#and like maybe it's fine cause it ends on a positive note with being hopeful and grateful and everything but it's still a little venty

[winniebell]

how dumb do I be with my tik tok posting?

[milessunflowers]

So imagine a Driver!Male!reader that had a crash. Like a bad crash. like a BAD crash. yk, concussions maybe a car that blew up... You know the drill. How would some of the drivers react if that's THEM who caused the crash? Imagine the normal friendly rivalry with drivers. Yeah that. Who would blame themselves? Who would overly apologize? Who would not say aNything in the first few days after the crash?

this one is interesting! i think im gonna do this in team categories for the whole grid (including jack and logan bc i can)

driver!male reader x 2025 f1 grid + logan (seperately)

synopsis: how the drivers would react to their on track rival crashing because of them

author's note: i lowkey am loving this ngl i might start doing more full grid fics, so feel free to request them! like genuinely this is fun! most of these can be read as platonic or romantic, though their are certain ones that are a bit more romantic because i thought it would fit better. also fair warning, these progressively get longer because i got carried away, plus some suggestive stuff (just brief mentions of fucking)

MCLAREN

OSCAR PIASTRI: he really had no idea how it all happened. one minute you two are racing into turn four and the next you are gone. you weren't behind him nor were you ahead. it was only then did he realize that you were in the wall. a safety car was deployed to ensure your safety as you were trying to get out. the stewards eventually got you out and you were taken to medical to be checked out. lucky for you, you were only left with a concussion and broken wrist. oscar felt absolutely terrible and apologized over and over again, offering to make it up to you. you assured him it was perfectly fine and that it happens, though you wouldn’t mind going out on a date with him. 

LANDO NORRIS: he hadn’t meant to, not really. sure, you and he had a long-standing rivalry on track, but it never got this serious before. you had tried to cut in front of him when both your tires and his touched, sending you flying into the barriers and him sliding off track. he was able to keep control with minimal damage where you were inside the barriers. you were quickly extracted and treated. Lando was blaming himself over and over again, feeling absolutely terrible. he made sure to take care of you while you recovered so you could get back to fighting him for the title.

FERRARI

CHARLES LECLERC: he doesn't clash often with you but when he does, it’s bad. he hit his brakes as soon as he saw you gaining on him, sending you into the barriers. so much for teamwork, i guess? he didn’t say anything at first, trying hard not to blame you. you were shouting over your radio, complaining that charles had purposely made you crash, lashing out because he wasn’t winning. charles was saying the same thing about you. by the time you were cleared and were headed to the team debrief, you had run into charles, both of you wearing the same aggravated expression. you sigh and hold a handout to charles in hopes of making up with him. instead of just shaking your hand, he pulled you into a hug and apologized over and over again, making you apologize to him for also being too aggressive. 

LEWIS HAMILTON: lewis has had his fair share of rivalries on track. With the one between the two of you, it was on the tamer side. you guys fought constantly for podiums or higher positions, but it was never more serious than that. you had run ins on track, often ending up in small clashes but nothing more serious than that. the last time you clashed on track, you ended up with some bruising and a minor concussion. you and lewis were always chill with each other and made up immediately in the media pen. there were no hard feelings or even slight bickering, just smiles and jokes as you interrupted lewis’s interview. no matter how bad anything you got, you never let it get in the way of your personal relationship with each other.

MERCEDES

GEORGE RUSSELL: he is absolutely dramatic about it all. it doesn’t matter who caused it, he plays it up to be worse than what it is. when it comes to clashing with you, consider yourself a close second to max in terms of on track rivalries. he refuses to give up until he thinks justice is served. however, when he caused you to slam hard into the barrier, he immediately felt guilty. he didn’t care what the fia would do to him, he just wanted to make sure you were okay. he helped to get you from the car and into the medical car, making sure you were okay. he apologized over and over, making sure you knew how sorry he was with words and kisses to the forehead. he felt absolutely terrible and apologized for weeks on end until you made him crash then that on track rivalry burnt brighter than ever again. 

ANDREA KIMI ANTONELLI: he hadn’t meant to start anything on track but when both you and him, promising rookies who wanted to prove themselves, started earning almost the same number of points, you guys started getting more aggressive with each other. in private, you found it quite funny, but during media duties, you guys played it up. once again, you thought of it as your inside joke. unfortunately, during an earlier race, kimi had lost control of his car, sliding into your line, causing a spin. there wasn't a huge impact but impact enough to jar both you and kimi. he felt terrible watching you get checked out, beating himself up over a simple mistake that could’ve ended much worse. you reassured him multiple times, along with the medical crew, that you were fine, but he wouldn’t hear it. he insisted that he would just work harder so it didn’t happen again. 

REDBULL RACING

MAX VERSTAPPEN: i think this one is pretty obvious. you both are heated on the track, wanting to be on top and win at whatever cost. however, this does come with consequences. oftentimes, you and he clash, resulting in penalties, loss of positions, and, in the rare case, one of you two crashing. It's not always bad but when it is, either one of you refuses to apologize for what is weeks to the media. if max is the one to cause a crash, he won’t even try to talk to you until he calmed down enough to handle the situation maturely. you on the other hand can apologize maybe the day after. In the end, it really depends on the severity of the crash. when he causes a bad crash that has you concussed or burned, he’ll take less time to apologize; even then, though, it’s a bit fake. eventually, after maybe four to five days, you guys are back on legitimate speaking turns and being absolutely annoying to everyone and their mother. 

YUKI TSUNODA: he is very much a hot head as we all are aware of. however, i feel like if he genuinely hurt someone in a crash, he would be apologetic and try to make it up to you in the form of food. if you were in the barriers and came out with a broken rib, he’d make easier foods. if you were badly burnt, he’d reapply coolants or burn creams he knows works from burning and blistering his fingers one too many times while cooking. he is just super sweet about it all, making you feel loved and taken care of during breaks if you crashed right before the start of vacation. he even makes a public apology on his socials even after you told him multiple times that that was highly unnecessary. yuki would be so dramatic about it, though, making sure everyone knew that he would do whatever he could to prevent it from happening again (it does happen again but just not as intense as the time before). 

WILLIAMS

ALEX ALBON: he makes jokes about you and your guy’s rivalry because he thinks it's funny that his boyfriend is his biggest “rival”. it does set up this slight narrative that you and alex might not be the best people for each other because of on track shenanigans, but you guys constantly prove people wrong. when one of you gets a penalty for pushing the other out of track limits, you guys joke about it to your race engineers, annoying them in the process. on the other hand, if one of you crashes, it's a full blown panic mode. when one of you accidentally sends the other full throttle into the barriers at turn twelve, you feel bloody horrible. if you get badly injured, alex is no longer smiling or joking and instead is super serious, waiting for any news on how you are. once the race is officially ended, he rushes to you and hugs you so tightly you would think you died. he claims you almost did (it was a tiny spin into the barriers) and refuses to let you go, even during media duties. 

CARLOS SAINZ: he doesn’t make a big deal out of your rivalry at all. when asked about it, he brushes it off and says it's not a big deal. with you, you think it’s the biggest deal ever because it's mostly your first real rivalry. you are much like george and make a huge deal of every little thing and are kind of bitchy about it because you think it’s funny to piss carlos off. It spices things up for you. however, when carlos sends you spinning directly into the barriers over a simple mistake, you are actually furious and go off on him over and over again. he would stand in front of you and not say a single word and wouldn't apologize until you were done. and when he apologized, he was 1000% genuine about it all. you are genuinely just silenced because you still want to be mad and dramatic, but you can’t because that was actually a good apology.

LOGAN SARGEANT: this sweet baby doesn’t have legitimate rivalries. who would ever consider that sweet face a rival? however, when it does come to racing, it can be a bit risky when racing behind the williams. if you are lapping him, you have to be a bit more cautious not only because you are close to logan, but also because you don’t want to contribute to his reputation. when he accidentally moves the wrong way and collides with you, sending you both into the gravel, resulting in a double dnf. he blames himself and over apologizes even though he ends up more hurt than you. you spend the next few days cheering him up and comforting him, telling him it was an honest mistake and that you could never be mad at him over the simple things. what happens on track stays on the track, and nothing would ever affect how you see logan.

RACING BULLS

ISACK HADJAR: much like alex, he makes jokes about your rivalry on tiktok, most of the time with you in the background. he pokes fun at it constantly, always making sly little comments about how much better he is than you with you doing exactly the same back to him. you know its all fun and games which is why you so easily go along with it. if it were anyone else, you wouldn’t be this chill about it. you know isack had a rough start to his season but bounced back quickly and efficiently. however, one wrong turn and your car is deep in the barriers. he feels absolutely terrible but keeps racing, having to make up time for the small incident. he beats himself up over it the entire time, even after finding out the burns you sustained were minimal. as soon as possible, he got out of the car to check in on you, apologizing way too much that he switched to french, which you aren’t entirely fluent in. you take him out for dinner and that patches things up real quick. 

LIAM LAWSON: he does not care who you are, how old you are, he will beef with you (and he is so real for that i love it). if you do something he doesn't like, you officially have beef. same thing goes for you. he pisses you off so much on track that you are often times caught telling your engineer that you are going to “put lawson in the fucking wall”. urtns out, it would be the exact opposite. he would, in fact, put you in the fucking wall. you were so pissed that when he got out of his car, you shoved him max verstappen style. neither one of you wants to apologize which leads to high tensions between the two of you. after a week or so, you guys couldn’t take it anymore and decide to fuck your problems away. oit works every time. 

HAAS

ESTEBAN OCON: what is esteban without his controversies or rivals? I mean, c’mon. he’s got invisible beef with so many that esteban doesn’t know about. so he thinks you and him are chill on track, when, in fact, you don’t consider you guys chill at all. he doesn’t understand that or why you have beef with him. he tries to get out of your way if he is being lapped and tries to steer clear in case he accidentally hits anyone. he doesn't mean to be your rival. though, that all seems to change when he drives you off track and into the gravel for p10. you try to cut back into your position when esteban turns way too soon and back off into the gravel you go. unfortunately, you hit the barrier hard and black out, resulting in a trip to the hospital, where you wake up to find esteban arranging the room to make it more inviting and less hospital-like. it was an oddly sweet gesture that you actually get butterflies. well, until esteban is crying about how sorry he is and that he’ll make it up however he can. from that moment on, esteban is no longer public enemy #1 to you. 

OLIVER BEARMAN: much like logan, who could consider this baby to be a rival? you. that's who. don't be fooled by his innocent smile, this boy will honestly start a rivalry with you randomly. you’ll both be in midfield teams and he will fight you for p16 just for the hell of it. and you genuinely cannot understand why? you're just trying to survive and cocaine bear over here is trying to run you off track. you do know that its a joke plus a nod back to your childhood karting days, but man is it exhausting. you guys are so competitive with each other that he accidentally runs you too far off track and makes you crash. you aren’t badly injured but still end up with a headache. the guilt eats ollie alive to the point where he actively tries to avoid you or he’ll break down. you thought you did something wrong until esteban (or kimi depending on who is closest) explains how bad ollie feels, which makes you hug ollie tighter than ever before. 

KICK SAUBER

GABRIEL BORTELETO: honestly, everyone is surprised with your guys’ beef. like you are in one of the better teams and he just isn’t? it's probably the most random beef of the season. when he does manage to pull the tractor of the sauber past p17, he is actively trying to make your life hell. there's videos of him saying he will put people in the walls and he means it. he can drive given the chance and fucking hell, he puts in a good fight. almost too good of a fight when he sends your car into the grass, the tire flying off. you are definitely sore afterwards. your wrists feel like they are on fire and your neck is fairly injured but you don’t feel sick which is good. gabriel, much like lewis, is pretty chill about it and so are you. you guys make up easily, just a dap and a hug and you’re back to normal, well, other than the fact that you insist gabi do everything for you until you heal fully. 

NICO HULKENBURG: he talks to you like how he talked to kevin: very unfiltered regardless of circumstance. he’s a chill guy for the most part so your rivalry isn’t a big deal to either one of you. even with clashes or crashes, you two have never made it a big deal. you both know it comes with racing and are just doing your jobs, why make it dramatic? the media has other ideas though because of course they do. they spin this wild tale about how you and nico hate each other's guts, not even being able to stand each other’s presence. which is insane because you guys are probably closest (though not as close as gabico those fucking gays). it really shows when he cuts you off, hitting your front left as well as the front wing, sending you spinning out of control and straight into the wall. as soon as he is out the car and can get to you, he is immediately by your side, apologizing and assessing you himself before concluding that you are still okay. 

ASTON MARTIN

LANCE STROLL: to be honest, no one really knew the two of you had a rivalry until you started bashing each other on live television because of a small incident in q2. you were complaining about how blind he was being while he was bitching that you needed to stay in your line. it only got worse from there as the weekend progressed. during the actual race, you guys were constantly racing side by side, hardly giving enough room to the other. you bitched to your engineer how annoying stroll was while lance was just trying to get around you because he claimed that you were going too slow. when he finally manages to get around you, he turns a bit too soon, hitting you and causing you to spin out of control, almost flipping. the safety card is deployed and it actually hits lance that he didn’t mean to do that. when you are cleared by medical and he is finished, you immediately find each other. instead of words, you, like with how liam, fuck it out as an apology/to make it up. 

FERNANDO ALONSO: i think this one is a given ngl. fernando would refuse to apologize until a week later. if you are sent flying into the wall or gravel, that’s your fault not his. well, thats what he thinks for a few days before he actually reflects. he will eventually muster up enough sincerity to apologize but you could care less because you enjoy your guys’ rivalry, regardless of damage or injury.

ALPINE

PIERRE GASLY: i’m pretty sure the only rivalry he has currently is flavio and the fucking alpine as a whole. he doesn’t have time to crash into you. 

JACK DOOHAN: he’s probably crashed into you a total of three times in the short time he was in f1. the first time was in australia, taking you out with him. he felt absolutely terrible for wrecking the start of your season. he tried to avoid it happening again, but unfortunately, it did. there started your one-sided rivalry with jack. he wasn’t aware of this rivalry at all. he just felt so incredibly guilty for crashing into you so many times. it seemed that no matter how many times he apologized you just couldn't forgive him. the last time he crashed into you was bad though. your car was caught on fire, and you had been knocked unconscious. he felt absolutely sick with himself and immediately stopped his race to try and help you. he cried when he couldn’t get you to wake up. it wasn’t until being released from the hospital that made you actually realize jack’s car was just fucked up and it wasn’t jack’s fault in the slightest. as soon as you were cleared, you set off to find jack, wanting to hug him and apologizing for never believing him. he accepted it with open arms. from there, you guys formed a tight bond with one another. 

FRANCO COLAPINTO: with franco, everything is the opportunity to flirt. literally. he used this rivalry that budded up as a chance for an enemies to lovers pipeline, hoping it would score big time with you. it did not. you found his antics ridiculous, especially after the hell he put you through on track. you would constantly ignore him and his advances because you found it so infuriating. it never fully clicked with him how annoying it could be for someone else after a long race, especially if said person had just dnfed because of you. so, he dialed it back a lot so as not to piss you off more. turns out, after a really bad crash, he can’t control it and was overly flirtatious in the medical tent. you were so tired and in so much pain you just cried and begged him to just shut up. at that moment, he really started to apologize, telling you he was just trying to make things more lighthearted and fun. he laid off the flirting for a while after that until you started flirting with him, which got him excited.

TAGS! (if you want to be added, lmk!)

@op-81-lvr-reblogs, @koalapastries, @justaf1girl, @ghostking4m, @spoonfulofmilo, @seonghwaexile, @alex-wotton, @raizelchrysanderoctavius, @toodeepintofandoms, @altairshusband, @lilliezzzzz

[sttoru]

♯ 𝐔𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐘 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐊.

⟣ sypnosis. kento has been extremely busy lately, going on business trips and so forth. he decides to surprise you by coming back earlier than expected. that’s how you end up finding your lover on top of you, showering you in his affection at 3 in the morning.

⟣ tags. nanami kento x female reader. fluff, bit of angst, suggestive towards the end. reader gets called 'sweetheart, angel, dear' wc: 1.8k

⟣ note. okayokay finally an adition to my event heheh ive almost forgotten about it but then i saw this prompt & was like . ok nanami , i must write this rnnn no delaying anymore so here i am :3 its also very bad. i hate it sm LOL i hope u at least like it t_t

kento often asks himself why he had returned to the world he despised — the jujutsu society; his old high school. the sprawling curses everywhere are the main cause of his current misery.

he had been sent out on missions left and right, not catching a break in hopes of reducing any more civilian causalities than necessary. kento had even thought that maybe his previous 9-5 job wasn’t as bad as he had considered it.

overtime was every day for the sorcerer now. that wasn’t the worst thing - no - the fact that he was pratically living a long distant relationship with his beloved irritated him most.

a thought he had in his high school days reoccured in a moment of distress: ‘why not leave all those missions to gojo?’

you were still pretty understanding of his situation. kento appreciated that, though the guilt still ate away at him whenever he tried to sleep. an empty bed welcomed him each time he re-entered his hotel room — you saw the exact same scenery when returning home to your shared apartment.

both of you were adults; both knowing that life was unfair. the two of you being unable to see each other from time to time was a part of your life. kento and you still maintained a healthy relationship. that was all that really mattered in the end.

11:49PM. . . tonight wasn’t unlike any other night; you were preparing yourself to go to bed—changing into your pyjamas after showering, snuggling to a pillow under the covers and texting your lover one last message.

‘good luck on your mission as always! stay safe, i love you.’

you stare at your phone screen for a minute longer than intended. even if you tried to be mature about it — you longed for kento’s warmth and undivided attention. you want him with you, his strong arms holding you to his chest as you rest, his deep voice sending shivers down your spine in the best way possible.

you sigh defeatedly and put your phone down on your nightstand. just two days until you could see your partner again. you can hold onto that hope to keep you calm.

despite you trying to stay positive, you tossed and turned in your bed as you thought about kento’s safety. there was always a chance of him not coming home to you — always the possibility of that bed to be empty for the rest of your life.

all you could do was pray for his safety in your head whilst your eyes eventually closed from fatigue, your mind drifting off to a deep slumber.

03:14AM. . . kento opens the door he had wished to have opened way earlier. the door that lead to the place where his heart lays; the person who claimed his heart and soul for eternity. you.

he didn’t think he’d actually do it. kento had originally planned to finish his last job as soon as possible and then get home afterwards, but there seemed to be a change in routine.

the special grade sorcerer simply assigned the mission to ino — the person whom he could trust most to finish the job in one piece. as much as kento dislikes to put his juniors in possible risky situations, there are also situations where it’s fine to depend on them. besides, the mission could easily be done by a grade one sorcerer.

kento sighs. the familiar scent of your home was one he could recognise from miles away. one that could calm his nerves instantly. it was that same distinctive scent you carry; thus why your lover sometimes calls you his home.

‘i can’t wait to be home’ ‘i want to be home’ ‘i’m going home’ — all these sentences, which kento has uttered before in earlier conversations, weren’t referring to a place. rather to a person he held dear.

“oh, my sweetheart.” the blonde man whispers under his breath as his eyes catch the shape of your figure under the blankets. he quietly enters the master bedroom and closes the door behind him, not making a sound as to not interrupt your well-deserved sleep.

kento slowly undoes his dotted tie, along with the upper buttons of his blouse. he probably needs to go take a good shower before he could settle down with you — but that’d risk waking you up.

you look extremely angelic in his eyes. especially with your left cheek squished by the soft pillow your head rests on. you never once fail to convince him that you are indeed the woman of his dreams; the woman kento ever had and will have eyes for. it’s like you get more attractive to him as the days go on.

“mh,” your sudden and soft groan makes him realise just how disturbing his behaviour could be interpreted as. kento’s body was hovering over your sleeping one and he was just. . . staring at you with a soft smile. a smile which he didn’t even notice had permanently found its place on his weary face.

kento sits down on the edge of the mattress, callused hand gently tucking you in properly, putting the blanket over your shoulders to make sure you didn’t get cold. he can’t rest if you’re not comfortable— even if he himself was exhausted to the point his eyes were starting to feel heavy.

yet that exhaustion doesn’t last long. it never does when kento’s able to see you again after a tiring week of countless missions and other jobs. your presence alone grants him the energy to stay awake and take care of you. and himself. you’re the reason he keeps it going.

“i love you so much, my beautiful girl — my angel.”

kento sure was a romantic. even when you’re unaware and asleep.

he couldn’t help it; the feeling stirring inside of him. the feeling of adoration and love for you. you are simply resting, yet kento felt an urge to kiss you all over, show you the unending love he has for you. but. . that’d probably be disturbing your peace. you are sleeping after all. he

not that that would stop kento.

your eyes flutter open due to a sudden presence hovering over you. your entire face and neck area was feeling ticklish, like someone was placing tens of kisses all over the skin.

strands of blonde hair is the first thing showing up in your blurry vision. kento’s face follows afterwards as his head tilts back up, the warmth against your jawline disappearing along with it —

“ah, i’m sorry.” a low and almost guilty chuckle tumbles out of his sore throat. the visible confusion on your face makes him let out another, “shh, shh, it’s just me, sweetheart.”

your arms flew around kento’s torso the second the realisation dawns upon you. your heart went from a slow pace to one that caused your entire body to warm up immediately; the adorable reaction and increase in heart rate not going unnoticed by your lover.

you wordlessly hug him — almost still in shock by the sudden appearance. kento doesn’t fight off your tight embrace, instead, welcomes it with open arms. the delicate kisses on your skin continue, each being placed with precision whilst one of his hands keeps your head tilted a little — rough fingers being a contrast of the gentle grip they had on your jaw.

“i missed you lots,” kento murmurs, eyes closed as he basks in the warmth of your body, his lips refusing to let go of your neck, “i couldn’t wait anymore. i couldn’t be separated from you any longer or i’d lose it.”

his gruff voice sounded even deeper than it usually would. maybe due to the overuse of it during his missions. the lone thought makes you pout — the thought of kento working super hard just to provide for you both.

“i missed you more, love.” you mumble, bottom lip trembling a little as kento’s hug triggers a whole lot of emotions in you. his hugs were special, his muscular arms giving you a sense of comfort you couldn’t find anywhere. no one could hug you like he did, “you did well. you did so well.”

those were all the words kento needed. his lips come to halt right above your collarbone, his breath a bit heavy from how much he's holding himself back from doing more. one hand moves from your cheek to your waist, fingers toying with the fabric of your shirt.

“thank you, dear.” kento says. his words carrying a load of unending affection. your simple words of appreciation and encouragement makes him shiver in delight. this is what he longed for; this is what he did it all for.

it was clear. the answer to his question - of why he had returned to the jujutsu world, to become a teacher at his former high school - it was all for you. to be able to be with you, see you and hold you like this. to have someone like you appreciate all of his efforts.

“may i?” kento asks through a quiet whisper as he gently removes the blanket covering your figure, his eyes darting down towards your cleavage. he's asking for permission to cross that barrier — to cover you in the love you deserve.

you just stare at the blonde man above you for a second. you watch as he climbs onto the bed with you; the bed which was once empty and dull, now suddenly becoming your favourite place to be at. your fingertips graze against kento's sharp cheekbones. a habit you always did when you were appreciating his looks.

“go right ahead.” you answer with a confirming nod.

both of you were touch starved and had been deprived from each other's embrace for way too long. now was the perfect time to make up for all the time lost.

kento wasn’t going to let the opportunity slip past him. he smiles at you, a gentle and handsome smile, whilst a few of his blonde locks fall over his left eye — his hands already prying away the blanket covering your shape. it was time to show you just how much he has longed for you.

“hold on to me, sweetheart. i’m not stopping until you realise just how much i’ve missed all of you.”

[harmoonix]

Tips to heal your Saturn/Chiron placement!!

Since Saturn and Chiron both can trigger a natives life with anxiety and a sense of security, here are some things to help you with getting better!🦋

How to heal:

Cause: overthinking - treatment: writing

Writing something when you're overthinking can help a lot! It can simply be a note from your phone or just write in a notebook how was/is your day so far when you feel overthinking

Cause: Anxiety - treatment: Mediation

When you feel like you're anxious, you can try to close your eyes and think at positive things, if you have your phone by your side try to listen to healing music because it usually works, also staying in the sun can help a lot when you're anxious

Cause: Tired - treatment: sleeping

Is really obvious for your body to feel like sleeping when you're tired, but sleeping actually helps your body so much! Especially when you're feeling sad, take a nap because when you'll wake up, you won't feel the same pain

Cause: Sadness - treatment: exercise

When you're feeling sad or low in life because we all have dark days, try to do some things that can keep your mind away from the sad feeling, play a game, play a sport, organize your room, cleaning can help too but remember that when you hold too much sadness inside of you it will burst out sometimes like you just can't hold it anymore and that's perfectly fine because for some people, crying is healing

Cause: Stress - treatment: go for a walk

Going for a walk can help when you're stressed, especially in the morning when the air is so refreshing because it can help to clean your mind, try to leave the house or go in a park/lay on the grass/look at the sky it can help!

Cause: Angry - treatment; listen to music

Maybe at the moment you won't feel like listening to music, especially after a fight or some kind of conflict, but listening to music it can help with chilling yourself after those, and always remember that the specific fight or conflict already ended so you don't have to overthink about it, is away now

Cause: Lazyness - treatment: reduce screen time

The light from our phones/pc/laptop/iPad is not healthy if you constantly spend your time on these. It is good to take a break and clear your mind after a while. Your phones light has also impacted your mood

Cause: Burnout - Treatment: Reading

Reading can help in situations of burnout. If you don't have a book by yourself when you are in such a situation, there are so many online books out there, or even audio ones try to read articles or to just text with people/friends when you feel like it.

Saturn + Chiron and the themes you need to heal/get better in your life!

Saturn/Chiron in the 1H - yourself, your body, your image

Saturn/Chiron in the 2H - your worth, finances

Saturn/Chiron in the 3H - your communication, talk more about your feelings

Saturn/Chiron in the 4H - your family, relatives, your own home

Saturn/Chiron in the 5H - your inner child, do things that make you happy

Saturn/Chiron in the 6H - your mental health, nurturing, organization

Saturn/Chiron in the 7H - your partner, your relationship or marriage, your worth to a relationship/boundaries

Saturn/Chiron in the 8H - your traumas, your past, your insecurities

Saturn/Chiron in the 9H - your faith, your beliefs, your culture, your homeland, your education

Saturn/Chiron in the 10H - your carrer, your public image, your job

Saturn/Chiron in the 11H - your friendships, your community, your dreams

Saturn/Chiron in the 12H - your subconscious, your sleep, your spiritual self,

🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋

Remember that is perfectly fine to feel sad or angry or moody because these are our emotions and feelings at the specific moment, there is nothing with them but it can do damage on yourself when you're in these energies for too long! Remember that loving yourself matters. You matter, you are loved. Being nice with others matters as much as being nice with yourself as well! Hope this helped you guys 🦋

Harmoonix🦋🦋🦋

[narrycherries]

ivy: he’s gonna burn this house to the ground

He has added insult to injury and she gives him one chance to make it right.

(part 8)

masterlist // ivy series

word count: 17.5k

warnings/tags: harry x oc, angst, fluff, enemies to lovers, alcohol use, fluff

A heavy feeling had been weighing her down for the past two weeks. Ivy wasn’t sure why things happened the way they did, why things always went wrong for her. She was almost certain that everything had been fixed, that her situation with Harry had finally turned positive and hopeful. Unfortunately, she was wrong. He hasn’t talked to her since that night. There were no texts, no calls, nothing at all. It made her heart anxiously flutter and her head fill with racing thoughts - all of which just made her feel worse.

The feeling was a mix of pain, confusion, and fear. It hurt her feelings that he hadn’t talked to her. There had to be a reason why but she was so bewildered by it. What went south? What happened that caused a rift? And of course, above all else, she was terrified. She gave a small piece of herself to him and he ran off with it. She trusted him and allowed her lips to melt into his. Was it not enough to make him stick around? Was she not enough?

Emma was unaware of what happened between her and Harry during the party. As far as Ivy knew, nobody knew what occured. She was going to tell Emma a few days after it happened, because she was so excited to finally be able to express her feelings for him. But when she realized he hadn’t reached out to her, her feelings about everything shifted. She was embarrassed. Maybe she overreacted and Harry was just being nice to her.

Of course, she replayed the night over and over in her mind several times as she tried to figure out what was going on. Harry had been so sweet to her, so caring and concerned. She was sure that he meant it. Did she do something wrong? Maybe begging him to kiss her was too much too quickly for him. Whenever it popped in her mind, her hands went clammy and her stomach dropped. She wanted to scream.

It didn’t end on a sour note. When they went back inside that night, Harry stayed close by as they danced with their small group and even when they all sat around talking and eating at the table. Harry was pleasant with everyone, even Cory - despite being irritated with him. He was enjoyable. It’s almost like everything stopped and stayed at the bar. Those bubbly feelings she had turned to worry. The absolute pleasure that kissing and touching him gave her was burnt out. Ivy wanted to know why Harry wasn’t talking to her, why he didn’t reach out, why he kissed her that night and then suddenly disappeared..

“Hey.” Emma’s voice filled the quiet living room as she came down the hall, a towel wrapped her hair up on top of her head.

“Hey.” Ivy sighed out.

She wasn’t particularly thrilled when Emma sat down on the other end of the couch, her eyes moving to stare at Ivy. She had noticed that things weren’t so well the past few weeks. At first, Emma assumed that Ivy was just having some bad days and she needed to recharge on her own. But once the second week hit of her avoiding Emma in their shared spaces and insisting to not cook any meals or spend any time together, she knew something was wrong.

“Ivy, have you been okay?” She asked with a soft voice, not sure what to expect.

“I’m fine.”

Emma didn’t accept that answer. She took a deep breath and tried again. “Ivy, what’s wrong?”

As much as she wanted to curl up into a ball on the floor and cry her eyes out, or sit in the bathtub as the water poured onto her from the shower head, or sit in her car in the driveway and let a sad song break her even more - Ivy knew she couldn’t do that. She couldn’t vanish, she couldn’t avoid it anymore. Emma had noticed, and she knew there would be no end of the discussion until the truth was revealed.

Ivy licked her lips and chose to lock her gaze on the wall in front of her, not wanting Emma to see her eyes water over. “I have to tell you something.”

“Okay.” Emma gulped quietly and tried to remain calm, she didn’t want to freak out or scare Ivy off.

“The other night.. at your party.. Harry and I sat together and talked for a while.” She felt a pinch in her heart, it hurt to even mention it or think about it. Emma stayed silent and waited for the rest of the story, assuming there was more to it. Ivy chewed on her cheek for a few moments, deciding how to word the rest. “He was.. very nice to me. We talked about some.. personal things and eventually we.. were holding hands and kissing.”

Emma’s eyes went wide and she tried her best to control herself. She didn’t want to scream or look too terrified by the information. Ivy dropped her eyes to her hands where she was fumbling with her own fingers. She was sort of irritated with herself that she didn’t tell Emma this sooner. It would have been so exciting to debrief everything and squeal about all the possibilities as they both grinned. She just knew Emma would be so happy for her. There was relief, though. She didn’t have to face the consequences of telling her that he hadn’t spoken to her since. It would be more embarrassing.

“You kissed him?”

Ivy nodded lightly. “We kissed for a few minutes.. just light stuff, nothing intense.”

“Did you.. like it? Like, do you really like him?” Emma was hesitant, but she was hoping to be helpful.

“I do, yeah, but I don’t think he likes me in the same way.”

Emma furrowed her brows. “But he kissed you and touched you.. You don’t think he feels the same way?”

There was so much doubt in her mind, and so much guilt filling her heart. She was selfish and she took advantage of their closeness, she did what she wanted and now it seems that it wasn’t something he wanted. She crossed a line and he was being too open with her, too nice to her.

“He hasn’t talked to me since that night. No text or anything. If he liked me.. don’t you think he’d.. want to see me again? Or at least.. text me?”

It was easy for Emma to pick up on the sadness in her tone. She hated knowing that Ivy was so upset about this, and so worried about how it would play out. She took a deep breath and moved closer to her on the couch. Ivy shook her head as she felt a tear slip down her cheek. She didn’t want to cry again over this, especially not in front of Emma.

“Have you texted him?”

“No.”

Emma gave her a half smile. “Maybe you should try. He might think the same thing you’re thinking.”

“I’m pretty sure I made it clear that I liked him.” Ivy rolled her lips in as she tried her hardest to keep the tears from rapidly falling.

“Harry’s a bit stubborn.. maybe he doesn’t know what to do.”

Ivy wasn’t open to considering anything. “It’s me. He doesn’t like me.”

A frown covered Emma’s mouth. “Ivy, don’t be so hard on yourself. It’s not hard to tell that he likes you. Niall’s even mentioned it to me before. He’s probably just unsure of how to approach it.”

It felt sickening to know that everyone has clearly noticed that there’s an attraction between them - Michelle wasn’t the only one. She swallowed harshly and wiped at her eyes, ridding her skin of the tears despite having replicas take their place. How could he be so willing to hold her hand and sit next to her and touch her waist and kiss her.. but not be up to reach out to her? It didn’t make any sense. She was drunk and vulnerable that night, it was most likely that she just felt her emotions too deeply. Harry was being nice to her, not flirting with her. He was being there for her as a friend, as a nice person. Right?

“Well, maybe everyone is blind because it’s obvious to me that he doesn’t care.” She threw her hands in the air, giving up on everything. She felt defeated.

Emma was slightly unsure about how to approach everything, but she wanted Ivy to at least know she wasn’t the problem. Ivy stood up as she was about to speak.

“He’s probably nervous, Ivy. I’m sure it’s not easy for him. He hasn’t been the nicest person to you.. he’s probably afraid he’s messed up too much.”

Ivy walked a few feet away, her back towards Emma as she battled the competing thoughts racing in her mind. “It doesn’t make sense. He.. he told me he didn’t hate me. He.. he wanted to kiss me first. God, I feel like I’m sixteen.”

Romantic relationships were not something she had much, or really any at all, experience with. She wasn’t sure what to classify this as. She knew she was head over heels for him, but was it that deep? She had nothing to compare it to. All she was sure of was that nobody she had ever gone on a date with or kissed made her feel the way Harry did. Nobody has ever occupied so much space in her mind before, claimed so much of her attention even when she wasn’t with them. No kiss had ever made her stomach fall and her heart twist in her chest, or made tingles roll down her spine and her head dizzy. Nothing had ever made her feel that way. It must be more than just physical attraction, but she was afraid to admit it to herself. One four letter word terrified her more than anything.

“From what Niall’s told me, Harry’s never had, like, an actual girlfriend. Maybe he doesn’t.. know how to do it.”

Ivy let out a sarcastic laugh. “It doesn’t take a genius to text someone.”

Emma frowned to herself. As much as she wanted Ivy to see her perspective, she knew it was going to be hard. Ivy’s thoughts are clouded, she isn’t thinking straight. She’s confused and upset, any obvious explanations aren’t going to cut it.

“You can text him first, Ivy. It’s not like we’re still living in times when the guy has to make the first move.”

The comment irked her. She was annoyed by everything anyway, but that just made it worse. Ivy didn’t move or rotate to face her, though, she didn’t want to be rude or let her anger get the best of her. She huffed through her nose and crossed her arms over her chest.

“I’ve tried multiple times to talk to him and be nice to him. I’m not going to do it first this time. He owes me that. He should take a turn for once.”

To think about the amount of effort she put in to be polite to him was frustrating. Even after he insulted her that first time, she tried her absolute best to be kind to him. She didn’t want to hate him, she didn’t want to have any harsh feelings when he was around. She desired to be nice to him, to get to know him. Ivy put in so much work, and it seemed to be a waste now.

“Ivy-“

“I don’t want to talk about it anymore, Emma. It doesn’t matter.” She finally turned around, a mix of annoyance and sadness swept across her features.

Emma sighed softly. “I don’t want you to be upset.”

“It’s too late for that.”

Ivy gave up on everything. Without saying anything else, she disappeared down the hall and turned the lock on her bedroom door. She’d spend yet another night jotting her messy thoughts into her diary before crying herself to sleep, the stuffed animal Harry got her tight in her arms. She missed him more than she ever dreamed she would.

—•—

Later on in the week, Emma convinced Ivy to finally get out of the house and go do something more enjoyable than sitting in her bed sulking. It was Friday evening, she had gotten home from work early and hoped to stay home and relax. Emma brought up the idea of going to get a quick dinner together. She mentioned that she missed being around Ivy and she was hoping they could spend some time together. Of course, that made Ivy feel guilty for abandoning her friend for so many days, so she agreed to it.

They ate at one of their favorite restaurants. The conversations were light and funny, both of them avoided the hard topics Ivy dreaded to think about and that Emma nervously wanted to know. It was a relief to not discuss the situation with Harry, though. Ivy was able to think clearly and be in the moment with Emma, instead of losing her mind and getting lost in her head. When they finished eating, Emma mentioned that she needed to go by Niall’s store. Ivy wasn’t sure of the reason, but she didn’t mind.

Niall was working the later shift at the store, which was unusual for him for a Friday. He was scanning someone’s items at the register when they walked in. He looked up and smiled as he saw Emma. Ivy’s gaze started moving around the store like it normally did when she came here. She wasn’t new to the place, but everything was intriguing and attention catching for her. There was music playing softly from the ceiling, but the sound of someone in the back playing a guitar was overpowering whatever song was on. When the customer left, they met Niall at the counter.

“Haven’t seen you in a while, Ivy.” He said after walking around the counter to give Emma a hug and a kiss.

She put on a light smile. “Yeah, I’ve been keeping to myself.”

“Well, we’ve got a show tomorrow night if you want to come out.” His invitation made her skin crawl. Usually, it would sound like a fun time and she’s agree to it, but not this time.

“I’m just going to stay home.”

Niall noticed the frown that shaped on Emma’s lips. He furrowed his brows and looked back to Ivy. “Everything okay?”

She shrugged, choosing to stare at her own hands now. Speaking to Emma about everything was hard enough, she didn’t think she’d be able to discuss it with Niall. Not only was Niall Harry’s roommate, but they were best friends. How could Ivy vent to him about his friend and expect him to be on her side? Emma wanted to say something, but she knew it would be crossing a line. Niall had some ideas about what was happening, and he figured it wouldn’t hurt to ask.

“Did something happen with Harry?”

Emma nudged him and sighed, not pleased with the fact he just jumped straight to the point. Ivy met his concerned stare and she knew that she couldn’t get out of it, yet again.

“I don’t know.”

He dropped his brows lower. “You don’t know?”

“It’s complicated, Niall.”

“I know it is. He told me about it.” He gave her an apologetic smile.

It wasn’t shocking news to hear, she suspected that he probably knew something. Emma pushed out a sigh and let go of his arm, giving him an irritated look. “Niall, she doesn’t want to talk about it.”

Ivy licked her lips and thought quickly about what could come from this conversation. She wondered what all Niall knew. Did Harry tell him every little detail or did he tell it the way she did and just breeze past everything? Did he know that Harry was so sweet to her and was doing his best to make her feel better? How did the story go in Harry’s point of view, what all did he tell Niall? She shot her eyes back to Niall’s and gulped gently, there was nothing to lose.

“What did he tell you?”

Niall looked over his shoulder, almost like he was seeing if anyone was around. There were a few customers lurking in the store, but surely they weren’t that important to not speak in front of. Emma gave him a funny look when he did it again, double checking himself.

“What?” Emma said confused, looking back to see if she saw anything suspicious.

Niall turned his head back, giving them both a glance. “Harry’s in the back.”

Ivy felt her heart freeze and her chest tightened. Tension filled her body and strained her muscles, she was struggling almost like someone dropped a ton of bricks on her.

“I don’t care.” She forced out the lie, trying to appear nonchalant.

Niall could obviously tell she did care to a certain extent, but he wasn’t going to pester her about it. Instead, he took a deep breath and started explaining what he was told. While he spoke, Emma kept her eyes on Ivy to catch her reactions. She didn’t want her to get upset again.

“Well, he told me about.. how he found you outside and talked to you for a while. And he told me about the hand holding and the kissing.” Niall paused in case she wanted to say something, but her eyes were glued to him and she stayed quiet. “He also told me that he hasn’t spoken to you since then.”

“No, he hasn’t.” She had a firm line over her lips.

He nodded gently. “I know. He told me he’s-“

“Niall, I don’t want to know.” Ivy interrupted, rolling her eyes and shifting her body so she wasn’t facing him anymore. “I don’t want to hear it from you.”

“I can go get him.” Niall offered.

“No.” She was quick to reject the offer. “I don’t want to see him. I just.. want to go home.”

When her eyes moved to Emma’s, there was a silent understanding between them. Emma reached into her purse and took out her keys, passing them to Ivy. She was giving her the opportunity to go to the car if she wanted. Ivy took the chance and soon walked out of the door, the bells jingling above her made her ears ring.

Knowing Harry was in the same building as her made her stomach churn. Every piece of her was hurting, coated with fear and anxiety. She didn’t want to be near him. She didn’t want Niall’s version of Harry’s feelings and thoughts. Right now, the only thing she wanted was to disappear.

Ivy accidentally slammed the car door when she shut it. She closed her eyes and covered her face with her hands, fighting back a scream. There was a lot of anger boiling beneath her skin, but she was still sad.

Back inside, Niall received a gentle slap on his arm from Emma. He threw his hands up, silently surrendering to her. She was not pleased with what he said to Ivy, in fact she was very mad about it. She crossed her arms and shook her head in disbelief.

“I can’t believe you did that.”

“I don’t want the girl to think she’s done something wrong. I was trying to help.”

Emma was tapping her foot on the ground, irritation taking over. “And seriously? Suggesting that you go get him? Niall, that was unnecessary.”

“Babe, I didn’t mean to make things worse. I thought maybe she’d want to talk to him. I’m sorry.”

Emma could easily explode any second now. She was disappointed that Niall was so bold and straight forward with Ivy. No matter how good his intentions were, he shouldn’t have done that. She was about to say something in return when a customer walked to the register. Niall quickly handled their transaction as Emma stepped a few feet away to give them space.

Once Niall had finished with the customer, she leaned her elbow on the counter and gave him a sour look. He locked the register and gave her a gentle frown, knowing that he messed up. He wanted to apologize again, but he was sure it wouldn’t matter.

“She’s been really upset about this.” Emma mumbled out, everything was crashing down at once.

Ivy was angry, but more than anything she was heart broken. Having her best friend feel that way made Emma just as sad. She wanted to scream at Harry and tell him how stupid his choices were, but she knew Ivy wouldn’t want her to do that and Niall wouldn’t either. It wasn’t her place to get in between them, just as it wasn’t Niall’s either.

“I was going to tell her that Harry’s been really worried about it. He doesn’t know what to do. It’s not like he’s.. the most open person or whatever.” Niall tried to offer the explanation, but he knew his words weren’t going to mean as much as Harry’s would.

Emma rolled her eyes. “He’s hard headed. There’s no reason why he should still act that way towards her.”

“I know that, Emma. I’ve tried to give him my advice.” Niall’s voice was lighter than it previously was.

“Do you really think he likes her, Niall? It would crush her if he didn’t.”

“He does. He told me.” Niall nodded, then pushed himself off the counter, his eyes looking past Emma. “Don’t say anything.” He quietly muttered to her.

She looked over her shoulder in time to see Harry walking up. She felt her stomach fall. He gave her a look, but didn’t offer a smile or anything too polite to her. He was concerned with one thing only, telling Niall he was about to leave.

“I’m out of here.” He said, gesturing his head towards the door.

Niall flicked his eyes to Emma’s and he easily caught her expression. She was practically pleading with him, and he caved quicker than he realized. He took a quick breath and mentally hit himself for doing this.

“Harry, wait.”

The call of his name made Harry stop just as he grabbed the door handle. He looked over and lifted his brows, hoping this wouldn’t take long. He was ready to go home and become reclusive in his room. Niall tapped his finger on the counter as he managed to get a sentence together in his mind.

“I just talked to Ivy.”

Harry shot his gaze to Emma for a split second. “Congratulations.”

Of course he was going to keep his hard front on in Emma’s presence. Not only was she Ivy’s roommate, but she was her best friend. He wasn’t going to be vulnerable.

Niall rolled his eyes. “I think you need to reach out to her, Harry.”

“I think you need to mind your business, Niall.” He mocked Niall’s tone and snarled his lip.

“Please.” Emma chirped out.

Harry shook his head, but he refrained from being rude to her. Instead, he focused on Niall. “Don’t talk to me about this again.”

“Harry, be more considerate of her feelings.” Niall tried to get through to him, but like always it was a failure.

“She’s better off without me considering anything involving her.” Harry made that his final comment. He pushed the door open and walked out, leaving Niall to drop his forehead against his head.

He was unaware of Ivy’s location, and he wasn’t paying enough attention to realize that she was in one of the cars outside the building. He didn’t catch a glimpse of her, though. However, she saw him. It was hard to resist looking at him and following his strides as he went to his motorcycle. Ivy bit down on her lip and pinched her own thigh, trying to distract herself but it was impossible. Harry was so close to her, and this time she could see him - but she knew nothing was going to happen. She watched him get on the bike and put his helmet on. She wondered how often he drove it, she obviously knew he had a car, too. Was it more freeing and fun to ride the motorcycle? Has he always been into them or was it a newer fascination? There she goes - getting lost in her mind, tangled in her thoughts about him. It was entirely too easy for her to trip over him.

Ivy ripped her eyes away and stared at the dashboard of Emma’s car, mixed emotions swirling in her body. It was heart wrenching and painful and annoying and aggravating and literally every emotion all at once. She wanted to hate him, but she could never bring herself to feel that way.

—•—

Although Emma tried her best to convince Ivy to go out for the night, it was a wasted attempt. She declined and eventually said she was tired of being asked, so Emma respected that and accepted the reality that Ivy wasn’t going to cave in. Ivy helped Emma with her outfit, of course, like a best friend would. They went back and forth on a few things, but eventually settled on something. Emma was sad to leave without her, even Niall asked to make sure Ivy wasn’t coming when he picked her up.

Ivy’s plans for the night consisted of take out and a movie. She wanted to snuggle a blanket on the couch and eat some of her favorite candies while she watched the television. She wasn’t concerned with what Emma was doing or what anyone else would think about her not being there. For the first time in the past two weeks, her mind was empty and her heart was calm. She relaxed with a glass of wine, settling on the couch once her dinner was over. Everything was normal, everything was peaceful.

Things were different at the bar, though. When it came time for the band to get ready to go on stage, Harry felt his stomach begin to twist and turn. He was nervous, and he normally was never, ever nervous to perform. If anyone had confidence and energy, it was him. Tonight was different. He sighed heavily as he watched Michelle check her phone one last time before sliding it into her back pocket. They had about three minutes to spare before they had to walk out. Niall was making sure everything was set up correctly while Zayn and Cory talked to each other.

Harry gulped quietly and mustered up his usual courage. “Hey, Michelle.”

She looked up and raised her brows high. It wasn’t out of the ordinary for Harry to talk to her, he was her friend after all. He looked over towards the guys, then back at her. Her curiosity grew when he chose to walk closer to her, closing their distance.

He kept his voice low as he spoke. “Do you know if Ivy is coming tonight?”

“I know that Emma’s coming.”

He nodded lightly, forcing down the lump in his throat. “But you haven’t.. talked to Ivy?”

“No, I haven’t.” She shook her head, then tilted her head to the side. “Why are you so worried about it?”

“M’not worried.” He grumbled back.

She laughed. “Sure you’re not.”

“Whatever. I just wanted to know.” He huffed out, a flush covering his cheeks. It was sort of embarrassing for him to be so gushy about someone, and it was worse to think that Michelle suspected something more was going on. “Forget it.”

“Harry.” She quickly said his name as he turned away. “She’ll probably be with Emma.”

Her hopeful comment wasn’t enough to ease his anxiety. He didn’t say anything, and he didn’t spare her a glance. He simply nodded his head and ran his hand through his hair, pushing it away from his face. The owner offered them celebratory shots ten minutes ago that most of them accepted, Harry did not. He regretted that now, he needed something to distract him.

When he first got on stage and started singing, he was keeping his eyes fixed on the crowd and trying not to pick out any specific person. He was hoping to dissociate from what was going on, but as time went on, it was challenging. Harry was facing a slew of feelings. He was still very anxious, yet he was annoyed with himself for being so caught up on his thoughts. He was worried - what if she was here and she was being bothered by someone? He was on the stage and unable to be there for her. He was upset at himself for being so fixated on her, yet he couldn’t stop it.

Dissociating was his most successful process so far. They were half way through the show and he hadn’t even realized it until it was time to sing a certain song. He gulped down his anxious thoughts and started the song. Niall knew the significance of this song, so he kept his eye on Harry. He was unsure of how Harry would react.

As he sang the lyrics to “Crimson and Clover”, his eyes scanned the crowd in a different way this time. He was trying to find her, trying to catch just a glimpse of her long, pretty hair or see her smile shine as she danced. His eyes kept landing on Emma throughout his search, and just like every single time he’s looked at her tonight, she was alone. Emma wasn’t dancing with Ivy, she wasn’t singing along and grabbing her hands and jumping around - Ivy wasn't here.

He hoped that maybe she was just sitting at the bar to keep her distance from him, that would make sense. Avoiding him was not something new to her, so maybe she was trying to do that. The longer he sang into the microphone, the deeper his thoughts went and the more he convinced himself she wasn’t here at all. Not at the bar, not in the bathroom, not in the back of the crowd..

That lead to the spiraling thoughts of wondering where she could be. Was she alone at home, curled up in her bed asleep? Was she visiting her dad, maybe she was out of town and that’s why she missed the show? Or she could be out on a date, she could have moved on from him and be exploring different options. That thought made his chest go tight. He fucked up. He ruined his chance. Ivy didn’t want to be near him, she didn’t want to risk her own sanity. And he didn’t blame her.

When the show ended, Harry joined everyone at their usual spot. However, he wasn’t speaking at all. He downed two beers quicker than he should have. The goal was to get drunk, not to talk to anyone. Michelle glanced his way every now and then, aware of at least a partial reason why he was mute. She didn’t think that Ivy’s absence would affect him this much, but the more she thought about it, the more sense it made.

When Emma came back from the bathroom, she sat down in between Niall and Harry. She took out her phone and started typing, the bright screen attracted Harry’s eyes. He didn’t dare read over her shoulder, he just noticed she had her phone out. She closed it after a few moments. Niall was talking to Zayn, so she was quiet next to him. Harry took the opportunity to say something.

“Emma.” He said loud enough for her to hear over the music.

She looked his way. “Yeah?”

Eye contact was too overwhelming. He looked down at his hands as he twisted one of his rings over his fingers. The scar on his skin made him frown as the memory of Ivy being so curious about it began to circle his mind. He took a deep breath and gently swallowed. Emma was being patient, giving him time to compose his words.

“How’s.. how’s Ivy doing?”

As much as she wanted to sarcastically laugh at him, she held it in and just kept her eyes on his face. She figured her staring was uncomfortable for him so that was going to be his punishment.

“Do you mean today or in general? Because lately she’s been going through it.”

He lifted his head and moved his eyes to hers. “Is she sick?”

Her brows dropped, was he clueless? “No, she’s fine.”

“Did.. did she have plans tonight?”

Emma easily caught the gist now. She pushed out a heavy breath. “No.”

“Why didn’t she come?” Harry couldn’t hold the stare anymore.

The desire to be polite to him was starting to fade. She knew all too well how Ivy had been feeling lately and it was all because of him. Emma shifted so she was facing him now, a serious look spread on her face. Harry could feel her stare burning holes through her, like daggers being thrown.

“Probably because she didn’t want to be around you.”

He nodded slowly, fully expecting that sort of response. “That makes sense, I guess.”

“A lot of sense to me.” She quickly replied.

“Is she mad at me?” He leaned up to grab the half full plastic cup he sat on the table a few minutes prior.

Emma wanted to grab him and shake some sense into him, but she knew she couldn’t do that. Not only would it be rude, but Ivy wouldn’t want her to. She knew the importance of accountability, and Harry needed to take some.

“Why are you asking me?”

He rolled his lips in for a moment. “I don’t know.”

Harry hated himself for what he did to her, for how he’s treated her since day one and for how he’s been acting now. He should’ve never done that if he knew he wasn’t going to pursue anything with her - and it’s never been his intention to make anything happen. He wasn’t good for her, she needed someone who could really love her.

Emma saw how far his frown tugged the corners of his lips down. While she was annoyed with his behavior, she had to remind herself that he was human. Everyone makes mistakes, and everyone deserves respect and sympathy.

“If you want to know how she is, you have to ask her yourself, Harry.”

All he did was lightly tilt his head back, his eyes were glued to his knees and his mind was dizzy with thoughts. Shortly after her final words, Emma occupied herself with Niall and left Harry alone. For the rest of the night, they all pretty much left him to himself. He downed more beer, ordered heavier drinks, and threw back shots. He wanted to get wasted, he wanted his thoughts to vanish. He didn’t want to think about Ivy, or anything for that matter. He swallowed the alcohol faster than he was taking breaths. The intention was to forget about her.

As the early morning rolled past three o’clock, Ivy was sound alseep in her bed tucked under her covers. Her bedroom was cool, but the heat her body let out encased her in a comforting warmth. Her bedroom was quiet, in fact the entire house was. Emma told her before she left that she’d be staying at Niall’s tonight. Ivy wasn’t expecting any sort of interruption. She was glad to be in a quiet space, after all her worrying her body needed the rest and relaxation.

That sense of peace ended abruptly when the sound of her phone ringing blared throughout her bedroom. She groaned, pulling the cover over her head to shield herself from the sound. She wasn’t sure of the time, so if the sun was out she didn’t want to risk her eyes being exposed to it. The phone rang until it went to voicemail. She figured it was some sort of spam call or something along those lines. It became silent again, so she hummed to herself as she got comfortable, ready to fall back asleep.

It was short lived. Just a few minutes later, the phone was ringing for a second time. She huffed this time, annoyed by the sound. Although she had a few thoughts pop in her mind, like maybe something was wrong with Emma or it was an emergency from her dad, her brain was fuzzy and she only wanted to sleep, not entertain any particular thought.

The third time the phone rang, she sat up in her bed and started mumbling to herself, cursing the noise for waking her up. She snatched the phone off her nightstand and pulled the charger out, bringing it closer so she could see. Her eyes squinted from the bright screen, but as they came back into focus, she saw five letters that made her heart drop. Harry.

Ivy read the time, furrowing her brows as she realized how late it was. Why was he calling her this late? She ignored the call, but opened her phone to check the previous missed calls. They were indeed all from him. What if something was wrong with him? Why would he be calling her? She felt an immense amount of anxiety start to build inside of her. The what if’s kept flying into her mind, circling her brain until her heart was fluttering from the anxious feeling. What if something bad happened?

Before she could even comprehend what to do, the phone rang for a fourth time. The sight of his name displayed on the screen was fueling her worry. If he was calling her again, that meant that he needed her. Something wasn’t right. Ivy sucked in a quick breath and answered the phone, pressing it to her ear as she anticipated hearing his voice. On the other end of the call, Harry was shocked that she answered.

“Hello?”

“Ivy.” His deep voice sounded groggy, almost like he was in the midst of falling asleep or just waking up.

She closed her eyes and calmly spoke back, trying not to fall apart. “Harry, why are you calling me?”

A grunt came out before his words. “M’sorry.. I know it’s late, Ivy.”

The sound of his voice saying her name was like music to her ears - a sound so beautiful and perfect that she wished she could hear it forever. Ivy gulped and took a long pause, which made him more nervous than he already was. She could hear how hard he was breathing, but it was slow.

“It’s very late.” She finally said back. “Are.. are you okay?”

Harry hesitated at first, only because he was unsure of how to word it. The alcohol was still present in his body. His mind wasn’t clear, and his heart was overpowering everything else. There was one thing he wanted.

“M’fine.. sorta.” He managed to get a couple words out, despite it not being what he wanted to tell her.

“Sorta?” She questioned, her voice so soft and light.

He wanted to reach through the phone and take ahold of her hands, he wanted to press a kiss to her forehead and tell her how pretty she was. He melted when she used that gentle tone, her innocence and sweetness made his heart swell.

“I.. m’not hurt or anything.”

A sigh of relief softly slipped through her lips. When her eyes opened, she realized it was dark in her room. She leaned over and switched on the lamp on her nightstand, the warm glow casted onto the ceiling. Harry was quiet as he waited for her to speak. As much as he wanted to ramble to her, he knew he had to be careful. One wrong thing could mess this all up.

“Why.. why did you call then?”

He gulped loud enough for her to hear over the phone. “I.. I have a question.”

She shook her head in disbelief. “A question at three in the morning?”

“M’sorry, Ivy, I know it’s.. it’s late.” He repeated what he already said.

Ivy felt a bit of irritation start to creep in. She wasn’t angry with him at this very moment, but she was confused as to what was happening. If he was alright and unharmed, then why was he calling her? More importantly, why was he avoiding telling her the truth?

“Harry, tell me why you called or I’m going to hang up.” She kept her courage solid, not willing to risk letting him get the upper hand in any way. One thing she had to enforce when it came to Harry was her own strength.

“Please, don’t.” He whispered out.

“Harry, I’m serious.”

She wasn’t completely sure, but she thought she heard him let out a soft whine. Thinking about him being sad was causing her heart to ache. She vividly remembered, and could never forget, how special it felt to have him console her when she was upset that night. Ivy wondered if he needed her in that way now, if it were his turn to be taken care of.

Harry choked out his response, his heart was racing in his chest. “Can.. can I see you? I.. I need to talk to you.”

She sighed. “Right now?”

This time she was sure she heard the whine he let out before his words stumbled from his mouth. “Yes, please. It’s.. it’s important, Ivy. I.. I need to see you.”

Everything was surreal now. She was becoming dizzy as the thoughts stormed in her mind. Harry was being more open than he ever had been. He was admitting that he needed to see her, and she could hear the desperation in his voice. She wanted to see him as much as he needed to see her..

“Are you drunk?”

Harry sucked in a breath, his nerves getting the best of him. “Yeah.. but it doesn't matter. I need to talk to you, please.”

Ivy’s heart skipped a beat as scary thoughts crossed her mind. “Are you driving?”

“No.” He was quick to answer, not wanting her to worry about him too much. “I’m with Michelle.. we had a show tonight.”

There was a quick feeling of remorse and regret growing in her gut. Although she was successful at not thinking about it all night, she began to wonder how the show was. She imagined Emma dancing along and cheering loud for them. She was curious to know what song they started off with because it was never the same order. And of course she was curious about their slower songs, what did Harry sit down on the stool and sing to the crowd? How many songs did he play the guitar while he sang? Did Harry’s eyes look out in the crowd for her, did he scan over heads and bodies trying to find her gaze? Her stomach was churning at the thoughts - had he been expecting to see her?

Ivy finally replied, pushing out a sigh. “Can this wait until-“

“No, Ivy.” Harry interrupted, squeezing his eyes shut as he silently prayed. “Please. I’m begging you, love.”

Just as every other time he’s said the word to her, it made her heart grow until it exploded in her chest. Her mind went fuzzy and her stomach filled with giant butterflies. It was such a simple word - one she wasn’t even sure was special - yet it easily drove her wild. It made her collapse like puddy in his hands.

“Ivy.. please.” He muttered out after a few long moments of her silence.

It was hard to weigh the pros and cons of her options. She was too focused on him to worry about anything else, including what wrong could come from this. It was safe to say she really didn’t care about the possible consequences.

“Okay.”

“Really?” He blurted.

“Yeah.” She kept her voice calm and light, not wanting to give away too much of her feelings over the phone. He didn’t need to know how worried she was about him.

“Michelle’s gonna drop me off. Is.. is that okay?” His voice quietened again, he was clearly nervous.

“Yeah, that’s fine. Just text me when you get here.”

Without waiting for his response, she ended the call and gripped the phone tight in her hand. She didn’t want him to get the last word - maybe that was part of her resentment towards him. He spent two weeks not communicating with her, he could survive the rest of his drive to her house.

Once Ivy realized what was actually about to happen, she climbed out of her bed and crossed her room. She put on a comfortable pair of pajama pants that didn’t really match her loose t-shirt, but she didn’t care as long as she was covered. She made her way into the living room where she turned on the lamp by the couch and sat down on the cushion, waiting somewhat patiently for her phone to ding.

Her eyes trailed over to the chair that Harry claimed as his spot while he stayed the weekend with her that time. The memories easily came to the forefront of her mind - he was so quiet and respectful while he was here. He watched the television with her mindlessly or sometimes focused depending on the show or movie, he sat at her kitchen table, he used her sink sponge, he touched the items in her refrigerator. He left his mark on everything in her house, including her.

Ivy opened the camera on her phone and looked at herself, hoping that she didn’t look worn out or ugly. Her hair was a bit messy, but she had it pushed over her shoulders. She let her lips shape to a soft smile as she thought about the night Harry touched her hair to move it for her. She liked the way it felt to have someone else’s fingers glide against her hair, especially Harry’s fingers. A sudden noise made her jump. A text message popped onto her screen, all of this was about to become very real for her. This wasn’t a dream.

Harry: I’m here

She didn’t reply, instead she moved her eyes to the door. She waited quietly, not sure how long it would take him to reach it. The house was extremely quiet, it was almost eerie. Her nerves were getting worked up as she sat there frozen on the couch. The sound his knuckles created against the door sounded amplified. She stood up and adjusted her shirt as she walked to the door, there was no going back now. If she really wanted to ignore him and forget this idea, she could simply turn around and go back to her room and leave him at the door. But that would be such a cruel thing to do. She wanted to see him, she just didn’t want to admit it to herself.

When she opened the door, she was met with his broad frame. The glow of the light outside of the door covered him, his saddened face shining in the yellow gleam. A frown was settled over his lips, his eyes weren’t wide open and his brows were limp on his forehead.

“Ivy.” He muttered her name out softly, afraid to speak too loudly to her.

She licked her lips and looked him up and down. He was in his usual attire, a dark colored tee and a pair of black jeans. She expected nothing different when it came to his clothes. And although it wasn’t necessarily cold outside, his leather jacket was tight on his arms. She gulped quietly, pushing down all the mixed emotions.

“Come inside.” She gestured with a nod of her head.

Harry dropped his eyes to his feet as he stepped over the threshold. He couldn’t believe that she was allowing this to happen. He knew he had one chance and he couldn’t fuck it up. There would be no way she would be able to forgive him if he did. Ivy shut the door behind him and turned the lock, chewing on her cheek as she watched him walk a few feet away from her. He was almost stumbling over his own feet.

“Hey, are you okay?” She appeared in front of him, her small hand reaching out to touch his elbow.

He was slightly hunched over, his head low and his arms seemingly weak by his sides. He grunted and lifted his eyes to look at her, surprised that she touched him but so grateful that she did.

“I’ve.. been trying to.. to sober up.”

Ivy nodded lightly, sliding her hand down to his wrist. He moved his eyes to witness it for himself. She carefully grabbed onto his hand, but she didn’t lace their fingers. She kept it loose, in case he wanted to pull back from her. She doubted he would, though.

“Do you want to sit down?”

Harry’s brows furrowed as he thought about her question. He had stopped drinking almost an hour ago, but the amount he consumed was more than he normally had and it was getting to him. He shrugged lightly before deciding to squeeze her hand. She liked the gesture, but she chose not to return it.

“Harry, look at me.” She reached up to nudge his chin with the side of her finger.

He sighed, but obliged with her command. When his eyes met hers, it was so easy to tell she was concerned. He felt his pulse go haywire as he stared into her pretty eyes. He missed her so much, missed looking at her and seeing her eyes sparkle.

“M’sorry m’drunk.” His voice was almost a slur.

“It’s fine. You just need some water and a snack.”

He shook his head. “No, I.. I wanna talk to you.”

“You can talk to me after I make sure you’re okay.” Ivy finally squeezed his hand back, that alone made his mood shift. He wanted to pick her up and twirl her around, but he didn’t have the stability to do that right now. “Are you tired?”

“A bit, yeah.” He nodded, but then he frowned. “But, but I.. want to talk, Ivy, not sleep.”

She let a soft laugh escape. “I know, we will.”

“Where are we going?” He asked as she started to walk, tugging him behind her.

“You seem dizzy and I don’t want you to get hurt.”

He groaned slightly. “I won’t get hurt.”

“Shh, or I’ll make you go home.” She warned, slightly joking with him.

He smiled gently to himself, confused as to what she was doing but he was going along with it. He looked around as he walked the familiar path down her hallway. He had wished that weekend with her lasted a lot longer than it did, and now he’s glad he’s back. When she got to her bedroom, she opened the door and immediately guided him to her bed.

Harry’s eyes began to look around the room, it was foreign to him as he was forbidden from entering it during his stay. Ivy pointed to the bed, silently instructing him to sit down. He did as she wanted and let his head fall back so he could see her. She gave him a light smile and looked down at his feet.

“Take your shoes off. I’m going to go get you some water and something to eat.”

Just as she let go of his hand, he grunted and quickly spoke back. “Wait, am I.. am I staying here?”

“Well, I’m not driving this late at night and.. I figured you’d rather stay the night than find a way home.” She crossed her arms over her chest loosely, her eyes looking straight into his. “No funny business, though.”

“I.. I can stay on the couch.” He tried to stand up, but she grabbed his shoulder to push him back down.

“For now, stay here. We can talk when I get back, then I’ll get you a blanket for the couch.”

Harry didn’t say anything back, he was unsure of how this would go. When Ivy left the room, he let his curiosity get the best of him. He wasn’t sure what her room looked like before tonight. He had his wonders and his assumptions, but what he saw was more than he imagined. He figured she had a lot of girly things, maybe mostly pink or a chic white that matched everything. He was somewhat on the right path.

Her room was rather large, enough for her king sized bed to fit nicely while still having plenty of room. Her bed was tucked into the corner, and it was filled with more than just pillows and blankets. She had a collection of stuffed animals of varying sizes perfectly placed in the corner of the bed. They expanded out and against the wall, almost to the foot of the bed. Harry twisted his body as he looked around the room. He was amazed by all the different stuffed animals she had. Some were big and round, almost like thick pillows, while others were smaller and tucked tight against each other. When he looked at her pillow, he didn’t expect to see the pig he got her sitting there. It looked as though she abandoned it when she got up. Maybe she was sleeping with it cuddled against her? He hoped that was the case.

She had a few plants in her window that looked to be thriving and healthy. There were several little random things sitting next to the plants, including a small geode, a fairy figurine, and a glass jar full of buttons. He thought it was adorable, her mix of random odds and ends. She had a tall bookcase that was mostly full of things, only one shelf housed books. It was evident that she liked to collect random things. Most of the items seemed to be older or of a certain style. Harry felt as though he could discover something new every time he made his rounds in the room. There were things tucked here and there. Her vanity was neatly organized, aside from a few makeup products left out. He wondered what her routine was. Was it quick and easy or was it complicated and lengthy? His favorite thing, though, was a small, decorative glass dish on her nightstand that was placed next to her lamp. It was home to something familiar, something he recognized the moment his eyes landed on it. There in the small dish laid the guitar pick he had given her as a keepsake. It made his heart shake as he realized she kept it so close to her. It seemed like a safe spot for it, somewhere she could leave it and not worry about it. He knew she’d keep it safe. As he was scanning his eyes over the pattern of her rug, the door opened.

“I got you a banana.” She said with a soft sigh as she reached him, handing him the bottle of water and the piece of fruit she picked out.

He took them and started to peel open the banana. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Ivy sat down next to him, almost close enough for their bodies to touch. “If it’s not enough, you can have something else.”

Harry bit a piece off, chewing slowly as his headache started to pound harder. He closed his eyes to avoid the light, even though the lamp wasn’t bright it was enough to irritate him. Ivy watched him with worried eyes, not sure if he was going to pass out or throw up whatever his stomach was holding on to.

“Do you feel bad?” She asked quietly, her hand touching his thigh as she leaned closer, their arms brushing together.

“M’alright.”

She breathed out, not believing him. “Your face is red. Are you hot?”

“Little bit.” He mumbled back.

Ivy jumped up and walked towards the door. She flicked the switch, then went to pull the chain of her ceiling fan, turning the light off but leaving the blades spinning. She hoped that would help him some.

“Take this off.” Her hand touched his arm, her skin pressing against the leather jacket.

He finished off the banana, dropping the peel in her hand as she extended her palm to him. She tossed it in the small trash bin next to her vanity, not caring about taking it to the kitchen right now. Ivy kept herself a few feet away as Harry tugged the jacket off his body. He smiled to himself as she took it and laid it gently over her vanity chair.

“Now, that should help.” She returned to her spot next to him.

Being able to feel the cool air against his now exposed skin was actually relieving. He ran a hand through his hair, pushing it back messily. The motion made Ivy chew on her cheek. He was always so attractive in her eyes.

“Can, um, can we talk now?” Harry turned his head towards her, glad to see her sparkling eyes were already looking his way.

“I guess so.”

He didn’t know exactly how to say what he wanted to, so he took a long moment to think it through. He didn’t want to mess it up and ruin things with her again. She was too important to lose. Ivy was patient with him, understanding that not only was he upset, but his mind was juggling the alcohol, too. He realized he was staring at her leg, so he looked back up. The glimmer in her eyes made his heart flutter.

“I’m sorry I.. I haven’t talked to you.” He pushed out the words nervously. “I was.. kind of.. afraid.”

She licked her lips and swallowed softly. “I didn’t think you could be afraid of anything.”

The gentle smile on her mouth made his tension ease. “When it comes to you, I am.”

“You really hurt my feelings, Harry. I was.. very upset.”

His brows dropped and a frown tugged on his lips. “I know I did. I’m sorry.”

“Why were you afraid?” She wasn’t going to let him off that easily. She wanted to know the details and the reasoning behind his decision.

Harry tore his eyes away from her. He couldn’t stomach looking at her while talking about this. He was ashamed and upset at himself, and disappointing her made him feel terrible.

“Because I.. I didn’t want to hurt you. I didn’t want to risk it. M’not good for you.”

Ivy trailed her gaze down to Harry’s hands. He was twisting one of his rings around his finger. It was evident that he was nervous and probably embarrassed. He didn’t seem like the kind of person who willingly admitted their feelings - she knew he wasn’t normally doing things like this. Although the whole situation hurt her, she couldn’t get past how he was battling this. She felt bad that he was so nervous. Ivy wanted him to fully trust her, to know she was right here.

“Why do you think that?”

The laugh he let out wasn’t humorous. “It’s pretty obvious I’m shit at treating you right.” He shook his head lightly as he pulled one of the rings off to push it down on another finger. He was trying to distract himself, but Ivy’s presence was making that impossible to achieve.

“You weren’t shit the other night. You were pretty good at it.”

He exhaled, not sure what to do. “Was I though? I didn’t talk to you after. I should have.”

“Well, I agree. You should have. But.. you were there for me when you didn’t have to be.” Ivy shifted her upper body so she was facing him, her hand moved to his forearm.

He looked over at her hand, noticing the perfectly painted pink polish on her nails. Her skin was the softest thing he’d ever felt. That night she held onto his hand like he’d slip away any moment was something he cherished. He missed the feeling of her skin.

“I know it’s kinda scary. I.. I was afraid to let myself open up to you, but when I did it felt so good. Like you were the only person I wanted to be around.” She pressed the pads of her fingers into his skin, careful not to let her nails sink into his flesh. “We don’t have to be scared anymore, Harry.”

When she said his name, he bit down on his tongue and tried to control the tingles running through his body. She was the one thing he wanted, the one thing he’d go to the ends of the earth to save. He wanted her, but the fear was strong. Ruining her was his biggest fear.

“I’m going to hurt you, Ivy.”

She squeezed his arm. “Why are you saying that?”

“Because I know it’s true.”

Harry immediately felt a punch to his gut as she let go of his arm. He wanted to beg her to put her hand back, to grip him even tighter. She didn’t move away, though. Her eyes stayed glued to the side of his face.

“If you don’t want to try, then just tell me, Harry.” Her voice wasn’t as soft as before, she was being serious. “I can’t keep.. running in the same circles.”

The thought of losing her to another person was heartbreaking. If he told her he couldn’t do this or didn’t want to, then she’d give up and let it go. She’d move on. She’d start by telling him to go home and never talk to her again. It was the scariest thought in his mind. He couldn’t lose her again, not forever.

“Of course I want to, Ivy. I don’t.. don’t wanna keep trying to.. to ignore you.” Harry fought the desire to reach for her hand. Even while telling her he wanted to do this with her, he was hesitant to make a move.

“Then let’s stop. I hate this stupid game.” Her voice fell back to a soft whisper.

“Can you.. forgive me?” He returned his eyes to hers, the world stopped spinning. “I wouldn’t blame you if you couldn’t.”

Ivy couldn’t help but to get lost in his eyes. She recalled the very first time she saw them. Nothing was as special as the night he was singing on stage with his gaze glued to her. It was easy to remember how bubbly her stomach was and how fast her heart raced that night. She thought about how worried he looked when she told him some stranger had approached her. But with every good memory, there were bad ones to consider. The night the cup of beer was accidentally spilt on her, his eyes were full of anger and rage. The time at the restaurant when he called her out for staring at him, his eyes were cold and harsh. She wondered if she could ease that anger, calm the rage, and tame the arrogance. She knew he could laugh and joke around. She knew he could grin and smirk. She knew he had joy in him, that he had happiness. She’s seen it first hand, felt the warmth of his smile, experienced the sweetness in his tone and the concern in his eyes. Ivy knew she could love him if he let her.

“Tell me something first.” She finally whispered, carefully placing her hand back on his arm.

He nodded, glancing down at her hand. Her skin was colder than usual, but he figured the temperature in the room was to blame.

“Be honest with me.” She started with a sigh, which made him wary. “Did you hate me when we first met?”

Harry gulped gently, hoping she couldn’t hear or notice his throat move. He licked his lips, his eyes fixated on hers. She wasn’t making it easy to stare at her - her gorgeous features always made him feel immense amounts of admiration.

“No, I never hated you. Not once.” Harry said truthfully.

“Then why did you act like you did?”

He shrugged lightly, the answer was complicated to understand himself, he was sure he couldn’t explain it correctly to her. He chose the best answer, making it quick while still being honest.

“I was jealous.. and I didn’t know how to talk to you.”

Ivy’s brows furrowed slightly. “Jealous?”

“Everyone kept your attention. I felt like I didn’t have a chance. Plus.. some people seem to like you in more ways than others.” His response was genuine and it made her smile a little.

“It’s hard to believe you couldn’t tell I was.. sort of fascinated by you. I would’ve talked to you for hours if you wanted me to.” Ivy slid her hand down some, covering his wrist but stopping before she reached his hand.

“I wanted to believe you were.. but I wasn’t sure. After a while, I knew you’d probably give me your attention.. but I was stupid.” Harry considered asking her to hold his hand, but he didn’t want to seem weird.

“I wish you would’ve tried.” Ivy felt a pinch in her heart. “But I could’ve tried more, too.”

He grunted. “You were nice to me a lot.. when you shouldn’t have been. It’s my fault.”

“Tried my best, I guess.”

Harry went quiet for a couple of long moments. He just stared at her like he’d never see again. Every detail of her face was captured by his brain - he wanted to remember every single inch of her face. She felt a layer of blush rise to her cheeks. Ivy nervously laughed and looked down at her lap. Now was his chance to tell her what he’s wanted to say this entire time, what he should’ve made clear the other night. She deserved to know how special she was, how much she mattered to him.

He reached over with his other hand to gently grab her chin between his thumb and index finger. He tilted her head back towards him, their eyes locking. Her breathing became more rapid as the anxiety began to creep through her veins. She wasn’t sure what to expect but she hoped it was going to be good. She couldn’t handle any more sadness.

His voice was low and deep as it rolled through the air, causing goosebumps to cover her skin. “You mean everything to me.. and I’m sorry if I ever made you think that you didn’t matter.”

“You did.. a lot.” Her lips fell, it was hard to admit it to his face but she knew he had to hear it.

He nodded back, already aware of his mistakes. “I know, and I’ll spend the rest of life trying to make it up to you. I’m sorry, Ivy.”

She finally moved her hand down to his, slipping her fingers around his palm. “I forgive you,”

“You don’t have to.” He furrowed his brows. As much as he wanted her to, he didn’t think he deserved her forgiveness.

She playfully rolled her eyes and leaned forward to place a kiss to his cheek. “But I do.”

“You’re too sweet to me, love.” He smiled when she kissed his dimple a second time.

“Just showing you that it’s possible for someone to be sweet to you.” Her light giggle made his smile grow.

“I like it, I know that for sure.” His fingertips traced her jaw bone as he moved his hand, settling it on the side of her neck just below her ear.

She nuzzled further into his touch, enjoying the way it made her feel. Ivy’s lips pecked a kiss to his chin, almost brushing his lips but she didn’t dare do that.

He rubbed his thumb over her skin. “Such a sweet girl, hm?”

“Sometimes.”

“Most of the time.” He clarified, his lips touching her cheek as he spoke. “Can.. can I kiss you?”

Ivy let out a quick breath, followed by a bigger smile and a soft laugh. “Please do.”

Harry molded his lips to hers and instantly sparks went off. He was gentle with her, paying attention to how she moved and reacted to him. The last thing he wanted was to move too quickly and scare her off. Ivy let go of his hand and grabbed onto his waist, squeezing him hard as she let out a soft moan. Since his hand was free, he slipped his arm around her body, pulling her forward. They moved in sync for a few minutes, softly pecking each other’s mouths and laughing between breaths. Harry had never kissed someone so gently before, aside from the first time he kissed her. It was magical and beautiful to him, everything was soft and sweet. It made him appreciate it more. It was special.

Ivy leaned back as she exhaled, but she didn’t go far. They stared at each other for a long moment, then returned to the kisses. This time, Harry held them longer and deeper. He wanted to ease her into doing more without scaring her. He didn’t know what her experience entailed.

A groan slipped out of his mouth as her hand found its way to his face. She held his cheek, keeping his mouth glued to hers. They were both lost in bliss, neither of them stuck dealing with their thoughts right now. Everything was perfect and just the way they imagined. Ivy felt some relief as Harry’s tongue gently poked out, silently testing the waters. When she didn’t pull away, he took that as permission. Her lips parted and his tongue slowly entered her mouth. She sunk her nails through the fabric of his shirt, anchoring into his body as he ran his tongue over hers.

Harry heard every single whimper and soft moan she let out, and he enjoyed every sound. He went on for as long as she wanted, letting her run her hand down his chest and around to his back. He let her do whatever she wanted. Her fingertips lurked around to the nape of his neck, twisting in his hair. That pulled a grunt deep from his throat, his stomach twisting as he fought back his stronger feelings. He didn’t want to push this too far.

After a couple of minutes of swapping tongue control and moaning lightly to each other, Ivy broke the kiss and left a few pecks on his mouth before pulling back. Her hand slid back to his neck then down, dropping onto his leg while the other still held his waist. He licked his wet lips and smirked as he caught her eyes. Her face was flushed and her gaze was starry.

“You’re good at that.” He whispered, letting a low laugh follow.

She grinned back. “As I’ve been told.”

Harry bit down on his lip, wishing he was back in her mouth. “Sweet but still sassy, hm?”

“Have to keep you on your toes.” Ivy dropped her eye in a wink.

“You’re good at that, too.” He placed a quick kiss on the corner of her mouth, making her blush even harder. “Thank you for letting me apologize and talk to you.”

She gave him a cheeky smile. “You don’t have to thank me.”

“That sounds familiar, hm?” He teased back, picking up on her cute joke.

“I’m glad we talked. This is how it should’ve been before.” She said through a sigh, keeping a smile on her face so he knew she wasn’t sad anymore.

“I know, but we’ll keep it this way from now on.”

“Sounds like a deal to me.”

Harry took a slow, deep breath and held it for a few seconds before pushing it out. He let go of her, bringing his hands to his thighs. Ivy wasn’t sure why he was moving away from her, but when he suddenly stood up she quickly joined him.

“I guess it’s time for me to head to the couch.” He nodded his head towards her bedroom door.

She felt a lump forming in her throat, but she pushed it down and stayed confident. “You don’t have to.. unless you want to.”

He really couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Was she insisting he stay in her room and sleep in the bed with her? He didn’t want to assume anything, so he made sure to clarify.

“Do you want me to go in there?”

She shook her head shyly, her eyes falling down. “No, but.. if you want to, that’s fine.”

Harry chuckled as he took hold of her hand, giving her a comforting squeeze. “I’ll stay here with you.. I’d be honored to.”

“Okay.” A sweet smile covered her lips as she picked her head up to look at him.

“I’ll keep my clothes on.” He mumbled, glancing down at the fabrics latching onto his body.

Ivy couldn’t manage to get any words out, she was too embarrassed by him saying that. She couldn’t resist imagining him without a shirt on. She wondered what hid beneath the fabric.

“I’ll do what you tell me to do.” Harry said as he watched her eyes move over to the bed.

“There should be enough room.. with all my stuff.” She scanned over the plushies and roughly calculated the amount of space they had available.

“You don’t have to move anything for me.”

Ivy heard him but she ignored his comment. She climbed on the bed, moving on her hands and knees. She sat down and started to shift a few of the larger ones closer to the wall, creating more space for herself. She preferred to sleep in the middle of the bed, so she was leaving the outside open for him. Her legs slipped under the blankets before she looked back to him. He gave her a smile, amused by the precision she used to place the stuffed animals.

“Are you okay with the outside?”

Harry grabbed his belt buckle. “Whatever works for you, love.”

“What are you doing?” She chirped, her eyes widening as she watched him pull the belt through the loops.

He let out a light laugh. “Just taking this off so m’not laying on it. Is that alright?”

Her racing heart relaxed as she understood what he was doing. “Yeah, sorry.”

“It’s fine. I know it’s.. weird and unexpected. But I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“I’m okay.” She assured him with a smile and a nod, then she patted the open space beside her. “Get comfy.”

Harry pulled each ring off his hands and carefully placed them on her nightstand. She had seen him wear more before, but tonight it was just a total of four. He grabbed the blanket and pulled it back, his eyes glancing down at the white sheet. He wasn’t expecting this to happen at all. He never would’ve imagined this option would be in the cards for him. With a gentle sigh, he got into her bed.

Ivy stayed still as he got situated, and once he was comfortable she laid down on her side to face him. There was space between them, but it felt like there was none at all. The reality of him being in her bed next to her was pumping her brain full of intense thoughts. Harry was in her bedroom laying next to her..

He was on his back with one arm resting over his stomach and the other folded underneath his head. His eyes were on her, though. The glow from the lamp casted a golden light over her, illuminating her features beautifully.

“Sorry you have to see all my stupid stuff.” She said in a mumble to break the silence.

He furrowed his brows. “What do you mean?”

“My plushies and my crap all over the room.” She rolled her eyes at herself.

It wasn’t that she hated her belongings, it was just sort of embarrassing for her. Her bedroom was her most private space and allowing someone into it was not something she was used to. Emma was the only person who had experience being in here.

Harry was entertained by the annoyance she had with herself. “You have all these things for a reason.. I assume they mean something to you, yeah?”

“Yeah.. I’d say so.” She shrugged back.

He stared into her dazzling eyes for a moment, easily distracted by them. “Then it’s not stupid stuff. You love these little things.”

“It’s mostly silly things.”

Harry smiled. “Silly things you love.”

She became silent as her cheeks kept a hold of a thick layer of blush she couldn’t seem to get rid of at all. Harry kept his stare on her while she looked down, keeping her eyes away from his. It was so easy to feel his eyes, to feel the burning of her skin as he fixated on her.

He wasn’t sure if she wanted to keep talking or if she was tired. Her eyes weren’t struggling to stay open, so maybe she wasn’t sleepy just yet. A thousand thoughts flooded his mind, but he focused on only a few. He wanted to hear her voice, wanted her to talk his ears off. Without contemplating any further, he turned himself onto his side to face her, his arm sneaking under the pillow. His other hand dropped to rest on the mattress, capturing her attention. She stared at it for a long moment, wondering if she should grab it or not.

“Y’know.. I missed you at the show tonight.” Harry’s low tone made her toes curl, she loved the sound of his voice.

She darted her eyes back to his. “Well, I didn’t figure you’d want me there.. so I chose to stay home.”

“I messed up big time, hm?” He sighed out slowly, regretting so much while still being thankful for this moment and everything that happened tonight. “Hopefully you’ll come to the next one.”

She nervously laughed at his wink. “If I’m invited, of course.”

Harry moved his hand across the space between them and slid it beneath hers. “This is your invitation.”

Ivy smiled sweetly as he squeezed her hand. She chose to let him go, only so she could guide his hand where she wanted it. There was no doubt in her mind that he would be okay with whatever she wanted him to do. She placed his hand on her waist and let her fingers fall from his skin. He shaped his hand to her form and held her tight, glad to know she was wanting this from him.

She didn’t verbally acknowledge her actions. “Did you sing any new songs?”

“Yeah.. I sang one for you.. thought I’d see your pretty eyes in the crowd.” His lips turned to a smirk when she shied away from his stare.

“What song?”

“Lips of an Angel.. when I heard your karaoke rendition I figured you liked that song.” He tried to catch her gaze but she was purposely denying him of it.

“I love that song.. I’m sorry I missed it.”

“I’ll play it for you next time.” He squeezed her waist, getting her attention.

“Promise?” Her eyes moved to his finally after her tricks.

“Promise.”

There was only thing circling Ivy’s mind, and that was that she wanted to feel his lips on hers again. She wanted to kiss him until the world ended. The desire was burning inside of her, she was becoming impatient with her own thoughts. Harry believed he was good at catching every micro change in her expressions, so he noticed when she was suddenly distracted. He lowered his hand just a tiny bit on her waist, trying his best to get her attention. As her eyes shifted back to his, he gave her a soft smile. Before he could get anything out, she spoke.

“Harry.. can you..” The words were quiet, and the pause was not part of her plan. That confidence she thought she possessed had burned out, or at least vanished for now. She was nervous again.

“I’ll do whatever you want me to do.” Harry reminded her as he watched her tongue poke out to coat her lips.

She pulled in a breath, then mustered up enough strength to ask him. “Can you come closer?”

“Yeah.” He was quick to reply.

Ivy felt the warmth radiating off his body come closer to her as he shifted over on the mattress. They were still apart, though. She didn’t think that would be enough to hold her over. She moved her hand onto his forearm, circling her fingers around him. Harry could tell she wanted to say something else, but she was anxious.

“Want me closer?” He decided to just ask her to make it easier for her.

She lifted the corners of her mouth, her eyes peering into his. “Please.”

He obliged and scooted closer to her, leaving just a few small inches between their bodies. Ivy’s heart grew ten times bigger as she realized how close they were. There was a relief that came with it. She felt safer now. If there was anything she was sure of, it was that Harry would do anything to protect her.. whether they were in a crowded bar or not.

“Is this better?” He asked, also noticing how much closer they were now. Her face was aligned with his, and the need to kiss her was trying to take over.

She grunted lightly. “A bit closer.”

Ivy was the one to move this time, fully closing the space. Her chest softly pushed into his, and at first she was hesitant about the feeling, but she quickly let it go. There were more important things to focus on in her mind. Harry’s hand slipped to the small of her back as he held her body against his own.

“Is this okay?”

He nodded lightly. “Perfect.”

“You’re so warm.” She whispered as her eyelids fell shut, she was soaking up every second of it.

Harry gently touched his lips to her chin, the heat of her breath fanned over his skin. “You’re quite the cuddle bug, hm?”

She put on a shy smile, burying her face into his. “Guess so.. never done this before.”

“Neither have I.”

Ivy dropped her brows, not fully believing him. “Really?”

“This is too personal and intimate.. never done this with anyone.”

She swallowed carefully, hoping not to make an audible noise. “Too personal?”

“It’s not a bad thing with you, love. I didn’t care about anyone else. I’d cuddle you forever, sweet girl.” Harry was more clear with his words this time, not wanting her to think that she wasn’t worth it.

“Don’t cuddle with anyone else ever.”

He chuckled back, his lips pressing a kiss to the corner of her mouth. “Only you.”

“Can you kiss me again?” The question flew from her mouth before she wanted it to, which made her cheeks glow red and her eyes squeeze shut.

Harry licked his lips and smirked lightly. “You can kiss me, too, y’know.”

He didn’t expect her to flutter her eyes open, but being this close made it so intense. She bit down on her cheek, just staring at him as he pecked her cheek again. She wanted to swallow his tongue, wanted to get so lost in his mouth that she would forget it was real.

“I like it when you do it first.” She uttered back, her lips barely moving as she spoke.

Harry didn’t want to tease her anymore, although he liked it when she was on the edge. He put his mouth on hers and instantly everything changed. This kiss felt different, it felt more intense and real. They were laying in her bed together, their bodies touching and their mouths connected. It felt like a dream.

As he brought his other arm out from under his head to wrap around her, she snuck her hands onto his body. One was pressed on the side of his neck as the other crawled down his torso until it landed on his waist. She could feel every curve and dip of his toned body through the fabric of his shirt, and the heat of his skin was burning hot. Harry lost his hand in the back of her head, tangling his fingers into her long hair and grunting loud as he pushed his tongue as far as it would go into her mouth. She enjoyed every second of it, every touch and sound and bump of their bodies hitting together.

Ivy’s chest was pushing into his and he couldn’t help but to feel the hardness of her nipples grow. He tried hard to ignore it, but they were literally against him and it was difficult. The kiss grew sloppier than the previous one had been. Ivy fought for control of his mouth and after a few giggles and scratches of her nails, he let her have it. She explored his mouth, pulling moans from his throat that made a small damp spot form on her underwear. She had never felt this way before, never felt like she was going to melt into someone’s arms. If she never kissed anyone again, she’d be fine with Harry being her last.

Her mind was so boggled and dizzy that she didn’t realize her leg was lifting to rest over his. Harry was reading her body, trying his best to determine what she wanted. He was confident that she was giving him signals, that she wanted more to happen. He was going with the flow he thought she was giving out. He grabbed her waist, just above her hip, and pushed her back. His elbow dug into the bed as he tried to get above her. But just as he managed to get a leg between hers, she came to her senses and started shaking her head, pulling herself from his mouth. Her hand shot to his chest as he tried to push him away.

“No, Harry, stop.”

He immediately froze and let go of her. He leaned back, tracing his eyes over her face to get her expression. She was frowning and her brows were low, and worse of all she had tears swelling in her eyes.

“I can’t.. not now, I’m sorry.” Ivy’s bottom lip started to quiver.

Harry shook his head and reached up to touch her jaw. “Don’t get upset, baby. It’s okay. I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry.”

He swore he saw twinkles in her eyes as they widened. She didn’t care about anything that he said except one specific word. It made her heart stop and her stomach fall, did he actually say that? Harry was getting nervous as she just gazed at him, almost like she couldn’t believe what was happening.

“B-baby?” She muttered out.

“Do you not want me to call you that? M’sorry.”

Her frustrated frown turned up to a smile. “No, I do. I.. I do.”

“Yeah?” He said with a gentle laugh, amazed by her reactions to him.

It was just literal moments ago that she was scared and worried, now she’s being the cutest thing he’s ever seen. Her hand reached up to his neck, pulling him down to her mouth. She laid a few kisses on his lips, then one to both of his dimples. He grinned when she let him go.

“Yeah.” She assured him.

“Then you’re my baby, hm?” He planted a kiss on her forehead before looking back into her pretty eyes. Her emotions were swirled thick, he still wasn’t quite sure how she was feeling. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to pressure you.”

“It’s okay, I know.” Ivy said through a brief.

He furrowed his brows, sort of irritated by his own actions. “Got a bit ahead of m’self.”

“Me, too.” She smiled back, letting her teeth show for a second as she laughed.

“I don’t want to rush anything with you. Take your time, okay?” He made sure his tone was serious so she knew he wasn’t trying to do anything she wasn’t ready for.

“Okay.”

Harry moved back to his previous spot, his hand returning to her waist. She seemed fine with the arrangement as she snuggled closer to him again, hiding her face in his neck. When she moved her arm between their bodies, Harry was confused by what she was doing. She covered her own chest, separating their bodies.

“Oh my god, I’m sorry. I.. it won’t stop.” Ivy whined as she tried her best to get her nipples to relax.

“What’s the matter?”

“My.. my boobs.” She sighed out, not wanting to directly say it.

Harry smiled and held in a laugh, he didn’t want her to think he was making fun of her. “You’re fine, love. Just a natural reaction.”

A huff passed her lips. “It’s embarrassing.”

“I didn’t mind it. That showed me I was doing something right. You don’t have to hide unless you want to.” He had a way of talking that just made her entire body relax. Any worry she had subsided, he knew exactly what to say and how to say it.

“Having my arm like this isn’t comfortable.” She admitted.

“Then put it down. You’re fine.” Harry’s hand moved to gently touch her elbow, insisting she relax her body.

They went silent for a short time, both of them just staring at the other. Harry’s eyes were half hooded as his body began to slowly crash down. He was exhausted, but he was trying to stay active for her. Even after their heated exchange of physical contact, he was tired. Ivy kept looking at the chain around his neck. After a few minutes of just admiring the metal against his skin, she let her curiosity take over. Her hand moved up to his collar, her fingers dipping under his shirt. Harry’s eyes opened as he felt her tugging the pendant out of his shirt. She rubbed the cross slowly, feeling the smooth texture of the metal against her skin.

“Curious little cat, hm?” Harry hummed, the vibrations from his throat sounded loud to her ears.

She rolled in her lips as she stared at the cross for a little while longer before letting it fall. “Harry.”

“Yeah?”

Ivy leaned forward to leave a kiss on his chin. “I like kissing you.. a lot.”

A smile yanked his lips up. “Yeah? You’ve got nice lips.”

“Mhm.” She nodded gently when he moved his eyes to meet hers. “And I.. like it when you touch me. Feel so safe when you do that.”

Harry returned the gesture and placed a soft kiss on her cheek, making her curl her body closer into his. “I’ll always keep you safe.”

His hand shaped to the curve of her lower back, securing her body in place. He wasn’t sure how she slept, if she was the kind of person who tossed and turned or if she got settled in one spot and stayed there until morning. It was exciting to know he’d find out soon, that he’d wake up to see her in the morning. Ivy pushed her face back into his neck, her lips leaving a kiss on the base of his throat.

“Promise you’ll still be here when I wake up?” She mumbled out quietly.

He kissed her head, her hair slightly sticking to his lips. “I promise. I have to get some good morning kisses.”

“We’ll see about that. Goodnight, Harry.” Her words were followed by a yawn, he knew it was over for her. She would be fast asleep before she realized.

“Goodnight, Ivy. Sweet dreams.”

—•—

It wasn’t exactly early in the morning when Ivy started to stir, waking up from her deep sleep. She grunted slightly as she felt an incredible warmth engulfing her, the same heat that kept her cozy all night. Her eyes finally peeled open. A gentle sigh left her mouth as she was met with an incredibly close view of Harry’s neck. It was hard to believe it all wasn’t some crazy, elaborate dream. It was real. He was in her bed with her, sleeping peacefully with his arms locked around her body.

The sun snuck in through the blinds and half drawn back curtains. She didn’t dare move her body to check the time, she didn’t care about that. If she moved, she’d disturb Harry and she knew he needed as much rest as possible. Not only did he have a show the night before that wore him out, but he consumed a lot of alcohol and exhausted himself. She wanted him to sleep longer.

As he laid there asleep, she couldn’t help but stare at him. Now was her perfect chance to get an uninterrupted look at every inch of him. Ivy wanted to take note of every detail of his face, look over every little thing to memorize it. So she did just that. For what felt like forever, she observed his skin. She was familiar with his face, but she did take notice of a few small things she hadn’t seen before. When she moved her eyes down his neck, she felt a jolt inside of her at the sight of the structure hiding beneath his skin. Veins, muscles, bones. He was beautiful in every way to her.

What captured her attention the most, though, was his arm. She slowly snuck her hand up to his bicep where she pushed back the cover and started to run her eyes over his tattoos. She’s seen his arms plenty of times before, but she never had the chance to actually look at the ink buried into his skin. Ivy practically held her breath in order to stay calm and quiet. She tried not to make a sound. In addition to his tattoos, his toned muscles wrapped tight by his skin made her heart beat faster than usual. He was attractive in every way possible.

She didn’t really know what hid under his sleeve. She couldn’t recall ever seeing that area of his arm. Her fingers lightly touched his skin, just enough so she could push them up against the fabric. It raised with her movements, scrunching up as she moved it up his arm. She wasn't sure how far she could get it without being a pest and disturbing his slumber, but she tested the limits. A faint grunt came from him as she shoved the sleeve up even further. Ivy paused, her eyes shooting to his to make sure they were still closed. The tiny space between his parted lips hadn’t changed and his eyes were sealed, she was certain that he was asleep.

A smile formed over her lips as she scanned over the tattoos she hadn’t seen before. It made her curiosity about the rest of his body grow. Did he have tattoos on this part of his other arm? Were his legs home to any ink? Was his back free of anything or was it covered? She wanted to know, and she hoped that one day soon she’d find out. Once she made a mental note of the tattoos, she rested her hand on his arm and slowly inched it back down to his elbow. She couldn’t remember a time when she was more gentle than right now. Her eyes were trained on his arm so intensely that she didn’t catch him waking up.

Harry first thought he was imagining something touching him. Maybe it was just the blanket moving on his skin? But he quickly realized there was actually something moving against his skin. When he barely opened his eyes, just enough for him to see through his lashes, he saw that Ivy was in fact awake and touching him. He recognized the feeling of her fingertips on his skin, of her hand moving down his arm. Her pretty eyes were locked elsewhere, not looking his way at all. A subtle smile crept on his lips as he watched her. She seemed to be very focused on what she was feeling and staring at. He wondered what was going through her mind. Was she patiently waiting for him to wake up or was she savoring the silence and opportunity to admire him without being watched? He assumed it was both. Ivy drug her hand further down his arm, rubbing over his elbow before she stopped it again, at the top of his forearm. She was hardly applying any pressure, which created a tingly feeling on his skin.

After a few more moments of watching her, he started to wake up more. He didn’t want to startle her, so he carefully began to move. He slid his hand a few inches up her back, grunting as he leaned his head forward. She had created a little distance when she chose to observe him. Ivy shot her eyes to his face, not expecting to see his eyes. He smiled lightly, still trying to wake up fully.

“Good morning.” She whispered sweetly as she kissed his chin.

He went in for a kiss, but instead of her cheek he opted for her lips. She smiled against his mouth, happy that he greeted her with a few soft pecks. As much as she enjoyed the use of his tongue, she appreciated the soft, delicate actions just as much.

“Good morning.”

Ivy let out a gentle sigh. “Did I wake you up?”

“No.. but I saw you looking at my arm.” Harry gave her a smile, amused by how red her cheeks were.

“Sorry, I was being nosy.” A breathy laugh followed her soft voice.

“You’re fine, love. Do you wanna see the rest?” Harry didn’t give her time to answer, instead he raised his arm up, exposing the underside.

It took all of her control to not burst into flames from the embarrassment of being caught. Although she was shy at first about it, Ivy found herself pulling down the sleeve of his shirt so she could see every inch of his arm. Harry watched her eyes as they moved along his skin, covering every line inked into his arm. She was trying to take a note of each one, making sure she’d never forget them.

“Why are you staring at me? You’re making me nervous.” She mumbled in a light tone, her eyes avoiding his as she fixed his sleeve back to its normal spot.

Harry lowered his arm, returning his hand to her waist. “Because you’re beautiful. Hard not to stare at something so perfect.”

Ivy pushed out a breath and lightly shook her head. She placed her hand on his forearm and gave it a squeeze, wishing he’d go easy on her with his statements of admiration. As much as she appreciated it, it was hard for her to believe it was true. He took notice of how she was growing shy again, her eyes were trained on his neck and her teeth sunk into her bottom lip.

“Do you want to see more of them?”

Ivy perked up, her eyes growing wide with curiosity. A smile covered her lips, Harry was glad to see that his idea had brightened her mood. She nodded and waited patiently as he started to move. Harry laid back and shoved the blankets down. As he grabbed the hem of his shirt, Ivy propped up on her elbow to get a better view. She wasn’t sure what he was going to uncover, but she was ready to glue her eyes to his skin. Harry pulled his shirt up to his collarbones, holding it out of the way.

She was unsure of what captivated her the most - his tattoos or his body. His muscles were toned beneath his skin, just like they were in his arms. He was built incredibly, like a marble statue in a museum. On his abdomen laid a large insect tattoo, sunk deep into skin. Every line was crisp and each blended area of the ink into his skin was smooth. She couldn’t help but want to reach out and touch it, but she was fighting that urge.

Ivy had seen the tattoos at the top of his chest poking out before, but seeing them in their full glory amongst everything else was fascinating. He was a collection of designs, words, drawings, meanings.. These things were a part of him, and she was intrigued by every single one. Harry smirked to himself as he saw her hand come up, but she quickly withdrew it.

“This might be my favorite.” She pointed to the insect, her eyes glancing his way for just a second.

“You can touch me. M’all yours.” Harry carefully grabbed her wrist and started to pull her hand down. He waited for her to resist or pull away, but when she didn’t, he laid her hand over the tattoo. His hand covered hers, pressing down so she wouldn’t be afraid to actually touch him. Ivy held her breath as Harry rubbed his thumb over her skin.

“All mine, hm?” She whispered, her lips barely moving with her words.

Harry chuckled, the movement of his body made her heart flutter. “All yours, darling.”

It wasn’t long after the tattoo tour that Ivy’s stomach started to growl from hunger. She didn’t want to get out of the bed, mainly because she didn’t want to leave Harry’s side, but her stomach was fighting against her heart. She brought up the idea to make breakfast, and that was an offer Harry wasn’t going to pass up. They got out of the bed and walked to the kitchen together. While she cooked, Harry sat at the table and watched her in silence, smiling and holding back laughs as he listened to her talk to herself and get frustrated by the smallest annoyances. Being able to experience her in this kind of scenario was more magical than kissing her seemed to be. Of course he enjoyed that an immense amount - but this was different. He got to witness how she naturally behaved when she cooked and waltzed around the kitchen. She was deep in her own world as she hummed while flipping the eggs. Harry was unable to look away the entire time.

After they ate together, Harry gave her no choice but to let him clean up the mess. She wanted to help, and actually do it all herself, but he refused. He told her she’d given so much time and energy to him in such a short time that it was only right for him to do something for her. It wasn’t long after they finished the dishes that Niall called to find out where Harry had ended up last night. He was astonished to hear that Harry had crashed at her place. Niall finding that out immediately resulted in a call from Emma, who was in the car with him. He was bringing her home since she stayed the night at his place.

Ivy laughed on the phone and promised Emma she’d give her all the details when she arrived. Harry was fine with the fact that Niall and Emma would find out everything and obviously be aware of what was now going on between them. In fact, he was telling Niall the same thing - he’d find out the details later. Since he was going to catch a ride home with Niall while he had the chance, he thought it would be better to tell Ivy what was on his mind before they got here to bother them.

Harry grabbed her waist and pulled her body into his, the strength he possessed made it easy for her to fall into him. She looked up, her pretty eyes full of stars. He just knew there was no pair of eyes more beautiful than hers. He leaned down to her lips and pressed a kiss to her mouth.

“Thank you.”

She let out a light giggle. “For what?”

“For breakfast.” His mouth lifted with a smile. “And for letting me stay.. and for talking with me and forgiving me.”

Ivy pushed herself up on her tiptoes, her lips planting pecks along his chin. “You’re welcome.”

“I promise I’ll call you this time.” His wink made her stomach twirl.

“You better.”

Harry gripped her waist tight, not wanting to ever let her go. “I already miss you.”

“I think I’m gonna miss you more.” She lifted her arms to hug him.

The moment he felt her lips pressing a kiss to the spot below his ear, he regretted saying he needed to go home so early. She had plans today that she couldn’t get out of and didn’t necessarily want to change, so he was being respectful of that by giving her space. As much as he wished he could stay with her forever, she had things to do and he had a few tasks he had to get done at home, anyway. Ivy locked her arms around his neck, letting one hand slip into his hair. He hummed as she tugged at his roots, not wanting to let him slip away just yet. They stayed like that, holding each other breathing slow and steady, until Niall and Emma arrived. He wasn't sure of the exact time he’d see her again, but he knew it couldn’t be too long. He couldn’t survive another two weeks without her.

[a/n:: I am so excited that this part is finally out! I hope you enjoyed soft h :) thank u endlessly for all the positive feedback & love you’ve shown to this series! I don’t think I’ve been this proud of myself before I love writing this series. reblog, like, comment all that nice stuff if you’d like.. see u soon! Ps I was very tied when I edited this so if there’s any errors just ignore them I’ll fix it later]

taglist:

@walkingintheheartbreaksatellite

@victoriasigaard

@ariiscringe

@harlowsgirl

@lomllover

@haniaaa04

@sideboobrry11

@tenaciousperfectionunknown

@fangirl509east

@fruity-harry

@sassamanda77

@lizsogolden

@prettygurl-2009

@sincerely-yours-marsbar

@mypolicemanharryyy

@angelbunny222

@mads3502

@harrysredroom

@inlikea-coolway

@matildasatellite

@imaginexxharry

@daphnesutton

@triski73

@indierockgirrl

@panini

[c4tluver02]

glasses

wc: 1.2k

summary: While helping you study Steve has some trouble reading out the questions. But how could The Steve Harrington need glasses?

wanring: insecurities about glasses? nothin rlly :)

a/n: seeing Joe in his glasses on stage........... i had to write a little something about it ;)

It was the end of a school day and Steve had invited himself over. Not that you minded of course, you would have asked him to come over anyways. But you two were past that point and now anywhere you went Steve went. Which happened to be your house that was dead silent from your parents being gone for the week. Steve had always liked your house more than his. It was filled with stories and it was evident that a loving family lived there. Unlike his house that felt like a set up to look like a family had been there, but missing the pictures and memories to prove it. 

You were sitting crisscrossed at the end of your bed looking at Steve as he laid against your headboard. He had notes in his hands to help you study but so far you’ve only talked about your day. 

“Okay Stevie we have to actually get to studying now.” You try to make it come out with a serious tone but a smile ultimately gives you away. 

“But baby I haven’t even told you the drama between Stacy and Mikey. Y’know they were caught behind the bleachers-” 

“Steve! C'mon you promised you’d help me.” A laugh comes out with it. Steve was always one for the school gossip. Or any gossip in general, he loved being the ear people always whispered to thinking he was a locked box. However, whatever is told to him is told to you. 

You get up on your knees, moving forward to him. “You said you wouldn't be a distraction when you come over.” You say repeating his own words he had muttered earlier back to him. 

Steve can only smile at you. All pouty and close, skin soft touching his, and your nice perfume surrounding him. “Okay, okay let's start.” He says putting your pillow behind his back to sit up straight. You fix your position too, laying your legs over his lap and leaning the side of your head on the headboard. As if this new position will get you guys to truly focus. 

Steve automatically starts drawing little circles on your legs and you wait for him to ask you a question. But when Steve squints and brings the paper closer to his face you pick your head up. Can he not see it? The room is fairly well lit with a lamp on each side of your bed, but no overhead lighting. 

“Okay, um, what was… the main cause of World War I?” It comes out as a question. As if he didn’t exactly know what he was reading. His eyes are still squinted as he pulls the paper further away hoping the letters become clear. 

You grab the note card from his hands wondering if the question on the paper was faded or hard to see. When you read it, you notice nothing wrong with it despite the small letters. 

“Steve?” You ask in a calm tone, not understanding why he can’t see it.

“Why is the font so small? How can anyone read that?” Steve puts his hands behind his head, ready to hear you agree with him. 

“Baby I can read this just fine. Do you want me to turn the big light on? Maybe it’s too dark in here?” You say the sentence as you get up, ready to turn the light on but Steve grabs the notecard back from you giving it another look.

“Honey there's no way, it's so blurry there must have been a problem with the ink when it was printed.” Even when you turn the overhead light on, Steve is still squinting at it. 

You go back to the bed and sit on the edge right next to Steve. “Stevie, have you ever thought about glasses?” The way you say it so softly makes Steve almost miss the horrible question you asked. 

“I don’t need glasses, I can see just fine. Here, put your hand up.” Steve puts your wrist in the air. “Now show me a number.” You follow his request sticking up two fingers. “That's two. See? I can see just fine that card was just bad. Can you hand me a new one?” 

You know that it’s not a fair test to see if Steve does have bad eyesight but you decided to go along with it. The idea of wearing glasses isn’t something Steve wants to think about and you become aware of it from the way he quickly defended himself. You hand him a new card, hoping that this time he will admit defeat. 

When he has the card he tries to read it in his head before saying it out loud. The letters are mushing together and become seemingly blurry. Steve isn’t a reader by any means but how come he's having such a hard time reading these? 

“I swear these letters are too small. I think we should write them out, that might even be a good study tool.” He says, raising his eyebrows at his new idea. 

The test isn’t for another two days and you decide to put a stop to it. Steve can be pretty stubborn sometimes and if you know him like you think you know him he won’t say he needs glasses till he can’t see you correctly.

“Yeah you're right. I'll just make new cards tomorrow and study those.” Grabbing the card from Steve's hand you put them back in your bag. There are a few beats of silence. 

“Do you really think I need glasses?” Steve asks. It comes out in a whisper, if there was any other noise in the house you probably wouldn’t have heard him. 

“I mean it wouldn’t hurt to get an eye exam.” You sit back by him threading your hand through his hair. “Getting glasses also wouldn’t be the end of the world love.” 

Steve lays his head on your shoulder. “You would still like me even with glasses?” The question instantly makes you giggle. 

“I would like you no matter what you do Steve. And I think you would look really hot with glasses.” You continue scratching his head. 

This makes Steve perk his head up immediately. “You think I would look hot with glasses?” He doesn’t believe what you're saying is true, it's written all over his face. “You told me last week if I shaved my head you would have a breakdown.” 

“I said I would have a breakdown, not that I would break up with you!” You're giggling and a smile is placed on his face at your comment knowing you're being sarcastic. 

“If you really think I would look good with glasses, I guess I could make an appointment.” Now his comment is making you smile. You give him quick kisses all over his face and he lets out a loud laugh. 

“I can come with you if you want? Help you pick out some frames.” Your hands are holding his face as you put a pause on the kisses. 

“Yeah, that would be nice. Thank you baby.” He leans in to give you a proper kiss, this one deep and meaningful. As if to say ‘thank you for caring about me’. How Steve got so lucky with you he’ll never know.

[summerchlds]

I KNOW YOU

Neil Perry x gn! reader

Synopsis: In which you and Neil end up in a vintage photobooth.

An: Hello!! This is my first post on this account so I apologize if this sounds like shit😭 Also!! English is not my first language and I’ve never stepped foot into a Photo Booth so if I wrote something wrong then that’s on me🫡🫡

💌

When you two entered through the curtain and into the booth, You found it to be particularly small, barely big enough for the two of you to fit inside. It was kind of dark, the walls were maroon colored and the only thing there was in there was a built-in camera in the wall and a bench to sit down on so it was kind of empty (besides the scribbles and notes people had written down on the walls that the owners were too lazy to remove). You’ve both never seen or been in a Photo Booth before, not having a single clue on how it exactly worked, fearing that you’d accidentally break something.

“It’s quite cramped in here, isn’t it?” He teased softly, being fully aware of the amount of space you two had. You nodded, breathing out a faint ‘yeah’ under your breath. You tried to make yourself sit comfortably, but it was kind of hard when the side of your body was stuck glued beside his as your other half was against the wall.

Neil leaned down slightly.

“Are you comfortable?” He asked softly, his voice husky as he looked you up and down with a small smile. You once again nodded, not wanting to burden him. It was fine. Afterall, you couldn’t do anything about it. Neil turned his head back to the camera, looking clueless.

“Does it even work?” Neil asked as his brows furrowed.

“I hope so.” You responded, feeling hopeful. There was a button sticking out underneath the camera lens.

“I think this button starts the camera and countdown.” He said, unsure.

Neil reached slightly up to press it, unsure if it was the right thing to do. Thankfully, the lightbulb that hung above us, slowly lit up, triggering the timer countdown for the first picture. As the countdown went, You both realized that you had to act fast if you wanted the pictures to turn out good. You had no idea how many seconds you were given, could’ve been ten seconds or thirty if this machine was nice enough.

“What should we do?” You asked, a little panicky.

“Just smile!” He said quickly, leaning back a little against the wall. You took this opportunity to lean a little closer to the camera as you smiled nervously. You didn’t have that many high hopes for the first picture, just wanting the first picture to show you two smiling as a start. You posed awkwardly for a few seconds before the camera’s flash unexpectedly came on.

The bright flash blinded both of you, causing Neil and you to let out a small groan of discomfort as you both rubbed your eyes. Neil leaned back up beside you as he tried to blink away the spots in his vision, adjusting to the sudden change of light.

Now it was time to think of a new pose to do. Without thinking, you shifted yourself to lean your head towards him as you, again, smiled at the camera. You weren’t expecting for him to do the same though, but he did. Your heads linked together as you both smiled sweetly and the camera clicked once again.

You two pulled apart, feeling the warmthness of his cheek leave yours as you tried to figure out what pose you were going to do next. Neil seemed to have no problem with this whole thing, just freestyling everything. Maybe it was because you knew he would look good in any pose he chose to do.

You suggested to him that you two could make funny faces, just to humorize the photos. He didn’t say anything, let alone move as you got into your position, scrunching up your nose as you smiled mischievously. You awkwardly waited for the photo to be taken as you watched Neil from your peripheral vision. He turned his head towards you and just stayed there, watching you. His gaze seemed to burn a path through you.

You wanted to turn your head to face him but you’d have to wait until the picture would get taken.

When the flash finally covered the whole booth for just a split second before disappearing again, the light above you dimmed, signaling for you two to exit the booth, but you didn't, you stayed there as if you were expecting something more to happen. You turned your head immediately to see what was the problem. You were planning to ask him ‘why didn’t you pose?’ or ‘is there something on my face?’ but when you turned to him, you realized how close your faces were. And suddenly, your mind became blank. He stared down at you with a feeling of undeniable adoration in his brown eyes as he watched you almost hungrily. There was a tender, fond adoration flickering in his eyes, the way it often did in private moments like this. The warmth and affection in his expression made you feel vulnerable and cherized at the same time. His eyes seemed to take in every little detail, capturing it and piercing it into his mind, afraid to lose the memory of how you looked like, in case you two would in the future pull apart and never see each other again. His expression was soft and full of warmth, as if he found every little thing about you utterly mesmerizing.

“What?” You muttered quietly, already feeling yourself getting lost in his eyes. Oh how you could stare into them for hours on end.

“What?” Neil asked in return, his voice low and warm, tinged with a hint of amusement. In the midst of darkness, you could see a speck of light reflecting on his eyes from outside the curtain where the streetlight resided. You felt his breath from his open mouth hit your face as it made you realize how close your faces have gotten.

“May I kiss you?” He softly whispered against your lips, glancing down at them for a split second before returning his gaze up at you.

You opened your mouth, again and again to try and get something out but your voice had given up on you so you just nodded eagerly instead. He leaned down and closed his eyes, pressing his lips gently against yours. His hand travelled to your face, placing it on the back of your head to deepen the kiss. You reciprocated and held his cheek, your thumb grazing his sharp cheekbone. The kiss was short but sweet, only lasting a couple of seconds before he pulled away, exhaling ever so slightly as he looked breathlessly at you. You couldn’t help but let out a cheeky grin that spread over your red face, which caused Neil to laugh at you.

⋆⭒˚.⋆

You walked out of the booth as you watched Neil pick up the pictures that were printed out and examined them. He had a cheeky smile on his face as he looked down on them, making you curious.

“Let me see.” You said and he handed you the strip. Without saying anything, you took it from him and looked at it closely. There were four black & white photos of you two stacked on top of each other, doing various poses for each one. The first photo though, caught your eye. It looked fine at first, you saw yourself smiling and narrowed your eyes to Neil.

His mouth was pulled into a wide smile which showed off his gleaming teeth and dimples. He looked adorable. Though unbeknownst to you, you saw his hand positioned behind your head, creating a bunny ears gesture, making you look like a fool.

When you realized this, you playfully hit his arm as a form of payback. He pulled up his hand to caress the spot where you hit him at, pretending to look hurt as he couldn’t help holding in his laugh.

“I just couldn’t help myself, I had to!” He said between laughs.

You didn’t want to give in but eventually did, giggling along with him.

Besides, you knew you were going to keep these photos in your dorm as a memory, even if they didn’t turn out perfect, they were special.

(After all, no one but you and Neil would fully know what happened after the fourth photo was taken.)

[crypticcanidae]

what's happening in the south of thedas?

throughout veilguard the inquisitor occasionally sends us messages from the front. they paint a pretty bleak picture as to what's going on down there and honestly, by the time vg ends, i think it's safe to say southern thedas is absolutely fucked. like irreparably so.

but! several times now i've seen the argument that it's not as bad as it sounds, that everyone down south will recover and be fine, and that anyone even slightly upset abt southern thedas being destroyed in a series of easily-missable notes is just overreacting. (that's probably a little bit of an exaggeration. but not by much.)

so. maybe i read those letters wrong and missed some obvious improvement to the situation! therefore, i've gone through all the missives and done my best to put the events in them onto a map. cause i'm very bad at visualising things. and it turns out uh. yeah no i'm pretty sure it's as bad as it seems down there. maybe even worse! i've also ended up with. yknow. even more questions tbh. i hope these fucking maps are readable. !! beware long post ahead !!

the fight for the south (obtained after meeting the inquisitor for the first time)

ostwick's shipping - what do they export? to where? whatever it is, the disruption's obviously enough for the inquisitor to notice and mention. (also, isn't a trevelyan inquisitor from ostwick? i suppose they don't say anything more about this?)

the antaam corsairs - are they harassing any other ships? have they cut the waking sea off from the amaranthine ocean entirely?

venatori-aligned nobles - which nobles, and where? are they spread across the country? do they have noticeable regional strongholds? more importantly, why have they allied with the venatori? what are they getting out of working with a fringe tevinter cult that was mostly dismantled ten years ago?

'far southern wilds' - is that just the korcari wilds in ferelden? or are the arbor wilds in orlais also seeing blight appear? (the blight consuming orlais later has to come from somewhere, after all)

the fall of weisshaupt (obtained after. well.)

'wherever darkspawn once had a presence' - every place that's had darkspawn? all of them? cause thats. most of thedas? including several regions we visit in vg, but i don't remember hearing anything abt darkspawn appearing in the silent plains, which you'd think might come up in the graveyard of nevarra's capital city. at the very least, this might explain why the south's hit so hard despite lusacan and razikale being on the other side of the continent, i guess? anyway i marked what i think are the the three largest, worst blighted spots, and i left my blight notes on the map too for lack of a better place to put them. you can see how many places might now be getting swarmed.

^^ - if i'm right and darkspawn are appearing everywhere they've been before. well. this could have been a fun way to incorporate worldstate choices? if the inquisition allied with the wardens orlais has warning of a horde emerging in the western approach, if the wardens were banished orlais suffers heavier casualties from having to fight unexpected darkspawn on top of the venatori. something like that.

'reports of darkspawn advancing to its very gates' - advancing to weisshaupt's gates? the fortress we just lost to the darkspawn? this sounds like the inquisitor's getting reports that weisshaupt's just under siege, not overrun entirely and abandoned?

'erasing all the gains that the wardens and dwarves had made' - the darkspawn getting to weisshaupt is erasing dwarf-warden gains on the surface, in the anderfels? or do they mean progress reclaiming the deep roads has been lost? because weisshaupt's gates are on the surface, and haven't had to be retaken before now (weisshaupt has been sieged by darkspawn before during blights, but it's never fallen entirely). unless they're meaning that darkspawn numbers in the roads during the siege were so high they've overrun dwarf-warden positions? or the loss of wardens assisting the dwarves and recalled to weisshaupt was that damaging?

'called them all back to weisshaupt' - once again. worldstates. past events. what happened to that warden civil war that was brewing in inquisition? what happened to the orlesian wardens possibly breaking off from weisshaupt entirely? what about the wardens in amaranthine, possibly allied with the architect, possibly working with avernus to research the blight? all of them got orders to up and head to weisshaupt, and they all obeyed, despite the internal conflicts we've been hearing whispers of for the past few games?

the tide turns (obtained after fighting the dragons in hossberg)

the felicisima armada - nice to see the armada mentioned, obviously, but it might have been even better if we got to actually learn anything new about it. instead of the half-baked beach and arena we could have had a hub in llomerryn/estwatch, experienced some of what makes rivain so distinct from the rest of thedas. we could have seen isabela acting as an admiral of the armada, maybe had some quests that lead to the armada harassing the antaam. yknow, gotten to be involved in the interesting things happening in the world, instead of hearing about them after they've already happened. (mostly i just. really don't understand where the lords of fortune came from in the first place? a rivain-based pirate faction already exists? it seems like isabela's a leader in both groups? what's going on here?)

the venatori - did the inquisition just do a really bad job ten years ago? i was under the impression the venatori as a group were finished, that they'd failed their plans, lost their god, and splintered apart. hadn't tevinter even publically denounced them? i know that doesn't mean much really, but yknow. after inquisition it sure seemed like whatever group succeeded the venatori would be starting pretty much from scratch, or having to use a new name, at least. but they're not only openly back in power in tevinter, they've got the resources to stoke conflicts across the continent? yet again. worldstates. thedosian politics. what happened in the past decade??

val royeaux to kirkwall - so the venatori are marching forces across nevarran territory into the free marches, these forces presumably including some amount of orlesian soldiers? i know kirkwall/the free marches are apparantly busy right now (getting blighted?) but as far as i can tell. nevarra doesn't really have anything going on? but they're just letting hostile orlesian forces cross their borders to attack the marches? i would have thought that would provoke some sort of response, given that nevarra (and parts of the marches) have been invaded by and fought wars against the orlesian empire several times?

the coming storm (obtained after speaking to the inquisitor again)

'little trace remains of the antaam dreadnoughts' - i'm assuming the antivan resistance has picked up enough momentum for the antaam to struggle to maintain control by now, and that combined with the efforts of the armada has lead them to pull their fleet back somewhat to keep from overstretching their forces. but i do like the idea that the antaam, competent trained soldiers, were beaten and driven off by a pack of pirates.

the drums of war (obtained after discussing how to attack tearstone island)

'the free marches have unified' - i know extraordinary circumstances can force things like this to happen but also. we know the free marches are divided enough that city-states will make alliances just to spite their neighbours. we know blights don't really bring people together without effort. i would love to know what sort of political manoeuvring has been going on for the entirety of the marches to unite to assist ferelden - or just the inquisitor? if the inquisition disbanded, why does the inquisitor still seem to have so much influence? also. the marches are doing this when they're in the middle of conflicts? hasn't kirkwall been entirely evacuated to starkhaven now?

blight in ferelden - putting those words onto a map makes them look way worse, doesn't it? the darkspawn now have redcliffe, much of southern ferelden, and most of denerim (if not all, by now), they'll spread the blight everywhere they go, and the blight itself has reached lake calenhad. as a reminder, this letter in da2 tells us the land around lothering is poisoned so badly by the blight it'll take decades to recover, if ever, after only a year. other places still haven't recovered after centuries. vg's blight might be changed in some way, but it doesn't seem to be any weaker, and only the blight in minrathous is destroyed at the end. assuming vg only takes a couple of months, it ends with ferelden blighted even worse than after the fifth blight.

the beginning of the end (obtained after escaping the regret prison)

blight in ferelden - (continued from above) by now, ferelden's certainly lost the korcari wilds, brecilian forest, hinterlands, and a decent chunk of the bannorn to the blight, as well as possibly all of lake calenhad and its shores, depending on how blight spreads in water. that's the majority of the country's settlements, farmland, and natural resources uninhabitable, unusable, or obliterated - again, the blight poisons the land, it takes decades to centuries for anything to grow there again. on the bright side, the tiny amount of unblighted land left in the bannorn will probably be enough to support the surviving population, since the refugees were few enough to fit into skyhold. from veilguard on, ferelden is likely reduced to amaranthine, highever, west hill, the northern edge of the bannorn, whatever region runs above lake calenhad, the island of brandel's reach, and the islands home to jainen and alamar. the new ferelden capital would probably be highever or amaranthine, possibly amaranthine given the arling's run by the wardens, and they'll likely become far more influential now that ferelden's blighted nearly as badly as the anderfels. at least they got to keep the circle in jainen!

blight in orlais and the free marches - it would make sense to me if the blight here has spread out from the wastelands of the western approach and the silent plains. honestly i might have overestimated how much land's been consumed? but equally we're told the blight's moving fast so. maybe i'm underestimating. who knows. regardless, orlais has probably lost it's southern regions, as well as a large part of the heart of the country. like ferelden, it looks like a lot of what's probably farmland has been blighted, as well as several major cities. that combined with the venatori-supported civil war they've been fighting this whole time means orlais is. possibly in a worse state than even ferelden! i don't know how they'll recover honestly. maybe orlais will fracture into a dozen smaller states, maybe they'll somehow have enough military strength left to attempt to expand and claim nevarra's unblighted land. either way, they're probably not a major power anymore. also, the dales are probably blighted too, though maybe not entirely? which is unfortunate for the dalish, assuming they haven't been completely absorbed by the veil jumpers and given up on the dales for arlathan. for the free marches, again assuming the blight's spread from the silent plains, kirkwall, wildervale, starkhaven, and tantervale are most likely to have been hit, if not lost entirely. the eastern city-states are likely alright. also. a lot of nevarra's probably been blighted? most of it, even. including the capital. and grand necropolis. cumberland might be fine though.

blight in tevinter? - we aren't told anything about what the blight and darkspawn are doing in tevinter, i think? aside from minrathous being miraculously cured so it can become the center of civilisation in the future, obviously. we're bringing back the pre-andrastian empire! anyway. the silent plains would be the main threat here, and if the blight spread up to the nocen sea it could split the imperium in two, which could be fun i think. and the blight from the anderfels could affect the western border somewhat too.

orzammar - yet again, worldstates could have had an impact here, affected whether orzammar has alliances that could help it hold out or not, things like that. but honestly, considering everything else that's been going on, it seems safe to assume orzammar's been entirely wiped out. kal-sharok might be the last surviving population of underground dwarves, aside from the ambassadoria in tevinter. who might now have lost their home entirely.

blighted leviathans - *blackwall voice* i would have liked to have seen it. but yeah once more the cool things are all happening in the background. seems like we could have run into these in a felicisima armada questline, or possibly with the wardens if the ten year old griffons were adults instead of hatchlings still. i don't even know what to say here honestly. this makes recovery even harder now, i suppose. orlais and nevarra have lost sea access, ferelden and the southern marcher city-states might struggle depending on how far the leviathans spread towards the amaranthine ocean. fishing might be a little difficult now too.

conclusion

rivain and antiva seem to have come out largely unscathed by the blight, and we know from rivain that andrastianism, the qun, mages, and spirits aren't entirely incompatible, so there's a real chance for things to improve there. the eastern free marches are probably fairly stable, all things considered. tevinter and the qun might be forced into peace, however temporary, given that the antaam's been decimated and the imperium's apparently going to be doing some restructuring. ferelden and orlais have effectively suffered an apocalypse. nevarra and the western free marches are likely only doing slightly better. the anderfels are. probably largely unchanged, tbh. very cheerful! what's happening in the south? nothing good!

as i've seen some others say, i don't inherently dislike the idea of the south, the places we're most attached to, suffering some catastrophe in service of underlining how high the stakes are. my problem is the way it's executed. all these events were thrown together into a handful of codex entries that were very easy to miss entirely. there was no attempt to work with the very different worldstates people could have, despite marketing reassuring us that our past choices would be respected. it felt like an afterthought added into the game to try and cheaply increase the emotional impact of a somewhat lacklustre story. many of the things people felt were missing from veilguard - the politics and intrigue, the relations between nations and peoples, etc - aren't missing at all, it turns out. they've simply been relegated to the background. we can see where they might be happening, guess at how our protagonist could have been involved, but we aren't allowed to actually participate anymore. and i think that's unfortunate for a series that used to be so determined to think about those things, even if it didn't always handle them very well.

[marshiethemoonie]

i keep thinking about Nakamigawa’s situation and it’s just. sad, somewhat analysis under the bar:

imagine genuinely wanting to redeem yourself in the eyes of everyone around you for a very stupid and selfish decision that you pulled during a trial, and everyone seems fine but then, all of the sudden, the drug that you have been staving off for almost 15 days somehow randomly appears in your dorm, snd youre trying, YOURE REALLY trying to stave it off because you don’t want to try to go back into old habits.

until a death threat causes tension around you, and the one that receives the death threat blamed you the most, that girl does not forgive you at all like you thought, and youre left standing there as she rattled off why you shouldn’t be forgiven and why she wholeheartedly thinks that yoire behind the death threat even though you have NEVER SEEN IT.

any sort of advice is left null, even if you do somewhat take it, as you are stalked, and even if you try to offer her any sort of proof that you are not the one who wrote the note, your proof is taken as a trap.

you cannot take any sort of reprieve, you cannot be trusted, plus, you start to become sick, so, in an act of stress and anger, you relapse into your addiction.

the yelling is getting more and more frequent, annoying even, you are starting to be at the end of your rope, and everything is starting to hopeless, even with some people trying to comfort and help you, the accusations and the reality of the game is starting to become real.

and yet, you try. you really do.

but you are tired. exhausted.

you were forcibly outed to everyone, and even try one last time to exonerate yourself, to let the girl understand that yes, you have done shitty things, yes, you know people will not forgive you for it, and yes, it is shitty, you know you’re shitty, you even lay out the whole story in front of her and yet.

yet she still thinks that you’re the baddest person ever, she thinks that you should just kill yourself, after you had tried to days ago.

and you snap.

there’s no hope, or reason, because the negatives outweighs the positives, people will change and youre just. done. you don’t care anymore.

TLDR: While i’m not trying to make out Hiroaki to be the good guy in the situation, as how he handles his situations and emotions are NOT good, and so is Tamba’s. it’s good to acknowledge that. Hiroaki is gone through a lot, and so is Tamba (Being received a death threat, wanting to try and capture the writer without anyone’s help, mostly to prove herself, even if she is impulsive), because at the end of the day, everyone has been through a lot, so of course people are willing to do bad things under severe amounts of stress and pressure. and i wanted people to hust. take it how much the students, and especially Hiroaki, considering how hes right now getting the worse of it (but that can be said to Mai. and maybe the whole entire students), is going through.

No one is black and white morally in this series, people have done bad things, and people have done good things, people call oit others while having a bad reputation of their own, and while yes, some people have done worse things than other lighter worse things, that doesn’t give anyone an excuse to pick a side or celebrate or whatever.

At the end of the day, everyone has been and will possibly be under more tension and division.

And with the final chapter possibly wrapping up.

I’m more scared that this will have a bad ending.

[isa-beenme]

Hello!! Do you think you could right a sort of enemies to lovers relationship with Azriel? Maybe where he and the reader get into a heated argument, and the bond snaps when the tension hits its peak? If this doesn’t inspire you, please don’t feel as though you have to accept my request! This is my first attempt at making a request, so I apologize if I did it incorrectly. Also, I wanted to note that your writing style is one of my favorites, and I hope you are proud of your work! That’s all, thank you for your time!!

THE SOOOOOOOOOONG

Listen to it please thank you

Loved your request, darling, it's actually much better when you send the whole story, I usually struggle when I try to think of a whole story alone (I swear I'm creative but it's hard to get things in your head out of nothing)

I try to be proud of my work as much as I can, thank you so much 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

THIS WORK was sooooooo fun to do, I swear at some moment while I was writing this I laughed at my own story, super cool

I thought: "I'm gonna make this super serious" amd ended up with this, which is much better

This Is Love

Your family always meant everything to you. Being Rhysand's cousin meant you would be inserted in everything he did. Being his second in command meant you would be involved in every plan. And being all of that meant you would be part of his Inner Circle, which automatically involved you in everything they did together. From training, to family dinner and trips around the Courts for the meetings, you did all together. And you loved it. Again, your family meant everything to you, and spending time with them was on your top list of favorite things to do. I mean, when a certain Shadowsinger wasn't completely involved.

Working with Azriel was always fine, perfectly fine, actually. Rhysand often paired you up together to work because everything fell into place with the two of you. Your mind always seemed to think like one. But that teamwork only made itself present when the topic was your position towards the court and your job. Outside that, you both were a mess. Training with him was a dread, from him pinpointing each - non-existent - mistake, to you lashing yourself on him each time he made you angry, it's been more than 250 years of both of you trying to win one another in the training. It never happened.

Family dinner was also horrible since both of you had very different visions in every single topic someone started, not just that, somehow, no matter how many times you and Azriel changed seats with someone, it doesn't take a week until you find yourselves seated next to each other again. On top of that, you and he possess the ability to winnow, yet, Rhysand always thought it was necessary for you to winnow together. No matter how many times you said it wasn't necessary, Rhys only ignored you, the necessity of traveling with him making you hate your life just a little bit more.

But if spending time with your family was on your top favorite things to do, game night with Azriel was on your top things to make yourself miserable. It was a common scene for the rest of the Inner Circle to see you and him screaming at each other at some point. Sometimes one of you thought the other was cheating. Sometimes you started saying the other was winning too many times and should be taken out of the game. Sometimes it was the complete opposite, "if you lose so much, maybe you should step back and stop occupying space". Tonight it wasn't different, your favorite fight was ready to start as Azriel explained the rules to the new game.

Besides the usual crackling tension between you and Azriel, this night seemed to be at its worst peak. For weeks now, both of you seemed to be on the edge with one another, even in work, your usual camaraderie was replaced with sharp remarks and piercing glares. Everyone around the table exchanged puzzled looks, uncertain of what exactly had caused this escalating feud.

Azriel couldn't understand why every word from you grated on his nerves, nor could you fathom why Azriel's mere presence felt suffocating. The build-up of unresolved emotions and unspoken desires had been simmering for days, and now, it was about to reach its boiling point.

The Night Court's game night had started off innocently enough with your usual truth or drink game, something to light up tension (or build it, in your and Azriel's case), but as the evening wore on, the tension between you and Azriel became palpable as the Shadowsinger tried to introduce a new idea to the table. It began with a harmless disagreement over the rules of a card game, but it quickly escalated into a heated argument once the match started.

Azriel's patience was wearing thin as you challenged every decision he made during the game, the cards he dropped and the ones he chose, everything seemed horrible in your eyes. The other way around too, your matches weren't valid, you couldn't pick certain cards and no, it wasn't your turn yet. His usually calm demeanor was now strained, and he couldn't help but feel irritated by your persistent need to question him.

-I don't understand why you always have to question everything I do - Azriel snapped at some point, his shadows flickering around him as a testament to his growing frustration.

-Maybe if you didn't act like you knew everything, I wouldn't have to. "Boo, I'm Azriel and I don't let people play the game because I invented it and none of you understand how to play it" - You quickly shot back, their voice laced with sarcasm

The room fell silent, and your friends exchanged uneasy glances, sensing the mounting tension between the two of you. But there was no going back now; the floodgates had opened, and all the pent-up emotions were rushing to the surface.

-I don't act like I know everything, and I don't talk like that - Azriel retorted, his voice tight with anger - I just wish you'd stop acting like you have all the answers! Sometimes it is okay to listen to help because, guess what? I indeed invented the game and there's no way of you learning how to play it, if you don't listen to the rules!

-Well, forgive me for not blindly following you like everyone else. I'm not afraid to question things when they don't make sense! - Your eyes narrowed, jaw clenching as you shot back.

-And I'm not afraid to take action instead of endlessly debating every damn decision! - Azriel's temper flared, his wings twitching in agitation.

-I think what you're really good at is fucking my life! - Your family gasped at your words, shocked by the intensity.

-It's just a payback for every headache you give me every time you breathe near me - They quickly turned their heads to Azriel, equally shocked by his response.

The words hung in the air, and for a moment, it seemed as if you were both about to explode. Your family exchanged worried glances, unsure of how to intervene in the escalating argument. But just as the situation reached its breaking point, a strange shift occurred. As Azriel locked eyes with you, an unexpected intensity replaced your anger. It was as if the universe itself had decided to step in, forcing you to confront the undeniable truth.

The room seemed to blur around you as you stood there, chests heaving from the heated exchange. The fight had reached its peak, and in that very moment, the mating bond snapped into place. The sudden connection was overwhelming, a rush of emotions and sensations that neither of you could comprehend. Your anger dissolved into confusion and shock as you felt an unexplainable pull towards each other.

Azriel's wings, once tense and defensive, now softened, as if beckoning every step you unknowingly took closer. Your guard came down as well, replaced by a mix of vulnerability and curiosity.

Your friends watched in astonishment as two adversaries stood there, seemingly lost in a world of their own. The room is filled with a charged silence, the kind that accompanies a revelation that changes everything. Even if none of them knew exactly what revelation was going on at that moment.

But as the realization set in, Rhysand and Feyre exchanged knowing smiles. It was no secret for them that you and Azriel had an underlying connection, a bond waiting to be acknowledged. They had witnessed the chemistry and unspoken feelings simmering between the two of you, and now, it seemed the universe had decided to intervene.

Your eyes met Azriel's once again, and this time, there was no irritation or hostility. Instead, there was an undeniable spark of understanding and attraction, a recognition of the emotions that you had been hiding from each other. Neither of you spoke a word, yet you communicated on a deeper level, the mating bond solidifying your connection at each passing second. It was as if all the walls you had built around your heart came crashing down, leaving you exposed and vulnerable to him.

As the reality of the mating bond settled in, your heart raced with confusion and fear. You couldn't understand why fate would choose someone you had built such animosity towards to be your mate. Feeling overwhelmed and unable to face the truth, you turned around and ran, needing time and space to process the whirlwind of emotions inside you.

Azriel, though taken aback and hurt by the sudden rejection, couldn't ignore the pull of the bond drawing him to you. With determination, he chased after your steps, his heart heavy with worry and longing. He caught up to you as you were getting closer to your room. Gently reaching out to touch your shoulder, you recoiled as if his touch burned.

-Please, let's talk - Azriel pleaded, his voice tinged with sadness - I never wanted to hurt you. The fights... They were a defense mechanism, a way to hide my own feelings and protect myself from the pain of loving someone who seemed to hate me. You started this, I just… Thought I should defend myself.

-But why you? Why did it have to be you? - You whispered, voice breaking with emotion. Azriel's eyes softened, and he took a step closer, his hand hovering near your face, yearning for the connection you both feared and desired.

-I wish I had an answer for that. All I know is that the bond doesn't choose who we love, it just binds us to our other half. And for some inexplicable reason, it chose us - He could see the pain in your eyes and knew that he needed to be honest, to show vulnerability despite his fears of rejection - The truth is, the more you fought me, the more I fell for you. Your fire, your strength, everything about you drew me in. But I was terrified of what it meant, so I pushed you away.

-I didn't know what to do with my feelings either - You admitted, opening a place in your heart that you swear to never look at again - I tried to convince myself that I hated you, but it only made things worse. Every fight, every argument, it was just a way to hide how much I… I wanted to be by your side. Everything was simple with them but you? You made me feel things and I didn't want it - Azriel's heart ached at your words, and he took a step closer, finally touching your cheek gently.

-We can figure this out together. I don't want to fight anymore. I want to be here for you, to understand you, and for you to understand me - Tears finally spilled from your eyes, as you looked into Azriel's soulful gaze, feeling the sincerity of his words.

-It won't be easy, but maybe we can try - You gave in, hugging him tightly, filling the void in your soul that you ignored for so long.

You and Azriel knew that you had a journey ahead, to step down from the fights and finally accept the truth that maybe, just maybe, you both were meant to be. Even in disagreement you found a way to each other. Although you would definitely keep your provocations going and Azriel would stay at your feet for anything you did, that was your way of loving and for the first time you were fine knowing what tomorrow would bring.

------------------------------

[Post-Credit Scene]

The Inner Circle sat around the table, looking perplexed and bewildered after the explosive game night that had just taken place. None of them could quite wrap their heads around what had unfolded. Nestha glanced at Cassjan, who raised an eyebrow, silently communicating his own confusion. Feyre and Rhysand seemed to be the only ones who understood the situation, but none of them made a move to say something as they kept talking to each other in their minds.

-So, did anyone understand what just happened? I mean, they are usually weird around each other but… This weird? It's worrying - The general scratched his head and finally gathered the courage to say something.

-Beats me. The brute is right. But I have to admit, seeing them argue like that is always quite entertaining. It's the only reason I've been coming for the past centuries, honestly - Amren replied with a snarl, eyes rolling as she threw her cards on the table.

-Oh, for sure! It was like watching a drama unfold right in front of us every week. But I can't believe they just bolted like that. Do you think they're okay? - Mor inquired, a mix of amusement and worry kicking in.

-If I had to bet I would say they are killing each other - Cassian said, playing with the deck of cards.

-Or fucking - Nestha chimed in with a laugh - I mean, when I didn't accept the mating bond with Cassian I acted exactly like them. If you don't understand the feeling you might as well hurt the person you hold those feelings for - Everyone seemed to agree as the bets started to grow around the table.

-Knowing those two, they probably needed some time alone to sort things out. Maybe it's an understanding finally kicking in - Rhysand leaned back in his chair, his eyes twinkling with mischief - The group exchanged curious glances, trying to understand their High Lord.

-Well, whatever it is, we can't say it was unimportant. That was probably the most explosive family game night we've ever had - Feyre couldn't help but add with a grin.

Just then, the door to the game room creaked open, and you walked in with Azriel by your side, hand in hand, with smiles on your faces. The Inner Circle's jaws dropped in disbelief as they took in the sight in front of them.

-What the...? How did you...? What? - Cassian sputtered, at a loss for words.

-You know, it's funny how things work out sometimes - Azriel looked around at their stunned faces and chuckled.

-Yeah, we had a little heart-to-heart and sorted some things out. Turns out, we had a lot of misunderstandings to clear up - You and Azriel smiled at each other, making the whole Inner Circle shocked.

-So, you two aren't going to be at each other's throats anymore? - Amren raised an eyebrow, a sly grin forming.

-Oh, we definitely will - You said when you looked back at them, your head finding its way to Azriel's shoulder.

-Just not today - He said and kissed you head, hearing some gasps from the table.

-Are we witnessing a truce? - Mor whispered to the General, who just shuddered, as confused as her.

-Let's just say we have a newfound understanding of each other - Azriel replied, you and him sharing a knowing look.

-Well, that's a relief! We were starting to wonder if you two were going to start a war right here in the Night Court - Feyre laughed, reaching out for her mate's hand.

-Glad to see you've made up. Just... maybe tone it down during future game nights? - Rhysand smiled after clearly speaking mind to mind with the Shadowsinger.

-Okay, so… the rules of the game? - Nestha questioned, her cards still secured in her hands.

-It doesn't matter right now, you can choose it - Az said, making everyone turn their eyes to him. Shock covered every face in the room. Never, in their lives, do they think Azriel would give up on something. They turned their eyes to you, expecting some remark.

-Yeah, you guys can keep going - A wave of gasps and terrorized looks were exchanged between your family - I think Az might be hungry, aren't you?

-I might be. Will you make me something? - He asked, getting so close to you that your noses almost touched.

-It will be my pleasure - You said before dragging him towards the kitchen, not even noticing the mouths of the Inner Circle opened.

-Uh uh, no. I prefer the war. Tell them to come back and fight again, I don't like the way things worked - Mor leaned back in her chair, disbelief covering her posture.

-You know what? I think this interaction was more scary than the Cauldron - Amren said, finally giving up her cards as she threw them on the table.

-Come on, it can't be that bad, right? - All of the older members looked at Nestha with scared faces, even Rhysand, who knew exactly what happened between the two of you - Okay, apparently it is.

-What do we do now? - Feyre finally asked after silence filled the room.

-We hope that this Court doesn't crumble down - That was all that Rhysand said as he began separating the cards again, a whole new game starting that night.

[unstableverse-headcanons]

Hii sorry if I’m being annoying with all my asks my mind is just. Working overtime with Parrot’s newest video and I need to pour out my word vomit somewhere.

The fact that Nufuli was SO quick to rush to Parrot’s room when he pressed the emergency signal has me writhing on the floor. Like I know that the whole point of it is to like, send a distress call, but I like to imagine Nufuli being on the other side of the base and sprinting over to Parrot’s room because Derapchu, Jumper and Leo have went on like. A mission or smt and he got stuck with babysitting duty. Like idk why it’s just so sksjsksjsj. I hope that the distress call is going to play a role later in the season cause it’s so. Idk how to explain it. It’s like with the beacons except this time, someone actually came and helped him??? UU! Parrot’s probably feeling so lonely having to grieve over Wifies and Dean all by himself, being too scared of letting anyone else in because everytime he lets someone in and doesn’t cut them out they leave him. And I like to believe that this is the reason he kept pushing everyone away, even in s1 pre-Wifies and Dean’s deaths. He’s so scared, so terrified of getting hurt that he’s decided to lock himself in this little sphere and push anyone who tries to come in out and there’s just. Leo and his team sneaking past the barriers since s1 and he’s SO BUSY PUSHING PEOPLE AWAY he doesn’t even. notice them until Leo sneaks up on him lol. Their dynamic is so interesting I need someone to give them a duo name (<——— is horrible at coming up with duo names). I n e e d more ParrotX2 & Leow0ok content like. Words can not explain how obsessed I am with their dynamic they’re so fucking. (Distant screaming)

On another note! I hope that at some point during s2 there’s a confrontation between Parrot, Jumper and Woogie and maybe even Parrot and the rest of district 13. Grief is a tricky thing but it feels like Parrot’s currently either in the stage of pain and guilt or the stage of acceptance but it seems more like pain and guilt and. As the season progresses I would love to see more of Parrot’s grief because he’s actual lost so much like how does bro keep on going 😭😭😭 Having him go through anger, bargaining and acceptance of the deaths would be so cool like. I can imagine a falling out happening between Parrot & Leo’s team, more so because of Derapchu and Jumper because one day it hits him that they just. Left District 13 because he was having trouble coming up with a plan and that the only person who stayed with him ended up fucking dying while everyone else was fine and well. The mix of being angry at them for leaving, a part of him convincing himself it was for the better because he would’ve probably gotten them killed too, and the majority of him just being so grief-struck that he can’t function. The constant back-and-forth of blaming the rest of District 13 and convincing himself that if he’d made just one decision differently - if he’d maybe listened to Wifies when he was begging him to run, to leave the rest of the server behind, etc etc…. That birb is going through so much I hope the next video is longer so that we can see more of his grief. In addition, the “bargaining” part could be Parrot interacting with the director, finding himself in a similar position as Spoke in the previous season except this time Parrot’s atleast semi-aware that he’s talking to the villain of their smp. The only question is what would Parrot have to offer? Cause like. The director seems sorta hesitant in killing him and Wemmbu and ik it’s probably the plot armor but I personally like to believe that the director is struggling to figure out which one to Spokeify but leaning towards Parrot because on one hand, you have Wemmbu - sorta prone to violence, decent fighter, would fist fight you. NOT very good listener. His moral compass lowk depends on Egg. ON THE OTHER HAND. You have Parrot. Not exactly stable. Clearly resistant to people in power. More vulnerable than Wemmbu because he just lost his two best friends and is struggling to integrate into Leo’s team. Could Probably get snowballed out of it so quickly at the tiniest misstep on Leo’s (or literally any member of his team) part. Like I’m sorry but “Nah I’m gonna stop trying to kill you cause this is kinda annoying like I thought killing you would be easy but you’re actually giving me trouble so no” from the #1 MINECRAFT PLAYER is wild??? Like I can. Not see someone being so good at the game and not appreciating a good challenge like. ??? Plus bro literally gets hired by the director why would he warn Parrot about more people coming after him if he’s working with the director?? Like. Maybe I’m just paranoid but that feels like such weak reasoning like. I am so scared of the director but also lowk want him to pull at Parrot’s strings and spin him into a sort-of villain like narrative so that the director can stay hidden for longer while everyone tries to deal with this internal conflict because Parrot’s proved he’s a pretty hard player to kill time and time again. He’s like a real life bird (or a fish ig) constantly slipping out of someone’s hands. I love the idea of the director but I do not like the thought that his only want is killing Parrot (and Wemmbu - although I’m pretty sure it wasn’t outright stated, and also Spoke probably) like. What happened to villains with ulterior motives. You’re telling me this guy stayed hidden behind the scenes for a year with very few people even being aware of his existence and. That’s it? All he wants to do is kill a few players and probably take over the server? I’m sorry I’m just not buying it.

I will also be side-eyeing every single new character like. Any of them could be the director or maybe none of them are and I’m just slowly losing it. The thing UU does to me man.

I think this is all I wanted to say (for now) sorry for the long semi-analysis lol

- 🌺 Anon

Don't worry, I'm always glad to get new asks in my inbox! Anyways! These are all really nice :D

[cheriiepies]

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x fem!reader

Warnings: swearing, angst, enemies to lovers

Note: This is my first fiction, and I know it is not perfect. But I will try to improve. Btw, big thanks for @papaya-twinks as she helped me with this fiction a lot!! SO THANK YOU POOKIE(((ＵωＵ｀ *)(* ´ＵωＵ))).

Since the karting days the relationship between you and Charles was sour. It felt like any opportunity for bonding or getting to know each other was filled with long arguments over stupid things, fights, battles (and stubborness)

It was a race weekend and you were walking in the paddock towards your team ready to do some media work and content for the fans with your *favorite* teammate, Charles. Those challenges you did for the youtube or instagram is always filled with passive aggresivness or extreme competition.

As you were reaching the Ferrari garage you heared a familiar voice calling you over:

-"Y/n! Charles! Here you guys are. I need to speak to you two , alone". Charles glanced at you briefly:

-"What did you do now?"

-"Well hello to you too, Charles. I am fine how are you? And for the record the last time we were called in his office was when you fucked our race up!"

"Oh, get over it. Not my problem that you cannot control a wheel". You rolled your eyes at that trying very hard to not bite back

They entered the office seeing a very serious Fred looking at them.

"I hope you guys know that I won't tolerate any crashes that happened between you because you were too stubborn to listen to your race engineers!"-he said his voice rising at the end as this was certeanly not a rare inCHident(got that?). "We have the ability to get the podium as the car is perfectly suited for this circuit. P3 and P4 are not a bad starting position. We have to get the most out of this opportunity. Understood?". Both of them agreed, trying to talk less as it would cause more arguments.

"I won't let you ruin my race again y/n" charles said as they were leaving the office for an interview that would start in 20 minutes. "Can say the same about you. You can not tolerate me being ahead of you. It seems to be hurting your ego. The only reason you can secure podiums is because of the team orders. " He could only chuckle at that finding the idea amusing. "Well, the reason is I am the better driver in this team, so you do as the orders say." "Fuck you Charles! You act like you are all that, when in reality, all you do is blame the car or me when something fucks your race up, but it is you. Maybe you should get your head out of your ass and realise that you are not as good?" Ypu knew he was a good driver. But you still liked pushing his buttons. Charles could only glare at you not wanting to say things he will regret later. It was just a silent walk after that as they all sat in their beloved places during the interview.

Timeskip: the race

-“Right, Y/N, we’re starting in P4, let’s see if we can optimise this position,” your engineer spoke calmly. You replied with a simple and calm ‘yes’, knowing fully well of your own motive. Beat Charles. He’d already been a right ass about having qualified P3, one spot ahead of you, by less than a tenth, and what you wanted? To wipe his filthy little smirk away.

And so the formation lap begun, your eyes fixed on the rear wing of your teammate’s car, watching as he drove round the circuit. Five lights. Out. Instantly, you tried, and failed, to overtake him, feeling the threat of the number four car behind you. “Fuck,” you hissed, pressing harder to get away from him, your eyes trained on Charles. Sure, the team HAD warned you two on how these constant fiery battles could end up costing you the win or points at the minimum, but you were not one to back down. And neither was Charles, apparently. After 40 laps the cars ahead of you were starting to pit. It was an easy overtake to p3 and charles p2. But you wanted more. So you tried to overtake Charles even if your race engineer told you not to, as it is not safe with the tyres and they did not want to risk anything. As you were trying to overtake the wheels touched and it sent the both of you out of the track ulitametly crashing each other.

"What the fuck was that!" Charles was rigtfully angry. It was the perfect moment to secure P2 or even get a P1. You both got out of the car. You wanted to apoligize for ruining his race.

"Hey, I am sorry it was an accident, I miscalucilated and- "shut the fuck up! You always do this, why couldn't you just listen?. And now we are both out of the race. Do you realise how dangerous your driving is? Maybe they were all right about you. You do not deserve your seat! It is a miracle you could even get out of F3 alive!" He kept going on about how undeserving you are of the seat. It hurt you more than you cared to admit. Even if you disliked Charles(or so you thought), his validation and approval was still something you craved. You admired him since the beggining of your F1 rookie season. You looked up at him trying to hide your tears- " I said sorry, mistakes happen. I hope you forgive me . I have to go". Charles felt guilty at his harsh words suddenly realising that you did not deserve all that shit. He wanted to apologize but you were already gone. He was zoning out while the reporters asked about the crash, replaying it on the screens. All he could think of is how sad you looked when he was lashing out on you. He did not see you all day, not on the paddock not,after the race. You where nowhere to be seen.

It was already late, he could not sleep. The guilt was eating Charles up, his harsh words replaying in his mind. The way you looked so sad. It bothered him a lot, he did not actually wanted to hurt your feelings, he wasn't thinking right saying those things. With out thinking much his worry carried him towards your hotel room. Charles slowly knocked on the door, not hearing anything he slowly opened it.

" y/n? Are you here? I am so sorry about what I said. I wasn't thi-". Charles stopped talking as soon as he saw you laying on your bed with red teary eyes. Hair disheveled, laying on your bed trying to wipe your cheeks. "Hey, hey. Are you crying because of today? " he instictively came closer to you, wanting to comfort you. "I am so sorry, I did not want to ruin your race! You were right about me , maybe I am a bad driver. You have all the rights to hate me"- you rambled, trying not to cry again. "I was mad and said things that weren't true. You are a great driver y/n even if I tell you otherwise. I was an asshole and it was unfair of me to say hurtful words like that. Accidents happen. And for the record, I do not hate you. " Not realising Charles was holding y/n close, hugging her, not wanting her to cry anymore. Charles denied his protectivness over y/n, though his actions spoke otherwise. It made her feel butterflies in her stomach even if she tried to deny it.

"I forgive you too. You had every right to be mad at me. And I do not hate you either. Not at all. " You suddenly felt shy at the position you were in. But he still kept you close, gently looking at you. There was something else happening at the way you looked at each other so softly. He slowly leaned in, giving you the chance to back away if you did not want this. But you both wanted this. His lips were soft and gentle as he held your cheek and carrased your hair lovingly. As you pulled away, he gently whispered, "I can never hate you."

[redsector-a]

For a second I got a little excited thinking 'oh I can do the alliteration thing 'cause it's wednesday.' It's not Wednesday. And it's actually been a weirdly long feeling week otherwise so I dunno how I backtracked.

Conference Fic: This one has reached 10k. 10,200ish actually. It's still not done. I think it could be 15k in the end. Maybe more? Unsure. Still need to name it, likely need to find a beta reader soon because I am hoping I can finish it soon. I hate saying that, I feel like I am asking for trouble. But yeah - beta reader? I prefer SPAG but also someone who would also give some positive feedback (like yeah critical is fine, but if it's all 'things I did wrong' and never a 'oh I liked this' I won't write anymore 'cause my RSD* is majorly bad. Like my regular life is filled with enough all critical nothing good, so, I'd like something positive somewhere).

Stand fusion still holding steady at a little less than 6k. Took notes more than anything. Perhaps my layover in Vegas will be inspirational?

Strongly leaning towards my next 'shorter' fic (the Stand is a massive novel and thus anything that is fused with it is likely to be massive as well - I like having at least two things going at once too) being one in which Langdon ends up breaking both arms at the same time. So Mel volunteers to move in with him for a few weeks because he can't really manage otherwise (being the most divorced man in America obvsly). Hijinks ensue! Becca finds this to be the best reality tv ever!

And that's it. As always if anything sounds interesting please let me know? Like with words, please. I'm struggling lately. Like a lot. A lot a lot. sigh * RSD = Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, if you didn't know

[starblaster]

i have some clarifying questions about your post about what it means not to encourage delusions, but i figured after like 5 years and who knows how many notes that you might have notifications off for it, so i thought it’d be better to ask here. i promise these questions are in good faith, but feel free to ignore if i am (albeit unintentionally) being disrespectful, making you uncomfortable, or if you’ve just already answered it or any other reason, naturally.

so my questions are: is it helpful to describe what you see when someone else is hallucinating or otherwise experiencing a delusion? is that challenging/arguing with the delusion, or just being honest? like, if they describe that they are seeing something that is not there, is it helpful or harmful to reply by neutrally describing how you see the empty space that they’re describing? also, is it helpful to ask about what someone is experiencing while they’re actively experiencing it? i noticed you said that outside of an active episode, that can feed into the delusion or hallucination, and that makes sense, but i wasn’t sure if it’s as good of an idea as it seems like it might be, to ask what someone is seeing at the very moment they’re seeing it.

thanks for reading this and double thanks if you answer it. i hope you’re having a good one rn

Describing your reality when the person having the delusion is experiencing a different state of reality from you, it may cause issues and it’s more likely than not it will feel like you’re challenging them… if I swear I’m seeing a guy following me and my friends say they don’t see or hear anything and they don’t think anyone is following me, this could be comforting or it could be triggering. Really, it depends on the person but, for the most part, this feels more like you’d be challenging them.

Why not try to focus on what they’re feeling, instead of which state of reality is ‘correct’? Validate the feelings they’re having and give them agency. Such as: “That sounds like it’s really making you feel scared. How would you feel about me walking with you to keep you company in case that guy follows you again?” as opposed to “Is that guy following you? Is the guy still following you? How about now? Is he following you now?” <- because that’s the kind of encouraging you want to avoid. Does that make sense?

Something you’ll need to understand is that “being honest” and “telling the truth” are subjective. A person experiencing a delusion that they are being gang-stalked and blacklisted from social services because everyone is out to get them… is telling the truth, that is the reality they’re experiencing right now.

Asking them what they’re experiencing is usually fine, but maybe try to do so in an open-ended way… like: “What’s been going on for you that’s been making you feel so afraid?” or “What makes you think that?”

In counseling, we have this thing called unconditional positive regard and I’ve found that using it in contexts outside of my relationship with counseling clients has been pretty helpful. Basically, the person experiencing the crisis or distress or delusion… their crisis or situation or state of reality is real, because it’s real to them. Trying to center the conversation on what they’re feeling is more likely to help. Totally fine to ask what they’re experiencing so you have context but it’s not necessary.

Also, I totally get the questions you’re asking, I wrote that post as an angry and 22 or 23 year old living with psychosis-insensitive family members at the time. The original post is not exactly the most coherent thing I could have written.

[scekrex]

I know you've wrote that you got a bit of a writer's block, but I've got an idea for you for later on when you're up in power of creativity.

So, I just woke up from, I'm not sure, a night terror, maybe (might be the hallucinations that are getting to me after yesterday, wooohoo, vicious cycle of not sleeping), and it might sound absolutely weird, but it got me thinking and I came up with an idea for a prompt where the reader gets a night terror, maybe something related to his family before he died like his godson or goddaughter are being tormented by some invisible force in a pram, the reader walks over to it wanting to release the kiddo. When he does, the child does what every kid likes to do which is sort of climbing when you get them into your arms, they like to completely change their arms position and try to get on top of your head, so the kid does that and the reader could feel like a sharp pinch on the back of his neck. The child suddenly dissappeared and he cupped the place where he felt the pain before suddenly waking up in cold sweat to Adam trying to calm him down to the best of his, we all know not the best, abilities, but he's trying! So a cookie for him. They just simply cuddle in silence until everything is fine and it's completely up to you if you want to make the reader talk about whatever happened in his night terror or not. I'm just feeling like some angst with a happy ending, cause jesuuus that nightmare/night terror/sleep hallucination was foking wild 💀

That's how I looked after I woke up, srs

No more writers block, bitches, ur boy's back at it again whoop whoop, (where's my fucking hype train huh??/jk) I also hope you slept better this time <3

Night Terrors

pairing: Adam x male!reader

warnings: language, night terrors (I guess)

note: not beta read bc fuck you I don't have beta readers

Screams and cries of a little child filled your ears and once you were able to focus on your surroundings, your eyes caught your adorable little goddaughter who was sitting in her pram.

She was screaming, crying out your name as she seemed to hit something invisible to your eyes, she was desperately trying to get whatever it was off of her but still being so small she had no chance. Her face was red and her lungs must have hurt by how loudly she's been screaming, tears were running down her cheeks as she tried to get out of her pram - to no success.

You walked over to her, not quite understanding what was wrong with her - what was wrong with the situation. You had goosebumps all over your body and it was only then that you noticed you were shaking. Where that feeling came from you didn't know but what you did know was that you had to get to your goddaughter. The poor little thing needed to calm down, her body must have been exhausted already and she was still putting up a fight.

“Hey there, little princess,” your words sounded unreal in your own ears, as if they were muffled by cotton, but you continued talking to her as you reached to pick her up, “Now, now, pumpkin, I’m here now, you don't need to be afraid anymore.” The little girl looked at you with curious eyes as she made grabby hands at you. You finally lifted her out of her pram and rested her on your hip with one arm wrapped around her body, the other supporting her head. “See?” you smiled softly at the little girl. “You’re all safe now, I won't let anything happen to you, pumpkin,” you assured the little human as you wiped her tears from her cheeks.

She, however, seemed to have different plans, because while she did stop to scream and she did stop to kick around, she was now climbing up your body - with your hands supporting her obviously. “Whatcha doing?” you asked, irritated by her behavior. She had done that before, it was simply what toddlers did, but she never went further than your shoulder. This time though, she covered your face with her small body as she wrapped her arms and legs around your head tightly.

You tried to pull her away, tried to get the child off of you but to no avail. You called out for help, somebody, anybody, but neither were your calls answered nor did someone step in. She was making it hard for you to breathe and then you felt a sharp pain going through your body, its origin at your neck where your goddaughter’s little hands and mouth had just been, causing you to scream at the top of your lungs. What the fuck was that? Had the little girl bit you? You weren't sure, to be completely honest, you didn't know what was going on entirely.

Suddenly the weight of the child disappeared and when you tried to grab the body that had just been on top of your head, there was nothing but air, nothing unusual and most importantly not your goddaughter. Your hand moved to your neck instead, where the pain came from and once your hand touched the area, your eyes shot open and your body was sitting upright on a soft mattress.

Your heart was pumping fast, so fast that if you were still alive you surely would've had a stroke. Sweat was covering your entire body which caused you to shiver violently, you didn't know if it was because you were actually cold or because of the panic that was still screaming inside you.

Then there were hands on your body, one big, warm and so familiar feeling hand was located on your shoulder, the other cupped your cheek softly. Your head snapped to the side where a warm body was pressed against you and with wide eyes you looked at your boyfriend.

Your boyfriend.

The fog that had made it hard to see your surroundings disappeared and all of a sudden your mind was clear again, silent, but clear.

Adam was holding you, your head was resting against his chest and the tip of his feathers gently caressed your arm, his heartbeat was normal, calm even and it helped you to calm down as well. Your eyes that had been wide open only seconds ago were falling shut and you leaned into the warmth the brunette offered you. “There you are, babes,” he mumbled with his face buried in your hair, visibly relieved about that fact. “Thought you were dying,” you knew just as much as him that you wouldn't die that easily but it gave you some kind of fuzzy feeling to think that, to pretend that you could've died, to pretend that you were still human. Just for the moment.

“No I-” you interrupted yourself. You wanted to explain to him what had happened, that you hadn't been dying. But the words never left your lips, instead you simply shook your head and repeated, “No.” Adam placed a kiss on your head, “Good.”

That was a thing about Adam that you adored, well one of the many things. He never pressured you to talk, he always gave you time and space if needed, even if it was hard for the both of you to understand and handle. So you silently cuddled up against him, your arms were wrapped around his hips and your face was buried in his chest as you listened to his heartbeat. Oh his heartbeat, one of the few things in heaven that were able to calm you down in an instant. His calm breathing helped you too and you breathed with him in order to calm your body down.

“Sorry for waking you,” you mumbled against his skin, pressing your face even closer to his chest in embarrassment. “Shut up, babes,” he simply said. You knew he meant ‘It doesn't matter as long as you're safe and well’ and ‘I love you, stop apologizing for such nonsense’. So you did. You did shut up and continued to listen to his body, in the distance you heard a couple of birds singing but that was quickly tuned out by Adam who was humming something - probably one of the countless songs he and his band had written. But you enjoyed it, enjoyed him humming to you, him giving you the comfort you needed without questioning it.

Soon he slowly laid back down, pulling you down with him. Your head was still resting on his chest - your entire body was laying on top of him. “Try to catch some sleep babes, whatever fucked up demon was haunting you, I'll fight that bastard off for you if he tries again.” You chuckled softly at that but gave a quiet hum in agreement. You felt how his wings came up to wrap around your body to underline his words, he'd protect you.

He always did.

[forbiddenbeez]

Maybe we’ll wait in a bar, he’ll have a funky quirk

art by @faithmerefate on tiktok

(sorry for any errors or weirdness this is my first fanfic and I hope its good : D)

After the U.A. students move into the dorms Tokoyami craves independence from them and picks up a new waiter job and perhaps also ends up picking up a new fine shyt coworker.

After the students of U.A moved into the dorms there were many changes. It was clear that this change was needed due to the recent acts of the school and its students. Some people felt as though they could be more independent and some abused this independence. Like when Denki caused a campus wide power-outage due to trying to “be a man” and fix an electrical socket. 

But with this independence came the realization of certain things. While Tokoyami loved his class and him being able to move into a bigger room and truly deck out his private lair of darkness. But he did not enjoy the loudness of his classmates who seemed to have no idea of how loud they were even if they were being nice. One day on a weekend where the morning was irritatingly loud, Tokoyami saw an ad in the newspaper. The ad was for a waiter position in a more upscale restaurant. It was only a fifteen minute walk from the entrance of U.A. Tokoyami pondered about what he wanted to do before thinking ‘Honestly that seems far more beneficial to my own inner health than this place’. So he applied and was accepted into the role of a waiter without an interview. On the first day of the job he learned that because he is a student from not only the famous U.A but the infamous class 1.A was good for the restaurant's publicity that he now worked at. 

Tokoyamis first week was tricky but more peaceful than what his week would have been if he didn’t have the job and he was more than glad to have the extra money. He enjoyed the escape he got from his classmates even if he did truly care for him. But after that first week things began to go downhill. Turns out that the publicity of him working there worked a bit too well and ended up with much more harassment than he was comfortable with. A sudden surplus of customers who came to watch him work or demand knowledge out of him. Unfortunately for him his usual stoic personality did not diminish their efforts, rather it seemed to spur them on. 

It was until the manager moved you to share a section with him in the restaurant. You'd been working there for only a couple months more than tokyami but you had been a big help with costomors and your strong morals always ensured that none of your coworkers were mistreated. So teaming you and tokoyami seemed like a wise decision to the manager of the restaurant. You didn’t mind as you enjoyed his calm presence and the calm demeanor that accompanied him. So you and him worked in the section together. At first it was a bit awkward but he quickly got over that as he had no reason to not want more help and to be relieved from the harassment that he has to endure from his classmates and the customers. But you helped with that whether it was putting a customer in their place with tactful and purposely hurtful insults or if it was being as passive aggressive as possible. Whatever it was you made sure that your new hire coworker was comfortable. As the first few days of working in close proximity blended into months the two of you grew more comfortable and more confident with each other. At one point he even gave you his number accompanied by a long note detailing how he was ‘ever grateful for the unrelenting effort to ensure an equilibrium of treatment between myself and those I have a duty to serve’. Despite how oh so eloquent he was it was obvious he was still an anxious individual. You were in no rush to get to know him so he began to open up to you bit by bti. The more you two texted the more you felt like you could trust him and you two quickly became friends. By the time October crept up you two were used to each other and working together that you helped each other clean no matter what. 

The air in the restaurant was chilly and the uniforms for the restaurant were no real help. Today was a slow day and you and tokoyami were just cleaning up and finishing up the arbitrary work you had as you waited for more customers. 

“I feel it pertinent for you to have the knowledge that my birthday is soon” Tokoyami muttered as he wiped down the table that you had just taken dishes from. He trusted that you heard him so he didn’t check to see if you did.

“I know” you replied smiling to yourself because you had already planned a gift to get him “but continue with whatever you are getting at.” 

You could see a small smile tug at his mouth from the corner of your eye. You knew he had something planned or else he wouldn’t have mentioned it because he already told you how he hated it when people made a fuss about his birthday. Or made a fuss in general. 

“Well I should have had known that you would remember due to your profound insight. I digress though and I would like to ask if you would want to accompany me to my dorm to help me celebrate my birthday, tonight." He talked confidently but in the way that you do when you extensively prepare for something. 

“Oh? So now you're asking to take me home tonight. Quite bold.” You said barely containing a giggle as you know that’s not what he meant but you couldn’t deny the opportunity to pick on him just a bit. 

Tokoyami somehow visibly flushed despite not having any visible cheeks. “NO. Crap that’s not- um I mean you have seemed to misunderstand what I had originally intended for you to understand. I meant I would enjoy your company outside of our workplace.” 

“Of course I would love to hangout with you after work. I mean we’ve hung out before. I guess it's just different because it's your dorm.” 

You smiled at him in earnest. You had managed to become so close to someone who secluded themselves so much it made you happy. He made you happy. Tokoyami smiled at you too. His smile made his appreciation clear with a heartwarming and comforting feel making you feel melty despite the cold of the autumn air. The sound of jingling keys interrupted the moment.

“Sorry to interrupt the teenage AWKWARD romance happening but yall can go. We have more than enough people to close up and you two deserve a little fun.” She ended her sentence with a wink as if she knew something you two didn’t. Although you didn’t mind the entandra she slipped in there Tokoyami was internally freaking out because he didn’t want to scare you away. But before his panic could internalize too much you grabbed him and dragged him out of the restaurant grabbing your and his bag from the employee area on the way out. 

The two of you stepped outside and into the crisp evening air. The breeze shook the trees and the warm multihued leaves that fluttered downward. The weather began to cool and the slight almost unapparent summer air that still stubbornly hung around began to disappear. You glanced at tokoyami from the side of your eye and saw him solemnly taking in the scene as you were. In this light of the sun quietly setting over the horizon you could truly take in his beauty you had originally only seen indoors or on the occasional walk from the restaurant late at night. Before you knew it the two of you were staring at each other, embracing the other's quiet captivation with the other's appearance. 

“Perhaps we should begin our journey before it gets too late into the evening” Muttered tokoyami as he began to look away flustered. You smiled in response knowing he was right but you also enjoyed this moment so dearly you didn't want to leave it. 

“Yeah. I guess you’re right. Please lead the way good sir” You said finally tearing your eyes away from him. 

And with that he silently nodded his head and motioned for you to follow him. From the restaurant the two of you walked quietly but contently. There was peace within this silence, a peace that you seemed you only truly realized with him. Only with him. You couldn't place your finger on it but you just felt better with him. As if that tear on your heart that was left from the harm that others caused was better. Not gone, it'll never leave you no matter how hard you try. Never. But it felt better no longer a gaping hole made but a cruel and uncaring persons verbal shotgun that bled incessantly but it instead felt like a scrape on the knee. You don’t know why you feel like this but you hope it will never leave. You hope it will outlast the cold winters and the hot summers and whatever distance is created. You cared more for Tokoyami than almost anyone else in your life. You were so grateful that he was your friend. You began to smile and glanced at Tokoyami. He was already looking with an unreadable but undoubtedly happy expression. 

Although perhaps you were both staring too hard as you ended up getting tripped up over your own feet. You caught yourself from falling although just barely and to deflect from your slip up you instead talked. “So how much longer till we get there?”

“Mhm” was all you got back at first before he took out his phone and looked at something before answering “we will be arriving at U.A in approximately 10 minutes and my dorm is a 7 minute walk from there from my experience.”

“Nice” was all you said back, perhaps you were still too wrapped up in your head or maybe you don't feel like you have to entertain Tokoyami for the two of you to enjoy eachothers company.

He continued to fiddle with his phone before taking something out of his pocket. It was earbuds and he put one in and after held the other one towards you expecting to take it. You took it and put it in your ear and listened along with him. The song Exit Music (For a Film) by Radiohead starts playing. Although the song was gloomy it was comforting in its sorrow much like the man you share a pair of earbuds with. After a moment of listening you were ecstatic that his music taste matched his appearance, it was amazing how dark and alternative he is.

The walk went quicker than you thought it would as the two of you reached the gates of the famed U.A. high in what felt like two seconds. A strange man was standing in the entrance and you assumed that it must be a security guard but before you could ask Tokoyami if you should do anything the man loudly barked “Is that the one you were talking about earlier? The appearance but we need to ensure it is who it looks like.”

“Yes sir, they are indeed who I was discussing with the facility and I'm assured that they can provide whatever information you need.”

The dog-like man turned towards you but before he could say anything you had fished out your school I.D and you hoped that that would be enough and that you could not get fussed at by a man that looks like a werewolf. You presented your I.D to the man and we made a show of inspecting it and staring at it before finally relentling and saying “Ok it all checks out, feel free to go ahead.”

You smiled and giddily walked into the U.A campus before a realization struck you and you asked “You said you talked with teachers about this but you just asked me today what's up with that.”

“You may call it wistful thinking and I inquired about it before presenting the question to you because I felt it pertinent for things to be perfect for you.”

You felt yourself blush at those words and suddenly your mind went blank which was weird since you usually always understood him and had a quick response but now you were stumped and your mouth talked before your brain could. 

“S-So you made sure everything is all fancy even though it’s your birthday? That’s so- actually really sweet” 

As you spoke your voice started to trail off and you could feel Tokoyami’s gaze on you. Your blush began to deepen but before either in you could take any action a strange shadow appeared. 

“HEY THE BEST BIRD IS HERE”

Dark shadow was suddenly in your face and shouting which caused you to stumble once more. 

“Oh hello dark shadow. It’s nice to meet you. Tokoyami talks about you a lot.”

Dark shadow smiled smugly before squawking “Of course he does i’m the best” 

“On the contrary I mostly speak of your foolish behavior”

The dark beast pretended to be mortally wounded by his words and shrank while falling dramatically. Before appearing behind Tokoyami silently and hovering over the shoulder on the opposite side of you. You giggled a bit as it was rare to see Tokoyami deal with something so silly, besides your occasional shenanigans.

Dark shadow was staring at you before finally saying “she is exactly how you described yami.”

You were a little surprised by the fact that Tokoyami talked about you but you were also kinda touched. To know that someone who talks so little talks about you is something that feels as if it is an honor. 

“WOAH WHO KNEW YOU GOT RIZZ LIKE THAT TOKOYAMI” shouted a voice from the entrance of the building you and tokoyami had just begun to get closer to. 

It was some blond teen boy that you distantly remember seeing during the sports festival. What was his name derek? Denkoy? Donkey? You decided you didn't particularly care either way. Although you found it sort of funny, Tokoyami seemed annoyed with him. If you had spent more than a day with the blonde’s dumbass you’d well understand the annoyance. Tokoyami simply ignored him and continued up the path that led to the entrance with you trailing behind suddenly way more nervous than before due to the realization that Tokoyami was the only person you knew. Well maybe you count Dark Shadow into that too. But you’d think about that another time. By the time you two had reached the door and went inside the blonde had retreated inward into the building.

“Oh come on! Emo bird scores before I do, no fair” a incredibly short and incredibly ugly dude with purple ball hair said in a whiny tone.

Another boy with black hair and weird elbows retorted “well no one is really gonna go for you dude. Besides, don't diss Tokoyami, don't want him to sick Dark Shadow on you” he laughed as he finished talking. 

Although you were curious about what they meant, Tokoyami just continued to walk, making you rush to catch up to him.

“So” you started as the two of you left the main part of the building and began to ascend stairs, “what was that? They seemed really weird about me getting here. Lowkey it made me nervous.” 

Tokoyami looked at you quietly as he held the door open for you to exit the stairwell, as he usually did for you. “Please do not worry yourself with thoughts such as those. They are just- they find it pertinent to investigate my life.” 

“I can tell 'em off like the people at the restaurant.” You said in a serious tone trying to let your concern be understood. “No one gets to bully you except for me.” You added to try and lighten the mood when he didn’t respond.

He was quiet for a long second, he only spoke after the two of you reached his room. As he dug his hand into his pocket and took out a ring of keys he finally answered.

“Please don’t. You’ll just incur their wrath more and -“

Dark shadow suddenly popped up again “besides they just know something you don’t” 

“Quiet Dark Shadow,” Tokoyami said strongly, effectively silencing him. 

Although you were curious you decided it was likely best you didn’t pry further since you weren’t in the class so who were you to impede. Tokoyami finally opened the door to his room but he did so slowly as if he feared your reaction. But you were delighted but his decor even if it looked like a emo Pinterest board and the soul of gothic architecture had a baby. You quietly put your stuff down whilst wandering around the room and inspected all of the things in his room that you found delightfully interesting. From the dark curtains to the purple lighting you found it delightful. 

“So may I make the assumption that you enjoy my room?” Tokoyami questioned making you realize that you hadn’t said a word about his room to him but instead just invited yourself to look around and do whatever as if you were a cat.

Carefully putting the awesome sword you had just found you bashfully replied, “Oh yeah I love it it’s really cool. It's way cooler than my room.”

You smiled at Tokoyami meeting his deep soulful eyes for the first time in his room. They were beautiful against the piercing black and the purple light, their mahogany color seemed to radiate. You noted to yourself that you would probably remember something this beautiful for sometime. Tokoyami walked closer to you closing the distance between the two of you, he opened his mouth but he closed it once more as if unsure if he was willing to say the words he had wanted to say. But still talked although unsure.

 “If you continue to stare at me like that I may fall victim to beauty that which you possess. I- um. Where are my manners? I'll get you a beverage after all, you are my guest.” 

And with that Tokoyami scrambled out of the room. Wait, did he just call you beautiful? A part of you wished he would stay and come back but you felt conflicted why did you feel this way. I mean getting flustered over eye contact with someone you’ve been friends with for months is ridiculous. And you compliment him too so why would him complimenting you affect you so much.

“I'm an idiot,” you whispered, holding your blushing cheeks.

A sudden chill ran down your spine as a Dark Shadow materialized in front of you once more.

“I’d beg to differ” Dark Shadow said smiling in a mischievous way “I doubt Yami would fall in love with an idiot” 

The words you were about to say suddenly disappeared and your mouth hung agap. Your thoughts rushed; he loved you? What does that even mean you aren’t even dating!? But you can’t help to feel a blossom of warmth within yourself. A smile tug on your lips. You realize you don’t know how you feel about him but you can’t describe the pull you have for him. The comfort he has brought to your life. Maybe you loved him to but-

“Wait, does Tokoyami know you did this? Oh god if he doesn’t that’s so bad.”

“So you don’t like him?!! God he’s gonna be so bummed. He’s already extra emo lately because of the bird head. Which I don’t get. I’m amazing looking with a bird head.”

“Wait, he's insecure? But no, I like him. I think I don’t know but I-“ you stopped speaking for a moment as you carefully considered what this would mean. You realize now of course you like him maybe even love but part of you would rather lie than tell him. He’s amazing and that scares you. You don’t want to mess up another good thing in your life. But you’ll never know if you don’t try. 

“I want to date him. I want to date Tokoyami too because he’s an amazing person with or without the bird head.”

“Good I didn’t want to deal with him being a depresso espresso. Besides he needs your help.” And with that Dark Shadow began to drag you out of Tokoyami’s room and downstairs and although you tried to fight back it didn’t make that much of a difference because Dark Shadow was incredibly strong. Dark shadow came to a sudden stop that made you feel like you got whiplash. You head was spinning and you were still blushing from realizing your feelings for Tokoyami. Finally realizing where you are, you began to question Dark Shadow before you heard his voice. 

“Fine I'll relent! I like them! Is that the information you were trying to obtain?” Tokoyami said in a frustrated tone.

“I knew it!” Yelled the blonde one from earlier.

A green haired boy you remembered seeing on the news spoke up too “Good for you they seem nice”

“You think your really gonna bag her while looking like tha-“ The ugly purple creature said

A hard smack across the back of the head was delivered to him by a girl that was all pink who added “That’s rude. Tokoyami is a great person with an amazing quirk!” 

Despite his comforting it was clear the purple ones' comments had cut into him. You could see that behind that mask of nonchalance there was a deep rooted sadness and insecurity. You hated seeing him like that and your body and mouth reacted before your brain.

“You know” you said boldly while stepping out from behind the corner “I still think Tokoyami is handsome even with feathers. I would also appreciate it if you would not pick at him for information because if you need to know something he’ll tell you.” And with that you grabbed him by the hand and dragged him back to his room. 

You opened the door and then closed it behind him. Finally meeting his gaze after that whole fiasco. It was obvious he was confused but also flustered just like you. The both of you wanted to speak but had no idea how to. So Dark Shadow started for you both.

“Well that went well!” Dark shadow’s enthusiastic mood was stiffed by the awkwardness as you just called Tokoyami hot in front of all of his classmates, “Oh I get I get. I’m ruining the mood you both just learned of the others feelings due to my help and want to ‘get down to business’. I’ll just go now, have fun. I won't interrupt because I DO NOT want to see that.” 

“Dark shadow, what information did you relay to them?” Tokoyami said concerned.

But Dark Shadow slipped into the shadows and disappeared. You felt that maybe explaining would help “Yeah, Dark Shadow said that you are kinda in love with me. And that you were insecure about your looks. Then it dragged me down to where you were and I heard what the grape looking bastard said and I just. . . I don’t want you to ever feel bad. So I couldn’t help but defend you.”

You shifted nervously and took a small step forward trying to close the distance between both of you and your hearts. 

“I am. . . I lack-“ Tokoyami seemed to almost be malfunctioning as he spoke and took a breath and closed the distance between you both and grabbed your hands softly as he muttered “I’m truly touched by how much you care and I wish to return that in full earnest not out of obligation but because I desire to care for you. With that I would be honored if you would grant me the chance to court you.” 

As he spoke his feathers began to fluff up as he became nervous and he internally yelled at himself to not fumble this.

“I’d be happy to date you, Tokoyami” You answered, squeezing his hands.

The weight lifted off of your chest and all the doubts you had melted away. You felt assured in him, in your relationship. Tokoyami was relieved, all that teasing from his classmates was worth it. You were fully worth the trouble. A smile spread across his face.

“Please call me Fumikage, and I will be forever grateful to date someone as amazing as you.”

You let go of his hands and went to wrap your arms around him softly before lightheartedly saying “I guess this is a pretty awesome birthday huh?”

He wrapped his arms around you and squeezed you lightly, cherishing this moment while saying softly “Undoubtedly the best, all due to you.”