#and like….i wonder why that didn’t come into play anywhere. but again a lot of disjointed thoughts there that r for another time

[starkwlkr]

the sound of my voice will haunt you | mark webber

part 1 part 2

Grace sat in a chair watching you and Mark talk. She was so bored that she started to imagine herself as you. She found a head set and slipped them over her ears. While she played pretend, you were facing reality talking with Mark.

“Does she know about me?” Mark asked.

“She only knows your name. I never talked to her about you. Why would I? You threw it all away so easily, Mark. You broke my heart.” You snapped at him. You had to calm yourself since your daughter was just a few feet away.

“I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness and the amount of times I say I’m sorry isn’t going to fix it.”

“If this is you telling me you want to be in Grace’s life, you have no right.”

Mark knew that. It absolutely broke him that he had a daughter and he couldn’t be with her, but he had fucked it all up. He looked over at the young girl and saw how she played with the head set. She was a miniature version of you.

“I know and I won’t ask for forgiveness of any kind, not from you or Grace. You’ve done an amazing job raising her.” He continued. “Maybe one day you could tell her about me? If not, i understand.”

“As if you told anyone about me in your book. Mark, I did everything for you. I got in trouble for driving you to races, my parents almost took away my keys! I worked day and night in a shitty restaurant, I almost missed my own graduation because of you! A little note would’ve been nice, but it’s as if I never existed in your world. It hurt me.” You held back tears. Suddenly you’re a teenager again hearing all the loud yelling coming from your parents for driving Mark to his races.

“I didn’t think you wanted me to mention you at all. . . ” He said quietly.

“You’re my past now, I would love to stay away from the past. So when you do attend any of the upcoming races and Grace is here, don’t talk to her. It would be better if she didn’t know about you. Please.” You stated.

My own daughter won’t know about me

Mark understood. It would be better after all.

“Okay.” Was all he managed to say. He nodded and lanced one last time at Grace. “Goodbye.”

Before he could leave, Grace looked at him. She wondered why he looked sad. “Why are you sad? Is your favorite team not winning?” She asked Mark.

“Grace. . . It’s time to go.” You hoped Mark wouldn’t start a conversation, but he did. Of course he was making it harder for you.

“Actually, I used to drive for the team that’s winning and I was okay for a number two driver.” Mark crouched down to talk to Grace.

“Did you win lots of races?” She asked.

Mark let out a chuckle. “I won nine races.”

Grace gasped. “My dad won nine races too!”

At that moment, you wished you were anywhere else. Why couldn’t Mark just leave? Why did Grace have to be nice to everyone and be so curious? And why did you tell Grace that her dad was a driver?

“Your dad? He drives?” Mark questioned.

Grace nodded. “Well I think he doesn’t anymore. Mom said my dad was a driver and that he won nine races, but that’s all I know. I had to make a school project about my family and I asked mom about my dad. Do you know my dad?”

Before Mark could reply, you stepped in. “Sweetheart, it’s time for him to leave. Come on, we’ll get ice cream on the way back.”

“Bye!” Grace waved to the unknown man as you grabbed her hand and walked away from Mark.

He felt a little okay knowing his daughter knew something about him. Maybe one day you would change your mind and let Grace know the truth.

MIAMI 2024

Mark wouldn’t see you or Grace until the Miami Grand Prix. He honestly didn’t feel like even going, but Oscar insisted. At least he wasn’t going to be alone, Jenson was also going, but the British man would be conducting interviews. He kept busy looking at his phone until found him in the Mclaren hospitality. He wasn’t sure why you were even looking for him in the first place.

“Can you look after Grace? My friend couldn’t make it and she was the only person I trust to look after her. I wouldn’t ask if I had another option.” You sighed.

“Yeah, I’ll take care of her.” Mark nodded, putting his phone away. “Where is she?”

“She’s with Oscar in his driver’s room. Just please don’t mention the obvious.” You demanded.

“I won’t, but can I ask one thing?” He stared at your eyes that he still loved after many years. “Why did you tell Grace that her dad won nine races and that he was a driver? You could’ve lied.”

You didn’t want to lie to your daughter, you just couldn’t so you told her part of the truth. Technically, you didn’t think she would even meet Mark ever.

“I can’t lie to her. She knows when I’m lying anyways.” You said.

“What’s her favorite color?” Mark suddenly asked. “I want to know at least some stuff about her so I can talk to her. What if she gets bored halfway through the race?”

You hesitated even telling Mark, but you did anyway. “Her favorite color changes everyday, but today it’s purple. She loved coloring with chalk, she wants to have a puppy and name it Goose like the character from Top Gun, her favorite book series is Junie B. Jones and she tells everyone that she’s tall for her age.” You listed several things.

Mark smiled as he listened to you. “Top Gun? We watched Top Gun on our first date, you know?”

“You’re so annoying.”

You and Mark walk back to the Mclaren garage, which obviously made several people confused. Were you back together? No, you couldn’t be . . . right? By the time the race was close to starting, photos of you and Mark were everywhere. Even Sebastian had texted Jenson wondering about you and Mark.

Grace was sitting next to Mark when the race began. She occasionally glanced at him then grabbed his paddock pass and read his name.

“You’re here with Oscar?” She asked.

Mark nodded. “I’m his manager.”

“So you’re like his dad when his dad is not here?”

“That’s one way to put it.” He chuckled. “Your mum told me you like want a puppy.”

Grace’s eye lit up with joy. “Yes! The puppy is going to be named Goose and they’re going to sleep in my bed.”

Mark hardly payed attention to the race. He kept asking questions in hopes that he could learn more about her. Once in a while, you would look back only to see Mark and Grace laughing.

“One time, my mom almost lost her necklace because she was dancing too hard to her favorite song. It fell and we looked everywhere for it but we couldn’t see it because it was a small letter. But I found it!” Grace said which made Mark question if it was the same necklace that he had given you years ago.

“What letter was it?”

“I think it was M?”

The ‘M’ necklace was a gift from Mark on your first anniversary. It was old, but you couldn’t bring yourself to get rid of it. If anyone asked what the M stood for, you lied saying it was your middle name or for someone in your family.

“Does your mum always wear it?” Mark asked.

“Not anymore. But I think it’s pretty.” Grace replied. “Your name starts with M!”

All Mark did was nod.

The race had finished and soon you were back to your daughter. She had told you how Mark has dogs and invited her to meet them.

“Grace, can you go sit over there for a little while? I need to talk to Mark.” You pointed to the seat that she was sitting during the race. She obeyed and now it was just you and Mark. “Thank you. I really hope she wasn’t too much to handle.”

Mark shook his head. “She’s very talkative when it comes to her favorite things. She’s a great kid.” He debated whether to tell you about the necklace story that Grace had told him. Finally, he decided he would keep that to himself.

“I wanted you to hear this from me instead of the media. I’m leaving the team after this season.” You said only loud enough for him to hear.

“But you’ll be back, right? I mean the team is doing well, Lando just won his first ever race, obviously it could’ve been better for Oscar, but you are the heart and soul of this team.” Mark could see a frown forming on your face.

“I love this team, but it’s time for me to be a mom. Grace needs me, Mark. I already told Zak and it’s final. They’ll announce my departure soon. Thanks again for looking after Grace, this is the last time you’ll see her.”

He was glad that he could at least spend some time with Grace. She was a joy to be around. Their time together was something Mark would cherish forever.

For the rest of the 2024 season, Mark stopped calling you the Mclaren team principal and, instead, used your name. He praised you, gave you the credit you deserved and defended you any time. Mark had even made a statement about the person who had leaked the information about you and him when he talked with Fernando. It was rumored that a photographer had leaked it. He knew nothing was going to change, but he needed to correct his wrongs. It all started with an instagram post about you.

INSTAGRAM

(this is just for fanfic purposes, you can use any faceclaim)

liked by oscarpiastri, f1 and 837,377 others

aussiegrit everyone i meet will have to know you, to understand me. anyone that truly knows me, knows your name.

comments are limited

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[probablyintensemuses]

Someone To Stay:

Armando Aretas

🎧- Someone To Stay: Vancouver Sleep Clinic

pairings: Armando Aretas x Black reader

themes: angst, slight fluff, lots of violence

warnings: (18+) attempted sexual assault, gore and blood, violence and cursing, mentions of sexual assault and violence.

authors note: Inspired by that one scene from the last of us between Eli, David, and Joel. Ifykyk

Two rules of being on a mission: never have any secrets, and never go anywhere alone.

You’re not even ten minutes into this bust with your team, AMMO, and you’ve already broken both.

For good reason, though.

A fact: The man you were hunting ran a dangerous fentanyl cartel that’s been running deep within Miami and needed to be stopped.

An unknown: this man killed your parents and assaulted you all in the same night fifteen years ago. And ever since then, he’s been sending you letters on your birthday hoping, that one day, you’ll scream for him to stop again.

So as crept up the stares of his Miami mansion, away from your team, you had different plans on how his wishes would play out.

It would end in him screaming for you to stop.

Kicking in the door of the master bedroom, you hold your gun steady, doing a keep sweep of the entry way, then the bathroom.

Nothing.

You holster your gun and walk back towards the entrance of the bedroom. You’re just about to leave when something on the nightstand catches your attention.

A photo.

A happy fucking family photo of the man who ruined your life, his wife, and two girls.

You wondered if he thought about that fact that your parents had two girls just like that when he was on top of you, taking every ounce of you.

Angered, you turn and slam the picture against the floor. Shards shatter and spray, something like your heart did all those nights ago.

“What was that?” Armando says over the coms.

You’re just about to respond when a creak on the floor catches your attention.

You whip around and come face to face with the devil who ruined you.

“Well that wasn’t very nice of you.” He says, smirking.

Armando calls your name over the coms, followed by Kelly, Dorn, and Mike.

You don’t answer. Instead you switch off your coms and cameras.

You don’t need them to hear or see what you have planned.

“I’m not nice.’ You unholster your gun. “Not anymore.”

“I can see that,’ he says, circling you like a predator. Good thing you weren’t his prey, not anymore. “God, you grew up, didn’t you? So beautiful.” He licks his lips.

“Shut the fuck up!” You shout, hands shaky and full of sweat as memories from that night flood you. The smell of him like burning whiskey, his sick laugh as he crushed your innocence in one push, the weight of him on top of you.

You shake your head, clearing your conscious as best as you can, zoning in on him.

He fucking does here.

“So you became a cop to what? Avenge your parents?”

“Yeah, actually.’ You step up. “And so when I put a bullet between your eyes no one will think twice about it.”

“Is that so?” He says backing into his dresser, hand behind his back.

“Fuck yeah.” You growl.

“That’s really unfortunate,’ he says, circling you again.

“And why’s that?” You frown.

“Because you’d need to be alive to do that, right?” He lunges at you, brandishing a knife before cutting your wrist.

You screech, dropping your gun and holding your bleeding wrists.

He stalks over to you, dropping to his knees, enclosing you in his grip with your hands above your head.

You kick and scream, hoping your team would find you before this sick animal devoured you whole.

“You see, I never thought you’d have the balls to come see me again.’ He laughs, the same burning whiskey blowing on your face as he speaks. “But I’m glad you did.’ He grinds his hard on against your thigh. “Real glad.”

“No!” You scream, kicking against him. It’s no use though, he’s much stronger and bigger than you.

Your heart slammed against your chest and felt like you couldn’t breathe. You felt like it was that night all over again.

This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. You wouldn’t be that scared girl anymore, at least not in front of him.

Your head turns and you look up. Not to far from where he has you pinned you see the knife he used on you.

You close your eyes and take a deep breath.

This was for your parents.

For your family.

For your innocence.

You watch as he unbuttons his pants, starting to pull them off.

“I really am getting my wish, aren’t I.” He says, letting one of your hands free so that he can unbutton his pants.

You reach for the knife, grab it and squeeze the handle tight.

He pulls out his member and your eyes go wild with adrenaline. “You’re going to scream sto—,”

Blood drizzles down the handle of the blade and onto the floor and he gurgles.

You stand, chest heaving, and snatch it out of his neck.

You impale him again in the chest, knocking him over.

On top, you lift the knife up high before driving it down into his heart.

Blood splatters onto your face and mouth.

Your blood curling screams mixed with the squelch of blood and organs reverberating off the walls as you continue to stab.

In and out.

In and out.

In and out.

In and out.

You don’t stop until a strong arm wraps around your torso, pulling you away from his body.

“Stop, get off of me!” You scream, punching at them.

“Para! Para!” The voice shouts. “It’s just me.”

It takes you a minute to focus on the face in front of you, but once it’s clear you realize it’s Armando.

Suddenly your arms become heavy and you drop the knife, wrapping your arms tight around his neck.

“Shh,’ he says, caressing your blood soaked hair. “I’m here now.”

You whimper, letting the pain of fifteen years out as you into his shoulders

He pulls you back and cups your cheeks. “What happened here?”

You turn, your eyes guiding Armando to the horror of what happened.

You break down again, and Armando pulls you into his arms. Holding you.

“Está bien, Está bien.” He says. “I’m here now, babygirl. I’m here now.”

Words feel far away, so you say nothing. You just cling to Armando, letting him lift and carry you away from this house of horrors.

His arms are the only place you felt safe, and you were glad they were around you right now.

[lemoncrushh]

Her Album

Summary: Harry has finished recording his album, and he wants her to hear it.

Warnings: Angst, lots of feelings

Word Count: 2.9k+

A/N: A short one-shot written in 2019 in first person from Harry's POV. While this is not necessarily a reader fic, the woman's name is never mentioned. This was written before Fine Line was out, so it's pretty wild to think about it now.

The album was done. I’d made a visit to the studio to hear the final mix and then had lunch with Jeffrey and Glenne. As I drove home, I listened to the songs again in the car, deciding not to stop at my house when I got there, but instead to keep going so I could give one last listen straight through.

I’m not sure how I ended up on her street. It used to be automatic, like taking my shoes off before my trousers, or putting the cap back on the toothpaste. I’d driven down her block so many times before, I probably knew it better than my own neighbourhood.

I sat in the car for a long time, staring up at her window. I wasn’t even sure if she was home. I couldn’t tell if a light was on, but it was the middle of the day and that window was her bedroom, so she could’ve been anywhere else inside. I let the album loop around to the first track again, the opening chords hitting me in the chest just like the first time I’d heard them.

I wanted her to hear them too. I wanted her to listen to the melodies and have them bring back the memories that had inspired me to write them. I wanted her to listen to my lyrics and know they were all about her, even the ones that weren’t as obvious. Songs about love and loss. Songs about sex and lust and forbidden fruit. Songs that sounded like they were about something completely different, hidden behind loose meanings and innuendos.

But they were all about her.

I scrolled through my phone and opened the contacts to her name. We hadn’t spoken in weeks, maybe even months. I’d lost count. Being in the studio had helped to heal my broken heart, and my pride, but it certainly hadn’t erased her memory. She was with me every single day, every moment that I worked on a song.

I almost tapped on her name, my thumb grazing over it. But I stopped myself, turning off my phone, and then my engine. Climbing out of the car, I walked around it to the pavement in front of her building, once again looking up at her window. For a second I considered being like John Cusack in Say Anything, holding up an 80s boom box and serenading her with my music so she’d notice. But I reckoned that was borderline stalking, not to mention disturbing the neighbours, so I made my way to the stairs and climbed them to the second floor.

I stopped in front of her door, staring at it for a good two to three minutes before I even lifted my hand. I took several breaths, wondering if I was making a mistake. She probably didn’t wanna see me, let alone talk to me. She didn’t give a shit about my album. She had moved on.

But I was there. I felt like something had brought me there for a reason, and that reason was to play her my music. Let her know exactly how I felt about her - how she drove me crazy and how she’d hurt me and how I’d hurt her. How in love with her I’d been. How I still…

Finally, I knocked, a little too softly at first, but I didn’t want to startle her. At least that’s what I told myself. When no one responded, however, I knocked again, much louder and with determination.

“Jesus, I’m coming!” I heard her yell from inside. “Hold your-”

She stood before me with a half-eaten apple in her hand, her mouth open and her eyes wide. She wore a t-shirt and shorts, her hair pulled back in a loose bun and no makeup. She looked beautiful.

“Hey,” I said, my voice not quite cooperating so I sounded like a frog.

“Harry.” She said my name in almost a question, though she knew it was me. She just wondered why it was me.

When she didn’t say anything else, I shifted my eyes up and down the hall and shrugged.

“Can I come in?”

I admit, I expected her to nod and step back to let me inside her apartment. But when she shook her head, my face fell.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” she remarked.

“Um...why not?”

“Because…” she began, her tone hard as steel, “I just got over you.”

“Over me?” I gulped.

“Yeah. It’s taken me a while, but I finally am,” she explained, placing the apple on the table by the door. Then wiping her hands on her shorts, she leaned against the door frame. “You haven’t shown your face here in nearly three months. I can’t just let you waltz on in here and undo everything.”

“‘m not…” I stumbled, “‘m not undoing anything.”

“Then why are you here?”

Her gorgeous but stern eyes glared at me, piercing through my heart. I looked down at my feet, thinking I’d made a mistake by coming. She didn’t want any more to do with me. I’d waited too long and missed the window. Maybe there hadn’t even been one.

Lifting my head, I looked at her beautiful face again. It was then that I recognized the shirt she was wearing - my old AC/DC t-shirt.

“Looks like you’re not completely over me,” I pointed. I dunno why I said it. It was petty and juvenile.

“What?” she huffed, crossing her arms.

“You’re wearing my shirt.”

She looked down at the emblem on her chest, seemingly just realizing what she had on. With a sigh, she dropped her arms.

“I just like it,” she said, her head held high. “And you basically gave it to me anyway.”

“No, I didn’t.” Shut up, H, you’re making it worse, I thought to myself.

“Well, you left it here. And I ended up sleeping in it. And you never came back, so…” She crossed her arms again in defense.

She was right. The last time I’d been in her apartment, we’d had a massive fight, and I’d told her it was over and stormed out. She’d tried calling and texting me for a couple days, but I’d ignored her, stubborn with pride. When I’d finally agreed to talk to her again, I was only being a right twat, unable to see or accept her side. So, we only ended up fighting again until she said she needed some space.

“I was giving you your space,” I muttered, knowing damn well I sounded like a wanker.

“For six weeks?” she snorted and shook her head. “You have some nerve, Harry.”

“I’m sorry,” I said.

“What was that?” she stepped closer to me, her brows furrowed. “Did you really just say you’re sorry?”

“Yeah. I am.”

“Sorry for what? For breaking my heart? For being a dickhead? For not calling or texting or even saying one word to me for freaking ever? For telling me it was over in the first place? Or for showing up here now when I’m finally over you?”

I blinked. “All of it,” I admitted.

Her lips twitched, and for a second I thought she was going to smile.

“Fuck you, Harry!” she exclaimed.

Stepping back, she grabbed the door, ready to slam it. But I brought my hand up and stopped it.

“I want you to listen to it,” I said, remembering why I’d come.

“Why should I listen to you?” she asked, her voice cracking.

“Not to me. To the album. It’s finished, and I want you to hear it.”

She crossed her arms over her chest. “You can’t be serious. You came here so I’d listen to your new music? You really are a douchebag.”

“No, you don’t understand, I-“

“You’re right, I don’t,” she interrupted. “But seems to me you had weeks to explain yourself, Harry. I’m done crying over you.”

She was about to shut the door again when I called out, “I’ve been crying over you, too!”

She stood still, her hand on the door that was opened only a crack. Leaning her forehead against it, I could tell she was holding back tears. I didn’t want her to cry now, at least not over this.

“Liar,” she croaked.

“It’s not a lie, ba-” I almost called her baby, but I knew she wouldn’t like that. Not yet. “Please. Let me in. You don’t even have to talk. Just listen to the album.”

I stood silent for a moment, watching her eyelashes flutter against her pink cheeks. Finally, she let out a sigh and stepped back, opening the door to allow me to step inside.

“Thanks,” I muttered low as she closed the door behind me.

She didn’t reply. In fact, she didn’t even look at me as she grabbed her half eaten apple and went into the kitchen. I stood in the middle of the living room, waiting for her return.

“Okay,” she gestured toward me as she plopped onto the couch. “Go ahead.”

Spotting her laptop on the coffee table, I pointed. “Do you mind?”

She merely nodded and I sat down next to her and opened it. Then sliding my hand into my pocket, I pulled out the USB drive and plugged it in, bringing up the files I’d saved in the studio. With a click of the mouse, the first track began to play, those familiar chords ringing once again. I sat back and watched her, waiting for some kind of reaction on her face.

But none came.

Not when the first track ended, nor when the second song started, the first lyric blatantly about her. I started to get restless, rubbing my palms on my knees and bouncing my leg. I ran my fingers through my hair, a habit she used to tell me was endearing, only now she didn’t give any indication that she even noticed.

Finally, during the third song, I saw her make the slightest move, leaning against the arm of the sofa and resting her head in her hand. We made eye contact for a second before she quickly looked away, her eyes hazy. I wondered what she was thinking. I wanted so badly to ask, to pry it out of her, but I’d promised she needn’t talk.

We were halfway through the album when I caught more movement out of the corner of my eye. I’d been sat with my head down, unable to look at her during track seven, the most intimate and personal song I’d written. My gaze lifted to her, and I noticed her shoulders were shaking. Her head was still in her hand, her cheeks now wet with tears.

I wanted to reach out, to hold her in my arms. God, I wanted that so bad. But I let her be. I knew she needed to cry without me giving false promises that everything was okay. None of this was okay.

I’d cried when I’d written that song. I’d broken down in the recording booth when I’d sung the chorus for the first time. I only just realized as I watched her body shake with sobs that I’d been an idiot for not telling her how I’d felt. But maybe...just maybe she could finally hear me through my songs.

By the time that track ended, I was in tears too. I wiped my cheeks with the back of my hand, sniffling as I tried to compose myself. I sat back on the couch again, my head leant back. I shut my eyes and listened to the next song, one a little more uptempo. I tapped my fingertips on the cushion at my sides, humming softly. This song was about happy memories, when we’d laid on the beach or beside my pool last summer. When we’d been so in love and hadn’t a care in the world. Before all the fighting and jealousy and…

I almost didn’t feel it at first, her hand brushing mine. It was such a light touch, I thought perhaps I was imagining it, lost in the song. But my eyelids fluttered open when I felt it again. I stared at my right hand on the cushion, her slim fingers over mine. She used to like to do that, when we’d be sat together watching a movie, or lying in bed reading. She’d trace my hand and knuckles with her fingertips, her delicate hand dancing over mine before I’d smile and thread our fingers together. It was an unspoken gesture of affection we’d had. I missed it.

God, I missed her.

I raised my head to look at her. I half expected her to be looking at me too, but she was focused on our hands. Her expression wasn’t one I’d hoped either. She looked sad, her cheeks still tear-stained. I wanted to kiss them, make it all better.

I opened my mouth to say her name, but nothing came out. I cleared my throat and she looked at me. I turned my hand over then like I used to, wanting to thread our fingers together. But she pulled away, her jaw set.

“Why’d you do that?” I asked, my voice a deep rasp.

They were the first words either of us had spoken since the music started, and I instantly regretted it, knowing I’d meant to stay silent until the end. We were on track nine now, a couple more songs to go. I still wanted her to hear all of it. I wanted her to know I still felt the same, even though I wasn’t completely over the anger, over the heartbreak. But I’d spilled my guts out in my songs. I was shit at communication, I knew that. I hoped that she could understand it all in my music.

“I...I don’t know,” she whispered.

She crossed her legs then, sat in the corner of the couch. She reached behind her head and pulled at her bun, letting her hair fall freely down her shoulders. She seemed comfortable, at least less resistant than she had when I’d knocked on her door. I could tell she wanted to talk, but she kept her mouth shut because I’d told her she could. I also felt like she was really listening though. And that was really all I wanted.

“That was a really good song,” she surprised me after track ten. But she didn’t say anything more.

Clearing my throat again, I sucked in my lips when the final song started. If track seven had been the most personal, this was the companion to it. This was me giving my heart, me asking forgiveness and giving it back. This was me wanting another chance to prove how I felt about her. I’d known as I was writing and recording it that the possibility of that happening was slim to none. But I had to take a chance. I was tired of keeping it bottled up, being a stubborn prat because I’d wanted my way and had to be right. I was all kinds of wrong. I knew I wasn’t fully to blame for our break-up, but I was taking responsibility and owning up to my part in it. I hoped she could hear that in my voice.

By the time the song was over, my head was in my hands. I perched on the edge of the sofa shaking. I’d already listened to it a handful of times in the studio and in my car, but it hadn’t had the effect it had now, sat in her living room with her beside me. I was sobbing like a baby.

“Harry…” I heard her whisper.

When I lifted my head this time, she was right beside me, her face so close it startled me. Her hands were in her lap, and she wrung them like she was either nervous or was trying to keep herself from touching me.

“I’m so sorry,” I cried. “For everything.”

“I know,” she nodded. “I heard.”

“Will you forgive me?” I asked, turning to face her. I wanted to lift my hand to touch her face but thought better of it. Instead, I hesitantly reached for her hand. I was pleasantly surprised when she let me take it.

“Only if you forgive me, too,” she said.

I let out a deep breath and leant forward. I wanted to kiss her but wasn’t sure if she was ready yet. Lifting my hand this time, I grazed her cheek and wiped a tear away with my thumb.

“I still love you,” I admitted. “I never stopped. I’m just so sorry I waited this long.”

She bit her perfect bottom lip, her big eyes blinking fast.

“I thought I was over you,” she said. “I thought you were over me.”

“Guess we were both wrong.”

She leant into me then, and I took it as my cue. I took her into my arms and kissed her, like I’d wanted to kiss her for months. She felt so good against me, and I quickly found myself shedding more tears.

“We still have a lot to talk about,” she whispered when I released her lips.

“I know,” I agreed. “I promise I’m not walking out this time.”

“Good,” she nodded before kissing me again.

We ended up listening to the album again together while we prepared and ate dinner. There were more tears, but also lots of conversation. We had a long way to go, but I was hopeful.

Something had made me drive down her street. I guess it was me.

If you enjoyed, please like, comment, reblog or send me a msg!

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[sepublic]

The Owl House Pilot Leak!!!

            Oh my titan.

            The Owl House’s original pilot episode (basically a bunch of voiced-over storyboards) just got leaked and OMT. Watching it felt like experiencing the original magic of the show all over again… Reminding me what it was like to fall in love the first time!!! The hype and rush, the excitement to type down my thoughts after a new episode, analyzing and gushing over both big and small moments, the details!!! The pilot has reiterated all over to me again why I love these characters, from Luz's powerful earnestness, to Eda's chaotic demeanor! It’s like having the whole show open ahead of me, the possibilities endless when knowing this is just the beginning and we could go anywhere from here!

            What’s interesting is that Luz’s conflict with Camila doesn’t really exist here; In fact Camila isn’t present or mentioned at all! What brings Luz to the isles is Amity, who’s been learning in the human world, under the guise of being a human by disguising her ears! It’s alluded to that Odalia and Alador made her do it, though we don’t know why…

            But WOW that must’ve been so meta, doing S3 with Amity stuck in the human world with Luz, hiding her ears! It must’ve been a fun way to bring back the older concepts in new form! And indeed, we see a couple of stuff we’ve already gotten glimpses of, such as the storyboards of Luz offering her friendship art to Amity! I love that we get to see the actual scenario of how Amity accidentally defended Luz in the first place, since we heard that but didn’t get to see how it turned out.

            It’s interesting that Lumity is basically the inciting incident of the story, though I can see why the final version opted instead to emphasize Luz’s conflict with her mother. Especially with how she chooses to stay in the isles in the final draft, which leads to guilt over lying to her mom, having her ‘coming out’ moment that eventually occurs in Yesterday’s Lie, etc. So more agency when it comes to Luz losing her access to the human world. Plus in the pilot, there isn't the same emphasis on Luz trying to live out her dreams of being a witch, and her obsession with stories that ties back to Manny and forms the basis for a lot of other themes and arcs.

            That said, I also appreciate what this alternate take offers, and how Lumity helps tie everything together, it really is the queerness that is such a foundational part of the ‘weirdness’ theme that the show is about, and it’s intertwined with the pilot! God Luz being heartbroken when Amity dismisses the drawing… And then crying when Eda compliments it without realizing who it’s about! Or maybe she did, she could’ve recognized Luz there and figured out a way to stealthily make Luz feel better…!

            I love Luz routinely lock-picking her locker because she presumably forgot the combination! And it’s interesting that we have a setup of there being multiple dimensions that the Boiling Isles has access to, and not just the human world and Demon Realm. That plays a role in the climax, more on that later. Given we have what is basically an airport for different dimensions, I wonder if we would’ve seen Luz find her way back home much earlier on, under much less intense circumstances, in a S1A episode?

            The ‘Emperor’ is also alluded to in the pilot, which we didn’t get actual mention of until the fifth episode in the final show. He apparently dislikes humans and wants Luz brought over to him, is this still operating off of the ‘Pupa’ version of the character who claimed to speak on behalf of the true ruler, trapped in their metamorphosis by him? So maybe he wasn’t always human, or maybe this is Belos’ hypocritical way of ‘protecting’ humans by keeping them away and in blissful ignorance of the demon realm.

            We also establish Hexside much earlier! IIRC Hexside was always part of the show, but executives pushed for it to have more emphasis, which the crew continued to follow through on in S2 onwards because that had already been set up. Lilith is the principal, and I recognize the storyboards of her, including her bat transformation! We get a Tinella Nosa cameo, we see Amity, and there’s also a brief cameo of Willow too! Nice way to set her up before her proper debut.

            The ‘barrier’ containing King’s crown turns out to just be a regular human locker, which makes me wonder if the writers updated the final draft to make it a force field that only allows humans through, because of the whole Belos twist. Which makes me wonder if in this draft, Belos is Pupa, who never was human, or maybe they realized the opportunity to insert foreshadowing into a big twist regarding the main villain. Makes me wonder if the house we see Amity enter in the pilot, which is on sale, would've had any significance like in the final show. Love how Tinella Nosa is a student at Hexside, and also Dana having to occasionally insert lines for Wendie Malick and others was great.

            Lilith is a lot more openly adversarial, which is different compared to how her actual debut provides a softer side to her; I imagine this would’ve been apparent in a later episode of the ‘Pilot AU’, and her transformation has me curious; Was she originally the one with the curse, but then the writers changed it to Eda? Or did they both have a curse? Eda also has an owl form she can summon and control at Will, maybe all Clawthornes have a beast mode that’s less of a curse and more of a talent. Lilith ends up trapped in another dimension, which makes me wonder if she’d have a temporary replacement –possibly Pilot Bump- or if she’d return offscreen. We see the portal key get destroyed under much more casual circumstances, though it’s less as big of a deal for this and the established ‘dimension port’ we saw before.

            (Also, Amity recognizing Luz in the hallway… Everything to me!!!)

            Warden Wrath doesn’t exist and neither does the Conformatorium, it’s Lilith and Hexside. With her as principal and Amity as student, I wonder if we would’ve gotten more of their relationship in the pilot AU, if Covention was a way of carrying over that former connection since Amity would be a teacher’s pet in either version of the story. And speaking of ties to Covention, it’s interesting is that Eda’s chest gem seems to be linked to the Emperor’s Coven, as ‘Pilot Kikimora’ uses it to control her. Curiously, we have a scene at the end mirroring what we got with Lilith in the final draft of the show!

            I feel it implies that Eda DID join the Emperor’s Coven with Lilith, if only for a brief moment, but then defected; But the chest gem is basically the pilot version of the Emperor’s sigil, except with the explicit function of being a shock collar. I find it interesting that Eda still has the mirror to contact the EC with, instead of just getting rid of the thing. Is she a rogue agent who hasn’t totally cut ties, because she can’t? Won’t?

And the fact that Pilot Kikimora can just shock Eda at will makes me wonder if the Emperor is low-key just letting Eda roam around, which makes me wonder if he’s aware of the familial connection, is using Eda to find Luz, already knows about her doing that because of the time loop, etc. We’d of course have gotten an episode where Luz finds out about Eda’s connection and helps her deal with the gem… I realize now that Luz learning Eda also wanted to join the EC with Lilith is a carryover of this idea.

I can see the ups and downs between both versions; The final draft sets up Luz’s conflict with Camila and the reality camp, which is foundational to her character arc throughout the whole show. Her pain over being ‘sent away’ is just so vital that I appreciate its inclusion in the first episode. But I also like the inclusion of Lumity and the earnest desire to be friends with someone who showed her, unwittingly, any kindness at all! We get explicit bullying from Luz’s peers in the pilot, but in the final draft we also get her thoughtlessness that plays a big part in her S1 arc. And Luz’s arrival in the isles is more intertwined with Eda and King in the final version, which also feels right; The show is about these three in particular!

All in all, this was wonderful to watch! The magic was experienced all over again, not just in watching an episode, but also commentating on one that was just ‘released’ as well? I thought the last time I’d do anything like this was with the series finale Watching and Dreaming… But as Luz said, it really comes full circle with watching the first episode all over again! So maybe we have other stuff to still look forward to after all… At the very least, we have an eternal anticipation with an unexplored universe ahead of us, that will never reach completion; So it's like our ever-lasting final gift from TOH, and a good last one. So until next time: BBBBBYYYYYEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

[weirdsht]

Disillusioned 10 . Nothing More, Nothing Less (3)

a/n: idk which of my blood conditions is acting like a btch but my legs are weak so sitting on a chair is uncomfortable but placing my laptop on my lap is also uncomfortable...

tags: injuries, hiding said injuries, feelings in progress

English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors

Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission

Constructive criticisms and any kind of interaction are more than welcome

Requests are currently closed but my ask are still open (read pinned)

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"_____ remember that I have told you that you must work hard while you're under my care?"

"Of course Cale-sunbae, has the time come for me to earn my keep?"

"I like that attitude of yours. Yes, you must pay for your meals now. It is time to save some poor souls once again."

Cale looked uncharacteristically holy. It made the healer wonder if they were actually going to heal people or scam them.

Against _____’s worries, they were really out to heal people. The soldiers of the Whipper Kingdom specifically.

“Just do it how you used to back in our kingdom, but don’t overdo it. I know you prefer working alone as you were used to that, but remember that Rosalyn and Choi Han are at your disposal”

Was what Cale said as everyone prepared their disguises and potions. _____ didn’t need a disguise as their outside outfit already covered everything that could become an identifier. They just chose a colour that matched everyone else’s robes.

True to Cale’s words Choi Han and Rosalyn were keeping an eye out for _____. The two gave the healer space so they could work comfortably but still glanced at them from time to time despite being busy assisting Cage and Jack.

For good measure, the young master also made _____ carry many healing potions.

“Use this if the patient’s wounds are too severe, if you start to feel tired, or when you have too many wounds. Actually, just use them whenever you please. We have lots of potions at our disposal so just use them all.”

Most of the group’s worries disappeared the moment the healer started working.

None of them has seen _____ in action so this was a new sight for them. Sure there was the time during the plaza incident but their focus was on Cale at the time.

_____ looks like fish in water.

Everyone is suddenly reminded why they were dubbed Roan Kingdom’s Medicus.

They know how to approach each patient. How to console them and make them relax. Even the grouchiest of warriors relax under _____’s care. 

They know the most efficient way to heal every patient. When to use their healing powers. When to use potions and/or bandages instead. When to pass them on to the other healers. What herbs to use and what is the most efficient way of intaking them.

Aside from healing warriors and soldiers, _____ has also taken it upon themself to replenish everyone’s energies. Especially Jack and Cage who are at the vanguard of this operation. At first Rosalyn and Choi Han were against it (Cale too but he was busy playing Saint so he left it to the two). _____ assured them by explaining that their ancient power won’t make them faint nor does it take away their own energy.

Cale took personal offence to that, but anyway.

It’s obvious that they have a lot of experience healing a large number of people with varying severities of wounds.

Rosalyn finds that fact bittersweet.

She’s proud because while Jack might’ve stolen the show with his holy powers, everyone can vouch that _____ is the most efficient. Rosalyn could hear people gossiping about how _____ makes everything look smooth and easy. It didn’t even look like they were breaking a sweat.

On the other hand, Rosalyn is sad because it reminds her of _____’s upbringing. It reminds her that instead of playing outside or studying, _____ was busy healing people at such a young age. Instead of going to sleep after drinking a warm glass of milk or being told bedtime stories, _____ has to sleep while writhing in pain because of all the things their body has absorbed.

It made Rosalyn’s resolve to look after _____ stronger.

Unfortunately, she wasn’t there to just play assistant. She has another mission she must complete with Cale, Choi Han, and Raon.

So whether Rosalyn liked it or not she must leave _____’s side.

Well, the other two disguised priests are with them and know that _____ is weak so everything should be fine right?

Tough. Luck.

The two may have known about _____’s constitution but they didn’t know how the Medicus’ power works. 

“Human you told them to watch over kind _____, but did you tell them to not let them heal severe wounds?”

Shit

Cale didn’t…

An honest mistake on Cale’s end. 

Cale and others like Raon and Rosalyn already know the tell-tale signs of _____ overusing their powers. They were so used to knowing what the slightest twitch in _____’s hands meant that they forgot others didn’t.

Raon had asked when they were in the middle of riling up the empire’s troops so there was nothing Cale could do at the moment except try to move faster.

“Where’s healer-nim?[1]”

Cale’s calm demeanour and voice were betrayed by his eyes. His eyes, that's currently dyed blue, shook slightly. It may have been a small movement but it was enough to tell Cage just how worried the young master is.

“We managed to get a break this afternoon, as soon as we did healer-nim said they were going to rest for a while. We tried to get them to eat but they said they were too tired.”

Jack followed Cage’s report.

“Following what the young master-nim said about limiting information about healer-nim we have only informed Harol about them being weak so they could get a comfortable tent. We didn’t specify anything other than that. Cage-nim also made sure to inform them that they must have your permission to enter that tent.”

The man whose hair is currently dyed white nodded in approval. However, there’s a frown on his face.

"Haaa how could I forget such an important thing..."

Cale accidentally let out his real thoughts.

Ignoring the look on the two ‘priests’ faces, Cale starts walking to where _____’s tent is.

"What kind of injuries were they healing since this morning- no just give me a list of the severe wounds you saw them treating"

"The last person they treated had a big wound on their abdomen. Just before that, they had a patient who was stabbed near the lungs…”

Huuuu

Cale said nothing else but moved faster. The two confused priests silently followed the even more agitated young master.

When they got to the tent Cale and the invisible Raon were the only ones who entered. The white-haired man told the two healers to go back and rest for the meantime.

How could they when they could smell the stench of blood from outside _____’s tent?

Despite the foul stench, there are no signs of blood inside.

That made Cale’s frown deeper because it meant _____ knew this would happen and was prepared in advance.

Then he sees _____ on a chair instead of on the bed like how Cage and Jack left them.

“What is an injured person doing slumped over like that on an uncomfortable chair?”

“Ahaha Cale-sunbae, I- haaa, I heard a commotion outside so I went out for a bit. Don’t worry I went back in as soon as you finished putting out the fire.”

It was the truth. _____ couldn’t help but watch Cale’s magnificent performance that they forgot about their condition for a little bit. 

They also felt a warm and fuzzy feeling in their chest. They didn't quite understand what it was because it was the first time they felt that way. So they chalked it up as feelings of admiration.

Nothing more, nothing less.

But back to the present. 

“Stop speaking, you can barely breathe.”

The healer only laughed weakly before passing out. When they did Cale sighed heavily before poking his head out of the tent.

“Since the two of you are still here help me move healer-nim to the bed. But you really must leave afterwards. We must have healers on standby in case something happens.”

Once everyone but Raon was outside the room Cale started unbuttoning _____’s priest robes.

“Human! What are you doing!? You’re supposed to be making _____ better-”

The panicking dragon who forgot to use telepathy stopped in his tracks when he saw what was underneath those robes.

As Cale suspected there was another layer of clothes and then bandages underneath. Both were soaked in blood.

“Technically you absorb other people’s wounds, right? How come there hasn’t been an issue of you randomly bleeding?”

It was one of those days when Cale and _____ were rolling around on the villa’s marble floors. They were talking about whatever comes to mind.

“My adoptive family was kind enough to always give me a heads up before making me do large projects. It gave me time to prepare.”

“What kind of preparation do you do?”

“I usually wear bandages in advance, if I think there’s going to be a lot of people or at least a lot of heavily wounded ones I wear extra layers of clothing. Aside from that, I have also taken it upon myself to use potions when the person I’m healing has a wound on their face. It would be bad if someone saw me randomly manifesting a wound, especially children, it would scare them…”

For the nth time, Cale sighed as he pushed the memory aside. He can reminisce after treating the healer.

As Cale poured the high-grade potions on _____ Raon started asking why he didn’t just ask Cage or Jack to heal them. It would more be faster and efficient.

Cale ignored the dragon. Because honestly, he has no answer.

He just knows that he feels iffy at the idea of letting someone else heal _____ after they’ve been healing everyone else since yesterday.

He didn’t know why he felt that way so he stayed silent.

Cale only spoke up again to ask Raon to use magic to clean up the traces of blood.

That night, the man decided to stay beside the healer. Rosalyn and Choi Han can cover for him in case something happens.

He's going to stay in this tent until _____ feels better and that’s final.

Cale knows his acting irrational. He knows that _____ is going to be fine. His eyes witness how fast their wounds close. He committed it to memory.

But still.

He feels inclined to stay by their side. At least while the healer was unconscious.

Maybe it was because he personally asked them to join him. Maybe because he feels responsible for their well-being. 

Yeah, it’s just responsibility.

Nothing more, nothing less.

And so Cale dismisses his lingering thoughts. Those thoughts will only hinder him and his plans. He has better things to do than dwell on feelings his unsure of.

Fortunately, the next morning _____ was feeling better. They were back to their usual self as if the copious amount of blood the two witnessed last night was a lie.

“No, I won’t allow you to go out there. Jack and Cage can handle it. You go back and rest.”

Rosalyn is not having it.

And honestly, Cale agrees.

Despite them feeling much better this morning, it’s so obvious to Cale that _____ is still sick. Their face are pale and their hands tremble ever so slightly.

It may not be obvious to other people but it’s clear as day to Cale.

“Rosalyn is right, go back to your tent and rest.”

“I’m fine really. This is actually less than the burden I usually take.”

The three humans sighed at that.

The four argued a bit more. A 3v1 but _____ is holding their ground, and it's making all of them frustrated. Despite their efforts, the healer is insistent on going back to work.

“If I help then we’ll get things done faster. If we get things done faster then the sooner I can rest. If I don’t help then we’ll be here longer and I won’t be able to rest properly because I’ll worry too much.”

That was the argument that let _____ go back to work.

Of course not without Cale saying that his going to order Choi Han to drag them back to bed if he sees anything wrong.

In the end, the matter was dismissed, and _____ went on their merry way to heal more patients.

If Jack and Cage noticed the four, if you include Raon, watching _____’s every move like a hawk then they didn’t mention anything.

Cale still feels tense at the idea of letting the already injured healer work and absorb more wounds. Even after he made sure that _____ would only take care of minor wounds he still feels iffy. 

However, he let it go for the time being.

Because they indeed need the extra set of hands. 

It’s totally not because he thinks _____ looks good when they are happy and basking in that well-deserved praise they receive.

He just agrees that things here should wrap up quickly.

Nothing more, nothing less.

The next day they did everything they needed to do and were on their merry way back home.

When they were away from everyone else _____ couldn't help but listen to Cage's joking comment about Cale.

"Young master-nim, I think you'll make a great Pope in the future."

_____ could see Jack nodding his head as he looked towards Cale with sparkling eyes.

"She is right. Even if you do not have any divine powers, you are a warm person who has the purest of minds, Cale-nim. You definitely have what it takes to be a great Pope that looks after the believers of god. 'Not discriminating on life.' I learned something new again."

At that moment _____ couldn't hold it in and let out a hearty but soft laugh. Their soft laughter played like music in everyone's ears. The four people who have been with the healer these past months had a momentary look of shock on their faces. 

This was the first time the group had seen them smile that big, let alone laugh. Most of the time they would be lucky if they could see a small, almost non-existent smile on their lips.

After a few seconds, the shock turned into confusion as they didn't know why _____ was laughing. 

Well everyone but Cale.

Cale knew the reason for the healer's laughter. He’s pretty sure the healer is laughing at him because being a Pope would get in the way of his slacker life. 

Yes, Cale had also told them about how he is currently working towards a life of forever lounging around and doing nothing. 

Cale just ignored everyone's confused faces and ordered Raon to bring them home. 

Aside from Cale himself, no one missed the soft smile forming on his lips.

[1] reader is famous, that and Toonka don't know their real identity so they avoid saying the reader's name by referring to them as healer

[frvnkcastles]

Hello my lovely writer,

I love your work but wasn't brave enough to write you, until today =) even if I don't know if you're still accepting requests I give it a try, in hope that you like to write a story with your wonderful words. Currently I'm sick as a dog and in need of some care taking Frank...

Frank and her are dating for some time now, but she has problems with trusting him completely because of her last abusive relationship. So she didn't tell him that she is chronical ill and often suffers from pulmonary infections and tachycardia always when she feels under the weather or sick she tells him she is busy so they can't meet. When she's falling deathly sick with a very high fever she tells him to raincheck their date. Frank gets suspicious and tries not to think of her cheating with him. When he doesn't hear from her for days and she doesn't answer his texts and phone calls he's mad and he wants to confront her. What he doesn't know is that she's at home deathly sick and in need of help cause of her high fever. When she doesn't open her door he is raging thinking that she's in bed with another man, but what he finds shatters his heart not as he aspected. He finds her semi conscious on her bathroom floor....

Well some angst, drama, secrets of her past and a protective caretaking Frank nurses her back to health.

Hope that's something you like.

Love, kiss and hugs sends you a fan of your work

Sorry for my English, it's not my first language 🤍

SIRENS IN MY HEAD ➵ F. CASTLE

Summary: Feeling under the weather, you cancel your date with Frank, and when he doesn’t hear from you for a few days, he expects the worst — only to find an equally bad situation: you, unconscious on the bathroom floor.

Warnings: Chronic illness, mentions of an abusive ex, cursing, feminine nicknames

Word count: 2.2k

Author’s note: Omg anon it took me so long to finish this, I apologize!! I took some creative liberties with this one because personally I feel like Frank would assume something bad happened to you instead of cheating, but I hope you still like what I came up with :) I’m sending you lots of love and good vibes!!

In the past couple of months, you and Frank had discovered that you had a lot in common — you both liked dogs, you both tended to put others before yourselves, and you liked the same kind of music playing from his truck radio whenever he took you anywhere. But the most glaring similarity between the two of you lately was that neither of you remembered the first thing about dating. He had never even intended to get back into it, but then you had come and won his heart all to yourself, whereas you had been reserved and wary ever since you had broken up with your aggressive and controlling ex. His habit of putting you down with words as much as his hands had earned you a complete distrust of men — with Frank being, apparently, the exception.

Still, you didn’t completely open up to him. In fact, there was one major thing you had been holding out on, out of the fear that it would be too much for him to take — or worse, he would take advantage of that weakness somehow. So when you started to feel under the weather once more, your chronic tendencies acting up again, you made sure not to tell him why you were canceling your dinner date.

”Yeah, it’s just, I have to be at work all day and it doesn’t really seem like it’s gonna work out today”, you rambled into the phone, hoping Frank wouldn’t call you out on the bullshit excuse, only to be crushed a little more by his disappointed voice.

”Oh, okay, sweetheart. ’M sorry to hear that. Maybe tomorrow, then, huh?” Frank suggested, his gravelly voice full of dismay, and as a wave of nausea rushed over you, you squeezed your eyes shut and drew in a shaky breath.

”Actually, uh, I’m not sure I can make that work. I’m really sorry, but I’ll—I’ll let you know when I’m… more available”, you cleared your throat, embarrassment creeping up your spine and mixing in with the cold sweat breaking on your forehead. ”Again, I’m sorry. I have to go.”

With that, you hung up the phone and threw it next to you on the mattress before groaning and running your hands across your face. You hated this, but you couldn’t bring yourself to telling him the truth. Still, as your fever rose and your heartrate refused to calm down, you wished nothing more than to have Frank by your side, caressing your hair and holding your hand.

It wasn’t the first time you had done this, tried to fool him into thinking you were fine when in reality you were not, but this was the first time Frank was more than just a little bit suspicious. He would have liked to think that enough time had passed between the two of you for you to be honest with him, the same way he was learning to be honest with you — even about things he had always kept to himself.

Still, he let it go. For the first couple of days, anyway. Then all of a sudden, you weren’t answering texts, ranging from casual check-ins to more clear requests for any kind of sign, and when he called you, you didn’t pick up, either. You had gone completely radio silent for the fourth day now, whereas before you would get back to Frank within minutes. He missed checking his phone and seeing a notification from you, and like a goddamn schoolgirl, he missed texting you until ungodly hours in the AM until he’d pass out on his phone from sheer exhaustion.

And Frank, well, he always assumed the worst. The most horrendous scenario imaginable was already forming in his head, and he tried his damnedest to keep his cool, but fuck, if he wasn’t worried. He tried to get his mind off of you by cleaning his guns, but he soon realized it was just to prepare him against whoever had possibly taken you from your home, or maybe even the street. Surely something had happened for you to not even let him know you were okay.

”Goddamn it, sweetheart”, he muttered at his phone where his long list of unanswered text messages stared back at him. He tried to sit still in his silent apartment, but the longer he did, the worse he started to overthink. And before he knew it, he was out the door, headed for your building with his gun in the waistband of his jeans.

Tapping on the wheel, he impatiently swerved from one street to another. He had gotten far too attached to you — in fact, he hadn’t even realized just how deeply until right now, but he couldn’t bear the thought of losing you, not now, not ever. You had become so indescribably important to him, more than he’d even care to admit, but he couldn’t lie to himself. He was ready to go to war for you if that was what the night had in the cards for him.

He was at your front door in almost no time, his knuckles knocking on the door to give you the chance to answer. But when nothing happened, not even a squeak came from indoors, Frank tried the handle — to no avail. ”Fuck”, he cursed under his breath, knowing you’d hand his ass to him for what he was about to do, but he wasn’t going to let a mere door stand in his way.

And so, he shoved through the door with his shoulder, busting in unceremoniously and with a bang. At first glance, the apartment looked untouched, and in any other situation, he would have taken a moment to appreciate just how you it was, from photos to little plushies decorating the place. But now, he was focused on only one thing, and that was finding you. Even though the place seemed normal in every way, he withdrew his gun and kept it hoisted in the air just in case, the barrel leading the way as he searched the apartment room by room.

It was in the bathroom that Frank found what he was looking for, only to be slapped in the face by the horror that quickly washed over him at the sight — you, lying on the floor, sweat beading on your feverish face while you breathed heavily and unevenly.

”Shit”, he uttered out while putting his gun away and kneeling down beside you. ”Sweetheart? Hey, sweet girl, can you hear me? Hey, I need ya to wake up for me, okay?” Frank continued, his anger fading into worry as he lifted your head up and tried to gently shake you into consciousness. When you began moving on your own and your eyes parted open, he sighed in relief, but licked his lips in the realization that you were not in the clear yet.

”Hey, hey, take it easy. You with me, darlin’? Look at me”, he instructed with short and simple statements, his voice gentle but stern, and you found it in yourself to follow his guidance. You leaned into him and looked up at him, struggling to find your words with your dry throat and your dizzy head.

”Didn’t want you to see me like this”, you slurred, and knitting his eyebrows together, Frank tilted his head at you.

Nodding to promise he understood, he cleared his throat. ”Listen, I’mma take you to the hospital, aight? I’ll be with you the whole time, I promise”, he continued, and even though you didn’t have it in you to fight back, you nodded.

With ease, Frank picked you up from the floor, and as quickly but carefully as he could, he rushed downstairs to his truck where he made sure to protect your head and avoid any sudden movements while buckling you in. He maintained a balance between rushing and not risking your life any further, but needless to say, he was relieved no cops pulled him over as he sped through the streets to get to the emergency room.

He was working on autopilot, his instincts guiding him but his mind not quite catching up with what was happening. He was scared, but that part of him was shutting down completely and the diligent soldier in him took charge of the situation until you were lying in a hospital bed, still unconscious but stable according to the doctors.

He didn’t leave your side for one second, even when his eyes started to slip and his body yearned for coffee. The doctors told him he might have to wait all night, but he was willing to — he just wasn’t going to let you wake up all alone, confused and hurt.

It must have been near 4 AM when you finally came to, your groggy movements alerting Frank who was half-asleep in the chair he had dragged to your bedside. But as soon as you seemed to be waking up, he was eyes wide and his hand reaching for yours. You were too out of it to fight him off even if you had wanted to, but when your eyes adjusted to the new setting and you slowly realized where you were, you clung onto him desperately.

”Frank…”, you croaked out, eyes blinking rapidly as you lifted your head just a little bit, and shushing you softly, Frank caressed your cheek with his free hand.

”Hey there, pretty girl. I’m right here. You’re at the hospital, okay? I found you, uh, I found ya unconscious and I got you here”, he started, his rough voice a warm welcome as you got oriented — although as you did, you found yourself hoping you wouldn’t.

As soon as you remembered the couple of days you had had, shame, regret and guilt gushed into your system, poisoning you from within and encouraging you to bury your face in your hands. You groaned, but still blissfully unaware, Frank continued.

”I—I’m not really sure what happened and the doctors don’t wanna tell me anythin’…”, he trailed off, sounding and looking very much like a kicked puppy, and it made you feel so shitty. God, you really liked him, and now it felt like everything you had developed together was moments away from burning to ashes.

”I’m so sorry, Frank. I didn’t want you to get involved in this mess”, you breathed out, pursing your lips together awkwardly in an effort to not cry.

”Hey, you don’t gotta apologize. I… I wanna be involved in whatever you got goin’ on, y’know?” he shrugged before licking his lips and adding, ”and since I’m here now, maybe you could tell me what’s goin’ on?”

He made a damn good argument there. So, you decided to put on your big girl pants and rip off the band-aid.

”I suffer from these… spells, I guess. I deal with chronic illness and when I get sick, I get really sick. I’ve been struggling with it a lot this week, so I cancelled our date”, you explained with a grimace, but Frank didn’t seem shaken by it — worried, sure, but about to make your worst nightmares come true? Not by a long shot.

”Man, that’s… Shit, that sucks. No way ’round it. ’M sorry”, he sympathized, and you nodded quietly to accept his kindness. ”Maybe I’m just a big ole’ idiot but uh, you coulda just told me, yeah?” Frank wondered, and you couldn’t help but chuckle at his innocent attempt to understand. Granted, you weren’t making it easy for him.

”Yeah, that’s where my trust issues come in, I guess. Um, my ex was really… Well, the worst. I kinda learned to expect the worst from everyone, especially men, and I didn’t want to risk telling you because I didn’t know how you’d react. Even now I’m kind of worried about what this means for our future”, you admitted nervously, your fingers fiddling with the thin cover on top of you, and Frank immediately squeezed your hand to reassure you.

”I ain’t gonna do anythin’ you don’t want me to. I’ll try to learn about it and do whatever I can to help ya out, is that okay?” he questioned shyly, and with a quick nod, you smiled at him.

”It’s okay. I would like that. I just don’t want it to be an inconvenience or—or something that gives you too much control over me”, you explained, and tilting his head at you, Frank frowned.

”I don’t wanna control you, sweetheart. ’M sorry your ex was a piece of shit like that. But I promise ya, I ain’t gonna be the same. I’mma do this shit right”, he insisted, still squeezing your hand, and as his words hung in the air, you felt the anxiety slowly fade away. Maybe, this could work out.

”Thank you”, you whispered, and nodding to confirm it was the least he could do, Frank lifted your hand to his mouth and left a gentle kiss on the back of it.

”Next time… you can tell me and maybe I can come over and take care of you, yeah?” he offered, and when you broke into an approving smile, he flashed a grin at you. ”Good, good… ’Cause I gotta be honest, I really like you, girl. And I ain’t plannin’ on messin’ this up”, Frank pointed out, and with a giggle escaping your mouth, you gripped his hand a bit tighter.

”Don’t worry, you’re doing just fine so far.”

[toska-writes]

helloo! i love your writing so much and i wonder would you like to write commander cody with padawan reader, it's after order 66. and as we know in bad batch s2 he's gone to AWOL right? so what if he go to other planets anywhere and meet reader again (let's pretend he already removed his chip lol) imagine how he feels guilt meeting his little padawan after trying to kill her and her master (obi-wan) and how the reader react meeting him again especially looking at her cody sun armor become gray like shadow unlike him.

(sorry if my english kinda messed up, and have a great day!! <3)

Wow, just wow

“Sunshine”

Summary: after order 66 Cody jumps at only the chance to get at least one person from his old life back- no matter the cost

Paring: Cody x GN padawan Reader (it’s platonic!)

Warning: hurt/comfort nightmares ptsd let me know if I missed anything

Word count: 1822

Notes: I’m very proud of this one and I hope you enjoy! It’s also not proofread because I need some sleep

Cody’s head hurt again.

But it wasn’t like last time, he was in control now and always will be.

“How are you feeling Kotes?” Rex came around the tables and laid a hand on Cody’s shoulder.

To be honest Cody wasn’t sure what he was feeling, if anything. Nausea sat in the pit of his stomach but he feared that it wasn’t just from the procedure he went through.

A hand reached up to the side of his head, the fresh bandage felt course under his hand- the all to familiar feeling of before.

“I’m fine.” Cody’s voice was raspy and burned his throat- Rex picked up on this and quickly went to get him a drink of water.

There he sat alone.

He was alone for a while now, but nothing like this. If you went back a few week you would see the small spark of hope illuminating in his eyes.

Cody wasn’t sure of a lot of things since the war ended but maybe it was the illusion of hope that he and Crosshair could escape together.

“Good soldiers follow orders.”

Then Cody went AWOL. Finally it seemed that he got his mind right- the headaches and the dreams that plagued him however said otherwise.

Rex walked back in. Cody’s eyes were clouded in thought as he sat unmoving on the table.

Placing a ginger hand on his knee Rex has never seen is brother in such a state. But the way he felt in this moment- finally getting his free will totally returned to him was something he would never forget.

“Hey Kotes,” Rex helped him to his feet and lend him out into the halls. “We found something you might need to take a look at.”

Cody almost instantly snapped back to attention as the pair of brothers made their way back to the ship they arrived on.

“A few radars picked up on some chatter from the bounty hunters guild.” Rex returned to the Captain Cody knows and loves, things were going back to how they use to be.

“Why would your crew have any interest in the guilds?” Cody questioned, a little slow to connect the dots. “Your fighting an empire here.”

Rex stared at him for a moment, his try at a sarcastic tone clearly flew over Rex’s head.

It was one of the only times Cody has ever seen Rex so unsure about what he was about to say. “We picked up Y/N’s location. The bounty for Jedi are unbelievably high and I’m worried if one of us doesn’t get there in time it might go sour.”

Cody froze in his seat, the end of Rex’s sentence seemed to go blurry. The moment replayed every hour of the day, awake or asleep. He memorized the moment when he watched Obi-wan fall from that terrible hight.

He remembered the look you gave him as he turned to you, your lightsaber coming up in your shaky hands staring at him.

“Cody what’s going on?”

“I- they made it?” Cody looked at Rex, the dark thought that he was playing a terrible joke on him.

Rex only nodded his confirmation. Waiting for Cody to see just want he would do.

You wouldn’t want to see him. Cody didn’t even want to see himself. The terrors he’s created would never wash off no matter how hard he scrubbed.

The armor that surrounded him all his life was striped away, just like everything he has ever known. His sunshine was stripped away as well.

Taking a shaky breath in Cody whispered. “Take me to them.”

•••

Your head hurt again.

It was just like the last time, the moment you realized nobody was on your side anymore.

The purge left you stranded by yourself, unsure of what to do you fled as far as you could.

The outer rim served its purpose for now but the empire was expanding, and the hunters became bolder with their search.

Against your better judgment you tried to reach Ahsoka, Hunter even but it was no use.

Maybe now you were by yourself. Cutoff.

You sat up straight in your makeshift bed. The sheets bawled into your fist as your chest heaved and sweet ran down your back.

You weren’t safe even in your own mind.

You watched him fall. The scream you let out as you lost him over the edge. Everyone around you went off.

Cody. Your Cody turned to you next- all around you heard the all too familiar sound of blasters raising. Cody aimed for you as you brought your weapon up, the thought of hurting any of them never crossed your mind before.

“Cody.” You had tried. “Cody what’s going on?”

The blaster that was shot at you was the moment you woke this time. Other times you weren’t as lucky to be spared with the memory.

The sky was masked with the darkness of the night, your clock told you at you barely sleep 2 hours since you tried to go to sleep.

You gathered yourself as practically dragged yourself to the only window in your “home”

This wasn’t home. Nothing would come close to what the word use to mean to you, but it was soemthing keeping you mildly safe.

The sky above never really changed, it was the only constant you found after the end of the war. The only thing you could depend on that would never harm you.

Your head buzzed again, for a split second you turned to your hidden saber, the weapon you couldn’t pick up since you arrived on this rock. The crystal within buzzed constantly in your ear, begging to be picked up once again.

It use to be a background noise that grounded you, but things have changed.

You stared into the darkness for a moment, the lightsaber wasn’t it. Turning your attention back to the outside world the familiar feeling felt crooked in your chest.

It wasn’t really right, but it was something you recognized none the less.

A cloak that you threw around yourself countless times before made its way to your shoulders- masking you from others and you left closing your door silently behind you.

For a moment you thought maybe, just maybe it was your master heat to tell you everything would be ok, to help you just as he had countless times before.

But you couldn’t think like that, like you use too. Hope burned within you as you followed the force you tried desperately to get rid of.

•••

Cody tried the comm channel he used countless times before, he could practically put it in with his eyes closed.

But of course no answer.

He did try once before- the first night he ran from the empire, alone in the back of a transport ship he tried to reach the Jedi he grew fond of.

It was one of the only instants the commanders eyes watered slightly and his nose ran.

Rex was waiting near by with the ship as he walked the streets of this planet alone. His armor was covered with a poncho Rex lent him and frankly it was the best he could do.

He hoped that you weren’t here, the disgusting streets and inhabitants made him sick. But what if this was better than see him again?

Cody shook that last thought. His hand shook slightly at his side which was a nervous habit he picked up a long time ago.

His eyes scanned the dark scenery for any sign that you might have been here, a sign Cody hoped nobody else could pick up on.

On instinct he turned down an alley to his left, this was definitely not the place to be at this time.

His eyes squinted trying to pin point a figure towards the end. This was the only time he wished for his helmet that didn’t seem his own.

Something ate at the inside of him again. His breath was sparse wondering if his eyes were playing tricks on him. If his mind was no longer his own.

The figure took a few steps from the shadows that engulfed them. The moon illuminated someone that haunted every minute of his life.

You held a blaster out in front of you, but this time you didn’t shake.

Cody didn’t dare take another step. His eyes were firmly planted on the ground as he kneeled down dropping his blaster in front of him.

“Cody?”

He could only nod, afraid that his voice would highlight just how vulnerable he felt in this very moment.

But he had to say something, he couldn’t leave you again.

“I’m- I’m so sorry kid.” His voice broke through his words. This uncertain feeling engulfed him like a flame showing no mercy. “Sorry, I’m sorry.”

You stared at him for a moment. Taking in the sight- clearly things were different. The sunshine was stripped from him. His eyes, though they tried to avoid you, seemed hollow.

You thought of two things in this moment.

You wanted to run, run from someone that could hurt you all over again, someone that you weren’t even sure you could trust.

Or

You could try to hang onto one of the only things that you so desperately needed. You needed someone.

The blaster clanked to the ground as you walked to Cody. Your guard was up but the tears betrayed what you were really hoping for.

You hoped that Cody was himself again.

Cody looked up, your familiar eyes caught his own. The tears that he dried so many times fell across your cheeks, and he only wished to dry them one more time.

“I’m sorry.” He didn’t know what else to say, his mind left him and he could only mutter the only words that went through his head, as if they could make everything better.

You kneeled down with him. For a second Cody thought this might be a dream of his own and this was the moment that he would loose you once again.

But you stayed.

Quickly you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him flushed against you.

Cody wasted no time crushing you into him. You cling to him as he continued to whisper small apologies into your hair.

Through the muffled sniffles you voiced. “I liked your other armor kot’ika.”

For the first time in a while Cody found himself giving an actual laugh.

He nodded as he griped you even tighter as if he was afraid that if he let go you would leave.

“I think I could use some help painting it again.” He spoke a little louder. The emotions still sounded in his voice.

It was your turn to nod into his chest. For the first time in a while You found yourself crying tears of relief that finally someone was here for you again.

This time you weren’t going to let him go again.

_____________________________________

Taglist: @arctrooper69 @thereforepizza @padawancat97

[frozenjokes]

Another Much Needed Follow Up About Love and Aromanticism, Where It’s Time We Cleared Things Up. Oh, And Mumbo Is Here Too.

this fic can be read on its own as a one shot, but I would recommend reading this first, as the context provides a little more insight on why the characters are reacting the way they do to each other

Over the course of a couple weeks very little changed. Mumbo spent the majority of his time planted in one place, anchored somewhat in the shallows so he could lift his head and listen to what the humans were doing on the days they came around. As much as it pained Mumbo to be so still so much of the time, it was a necessary evil if he ever wanted to heal, and he very much did. It didn’t matter how little he moved his tail at this point, anything he did would only result in his condition worsening.

If it wasn’t for Scar, he would have left a while ago. The humans didn’t come every day anymore, but they came often enough, and they certainly noticed Mumbo’s lack of activity. Grian tended towards keeping his distance, which didn’t bother Mumbo at all, but Scar really went out of his way to be there; sitting close (a gesture Mumbo was beginning to mind less), bringing him human trinkets to look at and play with (always exciting), but most importantly Scar brought food, and a lot of it at that; Mumbo wouldn’t have been able to stay without it. He often wondered where Scar got the many bags of fish he brought; it wasn’t all very fresh, so it was probably supplied from a human stockpile, but regardless, Mumbo was grateful. He wasn’t often in the best of moods and didn’t speak very much despite the fact he was sure Scar would have been ecstatic to talk with him, but he hoped regardless that Scar knew how deeply grateful he was.

Today, Scar and Grian were sitting on the shore together, shoulder to shoulder as they bent over one of their human activities. The first time Mumbo saw them drawing together, he had asked to see (saying ‘What’ over and over again seemed to have gained several different meanings over the weeks), but Scar had showed him that the paper they wrote on got ruined in the water, ripping easily, so it wasn’t something Mumbo could learn about personally. That was okay though, he was content to watch.

“Okay,” Scar began tapping the writing utensil (‘pencil’) to his lips, “Do we have anything to revise about the list this week? I don’t think very much new has happened.”

“Read it again, will you?”

“It’s right here in front of your face, do I really have to?”

“We’ve been over this Scar, I’m conditionally illiterate. Like right now, you got me up early and I’m tired and the words are so far away and I don’t want to. Also your handwriting is atrocious.”

“I’m tired too! It’s not my fault my fish guy needed me to show up at 6 AM.”

“You have a car, Scar. And a license.”

“Oh hey! Look at this cool list!” Scar directed Grian’s attention back to the paper, Grian only rolling his eyes before letting Scar continue. “Well, I won’t go into detail on my notes about what he eats because that’ll just bore you, but to put it simply, basically everything that’s got meat on it. Fish, shellfish, red meat, chicken, mostly just fish is what I’ve been giving him though, since I’m assuming that's what makes up most of his diet. Want to make sure he gets all the proper nutrients, you understand, you understand.”

“Uh huh.”

“As for ‘Likes,’ we’ve got fish, human stuff, Scar, Grian-”

“Scar first?” Grian cut his friend off with a raised eyebrow. Scar blinked several times before answering.

“What?”

“Scar, Grian. You put your name before mine.”

“Well this list wasn’t meant to be in order, but if it was, my name would absolutely go before yours.”

“What! No it wouldn’t. He likes us equally. Mumbo and I have a mutual understanding that we do not want to be anywhere near each other most of the time. We respect each other. From a distance.”

Scar smirked, throwing Mumbo an amused look as if he understood anything that was going on. “You know if you wanted to you could also bring him gifts and stuff. Nothing is stopping you. You could even bring him his fish if you wanted to, he wouldn’t know the difference. I wouldn’t care. There’s really nothing to be afraid of, especially now when he’s so docile like this.”

“I’m not afraid of Mumbo.”

“No?”

“If anything, he’s afraid of me, Scar. I got him in that net, I’ve gotten close to killing him a couple times- he knows it, Scar, he knows. He knows what’ll happen if he steps out of line, that’s what. I told him. I told him all about it.”

“Did you now,” Scar chuckled, nudging Grian playfully, “Well in that case, I’m definitely sure he likes me more. And I’m sure you’re perfectly content with being feared, but if you ever change your mind, I’d be happy to help.”

Grian huffed, “I won’t. Continue though.”

Scar lingered for a moment, a gentle fondness etched on his features before turning back to the paper, reading, “Well, he plays around with those vines and roots and things sometimes, he clearly is very curious, he likes to learn, and I think he likes birds, but he might just be staring at them because he wants to eat them. I put bugs in our ‘Neutral’ category since every time I try to give him a bug he just eats it, but I can’t tell if he just eats bugs or if he’s scared of them or something.”

“I highly doubt Mumbo is afraid of bugs. I doubt he cares.”

“Well, you never know! In ‘Dislikes’ we’ve got nets, sleeping bags, being touched, fighting- actually this isn't super related, but I really want to set up a Good and Bad system with him. A thumbs up thumbs down kind of situation. I was thinking about it all last night- we aren’t very good at communicating what we like or don’t like, and this feels like a good solution, but I’m not exactly sure how to tell him clearly what I’m trying to do. How would he know thumbs up means ‘good.’ And vice versa? Maybe bad would be easier to start with, but at the same time he kinda seems like a bite first ask questions later kinda guy.”

“Oh, that’s a good idea. Definitely start with thumbs up. With any luck he’ll understand that thumbs down is the opposite and you can go from there. I think you could probably associate the gesture with things Mumbo likes. The tape measure, fish- he knows smiling is a positive thing even if he doesn’t smile himself, and he knows what ‘yes’ means as well. With enough of that, I think he’ll grasp the meaning pretty quick.”

“I think so too,” Scar paused for a moment, thoughtful, “You know, this doesn’t just have to be a me effort. You could come and speak to him as well. He would know you’re putting in the effort if you wanted him to like you more.”

“He likes me plenty!” Grian switched from relaxed to exasperated on a dime, throwing up his hands as Scar laughed. “He likes me, Scar.”

“I know he likes you. But I also know he doesn’t have the full picture. He doesn’t know how much time you spend brainstorming how to teach him things, or how to relieve his stress, or worrying when he’s not feeling well. I just want him to know you aren’t as distant as he probably thinks, especially if it bothers you. If you wanted to get a little closer and help me with the ‘good’ and ‘bad’ gestures, that’d be a start.”

Grian was silent for a long time, brows creased tight above his eyes. “Maybe,” he said finally, almost quietly, “But not today. I’m too tired.”

“Yeah, me too,” Scar sighed, content, letting his head fall to rest on top of Grian’s, who squeaked, jumping so hard he accidentally jabbed at Scar’s chin with his shoulder. It must not have hurt though, because Scar didn’t seem to mind at all, unmoving. Slowly, Grian untensed, his head falling gently on Scar’s shoulder. Mumbo had a somewhat ridiculous pang of longing despite still holding a strong aversion to any human touch at all. They just looked so relaxed- anyone would wonder what it was like to be human. Though, while Scar closed his eyes, Grian didn’t quite look satisfied, something like conflict sitting across his features. He sat like that for a while, eyes moving, but not quite looking at anything at all, apparent restlessness building. Then he stopped. Closed his eyes. Opened them.

“Scar, are you aromantic or are you just fucking with me? Because I outright refuse to believe anyone is actually this clueless.”

Scar opened his eyes. Silence. “Uh oh.”

“Uh oh???” It was safe to say the two of them did not look relaxed anymore, Grian jerking away, “Scar, what does ‘uh oh’ mean. You can not just say ‘uh oh’ and nothing else.” Mumbo’s fins raised at the tone of his voice, but Mumbo cringed back when Grian whipped around to face him with an aggressive point. “No. You stay. Scar, I need you to say more right now.”

“I-Sleeping, I mean, we weren’t sleeping yet- but resting like- not friends? Not normal? Bdubs- I am going to strangle that man!”

“So you’re aromantic?” The words leapt off Grian’s tongue like an accusation, but he relaxed almost immediately after, sighing into his hands, “You’re aromantic. Okay. Good. Okay.”

“I- I mean I don’t love labels. I don’t really know, I don’t know much of anything at all, really. I’m sorry, Grian, I didn’t- did no one tell you I have a horrible track record for these things? Did you want me to ask you out? I still can.”

“Goodness, Scar, no! You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, you’ve just been sending incredibly mixed signals and I needed to know what was going on with you before my head exploded and my brains went all over the place and poor Mumbo would have to witness that and we don’t want that, do we? We don’t want that. This is fine, though, we just need to work out some boundaries.”

“What if I did want to though? To ask you out?”

Grian stared. Scar stared back.

“You do not want to.”

“I’ll have you know, I like you plenty a lot! I like you all sorts of ways, and if you also like me, then that’s cool! I’ll tell ya, when I had my little politics phase, my campaign manager was this great guy, Bdubs, we’re still friends, too, have you met him? Anyway, he’s a pretty touchy guy as well and he convinced me all sorts of things were totally normal friend stuff. Oh, we had this great cushy chair in our office and it was only really meant for one person, but sometimes we’d both be so tired and just squeeze into it and it wasn’t any sort of comfortable at all, but in a way it kinda was. Like inside. You know?”

“Scar, do you actually want to ask me out or are you just saying that because you think that’s what I wanted.”

“Isn’t that what you wanted?”

“Not what I asked.”

“Well, Grian, it really doesn’t matter to me either way!” Scar gave Grian a big smile, like these words were the ones that would definitively solve their dispute, but the expression started to drop when Grian looked mortified. “Is..” Scar started, unsure now, “Something wrong?”

Mumbo had never seen such a wide range of emotions cross Grian’s face before his head dropped onto his knees with a soft thunk. “No. It’s fine.”

Scar stared for a long while, a gentle churning of thought moving behind his eyes. He relaxed, scooching to give Grian a little space before smiling again, the expression soft. “Can I tell you a story?”

“Sure, Scar.” Grian’s voice was muffled between his knees, and given his face was covered, Mumbo had no idea how he was feeling.

“So there was this one time in high school where I was good friends with this girl, and she was awesome, just the best, and we hung out like constantly, and y’know how people get sometimes all pushy asking about dating and stuff, but you also know high schoolers who can’t communicate if their life was on the line. So all my friends are like dude, you guys are literally dating, aren’t you? And I say no! I insist we’re not every time, I insist! Yes, we went out together often and we talked for hours and her family had some money troubles so a lot of the time I offered to pay, you know, normal stuff, it was normal, I promise, but one day I get this call, right? From one of her friends! And this girl just starts ripping into me, like, seriously! She’s telling me all this stuff I had no idea about- telling me my friend is so confused, that she doesn’t feel pretty around me, that I’m always trying to avoid intimacy- that I refused to kiss her! And I was like what, whoa there! No one has ever tried to kiss me! Why are we talking about kissing people? She thought we were dating, Grian.”

“I got that.”

“And then she dumped me! My first breakup, and I didn’t even know! I was kinda bummed, too, I had always kinda wanted to kiss someone, but I thought they’d tell me first! Y’know, that they wanted to. I would have been so ready! The worst part is I think my guy friends were trying to tell me we were dating, not just teasing me. They also thought it was funny though, so. Who knows.”

“Yeesh.”

“I know, right! And this other time in college there was this other girl- we had mutual friends and stuff and we were at a party and just absolutely wasted and she grabbed me by the collar and she said ‘SCAR,’ she yelled in my face, she said ‘I’ve been FLIRTING with you for WEEKS and YOU’VE been flirting BACK. ARE YOU GAY?’ And I said, drunk, ‘A little bit!’ And then we danced all night. It was awesome. She was so cool. That kinda stuff happened a lot in college, actually. Guys are a bit more direct, which I appreciate. I’m a little stupid, I need the extra help sometimes.”

Grian tensed where he was sitting, quiet for a short pause before speaking, “You’re not stupid, Scar.”

“I mean. A little bit.”

“No. You’re not stupid.”

Scar was silent for a long while, staring despite Grian’s head still being buried in his knees. “I don’t know about that.”

Grian lifted his head, shaking it ‘no.’ He blinked a couple times before shaking his head again, a little more forcefully. “I’m sorry I snapped at you. I shouldn’t have done that, I should’ve just talked to you like an adult and told you how I was feeling. Sometimes you’re just really confusing, and that’s not your fault, you just.. go about the world in a different way. And it’s not a bad way either, it’s not wrong. If people can’t communicate exactly how they’re feeling to you, that’s a them issue. You’re not stupid. I’m sorry I made you feel that way.”

“I didn’t mean to lead you on. I never meant to hurt you.”

“I know, Scar. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“I really thought we had some sort of understanding- and I did mean it when I said we could give this a shot. I like dating, Grian, I always have a lot of fun! I can be- I know I can be- I have trouble sometimes, I just ruin good things-”

“Scar, stop, please. I don’t want anything you don’t want. Period.”

Scar didn’t seem to know what to do with that, staring uselessly at his own hands before looking back up. “I want it, Grian,” he stressed, his arms trembling, but Grian only stared, lips gently parted.

They both looked.. So sad. Mumbo longed to help, to sing, to do something, but he was stuck outside of their world.

Grian extended his arms. “C’mere, buddy.”

Scar collapsed into them, shaking as he did. Grian didn’t move, rubbing slow circles on Scar’s back while he cried. There was a certain focus behind Grian’s eyes, a certain calm as he held his friend close, and Mumbo.. well, it was clear Grian didn’t need Mumbo’s help. So that was the power of human touch.

He’d have to learn it one day.

[bagerfluff]

Love Fights

Set in season one - Scott McCall x Male Reader

Prompt - "I can't believe I did that"

Y/n would not call himself a violent person. He normally stayed in the back and tried to solve conflicts with words rather than fist. But something in him snapped when he saw Jackson bullying Scott. Y/n didn’t really know Scott. They talked a couple of times, but they weren’t friends. But Y/n found the boy cute. With his fluffy brown hair, brown eyes, his slender but muscular build, even his uneven jaw looked cute. Plus, he looked hot playing lacrosse. Y/n cared about the boy, a lot more than normal since he started acting weird.  

He seemed to get magically better at lacrosse, he seemed to have really sensitive hearing, and he no longer needed his asthma inhaler. Y/n wondered the answer to all of these questions but he never had the confidence to ask Scott or his friend Stiles for the answers. So Y/n just watched like the answers would hit him in the face. And thinking about it made Y/n feel like a stalker. But it never happened, but what did was Jackson deciding to bully Scott. Y/n watched from his locker as it happened. 

Scott was alone, Stiles nowhere to be seen. So Scott took the yelling. That didn’t make Y/n mad, but what did was when Jackson decided to punch Scott in the jaw. Y/n didn’t know what came over him but he dropped his bag, slammed his locker shut, walked over to Jackson, and punched him in the face. Y/n didn’t stop there. He then punched Jackson in the gut. Then he kicked his legs out from under him. Got on top of him. Then Punched him. Again and again and again and again. Y/n would have kept going if Scott didn’t pull him off.

Once of the now bloody and bruised Jackson, Scott dragged Y/n to an empty classroom and shut the door. Y/n didn’t really understand what happened until the adrenalin wore off. His breathing slowed as he looked down at his knuckles. They were covered in blood and were bruised. Jackson didn’t manage to land a punch on Y/n so there was no blood anywhere else. Y/n’s eyes widened as he looked at his knuckles. Why did he do that? He was going to get detention. Jackson’s family could sue. 

“I can’t believe I did that” Y/n said so quietly that if it wasn't for Scott’s werewolf hearing, he wouldn’t have heard it. “Me neither” Scott said as he walked closer to Y/n. “Come on” Scott said after a minute “we need to go to the nurse”. But Y/n didn’t move. He had attacked a guy. He could have killed him if Scott didn’t pull him off. Once Scott realized that Y/n wasn’t going to move, he grabbed his hand and dragged him to the nurses office.

This caused a red color to come to Y/n’s face as Scott gestured to him to sit on one of the shitty beds they have in the office. A few minutes later the nurse appeared and told Scott to leave. Though Scott wanted to stay to ask Y/n why he beat up Jackson, Scott decided he could ask when Y/n was done getting patched up. So when Scott left he sat in one of the chairs outside the office. 

Scott wondered why Y/n did what he did while he waited. Did he just feel like beating up Jackson? But that didn’t sound like Y/n. From the few times he talked to him he seemed like a guy that wouldn’t go around punching people. Plus he had heard that Y/n isn’t a violent guy. Maybe Y/n was mad that he punched Scott. It didn’t hurt that much, plus with his super healing the bruise was already gone. But why would Y/n punch someone just because they punched him? Did Y/n care about him? They hadn’t talked many times so they were exactly friends. 

Scott did find the mysterious boy good looking. With his h/l h/c hair, e/c eyes, s/c skin. The way he cared about his friends and what he loved. No one ever made him drop his passions or what he loved. If Y/n loved something he would protect it with his life. So maybe Y/n cared about Scott. Maybe he liked Scott. Scott shook his head. Scott wasn’t even sure if he liked the boy back. Scott wasn’t even sure if he was gay, or bi. Scott sighed. So much is happening that could change his life. The bite, the dead body, and now this. Wasn’t high school bad enough. 

But it was the only explanation that made any sense. Scott was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he didn’t hear Stiles running over to him and sitting next to him. “Scott!” Stiles screamed as he waved a hand in front of Scott’s face. Scott shook his head again and looked at Stiles. “Yay,” Scott said. “You good man” Scott nodded “I heard about what happened”. Scott's eyes widened “you did?” Scott asked, Stiles nodded. Scott looked back at the wall in front of him and continued to think as Stiles looked like he was thinking. “Do you know why Y/n did it?”

Stiles asked. Scott shook his head, not looking at Stiles. Stiles stopped talking, he wanted to think. Plus Scott didn’t look like he wanted to talk. A few minutes later Y/n stepped out of the nurse office with bandages around his knuckles. Y/n was looking at them like they still had blood on them. Scott abruptly stood up and looked at Y/n. Stiles and Y/n were both caught off guard by this. Stiles fell out of the chair he was sitting in while Y/n just snapped his head up to look at Scott. 

Scott looked at Y/n for a few minutes before asking his question. “Why did you do it?” Despite Scott not saying what Y/n did, Y/n seemed to know what he was talking about. Looking back down at his hands Y/n sighed. Y/n knew why he did what he did. He was angry that Jackson hit Scott. The truth was that Y/n wanted to protect Scott. Scott always got bullied but Y/n didn’t do anything about it. Guess he did now.

But Y/n couldn’t tell Scott that. Scott didn’t like men. He didn’t like him. So Y/n lied “I was tired of Jackson beating people up just because he felt like it” he said. But Scott knew he was lying. Even though Scott knew that Y/n would never punch somebody, that isn’t what told Scott that he was lying. It was his heart beat. Scott knew that someone's heart rate went up when lying and that’s what happened to Y/n. Scoot supposed that was a positive to his new werewolf problem. “You're lying,” Scott said, forgetting that he should not imply to random people that he can hear more than the average human “I can hear your heartbeat.”

Y/n’s eyes widened. Was Scott lying or could he actually hear his heartbeat. Scott had to be lying. There was probably another way Scott found out he lied. Y/n’s friends told him that he was a really bad liar. Y/n tried to think of another lie but nothing came out of his mouth. Y/n sighed “I was mad that Jackson hit you.” Y/n said quietly. So quietly that Stiles, who was just watching what was happening, couldn’t hear him. But Scott could.

“Why” Scott asked as he walked closer to Y/n. Y/n took a step back as he avoided eye contact with Scott. Y/n didn’t even try to lie at this point. Y/n was ninety percent sure Scott wouldn’t tease him or tell anyone else that he liked him. “Because I like you” Y/n said but loud enough that Stiles heard him too. Scott was shocked. Y/n liked him. But did he like Y/n back? Scott didn’t want to hurt his feelings. But Scott didn’t even know what his feelings were. After a few minutes of silence. Y/n ran off down the halls of the school. He took that silence as rejection. 

Scott wanted to run after him but the bell rang before he could. After Scott didn’t move Stiles grabbed his shoulder and took Scott to his next class. But Scott couldn't pay attention for any of his other classes. He was too busy thinking. Scott wondered if Y/n was okay. He also wondered if he liked him back. When the final bell rang Scott slowly walked out of class and walked slowly out of school and walked slowly to Stiles jeep. 

Stiles was already there, waiting for his best friend. Once Scott got there he entered the jeep without saying a word neither did Stiles once he realized that Scott wouldn’t reply. But after a few minutes wondered what was wrong with his friend. “You good man,” Stiles asked. Scott’s head snapped to Stiles, like Stiles had scared him. Scott nodded, still not talking. 

“What are you thinking about?” Stiles asked. “What Y/n said” Scott said, speaking for the first time since Y/n said it. Stiles nodded. “Well” Stiles said, glancing at Scott for a minute. “Do you like him back?” Stiles asked. “I-i don’t know” Scott stuttered. Stiles sighed before his eyes widened. “Okay” he said looking at Scott. “Imagine kissing Allison” Scott was confused by what his friend said but he listened anyway. Scott closed his eyes and imagined kissing the girl. After he was done he opened his eyes. “How was it?” Stiles asked once Scott was done.

“Okay” Scott replied. It wasn’t good but it wasn’t bad either. Scott didn’t really feel anything when he imagined it. He didn’t get butterflies in his stomach like the way people told him. “Now imagine kissing “Y/n,” Stiles said. Scott closed his eyes again and imagined kissing Y/n. Scott imagined Y/n putting his hands around his waist as Scott put his hands around his shoulders and played with the hair at the nape of his neck. Scott’s eyes shot open. Imagining kissing Y/n was a lot better than imagining kissing Allison. Scott even had butterflies in his stomach. Scott’s eyes widened. He likes Y/n. 

Stiles smirked as he looked at Scott, as if he could read his mind and know what he was thinking. “So” Stiles asked, still with a smirk on his face. “Great,” Scott said, a little breathless. Stiles laughed as he pulled up to Scott’s house. Scott got out of the car and was about to shut the door to the jeep before Stiles said something. “Make sure to tell him” the Stiles drove off. Without asking him Scott knew what Stiles was talking about. Scott needed to tell Y/n that he loved him at school tomorrow. Scott smiled at the thought. Scott entered his house with a smile that was brighter than the sun. 

As Scott walked into the school he looked for Y/n. After a few minutes Scott spotted Y/n at his locker. Scott walked up to Y/n and pulled him into the nearest supply closet. “Wha-” Y/n didn’t get to finish as Scott had placed his lips on Y/n’s. Y/n’s eyes widened. Scott was kissing him. Y/n quickly started to kiss Scott back as he grabbed his waist. The kiss wasn’t perfect. Neither y/n nor Scott had experience kissing, but to them it was perfect. Scott put his arms around Y/n’s neck as he played with the hair at the nape of his neck. Y/n was the one to pull away. Y/n looked into Scott’s eyes as Scott smiled. “I like you too,” Scott said. 

Now Y/n was the one who smiled. 

[idkiwasntsupposedtobebackhere]

ok so since people didn’t cut my head off for my unpopular opinions i’m gonna expand on the second one. so for people in the gilmore girls fandom it’s pretty much the general opinion that luke is a saint for taking jess in and that jess screwed things up and that it’s his fault luke kicked him out. ”he got himself kicked out”. even people who like jess seem to think this is fair. so as someone who watches gilmore girls mostly for jess i have a different perspective that i’ve never actually vocalized but i figured maybe this little corner of the internet wouldn’t hate me for this, as long as it doesn’t make it out of here.

so i also first of all think that the fact that jess has to work at luke’s and graduate in order to stay there is a bit sad. like everyone around him his age has somewhere they can stay without conditions, and people wonder why he’s the only one worried about making money. and yes, it’s a fine idea in theory, he has to change his ways if he wants to stay with luke bc that’s the point of him being there, sure, but luke could stand to NOT always bring it up to jess during fights that can’t stay with him if he violates the conditions.

bc the thing is that luke very clearly makes it known that he doesn’t want jess there and that the whole situation is kind of a pain in his ass that he’s doing out of obligation. a minor is entitled to a place to stay where they can be an asshole unconditionally, actually, and they shouldn’t have to be constantly grateful to have that. and if luke didn’t want to fully commit and be that place, he should have said no to taking jess in. you don’t get to get all the praise for doing a good deed and then get all pissy about actually following through with it.

like i know luke and jess aren’t the main characters and that their scenes and dynamic are for comedy. but then they play off jess leaving as serious so i should be allowed to analyze their scenes seriously. and my conclusion is… luke is not that nice to jess LOL. like i can’t think of a single scene where he responds to him in any other manner than pissed off or annoyed. he never stops treating him like a bad kid. we know luke cares about jess but does jess have any reason to believe that? or does he think this is all for liz? like i know their scenes are jokes but for someone who complains so much about what a difficult person jess is to connect with, i think luke missed a lot of moments to do it.

luke taking jess in in general is nice, YES, but i’m not talking about just good intentions here. and i know that it was a very good intention but i, again, just super dislike the whole ”you wouldn’t have anywhere to stay if it wasn’t for me, so watch it”-attitude. even in season 4 luke basically said that jess had to come to liz’ wedding because he was there for him when no one else was. and i think that’s a shitty thing to say to someone who deserved more. i know luke didn’t have to do it bc he’s not his parent and that’s why people forgive him and not liz, who is his parent and did have to do it. but i think luke agreed to be jess’ parent and if he didn’t want to, he could have said no to his sister for once in his life. anyways, i think i’ve made my point.

also, i love you luke, my world just revolves around your nephew. i know i’m putting a lot of unrealistic expectations on a guy who’s pretty emotionally constipated. and he did come through with the big things, like giving jess money in sesson 4. but i’m talking about the little things that could have made even more of a difference. just don’t get it twisted ok, luke and jess’ relationship is my fave on the show, i may like it even more than rory and jess’, but when i enjoy something i analyze it. so don’t think i don’t love them, because i do! i just want to squash the idea that luke did everything he could but that jess ultimately was too difficult, because i disagree with that.

[parkerdoeswriting]

Something So Wholesome About You

(Miles Morales x GN Reader)

category: fluff blurb

summary: reader finds Miles’ sketchbook, learns two secrets of his. 

warnings: snooping, so…much…fluff… dies, literal cringe and it makes me sick, awkward love confession

word count: 0.6k

A/N: the idea of snooping in someone’s sketchbook without them knowing physically pains me as an artist DON'T DO IT!!!

You were making your way over to the Morales household, it was summer break and you’ve been spending almost every second weekend over at their house. You get to their apartment, taking the stairs up to their floor. You check your phone as you walk to their unit, making sure Miles didn’t have to go anywhere last minute.

You knock on the door, your hands shoved inside the pockets of your pants as you wait for someone to open it. 

“Who is- oh hello!” Mrs Morales opens the door, instantly recognizing your face. 

“Hola Mrs Morales” you smile, giving a small wave as she invites you in. 

Your eyes scan the apartment for any sign of Miles, but you don’t see him. 

“Is Miles here?” you ask, taking off your shoes and putting them on the shoe rack. 

“In his room” she smiles, going back into the kitchen. 

“Thanks” you smile back, heading to his room. 

You open the door, looking inside your best friend’s all too familiar bedroom. You don’t see him, so you frown as you take a seat on his bed, setting down your backpack. You wonder if he’s just in the bathroom, so you grab your phone and send him a text. 

“I’m here!” you message him, waiting on a response.

You put your phone back into your bag, looking around again. Your eyes land on his sketchbook, and even though you know you shouldn’t snoop, he was your best friend and you were interested in what he’s been up to. 

You open his sketchbook, and at first, it’s filled with his normal graffiti art. But as you skim through the pages, you see an influx of a singular person. You wonder if maybe you’re just overthinking it, but that person looks a lot like- you? 

Those drawings aren’t even the weirdest thing in his book, you see the occasional Spider-Man suit- redesign?

You furrow your eyebrows and widen your eyes at the designs, does Miles work with Spider-Man? Or is he just a super fan? You don’t even let your brain consider the possibility that Miles is Spider-Man, like come on, my Miles?

You are so focused in thought that you don’t hear as footsteps approach the door, and as the door knob twists open.   

“Hey sorry I was- WAIT NO” Miles shouts, reaching for his sketchbook in your hands, yanking it. 

“I’m sorry I’m sorry!!” you exclaim, putting your hands up in surrender, your eyes still as wide as ever. 

“Don’t look at that!” he says, not even making eye contact with me as he throws it onto his desk.

 

“I’m sorry I- I don’t even know why I looked at it!” I apologize profusely. 

He doesn’t look at you, but you can see as his cheeks get red. 

“Please, I’m very sorry” you tilt my head at him. 

“It’s- it’s fine” he sighs, sitting next to you on his bed. 

You both sit in silence for a while, your fingers play with your pant fabric as you sit still. 

“Can I ask you something?” you abruptly ask, turning to face him. 

He gulps and looks at me, his eyes wide. He looks like a deer caught in headlights. 

“Are you Spider-Man?” “I like you” you both blurt out at the same time. 

Now it’s my turn for my eyes to widen, and his jaw drops. 

“Wait- no- uh” he tries to backtrack, stumbling along the way. 

“I like you too” “I am Spider-Man” you both blurt out again 

His eyes widen and your jaw drops. 

“Woah” you laugh softly, smiling.

“I can’t believe you're actually Spider-Man!” you exclaim, shaking my hands. 

“I can’t believe you actually like me?!” he says. 

We sit in silence, letting our happiness and shock simmer down. 

“So uh, can you show me the rest of your drawings?” I rub my neck, smiling as I scooch closer to him. 

He smiles back, getting his sketchbook back from his desk.

[rollinouttahere-writes]

Dark Chocolate with Prompt 17 and 4 for Kaku Please?

Yandere Kaku x GN!Reader

1k words

Prompts:

I feel like I’m in a romance novel.

I don’t deserve you, but I want you. Is that so wrong?

“You have a lot of nerve showing your face around here.”

Of all the things that could have happened today, you definitely didn’t anticipate that one of them would involve your ex climbing through your window as if the past few months hadn’t happened. 

“I understand you’re upset, but please let me explain myself.” Kaku held up his hands and approached you like you were a skittish animal.

You couldn’t believe the audacity of this man to come into your home and start making demands. Why the hell should you listen to someone who abandoned you without so much as a word to you. You didn’t want to even look at him right now. Pointing at the window, you yell at him, “Absolutely not! Get out!”

“Please, doll, there’s no need to holler. I promise I can make this right.” His attempts to placate you only made you angrier. 

“Do not call me doll, Kaku,” every word was dripping with venom. He didn’t deserve to call you that anymore. “Do you have any idea what you put me through? What it was like to wake up one day only to find out that my boyfriend- who I wasted two years of my life with- up and disappeared without a trace? You couldn’t be bothered to speak with me or even leave a fucking note, but now all of a sudden you want to talk? Please. I’m done with you, so don’t even bother.”

While he was off doing who knows what, you were left inconsolable and to pick up the pieces of your broken heart by yourself. There were countless nights where you would cry yourself to sleep while wondering if it was something that you did. Him leaving the way he did made it impossible to get closure. That may have hurt you before, but now you didn’t want it. You’d rather stay in the dark than have to hear whatever sob story Kaku comes up with.

Kaku’s face fell, and the hurt on his face was palpable. A small, traitorous part of your heart ached at the expression, but you pushed yourself through it. You weren’t going to let him yank you around and play these kinds of games.

“I’m not leaving, please give me a fighting chance here.” His tone was practically begging.

“Fine.” His eyes lit up. “I’ll leave then, and you better not still be here when I come back.”

Not even giving him a chance to respond, you spin around and march towards the door, desperate to get out of this situation. It was definitely ridiculous to storm out of your own home when it should be him, but you didn’t have the energy or desire to argue with him.

Before you could reach it, Kaku abruptly appeared in front of you, causing you to stop dead in your tracks.Your mind struggles to process what just happened. Not only did you not hear any footsteps, you never even saw him move. How did he do that?

Kaku took advantage of your shocked state to grab your arms and push you back into a chair. You try to struggle out of his grip, but he won’t budge. Him being strong was hardly news to you, but his hands felt like iron shackles around you.

“I know that what I did was awful, but I need to talk to you, and you aren’t going anywhere until I’m done.” He paused to see if you would speak up again, and when you didn’t, he continued, “I’m sorry for leaving how I did, but I need you to understand that it wasn’t my choice to do so that way.”

You huffed and rolled your eyes at that, “Then what happened?”

“I,” he averted his eyes, “can’t give you all the details on that yet, but I can after you come with me and you’re somewhere safe.”

That was an alarming statement. What does he mean he can’t tell you until you’re somewhere safe? And safe from what? Not to mention it is simply insane of him to come here with the assumption that you would ever agree to go with him.

“I know I wronged you. I’ll never deny that, and I’ll spend the rest of our lives making up for it. I don’t deserve you, but I want you. Is that so wrong?”

“Excuse me?” There were several parts of what he just said that needed to be addressed. “First of all, there is no “our” between us. We are completely separate individuals, and I don’t want to see you again after today. Secondly, yes, it is wrong to want me after what you pulled. I’m over you, and you need to get over me.”

Kaku pursed his lips with a pained expression on his face and looked down. “I’m sorry.” He steps back, and for a moment you’re hopeful that he is about to leave. Suddenly, he lunges forward and hauls you up and over his shoulder. “But leaving without you isn’t an option. Don’t worry, I’ve already gotten this approved of. We’re going to be happy together, even if it takes time.”

“What the hell are you talking about?! Put me down!” You thrash in his hold, but it’s just as fruitless as it was earlier. He approaches the window he snuck in through to climb out, and in a last ditch attempt to prevent your kidnapping, you grab onto the windowsill with all your strength. This successfully brings him to a halt.

There’s a pause, followed by Kaku sighing. “Now, now, quit throwing a hissy fit,” he tuts. With minimal effort, he lurches forward, dislodging you from the frame you were clinging to. 

With that, he jumps up onto the roof and takes off, leaping from building to building completely carefree as if he wasn’t actively abducting you. Wind rushed around you as you screamed from the dizzying heights you were being forced to experience. You’d allowed him to carry you while doing this once before and had tapped out almost immediately, but you didn’t have that luxury this time around.

Completely ignoring your terror and protests, he laughs with pure, unadulterated glee. “Look at us! A couple of lovebirds running away to be together, I feel like I’m in a romance novel!” Not a single part of him appeared to be acknowledging the reality of the situation. He was completely delusional and there was nothing you could say to make him understand. You were completely at his mercy.

[emry-stars-art]

Massarati was a courting gift to andrew from abram after he realized they were courting one another

My face reading this omggggggg

(Gonna put this up top instead of at the end; find the royal au writing masterpost here 💕)

So this is the 4800 words of fluff; @jtl-fics was bouncing a LOT of ideas with me about it and everything was so sweet 😭🥰 you can read it here! :D or continue on this post for the sparknotes version from Abram's pov (minus the picnic date tho 👀), and let’s showcase my inexperience with horses ✨

THIS IS GREAT I done got myself a little by making Maserati a rescue case… like Abram’s probably right about what happened to her though I didn’t fully decide on it (I’m also making up everything about horse breeds in this universe thank youuu). He’s out one day for whatever reason and comes across this horse in no pasture that’s tall, clearly made for working, but it’s far too skinny. A little skiddish, but not enough that Abram can’t approach after a while of trying. It’s a familiar breed under the dirt and malnutrition.

He doesn’t even bother seeing where it might have come from. He fashions a makeshift lasso/bridle thing from rope and takes a few hours calming the horse enough to bring it back with him to the castle, leaving it in one of the smaller/less used stables with plenty of food and water before going to find Day or someone else that might be able to help. She doesn’t look impressive at first, obviously. But with lots of help and lots of time from Abram taken in secret to the stables, she slowly starts to get better. She gains weight, she gets readjusted to people, she lets him take care of her coat and hair.

At some point, Andrew insists once again on keeping Abram nearby when Abram is having a worse night than usual. Panicking easily, generally unwell. (Andrew is also wondering why Abram is suddenly spending so much time away, why he won’t tell Andrew where he’s been or what he’s doing. It’s completely in his right to do it, so Andrew never forces the issue, but it’s such an obvious switch from his normal behavior. Right when Andrew thought he could start leaning into the courting, it feels like Abram is pulling away and it hurts a little. He gets worried.) Abram can’t sleep, and Andrew won’t sleep until Abram does, so they lay on his bed with Andrew resting against Abram’s lap, relaxing or reading or tracing scars with his fingertips. It’s a long while before Abram asks, unprompted, “Did you ever have an ideal horse?”

Andrew gives him a look.

“I mean… a dream horse. Maybe when you were little, something you always wanted.”

Andrew makes a small noise. “I think most kids do.”

“Right. So did you?”

It takes more convincing than that, lots of Abram assuring Andrew that it’s not stupid, he’s just curious. He’ll tell Andrew his next. And finally Andrew tells Abram of when he was young, living with the Spears, and would fantasize about being anywhere else. He’d take a horse as black as night so no one would see him when he ran away, a horse that was strong and fast enough to take him wherever he wanted to go. He used to imagine it would carry two, so he could take his governess with him, but that was before she left. It was all child’s play, anyway. It didn’t matter now. (Abram’s horse wasn’t so detailed, but he said if he had to pick a coat color, he was very happy with the blue roan he was given.)

So the next time Abram goes to the stable he looks at her, sees how well she’s bulking up, sees again how much larger she is than the Friesians he’s used to from Evermore. She looks even stronger than those already capable horses. When she’s healthy she can certainly carry two riders and more besides, and her endurance is like the horse equivalent of his own. Her coat is getting shiny again, sleek like black oil.

When she’s healthy and ready, Abram trains her. He again has help, of course - there are people who’s jobs it is to take care of and train the castle’s horses and it isn’t him - but she has an undeniable soft spot for Abram. They get her used to being fully decked out in nice tack and equipment and whatever else. Abram holds her steady to get shoed. The veterinarians/au equivalent make sure she stays healthy and the stable master grows more impressed with her every day. She’s not your average horse, he tells Abram. She’s smart. There’s real intelligence in those eyes.

Abram could not be happier.

By the time the twins’ birthday comes around she is ready to go. Abram spends the morning before his work begins making sure she is as sparkling as he can get her, all ready for her favorite stable hand to take her to the main stables later while Abram attends the prince at the festivities. The stable hand is going to put her in her new tack, too, the beautiful white set Abram spent a good chunk of coin to have commissioned. The horse is perfectly well mannered around people now, though only Abram and a handful others can ride her. Abram only plans his evening because he knows she lets anyone ride alongside him - if Abram deems them worthy, the horse won’t protest. It isn’t trust he ever takes lightly. He’s pretty certain she’ll end up allowing Andrew every privilege she allows Abram. He is so excited and so, so nervous for that night. She’s as perfect as she could possibly be, but Andrew has gotten Abram so many wonderful gifts. This is the first time Abram has returned the favor with such intention. Hopefully it’s good enough. (She is.)

Oh also in case you’re wondering. Andrew only needs a new horse because his beloved GS was finally retired, GS is old and now gets to spend the rest of his days in nice pastures where Andrew feeds him lots of treats 💕 every like is one sugar cube gods bless

[hischierdevils]

Lover of Mine | J.M.

note: big thank you to @rowdyhughesy for encouraging me to finish this! I love writing for john and I’m so glad I have someone to talk about him with. Inspired by Lover of Mine by 5sos.

summary: a late night storm brings out some secret fears

warnings: lots of fluff, slight shark slander

wc: 1.3K

Lead to where your secrets are

Where we've been a thousand times

Swallow every single lie

Take all of me

A crack of thunder jolts you awake in the middle of the night making your heart race. You roll over searching for comfort, only to be met by empty sheets. “John?” You whisper into the darkness as you catch the time on his bedside clock. Where could he be at three in the morning? The bed is cold so you know he didn’t just run to the bathroom. 

A flash of lightning lights up the room as you get out of bed and pad across the floor to the door. Even though you’re expecting it this time, the next crack of thunder still causes you to jump. “John?” You call again softly to the dark apartment. 

You find him in the living room, standing in front of the big window watching the storm light up the sky. He jumps slightly as you wrap your arms around his waist from behind but then he relaxes and turns in your arms to face you. “Hey, baby. Why are you awake?” 

He smooths down your hair on both sides of your head before bending down to place a kiss on your forehead. “The thunder woke me up and you weren’t there.” You pout, hoping he’ll give you a kiss.

He obliges before wrapping his arms around you and pulling you tight to his chest. “I’m sorry.” He kisses your head again and you can tell something is bothering him. “I’ll come back to bed.” 

“Why were you out here?” You force yourself to pull away from his warm embrace so you can look at his face. Most of it is in shadow but the faint light from the window allows you to see the worry lines around his mouth and the way his eyes are downcast. You bring your hand up to cup his cheek and he leans into your touch immediately. “What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing.” He lies before turning his head to kiss your palm. “I just couldn’t sleep.” 

“John.” Lightning flashes throughout the room so bright you have to close your eyes followed closely by a rumble of thunder so loud it sounds like it hit your apartment building. You jump and he tightens his hold on you as he moves you both away from the window. “Talk to me.” 

“I had a bad dream.” He admits so quietly you almost don’t hear him. 

Your heart clenches as you look up at him. You know he’s been stressed with the trade deadline approaching. His name hasn’t come up in any trade rumors but that doesn’t mean it’s not a possibility. “What was it about?” 

“I got traded…” he confirms your thoughts. “...and we broke up.” 

If my name never fell off your lips again

I know it'd be such a shame

When I take a look at my life

And all of my crimes

You're the only thing that I think I got right

Confessing to his bad dream causes John to relive it all over again. In the dream, you had told him that you were tired of following him around the country for hockey. That you didn’t want to start over in a new city again and that you couldn’t keep doing it year after year, wondering if he’d get traded again. Dream you had told him that it was over, you had to break up with him.  He woke up in a panic with tears on his face as he looked over at your sleeping form. 

You were the best thing that ever happened to him and he couldn’t imagine his life without you in it. The two of you met at Harvard and you had followed him to Pennsylvania and now New Jersey. He knew it wasn’t fair to you but he loved you and couldn’t bear the thought of losing you. 

“I’m not going to break up with you just because you get traded, bub.” You assure him as you reach up to play with one of his curls. “I love you.” 

He smiles and bends down to kiss you. “I love you too.” 

“I’d follow you anywhere.” You tell him as you relax against his chest. “You should know that by now.” 

Doubt continues to creep into his mind. “What if I get traded to Vancouver?” 

You laugh as you step out of his arms and walk to the couch. “I’d prefer somewhere warmer. Maybe San Jose?” John follows you and sits beside you. “You look so good in red though and I don’t like their colors.” 

“Oh yeah?” He laughs as you curl into his side. 

“Yeah.” You yawn. “Maybe Anaheim will be a better color scheme for you.”

He pulls you into his lap, rubbing your back as you rest your head on his shoulder. “I love you so much, y/n.” 

“I love you too, pretty boy.” He blushes from the nickname, burying his face in your neck as you run your fingers through his curls. “You’re stuck with me forever.” 

“I’m okay with that.” He mumbles into your skin, causing you to giggle. 

He picks his head up to smile at you and you quickly boop his nose. “You have the cutest little nose.” You tell him. “Hopefully one day our kids have it.” 

“Kids?” His hands tighten on your hips as he looks at you in surprise. “Our kids?”

“I wanna have your babies someday.” You explain as you trace the mole on his cheek with your finger. “Is that okay with you?” 

“It’s more than okay, baby.” He tips his head down to kiss you as he tugs slightly at your hair so you’ll open your mouth for him. He pushes his tongue through your parted lips as you move in his lap so you’re straddling him. He moans softly against you as you begin to rock your hips but a loud crack of thunder causes you to jump off of him. 

He stands up to pull you in for a hug, remembering you said that the thunder woke you up to begin with. “Will you come to bed with me?” You ask him quietly as you rest your head against his racing heart. 

“I have a better idea.” 

Dance around the living room

Lose me in the sight of you

I've seen the red, I've seen the blue

Take all of me

You watch him curiously as he walks over to the stereo and turns it on. A Taylor Swift song that you were listening to earlier starts to play and John walks back over to you to take your hand. “Dance with me.” 

“Bub, it’s the middle of the night.” You hesitate as another flash of lightning lights up the room, illuminating John in a white glow. “You have practice tomorrow.” 

He tugs on your hand, pulling you close to him so he can rest his free hand on your hip. “I wanna dance with my girl.” He gives you a quick peck before spinning you around. 

The sound of your giggles makes him feel like his heart is about to burst. “You’re such a goof.” You tell him as goes to dip you. 

“But I am your goof, forever.” He tells you once he’s holding you a few inches from the floor. 

You smile, a little breathless before he brings you back up. “And I'm yours, bub.”

As the two of you dance around the living room, you wonder how you got so lucky with him. He’s on the quieter side most of the time and more reserved than most of his teammates but he’s always given all of himself to you. 

Moments like this, dancing around the dark living room at three am with a thunderstorm as music, is what made you fall for him in the first place. It’s what you think about when he’s on the road and what keeps you following him city to city.

[galaxycunt]

My Dinner With Buggy pt 2

I love playing with dialog so I figured why not keep going. As with part one it’s all dialogue so enjoy the ride everyone lol

Tagging @gingernut1314 @gayafsatan as yall requested a part 2 a million years ago

Sea spray hits your face as you left the restaurant, “so, what’s the move?”

Hands appear in front of you holding two bottles of wine, “one for each of us.”

“Really? In front of a lieutenant like that?”

“You gonna handcuff me, officer?”

You giggle, “miss Impel Down that much, huh?”

“God! Let’s not talk about that fucked up place. Take the wine, honey.”

“I let you order steak and this is how you repay me?”

He wags his tongue, “I’m covering dessert.”

“Gross.”

“You love it, shut up. So where’s this room you got?”

“Couple blocks down. You don’t wanna go to a bar?”

“I haven’t seen you in at least 6 years. I wanna make up for lost time.”

“Tch. Shooting for the stars tonight?”

Buggy frowns, “I thought this was a date.”

You falter, “hey. I thought we were teasing. Come here, Bug.”

Your lips taste sweet, “I missed you a lot. I’m not the only salty dog missing their lost love, but hey, you’re more important, so there.”

You kiss him again, “let’s go out for a little bit?”

“Sure, I’ll take you anywhere you wanna go. Oh shit! I forgot, I left something for you on the ship.”

“We got road wine, let’s go get it”

“This is nice, by the way.”

“It is. Too bad you ain’t a civ, easier. Even easier if you were a marine.”

“I’m gonna ask again. You’d like it.”

“I dunno, man. Lot of baggage with that. Especially on the Grand Line.”

“Not with me.”

“You already got captured once, baby.”

“I know, I know. But you hate this shit. Been in the game too long, why?”

“I dunno, maybe I felt we were doing something good. Too old for that shit, I guess”, the Big Top is as nice as you remember it, “there’s the old girl.”

He smiles, “my two girls, together at last.”

“I wonder if that note I left is still there.”

“Note? What-“

“-captain! Oh shit, look who it is!”

“-Cabaji! Glad someone’s keeping Bug outta trouble!”

He smiles at the two of you, “we should catch up. Later.”

“Thanks, man. See ya.”

“So what note?”

“Oh! It’s uh, not important. Just something I wrote last time I was here.”

“Where’d you hide it?”

“In the galley, deep, deep in the pantry.”

He kisses you, “let’s go find it then.”

“Buggy, no. Come on, you’re supposed to take me out.”

“Real quick. I promise.”

You tug him away, to no avail, “Buggy. It’s really stupid, you’ll enjoy it after a few drinks.”

“I got a few bottles in my room. We can read it there.”

“What about my gift?”

“Just a buncha jewelry, who cares? I’m finding that letter.”

Turns out he can find anything with ease if he wanted to, “aw. Your handwriting is so cute sometimes.”

“Oh, shut up.”

He kisses your temple, he’s getting very touchy, you realize, “lemme guess, treasure map?”

“Look, it’s something I wrote when we were like 18.”

“….really?”

“Uh huh.”

He jerks his chin toward his cabin, “let’s take this somewhere quiet.”

You hear your heart beat in your ears, cheeks on fire, “it’s really cringey. I was 18.”

“Do you really not want me to read it?”

“You’ll make fun of me.”

“I won’t. I really won’t.”

“Okay.”

“I already know you love me.”

You laugh, “shit. Guess you’re right.”

He clears his throat, “Buggy, our paths are unwinding, the red string of fate tugging us apart.”

“Oh Jesus, it’s worse than I thought.”

Heightening his voice he continues, “if only I knew the devil’s pact I made, and the one you sold your soul to. My love I can’t bear it. You don’t even know I love you.”

“See, that’s why I didn’t wanna read it.”

“So why even give it to me?”

“Because I didn’t think you loved me.”

He grows serious, “I did. Why did you think I did that stupid shit? To impress you, dummy.”

“You’re such a clown.”

“Exactly! You liked clowns.”

You smile, “yeah, I remember that asshole at the pier.”

“Join my crew, I’ll marry ya.”

“Only if I join?”

“We been apart too long, I’m not waiting until I hit some shitty village every six months to see you.”

“Ah, that makes sense now.”

“Sometimes I’d lower the Jolly Roger, just see if our boats can pass by, if I can see you on the deck.”

“I didn’t know that.”

“Yeah.”

You stare at his lips, you wouldn’t be the only Marine turning, “marry me tonight then.”

“Don’t think captains can officiate their own wedding.”

“Let’s find someone.”

He looks at the clock, “and if we can’t?”

“Ask me again tomorrow. Do it for real.”

Buggy picks you up instead, “can we just skip to the wedding night?”

“I’m not gonna marry you then.”

He smirks, “according to that letter, we’ve been married for 18 years already.”

[alicepao13]

Hudson and Rex S06E15

So, as I’m sure a lot of people have already figured out, we just watched the intended season finale. CityTV, you better hope I never get to cross that ocean. I mean, every season finale aside from the two where Peter Mitchell was in charge (coincidence?) were run of the mill episodes which could have fit anywhere in the season. Maybe it will be fitting for this season to start and end with viewers wondering what they watched. But I’m getting ahead of myself here and I might be wrong. Let’s focus on 15 which may very well be the best episode of the season for me, probably tied with S06E04.

The spoiled scene with Charlie and Sarah’s mentioned anniversary. Rex totally wants to stay with Jesse after their “celebration”. I’m trying to figure whether Jesse is pretending to be naive or is actually being naive about it. Or if the whole response is the writers being unable to outright say that Charlie and Sarah really spent their anniversary having sex all night.

Speaking of, two years, Charlie Hudson? What are you waiting for, an epiphany to hit you in the head? Oh, wait.

What do you mean, we didn’t save the day? There’s a dead woman? Huh? 

Nice bomb explosion by the way.

“My bosses are gonna hate this but tell me more”. lol Jesse

How did we end up as security detail for the woman who might become prime minister?

Look, I like when there’s a case where they’re toying with supernatural elements. That’s why I loved Castle so much. And Jesse is always eager to believe. Charlie on the other hand looks like he’s got tons to say on the subject. Rex too. Apparently he doesn’t believe in time travel either.

Any so called time traveler should come back to the present with the numbers for the lottery. That would be ample proof for me :P

Can I say how much I like the camera work on this one? Good directing by John Vatcher.

Rex is getting so many pats in this episode. Deserved.

This campaign manager is on par with the Veep campaign managers. And by that I mean he’s ruthless and self-centered and I want to punch him.

That food now possibly has dog hair in it.

I come from a country where it’s pretty normal to put a musical montage right in the middle of an episode (even a dance number), so I’m not going to say anything about the needless song.

Thunk! There goes Charlie. Again. I’ll spare y’all the concussion speech. Besides, time moves in mysterious ways in this show, maybe it’s already been six months since episode 11.

Seriously, why do you tell Rex to chase a lead if you can’t survive being ten feet away from him?

I can’t remember the last time any of my shows put a bomb vest on one of the main characters. The latest that I remember was FBI but it was on a minor character. That had been a great episode too.

I haven’t yet decided whether that bomb vest looks too amateurish. To be fair, given who the culprit was, it shouldn’t look professional.

Sarah finding Charlie as he has a bomb vest on is like, the best thing that has happened lately on this show. Her look. His look as he realizes that he’s got his entire family now in this (and the mantra of no, no, no that must be playing in his head, I’m filling the blanks, don’t mind me). The slight zooming in of the camera in both of their shots, denoting the direness of the situation.

I was almost waiting for Charlie to say “this isn’t as enjoyable as it was last night” as Sarah was touching him while she’s checking the bomb vest. It writes itself, come on.

In my last review post I wrote that I was hoping the earphones would serve for Charlie to call Sarah and tell her goodbye or something like that. This certainly exceeded my expectations.

We’re a bit late for love confessions under duress but when Charlie was asked about whether Sarah was his wife and he replied “Not yet”, that was a nice moment. At least we know where his head is at.

Their silent communication. They’re so in sync.

Elsewhere, Joe and Jesse are quietly trying to figure out a way to save innocent people and somehow not get their friend blown up.

Superintendent Joe Donovan making airplane noises. I laughed so much.

They are holding hands as they’re walking to their doom! Oh, by the way, interesting music choice. I wonder if it’s score created for the show or non-original music. I’ve certainly not heard it before on the show.

Goodbye kiss! I love it here. And look at the shot of Charlie and Rex leaving as Sarah is staying behind.

Me: no way it’s the convict. Five minutes later: it’s the fucking convict!!! Ten minutes later: it’s not the convict???

Ha, Charlie using the mute button which is pretty convenient but almost no one uses on calls. 

Okay, they fooled me with the bomber. But the takedown went pretty much as I expected. Nice communication with Rex through hand signals, again. Although the detonator flying off the lady’s hand… anything could have happened.

Rex’s influence to the system will be more K9s lol. They may also have ensured unlimited funding for the SJPD.

Can the time traveling guy tell us if Charlie is going to propose anytime soon? Or is the “not yet” considered a non-proposal proposal?

This is the first time I’m hearing about the so called Alice in wonderland syndrome.

“Everybody needs a Rex”. Ah, yes. Our catchphrase.

Charlie, put the phone down. When is that man clocking out? Who’s going to make sure Rex is getting adequate rest? I need to talk to his superior. Joe!

Well, I kept saying that I wanted Charlie and Sarah to be in danger again together since they hadn’t after they had become a couple, and I got my wish, thank you, show. We could have had an aftermath scene with them but I’m not going to complain about it in an otherwise good episode.

Promo: I’m beyond frustrated that they keep shuffling the episodes and they wouldn’t even give it a rest when they got the season finale or the 100th episode on their hands. Today’s (yesterday’s) episode would have been a better 100th episode than The Rookie’s for sure (which is embarrassing for The Rookie). But instead we get to watch it as episode 99 and have a run of the mill case for the 100th, which, unless it ends up in a huge celebration scene, is going to fall flat. We basically end off exactly as we started, expect I now know this is 100% CityTV’s fault.

Speaking of, is CityTV even going to acknowledge that it’s the 100th episode? Is anyone? I’m obviously not expecting the magnitude of promotion ABC gave The Rookie or 911 this season (and that was a lot) but something that shows they’re not completely neglecting Hudson and Rex. It doesn’t seem like we’re getting renewal news anytime soon, so I’d settle for them celebrating the episodes they already filmed. There are quite a few production companies involved too, this does not only fall on CityTV. If Shaftesbury wants to celebrate this milestone, I won’t say no.