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marshiethemoonie · 1 month ago

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okay… so uh, this is new, considering i’ve never done stuff like this before, so… let’s do a fan cast, or well, my fan cast, some choices will probably be bias but I DONT CARE, I LOVE EM—

Note: I haven’t been in the muppet fandom for god knows how long, so if this is inaccurate in any way, you’re free to tweak this cast list to your liking, and… this is my opinion, feel free to change up your own cast lists to your liking and preferences! But, without further ado! (And inspired by one twitter post that I don’t want to scurry Twitter for especially since I don’t have it!)

MARSHIE’S (unofficial) MUPPET FANCAST OF ROCKY HORROR PICTURE BECAUSE MUPPETS HAVE CLOGGED THE BRAIN!

Brad & Janet - …Yeah, I’m not casting them as humans, not only because I don’t really like muppet x human stuff that comes up with that, but also the fact that i have a very funny idea for who will be the human choice… so… for them, i would have to go with Piggy & Kermit for these roles, and yes, as Brad & Janet respectively, it’s funny like that! Also I feel like it’ll spawn very funny scenes between them, especially with the… things in there, the very smexy things in there wink wink nudge nudge (even though it is adultery BUT COME ON—)

Dr. Frank N. Furter - I will be honest and say that, I was a biiit tongue tied on who to give this role to, I was going to give it to, shockingly, Floyd, because well, I like the bassman, and I have a bias towards him… but now I’m not so sure, I think the best option, besides Gonzo and Bunsen (I have all three saved for… other stuff). I can’t believe I’m saying this, but Dr. Teeth is a perfect fit for that mad role. I will not explain my reasoning other than the fact that it somehow fits, and I think him doing Sweet Transvestite would be absolutely hot and cool at the same time. Plus he just has… vibes of fitting this role to a T, so that’s why. :]

Riff-Raff - See, I told you I had someone saved for other stuff! Because this is the other stuff I’m talking about! Gonzo will be Riff-Raff, mostly because… that was mostly the popular choice for him besides Frank, and because, y’know, the thing with Magenta— you’ll get to see what I mean in the next section, but, needless to say, it is pretty obvious. (Also, i think a weirdo like Gonzo would take on the role, mayhaps to ‘expand his actorial skills and shine like a burning man in honey!’)

Magenta - Camilia. No debate on that, we can’t have Gonzo be all by his lonesome self and not have his girlfriend, no? Just.. a bit of a change though, I would probably change it to instead of Magenta being Riff-Raff’s sister, like in the original version, Gonzo and Camilia are probably romantically involved in this picture show, either engaged or just. dating is fine, wouldn’t mind any other way though! (Plus Camilla will kick ass in this fancast and i love that idea).

Columbia - Janice. okay let’s just get to the next one—

Eddie - OHOHOHO NOW THIS IS AN INTERESTING CASTING CHOICE! Originally, I was going to give this role to the obvious choice and the one that people answered to the most, that being Animal!… but, because of bias stuff and because I just… didn’t see it (yeah surprisingly, I didn’t fucking see the beast who wears leather jackets sometimes in the role of the only one who dresses like a biker boy), so, I thought of the other option, and while looking through it.. I decided to go with Floyd Pepper! Yeah, him!

Not only do I see it (and honestly, him wearing Eddie’s garb would make me, a Floyd Pepper lover, heart SWOON), but I can see Matt Vogel being an absolute powerhouse while singing ‘Hot Patootie’ as Floyd! Come on, look at his verses in ‘MAYHEM’ and (a bit of, mostly because he sings with a more slower and less chaotic timbre there) ‘We Are One’ and tell me that he cannot be bad at that song, because he couldn’t! Maybe just a bit of strain on the fast talking parts, sure, but I don’t doubt it. There’s also the fact that I also casted Dr. Teeth and Janice into Frank & Columbia and… definitely not for shippy reasons whatsoever, no siree, just ignore that fact and say that i just like them together—

Maybe it’s cause I’m admittedly a very big fan of the bassman, but I love this casting choice, and can see him being an absolute showstopper, even though he’s a minor character (also the mental image of Floyd being chased around by an axe wielding Dr. Teeth is very hilarious to me.)

Scott - insert that one interview of Animal and Floyd and Animal repeats the word ‘Scott!’ at the very beginning—

No, but in all seriousness, this one is hard, especially because I don’t want to seem like I’m casting a principal muppet member as a german bad person! I was originally going to go with Sam, but… y’know, I have him saved elsewhere (lies, he’s in here actually.), And… I came into a pickle, that being that… there are two roles that can fit this very easily, and nicely, and these two are… going to be explained in their own sections.

- Dr Bunsen & Beaker - Yeah, obvious reasoning out of the way, they’re scientists, they can pull off this role, and, like Jacob & Robert Marley in the Muppets Christmas Carol, will be a double pack… or maybe Bunsen/Beaker looking for their lost… friend(?), Bunsen/Beaker, whatever the case, it’ll be interesting, also rather funny if it’s a double pack, mayhaps Bunsen does more of the smarter moments while Beaker does more of Scott’s absentminded moments (something to do with Scott’s blindness? My brain is trying to rack it while not sounding ableist.). So, yeah, this is my first option… my second option… is very american

- Sam The Eagle - Yeah, this is just for the funny, but also the irony of a very patriotic eagle playing a german bound doctor is not lost on me, so… it’ll be hilarious, I won’t have him replicate the german accent though, as I just… want him to act the same patriotic way, so… yeah!

Now, why did I lump these two together, well… easy! I decided to work around the.. issue, because even though Muppets is decidedly mature, I don’t feel like I’m too educated on… that whole thing, to really portray the muppets as such, that and.. even though they’re actors, I rather not portray them as such and decided to not do so. So, here’s my idea: Bunsen & Beaker/Sam… is played by a human! Muppet men to be exact but just… an actual human!

Think about it, you come into this mansion, and you see the only glimpses of hope, and it’s a human, a constant reminder of how there is still hope for Kermit and Piggy to escape and be helped by someone, but then, the big reveal happens, Dr. Teeth storms on over to the human, and decloaks them! And that is when either Bunsen+Beaker or Sam is revealed to the audience! Probably a custom audience prompt will be used as well, now that I think about it— But, yeah, this is my premium choice for the human character! As for who would be the exact person playing the human? Uh… I havent thought of it, maybe Tim Curry? But I don’t know… yet.

Criminologist - Statler and Waldorf, come on! It’s hilarious! Plus… I like Statler and Waldorf having a more major role, and this was the option, do you think they’ll break the wall more often to heckle at the tale they’re telling? Or perhaps they heckle each other? Because it will be funny if they do so.

…I think that’s all! We got our main cast members down, and I got myself some cool ass imaginary scenes to make up for my head! I think now it’s time to— oh wait.

ROCKY HORROR - Okay, okay, so, this one is a bit more of a brain racker for me, mostly because I was tied between either making this a human or a muppet, but eventually, I settled on three choices, all of which are muppets, especially since the human is replaced with y’know who already, so, without a further ado!

- Animal - Hahahahha, do you think it’ll be funny if I made this sad in someway? Good because I will… so, what if I made Animal not just the ‘perfect man’, but also someone who was tangentially tied towards Frank, Columbia, &/or Eddie, considering they’re all casted as Electric Mayhem members. Maybe Animal was a past friend of either or maybe even all of those three members, and something happened and Animal died, can be silly, can be sad and dark, but whatever the case, it had caused everyone to try to not only make the perfect man, but also to bring their old friend back, but somewhere along the way, their whole morals were lost and well.. that’s how they ended up. (Probably caused some resentment against the Electric Mayhem in this play as a result, considering that he was grown to be a y’know what toy… or I can just rewrite that purpose into something else, like wanting to bring some epic jams to the whole entire castle or something!) Or just… the general reason of him being ‘the perfect man’ is more than enough! I don’t know! Otherwise, the casting for that video from that Rocky Horror Muppets video inspired me.

- Link Hogthrob - Don’t think I need to explain this one.

- Sweetums- Okay, okay, so, what if the perfect man was this utter buffoon and monstrous, it would be peak comedy.

Alright, and that’s really all for casting! Now, before I go with my extra HCs regarding this play, let’s go over the minor characters quickly.

The Usherette - Walter? Has to be, now, it could be Camilia, I’m not denying that, but come on, Usherette’s whole gimmick is loving B-movies, somewhat like what Walter’s main gimmick is.

Ralph & Betty - Rowlf and Annie Sue. Perfect parallels, bonus points for Piggy thinking Annie Sue is stealing her role as Janet, and Kermit has to break the fourth wall to hurriedly clarify that this wasn’t the case and that he won’t be on the receiving end of an actual karate chop from Piggy

Transylvanias - Basically everyone I haven’t mentioned, maybe even Constantine can make an appearance, but I’ll touch more on that in the HCs section.

Before you ask, no, i’ll not be making one for Shock Treatment, unless people really want me to, but with that said, that’s all for the fan casts! Now, onto some light trivia on what I would love to see in this hypothetical movie!

- Electric Mayhem covers of all of the songs, all throughout, even when the Electric Mayhem is going down one by one and is supposed to be dead, they won’t hesitate to provide the backing tracks. Bonus points if you can see them in the back, and/or if someone points out that someone is supposed to be dead, and the electric mayhem just comes up with the most batshit excuse.

- “Aren’t you guys supposed to be dead?!”

- “Yeah, man. But the boogie of these songs are magicilious!”

- Small bits of backstage or behind the curtains, one of which is in which Animal has to be comforted by Floyd when Animal began almost sobbing when Floyd was (fake) killed (or almost bulldozing Teeth because of that…)

- Other behind the curtain bits are Kermit holding back Ms. Piggy after a scene, or Fozzie trying to get a major role in the picture show and just being shut down by the criminologists.

- No one knew what kind of costumes the others would be wearing, they just knew their characters, and scripts, and were given their own costumes and was told by someone (Kermit and maaaybe Deadly) to keep them a surprise from the others.

- Cue the Electric Mayhem almost gawking at the sight of Dr. Teeth doing drag.

- But seriously everyone fucking applauded Deadly for the fashion work after the stage show i just know it

- Constantine will be a very recurring cameo, sneaking onto the show to take over the muppets once again and hoping to be more than just a weakling to the eyes of the audience (and the muppets), but just ends up vibing along to the song, by then the moment he is kicked out, he actually wants back in, but insists it’s only for world domination of the play.

- Same for Lips & Zoot, don’t ask why, but I like the idea that considering they’re the only two of the EM that don’t get major roles, that they sometimes just intrude in and just improvise or observe the actions of the others.

- In general though, besides the recurring cameos, i would love to have different cameos from even the original or even the remake Rocky Horror shows, or just random cameos in general!

- AUDIENCE PROMPTS!! Only some of them will be changed to fit more of the adult yet kid friendly sort of style, like whenever Piggy is shown, it won’t be the s-word, it’ll be something like ‘PIG!’, it goes to the point that Floyd is just. heard on the right side of your ear screaming that word whenever Piggy is shown or even speaks, and Kermit has to stop her from literally throat chopping the bassman.

- LOTS of cultural and meta references with this as well, we have behind the curtain segments for this reason.

- Still going to keep a lot of the mature themes for the muppets, it’s what Jim Henson would’ve wanted… maybe not the nazi parts though or the rapey parts or the transphobic parts, I feel uncomfortable with that.

Aaand that’s all! If you have any suggestions, please feel free to reblog and share your own opinions! See ya!

#the muppets #muppets #muppets mayhem #i guess #i don’t know electric mayhem and some point beats are borrowed here #rocky horror picture show #rocky horror show #semi-accurate muppets #rated m for muppets #and smex #queercoding is for the weak (me)

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