#and like. that was all I needed loooooool

[umbrellajam]

man, I'm such a cheap date. I see a fic go "Dick was Tim's hero" or "Dick loved that kid" and it's like 😊 you're so right darling, I'm on board, I'm with you, where are we going?? 👀🙏

[emberglowfox]

closing time

[misc-obeyme]

Omg yes lol the characters missing the hole and their reactions to it. It’d be so funny, and fun and realistic!

I'm sorry for the delayed response on this, anon, but I wanted to write some headcanons about it so bad lol! I hope you don't mind that I took the idea and ran with it.

Here they are, the demon brothers, awkwardly missing your hole and reacting in various ways to that scenario. I loved writing this lol.

Thank you for the idea!

GN!MC x the demon brothers

NSFW MDNI

Warnings: attempts at penetration? loooooool (reader receiving obvs), this is mostly jokes but it's obviously about sex so take that as you will?

Lucifer

He's embarrassed. Instantly blushing profusely. Can't look you in the eye. After a moment of strained silence, he asks if you're okay. Not that he hurt you or anything, but he's trying desperately to salvage the situation.

If you start laughing, he'll act annoyed at first, but it will definitely break the tension. After a moment, he goes into long suffering Lucifer mode. Might even say good grief. Hangs his head in shame and frustration.

Reassure him that you think it's hilarious and that it's nothing he needs to worry about. Tease him playfully, kiss him a few times, and lure him back into action. He might be stubborn about it at first, but he can't deny you anything. And so he gives in, like he always ends up doing.

He's just about to put it in correctly this time, but he pauses. You had better not breathe a word of this to his brothers, MC. He makes you take a vow of silence. You agree, giggling the whole time, which finally makes him laugh, too.

Mammon

He's surprised he missed, but he tells you not to move so he can try again. He gets real serious, concentrating on doing it right. You just bust out laughing because it's so funny. First he misses altogether and instead of getting embarrassed, he's just like wait let me try again.

Once you start laughing, he blushes and sits back, folding his arms indignantly. C'mon! Stop laughin' at him, MC! You're going to have to kiss him a bunch and hug him, too, because now he's just offended.

Eventually starts laughing with you, especially if you tell him how cute it is that he was trying so hard to get it right. Okay, well, it is pretty funny, isn't it? And he loves the way your eyes sparkle when you're laughing.

Loves it so much that he forgets his embarrassment and starts kissing you for real, already getting back into the swing of things. Actually jokes about it with you later, an inside joke that makes the two of you snicker while everybody else is just confused.

Leviathan

Might not even realize he's missed at first. Rubbing up against you instead feels so good, he's unaware of the fact that your hole's still empty. The minute you point it out, though, he completely shuts down. He's so embarrassed he doesn't even want to be near you. Scrambles away, covering his face with his hands and blushing brightly.

Reassure him quickly because if you don't, that's it, you guys are done. You might have to talk him down a little bit, let him know that there's nothing to be embarrassed about. He's so sorry, MC. How can you even stand to be with a loser like him?

Take his face in your hands and force him to look at you. Then kiss him all over. Take the initiative. He might be a little soft now, but either way you can bring it back full force with a little hand action.

Levi will need your reassurance, but you can get him to laugh if you joke about it. Tell him you think it's cute. He won't believe you, but he won't argue with you, either. At that point, he's already putty in your hands.

Satan

Realizes what he's done immediately. Blushes, but tries to act cool about it. Forgive him, MC. Let him adjust a little… if you laugh, he might be offended at first, but then he sees that it is actually pretty funny and starts to laugh with you.

In fact, at that point, he might even stop everything altogether and have a ridiculous conversation with you about positioning. Now that the tension is broken and you guys are obviously able to laugh about these things, the next step is to discuss what you both enjoy.

He will still get embarrassed and blushy if he tells you how much he would enjoy it if you put on some cat ears and a kitty bell. Blushes even more when he tells you he'd like to put those things on for you. Try not to tease him too much, but you can't help but smile at how cute it is.

You may have to distract him if you want things to pick up where they left off. It won't take much, though. If he starts talking about logistics again, just cut him off with a kiss. Then guide him into that empty hole yourself. You taking charge like that will make him forget everything he had been thinking about.

Asmodeus

Laughs right away. In fact, he starts laughing before you've even realized what's happening. Once you do, you're laughing, too. Not just because it's funny but because Asmo's laughter is infectious.

You both sit up and he has to lean against you as he giggles away. He's sorry, MC! That was just really funny. You're not upset, you fully agree. It was hilarious. You guys make a bunch of jokes about it. Jokingly asks you not to tell anyone about this mishap. He's the Avatar of Lust! He has a reputation to uphold!

Covers you in kisses because he loves how you look when you're laughing. Might even start tickling you to get you to laugh even harder. After a little bit, he asks you if you'd like to switch positions. Maybe this one wasn't working quite right? What do you think about - he has about twenty other suggestions. It's up to you whether or not you decide to actually change it up.

Once you've made your choice, though, it's easy for him to dive right back in. He's grinning, though, because he still finds it pretty funny and the two of you randomly burst into giggles in the middle of your moans.

Beelzebub

Notices right away. He's not embarrassed, just tells you what's going on. If you laugh, you'll make him laugh. Then you're laughing about it together. Beel is so cute, all blushy still from the activity, eyes closed as he laughs with you.

Sorry about that, MC. Do you want him to keep going? He'll do whatever you ask at that point. Kiss him and tell him that it's okay, to not even worry about it. And he won't. He trusts you to tell him the truth about how you feel. He's able to simply kiss you back and continue on.

And that's about it. You two laugh about it, talk about it for a minute, and then you're right back into it. He doesn't have any hang ups about it. He has no problem accepting that sometimes he makes mistakes. And you don't seem to be upset about it, so why should he be?

When he does get it right, he might say something in a joking way. Like, is this better? You're too full of his cock to give him a witty response, but your gasping, moaned out yes will be more than enough motivation for him to pick up the pace.

Belphegor

Tries to pretend it didn't happen. Hopes you didn't notice. Of course you did and if you say something about it or start laughing, Belphie will get embarrassed. You can't really expect him to be good at strenuous activity of any kind, MC. Even this. Poke fun at him a little more because it's so cute to watch him blush.

He might get annoyed to the point where he tries to stop altogether. Reassure him with some kisses. Tell him you think it's really cute and that you're happy the two of you can joke about it like this. That will get you one of those rare Belphie smiles.

He's a little off kilter now, so you'll need to get him back into it. Maybe switch positions to change things up. He loves it when you ride him, so if you just reposition yourself for that, he'll be turned back on so fast you can take it from there.

Later on he'll joke with you about it, when he's gotten over the initial embarrassment. It is pretty funny and if anything like that ever happens again, he'll just start laughing right away. You find you're just happy to listen to his laughter.

masterlist | Thank you for reading!

[savemygrades]

night before the exam :

sleep deprived

approxiametly 40 topics i still need to go over

still averaging 50% on practice questions I'm doing

please pray for me!!

less than 4 days until my first exam - trying to stay sane rn but idk how well it's working - so much left to cover but so little time

[luffysprincess]

“X redacted” like we don’t all know who it is

Loooooool this is embarrassing. I need to update his tag 🤣

[castlebyersafterdark]

now that the seal has been broken and you guys mentioned the prns, three things:

there's a couple called shauntondavid and the video titles are silly but there's one ('passionate pounding' lmaooo) where he's wearing a baseball cap and the body type, tall and thin, dark curly hair, it just looks so much like mike/finn and i havent seen that body type in prn before so it was really interesting to watch even if this specific video wasnt my thing per se... but it gave me a visual of what byler spice could look like. cos will's body type is easier to find than mike's, so i really liked seeing this wiry pale guy. i want to draw spicy byler in a way that looks like a shot from the show, rather than explicit erotic fanart

another called fran_josu who have the most gorgeous romantic sex w my boyf video, they look nothing like byler except size difference, but the positioning? the intimacy? the hooked leg that obscures enough body parts to be possible on screen? literally my dream for byler tbh, show this to an intimacy co-ord STAT

i found a vid of a guy with the birthmark on his peeeeeen! its actually kind of hot. johann wood. he's in a forest too.. lover's lake anyone? he's actually kind of thin and pale and interesting too... mike vibes... hmmmmmm yes

it just hit me we might actually be seeing skin on screen? oh my god. literally who is ready for noah and finn to perform this. they might already have?!?!!!?!??! wtfffffffff i need a glass of water. hose me down like hopper in that prison loooooool

Yesssss I'm shocked more like this hasn't come up before! I am always down for these conversations heehee

Ooooh I see what you mean! Those skinny legs feel very familiar. Definitely not the most common body type in this medium so that's cool. The few I skimmed where had the hat on did give major vibes 🤭 I appreciated how slightly strange their videos are, like what are these positions? But honestly? This kinda amateur, more real stuff is more interesting and often hotter to me. Studio stuff gets very annoying very quickly so. Realer stuff is my preference unless I'm looking for something very specific. And agree!! Well, I'd be into anything drawn on this flavor because there's not much spice in general on the fanart side. But! Some real passionate but tasteful cinematic looking shots - like film stills, oh that would be lovely. Lofty art dreams/goals...

Them I've seen!! They're so hot, love their stuff. Their size difference is nice, they're just real fucking attractive oh man. Great stuff. Always love a real couple in videos, it adds! (I had a bunch of their videos bookmarked already 🤭🤭) Like literally, it's prn, but slightly romantic? I'm so into that. That specific video you mentioned - yes! I know what you mean! The leg positioning? Hmmm oh yes. I'm not sure how far the show would go, maybe that's quite further than we'd see but... nothings impossible? Suggestive implication. And oooh while looking back through, ok, hear me out, idk why I need yall to hear me out, this is spicy town after all - there's a specific position in their video "ass eating breakfast" that I desperately need to draw with the boys. It's perfect.

Ahhh I understand that vision more now from previous birthmark chat. I wasn't exactly sure how to picture it, that helps. And interesting account from that guy hahaha, but he doooo got a real nice one so I get why it's the star haha 😉 I'm always mourning any completely devoid of all body hair look though, but hey, preferences exist and many are into that look so fair's fair!!

Contemplating what may be depicted in the show is gonna keep us guessing for the next year and how fun to imagine and brain storm. With you completely reveling in that feral energy ahhh I'm both beyond ready and unprepared to deal with it all. Man though, there are so many things I want to draw and I am so inconsistent in practicing. This was all... inspiring.

[s-4pphics]

Need more things to write? I gotcha.

Nasty sloppy threesome with Dina n Ellie, give me your worst. GO!!!!

LOOOOOOOL

giving dina her crowns she topping all these bitches ughfhrh that’s my momma like i’ll do anything 4 her

dina #1 tribber🥰🥰 heart eyes

her pussy is fat and it gets wet as fuck <333 n she loves when her clit throbs on urs

u got ur tongue shoved in ellie’s pussy while shes grinding on ur face n dinas holding ur leg up to grind ur pussies together. everytime they make those little squelchy wet noises ellie’s pussy squeezes on ur tongue <3

ellie nuts first cuz ur both so hot. omg like loser🙄. she’s moaning her eyes r watering n dina’s rubbing n slapping her tits while she bounces on ur harder. u play w her ass while she’s cumming bc u can.. it makes her scream a little 🤭

ur holding ellie down by her bruised thighs bc duh ur not done u want more cum <3 n she can’t stop making noise and it’s making u hot

u can’t see cuz her cunts on ur face but you here the wet smacking of their lips while they moan in each others mouths nd it makes u moan in her pussy <3 and she nuts again bc it feels good

when dina’s cumming she fucks herself on u so hard and the fact that u have no choice to take it makes u cum <33

and then she kisses u both n tucks u in🥺

[ooops-i-arted]

I had all week to update Cara so I got anxious about what I needed to do, procrastinated, got anxious about procrastinating, and now I'm doing it all today loooooool.

Trim added to the bottom of the top but it wants to flip up 😭 so it's under a couple heavy books for the afternoon. The original costume looks like the trim was added to the pieces before they were sewn together so now I just feel like a dumbass for not doing it a year ago. I also realized I didn't have any temporary tattoos so I made an arm band like the one Cara wore in S1 E7-8 - just a yard-long strip of black cotton from my stash, hemmed to prevent fraying and with some velcro slapped on. The velcro section will be the first wrapped layer around my arm, so the rest will cover the stitching and the end just tucks into the wrap.

I didn't want to sew a whole new pouch with the goddamn hard to sew fabric from the cosplay but luckily found a small purse in the back of closet that would work as a hip pouch. I unclipped the strap and got new clasps that worked aesthetically for Cara from Joann's, but they were bright chrome so I spray painted them with my trusty Mandalorian-color spray paints I used on Cara's armor pieces and on the amban rifle. It stuck to the cardboard a bit but hey, just call it weathering. I have enough of the trim I used on the crop top to make two loops that will fit the lower belt so the purse can hang off that. I can also reuse them in the future since they're fully detachable from the belt and purse. I just have to make the loops and do a final costume test and I'll be ready for tomorrow.

[kindauglypikachuicon]

Some of my thoughts for Fate/Grand Order’s “GUDAGUDA: Ryouma’s Narrow Escape - The Mystery of the Disappearing Nobbu Head” event

This event was ok tbh lol but three main things caught my eyes (plus Izo’s new outfit of course)

Hooooo boy look at these N.P.C.ssss!!!! Ooh la la!!~ I want them all…..And thanks to my incredible foresight (I watched spoilers from JP server) I know that at least Takasugi will be available for gacha huhu (oh my man sqs are in danger)

Oughhhhhh I hope the babygirls Takechi and Shinbe are gonna be released soon in the next GudaGuda event!!!

(I kinda want that five-star Ryouma CE and maybe a chance for another np of Lady Nobu but I know I need to save up so I’ll refrain…….((I have a feeling I’ll just get a five-star I didn’t even want….))

Below are something extra :3

Nobu with a missing head

Nobu with a new head

Evil Ryouma (he lowkey looked pretty sexy like this loooooool)

Now that I made this post, I found out that this was the event where they first mentioned a person called, “Yasuke” and I wonder if they’ll implement him in the next GudaGuda too…..

[figula]

we went ahead and gave notice of our intention to marry! they saw us both separately - i assume so that we could alert them to any forced marriage issues (they had some posters up about forced marriage) - but they didn't actually ask us if we were being forced, so that was a bit odd, like to do the separate thing but then not ask even a basic question as to safety? idk anyway the bit that made me laugh soooo much was that my ankle suddenly cracked really really loudly halfway through + it shocked me so much i went "oh my GOD" in this stage whisper, in this tiny room, doing this official legal stuff, and ben looked over at me like O_O ??? and omg it was so funny i had to not look at him so i didnt just start cackling. as soon as we left the room ben was like LOOOOOOOL WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!!! and we just laughed all the way out of the building omg. on the way home ben went "i think we're gonna have a fun life together :)" and i got emosh

it was really boring there + we had to be v quiet bc appts were going on. here's a pic of us anyway under the cut. also a white dress i bought the other day - i cant decide if i need to size down or not... give me your thoughts

this is the dress i bought, i actually rly like it (altho not rly with this belt) but it's slightly baggy at the waist (that bulge at the side is fabric not flesh) + i feel like it will annoy me bc i love a cinched waist, however it fits well on my shoulders + i think the next size down might be a bit small up there hmmm

i bought this in a non plus size section + fully thought it would be too small but if anything its a little big. honestly i am warped in the head

[cakesplice]

chERRY HOW DID YOU GET THE TEXT ON THE KOMAEDA ART?? LIKE HOW DID U GET THAT EFFECT WITH THE TEXT🧍‍♀️(vv hot art btw he looks like a whore n I love it btw)

HEHE THANK U CRESSIE !!! 💖 i am here for all ur whoremaeda needs 💃

ur gonna have to tell me which text specifically though cuz i used a bunch of diff effects all over the spread HAHA but i basically drew the illusts in csp and then obliterated that shit on canva LOOOOOOOL graphic designers hate me but i genuinely love canva so much

[eyeswaitingfortuesdaynight]

omniscient reader's viewpoint liveblog day 3 💪 (chs. 7-11: ep. 2 - protagonist)

reading this on the subway train as the author intended. YJH INTRO TIME LET'S GOOOOOOO

the korean government must have scrambled those jets quickly!!!!! too bad it's monster food now

'It was my turn to be a clown.' - it's always your turn to be a clown, kdj

i genuinely don't think anyone else survived the train other than kdj's group and yjh. between culling everyone who made a fuss at first and the difficulty of deciding to take a life and acting on that decision.......1/30-50 probably isn't an unrealisitic number of survivors

lgy is truly the 10yo kdj stand in ........i feel so bad for the kid. i hope kdj can learn to love him as much as sys

i know there's at least two sponsorship selections....possibly a third one after the 7th scenario to account for the new incarnations, and maybe a fourth after the 10th scenario to account for the new incarnations that showed promise later? that makes the most sense to me

WHO WAS YSA'S SECOND POTENTIAL SPONSOR??? aughhhh i wanna knooooow

'I felt uncomfortable and excluded this guy.' - LOOOOOOOL oh god damn that's harsh. i'm sure kdj was nicer about it in the webtoon

does.....does uriel sponsor evil incarnations so she can force them to be nice? that is. so fucking funny. i love her.

the star stream trolling sp by giving him weak modifiers is also hilarious

i gotta say, kdj is great at dropping foreshadowing...takes like 100 chapters for the way of being strong without a constellation hint to come to fruition

if twsa had a fandom, there would 1000% be diehard yjh/lhs shippers by the way kdj describes lhs

it's actually Mino Soft in the novel???? nope. rejected. bad vibes, not as funny. not changing this now

lhs is also a reader......i love him...........also i need to take this into account in the future and contrast him with the other mentioned readers (kdj, ysa, hsy)

'Indeed, Confucianism was still strong in South Korea.' - KDJ AND HIS THOUGHT PROCESS IS INFURIATING AND HEARTBREAKING AUUUUGH. he can't understand why people would want to check up on his parents other than confucianism......

yjh doing his best to recreate the shining is never not funny. does he do this every turn????

i'd be curious to know the percentage of incarantions that survived the 1st scenario without killing a human. 1/100 maybe?

kdj is surprised by yjh's high strength this early...i wonder if that's FORESHADOWING.......

3 or 4 skills per beginner attribute is probably average, judging by lhs' profile and kdj's own attribute to skill ratio

kdj has a good way of describing the scene in as few words as possible (specifically, this description of the broken bridge). broad brushstrokes, as it were. i need to remember that.

'I was a bit surprised.' - also noting that kdj has started minimizing the description of his own emotions....he's probably feeling less overall tbh, with the 4th wall

...i guess demonic heads get reformed since i distinctly remember kdj describing knw's corpse as 'just a torso' earlier in this episode. pretty sure that was reflected in the webtoon too

'This couldn't be the exclusive skill of Han Myungoh, who had a big belly.' - this guy is as skinny as a rake in the webtoon WHERE IS HIS BELLYYYY

kdj is controlling his breathing again....but also telling himself to calm down .........it really is a habit

it took less than 5 minutes for kdj to get epically betrayed and abandoned lol

bookmark!!!! i wonder what the max level of understanding is.....

'Despite him being a hated figure, I couldn't help feeling strange emotions.' - 👀👀👀👀 interesting kdj states this when knw's last words were 'Don't want to die'

yjh just destroying zombies barehanded is. so great.

'The man destroyed all the demonic people threatening me and appeared in front of me. An overwhelming force without any weapons. He beat the demonic people with only two fists.' - YJH LITERALLY DESTROYED ALL THE ZOMBIES ON THE BRIDGE BAREHANDED I'M SIMPING SO HARD *swoons*

'His personality had worn out after going through regression three times. His principles were cut away in order to maintain his sense of self. The current Yoo Joonghyuk would never hesitate for the sake of his purpose.' - see, this is a much more nuanced and empathetic description than 'lost his humanity' in the webtoon translation. like killing people for your own purposes is not just as human a thing to do as choosing to save other people. it always struck me as a particularly harsh way to word yjh's personality change, esp. when yjh is kdj's blorbo and kdj knows how yjh got to this point.....i think the webtoon in general tries to flatten kdj's low and high points to make him more plateable for a wider audience, which i noticed when comparing scenes side by side for my fic. which is exactly why i prefer reading the source material of stories over any adaptation - things get lost in the medium translation even with the best adaptations.

kdj specifically calls yjh a professional gamer. which is good because i literally can't see yjh streaming to any audience pre-scenarios except maybe for contract-mandated team streams. he can't perform on command and doesn't give a shit about entertaining anyone except maybe his family. bad karoke aside lol

'I liked, hated, grumbled, and cheered Yoo Joonghyuk on. That's why I stuck with Yoo Joonghyuk for over 3,000 chapters.' - translation of this line in the webtoon is a bit more flowery, but i like this barebones description. it's charming how utiltarian kdj is with everything he describes, truly a reader to the core

'Yet Kim Namwoon died and the others survived.' - huh. i guess yjh saw them through the window....but shouldn't they have seen him through the window when he was kicking down the door? maybe he shattered the window after his first kick and made it hard to see through, especially if the window has wire mesh

'I started telling the story. I told the story using as much concise, short, and accurate vocabulary as possible.' - yup, that's how kdj tells stories. at least he's honest about this.

'His eyes changed and memories that seemed to belong to Yoo Joonghyuk crossed my mind.' - kdj get images along with people's thoughts if they're remembering something??? that's fascinating. tho it would be absolutely hilarious if this was a mousou telepathy situation (fic idea??)

'Due to the impact of Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint, I could feel Yoo Joonghyuk's mental pain and suffering.' - kdj gets feelings too ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. and yjh is feeling bad about killing everyone in his car even on his 3rd turn AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

'I have never seen a protagonist as careful as Yoo Joonghyuk.' - i'm simping too, kdj

augh reminder to myself to backtrack in proofreader and standardize the lie detection messages - the epub isn't consistent with the format of them. gonna have to check if the webtoon is consistent or not

like how kdj never says he's a seer and lets yjh completely misunderstand. peak trickster behaviour

yjh.... bringing himself to allow another seer to be his companion after the 2nd scenario.........repeating the word in his head...................i'm tearing up, i'm not even kidding rn

'Now Yoo Joonghyuk's face was as difficult as a philosophy book with no commentary written.' - i see kdj failed philosophy, just like me

'Yoo Joonghyuk was smiling brightly like something made him happy. Son of a bitch.' - W E E P I N G YJH IS HAPPY HE HAS A COMPANION THAT UNDERSTANDS HIM AND CAN HELP HIM i'm i'm 😭😭😭😭😭

'…Damn, I have to use that method after all.' - such a good cliffhanger ahhhhhh

[francebaby]

oughhh yeah it was a good idea to not schedule a driving lesson today, im groggy, im achey (there are two animals inside me; one who knows i need new work shoes and one who wants to save money even though shoes are important--), and im enjoying my time sitting here relaxing

i sure was not built for 6 days of rolling around with a 30 pound case, i can't believe some of my coworkers do this for weeks in a row with little to no day offs, AND with a lot more equipment than i have

i know we only do this for like a month or two, but dang. and they all have other jobs too

once again, i shouldve started working out before the season started (my hiking club doesn't count because i dont really let us do intense hikes (i always say no to mission peak LOOOOOOOL im probably the only casual hiker in the bay area who hasnt done mission peak yet) and we only hike every other week)

i got sunburnt on my scalp last weekend (i brought a hat with me but i didnt want to wear it when i was working on stage in front of hundreds of people, which i thought would be ok cuz i was wearing the hat at all other times but alas.). i even remembered to sunscreen the tips of my ears and the backs of my hands but forgot about the tippy top of my head

i got a funny glasses tan which makes the tip of my nose look dirty (but i think im the only person who notices that cuz i saw it when i took my glasses off to wash me face and my glasses never come off otherwise, so its ok.)

might put off buying shoes once again, but to pay for an eye exam so i can buy some new glasses. uninsured. and sunglasses. i do nothing but squint when im outside and its starting to give me a headache. and also it makes me look angry. or well. something.

[wild-karrde]

Almost caught up, almost caught up, I will be DEVASTATED when I've run out of track here, but ALMOST CAUGHT UP.

YES. LOVE A GOOD QUICHE. DO THE THING, KAZI.

She was interested in Wolffe.  She was lonely and wanted a friend. She thought Wolffe might be interested in her. She was dramatizing her life and looking into nonexistent corollaries.  She wanted to be with Wolffe. Wolffe was a man she respected and trusted, and she was deluding herself into believing he wanted her.

Kazi, girl, I once again must reiterate, YOU HAVE IT BAD.

And yet she yearned for it. She yearned for the intimacy of trust and emotional connection. She yearned for the vulnerability of private conversations, lingering looks, and quiet moments. She yearned for soft touches and held hands and comfort beneath sheets.  She yearned for Wolffe in a way she didn’t deserve, and it scared her too, too much.

God, I get this. All of it. The wanting someone to share life with and to be safe with and to confide in, to be known by someone like that. And the feeling that YOU DON'T DESERVE IT WHEN YOU FIND IT. OOOOOOF.

Alright, is Fehr about to get a character moment that makes me like her more? It CERTAINLY seems that way.

“The clones made demands during negotiations.”

STARING.

“One of the clones’ demands was to release you from your work for the network.”

AHHHHH THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT.

The beginnings of rebellions were always simple, numbered with people willing to make immediate sacrifice for the long term. But as weeks turned into months, and months turned into years, one thing became clear: You couldn’t win through morals and ethics. 

I am nodding my head enthusiastically as this is also a theme that gets used in my fics. You are so right here. They always bloom with the best of intentions, but at some point, someone realizes the need to get in the mud and fight dirty. YES. JUST YES.

Also, I do really love Fehr talking through how her mindset has changed and warning Kazi. It makes her more human, and makes it clear there's a larger threat to Kazi, and how that unnerves her. This is JUST SO GOOD, Alli. This whole conversation is fantastic.

The men started for the house and, hastily, Kazi turned her attention to folding an already folded-blanket.

LOOOOOOOL

AND THEY'RE PLANTING THE SEEDS. THE METAPHOOOOORRR.

“You’re intelligent, Ennari. You’re a brilliant analyst.” Wolffe ran his tongue along his teeth. “And yet you’re fucking oblivious”—he shook his head—“Never mind.”

Oh God DAMMIT. (he's not wrong)

“I don’t want to pretend anymore.” Tentatively, he lifted a hand to her face, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “I don’t want to pretend I’m not interested in you.”

*screeching Karrde sounds in the distance*

“Kazi.” He said her name like it was a question and an answer; he said it in such a soft, intimate way she wanted to run far, far away. 

MARBLES ARE LOST. FORGOTTEN. NONEXISTENT.

THE KISS??

THE KISS.

IT'S EVERYTHING. IT'S PERFECT. IT'S SOFT. IT'S HOT. IT'S FILLED WITH PROMISE AND EXCITEMENT AND NEED AND JUST BRAIN IS EXPLODING PLEASE STAND BY.

WAIT. WUT. WHAT. NO. FUCK OFF. FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK.

COCK BLOCKED BY A FOOKIN' STAR DESTROYER.

ALLI HOW DARE YOU (affectionately). YOU WILL BE HEARING FROM MY LAWYER (affectionately).

I Yearn, and so I Fear - Chapter XVI

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General Summary. Nearly a year since the Galactic Empire’s rise to power, Kazi Ennari is trying to survive. But her routine is interrupted—and life upended—when she’s forced to cohabitate with former Imperial soldiers. Clone soldiers. 

Pairing. Commander Wolffe x female!OC

General Warnings. Canon-typical violence and assault, familial struggles, terminal disease, bigotry, explicit sexual content, death. This story deals with heavy content. If you’re easily triggered, please do not read. For a more comprehensive list of tags, click here.

Fic Rating. E (explicit)/18+/Minors DNI.

Chapter Word Count. 5.1K

Beta. @starstofillmydream

20 Yelona

Like most people, Kazi maintained certain self-destructive tendencies that, when willfully ignored, could and would fuck her over. 

In particular, her tendency to avoid a problem created an unhealthy handling of her emotions.

So, it wasn’t a surprise when her early-morning attempt to prepare quiche went awry. 

Originally, when she first prepared the dish for the men a month ago, it was her way to show her appreciation for their respectful cohabitation. A simple meal for them to take on their mission.

Eventually, though, her childhood interest renewed. Preparing the traditional dish reminded her of chilly mornings at the harbor. 

Sitting on a barrel while the ships prepared for their journeys, she listened to the sailors tell their tales of oceanic beasts and tumultuous storms. She snacked on her father’s leftover quiche, and when the ships were secured, she stood on the dock watching her father’s ship disappear on the horizon, eager for new stories upon his return. 

Unfortunately, this morning’s quiche preparation couldn’t distract her from her thoughts. Her emotions were scattered, and when she tried to pinpoint one, a conflicting one arose.

She was interested in Wolffe. 

She was lonely and wanted a friend.

She thought Wolffe might be interested in her.

She was dramatizing her life and looking into nonexistent corollaries. 

She wanted to be with Wolffe.

Wolffe was a man she respected and trusted, and she was deluding herself into believing he wanted her.

Gritting her teeth, Kazi glared at the lump of dough she was kneading. It was too floury. Too thick and coarse.

With a defeated sigh, she tossed the inedible batch, cleaned the counters and dishes, and washed her hands. Movement outside the sunroom’s windows—both Wolffe and Fox were outside when she returned from her swim, the former tending to the garden while the latter sanded the tree trunk he fell weeks ago—convinced her to leave the house and skip another awkward morning with Wolffe.

The past six days Kazi tried to act normal. Pretended her revelation lacked depth. Her attempts to remain casual and unbothered came across as aloof and apathetic. 

Ever observant, Wolffe commented on her unusual behavior yesterday morning. Flustered by his shrewd gaze and her tiny, persistent tug of yearning she tried and failed to snip away, she told him to mind his own business and then left. They hadn’t been alone since, though she had felt the heat of his gaze on her face most of dinner last night.

The drive to Hollow’s Town blurred in a tunnel of green and lightening skies. Typically, Kazi would appreciate the watery streaks of orange and the tendrils of a blooming sun, but her mind was too focused elsewhere. Namely, on the fear choking her. 

As a child, her mother told her stories about shooting stars. The stories were all the same: When you wished upon a star, your wish would come true. It might take months, perhaps decades, but it would come true. 

Over the years, her wish remained the same. A wish for romantic companionship. It was a secret she shared with dying stars, and dying stars only. Daria used to tease her for her secrecy, but she didn’t care. Her wish was special.

As she matured, though, Kazi realized the foolishness of her wish. 

Solitude couldn’t hurt her. 

Companionship could ruin her.    

Because it would never last. 

And yet she yearned for it. She yearned for the intimacy of trust and emotional connection. She yearned for the vulnerability of private conversations, lingering looks, and quiet moments. She yearned for soft touches and held hands and comfort beneath sheets. 

She yearned for Wolffe in a way she didn’t deserve, and it scared her too, too much.

“Kazi?”

The voice startled her from both her spinning thoughts and aimless wandering and, straightening, she nodded at Fehr. The older woman was dressed in loose trousers and a long-sleeve work shirt, her hair braided in an elaborate crown atop her head. She appeared ready for a long day at her farm. But it was the knowing look in her sharp gaze—the scrutinous intrigue belying her insouciant expression—that disconcerted Kazi. 

“Early morning?” 

“Something like that,” Kazi said, surveying her current location and noting her position on the outskirts of the Square. 

Fehr glanced at the chrono on her wrist. “You can join me for breakfast.” 

Her unapologetic tone brokered no room for argument, and Kazi bit the inside of her cheek, silently berating herself for not being mindful of her surroundings. She exhaled a mirthless breath and followed her fellow rebel. 

Fifteen minutes later and they were sitting outside a local café, the sole eatery open this early in the morning. A basket of cinnamon bread and mugs of steaming chocolate mush littered their cozy table. Kazi let her gaze wander from Fehr to the distant sky. 

Since the Square sat on a hill, it provided a stunning display of Eluca’s orange sunrise, the clouds flickering flames of a fire. The top of the sun, dark yellow and demanding attention, had breached the horizon. 

Sipping from her drink, Kazi observed the few patrons of the morning. A weathered man stood beside his flower stall, a girl—most likely his granddaughter—was cutting the stalks of the bouquets she was preparing. Kazi returned her attention to Fehr. 

Months had passed since she last connected with Fehr or any of the rebels, outside of Carinthia. She hadn’t minded the distance and lack of communication. She still harbored a grudge against Fehr’s political maneuvering. 

Setting aside her mug, she breached the silence. “Is the network in need of something from me?” 

“No.” Fehr plopped a piece of cinnamon bread into her mouth, chewing pensively. “We can speak together outside of the network. I hope you’re aware of that.” 

Kazi lifted an eyebrow. “The network is the only thing that matters to you.”

“Your assessment is more accurate for Bash.” Fehr paused. “Possibly Carinthia.”

“But not you?” 

Fehr eyed her warily. “You think poorly of me, Kazi, and I don’t blame you. I took advantage of your circumstances and used them to benefit the network’s mission. I wouldn’t trust myself either.”

The honesty in her voice surprised Kazi and she studied Fehr closer. Assessed the wrinkles deepening her eyes and the heaviness dulling her silver eyes. 

“When I met you, I saw a young woman burdened by the Empire,” Fehr said quietly. “Your skills, while not truly exceptional in the grander scheme of the network, were good enough for us to use. I thought you would be enraged, and I wanted to channel your rage to the detriment of the Empire. I was wrong.”

Kazi clenched her mug. “What do you mean you were wrong?”

“You lacked the rage I wanted—”

“I was angry at the Empire. I still am,” she interrupted. Her left hand started to tremble and she fisted it in her lap. “Don’t think for one minute that I wasn’t affected by the Empire’s invasion of my planet—”

“You were upset, but you were too distracted by other things.” Fehr stared at her pointedly and Kazi pursed her lips. “I thought you would jump at the opportunity to infiltrate the Empire and secure the intel we needed. I thought you could become an essential spy. But you lacked the desire to do so, and I realized, belatedly, my analysis of your character was inaccurate.”

A waiter joined them on the patio, readjusting the floral vines decorating the front of the café. Kazi took the moment of silence to neutralize her expression and collect her thoughts. She hadn’t known the depth of Fehr’s planning—the expectations. Knowing the network wanted to hone her anger to their benefit unsettled her. 

The moment the waiter returned inside, Fehr leaned across the table. “The network has one goal: to defeat the Empire.”

“I’m aware,” Kazi deadpanned.

“You’re not aware of it all.” Fehr’s voice was sharp, full of warning. “Command is willing to do whatever is necessary to achieve their goal. They’re not bound by morals and ethics. They’re willing to damn themselves for their cause.”

It wasn’t news to Kazi, and yet the seriousness lining Fehr’s features—the way her eyes darted around the café, as if she feared someone was listening or watching—sent a shiver of unease down her spine. Surreptitiously, she reconsidered their surroundings, noting each person present.  

“Command believes in playing by the Empire’s rules,” Fehr said, “and they will sacrifice anyone.”

Disregarding the erratic falter of her heart, Kazi lounged back in her chair, forcing herself to appear detached. Unflappable. “Are you threatening me?”

“I’m warning you.” Fehr glanced at the street, her lips pressing together. “Don’t upset Command.”

“I wasn’t planning on it.”

“What about the clones?”

Her eyes narrowed. “What of them?”

Fehr started to speak and then paused, her gaze sweeping across Kazi’s face. “The clones made demands during negotiations.”

“I was there.” 

“We renewed negotiations a month and a half ago. Bash, Carinthia, and me, along with the three commanders.”

She blinked her bewilderment. “Why?”

“They had certain demands and we felt you weren’t needed.” The woman seemed unsurprised by Kazi’s irritation, finishing her drink with an uncaring grace. She tilted her head to the side. “I wasn’t aware you had grown so close to them.”

Kazi chuckled bitterly. “Cohabitation will do that to people.”

“One of the clones’ demands was to release you from your work for the network.” Kazi dug her fingernails into her thigh, trying hard to hide her shock. It must not have worked because Fehr offered her a small, tired smile. “Bash struck it down but the clones were persistent. We came to an agreement: The work we requested of you would be vetted and approved by the clones first.”

Looking away, toward the black panther statue prowling the Square’s fountain, Kazi mulled the news, clamping down on her annoyance. Of course Wolffe would interfere without telling her. Of course he would ignore her requests to stay out of her business. 

“This angered Command,” Kazi assumed.

“Command doesn’t know the entirety of the story.” At her nonplussed frown, Fehr released a heavy sigh. “The network’s most recent actions have…bothered me.”

“Is that so?” She ran a finger along the side of her mug. “Have you realized they’ll sacrifice you for their cause? That they’ll do it without even hesitating?”

“I joined the network out of a self-righteous desire to save the galaxy,” Fehr said. “A year ago, the network was small and confined, dedicated to undermining the Empire. But we had morals—we had lines we wouldn’t cross.”

Kazi nodded in understanding. The beginnings of rebellions were always simple, numbered with people willing to make immediate sacrifice for the long term. But as weeks turned into months, and months turned into years, one thing became clear: You couldn’t win through morals and ethics. 

Most people never realized the true cost of rebellion. The cost of yourself. Because war—rebellion—required apathetic decision-making and a willingness to set aside personal ethics for a greater good. 

“I saw people hurting,” Fehr said. “And I was willing to do what was necessary to undermine the Empire. I didn’t question the actions of the new leadership.” She searched the Square once more and then lowered her voice to a whisper. “There are fanatics in the network. Bash is one of them. I will do what I can do to protect you and your family, but don’t cause trouble, Kazi, and tell the clones to lay low.”

The sheer vehemence in Fehr’s tone, her constant vigilance, unnerved Kazi. Unease slithered beneath her skin and she flattened her hands beneath her thighs to mask their shaking. “Is Bash going to reveal the men?”

“Their intel is too good to lose.” Fehr wrapped the remaining piece of cinnamon bread in a napkin. “So long as they remain necessary, they’re safe.”

All this time and Kazi hadn’t considered the precarity of the men’s situation with the network. And now, knowing Wolffe intervened—knowing the men were painting targets on their backs because of her—was both frustrating and disquieting. The network was her problem. Not theirs.

“Commander Wolffe seems…protective.” The comment drew her from her musings and Kazi tensed, throwing Fehr a bland look. Shrewd assessment narrowed the older woman’s gaze. “How are you getting along?”

“Fine,” Kazi remarked.

Fehr studied her for a long, quiet moment, her expression akin to sympathy. The woman chuckled and pushed herself to her feet, setting a handful of credits atop the table. 

“Solitude is a lovely thing,” Fehr said conversationally. “And more people should appreciate its beauty.” She levelled Kazi with a hard look. “Solitude feels safe and empowering. But spend too much time alone, and you’ll have to ask yourself: Is your solitude freeing, or is it lonely?”  

Frowning, Kazi eyed the woman before her.

Fehr smiled tightly. “I never opened myself to the possibility of being vulnerable with someone. Of loving someone. And I regret being so afraid.” 

Half an hour later, still seated alone at the bustling café’s table, Kazi searched the sunrise for an answer to a question she refused to ask herself. 

I regret being so afraid.

The phrase whispered in her ear like a haunting ghost. She hated the whisper; hated the hopelessness in the words; hated her understanding.

Kazi watched the arcing sun for a long time. 

“I can read to you.” The offer was out of her mouth before Kazi could consider its merit, and she winced, biting the inside of her cheek to mask her embarrassment.

Cuddling the stuffed animal Cody gifted her a week ago, Neyti looked up from the half-open book on her lap, surprise furrowing her eyebrows. 

It was later than usual, far past Neyti’s bedtime. But, since the men spent the late evening outside indulging in an expensive bourbon Fox had stolen from the last base they infiltrated, Kazi decided to make the night fun for Neyti, too. 

Together, she, Neyti, and Daria baked a cherry pie, and they enjoyed it while watching a holofilm Neyti chose. A popular film about a fox and a hound. One of Kazi’s favorites. 

Grinning, Neyti scooted to the edge of her bed and patted the vacated seat. Kazi chuckled her relief, settling into the pillows.

“Where do we start?” she asked. Neyti flipped the pages to the latter half of the book, and Kazi smiled, starting on the new story. “Once upon a time there was a princess.”

Five minutes later and Neyti was deep asleep, her stuffed whale cocooned between her arms. 

A bookmark placed for tomorrow night, Kazi pressed a light kiss to Neyti’s forehead, turned off the lights, and returned downstairs. 

The front door’s lock was checked. The living room and kitchen’s windows’ curtains were closed. The couch blanket was folded. Pillows were fluffed. From an open window in the sunroom, the hum of nocturnal bugs thrummed, and as Kazi started to pull the curtains together, she paused. 

The men were sparring. 

Shirtless, sweat slicking their skin beneath the moons’ light, Wolffe and Fox circled one another. The former sported a cut to his lip and the latter a bluing bruise on his cheek. Fox said something—a taunt based on Cody and Nova’s laughter—and Wolffe grinned, his teeth bloody. A sharp jab earned a harsh huff from Fox. 

Kazi shook her head, but she didn’t look away.

Chests heaving, the two men exchanged punches. A jab at Fox’s ribs turned into a punch at Wolffe’s stomach.

Blood trickled down Wolffe’s chin and he spat a wad of it into the ferns. It was a feint. And Fox fell for it. Wolffe threw him to the ground. Cody called the match.     

The men started for the house and, hastily, Kazi turned her attention to folding an already folded-blanket. The back door swung open. Wolffe and Fox moved to the partition separating the sunroom and living area. They both paused, standing together, their murmurs quiet. An effective barrier to her escape. 

Sighing her exasperation, Kazi straightened Wolffe’s puzzle, mindful of his color-coordinated piece groupings. Cody and Nova trudged into the house, bid her goodnight, and left. 

The sunroom was tidy—someone had recently cleaned, and it wasn’t her, which was confusing—and she glanced at Wolffe and Fox. Either noticing her stare or finished with their conversation, they broke apart. Fox clapped Wolffe on the shoulder, winked at Kazi, and then followed his two other brothers.

Kazi and Wolffe were alone. 

It wasn’t a novel situation; they spent lots of time alone, considering their morning routines overlapped. But something about tonight—something about the calculation in Wolffe’s gaze—made her well aware of their aloneness. 

Wolffe approached her, the top clasps of his shirt unfastened and his sleeves carelessly rolled to his elbows. His lip was slightly swollen; a hint of blood darkened the corner of his mouth. Nighttime shadows complemented his appearance, emphasizing the strength of his jaw and the black of his hair, caressing the veins of his forearms and the muscles in his neck. 

“You’ve been avoiding me,” Wolffe said. 

The warmth of his voice told her he was teasing, and a smile tugged at her mouth, the urge more common these days. She rubbed her arm, awkwardly trying to scrub away the truth. The truth that he made her smile.

“I haven’t planted the seeds you gave me.” She angled her chin to the packet sitting on the game table beside his puzzle. The packet she had brought downstairs before the holofilm. “I wasn’t sure if they had specific instructions, and I didn’t want—”

“I can show you.” Wolffe closed the distance between them. The beginning of a smirk revealed itself. “I’ll go slow for you.”

“How magnanimous.” She rolled her eyes to hide her amusement. 

Apparently Wolffe had been waiting for her request because he was quick to retrieve a large black pot from the garage. A pot he purchased weeks ago. It was large enough to house a lissome tree, and heavy enough he grunted from exertion as he set it beside a window. 

Kazi stood back, shifting between her feet, wanting to help but not wanting to get in his way. Wolffe left a second time and returned with a nine-kilogram bag. 

“It protects against disease,” he said, noticing her subtle attempt to read the fertilizer’s package. “This plant isn’t native. And it struggles to survive outside its home planet. The fertilizer should strengthen it.”

Bemused by the plant’s history, Kazi considered the tiny seeds in her palm. “What is it?” 

Wolffe ignored her question, and she decided not to press him, sprinkling the seeds into the soil. Together, they buried the seeds. The soil was cool to her hands, drier than Eluca’s natural soil and it smelt familiar—

A flash of lightning splintered the black sky. Thunder roared, a lulling echo across the jungle’s hills. 

Chilled dirt clumped her palms and Kazi sat back on her haunches, wiping her hands clean with a rag Wolffe tossed her. She watched him clean his own hands. “When were you going to tell me about your deal with the network?”

His shoulders grew rigid; annoyance clenched in his jaw. Wary eyes met hers. “Who told you?”

“That was dangerous,” she said, bypassing his question. “You now have targets on your backs—”

“It’s not your concern.” Wolffe continued to wipe his hands on the dirty rag. “We knew the risks. The reward outweighed them.”

“Why would you do that? Why would you interfere?” She frowned at him. “You don’t owe us anything. You shouldn’t risk your lives for us.”

Slowly, Wolffe folded the rag and set it atop the table, levelling the full weight of his gaze on her. His expression was unapologetic. Unflinching. “Why do you think I did it?”

“I don’t know.” She curled her fingers into the brim of the pot, trying to steady the increasing beat of her heart. She didn’t want to assume things—she refused to assume things. “I don’t…”

“You’re intelligent, Ennari. You’re a brilliant analyst.” Wolffe ran his tongue along his teeth. “And yet you’re fucking oblivious”—he shook his head—“Never mind.”

Sighing, he raked a hand through his hair and pushed himself to his feet, leaving her alone. The sound of the kitchen sink drifted to the sunroom.

Kazi moved to the windows. Loosening her braids and slipping the ties into a pocket, she watched the electric storm outside. Flashes of lightning burst; the clouds they hid behind glowed eerily. 

It seemed nature roiled with its emotions. Kazi could relate. 

Soft footfalls alerted her to Wolffe’s return. 

The silence between them hesitated, teetering with unspoken confessions. 

Wolffe stood close enough their arms brushed. The back of his hand grazed hers.

“We had storms like this. On Kamino,” he said quietly. “When I was young, I thought the waves would swallow our building and we’d drown. I woke up early every morning to practice my swimming in case it happened.”

“Always so prepared,” she murmured.

“I like to be.” He rolled his shoulders back. “I don’t like to enter a situation without knowing my advantages and my opponent’s strengths. I assess the complications and calculate the risk and reward. Only then do I make a decision.”

Another flicker of lightning seared the sky but her eyes remained on Wolffe.    

“I don’t want to pretend anymore.” Tentatively, he lifted a hand to her face, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “I don’t want to pretend I’m not interested in you.”

Her hands started to tremble.  

“I want to try things,” he said.  

His tone was resolute in his decision, but she detected a modicum of vulnerability. A hint of fear.

Cottony panic suffocated her lungs. 

Yearning, soft as an embrace yet insistent as a kiss, urged her forward. 

But she couldn’t move. 

Such cold, teeth-aching fear swallowed her, a creature of dark pits latched onto her ankle and dragging her far, far below. She looked away, out the window at the harshening lightning.

Because she couldn’t bear the intensity of his gaze. The unspoken desires. The gentle promises. 

“Look at me.”

Her heart cowered in her chest and she shook her head. She wasn’t meant for the softness in his voice, the longing in his eyes. 

She was meant to be alone. Solitude couldn’t hurt her. 

Solitude would never abandon her.

“Look at me.”

His tone was harder yet still gentle, like a steadying hand on an elbow. No longer a request, it was a command. An order. 

But to look him in the eye would quiet her doubts and unleash the yearning she was struggling to withhold. It was escaping, a rope burning her palms as the control of her head gave way to the want of her heart.

She was scared. She was so fucking scared.

“Kazi.” He said her name like it was a question and an answer; he said it in such a soft, intimate way she wanted to run far, far away. 

Two fingers tilted her chin back and forced her to meet his gaze. His thumb slid along her jaw and she shivered.

“You’re overthinking things,” Wolffe said calmly. He cupped her face, his thumb grazing her cheekbone. The expression on his face was steady. An anchor for the worst of a storm. “Trust me with this.”

“I don’t know how to,” she whispered.

“I know.” Softly, a hand palmed her waist and Wolffe lowered his face to hers. “But I’ve got you.”

“You don’t want this.”

He released a hoarse scoff. “You have no idea what I want.”

Their lips brushed, the barest of a grazing, and Kazi angled her head back, wanting more yet withholding herself. Wolffe paused. A mere hairsbreadth separated their faces, and she leaned forward, just enough their lips touched, her lashes fluttering as she sighed. 

An unspoken permission; an unspoken request. 

Wolffe moved, his mouth skimming hers. He pulled back a fraction. Their eyes met, and he closed the distance, seeking her, his upper lip embracing her cupid’s bow. 

He was soft, chaste in his intent. 

Warmth flushed her cheeks, honeyed and thick, and, gods, she wanted more. Needed more. She reached for his bicep, squeezing him, feeling the sheer corporeality of him. His muscles tensed beneath her touch, and Wolffe gripped her waist harder, his fingers slipping beneath her sweater. They were coarse against the skin of her lower back, exploring her spine, touching and grasping and desperate. 

Desire quivered through her body and she snagged his belt. Pulled him closer. Pulled him flush to her body.

Wolffe released a low groan that had her nipples tingling. The restraint he exercised—the control of his kiss, the careful patience in his touches—snapped. He kissed her harder, and Kazi clung to the back of his neck, silently begging for him to stay. To not let go. To taste her and pleasure her and know her.

The hand on her cheek drifted beneath her jaw, hooking. Gentle possessiveness flexed in his fingers. Wolffe teased the seam of her mouth, and she parted her lips, his tongue brushing hers, light and cautious, a playful plea to indulge. So she did, flicking the tip of her tongue to his. 

At her gasp for air, Wolffe moved lower, kissing beneath her jaw, trailing light touches down her neck while guiding her backwards. Her back hit the windows and she tilted her head back, sighing at the ardent press of his mouth to her throat. He reached her collarbone and sucked on her skin, sucked and bit. 

Heat thrummed in her blood; her breasts were heavy, tight with need. She played with the soft curls at the nape of his neck, shuddering and gasping as Wolffe sucked on the joint between her neck and shoulder. Desperation groaned against her skin and Wolffe pressed her fully against the window, the hand on her neck trembling. 

Their breaths were heavy when Wolffe leaned back, just enough to stare her in the eye. Darkened desire, near feral in its intent, contrasted the gentle brush of his thumb beneath her jaw. 

Wolffe kissed her again. Slower, deeper. She could feel him smiling against her lips, and her own smile answered in return.

With each of his kisses, with each curious, slow stroke of their tongues, Kazi wanted more. She wanted to feel him—to feel his skin against hers, to feel the shiver in his muscles as she touched him, to feel the heat of his body consuming her. She wanted his naked body pressed to hers, his arms around her and his legs entangled with hers until their bodies were inseparable. 

She wanted all of him, and it was so, so wrong of her. 

Nestling a palm between the unbuttoned clasps of his shirt, Kazi flattened her hand to Wolffe’s chest. Heated skin licked at her fingers. The rapid beat of his heart kissed her palm.

Even though the touch was minimal, Wolffe moaned a ragged “Fuck.” 

The rasp of his voice was hoarse and he ground his hips into her stomach. He was hard, and the feel of him—the reminder of what they were doing—made her pull away. Wolffe lowered his gaze to the spot where he was grinding against her. His breaths were uneven, and he slotted a thigh between her legs, pressed it against her—

“Oh.” A jolt of pleasure, sharp and acute, ached between her legs and Kazi smacked the back of her head against the window. 

“Ah, fuck.” Wolffe moved his thigh against her, his eyes half-hooded. “I’ve wanted—”

He cut himself off and kissed her. Kissed her with such need she was lost in him. Lost to his touches and unspoken demands for her attention. 

The steady pressure of his thigh rubbed her harder. She moaned against his mouth, rolling her hips against him, seeking the relief he was providing. Uncontrollable thrusts rolled into her stomach and she slid her hand between their bodies, squeezing his cock. 

“Fuck,” Wolffe hissed, jerking into her palm. 

She watched him, watched the bob in his throat and the way his lashes fluttered, as she squeezed him harder. His groan, strained and pained, made her smile. 

Distantly, she wondered if she got him off now, maybe he wouldn’t want to have sex. Maybe this would be enough for him, and then tomorrow, when she was thinking clearer, she could figure out what the fuck she was doing. Because the thought of sex—

Wolffe grabbed her wrist, pulling her away from his cock. She frowned at him.

“Will you…” He searched her face, swallowing. His gaze dropped to her mouth and he cleared his throat, inhaling a harsh breath. A subtle guardedness sharpened his eyes. “Will you regret this tomorrow?”

“No,” she said. And it was the truth—she could never regret him. “Will you?”

A small, sad smile curved his mouth.

“Never,” he murmured. “Never, Kazi.”

He pressed his forehead against hers, his hands clinging to her waist like he feared she might try to run. 

It was late and she was tired and she wasn’t thinking, but she wanted him because it was only him she trusted; and she was so desperate for him to see her and choose her; and she needed to know that maybe she wasn’t so unlovable. That maybe this man she yearned for perhaps yearned a little for her too. 

So she closed her eyes and, just for this moment, allowed herself to rest in the secure warmth of his presence, her hand still flattened to his chest. The beat of his heart caressed her palm, like the echo of a promise to his words. 

Soon, though, Wolffe tensed beneath her hands, pulling his forehead from hers. He looked over his shoulder, his head cocked to the side, and then he straightened. A muscle flexed in his jaw and he glanced her over, adjusting her shirt, flattening a few pieces of her hair. 

Understanding his intent, she buttoned his shirt. He hastily adjusted himself. They stepped apart just as Cody stalked into the room. Fox and Nova followed, the former glancing between her and Wolffe, suspicion furrowing his brows.

Tension radiated from the three men as palpable as Eluca’s humidity. Clenched jaws. Squared shoulders. Narrowed eyes. 

Their unease made Kazi stiffen; her stomach coiled with apprehension. 

“What happened,” Wolffe demanded.

“Just received an alert from Rex.” Disappointment hardened Cody’s voice and he nodded at the window. “See for yourself.”

Fisting her hands to hide their trembling, Kazi looked outside. Her heart stumbled to a halt. 

For outside, bracketed by brilliant flashes of lightning, hung a Star Destroyer.

The Empire had arrived.

Masterlist | Chapter 15 | Chapter 17

A/N: I will be taking the next two weeks off to allow myself some time to relax between chapter postings. Thank you for understanding. PS: We're halfway through this story!

Next chapter release – May 9th   

Tag: @ulchabhangorm

[britneyshakespeare]

i just have to say it. in my head by jason derulo is one of those songs a kid can hear on the radio constantly, for years, not think of it as anything but a regular love song. but then they grow up and realize. my god. this was never about anything OTHER than sex and it’s VERY obvious. one day a generation of children will have this realization about levitating by dua lipa.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hello Steph! Is there any way to organise the fics one bookmarks into 'shelves' or groups on ao3? Like, favourites, long fics, aus etc. so it's easier to navigate and I don't need to go trhough my entire list of bookmarks whenever I feel like a certain type of fic but not any specific fic?

Hey Nonny!

Ahhh, I'm not 100% on this aspect since I'm terrified of fucking up, but the way I do it is make sure I add all my own tags to fics, and then when I'm looking for a specific genre, I use the filters feature. I THINK you can make collections and stuff, but I believe that's the one that messes up stuff for the authors.

OR you can be like me and obsessively file fics offline and maintain a fic rec blog LOOOOOOOL

Good lord, I don't wish that on anyone, hahah!

Seriously though, I THINK there is a way, but I'm an oldie who is used to doing things the most complicated way possible, hahah.

If anyone knows, please do share with us :)