#and like yeah he super jumped the gun on that one but that doesn’t make him stupid

[transselkie]

Matsuda Touta is not actually stupid and this is a hill that I am prepared to die on.

[auras-moonstone]

can i ask for shy!camp counselor ethan? like he’s great with kids but he’s very reserved around the rest of the crew. and reader is kind of extroverted. basically simp!!!! ethan

want to know you better — ethan landry

word count: 1,183

pairing: camp counselor!ethan landry x camp counselor!fem!reader

summary: after y/n defended ethan to their crew, she finally makes a conversation with him.

author’s note: this one is a bit short bc i’ve been super busy with college😫 on the bright side, part two of “august” is almost finished, so that’ll be my next post! ����🏻

Y/N COULDN’T RECALL ONE MOMENT IN WHICH ETHAN HAD WILLINGLY TALKED TO HER, OR ANYONE ELSE ON THE CREW FOR THE MATTER. She was very curious about him, the kids loved him and he seemed so sweet, but he always stayed silent during meetings and when the staff gathered around to eat.

“He doesn’t make conversation with us but he’s perfectly happy around kids. That’s a red flag” Vince, a staff member said while looking at Ethan, who was making the kids play by the lake.

“I wouldn’t say red flag, it’s straight up creepy” Joss replied with a laugh.

“Stop it” Y/N glared at them. “He’s not creepy, he’s just shy. Besides, I don’t blame him. You guys can be real mean sometimes.”

“Aw, does Y/N have a little crush?” Diana teased her.

“Really, Y/N? On Ethan? He’s not your type at all” Nate said.

“And how the fuck do you know if he’s my type or not?” Nate raised his hands in surrender “Whatever, I don’t have a crush on him, I’m just not a dick like you guys.”

“Come on, Y/N/N. You have to admit he’s weird” Diana scrunched her nose.

“He’s not. He doesn’t talk, so what? Have you tried to make a conversation with him?” she asked them, and they stayed silent. “Exactly my point. We haven’t been the most welcoming people.”

“I just get a weird vibe from him” Vince said, shrugging.

“Yeah, he’s giving psychopath” Nate agreed, making the rest of them laugh.

Y/N rolled her eyes “And you’re giving world’s biggest assholes” she stood up and made her way towards Ethan and the kids, ignoring how they called her name.

When the kids caught sight of her, they started jumping in excitement. “Y/N! Please help us, Ethan is being boring!”

Y/N gasped dramatically “Oh, how dare he! What do you need?”

“We want to play with the water guns” one of the kids said.

The older girl crossed her arms in front of her chest “How do you know about the water guns? They were supposed to be a secret until tomorrow. Have you been spying on our meetings?”

“No! Ethan let it slip” they replied, making the camp counselor glare at them, and muttered ‘Traitors’.

Y/N laughed and Ethan swooned. She was just so pretty, and her laugh was angelic “Wow, you snitched on him so fast, you don’t deserve Ethan’s kindness.”

“Boo, we thought you would be on our side, Y/N/N!”

“Fine, I don’t want to lose my spot as your favorite counselor, so let’s bring the water guns” she said, making the kids scream in excitement.

“We are not supposed to” Ethan said in a low tone.

Y/N stared at him, the sound of his voice surprised her. It was deep and calm, and nice to hear “Don’t worry, we can change the day of the activity. It’ll be fun. Besides, you can get your revenge on them for handing you in.” she smiled playfully.

Ethan’s smile was unlike anything Y/N had ever seen. His pearly white teeth were hypnotic and he had the most beautiful boyish laugh Y/N had ever heard. Now she really wished she’d talked to him sooner, she would have had that sight for longer.

The two counselors walked towards the supply closet to grab the water guns, fully aware of the rest of the crew’s eyes on them. She sent a dirty glare on their way.

“I’m sorry, Ethan.” Y/N said. Ethan looked at her expecting her to go on “For not talking to you earlier this summer. I know you’re too shy to make conversation, so I should’ve been the one to start it.”

Ethan shook his head “It’s okay.”

“It’s not” she quickly replied. “Even if we’re here for the job, it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t have fun. And you don’t deserve to spend your summer alone.”

“Thank you” Ethan smiled softly, his cheeks turning red. “I’m not sure the rest of the crew likes you talking to me.”

“I don’t care what those idiots have to say about me.” Y/N shrugged.

“Thank you for defending me earlier, by the way” he finally said. Y/N widened her eyes. “Yes, I heard. They aren’t exactly low talkers.”

“I’m sorry you had to hear that. It was awful, what they were saying.”

“A wise woman once said, I don’t care what those idiots have to say about me” Ethan said, in a weird period-drama kind of voice.

Y/N bursted out laughing and Ethan’s heart started racing “Those are some wise words indeed.”

“Can we play now or are you going to keep flirting?” the annoyed voice of a little girl said.

The two blushing messes holding the water guns shifted uncomfortably. They didn’t notice until the moment it was addressed, but they were flirting. And it felt good.

“Okay” Y/N said once everyone had their guns. “Let’s divide into groups.”

The kids exchanged smiles, and the counselors started to worry. Ethan looked at Y/N “They had schemed against us.”

“Kids…?”

“Attack!”

Before they knew it, the two authority figures were completely drenched. Y/N quickly grabbed Ethan’s hands and they started to run, the kids following their trails.

“Stop it, you monsters! You betrayed me!” Y/N yelled as she ran.

“You switched to Ethan’s side! Now you pay the consequences” they yelled back.

“Maybe… maybe we should stop” Ethan tried to catch his breath. “They’ll run out of water eventually. And I can’t breathe anymore.”

“Okay” Y/N agreed. “We surrender.”

The kids circled them once again, and they splashed them with water until their guns emptied. “Little devils” Ethan muttered as they fled the scene.

“That was fun, though” Y/N laughed.

The boy nodded “Your hair is sticking on your cheeks” Ethan laughed, putting her hair strands behind her ear. His deep brown eyes met hers and Ethan’s breath hitched. “You…” he shook his head and blushed “Never mind.”

“That’s the worst thing you can say to an over thinker. Now you have to spill it or I won’t be able to sleep until I know what you were going to say” Y/N told him, trying to ignore that she could still feel his touch on her skin.

“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” he sighed.

“Oh, shit. Do I have something in my face, in my teeth? Fuck, just te-” she asked embarrassed.

“I wanted to say you are beautiful.” he cut her off, not being able to meet her eyes. He glanced at his hands nervously.

Y/N took the chance to study his face. His puppy eyes were her favorite thing about him, she decided. But he also had beautiful long eyelashes, an adorable nose, and rosy cheeks to die for. His skin looked soft, and she couldn’t help but touch it. Y/N’s fingers grazed his jaw, making him look at her.

“And you’re gorgeous” Y/N said softly. “And I love how the kids seem to love you. You’re funny, and sweet and I want to know you better, if you want to.”

“I would really like that.” he nodded, smiling from ear to ear.

[42ap]

The Mysterious Creatures of Oregon

One noon, Stan appeared in the gift shop. "I made hot dogs!" he said. "Come taste and see how they are."

Wendy took one, took a bite, and immediately spat it out. "That's disgusting!" she said. "Why are there potatoes and onions in this?"

Stan looked at her, confused. "Is it not good?" he asked.

She grabbed a bottle of water and rinsed her mouth. "It's not good," she confirmed.

Stan frowned at his hot dog. "Maybe I didn’t put enough bell peppers?" he muttered.

Of course not! Before Wendy could say anything, Dipper interrupted.

"Wendy, don’t say anything," Mabel said, holding the hot dog Stan gave her without taking a bite. "This is made for the Author."

"Oh yeah, it must be for the Author," Dipper said, also not eating his hot dog. "I knew it."

"The Author?" Wendy asked. Everyone looked calm. "What Author?"

"The Author lives in the basement," Dipper said with certainty, as if that alone answered Wendy’s question.

Suddenly, the lights in the gift shop went out.

Soos ran out from the office. "Don’t panic! Everything’s fine!" he assured them before rushing to usher tourists out of the shop. "Wendy, help me get them out."

Still confused, Wendy did as she was told. As they evacuated the tourists, the shack not only lost power but also began to shake. A sharp, piercing scream echoed from below.

"Is this a special show?" a tourist asked. "How much to stay and watch?"

Soos shoved him out as well.

Once all the tourists were gone, Wendy turned to Soos. "Are you going to explain anything to me?" she asked.

"Oh, it’s no big deal," Soos said casually. "The Author must be doing an experiment. Stan said if the noise gets too loud, we should clear out the tourists because the Author doesn’t like people noticing his work."

"And who exactly is this Author?" Wendy pressed. "When did he move in? And Stan doesn’t care about losing business?"

"The Author’s a great guy," Soos simply said cheerfully, then turned to lock the entrance.

As Wendy pondered this, another monstrous scream came from beneath them.

Wendy walked into the gift shop and sat down.

She jumped up immediately. "What is this?!" she yelped, looking down at a strange, old-fashioned gun on the chair. "Is there seriously a gun just lying on the cashier’s stool?"

"Oh, whoops," Mabel said, picking up the gun. "The Author forgot his gun again. I’ll bring it down to him later."

"The Author forgot his gun?" Wendy repeated incredulously.

"He was just here," Mabel explained. "Stan was sorting merchandise, and the Author came up to chat for a bit before leaving."

"And the gun played what role in all this?"

"Ah, I have no idea. The Author’s a weird guy."

"I can see that," Wendy muttered.

"Day off today!" Stan announced as he strode into the shop, grinning. "You little punks, go have some fun."

"Wow, Stan," Wendy said, looking him up and down. Stan was wearing a yellow shirt, and his hair was neatly combed. "You look unusually sharp today."

"Of course," Stan said, adjusting his clothes in the reflection of the window.

"Mr. Pines, are you going somewhere?" Soos asked as he swept the shop.

"Stan’s going out to eat with the Author!" Mabel chirped. "So he won’t be around today!"

"Dinner?" Wendy asked. "In the basement?"

"In town," Stan said. "We don’t want to eat in Gravity Falls. The people here are too nosy."

Wendy frowned. "Isn’t the Author living in the basement?"

"Can’t a man come out for dinner just because he lives in a basement?" Stan shot back.

"I thought—" Wendy hesitated. "That he’s afraid of sunlight, or he looks weird, or is super antisocial—just generally can’t be seen by people."

"He’s normal," Stan said. "He just works down there."

Wendy watched, perplexed, as Stan walked out of the shack.

"If he’s not some strange little goblin Stan took pity on," she murmured, "Then why is he going out to dinner with an ordinary guy?"

Wendy walked into the kitchen. Stan was cooking.

She glanced at him—he was making spaghetti.

"Cooking for the Author again?" she asked.

"Stanford," Stan corrected her. "Just call him Stanford. He’s my twin brother."

That seemed like an important missing detail. But if Stan wasn’t going to elaborate, she wasn’t going to ask.

"You seem to be in a pretty good mood lately," she remarked.

"I don’t see any reason not to be," Stan said. "I already have everything I want."

"That’s kind of a cheesy thing to say," Wendy noted.

"It is," Stan admitted, smiling as he turned back to his cooking.

Wendy was the first to enter the shop that morning. She unlocked the door, opened the windows, turned on the radio, and flipped the switch for the gold miner animatronic.

Then, suddenly, the vending machine swung open.

A man stepped out, looking a lot like Stan, but with darker hair.

"You must be the Author," Wendy said, eyeing him.

The man looked startled, as if he hadn’t expected anyone to be here. "Oh, uh, hello," he said awkwardly.

"I’m Wendy."

"I’m Stanford," he replied.

Wendy tilted her head, watching as Stanford installed some kind of device in the shop.

"You know, they’ve told me a lot about you," Wendy said, looking him over. "But I didn’t expect you to be… this."

"What did you expect?"

"Well," Wendy said, "You live in the basement, rely on Stan to bring you meals, rarely come to the surface, own a gun, and keep a bunch of monsters downstairs. In my imagination, you were a four-foot-tall, tumor-like lump with glasses."

Stanford laughed. "Well, I’m glad I’m not that," he said.

"Are you and Stan, like… dating or something?" Wendy asked.

Stanford looked startled, his face turning red almost instantly. "Why?" he asked, "Did Stan say something to you?"

"Stan didn’t say anything."

"Oh, great," he muttered. "Now I’m the one with the big mouth."

"Stan really likes you," Wendy said.

"I really like Stan too," Stanford admitted.

Wendy shuddered. "You two are the corniest old men I’ve ever met," she said.

Stanford chuckled. "Keep this a secret, alright?" he asked, then disappeared back into the vending machine.

The next time the gift shop lost power, Wendy stood up and started ushering people out without hesitation.

"Why is the ground shaking? What do you have in that basement?" a tourist asked.

"A mysterious creature of the Mystery Shack," Wendy replied.

"Oh, like Bigfoot?"

"Yeah, yeah," she said, pushing him out the door.

[danthediamondminecart]

RBBTOBER DAY 13 - 14: ANGELS & DEMONS

Or: What if Tanqr made a different choice of ally in Season 3?

So like, I'm cheating in more than one way here. Firstly, the prompt says angels and demons, not angels and devils. Therefore, Pink and Tanqr still apply despite Tanqr not being a devil in my headcanons.

Secondly, the drabble for this prompt is an edited draft of a fic from...almost exactly a year ago, actually! I'd intended to write it into a full fic for Halloween, but then Nerdy Prudes Must Die came out and suddenly all I could think about what what eventually became Antithesis. I only got to the first 2 scenes. I'm super busy at the moment, so I decided to repurpose that draft to make the drabble, with some changes to give it an actual ending.

Said drabble under the cut!

Somewhere in the RB Battles universe, PinkLeaf is practising his parkour.

It’s tranquil here in the lobby, with no one else around. The hosts made a private server for the finalists to practise on, and he’s been getting as much use out of it as possible. Apparently he’s the only one of the finalists with a somewhat healthy sleep schedule, because it’s early morning, and no one’s here. He was under the impression that Kreek and Bella and Denis were also training a lot, so clearly they prefer to train late in the day.

He doesn’t mind that at all. It’s so much easier to focus when no one’s around, when no one’s yelling at him, when no one can disturb his thought process. Plus, he’d rather not have to talk to people in general. Instead all he can hear is the whistle of the wind flowing past him as he leaps through the air from building to building, getting ready to head into some minigames.

He heads back to the centre, not paying attention to anything around him, when a voice cuts through the silence.

“Morning, PinkLeaf. You’re up early.”

Pink turns to the direction of the sound to see Tanqr leaning up against a pillar near the centre of the map. They make eye contact and Tanqr waves, waiting for a response. PinkLeaf waves back and tries to ignore him, but it doesn’t work. 

“Where are you going? C’mere, let’s chat.”

Pink sighs and jumps down to a tree that’s a little bit taller than where Tanqr is standing, trying to keep the high ground, ensuring Tanqr has to look up to talk to him. Tanqr accepts that’s the best he’s going to get. 

“What do you want?” he asks.

“Listen, uh…” Tanqr walks up to the tree and hushes his voice. “Denis and Kreek are making an alliance in the run up to the finals. Don’t blame ‘em, they’re going to need some help to do any good.” he explains, laughing at his own taunts. Pink just finds it annoying. 

“I suppose so.” He’s not really surprised. Kreek’s probably going to try to get all the help he can get to try to beat Tanqr. 

“Those two - and, Bella, I guess - are very much a threat. To both of us.”

“Don’t…imply Bella’s not that good. She is.” Pink interrupts, much to his own surprise. When since did I care about Bella that much? 

“Oh? Didn’t know you two were friendly.” Tanqr raises an eyebrow.

“...We’re not. I’m just saying, don’t…don’t put the others down.”

“Not trying to, just that she’s not who I’m worried might beat us. Kreek’s been gunning for my title, and I’ve seen Denis honing his parkour skills and he’s good at it - he knows that’s your strong point.”

“I think most people know that’s my strong point.” Pink responds. He didn’t mean it as an insult, but Tanqr takes it like one, and he purses his lips.

“Well- anyway-” Tanqr grits his teeth before he puts himself back on track. “Seeing that, I had a thought. Why don’t we get ahead of the game?”

“What do you mean?”

“Here’s my offer. An alliance, of sorts. We work together in the finals to crush the others. You’ll be the speed, I’ll be the manpower. Together we can make up the brains.”

PinkLeaf pauses in shock at the offer, waiting for Tanqr to start laughing and teasing him. It takes a second to realise Tanqr’s being totally serious.

“Are you…asking me to team up?”

“Yeah, obviously.” Tanqr snarks. “I’m going to admit something here, so don’t mock me over it, but you scare me, y’know? Not that much, of course, but…enough. You’re powerful. Where I fail in speed, you make up for it. If I’m not careful, you could beat me. And vice versa. So instead of that…” Tanqr holds his hand out. “Let’s work together. Just you and me against the world, what’dya say?”

Pink doesn’t know what to do. On the one hand, he doesn’t trust anyone easily, let alone Tanqr. He would not be surprised if Tanqr was just using him. But on the other hand, allying with Tanqr would give him a much needed edge, a little confidence boost if someone has his back during the finals. And then again, if Tanqr’s using him to win, surely he can do the same? 

Pink weighs his options. He either risks having Tanqr as a direct enemy, have Tanqr’s sheer strength and brutality poised against him, or he gets to use it to his advantage even if Tanqr turns on him. And if he does, at least he’ll expect it. 

Ah, what the hell. 

“Okay. Sure. I’ll do it.” Pink replies, finally settling on a decision.

“Sweet.” Tanqr smiles widely, in a way that Pink can’t tell if it’s sinister or not. “Uh, take the handshake, make it official.” 

Pink does as he’s told, shaking Tanqr’s hand as quickly as possible. Tanqr chuckles a bit at his reluctance before outlining his plan. 

“You’re free for the next few hours, right?”

“...Yeah.”

“Okay, cool. We can train together then. Stay here, I’ll join you in about fifteen minutes - I need to grab a bite to eat. Haven’t had breakfast yet.” Tanqr turns away from Pink, giving him a wave. “See ya.”

“Oh, uh, bye.” 

Tanqr pulls out his phone, types something in, and he’s gone.

Pink’s alone once again. The call of the wind blows in his ears and he shivers. He hops down from the tree and sits on a railing, contemplating. 

Did he make the right decision? 

[sakustars]

HQ!! BOYS WITH AN S/O IN A BAND

sfw; fluff; established relationships; gn!reader; reader is a drummer in lev’s and a guitarist in atsumu’s

ft: suna, hinata, lev, atsumu, yachi, bokuto

you know how small bands often hire photographers so they can post good pictures on social media for publicity? yeah, suna’s got you covered.

this man makes sure he’s right at the front and centre of every one of your gigs, snapping away, somehow managing to get the best angles and lighting every time.

he shares the photos with you afterwards in the greenroom, pulling you onto his lap and pointing out all his favourites — “you look so pretty leaning back like that, you should do it more often”.

you honestly didn’t know how hinata managed to balance his schedule so well — you could have sworn he had volleyball practice that night, but there he was, hopping about in the crowd.

he did have practice that night.

volleyball was super important to him, but so were you, so as soon as practice finished, he packed his bag as fast as possible and gunned it across town, mach twenty. lets just say the ticket guy was confused why a tiny ginger kid, horribly out of breath, was holding his ticket out to him like it was his only salvation.

what can he say, he’s a die hard fan.

having a tall boyfriend has it’s perks — knowing that lev can see you even though you were right at the back of the stage always boosted your motivation to perform well.

every gig he attended, you would make sure to do a little drumstick flip, just because you knew he thought it was the coolest thing in the world.

and not to mention videos — it was so rare for you to get any good ones, but with his height, lev could catch all your awesome moments, albeit you couldn’t really hear the drums over his excited cheering.

atsumu is determined to learn guitar for you — “we could be one of those cute couples on the internet, doin’ duets an’ shit, serious, babe”.

if you buy him a guitar for dummies book for christmas, expect lots of kisses in return, though prepare for even more whining for you to be the one to teach him.

love love loves when you sit him down to plaster cute hello kitty band aids over the blisters forming on his finger tips, gazing up at you with heart eyes as you scold him — “this could affect your setting you know?” — but you are touched that he would do this all for you.

you don’t need to provide free tickets for yachi — she works part time at the venue your band frequently performs at.

imagine her serving people drinks at the bar, occasionally throwing them off guard as she suddenly yells “yeah baby!” when your solo starts.

almost faints when you blow her a kiss from all the way over on stage, and a fellow coworker has to start fanning her with a dishcloth. it’s worth it though, to see the flustered expression on her face.

bokuto is very conflicted at your gigs. on one hand, he desperately wants to jump around and dance to your music. on the other, he’s very aware how big he is, and doesn’t want to accidentally crush someone.

half the time he can’t even pay attention, profusely apologising to the people behind him for blocking their view, despite them reassuring him multiple times that really, it’s okay.

after your gig has finished, he always manages to find you, picking you up and twirling around, showering you with compliments of how wonderful you are, as you blush at the crowd he’s drawing — some fans pulling out there phones to post about how cute their favourite band member is with their boyfriend.

🪐a/n: reblogs, likes and comments r very appreciated <3

[storiesofsvu]

happy thursday!

 Fuck me I missed the first couple of minutes, got too distracted cooking.. oop

Okay… would it not be SUPER random for the new lieu to just show up in the middle of the night in a crime scene? Ok, she doesn’t know, so maybe there is something weird going on. Still gonna miss kate though.

Howd they get that far into the crime scene and not know she was a prosector?

So brady’s already way more hands on than kate was, and part of me likes that and part of me doesn’t. cause I was always praising kate for being more of what an actual CO would be, trapped in the office with paperwork and bureaucracies rather than running through the field with their detectives. I do think I like brady so far but that could definitely change.  Not sure how the cops feel about that yet either LOL.

Ok well at least they gave us a reason Dixon left… would’ve been nice if we’d gotten that resolution on screen? Like give the actress a .5 second cameo??

Husband is ALWAYS the main suspect. Even if his alibi did check out (though Id still like a little twist…)

Ugh. Still hate price though.

“your girl’s got a bad attitude” bruh. Don’t come or sam, she’ll come for you worse.

Oh calm down Nolan, let your baby ada go a little feral. They all do it over on svu. Sam deserves it

God she’s so friggin pretty….

Shaw needs a bigger bullet proof vest that shit barely protects anything…

Okay so is sam like, going off to cry and not know how to deal with the rest of the case or is she about to go feral??

Well there’s still 20 mins left so maybe a twist is coming? (or at least more with sam which is what I want out of every ep lol)

Was that supposed to be an opening argument? Why was it happening at the end of the day? Im so confused, but hey whatever.

When are we gonna get a piece of Sam’s backstory that ISNT about her sister?

Okay, they EITHER need to show us some more mentor/mentee/sibling growth/relationship between sam & Nolan OR we need to get them both a side character to lean on in difficult moments. Cause rn it just seems weird and a little awkward. Like they work together every day but they never seem that *friendly* towards each other…

Welp. That ep was okay, it had potential to be better but I’ll let it slide lol. Mothership is never my favourite.

*

SVU time!

(man it is SO great to not have to sit through fucking Toronto anymore lol. Will miss OC though..)

Benson picking up the new girl? Oookay. Interesting, interesting, her dad’s a cop, nice background. Honestly I like her already MORE than I did based off just pictures.

Fins guns named after his ex wife or was that lazy writing?? OKAY GOOD! IT WAS A CALLBACK. Thank fuck cause im sick of shit getting forgotten about.

“why do I feel like the captain’s testing me?” said every rookie of the squad ever… like, youre new to the squad, of course she’s gonna keeping you on a leash/making sure you’re actually ready for svu.

I do lowkey like that we jumped into her time on the squad though, she’s already been there for 3 weeks rather than showing us when she originally met the squad, takes off some of the awkwardness/hostility that we usually see (hopefully lol)

Uuggggghhhh “campus security” COME ON. NO. we’ve learnt this already!  (plus I thought they were off campus? Could be wrong lol. I dunno what “off campus housing” technically means lol)

Who says shelly was the one to set it up??

“college is different these days” bruh… really??? Also there’s like 1000 reasons why she wouldn’t mention it, esp to cops lol.

“it possible teddy set up the camera” yeah bud, ive been saying this. Whoever was the first to move in was likely the person who did it.

Bruno looks great this season… just sayin

Okay so shelly really is the one who set up the camera??

Jfc that got out of control fucking fast

“UNY” gotta love how they have to shift specific things to fictional that are actually real things.

He downloaded the threesome and watched it at least six times before possibly heading over to murder them? Imma need a better timeline on all this. Okay, 1 am… the other dude came home at midnight to see the threesome starting. So… when were they killed? Cause this timeline aint timelining but I’ll let it slide due to lazy writing

Okay, I do really like the Silva is one of those true blood nyc-ers, especially being paired w Velasco that balances out really well for their jobs. The bit with the hammer was very old school svu, the whole “hey, that’s okay, we’ll bring you another one, a nicer one, even better I promise” would’ve only been made better if she’d turned to Velasco and said “give him a twenty for his time”. Lool.

Is there gonna be some last minute twist here…

Carisi looks fantastic in the blue suit

I cannot help but laugh on shows that aren’t R/NC rated when they have to show people having sex/doing things that they would obviously be naked for yet because it’s PG they’re all covered with a sheet. Like.. no one has a threesome like that LOL.

Carisi yells too much on the stand…

Glad that we got some nice benson/carisi bestie soft moments tonight. I miss those

Okay…so they’re trying out a new formula with introducing new cast members and I’m curious. Like, she’s already in the title card and has her own credit pic in the opening so she’s obvi here to stay for at least a season, but she was barely in the ep. We got little tidbits about her, got to see her interacting mainly with benson and Velasco, maybe I like that better than the way they normally throw someone new at us the same “day” they’re “meeting” the rest of the squad and going through that awkward rookie phase. It’s been almost a month now, she’s settled in at least a little bit, benson seems super friendly with her, she’s comfortable around benson, she’s cool with Velasco, not afraid to step on toes, but also doesn’t come across super cocky “I know more than you” kinda vibes when new characters pull something fancy out of their asses that no one else can think of kinda thing. I didn’t know how to feel about her from just promo pics cause she lowkey looks like a lost/kicked puppy in the stills but so far she’s giving good vibes.

Episode overall was okay. Not what I would’ve expected from a season premier, but I’ll take what I can get.

Feels weird to be done in 2 hours. Esp considering it’s only 8. I miss OC, mainly Bell. Also interesting that they’ve been filming just as long as the other two but they’re not going to air until next year?? I know streaming does shit differently than network but still. I’m stoked to see who gets the first “fuck” (it better be Ayanna but I’m sure it’s gonna be Elliot. Lol. Would absolutely die if it was Bernie though.)

Alright. Welp. That’s my tidbits on tonight.

Beth/Rita on next week’s OG and that’s both suuuuper fucking exciting and also makes me nervous at the same time. Here’s hoping it ends up well and I’d LOVE to see her and sam get some screen time together.

See ya then!

[burritello3000]

Klance Launch Date

Basically Launch Date, but with Klance instead of Allurance :))))))))

Lance sat at a cafeteria table, absentmindedly stirring his coffee. He didn’t normally drink coffee at this time of day, but he found it helped to calm his nerves. 

Hunk sat down across from him, a smile on his face. “Launching tomorrow. The big day.” Lance zoned out as his best friend continued. “Oh, it seems like it was forever ago when we piled into the Blue Lion and blasted out into space. Man, we had no idea what we were getting into!” 

“Yeah,” Lance agreed, still not really listening.

“But now it’s different,” Hunk said. “We’ve seen it all. We’re rugged veterans now, going back into battle one last time.”

Lance hummed. “Yup.” 

“Guess that makes us heroes or something? … Like the type of heroes that would have their own TV show!” The yellow paladin chuckled, clasping his hands together. “Did you watch it, Lance? Ah, it’s so cool! It’s so cool. They got you spot-on, but Coran is like…” Hunk made a face. “He’s all super serious and stuff. 

“And Allura is a little… I don’t know, she’s different. Keith is friendly!” Hunk laughed like that was the funniest thing he’d ever heard. Keith’s name caught Lance’s attention. “He’s happy all the time. I mean, they got it so wrong.” 

Lance frowned. Keith could be friendly with people he liked! There just… wasn’t a lot of people that he really liked.

Before he could interrupt, Hunk kept talking. “Plus, I think they’re hinting at some romance between him and Allura.”

Lance jumped out of his seat, slamming his hands on the table. “What?! Keith and Allura? No! It should be Keith and Lance!” He sat down, realizing what he’d just said. He lowered his voice. “Uh, I mean it should be Lance and Allura. Saying it should be Keith and Lance would imply that I have a crush on him. Which I don’t… And besides, Keith is gay! Like, everyone knows that.”

His friend raised an eyebrow. “Uh huh, sure. Anyways, a love triangle?” He pointed a finger gun at Lance. “I like where you’re taking this.” 

The blue paladin sighed. “No, no. It’s not about that…” 

“Wait, that’s right. You said you were going to invite Keith to dinner at your house.” Hunk’s voice started to grow louder. “Oh, you asked him, didn’t you? Ah, and he said no. Oh. Oh, man. And here I am, rubbing your face in it. Sorry, buddy—”

Lance cut him off. “Keep your voice down! He didn’t say no. I… Well, I haven’t asked him yet. And I’m scared to…” 

“You chickened out?” 

“I didn’t chicken out!” Lance growled, putting his face in his hands. “I just… My family doesn’t know I’m bisexual. I know they’ll support me,” he added. “But I’ve got a good thing going with Keith right now! We’re finally friends, and I don’t want to ruin that if he doesn’t like me back. Maybe this just isn’t the right time…”

Hunk frowned. “No, Lance. What? It’s the only time. After tomorrow, we’re back in space fighting the Galra. There is no other time, literally. And I can’t believe how oblivious you are!” His voice softened. “Keith has clearly had a crush on you since, like, forever. Also, you two already bicker like an old married couple, so you’re already one step there! You’re asking him today, and that is final, young man.” 

Lance thought about it. Maybe Keith did like him, and he’d just pushed him away with his stupid made up rivalry. “… Thanks, man,” he said, standing up. I’ll ask him after the meeting today!” 

As Lance walked away, he suddenly realized something. Wait… do we really fight like an old married couple?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Keith strood through the hallway, going through his mental checklist. Alright. I’ve packed my stuff. Maybe I should take Kosmo for a walk? Yeah, he would like that. I should also spend some time with Black tonight. I think Kosmo needs a bath. Would Black like a wash, too? Do the Lions even need cleaning? I’ll ask her lat—

“Hey, uh, Keith?” 

He stopped, Lance’s voice cutting through his thoughts. Keith smiled. “Hey, Lance. What’s up?” 

Lance ran up to him, panting. He stopped, leaning over and trying to catch his breath. “Dude, why do you walk so fast?”

“I don’t walk fast. Maybe you’re just slow.”

The blue paladin glared at him, spluttering. “I-I’m not slow, Mullet! I like to stroll. You on the other hand…” Lance ran a hand down his face. “Oh god, we do argue like an old married couple.”

Keith's eyes widened. Had he heard that right? “What?” 

“Nothing!” the Cuban boy yelped, straightening his posture. “Anyways, I was just, uh, checking in. So, how are…  things?” 

“Um.” Lance looked sweaty and nervous. Why is he acting so weird? “Yeah, things are fine. Are you okay?” 

“Oh, yeah, I’m good,” Lance said. He put his hands behind his back. “Just, are you busy tonight?” 

Keith bit his lip. “Well, I was thinking about giving Kosmo a walk and a bath. Why?”

“O-Oh, um,” the blue paladin stammered. “If you’re busy, it’s nothing.” 

Lance looked so downcast. Keith’s heart felt like it was being squeezed. He didn’t like seeing a frown on his friend’s face. “But, Kosmo can wait,” Keith said, trying to salvage the situation. “What did you have in mind?” 

Lance clasped his hands together. “Um, actually, I was wondering…” Keith’s pulse quickened. A little part of his mind whispered ‘Is Lance going to ask me out on a date?’ Woah, where did that come from? The blue paladin continued. “If, maybe, if you want to, you could have dinner with me tonight?”

A weird feeling warmed his heart, and he found himself blushing. “A-And my family,” Lance said. “Dinner with me and my family? My mom’s cooking for our last night together. I-I just thought you could join us.” 

Keith pretended to think for a moment. “Will there be the famous garlic knots I have heard so much about?”

Lance nodded, looking sad again. “Yeah. I’ll ask her to make them, she usually does.” 

“Lance!” Keith grabbed his hand. “I was just joking. Of course I’ll come.” He suddenly hesitated. “You’re… asking me out on a date, right?”

The blue paladin blushed, looking down at their intertwined hands. “Yes, I am. I really like you, Keith.” 

He let go of Lance’s hand, suddenly feeling self-conscious. “I really like you too, Lance. Sorry I was such a jerk when we first met. I’m not good with people.” He was already nervous about meeting Lance’s big family. “And I can take Kosmo, too. You’re an uncle, right? There should be kids?” 

Lance gave him a big smile. “Yeah, Silvio and Nadia would love Kosmo!”

There was a few seconds of awkward silence as they stared at each other. Keith started to chew on his lip again. How do boyfriends-who-aren’t-officially-boyfriends-because-they-haven’t gone-on-a-date-yet act around each other? 

Lance also looked unsure. Thankfully, Hunk saved them. He came up and put a hand on Lance’s shoulder, slowly pulling him away. “Okay, Loverboy Lance. Now walk away before he changes his mind.” 

Keith tried not to snicker at the nickname. He watched them go, a dreamy smile spreading unknowingly across his face. I can’t believe I finally have a date with Lance! He had actually had a crush on him at the Garrison long ago, but Lance had always thought there was a rivalry between them, so they never got close.

“Ohoho,” someone purred behind him, startling him out of his thoughts. “Finally! I thought for sure he would never ask you.”

The red paladin whipped around. He was met by a sneaky smile and glittering brown eyes. He tried not to sigh. “Hello, Rizavi.”

The girl took a step back. “Call me Nadia. Oh, I’ve been waiting for one of you to ask the other out. I literally cannot believe how oblivious you both are.”

Keith frowned. “What? Me and Lance? How did you know?”

“It’s hard not to notice with all the romantic tension between you two.”

“W-What?” he spluttered. “We don’t have any romantic tension! What are you talking about?”

“Um, yes you do.” She gestured at him. “There’s tons of it. Well, not right now, since he asked you out to dinner.” 

“Were you listening to our whole conversation?” Keith hissed. 

Nadia flipped her hair over her shoulder. “Yeah, pretty much. And I saw your face. You seem like a guy that’s pretty socially challenged. Which means you’ll probably need help choosing what to wear!” 

“What’s wrong with my usual outfit?” Keith asked, feeling slightly embarrassed. He had been planning to wear what he usually wore instead of his uniform or armor.

She scoffed. “Everything. You need something more fancy, and I’m your gal. We could go shopping!” 

“No,” he said. “I can handle this myself.” 

“No you can’t.” She wagged a finger at him. “I’m going to help you, but we need more input. I was thinking we can grab Allura?” Nadia’s eyes suddenly sparkled with concern. “She’s been spending all her time in the Med Bay lately. It’d be good for her to get out.” 

Keith crossed his arms. “… Fine. But only if Allura agrees.”

Nadia rubbed her hands together, an evil look on her face. “We need more opinions… and I know just the people to bring along.” 

Keith was starting to regret his decision.

----------------------------------------------------

Nadia’s first target was Allura. They headed to her usual place, the Med Bay. Allura and Romelle were looking through the window, watching the unconscious Altean. They were whispering to each other softly.

“Hey!” Nadia called, jogging up to the pair. “Allura! Romelle!” Keith followed her quickly. 

The two Alteans looked up. “Rizavi,” Allura said. “Hello. What is it?” 

“Keith has a date with Lance!” Nadia squealed. “And we were thinking that you could help us pick out his outfit!”

Allura simply frowned. “That sounds wonderful, but I can’t. I’m sorry, but we must keep an eye on Luca.” Her gaze strayed back to the window. “She could wake up any day now.”

“Pleeeaaaase, Allura.” Nadia’s eyes were wide and pleading. “It would be good for you to get out, and we could really use your help. Right, Keith?” 

She grabbed his arm, pulling him forward. He shot a glare at the obnoxious girl. “Yes, Allura, I could use your help. Because apparently I have no fashion sense.”

“Hmm,” Allura hummed, looking unsure. “I should really stay here…”

Romelle put a hand on her friend's shoulder. “Allura, I know you’re worried about Luca, but we’re worried about you. It’ll be good to get away for a night and clear your head.” They stared at each other for a few seconds, a soft look on both their faces. 

Is that how me and Lance look when talking about each other? Keith wondered.

“Okay, lovebirds,” Nadia interrupted, crossing her arms. “Don’t worry, Romelle can come too.”

Allura raised an eyebrow. “Love… birds? Wait…” Her cheeks darkened. “What! W-We don’t— We’re not. Ugh, fine. Maybe taking a break is a good idea.”

Nadia clapped her hands. “Perfect! I’ll get Ina too, but right now, I know just the person to ask!” 

----------------------------------------------------

Pidge was next. He followed Nadia, as she entered the ship’s greenhouse, Allura and Romelle right behind him. “Hey, Pidge. Do you have a sec?” 

She looked up from her tablet, putting it down. “Sure. What’s up?” 

Beezer was suddenly looking very interesting right now. Keith busied his attention on the little robot. Nadia smiled. “Well, Keith has—”

Romelle butted in, her voice shrill with excitement. “A date… with pointy chin!”

“Wait.” Pidge’s eyes widened in surprise. “A date? With Lance?” Beezer squealed, an exclamation mark on his screen. “Weird. Well, I’m glad you guys worked it out.”

“It’s not weird,” he muttered in protest. 

Nadia ignored him, clasping her hands together with excitement. “And we were thinking, you could help us choose Keith’s outfit!” 

Colleen laughed from a few rows over, her eyes still on her screen. “Katie? Fashion? That’s a good one.” 

Pidge glared at her mom, then hugged her tablet to her chest. “Well, I heard the mall has reopened. I’ve been wanting to check it out,” her golden-brown eyes flicked towards Colleen, “but I’m grounded.” 

“Grounded?” Romelle asked, sounding confused. “I wasn’t aware humans could float.” 

Keith sighed. “No, Romelle, we can’t float. It just means that Pidge isn’t allowed to go anywhere without her mom’s supervision. It’s a punishment.” 

“What are you grounded for?” Allura questioned, her eyebrows furrowed.

Colleen spoke up, not even looking up from her tablet. “She’s grounded because apparently my daughter thinks that running away from home and gallivanting off into space without her mother’s permission is an acceptable activity for a fifteen year old.” 

There was a moment of silence as the green paladin hunched her shoulders. She then turned around and started yelling at her mom. “Well, apparently, finding my brother and saving my father from an intergalactic space tyrant doesn’t get me a pass!” 

Colleen’s eyes glimmered as she replied. “Not on your life, young lady.” 

Beezer beeped, panicked, and ran out of the room. Keith was tempted to do the same. The air literally crackled with tension as the two stared each other down. He winced. He could see where Pidge got her ruthlessness from. 

Romelle hid behind Allura as Nadia tried to calm the situation. “Please, Mrs. Holt, we could really use her help.” 

“We will not let her leave the ground once,” Romelle added.

Pidge’s mother studied them, one eyebrow raised. After a moment of silence, she closed her eyes. “All right.” She glanced at her daughter. “But only because I know how much Katie hates shopping for clothing.” 

Pidge let out a low growl as Keith pulled on her arm to lead her out of the room. “Thank you, Colleen. And humans don’t float,” he grumbled to Romelle as she passed him.

----------------------------------------------------

There were a lot of people at the mall. More than Keith had expected. The entire mall was actually bigger than he had thought it was going to be. To be honest, Keith had never really been to an actual mall before. There were too many people, and he’d basically been living alone in a shack for a good chunk of his life, so there was no need to go to one.

There were aliens and humans alike shopping everywhere. They had grabbed Ina, and everyone had changed into their normal clothes before heading out. 

Nadia put her hands on her hips, turning to the five of them. “Okay. ‘Operation Find Keith a Date Outfit’ is go! We’re going to take it one store at a time until we come out of this place successful.” She pointed out to the mall. “Let the hunt begin!”

Keith smirked as they started to make their way around. An operation, huh? We’re going to need a battle strategy…

He smashed a fist against the inside of his palm, cracking his fingers. “All right, team. We need a plan. Leifsdotter, Rizavi, Pidge, you three take the north side. Me, Allura, and Romelle will cover the south. Then, if yo—”

“Oh, Keith,” Nadia sighed, looking over her shoulder at him with a tsk. “Sweet, naive, beautiful, Keith. Haven’t you ever been shopping before? We can’t split up.” 

His face turned red. “I’ve been clothes shopping! I’ve just… only done it by myself.” 

“Suuure,” Pidge drawled from next to him. “Anyways, Rizavi is right. We need your opinion on everything, so we can’t split up.” 

Keith's shoulders slumped. I hate shopping. Allura and Romelle led the pack, whispering quietly to each other. Ina and Nadia walked in front of him and Pidge. They were talking loudly. Mostly Nadia.

As they walked past a stall, Pidge suddenly stopped, rushing back to the stall and crouching down. “Killbot Phantasm 26: Revengifiance! This is out?” Her voice was shrill with excitement.

Nadia joined her, her mouth gaping open with shock. “Oh my gosh! It came out just a few days before the Galra invaded. No one was ever able to reach the end!” 

Keith rolled his eyes. “That’s right,” the stall owner said, his voice soft. “I have one of the few undamaged units left.”

“WE’LL TAKE IT!” Pidge and Nadia yelled, leaning in close. 

The poor seller gave them a nervous look, glancing back and forth. “Okay. Great to meet such passionate KBP fans. What have you got to trade?”

There were a few beats of silence. “Trade?” Pidge said, her voice small. She looked at Rizavi, then looked back at them.

Keith groaned and facepalmed as Ina showed them her empty pockets. Did we really forget to bring money? Or something to trade? Now how will we get something for me to wear for our date? That actually upset him more than he had expected. 

“I-I, uh…,” Pidge stammered. “I don’t… really have anything.” 

He really wanted to punch the easygoing smile off of the shopkeeper’s face. “I’m sorry, but no trade, no game.” 

His friend groaned in defeat, lowering her head. Keith took a step forward. Maybe he could negotiate. Maybe trade his jacket or belt? 

Before he could get closer to them, Nadia stood up, gesturing to Pidge. “Well, that’s some way to treat a Paladin of Voltron.” 

The stall owner’s eyes widened. “Wait, what? You mean, like, from the show?”

“Show? Well, kind of,” Pidge said. “It was based off me.” She glanced back at Keith. “And him.” 

“My kid loves that show!” the man said, leaning back. “The game is yours if I could just get an autograph for my daughter.” 

Pidge shot up, a strange smile on her face. “Sure thing!” she exclaimed in a higher, squeakier voice. “Anything for the kids!” 

She pulled out a pencil from nowhere and drew a mini version of her face on a paper the man handed her. She gave the paper to him. “Come on, Keith! Autograph time!”

Keith reluctantly took the pencil and wrote his name in big, blocky letters. She snatched the paper and gave it back to the man, in exchange for the video game. 

As Pidge turned around, she flashed him a sneaky smile, an evil glint in her eyes. They proceeded to go around, trading stuff for his and Pidge’s autographs. Soon, the green paladin had traded enough clothes to dress up as her character in the show. She had even tried to get Keith to wear a costume too, but he had loudly disagreed.

----------------------------------------------------

Lance took a deep breath. This was fine, everything was fine. He wouldn’t get mad at him for asking Keith out. 

He entered the bridge, clearing his throat. “Uh, Shiro?”

The captain of the Atlas paused, looking up from his screen. “Yes, Lance?” 

“Could I, uh, talk to you?”

“Sure. In private, or…”

“Y-Yeah. In private, thanks.” 

Shiro nodded, stepping down from his captain spot and coming up to Lance. The blue paladin led him down the hall and to his room, nervously fidgeting.

“Alright, Lance,” Shiro said as the door slid shut behind him. “What do you need?” 

He rubbed the back of his neck. “Um, it’s about Keith.” He kept going before Shiro could interrupt. “I know that Krolia is his actual mother but you’re like a father or big brother to him.”

“Lan—”

“And please don’t get mad at me, but I asked him out on a date and I just wanted you to know about it.”

“Lance—”

“I also wanted advice about what to do because you know him better than I do an—”

“Lance!” Shiro yelled, cutting him off. “Lance, calm down. I’m not mad.”

He wet his lips nervously. “… You aren’t?”

“No.” Shiro smiled. “Quite the opposite. I’m glad you guys worked it out. I was hoping you would before we left.”

“Oh,” Lance murmured. Are we really that obvious? “Okay, cool. Cool. So, can you give me any advice? Like what does he like? I invited him to dinner with my family, but now I’m not sure.” He started rambling. “We could probably do something after. Like take a walk, maybe? No, that’s not good enough. Who am I kidding! Nothing I could come up with is good enough for Keith Kogane! He deserves the best, and I don’t—”

“Lance!” Shiro put a steady hand on his shoulder, grounding him. “If Keith is going out with you, it’s because he likes you.”

Lance sighed. “I know, but—”

“No,” Shiro stopped him. “No, buts. Keith likes you for you. So the best advice I can give is to be yourself.” His gaze suddenly darkened. “Just… be patient with Keith. He’s been hurt before, and isn’t used to being loved. And if you hurt him, I’ll have some choice words for you.”

Lance held up his hands. “Okay, okay, should have expected the shovel talk. Don’t worry, I won’t hurt him.” He poured all his emotion into those few words. “And I won’t let anyone hurt him ever again.” 

Shiro smiled again, ruffling his hair. “Good. Everything will be fine. Now go get ready, Loverboy Lance.”

----------------------------------------------------

The group was walking around some more, laden with bags full of junk that they had bought. Rizavi suddenly stopped them in front of a store. “Oh, I’ve got a good feeling about this place. Keith, leave this to me. Ladies, divide and conquer!”

Pidge sat in the corner, reading a comic book, while Allura and Romelle looked at the shiny jewelry. He followed Nadia as she started browsing, looking through the men’s clothes. “You’re the last person I would trust to pick an outfit,” Keith grumbled. 

She flipped her hair over her shoulder. “You’ll just have to deal with it sweetheart.” 

He ignored her, turning around to a rack of assorted clothing. They spent a few minutes searching. He picked up a cool black jacket with crimson highlights. It probably wasn’t fancy enough. 

Ina and Nadia ran up to him, mischievous looks on their faces. The black-haired girl started pushing him towards the dressing rooms. “Keith! Try on these outfits!”

As soon as he looked at the outfits they had chosen, he knew they were all wrong, but he decided to humor them. Nadia had picked out a yellow and white sporty outfit for him. “Ta da!” she yelled, showing it off. Ina, Allura, Romelle, and Pidge all gave it a dubious look. Keith silently agreed with them.

Ina had picked out a really baggy light red and white suit, with short white pants. That one got the same reaction as before. 

Romelle’s choice was almost indescribable, and not in a good way. It was super colorful and looked like she had grabbed random things and thrown them together. His patience was starting to wear thin.

Same reaction. Allura smiled and gave her an encouraging thumbs up. “Good try, Romelle!” Pidge facepalmed.

The green paladin’s outfit was the same thing Keith’s character wears in the new show. He had refused to even try it.

He hoped Allura’s outfit was better. She had always seemed the most fashionable out of all of them. It was the best out of all the others so far. She had chosen a white dress shirt with a red tie and black slacks. 

As he stepped out, Nadia’s eyes sparkled. “Wow, Allura! That looks amazing! It really suits you, Keith.”

He shrugged. “Yeah, it looks good. Thanks, Allura, but… something feels off. One second.” 

Keith got to work, going through the aisles and grabbing items that he had seen earlier. He went back into the dressing room. He came out again, enjoying the looks on everyone’s faces. 

Nadia sighed happily, putting her hands on her hips. “I think we’ve done it.” 

“More like I did it,” Keith corrected. “And Allura. Thanks again.” 

The princess smiled. “My pleasure. Shall we go?”

They went up to the counter and set the clothes down. The four-armed alien turned around giving them a pleasant smile. “Why, hello there. Is this everything?” Keith frowned. Something felt off about this guy. He didn’t trust him. 

“Yep,” Rizavi said. “Mission complete!” 

The alien held up a calculator in one hand, and looked through the clothes with another. “Let’s see, what have we got?” He cracked his knuckles and went to work punching numbers in. “Two decorative tarps with casing, one foot container and its mirror match, and a pair of damaged leg coverings. That’ll be… one phoeb of servitude from your small friend there.”

Nadia’s eyes grew to the size of golfballs. “What? A year?” 

“A month,” Pidge said, glancing back at her. “I got this.” She spun around, ruffling up her hair to look like her character, and turned back to the counter, putting on her nasally voice. “How about you give us all this and I give you an autograph from a world-famous Paladin of Voltron.” Her eyes sparkled convincingly.

The alien had a confused, and slightly disgusted, look on his face, an eyebrow raised. “No! Price just went up to three phoebs.”

Pidge took a step back as Allura spoke up. “I could give you a royal decree of service from the Crown Princess of Alte—” She suddenly stopped, and looked at the ground with a sigh. “Oh, right, I, um…” 

Romelle gave her concerned look, then clasped her hands together. “I can make you a deca-phoebs’ worth of blomfruit pies! I just need blomfruits. You wouldn’t happen to sell any, would you?” 

“Shipping will cost you ten phoebs of servitude alone!” the alien yelled, leaning forward. 

Keith scowled at the alien behind the counter, putting a hand on Allura’s shoulder. “Maybe this was a bad idea. I don’t need the clothes. Let’s just go.” If he was being honest, he really wanted the clothes. They looked good and made him feel good, but he wasn’t going to put up with this shopkeeper any longer.

He turned around and started to walk away, everyone following him. The four-armed alien suddenly gasped. “Wait!” he called, reaching out towards them. “I’ll give you a friendly deal. You can have all this… for Killbot Phantasm 26: Revengifiance.” Pidge’s eyes widened with surprise. 

“No deal!” Nadia growled, narrowing her eyes. “What could you possibly need it for?” 

“I’ve been looking to get my claws on that game for deca-phoebs.” A slightly dreamy expression appeared on his face. “I’m a huge KBP fan.” 

He noticed the thoughtful way Pidge was looking at the game. As Rizavi vehemently denied his offer, Keith put an arm around his friend’s shoulder. “It’s okay, Pidge. I don't need them. This guy is shady anyways.” He pushed down his reluctance at giving up the clothes. 

She shook her head, holding it out to the alien. “It’s fine. You can have it. We don’t have any time to play it anyway.” 

As she turned around, Keith, who was usually not one for physical touch, bent down and hugged her. “Thank you,” he whispered in her ear. 

He let her go, and Pidge gave him a happy smile and a thumbs up. “Anytime. Now, let’s get you ready!”

----------------------------------------------------

Keith hesitantly rang the doorbell, trying to smooth down his hair for the tenth time. Even after Rizavi tried tackling it with a hairbrush and gel, it still stuck up defiantly. It was fine though, Keith liked it this way.

Komso brushed against him reassuringly. He ruffled the wolf’s mane affectionately, and straightened as the front door swung open. 

Standing on the other side was a woman. Keith could immediately tell this was Lance’s mother. They both had the same bright smile and chocolate-brown hair. 

“Come in, come in, my dear!” she said. Even though he was bad at reading people, Keith detected a slight strain in her voice. She looked over her shoulder, swinging the door open wider. “Oh, you look wonderful! Doesn’t he look wonderful, Lance?”

Lance, who had been walking down the stairs, paused, his mouth gaping. “Wow!” he breathed, his eyes sparkling. “You look amazing.”

Keith glanced away, blushing. He nervously ran a hand through his hair, messing it up again. Rizavi would be so mad right now. 

He brushed a piece of Kosmo’s fur off his sweater. He had picked out a loose red sweater to put on over the white dress shirt Allura had found, with ripped black jeans and black combat boots to complete the look.

“Thanks,” Keith said, meeting Lance’s eyes. The Cuban boy was wearing a tight white sweater with gray arms that looked adorable on him. “You look good, too.”

Lance smirked, making his way down the stairs and stopping in front of him. “Wow, a rare compliment by the amazing Keith Kogane. Who would have thought it was possible?” 

“Remind me why I like you again?” Keith asked teasingly, crossing his arms. 

Kosmo chuffed in greeting, bounding up to Lance. The blue paladin kneeled on the ground, allowing the wolf to jump up and lick his face. “Hey, buddy!” He laughed as Kosmo licked his cheek again, his tail wagging. God, who given this boy the right to look so damn cute. Lance looked up. “Maybe it’s because of my charming personality and dashing looks?”

“No, it’s because Kosmo likes you. Otherwise, you’d be kicked off the team.”

Lance’s face darkened, but it was so quick that maybe he had imagined it. “Yeah, yeah, I know.” He stood up, putting a hand on the woman’s shoulder. “Anyways, Keith, this is my mom and Pop-pop.” He went through everyone, pointing at each person as he named them. “You know Veronica. That’s Rachel, my brother Marco, my other brother Luis, his wife Lisa, and their kids, Silvio and Nadia.” 

The two kids weren’t even looking at him, their eyes were fixed on Kosmo. “Puppy!” the little girl shrieked. 

Luis put a hand on Nadia’s shoulder, a nervous look on his face. “I knew you were bringing your pet, but… is it safe?”

Keith tried not to frown, instead forcing a smile. “Yes,” he said through gritted teeth. “Kosmo may be a space wolf, but he is well trained.” Kosmo gave him a look like ‘Seriously?’ At least he hoped he was. 

“Don’t worry, guys,” Lance said, reaching down and patting the wolf’s head. “Kosmo is pretty chill.” 

Luis let go of Nadia’s shoulder, and with that, the young girl ran up to Kosmo, throwing her arms around him. “Good puppy!” 

The wolf sat patiently, his tail thumping on the ground as Nadia ran her fingers through his fur. Silvio slowly approached them, holding out his hand. Kosmo stood up, Nadia still practically hanging on him, and sniffed the boy’s hand. The space wolf licked his hand, making him giggle.

Rachel was giving him a suspicious look, but didn’t say anything. Now that Keith thought about it, everyone looked slightly uncomfortable. Is it because I’m a boy? he wondered. Did Lance’s family not know that he is bi? As the children started to play with Kosmo, Lance grabbed his hand. “Come on, Keith! Let’s go set the table.”

He allowed Lance to lead him to the dining room, a light blush dusting across his cheeks. They set the table, talking and laughing. His heart fluttered everytime Lance brushed against him.

They joined everyone in the living room after setting the table as Lance’s mother and Pop-pop went to the kitchen to finish dinner. The tension that Keith had noticed disappeared throughout the evening. 

The kids had fun playing with Kosmo, who was preening under all the attention, and all of Lance’s family was really nice. Even Rachel eventually warmed up to him. 

At one point, Nadia had run up to him and Lance, a curious expression on her face. “Uncle Lance, you’re a boy, and Keith is a boy, but you’re in love, right?”

They exchanged an awkward glance. “Yeah, kiddo,” Lance eventually said, ruffling her hair. “Why?”

She had a thoughtful look on her face. “So, is it okay if a girl likes a girl?”

“Of course.” Lance smiled. “Anyone can like anyone they want to.” 

“Okay!” Nadia said, her face lighting up. “Thanks, Uncle Lance!” 

Keith’s heart felt warm as he watched her run off. 

----------------------------------------------------

When dinner was ready, they sat at the table, Lance pulling out Keith’s chair for him and sitting next to him. A headache that had started to plague him was chased away by the sensation of Lance holding his hand under the table. 

The food was really good, especially the garlic knots. Even Kosmo had gotten bits of food slipped under the table from Silvio and Nadia. Eventually, Lance’s family started to tell embarrassing stories about his childhood. 

“Or the time when we were kids,” Marco was saying, twiddling with his fork. “And Veronica mixed dirt with water and told Lance it was chocolate milk.” Keith chuckled along with everyone else, enjoying the annoyed look on his boyfriend’s face. Woah, when had he started thinking of Lance as his boyfriend?

“Oh, yeah!” Veronica exclaimed. “I still can’t believe he fell for it.”

Keith shook his head. “Oh God, I’m dating an idiot. What did he do?” The strange tension from before suddenly flooded the room again. Why did I say that?!

Lance blushed at his words as his sister continued. “He told on me, of course. Then Pop-pop gave him ice cream and I got none.”

“Yeah, Lance was always the baby of the family,” Marco said, a gleam in his eyes. “It only took you coming to dinner to graduate him to the adult table.” 

Keith could feel Rachel’s eyes glaring daggers into his back. He put a smirk on his face. “That’s not surprising.”

Lance squawked in protest. “What?! What’s that supposed to mean, babe?”

He couldn’t help but blush at the nickname. That meant Lance wanted to be boyfriends, too. They would talk about it later. 

Keith put his head on his boyfriend’s shoulder. “You know exactly what I mean, Lance.”

After he sat up straight again, there was a beat of awkward silence. Then, Lance’s mother spoke up. 

Her next words were kind, but for some reason, it made Keith’s mental hackles raise. “Lance never brings girls, or boys, home. You must really mean something to him.”

Girls, or boys… 

“That’s strange.” Keith had meant the words to be teasing, but they came out sharper than intended. “Lance gave off the impression of being really popular with women.” 

There was an even longer moment of silence, only the kids still obliviously talking. 

Then Veronica rose, clearing her throat. She held up a glass of water. “A toast… to family. Though we may be apart after tomorrow, we’ll always remain close at heart. Family is forever.” She glanced at him, her eyes raking over the table. “And to Keith, the newest member of our family.” 

Everyone held up their glasses. “To family!”

He put down his glass, staring into the water. Family… Keith had never really had a permanent family before. His father had died when he was young, and his mother had left. He now knew why Krolia had to leave, but it still didn’t change the past. Then Shiro had become his father figure. Then he had also left, presumed dead on the Kerberos mission. 

Then the paladins had come, and he had felt like part of a family again. Pidge had felt like a little sister. Hunk the big brother he had never had. Coran had turned into the weird, crazy uncle. Allura had become almost like a mother, and now their sister. Lance… Lance didn’t really have a family title in Keith’s eyes. Now he knew it was because he had a crush on the blue paladin. 

Even with Krolia back, Keith still felt like he was missing something. Maybe it had come from visiting his father’s grave when they came back to earth? Or maybe it was seeing Lance, Hunk, and Pidge with their families… Another reminder that he would never fit in.

Keith stayed quiet the rest of the evening. After it was over, he thanked Lance’s mother for the wonderful dinner, and said a quick goodbye to Lance. Then, the moment he was out of sight, had Kosmo teleport him back to the Garrison.

After getting back, he made his way to the lions, Kosmo following him. He sat on Black’s head, stroking the wolf’s fur. Since it was summer, the sun was going down later, allowing Keith to catch the last of its rays as it dipped below the horizon. 

The wolf suddenly teleported out from under his fingers, a rush of cold air greeting his hand. He sighed. Even Kosmo doesn’t want to hang out with me right now…

A few seconds later, Kosmo appeared. He had a passenger. The wolf gave him a pointed look before disappearing again.

Lance sat there, blinking in confusion. “Wha— Oh, hey, Keith.”

“Hey, Lance,” he muttered, avoiding eye contact. 

“Sooo,” Lance said. “You’re watching the sunset?”

“Yeah…”

There was a few seconds of silence, before they both spoke at the same time. 

“I’m sorry for ruining your dinner!”

“I’m sorry for being a bad boyfriend!” 

Keith was the first to speak. “What? You’re not a bad boyfriend! Why would you even think that, Lance?”

The blue paladin scowled. “Oh, I don’t know, maybe because I forced you into having dinner with my family? And what about you? You didn’t ruin anything, Keith!” 

“Yes, I did,” he bit out. “My very presence ruined it! It’s obvious that your family doesn’t want us dating. They probably want a future daughter-in-law. Not a son.”

He didn't look at Lance. “… What?” The boy’s voice was confused. “Keith… it’s not you. My family loves you. Everyone wouldn’t shut up about it afterwards.” He finally turned to look. Lance’s eyes were soft. “It was my fault. I only told them I was bi and that I had invited my boyfriend to dinner only after I had asked you. They aren’t against us, they just still need to get used to me dating a boy.” He grabbed his hands. “Keith, you didn’t do anything wrong. You are fucking amazing. It was my fault. It’s always my fault…”

Keith squeezed his hands in return, concern for his boyfriend washing over him. “What do you mean, Lance?”

“You know what I mean.” His voice was surprisingly bitter. “I can never get things right. I’d be amazed if you even considered going on another date with me. I just keep messing up. I’m not a good paladin, I’m not a good friend, and I’m definitely not a good boyfriend.”

It hurt Keith to hear the usually bright, funny boy talk about himself that way. He grabbed his shoulders. “Lance, that’s not true.”

He shook him off. “It’s true and you know it. Nobody needs me, I’m expendable. And I don’t want to—”

“Lance!” Keith grabbed his shoulders again, leaning in so close that their lips were almost brushing against each other. “Shut the fuck up.” Then, he kissed him.

Lance immediately buried his fingers in Keith’s hair, letting out a little gasp as their lips met. Keith’s hands trailed down to the blue paladin’s hips. One hand rested on his thigh, while the other wrapped around his waist.

They pulled away after a few seconds, resting their foreheads together. “You’re not expendable, Lance,” Keith breathed, reaching up to cup his face in his hands. “You’re amazing. You're loving. You’re kind. You’re sweet. You’re funny. You’re important, to your family, and to me. 

“I swear, Lance. We’re going to end this war, and we’ll do it with the Lance that’s the Paladin of the Red Lion. The Lance that’s always got my back. And the Lance who knows exactly who he is and what he’s got to offer.”  

Lance played with his hair. “How am I supposed to one-up that speech? And who knew you were such a sap, Mullet? Speaking of which, your hair is really soft.” Keith snorted with laughter as he continued. “Keith… I know this is our first date, but I love you.” 

“I love you too, Lance.” Raw emotion filled his voice. “With all my fucking heart.” 

Lance pulled him into another kiss as the sun sank below the horizon.

[madam-melon-meow]

Are you interested in a humanstuck/monsterstuck no sburb au? Do you slowburn Pepsicola and Vriskan? Does 300k+ words sound like heaven? Have i got a fic for you!

"Dave, are you alright?" Kanaya asked. He looked at her, snapping his finger-guns and smirking.

"You know me, I'll be cool as a cucumber. A little forest fire can't cramp my style." He flashed a glance towards John, who was still standing near Tavros, accepting a congratulations from Gamzee. "John might be a little rattled though."

"Worried John's sick bars will attract Gamzee's attention?" She teased, waggling her brows exaggeratedly. "I have to say, it was fascinating to watch the two of you get so passionate about the art form. Probably for the best you decided to battle via proxy, as the heat might have gotten a tad too intense if you and Gamzee had gone toe-to-toe once more."

"You should leave the matchmaking to your shipping friend," he responded, shaking his head. "Gamzee ain't my type. Too lanky, for one thing, what with all the shapeshifter noodling the dude likes to do. And, he makes me too squeamish. Makes it hard to get to know the guy." Hell yeah, played that off great.

Kanaya laughed knowingly. "I suppose you prefer your amorous targets to have a bit more substance to their form, hmmm?" She gestured loosely in John's direction, the motion unfocused. "A certain strapping young lad, a long-time friend to boot, seems to fit your specifications to a T."

Oh fuck. How did she know?!? He kept that shit on lock, he was absolutely certain of it. He couldn't risk letting his feelings slip. John still called Rose a homosexual, there was no way he'd ever be interested in him.

"Did Vriska feed you some hella illegal gossip from spying on my brain?" He blurted out, remembering the vampire's supposed powers, and the hells of non-platonic thoughts he'd had for John while crawling towards him on the Egbert's kitchen floor, which he'd done in full view of her. Stupid .

"I knew it ," Kanaya exclaimed triumphantly. "And no, Vriska hasn't said a thing. I used my sibling powers to ascertain the obvious, if I might be quite frank."

"Man, I liked it better when we were joking about me liking Gamzee," he muttered. "At least I'd have a chance if I was actually into the guy."

Get him to shapeshift into John, an intrusive thought stabbed into Dave's brain. He repressed it- coolly.

"What, you don't think you'd have a chance with John?" She asked, a little too loudly for a sober person. He winced, squirming at the question, not ready to lay it all bare and justify the mental hoops he'd been jumping through every time he thought about it. Especially not at a party full of people who probably had super-hearing.

"Kanaya, he doesn’t even know I’m bi, if we’re being real, I'm a double-edged sword and all- but I got a sheathe." he replied, exasperated. "I’m pretty sure he thinks Vriska is the coolest thing since ice pops- hell, you might have some competition if you aren't careful."

"Wha- competition?!? " She sputtered, her face flushing. "What the hell are you talking about?"

Now he had the upper hand. He snickered, rolling his eyes. "Sibling powers. Duh. You keep making moon eyes at her. Big ass fucking goo-goo-ga-ga-mommy-give-me-milky shit, but, y'know, blood instead of milk." He gestured at the vampire, who was chatting with the dudes rocking animal limbs. "She’s not so bad, aside from morally, if you're waiting for your big bro’s blessing."

Will Kanaya finally make a move? Read The Good, The Bad, and The Alternative to find out!

[helluva-dump]

Hey guys… so I wanna take a break from critiquing Viv and just want to share some art for fun.

Though, I’m actually nervous to. Because part of it is mainly gonna be oc x canon stuff as well as ummm… writing dark headcanons of stories of certain characters….

So I had want to tackle the serious topic oc co*rcion similar to blitzo and Stolas, but it involves one of my ocs. But I also wanna talk about purity culture, it’s harm, and I’m basically wanting to do my take of Heaven and headcanons I have for it.

And ummm these dark headcanons I have involve Adam… yes admittly I thought the idea of Adam being the leader of the executioners was extremely stupid and the leaks I’ve seen were eh… But let’s just say he somehow warmed up to me and I found a way to make him slightly intimidating.

Actually my friend @samiliy4me has been doing headcanons and ideas of Adam and we’ve done a lot of roleplays and omg… the way she writes him is so sinister yet fun. We’ve done roleplays of him with our Angel ocs and it’s been giving me content to do things with my Angel oc

She also did amazing headcanons for Mammon and keeps him an asshole in our roleplays which also gives me content for my hellhound oc.

Now that being said with things concerning Adam, my main thing with him is to criticize toxic masculinity within Christianity and all the Republican Christins that use religion to harm others. While my Angel girl and others badly want to help restore heaven with the New Testament. I’ve been watching history of Christianity and how is slowly because something republicans used for evil (when it wasn’t always like that )

So yeah… I may touch on a sensitive topic with Adam and one of my ocs… but here’s the thing, I am NO WAY gonna romanticize this relationship. Some of this is based on personal experience to help me cope with trauma.

And I know how many antis in the critical blog tend to act like babies over things like this.🙄 Thing is I get it, Viv doesn’t know how to properly discuss this topic without separating her n*nc*n kink. Besides, he’s not even the oc I’m gonna have my Angel end up with.

But I’m also scared shitless of the fandom taking mine and a friend’s take on Adam super personal because me and her refuse to sugarcoat him or do draco in leatherpants. Like the idea of him fascinates us and I rather actually write him being A villain Same with Mammon since we refuse to woobify them.

Now don’t get angry fandom…. I actually may redesign Adam…. BECAUSE GOOD LORD HE IS A PAIN TO DRAW. THIS IS WHY FANS REDESIGN. ITS NOT ALWAYS IF MALICE ITS JUST HARD TO DRAW SOME DESIGNS. I’m gonna do the same for Lute since she also looks tedious.

I won’t change to much of his design but I may change his horns and give him some skull mask.

Also I’m gonna make Bee into a bug/canine hybrid and make her be a princess while her mom is the actual queen since I love that idea Lovearts made.

And possibly do shippy stuff with her, Tex, and Loona… I’m mainly an oc x canon and self shipped but idk I feel like this OT3 can help me develop Loona as a character.

Do you guys care to see these ideas I have? I really don’t want this fandom to get the wrong idea of me as well as the critical community.

I don’t always agree with critical takes and I try not to jump the gun with every allegation if the evidence is flimsy. BUT this doesn’t mean I like Viv as a creator and the spindlehorse as a company since I do believe there’s mistreatment and Viv is kind of toxic.

But hey, I love Ren and Stimpy and hate John K. Been a Catscratch and earthworm Jim fan and hate Doug TenNapel so separating art from the artist is not gonna he that hard for me.

I’m still a fan at the end of the idea and these roleplays and such I’ve done with friends gave me fun art ideas.

But yeah would you guys care if I share this stuff?

[copsecore]

My Thoughts About Hot Boi Summer ‘23:

CW/TW: i will be non-specifically AND specifically referencing at least semi-nsfw content so please dont read if that doesn’t fly with you in any way, please be responsible!

[PSA: THIS IS MY OWN OPINION OKAY - AND I MEAN NONE OF IT WITH ANY MALICE - TY]

DAVID:

Holy shit what the fuck this was Amazing (im referencing the poll on this post because erik did the results on stream, so yeah). David was in my top three picks for the poll and I was gutted that he didn’t seem to get very high - but i think that’s coz it was the first video, so maybe people had forgotten about it/it wasn’t as much in the forefront of the majority’s minds by the time the poll was released. Pretty much no negative thoughts.

VINCENT:

WE NEED MORE CUTE 7/11 DATES OKAY PLEASE ITS SO SWEET. Ofc the snack puns coming in Clutch ugh i loved those. My only issue (“issue”) was literally the same as why i wasn’t over the moon when sam was voted for the ba (sue me. i liked it anyway) and that was just that we had a vincent one a few months ago, and also a pretty pre-sexual vid after that. Also the fact that lovely literally grabbed his junk in semi-(hah, pun)public, but it’s the anti-PDA in me that disliked that part, so feel free to ignore it!

AVIOR:

Also in my top picks!!! I was a tad gutted when we didn’t get his. Saw a lot of posts begging for people to vote for it because yk him n starlight have been in literal Hell for years and therefore they deserve some smut time. Super cute vid, “A Romantic Night” is totally the right descriptor for it and also AYO WHIMPERY AVIOR??? YES. sorry ahem it’s the demons.

GAVIN:

It was so good. The premise of getting a more subby gavin? chef’s kiss, more please. everything about it was good and i WISH the ba had been how i expected it to go, but we aren’t here for my criticisms of That, so whatever. It links back to an old non-canon Huxley preview vid that was taken from us (RIP) when the channel lost loads of vids, or at least thats what it reminded me of, with the whole BBQ-and-somewhat-sexual-teasing aspect it was amazing and i would like to see more switch-esque gav in the future (*manifesting*)

LASKO:

Not too much to say considering I started this post as a way to lightly complain about the poll results, and Lasky wasn’t on the poll, obviously. Regardless, I’m glad this video went the way it did, I think we’ve seen a lot of lasko being quick to jump the proverbial gun in the last few years, with his non-canon vids, and hooking up with gavin, etc, so it was nice to see him break away from that and ask to move slower coz hell yeah dude, progress and growth!! and i think it shows how much he wants the relationship to be more natural, and not racing ahead, even if he does in part want that - it was sweet as hell.

ELLIOTT (ft. The Dragon):

I gotta say it right off the bat that i just found the video on the more boring end. *POLICE SIRENS BLARING IN THE BACKGROUND* AH FUCK-

I’m just not overly surprised that i think Eli got some of the lowest results on the poll, I enjoyed the video, and i liked it (this will be a recurring statement) but i just didn’t like it As Much. Lots of people (including me, ngl) wanted more of the dragon - but erik’s not about to do weird fantasy not-fully-bestiality-esque stuff guys - and i’m pretty sure I only liked it coz cmon it’s erik doing another hot voice, im gonna be down horrendous BUT NOT FOR AN ACTUAL DRAGON. i am Not donkey from Shrek. And yeah, i know Eli’s powers can be kinda limiting with what they can bring to the (pun not intended) sex-table, but does all of his spicy stuff have to be in a Dreamscape? idk.

ASHER:

My Second Favourite Hands Down. How people picked Sam over riding Ash in the front seat of a rental, i’ll never understand /lh the horn may make me jump every time, but it’s okay, there’s repentance in the tongue kissing, and i stand by that, it was the best bit (or one of the best bits), No Criticisms (except Ash please don’t have sex in a RENTAL. wait until you get to a bedroom at least PLEASE-)

GUY:

Again, i liked it but not as much. I love Guy, he’s one of my favourites, i can’t really say why i didn’t like this video as much as I normally would, maybe the concept just wasn’t rolling with me as well - the whole idea of post-concert seemed vaguely random, but you could argue that about all of these, so it doesn’t count. did anyone else see this or was it just me, coz if it is then i will quietly wave my flag of solidarity from my hole in the ground where nobody can see it.

ANTON:

I voted Anton. It was the sadness with the feelings and the horniness spicyness towards the end, ugh I loved it, Anton come home from war soon please (im terrified he might die because despite everything, nothing Death Related had happened in project meridian yet, and let’s face it, it’s gonna.) - it was nice seeing a different but also soothing take on the “your lover is leaving for an indefinite amount of time” thing, and how it changed in comparison to James’ video on it. Anton deserved the continuation okay. No aggression though.

SAM:

This is where I might get more argumentative because I was so disappointed that Sam won the poll, even though I love sammy. It seemed slightly out of character?? with everything we know about Sam, it just seems so unlikely that he would go to a club, let alone start getting, uh, “busy” n shit while at one. he’s not a big fan of PDA because of his past, in my opinion, and i think overall he’s very private, so the setting and stuff just seemed out of place, it would’ve made more sense for Milo’s or smth to be set there - but hell I can’t tell erik how to write his own characters lmao - and still, the ba was Great. with a capital G.

MILO:

I fell asleep listening to this the first couple of times, which says a lot already. The sensual massage trope has been used as a gateway to presumably spicy off-screen things before (Aaron’s HBW ‘21, Asher’s HBS ‘22) but idky it wasn’t hitting as well as it normally does, maybe it’s wearing thin on my brain. ofc it’s redacted content so i’m gonna eat it up like it’s ass (crude but true) but i listened to it through without falling asleep and was like “yeah it’s good, i like it, but also eh,,,” - like i mentioned, it would’ve made more sense to me if Milo’s and Sam’s were swapped around - anyone agree?

CONCLUSION:

as always, all the videos were really good, and despite whatever came across through this post, overall, i enjoyed all of them, so please don’t take this as a criticism towards erik or any of his work, trust me, i absolutely adore it - i say it every time, but every time it’s worth saying, and also please don’t cancel me. this was a really long post, so a lot of people probably won’t read it, so if you made it this far; well done! have a star 🌟- don’t be afraid to leave any agreements or disagreements in the notes, i love discussing stuff with people! thanks for reading

[thebibliomancer]

What If? Vol. 2 #4

This is probably the iconic What If? cover because I’ve seen this specific picture all over the place

What If… the Alien Costume had Possessed Spider-Man?

As opposed to? Because I thought it had?

The chosen title doesn’t quite convey the idea of the issue.

In the original events, Spider-Man feels rundown because the costume has been taking him on late night excursions. He has Reed check out the costume, who realizes it’s a living alien being. The costume is separated from Spider-Man for study but escapes and rebonds with him until he uses a big church bell to force it away. Spider-Man passes out and almost gets belled to death but the symbiote saves him at the cost of its own life.

Until it was retconned to have survived and bonded with Eddie Brock to become Venom.

Comics, amirite?

In this What If? Spider-Man gets the notion to have the costume checked out sooner but Reed isn’t available. He takes it to Curt Conners who doesn’t find anything unusual about it because he’s not a good scientist.

Peter eventually does take the costume to Reed but several days later than he would have. And it’s become so bonded to Peter in those additional days (compared to the much longer time he’s been wearing it since Secret Wars) that Reed can’t sonic it off Peter.

So the What If? is What If uh all that?

I see why the issue has the title it does. It’s hard to convey in a short way.

What If… Spider-Man Wore the Alien Costume Longer?

Yeah, let’s go with that.

Reed puts Spider-Man in a giant terrarium and brings in Dr Strange but neither science or magic can pry the ooze off of him.

Then he busts out and escapes and eludes any attempt at finding him.

Black Cat (who was dating Spider-Man at this time) gets pissed at Reed for not finding him fast enough and spite robs from the rich to give to the poor.

Pretty cool of her but the comic paints it as a shameful act that foreshadows other bad decisions she’ll make.

Not cool, the narration.

Other events that would have happened originally happen so because of Nightmare, Hulk is rampaging around mindlessly and Dr Strange is going to banish him to the crossroad of dimensions.

But Symbiote-Man jumps in, ditches Peter, and possesses the mindless Hulk.

Peter is left artificially aged, drained of all vitality by the symbiote and then abandoned for a new partner.

Hm. This What If? changes the symbiote from a clingy ex to the creep who keeps getting new trophy wives as soon as one ages.

Peter manages to put together some scientific research on the symbiote before he dies of being super old now. Reed uses those notes and his own research to create a symbiote tracker and a super science gun that can kill even a Venomed Hulk.

Not that we’re calling it Venom officially but it’s easier to type.

Out of concern for Banner and the thought that the symbiote may not be actively malicious, Reed decides to use the science gun only as a last resort.

But Venom tricks and takes Thor to replace a wrung out Banner.

Venom Thor flipped a coin between looking cool and dumb and it landed on its side. My brain is baffled. I can’t decide whether I like or hate it.

He definitely shouldn’t be able to wield Mjolnir though.

Venom retreats into the tunnels underneath Mount Rushmore to finish possessing Thor.

Reed still refuses to use the super science gun since it may kill Thor and calls in the biggest sonic attack in the setting.

He gets the job done but geez. You couldn’t have lured Venom someplace else so you didn’t blow up a sacred mountain?

With the symbiote stunned and helpless, Dr Strange prepares to banish it to the crossroads dimension where it won’t be able to hurt anyone.

Which is when Black Cat swoops in to say nuh uh.

She had her own subplot where she became increasingly frustrated with the heroes and filled with vengeance-y thoughts when Peter died.

To get revenge, she vowed to serve Kingpin for the rest of her life. In exchange, Kingpin provided her with a bootleg super science gun so she could kill the ooze that killed her Spider.

Revenge is bad or whatever.

This is definitely one of those What Ifs that jams hard on the “everything is worse forever” buttons.

And it changes a lot of how Venom operates and behaves to do it, which is frustrating to me.

The symbiote bonding so securely to Peter that a sonic gun won’t peel him off isn’t reflected in most of how it’s portrayed with Eddie.

And that’s a fair comparison since Venom Hulk takes on the familiar early Venom look.

The symbiote doesn’t typically drain hosts so quickly and throw them away. It’s whole thing is wanting a long-term host.

And despite an ambiguous moment where Venom claims possessing Hulk made it aware that what it’s doing was wrong and that it just wants to live in peace, it was just an attempt to trick Thor.

It’s just evil ooze in this story. Trading up to stronger and stronger hosts and slurping out their vitality.

When it usually is portrayed as having complex, if not always healthy, emotions about various things.

And it all builds to a bitter ending where Black Cat sells her soul to the Kingpin to kill Venom when the thing was already defeated.

If this was a story ABOUT her, that’d be one thing. But while she had a couple of scenes throughout, this was somehow more of a Reed Richards story. Butting his head against a difficult problem, trying not to resort to killing, finally coming up with a solution. And then Black Cat shows up and kills the thing anyway.

I don’t much care for this one.

The point of divergence isn’t obvious and it takes too many liberties in pursuit of a forced Bad End.

[blookyblooky]

#07: Cuphead

It's been a FAT MINUTE since I've posted something here and like, sorry-

What can I say? I'm more of an artist than a writer, I've barely played any video games between the last time I posted here. My life’s been on kind of a rollercoaster. But I’m back, maybe to have another hiatus, maybe to stay for good, and I’m gonna talk about a game that’s part of that rollercoaster. This blog contains spoilers so look at your own discretion nerd.

Cuphead is a indie run-and-gun developed by Studio MDHR. It’s main claim to fame are the visuals. It was so expensive to produce this game that the main two people in charge - Chad and Jared Moldenhauer - had to remortgage their houses. Also, the game just took a while to make. It got unveiled in 2013 (Which is also when Studio MDHR was founded) and it wouldn’t be until 2017 when the game was done and ready to go. And considering the game got a 3-part show on Netflix you can probably imagine how well the game did (good, it did very good, are you getting this - IT DID GOOD)

The plot’s simple, Cuphead and his pal Mugman enter a casino and play some Craps even though they’re underage, but that probably doesn’t matter since it’s a casino owned by : DA DEVIL. DA DEVIL catches wind of the Cup brothers winning streak and makes a deal with them: They get another successful dice roll and they get all the moolah from the casino. They lose, they own their sou-they fucking lose. Cuphead and Mugman are reduced to begging, pleading messes. DA DEVIL’s tired of them being little bitches so he offers them a chance to potentially keep their souls IF they bring him the soul contracts from other people he’s made deals with. 

Unfortunately, it’s no easy task, as all the debtors have varying sorts of surreal superpowers and put up a fight. Basically, the game’s difficult as shit. Not like, “Kaizo romhack” difficult” but the game’s pretty hard compared to most games out there, though it’s pretty much the standard for run and guns. Unlike most run and guns, Cuphead is more focused on the boss battles. In fact, at one point during development, it was just boss fights. But they added little levels in between that act as filler, and also for another reason that I’ll get to later.

The gameplay of Cuphead is almost as simple as the story initially but it adds stuff as you progress. You can run, you can gun, and….oh yeah, jump, too. But there’s more than that. Press the jump button again and - oh no you’re pink. That’s a parry slap, you parry stuff with it. Said stuff is specifically colored to be pink. Do that and you fill a card in your super meter. You have five bars you can fill up with damage done to an enemy or boss or a successful parry. You can spend one to perform an EX attack. There’s also the dash maneuver, which allows you to do a lil dash to further your distance from  something (or someone) on your tail, or to get closer to something (or someone) and get on their tail. You can also switch weapon types (provided you have a second one equipped).

FURTHERmore, you can buy weapon types and other things to help you out on your adventure at your local emporiums, all run by Porkrind.

You can find coins in the few run and gun stages or on hidden spots from the map or certain NPCS. As you buy out Porkrind's shelf stock more becomes available, so you should probably keep spending. He primarily sells funny tonics that give you different weapon types. Mix n match or change depending on what type of boss you're fighting for the best results. There's also items that can give you an edge over your fearsome foes, like pins that give you extra HP or a smoke bomb that allows you to smoke dash, which makes you invisible (just throwing it out: just get that one).

There's also extra "Mausoleum" stages where you must save The Legendary Chalice from pink ghosts that must be dealt with by parrying. Saving her allows you to gain big super attacks when you have all five cards.

Certain bosses take place up, up, and away from the ground where you’ll pilot a sentient aeroplane that wants to KILL. It’s basically like a shoot ‘em up. You can fire bullets and parry in pilot mode, but you can also turn small and fire weaker bullets but move faster and dodge narrow attacks. Later on you get an alternate weapon type where you can drop bombs that do more damage but go straight down and can only be really used near or above a boss. Both weapon types have their own EX attacks.

There's three "isles", all taking place in Inkwell. Inkwell is full of nefarious nincompoops and you gotta take all of their soul contracts to progress.

And King Dice will make sure of that, blocking you off if you haven't gotten all the soul contracts before trying to leave through the dice houses. You'll be up against a flower, amphibians, a dragon, a pirate, BEES.

Once you beat up the wackjobs in Inkwell Isle 3, you can proceed to DA DEVIL's casino where you'll do battle with King Dice and his henchmen in a game via playing Craps - aka rolling a die. Talk about bookends. After that you finally get to confront DA DEVIL himself. He kinda-sorta fuckin' lied about letting them get off the hook just because they got the contracts (though he never really guaranteed it in the first place). He offers you to join him or suffer. You get a funny alternate ending if you join him but otherwise you also kick his ass like you did with King Dice. Cuphead and Mugman are then celebrated as the heroes of the isles.

On June 30th, 2022, almost five years after the original game came out, Studio MDHR released a DLC expansion for Cuphead: The Delicious Last Course (get it?!).

This expansion adds a whole new isle that contains brand new bosses AND a brand new playable character: Ms. Chalice, who is The Legendary Chalice given physical form when swapping places with one of the Cup brothers through the astral cookie. The plot is that you must find all the ingredients so that Chef Saltbaker can make an astral cookie that grants permanent immortality.

I love this game, so so much. Despite all my grief and rage from certain bosses (specifically the Aeroplane bosses), I enjoy playing Cuphead. It and Donkey Kong Country are definitely my gateway into having tolerance for games scaling further on the "Challenging" scale.

[nella09archive]

Marriage. 90

Chapter 90: Where are you?

After the festival things have been interesting around the house. Well, mom and dad seem very quiet. Gohan was also acted more weird than usual. Every time he came home from school, crimefighting, or even study sessions with Videl, he was just super happy. It was creepy. Not even me jumping on his back, to wake him up, killed his joy. Who the hell is this person, and what happened to my big brother? He doesn’t even get mad, and that’s scary. On top of that, our parents act like everything is ok. This is just weird.

But at least I could look forward to my birthday and Christmas. Both are next month. That’s when it hit me. Everyone always gets gift on Christmas. I even make cards for everyone. What would dad like? Speaking of dad. I haven’t seen him all week. I asked mom, and she seems to not know. I asked Gohan, and he doesn’t know either. I try to locate his ki. I could sense him, but I can’t tell were he is. He’s so far away. I wonder why.

…

“Bulma, you sure about this?”

“Yeah. Now stop asking questions, and get moving. It took me forever to get Vegeta out of the house.” I can’t believe this. Though she said that usually she asked Gohan to help, but didn’t want to bug him this time. See here I am, helping Bulma repair the damage Vegeta did to the gravity room. “Can you stop moving so much!” After was done, she asked me if I could run a few errands for her.

“And why would I be the best person for this? Isn’t Vegeta more knowing of space?” She gave me a look. “Good point. So, what exactly am I doing?”

“I just need you to go to one of Frieza’s old bases, and grab as much tech as you can. Don’t give me that look. Can’t you ask one of your friends to help you out.” I was just about to say something, when…

“Lady you’re crazy. On top of that, Goku still owes me.”

I then looked to Bulma. “That’s the other reason I came here in the first place.” Her face turned red, and I soon found myself smacked across the face. “Hey! Calm down. Not like you haven’t before.” Another smack. Well, till she brought out one of her guns and started shooting at me. “Hey. Cut it out. At least I spoke highly of you.” What’s a little white lie going to hurt. “I thought you would appreciate the compliment. Especially since I said you were prettier than my wife.” I can’t believe I said that. I just hope she buys it.

“One picture, and that’s it.” Dende, after this I’m a dead man. Not like I haven’t seen her before. I’m just grateful that I told Chichi about this beforehand. Yeah, she screamed and threw me out the house. And might I add, she blasted me. Thankfully, after explaining, and begging for forgiveness, she said fine. But that I would have to make it up to her. That’s another reason I agreed to doing odd jobs for Bulma. Thank goodness I didn’t have to touch her.

To my great relief, and sanity, she had one of her bots take the picture. She even placed it in an envelope, so I couldn’t see. I quickly went to the old Kai, gave him the envelope, and asked the current Supreme Kai for help. Once I collect, what I think would please Bulma, I went back to her. I gave her everything, and asked if there was anything else. “Not at all. I already called the restaurant. Here’s the address, and just tell them my name.” I told her thank you and was off.

Once I got home, I was ambushed by Goten. “Where were you? And why was everyone so ok with it?” I could see tears starting to build. I tried telling him that everything was find. That I was just doing a few things. He didn’t look convince. “Still doesn’t explain why everyone was ok.” I then hugged him.

“Sorry about that buddy. Next time I’ll let you know that I’m stepping out.” He then looked at me, and he used his sleeve to rub the tears away.

“You promise?”

“Yes. Now come on, we have to get ready.” He asked why. “We’re going out to eat. So, we have to be on our best behavior for mommy.” He nodded and runs back inside the house. Gohan was on the couch reading, and already dressed. I then went to our room, and braced myself. When I opened the door, I took a defensive stance. But nothing happened. I didn’t get hit, nor yelled at, or even an angry look. All I saw was Chichi fixing her hair. I then saw clothes on the bed, and automatic saw the suit. I hate those, but it makes Chichi happy. I slowly made my way to the bed, till she called me over to her. “Yes, Chichi.”

“How did it go?”

“Thankfully she went into a different room, and got a bot to take the picture. Also, she placed in an envelope, so, I didn’t see anything.” She gave me a nod, and told me to hurry and get dress. Thank goodness she wasn’t making me wear a tie.

…

I can’t believe this! “Goku! How could you even do that! On top of that, she’s your friend! Not some random female! Also! How dare you suggested that you’ll be the one to take the photo!” I was bending his arms backward, while my foot was pressing on his shoulder blades.

“But she’s used to having people see her. And it was for the earth. I thought you’ll be happier that I didn’t suggest you.” I started to stomp on his back. “Ow! That actually hurts.”

“That’s not the point! And since you brought up that wonderful fact! How dare you say I’m flat chested! How dare you compare me to another woman! Especially saying things like that!”

“But that was a complete lie, to make Vegeta agree. You know that you have way fuller breast than Bulma. You also know that you have a way better figure than her. So, come on. I’m sorry.” I bend his arms more.

“Goku!”

“For goodness sake Chichi! Your body is nowhere as saggy as Bulma’s. Everything about you is all nice and perfect. Firm to the touch. And even your skin glows. It hasn’t aged by a long shot. Bulma actually looks old.” I finally released his arms, and got my foot off him. I watched him roll his shouldn’t, as I crossed my arms. He stood up, and held my hips. “Besides, you’re naturally beautiful, compared to her. You don’t need all that make up, to show off your beauty. You definitely don’t need to show off that wonderful body.” I was still fuming, but that seductive grin of his wasn’t making it easy. “Only I get to see that tight body of yours.” He then purred against my ear. “Like how I want to see it now.”

I then felt him kiss my neck, and rub up and down my sides. “Fine. But I want to have a dinner out as a family.” I then felt him picking me up, and instinctually I wrapped my legs around his waist. We started kissing, as he brought us over to the bed.

“Thank goodness the boys has school” I started to giggle at that, as he laid me on the bed. I then felt him start undoing my clothes, as we kissed. When he had gotten rid of our clothes, he kissed my neck. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” I then felt him thrust into me, and we in complete bliss. That was Monday, and he hasn’t been home since. Goten did looked very worried, and so did Gohan. Later in the day I got a call from Bulma, saying that I and the boys should start getting ready. I asked what for, and she told me how she set up dinner reservations to a restaurant. Also, how she will cover the cost, so, I didn’t have to worry about money. I said thank you, and asked what this brought this up. When she said Goku, I couldn’t help have a big smile.

I told Gohan to start getting dress, and if he seen Goten. Somehow Goten was nowhere to be seen around the house. But Gohan said he was close by. I went to his room, and set out his outfit. I then went to our room, and set out a nice suit for Goku. He’s going to look so handsome. I should look my best as well.

When we arrived at the restaurant, I was impressed. It looked super fancy. I can’t believe this. Maybe I underdress, and I was feeling uneasy. When we were brought to our table, I couldn’t help admire the decor. That’s when I noticed how empty it was. When the waiter came to ask for our drink orders, I couldn’t help ask about the emptiness. “Oh. We were informed about your family, and was advice it was similar to Ms. Bulma’s husband. So, we took extra steps to not over work our cooking staff.” With that I couldn’t help blush out of embarrassment. I even noticed that Gohan seemed embarrassed. Well, I should have expected this, but still was embarrassing.

As we ate, I couldn’t stop smiling at how my boys are being well behaved. They weren’t making a mess, or being loud. They were acting like a well behave family. It made me super happy. When I finished my meal, I continued watching my boys. They looked so happy, and I was loving it. When they were done, we walked outside. Outside Goku suggested if we should take a nice walk, instead of rushing home. “That sounds lovely.” As we walked, it was feeling wonderful. It was so peaceful, and perfect. Well, until Gohan got a call from Videl, saying something about she needed help with a riot downtown. Gohan looked between sad and happy. I told him that it was alright, and that for him to be careful. He told me that he will, before he pressed his watch and left.

The rest of us continued walking, and I was starting to feel cold. “Would you like to use my coat? Or would you like to head home?”

“Coat would be nice. I’m not ready to go home yet.” That’s when I noticed Goten was nowhere in sight. I started to panic. “Goku! Where’s Goten?” He then looked concerned for a moment, and then he looked calm.

“He’s a little bit ahead of us. He’s fine.” I still didn’t start feeling on edge. “We’ll catch up to him soon. Besides if anything was to happen, I’ll get him in time.” He then kissed my forehead.

…

When Gohan left, it was just me, mom, and dad. We continued walking and it was super nice. It was peaceful, and my parents looked so happy. Gohan was right about how nice it was to walked with our parents. As we walked, I saw something up ahead, and waiting to know what it was. I looked at my parents and they were speaking. I’m not going far, it’ll be ok. I can easily get back.

When I reached the thing, it was just a bunch of swings. We ended up at a park. I decided to play in the playground. I wasn’t far from my parents, and the jungle gym looks fun. I made it to the top when they finally showed up. They looked so happy. I then made my way down, and walked over to them. When I got to them, dad ruffled my hair. They both were smiling at me, and it made me happy. Maybe they would want to play with me. “Let’s play on the swings. Please.” Dad had a big smile and said sure. He ended up pushing me and mom. It was so much fun.

Before long Gohan showed up, and was with Videl. “So, how did it go?” Gohan went about how the people, in the riot, were just being a chaotic mess. And how it didn’t take long to get everyone under control. Then he and Videl join us at the swings. They seem to have made it a contest between. It was funny. But dad kept pushing me and mom. Today was pretty nice.

When we finally went home, I didn’t want to go to bed. I wanted to continue playing. But nobody wanted to play, and mom said I couldn’t play video games tonight. I was started to feel sad. Then dad asked if I wanted to join him, while he did his before bed workout. I agreed. It was better than nothing. We quickly changed our clothes, to not upset mom. I was doing push ups with him, and then ended up resting on his chest, as he did sit ups. It actually had put me to sleep.

The next day was nice. Even when everyone was doing their own thing, we all were in the den together. Mom was knitting. Gohan was doing school work. Dad was working out. Mom was making me study, too. It was nice. Super peaceful, and it made me happy. Gohan was also wearing a big smile.

-------

Ch89

[percontaion-points]

The Chemist chapters 30 & 31

Click to see the rest of the snark & image descriptions

Chapter 30

There was nothing she could have done, even if she’d never left his side. She’d let him come here to protect her, and that choice had killed him just as surely as the bullet in his heart.

Chapter 30 summary: In this book’s signature style, so much fucking time is spent on them simply going inside. They pause briefly to pass through a security check, but it’s obvious the military guards don’t know what to make of Julie’s box of syringes and scalpels. 

In the room where they’re holding Kevin, Julie doesn’t have to feign outrage and disgust over the filthy condition of the room. Nor over how the subject (aka Kevin) is a little dehydrated. Any good interrogator will know that if your subject gets too sick, they won’t be able to actually answer your questions. 

Julie and Kevin do a bit where she pretends to torture him, etc etc. And while I wouldn’t exactly say that it’s not plot relevant, it’s also tedious as fuck all. Especially in a book that refuses to get to the point. 

Finally, Julie asks the other interrogator, who’d been lurking and watching, to check the ankle straps. She knocks him out, Kevin jumps free, and Julie puts a gun in his hand. Bullets start flying, especially up into the room with the one-way mirror. 

When everything is over, the two of them stand by to look at the carnage. Carston was shot, but not even Julie gives a shit about him. It’s only Daniel that she’s worried about. Two guards are lying on top of him, having clearly been taken out by the poison ring she’d given him. But as soon as they get those men off Daniel, it’s obvious that things are super bad for him; he’s been shot in the chest, in a way that indicates that the killer knew exactly what he was doing. 

Chapter 31

“No, no, see, it’s his heart, Kev. It’s on the wrong side—the right side. That’s why the shooter missed.” She choked out another laugh. “He’s alive because he’s your opposite.”

Ah. I never thought that the mirror twin tidbit would be relevant. 

By the way, in case anybody was wondering, mirror twins are a real, if not insanely rare, phenomena. 

“He’s going to die,” she whispered. 

“Better that than he end up in a room like the one you just busted me out of.” 

“Didn’t we just kill the bad guys?”

She’s touched in the head if she thinks that killing like maybe 10 government agents is somehow going to be the end of her troubles. 

If anything, it’s seriously going to be the beginning. You think that these agencies won’t look into these deaths? Especially in a black ops site. Do you know who’s held in those kind of places? DANGEROUS CRIMINALS WHO COULD NEVER HAVE GONE TO A REGULAR PRISON IN THE FIRST PLACE. 

 Unconsciousness took her while she was still falling.

Chapter 31 summary: To their immense surprise, Daniel is somehow still alive. As Kevin goes to get Julie’s torture kit, he mentions that Carston is also alive. Julie says that she doesn’t care about that. But she does tell Carston that she never woke Olivia up, and that she’ll be returned to her mother shortly. So at least the man can die knowing that his granddaughter is safe. 

They get Daniel up on the torture gurney, and Kevin goes ahead to take out the last remaining guard. As they’re going, Julie thinks about something Daniel had told her earlier: that he and Kevin are something called mirror twins, where one twin is a literal mirror of the other. It means that his organs are on the wrong side of his body, which is a pain medically. BUT… having his heart on the incorrect side literally saved his life. 

Outside, Kevin points out that they can’t exactly take Daniel to the hospital. Julie is in a panic, and is only thinking about saving Daniel. 

Instead, they end up taking him to a goddamned vet, which… Yeah. Makes sense. We skip ahead several…? Days? Hours? I don’t know, and the narration is vague as fuck. Julie sits around and Daniel eventually wakes up. I want to say several days have passed, but they’re only acting like it’s been hours. YOU WOULDN’T WAKE UP AND BE COHERENT HOURS AFTER GETTING SHOT IN THE CHEST, HOLY SHIT. 

Daniel and Julie make kissy faces at each other. Val shows up, and she only continues to drag this scene down. Literally nothing of actual relevance happens after her arrival. The doctor eventually orders everybody to get some rest, so they all go. 

[i-am-brandon]

My life’s story chapter 3

We liked the Pokémon card’s but we didn’t know which Pokémon card’s we wanted. So younger me said the shiny card’s me and all my younger friend’s agreed. I used to go to a day care place, there was a married couple named Bob and Elaine, Bob liked bear stuff, and Elaine liked dolls, I used to sleep over at there house sometimes nothing bad happened, but they had me sleep in the doll room and this 1 doll scared me I don’t know if it had red eyes, but nothing bad happened, but also they had a teddy bear with a dolls face that scared me too, Bob and Elaine used to make me Mac n cheese, but not just any Mac n cheese they made deluxe Mac n cheese, that was good stuff, Bob and Elaine also had a Super Nintendo, I definitely played a Mario game on the Super Nintendo, it might of been called called super mario all stars, this was a Mario game that let you play more than 1 Mario game, Mario is I think an Italian plumber who saves the princess from the evil dinosaur named bowser. People may or may not like it you mostly jump in the game, you may or may not like the game, street sharks was 1 of the coolest toys I had, street sharks was a cartoon show about crime fighting half man half sharks, street sharks was a 90’s cartoon it was trying to be as popular as teenage mutant ninja turtles it did not succeed in doing so, the year was 1994, people nowadays might want to spend $200 on street shark toys in the box they came in for 90’s nostalgia, it was a Mattel toy maybe, as a kid I liked sharks and dinosaurs, super soakers it was a popular toy in the 90’s it’s a water gun it shoots water at people and people were into it I guess, super soakers made a company a billion dollars, mighty morphin’ power rangers made a billion dollars, 1 year my dad bought me the red power ranger costume, and he was the leader of the mighty morphin’ power rangers, but the red power ranger was not my favorite power ranger it was the green one for some reason he was the only guy character with a date, so I used to have a crush on the pink power ranger because she fits a shallow criteria, so I mean the red power ranger isn’t bad but now that I think about he didn’t have a date that sounds bad but accurate to my life because I also don’t have a date and my life is pretty much being single for 30 years and I’m still single so I guess I am kind of like the red power ranger but that doesn’t sound good, bop it, pull it, twist it I had that toy, bop it extreme I think I had that toy too, Mattel helped out Sega a company that succeeded when Atari had to pay 22 million to get the rights to E.T. , they had to pay 22 million to make an E.T. Video game was 1 of the worst selling games, in it you play as E.T. And that part isn’t bad but in the game you fall into holes E.T’s neck goes upward out of the holes and you get chased by someone who wants to kill you but also you have no way to defend yourself that sounds bad but the angry video game nerd talked about it in a positive way but if you don’t know how to play this game they made it confusing to know how to play it the right way, so without knowing how to play it the right way, some say it’s 1 of the worst games ever made, how bad is it, it was said that several E.T. Games were buried in New Mexico so that they would never be found. That game existed in 1983, Atari lost $563 million on this game so yeah it was 1 of the worst selling games probably of all time but for sure the 1980’s. Mattel helped out Sega, so I thought was positive because they succeeded kind of when video games weren’t succeeding, Sega made a cute little hedgehog that was blue and he was the fastest hedgehog alive and he’s the mascot of Sega, he’s a positive symbol of succeeding when a lot of video game companies didn’t succeed like Atari. Pokémon the year of that was 1996.

[whenthedeeppurplefalls]

OK SOOO I meant to write my own additions to this, but time got away from me. However, I finally got the time to sit down and write my own:

- Little Will and Little Lila both have their own temperaments. I think Lila is very stubborn and can be prone to misbehaving mainly to get attention (she gets very anxious if she’s not being noticed or paid attention, so she’s the type of little to knock over a vase or something to get attention, because to her, even bad attention is good attention.

- Will is the exact opposite. He can be extremely quiet when little because he’s very used to keeping quiet so as not to get in trouble… it takes a lot for his caretakers to get him out of his shell, but when he does, he’s a very sweet, cheerful little. 🥺 He loves making up little songs, he repeats things he’s heard over and over as echolalia, and he loves watching shows.

- Little Will loves playing with hands on-stim toys like clay, etc. all his caretakers have a ton of tiny little clay sculptures made just for them.

- Little Will unfortunately does get triggered a lot by seemingly innocuous things, and instinctively hides/shields himself when afraid. Sometimes it can take ages to get him to come out, and more than once his caretakers have almost lost him. (Tanya has a moment where she ALMOST calls Yu/Fisher in a panic because Will was missing… turns out he was hiding in the pantry because the lightbulb flickering scared him.)

- Jumping off of Marshy’s hc about will being a padded regressor, I think there was a bit of a “learning curve” so to speak, where will’s caretaker had to make the executive decision that he needed them.. Will ofc finds them really comforting and safe, and it’s actually really nice knowing he’s protected, he feels no shame or discomfort from them, and it’s always nice knowing he’ll be clean and happy 🥺

- Will gets extremely attached to one or two toys at a time, and… yeah, good luck getting him to put them down. Like. Ever. He will go so far as trying to take a bath with it, which isn’t so bad if it’s rubber or plastic, but doesn’t work well for fabric toys. His long time favorite is a ragged stuffed rabbit that actually used to belong to Tanya as a child. It was actually a bit of a struggle to give it to him, because it had sentimental value, but in the end Tanya was happy he loves it so much.

- Will basically has a “get out of school free” card, courtesy of Fisher. When fisher is his caretaker, that man doesn’t play around. (He’d never admit it, but he has a huge soft spot for the baby.) If Will regresses at all, even feels like he might, Fisher will drive all the way over to take him home so he can be little and happy.

- This is random, but I think baby Will would LOVE car rides? Like he finds them super soothing and comforting. There are some nights when he just won’t sleep, and his caregivers (the adults who have a car) often drive him around to get him to sleep. It may result in them losing sleep, but that’s neither here nor there.

- Loves head scratches and cuddles. He especially loves to take long naps with his caretakers, so being snuggled and pet results in a very comfy nap for him 🥺

- He has pretty bad sensory issues. Tanya has to warn him if she’s about to run the blender, she has to make sure to stop alarms before they go off or it can trigger him and scare him pretty badly. :(

- Baby will is extremely touchy. His caretakers learn to put important/dangerous things up and out of reach so he doesn’t get into it. (Tw for gun mention) Fisher learned once, and very quickly to never ever clean his gun around Will. All it took was Will LOOKING at it for him to immediately be like “okay that’s going in the safe permanently.) Tanya also has to keep her phone from him, or else she’ll never get it back. He’s entranced by pushing the lock buttons on the Home Screen, and once got it locked for 24 hours because he kept punching in patterns on the passcode.

I might update more later, for now these are just some of the ones I have 😭 I don’t have nearly as many as Marshy. I also strongly recommend to read marshys agere fics btw!!

For fun: any agereg headcanons for Will Clarke :0

oh my gosh so many you have no idea alkgjdaslkf. i know i've made posts about him before but i don't think i've made a headcanon compilation post for him yet (and if i have uhhh i forgor 💀) so i'm gonna use this ask as an excuse to do that hope you're ready—

i already know this is gonna get long so i'm gonna put it under a readmore. tws for mentions of canon abuse and cults, and discussion of diapers. let me know if i should warn for anything else <3

will generally regresses anywhere between 0-5, but usually he hovers near the 1-3 end of that spectrum. he baby

his main caregivers are mike, tanya, and yu (who i like to picture adopting him in a happier au 🥲), but martha, ellie, and fisher and hutchins (for my tedfishyu fans out there lol) also step in from time to time. i think jimmy also sometimes looks after him but that's usually when he and regina have playdates (i also headcanon her as a regressor but that's a thought for another time lol)

i think mrs. hutchins steps in to look after him from time to time too, especially before he's taken in by his adopted family (which she's also a part of i'm not leaving her out, she's just there first and before it's official lol). i don't think she knew he was regressing per se, she just knew he was a vulnerable teenager who acted kinda childlike sometimes so she did her best to look after him when he needed it <3

lila also pops in from time to time in nice aus where she exists still, either as a headmate or as a separate person—she's my beautiful, evil babygirl so i usually tend to write her in somehow lol. i see her as a regressor leaning flip but she only ever really looks out for will, and she's more of a big sister figure to him than anything.

will is not picky about using caregiver titles, lol. if you're looking after him there is a strong chance you will get called mama/papa/dada at some point, even if you're just a babysitter and especially if he's regressed super duper young. i think they're like verbal stims for him when he's little, so unless you're tanya, mike, yu, ted, mrs. hutchins or fisher he doesn't necessarily think of you as a parental caregiver, he just really likes saying those terms :') and yes this is a bit of a projection on my part lol

will is not a permaregressor per se, but i do think once he finds his family he spends a lot of time regressed due to being forced to grow up too fast and the abuse he suffered from his mom and the fraternity (and lila, depending on the au. i love her but she's also canonically a villain and sometimes i do explore that in agere aus)

he's also definitely a padded regressor, i think he has a lot of incontinence issues due to disability and the aforementioned trauma that get exacerbated when he's little so it's just better to keep him in diapers or pull ups. i think they also just generally make him feel safe and comfortable, so he doesn't mind wearing them—he did have shame about it at first for needing them, but his found family has been nothing but supportive and kind about it so he's able to embrace needing them and find comfort in them :')

he has so many soft and comfy clothes!! onesies, big t-shirts (many of them stolen from his cgs hehe), overalls, super soft sweaters, and a few nightgowns/dresses/spinny skirts cuz gnc will reigns supreme in my head lmao. i think he has a wide variety of styles too because basically all of his caregivers have bought or lent him him clothes at some point and they all have drastically different styles so what he's wearing highly depends on who's looking after him and what cute outfit they wanna see him in XD

he enjoys it though! it's kinda fun being their dress up doll sometimes, especially cuz they like to coo at him and take pictures of him when they dress him up. it makes him feel very pretty and loved <3

honestly will doesn't really care much about gender in general, and that's doubled when he's little. he has a wide variety of toys ranging from traditionally "masculine" like trains and legos to traditionally "feminine" like play dress up costumes and a gorgeous dollhouse he got for christmas one year. i'm also shamelessly stealing this headcanon from @whenthedeeppurplefalls but he also lovessss puppets and has a handful of those as well, along with a puppet theater lovingly handmade by mike and tanya for a different christmas (or his birthday, i haven't decided lol)

honestly a lot of these headcanons have probably been at least partially stolen from tanya so shout out to her give her some appreciation <3

his taste in tv shows is similarly varied i think. going back to the puppet thing his faves are definitely the muppet show and sesame street but i like to think he's also a strawberry shortcake, scooby doo, my little pony and blue's clues kid also projection don't worry about it, pfft. he'll watch most things without complaint but those are his faves :)

he's a very touch starved kid so he can get pretty physically clingy sometimes and it's very adorable 🥹 sometimes he goes through periods of touch aversion (usually due to trauma flashbacks or overstimulation) but most of the time he wants to be close to his cgs so he's frequently being held in their arms or lap or just holding their hand waugh

generally will's a really easy kid. he's very sweet and doesn't like to act out, and if he does act out it's usually cuz he's overstimulated or having a bad brain day, and occasionally he will have meltdowns. his cgs have developed gentle protocols for dealing with those days and ways to prevent them because it is NOT fun to see their baby hurting and upset :(

loooooves playing pretend, especially if he gets to play an animal :3

he loves animals in general, whether it's watching shows about them or being read books about them. he canonically feels a kinship with them after all!

related but every time he's taken to the zoo or aquarium it's the best day of his life aglkjdsklfjd. he also likes going to the library and the park, and sometimes for a special occasion his family takes him to an amusement park or festival where he gets to go on the rides (it's very stimulating for him in a good way, you know how little kids like to be thrown around sometimes? it's like that <3)

he's pretty clumsy even out of headspace so his balance is naturally even worse when he's in headspace alkgjadsklf. his caregivers often have to catch him when he wobbles, and if he's younger than two, they often need to carry him (at that point he's usually crawling anyway, but if there's places he needs to go that's when they just ask if they can scoop him up......assuming he hasn't already asked to be carried, that is 🥺)

okay this has gotten out of hand so i'll end it here lol, but god i have. so many thoughts about this kid i forgot how much i loved little will waaauuugh 🥹🥰