#and look at that. im not as terrified anymore but in the off chance that my worst case scenario comes tru ill be Prepared

[icarusredwings]

Gonna have to reject your offer of He/ It cheif. Managment (Logan) would kill you for even inferring the idea.

Other people would come along and be like "What is that thing!??"

And you would just see Logan shift instantly from "Yeah ill give you a can of beans and a place to rest" to "Get the fuck off my property before you become his dinner" all while Wade is just... sitting there... behaving??

"He's not a THING! Thats my husband you asshole! And if you don't like it then fuck off!" Followed by Gabby going "Thats my papa you jerk!"

"It's just a zombie? You're married to a sombie!?"

"Again- HES my husband. I said till death do us part except death really isnt his thing so im stuck with him. You got a problem with that!?"

It makes Wade always very happy to be defended even though he surely could do it himself. For the most part things are pretty tame.

But he DOES clap a bit when logan mentions feeding him. 'Ooh yay, I get fed multiple times today' kind of way since Logan is very strict about resources, Wades is not allowed to just eat whatever because he'd probably just eat everything.

Sometimes if Logan forgets to feed him, He'll come to Logan and give him this specific whine, like a dog begging for bacon scraps only for Logan to feel terrible. "Oh my god Im sorry we were so busy today and- ... You're starving and you're not trying to bite me... you're trying so hard.. aw fuck wade.. im so sorry.. what am I going to do with you?"

"Mmm.... rawhrah?"

"Right. Feed you before you go insane. Got it."

Some days are like this. When he's clearly much more human. Being permitted cuddles and nuzzles, to play with gabby and to sleep in the bed. It's very rare that Logan lets him sleep in the bed. But it's the happiest day for wade when he is. And its not like they can even do anything (bro lost his dick miles ago and has no clue where the fuck it went but it just fell off somewhere and now hes a ken doll. This is great for those of you who like transfem wade COUGH COUGH)

But even if it didn't fall off its not like they could do anything anyway, They can't even kiss on the lips anymore. Logan has a theory that it's similar to rabies, where the infection has to be spread through saliva into an open cut or your mouth, etc.

So the nights he's allowed, they honestly just cuddle and stare at each other for a bit before sleeping. Usually, Wade is the little spoon because having Wade behind him is dangerous.

Wade heavily sees affection as a reward now, so getting to hug the girls is a massive thing for him, getting to sit there and watch gabby draw him is a big thing, hell Logan will sometimes even let Gabby play with wade out front because Wade has whole ass attacked other zombies whos tried to hurt gabby before.

One time Laura shot him in the head because gabby thought it would be a good idea to play "pretend zombie" and Wade didnt put two and two togerher that acting 'feral' as Logan calls it, outside with gabby would be a bad idea.

"What the fuck did you do that for!?"

"He was feral and going after gabs!!"

"Nu uh!! We were playing and you killed him for no reason! Youre so mean!"

Logan just sighs as gabby runs to her bed because it upsets her greatly when they have to 'keep wade in check' she fully understands that hes dangerous but deep down thats still her papa and watching your big sissy kill your papa is not something most 13 year olds would enjoy.

".. L.. you gotta stop wasting ammo. You know if it was really a code red that wouldn't do anything anyway. You have to decapitate him if you even want a flying chance. See?? Hes already up again... hi sweetie..."

Wade, whos sat up and now giving them a confused look of 'what did I do? 🥺'

"...arr Arawh"

"Im sorry, wade.." Laura squeaks out, still holding the shot gun. Shes just terrified of loosing gabby is all. To her, gabs is her responsibility.

"Rah awr rahrrr..."

"I know. She's sorry. She's just.. scared. No more playing that okay?"

"Mmh..😔"

There is infact some drift between laura and wade but neither of them mean it. Really they dont. If gabs is put of the picture Laura still smiles and talks to him but its like the moment gabby is near him Laura goes full protection mode and over reacts.

And FOR THE RECORD i have never seen the walking dead but its terrifying how accurate that picture is.

The longest Wade has been unconscious is probably 18 hours but this was before getting to the girls.

They have witnessed the exact thing you're saying, though. With Wade tied down in the shed, on his leash, and handcuffed, trying to talk to him, yelling at him to snap out of it because he's scaring the girls. Something different about feral wade from the other zombies though is it seems he's smarter, knawing on his handcuffs while most will just flail their arms helplessly. While his teeth dont do shit to the cuffs, its scary for Logan because it makes him think that one day he might actually have to find a way to kill him permanently.

He can undo locks, open cans, do many things that the others cant and he wants to believe its just Wades human part being stronger because in some weird way hes half mutant human and half zombie. A weird combo that makes him much different.

Laura, unlike gabby, too is terrified of one day wade going feral while their father is out collecting more supplies or hunting and she wont know what to do.

Wade isnt fast though. Thats the ONLY good thing. Hes smart, cant die, and is starving to death all the time. But hes slow. Infact he dosn't heal properly. His leg is half broken still from the last time it fell off and seems to barely be receptive to his brains nerves telling it to move so he lowkey drags it, only being able to use it to stand up right and take very small steps.

When he DOES finally come back hours later, He cries. Apologizes, begs for forgiveness, and most times is actually SCARED of Logan. While he hates it emotionally, he knows that logically it was a good thing for Wade to flinch away from him after being locked up.

A scared and fed zombie is a well-behaved zombie...

And before anyone comes here to say this is dehumanization of what ever else- HES LITERALLY NOT HUMAN ANYMORE.

Case closed. Besides I think wade would worry more about the fact of him trying to kill his kids then the fact hes leashed to a wall.

I dont CARE that it's November 9th and "Halloweens over" ITS MY BIRTHDAY MONTH ILL POST IF I WANT TOO

Anyway.

Thinking about apocolpse au.

Wade getting bitten by a zombie, Logan freaking out, Wade dying, and him coming back (Again)

"Didn't you just die?? I literally fucking burried you!!"

And wades like:

"Of course. Man, God REALLY hates you dosn't he?"

And he's bassically the same person except just saying, "Rahhah har ran re" (translation: I think the devil doesn't want me either)

"What?? Oh for fucks sake... tell me you're kidding.."

"Rah?" 🤔

"Great so now you stink more and you can't talk. Fucking lovely."

"Mmmmh..." 🥺 (would you still love me if I was a zombie?)

"*sighs, blushes and grumbles how insane this is and how much of a bad idea this is* Fine! Come on...."

"Raah!!" 😄

And sometimes his limbs fall off because I think it would be funny if you just saw him stop, turn around, pick up his arm and shove it back into place like a dislocated shoulder. (Marvel Magic)

But its very obvious that Wade is still consious and so logan leads him around, puts a leash on him, ties him up when he goes to sleep the first few nights so wade dosn't eat him, sometimes luring him with a piece of his thigh or telling him he'll feed him soon to make him behave.

The only thing about this resource wise is that it seems Wade is a bottomless pit, not ever able to get enough. It's like all the nutrients just pass right through him, so he can't get fed meals daily, but Logan will share at least one bite of his food. It makes Wade so happy and way more "wade like" than zombie.

Logan has learned that the hungrier Wade gets the worse it would be, snapping at logan a few times.

"Grr-"

"Aye! That's enough outta ya"

"GggRah!"

"Hey!! I said no! Bad! Bad wade!"

"Mmmh??"

"Bad!!"

"Mmh....rahah.."

"I forgive you. But stop trying to bite me. I feed you, don't I? I hold your hand and tell you that I love you?"

Wade is actually extremely friendly for a zombie (duh) and still yaps at logan except its nonsense. Logan tries hard to understand him and talk back.

He holds his hand sometimes, even lays next to him only to scold him if he gets too bitey. This is hard because wade already had a biting issue and seeing as he practically ate anything or anybody now it was more difficult.

"...aahh-"

"Wade- No."

"Ggr.. raahh"

"Wade! No! Bad."

"Mmmh..."

"Ill feed you tomarrow. Don't bite me mkay? You wanna hurt me?"

He shakes his head like a dog shaking off from a bath, or that ate a bee.

"Then don't bite me."

"Mmh? Mrah?"

"No. No kisses right now. Im still not even sure if thats safe.."

"Mmmh...🥺 ahrrah?"

"No, not even a tiny one."

"Mm...😔"

Until Logan grunts and pecks his hand. "There. Happy?"

"🙂‍↕️mh"

"Good."

Honestly Logan felt bad, pitited him. No matter what food he ate it wasnt enough substance to sustain him and sometimes Logan would wake up to find him eating a different zombie that made the mistake of trying to eat Logan.

You ever wake up in the morning, lose your zombie boyfriend, call for him only to walk outside and see him knawing on some poor chaps arm like a happy puppy who found a chicken leg? Logan has. Many times. And he wishes his phone would charge so he could take a picture of it but unfortunately theres no electricity in the post apocalypse world.

This being said Logan is like- THE perfect guy for apocalypse au because he can smell everything and hear anyone before they even get to you, he has better wilderness survival skills then anyone I know and he'll never NOT have a weapon on him because of his claws. The only downside is that he's tired easily, needs a lot of food, and would lowkey be withdrawing from his tabccao and alchool, therefore very moody.

"Stupid fucking apocalypse having to happen when im fucking alive!! Why can't I just NOT live through ONE major historical event! Is that too fucking much to ask? One damn decade where everything is fine and dandy and- WADE! Get your ass away from that!! It's radioactive!! For fucks sake!"

"Rahahrah?"

"NO!! You can not become Spiderman! That's not how that works!"

"Aawr..😔"

The whole thing is they're on a quest to find Laura and Gabby, because when everything went to shit, they were on a cabin trip and now Logans brain is itching because he dosn't know where his babies are and its driving him insane. Once he finds them, they're gonna shack up somewhere with food and animals to hunt, and hes gonna make a little shed outside for Wade to sleep because he'll kill him if he bites one of the girls.

He dosnt care that much about himself really and he hates himself deep down for not being able to trust wade anymore but even wade dosnt trust wade, sometimes wandering off on purpose, staying about 30 feet away from him at all times, growling and giving Logan that glazed over look of unconsiousness. The only good thing about this, though, is after he removes himself from the idea of hurting Logan (because if logaj were to become infected - HA! Your all fucked. Utterly fucked. The whole humanoid species would go extinct because he'd kill anything that moved) he feels more trusting of him and it's not uncommon for them to hug after either. Afterall Wade- Some how???- is still wade and is very affectionate and sensitive when its not returned.

This whole thing also makes him think worse about himself, kicking reflective objects or staring at himself in a shop window in utter shock and disgust with a face of 'thats me..?' While logans raiding the place for supplies.

Did you know zombies can cry? Well, Wade could. Not a lot, only able to get a bit of liquid from dehydration, but sometimes Logan will catch him just... sitting there.. crying. Upset with himself for being bit. Upset with himself for trying to bite logan all the time. Upset at how ugly he is. Upset that he's starving all the time. Upset that he can't even talk to anyone, and Logan just has to guess what he's saying 90% of the time. Bro is literally

When they DO find Laura and Gabby, the girls are doing great. Laura was going to blow wades head off until Gabby ran in the shot, hugging him instantly, only to be ripped away.

"Of course my dad is the weirdo married to a zombie." Laura grunts, but is secrelty happy that wade is still 'alive'

Gabby, being as young as she is, thinks it's so SICK that her dad is a zombie now, giggling when he talks to her and holding his hand. She's not allowed near him for long, and not at all by herself, but Gabby bassically becomes Wades number one supporter, defending him when he messes up and snaps at laura.

"He's just hungry!! He's not bad! It's not bad to be hungry!" She'll say. "You wouldn't kill me if I was hungry.." she tells her bigger, more survival oriented sister whos suggested putting wade out of his misery, for his own sake. "I tried that... he found me again 3 days later." Logan tells her with a pang in his chest. It had taken everything in him to kill him the first time, and sobbed himself to sleep the next 2 days. By the third when he noticed Wade following him from a distance he couldn't believe it.

Not even the apocalypse could keep them away from each other..

[notwaitinginthecorner]

The best part abt being a paranoid emotional wreck is that I have a rly strong ability to ground myself bc ive been doing it for so long...I can be cool, calm, and collected I just usually need 10-20mins after the inciting incident

[whatsk-poppinhomies]

Pairing : idol!Kim Seungmin x F!Reader TW : pregnancy ; unmentioned pregnancy complications ; Seungmin is a jerk ; Changbin is a really good friend ; general angst ; Word Count : 2.9k Request : AHHH THANK YOU!! im happy that you like my request🥺🥺🥺🤍 hm bang chan would be good! he’s my bias after all HAHHAH buttt honestly speaking, i’d more than love to read about seungmin’s, minho’s or felix’s too <3 take your time!!! A/N : Finally making Seungmins in the angsty skz dad series!! (If you all want to read for anymore of the members, let me know!!)

There was a distance growing between you and Seungmin, one that you attributed to his busy schedule and his lack of adequate sleep, the constant practice and promotions, it had taken a toll on him and it looked as though it were slowly starting to take a toll on the relationship as well. 

That’s why the little stick that you held in your hand felt more like a saving grace, it was something that would save your relationship, it would bring Seungmin closer to you. The both of you had talked occasionally about starting a family together in the future, and while it wasn’t that far off in the future, you felt like things would be okay. You loved each other, that’s what mattered. You hoped that maybe he’d get a couple days off to spend with you while you both processed the news together and started to plan things out, you were really hoping for that. 

He walked through the front door and before you could even open your mouth to say hi, he was walking to the bedroom. “Min!” You called out to him, and you heard the heavy sigh escape him before he turned around to face you, leaning against the wall and staring at you with no expression at all. “Aren’t you hungry? Have you eaten yet?” It wasn’t what was originally supposed to be said, but the way he was looking at you had you backing down almost instantly. 

“I ate with Hyunjin and Chan before I came home. I’m fine.” He grumbled, turning back around to go into the room, but you called for him again, desperate to hold his attention just a little longer, at least long enough to get out what you needed to say. “What? I’m really tired, Y/N, just say it.” 

He was so short fused nowadays, you weren’t sure what happened today that had him so annoyed, but you were hoping that the announcement would have him softening up. “I’m pregnant, Min…” You whispered, and even under his cold gaze, you couldn’t ward off the smile that crept to your lips and tugged at the corners. 

“Congratulations.” He mumbled, and your smile slowly dropped as you took a step closer to him, his lack of emotion was absolutely terrifying right now to you. “Did you tell Changbin already?” The question had you pausing, your head tilting to the side, wondering why he was brought up right now. “I’ll congratulate him tomorrow too.” 

“Wh-What are you talking about?” You quizzed, grabbing onto his shirt to keep him from walking away. “Seungmin stop!” You pleaded when he tried to pull away, your eyes already welling with tears as you tugged against his shirt once more. “What are you talking about… seriously…” You tried not to whine, but you couldn’t help it. This was supposed to be a special moment, but it was all spiraling down and you didn’t even understand why. 

“Stop fucking pretending just once!” He said sternly, grabbing your hand, and although his anger was palpable, his touch was still gentle as he moved your hand off of him. “I know what’s going on, and I thought that maybe, just maybe you’d finally be honest. I guess not.” He huffed, running his hand through his hair as he back stepped away from you. “I see the way you are together… I’m not stupid… I didn’t say anything… Because he’s my hyung and I tried to ignore it but…” His teeth gritted together as his eyes squeezed shut, his cheeks and his nose turning red as he tried to hold back his tears. “But I can’t ignore this… I fucking can’t.” 

You weren’t even given a chance to deny it as he brushed past you, heading right back out the door he had just come through. How could he think… How could he assume such a thing? You were devastated, you were furious, and now you were alone… Left on your own to raise a baby that you thought would put all the pieces back together. You just didn’t know how scattered those pieces were. 

///

Work was beyond awkward and the tension was excruciating for all the other members who had not a single idea about what was going on. The only person who thought he knew what was going on was Seungmin, but his frame of thought couldn’t be further from the truth. It didn’t help though that after he had walked out, you had called none other than Changbin to come over and talk to you. 

Bin was one of your best friends, and apparently that meant that the two of you were together, even though most of your conversations with him before all of this happened had been about Seungmin. Hell, even now your conversations were about Seungmin because you couldn’t stop thinking about him, especially now that his child was growing inside of you. 

Changbin knew what was really going on, and he was absolutely livid. He wanted to talk to Seungmin, but you were adamant that he didn’t. Seungmin would either figure shit out on his own and come around, or he just wouldn’t, and you knew that Changbin coming to him would only make things worse. 

“Did you eat today?” Changbin called as he walked through the front door, carrying a bag of take out in one arm as he pushed the door shut with his other. “I hope you didn’t because I got a bunch of your favorites and we’re gonna chow down!” He cheered, kicking off his shoes and running over to the couch where you were sitting. 

“Did you bring that one drink from the office? You know the one you had yesterday that you told me not to drink but I took a little sip and it was really good so I finished it and then told you that it spilled because you were wondering where it was?” You rambled on, taking a deep breath once you had finished the question, your smile so sweet as your hands clasped in front of you, but Changbins eyes went wide as he stared at you. 

“You drank it?” He squeaked, his bottom lip jutting out as he playfully pouted. You quickly apologized and his pout quickly faded, turning into a bright smile, pulling you into a hug. “It’s alright shmooks, big boy is just like his dad and can’t go without his americano.” 

At the mention of your son's father your shoulders slumped, your throat tightening. Any mention of Seungmin had you on the verge of tears, and Changbin quickly shook his head, running his hands up and down your arms to try to calm you. “I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have brought him up…” He quickly stated, his face getting closer to yours to make sure that no tears had formed yet. “I’ll bring you home one of the drinks tomorrow… Let’s just forget all about this, eat all of this very yummy and very expensive food, and we can rewatch your favorite movie for the fifth time in a row this week.” 

You snorted softly, rolling your eyes at the number he had given as you lightly pushed against him. “It hasn’t been five times… It’s like… Seven. And I’m going for eight, so pass me the remote and I’ll get it started up. Remember, take your bathroom break now because I hate pausing it.” 

“Pfft!” Changbin sounded, grabbing the bags of take out off the coffee table and placing them on the couch between the both of your legs. “Says the one who has to pause the movie every fifteen minutes to run to the bathroom.” He teased, and you quickly forgot about the Seungmin comment, mainly because you had to keep swatting Changbins hand out of your bag to stop him from stealing your fries. Having Changbin around was a nice way to forget about what a mess your life was right now. He was the greatest friend, he was like a brother to you, and you were thankful that even though you and Seungmin were on the outs, Changbin had decided to stay in your corner, to help you get through this time. 

///

“You never talk about Y/N…” Hyunjin said, the comment coming from seemingly nowhere, he himself came from out of nowhere as Seungmin made his way to the small cafe in the office, trying his best to avoid Hyunjins prying comments. “I haven’t heard you even mention her the past six months… That’s crazy… I haven’t seen her at the dorms either.” Hyunjin paused for a moment, and Seungmin quickly picked up his speed, hoping that he’d get away from his hyung before any more questions were asked, but Hyunjin started sprinting to catch up. “Don’t tell me you guys broke up… You two were the cutest! Oh man… No wonder you haven’t been smiling as much… Dammit. What happened?” 

“Oh my god!” Seungmin groaned loudly, coming to a sudden halt to whip around and face Hyunjin. “We broke up! Yes! I’m sure it was a mutual agreement considering she’s pregnant… And the kid isn’t mine… It’s Changbins and I wasn’t going to keep pretending that everything was okay and be a father to a kid that isn’t mine. Okay?! Does that answer all of your questions?!” He took a deep breath, shoving his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants as he started walking again, feeling Hyunjins presence right behind him, clearly following him still. “Look, I don’t care if you follow me… Just… Don’t bring her up. It still hurts to talk about her.” 

Hyunjin nodded slowly, but he was quiet, too quiet, and Seungmin knew that the silence meant that he was thinking, and he seemed like he was thinking a little bit too hard. His tongue clicked against the roof of his mouth as he shook his head. “It just doesn’t make any sense… I know you don’t want to talk about her but… She just doesn’t seem like she’d do something like that to you, and I know Changbin wouldn’t do that.” The last thing Seungmin wanted to hear were excuses made to make you and Changbin seem innocent, especially from someone who didn’t even know the full story. “Seriously! Seungmin, listen!” 

“No, I don’t think I want to.” Seungmin muttered, walking as fast as he could down the hall, but Hyunjin wasn’t the best at taking hints, especially when he felt like he had something to say. “For the love of god, will you stop! You of all people would know considering you live in the same dorm as him. She was always over there! Stop trying to protect them!” 

“You’re right! I do know, because I do live in the same dorm!” Hyunjin retorted, keeping up the same pace as Seungmin, completely passing by the cafe, now wandering aimlessly through the halls as they argued. “She came over all the time to talk to him about you! The last couple times she sounded upset… Saying that it seemed like you were pulling away and she didn’t know why… And Changbin told her that it was probably just the stress from getting ready for the comeback. They were like siblings, we couldn’t get them to shut up… And the very last time… Oh my god, it’s all adding up now!” Hyunjins eyes went wide and his mouth fell open, his hands gripping onto Seungmins shoulders. “The last time she came over, she was asking Changbin about how he thought you’d react if she told you she was pregnant. She said she wasn’t sure yet if she was… But Changbin said that you’d be excited… And she said… She said she’d take a test the next morning… And I haven’t… Seen her since… Oh… My… GOD! You idiot!” 

Why would Hyunjin lie? He had no reason to… He would gain absolutely nothing if he helped fix the relationship… That’s how Seungmin knew he was being honest. “Oh… Shit, what do I do? You’re a romantic guy, come on, help me out!” Now he was panicking. He didn’t know the first thing to do, especially considering he had been actively ignoring you for six excruciatingly long months. 

“Dude… This is way different than forgetting a birthday or an anniversary… You denied your child and then, on top of that, accused her of cheating and claimed the baby was someone else’s, and not just any someone… But one of the other guys! You can’t just buy her roses and be like sorry! This requires communication.” Hyunjin patted Seungmins shoulder with gritted teeth, wincing ever so slightly. “Good luck.” 

///

Changbin stood in your kitchen, your apron wrapped around his waist as he worked on making lunch for you. Neither he, nor you, were expecting any guests, which is why he was so confused when he heard the rapid knock at the door. It was probably another package, you did enjoy doing online shopping for the baby when you couldn’t sleep at night, and the delivery man probably knocked so hard to get someone’s attention. It was about to rain, and a soaking package was the absolute worst. 

He didn’t bother to take off the apron as he rushed to the door and threw it open, his hands already outstretched to receive the package, but all he got was the view of a very nervous Seungmin. “So… This is… Where you’ve been all week…?” Seungmin questioned as he looked Changbin over, eyeing the pink ruffled apron before moving his eyes back up to meet his hyungs. 

“Yes. I’ve been helping her, and I know what you’ve been thinking this entire time, and I just want you to know that you’re wrong. I might be able to be cordial with you while we’re working… But I’m pissed…” Changbin said, flexing his muscles in the doorway as if to block Seungmin from getting inside. “You need to go now, she doesn’t need this kind of stress.” 

Seungmin refused to move though, he refused to leave, standing like a statue on the front porch as he glared at his hyung. “What are you? Her dad? Just move, she’s carrying my kid, I have the right to see her.” He tried to push past Changbin, but it proved pointless against the much stronger man who simply pushed him back with a sarcastic chuckle. 

“Oh, so now you accept the fact that it’s your kid.” Changbin snarkily retorted, closing the front door as softly as he could behind him before leading Seungmin off the porch to stand in the middle of the yard. “You don’t even know what she’s having. You don’t know what her number one craving was during the entire pregnancy. You don’t know how much she cried… How much she still cries over you… You don’t know anything and now you just decide to come back six months later? You’re a little too late, Seungmin.” 

“Why…? Why am I late?” It was a question that Changbin hadn’t been expecting, but Seungmin needed answers, he needed any and every answer he could get right now. “Are you two… Together? Is that what happened? Is that what this is? Huh?!” His voice was gradually growing louder, and Changbins hand shot out to cover Seungmins mouth, much to the younger man's surprise. 

“See, that’s your problem. Even now, you just can’t let it go.” Even though his voice sounded calm, his physical demeanor showed just how stressed, just how angry he was. “You’re like my brother, I’d never do something like that to you… And she’s literally like my sister… I love her and I care about her… And I care about the baby… Which is why I can’t let you in right now. She’s not doing well, and she can’t handle the stress.” 

As if on queue, dark clouds rolled in across the sky, completely blocking the sun as the rain started to come down. It didn’t even start as a drizzle, it went from clear skies to a complete downpour in an instant. “What do you mean she’s not doing well? Just… tell me that much… Please… Is she going to be okay? Will the baby be okay?” 

“I wish you cared this much six months ago…” Changbin muttered, running his hand through his rain soaked hair as he sighed heavily. “I have to make her lunch… I’ll tell you about it later, I’ll call you.” And it wasn’t like he was being given any other options, his only choice was to go back home and wait for Changbins call. He just had one more question. 

“Hyung…” Seungmin called out as Changbin walked up the stairs, causing him to stop at the center of the porch, not even turning around. “Is it a girl or a boy…?” 

“It’s a boy…” Changbin answered softly, the answer being carried to Seungmin through the wind that whipped around him from the storm. He said nothing else as he went back inside, leaving Seungmin to stand alone in the center of the yard. 

A son. He had always wanted a boy, he had talked about it with you before during one of your late night conversations when the two of you were barely even conscious, but his mind had run wild with dreams of the future, of holding his son for the first time, teaching his boy to play baseball in the park and taking him to baseball games to cheer for his favorite team. Now those dreams were as dark and hazy as the clouds that hung above him. All he could do now was wait, wait for a call, wait for an answer… Wait for you just as you had been waiting for him. 

[suckerforblondeathletes]

Its you, it always has been - Caitlin Clark .2

Caitlin Clark x teammate reader

Summary: Caitlin shows up to Kate house to get reassurance from her friend. One thing leads to another she confronts Connor and confesses.

Warnings: Connor, cheating?, Kissing, hinting to sex

Authors note: This is ass but enjoy!

“Damn what happened to you” Kate says with a laugh as she opens the door wider to let Caitlin in. She hasn’t seen Caitlin look this shocked in a while. It has been two days since the Connor and shower incident. Lets just say y'all woke up together..

“Am I gay?” Kate laughs out loud at Caitlins words. “Oh my god Caitlin, I don’t know.” Kate can barely get the sentence out from all of the laughing. Never heard her friend say something like this. “KATE I FUCKED ONE OF OUR TEAMMATES AND I LIKED IT AND I THINK I HAVE FEELINGS FOR HER BUT IM WITH CONNOR AND I DONT EVEN FUCKING LIKE HIM BUT I LOVE THIS GIRL SO MUCH” Caitlin screams out in one breath. Making Kate’s laughing stop immediately and her face drop.

“Oh, umm okay.” Kate says, still in shock on what just happened. “Well, umm come and sit.” She gestures to the grey couch. Caitlin practically runs to it and faces Kate, putting her hands on Kate’s knee for her to be serious. “Kate, I liked it. She told me she did as well and she said she would do it again if she had the chance.” “Who?” Kate asks like a teenage girl in middle school, hearing the latest gossip her friend is spilling. “Promise you won’t say anything.” Immediately after Caitlin says it Kate throws up her pinky. “I promise”

“Okay, it’s ____” Caitlin says under her breath, almost inaudible but Kate heard it, she knew she heard it when Kate gasped like she just witnessed a crime scene. “Be so for real.” She said. Not believing the brunette. “Kate I’m dead fucking serious. And I’m in love with her. Is that gay?” Caitlin asks furrowing her brows asking the question. “Yeah that’s really gay Cait. So what are you gonna do?” Seconds pass before Caitlin answers “I don’t know. What will the public think?” “If it’s true love you feel for her, it doesn’t matter what they think”It feels like a century before Caitlin speaks again“You know what. Fuck it.” She says before jumping off Kate’s couch and running out the door. “Text me!” Kate screams before the door shuts.

-

Caitlins Pov:

I take a deep breath looking at our apartment. I’m about to do this, I don’t know what will happen. To be honest, I’m fucking terrified.

I grab my key and open the door. Connor is sitting on the couch. Not alone.

“Wow” I say, clapping my hands and slowly walking into the living room. “God!” He jumps, apparently very focused on the blonde on his chest. The naked one in fact. “Caitlin! What the fuck are you doing here!? I thought you left!” “It’s my apartment Connor. It was ours! But now it’s mine. Get out or I’m calling the cops!” I scream at him. The girl on his chest, well not anymore, looking absolutely terrified as she runs to grab her stuff and leaving quickly.

“Your gonna kick me out of my house?!” He screams at me. It doesn’t affect like it used to. “Do you pay bills? Do you clean? Do you cook? No you don’t. So get the fuck out.” He rolls his eyes at me, knowing he can’t fight me on that. “You’re so fucking sick. I hope you fucking die. I hope you loose all your fans doing this. They will see how abusive and toxic you are.” “Oh I’m sure they will, get the fuck out. Take your shit with you.”

I stand at the glass door, watching him and that girl walk away. I feel like my past just walked away from me. He was supposed to be my future. But I’ve found that somewhere else, I’ve found someone else. Some who loves me and cares for me. Someone I deserve.

－

Reader Pov:

I pull up to her apartment after her text. I run up the steps to see her at the door. We make eye contact through the glass door. I see tears start to fill her eyes as she send me a smile. She did it.

I rush to open the door and when I do I wrap my arms around her neck quickly. Hers going to their home at my waist. “I’m proud of you, you did what needed to be done.” I say, pushing on the back her head to be deeper in my neck. “I love you.” She says in my neck. My heart drops. She pulls her face out of the crook of my neck to look in my eyes. “I love you too” I pull our faces to meet.

Our lips lock perfectly. Like a puzzle, waiting to be solved. Questions are silenced, the world goes quiet. Nothing but our screaming love for each other. She pulls away to look in my eyes “I love you."

－

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

hi hi hello im back with my ‘raidon beef bs!! can i get kieran and mc having some sort of argumentative confrontation when mc first comes to blueberry that almost gets physical before the mc’s alpha koraidon very angrily gets kieran to back off? -🧃

"[Y/n]..."

Looking to Kieran, your eyebrows furrowed at the hateful gaze he was sending you, teeth gnashed together.

You could tell he wanted to desperately say something to you--for having the nerve to show up at his school after what you did to him back in his homeland.

He was shocked that you came to BB Academy at all, before he saw this as his chance to show you how much he's changed and how strong he became. He even permitted you to challenge the Elite Four directly, growing impatient as he was ready finally crush you in-battle.

You, on the other hand, were a bit irritated at this new "persona" of his.

As far as you're concerned, he didn't need to do all of this. He didn't need to be petty and cruel to innocent league club members who don't live up to his standards. He didn't need to dismiss his sister so rudely and act like she once did.

Of course, you feel bad about what happened in Kitakami. Maybe you could've told him about Ogerpon much sooner and let him have a few wins...but this was too much.

Now he was being a straight-up bully. And you utterly despise those types of people.

"You better not go losing to anyone until our battle." Kieran huffed.

"Pssh, like I'd ever lose.." You lightly scoffed, deciding to match his energy.

Although when you looked back at him, you could see a forced grin forming on his face, spreading from ear-to-ear.

It could easily rival a Gengar's.

"Good. I'm not a little kid anymore. And you'll know it when I show you how the best of the best battle." He vowed, turning on his heel and preparing to walk away.

"Kiki!" Carmine gasped in outrage. "You shouldn't talk to [y/n] like that."

You were about to tell her not to intervene, as you didn't wanna see the siblings' relationship fall into further disarray because of this, but what Kieran said next broke the straw on the Numel's back for you.

"Shut it, sis-"

"Look, you can be mad at me all you want. But don't you dare take it out on everybody else."

His scowl deepened as he stared dead straight at you. "What did you say?"

"You heard me. "You stepped closer to him in challenge, fed up with his attitude. "And you're right. You're not a little kid anymore....you're a spoiled little brat who's mad that he didn't get what he wanted. When are you really gonna grow up and stop this charade, huh?"

For a moment he looked genuinely shocked that you're talking to him this way, but then his eyes darkened. "Don't. This isn't some charade. You made me like this-"

"Oh don't give me that. I didn't tell you to act like a bully. You did that to yourself. I was only trying to enjoy a nice trip away from Paldea until you decided to put me up on a pedestal." The words kept spilling out, and you didn't care that he was fuming more and more by the second. "Then you accuse me of ruining your life??"

"Stop it.."

"I get it, you wanna be like me. You wanna do what I can. But at least I don't go around throwing tantrums every time I lose-"

"SHUT UP!! JUST SHUT UP!!" Kieran suddenly turned around, hands grabbing the front of your uniform as he yanked you in close. His eyes were full of rage. "I'm through with being like you...I'm gonna be BETTER THAN YOU IN EVERY WAY!!! AND MAYBE YOU'LL KNOW HOW I FELT!!"

Although his screams initially startled you, and began attracting a small crowd, you tried your best not to show any fear.

But even so, this new side to him was terrifying to witness.

Maybe you pushed his buttons a little too much.

"Get your hands off me, Kieran." You warned firmly, gently grasping his wrists. "This isn't the time or place."

"In case it wasn't obvious, the battle court's right behind us. So it's the perfect place." He snarled. "And since you're so damn confident, maybe we'll just skip the Elite Four and get to the part where I kick--!!"

Before he could finish, one of the pokeballs attached to your belt popped open on its own, and from it emerged...

Koraidon.

Not the one who was your traveling companion who loved sandwiches, but the other member of its species: the alpha, the paradise protection protocol's defender--and now a very pissed off lizard who was able to jump out of its pokeball without your assistance.

Carmine, Drayton, and the other students gasped as it assumed its Apex build and scowled down at the boy, growling.

Suddenly Kieran didn't feel so high and mighty anymore, as he let you go and took a step away. An uncomfortable feeling of smallness and helplessness overtook him upon staring up at the Winged King's hostile gaze, a hand reaching for his Dragonite's pokeball on reflex.

You were stunned this Koraidon came to your defense quicker than the other. It must've somehow sensed the bullying behavior radiating from your rival.

'I guess it takes one to know one..'

The standoff continued for a few more moments...

Before Kieran surrendered.

"Fine. You made your point. The time for our real battle will come." His gaze went to Koraidon, his expression now cold and devoid of emotion. "Don't think you can always jump out to defend [y/n] like this. You'll see who's stronger."

It only snarled in response, while you remained beside it and frowned. "Kieran-"

"Looking forward to seeing you climb the ranks." Was all he said to you before he finally left you alone, the tension in the air still heavy as ever.

"Giiaa.."

"Thanks, buddy." You sighed, smiling a little as you stroked Koraidon's feathers. It relaxed its haunches, putting all four feet back on the ground so you could pet its snout. "Seems you've turned over a new leaf after all."

"Grraah!"

"Yeah..I can only hope he does, too.."

[birth-screaming]

Beach Birth

Request by @frank5804

Hazel really had hoped for a peaceful trip followed by a peaceful birth. The universe, however, had other plans. It was a hot day when Hazel had gone on a beach trip. She had decided to wear nothing but a pink bikini. Her due date was well over a week from now, so she felt comfortable and safe to go on the trip. She had a c-section planned anyways.

Her massive belly stuck out like a sore thumb. She was pregnant with twins, both of which being 9-11 pounds. Did she feel a little embarrassed? Sure, but she didn't care that much. She waddled onto a far away corner of the beach. Her stomach felt so low, and she had to painfully walk to lay down her blanket to sit on.

Some time passed by, and she decided to go in the water. She waddled away and gently sat down in the water, but still near the shore. Out of nowhere she felt a sharp pain in her lower back. She told herself that that was normal during pregnancy. The pain, however, did not go away. She continued to painfully play around. All of a sudden a sharp pain ripped through her abdomen. She doubled over in pain. She realized that people were giving her worried looks, but she could not focus on that. The pain only kept building until it finally faded away. Hazel's concerns grew, but she assumed that it was only a braxton hick. She continued to swim around, hoping nothing had happened.

Only three minutes go by, when she gets hit by another contraction. This one was even more painful than the other. She grabbed her massive belly and squirmed in pain. Pressure grew near her abdomen, using full strength the push down. She felt something move down her birth canal. She realized, still doubled over in pain, that she was definitely in labor. She tried to scream through her clenched teeth, but she could not make a sound. She realized she had to give birth here, her massive twins having no chance of c-section.

As soon as her contraction was over, she ran out of the water. She could barely stand with her belly and her drenched bikini. "SOMEONE, HELP!" she screamed. She barely made it out of the water before another contraction hit her. She felt her baby shift further down her birth canal. The pain in her abdomen was unbearable as the pressure continues to keep growing. She held her breath and tried not to scream, even with the pressure she was dealing with.

"She's giving birth!" someone yelled out from the beach. Hazel saw a tall man walking towards her. She had gotten not even a minute of rest when another contraction hit her. This one was different. On top of her pain in both her abdomen and the pressure-which were both worse than the previous ones- she felt her pussy lips part rapidly. She was about to crown. She clenched her teeth and grabbed her stomach. She got the urge to push-a big one. She tried to tolerate it but the pain kept growing. She quickly bore down and screamed louder than she had ever heard anyone scream.

The man came close to her and sat down. "Hey, just breathe for me, okay? I'll help deliver your baby" She could not believe him. How could a random man know how to safely deliver her abnormally large baby? "Just pull down your bikini, you're about to start crowning". She wanted to argue, but she simply had no strength. She obliged and took off her bikini's lower half.

Another contraction came through her, and she could take it no more, she bore down with all the strength she had. She felt her pussy stretch, more, more, until it felt like it would rip open if she continued to push. "I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE, ITS TOO BIG". "I know, but right now you need to push." "IT BURNS SO MUCH, IM GONNA TEAR, ITS SO BIG" "You. Need. To. Push. Otherwise the baby will go back inside. Terrified at the thought, she agreed and continued to push. Her pussy was stretched so wide that someone could fit their whole adult leg in it. She felt searing white hot pain, but she felt all of it. The next contraction was even worse, when she pushed, her pussy had reached its limit, it was about to tear. "I see it! Push!" he said. Hazel nonetheless kept pushing. Her whole body was shaking. "GET IT OUTTTT AAAHHHHHHH!!" she screamed. When she realized that she couldn't stretch anymore, she felt the head pop out with a gush of amniotic fluid. The man pulled out her baby and held it out to her. "It's a girl" he said.

The discomfort didn't stop though. Hazel continued to moan, louder each time. She began to whimper. She shifted uncomfortably in the sand. "ooohh" she said in a shaky moan. "what happened, my dear?" "I have twins" Hazel said with a pang of pain. "ooOOHH" Her voice grew as she felt a small contraction rip through her. "Please, i cant do this again, help, please, stop this" she cried and begged him, knowing that there was nothing he could do. She painfully realized that this was going to be the larger and heavier baby. She moaned even louder, her voice and body still shaking. "We can get you to the hospital, and don't worry, this one will be easier." Hazel nodded and tried to get up. He tried to help her up, as she moaned even louder, her moan almost being a scream.

Before he could even get her to take a step, she screamed out and doubled down. "NO! NOT NOW! NOT AGAIN!" she yelled out. "its okay, dear, relax". She didn't listen to him. She bore down with all her strength. "FUCK, ITS COMING, ITS COMING!! ITS WAY. TOO. BIGGGG!!" Her screams grew. He realized that this one would require more help. Without thinking, he laid her down on her sand, and pushed on her stomach. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING, ILL TEAR," He put more pressure. "STOP. ITS COMING FASTER!" She bore down again, screaming and begging him to stop. "I'm sorry, if i don't do this the baby will definitely slip back in. Now you don't want to birth this baby twice, do you?" he told her. She shook her head. She was crowning again. "See, this time its easier" "IT BURNS SO MUCH. SO MUCH PRESSURE" He still had no choice but to continue pushing on her stomach, this time with much more pressure, almost as if he was working a machinery, not tending to her pain. He couldn't though, as it was necessary to apply as much pressure as possible to prevent

Hazel continued to push, and she felt her pussy being stretched to the max. She knew she had to stop and let herself stretch. The man, however, didn't notice and put even more pressure, so much so that her stomach wasn't even round anymore. "STOP. IM TEARINGG!" she screamed, but it was too late. She felt her pussy rip apart, as if the pressure on her abdomen was not already enough. She felt the head pop out, giving a rest to her bulging pussy. The man noticed it and quickly pulled the baby out. She amniotic fluid rushed out as she finally felt relief. The man handed her her second baby. Hazel lovingly held them both.

"My name is Axel, by the way"

[mazzystar24]

Okay this might be kinda a long ask but BEAR WITH ME!!!

Okay so 7x07 is titled “Ghost of a Second Chance”

Buck’s big gesture at the end of 7x05 was asking Tommy for a second chance.

I have seen some speculation that we are going to have some sort of major vehicle accident at some point this season based on bts photos and makeup trailer photos— so i have a working theory starting from the Madney wedding onto the end of the season.

Okay so 7x06: We will see Chimney’s bachelor party- personally im a big fan of the accidental marriage trope in fanfiction, but im trying to be realistic here. My theory is that when Buck and Eddie get plastered, Eddie starts to look at him weird, but is like “nahh no, that’s my best friend. he’s with tommy. he’s a guy. but im looking respectfully 👀👀.” They wake up the next day, and Chim is gone. They all immediately launch into “we gotta find him mode” and eddie stick with buck for most of the episode. As it goes on, Eddie starts thinking about all of his little thoughts about Buck from the night before and he keeps trying to explain them away in his mind- but his brain keeps popping back to the marisol of it all and he’s like “but what does it all mean??” anyway, they get chimney back, and things go well, but then the Buckley’s find out that evan is dating a man. They say some not-nice things (as they do everytime they’re around their son) and it’s not maddie who sticks up for buck, it’s not tommy, it’s not bobby or athena or hen or anyone because they’re all off having a grand old time— no, it’s Eddie. Eddie who will not even think about hearing anyone speak ill of Buck. He tells them about how wonderful snd deserving of love their son is and that if that’s from a man so be it as long as he’s happy— cue eddie’s epiphany as he mulls over his own words, glances up to the dance floor, and he sees buck dancing with tommy. But in that moment he sees buck. It suddenly clicks, and he realizes that he is screwed.

Now we have 7x07: Eddie is struggling to come to terms with what he has realized at the wedding. He’s shooketh ™️ and scared out of his mind over the fact that his best friend- who literally just came out to him- may be the person he’s been waiting for to settle down with. the other parentsl figure for Chris. someone Chris would want around. someone Eddie would want around. He spirals as he and Marisol begin to completely fall apart. At some point, they get a call- a helicopter crash. There is an immediate sinking feeling from everyone. They get to the scene and Bobby gives out instructions- Eddie and Buck make their way to the crash site, Buck terrified of what might be waiting for them. Eddie sees Tommy first- still alive but hanging on by a thread. This is where we get a delicious parallel to Shannon’s death. Eddie immediately is on the defensive, trying to keep Buck from seeing, but Buck is distraught. They get Tommy out and into an ambulance, but he’s been watching this whole time- he sees how Eddie so ferociously tried to protect Buck, and he realizes. As Tommy and Buck are in the back of the ambulance. Tommy tells Buck that he will move on, and maybe say something along the lines of “you don’t find it, you make it” (👀👀👀) and that Buck has Eddie. And THAT is when it clicks for Buck. Buck realizes as the first man he ever consciously considered in a romantic light dies in front of him, that what he has been looking for, he already has because he’s built it with Eddie (“you never know what you need until a light is shined on it” - oliver stark). But it can’t be because eddie is straight right? right??

Then from 7x08-7x10: we get the two of them dancing around each other. we get avoidance, we get longing glances missed by both of them. we see eddie have a multi-episode arc where he fully comes to terms with what he’s feeling, and he gets an emotional scene with Chris about Chris loving his Buck, and how Buck is kind of like his second dad since he doesn’t have Shannon as his mom anymore. On Buck’s end, we get a Buckley sibling moment where Maddie tells Buck that she’s always thought he had a thing for Eddie, but that she thought he needed to discover that himself. Buck is conflicted over telling Eddie because he just got what he wanted, even if it’s just in his head, he doesn’t want to lose it, especially not after just losing tommy. He is going to ignore it, but then we get another Loft Scene ™️. Eddie tells Buck that he is tired if avoiding Buck, and that he can’t lose someone else. He tells Buck that he knows Buck doesn’t feel the same, but that he would much rather be Buck’s best friend and have that be all he can be, than to not have him because he was too scared and pushed Buck away. He tells Buck that he’s Chris’s second dad, and that neither he or Chris can lose him, and Buck finally feels so wanted by his family- the family he made with Eddie. And he tells Eddie he loves him too. Then we get Eddie stepping in close, asking if Buck is okay with him kissing him before (something that has never happened for Buck, even with Tommy) and Buck tells him yes, and season 7 closes with them kissing in the same spot in Buck’s kitchen where all those years ago, Eddie told him there was no one her trusted his son with more than Buck.

Cue Season 8 finally bringing us the domestic fluff and tooth-rotting romance that we desperately need from the two of them and have been waiting for for SO long. Plus a few stumbles, maybe some doubts along the way, but nothing that can’t be fixed without some good ol’ “i love you to the core”

and you know what, because im feeling nice after my little spec sesh, when they go visit shannon’s grave to place flowers, they visit tommy’s too because he is who brought them together in the end.

I fully recognize how delulu i probably sound, but at the same time @ Tim Minear and ABC, i will be awaiting my writer’s credit on IMDb, and my check in the mail, thanks. 🙏

(also again SO sorry for the long ask I just needed to put this out in your orbit)

💳💥💳💥💳💥💳💥💳💥

Take my money like a lot of this I’d definitely love to read a fanfic of🫡🫡

I think the only part I personally don’t LOVE is the Tommy dying bit, like that’s just down to personal preference tbh because I love a more amicable breakup and they all are friends now type of thing ( most of greys anatomy couples style)

[itsraven0v0]

YANDERE!KARUSER HCs

Note: as i said before, im terrible at writing yanderes. its mostly because im not a huge fan of it?! especially with characters i think would never fit in the role and Krauser is one of them. HOWEVER in a different timeline maybe, he'd make one hell of a f*cked up yandere.

i devided this into two sections (pre!javier krauser and post!javier krauser). enjoy~

comments and feedbacks are always appreciated:>

. PRE!JAVIER KARUSER .

you two met on one of his day offs when he was doing his routine jog and now he is EVERYWHERE!

like you can even see his iconic slicked back blond hair from the corner of your eyes.

you aint getting rid of him, you also aint getting a confrontation either!

i think back then he had more fucks to give so he kinda wanted to play it safe and approach you little by little

but when you where walking home alone one night(ffs dont do that) you got yourself in danger and then boom! this man appears outa nowhere and starts kicking their asses.

well that caught your attention and made you wanna give him a chance. what could go wrong, right?

oh you fool...

you aint getting outa his house anymore.

im pretty sure he has a single cabin in the woods that he has for the day offs he gets, so good luck runnung away.

not that you could if it was an apartment anyway.

this guy will hunt you down and drag u back. you will be his little canary or some shit.

. POST!JAVIER KRAUSER .

oh boy...

unlike the previous version, this man is too tired to give a fuck about playing it safe.

you two met at a bar where he was drowning himself in self-loathing and alcohol.

and as your obsession with military men with scars on their faces (and the alcohol) kicked in, you thought what better than to help him. right?! ahah...

look i aint judging you, thats literally me. ok??

you helped this man get his ass home safe from the bar and guess what? he was drunk and invited u in and u TOOK IT!

you helped him lay down, took his injured hand when he was having nightmares, made him coffee and everything OF COURSE HE WAS GONNA FALL FOR YOU!

your soft hands felt so good on his when he woke up only to see you fallen asleep besides his bed.

you appeared like an angel in his miserable life for a moment and from that morning he gave everything just to have your soothing presence in his life.

but soon this turned into something alarming.

he would confront you all of a sudden like: "be with me."

and if you refuse? well you can't. this man can turn on threatening mode real f*cking quick and this terrifies the sh*t outa you.

he'll keep you like a pet. attend to you good and make sure you are okay and happy but he also thinks the moment you walk outa his door smth is gonna take you away from him so say goodbye to outdoors.

he is so sad please be nice to him...i mean he technically gonna take away all your freedom but did you even have any to begin with?

enjoy you life with him while it lasts. and also enjoy knowing nothing about him. also enjoy meeting Wesker :D

that mf can and WILL pay u a visit just to scare Jack into doing what he's asking of him.

one day you ran away just to find out what he has been doing, who is he and who's that asshole that wears sunglasses indoors. And you saw smth that made you heart race in both fear and attraction(you weird f*ck! dw me too)

there he was testing his las plagas form. all monstrous and bloody. you took a step back in fear and the sound made him spot you. man he was terrified you were gonna run away. but nah!

you into that so you stayed.

you are gonna be so sad when he dies...

you think u can prevent that? try your best!

whooowhi!

thats the most yandere yall are gonna get outa me. hope that satisfied you anon who asked that.

ALSO i might wanna start a second page to write about other stuff [like mortal kombat :D] so i'll share it here too.

[angelspitxx]

random dexter rambling.. i miss rita.

instead of her dying, dexter saves her in time. she doesn't remember much about the assault but she swears she saw him kill her attacker before she loses consciousness. she wakes up in the hospital, he's there by her side. his hands trembling as he holds hers, brows furrowed, unable to meet her eyes. he mumbles "im sorry" and they sit in silence. she's trying to remember what happened but it's a blur. debra comes in and checks on her, gives them the bad news that trinity is in the wind. only, he's not and dexter knows it. he's at the bottom of the ocean, rotting in a trash bag. he's grateful for that at least, but he feels so guilty for what almost happened to rita. weeks pass, things are *different* between them to say the least. strained, painful. almost as if they can't look at each other anymore. he tries to talk but the words won't come out.

one day, rita has a dream of the attack, and clearly sees dexter stab trinity. she decides to follow him one night. she isn't sure why she hasn't ever done this before, he's always out so late.. and she's never quite sure what he's really doing. she watches with wide eyes as she sees him heaving what looks like a body in his trunk. he drives to an abandoned looking house. the moment he's inside with the body she shuts off her vehicle and follows him. she's peeking through the windows but can't see anything, so she sneaks inside quietly.

it's then that she sees all the plastic sheeting, curiously, she peeks behind it. only to reveal dexter, in all his homicidal glory, shoving a knife into some random man she's never met. the look in his eyes terrifies her and she lets out a gasp, almost tripping over something and falling back. his head snaps up and he can't believe his eyes. before she even gets a chance to run he's grabbing her, covering her mouth so she can't scream.

"it isn't what you think i promise- i was only-"

he can't think of a reasonable excuse, instead he just starts begging her not to leave him. he doesn't even care if she turns him in, he can't kill her. a million thoughts are running through his head and the biggest one is: "i can't lose them. my family. my wife. i won't lose them."

she's crying, her tears running onto his hand. the way she's looking at him makes his chest ache. he isn't sure what that feeling is, maybe hurt?

he takes his hand away slowly, "please.. rita. i can explain."

she shakes her head and looks away from him. she can't speak. she can't move, too terrified of the man she thought she knew. the man she married, the man she loves. loved? she doesn't even know anymore. was everything a lie?

he begins kissing her tears, salty on his lips. his hands, always so gentle when they touch her. even now, when they are covered in someone's blood.

"please," he begs again, his voice desperate.

she's shaking against him and she rasps out, "you killed him.. didn't you? the.. man who hurt me? i saw you.."

he nods and swallows the lump in his throat, "yes.. and this man. he hurt other people too. i only kill the ones who deserve it. i swear, i can prove it to you."

as if that justified him, as if that would make her stay. she finally looks up at him, and he can't tell what she's thinking. she's searching for something, he thinks, in his eyes. deceit, truth. every moment that passes is like an eternity until finally she stops shaking and her eyes soften. it's all beginning to click for her.

"this is your addiction, isn't it?"

he wants to say yes, because for the longest time it had been.. but the fear he just felt when he thought he could lose her told him otherwise. he kissed her, expecting her to pull away in disgust. only she didn't, she let him melt against her. shedding the mask he had put on for his entire life. someone finally saw him.. and she didn't leave.

[jeepersjpeg]

can you explain your interpretation of "i'm thinking of ending things"? id love to hear your thoughts

YEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS

*ahem*

first off : the book and the movie are vastly different, but i actually do not have a preference for one or the other. i think everyone who's seen the movie should read the book, i think everyone who's read the book should see the movie. they both bring incredible things to the table when it comes to telling this story. for simplicity, i'll only be talking about the book (SPOILER WARNING TOO)-- but keep in mind i Absolutely Love and Still Recommend the film wholeheartedly.

i interpret I'm Thinking Of Ending Things as a heartbreakingly bleak trans horror story. this was my first conclusion, almost as a joke, but when i looked over the book again i found that it made so much sense.

these are a few details that i think contribute to my interpretation :

jake is not just imagining himself with a girlfriend, with a better more fulfilling life, he's imagining himself as a girl. Jake's source of depression comes from not living up to his full potential, but there's really no specific way he envisions his "better life" except "im a girl this time, and im happy".

the girl is never named, nor described (other than a one-off line confirming that she's blonde, and also implying that Jake is blonde) but the book alludes that Girl looks a lot like Jake. her appearance is supposedly drawn from a girl he saw at trivia night, and then he started.. imagining himself as this girl? i don't think his avoidance of her was a "missed connection" type of thing. i think he felt longing in an envious way. he can never bring himself to be with a woman because it would make him upset, like being someone's boyfriend would just be a confirmation of his current gender. his expected role as a man. taking any steps to make a life for himself involves being perceived as a man. a boyfriend, a husband, a father. he doesn't want to lock himself into these roles.

during the sex scene, he says "let's use our hands, only our hands". even in his fantasies he can't bear to imagine normal PIV sex because He Doesn't Know What It Feels Like From A Girls Perspective. even when he is the girl, he Can't imagine it, and he can't disrupt his perfect dream. so they use their hands, only their hands.

the paintings. the grotesque imagery of both his selves trying to merge, hidden away in a basement. the picture on the wall of "Jake as a child" that looks exactly like Girl.

at the end, Jake is being hunted down by his younger self. there's this sense of anger from him, as Girl dissipates into an old man, "Why didn't you do it? We could've had this life. It's too late now. Why didn't you do it?" he now believes there's no chance of becoming who he wants to be. that this is how life will always feel. that the only way out is relieving himself of feeling this way entirely : killing himself. merging as one with the Girl, he can stay inside this dream forever. nothing has to hurt anymore.

AND HE DIES IN A CLOSET.

i found that there are a lot of parallels between I'm Thinking Of Ending Things and I Saw The TV Glow. it looks like only one of them leaves room for hope, but i don't think that's entirely true.

I Saw The TV Glow tells us "there is still time". it has an equally bleak ending, but it's not over. Owen isn't dead. no matter how old he is, his life is not over. as long as he's still alive there is still time.

and I'm Thinking Of Ending Things tacks onto this, "what are you waiting for?"

they both have symbolism that can read as suicide or transition. in a way, it's both. it's presented as "killing" a part of yourself. The Real You is suffocating. the idea of having to upheave your entire life, however "good" it may be now, for a chance at happiness (potentially alienating yourself from everything and everyone you know)- is terrifying. the alternative (that you give up, that life is going to feel like this forever) is equally terrifying.

but There Is Still Time.

we didn't see Owen make it out. we don't see Jake survive. but you're here. like a cautionary tale-- you walk out of that theater, you close this book, after looking into a shattered mirror that echoes the terrifying thought of your hopes and dreams being euthanized. after looking into a crystal ball that tells you Yes, It Will Hurt. Yes, It Will Be Hard. this is how it can be, this is how it often goes. but it doesn't have to be you. it doesn't have to end like this for you.

i can never get it out of my head : There Is Still Time. What Are You Waiting For?

[trickstarbrave]

back at it again--

continuing this idea i have for @wellthebardsdead's au fool's prayer.

i was gonna write. the altercation outside the temple room. but yknow i'll get to it later i have to sleep and i wanna post what i wrote :))) (no proofread tho im sorry)

kinks for this i guess are body worship and breeding kink. lmao

--

Nerevar dressed as always, though he chose to forgo most of the elaborate, ceremonial armor he typically wore. Usually he would never dream of going without it on the day of a council meeting, but well…

He had no intention of attending a meeting today. It didn’t matter that Sen Dres had finally recovered enough to attend meetings once more. Even if he did bother attending, its not like anything would come of it. 

Morrowind was about to experience a very, very big change, after all. One most of the councilmen would no doubt be furious with him over--much more than they’d be angry with him for simply canceling a meeting. Right before, if Nerevar could guess correctly, Voryn would have their heads roll. 

Again, this was a chance for him to back out. He could look for a method of stopping Voryn, simply postponing his promised meeting with him. Nerevar could only buy him so much time before Voryn saw through his ruse, and perhaps it would have been an option if he thought they were any closer to stopping Voryn. But they weren’t--not in the slightest. The idea of actually stopping Voryn seemed further and further away by the day as the enormity of their foe grew. Nerevar knew it was a battle he wouldn’t win; it was best to use alternate methods. If there was a foe you truly couldn’t stop, it was better to appeal to them and manipulate them. Nerevar had attempted as much with the councilors, but was too outnumbered. He might have been the famed chimer king chosen by Azura, but that only worked for around the first century or so. What he actually needed was more political backing to achieve his goals, especially as Red Mountain refused to calm in the wake of its eruption and people were still displaced from Vvardenfell. 

Voryn however… He was a better option. He couldn’t guarantee Voryn could even feel ‘love’ anymore, but he did know Voryn had a weakness to Nerevar. The hortator was his lover at one point, and Voryn made it a point to recruit Nerevar now that he was back. For one reason or another Voryn wanted or needed Nerevar at his side, either to secure his power long term, because of the nature of the heart, or out of sheer selfish desire. And Nerevar could use that to his advantage. Temper his wrath and violence like a skilled smith at a forge. Gently persuade him down avenues that benefited both himself and Nerevar, along with securing Vivec’s safety. 

He walked down the halls with a purpose. Several temple staff stopped him to tell him the councilors were ready for the meeting, taking in the sight of Nerevar underdressed for the occasion, but Nerevar simply waved them off. 

“No meeting today.” Nerevar announced. “I need to commune immediately.” 

“Commune?” One of the priests asked, apprehensive.

“Yes,” Nerevar replied, still making his way to the temple room set aside for such a matter. A private room, grandly decorated to the Good Three. Voryn had instructed Nerevar in the precise way to summon him--much like one would summon a daedric prince. He was, after all, not much different than the other princes now with how much raw power he possessed. “It concerns Red Mountain.” 

The volcano, able to be seen even from Mournhold, had been behaving strangely after all. The Good Three either could not or would not stop it before, but Voryn had a stronger connection to the heart, and thus, Red Mountain. Already for the past few days it seemed… Restless, as though it was eager to blow again, terrifying the citizens of Morrowind. 

The priest looked relieved hearing that, still following him. “Oh thank the Three…” He audibly sighed. “If they can stop it from erupting once more the people will be more than thankful.” 

“Where do you think you’re going, Hortator?” Sen Dres was scowling, now also tailing him. Nerevar didn’t stop his stride in the slightest. “It is time for a council meeting--an overdue one while I have been in recovery!”

“There will be no meeting today.” Nerevar replied back coolly, entirely undeterred. 

“No meeting?” Sen Dres balked at him. “You do not get to unilaterally decide when there will be a council meeting or not!” He shouted, but Nerevar continued on his path. 

“Something of higher importance came up.”

“Ha!” Sen scoffed. “What could be more important than this meeting? We’ve already had to delay it for weeks. There’s several things on the agenda that have been postponed long enough.”

Finally, Nerevar stopped in front of the door to the shrine room, hand reaching for the handle. Seeing this, Sen Dres sneered.

“You’re postponing the council meeting to beg before the Good Three?” Nerevar gave him a harsh glare in return.

“This isn’t something that can be postponed another day.” Nerevar said definitively, baring his teeth. “The meeting can wait.”

“I hope you intend to take responsibility for your blatant disrespect of the great houses Hortator!” Sen Dres shouted, but Nerevar gave him no reply. He opened the heavy doors, and then shut them behind him.

Sen Dres scowled as he walked away, but the moment he was out of view of the priest a cruel smile broke out across his face.

Oh, he had no intention of letting this meeting be canceled. They would simply instead use this opportunity to their advantage. He merely hadn't expected the hortator to give him such an opening so soon.

Sen Dres was more than happy to say the hortator would be simply abstaining from the meeting, throw out the small handful of councilors supporting him, and begin his coup in earnest. The king usually spent hours conversing with the Good Three in ‘important matters’ but rarely with any material reward. It would give them plenty of time to rally armed guards, tie up the priests, and storm into the room to kill the chimer mid-prayer. And even more exciting—Vivec was still powerless, and according to the spies Sen planted, he was with child. Even if their attack was thwarted, Sen could use Vivec as a hostage. Certainly the hortator would do anything and everything in his power to protect the little temple whore and his own unborn child. 

It was too easy. The king lined him up in a perfect checkmate without him even realizing. All that was left to do was make his move.

Morrowind no longer needed Nerevar. He was a relic of a bygone era—an old folk hero reborn as an outlander. The only reason he rose to power again was in the wake of the Red Year, but he has no real political backing. House Indoril controlled the temple, but they were a mere shell without Almalexia; she wanted it that way on purpose, after all. 

Nerevar had nothing he could bring Morrowind. All he had were naive ideas that charity alone could get them out of this mess, or restricted the Great Houses in an effort to control them. 

Today would mark the day he finally did away with him and unshackled Morrowind.

—

Inside, Nerevar mixed incense as he so often did before summoning one of the Good Three. Only this time he made a completely different mixture than he often did, sifting the powders together before tamping down white ash as a bed for it, and then setting it in the proper design. No doubt when Voryn returned he’d have this incense blend standardized and a mold made in his preferred shape, but right now Nerevar would have to make due.

He lit it, inhaling the familiar scent of House Dagoth, hit with melancholy for the past. In his first lifetime he could smell this blend often in the halls of any House Dagoth stronghold, or even clinging onto Voryn’s skin like perfume. 

It smelled of home. A long, forgotten home. His mouth quivered and his eyes watered, but he forced the tears down. 

The past was in the past. Nothing he could do could change it--a lesson he learned over and over. Even now, Voryn wasn’t the same, but Nerevar intended to use him as needed. 

For his own safety as well as Vivec’s. And hopefully in the long term, for the good of Morrowind entirely. 

He then said prayers, kneeling on the plush pile of pillows he prepared as well, apprehensive. 

When the prayers were finished, he waited. Seconds ticked by, each one filling him with more concern. Had he done it incorrectly? Had Voryn changed his mind? No--no that couldn’t be it. He did everything to the letter as Voryn instructed, and Voryn wouldn’t have given up on Nerevar so easily. Or was it… Voryn had played him entirely? Did Voryn intend to use this as his opening into the world and ran off to cause chaos? 

Just as his worries started to get the better of him though he felt two cool hands cover his eyes, a dark chuckle behind him. He jumped at first, before relief washed over him.

“Apologies,” Voryn whispered, “I was simply admiring you kneeling like that.”

“Voryn,” Nerevar began, before Voryn continued, his voice slow and seductive. 

“You’re the first person to pray to me in earnest, after all.” Voryn nibbled playfully on his ear, coaxing a few moans from Nerevar’s throat. “Though you won’t be the last.” He chuckled again, before blowing softly, watching Nerevar’s ear twitch and listening to the stranger groan that followed. “But you will always be my first and most devout worshiper, won’t you?” 

“Yes,” Nerevar gasped softly, leaning against Voryn. “Yes, I will be…”

“You’ll even carry the child of a god, my perfect heir…” He rubbed Nerevar’s stomach almost tenderly, before continuing to nibble and kiss along his neck. “Oh how I’ve longed to have you in my arms once more…”

“Voryn~” Nerevar keened, before Voryn wrangled him onto the pile of plush pillows. 

“Look at you…” Voryn was smirking with delight, cupping Nerevar’s flushed cheek. “You look like the perfect offering to me.” Nerevar shuddered at the cold touch, before instantly, Voryn’s hand felt warm and alive again once more.

“How should I make love to you, Neht?” Voryn asked, his voice soft and tender, before his skin changed to chimer gold once more. “Like this?” He leaned in close, his voice soft and tender. “Do you miss this form, my Moon and Star?”

“So long as it’s you, I don’t care.” Nerevar whispered back. “Though I’d… Prefer if your skin is warm.” Voryn chuckled at that, his skin fading to grey once again. 

“I’m perfectly happy with that.” Voryn purred. “I want to make sure it feels as good as possible for you, after all.” He was already pulling Nerevar’s shirt up and over his head. “Perhaps another time we can relive the past like before.” Voryn’s hands then slide up and then back down Nerevar’s torso in long, gliding strokes, making Nerevar’s eyes flutter shut. “I can lay you on my bed… Dress you in the finest silks…” Nerevar could already picture it, “And be the one to worship you.”

“Mm, would you…?” Nerevar cracked his eyes open, looking up at Voryn. He didn’t think Voryn would; not after becoming a god, anyways. Perhaps he was just trying to appeal to Nerevar, making empty promises. Nerevar was nervous about expecting too much from him.

“Of course,” Voryn smiled warmly now, as he caressed Nerevar’s cheek again. “You’ll be my consort… The holiest of saints in my temple…” Voryn leaned in closer, “My beloved…” 

Voryn’s lips met his in a surprisingly tender kiss. He’d expected Voryn to be ravenous when he was summoned, throwing Nerevar to the floor to debauch him properly. But like this he was slow, sensual, lips moving in sync with Nerevar’s as his tongue tangled with the hortator’s in a slow dance. Nerevar had to hold his shoulders to ground himself, but every movement has him wanting more and more. Now he was starting to feel like the impatient one as Voryn took his time exploring Nerevar’s mouth and tasting him thoroughly, Nerevar’s breathing growing more and more labored.

“In fact,” Voryn whispered as he pulled away, a string of saliva still connecting their mouths, “I think I will worship you today, Neht.” Voryn smiled slyly as he began to slide down Nerevar’s body, pressing warm, wet kisses across his skin. “You’ve finally come to me, after all, and it’s time I reward you properly…” 

His lips closed around a nipple, sucking soft and gentle at first as he coaxed soft whimpers and moans out of Nerevar’s throat. It was almost teasing how thorough he was being in working Nerevar up, swirling his tongue around the bud before giving it a soft nibble.

“Should I have these pierced?” Voryn asked, looking up at him before giving another swirl of his tongue as his hand played with the other. Nerevar keened again, arching up against his mouth. “It’s typically relegated to concubines but…” Voryn nipped a bit harder this time, listening to the sharp whine that followed. “I think they’d look perfect on you… Make these so much more sensitive…” Nerevar was panting now, knowing full well he was soaking wet already. “I wonder if I could make you cum just from touching you like this with how sensitive your chest would be…” Voryn flicked both of them now, before giving a soft pinch.

“Ah~!” Nerevar’s cunt was aching in need now as his hips shifted to grind against the larger mer. “Voryn~” He whined again, all the while Voryn continued to touch and tease him mercilessly.

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” Voryn asked with a smirk, before kissing his way to the other bud, giving it a soft lick, before closing his lips around to suck, flicking it with his tongue the whole while.

“Yes,” Nerevar gasped in between moans, “Yes, I want it, I want it Voryn~” 

Voryn’s lips finally let go, both of his nipples flushed and standing erect. His hips were still shifting under Voryn though as Voryn began kissing his way down Nerevar’s chest, down his ribs, and trailing towards his trousers.

“I can’t wait to taste you again,” Voryn whispered, his tone almost dangerous as he undid the lacing on them, before tugging the fabric down and off Nerevar’s legs. Nerevar helped by kicking them off, moaning from the teasing strokes at his thighs. Voryn then slid his underwear down, pulling it off him in full, before spreading Nerevar’s thighs and settling himself between them. 

“Voryn…” Nerevar groaned, his hands in Voryn’s hair, trembling from his desire.

“So wet…” Voryn remarked, delighted as he admired Nerevar so closely. It honestly made his face burn in embarrassment, even his ears turning red. “You look just as perfect as you did back then…” Voryn whispered, before leaning in to give a soft kiss to his lips, before moving up to press a kiss to his cock. Every touch of his lips has Nerevar’s body jerking, cries spilling uncontrollably from his mouth. It wasn’t enough—it wasn’t nearly enough for him.

“Stop,” Nerevar pleaded. “Stop teasing me—“

“Teasing you?” Voryn asked, pulling away enough to look up at him and cock an eyebrow. “I’m not teasing you at all.” Voryn smirked now, his fingers just pressing against Nerevar’s entrance, but not slipping inside. “I’m memorizing you again, as I promised.”

“Voryn~!” He needed more; Nerevar needed more. He couldn’t handle this level of teasing—not after so long apart.

“I’m worshiping your body, just like you deserve…” Voryn purred, his fingers finally slipping inside. “This perfect, gorgeous body that is finally… All… Mine…” His lips then closed around Nerevar’s cock, suckling softly, listening to Nerevar howl in pure pleasure.

“Yes!” Nerevar’s eyes rolled back as he tried to tug Voryn closer and closer. “Fuck yes, fuck yes!!” Voryn’s tongue flicked against it too, before he removed the pressure and instead pressed another wet kiss. Nerevar groaned in displeasure at the loss, before gasping and moaning again as Voryn gave it playful licks and twirls of his tongue, following it up with another kiss.

“So hard for me, aren’t you…” He purred again, giving another long lick, letting his tongue flatten out. Nerevar’s legs were trembling as Voryn’s fingers stroked slowly against his sweet spot, the pleasure overwhelming his senses. When it felt like this, Nerevar couldn’t believe he hadn’t given in sooner. It felt mind numbing how wonderful it all was, unable to think of a single problem and instead focusing solely on the ecstasy he was hurtling towards. 

“Yes,” Nerevar moaned, “So hard for you, my cock is so hard for you…” Nerevar’s hips were bucking towards the warm, wet heat of Voryn’s mouth. “Please, suck me off again, I want to feel your mouth…” Voryn obliged him, his lips closing around it once more, suckling and flicking his tongue back and forth just like he knew Nerevar liked it. “Oh gods, yes!” Nerevar moaned freely, feeling his orgasm building, getting that much closer to the edge. 

“I’m close—I’m close—“ Nerevar clung to Voryn with one hand, cradling his head close, the other gripping one of the pillows under him so tight his knuckles were going white. “Please make me cum,” Nerevar pleaded, “Please, I wanna cum for you~” He had no shame anymore, focused solely on pleasure. “Please, I’m yours, I’m all yours!” He was fully sobbing in pleasure now, so very, very close…

With one last suck and flick of Voryn’s tongue, Nerevar was finally falling, chanting Voryn’s name the whole while. It was red hot, a burning intensity that came in waves as Voryn forced him to ride it out, his whole body trembling. It was absolute bliss as his mind went fully blank, every other coherent thought fizzling out.

He laid there panting for some time, basking in the afterglow of such a satisfying orgasm. It was even better than the one he had in his dream, a warm, fuzzy feeling settling throughout his body. 

“Good boy.” Voryn praised him, before leaning in close to kiss his cheek after moving back up his body after leaving a few love bites across his thighs. Nerevar hummed in satisfaction now, turning to give him a soft kiss in return.

“Your turn…?” Nerevar asked, and Voryn chuckled. 

“Almost,” He replied, slowly stripping himself as well. “There is one more thing to do.”

Nerevar raised a brow, before Voryn pulled out a small dagger. It was part of the temple room, used to give offerings, but Nerevar’s heart began pounding in fear seeing it.

“Hush,” Voryn soothed him instantly. “This isn’t to harm you, my Moon and Star…” he then brought the knife to his own wrist, slitting across it just enough for it to bleed. It wasn’t crimson red though, but instead bled a pure black—liquid ebony.

“Why…?” Voryn smiled warmly once again, offering his wrist.

“I’ve lost you once before,” Voryn replied, “I watched you be killed, powerless to stop it,” He almost sounded… Genuine like this. Vulnerable. 

Like it was his Voryn again. The man he loved in the flesh once more.

“I refuse to lose you again.” Voryn swore, his eyes shining. “I want to tie you to me, in body and spirit.” He then offered Nerevar his wrist. “You will be my greatest weakness after this, the person they’ll target first.” Voryn was almost pleading with him now. “Please, drink it.”

His reasoning was sound. It was true that when the people of Morrowind found out Voryn couldn’t be killed, they’d target Nerevar next. And even if it was a lie… What did it matter? Nerevar had already given in. Even if this would kill him and turn him into a mindless ash ghoul immediately, Nerevar was in too deep to run now. At least his final moments would have been spent receiving an absolutely mind numbing orgasm.

Nerevar leaned forward and took his wrist, licking the trail of the metallic liquid that spilled, before closing his mouth around it and drinking.

“Good boy…” Voryn whispered, stroking his hair. At first it was just unpleasant from how metallic it was, before Nerevar felt warmth blooming in him. Voryn then held his head firmly, keeping him there. Quickly, Nerevar realized why he had done so, as quickly the warmth turned to burning.

He struggled first, crying out in pain. It had been a lie—that sweet face had been a lie. It hurt so much Nerevar was convinced he was dying, burning from the inside out, but Voryn merely restrained him and forced him to drink.

“I’m sorry my love,” Voryn whispered. “It will hurt at first, becoming one with me…” Voryn also winced. “… It hurts me too…. But we… Need to endure it….”

Nerevar cursed him mentally, still trying to push him off, before his body went rigid, and then finally limp, now robotically drinking. 

Fuck, it wasn’t poison. Instead Voryn intended to use it to control his body. Luckily the pain was fading now, still a simmering warmth in him, but he was no longer sobbing in agony. Now it was a localized pain in his upper stomach, a dull ache.

“That’s it…” Voryn praised him. “I’m sorry my love for controlling your body like that,” Voryn apologized now, cooing softly and stroking Nerevar’s hair. “But it’s just for your safety.” 

Nerevar scowled inwardly, only the slightest furrow in his brow showing how actually angry he was as he was forced to obediently drink. “Don’t be angry with me Neht…” Voryn whispered, “… I’ll make it feel good too, in exchange.” 

The slow, simmering warmth then began to burn anew but this kind a much more delightful kind of fire. Pleasure licked every nerve in his body as he twitched and trembled, eyes rolling back.

“There, much better isn’t it?” Nerevar was climaxing untouched helplessly, unable to respond even if he wanted to. It was another long and overwhelming orgasm too, just as he had before, his thoughts turning off once more.

Finally, Voryn let the pleasure subside, before finally pulling his wrist away and freeing Nerevar’s body. Not like it mattered; he felt completely boneless from the intensity of it all.

“Here…” Voryn smiled warm once more, almost lovingly like he did back then. “Finally… You’re all mine entirely…”

“… Not yet,” Nerevar whispered back against Voryn’s lips, and Voryn stopped the impending kiss to look at him quizzatively. Nerevar decided to show him by wrapping a leg around Voryn’s hips, pressing their bodies closer together. “You still haven’t gotten inside me yet.”

Voryn smirked wide and dark at that, a sort of devilish smirk that made Nerevar excited so many times in the past. 

“You’re correct,” Voryn replied, his breath hot against Nerevar’s lips. “Let me correct that.”

This kiss was much more impassioned and desperate, the hunger Nerevar having expected previously. He was pinned down swiftly, Voryn pressing the head of his cock to Nerevar’s entrance.

“So wet…” Voryn muttered into Nerevar’s neck. “Oh, Neht…”

“You made me cum twice,” It was Nerevar’s turn to pure back, shifting them slightly so he could nibble on Voryn’s ear, “Now it’s your turn.”

“Yes,” Voryn hissed, finally rocking his hips forward, before moaning long and deep. “Oh Nerevar, Neht,” Voryn moaned, before tugging him into a short, messy kiss, “No matter how long we’ve been apart, being inside you makes me weak…”

“Even as a god~?” Nerevar moaned back as Voryn rocked in and out, trying to work himself deeper into Nerevar.

“Yes!” Voryn moaned louder, giving a form thrust down. “Even as a god—!” Voryn was thrusting wildly now, his last bit of self control snapping. It seemed calling him a god excited him more than Nerevar had expected. 

The thrusting was once again, mind numbingly blissful in how good it felt. He was so slick the glide was easy, but he saw stars every time Voryn thrust. 

“Your body will be mine completely,” Voryn moaned inbetween hot, passionate kisses. “All mine,” Nerevar was trembling, eyes rolling back as he moaned freely into the kiss as well, “In a way no one will ever get to have you!”

“Yes!” Nerevar was clinging to Voryn, trying to claw himself closer. “All yours, I’m all yours!”

“You’re going to have my heir.” Voryn demanded, his thrusts finally settling on a hard and fast pace. The sentence sent Nerevar that much closer toward the edge all over again. “You’re going to have only my children,” Nerevar knew Voryn would make sure of it, killing anyone who even thought about it, if their seed would even take. He already had corprus and now he’d drank Voryn’s blood. He wouldn’t put it past his lover to make sure Nerevar could only conceive with Voryn. “As many children as you want Neht—” Voryn kissed him passionately again and again, his breathing labored. 

“Cum inside me!” Nerevar pleaded, “Cum inside me—knock me up—!” Voryn moaned louder, his pace beginning to falter. 

“Neht—!” Voryn held him tighter and tighter, and Nerevar almost felt like the ground under him was trembling. “Get pregnant, get pregnant!” Voryn demanded, before finally his rapid thrusting stopped with a jerk of his hips, heat erupting in Nerevar. “Fuck…” Voryn swore, giving a few more shallow thrusts as he shot rope after rope inside Nerevar’s waiting body.

Nerevar had been furiously rubbing his own cock, but finally feeling Voryn spill his seed was enough to drive Nerevar over the edge. His lover was cumming inside him—making Nerevar’s body his. Voryn’s seed would take and Nerevar would finally be pregnant with his heir, a child with the man he loved like he’d always wanted.

He trembled as he came, mouth open and eyes completely glazed over in pleasure. His cunt spawned around Voryn’s cock, making Voryn groan.

“Milking me for every drop…” He panted, simply laying there and embracing Nerevar. 

Nerevar didn’t know how long they laid there. He simply was basking in the bliss that always followed their most intense lovemaking sessions. But, reluctantly, Voryn finally pulled out of him, rolling off him.

“Let me clean you up.” Nerevar whined in displeasure as Voryn stood up, walking over to a nearby water basin, disappointed from the loss of contact.

“Can’t we just lay here a while longer…?” Nerevar asked, and Voryn smiled. 

“As much as I’d love to,” Voryn brought over a wet rag, gently cleaning him up. He’d likely need a proper bath, but it was enough to let him redress. “It seems we have company.”

“Hm?” Nerevar asked, before glancing around suspiciously. The air was hazy from incense, but it was possible Voryn could still see them. “Outside, it seems like some people are trying very hard to get in, banging on the door and demanding you…” Nerevar scowled at that, the bliss fading and replaced by annoyance. “It’s probably some councilmen demanding I come out for a meeting…”

“Well then,” Voryn smirked, “Let’s go give them a meeting.” 

[heartsoulspiritelite]

Dominik Mysterio x Y/N

This one is not very good but eh ill post it anyway. Ill make a better one, idk when tho.

Female reader

Y/n = your name

N/n = Nick name

~

Summary-

Y/N and Dominik used to be best friends, they told each other everything, but once everything went south the Mysterio Family Y/n couldn't bring herself to forgive to him.

As she was walking around backstage, she bumped into the person she's been trying to avoid.

Dominik Mysterio.

~

Former Bestfriends

Y/N and Dominik used to be best friends, they told each other everything, but once everything went south the Mysterio Family Y/n couldn't bring herself to forgive to him. Not when he hurt his family like that.

When Y/n and Dom were friends she wasn't a pro wrestler but she supported him throughout his whole career, she was training with Rey Mysterio to beome a wrestler one day and she was so so grateful.

In 2023 Y/n got signed with the WWE. She couldn't be happier. she thanked Rey everyday for his help, without him she wouldn't be here.

She was quite nervous though. What if she ran into Dom backstage? Would he ignore her? Would he remember her? All these thoughts were running through her head as she was walking around backstage, They hurt.

As she was overthinking she didn't realise she walked into somebody- or a couple people actually.

"OMG IM SO SOR-" She tried apolagize before she realized who it was she bumped into.

She looked up and see the the person she'd been trying to avoid.

Dominik Mysterio.

"its alright.. wait Yn is it really you..?" He said in shock staring her up and down

"Yup! Nice to see you again. Bye" She tried to leave before one of the people beside him grabbed her arm

"Who the hell are you?!" The person who she knows is Rhea Ripley asks her.

She was scary, She truly terrified Y/n, She was really pretty though.

Dominiks eyes widened when he saw what was happening

"Mami calm down, Balor, Priest can you guys takes her to the locker room or something?" He pleaded

Mami. The name was just as cringy to hear it in person than it was on tv. She must admit though, Hearing it come from Dom's mouth made her blush, shes always had a crush on him, she never dare to tell him though, She'll take it to her grave unless he makes the first move, She doubts he will though, Seeing him all happy with Rhea... She'd never have a chance with guy like him. They aren't even friends anymore.

"Y/n come here" He motioned for her to follow him and he took her to an abanded locker room

They both sat down on the ground and just stared at one another waiting for someone to break the silence.

Dominik chose to.

"Look im sorry" He whispered

"You should apolagize to your dad" She whispered not looking him in the eye

"I know i should, but thats not why i was apolagizing. Look im so sorry for practically abandoning you and bringing you into all of these messes, I just miss you, I miss you so much n/n"

She teared up at his confession

"I-i miss you too Dom" Both of the superstars smiled at each other

"I can't believe you got signed. It about he time, congrats" He congratulated her

"Thanks" She giggled before continuing

"You look good by the way" She complimented him

His cheeks turned a rosy pink at her compliment.

"Thank you, so do you Y/n"

Y/n looked down, avoiding his gaze while picking at her shirt before she told him what was running through mind.

"I-i dont think we can be friends again" y/n mumbled

"What... Why not" Dominik asked sadly while shaking his head

"You're with the judgement day. They're your friends Dom, plus Rhea wont like me hanging out with you, I think its just better if we avoid one another, im sorry." She smiled at him numbly

"NO.. I was friends with you first, it has always been you n/n i dont need them, its all just Vince and triple H's plan. I need you" He rushed out standing up

Y/n stood up with him and grabbed him hands, looking him in the eye.

"It'll be alr-" She started before she got cut off

Dominik kissed her.

woah.

Y/n froze in shock before she kissed him back and grabbed his neck lightly to deepen the kiss while he put his hands on her waist..

She felt him smile against her lips.

"You don't know how long i've wanted to do that'' He mutters while looking dazed.

"Well i see why they call you dirty dom" she mocked him while smirking

"Shut up" he blushed

"I've loved you for so long"

"I love you too, Remember all i need is you, Its always been you"

~cross-posted on Wattpad & ao3 ~

[morganwrites12672]

Established (but secret) relationship between Robin and reader. This is at the begining of the summer (S3)

A/N; I love this fic, so much! And I cried while writing it. It does have a happy ending!

Robin Buckley x Harrington!Reader

'I won't go down in history, but I will go down on your sister'

It was scary being a lesbian in hawkins, Indiana 1983. It was scary as fuck. If you hit on the wrong girl, the town had a new freak.

You assumed you could handle being labeled, but Steve wouldn't be able to handle being the brother of the fruity fairy.

It was best to stay in the closet. The only person who knew guys weren't your fortay was your girlfriend; Robin Buckley.

"Do you plan on telling your brother?" Robin asks. You had both decided to go hide in the store room. You had agreed to get Steve a date with one of your friends, and he had agreed to man the store.

When you had taken Robin Steve had said something about 'boy talk'. Disgusting.

"I feel like he would be okay with it, but I don't know. I'm nervous,I mean he's like my best friend. We raised each other, but I don't know," you sigh and Robin nods.

"Yeah, I get it. I haven't told anyone. But you," Robin replies and you grab the pen. You had both bought matching red high tops at the beginning of summer. Now you had to mark them.

"Okay, I know what mine should say," Robin says with a laugh, "I think you may like it. "I won't go down in history, but I will go down on your sister,"" she says and you laugh.

"Are you trying to tell Steve we are fucking?" You ask and that only makes Robin laugh even more as she writes it.

"I'm going to write it to, but be honest. What are the chances you think Steve will see that and kill you?" You ask and Robin laughs before handing you the pen.

"100 percent," she laughs as you copy her shoes. Once you finish, you both stand up and look down.

"They match, it's cute. But subtle," she says. No one would know about the two of you. But you did debate telling Steve.

"Im going to tell Steve tonight," you blurt as you both head into work. Robin goes wide eyed before giving you a supportive smile. She mouths 'you got this' before going back to slinging ice cream.

💋

It was another lonely night; just you and Steve. You both had made sandwiches, after a long day at the mall neither one of you had the energy to cook. And you desperately needed to make a grocery run.

"We've ate worse," Steve says as he takes a bite if his peanut butter sandwhich. "like the time I left you in the kitchen unsupervised," Steve was the cook, definitely not you.

Steve had noticed you had been even weirder than normal today. He didn't know why, he assumed girl problems and decided not to pry. You were both pretty open, not really keeping secrets.

You were terrified. What if Steve diddnt accept you? What would you do? If he told your parents, well you would be quite literally dead. And that was if you got lucky.

"Okay, I can't do this. Something is wrong, you've been acting really weird all day," Steve says and you freak the fuck out. It was Steve, of course he knew.

"Look, if you're pregnant, we'll get throufh-" you cut off that bullshit. There was no way in frozen hell that you had gotten pregnant.

"-I'm not pregnant," you say and he looks even more confused. He had no clue why you would be acting different if not.

"Yn, you can tell me," he says softly. You take a deep breath and tears prick your eyes. You go to walk away and Steve follows you.

"You won't love me anymore," you insist and Steve looks bewildered. Why would you think that? Steve was more worried now.

"Yn, there is nothing on this planet you could do that would ever make me not love you," Steve assures and pulls you in for a hug.

You let out a quick sob, you couldn't cry. Why was this so hard? You had assumed once you got over the nerves it would be easy. It wasnt.

"I dont like- I don't like guys Steve," you say and pull away to look at him. He looks more confused then anything.

"If you don't like gu- oh," Steve cuts himself off mid sentence. He realized; you like girls. He didn't care, and would love you either way.

"So, who?" He asks and you let out a choked up laugh. You snifle as he pulls you in for another (awkward) hug. Steve didn't want to fuck this up.

"Well there's this girl," you say with a smile. Steve sees the light you get in your eyes when you begin to speak, "Her smile , it's like heaven. Um, she's really pretty, and she's also my girlfriend," you finish and Steve nods.

"You can't leave me clueless," Steve teases and you decide to tell him. He would find out eventually.

"Robin, Robin Buckley, the band nerd. I love her Steve," you say and look at him. He looks shocked.

"So, Robin likes girls?" You nod, "And you like girls?" You nod yes to both of Steve's questions, "And I like girls," you laugh and nod. Where was he going. He gets a smug smirk on his face, "In simpler terms; we all three love boobies." You groan. That just makes stevd laugh.

"Yes Steve, we love boobies," you laugh to. It was to funny not to. You were being serious, telling him something the could change everything, and he made a boobie joke.

You both spend the rest of the night talking girls. And Steve talks shit about your taste, other then Robin.

💋

I hope you guys liked it! This took forever!

Requests are open! Check my pinned post for who I write for!

[rainbowgaez]

long ramble because i just dropped my gf off at the airport and I am a fucking mess with too many thoughts in my brain

over the last couple weeks, i finally met one of my partners—the one ive been with longer than ive been with literally anyone else in my life. despite being together since mid 2016, this was the first time we both had the wherewithal to make a visit happen, and while that may seem like it took way too long, for a lot of reasons that you don't need to know, it couldn't have happened at a more perfect time.

she flew in on the 26th and immediately i knew we would get along just as easily as we had online for years before then. both of us have always talked about how quiet and introverted we are, but it was one of those things where i didn't know if we were going to truly vibe irl until it happened, even if both of us were pretty sure we would.

we always talked abt how the first car ride from the airport was going to be awkward—it's a 3 hour drive from my place to there. both of us are slow to work up to physical affection, but when i picked her up, it wasn't but like ten or twenty minutes into the ride before we were wrapped up in each other. it just clicked. that's so incredibly rare for me with anyone. even partners ive established intimacy with, i usually have to re-warm up to them after time apart. so the fact that we connected so quickly when we first met was so special.

im a pretty boring, solitary person. my favorite activities are ones in which it's quiet and i can do my own thing. this is always a bit scary for me. i don't want to bore anyone just because my brain only ever feels like engaging with what it wants. but that wasn't a problem with her—quite the opposite, actually. we could just sit there and quietly do our own thing in my room, and it felt every bit as special as it would if we went out and did things. there was no pressure for either of us. we settled into each other's patterns instantly. within days, it felt like she'd been living with us all along. i wished that were the case.

distance is hard. it's a lot of counting. how many miles apart you are. how many hours, days it would take to close the gap. how much time will it be before you can be together for real.

and then, when you plan a visit, it becomes about counting down, and that's so exciting. you start counting the months until it's time. before you know it, you're counting the weeks. it's something to look forward to. something to hang on to.

but the moment you meet, the countdown isnt exciting anymore. it gets a lot harder. you might still have weeks to count, but before you know it, weeks become days. days become hours. hours become minutes. minutes become mile markers, and mile markers become exits, exits become streets, streets become steps, and steps become seconds spent holding each other, waiting for the other to pull away because it's the last thing you want to do. but you have to. that's the only way to start the count over. and that sucks. because you dont get to know how long it's going to be until way later. but just the same, you don't know when the next countdown will be the last one. it's the most terrifying assurance there is.

i feel blessed that me, her, and all my partners exist in the same time, in a reality where we have the ability to connect to each other despite how unlikely the chances of us ever meeting were. i feel lucky to live in a world where, one day, a silly string of text like @nudist-squid can be the first name i know someone who will eventually become one of the most important people in my life by.

but at the same time, im heartbroken and devastated. it feels cruel that we met because of certain circumstances, and yet we exist so far away for those same reasons. and closing that gap takes so much from both of us, and there's no promise we can ever close it for good. but if I can help it, I certainly want to try.

this summer has been dogshit. ive been through so much unnecessary bullshit, and when things have been looking to improve, something else happens. but this was the most wonderful bookend to a dismal season i could have asked for.

thanks for reading.

[haemosexuality]

insanely long analysis of the ep promise of she-ra <3

(first a bit of S1e10- the beacon)

[Adora is talking to the woods as she-ra.] Just let me fix this, please!  I-I can’t let anyone else get hurt. [she transforms back into adora and sits down] Fine. You win. You want me to be weak? Well. I am.  And I’m afraid. Because, I-I’m no good at any of this.

God doesn’t that hurt immediately off the bat. “just let me fix this, please” is a perfect summary of adoras entire character. She is so, so desperate to be useful- she needs to help other people, she needs to fix everything and save everyone. She cant let herself be a person, shes a vessel (HRUAHHRAGHHH season 5) to help others, shes a tool and a means to an end. Shes the hero. But shes bad at that, because no matter how much she represses herself, she feels and wants things so strongly all the time. She hopes and begs for direction and destiny but shes terrified of not having control. She will desperately try again and again to be the perfect hero-sacrifice that will heal the world and keep her friends safe but she doesn’t want that, not really, what she wants is to go to parties and hang out with her friends and catra, but she feels she doesn’t deserve that. She cant let herself have anything she wants. But she still does. Shes afraid and shes weak and shes too young for this. Her wanting things so strongly is what ruins everyones plans, shadow weaver’s and light hope’s and horde prime’s. its what saves everyone. This doesn’t have anything to do w the scene I was talking about anymore oops. “I’m no good at any of this” just confirms that, shes bad at being your standard self sacrificing selfless hero in the same way catra was bad at being an unfeeling purely evil villain. She just cant stop being a person

Ok now onto Promise: the ep starts immediately after that scene, with adora going inside the crystal castle looking for answers on how to heal glimmer, and catra following after her looking for tech that she can use (and also to spy on adora bc that might not have been her primary objective but shes not gonna pass up on that chance lol)

“You are not ready yet. You must let go.” “let go of what?” [camera pans to catra] will always be so. Ugh poetic cinema

How did anyone ever trust light hope lmao immediately from the first time she shows up shes all like “free yourself of all of your earthly attachments and join my hero training course”. Also, again, adora’s attachment to catra (and glimmer and bow) has always been the main thing saving her from falling head first into self sacrificial bullshit. She cant let go of her. She will never fully let go of her.

Catra: What's going on? Why are those things trying to kill us?

She-Ra: They're trying to kill you. This place sees you as an invader.

Catra: Well, can't you tell them to stop?

She-Ra: [incredulously, frustrated] No, I can't tell them to stop! Clearly nothing in here is listening to me!

Oh I just realized something. The crystal castle is a place that was made for adora and caters to her, and it sees catra as an invader. Much like how in the Horde, adora was favoritized and shadow weaver’s center of attention while catra was mistreated and discarded. Seen as an invasion, a corrupting force in Adora’s life. The one thing adora cant control in the crystal castle is how it reacts to catra, it activates security protocol no matter what she does, like how adora could never fully protect catra from shadow weaver and the others. Even throughout the episode and at the end, we see catra fighting tooth and nail to survive everything the castle throws at her while adora undermines her (“I had it.” “Sure you did.”), and by the end all her fighting pays off and she comes out victorious, like how she goes up in the horde until shes effectively its lord. The crystal castle (im just gonna call it CC) literally becomes the fright zone throught the simulation too I cant believe I didn’t get this before

Catra: Anyway, what are you doing here? [angrily, sarcastically] Where are your new best friends? I thought you guys did eVeRyThInG together.

The similarity between this and the flashback scene where we see a child catra say “go eat with your new best friend lonnie! I know you like her better than me. Youre supposed to me my friend” really shows how immature they still are I think. Not as a like, inherent character flaw or smth, they just weren’t raised in a place where emotional maturity is a thing you learn. They were never taught how to deal with their emotions in any way, other than “repress it really hard, hit someone and blow up a civilian”. Of course theyre emotionally stunted. This probably also contributes to both of them’s very black and white way of thinking. Also theyre still in the 17-18 range so like literally theyre teens. Just goes to show that them being separated for a while was necessary, bc they needed to break off their codependency to be able to grow as people and mature emotionally, that would never happen if they stayed together and just enabling each others toxic traits, instead of being able to have a healthy relationship like they do after the end.

Something I also never considered before is why the CC showed them the memories it did? Like. Was it light hope that chose those? I assume so since she not only has shown she can do that but also watched adora her entire life so she knows all her memories. Did she specifically pick out painful memories that she thought would tear them further apart? It seems obvious now but I just never thought ab this before. The first memory shown does go against that tho, its just baby adora and catra being cute. Maybe she wanted to show them how much their relationship had deteriorated?

↑ gay

↑ gay

↑ gay

Ooooouough this is when it starts to hurt pray for my emotional stability

Adora: ...Can I ask you something?

Catra: Can I stop you?

Adora: ...Why did you help me escape after Shadow Weaver captured us?

Catra: Not this again.

Adora: It's the one thing I can't figure out. You didn't have to do that. You could've gotten caught...why risk it? [Rock on the edge crumbles beneath her; yelps] Whoa, whoa, whoa--!

Catra: Did you really think I'd just let Shadow Weaver erase your memory like that?

Adora: I dunno. Probably.

[Adora grunts as Catra pulls her up]

Catra: Yeah, well, you never did have too much faith in me.

Adora: Can you blame me?

Catra: Not really.

This is so. Ugh. I love adora but especially in the first season shes so.. girl what are you doing!!!! How can she be so ignorant. Obviously I know how but. Augh so much of catra’s hurt stems from this… when I say that adora was fully, totally brainwashed by the horde, I don’t mean just that she believed their propaganda about the war, or whatever bullshit shadow weaver ingrained in her about her purpose. She also believed what they all said about catra. To a lesser extend, obviously, and she loved catra with all of herself- but she did still believe catra was a bit lazy, kinda disrespectful, uncaring, etc. and I cant even totally blame her, because catra actively tried to make herself seem all those things. Catra didn’t want to let anyone know how hard she tried, how much she hurt, so she played up the “aloof, lazy student/soldier who doesn’t care about anything” role as much as she could. But still, god, the way adora treated her must have hurt so much. “you never did have too much faith in me” absolutely breaks my heart. Catra cared about adora so much. She cared about adora more than anything in her life. Obviously she would do anything to prove herself once she can, look at how even the person who loved her the most thought about her. Im gonna talk more ab this later there are better scenes for that. But also I CANNOT BELIEVE ADORA IN THIS!!! GIRL WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!!! WDYM CAN U BLAME ME YES I CAN (ignore the part where I said I couldn’t) DON’T JUST SAY THAT SHE SAVED YOUR LIFE. OH MY GOD ok. Being a catra, an adora, and a catradora stan means sometimes u really want to slap s1 adora in the face. For multiple reasons. and the fact catra agrees too…. Catra hates herself so much. She truly honestly believes shes a bad person and it breaks my heart. And unfortunately for everyone, catra has shown that she'll always play a role that shes assigned to the max. everyone believed that shes a villain, she believed that shes a villain, so by fucking god shes gonna be a villain.

putting the rest of this under a readmore bc its longggg

her tail touching adoras hand i am on the floor

Catra: It wasn't all bad growing up in the Fright Zone, was it? I mean, you still have some good memories, right? (dont trust the subtitles in the pics theyre wrong)

THIS scene destroys me. Catra’s so- she always knew the horde was evil, ok, she always knew their childhood was bad. But she endured it for adora. To catra, all the happy memories they made growing up were worth it- all for adora. It didn’t matter what they did. Only to see adora throw all these moments away the moment she realized the rest of it was bad? God, catra mustve felt like she was garbage to adora. Something that wasn’t even worth thinking about once she had the opportunity of something better. Shes very aloof here, as always, but she probably feels a bit desperate- was it worth it for you too? Did any of it matter to you? Where you just miserable the entire time?

Adora: Of course I do. But it doesn't change the fact that the Horde is evil. I had no choice. I couldn't go back.

This is adora’s biggest problem tho. She had no choice, she couldn’t go back. She never feels like she can choose anything based on what she actually wants. Shes always, always driven by this need to do good, the right thing. And this is where theyre most incompatible at first, because while catra only cares about adora and that’s her priority, adora has Morals and puts the greater good over her personal relationships, which to catra makes it seem like she doesn’t care about her. Her happy memories were absolutely worth it to adora, but theyre not more important than the good of the entire world. (I don’t think adora having a sense of morality and not wanting to side with a military empire is a bad thing, catra was the villain of the show for a reason and the reason is that obviously working for something that wants to take over the world is bad. Im just explaining how this is what drove them apart, how catras mind works, and to an extend why you can understand her side and emphatize with her even if she was in the wrong. That trait of adora’s does get bad when she starts acting like she needs to kill herself for that greater good tho.)

them taking a moment to play-fight in the middle of all of that makes me want to sobbbbb 😭😭😭

TINY LITTLE BABIESSSSSSSSSSS Young Catra: What was that? Way to gang up on me!

Young Lonnie: You were fighting dirty. I was just leveling the field.

[Catra shakes and growls in anger as Adora walks up and places a hand on Catra's shoulder]

Young Adora: Hey, you were awesome! Did I hurt you?

Young Catra: No, I'm fine. You're just lucky I let you win.

Young Adora: Riiiiiiiight.

Young Catra: I'm serious! [scoffs] If I came in first, people might expect me to actually start doing stuff around here. Trust me, second place suits me just fine.

Young Adora: Yeah, okay.

EVERYTHING I SAID BEFORE. you can see catra was obviously extremely upset that she didn’t win, but admitting that would be admitting defeat. She shrinks herself to fit into this “no im fine, im chill, im not even trying in fact. I don’t care” attitude, because that hurts less than admitting that shes trying so, so hard but no one believes in her and she keeps losing to adora (mostly bc the other cadets and staff favoritize adora over her, and discriminate against her, making it harder for her to succeed in anything). And adora believes her. “second place suits me just fine” was the mantra catra kept telling herself through her entire life to try and feel less hurt about living in adoras shadow.

though it wasn’t working, and her resentment towards adora kept growing more and more.

oh this scene could be ab so many things. Catra literally slipping through her fingers. A parallel to earlier, when catra held onto adora and helped her up, while here theyre torn apart by a force stronger than them. How adora tried but couldn’t save catra. Aughh

:(

and here, we see how capable catra is. Shes both extremely strong (able to rip herself out of… whatever that is) and extremely smart, even under pressure (in seconds she figures out where she has damage this thing shes never seen before so it stops working)

only for adora to come in, “save the day” after she had already saved herself, and act all. “sure you did” about it. Again, making absolutely clear catra knows she doesn’t believe in her.

Adora: What is your problem? I was just trying to save you.

Catra: For the last time, I don't need you to save me. I've been doing just fine on my own. No thanks to you.

That says everything on its own. Adora doesn’t understand why catra is hurt/angry, she doesn’t even understand how what she said undermines catra. And catra is extremely bitter that adora keeps acting like That. Also, something I haven’t touched on is that adora leaving the horde put catra in so much danger. She was the only thing providing catra with even the slightest bit of protection, which catra -hated- but absolutely depended on, since shadow weaver had made clear that catra was -only ever kept alive because of adora-. Adora defecting put catra in danger not only of the other cadets targeting her, but of death. Catra was left all alone to survive in those conditions, and she did, and now adora keeps acting like catra needs her to save her.

Adora: Catra, wait. ...I'm sorry for leaving. I couldn't go back to the Fright Zone, not after I saw what the Horde was really doing. something that must have stung too is the idea that adora saw innocent people suffering, and that led her to realize that the horde was bad. But she had seen catra being abused by the horde their whole life, and yet still thought the horde was good. What does that say about how adora saw catra? Did she think catra deserve it, wasn’t innocent enough for that violence to be unwarranted? Was her suffering not enough for adora to realize how fucked up that was? (again, we’re able to know that it wasn’t that, adora was just as abused as catra, watching someone be physically abused is also extremely traumatized and kids will learn to justify the abuse theyre experiencing to themselves or others and might not realize its wrong u cant expect a kid to know how to act in a situation like that she was in as much survival mode as catra was and her trying to keep herself in shadow weaver’s good side was just her desperately trying to keep herself safe etc etc this is from catras perspective) I never wanted to leave you. ...You could come with me! You-you-you could join the rebellion! I know you're not a bad person, Catra. You don't belong with the Horde.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA this hurts so much. Adora might have internalized some of what the horde said ab catra and catra might have felt that 10 times as strong than it actually was but adora never actually believed catra was a bad person. Shes probably the only one (before scorpia and entrapta) that Didn’t think catra was destined to be a disgrace, to be bad. And its so sad bc even with all their flaws she loves catra so so much and she wants catra to come with her so much. Adora now has access to a life where she has the opportunity to be happy and she so desperately wants to give catra that same life. She knows catra deserves better and she can see that now more clearly than ever. But its too late, catra is too hurt and too angry to follow her and even if at this point adoras words might have some effect on her, its about to get so much worse. :(

Fuck this next part is going to hurt. Ok

Shadow Weaver: [screams angrily] Get out!

[Young Adora cries out in alarm as dark magic encloses the exit]

Shadow Weaver: Catra... [young Adora turns to see young Catra's form enveloped in a paralyzing, zapping magic] ...you stay.

[Young Catra grunts as she is forced to stand]

Shadow Weaver: What do you think you're doing in here?

[Shadow Weaver makes young Catra turn, feet squeaking on the floor as she does so without picking up her feet; Shadow Weaver clicks her mask back in place]

Catra: [fearfully] We were just playing.

Shadow Weaver: [hatefully] Insolent child. I've come to expect such disgraceful behavior from you. But I will not allow you to drag Adora down as well.

Adora: [pleading] Shadow Weaver, it wasn't her fault, it was my idea, too!

Shadow Weaver: [hatefully, still talking to Catra] You have never been anything more than a nuisance to me! I've kept you around this long because Adora was fond of you, but if you ever do anything to jeopardize her future, I will dispose of you myself. [slowly, enunciating] Do you understand?

Adora: [runs between them, throwing her arms out to protect young Catra; pleading] Please stop!

[The dark magic dissipates back into Shadow Weaver's cloak as she groans and moves back toward the Garnet; Young Adora and young Catra share a look before young Adora runs over to Shadow Weaver]

Adora: She didn't mean to!

Shadow Weaver: [placidly, attempting to soothe] Adora, you must do a better job of keeping her under control. [Shadow Weaver finally lets young Catra out of the paralyzing magic and she grunts as she falls to the ground] Do not let something like this happen again. [she pats young Adora's head as young Catra looks on]

Transcripts and screenshots cannot properly convey the dread of this scene. In a flashback, catra and adora are caught by shadow weaver playing in a place they weren’t supposed to be in, and shadow weaver paralyzes catra with electric magic we know is extremely painful to be caught in, and threatens her life. Catra and adora look to be like, between 6-7 years old in this scene. Theres so much happening here. This lays the foundation to basically everything that happens in the show.

First off, shadow weaver singles out, physically hurts catra, and blames her for something that adora initiated. then, she makes it clear that she sees catra and someone that is bad, and she doesn’t expect anything else from her. And, she says catra is a bad influence in adora’s life, tainting whats perfect, and that tells her that every time after this that adora “acts out”, will be catra’s fault.

she tells catra that, if she ever feels like catra is “ruining” adora, she will get killed. From now on, adora’s friendship is literally what is keeping catra alive. This will, understandably, fuck their relationship up a little bit and also make catra incredibly dependent on adora. She will do anything to keep being adora’s friend and she will have to make sure that shadow weaver doesn’t feel like she is making adora behave out of line or that she isn’t becoming better than adora, isn’t taking her number 1 spot away from her.

she goes on to tell adora, who has been watching all of this, that its her job to make sure catra is kept in line. She’s seen what happens when she doesn’t. this will make adora feel incredibly responsible for catras well being, and like she has to constantly save catra and beg for catra to act right, otherwise catra will get hurt and itll be her fault. On the other hand, adora is a child who just saw someone get tortured, and subconsciously shes gonna make sure to always stay in shadow weavers good side, not only bc if she doesn’t then catra gets punished but because she does not want that to happen to her too.

catra, who was frozen and electrocuted and berated, saw adora get gently talked to, “reassured”, and receive physical affection.

that results in catra growing up both extremely attached and extremely bitter of adora, for “having it easy” and always acting like shes her savior, while she has to constantly walk on eggshells (on a minefield, honestly) so she doesn’t get physically abused. She starts resenting adora as anything she does gets blamed on her, and shes forced to live as her shadow, her bad influence, the devil to adora’s angel. And in adora having a major savior/messiah complex, she feels like shes responsible for saving everyone, and every time someone gets hurt its her fault. She will live the rest of her life trying fix and save everything, because if she can’t then what good is she?

understanding that this is where all of their motivations, flaws, traumas and personalities come from will help u understand the entire show better tbh. It all comes down to shadow weaver. [Young Adora and Catra are walking down a hall in the Fright Zone, just after this incident; they walk past a pillar and become Present Adora and Catra again]

Catra: You always need to play the hero, don't you?

Adora: I was only trying to protect you.

Catra: You never protected me! Not in any way that would put you on Shadow Weaver's bad side.

[Scene transitions to Young Adora and Catra in the same place]

Young Catra: Admit it. You love being her favorite!

Young Adora:  That's not true!

Young Catra: Oh, yeah? [glitches back to Present Catra (and Adora)] When you left, who do you think took the fall for you? Who was protecting me then?

Adora: You don't have to let Shadow Weaver treat you like that anymore. You can leave--[glitches back to Young Adora and Catra]--just like I did!

Young Catra: Oh, because I need to follow you everywhere you go?!

Young Adora: I didn't mean it that way.

[glitches back to Present Adora and Catra]

Catra: I don't. Want. To leave. What don't you understand about that? I'm not afraid of Shadow Weaver anymore, and I'm a better Force Captain than you would've ever been.

[glitches back to Young Adora and Catra]

Young Adora: You always said you didn't care about things like that...

Young Catra: [crying] Well, I was lying, obviously!

[glitches back to Present Adora and Catra; Catra begins to walk away]

Adora: Catra, just wait!

Catra: Why do you think I gave the sword back to you in the Fright Zone? I didn't want you to come back, Adora!

That scene lays out everything I said so perfectly I don’t even have anything to add.

This scene where catra is running through a simulation of all her most painful memories and desperately screams LET! ME! OUT OF HERE!! perfectly represents what spiraling like that feels like

[a younger Catra, maybe 5 or younger, is crying and hiding her face in a blanket on their bunk in the Fright Zone]

Young Adora: [peers from around a doorway] ...Catra?

[Young Catra continues to sob as Young Adora walks to her; Young Adora peels back the cover from Young Catra's face, and Young Catra hisses]

Young Adora: Catra, it's okay, it's just me. It doesn't matter what they do to us, you know? You look out for me, and I look out for you. Nothing really bad can happen as long as we have each other.

Young Catra and Present Catra: You promise?

Young Adora: I promise.

And then the promise. Everything catra went through, all the abuse and bullying, she put up with all of it because of this. She held onto their promise until the end. But the moment adora decided to leave the horde, she broke their promise.

as the memory-simulation ends, young catra gives a look to present catra. One that probably said, remember this. Remember how much you mean for each other. Don’t break your part of the promise. But this isn’t how catra takes it at all. all this tells catra, all that this entire day has told catra, is how terrible adora is. Adora ruined her life. Adora lied to her, said they’d be together forever only to abandon her. Adora forced her to be in her shadow. Adora is the reason shadow weaver never treated her right. She looks at her younger self and thinks, I'll avenge you. Im never gonna let anyone hurt you ever again. Im going to show all of them how strong I can be, ill rise to the top and ill be unstoppable. Im never letting anybody put me down ever again.

(and then is season 5, seeing a younger version of herself is also what makes her realize how wrong she was, how this isn’t the path she wants to take. Its what motivates her to get better, be better. Thinking about herself as a child kickstarted both her descent into being a villain and her redemption arc/recovery.) [Adora is holding onto dear life to some ropes or smth that are keeping her from falling off a cliff. Catra shows up]

Adora: [hopeful] Catra?

Catra: [holding the sword, rubs a finger along its side] Hey, Adora.

Adora: [pleading] Catra, help me, please...

Catra: [contemplatively unhurried] This thing wouldn't work for me if I tried, would it? It only works for you. Then again, you're special. That's what Shadow Weaver always said.

Adora: Catra...what are you doing?

Catra: Ah, you know? It all makes sense now. You've always been the one holding me back. You wanted me to think I needed you. You wanted me to feel weak. Every hero needs a sidekick, right?

Adora: [desperately] Catra, no, that's not how it was...

Catra: [laughs humorlessly] The sad thing is, I've spent all this time hoping you'd come back to the Horde, when really you leaving was the best thing that ever happened to me. I am so much stronger than anyone ever thought.  

I wonder what I could've been if I'd gotten rid of you sooner...

[Catra cuts the last of the rope holding Adora up; Adora shrieks as she falls, catching a rock handhold on the way down]

Adora: I-I'm sorry! I never meant to make you feel like you were second best! Please don't do this!

[Catra looks at the sword, then tosses it into the chasm; it clangs on the way down, Adora gasps lightly]

Catra: Bye, Adora. I really am going to miss you.

 And then she fucking lion kings adora. The fucking episode ever number 1 villain origin story of the century catra you will always be everything to me. Writing this took 6 hours im so tired. And then the episode ends with light hope once more telling adora she needs to let go AUGH so good. I need to go to sleep. if you read all of this i love u i hope u liked it <3 also u might like this post also

[feeling-kinda-sad-ngl]

okay looking into nursing again because im terrified that if i go as planned into baking right away ill burn out, resent it, be broke for life, or realize i spent all that money for a useless degree

i cant even remember what put me off going into healthcare, i think one of the biggest culprits was math lol

also not being able to handle school and a mentality of "well, high school was shitty and my grades were too so im gonna scrap all of that and go for happiness right away instead"

but now im like hmm i cant really afford to use this happiness as income right now and theres a very real chance that if i turn this happiness into a job then ill burn out and it wont be a source of happiness anymore