#and like. i dont think I will ever understand the true scale of this shit. but this movie at least. helps me start to realize.

[yonpote]

no that’s the thing you’re so right ab rpf because like it’s not that people don’t find it weird but it has also a) existed for SO long and b) is actually sometimes socially acceptable depending on who is doing it and about whom. like many old wives tales or stories based on kings of past were all written by people who were far removed from the subjects of their story they just wrote what they believed to be true or interesting ab those people - it wasn’t like hard hitting fact reporting. they’re “stories” for a reason yknow? and i totally get that in the modern age the fact that people can be confronted by rpf is what actually makes people so upset about it - because the degrees of separation are far lesser - but the act itself isn’t more or less strange than it ever was. it’s totally based on like how close the shipping is to the people being shipped. like the question is can their relationship actually be affected by it? even i went through this on a small scale when i was 11 and my best friend’s new guy friends started teasing him about how much time he always spent with me and saying we liked each other and it made us super uncomfortable to the point that we kinda stopped being friends! which sucked! or like when moms want their kids to end up together so they constantly talk about how they’re going to be sisters in law one day when their kids get together and put on that pressure. those circumstances are not okay bc it’s like crossing clear boundaries by trying to tell people directly what their relationship to each other should be. but when it’s like a niche little community that’s (hopefully) minding their business removed from the person they’re making rpf about it’s like entirely a non-issue in my opinion. like the very existence of rps and rpf are kinda natural human inclinations i think. okay rant over lmao sorry i rambled

youre absolutely right! like personally i can't really get into any other rpf because like, it HAS hurt online creators / modern celebs in and it would be foolish to act like it doesn't have that power ykwim? but bc dnp have stated that they're fine with it and have even embraced it on some level, and especially because we all have much better established boundaries (as in both dnp AND we as an audience have set boundaries wrt fan content), and because dnp are actually queer, i do feel a lot better about rpfing them lol. but that's not to say rpfers that don't have explicit consent from creators are evil like dont worry yall i still believe in "rpf is fine!" i think it really is about having the understanding that rpf is meant to be separate from the real people being written about. i mean if you really think about it, it's not like it was all fic writers themselves tweeting at dnp to read their smut. it was people who saw this insane crack fic about dnp having gory bloody sex involving a hamster, and being like "omg this shit is so weird and gross and horrible dan and phil have to see it and react to it." (but that fic is maybe a bad example because it was MEANT to be shocking and horrible and not like. an earnest exploration of a taboo sexual experience or some shit.)

like, rpf's modern reputation is BECAUSE the primary fics that have garnered any attention are the ones that are meant to be shocking and weird and freak people out. and there's exceptions to everything i say and i wasn't involved in 2012-2016 phandom culture so i'm sure there were plenty of people being like hey dnp read my relatively wholesome 20k fluff smut fic that makes references to that video that you want everyone to pretend doesnt exist, but just based on being friends with a lot of people who were involved in the phandom at that time, that definitely was not the case with every or even most fic authora or fanartists.

i mean, one of the reasons dnp became the tag and acronym people used was to separate the community from the phan tag because people knew that dnp were well aware of that tag. and now they know about dnp so it's kind of a moot point, but i think it's important to establish that, while we are better at respecting their boundaries nowadays, THEY also respect OUR boundaries. they don't go diving into tags intentionally unless they are making content about it, and even then it is an opt-in process where WE can send them stuff that we do want them to see! and that's an extremely important part of this audience-creator relationship that we do have this mutual respect of each other, and mutual understanding of bants toward each other (they can mock us for being giddy about them touching, but we can also be like "damn yall are really obsessed with touching each other thats crazy...." and there's, for the most part, an understanding that we're just teasing and being silly like it's cute that they touch and they like being close but we can joke about it)

[kulemii]

i got really mad at myself because i felt like i was a shit writer since all i put out was smut and i felt like i was incapable of making anything else. i felt like i boxed myself in and didn't hone any reputable skills. i suck at describing shit. i dont know my characters. my mind felt so blocked up all the time. i know there are things that i put out that people seem to like but i feel like i'll never be able to top those things. my abandoned projects? 10-Nen for example, i was going through hell writing Fun & Games but i told myself that i was doing it for me. to try to get a good grasp on the way i write kiryu but no one would find it even if i did post it. so i did. and then the comments came. and OF COURSE they were flattering, i dont wanna diminish that but they made me hold what people like about my stories under a microscope and i tried to do more of that and once i started doing that, it all stopped coming to me

so i said i'd forget about what people say and go back to what i was doing before, writing to better my skills (or whatever i can call it) and yet nothing came to me. i was always worried that no matter how much effort i put into it, it wont be as good anymore, people wont like it anymore. and it stopped coming to me.

so i said forget about what people say, forget about getting better, write to understand the characters and the worlds i create for them. and then i felt every single thing i ever knew about them all dissolve before my eyes and every single character became a stranger to me. if i wrote in that state, it most definitely wont be good enough.

so i stopped. i told myself that i was done with writing. i would try to finish this one big project and sure, if i sporadically get the motivation to work on other things, i'd cross that bridge when i got there- but intentionally writing? i said that once doal was done, so was i. forget the wips. no more from me.

but then i stopped being able to work on doal because it no longer came to me. this was the one thing that i was working on that felt like it was going to be good. the one thing that i can do and i know for sure no one else would care enough to scale, but now i dont even have that.

i talked to my therapist a little while ago about these thoughts and she was pretty much like "you know what? you seem to operate on a scale of Good or Bad. in life but even your hobbies. what if you made decisions based on what you like instead of whether it's going to result in something good or bad. what if it wasnt so black and white? what if you just let yourself have fun. enjoy yourself?" that's basically the gist of what she said. i dont have a direct quote lol

since then I've been thinking about it on and off and im like damn, i stopped liking writing a long time ago. and it was because i always felt that nothing i could make would be good enough. but if i did just write to indulge in myself, to explore MY fantasies, to just have fun, maybe everything else will just fall into place?

for at least two and a half years, I've been lying to myself saying 'oh i write for me. that's why i dont take requests' but it wasnt true. when i was writing i was always thinking about if You Guys would like it and i was keeping parts of me out of my writing because i didnt think it was going be Good Enough for You. but im done with that. the truth is, i'll never know what you guys want. unless im opening the door for that dialogue but i dont take requests. i need to get back to thinking about me. writing for me. enjoying my craft for me and saying to myself 'if no one else likes it, fine because i love it.'

if, when i can do that, I'll go back to loving what i do. and everything else will come naturally. be it smut, fluff, a multi-chapter drama or even a fucking fake game that no one but me cares about.

i cant wait to get there

[shawnjacksonsbs]

https://fb.watch/oxOZ-3gXqV/?mibextid=Nif5oz

(Copy n paste to see the video)*

The recipe IS for disaster, without all the ingredients, obviously. 11/25/23

"It's in every one of us to be wise

Find your heart

Open up both your eyes

We can all know everything

Without ever knowing why

It's in every one of us, by and by" - John Denver

I need to open with a very special shout to my girlfriend.

It's her birthday, and she had a lot going on and has been handling as best she can.

She has done so much for me these last few years and "thankful" doesn't sound like enough, but it's true.

Keep her in your thoughts, your hearts, and even your prayers as she moves into her surgery this week.

Happy birthday, Bayba. 143!

~

Every time I wanna say, " Man, can't my family catch a break?"I reminded that it doesn’t really work like that.

And it's not karma.

It's randomness.

Not all of it, or all of them, but some has more to do with their choices anyway.

Not that they deserve some of it, or any of it, and not at all that I don't want them to catch a break, but we are just part of the randomness.

The world is full of hurt and suffering. Some of us have to be the strength until they are strong, and the example until they are good.

I was tagged, as is par for the course by someone I care about several days ago in a video that's attached, and my here's my response because, once again I feel it's important. Especially as we step off into the season of peace, love, and brotherhood.

-- I stay torn with this same . . .

I believe he speaks some truth if you skip the parts that aren't.

It's 2023, and I can't believe that there are still people out in the world that don't think white privilege is a thing in a lot of the U.S.

Privileges play a part in so many areas; white privilege, class privilege, religious privilege, sex, sexualality, and even cultural privilege are real prevalent issues.

If there are disadvantaged groups anywhere of anything(s), that means there are people who, for an easier explanation, catch breaks because they don't feel the disadvantages for the same reasons, if it all.

People still correlating white privilege to mean not having to work (or work hard) for theirs don't really understand the meaning, I think.

I don't believe white people are born racists, but plenty are created after birth.

I also agree with him that racism transcends and racism against whites is also a thing in certain areas.

Systemically, it's probably not as likely to hold back white people from reaching successes. Its smaller scale in our country. Other countries I imagine it's a whole thing.

I also don't know enough about critical race theory to really converse, but my understanding if it breaks down how racist shit was implemented into our culture and society back in the days when NO ONE denied it was racism, then I'm confused why the truth is bad.

Our country is lost.

People still think Columbus landed in the U.S. and that early settlers were all friendly with natives here.

There are plenty of pictures of "Whites only" signs that are in circulation today that were printed in color then. How could there not be residual affects from that? Lol --

I feel a lot of different ways about a lot of different things, especially has to be weird that I look like people who dont, and live where people hold such strong opposing views. I imagine it's hard to tell until we speak, though, because people everywhere will start whole ass conversations leaning the other way, and I'll be like . . ."hold up". Lol

On the one hand, and before I close, karma still isn't real. Randomness and chaos still play equal parts with your perspective, which is the only true ally we have in life. Want to be happy? Change the way you see things.

You're sad, change the way you see things.

Angry, same thing.

You control most of you and can guide yourself through most of your uncomfortablenesses.

You aren't what happens to you, which isn't based on you getting good because you do good or vice versa.

You are how you think, feel, and act about what happens to you because you want to be good, (or vice versa). You are how all of your senses perceive your circumstance accumulated until now.

And now.

And now.

Now.

To include future "nows" as you arrive to them.

Most everyone I know has a good heart inside them, but most, including myself, have intricately woven hang-ups that need to be dealt with. I say need, as I speak for what I believe we all need, not what you may want.

Not everyone wants as much good as others, and some just don't care enough to think about it at all.

Maybe this is a lot.

Be kind as always as you possibly can, and civil where you can't.

And never forget to share your love and your laughter with the world you live in.

P.s. there will be people who would be sad if you weren't here one day. Really think about that as step away from . . taking things for granted.

It's all important, maybe not to you but to someone.

Until next week;

"We had the recipe, but we didn't have the ingredients" - Dave Chappelle

[faecaribou]

it is so fucked up that there are people who havent seen schindlers list or have seen it and didnt realize that its a true story

if you see this post and havent watched it I highly recommend that you do

[xoxo-teddybear]

What Have I Done? - Bakugou Katsuki

Bakugou x f!reader

Warnings: Angst, Physical injuries, cursing

Summary: An argument gone out of hand. Y/N just wanted Katsuki to be home more. They’re married and yet she barely sees him throughout the week. When she finally speaks on her hurt feelings, she gets a reaction she definitely wasn’t expecting.

Chapter 1 -> Chapter 2

A/N:.....I cried while writing this.

BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST

‘He’s gone already. Again. Like always.’

Y/N had awoken to another empty bed. Her husband’s side of the mattress remained cold and empty. This wasn’t anything new. It’s been like this for the past few months. She would wake up alone, eat breakfast alone, spend her day alone, eat dinner alone, and go back to sleep at the end of the day...alone.

It’s not that Katsuki is intentionally ignoring Y/N. He loves her with his everything, he truly does! But villains never rest and neither does he. He’s so preoccupied with hero work that when he does get a day off, his friends drag him away to a bar or game night. Y/N always ran through his head but she had always been so understanding. And besides, she knows how busy the life of a pro is. She used to be one so she gets it. Right?

Wrong. She doesn’t get it. Because even when she was a pro, her and Katsuki always found time for each other. And ever since said man made her quit, claiming he could take care of both of them easily and he would feel better knowing his beloved is safe at home, they’ve seen each other less and less. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. Y/N was willing to quit her dream because she found a new dream in Katsuki. She always imagined that being his little housewife would give them more time together but the opposite of that came true. Now she sits in the big empty house with no company for hours on end.

Her sadness builds up every day. She misses her husband. She tries to be an understanding wife but at this point, it’s like he’s not even trying to make an effort to see her. It’s like he’s settled to just coming home to her sleeping form and waking up to her in the exact same state, leaving before he can witness her do anything else. He should understand her though, no? I mean, she had brought it up to him in a very casual way and so he never took it seriously, but she’s mentioned it before. He should have a pretty vivid image of how shes been feeling. Right?

After 6 months of loneliness and being ‘Katsuki-deprived,’ Y/N made her move to speak to her husband about her feelings. She already imagined the outcome. An argument due to Katsuki’s brash behavior and her ‘never back down’ attitude, sad times bringing in the silent treatment for the two of you up until the both of you give in and forgive each other due to the love you have. Finally ending in a compromise. Y/N released a heavy breath as she looked at the time.

1:36 a.m. Just a few more minutes until Katsuki’s home.

—

He was pissed. 3 large scale bank robberies, 10 villain-wannabe fights, an argument with his publicist about his ‘out of line attitude,’ and Deku replacing him on a random ass billboard. The last detail wouldn’t have mattered if it was anybody else but the fact that it was Deku had him riled up. He just wanted to go home to a quiet house with his beautiful wife and admire her gorgeous, slumbering state. However that was not what he was greeted with.

Katsuki grumbled as he unlocked the front door and walked in. He noticed the lights were still on and saw Y/N still awake, seated on the couch. On any other day, he’d be elated to see his wife was still up. They’d talk and cuddle and go to sleep together. If he was lucky, they’d both make love until the sun rose. But tonight, that wouldn’t be happening. He wanted a quiet house with his sleeping wife. Not..whatever was about to happen. He sighed as he dropped his bag at the front door and sloppily placed his keys in the glass bowl near the door.

“What’re you doing up dumbass?” He asked as he walked to the kitchen, not even bothering to take off his shoes. He needed a drink.

“I was waiting for you, Katsuki. I just wanted to talk to you about something,” you said in a soft voice, hoping it would suppress his for sure incoming anger. Katsuki closed the fridge with a kick to the heavy door and chugged down a quarter of his drink.

“I’m not in the mood. Had a shitty day and I wanna sleep. Just go to bed.” He said sternly while trying to finish his beer as fast as he could.

“Don’t you think I would’ve done that hours ago? I wouldn’t have stayed up and waited for you if this wasn’t important. Please Katsuki, I really wanna talk.” Bakugou was beginning to grow annoyed. Why wouldn’t you just drop it already? He squeezed his bottle hard enough for it too crack before he spoke with a louder voice.

“Y/N! You’re not listening! I’m tired. I had a horrible day and I just want to sleep. I don’t want to talk, I don’t want to stay up anymore, and I don’t want to listen to whatever bullshit you’re about to complain and bitch about like you always do!” He screamed. His words made your jaw drop.

“Not listening?! That’s all I do! All I do is listen to your every command so that you come home happy-“

“Well it looks like you failed today!” He said, cutting you off.

“Quit interrupting! And what was it that you said?! All I do is bitch and complain?! I’m trying to talk to you about something serious here Katsuki!” You pleaded, still hoping he would give in and listen. And he did...just not in the way you’d expect.

“Fine then! If this’ll get you to quit being an annoying ass waste of time, then speak! Talk! What the hell do you want?!” He asked, screaming at you, furious at all the dramatics you’ve brought up in one night.

His words kind of stung. ‘Annoying ass? Waste of time? Is this what he thinks I am?’ You grew silent at his insults and Katsuki seethed even more.

“Oh what? I scream at you and you bitch up? Toughen up Y/N, jeez. Quit acting like a baby! Tell me what you wanted to say!” He yelled.

“.......I just....I just wanted you to spend some time with me. .....Be home more.” You said in a quiet and broken voice. You looked down to the now very interesting floor as you played with your hands.

“Seriously? This shit again? I’m a pro-hero, Y/N! I’m busy! I’m not gonna drop saving lives just because your brat ass wants someone to notice you! Since when were you such an attention whore?” He asked while rolling his neck to relieve his strained muscles. Your eyes widen at the ground due to his words and your head snapped back up to face him.

“A-attention whore? I-...I just want my husband to stop working so much. I don’t know..maybe have a day off or two!” She said with a crinkled nose as you screamed.

“I do have days off, Moron. It’s why I’m not overworked, ever thought about that?!” He screamed back.

“And you spend those days off away from me! I’m not trying to act like the world revolves around me but I would hope my own husband would spend a day with me instead of his friends that he ALWAYS sees because you ALL WORK TOGETHER!” You argued. You made a valid point and even Katsuki knew that, but he was too stubborn to admit defeat. He was still tired but he had enough energy to put you back in your place. His eyes popped as a vein grew on his neck.

“Well- WELL YOU’RE ONCE AGAIN JUST BITCHING AND COMPLAINING LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO! I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY YOU’RE SO UPSET!” He screamed.

“Don’t understand?! You know what? I know you don’t because you never listen to-“

“SHUT THE FUCK UP, I WASNT DONE TALKING! ALL YOU DO IS SIT AROUND THE HOUSE, LAZING AROUND, DOING NOTHING BUT TRY TO ARGUE WITH-“

“LAZING AROUND?!” You shouted in disbelief. “WHO MAKES YOUR MEAL PREP THE NIGHT BEFORE SO YOU CAN ENJOY IT AT WORK AND IN THE MORNING? WHO CLEANS THE ENTIRE HOUSE EVERYDAY WHILE YOU’RE GONE? WHO MAKES SURE YOU HAVE A FULL FRIDGE, CLEAN HOUSE, GOOD FOOD, AND A HAPPY LIFE? ME KATSUKI! ME!”

“Happy life? DO I LOOK HAPPY TO YOU BITCH?! NEWSFLASH, IM NOT! SO CONGRATS Y/N! YOU FAILED ONCE AGAIN! AND WHO GIVES A FUCK IF YOU PLAY MAID WHILE IM AWAY?! IM BUSY SAVING THE FUCKING WORLD! THE LEAST YOU COULD DO IS BE A GOOD WIFE SINCE YOU CANT EVEN BE A FUCKING PRO ANYMORE!” He insulted again.

“because of FUCKING YOU!” You argued once more.

“I DID IT FOR YOU!” He said while throwing his bottle to the wall, causing it to shatter. “I DO EVERYTHING FOR YOUR UNGRATEFUL BITCH ASS! I PAY THE BILLS! I BRING HOME THE CASH! I GIVE YOU THE MONEY TO BUY ALL THE FUCKING FOOD, CLOTHES, AND ANY OTHER STUPID SHIT YOU WANT! AND ON TOP OF THAT, I STUFF YOUR STUPID CUNT TO PLEASURE YOUR UNGRATEFUL ASS. AT THIS POINT, YOU’RE JUST A WALKING HOLE FOR ME TO USE!”

His words hurt. They broke your heart. Did he really feel this way? If so, why was he even with you anymore. You notice a smirk grow on his face at your bewildered state. He looked as if he just won something. However, the smirk dropped into a scowl once he saw your eyes begin to pool with tears.

“Oh great! Cry! Go ahead! Just shed your fucking tears like you always do! I’m going to bed! Come join me when you’re done being an annoying bitch.” He said and stuffed his hands in his pockets as he began to walk away. You didn’t want the conversation to go this way and there was no conclusion. You needed this to be resolved now. You just wanted your husband back. You reached out to stop him from walking but the unforeseen happened.

“Katsuki..don’t walk away from thi-“

“DONT FUCKING TOUCH ME!” He said and smacked your arms away with a burning palm. Without realizing, Katsuki began to spark his quirk and so when he went in to push you away, he burned your forearm.

A loud blast and smoke filled the room and your screams of pain invaded his ears. The sound made a shocked face grow on him as he quickly turned to see the damaged he had caused. His heart sank as he saw you crying while holding your burnt arm with your other hand. You were slightly hunched over in pain as you took notice of the damage that had been caused. That he caused.

“Y/N!” Bakugou softly shouted as he ran to you. He wanted to help but before he could even lay a finger on you, you flinched. The action caused him to hesitate and hold himself back. He ran to the kitchen sink to get a cold rag and he brought it back to you. “Baby! I am so sor-“

You pushed him away and off of you as you quickly walked to your bedroom with a shadow casted over your eyes. Tears still flowed down your cheeks as sniffles could be heard from your cherry red nose. Katsuki couldn’t believe what he just did and ran to follow you.

“Y/N! Please listen! I didn’t mean it! I don’t know how that happened Teddy Bear but I swear I didn’t mean it! I swear I didn’t mean any of the bullshit I said! I’m sor-“

*SLAM* *click!*

Katsuki realized he followed you out the kitchen, through the living room, up the stairs, and to the entrance of the master bedroom you both shared before you slammed the door and locked it right in his face.

“Baby! Please open the door!” He said while knocking in a very rushed manner. He wanted nothing more than to help you and treat the damage he caused to his beloved wife. He had royally fucked up. He began turning and jiggling the locked knob in an attempt to get it open but failed. “Please Y/N! I have to take care of you and that burn. I’m so sorry but please let me in!”

On the other side of the door, you pressed your back against it as you held in your sobs and slid to the bottom. You pulled both lips in to conceal your voice while you held your wrist to examine the burn on your arm. It was so bad. Your skin turned an angry shade of red as it blistered and bled. You were dripping blood all over your carpeted floor and so you ran to the master bathroom in the bed room.

You turned on the sink and placed your forearm under the cold, running water. The water soothed it a bit but it wasn’t enough to cover the pain. You turned off the sink and grabbed a hand rag as you patted down on your wound. You took out the first aid kit and cared for yourself. You had to take the alcohol to clean it and sucked in a breath before you poured the solution over the burn. You screamed as it seemed to have hurt 10x more. After dabbing cotton over it, you wrapped it in bandages and took a breath of relief.

‘What just happened?’ You thought to yourself.

The entire time, Katsuki was still begging for you to open up. He heard your scream and grew frantic. He banged on the door and cried for you, still hoping, praying, that you would let him in. When nothing happened, he resorted back to calling out for you but to no avail.

About an hour went by and it was almost 4 in the morning. You sat on the bed with your arms holding your knees to your chest. You stared at the wrap as the memories of what went down tonight flashed through your brain.

‘Waste of time...brat ass...attention whore...ungrateful...annoying bitch.’

His words struck you right in your heart. Cruel thoughts began to fill your head.

‘He doesn’t love me. He hates me. I’m worthless.’ Your thoughts would’ve continued until a quiet knock snapped you out of you mind.

“....Y/N?...Baby?” It was Katsuki of course, but a softer version of him. A broken one. “..I don’t know if you’re listening or if you’re awake..but I need you to know that I’m so so sorry.” It was easy to hear his muffled and staggered voice that exposed his tears and sobs. “If I could turn back time right now, I would do tonight all over again, I swear. I would’ve came home and listened to you. And we could’ve talked things out. We would’ve came out of this problem being a stronger couple than we were before...because that’s what we always do. We always make it out of the dark together..because we’re a team..and I need you. .....Please...please don’t leave me Y/N. I love you so much. ‘M so sorry that I hurt you..that I burned you..that I’m such a terrible husband. But I promise you I’ll fix everything in the morning...................Teddy Bear?”

He didn’t know it, but you were listening. You heard every word but refrained from speaking. You knew that the second you did, you’d break down and go crawling back to him....but you didn’t want to do that. You wanted to leave. He physically burned you and you wanted to leave. You were going to sleep for a few hours, and when you would awaken, you would pack a bag and leave. And so, you began your plan and tried to get some sleep as tear streaks marked your face. It would all be over soon.

You woke up to the morning sun.

6:50 a.m.

You rose out of bed and rubbed at your puffy eyes. You quietly got ready in the bathroom and applied the slightest bit of makeup to look more presentable. You took out a pair of shoes and tossed them to the center of the room. You were in your closet and pulled out a bag. You stuffed it full of a few clothes for you to wear, you couldn’t stay here. Not after what he did. You fought through the pain as you pulled on your jacket and placed your shoes on. You wiped your tears as you picked up your purse and got ready to leave. You were going to stay in a hotel. Didnt matter where or how expensive. You just needed to get away.

Finally, you walked to the exit of the bedroom. You took a breath before you slowly turned the knob and was greeted with the sight of a sleeping Bakugou. He had slept in the hallway in front of the bedroom, still wearing the same clothes from the night before. His knees were scrunched up with his arms resting there to be used as a pillow. He layed his head atop of his arms and as you looked down into his hands, you saw the rag. The exact rag from the argument. The rag that he attempted to use to help you. Little did you know, Bakugou hadn’t planned on getting rid of it until you let him use it to help you. He wanted nothing more than to fix his mistake and cater to you and your wound.

You shook your head as you felt tears began to fill your eyes but you refused to let them fall. You took a step and sadly awoken the exact man you were trying to avoid. Bakugou had quickly woken up when he heard the slightest noise and was blessed with the beauty that is you. He looked up at you with wide eyes and a small smile.

“Y/N...” was what he whispered before he quickly got up to run to you.

“Y/N!” He ecstatically said with a hint of relief. He was about to wrap him arms around you but you kept a hand at his chest to keep him at bay. “Baby?...”

Bakugou looked at you with hurt and confused eyes when you didn’t welcome his embrace. Even when you were mad at him, you still allowed him to hold you so what gives? He looked at you and your attire. He noticed your jacket and shoes and saw you holding a bag. “W-what are you doing?”

You walked away from him but he snatched your wrist to make you turn to face him. “Y/N! What’s going on?!” He frantically asked with crazed eyes. You snatched your wrist back and ran down the stairs and he copied your actions. He followed you into the living room until he grabbed your wrist once more. You tried to pull away again but found it harder because this time, he gripped it tight.

“W-where are you going baby?”

“Dont call me that.”

“What? Why? Baby, please tell me what’s going on.” He begged as he squeezed your wrist.

“What’s going on? Are you serious? What does it look like? I’m leaving!” Bakugou’s eyes went wide once more and shook his head.

“N-no! No, why!?”

“Why?! Look at my arm!” You screamed.

“I know! I know and I’m so sorry! But..but you don’t have to go! I can fix you up, I’ll take you to recovery girl, I will bring you to the best hospitals around the world to fix that for you! Just please don’t go!” He bargained and offered everything but you weren’t budging.

“It’s not just the burn Bakugou.” You deadpanned with a nonchalant face. His heart felt heavy after hearing your voice refer to him with his family name.

“..I-it’s Katsuki! Your Katsuki! It’s Suki, baby please!” Bakugou stepped closer as he cried once more but you backed away again. His hold on your wrist still strong as his fingers played with the ring on your hand, trying to calm himself down and remind himself that you are still his wife.

You shook your head at his pleading. “Bakugou. You burned me. But not only that, you’ve neglected me for months.”

“I know that! And I’m sorry! I will spend just as much time off of work to make it up to you, I swear I will, I promise!” He once again bargained.

“It’s too late.”

“No it’s not, please, it can’t be!”

“It is Bakugou-“

“KATSUKI! ....please...please don’t call me that. I’m your Katsuki,” he said with a whimpering voice. At this point you felt the tears come through, but you still didn’t allow them to fall.

“Katsuki...I can’t stay here. Too much damage has been done.” You said with a soft voice. Bakugou continued to shake his head ‘no,’ but you already made up your mind. You used your wind quirk in your hand and blew his grip off your wrist. You took the quick opportunity to walk to the door but Bakugou grabbed your bag off your shoulder in a childish panic and attempt to get you to stay.

“Hey!-“

“Please Y-Y/N! Please don’t leave me! I- I know I’ve been a terrible husband! I’m sorry! B-But I promise I’ll do better. I’ll stay at home more, I’ll spend more time with you, Please!”

“Katsu-“

“I’ll buy you whatever you want! I’ll get you all the expensive brands, I’ll find you all the best jewelry, I’ll give you all the money in the world! I’ll give you the whole world! Please stay! I love you so much Y/N!”

“Katsuki, give me back my bag,” you tried to reach for it but Bakugou kept it away from you and pulled you in with one arm and held you in a tight embrace as he cried on your shoulder.

“Please...you can’t do this to me. I need you. I love you! I’ll do better! I’ll be a better husband, I swear..just please don’t go.” He softly spoke with a broken voice and soft hiccups. It was wrong for you to do this, but you sighed and pretended to forgive him as you wrapped your arms around his torso. You hugged him tight and he fell for it as he openly sobbed now. His other arm that held your bag came to wrap around your waist but before it could, you snatched the bag out of his hold and pushed him away. You ran to the door and held a tight grip on the knob as you picked up your car keys. You saw Katsuki attempt to run back to you but you created a strong barrier of wind to protect you. “IM SORRY Y/N! PLEASE DONT!”

You took off your ring and tossed it to him through the barrier. He was quick to catch it and hold it right in fear of losing it. He had to find a way to get it back on your finger. “No..baby...Teddy Bear please!”

“....I’ll send you the divorce papers....Goodbye Katsuki.”

With that, you walked out of the door, still keeping the barrier alive. Once you started the car, you dispersed of the wind and Bakugou opened the door and ran to your car.

“Y/N wait! Please!” He cried out but he was too late. You pulled out of the driveway and drove off quickly down the street. He watched your car go as he began hyperventilating and tugging at his ash blonde locks. He ran back inside the house with your ring in hand as he looked for his phone. He found it on the kitchen island and quickly dialed your number. Of course, it went straight to voicemail but that didn’t stop him from calling about 50x more.

“This-...this has to be some stupid dream. A fucking nightmare...” he said as he tried to hide in denial. “Yeah...a nightmare. This is what it is...I’ll..I’ll wake up soon and she’ll be by my side in the morning...sleeping peacefully...and I’ll take the whole week off and spend it with her. She won’t be mad, we’ll be happy like we always are. S-She won’t leave me.”

Bakugou had an insane smile on his face with eyes of distraught on him. He clumsily made his way back to his bedroom where he flopped onto the large mattress and tried to get some sleep. He would sleep the whole day away if it meant you’d still be by his side when he woke up. The ring you abandoned was held tight in the palm of his hand as he held it close to his chest. His sobs overcame him but did aid in his journey to slumber. Eventually, he knocked out and a smile of bliss adorned his face as he assumed you would still be there in the morning.....oh how wrong he was.

The very next day, he woke up at 5:30 like he always did and quickly looked to your side of the bed. It was cold and empty. He was lonely. The exact same feeling you got everytime you woke up without seeing him for the past 6 months.

6 months. You’ve been married for 4 years and together for 8. Out of those 8 years, Bakugou spent 6 months neglecting you..and now...he lost you.

He stared at the empty space and bawled his eyes out like a baby as he screamed. He got out of bed and walked to the kitchen. Maybe you were cooking breakfast! You weren’t. Kitchen was empty. He ran to the living room! Maybe you were just watching some TV and reading a book, looking all cute and domesticated like you usually did. No, you weren’t there either. Bakugou checked every room in the house and when he couldn’t find you..he snapped.

His heart beated at a rapid pace as he trashed the entire house. Breaking windows, flipping desks, smashing furniture. He used his quirk to create blasts and burn marks into the walls and floors of the house. He did everything to get his frustrations out. The entire time he shouted and cried as rivers of tears flowed down his cheeks.

When he was done, he sat in the middle of the destroyed living room, laying his back against the flipped couch. He sat with his knees scrunched up as he hunched over, staring at the ground. His nose and eyes and basically his entire face grew puffy and red. His hair was a mess and so was he. Silent tears continued to drop, but his throat was too dry and hurt far too much for him to make anymore noise. However, he did fight through the pain to say one final thing:

“What have I done?”

A/N: hi cubsss! So a lot of you may know that my very first post, writing piece, and short story (He’s Lost) was created around angst, a breakup, and the fact that the triggering point was Bakugou physically hurting Y/N. I’ve been thinking about it and I HATE MY WRITING IN THE FIRST POST! It was terrible! Why tf did y’all like it so much?😭 And so, I’ve created a new piece revolving around the same elements, sorta as a way to check my progress. I hope you enjoyed!

ALSO!!! If you guys like this enough, I’m willing to turn it into a small yandere short story if you Cubs are down for that. Let me know and I’ll make it happen! Love you Cubs! See you next time🧸💗

[ongoing-catastrophe]

ok but seriously can we talk about how the very basics of modern business launching go against every tenant of a healthy economy that even the most beginner of economics students are taught. in order of what you're taught in econ class - supply and demand work in tandem, graphs are great, monopolies are bad.

guess what the modern marketplace teaches tho? NOT basic economics. most people going in to the startup ecosystem, trying to build their businesses, tragically dont know shit about macroeconomics. they know (basic) stock market stuff, some accounting, and some business sense, but none of the young people being sold on the startup millionaire dream seem to know what they're creating. let me help you out with that.

incase you dont know the very basics, startups work with 3 main forms of investors: seed funding, venture capitalists (VC's), and angel investors. Seed funding is money from friends and family, bank loans, your own savings, etc. Any business has all of that. Angel investors are essentially rich people who keep businesses as sugar babies because they believe in them, and ask for a pretty bare minimum in return. The VC's are where it gets messy.

See, if you've ever watched something like Shark Tank, you'll know that VC's take a share of your company to help you grow it. They'll provide advice, outreach, pull strings, all that jazz. But thats not the end of the story. Yes, they want your small business getting huge and profitable, because having shares in it makes them money. But more importantly, they want it to grow big enough that a big market competitor out there looks at it and thinks "i want that" and buys it from you at a price you can't refuse.

This is where the understanding of macroeconomics becomes important. Someone started a business because existing megabrand wasn't catering to an existing demand, and they fill the gap in the market either based on price, quality or product. Basic econ, right? Well, they grow big! because they have a good product, there's more competition in the market than there was before. Competition is good! it keeps prices low and quality high, because businesses have to compete more for the same market share. Basic economics! Theres variety in the market, theres well matched supply and demand, theres good healthy market competition. The economy is healthy, the customers are happy. And then the VC's decide they want their money.

See, most of these small businesses wouldnt be able to scale up without the additional investment VC's provide. They cant afford the infrastructure, or they cant cross a certain manufacturing threshold before they start losing money. The VC's make them grow from local businesses to industry competitors. But the VC's dont make (in their perspective) enough money from owning shares of a profitable business, so once they've decided the business is profitable enough, they put pressure on the leaders to sell it. If the VC's own a large enough share and/or the original owner cant afford to buy it back, what they say goes. The business sells.

What happens then? more often than not, the original owner and much of the team leaves with a payout that would have them set for life. But the market is one competitor poorer. There is less incentive to maintain competitive pricing because there's simply more available market share. Quality drops. Prices rise. Customers get the illusion of choice but no true choice, because the small business they once trusted is now just another mask for the same old megacorp. A monopoly starts forming.

Thats what the modern startup ecosystem is. We're amid the creation of an invisible monopoly. They sell this "build your own company, become Jeff Bezos" dream to startup creators, but most startup leaders arent going to get to keep their company. They'll sell out, because its an offer they cant refuse, because they cant afford not to, because they simply dont have enough stake in their own company to have much of a say. And megacorps get to essentially outsource all the expensive R&D, brand imaging, advertisement, and trust building that is the most complicated part of launching a new product, and then swoop in to buy a well established well trusted brand once theres essentially no effort they'll need to put in.

Monopolies are bad. We learned that from the coal companies of the past, we are learning that from the entertainment industry of the present, and it never ever ends well. Workers rights decrease, wages fall, quality plummets, prices soar, no innovations are made, and the wealth disparity grows. And that dream of entrepreneurship? of self sufficiency and being your own boss? in a startup, its a lie. You will answer to your investors like you do to your boss, you will be at risk of getting fired like in any other job.

The startup ecosystem sells this idea of creating a healthy market rich with competition and self-employment, and it delivers rapidly monopolizing international economies and increasingly fragile global supply chains.

might go on a huge rant about macroeconomics and the horrificness of the startup ecosystem. prepare yourselves.

[oliviamillss]

reading dreams chart

im only going to use up to orb 3, for stronger accuracy lmao

**if you can’t be bothered to read it all, theres a summary paragraph at the bottom**

sun:

sun in 7th: strong emphasis on relationships. tends to copy others lingo/habits. extroverted. probably ‘needs’ others. only really shows his true self around his close friends/family/partners. 

sun at 19 degrees: a libra degree. (emphasis on this bc libra rules 7h), makes him a very charming, likeable, particularly popular guy.

sun opposite ascendant: inner conflict, probably doesn’t feel like people see him for his true self, may struggle showing true self. may feel misunderstood. may need approval/validation a lot.

sun square mars: hints to daddy issues. may struggle with a lot of built up anger and frustration, but it seems like he takes it out very positively, as you can see he is competitive, so i think he lets it out through gaming. probably very energetic, motivated.

sun square saturn: high expectations for himself. probably the type of person to think ‘i’m only good enough if i do this’. probably very hard on himself. also probably very insecure of himself, but doesn’t show it. another sun square masculine planet, more hinting to daddy issues.

moon:

moon in 7th: probably relies on close friends/family/partners a lot. loves to help people, esp people he’s close with (kinda mr beast vibes). probably very like ‘oh shit, he’s sad, i need to do everything within my power to cheer him up’ if that makes sense lmao

moon in virgo: looking after people!!! esp with the sun square saturn,, high expectations. probably a very much perfectionist, which also explains why he is competitive. may ‘always need to be right’. but virgo moons are actually so lovely omfg

moon at 9 degrees: sagittarius degree, likes to help people by optimism, and giving things to the person that they would want (im aware that sounds obvious lmao). probably feels a sense of achievement when cheers them up.

moon square pluto: probably hard time dealing with and growing from negative things that have happened, possibly struggles with letting things go. possibly self destructive (why did that one heatwaves part come to mind), possible trust issues + anxiety, probably very particular about who he lets close into his life, maybe quite protective. 

mercury:

mercury in 6th: likes to help people, probably not disappointed if he spends his time working with someone, may struggle with anxiety/depression. a quick learner, probably overthink every word because it wast the ‘perfect’ thing to say. 

mercury in leo: funny asf, and out there, also thinks his ideas/things to respond and say are the best, with the 6h and 7h placements, he is open to listen to others, but in the end he only really wants his one lmfao, good with conversation.

mercury at 1 degree: aries degree, another fire placement which emphasises the loud, out there kinda vibes.

mercury trine mc: career and reputation are strongly linked with what he says. (this is obv bc hes famous lmao). he’s smart, particularly with technology and its linked to his career. *im aware this sounds like im just describing him, this is exact so thats why its overly accurate*

mercury opposite neptune: daydreamer, probably has a lot of thoughts and ideas in his head, but they just dont come across right. probably zones out, may struggle with focusing. but very creative, has big and creative ideas. i havent mentioned it before but its come up too many times now, but he has a lot of placements, when manifested badly, creates a good manipulator

mercury square jupiter: optimistic, possibly thinks his ideas are the best (we’ve covered that before), can be really overly talkative or just nothing at all. (i rlly dont know much about this placement)

venus:

venus in 7th: he will have a beautiful relationship with his future partner. charming asfff, probably a good flirt. tends to love love. needs to be liked, sort of a pleaser. 

venus in virgo: the type of person to remember everything about the people he cares about. loves to help the people he cares about. probably sees the people he truly loves as ‘perfect’, which may end up being really bad if they’re toxic. 

venus in retrograde: struggles feeling loved, possibly feels like he doesn’t deserve love. probably the type to be like ‘how could you ever love me?’

venus square mc: attract people who take care of him. either has self-esteem issues, or is quite a dependant person. creative. may struggle finding people who support his career, or may have to change a few things about himself to be liked by others. 

venus trine jupiter: very likeable, and he’s veryyy lucky. he’s funny, and a generous person, probably very giving to his close friends and family. charismatic asfff, likely he will marry someone foreign. 

mars:

mars in 9th: more things hinting to attract(ing/ed to) foreigners. loves experiencing things with people he cares about. likes to learn more and more, possibly stubborn, makes sure his opinions are known.

mars in scorpio: that boy needs privacy in his life, doesn’t like being predictable. probably an overthinker. we’ve already known this but he’s definitely a top. probably could get anyone he wants, seductive asfff. also pretty spiteful.

mars at 17 degrees: leo degree, fame bitchesss

mars square ascendant: hates to lose, competitive. people may be intimidated by him at first, can’t really hide anger, pretty stubborn.

mars opposite saturn: really hard on himself. wants to be the best of the best, leader. stands up for himself. another placement hinting to daddy issues. harsh about his work, and himself in general, perfectionist. 

mars square uranus: anger may change a lot, a lot of energy, probably struggles to focus, doesn’t like to be the one who is being controlled/has restrictions. probably struggles with authority. outbursts of anger.

jupiter

jupiter in 3rd house: loves writing, and is actually pretty good at it. knows how to talk to people, how to persuade them, and how to manipulate them. good liar, knows how to sell his wants across, how to get what he wants.

jupiter at 4 degrees: cancer degree, cancer rules his 6h. he uses his luck/money to help others.

jupiter square neptune: big dreams, desire to escape the world as it is.

saturn:

saturn in 3rd: afraid of/ is often misunderstood. struggles to open up?, maybe he wasn’t listened to much growing up. hard on himself academically, feels like he isn’t smart enough. hard time expressing himself. maybe feels like noone really cares for what he has to say?

saturn at 16 degrees: cancer degree. idk what else to say abt it lmaoo

saturn square ascendant: quite serious, maybe struggle with the way he looks? possibly quite overwhelmed about his life,, feels like he has too much to do at times. fear of rejectionnn

saturn square uranus: maybe he doesn’t like change, tradition v change clashing. authority troubles. probably needs freedom, but feels unstable without what he’s used to. rebelling against norms. 

uranus: 

uranus in 12th: probably very curious about unexplainable things, maybe quite into conspiracy theories. two complete ends of the spectrum: fear change/need it, unpredictable things happen/ everythings the same. 

uranus at 14 degrees: taurus. taurus ruling 2nd, i guess it shows change in dream’s wealth.

uranus opposite north node (and conj south node): with exceptions, doesn’t like conflict. he is fine with joke conflict, but the second there’s an actual argument he tries to be the ‘peacemaker’ guy. technology is major in his life. also quite nervous about his career/future. 

neptune:

neptune in 12th: awful sleep schedule. overworking himself, never relaxing. vivid dreams. once again, this has come up loads and i just haven’t mentioned it: intuitive asf, george is the same. whether either are aware of it or not, they are super intuitive.

neptune at 2 degrees: taurus degree.

neptune sextile mc: creative, also likes helping others, empathy to the public. has big dreams career wise. 

pluto:

pluto in 10th: determined person, gets a lot of hate, but also a lot of love. trust issues, persuasion/manipulative abilities. leader leader leader. another hint to daddy issues, maybe privacy invading, maybe overprotective. don’t want to be controlled.

north node:

north node in 6th: overwork himself. but i think we can interpret this as his life goal to be working to help people. literally mr beast. just work hard, and give a lot away. humble.

chiron:

chiron in 9th: possible restriction from either his or his communities beliefs/religions. maybe he’s afraid of leaving where he is right now (sapnap moving to orlando, whenever its brought up its always george coming to orlando)

lilith:

lilith in sagittarius: need for truth. dislikes restrictions. hides emotions, uses humour to avoid them/ make people think they’re okay when they’re not. stubborn asf. 

lilith in 10th: tend to be sexualised/ reputations for being sexual. another placement hinting to daddy issues. really wants to be at the top, the most powerful. likes using his dominance/ power to seduce. motivateddd.

lilith conjunct pluto (exact omfg): typical ‘mystery’ guy. probably the mystery/scorpio vibes he pulls off attracts/ seduces people. the most dominant partner ever. sex is probably so intense and overwhelming

moon square lilith: possible mummy issues. his need for sex can change quick asf, from one end of the scale to another. struggles to open up. 

 i ought to mention!!

there’s a theory that the degree of your venus sign is the birthday of someone who is v important in your life. what’s dreams you may ask? 1. and when are george and sapnap’s birthdays? the 1st. they’re soulmates, your honour.

summary!!!

basically, dream has so much care and love for his friends and family, and probably relies on them a lot. he only shows his true self around them, and he (at least thinks) people don’t really understand him in the way his friends and family do. he is a social person, who’s very likeable and charming. he lovesss helping people, doing everything in his power to cheer others up, he remembers details about the people he loves. he is such a perfectionist, needing to succeed and win and everything, and is very competitive. he probably doesn’t think he’s ‘worthy’ if he’s bad at something. he sets very high expectations for himself. he is very hard on himself. if he wants to, he knows how to manipulate people. he has so so many placements for an amazing manipulator. he may struggle to express himself or open up, and may be hard on himself academically. maybe he doesn’t feel ‘listened to’. a lot of emotions like anger and sex drive may change rapidly for him. he over works himself a lot. a major theme in his life is tradition vs change. he is probably afraid of change, or finds it uncomfortable, or he may have some sort of attachment to traditional values/things, no matter how much he wants to change. he is also a peacemaker. he was born to be loved or hated, kinda like marmite but if the balance was more equal. he doesn’t like restrictions. he uses humour to hide his emotions.

im also thinking of doing a synastry reading between george and dream but idk yet lol

hope you guys enjoyed, this took ages lmao<3

[ruby-whistler]

The "redemption questionnaire" - the survey results.

Hello! Welcome back to the results of this survey, which is now closed - I really didn’t expect this amount of interest and am thankful for the ability to collect this much data on the subject.

Now, the reason I made this survey in the first place was this post crossing my dash. It talks about people wanting to see characters or people who they dislike suffer, even if healing is completely possible or even the better option - it’s about people denying that there is such a thing as bad people “deserving” things that we humans need to function, such as being loved.

This post talks about fictional characters, but despite that fact, it made me lose my faith in humanity just a bit. I am a pretty cynical person, but I also consider myself quite empathetic to existing and fictional people alike.

So, I got curious, and wondered - in the Dream SMP fandom specifically, is there a way to get input as to what people actually think about the issue of redemption?

[ tw for brief mentions of torture and abuse ]

So, the goal of the survey was get information to answer certain questions;

Do people think that some characters shouldn’t be redeemed or are irredeemable because of their actions, however don’t hold this true for others?

Are there people, who despite disliking certain characters, still believe that they deserve healing?

Would people want characters to suffer or even die for their actions rather than heal and be happy?

Do people think certain characters in the story don’t deserve to be happy?

Now, I did get some responses that were asking to include or exclude certain characters from the main three (Quackity, Dream and Wilbur - all names are talking about the characters only), however there was a very specific reason I chose these people.

Quackity and Dream have both done actions that have similar weight, while Wilbur serves as an outlier; someone who hurt people in more indirect, but still impactful ways. All three of them have been hurt - Wilbur mostly by Eret’s betrayal, Quackity by Schlatt and others, and Dream by Sam and Quackity. All three have contributed to a toxic and harmful environment, which in turn hurt them back even more and drove them deeper into becoming destructive.

Such a comparison between them would test the fandom’s ability to separate their feelings from in-story morality, as well as bring double standards to light.

Let’s see the demographic part of the survey first, as to see what we are working with;

Of the 390 people partaking in the survey, 44.9% like the direction the Dream SMP plot is heading at the moment, 3% do not and 52.1% are not sure.

Of the characters whose redemption arcs are most anticipated, 71% of participants are expecting a BadBoyHalo or Eggpire redemption arc, Niki/Jack and Wilbur coming close in second and third with 59.2% and 51.8% respectively. As for the main trio of this survey, Quackity lands with 28.2%, Dream with 43.3% and Wilbur with 51.8% of participants thinking a redemption arc for them is likely in the near future.

I would like to express right now that the characters included in the “possible redemption” section do not in any way, shape or form reflect on what I personally think about the characters. I don’t think certain characters need a redemption arc, however I left in the option in order to let people pick it if they wish to do so.

As for the healing arc question, quite understandably, Tommy and Tubbo are the characters most expected to get a healing arc in the upcoming storylines, sitting at 76.2% of participants. Niki and/or Jack come in second with 62.1%, and Quackity, Wilbur and Dream land at 25.4%, 45.9% and 42.8% respectively.

For the aforementioned questions, 3.6% or participants thought none of the Dream SMP characters would get a redemption arc, and 5.4% thought none of them would heal - and with the track record the story has so far, I honestly cannot blame them.

Now we move more towards the main trio;

48.7% of participants have positive feelings towards Quackity’s character, and 23.1% have negative ones. The majority of the participants (66.2%) think that his actions are intentional and hurtful, but interestingly enough, only 25.4% say they find them inexcusable and awful.

For c!Dream, 51.5% feel positively towards him and 35.7% do negatively. Luckily, 53.8% find his actions inexcusable and awful, while 40.3% find them intentional and hurtful.

c!Wilbur breaks the trend with 58.7% of people feeling positively towards the character and only 17.2% feeling negatively, however such a discrepancy can be expected when we compare his actions (found 65.1% of the time to be intentional and hurtful).

I want to preface this next section by saying that I have nothing against people who find redemption arcs unappealing, or wouldn’t find them narratively appealing in the specific story. These answers will be counted as merely neutral ground in the upcoming questions; you are completely valid if you think certain character arcs would not fit the themes or style of storytelling, or if you want bad people to stay bad for the sake of conflict.

However, 79.5% of people find well-done redemption and healing very appealing within the story, and 19% like it for certain stories and characters, so this shouldn’t impact the results on a large scale.

1. Do people think that some characters shouldn’t be redeemed or are irredeemable because of their actions, however don’t hold this true for others?

People’s reasoning for not wanting characters to heal varies, however the contrast between c!Quackity and c!Dream in this scenario is very intriguing.

Despite the two having done comparably disgusting things, one with more and one with less selfish reasons but neither excusable, both classifying under abuse, the people who think c!Dream shouldn’t get a redemption arc (9.7%) because of his actions greatly overshadow the people who think c!Quackity doesn’t deserve a redemption arc (1%) because of his actions. Hell, even c!Wilbur’s percentage is higher, sitting at 2.1%.

This is extremely surprising considering the demographic - and seems to hint at the fact that people who think positively of c!Dream are far more likely to think that c!Q and c!Wil deserve redemption and healing (despite the common argument that both have hurt him greatly) than it is the other way around.

Even sending a bad message is a lot higher with c!Dream (30.5%), despite the fact that c!Quackity’s actions and him as a character could be similarly triggering, and he himself sits at 2.6% of participants. Of course, this question could be partially taken as what he went through in prison making him better, which would definitely be a bad message to send, but considering the percentage (42.1%) of people who don’t want Dream to be redeemed, that’s still insanely high.

Overall, people from a very balanced demographic of people who are positive and negative towards the three characters, only 52.6% want Dream redeemed as opposed to the 83.8% with Quackity and 86.7% with Wilbur - and the reasons given seem to be largely based on bias and double standard, or even hypocritical in context.

For the fandom, this question’s answer seems to be yes, although from the people who are c!Dream positive, this sort of thinking seems to be of a much lesser extent and amount towards characters they dislike.

2. Are there people, who despite disliking certain characters, still believe that they deserve healing?

Let’s look at some of the comments given to this answer;

“On the one hand I do want Dream to recognize that his actions have hurt people, but I really don’t want torture to have ‘made him better’ or for the people he hurt to have to forgive him.”

“as much as I hate c!quackity and dislike c!wilbur, I believe that evil is not something you are, its what you do and as such I think every person deserves to heal and grow.”

“Quackity is the closest - he's spiraled far, but we got to see some of what he could be as a more moral man. Dream's arc would be....incredibly difficult to pull off, and while everyone deserves a chance to change, not everyone who does is ever owed forgiveness. And Wilbur....I dont know what would make him want to get better, but I want him to.”

“I wouldn’t like some of these characters to get redeemed(c!Quackity), but I know everyone deserves a chance at redemption because no one is mentally stable and not traumatized.”

“bastard men. on a serious note ive noticed a lot of evil in dsmp come from the perpetuation of the cycle of revenge and punitive punishment and i think excluding someone from them would. just not be a good message. and yeah c!dreams motives and methods being seen in separate characters is just proof of this - nothing that made any of these men villains are unique to them, and they are all shit-infested holes other characters can fall in.”

“i think every character on the smp has done horrible things and is morally grey, but i think everyone deserves the chance and the ability to heal and try to be better.”

“listen, i love big q, and i know he doesn't mean it, Wilbur also deserves better (far from tommy tho, they're not good for each other rn) and dream can go f**k himself, the only "healing " Arc that would ever make sense is if he escapes the prison and f**ks off to the middle of nowhere (wich is unlikely)”

“Even if I don't like some of the characters they deserve a chance at healing and moving on”

“Controversial opinion but Wilbur has been pretty shady from the start, so a redemption/healing arc just wouldn't make sense to me. He antagonized Dream to sell drugs.”

“i would like to qualify all my answers towards redemption as that they are /all/ allowed to get better, just not necessarily near those they've hurt. those they've hurt are under no obligation to forgive them or be involved in that.”

“REDEMPTION IS POG F**K IT EVERYONE GETS REDEEMED THE ONLY BIG BAD THAT EXISTS IS SYSTEMIC”

“Clarifying about my wilbur answers. A character can only get a redemption if he wants to change. Wilbur doesn’t want to change. I still think he deserves to heal but not to be redeemed. Those are two very seperate things”

“PLEASE JUST LET THEM GET HELP. ALL OF THEM.”

“i'm at sort of an impasse with c!quackity & c!wilbur. i don't like c!quackity in the slightest. i think he has great potential for a redemption arc, but i probably wouldn't be interested in watching it. on the other hand, with c!wilbur, i actually would watch his redemption arc, but i don't see it happening any time soon.”

“I answered " he deserves to heal and get better despite the actions he's commited; everyone deserves to heal and get better " for c!Wilbur but I partially Disagree with the "Everyone deserves to heal and get better" part. simply because some characters are irredeamable eg : c!dream”

“If c!Wilbur gets a redemption arc (I hope he does) I really hope it comes with learning that ethnostates and nationalism are not poggers. I'd be worried about the message it would send if he didn't learn that & it only focused on interpersonal stuff instead.”

“maybe a bit weird that i want c!dream to have a redemption arc but not c!q or c!wilbur, but hear me out. c!dream is being tortured in pandoras vault and we all know (no matter what the c!dream antis say) no one deserves torture. we have something to sympathize with with c!dream. with c!q and c!wilbur, i cant think of anything to sympathize with …. im not trying to say that c!dream is better than them, or that he didnt do bad things, but i sympathize with him much more than i do with c!q and c!wilbur because q and wilbur caused their own problems while a lot of dreams problems come from other people”

“We have both seen Wilbur and Quackity be relatively good people, or at the very least morally Gray people who had genuine love and care to those close to them. While with Dream we have never seen that, as he has always been focused on chaos, fun, and power.”

“I just want everyone to be happy and get along. C!Wilbur to get his problems fixed. C!Quackity to be happy and not have to worry about being the next c!Schlatt. C!Dream to finally tell us his side of the story and potentially join the syndicate?”

“Redemption isnt something any one can say is deserved or not”

“For me the main difference is thay wilbur and quackity (although having done bad things) did them out of grief or bc they felt like it was the only thing they could do for a sense of security (both after they lost something important to them). Dream on the other hand went out of his way and hurt others maliciously when he DIDNT have to or there were other less horrible/long-lasting actions he could done”

“The message that some people dont deserve to learn and grow from their past mistakes is harmful”

“listen.. i really hate c!quackity and c!wilbur right now so.. erm..in emotionally, i don't want them to have redemption arc because i hate them..BUT by using my brain i know that is a stupid excuse, everyone deserve redemption so..yeah sorry if it confusing you but honestly..the reason i hate them so much is probably because of the arc they on so..give them time and i think i will say i welcome their redemption arc with an open arm”

“i answered twice for dream because i have mixed feelings, while i think he is an atrocious person, i believe personally that forgoing forgiveness from others, he deserves to be happy and healthy and heal. hes clearly got issues of his own, and while it doesnt excuse his actions he also deserves the basic right to heal”

“I personally regard redemption as the act of simply becoming a better person, seperate from whether or not they are accepted or forgiven by their victims. With that definition, I think there is no being "deserving" of a redemption arc, it's something that everyone is entitled to if they chose to. Therefore, everyone, and I mean everyone, in as something as morally gray as the Dream SMP is capable of becoming a better person. It doesn't mean they get rewarded or forgiven for it, it just means they are capable of change and are able to fulfil character potential beyond being a villain.”

It seems to me like there definitely are a lot of people in each side of the spectrum, so this test seems to have come back positive; however, there are more questions that we have yet to answer.

3. Would people want characters to suffer or even die for their actions rather than heal and be happy?

Here is probably a good place to mention this questionnaire was more of a psychological experiment than a survey. Most of the answers were specifically designed and in such an order that would get your mind thinking about certain things before shoving your psyche into a difficult question.

Well, here comes the moment of truth; what sort of redemption arc do people prefer? Would they rather the character get better and reap the “rewards” (which are actually simply things every human being needs and deserves; love and happiness), atone for their actions but not get to be happy, or would they like them to suffer or be punished instead? Do people really treat basic human needs as “rewards” for being a good person; or are they only reserved for characters that were never bad people in the first place? Remember; all of these characters have inarguably gone through pain during their life. Just how much do people enjoy punitive justice, and should I literally just stick to my corner of the fandom for my own good?

The answer probably won’t surprise you!

Starting off, 82.8% want a happy or neutral ending for Quackity, 59.4% of which think he should experience good things in the end. 54.4% of participants want a happy or neutral ending for Dream, 62.7% of which think it should lead to him being happy and loved. 89.2% of people want a happy or neutral ending for Wilbur, 49.4% of which lean towards happiness over closure.

17.2% of participants would prefer Quackity to experience pain as part of his redemption arc. 8.5% want him to be mentally tormented by the weight of his own actions, and 5.6% think he should be punished before being allowed to get better.

For Dream, these percentages are way higher- and here is the funny thing, I thought that pretty much no one would say he should suffer before healing, because he’s already suffering for his actions indirectly by being abused by people who hate him for them. However, 7.2% of people think he has yet to be punished enough for his crimes in order to deserve being redeemed. 21.5% want him to suffer under the weight of his own actions, and 6.9% would want him to die instead of getting a happy ending. Overall, 45.6% would prefer a redemption arc for Dream in which he is subjected to pain or punishment.

10.8% of participants would want Wilbur to have a more difficult character arc, with the percentages pretty evenly divided between the options.

4. Do people think certain characters in the story don’t deserve to be happy?

“Deserving” basic human needs, or not deserving them for being bad people/being bad people in the past, is something I don’t personally agree with, however this is tumblr, not thought police, so let’s just look at the survey results.

While 68.5% of participants believe all of the characters in the story deserve to be loved and happy, only 66.2% think Wilbur does, 61.5% think Quackity does, and 38.5% think Dream does.

Let’s look at some closing thoughts on the subject as a closing note;

“I want everyone to have a sort of personal redemption. Where they realize they have hurt people. But I think it’s difficult. I mean Dream abused a child. Quackity tortured Dream relentlessly. I think the redemption arc that is the easiest is one for Wilbur because of cc!wilburs acting and emphasis on his characters mental health. But I think Wilburs also done so much f**ked up shit too. I think it’s difficult. I just think the redemption arcs are really really difficult.”

“i genuinely can't help myself, i want everyone to have the chance to be better.”

“i think that wilbur, quackity and sam should be redeemed because we as an audience know that they all believe they're doing the right thing and regret/didn't enjoy hurting people with their actions. but with c!dream, there's a lot more evidence that he knew what he was doing wrong and actively enjoyed doing it.”

“everybody deserves to heal. if someone wants to be better and strives to be better, who is anyone to deprive them of that?”

“I don’t like some of these characters and their actions, but everyone deserves a chance to heal. To work through their trauma.”

“dream doesn’t deserve shit, quackitys probably gonna keep riding the las nevadas train until it crashes and burns and wilbur should move on from being “the villain” and stop seeing everything as black and white”

“No one is beyond deserving help. That's not how the world works and that's not what the story should show in my opinion.”

“narratively, i want redemption and happy endings for all characters but morally, i really despise some of them and i'm also really conflicted about some of them as well”

“I want my faves to be better and I think it's the best possible option for everyone involved, even the characters they've hurt.”

“c!wilbur and c!quackity go to therapy. c!dream get hit by another train /hj”

“Hurt people hurt people. If given a chance to distance yourself from your victims and abusers, if given a safe environment with a support network of people you haven't formerly harmed, you can then heal and let the others heal. Live and let live, but living is harder for everyone when we don't give others the chances they need to grow and change themselves.”

“all of them deserve to find growth and happiness but under no circumstances are those who have been hurt by them obligated to be involved in any aspect of that arc. most obvious example- c!dream is allowed to grow and realize that what he's done is awful, but c!tommy is not obligated to forgive him or even be near him.”

“They can all improve and get better and be better people …. They all deserve a chance to be better and be happy. However. Wilbur and dream should get their "redemption" arcs away from esp. Tommy and all the other people they hurt. Big Q. should get his redemption arc away from Dream and stuff. If the prison was less focused on detainment and more focused on rehabilitation and then Dream had no contact with Tommy for example that's a scenario that I'd like.”

“is quackity actually considered a villain in this story? What has he done wrong lol Create a casino? be emotionally manipulated? have rejection sensitive dysphoria? I don't think he's a good person based on his current actions but i don't think hes a villain. I think he's trying hard to become something hes not. … I hate c!dream and I don't think he can ever get better. hes a manipulator gaslight gatekeep girlboss and i think he deserves to stay in prison and rot. watching the tommy exile arc would make me so angry that i had to stop watching.”

“i'm so CONFLICTED about this! i want the angst, but god the angst has been going on for a LONG time. honestly, i think the conclusion i would be happiest with would be for c!dream, c!quackity, c!sam, c!tommy, and c!wilbur to calm down, get some therapy, and stay VERY FAR AWAY FROM EACH OTHER. god damn, it's like they WANT to get more traumatized,,”

“the loathing i feel directed at c!dream specifically is so goddamn strong. my god i hate that guy. uhhh regarding quackity no i dont feel like he shouldnt feel ANY pain or anything hes done some f**ked up stuff but i mean..? with the exception of the torture hes the most redeemable guy up there for me which is probably because we have seen his entire downward spiral.”

“I have to admit that although I strongly believe no one on the Dream SMP deserves to be tormented and deprived of their healing and happiness, I feel really icky about c!Quackity. I really hope that the ccs find a way to make his redemption logical and satisfying to watch. If that is not the case, I will still welcome it with open arms, but secretly I will be a little bit salty about it.”

“For the last question bit there i wanted to check more then once because i want them all to feel guilty and tormented for what they have done.”

“Yknow.... basic human rights... to be happy and loved isn't something that should be deserved it should be something that everyone is allowed to obtain for themselves and it shouldn't be allowed it should just be…”

“While i think that all of the characters should the chance to get redemption and healing, I’d probably be less likely to watch redemption arcs from c!Quackity and c!Wilbur than c!Dream, just because I dislike them. Not to say that they shouldn’t get them, because I hope they do, I’m just more like to be going “Good for them” in the distance.”

“I JUST WANT THEM ALL TO BE HAPPY PLEASEEEEEEEE -dr3”

“for the final question it doesnt provide a none of the above option or a some of the characters but not all option. since I dont think c!Dream deserves to be happy and loved but I do the other two (to some degree) but answering "all of the characters .. " I feel Includes c!dream who I ultimately just really hate and want to have nothing but a fictional death!”

“therapy. therapy for everyone.”

“f**k c!dream <3 i honestly don’t think people who abuse kids (or anyone) for fun should ever be redeemed i think they should just rot in a hole somewhere”

“It would be hypocritical to say that one character deserves redemption more than another, especially considering they've all done (almost equally) horrible things. Either everyone deserves redemption, or no one does.”

Conclusion: in the end, this is all the ways in which we like to enjoy fiction. However, for some completely unrelated reason, I am now about 45.6% less likely to attempt to interact with anyone outside my immediate group of friends in the fandom.

Thank you for reading!

[miridiums-writing]

Loki x reader

This is the longest thing I've ever written, also having to post on my phone because I dont have a computer so I apologise I can to the read more thingy

Summary; Loki decides to prank his brother one night and end up becoming a therapist for Y/N, currently the most withdrawn are tough to crack of the bunch, as a snake

Warning; swearing, panic attacks, depression, self-harm, past abuse, past sexual assault, mentions of medical torture, death of a friend, the team seeming like dickheads, I do apologise. Also, may have plugged in my favourite power again…… please don’t hate me, reader is so oblivious it should be illegal. Please don’t read if this triggers you!!

Word count; 2k

Loki slowly slithered down the hallway, scales making a noise very comforting to him against the floor. Being a snake gave him a sense of peace and freedom. Tonight, he was heading for only one room, Thor’s. he hadn’t pranked his brother in a month and felt it was necessary to do so now. As he passed one more door until he reached his destination, he heard sniffling and hiccupping coming from the room. Loki’s curiosity got the better of him and he decided to investigate. The room was dark, though he could make out to outline of a person under the blankets, full on sobbing now. Loki carefully manoeuvred his small form up the bedframe to the person. They were shaking and sobbing rather badly now, he moved under the blankets and towards the person.

Loki was now curled around the persons hand that was currently gripping onto their hair harshly, almost of the verge of ripping it out. He started to lick at anything he could noticing quickly they were caught in a panic. Their panic was crashing down on them, making them unable to see him or even recognize he was there. Their breathing was laboured and harsh as if they had just run a marathon. Loki tightened himself around their hand in the hopes the pain would ground them. He relaxed when he heard them yelp, pulling the blankets off themselves to look down at Loki. Loki’s blood ran cold when he saw their face. There you were, tears staining your face and eyes red raw, confusion setting into your features as you looked down at him.

“thanks,” you said, your voice rough from crying. “I probably would still be panicking without you.” To you Loki was simply a snake looking up at you curiously. Currently Loki’s mind was screaming. What if they knew it was him and got mad for eaves dropping, what that why you were talking to him as you would a person? You were racking a shaky hand through your hair now, looking as though you were battling with yourself. Like you wanted to say something, but you were unsure. Loki was starting to look to find a way out when you started to speak again. “Fuck it, it’s not like I can talk to actual people,” you look Loki in the eye. “Plus, its not like a snake can look at me with pity.” Loki was slightly confused now, wondering where you were going with this. “ok, how should I? you know what ill just start from the beginning and see where I go shall we?” you gave Loki an unsure smile, though it further confused Loki to see how genuine it was.

“I have anxiety and depression. Um, I self-harmed, still do sometimes when it gets too much, I-uh- fuck I don’t know” you were looking across the room now, fiddling with your hands trying to explain. Loki curled up on your lap again and decided to wait for you to continue. It might help and he didn’t want to leave you alone like this, no matter how scary you were. “My parents were, well, they were shit. I was the oldest, so I took most of the attacks they handed out, punishments I took most of even if I wasn’t the one at fault. When I turned ten-” you cut yourself off to wipe away the tears pooling around your eyes “Sorry,” you chocked out as more tears made their way down your face. “Just, give me a second”

Loki continued to patiently wait for you to continue. He was honestly intrigued now. Maybe learning about your past could help him form a bridge between you, especially since you always seemed to distance yourself from everyone. He knew everyone needed someone to lean on. The tears had slowed again, you took a deep breath, trying to calm your racing heart.

“ok, when I turned 14 I was sold off, my parents were fed up of dealing with me and they ripped me away from those I cared about. I was sold at auction from money and given from person to person” your features were changing now, anger contorting your face “I was used as property, a toy, not a person, something people can just own. Used again and again, my innocence ripped from me!” you were yelling now though when you noticed you took a calm breath “sorry. So yes, I was basically a sex toy for gross old men. Though a good thing came from it. When I turned 17, I met a guy called Phoenix. He was, awesome. So genuine, so kind. We were both in this awful situation, but we had each other, we told everything about ourselves to each other and it was a freedom I hadn’t had before them. An actual friend.” The tears had started again but you just wiped them away and continued your story, Loki hadn’t moved yet, frozen in place through the power of your words. “when we were 18, phoenix was taken out the cell one night. Dragged by his hair outside. I remember vividly, we were both crying reaching for each other.” Your hands were clenched in anger now. “THEY SHOT HIM IN THE HEAD RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!” you looked down at the snake in anger, though when your eyes met you tried to breath again, trying to keep calm. After a few minutes of deep breathes you continued once more. “I guess I could say a piece of me was lost that day, I lost the only thing I had left and I just broke. I was numb, I didn’t move, I didn’t eat, I didn’t do anything. When they found I couldn’t be useful as a sex toy anymore they sold me off again. To Hydra. I was subject 1843.” Loki internally gasped instantly, that was them? When the team had last broken into a Hydra base, he remembered reading something about them.

Subject 1843

Reported missing for 9 months.

Uses; medical chemicals for the next generation of super soldiers

Experimental aid

Stress relief

Loki was brimming with anger now. Everyone on the team backhanded them as a spoilt kid who didn’t like people, they all brushed them off ignoring them most of the time as most hand given up even trying to reach out to them. The only ones who still bothered were Cap and Spider ling, and even then, the interactions were slim to none, asking how their day was, that was about it. They kept to themselves otherwise. Loki remembered Bucky being mad because they spoke up about their past being bad and Bucky instantly being mad that they didn’t know what true pain was like. Yet there they were taking every punch and all that pain, emotional and physical from the team, people who are supposed to care about them and they said nothing.

“I was used as a test subject of sorts, chemicals were tested on me first, if I had a reaction, they didn’t use them. Simple as. I was used in experiments, my body was simply theirs to play around with, that explains the butterfly thing. One chemical reacted with him body and now I can create butterflies, somehow. I don’t mind the butterflies are rather calming. Anyway, when I turned 19, I found a way to escape and never looked back. Now I’m here, in bed having panic attacks and refusing help from actual people” you chuckled to yourself without humour “I’m so messed up inside, it doesn’t feel appropriate to reach out to them now, I’ve been so cruel.” Without thinking Loki shakes his head, then both of you freeze. You look down at him curiously. “You understand me?” Loki decided it better if you know and nods his head. “huh, cool,” you said smiling down at him. “ok then, who do you suggest I spoke to, who do you think I should trust?” Loki looks at them ridiculously for a second. They didn’t get he wasn’t a snake? Either way Loki decided to make his way to his own room as you followed behind him, your feet making a gentle pitter patter on the floor.

When they both arrive at his room Loki quickly dodges in before them and changes back sitting on the bed and reading. When you walk in, he looks up at you, trying not to show he already knew why you were there. You stand there for a second looking around the room, clearly searching for the snake, your hands massaging each other nervously. “I have some stuff I want to tell someone, will you let me talk?”

-------------------------------------------------------time skip------------------------------------------------------------------

Loki sat with your head in his lap, after so much crying that night you had exhausted yourself, you had fallen asleep on his shoulder, but he carefully moved so you were more comfortable. Though it wasn’t much he felt, almost at peace. He noticed you had told snake Loki a lot more than him, but the fact you had even spoken up, to him of all people, filled himself with pride, you trusted your instincts and the snake to speak up finally, and relieve yourself of the burden you had carried for so long. Though now he felt it was only his place to explain to the team. Before you had fallen asleep, he had asked you about it. You explained how you wanted to tell them but couldn’t work up the courage. He asked if you wanted him to do it and he agreed, before you passed out on him. He picked you up, placing you under the covers and called out to Friday. “assemble the team in the kitchen, this is important”

When Loki arrived at the kitchen everyone was there, expect for you. “right let’s get this started,” he said, clapping his hands together. “we have a lot to get through” Thor looked at him with confusion “what is this about?”

“all in due time brother”

“what about Y/N we can’t start without them” Cap said looking as confused as the rest of them.

“Let me explain first talk later, I need you full attention” and with that Loki told them everything you told human him. The team were just as shocked as him by the end of the story. Tony, and Bucky looked the most shocked, knowing full well how often they spoke down to them about them not understanding true pain. Cap and Natasha looked appalled both questioning their morals. The whole group sat in silence for a full five minutes, taking in the information. Being disgusted in themselves for their behaviour, not noticing sooner, not recognizing. If only they did more.

“standing here feeling bad isn’t going to do anything about it,” Clint said. “we’re heroes. We save people, and now its our turn to save a friend. So, stop feeling bad for yourselves, you can’t change the past. Come one, let’s go help them” Clint’s speech seemed to take them out their slump, their eyes regaining their life again and a of justice settling into all of them. Its time to do what they did best. Save other.

Over the course of the next 6 months the whole team was kinder, sure you still pushed them away to begin with, but it was better. Some night Loki still came back to your room as a snake, to calm you from panic attacks, and help you sleep. You and human Loki got closer too, you both ended up liking each other a lot, both finding refuge in each other. When Loki confessed to you, you felt free, like the shackles holding you back were breaking apart, your wings were expanding and you were taking flight, away from the suffering, away from the pain, towards freedom, towards love, towards peace. And when you both kissed for the first time you knew you were truly free.

[gepgep]

that last post is absolutely onto some shit, but I'd like to put out some of my thoughts from my experiences witnessing my parents each make a career teaching public elementary school in the US.

First of all, there's a lot of nuance to explore in what it means to act hatefully, and we need to seriously consider how hate(which kinds of hate?) may or may not play into different ways the power imbalances between young people and older people become exploitative. For example, conveying abusive or repressive rhetoric, or creating situations in which inevitably a young person(usually a group) will have no sufficient options available to protect themselves from coercion, be it physical, psychic, something else.

We might think immediately of the teacher-as-resentful-prison-guard, but this might be overstepping. These violences are enacted and structural oppressions are affirmed by teachers often (perhaps surprisingly so) through true negligence, ignorance, and a lack/mixup of intentions.

We all understand that "protect the children" is a reduction weaponized constantly in service of white xtian supremacy, gay-bashing, etc. But this is a big part of the schism which allows teachers to preform the belief that protecting = policing. Teachers are not actually held accountable for the power they wield over young people(being accountable to young people), they are held accountable for Not using that power 'Effectively' or 'Correctly'(being accountable to administrators, the school system). This means that they might be pressed at some point to justify this imbalance, what makes them, personally, not only a good teacher but also an accountable, fair teacher?

Based on what I experienced, some just convince themselves that they can hold themselves accountable, internally, and dont need any external feedback from young people(sometimes from anyone) to know when they have wronged a person or how to take responsibility for harm done. They fully internalize the mythology of the child: children are fragile and helpless without Proper Adult guidance, misguided by ever-present danger, and so the teacher can even retroactively decide that practically anything theyve done to children has been in the name of protection.

Second, im not as intimately familiar with the situation of administrators, but im fairly confident that everything above applies equally for their exploitation of young people. Administrators and teachers organize, sometimes against each other, often in competition over methodology and 'Correct, Proper, Effective' systematization of power. There's particular differences, but to both factions young people are objects, symbols, and commodities.

so with all this.. where is the ethical distinction between public school workers and cops? is there one? Shouldnt we at least be more critical than we tend to be of teacher's unions and how theyre analogous to police unions, where 'organizing around the products of one's labor' necessarily means organizing for the capacity to deny/suppress people's agency on a large scale?

[missjackil]

My 15x17 Opinion

Unity

Wow! This one was a rollar coaster ride! I’ve seen positive and negative responses from y’all but I’ll say, though it had its flaws, I thought it was basically what I watch the show for. Tension drama, emotion, twists and turns and all that good stuff! 

We start off that Sam is still angry with Dean and giving him the silent treatment. A typical Winchester argument occurs but comes to a painful halt when Sam says, concerning Jack “We dont give up on family!!” and Dean returns fire with “Jack’s not family!!” OMG I could HEAR Sam’s heart shatter! Dean isn’t wrong in his follow up though, they both care for Jack a lot (Sam evidenty moreso) but he’s not family at their level, or even Cas’s level for that matter. This isn’t anything we shouldn’t aready know. Michael!Dean even pointed this out in s14. 

I don’t think this means Dean doesn’t love or care about Jack at all. In fact Im sure he does even if he still holds a grudge, but he’s not on Sam level, no one is... nor is he on Mom, Dad, Bobby or Cas level, but maybe Rowena level? Id say somewhere between Rowena level and Kevin level.

Sam loves Jack and apparently thinks of him as his son, though he never says it. He has said “He’s our kid!” but never said Jack is like a son to him. Im not going to go too meta on this, but  I kinda think Dean’s line of thought is “Well Sam and I both have died to save the world, why can’t Jack?” and Sam is thinking “Enough of this damn dying to save the freakin world!” but thats my opinion :) 

Of course Jack overhears which also hurt and he asks Sam if hes mad at him. Sam weighs his words so well to make sure Jack knows Sam understands and appreciates the mission, but he thinks its wrong.

I have mixed opinions of the Amara and Chuck portions. I think Amara was great! I really like her, but I was distracted by an OTT Chuck that I really didnt like. Not just on a bad guy level but the childishness was much more like a bad impression of Lucifer than any Chuck we’ve seen. Im still hoping beyond hope that Chuck gets redeemed some way though I think its not very likely. But it aint over till its over and SPN has surprized me a million times before.

Adam and Serafina were annoying. I thought it also very weird that Dean thought the woman must be Eve when he killed Eve in S6. Guess they forgot s6, but thats ok, I try to forget it too!

So Jack becoming a bomb is the only way to defeat Chuck. Im gad to hear Sam call Dean out on his “Its the only way” attitude. I flash back so Sacrifice in s8 when Sam was going to martyr himsef ... again... and when Dean found out Sam would die, all of a sudden, this isnt the only way!! “We have enough information to turn the tides here... think about what we know....” to show Sam that they do have options, and yet, when it doesnt have to do with Sam’s life, Dean becomes somewhat of a defeatist. (its ok Dean... I know theres a “Samception” to every rule 😉🤜🤛)

Meanwhile Sam and Cas figure out how to get to Billies Library. Im kinda sad they keep using Meg as The Empty, Im so down for Megstiel, I wish theyd go that route instead.  Anyway, she confirms that Billie needs him so maybe if she starts kiling him, Billie will come. Sam lies his way out of that and tricks her into giving him God’s book. Now we have that and Im curious as to why Billie and/or Chuck need Sam. I still think for Sam to die, Dean needs to kill him and this is why Chuck manipulated Dean to pull a gun on him, which goes well with OG Death needing Dean to kill Sam, or “Ill do it for you” and OGs Death’s eagerness to reap him. This is intriguing, and I cant even meta on it, because I have no clue LOL

So we have this crazy physical fight between Sam and Dean which leads us to Sam’s touching speech. “What about me? Would you trade me?” The line that of course, stops Dean in his tracks. I THINK that if Billie resets everything that Sam stays dead from s2? Or maybe just since she has been Death and Sam would stay dead when he got vamped in the AU? Im not sure, but Sam didnt seem to mean that Dad would have stayed dead from before Mom made her demon deal, or that would just mean neither would exist.

Sam tells Dean that he’s always protected him, from Dad, from Lucifer etc... and I see a lot of controversey on Tumblr about this statement as an attack on John. I don’t really think so, though no matter how much of a John fan you are, the show never paints him as an ideal father. Its not “these new writers” its every writer since the Pilot. Since season 1 John has been depicted as an obsessed man who raised them to be hunters, left them alone as children for days/weeks at a time and had anger and drinking issues, all while showing that he loves his boys, wants them to be safe and ultimately only wanted what was best. I dont see the show ever depicting him as physically abusive, so its not hard to imagine that Dean would have stepped into a verbal argument between Sam and Dad to distract Dad before it got messy like we saw him do a couple times in S1. 

So Sam goes on saying he didnt always like “it” either being protected or the form of protection used, but regardless, its the only thing he could rely on, and the ony thing he knew was true. And in this moment while Dean still wants to kill Chuck, Dean probably believes its whats best for Sam too, to get off the wheel so to speak, but if Billie wins, would he no longer have Sam?? YIKES!! Winchester tears all round! And ya know, I actually like that Sam just said “put down the gun” instead of like “believe in us too” something about it made it feel more critical. Like Dean had lost his shit and Sam knew it. Dean could cry and hug him and tell him he loves him more than life, but Sam is still in danger of Chuck manipulating Dean into killing him, untill Dean puts down the gun.

Meanwhile Chuck talks Amara into becoming part of him again, to be one. This also gave me feels. But now here comes a super pissed off, super charged Chuck who has had it with these boys. “After everything, you still do this!!” and now they get to watch Jack die.... maybe.. to be continued. 

So yeah I reallly liked this episode despite the annoying issues. Definitey on my “watch again” list!

So on a scale from Bloodlines to Lebabon I give Unity a 8.5. Thanks guys I needed that!

[relijackson]

So get this...

Percy was lounging on Rachel's bed wearing a tux feeling a little glum bc his breakup with Annabeth was still a bit fresh (3 moths have passed)

But Rachel asked him out to be her date to her first ever big spotlight art exhibition

So here he is watching an underwear clad redhead putting on her pants and her matching black woman tux with flower embroidery (ootd suggested by Drew)

He doesnt feel so alone that much

Bc how could he? An underwear clad woman is in front of you

Can you like dress up without me here?

Why? Does it bother you?

No

[[MORE]]

Its also a really big deal for Rachel since the event is a big scale media-socialite-art enthusiasts type of big thing

She only goes to small scale intimate exhibitions to avoid the limelight but she was invited by a friend and she couldnt say no

They never knew that they'll trend that night

Bc you have Rachel in her tux with beautiful flower embroideries screaming FEMALE POWER

And then there's Percy looking like his usual. A Greek/Roman god.

Linked arms they go to the red carpet with flashing lights and camera shutters

They stop at the photo op place.

Wow beautiful perfection

They became the topic of the crowd

A woman who came in tux with a partner aslo wearing tux. People are amazed.

Some people think that Percy's a sub to Rachel's dom aura that night.

An eyecandy, trophy date

Rachel's pieces are at the top floor so they roamed around the lower areas first

But the event has a serious atmosphere after the glam lights at the entrance

So the two had a bet to say the dumbest shit and whoever cracks first loses.

They proceeded to be fools while keeping a straight face.

It was a hard

Thankfully they were interrupted by Rachel's friend, one of the organizers

Your work is absolutely amazing. Out of all exhibitions, yours is my favorite

So they went to the top floor to see Rachel's work

The room was dark with only the paintings having lights.

Her work consists of demigods war life

But her proudest piece stands in the middle. The biggest one. As big as the wall of the whole room

It was percy's face, the ocean reflecting on his skin and his striking ocean like eyes stares at the person looking at the painting like the its alive

It was majestic

Percy was touched

He felt really appreciated and seeing your face up there was lil bit overwhelming

He didnt model for that so he kbows she painted it just from memory

The memory of his face

He looked at the painting in awe then turning to Rachel at his side. He felt a surge of emotions he couldn't quite put a name on

But it feels similar to love

So he did what his instincts told him to. Say a cheesy line to break her serious face and laugh.

Thank you.

You like it?

I love it. I love you.

He held her hand and kissed her knuckles

Rachel knows he's sincere. She could feel it. Also she knows that playful glint in his eyes saying 'you're going down' and she would not be going down like he wants her to

But it was so cheesy its making her cringe and laugh at the same time

ALMOST SHE ALMOST LAUGHED

I know you do. You're my muse.

They dont know though, they've gathered quite an audience and their picturesque in the middle of the painting him kissing her knuckled and her tearing up a little (bc shes holding her laugh but they dont know that) while staring at each other was taken as a picture by one of the media people

Ooooooh boy their picture exploded in the internet in .05 seconds after being posted

They still dont know it though, oblivious to everything around them

I have a lot of gas in my stomach now i think I'm gonna fart

PERCY'S DAM BROKE

He snorted at Rachel's statement

Man, he lost. A bruise to his ego. Damn

So at the garden of the place was where all the food lies.

Rachel left Percy at their rable to get more sweets from the dessert table.

But she was interrupted by an old man

You should go with men who can handle you better, wanna join me at my private room?

No thank you.

I bet that man of yours is just about looks. You will enjoy your time with me more.

Then he touched Rachel's bum

There goes her hand flying, smacking the face of the creepy old man

I said no can't you understand that?

Percy saw what happened and hurriedly came over

Why you!!! Do you know who I am?!

Yes, you are an entitled old man who thinks money can cover up all your sins so you just harass women all the time at parties that you just invited yourself into.

You bitch!

The old man's hand swinging towards Rachel was stopped by a strong hand.

Percy's face expression was like when he was fighting monsters in Tartarus. Ready for the kill

He held the man's wrist tightly it might break

Don't you dare a lay your dirty hand on her

Oooh hes so scary also hot af

Media loves this

Also Rachel was confidently standing there expecting the slap but also relieved to see Percy there

The man was scared shitless so Rachel held Percy's bicep and told him to let go

Then she walked towards the man, fixing his tux with a determined power of a woman wronged by a creeply old man

She said in low tone

I know who you are and all the things you do. If you dont want them on the news headline tonight I suggest you stop right here

Of course she doesnt know him, she doesnt even know whatever he does

But she was trained by Drew to be a manipulative biatch at times of need

The internet loves Rachel and Percy

Also they realized that Percy wasnt a sub to Rachel's dom

So they speculated they're verse

The next morning Rachel's back into her normal sweatpants tshirt combo eating cereal next to her full dressed parents eating lavish breakfast

My dear, you've become quite famous last night

Rachel's mother showed her the articles and pictures and just coos at her

Only if the speculations of you and him together is true

Said his Dad

Maybe... Rachel said.

[gunnerpalace]

Hi! Same anon as the previous one. Tbh, I agree wholeheartedly with you. Y'see I do ask rhetorically,too but i could really accept and understand how and why ppl can be oblivious to IchiRuki, and somehow felt that the 'canon' should suffice, even the most excruciating of all is the fact a number found the ending even acceptable (ships aside, too). Again, I could respect that. But it's my greatest bane when ppl ask 'why' and not be clear they are asking rhetorically because I literally will

provide you an actual answer. And I get it, it’s the reason why ppl find shipping wars toxic and silly. But then again, as human, conflicts are always part of us (partly because as social psych explains so, we are gravitated to the negative for that allows us to change and survive), and the reason why “logical fallacies” are coined in the first place. Human will always debate, and argue about something; the only thing we could change is how we approach the opposing views.

Again, I dont condone any way, shape or form of abuse and harm. In some certain extent, I could perhaps understand it’s much harder for some IH to approach the actual argument being there’s either too much noise, and trapped in their own island between sea of salt. Thus becoming too acquianted w/ few IH who shared the same thought until it became their views as the only truth (see, that’s why its important to have debates! it is what keep us grounded and fair! Just like you said)

Who am I to speak though? I never ever challenged anyone anyways. And as you said, you just have to understand things in every way you could possibly think of–endless ‘whys’. Which is where I agree in your reply the most–this silly fandom wars is just the black mirror to every truth that lies beneath human psyche–the dark and the grimy. Heck, being a psych major is like staring at dark hole–at times, good, but most just plain confusing, revolting even or just heartbreaking.

Sorry it’s been long, but for the final of this ask: let me tell how glad I was with IchiRuki fandom I found in tumblr. It was the saltiest I’ve ever been (im not generally a fandom person anyways) but it’s the himalayan salt–expensive and actually nutritive it really deepened my desire to become wiser in general. And you for your wonderful essays, critiques and whatnot. I definitively would love to talk with you more not only about IchiRuki but the wonders and nightmare that us humans! Kudos!

I have sitting in my drafts a post spelling out my thoughts on “canon” (and thus, the people who cling to it) in that as a concept it privileges:

officiality over quality when it comes to validity (thus violating Sturgeon’s law)

corporations (intellectual property rights holders) over fans, and thus capitalists over proletarians

hierarchical dominance over mutualist networking within fandom

curative fandom over transformative fandom

genre over literary content

plot over characters

events over emotions

It is notable that (1) generally degrades art as a whole, (2) generally advances the capitalist agenda, and (3–7) generally advances the dominance of men over women (as the genders tend to be instructed by society to view these as A. dichotomies rather than spectrums, and B. to ascribe gender to them and make them polarities). These form the sides of a mutually reinforcing power structure (in the typical “Iron Triangle” fashion) designed to preserve and maintain the status quo.

Who really benefits from say, the policing of what is or is not “canon” in Star Wars? Disney, first and foremost. And then whomever (almost certainly male) decides to dedicate their time to memorizing the minutiae of whatever that corporation has decided is “legitimate.”

One can imagine a universe in which fan fic is recognized by companies for what it is: free advertising. (Much like fan art already is.) Instead, it is specifically targeted by demonetization efforts in a way that fan art isn’t. Why? Because it demonstrates that corporate control and “official” sanction has no bearing on quality, and it is thus viewed as undermining the official products.

In the same way, by demonstrating that most “canonical” works are frankly shit, it undermines the investiture of fans in focusing on details that are ultimately errata (the events, the plot, the genre), which is the core function of curative fandom and the reason for its hierarchical structure. The people who “know the most” are at the top, but what they “know” is basically useless garbage. And those people so-engaged are, of course, usually male.

To “destroy” the basis of their credibility, and indeed the very purpose of their community, is naturally viewed by them as an attack.

(This is not to say that efforts to tear down internal consistency within established cultural properties are good unto themselves, or even desirable. For example, efforts to redefine properties such as Star Wars, Star Trek, Doctor Who, and Ghostbusters, for the sake of a identity-politics agenda have largely A. failed as art, B. failed as entertainment, C. failed to attract the supposedly intended audience, and D. failed to advance the agenda in question. Trying to repurpose extant media in the name of culture wars is essentially always doomed to failure unless it is done deftly and gradually.)

(At the same time, this also shows what I was talking about last time, with regard to people seeing whatever they want to see. You will see people complain that Star Trek and Doctor Who didn’t “used to be so political,” which is obviously nonsense. These shows were always political. What changed was how their politics were presented. For example, Star Trek has, since TNG, always shown a nominally socialist or outright communist future, but was beloved by plenty of conservatives because they could [somehow] ignore that aspect of it.)

Of course, almost no one is seriously suggesting that one side of the spectrums outlined above be destroyed, rather merely that a new balance be struck upon the spectrum. But, as we have seen time and again in society, any threat to the status quo, whether that be 20% of Hugo Awards going to non-white male authors or the top income tax rate in America being increased by a measly 5.3% (from 28.7% to 34%… when the all-time high was 94% and for over 50 years it was above 50%) is a threat. This is why, for example, Republicans are out there branding AOC as a “socialist” when her policies are really no different at all from a 1960 Democrat who believed in FDR’s New Deal. (Which they, of course, have also demonized as “socialism.”)

(As an aside, all this ignores the fact that most of the “literary canon” of Western civilization, or at least English literature… is Biblical or historical fan fic.)

And this is when I finally get to my point.

Those people out there who denigrate and mock shippers and shipping, the people who hurl “it reads like fan fiction” as an insult, and so on, are the people who benefit from and enjoy the extant power structure. You will see the same thing with self-identified “gamers” complaining about “fake girl gamers.” Admitting that the hobby has a lot of women in it, and a lot of “casuals,” and is indeed increasingly dominated by “non-traditional demographics” is an affront to the constructed identity of being a “gamer.” They are “losing control.” And they don’t like it.

This exact same sort of population is what the “fanbase” of Bleach has been largely reduced down to through a slow boiling off of any actual quality. Of course they’re dismissive of people who are looking for anything of substance: their identity, their “personal relationship” with the franchise, is founded on a superficial appreciation of it: things happening, flashy attacks, eye-catching character designs, fights, etc.

(What this really boils down to, at heart, is that society at large has generally told men that emotions are bad, romance and relationships of all kinds are gross, and that thinking and reflecting on things is stupid. So of course they not only don’t care about such things, but actively sneer at them as “girly” or “feminine,” which is again defined by society at large as strictly inferior. And this gender divide and misogyny is of course promulgated and reinforced by the powers that be, the capitalists, to facilitate class divisions just like say racism generally is.)

(The latest trick of these corporate overlords has been the weaponization of “woke” culture to continue to play the people off one another all the time. “If you don’t like this [poorly written, dimensionless Mary Sue] Strong Female Character, then you are a racist misogynist!” They are always only ever playing both sides for profit, not advancing an actual ideological position. It is worth noting that there was a push by IH some years ago to define IR as “anti-feminist” for critiquing Orihime for essentially the exact same reasons [admittedly, not for profit, but still as critical cover].)

Which makes it very curious, therefore, that the most ardent IH supporters tend to be women. (Though there are more than a few men, they seem to tend to support it because it is “canon” and to attack it is to attack “canon” and thus trigger all of the above, rather than out of any real investment.) I think there are a number of reasons for this (which I have detailed before) and at any rate it is not particularly surprising; 53% of white women voted for Trump, after all.

What we are really seeing in fandom, are again the exact same dynamics that we see at larger and larger scales, for the exact same reasons. The stakes are smaller, but the perception of the power struggle is exactly the same.

Of course, the people who are involved in these things rarely think to interrogate themselves as to the true dimensions and root causes of their motivations. People rarely do that in general.

Putting all that aside, I’m glad that you have found a place you enjoy and feel comfortable, and thank you for the kind words, although I am not of the opinion that there is anything poignant about the non-fiction I write. It is, as I keep trying to emphasize, all there to be seen. One just has to open their eyes. So, it’s hard for me to accept appreciation of it.

Anyway, don’t feel shy about coming off of anon rather than continuing to send asks. We don’t really bite.

[bladekindeyewear]

HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-03-12

I have been told only a few things about the upd8 that just landed, over Discord by two people:

upd19 feat. 4,901,157 read it. now. note: the featuring note is accurate if in a different base than what you might be expecting

What the fuck does that even mean.

Okay Pretty good chapter.

...from another friend who VERY dislikes HS^2?  Oh shit.

I also glimpsed a post that may or may not have been about Homestuck at all at the top of my Tumblr feed for an instant that said “YES YES YES YES YES” in huge bold print.  I have no idea whether to be excited or nervous.

Okay, it’s not a Bonus update... let me comb through from an earlier page to be careful not to get a spoilerlook at the pagecount...

...huh.  That seems... like a conversation that would be up my alley, but not necessarily unique so far or worth all this crowing about.  I thought we were about to get Dirk-aliens with a full Horschestra backing... are we getting something else?

> CHAPTER 6. A Conversation Regarding Relevance

Hmmmmmmmm.  With the contrast between their reactions and this ominous buildup, there’s got to be a serious fun-twist coming.  Right?  --I’ll stop with that talk for the moment though.

space is vast. an unproductive statement, almost a tautology. [...]

Alright, that and the starry background are riffing the fuck off Star Trek.  Nice homage to Andrew’s roots.

the lives of the many are far too volatile and instinct-driven

Alt!Callie what the fuck are you doing.  This is intentional now.  You can’t play this off as “what’s a Star Trek”.

tautologies are, in general, reserved for stories. for narrative device. for finding new and inventive ways to tell an audience that which they already know.

God damnit she’s still doing it

neither of us ever able to convince the other of the righteousness of our stance. we were never meant to agree. it isn’t in our blood.

Blah blah overanalyzing classpect blah

when they scoff at my tautology ‘space is vast’, what do they really know? nothing. as far as any of them have experienced, space does not exist.

It’s still nice to see some real personality leak through on Alt!Callie.  We definitely know from her other self that she can develop quite a relatable and colorful one.  Have the years helped?

> ==>

dramantic pouse... ........

Also,

-look at that collar.  Damn, Callie, that is a collar

very few have stood and looked into the abyss, the true gulf of nothingness that spreads out around the single point of consciousness adrift in a constellation. all the combined weight of sentient endeavour would quail underneath that sheer, irresistible truth. the realization that they are so small, that the universe cares about their puny lives so very little. sitting in the glowing light of the stars this becomes even more apparent

In the official aspect quiz I never took the time to analyze, the aspects were put on a wheel where Space was a neighbor to Void, if I recall correctly.  I wonder how much those aspects engender feelings of goddamnit I’m doing it again aren’t I

...

are we out of orange juice?

Yesss let more personality Alt!Callie bleed through, more of it~

Wait, does Alt!Callie even taste through Jade?  Isn’t this remote control?  Is she vicariously drawing pleasure from Jade’s not-just-meat-or-candy mostly-human taste buds or?

> ==>

JADE: are you talking to me? JADE: because if you are i would like to remind you that i hate!! orange juice!!

OH FUCK YES!!! SHE’S IN THERE AND AWAKE!!! SHE STILL HAS AT LEAST ENOUGH AGENCY TO BE PRESENT AND ARGUE WITH CALLIE! YESSSSSS

no you don’t.

JADE: well i guess i never really had a strong opinion on it before JADE: but now i cant stand it!! JADE: its all you drink!

i like the pulp.

QUIT INADVERTANTLY FORCING SHIT ON JADE WITH NARRATIVESPEAK GIVE HER A BIT OF LEEWAY ALT!CALLIE YOU CONTROLLING--

JADE: its my body and i dont want orange juice! JADE: i hate pulp, and i didnt just make that up to spite you JADE: who wants strings in their juice?

i do.

JADE: ughhhhhhhhh

I have had friends hopefully fantasize about and/or therapeutically roleplay this exact situation with Jade breaking through and arguing with Alt!Callie’s control to make this all a fair bit more palatable but I didn’t dare to hope we’d get even THIS much

Maybe the HS^2 authors DO care about not leaving us wallowing in hopeless witness to the characters’ constant torture and existential turbosuffering!!!! :#D

i realize that jade’s situation is less than ideal from a characterization perspective, but i still politely point out that nobody likes a whiner.

Fuck you, this isn’t CALIBORN you’re trying to repress you asshole!  Leave Jade some AGENCY!!!!!  She deserves it!!

JADE: fuck you rude calliope inside my head!

YES EXACTLY

JADE: why dont you try being possessed by the spirit of some other version of a good friend of yours, and floated around a spaceship full of people you love JADE: unable to affect anything or say hello to anyone! JADE: then tell me about whiners!

i killed my brother and consumed him.

JADE: sounds like a you problem

Compromise and give her some agency finally come on compromise and give her some agency you red-text twatwaffle

i suggest to the witch that i have spent untold eons in the void between universes, waiting for the moment i would be needed to prevent the dissipation of reality as we know it. her appeals to emotion will not help her. i will remain unmoved.

Oh god damnit.

JADE: well i had to watch my boyfriend and my brother die in front of me on a tiny scaled version of a world that i shrunk for them! JADE: and then spend the next three years talking to myself, wracked with guilt that id killed them!

Oh. God. Damnit.  This had better not be where the Suicide trigger warning was coming from.  Are there going to be any characters left who DIDN’T emerge from this mess feeling suicidal?!?  (I mean if there were any understandable case it would be three years alone on the golden ship Jade but-- I mean COME ON, we have to discuss that in our FIRST GLIMPSE at her since the epilogues?!?)

> ==>

i remind the witch that my time was in the void, which is far darker and lonelier [...]

Oh fuck you don’t compare suffering as an excuse to COMPLETELY body-enslave and squash the agency of someone when you probably don’t have to.  You’re just doing what’s COMFORTABLE alt!Callie admit it.  There’s a way you could give her some leeway, I’m almost positive.

JADE: even if i had the powers of a first guardian, my brain still worked in modules of human pattern recognition! JADE: three years is a long time for a human teenager, i dont care how many of her molecules are made of a god!

(i love it when jade talks smart, that bit of the epilogues was a treat too, plz reveal more of the big brain on jade)

It seems Jade can’t see or quite understand the full import of there being a “narrative”.  Or THINKS she cant, because she still says:

JADE: your voice is impossible to read and i cant see your face

If she’s “reading” alt!Callie’s remarks, that means she’s breaking through to understand the narrative to SOME extent.  She might be one of the ones who learns to do that a little more and better in the future, especially with alt!Callie almost unintentionally training her to see it.

> ==>

Oh, good.  So A!C’s not above being considerate.  That’s a step in the right direction.

> ==>

D’aww, Jade conceding and trying to empathize like her usual self.  I appreciate it.  :)  --but Alt!Callie’s definitely in the wrong here.

JADE: but i think it is a very natural thing to be silly when you are used to being able to control your own body, but now cant

i will allow that, yes.

Thanks.  Learn some damned reason.

jade smiles. dave and karkat will always be a source of pain for her, a low ache somewhere in her center of gravity, but she is happy for them. she knows that there is really no other alternative for how to be. they chose each other over her, and they always will. they are the two people who matter to her the most in every universe, and that will not change, no matter how much she wishes it would, no matter how--

JADE: do you actually know that?

pardon me?

Oh, shit.

JADE: do you actually know that im doomed to pine over dave and karkat across every iteration of reality? JADE: like, can you actually see that? JADE: because youre a space player, like i am. JADE: i know that you are more powerful than me, but i dont think you can see other timelines any better than i can JADE: so i think you are just being dramatic JADE: for the “audience”, whatever the heck that means

i experience a moment of unease as jade looks at me. keeping her out of my thoughts is proving to be more difficult than i had first assumed it would be.

That’s a damned interesting question.  I was giving the narrative the benefit of the doubt, but given everything the Epilogues warned us about when it came to the narrators and alt!Callie’s occasional slips into her own bias, I really should have known better.

i had begun confident that i could keep her consciousness sleeping peacefully inside the shell of her body, tamed and quiescent, but she has proved to be more irascible than i initially gave her credit for.

JADE: heheh JADE: i have never been particularly tamable, and my consciousness is huge!

This might end up playing out more like my friend’s Jade-breaks-out roleplays than I initially assumed.  (What does she mean “huge consciousness” though?  Superpowered due to part-First-Guardian, like she alluded earlier in the conversation?  That never got much play before, so it’s great to see that potential realized here a bit...)

> ==>

...I’m a fucking idiot.  Of COURSE “huge consciousness” and the whole line around it was just an unsubtle double-entendre.  A small part of me actually wondered if it was and dismissed it as a clumsy reading in an instant.  How stupid am I?  Jade is the best.

If only this sort of thing worked on Cherubs.

> ==>

Yeah.  It really doesn’t.

...Alt!Callie, you are a fucking war-criminal for bottling all these double-entendres up where none of the others can appreciate them.

> ==>

JADE: you are a pretty tough crowd, evil callie JADE: but yes, i can hear most of what you are thinking to yourself JADE: it took a little while to separate it from my own thoughts, just like it did with dirk JADE: because thats what he was doing the whole time, wasnt it? JADE: controlling our thoughts JADE: making us believe things we never would, things he thought we SHOULD believe

Fucking excellent.  She’s definitely training herself on this shit.  The more people who have a harder time getting fooled by this nonsense the better.

jade knows all of this, i don’t have to tell her. she is a very bright girl, and even if she didn’t have partial access to my thoughts, she is good at compiling data and using it to fill in gaps. as she herself had rather licentiously mentioned, her brain is quite large.

C:

and all of these reasons are why i know i can count on her to be reasonable and realistic about her situation. i need a body to continue interfacing with this timeline, and her body is the only one that will do.

Dammit.  Trying to get her to logic her way back into keeping Alt!Callie in complete control.  That’s a tactic that will probably work.  :(

what about [kanaya], jade? she is a space player, it is true, but her powers are nothing compared to yours. for one, she isn’t god tier, and for two, she is dead. a living dead, but dead nonetheless.

Hm.  Are you saying she maybe has less relevance, less of an effect on her surroundings because she spent some of her “cred” on unconventional partial resurrection?  To the extent where she’d make a less influential vessel?  Hmm.

For that to even matter, you have to be planning to use Jade’s Space powers too.  Taking a far more active role in things than narrative beacon.

and a sylph’s specializations lie on a different end of the spectrum from my own. a witch is a far closer match.

!!!!!

Sounds like details of the classpect system that we don’t know will have relevance in HS^2, and we’re indeed gonna possibly get some actual new, clearer details about the system Andrew invented unlike the dearth of new info the Epilogues brought us.  That is... promising.

no, jade understands and sympathizes with my assurance that her body, and her body alone, will do for my purposes.

JADE: um...no i dont!

YES.  Jade is now officially immune to absolute command! :D :D :D

she does. after all, she would not wish this sort of state of being on anyone else, and especially not on one of her friends. jade may have undergone a lopsided number of narrative hardships in her life, but at least she is used to them. why spread that suffering to another?

What the fucking shit???  You’re using that on her?  You think it’ll WORK?!

jade understands and accepts her place in the story, which has always been to enable events to play out around her, just as it has been mine.

..........yeah Jade’s gonna bust the fuck out on the very next page, isn’t she.

What the fuck is Alt!Callie thinking, here?  Wasn’t the other Calliope the one to let us know that the Witch is one of the most active classes there is??  ...what exactly does a Witch officially do anyway, for Alt!Callie to think saying such a thing wasn’t dead wrong?  This sounds MUCH more like the sort of statement someone might make after breezing through Homestuck and confusing the old Jade (cough) for the person she grew up into.

And the fact that you’re phrasing this as a narrative command to try and make her forcibly THINK this way deserves you a smack in the non-literal depictive face.  Let’s see if you get one:

> ==>

Oh wow, no smack yet?!  That’s some restraint!

because what is a story, truly? nothing but a series of misadventures and connections, actions spurring reactions, tumbling into one another, over and over and over. with so many competing interests, clearly the story cannot account for all perspectives, for all threads? it would be laughable, childish, even selfish, to demand that they do.

in other words, not everyone will achieve a happy ending. this is a truth that jade had come to grips with a long time ago.

JADE: wait. JADE: stop. JADE: why are you saying all of this?

Ohh.  Because she still had even MORE smackworthy stuff left to say, to make the smack even SMACKIER, didn’t she.  Alt!Callie you asshole.  If this gets you kicked out of her almost entirely and jeopardizes the crew as Jade struggles to combat Dirk’s narrative influence on her OWN, then I’m fucking blaming YOU!  Do you realize how horrible it’ll be if Dirk gets to almost singlehandedly write the whole story around her and the others for the first section of HS^2 with only one or two characters aware and trying to mentally avert it??  We already TRIED that in the Epilogues!  It was awful!

jade’s body is my vessel, and it is through this realization that she will understand her true role in the story. her true relevance.

Go fuck yourself, Alt!Callie.  Read the audience a bit!

if i released my hold on her consciousness, there would be no guarantee that i would be allowed in again. therefore i cannot permit her the control of herself that she so desperately craves, and she understands that.

THAT’S your reasoning your used-to-surpressing-Caliborn ignorant--!??

JADE: wait. so...you could give me my body back, and then just hop back in when you need to?

in theory, yes.

JADE: then what the hell callie!

because i don’t trust you to cooperate when the time comes.

MotherfuckerTheMusical.mp4

(or real existing equivalent that’s just off the top of my head)

JADE: why not? JADE: i thought you said i was a reasonable girl with a huge brain!

you are, to an extent.

she is. but the truth of the matter remains that humans are capricious and emotional. and even jade herself can admit that she hasn’t been the most...committed example of her species in the last few years.

Oh my fucking god.  I know they’re trying to make this more satisfying when she actually DOES take control in a few panels, but, Alt!Callie, seriously, get more on your other self’s level!!!

> ==>

Yes, please >:O some more

moving from lover to lover, job to job, interest to interest. over the last few years jade had found herself listless, unable to settle and unwilling to commit to anything or anyone. she knows there’s nothing wrong with that on a moral level, but on a personal level she’s always believed that she could be more, could do better. be better. and now, because of this, she realizes that sacrifices must be made.

and that she, as a space player, is uniquely built for sacrifice.

JADE: yeah JADE: i guess youre right JADE: i have been such a silly little slut! JADE: hey callie

yes, jade?

JADE: oh my god, whats that!!!!

You are so fucking screwed Alt!Callie.

this space is utterly under my control. jade could control it too, if she had any access to her own powers. but with my grip around her cortex, there is no chance of that.

(Wait, there’s an extent to which this space is “real” and not imaginary?  Or does holding her space powers in check also mean keeping her imaginary space powers in check?)

Anyway, here comes the smack.  And, though Alt!Callie deserves this, I hope Dirk isn’t let in too often amidst the others as a result.

> ==>

Yup, poising to pounce...

> ==>

I thought there was a weird infinity symbol underneath them but it’s just two spotlights and a shadow cast by her head.

and here i make my first mistake.

No you made your first mistakes WAAAY earlier in this conversation.  And what you did to Jade in general.  She’s a hero/player for a reason, she doesn’t take stuff lying down forever.

but bringing her into a place where we can both physically manifest has left me, foolishly, vulnerable.

First, physically manifest?  This isn’t pure imaginationspace?  And second, she’s going to blame her polite concession to Jade for this and hold on even tighter the next time, isn’t she.  God damnit, not looking forward to that.  Alt!Callie won’t learn her lesson til the end, will she?  :(

her fingers tear at my throat, trying to find purchase. she won’t be able to kill me here, but it is certainly unpleasant, and not to mention slightly repetitive. we just saw this in the previous chapter, although this particular fight will not end as amorously as the last one did. so don’t get your hopes up.

JADE: who! JADE: are you talking to!

I really hope Jade ends up with full narrative powerOOOOOHHHH FUCK THEY COULD GO FOR THAT HUH

Dirk was able to become an Ultimate Self in his own body because it was the uniting of an irrepressible “self” that he always unbreakably represented.  The others had more trouble.

But Jade

has a BIG PART-GOD BRAIN as reinforced in the narrative repeatedly!!

Meaning that later, SHE could Ultimate Self without ANY PHYSICAL CONSEQUENCE.  :D

I was hoping Jade would end up with full narrative-dictating-and-reading power when she wants to use it, at some point, but I might’ve been aiming too low! :D :D :D

Yaaaaaaaaaaaay

Now all the playfully-horny omnipotent Jade fanfics are true, what that totally isn’t part of why I love this go ahead and admit she doesn’t deserve it

> ==>

Yesss flashy gif struggle against control!  (Though, not as elegant as one of Andrew’s might’ve been. Gotta say.)

> ==>

Blinky-eyes about to resolve normal-Jade-colored....!

> ==>

Wait, what?  I thought Jade was about to snap in and--

during the ship’s trip through space, there have been numerous experiments; modifications to the nutrition output of the various machines designed to create sustenance for the various species on board. i myself have been content with orange juice and synthetic proteins, but dave and roxy have both expressed longing for various ‘earth snacks’, and so the trials and errors began.

What the fuck?  I don’t even know where this is going if it’s punways.

Is there like a dog treat somewhere that’s gonna push her over the edge?  Where is this headed even.

> ==>

Wh...

WHa??????

the results were mixed. as roxy told us in a previous chapter, alchemized food all sort of tastes the same, although the visuals really help to bring about the flavor. and at the end of the day, isn’t it the journey that is more important than the destination? the stories you tell as you create the strangely flavored nutritional paste?

JADE: ????????????

Um??  What’s even going on.

so far, everyone’s favorite attempt has been a vaguely peanut-butter and chocolate flavored creation called "Rices'". nobody eats them really. they just sit in a bowl on the counter.

i’m not actually sure what the witch is trying to accomplish here.

Is Jade trying to humorously gross Alt!Callie out of her body with a candy she doesn’t like or?  But, “suicide threat”? Why joke--

JADE: you dont? JADE: really?

i don’t know what she is trying to accomplish, because surely she would not be doing what it appears she is trying to do. making such a meaningless threat.

JADE: meaningless? JADE: do you even know anything about the body you stole? JADE: shouldnt you have run some sort of psychic physical before you possessed it? JADE: its definitely what i would have done!

Oh SHIT.  You mean Jade has the same peanut allergy JOHN does?!?

> ==>

jade must know that i am well-aware of her family-wide peanut allergy. a story thread that has been extremely important and weighed in on in multiple parts of the narrative. how could i have forgotten such a key detail?

...yes, she totally forgot, but more than that.

I’m betting John is the ONLY one with a peanut allergy.  That Jade is USING that fact to bluff like hell.  :D

(Allergies aren’t usually inherited that way you alien!)

there is nothing remotely just or heroic about dying from self-imposed anaphylactic shock in the throes of a childish tantrum. at the most i’ll get a relaxing few minutes of sleep.

Is Alt!Callie bluffing now?  Even a resurrecting death could throw her off.

> ==>

FUCK YES JADE.

JADE: do you really want to risk it?

what are you talking about, jade? i just said--

FUCK YES JADE, BE A HUGE WITCH

(i say in the most witch-connotatively and non-classpect-related way)

JADE: i dont know, callie JADE: ive never really understood the rules that govern the death of a god tier, have you? JADE: it seems pretty arbitrary from where im standing JADE: who makes the decision whether or not something is heroic or just?

...that’s unclear. but it certainly isn’t you.

JADE: right, of course not JADE: but are you so confident that youre a good guy? JADE: are you sure that the alpha timeline WANTS you to be here?

...what.

JADE: youve done some stuff, callie JADE: im only saying you shouldnt be so quick to assume that me killing you wouldnt be just JADE: and that taking my own life to do it wouldnt be heroic

Even with JUST this one fucking situation Alt!Callie put her in, throwing off her control forever by dying would be shortsighted but HELLA JUST.  What Alt!Callie is doing to her is a crime.

Oh shit!?!?

> [S] ==>

What is this, HTML5?  *clicks play*

...for a second, I thought this was gonna launch into a huge thing with that clock ticking song from the Felt album.

Having Rose and Dirk’s colors competing here really reinforces that... Prospit vs Derse vibe that was feeding the whole this-is-the-basis-for-the-game’s-structure-and-the-birth-of-Paradox-Space theory more earlier.

> ==>

i don’t let the witch manipulate me. i refuse to falter in the face of her whispers. without my careful planning and swift action, the prince would have taken full control over this timeline. none of my friends could even begin to imagine the turmoil.

In the end, you’re ignoring what’s right and brave in this instance to instead do something EXPEDIENT, to the exclusion of trust and compassion when things COULD work out just as well without taking the worst actions -- which is textbook villainous.

> ==>

JADE: they arent your friends!! JADE: you took them from me!

Now isn’t THAT a way to put it. :D :D :D

Alt!Callie is sinning almost as badly as Dirk, here.  Viewing everyone else as characters in a story, the only way she’s ever viewed “friends”, and her as the not-so-humble narrator doing what’s best for all of them.  If she’s going to win against Dirk -- or if that victory is going to MEAN anything -- she will HAVE to realize that she needs to be different.

JADE: you keep saying that youre doing all of this for my own good, but youre just lonely! JADE: i know you are, because so am i!

Ouch.

Will Alt!Callie force her to swallow it?

JADE: you said that being a space player is all about sacrifice JADE: well

> ==>

JADE: bet

...I guess she really might have an allergy.

> ==>

Aaaand the candy drops.  A W A K E ! ! ! !

Yaaaaay Jade is BACK and we’ll get to see even more of her!!!

...please tell me on the next page she grabs the candy, noms it, and mentions she doesn’t have a peanut allergy after all.  That would be sweet.

> ==>

...

Nope, you just leave us on a sad.  Dammit, why do you gotta be all adult and showin’ us both sides in a moment of triumph, HS^2.  Shucks.

Anyway, YAY JADE!  C:

I am happy by this, if slightly too emotionally-rollercoastered by the past 24-hours to give this the full-rejoicing it deserves.  That, and worried about the openings Dirk will get because of this... joy now for potential frustration later, even if Jade tries her best to let Alt!Callie back in in-time.

See y’all next time!  And, uhm.  I guess I’ll comment on whatever other asks I promised to comment on another less-eventful day.  Keep reminding me and holding me to it though!

[marsupials-of-mars]

Visiting (pt 2)

Part 1 Part 3

@love-has-failed-me @impatentpending @friendlyfatherfigment @procrastinations-my-middle-name @despacitosanders @heyitsmeimjustkindahere @simplyskipper @ai-incarnate @aromanticandaromatic @vicdehart @readytobakebread

Roman sat on the edge of the mind palace stage, letting his legs hang down and looking out at the sea of empty seats. He often went there to think, but exactly what he was trying to think about he wasn’t entirely sure of. He sighed. He needed a friend to talk to.

He pulled out his phone. A string of stern and panicked texts greeted him from his lockscreen. He quickly turned it off and stuffed it back in his pocket. It was clear that Virgil was not going to be too open to earnestly discussing Roman’s feelings when it came to who they were about.

Roman thought a moment before conjuring a less angry Virgil next to him. He turned to his creation.

“Hey sunshine.”

“Hey sir sickening.” Virgil layed back on the stage, swinging his bare heels against the side. “What’s the sitch?”

“I’m confused.”

“Aren’t we all?”

“Its Deceit… I know he hasn’t been the greatest in the past, but what if hes not so bad? He seems so… encouraging. And I know he lies but hes obviously honest when he regards me so highly, isn’t he? And he mentions it a lot so…”

Virgil pushed himself upright. “Are you kidding? His title is DECEIT! He doesn’t give a shit about-”

Roman quickly froze the image. He stared at the now stone still Virgil. Maybe a little too realistic for what he wanted in the moment. He wiped that Virgil from existence and conjured another, much more positive Virgil.

“Hey handsome!” Virgil smiled sincerely.

“The most accurate name yet! Yknow, I like you!” Roman beamed in pride at his new and improved friend. Ideal.

“What’s bugging you?” He pushed his bangs out of his eyes and pulled off his hoodie. Much more approachable.

“Its Deceit…”

“Ooo a crush!” Virgil chuckled and crossed his legs.

“Yeah, I dont know what to say around him, I’m usually so articulate and confident!”

“Yeah, that’s weird. And you’re usually extremely brave and handsome too…”

Roman gasped and clutched his chest. “Aw, thank you!” He considered how much better the real Virgil would be if he’d been responsible for making him in the first place.

“…What if you tried practicing?”

“Practicing?”

“You’ve got this whole stage, you can conjure whatever, why not a practice Deceit?”

“Virgil I love that idea!”

“It was your idea! I’m imaginary!”

“Very true, I’m so smart!”

“You are!” Virgils voice was made slightly more robotic as he fell out of character. It was hard to conjure such opposite lines from a voice that Roman had never heard talk in such a way before. Roman swung his legs back onto the stage and stood, striding to the center and conjuring a Deceit. He took a deep breath.

“Deceit!”

“Roman.” He smirked. “You called?”

Roman’s breath caught in his throat. “I did! I… wanted to share with you…”

“You’re doing great!” Virgil flashed Roman a thumbs up.

“I, Prince Roman, wanted to share with you… my feelings! Those feelings specifically being in regards to…” He gripped his sash. Deceit smirked, raising a brow.

“Regards to…?”

Too real. This practice was far too real. He shut his eyes and quickly conjured a dragon. It swooped down, a rush of strong wind under its heavy leather wings, violently whipping their hair against their faces. Deceit yelped as he was snagged in a large, sturdy talon and taken upwards, circling the theater.

“FEIND! Release my prince or taste my sword!”

A low, rumbling voice echoed through the theater; “Never! You dare to disturb my meal! I will end your life!”

“You dare to disturb my prince, I’ll end yours!” He grabbed the hilt of his sword and drew it valiantly. “Have at thee!”

The dragon swooped, billowing fire, setting the curtains up in flame. Roman jumped, grabbing the base of its tail and gripping his blade between his teeth as he gripped scales and spines, climbing up the jagged back of the creature. It rolled its body in the air, thrashing as much as it could while maintaining its aerodynamics, vainly trying to shake off its valiant assailant. Roman continued to scale the beast, pressing his body flesh with its cold, scaly surface. He finally reached its shoulder and let out a battle cry as he dropped, grabbing its arm and vaulting himself against its chest, plunging his sword into it’s under-armored ribcage. The beast fell into an airborne death roll before careening into the ground, sending theater chairs flying, torn from their bolts. Roman ran across the belly of his vanquished foe to its feet, now loose enough to pry his prince from their clutches. Deceit looked up at Roman from his strong arms, dizzy and panting, but fully enamored.

“Roman… you saved my life! You truly are-”

“Incredible!” Roman blinked. The voice was Deceit, but not the one in his arms. He looked up and his eyes locked with another, much more real Deceit’s. He was seated in the back row, hidden in shadows, applauding boisterously. “What a show! Such a beautiful production!”

The dragon, Virgil, and fake Deceit all vanished simultaneously in a puff of golden dust. Within the same second the theater’s destruction was undone.

“Deceit!” Roman choked on his words. How much had he seen? “Thank…you.” he struggled to form a sentence so he saved his questions. Perhaps Deceit would answer some himself, as he had already risen to approach Roman.

Roman remained frozen in place, only growing redder as Deceit reached him, placed his hands on his shoulders, and grinned.

“I’m impressed. I hope you didn’t mind my stopping in, but what’s a show without an audience to appreciate the cast? And what a cast it was…”

Roman’s fears were confirmed. He’d recognized the prince in peril. He took a breath.

“Thanks! Thank you. Um…how did you know…?”

“Well I found Remus digging through my drawers with a jarring lack of a brother to accompany him. So I was understandably prompted to ask where you might have gone, out of concern. But clearly you had it all under control. That being said;” Deceit reached behind his back and presented roman with a velvet red rose. “I enjoyed the show.”

Roman took the offering, unable to save face. He beamed, face flushing a similar hue as the flower.

“Thank you! Really… I thought…”

“Hm?”

“I never would have thought you’d be this kind.”

“Well of course. Your knowledge of me is constrained to Virgils stories. And a few occasions in which I was forced to be a bit more brash to get a point across. Which I apologize for. Truly.”

Roman studied Deceit’s face but couldn’t detect any tells, though he wasn’t usually the best judge of what was or was not a tell. In any case, whether it was a lie or not, it left him perplexed.

“No need. Though last time we talked you seemed really adamant on making me feel awful about myself.” Roman realized after the words left his mouth how pathetic they sounded.

“Oh, no no no, was that how you took it? I was merely trying to be honest with my views of you, what you wanted, I was trying to help you. I’m not quite used to being brutally honest so I might have overdone the brutal part…”

“It’s…” Roman tried to decipher it all. Was it all a lie? Was everything a lie? He couldn’t tell, so he settled on what was best for his pride, that being that of course not, the object of his affections would never do such a thing. “It’s okay. I must have misunderstood the tone.” He smiled weakly.

“Look, we want the same thing. We know what Thomas needs. I admire you for that. If I didnt have you I’d go insane trying to get you all on board. You’re so much easier.”

Roman couldn’t tell whether or not he should take that as a compliment.

“Yeah…” he looked down at the flower in his hands. His heart fluttered as he noticed the thorns had been removed by hand. He cared. “Thank you.”

“Now, why dont we get you back up to the lights? We both know you dont really want to spend time with your brother, and I’m sure it’s been enough time to convince Patton that you did.”

Roman sputtered. “I- no, I said it was my choice to-”

Deceit chuckled. “Dont lie to me Roman. It’s best for the both of us. Down here, we’re judgement free. Remember that. And I hope you think to visit more often.”

Roman’s bravado finally found him.

“Maybe I will.” He pinned Deceit with his award winning lopsided smile, guaranteed to make any lady, lord, or nonbinary royalty swoon at the sight of. Deceit met it with a toothy grin, something Roman had never seen from him. Fangs. Long, clear fangs. Roman’s smile faltered a bit, not in fear but suprise. Deceit clearly delighted in his ability to throw anybody off their rhythm at a moments notice.

“You’re adorable your majesty.”

Roman choked and blushed. The sheer concentrations of flattery were like a punch to the gut.

“Thanks…” He squeaked it out. Deceit smirked and pressed his hands to Roman’s sides, gliding them down to his hips, pulling him closer.

“But honestly. I’m holding you to that. I get lonely down here… if you ever wanted to come keep me company…” He pushed up on his toes and leaned in, his fangs almost grazing Roman’s ear. “It would be our little secret~”

And that was when Roman checked out for good, his face burning and his vocabulary reduced to a series of unrelated syllables.

“Now run along, I’m sure you want to get home.” Deceit continued on as if he’d done nothing out of the ordinary.

Roman nodded, electing to keep his mouth shut for the fear of sounding like a nervous sims character. He bowed his head in farewell before quickly sinking out.

[fyrecrafted]

Heartless

Okay, so this is my first attempt at a horror fic. 

So many trigger warnings... Dont read if youre squeemish about blood/gore, curses etc. Involves self-mutilation on a mass scale. Dont say I didnt warn you. 

I only wanted his career to be even better... it was only supposed to make people love him more. I should never have dabbled in forces I was unfamiliar with. I caused all of this. This is all my fault, and I've ruined it all, and I don't know how to fix it... Or even if it can be fixed.

Tom walked out of his hotel room excited to begin a new project. He had initially been given the script to review about a year ago and was super hyped to get started. With a spring in his step he walked towards the elevators, ready to go grab a quick breakfast at a nearby cafe and head over to the set for the day. He hit the down button to request an elevator and heard footsteps coming near him. “Are you headed up or down?” He asked, ever the gentleman.

“Oh, my, God... Its you! I love you!” the person behind him exclaimed. Crunching, ripping, and gurgling noises soon followed.

With a raised eyebrow Tom turned towards the source of the disturbing sounds. Bile rose in his throat as he took in the sight of a young woman with a gaping hole in their chest, holding out their still beating heart out to him. 'This can't be real' he argued with himself... he knew very well this was real. Stage blood... staged shit didn't look like this. “What is going on? What the fuck is going on?” Blood pooled at her feet as she looked at him with pleading eyes, hoping he would take her beating organ from her. “How are you still alive? How did you do this? This can't be real...”

He turned and started smashing the elevator button in a panicked fervor. When the doors opened he dashed inside and smashed the button for the lobby. As the doors closed a flash of red flew past his head. The woman had thrown her heart into the elevator with Tom. The pulsating rhythm caused it to writhe around. He stared at it, so in shock that he started to disassociate from the situation. 'Its Halloween. This must be a prank... this has to be a sick prank.'

When the elevator reached its destination he got out of it as fast as he could. There was no one in the immediate vicinity, so he leaned against the wall in a desperate attempt to calm down. Just as he thinks he has a handle on himself, three people come around the corner. In unison they say “Its him!” the horrific sounds repeat, but this time he can see... He is frozen in space as each of them pushes a hand into their chest. Blood pours, bones crack, and hearts are rent from their places. They each kneel on one knee and place their beating hearts at his feet. Tom's face goes even paler than before. His legs give way and he wretches onto the floor. His vomit mixes with the pools of blood and shards of bone.

Seconds pass, the three still kneel in front of him. Adrenaline surges and he runs past them and out the front door of the hotel. A mob of paparazzi awaited him. He expected cameras to flash and to be rained with queries. What he did not expect was blank stares, those horrid sounds, and to be pelted by at least a hundred beating human hearts.

'Run' is all he could think. So he ran. And ran. Until he saw a large group of people in the distance and dove into an empty alleyway. It was too late though. It must have been some sort of Halloween parade, because moments later, thousands of hearts were hurled at him. He went numb until several very small ones rolled to his feet. He collapsed. Covered his ears, closed his eyes and screamed. They didn't leave. They just stood there, staring. Tom screamed until his throat was hoarse and only a papery whine came out.

People in hazmat suits forced their way through the crowds, but their suits did not stop whatever was causing this, and soon they joined the heartless crowd. Several others, in increasingly powerful protection measures, tried to get to the broken man, but they all succumbed. Finally, an entirely AI controlled SHIELD containment vehicle was able to retrieve him. Completely in shock, he did not even know he was being moved.

Days passed, different powered agents were sent to try to diagnose the particulars of what was causing this to occur. They all ended up in a heartless, zombie like state. He was kept deeply tranquilized until they finally found someone who could finally interact with him safely.

He blinked his eyes open, and put up his arm up to block the bright lights of the room. An all too familiar voice said “Oh, right, sorry. I'll dim them for you.”

Tom's head snapped towards the voice. “You, you're not real, you're just a character I play... Have I gone mad?” “No, Thomas, although I do understand how confused you must be.” Loki replied “How is this happening? What was all that... with those fucking hearts... the hearts... everywhere”

Loki deeply sighed before explaining “It would seem that someone found an ancient and extremely powerful spell. They seem to have either mistranslated it, or did not take its meaning to be literal. No one should have ever used this sort of thing. The only reason I am not effected by it is because I am heavily protecting myself using even more ancient and powerful magic.”

“I am so confused. How are you...? How is this...? How...?”

“Ah, well I assume you are familiar with the deity Loki? I was named after him. Odin had been named after the true All-Father, and he chose names of other deities for us. Its a custom in our culture for some to be named after the Gods. The man who wrote us into his comics, Mister Lee, had some interactions with several of us, and some powered individuals from your own world and based his fictional universe around all of that. When they went to make a movie about them, I worked things out so that you would play me. Your talent and the way you have an uncanny similarity to myself physically made me strongly desire for you to be the one to portray me.”

“So, you're real.”

“Yes.”

“Can you fix me?”

“Easily, but you won't want me to...”

“What, why not?” Tom's voice, though still hoarse, was filled wih a sad rage at this

“Thomas, I can break the curse, but... if I do, all those effected by it would die, instantly. The curse is keeping them all alive.-”

“But, there were children.” “I know. If we can find a way to, well, reassemble them, to where they are whole once more and can survive it, maybe it can be safely removed.”

“No, don't mess about with it unless you're completely sure.” tears welled up in his eyes and his throat choked up. “What happens to me?”

“For now you stay here. We are far underground in a SHIELD facility. It is fully automated, and so far, I am the only one who can safely be near you. Even Thor could not resist the power of this foul magic.”

“What if... what if you killed me? I would be willi-”

“No. Your death would break the curse, and cause all of the others to die.” “So I am stuck here until I either die, or things are sorted?”

“I am so sorry Thomas, but no. You're no longer mortal. You can be killed, but you cannot die of natural causes. I had to intervene to prevent, well, I won't go into too many details about that, but it had to be done.” Tom seemed absolutely gutted and slouched against the wall.

“Can you at least explain it a bit?”

“Well, the first three times I tried to get near you I fell victim to the curse. Once I went into a rage and slipped into another form and brought you to the brink of death. The only way to bring you back and save all of us was to do this.”

“All of us?”

“If you fall, all of Midgard falls. They ran news stories. The effects took longer, but inevitably people began to fall victim. Not everyone has, but enough to make the world a desolate place at the moment. All these people have been ushered into warehouses by the unaffected. They need not eat nor sleep, nor anything else. Your existence keeps us all alive, Thomas.”