#and look at that. im not as terrified anymore but in the off chance that my worst case scenario comes tru ill be Prepared

[thatsmeintheworld]

The best part abt being a paranoid emotional wreck is that I have a rly strong ability to ground myself bc ive been doing it for so long...I can be cool, calm, and collected I just usually need 10-20mins after the inciting incident

[boysbeware2]

all the old tptm girl journal entries w the new (if anyone wants to see them again and compare them)

please proceed with caution as many of these could be upsetting to read

disposable girl (jordyn)

(old)

i cant fucking stand this. i try so goddamn hard to make friends, to be attractive to people, to be even somewhat appealing to them etc etc. it never works. i thought it would get better the older i get. thats what i was told. guess what! i was fucking lied to!!! im alwasy left out of EVERYTHING i never get invited to shit and my own friends ignore me all the time. everyone looks at me weird. i cant go in public anymore im so fucking terrified of everyone. nobody fuckinf wants me, man. im so close to doing something stupid i feel so gross and ugly and dumb i should actually just die id be doing everyone a favor LOL

(new)

man, i havent been on here in forever. the internet is kind of dumb. what is there to say? my friend group celebrated our outpatient graduation anniversary the other day, that was pretty nice. we’re all trying to figure out housing stuff, nora’s been helping with that. freyja + mayra + kairi found a place already (how are they so responsible??) and the rest of us are trying to find places near them so we can visit more often. i never expected to have such a big group of friends. if you told me 2 years ago that i’d be living like this, i wouldn’t believe you. it’s still surreal to me. i’m not sure what i did to deserve them. same goes for my girlfriends. i don’t wanna say who just yet, we’re still figuring things out, but i’m just so thankful for them. i feel so lucky to have a second chance at life. i really didn’t believe people when they said it would get better, and then it did. how funny…..

irreverent girl (kairi)

(old)

I do not want God to see me anymore. I do not want anymore eyes on me. This is near unbearable. I have no one to turn to. My mother is in the church. Many of my friends are in the church. They would tell me to find hope through Christ. They would tell me to pray to Him. They would tell me that He will save me. He must not remember He made me, and if He does, He simply does not care. I know this is unbecoming of me, and I don't mean to be dramatic. I am simply depressed, nervous, and I cannot tell what's real and what isn't anymore. I know I'm supposed to hear God speaking to me, but I do not, and I am tired of straining my ears. I just want to see a doctor. I want some kind of tangible solution. I do not want to pray anymore. Praying hurts. I only do it when I am afraid, but I am afraid much of the time. I don't want to be unheard anymore. I do not want to hold out hope for someone who does not act like they're there. I am hurting. I am hurting. I am hurting. Belief is hurting me. The idea of God is hurting me. I need an out. I am hurting.

(new)

When I have a job and money and I can move away from my shitty Mormon parents

splitter girl (tahira)

(old)

theres something so broken in me thats beyond saving. so i dont know why i keep trying to be saved. i meant to kill myself when i was 18. i didnt. all ive wanted to do lately is kill someone or something. i havent. im too much of a pussy to plan anything concrete, no matter how much i hate everyone around me. no matter how much i get off to videos of people dying or how much i love cutting myself i cant actually take action against other people. i am fucking purposeless. i was born from evil and i will always be evil and i cant even live up to that. i hate myself i hate myself i HATE myself and the universe hates me too. i dont know what to fucking do at this point. i talked to one of my friends about wantingto die and they said smthn about hospitalizing myself. maybe. i dunno. i dont know what else there is for me/. my eyes are fucking burning from lookign at my computer for so long adn not getting any goddamn sleep. i am not a good person. i dont think i can be helped but i just dont wanna fucking keep goign to school and being around people and pretending like everything is norma;l. i cant keep doing it. what the fuck is wrong with me whagt happened. why cant i be loved or feel love for other people when did something change in me that switched the aggression and affection parts of my brain. im hyperventilating ill be back. maybe

(new)

getting myself onigiri from this one good boba place 2nite bc im 8 months clean…… its the little things~ ^^

fainéant girl (freyja)

(old)

i know i dont hate being disabled... i just hate being disabled in a society that makes existing difficult... but sometimes i really just dont want to be disabled anymore. i dont want my family to lecture me about how i could be helping out more, or how i should get a job. i dont want teachers to keep asking me whats wrong or the fuckin uni counselor to try to get me hospitalized. i dont want to be in so much pain anymore, to feel so exhausted that i cant even do so much as prepare food for myself, let alone do anything meaningful or fulfilling. its not fair. i shouldnt have to stay inside and sit in the dark all day,. i should be able to have friends. to talk to people and to go out with them and to feel like i am alive. its lonely and traumatic to suffer through this and on top of that no one around me understands, and they never fully will. i am tired of trying to justify my existence to everyone, to explain the pain that i am in and why i shouldnt have to experience it. i know the problem isnt me. i know i live in a world that isnt built for me. but if the world cant change then sometimes i truly feel that i should just stop living in it. my lifespan is already shorter than everyone else's anyways. what difference does it make

(new)

my qpps didnt seem to appreciate me playing Alien Kids Alien Rap for them. Do they even love me

caliber girl (nora)

(old)

唉～It is 3 AM and I should go to sleep but I can’t. I have a work zoom meeting early in the morning and I gotta hit the gym also because I haven’t done leg day in like… weeks. Oh well, it doesn’t even matter. My value is depleting but I don’t think I care anymore. The turnaround date for my code is also in a couple of days and I haven’t made any progress. I keep getting the same error and I’m too tired to figure out what’s wrong. I might get fired at this rate LOL(笑). If that happens, I think I’ll just consider ending it all. Not that anybody will miss me. God I sound so weak and pathetic right now. When did it get like this. How did it get like this. I’m sure I’ll be fine. I’ve been through worse before and this is nothing. Ugh, why is it so hard to breathe? My chest hurts and I feel like something is wrong but I don’t know how to make it go away. Should I call someone about this? No. No one is awake or around to help. I’ll be fine. I’ll just sleep it off. Shake it off… shake it off…

(new)

My Tamagotchi beeped during a meeting fml

chocolate box girl (morgan)

(old)

i thought i was doing better but i cant stop thinking about them. their touch, their interests, their smile, everything. the worst part is that i miss them, after all of what they've done to me. i was 13. i dont even feel justified calling it rape since our relationship was so muddy... they never yelled at me or was angry at me, they just got so sad when i tried to speak my mind, and got all my friends to hate me when we finally broke up. i never said no so i feel like im insulting actual survivors by feeling violated. i wasnt even trying to get into a relationship with them, it just happened... i feel like everyone around me wants me in the same way they did, even though im an adult now and i dont even try to make myself appealing. i wish i could trust people not to take advantage of me, and i feel disgusting and selfish for feeling like everyone has ulterior motives of getting me to fall in love with them, or worse. that's so self centered of me. i dont know how long i can keep doing this

(new)

girl help i cant stop looking at anime figures on japan yahoo auctions !!!!!

taxidermy girl (mayra)

(old)

I don't remember ever not having a sex drive, is that normal ? I was born and then it was all downhill from there, something happened to me sexually i think, I don't know what happened, because I don't remember much, but something happened and I was beaten for it and yelled at and my mother hated me, and now I am an adult and I try to have sex, and I'm not there mentally, even if my body is participating, I feel like I am in the past again, being beaten and yelled at . I want to keep trying, I want to have fun, to feel safe in someone else's arms, to reach the heights of pleasure, but my mind scares me so much, I haven't been able to eat anything today because I feel so horrified by my body . If I was good I would have been born as a nonsexual being, no parts, no desires, no instincts, a blank slate, too empty to be enjoyed . Do you know what it feels like, to have your mother tell you people want to sexually abuse you when you are a child, and then to be made fun of by your peers for being so ugly, to have your middle school and high school classmates joke about how much they don't want to have sex with you ? I am illicit and undesirable at the same time, I am everyone's last option, I am nothing and still too much, rotting deer meat on the side of the road . I wish I had been born as something beautiful and pure, I wish I could start over, that whatever that initial sin was had never been committed .. I want to start over

(new)

Went to a kink event the other night and everyone was so nice … The low lights were fucking with my vision so one of the hosts helped me navigate the place . I ❤️ you random disabled ally with a pup mask on

chemical girl (joy)

(old)

LMAOOOOO im too angry and miserable to be around. i think i just need to give up at this point because theres clearly like. something broken inside me that cant be fixed. that has 2 be it because i try to talk and i just sound cold, i try to make a joke and it comes out overly edgy and unfunny, i try to be like everyone else but its too much. i cant even be a collection of the positive traits i see in others, i try to replicate it and it comes out warped and wrong. im either fucking enraged or in abject misery or way too happy and nobody can keep up with me. the thing is i dont even blame them. i wouldnt want to be around me either. do u know what thats like? being someone you wouldnt want to know? i keep hoping that one day ill wake up and suddenly be normal, the mood swings will be gone and everyone will like me and i wont do stupid shit that pisses them off. but i know that day isnt coming. theres no hope for me and i want to say sorry to everyone who has ever had the misfortune of knowing me but i know it wouldnt do anything. theres nothing i could ever do to make myself right

(new)

i need to convince my gf to take me to Round One again soon

refraction girl (nataana)

(old)

i don't want to do this anymore. i'm going somewhere better

(new)

talked with my psych and i’ll be starting TMS soon, it’s some thing where they put magnets to ur brain and it’s supposed to treat depression.. trying to temper my expectations bc i’ve tried so many treatments that just do nothing for me, but i’d be lying if i said my hopes weren’t riding on this. i want to confidently say i’m glad to be alive. i feel like i’m getting closer to that

nurse parallel/machine girl (xiomara)

(old)

I am so excited... Tomorrow my experimental outpatient treatment plan begins!!! I'm beyond delighted. I have complicated feelings about my DID being in remission, but it's nice to feel stable enough to be in charge of something this big, and to not have terrible gaps in my memory anymore. I still don't remember everything that happened to me, but maybe I don't need to. At this stage of my life, I feel content. I can confidently say everything was worth it. I want to help others feel that way, too. I think I can.

(new)

I’m meeting up with a new friend tomorrow… I feel nervous, but it’s a good nervousness, I think!

[whatsk-poppinhomies]

Pairing : idol!Kim Seungmin x F!Reader TW : pregnancy ; unmentioned pregnancy complications ; Seungmin is a jerk ; Changbin is a really good friend ; general angst ; Word Count : 2.9k Request : AHHH THANK YOU!! im happy that you like my request🥺🥺🥺🤍 hm bang chan would be good! he’s my bias after all HAHHAH buttt honestly speaking, i’d more than love to read about seungmin’s, minho’s or felix’s too <3 take your time!!! A/N : Finally making Seungmins in the angsty skz dad series!! (If you all want to read for anymore of the members, let me know!!)

There was a distance growing between you and Seungmin, one that you attributed to his busy schedule and his lack of adequate sleep, the constant practice and promotions, it had taken a toll on him and it looked as though it were slowly starting to take a toll on the relationship as well. 

That’s why the little stick that you held in your hand felt more like a saving grace, it was something that would save your relationship, it would bring Seungmin closer to you. The both of you had talked occasionally about starting a family together in the future, and while it wasn’t that far off in the future, you felt like things would be okay. You loved each other, that’s what mattered. You hoped that maybe he’d get a couple days off to spend with you while you both processed the news together and started to plan things out, you were really hoping for that. 

He walked through the front door and before you could even open your mouth to say hi, he was walking to the bedroom. “Min!” You called out to him, and you heard the heavy sigh escape him before he turned around to face you, leaning against the wall and staring at you with no expression at all. “Aren’t you hungry? Have you eaten yet?” It wasn’t what was originally supposed to be said, but the way he was looking at you had you backing down almost instantly. 

“I ate with Hyunjin and Chan before I came home. I’m fine.” He grumbled, turning back around to go into the room, but you called for him again, desperate to hold his attention just a little longer, at least long enough to get out what you needed to say. “What? I’m really tired, Y/N, just say it.” 

He was so short fused nowadays, you weren’t sure what happened today that had him so annoyed, but you were hoping that the announcement would have him softening up. “I’m pregnant, Min…” You whispered, and even under his cold gaze, you couldn’t ward off the smile that crept to your lips and tugged at the corners. 

“Congratulations.” He mumbled, and your smile slowly dropped as you took a step closer to him, his lack of emotion was absolutely terrifying right now to you. “Did you tell Changbin already?” The question had you pausing, your head tilting to the side, wondering why he was brought up right now. “I’ll congratulate him tomorrow too.” 

“Wh-What are you talking about?” You quizzed, grabbing onto his shirt to keep him from walking away. “Seungmin stop!” You pleaded when he tried to pull away, your eyes already welling with tears as you tugged against his shirt once more. “What are you talking about… seriously…” You tried not to whine, but you couldn’t help it. This was supposed to be a special moment, but it was all spiraling down and you didn’t even understand why. 

“Stop fucking pretending just once!” He said sternly, grabbing your hand, and although his anger was palpable, his touch was still gentle as he moved your hand off of him. “I know what’s going on, and I thought that maybe, just maybe you’d finally be honest. I guess not.” He huffed, running his hand through his hair as he back stepped away from you. “I see the way you are together… I’m not stupid… I didn’t say anything… Because he’s my hyung and I tried to ignore it but…” His teeth gritted together as his eyes squeezed shut, his cheeks and his nose turning red as he tried to hold back his tears. “But I can’t ignore this… I fucking can’t.” 

You weren’t even given a chance to deny it as he brushed past you, heading right back out the door he had just come through. How could he think… How could he assume such a thing? You were devastated, you were furious, and now you were alone… Left on your own to raise a baby that you thought would put all the pieces back together. You just didn’t know how scattered those pieces were. 

///

Work was beyond awkward and the tension was excruciating for all the other members who had not a single idea about what was going on. The only person who thought he knew what was going on was Seungmin, but his frame of thought couldn’t be further from the truth. It didn’t help though that after he had walked out, you had called none other than Changbin to come over and talk to you. 

Bin was one of your best friends, and apparently that meant that the two of you were together, even though most of your conversations with him before all of this happened had been about Seungmin. Hell, even now your conversations were about Seungmin because you couldn’t stop thinking about him, especially now that his child was growing inside of you. 

Changbin knew what was really going on, and he was absolutely livid. He wanted to talk to Seungmin, but you were adamant that he didn’t. Seungmin would either figure shit out on his own and come around, or he just wouldn’t, and you knew that Changbin coming to him would only make things worse. 

“Did you eat today?” Changbin called as he walked through the front door, carrying a bag of take out in one arm as he pushed the door shut with his other. “I hope you didn’t because I got a bunch of your favorites and we’re gonna chow down!” He cheered, kicking off his shoes and running over to the couch where you were sitting. 

“Did you bring that one drink from the office? You know the one you had yesterday that you told me not to drink but I took a little sip and it was really good so I finished it and then told you that it spilled because you were wondering where it was?” You rambled on, taking a deep breath once you had finished the question, your smile so sweet as your hands clasped in front of you, but Changbins eyes went wide as he stared at you. 

“You drank it?” He squeaked, his bottom lip jutting out as he playfully pouted. You quickly apologized and his pout quickly faded, turning into a bright smile, pulling you into a hug. “It’s alright shmooks, big boy is just like his dad and can’t go without his americano.” 

At the mention of your son's father your shoulders slumped, your throat tightening. Any mention of Seungmin had you on the verge of tears, and Changbin quickly shook his head, running his hands up and down your arms to try to calm you. “I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have brought him up…” He quickly stated, his face getting closer to yours to make sure that no tears had formed yet. “I’ll bring you home one of the drinks tomorrow… Let’s just forget all about this, eat all of this very yummy and very expensive food, and we can rewatch your favorite movie for the fifth time in a row this week.” 

You snorted softly, rolling your eyes at the number he had given as you lightly pushed against him. “It hasn’t been five times… It’s like… Seven. And I’m going for eight, so pass me the remote and I’ll get it started up. Remember, take your bathroom break now because I hate pausing it.” 

“Pfft!” Changbin sounded, grabbing the bags of take out off the coffee table and placing them on the couch between the both of your legs. “Says the one who has to pause the movie every fifteen minutes to run to the bathroom.” He teased, and you quickly forgot about the Seungmin comment, mainly because you had to keep swatting Changbins hand out of your bag to stop him from stealing your fries. Having Changbin around was a nice way to forget about what a mess your life was right now. He was the greatest friend, he was like a brother to you, and you were thankful that even though you and Seungmin were on the outs, Changbin had decided to stay in your corner, to help you get through this time. 

///

“You never talk about Y/N…” Hyunjin said, the comment coming from seemingly nowhere, he himself came from out of nowhere as Seungmin made his way to the small cafe in the office, trying his best to avoid Hyunjins prying comments. “I haven’t heard you even mention her the past six months… That’s crazy… I haven’t seen her at the dorms either.” Hyunjin paused for a moment, and Seungmin quickly picked up his speed, hoping that he’d get away from his hyung before any more questions were asked, but Hyunjin started sprinting to catch up. “Don’t tell me you guys broke up… You two were the cutest! Oh man… No wonder you haven’t been smiling as much… Dammit. What happened?” 

“Oh my god!” Seungmin groaned loudly, coming to a sudden halt to whip around and face Hyunjin. “We broke up! Yes! I’m sure it was a mutual agreement considering she’s pregnant… And the kid isn’t mine… It’s Changbins and I wasn’t going to keep pretending that everything was okay and be a father to a kid that isn’t mine. Okay?! Does that answer all of your questions?!” He took a deep breath, shoving his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants as he started walking again, feeling Hyunjins presence right behind him, clearly following him still. “Look, I don’t care if you follow me… Just… Don’t bring her up. It still hurts to talk about her.” 

Hyunjin nodded slowly, but he was quiet, too quiet, and Seungmin knew that the silence meant that he was thinking, and he seemed like he was thinking a little bit too hard. His tongue clicked against the roof of his mouth as he shook his head. “It just doesn’t make any sense… I know you don’t want to talk about her but… She just doesn’t seem like she’d do something like that to you, and I know Changbin wouldn’t do that.” The last thing Seungmin wanted to hear were excuses made to make you and Changbin seem innocent, especially from someone who didn’t even know the full story. “Seriously! Seungmin, listen!” 

“No, I don’t think I want to.” Seungmin muttered, walking as fast as he could down the hall, but Hyunjin wasn’t the best at taking hints, especially when he felt like he had something to say. “For the love of god, will you stop! You of all people would know considering you live in the same dorm as him. She was always over there! Stop trying to protect them!” 

“You’re right! I do know, because I do live in the same dorm!” Hyunjin retorted, keeping up the same pace as Seungmin, completely passing by the cafe, now wandering aimlessly through the halls as they argued. “She came over all the time to talk to him about you! The last couple times she sounded upset… Saying that it seemed like you were pulling away and she didn’t know why… And Changbin told her that it was probably just the stress from getting ready for the comeback. They were like siblings, we couldn’t get them to shut up… And the very last time… Oh my god, it’s all adding up now!” Hyunjins eyes went wide and his mouth fell open, his hands gripping onto Seungmins shoulders. “The last time she came over, she was asking Changbin about how he thought you’d react if she told you she was pregnant. She said she wasn’t sure yet if she was… But Changbin said that you’d be excited… And she said… She said she’d take a test the next morning… And I haven’t… Seen her since… Oh… My… GOD! You idiot!” 

Why would Hyunjin lie? He had no reason to… He would gain absolutely nothing if he helped fix the relationship… That’s how Seungmin knew he was being honest. “Oh… Shit, what do I do? You’re a romantic guy, come on, help me out!” Now he was panicking. He didn’t know the first thing to do, especially considering he had been actively ignoring you for six excruciatingly long months. 

“Dude… This is way different than forgetting a birthday or an anniversary… You denied your child and then, on top of that, accused her of cheating and claimed the baby was someone else’s, and not just any someone… But one of the other guys! You can’t just buy her roses and be like sorry! This requires communication.” Hyunjin patted Seungmins shoulder with gritted teeth, wincing ever so slightly. “Good luck.” 

///

Changbin stood in your kitchen, your apron wrapped around his waist as he worked on making lunch for you. Neither he, nor you, were expecting any guests, which is why he was so confused when he heard the rapid knock at the door. It was probably another package, you did enjoy doing online shopping for the baby when you couldn’t sleep at night, and the delivery man probably knocked so hard to get someone’s attention. It was about to rain, and a soaking package was the absolute worst. 

He didn’t bother to take off the apron as he rushed to the door and threw it open, his hands already outstretched to receive the package, but all he got was the view of a very nervous Seungmin. “So… This is… Where you’ve been all week…?” Seungmin questioned as he looked Changbin over, eyeing the pink ruffled apron before moving his eyes back up to meet his hyungs. 

“Yes. I’ve been helping her, and I know what you’ve been thinking this entire time, and I just want you to know that you’re wrong. I might be able to be cordial with you while we’re working… But I’m pissed…” Changbin said, flexing his muscles in the doorway as if to block Seungmin from getting inside. “You need to go now, she doesn’t need this kind of stress.” 

Seungmin refused to move though, he refused to leave, standing like a statue on the front porch as he glared at his hyung. “What are you? Her dad? Just move, she’s carrying my kid, I have the right to see her.” He tried to push past Changbin, but it proved pointless against the much stronger man who simply pushed him back with a sarcastic chuckle. 

“Oh, so now you accept the fact that it’s your kid.” Changbin snarkily retorted, closing the front door as softly as he could behind him before leading Seungmin off the porch to stand in the middle of the yard. “You don’t even know what she’s having. You don’t know what her number one craving was during the entire pregnancy. You don’t know how much she cried… How much she still cries over you… You don’t know anything and now you just decide to come back six months later? You’re a little too late, Seungmin.” 

“Why…? Why am I late?” It was a question that Changbin hadn’t been expecting, but Seungmin needed answers, he needed any and every answer he could get right now. “Are you two… Together? Is that what happened? Is that what this is? Huh?!” His voice was gradually growing louder, and Changbins hand shot out to cover Seungmins mouth, much to the younger man's surprise. 

“See, that’s your problem. Even now, you just can’t let it go.” Even though his voice sounded calm, his physical demeanor showed just how stressed, just how angry he was. “You’re like my brother, I’d never do something like that to you… And she’s literally like my sister… I love her and I care about her… And I care about the baby… Which is why I can’t let you in right now. She’s not doing well, and she can’t handle the stress.” 

As if on queue, dark clouds rolled in across the sky, completely blocking the sun as the rain started to come down. It didn’t even start as a drizzle, it went from clear skies to a complete downpour in an instant. “What do you mean she’s not doing well? Just… tell me that much… Please… Is she going to be okay? Will the baby be okay?” 

“I wish you cared this much six months ago…” Changbin muttered, running his hand through his rain soaked hair as he sighed heavily. “I have to make her lunch… I’ll tell you about it later, I’ll call you.” And it wasn’t like he was being given any other options, his only choice was to go back home and wait for Changbins call. He just had one more question. 

“Hyung…” Seungmin called out as Changbin walked up the stairs, causing him to stop at the center of the porch, not even turning around. “Is it a girl or a boy…?” 

“It’s a boy…” Changbin answered softly, the answer being carried to Seungmin through the wind that whipped around him from the storm. He said nothing else as he went back inside, leaving Seungmin to stand alone in the center of the yard. 

A son. He had always wanted a boy, he had talked about it with you before during one of your late night conversations when the two of you were barely even conscious, but his mind had run wild with dreams of the future, of holding his son for the first time, teaching his boy to play baseball in the park and taking him to baseball games to cheer for his favorite team. Now those dreams were as dark and hazy as the clouds that hung above him. All he could do now was wait, wait for a call, wait for an answer… Wait for you just as you had been waiting for him. 

[suckerforblondeathletes]

Its you, it always has been - Caitlin Clark .2

Caitlin Clark x teammate reader

Summary: Caitlin shows up to Kate house to get reassurance from her friend. One thing leads to another she confronts Connor and confesses.

Warnings: Connor, cheating?, Kissing, hinting to sex

Authors note: This is ass but enjoy!

“Damn what happened to you” Kate says with a laugh as she opens the door wider to let Caitlin in. She hasn’t seen Caitlin look this shocked in a while. It has been two days since the Connor and shower incident. Lets just say y'all woke up together..

“Am I gay?” Kate laughs out loud at Caitlins words. “Oh my god Caitlin, I don’t know.” Kate can barely get the sentence out from all of the laughing. Never heard her friend say something like this. “KATE I FUCKED ONE OF OUR TEAMMATES AND I LIKED IT AND I THINK I HAVE FEELINGS FOR HER BUT IM WITH CONNOR AND I DONT EVEN FUCKING LIKE HIM BUT I LOVE THIS GIRL SO MUCH” Caitlin screams out in one breath. Making Kate’s laughing stop immediately and her face drop.

“Oh, umm okay.” Kate says, still in shock on what just happened. “Well, umm come and sit.” She gestures to the grey couch. Caitlin practically runs to it and faces Kate, putting her hands on Kate’s knee for her to be serious. “Kate, I liked it. She told me she did as well and she said she would do it again if she had the chance.” “Who?” Kate asks like a teenage girl in middle school, hearing the latest gossip her friend is spilling. “Promise you won’t say anything.” Immediately after Caitlin says it Kate throws up her pinky. “I promise”

“Okay, it’s ____” Caitlin says under her breath, almost inaudible but Kate heard it, she knew she heard it when Kate gasped like she just witnessed a crime scene. “Be so for real.” She said. Not believing the brunette. “Kate I’m dead fucking serious. And I’m in love with her. Is that gay?” Caitlin asks furrowing her brows asking the question. “Yeah that’s really gay Cait. So what are you gonna do?” Seconds pass before Caitlin answers “I don’t know. What will the public think?” “If it’s true love you feel for her, it doesn’t matter what they think”It feels like a century before Caitlin speaks again“You know what. Fuck it.” She says before jumping off Kate’s couch and running out the door. “Text me!” Kate screams before the door shuts.

-

Caitlins Pov:

I take a deep breath looking at our apartment. I’m about to do this, I don’t know what will happen. To be honest, I’m fucking terrified.

I grab my key and open the door. Connor is sitting on the couch. Not alone.

“Wow” I say, clapping my hands and slowly walking into the living room. “God!” He jumps, apparently very focused on the blonde on his chest. The naked one in fact. “Caitlin! What the fuck are you doing here!? I thought you left!” “It’s my apartment Connor. It was ours! But now it’s mine. Get out or I’m calling the cops!” I scream at him. The girl on his chest, well not anymore, looking absolutely terrified as she runs to grab her stuff and leaving quickly.

“Your gonna kick me out of my house?!” He screams at me. It doesn’t affect like it used to. “Do you pay bills? Do you clean? Do you cook? No you don’t. So get the fuck out.” He rolls his eyes at me, knowing he can’t fight me on that. “You’re so fucking sick. I hope you fucking die. I hope you loose all your fans doing this. They will see how abusive and toxic you are.” “Oh I’m sure they will, get the fuck out. Take your shit with you.”

I stand at the glass door, watching him and that girl walk away. I feel like my past just walked away from me. He was supposed to be my future. But I’ve found that somewhere else, I’ve found someone else. Some who loves me and cares for me. Someone I deserve.

－

Reader Pov:

I pull up to her apartment after her text. I run up the steps to see her at the door. We make eye contact through the glass door. I see tears start to fill her eyes as she send me a smile. She did it.

I rush to open the door and when I do I wrap my arms around her neck quickly. Hers going to their home at my waist. “I’m proud of you, you did what needed to be done.” I say, pushing on the back her head to be deeper in my neck. “I love you.” She says in my neck. My heart drops. She pulls her face out of the crook of my neck to look in my eyes. “I love you too” I pull our faces to meet.

Our lips lock perfectly. Like a puzzle, waiting to be solved. Questions are silenced, the world goes quiet. Nothing but our screaming love for each other. She pulls away to look in my eyes “I love you."

－

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

hi hi hello im back with my ‘raidon beef bs!! can i get kieran and mc having some sort of argumentative confrontation when mc first comes to blueberry that almost gets physical before the mc’s alpha koraidon very angrily gets kieran to back off? -🧃

"[Y/n]..."

Looking to Kieran, your eyebrows furrowed at the hateful gaze he was sending you, teeth gnashed together.

You could tell he wanted to desperately say something to you--for having the nerve to show up at his school after what you did to him back in his homeland.

He was shocked that you came to BB Academy at all, before he saw this as his chance to show you how much he's changed and how strong he became. He even permitted you to challenge the Elite Four directly, growing impatient as he was ready finally crush you in-battle.

You, on the other hand, were a bit irritated at this new "persona" of his.

As far as you're concerned, he didn't need to do all of this. He didn't need to be petty and cruel to innocent league club members who don't live up to his standards. He didn't need to dismiss his sister so rudely and act like she once did.

Of course, you feel bad about what happened in Kitakami. Maybe you could've told him about Ogerpon much sooner and let him have a few wins...but this was too much.

Now he was being a straight-up bully. And you utterly despise those types of people.

"You better not go losing to anyone until our battle." Kieran huffed.

"Pssh, like I'd ever lose.." You lightly scoffed, deciding to match his energy.

Although when you looked back at him, you could see a forced grin forming on his face, spreading from ear-to-ear.

It could easily rival a Gengar's.

"Good. I'm not a little kid anymore. And you'll know it when I show you how the best of the best battle." He vowed, turning on his heel and preparing to walk away.

"Kiki!" Carmine gasped in outrage. "You shouldn't talk to [y/n] like that."

You were about to tell her not to intervene, as you didn't wanna see the siblings' relationship fall into further disarray because of this, but what Kieran said next broke the straw on the Numel's back for you.

"Shut it, sis-"

"Look, you can be mad at me all you want. But don't you dare take it out on everybody else."

His scowl deepened as he stared dead straight at you. "What did you say?"

"You heard me. "You stepped closer to him in challenge, fed up with his attitude. "And you're right. You're not a little kid anymore....you're a spoiled little brat who's mad that he didn't get what he wanted. When are you really gonna grow up and stop this charade, huh?"

For a moment he looked genuinely shocked that you're talking to him this way, but then his eyes darkened. "Don't. This isn't some charade. You made me like this-"

"Oh don't give me that. I didn't tell you to act like a bully. You did that to yourself. I was only trying to enjoy a nice trip away from Paldea until you decided to put me up on a pedestal." The words kept spilling out, and you didn't care that he was fuming more and more by the second. "Then you accuse me of ruining your life??"

"Stop it.."

"I get it, you wanna be like me. You wanna do what I can. But at least I don't go around throwing tantrums every time I lose-"

"SHUT UP!! JUST SHUT UP!!" Kieran suddenly turned around, hands grabbing the front of your uniform as he yanked you in close. His eyes were full of rage. "I'm through with being like you...I'm gonna be BETTER THAN YOU IN EVERY WAY!!! AND MAYBE YOU'LL KNOW HOW I FELT!!"

Although his screams initially startled you, and began attracting a small crowd, you tried your best not to show any fear.

But even so, this new side to him was terrifying to witness.

Maybe you pushed his buttons a little too much.

"Get your hands off me, Kieran." You warned firmly, gently grasping his wrists. "This isn't the time or place."

"In case it wasn't obvious, the battle court's right behind us. So it's the perfect place." He snarled. "And since you're so damn confident, maybe we'll just skip the Elite Four and get to the part where I kick--!!"

Before he could finish, one of the pokeballs attached to your belt popped open on its own, and from it emerged...

Koraidon.

Not the one who was your traveling companion who loved sandwiches, but the other member of its species: the alpha, the paradise protection protocol's defender--and now a very pissed off lizard who was able to jump out of its pokeball without your assistance.

Carmine, Drayton, and the other students gasped as it assumed its Apex build and scowled down at the boy, growling.

Suddenly Kieran didn't feel so high and mighty anymore, as he let you go and took a step away. An uncomfortable feeling of smallness and helplessness overtook him upon staring up at the Winged King's hostile gaze, a hand reaching for his Dragonite's pokeball on reflex.

You were stunned this Koraidon came to your defense quicker than the other. It must've somehow sensed the bullying behavior radiating from your rival.

'I guess it takes one to know one..'

The standoff continued for a few more moments...

Before Kieran surrendered.

"Fine. You made your point. The time for our real battle will come." His gaze went to Koraidon, his expression now cold and devoid of emotion. "Don't think you can always jump out to defend [y/n] like this. You'll see who's stronger."

It only snarled in response, while you remained beside it and frowned. "Kieran-"

"Looking forward to seeing you climb the ranks." Was all he said to you before he finally left you alone, the tension in the air still heavy as ever.

"Giiaa.."

"Thanks, buddy." You sighed, smiling a little as you stroked Koraidon's feathers. It relaxed its haunches, putting all four feet back on the ground so you could pet its snout. "Seems you've turned over a new leaf after all."

"Grraah!"

"Yeah..I can only hope he does, too.."

[birth-screaming]

Beach Birth

Request by @frank5804

Hazel really had hoped for a peaceful trip followed by a peaceful birth. The universe, however, had other plans. It was a hot day when Hazel had gone on a beach trip. She had decided to wear nothing but a pink bikini. Her due date was well over a week from now, so she felt comfortable and safe to go on the trip. She had a c-section planned anyways.

Her massive belly stuck out like a sore thumb. She was pregnant with twins, both of which being 9-11 pounds. Did she feel a little embarrassed? Sure, but she didn't care that much. She waddled onto a far away corner of the beach. Her stomach felt so low, and she had to painfully walk to lay down her blanket to sit on.

Some time passed by, and she decided to go in the water. She waddled away and gently sat down in the water, but still near the shore. Out of nowhere she felt a sharp pain in her lower back. She told herself that that was normal during pregnancy. The pain, however, did not go away. She continued to painfully play around. All of a sudden a sharp pain ripped through her abdomen. She doubled over in pain. She realized that people were giving her worried looks, but she could not focus on that. The pain only kept building until it finally faded away. Hazel's concerns grew, but she assumed that it was only a braxton hick. She continued to swim around, hoping nothing had happened.

Only three minutes go by, when she gets hit by another contraction. This one was even more painful than the other. She grabbed her massive belly and squirmed in pain. Pressure grew near her abdomen, using full strength the push down. She felt something move down her birth canal. She realized, still doubled over in pain, that she was definitely in labor. She tried to scream through her clenched teeth, but she could not make a sound. She realized she had to give birth here, her massive twins having no chance of c-section.

As soon as her contraction was over, she ran out of the water. She could barely stand with her belly and her drenched bikini. "SOMEONE, HELP!" she screamed. She barely made it out of the water before another contraction hit her. She felt her baby shift further down her birth canal. The pain in her abdomen was unbearable as the pressure continues to keep growing. She held her breath and tried not to scream, even with the pressure she was dealing with.

"She's giving birth!" someone yelled out from the beach. Hazel saw a tall man walking towards her. She had gotten not even a minute of rest when another contraction hit her. This one was different. On top of her pain in both her abdomen and the pressure-which were both worse than the previous ones- she felt her pussy lips part rapidly. She was about to crown. She clenched her teeth and grabbed her stomach. She got the urge to push-a big one. She tried to tolerate it but the pain kept growing. She quickly bore down and screamed louder than she had ever heard anyone scream.

The man came close to her and sat down. "Hey, just breathe for me, okay? I'll help deliver your baby" She could not believe him. How could a random man know how to safely deliver her abnormally large baby? "Just pull down your bikini, you're about to start crowning". She wanted to argue, but she simply had no strength. She obliged and took off her bikini's lower half.

Another contraction came through her, and she could take it no more, she bore down with all the strength she had. She felt her pussy stretch, more, more, until it felt like it would rip open if she continued to push. "I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE, ITS TOO BIG". "I know, but right now you need to push." "IT BURNS SO MUCH, IM GONNA TEAR, ITS SO BIG" "You. Need. To. Push. Otherwise the baby will go back inside. Terrified at the thought, she agreed and continued to push. Her pussy was stretched so wide that someone could fit their whole adult leg in it. She felt searing white hot pain, but she felt all of it. The next contraction was even worse, when she pushed, her pussy had reached its limit, it was about to tear. "I see it! Push!" he said. Hazel nonetheless kept pushing. Her whole body was shaking. "GET IT OUTTTT AAAHHHHHHH!!" she screamed. When she realized that she couldn't stretch anymore, she felt the head pop out with a gush of amniotic fluid. The man pulled out her baby and held it out to her. "It's a girl" he said.

The discomfort didn't stop though. Hazel continued to moan, louder each time. She began to whimper. She shifted uncomfortably in the sand. "ooohh" she said in a shaky moan. "what happened, my dear?" "I have twins" Hazel said with a pang of pain. "ooOOHH" Her voice grew as she felt a small contraction rip through her. "Please, i cant do this again, help, please, stop this" she cried and begged him, knowing that there was nothing he could do. She painfully realized that this was going to be the larger and heavier baby. She moaned even louder, her voice and body still shaking. "We can get you to the hospital, and don't worry, this one will be easier." Hazel nodded and tried to get up. He tried to help her up, as she moaned even louder, her moan almost being a scream.

Before he could even get her to take a step, she screamed out and doubled down. "NO! NOT NOW! NOT AGAIN!" she yelled out. "its okay, dear, relax". She didn't listen to him. She bore down with all her strength. "FUCK, ITS COMING, ITS COMING!! ITS WAY. TOO. BIGGGG!!" Her screams grew. He realized that this one would require more help. Without thinking, he laid her down on her sand, and pushed on her stomach. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING, ILL TEAR," He put more pressure. "STOP. ITS COMING FASTER!" She bore down again, screaming and begging him to stop. "I'm sorry, if i don't do this the baby will definitely slip back in. Now you don't want to birth this baby twice, do you?" he told her. She shook her head. She was crowning again. "See, this time its easier" "IT BURNS SO MUCH. SO MUCH PRESSURE" He still had no choice but to continue pushing on her stomach, this time with much more pressure, almost as if he was working a machinery, not tending to her pain. He couldn't though, as it was necessary to apply as much pressure as possible to prevent

Hazel continued to push, and she felt her pussy being stretched to the max. She knew she had to stop and let herself stretch. The man, however, didn't notice and put even more pressure, so much so that her stomach wasn't even round anymore. "STOP. IM TEARINGG!" she screamed, but it was too late. She felt her pussy rip apart, as if the pressure on her abdomen was not already enough. She felt the head pop out, giving a rest to her bulging pussy. The man noticed it and quickly pulled the baby out. She amniotic fluid rushed out as she finally felt relief. The man handed her her second baby. Hazel lovingly held them both.

"My name is Axel, by the way"

[crookedangelpizza]

Xiao streamer Au pt2

The ending was kinda rushed, so bare with me ;-;

Weeks had passed since the first collab, and Xiao’s stream had become something different. It wasn’t just about the game anymore. Sure, he still put his focus on every match, every level, but his thoughts would always drift to you. The teasing fights, the shared victories, and the easy comfort between the two of you were woven into his routine. He could barely deny it, he looked forward to your streams more than his own and even more to collabs between eachother.

The fans had gone wild with speculation ever since that first collab. "Xiao and [Y/N] are such a perfect match!" they’d chant in the chat. Xiao had grown used to it, but something about those words lingered in the back of his mind. A perfect match... He had never been one for fan theories or hype, but seeing your smile, hearing your voice, he couldn’t help but think that maybe just maybe the fans were right(ofc they were)

One day, after a particularly intense stream, Xiao sat back in his chair, massaging his temples as he read through his chat, replying to the usual fanfare. But then something caught his eye.

[Your Channel] has sent you a message!

Xiao’s heart skipped. You never messaged him on the birdy app, He hesitated before opening the message, wondering if it was another casual chat about a future collab, or perhaps just a thank-you for another successful stream.

But when the message opened, his breath caught in his chest.

[Y/N]:

"Hey, Xiao! I’ve been thinking about something! You know how I’ve been doing my baking streams lately, right? Well, I was wondering... if you’re not too busyy, would you be up for an in-person collab? I’m planning a special baking stream soon since im hitting 500k followers and your almost to 900k maybe we could make somethingg special for that!!, and I think it’d be fun to have you come over and join me! We can also hangout afterwards!!(if you want ofc) Think of it as a (game night meets cooking chaos) kind of deal. What do you think? :)"

Xiao blinked at the screen, his heart racing a little faster than it probably should. You wanted him to meet you in person? For a baking stream?

His mind spun. He wasn’t used to meeting other streamers face-to-face especially someone like you. Sure, he’d been comfortable in the virtual world, collaborating from the safety of his own space, but this was... different. His thoughts raced as he tried to form a response. Was this an invitation for a collab? Or was it something else entirely? A chance to get closer?

After a moment of hesitation, Xiao typed out a quick reply, his fingers trembling slightly on the keys.

[Xiao]:

"...When?"

NEW MESSAGE [Y/N]

[Y/N]:

"Yay!! I'm so glad that your up for it maybe like next week on a Friday!? And I've already announced the stream hehe ik you would do it!! Fans are asking for us to match are you up for that?!!

[Xiao]:

"Mhm that's fine"

He hit send before he could second-guess himself. His mind raced matching outfits with you and hanging out after the stream what did he do to deserve this-

The next few days flew by in a blur of preparation. Xiao found himself thinking more and more about your message, running through potential scenarios in his mind. How would he act in person? What if he messed up the baking? The thought of cooking with you-something so different from his usual gaming—both terrified and excited him. He wasn’t sure which one of those feelings was stronger.

"XIAO, I said you can stop that was your last lap. Why are you out of focus today does it have to do with your games" zhongli sighed as he handed Xiao a towel to dry himself off.

"No it's not.." He huffed

---------

When the day arrived, he found himself standing outside your door, his heart pounding in his chest. His usual composure had completely vanished. For the first time in a long while, Xiao felt utterly nervous.

Your door opened, and there you were, smiling brightly at him in the same pajama pants and black shirt. "Xiao! You made it!" You stepped aside (stopping yourself from giving him a hug)to let him in, and as he walked through the doorway, your kitchen came into view—a bright, cozy space filled with baking supplies and a hint of something delicious already wafting through the air.

"Come on in! Let me show you the setup," you said, leading him further into the room. Your voice was as warm and inviting as ever, and Xiao couldn’t help but feel a little more at ease. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all.

You turned to face him with a mischievous smile. "So, are you ready for some baking chaos?" you asked, raising an eyebrow.

Xiao blinked, clearly uncertain. "Chaos?"

"Yep! It’s gonna be fun, trust me. We're making some insane desserts today," you said with a grin, already pulling out ingredients. "First, we’ll bake some cookies, then we'll decorate them. Simple, right?"

Xiao wasn’t sure if the word simple applied to anything involving you. But, he thought, if it meant spending time with you, maybe he could handle a little chaos.

You set up your equipment and placed the camera in the perfect spot to capture everything, then turned back to Xiao. "Okay! We're live, so don't be too nervous!" you teased.

He nodded, still feeling that rush of uncertainty, but his eyes never left yours. There was something comforting about the way you were so confident, and he could almost forget about the cameras and the chat buzzing behind them.

MEOWMEOW - "OMG THATS HOW CIAO LOOKS"

HUMEAO1856 - "Yalll I literally told you he is FINEEE"

YABOICHIDE -  "he got the MUSCLES just like me, I Approve this marriage!!"

For the next hour, the two of you baked, laughed, and fumbled through the process. There were flour fights, awkward moments where neither of you could remember the recipe, and more than one cookie that came out of the oven a little too crispy.

Anyway moving on its time to put these in the ovenn!!

Xiao found himself enjoying every moment. There was something calming about being in your presence, about hearing you talk cheerfully about all the things you loved while you worked. It was different from gaming, but in a way, it was just as captivating. And every time your eyes met his, his chest seemed to tighten with something unspoken—something that went beyond the game, beyond the stream.

As the final batch of cookies baked, you turned to him with a grin. "Okay, Xiao. It's time for the best part." You grabbed a tube of icing and held it up. "Decorating time!"

Xiao stared at the frosting, then at you. "What do I do?"

You laughed and stepped closer, gently guiding his hand with the icing bag. "Here, I'll show you. You just need to go slow and steady... and maybe add a little flair."

He nodded, attempting to mimic your careful movements, but the moment he squeezed the tube, a glob of frosting shot out onto the cookie and splattered all over the counter.

"Oops," he muttered, looking up at you with a rare sheepish expression.

You burst out laughing, and Xiao’s face flushed slightly, feeling his heart skip in his chest at the sound of your genuine, carefree laughter.

"Don't worry! That's part of the fun!" you said, wiping a bit of icing off his cheek. Your fingers lingered for a second longer than necessary, and for a brief moment, Xiao's heart seemed to stop altogether.

MEOWMEOW - "YALL DO YOU SEE THE WAY THEY LOOK AT EACHOTHER"

SKIBIDISCAR - " SHIP SHIP SHIP"

As the stream wrapped up, you and Xiao sat at the counter, your cookies (a bit more colorful than expected) lined up in front of you. The chat was filled with nothing but praise for your chaotic baking skills and how well you two worked together. But Xiao wasn’t paying much attention to the comments.

His mind was still on that fleeting moment—the way your fingers had brushed against his skin. Was it just a friendly gesture? Or was there something more? He wasn’t sure. The entire time you’d been together, he couldn’t shake the feeling that something between you had shifted.

"You did great today," you said, beaming at him as the stream ended. "I didn’t think you’d be so good at baking... even with the little icing mishap." You said as you were leading him to the couch.

Xiao simply nodded, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. He wasn’t used to this kind of praise, but somehow, hearing it from you made it feel different. Real.

"Thanks," he murmured, his voice quieter than usual.

And then, before he could stop himself, he added, "Maybe we can do this again sometime."

-------------

You raised an eyebrow. "Oh? You mean, another baking stream?"

There, it was an alert for severe rain and a reason for him to stay longer(yall I didn't know what to put)

"Oh my gosh I can't let you go home in these conditions" you say as you close the windows

It's fine I'll be home in 30 minutes he protested

-------

Really you have to stay you pled as you extended the couch. See I'll even sleep here so you aren't scared you giggled

You stretched out beside him, pulling a blanket over the two of you as the late-night tiredness began to settle in. "You know," you said with a teasing smile, "I’m really glad you came today. This was fun." You glanced at him, and your eyes caught his again. There was a brief, charged silence before you broke it with a light laugh.

---

"Yeah, me too," Xiao responded quietly. He shifted slightly, trying to get comfortable, but his mind wouldn’t stop spinning. The warmth of the room, the soft glow of the lights, the way your voice lingered in his head it was all so... comforting.

You shifted a little closer, nudging him with your shoulder as you closed your eyes. "I’m glad you came, Xiao. Honestly, I was kind of nervous, too," you confessed with a sleepy smile.

Xiao blinked, surprised. "You were?" he asked, his voice a little softer than usual.

"Yeah," you yawned, "I mean, it’s different, you know? Streaming in person. But it turned out fine, didn’t it?"

He nodded slowly, still feeling the pull of your closeness. The warmth of the blanket made his muscles relax, but his mind was still racing. He glanced down at you, noticing how relaxed you looked next to him—how soft your features were in the dim light.

Before he knew it, the silence between you two deepened, and with it, the realization that he was falling into a more comfortable, intimate space with you. He didn’t want to mess it up.

You stretched and let out a quiet sigh. "Honestly, I’m just so tired," you mumbled. "I think I might actually doze off."

"Yeah," Xiao murmured, "me too."

He turned slightly, trying to keep his distance, but you shifted again, now lying with your head resting just a few inches from his chest. He froze, his heartbeat picking up. The soft hum of the air conditioning and the peaceful quiet of your apartment filled the room. Xiao’s muscles tensed involuntarily, but it wasn’t because of any discomfort—it was just the strange feeling of having someone this close, someone who made him feel safe in a way he wasn’t used to.

Without thinking, he instinctively shifted, his arm coming to rest behind you, almost as if his body was telling him it needed to protect this moment, protect you. His bicep brushed lightly against your shoulder, and he instantly regretted it, feeling his entire face flush.

You shifted, your body naturally pressing just a little bit closer to his warmth. "Xiao... you have really nice muscles," you said sleepily, the compliment slipping out before you could stop yourself.

Xiao blinked, the sudden shift in your voice making his heart race. He hadn’t expected that. "I... uh..." He felt his throat go dry as he shifted awkwardly, his arm still around you. "I’m a swimmer," he said, as if that explained everything. "I just... have to stay in shape."

You smiled softly, your face still flushed from the warm comfort of his arm around you. "I can tell. I didn’t think you could get any more impressive, but I guess I was wrong."

Xiao was suddenly very aware of how close you were. Your body heat seemed to seep into him, and every little movement you made felt amplified. The rhythmic sound of your breathing lulled him into a state of calm, yet there was a strange tension in the air—one he couldn’t quite understand.

"Well," you murmured, almost asleep, "I think this is nice. We should do this again... more than just streams."

Xiao’s breath caught at the words. Did you mean it? His mind flashed back to the stream, the moments you shared—your fingers brushing his, the teasing, the laughter. He wanted to say something, to tell you that he was feeling the same pull, but the words didn’t come. He just shifted slightly, pulling you a little closer in an unspoken response.

You made a soft sound, almost like a sigh of contentment, and before he knew it, you were dozing in his arms, your body relaxed and safe against his chest. Xiao sat still, his heart beating steadily, unsure of what to think, but too tired to care. He could feel the steady rhythm of your breathing beneath his arm and the way your soft warmth melted against him.

The soft weight of your body against his felt more natural than anything he'd ever experienced. A warmth blossomed in his chest, one that wasn’t from nervousness or confusion, but from something deeper, something comfortable.

He closed his eyes, letting the peace of the moment wash over him. Maybe this was just the beginning, maybe it was more than just a collab. Whatever it was, Xiao wasn’t in any rush to figure it out. For now, he was content to just be here, with you, in the quiet, cozy warmth of your apartment. And for the first time in a long time, he felt like he truly belonged somewhere.

"I like you," Xiao whispered, his voice low and hesitant, but full of sincerity.

You stirred in his arms, a soft smile tugging at your lips. "Mhm, really?"

"Yeah," he replied, his arms tightening around you, as if to hold onto the moment.

"I like you too," you murmured sleepily, nuzzling closer.

Xiao’s heart raced, but he pulled you in even tighter hug It felt simple and perfect, just the two of you

It is so bad I want to give you a zero but that's not possible so i give you a 1😣

[asthedeathoflight]

Okay so I was thinking someone should do something adjacent to this band au by @emilywaters but with Rembrandt as the lighting director but i fear that i may be the only person capable of this considering you know. Thats actually my job. But i have too many wips so you're getting this au in post form. Everything I changed from the original post is due to me writing out this entire post before I successfully tracked it down so like it's not me disagreeing I simply forgor.

I'm not sure what like level of fame they were supposed to be in the original but i need them to be doing stadium shows purely for Rembrandt's sake okay she deserves it theyre touring with an ma3 just believe me.

I think Cleon was originally their lead singer but she had to step down for. Reasons. Idk. So the Warriors are hard up bc their producer is on their ass about getting demos recorded for their next album but none of them really feel good about replacing Cleon.

Mercy is a mistreated burnt out pop idol who's just kind of getting listless at this point because she's basically just a prop for a brand and she can't even give a fuck about her music anymore. She meets Swan at a party and they hit it off and get blackout drunk and Swan wakes up the next day with a recording on her phone of Mercy doing a demo of one of the songs she wrote. She takes it in to their producer like here fine theres a demo are you happy and shes like??? Hello???? This is incredible??? Who is this singer??? And Swan is like hahaha. About that.

The producer reaches out to Mercy's management and theyre like um absolutely not she does not want to join your band she's a solo act but then Mercy gets Swan's number somehow and is like i DO wanna join your band actually but im stuck in this goddamned contract. So then its about them getting their record label to go up against Mercy's and get her out of her contract so she can be their new lead singer.

And also more importantly (to me) is the subplot about the like relatively young and inexperienced lighting girl from their home venue who Cleon insisted on hiring for their first tour and who just kind of stuck around and became part of the group. They tour with a disproportionately nice rig bc Rembrandt is a fucking nerd and none of them can resist her puppy dog eyes about getting shiny new toys. And like yeah she's kind of quiet and doesn't talk much in a group but she can hold her own against the fucking overhires giving her shit at whatever venue and not taking her seriously and she gets stars in her eyes when Ajax asks her about programming so like needless to say Ajax is a little bit obsessed with her. Rembrandt's job is half ordering around men twice her size and age and half real-time computer programming live in front of an audience. Ajax never stood a chance. There are always fans trying to see Ajax after the show and Ajax is always in the booth while Rembrandt talks about the latest patch grand ma pushed out and how she hates everything about it and everyone at that company is trying to ruin her life (she will have adapted and forgotten about this in two days until the next patch which alters her workflow .00001% upon which time she will again believe her career is over and she needs to call them to revert the console)

I think probably their relationship is more of a flashback moment bc obviously The Warriors can't be touring while they're looking for a new singer but I think when they're not on tour Rembrandt lives in Portland and does like weird indie performance art shit and Ajax stays in LA with Swan and the others and the long distance is kind of killing them. Could Ajax stay with Rembrandt in Portland for a few months and fly back down when they're actually recording stuff? Absolutely. Does this idea terrify her existentially for reasons she can neither articulate nor overcome? Also absolutely. But on a more fun note Rembrandt drags Ajax to USITT with her every year which is actually kind of fun for Ajax because in addition to Rembrandt being so excited nobody there is impressed at all by her being famous but they ARE impressed that she knows how DMX works. So. Who's laughing now Swan. The flashcards worked.

[mazzystar24]

Okay this might be kinda a long ask but BEAR WITH ME!!!

Okay so 7x07 is titled “Ghost of a Second Chance”

Buck’s big gesture at the end of 7x05 was asking Tommy for a second chance.

I have seen some speculation that we are going to have some sort of major vehicle accident at some point this season based on bts photos and makeup trailer photos— so i have a working theory starting from the Madney wedding onto the end of the season.

Okay so 7x06: We will see Chimney’s bachelor party- personally im a big fan of the accidental marriage trope in fanfiction, but im trying to be realistic here. My theory is that when Buck and Eddie get plastered, Eddie starts to look at him weird, but is like “nahh no, that’s my best friend. he’s with tommy. he’s a guy. but im looking respectfully 👀👀.” They wake up the next day, and Chim is gone. They all immediately launch into “we gotta find him mode” and eddie stick with buck for most of the episode. As it goes on, Eddie starts thinking about all of his little thoughts about Buck from the night before and he keeps trying to explain them away in his mind- but his brain keeps popping back to the marisol of it all and he’s like “but what does it all mean??” anyway, they get chimney back, and things go well, but then the Buckley’s find out that evan is dating a man. They say some not-nice things (as they do everytime they’re around their son) and it’s not maddie who sticks up for buck, it’s not tommy, it’s not bobby or athena or hen or anyone because they’re all off having a grand old time— no, it’s Eddie. Eddie who will not even think about hearing anyone speak ill of Buck. He tells them about how wonderful snd deserving of love their son is and that if that’s from a man so be it as long as he’s happy— cue eddie’s epiphany as he mulls over his own words, glances up to the dance floor, and he sees buck dancing with tommy. But in that moment he sees buck. It suddenly clicks, and he realizes that he is screwed.

Now we have 7x07: Eddie is struggling to come to terms with what he has realized at the wedding. He’s shooketh ™️ and scared out of his mind over the fact that his best friend- who literally just came out to him- may be the person he’s been waiting for to settle down with. the other parentsl figure for Chris. someone Chris would want around. someone Eddie would want around. He spirals as he and Marisol begin to completely fall apart. At some point, they get a call- a helicopter crash. There is an immediate sinking feeling from everyone. They get to the scene and Bobby gives out instructions- Eddie and Buck make their way to the crash site, Buck terrified of what might be waiting for them. Eddie sees Tommy first- still alive but hanging on by a thread. This is where we get a delicious parallel to Shannon’s death. Eddie immediately is on the defensive, trying to keep Buck from seeing, but Buck is distraught. They get Tommy out and into an ambulance, but he’s been watching this whole time- he sees how Eddie so ferociously tried to protect Buck, and he realizes. As Tommy and Buck are in the back of the ambulance. Tommy tells Buck that he will move on, and maybe say something along the lines of “you don’t find it, you make it” (👀👀👀) and that Buck has Eddie. And THAT is when it clicks for Buck. Buck realizes as the first man he ever consciously considered in a romantic light dies in front of him, that what he has been looking for, he already has because he’s built it with Eddie (“you never know what you need until a light is shined on it” - oliver stark). But it can’t be because eddie is straight right? right??

Then from 7x08-7x10: we get the two of them dancing around each other. we get avoidance, we get longing glances missed by both of them. we see eddie have a multi-episode arc where he fully comes to terms with what he’s feeling, and he gets an emotional scene with Chris about Chris loving his Buck, and how Buck is kind of like his second dad since he doesn’t have Shannon as his mom anymore. On Buck’s end, we get a Buckley sibling moment where Maddie tells Buck that she’s always thought he had a thing for Eddie, but that she thought he needed to discover that himself. Buck is conflicted over telling Eddie because he just got what he wanted, even if it’s just in his head, he doesn’t want to lose it, especially not after just losing tommy. He is going to ignore it, but then we get another Loft Scene ™️. Eddie tells Buck that he is tired if avoiding Buck, and that he can’t lose someone else. He tells Buck that he knows Buck doesn’t feel the same, but that he would much rather be Buck’s best friend and have that be all he can be, than to not have him because he was too scared and pushed Buck away. He tells Buck that he’s Chris’s second dad, and that neither he or Chris can lose him, and Buck finally feels so wanted by his family- the family he made with Eddie. And he tells Eddie he loves him too. Then we get Eddie stepping in close, asking if Buck is okay with him kissing him before (something that has never happened for Buck, even with Tommy) and Buck tells him yes, and season 7 closes with them kissing in the same spot in Buck’s kitchen where all those years ago, Eddie told him there was no one her trusted his son with more than Buck.

Cue Season 8 finally bringing us the domestic fluff and tooth-rotting romance that we desperately need from the two of them and have been waiting for for SO long. Plus a few stumbles, maybe some doubts along the way, but nothing that can’t be fixed without some good ol’ “i love you to the core”

and you know what, because im feeling nice after my little spec sesh, when they go visit shannon’s grave to place flowers, they visit tommy’s too because he is who brought them together in the end.

I fully recognize how delulu i probably sound, but at the same time @ Tim Minear and ABC, i will be awaiting my writer’s credit on IMDb, and my check in the mail, thanks. 🙏

(also again SO sorry for the long ask I just needed to put this out in your orbit)

💳💥💳💥💳💥💳💥💳💥

Take my money like a lot of this I’d definitely love to read a fanfic of🫡🫡

I think the only part I personally don’t LOVE is the Tommy dying bit, like that’s just down to personal preference tbh because I love a more amicable breakup and they all are friends now type of thing ( most of greys anatomy couples style)

[itsraven0v0]

YANDERE!KARUSER HCs

Note: as i said before, im terrible at writing yanderes. its mostly because im not a huge fan of it?! especially with characters i think would never fit in the role and Krauser is one of them. HOWEVER in a different timeline maybe, he'd make one hell of a f*cked up yandere.

i devided this into two sections (pre!javier krauser and post!javier krauser). enjoy~

comments and feedbacks are always appreciated:>

. PRE!JAVIER KARUSER .

you two met on one of his day offs when he was doing his routine jog and now he is EVERYWHERE!

like you can even see his iconic slicked back blond hair from the corner of your eyes.

you aint getting rid of him, you also aint getting a confrontation either!

i think back then he had more fucks to give so he kinda wanted to play it safe and approach you little by little

but when you where walking home alone one night(ffs dont do that) you got yourself in danger and then boom! this man appears outa nowhere and starts kicking their asses.

well that caught your attention and made you wanna give him a chance. what could go wrong, right?

oh you fool...

you aint getting outa his house anymore.

im pretty sure he has a single cabin in the woods that he has for the day offs he gets, so good luck runnung away.

not that you could if it was an apartment anyway.

this guy will hunt you down and drag u back. you will be his little canary or some shit.

. POST!JAVIER KRAUSER .

oh boy...

unlike the previous version, this man is too tired to give a fuck about playing it safe.

you two met at a bar where he was drowning himself in self-loathing and alcohol.

and as your obsession with military men with scars on their faces (and the alcohol) kicked in, you thought what better than to help him. right?! ahah...

look i aint judging you, thats literally me. ok??

you helped this man get his ass home safe from the bar and guess what? he was drunk and invited u in and u TOOK IT!

you helped him lay down, took his injured hand when he was having nightmares, made him coffee and everything OF COURSE HE WAS GONNA FALL FOR YOU!

your soft hands felt so good on his when he woke up only to see you fallen asleep besides his bed.

you appeared like an angel in his miserable life for a moment and from that morning he gave everything just to have your soothing presence in his life.

but soon this turned into something alarming.

he would confront you all of a sudden like: "be with me."

and if you refuse? well you can't. this man can turn on threatening mode real f*cking quick and this terrifies the sh*t outa you.

he'll keep you like a pet. attend to you good and make sure you are okay and happy but he also thinks the moment you walk outa his door smth is gonna take you away from him so say goodbye to outdoors.

he is so sad please be nice to him...i mean he technically gonna take away all your freedom but did you even have any to begin with?

enjoy you life with him while it lasts. and also enjoy knowing nothing about him. also enjoy meeting Wesker :D

that mf can and WILL pay u a visit just to scare Jack into doing what he's asking of him.

one day you ran away just to find out what he has been doing, who is he and who's that asshole that wears sunglasses indoors. And you saw smth that made you heart race in both fear and attraction(you weird f*ck! dw me too)

there he was testing his las plagas form. all monstrous and bloody. you took a step back in fear and the sound made him spot you. man he was terrified you were gonna run away. but nah!

you into that so you stayed.

you are gonna be so sad when he dies...

you think u can prevent that? try your best!

whooowhi!

thats the most yandere yall are gonna get outa me. hope that satisfied you anon who asked that.

ALSO i might wanna start a second page to write about other stuff [like mortal kombat :D] so i'll share it here too.

[toynbeck]

can you explain your interpretation of "i'm thinking of ending things"? id love to hear your thoughts

YEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS

*ahem*

first off : the book and the movie are vastly different, but i actually do not have a preference for one or the other. i think everyone who's seen the movie should read the book, i think everyone who's read the book should see the movie. they both bring incredible things to the table when it comes to telling this story. for simplicity, i'll only be talking about the book (SPOILER WARNING TOO)-- but keep in mind i Absolutely Love and Still Recommend the film wholeheartedly.

i interpret I'm Thinking Of Ending Things as a heartbreakingly bleak trans horror story. this was my first conclusion, almost as a joke, but when i looked over the book again i found that it made so much sense.

these are a few details that i think contribute to my interpretation :

jake is not just imagining himself with a girlfriend, with a better more fulfilling life, he's imagining himself as a girl. Jake's source of depression comes from not living up to his full potential, but there's really no specific way he envisions his "better life" except "im a girl this time, and im happy".

the girl is never named, nor described (other than a one-off line confirming that she's blonde, and also implying that Jake is blonde) but the book alludes that Girl looks a lot like Jake. her appearance is supposedly drawn from a girl he saw at trivia night, and then he started.. imagining himself as this girl? i don't think his avoidance of her was a "missed connection" type of thing. i think he felt longing in an envious way. he can never bring himself to be with a woman because it would make him upset, like being someone's boyfriend would just be a confirmation of his current gender. his expected role as a man. taking any steps to make a life for himself involves being perceived as a man. a boyfriend, a husband, a father. he doesn't want to lock himself into these roles.

during the sex scene, he says "let's use our hands, only our hands". even in his fantasies he can't bear to imagine normal PIV sex because He Doesn't Know What It Feels Like From A Girls Perspective. even when he is the girl, he Can't imagine it, and he can't disrupt his perfect dream. so they use their hands, only their hands.

the paintings. the grotesque imagery of both his selves trying to merge, hidden away in a basement. the picture on the wall of "Jake as a child" that looks exactly like Girl.

at the end, Jake is being hunted down by his younger self. there's this sense of anger from him, as Girl dissipates into an old man, "Why didn't you do it? We could've had this life. It's too late now. Why didn't you do it?" he now believes there's no chance of becoming who he wants to be. that this is how life will always feel. that the only way out is relieving himself of feeling this way entirely : killing himself. merging as one with the Girl, he can stay inside this dream forever. nothing has to hurt anymore.

AND HE DIES IN A CLOSET.

i found that there are a lot of parallels between I'm Thinking Of Ending Things and I Saw The TV Glow. it looks like only one of them leaves room for hope, but i don't think that's entirely true.

I Saw The TV Glow tells us "there is still time". it has an equally bleak ending, but it's not over. Owen isn't dead. no matter how old he is, his life is not over. as long as he's still alive there is still time.

and I'm Thinking Of Ending Things tacks onto this, "what are you waiting for?"

they both have symbolism that can read as suicide or transition. in a way, it's both. it's presented as "killing" a part of yourself. The Real You is suffocating. the idea of having to upheave your entire life, however "good" it may be now, for a chance at happiness (potentially alienating yourself from everything and everyone you know)- is terrifying. the alternative (that you give up, that life is going to feel like this forever) is equally terrifying.

but There Is Still Time.

we didn't see Owen make it out. we don't see Jake survive. but you're here. like a cautionary tale-- you walk out of that theater, you close this book, after looking into a shattered mirror that echoes the terrifying thought of your hopes and dreams being euthanized. after looking into a crystal ball that tells you Yes, It Will Hurt. Yes, It Will Be Hard. this is how it can be, this is how it often goes. but it doesn't have to be you. it doesn't have to end like this for you.

i can never get it out of my head : There Is Still Time. What Are You Waiting For?

[ghostyypawzz]

tw mentions of grooming, sh, ed

long ass vent warning 💀

is it bad that i anytime i talk to someone older than me i can wonder about their intentions ?

i know they’re most likely not trying to get anything out of me but

i just remember everything they said to me

3 people who only talked to me because they wanted pictures

3 people, ages 25, 31, and 21

i thought you were here for me

and when i told him that i’d been groomed before? that i was fucking terrified and he was the only one that i’d felt comfortable with telling?

you just went and did the same thing, you used it against me.

so many pictures and videos

“do this pose next” “can you say this for me” “can you call me ____ instead” “take off this next” “cut my initials into this limb next” “go deeper”

you make me feel sick

i sent you a fucking gift, i want my $20 back

i still have what you sent me, i tucked it away into a corner, i still remember it

i had to send you my address for it, remember?

but of course when i realized “i don’t want this” anymore

when after nights of puking my guts out after you’d hang up

you threatened to either kill me yourself or call the police to have me swatted?? do you know how it was every night looking outside my window waiting for either you or someone else to come?

the worst part is that i know you’d do it.

you’d jump at the chance to kill me, you fucking disgust me

i hate you

i hate you so much

your a corrupt piece of shit

sometimes i still want to seek them out though

look for someone who just wants to use me

because they just love me blindly, even if it’s just because they want something out of me

they ignore all my issues, my flaws, the scars, the looks

i feel so fucking gross

i miss starving for them, i miss carving my body for them

isn’t that so disgusting? i don’t deserve anything i’ve got.

how would everyone feel if they knew how terrible i am?

that i’m just some whore?

ughdhf im so done ill be surprised if i make it another year

[trickstarbrave]

back at it again--

continuing this idea i have for @wellthebardsdead's au fool's prayer.

i was gonna write. the altercation outside the temple room. but yknow i'll get to it later i have to sleep and i wanna post what i wrote :))) (no proofread tho im sorry)

kinks for this i guess are body worship and breeding kink. lmao

--

Nerevar dressed as always, though he chose to forgo most of the elaborate, ceremonial armor he typically wore. Usually he would never dream of going without it on the day of a council meeting, but well…

He had no intention of attending a meeting today. It didn’t matter that Sen Dres had finally recovered enough to attend meetings once more. Even if he did bother attending, its not like anything would come of it. 

Morrowind was about to experience a very, very big change, after all. One most of the councilmen would no doubt be furious with him over--much more than they’d be angry with him for simply canceling a meeting. Right before, if Nerevar could guess correctly, Voryn would have their heads roll. 

Again, this was a chance for him to back out. He could look for a method of stopping Voryn, simply postponing his promised meeting with him. Nerevar could only buy him so much time before Voryn saw through his ruse, and perhaps it would have been an option if he thought they were any closer to stopping Voryn. But they weren’t--not in the slightest. The idea of actually stopping Voryn seemed further and further away by the day as the enormity of their foe grew. Nerevar knew it was a battle he wouldn’t win; it was best to use alternate methods. If there was a foe you truly couldn’t stop, it was better to appeal to them and manipulate them. Nerevar had attempted as much with the councilors, but was too outnumbered. He might have been the famed chimer king chosen by Azura, but that only worked for around the first century or so. What he actually needed was more political backing to achieve his goals, especially as Red Mountain refused to calm in the wake of its eruption and people were still displaced from Vvardenfell. 

Voryn however… He was a better option. He couldn’t guarantee Voryn could even feel ‘love’ anymore, but he did know Voryn had a weakness to Nerevar. The hortator was his lover at one point, and Voryn made it a point to recruit Nerevar now that he was back. For one reason or another Voryn wanted or needed Nerevar at his side, either to secure his power long term, because of the nature of the heart, or out of sheer selfish desire. And Nerevar could use that to his advantage. Temper his wrath and violence like a skilled smith at a forge. Gently persuade him down avenues that benefited both himself and Nerevar, along with securing Vivec’s safety. 

He walked down the halls with a purpose. Several temple staff stopped him to tell him the councilors were ready for the meeting, taking in the sight of Nerevar underdressed for the occasion, but Nerevar simply waved them off. 

“No meeting today.” Nerevar announced. “I need to commune immediately.” 

“Commune?” One of the priests asked, apprehensive.

“Yes,” Nerevar replied, still making his way to the temple room set aside for such a matter. A private room, grandly decorated to the Good Three. Voryn had instructed Nerevar in the precise way to summon him--much like one would summon a daedric prince. He was, after all, not much different than the other princes now with how much raw power he possessed. “It concerns Red Mountain.” 

The volcano, able to be seen even from Mournhold, had been behaving strangely after all. The Good Three either could not or would not stop it before, but Voryn had a stronger connection to the heart, and thus, Red Mountain. Already for the past few days it seemed… Restless, as though it was eager to blow again, terrifying the citizens of Morrowind. 

The priest looked relieved hearing that, still following him. “Oh thank the Three…” He audibly sighed. “If they can stop it from erupting once more the people will be more than thankful.” 

“Where do you think you’re going, Hortator?” Sen Dres was scowling, now also tailing him. Nerevar didn’t stop his stride in the slightest. “It is time for a council meeting--an overdue one while I have been in recovery!”

“There will be no meeting today.” Nerevar replied back coolly, entirely undeterred. 

“No meeting?” Sen Dres balked at him. “You do not get to unilaterally decide when there will be a council meeting or not!” He shouted, but Nerevar continued on his path. 

“Something of higher importance came up.”

“Ha!” Sen scoffed. “What could be more important than this meeting? We’ve already had to delay it for weeks. There’s several things on the agenda that have been postponed long enough.”

Finally, Nerevar stopped in front of the door to the shrine room, hand reaching for the handle. Seeing this, Sen Dres sneered.

“You’re postponing the council meeting to beg before the Good Three?” Nerevar gave him a harsh glare in return.

“This isn’t something that can be postponed another day.” Nerevar said definitively, baring his teeth. “The meeting can wait.”

“I hope you intend to take responsibility for your blatant disrespect of the great houses Hortator!” Sen Dres shouted, but Nerevar gave him no reply. He opened the heavy doors, and then shut them behind him.

Sen Dres scowled as he walked away, but the moment he was out of view of the priest a cruel smile broke out across his face.

Oh, he had no intention of letting this meeting be canceled. They would simply instead use this opportunity to their advantage. He merely hadn't expected the hortator to give him such an opening so soon.

Sen Dres was more than happy to say the hortator would be simply abstaining from the meeting, throw out the small handful of councilors supporting him, and begin his coup in earnest. The king usually spent hours conversing with the Good Three in ‘important matters’ but rarely with any material reward. It would give them plenty of time to rally armed guards, tie up the priests, and storm into the room to kill the chimer mid-prayer. And even more exciting—Vivec was still powerless, and according to the spies Sen planted, he was with child. Even if their attack was thwarted, Sen could use Vivec as a hostage. Certainly the hortator would do anything and everything in his power to protect the little temple whore and his own unborn child. 

It was too easy. The king lined him up in a perfect checkmate without him even realizing. All that was left to do was make his move.

Morrowind no longer needed Nerevar. He was a relic of a bygone era—an old folk hero reborn as an outlander. The only reason he rose to power again was in the wake of the Red Year, but he has no real political backing. House Indoril controlled the temple, but they were a mere shell without Almalexia; she wanted it that way on purpose, after all. 

Nerevar had nothing he could bring Morrowind. All he had were naive ideas that charity alone could get them out of this mess, or restricted the Great Houses in an effort to control them. 

Today would mark the day he finally did away with him and unshackled Morrowind.

—

Inside, Nerevar mixed incense as he so often did before summoning one of the Good Three. Only this time he made a completely different mixture than he often did, sifting the powders together before tamping down white ash as a bed for it, and then setting it in the proper design. No doubt when Voryn returned he’d have this incense blend standardized and a mold made in his preferred shape, but right now Nerevar would have to make due.

He lit it, inhaling the familiar scent of House Dagoth, hit with melancholy for the past. In his first lifetime he could smell this blend often in the halls of any House Dagoth stronghold, or even clinging onto Voryn’s skin like perfume. 

It smelled of home. A long, forgotten home. His mouth quivered and his eyes watered, but he forced the tears down. 

The past was in the past. Nothing he could do could change it--a lesson he learned over and over. Even now, Voryn wasn’t the same, but Nerevar intended to use him as needed. 

For his own safety as well as Vivec’s. And hopefully in the long term, for the good of Morrowind entirely. 

He then said prayers, kneeling on the plush pile of pillows he prepared as well, apprehensive. 

When the prayers were finished, he waited. Seconds ticked by, each one filling him with more concern. Had he done it incorrectly? Had Voryn changed his mind? No--no that couldn’t be it. He did everything to the letter as Voryn instructed, and Voryn wouldn’t have given up on Nerevar so easily. Or was it… Voryn had played him entirely? Did Voryn intend to use this as his opening into the world and ran off to cause chaos? 

Just as his worries started to get the better of him though he felt two cool hands cover his eyes, a dark chuckle behind him. He jumped at first, before relief washed over him.

“Apologies,” Voryn whispered, “I was simply admiring you kneeling like that.”

“Voryn,” Nerevar began, before Voryn continued, his voice slow and seductive. 

“You’re the first person to pray to me in earnest, after all.” Voryn nibbled playfully on his ear, coaxing a few moans from Nerevar’s throat. “Though you won’t be the last.” He chuckled again, before blowing softly, watching Nerevar’s ear twitch and listening to the stranger groan that followed. “But you will always be my first and most devout worshiper, won’t you?” 

“Yes,” Nerevar gasped softly, leaning against Voryn. “Yes, I will be…”

“You’ll even carry the child of a god, my perfect heir…” He rubbed Nerevar’s stomach almost tenderly, before continuing to nibble and kiss along his neck. “Oh how I’ve longed to have you in my arms once more…”

“Voryn~” Nerevar keened, before Voryn wrangled him onto the pile of plush pillows. 

“Look at you…” Voryn was smirking with delight, cupping Nerevar’s flushed cheek. “You look like the perfect offering to me.” Nerevar shuddered at the cold touch, before instantly, Voryn’s hand felt warm and alive again once more.

“How should I make love to you, Neht?” Voryn asked, his voice soft and tender, before his skin changed to chimer gold once more. “Like this?” He leaned in close, his voice soft and tender. “Do you miss this form, my Moon and Star?”

“So long as it’s you, I don’t care.” Nerevar whispered back. “Though I’d… Prefer if your skin is warm.” Voryn chuckled at that, his skin fading to grey once again. 

“I’m perfectly happy with that.” Voryn purred. “I want to make sure it feels as good as possible for you, after all.” He was already pulling Nerevar’s shirt up and over his head. “Perhaps another time we can relive the past like before.” Voryn’s hands then slide up and then back down Nerevar’s torso in long, gliding strokes, making Nerevar’s eyes flutter shut. “I can lay you on my bed… Dress you in the finest silks…” Nerevar could already picture it, “And be the one to worship you.”

“Mm, would you…?” Nerevar cracked his eyes open, looking up at Voryn. He didn’t think Voryn would; not after becoming a god, anyways. Perhaps he was just trying to appeal to Nerevar, making empty promises. Nerevar was nervous about expecting too much from him.

“Of course,” Voryn smiled warmly now, as he caressed Nerevar’s cheek again. “You’ll be my consort… The holiest of saints in my temple…” Voryn leaned in closer, “My beloved…” 

Voryn’s lips met his in a surprisingly tender kiss. He’d expected Voryn to be ravenous when he was summoned, throwing Nerevar to the floor to debauch him properly. But like this he was slow, sensual, lips moving in sync with Nerevar’s as his tongue tangled with the hortator’s in a slow dance. Nerevar had to hold his shoulders to ground himself, but every movement has him wanting more and more. Now he was starting to feel like the impatient one as Voryn took his time exploring Nerevar’s mouth and tasting him thoroughly, Nerevar’s breathing growing more and more labored.

“In fact,” Voryn whispered as he pulled away, a string of saliva still connecting their mouths, “I think I will worship you today, Neht.” Voryn smiled slyly as he began to slide down Nerevar’s body, pressing warm, wet kisses across his skin. “You’ve finally come to me, after all, and it’s time I reward you properly…” 

His lips closed around a nipple, sucking soft and gentle at first as he coaxed soft whimpers and moans out of Nerevar’s throat. It was almost teasing how thorough he was being in working Nerevar up, swirling his tongue around the bud before giving it a soft nibble.

“Should I have these pierced?” Voryn asked, looking up at him before giving another swirl of his tongue as his hand played with the other. Nerevar keened again, arching up against his mouth. “It’s typically relegated to concubines but…” Voryn nipped a bit harder this time, listening to the sharp whine that followed. “I think they’d look perfect on you… Make these so much more sensitive…” Nerevar was panting now, knowing full well he was soaking wet already. “I wonder if I could make you cum just from touching you like this with how sensitive your chest would be…” Voryn flicked both of them now, before giving a soft pinch.

“Ah~!” Nerevar’s cunt was aching in need now as his hips shifted to grind against the larger mer. “Voryn~” He whined again, all the while Voryn continued to touch and tease him mercilessly.

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” Voryn asked with a smirk, before kissing his way to the other bud, giving it a soft lick, before closing his lips around to suck, flicking it with his tongue the whole while.

“Yes,” Nerevar gasped in between moans, “Yes, I want it, I want it Voryn~” 

Voryn’s lips finally let go, both of his nipples flushed and standing erect. His hips were still shifting under Voryn though as Voryn began kissing his way down Nerevar’s chest, down his ribs, and trailing towards his trousers.

“I can’t wait to taste you again,” Voryn whispered, his tone almost dangerous as he undid the lacing on them, before tugging the fabric down and off Nerevar’s legs. Nerevar helped by kicking them off, moaning from the teasing strokes at his thighs. Voryn then slid his underwear down, pulling it off him in full, before spreading Nerevar’s thighs and settling himself between them. 

“Voryn…” Nerevar groaned, his hands in Voryn’s hair, trembling from his desire.

“So wet…” Voryn remarked, delighted as he admired Nerevar so closely. It honestly made his face burn in embarrassment, even his ears turning red. “You look just as perfect as you did back then…” Voryn whispered, before leaning in to give a soft kiss to his lips, before moving up to press a kiss to his cock. Every touch of his lips has Nerevar’s body jerking, cries spilling uncontrollably from his mouth. It wasn’t enough—it wasn’t nearly enough for him.

“Stop,” Nerevar pleaded. “Stop teasing me—“

“Teasing you?” Voryn asked, pulling away enough to look up at him and cock an eyebrow. “I’m not teasing you at all.” Voryn smirked now, his fingers just pressing against Nerevar’s entrance, but not slipping inside. “I’m memorizing you again, as I promised.”

“Voryn~!” He needed more; Nerevar needed more. He couldn’t handle this level of teasing—not after so long apart.

“I’m worshiping your body, just like you deserve…” Voryn purred, his fingers finally slipping inside. “This perfect, gorgeous body that is finally… All… Mine…” His lips then closed around Nerevar’s cock, suckling softly, listening to Nerevar howl in pure pleasure.

“Yes!” Nerevar’s eyes rolled back as he tried to tug Voryn closer and closer. “Fuck yes, fuck yes!!” Voryn’s tongue flicked against it too, before he removed the pressure and instead pressed another wet kiss. Nerevar groaned in displeasure at the loss, before gasping and moaning again as Voryn gave it playful licks and twirls of his tongue, following it up with another kiss.

“So hard for me, aren’t you…” He purred again, giving another long lick, letting his tongue flatten out. Nerevar’s legs were trembling as Voryn’s fingers stroked slowly against his sweet spot, the pleasure overwhelming his senses. When it felt like this, Nerevar couldn’t believe he hadn’t given in sooner. It felt mind numbing how wonderful it all was, unable to think of a single problem and instead focusing solely on the ecstasy he was hurtling towards. 

“Yes,” Nerevar moaned, “So hard for you, my cock is so hard for you…” Nerevar’s hips were bucking towards the warm, wet heat of Voryn’s mouth. “Please, suck me off again, I want to feel your mouth…” Voryn obliged him, his lips closing around it once more, suckling and flicking his tongue back and forth just like he knew Nerevar liked it. “Oh gods, yes!” Nerevar moaned freely, feeling his orgasm building, getting that much closer to the edge. 

“I’m close—I’m close—“ Nerevar clung to Voryn with one hand, cradling his head close, the other gripping one of the pillows under him so tight his knuckles were going white. “Please make me cum,” Nerevar pleaded, “Please, I wanna cum for you~” He had no shame anymore, focused solely on pleasure. “Please, I’m yours, I’m all yours!” He was fully sobbing in pleasure now, so very, very close…

With one last suck and flick of Voryn’s tongue, Nerevar was finally falling, chanting Voryn’s name the whole while. It was red hot, a burning intensity that came in waves as Voryn forced him to ride it out, his whole body trembling. It was absolute bliss as his mind went fully blank, every other coherent thought fizzling out.

He laid there panting for some time, basking in the afterglow of such a satisfying orgasm. It was even better than the one he had in his dream, a warm, fuzzy feeling settling throughout his body. 

“Good boy.” Voryn praised him, before leaning in close to kiss his cheek after moving back up his body after leaving a few love bites across his thighs. Nerevar hummed in satisfaction now, turning to give him a soft kiss in return.

“Your turn…?” Nerevar asked, and Voryn chuckled. 

“Almost,” He replied, slowly stripping himself as well. “There is one more thing to do.”

Nerevar raised a brow, before Voryn pulled out a small dagger. It was part of the temple room, used to give offerings, but Nerevar’s heart began pounding in fear seeing it.

“Hush,” Voryn soothed him instantly. “This isn’t to harm you, my Moon and Star…” he then brought the knife to his own wrist, slitting across it just enough for it to bleed. It wasn’t crimson red though, but instead bled a pure black—liquid ebony.

“Why…?” Voryn smiled warmly once again, offering his wrist.

“I’ve lost you once before,” Voryn replied, “I watched you be killed, powerless to stop it,” He almost sounded… Genuine like this. Vulnerable. 

Like it was his Voryn again. The man he loved in the flesh once more.

“I refuse to lose you again.” Voryn swore, his eyes shining. “I want to tie you to me, in body and spirit.” He then offered Nerevar his wrist. “You will be my greatest weakness after this, the person they’ll target first.” Voryn was almost pleading with him now. “Please, drink it.”

His reasoning was sound. It was true that when the people of Morrowind found out Voryn couldn’t be killed, they’d target Nerevar next. And even if it was a lie… What did it matter? Nerevar had already given in. Even if this would kill him and turn him into a mindless ash ghoul immediately, Nerevar was in too deep to run now. At least his final moments would have been spent receiving an absolutely mind numbing orgasm.

Nerevar leaned forward and took his wrist, licking the trail of the metallic liquid that spilled, before closing his mouth around it and drinking.

“Good boy…” Voryn whispered, stroking his hair. At first it was just unpleasant from how metallic it was, before Nerevar felt warmth blooming in him. Voryn then held his head firmly, keeping him there. Quickly, Nerevar realized why he had done so, as quickly the warmth turned to burning.

He struggled first, crying out in pain. It had been a lie—that sweet face had been a lie. It hurt so much Nerevar was convinced he was dying, burning from the inside out, but Voryn merely restrained him and forced him to drink.

“I’m sorry my love,” Voryn whispered. “It will hurt at first, becoming one with me…” Voryn also winced. “… It hurts me too…. But we… Need to endure it….”

Nerevar cursed him mentally, still trying to push him off, before his body went rigid, and then finally limp, now robotically drinking. 

Fuck, it wasn’t poison. Instead Voryn intended to use it to control his body. Luckily the pain was fading now, still a simmering warmth in him, but he was no longer sobbing in agony. Now it was a localized pain in his upper stomach, a dull ache.

“That’s it…” Voryn praised him. “I’m sorry my love for controlling your body like that,” Voryn apologized now, cooing softly and stroking Nerevar’s hair. “But it’s just for your safety.” 

Nerevar scowled inwardly, only the slightest furrow in his brow showing how actually angry he was as he was forced to obediently drink. “Don’t be angry with me Neht…” Voryn whispered, “… I’ll make it feel good too, in exchange.” 

The slow, simmering warmth then began to burn anew but this kind a much more delightful kind of fire. Pleasure licked every nerve in his body as he twitched and trembled, eyes rolling back.

“There, much better isn’t it?” Nerevar was climaxing untouched helplessly, unable to respond even if he wanted to. It was another long and overwhelming orgasm too, just as he had before, his thoughts turning off once more.

Finally, Voryn let the pleasure subside, before finally pulling his wrist away and freeing Nerevar’s body. Not like it mattered; he felt completely boneless from the intensity of it all.

“Here…” Voryn smiled warm once more, almost lovingly like he did back then. “Finally… You’re all mine entirely…”

“… Not yet,” Nerevar whispered back against Voryn’s lips, and Voryn stopped the impending kiss to look at him quizzatively. Nerevar decided to show him by wrapping a leg around Voryn’s hips, pressing their bodies closer together. “You still haven’t gotten inside me yet.”

Voryn smirked wide and dark at that, a sort of devilish smirk that made Nerevar excited so many times in the past. 

“You’re correct,” Voryn replied, his breath hot against Nerevar’s lips. “Let me correct that.”

This kiss was much more impassioned and desperate, the hunger Nerevar having expected previously. He was pinned down swiftly, Voryn pressing the head of his cock to Nerevar’s entrance.

“So wet…” Voryn muttered into Nerevar’s neck. “Oh, Neht…”

“You made me cum twice,” It was Nerevar’s turn to pure back, shifting them slightly so he could nibble on Voryn’s ear, “Now it’s your turn.”

“Yes,” Voryn hissed, finally rocking his hips forward, before moaning long and deep. “Oh Nerevar, Neht,” Voryn moaned, before tugging him into a short, messy kiss, “No matter how long we’ve been apart, being inside you makes me weak…”

“Even as a god~?” Nerevar moaned back as Voryn rocked in and out, trying to work himself deeper into Nerevar.

“Yes!” Voryn moaned louder, giving a form thrust down. “Even as a god—!” Voryn was thrusting wildly now, his last bit of self control snapping. It seemed calling him a god excited him more than Nerevar had expected. 

The thrusting was once again, mind numbingly blissful in how good it felt. He was so slick the glide was easy, but he saw stars every time Voryn thrust. 

“Your body will be mine completely,” Voryn moaned inbetween hot, passionate kisses. “All mine,” Nerevar was trembling, eyes rolling back as he moaned freely into the kiss as well, “In a way no one will ever get to have you!”

“Yes!” Nerevar was clinging to Voryn, trying to claw himself closer. “All yours, I’m all yours!”

“You’re going to have my heir.” Voryn demanded, his thrusts finally settling on a hard and fast pace. The sentence sent Nerevar that much closer toward the edge all over again. “You’re going to have only my children,” Nerevar knew Voryn would make sure of it, killing anyone who even thought about it, if their seed would even take. He already had corprus and now he’d drank Voryn’s blood. He wouldn’t put it past his lover to make sure Nerevar could only conceive with Voryn. “As many children as you want Neht—” Voryn kissed him passionately again and again, his breathing labored. 

“Cum inside me!” Nerevar pleaded, “Cum inside me—knock me up—!” Voryn moaned louder, his pace beginning to falter. 

“Neht—!” Voryn held him tighter and tighter, and Nerevar almost felt like the ground under him was trembling. “Get pregnant, get pregnant!” Voryn demanded, before finally his rapid thrusting stopped with a jerk of his hips, heat erupting in Nerevar. “Fuck…” Voryn swore, giving a few more shallow thrusts as he shot rope after rope inside Nerevar’s waiting body.

Nerevar had been furiously rubbing his own cock, but finally feeling Voryn spill his seed was enough to drive Nerevar over the edge. His lover was cumming inside him—making Nerevar’s body his. Voryn’s seed would take and Nerevar would finally be pregnant with his heir, a child with the man he loved like he’d always wanted.

He trembled as he came, mouth open and eyes completely glazed over in pleasure. His cunt spawned around Voryn’s cock, making Voryn groan.

“Milking me for every drop…” He panted, simply laying there and embracing Nerevar. 

Nerevar didn’t know how long they laid there. He simply was basking in the bliss that always followed their most intense lovemaking sessions. But, reluctantly, Voryn finally pulled out of him, rolling off him.

“Let me clean you up.” Nerevar whined in displeasure as Voryn stood up, walking over to a nearby water basin, disappointed from the loss of contact.

“Can’t we just lay here a while longer…?” Nerevar asked, and Voryn smiled. 

“As much as I’d love to,” Voryn brought over a wet rag, gently cleaning him up. He’d likely need a proper bath, but it was enough to let him redress. “It seems we have company.”

“Hm?” Nerevar asked, before glancing around suspiciously. The air was hazy from incense, but it was possible Voryn could still see them. “Outside, it seems like some people are trying very hard to get in, banging on the door and demanding you…” Nerevar scowled at that, the bliss fading and replaced by annoyance. “It’s probably some councilmen demanding I come out for a meeting…”

“Well then,” Voryn smirked, “Let’s go give them a meeting.” 

[heartsoulspiritelite]

Dominik Mysterio x Y/N

This one is not very good but eh ill post it anyway. Ill make a better one, idk when tho.

Female reader

Y/n = your name

N/n = Nick name

~

Summary-

Y/N and Dominik used to be best friends, they told each other everything, but once everything went south the Mysterio Family Y/n couldn't bring herself to forgive to him.

As she was walking around backstage, she bumped into the person she's been trying to avoid.

Dominik Mysterio.

~

Former Bestfriends

Y/N and Dominik used to be best friends, they told each other everything, but once everything went south the Mysterio Family Y/n couldn't bring herself to forgive to him. Not when he hurt his family like that.

When Y/n and Dom were friends she wasn't a pro wrestler but she supported him throughout his whole career, she was training with Rey Mysterio to beome a wrestler one day and she was so so grateful.

In 2023 Y/n got signed with the WWE. She couldn't be happier. she thanked Rey everyday for his help, without him she wouldn't be here.

She was quite nervous though. What if she ran into Dom backstage? Would he ignore her? Would he remember her? All these thoughts were running through her head as she was walking around backstage, They hurt.

As she was overthinking she didn't realise she walked into somebody- or a couple people actually.

"OMG IM SO SOR-" She tried apolagize before she realized who it was she bumped into.

She looked up and see the the person she'd been trying to avoid.

Dominik Mysterio.

"its alright.. wait Yn is it really you..?" He said in shock staring her up and down

"Yup! Nice to see you again. Bye" She tried to leave before one of the people beside him grabbed her arm

"Who the hell are you?!" The person who she knows is Rhea Ripley asks her.

She was scary, She truly terrified Y/n, She was really pretty though.

Dominiks eyes widened when he saw what was happening

"Mami calm down, Balor, Priest can you guys takes her to the locker room or something?" He pleaded

Mami. The name was just as cringy to hear it in person than it was on tv. She must admit though, Hearing it come from Dom's mouth made her blush, shes always had a crush on him, she never dare to tell him though, She'll take it to her grave unless he makes the first move, She doubts he will though, Seeing him all happy with Rhea... She'd never have a chance with guy like him. They aren't even friends anymore.

"Y/n come here" He motioned for her to follow him and he took her to an abanded locker room

They both sat down on the ground and just stared at one another waiting for someone to break the silence.

Dominik chose to.

"Look im sorry" He whispered

"You should apolagize to your dad" She whispered not looking him in the eye

"I know i should, but thats not why i was apolagizing. Look im so sorry for practically abandoning you and bringing you into all of these messes, I just miss you, I miss you so much n/n"

She teared up at his confession

"I-i miss you too Dom" Both of the superstars smiled at each other

"I can't believe you got signed. It about he time, congrats" He congratulated her

"Thanks" She giggled before continuing

"You look good by the way" She complimented him

His cheeks turned a rosy pink at her compliment.

"Thank you, so do you Y/n"

Y/n looked down, avoiding his gaze while picking at her shirt before she told him what was running through mind.

"I-i dont think we can be friends again" y/n mumbled

"What... Why not" Dominik asked sadly while shaking his head

"You're with the judgement day. They're your friends Dom, plus Rhea wont like me hanging out with you, I think its just better if we avoid one another, im sorry." She smiled at him numbly

"NO.. I was friends with you first, it has always been you n/n i dont need them, its all just Vince and triple H's plan. I need you" He rushed out standing up

Y/n stood up with him and grabbed him hands, looking him in the eye.

"It'll be alr-" She started before she got cut off

Dominik kissed her.

woah.

Y/n froze in shock before she kissed him back and grabbed his neck lightly to deepen the kiss while he put his hands on her waist..

She felt him smile against her lips.

"You don't know how long i've wanted to do that'' He mutters while looking dazed.

"Well i see why they call you dirty dom" she mocked him while smirking

"Shut up" he blushed

"I've loved you for so long"

"I love you too, Remember all i need is you, Its always been you"

~cross-posted on Wattpad & ao3 ~

[rainbowgaez]

long ramble because i just dropped my gf off at the airport and I am a fucking mess with too many thoughts in my brain

over the last couple weeks, i finally met one of my partners—the one ive been with longer than ive been with literally anyone else in my life. despite being together since mid 2016, this was the first time we both had the wherewithal to make a visit happen, and while that may seem like it took way too long, for a lot of reasons that you don't need to know, it couldn't have happened at a more perfect time.

she flew in on the 26th and immediately i knew we would get along just as easily as we had online for years before then. both of us have always talked about how quiet and introverted we are, but it was one of those things where i didn't know if we were going to truly vibe irl until it happened, even if both of us were pretty sure we would.

we always talked abt how the first car ride from the airport was going to be awkward—it's a 3 hour drive from my place to there. both of us are slow to work up to physical affection, but when i picked her up, it wasn't but like ten or twenty minutes into the ride before we were wrapped up in each other. it just clicked. that's so incredibly rare for me with anyone. even partners ive established intimacy with, i usually have to re-warm up to them after time apart. so the fact that we connected so quickly when we first met was so special.

im a pretty boring, solitary person. my favorite activities are ones in which it's quiet and i can do my own thing. this is always a bit scary for me. i don't want to bore anyone just because my brain only ever feels like engaging with what it wants. but that wasn't a problem with her—quite the opposite, actually. we could just sit there and quietly do our own thing in my room, and it felt every bit as special as it would if we went out and did things. there was no pressure for either of us. we settled into each other's patterns instantly. within days, it felt like she'd been living with us all along. i wished that were the case.

distance is hard. it's a lot of counting. how many miles apart you are. how many hours, days it would take to close the gap. how much time will it be before you can be together for real.

and then, when you plan a visit, it becomes about counting down, and that's so exciting. you start counting the months until it's time. before you know it, you're counting the weeks. it's something to look forward to. something to hang on to.

but the moment you meet, the countdown isnt exciting anymore. it gets a lot harder. you might still have weeks to count, but before you know it, weeks become days. days become hours. hours become minutes. minutes become mile markers, and mile markers become exits, exits become streets, streets become steps, and steps become seconds spent holding each other, waiting for the other to pull away because it's the last thing you want to do. but you have to. that's the only way to start the count over. and that sucks. because you dont get to know how long it's going to be until way later. but just the same, you don't know when the next countdown will be the last one. it's the most terrifying assurance there is.

i feel blessed that me, her, and all my partners exist in the same time, in a reality where we have the ability to connect to each other despite how unlikely the chances of us ever meeting were. i feel lucky to live in a world where, one day, a silly string of text like @nudist-squid can be the first name i know someone who will eventually become one of the most important people in my life by.

but at the same time, im heartbroken and devastated. it feels cruel that we met because of certain circumstances, and yet we exist so far away for those same reasons. and closing that gap takes so much from both of us, and there's no promise we can ever close it for good. but if I can help it, I certainly want to try.

this summer has been dogshit. ive been through so much unnecessary bullshit, and when things have been looking to improve, something else happens. but this was the most wonderful bookend to a dismal season i could have asked for.

thanks for reading.

[fight-the-corn]

sbi x reader part 8

A few days later, Wilbur reached out to me. I felt my phone buzz and when I checked it, I saw the following message:

W: hey! how r u?

I smiled as I responded.

O: im good, hbu?

The answer was instantaneous.

W: ive been good! u wanna come over to our house for dinner tmrw? we miss u!!

Dinner. Usually, I had to get food made for my parents. But, if I timed it right, I could feed them then sneak out?

O: what time were you thinking?

W: probs around six? if I wanna change it tho that's fine idc

O: any chance we could do seven, or is that too late?

W: great! that totally works!! looking forward to it!!

O: loved " great! that totally works!! looking forward to it!!"

That have me enough time to get food to my parents by six, then be at the Craft's house by seven. Call it stupid or selfish for choosing the villains, but at least they made me feel safe. I went to bed that night with a smile on my face for the first time in a while.

---

I got through the next day happier than normal, having something to look forward to. By early evening, food was done and two plates were made up. It wasn't suspicious that I didn't have a plate, I don't usually get one. My parents prefer to eat alone.

At six o'clock, I set their plates on the table, ran upstairs, and slipped out the window. My heart was pounding in my chest, terrified of the punishment I was risking by leaving. It was worth it though, I reminded myself. I was going to get to spend time with an amazing family, and I was going to have fun, and it was going to be awesome.

I made it to the Craft house by 6:30, knocking on the door. Tommy opened it, grinning. "THE WOMAN HAS ARRIVED! Come in, come in," he beckoned me inside. I smiled as he led me to the table where I sat, and Phil brought a plate over and they all sat around the table.

Dinner was fun. Lots of jokes, lots of smiling. No alcohol in sight. I was getting comfortable with the family. Techno suggested game night, then wiped the floor with us in Scattergories. After, Tommy insisted on Twister, which led to Phil calling colors and Wilbur just trying to get in Tommy's way as much as possible. I fell over second, after Tommy, because Wilbur had tripped him and I laughed so hard I fell. Phil then offered up Clue, which suprisingly, I won.

As all good things must come to an end, it was getting to the time I needed to get back home. Finally, I called it.

"Ok, I think it's time for me to go home."

" Awwww, one more game? "

"I'm sorry Wil, I have to go."

Phil stepped in. "Do you need a ride?"

" Yeah, actually, that would be awesome. "

"Ok, I'll take you home. Boys, you're on cleanup duty."

Tommy whined, but Tommy always whined so everyone ignored him.

---

The ride home was nice, I chatted quietly with Phil the whole way home. I learned about his love for gardening, and he told some stories about the boys that almost had me in tears I was laughing so hard. As relaxed as I had felt the whole evening, I couldn't shake the underlying fear that gripped me the whole time. What if my parents found out I was gone? What if something happens with the Crafts, and they decide they don't want me anymore? Even though I've lived with nobody in my corner for so long, it would be so much more painful now that I know what it's like to have people who I feel safe around. As we neared my house, I tentatively spoke.

"Is there any chance you could drop me off around the corner? My parents kind of don't know I went out." I ducked my head as I spoke, not sure if how he would react. Would he be mad? Hate that I was lying to my family?

"Why didn't you tell them?"

" Um, they can just be a little strict sometimes, but I really wanted to come to dinner. I swear, I don't usually do stuff like that. "

"What would happen if they caught you?"

"They probably wouldn't be happy with me. I'd just get in trouble."

" Your shirt slipped during twister."

I froze. He silently pulled over and turned to face me.

"Why is your stomach so bruised?"

I open my mouth, then close it. "I'm clumsy?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Did you know that I used to be an emergency foster placement care parent? I've seen after effects of some bad homes."

I blink, then duck my head. "I have it under control."

He's quiet for a moment, then: "We can't help you if you don't let us."

My eyes fill with tears at the gesture, because not only was this the first time anyone has offered to help me, but Phil is offering his help after I've been nothing but a pain, spending days in his house recovering, eating his food, crashing his family game nights.

"I understand it feels like a really big thing, but honestly, any paperwork is worth it. We have the money and the resources, and our family loves you. You would be safe. "

I debated it. I really did. I looked up and met his eyes.

"What if I just promise to call you if it gets too bad? "

"I don't want you to have to get to the point of too bad. Also, I don't know if you can fairly identify 'too bad'."

"I called someone that night in the snow."

"Only after you had been out there for multiple hours."

I stay quiet at that. He has a point.

"Look, just call me if you need, okay? Any of us, anywhere, anytime. We can help you."

I nod.

"And I mean that. Even if your parents catch you sneaking back in tonight, or something happens at one in the morning, or you're two cities over, call us. Ok?"

" Okay. Thank you Phil. "

"Of course. Anytime."

I get out of the car. He gives me a hug. I turn, and walk towards the house that is the source of all my darkest fears.