#and making friends happy by giving them a tasty little treat? fucking AMAZING

[theworstcreature]

Friends with benefits (I make things and tasty treats and give them to you)

[bat-eclecticwolfbouquet-love]

🐍: tbh I live shigarakis smile. Whenever he smiles it’s a treat and, I was wondering how he would react to an s/o who would do literally anything for him so she could see him smile and be happy, whether it be going 14 rounds in a row in bed, or suckling his balls for hours, or you know, cuddling n stuff (but let’s face it I think you know I wanna hear about shiggy dick). Just finding major satisfaction when she’s able to make him feel better physically and emotionally. Also, just wanted to say, that I think that you my friend, are a marvelous writer and person.

TALK OF SEX SO THAT MEANS SMUT PEOPLE

Making Shigaraki smile, simple

Show him you love him, give him the affection he so desperately craves.

Thread your fingers though his hair

Kiss his scars, showing him that you aren't afraid to touch them. You think he's beautiful and that includes his scars.

Make him feel like your proud to call him your boyfriend.

Sex. A lot of sex

Suck that thick dick of his, deep throat that thing, gag on it. When he cums swallow every drop. I mean he will make you anyway.

Sit on his face. Your thighs encasinging his head, your wet pussy suffocating him while he eats you out, licking, sucking and probing that tasty sex of yours.

Some him how good he makes you feel. Beg him to fuck you. Moan for him, cry out his name. Buck your hips as his fingers rub your lips and clit.

Let him know how huge his cock is. How he always moves just right. How he makes you cum over and over. That he makes you soak your panties with how horny he gets you.

If he wants to put a collar on you let him, he'll do it anyway. Be a good pet for him.

Take his cock whenever he wants you too. The way you quiver and flutter around his shaft gives him the best high.

Hold him, give him plenty of cuddles.

Bathe him, let's face it he was never taken care of and your gonna have to play several rolls. A dotting girlfriend, a obedient pet, fuck doll, cum whore, house wife and mommy all in one. But the comfort it brings him when you walk him, he could just fall asleep. Its so soothing

Initiate sex. Yes Shigaraki is the dominant one but he needs to know that your so horny, so wet, so in need of his cock that you can't help but be all over him. Please Shiggy I want you so much, I have to have you inside me. He'll never forget those words.

When's his pounding that leaking cock between those tight slick walls of yours and says "you like that don't you, you want me to empty my cock in you little slut" tell him "yes sir, please. Fuck I need you, fill me up master" he'll nearly nut right then. But this is Shigaraki and he has amazing control and stamina so you in for a long night.

Tell him how hot he is. If he doesn't believe you take hold of his hand and guide to the area between your legs, placing it on your dripping core and tell him "See what you do to me baby" . His eyes will light up, a smile grows on his face "you want me this badly kitten, I'll give it all to you" before you know it he has you trapped beneath him, his lips exploring and pleasing while those long finger play with your aching pussy.

[liibrii]

Chapter 3: In the light, your name

Ojiro Aran x fem!reader

Series Masterpost || Ch. 1 || Ch. 2

wc: 4.7k

warnings: time skip spoilers, swearing, internalised guilt and shame, intrusive thoughts, self doubt, drinking.

a/n: this only took forever cause I got carried away (what a surprise). if you wanna be tagged in future chapters lemme know, and as always feedback is greatly appreciated! 

A step forward, two steps back. Like a dance, just like his mother taught him, dancing and laughing back home, only this dance holds no joy, only cruel turns and twirls and your hand slipping from his as fate whisks you away.

“One Ace special coming up!“ Osamu places a plate of freshly made onigiris in front of Aran. They look amazing, as if taken directly out of one of those fancy cooking books. The practice had been especially gruelling that day and yet Aran has no appetite. All he wants is to go home and sleep. He would have, if Gao hadn't dragged him to the newly opened Tokyo branch of Onigiri Miya.

More out of politeness than really being hungry he takes a bite. It's good, much better than ones he remembers Osamu bringing to practice. “Woah, this is tasty!“

Osamu practically beams at Aran's praise. Even he has changed, notices Aran. Has he grown a little? The grey of his hair is gone, and he smiles so much more. Aran doesn't remember ever seeing him so talkative.

Has everyone changed so much while he wasn't paying attention?

While chewing he pulls phone from his bag, in some silly hope there'd be a message from you. But the screen is empty and seeing his screensaver is almost a mocking to his hopes. What else did he expect? People don't always mean what they say, but a storm doesn't mean to blow away roofs either.

Lost in his thoughts Aran barely takes notice when Gao says his goodbye and other customers slowly start leaving.

Osamu closes the shop then places two more cans of beer on the counter. Without much enthusiasm Aran opens the can and pours the fizzling liquid into a glass. Which drink was it, third? Fourth? For a moment he considers telling Osamu everything. About you, how he feels and how he screwed up. Just to get it out there. But Aran knows Osamu talks to Atsumu, and Atsumu never learned what keeping a secret means. So he blames his sour mood on practice.

 Even if Aran was a good liar Osamu'd see through his little ticks. They've been the same ever since elementary school and so obvious; the nervous scratching of his nails, rubbing of his neck. Ever since he'd grown a beard he added rubbing it to the list.

“I should probably get goin',“ says Aran before downing half the glass in one long gulp.

“What's a few more minutes?“ Osamu doesn't bother pouring his beer. “I'll clean up later. Don't have any other plans anyway.“

A low chuckle leaves Aran's lips. “Life goin' that good, yeah?”

“Could say that. Could be far worse. How about ya?“

Aran massages his temples. He's getting light headed and still he takes another long sip. “Like ya said, could be far worse. Had a rough couple weeks. Women, ya know?“

Osamu hums and nods, wisely. “Women. Got dumped, did ya?“

“In a way...“

“What happened, did ya forget her birthday or somethin'?“

Aran laughs. Oh no, he knows exactly when your birthday is. “Said somethin' stupid.“

“Just somethin'? If she gets upset so fast then maybe she's trouble.“

“Wasn't like that. She trusted me and I... had a bad day and took it out on her.“

Osamu takes an onigiri Aran hasn't touched yet. “Have ya apologised?“ He asks with his mouth full. “Should start with that,“ he continues after Aran shakes his head, “treat her to dinner. I know some good restaurants if ya want. Or better, cook somethin' yerself.“ He opens the browser on his phone. “What's her favorite food?“

Aran tells him. “Whichever recipe ya find I can tell ya right now I can't cook it.“

“I found a few even Tsumu can make,“ laughs Osamu still scrolling through his phone. “What's she like? More into fancy stuff or more homey? Fried rice's easy but not very fancy, more of a safe bet. Maybe with an omelette. I can show ya how to make it to look like a panda. Success guaranteed!“

“How can omelette look like a panda? It's yellow.“ 

“A yellow bear then,“ Osamu shruggs before putting away his phone. “Does she like bears?“

“Does- I ain't sure...“

“Ya don't know?“

“No! Why would I? Is that what ya ask folk ya take on dates?“

“Usually I ask what they think about apple curry.“

“I don't think she likes apple curry... Or maybe she does...“ He gloomily stares at the empty glass in front of him. “Gimme one more.“

Osamu obliges and pours him one more, deciding this is the last one for him. Aran's eyes are getting glassy and he dreamily observes the white foam before downing half the glass.

“We went down to the Kamakura beach,” he says, scratching at his immaculate fingernails. “She looked s' pretty in the sunset... She likes sunsets... I think. Ain't sure 'bout anythin' these days.“

“Everyone likes sunsets,“ nods Osamu. “Never trust people who don't like seein' sunsets. I'm tellin' ya, buy her some udon. Or bring her here, I'll give ya a special discount.“

Aran bursts into laughter. “He'll know then...“ Osamu leans his head to the side, wondering what his old teammate meant by that. “She's ex of a friend.“

“Ow,“ is all Osamu says. That explains everything. You don't date a friends' ex. “Sorry. She sounds great.“

“Yeah, yeah she is... Kinda almost like a whasit's called again, kotatsu? Warm...“ He's just blabbering now, his mind a hazy labyrinth of disconnected thoughts. He misses you, he misses you so bad, and he fucked up, and he doubts cooking you a dinner would repair the damage he's done. Once it would be pretty easy to bribe you with the right snacks but you've changed. You've changed so much he still fears he doesn't know you at all. “Hey Samu? Hav' I changed?“

“Yea? I doubt the old Aran-kun wouldda come to me for advice.“

Corners of Aran's lips perk up. Why is his glass empty? “Yer a good guy ‘Samu. Can ya call me a taxi? I've got practice t'morrow.“

He has to stop visiting Onigiri Miya on the evenings Aran thinks on another morning after drinking and talking with Osamu till late night hours. The cool breeze of the early morning hours is refreshing but isn't doing anything to ease the hammering in his head. Sky without a cloud promises the day to be sunny and hot. Aran's just glad he found his sunglasses ad that the gym has air conditioning.

There's a distant ringing in his ears. Ringing that doesn't stop and causes other people on the train to send him sideway looks. It's because his phone is ringing but he's too focused on trying not to throw up to notice. He only does so once he's walking the short walk from the train station to the gym. Seeing your name over the 'missed call' almost makes him drop the phone. He calls you back, frantically tapping his fingers on his arm, hoping you'll pick up. You don't.

The sun is too bright. Pouring rain would be more appropriate to his mood. Aran's glad he can hide from the warm rays inside the gym. No matter his mood volleyball always takes his mind off things, and even now he hopes it will help him see things more clearly. The thought of you has become a wind chime, singing at every little thing that makes him think of you. Staying focused on the ball in front of him is harder than expected. But first and foremost he's a professional volleyball player with a new season just around the corner. He can't let his team, his fans down. Since your first year of high school you've been his supporter too. He can't let you down.

When his phone rings again he’s in the middle of receiving drills and this call too goes unanswered. Instead your message waits for him.

��          (9. 45) Aran are u free this Sunday? the shrine down the street is holding a festival. wanna come?  

A wide smile spreads over his face. He's more than happy to come he writes back, his smile spreading even wider when only a few moments later you text him place and time.

“Ojiro what are you looking at?“ Gao peers over his shoulder and Aran quickly puts his phone away.

“Nothin'“

“Nothing, ey? Does the nothing have a name?“

Aran rolls his eyes and heads for the showers, ignoring the teasing laughter of his teammates. Honestly, he's too excited to see you to care.

Aran glances on his phone to check the time. Five more minutes and he'll be only ten minutes early. He kicks the small stone form the pavement onto the road. Then he straightens his shirt. Maybe this colour wasn't the right choice after all, maybe you would've liked the red one better. Once in passing Akagi said red looked good on him. He sends you a short message, letting you know he's already here.

Minutes later he catches the sight of your figure manoeuvring between visitors flocking towards the many stands. “Sorry, I got worried all the best mochi'd sell out,“ you apologise, pointing to plate full of different kinds of mochi in your hand. “Samu isn't here yet?“

“No.“ His heart clenches. He didn't even think about the possibility of you inviting anyone else. “He's probably just late,“ he quickly adds, “let me call him.“

“Always late,“ you complain, “tell him I got his mochi but if he doesn't appear soon I'll just eat them myself. Want one?“

He declines the sweet and you shrug. While he waits for Osamu to pick up he avoids looking at you. The call goes unanswered. “I'll send him a message.“

“Tell him every minute he's late is a free onigiri,“ you mumble, your mouth full of delicious mochi. “And he's paying for drinks. I saw a stand with soya smoothies up the street. And a stand with takoyaki.“

“Have ya mapped out all the food stands?“ chuckles Aran.

“Well you know Samu, food is his best motivator. You sure you don't want one?“

He gives in and takes the matcha one. He watches with a fond smile as you stuff an entire mochi in your mouth.

“What?“ you mumble when you catch him staring.

“Ya look like a hamster.“

You roll your eyes in an effort to cover the smile creeping on your face. “Very funny. How's life?“

“It's fine,“ he nods, awkwardly.

“Good.“

“Yeah.“ He rubs his chin. The beard is getting a little long. He glances over at you. He should say something. But what? “I'm really sorry about what I said,“ he finally utters. “I do care. About you.“

“We all say things we don't mean, right?“ The soft look in your eyes makes his throat tighten. He hurt you and yet here you are. Reaching out, again. “It's all water under the bridge. Besides, I really missed hanging out with you. So, where do ya wanna go?“

“Shouldn't we wait for Osamu?“

“Nah. It's his fault for being late, he'll find us. And he better buy us those smoothies. Want one more mochi? You should really try the chocolate one, it's amazing.“

Never again. Aran doesn't want to see you hurt ever again.

The festival is crowded, which is to be expected in Tokyo, and he keeps an eye out for you. The last thing he wants is to lose you somewhere in the sea of people. He stays close, quietly delighting in seeing your excitement over different attractions of the festival. A few times your hand brushes against his, sending a shiver down his spine.

Osamu never shows up, messaging about an hour later he got stuck at work, promising you both as many onigiri as you'd like the next time you come around Onigiri Miya. “A shame. I was hoping to hang out with him while he's still in Tokyo.“

“He'll have time in the future,“ says Aran, doing his best to ignore the pang of jealousy in his chest.

“Probably. But will there be fresh soya smoothie for him to treat me to?“

Aran buys you the smoothie you so crave, grinning upon seeing your excitement. You walk around the festival grounds and from time to time he steals sips of your smoothie. You pout and nag he should buy one for himself but don't stop him. 

As night falls you search for a good place to watch the fireworks from. Just after they start Aran puts his hand on the small of your back to gently push you forward so you'd see better. But you don't budge and he bumps into you, his chest to your back. The sounds of festival fade, as if the crowd disappeared and all that remains is you, looking at him, fireworks reflecting in your eyes. The softness of your gaze causes his heart to do somersaults. You snicker and flick his nose.

Tease, he thinks and tickles you. He wishes he could properly put his arms around you and rest his head on your shoulder. He wishes he was here as more than just your friend. He wishes he alone would be enough of a reason for you to always have the same soft look in your eyes.

But if Kita, the perfect Kita Shinsuke, Kita who knew you better than anyone wasn't enough, how could he be?

His hand lingers on your arm for a heartbeat longer. He could try, he could always love you with all he has and hope you'd love him back, hope he could be enough. But if he failed... he'd only hurt you more, wouldn't he? And you've been hurt enough.

During lunch break his phone rings and his hearts jumps, hoping it's you. But instead Osamu's name is written over the screen. A bit disappointed Aran picks up.

“Aran-kun whatcha doin' this Saturday?“ Not even a'hello'. So many years and still so rude.

“Practice till afternoon, then watchin' a movie.“

“Amazin'! Want some company?“

A boys' night out? Why not? It would be nice to spend some time with someone who wasn't his teammate. “'Course.“

Osamu laughs. “Knew ya would. I happen to know someone interested in a blind date. I'll tell her to meet ya at the cinema.“

“What? Osamu I'm not really one for blind dates-“

“The ex of a friend. She's Kita-san' ex, isn't she?“ Aran's silence is an answer enough. “Ya asked me for advice. This is it, go out, try meetin' someone else. Whatever you want to have with her it won't end well.“

Aran knows. He knows all that. He knows you returning his feelings would be the worst case scenario. Sooner or later he'd have to tell Kita. “I know,“ he says. “I know that.“

Osamu doesn't answer immediately, waiting if Aran will add anything else. “Just go on this one date, see how it goes.“

“I'll think about it.“

He does think about it. The entire day in fact. Meeting someone new would be nice and who knows, she might be the one he's waiting for. A part of him, the guilty part that's been way too loud in the past weeks, stays firmly against the idea. Searching for the right one when you're right here. What if this blind date is just a crazy fan who somehow found her way to meeting him? And what about you, it asks? It would be cruel wouldn't it, leading you on while going on dates behind your back.

But he isn't leading you on, Aran argues with the voice inside his head, you're just a friend anyway. He cares about you yes, but only as a really good friend. Osamu is right, you should never be more than that. You're Kita's ex. And you don't date your friend's ex. So why break his heart further?

           (17.48) I'll go on the date. send me time and place.

That's the thing about making plans, the moment you make them something else comes up. Just the following day his phone rings, making his heart flutter when he sees your name.

“Hey.“ Your voice alone makes him smile. “I, uhm, I have a request.“

No beating around the bush. It makes Aran wonder if you've been hanging with Osamu so much you picked up his habits. “Oh, do ya?“

“Yeah. It’s is a bit awkward... Listen, I have a very important exam next week but my roommate's gonna have her boyfriend over for the entire weekend. Let's just say earplugs aren't helping and leave it at that, yeah? So, could I maybe crash at your place till then? I just need a quiet place to study. I can sleep on the couch! Or the floor, I really don't care!“

“'Course ya can,“ says Aran without hesitation.

This is how we finds himself sitting with a bunch of your notes in his lap, you leaning on his back explaining one of the questions. There are at least 4 empty mugs on the desk of his living room. He hopes you've left some coffee for breakfast.

He's amazed by how naturally you fit into his life. Almost like the space beside his shoes in the closet was meant for yours and the jacket hanging beside his was always meant to be there. You've even found your favourite mug already. The bedroll on the floor of the living room is the only reminder you're only crashing at his place for a couple of days. If you asked he'd let you stay longer.

The next morning you wake up the same time as him, sipping your first cup of coffee for the day, half asleep and draped in the hoodie he strategically left on the counter last night. You don't even raise a brow when he takes your phone and asks you to unlock it. “I'll send ya a playlist. Just some classical music. It's good for studyin'.“

“Sure,“ you answer in a groggy voice. “Have fun bouncing the ball around,“ you wave him off when he gets ready to leave.

Your sleepy face makes him smile for the rest of the day. Practice runs longer than usual and he returns late, stepping over two stairs at the time. The lights are still on when he enters but there's no answer when he calls out. He finds you behind the desk, so absorbed in your notes you don't notice his approach. When he places his hands on your shoulders you jump and shriek. “Aran!“ You remove your headphones. “Do you want to give me a heart attack?!“ He laughs and you smack his leg before he sits on the floor beside you.

“Is the material so interestin'?“ He looks over your many notes and pushes an empty mug to the edge of the table.

“I was listening to music,“ you rub your eyes. He notices they look a bit reddish. He takes your phone and clicks the play button and music continues. It only takes him a moment to recognise the piece.

“Dmitri Shostakovich, Waltz number 2. My mom's favourite. Used to dance to it with dad every Thursday.“

“That's sweet.“

He stands up and offers you his hand. “Come, ya need a break.“

You take his hand without question, only raising your brow when he places his left hand on your back. “Ya have to put your hand on my shoulder,“ he grins to your more than apparent confusion.

“Oh, right,“ you mumble. “I can't really dance you know. Not waltz at least.“

He gently holds your right hand in his and gives you a reassuring squeeze. “Don't worry, I'll teach ya. I start with my right foot forward, ya step back with yer left, yep, just like that, then my left foot forward,“ you jump in surprise when he turns you around, “and the first turn, now yer right foot forward, then left, and turn. See, it ain't hard.“

“Easy for you to say,“ you disagree, your eyes fixed on his feet and your mind preoccupied with trying not to step on his toes.

“Just follow my lead,“ grins Aran, gently pulling you a little closer.

He counts the steps and beats in his head and step after another you relax and follow his lead. All those Thursdays when dad wasn't home and mom pulled him into taking his place are finally paying off.

“I didn't know you could dance so well.“

Aran laughs at your words and gently pushes you into a twirl under his arm. “I guess there's a lot ya don't know,“ he says when he pulls you closer again. 

You follow his steps and soon begin catch on the slightest of his moves. Music changes but you don't let go so you dance on through his living room, off beat and saying quiet 'Sorry's,' every time you step on his toes. The way your brows furrow when you mess up is adorable but Aran doesn't give you the time to ponder over the mistake, pulling you into the next turn with ease and certainty of someone who has danced these steps countless times.

When the last song ends Aran leaves his hand on your back. You're so close, your hand in his. Looking and smiling at him. His eyes linger on your lips. It would take so little to close the space between you. So little that would change so much.

He pulls away.“ Do ya want tea?“

“Don't I always?“ you muse and head to put the water on, then open the cupboard but the last cups stand on the highest shelf and even on your tiptoes you can't reach them. Aran gently pushes you to the side and reaches for them. “Here.“

He pours himself a glass of water then pulls his phone out to check the time. Shit. The blind date. That's today! He glances over at you, making your tea, humming the melody of the last song you danced too. His heart drops.

What is he doing? He can't... This is getting out of control. He clenches the glass tighter. You're so close, he wouldn't even have to fully extend his arm to tap your shoulder. If, right here and now, he told you how he feels, how would you react? He lifts the glass to his lips. Probably not in the way he wants you to. A leap of faith, one that could take him anywhere. To the love of his life, he thinks watching you stir, or to the stone to shatter the friendship you both tried so hard to rebuild. A risk he doesn't have the courage to take.

The half empty glass he leaves in the sink draws your attention. You watch Aran head for the bedroom and you don't think much of it. It's his apartment, he can do what he wants. It's only when almost ten minutes pass that you decide to poke your head through the door to see what he's up to. The clothes he's wearing certainly aren't what one would wear for staying at home. “Going somewhere?“ you ask, curious as to why he's wearing a pretty alright polka dotted shirt.

“I have a date.“ He awkwardly fixes his collar. He doesn't want to meet your eyes.

There's a short silence before you answer. “A date? In this shirt?“

Your judgemental tone makes him turn. “What's wrong with this shirt?”

You scrunch up your nose. “It gives you that,“ you wiggle your fingers, “successful businessman in his forties looking for a wife vibes.“

“What's wrong with that?“

“What's wrong with-?! Aran! You're a professional athlete!“ You enter his bedroom and start looking through the closet. “Don't you get invited to fashion shows and stuff? One would expect you'd get some fashion sense purely through osmosis. Ouch!“ you yelp when he playfully smacks your shoulder. “Here, this one.“ You hand him a shirt of dark violet colour.

He takes it from your hands and inspects it. Then he hands it back. “I like this one better. And I'm runnin' late already anyway.“

You shrug and hang it back. “As you wish Mr. CEO. Wait, are you bringing your date back here?! Shit, I need to clean up my stuff.“

“Relax. I'm not bringin' anyone back. It's a blind date anyway. Ya keep studyin' alright? I'll be very disappointed if ya don't get the highest mark.“

“What do you mean a blind date? Damn, I didn't expect that from you player boy,“ you tease and it's a distraction enough for Aran to miss the forced smile.

“Osamu's idea.“

A small “Ah,“ is all you reply at first. “Get going then, being late is the worst you can be on the first date!“ You push him out of the room. “Have fun, don't say anything stupid, and don't only talk about volleyball.“

“It's not my first date y/n, gosh, stop bein' such a mom. Why are ya so excited anyway?“

“Probably too much caffeine.“

When he returns you're still up. You have two cups of tea ready before he even takes his shoes off.

“So, how was it?“ You push the cup across the table. “Come on, come on, no need to be shy,“ you grin, “tell me!“

Aran rolls his eyes at your sudden excitement. “It was nice, but nothin’ special,“ he tells you.

“Just nice?“ You tap your fingers on the table. Aran recognises the rhythm, it's one of your favourite songs. You sent it to him a few days ago. “Dating must be harder now that you're famous,“ you say, absent-mindedly. “Or is it easier?“

Before answering he takes a cracker from the bowl on the table. “Harder,“ is the answer he settles on. “Ya never know if they're attracted to ya or yer status. What about ya?“ He focuses on chewing crackers and taking small sips of tea, anything to keep from glancing at you.

“Ah you know,“ you sigh, “have enough other problems at the moment. College is messing with my head enough already. Why put another person in the mix?“ This time Aran doesn't miss how your voice trembles, and how you rub your forehead. Maybe you just have a light headache. You do look exhausted.

He changes the subject, feeling the talk of dating is quickly approaching dangerous territory. “How are ya feelin'? With studyin' and all?“

You lean on your hand. “Could be much worse. It's just a lot. Probably should have started with studying earlier.“

“But with work ya didn't even have enough time, right? Don't be too hard on yerself.“

“Actually, I quit. I thought it would help me focus on studying,“ you say upon seeing his questioning gaze.

“Ya know what will help ya study better? Some good night's sleep.“ He takes your empty cup. “I'll do the dishes, ya go ready for bed. No talkin' back,“ he points his finger to your face, “ my house, my rules. No stayin' up past midnight.“

“It's one in the morning.“

“Past time for ya to go to bed then young lady.“

After that you don't protest and before he even finishes doing the dishes you're snuggled on your bedroll and half asleep. Seeing you fills him with warmth. He could get used to this, coming home to you every night. He turns the lights off.

When he lays in his bed he wonders what's with the sinking feeling in his chest. There's anger. Why were you so excited for his date in the first place? Why did you look almost disappointed when he said it was nothing special? He hugs his pillow, thinking he'd much rather it was you in his arms. You must be soft. If only you'd be here, his nose filled with the scent of your shampoo. Teeth of shame sink in his heart. Why does he have to feel like this?

He wants you to be jealous. It's so damn childish, he knows that. It's something his teenager self felt when you hugged Kita after a game but only gave him a high five and a head pat.

How long is he going to keep lying to himself? He's in love with you. Not the you he remembers. You here and now. You sipping your fourth cup of coffee, you frantically flipping through notes wearing one of his old hoodies. That at least hasn't changed; you still steal any hoodie you can get your grabby little hands on. Not steal, he corrects himself, borrow. You borrow them. For an undetermined period of time.

He buries his face in the pillow. You're not the always cheerful manager he remembers anymore. But you are still you.

Tag list: @aonenthusiast @rosecaffelatte @kara-grayson04

[prettywordsyouleft]

All I Want For Christmas Is: Chocolate

Summary: all you wanted to do was sell your chocolates at the Christmas market. What you weren’t anticipating was finding someone as gorgeous as Jackson – or dealing his competitive nature over who made the best chocolates this Christmas.

Pairing: Jackson Wang x reader

Genre: enemies to lovers / Christmas au

Warnings: none

Word count: 2240

[All I Want For Christmas Is A Got7 Collab Masterlist]

“What can I offer you, ladies? A sweet, sugary delicacy? Or perhaps something more dark and sinful?”

Rolling your eyes as you watched the man across from your stall openly flirt with a group of women, you attempted to keep your reaction to just that. It was the time of year for festive joy and not for murderous contempt.

And yet that’s all you could manage when it came to Jackson Wang.

When you had been setting up your handmade chocolate stall on the first day of The White Miracle Market, you had been excited to finally get your sweet treats circulating further than your friends and family. It had taken some encouragement to even rent a space at the market this year, and some of your decision had been made because you knew a couple of your friends would be there as well. Still, it was a big deal for you since you had never put yourself out there before.

“Oh hey, chocolates, huh?”

Glancing up from the banner you were working on tying to the stand, you stared at the smiling man before you, silently thanking Santa for giving you your Christmas present early. He was gorgeous, and with the way his hair was brushed away from his face, the warmth of his eyes and the pearly smile he still shined at you, it was amazing you didn’t just get lost staring at his face. You had the foolish audacity to scale the rest of his form, deciding when you were done he was nothing more than a God.

No human had ever looked this good to you before.

Noticing the way he arched an eyebrow at your obvious examination and pursed his lips together, you blinked, rapidly instructing your brain to work.

To say anything.

“I love chocolate,” you breathed as you stared at his eyes, your brain catching up with what you had just uttered, sending a flash of colour across your cheeks. “I mean, making them. I love making chocolates.”

He grinned, folding his arms across his chest and you watched the action as if your entire life depended on it. “We have something in common then.”

“W-We do?”

How could you have anything in common with him? He was out here looking like he should be on the cover of every magazine in his cashmere turtleneck and you were certain you had cocoa powder somewhere in your hair from this morning’s mad dash to make several more batches of chocolates.

“Of course,” he replied with an amused chuckle, pointing to the stall right across from yours. “That’s me.”

Eyes now the size of saucers, you attempted to regain a sense of coherency. “Y-You make chocolates?”

“Not any kind of chocolates,” he oozed and you decided his tone was as sweet as the delicacies you were selling. “Mine are organic and made with fair-trade sourced ingredients.”

Oh.

Swallowing roughly, you attempted to smile. “Wow, that’s really neat.”

“I even have some for dairy-free customers. You never know when you’re going to strike someone with an allergy, right?”

Nodding numbly, you half turned, attempting to straighten out your banner that had fallen sideways when you had lost attention on it. The man moved to assist you, startling you somewhat. “You didn’t tell me your name. I’m Jackson. Jackson Wang.”

As you gave over your own name, you were trying to remain optimistic.

But the light was fading out.

You would spend the next month across from the most handsome man you had ever seen. And what was worse than having him so close to you every day was that he was your only competitor.

It surprised you how well your sales had gone on the opening day of the market. You had been hesitant as you continued setting up, taking glances over in Jackson’s direction now and then. Not only did his stall look professional compared to your more farm-style one, he just exuded an energy that made you feel feeble. Still, your chocolates had garnered a lot of interest and you were rushed off your feet trying to keep up.

“Wow, these are really creamy!”

“I can’t believe the quality of these chocolates. Do you have a website I could order some from in the future?”

“Are you sure these are homemade? They’re out of this world tasty!”

These comments had you rising to the challenge. You held your head high, smiling brightly over at Jackson whenever he caught your eye through the hoards of punters approaching your stall. It wasn’t meant to be a silent offering of battle, rather, you just felt you did indeed have more in common with him like he had mentioned.

You made chocolates and you were doing exceptionally well at selling them.

The next day, however, your success had clearly prompted Jackson to come up with a sales pitch. As people wandered down the small aisle of stalls, he angled himself to catch their attention, graciously calling them over to try real, authentic chocolate.

At first, it hadn’t bothered you but when he mentioned he was certain other people used lesser quality ingredients compared to him, whilst staring at you the entire time, well, it got to you a little. When business died down, you marched over the aisle to his stall, placing your hands on your hips. “Can we talk?”

“Do you want to try some, Y/N? I’ll give you a taste that will blow your mind.”

You were too worked up to fully be affected by the way his eyelashes fluttered or that he purposely leaned into you either. You dug your hands further into your sides, making no move to take his offering. “We can co-exist here, Jackson.”

“Of course we can, isn’t that what we are doing? You’re doing your little treats and I’m over here with my organic delicacies. There’s room for us both.”

“You’re acting as if my chocolates are worthless and I’ve heard you say more than once today that mine are poorly made. What the hell are you playing at?”

“I said nothing about you. I merely said other chocolates-”

“Whilst staring at me-”

“Just don’t have the same impact as mine does. That’s all,” he continued as if you hadn’t interrupted him, smiling smugly as he placed down his samples container. “I definitely didn’t mean any hard feelings about it. I’m just selling my products how I usually do.”

“Right, well please try to be more considerate. It’s the Christmas season and we’re all here for the same reason. I’m not going to stamp all over you so let’s share the space together.”

You turned to walk off when he scoffed, hearing the words he spoke under his breath before greeting new customers to his booth.

Like you could even match me.

As you returned to your own stand, you watched on as he worked on his selling pitch, his eyes casting over in your direction.

Instead of shrinking away you squared your jaw, shooting him back a challenging look.

If he wanted to make this personal, you would have no issues in proving just how well you matched up to him.

It was now war.

Over the following week, running your stall at the market had become exhausting. It wasn’t from all the chocolates you made each day to supply the demand for them or even the daily setup and closure of your booth.

It was from dealing with Jackson and his outlandish ways.

Your sales dipped when he started to offer a new caramel flavour to his menu, and when you came up with the idea of bulk bins, you definitely stole the show. Sure, you had people who would buy from both stalls to keep everyone happy, but on a whole, it was a race to see who could get a potential buyer to come over first.

You drew the line at openly flirting to make a sale though.

“Don’t you want to try a line or two on me?” a bored sounding tone wondered and you looked up at the man, noticing he was from the ticket booth. Your forehead creased as you tried to decipher his question. Jerking his head in the direction of Jackson leaning over his stall and talking up a set of women, you groaned, shaking your head.

“I don’t play that dirty,” you answered gruffly and he lazily grinned, picking up several bags of the chocolates.

“Oi, Jinyoung! What the hell?! Get over here!” Jackson called when he saw who was spending his time perusing your chocolates and you blinked slowly as Jinyoung, as you now knew him as, pushed some money into your hand.

He held up the treats. “Thanks for this. Not only will I have something to get me through the hell that is my shift, but I got to piss Jackson off too.”

“Uh, thanks for your purchase!” you called as he trudged off, leaving you wide-eyed and unprepared for Jackson’s approach.

“How many did he buy?”

“What?”

“Your chocolates! How many?”

“Six packs.”

“Six?! That cheap asshole told me he couldn’t even afford to buy two from me!”

“Well, your prices are higher than mine. You know, to cover all those harder to source, fair-trade and less of an unethical footprint on the Earth chocolates of yours.”

Jackson raked an unsteady hand through his hair. “I’m watching you.”

“For what?! This is ridiculous, don’t you think?” you finally announced, gesturing between you both. “We’re making fucking chocolates, Jackson. This isn’t some multi-corporate thing but just a side business for the holidays. I admire your pride in your creations, but we’re acting so pathetic fighting over who does better! I’m done caring anymore. As long as it stops you throwing yourself at women to catch their attention with your handsome face, it’ll make the rest of this market that much smoother to put up with if we stop competing over who is better!”

Jackson couldn’t help but smirk. “I’m handsome?”

“Is that all you got from what I just said?” you whined, shaking your head incredulously.

“Actually, I got a whole lot more from it.” His face now thoughtful, Jackson reached over and gently took a hold of your forearm.

You’d be lying if you said that, even if you had wanted to murder this asshole all week long, Jackson touching you didn’t make you shiver with delight. You were tingling all over when he smiled genuinely at you. “Tomorrow, can I come over to yours? I think I have a great idea.”

Despite being hesitant, Jackson coming over to your apartment to make chocolates had been the best decision you had made. You shared recipes and tricks you had each learned in the process of making chocolates. And you had found a way to come together, creating the best batches of chocolate you had ever tasted.

Of course, they were a hit at the market too.

“Weren’t you two opposite each other last time I was here?” a man asked as he took a sample, his face lighting up with the taste. “And these have improved!”

“We decided we had a lot more in common than we thought and combined our styles. Would you like to purchase any of our chocolates?” Jackson pitched and the man bought ten.

That day you made more sales than you had in an entire week. And you sold out before the market closed that the next day you tripled the amount you made together with Jackson.

As you packaged up the treats and handed them to Jackson to place into one of the storage bins, you smiled at him. “You know, we make a good team.”

“You’re only just realising this now?”

Rolling your eyes, you nudged him playfully as you handed him another package. “We should have joined forces earlier than fighting over who had the best chocolates.”

“I’m glad we took our time though,” Jackson replied and you frowned, glancing at him curiously. He grinned, nudging you back. “I can’t lie and say it wasn’t fun.”

“It was fun for you?!”

“Seeing you light up as you tried to out-pitch me was really attractive, Y/N. I sure got to see a whole different side to you that I wouldn’t, had we remained civil.”

“A-Attractive?”

“You don’t think it was just you checking someone out, right?” Jackson wondered with a laugh. “When I first saw you, I thought Santa had-”

“Given you an early present this year,” you finished off for him, and Jackson gaped at you. You giggled. “I guess we both had the same intentions from the beginning.”

“To make the best chocolates and be in the company of someone gorgeous?” Jackson offered as you blushed, handing him another package. He took your hand instead, smiling at you in a way that made you feel as if it was made just for you. All the air was knocked out of you, and you scolded yourself for still falling trap to his charms.

“I mean, making the best chocolates is a given, right?” you managed, attempting to restart your heart by looking away.

Jackson then popped a piece of chocolate into your mouth, surprising you as you felt it began to melt upon your tongue. He then swiftly leaned in to kiss you, this kiss sweeter than anything you had ever tasted before.

When he pulled back, he grinned. “You’re right; we really do make the best chocolates.”

_________________

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[dammitadolfnomorecake]

Once Bitten, Twice Stupid prt 94

94

Lance had fled. The cow crapped in his living room and that was that. He’d made it very clear Matt and Rieva were to scrub the floor clean or they wouldn’t be joining them all for dinner. Pidge and Hunk had a few things to finish up as it was, provided they’d get over the hilarity of Matt and Rieva gifting him a stolen cow. Naturally Hunk didn’t find the cow theft itself funny, only the absurdity and randomness of their now being a cow in the house... which was kind of funny, because no normal person would “relocate” a cow.

The rest of his presents had been marginally better. Rieva proved to be an okay gift giver if you didn’t think about the cow. She’d gifted him non-relocated plants, herbs for his garden and cat grass for Blue. Clearly her idea and not Matt’s who’d given him a “voucher” to join them in bed if his heats got too much. He’s tried to throw it out, but Matt rescued it for “safe keeping because you never knew”. Hunk normally gifted him garlic knots and cookies, a standard and tasty gift, that didn’t happen this year now that Hunk knew he was a vampire. His poor ray of sunshine gifting him a voucher to a department store in Platt, seeming guilty over not knowing what to give him. Lance didn’t mind. It was a practical gift, and lately Rieva and Matt had been wearing off on him. His bed turning into a mound of blankets and cushions, Rieva teasing him about nesting. He didn’t know what nesting was, only that he felt safe in his mounded up bed and seeing it was his house, he could do as he pleased. Pidge declared herself the best gift giver ever. He loved his gremlin, but could only groan at her present. She’d brought him a “vampire hunting kit” online. She was so proud of herself, thinking it hilarious. Lance did not. Trust pop culture to get a hunting kit wrong. There was some major eye rolling at the polished wooden stake in the box... God only knew what was in the enclosed vials that came with the kit, probably dye and water... though the crucifixes were pretty, so that was nice.

Lance didn’t think about the next predicament of what to do now that’d arrived in Platt so early. Dinner wouldn’t be until 6:30pm, so he’d head over to the nursing home around 5pm to spend some quality time with his Mami. It was a little after 11am now, meaning he couldn’t head to VOLTRON given they’d all be getting ready for the mission and he’d be underfoot. That didn’t stop him from parking in front of the bookshop out of habit. With three spare hours, he wanted to see Keith so badly it hurt. Pulling out his phone, he nearly screamed when someone tapped on his window, Krolia all smiles as if she hadn’t taken 10 years off his undead life.

Rolling the window down, Lance wasn’t sure what to say to her. All plans to get her and Keith on the same page hadn’t eventuated. His boyfriend struggling so hard with figuring out how to feel about his mother. It sucked. Lance wanted to take all that pain away, but the only one who could do that was Krolia herself

“Keith hasn’t come in yet, if you’re looking for him”

No. His boyfriend was probably still at his apartment but Lance didn’t want to park up out the front and make a scene

“I was going to give him a call... see if he wanted to get lunch or something before the mission”

“So he told you? Oh... that’s right, it’s your birthday today... Why don’t I take you to lunch, my treat”

Ummm... what?

“You don’t have to go out of your way...”

Lunch with Krolia didn’t seem safe... He didn’t want to step on Keith’s toes, or meet with Krolia behind his back

“Nonsense. It’s no trouble at all”

“I should let Keith know...”

“He’s the reason I thought we should talk. I don’t want to make things complicated between you... but he won’t listen to me. I just want to know how my son is doing”

Lance knew he was fucked. His fierce love for his Mami, and his family, made it impossible to say no. If he was estranged from his Mami, he could picture her asking his friends about him

“You know I can’t say no to that”

Krolia did. Her smile hadn’t wavered at all

“Excellent. I’ll let you choose the place, you know this city better than I do”

Please lord don’t let him be murdered for this... by Keith or Krolia... maybe Krolia... yeah, he’d rather be murdered than cause a misunderstanding between him and Keith. Fuck. His Mami always told him to be polite... and his Mami had hit it off with Krolia...

“Jump in. I think I know a place”

Lance was still quietly hoping for murder as he and Krolia sat inside the dimly lit pub. It was the same place they’d come as a group after the others had learned his secret. The pub itself wasn’t that poorly lit, but he’d tried to pick somewhere kind of unnoticeable from the door. Sitting on one side of the booth, Krolia slid herself in on the other side, picking up the menu

“You look tense. Don’t worry about Keith”

He was pretty sure worrying about Keith was now a default setting, right up there with over thinking

“How can I not? I feel wrong meeting with you when he’s still trying work out his feelings”

“You care about him a lot, don’t you?”

Lance supposed it wasn’t as obvious to Krolia... in fact, she probably thought it was weird

“Very much. That’s why... I don’t want to get between the two of you”

“Keith has made it clear that he doesn’t want to know me”

What kind of crap was that?! Keith was dying to connect with Krolia

“That’s not true”

“Let’s go ahead and order. Do you... eat?”

“I can and I do”

“Excellent. Now, what’s deep fried and covered in grease?”

Lance ordered a salad, with a nonexistent appetite, it was something he could pick at. Krolia ordering a steak burger so raw the meat reminded him of his new cow... that wasn’t his cow and he was in no way attached to. Her plate loaded with fries, and her drink of choice a chocolate milkshake. Not what he expected

“Do you want a fry? You’re staring”

He didn’t mean to stare. No one told him that his birthday was going to take this unexpected turn

“I’m fine, thanks...”

“Then loosen up. You might be a stiff but don’t tell me you have a stiff sense of humour?”

“My sense of humour is fine. I’m just not sure what I’m doing here”

“I want to get to know the man my son’s dating”

“If you want me to break up with Keith, that’s his choice to make”

Krolia dipped a fry in her milkshake, sending drops flying as she shook it

“Whoa. Hold up. Okay. No. Keith is well and truly able to make his own choices... I’m making a mess of this”

He couldn’t talk to Krolia like she was a regular person. The Blades were all weird. He needed to remember Keith’s initial social weirdness and work around it

“No... no. I’m being cranky. I feel like I’m breaking Keith’s trust and it’s not a great a feeling. Your son... he’s amazing. He really is. He’s so smart and funny. He’s complicated and awkward, but he’s so... You’re missing out. He wants to know you, but he’s scared of being alone. He gets scared when he feels out of control and lashes out. Thinking that it’s better to push everyone away before they get to see how much he’s hurting. He gets lonely really easily. And he’s so sweet. Even if our first date was a bit weird, he’s always trying his best”

Lance gushed. Word vomit came easy when he thought of all the ways that made his boyfriend made him happy. Keith wasn’t a perfect human, he had many flaws, like his failure to work without coffee, but Lance wasn’t perfect either. That was the thing about love though. They both knew they weren’t perfect but together they were muddling through it, while working on themselves as they did

“Do you want to see something?”

Lance had no idea where that question was going

“Okay?”

Pulling out her wallet, Krolia passed it over. Lance taking the silent hint to open it. Finding a well worn piece of paper in the back, his fingers shook as he pulled his out. A happy family staring back at him. Krolia, so in love with her partner, a mother’s smile on her lips at Keith, bundled in his father’s arms

“We don’t keep a lot of personal items being Blade members. The newer generation does, but we’re all prepared to die. Every mission I’ve been on, that photos waited for me to come home to. Giving them up broke my heart. It took everything I had not to go back. I really thought Keith would have a better life if I wasn’t there”

“Have you shown him this?”

“No. He wouldn’t listen if I tried”

“Then you need to keep trying”

“Maybe...”

Whatever Krolia was thinking was wrong

“My family isn’t happy. I know what it’s like to have distance and it fucking sucks. Keith... he always feels like no one sees him as anyone other than your son or Shiro’s little brother. He wants... he wants to be accepted how he is and who he is. Krolia, he’s such a good man. He really is. I always kept a distance. I never ever thought something like me could have the love of someone as amazing as him. He wants to know about you. About his dad. What you like. How you became a Blade member. He wants to be closer to you. I shouldn’t be saying any of this because I don’t want to be in the middle of it, but I will always, always be on his side. I can’t forgive you if you hurt him. I can’t. I can’t even cope with him liking me because he’s just... he’s just Keith and he’s amazing how he is”

“I don’t know how to tell him. He was so cute as a child. He had this purple hippopotamus that he’d carry everywhere. His father couldn’t send me updates on him, but... He was the sweetest little thing. He loved that hippo so much. He loved riding on his dads shoulders... he... he was so cheeky, so happy... he’d probably hate the memory if he knew that hippo came from me. You know, his dad named him. I wanted to call him Yorak, but he wouldn’t have it. And I wouldn’t have Keith any other way”

Keith wouldn’t hate the memory. Any memory Krolia could share with him was a memory Keith had lost along the way. Krolia really did love Keith

“I know it’s old and cliche, but if you can’t find the words write them down. And this photo, this photo would bring him so much comfort. He doesn’t talk about it, but I know he’s lost most of the memories of his dad”

Krolia went silent for a bit. Lance had really meddled too much. He’d said more than he wanted to, and this meeting really was hurting his heart because he felt so guilty that Keith didn’t know about it

“Maybe”

Her reply didn’t give him much

“Can I call Keith? I really don’t feel comfortable”

“Yeah. I only really wanted a chance to meet you alone to see what you thought of Keith and if you were serious with dating him. He’s precious to me. Leaving him has broken me like nothing else ever has. Anything else is a bonus. I’m glad my son has someone who sees him... even if you’re old enough to be his father”

“Don’t remind me. I have no idea what he sees in me”

He was dead. Old. Grumpy and didn’t like crowds... he didn’t have much to offer

“I think I have some idea”

Shiro answered Keith’s phone, explaining that Keith was busy. Quickly Lance unloaded on him that he was at lunch with Krolia and wanted Keith to know so there wouldn’t be a misunderstanding. Shiro sounded surprised, then understandably nervous about telling Keith.

Half an hour passed before Curtis, Shiro, and Keith arrived at the pub. Keith ready to explode into a fit of rage

“What the hell?!? What do you think you’re doing?!”

Lance flinched. Yep. This was why he was scared of...

“I’m sorry...”

Huffily, Keith crossed his arms. Lance unable to look at him. He’d known this was wrong. He felt physically sick...

“I wasn’t talking to you. I know this had to be mum’s idea”

Krolia defending him had Lance sliding down in his chair

“Don’t be mad at him. The whole time he was here he wanted to call you”

“Maybe he should have done that to begin with, or maybe you shouldn’t have kidnapped my fucking boyfriend”

“Babe...”

“No. I know you would have agreed because you’re too nice. I’ve been stressing all morning and now you’re having lunch with her”

Lance didn’t mean to turn on the waterworks. Keith was lashing out and every comment felt like a hit to the gut. All he’d really wanted was a nice simple day with Keith on his birthday

“Keith, I think that’s enough”

Placing his hand on Keith’s shoulder, Shiro seemed to know how Lance felt. He knew that Lance didn’t want to be here and how much it hurt to feel like he was betraying Keith

“I’m sorry... I know. I know. I didn’t want to be in the middle of you and your mum. I know I fucked up”

Sliding out the booth, Lance blindly pulled all the bills out his wallet, leaving them on the table before slipping past Keith. This was another bad birthday in a long line

“Lance”

Keith called his name softly, Lance looking at his boyfriend through a fresh wave of tears

“I’m sorry... I’m so sorry I hurt you”

Once again he was fleeing... with absolutely no place to go other than to his Mami because he’d really done it this time.

*

Keith knew he was acting out. He knew and the words still came out. What was his mother thinking taking Lance to lunch like this?!

“This is the part where you’re supposed to go after him. He only met with me because I wanted to talk about you, and get to know him better”

“You had no right”

Yeah. Keith knew this. Lance couldn’t say no because he had a stupidly big heart. That’s what made him such an idiot crumpet. His boyfriend was trying to let them work this out for himself but Keith couldn’t.

Pushing her empty plate towards Lance’s barely poked at salad, Krolia twisted to face him properly

“What am I supposed to do when you keep shutting me out? I want to be in your life. I want to learn about you from you. I thought maybe we could have a nice lunch and talk. That’s all. That man seriously loves you. He said repeatedly he didn’t want to meddle and you should have heard how he talked about you. You need to go after him and apologise”

Like his mother would be the first one he’d listen too about relationship advice. He already knew he had to apologise. He didn’t need her telling him

“What would you know?”

“Because I know how devastating it is to miss your opportunity!”

Keith didn’t know what to say to that. Shiro’s hand was digging into his shoulder now. They all had regrets. Things said and left unsaid... He shouldn’t have blown up at Lance. He knew he shouldn’t have. Triply so on his boyfriend’s birthday

“I don’t know where he could have gone”

“He was parked in front of VOLTRON when I ran into him”

Keith shook his head at his mother

“Lance knows we have a mission today and wouldn’t want to be in the way”

“Where else would he go?”

“I talked to Pidge before and he wouldn’t be going back to Platt. Rieva and Matt stole a cow and Lance wasn’t happy at all over it”

So his boyfriend was already having a bad birthday before Keith made it worse

“Perhaps he went to Miriam? If he knew he couldn’t see Allura or Coran at the moment?”

Curtis was a genius. Lance had to be headed to see his Mami

“Shiro, I need your keys”

“I don’t know if I should let you drive...”

“Give me your keys or your collectables get tossed”

Shiro’s eyes went wide as he pulled away

“You wouldn’t. Not my limited collectables...”

Fuck the stupid things. He had to apologise for being a douche canoe

“I would for Lance. I need to... I need to see him”

Shiro pulled his keys out, passing them over

“Don’t forget you need to be at VOLTRON at one”

“I’ll be there”

As Shiro passed his keys over, his mother cheered him on

“Go get your man!”

*

Keith felt awkward about visiting the nursing home without Lance beside him. The staff kind of recognising that he’d been there, so all it took was a quick explanation before he was signed in and shown through to the garden area where Lance was cuddles up with his mother. This felt like a terrible idea on his behalf. Lance probably never wanted to talk to him again. He was so fucking good at ruining things. Stuffing his hands in his pockets, Keith slowly walked over to the pair. Miriam holding Lance as Lance cried softly against her shoulder. Shit. What if Miriam hated him for making Lance cry? He hated him for making his boyfriend cry.

“Mijo, you have a visitor”

Miriam offered him something that wasn’t a smile, nor was it a frown. All Keith could describe it as was a “mum look”. Yeah. He’d fucked up, and she knew that he knew, and he knew she knew and now he was expected to do something about it

“Babe...”

Lance clung to his mother. Miriam sighing at him

“Mijo, you can’t ignore Keith”

“He wants to break up because I hurt him”

Miriam glanced at him around Lance

“That’s the clearest he’s been since he showed up. Would you like to explain what happened?”

Keith sighed. He really wanted to sit on the other side of Lance and cuddle him until he calmed down

“My psychotic mother kidnapped him for lunch and he was too nice to say no”

“Lunch sounds like a lovely idea”

Was Miriam messing with him, or did she think he and Krolia were suddenly going to besties

“It would be if it wasn’t my mother’s attempt at meddling”

Miriam smile fondly, moving her hand to pat the spot behind Lance

“It’s a mother’s job to meddle within reason...”

That was Miriam meddling. Sitting on the edge of the bench, Keith’s stomach was a pit of nerves as he rested his forehead against Lance’s shoulder, hand moving to rest just past Lance’s elbow

“I deserved to be punched in the dick”

Lance sniffled loudly, hiccuping as he wrestled his tears under control

“I don’t want to be in the middle. I want you two to work it out together. I know it was wrong... but she wanted to know if you’re okay... and I got to see a photo of your dad... she really fucking loves you and I don’t want to pressure you... and I don’t want you to keep fighting. I want you to be happy. Stupid Matt and Stupid Rieva stole a cow. Pidge dressed as a vampire. Hunk didn’t give me food because he thinks I don’t like eating normal food. You’ve got a mission. Our whole night was changed. And you were so mad at me”

That was a lot of “ands”. Lance didn’t seem to be having a good day at all, or everything he’d been trying to laugh off he couldn’t cope with now Keith had messed up. He was mad. Mad. Scared. Confused. Hurt. Betrayed. And a dozen different words that made his heart race at the sight of them together at the pub

“I was... am... I just don’t see why you’d go out to lunch with her, or why you didn’t tell me sooner. You can’t let her bully you”

Smooth. Real. Fucking. Smooth. Maybe he could go on his mission and just not return? Perhaps the ground would swallow him whole so stopped being such a dick?

Lance placed his hand over Keith’s, still talking at mami’s chest rather than Keith

“But she’s your mum. I... I want to know more about you and her. I’m 19 years older than you. I’m not cool, or hip, or rad, or whatever the word is these days... I know you hate having to talk everything out... and I know you both are awkward as hell... but you’re hurting and I hate it”

“That’s not your pain, babe”

“It is because it’s yours. I want to be the one you lean on, not the one you feel you have to keep secrets from. I know it’s hard for you, and I felt so rotten that I couldn’t tell you before we talked”

“I’m the one who overreacted. I know you’ve got a good heart and I shouldn’t have snapped. It really hurt seeing you able to talk with her”

“I could barely say anything right. Please don’t be mad. I told her if she can’t find the right words to say to write them down. It doesn’t make up for her leaving, and what she says isn’t my business. I’m not trying to force you to talk her. You’ve got to move at your own pace and be ready when you do”

Keith knew that. He knew Lance respected him enough to handle this on his own and that his boyfriend only wanted what was best for him. It was a little early, but he really wanted some time with Lance before the mission

“Mami, do you mind if I borrow Lance?”

“Heaven’s no. You two make up properly or neither of you get dessert tonight. I must say I’m looking forward to dinner”

“I hope you don’t mind. When I organised it, it was supposed to be just the three of us”

“Lance isn’t very good at handling his birthday... or his friends. Don’t worry about me, as long as you two work this out”

“We will. I’m sorry I upset him”

“Couples fight. Making up is the fun bit”

Lance snorted wetly, Keith didn’t know what kind of face to make when Mami was hinting at sex so openly

“Mami!”

“Go have a good time with your boyfriend. I’m very proud of you, Mijo. Happy birthday, my precious little boy”

“Mami, I’m 45”

“And you’ll always be my precious little boy. Go on. I’m sure you’ll have a wonderful time with Keith”

Lance seemed lost as they walked back to where they’d parked, Keith finding a spot across from Lance. Almost shyly he asked

“What do you want to do?”

His boyfriend was too cute

“I’ve got the hotel key... I know it’s early, but I’ve still got time before the mission. It’s your birthday, and I really want to spend some time with you”

“You haven’t even said it”

“That’s because I’m waiting until we’re at the hotel. You want to lead and I’ll follow? You’re probably better at finding this place again...”

A smile finally crept across Lance’s lips

“You do have a habit of getting lost”

“Directionally misplaced. Get your phone out and I’ll send you the address”

“Sounds good... babe... I really am sorry”

Keith couldn’t not hold his boyfriend. Wrapping his arms around Lance, he melted into the hold

“I’m sorry too. There’s no excuse for how I acted”

“I get it... I’ll see you soon?”

“Yeah, babe”

[missyslittlepet]

((Requested - It's readers birthday and Heartman surprises them with vines.

It's not very long but I really hope this is kinda what you were after????? Enjoy!!! 👍🏻💙))

Happy Birthday Raven! I Can't Swim.

"What do you fancy for breakfast?" You asked Heartman as you walked to the kitchen.

"Now that you've gained some strength back after your surgery you can have whatever you want. My treat."

You were so happy that he finally got a heart transplant meaning he didn't have to stick to his twenty one minute cycle anymore. You had been together for about a year when he agreed to it having fully moved on from the search for his family.

"Can I get a waffle?" He asked with a grin. He had been on strick healthy foods to help with the recovery so he was ready to get his teeth into something tasty.

"CAN I PLEASE GET A WAFFLE?!" Your brain had the words out before you even thought about it. The reaction was so natural considering how long it had been since you had watched that video.

Heartman jumped at your sudden outburst making his glasses go askew. You laughed again at his reaction, he was so cute sometimes.

"(F/n), you can't go making me jump, I still don't know just how much this new heart can take." Heartman joked.

"I know," You laughed. "I'm sorry Heartman. It was instinct, honestly. I used to love vines."

"Vines?" Heartman asked carefully adjusting his glasses before looking over them at you.

"Yeah, Vine." You grinned excitedly.

Heartman squinted in confusion and you felt your smile drop.

"Oh come on! Please tell me you know what vines are!"

"I can't say that I do (f/n), sorry. What are Vines?"

"Oh my God, how did you miss out on vines?! They were short videos on the internet before the Death Stranding. Just a few seconds long but they were so hilarious! Me and my friends used to communicate solely in vine references, it was great!"

Heartman smiled at your enthusiasm despite not having the faintest idea what you were talking about. He could tell that these 'Vines' meant a great deal to you.

"Ah well," You sighed fondly at the memory. "I'll get you those waffles!"

You beamed at him before returning to your task.

He watched from his chair as you pottered around the kitchen making him his food. The smell floated through the air and made his mouth water. He adored you and appreciated all that you had done for him over the past few years. You were his rock when he lost him family and when the Death Stranding finally ended he realised that you had become his world. You were always helping him in some way. Whether that be through his mourning or getting him waffles.

Heartman knew your birthday was tomorrow and he was yet to find a gift for you. Despite knowing you so well he still struggled with finding gifts for you. He had been searching for a way to show you how much you meant to him but nothing was as heartfelt as you deserved. He had considered proposing to you but he didn't want to be cliche and wanted to make it really special.

However, now that he had found out about your love of 'Vines' he thankfully had a few ideas. He decided he would wait until you went to your meeting with Die-hardman before getting started since he knew you would be trapped there for hours.

Heartman had missed his research and now he had something new to get his teeth into. Due to Sam successfully connecting the Chiral Network it meant that he now had access to archives from before the Death Stranding. He quickly typed in 'Vines' into the database and thousands of folders popped up. At first all he could find was information on plant samples but he was determined to find what he was looking for.

After an hour and a half of searching he finally found a folder containing videos and social media posts. From what you had described he thought he was in the right place. He browsed the video titles and found one called 'Iconic Vines That Cured My Depression And Watered My Houseplants' and decided it was a great place to start. He opened up the video and watched intently not sure what to expect.

"Two bros chilling in a hot tub. Five feet apart cuz they're not gay!" The video was of two men and lasted only a few seconds.

"What on earth?" Heartman said pushing his glasses up his nose. He leant in closer to the screen.

"Every time you yell at your kids put a quarter in your no yelling sock and pretty soon you'll have a weapon to bea-"

Heartman couldn't help chuckle at that one. The more he watched the more confused he became in the most wonderful way. The humor was ridiculous but he loved it and found himself laughing along with them. Before he knew it he had binged several compilation videos and had a whole set of notes to create some birthday surprises.

Your cuff flashed as you sat in yet another meeting signaling you had received a message. You were thankful that this was the last meeting of the week. They were getting more and more frequent as they were discussing plans for repairs to old delivery equipment. Of course this meeting just so happened to be on your birthday. Lucky you right?

You hadn't gotten the chance to speak to Heartman before you left. He still slept a lot despite his recovery almost being over meaning he was still fast asleep when you were getting ready. He looked so peaceful and you kissed his forehead and snuck out the door, careful not to wake him.

After half an hour more of listening to renovation plans the meeting finally came to an end allowing you to check your mail. You felt a smile tugging at your lips when you saw Heartman's name pop up. You always loved seeing what he wrote to you.

"Good afternoon love, I'm sorry I wasn't awake to see you off. I hope you're having a great birthday and I can't wait for you to come back home to me. Missing you always,

- H x "

You grinned at your cuff before making your way back home. You knew the drive would take forever.

Heartman stood back to admire his creations. Truth be told he was really proud of himself. He never considered himself good at gift giving but this time he was excited. He couldn't wait to see the look on your face when you saw what he had been planning. With a grin Heartman placed the last tray down on the table and waited for you to arrive home.

When the door finally slid open Heartman jumped up and ran towards it to greet you.

"Happy birthday (f/n)!" He said as he wrapped his arms around you tightly and gave you a kiss.

"Close your eyes." He said before you could come any further into the house.

You looked at him suspiciously before doing so anyways. Heartman took your hands in his and began leading you through the house and into the living room area.

"Okay (f/n), you can open them!" He said awaiting your reaction eagerly.

Slowly you opened your eyes and were met with trays of food on the table.

"Welcome to Chilies! I hope you're hungry!" Heartman's grin grew wider.

"What is all this?" You laughed looking at the strange choices of food.

"Could I interest you in some Freeshavoca-do?" Heartman asked pointing to some guacamole in a bowl.

You felt your smile widen.

"Or perhaps some hurricane tortillas?" Heartman could tell that his references were being recognised.

You were beaming at this point. You couldn't believe what he had done for you. Now all the foods made a little more sense to you.

Heartman gestured at a plate of chicken strips.

"Fuck ya chicken strips!" You both shouted in unison. Heartman's new heart melted at how happy you were.

"Oh Heartman!" You pulled him into a hug. "Thank you so much, this is the best present ever!"

He wrapped his arms around you and kissed your forehead.

"This is actually your present." He said taking a step towards the table and picking up the gift box from it. He handed it to you and waited.

You bit your bottom lip as you took the lid off. When your eyes fell upon the wrapped object you started to laugh knowing full well what was under the paper. You quickly ripped it open and put on your best child's voice.

"An avocado... thanks!" You giggled and placed the box back on the table.

"Actually," Heartman laughed. "This is your real present." He pulled a small box from his pocket and handed it to you.

You took the second box and opened it still laughing from the avocado. Inside was a USB stick. You looked up at him and raised your eyebrow.

"It contains thousands of vines so you will never have to miss them again!" Heartman looked so proud of himself. "Happy birthday (f/n)."

You brushed your finger over the USB stick and felt tears come to your eyes. To anyone else they were just stupid videos but they held so many memories for you. They transported you back to before everything went to shit, made you relive moments with those you had lost a long time ago. No one had ever given you a gift that thoughtful before.

"Heartman... I... Thank you so much. You have no idea how much this means to me... How much you mean to me..." You smiled blinking away your tears. "I love you so much."

"And I love you too (f/n)." Heartman rested his palm against your cheek and you nuzzled into it. "We could make a night out of this and play them on the big screen if you'd like? I've grown quite fond of them."

"I'd love to!"

You quickly ran to set it all up while Heartman shut out the day light and set the lighting to pink and blue.

The whole night was amazing. You both cuddled up and feasted on the vine related food while laughing like a pair of hyenas. You were over the moon that he seemed to enjoy vine humor just as much as you did. When it started getting late and you started yawning Heartman stood and switched the screen off.

"Come on, you look tired." He smiled warmly, hold out his hand to you.

You took his outstretched hand gratefully with another yawn. You went to start grabbing the plates but he stopped you quickly.

"Don't you worry about those love, I'll tidy this up. It is your birthday after all." Heartman smiled grabbing the plates from the table. He hummed to himself as he made his way to the kitchen area.

"This bitch is indeed empty. Yeet." Heartman chuckled loudly throwing the plates in the dishwasher.

You shook your head and laughed at the butchered attempt of a vine quote and wondered how you ever got so lucky. This truly was the best birthday you could have ever asked for. Vines, food and Heartman. What's not to love?

[lilacsolanum]

am I correct that you once mentioned being able to talk forever about the breakdown of Animorphs team dynamics at the end of the war? please... if so... i'd love to hear your thoughts...

YES, YOU ARE VERY CORRECT. HERE WE GO.

Cassie and Ax are the only ones whose books straight up lay down the law on this. The Sacrifice has Ax straight up talking shit about, like, everyone but Marco. Marco he’s cool with, because Marco’s clear headed and not worried about getting his hands dirty. Marco’s like “Man, drop a nuclear bomb if you GOTTA, like I don’t LOVE the idea but what’s an intergalactic war without a ‘lil nuke here and there? Makes it EXCITING.” But he starts getting disenfranchised with Jake - “I wished now not for Jake, but for an Andalite commander. An experienced soldier. Someone who better understood when to fight and when to watch.” He is OVER how Rachel is terrifyingly violent and should have been removed from fighting a while ago (the scene where Ax chooses to forgive and free a Yeerk-moprhed-bird who is just trying to become a nothlit — only for Rachel to thoughtlessly murder the Yeerk on a rampage — is one of the most chilling moments in Animorphs. I gasped and had the set the book down when I first read it, and I first read it as an adult.) While He even straight up calls Tobias out on getting trapped in morph on purpose - “He stayed in red-tailed hawk morph for longer than two hours. I suspect he did it on purpose.  It was his way of escaping the complexities of human life. Although he exchanged them for a new set of complexities.” When he finds out Cassie gave away the morphing technology, he says “I could not stop looking at Cassie. I was not exactly sure what I was feeling. But I was sure it was very close to hatred.” Later he says “Perhaps the real menace lay at the other end of the continuum - represented by Cassie. Humans who were softer. Kinder. Well-meaning. And, ironically, infinitely more dangerous.” He eventually does forgive Cassie and start to understand her choice, but it takes him a MOMENT. Ax is TIRED in this book. The Sacrifice is just Ax talking shit about everyone, it’s amazing. “My hatred for Cassie began to extend to them all. They were fools. They would never prevail. They were too soft. Too sentimental. Too childish. Too stupid and ignorant.” - Aximili in The Sacrifice, pouring out some tea.

Ax ends up in this really sad place at the end of the war where he’s resigned to dying on Earth, to dying with his human friends, and he sees honor in that but he does not want it. Ax is easily the least developed characters in the series, especially once he’s given to the ghostwriters. He’s either The Funny Alien Bro or he’s the writer’s voice of political commentary. VERY RARELY is he treated with respect. Because of this inconsistency, it’s hard to say what Ax does immediately after the war. Does he just peace out to Andalite immediately? Does he take time to decide what he truly wants? Does he decide he truly wants to stay on Earth with humans but goes back to Andalite out of duty? Does he reach out to Tobias? Does he quietly accept Tobias’s decision to isolate himself and feel secretly relieved that he no longer has to care for this neurotic bird? Does he feel guilty about being secretly relieved? Does he not care he’s relieved? There are a ton of ways to interpret Ax and view his post war decisions. The only thing we know from The Sacrifice is that he’s pretty fucking DONE.

-

Cassie talks a ton of shit, too. (”The truth was, and it hurt me to admit it, Jake just wasn’t Jake anymore.” - The Ultimate. “Rachel’s voice, on the other hand, was firm and unhesitating. “I don’t know about you guys, but I’m thinking it’s time to explode a big ‘ole bomb.” “And you couldn’t be happier,” Cassie said bitterly to Rachel. “Could you?”” - The Sacrifice.) Cassie always has sweetly-snide things to say about everyone in her narration (homegurl is always like “Marco is funny, but only to cover up his own fear.” “Yeah Tobias DEFINITELY trapped himself in morph.” “Rachel is a mess.” Cassie is a southern church lady and a master at shade and I love her.)

Cassie and Ax are basically just. Done with everyone. Cassie has already realized all her friends are way too war-touched to ever be healthy, and knows, on some level, that she’ll retain enough stability be able to elevate herself past the PTSD. In her last book, she makes this sad, desperate last chance grab at retaining what was left of Jake’s humanity. After that, we don’t see many people really connecting with Cassie and honestly, it’s not because she gave away the morphing cube. It’s because the Animorphs agree to blow up the Yeerk pool. I think that is a defining point for Cassie, the equivalent of Jake losing his parents. Her fate is sealed when she is forced to participate in destroying the Pool. She doesn’t like herself and she doesn’t like these people. She completely gives up on Jake and knows they have no future, which you see plainly in her reaction to Jake’s proposal (I don’t know what I expected her answer to be, but I didn’t expect her to start crying. And not tears of joy, either. “I would like that … eventually,” she said. “ But. But what?” She sighed. “But, Jake, what are you going to be? What are you going to do?” “Guess I thought I’d go to college,” I said. “And study what, Jake? Me, I’ll go to college, I’ll become a doctor. never forget what’s happened, I’ll never even try, but I’ll be able to slip back into a normal life. But you, Jake?” ) She is straight up aggressive toward Rachel in The Ultimate (”“Why do you have to be so horrible?” Cassie exploded. “You are, you know. And you get worse every day. Your own mother can’t even stand you.””) Cassie is maybe not consciously aware that she is the only one who will truly survive the war, but she knows SOMETHING, and she starts to distances herself and gives up on her friends at the end of the war. It’s another one of Cassie’s bright clear lines.

-

Marco doesn’t really comment on things falling apart, but I also don’t think Marco approaches exactly HOW falling apart things have become in the same honest way Cassie and Ax do. Listen: homeboy has abandoment issues. Which I guess is extrapolation, as I can’t really think of any example where he’s directly like “Everyone Leaves Me Eventually Fuck ‘Em And Their Little Dog Too”, but the text DOES tell us 1. Marco’s mom died when he was 11, which is a very big thing to happen to a very tiny child; 2. His dad mentally checked out immediately after and 3. After the war, Marco awkwardly tries to keep the band together. He admits to spying on Jake in his free time in The Beginning, AND I MEAN. “Marco lived half a mile from me, in a house about seven times bigger than mine. We’d started hanging out again. And after awhile he’d given up arranging dates for me with whatever starlet happened to be willing.” (Jake, The Beginning). Some of that is Jake giving back to Marco, but one can ONLY ASSUME from Marco’s weird spying that Marco pulled every drop of Jake’s friendship out by sheer force of will. He also apparently invites Cassie AND HER BOYFRIEND to his Hollywood parties (I spoke to Cassie every couple of months. She was seeing some guy … actually, a good guy. I had met him at one of Marco’s parties.) and is in general all up in her shit. He does this crazy detailed run down of every step Cassie has made post-war in Chapter 10 of The Beginning. Like bro why do you even know Wal-mart tried to get Cassie to sign a deal with them? Because you’re not as cool as you think, and you miss the fuck out of the Animorphs. His defining character trait is also “Cares about no one unless he adopts you as as family, in which case he will walk right into hell and personally bitch slap satan to ensure your safety.” I honestly don’t think it OCCURS to him that they won’t all be friends after the war. He comments a bit on people falling apart, but I swear he thinks they’re all going to fall apart together. Marco is arguably in a better position when the war ends than when it started. He brings his mother back from the dead, his dad is functioning, he is rich and famous, everything is great (save for the inevitable trauma of his parents and the existence of Nora and the fact he deliberately put her in harm and all the other terrible realizations we’ve all had about that family). But I can’t help but feel that his abandonment issues are part of what lead him to The Rachel. He sacrifices a pretty bomb life to go on a suicide mission without question, because Marco doesn’t have much family, and he adopted the Animorphs as a family, and now the only way to get that family back for even a moment is to go on The Rachel.

Basically, at the end of the war, Marco is something close to happy and hopeful. The last book he narrates is a fucking romp with tanks and ducks and bondage jokes (”” ICONIC). He’s focused on his parents, and he’s not really seeing the looming aftermath of war.

-

Tobias is sort of in the same situation. He’s dealing with a lot. He’s got a Loren now, and he’s awkwardly morphing human for her. He has been disenfranchised with Jake ever since Jake manipulated him into volunteering himself for torture. He’s kicking it with Marco and Ax and they have this sort of unofficial club going on, but he never mentions particularly connecting with Marco on the same level he does Rachel or Ax or even Cassie. Which, don’t get me wrong, I am 100% a huge believer in Team Finesse as disgruntled roommates who care for each other deep down, but it’s ultimately not enough of a connection to keep him around after Rachel’s death. That’s the thing with Tobias. He was always sort of detached from everyone but Rachel and Ax, and Ax was somewhat circumstantial. We all love the shorms, shorms are real, but there’s definitely a reading where the two of them bonded because they had to. I also definitely think Tobias never truly believed in Ax’s love for him. That’s the thing with Tobias, he can joke and he can bond and he has a nice time with the other Animorphs but he doesn’t believe in a universe where they hang out without the Yeerks, ya feel? He can go on a tank joy ride with Marco, but underneath it he’s thinking “This hilarious class clown wouldn’t give me the time of day if it wasn’t for Elfangor.” He can listen to Ax call him shorm, but ultimately he’s going to feel “Ax is only here because he has no other option, we wouldn’t be friends otherwise.” That’s why as soon as Rachel dies, Tobias is out. When Cassie says, “He doesn’t hate you, Jake. He never did. His heart was broken, that’s all. And you know, Tobias never had anyone. No one before Rachel. No mother, really, no father he could ever know. Rachel was the first and only person who ever loved Tobias.” (The Beginning), I think she’s speaking from Tobias’s POV, because she knows of all people that Tobias was loved and loved fiercely by many. It’s just that when Rachel said it, he actually believed her. (This is a line I’ve been sitting on for a minute and will use in a fic, so anyone who reads it again later, act surprised okay?)

-

And Jake and Rachel have isolating incidents that are pretty clear on the page. Rachel’s descent into extreme violence addiction isn’t super well done, but these ARE children’s books. As dark as these books are, there’s something so incredibly disturbing about watching a child find joy in a shower of blood that it’s not really well touched upon. All we know is that she’s out of control, to the point where when confronted by an armed but currently peaceful group of soldiers, she ignores orders from Ax and attempts to ram through the human shield by physically stomping on her mother’s foot and forcing the gas pedal. No one wants to hang out with Rachel by this point, not even her family, not even Cassie. Well, we can assume Tobias is still kicking it with her, but we never get a scene of them together which is a SHAME. And Jake is, you know. I’ve rambled enough, but anyone who has read the series knows that Jake withdraws from his friends when he loses his parents in The Diversion. Marco and Tobias are too preoccupied to help, Cassie tries to the point where she hands their only leverage over to the enemy but eventually gives up on EVERYONE, and Ax is too exhausted to care. I don’t think it would have mattered much if Jake had gotten a ton of support though. He’d given up by then.

ANYWAY you asked for my feelings on the kids drifting away from each other and I gave you 2K because I am extra.

[italicwatches]

I Couldn’t Become a Hero, So I Reluctantly Decided to Get a Job - Episode 09

So last time we had actual plot stuff. Which s concerning. But for right now let’s just go in. It’s I Couldn’t Become a Hero, So I Reluctantly Decided to Get a Job, episode 09! Here we GO!

-The store…Payday! And not just normal payday, but Seara got to authorize a bonus for everyone for keeping the store afloat against Amada! And Fino is just staring at her first proper pay envelope, and YEAH! Her first human wages…She’s…She’s so damn excited…! And Raul gives her a simple piece of advice. Make sure you spend some of it on something memorable. Something you can look to and remember this day. You’ll be glad you did.

-Opening!

-Episode 09: How the Demon Lord’s Daughter Spent Her First Paycheck

-Dinner! A big group dinner for the whole gang, and Seara’s paying. She always treats the crew on payday. And Fino can’t resist going for the kid’s variety meal with free toy. That is very, very Fino. She’s a delight.

-Anyways the food arrives and Fino realizes it’s not just one toy you can get…There are 180 possible toys. And now she has one. Out of 180. …SHE MUST GET THE REMAINING 179. Or you could just, not, do that. And so Raul ends up volunteered to go take Fino shopping for all the necessities she needs…Oh, and this whole time, the mysterious man from before was listening.

-Cut to the apartments and trying to pick through catalogs and form a plan…And Fino is being very unintentionally sexy and Raul is breaking. Alas, poor Raul. Also the first thing Fino wants is a way to deal with cockroaches. They’re the WORST, far more devilish than anything in the demon wood GOD THERE’S ONE NOW! It was just a cicada. And as it escapes, Fino realizes she ended up clinging to Raul at some point and this just got weird. …Deep breaths, you two. Focus.

-New day! Out in town! And they run into Elza and Lam-chan. And it totally looks like a date, much to everyone’s amusement. Also, their plan is the 100 gold shop to start with the bare basics. Good plan. Fino will conquer the world of shopping!

-Hard cut to Fino looking like a nervous wreck at the thought of being a customer for the first time. Poor thing. And she ends up with a member card for the dollar store and shit this kid is so damn excited. It’s adorable. And she’s just all giddy at the idea of this cycle she’s entered. She helps people find the magic items they want. For her work, she gets paid, and some of that money comes from the hard-earned currency their customers spent. She takes that pay, and uses it to buy the things she needs and wants…Some of which very well may have been made by her customers. And some of it, by people who she’s never even met, but still made this useful or fun or tasty thing that’s now hers. It’s just…Amazing, the way humans work together so eagerly and freely, you know?

-…Damn, Fino is a bright spot in a dark world.

-And Raul’s spent a lot of time since Fino entered his life, figuring himself out…But having been raised in human society, the very idea of this broad-scale cooperation is…I mean, he’d never even considered it that way before. And when you stack it up like that…He thought his life had no purpose, that his job was pointless if he wasn’t being a hero, slaying and capturing monsters to help stop the Demon Lord…But in the end, it’s all part of making the world a little better, isn’t it?

-We will be pointedly ignoring how this sentiment doesn’t hold so well in our world due to the near-total prominence of companies doing some pretty evil shit with their wealth, because dammit, I want to hold onto Fino’s enthusiasm and optimism just a little.

-And thus it becomes a day of more shopping! And to really feed all of that enthusiasm, Raul takes Fino to the open-air market…Where she nearly runs right out into the street when she takes a wrong turn and Raul has to save her. You two are lucky that wasn’t an isekai truck! You could have both ended up…in…a fantasy world…running on video game logic���

-…Oh.

-Right.

-…Carry on, then.

-Also Fino’s suddenly feeling Things around Raul and doesn’t know what to do with those. It really doesn’t help when a jewelry vendor really pushes some lovey-dovey stuff for the young man and his girlfriend. And is Fino going to figure out what that means yet? Nope, because Raul is too busy getting all nervous…

-And then geeking out over a fuckin’ gorgeous sword being sold by a vendor. Man, he loved to admire the earlier models back in school, and this is even better! And this is a quality vintage one that they’re selling for only 100,000, when they used to go for two million! Also Fino has wandered off back to that jewelry vendor. Oh man, it’s so tempting to splurge on the sword…Fino, what do you think? …Fino? Where did she…

-She got lost and gets yanked into a doorway. Oh no!

-Raul goes hunting and seeking…And ends up running right into Fino! In a pretty dress? It seems a shopkeep was just very aggressive in getting her into something cute and Raul’s brain just cracks at seeing her all dressed up.

-And she finds herself super wanting to know what he thinks about the outfit and being super excited at the thought that he likes them…And Raul has that “Was my friend always this cute?” moment. And a polaroid photographer even snaps a photo of the happy couple…

-And then it comes out that Fino basically spent her whole paycheck on mostly useful nicknacks. And now she has no food money. …Shit. The market is a terrifying force!

-And that stall is making crepessssss. …Fine, you get a crepe. Eat up, Fino. And of course she’s all super excited and it’s soooo good and just kiss already you two goofballs. And then, she has him close his eyes…! Wait, is she going to…?

-No, she just got him a little gift, a thing to remember this day, and thank him for always being there for her. And now they’re both all blushy and what did she get him? A cellphone charm! Made with the hair of a hero who nearly slew the demon lord, but was struck down! Of course. That’s Fino.

-Eventually they’re headed back home, when Raul stops to get a drink…Only for Fino to scream?! She manages to force them to back off by the time he gets to her, but…

-Oh.

-Fuck.

-The forces, human and demon alike, that want her to take the throne and restart the war. It was a pair of out-of-work heroes. That want her to throw the world back into chaos, so they have a purpose again…

-…FUCK.

-Credits.

Well…That’s not what I expected. And yet, it makes all too much sense.

Capitalism makes villains of us all.

[sparkleyunicornllama-blog]

Good Morning 💜

*real talk alert*

Last night was horrible for me. I was really unwell. I was in severe pain with my stomache and felt extremely sick. I was very dizzy and really lethargic at work yesterday too. It was 20°c (to british people thats like lets get naked hot) I wore layers of clothes and a big coat and shivered all day with my hands turning blue. My muscles hurt and are just cramping up with almost every movement. And no surprises but the bruises up the backs of my legs have gotten worse.

So this morning my mum had a good chat with me. She told me how ill I have started to look and that she knows I am struggling, but today as traumatic as it will be for me As I struggle through my relapse and these intense negative thoughts I have to refuel. I have to rest. In my previous relapses this has worked and its been able to break through my behaviours until my eating becomes something that resembles “normal” I have never been in any kind of formal treatment despite being hospitalised briefly a year ago when my organs were failing. So all I have ever done is focus on changing eating patterns and never actually fixing anything that goes on inside my head.

I have to try and avoid my anorexic behaviours even if I just get through today and I struggle on and I cant keep up with this. It is something to keep me going until I do start outpatient treatment next week.

I really wish things were different amd I could love normally and it would be amazing. But my whole world has begun to revolve around being skinny. Again. For a while I convinced myself that the excessive exercise I was doing was healthy. That only having certain foods was just healthy. Until this past week I was was eating relatively nothing apart from the 5 safe foods I had left. Just bland. Low calorie low fat with hardely protein. A couple of weeks back I started to loose progress at the gym. What I could lift easily dropped by 30kilo to something I struggled to get even through 1 set. And I still I continued. I only ate using a specific tiny spoon. I would only eat of a bowl that fit in my hand or a child sized plate. I told my self it was just something I liked to do. Because eating disorders, are deceitful and manipulative. For me its control, fear, guilt and anxiety and the need to feel some sense of achievement. Every person is different and everyones eating disorder is fuelled by different things as well as manifesting in different ways.

Its doesn’t fit a generic stereotype, and so there isn’t a single treatment plan that works for everyone.

I hear it all the time.. people trying to educate me on whats healthy and whats not on intakes and metabolism and whats good for you. Why treats are ok. I don’t want to be rude but honestly I know pretty much all of it. Through the almost 7 years now I have struggled with eating disorders and tried to recover on my own I have spent days educating my self on nutrition amd exercise. Vitamins and minerals. Macros and gains. Muscle building and shredding. I mean a few weeks ago I started to realise I was struggling and I had an appointment with a GP, I explained everything that was going through my head for him to say… “oh just eat 3 meals a day” … 🤔 but… what… would you tell a schitzophrenic to stop hearing voices? But according to my eating eating disorder non of that infomation is correct. Irrational right? I know my self as well as all of the scientists and people who develop and work with all these different programs know that it is true.

I know the effects it is having on my body and I know my nails are brittle and my hair is falling out. And I know it will only get worse. But for some of us, it is isn’t enough to give us the encouragement that we need to recover.

I dont want to loose my job, I honestly love it as challanging and demanding asnit is. The people I care for inspire me to keep going. Their happiness gives me happiness.

Theres things I do want to achieve in life, i want to own my home, excel in my job, travel to Japan and the world I want to get back into drawing and go to conventions.

As well as all of that I want to enjoy the little things again, Trying something that looks tasty just because, going for trips or to meals with my family amd friends. Getting a take away on my way home from work just because I fancied it. Go to a food festival actually eat the Japanese snacks I buy from conventions. Experiment with recipies. Bake with my mum and cook for my grandparents. Have a movie night with snacks or pop corn at the cinema. Eat drunk pizza toast after a night out. Just drink a cup of english breakfast tea. Maybe even be super British and dunk a biscuit in there. I want to run and enjoy it like I used to. Be proud of my gains or just accept my self. To look in the mirror without tearing my self apart. I want energy and the ability to conventrate.

We need time to process things. To overcome what it is that triggered things. How to deal with things we can’t fix. But most importantly. We need that time to love ourselves and accept ourselves. Because what size you are or your weight does not define you. At all. I don’t judge other people on those things. It doesnt change their kindness or their talents or their sense of humour or who loves them.

Eating is good for you. Exercise is good for you. But when it starts to consume your every thought or it starts to isolate you from your friends and it makes you ashamed or feel guilty. It is a problem, and you always deserve help no matter what your weight what you eat. If you feel you need to reach out you do it.

Moderation is a wonderful thing. You should enjoy the foods you love while they give you the energy to do the things your passionate about. To experience your life in the possitive way possible.

I actually started this blog as a way to keep my self motivated and focused on the possitive things. I don’t want to sit here and pretend my life is great. Because theres to much of that bullshit on social media. This is all so negative.

I’M SORRY!

Today! Bed rest for me! On my mums orders this wonderful food. I adored giant crumpets and its been years.. with salted butter of course. And a bowl of alra skyr high protein yogurt passion fruit flavour, maxi shredded wheat granola, urban fruit coconut chips, mango, apple, pomegranate and some strawbs.

Pretty much all fear foods at the minute. Terrifying, delicious but nutritious foods. In a normal adult sized bowl. The horror. But fuck eating disorders and their negativity I will enjoy day of gaming and watching films and hopefully sketching and napping. While my body does some repairing.

Body shops vanilla chai body lotion and the delicious vanilla almond Forest friends candle. The little things 👌

All of you fighting. All of you who have won. And all of you struggling. Your amazing, beautiful and deserve happiness.

You always deserve to recover in your own way at your own pace.

Stay strong and stay safe.

💜💚

I just needed to say somethings. If you read this far . Sorry I bored you to death and thank you!

[thejojosanctuary]

[slides into your ask box like it's first base] Kakyoin, Josuke and Okuyasu celebrating bc their gf is doing much better with her tests than anyone expected??

aaah no problemo ;) i hope you enjoy itç

-cotton

kakyoin:.kakyoin would be the proudest boyfriends ever, when she first showed him how much better she did then expected he would ruffle her hair and tell her how proud he is of her, followed by a big tight hug and a kiss on the cheek. Just to show how much more proud he is he’d prepare a delicious romantic meal for the two of you.

.He would treat his girlfriend to a nice coffee date, he would take her to the nicest cafe he knows with the most delicious pastries. He’d pay for everything like the good boy he is, you want another slice of cake? Go ahead you deserve it, you want another cup of coffee, why the hell not you deserve it! Kak is such a proud boyfriend he just spoils you rotten.

.The date would not be the only thing, The boy still has some tricks up his sleeves. After the coffee date he would take her to a big beautiful park for another romantic picnic date. He knows how to spoil her as he (by  he, he means the gang had to set everything up while he was having his date.) had already set up everything. A blanket laid on the ground, while rose petals scattered around it. Dimly lit candles lit up the romantic dinner as the two of them would take a seat on the blanket to enjoy a glass of red wine.

.At home kakyoin took a step back from all the romantic date ideas and took it a step back, keeping it a bit simple. The two of them would just sit back and watch a movie together, in his opinion the best kind of date, just cuddling on the couch. Ones in a while he would plant a kiss on her forehead, reminding them ones again how proud he is of her, and how happy he is to have such an amazing girlfriend.

. After such a tiresome day his girlfriend would’ve fallen asleep on his shoulder halfway trough the movie. He’d give her a heartwarming smile as he slowly picks up her sleeping form and bringing her to their shared bed. As he laid her down he couldn’t help himself and smile. Before leaving her to rest he’d plant one last kiss on her forehead, whispering a ‘goodnight love’ before shutting the door for his lover to sleep.  

okuyasu:

.Okuyasu would be so excited, he would immediately pull her into a hug and cover her face in kisses, he would jump in joy as his girlfriend just smiled like an idiot.  When the excitement died down okuyasu asked if he could take a look at the test, just to see how good they had done. It may even influence him to study harder for said class. If his girl was able to do it, so can he!

. First of all, he’s a real cuddle bug so most of the celebrating the two of them would just be laying around, lazily cuddling on the couch, sneaking in a kiss or two. Ordering a pizza or two, stuff their faces with it. The most romantic thing about that day would be the candle in the far off corner. But really dates to him is just being with his s/o.

.Now for the real celebration! He’d invite his bestest friends for a little house party, he would try to find out who her friends were just to make her even happier.  He’d order her favorite flavor of cake along with her favorite snacks. He would even take the time to decorate his broken down house just to make it feel a little bit more cozy. All he wants it for his little girlfriend to feel like she has done a good job!.    

. The party wouldn’t be anything special, and nothing too hectic. Just a few close friends and maybe family members coming together to celebrate. Most of the things done at the party is probably all of them playing board games. Maybe a round of twister to get that real house party feel going, Needles to say it would end with a few people needing to go to the hospital but who cares!

.oku would totally feed her cake (fuck me up with that shit)

.After the party is done the two of them were left to clean up the mess the guest had made. Tho okuyasu didn’t mind it as much, his girlfriend was happy and that was all that mattered to him. Afterwards the lovebirds would take a seat on the couch sharing the last piece of cake that remained. Cuddling up next to each other as his wonderful girlfriend slowly laid her head on his shoulder. His smile grew wide just seeing her slowly dozing of into a deep sleep. It must have been a good day.

josuke;

.He would be the least over excited of the three, don’t get me wrong he’s still proud but he wouldn’t jump in joy. He’d probably give a proud pat on the back, tell them she did good and a big kiss on the cheek. He’s also a bit embarrassed since his grades are way worse then hers, he’d also consider studying more just to not feel this embarrassed again. (tomoko would totally nag about it too, how he should take example to his girlfriend and study more)

. Josuke tries to be romantic, tries. He was running a bit low on money so he couldn’t go anywhere fancy, so he got the great idea to keep it simple and cook for him and his lover! He’d ask around simple but yet tasty dishes, most of them seemed possible to make. He proceeded to buy all the ingredients, invited his girlfriend over for the night and set up the table with some candles and flowers.

.Now for actually preparing the food. His mom was out of the picture because he made sure that she would be away for the night, so no help from mom. Why did he want to cook again? He hasn’t even cooked an egg in his life. His girlfriend was waiting at the table, hungry as hell; needless to say the date was not going well. He was ready to give up hope and just order a pizza with the little money he had left, but lucky for him his girlfriend came to aid.

. Instead of preparing everything himself, his girlfriend helped out a bit. Josuke’s eyes lit up as she picked up the knife and started cutting the vegetables. She took a look at the dishes josuke was planning to prepare and give him a little smile. Luckily for him his lover had more experience with cooking, and so thed young boy got a little more confidence. She told him what to do and he did as he was told, learning bits and bits about how cooking worked. It didn’t take long for the main dish to finish cooking and it was finally time to eat. They gave each other a long and nervous look before taking a bite and melting at the amazing taste of the food they had just prepared. It was totally worth all the effort and time.

. As the couple finished their meal josuke couldn’t stop and smile at himself, to be frank he was proud of himself and his girlfriend for preparing such an amazing meal. He cleaned up the table and proceeded to turn on his game console. The lovebirds took a seat in front of the TV and started their little game. Playfully  insults and frustrating groans became all the more familiar as the both of them grew more and more tired. Josuke would decide it was time to go to bed, his girlfriend nodding in agreement. They both laid down in bed, legs tangled, his girlfriend laying on his chest. A faint ‘thank you’ was mumbled as she fell asleep, leaving josuke even prouder of his girlfriend.

[paene-umbra]

For the botanical ask: ALL OF THEM. Bc your answers are always so well thought out and amazing.

That is such a nice thing for you to say! I'm sorry it has taken me forever to answer this, I know you asked this about a month ago. I have been crazy busy and working on this for a while but I never had the time to post it. This is a really long post, so please bear with me. So sorry,baby’s breath (5 things you associate yourself with): snoballs, comfy socks, smiles, humming, and cuddles!bleeding heart (what makes you heart go mushy)?: honestly the thing that melts my heart is super small but okay here we go. what melts my heart is when me and my boyfriend are sitting in his room doing separate things and he randomly gets up and lays on me and rests his head on my chest for a couple minutes and then goes back to doing his work because he wants physical contact. also it melts my heart when he makes me pinky promise to do or not do something or to promise that I’m being truthful. it is so cute.bell flower: what’s the title of the song that makes you want to jump around out of joy?: Maps // The Front Bottoms. it is just such a fun and goofy song.evening primrose: what’s your sleeping playlist (give me 5 songs)?: my sleeping playlist is actually the Piano Sleep Playlist from Spotify. i don’t really check the song titles.forget-me-not: who is your favorite blog who isn’t following you?: my favorite blog who isn’t following me is definitely glumshoe! I love their wide-ranging content!daffodil: what is one plant that you want to have but can never get?: I want a WHOLE lilac bush! I am really bad at keeping plants alive (I accidentally killed so many cacti during KAMS). my roommate and I have four plants currently. two cacti and two succulents. we have them named, and they’re all silly names because we wanted to be as WHITE MOM as possible. they’re names are Ghurt, Ellha, Wrandall, and Hadley. I think it is hilarious for them to have names like that until I have to tell other people what they are named, and then it is kinda embarrassing.calla lily: are you more of a sunny day or a rainy evening? I think I prefer rainy evenings. sunny days are usually wildly hot and I really hate being hot and sweaty. rainy evenings are nice because they can be any temperature and I will still probably be comfy. I don’t like actually being in the rain because I think it feels gross to be only partially wet. I’m an “all or none” type of person when in comes to getting water on my body.foxglove: what is your favorite color and in what shade?: I really like purple a lot, which is convenient because that it what color my sorority uses. the best shade in purple is a tie between lavender and lilac.lavender: what is something that you’ve always wanted to be/have/get but can never have?: I guess I have always wanted to be given jewelry or something to wear from a significant other. Ideally it would be some necklace with their name on it or something that reminds them of me/me of them. Maybe I will get it somedaylove in a mist: what is the latest dream that you remember? the latest dream that I remember was from a while ago but it was about the horror movie IT FOLLOWS which is about a sexually transmitted demon that slowly follows you and is trying to kill you. It can’t run or do anything fast, but it is super persistent and patient and all it does is follow you to get close enough to kill you. anyway it really freaked me out and now I dream about it and always check over my shoulder to make sure that it isn’t there behind me even though I know it isn’t real.daisy: what is your favorite flavor of cotton candy, ice cream, and juice? I don’t have a favorite flavor of cotton candy because I think they all taste the same, but I prefer to have the blue or the purple cotton candy because I think it is prettier than any of the other colors. the best ice cream flavor is definitely cookies & cream. the best juice flavor is white grape juice!!painter’s palette: are you more of a singer, dancer, painter, or instrumentalist? I am more of a singer/painter. I love singing AND painting a lot.tulip: what is your most favorite make-up product? do you like it more natural, dark, or etc? my most favorite makeup product is my eyeliner. I like my eyeliner to be black and sharp as hell. a second close favorite is my wunderbrow, which is a long-lasting brow cream. it is really nice. I like my brows to be pretty dark but not black.waxflower: are you a bee or a butterfly person? a dog or a cat person? dang this is a hard question set. I really like bees because they’re so cute and bumble-y and fuzzy and so so so good for the environment. I even have a whole tattoo planned out for when I have money saved up that is centered around the seven bee families. I am 100% a cat person. cats all the way. fuzzy sweet babies that need as much love and attention as I do. (love for fuzzy things seems to be a theme with me I guess) sugarbush: do you have sweet tooth? if yes, what’s your favorite sweets? if no, why? yeah I do have a sweet tooth. the convenient thing about that is that my sweet tooth only lasts a couple minutes at a time so I don’t have to eat an excessive amount of sweets to satisfy it. my favorite sweet is probably a snoball, since it is the thing that I consume the most regularly that has the sweetest taste and most calories. for those of you who don’t know, a snoball is a basically an ICEE but so much better.sunflower: would you like to be a fairy or a mermaid?: oh heck….mermaid would be fun because I love swimming so much but also there are so many scary things in the deep water…so I would have to pick a fairy because that would probably give me the best of both words minus the scary monsters. at least in the air, I know I only have to hide from the hawks and eagles and shit.sweet pea: what would you like to call your significant other?: honey/love/sweetheart. he gets nervous about pet names though, so we usually just stick to “babe/baby”sea lavender: can you swim? which strokes can you do?: I sure can swim! I can do all the strokes pretty well. except butterfly. I’m kinda terrible at the butterfly.windflower: list 5 of your favorite blogs and explain why you like them: oh boy I don’t know. reverseracism, keybladeofsteel, bassiter, gendrie, and subtle. I just like 'em, and I think I reblog most of my stuff from them. i like to have content that is more than just memes, and they contribute a lot to that.golden rod: are you more of a baker or a cook? cook. I cannot bake to save my life, unfortunately. especially not pastries. I am a pretty decent cook when it comes to microwaves and stovetops and stuff, though. bloom: what is something that you would like to tell your children?: that their bodies belong to them and they never have to let anyone touch them if they don’t want to be touched. bodily autonomy is something I wish I could’ve known I was allowed to have. I was always taught that I have to let people hug and touch me even if I don’t want it because if I tell them not to touch me then it might get awkward, and apparently avoiding awkwardness is more important than my own comfort.peony: what is something that you wish your parents could’ve told you? that I was pretty. I know it isn’t something that matters in the grand scheme of things, but they told my sisters that they were beautiful and I never got to hear it.prairie gentian: do you have a significant other? yes : ) we have been dating for about 8 months. and I love him.september flower: are you more of a sunshine or sunset person?: sunset! sunsets are so beautiful and I prefer the nighttime to the day anyway. im more active and awake later in the day.bird of paradise: do you wake up early? do you sleep early?: unfortunately I wake up at 7:30am every day for work. I hate it so much, I am so fricken tired. I go to sleep at probably between 1am and 3am when I sleep in my dorm with my roommate but when I sleep over at my boyfriend’s house I go to sleep before midnight because he gets sleepy and I don’t want to keep him up. it is really helpful for making me feel more rested so I really like it.marigold: what’s your favorite tea?: I don’t really drink tea on its own, but I really like the Mango Black Tea Lemonade from starbucks. I got that all the time when they had it during the summer. its pretty tasty.peruvian lily: what are the names of your pets?: I have two cats named Josie and Jewels and a crowntail betta named Mahoney. me and my roommate share another crowntail betta named Nemo (because his tail fin is fucked up. I think it was almost completely ripped off or he chewed it off out of stress, but we aren’t sure. we had to rescue him from Walmart because he was floating on the bottom of his dinky little cup and he barely had any energy. thankfully, he started eating almost immediately when we brought him home and he’s swimming around a lot better.). my roommate has her own betta named Bartholomew, and we are also trying to adopt a fourth betta, as well. so we will have Bart, Mahoney, Nemo, and whatever the fourth fish is named. we are trying to adopt the fourth betta from a woman who doesn’t treat the betta very well and wants to get rid of it anyway.hyacinth: do you name your plants?: yup. the older cactus is Ghurt, the younger is Ellha. The older succulent is Hadley and the younger one is Wrandall. lmao. me and my roommate intentionally picked goofy names for them because it makes us laugh and happy.lilac: would you rather sleep and be cozy or hang out with your friends?: hang out with my friends, definitely. my friends are great and I love spending time with them. unless I am getting to be cozy with my boyfriend, in which case I would pick him alwayspoppy: do you like to dip your fries or do you like it as is?: DIP DIP DIP ALWAYS DIP. French fries are so dry on their own. I will dip them in literally anything; ranch dressing, ketchup, mayonnaise, garlic butter, barbeque sauce, etc... my favorite is probably ranch dressing at the moment. it alternates depending on how many times I’ve eaten fries during a specific period of time.dandelion: any special talent that you have?: uhhhhhh no probably not. I don’t really have anything that I am talented at.