#and like she was saying about meeting people in the middle

[madebycloud]

You're here that's the thing

jinx x reader — 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

summary: Home isn't a four walls and a roof nor the material things that fill in it. It's the warmth in Jinx's eyes whenever she smiles at you, it's the little hands clinging to your shirt as they cross the street. Home is right here. (requested by anon) warnings/themes: FLUFF!! domestic ig, vulnerability (???), slight angsty at the end but happy ending <3 words: 5.7k notes: i'm glad nothing bad happened at the ending and they all live happily ever after :D

You're chowing down on a steaming bowl of seafood at Jericho's. Every bite is a savory delight, justifying your claim that this is Zaun's finest eatery. 

A hooded figure quietly slides into the seat beside you, revealing familiar blue hair when they pull their hood back. Unfazed, you continue eating.

“Bad day?” you mutter, and the blue-haired person helps themselves to a seafood from your bowl without a word.

Life in Zaun is tough, especially after Silco's death, leaving room for chem barons to fight for power. What’s new?

Then, a kid catches your eye. You nudge Jinx. “Who's that?” You nod at the kid in the far corner. 

Jinx, casually munching on your seafood, just shrugs, “Dunno. She's been following me.”

You stop eating and look over at the young girl who's been staring at you both, squinting slightly at her as your gaze shifts back to Jinx. She takes notice of your questioning look and quickly says, “She's not mine,” before taking another bite of seafood.

You roll your eyes at Jinx and then turn to the kid. “You hungry, kiddo?” you call out, gesturing towards the seat beside you.

She hops up onto the stool, though it's a bit high for her and you help her up. You order her a bowl of seafood like you and Jinx were having. She begins eating, her hands stuffing her face.

“So, kid, where's your parents, guardians? Shouldn't you be with them?” But her silence persists, her big, curious eyes locked onto yours.

You and Jinx finish your food and pay Jericho, walking out into the bustling lanes with the young girl in tow. Turning to Jinx, you shrug slightly. “Can she stay with us?” 

Jinx looks at the child and back at you. “Do we even have a room for her?”

Weighing your options, you consider the practical aspect. The answer is likely a ‘no’, but with the environment of Zaun, leaving a child alone on the streets seems far from safe.

“She could use your room,” you suggest, glancing ahead. “I mean, you found her first.”

But Jinx isn't having it. “Nah, you're the one who brought it up, so it's your room.”

You and your parents once owned a house. Thanks to the all and mighty Piltover enforcers who played a role in your parents' disappearance, leaving the house unoccupied. Seeing an opportunity, you claimed the house, not only for yourself but also for your close friend who, without it, would have nowhere to sleep comfortably.

“It's my house.”

“Our house,” she corrects, smirking. “Considering most of the stuff there comes from me, it's not just yours. So that means–”

“By ‘comes from you,’ do you mean the stuff you've stolen?” Your brow furrows as you stop in your tracks, planting your hands on your hips as you stare her down.

Jinx shrugs nonchalantly, her smirk still present. “Finders keepers.”

You sigh, knowing you're not winning this argument, especially not in the middle of the street with people starting to watch. “Fine,” you relent. “She can sleep in my room. I'll take the couch.”

You crouch down to meet the kid's gaze, Jinx standing beside you with her arms crossed. “What's your name, little one?” you ask, but the child remains wordless, those big eyes staring back at you.

You glance at Jinx for help, but she's already thinking of names. “How about Pompom?”

The kid wrinkles her nose at the idea.

“Or maybe Pinky?” Jinx continues, grinning. “Or Sparkles!”

“How about ‘Isha’?” you suggest.

The moment the name leaves your lips, the child's eyes light up.

“Isha it is then.”

Jinx, a bit pouty, muttering under her breath, “She likes ‘Isha’ more, huh? Figures, it came from you.”

“What? It's a nice name,” you raise an eyebrow at her.

“Yeah, whatever.” She turns to Isha, poking the girl lightly on the nose. “Well, Isha, you're stuck with us now.”

Isha's eyes dart between you and Jinx. “More like we're the ones who are stuck with her,” you reply, chuckling, as you playfully ruffle the girl's hair.

—

It's been a full month since Isha started living under the same roof.  You catch Jinx making her hold a gun, teaching her how to shoot.

You scoff, raising an eyebrow at Jinx, “Seriously, Jinx?”

Both Jinx and Isha look up at you, equally undeterred. “What? It's a fake gun,” Jinx defends herself, as if that explains everything.

You pinch the bridge of your nose, already feeling a headache forming. “That's not the point, Jinx. She's just a kid.”

“Pft, ‘just’ a kid.” Jinx rolls her eyes, clearly not understanding your concern. “It's harmless, I promise. Just a little fun.”

“If you're looking for something fun,” you reach into your bag and pull out a coloring book and colored markers. “I found these in the lanes,” you explain, offering the items to Isha. “Much better than play-shooting,” you suggest, giving a pointed look to Jinx before she can protest.

She watches as Isha's face lights up, her attention quickly shifting to the coloring book and markers. “But…” Jinx starts. 

“No buts, Jinx. She's coloring now.”

Jinx lets out a heavy sigh, clearly dissatisfied, but she doesn't protest further. She pouts, leaning back against a wall as she watches Isha happily coloring in.

You join Isha, sitting next to her. Her young hands grip the markers tightly as she fills the pages with colors.

“Making something nice?” you ask, peering over her shoulder to see her work.

Isha nods, her tongue slightly sticking out of her mouth as she carefully adds some color. She glances at you, offering a shy smile before returning to her drawing.

Once Isha is finished with her drawing, she proudly holds it up for you and Jinx to see. The drawing shows three stick figures on a bright blue sky. The two tallest figures, with one that has what looks like braids, are holding hands with the small one in the middle. The three figures smile under the sun.

“Wow, look at that! It's us, all together.”

 Jinx, though reluctant at first, can't help but crack a smile too.

She leans in closer, “Why are my eyes so big?” she snickers, pointing at the comically large eyes drawn on her figure.

You laugh along with Jinx, pointing to a comical squiggly line drawn below your feet in the picture. “And what's that supposed to be, hm?”. Isha giggles, a small blush creeping up her face.

“It's your shadow, duh,” Jinx quips back. 

“In that case, my shadow looks like it ate too much and grew extra limbs.”

“Well, if your shadow's a glutton, mine's got tentacles.” She points to her shadow drawing, which indeed looks like it has several wriggly appendages attached to it.

“You know, I think this is fridge-worthy,” you grin, holding up the drawing. "What do you think, Isha? Do you want to put this on the fridge?"

You turn to Isha, who nods excitedly, clapping her hands together. 

You hand the drawing to Isha, who eagerly takes it to the fridge. You follow her, lifting her up slightly so she can stick the drawing against the fridge door with colorful magnets. She smooths out any wrinkles and carefully adjusts it until she's satisfied.

“Ta-da!” you say, as the drawing now has a permanent place of honor on the refrigerator door.

“Not too shabby, squirt”. She glances at the drawing again, and then her gaze shifts towards Isha. For a moment, a soft expression appears in her eyes—a flicker of something you can't quite make sense of. “Who knows? Maybe one day we'll see this piece in a Piltover's museum, valued at a million golden hexes.” 

“Only a million? I think it's worth a lot more. Maybe we should start an auction right here and now.”

Isha giggles, her small fingers tracing the colors on her drawing again.

“Alright, alright, don't go getting ideas. We don't need some fancy Piltie art collector trying to buy this and hang it in their mansion.”

“Come on, Jinx,” you nudge her. “Don't you think it'd be hilarious to see this hanging in some fancy mansion surrounded by all those fancy Piltover paintings? Maybe we should get Isha to paint more of this and turn this whole place into a gallery.”

—

You meant ‘place’ not your face.

Laying down on the couch, you squint your eyes open as you feel a moist sensation along your face. When your vision clears, you see Isha, giggling, marker in hand, and running away as fast as her legs can carry her. 

“Hey!” You sit up, a chuckle rising in your throat. “You little rascal, come here!”

The sound of a door opening makes you pause. Turning, you see Jinx standing there, half-asleep and clearly irritated.

“What the hell is going on here?” she grumbles, rubbing her eyes.

A snicker escapes Isha's lips.

“Looks like you've got a new makeup look, Jinx.”

“What?” she asks, her voice still groggy from sleep.

Silence.

Jinx looks at your face. Isha's hand. Finally placing her own hand on her face. Wet mark on her face. Smear of color on her hand.

“Isha.”

You and Jinx exchange a glance. Grins matching hers. Without hesitation, you both rush after Isha, who breaks into a run.

Just as she turns a corner, you quickly change direction and outstretch your hands, successfully scooping her up into your arms and spinning her around, her hands grasping at your shirt and arms around your neck as she continues to giggle.

While still holding Isha, you see Jinx's eyes as her hand darts towards a nearby marker and begins to draw on Isha's face. 

“Hold still, you little gremlin!” Jinx says, struggling to keep her marker strokes even while Isha wiggles and giggles. She manages to add a few squiggles and dots before Isha's laughter becomes uncontrollable, disrupting any further attempts at ‘decorating’.

“Come on, lemme finish it.” A few more ink-blots make their way onto the girl's face before she's set down. “Ta-da!” Jinx declares, wiping her hands on her pants. 

Isha, still giggling, runs to the nearest mirror, who is practically bouncing on the balls of her feet as she takes in her reflection. She turns her head from side to side, admiring her new ‘makeover’ from Jinx.

Feeling a tingle in your chest, you steal a glance at Jinx, watching her smile at Isha. 

Idiot, you silently scold yourself.

But your lips still curve into a small smile. 

Damn it, you silently curse to yourself, hoping Jinx didn't notice you staring at her with that expression written all over your face.

But Isha doesn't miss that. She looks between you and Jinx, the gears in her young mind turning, and a sly grin slowly spreads across her face.

Oh. She knows something that you'd prefer to keep hidden.

—

Isha's been down with a cold.

Today, you made her a bowl of porridge. Jinx volunteered to help.

You stand at the stove, stirring the simmering porridge, with Jinx by your side, carefully cutting up some fresh fruit to mix into the meal. You carefully ladle the porridge into a bowl, checking to make sure it's just the right temperature for Isha's sore throat.

You glance down at the bowl, satisfied with the consistency and temperature, before moving it onto a tray along with a spoon, a glass of water, and the bowl of fruit.

You head towards Isha's room, with Jinx following close behind. You can hear the sound of soft coughing coming from inside, along with the rustle of blankets.

Pushing open the door gently, you enter the room to find Isha sitting up in her bed, her blankets piled around her. Her face is slightly flushed from the fever, and she looks a bit tired, but her eyes light up when she sees the tray in your hands.

“Here's your porridge,” you say softly, setting it down on the bedside table. 

Jinx moves to the other side of the bed, plopping down next to Isha and gently placing a cool hand against her forehead. “You're still a bit warm.”

Isha nods weakly, trying to suppress a cough.

“But that porridge should help,” you add, settling on the edge of the bed and offering the bowl to Isha. “Slow sips, okay? Don't want you getting a tummy ache on top of everything else.”

Isha accepts the bowl and sips the porridge carefully. 

“There you go,” you smile, watching as Isha continues eating. Jinx grabs the glass of water, holding it up to Isha's lips once she's taken a few spoonfuls.

Once she's done, Jinx continues to check on her, fluffing her pillows, adjusting the blankets, and giving her the occasional pat on the head.

—

It's late evening. 

Jinx sits cross-legged on the floor, her back resting against the footboard of the bed where Isha is lying down. The little girl's eyes are focused on Jinx, her hands covering her face partially as if trying to stay up a bit longer.

Jinx tells a story she learned from Vander, one that he used to tell her when she was a child. A story about miners getting stuck in a mine and rescued by a mysterious, wisp-like woman that guided them to safety.

When Jinx finishes the story, she glances at Isha, expecting her to be asleep by now. Instead, she lies there and watches Jinx.

Peeking through the door, you expect to find Isha asleep, but she is still wide awake. Jinx looks like she's wracking her brain to think of more stories, still determined to get the little girl to sleep.

A soft chuckle escapes your lips as you settle down on the floor next to Jinx. “She's not tired yet, huh?” you whisper to Jinx. 

“No, not yet,” she replies. “I've run out of stories to tell and she doesn't seem even a bit sleepy.”

“She's just like you.”

“Hush,” she says, trying to suppress a smile. “I'm not the one keeping her awake right now.” She turns back to Isha, who is still awake and watching both of you.

“Well, neither of us are helping,” you point out, looking at the little girl who's staring at you both. “Isha, it's time for bed. You need to close your eyes and sleep.”

Isha pouts, clearly not wanting to go to sleep just yet. She looks at Jinx and then at you, her eyes pleading for another story. 

“Come on, kid,” Jinx says. “It's well past your bedtime. No more stories.”

Isha’s pout deepens, her bottom lip jutting out stubbornly.

You stand up from the floor, walking over to a nearby bookshelf where you keep various children's books and comics. After a quick rummage, you find a colorful comic book that should interest Isha.

You return to the bed, carrying the comic book, and sit down next to Jinx again. Isha leans forward, her eyes immediately drawn to the book in your hands.

“Found one,” you say, holding up the comic book for the little girl to see. Her eyes light up when she recognizes the vibrant cover. 

Flipping open the comic book to the first page, you begin reading aloud about a group of animals in a forest. Isha listens intently, snuggled up in bed, her eyes darting between the images and your face as you read the story.

“Every day, these animals would wake up early,” you read, pointing to the drawing of the animals waking up and stretching. “Some would eat breakfast, some went to play, and some went to search for food.”

“One particularly lazy squirrel woke up late.” You turn over the page to reveal a picture of a sleepy little squirrel yawning and rubbing his eyes as the other animals were already out of their nests.

“By the time he woke up, all the nuts were already gone.” You flip over the page again to reveal an image of the squirrel, now wide awake, frantically searching for something to eat but finding nothing but empty trees and bushes.

“The squirrel was shocked and saddened that the nuts had run. But then,” you change your tone dramatically, “one of the rabbits heard the squirrel's cries and decided to help him!”

You turn the page again. This time, the picture shows the rabbit coming up to the squirrel, a nut in his paw. “The rabbit, seeing the squirrel's plight, decided to share his own breakfast with him.”

“The squirrel was delighted and grateful,” you read, and you turn the page to show an image of the squirrel happily sharing the nut with the rabbit. “The two of them ate and ate together, until their tummies were full and they fell asleep in a heap on the forest floor!”

You glance up from the book and see that Isha has finally fallen asleep. Her small head is now lying on her pillow and a tiny smile graces her lips, as if she were dreaming about the animals from the comic book.

You close the comic book and set it down, but then there's a weight on your shoulder.

Looking to the side, you see Jinx, who has fallen asleep. Her head rests on your shoulder. Her hair tickles your neck. Her eyes closed.Her mouth slightly open, softly snoring.

Still as a statue. 

You find yourself staring at the soft curtain of blue hair, your fingers itching to reach out and push it aside. 

But you don't. You can't. You don't want to wake her up. Don't move.

It would be a small action, but you know that it might wake her up, and the last thing you want is to deal with a grumpy face and her snarky comment. 

But your hand moves as if it has a mind of its own. Inch by inch, your fingers close in until they gently make contact with her hair, brushing it back over her ear. 

Jinx lets out a soft sigh, her head leaning into your hand as if aching for your touch.

Her face, now with her bangs brushed aside, shows her features—so fine, so distinctly her.

Your eyes trace her face. You want to hold her in a way that you'll remember forever. You want to know her in every way possible, to learn every inch of her, to understand every thought and feeling she's ever had.

Her arms are the only chains you'd gladly wear. Her eyes in which you'd forever be lost. Her smile is the one you can never say no to. Her voice is the song that you could listen to for hours.

You wonder if she would lean into your touch, if she would arch her head into your palm. Would she let you caress her face, your fingers tracing the slope of her jaw and the curve of her cheek? Or would she pull back, pushing you away?

But as quickly as it began, it ended.

You pull your hand away. Your fingers clenching into a fist and returning to your lap. The memory of her soft hair against your skin remains, burning at the edges of your thoughts.

Then Jinx slowly stirs from her sleep. She lifts her head from your shoulder, her heavy-lidded eyes meeting yours, then your mouth, then back to your eyes again.

You saw her throat move. Are you hallucinating? Is it just your imagination? You can't tell for sure. You wonder if your mind is playing tricks on you. Your thoughts are fogged by the way she's looking at you.

Her eyes linger on your face, tracing every contour, every feature.

Your heart is in your throat. You can hear it pulsing in your ears. You can feel your palms getting sweaty. You try to hold her gaze, but your own eyes are drawn to her lips, soft and slightly parted.

Finally, Jinx breaks the silence. “You're staring,” she murmurs.

You blink, her words snapping you out of your trance. “I–” you start to respond, then realize how stupid and obvious it sounded. “Just making sure you didn't drool on me.”

She chuckles, her hand pushing your face away from hers. 

“Hey!” you say, putting a palm to your face.

You watch as Jinx stands up, heading towards the door, opening it slightly, and pausing to look back at you. 

“Good night,” she says, eyes lingering on yours for a moment.

“Night, Jinx,” you reply, one hand still resting on your face.

You catch a glimpse of a small smile forming on her lips as she disappears through the door, leaving you sitting there with a palm still on your cheek.

You hear a soft, barely suppressed giggle coming from Isha's bed. Confused, you turn to look at her, only to find her looking at you with a wide grin. 

“Isha,” you say, surprised, “I thought you were asleep!”

—

“You could have warned me,” Sevika grumbles. Isha continues to focus on coloring her hat.

“Fat chance,” Jinx responds, turning to face Sevika. “About what?”

Sevika glares at her, obviously displeased. “Your stunt at the checkpoint.”

“No idea what you're babbling about.”

“That wasn't you?” she scoffs. 

Jinx pauses, a flicker of realization crossing her face. She glances at Isha with a knowing look, noticing the smirk on the child's face.

The conversation with Sevika continues, with Jinx growing more and more restless as it does. Once the discussion is over, Jinx rises from her spot. “I gotta go bother someone,” she says, before walking out.

You notice the look on Isha's face. Disappointment.

“Let's go, Isha,” you say, already grabbing a bat and some small balls. You don’t wait for a response, signaling for her to follow as you head to the door.

—

It's late, the sun having set and the moon now high in the sky. You and Isha had spent the previous hours playing, but Jinx still hasn't returned. Concerned, the two of you look for her.

Isha rides on your shoulder, her small hands gripping your hair. She looks at the surroundings for any sign of Jinx. 

After some time walking and climbing, you end up on a rooftop. You both climb carefully, making sure not to fall.

Finally, when perched on the edge, you spot Jinx. She's sitting with her knees against her chest, looking out at Piltover.

You gently place Isha down on the rooftop, giving her a subtle nudge, gesturing towards Jinx. Isha catches your cue, nodding quietly and slowly approaches Jinx.

Isha carefully settled herself down beside her. Her legs dangling off the ledge of the rooftop.

You take a seat on the other side of Isha, settling down with a soft rustle of fabric. 

Jinx continues to stare out at the city, her chin resting on her folded arms. “You guys found me, huh?”

Isha shifts her position, moving closer. You notice that she's looking up at Jinx, her small head resting against her arm.

Jinx glances at the child. She reaches over to ruffle Isha's hair affectionately.

“Couldn't stay away.”

“Yeah,” she mutters, “I guess you two are pretty stubborn.”

You reposition yourself, shifting your body so that you can lean back and rest a hand on the cold, gritty rooftop.

Jinx moves herself into a more relaxed position, leaning back and placing her hand on the rooftop next to yours. With her other hand, she pats at Isha, gesturing for the child to lay down.

Isha obliges, her small body now sprawled out across Jinx's lap. She fidgets a bit, clearly beginning to tire.

Watching over the city below while the moon hangs low in the night sky, a familiar touch breaks the silence, fingertips seeking yours.

There's a gentle pressure, a gentle caress, that causes your hand to twitch involuntarily, yet you don't pull away.

Her hand rests on top of yours , claiming its place as if it were always meant to be there. Jinx's fingers gently trace patterns across the back of your hand, almost like a secret language only she understands. 

“Your hands are cold,” she continues tracing lazy circles with the pads of her fingers.

You hadn't even realized how cold your hand had felt until she pointed it out, and now it seems to be burning under her touch.

“Ever thought about wearing gloves?” 

“Gloves?” you repeat, finding your own voice now. 

“Hm, I guess not,” she responds, almost to herself. 

Her fingers suddenly stop their tracing, and for a brief moment, you feel disappointed. But she quickly resumes, her thumb now brushing over your wrist, the pulse point.

Jinx glances up at you, a small smirk playing on her lips. “Your pulse is racing. Am I making you nervous?”

“No,” you mutter, though the speed of your pulse likely betrays your words.

“Uh huh,” she says. “You're a terrible liar.” She continues to hold your wrist, thumb now drumming a slow, steady rhythm against your pulse point.

“Relax,” she murmurs, her thumb gently rubbing against your pulse. “I don't bite... much.”

You try to calm your racing heartbeat, but her touch is making it difficult. 

“I'm relaxed.”

Isha shifts in Jinx's lap, her body stirring slightly. The sudden movement snaps you out of your trance, both you and Jinx turning your attention towards the girl. 

Jinx lifts her free hand and pats Isha’s head reassuringly. Her touch is soft and careful, not wanting to disturb the sleeping girl.

With Isha settled, Jinx turns her attention back to you. She still hasn't let go of your wrist, her fingers now massaging little circles into your skin. “You're awfully tense for someone who's ‘relaxed’.”

She studies you for a moment, her eyes roaming your face, then she suddenly releases your hand. The sudden absence of her touch feels like a loss.

Jinx sits back, creating a bit of space between the two of you. 

“What's on your mind?”

“Just thinking.”

You frown, frustrated by her vague response. “About what?”

“About you,” she answers.

Her reply catches you off guard. You feel your cheeks warm, and you mentally scold yourself. Why is she having this effect on you?

“Me?” you ask, trying to remain calm.

Jinx glances down at the sleeping Isha, a slight smile tugging at her lips. “Yeah, and Isha,” she mutters, her hand absently playing with the child's hair.

Her eyes then dart back to you, studying you intently. “Mostly you, though,” she clarifies.

“Uh, me?” you repeat, mentally cursing yourself for sounding like a parrot.

Jinx hums, still absently playing with Isha’s hair. 

"What... what about us?"

Jinx doesn't respond right away. Her gaze flicks between you and the sleeping child, as if contemplating something.

“I've got a habit of bringing trouble wherever I go.”

She turns to you, her gaze meeting yours. There's something almost pleading in her eyes, as if she's silently begging you to understand.

“I just-” she begins. “I don't want anything bad to happen to either of you... because of me.”

Her eyes search yours for a moment before she looks down at Isha. “I'm not sure what I'd do if something happened to you… either of you.”

“I care too much,” she blurts out, looking back up at you. “And honestly, it scares me.” There’s a pause as her eyes lock onto yours. You can see her shoulders tense, struggling to find the right words. “I don’t want to mess everything up. Everyone I’ve ever cared about has gotten hurt by me, or because of me.”

You ache to pull her into your arms, to soothe the worries that are weighing heavily on her shoulders. It takes every ounce of restraint you have not to. “No,” you murmur softly, shaking your head. “No, I'm not going anywhere. Neither is Isha.”

“You don't know what could happen.”

“Yes, I do,” you murmur. “I know there's a chance we might end up hurt. Or worse.” You take a deep breath, holding her gaze steady with yours. “But that's a risk I'm willing to take,” you continue. “Because being with you, right now, is worth it.”

She opens her mouth as if to protest, but you cut her off with a soft shake of your head. “No. No more talking. You've said what you need to say. Now let me say what I need to say.”

Eyes never leaving hers, you reach out slowly, giving her enough time to pull away if she wanted to. But she doesn't, and your fingers find their way to her cheek, gently cupping her face.

“I care about you too,” you murmur, your thumb tracing a gentle path over her cheekbone. “I care about the person you are, not just the person you think you are. I see the good in you, the good that you struggle to see in yourself.”

Her lips part, as if to utter another protest, but you gently press a finger to her mouth to silence her. “Let me speak. I'm not done yet.”

“Jinx I know you're afraid,” you continue, your eyes searching hers. “You're terrified of the possibility of me or Isha getting hurt. I understand. But you need to realize,” you pause, your fingers moving from her mouth to her chin, tilting it up gently so that she's looking you fully in the eye.

“You're not a curse,” you say. “You're not a jinx. Bad things happen, but that doesn't mean it's your fault. It’s not your fault—” 

“I know.” She trembles under your touch. Her eyes glisten.

“No, listen to me. It’s not your fault.”

“I know.” Despite her best efforts, the dam is beginning to break. 

“It’s not your fault,” you repeat. A single tear manages to escape, trickling down her cheek and into your palm. “You were just a child.”

“But I should have known. I should have—They're gone because of me. It's my fault.”

“No, no, no,” you cut her off. “It's not your fault. You were just a child. You were doing what you thought was the best to help them, to protect them.” You gently wipe the tear away with your thumb, your heart aching for her. You can see the battle she's fighting within herself, and it kills you that you can't do more. 

“You are not defined by your past, by your mistakes,” you continue, your hand still on her cheek, feeling the slight tremble as she struggles to hold back her tears. “You are so much more than that.”

“You are loved,” you murmur, your fingers gently tracing her jawline, before moving slowly upwards to her temple. “By me, by Isha. And by many more people than you realize.”

For perhaps the first time, Jinx lets herself break. She leans into your touch, her cheek pressing harder against your palm. Her eyes never leave yours, seeking comfort, reassurance. She grips your wrists weakly, her hands trembling. “It's okay, I’m right here.”

“I'm not going anywhere,” you murmur, your thumb tracing small, soothing circles on her cheek. “No matter what happens, you hear me? I'm here to stay. We're here to stay. You're stuck with us.”

Slowly, the tears begin to subside. Her breathing steadies. Her body calming down.

You let your fingers slowly shift from her tear stained cheeks to her hair, gently playing with the strands. “I'll do everything in my power to keep both of you safe,” you continue, your hands moving down to her shoulders, giving her a gentle squeeze.

“I'm not some damsel in distress,” she mutters. 

You laugh, leaning back on your hands. “I know you're not,” you assure her. “You'd probably kick my ass if I tried to treat you like one. But even the toughest people need someone to have their backs, right?”

Jinx huffs, though you can see the edges of a smile on her face. “That's a cheesy line,” she mutters, rolling her eyes. 

“Maybe,” you admit. “But it's still true. You don't have to face everything alone,” you continue, hoping to drive the point home.

“Yeah, yeah,” she mutters, her hand resuming its gentle stroking of Isha’s hair. “You're annoyingly stubborn, you know that?”

“And yet?”

Jinx snorts. “And yet somehow... I tolerate you.”

Sensing the change in atmosphere, Isha mumbles incoherently, shifting slightly.

“Looks like someone's stirring,” Jinx coos.

With one final pat on Jinx's shoulder, you withdraw your hand, silently communicating that the moment is over, for now.

Her shoulders tense slightly at the loss of your touch, disappointment or perhaps longing in her eyes. But she quickly composes herself.

The little girl slowly opens her eyes, blinking sleepily and looking around disoriented. She rubs one eye with a fist, then glances up as if just realizing that she's in Jinx's lap.

Isha grins brightly when she sees Jinx, her tired eyes lighting up. She wriggles a bit, stretching her limbs and looking surprisingly cheerful despite being woken up.

“I think we should head back. It's getting late.”

Jinx nods, carefully shifting Isha in her arms as she stands up. The child wraps her arms around Jinx's neck, clinging to her like a monkey.

“Alright, kid, time to head home,” Jinx tells Isha, bouncing her up a bit in her arms. The girl giggles and buries her head into the crook of Jinx's neck.

Seeing Jinx like this with Isha is something else. She looks so... soft.

“Ready to go?” Jinx asks, looking at you. Isha wriggles, eager to get going.

You nod, gesturing for them to lead the way. Isha stretches out a hand towards you, wanting to hold onto you too.

“Looks like you've got a fan.”

“Nah, she just likes me that much.”

“That so?” Jinx huffs. “Or is she just using you to get to me?”

“You know she'd choose my company over yours any day,” you say, sticking your tongue out at Jinx.

“Oh, so that's how it is, huh?” She pokes Isha gently in the stomach, causing another giggle from the child. “Traitor,” she mutters under her breath before addressing you again. “I'm wounded, really.”

“You'll survive,” you assure her. “Somehow.”

The warmth of Isha’s grasp on your hand. The giggle that escapes her every time Jinx spins her around. The way Jinx's eyes soften when she looks at the child.

This, you realize, is what home could feel like.

notes: im so excited for act 4 on saturday!

[caffeinatedvigilantewriter]

So Danny is older, and lives in Gotham as a mechanic (he could be a We mechanic, a JLA mechanic, whatever) and eventually, he starts dating Bruce Wayne.

Now, Danny knows the Wayne at the bats, it’s kinda hard to hide your vigilantism from a former vigilante. But Danny doesn’t mention it, he knows the dangerous of telling your loved ones.

Jazz is alive and a therapist is Coast City (Jazz x Hal? Could that work? Idk too much about the green lanterns). Dan is undercover to investigate pools of corrupted ectoplasm that’s guarded by an assassin cult, and Dani is still traveling the world, not for pleasure, but for the Realms.

Dani doesn’t age. It’s a side effect of being a clone. She destabilized one to many times and now her ghost half won’t let her age so she won’t die.

Dani can’t exactly settle down in a city likes the others. She looks 12. And while her siblings would take care of her in a heartbeat, she needs to fill her obsession of history and adventure.

So, she starts hunting for old artifacts, especially the magic ones. It’s a great way to learn about history and get a sense of adventure.

She’s been doing this for a couple years, building a name for herself and she gotten very good. (Keep in mind she only looks 12, but she’s actually like 33 mentally and intellectually)

Eventually, she crosses paths with a bat while searching for an artifact. (Even better if its Duke. We need more Duke. Probably won’t work with Cass, we’ll use Duke for the prompt, but can be switched out)

Obviously, Duke is kinda confused as to why a 12 yo is going after a dangerous magic artifact in the middle of but-fuck nowhere and offers to take her to Gotham and drops her off there after taking the artifact.

Dani knows better, she was going to refuse, but the realized she could take this as a free ride. So she agrees.

The reach Gotham and go their separate ways, and Duke goes home immediately, didn’t even take the time to tell anyone about the girl. but when Duke is at home hanging with their civilian stepdad, Danny gets a call and says he’s inviting his younger sister over

Bruce: Jazz? Jazz is older that you

Danny: nope! I have another sister!

Everyone: ???

Bruce: how comes we never meet her?

Danny: you have! She was at the wedding! But you’ll see her again don’t worry! She doesn’t visit often so I’m excited!

They arrives, the bat opens the door and Dani walks in.

Danny: Dani!!

Dani: Danny!!

So people are confused, Duke is like omg my aunt is an artifact hunter?? while everyone else is like omg my aunt is younger than me??

Eventually, Danny opens her backpack and goes:

Dani: so I was in *insert random place in the middle of butt-fuck nowhere* and found this! *pulls out artifact* I thought you would like so I brought it for you!

Danny: aww, thanks Dani, you shouldn’t have

Duke, who put that artifact in the cave for study: 👁️👄👁️

And Dani gives them a wink.

Duke isn’t going to take that lying down and attempts to find out Dani’s secrets while shes thwarting him at every turn.

Dani stays at the manor for a while, but nobody believe Duke when he tries warning them of Dani, because Duke didn’t tell anyone about the artifact

Things become even more alarming when Danny also start thwarting him, despite not know the family secret. (Danny thinks that Duke is onto the family secret.)

Cue crack, angst, fluff, whatever your heart desires.

[sosa2imagines]

Let us be there for you...

Warning- Angst, insecurity, introvert, self doubts, fluff. Disclaimer- @mrvl-addict finally got all four parts ready for you fic idea.

You’ve been a part of the Avengers for a few weeks now, and on the outside, you’re everything you’re expected to be confident, outgoing, always ready with a joke, never shy to dive into conversation. You make people laugh, you keep things light, you engage in every mission and meeting with the kind of energy that makes you look like you belong.

On the inside, however, you’re terrified. Terrified of being found out. Terrified of not being good enough. On the inside, you’re the opposite of everything you try to portray.  What the Avengers see, it’s all just a disguise. You put on a mask, a persona to cover up the real you.

You’ve spent your whole life like this. Putting on this persona in order to feel accepted, to feel wanted. To feel like you belong somewhere. You don’t actually know how to truly be yourself. Being yourself got you bullied, being yourself got you hurt. So you’ve learned to rely on masks.

Every moment spent around people leaves you drained. The constant performance of being the ‘fun one’, the ‘social butterfly’, is exhausting. You’d much rather find a quiet corner to recharge, but you don’t want to be seen as weak, or worse, lonely. So, you push through, hoping no one will notice that you’re barely keeping it together.

Except Steve and Bucky do notice.

It’s a typical afternoon in the Tower. Everyone’s just wrapped up training, lounging around in the common area to catch their breath.

Tony’s in the middle of telling some absurd story about his latest tech malfunction on a mission, his voice animated as usual. You’re on the couch, laughing along, making jokes, throwing in a few quips of your own. After all, you don’t want to be left out.

But as you laugh, you feel a familiar weight at the back of your mind. Steve and Bucky are both watching you from the corner of the room. You glance over, and for a moment, it feels like they’re seeing right through you.

Steve turns to Bucky, his voice low, but not low enough that you can’t hear. “She’s been acting like this a lot lately. It’s like she’s trying too hard to stay in the center of things.”

Bucky doesn’t respond immediately, but his eyes narrow slightly, like he’s weighing his words. “Yeah. I don’t know… she’s doing it, but I don’t think she’s really there.”

You can feel your heart rate quicken, and you’re not sure why it stings. You’re just trying to keep up the persona, to keep everyone happy, make it look easy. And yet, somehow, they see right through it. Before you can stop yourself, you blurt out, trying to brush off their observation with a grin, moving towards them, “What? What are you both talking about? I’m having a blast, really!”

There’s a brief pause. Steve’s expression softens, and it’s almost too much, the way he looks at you, like he’s reading your every thought. He smiles gently, but there’s an undercurrent of concern. “Of course you are,” he says, his voice warm. “But you don’t have to always be on for us, you know? You don’t have to prove anything.”

You blink, taken aback. For a split second, you feel a wave of embarrassment. It’s like they’ve peeled back the layers, and you’re exposed. You try to laugh it off, but your voice is a little quieter. “No, really, I’m fine. I’m just… just trying to keep things light, you know?”

Bucky, sitting across the room, looks at you with a careful expression. “You don’t have to do that with us, doll…” he says, his tone calm and surprisingly gentle. “We’re not gonna judge you for not being on all the time. If you need a break, or if you just want to…  we’re okay with that.”

His words hit you in a way you didn’t expect. It’s not the typical ‘you’re part of the team’ pep talk. It’s something different, something that feels like permission to be yourself, no masks. You feel a rush of gratitude, but also an overwhelming sense of vulnerability. You force a smile, but it’s a little shaky this time.

“I… didn’t mean to put on an act or anything,” you say quickly, suddenly feeling the need to clarify. “I just don’t want to be a drag, you know? I guess I’ve just gotten used to being the one who keeps the mood up.”

Steve’s eyes meet yours, and there’s no judgment there, just understanding. He leans forward slightly, his voice quiet but sincere. “We all have our moments. You don’t always have to be the one holding it together. It’s okay to lean on us.”

Bucky’s nod is almost imperceptible, but you catch it. He doesn’t say anything more, but the look on his face is one of quiet reassurance. He doesn’t expect anything from you, not the way you’ve been expecting from yourself.

You sit back on the couch, feeling a little out of place. For a moment, there’s silence. Then Tony, oblivious to the shift in the room, starts talking again, and you’re grateful for the distraction.

Later that evening, after everyone has gone to bed, you find yourself standing in front of one of the massive windows in the Tower, looking out at the city. The lights are peaceful, calming, and for once, you don’t feel the need to pretend. You’re just… you.

Footsteps sound behind you, and before you can react, Steve’s voice cuts through the quiet. “Hey, you okay?”

You don’t turn around right away, but the warmth in his voice makes your chest tighten. You inhale slowly, then speak softly, your words almost a whisper. “Yeah. Just… thinking.”

There’s a pause, and then Steve steps closer. “You don’t have to pretend with us, you know. We’re not gonna expect you to be this... bubbly, confident person all the time.”

You swallow, feeling a flush creep up your neck. It’s embarrassing, this sudden exposure of everything you’ve tried so hard to keep hidden. You turn to face him, and the words catch in your throat for a moment. “I guess… I guess I just don’t know how to be anything else sometimes.”

Steve’s expression softens, his eyes kind. “You don’t have to be anything else. Just be yourself. That’s more than enough for us.”

Bucky’s voice comes from the doorway, quiet but steady. “You’re part of the team. That means we’re here for the quiet moments, too. You don’t have to go through everything on your own.”

You nod, a small smile tugging at your lips despite yourself. There’s a weight in your chest that’s easing, bit by bit. It’s strange to feel like you don’t have to keep up the act anymore. Like, for once, it’s okay to just be.

“Let us be there for you…doll.”

“Thanks,” you say, and this time, you mean it. “I’ll try to remember that.”

There’s a long moment of quiet, and for the first time since joining, you don’t feel like you have to be anyone other than yourself. It’s a small thing, but it feels like a step toward something better.

Part 2-

Taglist- @imyourbratzdoll @blackhawkfanatic @ordelixx @sapphirebarnes @ilovetaquitosmmmm

@differenttyphoonwerewolf @vicmc624 @thezombieprostitute @nekoannie-chan

@mrvl-addict @mercurial-chuckles

@emerald-writes @caplanbuckybarnes

@redbloodedgurl @cjand10 @chemtrails-club @slutforchrisjamalevans @gracescor3

@ghostlythinggoingaround @princezzjasmine @3xclusivemariii @ephemeral-oasis @zuri-767-666

@geeky-politics-46 @dexter99 @calwitch

@caplanreblogsfics @winterslove1917

@pono-pura-vida @renegadesgirl1991 @iwudbutnah @ghalouha @sebastians-love @saranghaey @greatmistakes @baw1066

@bucks-babe @lolzies123r @kandis-mom @purplecolordeer @avioletkurt

@unaxv @pattiemac1 @lovely-geek @hzdhrtss

[benispunk]

Who's That Girl?

Chapter 7: You Don’t Choose Your Family

Y/n gets a surprise visit of her father at the apartment. It's not that she's not happy about it...but you don't choose your family.

logan howlett x reader

TW: language, mentions of divorce, D&W.

A/N: hey!! I am BACK!! I am absolutely not done with the story nor my exams but do not worry about anything. Chapter 7 is here (*applause*) and it's the continuation of the last one😚 we are also getting more of the Logan x reader I promised you 🤭 hope you like it!!!! enjoyyyyy <3

→ this fic is inspired by the TV Show New Girl, Wade and Logan aren't Deadpool and Wolverine (no powers/mutant gene etc) but I did take most of their character traits and storyline!!

Masterlist / Previous Part

Y/N wasn’t expecting the call.

Her evening was supposed to be low-key —grading papers, maybe catching a show with Logan and Wade later. But when Logan called, everything changed.

When she arrived, her father was comfortably seated on the couch, chatting animatedly with Logan. Logan looked both polite and slightly panicked— caught in the middle of a conversation he didn’t initiate. The sight almost made Y/N laugh. How Logan always ended up trapped with the chattiest person ever was a mystery.

“Dad!” Y/N greeted, pulling her father’s attention away from Logan.

“Hey, kiddo!” Your father, Daniel, stood up with a grin, acting as if this surprise visit was the most normal thing in the world. “I thought I’d drop by and see how you were doing.”

Y/N gave him a quick hug, still trying to process the unexpected visit. “I didn’t know you were in town.”

“Just figured I’d come check on you in this new place of yours!” he said, waving it off as no big deal.

Logan stood, relieved now that Y/N was here to handle things. “I’ll let you two catch up,” he murmured, retreating toward the kitchen.

“Thanks, Logan,” Y/N said softly, before turning back to her father. “You’ve met Logan?”

Daniel nodded. “Yeah, nice guy. We were just talking about his work—special ed teacher, right?”

“Yeah, he is,” Y/N replied, adjusting to the idea of her dad sitting in her apartment, chatting with Logan of all people.

A moment later, the door opened, and Wade strolled in after his shift at the bar, his usual grin plastered across his face. He spotted Y/N and her dad sitting in the living room and raised an eyebrow.

“Hey, what’d I miss?” Wade asked, dropping his bag by the door.

“Wade, this is my dad,” Y/N introduced, trying to keep the situation from becoming even more awkward.

Wade immediately brightened. “Ah, family!” he announced with his signature charm, shaking her dad’s hand. “I’m Wade. Roommate number one— the one who makes sure this place doesn’t burn down.”

Y/N tried not to laugh while Logan snorted from the kitchen. Daniel chuckled, easily won over by Wade’s humor. “Nice to meet you, Wade.”

Wade flashed Y/N a grin before slipping off toward the kitchen, joining Logan who was standing by the counter, quietly observing from a distance.

“So that’s Y/N’s dad?” Wade asked, leaning against the counter. “What’s the verdict?”

Logan shrugged slightly, glancing back at the living room. “Talks a whole lot. Very intense. Protective. Y/N’s surprised by the visit.”

Wade crossed his arms, clearly intrigued. “I know, she was at the bar when you called. Did he mention why he’s here?”

Logan shook his head. “Not really. Just asked me a thousands questions in less than ten minutes. I didn’t want to pry.”

“Good call,” Wade nodded, then peered over the counter toward the living room again. “He staying for dinner?”

“No idea.” Logan replied, though the question hung between them as they began preparing something simple.

From the kitchen, Wade called out, “Mr. Y/L/N, are you staying for dinner?”

Before Y/N could answer, her dad jumped in with a grin. “Absolutely.”

Y/N shot a look in Wade and Logan's direction, as if to say, I wasn’t planning this, but they simply exchanged a glance between themselves. They shared a silent understanding— something about the situation was off. Wade raised an eyebrow, while Logan gave a subtle nod, signaling that they were both on alert now.

With no turning back, they set about preparing a simple meal, something easy but filling— pasta and a salad. While they worked, the soft hum of Y/N and her father’s conversation continued in the background, though they couldn’t help but tune in occasionally, catching snippets of what they were saying.

———

“So,” she began, choosing her words carefully. “What brings you here, Dad?”

Daniel leaned back on the couch, his eyes scanning the room. “Do I need a reason to visit my daughter?”

Y/N gave a small, hesitant smile. “No, of course not. But you didn’t tell me you were coming.”

“Wanted to surprise you,” he replied with a shrug, though there was something in his tone that sounded off. “Thought I’d check out your new place. Make sure it’s... decent.”

Y/N nodded slowly, sensing the subtle judgment in his words. “It’s fine, Dad. I like it here.” She let her eyes drift to the kitchen where Logan and Wade were working, grateful for the slight distraction.

Her father followed her gaze, raising an eyebrow when he saw Logan. “So… Logan, right?”

“Yeah,” Y/N said quickly, confused as to where this was going. “What about him?

“He seems like a solid guy. You sure you two are just... roommates?” He asked and she bit the inside of her cheek, bracing herself for where this conversation might go. 

“Yes, Dad. We’re just roommates. That’s all.”

“Alright, alright, but what about Wade?” he asked,

“What's going on with you?" she blurted, raising an eyebrow as a grin threatened to break through.

Her father held up his hands in defense. “Just asking. Your mother and I used to talk about stuff like this, you know.”

Y/N blinked, caught off guard by the mention of her mom. Her father rarely brought her up that way, especially with how tense things still were between her parents, even decades after the divorce.  It was usually more an inappropriate comment her mother didn’t deserve. 

“Oh, really?” she asked carefully, not sure where this was heading.

“Yeah,” Daniel continued, his tone softening a little. “Back before things went... south. We used to wonder what you’d end up doing, where you’d live, and who you’d end up with. She always had these big ideas. Thought you’d find someone nice. Maybe settle down with a guy like one of these guys.”

Y/N opened her mouth to respond but paused, momentarily stunned by his gentler tone. Her father, for once, wasn’t launching into some bitter comment about her mom.

“She really said that?” Y/N asked softly, her curiosity outweighing her hesitance.

Daniel nodded with a smile. “She did. We were always so worried about you, you know? But it wasn’t just about who you’d end up with. We would imagine your entire future, what career you’ll end up choosing, how many dogs you would have— cause you always wanted one and we always told you ‘You’ll get one when you'll have your own house’…”

Y/N was quiet for a moment, letting his words sink in. It had been so long since her father had spoken about her childhood without bitterness that she almost didn’t know how to respond.

“I didn’t know you guys had my whole life planned,” Y/N chuckled, her voice softer now, her guard slowly lowering.

Daniel glanced over at her, smiling. “Yeah, well…we did that with your brother— although we didn’t expect any of his life choices, but that’s another story.”

For the first time in years, Y/N felt a connection with her father. A sense of mutual understanding that didn’t come laced with tension or resentment. It was brief, but it was something.

She smiled, a real one this time. “Thanks for telling me all that, Dad. That means a lot.”

Daniel reached over and squeezed her hand, his touch firm but comforting. “I missed you, honey.”

Y/N smiled, feeling the weight between them lighten. “I missed you too.”

Before the moment could grow too emotional, Logan called from the kitchen, “Dinner’s ready.”

Y/N looked toward the kitchen and then back at her father, who was already starting to stand.

“Well, let’s see what your roommates can do in the kitchen,” Daniel said with a faint smirk.

As they made their way to the table, Y/N couldn’t help but think that they’d actually had a good conversation. One that hadn’t ended with her dad tearing her mom down or leaving her feeling caught in the middle. Maybe things weren’t perfect between them, but for now, this small moment of peace was enough.

Daniel took the seat next to Y/N, while Logan and Wade sat on the opposite side. The conversation started politely enough, with Wade doing his usual job of keeping things light. He shared stories from his bartending adventures, as he always did, earning a few chuckles from James, who seemed to enjoy Wade’s humor.

The smell of the simple pasta dish Logan and Wade had thrown together filled the apartment. The atmosphere was initially warm, with everyone engaged in casual conversation.

“So, Wade,” Y/N’s dad said as he twirled his fork through the spaghetti. “Y/N told me you're a comedian?”

Wade grinned. “Yeah, I make people laugh for a living. Or at least try to. It’s a tough crowd out there.”

Daniel nodded. “Well, we could all use more of that these days.”

The conversation ebbed and flowed easily at first, moving between work, the city, and Y/N’s life in the apartment. Wade cracked jokes here and there, and Logan offered his quiet, thoughtful input when needed. It felt comfortable, almost like a normal family dinner.

But then, the conversation shifted.

“So, Y/N,” her dad began, his tone changing ever so slightly. “Have you heard from your mom lately? Still living the California dream, I assume.”

Y/N felt her body tense, and she shot a quick glance at Logan, who was watching her father closely. Wade picked up on the shift too, though he didn’t say anything.

“She’s doing fine,” Y/N replied cautiously. “We talked last week, actually. She’s been busy with work, but she’s good.”

Her dad gave a small, dismissive shrug. “Work. Right. And still with that guy, I suppose?”

Y/N's eyes narrowed slightly. “Yes. His name is Paul.”

Her father sighed, shaking his head. “I just don’t get it. She moves halfway across the country, barely checks in, and now with your brother all the way in Europe—”

“Dad,” Y/N interrupted. “She didn’t move across the country to get away from us. She moved for herself. And we’re fine. Sam and I are doing just fine.”

Daniel scoffed softly, setting his fork down. “I’m not saying you’re not fine, Y/N. I just don’t see how a mother can be so far away from her kids and not feel guilty. If I were her, I’d—”

“Well, you’re not her,” Y/N cut in, her voice sharper now. “You’ve been divorced for years. She didn’t abandon us, and she still cares. You don’t need to keep bringing it up like she left us to fend for ourselves.”

Logan’s jaw tightened as he glanced between Y/N and her father, sensing the rising tension. Wade shifted uncomfortably in his seat but stayed silent, eyes flicking to Logan for some kind of cue.

“I’m just saying,” Daniel continued, his voice lower now, “she could have stayed. Made more of an effort. But she left.”

“She didn’t leave us, Dad,” Y/N said, her patience wearing thin. “And honestly, Sam and I— we’re adults. We didn’t need her to stay and ‘raise’ us anymore. You’ve moved on with your life. Why can’t you let her do the same?”

Her father’s face tightened, and the air in the room grew heavy with unspoken frustration. For a moment, it felt like everyone at the table was holding their breath.

“I know you’re grown, Y/N,” Daniel said quietly, his eyes hard but sad. “But I don’t think a parent ever stops worrying about their kids. I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

Y/N sighed, trying to keep her voice steady. “I am okay, Dad. But you’ve got to stop blaming her for everything. This is your issue, not mine. Mom’s living her life, and I’m living mine.”

The room was thick with tension now, and no one knew quite what to say. Y/N’s father looked down at his plate, clearly feeling the weight of her words. Logan glanced at Wade, who shot him a silent look of understanding—they both knew when to stay out of family affairs.

After a long pause, Daniel finally spoke, his voice quieter than before and looking at all the people at the table. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to drag things down.”

Y/N softened and shook her head. “I know, Dad. But you’ve got to let this go.”

There was another silence before he nodded slowly. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”

The mood at the table lightened just slightly as everyone tried to return to their meals, though the weight of the conversation still hung in the air.

For a moment, there was silence, the air thick with unspoken words. Then, as if on cue, Wade jumped in, his voice cheerful and light. “You know what’s great about family dinners? Dessert! Who’s ready for some ice cream?”

The sudden change in tone broke the tension, and Y/N gave Wade a grateful look. Her dad, too, seemed to relax, chuckling at Wade’s enthusiasm. “Ice cream, huh? Now that’s something I like to hear.”

As Wade made his way to the kitchen, Y/N’s father glanced around the apartment again. His eyes landed on the fridge, and something seemed to catch his attention. “Hey, is that the picture I think it is?”

Y/N followed his gaze, realizing he was looking at the family photo she had put up weeks ago.

“Yeah,” Y/N replied, her voice softer now. “Wade and Logan insisted that I should put it up when I moved in.”

Daniel stood and walked over to the fridge, staring at the picture for a long moment. His expression shifted, a mixture of nostalgia and something else—regret, maybe. He ran a hand through his hair, his voice quiet when he finally spoke. “That was a good day. One of the last before things started to go wrong.”

Y/N felt a lump form in her throat. Something about the way he was looking at the photo made her heart ache.

“It was,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

Daniel turned to face her, his eyes softer now. “You’ve grown up so much, Y/N. I don’t say it enough, but I’m proud of you. No matter what happened between me and your mom, I’m proud of the person you’ve become. And I’m sorry for…all the mess that we caused.”

Y/N’s heart clenched at his words. She gave him a small, genuine smile. “Thanks, Dad.”

The moment hung in the air for a beat longer before Wade returned with bowls of ice cream, his voice breaking through the heaviness. “Alright, dessert is served! I got vanilla, chocolate, and this weird one Logan bought—pistachio whatever. Anyone feeling adventurous?”

Daniel chuckled, the warmth returning to his expression. “I’ll stick with chocolate, thanks.”

The atmosphere lightened once again, and they all sat back down at the table, enjoying their ice cream and talking a bit more.

As the plates were cleared and the remnants of dinner were packed away, Y/N walked her father to the door, feeling the tension of the evening settle uncomfortably between them. The earlier argument still simmered, but it had cooled to a manageable level.

“I didn’t mean to upset you,” her dad said quietly, standing in the doorway. “It’s just hard, you know? Seeing you grown up, dealing with your own stuff, and not being able to do anything about it.”

Y/N offered a small, tired smile. “I know, Dad. And I appreciate that you care. But I’ve got this. You don’t need to keep fighting old battles.”

Daniel sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “I guess I just still see you as my little girl. Hard to let that go sometimes.”

Y/N stepped forward and hugged him tightly. “I’ll always be your little girl, Dad. But you’ve got to trust that I know what I’m doing.”

Her father hugged her back, his arms wrapping around her in a way that felt both protective and regretful. “I’m sorry for bringing all that up. It wasn’t fair.”

Y/N pulled back slightly, meeting his eyes. “It’s okay. Just…next time, maybe we can talk about something else?”

He smiled. “Deal.”

With one last hug, Daniel stepped out into the hallway. “I’ll call you soon. Let me know if you ever need anything.”

“I will.” Y/N said, watching as her dad gave her one last nod before heading down the hallway.

When she closed the door, Y/N leaned against it, letting out a long breath. It hadn’t gone perfectly, but at least it was over. She turned around to find Logan and Wade standing there, watching her with quiet concern.

“I’m sorry,” Y/N began, her voice barely above a whisper. “I had no idea he was going to show up like that. I didn’t mean to put you both through all that drama.”

Wade, who was leaning casually against the kitchen counter, waved it off. “Are you kidding? This is mild compared to some of the shit I’ve seen and heard.”

Logan stepped closer, his expression soft. “You don’t need to apologize. Family stuff happens. We’re in this with you.”

Y/N blinked, a small, grateful smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. “Thanks, but it was just… a lot.”

Logan nodded. “We get it. You don’t choose your family, but you can make your own, you know?”

Wade chimed in with a grin. “And lucky for you, you’ve got us, the best family you could ever create.”

Y/N laughed softly, the warmth of their words settling into her chest. “Thanks, guys.”

Logan gave her a reassuring pat on the shoulder, and Wade, sensing the need for space, stretched dramatically. “Alright, I’m out. This emotional rollercoaster wiped me out. I’ll catch you both in the morning.”

“Goodnight, Wade,” Y/N said, shaking her head with a smile as he disappeared into his room.

Logan gave Y/N a lingering look. “You good?”

She nodded, still trying to shake off the heavy emotions of the night. “Yeah. I just need a minute.”

Logan gave her a small nod. “Take your time. Goodnight, Y/N.”

“Goodnight.”

Logan disappeared into his room as well, and Y/N sank into the couch. The living room was quiet now, and for a while, she let herself just breathe. The weight of the conversation with her dad still lingered, along with the tangled emotions from the night. She found herself staring at nothing, lost in her thoughts.

The hours slipped by unnoticed, the apartment dim and silent around her. She didn’t realize how late it had gotten until she heard the soft sound of footsteps approaching. Startled, Y/N turned her head to see Logan walking into the living room, his hair tousled from sleep.

“You okay?” he asked, his voice low, concerned.

Y/N let out a small, humorless laugh. “I thought you went to bed.”

“I did,” Logan said, sitting down on the couch beside her. “But I saw the lights were still on and thought you had fallen asleep here.”

Y/N sighed, her eyes fixed on the floor. “Sorry. I guess I didn’t realize how much time passed. I’ve just been… thinking.”

Logan watched her closely. “About what?”

Y/N shrugged, trying to find the words. “I don’t know. Everything, I guess. My dad, my mom, the divorce… I don’t want to cry about it. It feels like I’d be a little girl again, crying over something that happened so long ago. Like I can’t move on.”

Logan leaned forward, his arms resting on his knees as he looked at her. “It doesn’t matter how long ago it was. If it’s still hurting you, it’s okay to cry about it.”

Y/N shook her head, trying to swallow the lump forming in her throat. “But I shouldn’t. I’m not a kid anymore. Fuck, I’m a grown ass adult in my thirties. I can’t let this stuff affect me like it did back then.”

Logan's voice softened. “Y/N, you’re allowed to feel whatever you’re feeling. You don’t have to hold it in just because it’s been years. It’s still part of you.”

Y/N felt the tears prick at her eyes, but she fought to keep them at bay. “I don’t want to cry.”

“You don’t have to,” Logan said gently. “But if you do, I’m right here. You don’t have to do it alone.”

Y/N’s defenses crumbled at his words. She felt the dam break inside her, and before she could stop herself, the tears started to flow. At first, it was just a few quiet sobs, but soon she was genuinely crying, her shoulders shaking as the weight of everything she had been holding in finally spilled out.

Logan didn’t say a word. He simply shifted closer and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her into a comforting embrace. Y/N buried her face in his chest, her tears soaking his shirt, but Logan didn’t seem to mind. He just held her, letting her cry, offering nothing but his presence.

After a few minutes, Y/N’s sobs began to quiet. She stayed in Logan’s arms, feeling the warmth of his body and the steady beat of his heart beneath her cheek. It was calming, grounding.

“I hate this,” she whispered after a long pause, her voice hoarse. “I hate that it still hurts.”

“I know,” Logan murmured softly. “But it’s okay. You’ve been carrying it for a long time.”

Y/N wiped her eyes, her breathing evening out. “I feel so stupid.”

“You’re not stupid,” Logan said.

Y/N sniffled, pulling back slightly to look at him. “Thank you. For being here.”

Logan gave her a small smile, his hand still resting on her shoulder. “I’ll always be here for you. You know that, right?”

She nodded, feeling a wave of gratitude wash over her, and maybe something else. “Yeah. I do.”

After another long moment of silence, Logan shifted, brushing a strand of hair from her face. “You should get some sleep.”

She nodded. “You’re right. I got school tomorrow.”

Logan stood up and offered her a hand, helping her up from the couch. “You’ll feel better in the morning.”

Y/N smiled, feeling a little lighter. “You need to rest too, you know.”

Logan chuckled softly. “I will. But I’m not the one who just went through a rollercoaster of a night.”

Y/N gave him a grateful look as they walked toward their rooms. “Night, Logan. And… thanks again.”

Logan stopped at his door and gave her a soft smile. “See you tomorrow.”

With that, they each retreated to their rooms, leaving the quiet of the apartment to settle around them once more. But this time, the silence felt a little more peaceful, a little more comforting.

XXX

[hl-obsessed]

link to original manip

✨ fics i've read in November ✨

.🌸🌸🌸.

Roman Empire by Speechless

(E, 11k) One day Louis answers Liam's phone while he is in the shower. That's how he meets Harry, Liam's friend who moved to Italy just a while ago. And that's how Liam loses ownership of his phone.

*

“Do they sleep on the other side of the bed in Italy?”

He hears Harry laugh for a moment.

“I sleep right in the middle,” Harry replies. “Because no one will marry me.”

Louis bites back a little smile.

“Have you asked enough people?"

“The old lady walking her dog, just now.” Harry confirms. “She said no.”

Tastes like Strawberries by @sadaveniren

(E, 5k) I’m stressed. I’m nesting and demand cuddles. Come over

Harry frowned and double checked who the text was from. Yup, it still said Louis - Grad, which meant it was from Louis from his grad school.

aka Louis texts Harry by mistake. It works out

✨ Until the Pearls Get Lost by @londonfoginacup

(M, 25k) London, 1933. Harry Styles, alpha, elusive bachelor and happy third wheel to his coupled friends, receives a visit from one Liam Payne, begging for his help.

Liam’s childhood friend Louis is about to become the talk of the city; left at the altar because the mating bond was rejected, Louis will spend the rest of his life in an institution unless Liam can find someone to take him in and care for him as he recovers. Most omegas with failed bonds are never the same again.

With rumours swirling around about the reason for the rejected bond, Harry gives in to Liam’s pleas. He hasn’t the slightest idea how that decision will shape the rest of his life.

Bloom Just For You by @sunshineandthemoonlight

(E, 7,6k) Marcel decides to get straight to the point. "So I was wondering if you’d be interested in bottoming,” he says.

He glances anxiously over at his boyfriend in time to see Louis’ eyes widen over his mug of tea. There’s a choking sound, and all of a sudden Louis is coughing violently, trying to draw in a breath as his tea goes down the wrong way.

“Oh my– oh my god, Louis!” Marcel yells, panicked.

~

Marcel has never been happier; he has a job he loves, a boyfriend he adores, and a sex life with said boyfriend that exceeds his wildest of fantasies. But there’s one thing he and Louis haven’t yet tried in the bedroom. And he can’t get the thought out of his head...

No Surprises by @louislittletomlintum

(E, 21k) “I smoke socially, sometimes. Depends who I’m with,” Harry shrugged, taking another puff. Louis watched his soft little lips wrap around it and purse just slightly on the inhale. It wasn’t the first time he considered if Harry was perfectly made just to torment him.

“Hm. I won’t send you to jail for now, then. On crimes of fibbing,” Louis decided benevolently. He was about to open his mouth to spout off some other shite before he saw Harry had a bit of a pensive look in his features despite how his eyes were a little glassy.

“Lou,” he began, and god Louis loved that he’d earned that little nickname off of him. “Can I ask you summat?” Harry added, tapping the ash of the cigarette in the tray before taking another puff.

“You just did,” Louis smiled because Harry walked right into that one. “But I’ll give you another,”

“How did you know you were queer?”

or; an office au where louis is a loveable brat and harry is working himself out

You're Not Harry Styles (or are you?) by @bluegreen28fics

(E, 20k) Singer Louis Tomlinson finally meets his crush - ex-boybander Harry Styles - on a late night talk show after he recently released a hit single mentioning Harry. They hit it off and fall in love.

Play Pretend, Find a Friend? by @angelichl

(E, 40k) They had to pull back for air. Louis surveyed the guy’s face, in awe of his blown pupils and sharp jawline, the way their shared spit glistened on his lips.

“Hi,” he breathed. He blinked, and came back to himself a little bit, blushing at his own boldness. “Sorry. Is this okay?”

The stranger removed his right hand from the curve of Louis’ waist in order to cup his jaw, tilting it up to the angle he desired. He pressed their lips together, murmuring, “Definitely.” And then he kissed harder.

***

When Louis sees his ex-boyfriend kissing a random girl at a party, he acts out of blind jealousy. He kisses the first guy he can find. It turns into a thing.

✨💎 To Fight For Freedom by @snowy38

(E, 112k) It was snowing when he went down.

His sturdy and well-worn hiking boots were tied snugly to his socked feet; the knee-high thick black fabric keeping his legs warm to almost the point his pleated kilt rested just above his knees. Almost, because there was still a good four inches of skin bared to the elements.

His father had told him he had no need to wear the traditional uniform, but Harry knew better than to believe him. In fact, the only reason his father would say such a thing was because he would rather see him in anything other than an item of clothing which resembled a skirt. The reasons for his reservations may well be justified but Harry couldn’t think about that right now.

It was snowing and he’d been shot.

✨ Into the Woods (series) by mystic_believexx

(M, 44k) The one where the future Alpha of the Tomlinson pack imprints on the human, Harry Styles.

(warning❗this story is unfinished, last update in 2017. it's so easily to fall in love with it and have your heart broken 💔)

✨ amaryllis by @hattalove

(E, 146k) "Where are we?"

"Um. A little while out of London?" Niall tries, seemingly the only one willing to not be mysterious and provide Harry with information, and. Oh.

"London London? As in, the capital of England London?" he asks, just in case he'd misheard.

"No, the other London," Louis laughs, low and biting. He comes closer finally, the moonlight just enough to reveal a sharp-cut jaw and pale skin. "Sorry, Pup."

Nobody's ever called Harry a "pup". Frankly, he finds it quite insulting, but he lets it slide to try and comprehend his current crisis.

***

or the one where harry gets bitten by a werewolf. louis is the mysterious not-quite alpha, liam and zayn have Things going on, niall is their token human, and together, they watch a lot of TV.

'Sup by @mediawhorefics

(G, 6,7k) Gemma really wants her little brother to sign up for a dating app and get back in the game after a messy divorce. Harry thinks he’s way too old to swipe. They compromise to devastatingly embarrassing results.

Meanwhile, all Louis wants is to finish the play he’s been commissioned to write, but one of the regulars at his local coffee shop keeps distracting him.

***

ft. older larry, pushy gemma, harry being a disaster gay and silver fox louis.

Can't Imagine You Without The Same Smile In Your Eyes by @galacticlarry

(T, 4k) It’s been over a week since Harry’s first semester at university began, and he has had zero new exciting friendships or noteworthy experiences, just a bizarre dream that keeps waking him up in the middle of the night.

What happens when the boy with the pretty blue eyes from his psychology class catches his eye and starts occupying his mind?

Art of seduction by harrysprostate

(E, 13k) “Besides, I have a fiancé.”

“Does your fiancé know where you are right now?” Harry asked with a raised eyebrow.

“He knows I’m out with a friend.”

Harry blinked. “A friend?”

“What, engaged people can’t have friends?”

Harry chuckled at that and shook his head very slowly. He took his time to answer, even shifted in his seat and made sure that they were making eye contact first. “Oh Louis, we’re not going to be friends.”

Louis just smirked.

~or the one where louis is engaged but that doesn't stop harry from seducing him~

✨ my kingdom for a kiss (tonight you're on my mind) by leighbot

(E, 30k) “Oh fuck, I’m going to have to tell my mum,” Louis says, closing his eyes.

The silence stretches between them for a long moment until Harry starts breathing heavily. “I’m going to have to tell the Queen,” he says, “and my mum.”

 Or, the one where Zayn and Louis make a friendly wager and it goes too far, Harry's a baker with a heart of gold and really great hair, Liam is an overworked PA who just wants to enjoy his holiday and Niall is completely at ease, as always. An accidentally married AU mixed with a splash of modern royalty.

Still Dreaming ‘Bout You by @ireallysawanangel

(T, 3k) Harry doesn’t pay much attention to football. That’s proven even more apparent when the biggest football star in the UK walks into his juice bar and he doesn’t even notice. He does start to take notice when that football star keeps coming back.

✨ Just for Tonight (I can be yours) by @sadaveniren

(E, 42k) Harry, prince of Cestrescir, has been betrothed to Ludvic, prince of Yorvik, since birth. He'd accepted a loveless marriage as his duty to his country, until an accident threw him in the path of a gentle alpha

✨ This World's Ashes by @sunshineandthemoonlight

(E, 34k) The man stares at him, and all Harry can hear is his own heartbeat, racing.

Then the stranger turns away. He walks a few paces and bends down, picking up a large knife from the ground and shoving it into a pouch attached to his belt.

“I won’t hurt you, you know.”

Harry’s eyes snap up to the man’s face. He’s looking at Harry sincerely, palms held up as though in surrender. There’s still a knife in his right hand, though, so Harry is only slightly reassured.

Harry swallows to combat the dryness of his throat, and then says, “I won’t hurt you either.”

***

A post-apocalypse AU where Harry, battling his past as he survives in the woods, has learnt not to trust anyone except his dog. Then Louis crashes into his life, with his bright spirit and soft lips, pulling Harry from the depths of a loneliness he hadn’t realised he was drowning in. But there is danger lurking, and Harry’s not the only one wrestling with his past.

✨ no faith left to lose by @louieshalo

(M, 7k) Louis shoves an album booklet — Harry’s album booklet — into Harry’s hands, folded open to a familiar page. “I need you to tell me that that goddamn song is not about me.” His voice cracks a little in his vehemence, and ice fills Harry’s veins as he glances down at the creased page.

He doesn’t need to look closely to know what it is Louis is talking about — the title is printed plainly on the page, Second Chances, along with every incriminating lyric, line by line. It’s his most blatant offense off the entire album, probably; sickeningly indulgent and too obviously vulnerable to even defend himself against. The song is a surface-level dip into the fantasy world Harry toys with when the ache of loneliness gets to be too much in the middle of the night, the brief glimpse already toeing over the boundary he’d promised himself he’d set for his career.

Most damning, though, is the tiny embossed dedication at the bottom of the page;

“For who I’d be if I wasn’t afraid,” Louis recites, looking expectantly at Harry. “What the fuck does that mean?

***

or, the one where they miss each other more than anything.

.🌸🌸🌸.

part 1 (+50k) ✨💐 part 2 (30-50k) ✨🥀 part 3 (10-30k)

part 4 (< 10k) ✨🪷 part 5 (monthly rec) ✨💐

[giuseppe-yuki]

Horrible thought

Imagine francos gf goes out as her cat form and gets a bit roughed up by a stray dog, so franco has to fix her wounds

🐅

omg! that would be quite frightening.

i feel she would at first get herself into this situation by sneaking out the house in her orange cat!form with the mentality of a orange cat- chaotic, fearless, and with no zero thoughts in her head. she does it on purpose when franco’s in the middle of a interview or something- probably yapping about something that is gonna get him in trouble with pr.

after leaving franco’s house, it goes pretty well at first. she stomps on the ugly flowers in the neighbor’s front yard that she has always hated and digs a hole in another neighbor’s front yard just for the fun of it.

once she gets into the more suburban areas where there’s small shops that line the street, she purposefully nips at the fat birds that peck at the crumbs in the sandwich shop and attacks the people that walk by on the sidewalk.

it’s only when she’s admiring a yellow poster of franco on the wall that advertises an online marketplace company when a feral dog literally launches at her head with its claws out.

she has to limp back to franco’s house, yowling in pain with her tail tucked between her legs.

you won’t believe how fast franco ends the interview the second he hears her cries because damn it, no pesky chat with a talk show host can stop him from helping his gf.

franco will snatch her up (gently of course) and after chastising her for sneaking out + banning her from ever setting foot outside ever again, will say something goofy, like “it’s okay though mi amor, you’re lucky i’m the best doctor around!” even though he hasn’t had one lick of medical training.

he washes the grime off of her fur and wraps up the wounds with gauze and bandages (which he finds out how to do via a 5 minute YouTube video that runs at 240p quality)

then he gets orders pizza and cuddles her (in human form or cat form) before he’s forced to go to his williams meetings later in the day.

even though she loves how soft her boyfriend gets when she’s hurt, it’s def a 1/10 experience because it is not a fun experience getting mauled by a dog.

[mangohgeckoh]

Chemical Reaction (Chap 4)

"Day of Ash, Day of Water"

--

The bar fell silent when Ophelia trudged into the crowded establishment. Arms behind her back, she had used her shoulder to push the door open. Her clothes were stained with a mix of sand and blood, her eyes were irritated from her tears. Vander rushed to her, taking her shaking form in. “Oh, Oph,” he rushed behind her to see her hands restrained from enforcer handcuffs. Silco, who had been sitting at the bar, also sprinted towards her. His eyes were wide by the sight of distress she was in. A crowd slowly began to form consisting of the Last Drop’s regulars who had been worried about a fellow trencher.

Ophelia tried to form words but she could only let out dry sobs as she stared at the floor, guilty. “A-Allie,” She tried to speak. Vander froze. “The child?” He said from behind her, working the handcuffs off her sore wrists. Ophelia nodded frantically. “What has happened?” Silco spoke, concern stricken across his face. Now that her hands were free, she brought them to her face. “Dead.” … Silco took the cuffs from Vander who had been too surprised to say anything. The customers of the crowd exchanged worried looks. The children of Ophelia’s camp were well known around the Drop. It was one of the only safe places they could play. Silco’s blue-green eyes gave Vander a weak look. “Enforcers. This is Piltover handcuffs.” He said after examining the cuffs. Vander’s brows furrowed, anger taking over them. “She was a child.” Ophelia cried, throat burning with each word. “She only wanted to protect me.”

Silco watched Vander’s hands ball up into shaking fists.

“This ends today.”

-

A meeting was called to order. All of Vander’s patrons, who knew each other very well like a secondhand family, gathered in The Last Drop. Except no drinks were exchanged. Ophelia sat at one of the tables that lined the sides of the bar, Silco wrapping bandages around her wounds. “My fellow Zaunites,” Vander’s voice bellowed from the middle of the dimly lit room. Everyone Ophelia knew everyone that was present. Felicia, Anton, Benzo, Connol, everyone this side of the Undercity turned up and more. The bar had hit max capacity shortly after Vander’s speech started. “Today another one of our own has fallen,” Pain was present on his face but he pressed on. “Except this time it was a child that suffered from Topside’s cruelty.” He glanced over at Ophelia. Her yellow eyes were trained on the floor while Silco patched her up, he was listening intently. She was now a broken young woman, grief stricken. “How many more of our own will suffer? How many more of our children will face the same fate before we show Topside we are people too?” Aggravated whispers fell over the crowd. Vander was getting to them. “How many more murders from these enforcers will need to happen before we show Topside just how powerful we can be?” His voice had risen, rage overcoming him. Suddenly, he turned and stomped towards the bar. His large arm reached over the counter before he pulled two large crude-looking gauntlets out.

“It’s time we show these Pilties how loud we can be!” He roared after putting them on. The room fell quiet. For a moment the bar was filled with heated exchanges before a voice rose over everyone else's. “It is time,” Silco stood, unsheathing a blade from his miner’s coat. “It is time we show these bloated Topsiders who we are. What the children of Zaun can do.” With that, the crowd erupted into rage-driven cheers.

Zaun was ready.

Zaun was ready for war.

-

It started at the bridge connecting the Twin Cities, Piltover and Zaun. Two large groups gathered on each end. Armed enforcers formed a line, blocking the entrance to Piltover’s gate, the entrance to equality. Vander stood at the head of the mob, his people behind him, his arms disappearing under the sleeves of his gauntlets. He eyed the enforcers blocking their path. The foremost officer opposing Vander had a cocky attitude. “Tell your people to disarm and shove off. This doesn’t need to get ugly.” He threatened. Vander stared daggers into the man’s eyes. “The way I see it,” Vander looked over his shoulder, his greasy hair flowing in the dry wind, “Things are already ugly. You’re outnumbered, so you’ll be the ones shoving off.” He inhaled before spitting on the officer’s shoes.

The leading officer blew a whistle. Everything happened fast. Enforcers pushed their way into the crowd, mowing down anyone in their way with imposing metal shields. Ophelia watched as her own people were trampled into the concrete of the bridge. “Load up!” Anton crashed a box onto the ground behind her, she turned and saw a glimpse of molotov cocktails before they disappeared into the hands of enraged rioters. Surrounded by the crowd, her senses were buzzing, her adrenaline pumping.

Ophelia quickly scaled one of the bridge’s support cables. From her new perch she could see the riot unfold, molotov explosions boomed like fireworks across the bridge. Without thinking, she unsheathed three feathers from the plumage on her back. Her grip was so tight and the blades so sharp that they cut into her palm, but she was too focused on the battle below to care.

Nervous she'd hit one of the rioters, she flung the feathers towards the enforcers’ rear guard. Each one pierced the target’s armor, one slicing clean through the officer’s mask. She continued ripping and throwing her feathered blades until she began to bleed from her plucked plumage. Time slowed for her as she watched fire erupt across the bridge, the sound of shouting, fighting the sound of battle. Vander brutalizing an enforcer with his gauntlets, Silco throwing a molotov, Anton giving out Molotovs, Benzo and Dart helping an injured rioter away from the violence, Connol in a fist fight with an officer but his wife was nowhere to be seen.

She was brought back to the moment when she heard a familiar scream. Her head whipped around to see Felicia on the opposite side of the bridge, an enforcer slowly approaching her with a baton. She didn’t think when her legs started to move, focusing only on reaching her friend. Connol was quick to tackle Felicia’s attacker to the ground. Ophelia had almost reached Felicia when a bottle of liquid was tossed from her peripheral view. She froze as her friends were enveloped by flames. Ophelia’s ears were ringing as was thrown back by the blast.

The revolution had failed, it’s members consumed by rage as the riot grew increasingly violent and costly. Zaun would not gain it’s freedom today, Piltover again had shown their dominance over the Undercity. Smoke filled air and burned the lungs of those in the crowd not wearing a mask. Black clouds grew from the parts of the bridge in flames. The riot was starting to simmer down, enforcers now having the control on the crowd, but smoke still clogged the air around the bridge. Coughing, Ophelia moved as quickly as she could towards the exit she came from, trying to dodge corpses that scattered the ground.

Her eyes stung as tears fought their way out. ‘Dart’. Her best friend, the young woman helping run her orphanage, laid lifeless against the bloodstained concrete. Ophelia’s body trembled, her knees crashing on the ground next to Dart’s corpse. “No…” She sobbed, trying to shake her friend awake but to no avail. After a minute of crying over her friend’s body, the enforcer’s screams got louder and closer. Ophelia had to leave if she didn’t want to get arrested. With a heavy heart, she gently closed Dart’s eyes before standing.

Before fleeing, Ophelia stole a glimpse of the City of Progress. It had been unscathed from the riot thanks to the enforcers, the city’s towers glowed golden in the sunlight. Ophelia’s ears ticked at the sound of heavy boots beginning to push further onto the bridge forcing her to flee.

She pushed through the door of The Last Drop. It seemed to had been turned into a makeshift infirmary. The survivors that made their way back were being tended by those who stayed behind. Ophelia felt blood trickling down her face but she had other priorities, walking past volunteer medics. She saw two young girls sobbing in the corner of the room, Benzo was trying to calm them down. "Benzo…" Ophelia started, realizing who the two children were. Powder and Violet's bodies shook violently against Benzo's embrace. "Shhh," He hushed them. He looked up knowingly at Ophelia. "I know." He whispered. He had also seen their parents burn to death. Anger pricked the back of her neck. "Where is Vander?" Before Benzo could ask, the pink haired girl spoke up. "I saw him," Her voice shakey as she wiped her eyes.

"He went to River Pilt."

Embers lazily fell from the bridge, ash blanketed the ground like snow. Ophelia was following the set of footprints, it seemed Vander had been pursuing someone. Her heartrate quickened as she heard a voice. “You!” It was Vander’s. “I saw you throw it!” Her ears trained on the voices. “Don’t do that, I know you did it.” His gruff voice was shouting at someone until a shaking one spoke up. “I-I..I didn’t mean to-” Her ears perked when the other voice was interrupted by the sound of force. She listened in as her pace quickened, hoping to dissolve the situation. ‘Snarling’. ‘Grabbing.’ ‘Choking.’ “They are dead because of you!” Vander’s voice roared.

Ophelia found a clearing and saw her friend in the shallow of the lake under the bridge. “Vander! Stop!” Ophelia ran down the bluff overlooking the lake. He didn’t turn, body slumped to focus on the water beneath him. She halted to a stop when Silco was nowhere to be seen. Her ears honed in on the sound of bubbles erupting from the water where Vander’s arms were submerged.

Her heart sank. ‘Silco.’

In less than a second, Ophelia had run and pounced onto Vander’s back. Her talons sank into his shoulders as she threw weak punches against his head. “Stop! Please!” She begged, her cries echoing off the water. He didn’t relent and, from her position above him, she could see Silco’s silhouette under the water.

‘Drowning.’

Her pleas grew louder, fists beating against him. Suddenly, he screamed in pain when a knife struck him from the water. Ophelia lost her balance and fell off Vander into the water. Her face broke the surface, gasping for air. Despite the toxic filth of the water blurring her vision, she could see red spreading out across the surface. She looked for where the color was the deepest and dived in. Her eyes burned, like she had rubbed them with spice, but she had to persist, she had to find Silco.

There he was. His body was moving lethargically. He was fighting against the water. She’d never seen Silco as frightened as he was in that moment, drowning. She quickly grabbed his shirt and began to pull him to the surface. She struggled, the physical and mental fatigue from the riot, made her feel as if she was lifting a bag of bricks. Knowing he was losing consciousness, she mustered up every bit of her energy to yank him to the surface of the water, it was by sheer will that she managed to do it.

Clouds twisted above them, the sky just as garnet red as the blood flowing from Silco’s face. The feathers on her ear’s ruffled. “How could you!?” She screamed, as Vander faded into the smoke, fleeing. Her voice was coarse, her throat burned from the screaming. Silco’s body laid limp in the murky water, blood pooling around him. Her muscles burned as she dragged Silco ashore. With one final tug she pulled him out of the toxic water, laid on the bank of the river.

Ophelia toppled over in exhaustion, her palms disturbing the ash covered sand beneath them. Trying to remain calm, she scrambled back to her injured friend. Deep gashes had torn through the right side of his face, piercing his eye and continuing down his cheek. She choked on a sob, ripping a piece of fabric from her clothing, pressing it against his wound in an attempt to stop the bleeding. Everything happened too fast for her, but at least her friend was breathing. She cradled his head with her other hand, praying to Janna that he was going to make it. His shallow breaths were weak…

…but he was still alive.

[literaila]

wedding planner (katsuki bakugo smau)

fem!reader, no quirks, adult life au

life as an event planner is... quieter than planned. mina ashido, your best friend, views this as a challenge. so when she gets engaged to eijirou kirishima it’s no big surprise that she asks you to plan the ceremony. the objective is simple: create the most magical, perfect wedding in just four months... oh, and accept the help of someone you've been running from since college--katsuki bakugo, who conveniently hates you. easy, right?

part two | next part

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

hating bakugo katsuki comes quite naturally to you.

it's something simple. an emotion that builds in the middle of your sternum and collects in your head. you've never had to think too hard about him, or the negative feelings he invokes.

it's not that you consider yourself someone to hold grudges or make automatic assumptions. someone who hates on principle rather than facts. glimpses rather than actions.

in fact, you’d rather remain entirely nonjudgmental in most situations—so that you don’t have to worry about any of it. there are very few people in the world that you can truly say you hate.

but since he spoke his first word to you, you’ve hated him.

or maybe that’s not true. you only vaguely remember it all happening now, like a single peek of a dream you once lived.

remember seeing him across the room and feeling that you knew exactly who he was. getting one look and understanding that he just wasn’t someone for you.

blonde hair, blood eyes, and an immediate distaste for anything involving your presence. his jaw was already set, when you approached, mind already made.

it was pretty clear when he just glared, ignoring whoever had introduced the two of you, your hand outstretched towards him, and scoffed before he simply walked away.

so, really, even before bakugo katsuki spoke his first word to you—you hated him.

or maybe not. maybe you just hated the way he was looking past you automatically, maybe you just hated that he was frowning, maybe you just hated being dismissed so easily.

or maybe you hated him and the fact that he made you angry without even trying.

anger is an invasive species. it lingers in the pit of your chest, waiting for some version of confirmation bias you can reason out of.

and once it begins to grow it leaks elsewhere—into the stories you tell, the people you know, the glances and shared breaths.

it’s pretty obnoxious, just like bakugo katsuki. funny how that works, isn't it?

and, to clarify, you have spoken multiple words to him. this is nothing new. in fact, you’ve shouted bitter remarks at his back and cursed at his ever-glowing smirk. in classrooms, at parties, in the old contemptible apartments your friends lived in.

but it’s just so simple to hate him.

maybe that’s why you’re standing in front of a coffee shop you’ve never been to, staring at the door. it’s 1:07 pm.

it would be pretty easy to leave, really. you could turn around and take the train back home. back to your bed, with its comforting embrace, and your consistently sparking coffee machine. it doesn’t taste too burnt, after all, and who doesn't like some roasted grounds?

you’re already late anyway, so what’s the harm in never showing up? who is bakugo going to tell? mina?

(he will. he definitely will tell mina and by that point, you’ll have lost a client and a friend, and bakugo katsuki will be pointing and laughing at the sad remains of your life. he’ll probably spit on your shivering body—you know, once you can no longer afford to live in your apartment because you’ve been fired--just for fun).

fuck. you should’ve blocked his and mina’s number.

someone pushes past you, going for the door, and you blink. right. because you’re supposed to open it, walk through, and meet with bakugo who you already know is going to chastise you for being late. you're supposed to hate him, and it's all supposed to be easy.

you take a breath. nod once.

what the hell?

this is all his fault anyway. you would’ve been perfectly happy with doing all the work by yourself--throwing sticky notes around and ignoring the ink stains left on your face from nights sleeping at your desk--and letting kirishima and mina believe he assisted you.

as fucking if.

so you walk through the door, delighting for one brief moment in the smell of coffee beans and souls searching for rehabilitation.

this coffee shop is a lot nicer than any of the ones by your house. not that bakugo needs to know that, or that he has good taste.

just a thought, really.

you look around for a single second before you spot him. it’s easy—just one glimpse of the black shirt, overbearing shoulders, and frowning face. and every other person in the shop seems to be purposefully avoiding him, walking at least six feet away from the table he’s procured at all times.

if only you were them.

“oi,” he calls, eyes finding you faster than you'd expected, already burning as you walk towards him—against your better judgment, of course. “i know you’re an idiot but you can’t even read a fuckin’ clock, now?”

you pull the open chair out with your foot, giving bakugo a bland look. your eyes burn a little bit, just looking at him. “no, actually, i can't. they must only teach that at snobby prick school.”

you sit, your body resisting the entire time. you might last five minutes being this close to him—at most.

bakugo doesn’t say anything, but one brow goes up.

“sorry,” you say, almost reflexively. you're supposed to be civil. you can hear mina's voice criticizing, telling you to give him a chance. you continue, completely monotone. “hi, bakugo. how are you?”

he glares. “could be a hell of a lot better, that’s for sure.”

“tell me about it.”

and then there’s a moment where you both stare at each other, silent and waiting.

here’s what you know about bakugo: he’s not afraid to say whatever he’s thinking, but he’s also not the easiest person to talk to. not the type of person you’d ever feel at ease with. easy conversation isn't either of your specialties, and neither is being here all by yourselves.

so instead of anything even remotely normal, instead of getting to the point, you break the silence with, “no coffee?”

his eyes dart down to the table and then back to yours. you can see the point of his teeth when he begins to talk. “not all of us are fuckin’ addicted.”

“well, you don’t have to deal with your mood swings every day," you look around, hoping that a double shot isn't as expensive as the decor would suggest.

“such a flatterer," bakugo drawls, leaning back, "i was waitin’ for you before i ordered,” he tilts his head to the register, waiting.

“i can go up there myself. i’m a big girl."

he scoffs. “you’re a big fuckin’ mess, that’s for sure. and fuckin' broke, according to raccoon eyes. you know what you want?”

“what i want is to get out of here as soon as possible. so thanks, but no thanks. i don’t need any coffee.”

“ya sure, crazy eyes?” he's smirking like he already knows that he got you.

your eyes narrow. “don’t call me that.”

“think i'll call you whatever the hell i want.”

“then i think this partnership is already over. promise broken.”

“tch," bakugo taps a finger against the table, "i think you’ll fuckin’ reconsider once you take a good look in the mirror—did you sell your bed for some shitty cash?”

“did you sell your soul for a first-class superiority complex?” you retort, so brightly it's almost innocent.

bakugo only rolls his eyes. “didn’t you agree to come here, dumbass?”

“didn’t you demand that i show up?”

bakugo’s lip twitches, minutely. he sighs, turning an arm over to check his watch. he moves calculatingly, both of you waiting for another moment to pounce. but there isn’t time for that.

you could spout insults at him for hours, and he could do just the same. it's happened before.

but time won't slow down for that, and you've only got seventy-three days left to figure everything out.

bakugo waves a hand towards you, gesturing at your bag. “just fuckin’ show me what you have already.”

“why should i?”

he scoffs. “okay don’t. try gettin' shit done all by your goddamn self. least ill get a laugh when you crash and burn.”

“this is literally my job—“

“so show me what you fuckin’ got,” bakugo leans forward, speaking soft enough for it to be a whisper, but vehemently for it to be a threat.

and it’s safe to say that you’ve heard a lot of those from him.

“fine,” you grind out, not wanting to lose, or to let him win, but someone will have to give eventually--and bakugo can watch in awe as you figure it out yourself. he can beg at your feet for something to do. (he can talk to kirishima about what you should be doing and report back to mina to mess up your lift even more). win or lose, you don't break eye contact as you grab your bag, shoving around until you find your planner.

not that there’s a lot of planning being done. it's mainly doodles and spare numbers you’ve written down and never called. but bakugo doesn’t need to know that. he just needs to know that you're a professional, and you'll professionally shove his words back into his throat until they reach his stomach.

you flip to a page with a list of tasks that still need to be done, pen smeared across the page. none of them have been checked off--but that's not exactly your fault. you'd be getting a lot more done if bakugo hadn't made you come here... probably.

“i’ve scheduled a couple tours of venues mina told me she liked,” you say, sharp, tactful. you point to random notes on the page, hoping he can’t read. “but not for a couple of weeks. there’s cake testing, a meeting with a florist, billing from a designer mina chose, catering options, and i—“

“have you made any decisions?”

you purse your lips, moving the planner back towards you. “it’s been a month.”

he laughs. “so that’s a fuckin’ no.”

“it’s not that simple,” you tell him, snidely. “i need to talk to mina and kiri about options and it’s not like they’re going to choose right away so—“

“shitty hair told me you were taking care of it.”

“yes, that’s what a wedding planner does,” you smile. “good job, bakugo.”

he bares a canine, grinning. “no, smart ass. he said you get to make every damn decision. that they trust you to figure shit out.”

“i still need to double-check and make sure they’re happy with the progress—“

“sounds like you’re too fuckin' scared to do it yourself.” he leans back for the first time in two minutes, arms crossed against his chest.

that’s another thing you hate about bakugo katsuki. he takes all of the air and spits it right back at you. he's like a reverse black hole--just meaner.

“why would i be scared?”

“because you’re a shitty event planner.”

he's testing you, you know. trying to get a rise out of you because he can always do it so easily. trying to rile you up so he can win, so you'll walk out of the door and he'll get to say that he tried, that he was being a good friend--

and damn it, it's working. it's going to work. but you have very little dignity left, and no patience for bakugo katsuki and his arrogance.

“well,” you start, standing up. your chair screeches across the floor, a protest all of its own. “it’s been so lovely meeting with you, bakugo, but i think we’re—“

“am i fuckin' wrong?” he asks, serious, watching you with clinical eyes.

“are you a jackass?” you answer, shoving your notebook back into your bag. he doesn't deserve your lists, your time, or any of the energy you've given to him so willingly.

he snorts. “you’ve never planned a damn wedding. you have no fuckin’ clue what you’re doing.”

“oh, wow," you nod your head enthusiastically, "you know what, you’re really something,” you say, giving him another sickly sweet smile.

bakugo hasn't flinched at you once in the almost decade you've known him and maybe that's the thing you hate the most. hate that every emotion is written on your face in some fine ink, but he's a blank slate. hate that he gets to sit there and berate you, make you feel small, and have no repercussions for it.

hate that he's just looking at you, waiting for you. hate him so much.

you continue anyway. “not everyone would be able to figure out that i’m worried about messing up my best friend’s wedding—“ bakugo tries to cut in, but you hold a hand up. “no, really. it's pretty amazing, bakugo. you should think about going back to school for a common sense degree, since you’re so fucking great at using it," you shake your head, turning away abruptly.

you know that he’s still smirking.

“i’m not too proud to admit that i'm scared, bakugo. some of us can deal with our emotions.”

“ya sure?" he sounds amused. "cause it seems like you’ve got fuckin’ jack done and don’t know what to do next. wouldn’t call that dealing with your fuckin’ fear. i’d call it being a coward. freezing instead of tryin' to do a fuckin' thing.”

you glare at the wall in front of you, feeling bad for the person just sitting on their computer in your line of sight. “so what? it's not like you’re doing anything to help. you have no idea how to plan anything, so don't act like you'd do any better than me.”

“you fuckin’ sure about that?” you hear a loud noise, and bakugo is standing right beside you, his looming presence a brand at your side. “i’ve never planned a wedding but i know how to get shit done.”

you snort, finally looking at him again. “uh-huh.”

he sneers. “i’ll fuckin’ show you. c’mon.”

your pause, eyes narrowing. people are moving around the two of you, coffee cups exuding steam, eyes curious as they roam over you. bakugo taps his pockets, not bothering to notice a single one of them, and then moves beside you, heading towards the door.

“wha—what?" you ask, frowning. "where are you going?

“you gonna stand there like a damn idiot, or are you going to fuckin’ follow me?” he doesn’t turn his head, just keeps going.

and even though you’d never follow bakugo katsuki anywhere, even though you’d rather die than be alone with him, rather be broke and friendless than plan a wedding with him—you start walking.

“what the hell,” you say, and have to speed up to catch him.

if hating bakugo is easy, then following him is even easier.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

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[aois-amaterasu-painting]

MusiQ vol.13 - Aoi (August 2008)

葵 - the GazettE

Inner Landscapes

"It’s probably different from what you imagine…"

Shining a spotlight on Aoi not just as a member of the GazettE, but as an individual artist and human being—a perspective not easily discerned from his band persona.

THEME INTERVIEW - 1

"Friendship"

― Do you have many friends? "I think I have few."

― Has it always been that way? "Not really. Back in school, it felt like everyone was friends. I used to hang out in big groups. There were three middle schools in our area, but school or grade didn’t really matter. Since we’d known each other since we were little, we called each other by our first names instead of our last names."

― Do you still keep in touch with your school friends? "I do with some, but a lot of people have left Mie, and I’ve lost contact with some of them."

― What does 'friend' mean to you? "A friend is someone you don’t have to act polite around. I’m very considerate and sensitive, so a friendship where we can say things like, 'Aren’t you hungry? Let’s go grab a meal'. Friendship isn’t something you decide, like 'Let’s become friends.' It’s more like realizing one day that someone has always been there beside you."

― Are the band members different from friends? "It’s a bit different. With the members, sometimes I feel like I need to be considerate, and there are things that are hard to say. Sometimes I wonder, 'What do they think?' I think you shouldn’t let things get too casual. If you have a relationship where you just let things slide, it can affect the music… Also, it’s a little awkward. It’s hard for me to talk about a lot of things with the members."

― Do you have friends nearby now? "I don’t think there’s anyone in Tokyo I could truly call a friend."

― Isn’t that lonely? "It is. But I don’t really leave the house much. I can’t even go out to eat alone. During tours, I often just get food from convenience stores. When I go back to Mie, I meet up with my friends there. At home, I’m outgoing and go to various places. But in Tokyo, I can’t quite adapt. I hate crowds, and being a country boy at heart, I still struggle to get used to the city."

THEME INTERVIEW - 2

"Love"

― What are you like when you’re in love? "I’m considerate (laughs)."

― Men and women focus on different things when being considerate. What do you focus on? "Everything (laughs)."

― So, you must be very kind, then? "That’s why it’s exhausting. Honestly, I’m the kind of person who doesn’t want to do anything. I like to just relax and laze around."

― Then, would you prefer someone you don’t have to be considerate toward? "Not really. I think I’d end up being considerate with anyone. Maybe after 10 or 20 years together, it’d be different, but who knows?"

― Do you also pay attention to their emotional state, like asking, 'Are you okay?' "Ah, I do say things like that. Probably to the point of being annoying (laughs)."

― What do you look for in a woman? "I don’t want someone who expects too much from me. Like constantly saying 'Hey, hey!'—I’d rather not deal with that (laughs). I’d like her to keep some distance and not be too clingy. I’d like them to be able to live on their own strength (laughs)."

― So, you prefer independent women? "Yes, that’s definitely easier. Someone who isn’t working is already out of the question (laughs)."

― Not even working a part-time job? "I’d want her to work part-time at least four days a week (laughs). Since I’m often away, being attached all the time would be tiring. I think a person who’s independent, leaves me to my own space, and has her own opinions is attractive."

― Even if she’s a little strong-willed? "That’s totally fine. Though, if they’re outright combative, that’d be annoying (laughs)."

― You prefer someone who’s career-oriented? "Well, if they’re working six days a week, that’s a problem. If we can’t see each other at all, that’d be lonely, wouldn’t it?"

― (laughs) That’s tricky. "I’m waiting for someone like that (laughs)."

THEME INTERVIEW - 3

"Family"

― Can you tell us about your family structure? "My dad, mom, older sister, older brother, and me."

― Is there a big age gap between you and your older sister and brother? "Yes, there is. My sister is nine years older, and my brother is seven years older."

― What’s something you’re glad about being the youngest? "I’m not sure, but according to my sister and brother, my dad didn’t yell at me that much (laughs). 'Dad told you to at least go to high school, and you went, but when you quit after the first semester, he didn’t say anything.'"

― Were you raised surrounded by love? "Was I? I don’t know. Since there’s a big age gap, by the time I entered middle school, my sister wasn’t at home anymore, and my brother had already moved out. My dad was working away from home, so he only came back on weekends. I was mostly at home with just my mom."

― So, were you a mama’s boy? "Well, I don’t know. I love both my parents."

― Do you think you’ve been a good son to your parents? "No, I’d say I’m still mostly in the 'bad son' phase (laughs)."

― Do you call them sometimes? "I do. When there’s a final live in Tokyo, they come to stay at my place."

― Isn’t that a nice way to show gratitude? "Well, when they come over, food gets stocked up, so I think, 'Great!' (laughs)."

― Does your mom read the magazines you’re in? "Yes, she does. My parents’ house is crazy. When you open the front door, there’s Gazette stuff everywhere—posters, autographs, everything."

― Anything you’d like to say to your mom? "Mom, thank you for everything (laughs)."

― How do you think fans perceive you, Aoi? "Eh? I think i'm probably different from what they imagine. Fans probably think I'm very serious…"

― Are you very serious? "Yeah, well they might think I just sit in front of my PC all the time, making music. But no, no (laughs)."

― So it’s far from the truth? "Completely different (laughs). I guess it's because I only talk about that kind of stuff in interviews. Like, ‘I’m always making music’"

― But in reality? "In reality, I do sit in front of my PC, but I take a break every hour (laughs). I can’t keep my focus for long. I’ll suddenly go play darts and then think, ‘Let’s have some coffee.’"

― I get it. You want to take breaks constantly. "Exactly. I spend so much time on breaks that the day just flies by (laughs). Also, I don’t get started unless there’s a deadline looming. That hasn’t changed since the days of summer vacation homework."

― Like panicking on August 30th or 31st? "I really rush then. That’s why I often say I pull all-nighters, but that’s only when I’m pushing myself at the last minute. I’m making music now, but it’s hard to get started. So, I try to meditate sometimes."

― Really? "Well, it’s more like zoning out while watching TV (laughs). I’m always thinking about music. But unless I solidify the image in my mind first, I can’t start. If I don’t carefully plan it, things won’t fit together, and I hate that. If even one part feels lame, it really bothers me. I want to put out something I’m truly satisfied with. Maybe that’s why people think I’m serious.

― How do you unwind at home? "Basically, any time I’m not sitting at my PC (laughs). I used to work in the living room, but when I turned around and saw the bathroom or other distractions, it was hard to focus. So now I’ve moved all my equipment to a plain room near the front door."

― The bathroom is a distraction? "The bath is amazing, right? Don’t you feel refreshed? It’s great, but if I’m not careful, I’ll end up having a beer after my bath. And then it’s game over—I just go to bed. But I usually come up with songs in the bath."

― Then it’s an amazing space, isn’t it? "Yeah, but it has its risks too, so it’s a double-edged sword. But when I’m in the bath, I think that’s when I’m the most 'in the zone."

― In the zone? "In my mind, yeah. I’m not actually dancing in the bathroom. In my mind, I’m having an intense live performance. Of course, it’s for a new original song."

葵 - the GazettE

Inner Landscapes

"It’s probably different from what you imagine…"

Shining a spotlight on Aoi not just as a member of the GazettE, but as an individual artist and human being—a perspective not easily discerned from his band persona.

― Aoi, you have this laid-back, unique vibe that feels reminiscent of old-school rock musicians. "What, like I’m careless? (laughs)"

― No, no, that’s not what I meant. I heard you learned guitar from your older brother? "Yeah, that’s right. Back in his high school days, during his rebellious phase, my brother was in a band and played guitar. It looked like a lot of fun, so I wanted to join in, but he kicked me out (laughs). Instead, he gave me one guitar, a book with chords and lyrics in it, and said, 'Here, I'll lend you this. Go practice downstairs.' So I started practicing around middle school."

― What kind of songs were you practicing back then? "I practiced songs by X Japan using chords. But it was on a classical guitar, so it wasn't really rock at all (laughs). Then, after my brother graduated from high school, I asked him for his guitar, and that’s when I got my first electric guitar—but it was broken."

― Oh no, so no sound came out even when you connected it to an amp? "Yeah. I had saved up all my New Year’s money and had my dad take me to buy a small amp. I was so excited. But when I got home and there was no sound, I just started crying."

― (Laughs) That’s such a disappointment. "Totally. But from late elementary school to my third year of middle school, I was delivering newspapers. So in middle school, I saved up and bought my own electric guitar. It was the best thing ever! I was so happy that I even slept with the guitar. That time in my life was super busy. I’d deliver newspapers in the morning, go to school during the day, play baseball in the school club, and then practice guitar at night before going to bed. I didn’t even have time to do homework."

― It sounds like you didn’t have much motivation from the start. "Not at all. Kids are busy, you know? (laughs) But after I dropped out of high school, I stopped playing guitar. I wanted to become a professional musician, but my brother told me how tough the reality of it was. It kind of crushed my dream. My brother really loved music too, but he ended up working a normal job. So I thought, Yeah, that’s just how it goes."

― So you decided to take a different path. "Yeah, I was kind of aimlessly drifting along, and at the time, the older brother of a girl I was dating was into surfing."

― (Laughs) Another older brother. "Right. I can’t seem to do anything without someone else’s influence (laughs). But when I tried surfing, I was like, This is fun! Most people say they can’t stand on the board at first, but I was able to stand right away. I thought, I’ve got talent for this."

― Did you think, I’m going to be a pro surfer!? "Yeah, I was aiming for it. The word 'pro' just sounds cool, doesn’t it? Like being a professional baseball player or something."

― So you’ve always been drawn to careers in the spotlight? "Looks like it (laughs). I even entered surfing competitions. Actually, the first time I was featured in a magazine, it was in a surfing magazine (laughs)."

― How long were you into surfing? "About two or three years, I think. I had so much energy back then. I’d go to the ocean in the morning, take a nap at noon, head back to the ocean in the evening, and then work at night."

― Busy as ever. "Yeah, super busy. That was my life. But one night, I was watching a late-night TV show, and they featured an indie band. I got this idea in my head, like, I could do better than them. Once I thought that—well, here we are. In the end I decided, “Alright, I’m going to Tokyo”. Just like that (laughs)."

― But you weren’t even in a band at the time, right? "No, I wasn't. But I thought, If I go to Tokyo, I’ll figure it out somehow. That same day, I told my parents about it. Of course, I couldn’t just quit my job immediately, so I worked for another month, then said, Alright, I’m off. During that month, I practiced guitar like crazy."

― That’s pretty reckless. "Definitely reckless. Even I think I was stupid (laughs). Like, What was I even thinking?"

― But that’s the important part, isn’t it? "Sure, it worked out now, so it’s fine, but if it hadn’t, I’d just be a fool (laughs). So I arrived in Tokyo with no money, no place to stay, and I thought I might just take a live-in newspaper delivery job. But then an acquaintance said, My sister and her husband live in Tokyo—why don’t you stay with them for a while? I thought, This is too good to be true! (laughs). They even helped me find a job, and I worked part-time while putting together a band. One of the people I played with back then was actually the previous drummer of the GazettE."

― That kind of lifestyle must have contributed to that "rock" vibe you give off. "Now that I think about it, my parents were probably the most rock and roll part of the whole thing for letting me go to Tokyo (laughs). They gave me just enough money for a round trip, probably thinking I’d be back in no time. And then seven, eight years went by, and here we are (laughs)."

― What does your brother, the one who taught you guitar, say now that you’ve made it big with the GazettE? "He doesn’t say anything directly. But my brother’s wife showed me a video she secretly filmed, and in it, my brother was playing a cover of a GazettE song (laughs)."

― (laughs) The roles are reversed now. "I thought, "Big Bro, you're doing great!". Maybe you're a little better than me (laughs)"

― (laughs) So, how do you think the band members perceive you? "I’m not really sure. I don't really want to ask or know about it, to be honest. It would suck if they thought weird things about me, right?"

― (laughs) But you’re sensitive, so you must think about things like that. "I think about it a lot. (laughs). For some reason, Uruha seems a bit distant toward me. I don’t know if it’s because I’m older or because we’re both guitarists. Of course, we talk a lot during the creative process, but outside of that, not so much. That bothers me a bit (laughs)."

― A curious sense of distance. "Yeah, like... in a group photo kind of way (laughs). But he’s still within reach, you know? Back in the day, we used to share hotel rooms on tour, and we’d talk a lot about what kind of sound we wanted to create. But now, we’re in separate rooms, and compared to then, we don’t talk as much. I feel a bit lonely (laughs)."

― You could just start a conversation. "But I wouldn’t know what to say (laughs). I see him chatting happily with everyone else, and I think, good for him (laughs). Just the other day, even though I felt awkward, I called him and asked, Hey, Uruha, how do you watch terrestrial digital broadcasts? And he replied, You should probably just ask someone at the electronics store about that (laughs)."

― (laughs) You're embarrassed.

"Well, I’m not gay or anything (laughs)."

― (laughs) I didn’t mean that at all. "Well, lately Uruha is the one I find myself thinking about the most in the GazettE."

― But listening to you talk, it seems like you’re shy. It’s as if you don’t want to be seen as too serious about it. "Shy—that’s a nice way to put it (laughs). There’s just something awkward about being with the members. When we’re doing music, we speak our minds, we get angry, we say whatever we need to. But outside of that, even saying, Let’s grab something to eat, feels hard to say. If they said no, it would hurt, wouldn’t it? I’d regret even asking... (laughs). So I usually invite the manager instead, but when he says no, I get annoyed (laughs). Like, You don’t have the right to say no to me! (laughs). Honestly, though, I’d love to eat with everyone and just talk. I guess this is what being shy is about."

― So that’s why you end up being alone? "Yeah. Maybe I don’t actually like being alone. It might just be that I don’t have a choice (laughs). Am I lonely?! Because of this, when this magazine is released, I’m thinking of secretly buying it and leaving it at the members’ houses (laughs)."

― (laughs) Got it. Lastly, the GazettE is currently working on new material, right? "Yeah, we’re really diving into it. When we worked on the last single, Guren, it was during a tour, but now we’re in an environment where we can fully concentrate, so the songs are really powerful. It’s not so much about the style of the music, though."

― Is it influenced by the energy you got from the tour? "Yeah, that’s part of it. The band is really in an aggressive mode right now. We’re sharp, you could say. So, if you’re not careful, you might get taken by surprise. If you underestimate us, you’ll get burned. Right now, we’re fired up. And if it turns out to be a ballad... Then, well... my bad (laughs).

― (laughs) "But honestly, I’m really excited right now. We’re putting everything we have into making these songs. Everyone’s gotten super dedicated, so I think there will be some intense clashes in the studio. At the very least, I’m planning to bring the heat."

― You’re usually so considerate, though. "When we’re creating, though, there’s no room for being considerate. If you compromise in music, then it’s over. I really believe that."

― Aoi, you also get various comments about the songs and phrases you come up with, right? "When I’m working on the basic elements, I take in feedback. But once the song moves to the next stage, I present it by saying, This is how the song is, and this is my vision. But especially with Uruha, I get nervous. If he says, Yeah, it’s good, it feels like I’ve won. I’ll do a little fist pump in my mind (laughs)."

― You’ve also got a live show at Fuji-Q Highland Conifer Forest on August 23rd, right? "Yeah, it’s our first outdoor live in two years, so I want it to feel a bit like a festival. Last time at Tokyo Big Sight, we had fireworks and food stalls, so this time, being at Fuji-Q, it’ll be a completely different atmosphere. We’re looking forward to it, and I’m sure you all are too, right?"

― So, better finish your homework early. "Yeah, that's right. If I don't finish it by the 30th, I probably won’t be able to show up at our live show properly (laughs)."

A band is nothing without live shows

What a rock band should be

~the GazettE~

Written by Hiroko Yamamoto

I hardly know anything about the GazettE's indie days. The only thing I remember is seeing them perform at an event when Shibuya’s O-WEST was still called ON AIR WEST. However, I vividly remember that time. It felt almost like a spell. Perhaps it was the atmosphere on stage, including the fanaticism of the fans, that gave me a sense of fear.

Although it’s not included in this interview, Aoi mentions that during the early tours, even when they went to Hokkaido, they didn’t have the budget to stay in hotels. He recalls sleeping in the car during the dead of winter and being warned by a police officer the next morning, "If you sleep here, you'll freeze to death." In the DVD, he also says that the GazettE is a band that took the long route. In an era where you can search anything with a cell phone or a computer, opting not to take shortcuts but instead relentlessly performing live across the country is, in my opinion, a lot more demanding than it would have been for bands active 20 or 30 years ago. After all, when you start drawing a crowd, temptations are everywhere.

When I asked during an interview for their single Guren why they continued to play so many live shows, their response was crystal clear: “Simply put, a band is all about performing live.”, “If you neglect that, it’s like denying everything.”, “If people don’t come to see us live, there’s no point.”, “Even interviews and photoshoots are ultimately connected to our live shows.” This stubborn and resolute attitude hasn’t changed at all, even as they enter their seventh year as a band. I believe that even when the GazettE celebrates their 10th or 20th anniversary, they will still give the same answer. They describe themselves as awkward, but perhaps they’ve always been focused on what truly matters, while eliminating anything they consider impure.

One result of that is their grand final shows at Osaka-jo Hall and the two-day performance at the Yoyogi National Gymnasium. The overwhelming, thunderous cheers they received were proof that their fans were thirsting for the GazettE. The heat and energy in the venue were so intense that the microphones set up for recording were nearly toppling over. In the midst of that incredible atmosphere, the GazettE stood tall, poised and composed. They played their music and exchanged energy with those who needed it. There was no pretension, nor any forced attempts at unification. Everything unnecessary was stripped away. What remained were songs and performances that stirred the soul—the essence of what a rock band should be. No matter how common downloads become, no matter how advanced technology gets and how perfectly crafted recorded music becomes, it will never compare to the immediacy and thrill of a live performance. The GazettE probably knew that long ago…

Review

Highly acclaimed! The writer's “post-interview” review.

葵 (the GazettE)

Aoi’s first solo interview. He had analyzed himself as a sensitive and thoughtful person, which was absolutely true. Although he was a little shy during the questions, he still made me laugh and was very attentive to the atmosphere of the conversation. Still, that doesn’t mean he came across like the “friendly older brother” type. The unique aura and sensuality of a true rock musician were unshaken throughout the interview—something that left a lasting impression. I knew about the GazettE’s fierce dedication to their music, where heated arguments are commonplace, but I was surprised to learn that in everyday conversation, Aoi finds it awkward to even say, “Wanna grab a meal?”(laughs). His shy side as a guitarist shines through, even as he sneakily sends messages (or pleas?) to his bandmates through the magazine.

―――――――――― ―――――――――― ――――――――――

Scans cr: The Archive Translation: ChatGPT

[technicolorxsn]

wow okay

[moth-mart]

"I need them to die in eachothers arms and for it to mean something" then proceeded to make a terrible. horrible punch to the gut

[bmpmp3]

for the past couple years ive been slowly. slowly learning beginners japanese and its very fun and im enjoying it a lot but also it has made me painfully aware in ways i wasnt before of how much my specific vaguely ontario accent makes me make out sloppy style with my vowels. i am going at those vowel's tonsils. i am doing things to diphthongs you wouldnt even believe.

[just-rogi]

We had to do a diversity exercise at work today and the (white) proctor asked all the teachers if we knew anyone who felt like they belonged to two groups… except the entire room was female teachers of color it felt so fucking stupid

[madlori]

On being an older fangirl

I was probably 10 years old when I first conceived of what was, looking back, fanfiction. Me and my best friend would lie in bed together on sleepovers and I'd make up stories about what happened after the end of our favorite book, "The Westing Game." She'd ask me for more stories, and I'd tell her more, inventing them as I went along. "Then what?" she'd say.

I was 14 when I went to my first convention. I had discovered Star Trek: The Next Generation. It was 1987, and my youth pastor was a huge Trekkie. He took me to a one-day crappy Creation con, but it was amazing to me. I met Nichelle Nichols. My dad showed me the Trek movies. He and I watched TNG together.

When I went to college in 1991, my dad used to videotape TNG episodes onto VHS tapes and mail them to me, so I could keep watching (I didn't have TV in my dorm room).

By the time I was a senior, we had Trek watching parties in the dorm lounge, where the TV had cable. Star Trek: Voyager had started up, and I wrote a column about it for the college newspaper. I joined a mailing list about it, with people in it that I still know today.

I got my first computer that could go online in 1995. I was on newsgroups. I discovered Doctor Who. I went to Trek conventions where we still passed around fanzines containing fic and art and smutty K/S fan creations.

Then it was Harry Potter. Then there were websites. Then there was Geocities, where we could all make our own little spots. We organized them into webrings. We talked on newsgroups and mailing lists. There were fanfic archives. Then there was fanfiction.net.

Then...there was LiveJournal. And we could interact in entirely new ways. We could form communities, and debate things, and fight over canon, and get into ship wars. On LiveJournal, I met my best friend of 22 years. I was in her wedding. She's my sister of the heart (which is what she calls me).

Then there was Tumblr. And Twitter. And now there's Discord. But it's all the same.

I am the same.

I am still that little girl who made up fanfiction in her head to entertain her best friend. I am still the one who was amazed to find communities on the internet - which was so new, so raw, so uncommodified - where others like me could meet. I found there people to meet in real life.

I am still that twentysomething going to her first major convention, being told that someone loved my fic, being asked about my writing process.

I am still that thirtysomething watching something I wrote blow up. Seeing friends from other fandoms find me in new ones, finding them there, too. Forgetting which fandom I know someone from, because I've known them for twenty years.

I still know some of the people who created those early websites, those mailing lists, those archives. I still meet people in new fandoms who say "Oh, I read your fic in [fandom] fifteen years ago!" There's no feeling quite like having someone remember something you wrote for that long. Or meeting someone whose fic meant a lot to YOU, or who you talked with on rec.arts.drwho.creative in 1997.

Aging in fandom is a gift. Being middle-aged in fandom is a joy. Having people who still read what I write and ask "Then what?" is a blessing.

It breaks my heart that so many people see it as something to be ashamed of, when it is one of my life's greatest gifts.

[oatmealaddiction]

Okay but the weirdest thing about the whole "Brotherhood is better you should skip 03" discourse that's become commonplace now, it sort of forgets the world Brotherhood came out in and why you should watch the original Fullmetal Alchemist. When Brotherhood came out, the original Fullmetal Alchemist was one of the most beloved and most watched animes of all time. Brotherhood assumes you the audience have already seen it because of course you have, everyone has seen it, so it skips important information and speeds the story up because it doesn't want to bore you with things you already know. Have you ever wondered "hey why does the first episode of Brotherhood kind of suck, and why am I being introduced to like 50 new characters, and why are they acting like I know what the hell an alchemist is?" It's because Brotherhood thinks you've seen 03.

The first 7 or so episodes of Brotherhood constitute dozens of chapters in the manga, and the first 25 or so episodes of the original Fullmetal Alchemist. The Nina Tucker episode in Brotherhood, in FMA 03 takes up nearly three episodes. Yoki gets a backstory in 03 and it's genuinely one of the best episodes and taken directly from the manga and Brotherhood glosses over it because: duh, you've already seen it. And so if you skip the original you miss out on dozens of really great character building episodes like Ed and Al meeting Hughes for the first time and getting to spend a whole episode helping him free a train from terrorists, or Ed and Roy having a duel that expands on the relationship they have, or episodes where the brothers just help out random people in towns before the major story gets going.

The original also paces itself quite a bit better than Brotherhood and is more in line with the mangas storytelling. In the manga we don't find out about The Gate until nearly two dozen chapters in, and the same goes for the original anime. Like, that's a twist reveal in those stories, and it's weird that the most watched series is the one where they tell you all about The Gate in the first two episodes because they assume you've already seen the original show.

What's more, people don't know that Hiromu Arakawa helped write for the anime while she was still in the middle of writing the manga, and as a result was inspired to write scenes in Brotherhood that the anime did first. That scene of Edward getting impaled by a falling beam? Directly inspired by a similar scene in the original anime. There's a lot of little instances of that and they're great when you can recognize parallels and things in Brotherhood that are direct references to the original anime, but people don't notice any of that anymore. Because the original anime is just an automatic skip these days, and it's a bummer because people don't realize what a giant it was back before Brotherhood was released. They treat it as *bad,* not realizing it was one of the most beloved anime of its time and the problems people take issue with have a lot more to do with personal taste than any kind of actual flaw in the writing. Brotherhood was never meant to dethrone it, and the original anime was always supposed to be part of the viewing experience which is why those first few episodes of Brotherhood are so fast paced. So like, please stop telling people Fullmetal Alchemist 2003 is a skip, or it's bad, or you don't need it because Brotherhood is better. Regardless if you think Brotherhood is better or not, the original wrote Brotherhood's check. It was huge, it was beloved, and Brotherhood is *banking* on the knowledge you've seen all of it and loved it. And trust me when I say there is so much to love about the original series. It's still my favorite branch of the FMA franchise, and it's worth your time, I promise you.

[kamitv]

Saw a pottery video earlier and started thinking about Nanami and how he’d definitely take pottery classes just for fun.

You miraculously attend a class one weekend and meet him there, watching the way his thick fingers dive in and out of the clay over and over and over—secretly wishing that it was your cunt he was sinking those lengthy digits into.

The veins in his hand bulge with every firm press of his fingertips into the moist clay and lord knows your thoughts are everywhere else except for the instructions he’s giving you.

Even when you work on the same item as him and as he guides your noticeably smaller fingers against the steadily molding clay, you can’t keep the erotic thoughts out.

He’d be right there, practically in your ear, hushing out a low, “Juuust like that sweetheart, right there.” In that sexy deep baritone voice of his.

If you weren’t squeezing your legs together before, you damn sure are now.

Hours in and you swore he was doing it on purpose, slipping his smoothly surfaced fingers in between yours and forcing you to curl your digits against the clay as he teased you with his words, “Feel right here? This spot’s important,” You don’t know a damn thing about clay or pottery but you’re pretty sure there’s no reason for him to be speaking like that over some weathered rock.

“Dig in there nice ‘n deep,” Nanami hums right against the shell of your ear. You can feel his hot breath tickling your skin and your lips part to let out an all too lustful breath of air.

Even while he was correcting something you did wrong, your mind was spinning. He’d ease your hands out and whisper yet again, “Not like that, watch me.” Nanami would instruct, tipping his head to the side to find your eyes and watch you watch his hands.

It’s definitely purposeful the way he slides only his middle and ring finger against the wet clay in a downward motion. Then he’s talking again and you’re soaked. “Like this. In and out, sweetheart. Carefully and slowly. Wouldn’t want it to break, would you?” Each word is dripping with a husked tone that makes your legs glue together.

And when he leans in even closer, your breath noticeable hitches. “I’m gonna need an answer from those pretty lips,” He hushes out, voice barely above a whisper.

It’s like it was only you and him in the room—despite there being many other people with their prospective partners or teachers.

Your lips are shaky as they part, “N-No, I-“

“Look at me,” He orders.

Your spine stiffens and your eyes flick up to meet his, only for your lashes to flutter as if to mask the heat that overcomes your flustered expression.

Nanami gives you a kind smile, “There she is. Now, what was that? I couldn’t hear you, you’ll have to speak up a bit for me, pretty girl.”

Your heart clearly wants to jump out of your chest at the intimate eye contact he’s giving you and his gentle words. All as his fingers still dig in and out of the nearby clay. Clearing your throat, you shake your head, “I was s-saying no, I don’t want it to break.”

He nods at your every word and you swear his eyes linger on the outline of your lips far longer than they should be. “Mhm, exactly. Now try again for me.” Nanami requests.

You swallow the lump in your throat and move your hands over to the clay once more. Your entire body feels hot and you pretty much lose your mind when he slides closer to you.

“Careful with the tip, it’s sensitive,” He whispers directly into your ear. Truth be told, he was referring the the edges of what seems to be a small pot forming but, that didn’t matter to you at the moment.

You nod again, “Sorry.”

He hums quietly to acknowledge your little apology and then his hands cup yours again, molding your fingers to almost sensually slide in and out of the forming pot.

Nanami’s lips graze your ear this time and you sigh a little too heavily. “She’ll be set out to dry later but, listen to how wet she is. It’s almost lewd.” He purrs, making your lashes bat at the way he refers to the pot as she instead of an it.

“N-Nanami, I don’t think—“

“Kento,” He corrects, “You can call me Kento.”

You gulp, “Are you-, are we still uhm, talking about pottery?”

The man lets out a low chuckle and he shakes his head, “What else could I be talking about that’s wet and makes lewd noises when you touch it? Hm?”

Oh he’s such a fucking tease.

“N-Nothing, sorry.” Lord knows if you stutter one more time you’re going to lose your damn mind. This is just embarrassing at this point.

“Are you sure?” He presses on, forcing your fingers deeper into the pot ahead. “Because if there’s something else you’d like to talk to me about, I’m all ears.”

Your face is burning. “No. There’s nothing else,” You try to mask your nervousness through words spoken without a stutter but the slight shake in your tone wasn’t helping much.

Nanami hums deeply, the sound vibrating against his throat. “Mmmh, but there is, isn’t there?” He points out, dropping his voice even lower as he moves his lips against your ear again, “Every time I open my mouth, your thighs clench together. Something tells me this soon-to-be pot isn’t the only thing wet right now.”

“I, uhm…” You sigh, “I—“

“It’s okay, I know these sessions can be quite arousing, pretty girl.” Nanami talks to you so quietly and gently, like he’s known what he’s been doing since the start.

“I’m not-, uh,” All you can do is sigh and try to control the constant pulsing in between your legs.

You feel him smile against the shell of your ear before he utters, “Just admit it, you’re soaked.”

How could you not be? Especially when he talks to you like that. “I…”

“Say it for me.” Nanami urges, “I promise I’ll help you after this if you admit it.”

You’ve never admitted to something faster in your life, “O-Okay, fine. Yeah, I am…”

Nanami’s fingers sensually slip against yours, “Good girl.” He hums. You’re so fucked. “See? Was that so hard?” He asks rhetorically, “Now, once we finish with this, I’ll be sure that you do as well.”

All you can do is nod blankly, “Okay…” Then a moment passes as his word truly sink in and you realize what he meant. “Wait, what—“