#and may have done some confusion
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remember when I did this?
well I did more
#deltarune#crossover#heathers#noelle holiday#kris dreemurr#pizzapants#susie deltarune#nooses tw#blood tw#suicide tw#hanging tw#death tw#art tag#first three were actually done a year ago but i never finished the fourth one until now#partially bc Background Hard but also i was like 'this might be too dark actually'#my friends were like its heathers of course its dark and then i showed them the sketch and they were like oh that IS dark#whatever its done i did it#ALSO this is important some people were confused with this last time: these are based on the MOVIE not the musical#like literally these are screenshot redraws from the movie but with dr characters lol#important bc since the musical makes betty and martha a composite character and in the movie theyre two different girls#and i wouldnt have put susie in the role of martha in the context of the musical. i probably would choose catti for that#and im also. not that fond of the musical. on the whole. for reasons#i do have like five of the songs from it on my showtunes playlist though LMAO#i may not agree with the story and characterization choices but i cant deny bangers
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I think it’s so ironic that the Pony Express escapes a lot if not all blame in discussion. I can’t even say I am excused from it but it’s just how hard people circle back to the characters alone without considering the environment they were made to be in.
Why would they design a ship where only two of the rooms lock? Not the bathroom? Not the sleeping quarters? We assume that all the companies in the universe are this shallow and careless to their workers but we explicitly know the Pony Express in extra vile. They are fed processed slop pack they can’t even really cook and the ration of those pack is meager at best. They hired and made people with a plethora of conflicting demeanors and beliefs work together on a mission where cohesion is important if not an outright necessity and punish them for not being happy about it. There’s no social protocols, not chain of command other than Captain’s word/choice and the only way to enforce that is with a literal firearm. They don’t allow them to celebrate freely and even took away leisure activities that would make them less stir crazy. They are only allowed a few hours of sleep despite their being no other real responsibilities or work on the ship, no matter the position or its importance. With any crew, with any level of synergy, this was a powder keg waiting for a spark.
I’m not saying characters that made mistakes didn’t make huge ones, but I think part of the horror is that at least for some (this is targeting Jimathan) those mistakes are partly made by a force of the hand. There’s a running theme of lack of choice and being forced into something and the very nature of how The Pony Express expected them to function plays a big part.
#like even I forget that all actions taken in the game were people trying to remain in protocol outside of Jimmy#Anya couldn’t have jus stolen the scanner and got the gun cause she’s a sensible person and knows she’d be in legal trouble#or get everyone’s credits docked or just hoping that there’s some chain of command for this sort of thing#Daisuke only really acted in accordance to his direct superiors because he’s an intern he wouldn’t know the first thing about protocol or#what to do in any situation. like this is essentially implied to be his first real job#Curly may be the captain but he still has to follow rules and procedures and we see with the letter the Pony Express likely has very shady#and shitty ones. he gives the best not depressing or totalitarian options he can otherwise everything is just his word which aren’t even his#or like him just asserting his position with the gun which he wouldn’t do#Swansea follows the book begrudgingly because he’s trying to stay right and not fall back into who he once was#I feel like it’s not incorporated nearly enough that the environment they were dropped into heavily affected their actions#say there was a single person higher than Curly or a plan of action when a crew member is considered a danger to himself or others#I think it’s fascinating how people will stick to protocol and break when they get scared or to their limit#cause the game shows how normalcy deteriorates and I think discounting what the characters where put through by the company takes a way a#real and scary aspect of what happened to Anya because as a friend Curly didn’t do enough for her at all his comfort was there and he#appreciated but it was a distracted sort of care but as a Captain he didn’t protect her but he’s was a Captain of the Pony Express like what#if they told him to wait to? he still should’ve done something because Anya was actively suffering and Jimmy should’ve been reprimanded but#he’s a captain with orders like the Tulpar isn’t his ship in the same way like#god I wanna explain this in a way that makes sense but the Tulpar is like designed to breed animosity and work on the bare requirements one#needs to get things done that’s not how people work and if anyone deviates or interrupts that it literally has nothing to handle it#it becomes clear that if any social unrest happens why they just say fuck it and give the Captain the gun because if something happens the#blame can easily be placed on the person they put in charge despite what they put them#in charge of like this is just like work place harassment irl because often the perpetrators are not punished but the supervisors for not#stopping them with meetings or cuts or whatever but the environment the company fostered is rarely fixed or blamed#like why was this allowed to occur? and honestly that is because Jimmy did what he did#ask me about this if this is confusing cause I worded it crazy#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#the pony express
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"That's the kinda thing... That I hate."
#boonboomger#boonboomger spoilers#super sentai#bakuage sentai boonboomger#taiya hando#sakito homura#bun red#bun violet#userdramas#umbrella.gifs#tokuedit#please do not repost#umbrella.edits#umbrella.posts#translation: over-time#subtitles added by me#i saw some people confused as to why sakito would hate this and it could be for a few reasons#some people believe that if you do something good for other people without an incentive you're untrustworthy#like you're not being truthful about your reasoning or going to use the fact that you did a good thing to manipulate later#he might also have bad experiences with people who've claimed they are doing good things just because they want to or he may have been let#down by someone like this but it could be for any number of reasons but we won't know until his backstory is told#sakito doesn't seem to want to feel a connection to earth too like he denies feeling anything there and doesn't pursue any business he migh#have on earth after byun d's business is done and i feel like meeting people who want to protect earth just because threatens him a little#it's like he doesn't understand but at the same time he has a connection to earth in some way that he's avoiding#i feel like sakito has some pent up feelings about who he is and his life but leans into chaos to keep him from facing it#idk i just think he's neat
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i love my friends so much. i feel like yesterday i had a lot of shit going on in my head and i woke up to my friend explaining things in a way that put my mind at ease. i dont feel as anxious anymore because i know i was overthinking. i think my dad said it best when he told me that he thought my wonderful brain of mine just wants to think problems are bigger than they actually are. he is right! im just inexperienced in life and half of the time im scared im doing something wrong but- HEY. i need to be more confident in making mistakes. making mistakes doesn't define me as a person!! i need to stop worrying about doing life right and just live for the sake of living and doing what makes me happy!!!!!!!
#thank u blake. u really helped#also nessa!! thank u for that reblog about your perspective on my one post about feeling lost career wise#it helps me to know im not the only one living this life because holy fuck i can feel confused sometimes because.. am i doing this right?#and you know what? theres no correct path that i think there is but im just not good without a direct direction. it makes me a little#anxious about things#i dont know if its because i have some form of a disorder but i function better when i plan stuff out and give myself something to#decompress the problems and thoughts because in my brain theyre just all stuck and clumped together#and that can get a bit scary and overwhelming!!!#im just glad i have people that care about me. it means literally everything to me#so even if i dont 100% reply dont think i dont care because literally any ANY advice or kindness you show to me means the world#we're all just living this little life and we might as well make the best of it#people care..... thats just.... its good... it makes me feel less alone that people do#i love my friends so much#evennnn if we dont talk every day or are only mutuals in passing!!! it literally means a lot if people show me kindness#like holy shit!!! your older than me? and your dealing with a similar experience??? and your telling me that its okay??? and that itll be#okay?????#like#just the reassurance that things will be okay and work out and that im not the only one dealing with a feeling like mine#idk sometimes i just feel like im crazy and like my thoughts make no sense?? you know?? but yall get it#im glad that i have people who are older than me in my life cause yall have experienced stuff that i can use to be better#like your life experiences can help me in a way that can make a difference on my perspective on things#its why i like talking to my coworkers. because theyve seen things and done things i havent and their perspective can teach me potentially#i just dont feel so overwhelmed with life when i talk to people who understand#i feel so young and yet old enough to know but even the people who are older dont know so im sort of on the right track i suppose depending#on how you look at it#so- im just gonna live my life and smile because!!! you gotta.#you gotta surround yourself with people who can enrich you and teach you things for the better and make you want to grow#some of you are like that#you may not know that#but that kindness means so much
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just now realising that maybe i've engaged in some gaslighting of my parents but also it definitely wasn't an intentional act so like...idk. oop.
i don't tend to talk about my friends w/ my parents much but there is one key question i'll always answer truthfully 'who are you messaging?' and for years my way of answering was going 'friend from new york.' 'friend from wellington.' 'friend from michigan.' etc and sometimes my mum, in particular, would ask the followup question of who's that? so, depending on how well i knew this person, i might drop a name and/or a how we met (with minimal details generally lmao, one quick sentence) to satisfy her question, of course using pronouns during this. my parents generally remember my friends as 'the person from xyz' though.
i've had friends that have changed their name and/or pronouns in the past and when talking about them i just immediately update without commenting on it
because my parents generally remember my friends by location (or AT LEAST REFER TO THEM THAT WAY), not name or pronouns, i've never really been questioned so i assumed all was great
but i just remembered a time when my mum was like 'how's your friend in xyz going?' and i said oh i think he's good, we don't talk that much these days! and she said 'didn't you have another friend over there? i thought you used to talk about a girl you knew' and i, not connecting the dots, seriously said no? i don't know any girls in xyz? and she was like oh. i must be getting confused with someone else.
and for some reason it just NOW occurred to me that maybe my parents do actually remember the little details and i've just confused them multiple times by changing names/pronouns with zero comment. LIKE IF IT'S SOMEONE THEY'VE MET THEN YES I GO hey, just letting you know this person now uses he/him pronouns and the name zyx. BUT I JUST NEVER THOUGHT THEY REMEMBERED ENOUGH ABOUT MY INTERNET FRIENDS TO REQUIRE THAT COMMENT. my bad. i'm writing this post because it happened a second time recently and i was like oh. oh i might be the asshole. how many times have i done this. my bad. oh my god
#my parents are cool w/ trans people and such#but i don't think it's somewhere their brains jump to#like it needs to be spelled out#which is totally fine#but#I JUST DIDN'T REALISE I MAY HAVE BEEN CONFUSING THEM FOR SOME TIME NOW#i thought they didn't really remember any internet friends i might chat to beyond location#um. on the bright side. they probably don't remember your deadname. and if they do they'll never connect it with you#that deadname is another separate person who they may have imagined entirely because i'm denying existence#unintentionally#oh my god#what have i done
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Something that's quite strange to me as a danmei fan is how angry people get about people liking "bad characters" who do problematic things when.... that's part of the appeal of a lot of web novels for me? Like, yes, this character committed an unforgivable sin or did something terrible, but they still have to exist. They still have to put one foot in front of the other, and possibly more importantly, they're more than the bad thing they did. They do more than that bad thing. These are "real people" who make real mistakes, but they have to keep living anyway - those kind of stories are my favorite, and I would rather have an interesting problematic character than a boring good one.
#not a quote#like. people irl do unforgiveable things. and they can grow from it#and characters being 'bad' (or justifiably open to criticism) is something a lot of media is almost afraid of?#and like. they don't grow overnight bc no one does. they may not even admit they're wrong even when they realize they are#but the characters feel real because they have flaws. they're messy. they're confusing.#my posts#danmei#idk it's almost healing when a character does smth bad and isn’t guilty or is at least ALLOWED to be bad/have done bad things#bc humans aren't without flaws. and small things can feel unforgiveable when YOU do them.#so comparing it to a character who has done smth terrible and is still unharmed & usually loved is... good? idk#anyway I said danmei bc I see it most there (fans esp) but dpa does have some GREAT arcs in-book with this as well#discourse
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Yeah I'm genderfluid XD
Momo is my goopsona, they melt based off of their emotional state, and currently I don't have any art of their goopy form 😔
HEL YE
we rly do all be making shapeshifting sonas out here lmao
n ye! mine melts based off their emotional state too, on top of hot weather. (example: if they get super flustered lol)
#('m sry i kinda forgot to answer this ask today hh)#they can also intentionally melt ofc#and might do so as a defense mechanism#and today#i also decided while talking with my friend. fkin around bein silly#that they learned how to make themself explode#n his goop go everywhere#n he uses this to confuse attackers#(he originates in underfell. bc i'm a simp)#they do this by like. making a pocket of air (or magic?) in his chest and vry quickly pushing his goop out in every direction from that#tho learning this might'v also given themself a tic that makes them do it involuntarily lmao#bc i imagine it'd be a vry satisfying feeling#to jus#splode#(n things that feel satisfying often turn into tics)#tho it may be uncomfy afterward. having their body be jus. scattered all over lmao#but ye if their attacker is close enough. it'd also do some damage#on top of confusing them#:3#(okie 'm done rambling lmao)#sona lore#monstersona#didderd asks#mochamashi
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The dumbest shit ever to choose to watch players videos of what they would do if they were the mole because it’s so??? Nothing ?? Like, strategies change so much once you’re actually there it tells you absolutely nothing and you lost 5k
#they really said L + ratio like come ooooon#I was so shocked literally everyone took it like my guys my doods….. yall will get nothing from this#in fact it may make things even more confusing considering you’ll base your pick now off a video done pre meeting everyone where strategies#might have been adjusted for the mole lmao this people never seen a reality tv in their life#Q is so pookie do not let me down king!!!! I like him the most the rest I kinda feel neutral or dislike lol#I feel like the mole could be some people I suspect but we’ll see#muna defo up there or Michael tbh#the mole
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ggghhg i hate vehiclessssssss ghghghhghhhhh [dies dies dies forever]
#just me hi#i'm going to get right back to it but i need to complain or i'll turn into a stale loaf of Bread lmao :3👍#so here it is. why's it gotta be so hard hhghfh#okay buildings suck i hate buildings. but also they don't make me want to immediately explode at the merest hint of actually drawing them#vehicles?? Vehicles ???? i am going to just. what if i just put everyone in magical cardboard boxes and did that huh. what is the point !!#i have to draw motorcyclessss and carssssss and i'm okay with bikes to a degree actually <3 and horsessssssss and truckssssssssssss#god forbid you pick an older model with like 20 articles on it cuz most of them are going to only have a side profile and 3/4s view of that#dang thing. which yea sounds manageable 'why is this a problem keeps' i cannot properly see the FRONT#i have to guess?? i have to Guess ???? my dearest wish i think i'm just going to live in the sewers. with the sewer creatures#GGHHHHHHHHHHHH#i am going to practice drawing this stupid thing that i'm going to use for like 7 panels MAX and then i'm going to commit a FOUL crime. lik#rearranging someone's usual playlist without them knowing so they're confused every time they listen to it afterwards#//okay enough of that. we're good hbfhsfh :3#i have done other things today ! i've actually made a rough timeline for pi.e so thaaaat's cool :D#that and found a cool artist to follow on pillowfort. i. forgor their user but they have cool art .w.#/also i'm past the halfway mark on this first chapter which is !!!#i don't want to jinx myself cuz i know i'm really good at that hfhsv - but i think i'll start storyboarding the next part if i can get a#couple more pages done :D#//also the cowboy au grows stronger everyday hhhgfshvbh#i kind of knew some sort of au was inevitable but i did not think it would be an old west one loll :3#still trying to figure out the logistics#i wanna find some good historical fiction from those eras (1860s-70s) but i do not have the brain space for it rn fbhs - so this will do :>#it won't have any of the magic or gods i think bc of that but i'm having fun regardless :D#it Does have some occult though. because i was playing the story for my brother and i Do enjoy scaring him hhbvhfhsfvh#there are devils on the ranch!! or are they devils?? he hasn't gotten that far yet lol :>#//i also may have some sort of weird lean towards the spooky because Somehow each of my stories end up containing some sort of thriller#element?? lmao rip my siblings#but it never happens on purpose. again; rip my siblings hfhhvsh#//oo running out of tag space lol <//3#i shall return. probably with more wip stuff cuz i started like 4 canvases in 2 days hhghghdvs - toodles !!
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About my AHIT AU and fanfic:
Both my fanfic, Sins of the Fathers, and my main AU which it is based off, 'Specters and Space Aliens', are set in the same exact universe, and follow the same idea: Prince Charles is tricked by Moonjumper into eating souls, getting corrupted into Snatcher, Hat Kid is sent to him as a baby, and Snatcher ends up adopting the kid despite himself, giving up his soul-stealing ways and overcoming his corruption as he raises Hatty. And Hatty herself gets to grow up in Subcon Forest with a family of ghosts :P
And in both, the Subcon Family eventually goes up against Moonjumper, and I won't explain more than that because spoilers for SotF :P
There are, however, tiny differences between what happens in the fanfic and the AU I RP.
For one, I decided to omit my fan OC Misty from SotF, because honestly, I pretty much only created her to toy around with the idea of my Snatcher having at least one biological kid (even if in this case said 'biological' kid was created with magic).
Also, without giving too much away, right now I plan for SotF to end with a couple other people joining the Subcon Family.
Nonetheless, most RPs I do in the main Specters and Space Aliens verse are set after the events of the fanfic, with the Subcon family having already faced Moonjumper, and, for the most part, having gone back to living peacefully in their spooky forest home, with Hatty now going to a school in town and sometimes being taught about her original world and people by Tim, and Snatcher getting some much-needed therapy.
#my ahit au#mun speaks#tw: soul-stealing mention#tw: soul-eating mention#also again without giving too much of my fanfic away the family arrangement i have planned for the ending#is quite different from rps i've done w/my friend pinkie#i...actually may or may not change some things about the fanfic's ending because snatcher and her oc stella are such a cute couple TTATT#anyway gonna get back to rps in a bit i just felt like clarifying things for people who might be confused
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My last post inspired by me ringing my GP surgery and the receptionist says there is a note to do my referral to the gender clinic I requested, but it hasn't been done yet...there's only one person who does them and she does a 4 day week and there's a big backlog!
#i literally thought gps wrote the referrals themselves wtf is going on#i've never had a condition that needed a referral to be written before in my adult life#has it always been done this way??#i'm not super thrilled about all my awkward answers to the invasive questions being written out by a 3rd party!!#i would imagine that the reason specialist gender clinics may lack 'appropriate' gatekeeping to a sceptical eye#is because in order to get that far you have to say a load of embarrasing personal stuff to your completely untrained gp#who then writes it down for a 3rd party you have never spoken to who writes and sends the referral...at some point#and after your referral is in it's like 2 years for the first appointment#that already weeds out anyone taking the piss or who is just a confused tomboy or whatever transphobes think is happening
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I can’t wait until i get my drivers license. I’ll finally be able to just go for a quiet drive when it’s so late that everyone else is asleep and I’m feeling lonely and need to just get out of the house for a few hours. I’ll just be able to drive somewhere, park my car and stare up at the stars.
I think that’ll be nice...
#lee rambles#that's really the terrible thing about needing to rely on others for transport#coupled with the fact that all my friends are online... i can't just go meet them on a whim#maybe someday i'll be able to... i hope so#There are so many things i've never done with friends... i just hope i'll be able to do all of it someday#Like sleepovers or having a bonfire with them or going somewhere fun with them#i want to do it all#because i love them and even though i've only known them for just over a year#they... mean so much to me#I don't know what i'd do if i lost any of them#It's a crazy experience; going 5 whole years with no friends whatsoever; then finding yourself with some who love you#it's really eye-opening and confusing and... a little scary#but in a good way#I just find myself really realizing it sometimes and i just have to pause and take a moment to let myself get emotional#We may have our moments of ups and downs; but no matter what; i've loved them and they've done the same in return#I love them
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#this * situation is very conflicting cause on the one hand it’s like yay they’re finally away from that company and it’s good that someone#stood up to them#but on the other hand it’s not good that they’re now gonna run over to that woman#in a way it was better that they were separated idk#and some of the things the members have done / said were not ……. the smartest ? but at the same time u cant blame them because they grew up#surrounded by terrible ppl so even if they’re adults u can’t fault them ?#and it can be blamed on their naïveté which again isn’t their fault#their fans are awful tho and it would be nice for the members to say something (they may be otherwise occupied tho so that’s okay)#it’s just mmmmmmh i have a lot of thoughts about this but they’re all confusing#i want them to be safe and leaving is the safe thing but going to her isnt so !!!!!!!! ugh im getting a headache
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▶[Arcane preference] reacting to you wearing their clothes [Jayce, Viktor, Ekko, Vander, Silco, Jinx, Vi, Caitlyn, Mel, Sevika, ]
If you know me, hello little deers, I'm back! If you don’t know me, welcome! Just a heads-up that I don’t use "Y/N," but rather the impersonal "you," and even though I talk about clothes, no sizes or weight are involved. Enjoy the read!
Jayce:
- It’s not that rare when you’re together; he’s a real gentleman through and through. If it’s cold, he’ll give you his jacket, his scarf, anything to keep you warm
- But when you’re the one taking his clothes, it’s different
- When he sees you walking around the room in his shirt, just after waking up, something in his brain malfunctions
- It’s how it fits you, no matter how big or long it is, it seems like it was made just for you, to give you that look
- And to him, it feels like some kind of subliminal ad, as if the universe is making you so attractive in the simplicity of that gesture just to tell him he needs to hurry up and put a ring on your finger so he can enjoy that sight every day
- It’s hard for you to get anything done in the morning when he wakes up with those thoughts
- Those are the days when you stay in bed, cuddling under the covers, with him looking at you, hand on his cheek, getting more lost in you by the second
Viktor:
- For Viktor, the idea of a “little thief stealing his clothes” is an interesting one
- He’s never been a fan of tight-fitting clothes, plus, with his physique, it’s rare for anything to fit snugly anyway
- That’s why, except for his Academy uniform, the rest of his clothes are comfortable and at least two sizes too big for him, without mentioning Jayce's oversize ones in his closet
- What Viktor didn’t expect was that, once you started liking them, you’d just take them straight out of his drawer
- The first time he knocked on your door to ask if you’d seen his shirt —the very one you were wearing— he first stopped, confused, wondering how it had ended up on you
- And then, though he didn’t show it, he paused to notice with satisfaction how well it wrapped around your body
- Sometimes he pretends to forget his clothes at your place, just to see them on you, and to get them back with your scent on them
- For the nights when he feels lonelier
Ekko:
- Communism
- There’s not really a strong sense of what belongs to whom at the Tree, although some clothes (jackets in particular) eventually get so personalized that no one dares to take them anymore
- The first time you grabbed Ekko’s jacket, it was simply because you were freezing, it was really cold, and he was resting, so he didn’t need it
- But when he saw you wearing it, his pupils dilated so much you could notice it despite his very dark eyes
- Ever since then, it’s him who gives it to you and insists that you wear it, because he likes it: there’s something extremely intimate and deeply personal about walking around with you in his jacket
- It’s like marking you as his, but really, also reminding himself of it
- And Ekko may be proud, but one thing you quickly and painfully learn in the alleys is to say ‘I love you’ before it’s too late, and that small possessive gesture makes him feel fulfilled because it’s like he’s telling everyone that he couldn’t live without you
Vander:
- Vander’s clothes have this super-secret ability to change depending on who’s wearing them. For example, what are shirts on him turn into dresses on you
- When you put them on, even just for the sake of convenience, you find yourself laughing in front of every mirror you pass by
- And if he notices, he can’t help but hug you from behind, leaning down to rub his nose against your neck, smiling against your skin
- “You know,” he says every single time, “it looks better on you than it does on me,” and no matter how false it might be, in his eyes, it’s truer than almost anything else
- After seeing you a few times in his grown-up man's clothes, he decided to dig through an old box to find the clothes from when he was younger and mend them before leaving them folded on your side of the bed, like a little gift
Silco:
- Silco’s strangest habit was the connection he had with his clothes: they looked like Piltover garments, except for the boots and the shirt under the velvet vest, yet they were torn, poorly mended, and worn out in several places
- Despite being the richest man in the undercity, he never changed them
- The only newer piece in his wardrobe that he used to wear was his coat, which was in perfect condition, scented with cologne, and lined with soft velvet that followed the direction of your fingers when you touched it
- Sure, there were ceremonial outfits, pajamas, and something comfortable yet always elegant, but he had worn them so little that they almost didn’t seem like his
- That’s why one day you simply decided you were bored, and while he was in a meeting, you could take the opportunity to try on the ones that fit you
- But that little fashion show from his wardrobe to the mirror probably took longer than expected, and definitely you were too focused, because you didn’t notice the tall figure watching you, leaning against the doorframe
- “Don’t take that off, I’ve got an idea or two,” his voice broke the silence, making you jump
Jinx:
- Her clothes are more like a flea market than a wardrobe: there are men’s clothes, women’s clothes, from Piltover and Zaun, intact, held together by metal staples, clean, splattered with paint, torn from explosions, some so small you wonder who they could even fit, and some so large that you and at least four of her father’s henchmen could comfortably fit in them with room to spare
- She’s the one who tells you to grab something from the pile the first time you ask to help her with her calculations and experiments, and in the end, you choose something comfortable rather than something intact or clean
- It took her a good half hour to notice, and then another hour to stop talking about it
- It was something she hadn’t done since she had a family, sharing clothes with someone else, and suddenly she realized just how much she missed it
- Every now and then, she’d give you oversized shirts on purpose, just to disappear under the fabric and snuggle up to you, where she felt sheltered enough to feel less vulnerable
Vi:
- Vi’s mentality was interesting because, by accident, if she noticed you were eyeing someone’s clothes with interest, somehow the next day those clothes would end up on your bed
- Vi would do anything for you; if it were up to her, you’d be dressed in pearls and gold, but neither the place nor her situation allowed it
- That’s why she never offered you her clothes: the older ones were tattered, barely definable as rags, which she stubbornly patched up every month
- The new ones were stolen, spoils from street fights, but they always came in looking battered and worn, or worse, stained with blood or strange substances, so they weren’t good for you
- When she saw you wearing a sweater from her wardrobe, stained and burned in spots, the first thing she felt was guilt
- She hated not being able to treat you the way she wanted to
- But from that day on, she made sure to at least wash her clothes before putting them away, and slowly she learned to love the clothes you stole a little more than the others
- That sweater, for example, she would defend it with her life
Caitlyn:
- Whenever you stayed over at her place, she always made sure to provide everything for you: slippers, socks, pajamas, anything you might need
- And it was always the highest quality you had ever seen
- So seeing you in her clothes wasn’t new, although she sometimes liked to have you try on things she didn’t wear anymore, partly because she couldn’t due to her important name, and partly because she spent half her time in uniform
- Those little fashion shows almost always ended with her on top of you, while you are very busy figuring out how to stay quiet so none of the servants, or worse, her parents, would catch you
- It didn’t matter if the clothes didn’t suit you, being able to see you in so many different lights made her fall even more in love with everything about you
- The final blow? One day she decided to look through the enforcers’ uniforms to find one that would fit you, and for the first time, she saw you in clothes that matched hers
- There was something about it that made her hope that uniform would change the chemistry of your brain too and make you join the force, just so she could spend more time with you, just so she could see you like that more often
Mel:
- For Mel, it wasn’t an event: she was used to everything, mastering her emotions, and seeing you wearing something of hers had only left her confused for a second, from which she quickly recovered, smiling at you
- “It looks really good on you, you know?” she had asked
- It didn’t bother her. Objectively, you seemed stupid borrowing those elegant clothes tailored exactly to her body
- It almost felt like heresy to wear the clothes of a goddess-like figure. But the goddess had sensed something, and she began buying and commissioning outfits for both you and her, matching, so you wouldn’t feel like you were missing something
- But there was one moment, a specific one, where seeing you in one of her dresses had left her speechless
- When you told her that the sweater was so beautiful it was almost a shame knowing she couldn’t wear it on the day you’d marry her
- And Mel Medarda came from a land of war, where it was hard to get attached to people, let alone objects
- Yet from that day, that piece of clothing became a constant for her, even if it meant layering or pulling it down to keep her shoulders bare
- Because it no longer just warmed her skin; it began to warm something deeper, something she hadn’t even realized she had
Sevika:
- Her clothes reflected her line of work: dirty, unpleasant, dangerous
- But despite that, she would drape them over you herself, no matter how worn they were: if she thought you might be cold, without a word, you’d find a sweater or hoodie on your shoulders
- And even though she’d glance at you from the corner of her eye, she wouldn’t stop watching you for a single moment when you wore something of hers
- It was a matter of homeland—there was no ownership in Zaun, not even last names, as even the family you belonged to was irrelevant compared to what you could do
- And the gangs, thugs, and troublemakers wouldn’t hesitate to steal what was yours
- But you were hers, and you couldn’t be stolen. And that shirt was hers, but she didn’t feel mutilated, like she normally would, when you wore it
- In fact, she loved it, opening her arms to invite you to snuggle up, holding you carefully so the prosthetic wouldn’t bother you, adjusting the clothing on you ten, a hundred times, almost unconsciously
- And when you wore her clothes, it felt like for a little while, you could wear her skin too, to understand her better, and she suddenly seemed more vulnerable
#jayce x reader#viktor x reader#ekko x reader#silco x reader#vander x reader#jinx x reader#vi x reader#caitlyn x reader#sevika x reader#mel x reader#jayce talis#viktor arcane#ekko arcane#silco arcane#arcane vander#jinx#vi arcane#caitlyn kiramman#mel medarda#sevika#arcane x reader#arcane headcanon#arcane 2#arcane writing
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HOW TO WRITE A CHARACTER WHO IS IN PAIN
first thing you might want to consider: is the pain mental or physical?
if it’s physical, what type of pain is it causing? — sharp pain, white-hot pain, acute pain, dull ache, throbbing pain, chronic pain, neuropathic pain (typically caused by nerve damage), etc
if it’s mental, what is the reason your character is in pain? — grief, heartbreak, betrayal, anger, hopelessness, fear and anxiety, etc
because your character will react differently to different types of pain
PHYSICAL PAIN
sharp and white-hot pain may cause a character to grit their teeth, scream, moan, twist their body. their skin may appear pale, eyes red-rimmed and sunken with layers of sweat covering their forehead. they may have tears in their eyes (and the tears may feel hot), but they don’t necessarily have to always be crying.
acute pain may be similar to sharp and white-hot pain; acute pain is sudden and urgent and often comes without a warning, so your character may experience a hitched breathing where they suddenly stop what they’re doing and clench their hand at the spot where it hurts with widened eyes and open mouth (like they’re gasping for air).
dull ache and throbbing pain can result in your character wanting to lay down and close their eyes. if it’s a headache, they may ask for the lights to be turned off and they may be less responsive, in the sense that they’d rather not engage in any activity or conversation and they’d rather be left alone. they may make a soft whimper from their throat from time to time, depends on their personality (if they don’t mind others seeing their discomfort, they may whimper. but if your character doesn’t like anyone seeing them in a not-so-strong state, chances are they won’t make any sound, they might even pretend like they’re fine by continuing with their normal routine, and they may or may not end up throwing up or fainting).
if your character experience chronic pain, their pain will not go away (unlike any other illnesses or injuries where the pain stops after the person is healed) so they can feel all these types of sharp pain shooting through their body. there can also be soreness and stiffness around some specific spots, and it will affect their life. so your character will be lucky if they have caretakers in their life. but are they stubborn? do they accept help from others or do they like to pretend like they’re fine in front of everybody until their body can’t take it anymore and so they can no longer pretend?
neuropathic pain or nerve pain will have your character feeling these senses of burning, shooting and stabbing sensation, and the pain can come very suddenly and without any warning — think of it as an electric shock that causes through your character’s body all of a sudden. your character may yelp or gasp in shock, how they react may vary depends on the severity of the pain and how long it lasts.
EMOTIONAL PAIN
grief can make your character shut themself off from their friends and the world in general. or they can also lash out at anyone who tries to comfort them. (five states of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and eventual acceptance.)
heartbreak — your character might want to lock themself in a room, anywhere where they are unseen. or they may want to pretend that everything’s fine, that they’re not hurt. until they break down.
betrayal can leave a character with confusion, the feelings of ‘what went wrong?’, so it’s understandable if your character blames themself at first, that maybe it’s their fault because they’ve somehow done something wrong somewhere that caused the other character to betray them. what comes after confusion may be anger. your character can be angry at the person who betrayed them and at themself, after they think they’ve done something wrong that resulted in them being betrayed, they may also be angry at themself next for ‘falling’ for the lies and for ‘being fooled’. so yes, betrayal can leave your character with the hatred that’s directed towards the character who betrayed them and themself. whether or not your character can ‘move on and forgive’ is up to you.
there are several ways a character can react to anger; they can simply lash out, break things, scream and yell, or they can also go complete silent. no shouting, no thrashing the place. they can sit alone in silence and they may cry. anger does make people cry. it mostly won’t be anything like ‘ugly sobbing’ but your character’s eyes can be bloodshot, red-rimmed and there will be tears, only that there won’t be any sobbing in most cases.
hopelessness can be a very valid reason for it, if you want your character to do something reckless or stupid. most people will do anything if they’re desperate enough. so if you want your character to run into a burning building, jump in front of a bullet, or confess their love to their archenemy in front of all their friends, hopelessness is always a valid reason. there’s no ‘out of character’ if they are hopeless and are desperate enough.
fear and anxiety. your character may be trembling, their hands may be shaky. they may lose their appetite. they may be sweaty and/or bouncing their feet. they may have a panic attack if it’s severe enough.
and I think that’s it for now! feel free to add anything I may have forgotten to mention here!
#how to#writers on writing#writing#whump#writer#whumpblr#writers#writeblr#angst#writing guide#writing resources#writing challenge#writing inspo#writing inspiration#whump prompts#whump prompt#writing tropes#writing trope#ao3#archive of our own#fanfic#blorbo#comfort character#fanfiction#tropes#trope#whump tropes#prompts#prompt#whump trope
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"tears"
fluff for the sukuna fans bc i've been in a soft sukuna mood
ryomen sukuna x reader
Synopsis: sukuna isn't a stranger to arguments with you, but when he catches you crying after a particularly harsh one, he finds himself scrambling to fix it... in his own way
to sum it up: sukuna is an asshole but he loves you, so he tries his best
WC: 3,296
Warning(s): a lil angst
You knew exactly what you were getting into when you first started a relationship with the infamous king of curses, but that didn’t mean it hurt any less when his tendency to be an asshole hurt your feelings.
You know Sukuna isn’t a sentimental person who cares much for things like verbal reassurance, or consideration for the way the things he says can impact you, or anyone for that matter, but damn! Sometimes, he’s just too much of a jerk for you to handle, and Sukuna himself has no idea why your fragile human emotions sway you to be so affected by him. He doesn’t even think he’s said anything wrong the times in which you grow angry with him.
Now, Sukuna can handle your anger. Anger is good. Anger means that there is something he can react to, something he can tame or involve into your intimacies when he takes your mind off of silly arguments or subdues your attitude over what he deems to be small inconveniences. Anger is the only human emotion that he has felt himself in his many years of existence, so he knows what to expect. He understands it. He’s not, in the slightest, intimidated by it.
But what Sukuna finds he can not handle is the sound of your sniffles that resound from behind your door after you’ve just slammed it into his face. Sukuna angles his brows, pressing his ear to the door in confusion. Are you… cold? Coming down with a fever? What the hell are you sniffing your nose so much for?
Then he hears the meek gasps that intercept, the vocalization of pain that creeps into your weakened inhalations that accompany your damned sniffling. That’s when he realizes that you’re crying, and his pupils shrink slightly knowing that he has gone a little too far this time.
Hell, how is he supposed to handle you crying? He can’t fuck your sadness away like he can with your irritation. He can’t mirror your sadness, since he has no clue what the hell it’s supposed to feel like. He can’t empathize with it either, for he has no idea what he could have done to bring tears to your eyes and empathy, well, it’s not in his vocabulary to begin with. It’s pathetic, he thinks, the way you have allowed him to bother you this much…
Yet it kills him to know that he’s the reason behind your tears.
He stands there for some time, unsure of what to do. Should he get Uraume to handle this? No, that may make things worse. You may want to be alone.
He turns to leave, but something stops him. He feels an ache in his chest, pressing his hand to his bicep. What the hell? What is this feeling?
He can still hear you crying, and somehow, it sounds like it’s getting worse, louder, or perhaps that is all in his head. He can no longer tell, but that sound you’re making is the only thing occupying his mind, and it’s ruining him. It’s making his chest tighten, his brow furrow, his lips press together tightly. He should leave, but he doesn’t want to. He doesn’t want to abandon you like this.
Never once in his life has Sukuna felt remorse. Not even for all the times he has made you angry in the past when you two have had arguments. He is so quick to blame your reactions to things on your feeble human emotions. He is so quick to evade responsibility, or more so, refrain from guilting himself over the things he is responsible for. He is so quick to dismiss you, but it’s always fine because he has never witnessed you grow sad over his behavior, not until now.
Sukuna turns back to your door slowly. His hand flies to grab the handle to throw the door open, but he hesitates. He’s unsure of what’s happening to him, for he’s never hesitated before in his life. This, you crying, him second guessing himself, it’s all so new and he hates it. He needs to fix this immediately.
What do you humans like when you are upset? There’s a word that’s slipping his mind, one he always hears you pester him for but turns down repeatedly. He had found the concept so irrelevant that he hadn’t even bothered to recall what it’s called.
He crosses his arms and stares ahead harshly in thought, then it comes to him. An apology! Yes, that’s what it is. But of course, you can’t expect him to verbalize such a thing. You must want something as a gift. A physical representation of his desire not to see you cry. He rushes off to locate Uraume for preparations.
About an hour later, you’re curled up on your bed and facing the wall with a blank stare. Your tears stopped a while ago, and since you hadn’t heard from Sukuna, you assumed he just didn’t care about your feelings. Like always.
“Oi,” a gruff voice through the door startles you. You jump and turn over, curling your brows in confusion at the sound of Sukuna’s voice. For a moment, you don’t believe he is speaking to you, so you wait some time to see if he will speak again. “I know you can hear me in there,” his voice sounds again, and you groan.
“Go away,” you tell him, flipping back over.
Sukuna, on the other side of the wall, clicks his tongue in agitation. “Quit your pouting and come open this door.”
“No. Until you learn how to treat me better, I don’t want to see you.”
Treat you better? Sukuna doesn’t understand this nonsense. You live in his large estate, you’re pampered by servants, showered with gifts and homemade meals, you sleep by his side every night, and he allows you to disrespect him far more often than he should. Not to mention, he has his arms full of presents at this very moment that are preventing him from opening the door himself. How can he possibly treat you any better than he’s already treating you?
He growls lowly and closes his eyes in irritation. “If you open the door, your mood will improve.”
“I don’t want anything other than what I just said.”
Sukuna’s eye twitches. Why are you so damn difficult? “What is your-”
“Go. Away.”
Oh. Alright, then.
You sit up abruptly when Sukuna’s foot breaks in the door with a loud crash. You stare with wide eyes, the door, now off its hinge, creaking open weakly to reveal the king of curses with his arms full of several bouquets of flowers.
“What the fuck, Sukuna?!” you cry. He only stares frustratedly as he walks into the space univinted.
“This was going to go on for too long if I hadn’t done something,” he says, approaching the side of your bed.
“You can’t just- fuck! What is wrong with you?”
Okay… this is already going poorly.
This is not the reaction he had desired from you, and perhaps he should have revisited the idea of kicking in the door, but he had been growing impatient. Despite his big talk, he doesn’t like when you speak to him in such a cold way. He doesn’t like being separated from you. He doesn’t like not being able to see your face, and after all the work he has just done to collect these plants for you, he can not tolerate being turned away.
“Must you be so dramatic?” he tsks. “Do you not see what I have brought to you? Don’t you humans like these things?”
You stare at him incredulously, mouth agape. Sukuna can see the tear stains clear on your face, and his heart clenches again. God, why is that sight so abominable?
He holds his arms out, presenting the flowers to you as if you could have possibly missed them. “They are yours. Take them and be done with this.”
“Be done with what, Sukuna?” you shake your head, face scrunched.
“With your tantrum- your tears, and the sniffles. Be done with them now. Here.”
You scoff. “Do you even know why you're giving these to me?”
Sukuna raises a brow. “To cease your tantrum. As I just said.”
“I can’t with you sometimes, Sukuna. Honestly.”
“This is really the thanks that I get for bringing you these damn flowers? I thought you were supposed to like things like this. Why would you make me waste my time?”
“If you think it’s a fucking waste of time to bring me flowers, then there’s your problem right there,” you raise your voice, pointing at him accusingly. Sukuna’s face hardens. He thinks you’re getting angry again, but he can still see the sadness behind your eyes. You look almost… defeated. “And if you knew me at all, you’d know that I never cared about any of that stuff. I never cared about the flashiness or the gifts or whatever the fuck.”
Sukuna lowers his hands, letting the bouquets drop carelessly to the floor. “Now you are accusing me of not knowing you?” he seethes. “I’m not sure when you decided that it was acceptable for you to speak to me this way, but I will not tolerate it. I do nothing but dote on you, you ungrateful brat.”
“Yeah, sure, you dote on me, and then you turn around and berate me and call everything I feel stupid because you don’t care to even try to understand why some of the things you say are not okay!”
Sukuna walks closer to invade your personal space, leaning in to glare angrily at you as you do the same. This is what he knows. This is what he chooses to respond to. Not the curl in your brow, not the tremble of your lips, not the unsteadiness of your voice, but your anger. “Why should I care if all you do is whine,” he grumbles.
You clamp your mouth shut as a lump forms in your throat. Sukuna watches you unravel before him, and while he tries to keep an unmoved expression, he is internally panicking when he sees your eyes gloss over again and your nose flare.
Shit. He’s supposed to be making you feel better. How has he gone and made things worse again? Why is he incapable of understanding how to be what you want him to be?
You take in a trembling inhale as your hands clench and unclench at your sides. You don’t want him to see you cry. You don’t want him to call you weak, but you can’t help the tear that breaks past your lashes and dashes down your cheek, a physical display of your heartache.
Sukuna’s crimson eyes fly to the tear, and his brows smooth out against his intent.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
You’re crying again, and it’s his fault. It’s always been his fault. What is this now that he’s feeling? Regret? Shame? Is that what is clawing at his chest and stripping him of his resolve? Making him wish to replay this entire interaction so that you do not appear before him with tears in your eyes once more? Is this what it is to fall?
You rub angrily at your eyes and huff, turning away from him and plopping back down on your bed, back facing him. You shut yourself away, close yourself off, and deprive Sukuna of your pretty face for the second time today. “Just leave me alone. You’ve made it perfectly clear that you don’t give a fuck about me or anything, for that matter.”
Sukuna’s eyes widen slightly with the deepening of his frown. That ache he has felt in his chest spreads throughout his body, serving as tension in his back, head, and shoulders. You think he doesn’t care for you? What nonsense. You’re the only being on this planet who has made a millennia of existence worth living, and you think he doesn’t care?
Sukuna can not even pin the blame onto you this time around. He can not accuse you of overreacting, nor can he evade such a thing that is so clearly his doing. He has made you feel uncared for, and while his temper may get out of hand, and his inability to fully comprehend the plagues of the human mind gets in the way, and he never tells you that he loves you, making you feel unloved is the last thing he ever meant to do.
“Hey,” he mumbles, but you do not move. You cling to yourself for comfort because you do not believe he can provide any for you. “Brat-” he starts, but rethinks. He reaches his hand out to you. “(Y/n). Enough of this.”
“I don’t want to see you right now, Sukuna. Can’t you respect at least that for once?” you croak.
His hand freezes and he lets it fall. Respect. Understanding. That is what you want from him, and he has not been giving it to you. He has not been giving you anything that you request of him emotionally, for that matter. He has been neglecting your mental needs whilst overpowering you with the physical, and it’s drawn you away from him.
He could force you to get up. He could drag you by your hair to his bedroom. He could make you look him in the eye, make you stay with him, make you stay silent about this from this point on and forever more. Sukuna has the power and the authority to do so…
But the idea is not appealing. Not in the slightest.
Sukuna wants you happy. He wants you to want to be with him willingly, and if he ignores your consent now of all times, it would be like throwing away the life he has built with you. Throwing away your desires, and Sukuna does not long for a world in which you are any more uncomfortable than you already are.
He takes a step back, looking over the flowers that he has dropped, and accepts the will of the mortal he fell in love with.
“I will be in my chambers if or whenever you wish to see me,” he says lowly, giving in. He moves to leave but stops himself once more. He never had stopped himself this much before. “...I apologize for making you cry. I will send someone to fix your door immediately.”
Sukuna is well on his way when he hears you shuffling behind him. He turns, admittedly hopeful for your reaction, and finds you peeking in confusion over your shoulder. “...What did you just say?” you whisper.
The king of curses stalls, looking directly into your eyes from across the room. He feels suddenly… weak. Vulnerable. For the first time, he has relented his power for you to take hold of, and it feels strange to say the very least. “Do you wish for me to repeat myself?”
You sit up slowly, turning around. You knuckle at your red nose, watching him suspiciously. “I do. I may have misheard you.”
He studies you for a moment until he realizes that you are being facetious. “You heard me the first time.”
“Maybe I just want you to say it again.”
Sukuna sighs heavily. “I did not intend to make you cry, nor did I intend to make you feel as though I do not care for you. That is a foolish thought, but I understand I do not convey the depth of my feelings for you the way you wish me to convey it.”
You look dumbfounded as you stare at him in silence. Sukuna clicks his tongue, unsure of how you are going to respond.
“Quit staring at me and say something, woman.”
“I just… never thought…” you trail off, swallowing harshly. “I never thought you would ever say something like that to me.”
“You will only hear me say such things when you are- when I’ve made you unhappy,” he clarifies firmly. Your nose twitches, an involuntary movement that Sukuna catches and finds entirely too adorable. Your eyes are still damp, but your breathing has evened out.
“That’s the first,” you quip.
“Enough.”
You press your lips together, glancing at the flowers Sukuna brought you. Just then, you notice that they are your favorite.
You tell yourself you knew what you were getting into when you first started dating the king of curses, but at times you forget that Sukuna is in fact a demon, and a king at that. He does not believe in any better than what he is.
“You hurt my feelings, Sukuna,” you say softly. “Don’t you get what that means? At least for me?”
“No,” he responds honestly. “But I do see now that you have different needs. And I understand that I refuse to watch you cry if there is something I can do about it.”
You try to remain angry with him. You try to keep yourself distanced, but you can not help the way that you are softening, and Sukuna notices. A hint of a smirk curves at the corner of his lips.
“Is that all I had to say to make this better?”
“Shut the hell up,” you hiss. “It wouldn’t have killed you to apologize for the hundreds of other times we’ve fought, you know.”
“You weren’t crying the other times, woman.”
“It doesn’t matter,” you roll your eyes.
Sukuna tilts his head, placing a hand on his hip. “You’re not still upset, are you?”
“Yes,” you pout, and he catches on.
“What is it you want now, to be pampered like a spoiled brat?”
He makes the suggestion as if to offend you, but the two of you both know that he is hardly making a joke. “What I want is for you to fuck off.”
A chuckle rumbles in Sukuna’s throat as he makes his way over to you. You immediately break and screech when he yanks you forward by your ankle and loops you up into his arms before sitting down on your bed and setting you in his lap.
He looks you dead in the eye and lifts a rough thumb, swiping stubbornly at your tear stains and your damp lashes. “Crybaby,” he mutters, and you swat his hand away.
“Whatever, asshole.” You push at his chest with weak contempt and he looks at you boredly.
“You’re pitiful,” he grumbles, gripping your chin securely and guiding it to him. His blood red eyes seep into yours, gazing intently. “No more tears, do you understand?”
“Then don’t make me sad.”
“I won’t,” he tells you confidently.
A smile twitches on your lips as you look over him, completely unfamiliar with this side of the king of curses. “Can you do one more thing for me, and then I’ll maybe think about forgiving you?” you bite your lip, pressing your finger to his broad shoulder.
Sukuna grunts. “More demands, huh? I suppose you know how to take advantage of a situation. What more do you want?”
You wrap your arms over his neck. “Tell me how much you care about me,” you sing.
“Did I not just do so?”
“No, I want you to spell it out. Tell me you love me.”
“I highly tolerate you.”
“Tell me you loveeee me.”
“You are the only human being I do not frown upon.”
“Sukuna.”
“Christ, woman, you’re mine. Isn’t that enough?” he grits his teeth and you snort, patting his cheek gently.
“For now.”
“Such a pest, you know that?” he mumbles, pushing in swiftly to press his lips firmly to yours in a swift peck. “Don’t ever say I don’t care for you again. It is the most false and offensive thing I have ever heard."
#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen#jjk fanfic#anime#jjk fandom#jjk#jjk season 2#jjk x you#jujutsu kaisen sukuna#sukuna ryomen#sukuna x reader#ryomen sukuna#sukuna ryomen x reader#ryomen sukuna x reader#sukuna ryomen x you#ryomen x reader#sukuna x reader fluff#sukuna x y/n#sukuna angst
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