#I live to give people little thingys like bracelets and little things like that

[theworstcreature]

Friends with benefits (I make things and tasty treats and give them to you)

[bisonaari]

Käärijä Summer Camp report

I don't really come here anymore and I don't think I'll be back anytime soon, but I still wanted to make a post about this! It's probably gonna be pretty long hahaha

Last time I travelled with my husband, but this time with the amount of things to do and people to meet, he preferred staying at home and took care of our little balcony garden <3 Thanks to him we now have a full ass jungle on our balcony lol

My flights were really uneventful. My first flight to europe was so empty that I had a full row to myself so I could have some good sleep time (albeit a bit uncomfy lol, plane seats are so hard), but that was it.

When I got to Helsinki, I was welcomed by a bunch of GOOFS omg

@mitamicah @j-restlessgeek @teal-skull @katinkulta @clovermoonspell and her friend from Norway were all there, Micah and Susanna arriving a bit earlier than me. We all went to the place I was going to share with Missy, Susanna and @kaarijalist for the next two days.

Those people. Are the best. I fucking love them so much you have no idea. Everyone I'll tag in this post is an absolute cutie that I love but I'LL SAY IT EVERYTIME Skull gave me my birthday present in advance and I just BWAAAAAHH that was so sweet ;A; It was a Jukka autograph that they got for me back in Böle (now framed in my living room ehehehe) and a custom bracelet for me, inspired by my kääryle tattoo ;A; I loved it so ridiculously much it was ADORABLE

I learnt later that day that I wouldn't be able to meet @likearainbowinthedark until much later in my trip and it was a bit sad, I really missed them ;A; Friendship at first sight during february, and now I have to wait MORE to see their face again??? UNFAIR!! And also I had made little crochet frogs for them and their wife ohoho I couldn't wait to give them to their new owners <3

We also met with @formulalakana and @carpblu at a cafe during the afternoon! I was a bit burnt out by the whole you know… flying 12 hours thingie, so I ended up going back to our place but it was still lovely meeting with them they are amazing people!!

The day after that was the actual Summer Camp meet up day!! We all met at the mural together with many people already tagged here, but also @jaarijani @smimon @icbimakb and @tuherrus !! I can't believe that we just started to talk on tumblr and we were all there???? In person??? In front of that stupid Käärijä mural, exchanging bracelets and laughing together? That was just amazing

After a group picture, it was raining too much to have a proper picnic, so we went to the Tikkurila library to actually have some time to hangout and share snacks and gifts from our countries, and draw on each other's clothes and notebooks hahaha. A really, really lovely time with everyone, I'm so happy it went so well. On one side of the room was the Summer Camp flag that Skull had made, and to me it was perfect.

I also was sitting next to icbimakb and I had some time to nerd out to them because they're my fav artist of all time and they let me look at their sketchbook and it was an honor and I don't think that my eyes will ever recover from looking at so much beautiful art. @shirtlessradfahrer arrived at about that time as well.

A bit later we were joined by @follivora @wednesdayday @king-krisu and @khihi !! They didn't stay long but it was fun to finally meet after seeing them on tumblr for such a long time !! Some of us went to queuing, the rest of us stayed to clean up and we went to the venue a bit later <3

The Backas gig was one of the greatest moments of my life. Seriously. Everything went SO WELL??? Missy, Susanna and I headed out to the vip area for the pre show meal, and the food was amazing seriously. I wish I could have eaten about 3000 more of those fucking potatoes they were INCREDIBLE. We were looking at people running for barricade with tenderness hahaha, like "Look at our children <3 So much energy". Then suddenly, Missy spotted him. The Häärijä. Chatting to people next to the merch booth. She had to stop eating immediately because she had gifts to give him, and there might not be any other occasion to do so. I also handed her the fanzines because I'm a bit too shy and I don't have anything to say to Häärijä hahaha.

Part of my Backas report in a previous post ! I'll just focus on the untold parts here

At the venue it was time to meet @hyviihommi and @omppupiiras and also @blatantlyhidden and @because-its-eurovision !!! And wait also @tmrwds and @taidotonheiluja and some more people that I don't know the url of but I know are fellow tumblr users!!

I can't say how much I loved this gig. Hugo was really great, he looks so much like jere when he was younger hahaha. Käärijä was in SUCH a great mood, he was smiling so much and having the time of his life being on stage that day I don't think I'll ever recover. It felt so good being there and having an artist in front of us who was having a blast. I was dancing with Skull and Missy (my immediate neighbours hahaha), looking at Micah and Carpblu having a blast in front of us, enjoying the music that I had been listening for more than a year now with other people who also loved the same music. It was such an experience I will never forget this. We also got Paidaton riehuja!! I did remove my shirt hahaha. If I wasn't wearing a mesh shirt and a bra I would have gone full tits out hahaha, but it was too much of a hassle. But it was SO FUN being able to take part in this!!!

I don't usually listen to It's Crazy It's Party, but live?? It's seriously top 10 of the greatest moments of my life. Seeing everyone around me going fucking insane was incredible and I wish I could go back to those moments.

After the show, we stayed around a bit to chat more. We took another group picture, who is absolutely perfect and I will cherish forever.

Our little group went back to our appartment by taxi and we missed the occasion to say taksit on jo pihalla I'm very disappointed smh

We were already losing our minds because of how well the meetup and the gig went and everyone getting to see their blorbos and have pictures and chats with them, when Missy looked at her phone and SCREAMED because Häärijä had made a story with the fanzine holy shit. You don't know how fucking proud I was. I think I looked at it for 5 hours straight hahaha. He doesn't know how a video that probably took him 5 minutes to film and post made every artist's day it was INCREDIBLE.

(this is a terrible selfie but whatever HAHAHA)

On thursday, it was matching tattoos time!! I am now the proud owner of a pineapple tattoo, matching with Missy, Jay, Cass and Micah. I am ridiculously happy to have it. I feel like we really are a weird family and I found my people. I love it so, so much.

Got to meet with @pianist-chan that day as well!! We all had a lovely picnic together as a group in a park, then one song at a karaoke bar! Micah and I didn't vibe with the bar so after a huge peak of anxiety we all decided to leave hahaha. It was lovely hanging out with everyone anyway so whatever hahaha.

Friday was the Allas gig!! I met up with the gang in the morning to go eat breakfast together, and we ended up getting @hika-chachachan at the same time after we both discovered that we're not the only french fan here HAHAHA. Sorry for everyone with us, we spoke in french most of the meal time because it was fun not having to speak in english for a short time hahaha. Later that day, we took a picture making the JUL sign, the only correct pose for cringe french people uWu

Then I went back to my hostel for a nice nap, got some food with Kat and then finally joined the queue one hour before doors. (I got to see @izpira-se-zlato and @n3ongold3n there! And also I could hug Bec again 💚) We got a pretty nice spot so I'm not disappointed! Although this time Jukka didn't notice me but it's fine I can't win everytime hahaha. The gig was also a lot of fun, nothing much to say here! I didn't realize at that time that it was my last time of this trip seeing Elsa, and I only fully realized it after she left :' ( I would have hugged you a lot harder hahaha

Saturday, Benjamin Peltonen and Erika Vikman gig with the kcord gang!! Before that I went to eat lunch with Cass!! It was sad saying bye, but I really had a fun time with them ;A; <3

I was super late for the gig and arrived after doors because that one guy in my hostel didn't realize that THERE IS ONLY ONE TUMBLE DRYER FOR THE ENTIRE HOSTEL DON'T LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AFTER THEY'RE DONE. URGH. He told me he just went to take a shower because it was taking too long WATCH YOUR GODDAMN CLOTHES MY DUDE I was so annoyed hahaha

Another session of meeting up with new people! This time I got to chat with @labda-kesho @beesgobzzzing and @dragon0blood and some more people I don't know the url of!! Anyway we had a great time! Benjamin looks like an angel, and Erika is…… you know how Erika is I don't need to tell yall HAHAHA. Everything would have been perfect without the extremely drunk girls around us spilling their drinks everywhere and literally falling on people. They had to be escorted out during Erika's part because they were way too annoying for everyone.

On sunday I FINALLY MET WITH EKO YIPPIE IT WAS TIME. I went to visit them in Espoo and ended up staying chatting with them for like 5 hours big oops hahaha we get along so well it felt like 10 minutes ;A; It was also my first time taking the bus by myself in Finland like a big girl!!! For the tram Elsa helped me so I could take it alone after she showed me how to, but the bus to another city?? That was a first one my mother is very proud

Monday, I went to Suomenlinna! When I lived in France 20 years ago, I lived right next to the ocean in a coastal city. Then we moved inland in Canada and you don't know how much I miss the ocean every single day. It's the #1 thing I miss about living in France, so I HAD to go to Suomenlinna. First of all, being on a boat again was so great, I really had missed that. It reminded me of the ferries I used to go on to travelfrom my dad's place to my grandma's place. Great times hahaha. Then I just wandered around for three hours, minding my own business and avoiding people hahaha. I sat next to the sea listening to the waves for hours. And it was the BEST. I think it cured me of 28 mental illnesses I didn't know I had.

On tuesday, I met with Eko once again but in Helsinki this time! We went to get tea together and chatted for another couple of hours HAHAHA. Teemaa in Helsinki is a lovely tea shop and you should definitely go!! I also went to the Skywheel on my way back I just HAD to yknow, Käärijä tourism

After I got back to the hostel, it was packing time to leave Helsinki for other horizons.

PART 2: OUTSIDE OF THE CIRCLE

My next stop was Oulu! So I headed out to the train station on wednesday morning to go on a 6 hours journey hahaha. At least it was a direct train, and the guy next to me was only here from Tampere to Seinäjoki, so I still had quite a lot of space for myself.

Once in Oulu, I was staying with @theplantbish and her partner. I cannot say how much I love her. There are not enough words to express this. The other people I immediately fell in love with I had already met them prior, so no surprises here! (Yall know who you are hahaha) But it was our first time meeting and it was like we already knew each other from 25 years ago. We went from total strangers to great friends in about 5 seconds, and then it took two days to have heartfelt late night conversations crying in each other's arms lol. Anyway this whole paragraph is a love letter to Plant you are amazing and I love you. I can't believe that in two weeks we got to talking on a daily basis hahaha.

Anyway, we also met with @gaysontoast because we went to pick them at the airport and WOW what a tornado of bubbliness <3 They were absolutely wonderful to have as a roommate!! (and they sleep like the dead hahaha)

In the afternoon it was my first time meeting with @submariini and @ravensofskyhold as well! I'm scared that I will run out of available tag spaces like you can only tag 50 people per post lemme count a sec ok we're at 33 still good (but absolutely ridiculous that I got to meet 33 people from tumblr in the same week??? what happened to not meeting strangers from the internet lol) but anyway all lovely people!!

The day after, it was finally time for Suomipop!! In the morning we went to pick @punanenmarli from the train station! Plant and her got back to Plant's place walking hand in hand and it was the fucking cutest shit I had ever seen ;A;

We then met at suomipop for Bess! HOLY SHIT IS THAT WOMAN GORGEOUS??? HOW DARE SHE??? WHEN SHE EMPTIED THE WATER BOTTLE ON HER HEAD I JUST

anyway I was completely normal about this show. Hm. So normal. Even during the french part in Lähtee käsistä. So. Normal.

The others wanted to go see Kuumaa during the evening and I would have loved to as well, but it was raining, I was drenched and cold and miserable and instead just headed back to Plant's place where I was soooo normal about Bess.

On friday, it was my birthday, yippie!!! The clowns from kcord (NOT PEJORATIVE IT'S THEIR NAME OK) got me a card that they all signed and I loved it so much a a a a a a ;A;

We wanted front row for the Käärijä gig later in the evening, so we were there at doors and immediately went front row, which meant that we also got to listen to Viivi and Yö ! Tbh, I really liked Yö, I understand why they're a legendary band hahaha.

However, between the two shows, Plant came back to our group and told me that Jukka. Sorsa. Was. Hanging out. In the VIP section. Which we didn't have access to lol. So we ended up just watching him from afar, when I noticed that he and his friends were leaving the VIP section and crossing the festival area. I told it to Plant who asked me if I wanted to go see him but I was like naaaah I'm shy. So she asked if I wanted her to come with me and I immediately said yes HAHAHA. We went over his little group and when we arrived at about 10 feet from him we waved, and he immediately came to us to have a chat WHAT A MAN I LOVE HIM. I was so fucking awkward (leading to this great interaction… me: "I just wanted to say hi!" Jukka: "well… hi" AAAAAAA IT WAS SO AWKWARD LOL). He noticed the earrings I made out of the guitar plecs he gave me and reached for them sir excuse me do you want me dead hahaha. I didn't say much after that but we still got a picture together that Plant took for me ILYSM

I met with Kat, Lou and their friend just before the Käärijä show and it was amazing as usual. This man knows how to perform hahaha. WE ALSO HAD THIS WEIRD MID-SPEECH SHIT TALK??? JERE WH A T???

After Käärijä, we headed up towards the other stage to Kaija Koo. I was on my phone for I don't remember what, and Plant poked me to tell me "are you on your phone? how often in your life are you gonna see Kaija Koo live??" and she was so fucking right omg. I put my phone back in my pocket and it was absolutely great, got to hold hands with Plant while dancing, seriously amazing. One of my best birthdays ever if not THE best.

We had a meal at Hesburger after everything hahaha (I LOVE EVERYONE IN THIS HESBURGER), and in the not quite night of Oulu, to me everything felt so, so right.

Saturday, I got to see Kat and Lou again for souvenir shopping! I GOT THE FUCKING BEST MAGNET IT SAYS PASKA MAGNEETTI AND I'M FUCKING CRYING NO ONE AT HOME WILL GET THE REFERENCE BUT I DO AND THAT'S WHAT MATTERS LOL

I said bye to Kat after that but it's so ridiculous we live in the same country LOL I should visit Toronto at some point

At Suomipop, we got to see first Portion Boys and they were so full of energy what a show!!! Nothing can stop them, not the heat, not the wheelchair, NOTHING.

Smitten, Omega and I got to dip our feet in the water at the suomipop beach and it was so needed the sun was HOT that day. The fact that we weren't allowed more than our feet in the water was a tragedy though smh

After that, it was time to my beloved ARTTU WISKARI, I got into his stuff just before flying for Finland so I was delighted he was going to be at Suomipop!! Ed came with me to see him what a gentleman lol (seriously tho I really, really appreciate it!!)

Last suomipop show for me was Elastinen! While watching him I could only think that this was the most shark looking man I had ever seen HAHAHA.

After Elastinen, the group went to see Apulanta, while I went back to Plant's appartment to pack my suitcase, sadly.

On sunday, it was time to take the train again. Plant took me to the train station and we ended up crying so much hahaha I was a mess in the train. But if it hurt so much, it's because it was equally fun, and I can't wait to see her again.

I was headed to Tampere, then Turku! Skull escorted me to my Airbnb they're so lovely ;A; We talked together for about 6 hours lol before I had to leave to do some laundry. While my clothes were in the washing machine, we explored the k-market to find some Pirkka merch but it was all gone, so I just got a lovely @windows95man shirt hahaha. COME BACK TO TUMBLR TEEMU YOU BELONG WITH US

The day after I met with Skull again to buy some Posankka merch! Posankka…… my beloved…… the most beautiful pigduck of Finland <3 I got a reflector, in true finnish fashion hahaha. We then headed up to Luostarinmäki, an open air museum on finnish craftsmanship from the past. It was ridiculously interesting and we spent 3 hours where we only got to half of the museum LOL, we're nerds. Too bad…… I'll have to come back to Turku……… so sad

In the evening we watched TRAFIK and some more Powerwolf music videos, what a great evening holy shit

Interestingly enough, on tuesday I met up with… Skull again lol, they joined me in the park in the afternoon, we stayed here for 2 hours until we left to go to a student bar to get a lovely hot chocolate <3 It was absolutely delicious!

Wednesday, last day in Finland. I met up with, you have guessed, Skull again lmao. We headed to Vantaa (because I had a plane to take r i p).

Skull and I then headed to Arttu Wiskari's Allas gig. We were quite lucky as the rain had just stopped (btw Kallo I still have the rain poncho I stole from you lol it's in Canada now sorry).

We had so, so much fun. The gig was just really fun and light hearted, everyone knew the lyrics, and it was the best ending for an amazing trip. Nothing like dancing with your friend on good music!!

I hugged Skull and cried in the train. Familiar scene, lol. Me sobbing in trains in Finland. I love you so much Kallo.

There are no words left in my heart to express how loved I felt during these 17 days. I will be back. I promise. I can't bear to not go back when I left pieces of my soul with dear friends. Take care of them please, I'll be back to put some more of my soul in them. I love you. So very much. You made my life really bright for a short time, and knowing how good it can be to be alive I want to feel this again.

To all of you, who are my soulmates, my siblings, my loved ones, my beloved: thank you.

[preciadosbass]

15/8/24 [1 DIY/2, if you concider the jacket diy due to the custom aspects + got 2 CDS!! key & significant photos at end]

reguarding the end of yesterdays journal, the update for when i actually went to sleep was 3:40-50. i woke up today at 8, fed boris and briefly said goodmorning to him, checked my socials, and got to adding a new addition to the things i post. i’ve decided to do weekly recaps/highlights to focus on the cool things i’ve done because i can imagine most people dont want to read the long journals i write and find out if there’s anything interesting hidden in there. i therefore started screenshotting parts of my previous journals to write it down and make a draft/drafts. at 9:20 i started making just random drafts, like unposted pictures ive taken at reptile experience, things like that.

AND saw the new gerard way sighting via my tumblr feed!! apparently he was at the cinema again XD — at 9:30 i started downloading drawing references of my fav musicians and got to drawing my killjoy oc again at the same sort of time. i finished at 10:30 and had to keep on redrawing stuff before uploading it to my phone because i couldn’t find a layer id drawn scribbles on so i could delete it lmaoo // i’m not really happy with how it came out, look for more than a quarter of a millisecond and you notice everything wrong with it. hopefully if i keep up drawing everyday i’ll improve.

i cant expect much from a second time drawing since like 4 years ago but i’m just disappointed. everyone else on here is so talented *cries /hj* i scrolled on scenemo-related posts on my tiktok feed until getting ready to go out. i didn’t plan on going out today, mostly because i thought i’d be sleeping all day, but i didn’t have the urge to go back to sleep so i tagged along to see some family with my parents. i got dressed into my dark cargo jorts [told you i’d be wearing these a lot] and my skinless shirt, as that and my silent hill shirt are the only ones that go with the cargos. i also accidentally forgot all of my bracelets, so i felt naked the entire time i was out. 11:20, i went outside with boris.

he was SO affectionate and spent the whole time i was out there circling around me while pressing his-self onto my back and then going over to my hand to nudge it, and prompt me to stroke him. he’s like this almost all the time but something about it today just made me more happy than usual. i literally couldnt stop smiling. like he was propped up on me that’s so adorable 😭. i must’ve looked crazy to all the people driving past though. i stayed out until 12:10 when i had to leave.

i went out to see my grandad at his assisted living facility, his daughter [my distant aunt], and my other grandad, of whom i didn’t know was coming until we got there. i listened to underoath and paramore during the car ride and we got there at 12:30. i was greeted by the care home’s cat and with my grandad [the one who lives independently] WITH LITERALLY JUST HIS FRONT TEETH AND NO OTHER ONES APART FROM HIS BOTTOM SET 😭 he talked about something to do with this when i came round his house not too long ago but i thought he’d have more than two?? just joking, he found it funny i was surprised too.

the care home had this outside music thingy on so me, my mum, and my mums dad sat in the garden while my aunt and dad wheeled my grandad down to our table. he wasn’t as unresponsive as he sometimes is today. it was clear he tried to make conversation and said a few things which were just so - him. [he has dementia and dosent usually speak/has little to no mobility to an extent/has been this way since i can remember etc. just tryna give you an idea of why this was amazing.] a few times he came out with like, full sentences, which was nice to hear. my aunt also gave me the can tabs shes been collecting for me. me and my dad left to go charity shopping [thrifting] at 2, while the others stayed. we went into at least seven/eight and in the third i found an evanescence cd RAA - such a good find. not even a minute later my dad pointed out an avril lavigne cd which i also took and bought.

i cant wait to play them both, i just need to find something to do while listening. i’m bad at just listening to music without another task, i end up focusing on my thoughts and not taking in or processing any of the lyrics etc. me and dad walked back to the home and sat with the others for a bit before my dad and aunt took my grandad back up to the living room area. to be fair it was getting colder and we had to head off anyways. he didn’t like the lift very much but they eventually got him into his signature chair around all of his housemates and i said goodbye to him. i gave him a hug and he kissed me on the top of my head without any prompt whatsoever, which was heartwarming. we starting driving back at 3 and i listened to gerard way on the way home before having not even a minute long nap.

we got home at 3:10 and boris was so happy to see me. he ran up to the car once we’d parked and meowed at me while lifting up his head for me to stroke it. i stayed outside with him and added the new can tabs to my tab bracelet. it was enough to finish it so i tied it off and it’s a perfect fit. its big enough to go down my arm a bit, but not big enough to fall off my wrist. at 4:50 i randomly sparked an idea to make an upcycled necklace with one of my favourite musicians on it. i didn’t have any pictures of jaime or chi that were small enough to fit on a bottlecap, so i resorted to a print of kellin quinn. my dad drilled holes through a corona bottlecap and once he was done i used mod-podge to still the picture onto it. i left it to dry on a book and went back outside with boris.

he came inside to sit on the table so i also sat there with him until around 7:20 as my phone ran out. while i was sitting with him however, i attempted to draw my killjoy oc again. its honestly embarrassing so i’m never letting anyone see it and i hope i neevr do again — but it’s a shame because i genuinely thought it’d turn out alright. in my room i checked to see if my necklace had dried [it had], doomscrolled on tiktok, and saved outfit inspo. this lasted up until 8:30 and at this time i got dressed again to try on one of the outfits in question, just so i knew how it looked on me so i can wear it the next time i do something.

the outfit was: [there’s a photo at the end but you can’t see a few things because of the lighting] a sleeping with sirens shirt, with a long sleeved burgundy shirt underneath it rolled up to just above my elbows. with my can tab bracelet, a studded single rowed cuff, a wooden bracelet, a string bracelet consisting of lots of shades of blue, an earth colour schemed crystal ball bracelet, ripped skinny jeans, and a sleeping with sirens band bracelet. after taking photos for journal reference and so i don’t forget anything when i wear it, i found a plain black zip up jacket. i took a few pins off my backpack and added them to the pockets and neck piece/line.

they consisted of: a saw pin, a paper clip with the gay flag on [again, not even really because i’m gay - i just love the colours, a paper clip with a black stone/crystal sphere attatched, a pin implying taxidermy, a kellin quinn pin, and a pentagram pin. i tried it on, and maybe it’s just because of the general heat [although i tried it on at night and my room dosent have a working radiator or anything] but it warms me up almost immediately. which is great because i haven’t worn a coat since i started dressing alt and im always cold. i did all of the above while listening to my new evanescence cd — my favourite song from the album hasnt changed, its imaginary. afterwards i went out to the kitchen table and sat with boris.

my sister suddenly [i say suddenly, she’s always like this - which is why it’s so draining.] started screaming at the top of her lungs and jumping and punching the floor [the ceiling above the kitchen] and it was terrifying boris and archie. boris was already panicking, and then it set off the dog because he must’ve thought someone was dying. it was deafening. i went upstairs, frustrated, because she genuinely acts like she dosent share a house with anyone else and screams while gaming everyday; despite also being told to quiet down everyday. she also knows how loud she’s being, and how sound sensitive me and the animals are. anyway, i asked her to be quiet because she’s scaring boris [in an slight angry tone, because it was angering. but not like, anywhere near shouting.] and she replied with something along the lines of ‘no im not, and i don’t care.’

i told her to stop again and she shook her head and continued speaking to whoever she was playing a game with. i just said her name, again, implying for her to stop and she smirked and started waving at me. i said ‘what is wrong with you?’, she told me she hates me, and i walked off. then i cried for like 30mins because i felt guilty about saying that. i’m just really sick and tired of my cat, who lives here, feeling scared in his own home because of her. aswell as me, i also feel on edge here because of the whole screaming thing, and how angry she gets over it when she’s told to shut her door or quiet down. [shutting doors dosent make a difference though, as our house is from the 1800s and the walls are paper thin.] i carried on accompanying boris and made a couple of gerard way gifs at 11.

i went into my room for a split second and when i came back i saw that boris was sitting in corner beside the doorway of the kitchen. which i immediately thought was really weird, and then i saw that he’d been sick. i called my dad because i don’t know how to clean stuff like that up from our old floors and tried my best to comfort him. he wasn’t really having it, which makes sense because he obviously couldn’t have been feeling good. it was a hairball, thankfully [and unkthankfully, of course], most likely due to him licking/biting out lots of his hair because of the bugs from outside getting on him. my mum will be giving him treatment for it soon, it’s just always trouble when its applied, because he gets very agitated and one he runs away, your not getting another chance. and if you do get through to him and apply the treatment, you can’t really fuss him for over a day.

which is such an obstacle for me because i try my best to spend a lot, if not all, of my free time with him. he kept on wanting to go outside afterwards, so i left him to his own devices as he was still quite skittish over being around anyone. at 12:20 i was in my room after checking if he wanted to come in, when i decided i was gunna nap. i slept on and off for 10 minutes before my mum came back from being out with her friend. i napped again, this time on and off for 15-20 minutes. she came back once id woken up and let boris in with her. he straight away had something to eat at the bowls outside my room’s door and was purring. my mum told me that it was raining outside so i felt terrible that id accidentally left him out there while i slept. hopefully he managed to get under my dads car/the bit over the front door but he was clearly wet.

i attempted to fuss him and apologise. i spoke to my mum about why i think he’s not okay and then got the yes to coming up and doing the questions. on the way upstairs, boris followed me round the living room and onto the living room table. he put his head back for me to stroke it and purred again. which sort of gave me the idea that he was/is feeling better, which i hope with every part of me is the case. upon going up to ask the questions, my sister got into a huge heated argument with my parents over some update that’s coming to one of the game she plays tomorrow. she said that it’s being released at 4am our [UK] time.

my mum said my sister could put an alarm on her phone, but she said that it won’t wake her up and started begging my parents to wake up at 4 to get her up. they said no and she started screaming and everything. she finally went into her room after my dad looked it up and found out it’s allegedly happening at 9, so she got her phone back for 10 minutes to put on another alarm and tell her friend that the original time is most likely wrong. i started doing my questions after my sister agreed she wouldn’t disrupt them and everything would still be okay, even though she’s not supposed to be awake when i do things like this. mainly because of change in routine.

i started doing my questions and she came into my parents room and i had to stop. she eventually left after kind of verifying that didn’t mess everything up and i finished doing my questions. i actually managed to get downstairs at 2:25, so that’s also when i finished them. it took longer that it should’ve because of the really long argument and after boris being sick, i had even more reasons to believe he isn’t okay. and, my parents didn’t ask me to do them until quite late. i went on to pour myself some icy water, feed boris, do my teeth, and then say goodnight to boris.

i showed him what i’d done today and fed him his treats like always. he was purring like crazy throughout the whole time i was speaking to him which made me feel really relaxed. i finished at an unknown time [i thought i logged it but apparently not] and went to sleep at 4:10.

🗝️ — boris/my cat, archie/immediate family’s dog, questions [about boris]/i ask my parents questions about my cat to verify he’s okay + will be okay in the morning. its a compulsive thing and i’m hopefully going to be tested for OCD in the future.

have a good day/night O_o

[best-enemies]

I have to write an actual review on Gallifrey TW4 for the podcast I’m in but I have a writer’s block, so here are some of my thoughts on the box because I need to yell about it somewhere and my friends are pissed that I keep yelling on twitter. Spoilers ahead!

Don’t expect anything coherent to come out of this post I’m just going to throw stuff in this post and if you get it you get it lol. It’s not like I have fully recovered from the blow anyway... 

Deception is a great introdution to the box and probably one of the best Gallifrey audios. I hate it when the OT4 gets separated (and that it happens all the time!), and in this case it happens between Narvin and Leela. However, it’s always great to see Leela working on her own and interacting with other people. When she tried to save those people from the resistance, the way she dealt with the situation even when she felt lost because she couldn’t trust her senses - a tool Leela values a lot as a warrior and a hunter - was absolutely incredible and it reminded me (not that I could ever forget that) of how much I love and admire her. 

Listening to them being inside the distortion field felt like a really bad trip 

All I could think throughout the box and not just Deception is that Leela had a crush on Eris and man I can’t blame her at all not only he was a great guy he’s really good looking and I got a crush on him too akshdashdkjaks

I don’t think I say this enough, but I really like Livia. She’s not evil, she just makes a lot of bad choices and she has this problem of being too much on the fence, which is not the characteristic of a true leader. She was never one. But still, even if I don’t remember the content of the earlier audios she’s in I’ve always liked her. And I liked that she finally chose a side in the end. I mean, she did when she helped the resistance, and that was a good beginning.

 Also can I interest you with my headcanon that she was Romana’s girlfriend at the Academy and they broke up? Lol Anyways, when she heard that Romana had “died” she was shocked and later on complimented her as a person and I kind of wish we saw more of them on good terms

Now, on Dissolution: I love Narvin. That’s pretty much it lol. Before starting Gallifrey my friend gave me a spoiler which was basically, “you’re gonna love Narvin”. Well, at first I really liked his voice - it was funny and cute and voices are an important thing to me. Of course, even if he seemed funny to me, unfortunately he was a total xenophobic asshole. He had convictions, he had layers which made him very interesting, but still, an asshole. Which makes me really proud to see how far he has come, how much he’s grown. When he joined Romana’s side I soon realized that my friend was right; Narvin had one of the best redemption arcs I’ve ever seen. He went from Romana’s political rival, if I could put it that way, to one of her most trusted allies and best friends. And he found out that he could still fight for and protect his home, but using the right tools, doing it the right way. Dissolution showed that contrast between the old Narvin and what he wanted and the new Narvin, and honestly? I could almost call this episode a moment of relief amongst the chaos. Narvin has become one of my favorite characters in the Whoniverse and one of my all time favorites as well.

Alright... now we get to Beyond *deep breaths*. So let’s start from the beginning, shall we? I spent months since listening to Unity living in a total hell not knowing if Romana was alive or not. I couldn’t believe that that was her ending, that she wouldn’t show up again for their last hurrah, and that my favorite companion ever was gone forever. But then, BF announced the cover, and the description for the episodes, and her name came up, and I could finally breath. My friend and I started theorizing that maybe Braxiatel had dematerialized the TARDIS around her and saved her in the last second - which is kind of what happened, I mean, the description said he wasn’t ready to give up on her! So they go to that place called Beyond, and shit happens. Those ravenous bitches were there eating people and shit. They even ate Narvin - I almost started crying in the middle of the bus, telling myself he wasn’t our Narvin, but he was a Narvin and it still hurt. I wanted to fight those ravenous myself. And not just that, Romana went through hell watching Leela die in front of her, and her reaction was really heartbreaking. 

Aaand that kind of brings me to a point here, something that bothered me. Romana and Brax, as always, spent the audio bickering a little, but they had their moments as well. Like when Brax says that it’s good to see her smile again, when he says (sorry I don’t remember it word by word) something like, she couldn’t die and that she’s supposed to be the best of the Time Lords, when she calls him her friend, and when she asks with a soft voice if he’s coming back to Gallifrey. And it was sweet. Like, they have a lot of issues, but they also have good feelings towards each other. Despite everything they care about each other, and it shows. Which is why I got really confused about Romana’s reaction when Brax was eaten by the ravenous. I remember I even thought she wasn’t around when it happened, that he had left and was somewhere else (I have a little difficulty paying attention), but then my friend said she was. So I was like... wait, she saw her friend, whom she’s known for most of her life (and more than she can even remember) die in a truly horrible way and didn’t even react to that? I’m not blaming Romana, I think this is really out of character for her. She may have difficulty expressing her feelings but she would never, ever react so coldly to the death of a friend. 

Now, on Brax’s death... I was really devastated. At first, as always I got confused and thought the older Brax was an older version of him, somehow. Even if he died, I was like, this is confusing, but it’s Brax? So I was weary, but still, I thought “well at least he’s safe now, on another universe in the Beyond”. But then my friend said “no, that’s an alternative Brax, the one we know is dead”. And that’s when I felt my stomach drop. IT HURT SO BAD. I’ll be honest and say I don’t know everything about Brax, or about the depth of his character, I’m still very early on the Benny audios and only have listened to him on Gally and a few audios here and there. People who have more knowledge on him say that the way he was written wasn’t really accurate, and that can be true, but I won’t get into that because I don’t know for myself. Still, Brax is one of the best and most interesting characters I’ve ever known. I loved him from the beginning. I got mad at him so many times during the series, felt as betrayed as Romana did, heard about a lot of dark shit he’s done, but still I could never hate him. I got a little bit too attached to him, which is why his death felt absurd and unnecessarily cruel. I don’t think for a moment that Brax deserved that, as I said I don’t know everything about him but something in my heart tells me that things could’ve gone another way. I knew he could die in the finale but not like this. And it’s a bit hard to put into words how much I hate the ending he got and how much I’ll miss him. I just hope he comes back, I mean, he always does, BF writers need to figure something out I don’t even care lol

I had to edit the post because my dumb ass forgot about one of my favorite and at the same time one of the most bittersweet moments of Beyond: Brax asking about the Doctor and saying leaving Gallifrey was a “family thing”. I love them and there isn’t enough stuff out there from the Lungbarrow siblings for me. He talks so fondly of the Doctor and now all I think about is that he never mentioned him in the series but thought of him on the last hours of his life... brb I’m gonna go cry in the bathroom

Oh god. Okay, Homecoming. I’ll start on a light note and say some stuff about Hot Rassilon: Richard Armitage nailed it. I’ve always liked him as an actor and I got thrilled when he was announced. His voice is like, the one I want to hear when I get my name called up in Heaven - or Hell, which is where I’m going - and his speeches were really powerful. Still, I wish they could’ve given him more to do. Of course, I understand that this is where they wanted to go with him - Hot Rassilon going batshit crazy and calling himself a god and coming up with some stupid fanfiction about the Time Lords becoming gods of everything, yada yada. I loved his interactions with the Dalek Emperor, the first thing I thought (besides the fact that it was really funny) was that it showed two despots with a god complex playing chess with the universe and discarding their people as garbage, fighting for their own personal power and not for the collective. Of course, I don’t expect the Daleks to care about each other - they want to spread throughout the galaxies and gain absolute power, not bring social well-being to their own. But that should apply to the Time Lord Society, and we see that Hot Rassilon doens’t give a flying fuck about that. 

I feel like I should reinforce the fact that I actually hate Rassilon. I call him hot but I hate him. I can do both

Once again, I need to point out the emotional moments between the galligang. It all felt so off. As someone pointed out here (sorry, I saw the post but don’t recall who said it now): it’s a war and there’s little time for grief, however, it’s not like they’re just grieving the loss of a group of people they’re not familiar with. The galligang are the closest thing they have to a family with each other. They’ve been through all sorts of things together, created a deep bond and have crossed the universe to find each other. And then, that Dalek ship blows up, with Narvin still in it, and... nothing. Leela even asked Romana if they could’ve done something and she says if the bracelet thingy had been working he would’ve come back already. And that’s it. At first I didn’t even understand, I was like “wait, he was really still inside the ship? And it blew up?”, because once again, I couldn’t tell from the way they reacted, I was only sure when they had that exchange. And of course, I started sobbing, because my favorite character was dead. I guess the writers wanted to focus on the war and political aspects and shit but did they forget that Gallifrey was about these three specific people and that their relationship was the core of the series, not just the politics? 

Okay, moving on. Leela and Romana once again end up on Gallifrey and run into Hot Rassilon. Did I mention I found him a bit scary? Well, I did mark me down as scared & horny.

Aaaaaand he decides to lock Romana up in a pocket universe. It surprised me, because I thought he would execute her. I find that he wanted to do that because Romana was the president who wanted to take Gallifrey into the future, to make it a prosperous and advanced society who left all their fears of the unknown and prejudices behind. And now he locked her up in the past. Get it? I don’t know, maybe that’s just me, but this was the first thing I thought. But I cannot even begin to tell you all how RELIEVED I am that she’s alive, and that there could be a possibility - even if a very tiny one - that she could escape. It’s Doctor Who, so everything is possible. EDIT: Now I’m sad because Leela will die after the end of the Time War and Romana will know about that, and all her friends are gone, and she believes the Doctor isn’t the man she once knew so she can’t rely on him, and she’s alone, and I’m FUMING because I’m still processing the whole thing and I hadn’t realized that. She’s totally alone and now I’m crying once again. I HATE IT HERE

As for Leela, I want to see what’s next for her. I haven’t gotten into the other Time War stuff yet, this is my first introduction to the actual thing, but I heard that she’s gonna fight alongside the War Doctor and might be on the War Doctor Begins boxset. But man listening to her and Romana having to depart like that broke my heart. And now I know that she’ll be protecting Gallifrey because of Romana, because Romana represents the best in Gallifrey.

*Phew* okay, that was a lot. I don’t even know if I covered everything, but I managed to make more sense than I thought I would at the beginning of this post. I don’t know man I’ve been crying for hours, went to sleep at 2am crying because of Narvin and Brax and woke up at 7am and my first thought was them, dying again... I don’t even know anymore, I guess I’ll either focus on uni and my job or curl up into a ball and cry for the rest of my life lolololol

Now I want to write a post with my theories on how the entire galligang is alive and in the epilogue in my head they have reunited and are all living together happily. Maybe it’ll be my next post.

[silentauroriamthereal]

A Meme

bold the statements that apply to you, italicize your aspirations, then tag nine people

tagged by: @totallysilvergirl; therefore I consider it a command! Also, because you all know how verbose I am, I’m adding my own commentary at the bottom of each paragraph/section thingy. 

i have small hands / i love the night sky / i watch small animals and birds when i pass them by / i drink herbal tea / i wake to see dawn (not willingly, but since I have to get up then, anyway, one might as well enjoy it!)/ the smell of dust is comforting / i’m valued for being wise / i prefer books to music / i meditate / i find joy in learning new truths from the world around me

No, I have big, strong hands with tiny, child-sized nails, and that’s fine. Lol. They’ve gotten very tendon-y and vein-y since I took up weight lifting and lost a lot of weight and I love that. I love the sky at any time of day. I drink all the teas, except for rooibus, which isn’t even tea, and can go to hell. Sorry, sorry. If you like it, good. Who likes the smell of dust???? Seriously. Wise? I’m not completely sure about that one. Intelligent, yes. Wise? I do strive for wisdom, and sometimes I think I achieve it. I prefer silence, honestly. Being a classical musician definitely gives one a love for having not-music on. Hence my name. I don’t really meditate, but I did briefly take up tai chi again during the three months of my shutdown. It’s over for me personally, since I had to go back to physical work a month ago. Barf. I’d rather be at home. 

fire.

i don’t have straight hair / i like to wear ripped jeans and overalls / i play an organized sport / i love dogs / i am not afraid of adventure / i love to talk to strangers / i always try new foods / i enjoy road trips / summer is my favorite season / my radio is always playing

I have ridiculous hair. It’s very fine and would curl on a humid day if it’s behaving nicely, but if it doesn’t, it’s just frizz. In winter I typically dry it and straighten it, or it’s just lank and frizzy at the same time. Awful. I wore ripped things as a teen, but now I attempt to pass as an adult most of the time. I despise team sports but like doing sport-adjacent things on my own, like working out and swimming and such. I would love to learn to kiteboard, but it’s too expensive and I don’t have a way to get to a beach (no car, no money: classic). Dogs are Good. Unless they’re brainless morons (but really, even then!) I do like adventures, sometimes. I *can* talk to strangers and do it all the time. Professionally, even. About genocide. Lol. I don’t always want to, but I certainly can do it. New foods are fun. Road trips are pretty good, though I prefer planes and boats (but not cruises, gross). Fall is my favourite, especially in places that have maples. I don’t have a radio and loathe the sound of them. I haven’t heard a radio in ages, since, again, no car. 

water.

i wear bracelets on my wrists / i love the bustle of the city / i have more than one set of piercings / i read poetry / i love the sound of a thunderstorm / i want to travel the world / i sleep past midday most days / i love dimly lit diners and fluorescent signs / i rewatch kids’ shows out of nostalgia / i see emotions in colors not words

I almost never wear bracelets, but if I do, I guess the wrist is the normal place to put them. I do love cities. I’m very much a city person. That said, I’m also quite happy to escape to a lake/ocean/wilderness now and then. I have two holes in each earlobe, a piercing in my upper left ear cartilage, and used to have an eyebrow piercing until it was pointed out that it would almost certainly be detrimental for my then-opera career (fledging though it was...) I don’t often read poetry, but I do sometimes. Thunderstorms are fantastic. I love travel, though maybe not just now. Plus, again, no money. I am naturally nocturnal, but the world doesn’t accommodate that. If I don’t set alarms, within 48 hours my sleep cycle shifts to 5am-12pm. Like clockwork. However, I get up at 6:30am for work, so... I aim for midnight. I’m constantly overtired because of this. I loathe “nostalgic” Americana with a passion. I also hate children’s TV shows, and they’re not nostalgic because I wasn’t allowed to watch any of those shows. Nothing that wasn’t deemed educational. I don’t even know what this last one means. (Too pragmatic, I guess...) 

earth.

i wear glasses or contacts / i enjoy doing the laundry / i am a vegetarian or vegan / i have an excellent sense of time / my humor is very cheerful / i am a valued advisor to my friends / i believe in true love / i love the chill of mountain air / i’m always listening to music / i am highly trusted by the people in my life

I wear glasses. I used to wear contacts, but one day - spring of 2009, specifically - my eyes very abruptly decided that they were not having contacts anymore, ever, period. So: glasses. I do actually like keeping my little apartment clean, but laundry is not my fave. I’m almost the opposite of a vegetarian/vegan: I’m keto/almost carnivore, lol. It’s what I need for my particular health/lifestyle goals. I eat mostly vegetables, meat, dairy, nuts/seeds, etc. Time? I’m half-German. Yeah: I’m punctual, and consider it highly rude not to be. My humour is sarcastic, silly, dry, dark - but not really “cheerful”, per se. People do come to me for advice. (”Dump his ass, girl!” Always. Lol.) I do believe in true love, though mostly for fictional characters. Lol. Mountain air: yes. Very good. I listen to music when I need to for music-themed work, or to walk or work out to. For me, listening to music is an active activity, not a background activity, ditto for podcasts, so I rarely do either, because it’s the only thing I can do. I work at being trustworthy, meanwhile. 

aether.

i go without makeup in my daily life / i make my own artwork / i keep on track of my tasks and time / i always know true north / i see beauty in everything / i can always smell flowers / i smile at everyone i pass by / i always fear history repeating itself / i can love unconditionally

I don’t wear much make-up, but I do wear some. Nothing on my face itself, just a bit of light eyeshadow and mascara. I’m pretty organized. Where I live, if I smiled at everyone, I’d get meth addicts following me home. History DOES repeat itself and not enough people fear that nearly enough. I think I do love unconditionally, but to love selflessly is always something we can work at doing more and better. 

Tagging: @chained-to-the-mirror, @yaycoffee, @flannelsaurus, @inevitably-johnlocked, @cathykell, @bakingsherlycakes, @atisenia, @88thparallel, and @shiplocks-of-love. Just if you want to! 

[dreamingsushi]

The Song of Glory - Episode 1

This was recommended by a friend, she says the subtitles are slow to come so I will at least watch one episode before applying to join the subtitling team and hopefully get in.  We will see. I am happy to have another historical Chinese drama to watch, these are most definitely my favorites and I need more of them in my life. Always.

I must say, that girl is beautifuuuuul. Like really gorgeous. At first I thought they may have been prostitutes, because they are all girls putting on make up, but then. Some other girls come in panicked because the minister Lu is coming. But gorgeous girl says to calm down, because they were waiting for him and that night they will dance for him. So then it means they are dancers, some sort of performers.  One thing is weird about their dance though: it is exactly the same as a dance that was danced in the palace, however after a background check, they all are itinerant artists, none come from the palace. On the upper floor, there’s the prince Peng Cheng having a drinking. He seems to be sick and the concern of his domestics bothers him.

When the performance is over, pretty girl is still over there dancing and minister Lu comes to find her. She set up that dance to make him come and it worked. She’s very honest about it. She knows of that dance because of her father, back then an artist at the palace. He was so impressed by “Sending off the army” that he drew all the movements while he kept thinking about it. She wants him to help her get closer to the Prince Peng Cheng. He kind of wants her for himself, but then she tells if he wants power and riches, maybe it could be nice to have an ally closer to the prince. He tells her they’ll talk again when she’s famous around the world.

If I understand properly, I am to lazy to replay it again, she is planning on assassinating somebody doing evil. The thing is... I am not sure if it’s the minister Lu or the Prince Peng Cheng. Anyways, she only has one chance to do it and she should not let revenge consume her too much. When her elder brother (but like... in arms, not a real brother) calls them to retreat, they have to retreat. Okay so the next scene explains it better to me. She wants to kill Prince Peng Cheng. Her master told her her parents were dead because of him. And... that playing in the bath was... very fake but... that other girl, A’Nu is also so gorgeous omg. So many pretty girls!!

Minister Lu goes to see the prince Peng Cheng as he heard the physician was coming to examine his condition. But... there’s something wrong. When the servant gives a tissue to the prince, there’s already blood on it and when he takes it back, he says oh look, you’re coughing blood again, but the amount hasn’t change ever since he coughed in it .___. Is his disease all staged? Seems like it is. Minister Lu is a bad official and he and other officials keep on cumulating the bad evils, which prevents him from freeing the people from their sufferings. So he’s the good guy.

I guess we found A’Nu’s family. I don’t who is that lady and her other daughter, but the big sister has been kidnapped 18 years ago. Oh. So she’s the mother of the Prince. Oh well.

So the minister Lu invited the troop to dance at the birthday of the mother queen or something like that. It takes me time to figure out the right names, please bear with me. But they haven’t even started to dance and they are already taking out their killer weapons. The pretty girl wasn’t on stage, she comes from the roof and shoots at the Prince Peng Cheng, but the sixth little brother takes the blow from him and dies.

Prince Peng Cheng wants to take the opportunity to arrest minister Lu, but pretty girl sends him a sword like think and minister Lu saves the prince so he doesn’t have a choice but to give him a chance to prove himself. He escapes with his army and pretty girl chases them. She almost manages to get him, but the prince is a good fighter I guess because he can even catch the blade between his fingers. Then his guard comes and tells him to run away while he engages with the assassin pretty girl.

I must say. The assassins did a pretty good job. They had everything backed up. So many people infiltrated. They even knew he would hide in the library and they made it sure it would burn down. I wonder how he will survive this.

Oh no. A’Nu is dying and trying to sacrifice herself to let pretty girl live. She gives her her bracelet so she can find her family for her. Nooo. No dying yet please. She was so cute and wanted to get married with the brother TT

And then... that’s annoying, the episode doesn’t seem to have a ending ost so I didn’t see the last seconds because of the automated play next episode thingy. Somebody comes and tells her to go. And that’s how it ends.

Damn. That is some DRAMA. This is so good, I am very impressed. That fighting scene with the drums. So gorgeous. I enjoyed it so much. I am really curious how things are going to turn out with this. That was somehow extraordinary.

[authoressskr]

Write Into My Arms [2]

Characters: f!Reader, James “Bucky” Barnes, Tony Stark, Pepper Potts, Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson, James “Rhodey” Rhodes, Peter Parker, Hope Van Dyne, Natasha Romanoff, Scott Lang, Wanda Maximoff, Vision, Okoye, T’Challa, Shuri, Clint Barton, Happy Hogan, Dr. Strange, Wong, Bruce Banner, Amelina Rodrigez (OFC), with mentions of Thor, Carol Danvers, Rocket Raccoon, Groot, Peter Quill, Gamora, Nebula, Mantis and Drax.

Warnings: Language, Angst (mostly in last two chapters), Action (in last chapter) and no Beta (just me and Grammerly up in here)  ::  Word Count: 9491   ::  Pairing: Bucky x f!Reader

This was written for @jewelofwinter’s Writing Challenge!! I also incorporated a prompt for @jaamesbbarnes + @sgtjbuccky’s D&S’ Milestone Celebration!!

Prompt: “Tin Man lost Y/N.” (@jewelofwinter’s prompt) + “Publicly, I agree. Personally, I think it’s chickenshit.” (D&S’ prompt) Bolded in text below. Prompt #1 will appear in the third part while Prompt #2 appears in the second part. The next parts will be posted by the end of this week. All three will be linked.

Summary: You’re a small time blog writer who is invited to interview the Avengers. ALL the Avengers.

*Note for this chapter: Endgame happened - kind of. Steve didn’t go back to the 40s. Tony didn’t die. Natasha got brought back with the Bruce Snap. Bruce is not the Hulk mashup they had going on. Everything else happened. This takes place 3 years after defeating Thanos.*

[PART 1]

Please do NOT repost, copy & paste, post or share my works on any other platform without my EXPRESS PERMISSION.

-+- REBLOGGING is fine and very appreciated! -+-

Natasha’s interview is probably the most paced, filled with shocking details about the Red Room, where she was trained to be the Black Widow and her various roles in SHIELD, Stark Industries, and the Avengers - all while she throws knives at a target in the gun range. Intimidating.

She then takes you up to the gym, showing you how to throw someone twice your size over your shoulder and then you retreat to her room where lets you try out her fancy electric bracelet/glove thingies. Natasha talks about her relationship with Clint as she settles against her forest green velvet headboard - how he was the one to pull her out of that life...to give her a new start to help clear “the red in her ledger”. 

“What changed? For you to take his help?”

“I was obedient. A perfect student. But I didn’t like what I did. I did it for the results they sought. I always accomplished my goal. I was broken. Broken and remade, broken and remade until I was what they desired.” She gives a harsh bark of laughter. “But Clint showed me there was another way. I have a skill set, he wasn’t asking me to live a lie - to go live a “normal” life. He was giving me a chance to save people instead of being a slave to ones who would never be concerned with me. The ones who had others to take my place should I ever fail.”

“So, you aren’t the only Black Widow Russia had?” You try to suppress a shudder at the horrible train of thought that brings forth merciless Black Widows and unstoppable Winter Soldiers.

“Oh no,” Natasha’s smile sends a chill down your spine and the terror, you realize, lies in the fact that everything she’s known before is death, pain, and the intricate ways in which to bring out about both. “I am the only Black Widow.” You nod jerkily before her smile softens and she reaches out to squeeze your hand reassuringly.

The sudden change in her demeanor is what causes your own to shift so rapidly. It sets forth a stunning revelation for you - she’s always wearing a mask. And that hurts.

It’s not like Tony, who has Pepper - who has known childhood and just feels things too deeply - so he wears a mask to protect himself...gives himself over to the persona he’s carefully crafted of lofty indifference.

It’s not Bucky, who had a regular childhood - as normal as one can have during the Depression, you suppose - who didn’t want to fight but went to war anyway. Who was torn and broken and wiped to be a weapon and now wears a mask to protect himself from everyone who sees him as the villain. But even he can always fall back on his normal upbringing for the first twenty-something years of his life.

Natasha had none of that. Absolutely none.

The sudden sadness comes from somewhere unknown but you feel it settle in your chest, a tightness that grabs hold of your lungs and heart, nearly stealing your breath away. What sort of people could do that to a child? Who could damage a person in so many ways for their own gain? Making them a weapon with the threat of always being offed if you failed. Everything feels heavy now and so you do the only thing you can; you turn your palm up and squeeze back in reassurance.

Natasha is amazingly open after that, suggesting a walk in the zen garden for you to finish up your fluff questions.

“I’m gonna take December. Santa Baby references all the way.”

“How do you like your coffee?”

“Depends on the day. Some days I need a venti caramel latte with three extra shots. Sometimes you just need a strong black coffee with a little room for some cream and sugar. Some days call for tea,” She shrugs as she finishes. “Just depends.”

Natasha is doing a rundown of the things in Russian she’d taught while you pack up your things from the cushioned bench, patience leaking from her very pores at your continued mix-ups. When she suggests testing them out on Bucky, you just shake your head - any nearly drop the recorder before shuffling your laptop from one arm to the other.

“I think Sergeant Barnes is a tough nut to crack. A solemn, mostly silent, tough nut.”

“Clint is a nut. Tony, an armor encrusted nut. Steve, a nut with the inability to long-term date. Bucky is not a nut. He is mostly silent, but that’s just part of who he is. A little solemn-seeming around new people. But Sam and him? Goofballs with a penchant for insulting and pranking each other. Give him some time.”

“That’s great, by the time I leave he’ll actually warm up to me.” A sigh escapes you, shifting your closed laptop from one arm to the other once again as Natasha and yourself make your way back to the living room from the very tranquil zen garden. You’ll need some more pictures of there for sure.

“Barnes is a softie at heart.”

“Is that so?” You jump at his voice, although Natasha doesn’t, which doesn’t surprise you with what you know about her. You’re sure little surprises her.

“Yep. See you later, Y/N.”

“Yes. Thank you, Natasha.” You stand awkwardly in front of Bucky, wondering why you get nervous every time he looks at you - not a bad nervous, but a strong tingle in your belly and chest that seemed to put you off-center.

“Ready?” You ask, plastering on a big smile.

“Come on,” He gestures with a tilt of his head, waiting for you to join him. You close the few feet and he begins down the hall.

“Where are we going?”

“The woods.” He pauses when he reaches the patio, “Will the woods have too much noise?”

“I wouldn’t think so,” You step off the patio and onto the grass. “You coming?” Bucky rewards you with a smile, a wide one that showed off his teeth with little lines crinkling by the corners of his storm blue eyes.

Once you reach the tree line, Bucky takes the lead, leading you to a little clearing and you smile when you see more sunflowers growing on the other side of the space. There is a couple of wrought iron chairs with plush black cushions and a little upside-down wooden milk crate sitting beside one of them. The chairs are set to the side in the shade and you take a moment to appreciate the serenity.

“It’s beautiful, Sergeant Barnes.”

“Bucky,” He corrects, shuffling from one foot to the other before gesturing you forward. Settling down in the chair beside the milk crate you set your laptop flat on your thighs, sitting the recorder on top of it.

“So, just to go over how it’ll work - I’ll ask you questions, you answer however you like. You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to. If you don’t like something I’ve asked, please don’t hesitate to let me know you don’t like it. Is there anything you don’t want to talk about, Bucky?”

“You can ask me whatever you like.”

“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable in any way.”

“Every other news agency, pretty much, has already written the ugliest and vile lies and truths about who I was, about what I’ve done...From what I read in your articles, from what I’ve seen from the others you’ve already talked to, I know you won’t do that. Ask me whatever you like.” After taking a deep breath, you give a reassuring smile and click the recorder on.

“Are you an animal lover?”

“Yeah. Steve and me keep trying to convince Tony to get a dog.”

“He won’t let you?”

“He just asked who was gonna take care of it when we’re on a mission for weeks on end, ya know? He had a point.”

“But you aren’t all on a mission at the same time, right? Someone here could take care of it.”

“Good counterpoint. We told him that too. He said he’d think about it. Still thinking apparently. Maybe just got lost in all those thoughts he has.” You hold out the recorder, wiggling it until he held out his flesh hand. You place it gently in his outstretched hand, reaching into your pocket for your little notebook and pen. You can feel his gaze as you scribble ‘Bucky/Steve need a dog. Mention to Stark. Repeatedly if necessary.’ A chuckle escapes his lips as he had leaned forward to see what you wrote, leaning back in the chair like before.

“Favorite guilty pleasure?” You set the notebook and pen on the milk crate as you smile brightly.

“Junk food. The serum speeds up metabolism, so we can’t get drunk unless we have some of that Asgardian stuff, so I can lay on the couch and eat all I want and then a couple of hours later do it all over again.”

“And that also bothers Sam, I venture to guess?”

“Yeah,” He’s smiling wide again, looking at the grass at his feet. “Mostly cause it’s his.”

“You steal his junk food?”

“He hides it bad!” Bucky defends with a laugh.

“Favorite weather?”

“Spring or Fall. I don’t care too much for the extra cold days we get in the winter here, but I like the familiarity of Brooklyn and New York, even if they aren’t my Brooklyn or New York. What about you?”

“I got heatstroke when I was in high school, so I’m wary of being in the sun for too long now. Otherwise, I’m good with just about anything. But I gotta admit I don’t care for the extra cold days either. And the ice! I hate ice.”

“Taken a fall, I gather?”

“Oh yeah. Definitely wasn’t pretty. Bruise all up my thigh and butt from how hard I fell and slipped a foot or so down the patch of ice. Limped back through the snow with my butt soaking wet and a nice wind blowing to add to the chill.” He’s trying hard not to laugh, flesh hand pressed hard against his knee while those little crinkles showed themselves again. “Go ahead and laugh. I’m tougher than I look.”

“Oh, I believe it.” Bucky laughs out finally, nodding in agreement while you admire the carefree laughter he’s engaging in.

“How do you like your coffee?”

“I usually just get it black after our morning runs...the menus just look so complicated now.”

“They really aren’t, you just gotta know your baseline.”

“Like?”

“Well, like lattes, iced coffee and most specialty drinks all start the same way - espresso. Espresso, plus whatever milk you want then you just add the flavorings you like. Experiment until you refine what you like and voila! Done.”

“And all that isn’t complicated?” Doubt is heavy in his voice, a smile still plastered on his too-handsome face.

“I’ve had years to perfect this narrowing down strategy, good sir. Coffee became a big thing right before I got into high school, so that’s the system I’ve been working with. When I was a barista in college, we would experiment with flavorings and shots and milk types, so that helped too. Do you have a sweet tooth?”

“Yes,” It’s almost a groan like you’d just brought out a decadent looking dessert.

“Does Stark have an espresso machine here?”

“Yeah. Big shiny silver thing on a counter next to Clint’s giant ass coffee cup.”

“Okay, when we get done here, I’ll make you what I like and we’ll see how you like that.” That seems to get his attention, his large frame leaning forward, the silver recorder looking small balanced in his palm.

“How do you like your coffee?”

“Humm, well if I want it hot, then I can go a couple of ways - white chocolate mocha with a pump of milk chocolate and a pump of caramel or I just get a mocha with hazelnut, vanilla, and caramel. Iced? It depends on the mood I’m in. Sometimes I just order tea. Sometimes I don’t want coffee, so I do a frappuccino or something like that with flavoring but no coffee. Depends on the day.”

“All of that sounded like a cavity.”

“Makes you want it all the more, huh?” You tease as he lets out a little groan.

“Yeah, it does.” You smirk, self-satisfaction written all over your face at his admission.

“Do you have a hobby?” He rubs his vibranium knuckles along his very sharp jawline before giving a little sigh.

“No. My therapist says I should get one but I haven’t found one I like yet.”

“Does it bother you when people call you the Winter Soldier?” It’s like he senses the change in questioning before you even open your mouth, his eyes falling back to the yellowing grass of the clearing.

“Sometimes. I know I was him. I know I was a tool. But now I know I’ll always be Bucky first, so it doesn’t bother me as much. The Winter Soldier is a part of me - a part resigned to the darkest shadows of my mind, locked away where he won’t see the light of day again - but he’s always there. I know they made me do all those things. And I remember doing them…” Your hand falls naturally over his, giving the metal hand a little squeeze and a soft smile. His eyes go from your face to where your hand rests on his vibranium one, a perplexed look before his shoulders drop a little and relax at the gesture.

“Anyone who knows what they did, can’t honestly blame you for what they made you do. And I’m sorry some people are uninformed assholes.” You take back your hand as he thanks you softly. “Do you think the Raft could hold him?”

“Maybe. Ross designed it to hold the Hulk but I’m sure given enough time he could.”

“This whole facility is full of geniuses,” You laugh out as he shakes his head.

“I’m not a genius.”

“Didn’t the Soldier shoot through a wall, several walls, to get to Nick Fury? That takes some serious calculations to be able to do that.”

“I was a sniper before…”

“Snipers have a clear line of sight. He didn’t have that. Now, that may have been him, but I don’t think so. You can’t brainwash someone over and over and over again and have them retain difficult mathematics in order to shoot through things with no clear sightlines. You’re a whole lot smarter than you give yourself credit for.” A pink creeps onto his cheeks before he looks across the clearing. After a few seconds, his intense blue gaze returns to you, nodding his head ever so slightly to the right. You follow where he’d tilted towards, taking in the sight of two big bucks easing into the clearing. You’re cursing the fact you’ve left your camera...wait, where did you leave it?

“There is a camera under the milk crate,” His voice is so soft you barely catch it, slowly nodding before sitting your laptop on the ground against your leg and drop the notebook and pen beside it, leaning over to lift the milk crate extra slowly. Withdrawing the bag, you ease the zipper open and withdraw a very expensive looking camera. You click it on and raise it, snapping a few shots of the deer eating before they both look up at the pair of you. Seemingly unafraid they come a little closer, Bucky rises, handing the recorder back to you before he takes slow and measured steps towards them. The bucks aren’t disturbed by him and allow him to come close, his flesh hand slipping into his pocket before offering whatever it was to the male with the darker coat, repeating the same thing with the lighter coat buck. You snap the pictures greedily, nearly laughing as you realize there are actually three bucks in the clearing. He must have heard you soft breathy laugh since he turns towards you and cocks an eyebrow. You point to the deer, then him and hold up three fingers.

The eye crinkles return as he shakes his head with a grin. The deer both decide he doesn’t have anything more to give and return to their grazing on the edge of the clearing, and you snap a picture of Bucky walking towards you and when he realizes it, he scowls at you which just makes you click the button yet again with a big grin on your face.

“What was in your pocket?”

“Sugar cubes.”

“Ahh, buttering them up for a while I see.”

“You know it, doll.”

“Wanna continue, Mr. Disney Princess?”

“I’m not singing if that’s what you’re hoping for.”

“Damn,” You sigh out the curse before pursing your lips. “Okay, fine. I guess we go back to questions.” Waiting for him to settle back in his seat, you carefully zip the camera back up and are about to tuck it back in under the milk crate when he speaks.

“I’ll take that.” You’re about to hand it over when you pull it back.

“Promise you won’t delete the pictures I took of you.” His storm blue eyes stare at you intently, looking for something before he gives a little huff.

“Fine.”

“Any of the pictures of you, Mr. Barnes.”

Another huff. “Fine.” Handing over the camera bag, you hold the recorder aloft as you try to remember the line of questioning you had planned for Bucky.

“Do you miss the 40s? Did you want a normal life after the war was over?”

Bucky shrugs, sitting the camera bag beside his leg. “I miss my family. I missed getting to come home to them. I...I don’t know what would’ve happened when I came home from the war. I know I was different from it - even before Zola’s experiments. I wasn’t the guy who had a different girl on my arm every week anymore...and honestly, I wasn’t sure I wanted to be that anymore either. I was different. Steve was different. The world was gonna be different when it all ended. I don’t know what would have happened...I guess I would have dated, found a woman I liked and had a kid or two...but I don’t know, maybe I would’ve decided to go off to be alone for a long while after the war.”

“Is Wakanda as beautiful as they say?”

“Even more. Maybe I’m just partial ‘cause I got left alone for big swaths of time, so I could sit by a little lake and just watch. Sunrise is beautiful, but the sunset...wow.”

“If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go - and you can’t say Wakanda.”

Bucky chuckles as you blurt out the Wakanda bit before running his flesh hand through his hair. “I guess I’d like to go to some little island with all the amenities but no one else.”

“No one? Not even Steve? What about Sam? How will you get your junk food if not from Sam?”

“Definitely not Sam, but I’ll be sure to make a list of the food I want beforehand. Maybe Steve, but he’ll have to sit downwind since he’ll have to be smothered with sunblock. I can think of a few people I might let on my private island, but they gotta bring something to offer me.”

“Like payment?” A good-natured smile is on your lips as you shake your head.

“Yes. Silence and beautiful scenery come at a cost.”

“And what exactly would one need to bring you to gain access to this island paradise?”

“What would you like to bring me?” There’s a glint in his eyes, something flirting on his lips as he waits for your reaction.

“Coffee. And you’d have to take it however I decided to make it that day.”

“Deal. You’ll be allowed on my island,” He gives a nod as he grants his permission, making you press a hand to your chest with a mildly shocked expression which doesn’t last long as you giggle.

“Soooo kind of you!”

“You’re welcome.”

“If Stark does a superhero calendar, which month do you want and what are you wearing for it?”

“Why would he do a calendar? Wear for it?” You withdraw your phone from your pocket and do the same thing you’d done for Steve; You show him the Australian firefighter calendar with each one holding or posing with baby animals for reference. “Oh.” Pink suddenly graces his cheeks and his throat as you smile at him, enjoying his obvious flustered state.

“As another example: Sam’s wearing the tightest red shirt he owns and jeans but could be ‘persuaded’ to dress in a nice suit and tie. He chose August. Steve chose -”

“Steve?” Bucky snorts out his best friend’s name. “Okay. Lemme hear it.”

“Steve chose May with a nice suit and tie with flowers in the pocket instead of a pocket square. But I convinced him to change it to him in just a tee-shirt and jeans, sitting sideways and painting a field of flowers in front of him. He liked that better.” Bucky’s shaking of his shaggy brown hair makes you think it wasn’t the oddest thing he’d heard about his friend.

“Always an artist, I guess.” Bucky bites his bottom lip, gazing off to where the deer had been. “October.” He says after a long pause. “What would you suggest I wear?”

You know it’s an innocent question, but your heart kicks up a little when he asks it. Especially after all the banter you’ve been through with him.

“What would you be comfortable in?”

“A hoodie and jeans probably.”

“I’d have you go out of your comfort zone then...maybe a gray velvet blazer with black jeans and a black shirt...maybe pull your hair back like when you were in the gym yesterday morning, maybe a blue silver shirt to bring out your eyes...no, the black. It’s October. Maybe tuck a Halloween handkerchief into your jacket pocket.” His gaze is intense and it’s your turn to look away. “Just a thought.”

“I like it. If you were to do the calendar thing, what month would you choose and what would you be wearing?”

“Oh, um...Probably October. I love the fall. I think I’d either want to wear a black skater skirt with black striped stockings and a mauve shirt with a cute Halloween saying on it while I’m surrounded by leaves and pumpkins or I’d dress like Velma from Scooby-Doo.”

“Scooby-Doo is the one with the great dane who talks, right? Velma is the one in the purple?”

“No! Velma is the one in the orange and burgundy with the glasses! Educate yourself, Bucky!” He holds his hands up at your hostile tone.

“Sorry. Sorry!”

“Now, back to the hard questions...what is some 40s slang you’d like to see come back into use?” He shakes his head again, flashing those pearly white teeth as those too cute crinkles show themselves again.

::xxxxxxxxxx:::xxxxxxxxxx:::xxxxxxxxxx:::xxxxxxxxxx:::xxxxxxxxxx:::xxxxxxxxxx::

You hadn’t realized you had spent so much time with Bucky...not until Clint had come to get the both of you for lunch.

Bucky had mumbled an apology to which you brush off.

“I enjoyed it! And it helps me to build the picture I wanna paint for you guys. No biggie at all! I’m pretty glad you felt comfortable enough with me to talk that long.” He had walked beside you the whole way back, listening to you rattle off about work and how you wanted to set up the release of each interview with patience and a very kind smile that showed in those handsome blue eyes.

After lunch, you were handed over to the Wakandans who take you to a formal room that looked like it was only used for taking pictures with expensive friends and foreign dignitaries.

Holy shit. Down the fancy rabbit hole again...

T’Challa begins the interview with the opening of Wakanda to the world.

“Wakandan technology is far above the rest of the world,” He nods seriously at your beginning statement. “And you’ve made examples of people who have tried to steal your vibranium in the past - does this mean that you won’t be integrating even the most basics of Wakandan tech to the outside world? Or do you think we’re still too greedy to be trusted with that?”

“It can be seen that way. Wakanda has thrived because even though our tribes are different, we work together. Vibranium is ours. We, however, would help anyone who requested it. Shuri and the technology department have already helped a great deal with Nakia acting as an ambassador. We will continue to do so.”

“The suit you currently wear as the Black Panther absorbs energy, is that right?”

“Yes.”

“So could you absorb Thor’s lightning and redirect it? And the same with Carol Danver’s abilities?”

“Yes, theoretically.”

“So the shield that Cap has, could also - in theory, do the same?”

“No,” Shuri interrupts. “Because his shield was not made the same way as the Black Panther suit, thus could not hold the energy long enough to redistribute it in any way.”

“Howard didn’t have your imagination. Or the abilities Wakandans have to spin it into fabric. Does it take a long time?”

“No, we have refined the technique for so long it is very easy.” T’Challa takes back over, Shuri giving a little huff at her brother.

“I’ve heard that Wakandan sunsets are the most beautiful in the world. Mr. Barnes seems to agree. You three would be biased, but I’m going to ask anyway. Is it the most beautiful sunset in the world?”

“Yes,” All three say at the same time, each one has this shining look in their eyes, seeing it in their minds like it’s happening right before them.

“The way you all said it - the way you all look right now, it must be truly magical.” You wiggle a little in the chair as all three exchange glances, pen trailing down the notebook to see your next question.

“Sergeant Barnes was taken to Wakanda after the Sokovia Accords bullshit,” T’Challa’s eyebrow raises but he says nothing as you continue. “Why did you allow this? If anyone learned you were harboring the most wanted fugitive in the world at the time, there could have been serious repercussions for you all.”

“What could they do to a poor, third-world country that most people didn’t know even existed?” Okoye cross-questioned, her eyes so sharp you know why she was chosen to be a leader. She’s got a scary strength in her.

“Excellent observation. No one would look there. Is that why you let Steve in also?”

“I think by then we figured, we have one broken white boy, why not add another?” Shuri pipes up with a big smug grin. “But Steve didn’t get half the treatment that Bucky did. Bucky had to have family dinners with us. My mother insisted that if he was to remain safe once he got better, he would need some help.”

“What kind of help?”

“We, for all purposes, adopted him into the royal family,” T’Challa confirms and honestly, if you had a drink, you’re about 90% sure you would have spewed it all over your notebook and yourself.

“I’m sorry, wh-what??”

“He was given titles so that he has all the same immunities that we share as royalty and as the Dora Milaje receives as bodyguards to the royal family. That way General Ross could not have him arrested for any of his past crimes nor any new ones he could dream up to put on the White Wolf.” T’Challa smiles at you. “I guess he did not tell you that.”

“No. I honestly didn’t have a clue about that.”

“He probably wanted it that way. He said they are just words on his passport and papers. Bucky is very thankful for them and for all he has received, yet he has asked me to remove them when we feel that it’s safer to do so...He thinks he is undeserving. He has had to die many times for his country, for the world, so I feel the least I can do is give him those words.” Okoye nods at her king’s words as you try to fight back the watering your eyes seem to want to do.

“May I ask why do you call him that?”

“The children who lived nearby began calling him that - said his hair was shaggy like a wolf, eyes sharp like a wolf. Thus that was what they called him.” Okoye answers as Shuri taps at her phone while nodding absentmindedly along with Okoye’s words.

“So, I want to ask, should I break all these women’s hearts who are going to read this by telling them you’re off the market, T’Challa?” He chuckles, eyes downcast but mirth evident in them as he rubs a hand over his beard.

“I am. Nakia will be my queen one day.”

“Gonna woo her like a regular guy? Breakfast in bed? Flowers? Or do you have like Wakandan rituals you have to do before you can get engaged? Similar to the British? Like she’ll need to meet the Queen and get her approval and adhere to the royal duties and ceremonies...like that? Or does she already know about that since her father is the head of another tribe in Wakanda? Does she want to deal with Shuri all the time?”

“Oooh - fighting words!” Shuri grins out at you before sticking out her tongue, which you return with childish glee.

“He freezes half the time he sees her.”

“Aww, really Okoye? That’s adorable T’Challa! You must really adore her for your brain to sort of blank like that. I think that’s wonderful. Everybody deserves someone to sort of freeze up and just stare at them like they’re that important.”

“Thank you. I wish that for you as well, Y/N.” He must take in your startled expression since his smile kicks up a few notches before his phone rings. “Excuse me.”

“Of course, your highness.” T’Challa scowls at you before leaving to answer the call.

“I need to go,” Shuri whispers, eyes darting at the door her brother just exited through.

You can see the cogs turning in her mind. You honestly hope it doesn’t involve more deer. “Book it!” You whisper back, watching her dart out the door. You turn to Okoye. “So, how do those bead things work?”

Okoye begins going over the basics when Shuri walks back in, dragging her feet before looking at you with the biggest grin while T’Challa comes in right after her with a firm hand on her shoulder.

“Mother is not happy you managed to prank M’Baku from this distance.”

“She should be concerned, our future is in both of your hands,” Okoye sniffs before shooting you a smile, the smile disappearing into what you’ve been referring to in your head as her “business face”.

Shuri retakes her seat, before ignoring both of the adults and tapping on her bracelet. “You asked how these works?” An enthusiastic nod is all it takes for her to show you how their bracelets work before she overtakes the interview, showing you just as many memes as Peter did, and even leading the discussion on the school system differences between Wakanda and everywhere else. She talks about her lab, T’Challa putting on a show of yawning as she goes on, and you ask her about how she developed the Black Panther suit to store, and then use, the energy wielded against them.

“What about potentially dating? Would they need to be as smart as you? Would they need to be Wakandan?”

“If I had to wait for someone as smart as me, I would die of old age. That’s not important to me right now, nor, I think, anytime in the immediate future. T’Challa is King and when he gets married, he can make all the heirs and I can be in my lab showing them all the embarrassing photos and videos I have of him.” T’Challa and Okoye both look on with matching expressions of relief/humor. And honestly, you can’t blame them. If she’s pranking someone from halfway across the world is any indication, they all have every right to be worried.

Okoye has said little the whole interview, but each word is as measured and weighed as the words you submit for the blog. She knows her value and you have to sort of stare in awe of her for that. A fearsome general who would die to protect her king, her country and the world. She explains her tattoos, briefly, and what she doesn’t add - Shuri is more than happy to fill in while T’Challa corrects her.

“And that’s how her husband got imprisoned…” Shuri adds as if this is the least important bit about the closed-off Okoye.

“You’re married?”

“My husband asked me to choose between him and Wakanda. It was not a difficult choice.”

The epitome of He Wasn’t Man Enough for Me.

“You went straight up Olenna Tyrell on him, didn’t you?”

“If a man ever asks you a similar question, think of myself and Olenna.”

“That’s life advice if I’ve ever heard it, Okoye.” You agree immediately with the general. “We should have t-shirts made!”

Shuri is typing furiously on her phone. “They’ll be ready in two hours.” Your mouth is open. Wide. 

Again.

The power of a genius teenager with seemingly unlimited funds…

“You must be careful what you say to her…” T’Challa voices as he rises from his chair. “And for the record, I would not do Tony’s fake calendar.”

“He would. He would like to be February.”

“Shuri!”

“It makes it all the more real, you know - moments like this… What do you think he’ll wear?”

“Probably traditional Wakandan clothes. But if you had Nakia on your side, you could get him to wear just about anything…” Okoye shares a devious smile with you as she stands from her seat, brushing an invisible (to you) piece of lint from her skirt.

“Have a good rest of your evening. We will see you at dinner, Miss Y/N,” T’Challa gives you a brief hug, his spicy scent reassuring in a way you didn’t understand and didn’t care to think too much about since it was comforting. Okoye giving a bright smile before trailing after her king, heeled boots clicking from the room with authority.

It’s the most dynamic interview so far since there are three strong people who all love their country with very strong ideals.

“You and the White Wolf seem to be getting along better…” She has a sly smile painted on her lips, making you give her a little side-eye as you finish gathering your things, closing the door firmly behind you before heading with her down the hallway back to the hub of the house.

“I would assume so. Bucky is a lot…,” You search for the right word. “Softer than he lets on.”

“Oooh, its Bucky now, is it?” She gasps dramatically, a smile stretched like a Cheshire cat.

“Princess, I have something to tell you -” You turn toward her with the most serious expression you have mustered since you set foot in the compound. “I don’t think you are ready to do spy or fieldwork. Your subtlety needs some work. Like, a lot of work.” Okoye snorts ahead of you, standing by the entryway, making your own smile widen as Shuri scowls at you.

“Got time for me tonight?” Tony calls out from farther down the hall headed towards the kitchen.

“Sure do!”

“Perfect! Right after dinner, then?”

“Sounds good to me,” You shout back, watching him give a thumbs up before disappearing back down the hall.

“So, what did you and Bucky talk about? Did he tell you about his goats?”

“He did. Also mentioned a nosy princess who helped him too.” You walk past where they stop in the living room, headed to the patio where Sam, Steve, and Peter are all standing, T'Challa heading towards the men as they watch Shuri stick her tongue out at you as you go to your room to start downloading the interviews and adding to your notes.

“Just a few days and she already has your number, sister.” T’Challa chortles, Sam’s laughter echoing alongside.

“Shut up, brother.”

It’s the last thing you hear as you hurry to your room with a big smile stretched on your face.

::xxxxxxxxxx:::xxxxxxxxxx:::xxxxxxxxxx:::xxxxxxxxxx:::xxxxxxxxxxx::

“Interviewing Tony Stark, also known as Iron Man and the face of Stark Industries. Now, Tony, would you like to start with the fluff questions or get straight down to it?”

“Let’s save the fluff for the end, huh?” You swallow hard at his words, a tight smile dancing across his lips before disappearing. Settling a bit more into the dark brown leather chair of his office, you nod before glancing down at your list of questions.

“What was your ultimate reason behind pushing for the Accords?”

“I know we needed to be checked...held accountable if things went bad. I felt we could always go in and amend it later, but I saw what Ultron did, first hand and without Fury and SHIELD...who was gonna be able to hold us accountable?”

“But what led to the Accords was Sokovia, but the catalyst was Zemo posing as Bucky for the bombing, correct?”

“Essentially, yes. But even SHIELD answered to a higher authority.”

“And look what happened to SHIELD,” You counter, eyes just as sharp as Tony’s in the well-lit office. He sighs and you can see him working out where this is going, what question is next. “I don’t think that people who hide their faces should be trusted with the security of the world’s fate. But I don’t think you were wrong when you said you see a shield of iron protecting the world, but I think you need to see that the Avengers, the Guardians of the Galaxy...these are that suit of armor you wanted. People who have power but have never had to work for it -- sacrifice for it -- see others die because of it -- they honestly have no right to tell you if you’re in the wrong. You guys are the only ones who can.” Tony drags his fingers along his desktop before reaching for his amber drink. “I’ve seen your building acquirement. I know you spearhead the cleanups. I know you have bought buildings that have been damaged by not just the Avengers, but by HYDRA, the mafia, insurgents in the Middle East, and Yakuza. I’ve read other interviews with you - before and after your kidnapping. What happened to you in that cave and what happened to you when you pushed that nuke through that hole in the sky, they changed you, Tony. For the better, I believe.”

“You sound so...convinced.”

“And you aren’t? I’m as convinced you are a truly wonderful person, superhero, husband and father as you are convinced that Spider-Man is going to be the very best version of the Avengers you know he can be.”

“That’s a lot,” You can hear the emotion in Tony’s voice and you give him a watery smile in return.

“Do you think people should know about the existence of the Raft?”

“Look, that-it-it all boils down to secrecy. It boils down to some Area 51-esque shit. Should the nice lady working the night shift at the diner know? What would it change for her? Not a lot. It would just give people another reason to argue - give politicians another crusade to go after that will never have to produce actual fucking results and keeps everyone from going after the real problems we’re facing.” The frown he’s sporting makes you think you should have skipped that question, but the quickness with which he’s answering makes you think he isn’t exactly the Raft’s biggest fan either. “So, I’ll have to simply say that: Publicly, I agree. Personally, I think it’s chickenshit. But right now, the chickenshit is needed. Especially after the Snap, the Blip, whatever the fuck they call it...normalcy is what everyone is craving and it’s what they should have right now.”

“What sort of jelly do you use on yours and Morgan’s pb and js?”

“Strawberry preserves usually.” The tenseness seems to seep away a little, but you see you need to coax his mind to slow down a little more.

“Bowling or mini-golf?”

“Mini-golf.”

“Bubble bath or shower?”

“I don’t think I’ve ever had a bubble bath to relax. Showers are for getting clean.”

“So what do you do to relax?”

“Not a whole damn lot to be honest. I-I can’t seem to shut it off most days.” His fingers dance around the rim of his almost empty tumbler. “Mostly I push things aside to deal with them later so I can be in the moment as much as possible with Morgan and Pepper.”

“Craziest thing she’d done so far?”

“Pep and I went out for a date night. Left her at the Tower with Steve, Natasha, Sam, Clint, Bucky, and Peter. Come home and a) she’s still awake and b) she’s hanging from the damn ceiling with Peter while Bucky shoots Nerf darts at the both of them while Steve cleans up all the scattered toys and was shouting that she needs to get to bed not be more riled up when we get home.” The softest smile is dancing on his lips, his eyes full of love and you know it’s not just for Morgan. “Morgan was squealing with joy, so I couldn’t really get angry. Especially when I saw Peter had layered his web fluid so if they fell or slipped, there was webbing about every two feet as a precaution. Plus they had the mats from the gym on the living room floor and Clint was sitting on the countertop, using those eagle-eyed peepers.”

“Craziest thing before that?”

“Last Christmas when Steve took her sledding down one of the hills in the compound, which turned into sled racing when Rocket and Thor got involved. Pep didn’t care for that. We built some bumps to be like a brake system the next morning. She still didn’t like it too much.”

You learn Morgan also likes it when Thor makes her hair stand on end and Groot gives her flowers.

“She’s with Pep’s mom and dad in California for a couple of weeks since they just got back from a cruise and haven’t seen her in a while. I miss her. Facetiming every day just doesn’t cut it.”

“Starting to get a little itchy - ready for her to get home. I get that. I adore my cousin’s children. Been around them nearly every day of their lives the first year. Then she moved to Idaho for a job and I didn’t get to see them again until they were almost two. She visits more often now, I’ve seen them every two weeks for the last four months. It’s hectic - but I love it when there are toys, crayons, and blankets scattered everywhere in my living room. When they leave, man, I swear I sleep for a whole day then just sort of sit around looking at the cleanliness with a little bit of disdain.”

“Luckily I have you lot to make a mess, so it doesn’t seem so bad right now.”

“Well,” you laugh, “That’s certainly one way to look at it. Okay, ready for more of the fluff?”

“Bring it.”

“How do you handle a bad hair day?”

“I’ve never had one in my life. Next question.”

“Okay, if you were to do a superhero calendar, which month would you be and what would you be wearing for it?” Tony shakes a finger at you, grinning.

“See, Rhodey told me about this question, so I’ve had some time to think about it...I’d say I would like to be June or July, what did Cap choose?”

“May.”

“July then. AC/DC shirt with a jacket and jeans, holding on of the older Iron Man masks under one arm. Fireworks in the background, maybe holding the shield. Really sell it, ya know.”

“If it was just you, no showing off...just something nice for Pepper.”

“September. It’s when we got married. What about you?”

“October.”

“Costume or regular clothes?”

“Depends on the photographer and how I’m feeling, I guess. Ideally, both. The favorite as the big picture and the other in the bottom corner or something.”

“You’ve had time to figure out your answer too, huh?”

“Sixteen interviews.”

“Sixteen? That doesn’t seem right.”

“Sam, Clint, Wanda, Bruce, Hope, Scott, Steve, Vision, Peter, and Rhodey. Natasha, Bucky, Shuri, T’Challa, Okoye, and you. Sixteen.”

“In four days. Like speed dating for a writer.”

“That’s what I told Sam!”

Tony walks you back to your room, discussing his favorite snacks, telling you what Monte Carlo is actually like before suggesting you go there on vacation with the dirtiest smirk you have ever witnessed first-hand. He then offers to let you try out a suit when Steve goes for his run tomorrow morning, which you feel a flutter of hope that you actually do get to do something like that.

He gives you a tender pat on your forearm when he says goodnight, leaving while whistling what you’re sure is ‘I’ll Be Seeing You’ by Billie Holiday.

You stay up for a few hours over what you should, furiously typing up your interview with Tony when Amelina finally texts you the gif of Kermit on the typewriter with the words “GO TO SLEEP!” immediately under it. You sigh, rubbing your eyes and pinching the bridge of your nose, but you do as she bids, texting her first that she needs to get her ass to bed too. You finish it up with “Stalker” with the eyeball emoji. Shuffling into your pajamas and letting the plush bedding swallow and comfort you, mind still thinking of all the things you need to add to the interview piece.

And that’s how you drift off, thinking of a shield of Iron Man armor drifting around the Earth.

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Someone is in your room far too early for your liking, poking you awake then ordering you into the bathroom. You sleepily realize it’s Tony before stumbling to the bathroom, brushing your teeth and managing to hop/change into a pair of black leggings with constellations all over and a dark gray t-shirt before returning to the bedroom.

“Don’t give me the glare pout. I brought coffee.” Tony has socks and shoes laid out for you and when you raise an eyebrow at him, he just shrugs then taps his wrist where a watch would be. Slipping into the shoes and socks as quickly as possible, he hands you a tall ceramic mug, bidding you to follow him quickly and quietly down the hallway towards his workshop.

When you get in, you see one of the earlier suits standing in the middle of the room and the butterflies in your stomach turn to little stones that sink and pile up when realizing what you’re about to do. The sweet coffee doesn’t help now that reality settles in. Are you really gonna do this?!

“Scared?” You can’t even manage words right now, so you just nod. “Good. Healthy. Smart, even.” He touches it, the suit open beneath his fingertips like a mechanical flower. “Come on,” He eggs. “FRIDAY and I are here to keep you safe.” You nod again, nerves or not eating breakfast - you aren’t sure which it is - is making you feel the first tendrils of nausea. “You don’t have to.” Tony offers the out, studying you carefully.

“No, I want to.” He helps you into the suit and just as it closes you hear him ask if you’re claustrophobic. 

“Maybe you should have led with that Tony!” Thankfully, though, you aren’t - well not with this you don’t seem to be. It is close around your body, but it’s not a crushing, tight sort of feeling you would associate with claustrophobia.

“Can you hear me?”

“Yes. Did you just hear me yell at you?”

“Yes, but I ignored it.” You can see him move to stand directly before you. “Perfect. Wanna try walking first. Careful steps first so you don’t damage my floors.”

“If I eat shit in this suit?”

“Just gently push yourself up and get up like normal.” You do pretty well and Tony is smiling, watching like a proud parent. “Okay, let’s try hovering.”

“Hovering?!”

“Yeah. FRIDAY give her a little lift.”

“Yes, Boss.” Sounds in your ears softly before you hear a soft hum and feel the suit lift you from the ground.

“Holy shit,” You murmur, leaning forward and then backward to test the feeling of floating.

And just about that time when Steve comes in with Bucky, Sam, and Rhodey all in tow.

“Tony, do you know where -” He pauses, seeing Tony on the ground and the suit hovering a handful of feet off the ground. “Tell me she isn’t in there.”

“Okay. She isn’t in there.”

“Tony!”

“Steve!”

“FRIDAY?”

“Yes, Miss?”

“Do they always argue like an old married couple?”

“Yes, Miss, they do.”

“Get her out of that thing!”

“She’s hovering off the ground Steve! Not being sent out to tackle an arms dealer!”

“Can you set me down, FRIDAY? I can see the vein in Cap’s forehead throbbing.” The boosters die down, FRIDAY setting you down gently before the helmet flips up. “Let me out please, FRIDAY.” The rest of the suit opens and Tony offers an outstretched hand with his lips pressed in a thin line.

“Listen, I don’t want to be the person to give Captain America an aneurysm, so we’re all going to the kitchen to have breakfast.” You start past Tony and when you get to Steve you reach out, patting his chest twice. “And pull the stick out a little, Cap.” Bucky snorts before following, Sam shaking his head with a big smile before following.

“You know, every day I like her more.” Rhodey chuckles out. “Come on you two, you heard the lady. Breakfast. Bucky’s probably volunteering to cook as we speak.” Both Avengers give each other a look before mumbling out half-assed apologies and all three men then headed for the kitchen and the sound of multiple peels of laughter.

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Bucky and Wanda make omelets as big as the freaking plates while Sam makes bacon and sausage, all of it is delicious - not to mention highly entertaining as Scott did a few magic tricks, making Dr. Strange arch an eyebrow when he pulled cards from his mouth. Dr. Strange and Wong lead you to the zen garden afterwards, Wong leading in a small meditation set before you begin the interview.

Wong is nearly as closed off as Okoye, giving you just shy of not much, so you chalk it up to the fact that secrets seem to go hand-in-hand with mysticism. He does tell you about Tibet and how Stephen got him to listen to Beyonce. He is also a devotee of Adele and Boston.

“Like to keep that one name thing alive, huh, Wong?” He just chortles, taking a sip of his strawberry hibiscus tea.

Dr. Strange goes over his life before the accident and about not returning to medicine.

“I thought that was important, being the asshole surgeon who was the best at everything, the smartest at everything. The accident took everything from me and I was willing to do whatever to get that back. To return to being me. The Ancient One showed me that there was so much more than me to see.”

Twenty minutes later and you and Wong are fighting back laughter. “He thought Dr. Strange was my ‘made-up name’ and not my actual given name.”

“To be fair, the doctor part was an add on. And he’s sort of fair in assuming that’s a made-up name...I mean he’s already met Captain America, Iron Man, War Machine, Falcon, Black Widow, Hawkeye, Black Panther, Scarlet Witch, and Ant-Man. Dr. Strange isn’t that much of a leap after that.” But honestly, you can see Peter doing that, and that’s why you’re still fighting back the giggles.

After a couple of hours with the magic-wielding pair, you have FRIDAY lead you to Pepper. She’s in her office, a white-walled space with homey pictures scattered on them while several vases of flowers adorn the top of a small antique-looking half-table painted in a dark blue. She’s in a soft pink button-up blouse with a pair of charcoal lounge pants, her hair up in a messy ponytail as she looks up from her laptop.

Pepper is the most comfortable with the questions by far, both serious and fluff, and navigates them both with wonderful tact and subtle humor. 

She talks about Stark Industries, about the Avengers, about her suit - Rescue. But you enjoy it most when she talks about Tony and Morgan. Her whole demeanor changes; her body seems to relax, her voice softens and her bright eyes get all the brighter.

“It seems like that’s the only time Tony is really, truly happy. And after I got him back...living our lives, being with each other and having a family - the simpler life...that’s all that mattered. I know Tony and I know he has a hard time shutting his brain off, but those five years while everyone else was struggling,” Pepper sighs, looking guilty. “I was having a life I dreamed about. It wasn’t complete - we had so many taken from us but we had each other. He was alive. That’s all I could have asked for. And then Morgan came along and I thought, maybe this won’t be so bad. Maybe Tony won’t feel so guilty anymore. Maybe he’ll get some rest,” She smiles ruefully. “When people tell you about kids, they say you won’t be getting much sleep. But I was hoping she’d wear him out enough to sleep.”

She nearly brings you to tears when she talks about the fight with Thanos - how she almost lost Tony again - before she clutched onto his shoulder, Rhodey’s armored hand clinging to her’s, Clint’s hand gripping onto Rhodey’s shoulder and Carol holding onto his. Steve is on Tony’s other shoulder with Thor’s hand heavy on Steve’s shoulder while Sam and Bucky are holding onto each other’s hands while Peter grips Thor’s free shoulder hard and Natasha squeezes Peter’s hand reassuringly. All of the Avengers forming around Tony in the gauntlet, shouldering the sheer force of the stones so they all walk away together this time.

“And it worked,” Pepper’s voice breaks a little, the emotion, even three years later is high. “I got to keep Tony, Morgan got to keep her dad...the world got to keep it’s Iron Man. Natasha was brought back, everyone from the Snap was back - it was more than we could have hoped for. Tony, Bruce, and Shuri rebuilt Vision a little while after we rebuilt the compound. I - I just couldn’t have asked for more.”

The words seem to break you the second time around, sitting in your room, sobbing on the floor as the interview stops playing through your headphones.

You don’t hear the soft knock at the door. You don’t hear Bucky and Peter enter but you feel Peter pull you into a hug while Bucky strokes your hair, making you cry all the harder. When you’re all cried out, Peter lifts you from the plush carpet as Bucky saves and closes your laptop, setting it carefully on the desk as Peter tucks you into bed.

“It’s okay, Y/N. We’re all here. We’re all okay.” You’re nodding against your pillow, not knowing how he knew what you were sobbing over, these five days finally hitting you.

“I got her, kid. Go grab some water and some aspirin for her from the kitchen. Get an apple or banana too, she’ll need something on her stomach when she gets up.” Peter nods eagerly before squeezing your hand twice and disappearing from the room. “Want me to stay?” You manage a nod as he kicks off his boots and settles against the headboard. You turn to face him, reaching out for his metal hand, watching a sad smile flit across his face. “Get some rest, doll. I’m gonna stay right here.” He brings your hand to his lips, gentle and soft on the back of your hand. “Not going anywhere.”

An hour later, when Steve and Shuri are looking for Bucky, they find him sleeping slouched to one side but still mostly upright, with your hand wrapped firmly around his vibranium one.

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[PART 3]

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Tagging: @jewelofwinter @sgtjbuccky @jaamesbbarnes @thewhiterabbit42 @nobodys-baby-now @unleashthemidnight @stay-frosty-royal-unicorn @chelsea072498 @clockworkmorningglory @sakurablossom4 @marichromatic @blondecoffeecake @ourloveisforthelovely @whinywingedwinchester @feelmyroarrrr @rowdyhooliganism @everythingisoverrated @iloveyouthreethousand-o6 @puddinsqueen @emotionallysalty @maraudingmarauder

A/N: Found the pic online and edited it, props to Google and all rights/privileges/ownership goes to who took the photo and to Marvel who made up all these characters.

[szopenhauer]

Would you ever chew gum after someone else already has? noooo, yuk

Earrings or a necklace? necklace

Have you ever wished on 11:11? I do smth else/have different tradition

Have you ever listened to the Goo Goo Dolls? Iris, even recently

Have you ever watched Lost? nah

Do you have pictures of your exes? I think I deleted them

Do you have Ozzy Osbourne on your mp3 player? I don’t listen to him but I liked to watch Osbourne’s family tho

Do you read romance novels? the only one I could count as a romance was Five feet apart

Did you draw pictures for your crushes in preschool? no :o

Have you ever not asked someone out cause you were scared of rejection? yep

Have you ever liked someone just because of their appearance? had some crushes like this, especially celebs lol

Pink or green? green but pink with green looks interesting

A bracelet or a ring? depends

Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter? LOTR

By airplane or bus? bus

What’s the last thing you binge watched? She-ra

Do you watch youtube videos or tv shows more? yt videos

What are you tired of right now? everything

Have you ever gotten rid of something and then regretted it? If so, what?  several things, personal

How does your stomach feel right now? silence before the storm?...

Do you live in an apartment that has inspections? I don’t live in an apartment

Do you hate taking naps during the day? yes and no

Who in your immediate family has the best natural hair? my grandma has, she never got grey hair nor dandruff etc.

Do you know anyone who thinks they’re more talented than they are?   obvi

What is the origin of your last name? polish?

Have you ever been inside a Victorian mansion? I wish

What was the most boring field trip you ever went on? hmm...

What are your favorite types of videos to watch on youtube? music videos, thrift hauls, interiors, fashion, funny stuff...

What’s a DIY craft project you want to try? I’m not into DIY

Are you a hoarder? yep

Do you ever call yourself stupid in your head? often

If you were to start a collection, what would it be? not counting those I already have? for example - znicze

Would you ever give your daughter the middle name Marie? I could, especially if it was a boy :P as it’s legal to call him Maria if it’s the middle name lmfao

Do you have a relationship with God? some sort of it

Have you ever “fired” a doctor? could say so

Who is the prettiest Asian youtuber that you can think of? I don’t watch any Asian youtubers

What was the temperature where you live today? less than 30 Celsius but it felt colder

Is your sleep schedule all messed up? umm...

Did you wear green last St. Patrick’s Day? I don’t celebrate this 

Food: Are you adventurous or do you stick to what you know? stick 

Do you know both of your biological parents? I do

When was the last time you wrote so much your finger ached? last night

Do you store a lot of pictures you’ve taken that no one else has seen? ppl close to me saw them

When did you first start using the internet? regularly or very first time?

Do you prefer tents or staying in hotels? prefer hotels

Do you have any family traditions for certain holidays? Which? personal

Do you enjoy clowns / street performers or are they creepy to you? some I like

Have you ever had a teacher who would just babble about nothing? for example - we had a priest who was always talking about war times or his night dreams :D

Do you ever look at a word and think that it looks odd? hahaha it happens

Did you ever dream about being an animal? plenty

Which vowel occurs most in your whole name? A

What’s your favourite colour on a dog? dunno

Do you prefer Skirts or Dresses? dresses, I can use them as tunics

Have you ever been told you are fake? once :(

Can you do cartwheels? not well

Do you like the name Sara? no longer...

What’s your first name without an r, e, s or l? doesn’t change

What’s your age plus two divided by 4? 7.5

Do you know someone named after a month (April, May, June)? used to know May

Stop typing. What do you hear? someone is mowing grass as every other day ugh...

What was the last book you read that also is a film? Five feet apart

How often do you get a new purse or a new wallet? whenever I feel like it but I thrift them so it’s not like I spend lots of money

What is the most money that you have ever spent on getting your nails done? few PLN for a nail polish and done them myself lol

Does it matter to you if your girlfriend drinks? I wouldn’t date an alcoholic, someone who is drunk a lot and then do stupid stuff, pukes, have hangovers often, spend all their money on alcohol, smells like it, gross!

Has a little kid ever fallen asleep on your lap before? nah, just cat

If you heard your best friend’s significant other was cheating on them, would you tell them? Even if you couldn’t prove it? I’d mention that to them

Do you plan on having both your parents at your wedding? if they want to attend...

Have you ever stayed on a ride at a theme park to ride it again? nope

Where did your mother and father meet for the first time? in front of the church

Would you rather read books or magazines? depends

Have you ever had your cheek pinched? I hate that >.>

Do you own any plaid pants? I have a pair of plaid leggings and pajamas

Do you talk in your sleep? nah

Have you ever fallen off a horse? never been on a horse to fall

Can you pick things up with your toes? I do this often

If you are a girl, do you get bad PMS, or is it not so bad? my PMS were usually worse than my period

Would you rather have your shirt be too long or too short? too long

Are you the type of person who can shake insults off easily, or do they tend to stick around in your brain & bother you? stay forever

Do you like clothes with ruffles on them? usually not

Were you happy when you woke up today? I wasn’t

Have you used the opposite sex’s bathroom in a public place before? had to 

Do you rent movies frequently? I don’t have money for that

Do you quote movies or songs to answer survey questions? very rarely as it’s annoying

What is your name spelled backwards? Annazuz :3

How do you think the world will end? people will destroy it?

An alien ship lands at your house, and they want you. Do you go with them? 

If you were in a horror flick, would you be one of the first ones to die? I think I would survive or die saving someone

What movie has been taken WAY too far, as far as sequels go? most of them but it’s more shows’ thingy

Do you get a fake Christmas tree each year, or a real one? fake, I’m against using real ones

How long would you have to know someone before tying the knot? it’s not about length of time that much

Would you embarass yourself if you met your favorite celebrity? probably :x

If a person had a glass eye, would that scare you? no idea, hope not as I don’t wanna make them feel bad, sorry in advance

Are you a twin? am not

Do you get paranoid that someone’s looking at your through your window? my neighbor sometimes does so...

Mountains, oceans, or forests? forests

When was the last time you “de-haired” your hairbrush? recently?

Are any of your great grandparents still alive? they’re all dead

Where’s your significant other? visiting her dad

How much blankets do you sleep under? 1-2

Is a hair dryer a necessity for you? it is

If you were atop a tall building, would you throw stuff at people below? don’t do that!

Do you believe we really landed on the moon? I don’t give a shit

Name a movie everyone else thought was funny, but you couldn’t stand: majority of comedies tbh

What topping do you HATE on pizzas? same, I’m more into simple food

Got any interesting wigs? bunch

Can you resist temptation? most often

Would a credit card get you into trouble? if I lost it, I would be paranoid about it 24/7, omg I just got scared I’ve lost my ID and bus card 

Truth or dare? truth?

Which is more annoying: sequels or prequels? *shrug*

Do you use rechargeable batteries? when I did they were blowing up, didn’t charge back or smth like this so I prefer normal ones thank you very much

Describe the chair you’re sitting in. Is it comfy? it's so old there’s barely anything left to sit on but I have no cash for a new one nor can get that kind of chair anywhere so... 2 pillows under my butt have to be enough

What would you do if you thought someone was following you? try to lose them

[imbringingexyback]

Trans ask-thingy

I should have really seen this coming when I made @a-chilleus​ do all the questions earlier :’)

1. what is your gender? nonbinary, transmasc. I would say male but the lack of fucks I give about having a dick makes me question it

2. what are your pronouns? He/him or they/them. He/him mainly as its easier for people to use

3. what is your gender presentation like? In a word. Gay. I love dungarees but also mostly wear super skinny jeans & floral/very jazzy shirts. I love rainbows & stripey tops as well as crop tops & cut-off vests. I don’t really wear any jewellery other than my ear piercings, ‘the one ring’ from LOTR that my Dad made & the flag bracelets I made (Trans, ace & gay)

4. what is your Gender Euphoria Outfit? Not sure really but a t-shirt/shirt that is loose enough to hide my hips & not feel uncomfortable but fitted enough to show off my frame. Probably black skinny jeans & one of my many floral shirts with my glittery gold brogues

5. what makes you feel validated? Being called the right pronouns, people seeing my as male/non-binary without any doubt about my identity (e.g. my housemate treating me just like she does her other male friends automatically because she forgets people see me as ‘female’, or people saying they could never see me as female). Also, people not being surprised by my femininity when inhabiting queer spaces as I’m just a camp guy

6. top five favorite parts of your body (n why you love them)? I like my hair as it was really blond but I like it now it’s dyed red & its still soft & fluffy. I like my freckles because they constantly multiply & are cute af. I like my eyes because they’re electric blue & so detailed with flecks of greyer blue. I like my collarbones as I like fiddling with them. Finally, I like my neck because although I want a deeper voice & stuff my neck looks cool in pictures sometimes.

7. favorite trans meme/bit of trans humor? I also like the very common trans names like @a-chilleus​ said. Me & my housemate have a joke where I loudly (& in a panicked tone) go “where is my dick?!!!” & act like i’m frantically looking for it because it makes us laugh. I just like most trans memes because they’re relatable and cis people don’t get them

8. how did you pick your name? Can’t really remember other than it being between Elliot & Robin & then me realising I really didn’t like Elliot cause its close to my deadname. I don’t really like Robin either so now I need to find a new one

9. what does your name mean? apparently it means ‘fame-bright’ & is of French & German origin

10. do you have any trans pride merch? I like it being called ‘merch’ like we’re a band! I have a trans-flag woven bracelet I made, a trans flag, a number of gender-related t-shirts including the Stonewall one & ‘Gender does not define a dragon’ & a fuck tonne of pronoun badges & pin/enamel badges

11. recent happy trans moment? Meeting Esme (@a-chilleus​) & talking trans stuff with them whilst on camp & then just like hinting to our friends Gareth &Lizzy that I was a raging tran by showing them pictures where I have a trans flag around me & being in the men’s changing-room with them. Like honestly that was so freeing cause we got to educate our (very accepting) cis friends on some memes & hard shit & I got to overshare so much 😉

12. favorite trans headcanon? Trans Peter Parker. It makes so much sense to me & I’d love the representation.

13. favorite canon trans character? Non-binary Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens) is fully cannon as they’re angels & I’m still in love with it! Jake in Tales of the City is an awesome trans character too & I love him

14. favorite trans blog(s)/trans blogger(s)? definitely @a-chilleus​ because they have the same interests as me, @born2jasper​ because Jasper is my best buddy at uni & when he does blog it’s cool shit

15. favorite trans celebrity? Oh my. Fox Fisher does amazing work for trans activism & they’re a cutie. Elliot Fletcher I’ve been a fan of since he was regularly on a trans youtube channel & now hes been in TV shows & repping the trans community. Laverne Cox of course. Indya Moore for their no-shit attitude.

16. song that gives you Big Trans Feels? Wrabel- The Village, is literally about being trans & having no-one in your family accept you but it being “something wrong with the village” rather than it being about you being wrong. It was written after Trump did all the shit things to trans people. Literally the line “it’s a lie though, burying disciples, one page of the bible isn’t worth a life” makes me cry cause of all the trans people who feel like there is no light at the end of the tunnel for them. The music video left me sad but it’s an amazing song

17. something you wish you could tell your younger self? You’re not broken, & your friends have your back & will accept and love for who you are, not who you pretend to be. Society is gonna fuck you up but you’re stronger than you think

18. what would your Ideal Fashion Look be?

i mean i’m living my idea fashion look tbh

19. (how) does your gender relate to your sexuality? Just makes me gayer but I’m still ace so…

20. do you have a comfort item? Blankets mostly at uni cause I snuggle under them/with them cause that helps my sensory overload calm down. Big comfy jumpers are good for when I feel like hiding my body

21. what makes you feel euphoric? When strangers call me ‘he’, when dogs like me, when I’m accepted into a new group as ‘one of the lads’. When I look more masc face-wise (if that makes sense)

22. what genre of media would you love to see more trans characters in? all genre’s tbh as there is a lack in every genre. But definitely fantasy & action. I’d love to see a bad guy get slapped with a packer to distract them because the trans hero had nothing else to throw :’)

23. claim something as trans culture. Walking around going ‘masc masc masc’ or ‘lads lads lads’ is trans culture

24. give some love to your trans friends/mutuals (alt: give some love to the trans community in general) I’ve tagged the ones I know mostly but to every trans person who sees this. YOU’VE DOING SO GREAT, YOU LOOK GREAT, YOU’RE VOICE IS WONDERFUL. YOU ARE SIMPLY KILLING IT!!

25. what’s your favorite part of being trans? Tbh the memes are pretty solid. But honestly, it’s the community you find in each other when you need It, it’s the joy of finding out someone else you know is trans, it’s the celebration of the little &big things together. I especially enjoy knowing there are people that get why I have to triple check that I’m flat before going anywhere, the cis friends who will go into men’s bathrooms with me to scope them out & just the re-defined masculinity & femininity.

[purplesurveys]

425

What website is it easy to spend too much time on? Reddit. I’m pretty easy to please - I just go through the Popular tag and I can stay scrolling for a straight hour. What's been bothering you lately? This one class with the horrible instructor I’ve been ranting about in my last few surveys. It’s 12:54 AM and I do NOT want to be thinking about it rn. Do you ever get cravings for cheese? Never. My stomach doesn’t go loco for cheese so I don’t actively look for it. Do you ever crave affection? All the time, but just with my girlfriend. I don’t like being affectionate with other people, like leaning on their shoulders for too long. Would you name your baby after someone or give him/her his or her own name? For a boy, I’m planning the name Owen at least as a second name, as a tribute to Owen Hart. For a daughter, I don’t really have solid plans yet...probably Ava (for Ava Gardner) and Audrey (for Audrey Hepburn).

Do you think boys can wear pink and girls can wear blue? Anyone can wear any color they want. It’s 2019, I thought we’ve been through this before? Which hair curlers have you had the best luck with? None of them. I don’t use hair curlers. What is the best way to curl your hair? Umm I’m not sure but the flat iron thingy that looks like tongs usually works. Idk what I’m talking about because I only ever get my hair curled by other people and only for special events haha.  Don't you hate it when people act like idiots just to make you mad? Did you mean, college groupmates? If you were thrown into a lion's den, would you trust God to save you? Welp, I lived a good life. Do you wish you could call the police on the police? OMG yes. Philippine police are a joke. Do you write in cursive or print more? Print. I have to write hurriedly when taking down notes in class, and I realized that my cursive is really ugly if I have to scribble quickly. Were you alive before the Internet came out? Nope, the Internet was already well alive when I was born. Do you like that trends from the 90's are coming back in style? I do. I wasn’t conscious then so it doesn’t give me that ~nostalgia vibe, but 90s fashion highkey slaps nonetheless. ...or would you rather have the trends stay the same as the last decade? Last decade’s trends were so awful...denim on denim, bell-bottoms, skirts and leggings in one outfit, low-waist jeans, boot cut jeans, cropped vests, dresses and pants...we do not talk about that time. What was a horrible trend when you were in high school? I think the trends took a turn for the better when I started high school. All I remember are rubber bracelets/armbands/whatchamacallem, but those were in 6th and 7th grade. What is a horrible trend now? Anything from Forever 21 that has some dumb print at the back that says something like “I hate everyone.” What would you do differently if you were God? Oh no, I wouldn’t exist. Have you ever met anyone who claimed to be God? Fortunately no. Do you believe there is any hope left? Outside the country, yes. Inside this country, very little. Do you hope that everyone is held accountable for their sins? Can I like, skip the Christian questions...ty If you had to leave the US and never come back, where would you move? Well firstly I don’t even live there. Secondly, Canada or Australia. Would you buy a castle if you could afford one? No, I don’t see the need for one. I’d rather get a swanky, fully-furnished minimalist square house. What is something you aren't okay with? Animal abuse. Do you know anyone who isn't fake? Sure. Name five people you know who aren't fake. I don’t feel like it. Do you fully trust anyone? My girlfriend. How many true Christians do you know? Do you know any? What qualifies as ‘true?’ Do you think someone's value is based on how much money they have or make? Not at allllll. There are so many billionaires who are also the biggest assholes. Would you rather be an aborted baby or a victim of child abuse? This is a horrible, tasteless question. What's one trend you're behind the times on? Anything rap, anything A$AP. Do idiots act like know-it-alls a lot around you? Hahahaha they do, actually. Do you think it's ok to call an idiot an idiot? Only if they turn into a blatant asshole, but I think being respectful still takes precedence for the most part. If you had a child with down's syndrome, would you keep him/her? I think I would, but it would honestly worry me a lot. I’d want that child to get the best care 24/7 and I know I’d never want to leave them behind. Don't you wish people who weren't qualified would stop getting handed leadership positions? Lmfao, this is deadass the PHILIPPINE GOVERNMENT. There is absoltutely no fucking one qualified on those seats right now. So to answer your question, I give you an absolutely exasperated yes. Who is the worst plagiarizer you know? Honestly every guy groupmate I’ve had have been useless and lazy. It’s very easy to tell if they simply got an entire paragraph from a website. If someone tried to murder your child, do you think it would be wrong to expose them publicly and talk about it on social media? No. I say expose them. It’s so much easier and quicker to get things done that way. Why do you think people think this is wrong? They could argue that it’s not the proper venue and that authorities should be addressed first before anyone else knows, but I’m honestly all for shaming the suspect and making sure the story makes the rounds. Probably the journalist in me. Is there a toxic person that you miss? OMG no never. Good riddance!!! Are you still contemplating going back to someone you shouldn't? I haven’t thought about the person for as long as I can remember. What do you need right now? I need to get work done and catch up on work, but I’m soooo absorbed in my one-week break that it’s hard to get out of bed :( When was the last time you had a new crush? I’ve only had one crush and that happened five years ago. Do you know any "Christians" who are rude and judgmental? All of them, save for like two people. What would you do if your Bible was falling apart? The Bible I had to use for Catholic school (because we had to read it everyday throughout grade school and high school) was worn out. I think I just stored it in the storage closet when I went off to college or something. Do you have coffee with Jesus every morning? This is a creepy question. Do you pretend to be someone you're not on facebook? Why or why not? No. It’s unnecessary. Do you know anyone who pretends to be a Christian to get attention? I don’t think so. Do you want Jesus to come back soon? OMG WHEN WILL THIS END Do you believe that Jesus is going to come back in your lifetime? NO Would you rather wear blue jeans or jeggings? Jeans. I don’t think I’ve ever owned jeggings. What is the most comfortable type of pants ever? Culottes. They don’t suffocate your legs and they give them air instead. What is something you can't wear because of your body type? XXS flowy spaghetti straps/tanktops/sleeveless tops still look large on me. Would you feel self-conscious if you wore a girls size 12 as an adult? I’m not sure what that means ahaha oof. If you have curves, do you like them? What is the curviest part of your body? My butt. Have you ever been punished for doing the right thing? Not that I know of. How often do you cry? A lot. I’m quite the crybaby. How many Christians do you know who actually care? Is Tumblr all that it's hyped up to be? Not anymore, but it’s still fun to hang around here. At what age do you think someone is old enough to give advice? Any age is good enough as long as it’s accompanied by experience. Have you ever worn matching pajamas with someone? Nah my girlfriend and I don’t have those. What helps you fall asleep? Scrolling on social media, having the AC on. Do you have a nighttime routine? No, I just lie in bed and go on my phone until I pass out. What was the last mountain you climbed? Never climbed any yet. Who is the fakest Christian you know? OMG I’m begging you to stop Who are the fakest friends you've had? Wahahaha ez question but I’m not dropping their name here! Who's the most narcissistic person you know? GAB (not my girlfriend, it’s another Gab). Who gives the best hugs? Gabie :( And Laurice. Who was the last person you hugged? Gabie.

[nightshadedawn]

This is a link to my Slavery!AU. And it’s actually kinda interesting?

Basically, I followed a prompt that said “ When you save someone's life, it becomes forfeit, and they're forever in your debt. Effectively, this means that superheroes are some of the largest slave owners on the planet." And I ran with it. 

But I’m also not continuing it, but there’s a lot of world building going on here, so I wanted to share it. Keep reading for the world building.

Things I wrote about in the notes:

- Toshinori is Izuku's dad. Inko was saved by him early on in his career and he's been supporting them both from far away to keep them both safe. He has not seen them in years due to his hero work. - Izuku still got One For All, but didn't yet know that All Might is his dad. - Izuku managed to get Katsuki into UA by taking the tag off the collar and fashioning it onto a bracelet. Neither of them will get into trouble for it (at UA), by the order Izuku gives that Katsuki will only be free if Katsuki saves him. - Both end up free, but Katsuki doesn't leave because LOVE. - All Might's Servant community is fucking fantastic. - All Might has more slaves than Endeavor, because his main focus is making sure everyone is safe while Endeavor focuses on beating the bad guy. - The idea of slaves, and slave holders, is not not weird or looked down upon because they have grown up with these laws. They're not perfect, and some wish things about them could be changed, but in the end no one directly wants them GONE. - Illegal slave holding is still punishable by the law. Like kidnapping someone and selling them into slavery.

Thing I wrote about in the comments:

Q:  With heroes saving so many people, it kinda feels like the majority of the population would be slaves.

A:  That's where the direct saves come in. Take the episode with Mt. Lady for example from early in in the first season. Those people gathered to WATCH the fight, but weren't in any life threatening danger. So she wouldn't have aquired any slaves. However, All Might, who saved hundreds of people in his debut, did. A good portion of the population being slaves though, would likely keep a surplus of heroes happening.

Q:  Do you know what would be the extent of slave-owning? Would the government object if a master chose to kill their slave/s?

A:  - Basically, a Master could likely use their slave for anything and not get in trouble. However, slaves are STILL human, therefore, if a master were to kill their slave, they would be put on trial. Their punishment, if they received one, wouldn't be as harsh as it would be if it were a free person. Judges, after all, are humans as well with their own opinions on slave owning and their bias would likely filter in.

Q: Does the concept apply to the whole world, or is it just a thing that happens in that particular country?

A:  - It applies to the whole world. It's basically something ingrained in the people by that point.

Q; Is there no way for an owner to let go of their slave/s?

A:  - Kinda like the Katsuki/Izuku thing, there can be arrangements made. Some could go the route of "Seven years complete servitude to me and you go free" or "Do this and you're free". Some people on the more wrong side could go the Beauty and Beast approach and do something like "in exchange for [family member], I'll give you your freedom". However, unlike the slaves in this world, most of them are pretty well off. Because of it usually being people high in power who become Masters, they take care of their slaves (like All Might does). And the only things slaves really CAN'T do is go into positions that would enable them to easily save people.

Q: Also, (this is going to be complicated) let's say a master has multiple slaves. If one of the slaves attacks the master and another slave saves said master having planned this as a mutiny together, does the slave who saved his master become the master himself, or are they now back on equal ground? And if it gets found out that it was indeed a mutiny, does having saved the master's life still count?

A:  - I think that it would only really count if the one who saved the master wasn't involved in any mutiny plots, because otherwise they would be part of attempted murder. If they just wanted to transfer power, there was no real need for him to be saved in the first place and therefore no transfer would happen.

Q: If a master with multiple slaves become a slave himself, do they still get to keep their own slaves, do they lose them, or are they transferred to the new owner?

A:  - I was actually thinking about this as well. It'll probably depend on the writer. If you have slaves prior to being saved, then you can probably keep them. It just becomes a hierarchy thing and your slaves end up with two masters. But it probably depends mostly on the writer, as said before.

Q: If someone pregnant is saved, does the slave-owning apply to her baby as well?

A:  - Another good question. As slavery doesn't pass on to children, but the woman is pregnant... This is also likely to depend on the writer as well. As an unborn child is still a person, I would believe that yes, you've just obtained two if you saved a pregnant woman. But probably only if she's so far along. Some maybe don't see babies that way? So, it all depends there as well.

Q: If someone is a slave and gets saved a second time by a different person, do they become a slave to both of their saviors?

A:  - I don't think so. The second would likely just be compensated for the rescue of the slave.

Q: Are slaves/masters obligated to keep in contact with their slave/master?

A:  - They're not. But most Masters keep their slaves close to keep an eye on them in case they DO want something. But in case they don't, this is where the collars and bracelets come in. The collars have the name of their owner on the outside while their name is on the inside (I imagine this to be a little slip on thingy, I can't recall the name of), and it has a tracking device in it. The bracelets have the Master's name on it while there's a bar code under it. Take a picture of the bar code, and all the slaves under this master pop up. With this page of people, you can find out just about anything about them, including address and number, so you can give them an order. Many hero masters keep their pages locked with passwords so their slaves aren't in danger from getting hacked.

Q: What are the governmental repercussions of not following orders from owners?

A:  - There's not a lot, honestly. Depending on the severity of the order they disobeyed, they could end up with a fine or light jail time (at most, two to three years). But most of the punishment for disobeying orders falls on the Masters. But say if Master ordered their slave to not tell anyone about something illegal they were doing, like smuggling, but they did get in trouble and their master was caught, there wouldn't be any repercussions. - So answer the question you're probably wondering now- if a Master is put in jail for anywhere upwards of two years, the slave is free.

This commentor didn’t split up the questions up like the previous one, so most of it will be in a block of text.

Q: All Might submitted izuku's DNA profile to the police for his collar before the rescue, which made the whole mess involving Izuku and the slime villain moot. Would they check if the rescuer is related to the one they rescued in case of unknown connection? When the profile came back with paternity to All Might, /could/ All Might have been his master if Izuku is his kid? Or would it have been become null void anyway because parents are expected to save their child? What about people in positions of protection like police officers or teachers? Obviously Heroes are some sort of exception, but does CPS have a stack of slaves of their own from getting children out of bad situations that risk their lives?

Also in your notes you say Bakugou would be free if he saved Izuku and only Izuku due to him making some sort of special deal, I'm assuming in that case both would be free? And not that ownership would simply transfer over to Bakugou; it would be a 1-1 situation?

What would happen in situations where it was a coordinated rescue like the Bakugou rescue Arc? Todoroki made the ramp, Izuki kicked off, Iida kept them moving, and Kirishima actually grabbed him. Would none of them get ownership because it took more than one life to save the life, or would it go to Kirishima for actually grabbing him, or draw a lots or something?

What would happen if someone who's already owned by somebody else is rescued? Would the second person be able to get some sort of renumeration for saving the property of another?

A: - "The second [savoir] would likely just be compensated for the rescue of the slave." - So I haven't actually gotten there yet? Almost, but I haven't gotten to Bakugou's rescue. If we're speaking along the lines of Bakugou wasn't yet a slave, then it would either be Kirishima or none. Because if Kirishima hadn't grabbed onto him and the rescue failed, well, yeah. But if he wasn't actually in danger of DYING (as I said, I haven't gotten there yet) then they wouldn't get ownership. - "Kinda like the Katsuki/Izuku thing, there can be arrangements made. Some could go the route of "Seven years complete servitude to me and you go free" or "Do this and you're free"." So, yes, they'd both be free. Izuku could have told him to do the easiest thing possible, but that would have been insulting to Bakugou, and this way, things will still likely work out. - The direct saves come into play here. If I hadn't added that rule, they probably would. But... it takes a lot of work. There needs to be evidence. And who would get ownership of the child? The one who reported the situation? CPS? It would get too complicated. If it were reported and CPS walked in at the time of the child being hurt, then they'd likely end up with ownership. Otherwise, the child is still free. - Under heroes, police workers and firefighters and doctors are the largest slave owners. Teachers... I feel is almost a long shot. A teacher steps in front of a shoot to save one of their students? If they survive, likely. Other than school shootings, teachers would likely have to act as any other would to obtain a slave... - On the All Might things... Um, good question? Parents are, mostly, exempt from being Masters of their children. Heroes, however... Ones light All Might, who doesn't show his real image to the public, would have to take Izuku on as his slave even with the knowledge of who he is. In this way, he'd also probably be protecting him... If by unknown connection, you mean blood relation, eh, it's a bit iffy. People could occasionally become Masters of their siblings, though not all that common. Here, I think it depends on who write the story. If by connection you mean if they knew each other and were friends or something- no one really cares.

Q: How young is a child exempt from slavery, are they exempt even as babies? If a 2 year old is being babysat and the babysitter sees there about to stick a fork in an outlet and grabs it at the last possible second is that enough? Because I could see daycare workers, especially when new quirks are manifesting having saved more than a few kids. Kids are dumb. I mean, teenagers are dumb too, but at least they can differentiate between fantasy, reality and what's going to maim them. Usually. If someone's dying or injured badly enough they could die and you step in to heal them would that count? Because if that's the case Recovery Girl would probably own Izuku in under a week.

I kind of wonder what happens if you save someone who's a slave owner. I can't remember if that was mentioned. Like Izuku and the others saved Native. Native was a hero and so might have had some slaves. Obviously I'm ignoring the whole publicly they couldn't acknowledge fighting Stain thing, but if Izuku was deemed as having done the saving because he called the back up and fought Stain in the meantime while he was making a concerted effort to stab the two, and he'd said he had no interest in killing Izuku so he could have just walked off, and all that would he get Native's slaves or would those slaves go free?

For the unknown connection I was mainly thinking of if the person didn't know that they were a parent. Like say a hero screwed around way back and ended up rescuing their own kid years later that they didn't know about. Would the fact that they thought that they were saving a stranger making a difference either? Would they do DNA checks to make sure something like that doesn't happen or was the DNA simply to have it on file in case he tried a runner?

If all of the collars have to be in his real name, and he's the person with the most slaves in the entire country, I'm guessing his real name is more or less an Open Secret at this point. Just saying. Which would actually be pretty funny if the person who (hopefully) takes this up ran with, though that might be hard to justify. If it's so easy to let those under your control free, does All Might pick really simple little tasks so he doesn't have so many? Considering his personality and the risk of his name being out there, you think he'd want to get rid of them as fast as possible.

Also if the name of the owners on the collar and his mom is owned by him, why doesn't he recognize the name Toshinori Yagi? Does she hide the tag or do they make little tag covers or something so they can't be read by people you're interacting with? Is it a classist thing to hide your tag if your owned, like if you're above a certain class you never go out without it covered or the opposite? Any other cultural effect to tag hiding even if slave themselves aren't look down on?

I think you mentioned that Izuku's mom and him lived comfortably because of her owner though the way it's phrased it might just have been because he was Izuku's father, how much taking care of does the owner actually have to do? Can they just ignore them, or are they required to give them a stipend or see to their housing? Is Izuku now required to go over and interview Bakugou's parents and make sure his needs are being taken care of? Because while hilarious I think that might be awkward.

A:  - Okay, so, with the daycare thing, very little of those children would likely end up slaves. Even babies are not exempt from the laws, but toddlers can get into a lot of mischief. However, if it's not reported, then no one does anything about it. Most daycare workers probably don't want to take the small children away from their parents, or be sued by angry parents for letting the children get into near death experiences they needed to be saved from in the first place. So they probably don't report it. There's a lot of "would be" slavery that goes on but doesn't actually happen because both parties decide to act like it didn't happen. - "I was actually thinking about this as well. It'll probably depend on the writer. If you have slaves prior to being saved, then you can probably keep them. It just becomes a hierarchy thing and your slaves end up with two masters. But it probably depends mostly on the writer, as said before." To add on a bit to this idea, I feel almost as if some of the things UA does helps to weed out students so there aren't so many. Because in the entrance exam, Izuku saved Uraraka... I think that's a bit off topic for this question. - The DNA is mostly for those who try to run and forcefully escape slavery. It doesn't matter if they're related, to those who make the collars and bracelets. But if the hero finds out, they'd likely make a task or something for the child to do. - Those who ARE his slaves know who he is (and Izuku, because he basically prematurely spilled the beans). But because most all of his slaves live in the same community, they aren't too badgered about it. Most outsiders leave it alone, because while the world knows it's "All Might's Space". Sure, someone could infiltrate it, but it's not like it's big lettering on the collars. It's average and mostly blends in. It's made so it can be easily seen up close. Those he can't trust with his secret- maybe a convict or something- he likely would set them free. But those he needs a reason to justify taking care of- like a kid who's got no home, or abusive parents, he'd move to his little community where they don't have to worry about it. Because they basically know that if his secrets gets out and he's sabotaged, everything good goes away. (Though, an open secret would be interesting, if played right) - On another note- the reason why Inko doesn't live in the community is because a) she could be trusted, and b) she was pregnant with All Might's kid and he thought they'd both be safer if no one made any connotation to him. - Izuku likely didn't recognize the name because he was freaking out too much. If he'd gone home and told his mom, she would have spilled all the beans about knowing everything and right then and there would have probably contacts Toshinori and went all Mama Hare on him. (Yes, I call her Mama Hare because it's a pun and Izuku's hero outfit makes him look like a bunny) As for the social effects of a collar... Well, some places would likely consider them liabilities due to the fact their master could call them away at any time. But given a trial run, they'd probably get a job if they could perform it better than any other. The tags on collars are removable, so some people make stylized ones, and for those people they're an accessory. For someone who was saved by a hero or the way they're saved is cool, they're proud to wear it. Some people do hide them, because they're ashamed. Or the reasons for being saved are shameful. It's not strictly illegal to take the tag off and put it on another accessory- like Izuku makes Katsuki's into a bracelet- but the repercussions of claiming to be something you're not can be troublesome.

- All Might takes care of all of his slaves, but even if he hasn't spoken to her in years for her own safety, he's particularly fond of Inko. The master is not obligated to take care of their slaves, but they're usually looked down upon and guilt rides up if they don't. If they really so wish it, they can just ignore their slaves. Some could, during the presenting of the collar, say "I never want to see you again."

If anyone has anymore questions, feel free to ask. I love world building. And if you would like to make anything for this world, please share it with me! I’d love to see it! But I’ll go for now. This is my contribution to the world of AUs in the My Hero Academia fandom.

[indigo474]

God Bless the Queen~9822

the Queen of England died. the world will watch her funeral. My co workers son died. i was more upset when i heard he had cancer. when they said the cancer spread to his lungs i knew he was going to die. life is fucking cruel-unfair.

my waxer said it looks like i lost weight.. she sees me naked every 4 weeks and she said she could tell. she started waxing everything from my belly button down. i'll never get use to having hair ripped out of my body.. ouch- luckily the pain only last for however long it takes her to rip off the wax-2 seconds

maddy likes school!! she seems happy. she did not want to see her counselor - i am making her. she says she feels better- yes- all the reason to keep seeing her. afterwards she said i was right and she was glad she talked to her. i write her a little note every day and she said it is the highlight of her day. she brought up how she hasn't talked to her dad since march- hasnt heard from him. she also shared her sister no longer talks to her. we talked a lot and she says her dad is telling her siblings that she is mentally ill- like me. she says she heard him say it. it hurts my heart- it hurts my head and it just fucking hurts. he is evil. he gives no fucks about these kids. a user and abuser. he plays the victim- it is all so sick. Anyway we talked and talked and talked- Mads wont reach out. She does not want to. I told her that the best thing both of us can do is live a great life. Do the next right thing and work on ourselves and be happy and just live a great fucking life- prove him wrong. Be happy- something he will never be. he never was and he will never be happy. once you see him for what he is- you cant unsee it- he is so predictable. Mads told me she smoked pot - and got really really paranoid. she said she hated it. Good Good Good. I told her that's what she gets for smoking weed.

i dont know how i am going to survive this winter with work. Im going to work from home a few days- i havent told work yet.

im learning how to kayak this weekend. I missed the moon lite kayak thingy.. it sold out- next spring fo sho. im going to lock myself in my room and clean it. its not dirty like dirt dirt- clothes.. i have to get rid of stuff- organize and also set up my work computer.

there were bones along the Delaware... i don't know what kind. a guy at the park told me he saw a snake.. thanks.

i am tired- a good tired. ive been sleeping well. i feel good. i went out with Marci for dinner this week. i enjoy our time together. Dinner was delicious. Vegetarian- i have no idea what it was- it tasted good.

Freaky Tinder guy - i said i wouldn't meet him, said i would meet him- i do kind of remember him from long ago and i didnt think he was attractive - he wants his girlfriend to be involved and im not into that. so why would i entertain the thought of meeting him? boredom-

not a good reason to meet .. also i keep thinking he is going to poison my drink- like wtf- who thinks like that.. i guess i do

i had this bracelet- one of the kids- birthday party grab bag- a gum ball machine- i have no idea where it came from. tiny beads. it had a gold peace symbol hanging from it. i decided to wear it until it broke.. and it did. it exploded on my desk at work. it reminded me of fireworks- beads everywhere. it made me laugh while i was on the phone with a customer.

what are we doing here? what are any of us doing? what is the purpose of all of this? i wish i knew.. and ive been thinking a lot lately about why people talk about getting older like its a bad thing. or rather why i dont think getting older is a bad thing.. lots of thoughts on that.

[eldritchsurveys]

200.

Have you had any beer this week? >> No. Are you happy with life? >> I’m glad to be alive, and sometimes I even feel the emotion of happiness. But generally I’m neutral with life right now. It’s not exciting or hectic or stressful enough for me to have an actual feeling about it. Could you cry right now? >> Nah, I can’t do that on command. Even when I’m depressed I don’t usually just cry. Are you a jealous person? >> No. What were you doing this morning at 7am? >> Sleeping.

Where have you lived throughout your life? >> A bunch of places. All in the US. Where was your default picture taken? >> ---

Is there anything silver near you? >> I don’t think I can see anything silver from here. Do you wear contacts? >> No. Song playing right now? >> None. Where were you last Friday night? >> We went to Cafe Boba like usual and then came home. Do you wear the seat belt in the car? >> Yeah. Has anyone ever mistaken you for someone else? >> That has happened with greater frequency than I’d ever expect. Next vacation you’re going on? >> The trip to NOLA next month is technically not a vacation, but for me it still is. What’s the closest blue object to you? >> My Black Panther blanket is mostly blue (and grey and black). Do you like the color orange? >> Some shades. Sometimes, do you wish you were someone else? >> Sometimes. What is the weather like today? >> Sunny! I’m glad to actually see my great celestial love today. Was your last kiss sober? >> Yeah. Where will you be in a hour? >> I’m not sure. I don’t know exactly when we’re leaving to go out. Have you ever kissed someone whose name started with a J? >> Yeah. Whose bed did you sleep in last night? >> Sparrow’s. Have you held hands with anyone in the past week? >> No. When was the last time you talked to one of your siblings? >> --- Do you want any piercings? >> Sometimes I think I do but mostly I think I’m happy where I’m at. What is one hot beverage that you like? >> Tea. Do you have any relatives who are expecting a baby really soon? >> --- Chapstick or lipgloss? >> Lip balm. Do you ever get a headache after you have just cried really hard? >> Yeah, which is part of the reason why I avoid it if possible. Who is the fifth person on your missed calls list? >> All my missed calls are people calling for the person who had this phone number before me, who for some fucking reason hasn’t changed the number with all her doctors and shit. How the fuck. Have you ever had sex at a beach? Is it all that great? >> Finding a beach that is secluded enough to even do that kind of thing at is near impossible in NYC in the first place. Secondly.................... sand. Where do you live? >> Bleh. How many grams of carbs, approximately, have you had today? >> Uh, however many carbs were in this little Special K pastry thingy I just had. Do you sleep in socks? >> Hell no. What’s your mouse pad look like? >> The one on my desk that I use for my gaming computer is a Pillars of Eternity Deadfire one, for participants of the crowdfunding campaign. Is the person you’re interested in, interested in you? >> Well, apparently. Do you find your job rewarding? >> --- What kind of cake did you have for your last birthday? >> --- Have you watched TV today? >> No. Are you shorter than 5'5"? >> I am 5′5″. Do you smoke cigarettes? >> No. Is your birthday in a winter month? >> No, spring. Do you have siblings over the age of 21? >> --- How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now? >> Zero. Are you embarrassed by your school yearbook photos? >> I don’t remember them now, first of all, and second of all I can’t even bother to be embarrassed about something that benign and irrelevant. Do you know anyone who acts like a know-it-all? >> Yeah. Fortunately I don’t live near them anymore so I don’t have to put up with it. Is there a band you like that many others dislike? Which? >> Well, there’s Creed. There are probably plenty others, because I like a lot of bands. To you, which is better: English muffins or bagels? >> I like both. Have you ever skipped school just because you were tired? >> No. I didn’t have the ability to do that. What is the last non-alcoholic beverage you had? >> Iced tea. Your honest opinion: high school, best or worst years of your life? >> For me, pretty damn bad. Do you actually care about the way you dress, or do you not give a fuck? >> Yeah, I care. I mean, if I didn’t care at all, I would... just wear rags??? Or burlap sacks??? Like, people care about the way they dress, they just might not necessarily care about how they look to other people. Be honest; name of the last person to text you? >> Sparrow. Do you currently have any hickeys? >> No.

[klanced]

K so. Remastered Kevin Kogun would be alien-alien (which I love and support) but what do u think that entails for his overall design/appearance?? If he is Galra/shapeshifter he could have multiple forms but like, what about his human hologram/appearance thingy or like a base Galra form? ?? My input is he should be a floofy Galra and that is all, plz and thx

OKAY, SO. (”Remastered Kevin” hsdkjghdksj)

Kevin’s appearance is something that’s actually a huge plothole because Canon Keith has no idea he’s part-alien, but AU Keith would have grown up with a brother who was purple in like. All of his baby pictures. Soooooo (I scramble). Hm. 

I’ll start with Mom.

Mom Kogane is 8ft tall, so jot that down!! She is also a mf BEANPOLE. Keith gets his slim build from her (but his height from his dad. Rip.). But she’s also strong enough to rip a school bus in half. Dad Kogane is a lucky man.

Tbh no Ma Kogane I could imagine would ever beat what @basedtaka has already drawn. I love that Mom. Dad Kogane is a lucky man.

I… I guess for this au Ma Kogane is part-Galra part-Chameleon because… Hm… Yeah let’s just go with it. She’s mostly Galra tho, or at least. The Galra traits are dominant. I’m very tired can we please move on. 

Regardless, she can shapeshift! Think like Allura, but her camo-tech boosts the effect and stabilizes it… for a longer time…? I don’t know alien technology man, but let’s go with that. 

However, her abilities can’t completely erase some aspects, like her claws and height and stuff. So she files her nails down to like. Reasonable lengths. And she sits in a wheelchair to hide how tall she is. It also makes the whole ‘gigantic while pregnant’ thing a little bit easier on her feet.

OK NOW ON TO KEVIN LEL.

Galra Kevin: As a baby he was the fluffiest thing ever. He also lost a hella lot of teeth (think like a shark), which scared the shit out of his dad lol. He loses most of this baby fur as he gets older, though :(

Kevin cried a lot as a baby because his ears are sensitive and they didn’t like the air pressure of Earth. 

He’s not as tall as his mom because Earth isn’t exactly the Best place for a Galra to grow up, and running away from home and living as a space vagabond also stunted his growth. He didn’t eat his vitamins :((

He’s only like… 6′5″ which is impossibly tall to me, but makes him only a little bit taller than Lotor lel. He also slouches a lot so you don’t really get the Full Effect until he straightens and then you’re like Excuse Me?

Keith peaks at 5′7″ and it’s sooooooo funny when they stand next to each other lmao.

Ma Kogane: My sons are so tiny. I have to train them to defend themselves.

Kevin isn’t 100% Galra because his mom is mixed and his bio dad was also mixed so statistically he comes out about uhhhhh… 50% Galra, 25% shapeshifting alien, 12% (insert alien species), and 12% (insert another alien species). 

Kevin’s eyes are yellow like the standard Galras, but you can see the faintest hint of pupil. His senses aren’t as good as the average Galras, but he does have better eyesight in return (no night vision though :()

I have no idea what his bio dad looks like so just imagine that Kevin takes after his mom lol. He prolly has some special attributes or whatever from his dad’s side, but I’ll leave this open-ended for now.

His Galra form is fairly similar to Acxa’s. He has naturally dark hair (though darker than his mom’s), and instead of the usual purple Galra skin his is more pink-tinted. His features are also fairly humanoid, but he has the standard heavy-ridge eyebrows as his mom/the other Galra. He also has the same ridge-thingy on his skull as Ulaz (which he hides underneath his hair). 

Human Kevin: Just… recolor his shit to make him look human. Initially his mom programs him to also look like the average human, but when he’s ~three he insists on looking more like Texas Kogane cause that’s his dad!!!!! He loves his dad.

So again, recolor him to make him paler (he’s darker than Keith tho) and have black hair instead of dark purple or whatever, but Kevin changes his eyebrows so they look more like Texas Kogane’s. Bold choice. It hides the Galra eyebrow ride fairly well though. 

Coincidentally, Kevin and Texas Kogane share the same natural eye color. What a coincidence. :>

Kevin’s teeth and fingernails are almost as dull as a humans, and when he’s older and in space a lot of Galra mock him for being born as “prey” (bc u KNOW the Galra have that whole “alpha apex predator” thing going on).

He’s like… a bunny. A bunny with a plan.

Kevin’s shapeshifting power is weaker than his mom’s so it’s fortunate his features only need a little bit of tweaking. His mom gives him a bracelet that helps him manipulate and stabilize his quintessence (or.. smth…) so he has a constant glamour going on, even if he isn’t focusing on it.

Obviously it’s better if he does concentrate because his teeth and fingernails are sharper than a human’s ought to be and people tend to notice, and his eyes also have a tendency to flash yellow. Or smth. He sounds like a cheesy OC, but that’s exactly what he is so hellll yeah.

He had a bowl cut when he was a kid because that’s the Asian curse. No escape!

I still think the idea of Keith having a punk older brother is funny so I’m gonna keep with my initial design of Kevin. He has a pierced tongue. He once got slashed across his right eyebrow and refused to bandage it because he wanted it to scar like his dad’s. He’s constantly shaving off most his hair, but he leaves the bit at the very top to hide his Galra ridge, usually leaving him with some dramatic undercut thing.

…………………. Teen Coran’s hair.

I’m honestly still wrestling with whether or not Keith knows he’s part-alien lmaooo. For now I’m gonna say that Keith occasionally dreams about his brother looking like a blueberry, but Kevin ran away when Keith was only five so Keith just assumes he’s misremembering things lol.

[katieamazeballs]

DWTS Tour Recap

I’m going to do this like I did SYTYCD. Most everyone has seen the dances so I’ll just tell you our faves then talk about the experience.

We left the house about 3:45 with a plan of finding the arena, finding our prepaid parking, scoping out the buses, finding dinner, doing the show, then standing at the bus after. (It is very important to know that while I have lived in Greater Jax for 34 of my 38 Years, I hate downtown and avoid it at all costs. I have no idea how to get anywhere and it’s all one way streets and it intimidates me so I just don’t do it.) We we’re following Siri and everything was wonderful and BAM!!! The street I’m supposed to turn on is blocked by police and I had no idea what to do because I have no idea where I’m going. So, much to Siri’s displeasure, I figured if I was supposed to turn left on this street, I’ll find another street that goes that way then turn once the roadblock is cleared. It worked out, we got there, and I saw the end of the roadblock about a block from the arena (also a very important detail). I found the arena to the right, the garage to the left, and holy crap.....that can’t really be the buses parked right there in front!!! The Landing (an always failing shopping center dining place) is right next door so we decided to just park and go for it. It was about 4:15.

We walked around the arena a few times with Abs stalking in the windows and we kept circling back to the buses while I checked Insta. All of a sudden the girls are posting stories walking over the overpass laughing about the roads being closed and I was like OH MY GOD!!!! They’re right over where that road block is!! I grabbed Abbie’s hand and we booked it over there. Right as we got to that corner of the arena (the other side from where the buses were) I saw them coming straight for us. I noticed Hayley and Morgan first. I said “Oh my god, Abbie!! That’s them!” She didn’t believe me until they got a little closer and she recognized Jenna. Her mouth dropped and it was adorable. They noticed the fangirling child waving and they came towards us as opposed to ducking their heads and heading past (Artem and Hayley......seriously though.....who intentionally ignores a star struck child like that?!?!). Jenna made eye contact with me, looked at Abs, looked back at me and her eyes got super wide and I know I joke about her reading here, but I swear she was like omg also.......it was probably a “damnit guys, I told you if you storied they’d find us” thing but I am choosing to believe she knew exactly who we were and was looking to me to say “you’re gonna contain her, right?”. We were both so star struck that we completely forgot Abs had a purse full of notes for everyone....whoops. She hugged both of us and told us she was glad we could come and asked if we wanted to take a picture. Both Abs and I were still in shock so sadly, we didn’t get to talk to her much other than telling her how excited we were to meet her. Next up was Morgan and Sharna. I went over and gave Morgan a big hug because I sometimes feel like with her being the new girl that she doesn’t get the fans like that. I gave her her cards and she grabbed me for another hug and told me thank you so much. Then I looked over and Abs was talking Sharna up. She can’t remember what they talked about but had given her her cards and Sharna asked me if I wanted to take a picture. She yelled “jump in here, Morgs” and I got all three of them. Then I jumped in and gave her a hug and told her I was a huge fan and she squeezed me and did the shoulder scratchy thingy and made that noise and it’s every bit as amazing as you think it is!!! Next up was Emma who was bringing up the rear of the group and had so very nicely waited for us so we could say hi. When Abs saw her she just lost it. She still doesn’t know why she cried and I honestly think she was just so overwhelmed at seeing those three faves that she got emotional. Emma was so freakin sweet comforting her! Gah! I love her! Abs has made Ruby a bracelet and put it in Sasha’s card so she dug it out and gave it to Emma. Emma was so sweet she grabbed her for another hug and told her Rubes would love it. Abs had asked both Em and Shar where Alan was and both said they had no idea and they hadn’t seen him all day.

We walked back towards the buses and she was looking at the pictures and I looked up and Alan was standing by the bus going through his suitcase. I said “Abbie look!” She was staring at him mouth wide open and he waved. She. Lost. Her. Shit. I told her to go talk to him and she was rooted to the spot and sobbing. He saw that and dropped his clothes he was holding, moved the security fence, and rushed over in his socks and sweatpants to comfort her. I was so busy grabbing the stuff she had just dropped that I didn’t get them on video but he was so sweet to her. She told him he had sent her a video and he told her Sgt Snippins showed him her response video and he might as well have just asked her to marry him. I took a few pics then he asked if she wanted to take “normal one where we could see her face”. She declined but let up her grip a little so he could breathe and I took a few more. Then I hugged him and told him thank you for being so gracious and for the video and he said he’d do anything for his fans and winked at Abs (yes, I revived her after she died). He gave her another hug and went back to his suitcase and went inside.

We went around the front of the buses and Brandon and Sasha were there. Brandon was spray painting his sneakers (yeah, you read that right) and Sasha was coming out of the bus. Brandon is adorable, btw. She gave both of them their notes and we chatted with Sasha because Brandon was on a white shoe mission and didn’t want us to get hit with the spray paint. Abs asked where Ruby was and he told her she was inside. She was telling him how funny she thinks he is when Emma came out of the arena to tell Sasha that his food was inside (they were all bearing food for those that weren’t with them) . She ran over and gave us hugs again and asked her if she’d seen Alan yet because she had told him that an awesome kid named Abbie was looking for him. I swear, she is the sweetest. Other people had found us by then (we had private meetings all that time) so we walked away to give others a turn. We saw Gleb walking over. I pointed him out and Abs took off running yelling his name and security chased her down....it was freaking hysterical even though he ended up ignoring the crazy short blonde.

She called my mom and I uploaded the pictures for y’all and then Alan and Jordan came out of the arena jogging away. He blew Abs a kiss and waved, Jordan pretended he was invisible. At this point the other 6-7 people came from where they were talking to Emma/Sasha/Brandon and we were comparing pics and chatting. We were the only ones who had met any of the others, including Alan. After about 15 min Alan and Jordan came jogging back up. Alan was on the phone and Jordan again played invisible. We hung out for about 10-15 more minutes and it was about 5:45 Abs we figured that at this point everyone was inside for good and we went next door and got dinner.

Now the show. It is, of course, amazing!! Y’all know that. My favorite dances were the Haylan + Brandon dance, Jenna and Alan’s dance, the entire Disney section, and the dance Keo and Linds do in his sparkly red suit. Abs loved all the Alan dances (duh) and the funny dance Esha does. She also loved Disney and got misty eyed during the Esha engagement dance. Frankie is absolutely hysterical and just as terrible of a dancer as week one....but he’s just so damn loveable and funny!!

After the show we headed back to the buses. The security guy came out and told us that everyone probably wasn’t coming out because some of them had plans and had to leave at about 10:30 and that he’d let us know when no one else would come out so we didn’t just stand there. Morgan, Sasha, Alan, Sharna, and Keo came out to greet fans. I chose to not take pics with Morgan and Sasha because there was a large crowd and a time crunch and we had already taken pics. Abs got them to sign her program though. Alan came out and ran over to us and gave her a hug and congratulated her on keeping it together this time and asked if I wanted a pic since she had some. Next came Sharna and she also remembered us because of Abs shirt and hugged us and asked if we loved the show and signed her program and our makeup bags. She told the guy next to us he had to figure his own phone out because she doesn’t do technology 😂. Keo came by last. He took his sweet time with everyone and was so nice! The guy next to us was telling him he hopes he gets a better partner and Keo balked and said he loves his partners. A couple of us said we loved Charo and he said she was his favorite. Abs misunderstood Charo as Sharna and said “Oh, she’s over there”. Y’all.....the look of terror that crossed his face was absolutely hysterical. He goes “what?!?! Where?!?!” While looking for his escape route. I said “No! She thought you said Sharna”. Keo took a breath, regained his coloring, and yelled “cuchi cuchi!”. Abs asked if he had seen Linds and he said that at this point, everyone is exhausted and in need of privacy and that a group goes off to do things each day and the rest spend time alone so they honestly don’t see each other if they’re choosing to not do the group thing that day. At some point during meeting everyone, 2 cars drove by behind us one laying on the horn with Jordan yelling “Hey Guys!” from the backseat. A little bit later the guy came back out and told us everyone else had gone in those cars and that he was so sorry if we didn’t get to meet who we wanted. Abs was bummed about not meeting Linds, me about Hayley. We asked the guy if he would give the rest of our notes to the cast and he must have because by the time we got home Jenna had liked my insta post, Alan my tweet, and Artem had posted my note to his story!!

All in all, it was the most amazing night and I’m so damn glad Abs and I were able to do it!

[secretagentspydetectiveninja]

Queen Cobra - chapter 3

Snake miraculous hero Alix? Rich kid bonding? Memes? It’s more likely than you think

Also on AO3 so you can read all of it in one place

Was “GUESS I’LL DIE” the appropriate response to being forced into wearing a dress?

It was hard to explain. Dresses were cool and all, they really were. They looked super pretty. It probably took a lot of effort to design nice ones, too. And people who actually liked wearing them were free to do so, they looked rad, everyone was happy, it was awesome, no problem.

But what was it about stupid, stuffy, rich people events that insisted on making people wear dresses no matter what? Even if they freaking hated it?

“Alix, can you stop being stubborn and just come downstairs already? Adrien’s waiting!”

She ignored her father and carried on sitting on the top step, picking the pins out of her hair and flicking them away haphazardly. It was nice of Scoot to attempt to put those in, or at least, it would have been nice if it wasn’t for the fact that she had told him not to do it, and then attempted to strangle him when he didn’t listen. It should just be common knowledge that forcing a tomboy to be feminine was inevitably going to result in someone’s death. Even Jalil knew to stay away during times like these.

Lucky him, he had too much homework and got to stay at home…

“Come on, we’re going to be late!”

Oh nooooo, what a shame! Too bad! She couldn’t stop herself from grinning, maybe a little evilly.

“Hurry up, will you?”

“It’s alright, I’ll go up and get her…” she heard Adrien saying, polite as always.

“Fine. I’m waiting in the car.”

Well, she had known she couldn’t stay here forever. But at least this way was better than that flipping teen movie thing, that – that thing, where the ungirly character got all dolled up and went down the stairs dramatically in her fab outfit, and it turned out she was Pretty™ and Secretly Girly™ the whole time, and was now Liberated™ thanks to a Makeover™ and the Generic Hot Dude™ suddenly Liked™ her! Because obviously that happened in real life too, of course, it wasn’t like maybe some people just couldn’t stand this kind of thing or anything, that would be way too sensible, wouldn’t it? People like Rose were cool and all, but not everyone could be like her!

She heard her father leave through the front door, then heard Adrien’s footsteps getting closer before seeing him get to the foot of the stairs. Oh right, so he was allowed to wear a nice comfy suit, was he?

“Alix?” He looked up at her, seeming surprised to see that she was just sitting there with what must have been a rather murderous expression. “Oh there you are, um, your father says we’re going to be late, so…”

She didn’t budge. Who cared if they were late? Not her.

He walked up the stairs towards her, sitting down beside her at the top. “You… you look…”

JUST SAY I LOOK PRETTY BITCH I DARE YOU…

“…uncomfortable.”

Oh. Well that was a lot more accurate. She looked over to see that he was frowning in concern.

“Uncomfortable is an understatement,” she said, hoping her voice didn’t sound as fiery as she was feeling.

“You don’t seem happy.”

“I would be happier if I was dead and buried.”

His eyes widened for a few seconds. Whoops. Maybe no more morbid humour around this kid for a while.

“You know,” he said, back to normal, “the modelling work I do, it wasn’t exactly my choice. First I did it to make my father happy. Now I’m only carrying on to stop the company going under. And a lot of people tell me I’m great at it, that I look amazing, things like that. And they mean it as a compliment. But it still hurts to hear it, because, well… it’s not me, I guess. They’re complimenting a lie, complimenting something I’m not proud of. Sure, maybe someone looks nice. But they’re always going to look nicer when they’re happier, right? Do you know what I mean?”

Heck yeah, she knew what he meant. In fact, she was pretty sure he was one of the only people who got it. Compliments for things you hated were never exactly real compliments, were they? No matter the intentions of the people giving them.

Oh, but you look so pretty, you should learn to appreciate it! You should wear dresses more often! Be nicer to yourself! Well maybe some people should just shut up sometimes! It was hard enough already being eaten alive by guilt that maybe your whole personality was just internalized misogyny or something, like everyone accused you of, when in reality it was just being different and wanting to be accepted for it!

For the moment, though, she was just pleasantly surprised that he had mentioned his father without bursting into tears. Maybe he was starting to finally come to terms with it.

Scoot flew out of the pocket that this cursed dress thankfully had, his little kwami tail shaking in fury. “Alix, you’re the one who’s supposed to be the emotional support! This poor boy has been through such a lot lately and you’re throwing a tantrum over wearing a dress, he shouldn’t be having to comfort you over this when–”

“I thought I strangled you,” Alix snapped, holding his tail to stop him flying around everywhere.

“Are you taking Scoot with you?” Adrien asked.

“Unfortunately. I have to take him everywhere in case there’s ever an emergency and I gotta transform.”

“Oh, interesting! And um, I actually remembered another question I had, I checked on the Snakeboards first but I didn’t find it, so… what’s your Miraculous? I know Ladybug’s is her earrings and Rena’s is her necklace, but Hawk M– well, my father, never really seemed to want yours.”

Now he was starting to look upset again, having to think about his father, though this time further along the mad end of smad. Alix lifted up the hem of the dress slightly and pointed at her shoes.

“Your… Heelys?” he asked, rather hesitantly.

“Yeah! Isn’t that cool? No way your rotten trash dumpster of a dad would have been expecting that.”

“The Snake Miraculous is certainly not Heelys!” Scoot said, breaking free of Alix’s grasp at last. “This foolish girl merely pretends, because she thinks it funny somehow.”

“Oh, fine. This is the actual Miraculous.” She pulled out the green thread that was interwoven between the pink shoelaces. “It’s usually meant to be a bracelet or something, ‘cause it looks like a snake eating its tail when it’s tied properly. But personally I think Heelys are way cooler than vore. So I just push it into my laces instead and just wear these shoes everywhere all the time. Good thing this dress is long enough to hide them, huh?”

Adrien’s face broke into a smile, for once in the history of ever. For a kid who the class often referred to as the living embodiment of sunshine, he sure was gloomy. To be fair he did have a reason to be gloomy. But at least he was smiling pretty genuinely right now.

“That’s really cool,” he said.

“Yeah, well I am really cool, and if you’re gonna be my friend then you have to accept it.”

“I definitely do!”

“Good!”

So they were properly friends now? Nice. Alix pushed the thread back into her laces, feeling the same kind of fuzzy happiness inside that she did when she bought new video games. At least now she didn’t have to pretend video games were her friends, right? She had a real one, right here.

“May I remind you two that you are going to be in a lot of trouble if you don’t go downstairs and to the car very soon?” Scoot drawled, looking far too smug. Alix just grabbed him and shoved him back into her pocket. She had practically forgotten that her dad was waiting for them in the car, probably getting more furious by the second. Oops.

“Come on then,” she said, standing up finally and trying to ignore how ridiculously uncomfortable she felt in this awful stiff dress. At least she didn’t have to wear high heels or makeup or anything, since neither her father nor Jalil were experts in those matters, and Alix sure as heck wasn’t. She couldn’t help wondering – would her mother have been good at that stuff? Would she mind that Alix didn’t like it?

No use thinking about it. She would never know.

They made their way to the car and got in. Her father didn’t say anything at all. Was he mad at her? Yeah, probably. Nothing new there. After what had happened to that pocket watch, he would never be happy with her again, that was for sure.

The event was boring, as always. There were lots of snooty rich people around, talking to each other about things that didn’t matter, pretending they cared about what everyone else had to say but secretly being more interested in the champagne they were holding. It was too warm in here with so many people. And wasn’t this supposed to be an art promotion event? Where the heck was all the art then?! This whole thing was just for the business people to network, that was all. Art clearly had nothing to do with it.

It took at least half an hour before Alix’s father let her and Adrien leave his side, by which point they were getting very sick of constantly being introduced to a lot of “influential” people who they were certainly never going to remember. Adrien was good at being polite, and had that charming smile and friendly voice that automatically made people seem to like him. Alix, on the other hand…

“You really could smile more, you know,” her father told her eventually, after yet another conversation with some boring rich person where she had spent the entire time silently sulking.

“Maybe I’d be smiling more if I didn’t have to wear this thing,” she muttered. “Now can me and Adrien please go get a snack? I’m genuinely losing brain cells right now.”

“But you won’t come back, knowing you, and you’ll end up arguing with someone who–”

“I’m starving and about to die of malnutrition, and anyway, why are you worried? I’ve got Adrien Politeness-Personified Agreste with me. He knows what to do at these event thingies.” She clung to Adrien’s sleeve and pointed at him. “Ta-da. No problems.”

“I am getting a little hungry,” Adrien added, still sounding polite as ever. Yes! Good child! She wanted to high five him, though that would probably ruin everything, so definitely not a good idea right now.

“Alright,” her father sighed. “But please, just don’t do anything… irresponsible.”

“I won’t, don’t worry, thanks dad!” she said, turning around and immediately Heelying off, with Adrien tagging along. Did Heelying count as irresponsible? Eh, whatever. It looked cool.

They hoarded a bunch of food from the snacks table, then headed towards the quieter, more open outer areas of the hall to feast in relative peace. If fewer people were around then surely they wouldn’t get bombarded with insincere introductions and flimsy business cards every two seconds. Plus, most people would hopefully pay no attention to two unimportant teenagers, not when there were plenty of other actually rich people around to go mooch money and favours from.

“How did my dad always cope, going to these kinds of events every week?” Adrien asked, shaking his head in disbelief. “It’s so stifling!”

“I know, right?” Alix wondered if she should change the subject. Talking about Gabriel Agreste was probably a risky idea in a place where everyone would be able to see Adrien cry, and knowing how stuck-up they all were, probably judge him too.

“At least he doesn’t have to worry about that anymore,” he continued, taking a bite of his sandwich. “And neither does my mother, I guess, wherever she is…”

Two things struck her at once. The first was that Adrien Agreste was actually speaking with his mouth full. Wasn’t that bad manners? Wasn’t Adrien allergic to bad manners? Was he really doing this?

The second was that she had forgotten that Adrien’s mother was “missing”, not dead. It had never really registered in her head. Would that feel worse than knowing for sure she was dead? Having some hope that somewhere out there, she might be alive, but you might never see her again?

“What is it with all us rich kids not having mothers?” Adrien continued, chuckling slightly, half of that sandwich still in his mouth. “Me, you, Chloé, we’re the no-mothers-squad…”

Did he just…?

“What?” he asked.

He did, didn’t he?

“Was that… dark humour?” she said.

His smile vanished instantly. “Oh, I’m sorry! I just assumed you’d be okay with it – should I not joke about that?”

“Dude, of course you can joke about that! I love jokes about death and tragedy and stuff, my favourite, honestly. I was just surprised to hear it coming from you, that’s all.”

He grinned, finishing off the rest of his sandwich. “I do have a sense of humour, you know.”

Oh, thank goodness. “So am I allowed to make really awful jokes now?”

“Yes please, I could really use some cheering up!”

“Awesome.” She cracked her knuckles. “First of all, I’ve been wanting to tell you this since the other day but I thought it was a bit too soon. So like, you know how no one knew who Hawk Moth was until Rena tracked him down, right? Well for a while me and Jalil suspected it might be our dad.”

Adrien let out a giggle, which he quickly tried to stifle. “Really? Why?”

“No idea, we just came up with it one day and then rolled with it. Though if he had really been Hawk Moth, that would be awful, because… well…”

“Because he akumatized your brother,” Adrien said quietly.

“Huh? Oh, not that. We just thought the idea of his moustache being fake was too horrifying to contemplate. ‘Cause like, Hawk Moth wears a full mask, right? And there’s no way that would fit over a moustache, so we were freaking out over it, it was wild…”

He was back to laughing again now. “That’s hilarious! Though I suppose transforming with the Miraculous might change your appearance somewhat anyway. I mean – does it?” He looked around a little, noting the few people nearby. “Uh, maybe I’ll ask more about that some other time.”

“Yeah. Good idea.” If he had more questions about superhero stuff, a crowded hall was probably not the best place to ask them.

“ADRIEN AGRESTE!”

They turned to see some generic posh-looking business adult person walking towards them. Who the heck was this guy? And what did he want? Alix had just been trying to have a snack and conversation with her cool new friend, she didn’t need some random stranger interrupting like that. Jeez.

“M. Durand, is that you?” Adrien said, his tone shifting immediately back into that polite, goody-two-shoes one he had been using earlier. It sounded pretty unnatural now, despite the fact that Alix was so used to hearing it.

The rich dude, M. Durand apparently, came to a stop in front of them and held out his hand for Adrien to shake, which he did. This guy was tall, really tall, towering over them. (Well, to be fair, everyone towered over Alix. But this dude towered over Adrien too, so he definitely counted as tall.)

“Good to see you again, my boy. How are you getting along?”

“I’m well, thank you, how about you?”

That was the most blatant lie ever. Adrien Agreste was certainly not doing well. Better, sure, but not quite well. And unnecessary conversations with boring people he obviously didn’t like was probably not going to help him. Alix wished this stranger would just hurry up and go away again so she could carry on making her sad friend laugh in peace.

“I had a little bit of a question for you,” M. Durand said, his eyes darting from side to side in a way that set alarm bells ringing in her head. “It’s to do with your father. If it’s alright to ask, that is.”

“Um… of course.” So in other words, no, but Adrien was too polite to say so.

“Ah. Maybe it would be better, since this matter is clandestine, if no one else were to overhear. Just to be on the safe side. It is what your father would want.”

That had been the total wrong thing to say, since she could sense Adrien standing up a little taller next to her.

“It doesn’t seem like anyone else is around to overhear,” he said, plastering that fake smile on his face.

“But…” M. Durand’s eyes flicked over to Alix for a split-second.

“So, M. Durand, what did you want to ask me?” Adrien said firmly, sounding more confident. But then she felt him secretly slip his hand into hers behind the folds of her dress, his fingers shaking slightly – he was nervous. Was that just because he didn’t like having to discuss things about his father’s business? Or was this dodgy rich dude giving him bad vibes? Because seriously, it was feeling a lot like the latter.

M. Durand frowned for a few seconds, looking down on them with an air that was less than cordial, before hurrying to make himself seem fake-friendly again. “Oh, I just wanted to know if you knew something about a certain possession of mine that your father borrowed. He was supposed to give it back to me but as he is currently unavailable, he hasn’t been able to, and I really need it urgently.”

“What was this possession?” Adrien asked, his grip on Alix’s hand tightening slightly. She was intrigued now – what was it going to be? A rad weapon? Some cool historic old-timey item that had luckily not been smashed to pieces by carelessness? Something illegal? Oh, please say it was something illegal, then she could totally go all Queen Cobra and arrest this annoying guy.

“A ring,” M. Durand replied.

Oh. A ring. That was lame.

Adrien was frowning, lost in thought. “Hmm, that doesn’t ring any bells… What does this ring look like? Do you know where he might have kept it?”

“The ring is just small and silver, no markings on it. Unfortunately I have no clue where he kept it, other than that it must be somewhere in your house.”

“I suppose I’ll have a look for it…”

“Thank you, please do. Let me know if you find it. Don’t tell anyone else, if that’s alright, anyone with enough wealth as my family or yours will always have… enemies. It’s better if people don’t know about this.”

Well, that was the most ominous, suspicious way of asking for someone to look for their jewellery. Hey, your dad borrowed a ring off me and I want it back, but YOU HAVE TO NOT TELL ANYONE BECAUSE IT’S A SUPER SECRET, BUT TOTALLY NOT DODGY AT ALL! :)

“I’ll make sure not to tell anyone,” Adrien said, his fingers starting to shake again. His palms were getting a bit sweaty too… ew. Alix was not used to holding hands with people.

“Excellent! Oh, and one more thing. If you do find the ring, do me a favour and don’t put it on. Trust me on this one. Just get it straight back to me, and I can sort things out from there. Got it?”

Adrien just nodded.

“Great job, kid. Keep up the good work!”

With that, the annoying dodgy guy turned and left. Straightaway she felt Adrien relax beside her, as if he had been tensed up. He loosened his grip on her hand a little but did not let go.

“Who was that pretentious creep?” she asked.

“A friend of my father’s,” he replied, and she was relieved to hear his voice go back to its normal, natural self. “Well, I say friend, but… it’s more like they worked together a lot. I don’t know him that well at all.”

“Well he seems like a loser,” she scoffed. “I don’t trust him.”

“Neither do I. I really don’t know what ring he’s talking about though, or why he wants it so much.”

“It’s the One Ring obviously,” Alix said, hoping this would lighten the mood a little. “He wants it for its power. You have to find it and take it to Mordor and drop it in Mount Doom before he steals it. And that’s why he told you not to put it on, ‘cause he wants the power for himself.”

Adrien laughed. “You know what? Considering how weird my life has been lately, I wouldn’t even be surprised if that was true.”

A little silver ring… something was vaguely registering in the back of her mind. It sounded familiar. It sounded important. But why? She just couldn’t figure it out. Every time she got close to an answer, it would just elude her again. Why was her brain trying to convince her that there was more to this ring, seriously? Was that just a really screwed-up sense of intuition? Or was it something that she knew, but just couldn’t remember quite right…?

“Alix? What are you thinking about?” He waved a hand in front of her face.

“My spidey-senses are tingling,” she said, narrowing her eyes.

“You mean your snakey-senses?”

“Yeah, whatever. I’m suspicious. There’s more to this ring story than just your dad borrowing it off dodgy dude and him wanting it back. I’m sure of it.”

Unexpectedly, his face lit up. “So are you gonna investigate?”

“Hmm, dunno. Investigating was always Rena’s thing. But it would be fun to go spy on that Durand guy and see what kind of evil, malicious thing he’s planning to do with this mysterious ring once he gets hold of it. Like taking over Middle Earth, or maybe making a horcrux.”

“You know, I didn’t realize you were that nerdy.”

“I grew up with Jalil, of course I’m nerdy.”

“So anyway, are you gonna–” he lowered his voice “–transform?”

She looked around. “Well obviously not here, since there’s like a million people. I’d have to go somewhere else, and then once I’m transformed, if anyone sees me they’re gonna ask what I’m doing here, and it’ll be a lot of effort and I probably won’t find out anything anyway.”

“Oh…”

“But dude, if you wanna see me transform, I’ll totally show you sometime.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, sure. I kinda always wanted to show off to someone about that, you have no idea how frustrating it is that I can’t just tell Kim that I could beat him up easy-peasy, like maybe he doesn’t take me seriously ‘cause I’m tiny, but I’m a freaking superhero and could easily snap his neck–”

She stopped when she realized he was looking rather shocked.

“I’m not going to actually snap anyone’s neck, I promise,” she said, a little more softly. “I just talk like that.”

He seemed a little more at ease now. “Yeah, I’m still getting used to that, I guess…”

“Anyway, you wanted to see me transform, right? I guess I could quickly show you if we can find an area where there’s no people around.”

“What, now?”

“Yep!”

Since he was still clinging onto her hand for reassurance, she simply pulled him along with her as she went Heelying off towards the corridors leading to the rest of this building, where there were probably fewer people.

This was one of those irresponsible, not-thinking-it-through things that she was doing right now, wasn’t it? Oh well, too bad. Being able to talk to someone other than Fu, kwamis or Jalil about superhero stuff was way too much fun. And maybe this would be encouraging for Adrien too, to inspire him, remind him that there was a superhero on his side no matter what!

It didn’t take too long to find an empty corner down some deserted corridor somewhere. Alix knew from experience that if they went too far into the building then they’d probably come across security guards telling them to go away and stop trespassing, so here seemed like a good place. There weren’t any security cameras around to spot her either. She let Scoot out of her pocket.

“You’re a fool!” he shrieked immediately. Nothing new there.

“I know that, but what’s the reason this time?” she asked.

“The Cat Miraculous is a silver ring.”

“Pffffff, no it’s not, it’s black. With like, little green dots on it.”

“There’s a Cat Miraculous?” Adrien asked, a huge smile on his face.

“There certainly is,” Scoot said, “and it’s silver. So if someone is asking for a silver ring that your father owned and that they want urgently, and they don’t want you to put it on, that sounds very much like the Cat Miraculous to me.”

“But the Cat Miraculous is definitely black, I swear!” Alix said, trying to think back to pictures and things that Fu had occasionally shown her. She never remembered the ring being silver.

“You really don’t know anything, do you? Anyway, that’s not the only reason you’re a fool. The other is that this is really a terrible time and place to be transforming. There’s no emergency, and it’s been long enough that you two had better get back to that main hall before you get into trouble.”

“I’m just gonna show him, that’s all. It’ll be quick.”

Scoot sighed. “Fine, but you are using the proper transformation words this time.”

“What? No way, those are boring.”

“What transformation words?” Adrien asked.

“Whenever this wretch wants to transform into Queen Cobra, she must say the words ‘scales on’ or ‘transform me’, at which point I will be absorbed into her Miraculous and she will be transformed into a superhero. But she refuses to use the proper phrases.”

“Fu said I don’t have to,” Alix said. “As long as the meaning is clear, I can say whatever the heck I want. Last time it was ‘snake me up inside’, which is pretty rad if you ask me. And the time before that it was ‘what’s good longboy’ which is possibly the greatest thing I have ever said in my life.”

“More like the worst thing…”

“Hey Adrien! What do you suggest I say this time?”

Surprisingly, he barely even needed to think for a second. “Wear Heelys to escape your feelies.”

Wear Heelys to…

She couldn’t help bursting into laughter.

“It’s one of my favourite memes,” he added, a strangely un-Adrien-like grin on his face.

“I never expected you to be someone who likes memes, wow…”

“What can I say? They meme a lot to me.”

“Did you just make a pun?”

Adrien nodded, his eyes sparkling. “I just think puns are kinda cool…”

“Dude, you are way cooler than I ever thought you were.”

“Really?”

“Heck yeah!”

“Aw, well you’re a lot friendlier than I ever thought you were, so–”

“Ahem,” Scoot said, floating up between them. “If you’re going to transform then I suggest you get it over with, because I have better things I could be doing than listening to your chaotic attempts at friendship. Like taking a nap.”

Well that wouldn’t do. Kwamis didn’t even need to sleep, for goodness’ sake. Alix finally let go of Adrien’s hand and took a step back.

“Scoot, wear Heelys to escape your feelies!”

A flash of light later, and she was standing there as Queen Cobra. Transforming right in front of someone was kind of weird – even with the occasional person who knew her secret identity, she still tended to do it in hiding. But the look on Adrien’s face was worth it.

“That was… that… you…”

“Awesome, huh?”

He nodded. “That was amazing! Like real magic!”

“And the most important thing is that I’m taller now. Still not as tall as you, but closer.”

“Well…” He looked up at the giant snake hood that rested over her head, casting a concealing shadow over her face and hair. “If you count that thing, you’re taller.”

“Oh yeah, good point! I’m finally taller than someone.”

“So how exactly do all your powers work? Is Scoot still there?” He sounded so excited, like a little kid in a sweet shop. Such a pleasant contrast to his normal depressing self.

“Scoot is luckily not there now,” she replied. “He’s fused with my Miraculous now, so he has to keep his mouth shut until I de-transform. He can totally hear everything though, so feel free to insult him.”

Adrien was staring down at the skates now. “So the Miraculous… is it like… one of those lines on the front of the skate?”

“I really should not be telling this to the son of frickin’ Hawk Moth, but yeah. That one right there is the Miraculous.”

He bent down to take a closer look. For a few seconds she was ready to throw out a kick and send him flying if he tried to take it. Not that he would, but hey, he was Hawk Moth’s son…

“So what are your other powers?” Adrien asked, standing up again. “Like your tail – that works kind of like Ladybug’s yoyo, right?”

“I guess it does.” She curled her tail up into her hand and turned on the hidden screen that was near the end of it. “It’s stretchy, I can move it however I want, I can feel it, it’s basically like another arm but without opposable thumbs. Oh yeah, and it has a phone on it too.”

“Whoa…”

“It also has retractable spikes, so if someone tries to grab it then they’re gonna be in for a nasty shock. Like this.”

Adrien watched in wonder as she suddenly sprung all the spikes out, the scales on the tail all standing up on end.

“So yeah. And I use my skates to go fast, and can super-leap really far, more resistant to damage, the domino mask can’t be removed, all the normal hero stuff. That’s how my powers work.”

“Wow… and what about your special power?”

“Uh, special power?”

“Yeah! Like Ladybug and Rena have! I was researching on the Ladyblog earlier, Ladybug’s is called ‘Lucky Charm’, you know, that thing. I looked for what yours was but it didn’t say.”

“That’s ‘cause I’ve never used mine.”

“Really? Why not?”

She took a deep breath. “It’s kinda… bad.”

“As in, deadly bad?”

“Sort of.”

She wasn’t really supposed to tell anyone about it. But then again, no one was supposed to know her secret identity, and that had gone down the drain…

“It’s called Venom Strike,” she said, deciding to trust Adrien for now and hope it wasn’t the wrong choice. “I can use it to… um… paralyze someone indefinitely.”

He was looking a little weirded out. Yeah, made sense. Venom Strike was apparently not the most destructive of special powers a Miraculous holder could have, but it still wasn’t anywhere as nice as Lucky Charm.

“There’s only one way to remove the paralysis,” she continued. “The Turtle Miraculous holder has to use their healing powers.”

“So that’s Master Fu,” he replied. Oh, so he knew Fu was an old-man-mutant-ninja-turtle? Or maybe he had just figured it out from seeing Wayzz back at Fu’s shop.

“Yep. Even Ladybug can’t heal it when she does her thing with the Lucky Charm, you know the thing.”

Adrien nodded. Everyone knew the thing. It was the power that Ladybug had to fix all damage, to heal all injuries, even bring back people from the dead. But it couldn’t fix venom paralysis.

“So that’s why I never use it,” she finished. “And now I guess I’d better transform back before someone comes along and sees me, ‘cause it’s been long enough. Scoot, scales off.”

Another flash, and she was back to normal. Scoot whizzed out of the thread on her Heelys and started grumbling about something straightaway, so she just put him inside her pocket. She really didn’t need to deal with his pessimism right now, thanks.

“Thank you for showing me,” Adrien said, looking genuinely pleased. “That was so interesting.”

“Well you’d better not tell anyone, or you’re getting a Venom Strike right to the face.”

“I won’t tell anyone, I promise. And if I do then you can definitely Venom Strike me.”

She smiled, but the thought of Venom Striking anyone at all was unpleasant. Especially Adrien. He was her friend now, right? She couldn’t help feeling protective of him. He was practically the last person she would ever want to Venom Strike.

“You’re honestly so powerful,” Adrien was saying now. “Even as a civilian you’re the quickest kid in our class, and as a hero you’re, well, a hero!”

“Heck yeah I am!” Oh, compliments… she could get used to this. Friendship, admiration, loyalty – this was the best mood she had been in for a long time.

“It’s a good thing you never got akumatized, or Ladybug and Rena Rouge would have had so much trouble dealing with you!”

Aaaaaaand the mood went straight back down.

“Hey, are you alright?”

It must have shown on her face. She tried to look normal again. “Yeah, I’m just… well, Miraculous holders can’t get akumatized.”

“Oh, well that’s a good thing then, right?”

“Haha, yeah, it is. Come on Adrien, we’ve gotta get back now.” She grabbed his hand and pulled him along towards the main hall without even thinking about it, ignoring his puzzled look.

She was a Miraculous holder, and she couldn’t get akumatized, that was true enough. But that wasn’t necessarily a good thing.

It didn’t mean that she had never wanted to be akumatized.

It would be impossible to ever forget the feeling of kneeling on the ground of the Trocadéro, holding the shattered remains of her family’s pocket watch in her hands, unable to stop crying, blaming everything and everyone around her and never herself, and most of all just desperately wishing Hawk Moth would akumatize her so that maybe she had a chance to get revenge, maybe she had a chance to get her watch back, somehow, something!

But she never got that chance. And since that day, the only birthday she never wanted to remember, things were different. The precious heirloom that had been entrusted to her was gone forever. Her father, despite saying otherwise, had never forgiven her. And once enough time had gone by for it to really sink in, she had never forgiven herself either.

If she hadn’t been a Miraculous holder, if she had been akumatized on that day… would things be different? Better?

It was too painful to think about.