#and like.... well that just can't be true...

[niwaart]

FAMILY WITHOUT LIGHT

[#part1 #part2 #part3]

Dick panicked, he gripped his phone tightly, his knuckles turning white from the force of his grip.

《This number is unreachable, please try again later.》

Dick let out a scream of anger and impatience, he had been trying to call Y/N for over 5 hours, just to get an answer. Why did she leave the house?… All this happened when he was in his Nightwing costume doing a normal nighttime mission after tying up criminals, a newspaper with Bruce’s picture caught his attention, Dick wondered what new drama the journalists were talking about this time, as soon as he grabbed the newspaper he felt like the air was being sucked out of him. It took him over a minute to process what was being said…

##Bruce Wayne and Y/N Wayne divorced after more than 15 years.##

No... that's a lie, just another rumor, it can't be true, maybe Bruce doesn't care about Y/N but Y/N wouldn't leave the house... after all he saw her love for Damian and Tim, and how she cared for them... so this is just a rumor... right?....

Dick took the newspaper with him and quickly ran to his apartment... He needed to make sure.. He had to get to his apartment to call Y/N.. She would tell him the truth, reassure him, tell him that everything was okay.... As soon as he got to his apartment window, he opened it and entered after entering the access code. His dog Haley approached him, he gave her a few pats before he reached his phone and called Y/N... But she didn't answer his calls.... He tried and tried and tried... But no answer... Could it be true?... Did Y/N leave the house?... Why?....

He was going to call Bruce but he was mad at him for not stopping Y/N from leaving and that he might be the reason Y/N left. So he decided to call Alfred who immediately answered, "Mr. Dick, how may I help you?" "Hello Alfred... Sorry to bother you now... The thing is... I..." Dick hesitated... He was afraid to hear the answer...

“I just called Y/N and she didn’t answer… so I was wondering if everything was okay…” Dick answered, praying with all his might that there was an excuse other than the divorce… “Oh… Mr. Dick… I don’t know how to tell you this… but… Y/N and Bruce have been divorced for three months now…” Alfred’s answer was like a knife slicing into his chest… well maybe deep down he knew the divorce was real… but… three months ago?… and no one told him?… “How… why?… why the divorce, and why didn’t anyone tell me?” Dick’s voice was muffled, he tried not to cry, he tried to control himself a little… “I’m sorry Mr. Dick… it was such a shock to everyone that I forgot to tell you… as for the divorce, Y/N chose that herself… unfortunately…” Alfred’s voice was filled with pain, making it even harder for Dick to hold back his tears… Y/N had left them… she had left them…

Dick hung up the phone after thanking Alfred and collapsed on the floor crying… His dog Haley was beside him trying to comfort him… But it didn’t work… It took Dick maybe half an hour to calm himself down… He tried to take deep breaths in and out… Then he hugged his dog Haley who had already settled happily in his lap. Dick was sitting on the floor leaning his head on the bed behind him while looking at the ceiling of his apartment. He couldn’t help but remember all the memories with Y/N. Dick may not have said it out loud before, but he considered Y/N as his mother… She always took care of him, he still remembers the first time he came to Wayne Manor after his parents died, he was full of anger and wanted revenge, Bruce was trying to channel his anger in a good way to fight the bad guys, but Y/N allowed him to vent his anger, by crying and getting all his feelings out and not holding them in, he remembers that he was mean to her at first, thinking that she was trying to be his mother, but after a while, it turned out that she was just trying to help him, she helped him decorate his parents' grave, buy new things, and when he fought with Bruce she took his side… and even now she still against Bruce and side with Damian, he loved the stories she told, she helped him and encouraged him to speak his mind and thoughts and not hold them in… even when he had a big fight with Bruce and decided to leave the house to be independent… She called him every night, asking him how he was, and if he tried to lie she would know and ask him to tell the truth, which he actually couldn't resistance, so he was always honest with her, Dick was used to being a leader and a good big brother, everyone depended on him… and Y/N was the one he could count on, she was the light of his life, she was family, until recently she used to call him and check on him, now he knew why she hadn't called in three months… He sighed and looked down to see that Haley was asleep, he picked her up and put her in her bed. Even if Y/N had left the house, she still loved them, he was sure, maybe if he went back to Gotham and talked to her he would understand, yeah, maybe she had left the house, but she wouldn't leave them, she still loved them. He was sure

In Gotham... specifically at Wayne Manor, Tim was suffering from a headache and back pain, he was lying in his bed... well maybe not his bed, but in Y/N's bed and room. His work and the pile of papers were almost competing with the towering mountains... when did paperwork become so stressful and tiring? He didn't remember this ever being a problem for him, he wouldn't lie to himself, he knew that Y/N's departure was the reason for the work to be doubled, the sleep to be less, and the pain to be more, Y/N used to do almost all the work for him, so he could rest, but now he couldn't balance his sleeping time, eating, doing all the work, solving cases, and becoming Red Robin, it was too much, Y/N was managing it so well, she did his work, made sure he ate and drank enough before she literally dragged him from the Batcave to the palace to sleep against his will, she always carried him like a baby, he always wondered how she could carry him so easily, okay he'd admit that when he first came to the palace he was a very skinny baby, but he grew up and became muscular, maybe not like Duck or Jason but he sure wasn't light, anyway that didn't concern him now... The problem here is that he hasn't slept in... two days? He doesn't know, maybe it's been three days... He hates that Y/N used to carry him to his room and stay by his side until he fell asleep, and he hated that she knew that sometimes he pretended to sleep, so she wouldn't leave until Tim was completely asleep... Sometimes Tim couldn't sleep easily, like when there was a mission or a case on his mind but Y/N carried him to his room before he could finish it, so he would complain and sometimes beg Y/N to finish the case, that it wouldn't take long, but Y/N always refused... And he couldn't sleep because of the case that consumed his mind, so Y/N would sometimes tell him stories... And it worked to make him sleep... He wondered if Y/N's stories were real, because they didn't seem imaginary at all, her stories were strangely realistic, to the point that all Tim's attention was only on the story until he fell asleep. And so Tim became forced to sleep because of Y/N, food and water, when he should take a break and when he should finish the case, Y/N was organizing his life, he didn't remember getting tired or exhausted from this organization, on the contrary, he was getting enough sleep and food to renew his energy, and even after he came back from his break he would come back with more energy and his solving of cases was at an amazingly higher rate than before, it was very useful, Y/N was the only one who knew how to organize him amazingly with all the work he had. But Y/N wasn't just organizing his life, she even hid his mistakes. Sometimes he would come back from missions with some wounds. Tim didn't like to say that he was injured, it made him weak, and he didn't want to be weak, but Y/N would discover every wound he had, even if it was hidden. The good thing was that she never told Bruce about the injuries, and if the injuries were serious, she would make an excuse for Tim not to go on the next mission. She would cover up all his failures and mistakes in silence... and he was grateful to her. He still remembered when Damian first came and took the Robin costume from him, she would comfort him and stay by his side and tell him that Robin wasn't the one wearing the costume, Robin was the one who protected the children of this city.

It really helped him… he remembered when he asked her advice about his new costume and name, and she encouraged him… she was proud of him, he saw it in her eyes, and when Batman disappeared and everyone thought he was dead and Dick was about to put him in Arkham, Y/N was the first to protest and the first to hit Dick… well that problem was solved a while ago and Y/N was so mad at Dick, it took Dick over three weeks to try to get her to forgive him… it was funny to Tim. She got mad for him. For him… he missed her… she was his whole life, now he couldn’t sleep or work, even his appetite was gone… he could barely survive on coffee now. That’s why he moved into her room a few weeks after she left, he wouldn’t say he slept well, but at least he did, now her scent, her warmth, even her voice and her look at him were gone. When he moved into her room he had a fight with Damian about it, that was the first and last fight they had since Y/N left. Damian wouldn't like it if Tim was the one taking over Y/N's room, and it was a long, tiring fight, in which Damian gave in for the first time ever, letting Tim sleep in Y/N's room. Tim knew very well why Damian was angry, that he missed Y/N too, Damian had changed dramatically after her departure, he barely spoke inside the house, and even on missions he didn't have the same enthusiasm as usual, and he didn't blame Damian for that, he missed her himself... but he had to thank his position as CEO of WE for that which helped him see Y/N a lot, he had multiple meetings with Y/N's family company under the pretext of resuming relations again, just to see Y/N, and one of the meetings was always cancelled due to circumstances, whether from his side or Y/N's, and the first meeting that finally happened was last night, and after more than three months he saw Y/N again, when she entered the meeting room she automatically patted him on the head and asked him how he was and that his appearance looked bad and he should eat and sleep well... Tim was silent, he felt a lump in his throat, if there weren't other people in the room he would have collapsed and hugged her and asked her to come back, but he remained silent looking down Trying to breathe slowly, after the meeting ended he wanted to catch up with her, and talk to her alone and tell her that he needed her back, he hadn't slept in a long time, but because of some old businessmen that Tim was planning to throw out who blocked his way with some questions, invitations and failed offers that caused Tim to be late to catch up with Y/N, but it's okay, he will have another meeting with her, and he will ask her to go home.

Tim sighed as he tried to sleep for the sixth time and was about to fall asleep this time but the knocking on the door woke him up. He grumbled and cursed under his breath at the person at the door unless that person was Alfred, Tim got up lazily and opened the door to be surprised by Damian standing at the door... "Oh? Damian? What's wrong?" Tim noticed Damian's eyes were puffy from crying, he wasn't surprised, ever since Y/N left Damian had been crying a lot, not that anyone would tell him that was obvious. "I want you to find me two people, they're from my school, and they call Y/N my aunt." Damian said calmly without any arrogance. Tim looked at him in confusion for a while, could it be that Damian was after Y/N now? "And before you say anything I know that you're trying to get Y/N back through the meetings you request from her family's company." Damian continued crossing his arms. Tim tensed for a moment, he didn't know that it was obvious, then sighed in surrender. "Okay, come in."

@itsmadamehydra @sirenetheblogger @insomniaccorner @nommingonfood @supernaturalmarvelfan @moe-moes-stuff @stickyricewithmangosauce @emeraldcutie44 @randomlyappearingartist @type-ink @kittzu @west-c0ast-00 @hjgdhghoe @sweetconnoisseurgardener @bat1212 @wassupbroski55555 @purplelady22 @c4xcocoa

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[cosmosluckycharms]

Bug Like Angel

pt3

What's wrong with me?

After a while you rush downstairs, excited to tell everyone all about your trip and how fun it was.

You're excited to tell them all about how smart you are and how Liz Allan is considering you for an internship!

You're excited to tell them about how you and your friends didn't get in trouble and how most of the class was uninterested other than you!

You're excited to tell them about how you're so thankful for this trip!

You're excited to tell them how you even learned about Ozcorp!

You're so excited to tell everyone about how you were asking so many questions and how you even got to meet Liz Allan at all!

You find Tim on the couch watching TV while also on his phone.You ran up to him and sat next to him on the couch.

"Hey Tim!" you started rambling about your trip and your friends, not noticing him giving you a stink eye. You weren't the most observant person.

In the middle of you talking about how your friend tripped while you guys were learning about their projects, he got up and left.

"Hey, where are you going?" you asked while tilting your head.

"I need to do something, homework came up," he said, not even looking at you.

You knew he was lying.

Well, you tried...

Next up, you tried to tell Dick.

He was in Bludhaven, so you could only text him.

You've probably texted him over a million times, and he's probably only replied, like, twice.

You wish you could say "That's just how he was with everyone!" but you know it's not true. You can't lie to yourself like that.

You've seen how he treats everyone else.

How he treats Damian the way you wish you were treated by him at his age.

How he goes out to hang out with Tim.

How he checks up on Jason.

None of which has ever been done with you.

He never replied to your text, he has always had your notifications silenced anyway.

You tried telling Bruce, but he was busy trying to figure out a case. He didn't mean to ignore you! he was just..busy..like always.

There isn't much to say, other than how you're not sure this is how fathers are supposed to treat their kids.

When you were younger, you saw how your friends dads treated their kids like they were the light of their life.

And the truth was that they probably were, unlike you.

You tried telling Alfred, and he did listen! ..but he had to go help Bruce and Tim so he had to leave mid-conversation.

Duty calls.

You tried talking to Damian, but all he did was tell you you were "pathetic for being excited over something so trivial". Before sharpening his katana in an intimidating way.

You backed off.

Last but not least, you tried telling Jason.

You got excited and started jumping in place while talking about it only for him to shoo you away and yell at you for interrupting him while he was reading.

You froze and teared up when you got yelled at, you tried hiding it but even he noticed.

You stayed in your room the rest of the day.

You tried playing your guitar to calm you down only for you to break a string somehow.

Yikes. Today is not your day.

By dinnertime, you were starving.

You forgot to grab breakfast while trying to talk to the others, and you were crying when it was time for lunch due to Jason yelling at you.

You went downstairs to eat with everyone, eyes still puffy and red from crying. You were hungry.

While walking downstairs, you could hear everyone laughing and chatting together.

As soon as you appeared in the room, it went silent and the room got tense.

It stayed that way until you left.

You finally got to your room.

You don't understand.

What's wrong with you?

Your body? Face? Your hair? How you speak? How you dress?

They keep you guessing.

What's wrong with you?

Could it them?

It's probably you!

Why won't they just listen for once?!

It's clear you want them near you, you need attention, you need them.

You feel yourself start crying again.

"Please don't ignore me." you whisper to yourself.

Suddenly the room is spinning, you feel like you're melting, and everything's wrong with you!

The bite itches, it burns, you just wanna sleep, you're well rested, you feel like you're melting, why can't it stop?!

Everything's going wrong!

You're tired of them! Tired of Dicks dumb excuses on why you two could never hang out! Tired of Jason's constant pushing you away! Tired of Tim always leaving you! Tired of Damian always attacking you, verbally and physically! Tired of Alfred always defending everyone but you! Tired of your father dismissing you!

You wanna cry. You wanna cry and scream and hit something.

Maybe you should stop trying. You're the only one who cares.

You can't keep pretending you're fine.

You've decided to stop caring about them.

You think you deserve better.

You aren't sure.

You don't think you'll ever be.

Who are you really?

oml this is kinda bad...

guys trust in future chapters i WILL be including more of the spider stuff🙏🙏🙏 its on its way

everyones prolly ooc i dont know what im on about

guys pls sned asks and stuff and interact its wjat keeps me goimg 🙏

also should inpost my series on ao3 question mark

taglist: @bath1lda @mariadvorak

[n0vazsq]

Chivalry is dead | Alexandra Saint Mleux x Reader

pairing . . . alexandra saint mleux x leclerc!reader

summary . . . Everybody thought Alex was dating your older brother Charles, and that you were dating your own person. But when a photo of you two kissing at Jimmy'z got leaked, everything changed

request . . . no!!

word count . . . N/A

warnings . . . none! THIS WAS WHEN ALEX HAD HER INSTA AS PRIVATE !!!!

faceclaim . . . various girls from pinterest!

alexavia yaps . . . WOOHOO GIRLY LOVE!!!!!!! anyway i <3 alex shes so pretty so yes!! first time im writing for a wag which is so excting omg!! timeline doesn't make sense so ignore that! legit took me like 4 days to finish idk why AND ITS KINDA CRNGE AND SHITTY ASL but lets focus on it being published <3

yourusername has posted two new stories !

caption 1: i wish i knew what was so interesting // caption 2: dinner with my girl 🤍

click to view all messages

username1 gorgeous girls omg

username2 my girl?? i see you y/n 👀

username3 alex abandoning charles to go with you lmao

username4 i wish i was a wag

username5 so prettyyyyy

alexandrasaintmleux i had so much fun mon ange 🤍

yourusername everything is fun with you mia bella ragazza 🤍🤍

username7 my GOD youre stunning

username8 replying to this in hope of y/n seeing my dm

username9 holy shit you two look like goddess'

charles_leclerc stealing my girlfriend now?

yourusername hilarious

charles_leclerc just joking, you two look stunning

yourusername thanks charlie

username10 my oh my i dropped dead

username11 where's the dress from?

username12 my dream in life is to be famous and post shit like this

alexandrasaintmleux

liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc, francisca.cgomes and 732 others

alexandrasaintmleux someone partied too hard and missed breakfast Tagged: yourusername

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friend1 let me guess, she slept until the afternoon?

yourusername you know i can read????

alexandrasaintmleux surprisingly, she woke up just a bit after 12

yourusername i'm literally right here

friend1 well that's an improvement!

yourusername guys??

alexandrasaintmleux it is!

yourusername fuck it i hate you

alexandrasaintmleux the problem is you don't

yourusername FINALLY

yourusername and i don't that's true 😔

username13 the prettiest! Liked by creator

username14 man i wish i was alex

francisca.cgomes how was date night??

alexandrasaintmleux soo beautiful

francisca.cgomes make sure to tell me about everything

francisca.cgomes you too yourusername !

yourusername will do, kika, will do

francisca.cgomes i can't wait for you two to go public so i can post all the cute pictures i have

alexandrasaintmleux i don't think that will be soon

francisca.cgomes you never know, maybe y/n will start making out with you in the paddock after getting sick of the people staring at you

yourusername ...

yourusername okay i won't go THAT far but i might kiss her just a tiny bit

alexandrasaintmleux mon ange....

yourusername love youuu

alexandrasaintmleux love you too

charles_leclerc this account is private right?

alexandrasaintmleux yes! it's only for friends and people who know about us

yourusername don't worry charlie we made sure nothing could go wrong

charles_leclerc just wanted to make sure my little sister and sister-in-law are safe and comfortable

yourusername awwww my heart 🥹

alexandrasaintmleux thank you charles! we appreciate it 🫶

yourusername how can someone be so gorgeous and beautiful and pretty and stunning and ethreal and breathtaking and lovely and elegant and radiant and exquisite and graceful and divine and hot and angelic and delicate and enchanting and serene and mesmirizing and captivating and eye catching and jaw dropping and show stopping???

alexandrasaintmleux by using some of your beauty

yourusername MY beauty? comapred to me you're an angel who graced this earth to fill my life with love and heavenly moments

alexandrasaintmleux have i ever told you how much i love you?

yourusername why don't you show me instead?

alexandrasaintmleux coming to the bedroom right now

francisca.cgomes why cant pierregasly be like this?

pierregasly i can't keep with y/n she's more down bad every day i see her

iamrebeccad if carlos was like this i wouldn't be hanging out with y/n and alex as much

francisca.cgomes same with me

carlossainz55 ???

pierregasly ???

yourusername pierre and carlos can fuck off this is a GIRL only place

charles_leclerc and me?

yourusername you too

charles_leclerc this is what i get for being a loving brother and pretending to date your girlfriend so the media doesn't pry on your life and harass you two

yourusername the phrasing is making me sound like an ungrateful brat

charles_leclerc because you are?

yourusername i'm telling maman we'll see if she likes this

charles_leclerc ...

yourusername go get a girlfriend buddy we need more girls for our hangouts

charles_leclerc what have i done to deserve this?

yourusername you crashed niki lauda's ferrari

charles_leclerc DON'T go there

charles_leclerc it was break failure and you know it

yourusername sure, charlie, sure

alexandrasaintmleux y/n please leave charles alone he might cry

yourusername of course mia bella ragazza 🤍

charles_leclerc alex????

yourusername fuck off

charles_leclerc sigh

yourusername

liked by alexandrasaintmleux, charles_leclerc, arthur_leclerc and 852K others

yourusername out with mia bella ragazza 🤍

click to view all comments

username15 EH?????

username16 at least its not a man guys

username17 EXACTLY

username18 Y/N SOFT LAUNCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

username19 im never shutting about this for like another 6 weeks

username20 MY WIFEE IS NOT SINGLE????

username21 stop why is alex in the reflection of the second pic

username22 dont fuel my expectations

username23 MEOW

username24 y/n pls check your dms

username25 bros tryna rizz THE y/n leclerc

username26 the audcaity to say this in a soft launch post HELP

username27 i need to know who shes posting about

username28 oh to be in a relationship with her

alexandrasaintmleux gorgeous gorgeous girl

yourusername its all you bella

alexandrasaintmleux you flatter me

yourusername its not flattery if its true

alexandrasaintmleux im blushing right now stop

yourusername anything for you bella 🫶

username29 lowkey why do they sound like theyre flirting???

username30 i have a theory that theyre dating but covering it by 'dating' other ppl

charles_leclerc looking beautiful

yourusername thank you charlie 🤍

alexandrasaintmleux she always looks beautiful!

username31 ALEX!?!??!?!

username32 MISS.

username33 not alex flirting with her boyfriend's sister INFRONT of him

username34 who ever shes dating is living the dream lifeee

username35 she better hard launch soon or im suing

username36 sigh i wish i was her

username37 call me delusional but shes dating lando

username38 noo i see it

username39 WAIT STOP THATS??

username40 y/n literally wrote MIA BELLA RAGAZZA WHICH IS ITALIAN FOR MY BEAUTIFUL GIRLLLLL

username37 jeez calm down

username41 MOTHERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

username42 woah

username43 can she like marry me idk

username44 can't wait to see her in the paddock again omggg

username45 STOP alex uploaded a story where she was in a restaurant too

username46 theres a lot of similar restaurants in monaco its probably her with charles

username47 sigh i want to be as pretty as her

username48 STUNNING.

username49 ate up everyone frrrr

username50 ALEX BAG HER UPPPP

username51 she better before we do

username52 frr omg

username53 the leclerc sibling fight over alex

username54 when i sleep i see her in my dreams

username55 MY GOOOD IM COMBUSTIG SHES GORGEOUSSSSSSSSSS

username56 mothered up so hard the earth cracked

username57 shes my kind of woman

username58 id let her hit me with charles' car

username59 real

username60 queen

f1_wags_exposed

liked by wag_gossip, f1spilled, username61 and 142K others

f1_wags_exposed a recent tweet went viral because of a picture containing CHARLES LECLERC'S girlfriend, ALEXANDRA SAINT MLEUX, kissing his younger sister Y/N LECLERC at Jimmy'z Monte Carlo following Leclerc's Monaco Grand Prix win Tagged: yourusername, alexandrasaintmleux, charles_leclerc

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username61 how to kms no borax no glue

username62 oh!

username63 they haven't commented on this yet???

username64 why should they do

username65 it'll only fuel the rumors

username66 so will staying quiet

username67 WHAR?????????????????

username68 tagging them is BRUTAL

username69 wrong timing but face card never declined for all three of them

username70 and never will

username71 this was NOT on my 2024 bingo card

username72 if i had a penny for every time a leclerc got with alexandra id have 2 pennies which isnt a lot but its weird that it happened twice

username73 y/n x alex we need it

username74 the otp fr

username75 HELL YES LETS GO WE GOT YURI

username76 WHERE ARE THEYYYYYY I NEED THEM TO SPEAK ABT THISS

username77 was full on expecting y/n to comment on this

username78 ME TOO like her ass would say 'girl what' or sum

username79 FRRR

username80 aww y/n looks so cute

username81 deleting all my socials after this

username82 they are SOULMATES vro

username83 this screams 'summer love triangle teenage drama series'

username84 OKAY BRO BYE IM LEAVING THIS EARTH THATS SO TRUE

username85 legit the summer i turned pretty (i didnt watch it)

username86 AND the kissing booth (didnt watch this either)

username87 this is fake i REFUSe to believe this

username88 i am JEALOUS, ENVIOUS, GREEN. WHY CANT THIS HAPPEN TO ME

username89 hottest love triangle i cant

username90 they ARE the main characters

username91 FRR like everyone else is just a side character

username92 gang if its a love triangle then theres incest

username93 this is the kind of romance ppl write books about

username94 STOP NOT THEM GOING RADIO SILENCE HELP ME

username95 if charles and alex break up then its true

username96 no bc i feel like im intruding on them rn

username97 THEYRE GORGEOUS

username98 shes everything and hes just ken

username99 idk who this is talking abt but its true for both y/n and alex

username100 charles could do so much better ew

username101 my QUEENS

username102 ok so like when do they hard launch

username103 if this turns out to be fake i will rage SO HARD

username104 i have a solution that alex and y/n get together and charles does whatever idk

username105 I DIED???

username106 i need them to go poly

username107 y/n and charles are siblings......

username108 I REMEMBER WHEN SOMETHING LIKE THIS HAPPENED LIKE IN AUS BC Y/N WAS SITTING ON ALEX'S LAP

username109 HELP WHAT???

username110 HOW DID I MISS THIS LORE???

username111 y/n made a story of her sitting on alex's lap again and was like 'and i'd do it a thousand times' then deleted it after like 2 minutes but it went viral LMFAO

username112 THIS IS SO RANDOM????

username113 leclerc-saint mleux lore goes DEEP

username114 man this shit is crazy

username115 idc whoever gets with who bc they will legit be the most gorgeous couple no matter what

username116 ALEX THE BEST WAGGGGG

username117 oh i am itching for y/n and alex hard launching with grand prix apperances

username118 when i opened insta i wasnt expecting THIS

username119 i-???? wtf do i even say

username120 i am SPEECHLESS

yourusername

liked by alexandrasaintmleux, charles_leclerc, arthur_leclerc and 852K others

yourusername chivalry is dead so i got me a girl. mia bella ragazza, ti amo tanto 🤍🤍 Tagged: alexandrasaintmleux

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alexandrasaintmleux je t'aime tellement, mon ange 🤍

yourusername 🤍🤍🤍

alexandrasaintmleux 🫶

username121 STOPP MY HEART CANT TAKE THIS

username122 this has me sobbing and i dont even know them

username123 WHAR?????????????????

username124 idk if i expected this or not

username125 honestly same

username126 WHAT THE SHIT

username127 werent alex and charles out on a date yesterday?????

username128 MY GYATTTTTT

username129 ????

username130 sTOP

username131 im deceased

username132 GIRL WHAT???? IM SP CONFUSED RN WHATTTT

username133 LETS GO us girlies won

username134 gang go check out the y/n and alex update accs they uploaded the whole saga wtf

username135 the most gorgeous gyals

username136 if i was charles id die like my sister dating my gf????

username137 alex was winning both ways

username138 PLEASEEEEE

username139 ICONIC.

username140 IUHGBSN????????????

username141 i dont believe in love

username142 FACE CARD IS LETHAL

username143 WHAT DID I MISS????

username144 SOBBING i love them sm

username145 if glazing them every single second was a crime id be 89 feet under

username146 GOD HAS FAVOURITES !!!

username147 THE SHIT????

username148 counting down the days tilll we get y/nalex appearance in the paddock

username149 the people's princess'

username150 STOP i just realised that y/n speaks to alex in italian bc alex is italian (by nationality) and alex speaks french to y/n bc y/n is monagesque (french speaking country)

username151 the aura from them is DIABOLICAL

username152 THATS SO....?? WTF IM IN LOVE

username153 i NEED a relationship like this

username154 OMG THATS SO ROMANTIC KILL ME

username155 i died

username156 GET THESE GIRLS THOSE RINGS NOWWWWWW

username157 they need to get married ASAP

alexandrasaintmleux i love you so so so so much

yourusername forever and always

alexandrasaintmleux until the end

yourusername 🫶🫶

alexandrasaintmleux 🤍🤍🤍🤍

charles_leclerc my favourite sister and her girlfriend

alexandrasaintmleux thank you charles!

yourusername i'm your only sister

alexandrasaintmleux ange...

yourusername what i'm just saying the truth

alexandrasaintmleux i love you more than anything in this entire universe my angel

yourusername i love you more than you'd ever know, pretty girl

arthur_leclerc GET A ROOM

lorenzotl arthur be nice

arthur_leclerc i'm not 5

yourusername then act like it

charles_leclerc guys stop fighting

yourusername HE STARTED IT

arthur_leclerc NO???

yourusername YES???

alexandrasaintmleux now we have to wait while they sort it out

charles_leclerc which could take decades

lorenzotl seems like it

username158 FUCKING FUCK OFF

username159 ok thats it im jumpiing off a cliff

username160 ive never seen something more funny and its in a fucking instagram comment section

username161 im actually crying

username162 i love them so much i hope nothing ever happens to them

username163 my heart is paining i cant take this anymore

username164 i need to know what charles feels about y/n dating his gf

yourusername he never dated her i was dating her it was all a pr stunt so we dont get attacked by homophobes

alexandrasaintmleux this worked out better than we thought

yourusername yeah i didnt think we'd get so much love

charles_leclerc you deserve it all

yourusername thank you charlie 🫶 love youuu

charles_leclerc love you too petit lapin

username165 no i refuse bye i cant

username166 PETIT LAPIN IS SO CUTE STOP ITTTTT

username167 the a in alexandra saint mleux starts for a lovesick fool for y/n

username168 THE WAY THEY STARE AT EACH OTHERRR>>>>>

username169 how i wish for love like this

username170 greatest love story frrr

alexandrasaintmleux has made their account public & posted three new stories !

caption 1: cherry red🍒 // caption 2: y/n holding leo!! // caption 3: 🤍🤍🤍

taglist . . . @barcapix ,, @f1lover55 ,, @ilovebarcaaaa ,, @httpsdana ,, @paucubarsisimp ,, @justaf1girl ,, @awritingtree ,, @freyathehuntress ,, @chilling-seavey ,, @iamred-iamyellow (lmk if you want to join the taglist!)

[godmadeaterribleerror]

It's Been Calling Me

Main Masterlist

Read on A03!

Tags: Bucky Barnes/Female Reader, light angst, shameless smut (oral f receiving, p in v sex), fluff, soulmates, dreams, told over many years, no use of y/n

Summary/Warnings: You've had these… dreams. Strange, realistic, detailed dreams of the same man, almost your whole life. But they're just dreams. You've been so sure, for so long, that they're just dreams.

So sure, until you're not.

Author's Note: I love this one. I love using fake Marvel science logic. I love putting sad men in situations where they can't escape love. I love semi-linear storytelling. Enjoy!

Word Count: 10.9k

“I get… dreams.” You mumble, staring at an odd point over Dr. Raynor’s head. It’s always better than looking her in the eyes. “They’re weird.”

“The very nature of dreams is to be strange.” You can see the shrug of Raynor’s shoulders, hear the neural expression that must be on her face. “Although if you feel they’re worthy of note-“

“They are.” 

Raynor hums. She’s probably raising her brows. You still won’t look.

“You sound quite certain of that.”

“I am.” You tuck your knees up to your chest, frowning at the air. “It’s- They’re not new.”

“Ah.” Raynor pauses, then says your name. In the gentle but firm therapist way that you really hate. It makes you feel like a child. “This conversation may be easier if you would look at me.”

“No thanks, I’m-“

She says your name again. A little harsher. “We’ve discussed this. You’re here of your own volition-“

“That’s not true.” You mutter. “Court-ordered isn’t volition.”

“Well you could’ve chosen the inpatient ward.” Raynor’s shrugging again. “Look at me.”

You let out a long breath, and meet her gaze. You’d been right. She was raising her brows.

“Good work.” She gives you a tight-lipped smile and small nod of approval. “Tell me about these dreams.”

It takes a minute to find the words. Not because you don’t have them, but because you’d never expected to use them. You’ve rehearsed them in the mirror a million times, but they always sounded insane, and you didn’t need another reason to be called crazy.

“I’ve had them my whole life.” It’s easiest to start there. “But it’s- they’ve changed. Over time.”

“Changed how?”

“It’s hard to explain-“

“Try.”

You scowl. “I am trying, Christina, but there’s kind of a lot to say-“

Raynor sighs, giving you the patented look of disapproval that you might hate more than how she says your name. “How about telling me when they started. Is that do-able?”

It takes a long, deep breath, but you nod. “I was- I think I was ten. I fell asleep, and it was the first dream I’d ever had. The first one that I remembered when I woke up. It was…” You swallow, and there’s a sting in your nails as you rip more skin away. “Really vivid.”

——

This isn’t your body. It’s too big, too tall, and you’re not nearly strong enough to rip a door off its hinges. This body is sprinting across ice without ever breaking pace or falling flat with a crunch. You can’t even walk up stairs without tripping over thin air.

But this doesn’t really feel like a body at all. It feels like a shell, or tool. Hollow and pressed down, moving so mechanically you’d think it was a machine if you couldn’t hear its heartbeat in your ears. There’s a lot of pain in it. Strangely numb pain, as if the owner of this body doesn’t allow himself to dwell on it, shuttering it off to the side as he moves.

You’re pretty sure it's a he. There’s hair in your eyes, but men can have long hair, and when the body’s arms swing into view they’re big and muscular. You’re also pretty sure there’s something between your legs that wasn’t there when you went to sleep.

And you can feel him. Very, very deep in your head, he’s bellowing and scraping at his own scalp. He feels like a caged animal, but this is his body. He’s roaring things that are more like feral sounds than actual words, and every time he gets loud enough for you to make out a real voice something clamps down on your skull—his skull—and it all goes quiet.

You can see another man in your line of vision. He’s on his knees, trembling and begging, but the noise is muffled and static. As if there’s a filter pushing anything coherent out of your head.

A gloved fist that’s attached to your body—but not yours to control—reaches out and grabs the man by his throat. It squeezes. 

He’s desperate. Locked down and furious, the ‘he’ who you’re possessing is almost pleading with himself to stop. 

But he doesn’t. 

And there’s a sickening snap that will echo in your ears for a long time after you wake up.

——

Raynor’s looking at you like you’re insane. You don’t love it.

“Did you…” She pauses, scanning over you with a small frown. “Did you see the hand?”

You blink at her. “Yeah, I just said-“

“Without the glove.” She clarifies. “The one that snapped the man’s neck. Did you ever see it without the glove.”

It’s an oddly specific question. And she seems to be looking for a certain answer, because in all your time of working with Raynor she’s never looked so obviously invested in a story. 

“Not for a while.” You keep your words slow, watching her wearily. “He always wore the gloves. And when he didn’t, he wouldn’t look at his hands-“

Raynor frowns. “So how did you know he wasn’t wearing the gloves?” 

“Because he knew.” You shrug. “I lived in his brain like, every night.”

“Every-“

“Night, yeah. That’s what I fucking said.”

Raynor hums, and you think she’s going to grab the notebook to write something along the lines of patient has lost her goddamn mind, but she just keeps staring at you. “You said you didn’t see the hand for a while. When did you see it?”

“When I was sixteen. The first time the dreams changed.”

“Changed from-“

“Being in his head.” You pull your lip between your teeth, weighing how much you want to reveal. Too much feels like a violation of his privacy, even if they’re your dreams. He’s a private guy, it took you years to get him to tell you anything, and if you’ve realized turns out to be the truth, you don’t want to ruin anything. “It’s- it was about six years of seeing everything through his eyes-“

“Everything?”

You wish Raynor would stop saying the word every like that. Like it’s a lie.

“All the murders.” You mutter. “There were a lot of murders.”

Raynor nods for you to continue, and you have to take a long, steadying breath.

“One night I went to sleep and he was… attacking some blond guy. We couldn’t really see his face. Then I fell asleep the next night, and it was different.”

——

You can see him. You’ve never seen him before. 

He’d never looked in a mirror, or described himself in his head for you like he’s a Wattpad character. He’s only ever been a body that moves out of your will, and a pained voice deep in your brain that didn’t seemed thrilled with what was happening either. 

But you’re not in his head, or his body. You’re standing in a bathroom—in your own body, wearing the same clothing you’d been wearing when you’d crawled into bed—and looking at him. 

He’s a lot more attractive than you’d anticipated. And you’d anticipated attractive. You’d built an image in your head of your imaginary dream assassin, basing it purely on a level of hotness that would justify all the murders he’d been up to. It had been a little fucked up, but you’d also been so goddamn sure he wasn’t real. That this was just a really odd and worrying coping mechanism for all the messed up shit in your real life. 

But he seems pretty fucking real right now. And almost impossibly handsome. Strong features that look like they’d been carved from marble, an almost hulking frame that’s somehow bigger when you’re looking at it from outside, and tangled, greasy hair that’s really working with the whole tortured expression on his face.

Because he does not look okay.

He’s gripping the sink and glowering at himself, scanning over his own face like he recognizes it less than you do. He’s bent like there’s a weight on his shoulders he doesn’t know how to shake off, and that’s impressive, because you’ve seen him pick up a car. 

The porcelain of the sink cracks, and he flinches back, looking between his hands and the rubble with wide eyes.

His eyes are blue. A really pretty blue. You’d always thought blue eyes were overrated—big whoop, you’re more sensitive to light—but there’s something silver in this man’s eyes that you really love. It feels like a deep storm you’d like to chase.

He’s really pretty. 

He doesn’t seem like the type of guy who would like being called pretty, but he is. In a natural and powerful way. Like something heavenly that’s burned through the atmosphere in a dreadful fall.

Pretty face, pretty eyes, pretty hands-

Metal hand. 

One metal hand.

——

Raynor looks worried now. You wish she’d go back to thinking you’re just batshit crazy. 

“Do you-” she clears her throat, sitting a little taller in her chair. “His name. Did you ever learn his name?”

It’s your turn to raise your brows. “Does that matter?”

“Yes.”

It’s a flat, tense answer. It makes something coil in your throat. 

“I-“ You rub your own calves, soothing yourself in the careful way you’ve always practiced. “I didn’t, for a while-“

Raynor says your name, her tone short and clipped. “Stop telling me something didn’t happen for a while. If I ask a question, it’s because I need to know the answer. Not the buildup.”

You frown. “Need to know?”

“It’s…” Raynor sighs. “It is very important that you give me a name.”

“Why?”

“Therapist reasons.”

You give her a flat look. “That’s not a real thing.”

“Yes, it is. Name.”

“If you need the name,” you say, raising your chin slightly. “You have to sit through my for a while.”

Raynor gives you a look of disbelief, shaking her head and muttering something that sounds like God, I can’t take two of them, before raising her voice. “Fine. What was for a while.”

“I couldn’t talk to him.” You explain. “For like, two years after I got out of his brain, he still couldn’t see me. When I tried to talk to him it was like I was in a- sort of a one-way mirror? And it’s not like he was just walking around telling the air I’m Bucky-“

“Bucky?” Raynor looks downright distressed. “His name was-“

“It’s Bucky.” 

He still is. He’s not a was, Bucky is.

That’s part of the problem.

“And how-“ Raynor swallows. “How did you learn this?”

“He told me.”

——

This is new. You’re not on a street or in a half-empty apartment—the two places you’ve grown most accustomed to seeing in your sleep—but in a field. A very big field with huts and brush and goats.

There are a truly staggering amount of goats.

And there he is. His hair isn’t greasy and unkempt anymore, but looks almost soft, pulled back in a half-up half-down situation that makes him look clean. His metal arm is gone, but he doesn’t seem that bothered by it. He’s standing taller than before, like the weight you’ve grown used to seeing finally has begun to lift.

His outfit is new too. It looks like something traditional and well-made, rather than the off-brand baseball hats—you too are a big fan of the American baseball team, the ‘Doggers’—and shitty polyester t-shirts.

You’re taking him and scenery in, trying to place where your brain could’ve possibly taken you this time, when he does something you’d never expected.

He turns and looks at you.

Not through you. Not around you. Not in your general direction.

At you.

He can fucking see you.

“Hello?”

You’ve heard him speak before, a few times. His voice has always been low and gruff and heavy.

It’s smooth and richer now. You don’t know if that’s because it’s directed at you—setting off small sparks over your ribs—or in relation to that vanished weight, but you like it. It suits him better.

“Hi.” You whisper, your body frozen in place as he moves forward.

He’s right in front of you. Staring at you. 

He’s always gotten prettier every time you’ve seen him. This is different.

This is knocking the air out of your lungs with just the sight of him, because there’s a light in his eyes you’ve never seen before, and it makes something deep inside of you glow.

“I’m, uh, I’m Bucky.” 

He holds out his hand, and you tilt your head at him.

“That’s a weird name.”

He blinks at you, his hand still frozen in the air. “I guess, yeah. Never thought about it. It’s just a nickname.”

“Oh.” That makes more sense. “Sorry. That’s- I just never thought you as- never mind.” 

Bucky frowns at you, opening his mouth—likely ask you what you mean by that—but you say your name and shake his hand because he gets the chance.

He has a nice hand. It warm, and calloused, and fits really well in yours. 

“Why can you see me?” You blurt, and there goes any pretense of containing the truth. 

Bucky frowns at you. “Should I… Not be able to see you?”

“You’ve never seen me before.”

“Before? What do you mean-“

“It’s- It’s weird. And complicated.”

He just stares at you, waiting for you to continue. 

You’re holding his gaze. You’ve never held anyone’s gaze before. 

It’s kind of electrifying.

“I’ve dreamt about you before.” You mumble. “And you’ve never seen me.”

“About me?”

He doesn’t sound like he believes you. You get that. It’s not really a reasonable or believable statement.

“Yeah. But you had two arms. And there weren’t goats.”

Bucky nods slowly, and seems to reach a conclusion in his brain that you don’t get to be privy to. 

It’s enough for him though. Because he gives you a small, almost nervous and apologetic smile. 

“Do you wanna, uh, do you wanna meet the goats?”

You blink at him. You’d expected more questions, or some doubt. But he’s just looking at you, something in his pretty blue eyes almost hopeful.

“Are they...” You trail off, glancing at the goats over his shoulder. “Your goats?”

“They’re community goats.” He shrugs. “But Shuri says connection with life will help my recovery, and I don’t really want to connect with people.” His voice lowers, and it sounds like he’s mostly talking to himself. “They don’t really like connecting with me.”

You don’t know who the fuck Shuri is, but you nod anyway. “So goats?”

He gives you another odd look, like he’d expected you to say something else. 

“Yeah. Goats.” 

“Did you name them?”

He frowns. “They’re goats. They don’t need names.”

You click your tongue, shaking your head. “Wrong. Everything needs a name. I named my car, and my phone.”

“You named your phone?”

“Yep.” You grin at him, and it’s a wide, teasing grin you haven’t given anyone in years. “Bertha.”

“That’s…” Bucky’s still staring at you–he seems to do that a lot—but there’s something like amusement in his eyes. “Bertha is not a good name.”

“Better than Bucky.”

He chuckles at that, and it’s a beautiful sound. Deep and heavy, like a bass drum in your chest.

It’s the sort of thing that could be addicting, if you’re not careful. Worse, it’s the sort of thing you wouldn’t mind being addicted to.

“You’re kinda mean, doll.”

“Yep.” You shrug, ignoring how ‘doll’ makes you feel fuzzy in your gut. “And I’ll be meaner if you don’t let me name your goats.”

He hums, scanning you over with an intensity in his eyes that reminds you of that storm you’d see all those years ago in the bathroom. This time, you’d like to do a little more than chase it.

You think it could be really easy to get wrecked by it. 

“Will you come back if I let you name them?”

He keeps saying things you don’t expect. Of course you’ll come back. You don’t have a choice.

But you nod, crossing your arms over your chest.

“Only if you promise to actually use the names.”

He nods, giving you another smile. “Deal.”

———

“Did you ever learn his last name?”

You shake your head. “I never asked. He mentioned his real name was James at one point, but then I asked why he was called ‘Bucky’ and we got off topic.”

“One… point?” Raynor’s words are slow, and you’ve really never seen her looked lost like this before. You’d be proud of yourself if it wasn’t a bad sign. “Exactly how frequently did these dreams occur?”

———

“You’re back!”

Bucky looks genuinely happy to see you. He does every night. The same surprised joy in his voice, shock always written over his face like it’s truly odd and lovely to see you here.

Like you’re not here every night, for three to four hours, standing in his little hut and wandering the fields.

You’ve worked out that you’ve put him in Africa. Wakanda specifically, likely because you’d seen it all over the news and it seemed pretty interesting. Shuri was the princess, and the guy T’challa Bucky had mentioned a few times was the King. You’d almost certainly heard their names during all those UN conferences—the ones you put on in the background just to hear some noise that wasn’t ringing in your ears—and your brain had just decided to run with it.

At least, you think it’s just your brain. You’ve always assumed this was all in your brain, because this feels like the exact kind of fucked up shit your brain would pull. And Bucky never aged. He’d never really changed, for six years. He’d had just been another way to cope for the longest time, but now—as you actually get to know him—he seems dangerously like a real person.

He looks like he broods less than when you see him hunched over a toilet or glowering at his reflection in a window. His appearance has started to shift in a way it never really had.

The metal arm has permanently departed. He seems fond of keeping his hair out of eyes, and his wardrobe finally has diversity. He talks to you, and he has a personality. An adorable, grumpy, endearing personality that would play into your idea of ‘made up in your brain’ if he couldn’t be so annoying.

He stares. He grunts a lot. He doesn’t get any of your references. If you made up an imaginary dream man to feel more loved, he would like all the things you like and hate all the things you hate.

But he doesn’t.

And it always draws you in further, because he truly does seem like just a perfectly insufferable asshole. 

That’s cruel. He’d been right. You could be mean. 

He never seemed to mind.

And he’s more like a dog anyway. One that escaped the pound and follows you around, not even bothering to beg for scraps because you offer them with a grin.

You like his company. You like his voice. You like that he’s annoying and you like more that it’s your exact type of annoying.

You like that he’s really fucking hot, and get hotter every time you visit. 

You mostly just like him.

“Of course I’m back.” You shrug, kicking a rock with the tip of your foot, watching it bounce through the dirt. “I’m always back.”

“Yeah. So far.” You see Bucky shrug in your periphery, and when you look up, he’s staring again. “Could change.”

“Won’t change.” You counter, giving him a pointed look. “Sorry, Buck. You’re stuck here until I die.”

That’s the first time you’ve called him Buck. He tenses for a moment, seems to shake something physically off his body, and nods slowly.

“Should I be worried about you dying?”

“Not right now, no.” You hum. Another rock gets kicked. “Death doesn’t agree with me.”

He chuckles. “Don’t think it agrees with anyone, doll-“

“Shut up.” Third rock. This one hits a goat, and you cringe slightly. “Shit. Sorry, Bubble McBubbleface-“

“Bubs will be.” Bucky rolls his eyes, moving to your side. He’s standing really close. You can almost feel a phantom heat from his body. “And I still can’t believe you talked me into that name. I had to tell the king of the damn country that his goat was named Bubble McBubbleface.”

You giggle, and Bucky shoots you a glare.

“You think that’s funny? I had to like pretend it was my idea,” he grumbles your name, and you always like how he says it. Like it’s some sort of answer. “I had to look the council of elders in the eyes and tell them that Bubble McBubbleface got Lady Gaga pregnant-“

Your eyes widen. “You let the goats get pregnant?”

“Course I let them get pregnant, doll.”

“But-“

He gives you a dry, amused look. “Would you rather I interfere? You want me to cockblock Bubs?”

You blink at him. “You know what cockblock means?”

Your brain had given him the personality of an eighty-year-old man. You don’t know why, but you stopped asking questions like “why” and “what” a long time ago. You just know that he shouldn’t know what cockblock means, for consistency.  

“Of course I know what it means. You taught it to me.” He winks at you, and you’re pretty sure you’re flushing.

This is meant to be a dream. You shouldn’t be able to flush, or feel a little flutter and hum in your heart, or something molten in your gut when he leans a little further forward to grin down at you.

This seems less like a dream every night.

You’d be worried about that if you had the energy, or foresight, or care.

“Are goats births gross?” You ask, and he chuckles again. The sound has started to inflict a sort of high on your brain, and every color in this dreamworld seems brighter. 

“They’re fucking disgusting.” He leans a little further down. You have to stare at his nose to pretend the proximity isn’t going to make your fall over. “But if you let me show you one in here, I’ll let you name the babies out there.”

You nod kind of stupidly, the whole world shifts into a barn—goat births are disgusting, but Bucky gets a look of intense focus you’d like to see re-aimed in your direction—and four months later Bucky tells you little Oz The Great and Powerful, Donald Duck, and Pants McPantsface have been welcomed into the world.

———

“So you’d see him in… Wakanda.” Raynor takes another long breath. If you didn’t think it would make everything worse, you’d tell her to try some deep breathing exercises. “Did the location ever change? Did you witness any more of those murders from before?”

You feel something spark in your chest like an electric wire, and you sit a little taller. You haven’t seen Bucky kill anyone since you’d been trapped in his brain. He’s a good man. And, as far as Raynor knows, a figment of your imagination. She has no right to fucking imply-

“It’s important that I know,” she says slowly, and you think your oddly blinding and righteous anger had been painted all over your face. “So I better understand what’s been happening to you. Please,” she says your name, leaning somehow further forward in her seat. “Answer my questions.”

You nod, letting out a slow exhale. “No murders. But he did start coming into my brain.”

Raynor frowns at you. “Was he not always-“

“Not like this.”

———

“This is new.”

You whip around, taking a stumbling step back that would’ve landed you on the floor, had Bucky not looped his one arm around your waist.

“Hey, doll. Pleasure seeing you-“ He frowns, glancing around your apartment. “Where the hell am I?”

You don’t answer, only reaching up to touch his face. His beard is soft. His hair is softer. When you trace the line of his nose it does feel like a nose, and when you poke his cheek it seems pretty cheek-like- 

“What, uh,” Bucky say your name, scanning over your face with concern. “What’s happening here.”

“You’re not supposed to be here.” You whisper, poking his cheek again. Just to be sure. “You’ve never been here before.”

“Yeah, figured that one out myself-“

“No.” You shake your head, placing one hand on his chest. It fits well there, slotting right over muscle and warm skin. Every part of him seems to fit perfectly against you, and you’ve never been this close before, but you don’t have any urge to move away. “You don’t get it, Bucky. You’ve never been here. It’s been ten years, and you’ve never been here.”

“I know, doll. Doesn’t seem like there’s much to-“ He pauses, giving you an odd look. “Ten years?”

“Yeah.” You mumble. There’s not much else to say.

He just stares at you, and shakes his head slightly. “Huh. You gonna tell me where I am?”

“My apartment.”

“Your-“ He starts slightly, but you never shake in his arms. “You live in this place?”

You nod, and he pulls you to your feet, scanning over your home. 

The silence wraps around your heart and lungs, and the room is spinning slightly. You’re asleep. You’re pretty fucking sure you’re asleep. You locked the door, turned off the lights, and crawled into bed, so you’re asleep. Bucky’s never been here before, but he’s not really here because this is a dream and he’s not real.

You think. 

You wouldn’t bet on that anymore, though.

And nothing has ever been as important as Bucky liking your room, because the longer he just scans over the space around you the more your skin heats, the more your eyes blur, the more your throat constricts and your heart aches and pounds-

“It’s very… you.” He finally says, and every bit of nerve vanishes into the air.

He’s right. You’ve been very deliberate in making sure your home is yours.

And you’re not sure why you bothered worrying at all. He fits here, just as well as he fits in every other part of you.

“Can I get the grand tour?” He raises his brows, and you nod, leading him through your space, making jokes and feeling your heart do a little flip and spin whenever he chuckles.

And things always do change. Frequently out in the real world, and carefully and easily in here.

And at least with Bucky, the change seems adaptive. You grow, he grows with you, until you’re twined and rooted into each other, and every color in this dreamscape is so vivid it’s the only thing that still tells you:

None of this is real.

———

“It was split after that.” You say. ”Half the dreams in Wakanda, half in New York.” 

You’re watching Raynor carefully. Still on the edge of her seat, legs braced like she’s ready for a fight, a tight expression on her face that Bucky calls the moose in headlights expression.

———

“You got that moose expression again, doll.”

You frown at him. “Stop calling it that, it’s just my face-“

“No. Your normal face has a dimple here, and your brows rest like that.”

He’s touching you as he explains, moving your features to match his words. You’d smack his hand away if his touch wasn’t soothing and flaring all at once. If you didn’t really love the idea of him looking at you long enough to know exactly how to adjust your face, and how to be right about it.

“But it’s not like that now.” He finishes, giving you a pointed look. “You got moose-face.”

You wrinkle your nose at him. “Moose-face is worse, Bucky. And it’s still not a real thing-“

“Yeah it is. Most people got a moose face.” He shrugs. He’s staring again. It’s taking a lot of effort not to melt forward into him. “Tight expression. Like a deer in headlights, but they think they’re too good to be in the headlights. They’re gonna go down fighting.”

“Oh.” You tilt your head, giving him a sickly-sweet smile. “Can I see your moose face?”

“I don’t have a moose face-“

“Liar.” You poke his ribs, narrowing your eyes. “You said everyone has one-“

“I said ‘most people.’” Bucky shrugs. “Moose face means you’re gonna get hit, you just don’t believe it yet. I know how to not get hit.”

“Sounds like something someone with a moose-face would say.”

He chuckles. You’re sitting down, and you’re going to fall over. “No luck, doll. I got other faces, but no moose face.” He frowns at the air. “Never could afford to have one.”

There’s suddenly something heavier in his eyes, and it makes your whole body feel wired and heavy. It’s suffocating and crushing and rotten, and it’s just an expression but everything feels worse when you see it—when his shoulders hunch and his face becomes set like stone, just like all those years ago in the bathroom—so it needs to stop right now. 

“What about a wolf face?”

Bucky blinks at you. “What.”

“You said no moose face.” You cross your arms, raising your chin slightly. “Do you have a wolf face?”

“I don’t know what that is-“

“So suddenly you’re the only one who’s allowed to make up expressions?”

You hold is gaze for a long second—you’ve gotten really good at doing that, but only when you’re dreaming of Bucky—until his lips twitch slightly.

And everything feels alright again.

———

“How much of New York appeared in your… dreams? Was is like Wakanda, where you wandered?”

You frown at the air. Raynor’s indulging in this, but not like you’d hoped. Not shutting you down or telling you that you’re crazy. You’d really hoped to hear some validation that you were just plain crazy.

“Not really. I mean, there was one night where we were at my job, a few at the coffee shop I usually go to, and maybe like, five at the park, but we were mostly my apartment when I was showing him stuff.”

“And what did you-“ Raynor’s whole body tenses, and the last part of her question is pushed through her teeth. “What did you show Bucky?”

You flush, your gaze dropping down to your hands. “Stuff. In my apartment.”

———

You don’t know exactly what gives. What straw completely desolates every single bone in your body, and ends with you here.

Maybe it was that you’d finally mentioned all the murders, and you’d never seem him look horrified before, but the sight has dislodged something along your ribs that hadn’t mended until he let you move his head to your lap. Stroking his hair as he stared at you, telling him about your day.

Maybe it’s that you always tell him about your day. That this—whatever this is—has shifted from trading teasing comments and trying to learn about each other, into pure and comfortable understanding, and now that’s how most nights are spent.

Bucky’s reports are short. The goats are being goats—that’s all they know how to do—he doesn’t like a song someone tried to make him listen to because it’s too loud, and Shuri brought him some food that made his face feel like it was going to fall off, but in a good way. You pretty sure he only gives them because you insist upon it, but he always puffs out his chest a little at the end, when you smile at him and start to tell him everything you can remember about your own day.

Maybe it’s how he always hangs onto your every word. Like it’s gospel or scripture, and to do anything but listen and watch would be a higher sin than any blood you’ve imagined on his hands.

And maybe that’s it. 

Maybe it’s how you really don’t believe it anymore, when you remind yourself that he’s not real. That he’s just a figment of your mind, manifested to evolve as you do and always be exactly what you need. 

You still tell yourself the lie, night after night.

But you’re certain it’s a lie. That Bucky is just like that. Meant to be here, with you, the exact same way you’re supposed to be wherever he is.

And now you’re here.

You’d started it. You’d slammed your mouth to his, and he hadn’t moved. There had been a brief moment where you’d been worried you’d made a mistake, but the second you’d tried to push back on his chest and apologize, he’d kicked into gear. 

And wet dreams are supposed to be hazy. Cast in a misting light and more of a halo that brings your body high than an actual, nameable feeling.

But you can really feel this. 

And it’s heaven.

You’d expected Bucky to kiss slowly. Deliberately. It’s how you’d always seen him move and speak, and you hadn’t been against the idea of being kissed in a methodical and careful way.

You’ve never been happier to be wrong.

Bucky kisses you like you’re air and water and every good thing in the world. All passion and spit and burning desire, where you can feel every bit of want in his movements. His mouth is demanding as he traces his tongue over your teeth and groans your name down your throat, his arm snaking around your waist to hold you steady against his chest. When his knee presses between your thighs you have to wrap your arms around his neck for balance, and it’s all you can do to return ever bit of want he throws at you as he walks to backwards to your mattress.

It takes effort to pry your mouth from Bucky’s. He doesn’t want you to go, even a few inches, and when you start to palm him through his pants—smiling against his lips and squeezing his bulge in a silent request—he hisses against your lips.

“You-“ He groans, nipping at your lower lip as you smile, repeating the movement. “You don’t- Shit, doll, you don’t know what you’re doing to me-“

You hum, bumping your nose with his and swaying in his hold. “Maybe. I’d like to do more.”

Bucky chuckles, and the sound rolls right into your core. “Think you could take more, sweetheart? Cause I’ve been a gentleman, but if more is on the table-“

It’s easy to cut him off with a heavy, deep kiss that has him half growling down your throat and his hips jerking against your movements.

“Want more.” You whisper, combing your free hand through his hair and trying to pull yourself impossibly closer. “Want you.”

Bucky tenses against you, and when you lean back to meet his eyes he’s staring again. Looking at you like you’re glowing, kneading your skin under his hand like he’s checking that you’re not going to vanish. 

“You want me.” He mutters, scanning over your flushed face. “You sure about-“

“Yes.” You nod, giving him a small, soft smile. “Only if you do, obviou-“

Bucky cuts you off with another bruising kiss, and before you know what’s happening he’s lowering you onto the mattress, kneeling between your legs, and shoving your thighs apart with a wolf-like grin.

You don’t know when you ended up naked. You can’t really care though, because Bucky shoves his face right into your pussy, and your mind empties of all thoughts that aren’t his name. 

It’s another point in favor of this being a dream. Bucky’s mouth against your cunt feels so amazingly real—licking and biting and eating you out like he’s been starved for a hundred years—but this has to be a dream, because no real man has ever made you feel this good. He knows every single way the plunge his tongue in and out of your pussy until you’re squeezing your thighs around his head and tugging at his hair, and his beard scrapes and tickles at your thighs in a way that’s driving you out of your mind, and fuck, he keeps moving his attention to nip at your clit, sucking it between his lips and letting his teeth graze against you, and-

“Bucky-“ You moan, grinding shameless into his face, trying hopelessly to remain upright with one hand, your fingers fisted into the sheets below you. “Please- I’m gonna- Fuck, I’m so close-“

He growls against you, flatting his tongue against your clit and squeezing his hand on your thigh, and that does it. You cum with a scream of his name, warmth washing over your body as your knees clamp around him and your eyes roll back in your head.

He’s ruined you. All Bucky did was eat you out in a dream, and you’re panting and flushed and drunk on him. You don’t know how you’ll manage to move on from this in real life.

You don’t really care. Not as Bucky runs his hand over your dripping, fluttering cunt with a look of open awe on his face, presses a kiss right over your clit that makes your hips jerk, and moves to his feet.

He’s naked now too. 

And he’s perfect. 

His cock is big and thick, standing at proud attention and jerking slightly as you run a hand up his thighs, your fingers trailing over his balls and a little drool falling out of your lips as you lean to take him in your mouth-

Bucky’s hand tangles in your hair, pulling you back to meet his eyes.

He looks just as wrecked as you feel. Chest heaving and eyes blown with lust. You’re going to lose your mind.

“Bucky-“

“Not now.” He mutters, pulling you a little further back. “Need to be inside of you, doll. Please.”

You’d have to be insane to say no.

You crawl back on the mattress, spreading your legs in silence invitation, and something hot and powerful flashes in his eyes as he takes you in. 

“You-“

“I’m sure.” You squirm in the sheets, running your hand between your legs and starting to rub your clit in slow, strong circles. “God, I’m so fucking sure, please-“

He’s shockingly fast for such a large man. It might be the whole dream thing, but you barely register him moving to kneel over you, swatting your hand away with a darkened gaze a set jaw.

“I do that,” he grunts, running two fingers up and down your cunt, smirking at you high whine. “Legs open, doll, want to see how wet I’m making you.”

You nod, falling flat on your back, and pour all your focus into his order. “Fuck, Bucky-“ He shoves the fingers into your pussy, and your back arches off the bed. “Shit- I- Please-“

“You want my cock?” He drawls your name, and you can only nod dumbly at the ceiling. “Come on, tell me you want it-“

“Want it,” you gasp, hugging your body as he starts to pump his finger, crooking them at the exact right spot deep inside of you. “Fuck, Bucky, you said- You said you’d fuck me-“

He clicks his tongue. “I said I’d be inside of you-“

“But- But I want you to fuck me.” You start to roll your hips as his pace picks up. “Please, Bucky-“

You whine as his fingers vanish, leaving you clenching around only the air, but it’s a short-lived pain.

Bucky slams into you with one thrust, and you’d been wrong again.

He hadn’t ruined you. He’s destroyed you.

You’ve never been so full in your life. You’ve never been fucked like this in your life. With a fervor that should be painful, but just makes you feel wanted. Cared for. Bucky’s every thrust is brutal and rough, and his mouth on yours is that same feral kiss from before, but he’s pressed his body over yours like he’s trying to shield you from the world, and he’s groaning your name down your throat like it’s a hymn.

You’d say his name too, if you could remember how to speak. But Bucky’s hitting every right spot deep in your pussy, and you’re so high the world is just color and light and Bucky, and when he starts to suck and kiss a line down your throat, along your collarbone, and over your tits, you’re sure you’re going to fly out of your skin.

Then he takes your nipple into his mouth, and the sound you make is almost inhuman. Your release crashes over you like a wave, Bucky groans against your breast as you squeeze around his cock, and a burning warmth coats your thighs and cunt as he cums with a roar.

You make a small noise of content as Bucky pulls out, kissing a soft line back up your jaw before dropping his brow to yours and letting out a long, slow breath.

“That was…” He trails off, moving his hand to hold your hips, drawing firm patterns with his thumb that might drive you out of your mind.

“Yeah.” You whisper. “It was.”

He nods, and neither of you move for a really long time. Usually you’ve woken up by now, but no part of you is eager to go, eager to leave where there’s still a little buzz in your heart from the pleasure, where you can feel a perfect ache between your legs and you’re so happily trapped under the warmth of Bucky’s body-

Happy. 

You’re happy. 

This isn’t real, but under Bucky’s body you’re safe and warm and happy. And you don’t want to go. 

Almost as if he can read your mind, Bucky clears his throat.

“Thank you.” He mutters, his breath hot and soft over your ear. “Needed this.” There a long pause, and his hand squeezes on your hips. “Needed you. And I know it’s dumb to thank you, because-“

“It’s not.” You cut him off with a kiss to his neck, rubbing your hand up and down his back. “And I needed you too.”

He lets out a dry laugh that you don’t understand, but doesn’t push on it. Just kisses your brow and rolls onto his back, taking you with him and clinging to you like you’re a tether to something a little more important than just a dream.

And you really don’t know why he’d laughed. 

You do need him. You’re growing more and more certain every night that you need Bucky more than you need anything in real life. That he’s more than anyone else, and that he maybe, possibly, could be real.

He feels real, beneath you with a calloused hand squeezing at your skin and your finger tracing over the scars near his arm. 

He sounds real, when you finally ask why he only has one arm, and he takes a very long breath but mutters that he fell off a train. When he tells you that bad people found him, and he wasn’t really the best guy either, for a really long time. 

He tastes real when you kiss him for comfort, and smells real when you bury your face in his neck as he continues. 

You know he’s not telling you everything, but you also know he’s not lying. 

And you really do know that, in some strange and impossible way, this might be real.

———

“I see.” Raynor swallows, and she won’t stop staring at you. “Did those, ah, occurrences happen again?”

You nod, staring at your hands. “Pretty much every time after.” A smile tugs at your lips. “One time we used the barn.”

“I-“ Raynor sighs. “Understood. How long, exactly, did this continue?”

“They never stopped, not until-“ Your nails dig into your skin, and a heavy stone lodges itself in your throat. “The, uh, the blip.”

———

These have been the worst five years of your life. And they haven’t been amazing for anyone, but no one else has to feel this like you do.

And that’s selfish. A little narcissistic. Incredibly crude.

But it doesn’t make it any less true.

Because everyone lost people. Everyone watched loved ones vanish right in front of them, witnessed the world fall and crumble around them as half of humanity vanished, and got left in the rubble to pick up the pieces. 

But no one else seems to feel this. Nobody else seems to be falling apart at the seams from nothing at all like you are. Because Bucky was probably never real. But he’s gone. 

And you don’t know how to move on.

It’s odd to grieve a dream. It makes living impossible. You go to all the support groups and listen to everyone share their own pain, and it makes your heart ache for them but nothing in you ever seems to heal. It’s as if a piece of you had been ripped out and ground to ash, and mending over it would be blasphemous. You don’t want to fix it. You need to, because this is no way to exist, but it feels wrong every time you try. As if even your body can’t just admit he’s gone, and you need to keep going. But everything feels artificial. Every breath is mechanical, and every beat of your heart feels shallow and deliberate, like it’s only doing just enough to keep you alive.

What’s worse is that you can’t tell anyone why you’ve become a sunken, hollow shell. You’d sound insane. You’re already not winning any points in the sound of mind department, and you do have a record, so if you went to one of the countless therapists who have been making their living off of everyone’s loss and said ‘see, doctor, the person I loved only existed in my dreams, but he vanished with the snap and now it feels like I’ve been cleaved in half’, you’d be locked up in an asylum.

You hate that you’re only realizing it now. That the overwhelming sense of warmth and peace you felt in your dreams with Bucky was love. That you’d fallen in love with a piece of your own mind. You’d basically fallen in love with your reflection. Your annoying, handsome, grumpy reflection that you’d rip your spine out of your body to reshape it back into his form, to bring him back to your side.

And the dreams still happen. He’s just not there, and it’s the worst thing in the fucking universe. You keep coming back to a forest, and there’s a little ash that’s always drifting around in the air, that feels really important.

It all always feels like more than just Bucky being gone. It feels like you’ve missed a train, or taken a wrong turn, and lost a key that double as a compass, and now you’re stranded at the bottom of the ocean. 

Alone. 

You’ve spent your whole life with only yourself to rely on, but you’ve never felt more alone.

———

“And after the blip?”

“He came back.” You’re going to cry. You really hate crying in front of Raynor—she always tells you it’s going to be okay, and you fucking know that—but you can’t stop it. Because Bucky really did come back, and it’s still the best thing that ever happened to you.

———

During the past five years, your sleep has gotten fucked. You get about four hours a night, because that’s just long enough to keep you functional but too short to allow you to appear in the forest.

So it took a while to pass out. You’d curled up in your bed, drank tea, done yoga, followed every ‘how to fall asleep fast’ internet guide until your eyes drooped, and you were gone.

When the dream takes shape around you, you’re not in the forest, but in a sleek, hospital-like room that you don’t recognize. 

And he’s there. 

Bucky’s right fucking there.

You make a small, choked sound, and his eyes shoot to yours in an instant. 

He’s moving in a second. Half launching across the room to grab you before your knees give out, holding you to his chest as you cling to his shirt and press your face into his neck. 

“Hey,” he mutters your name, and you can hear the low horror in it. He’s putting together why you’re crying. Why you’re scratching at his neck and trying to half climb up his body. “You’re alright. It’s all good, doll, everything’s good now-“

You cut him off with a long, heavy kiss, and his hand moves to cup your head. 

He has two hands again. You don’t really care why.

Because Bucky’s rubbing circles on the skin of your waist, and letting you cry without making a big fucking deal about it, and nothing mended. Nothing’s ever mended. You’ve been a little fucking broken for a long time, with or without Bucky. But it had been a kind of broken that had folded and shaped with him, and when he’d been gone it was like half your organs had been frozen and crumbled in your body.

But he’s back. And you feel real again.

———

There’s a long silence in the air, and you know what’s coming. The question. You’ve known she’s going to ask it the whole time—you’d honestly expected it a lot sooner—and you’ve been prepared. You have a very long speech about how Bucky had changed again—short hair, kept the new arm, appearing in his own, mostly empty apartment and trading the Wakandan clothing for jeans and jackets—and that he’d told you how much he hated some guy named John. 

He’d said he despised the asshole. That he was everything Steve had hated—you’d had a pretty good idea who Steve was, based on context and a theory but you hadn’t be quite ready to it yet—and nothing sounded better than punching his lights out. 

And you’re ready to explain that you’d had the news on in the background, a few words had broken from static background noise, and your whole world had shifted. John Walker had been announced as the new Captain America, they’d run a stupid little fluff piece on the life of Steve Rogers, and there was Bucky. Captain America’s best friend and ally, the assumed cause of that whole the Avengers are breaking up thing, and the former Winter Solider. 

You’d mostly stared at the screen for a really long time as everything feel into place—you’d looked him up after, and it was a little embarrassing it had taken you this long given that he has a Wikipedia page—before calling Raynor, and preparing for the question.

But when she asks it, your mind goes blank, and all you can’t think to say is the truth.

“May I ask,” Raynor says carefully. ”Why are you only discussing this now?”

“Because he’s real.”

———

Bucky has dreams. Not nightmares.

Dreams.

He dreams about Her. She’s the only constant in his life, the only solace and purely good thing he knows, and She’s not even damn real.

Bucky’s pretty sure She’s not real. It wouldn’t make any sense for Her to be real. He’d spent most of the years assuming that She was simply a result of him being able to dream again, a trick of his mind that was both a comfort and a torture, because he needed those dreams—needed Her, in a strange way that lived in his chest and was soft on his skin—more than he’d ever needed anything, but they also reminded him of what he’d never have.

A life in a simple apartment, filled with his own presence in a way that was easy. He always loved that about Her apartment. How everywhere he looked, She was there. The colors and furniture and posters and trinkets on the shelves all screamed Her, and no one could ever replicate that if they tried. 

He didn’t know how to do that anywhere. How to just be him in a way that didn’t feel like something was strangling him. His apartment was barren. Every time he spoke it felt like he should be apologize immediately after, because barely anyone seemed to like him, let alone want to hear him.

Bucky understood that. He wasn’t exactly his own biggest fan, and the only time there was no part of him trying to escape his own body was when he was asleep, and She was at his side. 

He liked being himself with Her. It was simple, and natural, and never a labor. She never flinched away from him—She seemed to like being close to him—and Bucky never really wanted to wake up. Part of him always hoped that this time, when he fell asleep and She appeared once more, he’d wake up in Her apartment, and it would all be real.

A very small part of him needed this—needed Her—to be real. It would be really amazing if She was real. It wasn’t something he deserved to ask for, to plead with the universe about, but he did. He kept trying to come up with reasons She could be real.

She felt real, in his dreams. She spoke and acted like a person, and not a doll or shell his brain may have created to get him through his de-programming. She was always saying things and making references he didn’t get until she explained them, things he was certain he hadn’t heard in passing. She was way prettier than anyone Bucky had ever seen, which would contribute to Her being only a dream if he wasn’t so certain that he simply wasn’t that creative.

He could imagine a pretty girl.

He couldn’t imagine Her.

Smart and funny and gorgeous, fitting against him like She’d been molded to, teasing him in ways he’d never thought of and kind to him ways he couldn’t be kind to himself. 

She was never disgusted by the arm, and Bucky was sure that—if She was only a part of his mind given shape—she would know about the whole Winter Soldier thing. But he’d had to explain all he could to Her, and when he’d left certain, darker parts out She hadn’t said but that’s not the truth, is it, James.

She seemed to like Bucky. That was the most concrete proof he had that She had to somehow be real. Nobody liked him. Not in to raw, unrelenting way She did.

So She had to be real.

Bucky really hoped, against all odds, that she was real. 

It would fix a lot of problems if She was real. Sam kept trying to get him to date, and he didn’t want to. He always felt like he was betraying Her. It wasn’t sustainable or logical, but logic didn’t really matter here, because Bucky’s gut would wither and his hands would curl into fists every time he had to try and flirt with another woman. They didn’t fit against him as well as She did. Their teasing would either bite too hard or not bite at all, and the night would end with Bucky falling back into Her arms. 

He asked Shuri—very vaguely, he didn’t want his brain to be poked and prodded again—what reoccurring dreams could mean.

“Reoccurring?” She’d frowned at him over the video call. “You’ll have to clarify, reoccurring can mean many things.”

“Uh,” Bucky had swallowed, glancing at his mattress across the room. “A dream you have every night. And it could change, but it’s always the same person in it?”

Shuri had given him an odd look. “Have you been having a dream like that?”

“No.” His answer had been too fast. He needed to keep it together if he was going to sell this. “Sam has. He mentioned that he kept seeing some lady in his dreams, and she felt real but he’d never met her before. Thought I’d do him a favor and ask about it.”

It wasn’t the best lie he’d ever told, if Shuri look of doubt had been any indication. But she bit, and kept moving.

“Well, it looks as if Sam,” she’d given him a pointed look, and Bucky had forced his face to remain completely neutral. “Has found his soulmate.”

Bucky had stared at her for a really long time. His vision had blurred, there had been a ringing in his ears, and time had seemed to still as Shuri’s words sank in.

Soulmate.

“I thought, uh,” Bucky had cleared his throat, his voice a little hoarse. “Soulmates aren’t real-“

“Of course they’re real.” Shuri had shrugged. “Soulmate is an archaic term for two brains that emit the exact same neuroelectricity, their nerve paths aligning completely. Often they will have differing personalities and lives, but the tie of the biology will link them in sleep, and they will experience incredibly vivid lucid dreams. Like this video conference, but if our minds and bodies were built to fall in love with each other. It is rare, but not impossible.”

Bucky had frowned. “But I- uh, Sam said he’s only had these dreams about four years-“

“Sam’s brain underwent severe rewiring and torment.” Shuri’s voice had been dry, her expression flat. “He would do well to remember that his connection may have been slightly mauled, and only after a certain genius princess fixed him would he have been able to reciprocate the bond fully.”

Oh.

The first time Bucky had appeared in Her apartment, She had said ten years. When She’d appeared to him for the very first time, She’d said she’d dreamt of him before.

Bucky had assumed that had been another way his brain was comforting him. Telling him he could be the type of person a pretty girl like Her dreamed about.

But when he thought about it—clenched his jaw and drew up the heavier, blood-stained memories of the Soldier—there had sometimes been someone in his body with him. Not the Soldier, but the third presence that wasn’t hostile. Wasn’t really foreign. Just was. 

“Could the-“ Bucky had swallowed, watching Shuri carefully as he spoke. “Sam said he could sometimes feel the gal while he was awake. Is that a thing that could happen?”

“If Sam was not himself, and the soulmate was not of full maturity, yes.”

Bucky had felt himself pale. “What do you mean, full maturity-“

“You are a hundred years old, Mr. Barnes.” Shuri had raised her brows, and all pretense of Sam had dropped. “There would have naturally been a point where your soulmate was a child, as that is how most people begin their lives. It is likely that you were still under the control of Hydra in your soulmate’s youth, and she would have only been a growing presence in your mind until she was a full person, and you were no longer only the shell of a man I met after my father’s death.”

“So she- Would she have seen what I did? As the Solider?”

He knew She had. She’d told him She had.

Bucky still didn’t want it to be true.

Shuri had given him a sympathetic look. “Unfortunately, yes. She would have. But if she is what you say, she is a perfect match to you in every way. She will not care what you were before, under the control of Hydra.”

“But-“

“It is not something worth protesting, Bucky.” Shuri had sighed, leaning a little closer to the camera. “This is not something that can be severed or changed, so please do not bother to ask. And remember that she is real. Her own person, with her own pain. I would recommend you attempt to find her, but that is something you will have to decide for yourself.”

And now he was here. Staring at the dark screen where Shuri’s face had been moments before, his head still spinning around the word. 

Soulmate.

She’d made is sound scientific. Possible. Bucky could have a soulmate. 

He didn’t deserve a soulmate. Not one he’d likely trapped in his mind, forced to witness the brutal atrocities he’d committed as the Winter Solider.

And he wanted to find Her. Bucky wanted to touch Her and kiss her and keep her longer than just the night. To wake up and see Her next to him, tangible and all his. 

He’d liked the idea of something being his in a way that wasn’t a curse. In a way he could throw his all right back to Her, and she’d catch it. 

But there was still the sour, molding feeling over his heart that—since She was real, and probably had Her own issues to deal with—She wouldn’t want him in her life. Not Her real life, where everything was more complicate than just them in a literal dream.

He shouldn’t find Her. She’d be better off without him. Bucky would do nothing but make Her life more complicated, and he could get through this know that She was real and safe, far away from him but still haunting his dreams in the best way possible.

He was so lost in his head he misses the first phone call. And the second one.

It was the third one that got his attention—buzzing and ringing on the table next to his computer, Dr. Raynor flashing across the screen—and the fourth one he actually managed to pick up.

Bucky didn’t bother to hide the tension in his voice when he spoke. He really didn’t have the time or energy for this, not right now. “Doc, I’m not due back for another four days-“

“I’m aware, James, I keep a calendar.” Raynor sighed through the speaker, and Bucky had never heard her sound so tense. It was a little concerning. “However, I am going to have to request you come in today. It’s an emergency.”

He scowled. “What emergency, I haven’t done anything emergency worthy-“

“It’s not only about you.” Raynor snapped. “And I’m changing it from a request to an order. Office in twenty minutes.” There was a long pause, and then a whispered, “Please.”

That wasn’t good.

“Did I get in trouble?” Bucky asked, his grip on the phone tightening. “Cause I’ve been following all the stupid rules, and if Sam says I did something he’s just being a dramatic dick-“

Raynor sighed, and Bucky could picture the thin look of exhaustion on her face. “You are not in trouble, James. It’s not- I can’t explain over the phone. It may be better for you to see.”

“See what?”

“Just come to the fucking office.”

Bucky blinked, and the line went dead.

Raynor couldn’t make him go. But he also had never heard her swear like that. Or order him to come in before an appointment.

He was a little curious. And it wasn’t like he had anything else to do today but drown in the knowledge of what Shuri had told him, trying to work out how he’d face Her tonight.

So he went to the office. Chances are it was nothing. Bucky couldn’t imagine it would be something. He spent the whole ride trying to think of an idea, came up blank, and decided that Sam had mentioned something to Raynor about how Bucky had been brooding more than usual, and he was just going to have to explain the whole I’m not brooding, I’m just sick of Sam’s blind date bullshit and also maybe have a soulmate thing. Then he’s kick Sam’s ass, and everything would be fine.

Bucky entered to office with a whole speech ready. His chin raised high and his arms crossed, because he was already having a very weird and complex day, and he didn’t need this. 

All the words were knocked out of him the moment he opened the door, glanced around the room, and saw who was on the couch.

Her.

In person. 

Very, very real, and in Raynor’s office, and here.

Raynor said Her name. The name Bucky knew Her by, and her last name. 

It was a nice last name. Barnes would suit Her better, but the idea that she was real enough to have a last name was already bringing Bucky to his knees, so he’d have to save that thought for later.

“Meet James Barnes.” Raynor was probably looking between them. Bucky couldn’t be sure though, because he couldn’t stop staring at Her.

She was moving to Her feet, and seeing Her in person was somehow even better. She was sharper around the edges, and more colorful in small, bright ways, and nothing about Her felt like it could ever slip between Bucky’s fingers.

She wasn’t mist. She wasn’t an illusion, or a coping mechanism.

She was real.

Walking towards him with wide eyes and an open mouth, reaching a hand up to poke at his face. Tracing his nose and running fingers over his cheekbones, Her eyes never leaving his.

Bucky caught Her hand right as it brushed over his lips, and She made the prettiest gasp he’d ever heard.

“You’re real.” He said, because it was all he could think of. Nothing about this was a dream. Bucky would not have a dream where Raynor was watching him restrain himself from kissing Her until she collapsed in his arms.

“I’m real.” She whispered, and Her voice was better in real life too. “You’re here.”

He nodded. “I’m here.” He paused, scanning over Her open features. “Don’t think I’m going anywhere, doll.”

Her face split into a wide smile, all teeth and light and joy. For Bucky. 

There was adoration on Her face, and it was all for Bucky.

“Good.” Her smile grew, Her fingers tangling with his metal ones. “Because I’m not either.”

End Note: Save me Bucky Barnes raising goats. Bucky Barnes raising goats, save me.

If you like this story, please reblog, share, or leave a comment! <3

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[raina-at]

Maybe this is an unpopular opinion, but I think the series' decline started right out of the gate in The Empty Hearse.

I have a few reasons for this.

Not explaining how Sherlock fell is all well and good because it's true, it's really not that important. But the whole thing with Anderson and the conspiracy theorists felt like they were mocking fans' speculations and altogether left a bad taste in my mouth.

There's another, less charitable explanation for why they never explained how Sherlock faked his death, and it's that they actually don't know themselves, and frankly, with how little sense it actually makes if you think about it for two seconds, that seems a likely explanation.

If their goal was to 'fix' Sherlock and John's friendship, I honestly think they failed. What you see is Sherlock mocking John's grief, then being impatient that John isn't over it after ten seconds, and then manipulating him into saying he forgives Sherlock because he thinks they're about to die. Sherlock never honestly apologises, takes accountability, or wins back John's trust. The rest of the series suffers from the shortcuts taken here, because John never truly trusts Sherlock again. The relationship remains broken, it's just superficially fixed. Just because John says 'I forgive you' out loud doesn't mean he actually does.

The torture scene in the beginning is incredibly manipulative, because it sets up 'Oh poor Sherlock suffered so much and John is a bit meanie for not forgiving him right away'. But how would John have even known? It's never addressed in the series whether John ever learns why Sherlock jumped, and what happened to him while he was Away.

Lestrade and Mrs Hudson instantly forgiving Sherlock makes it seem like John is being unreasonable for being angry for longer. They get over Sherlock faking his death in an instant, why can't John?

TEH is the start of Sherlock and John's dynamic getting a bit toxic, honestly. Sherlock's disregard for John's feelings, John still going back to him even though he's still so angry, Sherlock's inability to leave John alone to process his emotions in his own time, Sherlock's lying and his manipulation, Sherlock as the martyr who suffers to save John, who's 'ungrateful' because he doesn't know and didn't ask for the sacrifices.... it's all there from TEH.

Tl,DR: I agree that fixing Sherlock and John's friendship is more important than learning how Sherlock faked his death. But not even trying to explain made me feel like the creators didn't know themselves and were mocking us for speculating. Also if they were trying to fix Sherlock and John's relaitonship, they FAILED. It's still broken. It remains broken.

“You can’t spend 90 minutes explaining how he did it. Everybody’s very excited about it now but I guarantee everybody will forget about it as soon as it’s done because for us [the episode] was about restoring the friendship between John and Sherlock.”

—

Mark Gatiss on The Empty Hearse (x)

…Watching with pleasure as the smart storyteller goes to the core of the business.

[arandomao3user]

"Jason was just a replacement for Dick." I have heard people say, "Bruce never loved him."

And, to an extent, I agree Jason was just a replacement for ROBIN, but not as a son, no, because Dick was Bruce's son and pride alright, he became his pride, the pride of Batman. But Jason did something Dick often failed to do, not from lack of TRYING but, because, it only lasted a week, maybe two before Bruce went back to that deep, dark hole he carved out for himself.

(Tim Drake: Pride Special)

Something I feel people can't possibly grasp, because maybe they can't relate or don't fully understand the significance or impact? The fact that it was the anniversary of the Wayne's deaths, Bruce's parents deaths that have haunted him for the majority of his life. He was in the cowl, he was BATMAN in the moment and it was his parents deaths, and in the same place he stayed, kneeling between the cooling corpses of his parents, knees drenched in their blood, he stayed there for possibly an hour or more. And yet, as Batman, in the cowl in the same place on the same night-- he laughed.

He laughed. Some punk, little bony street brat with a tire iron stole his tires, hit him with said tire iron, and called Batman a "big boob." and I believe Bruce was fond of Jason the moment he saw him.

Bruce and Dick were the dynamic dup, but there was also some small sense of obligation for Bruce to take Dick in. Bruce feared what Dick would've become, didn't want him to turn out like Bruce did. But with Jason? Oh, with Jason.

"Jason was the first thing Bruce allowed himself to want since his parents deaths." Is what my friend said when I was rambling to them about this, and it hit me how true it actually was.

Dick was Bruce's son, and he loved him, yet, but with Jason? BRUCE chose Jason, and he was the first Robin that Batman chose. Dick made himself Robin, Dick gave Robin to Tim and Damian, and I believe even with Stephanie it wasn't entire because Bruce WANTED her to be Robin.

Bruce, after seeing how Ma Gun's school wasn't what he thought it was, he made Jason Robin, took him home the same night (kidnapping is valid if you're Batman and he's up for grabs anyways--) and made him his SON.

He replaced Robin, but Jason was never a replacement as a son.

(Tim was the replacement as a son but we won't get into that today since that is more of my fanon over analysis of the characters--

so, yeah--)

Bruce adopted Jason about... Two weeks, I wanna say(?) after meeting him, taking him home, and I don't wanna say it was some sort of automatic attachment, but I believe Bruce saw the chance to make a proper family, and that's what he WANTED for Jason.

That's what he GAVE Jason.

I'm not digging for anymore panels, this isn't easy work for a post--

But my point stands, and even after Jason dies, Bruce wouldn't hesitate to come save him. Not out of guilt anymore, but because Jason has and always will be his son, not his favourite, because that'd make people mad if I say that (I read comics now, and even after, I still say that Jason is the favorite, but I won't make it a whole thing in this post--)

(Batman: Urban Legends #4)

Bruce, evidently, even with the violence and abuse he's shown Jason after Jason came back from the dead, has proven he'd come for him, that he won't ever give up on him.

Jason is rarely ever called his son in the comics anymore, he's rarely acknowledged to be Batman's son, and some may say "Well, that's because Jason doesn't see him as a Father." And I BEG you look at these comic panels and think that still. The words aren't said, maybe because it's to painful for Bruce to acknowledge he lost another family member, and for Jason? Hell, Bruce keeps punching him, we've all seen the panels, we've seen Dick's crash out.

Their relationship isn't perfect, Bruce has made so many mistakes, called Jason a failure, and Jason has certainly reciprocated those feelings a few times. Jason openly admits they were no dynamic duo, and says there wasn't trust between them-- something I disagree with. Entirely.

(Aaaand there's my image limit. Guess I won't show y'all the panel of Bruce holding Jason's corpse, thinking, "Did he hate me?" Because that was Bruce's thoughts after losing Jason. Guilt. And fear that Jason's final feelings for him were HATE.)

Can we also just... THIS PANEL!? HOW can anyone say "Well, Jason was just Dick's replacement--" then why was the worst fear the BATMAN can imagine, can conjure in his mind, losing Jason? Losing Jason was Bruce's greatest fear, something so terrifying to Bruce, to Batman.

Dick, Tim, Damian... They're all good Robin's (no Tim hate here, that's my boy) but Jason was a good son. In the movie, and comic, (Under The Red Hood) everyone agrees that Jason knew he was loved, he knew he was loved even as he grew older and began getting more reckless and violent-- things he wasn't as Robin, not for the majority of his run-- because he was a teenager who was beginning to go through stupid staged in his life where he could make mistakes. Unfortunately, he had all the supplies to make those mistakes fatal, and they proved to be...

But nobody replaced Dick as a son, something he was to Bruce, but things were to rocky, that first child syndrome hits hard and Bruce was young and so, so stupid with Dick... A good Father, but he wanted to be better with Jason, and maybe this is all to fanon territory, but I don't wanna hear a lick of "Bruce never loved Jason." Because Dick was Bruce's pride, but Jason was every last lick of joy in Bruce's body.

Jason was worth breaking his rules in Batman's eyes, briefly, but at a point he was worth it.

Jason, to Bruce, was worth dying for if he couldn't live in a world with him, Jason had Bruce crying for an hour once, after he was taken away from him during his Robin years.

Bruce loved Jason, because that was his son. Unfortunately, things got messed up, their relationship is messy now, yes, but that is still Bruce's son, and deep down, I think he knows that. It's something easier to admit than other times, and I forever hate the title of "Batman's Greatest Failure" because the only failure was not reaching Jason on time, Jason himself was no failure.

ANYWAYS, THANKS FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK :D

---

[takes1]

ur blog is so pretty...

if you are okay with it, do you have any headcanons bout what type or p0rn the Karasuno boys would watch? 🌹

what type of p*rn would the karasuno team watch?

warnings. heavy nsfw under the cut. minors DNI

characters. suga. daichi. asahi. tsukki. kageyama. hinata. nishinoya. tanaka. yamaguchi. details. lots of kink discussion - just about anything you can think of

links. my masterlist. my ao3. more haikyuu. my imagines. requests open.

suga९᠀ - likes a good storyline video. loves a bad one. shitty acting gets him laughing, and he needs every chance he can get to feel as though he isn't sinning. won't say no to an amateur flick, but he likes the structure of 4k videos, and is a suuuucker for the 'oiled up' aesthetic.

asahi९᠀ - buddy has a rampant size kink that doesn't get much of an outlet. downside: most videos that cater to this are not what he wants, because of the unavoidable infantilization in most of them. so he opts for amateur vids with bigger guys turning out their smaller girlfriends, wives; extra props if there's some real, organic dirty talk, or if it happens to be super low-quality.

daichi९᠀ - has no shame about his oral fixation. face fucking. deepthroat. he's got any video with some lucky dude getting good head memorized by the title and the preview. his favorites are either: when the guy stays hands-off and silent, or when she takes a load down her throat. not much in between.

tsukishima ९᠀ - is a filthy animal with a porn addiction. will watch/has watched just about everything under the sun. he had a bukkake faze, a gangbang faze, but is now proudly serving his bdsm faze with specific interest in femdoms. shiny, black heels get him hard in an instant. has done the tried-and-true bdsm questionnaire in his spare time and does heaps of research on the community, usually as a pregame to jerking off.

kageyama ९᠀ - no particular preferences. but if he's got a crush on somebody, he will strictly watch lookalikes. it wasn't a conscious habit at first, but after the third time it happened, he couldn't articulate any other reason to look up seven descriptors in the search bar and get 0 results. how well/quickly he gets off is based on how well the actor or subject looks his crush. it's a long endeavor, too. he edges for as long as he can, and almost always does it twice.

hinata ९᠀ - can't watch porn long enough to build any strong preferences. has sensitivity/premature ejaculation issues, so he tends to just listen to whatever video he landed on. this has opened more of a pipeline to nsfw audios, instead. loves the sound of two bodies coming together, especially all the little pants and huffs in a video that aren't faked. has gotten insanely good at being able to tell if it's fake, too.

nishinoya ९᠀ - doesn't watch videos; similar problem to hinata. instead, yuu buys physical hentai novels. big fan of monster-fucking. tentacle stuff is a staple in his readable porn. he guards his collection with his life and would sooner lose a limb than have anybody go near the shelf that he keeps them hidden behind. once, asahi stood too close during a sleepover and -naturally- yuu bit him as a distraction, just to get him away from the area.

tanaka ९᠀ - wlw videos. solo-girl vids. he can't stand to watch something with a guy in it. it's huge turn-off, especially when the dude is too loud, or in the way, too soft, or straight-up ugly. learned to love the slow, women-catered stuff that's 40 minutes long and has plot to follow. also picked up a lot of tongue tricks from these vids, too. (congrats, kiyoko!)

yamaguchi ९᠀ - mmf threesomes. i think ya'll know what i'm getting at, here. either he 1: is poly and doesn't know it, 2: is gay and doesn't know it, 3: is genuinely very enticed by the idea of overstimulating a gorgeous girl, OR 4: can't see himself as enough for a potential partner, and this might be a subconscious way of evading that insecurity.

notes. i'm very sorry to any who were looking for ennoshita, kinoshita, or narita. i tried, but genuinely couldn't get anything going for any of them. they all seem like nice guys, but there's no material that i can properly make nasty.

taglist. @integers @paradoxicalwritings @yuchacco

links. my masterlist. requests open.

[arc-misadventures]

Do We Have A Deal?

: I, Nora Valkyrie the Fey Witch of the Honey Mountains, I will give you the protective amulets you desire to defeat the, Death Drake.

Jaune: Thank you! This will help save thousands of lives, thank you!

Nora: However, there is a price that needs to be paid first.

Ren: I knew it... Fay's never do anything out of the goodness of their heart.

Jaune: Ren, this is a business transaction; She's giving us something we want, and we'll give her something she wants. So of course she's going to ask for something in return.

Ren: Damn you, and your merchant business smarts...

Jaune: Blame my sister if anyone. She's a goblin merchant, you think I didn't pick up a thing, or two from her?

Nora: A goblin? But, you're a human, and, yet your sister is a goblin?

Jaune: Half sister. Half human, half goblin.

Nora: Oh... Is your father a bard?

Jaune: No, he's a paladin.

Nora: A paladin?!

Jaune: Yeah, he's a devote of the Summer Maiden, the goddess of fertility. Just like me.

Nora: The Summer Maiden~?

Jaune: So, what's the price we must pay?

Nora: Hmmm...? The price is simple... Sire me an heir, and you may have your amulets.

Ren: What?!

Jaune: Hmmm... Okay.

Ren: Jaune you can't be serious?!

Jaune: What?

Ren: She wants you to knock someone up, and steal their child for their own, you can't possibly agree to those terms?!

Jaune: Ren... Ren, Ren, Ren, Ren... My dear friend... My brother from another mother... My dear... sexually repressed friend... She said, 'Sire me an heir.' She doesn't want me to knock up some random woman, and have them take their child, and give it to her. Nonono... That's not what she wants at all.

Ren: It's not?

Jaune: She wants me to knock her up.

Ren: What?! That's not true... I-Is it?!

Nora: Well... (Snap~!)

Nora: You tell me~?

Ren: What...?!

Jaune: Ren... look at me...

Ren: Y-Y-Yes...?

Jaune: Smash~!

Ren: NOOOOO!

///

As a reminder, only certain aspects of these stories are connected, not the over all love interests themselves.

[thatruerealmwalker]

probably not related, but like for me, I have a problem with well... I think the term is Lolicon?

Characters that are depicted as child like in appearance, mentality, and mannerisms, but then someone slaps on "Actually their 50" and then that makes it 100% okay for someone to date what many people would consider a child

I actually got in a fight with a friend because of it, and while I still feel bad for doing that to them, it's still just BLEH ya know?

I've been trying to tone it down a bit, even though I think this specific situation is really messy and kinda fucked, I've been told "As long as it doesn't hurt people, it's fine" which... I hope is true, but again it still feels bleh to me

And... I think that's why people are so up in arms about shipping. Morals. Well- not fully, but I think it plays a part. Like-

Oh! My friend, same one I talked about earlier, has told me that they can't see a character be different between different... representations? Basically, they will also see one character as *always* that character. Which... is bad, because when that character acts out of line from what they believe for that character... well I'm sure they get upset

And I can see that applying to others. Someone looks at a piece of media, sees two characters, thinks their close enough to be siblings, slots that in not as "Headcanon/This is something that I made up" but as "This is my read of the character, and that's final!"

So, when someone else ships those two characters, that person will look at it, and their morals will scream "INCEST ISN'T GOOOOOOD!" and then you get a freak out from them.

But, then again, this is only my view, and I'm sure other people have evidence and world views that also apply here.

It is an interesting topic to be sure though!

man i dont want to get all "fandom elder" on people because i think its cringe when people talk about the "good old days" of shipping culture and then ignore the rampant misogyny, queerphobia and racism in those communities but i gotta say: why are people so weird about shipping now?

Like there's really bizarre things i keep seeing younger/newer people in fandoms get upset over. like the obsession with only shipping canon couples. getting upset over crackships. viewing two characters as siblings (who arent considered siblings in the narrative) and getting mad when people ship them. If you get a relationship slightly off people will right a massive thesis statement about it flat out harass you over it. people have to put "not a ship" under platonic art because shippers will blow a fuse if they read it as slightly romantic. pick me queer people getting pissed off when people ship two characters of the same gender and accusing them of "not appreciating platonic relationships" (which by the way, funny to me that this is only thrown at m/m ships and never f/f ships).

Like shipping culture is supposed to be fun, what are we doing here.

[bluem1lls]

i need part 2 of se-mi with comphet reader 😭

✧₊⁺ speak now (or don't, and love forever in silence)

groom bff! se-mi x comphet! reader

synopsis: after years of waiting, he finally propose. wasn't this everything you wished for?

but you couldn't bring yourself to be happy.

was it maybe because when you thought about it, all you could picture was her face?

content: some angst, but finally fluff!!!!

authors note: im so sorry for the looooong ass late updates, im so so busy but im ab to go on break so everyone cheered!!! im back i promise:( im so excited for this part 2 i actually love it and i hope u do too!!!!

part one. part two (you're here!)

famous actress finally engaged with the famous choi su-bong, more known as 'thanos', old rapper surging back!

we all saw on Instagram the romantic proposal he prepped for her, and of course like every girl would, she said yes!

we are so happy for the married couple!

"fucking bullshit" se-mi threw her phone away with rage after reading the most liked post from the magazine's instagram.

her hands went to her face as she groaned, biting back her lip to keep the tears away.

poor dumb girl. she actually thought you were coming back to her...

"the way he proposed was so romantic, i'm glad he did it that way, it was what you always wanted ever since you were a kid" my best friend jun-hee took my hands between hers with a comforting smile. i smiled softly as i sighed.

"y-yeah. it was.." i whispered. she stares into my eyes, squeezing my hands. her expression fell, now filled with pity. she knew me more than anyone.

"you do know that you're supposed to be happy about getting married right?" she says with a lifted eyebrow as i pressed my lips.

"i am." i said, trying to convince myself.

"honey-" she murmurs as i cut her.

"i have to be." i said, turning to face myself in the mirror. streightening my skirt as i faked my best smile.

and it was true. everything was exactly how i always wanted it.

so.. why didn't it felt like it?

i heard a knock that snapped me out of my thoughts. we both turned as the door opened. "excuse me, just wanted to let you know the invitations have been sent" a girl said with a smile as i nodded, thanking her.

once she left, jun-hee stared at me. "did you sent one for.." my best friend said, stopping herself as i shuddered.

"yeah. of course. they're best friends." refering to my husband and se-mi. i put a smile to pretend i didn't cared. or at least i tried, although it didn't even reached my eyes.

if your own best friend stares at you with pity, you start to consider maybe you're not doing as well as you thought.

but i couldn't back up. not now. not ever.

"this belongs in the trash" se-mi says with a sarcastic smirk, grabbing the invitation only to crumble it with anger as min-su stops her.

"we can't just.. not go" he says to her as she stares at him, incredulous.

"do you want me to go to that fucking wedding? for what?" she spits with anger and disbelief, her voice getting louder as he sighs. he got used to seeing his best friend angered ever since the news came out.

"listen, i get it, okay? but it's our best friend's wedding. we can't just miss it" min-su says in a soft tone, trying to make her understand.

"i refuse to watch her get married." her cold voice snaps. "fuck this." she says with a groan, frustration all over her face.

"you need to move on! you know those two! yeah they hate eachother, but they're not breaking up sem. they're getting married, and probably everything that goes after that. are you just gonna avoid thanos until you die?" he says snapping as she furrows her brow, a small pout on her pierced lips without her even noticing it.

"there's nothing to move on, there was never anything between me and her right?" she says with a sigh. "i'm still not going. i fucking hate weddings" she says under her breath, going to her room to avoid the conversation. and something about that doesn't feel true, because she loves to think about you on a wedding dress. but not if it's not with.. she shakes her head to remove the thought, slamming the door. min-su sighs, his hands on his face, exhausted.

"oh god" jun-hee says with tears on her face, her eyes twinkle in awe as i laugh, a little teary.

the dress looks.. perfect. just like in my childhood dream. my perfect dream wedding.

"it was made for you" she says as i chuckle, giving a little spin for her.

i should be so happy...

"yeah.. i think we're done" i say to the girl from the store, who's standing on my side, staring at me with a soft smile. "this is it. this is the one."

i slowly head back to the changing room to remove the dress. i place back my clothes while my assistant goes to pay. i stare at myself in the mirror.

why am i not happy? why doesn't it feel like i'm getting married?

i sigh as i leave the store with my two companions.

"let's grab some coffee, it's right around the corner and im dying for some caffeine." jun-hee says as i nod.

i feel my phone buzzing on my pockets.

oh god, of course. he's always fucking forgetting about the wedding or where i am. god why am i marrying this-

my breath hitches as i grab my phone, reading the text.

this can't be happening.

not now.

oh god.

sem: a wedding?

sem: really?

of course it's her.

of course she texts me out of nowhere a fucking random tuesday at 3 pm.

of course she makes my heart beat on my chest like no one ever did. just for a fucking text.

i scoff in disbelief as my manicured nails type with anger.

me: for real?

me: this is what you're texting me?

me: after not hearing about you for fucking YEARS??????

i see the little bubble that indicates she's typing back. the fact that she hasn't left the chat since she texted me makes me bite my lip.

sem: i've seen the photos

sem: you know

sem: you dont look like someone whos excited to get married

i roll my eyes as i let out a shaky breath, she hit a nerve.

me: what do you know? you havent talked to me in years, maybe things changed.

sem: everything did.

sem: except this.

sem: why do you keep lying to yourself?

i place my phone back in my pocket with shaky hands, leaving her on seen. i place my head on my hands as i groan.

why did she had appear out of nowhere?

i was fine without.. knowing about her.

without thinking about her. without her smile. without knowing if she's seeing someone..

i was okay without her. yeah. i was perfect.

god i really need that coffee.

as i get home i watch my... fiance laying on the couch.

"did you even tried the cake samples i left?" i said with frustration as i leave my purse.

"uh, nam-gyu did, he said the black tea one was really good" he said without too much care as i stared at him disbelief.

"am i getting married to nam-gyu? because i needed MY husband to try them!" i say, standing in front of him, my hands on my hips as he rolled his eyes.

"who the fuck cares about the cake baby? no one does" he says, his arms sneaking around my waist to bring me closer to him.

"i care! i am going to be the wife in this fucking wedding and i care about the cake!" i shout angry. "and don't touch me" i let myself loose of his grip as he groans in built frustration.

"seriously? this again?" he says with a sigh, letting go.

"after the wedding" i say to him as my heart sinks. liar.

"about time" he rolls his eyes, his focus on the phone once again.

i stare at him blinking in disbelief.

this is my life?

am i gonna marry.. this idiot?

i go upstairs as i remove my outside clothes, placing on my pjs. i slowly let myself sink in bed as i grab my phone, my hands trembling as i bite my lip.

was this a good idea? no.

clearly not.

but god, i couldn't stop thinking about her.

me: are you coming?

me: to the wedding

me: i sent you an invitation

it takes her two minutes to reply.

sem: no.

oh. i chew on my bottom lip thinking about what to reply, until she texts back a few minutes later.

sem: why?

do i? do i wanna get marry, knowing she's there, staring at me?

the question is.. will i get married, knowing she's there, sitting on the crowd, watching me?

me: i want you there

the texting bubbles appear and disappear for over 10 minutes, making me extremely anxious as i wait for her reply.

sem: okay

okay what? okay that i want her there although i shouldn't? okay that-

sem: i'll see you there.

sem: consider this as my confirmation to the wedding.

i throw my phone away with shaky hands. my head sinks on my pillow, muffling my scream.

god, what have i done?

finally, today is the day.

today, i'm getting married.

the happiest day in my life. that's what everyone is saying.

so why i've been crying non stop until falling asleep?

i stared at myself, sat in front of my mirror. my makeup perfectly done, my hair loose in soft waves, the dress made just for me. it had to be like this, because this was what everyone expected from me.

i sighed as i stood up, leaving the room to go wait on the door for my entrance. i could hear the bells ringing, the wedding music. my dad appears, walking slowly until he was standing besides with a smile.

"i'm proud of you" he said, staring at front as i did too, my eyes teary. but it wasn't happiness, it was...

"everything is like it's supposed to be" i said, streightening myself. my head turned to stare at him. "am i finally the perfect daughter?" i asked my dad, my voice trembling with emotion.

he gave me a confused stare, a hint of what it looked like sadness, creeping into his stare. "it's not the wedding, it's clearly not the husband" he said as we both softly chuckled. "it's you.. you're my daughter. and i don't need you to be perfect, you being you it's all i want. your happiness. honey, nothing else matters after that." he said as i holded my tears. i bit the inside of my cheek, my heart pounding on my chest.

it's too late now, isn't it?

i could feel him interlock our arms as the doors opened. we moved one step at a time as we slowly entered the ceremony. to my wedding.

i shudder at the sight of everyone in the room, but i knew my eyes were only scanning to look for one person.

and when i found her, and my heart stopped.

she was watching me with a soft gaze, eyes almost twinkling as she roamed through my form, slowly taking my face, my body in the dress, and lastly, going up to meet my eyes. all i needed to make my heart flutter. i felt frozen in place, i could see everyone staring at me, wondering why i wasn't moving. my dad pulled my arm to get me out of my trance, but nothing worked.

i was there, stucked right where she left me.

on the last time i saw her. the last time my heart beated for her.

"if we get out of here and.. you decide that you're done being his perfect wife, and maybe you want to be happy.. with me.. i'll be waiting. i promise"

she was just as beautiful as i remembered her. of course i've seen pictures of her, but nothing like seeing her in person again.

our stare never breaking.

her eyes screamed 'please, love me'

and mine replied 'i do. but i shouldn't'

"are you okay?" my dad said, breaking the staring contest as i took reality of my surroundings. i shakily let out a small breath as i nodded with a fake smile. i kept walking to the altar, where i saw my... future husband.

right.

as i took my place, he took my hands in between his.

i trembled, and i swear i wanted to hear whatever the priest was saying. i really did.

but all my focus was on her.

was everyone blind for not noticing? or was everyone trying to pretend they couldn't tell how i stared at my husband's best friend?

when our eyes met again, i averted my gaze, trying really hard to pay attention to the priest talking on the altar to me and my future husband.

but god, i could not focus when she was here.

until i heard the priest coming to the end of his speech.

"if anyone has just cause to object to this union, speak now or forever hold your peace"

silence spreaded on the ceremony.

the quietness in the room making me shiver.

until it wasn't quiet anymore.

because everyone gasped.

and my eyes shut close.

and the quietness was replaced with whispers, with judging stares.

it wasn't quiet anymore, because she stood up.

my heart felt like it stopped in place. i could see my fiance's eyes widen, staring at se-mi like she was mad, insane.

but i knew she wasn't.

she was just in love, like i was.

and god, not from my husband.

her tall figure stood in the public, standing up as her mouth agaped like a fish. she tried to find any words to say, but she couldn't.

min-su and nam-gyu besides her, staring like if she grew a second head, completely shocked.

my eyes widen as i saw her take a sit again.

her mind was conflicted. i could tell. does she oppose? does she love quietly? what was more important? her best friend or her feelings? she shifted uncomfortably on her chair.

what was done was done, right?

fuck it. she thought, standing up once again.

everyone stared, their eyes open like never before.

"i-i oppose" she says in a weak, trembling voice. her eyes find mine, her stare pleads me to not let this keep going.

it begs me to go with her.

her hand moves to try and reach me as i watch her trembling hand and her pleading expression.

"i love you." she says with tears on her eyes.

and of course i knew this couldn't happen. of course i knew this was madness. i was about to get married. my life was buildt for this specific moment.

but my heart responded first with a sigh. not tears, not a scream, not a mad reply.

a sigh of relief.

i stare at the people sitting shocked in their seats. their gazes gravitating from her, to me and choi su-bong.

and suddenly, it's not like before. i'm not frozen in place, i'm not scared. i don't feel ashamed, i don't feel a thing.

except relief and love.

my last sign? when i stare at my parents, and they dont look at me ashamed. they're not embarrassed. they nod at me with tears in their eyes, intertwining their hands.

i get off the altar as i laugh.

a laugh of happiness. i chuckle loud and the feeling takes my entire body as i walk to her slowly. our stare never breaking as i stand in front of her, in my beautiful white dress. i reach to take her hand, the contact leaves a warm feeling on my heart.

"can we go?" are the only words that leave my lips with a shaky breath.

she stares at me, letting out an airy soft chuckle in disbelief, not believing this is happening.

"fuck, yes." is all she mutters as she moves in between the people, intertwining our hands like she never plans to release me as we run to the exit, our hearts jump in our chest.

and this is insane. i know it when we get into her rusty old car while the people gather outside to stare at us. but it doesn't matter.

it doesn't matter when my dress ruffles through the window, it doesn't matter when i buckle my seat belt with a happy smile and it certainly doesn't matter when she actually starts driving and we laugh, like a whole hearted laugh.

"you left your husband. in the altar. you left him" she says chuckling, filled with emotions. shock, disbelief, happiness.

"i- i did. and i don't regret it. god i don't regret leaving him for his.. best friend" i laugh as i stare at her. i take a deep breath as i speak "stop the car" she stops so abruptly, the car brakes.

"are you regr-" i unbuckle my seat belt as i turn aside. i cup her face in between my hands, my eyes roaming across her entire features.

this is the woman i love. it feels so good to finally say it out loud.

and i kiss her.

and is everything i always wanted to feel. it's what i expected from every single one of my ex-boyfriends. is filled with hunger, desire, passion and love.

and my heart feels warm and i know now exactly what love was supposed to feel like.

the kiss lowers to something softer, one of her hands goes to my cheek, caressing it with her thumb as my hand moves to the nape of her neck, pulling her closer. her other hand roams through my body to grip my waist.

"this feels like a dream" she mumbles in between kisses.

"i know, i know" i replied as i kissed her again and again, love-drunk. "but it's not. i'm yours se-mi. i'm completely yours" i whispered against her lips as she nodded excited. her nose softly caressing mine, an intimate gesture.

"can i start the car and get the fuck out of here, please? because i never want to look back" she says breaking the kiss. i nod happily.

"please, start the fucking car" i chuckle as i go back to my seat, connecting to the bluetooth of her car, i look at the playlist on my phone until i find the one.

"i am not the kind of girl

who should be rudely barging in on a white veil occasion

but you are not the kind of boy

who should be marrying the wrong girl"

she smacks me softly as she listens to the lyrics, rolling her eyes as i snort.

and as my eyes find hers, i know i finally am where i belong.

known actress leaves husband on the altar!

we saw our famous girl, that we all know and love, leaving rapper ''thanos' on the altar.

the last thing we heard from him to the press was: i hope she's happy now.

and she looks like it! because she's been sharing photos on social media with her new girl non stop!

let's wish a happy relationship to the recently out of the closet actress!

[lilhawkeye3]

A Crash Course to the BeyoncéBowl Performance, from a Black Woman

Note: this is NOT an in-depth deep dive into her recent albums or the songs specifically. I highly recommend you listen/read the lyrics on your own time and conduct your own research! This is just to get you thinking.

So now that we live in a post-Kendrick Super Bowl society, I wanted to revisit Beyoncé's halftime performance during the Christmas Day NFL bowl game, aka BeyoncéBowl. While this did have less viewers live (it was on Netflix, it was Christmas, it was not the Super Bowl), I think her performance still had some very important takeaways, even if they were more subtle in comparison to Kendrick.

Let's discuss, starting with...

COWBOY CARTER -- yes, the name of Beyoncé's ACT II album, but also displayed prominently on her sash and on a banner as she rides into the stadium. In western US history, cowboy had racist connotations. After the Civil War, approximately 25% of cattle workers in the Wild West were Black... and a lot of people weren't happy about that. White cattle workers were cowhands. The Black men in their same roles were cowboys.

This is a demeaning practice that still exists today. Black men are often called "boys" to take away from their legitimacy. The reverse is true as well: Black boys are elevated to "men" to signify that they are a threat.

THE COWBOY -- we see this in the very first visual. Beyoncéis Cowboy Carter of course, riding in on her white horse, but she is accompanied by a Black cowboy guiding her horse. The imagery is accompanied by a fleet of lowriders (cars with hydraulics to make them bounce, it's really cool) as Beyoncé rides through them. Considering that we see this same Black cowboy later driving her in a car in the stadium set, I think it's fair to see the parallel here-- here, she shows, are our modern city cowboys. This does not mean we have lost our western cowboy roots however, as we then see our modern Texas cowboys standing on top of their horses. This is a high-level skill.

BLACKBIIRD -- (COWBOY CARTER is entitled ACT II. Most songs include II in their title, I didn't misspell it.) Beyoncé is joined by four rising artists: Tanner Adell, Brittney Spencer, Tiera Kennedy, and Rayna Roberts. She walks in line with them as they sing about "learning to fly" -- she sees them as equal to her, not competition to pull down. They're spreading their wings. I will call out Tanner Adell in particular as she is a rising country music star (if you've seen Twisters, you may recognize her music) but in one of her songs "Buckle Bunny", she mentions "looking like Beyoncé with a lasso". She's come full circle!

YAYA -- Her license plate is BNCNTRY (been country). When Beyonce first broke into the industry, she was belittled by being called "too country" as from Houston. When she finally made a country song and performed with the then-named Dixie Chicks at the Country Music Awards with a Black band... white people were not happy. This is the same CMA community that recognized Billy Ray Cyrus for the success of "Old Town Road" instead of the main artist and creator LilNasX, because LilNasX is Black.

The story of YAYA is that music transcends genre and should not be limited by these pigeonholes people try to force artists into. Keep that in mind.

My family lived and died in America / Good old USA / Whole lot of red in that white and blue / History can't be erased

HBCU BAND -- this is a staple of many of Beyoncé's public performances (see her Coachella performance, Coldplay's Super Bowl halftime show). Texas Southern's Marching Band joins Beyoncé on the field for this event. If you are new to the term, HBCUs are historically Black colleges & universities. This is in contrast to PWIs, or predominantly white institutes. Beyoncé performs "MY HOUSE" for the first time alongside them and her daughter Blue.

SHABOOZEY -- Another rising artist in country, Shaboozey has also faced backlash for being a Black man with one of the most successful country songs of 2024, "A Bar Song (Tipsy)". As he sings: Still going up like a ladder / I'm still in the field.

LEVII'S JEANS -- It's important to note Levi's was one of the early supporters of Destiny's Child. Jeans have also always been a symbol of the working class, and including Post Malone on this song (IMO) shows crossing that bridge: the white working class and white country have more in common with the Black community than not. Like Kendrick said, the culture war is to distract from class warfare. (I understand Post Malone is rich now, but this was my takeaway.)

JOLENE -- Dolly Parton is the queen of country and she gave her blessing on this song to the point of introducing it on the album. Hers is the only opinion that maters. That other white artists and audiences have voiced issues with Beyoncé doing this song is telling.

NRG STADIUM -- a brief interlude here to say that NRG Stadium in Houston, Texas, is home to the NFL team the Houston Texans (yes really lol) but also is home to the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo. I was there during last year's rodeo, and this was right the next song I'll talk about released... y'all, when I tell you Black people showed up just for the vibes? It was so fun. The stadium also half-emptied after Beyoncé's halftime performance ended, so the city really showed up for her.

TEXAS HOLD 'EM -- Let's line dance y'all! Texas Hold 'Em is an unapologetic country anthem and shows the range: the same dancers that hip-hop and twerking for earlier songs now rallies together to line dance. Country music was created by Black people, and we haven't forgotten. The album crossed a number of genres and showed how country is related to, inspired by, and built off of other genres just like many genres built up by Black musicians are.

You don't have to like COWBOY CARTER, you don't have to like country music, you don't even have to like Beyoncé. But her ACT II takes a lyrical and musical path through Black musical history and her own personal history to create a work of art. Her style is not the same as Kendrick's nor should it be, but her NFL halftime performance was still an act of resistance and celebration of our culture.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk, and this has been another Tea Time with Hawk. ☕🦅

[reidingandallthat]

what's in a name?

a last late night conversation, where you confront lauren and start questioning if that's even her real name.

emily prentiss x reader words: 1.8k genre: angst cw: set in when emily was undercover as lauren, reader's role isn't mentioned, feel free to assume. lyric prompt: I will not ask you where you came from, I will not ask and neither should you. honey just put your sweet lips on my lips, we should just kiss like real people do.

a/n: my submission for my beloved @mggslover 's event, lovers1kevent, again congratulations lovely. tried something different so im terrified. ill just hide out after i post don't hmu kekfjrlfk. idk if the stove and fire thingy worked out as I wanted but oh well.

Nightfall fell like a blanket around the cold winter, three steps into the kitchen with just a lamp on. Dim lights remind you of the same moment just a few months ago, hurried hands roaming through kitchen drawers, hoping for just one clue. 

You take a knife, an untoasted piece of bread laid out on a plate, not much patience to turn on the stove so you spread out jam over it. Cold to touch, just like she was before the calamity. 

The thought was scary, not very surprising, but you had your suspicions. You only hoped for them to not be true. 

A clutter shakes you awake, looking around for any intruder or perhaps Declan, maybe he had a nightmare. The sound was brief as if the intruder had only realised the sound they made but you had heard it. 

Slow and tentative footsteps, careful to never make a sound, you try to decipher the direction of the sound. It's hard, now that it's so quiet. 

But then you hear it again, the scraping of a drawer. So you take the knife left on the kitchen counter, yielded in front of you as a warning. 

Just three more steps till you find out who's here but something stops you. You only see a glance of it, but it's all too recognisable. It's her. 

Her expressions are calm but her hands tell a different story. She doesn't dare look up, her eyes glued to the file she's holding open, determined to look at every word on the paper. 

“She must have stayed over,” You think as you see Lauren hurriedly turning over pages. 

Her looking through anything in the house isn't that much strange to you, but it's the middle of the night and her breath quickens at every second that passes. You know there is nothing normal about this. 

But you rest your weapon anyway, making sure to make a sound so she can hear you coming. And as you anticipated, her body reacted instantly, the file being closed and hidden, her hands busying themselves with the water bottle on the table. 

You slowly walk in, suspicion clouding your face. You don't know yet, but she can tell. She can pick out everything you want to say just by seeing your face, but you don't know that, yet.

“Hi.” You say,

“Hey,” she chuckles, “I was just making a sandwich, do you want one?” she asks, a smile betraying her narrow escape, and perhaps even the objective of her arrival, but she doesn't know that yet.

The red color of the jam stares back at you in fluorescent lighting, eyes strained from being open for too long. 

You're not even hungry anymore.

You can sense her now, a presence too heavy to ignore. You haven't looked up in a few minutes but you could feel her staring at you, brown eyes too enticing to ever look into. 

“You should eat,” she says. 

Your eyes close heedlessly, a sharp stab of pain you desperately hoped you never felt, but it was common nature now. You look up and force a smile, not caring much to make it look natural, she can always tell anyway. Another thing that haunts you most days. 

It's very hard to hide from her, but you can never find her, always looking at a distance, never too close or too far.

You’ve told her it's unfair, she only laughs. Cruel.

“I’m not hungry anymore.” 

She smiles, amused, endeared. Cruel.

“So you were sleep cooking?”

You're grateful she can't see you smiling, you don't want to give her the satisfaction. So, so cruel of you. 

“Don't make me laugh.”

“Is that a crime now?”

The garden was more beautiful to you at night, the smell of jasmine was much more prominent but you had to stay away, if you got too close it made you dizzy. 

You hear a sound, but instead of panic a warmth causes goosebumps all over your body. 

You know how you can tell someone's footsteps apart? 

Hers are unmistakable to you, you're positive you can tell her breathing apart from a crowd of thousands. But that's not appropriate to say out loud.

You learned that pretty quick, nothing was to be said out loud, it made it too real. You can't really tell why she comes every time you call, or why you oblige to her insistences, but you do anyway. Why would she kiss you senseless then laugh and tease, why would she let you roll your eyes at her? Why was it fine by you to sleep next to her when no one was home, why did you let everything happen even if it killed you, little by little? 

You’d asked her once, her fingers tracing meaningless patterns on your face, running a line up and down your nose. 

“Memory of a goldfish. Do you know how long that is?” She asks.

“A few seconds.” You answer.

“You think we can be goldfish?”

You laugh, it's music to her ears.

“Strange way of foreplay, but sure.”

She laughs, it's music to your ears.

“Schadenfreude,” You say as you assemble another piece of bread with the jam covering only one side of it.

You turn on the stove, I don't want to eat it cold justifying your actions but you know it's not accurate. Excuses, excuses.

It's because she's talking to you, and a sick need to hear it again and again and again until it grates your ears but that moment never comes. Somehow you're always looking for reasons to extend the time, finding excuses to turn on the stove. 

“Taking pleasure in other's misfortune.” She explains and you roll your eyes, of course she knows.

“Mhm. Good job.” You bite into a separate piece of bread as you wait for the pan to warm.

“Why is that relevant right now?”

“You're a classic example.”

Her eyebrows crinkle in offense and you want to laugh but it only pesters your heart, a rope tightening around your neck. 

“I don't take pleasure in anybody's pain,” She clutches her heart, mock pain, and it's a joke for her, but it's three in the morning. And you're tired. 

“You take pleasure in my pain,” an emphasis on the word ‘my’. 

Her eyes turn knowing, pitiful and sorry and you hate it. You hate that she has the upper hand, that she can tell you're a desperate, pathetic mess. 

“I don't take pleasure in your pain, honey-”

“Don't you fucking honey me.”

You think you can hear your heart beating, you can feel it in your neck, as if it will jump out any minute. The light sound of the clock ticking fills the silence. The pan is too warm now, so you turn down the heat. You don't want to burn your sandwich. 

She knows not to push, it's a known routine now. It stays silent until you take another piece of bread when she speaks again, just like clockwork, memory of a goldfish.

“Why did you turn on the stove if you were just going to eat them like this anyway?”

“I have free will, go away.”

“Just warm them you already have the stove-”

“Don’t tell me what to do.”

“Okay, what's going on? Why are you being so dismissive?”

“Because I can-”

“Y/n.”

You only look at her, it's too hard to string together sentences anymore. This is one of the few select times you're grateful she can read you like a book. She knows what this is about. 

“What's your name, Lauren?”

It's only the second time you've asked that question. The first time the consequences felt too real. Her eyes hold betrayal, anger and every other thing you can think of. 

She should have been confused, dumbfounded when you asked her the first, she should have brushed you off. But she was angry, the biggest mistake on her part.

“What are you asking me??”

“Your name isn't Lauren.”

“How would you know?” 

“Because you don't answer me when I call you Lauren, it's someone else. It's not the same person who responds when I call her honey, sweetheart, angel, just anything else.”

It felt like a dare, who could win the argument, who would say the harshest words, ask the hardest questions.

“You promised not to ask.” It's an accusation.

“You won't tell me your name Lauren.”

“I can't.”

Your head hangs low as you take deep breaths. Fire burns underneath the pan, small and timid like it's tired. You put the sandwich on the stove, not keen on asking anymore questions, they never get answered anyway. 

You don't notice her get up, or walk towards you. You were hoping she'd just disappear, like none of this ever happened. But her hands cup your face and force you to look up. You keep your eyes closed, too afraid you'll recognise the look on her face. 

The same one she adorned when she was looking for answers, begging you to not ask anymore. 

But you're tired.

“You don't have any secrets? What is this then?” She gestures between the two of you, and a shadow falls over your face. It's unkind of her to ask this, it's not a fair question. She knows that, but she asks anyway.

“Are you kidding me? Are you seriously saying that? You?”

“We all have our secrets. You have yours, I have mine.”

A ringing alarm sound breaks your memory. Her hands leave you, hurrying to turn off the sound, to not wake anyone up. 

She flips the sandwich over, and the other side is burnt, too dark. 

“I don't feel real,” You say. It's a quiet admission, only meant for her. You're not even sure if you yourself want to listen to it.

“You're not real, Lauren. Neither of us are.”

You take the sandwich off the pan, soothing your fingers after the hot surface touches your fingertips. 

You look at her and she looks puzzled, it's adorable. The inexplicable urge to kiss her pesters you again, you had vowed not to do it, but she's too close for you to not to, so you reach her lips anyway, just for a second. But she keeps you in place, just a few more minutes, a phrase you've heard too often when sunlight starts peeking through windows. 

You turn the stove off as she lets you go, you take her silence as an apology. You don't think you could take anymore reasonings and explanations. 

...

The everyday noise of the mornings shakes you awake, you can't even tell when you fell asleep. It's only eight am, you've definitely not gotten enough sleep, but you force yourself off the bed.

The housekeeper is in the kitchen, chopping vegetables with the same knife you held last night.

You can't really tell if it was real or a dream, if you imagined a horrible goodbye or if that was it. 

But you hear Lauren giggling in the living room, and you hear Declan’s laugh accompanying hers. 

The dream was real, you know now but you don't try very hard to convince yourself that it was real. It's better off as a dream, you think.

As you look at the scene in front of. you, you think of the same sentence you've thought every morning for the past few months, Memory of a goldfish.

[a-shrieking-cloud-of-bats]

okay so let me start off by saying that when I said "influential" I meant "most influential" because, like, pretty much everything that's put out in front of people is influential, my bad on that one, and I was focusing pretty heavily on mechanical stuff (because I like mechanical stuff in games)!

with that said I still don't think it was hugely influential because most of what it did didn't spread outside of it; this isn't a value judgement on what it did, it's just me saying that it didn't influence a lot of other games heavily.

the dialogue, while good, has a very distinct style and it's largely not left undertale/deltarune, probably because it's difficult to do well without feeling like you're imitating it, story is in a similar position, but there is a bit of influence there, for sure; everhood did it as I mentioned in tags, but by and large I don't see A Lot of it. Again, probably because kill/spare is very derivative of the game itself and you've gotta put in some work to make it, well, work. Deltarune is having a similar "sort've influential" situation with the narrative in there, and I'd put it about where kill/spare landed, but it is definitely more prolific, probably because it's easier to work with (in my opinion, anyway).

Cultural impact.... yeah you got me, it definitely swamped internet culture and continues to! I can't argue that at all.

Undertale inspiring other indie games is almost certainly true, but it's sort've hard to quantify, YMMV, I guess, and yeah, it did probably result in a bump in indie game development, but there was a pretty solid flow before undertale hit, and honestly I don't think it went up That much.

and I don't really view any of these negatives as a bad thing really! Undertale is still a great game and it's one of a very small number of games I've played more then once. I'm really looking forward to future deltarune chapters, I personally think undertale and deltarune are some of the better games I've played, toby really did do a great job and I don't think it's an accident judging by how deltarune is turning out, even if he did get lucky in the marketing department for undertale.

Great games, but not wildly influential in terms of other games. I'm sure this could be argued further, but I've said my piece (and taken way too long doing it, too).

Still can't get over the fact that Toby Fox dreamed up a game ending, but he decided he wanted to make something a little less ambitious first, so instead he made the most influential indie game of all time

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

you're so right about harlivy and can i be honest? the way the riddler story made him a shy virgin who doesn't know what flirting is was so boring too? it felt weirdly infantilizing to me (not being a virgin per se, ofc, but the way it was written) and like it also tried to erase the character's edges (no care for personal boundaries, too forward, the whole canon masochist fequenter of bdsm clubs thing) just like the harlivy story in favor of doing the played out awkward virgin nerd thing? also no 'canon' bisexuality acknowledgement but that was expected

the way that the story was going I genuinely thought they were building up to Eddie having a very special episode moment where he learns about demisexuality or being aroace or something, but it wasn't even that? he just annoys two women (couldn't even pull off a rule of three???) and then goes "oh well! at least I have my true love, Gotham City!"

which is like. okay. historically the Riddler's exact motivations and personality fluctuate as much as any other character, sure, but he's generally not in the game for a love of Gotham??? like he does this because he wants attention and money and to feel like smartest specialist little boy. if he's juvenile it's generally in the way he's self-centered and overconfident and prone to tantrums when he doesn't get his way, not because he's a sixth grader who's just learning that the other kids have crushes for the first time.

and like you alluded to, yeah, there are MULTIPLE iterations of the Riddler where he has clear Issues With Women not in the "uwu Eddie can't talk to girls because he's shy and awkward" way but in the "Eddie can't talk to girls because he's a fucking creep" way. particularly in recent years, several writers have been a very deliberate choice to give him traits lifted straight from pickup artist and incel circles to emphasize the their take on the character sucks in a way that's inseparable from misogyny.

which isn't to say every Riddler is on reddit crytyping about looksmaxing, of course, but those ones are certainly indicative of a persistent trend.

a couple of people had sent me asks about this story to ask if I'd read it, known Riddler enjoyer that I am, and included a quick description. I replied to one and said, mostly as a joke, that this is blowback from DC editorial against a valentine's story by Ram V published a few years ago, in which Eddie sends Batman on a valentine's-themed chase that introduced Batman to several of Eddie's past crushes and romances—including a male friend from college, which is presented as being as straightforward and unsurprising as any of the others. the story ends how you think it does: Batman lured to a romantic rooftop dinner with the Riddler, who complains about being unable to approach an attractive woman but is still very much on a date with Batman after casually peppering in that he's bisexual. I don't this there's ACTUALLY any kind of editorial mandate to quash the notion that the Riddler has a messy romantic history and maybe fucks guys sometimes, but man. how far we've fallen in just a few years.

[themultifanshipper]

omg I love Nico Rosberg please do!!

here's a little idea that's been running trough my head maybe it inspires you.

it's 2016, the worst of the worst of brocedes and nico goes out drinking and runs into Lewis's ex (reader) (maybe she's a journalist idk) one thing leads to another and they have nasty nasty sex in Nico's room, which just so happens to share a wall with Lewis's.

absolutely no pressure to write this tho

Sure Lewis had won the race, but you weren't expecting to see Nico drinking alone in a random bar. 

You had an idea that would definitely lift his spirits. 

Warnings: smut, masturbation, cum, filming (hear me out), rancid vibes, basically 2016 brocedes being petty, reader is a journalist and lewis' ex, I'm a lil' mean to lewlew but he deserves it

“Oh, Hello” he said relatively cheerfully when you popped up next to him at the bar. 

Nico had always liked you. You were a breath of fresh air whenever you'd show up at races. 

You worked part-time for Sky Sports and it was always a pleasure being interviewed by you. 

You'd been Lewis' girlfriend for years though, so you were firmly off limits to everyone in the paddock.  

Nico never did figure out why you and Lewis broke up. It's not like Lewis would talk to him about it, so he was left to speculate. 

“How have things… been?” he tried, earning a laugh from you. 

Of course you could tell he was fishing for information. 

“I'm not here to talk about Lewis, Nico”  

You leaned on the bar, pushing your chest against the polished wood, and Nico couldn't help glancing down quickly. 

“Actually, that's not strictly true” you corrected with a smile. “I wanted to see if there was anything I could do after your crushing defeat today” you emphasised the word, to see if he would react. 

He raised an eyebrow at you, smug smirk playing at his lips. 

“Are you trying to provoke me, my dear?” 

“Maybe…” you bit your lip, trying to conceal your glee. 

The truth was you and Lewis hadn't been on the best of terms after your rather public breakup. He'd become an egotistical monster, and you were only trying to weigh him down, or so he said. 

But even while you were together, you'd always found Nico intriguing. You couldn't deny the attraction you felt towards him, and now that you were free to do whatever the fuck you wanted, well… now seemed like a good opportunity. 

“Keep it up, maybe you'll manage to get a reaction out of me” he purred, setting his glass down and turning his barstool towards you. 

You wrapped your fingers around his glass, and his eyes followed the movement of your thumb tracing up the side, drawing patterns in the condensation. 

“I'm not trying to do anything…” you glanced at him and noted how enraptured he was in the sight of your delicate fingers barely reaching all the way around the small-ish glass. “I'm just confused how a driver of your caliber just let Lewis pass you like that” 

His gaze snapped back to you “I did not let him pass, my car was…” 

He trailed off when he noticed your expression, throwing his head back in exasperation with a chuckle. 

“Okay, I see what you are doing. It's not going to work on me” 

“Really?” you pouted “You sure I can't get you even a little bit riled up?” 

He huffed out a laugh. “The things you could do to rile me up are illegal in public places” 

Your breath hitched at his tone, there was an underlying challenge in there somewhere. 

“In that case… I have a proposition for you” 

His pupils expanded as soon as you put your hand on his thigh to lean in seductively. 

“We could put our combined talent for pettiness to good use…” 

Your lips barely brushed his ear as you spoke, but he could already feel his pants tightening at your close proximity. 

“What are you suggesting?” his voice was tight with desire. 

“Your room is next to Lewis'… I think we could easily find a way to rile him up” 

Nico's eyes widened, that was the best idea he'd ever heard. 

You leaned back against the bar and took his glass, bringing it to your lips to take a sip. 

“Jesus!” you spluttered “That's straight tequila, Nico!” you gazed at him in awe. 

He laughed, sliding a hand around your waist to pull you in closer.  

“I think we're going to have a lot of fun together” he mumbled. 

You let him drag you closer, standing in between his legs as his greedy hands felt you up. 

“And Lewis is going to regret ever breaking up with you”  ...

◇

Lewis could hear most of what was going on in Nico's room. 

He had a girl over, how adorable. Whatever he needed to make himself feel better about losing, he supposed. Lewis was planning on winning every race if it meant destroying Nico. 

He actually took some kind of twisted pleasure in listening to his pathetic attempt to get back at him. As if it made them even. You got this trophy, but at least I’m getting my dick wet.  

Lewis laughed derisively at the thought. No woman was going to make up for the big shiny trophy he was going to get at the end of the season. 

His attitude quickly changed however, when he suddenly heard the woman's voice louder and clearer than before. 

“Nico!” 

It sounded much too familiar. 

It couldn't be… 

He dropped his phone onto the bed he was lying on and turned around to face the wall. 

“Fuck- aaah… oh my god, Nico!”  

His jaw dropped. He'd recognise those moans anywhere. 

“Nico, please!” 

He put his hand against the wall, as if he'd be able to feel you against the cool plaster. 

“Please! Please, oh my god, please!” 

He refused to acknowledge the twitch in his pants. His blood was boiling with thinly veiled jealousy. 

But the final offense came in the form of Nico's voice. 

“Hear that, asshole?!” he was yelling at him through the wall. “She's begging for me now!” 

You whined as Nico sped up his hips, hitting deep inside you while you imagined Lewis on the other side, fuming at what he was hearing. 

♤

Nico had you facing the wall, your hands clutching the headboard for dear life while he pounded into you from behind. 

You’d really been missing out, it turned out. 

One of his hands was on your hip, arching your back obscenely for him, and the other one was next to your head, flat on the wall to hold his weight. 

You cheek was pressed against the wall, ensuring your voice would be as audible as possible through it. 

“Say my name, darling” he groaned, you cunt was like a vice around him and he was barely holding on to his sanity by this point. 

“Nico!” you cried, you were rapidly approaching your high. 

“Louder, baby. I want him to hear you” 

He slithered a hand around your body and started tapping out a soft rhythm against your clit, the barely-there stimulation making your legs tremble. 

“Fuck- aaah! Oh my god, Nico!” 

“I said louder. You're not coming until I know he's heard you” 

“Nico, please!” 

He chuckled meanly at your writhing figure, the pressure just wasn't quite enough to get you over the edge you were gasping for. 

“Please! Please, oh my god! Please!” 

Nico groaned, you were begging so prettily and politely for him, he could hardly refuse. 

“Hear that, asshole?!” he yelled “She's begging for me now!” 

He increased the pressure on your clit, rubbing wet circles over it that made your eyes roll back into your skull and let out the most pitiful wail as you came all over his cock and fingers. 

You slumped against the headboard, no longer able to hold yourself up, and slid down until your face hit the pillows with your ass up in the air, and you groaned while you rode out the waves of your high, through which Nico was still fucking you. 

He quickly grabbed his phone.  

He knew just how to put the final nail in Lewis' proverbial coffin. 

He turned the camera on, just managing to catch the moment when he came inside you, cunt stretched beautifully around his cock, then pulled out to let his cum dribble out of you and down your thighs. 

They hadn't blocked each other’s numbers. That would be petty... 

♧

So he sent Lewis the short video and threw his phone to the side. 

He gently turned you over, thumbing at the obscene mixture clinging to your folds, and spreading it around. 

He was transfixed, and you let out a small giggle at his expression. 

He raised an eyebrow cockily, bringing his cum covered fingers up to your mouth. 

Much to his delight, you sucked them eagerly, moaning at the taste as your tongue traced every knuckle, every crevice until he was clean. 

His gaze was dark as he watched you work, and once his hand was clean he wrapped it around your neck and squeezed possessively. 

Your confused wide eyes made him chuckle, along with the way your thighs twitched. 

“I had a feeling you would be into that” 

He leaned over you and crashed his lips to yours in a searing kiss, the faint taste of your mixed juices driving him wild with need. 

“Give me a minute, I'm definitely not done with you” 

Lewis didn't care about his pride anymore, the sounds you were making on the other side of the wall were sending him insane. 

♡

He shoved his shorts down and wrapped a hand around himself. The relief was instant. 

He could almost picture you, bent over and begging. He'd witnessed it enough times. 

All that was missing was- 

The buzz of his phone caught his attention from where it was laying next to his knee. 

A text from Nico. 

“Enjoy the crumb” 

And attached was a video of Nico pounding into you once, twice, and then… 

Lewis gasped and the hand around his cock sped up at the sight of your beautiful tight hole dripping with his rival's cum. 

He didn't realise he was coming until it was too late and his pillow was soiled and covered in his spend. 

“Fuck's sake!” he cursed, throwing his phone across the room in anger. 

He ended up seeing a lot more of you after that.  

But you were now Nico's fucking girlfriend, and his ex-best frien would constantly send him dirty grins, reminding him of that damn video. 

And every single night, without fail, he'd pull the video up and get off to it. 

He'd hesitated a couple of times to send it to the papers. But no matter how bitter he was, he couldn't bring himself to do it. 

It was almost as if he took pleasure in knowing that only him and Nico had it. Like a shared dirty secret. 

Nico was going to regret everything anyway. He may have won you, but Lewis was going to win the whole damn championship. 

[myloveer0]

''Dream at first lust''

(Ambessa x reader NsFw)😭🥵❤️

(Part III hehehe)

18+ Read it at your own risk!

Warning: Intense smut🔥🔥🔥

---Imagine waking up in the middle of the night, only to find Ambessa standing before you. What would you do?---

Note: Forgive me… it took longer to update this time. I was debating whether to post a next chapter or make this the last one for a while since I still have some pending school projects. But oh well… this chapter is extra smutty. Hope you enjoy it!

You jerked upright, barely biting back a moan. Your breath was uneven, chest rising and falling as heat coursed through you. You didn't waste a second. Slowly, deliberately, you stepped down at the bed toward Ambessa, not caring that you were half-naked.

In fact, you wanted her to look.

You wanted her to see every inch of you—the way your skin was flushed, the way your thighs trembled, how your wetness slickened the soft curve of your legs. You felt it, the warmth trailing down. This was all the power that Ambessa can do to you.

Such a good liar.

Lying to yourself, pretending you hadn’t wanted her offer—hadn’t craved this. Every inch of Ambessa Medarda was everything you wanted. Even the single strands of her hair, the curve of her smirk, the effortless dominance in her stance. She was intoxicating, and you were helpless against the pull. You would gladly accept any offer she can give as long as it was her. But you were just too prideful to admit.

Your eyes rolled in your eyelids as you slowly sat down on her thigh, felt your clit touched of her cold skin. It doesn’t change the fact that your nearly already panting. It doesn’t change the fact that Ambessa watching you this only makes it a thousand times hotter.

Your eyes fluttered shut, head tilting back as you lost yourself in the sensation. Ambessa was watching you—studying you, indulging in your unraveling with a smirk while you use her thigh for your pressure.

“Yess...” The word slipped past your lips, barely more than a breath.

Then you moved.

Slowly at first, pressing forward, grinding against her strong muscular thigh, each motion sending sharp sparks of pleasure through your clit. It wasn’t enough—but oh, it felt devastatingly good. The pressure, the friction, the way Ambessa didn’t even need to touch you to make you tremble.

This feels like a heavenly dream come true. Ambessa was someone you never thought and was impossible to get into. You had only fantasized about her, but now you were here, panting as you as you ride her deliciously.

It was a dream come to life, a fantasy made real. And you never wanted to wake up.

Ambessa watched you for a moment, her gaze dark and unreadable—except for the unmistakable hunger simmering beneath it. Then, without warning, she move, her large hand reaching out rasping against your increasingly sensitive nipples through the thin fabric of your tube top.

A sharp gasp tore from your lips as she rolled the sensitive peak between her fingers. She tugged—hard. A strangled cry escaped you, your back arching instinctively. You can't help but hold to the armrest for support.

Then, she looked up, “Take it off, little one.”

You were only too happy to comply. Fingers trembling with anticipation, you peeled the last fabric from your body, letting it slip from your shoulders and fall away. The cool air kissed your exposed skin, but nothing compared to the heat in Ambessa’s gaze as she took you in.

The way she watches you—God,You can’t breathe. Your orgasm is bearing down on you. You lean back and prop your hands on her knee, giving her full view of the long line of you body as you straddle her thigh. Ambessa jaw goes tight. “ I must admit, child. You have a beauty that demands attention.. ”

You bite your lip for keep from begging for more, to praise you more, but you can’t stop yourself from rolling your hips harder, grinding against her harder and faster. Your almost there. It was too soon but who can you blame? It was Ambessa you were riding.

Ambessa must felt it. She releases your breast before her large hand starting creep down to your inner thigh. So near but so far. She hisses out a breath against your neck. “Your so wet I can feel your wetness dripping”

 You draw in a shaking breath. “My lady If you don’t start touching her, she’s going to touch herself.”

  Ambessa laughs against your neck. “Impatient.”

Without warning, Ambessa plunged one strong finger in your pussy. A gasp escaped your lips as you felt the sudden fullness. You grabbed her arm with the shockness. It was nothing compare to your delicate hands. Even after days of stretching it wasn't as half as Ambessa's. It's like one finger of her was already three in your. She shove it as deep as she could making your body squirm.

You reached up, feeling reckless—bold, even—your mind clouded by pleasure. Your fingers trembled as they traced over her broad shoulder, down the planes of her stomach. The silk robe did little to hide the hardness of her body beneath your touch. She was ripped and powerful. You wanted to look under this silk every inch of her but you were not brave enough. Afraid it will upset her more.

Touching her meant surrendering to something dangerous, something you couldn’t take back. And Ambessa? She was the kind of woman who took whatever she wanted.

"Fuck! Fuck, yes..." Oh god, what am you saying? you don’t know, but you can’t stop. As if your mind stop functioning due to the overwelming pleasure. The words spilled from you before you could stop them, your voice raw, desperate. A flash of panic surged through you as you slapped a hand over your mouth. Too loud. Too loud. What if your neighbors heard? what would they think about you..

But Ambessa didn’t care. If anything, your muffled cries only seemed to fuel her. Then a hot warm sensation covered your nipple. You look down at her and both of your eyes met only to find her mouth covered your nipple. She suck on it, tugged it with her mouth as she circled it with her tongue. You cried. Feeling the cold lip cuff in your skin. It was intense. She was so hot sucking your nipples.

Ambessa's finger didn’t stop. She didn’t slow. Her fingers plunged deeper, relentless, as if searching for something inside you.

And God, she was finding it.

"Look at how greedy your pussy is. You’re practically pulling me in. Don’t you dare come until I say so..'' Ambessa’s commanded. You looked at her with wide eye, disbelieve. Was she serious?!

With pleading eyes, you shake your head, your body trembling with need. "I—I can't! It's impossible… I'm too close—I’m going to come, Ambessa!" you cried out, your voice breaking between gasping breaths.

Ambessa’s grip tightened around your hips, "Not yet," she warned, her tone laced with dark amusement. But your body can't take it any longer.

Then a sharp, all-consuming pleasure surged through you, ripping a scream from your throat. Your toe curled upward as you orgasm. Your entire body convulsed, helpless against the overwhelming release, your whimpers swallowed as you collapsed against her chest, spent, shaking, completely undone.

You were beat. Completely wrecked. That was, without a doubt, the most intense orgasm of your life—and all from just grinding against her. With just one finger. The thought made your body shudder. How much more could you take?

Before you could even catch your breath, Ambessa's strong fingers gripped your jaw, lifting your face from where it had rested against her chest. Her eyes burned into yours.

"Didn't I tell you not to come?"

Your lips parted, a weak, breathless sound. "F-forgive me… I—I was just so lost… I couldn’t think straight anymore…"

Her gaze darkened. "Excuses."

You barely had time to react before Ambessa shifted, standing up with ease—carrying you as if you weighed nothing. A startled squeak escaped your lips, and your arms instinctively wrapped around her neck, clinging to her afraid to fall down.

She moved, each step slow and deliberate, until she stopped at the other side of the bed.

Your breath hitched as you realized where she had taken you.

The two of you stood in front of a full-sized mirror.

Your reflection stared back—disheveled, breathless, your skin flushed still lingering from your orgasm. The moonlight entering from the open window was the only thing that light up the room. It made it a thousand times better that way. There you can see things properly.

Ambessa carried you effortlessly in her arms, cradling you like a bride. You were completely bare beneath her, while she remained dressed in that flowing red silk robe. Against her massive build, you were so small—like she could snap you in half with just a flick of her strength.

You noticed the furrow in Ambessa’s brow. She must’ve been upset that you didn’t listen to her. But how could you? You were overwhelmed by her—the way her mere presence unraveled you, leaving you powerless to control yourself.

God, Ambessa was beautiful, even when she was upset.

You had no idea what was going through Abessa's mind, what thoughts lurked beneath her head. But the thought where all of this all leading makes you shudder.

You swallowed hard. "W-what is this, my lady?" you whispered, you look up at her. While Ambessa eyes was straight infront of the mirror.

Ambessa smirked, her fingers trailing down your spine, igniting every nerve in their path. She leaned in, her breath hot against your ear.

"This…" she murmured, her tone both wicked and possessive, "is where you learn not to disobey me again."

Out of nowhere, Ambessa sat down at your mattress still facing the mirror. She shifted you as if you were weightless, making you squeal as she effortlessly maneuvered your body. You hold both of her arms in support. In a second, both of your foot rested over her powerful knee, your back pressed firmly against her chest. And in front of you—the mirror.

Your legs were spread wide, leaving nothing hidden, every inch of your pussy lips fully exposed stretch wide open. You can see the detail you haven't seen before. God! Hold on? what is she doing!

You gasped at the sight, heat flooding your face as embarrassment crashed over you. You tried to close your legs but Ambessa was holding your leg too strong for you to fight against. The position was so naughty and scandalous made your pulse race, and as your libido stirred once again. And Ambessa was there smirked as she take her time she get to examine every part of you.

All of this so downright scandalous. But It’s so fucking hot.

''Put me down My lady..!'' You gasped..

You tried to cover yourself with your hands, but she stopped you, her grip firm and unyielding. “Don’t you dare cover it,” Ambessa whispered, her voice low and husky. “Didn’t I tell you? You have a beautiful body. It’s meant to be rejoiced.”

She leaned in closer, her breath hot against your ear. She bit it making you moan “But too bad… this is your punishment for disobeying my orders.”

''But th-'' You were cut short when a finger suddenly slip inside your core. No warning. No care. But this time two of her. You bit your lip, trying to suppress a loud moan. You covered your mouth because of the intense. There you see at the reflection, as your watch at your own aroused expression. Your lips parted and cheeks painted red. You can't recognized yourself anymore.

With ambessa other hand stopping your legs from closing while her other arm was stroking your labia up to your clit. You bite your bottom lip.

“This is too much..! .” Except you sound like your asking her more instead of telling her otherwise. Like your hoping she’ll ignore you and pave the way for us to be oh so bad. Reckless. So fucking reckless.

Ambessa ignored you she keeps grinding into, her fingers stroking your clit in the way you need. It was different this time too fast, too intense. Like it was her new favourite thing to do. It’s almost too much, but you don’t want to stop. You don’t ever want to stop.

''A-ambessa! Yes!'' You move your hips as much as you can and moan.

She leaned down, her lips brushing dangerously close to your ear. “This is what you like, little one, isn’t it?” she murmured, her voice low and smooth, sending shivers down your spine.

You swallowed hard, unable to speak.

Ambessa chuckled softly. “Look what at your expression. You look so breedable, completely under the spell of my fingers ” she whispered, her dark eyes locking onto yours in the reflection. “In your strange little object. The things you wrote… the things you wanted.”

Your eyes widened in disbelief, mortification washing over you in a tidal wave. She read it.That far?!

“I read it all,” she continued, like just read your mind. Her smirk deepening. “You wanted me to use you. To break you. Discard you” She let the words hang in the air, heavy and undeniable. “Such improper words, little one.”

Your mind was a whirlwind of emotions—embarrassment, desire, fear—all blending.

You clawed at Ambessa's arm instinctively, but she didn’t even flinch. If anything, her grip only tightened slightly, just slightly, as her fingers began to sank deeper inside. You watched, breath hitching, as both of her fingers disappeared in and out of you—your body fully accepting her, no matter how big she was.

Your so close, but you can’t get there. Your sobbing and trying to move to met her trust, but Ambessa have you too effectively wrapped up. You helpless to do anything but take it.

So this is what it’s like to taste your own medicine, you thought, the realization sending a shiver down your spine. And despite the embarrassment, despite the vulnerability, you loved every second of it.

Your breathing grew ragged, your body trembling with the effort to hold yourself together.

"Y-yes! I'm coming, Ambessa!" You grabbed her arm as she moved her fingers faster, your body trembling under her touch.

Your throat felt raw from the sounds that had escaped you, and Ambessa's firm hold around your waist kept you grounded. The intensity was overwhelming, but your arousal hadn't waned even a little bit. You found your hand drifting to your own clit, desperate for more even as your body trembled. Your legs still spread open while your foot was still on her knee, like it was glued there. You were so close.

It was messy and so fucking good that you whimpered. Or maybe you were whimpering because Ambessa was watching you like it was her own personal porno—something you didn’t even know you wanted. It was so beyond hot. So beyond anything you’d ever thought to ask for.

Your eyes rolled back; you wanted to fight your own orgasm, fight not to close your eyes. But it didn’t seem to matter what you wanted. Your body took over, pleasure washing over you in waves. God, it was so good. Too good. Can a person die from too much pleasure?

"Ambessa!" you gasped again, unable to take it any longer, clutching her arm as the waves of pleasure continued to ripple through you. Your voice was hoarse but the heat between you both refused to fade. Your head rolled back, and the next thing you knew, your release was making a mess on the floor.

Your body immediatly slumped down, every ounce of energy drained from you. You couldn’t feel your legs anymore—numb from the overwhelming intensity of everything that had just happened. You were on the verge of sliding in her body when Ambessa’s strong arm shot out, steadying you with ease, refusing to let you fall.

Your chest heaved, breaths coming in ragged gasps, your legs trembling beneath you. It was all too much, too fast. The heat still simmered under your skin, leaving you dizzy and barely grounded. There’s been too much pleasure in too short a time and your in danger of having an out of body experience. It was intense and hot and so good. God! Ambessa was so good at this. Like she was made to make a woman suspend on it's own pleasure.

Like she was born to do this. Like she was a goddess, not of war, but of sheer, unrelenting lust.

“I… I can’t anymore…” you whispered, your voice barely audible as you raised your head to meet her gaze in the mirror. And the sight that greeted you made your breath catch in your throat.

Ambessa’s reflection was calm, composed. That smug, knowing smirk curved on her lips told you everything. She wasn’t done. Not a little bit.

“You think you’re finished?” she murmured, her voice a low, velvety whisper that sent shivers down your spine. Her eyes locked onto yours through the mirror, dark and unyielding. “No. I decide when you’re done.”

Her words sank deep. She held you there, her grip firm but not cruel. Holding you afraid you'll escape.

“Look at you,” she murmured, her tone soft but laced with that ruthless edge. “You’re already falling apart. But too bad, little one… we still have so much to do. And you’re not going anywhere.”

Your jaw dropped. Oh god… she really wasn’t joking when she said it would last as long as you could keep up with her energy. At this rate, you were sure you’d die tonight just to keep up with her.

..

Your eyes snapped open.

The morning sun poured through your window, spilling across every inch of the room, its harsh brightness a jarring contrast and was painful against your tired eyes. For a moment, you just lay there, staring up at the ceiling, your mind sluggish and unwilling to catch up with reality.

Was it a dream?

You blinked several times, your heart still pounding as if you had just woken from a nightmare—or something far more complicated. You shifted under the covers, feeling the coolness of the sheets against your skin. The bed was cold, undisturbed, like no one had ever been there beside you.

A sharp ache settled in your chest. So it was all a dream?

You sighed heavily, pressing your arm against the mattress to push yourself up. The room around you was a mess—pillows scattered across the floor, the sheets tangled and twisted like you’d been fighting off invisible demons in your sleep. You ran a hand over your face, trying to shake off the lingering haze as the sunlight made your head throb. Trying to process everything.

Then, a dry chuckle escaped your lips, humorless and a little bitter. Just a dream, you told yourself, but the memory of it clung to you like a second skin.

Flashes of the night flooded your mind—Ambessa’s imposing figure, her piercing gaze, how she didn't let you rest for hours. She really used and made you come multiple times you felt dying every second if it, the overwhelming heat of her touch—it all felt too real. So real, it made your cheeks flush with warmth even now.

Who cared if it was a dream. It was the best fucking dream you ever had. You can't help but grin in excitement. God! That was so intense. I hope it will happen again.

You glanced at the clock on your bedside table. 7:00 AM.

A groan escaped your lips as the reality of your day hit you like a brick. Work. You flopped back onto the mattress. The last thing you wanted was to face the world after a night like that. Your body felt heavy, drained, like you’d actually been through hours of… well, whatever that was.

You released a deep sigh, the weight of exhaustion sinking into your bones. Slowly, you shifted in the bed, attempting to swing your legs over the edge—but the moment your feet touched the floor, a sharp, overwhelming soreness radiated through your core.

What the heck…?

But it wasn’t just the ache that stopped you. Your eyes widened as they drifted down to your body. Your chest was a canvas of deep, dark bruises and love bites, some already turning a faint purple. The marks trailed down your torso, a chaotic map etched into your skin. Your nipples were red and sensitive, even the slightest brush of the cool air making you flinch. The trail of marks continued down your stomach.

With shaky hands, you threw back the blanket, your breath catching in your throat at what you saw next.

Goodness…

The soreness wasn’t just internal—your pussy was red like it was ravaged. Even the smallest shift sent a jolt of discomfort through you, making you squirm in both pain and disbelief.

But then, as it all began to settle in, realization struck like a lightning bolt. The memories flooded back, vivid and undeniable.

A delighted scream burst from your lips, echoing through the room. You weren’t dreaming. Ambessa had been here, had touched you, had left her mark on you in more ways than one. The sheer absurdity and excitement of it all washed over you, leaving you breathless. You almost forgot to breath.

You leaned back against the headboard, your heart pounding in your chest, trying to process everything. You grin so hard that it hurts. The soreness, the marks, the memories—it all felt surreal. But the evidence was right there on your skin, impossible to deny.

She was real!