#and like. not in a real life sense
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that crazy moment when you're in fazbear entertainment's new mobile game as a marketing scheme to ward off the rumors and all you can do is watch from animatronic hell as you're blatantly mischaracterized!!!
#like. is it weird to anyone else that springtrap. golden freddy. and shadow bonnie are all in ar#and like. not in a real life sense#but like. in-universe. they were all in the fazbear funtime delivery service or whatever#characters that fazbear entertainment should NOT want to market because it'll make their company look bad??#specifically springtrap like. that's the rotting corpse of the infamous serial killer that haunted your establishments for years on end#sorry for the tagent in the tags i just couldn't help it#fnaf#william afton#fnaf cassidy#fnaf crying child#evan afton#jeremy fitzgerald#fnaf jeremy
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Body swap movie where one of them has invisible disabilities and when the other one lands in their body they immediately collapse catatonic on the floor from the pain and fatigue and the first one is like 'oh damn guess I don't have to worry that I'm faking it anymore'
#i have this fantasy of one my able bodied friends and or coworkers occupying my body for like an hour#just to get a real sense of how much i am truly weathering hellfire every day of my life#sometimes i take stock and im like holy crap ive gotten so used to so much#im a frog in a pot and ive convinced myself the bubbling is just fun ambience#my thoughts#invisible disability#chronic illness#chronic pain
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[Abandoned by the Lightners, his heart became cracked with hatred.]
Hitting a lil' too close to home?
#junie art post#ink sans#error sans#utmv#errorink#implied. but yea not the focus#this has been turning around in my mind for quite some time. im glad to finish it lmao idk if my ramblings make sense even.#so like listen. do you ever think about how similar the function of the utmv is to the dark worlds in deltarune.#in a meta narrative to fandom sense? idk the word#we are making exaggerated expanded worlds of the ordinary tools and entertainment of the real world and make it into something more#isnt that very very interesting?#and we explore every sort of possibility in that creation. both good and bad#and when all is said and done. every possibility found and the entertainment and secrets has all run out#we put it away. abandon and leave it behind#what is left? what happens to the world and characters we have created? can it sustain without us?#what of the ones left in the dark?#idk if yall saw me a few months ago but i reblogged comyet's old post of ink begging us not to leave him alone and to keep creating#yea that never left me#and seeing exactly THAT SCENARIO in deltarune made my brain iTCH#imagine an ink in King's position.... wait isnt that just underverse#mmmmmmm. darkner ink.....#also error is here too. not just for errorink or that i can't separate these two to save my life#but error is also one of the few people to be able to GET IT?? he can hear the creators too. ink cant#but hes pretty much programmed himself to avoid having a mental break down to this via reboot memory loss.#and ink has his own internal coping mechanism (hooray for short term memory loss)#these two idiots will do anything but confront truths lmfao#ahhh my favorite idiots. never change#mmmmm#deltarune
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forever thinking about royal’s bad ending. my thing with it is that maruki doesn’t necessarily give anyone what they want most, he gives them what’s most appropriate for them to want within a maruki-approved framework. iirc there’s a really interesting text sequence in the game where he just straight up changes someone’s career because they’re not “good” at it, regardless of whether that’s what they actually want. why struggle at all? ever? right?
and so ultimately i don’t think goro akechi’s greatest wish is necessarily ren. i think it’s a wish for sure, but his greatest wish is his own agency. despite any regrets he has and the fact that shido and yaldabaoth treated him like a pawn, he's generally pretty adamant about owning his choices and their consequences. he doesn't want that erased. and instead, you end up with pleasant boy™ if you take maruki’s deal. maybe maruki (incorrectly) thinks sanding off all of akechi’s rough edges will make him easier for ren to love. but the crux of it is really that maruki has to essentially lobotomize him to preserve the illusion of his perfect reality, because their ideologies are so diametrically opposed that akechi would spend every waking moment fighting back.
this isn’t to undermine ren’s importance to akechi btw — he explicitly acknowledges that he wishes they had met earlier, and there are countless moments throughout their confidant that underscore how much it means to him that they mirror each other so well. he absolutely does want more time with ren, just not under these circumstances.
and that’s also what makes ren’s choice on 2/2 doubly devastating. he knows that either way he loses akechi. and if he takes maruki’s deal, he loses him knowing that his last moments with the real akechi involved the two of them being unforgivably out of sync.
#shuake#ren amamiya#goro akechi#takuto maruki#persona 5#DOES THIS MAKE SENSE#this has been on my mind for ages#siri play ideal and the real dot mp3#like the two of them happily playing chess together hits hard bc in another life they could’ve had that#but the thing is#neither of them want another life! they just want each other as is!#me for the millionth time: takuto maruki most interesting antagonist of all time#tired of all the one dimensional evil villains#give me the pathetic wet cat man who projects his issues w his ex gf onto u and turns ur bf into a stepford wife ❤️#will the real goro akechi please stand up#*#wishing i had the time to replay this game for 3rd sem alone but alas. capitalism strikes again. adulthood is a scam#so instead i am rotating these guys endlessly in my mind and throwing my thoughts out into the void#eta: have really been enjoying seeing ppl's tags on this!!!#thank u for rotating them in ur mind as well
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(typing this as I walk to work so this is not articulate but) thinking a lot abt how les mis w javert sort of. hm. questions? problematizes? the Idea of dogs & the domestication of dogs (metaphorically ofc) like it sort of looks past the 'man's best friend' angle entirely & makes you think things like. kind of fucked up of humans [the social order] to domesticate the wolf [person outside of society for whatever reason] expressly to turn against & cause harm to other wolves in order to keep them out [away from respectable society] & keep themselves safe but never truly consider it an equal [it'll always just be a dog]. kind of fucked up that the dog finds enjoyment & life's purpose in this
#this is NOT to absolve him of responsibility tbc like He Did All That. but it's just soo#idk i think like i said the dog metaphors are way more interesting than in a lot of other stuff bc a lot of stuff is simply unwilling to#question the fundamental idea of a dog if that makes sense. they want it to be a fundamental good thing that can be perverted#but idk 'dogs are good. people and dogs are meant to be together. in a good way' gets conceptually boring really quick#<- to be clear this is not about dogs in real life. i very much like dogs in real life. just abt literary dog metaphors & motifs#thoughts#les mis#i will say though the metaphor in the book is varied & situational so you can't develop a single framework from it this is just one aspect#anyways where's that comic about wolves seeing a dog & thinking 'what a scary fucked up creature'. javert to me sort of
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at first i was like why didn’t they make the sex flashback with shannon clearly a flashback like the others in the episode and then i realized that it wasn’t a flashback eddie’s just actively rewriting his relationship with shannon while eating lunch with his girlfriend and plotting to cheat on her with the random woman he met at a boutique that slightly resembles his dead wife who did in fact ask him for a divorce before she died but eddie’s not gonna remember that detail rn is he
#al talks#911 spoilers#i was like this show thinks i’m dumb but i KNOW that eddie’s room didn’t look like that while shannon was alive#and the show said yeah that’s the fucking point and you are dumb#😔 tea#eddie was like. this is the life i could have had with shannon if she hadn’t died and i’d been Better#obviously if i pursue this with kim i can rewrite the past and get a second chance#because im mentally well and that makes sense :) good job eddie :)#BROTHER. ITS NOT REAL.
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the rise of AI art isn't surprising to us. for our entire lives, the attitude towards our skills has always been - that's not a real thing. it has been consistently, repeatedly devalued.
people treat art - all forms of it - as if it could exist by accident, by rote. they don't understand how much art is in the world. someone designed your home. someone designed the sign inside of your local grocery store. when you quote a character or line from something in media, that's a line a real person wrote.
"i could do that." sure, but you didn't. there's this joke where a plumber comes over to a house and twists a single knob. charges the guy 10k. the guy, furious, asks how the hell the bill is so high. the plumber says - "turning the knob was a dollar. the knowledge is the rest of the money."
the trouble is that nobody believes artists have knowledge. that we actively study. that we work hard, beyond doing our scales and occasionally writing a poem. the trouble is that unless you are already framed in a museum or have a book on a shelf or some kind of product, you aren't really an artist. hell, because of where i post my work, i'll never be considered a poet.
the thing that makes you an artist is choice. the thing that makes all art is choice. AI art is the fetid belief that art is instead an equation. that it must answer a specific question. Even with machine learning, AI cannot make a choice the way we can - because the choices we make have always been personal, complicated. our skills cannot be confined to "prompt and execution." what we are "solving" isn't just a system of numbers - it is how we process our entire existence. it isn't just "2 and 2 is 4", it's staring hard at the numbers and making the four into an alligator. it's rearranging the letters to say ow and it is the ugly drawing we make in the margin.
at some point, you will be able to write something by feeding my work into a machine. it will be perfectly legible and even might sound like me. but a machine doesn't understand why i do these things. it can be taught preferences, habits, statistical probability. it doesn't know why certain vowels sound good to me. it doesn't know the private rules i keep. it doesn't know how to keep evolving.
"but i want something to exist that doesn't exist yet." great. i'm glad you feel creative. go ahead and pay a fucking artist for it.
this is all saying something we all already knew. the sad fucking truth: we have to die to remind you. only when we're gone do we suddenly finally fucking mean something to you. artists are not replicable. we each genuinely have a skill, talent, and process that makes us unique. and there's actual quiet power in everything we do.
#also pay plumbers more. and electricians. and other devalued occupations#idk that this makes sense#but im like#people being so fucking pleased with themselves about the fact they can ''fake'' art#n im like#sure#but what if we stop making things for you huh#what if we stop giving u this stuff anymore#what happens to ur ai art? does it keep growing? does it keep making choices?#why do u need to see us as machines?#''i want X to exist but i don't have the skill to do it''#okay spend literally years of your life studying#''i don't want to do that''#okay pay someone who DID do that#''no i don't think it's a real skill''#okay so. YOU can't do it. and a LOT of people can't do it. but you think WE should be able to?#FOR FREE?#either it has value or it dont baby make up ur OWN mind#btw studying here is not used academically. i think if ur like. constantly knitting.#thats studying#do u spend hours reading and find urself taking notes and learning about writing#ur studying#do you follow other artists and spend a lot of your time trying new things (even unsuccessfully)#that's also studying#etc#was weird to write this thing about choices and then be like. wait why DO i like that
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hm. the final two being scott and cleo. at some point i need to like, properly write an analysis post about scott and cleo and the ways that they like... so the thing is that even since third life the two of them have always kind of fallen back and leaned on each other. widow's alliance to gaslight gatekeep girlboss to chosen soulmates to technically being on different teams from then on but were they really. to "we can't team up again we're too good" in secret life to "he's kind of like your bdubs" in that same series when cleo just sort of assumed they were on the same side anyway (by the way STILL an insane way to put that etho). to teaming up again this time to being the final two to laughing and having fun until the end until a zombie kills scott (like a zombie helped scott kill ren) until cleo doesn't have to be the one to make the final blow. to the "we always do this we always gravitate to each other".
the thing is that it's not so much that they're soulmates, exactly (it's kind of a defining thing about them that they aren't), or that they're one of those star-crossed pairs the life series keeps producing (they don't shape each other, not really). it's that they're both, in the end, always there. a stable pair, a lighthouse and a ship in a storm. the thing that makes them different from so many duos is that there isn't really conflict, not really; they know the shape of one another. their first alliance will often be someone else; their first alliance is also to each other, no matter what they say.
so of course they laughed as they fought in the end.
it was them. it was never really a fight in the first place.
#real life smp#real life spoilers#trafficblr#zombiecleo#scott smajor#am i making any sense.#they're like fascinating to me because they are NOT one of the star-crossed dramatic pairs of the life series#and tbh i do not see it as a ship in any way either#but they are. a pair. they're just... a stable bonded pair. it's not something that's going to change either of them.#but it's something that is always going to be there.
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i dont think i will ever forgive what the internet did to DID because please explain to me how "your sense of self is so torn apart you think youre multiple people" turned into "youre actually multiple people"
do you understand what i mean? please understand what i mean
#kostik speaks#yes cat 3 are real things ive been told and things that honestly really traumatised me and ruined my relationship with myself & disorder#some reassurance im not the only person who finds this super upsetting would be nice#my mental illness: causes harrowing feelings of disconnection from my life and a tendency to disown and/or reject my identity#some people for some fucking reason: reinforces the mental illness in ways never thought possible#i love and appreciate everyone who knows about my bullshit and yet doesnt deny me my personhood or treat me like some freak#i got really triggered about this yesterday so ive deleted the bulk of the tags i wrote (dehumanisation trauma when)#but i stand by this and ive been assured i make sense so sure. posting#this is the real reason i hate giving my disorder by name if you even care. it is specifically this treatment#did tag
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I know this is just a silly bad quality random screencap of a screencap that I found on facebook lol, BUT it's a succinct enough image to easily describe the concept in a quick/accessible way hopefully :
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(and of course, feel free to elaborate in tags, etc.! (especially elaborating about other senses as well.. can you "hear" in your mind just as well as you can "see"? taste? etc.) It's an interesting topic to me, as someone who's like a 4.5 at MOST lol. I'm curious what option will be the most common :0c )
#tumblr polls#hrmm... a little poll perhaps.. about a subject I find interesting.. since this image came across my facebook today#still really not feeling that well. no longer shaking violently and such but I still feel weird and weak much more than usual#They did say my markers for like infection or inflammation were elevated but that they werent sure of the cause so hopefully#it's nothing too serious. they did also say a lot of different things can cause that thing to be higher than normal but didn't go into spec#fics of what. maybe some of them are relatively benign or something. I still havent felt much back to normal since#I got really sick that one time though. I feel fine on and off but then little bouts of feeling weird and sick happen. hrmmm#ANYWAY.. looking for small ways to be productive. such as little doodles on evil ipad or editing game videos#or posting polls or cat pictures or some other like not very labor intensive things#I WISH I COULD FOCUS on writing HHRGGhh... I need to finish my game.. it would be so freeing.. a project that's been looming#over my head for like 5 years even though througouht that 5yrs I've probably spent a total of 3 months working on it lo.. ANYWAY#I still partially really cannot beleive that people CAN see stuff in their heads. There's always part of me that's thinking like. well mayb#e everyone DOES see the same exact thing but we just describe/conceptualize it so differently that we think we're talking about#different things when we're really not. But I have been assured by people I've talked to about it that they can GENUINELY really see#stuff in their heads like as vivid as an actual picture in real life or something. And the other senses are neat too. Like for exmaple I#can hear in my head much better than I can see imagery. I still CANNOT hear vividly like as if I were listening to actual music out loud..#but I think it's developed more than my sight. AND interesting how this varies the creative process. a friend I was talking to on the phone#said they write by literally just watching stuff play before them like a movie. where my process is COMPLETELY different. AND that affects#the content/what details we focus on as well as our individual styles of writing have differences that can be traced back to that.. hrmm
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#kabuto#okay. i'm gonna admit something. pokémon rby came out before i was born. right#pokémon is 5 years older than me. so gen 1 is not a generation that i was intimately familiar with until later on in my life#to me‚ gen 3 is the real gen 1. so i got into other things before i really got into pokémon#and especially before i really got Back into pokémon later on in adulthood#which is to say. i got into naruto. before i really got back into pokémon. as a kid#and thus. this thing's name. makes no sense to me. except through the lens of that one naruto character#with the knife hands. so. i don't know what this thing is#why both gen 1 fossils are water-types#or what this thing's name means#nor did i know that it apparently has two sets of eyes. or. at least looks like it does#i dunno if this is a bellibolt situation but you look under the cut and tell me. i only knew about the red ones
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What's interesting is that yes, there has been plenty of media that has shown superheroes taking political positions. In the United States. What's going on the rest of the world is a backdrop, never mentioned much, you can pretend it's not there.
What if it was inescapable, though? What if Soyuz, the New Soviet Man, suddenly sank an US aircraft carrier bombing the Middle East? Isn't he fighting evil too? Or a Cuban superhero joins the revolution and spreads it over Latin America, and no, no vague villain stuff here, he isn't a random narco or bank robber criminal you know, he read his stuff, he is commited to creating the Patria Grande Socialista. Ah, you thought you were the only ones with superpowers, you fucking yanqui hijos de mil puta?
#cosas mias#what would happen? they would be cast as villains of course! only superheroes from the US can be heroes#there is a certain sense of US untouchability in real life like when US soldiers were confused and traumatized#when people started shooting them back in Iraq or recently in Yemen#(also yes I've read Superman Red Son but I don't have the time to do a full post on it)
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ever since like midde school, ive had this vague goal of "being done with everything" in the sense that I have no homework overdue, no projects im neglecting, nothing I need to get done but am not. As an adult I still kind of cling to this idea that I could be totally 'done' with everything. All bills and debts paid, all appointments made and gone to, all my chores done and my apartment totally clean, pets taken care of at the vet, car in perfect working condition. No calls to make, no forms to fill out, no obligations I'm neglecting. Just totally and completely 'done'
I know its a fake ideal now, as a teen I thought you could actually be done with everything but now I know there's always going to be some fucking thing. ALWAYS.
#i think most people feel this sentiment in one way or another#but i always thought there'd be some kind of enlightened state of being achieved if i#got done with everything#Like id finally be winning at life in a very real literal sense#oh well
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#so the draft horses server recently banned jokes about real life tragedies which like fair enough makes sense#but idk if this counts as a 9/11 joke or if this is a joke about 9/11 jokes so im posting it here instead#enjoy#mlp#my little pony#anxietymonstrr#falloutfurret#timsplosion#candycane rose#sprocket#graphite sketch#art#comic#9/11
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how did the writers of DE make it so addicting to try and get Kim to like... smile near-imperceptibly at you in the flickering light of a cigarette glow. genuinely about to write a google docs page of word salad on this and how the way it's so irrelevant and almost certainly fruitless makes it so tantalizing
#disco elysium#rachel and i were ranting last night after the 1st day balcony convo. like it's so compelling because you KNOW it's not what you're here fo#there's so much more important going on here. you're solving a murder. you don't know who you ARE and trying to redevelop your entire sense#of self. but it's so real-life yearning to meet someone and feel an intrigue and try your best to work some magic there in the short#window you sense yourself in. because opportunity is not a lengthy visitor. and you want this world to open up for you
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i know probably nobody following me is even relatively in this fandom but I just finished s5 of the dragon prince and I gotta tell you. the canonical lovechild of the gay-coded villains was not something I saw coming
#OLD MAN YAOI MPREG REAL?????????#when he said OUR child I stg I have never been more shocked appalled and enthralled in my life#like it makes sense of course it was made from a joining of....... fluids.........#magic sex ritual tbh#and then to immediately divorce??#I can't believe this shit#the dragon prince#tdp#viren#aaravos#viren x aaravos#viravos#they've always been strangely compelling in a deeply fucked up way but I didn't think the show knew that#they said we've given you 4.9 seasons of some of the best queer rep on tv#now get ready for the most toxic shit you can imagine
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