely Helm if he was all about legacy and alliances would have organised marriages for them both by now, the fact he hasn't, kinda tells me that he doesn't want to force his children to do anything they don't want to do (within reason), he's content to let them find someone on their own and have that based on love rather that politics.

So maybe he might have been upset if Héra rejects the Gondorian Prince but I can't see him forcing her into it, if she's not down for it, she's just not. Based on the evidence of her brother's seemingly not being married or at least betrothed and that marriage in LOTR…is almost entirety love based rather than political based as marriage was in the time periods it's based on

#lord of the rings #lotr #lotr:wotr #lotr: war of the rohirrim #the war of the rohirrim #war of the rohirrim #baron rambles

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icewindandboringhorror · 2 months ago

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Little bright colored outfit with a fun vest ~

(shoes from ebay like 10 years ago. everything else is thrifted)

#ootd #jfashion #fashion #fantasy fashion #mori kei #....like... adjacent... lol #no idea what style this would be lol.. makes me think of like whimsical vaguely fantasy themed childrens book character #finally posting one of my aforementioned seven million drafts of actual outfits and costumes i have finished and edited #the photos for but just never feel like posting lol..#I need to find one of those people whos like 'omg i am ADDICTED to social media ugh i wish i could get off of it #im just browsing and posting like 60 times a daaaaay!!!' and take a little magical bottle and suck some of the social media #enthusiasim out of them. for moi. In exchange they can have some of my 'literally just never in the mood to post or interact with the #outside world ever' energy. We can balance each other. huzzah and so on #Though I think maybe it's part of the general thing I've heard of like.. I can't remember if it was in reference to adhd or just some sort #of general execcutive functioning issue type of thing - but the idea that things have to be ''just right'' before you do something. like #'oh i need to do this task. but i have to wait until XYZ first' or 'oh i can do this but only if X specific condition is met' or etc #The fact that I even have to be in a Specific Mindset to post. or sometimes will delay posting on social media because like 'oh well #I'm going somewhere tomorrow. somehow this matters. i cannot spend 5 minuts posting TONIGHT. clearly it will interfere #somehow schedule wise with the doctor appointment i have 15 hours from now. yes. yes. i must wait until my appointment is over #tomorrow afternoon. THEN i shall post' or etc. etc. lol. NOT even taking into account the many days #I just genuinely and physically sick and it's not even a mental thing. I just physically dont feel like sitting at the computer lol..#ANYWAY.. trying to get back into it. trying to get a business bank account.. make a proper paypal so i can start selling sculptures again.#selling clothes and sculptures.. posting about such things then of course as one must. etc... chanting to hype up and motivate myself lol #But yes. this is my favorite outfit out of the bunch so I am posting it first I guess.. maybe others later..#Also the purple dress says its from shein. which I've heard is bad fast fashion stuff. but maybe okay since its second hand? I havent #been to the bins since like 2020 or late 2019 even. and I think stuff like shein and temu has only become poular in the past few years #but I bet if I went to the bins now I might would find a good handfull of that stuff. Probably now not much different than what you #find in a walmart or a forever 21 or actual physical stores you can go to though. I hear quality of clothing is down everywhere no matter #where you get it or whatnot. What bountiful joys unfettered capitalism and exploitation bestows upon us (<being sarcastic).#Wearing one of my favorite little vests though. I love the texture of it and the clasps on it

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destinywillowleaf · 1 year ago

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one of a kind living in a world gone plastic

baby you're so classic

@most-tragic-character-tournament

(all my thoughts in the tags)

#anyway i found their theme song and lost my mind #tragedyshipping #lloyd garmadon #ninjago #antigone #tagamemnon #pollshipping #i'm gonna be thinking about this for the next hour before i go to sleep #i just wanted to make a playlist for them i didn't think i would find a perfect fit #they have taken over many of my braincells and i can't even complain this is the enrichment i needed #all i'm saying is the idea of a movie trailer for these two is taking shape more and more and this should 100% be the accompanying song #not even a full trailer because that would take forever but like. a 30 second TV spot. family drama. them not really getting along at first #(e.g. glaring at each other while being forced to dance or something)#but then warming up to each other on the road because road trips have my soul when it comes to movies ok #i want them to stargaze in the bed of a hotwired pickup truck while on the run from people who demand bloodshed (a poll winner)#the slow(?) burn of not wanting to be in this mess to actually enjoying spending time together to something more #(trailer/commercial ends on or just after “baby you're so classic” with the cut to the title and in theaters date)#maybe most of the tv spot is them arguing and making life hell for one another but it's hard to deny there's something more brewing #(one of the reviews is just ''A modern classic'' because i think i'm funny)#i really want the title to be a play off of them meeting through the tragic tournament but it's completely different from the tone i want #''tragedy: null and void'' is a fun one #i've never been the greatest at titles if they don't hit me like a truck #anyway hi folks i'm sorry if you have no idea what's happening and see this in your tags #willowarts

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rogueddie · 1 year ago

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nonbinary Steve who doesn't feel like he is allowed to identify with anything other than Man™ bc he enjoys masculine things and presenting in a more masculine way

🤝

nonbinary Chrissy who doesn't feel like she can use masculine words bc she doesn't think anyone will take her seriously bc of how she looks and dresses

#stranger things #steve harrington #chrissy cunningham #cheerscoops #bc they're dating in this. obviously.#steve is the girlfriend and chrissy is the boyfriend #and maybe they can't say that to many people but they have each other and that's enough

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lgbtlunaverse · 8 months ago

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Everytime I see discourse about kink or nudity at pride I get reminded of the time I went to pride a few years ago with my mother and my sibling- who was 17 at the time and is somewhere on the ace spectrum- and about halfway through, the march went under a gatehouse. Some inhabitants were sitting in their open windows watching the parade. Right before we crossed under them, one of them decided to just... take her shirt off. She wasn't wearing a bra. And you know what happened? People whooped and cheered, and then kept walking. That's it. And there were kids around!! They didn't care. My sibling didn't care. My mother, a cisgender heterosexual woman in her 50s, did not care.

This stuff stops being such a big deal when you go offline. It was basically the same amount of boob you'd see in any perfume ad. No one was like 'what about the children?' And if you didn't wanna see it and looked down, no one would've called you a puritanical prude for that. And it helps to remind myself of that everytime I see kink at pride discourse getting rehashed because at actual pride, people don't care.

#pride #kink discourse #lgbtqia #lgbtq #kink at pride #something DID make my mom uncomfortable later. and it was a bunch of gay guys in front of us making homophobic jokes at each other #she went 'i know they're gay so it's technically hamless but i just don't think it's right'#so it's not like she's some kind of radical liberated queer activist or anything she's just your average liberal parent #and she did not care about this! at all!#to be clear discomfort with sex in an amatonormative society is perfectly fine and normal #'disgust has no ethical weight' goes both for what triggered the disgust response and for the person having the disgust response #and i think i also want to say to those people who don't want to be labeled 'puritans' but can't help the discomfort #i've found people are generally also a lot more gracious about THAT irl #if they aren't being told 'leave' but 'let's make sure you can ignore this and have a good time'#most people who aren't assholes will be receptive to that #i think maybe queer people could stand to learn from disabled people and the way they deal with conflicting access needs #for example allowing support animals excludes people with allergies #you can't get around that by declaring either of these groups unwelcome you have to find a balance #and try to help as many people as you can while compromising

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vaguely-concerned · 2 months ago

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just going about my day idly contemplating how some of the ways hawke can interact with a romanced anders are not at all unlike how they interact with leandra (and a bit of carver too, especially with a purple hawke), and then thought about my hawke in the timeline where he romances anders and was hit straight in the face with 'was he ever actually in love, or was he just desperately trying to renegotiate with his mother's ghost in any way he could' and now i need to lie down. this is the power of dragon age 2

#'you don't know my mother' haunting me through the years #dragon age #dragon age 2 #hawke #On second thought let's not go to Kirkwall; it is a silly place #there are of course as many ways to do/read that relationship as there are players to interact with it haha and all valid!#but my personal version of handers is sooo fucked up and bad times for everyone involved and I love it haha.#this is a relationship neither of them should have been in and that made everything worse and everyone unhappy in the end #locked tomb levels of the horrors of love. i ship it but in the way that I want to make it sadder and more gutwrenching each time #to be clear this is a very mutual two-way kind of fucked up but I think varric in his loyalty and love would downplay hawke's side of it #for huge swathes of their relationship anders is not in a mental place to be a good partner and the emotional blackmail is Not Okay #(but it's just like how mother used to make it! hawke's soul cries sadly as it reaches for it hungrily)#which is in some ways fair enough no one could accuse him of not warning you ahead of time fjskda #but hawke is messy about it in a way only available to a covert people pleaser who has never had a millisecond of therapy #with some added stuff that my hawke is always acespec in some form and when he gets together with anders...#is the sex something he doesn't particularly care to have or not have but it 'makes anders happy'/he longs to feel wanted *and* needed #and also a way he gets out of ever being *actually* vulnerable (which I think he'd had to be with varric for example if he Went There )#'you want the hawke who's in your head so badly and I kind of wish I were that hawke too. so let's be collaborateurs with that fantasy'#(and then maybe if I do it right every time you'll finally be happy hawke says in his heart looking at this leandra-anders phantom form)#(and echoing stuff in varric's relationship to hawke but I think the important distinction there is that varric -- is a craftsman haha #he KNOWS when he's lying/making up a story he KNOWS the difference between what is and what he wishes the world was #(I think there's some deep longing there to not know; for it to blend together or have the power to change things. but he always knows)#which ironically leaves him in a better position to actually see and understand hawke the person #even as he is creating hawke the literary figure. almost to protect him in some ways? god da2 is so full of STUFF!!! I adore it)#and of course anders gets so disillusioned with hawke's inertia and lack of action (you all but married this man anders!#you should know this about him he's already carrying the whole family and city on his shoulders if you add a gram more he'll collapse!)#and hawke feels so desperately hurt that the promise anders seemed to make that he'd be enough -- that he could fix things for him --#('I'm the one bright light in kirkwall and that apparently doesn't count for shit so I'm just slowly turning to ash for you')#turned out to be untrue. anyway. sad now. imagine them meeting like twenty years on what the fuck could you even say to each other then #(I can't imagine Hawke ever physically hurting anyone he loves so he just tells Anders to leave at the end of DA2. they COULD meet again

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ticklepinions · 17 days ago

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Sigh

#my days here are definitely numbered #we do this every week probably #there is so much to say. but its been said countless times before #convinced that too many of you are more passionate for collective hate than the actual issues going on #give some of you an inkling of power and you run with it #this isnt even about a particular situation. people just find it so oddly easy to be vile to each other #feels like humanity is just doomed. and it feels like I can't even say that lest I too be the “problem”#i havd to continuosly say I don't stand for *insert wrong action here* but I can't have empathy #i can only be rewarded for my good morales through shaming the person who messed up. then i get my badge of honour that shows people i'm not #like “them”. but I am like “them”. I'm human. i'm no better. but to avoid the ridicule of my own community. i will participate in this #execution of sorts. am I truly “good” if I am only doing it to avoid conequence. Are my morals as pure as I thought if I only get loud when #i know I have an audience? i get it. i'm generalizing. there are so many lovely people here...#the brain just remembers the bad so much easier. being in this communitt for as long as I have. seeing just how ugly it can get #makes this place not safe as it once was. maybe it wasn't for me in the first place. in my pursuit of a community #my very person was rotting. hm... i digress. back to tagging the funny meme #twordpinion #tword community #tickle community #ticklepinion #tword content #tickling community

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medicinemane · 5 months ago

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I don't know... horrible things happen all around the world and it's not a competition

Atrocities are committed against multiple groups in multiple parts of the world at the exact same moment, and none of them erase each other. They all matter, all the people in this world who are being brutalized matter. There shouldn't be any line you draw where one group doesn't actually matter as much as another

You're welcome to prioritize your energy towards helping one group or another, but what's not ok is invalidating or dismissing people who are actively being harmed

Same goes for trying to figure out which social group has things worst (and lets be honest, always using a US lens)

Like... maybe the important thing is to prop each other up and help everyone get on their own feet rather than trying to... pick fights about if physical disabilities or mental illness are less respected (I'm trying to pick a more absurd example but sadly I've seen exactly that argument happen before). Maybe it doesn't really matter and what matters is helping who we can when we can

I'm tired of it, I'm just fucking tired of it. Support people, champion them when the world is just brutalizing them, but you don't need to throw a single other person under the bus to do that

Which seems to be an absolutely impossible lesson for people to learn

#I won't say anything else on this; but I will say that to me one of the groups that it feels like is most forgotten is Syrians #including by me if I'm honest #I don't know what's currently happening in Syria... but... my understanding is it still hasn't really gotten better #assad is still brutalizing people last I had heard #so rather than saying anything else I'd prefer to simply focus on some people it feels like were forgotten back during Obama #and... and have remained forgotten #and I'm sorry I can't do more to help with the suffering in the world #but... you notice what I'm not having to do here?#I'm not having to throw a single other person under the bus #I'm able to just focus on how much I wish for Syrians to be ok (which is a hollow gesture on my part in many ways I think)#and I can keep all the focus on Syrians rather than throwing anyone else under the bus or doing any whataboutism #and that's literally all I'm asking of you fucking people #don't downplay human misery to try and make your thing seem more important #they're both fucking important... they're all important #there's so much suffering I can't even keep up with it #there's so much of it that I can only name without knowing the details; Congo; I believe Sudan is still suffering; Haiti #I don't know how things are in Ethiopia right now... I can't keep track #and none of these situations and the horrible things they're dealing with; things I haven't even been able to follow #none of it detracts from and of the issues I am following more closely #I don't need to compare them and say 'well it's not as bad'; because... bad is bad and any is too much #and nothing I say here will do a damn thing; no one'll hear and even if they did they'd ignore it or get pissed #that's what my evidence shows me about how people behave #but suffering isn't a competition; the correct amount is zero #and... perhaps I'd have more tolerance if I hadn't watched how you behave with stuff #...the worst part is the person I adore who... man... I wish I could just get them to really think through their words #they mean well; they're coming from a place of love; but I just haven't been able to paint the picture for them of the harm #and I'm flawed; I don't have all the answers; I could be wrong here #but... can you at least see why I feel that maybe we shouldn't pit misery against each other #that the people suffering have more in common with each other than opposed and... maybe westerners aren't fucking helping #eh... too fucking drained thinking about this; end of tags

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thenwethrowitonthefire · 9 months ago

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Shout-out to everyone who survived a "fun" easter with the family

#fucking hell #it started with finding out my dad smoked in my car when I picked up my sister #who was equally dreading the day #my mum turns into the world's tensest and judgemental presence. worsened by my aunt #then hell for autistic people (of which there are multiple present)#multiple deaf people means one uninspired conversation that isn't interesting in any way.#combinations of passive aggressiveness and people not saying a thing because they can't participate. voice volumes too damn high #weirdass food situations. Very full table. so many smells.#this goes on for over an hour. wishing for literally anything but being there. soul crushing.#then you still have to sit in that room for 2.5 hours. it just goes on and on.#my autistic deaf dad physically looks like how I feel. my mum and aunt keep piling on top of him to demand his mental presence #i leave the room once (to get my phone to show pictures to my uncle) and am immediately followed upstairs by my mum #who demands I don't leave the room (What's next. following me when I need the toilet?)#me and my sister are so bored we start throwing paper planes and fake fighting.#Which amuses the bored and the deaf #but of course my mum and aunt have opinions and this is not allowed. only soul crushing boredom allowed #they complain to each other over it while aggressively doing dishes #finally it ends because my mum and aunt start insisting my dad should go to bed if he's 'that tired'. *sprinkle on some additional ableism*#still sitting through a conversation about allergies one of my sister's friends has. my mum preaching that people should take that seriously #(meanwhile i had to cook for myself for 9 years because when my allergies were really bad no one bothered to check if i could eat something)#me and my sister go sit upstairs to discover our mum has made things we care about vanish in her room #and made things appear that should not be there #I've washed the interior of my car and hope the smell will go #you think it's over after that. but woke up with the realisation that even more things have disappeared from my sister's room.#i can't remember a time when things left outside of my room didn't disappear #I don't know why we do these family gatherings at all. no one has fun on days like that.#the housing crisis isn't making these things easy. my sister is losing her place to live again as well #she'll go hiking for a month and then work on a campsite over the summer #maybe I'll go house sitting again. idk.#can't make commitments a few months in advance like that because I'll cancel everything the second Sparks announces anything important

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wild-at-mind · 2 years ago

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Kind of sad that people writing about their politics are still doing the ‘any self identified leftist with opinions that are Wrong is actually a liberal’ thing.

#sad as in i'm literally sad about it rather than meaning pathetic #they always say lib instead of liberal though #in reality many people you broadly agree with will have some opinions that don't seem to fit with their overall politics #but it's not some kind of weird gotcha or a reason to reassign them a politics label it's just life #if you like them you could talk to them about it maybe #people are so hostile now about not 100% agreeing with someone else on the left it just gives the impression we all hate each other!#my ocd brain can't take the black and white thinking i just nope out of it #like i spent so much time unlearning this thinking only to find it RIFE in leftist online spaces #and no one seems to identify it as a problem :(

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aberooski · 4 months ago

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I love Taylor. I always have and to some degree I always will. She means too much to me and is such an important figure and source of joy and light in my life when I desperately needed, and a connection to my own father that I need desperately, to deny that I will always look on her fondly to some degree as silly as that may seem sometimes and to some people.

But that doesn't mean I don't/won't/can't be critical of her or be disappointed or disagree with choices she makes or has made, because I absolutely have been and I absolutely am.

My problem is that I always, with every fiber of my being, look for and try to see the best in people and believe in people until I absolutely can't anymore. Unless it's something truly reprehensible and irredeemable, my brain simply cannot comprehend the idea that one bad decision or mistake trust me I know she's made more than one lately can automatically invalidate or negate anything and everything good a person has ever done. I've genuinely tried to understand it and unfortunately, I can't wrap my head around the concept. I give grace to a fault. I get sad when I see things said about her in a negative light even when I completely understand and even agree, because I have so much love for her in my heart. It's that tride and true naive, blind optimism in me I guess.

But I do not in any way think she's a perfect person, I know she isn't, because nobody is. Some are just better at hiding that than others. She makes mistakes, she's wrong sometimes, she is a human being who messes up. Sometimes in big ways. And unfortunately she's messed up a few times over the last year or so and that makes me sad. It disappoints me because I love her so much, and I do want and expect better of her. And in the process of that, it makes me very sad that I feel like I have to hide the facet of myself that does still love her despite my disappointment in her or risk making people upset with me now because I'm so afraid of upsetting people. I'm terrified of doing or saying the wrong things I try so hard to do the best I can every day and it's disappointing to see her slip up. It's sad. It makes me very sad.

It's a complicated time to love her right now. I hope, in my heart of hearts, I sincerely hope that sooner rather than later it won't have to be that way anymore. Not just for me, but for all of us who feel that complexity or conflict of emotions.

#I don't know I'm just talking out my ass I just have a lot of thoughts running through my head I don't really know how to articulate well #I just always want to believe the best in people I don't like to judge people I don't like to condemn people or see that happen #unless someone is truly reprehensible and deserving of condemnation and I just don't feel in my heart that she is like some people do #I don't know maybe that makes me a bad person...? sometimes I feel like there are people who would think that it does and that makes me sad #I know I keep saying I don't know but I truly don't know. I'm just tired. sometimes I wish I didn't care #but the fact of the matter is that I do. I care about people I love people I want nothing but the best for people #I want to believe the best in people and in my heart I believe that she is the person I always thought she was. someone who is good and kin #who makes mistakes but is ultimately better for them because she learns from those mistakes and grows #or maybe I just want to believe she's like me and always looks for the best in people and sees the best in people to a fault #until she can't deny the truth anymore if they're not good people.#sometimes you blind yourself to the things in people or situations that you don't want to see until it's impossible to anymore #I know because I've been there. not in the same kinds of situations granted but I've blinded myself and hurt myself so much to hang on #I've ruined my entire life holding onto the past. not wanting to move on into the stage of my life I'm actually in #and trying to stay in my childhood as long as possible when the truth is it's long gone. i can't get it back.#but I can keep her. I can keep that piece of it. and oh god I want to. I pray to god the truth of her heart is revealed #and that that truth is good. that that truth is a relief and a reassurance to those like me and many others looking for it lately #maybe I'm just being naive I guess. but dammit I want to see light on the other side no matter what. it's a blessing and a curse sometimes.#I just want people to love each other and be kind to one another and coexist with one another peacefully... that's all I want... 😔#I want people to be able to love who and what they love without shame or fear to be who they are unapologetically without shame or fear #I just want love and hope and light in this world goddammit it shouldn't be as hard as it is these days 😔#I love you all. so much. no matter what. never forget that. ❤#abby's insomnia thoughts

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poppyberry · 9 days ago

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Everybody NEEDS to listen to the new Wild Life retrospective on Imp and Skizz's podcast. They got Grian called in and they give so many cool insights into the series (and honestly say so many things I think people need to hear)

Highlights for me:

Grian designed each wild card to be weaponized and wanted everyone to take advantage of them. He goes over each individually and all the thought he put into them and all the work the backend team put into their execution. He's rightfully really proud of them. Him gushing about Trivia Bot and how excited he was to show his friends the "coolest snail ever" is particularly sweet.

Skizz says discovering each wild card was a LOT of fun. He says something like "I can't believe as an adult I get to have so much fun." Impulse is really impressed with the execution of each, citing stuff like making it rain when the time one activated and the passive mobs spawning in before being replaced, and how the little details like that built excitement and tension.

Grian says how he understands that some viewers maybe just want more seasons of the essentially the same series, ie six seasons of just Third Life, but it's more important to him that the Lifers get to experience something new and fresh. He also doesn't like comparing each series, preferring to consider each one as its own thing.

Impulse can't wait to do another Life series, Skizz is equally excited but tries to hold discussion about it back since he doesn't want anyone pressuring Grian, who is palpably burned out. Like, you can hear how tired this man is. Grian says there will probably be more series since everyone is still enjoying it, but he's not trying to outdo himself and not to expect him to keep escalating.

Skizz always tries to do something new each season yet feels like he always falls back into the same habits and dynamics, but not this time: he feels like he got to explore a new dynamic with the Spanners and had a blast doing it. He and Grian gush about how much fun they had with their "big brother trying to keep his little brothers alive" routine.

They have a grand time making fun of Impulse and his "Sweats". Impulse is unabashedly still hungry to win a series.

Impulse didn't want to kill zombie Skizz, because of the five minute cooldown, but Skizz makes clear that he was really happy with being a zombie, even if there was a lot of doing nothing in between summons. He says it means a lot to him that he got to help with the burden of facilitating the series, even just a little bit.

Grian gives good insight into his personal life strategy: he does some things to deliberately test his relationship with other players. Standing in the Danger Zone was a trust exercise, testing Jimmy and Scar. Jimmy and Scar failed.

Despite Scar failing the trust exercise, Grian heard the disappointment in Scar's voice about the Snail Bot thing and immediately caved, but he's really happy that it led them to in-canon reconciling and becoming strong allies again.

Grian's favorite moment was making Jimmy pay for the failed trust exercise by blowing up the bunker, particularly pleased with his one liner of "it was always gonna be like this". He says Wild Life as a whole has been the most enjoyable series for him, even though he didn't get to have as much fun as the other players due to knowing all the wild cards.

All three of them gush over the scene of everybody failing to kill Joel as he teleports around, laughing about how it was straight out of a movie or an anime. Impulse feels like Joel took his superpower to a new level, but Grian reminds him the he didn't have an army chasing him around trying to kill him. They're all super impressed with how the finale turned out.

Some of the powers were assigned (Cleo, BigB, BDubs, Scar, Lizzie), some were random (Impulse, Martyn). Some were based on players' names, others on their personal narratives, but coming up with ~16 different powers without including any that would just be exploited for cheap instakills was really difficult, which is why there were so many espionage ones. Hilariously, Grian was hoping Scar would accidentally kill Jimmy by punching him off a cliff because of their ritual of trying punching in the earlier episodes. He also gave Scar that power because he knew Scar wouldn't feel bad about killing people with it.

Grian chose to give himself the mimic so he could show people how their powers worked if he needed to, and so that it wasn't given to somebody else who'd have to spend the whole session figuring out the mechanics of 15 separate superpowers and potentially dying because of it. And because he thinks its the coolest one and he wanted it (lol)

All around there's tons of fun details and stuff in this episode of the podcast and absolutely everybody should listen to it all the way through.

#wild life smp #grian #impulsesv #skizzleman #trafficblr #life series #bonus: grian is still disappointed nobody died in the big desert explosion in third life #but skizz remembers it as one of the coolest things ever #its super cool listening to the card breakdowns too #and how intricately grian tailored them for his friends #and the answer to pretty much every <why did you do BLANK differently?> question is #he wanted his friends to have a blast every single episode ;u;#he asked everyone if they had a good time after every session...

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theconcealedweapon · 8 months ago

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Neurotypical Person: "Just talk to people. Stop being afraid of rejection. The only way you'll fail is if you don't even try. Have some confidence."

Autistic Person: (asks whatever questions they can think of from a prepared list and the conversation ends up being awkward and forced)

Autistic Person: (infodumps about their special interest and gets labeled as annoying)

Autistic Person: (comments on something they observe and gets labeled as judgmental)

Autistic Person: (approaches random people in random places, not realizing that there are some places where people don't expect to be approached, and gets threatened)

Autistic Person: (talks to someone, misses a subtle cue that they want to be left alone, and gets labeled as disrespectful of boundaries)

Autistic Person: (tries to join someone's conversation and gets labeled as an eavesdropper)

Autistic Person: (teases someone as a joke because they've seen that that's how a lot of people interact with each other, not realizing that they don't have enough of a connection with this person to do that, and gets labeled as mean)

Autistic Person: (tries to talk to someone who's already talking to someone else and gets labeled as rude for interrupting, and waiting until they're alone to avoid interrupting isn't an option because that rarely ever happens)

Autistic Person: (approaches someone or faces in their general direction while trying to think of what to say to them, and gets labeled as a creep for hovering or staring)

Autistic Person: (talks to someone too often and gets labeled as clingy)

Autistic Person: (talks to someone, by some miracle it works and this person actually enjoys the conversation, but now they have to do it again and again and again, and they eventually run out of things to talk about or do something wrong)

Autistic Person: "I don't get it. I talked to people. I did exactly what I was told to do. And I didn't say anything sexual, anything gross, anything about death, or anything else that would be considered 'obvious'. But it didn't work. It can't be because I did something wrong, because I followed the advice exactly and so many people insisted that that's all I have to do. There must be something wrong with me. Maybe I'm just unattractive."

#autism #ableism #actuallyautistic

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artemismatchalatte · 1 year ago

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Why is it so hard to date women??? I am one too. This shouldn't be so hard. And yet it really is.

I can get a man without even wanting to or meaning to (it happened unintentionally every time that way when I still dated men now I realized looking back on it). I could do that again but I never really enjoyed it before so I doubt I would like it any better now.

You're supposed to actually enjoy dating, right?

It's not supposed to be like pulling teeth, RIGHT??? :')

(I am trying to stay positive but WOW, this sucks OMG!)

#It's obvious that I have no fucking clue what I'm doing still #I think I am looking in the literal WORST places #the new app I tried for friends/dating isn't specifically gay but it has way too many men on it literally it's mostly men somehow #I'm sorry boys but I'm not interested #But I feel like I can't talk to girls on there because I don't want them to think I'm some creep :/ :/ :/#my profile says bisexual currently but I'm not sure that's accurate #I IDed as bi for half my life but I'm still not sure if that's true #I'm thinking of quitting that app too #I got cat fished on the last gay app I tried and it happened multiple times which was frustrating!!! :/#maybe this is all BAD Karma coming back to bite me #maybe I should reactivate my account on her any way and get catfished some more *shrug* maybe it's what I deserve #tbh I'm jealous of how easily other people seem to find each other I'll admit that #I've been watching too much of the Catfish TV show lately too which does not help either :(#I'm pissed at myself for wasting college now- I was even part of the LGBT student club at both my schools ughh #and though I liked some of the other girls in the clubs I never did anything because most of them were taken already (of course)#I have this weird feeling that I missed the train for someone on here but maybe I'm imagining it??? 0-o #I couldn't be sure and do not want to be annoying about it in case I misread some signals a while ago...?#it's okay I'm not hot and still don't know if I'm gay or bi at my age (I'm really 30 but probably don't seem it)#you can do way better than me girl is what I'm saying basically #dating apps are just...terrible? awful? the worst?#a free unhinged(?) rant for all my single friends :)#if you know you definitely know #though I hope you don't because... yikes I'm sorry if you know #any body got any other app ideas??? I tried lex taimi and her already and I won't do tindr because that's too superficial/all about hook up #wlw dating #I've known I've liked women since I was 16 but never tried dating them until now so sorry if this is obvious or you've heard it before

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