#and like... yeah they DO have to but thats not inherently a bad thing

[qoldenskies]

I think even if Donnie _could_ one day handle being poked fun at, it would be too traumatizing for Leo to make the jokes.

yes absolutely!! donnie definitely needs the comfort NOW, he's in a really fragile physical and emotional state of mind, but i think theyre going to struggle with handling him like that looooong after he just wants things to go back to "normal" (aka, he wants relative independence like before, and he wants to not always feel like the center of attention like any hint of conflict/tension is going to make him topple over. they'll probably be checking up on him WAY too much over things that arent hurtful at all)

i think donnie will be more relaxed around leo because of the change in his behavior (sometimes it really stung, even way before this all happened, and its one of the reasons donnie struggled to distinguish leo's behavior under the curse from how he acted normally) but he'll also find it kind of unnerving, because he doesn't want him to walk on eggshells around him. honestly it was a perk of them choosing to be twins in the first place; he didn't want leo looking over his shoulder and always worrying about him.

the change is still somewhat triggering donnie's developed hypervigilance. he's looking for some kind of trick when they handle him like he's made of glass, and i think that'll inform his behavior when things are cooled down as well. he cant help but wonder if they're only treating him like this because they have to. he cant help worrying about the idea of them being fed up with having to, when they tried to make that claim about giving him "special accommodations" under the curse before (it was just regular equity for being disabled and having really set boundaries).

[gothteddiesdotcom]

I think that part of what like. kills me about the whole media literacy and critical thinking aspect of enjoying media these days is that people refuse to like. contextualize that

A. Bad media can still hold significant meaning to people

B. Media made for a demographic you aren’t apart of is not inherently bad media

C. Media made for and consumed by the opposite demographic is not inherently shallow or flawed nor is it above criticism for its media tropes either.

[skrunksthatwunk]

just finished s2 of kaiji and it was good i really liked it but i hope i never see that fuckass pachinko machine again!!!

[ff2-soda-pop]

went into tag of an anime that is Special To Me and literally one of the first posts that isnt just a random photo with "#animecore" "#2000score" "#aesthetic" tags is just someone shit talking the show for "being too sad" and "based on a dating sim" and "its from the 2000s"

[arolesbianism]

Guess who's thinking abt eg au again

[snekdood]

i honestly deserved none of the shit ppl did to me that lead me to this point

[sydmarch]

it was VERY much a typical revenge power fantasy only aimed at nerds but it's nice to see him in his natural habitat (little computer guy)

the amateur looks bad in that it seems like basically "taken style male power fantasy but for nerdy guys who dont feel tough or traditionally masculine enough for taken to work as a power fantasy for them" but I miss rami & think it's so funny that he's playing a little computer guy again so I WILL be seated

[souryogurt64]

I feel like a big part of tumblr’s issue with riot grrrl is that they heard a rumor a band did something problematic once (probably in like 1995 fifteen years before they were born… fucking hello- also incorrect information, they were always anti racist and not transphobic) so they go “WOW this whole movement is awful and I’m so progressive and sexy and interesting for not listening to them!” While secretly they’re like “oh thank god, now I don’t have to listen to women bands and diversify my music at all” and they’re in the top .005% of Fall Out Boy Spotify listeners because you’ll get people who will defend men with their dying breath over talented women who couldn’t tackle the entire problems inherent in a subculture that got away from them/too big in the 90’s. Which is also the reason why I’m submitting this anonymously lmao

Yeah, people are able to extend the "a different time" understanding and apply nuance to their own interest in movements like punk, classic rock, emo, hardcore, etc but the same people actively work to bully riot grrrl fans out of their online spaces. I think people hear the word "girl" and immediately have an emotional reaction to it regardless of context, and also are not able to comprehend that riot grrrl was not a hivemind just like how the dead kennedys and the sex pistols both identified as punk but had different beliefs which is something people can comprehend because theyre men lol

I mean I think people are just misogynistic and uncomfortable with feminism and women in general lol which is why you will have Fall Out Boy fans accuse you of a being a bigot and get aggressive if you gently point out that the hardcore scene FOB came from had a lot of issues with abortion, homophobia, and the idealization of fascism.

But it's always the same people who scribble Lynz out of photos, tell people to delete photos of Cobra Starship that have in them Victoria, create elaborate rules as to why Bebe and Hayley aren't allowed in fanfiction, start arguments and accuse you of a bigot if you point out that this is weird as a cultural phenomenon especially if the people doing most of this are usually guys who post about misandry being a real problem in the world lol. And these people also get really aggressive if you ever point out Gerard is also friends with Jimmy Urine, not just Lynz, and Pete has done a lot of very bad things lol. And half of bandom stans Brand New and like has brand new tattoos or whatever which is fine I guess, but not when you're acting like this lol

I also had a GIANT MASSIVE HUGE brain blast last night which was that I think Tumblr Bandom ™ has become increasing more virulently misogynistic and guy dominated than it was 12 years ago because 12 years ago MCR and FOB were making like pop music and teenage pop fangirls were a large portion of the fandom, but now the primary sources of content are SMFS, Thursday, and LS Dunes, and while not certainly being super out there, I think it draws a different crowd than Danger Days and Save Rock and Roll lol.

Like people always argue with you in bad faith when you post about a band guy being sexist and one time I made a vent post about how i like get catcalled if i dress femininely/revealing on the train vs wearing a sweater and jeans (very real thing that happens even though you can get catcalled either way) and someone started arguing with me on anon like "why would that happen, thats not real, youre crazy" and it was like. for all its cringe and flaws this NEVER would have happened in 2013 "i love cats pizza feminism and fall out boy" tumblr lol

Also, I'm not even like a big riot grrrl fan I just interviewed a lot of very small local bands when I was younger (like over 100 i think) and half the time without fail they would have meltdowns about riot grrrl fully unprompted like "im a girl but my bassist is a boy this isnt fair im not problematic either" and it was like okay, are you offended by this for legitimate reasons or did you hear girls were mean to boys and that's bad on Twitter and believed it without realizing that guys were often in "riot grrrl" bands because riot grrrl was a genre and not a gender

[ask-the-rag-dolly]

ok the askbox is open. im taking this opportunity to say ohhhhh im going crazy over the narrative constructed here. specifically with how audience (anon) interaction is intertwined with the main conflict.

because its like.. we are inherently a BAD THING. yes, some of us are actually malicious, but even if we do have kind intentions, and only want the best for ragatha.. just being there is a negative impact that outweighs any positives. we are a parasite, after all. and technically, the only positive action we could do is to simply.. stop engaging. leave the askblog alone. leave ragatha alone. except we could never do that, because we're too curious now, too attached- we want to see how the story continues, how it ends. we cant leave well enough alone, we just have to know. we need to know. so the cycle will continue nonetheless due to our nature. and we have to watch as our main character, the person we're rooting for, gets worse and worse. knowing that its our fault, because we're choosing to engage. we're choosing this path of pain. because we're curious, and that curiosity would kill us if we didn't feed it.

and of course its on a tadc tumblr ask blog of all things lol. no hate btw. im here enjoying it after all! though honestly i say that like this had any opportunity of existing outside of the askblog genre... or even the tumblr landscape itself- i feel like the anon feature itself is also a big part of this sort of narrative, as it allows those actively malicious anons to be even nastier. because it distances us from our actions. like.. we're given a mask, something that obscures our true identities (both to the other askers.. and to ragatha to an extent, as most all look the same to her. who knows, maybe that one supportive anon trying to cheer her up is the same one also encouraging her downfall! she cant tell!)- a thing that wipes our hands free of any consequences. a chance to become faceless and untraceable- so of course some people will indulge. be as horrible as possible. because, hey, its not like you'll be getting any consequences for it! no way to trace it back to you! no way to be held accountable! you can just sit back and watch the fire you made grow higher. more bright. thats the main goal, after all- to make a spectacle! to move the story along and make it exciting! thats the only thing that matters to you. that its entertaining. not the people you'll be harming in the process.

anyways sorry for the fucking. essay. in your askbox. i like talking and also i fucking love dissecting meta-aligned narratives like this. gggrrggrgrgrrrr chewing on this blog like a chewtoy. i hope everyone gets worse and this whole blog blows up!!!!!!!

i can't stop giggling at ' its on a tadc tumblr ask blog of all things ' . this was really originally supposed to just be a silly blog with little story but here we are . you really won't get this anywhere else

i get pretty happy when someone dissects this silly thing so no need to apologize !! i'm my own harshest critic when it comes to this blog so it's often difficult for me to grasp what meaning people get out of this lol truly thank you guys for wanting to see my insane , Unhinged ideas come through

and i love the dissection on the mean anons - a lot of this thing hinges on actions having consequences after all ! every little thing will have an impact on ragatha's mental state . i'll say i think the anons have potential to not be as harmful - as there was a point in the blog's time where they acted more like inner therapists to ragatha than reality-bending beings of chaos ( good times ) . it just really depends on being patient with an actually mentally ill person like ragatha - it does fascinate me how people's frustration with her echoes real life mental health situations .

but yeah thanks !!! i'll be kissing this essay and pinning it on the refrigerator that i call my brain (:

[teddykaczynski]

getting lunch w my mom and she says that to get hired in my new area i might have to shave and conform to societys standards somewhat. and i was like yeah youre right ive been thinking about that. but i tell her how in the knowledge and people ive known, like butch/gnc lesbians try to get hired and arent successful and then are told to conform like wear makeup and pencil skirts and do so and go to interviews and have even less success bc its so inauthentic its not right and the interviewer can tell something isnt right. and then when they go back to the slacks they have more success. we talk more about it and uhhh

i reacted really strongly to the whole conversation and started shaking and i was saying how while i understand culture and reality the idea of shaving my face every day or even every week makes me want to kill myself more than the reasons i told my mom i was suicidal a few months ago and thats why i needed to move in.

she asks me if i dont think people should be trans. i cant remember how it got to this point but i tell her no not exactly i just dont think it matters. or changes anything. like. hormones and surgeries cant make anyone into an entire different thing.

at this point im really shaking and i start talking to my mom about the cotton ceiling and how much it as an idea has hurt me and how i didnt know that homosexuality was a real thing i had no real conception of same-sex-only-attraction until i was 20 bc men online had abused me to the point that i thought it was a sin to not be attracted to them. i tell my mom about how for decades men have invaded lesbian spaces and how bad it is and how a few months ago i went to a dyke arm wrestling night and of course a fucking man with long hair won. i hate swearing around my mom i try not to but i ended up saying to her “the fucking crossdressers and the agps and all the shittiness”

we talk more about my beard and shes like “you know, you could shave it and see it as a step to getting what you want. shaving temporarily doesnt have to mean you betrayed feminism or your cause. it can be a means to an end. i dont think of myself as having short hair, i think of myself as having shoulder length hair but i had to cut it this short to let the gray in and get rid of dye damaged ends,”

my mom and i also talked a bit about how… shaving is an artificial choice. im like if i woke up on a deserted island with no razor i would look like this *points at face* and shes like well if you woke up on a deserted island you would be wearing leaves not a shirt and im like exactly mom! this shirt is a choice i made! its not inherent to my flesh. the way hair is.

[user2718273]

Terrorheads r always dunking on goodsir for the moral absolutism & then having absolutely no nuance in their own conceptions of good & evil. Like when goodsir finally snaps & poisons the mutineers ppl are like "oh see hes a bad person cus he couldnt forgive them cus he only thinks in black & white!!!!" but like bro. If somebody kidnapped u and forced u to carve up your coworkers' bodies for consumption u would not feel too friendly toward them i think. Or just how ppl talk abt goodsir in general. Like yeah he believes in colonizer shit, he was raised by colonizers. Every1 on the ships believes in colonizer shit i fear. But he gets more shit abt it than anyone else bc theres this weird conception that its worse to try and do good and get it wrong than to just straight up act out of vanity or greed. Not that goodsir should be absolved of anything, but its weird how ppl have so little empathy for characters whose desire to do good is tainted by ideological conditioning. Like bro i hate to break it to u. We all have ideological conditioning. If u act like thats some inherent moral flaw and not the inevitable product of living in a society and absorbing that society's beliefs, u will have a very hard time recognizing it outside of tv shows where people are just characters.

Also theres a difference between having no empathy for franklins men bc ur pissed at them and having no empathy out of principle. I feel like theres some recognition of personhood that comes w putting someone on the receiving end of a human emotion like anger, whereas if ur just like "logically i know colonizer bad, so empathy for colonizer = bad," ur putting them on a subhuman level out of the reach of emotion. U dont feel anger or empathy for them. U never find out what u feel toward them bc without accepting the possibility that u might reach muddy, nuanced, morally frustrating conclusions, theres no wiggle room to feel what u feel. But then u never get to feel the anger either. U cant understand things from either side bc once u start trying to sort everything into concrete moral categories, then ur not understanding individuals, ur defining variables, and everything becomes theoretical. I feel like thats part of the reason why when ppl put the expedition on the level of the subhuman, they often elevate the netsilik to the superhuman. Like ppl have a weirdly hard time conceptualizing that silna has complex motivations & is capable of developing complex relationships w other characters? Theyre just like "oh wow shes being so nice to goodsir, she must have stockholm syndrome or be wayyy too forgiving." Cus if u imagine franklins men as having one pure and self-contained nature that opposes the pure and self-contained nature of the netsilik, then theres no way they can genuinely interact. They can only touch each other under the guise of something else. Silna must not adequately understand goodsir's role in the fuckery ripping up her world. Which is ridonkulous to me bc her first interaction w him was when his party shot her father & then goodsir prevented him from dying on the ice. Like. She is not under any illusions that this man isnt part of the hurt and destruction. She just finds a way to care abt him anyway. Not bc she's some fountain of forgiveness, but bc despite the things she must hate about him, there are also things she loves. Same w crozier. Idk if she feels affection for him in the same way she does goodsir, but she def doesnt just save him bc shes a saint. She feels anger and bitterness just like any other person, and if she wanted to, she couldve left crozier to die like des voeux. Personally i think she saved him bc he was the only one left who had seen what she'd seen and she didnt wanna have to bear it alone but idk. She had her reasons. Anyway goodsir is literally a butch buttom so the wokes cant even get her. #She positionality on my moral puritanism til i absolve

[crazylittlejester]

Is Warriors ever going to competitively skate again? 🥺

It depends on quite a number of things really

It would not be impossible for him to do so. The biggest struggle someone would probably face trying to come back after three years of retirement is rebuilding strength and skills but Warriors skates around 15 hours a week and he does dance (primarily ballet) for even more than that, so his issue isn’t that he’s lost the ability to do certain things. He just hasn’t grown as a skater really since he hasn’t had guidance from a coach. His overall ‘elegance’ has improved since he is a dancer, so has some of his mobility and technique, but any strictly skating related things haven’t improved. If he’d want to return to competing he’d have to get himself a coach and work his way back into minor competitions and stuff to start off. He’s young, he’s fit, PHYSICALLY it wouldn’t necessarily be a huge issue for him. He can still skate his old programs just fine, he uses them as practice (and there’s a lot to get into with that because he was injured badly enough it required surgery AFTER he’d retired and then he had to go through PT and it was bad for him mentally and he set his old programs as like. a recovery goal which was insane but no one said he was mentally stable- but that’s an unrelated yap) and sure things go wrong and he’ll slip and fall but that’s just life and it happens, but he’s still physically capable of what he was when he retired at 18 (to an EXTENT- his one knee is a little weaker than the other)

As far as what he ACTUALLY wants in life, things get a little more complicated. He loves skating, GENUINELY he does otherwise he wouldn’t be so upset about having left, but he wasn’t the healthiest or happiest from about 13-18 years old because of how he started to view skating as the only thing giving him worth. Any praise or acknowledgment he got from that he took as a reflection of his inherent worth as a person, and he took any failures as him (a PERSON) not being good enough. His mom put him in dance when he was old enough to form a sentence because she was a dancer whose career got cut short and she couldn’t leave the life so she raised her son in it, and Wars didn’t HATE it (obviously, since that’s what he currently does) but he found skating, wanted to try it, and fell in love with it instantly. It was HIS thing, it was special to him, but also it’s his equivalent of the War of Eras in this au (and for Wild, it’s his fight against the Calamity, but Wild is a whole other yap post alskkdkdkdk), and competing really took a toll on him

But again, his ability to view his worth as a human being got messed up because of the environment he was raised in. He got praise and validation for pushing himself too hard, he got praise for training to do jumps his body wasn’t quite ready for, he got acknowledgment and approval for tearing himself apart and thats just what he was USED to, he never knew anything else. He’s still incredibly competitive because of this to the point that Sky and Twi can start recognizing when he’s getting too worked up and they have to let him beat them at a board or video game because he will have a nervous breakdown if they don’t and they don’t know how to help him when he gets like that because the therapy only helped so much and sometimes it’s just easier to let him win because for THEM it’s just not a big deal to lose. He’s gotten better about it, but it was really beat into him from a VERY young age that anything other than the best, anything other than number one is a failure, and that’s poured over into every other aspect of his life

And he’s been able to recognize that and work on it a bit, since he’s stepped away from skating, he’s gotten to a point where he CAN lose at uno and just laugh because he has a handful of 30+ cards and he can enjoy having fun with his friends. He has his bad days and his good ones. Because yeah dance is competitive just as theater is, you have to audition for certain parts you want, but there are multiple good roles in a show, there can literally be two different parts that are completely equal, and stepping away from skating has been GOOD for him in his first couple years of adulthood because he’s been able to spend some time trying to find himself and be kinder to himself when he isn’t at the top. He’s also been able to make actual genuine friends in his field for the first time in his life because he isn’t paranoid about how they’re viewing him as just a threat and he can actually TRUST them. Granted most of his dance friends are women so they’re not really competing for the same roles anyway, but he’s been able to make male friends too and be HAPPY for them when they get a better part than him (after the initial cry looking at the cast list lmao)

The TLDR is: Maybe. He has to become more secure in himself first and he needs to reach a point where he can view skating as an art that he loves and take criticism as a commentary on his ART and not his PERSON. He’ll most likely get his bachelors degree first and THEN start thinking about where he wants to go from there. He’ll never be able to step away from skating entirely, but he may find himself at peace being a coach and helping others grow and improve as opposed to again competing himself

[swoo0zy]

I think Star and Wander would be just as frustrated w/ each other as Wander was with Dom in s2, if not more. Ostensibly, they share the same goals so theoretically it shouldn't be too hard for one to get thru to the other. Problem is, both Wander and Star are very stubborn irt their views and what they think is the right way to go about things. Granted, with s3 being about testing Wander, he likely would've started to question his beliefs abit and eventually become not as stubborn with his views, especially considering Dom blunty turning down his offer of redemption/friendship at the end of s2. Maybe Star would've had a similar arc? What do you think ?

YEAH !!!!!! YEAH LITERALLY !!!!! thx for asking! big oc infodump incoming

thats exactly what ive been thinking of, like SFEF honestly have the universe's best interest in mind. they motivate their actions on the belief that they're right n they're genuinely doing good by freeing galaxies of villains, even if it's in frankly cruel ways n their definition of what is "good" n what is "evil" is extremely black n white n divided. they are the always the good guys n others r the bad guys who are inherently fundamentally evil n dangerous n deserve every terrible thing in the world to happen to them (that worldview is basically exactly what leads to the dehumanization of villains in their eyes n that is what makes it rlly easy for them to do what they do cuz they don't view villains as actual ppl with their own motivations n reasoning but as a disembodied force to be defeated).

star, who is the perfect guy to represent SFEF's beliefs n ideals (like he genuinely does not question them in the slightest he accepts their worldview as his own to the point his self-identity is tied directly to SFEF. the way he goes about fulfilling his duty is sort of tainted by his own personal wants n opinions sometimes, that's why sugar n ultra r there to level it out, but at the core he operates on the same logic as SFEF do, underneath all of their inspiring slogans n speeches of their righteous mission), is also the perfect guy to serve as a contrast to wander. star is literally like helplessness-less wander from the wanders episode. we only got to see him once in the show n the only thing he did was do a cool pose n explain his worldview, so star is basically what would happen if he got to act upon n actively spread his ideology — if wander had to face against someone w his own discarded belief n prove not just to himself but to literally the entire galaxy that it is not the answer

i feel like wander would be absolutely delighted to see SFEF show up at first. new people in the galaxy, and they're here to help, and they're really good at their job and others seem to really like them — this is basically like the hot shot episode situation. but then as their mission goes on hed begin to recognize their approach is flawed AS HELL — hed get that ideological ick from them. the problem is — he's the only one. post-dominator, after his pacifistic approach didn't work and dominator turned out to be an irredeemable sadist who could've only been stopped by force, the yonder galaxy would sorta start questioning wander n be more willing to side w SFEF n their more forceful methods. maybe that would even include sylvia, give her a bit of an arc — ofc shed still stay w wander n in the end shed support him, but judging by her character i feel like she wouldn't be opposed to a team of good guys who stop villains by force instead of trying to befriend them. even if she started warming up to peepers a lot n even cheered for hater in the end of the galaxy, she still doesn't seem to fully agree w wander on the sentiment that villains can be redeemed (quite paradoxical considering she was a redeemed "bad guy". wonder where that stems from). i think an arc of her coming to her own conclusion that wander really is right abt that instead of just going along w all his plans throughout all s3 would do her pretty well. so there goes the testing wander part. no matter how confident in ur own righteousness u are, if literally the entire galaxy rejects ur worldview u can't help but start to question it. that might even work to wander's benefit in a way, cuz his approach admittedly is still kinda flawed, so starting to question it might in the end make it more nuanced n balanced instead — curiously, what tries to break him ends up helping him in its own way. in the end it'd all probably come around to a big epic wander win n a great philosophical conclusion abt pacifism n what is good n evil n how too drenched in nuance everything actually is to apply such simple black n white logic to it. idk exactly how it'll happen but thats how i imagine it

now this part is curious, cuz smth needs to happen to SFEF after they lose right? now um the best outcome would be to show the entire bigass intergalactic SFEF organization the error of their ways so they can use their influence n power for something better — but idk how to actually come to it, cuz it's quite the feat.

what is a bit less of a feat is to redeem just star sugar n ultra in the end. ultra has her own arc going on of gaining conscience n beginning to question SFEF's ways by virtue of their beliefs being programmed into her, n the very act of her gaining free thought goes directly against her programming. so she doesn't have a brainwashed stupidass little head like how star does, which makes it just the tiniest bit easier. wander would come in super handy as a guy who showed an alternative to loyal to their authority soldiers/robots at least two times before. now i just dont know if i should let ultra have her happy ending or give her the beep boop treatment, inevitably shut down for good or sent back to be reset back to her factory settings the moment she stops being convenient to the cause or even worse tries to sabotage it. hard choice

sugar... sugar is a bit of a pickle. they dont go against SFEF but they don't exactly support it either. u see their species — bonbons — due to their physiological advantages, r rlly convenient for SFEF to hire. theyre almost impossible to hurt, have the ability to regenerate, can shift shape freely n can solidify or liquify their body's consistency at will. so basically SFEF practically has control over their homeplanet, in the cultural n societal sense. working for SFEF is like the go-to career there — kinda like the military if they payed better n also didn't endanger ur life so much. so sugar isn't there out of some righteous desire to save the universe, or for glory, or out of obligation — theyre basically there for the bag. its like a 9 to 5 to them. a circumstance. that attitude is outrageous, but that's the point — sugar is rlly detached from reality. they just go w the flow. they dont want to think too hard about the cause theyre contributing to. they dont want to think of the fact their actions have consequences. they dont want to take the lead of their own life. n since they leave it up for grabs SFEF is happy to accept the offer. in order for sugar to have an arc of abandoning SFEF n growing as a person they need something DRASTICCCC to happen, put them in a situation where they have no choice but to take action n actually pick a side. to commit. idk how that'd happen but it would be great trust 🙏🙏

now star. heheheheheh. until just recently i actually didnt even consider a character arc for him. hes a stubborn self-assured delusional fucking blockhead who would rather kill himself than admit he's wrong. i felt like just keeping him that way cuz i didnt see how wander would be able to make him reconsider that wout it feeling forced. but then it came to me, that if there's anything he believes to be as correct as himself — its SFEF. like ive said SFEF is basically tied into his self image now. every "I'm not wrong" automatically translates into "SFEF isn't wrong" n vice versa. n now — what if those sentiments weren't just separated but directly put against eachother, one or the other inevitably false. what if SFEF fired him. its their big final loss, star is forced to admit defeat, mark the end of their mission in the yonder galaxy n just come back to the main SFEF station empty handed. but they don't even let him do that. they just fire him. he fucked up his first mission in a relatively small galaxy that was literally almost wiped out by a huge threat beforehand — like it was perfect picking n he fucked that up. he proved himself worthless n hes not rlly important enough to deserve a second chance from them, they can fire him n literally nothing would change (a big shocker for star who genuinely thought he was all that. in reality they didn't even hire him in the first place cuz of his skills or something — it was because he looked like their mascot 😭 ofc going up the SFEF career ladder to the point they oh so generously allow him to lead a mission took him a lot of effort. but in the end he's just another easily replaceable cog in the machine. he refused to see that until now. he was like the biggest SFEF d-rider ever n he naively thought he meant something in return, that his efforts would pay off, that he'd be recognized for how absolutely jawdroppingly cool n awesome he is, that he has some worth to them — but he doesn't). n so something that was a big part of him, something he built his identity on, now leaves him on the side of the road. n it creates a huge dissonance — n he can't figure out whether he's wrong for fucking up n being a fucking loser or they're wrong for firing him, cuz both of those r thoughts he refused to even consider before. now probably for the first time in his life he's forced to come face to face w the fact he failed, in a way he can't brush off or takw himself back from after. to make matters worse he's basically homeless now lmao cuz he used to live on the SFEF spaceship station until they fired him n he cant come back to his parents house cuz that's the most shameful humiliating shit ever to him n hed rather kill himself than let his parents know the fucking SFEF fired his ass cuz its kinda a big deal 👍 n so there goes wonder — @catfacedcat's oc

some exposition so wonder is a criminal who keeps getting away n hes basically like stars arch nemesis n they also have a bit of a Thing going on. toxic yaoi situationship. now to star wonder was like. a spot on his squeaky clean self image. falling for a criminal n ur enemy is basically... a flaw. a weakness. an inevitable loss n stuff. actually there was smth rlly good that came out of it, interacting w wonder a lot n warming up to him made star question a bit maybe he's not such a fundamentally evil terrible badguy after all. like "maybe nuance is real n bad ppl r still ppl hmmm ☝️☝️ nah no way" or whatever. so what i mean to say is star is at the lowest of the lows rn right. this is that inevitable loss. hes the spot on his own made up image of himself that he couldn't live up to. so he goes to the guy who he feels he belongs w most now — wonder. belongs not in a romantic sense(ok maybe a romantic sense too) but in a "ure the only person im vaguely close to who i feel like could look me in the eyes rn simultaneously the only person id let see me cuz the very act of me feeling anything towards u was already a step so low for me that begging u to let me stay w u doesn't even feel like going much lower. anyway so can u let me in ure my only hope 🥺" sense. so he just stands outside of wonders car cuz wonder doesnt even have a fucking house either, holding a cardboard box w 3 shirts 10 ties n a cactus, completely drenched out in the rain probably fell in a fucking puddle on the way. n i feel like he doesn't even expect him to open the door. n wonder wouldn't really be to blame if he didn't like things r rlly complicated between them. + she alr has to share her stupid broken ass car w her coolioburger 4yo kid (big shoutout to woopa) like be so fr rn. but hed probably let star in anyway n they just sit there rlly awkwardly n avoid eye contact. basically a huge humbling experience for star that is sure to kickstart a character arc of reconsidering things n becoming a better person n stuff 👍 all because of yaoi

big shoutout to my frjends for this one fr stars arc was like a group project

[windupaidoneus]

have i ever spoken about devola oc in detail. hi

they & their popola were kind of an odd pair? a bit defective but functional enough that they weren't recalled & reprogrammed, devola was the younger twin, otherwise look identical to other devolas/popolas

shades completely wrecked the area they were overseeing in an unprecedented, unpredictable way. they could do nothing, popola died & devola's connection to project gestalt was severed (one of them died so they as a pair stopped being "processed" as alive together. legally devola is deemed dead & unrecoverable) hence their not being reprogrammed after the events of replicant

obviously devola did not cope well with that but instead of going batshit bonkers like popola does in replicant they just. started wearing popola's identity. to the point they convinced themself they Are popola & it's devola who died. because it's easier to roleplay as someone else coping with grief than to deal with their own

wanders for a very long time. very very long time. about 12 thousand years LOL! it's a long time to deny your grief & be completely alone but i think they may actually have crossed paths with emil or absinthe/weiss. way after all replicants passed on though so they didn't meet kainé & nier

background element in automata. encountered eve's corpse &... restored him to a state of functionality through a mix of magic & tinkering. this was kind of bad for everyone involved & led to a near instant codependency situation that would never get resolved & eve is of course very antagonistic about it

eventually gets to a point where he confronts them about not actually being a popola model & just straightup lying (which is info he gets from having a weird. lingering connection to 9s. he doesn't really fully get the stakes of what that Means he just knows devola is fucking lying to him about his very identity while forcibly dragging him around & keeping him alive despite him having "nothing to live for" (he's found more to live for but isn't even close to being capable of processing that as being the case)) & like. engages in a fight with them because #betrayal. he's not as strong as he used to be though so he kind of loses pretty quickly

devola is defective though & parts of them start breaking down a little. they're too emotionally fucked by the Realisation Of That Being The Case (since. to them they Were popola. they'd blocked out the memory of losing popola entirely.) & kinda just. flee

takes some time for eve to find them but it's his turn to tinker with them so they don't die badly. well they do die but it's fine everyone can come back to life a little as a treat

it does.. sort of give them a "logic virus" but eve isn't exactly connected to the machine network or anything. it's mostly just there to keep them alive & doesn't control them into getting Worse or anything. could eve use that for evil in a toxic yaoi way? yeah but lbr hes not thinking about that. thats a very adam thing to do if you ask me

also devola is trans but with the whole obfuscating their identity to even themself they haven't exactly had time to work that out. kinda comes post-everything

they never get to a point of a properly functional dynamic but honestly i don't think either of them could have a properly functional dynamic with Anyone anyway so might as well be with each other

devola's "real" personality is kinda like if automata devola was ruder & far more emotionally unstable. doesn't have the inherent guilt baked into all other remaining twins so instead he's got a shit ton of grief & resentment for project gestalt doing that to him & popola. what is "that"? well (gestures vaguely) everything. he & eve absolutely fight physically regularly

[t4lon]

i do think the no doubles thing is fascinating bc like.. i thought respecting boundaries was good why is it suddenly cringefail and evil to say "hey i have identity issues surrounding x character and as such am not willing to interact with you"

like is it bc im fictionkin that this seems, yeah maybe unhealthy sometimes, but.. fine? do you really need to be allowed to personally interact with. Every introject of the same character as you? is there actually seriously for real INHERENTLY something wrong with this one specifically when, like, "endos dni" is supposed to be respected for some reason???

im aware some people harass others (bad) and other people try to get others removed from social places like discord servers (bad) but why is everyone acting like having an issue with "doubles" is like the biggest problem of modern system society. Fictionkin can and have done that completely civilly (and not so civilly) for a long time and like, "doubles dont exist" is really only a nice sentiment for everyone who... already agrees with you. some other people will be like "well thats nice but i have a disorder. That makes me dissociate under circumstances that others might consider silly or ridiculous. Like when i see a double"

[regular-gnome]

Through many AUs I've been through, yours are the one I like the most, because it's a more realistic one.

I can see that the "cruelty" of other Collectors are not like that they are evil.

For a being that is older than universe, they are like the Gardeners of Stars, as a gardener you have to cut it out what is dead, you have to treat the soil, prepare it for a new tree, now with planets it's kind the same, they visit, they watch, and so they decide if some species is worth to keep and if they are not worth for keeping.

And so, this process of leaving a juvenile collector in a planet till the dominant species dies is kinda a hardening process, in order for them to grow mature and to not let feelings intervene in the decision process, like being a doctor, you must put aside the fear of hurting the patient in order to heal the patient.

But in TOH things got different, they found a species that represented danger to themselves, so they used another species to kill the titans and the little collector paid the piper.

Im very glad you enjoy the AU:D

The concept is rooted in the idea that generally, people or characters don't choose evil simply for the sake of being evil. But nobody is omnicent, they react to whats happening, trying to figure out what might be "best" as they go without really a way to know for sure if its a right call. Having power to destroy a planet with swipe of finger rises the stakes for literally everyone. When the Collector was releashed during King's Tide the game changed. If Belos had managed to control them - nobody would have been able to challenge him. Even Odalia tried to suggest totally reshaping the isles. Seeing anyone as mostly/ only dangerous power sources creates power imbalance, something that can evolve into very shaky and actually dangerous relation when the other side realises they were never really considered a equal person and having the ability to revange. There is a lot of implications and possibilities when someone possesses such power with no oversight and unlimited time but also is a person that doesnt want to be alone:D

If involvement with mortals ends in some kind of complications the collectors will be around to see the consequences, even if they don't directly experience them so sort of desensitization toward the very life they are trying to preserve is bound to happen. "They live for so short and can cause so much change in their own system, its best to control the situation" type of mindset. Also thinking of ecosystem like gardens that need work on makes it easier to deal with, especially since with the scale of galaxy they cant just spend unlimited amout of time in one place full of creatures that do not want to be preserved. Their actions come from a place of care but there is inherent cruelty in their concern

Sooo yeah, its the perspective that might develop in that kind of situation and might end up with leaving one of their own alone for eons. But who knows, this AU is a lot of theories in a trenchcoat and i dont want to defend their actions. Killing all titans? yeah thats bad. It's more about theorizing why anyone would consider that a reasonable option while also not being evil just cuz