#and like. of course i can believe that's how some women were especially given their religious inclinations

[autolenaphilia]

I’ve talked in a post years before about how male/female socialization is a myth, especially if you argue transfems are “male socialized.” But I’ve read and learned since then, so let’s have another go at it.

Of course what I must recognize is that claims that transfems are male socialized are not good faith arguments, it’s a transmisogynistic canard wielded as a cudgel against transfems. What it is is an accusation that transfems are lacking in the feminine virtues, it’s the old accusation that queer women are too mannish to be proper women. Most often “male socialization” is a claim that we are not demure and submissive enough. It’s a club that taken out whenever we dare disagree with our betters, tme people, or dare assert ourselves in any way. It’s then said that we are “talking over people”, “taking up too much space” or even have “male energy.” This is ubiquitous even in supposedly transfem-inclusive spaces. Even cis women are often falsely perceived as talking too much, due to misogynistic biases, and transmisogynistic biases make this effect even worse for transfems.

But let’s humor the argument for awhile, because I’ve seen transfems internalize the transmisogyny of “male socialization.” And socialization is a real sociological concept, which can be use to lend respectability to the claim that transfems are male socialized.

However actually looking at how socialization is defined reveals the problem with the “male socialization” myth.

Socialization as concept is not simply something that is done to the individual, but actually refers to how the individual internalizes the norms and ideology of the society in which they are raised, “the process beginning during childhood by which individuals acquire the values, habits, and attitudes of a society” as merriam-webster helpfully describes it.

This means the individual’s response to society’s norms defines socialization. It’s not just how people treat you, how you are raised, it’s how you react to how they treat you. And this is equally true if we are to speak of gendered socialization, where a person’s internal gender identity and preferred gender expression, not just their assigned sex by their environnment, defines that person’s gendered socialization.

And it’s obvious that any attempt to “male socialize” transfems failed. If “male socialization” has any meaning it must include that it results in the male individual adopting a male identity. And for transfems, the results speak for themselves. A transfem saying “I was not male socialized, because I’m a woman and not a man” is in itself a valid argument.

The fact that transfems prior to transition can for a long time believe themselves to be male doesn’t mean they were “male socialized” either. Because again, the individual’s own response, both in thought and behaviour to how others treat and teach them is part of socialization. It’s not just the end result that is different from cis men, it’s how we get there too. That’s why some transfems speak of “transfem socialization” because even when we are treated like boys, we have different responses to that than boys and men do, and that is it’s own form of socialization.

The thing is, transfems tend to experience their assigned sex and the masculinity socially expected by them long before their trans realization, as deeply unpleasant. It’s gender dysphoria, but we are not given the words to articulate those feelings. We don’t know that gender dysphoria exists, that transition are an option, or even that trans people exist, except possibly as deluded and perverted men in dresses. So these feelings are instead repressed. This results in dissociation from emotions that are distressing and difficult to understand.

It can often be difficult for us to act according to the norms of masculinity and we are often abused by parents, schools and other children for our femininity.

Now of course there are many boys and men, who are effeminate and gender non-conforming, and are often uncomfortable with the masculinity they are expected to perform. But that just further proves the point that to speak of a monolithic “male socialization” is wrong, because even boys and men vary widely in their responses.

And a central problem with neatly divided male/female socialization, is that while expectations are different depending on assigned sex, we aren’t given separate messages about gender. Basically all children in the same culture are taught the same things about masculinity and femininity, and the misogyny that comes with it. Children who are supposed to be boys are taught what girls are like, and supposed girls are taught what boys are like (and the message is, broadly speaking, girls are inferior to boys).

Trans girls can therefore often internalize the message about femininity, what girls are like, and apply it to themselves, even long before we view ourselves as women. Long before we realize we are trans, that transition is an option, we often feel a painful longing for womanhood, and femininity, tinged with unrecognized dysphoria. The unrealistic beauty standards imposed on women can be especially devastating for trans girls who have internalized transmisogyny. We hold our own bodies to standards that are cisnormative and which are so unrealistic that even cis women can rarely reach them, and it’s used as a tool of repression and self-harm, to tell ourselves why we never could be women. Eating disorders are common among trans women even before transition.

This description of pre-transition transfem lives probably seems surprising to people who never listened to transfems describe their own lives, and this includes other kinds of queer people.

The double standard of how transfems pre-transition lives are described and how basically every other queer group’s closeted lives are described is stark. Like it’s now widely recognized that cis gay people who were closeted and didn’t believe themselves to be gay were suffering in that closet from the self-denial that belief involved. Claims that cis gay people were “heterosexually socialized” and that they enjoyed heterosexual privilege by self-denying in the closet are never made because they are obviously absurd and offensive. But not so for trans women’s own experience of repression and the closet. This is of course rooted in transmisogyny. As Julia Serano pointed out, “AMAB trans people are denied the closet”

[magstorrn]

about to leave a scathing review for a historical fiction book on goodreads (felt so strongly about it i made an account for the first time) then chickening out once i realised i'd put down my full name and i dont want to offend the author TOO much in case we end up working in the same field as historians

[mrscarpenter]

BED CHEM

Jacaerys Velaryon x Dornish!reader

Summary: The Prince gets send to gain a powerful alliance that the house targaryen has wanted for a long period of time, and he stumbles upon you. A gorgeous dornish queen.

Includes/warnings: dornish!reader this is probably horribly written so thats a warning in itself, not proof read but i believe Y/N has been used on multiple occasions. Did not give reader a description other than female & dark black curls. There is an age gap in this (reader is 16, jacaerys is 19, but it is never actually mentioned) like i said, not proof read, if you see any spelling errors feel free to point them out!

🪐notes: idk much abt the dornish, especially not in this timeline/au so please ignore any mistakes. Jace is not engaged to baela in this. :)

from my short & sweet collection

You were standing in the hall of your castle in SunSpear. Waiting for the arrival of the prince Jacaerys Velaryon, heir to the iron throne and prince of DragonStone. Or he would be, had King Aegon Targaryen not usurped the iron throne.

The weather in Dorne was always exceptionally hot, so you wore a sheer gown. One thing about the Dornish was that you were not ashamed of anything, especially not what the gods had given you. The dress was a dark blue, with red and gold detailing, your long black curls hanging loosely over your shoulders.

Once you saw the prince arrive, you stood up straighter, clearing your throat silently, allowing a faked smug expression to fall upon your face.

“Prince Jacaerys Velaryon, to what is the pleasure of your presence owed?”

It was all a different environment to what he was used to at DragonStone. The strong breeze of hot air, the lack of thick winter-like clothing, the more exposed body, the tanned skin... it was all such a strange sight to a prince accustomed to the cold. He bowed gently towards the young Queen of Dorne, and looked at her dress. He admired the work that her seamstresses had to do to look so good on her.

“A pleasure indeed, my lady. May we chat inside? It is quite hot here, I confess.”

you nod curtly. “Of course. i am afraid i am in a bit of a hurry though, many important matters to attend.” You point out a hand, allowing him to walk beside you as you walk up the steps into the castle.

Jacaerys follows you, watching the way you walk and the environment surrounding the palace. The hot air, the sun, the tanned skin.

He looks over at you, trying to figure out more about the queen of Dorne. “You are quite young, my lady. Not that I'm much older, but tell me what's it like being queen so young?”

“I am quite used to it. I have been Dorne’s ruler since i was 6 summers old. The Dornish are respectable people, and very direct. It hasn’t always been easy, but it felt natural.” You spoke.

Jacaerys nodded as you walked, thinking it was somewhat impressive someone that young could ever rule. He smiled slightly at your comment.

“I can see the directness in you already, if you'll forgive my boldness. You don't seem like you're the type of woman to beat around the bush, are you?”

Jacaerys was trying to figure you out, as any man with an interest in women would do. He walked beside you as you both spoke, trying to gauge his chances.

after a few seconds you speak up “No, i indeed am not. And i do not expect anyone else to either, if i step on anyone’s toes with my words, they are not company i should keep.”

That comment made Jacaerys smile, appreciating your honest nature. He couldn't deny how attractive blunt honesty was, especially in a place where everyone was so used to keeping secrets and making alliances all the time. “So you speak plainly?”

He knew women with bluntness often became some of the most interesting ones. And a queen, with an attitude like that, made a very intriguing proposition. As curious as your boldness made him, he couldn't deny his physical interests.

That dress... Gods...

You bring him out of his thoughts with your reply. “Yes i speak plainly, and so should you, Prince Jacaerys.” You spoke softly, almost gentle-like. It was very refreshing.

Jacaerys took a long look at your body, his eyes slowly glancing at the details of your dress. The way the skirt of the dress swayed with your movements and how the gown itself left little to the imagination. The way your curly locks dangled and moved. The way your skin shone with the sun's blessing...

His gaze finally returned to your face, the soft features combined with the dark eyes and long wavy hair. He couldn't deny what was crossing his mind right now. Your blunt nature, combined with the way you looked, was certainly making him wish for things.

He couldn't help himself, as he took another look at you, before finally speaking. “That must come in handy for a queen like you, my lady. You're much less... complicated than one would expect from a ruler.”

Jacaerys approached one step closer, his eyes still locked on yours.

“If I may ask, are you married or betrothed by any chance?”

Your blunt words, your direct manner, and your pretty face only encouraged his desires. And it seemed the prince was rather blunt with his intentions as well.

Your eyes locked with his, as he asked the question you were certain was coming.

Of course, he must be interested in some deal. Just like any man, the prince wouldn't be able to simply let a beautiful young queen pass by.

You took a moment to think, wondering what to share.. or perhaps hide. "No, my prince. I am unmarried."

The corner of Jacaerys' mouth curled into a small, cocky smile. "Oh, is that so?"

A hint of teasing was clear in his voice, his eyes still looking for something in yours.

"Well, I suppose that does have some upsides."

He took another step closer, until he was at an arm's distance. The young prince could smell the scent of the air in Dorne, the sun-kissed skin, and the expensive perfumes of a queen. "Tell me, how might a man catch the interest of the queen of Dorne?"

The prince's voice had the tone of teasing, making your eyebrow raise slightly. His sudden proximity also caught you slightly off guard, his physical interests becoming very clear to you.

You couldn't deny how handsome he was. And you guessed perhaps you could use a bit of fun, considering you were unmarried and in your youthful prime.

You tilted your head slightly, looking up at him, his eyes burning a hole through your face. "Hm... What are you offering? Your family is at war, are they not? your visit is political.”

The prince let out a quiet chuckle, letting his eyes wander over your body for a moment.

The dress was certainly eye-catching, the way it hugged your curves, allowing his imagination to let loose...

The words you spoke only made his eyes find their way back to your own, and the smirk he had on his face only grew.

"Is the possibility of a political alliance enough to catch your interest, my lady?"

You watched the prince's eyes as they caressed your body, the boldness in his gaze, and the clear interest that you knew was there. You knew how to take advantage of an opportunity..

"Depends on what kind of a deal you're suggesting, my prince." There was an undeniable flirtation in your voice, your own subtle way of teasing him.

The prince didn't hide the smirk that spread across his face after that statement. His hand slowly reached over to your waist, his touch feeling the silky fabric of your dress.

"Would a marriage perhaps suffice?"

Your dress, as thin as it already was, provided no barrier against his touch. You could feel each stroke of his fingers, his thumb moving in circular motions against the thin fabric.

The marriage proposal was expected, but it seemed the prince had a more hands-on approach in mind.

You kept a straight face, not to give away how your mind was beginning to wander with the possibility of a marriage. "What would I gain? And what would you expect in return?"

He didn't let your serious expression stop his hands from wandering over the silk of your gown, his hand moving across your waist and down your side. "You would gain protection, support, and a powerful alliance."

"And I would gain..." He leaned closer, his breath against your skin, "A gorgeous Dornish queen as a wife..."

Your heart began to race as his words and his hand continued it's exploration of your side, the anticipation of where those hands might end up was growing.

The prince's proximity and the way he slowly looked at you, expecting some kind of reaction. You stayed firm, holding back the subtle reaction you felt with his words.

"Hm... We might have a deal, my prince."

And with that, his lips ended on yours.

Requested by: @avatar4life

explore post. masterlist.

please comment and reblog if you enjoyed. <3

© mrscarpenter, 2024.

[inky125]

Mary Linton and Jack Marston meeting in 1922

Okay but these are just my headcanons for the very improbable scenario that they end up bumping into each other in the future. / My headcanons for what they would do with their lives after the events of rdr/rdr2

(I'm going to explain them under the cut)

Okay so, starting with Jack:

I want to believe Jack lived a more or less normal life after killing Ross, successfully getting away with this one (1) murder, and having that as a skeleton in his closet. Not finding peace really, so the whole revenge thing doesn't fix his miserable life but he can go on to try to do something with his life. Gunslinging doesn't really have a place anymore here.

When the US joined WWI I know that boy DID NOT join the US Army, he would NEVER join the group that killed his dad, or make the same mistake as him and make a deal with the government. He would rather be jailed for dodging the draft, what will they do, threaten him with what? He has nothing to live for really, so they can't make him. I don't think he cares much if he gets shot (he has a like saying as much in rdr when he duels Ross).

After the whole jail thing he'd go back to a more or less normal life, I'd guess he would have to have a regular job and write whenever he's able (I want to believe that one Easter egg in GTA is canon...it is to me...), but I don't think he'd be able to make a living just from writing.

As for Mary, I always wondered why Mary was dressed the way she was during the credits cut scene in Rdr2. Because I'm guessing it takes place in 1907 (given that most cut scenes appear to happen at the same time more or less than the epilogue). But I wondered why Mary was dressing in black; I mean, during the Victorian era there were very specific mourning traditions, especially for women. Wearing black was pretty much a part of a social thing, you'd publicly mourn. The extension of your mourning would depend on who died and what was your relationship with them.

And here is the thing, Arthur had died 8 years ago by then, we could assume Mary had found out shortly after of his dead because newspapers in the Rdr2 universe love to brag whenever law enforcement/Pinkertons kill renown outlaws. (Even Arthur and Hosea get mentioned years later in some sort of article in 1907 too). And additionally, we know that Mary kept up with how the gang, especially Arthur, was doing through the news on the newspapers. So again, it wouldn't be crazy to assume she knew about Arthur's death back in 1899.

So then, why is she wearing a black dress to visit his grave in 1907?. Black is the color of mourning, but as far as I am aware (and correct me if I'm wrong) it was not required to visit a grave back in the day. So I like to headcanon Mary mourning Arthur like a widow, because widows would have to wear their black weeds for 2 years (there were different periods of mourning, for instance Mary's clothes could be classified under the 'half-mourning' type, meaning there has been at least 6 months since her loved one passed away, meaning she could now wear some jewelry, other colours, ect.

But here is a little extra, Queen Victoria popularized among some women the practice to never abandon their period of half mourning, and especially, keep wearing black the rest of their lives even if they move on, as a sign of love for their dead husband.

Mary and Arthur never got married, but I like to think Mary lived as a widow for him. Continuing with her life as normal, of course, but always having that bittersweet ache in her heart, dressing in black out of respect and love for him and the life they couldn't have. Even if she had wanted to move on from him after she realized they couldn't be together as Arthur wouldn't leave the gang, I think she would have folded if Arthur had gone after her (I mean she did re-initiate contact after they were supposed to never speak again), and I think she was still preparing herself emotionally when she heard the news that Arthur was dead, ironically not moving on from him.

She didn't remarry, Jamie made good money and maintained her, Mary knew the kind of life she didn't want and she could be respectable and old as a widow. Plus marrying someone new at her age would be a titanic task.

I think Mary kept her mother's brooch Arthur returned for her as her reminder of him, given that she returned the picture and the ring. In fact she's wearing it when she visits Arthur's grave in-game!. So I kept that

It just warms my heart to think of the very few people left who knew about the gang finding each other in usual ways. Maybe next time I'd do Sadie or Charles. I'm just a sucker for this kind of things

[purple-dreams9]

If Thea was Theo, a controversial opinion

I want to preface this post by stating that this is not meant to change anyone's mind or opinion. I am not here to tell you to like a character or to ship a certain ship. You are free to hate Thea, write her off your fics, ignore her existence, and ship Kevin with the milkman if you so desire. This is also not an essay. Instead, think of it as the thought dump of someone munching over it for days.

This all started with a conversation about Thea with a couple people on a Discord server. I've been mostly neutral about Thea, not understanding the overall hate but not knowing much about her either. It led me to read Nora's most recent post about Thea, the replies and the "Why do you not like Thea?" poll, and I've seen plenty of Tweets about her, too.

In general, I noticed one main element when people explain their stance: it is not because Thea is a woman and people want to ship Kevin with male characters. The real reason(s), branched in different directions: the age gap, the lack of building of her character, how little she shows up/how little we know about her/the feeling of her being shoo-ed in out of nowhere as Kevin's love interest, and her attitude (inc. her lack for communication with Kevin after he left the Nest, her comment to Jean in TSC, etc.)

I have been in many fandoms for over a decade, some with more prominent mlm ships, and to be honest, none of those reasons seemed to truly justify the dislike of Thea to the degree she is disliked in the fandom as a whole, especially as the romantic interest of a main character. It seemed to me that most of it is rooted in the desire for Kevin NOT to be straight, but to be gay and be with a guy (or bi, but I see more people using "gay" for Kevin. And some prefer Aro/Ace Kevin, but these fans are a bit more quiet and subdued with their headcanon.) See, even taking Thea out of the equation, there are no popular mlw ships for Kevin with characters from canon, and even in fanon ships the counterparts are mostly (if not all) men.

That got me thinking: "What if Thea was Theo? How would that change how fans interact with this character, even if her personality was the same? What about the relationship with Kevin? Would fans approach the ship differently if he had had Theo as a boyfriend instead of Thea as a girlfriend?"

Of course, it is all hypothetical. For one, a big part of her character is that she is a woman of color (note that I am not black, so I am in no position to talk about how her race plays out with her character) in a predominately male and white team (violent cult) that had to fight her way to the top. It wouldn't quite have the same weight or the same background if she was a male. For two, I am aware it would bring another discourse to the table, that of the "predatory gay men stereotype" (even though there was nothing predatory or "grooming" in their relationship, but that conversation is not for this post.) I am sure plenty of fans would still hate the Kevin/Theo ship, and Theo himself.

Still, I allowed myself to picture it. I read, once, that women used to ship male characters together because female characters were underdeveloped and were not interesting. I wondered if this applies to fandom as well, how certain fandoms prefer to develop and grow male characters.

Things like "lack of canon information about Theo" would not be an issue. Fans are very good at filling in the blanks and building a character from the few spare parts given by the source. This also applies to "there is almost no interaction with Kevin" because let's be honest here, guys, ships are sometimes made from nothing. Rarepairs exist, and even ships like pre-TSC Jerejean can explode in popularity.

With how big of a part Kevin plays in the books and how big his shipping fandom is, if Theo was a thing, I truly believe we would have seen him bloom in fanon spaces. He would have given space and opportunity to grow, change and develop both as a character and in his relationship with Kevin.

The "forbidden relationship" trope and the possibility for angst would have fans foaming, fics working around Theo's past and how he had to fight his way to the top would be written, AUs where he leaves the beliefs of the cult behind and reunites with Kevin would also exist. We would see stories about how his and Kevin's love story played out before and after Kevin left the Nest (at least one primarily focused on the notes they used to pass each other in secret). His mean comments and bitchiness would be ignored, played down, understood, forgiven, or found charming (like Andrew's throughout the series, or even Abby's in TSC.) In a few words, he would be more present and less disliked.

AFTG is a predominately queer fandom, and there is nothing wrong with wanting representation, but I also think it's necessary to use the same scale for female and male characters that are romantically or sexually involved with more popular ones. It's fine not to like Thea, but also to sit and think: would I asses a male character in the same way? How would my view of them change regarding their gender? Just food for thought, I guess.

Again, this is not a call to action of any sort. It is just me, rambling and putting my thoughts down. I can't see different realities so this is basically all fiction. I wanted to take it out of my brain, hear what others think and that's it. Ship what makes you happy. Create what inspires you. Curate your experience. All that being said, Id love to hear your thoughts, but I wont debate anyone's opinion because that's truly, not what Im seeking.

This got longer than I intended so I'll end this here. If you made it, thanks! I hope you have a nice day.

[feminismisstillahatemovement]

To circle back to soemthing from early : The writing of male characters by female writers have repeatedly made me stop reading , especially when I recongized what I like to call the 3 archetypes : The friend , the jerk and the lover , sometimes these mix together but rarely.

The lover : mostly found in YA novels but sometimes adult and potentially pre-teen aimed romances of stories , a guy who seems prefect in description and rarely if ever does anything to hurt or offend the protagonist who is usually a stand in for the writer. the few negative things you can say about him out of the story are treated either as quirks or endearing qualities by the end. Sooner or later the emotional sensitive side is revealed and boom even if they were "The jerk " they're now considered redeemed or potentially redeemed by love. Big example (and the most obvious ) Edward Cullen and Christian Grey are those.

The friend: usually nerdy , kind of fades into the background at a certian point after the protagonist is with the lover, is clearly romantic interest of the protagonist if it's a YA situation , but these feelings are unrequited, they're soundly rebuffed of admitted or it's ultimately a "you have to look into how they're written " to tell. If written at all back in, it's usually to help the protagonist get to the lover & usually ends up with a lover that's either very much like the protagonist , potentially the protagonist's best friend or family member, or someone completely unlike the protagonist. Big example :Jacob from Twilight

The jerk : the bad boy who may be at first seen as an antagonist/working with the antagonist, usually does soemthing notably evil in their first big solo scene. But then that slowly gets walked back especially if they're the lover by the end. Even if they don't end up as the lover they've been given enough pathos that some fans will even say they want the leading protagonist with them or will write oc self inserts trying to help them get better. Possibly may die at the end to help make sure the protagonist lives or ensure the big plan succeeded. Big example : Snape from Harry Potter.

Mind you these aren't solidified hardened absolutes. I'd definitely say, however ,if you look at like 5 or 6 female written stories especially multi book series where it's female character going on an adventure almost all the male leads who are the woman's age who aren't relevaties commonly fall into those 3.

Yes.

Of course, there are a bunch of cliched and awfully-one-dimensional female characters in most male-written fiction too, but for me the biggest difference is there have always been women, in every age, wondering aloud about how a particular male author writes women so well, whereas I really don't think I've ever read any male character in any work by any woman that feels believable and an accurate representation of the internal thoughts, behaviours and motivations of a man that I've been able to connect to. I don't think women are really capable or all that interested in truly understanding the Y chromosome experience, and so their male characters tend to read only like either slow-witted and defective women, cartoonish mustache-twirling villains or alabaster objects of wealth and success. Because of this, the women authors I like I tend to read for what they tell me about their individual female experience, not for what they tell me of the wider world outside of it.

[letters-of-libertas]

Handling relationships with women (tldr here) generally is a topic/question I've seen float around a lot in single childfree women spaces and if I'm being real as a single childfree woman if you're serious about committing to this; your circle of deep quality friends will be so small it'll practically be a dot because in a maIe supemacist society so much of female bonding relies on things that would center maIes (& uphold misogyny) so when you dont do these things of course you'll find yourself at odds with making good connections with women especially as so many women center maIes.

There will be a degree of being alone as a single childfree woman. Personally this doesn't bother me as I'm not someone who makes or want a lot of friends anyways; the ones I have in my life are amazing but I'm not a very social person or trust people. On the note on trust I'll add this comment I saw on the female separatist sub on reddit. I think it hits the nail on the head regarding female friendships generally.

Practically speaking, keep maIe centric women, women that ascribe to libfem politics, maIe partnering women etc at arms length distance. You can have good or decent relations with them & keep conversations on non-maIe or non-political things. Even if they circle conversations back to these things, try and take it away again but if it gets too much this is where boundaries come in and you can express that you dont feel comfortable talking about those topics or just walk away from the conversation & talk to them another time, no need to get into why beyond stating you're not comfortable talking about it. I have a couple friends who have boyfriends & they're generally cool. One of them whenever we'd hang out she'd ask how my love life is going (& my answer is always the same - there is no love life) & ik it's a general topic for people but eventually I told her I dont like talking about it & she was cool with it. If your friends rock with you they'll respect your boundaries.

One thing about friendships in real life is that they aren't like the movies where you get a gang of friends or a special friend where you just click & go through the ups + downs of life together. Finding quality relationships is hard especially as a marginalised person. I've realised you dont have to be close with people. It's okay to be an acquaintance or for people to have their roles & purpose.

So when it comes to dealing with maIe centric women generally that are your friends or that you've got a soft spot for, dont get too close to them, dont expect much from them but you in turn dont give too much to them. Keep them at arms length distance - this is important as some of these women can eventually screw you over badly. Be friendly acquaintances with them.

Btw even if you were gender conforming & did everything expected from women it'd still be hard to make friendships with other women given how toxic women can be towards each other, also eventually they'd prioritise maIes over you regardless but just use you in the end.

A while ago I spoke about how I believe this is a lifestyle that chooses you & while you dont have to be a recluse hermit it's not uncommon that women who tend to be introverted & keep to themselves are drawn to this lifestyle. There's less external influence from the maIe-centric world at large making it easier to prioritise yourself and build life beyond romance & reproduction.

[azaharinflames]

I can see the show slowly banking away from the queer arc. A soft retcon of Bucks bisexuality would also be perfect to continue baiting without having to either follow through or fear queerbait accusations again. Buck continues to only date women from now on, they never mention his sexuality ever yet Oliver is free to play Buck as queer as he always wanted. And by that I think he meant sending horny looks Eddies way to keep his base happy and engaged. It's really win/win for them. They got all the cloud for it last season, they could bait for another 15 seasons now all while not having to actually put any thought in how to tell a queer story.

Hi, Nonnie! Thanks for the ask.

See, in my mind, there are again two creatures:

One agrees with you, and definitely believes from now on Buck will only have female LIs. Most likely short relationships to keep Buck as the eternal bachelor of the series (like @unfuckablebogtroll said, have him be the Olivia Benson of 911), and then they'll put together a last-minute LI once they know the series is canceled (perhaps a female LI no one really knows, like Natalia, perhaps Tommy in a rushed right-person-wrong-time SL. I can definitely see both). If someone asks, well - he's bi! so him dating women exclusively doesn't erase that. Which, true, but in this context it is all much trickier than that.

One that disagrees with you, if anything because I don't want to become too negative or too cynical*. Because, yeah, sure, they can move on from Buck's bisexuality, but that is an insane bad look on them. If they still want to be praised and be recognised for their diversity and inclusion, it won't be it. Because, as I said, as much as a bisexual person is still bisexual even if they only date people from the opposite sex, fact is that in television things are trickier. Because it isn't as easy as just knowing something, they have to show it. Things are held to a different standard, and that's just the name of the game. So if Buck were to only date women moving forward, that would mean 1. a bad look on them, kinda like they lured their queer audience in (some of which had given up on the series already), only to bait them and 2. I honestly believe they would face some serious backlash for this. Of course, I cannot say this will happen, but I would be surprised if it hadn't.

All in all, we know there is a rebound in the near future, and I will be honest, I'm fully expecting that rebound to be a woman. I will be pleasantly surprised if he rebounds with a man - as much as we know the relationship is very short-lived, as Tim has already warned.

We'll see - I'm one of them that believes that, for Buck, it's either growing back together with Tommy, or nothing. And nothing as in - he'll be the eternal bachelor until the series ends, because I truly believe they won't be able to find a LI that tops Tommy, or one the audience falls half in love with, in comparison to how much they loved Tommy. So. I might be wrong on this one, but I truly think that, long-term, it's either getting back together with Tommy, or a string of half-assed and unfulfilling LI until the very end of the series.

Oh! I also want to add - I don't see the 'throwing glances' at Eddie, mostly because I want to believe they are not that stupid. They're playing a dangerous game and are currently toying a very thin line here. We know they don't have plans to have Buddie happen, but if they actively start baiting their audience, it will look extremely bad on them.

My inbox is open for ranting, venting, or discussing! And if you wanna talk more things than 911, it is open for that as well!

Take care <3

*Disclaimer: not saying that you are being too negative or cynical. I 100% understand where you're coming from, especially after the way the show has dealt with all of this in the last few weeks. I see what you're saying and I partly agree with it.

[kvothe-kingkiller]

okay I want to preface this with: I am Against gender testing in sports, I believe this whole trans panic thing is transphobic/intersexist/racist/etc, and I support trans women and trans people in general being able to do sports.

With that out of the way, I feel like people just....get the facts straight up Wrong on so many levels with all of this. Ledecky would not beat (olympic level) men in any of the competitions she does. Here are the men's vs women's world records on some of the swimming events

100m Free: Mens 46.8 (Zhanle), Womens 51.71 (Sjöström)

1500m Free: Mens 14:30.67 (Finke), Womens 15:20.48 (Ledecky)

100m Butterfly: Mens 49.45 (Dressel), Womens 55.18 (Walsh)

100m Breaststroke: Mens 56.88 (Peaty), Womens 1:04.13 (King)

400m Medley: Mens 4:02.50 (Marchand), 4:24.38 (McIntosh)

The story is the same if you look up running times, walking times, jump heights, jump lengths, throws, skiing times, skating times, etc etc.

here's the gender gap in swimming race speeds and then track and field events over the last century (courtesy of buzzfeed)

As you can see, they get better over time, then plateau. While it's certainly possible they might come down to 0, I doubt it will be any time soon (Nature actually estimated in 2004 that they could become more equal by 2156 but that was assuming an increase over time that has since leveled off). Those slight humps are from before steroids and other drugs became more rigorously tested.

These of course include the intersex and high T perisex women who have competed and will continue to compete so it's not just to do with testosterone, there are obviously multiple factors.

Ledecky beating men was during practice, idk who she was practicing against (it was a comment made by a teammate and didnt say who the men were) but it wasn't phelps or any of the other top male swimmers. Then when you have things like shooting etc, the main reason that's segregated by gender is simply because more men are in the sport. If you have (numbers arbitrary) 1000 men wanting to compete and 100 women and you take the best of all of them, chances are you'll end up with 9 men and 1 woman. Segregating it by gender ensures 10 men 10 women.

Tennis and other things like that are harder to score up against each other since men tend to compete against men and women against women, except for the occasional m/f double match. But I think it's safe to say that with the evidence from power and speed differences from the above stats, men would likely beat women if you're comparing the top vs the top. Yes, even Serena Williams.

Once again, I am against gender testing. I am against the racist and transphobic shit you see in sports nowadays.

But it is simply untrue to say that Cis men and Cis women are on the same level when it comes to top sporting events. I am not saying women are weak or women are shitty and bad at sports I am literally just showing people the Correct numbers.

I do not know the answer to this. I do not know how trans people should be included without excluding others. I am neither an athlete nor a gender scientist.

However, I do know the rhetoric around this on this site is unhelpful given it's entirely based around incorrect facts (that in straight athletic competitions, cis men and cis women are at equal levels) and everyone that tries to say otherwise is either actually transphobic or gets dogpiled as Being transphobic even if they aren't.

(Also, this is just at the top of the top. When we're talking about highschool and Especially elementary school sports, trans kids should absolutely be allowed to play whatever team they want.)

[marchtomydrums]

Birthday

Cordelia Goode x Mina Venable x Billie Dean Howard x Reader

Today is your birthday and normally you don't make a big fuss about it. You love celebrating others but not really your own. Gift-giving others is always more fun in your opinion. However, your girlfriends had other plans. This was the first birthday you celebrated with them and they wanted to make it memorable.

Billie and Cordelia made sure to cancel all weekend plans for the four you to spend quality time together. They both cooked your favorite meal and Mina brought home some wines for you to try. It was the perfect night. Just a quiet night in with your three favorite women…what more could you ask for?

Billie cleared the table and then she came back quickly as Cordelia grabbed your hand rubbing it softly.

“This has been the best birthday,” you said smiling at the women.

“It's far from over babydoll.” Billie smiles.

“What do you mean?” you asked looking at them in confusion.

“Sweetheart you know how the three of us have our own special place in the house? You know our space for just us,” she says.

You nod. Of course, you knew this. When they bought the house it was just the three of them and each woman wanted a space that was just theirs. Cordelia had a greenhouse built for all of her herbs, and plants, and her spell books.

Billie Dean got her very own walk-in closet which was home to her many expensive bags, clothes, and shoes.

Wilmeina had her office/den that once she entered she was not to be disturbed. Unless you were dying or something. You had never even been in there.

“We wanted you to have your own space as well,” Cordelia says as she softly pulls you up and leads you down the hallway.

“We all thought long and hard about what you might want and we finally came up with an idea,” she says.

“You can change it if you don't like it.” Mine adds quickly.

The three women stand in front of the double doors which you now noticed looked different like they had just had a fresh paint job.

“The home offices?” you asked.

They smiled as they opened the doors. The smell of vanilla and books hit your nose as soon as those doors opened. The office had been removed into one huge library. The walls were floor-to-ceiling with bookshelves. The wood was a dark oak color and the shelves were deep. It looked old and expensive. Some of them had been filled to the brim with the books you already had which you had stashed down here. There was a ladder that would be able to slide across the room.

You smiled “Just like Belle.” you thought to yourself.

Two arms wrapped themselves around your waist as lips kissed your cheek softly.

“Just like Belle my love,” Cordelia said with a smile.

Normally you would be mad about her listing in on your thoughts but right now you were too happy.

You smiled with tears in your eyes as you looked back at them.

“It's so beautiful. I don't deserve all of this.”

“You deserve everything. “ Mina corrects you.

“I. I don't know what to say,” you said shaking your head.

“I. Thank you! All of you. I've never been given something so wonderful. So personal. I'm speechless.” you said looking around the room.

“We all agreed you deserve your own space plus you love to read,” Billie says kissing you softly.

Cordelia nods as she also gives you a small kiss. “Happy Birthday sweetheart.”

“Thank you.” you smiled.

“Thank you. Thank you.” you cheered as you ran and jumped into the fluffy oversized chair that you would definitely be living in once you were in this room.

They giggled “You're Welcome.”

“Listen I know this is my space and all but all three of you are welcome. Especially you Mina I know you love to read,” you said smiling up at the woman.

The redhead walks closer to you and leans down gently to kiss your lips.

“Thank you little one.”

“Thank you!” you smiled looking over the library once again.

“I can't believe y'all did this for me,” you whispered in awe.

The three women smiled at you and then at each other.

“We would do anything for you,” Cordelia said, and the three of them shared a silent agreement.

[neonscandal]

Okay, if you were asked who are in JJK & BNHA that you can see based on canon that are gay/bi/pan/demi, which characters are they?

For me satoaugu and bakudeku are definitely not straight (yes, I ship them but I don't think they "must be into women only" like a post I just saw). Also, kaminari, jirou, toga, nobara, megumi, kenjaku....

Ah yes, a person with discerning tastes. ✨ While this feels like a sure fire way to get me into some hot water, let's dive right in.

✨🌈 Happy pride to the queer people in my phone 🌈✨

But especially these

Megumi "Only Interested in Compassion" Fushiguro - pansexual (very much choosing to overlook very subtle implications of siscon as a red herring to, of course, further contextualize ItaFushi). See also Gojo and the uncharacteristic Miwa agenda.

Satoru Gojo - Let's be so for real. Man is down astronomical for Suguru but I think there's still evidence/reason to believe he could be ace or demisexual. Can strength be conflated with love?

Kinji Hakari - waving the white flag on this one considering I'm 4 weeks behind and I don't know if there's been further clarification that might swing this verdict one way or another but support Hikari's love regardless of Kirara's gender expression/identity. Also, given current events, it'd be pretty weird if Gege slipped that in out of nowhere.

Kenjaku - 🗣️ IF GIVEN ENOUGH TIME, DO WE NOT ALL BECOME A LIL GAY!? I understand straight people probably don't have such realizations so I'm just going to sit with that reflection.

Nobara Kugisaki - be so for real. I think she had a misplaced crush in her idolization of Saori that made more sense when she left the bumble fuck countryside and could live her best life, out and proud with her muscle mommy girlfriend, Maki. Also explains, a bit, why Saori was ostracized where Nobara may have lacked understanding/context.

Maki - Plenty of gay icons without last names, queen. This one just happens to also be gay.

Eijirou Kirishima is almost so straight that he unintentionally makes a hard U-turn into flirting with queerness. His phrasing is baffling as he tends to pop up in those threads frequently with assumingly unintended innuendos but it is also reminiscent about how no one third wheels harder than a dude's girlfriend when he's with his best friend? I don't know if that makes sense but I'm throwing him in the mix as someone who maybe just needs some time ✨ regardless of the BakuDeku to KiriMina parallels.

Denki Kaminari - This kid has eyes and he uses them, gender be damned. A bi-disaster if I've ever seen one.

Minoru Mineta - IDK if his Deku confession was a translation faux pas or if Mineta, too, has fallen for the male lead's quintessential charm that wins over hearts and minds. While the Council on Bisexuality would fight me on this one... his membership is still pending.

Izuku Midoriya - I have it on good authority that Izuku is Bakusexual. Flustered by girls in the same way that any awkward and bullied kid might when encountering the opposite sex but his heart has always had its allegiance to one person. Whether that makes him gay, demi or even bi, I think it tracks.

Katsuki Bakugo - bi, pan or gay, the consensus is he is Not Straight.

Kyoka Jiro - in Smash, Jiro is a total fujoshi (she just like us fr). If you'll allow submitting MHA Smash into evidence, coupled with the canon main story, I say bi. A girl who knows Momo is stacked but also reasonably wants the attention and company of a Class 1A boy as a girl would at that age.

Himiko Toga - one thing about Toga. She is going to know and live her truth. Confidently bi ✨

Ochaco Uraraka - SPEAKING OF LIVING TRUTHS. She a little late but she has the right spirit.

Bonus, if including Kirishima didn't some how get me booed, I was going to add Yuta Okkotsu too but I thought better of it. 👉🏾👈🏾

[ambers-archive]

who am i, darling to you (ii)

surrender to the sound

The low hum of the engine came to life as you found your seat on the plane. 

"So, let's go over what we know. The unsub targets honeymooning couples, but the question is, how does he manage to catch them off guard?" Hotch asked

He was seated across from you, and you pretended not to notice his eyes occasionally drowning into yours. 

You flipped around your case file, while your other hand was clutching onto your favorite book.

You know it inside out: it was your grandmother's favorite, and apparently your mother's as well. 

Some of the pages still smell like the incense she used, and her hair oil. 

It’s a relic, or time capsule you think. One of bedtime stories, sleepless nights, and memories just out of reach.

"Given the lack of signs of struggle at the crime scenes, it's possible that the unsub is either surprising them or has some form of control that keeps them compliant." Reid chimed in sitting next to you.

You two got along really well, he was the first one to strike a conversation with you since joining the team. Few days into your reassignment to the team he approached your desk. 

You were reading: And then there were none. 

He complimented your taste and went on to analyze it himself. "You know, one of the most intriguing aspects of the book is how it delves into the psychology of guilt and remorse. Each character in the story is haunted by their past actions, and their guilt ultimately becomes their downfall." 

And just like that he became one of your best friends. 

Emily offered you and Spencer some coffee as she took the seat across from you. You smiled at her; all of them were like family to you. Emily and Penelope, the sisters you never had.

And JJ like to the mother always wanted.

Sometimes you look around and can���t believe you have people around you, who love you, and want to spend time with you. 

It was nice, everyone on the team was really welcoming.  

Even Hotch, well as welcoming as he can be. 

At first you would get a brief nod from him, and sometimes when you delivered a profile correctly, a slight raise of his eyebrows and some stolen glances which you kept close to your heart. 

Recently though you’ve been getting occasional smiles, few compliments, and brief moments of laughter. But quick as they come, quicker they disappear. 

Morgan leaned forward from his seat next to Hotch, "But how does he target his victims in the first place? I mean, we're talking about well-prepared honeymooners, not easy targets."

"He could be monitoring their activities before attacking. The unsub might be studying them, learning their routines, and finding the perfect moment without raising suspicion." You said, it felt almost scary to you, the way you're able to dissect their behaviors, putting yourself in the mind of a serial killer, profiling, and going over the most heartbreaking cases.

You hunt, just like they did. 

And the patterns he left on the women are still stuck in the back of your head. He hates women.

(That much is clear)

"This type of power play, especially if it were done post-mortem, suggests a level of sadism." You continued. "These women most likely represent a source of his resentment." 

“So we're dealing with an unsub who targets couples, targets the women specifically, and is able to go into their rooms undetected." Emily said, "Should be easy enough." 

“Emily and I can go to the resort, ask for their security footage. There’s gotta be something we can find out.” Morgan said. 

“Since you have experience with sexual assault cases you and Reid go see autopsy results. See if these marks were post-mortem." Hotch said, looking over at you and Reid.

You were relieved you weren't paired with him, you overthought every decision around him.

And you could barely look him in the eye, your words often died out at the tip of your throat: impossible to convey words of much intelligence. 

The air in the coroner's office was thick. 

Of course temperature wise it was cool, and airy. Detached and void of anything warm. the victims bodies told so many stories. 

"These markings: they're deep stab wounds. They were also done post-mortem," Dr. Fields stated. "They are precise, not hesitation wounds—he knew what he was doing from the beginning."

"He seems to be targeting their femininity. This stems from a deep hatred for women," Spencer muttered.

"Or a woman," You interjected.

"You think these victims are surrogates for someone else in his life?" 

"The time and effort it takes someone to inflict these wounds takes determination. This sort is indicative of someone affected by past trauma."

"What can we know about husbands?" Spencer asked, redirecting the focus to the examiner. 

"Whereas the women died from strangulation, the men were drowned, and it's assumed they were drowned in their hotel bathtub," Dr. Fields responded

"So he takes his time with the women, gets it over with with the men?" Spencer asked. 

"The time of death for the male victims was hours earlier than their wives. Maybe he wanted to eliminate the competition, wanted to enjoy his time alone with them?" You suggested. 

ʚ ═══･୨ ꕤ ୧･═══ ɞ

"Strauss wants a briefing on this case." Hotch announced walking into the makeshift briefing room. It was a tiny station in a small town in Florida. 

Emily snorted, "So she can question everything we have so far about the profile?" 

"I'm not sure, but it sounded urgent that she wants to talk to the whole team." Hotch replied by opening the laptop and starting the call to Quantico. 

"Hello agents." Strauss said as the call came to life, holding up the case files. "The director called, he wants to consider you going undercover. Due to the high popularity of this resort, and the timing in which these murders are being committed-"

"We might need to understand his patterns from within the environment he operates in." Hotch finished for her, 

A collective pause filled the room, and their words hung in the air, an uneasy silence passed through the team.

The team hadn't gone undercover in years. 

"Undercover?" Morgan broke the silence, "This team hasn't gone undercover for years, Hotch and I are the one of the only ones who's gone undercover, but never as a team."

"Going undercover as a honeymooning couple could give us an advantage. It might put us right where the unsub is likely to strike." Emily responded

"It could help us observe the surroundings, identify any potential patterns or anomalies that we might miss from an investigative standpoint." Reid said, agreeing with Emily. 

"This only calls for a couple since the unsub is targeting couples. We need two agents to pose as husband and wife." Strauss said

You sucked in a breath, the thought of going undercover sent shivers down your spine, you've done stimulations before, but the real thing? You push the feeling down as soon as it bubbles up.

You only joined a year ago surely they would want someone more experienced, someone who's shown themselves proved themselves to the team more. 

But before your mind could fall deeper into your thoughts the sound of Hotch's name coming from Strauss stopped you. "Based on your experience and being Unit Chief the director wants you at the forefront of it." Hotch nodded, looking at the rest of the team. 

"I would like to take Agent Prentiss since she has experience with Doyle-“

"Actually Agent, I believe it would be better if someone else went in with you."

 And suddenly you were the only one in the room, a pair of uneasy green eyes met yours, Hotch raising his eyebrows ever so slightly. 

And if you were crazy enough you would think he looked worried.

 "With all due respect Ma'am I don't think she had enough field experience for this." 

"I am concerned about that, however it has been brought to my attention that our unsub has a type and they all have a resemblance to-“

"To me" You finished for her. trying to sit up straighter and slow the beatings of your heart as you meet hotch's eyes. "If we can use my cover as bait, I would know what to say and how to be careful around him-" 

Hotch looked over at you, calling out your name. "This is very risky, and dangerous not to mention doing a covert mission like this won't be easy." 

“I understand Sir, but-"

“I don’t want any of my agents going in a bait, the profile isn’t complete yet. We don’t know what we’re looking for.” Hotch responded, eyes still boring into yours. 

“Agent Hotchner we can’t wait until there are more victims, I’m sorry but it's the director's orders.” Strauss said, “We’ll send over the alias needed and with the information you have now it should be a simple task." And with that Strauss signed off, leaving only you and the team looking uneasy. 

"This could work, Aaron,” Rossi said, sitting off to the side scribbling absentmindedly on his notepad.  “While you two are undercover we can gather more pieces to the profile with your insight." 

"Let's go over the victims, affluent couples honeymooning, madly in love, never leaving each other's sides."

You only caught snippets of the rest of the conversation. You were too busy wondering why for the first time Hotch was avoiding you, his eyes were glued to the board not sparing you a second glance.

[thomasthetankieengine]

In honor of Krampusnacht, here's a really odd post I found awhile ago.

I don't want to be too snide, but I seriously wonder if the OP has ever seen a goat before. They can, in fact, be black and always have tails, horns, and hooves.

While the origins of Krampus are not precisely known, using goats and other hooved animals like horses as a symbol of the wild and chaotic aspects of nature as a long history in most European cultures. It's why Pan, Silenus, the Fauns, Centaurs, and Satyrs were so often depicted as goat and/or horse men and it's why they were portrayed as raging ids who enjoyed getting rip-roaring drunk, carrying off women, and having orgies.

Such traits lended themselves well to the conception of the demonic after Christianity was adopted in most of Europe. Admittedly, though, in this case, it's hard to know if Krampus was a post-Christianization figure formed from Christian conceptions of the demonic or if he was based at all on an earlier figure from Germanic paganism. We're really fudging around in the dark here, because our knowledge of Germanic paganism, especially that of the non-Norse, is extremely incomplete. Here may had similar origins to the Yule goat and the Finnish Nuuttipukki, but even that is speculative.

One thing that can be pointed out is that Krampus is similar, in many ways, in the European conception of the Wild Man, which overlapped considerably with the Greek Satyrs and the Roman Fauns. It is worth noting here that Krampus celebrations in Germany and Austria frequently involve the men who dress as Krampus ingesting a great deal of alcohol — and remember what I said earlier about how the Satyrs and Fauns were often depicted as constantly drunk? Before modern toxicology came about, alcohol was often conceived of as something slightly magical and becoming drunk after drinking it was understood as being literally possessed by its supernatural and/or divine creators. In ancient Greece, of course, this was understood as being possessed by Dionysus, the Greek god of wine, nature, insanity, and ritual ecstasy.

There's another post made a friend of the OP who appears to be trying to argue, amongst other things, that any mythological creature with horns and tails has antisemitic origins and was definitely influenced by antisemitism.

And ... um... I don't want to be too dismissive here, but I believe they are reversing cause and effect. To be blunt, Jews obviously do not actually have horns, cloven hooves, and tails; they were given them by medieval artists to make them seem inhuman and associate them with demons. In other words, those associations already existed before they were applied to Jews. Admittedly, though, you do have to walk a fine line here.

In any case, part of this post is just plain old wrong. Krampus generally didn't eat children; instead, he usually beat them with birch rods for being bad or dragged them off to hell. Similarly, I'm less than comfortable with the common sentiment on this site and that every folkloric and mythological creature said to attack children must be antisemitic in some way.

I don't want too dismissive here, but I think it should be understood that much for the reason for why mythological and folkloric creatures were said to specifically attack babies and children because infant and childhood mortality rates in the pre-modern past were incredibly freaking high. It's generally estimated that, for most of human history (by which I mean "up until the 19th century), around 50% of all children born would not live to see their 16th birthday.

Furthermore, pre-modern people did not have microscopes or modern biology at their disposal and thus they know anything of microbiological worked or why it was that babies and children tended to catch and die of illnesses far more often than adults did.

This is not a folkloric motif that you see only in European cultures and Europe had its fair share of evil creatures who preyed on children before the idea of the idea of the blood libel was formed in 12th century England.

Witness the Mesopotamian Lamashtu and Akhkhazu, the ancient Greek Lamia and Mormo, the Malay Penanggalan, the Filipino Manananggal and Aswang, the Arabic ghoul, the Germanic ogre, the Afghani Madar-i-Al, the Japanese oni, the Azeri Div, the Inuit Ijiraq, or the Egyptian Abu Rigl Maslukha.

Many of these creatures have also had their dual purpose of frightening children to make them behave Which, funnily enough — is exactly what Krampus' purpose was and is as well.

One more thing, though. When doing research on this topic, I found out that parents in Syria and Lebanon would often tell their children to be good and go bed on time or the Anglo-Norman king, Richard the Lionheart, would get them. Not sure if they still do, though.

[lady-iskra]

How I entered the ship, and what I see in Zutara

I want to focus more on the positive things regarding A:TLA and Zutara, so I thought, why not writing down, how I entered the MSS Zutara? Well, here it goes:

I already felt a chemistry in The Crossroads of Destiny, but my ship started during The Southern Raiders. Zuko realized that he wronged Katara the most, and I totally understand why she still couldn’t forgive him while the others already did (tbh, I think they forgave him too early. While the field trip-episodes were excellent, the pacing in between those was still too fast, IMO, along with the comet countdown).

Anyway, Zuko asks how he can make it up to Katara and helps her find closure by accompanying her, only getting involved when necessary—like when he made the wrong guy tell them about Yon Rha, just as Katara was about to give up.

Other than that, he stood aside, asked if she is ready, told her to find some rest—for me, it seemed as if he wasn’t only concerned to receive her forgiveness, but also caring about her as a person.

Plus, his line towards Sokka got me thinking: "Your sister. She hates me! And I don't know why, but I do care what she thinks of me." I mean... you could interpret it as him being at least a little interested in her, even if he doesn’t realize it...

Katara opened up to Zuko during their journey by telling him the whole story of her biggest trauma. Something she hasn’t done with anyone on screen, and showed that she already felt completely understood by him. For me, it felt like a much deeper bond she already shared with Zuko in a short time as the ones she shared with the others from the Gaang. And, finally: she received her closure in her own way with his help; and forgave him. And, I mean, that deep look after the tight embrace... hello???

On top came that this is literally the only episode when it is about Katara alone: Not Katara helping anyone or fighting for women’s rights—after she gave so much, it was the one episode only about her and her trauma alone. And who gave her the chance to do all this, bc he understood what she truly needs: Zuko.

Funny, this coincidence... This is such a typical element of Enemies-to-Lover’s. Is anyone familiar with the "A court of thorns and roses"-series by Sarah J. Maas? This happens there as well ACOTAR spoilers following, I haven’t figured out how to hide spoilers; if there is a way, pls let me know, thanks: Turns out the former enemy-guy understood the protagonist deeply, more as her soon-ex-fiancé ever could; and with his help, she got healed from her trauma. The former enemy is the one who really listens to her, who sees her as an equal, and she starts to trust him deeply, more than anyone else. End of ACOTAR spoilers 

So, yeah, that is how my ship started, and the following episodes tightened it. It was also the other way around, Katara who comforted Zuko in the most understanding way, given him strength to face his uncle and ask him for forgiveness, agreeing without hesitation of supporting him in a fight against Azula. And last but not least: Their last interaction together is saving each other's lives in the most epic way.

Long story short: They showed me a deep understanding of each other, they shared their deepest trauma or worries with the other one, and their friendship grew with every episode. And especially bc of this deep understanding, I truly believe that their relationship would be a healthy one. Would they fight now and then, like every couple? Of course, and it would get heated and passionate, for sure. But since most fights in relationships stem from a lack of understanding, I think it would happen rarely. Because they know, they can tell each other everything.

My intuition when it comes to a growing romance is mostly correct, and the Zutara-situation is so Enemies-to-lovers coded that nobody would’ve been surprised if they ended up together. I realize that not many episodes were left to build up a romance, but most Zutara shippers, like me, would’ve been pleased with a slight hint, and maybe a kiss out of adrenaline and relief after the last Agni Kai on top.

[watermelinoe]

hii. I feel really odd doing this but I have nobody to ask for advice in real life and I can't post to reddit because surprise surprise all the radical feminist/gender critical subreddits got taken down, and you seem like a kind intelligent individual who might have good thoughts

so, my best friend whose fake name will be Aspen, and who in all honestly I've been completely in love with since we were seated next to each other in seventh grade pre algebra when I was eleven years old (I have never told them although I'm kind of awful at hiding it) is female but identifies as non-binary, and uses they/them (which is what I'm using here because I use those pronouns for them in real life and it feels odd to change that just in this ask). I was raised by a radical feminist philosopher, and I am itching to say who but then my cover would be completely blown, and I share almost all of her views, including the gender-critical ones.

the thing is that when I met Aspen and became absolutely enamored with who they are as a person and for about a year after that, I too identified as nonbinary and was very anti-radfem. I have since detransitioned and gone back to my birth name and everything and Aspen has been incredibly supportive, but I have never told them how my views have shifted about "transgender" politics. I have brought it up without explicitly stating it, we had a conversation where I genuinely inquired about how they felt their "gender identity" was different from simply being a gender non conforming woman and how being trans is supposedly different from identifying with the gender roles of another gender. they did not dismiss me and we actually had a productive conversation which really shows you how kind and smart they are. I think I introduced some new perspectives that may or may not end up being actionable on their part because as of now they haven't brought it up again though they did definitely seem receptive and genuinely thought about it.

obviously, I think that their gender identity and subsequent trans politics have been heavily influenced by general patriarchy and societal values, but as most radical feminists do, I do not at all believe that this is their fault. but I feel like I can't try to help them without alienating them or making them feel as if I don't love them or that I believe them to be broken in some way, especially given that they've identified this way since before I knew them and were very severely bullied for it growing up. for me, their identity and politics do not change the fact that they're my first and only love, and hands-down the kindest and most compassionate person I've ever met.

I adore them and I do not know how to balance that and my commitment to radical feminism, both of which I would fight to the death defending but which seem to inherently contradict each other, and I feel like I cannot do this juggling act forever and need to somehow make them understand what's behind their identity, keeping in mind their background, without breaking their heart and their trust in me as a person and a friend.

I'm so sorry to leave this in your askbox and you are not at all obligated to respond to it but you seem like someone who might have some insight

xM

i think this is comparable to loving someone who is deeply religious when you are an atheist. do you see yourself single-handedly deconstructing their faulty belief system? you can't make someone come to the conclusions you want them to, especially not a deeply held and essentially spiritual belief that is not rooted in reality. of course you can love someone despite a fundamental difference in beliefs, but you can't expect to change them, and that's okay. your commitment to radical feminism isn't evangelical, you're not responsible for converting other women and you're not only allowed to associate with other "believers." the connections we make with other women, meeting them where they are, are material and vital. it's fine to gently press back against her beliefs, and you should feel comfortable being open with yours.

[hyakinthou-naos]

I’m new so plz be patient

I’m kinda scared of the gods especially Apollo and idk what I should do

He’s are not always the nicest in the myths but idk how accurate some of the characters are. I’m scared of offending or angering him, but I also feel a connection to him

I was raised evangelical and they don’t have the healthiest relationship with their god so idk if it’s just my upbringing or not

Thank you ☀️(I’ve also asked other blogs in case you see the same question)

Khaire Miles, and thank you for your question!

I want to start by saying that it is okay to be afraid; there should be no shame in fear or trauma, and The Theoi should *never* be angry with you for having emotions.

A slight tangent, but (from a mental health perspective) emotions in it of themselves are neither “good” nor “bad” - it is what you do with those emotions that denotes morality*.

*Of course there is a lot of nuance in this type of discussion, but an important bit of nuance I want to add is that (in this context) emotions are not the same as beliefs.

As humans there is so much pressure to “control” and “fight” our emotions. But in my experience, it is much easier and more productive to allow yourself to feel your emotions without judgement and then try to understand why you feeling the way you are - instead of trying to “fight” your mind.

I also want you to know that you are not alone in how you feel! I was raised Roman Catholic, and I was scared/hesitant to work with any male divinities (Apollo included) when I began my venture into Hellenic Polytheism.

I was put off by the way myth depicted deities such as Lord Apollo, King Zeus, and even Queen Hera. These emotions and beliefs were due in large part to the fact that I was operating under the mindset of “mythic literalism” or “fundamentalism” (which is present in most Christian denominations).

“Fundamentalism: noun

a form of a religion […] based on the belief that everything that is written in the scriptures is completely true”

- Source: Oxford Learners Dictionary

However, current theories around ancient Hellenic worship - as well as the current worship by Hellenic Polytheists - tend to favor viewing Greek Myths through the lense of Mythic Symbolism instead of Mythic Literalism.

“Literalists tend to seek factual or historical bases for a given mythological narrative while advocates of one the many symbolic approaches prefer to regard the narrative as a code requiring some mode of decipher-ment.”

- Source: “The Flood Myth” by Alan Dundes

To simplify - if you view Greek Myth from a Literalist perspective, then you’re going to believe that Hades/The Underworld is a physical place you can get to if you dig deep enough below the ground. If you view Greek Myth from a Symbolic perspective, then you’re going to view Hades/The Underworld as a metaphor or symbolic explanation of what life is like after death.

So, did King Zeus literally cheat on his wife with dozens of women - ignoring his marriage vows and often assaulting women in these various myths? No.

Greek Myth existed and continues to exist as stories, to explore human morality - to explain that which we don’t yet understand - and to provide a framework for belief and ritual. The reason why so many myths portray The Gods in a negative light, is because the actions of The Gods are supposed to be a reflection of humanity. Humans can be terrible, we can cause unspeakable harm to ourselves and others - but humans can also be wonderful, creating joy and kindness in situations where these things are lacking.

This paradigm shift, from Mythic Literalism to Mythic Symbolism, is something that can be challenging and difficult to navigate. I was a practicing pagan for 10 years before I ever comfortably worked with a male deity - and now Lord Apollo is the principle god in my personal pantheon.

Lord Apollo is an incredibly complex and wonderful deity. He is artistry and creativity, he is joy and light - he can also be one who requests discipline and rigor, one who holds his ground and embodies social justice. He is many things to many people, but to me he is nothing to fear. I firmly believe he has been guiding me my whole life, and I would not worship him if I thought for a second that he was not a moral or just entity.

I hope this has been helpful to you in some way, if you have any additional or follow up questions please don’t hesitate to reach out.

Eirene - peace and farewell,

- Aön