#also they only lasted 24 hours so it was temporary I wish posts had that feature

[winniebell]

how dumb do I be with my tik tok posting?

[random0lover]

Her Past Is Their Torture

Pairing: Simon "Ghost" Riley x GN!reader

Word Count: 1.3k

Warnings: Angst/No Comfort (yet), SFW, talk of death, readers fake funeral is mentioned, fake identity is mentioned, healing wound referenced, A gun is mentioned one time, words "terrorist group" is used once, nothing to serious!

Things to know: reader themself is never referenced looks wise so this is POC friendly! Also if you decide to follow me after reading, READ MY PINNED POST, thank you ♡

Notes: I wrote this in 3 hours after not writing anything for a while, so I hope this is okay! This somehow is getting turned into a mini-series, but I cannot make any promises on how fast each part will come out, but it will be a happy ending!! Kind of proof read but not really so sorry for any errors <3

Part 1 Part 2 (You’re here!)

You were not supposed to be alive. Your heart had stopped while you were lying in the arms of the man you loved but somehow you were alive sneaking your way through the base that you used to call home. 

Today was the day of your funeral, a month after the incident, you knew it would be your only chance to make it onto base to grab a few of your main keepsakes from your room, and no matter how bad of an idea it was, you wanted to stop in Simon’s room one last time. 

Laswell didn't know you were here as far as she knew you were on your way to pick up everything to complete your temporary new identity. A 24-year-old from the States wanting to get some traveling in after completing nursing school before going back home to start their job as an ER nurse. Enough information to satisfy anyone that wanted to have a chat but nothing that would be too memorable. 

Kate was the first person you saw after you woke up in a room that was decorated with floral designs that reminded you of the worn couch that sat in your grandmother's living room until the day she passed away. She told you that your getting shot that night wasn’t a coincidence and that the same people you've spent the last few years running from were once again coming after you.

 Before you became part of Task Force 141 you had previously been part of a different unit, one that now has no evidence of existing after a mission that went haywire. You had all been tasked to eradicate a terrorist group that had supposedly made threats to multiple governments not knowing that you were not the first unit being sent in, that it was a death wish going after them. You and your captain had been the only ones to survive at first until four months later you woke in the middle of the night to a frantic phone call from him saying that they were going to come for you next, the sound of a shotgun being cocked, then the line went dead. Not ten minutes later you had packed a bag and were getting ready to go out the backdoor when you heard your front door being kicked in, if it hadn't been for your captain making that call you would've been dead too.

From that day you spent two years running, going everywhere from China to The United States, to Poland, to Japan, anywhere you could hide until Kate had you staying in the UK which is when she introduced you to Captain John Price and you officially became part of task force 141. Price was the only one that knew your full story until you told Simon but you never got the chance to tell him that you might have to keep running one day. That the people that were after you would only show up to try and kill you to then disappear without a trace until they decided to come after you again.

You had become too comfortable, too hopeful that they were not going to come after you again, that maybe it was all over but the healing bullet wound in your side states otherwise.

You shake your head to get out of your thoughts and continue to make your way through the base while keeping your head down.

~~**~~

This morning you had watched to make sure all of the task force members had left so that you didn't risk running into any of them. You had already been to your room making sure to grab the necklace Soap and Gaz had gifted you on your birthday last year, the little notebook Soap would doodle in when he would sit in your room with you, the t-shirt you had stolen from Simon’s closet, and a coffee mug that Price had jokingly given you that said “dad’s favorite”. 

You knew it was all pointless stuff but the little things had always meant the most to you especially when it was things that people that were as close to family as you'll get had given you.

Walking through the men's barracks would not be a good idea usually but today they were mostly barren for obvious reasons. You quickly made it to Simon’s room having to resist stopping in Gaz’s room and staying focused. Oddly enough the door was unlocked but you didn’t think much of it, mainly just thanking the stars that you got lucky enough that he forgot.

You make your way into the room gently shutting the door behind you and move until you're standing beside his bed closing your eyes for a moment taking a deep breath, taking in the smell of pine and cedar mixed with notes of vanilla and a small hint of smoke. 

You open your eyes and finally let your eyes drift across the room. The room itself is completely clean not a thing out of place almost as if it hadn't been touched since the morning before that last mission what catches your attention though is the small desk in the corner that is currently the dirtiest you've ever seen it, covered in a few stacks of paperwork, mugs that have dried-out tea bags in them, and not so shockingly your file. It was sitting on top of everything else but you could tell from the creases and a few dirt stains in the manilla folder that it had been opened multiple times and maybe even thrown or dropped a few times. 

You feel in your pocket for the folded note that you had written the night before and pull it out. You stare at it for a moment before opening the folder and sliding it in between some papers at the bottom of the stack hoping that he’ll find it. As soon as you close the folder you hear some voices coming down the hallway and make your way towards his closed closet waiting to see if you’ll need to hide. You hear the voice fade and let out the breath you were holding until you see the door handle turning and frantically throw yourself into the closet hiding behind his clothes and trying to shut the door.

Simon comes into your view for a moment and you see him looking around the room, you hear him let out a sigh before taking a deep breath and you see his body go rigid, you freeze hoping he didn’t hear you, and hear him sniff again almost as if he smells something weird. He turns towards the closet and you can see his eyes settle on the door, you want to slap yourself for not making sure to close it all the way and suck in a breath as he takes a step forward reaching out to open the door but before he can you hear his door open again.

“You got that file you were looking for Lt.?” Soap asks from the doorway.

Simon looks at the closet door one more time before turning to the desk and grabbing the file, “Yeah Johnny, let’s go.” 

You wait in the closet for another five minutes before you decide that it’s safe to venture out and quickly make your exit, locking the door behind you before you sneak off base. 

As soon as you reach your car the burner phone that was in the center console starts ringing the screen saying ‘GREEN’ in big bold letters meaning that it’s Kate. You pull out the phone and answer it while starting the car. “Where are you? You were supposed to be here twenty minutes ago.”

 “I'm almost there Kate, I’ll be there soon. Promise.” You sigh before hanging up.

Hi my lovelies, I hope you enjoyed the second part to Open Wounds and War Paint! Feedback is appreciated but not necessary. As always I hope you have a great day/night. &lt;3

As of right now I have a few requests, but requests are open! I cannot promise when or if I will write them, but I do prefer requests that are slightly more specific as I find them easier to write but it's not required. Thanks for reading my darlings! ♡

[mdianasims]

There currently are 7 contestants, which means the minimum has been reached! Woo!

There are still 5 spots left, so feel free to submit a Sim! I would like them filled, because I meticulously planned a challenge based on 12 contestants.

As for timing, real life* has been rather busy lately, so I might (have to) extend the deadline again. Know that I am really grateful for all the amazing people who have submitted (or are going to submit) their incredibly lovely Sims. Seeing them and reading their bios really makes me want to start - but I can't start with a half finished house... So please be patient, I'll get there, because I truly am excited about this project/adventure/challenge. I also intended to post a pre-challenge/teaser post like the two I did last week (or was it the week before?), but I've barely had time for that, let alone build. Hence the banner above this post and not an actual picture. And I'm already half an hour past my (self-imposed) weekday screentime curfew (although, today, I only used the computer for adulting before making this post).

Longer real life explanation under the cut (everything's fine, just busy).

Real life has all positive, yet somewhat (or a little more than somewhat) scary, developments. I've been in the process of building a new house the past few years. After going from plan A, to plan B, to plan C, we're currently at plan D. And well into it. We got the planning permit (is that what it's called? anyway, the piece of paper that says you're allowed to build and costs a small fortune) in Spring. And now, past the Summer holidays, stuff is really starting to happen. Which I sort of knew, so having to postpone the bachelor challenge is definitely a case of poor (or should I say reckless?) planning on my side.

So, last week we heard our temporary home, which is a (somewhat) moveable unit, would be coming today. Which meant re-arranging some (or maybe a lot of) fencing. Which took a lot of time and caused a lot of sore muscles. But, the unit is here. And not usable, because it's not connected to the utilities. And that might take another month or two... At least there will be plenty of time for sorting out stuff and downsizing. My entire childhood came down from the attic, so there's a lot of memories I still need to sort through. Which is fun, but also mentally exhausting.

In the meantime I have my incredibly boring job that drains all my energy. And because of that I have career coaching that also takes a lot of mental energy. I'm trying to find a way to balance things, and I think I'm making some tiny form of progress. The balance is still off, but not as much as before.

But overall, it's just a lot. Doing things like simming, or playing another game I really enjoy would really help. But there are only 24 hours in a day and I do need sleep.

In short, real life consists of more adulting than I'd like, lots of decision making, mentally draining things and spending investing large sums of money (which is scary). I really wish reality was more like the Sims. I just need to sell al my amateurish paintings, then pop in to build mode, build my dream home and return to live mode. So much easier!

[knamjooned]

Frosty Seduction

pairing: WinterSpirit!Namjoon x Human!reader genre: Fantasy AU, Christmas AU, Smut, Crack, Fluff. tiny bit of Angst words: 16K+ warning: making out, flirting, oral (m and f), fingering, cold (ice?) play, light dirty talk, masturbation, semi-public sex, making love, creampie, 

author’s notes: hey so this has been in the works for a long time! I want to thanks @uwugalore​ for accepting me into my first collaboration. i met some awesome writers. also, i have never been this invested in a story as this one. usually i just write and then post, but this one was beta’d AND edited, so that’s ....a big change lol. I hope you enjoy it!

part of the 25 Days of BTS Christmas collaboration

Summary: You want to spend this Christmas enjoying the moment without stress. You find a beautiful snowglobe that may lead you to your wish being granted by a mischievous winter spirit.

If kisses were snowflakes, I’d send you a blizzard.

Everything about the holiday season made you feel good, like everything was alright in the world. Strings of lights glowing brightly in the evening as the sun went down; the smell of delicious treats wafting all around you; the taste of a peppermint hot mocha on your tongue; the sounds of Christmas music playing in various shops. Your favorite part was wrapping the presents you would exchange on Christmas morning with your family and your boyfriend’s family, your heart filled with love as they got a look at what you hoped was the best gift ever.

Unfortunately, this year seemed to have taken a wrong turn and landed you in the opposite mood you usually felt at this time of year. Christmas Eve was only a week away. The only thing you had in your apartment was a decorated Christmas tree. You had finished it while your boyfriend still wanted to be with you at the beginning of the month. A few days after that, he apologetically stated that he wasn't ‘feeling it anymore’ and you hadn’t heard from him since. That spurred on a case of the holiday blues, so you hadn’t been in the mood to put up your beloved decorations.

It didn’t help that your family was out of the country, enjoying a tropical vacation your parents had won at a bingo game. Your sister and her husband had gone with them, a late honeymoon they said. Unfortunately, you couldn’t afford to tag along with your income, so it also turned out you didn’t have family to comfort you through all of this. Still, that didn’t mean you couldn’t try to finish your usual routine of wrapping presents.

That’s what led you to this new antique store on the other side of town. Your mother and sister both enjoyed old jewelry, postcards, and first edition books, while your father was a fan of collecting old pens and silverware. This new shop seemed to be a treasure trove of gifts you knew your family would love. You might even be able to find a gift for your brother-in-law, although you weren’t entirely sure what exactly he’d like from here.

After spending more time than you thought you would, wandering through the aisles, you had found at least two gifts per family member and were on your way to the checkout counter. As the bell rang over the door to signal more customers, you looked toward the sound and were distracted by an item sitting among christmas tree ornaments. You changed your direction and ended up next to the table, crouched down, studying the inside of the snowglobe. 

It was a lovely setting, a picturesque winter wonderland, with a few generic one-story homes, a park area, a street, and some kind of store. The small figurines scattered across the scene depicted a happy family sledding in the park, a young couple decorating a christmas tree in one of the yards, and a young man leaning against the wall of the shop. The bell over the door ringing pulled you out of your thoughts, and you glanced over to see a young woman with a toddler in her arms, asking if there was a bathroom. You felt a soft smile pull at your lips as you turned back toward the snowglobe.

Frowning, you stared at the scene in front of you. Something was different, but you couldn’t put your finger on it. You looked over the setting, then the figurines in the fake snow. It hit you after a moment of staring at the shop. The figurine of the young man you were sure was there before wasn’t there now. Standing up quickly, you swallowed down panicked thoughts. After a moment of taking deep breaths, you let out a quiet chuckle. All this stress was going to make you lose your mind if you weren’t careful.

Without another thought, you picked up the snowglobe and purchased it with your other items. This little gift was for yourself.

It wasn’t until two days later you found time to wrap the gifts you bought for your family. After a long eight hour day at your temporary customer service holiday job, the idea of sitting down with a cup of hot chocolate, with soft Christmas tunes playing in the background, was the only thing keeping you from passing out from exhaustion. You sat near your window, on a pillow, a video of a fireplace on your television. The only lights were those on the Christmas tree and a handful of candles on your coffee table, along with street lights shining through your window. 

Six different kinds of wrapping paper sat next to you on the floor, along with a pile of tape you seemed to always have lying around. The gifts were laid out next to the tape pile. On the coffee table next to the candles was the snowglobe you had purchased. As you carefully wrapped each item and sipped at your hot beverage, you found yourself glancing toward coffee table. Nothing seemed out of place in the globe, although you felt silly even thinking about it. Even as you chuckle to yourself, placing the last piece of tape on the second gift, you saw something shift out of the corner of your eye.

Immediately, your gaze fell onto the snowglobe, eyes wide as you waited for something to happen again. Slowly, you sat down the wrapped present, and crawled toward the globe on the coffee table. When you were only inches away, with it eye level, you stared into the glass. Something was off once again, and it only took you a second to pick out it out. The young man who had disappeared from in front of the shop had appeared, sitting on the bench in the park, looking upwards. You scrabbled back, gasping as you fell on your ass, almost making a mess of your carefully arranged wrapping station.

“I need a drink.” Blowing out a big breath, you stood and made your way toward the kitchen. As you passed the window, you saw a shooting star. You stopped and turned for a moment, looking out the window and up at the sky.

“I wish I may, I wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight. I wish my Christmas will be stress free for 24 hours with someone who enjoys Christmas as much as me.” With a wistful sigh, you turn away from the window and head toward the kitchen once again, where you knew you’d find one of your favorite cocktail ingredients.

Ever since the snow globe had been brought into your home, Namjoon had been fascinated. You seemed to be having a difficult time, which was unfortunate during the holidays. Finally, though, he saw you start to become much more cheerful. It made his frosty heart warm when he saw you smile as you wrapped the gifts. Because of the magical aura surrounding the snow globe, Namjoon knew there were four full days until Christmas Eve. He amused himself by sitting on the bench in the park, watching you wrap with purpose. You stuck out the tip of your tongue as you concentrated at making just the right crease. 

Without thinking anything of it, Namjoon looked up, feeling the magic of falling stars coming close. Tonight was a special night, apparently. When he heard you moving toward the globe, he froze in place, looking up at the curvature of the glass, as you studied the scene. He felt your eyes on him, trying not to laugh as you scrambled back and your butt hit the floor. Only when you were distracted by the star finally falling did he relax and look toward you once more. He stood and walked close to the glass, close enough to touch it, and listened to you speak to the star. As you finished your wish, he felt his heart grow warmer than it had ever been.

Namjoon knew, without a doubt, it was his job to make your wish come true. He ran toward the shop, bursting through the plastic door that was made to look like wood, startling the short, stout shopkeeper. Namjoon sheepishly grinned as the elder elf jumped at the sound of the door opening, hitting his head on the shelf above the one he was stocking with Christmas decorations. Grumbling to himself, the shopkeeper rubbed the top of his head as he shuffled toward the winter spirit.

“Santa’s Bells, Namjoon, you scared me! What has you up in a tizzy,” Sowon huffed, wincing as he came to stand near the counter. He was two feet shorter than Namjoon, with a bushy white beard, pointed ears, and wire-framed glasses on his nose. The spot he was rubbing on his head was bald, although bright red now.

“I want to decorate the park.” The old elf stared up at him, blinking his eyes. After a long moment, Sowon frowned, arms crossed in front of him.

“What,” he asked, confused. “What do you mean, decorate the park? We don’t do that.”

“Why not?”

“We don’t. This place... it’s the way it is.”

“Okay. I hear you. But what if… we decorate the park,” Namjoon insisted, gesturing toward the decorations that lined the shop shelves. In all the time he’s been here, nothing left the shelves. It was part of the curse of being in the snow globe - nothing changed. Now, though, he had a purpose, a reason to change the status quo.

Sowon stared at him a few seconds longer, eyes narrowing as he studied him. Namjoon felt the judgement rolling over him, his excitement over his plan declining with each passing moment. His upturned lips slowly fell into a frown, his shoulders slumping. Sowon let out a sigh, a sympathetic look in his eyes.

“Look, young spirit, I understand. But, the gods have put us here for a reason. We need to fulfill our duties, serve our penalty.” He reached up and patting Namjoon on his arm. “This is what we are, what we have.”

Dejected, Namjoon sighed heavily as Sowon shuffled away, moving toward another shelf to restock for no other reason than routine. While the elder elf was busy, though, Namjoon’s lips slid upward in a smile once again. A plan worked in his mind, and he quickly acted on it. He made his footsteps silent with what little magic he had, grabbed a large container of tinsel and round ornaments, and scrambled away.

Sowon sputtered and called out his name as he ran out the door, eyes wide with shock.

Retail work during the holidays was made for those who had strong wills. Unfortunately, you were hanging on by a thread by the time you made it home after a long seven hour shift. The day had been filled with nothing but stressers: children running around screaming, parents acting like the world would end if they didn’t get that toy, and a sleazy coworker who hadn’t stopped bitching about Christmas the whole time. 

When you entered your residence, you let out a groan of frustration as you slumped onto your couch. You went limp, letting the cushions support your aching body. You looked toward the snowglobe on your coffee table tiredly, ready to fall asleep right where you were. You stared at the area where the park was put, the tiny, coloring round ornaments making the scene more festive. You narrowed your eyes as you remembered….

The trees hadn’t had any ornaments this morning.

“What the fuck,” you cried, putting the palms of your hands against your eyes. “The universe really wants to screw with my head!” 

You forced yourself to stand from the comfortable couch, knowing you needed a shower. It would help wash away the aches and pains of your day, along with giving you time to rationalize the difference in scenery once again in the snowglobe.

Namjoon grinned with glee as he looked over the trees in the park across the street from his house. He held onto a mug of hot apple cider, imagining how you’d react to the new development. Absentmindedly, he sipped at his drink, then flinched, making a face. Using his ice cold breath, he blew on it lightly, hoping to cool it enough to be able to drink. He took another sip and sighed, wrinkling his nose. It was cold now, which didn’t taste as good. Still, he drank it, not wanting to waste the magic he had used to make this. As he stared out the window, he heard the bells on his christmas tree jingle in a gentle breeze. Frowning, he turned, knowing it hadn’t come from outside. When Namjoon saw who it was, he gulped and put down his mug on the window sill. 

Straightening his back, he bowed his head slightly, then kept his eyes down. Namjoon had already gotten on their bad sides, pissing off the winter god today wasn’t on his list of things to do.

“Uh… hey, Boreas, how’s it going?” He tried to keep his tone light, but Namjoon knew it was a serious issue when the personification of winter appeared to him. He licked his lips nervously.

“You know why I’m here,” he responded, his gruff voice sounding tired. The personification looked like what the humans would call Old Man Winter. He was a mix between Santa Claus and Dumbledore, with long white hair and beard. 

“Is this about the park decorations,” Namjoon asked innocently. Still, he didn’t look Boreas in the eye. 

“You can’t just change the snowglobe. The human thinks she is losing her mind, Namjoon.” Boreas took a step toward him, and he lifted his eyes finally. He was surprised to see the god with a tiny smile on his lips. Namjoon’s mood perked up.

“But…? There’s a but, isn’t there.” Namjoon felt a smile coming out his lips. Boreas pinched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes and letting out an annoyed sigh. He chuckled, though, as he looked back toward Namjoon. 

“You’ve been a good spirit, serving your time well, without incident.” Namjoon shifted bashfully on his feet, looking pleased. Did this mean he was done? Boreas seemed to read his mind, continuing. “Because of the seriousness of your crimes, your time has not been considered completely served. But, it seems the Fates have found this situation to be amusing.”

“Okay… what does that mean?” Namjoon started to lose his patience, waiting for the old man to tell him what the hell was happening now.

“This human, it seems, made a wish the Fates think you can help grant.”

Namjoon blinked, frowning for a moment. A wish? His eyes widened and his mouth opened in surprise as he remembered the wish you had made at the window two days ago. A huge smile come to his lips, realizing his instincts had been right.

The first major snow of the season fell heavily outside your window. Snuggled deep into your bed, with a heavy blanket and freshly washed pillows, you dozed comfortably.

You sat on a bench in a park, the trees decorated with spherical ornaments and strings of lights. The sweater you were wearing was knitted, with an overexaggerated face of a reindeer on the front. Your feet were warm in snow boots, with jeans tucked into them. Your dream outfit was exactly what you would wear during the holidays.

Beside you sat a figure. You felt their eyes on your face. Turning your head to the side, you caught their gaze, the plush lips pulling into a smile, revealing deep dimples, one on each cheek. His skin had a blue tint to it, almost like he was perpetually cold. You felt yourself smiling back, heart beating fast and butterflies fluttering in your stomach. It had been a while since you felt the emotions of a new romance.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it? I did it for you.” His voice was almost sheepish and unsure. His eyes flitted away nervously as he played with his own fingers. 

“It is. I love it. Thank you,” you assured him, reaching out and putting a hand on top of his clasped ones. His skin was chilled, but it didn’t bother you at all. You squeezed his hand. “I needed to see the beauty of the holidays, the love and happiness I haven’t been feeling lately.”

“I know,” he replied, frowning. He unclasped his hands and turned one palm up. You intertwined your fingers, holding his hand. His gentle grip seemed to lift some of the darkness inside your mind, helping the holiday cheer slide into its spot. “I’m sorry you’re feeling so sad. The holidays were your favorite time of the year, but then all this sorrow was brought about.”

“I don’t want to think about that, not here, not now. Tell me, what’s your name? Why are you here? Why am I here?” Your hand was still within his, and you had no desire to release it. This dreamworld was almost perfect, this blue-tinted man smiling beautifully at you. His eyes brightened at your requests. He leaned forward, his face close to yours.

“I’m Namjoon, a winter spirit. This is my home. And I think you’re here because the Fates know you need some cheering up. And I’m the one who will do it the best.” He shrugged, his words confident. His voice lowered, his cool, minty breath playing over your cheeks. “Anything you want, you can have it.”

You stared into his light blue eyes, shining with amusement. You knew, instinctively, that his words were true. Anything you wanted, Namjoon would give it to you. After a long moment of staring, he leaned closer still and brushed his lips against yours. When he pulled back, the his smile had turned into an ‘o’ of surprise, eyes wide. You licked your lips and leaned forward for another kiss, his pull too strong to resist. He straightened, shyly pulling away, let out a nervous chuckle, and let go of your hand.

“Namjoon?”

“Bora is coming with her sled, see, over there?” Namjoon pointed to a spot behind you, and you turned your body to look. 

A family was coming towards you, a young girl dragging an old wood and metal sled. She marched happily a few steps in front of her parents. The woman waved toward Namjoon, and he responded with a flick of his wrist. The man nodded with a smile, and Namjoon repeated the gesture back. The family ignored you and started to get ready to use the sled.

You turned back to him, knowing the intimate moment was broken. Still, you grinned at him, happy to be in his presence, pleased to have his bright eyes looking at you like you were the most beautiful creature he had ever seen. 

“It’s time for you to go,” Namjoon sighed, his grin falling into a pout. “I’ll see you soon, though, I promise.” Hesitantly, he lifted his hand toward your face. You leaned forward, silently giving him permission to touch you. Namjoon cupped your cheek, his hands ice cold but not unpleasant. “I shouldn’t have done that, I’m sorry.”

Before you could respond, he pulled back and your eyes closed slowly.

When you faded from the bench, Namjoon let out a heavy sigh, squeezing his eyes shut. He slouched on the bench, leaning back and let his head fall back. He knew if he opened his eyes, he’d see the curvature of the globe, but he didn’t want to be reminded of his prison at the moment. The laughter of Bora and her family was normal, but the pounding in his ears was not. His heart was echoing in his head, his mind unable to erase the feeling of your lips against his. They were warm, a strange feeling against his own lips. He wanted to feel them again, the heat once more.

“Fudge,” he murmured, eyes finally opening. He stood up and walked past the family, who sent him a wave. He didn’t see them, too focused on what had happened to wave back. Namjoon entered his home, absentmindedly wandered to the couch in front of the fireplace, and stared into the magical flames.

Why are you here?

Namjoon swallowed as he suddenly felt shame for his actions. It had been a long time ago, although not long enough for a god to forget. He had moved forward, understanding the reasons why he was here. Namjoon understood the effect his past actions had on humans, and he felt regretful of the outcome. He had never felt shame before, though. He didn’t want you to be disappointed when you found out, which was a weird thought in itself.

When he was an even younger winter spirit, he enjoyed fluttering around with his brethren, the famous Frost family, helping Boreas bring in the winter season, making those intricate designs on windows out of frost for those who loved them. Being second to the Frost family in terms of Boreas’ favor, though, had always been a point of bitterness between the other winter beings. 

To prove he was good enough to be on the same level as Jack Frost, Namjoon had decided to go off on his own and bring holiday cheer to a nearby town. Unfortunately, his own confidence had wrought his own hubris: causing his powers to inflate to the point of being uncontrollable. 

“Nope,” he murmurs to himself, jumping up. “Can’t think about that. Hot chocolate? Hot chocolate! That’s what I’ll do. Hot chocolate and reading!”

He scurried toward his kitchen, almost like he was running from something. And, in a way, he was.

The morning of the day before Christmas Eve, you talked to your vacationing family through video chat, putting on a large smile and waving away any concerns they might have had. You wore your favorite sweater, red with Santa’s face on it, and showed off your Christmas tree. You also teased the gifts you had placed under the tree, which they would open in a few days after they got back. You started your morning in a relatively good mood, the dream from the night before causing you to laugh at yourself, but speaking with your family reminded you how alone you were at this moment.

Taking a deep breath, you placed your phone on the coffee table, picked up the snowglobe in your hands, and sat on the couch. You looked into the globe, shaking it, then watching the fake snow fall onto the cheerful scenery. You had been in the park of the globe in your dream, the little family sledding appearing as well. The bench you had sat on was empty, not that you were expecting anything to be there. It was almost hypnotizing, the fake white flakes falling slowly, soothing the clouds in your mind. 

You forced yourself to leave your apartment during the day. Many shops were closed, but you knew of one place that was always open: the local shelter. You enjoyed visiting from time to time, especially during the holidays, where you would have pleasant conversations and stories with the residents. You arrived and started to undo all of your snow gear, scarf, hat, gloves, coat, and even your sweater. The building was toasty warm.

“Oh, it’s Miss Holiday Cheer, herself!” shouted a man in the corner, near the decorated tree, who you recognized as a regular. He was a struggling widower, who had trouble with alcohol until about three years ago. He had lived here for a time, and now came by to keep the current residents hopeful.

“Good afternoon, Nelson. You’re looking handsome, today.” 

You spent a couple hours there, the gray skies inside your head dissipating little by little. The sun was sinking below the horizon as you entered your apartment once again. The intense feeling of loneliness beared down on your shoulders, making you groan. You took a deep breath and blew it out, like you were blowing away the heaviness, and went to get yourself a drink. Settling on the couch with your favorite alcoholic beverage, you found yourself looking into the snowglobe in front of you, the fake snow falling as if it had just been shaken. 

“Merry Christmas,” you murmur, lifting your glass up before taking a drink.

A clock chimed in the back of your dreams, officially starting Christmas Eve. One. Two. Three…. It was almost too quiet to hear, but the clock stopped making any sound after the twelfth chime. You stayed in your dream world as snow began to fall on your covered body. If you had been awake, you would have noticed it was not cold, but simple plastic that lightly floated down. 

The room filled with soft blue light, the fake snow falling without leaving a trace on the floor. It became heavier and heavier, until nothing could be seen in your room.

Blinking quickly, you sat up, confused, as you turned your head this way and that. It took a moment to recognize the trees covered in ornaments and lights. The last time you had seen them, it had been a sunny, beautiful day. Now, though, it was dark, the only light coming from the streetlights that followed the road toward a handful of houses. You realized your butt was on something hard. Looking down, you were once again on the bench. 

“Back in the dream,” you murmured to yourself, patting the wood. When you heard snow crunching, you turned to look behind you. Grinning, you held up a hand, waving toward Namjoon.

“You’re here! Actually here! This is fantastic.” He jogged throw the snow without any hesitation, stopping in front of you with his hand held out. His skin was blue-tinted, just like the other dream, but his cheeks had a tinge of purple. He almost looked flushed. “Come with me. I promise to make your wish come true.”

As you took his hand, you realized you were in your pajamas, blue and white snowflakes all over the cotton long sleeved top and bottom pants. Last time you were here, you had been decked out in all the holiday swag, ugly sweater and all. Now, though, it seemed your mind went completely casual. Namjoon tugged at your arm, happily gesturing his head toward the rows of houses down the street. You let him lead you toward them, running up the steps and into the second house. His hand stayed clasped around yours as he closed the door behind both of you. 

“So, this is your place, Namjoon,” you asked, glancing around as you pulled your hand away. 

You spun in a circle slowly. It had a cozy cabin feel to the inside, with a small living room and kitchen attached, with a set of stairs in the far corner that led up to what you assumed was a loft. You were going to comment on the scenery, but you remembered something he had said before you followed him here. “My wish?” 

You turned toward him once again.

“Yeah, you’re wish.” 

He seemed a little nervous, with his hands in the pocket of his jeans. He glanced around before his gaze landed back onto you. He sent you a crooked, bashful smile. “You wanted to spend Christmas Eve stress free, with someone who loves Christmas as much as you.”

You opened your mouth to say something, but then you shut it. How did he know? This was a dream, though, so it made a little bit of sense. Your mind giving you what you wanted, maybe? You stepped closer to Namjoon, catching his gaze and putting a hand on his arm. He sent you a relieved smile and lifted his other arm, palm up. As you watched with wide eyes, a frosty mist swirled above his palm, the ice crystals hardening into a shape. When he was finished, Namjoon raised the ice rose to face level.

“Will you allow me to share Christmas Eve with you?”

He waited patiently, his dimples framing a small smile. You slid your hand down his arm, keeping your eyes on his, and took his hand. The small smile turned into a large grin as you used your other hand to take the ice rose from his. The stem was cold to your touch, but it didn’t bother you. Surprisingly, a rose-liked scent wafted from the petals. 

“I think I’d like that,” you replied in a low voice, mirroring his grin.

Namjoon could barely breathe, the excitement of you consenting to staying with him for twenty-four hours almost overwhelming. He wanted to press a kiss onto your lips as soon as you said it, but held himself back. After telling you the ice rose wouldn’t melt without him doing it himself, you sat it down on a small table in front of a fireplace. He wanted to show you the wardrobe room, so he pulled you up the stairs and into the loft. There was a door on the back wall, in the middle, and he flung it open, spreading his arms proudly.

“Anything you want to wear, it’s here. It’s magic. Think it, and it’ll appear. Would you like to change?” Namjoon looked over your adorable outfit. He didn’t care what you wore, you were a beautiful human, but he wanted you to be comfortable with him.

“Really,” you asked, eyebrows raised. “Anything?”

“Absolutely.”

He stood at the door as he watched you stride into the room. It was bigger on the inside, with clothes hanging on either side of you. Crossing his arms, Namjoon leaned against the doorframe as you fluttered around the room. You looked so excited, with a giddy grin and a bounce in your step. What would you pick? Namjoon was curious, but was completely surprised when you stopped in the middle of the room and closed your eyes. Frowning, he took a step forward, but saw the clothing you were wearing started to glow.

A red velvet dress appeared on your body, the skirt ending above your knees. The edges of the garment had white puffy material, and your collarbones showed pleasantly. A santa hat appeared on your head, and black heeled boots appeared on your legs, stopped at the knees.

“What do you think? Fits the season, right?” 

You posed, turning back and forth, looking down at yourself.

“It’s stunning,” he replied, his voice catching. He cleared his throat, feeling his body flush unusually. He felt the heat blooming from the top of his head down to his feet, and everywhere in between. His heart beat furiously, which seemed to be a common occurrence around you. 

“Cookies and hot chocolate? On the table downstairs, in front of the fireplace.” As he smiled, Namjoon used a thumb to gesture over his shoulder.

“Yes, please!” you cried, running past him and down the stairs. He followed, chuckling. As soon as you were both settled onto the couch, Namjoon positioned himself so he could look at you, turning his body so he sat sideways on the couch. You mirrored his pose, ignoring the treats on the table as you stared at him. 

“Why are you staring at me like that?”

“You’re kind of purple.”

“What?” 

Namjoon frowned, looking down at his hands. His blue-tinted skin had a tiny bit of pink mixed into it. “Huh. That’s never happened before.”

“You’re blushing. Do you like my outfit that much?” 

Namjoon looked back at you, smirking back at him. He swallowed thickly as the skirt of your dress slid up as you wiggled a bit on the couch. His eyes stayed on your exposed thighs as he spoke. 

“You seem very relaxed. Am I helping grant your wish?” Namjoon placed his hands on his knees, squeezing tightly, to keep from reaching out and caressing the soft skin of your legs. He couldn’t turn his gaze away, almost hoping the skirt would move upward further.

“Yes,” you murmured. He lifted his gaze to your face again.

“You’re really breathtaking,” he whispered, using your name. 

“Is it against the rules if I kiss you?” 

Your question made his breath catch and eyes widen. Namjoon shook his head slowly back and forth, but not really knowing the answer. He suddenly realized he’d do anything to be able to kiss you right now. “Okay, good, cause I’m going to kiss you.”

You leaned forward without hesitation, sure of what you wanted. This was a dream, anything could happen, right? Reaching out, you grabbed Namjoon’s sweater and brought him closer. Tilting your head, you kissed him. He responded immediately, a hand rising to cup your cheek as his lips moved. His other hand moved to your calf, slowly sliding upward. A sigh fell from your lips as Namjoon’s large, cool hand squeezed your thigh. His tongue brushed against your bottom lip, and you nipped at it. Namjoon pulled away with his eyebrows raised.

“It’s going to be like that,” he murmured, his thumb brushing against your kiss swollen lips. He pressed a chaste kiss to your lips, then stood, taking his hands off you. You frowned and looked up to him, confused. His eyes had darkened and his playful grin had turned into a devious smirk. He reached out, and you left Namjoon position you so you were sitting forward on the couch, with your legs spread open. The short skirt left little to the imagination as he knelt between your legs.

“It’s going to be like that,” you repeated back in a teasing tone. 

Breathlessly, you reached down and held onto the hem of your dress. Namjoon stared into your eyes as you slowly pulled the material up your legs, exposing more of your thighs. It was almost a competition to see who would look away first. You stopped moving your skirt when it barely covered the apex of your thighs. Namjoon’s jaw flexed as he took a deep breath, eyes still on yours. 

“Is this a power thing?” He chuckled, each hand moving to your thighs. He splayed each hand on your thighs. Your body shivered with anticipation, his fingers so close to your intimate area. His voice lowered. “What do you want, angel? Do you want to fight for power? Or do you want to pick a side? Either way, I’m looking forward to playing with you.”

Biting your lip, you pulled the hem of your skirt up over your hips, showing off your exposed slit. Apparently, the materializing of this dress hadn’t brought about underwear. 

“Make my wish come true,” you whispered, eyelids fluttering close as Namjoon’s hand flexed on your skin.

“It’s all I want to do,” you heard him breath, his thumb rubbing circles now. The coolness from his skin caused goosebumps to appear all over your body, but it also made your clit begin to ache. When his lips touched your left thigh, you jumped, sucking in a breath. His hand tightened to keep your leg still as he pressed a few more kisses, then raked his teeth against your skin. “I want to taste you, every part of you, angel.”

“Yes,” you whimpered. You kept your eyes shut, enjoying the sensations of touch as his lips, teeth, and hands pressed against you. “Will you touch me? I want your fingers….”

“Be patient,” Namjoon chuckled, his breath only inches from your opening. Without realizing it, your thighs spread wider, opening you further in front of him. He groaned, gripping your thighs tightly. “Want my fingers where?” he asked, voice heavy with lust.

“Inside,” you replied hurriedly, eyes opening to look down at him. His skin was more purple than ever before, which confirmed he was as flushed and heated as you were. Your hem was fisted in your hand at your waist. “I really like your hands…”

“And I really like you.” He trailed his first finger up toward your opening, watching your face as he slowly rubbed against your opening. A yelp fell from your lips, the ice cold digit a surprise, although you should have known. He squeezed with his other hand, still holding your leg, and pressed a kissed right next to his hand. “Does the cold bother you?”

“No, it actually feels really good,” you gasped as he kept moving his finger from top to bottom. After a moment, he pressed a thumb against your clit, moving in a slow circle. One finger pressed against your opening, then slipped inside. Your slippery walls took him in without hesitation, causing you both to groan.

“Fuck, angel, you’re so warm… but you’re also trembling.” Pulling his finger out, you almost whimpered but stopped when he slid it back inside. Moaning, you threw your head back against the couch and reached out one hand to fall into his hair. His soft, short, brown hair tangled in your fingers as you squirmed under his scrutiny. Thighs shaking, you lifted your hips to match his slow rhythm. “Am I making you feel good? Is that why you’re shaking? Do my fingers feel good inside you?” As he said this, Namjoon slid another finger inside, stretching you further. His thumb continued to work your sensitive nub, arousal starting to leak from you. 

“Jesus, Namjoon,” you breathed, watching his lips turn into a smile. His eyes moved between his fingers working you and your face.

“I wonder what you’ll taste like? I have no doubt you are delicious.” He let his gaze drop to look lovingly at your opening, his fingers dipping down to the last knuckle and pulling out. He turned his hand and curled his fingers upward, causing you to cry out. Your eyelids closed, making you miss out on his face moving close. When his tongue replaced his thumb against your clit, you shudder and tugged at his hair. He wrapped his lips around your nub, a groan rumbling from his chest. Moving his fingers faster, Namjoon sucked slowly, pulling back to probe the opening above his fingers. Your thighs twitched, and he held down one with his hand and one with his shoulder.

A warmth began to spread in your lower stomach, with his tongue and fingers probing inside. You moaned and whimpered, lifting your hips. He continued his assault, moving his fingers faster, breathing in your scent. 

“Fuck, you taste so good,” he rasped, pulling his face back for oxygen. Namjoon’s tongue roamed over his own lips, licking up your juices. His voice made the warmth turned into a blaze, but the fire died down slightly when his fingers pulled out. He lifted his fingers to his lips, licking with his eyes closed, a delighted moan escaping.

“Why’d you stop?” Unable to stop the pout on your lips, you made to close your thighs. Namjoon chuckled and prevented the action with his broad shoulders. 

“You are so fucking adorable with your lip pushed out like that, angel.” He leaned forward once again and pressed his lips against your slit. Your hands gripped his hair once again as his tongue dove deep inside, plunging over and over. Shuddering, you cried out loudly. Namjoon slid his hands under your ass, bringing you even closer to his mouth. He devoured you, causing you to fall into a sobbing mess as the fire begin to rage hotter and hotter inside you. 

“Oh god, don’t stop,” you repeated helplessly, held down by his shoulders and arms. Your fingers stayed tangled in his hair, like you were afraid he’d pull away.

“Come on my tongue, angel,” he growled, voice muffled. His raspy voice build the fire to the perfect peak, causing you to shudder and buck your hips into his face. Namjoon gradually slowed the movement of his tongue. Whimpering, your whole body trembled, spent but still pulsing with electricity. He finally pulled back, breathing heavily, grinning up at you and licking his lips once more. “You look tired, darling, let’s rest.”

“W-what?” you stuttered as Namjoon stood and sat next to you on the couch. He scooped you up with his arms and settling you across his lap. Automatically, your arms went around his neck and your face buried into his neck. The coolness of his skin was welcomed against your heated forehead. He rubbed your back, lips pressed against your head, as your body stopped trembling and your mind cleared. 

“You’re going to ask about my own pleasure,” Namjoon stated after a few moments of comfortable silence. You smiled against the skin of his neck and nuzzled it with your nose. A soft hum of enjoyment came from his lips as he squeezed you in return. “We have many more hours, I’m definitely not concerned.”

Namjoon reluctantly stood with you in his arms a few minutes after you fell asleep, your breathing gentle and calm. He carried you up the stairs and onto the loft, where his large bed sat in the far corner. As he laid you down carefully, he licked his lips, your taste still lingering on his tongue. He bit his lip to keep from groaning loudly, focusing on tucking you into bed. He took your boots off, then made sure the blankets were surrounding you with shaking hands.

He walked away before he gave into temptation and slide into the bed with you. Sex wasn’t something that came often for him. Namjoon knew if you had gone further, he wouldn’t have lasted long.

He hurried down the stairs and sat on the couch, slouched with his hands over his face. Blowing out a breath, he pulled them away and cupped himself through his jeans. Closing his eyes, he rubbed himself, your face in his mind. Your mouth opened in pleasure, legs spread out before him, holding tightly to his hair, lifting your hips to give him as much access to your wet opening as he could get. Namjoon muffled a moan as he undid his pants and pulled out his cock. It was already aching, his dick hard and flushed blue-tinted purple as he gripped it in his fist. 

“Fuck, angel,” he murmured, furthering the memory into a fantasy of his own, where he stood, pulled his member out, and lined it at your entrance. You would be as breathless as he was now, with your trembling legs wrapping around his hips as he pressed forward. While he imagined this, Namjoon’s hand pumped his cock. He used his own leaking precum to lubricate himself. You’d be warm, slick, accepting him without hesitation. The way you responded to his mouth told him that.

Closing his eyes, Namjoon let his head fall back. His mouth fell open, breathing staggered, as the vision of you taking him completely, whimpering and clinging to him, brought him close to his release. It didn’t take long for him to furiously pump his cock, biting his lip and whining as he lifted his shirt out of the way. He imagined you crying out, milking his cock as he came. The warm spurt of his seed on his hand brought him out of his fantasy, trying to catch his breath. His ice blue semen ended up on his stomach, as well. Letting out a tired moan, Namjoon decided a shower was the best course of action.

Your first thought as you came out of sleep was how comfortable you were. On your side, you were wrapped up in a soft, thick blanket, one hand under your cheek and the other wrapped around your bed partner. You squeezed him, rubbing your face against his naked chest. It was cool to the touch, but it didn’t bother you. In fact, the touch of his skin on yours made an ache appear between your legs. You absent-mindedly placed a kiss on his chest, eyes still closed, and let out a soft sound of contentment. A well-muscled arm wrapped around you, splaying his hand on your back, and pulled you close.

You breathed in the scent of a fresh winter breeze as you opened your eyes, tilting your head up. Namjoon’s pale blue eyes met yours, a sleepy smirk on his lips. You blinked up at him, your mind trying to remember everything that had happened in the last six hours. He waited patiently, a sparkle in his eyes. Finally, a smile came to your lips. It wasn’t a dream. Wait, not a dream? I fell asleep… and now I’m awake… 

“Angel, what’s on your mind? The light in your eyes became a bit more dull,” Namjoon asked, frowning. He brought a hand up to cup your cheek. His large hand, cold but comforting, seemed extremely real, as did the memories of the sensations you had left hours earlier.

“Am I dreaming?” you quietly asked, holding his gaze.

“No. This is real. Magical, but real. And you have plenty of time to enjoy your Christmas Eve some more.” His hand left your cheek. Namjoon rolled onto his back, pulling you close. Your head ended up on his chest, with one leg thrown over his thighs. He played with the strands of your hair as he continued. “Look out the window, see the curvature of the glass?”

“What do you mean?” you asked, shifting only your eyes toward the window. Sunrays fell into the room through the curtains, hitting the floor. You saw a house a few yards away, and then the park. Two families were out, one familiar and one not, laughing and having fun throwing snowballs and sledding. The curtains blocked you from seeing anything definitively. 

“Oh, yeah, curtains.” Namjoon lifted his free hand and swiped his hand through the air. The curtains parted enough for you to see the events happening, as well as the trees. He pointed with the same hand, showing you something. “Above the trees, if you look at it just right, you can see the light of the sun bounce off the glass.”

You followed his finger, watching the spot curiously. After two seconds, you saw it. The light glinting off something round. Eyes widening, you sat up, the blanket falling off the top half of you, and looked down at Namjoon. He raised an eyebrow as he put his hands behind his head. For a moment, you were distracted by his broad shoulders, oddly tinted smooth skin, and almost defined abs. You blinked, making yourself focus on this new information.

“Snowglobe,” you stated, looking back out the window. “Wait… could you close the curtain? I don’t want them to see...”

“Sure,” Namjoon chuckled, lifted a hand to swipe the curtains closed, then putting it back under his head. “Yes, the snowglobe. We are in the item you purchased last week.”

“How?” You didn’t know what else to say, staring down at him beside you. He studied you for a moment, his eyes moving over your face, searching for something. Seemingly satisfied, he continued in a patient voice.

“Magic. I… was put here as a punishment for something I did a very long time ago, when I was still very young.” As he said it, you saw his eyes shift away. He bit his lip nervously, and you wondered what kind of things he did to be punished in something like this. You opened your mouth to ask, but he started to talk once more. “I wanted to one-up the Frost Family, to put it bluntly. My actions caused harm to humans indirectly.”

“Oh…” You reached out a hand and placed it on his chest. He moved a hand to rest on top of yours. “How long? Are you in here, I mean?”

“Aren’t you going to ask what I did?” He grinned with surprised amusement, furrowing his brow.

“Would you be comfortable telling me?”

“Not at the moment,” he stated, closing his eyes. A stuttering breath left his lips, causing your hand to rise and fall with his chest. After a moment, Namjoon opened his eyes. “I don’t want to cause your wish to be unfulfilled. No stress, remember?”

“Could you… can you see me through the sky?” You glanced toward the window once again. 

“Yes, but not often. The fates seem to decide when it’s appropriate. Anyway, it’s Christmas Eve Day! Sowon gives out delicious treats in the morning.” He stood from the bed and put his hands on his lean waist for a moment. In a moment, his dark blue sweatpants had changed to black jeans, and a long-sleeved sweater with Santa on the front appeared on his torso. He turned and held out his arms, showing off. “We should hurry before they’re all gone. Bora and the other kids might get there before us..”

“Can I do that? Like I did last night with the red dress?” You looked down and realized you were still wearing it. Namjoon nodded and beckoned you with two fingers. You pushed the blankets off your body and stood next to him.

“Close your eyes and imagine what you’d like to wear.” You did as he suggested. You felt his chilly hands wrap around yours, and you took a deep breath. 

Namjoon held your hand the whole walk to the store, where a short christmas elf stood just outside the door with a large tray in his hands. Four young children were bouncing around him, almost the same height, grinning. It was alarming how pleased he was with your outfit choice. You had chosen almost the exact same outfit, and Namjoon couldn’t help but think of the phrase couple’s outfit as you walked together. Your hand was warm and inviting, a touch he hadn’t felt… well, ever. He was extremely happy you kept your hand in his, squeezing when you wanted to show him something, or just swinging it playfully between the two of you. When the children and Sowon saw Namjoon and you walking toward them, Sowon stood tall - all four feet of him - and held the tray above his head.

“Ah, Namjoon! There you are! I was worried you weren’t going to make it this morning…” He trailed off as his eyes caught sight of your hands together. Raising his eyebrows, he looked questioningly at Namjoon. “That’s… I mean… you’re….”

“Yes, this is her.” Namjoon felt your steps slowing, so he tugged on your hand gentle, throwing a smile over his shoulder to reassure you. You walked a little faster, squeezing Namjoon’s hand with nervousness. You stared at Sowon, mouth open, surprised. 

“Elf. You’re an elf,” you state. The children giggle, and come up to you. They introduce themselves, lifting their hands to shake yours. Namjoon reluctantly let’s go of your hand for you to respond to their actions, stepping up beside Sowon as you introduce yourself to the kids. As you’re finding out all about them, Sowon leans a little closer to Namjoon.

“The human who bought this globe. Why is she here? And not during a dream?” he whispered, holding the tray tightly in his hands.

“Boreas visited me a few days ago.” That made Sowon turn his head completely to Namjoon, eyes wide with wonder. Namjoon glanced at him and then turned his gaze back to you. “I thought I was in trouble, too, but it seems the fates have decided to give me a task.”

“And what is this task?” he asked, still shocked about Boreas visiting him. He set the tray on a small table that was near the door.

“Make her wish come true.”

“Oh.” Apparently the Christmas elf didn’t know what else to say, so he turned back and tilted his head, studying you as the children waved goodbye. He lifted a hand to wave back, and the children ran off toward their own houses. Before he could ask anything else, you appeared in front of Namjoon and Sowon. “Hello, my dear, I am Sowon, the owner of this store. Yes, I am an elf, an elder, actually. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” He said your name slowly, making sure he pronounced it correctly. You nodded politely and shook his hand.

“Namjoon told be about your treats. May I try one?” you asked, glancing at Namjoon. He flushed, embarrassed to be caught staring at you with a goofy grin on his face. Sowon held back a little smile as he saw Namjoon’s face. Namjoon silently cursed his blue skin being so obviously flushed purple. Sowon lifted the tray back up, allowing you to look over the treats.

“All of these are made by myself,” Sowon stated proudly. He began to point out each type. “We have peppermint patties, hot chocolate cookie cups, red velvet cookies with frosting, christmas bark, vanilla shortbread cookies, candy puffcorn, and ginger spice cookies.”

You tried a small bite of everything, offering a bite to Namjoon each time you took one. You gestured for him to open his mouth, and he did. You put each small portion of the treat into his mouth, eyes locked on his mouth. Each time, he resisted the urge to bite playfully at your fingers, wondering if they’d be sticky and sweet with the crumbs. With each treat, Namjoon felt a rare warmth spreading in his chest, and further down his body.

“I… think we’ve tried all of them,” he stuttered, clearing his throat. You turned to him, licking some sprinkles off your lips. He wondered if you knew what you were doing to him, teasing him with your pink tongue against the lips he wanted to kiss very much right at this moment. “Come with me,” he suddenly said, taking your hand and pulling you into the shop. Sowon blinked as Namjoon pulled you away, then shrugged, going about his business. He walked away, taking the rest of the treats with him like every morning, offering them around the tiny globe town.

Meanwhile, Namjoon pulled you across the store, knowing exactly where he was going. You followed curiously, not saying anything as he finally came to a stop in front of a door. He opened it and turned toward you.

“And now what?” you asked, chuckling with amusement. “Joon, your face is all purple. What’s on your mind?” You walked past him, into the little storage room. He followed, closing the door behind him. Now alone with you, Namjoon realized the name you had called him. A nickname, as if you were familiar with him, as if you were in a close relationship. He liked it.

“I really want to kiss you. I didn’t think doing it in front of Sowon would be polite.” He took a few steps toward you, then put his hands on your hips. You placed your hands on his arms and grinned up at him.

“You’re so considerate,” you reply, standing on your toes to brush your lips against his. Namjoon moaned gently, turning your body so your back was against the door. He pressed his body against you, so close you could feel his erection. You squeezed his biceps as his lips crash down onto yours. This kiss was much rougher than the kisses from before, all tongue and teeth, with Namjoon’s fingers diving into your hair to hold your head still.

“I’m sorry,” he rasped, pulling his lips from yours for breath. His body trembled. Namjoon flexed his hips so his dick rubbed against your stomach. “Should I stop? I don’t want to stop, but we’re in the store closet and -”

“Are you saying you want to fuck me in the closet, where someone might hear us through the door?”

The words that fell from your lips made your whole body heat with excitement. The chance of getting caught had never been something you’d wanted to try, but now that you were here, with Namjoon…. You licked your lips as you raised your eyebrows at him, waiting for his answer. His pupils were blown wide with desire, hands still in your hair. He placed his forehead against yours, your noses touching and his breath on your lips.

“I would fuck you any place you’d let me,” he murmured with a smirk, lips brushing against yours. You sucked in a breath as his hands fell from your hair and landed on your hips. “Hold tight.” You wrapped your arms around his neck as he lifted you, biting your lip to smother a squeak as your legs wrapped around his own waist. His clothed erection pressed directly against your clothed opening. You groaned, nuzzling his neck. “This isn’t the place to go slow and steady, angel. Let me get you off now and then we’ll head back home.”

“I think I want to get you off,” you teased, grinding yourself against him. You unhooked your legs around him and placed them on the floor. Namjoon let you turn your bodies until his back was on the door. Blinking, as if he wasn’t sure he heard you right, Namjoon stared at you as slowly slid to your knees. 

“You do remember this is about you, right, Angel?” Namjoon’s breath staggered as you began to undo the button on his jeans. He reached out and swiped some hair behind your ears as you pulled the zipper down. “Your wish, pleasing you.”

“I would be very pleased if you put your dick in my mouth, Joon,” you grinned. Namjoon growled a curse and let his hand fall to his side. As you pushed his jeans down over his hips, stopping just enough to pull his dick out, the main door to the store was heard opening. Namjoon froze, but you kept your eyes locked with his and wrapped your hand around his thick, hardening cock. He swallowed hard.

“Angel,” he whispered, hands fisted at his sides. He didn’t say anything else as he gazed down at you with heavy-lidded eyes. You turned your attention to his member in your hands, your fingers unable to curl completely around him. It was turning almost the color of lilac, the blue mixing with redness of blood that was flowing into it. You slowly slide your hand up, and then down.

“The skin is cool, but it’s also warm underneath,��� you murmured, moving your hand a little faster. His dick was now completely hard, with a drop of icy blue precum at the top. Your eyes widened with interest. Namjoon sucked in a breath through his nose as your tongue came out to taste the small drop. 

“Fuck, angel, fuck,” he murmured, bringing his hand up to bite the knuckle of a finger. You saw his thighs shudder as your blew on the head of his dick. His cum had a cool flavor to it, almost like peppermint. You hummed your approval as you looked up at him, all the while moving your hand up and down his member. 

On the other side of the door, probably near the store counter, you both heard Sowon humming to himself. The shuffling of his feet, then the sound of a mop hitting the floor, told you he was cleaning up the shop at the moment. Your gaze moved back to his member as you licked against the head once more. His hips jerked as you took the tip into your mouth and sucked lightly, rolling your tongue against it. You let spit fall from your mouth as you tongued him, lubricating the shaft as you continued to pump with your hand.

As the humming and shuffling of Sowon came closer, you lowered your lips more and more onto Namjoon’s cock. One hand of his came to lay on the back of your head, the other still against his mouth. When the humming and sound of mopping was right next to the door, you took as much of his dick as you could, almost to the point of gagging. Namjoon shuddered as his hand pressed the back of your head gently, asking for you to go deeper. You did your best, only a couple of inches to go. His fingers tangled in your hair, hands trembling, as you swallowed and had to stop with an inch left. Cursing, Namjoon’s eyes closed and his hips jerked. That caused you to finally gag, and you pulled off his cock, a long strand of spit connecting his member and your mouth as you sucked in oxygen.

The sound of humming stopped a moment, causing both Namjoon and you to lock eyes, holding your breath. His lavender cock twitched, your hand holding it’s base. The link of spit broke as the humming started up once again. It stayed near the door, but that didn’t stop you from licking your lips and grinning. Namjoon’s hand fell from his mouth as his jaw tightened, both hands falling to your head.

“More, Angel,” he whispered harshly, eyes pleading. “Please,” he added, biting his lip as he guided you back toward his cock. You happily took him back inside your mouth, the tip hitting the back of your throat as Namjoon’s head fell back quietly against the door. A soft whimper came from his mouth as you bobbed your head, your tongue stroking as you moved. “Don’t stop,” he breathed, hand guiding your head gently. His hips bucked. The peppermint taste of his precum started to cover your tongue, telling you he was close.

You pulled back for air, fisting his cock and pumping it quickly. Namjoon lowered his eyes to you. His cock was right in front of your face, his hands cupping your head as you both locked eyes. His jaw twitched and a low hiss escaped him. You opened your mouth, settling it just under the tip of his dick, still stroking his member as Namjoon’s eyes widened. He struggled to keep his eyes open as his whole body shuddered, icy blue cum spurting from his cock and into your mouth. You kept your mouth opened as he finished, muffling his grunts with his lips tightly closed. His hips jerked once more, his cock jumping in your hand, as the last shot of cum landing on your tongue. You swallowed as he gasped for air, hands lowering from your head and falling to his sides.

You licked your lips, enjoying the strange taste of his release, as you stood. Shakily, you pressed yourself against him, wrapping your arms around Namjoon’s waist. His member was still out, pressed between the two of you, but you didn’t care as you held his trembling body. Namjoon’s head fell to your shoulder, and his arms circled you and squeezed. With his nose buried in your neck, you both held each other as your breathing slowly became normal once again. The noises of Sowon cleaning was still happening, but on the other side of the building.

“Did you like that?” Namjoon whispered against your skin, almost hesitantly. You chuckled pulled away so he would look at you. You cupped his cheek and brushed your nose against his. He waited patiently for the answer, looking almost worried. It was endearing.

“I loved it,” you murmured. He opened his mouth, and then pulled back, glancing away sheepishly. You pressed your hand against his cheek to get him to look at you again. “What?”

“I’ve...um. Never done that,” he admitted, pressing his forehead against yours with his eyes closed. You took a moment to think over his words. Did that mean he’d never done what he had last night, either? Does that mean he hasn’t done anything before?

“Wait, really? What about last night, with your mouth…” His eyes fluttered opened and his eyebrows lifted. “Never?”

“No,” he murmured, looking proud of himself. “Surprised? Did I do well?”

“Well?” You burst out laughing, kissing him quickly, then pulling away. He let you tuck his member back into his pants, and zip them back up, smirking. “More than well, eleven out of ten, can’t wait to do it more.”

“Same,” he agreed.

The movements of Sowon had ended moments ago. He could now be heard whistling as he unpacked items onto the shelves. Namjoon winked at you as he opened the door. You followed him out, closing the storage room door, and took his hand. Walking confidently, you passed Sowon at the counter, who looked up, perplexed. Sputtering, he tried to ask where you two had been, but Namjoon just waved and shouted a cheery goodbye, pulling you with him.

He dropped your hand a little ways from the store, stopped, and crouched on the sidewalk. You stopped beside him, frowning. A high he had never felt made it seem like electricity was buzzing around his whole body. Scooping up a handful of snow, he quickly made it into a ball and stood. Before you could realize what he was doing, he took a few steps forward and turned, throwing it at you. It hit your shoulder, breaking apart into powder. Your mouth opened in surprised, eyes shining with excitement. He feigned innocence, shrugging and jogging backward with a grin. Namjoon’s heart bounced as your surprised expression turned into a devilish smile. He couldn’t help think it was adorable, even as you scooped up a handful of snow and patted it into a ball, stalking toward him as he walked backwards with his hands up. You chucked it at him with a gleeful shrieked, and he took the hit, knowing full well he could have just sidestepped it. 

The snowball fight had started, and you spent a good half an hour tossing snowballs at each other as you made your way toward his home. You were both giggling and out of breath as you entered, the powdery faux snow covering your clothing. Namjoon shook his head, trying to get it out of his hair. It only got part of it out, so you stood on your toes and reached up, running your hand through it. Namjoon held back a groan as he did the same, pushing his fingers into your hair and shaking the strands to get the powder out of it. After a few moments, your breathing had returned to normal and the snow was mostly off of you.

“Hot chocolate?” he asked, pushing some hair behind your ear. 

“With peppermint?”

“Your favorite, I think,” he replied with a wink over his shoulder. You snorted, knowing exactly what he was talking about. You watched him wander into his kitchen and open a cabinet, pulling out two mugs, both christmas themed. You sat on the couch and he sat beside you, placing the mugs on the coffee table. You looked at the empty cups, then back at him. He bent close and kissed you quickly. “Magic. Remember?”

“Oh, right,” you laughed. Namjoon waved his hand over the mugs, and suddenly steam appeared over them. They were automatically filled with the creamy, sweet drink, a stick of peppermint against the side of the cup. “Thank you,” you said, reaching for your drink.

You both sat for a while in comfortable silence, enjoying the warm beverage, sipping quickly. You ended up leaning against him, knees up and feet on the edge of the cushion as he wrapped an arm around your shoulders, holding you close. Your body felt heavy, the craziness of everything in the last twelve or so hours sneaking up on you. The sun shone inside through the windows, the sheer curtains floating in a non-existent breeze. Namjoon knew from the angle of the light it was almost lunch time.

“Do you need to eat?” you randomly asked, placing the empty cup on the table. He did the same with his, then pulled you back against his side. You yawned, although you didn’t feel too tired.

“Not necessarily,” he said slowly. “I suppose I’m immortal, especially being in here. I do enjoy food, though I’m not much of a cook. I guess I’ve counted on my magic to make delicious meals.” He chuckled, absentmindedly running his hand through your hair.

“I see. I do need to eat, though. I’m starving. What kind of food can you make with magic right now?”

It was mid-afternoon when you finished your lunch with an impromptu magic show. Namjoon had made a simple sandwich meal lunch appear, with your favorite sandwich and sides, which you specifically had asked for. After he was finished, and while you were still chewing, Namjoon decided to show off some of his special talents. First, he took the ice rose he had made you the night before - which was still on the table - and had it dissolve into ice dust, gently falling through the air and disappearing. Next, he created a dazzling display of sea creatures seemingly swimming in water, but it was made out of ice and ice dust in front of you.

Lastly, Namjoon snapped his fingers and decorated the whole house in christmas lights, blinking a peaceful rhythm, making you smile as the main lights turned off and the curtains closed. All that was on now was the small christmas lights, throwing colorful, dim light all around you. You felt Namjoon’s eyes on your as soft snow-like dust fell all around just you, disappearing before touching the floor. Taking a deep breath, you closed your eyes and stretched. You hadn’t been this calm, this relaxed, in what seemed like forever. Opening your eyes, you saw Namjoon standing in front of you, eyes widened with curious wonder.

“What?” you asked softly, not wanting to break the beautiful spell all around you.

“Have I granted your wish?” he asked, just as softly. He licked his bottom lip, hands tucked into his jean pockets.

“Absolutely. Why do you ask? Everything is perfect.”

“Just making sure,” he replied, a smile pulling at his lips. Unfortunately, you saw that it didn’t reach his eyes. Your chest started to ache, although you weren’t entirely sure why. The thought of Namjoon not being happy, like usual, made you sad. 

“What’s wrong?” you asked, frowning as you reached up to cup his face. He placed a hand on your hand on his cheek, the sadness in his eyes disappearing. His grin lit up his face once more. 

“Just thinking how beautiful you are, Angel.” His eyes started to sparkle with mischief. He turned his head and placed a kiss on your palm, and then moved your hand to his mouth, kissing each fingertip. The soft brush of his lips caused butterflies to flutter in your stomach, plus a warm ache between your legs. His teeth nipped at the tip of your thumb, then his tongue came out to slide over your finger. You breath caught in your throat as you watched his plump lips take the tip of your thumb into his mouth, sucking gently. 

“J-Joon,” you stuttered, the warmth building to a blaze. 

“I like that,” he murmured against your hand, moving his mouth back to your palm, kissing it gently. Finally, he let your hand fall as he cupped both of your cheeks with his hands, stepping closer. “That nickname. It makes it feel like we’re close… in a close relationship.”

“I think we are,” you murmur as his face comes closer. The dim Christmas lights are still lit up around you, but the blinking rhythm had stopped. His nose brushed against yours. “I want to be close to you.”

He only answered with a hum, then his lips fall upon yours. This kiss was different. It was slow and languid, like he was memorize your taste. You sighed against his lips, and his tongue entered your mouth without hesitation. Tilting your head, you opened your mouth and tangled your tongue with his. His arms went around you, holding you tightly against him. You wrapped your arms around his neck as he lifted, hands holding your ass as your legs went around him. As you continued to kiss, he walked effortlessly up the stairs toward the bed on the loft.

Slowly, gently, Namjoon set you upon the sheets, and laid next to you. On his side, he cradled your head in the crook of his arm as you got comfortable with it under your neck. He brushed your hair off your face and looked down at you. Yawning, you stared up at him, not wanting to break whatever magic that surrounded you two.

How many hours did he have left? Seven, six? It didn’t seem like enough time, to be honest, but there was nothing he could do. The fates had done this, let him bring you here, let him feel things he hadn’t ever felt before. He could chalk it up to magic, but what would happen when you left? Would he forget? Would the feelings go away? Would he remember? His heart aching to feel these wonderful feelings again? His thoughts must have shown on his face, because suddenly you frowned. Shit, he hadn’t meant to make you sad. He leaned down and placed a kiss on your forehead.

“Take a rest. You’re going to need it tonight.” He winked at you and stood. You propped yourself up by the elbows, raising an eyebrow curiously.

“What if I’m not tired?”

“Then you don’t have to rest.” You stared at him, and Namjoon stared back, a small smirk on his lips.

“You didn’t enchant me with sleep magic, did you?” you yawned, falling back onto the bed. You turned to your side and snuggled deeper into the blankets. Namjoon lifted a hand and magically  moved the blankets to tuck around you comfortably.

“No,” he chuckled. “You’ve been through a lot in the past 18 hours. Your body is probably overwhelmed, even if your mind isn’t.” 

“Fuck, you’re right,” you replied with a sigh. You closed your eyes, letting the bed cradle you into a gentle sleep. Namjoon watched you from the doorway, leaning against the frame with his arms crossed over his chest. He sighed heavily, then turned away, going downstairs. Namjoon found an ipad-looking item, sat on the couch, and stared at the black screen. After a long moment, Namjoon swallowed and straightened his back, steeling himself against the anxiety settling into his stomach.

With a press of a side button, Namjoon turned on the magic tablet, then pressed on the screen. He selected the icon to call the one who represented him so long ago during his trial. After a few tinkles of bells sounding, the face appeared. It didn’t look any different from the last time Namjoon had seen him, with a large grin and blue-tinted skin. 

“Namjoon! Wow, it’s been… well, a long time. How are you? What are you calling me for? You didn’t get into trouble, did you?” He cocked his head and raised his eyebrows. Namjoon chuckled and shook his head.

“No, Hoseok, I didn’t get into trouble. But… I do have a request. I need your help.” The dark-haired man opened his mouth, then closed it, mulling over Namjoon’s words. Leaning back in the desk chair he was sitting in, a small smirk came to his lips.

“Interesting. Tell me what you need, and I can tell you what I can do.”

“I want to be human.”

Hoseok’s eyes widened as he straightened with a jerk, almost causing him to roll away from the screen in the chair. Namjoon waited patiently as his friend kept opening and closing his mouth. Finally, Hoseok scooted closer to the screen and placed his face close enough to almost see up his nostrils.

“Why would you want to be human?” he whispered harshly, confused. “That’s... that’s a punishment in itself. Do you know how hard I worked to keep you from becoming a human?” He leaned back, shaking his head in disbelief.

“I know, I know. And I hope you know how grateful I am towards you. Now, though….“ Namjoon hesitated, glancing towards the loft above him. Hoseok gestured for him to continue. “The fates have connected myself with a human woman, and -”

“Oh. Namjoon, you didn’t…” Hoseok sighed, his voice turning sympathetic. He rubbed his temples, which Namjoon took as a not-so-good sign. “Okay. Let me think. I… I’ll have to bring up your case again, talk to the magistrate. You’ll probably have to go tell them what you want and why they should give it to you. You’ll also have to face the Frost family.” Namjoon pressed his lips together in a thin line, narrowing his eyes. Hoseok shrugged helplessly. 

“Fine. Can you get the process started?”

Your dreamless sleep was gently interrupted by the bed dipping beside you. Sighing, you rolled onto your side, toward the body that had stretched out there. Muscled arms wrapped around you as your cheek pressed against Namjoon’s chest, your arm laid over his torso. You nuzzled his chest, the scent of peppermint tickling your nose. Eyes still closed, you felt his fingers gently running through your hair. 

“You smell good,” you mumbled into his shirt. Namjoon chuckled, his chest moving slightly. You lifted your head and moved toward his face, placing your lips on his for a moment. Soft smiles passed between the both of you as you pulled away. His hand cupped your cheek, thumb running over your bottom lip slowly. You nipped at it playfully. Namjoon’s eyebrows raised.

“If you keep teasing me like that, I’ll return the favor.” He smirked, gazing at you with an intense stare. Your grin fell and you sucked in a quiet breath, noticing the change in the air. Pushing yourself onto your hands and knees, you manuvored yourself so you straddled his hips, leaning over him. His hands gripped your hips as you hovered over his body. “What do you want, angel? Whatever it is, I’ll give it to you.”

“Right now?” you asked innocently, letting your hips fall onto his. The apex of your thighs pressed against his member, which was hardening quickly. You wiggled, keeping your eyes locked with his. Namjoon’s eyes darkened and his fingers gripped your hips tighter, making you stop wiggling. “I want to feel you… inside me.”

“Same,” he growled, rolling over without hesitation, trapping you underneath him, your back pressed against the sheets. His hands found yours, settling them above your head, fingers entwined, as his hips flexed. You shivered, feeling his dick straining against his zipper. A shiver of anticipation went through your body. “How do you want me? Slow and soft, fast and hard?”

“All of them,” you replied, not able to chose. They were both equally desirable. Namjoon let out a laugh, then bent down, nuzzling your shoulder. He let the tip of his nose run over your shirt and then onto your skin as it pressed against your neck. You turned your head, giving him better access. Breathlessly, you let out a soft whine. 

“Does that mean I get to pick?” His voice was deep, slightly muffled from your skin. You swallowed and nodded, lifting your hips to press even harder against his. He kissed your skin, then scraped his teeth in the same spot before pulling away. Hovering over you one again, he winked. Suddenly, both of you were naked, your clothes disappearing. As soon as his cool skin pressed against yours, you gasped. 

“Joon!” you cried, feeling his hard cock rubbing against your opening as his hips jerked. Namjoon seemed to be as affected by your skin touching his because his eyes were closed tightly. Wiggling your body underneath him, you pulled your hands from his and wrapped them around his neck, pulling his forehead down to yours. His hands fisted the blanket on either side of your head. Sharing soft pecks on the lips, Namjoon opened his eyes. His light blue eyes had darkened to navy, his dick twitching as the head pressed against your opening. 

“Not yet,” he rasped before covering your mouth with his. Immediately, you opened your lips and accept his tongue inside. Tilting your head, you clung to him with your arms as your hips moved desperately, the feel of his member sliding against your clit beginning to become overwhelming. Namjoon growled against your lips, biting the lower one, then devouring your taste once again, tongue exploring every corner of your mouth. He pulled his hips away, causing you to groan into the kiss.

“Inside, please, Joon!” Whining, you tried to press his body back against you. He groaned and resisted your tugging, dipping his head so his lips pressed against your collarbone. You groaned and held onto his broad shoulders as his mouth moved lower, kissing down your chest. He placed an open mouth kiss on top of your right nipple and brought his fingers up to the other to give it as much attention. 

“Gotta taste you first, Angel,” he panted between nips and licks against your breast. You groaned and tangled your fingers in his hair as he blew against the tip. After a while, he switched to the other nipple. “I can already smell your arousal. I know you’re so slick for me, ready for my cock to slide right inside.”

“Yes,” you gasped, tugging at his hair. He lifted his head, a grin on his face, and pressed his lips to yours once again. As he slowly savored your mouth, one of Namjoon’s hands ran lightly over your torso, making goosebumps appear everywhere. “Please touch me. I love your fingers…”

“I know. I’m glad,” he murmured as he pressed a finger against your aching clit. You groaned and kissed him harder, biting his lip. He chuckled as he flexed his hips against you, his dick warming against your skin. He began to make figure eights with his finger, looking proud of himself as he looked down at your face. 

“You’re so beautiful, Angel. Responding to my every touch.” 

He leaned forward, his finger still moving as you shuddered under him, and pressed his lips against your cheek. Whispering, he placed his lips near your ears to say, “I can’t wait to cum inside you, to truly make you mine.”

“Yes,” you repeated, sloppily kissing him deeply. You put one hand over his hand between your legs, and pressed it lower, asking without words for more. Namjoon hum in appreciation, nipping at your lips, and slid two fingers over your opening. You both groaned at the same time, your hips jerking.

“Fuck, Angel, I was right. I’ll have no probably sliding completely inside you.” He pressed his two fingers inside, slowly moving them in and out. You spread your thighs wider. Namjoon pulled his fingers out suddenly.

“Don’t stop!” you cried out, reaching for his hand to place it back between your legs. Namjoon avoided your hand and brought his fingers to his mouth. Grinning, he licked your juices off.

“I’m not going to stop….”

“Can you please put your dick in me, Joon?” you pleaded desperately, squirming under him. Namjoon seemed surprised, but only for a moment. He spread your thighs with his knees, eyes widening in with anticipation as he lined the head of his cock against your slit. You shared a final look between the two of you, then he pressed forward slowly.

You both let out a heavy sigh of pleasure as he slid into you. Wrapping your legs around his waist, you angled your hips to allow him deeper access. He pressed his forehead against yours, his cock fully entered you. Even though his body was cool, his dick was hot and throbbing in you. 

“I promised to give you anything you wanted,” he whispered against your lips. You flexed your hips, causing his dick to shift against your walls. “Let me lead, Angel, please. I won’t last long if you keep doing that.”

“I’m gonna go crazy if you don’t start moving!” 

Namjoon laughed at your demand, rubbing your noses together as he slowly pulled out. You both groaned as he stopped halfway and pressed forward once again. Slow and steady, he pushed then pulled, repeating the movement as his lips explored your mouth and the skin of your neck. He sucked there as he began to pick up speed, this time pulling his dick all the way out before thrusting inside. You shifted upward on the bed with his hard movement, but held on tightly as he continued his rough pace. As he sucked and bit bruises into your neck, you tried to catch your breath as the smell of peppermint surrounded you. 

“You’re so warm, so inviting, so wet. All for me, only for me, Angel,” Namjoon panted and pulled his face from your neck, pausing his thrusts to use his hands spread your thighs wider. Your knees pulled up toward your torso, opening yourself to him as much as possible. 

“Yes, yes,” you chanted, hips lifting to meet his quickening thrusts. One hand pressed your thigh down, holding yourself open for him, surely leaving marks to see later. His other hand held himself up over your, giving himself a good lever to use as he fucked into you over and over. Your shut your eyes tightly, burying your face into his chest as you cried out with each movement. You felt and heard his hips slapping against yours. When one of his fingers pressed against your clit, you jerked and bit into the skin of Namjoon’s shoulder. 

“That’s it, Angel. Let go. For me. Let go for me.” He continued to whisper encouraging, sweet words down toward you, hips and fingers moving in a rhythm of intense pleasure. A familiar feeling of pleasurable warmth started to grow in your lower body, spreading steadily as Namjoon continued to touch and talk to you. His thrusts started to grow uneven, whines coming from his lips.

“Oh, god!” you cried out, cursing as you shuddered and clinched against his cock, surrounded by his smell and whimpers as he sloppily thrust into you, about to reach his own peak. You rolled your hips as another small tremor slide from your head to your toes. You nuzzled Namjoon’s cheek with your own as he cried out, his release coating your walls. He jerked against you, holding you tightly as you continued to move your hips to help him as much as possible.

Gasping for breath, Namjoon’s head spun, his release sending him into some kind of euphoric state, where nothing mattered except you and him, your bodies wrapped around one another. He couldn’t hold himself up, so he fell on top of you, mumbling an apology. For several long moments, he listened to your heartbeat, ear to your chest, as you both worked to breath normally. Your fingers ran through his hair, both of you quietly enjoying the soft moment. Finally, Namjoon began to worry he was hurting you.

“Sorry, Angel,” he sighed, pulling himself off of you. Before he could completely leave, though, you smiled tiredly at him and wrapped your arms around his neck. You pulled him back toward you, and Namjoon didn’t want to deny you anything right now. He went right back to where he was, cheek on your chest, listening to your heartbeat as you stroked his hair. “Sure I’m not hurting you?”

“Nope,” you mumbled. “I love to cuddle after sex. Especially with you.” The last part was added after a moment of hesitation. 

The words caused Namjoon’s chest to ache with both happiness and sadness. Your time was coming to its limit soon, and the thought was edging it’s way to the surface. He suspected you were now thinking the same thing, from the way your fingers stopped for a moment before starting once again moving through his hair. “How much longer?” you asked after a while of silence.

“I….” Namjoon trailed off, shifted slightly to look toward the covered window. He lifted his fingers to use magic to pull the curtains slightly away as to see the sky. “I think… four hours, maybe?”

“Ah.”

“Angel,” Namjoon softly said, lifting himself enough to hover over your, his face now just above yours. He brushed his nose against yours, and then his lips against your own. Namjoon closed his eyes, enjoying the simple touches as he kissed you. This kiss was much less passionate than the ones earlier. He wasn’t sure what this one was filled with, honestly. He opened his eyes and rolled onto his side, arm still over your torso. He didn’t want to stop touching you. 

“Joon,” you answered with a grin, rolling onto your own side to face him. His chest ached heavily now, and he did his best not to show it, not to let you notice he was starting to hurt from the thought of you leaving. “I would be happy to spend the rest of my night right here, in your arms.”

“Perfect,” he murmured. You buried your face into his naked chest, not seeing Namjoon bite his lip hard enough to make him visibly wince. He held you tightly, and you returned with the same. 

Neither of you awoke when an unseen clock starting to chime twelve times. One… Two… Three… With each chime, the faux snow fell heavier and heavier, just as it had the time you had came here twenty-four hours ago. Neither of you felt each other fade from your arms, but the ache of separation from someone special wasn’t something that would go away as soon as everything went back to normal.

With sunlight slipping through the sheer curtains on your window, your eyelids flutter open. Blinking, you take a moment for your mind to become clear from sleep. Sitting up, you take a deep breath and stretch your hands over your head. You look down and see yourself in your usual snowflake pajamas. Everything seemed normal, but your mood was much brighter than it had been in the weeks before. Rolling your neck, you catch the sunlight glinting off something. Looking fully toward your side table, you see the snowglobe. The world inside the glass globe was calm and serene, just as it should be.

Checking your phone, you realize it was Christmas Day, not Eve. Frowning at yourself in the mirror, you wondered if the holiday depression you had felt had made you pass through the day without realizing. As you got ready for your day, tiny snippets of your dream from last night built into a full memory. In the shower, you looked wide-eyed at your thighs, seeing small bruises where fingertips could have been. While you brushed your teeth, you eyed the hickies on your neck, flushing.

As you finished covering them with make-up, you froze, staring at yourself. Suddenly, you started to laugh, a full belly laugh that seemed to take over your whole body. After a long moment of laughing as tears streamed down your face, you finally calmed, the dream fully coming back. It hadn’t been a dream, you knew it. You also felt an ache in your chest when you thought of him, the winter spirit who had made your wish come true. Wiping the tears off your cheeks, you walked back into your room. The globe on your table hadn’t moved, nothing inside had changed. Letting out a mournful sigh, you reach your fingers toward the item, but stopped just before you touched the glass globe.

As you left your bedroom, you saw a beautiful etching of frost on your window. You recognized the landscape that appeared - the park of the snowglobe. You wondered if Namjoon had done it, although you knew you had no way of knowing if he truly had.

Swallowing, Namjoon stood tall in the middle of the room. The raised stage in front of him had all the Winter Council members, as well as Boreas the Winter God, seated to face him. He also felt the eyes of the Frost Family behind him, only allowed into this because of the fact they were the Frost Family. Usually, no one except the Council, the accused, and their representative would be allowed in this room. Hoseok had done his best to convince the Council to get rid of the Frost Family, but the winter council seemed to like smug spirits more than the law of their beings. Boreas, as an observer only, couldn't do a damn thing, although he looked as annoyed as Hoseok and Namjoon did. 

“His actions led to the deaths of thousands of humans, Council Leader,” said Jack Frost, the leader of the famous family, stood next to Namjoon. “As winter spirits, we need to be in control of our powers. It seems only the Frosts are able to do that.”

“So it seems,” Namjoon murmured. Everyone looking at him raised an eyebrow. He cleared his throat and took a deep breath. He forced himself to unclench his jaw. “I am not here to deny these events. I understand my actions contributed to the deaths of humans.”

“Then why are you here?” the council leader asked, sighing with boredom. 

“I want my sentence to be changed.” 

“You can’t be trusted out in our world,” Jack hurried said, glaring at Namjoon. 

“I don’t want my powers anymore.”

The room fell silent, with everyone but Namjoon, Hoseok, and Boreas staring at him in shock. Boreas actually had a smirk forming on his lips, but he hid it quickly. Namjoon waited a long moment for anyone to say something, but when no one did, he relaxed his whole body. Jack snapped out of it at that moment and started to laugh. Namjoon glared at him, but decided to keep talking.

“It seems the Fates have shown me a different life that may be available to me. I’m going to trust the Fates, but only you can change me into a human to follow that path.”

“You don’t want your powers anymore,” the Council Leader repeated.

“No.”

“You want to be human?” 

“Yes.”

“Why?” The council leader furrowed his brows and leaned forward, suddenly interested. “Humans are… well, mortal, living short lives, with no magic. At all. No magic.” He repeated the phrase like it was the most important issue here.

“You guys don’t want me to have powers anymore, so just take them. The Frost Family can rule over the winter realm like everyone wants, and I don’t have to deal with the drama that comes with that.”

Boreas let out a snort, causing all eyes to rest on him. He fixed his face quickly, staring blankly back at everyone. Eyes turned back to Namjoon.

“Maybe you do have common sense,” Jack muttered. He shrugged. “Fine. Take his powers, make him a human. The Frost Family is fine with not being responsible for keeping him locked up. Good luck, Namjoon.” Jack obviously didn’t mean it, though. He quickly held up his middle finger, hiding it enough for only Namjoon to see it as he left the room.

“Boreas, sir,” the Council Leader stuttered, turning towards the God. “What do you make of this?”

“I’m only an observer, here in case nothing is worked out.” The Council Leader opened his mouth, but Boreas continued to talk. “You’ve wanted to do it since he was sentenced. Now that he wants it done, why are you hesitating?”

Usually, during Christmas evening, you would be with your family, playing board games that turn into huge competitions long into the night. This time, since they were on a cruise and enjoying the sun, you were alone. Still, you had a plan. After speaking to your family through video chatting, you made your way to the large hospital of the city. You hadn’t been there for a long while as a volunteer, so it took a while to get your information straightened out, but finally you made your way to the children’s oncology department.

Even though these children and their families didn’t know you, they welcomed you with open arms. Other volunteers were around the large conference room. A huge christmas tree was in the middle of the room, allowing everyone to wonder around it to see the different areas. There were places to read to children or read alone, do an art project, play instruments, write letters to Santa, take pictures with Santa, and many other activities.

You divided your time between all the booths for a while, helping with keeping snacks and water stocked for everyone. You hadn’t had this much fun-- this much happiness-- around you in such a long time. It seemed like everything was back to normal, except for the ache in your chest you knew was for Namjoon. As the sun was setting, and the booths were being packed up and closed, you stepped out into the hallway that lead to an exit, wanting some fresh air. Even though you had on your warmest outerwear, it still stung your nose and ears as you stepped outside. You saw a figure near you, seemingly doing the same thing. He looked familiar, and you recognize the coat and hat he was wearing. He had been reading to the kids for the last hour, when you had been helping with the letter writing booth.

“The kids loved you reading to them.” The figure turned, looking fully toward you. Your eyes widened and your mouth fell open. His grin turned to confusion, although his deep dimples never disappeared.

“Yes… are you okay? Do I have something on my face?” Immediately, he lifted his gloved hands, patting his cheeks. You swallowed and waved your hands.

“No, no! No, you don’t, you just… you look familiar. Do I… know you? Do you know me?”

“I don’t... think so? But, you do look familiar. And I don’t think it’s because of the previous hour I was here….” He looked thoughtfully out into the parking lot, then turned his gaze back to you. “I’m Namjoon. I was going to get some coffee before heading home. Would… would you like to join me?” 

When he said his name, you froze, unable to breathe. Namjoon seemed to take it as something else, because he was suddenly backtracking his question, stuttering over his words. “You don’t have to, I know it’s late, you’re probably heading back home to your family and- ”

“I’d love to,” you interrupt, the ache in your chest turning to hope. Namjoon grinned. As you walked beside him, you wondered if this was really what your heart was wishing for days ago. The Fates had listened to your words, but seemed to delve even deeper than you had intended. You had wished for a companion, but maybe it was meant to be more than just one day.

[diddlesanddoodles]

Dumpling ch. 24

The last chapter was a little thinner than I normal post and I left it on a cliffhanger. So I’m releasing the next chapter early. Enjoy the pity chapter, peeps! 

Word spread fast through the castle that the leader of the Hill Tribes, a man named Gregis, had died. Of what, no one seemed to know. However, all through the early morning as breakfast was cooked and readied for the top table, footman and servants were abuzz about the human leader’s demise, murmurs of unease and conspiracy ran amok.

“I wonder who will replace him,” said one footman as he waited for Saen to fill the serving tray with sweetmeats, whole fruits that had been boiled and stirred for hours in honey and sugar and taken on a translucent appearance.

“Who’s to say,” Yale replied from beside him as he sliced portions of cold meat of the left over boar from the previous night’s meal. “I don’t think we have much influence in the Hill Tribe’s politics. King kind of lets them figure out their own affairs.”

“What if the new leader hates Vhasshalans and they start raiding us?”

Yale scowled at the footman, looking as though he were seriously contemplating smashing him over the head with his own serving tray. “Raid us? What would they do that fer? We feed ‘em ya right git!”

The footman had the decency to look ashamed. “Well, yes. But y’know how greedy they are...”

Yale bristled and he glowered. “If ya don’t shut yer gob, I’m gonna smash all yer teeth out and ya can eat soup fer the rest ‘a ya fucking life.”

“Sorry!” The footman left with his tray in a hurry after that.  

“Fucking prat,” Saen muttered after him. “And he runs like a lass.”

For her part, Nenani spent the morning gathering up rocks that were scattered around the camp. Some were smoothed and polished river stones and other were chunks of layered earth that sparkled when the light hit them just right. Anything that looked pretty, she added to her pile. The freedom to wander about as she wished was a somewhat novel thing. Normally the kitchens were so busy in the morning, she had to stay put so as not to get in the way or get stepped on by an unobservant footman. The yard where they had set up the temporary kitchen was wide with plenty of space. To one side, the rampart loomed high above them, stone facing that stretched high into the sky, while the other was the wooden backsides of the guards’ barracks and armory. Just a bit further along was the stables and smithy.  

She had managed to accumulate a respectable collection by the time Farris finally returned. Even from a distance it was clear he was in a particularly fowl mood. Tucked under one arm was a small chest. Yale was the first to greet him.

“Mornin’ boss,” he said tentatively. “Everythin’ go alright?”

“No,” Farris snorted humorlessly, dropping the chest heavily onto a table and making the serving bowls clink and chatter. He stared into it for a moment, scowling and growling. “I suppose ya heard th’news by now.”

“About Gregis? Yeah,” Yale replied. “We heard the horns last night.” Yale watched Farris dig through the chest and when no further elaborations came, he pressed him. “What happened? Farris?”

“Gregis tried to break up a fight between two other humans,” Farris replied and then paused to pull out a small bottle, eyeing the contents inside and giving it a little shake to loosen the material within. He replaced it back into the chest and continued his rummaging. “One of the lil’ fucks stabbed ‘im. Pierced his heart and he bled out right in front of the whole damn tribe.”

There were muted gasps and curses from everyone. Bart grunted and turned to spit, “What a fuckin’ waste.”

Nenani watched from her place next to the hut, noting their reactions. She knew the name Gregis from overhearing Keral and King Warren the time she got lost in the halls and just before getting nabbed by the Ranger Captain. Gregis’s wife had made something for the King. Some sort of talisman to help protect his unborn child. Nenani wondered what kind of man he had been and was aware that she would likely have known him if Farris had not chosen to keep her as his ward.

“Poor man,” Saen said, looking grim. “He was married, wasn’t he?”

Yale nodded. “Aye. Has a young son too, I think.”

“They’ll be holdin’ the funeral tonight,” Farris continued, closing the chest at last with a little more force than was necessary and seemed deeply dissatisfied with the whole thing. “Then they’ll hang the lil’ bastard who did it a few days from now.”

“Any idea what the fight was over?” Avery asked.

“Somethin’ stupid would be my guess,” Farris answered, tucking the small chest under one arm. “Doesn’t matter though. He’s dead. There’s talk of Warrick bein’ nominated to replace him.”

“Warrick?” Bart snorted incredulously. “Ain’t he that skinny twat ya brought back from Dornbey a few summers passed?”

Farris laughed darkly. “That skinny twat grew up, Bart. Got big. Fer as big as a human can get.”

“Will ya be going?” Bart asked, leaning against the table with his arms crossed. “To the funeral.”

“Thought about it,” Farris replied, something hard moving across his face, but in a flash it was gone. “Not certain I much care fer watchin’ a dead human roast. Saw plenty ‘a that durin’ the war and I don’t care to see it ever again.”

“It ain’t the same,” Bart replied, placing a hand on his friend’s shoulder and squeezing. “Not at all.”

“Aye,” Farris sighed, looking world wary and tired. Nenani could see the dark circles under his eyes and she wondered if he had slept at all. It did not escape Bart’s eye either and the burly giant, patted Farris’s shoulder.

“Ye look like hell, Farris,” Bart said quietly. “Go take a bit ‘a rest. The boy’s and I know what needs t’be done.”

“No time,” Farris replied shaking his head and making his way towards the larger tent. “Maevis is needin’ some things.”

Farris ducked inside to place the chest on a small table near the front before turning back, a fresh apron in his hands. He was tying it around his waist and moving towards the prep tables.

“Well,” Bart said to him “He ain’t needin’ ‘em right this moment is he?”

The kitchen master stopped and considered it. “Nah. He ain’t.”

The butcher huffed and waved Farris off. “Go on then. We can handle this fine. Maevis has the patience of a saint and won’t care if he has to wait till after lunch fer his order.”

Farris paused, considering and finally he sighed and nodded. “Fine. Come and wake me if it gets too late.”

Bart’s answer came in an affirmative grunt before he returned to his work. Farris warily entered the hut, pulling the apron off. Nenani watched him and there was a nagging feeling in her chest and almost as though it were a compulsory thing, she stood and went to the hut’s open door and peeked in. Farris was sitting on the edge of his cot, wiping one hand down his face and she could more clearly see the toll taken on her guardian. His shoulders slumped as though bowing under the weight of something very heavy and though he was often seen scowling at nothing in particular at any given moment, his frown looked...very sad. Suddenly, green eyes turned to face her and Nenani bristled.

“What is it, Dumplin’?” Farris asked, his voice hoarse. She eased herself into the hut and slowly approached, wringing her hands. She stopped at his boots and looked up. Farris was peering down at her and his green eyes seemed duller. “Hm?”

“Are...” she started, licking her lips. “Are you okay?”

Farris seemed confused and a little taken aback by the question. “...I’ll live.”

She frowned. “That’s not what I asked...”

Farris quirked an eyebrow at her. But when she just continued to frown at him, crossing her arms and waiting for her answer, the forlorn lines of his face broke and he smiled. “I’m fine, lass. Just tired is all. Lot of things happenin’ all at the same time. Beats ya down after a while.” He snorted and wiped something from one eye. “Startin’ t’ pitty the nail...”

She studied his face before asking, “Did you know him? Gregis?”

He nodded. “Aye, I did. Wouldn’t ‘ave called him a ‘friend’, but we worked together gettin’ humans outta Dornbey and settled into the Hill Tribes. Knew ‘im fer a long time. A very long time...”

“Is that where they sell humans?” She asked. “At the market? Where Kent came from? And Sawyer?”

He winced and shook his head. “It ain’t something ya should be hearin’ about, lass,” Farris said, waving his hand. “Not fer a lil’un’s ears.”

She wanted to protest, to say that she wasn’t stupid. She had heard enough of Dornbey market to understand a little of what kinds of nefarious dealings were to be had there. And she also understood Farris and Yale’s trips there were not only purely to acquire produce for the kitchens. They were looking for Vhasshalans violating the King’s creed against eating humans. But seeing the stern warning in his eyes, Nenani dropped it.

She put a hand on the leather of his boot. “But...you’re okay?”

Warmth returned to his eyes and he nodded, a small smile tugging at the edge of his lips. He reached down and ran his finger tips across her head. “Aye.”

The fingers at head her dropped down and he cupped her back with his palm, steering her to face the door and gave her a gentle nudge. “Go on and play, Nenani. Weather’s turnin’ and it won’t be much time at all till the snows taller than ye are and ye’ll be stuck inside fer months. Best enjoy it while it lasts.”

She turned back as the hand retreated and in a sudden, in-the-moment decision, she ran back to grab onto his fingers, squeezing as tightly as she could manage. She released her grip to turn and run out the hut’s door, calling back over her shoulder, “Sleep well!”

Farris was left slack jawed as he watching her run off, a warm feeling spreading through his tired and aching body. As he laid down onto his cot, covering his eyes with his folded apron, he smiled and for the first time in a long while, slept soundly without the faces of the dead to accompany his dreams.

……………………………………………………..

She almost did not recognize him in his fancy clothes. Instead of the well worn slacks and tunic, Jae wore a formal doublet made of green silk with delicate gold embroidery and proper black breeches. His boots had even been polished. For the first time since knowing him, looked to Nenani like a proper King’s ward. Prince like almost. His hair was even combed.

“Not the most comfortable thing to wear,” Jae told her, lifting his arm up and spinning to show off the embroidered trim along the side. “And it makes climbing harder and Lolly will skin me if I rip these pants. But I promised Rosanna I would try to look more the part. She’s still kind of…not all that happy with me, but I guess we’re making progress. Apparently she had some weird idea that Warren wanted me to be in line for the throne and be in competition with her baby. So once we cleared that up, she was a lot more open to me being around. She just doesn’t really talk to me, which is fine. I don’t have much to say to her anyway. But I’m trying to show her I can actually behave and be a good King’s ward. A lot of standing around while someone drones on for an hours about protocols and junk. Ibronians are obsessed with court etiquette. They have rules for everything! Mostly I only need to wear this getup at official functions or when I’m working.”

They had taken up a corner of the camp away from the cook fires and busy staff to quietly chat and catch up. Nenani sat wrapped in her quilt, her collection of river stones in her lap.   

“Working?” she asked. “What are you working on?”

“Oh right!” Jae said, eyes bright. “You wouldn’t have heard. Warren’s made me Assistant Steward.”

“What’s that?” she asked, confused.

“Y’know, I asked him the same thing when he told me,” the boy replied with a smirk. “Basically, I trail along with Donal when he makes his rounds, keeping notes mostly, and delivering messages between the staff. The Steward and the Matron are the head servants, making sure everything runs smoothly between all the different departments.”

“Oh. So who’s the Matron?”

Jae looked at her oddly. “...well, Lolly is of course.”

“She is?” Nenani asked, feeling thrown for a loop.

Jae laughed. “You didn’t know?”

She shook her head. “No one calls her Matron...”

“No, that is true,” he replied conceding the point. “I don’t think she cares for the title to be honest. It does kind of invoke the image of someone much older.”

“Have you apologized to her?” Nenani asked. Jae coughed into his fist, his cheeks reddening in embarrassment.

“Yeah. Yeah I did,” he replied. “She came to see me late after...all that stuff happened.”

“So, does that mean everything’s okay now?” Nenani asked. “You can sleep in your own bed now?”

Jae rolled his eyes, but nodded. He stepped up onto a large boulder sticking up from the ground and eased himself into crouch. “Yup. Lolly even had it cleaned for me.”

“That was nice of her.”

“Yeah, but now I can’t find anything!” he laughed. Careful of his stiff clothing, Jae slowly sank down to sit onto the rock, letting his feet dangle just above the grass, appearing carefree and...content. More than she had ever seen.

“So what about you?” he asked. “Heard that Wyvern messed you up pretty good. These guys were beside themselves. I could heard Farris trying to break down the infirmary doors from Donal’s office.”

“Scariest moment of my life,” she replied. “Even worse than when I thought they were gonna eat me. By far!”

“We could hear it from the great hall. All the BANG and CRASH and WOOSH!,” Jae said, animated as he mimicked the sounds of a wyvern attack. “Everyone just started freaking out and started running around all useless. Thames even fainted!”

“It was so big!” Nenani said, flinging her arms out as far as they would go. “Like, a hundred feet long! It made everyone look small and Quinn said that Dragons are even bigger!”

“I’ve never seen one,” Jae replied with a shudder. “And hope it stays that way. Maevis told me once that Dragons weren’t only dangerous because of their size. They’re smart too. Like proper people smart.”

“I don’t think I wanna meet a dragon either,” Nenani made a face and Jae laughed.

“Oh!” he suddenly said, perking up. “That reminds me. I wanted to asked you about something Yale asked me...”

“Hm?”

“What’s this thing about dead people in the tunnels?”

Her heart gave an odd hiccup and for a moment, she could only stare at Jae. “Oh...yeah. He wasn’t suppose to say anything.”

“So, does that mean it’s true?” Jae asked, leaning down towards her, his eyes alight with curiosity. “You found...bones in there? Where? Why didn’t you anything before?”

She struggled to answer him, but to her relief, Jae did not press her on the fact that she had never told him. Instead, he leap to his feet. “We’re gonna have to find it again.”

“What?” Nenani balked. “No! It was scary!”

“Listen to me Nenani,” he said with a determined expression. “I have lived here for years and thought I knew those tunnels forwards and backwards. Now you’re saying you found a whole new tunnel? I have to see it for myself! Can you remember where it was? Any clue at all?”

“Well,” she began reluctantly. “When I ran away from it I ended up in a hallway and the King was there...it’s where Keral nabbed me...”

“What kind of tapestries did you see? Describe them.”

“Um...there was one with a tree and a horse and some ladies dressed in blue and..”

“I know where that one is!” Jae replied and then looked confused, tapping a finger to lip pursed lips. “But there’s not a door to the tunnels there...”

Nenani shrugged. She half expected him to feel defeated, but instead he looked as though this mystery was rejuvenating him and she was suddenly struck with the notion that he and Keral looked very much alike when they were excited.

“Alright!” He said in finality and turning back to Nenani. “I’m busty this afternoon and most of tomorrow with Donal, but after that I’m free. We’ll go searching for it then.”

“I...I don’t really...”

“Oh, come on! You stared a wyvern down and almost got chomped for real, but you’re too scared to go look for some old bones?”

“T-they’re not the same...”

“Well,” he said with a shrug. “You have two days to get over it. And then we go hunting.”

He turned away and began to walk away. Gaping at the back of Jae’s head, Nenani rose to her feet and yelled after him. “I didn’t agree to any of that!”

“Sorry,” Jae called back, now fully sprinting away. “Can’t hear ya!”

She stomped her feet indignantly. “JAE!”

…………………………………………………

It was well passed the luncheon hour when Farris emerged from the hut and the first thing he did was walk up to Bart and punch him squarely in the back of his right shoulder. “Ya fucker, ye was suppose to wake me if it got late.”

Wincing against the pain, Bart smirked. He rolled his shoulder. “Ah, sorry ‘bout that, Farris. Th’ time must’ve gotten away from me.”

Clearly not believing a word of what Bart had said, Farris just rolled his eyes and tightened his apron while muttering under his breath. Regardless of his protests, he did look very much improved by his rest, Nenani was quick to note. He carried himself in his the familiar way and took no pause before barking out orders and getting updates from everyone on where they were in their tasks.

“The iron one will do for now,” he was telling Gjerk. “We don’t need much ‘a the sauce fer the roast and I don’t want to be wastin’ anythin’ fer no good reason.”

Everyone went to their tasks, performing like a well oiled mechanism despite their heavy impairment with the kitchens still being repaired. Farris swept his gaze across the camp, noting where everyone was and mentally knocking off items from his list. He spotted Nenani under one of the prep tables set up near the cook fire, stacking rocks.  

Nenani glanced up when she heard Farris approach, his boots making light crunching sounds. He crouched down to peer under the table at her, smirking quizzically. “Playin’ with rocks, lass?”

“No,” she replied and held a particular river stone. It was a blushing pink color with a cream stripe down the center. “Just the pretty ones.”

He shook his head. “Well, no one could accuse ya of not bein’ easily amused.”

She stuck her tongue at him.

“I got a job fer ya, lil’ un,” he said as he reached out to lift her up. Once she was secured in the crook of his arm, he then reach back down to grab up her quilt. Her collection tumbled out into the grass.

“Hey!” she protested.

“They’re rocks, lass. I think they’ll be fine.”

He took her into the large tent that was set up beside the hut where he had created a makeshift spice pantry. There were no shelves, but chests and boxes filled with the bottles and jars and crocks that normally stocked the shelves of his pantry in the kitchen. Nenani watched from the work table as Farris dug through one of the boxes. He was muttering something under his breath as he searched until at last he stood upright, something clasped in his hand. “Ah! There it is...”

He took a stool from the other side of the table and pulled it closer, easing into it and lowering his hand close to her, the items still clasped in his fist “Thought this was lost fer good. Surprised me when it showed up again when we cleaned everythin’ out.”

He opened his hand and nestled in his palm was a mortar and pestle made of dark stone. It was small and clearly meant for human use and for a moment, Nenani was very confused. Looking up at the spice master, she tilted her head in bafflement.

“It was Kent’s,” Farris explained. “He’d been gettin’ frustrated about bein’ useless, so I threatened ‘im that if he didn’t quit ‘is gripin’ I’d go ahead and give ‘im something to keep ‘im busy. Little bastard called my bluff. So I had this made fer ‘im.”

Farris plucked the tiny object from his palm and set it in front of Nenani. “Taught ‘im how to mix tinctures for Yaesha and that was ‘is job.”

She grabbed the stone pestle in her hands and lifted. It was heavy and large with her hands barely fitting around it. The inside of the mortar’s bowl and the end of the pestle were both rough surfaced while everything else was a smooth and polished back.

“And now, it’s yours.”

Nenani looked up at Farris, gaping. “Wha...really?”

He nodded. “Yale’s been teachin’ ya well on the all the herbs and yer picking it up quick. I’ll started ye on simple vinegar based recipes and we’ll work from there.”

Looking to the mortar, she ran her hands along the bowl, feeling the cold stone. The gravity of what this meant was not lost on her and inexplicably, she found her eyes were watering. Blinking them away, she craned her neck to look back at Farris who was watching her.

“Thank you,” she said. “I promise I’ll work really hard to learn.”

Farris smiled, chuckling as he stood up. “And don’t be thinkin’ I’m gonna let ya be slackin’ off just ‘cause ye a lil’un.”

“I am not a slacker,” she told him and Farris laughed loudly.

“Ya certainly won’t be when I’m done with ye.”

[hispeculiartreasure]

All We’ve Got is Time - Chapter Thirteen | B.B.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

AU: If They’d Survived/Post-War/Window Washer!Bucky Barnes

Rating: Teen

Word count: 3,540

Chapter 13/24

Warnings: Language

AN: Spanning the time of Bucky’s entire on-site training, this chapter is pretty different from anything I’ve ever done before. I have a sneaking suspicion y’all are really going to enjoy it. Lemme hear your thoughts when you’re done!

Chapter Twelve

‘All We’ve Got is Time’ Masterlist

July 7, 1946

Dear Bucky,

I can already imagine the panic on your face when I hand this to you at the train station this afternoon. I hope you take my assurance that it isn’t a Dear John letter seriously. I just wanted to give you something to read on your long trip to Pennsylvania. A 10 hour train ride to Pittsburgh and then a 2 hour bus ride to New Castle, I think you told me? I know you packed some textbooks but one can only do so much studying in a 12 hour window - you’ll go crazy. And I’d really appreciate it if you returned semi-sane. But I also wanted to circumvent any uncontrollable emotions I may have during a goodbye, no matter how temporary it may be. In short, you’re very welcome.

I know you’re a big brave combat veteran but I also know this training is a big deal for you. It’s all new material, a new place, new people. A lot of change in a really small amount of time. No matter how much you insist that you’re fine, I’ll still commend you for facing this challenge head on. And I’ll be in your corner as long as you’ll let me. Hopefully you’ll be so busy that you forget about any discomfort you may have.

I have to admit, I’m a bit jealous of you. You know how tough work has been the last week. With Anderson piling more tasks on me while he’s been mysteriously out of the office and Flannery being even more strict on how the office is run after the Fourth of July debacle, my job has been exhausting. What I’d give to leave it behind for a while, to learn useful, practical skills. Alas, it wasn’t meant to be - well, I guess I already had my turn, huh? I’m hoping you’ll let me live vicariously through you over the next month. Write to let me know all about what you’re learning and how you’re feeling about it, if you want to. Who knows, you may be able to teach me a thing or two when you get back. But not more than two. That’d be far-fetched. Don’t forget, I did teach you everything you know.

See you in 34 days. That’s doable, right? What am I supposed to do with myself with all this free time? You’ve put quite the cramp in my social life, apparently. I’ll have to see what kind of trouble I can get in without you.

Hope to hear from you soon.

Be good,

Your Girl

July 8, 1946

Sixth Floor,

Gotta admit, you shoving a piece of paper into my hands as you pushed me onto the train did take me by surprise. After the split second of panic I realized you’d miss me too much if you let me go. But in all seriousness, thank you for writing that letter. Kinda felt like I got to carry a little bit of you with me here. That’s cheesy. Nevermind. 

I haven’t written a letter since I was discharged from the army, so I apologize if I’m a little rusty. It’ll be especially strange since my CO won’t be reading it or redacting any information. I’ll have to get Becca to show you some of the letters I sent home - most of the time half of what I wrote had been blacked out due to “sensitive information”. Towards the end of the war my letters were short and sweet, just telling everyone I was alive and okay. I don’t get the impression that the teachers here will have much interest in my mail. Time will tell. But I do remember in the beginning that writing down things that had happened to me over there was helpful. Like I could get a tragic event out of my head with just a pen. Writing down helped make sense of it somehow. Hopefully these letters will have the same effect.

While I technically wrote this on the train, by the time I get this to a post office I’ll have made it to New Castle safely. When I was young we never traveled very far out of the city, so ironically the most “country” I’ve seen was in Europe and it was nowhere near as pleasant as here. Places that have had the ever-loving shit bombed out of them can hardly be called pleasant. Maybe getting out of the city will be good for my head. Like you said, being able to get away from the usual responsibilities to focus only on this training will be a nice break, I think. And a vacation from washing windows. I’m gonna get spoiled.

You called me on my bluff and I like to think I’m an honest man. To be real honest with you. . . I’m nervous. Part of me wonders if I even have what it takes to finish out this training. But I’ll take your word for it. If you think I can do it, you can’t be completely wrong, can you? And don’t worry, the problem won’t be ‘how long will Bucky keep me in his corner’ but closer to ‘will Bucky ever let me OUT of his corner?’. The answer will probably be no. To be determined.

Don’t be afraid to share about your days, too. Maybe it’ll make me a little less homesick, if I get to that point. And I know your days will be infinitely harder without me there by your side. Whatever will you do? I really wish you could be here, though.

33 days better pass quickly, for your sake and for mine. 

Yours,

Bucky

July 12, 1946

Dearest Bucky,

If you can’t actually address a letter with my real name instead of using “Sixth Floor” I’m going to find an embarrassing nickname for you so the postal worker snickers when they hand letters over to you, see how you like it.

It’s been a fairly innocuous week. A quiet one, that’s for sure. Just been trying to keep my head down and avoid Anderson as much as I can. Suzy has dragged me out for dinner and drinks a few times to keep me busy. She says hi, by the way. And she demanded I tell you that if you don’t come back soon, I’m going to drive her crazy with my “mopey-ness”. Also, you owe her a drink for cheering me up while you’re gone - she’ll collect when you return. The other girls are doing great; Alice got married and is moving upstate with her husband, so we’ve got a new girl taking her place. She seems sweet, but extremely shy and quiet. Hopefully she warms up to us soon.

Funnily enough, it’s my turn to write a letter on a train. Earlier this week Mom called and complained about not seeing me often enough since I moved into the city, so I’m on my way to Tarrytown. I hadn’t realized I’ve stayed in town every single weekend since we’d gone steady. Guess I’ve had a good reason to keep my plans open, huh? 

Mom also fished around for when I’d come back next even though I haven’t even arrived yet. In her round-about-way, she hinted that she wants me home for Halloween. I can’t blame her, I’ve never not been home for the festivities. I was going to buy my ticket in advance and began to wonder if I should buy two. One for me, one for you? I mean, if you would like to visit Tarrytown with me the weekend before Halloween? The 31st is a Thursday, which puts a damper on things, but it’ll still be a blast. Mom mentioned wanting to meet this “mysterious new friend” that’s kept me in New York so often.

Since I had the pleasure of meeting your family, I thought I should return the favor and ask if you’d like to meet my parents? If that’s something you’re not comfortable with, I understand being that it’s way ahead of time and a fairly intimate situation. I’m sorry, I’m not being very eloquent am I? You don’t need to make a decision. Just think about it.

How’s it been? Are you getting along with everyone? Tell me everything!

We’re down to 29 days, but that still feels far too long. 

Truly,

My Name is Not Sixth Floor

July 17, 1946

Dear Sassafras,

Buy 2 tickets to Tarrytown. I’m looking forward to spending Halloween with your folks. You’ll have to try a lot harder than that to scare me off.

Have we gone steady? I don’t remember asking you. Did you hypnotize me? Please advise. (Hopefully you can read my teasing tone and not leave me heartbroken as a result of this horrible joke)

Tell Suzy I’ll happily buy her a drink as long as she keeps guys in bars away from you, huh? All is well here. The guys are okay, but they’re not you. No one is you. But chatting passes the time and they’re easy enough to get along with. It’s interesting to see all the different paths that have led us here, all our different motivations. There are people here from all over. I thought I had to travel a long way, but the guy from Maine’s got me beat. His letters take longer to travel too, makes me grateful I get to hear from you fairly often.

I know this doesn’t come as a surprise to you but the training has been tough work. Motor oil is permanently stained into my skin, I’m convinced. But I have to admit that everything you taught me gave me a definite leg-up on most of the other students. I was the only one who could replace a spark plug successfully on the first try. They didn’t believe me when I told them my girl showed me how. Obviously they don’t know my girl.

I was daydreaming the other day about something you whispered to me at Steve’s birthday dinner. It was right after you had finished chatting with Peggy. You kinda tucked yourself into my side when you slid back into the booth, you just grabbed my hand almost wondered out loud, ‘What kind of cake do you like? I wanna know so I make sure you get in on your birthday’. My birthday isn’t even until March, but you were still thinking about me and wanted to have the little bit of info to save for later. The fact that you had ‘for later’ in mind . . .  I think about that a lot.

How are we only at 24 days? Seems like time should be passing faster.

Always,

Bucky

July 22, 1946

James Buchanan,

You’re right, that is a terrible joke. Never do that again or you’ll find I’ve died of a heart attack. Ya big tease.

Speaking of Steve, I dropped by y’all’s apartment on my way home from work to return that book I’d borrowed and we ended up talking for a while. It’s funny, I don’t know if I ever voiced this to you, but he is absolutely nothing that I expected him to be. We were so engrossed in talking about art and literature that I ended up staying way longer than planned, making him late for dinner with Peggy. Hopefully she wasn’t too upset about it. He’s so easy to be around, to let my defenses down with him. I’m really really glad you have him in your life, Bucky. He’s solid, he’s kind, he’s loyal. Knowing him by knowing you has been a treat.

Not to be a downer, but things with Anderson seem to be turning worse. I’m getting up my nerve to talk to Flannery about it. He’s been extra grouchy and demanding. Either he’s raging in his office or he disappears for days at a time. I can’t pick up the slack anymore. And the way he’s been eyeing the new girl - did I tell you her name was Marjorie? I can’t remember - makes me anxious. Something just doesn’t feel right. I don’t want to kick up a fuss, but I’m also reaching the end of my rope and want to look out for the other girls.

Anyway, on to happier things. I remember my hands were covered in all kinds of stains for a while after training, too. Have they taught you to weld yet? That was one of my favorite lessons, welding to fix damage or create a new part. Glad to hear you’re working hard and learning a bunch. And I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little smug at my having played a small role in your success. I knew you had it in you. Now please don’t prove me wrong out of spite.

You’re such a sweet talker, Barnes, you’re gonna make me shed a tear before this is all over. Of course I think about the ‘for later’s. I like learning the little things about you. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in the big picture stuff, we forget about the small details that are even more a part of making us who we are, ya know?

By the way, I’ll kick your ass in 18 days for addressing your letter to Ms. Sassafras Pants. If you won’t properly address, I won’t properly sign. Do you even remember my real name at this point? I got some input from Steve and he recommended a nickname, but it was too offensive for a postman’s eye to put on the outside of the envelope - contrary to popular belief, I do have a reputation to uphold. I’ll let him write it in the postscript. 

Always yours, 

Sixth Floor

(I’d rather be Sixth Floor than Sassafras)

P.S. I only told her to call you a dumbass. -SR

July 27, 1946

Sixth Floor,

I hope you appreciate your proper name on the envelope this time. But please let me keep calling you by your nickname inside. Sound like a deal?

Anderson hasn’t made you feel unsafe, has he? Are you okay? Do I need to send Steve over to teach him a lesson? I trust you’re fully capable of looking after yourself, but a visit from Captain America couldn’t hurt, could it? You know he’d be there in a heartbeat if you asked.  I hope the conversation with Flannery was helpful. Keep your eyes and ears open, your gut feelings are usually right. Lemme know what I can do, I feel useless sitting all the way in Pennsylvania.

 I feel like I’m starting to get overwhelmed by all the information. Training isn’t over for a couple more months, I know that, and having Harvey’s help makes me feel a little better. But some days I wonder if I’m cut out for this. If I’m smart enough for it. Can I even fake it good enough to pass? Sorry for rambling. Just processing, I guess. Don’t know if I could ever say that out loud.

But did you know they’re starting to talk about putting telephones in the radios of cars? Isn’t that crazy? And apparently new models are going to have power-operated windows. Guess the future is coming fast. I’ve also discovered that I hate carburetors with every fiber of my being and they hate me back. The majority of the time it feels good to work with my hands, to keep my brain busy. As an aside, when were you planning on telling me you knew how to weld? Envisioning you handling a welding gun is both adorable and incredibly attractive. Is that too much? Probably. Oh well.

I miss you. 2 weeks left ‘til I’m home. August 10th, please come quick.

Thinking of you,

Dumbass

P.S. Steve - write me letters your damn self if you miss me so much. Dumbass. 

August 1, 1946

My dearest Bucky,

I get to see you this month - that feels so good to say! We’ve almost made it! Given the timing of our past letters this is probably my last one before I get to hug you. I miss you so much, but honestly, writing letters has been fun. Our relationship blossomed from only speaking with our hands and mouthing words, and here we are now, only using the written word. We’ve come full circle, huh?

Truly, I don’t think I’m in danger at work. Just extremely irritated and on guard. I don’t feel the need to involve Steve at this point, or Peggy. Let’s be honest, she could take him down in the most satisfactory way that would definitely tarnish the symbol of Captain America. You’re sweet to worry, though. Just keep listening, that’s all I ask right now.

I had dinner with Becca last night. I hope that’s okay, I don’t want to cross any kind of boundary that would make you uncomfortable. We had such a pleasant time, though. I feel like we are both so very similar, having overcome a lot of the same struggles. We bonded over our parents worrying about us ending up as old maids and the trouble they had with us working rather than homemaking. Your mom sent cookies with Becca. To be fully transparent, I definitely ate the entire sack that night. Think Winnifred will teach me her ways? Also, I had no idea how interesting being a telephone operator is - the stories Becca had to tell about the people she interacts with! She’s a saint and hilarious and I adore her. She also had some incredibly interesting stories about you. . . we should discuss how angry Monopoly makes you. . . I’m tempted to play a game with you, Steve, and Peggy - I’m aware that could rocket us into another world war, but it’d be fun to watch, no? 

I don’t have the words to describe how proud of you I am. I know it hasn’t been easy, I know change can be hard. I know you have doubts. But you are so close to finishing, to reaching a major milestone in your career. I have full faith in you - you can do this. Me, Harvey, Becca, Steve, and everyone else is rooting for you. And if it doesn’t work out, so what? You tried something, you put in work and effort. Finding something you don’t like is just as helpful as finding something you do. You have other options, you always do. I mean, we know you are an impeccable window washer, so. . . Whichever way you decide to go, I’m with you for the ride. 

Only 9 days left. I can’t wait to see you at the train station.

Affectionately yours,

Sixth Floor

August 6, 1946

Darling Sixth Floor,

The more I think about it, the more I realize that being here has been helpful in a lot of ways I didn’t expect. I’ve bounced from being surrounded by family, then an army, the Commandos, and back to family, I haven’t really had space to figure out who I am away from all of that. I’m still working on finding that out, but the breathing room has been. . . enlightening. Is that word too hoity-toity? Probably. Oh well, you can make fun of me for it in a few days. As nice as it’s been to get away from the city, my fingers are itching for New York. Doesn’t hurt that you’re there.

You having dinner with Bec doesn’t bother me a bit. I’m a little worried you’ll like her more than you like me, but I guess we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. Whatever she told you about Monopoly is a lie - I did not throw anything, she is the agressive board game addict. Unfortunately as per the Howlies, Peggy and Steve are not allowed to play Monopoly together. We tried when we were snowed in to camp one winter and I’m not exaggerating when I say they almost killed each other. Well, Peggy almost killed Steve. Those nails of hers are lethal, you know.

Ma would be thrilled if you asked her to help you bake, although you will be in danger of her never letting you leave the kitchen ever again. The woman has a lot of wisdom to impart and all the time in the world. This may sound weird but. . . I like you getting along with my family. Not sure why. But it feels nice, having you fit in so seamlessly.

One of the guys recently asked how long we’d been together and I really had to think about it for a second before answering. Not to wax poetic, but it’s strange to me that we’ve only known each other since April. Four months of knowing you and continuing to know you every day. You’re so familiar to my life now, I can hardly imagine a time when you weren’t in it.

Thank you for having faith in me. Thank you for being an encourager. Thank you for opening up this new life to me. The world has only gotten brighter since you walked into that skyscraper all those months ago.

By the time you get this, I’ll probably be within a few hours of home. But as of this moment, I’ll see you in 4 days. I can’t wait.

See you soon,

Your Window Washer

Chapter Fourteen

TAGS:

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[marlahey]

to the anon from last night re: maxence

the ask broke the read more again and my reply was massive so I’ve copied and pasted all your messages and my response below. 

side note does anyone know why the html for small text doesn’t work anymore??

[Not been on SM all week as seeing reposts of PoC murders is too triggering for me (I’m a 21 year old French black guy). Reading the stuff people wrote about maxence, all I have to say is that you and others were too focused on telling people off who were calling for action rather than fighting for black lives. People shouldn’t have sent them abuse, no. That was wrong, and most people have been acknowledging that. (Part 1)

[But axel at least uploaded a permanent show of support, whereas Maxence’s support has disappeared to his massive influence. It’s not a pedestal, it’s basic human decency in a time of crisis. Yes he posted petitions but they disappeared. Black lives don’t stop mattering after a 24 hour story. Please don’t police when black people ask for more from white allies in positions of power.

My Instagram posts get 100 likes, his gets thousands, and a permanent show would mean a lot, especially as France has such a racist history and present. Consider why people are asking for more before berating them for it, please. Not all who want to see lasting action are being rude, and while it’s great that he shared petitions, they only existed in his world for 24 hours, but the fight for racial equality lasts much longer. Consider that reality before dismissing critics of “putting celebrities on a pedestal.” It is not unjust for us to ask for action from people who in interviews frequently talk about their support for causes but don’t use the tools that best equip them to help. It’s great maxence went to the protest, I’m not saying he’s done nothing, but his most powerful tool is not his presence but his social media outreach and the thousands he could guide with a permanent link. Racism isn’t temporary. Please really consider this, and you’re own privileges, before dismissing people asking for help as being immature. Don’t lump everyone into the same boat. Don’t tar those with reasonable intentions with the same brush as those shouting abuse. Try and evaluate why your reaction was so blocked off to their plight. It is not unreasonable to ask those with power to help where they can, whether it’s money or SM reach or whatever you are equipped with. We have the right to ask for more.]

Hi anon. I appreciate that you’ve been away for your own health and safety, so I wish I knew specifically to which ask/post of mine you’re responding to. because I got several asks this week that devolved into lengthy responses; I’m hoping it wasn’t just the shortest post because I’d effectively run out of internet steam at that point and it does seem really dismissive outside the context of the rest of my blog/me as an actual person. that’s not my intention at all and I apologize if it comes across that way. I mentioned these things in another asks, but I’m not even sure how to respond to you now without trying to justify or validate my own actions to support the blm movement as an east-asian woman, my personal experiences with racism in canada and abroad – even literally in france as I lived there for a short period of time when I was 21 – or sounding like a jerk when talking about my first career as a teacher and my graduate education in media studies and communication. they frame a lot of my current thinking about the internet and celebrity culture, which I feel really strongly about even outside of this pivotal moment in global socio-political activism and black lives matter. but neither are the point here. to start, I completely agree with the everlasting nature of racism and the power of social media in general (stories vs post with a fucked up algorithm on insta is a whole other discussion, but I see your point in concept). I’m very aware of its impact and I would never purposefully suggest that you had no right to ask for support and allyship from those in positions of power – especially those who are white. I’m sorry again any post(s) of mine implied that. nor do I willfully accuse everyone who was calling for maxence’s more permanent support as being abusive or immature – I’m very able to separate the two and I obviously only condemn the assholes. asks that I personally received justified that behaviour with a ‘right motive, wrong message’ argument and a lot of condescension towards him, which is what I found more problematic than anything else they said. my personal expectations for any celebrity in the area of social justice (or general world awareness, frankly) are absurdly low. but that’s due to the lens of my own experience and education. that’s not to diminish or ignore their very real influence. I’m not sure how to phrase it without coming across like a complete weirdo, hipster, or porch sitting and fist shaking millennial, so I’m not going to try. I would also be an asshole to suggest that you’re objectively wrong in any way, because you aren’t. I have done this same labour for people in my own life, as someone who lives at the intersection of almost every minority qualifier – from woman all the way over to disabled person. but I’m still not a black person. I have a strange semi-privilege as the “model minority” (ugh) in a country where the most predominant and systemic racism is against an entirely different group of people. I feel like anything else I say about maxence specifically is going to sound like defending him no matter what, so I guess I can only talk about myself. social media and celebrities don’t carry real weight in my life. they don’t change the way I view anything besides the actual mechanisms of the internet, mass communication, and an ever-descending opinion of popular culture at large. but that’s a generally weird stance as a 28 year old so I try not to overly broadcast it. but it doesn’t mean these things don’t impact others. I enjoy what and whom I enjoy with a measured amount of critical thinking. I’ve had this blog since I was about your age, maybe a little longer, and this is the first time several people have genuinely come at me for innocuous tags or an offhand reply to a friend’s post despite a reasonably medium number of followers. it was a little overwhelming. that seems dumb to say but it was a hard week for a lot of other reasons, including the obvious, and everything felt a lot more intense than normal.  I don’t send anonymous asks ever, but there’s no other option than to publicly respond when you receive them, which means we have to have these discussions in a very visible way. that’s either great or not, depending on the ask. I’d much rather engage personally, but so is the internet. I would hope that no one who’s been following me since I was 21 would think as poorly of me as you may, or other anons have. but you don’t know me personally at all and that’s okay. it would be strange to say I don’t want asks at all because that’s the fun of community and interaction, but I guess I can only speak to my own thoughts on my own blog and they will be interpreted a million different ways that are out of my control. I accept that. I apologize for my part in detracting from a larger and way more important time in everyone’s life – especially yours. again, never my intention. I hope that you are safe despite everything that’s going on. if you ever need support, I’m happy to offer some. thank you for the conversation.

[koenigsideblog]

[30/03/2020] 

Okay so I keep seeing what's basically all the same suggestions for how to cope while the world is shut down going around in twenty million different posts, and most of it is all “maintain your routine” and “self improvement!” and it’s all a thinly disguised briefing in "how to make sure you are in optimal shape to resume service to your corporate masters as soon as they emerge from their bunkers". Fuck that. Fuck getting up at your usual time and wearing your usual clothes. This may be the greatest chance you ever get to be a human being as opposed to a human doing, not to mention to catch up on years of sleep debt and missed opportunities. Do you instead of doing what you’d usually do.

So given this, here are a few things I will be doing and would recommend to others, if you’re stuck at home without duties for the next few weeks and have the freedom to do them:

- When bedtime arrives, stick your alarm clock in a drawer on the other side of the house and just go to bed. Wait as long as you have to before sleep comes to you, then sleep until you wake up. Let your body have full authority over its own natural processes for once. Remember that a fully rested human being is one who feels like they want to get out of bed when they wake up.

- Experiment with your circadian rhythm. Try going to bed at sunset and see what it's like to wake up naturally at sunrise. Try staying up till 3am and then going out for your permitted exercise (if that’s a thing and there isn't a night-time curfew in your region, of course) to see a side of your home area that you've probably never seen before. Over the course of the next couple of weeks, explore the clock thoroughly. Find out which hours in the twentyfour are your favourites. Consider applying this information when figuring out what to do with your life once the world starts up again.

- Do not use this period as an opportunity to binge watch/read/listen to everything that people have been telling you you need to catch up on. Any new media that you consume in quantity now is media you will be unable to return to for the rest of your life without having flashbacks to the Plague Year and that will suck. Instead, I recommend going back to old media that already has strong positive associations and will take you back to somewhere good. Binge on movies from your childhood, albums from your teens, the books you loved back when you still had time to read a whole one in a day. Check in with your past self and remember who you are.

- Now is your chance to have a ball with your appearance and not wear the same clothes you do on a regular day. Give yourself a ridiculous haircut. Grow your beard or shave it off. Grow a handlebar moustache. Shave your legs, or alternatively decide that you're damned if you're shaving your legs for the next three months. Get a set of (NON-TOXIC) felt tip pens and give yourself the temporary tattoo of your dreams. Wear your wedding dress, wear your tuxedo, wear your cosplay gear around the house for the heck of it. Fall back in love with all the clothes you own but never get round to wearing.

- Similarly, open and start using up every single damn bar of gift soap and box of fancy candy and special scented candle that you've been "saving". Eat your stockpiled ramen off your best Christmas-and-birthdays crockery. Enjoy everything you own as much as you can. This is not the time to be saving things for later that you've already saved for years. "Later" just arrived. Play with all the things now.

- If you feel alone and wish you were somewhere loud and bright and full of happiness, going and watching live footage of your favourite bands or musical shows on Youtube is good for the soul. This is also a great time to buy official live show recordings if bands or productions you like have released them. They will be very grateful for the income and you will feel better for watching.

- At least once during your lockdown period, turn your internet access off for at least a full twentyfour hours. Live as your ancestors lived. Experience the sensation of unalloyed cognitive privacy, free from interruptions, derails, manipulation and notifications. Find out how you feel about yourself and the world when you aren't constantly getting everyone else's running commentary on everything and aren't editing yourself for public consumption.

- Lots of people are taking this opportunity to get back in touch with long-lost friends and family, or make new contacts. There is nothing inherently wrong with this. If you want to do it then I encourage you. However, when people reach out to you, remember that someone who was a 24-carat jackass to you years ago is owed nothing now. If you get a message from someone who swears they're sorry for how they treated you and "this is bigger than that, can we let bygones be bygones," etc, feel a hundred percent free to block them without a reply if you want to. They could've apologised to you any time in the last three or ten or twenty years. If they're only doing it now, then they're doing it out of a sense of their own mortality and an itchy conscience, and they don't truly have anything good to offer you.

- Relatedly, this is a very good time to work out who you don’t want in your life, as well as who you do. If there's anyone who you're breathing a sigh of relief at the prospect of not having to see until lockdown is over? Give some thought to reorganising your affairs such that you won't have to see them then either.

Good luck everyone. Hang in there and see you on the other side.

[bountyofbeads]

https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/2020/03/11/coronavirus-live-updates/

LIVE UPDATES: WHO DECLARES CORONAVIRUS A PANDEMIC; ITALY HALTS NEARLY ALL COMMERCIAL ACTIVITY

By Alex Horton, Miriam Berger, Lateshia Beachum, Hannah Knowles and Michael Brice-Saddler | Published March 11 at 7:19 PM ET | Washington Post | Posted March 11, 2020 |

The World Health Organization declared coronavirus a pandemic, with WHO Director-General Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus saying: “We are deeply concerned both by the alarming levels of spread and severity — and by the alarming levels of inaction.”

The WHO’s Wednesday declaration came as the number of known novel coronavirus cases surpassed 120,000 worldwide. Speaking on Capitol Hill, Anthony Fauci, the long-standing director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infection Diseases declared “it’s going to get worse.”

President Trump said he will address the nation at 9 p.m.

In the United States, where there are now more than 1,000 cases, the White House is considering moving all of Europe to a Level 3 travel advisory, discouraging all nonessential travel to those regions. Meanwhile, Italy tried to stymie coronavirus’s spread by ordering a halt to nearly all commercial activity, aside from supermarkets and pharmacies.

HERE ARE THE LATEST DEVELOPMENTS :

*The Dow reached bear-market territory on a nearly 1,500-point skid as panic intensified about the coronavirus, which threatens to debilitate global economies and bring on a recession.

*Ohio will limit large gatherings; Washington state introduced similar measures in a few counties. The NCAA announced that its basketball tournaments will be held without fans in attendance.

*India’s health ministry announced it was suspending all existing visas from across the world till April 15.

*German Chancellor Angela Merkel warned Wednesday that up to 70 percent of her country could end up infected.

_____

08:19 PM: WORK-FROM-HOME AT GOOGLE EXPOSES CLASS DIVIDE: CONTRACTORS VS. FULL-TIME

Growing fears around the spread of coronavirus have exposed class divides in the tech industry’s two-tiered system for white collar workers, where contractors do similar work as full-time employees — such as engineering or product management — but often for no equity, less pay, and fewer benefits.

Google on Tuesday publicized extending safety protections to contractors, including establishing a covid-19 fund to provide paid sick leave for contingent workers if they have symptoms or are quarantined. The company also advised employees in North America to work from home until at least April 10, according to a Tuesday email viewed by The Post.

But some Google contractors say they are still in limbo, unsure if they can exercise those benefits. On Wednesday, Google’s office in Pittsburgh was a ghost town, save for contractors employed by HCL Technologies, who work on Google Shopping. HCL employees in Pittsburgh, who recently unionized, believe it’s technically feasible to perform their job from home, if given permission. However, workers were told Wednesday afternoon that HCL is still talking to Google and can’t provide an update for 24 to 48 hours.

In the midst of that uncertainty, one contractor whose wife had symptoms of coronavirus came into Google’s Pittsburgh office Wednesday, another HCL employee told The Post, noting that dogs are no longer allowed in the Pittsburgh office as a temporary precaution. “So even dogs are more important of a priority than us,” he said.

HCL did not immediately respond to request for comment. In a statement to The Post, Google spokesperson Jenn Kaiser said, “To serve our users and keep our products running, some work, performed by Google employees, temporary staff and vendors alike, can only be done by people physically present at offices. We’re taking all necessary and recommended precautions, including increased sanitization and social distancing, a public health best practice.”

By: Nitasha Tiku

____

08:04 PM: ELECTIONS OFFICIALS scramble for OPTIONS AS VIRUS WORRIES MOUNT

Elections officials have stocked up on hand sanitizer and disinfecting wipes. Many are urging voters to cast absentee ballots or vote early to avoid crowds.

But as the coronavirus pandemic worsens, local and state officials are scrambling to identify other options if public health leaders ultimately determine that there are risks to visiting polling places — an assessment that could change the basic mechanics of running an election midstream in a presidential campaign year.

“If you’re talking about something on that level, then we’re clearly facing a crisis and not just an emergency, and public health and safety will have to dictate whatever we do,” said Ohio Secretary of State Frank LaRose, who said he would follow the advice of public health officials and law enforcement.

"One of the very few things that would take precedent over a free and fair election is public health and safety, right?” LaRose said, adding that such a move would be a last resort.

Read more about the effort to keep elections virus-free.

By: ELISE VIEBECK

____

07:59 PM: NBA discusses coronavirus response but doesn’t immediately announce plan for games, fan attendance

The NBA’s Board of Governors held a conference call Wednesday to discuss the league’s coronavirus response options, but reached no consensus as to whether games should proceed as normal, whether they should be held without fans in attendance, or

_____

07:19 PM: U.S. EMBASSY EMPLOYEE IS JAMAICANS SECOND CASE

A U.S. Embassy employee in Kingston, Jamaica, has become the island nation’s second confirmed case of the novel coronavirus, Jamaican Health Minister Chris Tufton announced on Twitter late Wednesday.

The U.S. State Department did not immediately respond to a request for comment.

Confirmation of the case came one day after Jamaica announced that a female British national, who arrived in the country on March 4, had tested positive for the virus.

Though far from the epicenter of the crisis, Jamaica is grappling with the fallout, facing a loss of 50,000 cruise ship passengers in recent weeks and a sharp falloff in some tourism-related business. The country has set up strict health protocols aimed at preventing the spread of the virus and has led at least one cruise ships to bypass its port in Ocho Rios. It has also effectively barred one vessel due to reports of sick passengers aboard.

Across Jamaica, nearly three dozen people remain quarantined after traveling to countries reporting large numbers of cases. The Jamaican government has also banned travel to and from China, Iran, South Korea, Italy and Singapore and suspended flights from Spain, France and Germany.

By: ANTHONY FABIOLA

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07:15 PM: HOW MUCH WORSE IS CORONAVIRUS GOING TO GET IN U.S.? NEW FORECASTS AND MODELS ARE GRIM

A rash of alarming forecasts about the coronavirus pandemic emerged Wednesday. The World Health Organization officially declared it a pandemic. German Chancellor Angela Merkel said 70 percent of Germany’s population could become infected. Meanwhile, new models painted a grim picture of what worst-case scenario might look like.

“Bottom line, it’s going to get worse,” Anthony Fauci, long-standing director of the U.S. National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, said at a congressional hearing.

Experts have produced forecasts of likely infections, serious illnesses and death tolls, based on what is known about the novel coronavirus and how past epidemics have played out, and they suggest that the United States — which has surpassed 1,000 confirmed novel-coronavirus infections and 30 deaths — must prepare for a potentially historic pandemic.

One forecast, developed by former CDC director Tom Frieden at the nonprofit organization Resolve to Save Lives, found that deaths in the United States could range widely, depending on what percentage of the population gets infected and how lethal the disease proves to be. Frieden, who oversaw the 2009 H1N1 influenza pandemic, the 2014 Ebola epidemic and the 2016 Zika epidemic, says in a worst-case scenario, but one that is not implausible, half the U.S. population would get infected and more than 1 million people would die.

But the model’s range varied widely from 327 (best case) to 1,635,000 (worst case). The deaths would not necessarily happen over a month or a year, but could happen in two or three years, he said.

By: JOEL ACHENBACH, WILLIAM WAN and LENA H. SUN

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06:57 PM: El SALVADOR BEGINS NATIONWIDE QUARANTINE DESPITE HAVING NO CONFIRMED CASES

El Salvador’s president, Nayib Bukele, announced Wednesday that the country — which does not have a single confirmed coronavirus case — will begin a nationwide quarantine that will last for 30 days.

Schools will be closed for 21 days. “I know this will be criticized, but let’s put ourselves in Italy’s shoes. Italy wishes they could’ve done this before,” he said.

“Our health system is not at Italy’s level, it’s not at South Korea’s level,” he added.

Earlier, Bukele banned travel from China, South Korea, Italy, Iran, France, Spain and Germany.

By: KEVIN SIEFF

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06:35 PM: CAPITOL PREPARES TO SHUT DOWN PUBLIC TOURS

The Capitol is preparing to shut down public tours because of the growing coronavirus pandemic, according to two congressional officials.

The announcement is being prepared by the House and Senate sergeant-at-arms, according to the officials, who spoke on the condition of anonymity ahead of the official notification. Between 3 and 5 million tourists, from both the United States and abroad, visit Capitol Hill each year, according to the Architect of the Capitol.

Lawmakers have generally resisted efforts to stop legislative operations even as the outbreak expands, continuing to hold hearings and conduct business.

By: SEUNG MIN KIM

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06:26 PM: PRESSURED BY TRUMP ADMINISTRATION, CRUISE INDUSTRY TO RESTRICT OLDER TRAVELERS IN RESPONSE TO CORONAVIRUS

Responding to a directive from the federal government, the beleaguered cruise industry has crafted a coronavirus response plan that will keep more people off its ships.

Passengers who are 70 and older will be required to produce a doctor’s note attesting that they are healthy enough to take a cruise, according to a source familiar with the plan who was not authorized to speak publicly about it. That person said keeping the most vulnerable population off ships was a priority of the Trump administration. About 14 percent of cruise passengers in 2018 — about 4 million people — were 70 or older, an industry report showed.

USA Today first reported details of the plan Wednesday.

Travelers will be warned frequently before a trip that anyone with underlying health conditions is heavily discouraged from getting on a cruise ship. Those who are obviously ill will not be allowed to board, according to the source.

All passengers will be subject to a temperature check before they can get on a ship, and those with a reading of 100.4 degrees or higher will not be allowed to sail.

The Cruise Lines International Association had previously announced that anyone who had visited Iran, South Korea or China, including Macao and Hong Kong, or areas in Italy subject to government lockdown, within the past 14 days, would not be allowed to board. The new plan expands that list to include all of Italy as well as Japan.

According to the source, the plan also addresses testing passengers for the virus while they are on ships and how cruise lines will pay for the care of sick passengers or crew so that the burden doesn’t fall on the U.S. government. The source described it as “a pretty hefty investment by the industry.”

By: HANNAH SAMPSON

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06:11 PM: HOSPITAL INDUSTRY ASKS WHITE HOUSE TO DECLARE A NATIONAL EMERGENCY

Hospital industry leaders are urging the Trump administration to declare the covid-19 outbreak a national emergency or a national disaster to “ensure that health care services and sufficient health care items are available to respond.”

During a Wednesday afternoon meeting at the White House with Vice President Pence and Seema Verma, administrator of the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services, the American Hospital Association’s president and several hospital chief executives said the federal public health emergency declared at the end of January is inadequate.

The meeting echoed a letter to the vice president sent on Tuesday by Richard Pollack, the hospital association’s president. The letter explained that only with a national emergency or disaster could the government loosen a variety of health-care rules, helping to cope with a surge of seriously ill, infected patients.

According to the letter, a declared emergency or disaster would, for instance, eliminate a Medicare rule that patients need to have been hospitalized for at least three nights before the vast insurance program for older Americans pays for nursing home stays — freeing hospital beds more quickly for the sickest patients with the new virus. It also would help patients stay longer in certain types of small rural hospitals, as well as making it easier for doctors licensed in one state to pitch in elsewhere, where the outbreak is particularly severe.

The letter noted that the government has loosened such rules after major hurricanes and floods and during the swine flu pandemic a decade ago.

The hospital leaders also urged the White House to provide federal help for the testing and care of people exposed to the coronavirus who are uninsured.

By: AMY GOLDSTEIN

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06:09 PM: SENATE DEMOCRATS URGE TRUMP TO UTILIZE $40 BILLION IN DISASTER RELIEF FUNDS TO COMBAT CORONAVIRUS

Three dozen Senate Democrats on Wednesday sent a letter to Trump urging him to immediately consider state disaster declaration requests in order to release more than $40 billion in federal relief funds.

In their letter, the senators called on Trump to invoke the 1988 Stafford Act, which enables the Federal Emergency Management Agency to coordinate disaster relief efforts. Members of Trump’s coronavirus task force have discussed doing so, officials have told The Washington Post in recent days.

“It is crucial that your administration employ a whole-of-government approach in responding to COVID-19,” the senators wrote. “This includes working closely with state, local, and tribal officials and providing necessary resources to those on the frontlines. We strongly urge FEMA to stand ready to provide emergency protective measures to prevent and mitigate the spread of disease, save lives, and protect public health and safety, should any state request assistance.”

The release of the letter comes hours before Trump is expected to address the nation in a prime-time address from the Oval Office.

By: FELICIA SONMEZ

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05:53 PM: FIVE MORE DEATHS AT ASSISTED-LIVING FACILITIES REPORTED IN WASHINGTON STATE IN ONE DAY

Washington state announced five more coronavirus fatalities on Wednesday, all linked to nursing homes or assisted-living facilities. The news pushed the nationwide death count to at least 36; 29 of those are in Washington state.

King County, where most of the deaths have occurred amid nursing home outbreaks, reported four more deaths and 44 new patients. The county, which includes Seattle, now has 234 confirmed cases.

The newly announced deaths include three residents at Life Care Center, the facility where the outbreak has been especially horrific and where staff say they have seen patients go from showing no symptoms to death in a matter of hours. Two of the deceased were in their 90s, one woman in her 60s.

Another King County woman who died in her 90s lived at the Redmond Care and Rehabilitation Center nursing home.

Snohomish County also reported Wednesday that a man in his 80s who was “connected” to an assisted-living facility, Josephine Caring Community, had died.

By: HANNAH KNOWLES

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05:44 PM: BIDEN CANCELS MORE CAMPAIGN EVENTS OVER VIRUS; PENCE STILL SET TO STUMP IN WISCONSIN

In response to the worsening coronavirus outbreak, Biden’s team has canceled additional campaign events in Illinois and Florida to “minimize health risks for staff and supporters” and will hold “virtual events” instead.

The decision comes as the former vice president plans to speak about the global pandemic Thursday. Ahead of those remarks, he has set up his own public health advisory committee with boldface names from the Obama administration, including Vivek H. Murthy, who was surgeon general under President Barack Obama, and Lisa Monaco, former homeland security and counterterrorism adviser to Obama.

The committee will provide “science-based, expert advice,” Biden’s campaign said.

“The campaign’s top priority is and will continue to be the health and safety of the public,” it said. “Members of the committee will provide ongoing counsel to the campaign, which will in turn continue to update the public regarding operational decisions.”

The former vice president’s approach stands in contrast to Trump, who has said that he would continue holding rallies and attending public events and has played down the severity of the spreading virus. In a Fox Business Network interview Wednesday, Trump campaign spokeswoman Kayleigh McEnany claimed without evidence that political considerations — and not coronavirus concerns — are the reason Biden has canceled his events.

Meanwhile, Vice President Pence, who is running the government’s response to the coronavirus outbreak, is still planning to attend a campaign event in Wisconsin next week for a congressional special election as Democrats and many organizations cancel large events.

In a C-SPAN interview Wednesday, Pence was asked whether he was personally concerned about attending these large events.

“I’m not concerned,” he said, “but we’ll follow the facts every single day about what makes the most sense for the American people.”

By: COLBY ITKOWITZ

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05:37 PM: D.C. MAYOR DECLARES STATE OF EMERGENCY AFTER PERSON-TO-PERSON CORONAVIRUS TRANSMISSIONS

D.C. Mayor Muriel E. Bowser (D) declared a state of emergency in the nation’s capital because of coronavirus, giving herself the power to order mandatory quarantines and to crack down on price gouging. Health officials said six more people have tested positive for coronavirus in the District, including two cases where the cause of transmission is unknown. That brings the total number of cases to 10. Officials said person-to-person transmission has started in the District.

Bowser’s emergency declaration came hours after the District urged the cancellations of all mass gatherings through the end of March. Bowser said the city government was pulling all permits for public gatherings and that she could order closure of other gatherings if necessary.

After the rector of Christ Church Georgetown tested positive for coronavirus, the District has asked hundreds of people who visited the church to self-quarantine for 14 days after their last visit. D.C. health officials expanded the self-quarantine to people who visited the church through March 6 after the organist tested positive, including a Saturday funeral where he played.

Bowser has said the city has leased a private facility that can be used to quarantine up to 50 people, but declined to reveal its location. Officials said quarantine orders could be used for people at high risk of exposing the virus to others or those who do not comply with self-quarantine requests.

By: FENIT NIRAPPIL

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05:29 PM: ITALY HALTS NEARLY ALL COMMERCIAL ACTIVITY ASIDE FROM SUPERMARKETS AND PHARMACIES

ROME — Italy on Wednesday ramped up the severity of its national lockdown, ordering a halt to nearly all commercial activity aside from supermarkets and pharmacies, in the latest dramatic step to slow the country’s coronavirus spread.

With the decision, announced by Prime Minister Giuseppe Conte, Italy has engineered nearly as thorough a commercial halt as seems imaginable.

Once the decree takes effect — Conte did not specify when — only the most essential parts of society will continue to function. Farms can still produce food, and factories can still churn out products, but people will have almost no reason to leave the house.

“You’re changing your life’s habits, making sacrifices, but these renunciations are offering a great, precious contribution to the country,” Conte said. “Italy is showing it’s a great community, united and responsible.”

On Monday, Conte had imposed a nationwide lockdown, limiting travel abroad and across regions. With it came other restrictions: the closure of theaters, museums, sporting events. But Italy had still been operating at a crawl. Gelaterias were open, with people lining up a few feet away from one another. Barbershops were open. Cafes were open, with limited hours and restrictions on the number of people allowed inside.

Conte received strong political pressure from politicians in the north, the region at the epicenter of the outbreak, to further tighten the measures as the number of coronavirus cases continues to accelerate. Italy has more than 10,500 active cases, and the number of people who have died of the virus has risen in three days from 366 to 827.

By: CHICO HARLAN

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05:22 PM: MAJOR UNION CALLS ON TRUMP TO PROVIDE TWO WEEKS OF PAID SICK LEAVE FOR EVERY AMERICAN WORKER

United Food and Commercial Workers, the largest private-sector union in the United States with 1.3 million workers in retail and health care, asked President Trump and Congress on Wednesday to pass a new economic aid package that would provide a minimum of two weeks of paid sick leave for all American workers.

The union’s proposed economic package also includes unemployment benefits for workers who have been laid off or had their hours disrupted, payroll tax cuts for lower- and middle-income workers, as well as protection from unfair termination or discrimination for workers suspected of being exposed to coronavirus.

UFCW President Anthony “Marc” Perrone outlined the policy proposal in a letter to Trump, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.), Senate Minority Leader Charles E. Schumer (D-N.Y.) and House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy (R-Calif.). The letter noted that 80 million American workers, or 59 percent of the country’s workforce, are hourly employees who receive payment only for the hours they work.

“Respectfully, I am urging each of our nation’s elected leaders to develop immediate policies that ensure that workers — salaried and hourly — do not have to choose between work and health,” the letter said.

By: NITASHA TIKU

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04:45 PM: NCAA BASKETBALL TOURNAMENTS WILL OPEN WITH NO FANS

The NCAA men’s and women’s basketball tournaments will be played in nearly empty arenas because of concerns about the coronavirus, NCAA President Mark Emmert announced Wednesday afternoon amid swelling recommendations and orders from public officials, one of the most significant public actions in the face of the outbreak in the United States.

The games, which begin Tuesday night in Dayton, Ohio, will be played “with only essential staff and limited family attendance,” Emmert said in a news release.

“While I understand how disappointing this is for all fans of our sports, my decision is based on the current understanding of how covid-19 is progressing in the United States,” he said. “This decision is in the best interest of public health, including that of coaches, administrators, fans and, most importantly, our student-athletes. We recognize the opportunity to compete in an NCAA national championship is an experience of a lifetime for the students and their families. Today, we will move forward and conduct championships consistent with the current information and will continue to monitor and make adjustments as needed.”

By: ADAM KILGORE

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04:44 PM: WHEN’S THE LAST TIME THE WHO DECLARED A GLOBAL PANDEMIC?

The last time the World Health Organization declared a pandemic was during the 2009 H1N1 swine flu, and it triggered aggressive actions, such as millions in spending to buy vaccines.

But H1N1 turned out not to be as deadly and disruptive as feared, and a lot of governments were mad about buying vaccines that they ended up not using and harshly criticized the WHO for its declaration. Burned by that response, WHO got rid of the six-stage procedure that led up to it declaring that flu a pandemic.

“Each time they went up a stage, it raised alarm. When they finally reached pandemic stage it caused enormous panic,” said Lawrence Gostin, global health law professor at Georgetown University. “It was so dysfunctional and caused so much fear and panic that WHO abandoned that approach.”

The WHO’s current approach has been much more vague, essentially leaving it up to leaders to declare a pandemic when they deem it necessary. For weeks now, the WHO has hesitated to make the pandemic declaration for fear of inciting panic and causing some countries to sag in their efforts, even though many epidemiologists believed the coronavirus had already spread to pandemic levels.

“In many ways, whether we’re in a pandemic is a semantic question,” said Alexandra Phelan, a global health lawyer at Georgetown’s Center for Global Health Science and Security.

By: WILLIAM WAN

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04:40 PM: TRUMP CAMPAIGN CLAIMS WITHOUT EVIDENCE THAT BIDEN WAS ‘LOOKING FOR AN EXCUSE TO GET OFF THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL’

In a Fox Business Network interview Wednesday, Trump campaign spokeswoman Kayleigh McEnany claimed, without evidence, that political considerations — and not coronavirus concerns — are the reason Biden has canceled his recent events.

“Joe Biden is looking for an excuse to get off the campaign trail, and let me just add, the media’s best hope is for Donald Trump to suspend his rallies,” McEnany said. “They’ve been wanting him to stop this, they know it’s his avenue to speak directly to the American people. So, we’re going to follow the president’s lead; we’re not going to cave to the media. And Joe Biden, we’re certainly not going to follow his lead as he tries to hide from the American people.”

Biden and Sanders called off their Tuesday night campaign rallies in Ohio after Mike DeWine, the state’s Republican governor, suggested that the campaigns to do so in an effort to stem the spread of the coronavirus.

McEnany also defended Trump’s decision to continue holding large campaign rallies despite the advice of experts, including Anthony S. Fauci, director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases.

“The president is the best authority on this issue,” McEnany said. “He takes into consult the words of everyone around him. That would include [Health and Human Services Secretary] Alex Azar; that would include Dr. Fauci; that would include others. So, I’ll leave it to the president. Right now, we’re proceeding as normal.”

She also said that there is no need for Trump to stop shaking hands with supporters, arguing that it’s part of the president’s job.

“He’s taking precautions, he’s washing his hands — we’re all doing that, but he’s a man of the people, he talks to the people, he shakes their hands. That’s the nature of the business,” she said.

By: FELICIA SONMEZ

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04:31 PM: HEALTH-CARE CLINICS FOR THE POOR FACE SHORTAGES OF PROTECTIVE GEAR

The nation’s community health centers, which care for some of the nation’s most vulnerable patients, are ill-equipped with masks and other protective equipment needed for workers to test and care for people who may have been exposed to the coronavirus, according to a new survey.

The survey in early March of more than 600 health centers in 47 states, sponsored by a private relief organization, found that 1 in 4 such clinics said they had a source that could provide and resupply N95 masks for the next month or two. Half said they did not, while the remaining clinics said they were not sure. Nearly two-thirds said they lacked a supplier to restock latex gloves.

The survey was sponsored by Direct Relief, a California-based aid organization that donated supplies to China early in the coronavirus epidemic and has been turning its attention lately to the United States.

Free clinics and federally funded health centers treat some of the country’s poorest patients. Under the Affordable Care Act, some of their clientele have gotten private health plans or have been able to join Medicaid. But the clinics still tend to be shoestring operations with many uninsured patients. And the federal funding that some receive is often uncertain in Congress until the last minute — as is happening again this year.

The survey found that only about 10 percent of the health centers said they were unconcerned about their ability to handle a surge of patients during the covid-19 epidemic.

By: AMY GOLDSTEIN

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04:27 PM: TRUMP SAYS HE WILL ADDRESS THE NATION TONIGHT

President Trump said he will address the nation Wednesday evening about the coronavirus and that his remarks from the White House will probably be at 9 p.m.

He gave no other details during a brief portion of a meeting with bankers that was open to reporters, other than that he will discuss both economic and health issues.

“We are talking about various forms of stimulus,” he said. Trump added: “The payroll tax would be great. Dems are not in favor of it. I’m trying to figure out why.” Many Republicans also oppose cutting the payroll tax.

Trump has spoken almost daily about the spread of the virus, but until now he had not done so in such a formal setting. The speech is expected to be from the Oval Office, a setting that underscores the national security implications of the spreading virus.

By: ANNE GEARAN

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04:25 PM: NATIONAL CATHEDRAL AND HUNDREDS OF OTHER CHURCHES IN WASHINGTON AREA TO CLOSE FOR TWO WEEKS

Episcopal churches in the District and the Maryland and Virginia suburbs — including Washington National Cathedral — are closing for two weeks because of the coronavirus, church leaders said Wednesday.

Bishop Mariann Budde, who oversees 88 congregations in the District and Maryland that serve about 38,000 people, said all buildings would be completely closed until March 25, a measure that includes weekday activities and Sunday services. Susan Goff, bishop of the Episcopal Diocese of Virginia, said 179 churches in the Virginia suburbs, with about 68,000 members, would do the same.

The announcement came hours after D.C. health officials asked organizations to postpone any “mass gatherings” involving 1,000 people or more in the city until at least March 31.

Goff said the last time that churches canceled en masse over health concerns was for the flu of 1918.

A spokesman for Budde said the diocese will stream services from the cathedral on Sundays — with no audience.

By: MICHELLE BOORSTEIN and SARAH PULLIAM BAILEY

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04:22 PM: STATE DEPARTMENT AND USAID SUSPEND NON-ESSENTIAL TRAVEL

The State Department and the U.S. Agency for International Development have suspended nonessential travel for employees in response to the outbreak of the coronavirus, a move that requires diplomats and aid workers to receive sign-off from managers that future travel is “mission-critical,” said two U.S. officials familiar with the matter.

The move demonstrates the urgency with which U.S. agencies view the spread of the disease even as President Trump downplays the threat posed by the virus. At the same time, the policy has created confusion within the State Department and USAID as various bureaus, embassies and offices weigh the importance of the thousands of trips, conferences and meetings U.S. personnel embark on every year.

One State Department official, who spoke on the condition of anonymity because she was not authorized to discuss internal matters, said it was discouraging when an upcoming trip she viewed as critical to her job was canceled by her boss, who believed it did not meet that threshold.

By: JOHN HUDSON

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04:18 PM: DOW REACHES BEAR-MARKET TERRITORY ON A NEARLY 1,500-POINT SKID, ENDING RECORD 11-YEAR STOCK RALLY

Wall Street went into a deep slump Wednesday, falling so far and so fast that the Dow Jones industrial average officially tipped into a bear market, ending a record 11-year stock rally.

The bear market reflects a 20 percent fall from record highs, which the Dow hit less than a month ago, and came as the coronavirus officially became a pandemic.

The World Health Organization’s declaration Wednesday signaled that health experts believe efforts should shift from trying to contain the virus to mitigation.

The Dow — already deep in the red for the day — plunged further, tumbling almost to the 1,500-points-down mark, after the WHO announcement.

“Bear markets are ugly,” said Michael Farr, president of Farr, Miller and Washington. “They’re painful and they all last too long. Sadly, it seems that a new one is just getting started.”

All 11 S&P stock market sectors turned negative on Wednesday. Real estate, utilities and energy — often safe havens for nervous investors — were faring the worst. The health sector was the least affected by the sell-off. UnitedHealth Group was the lone component of the Dow‘s 30 blue chips to show a gain. Boeing shed 18 percent of its value.

By: TAYLOR TELFORD and THOMAS HEATH

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04:02 PM: DELAWARE REPORTS FIRST POSITIVE TEST; MORE THAN 40 STATES NOW CONFIRM INFECTIONS

Delaware on Wednesday announced its first positive test for the coronavirus, as more than 40 states report infections.

The Delaware patient, a man older than 50, whom officials say is “doing well,” lives in New Castle County and is “associated with the University of Delaware community,” the state’s public health department said in a statement. Before the case was announced, the university said it was “gearing up for online delivery of all of our courses in the event that we have confirmed COVID-19 cases on campus.”

The Delaware patient was exposed to the virus in another state, authorities said, and self-isolated at home right away when his symptoms began. Officials are working to identify contacts.

“We understand that news of a positive case in the state is concerning,” said public health director Karyl Rattay in a statement, “but this is something we have been preparing for over the last several weeks.”

By: HANNAH KNOWLES

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03:58 PM: AMTRAK RIDERSHIP PLUMMETS AMID OUTBREAK

The coronavirus outbreak has brought a steep fall in March passenger numbers and revenue for Amtrak, and the nation’s passenger rail company is warning of hard times ahead.

Ridership is down, cancellations are up by more than 300 percent, and future bookings have fallen by half, Amtrak said Wednesday, citing the public health crisis that has led Americans to cancel travel in recent days.

If the trend continues, Amtrak said revenue losses could be in the “several hundred million dollars” and throw off the company’s growth projections for this year. A plan to reduce spending is in place, and it includes service cuts and layoffs.

Ridership declines over the past few weeks have been sharp in the Northeast Corridor and on Amtrak’s National Network, and it is getting worse every day, Stephen Gardner, senior executive vice president and chief operating and commercial officer at Amtrak, said in a memo to workers on Wednesday.

“At this rate, we believe we will likely suffer the loss of several hundred million dollars in revenue during this fiscal year — and we might lose more,” Gardner said.

Amtrak has begun “aggressive measures to cut costs,” Gardner said.

“You should expect significant reductions in train service across portions of our network in response to the sharp drop in ridership. Shortly, we will begin rolling out our voluntary leave program for those non-mission critical employees that are willing to take time off on an unpaid basis,” he said.

This week, Amtrak canceled its Acela nonstop trips between Washington and New York to reduce service as demand dropped. The daily nonstop Acela service is suspended through May 26, the company said. More service could be halted across the network of about 300 daily trains nationwide.

The company has suspended change fees on all existing and new reservations for tickets purchased before April 30 to accommodate concerned travelers.

By: LUZ LAZO

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03:46 PM: OHIO TO LIMIT LARGE GATHERINGS IN DRAMATIC NEW MOVE TO FIGHT VIRUS

Ohio will limit large gatherings in a dramatic bid to combat the novel coronavirus, Gov. Mike DeWine (R) announced Wednesday, shortly after Washington state turned to similar measures in a few counties.

DeWine said he will soon issue an order enforcing Tuesday’s recommendation against mass gatherings and spectators at indoor sporting events but would not yet close K-12 schools, though he tweeted that “we may get to that point.”

“We are doing the things we are doing because we have the potential to become like Italy,” he tweeted, referencing the European country’s nationwide restrictions on movement. “We are taking the actions we are taking now to try to avoid that. The situation will get bad before it gets better, but it is in our hands to determine what the outcome will be.”

DeWine also said Wednesday that he will order that visitors to nursing homes and assisted-living facilities be limited to one per day per resident. The elderly are most vulnerable to the coronavirus, and outbreaks at nursing homes in Washington state have been deadly. Authorities in Ohio will require that all individuals who enter such facilities be screened for illness and have their temperatures taken, DeWine announced.

Four people in the state have tested positive, he said, as authorities called evidence of the virus’s community spread a “game changer" requiring more serious measures.

“You’re going to see us taking more aggressive actions now," said Amy Acton, the director of the state’s department of health. "Please know that we’re doing this to protect Ohioans and protect our healthcare system.”

“We shouldn’t panic, but we should take rational actions to protect ourselves, our loved ones, and others,” DeWine tweeted Wednesday afternoon.

Have you tried to get tested for coronavirus and been turned away? Share your experience with The Post.

By: HANNAH KNOWLES

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03:35 PM: WASHINGTON STATE’S CORONAVIRUS DEATH TOLL AT 25

Another coronavirus patient in Washington state has died, officials announced Wednesday, bringing the death toll there to 25.

The newly reported death occurred in Snohomish County, where officials say there are 68 confirmed cases of the virus. The county now has two recorded fatalities — still far less than King County, where almost two dozen have died as outbreaks hit nursing homes. The elderly are most vulnerable to the virus.

Snohomish and King are among the counties where Gov. Jay Inslee (D) on Wednesday imposed a ban on gatherings of more than 250 people, seeking to contain the spread of infection.

Nationwide, the coronavirus has killed more than 30 people and the number of cases has surpassed 1,000.

By: HANNAH KNOWLES

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03:27 PM: BOEING WILL CASH OUT $13.8 BILLION LOAN AND FREEZE HIRING AMID MARKET TURMOIL

Boeing plans to cash out a $13.8 billion loan meant to cover costs related to the grounding of the 737 Max passenger jet, a person familiar with the matter said Wednesday, as recent market volatility creates new risks at a time when the company’s business is already in a historically fragile state.

Boeing declined to comment on the loan cash out, but said it would put a hold on all new hires pending a “review of priorities and critical needs.”

The company’s stock was down 16 percent by late afternoon Wednesday.

By: AARON GREGG

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03:20 PM: HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF STUDENTS SHIFTING TO ONLINE LEARNING IN NEW YORK, ONE OF SEVERAL NEW MEASURES ANNOUNCED BY CUOMO

New York Gov. Andrew M. Cuomo (D) on Wednesday announced sweeping new measures to combat coronavirus, including distance learning for hundreds of thousands of students at public schools and paid leave for quarantined or isolated government workers.

New York also will start contracting with private labs to increase its testing capacity, Cuomo said as the state’s cases topped 200, adding that he spoke with 28 labs earlier in the day. Lawmakers and public health officials around the country have been frustrated with delays in rolling out widespread testing that could help show the full extent in the United States of what’s now a global pandemic.

[monstersdownthepath]

Spiritual Spotlight: The Pale Horse

True Neutral Psychopomp Usher of Duty, Revenge, and Beasts of Burden

Domains: Death, Repose, Travel, Water Subdomains*: Psychopomp, Souls, Exploration, Rivers

Concordance of Rivals, pg. 15

Obedience: Perform hard labor for 1 hour while focusing on your shortcomings and how to overcome them. Benefit: Get a +4 insight bonus on saves against death effects and effects which cause fatigue.

(*IMPORTANT NOTE: The Subdomains are my best guess; Subdomains are not listed in Concordance of Rivals. Anywhere!!!)

Our very first Monitor Demigod reviewed! Many Monitors jumped out at me, but the Pale Horse landed four hooves first with his gorgeous illustration and interesting backstory, so I had to. Not all of the Obediences are as simple as this one, nor are all of the benefits, but I appreciate a bit of simplicity now and then. And it’s fitting! The Lash and the Plough exemplifies the pain and the bounty that comes from servitude and difficult work being completed, and to prove your obedience to him you have to break your back for one hour while considering where you’re weakest. Sweat out your faults and failures!

I appreciate that the Pale Horse doesn’t specify what kind of labor, so long as it’s difficult and gives you enough mental space for self-reflection. Break rocks, dig ditches, haul wood, haul your team’s stuff, all that good stuff! You can even technically do something repetitive and non-productive, such as filling a bucket with water before walking around the source and dumping it back in, but that goes against the spirit of the Obedience and may get you in hot water with the Lash and the Plough. There is some difficulty in that this Obedience is annoying to do in areas where manual labor isn’t really available, but your work doesn’t HAVE to be for anyone but yourself. You don’t even technically have to finish your task, just hack at it for an hour. Pull out a shovel and work at digging a hole, or move around piles of junk you see, or work at picking up trash, things like that.

The unspoken side-benefit of this is that your consistent labor regime may earn you a healthier physique. You may not get one mechanically, but think of the roleplaying potential!

The more important portion of the benefit won’t see much use in the early levels, but as you level up and death effects cement themselves further in enemy repertoires? You’ll be glad you take the extra hour out of your day to beat yourself into shape.

Boons are gained slowly, gained at levels 12, 16, and 20. Servants of the Monitors, though, can enter the Proctor Prestige Class as early as level 8. If entered as early as possible, you can earn your Boons at levels 10, 14, and 16. You MUST take the Monitor Obedience feat, NOT Deific Obedience. Monitors grant only a single set of Boons.

Boon 1: Stalwart Rider. Gain Lock Gaze 3/day, Align Weapon 2/day, or Phantom Steed 1/day.

Lock Gaze is a rare spell, one I’d rarely consider actually preparing but certainly welcome the possibility of having. It forces the target to look at you and ONLY you, granting every other creature concealment against the target, meaning their attacks will miss 20% of the time. It’s a decent spell to throw on someone you’re 40 or so feet away from, forcing them to turn and look at you and potentially throwing them off of whatever they were fighting before.

Align Weapon is a bit too narrow in use, UNLESS you know what you’re going up against. Demons? Angels? Inevitables? Protean? If you know you’re facing that day, then Align Weapon will absolutely save you entire rounds of effort trying to hack through their Damage Reduction. Hell, you don’t even have to really know you’re facing specific Outsider breeds, just knowing you’re going to be up against aligned foes in general is enough to keep this spell tucked away.

Phantom Steed, as discussed last week with Desna, is a very nice spell for traveling about, but the fact it only carries one person at a time makes it kind of difficult to justify using if you’re still moving with a team, but it’s insanely useful if you find yourself on your own.

Boon 2: The Will Endures. Upon completing your Obedience, you gain temporary hitpoints equal to your Hit Dice plus your Wisdom modifier. These hitpoints last 24 hours.

Hope you didn’t dump Wisdom! This ability is probably the SINGLE most boring Boon I’ve ever seen, but it’s an extra 14(+Wis) HP for you that grows as you level up. It’s really, really not a whole lot, but it’s free hitpoints and 14~20 is enough to help you resist one extra attack from a powerful enemy, or a lot of attacks from lesser mooks, and it saves resources for your allies. There IS a bit of a ‘cheat’ built in here in that if you perform your Obedience multiple times a day you can refresh these hitpoints, but that requires you taking an hour out of your day to recover. What do you think this is, 5e???  

Boon 3: Peerless Defender. You can cast Transformation 3/day.

Transformation turns you into a mean machine, a hulking monster with +4 to Str, Dex, and Con (meaning +2 to attack and damage rolls, and +2 HP per hit dice), +4 AC (actually +6 due to the Dex increase), +5 to Fortitude saves, competence with all simple and martial weapons, and BAB equal to your Hit Dice. Even a wimpy Wizard can suddenly hulk out and start beating people’s faces in with this power, but its strength truly shines if you’re already a martial class. If you decided to class into Proctor, then starting your career as a Bloodrager or Magus (or Inquisitor or Investigator or...) makes this ability a beautiful addition to your kit, though the classes who reap the most benefit are actually the ones that don’t cheat with the Proctor’s accelerated Boon advancement; i.e. full martial classes.

Transformation rarely sees use because it’s restricted to Alchemist, Magus, Sorcerer/Wizard, and Witch, and while the Magus and some Alchemist builds can get great mileage out of it, the others are kind of screwed because Transformation also removes your ability to cast spells for its duration and, I’m not sure if you’re aware, spells are a pretty important class feature for the Wizard and Witch. That being said, while maximum BAB may be redundant if you’re already a Fighter or a Barbarian, a Rogue or even just a buffed Cleric can enjoy the benefits just fine.

It’s a good ability! And it can be used three times a day! And since spell-likes need no components, you don’t need to invest a Potion of Bull’s Strength each time!

So, while we wait for the Archives of Nethys to catch up (EDIT: Link now at the end of this post!), how about a bit on the Pale Horse’s personality? He started life as a daemon, actually, and it’s debated if he was a Harbinger, a powerful daemon, a Horseman, or even one of the Horsemen’s steeds (with Charon being the most likely), as his name and deeds have been struck from all of Abaddon’s records. He gorged on mortal souls until the memories and emotions that came with it induced a painful melancholy in him, and he soon found himself becoming paralyzed by his own decisions and crushed under the weight of the leadership that his position afforded.

In a spectacular show of Outsider Mind Weirdness he realized he hated having to make decisions for himself and wished to be free of the Burden Of Choice, and threw himself at Pharasma’s feet in supplication, hoping for mercy. Taking advantage of this moment of weakness, she turned the Pale Horse into her own watchmen of the River of Souls, a figure that now trots up and down the shores of the River, slaying creatures who would prey on the vulnerable souls within while guiding those who’ve lost their way back onto the trail. He personally trains other guardsmen of the River and even leads charges into daemonic territory to reclaim stolen souls!

Yes, there IS a bit of irony--or perhaps hypocrisy--in his actions and attitude versus what he expects of his followers (the Burden Of Choice was a weight he could not bear, but he expects everyone else to shoulder their own hardships), but I enjoy such looks into the minds of spectacularly weird Outsiders like the Pale Horse.

You can read more about him here.

[karasunonolibero]

2019 writing self-evaluation

so i did this over on my main last year, and since i had what i felt was a productive year, i wanted to do it here! i’ve included all works, from every fandom i wrote for, so there’s definitely a variety but also a clear distinction of when i stopped writing 1d and started writing for haikyuu, heh. anyway, i’m proud of all the work i’ve done this year, so here’s to 2020!

ALL FICS MUST HAVE POSTED ON AO3 IN 2019

1. Number of stories (including drabbles) posted to AO3: 50

2. Word count posted for the year: 147,038

3. List of works published this year (in order of posting):

two loves have i (5 january)

it’s only your imagination again (25 january)

the pain’s only temporary (8 february)

blow a kiss, fire a gun (9 may)

waiting to be found (14 may)

a swim with a shark (6 june)

sweet and lowdown (19 june)

one more time as if we planned it (24 june)

always be my thunder (23 july)

will your mouth read this truth (30 july)

tumblr drabbles & prompts (last updated 3 august)

I’m on my way up (’cos you make me bliss out) (completed 4 august) (collab with Rider_Of_Spades on ao3)

even mountains crumble into the sea (7 august)

we’re on each other’s team (14 august)

dangerous, tainted, flawed (20 august)

life can do terrible things (25 august)

the night before life goes on (1 september)

when the letter says a soldier’s coming home (17 september)

when the air ran out (19 september)

something missing tonight (21 september)

built castles from sand (26 september)

underneath the stars we came alive (8 october)

sweet talk and sugar (10 october)

got my name on this treasure (11 october)

just a little taste, babe (14 october)

iwaoi horror week drabbles (completed 1 november)

don’t let the tide come (31 october)

daisuga week drabbles (completed 24 november)

how (not) to put on a condom (26 november)

taste the tension, now i’m begging (2 december)

kiss the boy (7 december)

till tonight do us part (11 december)

i wish i could be there now (13 december)

on our way to twenty-seven (15 december)

for the dream far away (24 december)

a collar full of chemistry (25 december)

fall down and commune with me (28 december)

a little of love’s electricity (31 december)

the city is at war (last updated 31 december)

4. Fandoms I wrote for: (stats pulled from the ao3 filter feature on my works)

haikyuu!! (41)

one direction (9)

the legend of zelda: breath of the wild (3)

all time low (1)

crystalline (1)

5. Pairings: (i didn’t count side or past pairings)

iwaizumi hajime/oikawa tooru (14)

sawamura daichi/sugawara koushi (13)

oikawa tooru/sugawara koushi (4)

azumane asahi/nishinoya yuu (3)

kuroo tetsurou/sawamura daichi (2)

kuroo tetsurou/yaku morisuke (1)

akaashi keiji/oikawa tooru (1)

sawamura daichi/sugawara koushi/terushima yuuji (1)

sawamura daichi/terushima yuuji (1)

sugawara koushi/terushima yuuji (1)

link/revali (1)

mipha/zelda (1)

louis tomlinson/harry styles (5)

louis tomlinson/zayn malik (1)

alex gaskarth/louis tomlinson (1)

liam payne/louis tomlinson (1)

zack spade/pixel fade (1)

6. Story with the most:

Kudos: two loves have i (275)

Bookmarks: two loves have i (34)

Comments: two loves have i (25)

9. Work I’m most proud of (and why):

on our way to twenty-seven! i was digging into some identity and sexuality issues that i myself have dealt with in the past and writing about it was the first time i’d really dove into some of that stuff, so i really enjoyed writing it and i think it’s some of my best.

i’m also really proud of i’m taking back the crown and i wish i could say why. i just really like the way it came out. writing oikawa as this desperate dethroned prince trying to reclaim his kingdom at any cost only to be beaten at his own game in his own home was just...ugh. it was so much fun to write.

10. Work I’m least proud of (and why):

one more time as if we planned it, definitely. i just felt super rushed writing it. it was for the one direction rarepair fest, which was super fun, but i had Just finished a longer fic a few days before this one was due and i initially tried to drop out because i thought i wouldn’t be able to finish it, but i did, but i still feel like it’s rushed and just not as good as it could have been if i’d planned better and given it some more time.

11. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

im gonna do what i did last year and post more than one, because 1. i can’t decide and 2. i quite honestly am pretty proud of a lot of what i wrote this year

from when the letter says a soldier’s coming home —

Tooru’s squealing somewhere behind them, and Hajime’s gruffly trying to get out the door, and he’ll have to call the school and make up something about being sick so he can spend the day catching up with Daichi, but it can wait. It can all wait. Because Koushi’s waited long enough. It’s about time the rest of the world waits for him.

from strawberries on a summer evening —

Suga hums against him, licking strawberry seeds from between Daichi’s teeth, like he’s just as intoxicated by Daichi as Daichi is with him. Daichi could live here, in this feeling, ignoring everything except how Suga sounds (like bliss personified), smells (like sunblock and sweat), tastes (like sugar and salt). He’s the hottest part of the summer, high noon in mid-August, just this side of too much to handle, but addicting in how it leaves you at its mercy.

from on our way to twenty-seven —

“Sorry, what was your name again?”

Tetsurou opens his mouth to say his American name, but he catches Daichi and Suga looking at him, and he swallows it down. “My name is Tetsurou. Tetsurou Kuroo.”

“I thought you wanted people to call you Tyler,” Timothy says.

Tetsurou shoots him a glare and says it again, feeling his confidence start to grow. “My name is Tetsurou Kuroo. Tetsu is fine, too, but I don’t go by Tyler anymore.”

12. Share or describe a favorite review you received:

any time tasteofsummersnow left me a comment, it made my heart go doki doki!! her comments are so in depth and so very sweet and it’s so much fun to see her real-time reactions to my writing. i go back and reread them like once a week they’re so nice ;_;

13. A time when writing was really, really hard:

the spring/early summer in general was tough, like from march to june. i didn’t post anything between february and may, and i feel like i was struggling a lot creatively around like may/june of this year. i think it’s because a lot of stuff in the 1d fandom was really turning me off at the time and that’s when the burnout fully hit.

14. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

definitely sugawara in the city is at war. i was writing that first chapter and initially i just wanted to see him step up when daichi wasn’t around but he very quickly turned sadistic and ruthless and scarily sharp, which is just so much fun to write him as. and his relationship with daichi is just—ugh. love that violence-fueled romance. they would kill a hundred men for each other and be turned on once they were finished.

honestly, all of the city is at war has surprised me. the idea came to me in a dream on a long bus ride, of all the clan leaders having a meeting and being attacked, and i woke up and banged it out in 36 hours. i meant it to be a oneshot but as i wrote it, i realized i loved the au so much there was no way i could leave it at that. so now it’s got a whole plot and all that. fun!

15. How did you grow as a writer this year:

last year i said i felt i grew writing angst and exploring different emotional themes, and i think i built on that even more this year. i did a bunch of shorter pieces this year and i feel a lot of them really explored emotions and characters more than plot, and that’s been so much fun. and then as well, like i said before, i’ve branched out into the crime-action genre with the yakuza au. and! iwaoi horror week was my first real attempt at spooky/creepy/horror-type writing, and, it was a fun challenge for sure.

i also said i wanted to just keep writing and be spontaneous and i definitely did that this year. i posted so many fics not caring how long it had been since the last one—sometimes it was less a day. numbers stopped mattering to me. i posted just because i wanted to put my writing out there and share it with the world, knowing there had to be someone out there who’d like it.

16. How do you hope to grow next year:

i feel like 2019 was a year of trying a lot of new things, so in 2020 i’m hoping to explore some different ships and tropes. the sheer number of characters and ships in haikyuu means there’s a ship for just about every trope and au out there, and i want to play around with some dynamics i’ve never written before.

17. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

as always, a shoutout to the loggies, who have been a fantastic source of inspiration and support all year even after i retired from 1d fic. and i would also like to thank the people i met via various hq discord servers—you know who you are!! thank you for the sprints, the encouragement, the inspiration, and the friendship. as someone brand new to the fandom, the support and sense of community has been nothing short of amazing, and you guys are part of the reason i felt so comfortable in this fandom so quickly.

18. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

actually, yeah. even mountains crumble into the sea was written the night before i broke up with my ex. i wrote it as an exercise to get all my feelings out, lay them all on the table where i could see them and pick through them, and then imagine the best possible way the scenario could go.

19. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

honestly—just write! write what you’re happy with. write even if you don’t post it. write, because everything you do is practice that’ll help you improve.

and don’t be afraid to write out of order or write more than one project at a time. i know that won’t work for everyone, but for me, if i didn’t immediately write what was on my mind, i probably wouldn’t have posted half of what i did this year.

20. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

hey remember last year when i said i was gonna finish the breath of the wild au?? L M A O i’m really gonna finish it next year i swear!!

i have a fic posting in the spring for the nsfw big bang which i’m ALSO very excited about! i’m lucky to be working with such a talented artist and the end result is gonna be amazing and i’m so so excited.

i also want to keep going with the city is at war, because that plot was a pleasant surprise. and there’s an ever-growing list of fic ideas and aus that i’m so excited to write—some of them were originally for larry aus but i’ve repurposed them for haikyuu pairings and that’s helped breathe new life into some old ideas.

21. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read.

anyone who sees this and wants to do it! just tag me, i wanna read your answers!

[thebritishblabbermouth]

Jungkook Fanfiction- BTS Mafia AU

Heyya :))

@atricksterwithwings requested a beautiful BTS mafia au, and I loved writing this for her. I’ve split it into three parts. Scroll down for the first and for the link to the latter. 

A/N: I’ve mentioned Zhang Yixing in this fanfiction aside from the other BTS members. Its totally okay if you dont know who he is...although you probably do, he’s like such a popular sheep ;) Find information about him here . 

Tell me your thoughts on this fanfic, Id love to receive any sort of feedback on my work and I totally think that likes and reblogs are recognition too :) Have fun reading, I know I really enjoyed writing this :) Its like 12 pages long on a word doc...idek anymore xP Jungkook is gorgeous. :) 

Also...there is cursing in this, mention of the mafia from different nationalities and part two and three are rated M (its smutty xP) Reader discretion is advised if any of these things bother you. 

Lots of love :) <3 - Enjoy :)  

PART 2

PART 3 (final)

1.

Jeon Jungkook stood at the 77th floor of Euphoria, the headquarters to the largest crime syndicate east of the Pacific Ocean. The height was dizzying for most, but not for him.

Jungkook had no fears; or so was assumed.

The man himself, was built at an impressive 6 feet and constituted of raw muscle, protein and a rather cynical approach towards life. Outwardly, the leader of the most legal crime syndicate was cold, intimidating and the type to burn you to ashes with a glare from his heated eyes.

Inwardly, he was exactly the same.

He was well aware of the effect he had on his employees, men and women who knew exactly of his affiliation with the Japanese Yazuka and the Italian Camorra yet pined to work under Jeon, the sheer power of his company bringing everyone to their knees with respect.

Euphoria was a giant.

It had dealings with government run telemarketing firms, banks, real estate agencies, alongside finance and technology markets. An easy way to convert money earned through extortion, gambling and trafficking to its pure and pristine form. The corrupt politicians whose elections he had funded didn’t complain. No one cared where the money came from and no one dared to ask otherwise. The cause of the founder’s formidable aura wasn’t a secret. Everyone knew how he had been tortured by his father, abandoned on the streets by a mother who seemed to love Heroin more than her own son. The story had been plastered all over the internet, and Jungkook would never deny reading through its many exaggerated versions. They were entertaining and did well to remind himself about how important money and power were, without those weapons, he too would be sitting in a room, writing about a life that belonged to someone else.

Materialism was reality and wealth- it’s currency.

~~~~~~~~~~~

‘’Sir, your coffee…’’ you said, walking through the office doors, a skip in your stride. There was no knock. No hint of awkwardness, no aspect of fear in the way she spoke. If anything there was the undertone of coercion, almost coaxing the man to leave his billion dollar thoughts in the gutter and focus solely on the warm drink.

Your playful extortion had worked, he was focused. Just not on the coffee.

Three months ago, Euphoria had issued an internal opportunity- PA to Jeon Jungkook. The post received 3 applications from his 20,000 employees. Min Yoongi, his chief of finance and operations took to appointing the least qualified of the bunch, a woman- aged a mere 22 years. The pitch to his ever frightening boss had been simple. ‘’You’ve let down 30 men in the last 6 months. I am done handling my job as well your shit. Those Harvard lunatics are too busy tending to their stupid resumes and I don’t have time for the garbage they throw at me when you fire their sorry arses. You’re settling with the woman, she’s got sick parents to feed- she won’t give a damn for ego as long as you pay her on time.’’

Jungkook could only snarl at the curses, the audacity of the man to speak in the way he did. Anyone else and they’d be lying in a pool of their own blood within seconds of the first word spoken against him. But Min Yoongi couldn’t be touched and this was a fact.

Jeon Jungkook was putty in the hands of his elder brother.

Today, he sent thanks to his sibling, for his aggressive outburst and daunting approach. You were priceless and the best decision ever- professionally of course.

He gave no reply to your request, not even a glance spared in your direction as your placed the drink onto his desk. There were just a series of footsteps, the man walking over to his maple work table, ready to do as he was told.

You had no idea of the prerogatives you held, and at that point, neither did him. The slight tease in your voice had mellowed down completely- replaced with the air of innocence and obeisance. Jungkook groaned at the sight. 

‘’So I was thinking…it’s Christmas Eve tomorrow…and well…’’ you said... Shuffling your buckled black heels.

‘’You aren’t leaving early.’’

His abrupt command had no thought behind it. Other than the fact he couldn’t let you out of his sight for more than a few hours, often paging you unnecessarily just to make you think of him.

He doubted you ever would if he didn’t.

‘’I am not…my parents are flying in tomorrow…it’s a small get together at my place with a few colleagues. I figured since you didn’t have anything planned…you could join us?’’  

Your apprehensive feet clicked across the hardwood with anticipation, the weightlessness behind your request holding the air in a trance.

‘’You’re my personal assistant, not event manager. You do not handle my private affairs so don’t think for a second that I care about your stupid Christmas dinner or the family I saved from crumbling.’’

It wasn’t what he had intended to say. Rather, his mind had flourished a thought he needed to keep locked away. He wanted to tell you that he’d love to join your family, share potato salad and amusing anecdotes across the table... All the while pressing his hand into your thigh- a subtle promise of sinful satisfaction later that night. But he wouldn’t dare to voice his feelings. You didn’t need to get involved with his shit, the scars that graced his back or the life full of gluttony and gambles he had chosen to lead. It was compulsion, to remind you every second of every day that the apartment which he bestowed upon you just 3 floors below his office- was a gracious boon, a gift given to improve your petty life. You had to be reminded of your father and how had been released from Jail after almost overdosing on the crack he had envisioned to peddle. Jeon Jungkook had to remind you of how ugly your tear stained face looked as you begged on your knees- begged for him to save your family.

There was simply no other way.

If you weren’t reminded, you’d crawl your way into his heart and sit there- encasing it completely.

He was just a damned moth to your flame.

‘’I know…and I am trying…I am trying to repay you. Please. Come over. I won’t waste your time.’’ You said. The words articulated with a purpose, were laced with meaningful sorrow but you couldn’t help the small smile that graced your lips.

He hadn’t declined.

Jungkook noticed how your full lips turned upwards, noticed how you had bent your head downwards, trying to hide your amusement. He knew he hadn’t said no, he knew inside the pits of his soul that was going to attend. Your reaction publicised his private notions completely.

It wasn’t hard to hate you.

Rather, it was the easiest thing in the world. His life had been built upon layers of lies, fear, judgement and mistrust. You tore everything apart with one look. He despised the hold you had over him, envied your purity and tried his best to tarnish it with his own two hands. Even if it meant burning your entire persona to ashes. He was well aware of the impact his audacious remarks on your large heart, knew just how much you wished to throw your small fists at his chest in rebuttal- he could see it in your eyes. But he knew you’d never break.

‘’Get out. I don’t have time for you.’’

Fuck.

Why couldn’t he just say no?

Probably because the thought of abjuration had never once crossed his mind.

~~~~~~~~~~~

11 pm saw him standing at your door, a bouquet of Lilly’s in his hand. The flowers had almost wilted away. What the hell was he doing? Why was he even here? There was no noise from behind the oakwood and why would there be?

Your offer had been for dinner, not a midnight snack.

He wasn’t going to come, prove you wrong and act smug about the ordeal. However he had shown up, at 7 pm, flowers fresh and suit prim. Ready to tap onto the door and shimmy himself into you…your apartment. But his confidence dropped as he heard your laughter, it was beautiful, natural and something he had never experienced before.

Jeon Jungkook had never made you laugh, but had every thought of hearing you scream.

It wouldn’t have mattered to him if you were any other woman, but the lack of knowledge frightened him, made him think there would be another man who would have the pleasure of witnessing both sounds.

Every. Single. Day.

His heart beat erratically, edging him into a state of worry and insanity. What the fuck was wrong with him? It would be a complete lie if he said he hadn’t just stood in front of your door for 3 hours, praying he didn’t hear sounds of men. The silence at 11 pm provided comfort and he walked away, only after dropping the Lilly’s inside the vase at your desk.

You had been pleasantly surprised the next day, and you knew exactly who they were from. The flowers- drained from their pretty colour -were beautiful nonetheless and you couldn’t help but run your hands over their soft petals.

They were perfect- just like him.

 ~~~~~~~~~~

2.

‘’See that guy over there…he’s checking you out hon.’’ Lisa, the American-Chinese intern, stirred her tea at an exceedingly sluggish pace. Her eyes were glued onto the 27 year old accountant who stood in the corner of the room, photocopying his work and humming to himself. She’d been a temporary employee at Euphoria Inc. for a bare 3 weeks but had done well to pair 4 couples with her self-praised matchmaking skills.

3 of said relationships had broken up within 24 hours. And thus, It was only natural that her impeccable track record attracted many an employee to her small cubicle, ready for her to set them up with dates and one night stands.

It seemed that you were her next target.

You sighed and turned to look at Jamie. He was tall, considerably well-built and had this collegiate boyish charm to his appeal, his long-slightly raven locks sat faultlessly over his glasses.

The image was so immaculate it made you uncomfortable.

I

However in your opinion, the man on the 77th floor was nothing short of perfection. His ruffled hair didn’t need to be waxed and placed as it were; it fell naturally and it made you want to run your hands through it. His rugged and damaged personality sheltered his otherwise kind heart and you saw right through the vile facade. You didn’t hope for him to change. Didn’t hope for him to suddenly become a goofy cheeky soul; the kind who would sit and chat with his workers.

You loved the man as he was. A little broken but a hell of a lot confident.

‘’Lisa…I don’t really want to date him…’’ You mumbled, eagerly emptying coffee beans into the machine.

She laughed at your reply and peeled her eyes away from the man. ‘’Who said anything about dating love? I just said he was checking you out.’’

It was hard not to grimace at her words but as crude as they were you had to smile politely. Offices were run on brutal honesty and cut throat depositions. There was no room for pleasantries or hospitality and any that appeared were a courteous formality. You hurried in your steps and brewed the concoction with ease. It was 8 am and he required his morning fix, even though he never actually asked you to prepare it. You had just finished placing his black on the tray and had turned around to deliver it when a firm body crashed into yours, spilling the brew all over your clothes and the floor. The heat burned through your blouse and scorched your skin, it had been hard to not curse at the pain but you dealt through it, eyes shut tight in response.

‘’Oh my gosh! I am so sorry!’’ said the voice. It was a man, sharply handsome, his cheekbones were protruding and you were sure his skin glowed. It didn’t take long to recognise him.

Kim Taehyung.

He had been a prospective fiancé, from a year ago.

From a time when you had no viable job, no future and the money the Kim Family offered in exchange for your hand in matrimony, had been a welcome surprise to your household. They were staunchly against same sex marriages and Park Jimin had been banned from their home with immediate effect. The marijuana had inflected your otherwise gentle father and he had agreed in seconds to the proposal, not once considering your opinion. You had declined Taehyung in private, and he had hugged you in thanks. The man was humble and docile in more ways than one, and his heart had been taken years ago- by none other, than his childhood piano teacher. There was no way Taehyung would’ve agreed.  

‘’Tae!’’ You screamed, surprised yet elated at the discovery.

‘’Hey there fiancé. Glad to know you remember me…but really, why do we always meet in the worst of situations.’’ He walked over to the counter as he spoke, grabbing up as many napkins as he could find. His gentle hands took to patting at your chest, handing you the tissues while doing so and it didn’t take long for to dry up your blouse.

‘’I thought you’d be more respectful than that. Letting your fiancé walk into my building and displaying yourself open for the man. Tch Tch…I guess a lowlife is always a low life no matter what her circumstance.’’ Jeon Jungkook stood against the door, leaning onto it with a posture that screamed indifference. But in all reality, Jungkook was seething.

The small Glock tucked into his suit was ready to fire and destroy Kim Taehyung and maybe even leave a flesh wound inside Jamie the accountant.

However in that minute, his primal desire had been to destroy you. How dare you hide the news of your engagement? How dare you wear that damned pastel pink blouse to work, and let another man touch you so unabashedly? How dare you smile when you saw your betrothed? He hated you for everything.

And he hated himself for falling for you.

‘’And who the hell is this Joker?’’ Taehyung turned around to look at Jeon, the tissues in his hand soiled from the spillage. He had been invited to the corporation by Min Yoongi, a dear friend who had promised him help with TaeMin Designs, an upcoming entrepreneurial, founded by his beautiful husband. It didn’t occur to him that he’d meet you, but he was pleased that he had.

You were wonderful.

If it hadn’t been for your confidence, he would have never proposed to Jimin, never left his awful family and never been as happy as he was now. He owed you his life and his prosperity.

‘’Tae…he’s my boss. I’ll talk to you later. Please. I’ll call you hmm?’’ you tried your best to nip the fight in the bud. Taehyung was cool headed but an agitated version of the man could lead to the emergence of fists and blood. You were lucky he understood your pleas, and he grunted towards Jungkook while exiting the room, the daggers leaving his eyes were filled with venom and anger.

‘’I’d like you to pay attention to your job. Not to every single man out there. Why don’t you just do as you’re told? I don’t care what you do and who you do it with when you’re out of here.’’ Jungkook straightened himself against the wall and pocketed his hands. He told himself he enjoyed watching your eyes brim, told himself that his anger was justified. But god knows how much he wanted to cradle you and whisper apologies until you were forced to believe them.

‘’Let’s keep your sluttish acts away from the office hmm?’’

It was a harsh blow, enough to cause the first tear to slip from their confines. Why did he have to behave like that?

Why did you have to love him regardless of the way he did? 

~~~~~~~

3.  

‘’How long is it going to take you leave? It’s pretty simple. Take the bag to KM Constructions, drop it there and leave. What’s so hard? '' Jungkook’s anger had sky rocketed ever since the incidence in the cafeteria and he didn’t even understand why he was asking you to be a bag drop. Never once in a career spanning 6 years had he ever made a woman a part of a deal. But it seemed that you were an exception with everything.

‘’I am just leaving Sir.’’ You said, buttoning up the grey pea coat.

He noticed how inappropriately dressed you were, how feminine and vulnerable. He knew how lecherous men could be, knew it wasn’t safe. But annoyance clouded his senses and he threw the thoughts away. It was simple enough, no interactions. You’d be fine.

If only he knew.

Part 2

Part 3 

[canaryatlaw]

okay, so. most of the day was fairly boring lol as expected but tonight of course was super awesome. I had set a 1 pm wake up if you’re not already awake alarm but I ended up waking up to my phone buzzing right at 11 am, it was a Chicago number so I answered and chatted with this guy from this legal company that does boring shit like document review and is doing like part time temporary hiring projects, which would obviously be a short term fix as I’m still looking for full time employment, but they pay like $20 an hour (and you don’t technically have to be licensed for some of their stuff, so being that I am licensed I miiiiiight get to do some more intense stuff for more pay? Idk, have to see) so I have an 11 am Skype interview scheduled with them for tomorrow morning to chat about that stuff. I’m obviously not like dying to get this job or anything but it’d be nice to have some income while I’m still looking, like if I did like 15-20 hours a week that’s $300-$400 so that’s not insignificant. I’m just gonna be super upfront with them about the fact that I’m seeking permanent employment and if I start anything with them there is a solid chance I will up and leave with fairly short notice, and if they’re not okay with that then we won’t do it, but I get the feeling since a lot of their shit is short term they’ll probably be okay with it. So after I got off that phone call I looked up the number for Ulta and called them to push back my haircut appointment which was booked for 12, I was trying to do think if there was somewhere I could plant myself downtown and do a Skype interview to then just run to the appointment but I obviously don’t want to do like, starbucks, and beyond trying to sneak into my old student org office at school (that’s no longer mine obviously) there’s not very many options, so I was hoping we could just push the haircut back a bit till like 2 and she happened to have an opening then so that was perfect because she gets booked up fairly consistently, so I lucked out there. After that I was lazy and went on my phone for a bit before getting up and going on my laptop at the kitchen table while I ate breakfast and then eventually moved over to the couch and was just listening to podcasts while on my computer for a while, then ended up watching the pilot of the new amazon prime show “Hanna” that’s not actually premiering to March but they were making the pilot available for like 24 hours after the superbowl for some reason and I was fairly intrigued by that (I never did actually see the movie its based on) and it was okay I guess? I wasn’t like super enthralled in it but I may give it a try for a few episodes when it comes out. The main actress is pretty good, but she’s a lot older than I thought she was (she actually turns 19 like, today) when I thought she was more like 13 or 14. and she’s apparently not been in much of anything up to this point, so good for her. After that I just turned the tv off and listened to more Panic music since I downloaded a bunch last night on top of what I downloaded after the concert last week so I could be more familiar with that while doing some computer stuff and trying to get some more Batwoman comic reading done. I was trying to see what they had on DC Universe before switching over to Comixology (which I have to pay for) but they only have issues 1-12 of her new 52 run which is apparently significantly longer than that and I burned through those very quickly, and the other ones on there are basically just one-off appearances in a random Batman story. So I guess I’ll read those then see what I can get on Comixology (they apparently have a subscription thing now which may be more affordable than paying for each comic, I’ll have to see what’s the deal with that). Around 4:30 I started getting ready, tried to do my make up very carefully and ended up trying to use my liquid eyeliner on my bottom lid which I normally don’t do but I like accidentally got some on there when trying to get it on my top lid (not sure how I managed to do that) and wanted to see if I could do the rest. It turned out pretty good in the immediate aftermath at least, but when I got home it had migrated down my face a good bit which is basically my biggest pet peeve with black eyeliner so I probably won’t be doing that again (I’m gonna see if I can find a better one at Ulta/Sephora tomorrow, since I’ll be at the Ulta and there’s a Sephora down the street and I want to find something that’s a Sephora brand product. There’s apparently also a Sally’s around there which I may also hit up for some hair dyeing supplies). But I finished getting ready and got on the bus at like 5:30 to meet Jess at her work so we could go straight to the concert from there, I was supposed to get there slightly before she got off so she could use it as an excuse to leave but the bus was being uncooperative (as public transit often is) and I ended up not getting there until like right when she got off, but it wasn’t a big deal because we weren't really in a rush being that we knew Panic didn’t actually take the stage until like, 8:30 lol. We stopped at a mcdonalds drive thru on the way where we got twenty nuggets, two cokes, and a medium fries (it’s always a debate about how many nuggets to get, because Jess is like “but I want more than 10″ when we’re splitting 20 but it’s more expensive to order 30 nuggets than it would be to order 40 nuggets and that’s just way too many (we did try that once) so I was saying we could do a 20 and a 6 piece but ended up just going with the 20 for us to split. Drove the rest of the way out, the concert was out by the airport which is a bit of a hike but we’re used to going there because most Chicago cons are in a venue that’s right by there. There was fairly massive traffic getting into the venue, and we had some momentary panic (no pun intended) regarding paying for parking because we didn't have any cash and didn’t know if they’d take card, but luckily they did so that crisis was averted. of course it’s bullshit that they’re charging $25 to just park in their giant ass parking lot, but that’s life for ya. Once we parked we had to kinda run to the venue because it was cold and we were both bumming it without our regular coats (I had a leather jacket on) so we were happy when we got in there. Got in without issue, climbed up the stairs to the top level of course and found our seats. We were literally like, the furthest section back on the side before the other seats just weren’t sold because you couldn’t be able to see (the other half of our section was actually closed off) but despite that we actually had a fairly good view and could see most of everything, just mostly from a side view and sometimes the back, lol. I was pumped though because I spent like all of last week wishing I could relive the concert and now I was getting to do that, so I was very excited. The new perspective was interesting, we got to see things from different angles which was interesting, like him popping up onto the stage when he first came out and just jumps up so it looks like he just gets shot out at fairly high speed lol. The set list was the same of course, except I’ve been listening to the music all week and actually knew the vast majority of the songs this time and could sing along, so I felt accomplished for that. I did manage to take a good amount of videos that I posted all on my instagram story if you want to check those out (@ racheleiley) and this time I didn’t ugly sing while recording lol so they’re better quality than the ones from last week. But yeah it was really good, I still got super anxious and cringey when he was on the floating piano above the crowd and very clearly not strapped into anything and like, going to the edge of the platform and I like, couldn’t watch because it stressed me out too much lol but thankfully he made it back okay. When Girls/Girls/Boys came on we hadn’t gotten the little paper colored hearts to put over our cell phone lights this time because we were in the reject section that was mostly empty, but it was still enjoyable and he definitely had no less than 10 pride flags thrown onstage at him during it which he picked every single one up and draped them over him and he was like “this is a record” which was great. But yeah, I really enjoyed all of it. When he came back out for the encore someone threw a little teddy bear onstage and he was like “aw, this is the cutest teddy bear, I’m keeping this” and put it in his back pocket as he kept performing and it was really fucking cute lol. He must be in really good shape to be doing this sometimes multiple times a week because it’s so much energy expended and his voice is so strong to be able to handle it (makes sense that he did a stint on Broadway). But yeah, I enjoyed it a lot and got much better videos this time so I’m pleased with that. Once it ended we managed to get out of the parking lot relatively quickly, definitely a lot quicker than we expected because we kinda cut around part of the line to get to the exit faster (sorry not sorry 🤷🏻‍♀️) and then made it the rest of the way home, and Jess made me walk back to my place from her apartment instead of dropping me off which she could’ve VERY EASILY done, but she was being a butt and trying to get payback because she always has to make the walk when we hang out at my place (which we do the vast majority of the time). So I walked home, thankfully it wasn’t too cold, and then spent a while uploading the videos to my instagram story because it was being uncooperative while at the concert so I had to do them all after. My roommate got home shortly after I did and somehow managed to leave her keys in the front door, but now our front door wouldn’t unlock, so she was gonna go around the back to get to the front and asked if I had my front door key, which I thought she meant the front door to our apartment, so I gave her that she disappeared. Not long after I could hear someone calling my name so I went to the front door and was like ??? yes??? but she wasn’t at the door and I was thoroughly confused as to where she could be until it occurred to me that maybe she was locked outside, so I went down the backstairs to the back door where she was in fact stuck, we had a slight miscommunication on the key situation and she couldn’t get the front door of the building to open because I gave her the wrong key, whoops, but we got it figured out and fixed the door situation so that was good. After that was settled I got in the shower and started getting ready for bed and now I am here. I’ve been writing this post for about 40 minutes and it’s now 2 am, I have to get up at at least 10:30 tomorrow to make sure I’m presentable for the Skype interview so I think I should get to bed now. Goodnight loves. Have a lovely Tuesday.

[unfortunate-rp]

Congratulations, ELIOT! You have been accepted as your original character, JOSEPH ATTALI. I am really excited to have Joseph and I’m also excited about your potential plans for him! Please be sure to complete the steps listed on the NEW MEMBER CHECKLIST and send in your account within the next 24 hours.

Well, young lady, have you been good to your mother?

OOC INFORMATION

Name: Eliot

Age: 21

Pronouns: they/them

Time zone: PST

Activity Level (Please give a number from 1-10 and an explanation): 6-ish

Tumblr account (for contact purposes): REDACTED

How did you find us?: I found you through an RPH’s shoutout/rec post

Triggers: N/A

ORIGINAL CHARACTER APPLICATION

Character Name: Joseph Attali

FC: David Mazouz (primary/preferred), Gavin Leatherwood

Date of Birth: January 21

Age: 17 years old

Character Quote: “I am a little soul carrying around a corpse.”

Gender: Male [Cis]

Pronouns: He/Him

Sexual Orientation: Questioning

Occupation: Student at Wade Academy

Affiliation: Civilian

Neighborhood: Poplar Grove

Personality: Intellectual, Observant, Empathetic, Charming, Rash, Lonely, Easily Manipulated

BIOGRAPHY

Count how many cities you have lived in, throughout your life. If you are the easily homesick, location-bound sort of personality, then perhaps you have lived in one town your entire life, never going outside the city boundaries for more than a few hours at a time. Perhaps you were once this personality, but later took flight and made a home elsewhere. Perhaps you’ve been to several places, finding each one more suitable to you than the last. Perhaps you excitedly follow opportunity like a cat does a rolling ball of yarn. Or, perhaps, you are none of these. Perhaps you are instead the soul that wishes for a permanent home, the sort of soul that finds oneself transplanted against his will. You have lost count of the cities he has lived in, and your social bonds are about as strong as the last withering strand of an old rope. You are the sort that never understands why you are uprooted as soon as you settle. If any of this describes you, then you just might find a kindred soul in a seventeen-year-old boy with a sad smile and kind eyes. If so, your first desire would be to know him, and your first impulse would be to ask his name. “Joseph,” he would say, staring at you with an odd sort of interest. “Joseph Attali.”

Just a brief show of warmth may get him to talk about his life. In his short life, he has lived in over ten different places. Some are large cities, in which he has stayed rather anonymous, and some in small towns, where a few select residents likely whisper of a boy and his father who have come, made their impact, and left. At least, that’s what Joseph likes to believe. He doesn’t like to reveal this. Otherwise, such a tell would belie his deep fear of being forgotten. There are other things he doesn’t tell either. For one, he is never quite sure of what his father does. Two, somewhere, deep within his memory, lies a story of him pleading with his father to stay in one place, only to realize the futility of begging. He represses this memory as best he can. Still, one can try to ask him about his past again. If in a lighter mood, he will talk about the odd peace that comes with an extended car ride, if one would just look out the window, defocus their eyes, and let the sights pass in a blur. Occasionally, Joseph says, a pop of color will catch your eye, and you’ll wonder what it was. As much as he wishes for a state of permanence, he rarely seems like he would understand what to do with such a place. Perhaps he is most comfortable with, or more accurately, most attuned to a state of liminality. Even the music he plays in his free time seems to induce a sense of leaving one’s body, or perhaps a sense of loneliness that has come to characterize his existence.

He cannot stay in his space-between forever, can he? Some months ago, his father had taken him to the peculiarly unnamed City, and they have somewhat settled in. Specifically, right in the homes of Poplar Grove. Joseph has taken to observing the inhabitants of his neighborhood, and then, more recently, to everyone he encounters at school. Observing, however, is not the same as knowing, let alone befriending. It had taken him several weeks to befriend a girl by the name of Emilia Sampson, whose eccentric nature drew him in like a moth to a lightbulb. When it seemed like he and his father would stay for a while, he finally let himself get attached. Perhaps, though, attachment and permanence weren’t the right choices. He had thought that he was merely becoming accustomed to growing roots, that, in time, the earth that trapped his legs would soon become a familiar comfort.

Joseph soon felt that that was not the case. It was not a matter of attachment. It was a matter of feeling that, after wandering the physical realm where he longed to belong, he has finally stepped into a dark limbo full of dead beings that sense he is alive. It was the feeling of eyes on him, at a constant. It was the feeling that, after thinking of his father as a fellow living being, that he, too, might be a ghost. It was him noticing that his friend, his now dear, eccentric, lively friend, the light in the dark, had temporarily gone missing. It was him noticing that she had plenty of secrets to keep, and tended to run as soon as one might slip out of her mouth. It was him seeing her run away, into a neck of the woods, only for her to return the next day as if nothing had happened. It was the numerous pairs of eyes he would see from the tinted windows of a house every time he walked her home. Finally, it was the loose leaf of paper on his desk that set aflame for a moment, before he patted the fire out in a panic.

CONNECTIONS

Please include up to 3 connections.

Isaac Attali (WC for more details later) Isaac Attali is Joseph’s highly educated and even more highly adaptive father. A polyglot with several skills under his belt, he has had more jobs than you can name. He also has a long history with the VFD, which he has kept a secret from Joseph. He knows exactly what the fire starters are capable of, and every time he saw one from the corner of his eye, he and his son relocated. His only reason for returning to the City is that, after a while of realizing he can’t run from the fire starters, he thinks he can at least enlist the help of the fire fighters in keeping himself and his son safe.

Emilia Sampson (WC for more details later) Emilia Sampson is the first friend Joseph made in the City. What he doesn’t know is that she is also a neophyte fire starter following a tradition set by her family, raised on secrecy and dubious morals. Part of her wants to embrace the freedom such a dubious path grants her, and another part sways toward her own idea of “good.” While Emilia wants to be a friend to Joseph, she also has to understand that he is her assignment. Why? Because she has been informed that his father is of particular importance. Not that she would tell him that. She won’t explain the reason behind her temporary disappearance either.

Piper Gardner Joseph has never taken a liking to Piper, as vivacious and popular as she is. Perhaps he just could never empathize with those who seem to have it all. Unsurprisingly, Piper hasn’t taken much of a liking to Joseph either. What Joseph hasn’t quite grasped, despite his keen observation, is the connection between Piper and Emilia. The only thing he has noticed are the strange stares they’ve exchanged in passing, but then again, he’s seeing a lot of things, isn’t he?

ADDITIONAL NOTES

3 Additional Notes/Facts/Headcanons:

Joseph Attali and his father are Sephardi Jewish, and Joseph has some command of Hebrew. One can expect to find a mezuzah on the doorpost of his bedroom. His knowledge of both English and Hebrew has led him to develop a code loosely based on Gematria, and he uses that code when he writes in his personal diary.

Joseph’s mother, Yael, had died in a freak accident when he was five years old. To this day, his father can’t quite explain the circumstances around it, but he suspects that the fire starters had something to do with it. Isaac took Joseph and left town shortly after, and it was the first time Joseph remembered being uprooted from a place.

Joseph has a love of “people watching,” and has used his findings to become an excellent mimic. However, he can’t keep up certain acts for long, as he will feel incredible exhaustion after a while of socializing around people very different from him. Only around very specific people close to him will he drop whatever act he’s putting up.

What potential plans do you have for this character?

I had put “Questioning” under Joseph’s orientation, and I plan to explore that in my writing. Heck, it might even be explored in a situation where he has detached himself from Emilia and starts making other friends – guy friends. He might strike up a friendship with one guy his age, initially to get his mind off the trouble Emilia would undoubtedly put him through. At first, he would assume that he’s just feeling a sense of relief from having a normal, not dysfunctional friendship. After a little while, though, Joseph may realize something about himself.

Joseph may meet kids his age who turn out to be fire fighters. A kid may be assigned to look out for Joseph’s well being without Joseph even knowing. It would be kind of funny if a well-intentioned neophyte Volunteer had accidentally angered Joseph, making their job of protecting him that much more difficult. Cue a series of interactions in which Joseph repeatedly asks the poor kid, “Why are you following me?”

Joseph may eventually find out the truth about his father, or the truth about Emilia – whichever happens first. Whatever the case, all of this secret-keeping would send him in a rage. He’d do something terribly impulsive, and he won’t be able to dig himself out of the consequences of his own actions. Example: seriously angering one of the fire starters.

An overall potential path of growth: Joseph may learn to trust his intuition and develop a steadier resolve. In time, he may learn who he should and shouldn’t trust, and he can soon learn to resist the manipulation tactics of anyone acting on ulterior motives.

What do you hope to bring to this roleplay with your character?

If nothing else, I’d like to bring a character that ties to this roleplay (and the ASOUE universe) thematically. Since he is new to the town (but his father isn’t, not entirely), he will have the constant experience of not knowing most people, yet most people somehow knowing him. That in and of itself could bring about really interesting interactions and conflict. (A rather funny situation that could come about: Joseph, being the excellent mimic, accidentally mimics a few VFD codes, tricking someone into thinking he is knowledgeable of and affiliated with VFD)

As for Joseph himself, he could bring a different experience as to how a teenager relates to and reacts to the existence of VFD. Piper jumped right into the fire-starter side as an escape from the mundanity of her upper crust life. Natalie became a fire fighter to do good, put their engineering skills to use and access opportunities previously barred to them. Avery is dealing with the potential to become a double agent. Arnav wants to bring joy to other people through music (fitting, considering his own experience with depression). In some way, Joseph is like these kids, his life touched by VFD in ways he doesn’t fully understand. 

However, he’s also like Adriana, who is unwittingly connected to the two different VFD sides, and Victoria, who herself is quite the actress (and is unwittingly connected to VFD through her father, Arthur). Really, he’s in-between them. Not quite so well known as famous actress Victoria, but not so disconnected (either from VFD, or from family) as Adriana. 

Enough rambling about potential connections; another thing I’d like to think about is Joseph wandering about the town, merely stumbling upon the other characters doing the oddest things (Joseph catching Natalie tinker with a rock throwing machine on the beach, or passing by Arnav’s home when he happens to be playing and feeling a deep, uncertain sense of loss, or stumbling upon Piper running away from her high society party in a now somewhat dirtied dress, or accidentally catching Victoria in a rehearsal for a school play). 

Anything Else?

Upon acceptance (if this happens), I will submit wanted connections for Emilia Sampson and Isaac Attali, which will have lengthier descriptions that will both describe the characters and set a certain tone for them.

Sidenote: I chose Emilia’s last name because Sampson comes from “Samson” – as in, Samson and Delilah. ba-dum-tsss

WRITING SAMPLE

All of those windows have eyes.

Day twenty of Emilia Sampson’s disappearance. He was sure of it. He had kept careful track of the days in his journal, each day labeled with a new letter meant to represent a numerical value. Or, rather, the first day he had noticed her gone. In his notebook, next to Hebrew letters spelling out something that roughly translated to “Day A,” he had made a note, in code, that that was the first day he had realized she had been gone for some time, and that she might have actually been gone for about three days already. Each day that she was gone, starting from the day he had actually come to the realization, he had written it down, in the corner of the page where he started a new entry. The date itself would be written on the first line, also in code. Everything was so carefully hidden. Only the Hebrew would give any indication as to how to solve his code, but even the most astute individuals would be at least a few steps removed from decoding his journal.

Standing in front of her home now, he tried to recall if he had written it down. Yes, yes I did. He had written it down, on the round corner of the page, that it was Day 20, or rather, Yom K. He had written it down, and then he had written in his journal, in code, that he had planned to visit her home. One thing he noted in his journal: she had told him not to speak to any one occupant of that home for too long. Another thing he noted: he could not figure out why she would say such a thing. In fact, she had not wanted him to see her home until circumstance made it necessary, at which time he had to walk her home in the middle of the night. Something was odd about that night too, the way details of it came back fuzzier than they should have, the vagueness with which Emilia had spoken about her troubles, the curtains pulled on each set of windows Joseph passed, and, finally, the pairs of eyes that Joseph had seen peeking out of the windows of Emilia’s house.

They had been there for a split second, and then they were gone.

Joseph had asked if Emilia had seen something, to which she had asked seen what? He hadn’t answered. He hadn’t said that he thought he saw pairs of eyes in the windows, eyes that didn’t seem to be attached to anything. He had simply shook his head, said nothing, and wished her a good night. She had wished him a good night, too, and said that she would see him tomorrow, as usual. He had not thought much of it, then. He had not of the reluctance with which she had said it, or the hurried nature of her departure after that. He had only thought of the eyes that reappeared in the windows after she had closed the door on him, and the quick disappearance of those eyes right after, as if they suddenly thought to hide from him.

Only now, staring at the few upward steps it took to get to the heavy wooden front door, did he think to ask himself why she had spoken to him the way she did.

Tightly gripping the straps of his backpack, he worked up the courage to walk up those few noisily creaking steps and rap the door knocker. Then, he waited. Waited and thought about the eyes he thought he had seen in the windows. Waited and peered at the peep hole fixed just above the door knocker, thinking that it looked like an eye. Waited and shifted his weight in such a way as to make the floorboard beneath him creak. Waited and tapped the fingers of his left hand against the seam of his backpack strap. Waited and blew a slow, quiet raspberry, his eyes darting around at the peep hole, and then at a section of the door post where he would have thought to affix a mezuzah. Mostly, he tried to ignore the unwanted warmth settling in his chest as he waited for someone, anyone, to answer the door.

Joseph bid his time until he could not take the warmth in his being anymore. Taking another look at the peep hole and thinking that it resembled an eye he had seen in the windows of Emilia’s home, he decided to turn around and just walk away. He would come back another day, he thought, when he could work up the courage to do so. Until then, he would have to settle for searching Emilia’s usual spots again and again, like a cat futilely sniffling around familiar bedsheets in search of its human companion.

[justalittlemango]

Hmmm

So uh... I haven't posted on this Tumblr for a while. A few months by the looks of it? That last post was the beginning of this year. And now it's 20th August 2021.

So what happened? Also ugh the formatting on this site. Welp, my last post seemed to be a lot about my now-ex. I'll call him Tit as I think that's an appropriate name. So yeah, he did come back sometime after I wrote that post. He came back. He seemed to have been feeling better. It was nice to see him happy and things pretty much went back to how they were before, even better if anything. Sadly that was only temporary! Well, I say sadly. Sad at the time. I don't care these days.

Something happened, he lost it over me doing literally nothing. I knew he had problems with my mental health but I don't like to be accused of all sorts when all I try to do is help. I knew at that time, that was the calling point. Cutting off ties. Because my health both mentally and physically could not deal with everything he was putting me through. I cut him off. It felt sad but I knew I had to do it. And fast forward six months later, there's been no contact between us. Thank god.

So.. that was always fun.. I lost my friends who I had met through Tit. I knew that was coming as well. I can still be mad over that, but at the end of the day, who's side are they going to stick by? Mine (someone they've only known for a few months) or his (someone they adore and known for years even.) I guess the outcome here was kind of obvious. I wish I could say I didn't care it happened, but it did hurt me. When I was already going through so much hurt just seeing that was not nice. Thankfully I was never confronted before it happened, I was just swiftly deleted/unfriended/removed and that's that.

That was the second time in a 7/8 month span that I lost friends because of these love problems. So all in all? I'm pretty fucking tired of that happening lol. Anyway, these people are irrelevant now and no longer play a part in my life. So I just need to forget about them.

So did things get any better? Yes! I met someone new. My Dommy. I joined this server in attempt to make some friends and play games with (since the friends I once did that with departed..) so I thought I'd shoot my shot there. It started off okay, I was making friends and it was fun. I met Dommy in there. There was something that caught my eye about him when I would see him chatting and stuff. We spoke to each other through DMs for a bit and played games together. It was so much fun. And the more I got to know about him the more I was like ... My god ... Because I knew I was going to catch feelings for him. Everything he was telling me about himself just made the feelings grow more and more. Like he just kept ticking my boxes in what I seek in a partner.

At first I didn't wanna catch feelings, mostly due to the fact he's 18, and I was 23 (now I'm 24 so yay). I felt the age gap would've been too weird and I wouldn't usually consider anyone that's under 21 to be a potential partner. But god it was so hard to think like that when the more I learnt about him, the more these feelings kept growing. He just knew exactly what to say. His personality and everything. He's so fun and kind. So wholesome. Positive. I find him so relatable too. I definitely didn't expect this for someone who is quite frankly, fresh into adulthood. But here we are!

Heh, let's just say I tried to dim my feelings down. And it definitely didn't work. And I remember thinking at first like, oh god he wouldn't want feelings for me I'm like 5 years older than him LOLLL. But boy was I wrong! About a month after chatting and playing games together (quite frequently too) - he told me he had a crush on me. And I remember how great that felt. It felt so... fucking... amazing. To read everything he said to me. I really didn't think he'd feel that way.. I had my suspicions on somethings but they were more just me being overly hopeful. And of course, I had to tell him I crushed him back. I had the same feelings. And ever since then it just continually grows.

26th May we decided to become long distance boyfriends. We both felt ready for it. Every day and night I got to spend with him on voice chat was SO enjoyable. It was so much fun. The love kept continuing to grow and grow. The more he told me about himself, the more he truly sounded like my perfect man. My soul mate even! And he felt the same way about it all. And now we're so clingy and romantic for each other all the time and I LOVE IT!!

Fast forward to August. We still here. We hope to meet up soon. We surround ourselves with such positive romantic energy. Inspiring each other to be our best selves. Heck, we both got jobs just so we can buy stuff for each other and visit frequently. And that's where we're at. We're awaiting the day for when we meet.

I'm so grateful for him. He changed my life around. I hit rock bottom and he full on dragged me out. Showed me that I can still love. Supported me through everything. Even with everything that happened after my ex. He was there. And still today, with everything I went through.. he had my back.

I love him so much. With everything I have. To the end of days. I've never met ANYONE like him. My past relationships don't even come close to what he and I have. And the crazy thing? He feels the same.. this is just magical. See, it would be TOO good if we were living in the same country. But alas, I am UK, he is US.. a few thousand miles away. But you know what? I'm making it my goal that we'll live together. We talk about having a family, living together, going on so many dates and just doing everything together.

It's my goal. Ultimate. Life goal. I don't want to die without being able to hold him in my arms. And very soon I hope, I will be able to hold him, watch him fall asleep in my arms and whisper "I love you" right in his ear. I 100% trust him. I've never been able to fully trust anyone in my life before. Not my previous partners or anything. But my Dommy? I trust him with my life.

But are there any issues?

Nope. Not really. Sometimes I still feel a lil weird about the age gap. I'll be meeting my boyfriend who's 18, as a 24 year old.. doing lovey things lol. Sometimes I worry about what others think about that, mostly his family. My family know about it and they think it's fine, as with my friends. I hope his family are the same! I mean, it's only 5 year difference. It's not that much at all. I just overthink it and it's a ridiculous thing to overthink! Because he is my soulmate. If anybody has a problem with it, then they'll have to deal with it. Cause I ain't going anywhere. And neither is he 😏 actually I think he'd get more sassy at them than I would!

But yeah. Uh. Anything else? Not really. He's a busy lad but I love that for him. He does so much for his family. He can do so much. Working, driving, going to college.. I'm so proud of him! And I think from what I know from his childhood, he deserves to have all these nice times with his family. So no, there are no issues between us. We have never even argued yet! And I couldn't imagine arguing with him.

So I hope next time I write here.. I'd have met him in person. And experience that. It would be the best day of my life.

____

Anyway! How am I? I'm fine right now. I'm struggling a bit because I have no money left. Kinda annoyed I spent my travel moneys on myself (because I had to.) I hope that issue will be sorted next month when I get my student loan, and hopefully this job that I interviewed for yesterday! Interview lasted over an hour and I'm only competing against one other person. So.. if I get that.. the money gonna be sweet. And you already know I'll be investing in travelling to see my Dommy!

But I also want to try to do my driving lessons. Get my own groceries again and my weight gain stuff because my body is far too skinny! I want to try and get a gym membership too while I'm at it. I say all this, but where the heck am I gonna find the time to do all this? Especially as a full time student! But I think we got this. Driving lessons aren't urgent, and even so they wouldn't take long if I do lessons in an auto. Since I've driven before. So maybe I'll only need 10 lessons.

I want to go the gym and build my body a little bit. Look a bit more in shape for when I see my boy hehehe.

So yeah, lack of money is my main issue here. I can't afford to go out and get my own food and supplements. So until I get my moneys, my mood is going to be patchy. It'll be worth the wait though if things go all out to plan.

Anything else on my mind? Well.. being back here in B'ham! I don't particularly feel safe here. Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy to be back with my parents. And not have to pay rent on a student house.. but that does come with some negatives... Quite a few negatives. These being.. lack of privacy, not being able to make a lot of noise late at night, not feeling safe in the city, issues with bathroom/showers, and the god forsaken slow internet.

Positives though? Being with my parents, in the big city where everything is, good stores and nightlife. Few friends are here. Though not too many I'm interested in seeing. Lol. I guess I'm in the middle of everything too so if I wanted to travel out of city to see someone , I have the option to do so.

So.. yeah! A lot more good than bad going on right now and thank god. Because how this year started was awful. It was literally the hardest time of my life to get through it. And everything that happened in the summer, I'm so grateful for. And my Dommy. I'm so happy he came into my life. I feel honoured and blessed to be in a relationship with him.

I hope things go to plan. I'm in my last year of university, and will be graduating next year. So that should be exciting! And then I have plans to study at BCU next year to do a master degree in UX! Which is exactly the kind of thing I want to get into! So that's a good two years of a steady income from student finance, and hopefully this part time job! So fingers crossed these plans will work out.

Those are my goals that I see in the distance. Travel to see my boyfriend, graduate and get onto that post-grad course! My short term goals. Oh and also get a part time job. Lol. My long term goals is to honestly.. immigrate to the US. I know it sounds wild. But it's what I want. I need to be with my boyfriend. Start a life with him. And spend the rest of my life with my Dommy. I don't know when I'd ever be able to live with him.. but let's just say you need to have a strong background to be accepted as a US citizen. But with the plans I got...it should work! Having a master's degree and hopefully someone will hire a UX designer from the US and sponsor me! With some luck.

How long do I think that would take? Probably sometime within the next 5 years.. I hope. If I'm lucky! And interesting to think, in 5 years I'm 28, and my boyfriend will be 23! Which I think is the perfect time in both our lives to find a place together to live and be happy.

I feel with that, being away from my parents via long distance is going to be VERY difficult. But I'd try my best to visit them for a month or so. And of course, I still want to support them even if I am living abroad.

Ok. Here is the end of the post. I hope I don't look back at this in a few months and laugh. I know not all of this will work out, but I hope most of it will! So yeah, here's to the future! To good health, happyness, and my boyfriend of course ;)

-mangiiii

[jorjathomas]

Lifestyle trends based on my target audience

When research gaps in the market, I began to think of ways I could get as much content in my zine. Although I had my own personal advice and tips, I also need some content that would help enable more engagement. This is why I have began to look at potential lifestyle trends from the website LSN so I could use in my zine. I also looked into my target audience and how they are researched to behave so I can understand my target audience better. My age group will be people aged 16-24 meaning currently, most of these women fall into Generation Z.

Article 1: How Joy scrolling can uplift brand storytelling (March 2021)

The first article I looked into explains the new aesthetic for story telling. As the pandemic hit, there was a lot of bad news surfaced. Artists took a step forward to create uplifting news and advice that can help distract society and focus on the good temporarily. Ives seen this surge of design all over the internet and a lot of news has been produced in an artistic way to make the articles easier to read. This is a less intimidating approach to new which i like and want to follow for the magazine however i am also weary of the dangers of this. I don't want to distract or wash the important information with pretty art but influence it to be more visible. This article helped influence my decision as this way for creating has become popular in society. A lot of this style seems to be digital however I hope to move this movement into physical consumerism to aid the popularity of magazines.

Here are some examples which were published on the LSN article. (March 2021)

Spreading this positivity across social media has created a lifted and conscious internet algorithm and i think has broken the dark internet cycle of having to look perfect and be ‘amazing’ all of the time. Getting rid of this influencer life and spread important events and news that could educate a person is much more important than having to look a certain way to feel accepted. I wish to do this with my zine and these examples validify my urge to change and create a positive society.

When completing trend research, we looked at trends for the summer and there seemed to be a lot more colour plastered onto life. I can see this now coming into action with this new approach to news by adding sketches and other forms of art into important messages and advice. Just like the Trend project, I hope to bring a euphoric feel and uplift a reader with the assistance of bright colours.

Article 2: Need to know (11/02/21)

The second trend article i looked at involved a lot of information which became popular over the new year. The most distinctive article was about post pandemic self-care. As you should know already, this subject is heavy within my concept so I was interested to see what has changes when taking care of yourselves pre and post covid lockdown. This LSN article states that-  ‘Many US citizens plan to continue engaging in the self-care routines they've established during the pandemic.’

The Need to know article also reports that- ‘According to a recent survey conducted by OnePoll for US wellness software company Vagaro, two-thirds (67%) of people agreed that the routines they developed during the pandemic have become a permanent part of their life. Meanwhile, 69% of respondents say they plan to dedicate more time to self-care in 2021 than they did in the previous year.’

I am happy to see this occurring within peoples life as this is the perfect opportunity to use my zine to spread this awareness. My zine should produce self- care tips that can help them to continue this dedication. Although this is my sole purpose of the zine, I also think I should add personal and education information that can assist the zine in becoming more personal and enjoyable to read as there is more than one category.

Article 3: Reading Market (March 2021)

This was probably the most informative article from the four I looked at on LSN as I was able to understand how much demand there is for reading. There's a obvious increase in digital media so I am interested to develop ideas that could help these statistics transform into the physical media outlets. The LSN articles says that- ‘According to Nielsen, time spent reading books among UK consumers has nearly doubled – from an average of three-and-a-half hours per week to six hours.’ Knowing that there is a growth in reading eases my worry of my magazine not gaining any recognition especially since I plan to print physical copies. They also state that- ‘As well as offering solace, comfort and helping to bolster knowledge, the reading market is adapting. It's embracing digital acceleration through new interactive formats, while also tuning in to the desires of younger generations, namely their ethical mindsets. For brands, media outlets and publishers, even greater disruption awaits a sector that has long been bound to tradition.’

‘We were expecting possibly to see a spike in comfort reads, like cosy crime or light comic novels,’ says Jess Harrison’

From this information, I can see there is a demand in books and most importantly pivotal media. The drastic change from fiction books decreasing and non-fiction becoming popular, proves the fact that people want to become more educated about world matters which they may not have had to do previously. I must remember to add in important information about specific matters I’d like to cover to aid the increase in monumental reads. My only dilemma is the competition with digital reads as screen time as plummeted this past year. Publishing physical copies carries a lot more problems. For example; when I’d publish I would want the copies to be long term for readers, having content that they can keep referring to rather than quick consumption. This would help reduce the carbon footprint of the magazine. I would defiantly want to be a sustainable zine, having more authentic materials that would not only benefit the planet but also add texture to the brand. The article states that- ‘Publishing house Penguin, meanwhile, is taking an environment-first approach to bookselling, targeting the 65% of readers who prefer the tactile experience of a physical book while addressing the impact on the planet. Its Naked Books are printed on demand, use recycled paper, eschew cover art in favour of a simple manuscript, and are delivered using carbon-neutral transport.’

Following up with the digital competitors this fact proves this point. Despite this I can use technology to my advantage when I would publish the book. For example using YouTube or TikTok to improve new customers with the help of algorithms etc.

Above is a digital book company which would be my competitor along side Audio books and Kindle. These have grown in the past year as there is a wider platform for smaller authors to get their books known.

Article 4: Anxiety Rebellion (2018)

Despite this trend report being slightly older than the others, I thought it would be intriguing to see if this article has come into play in the more recent years or if my magazine could do this instead to make this trend more long lasting. This article was under the macro trend category on the content page of LSN meaning this should still be present within todays society and I can apply it to my work. This article provides a insight on the new generation and how they are more diverse in comparison to Millennials creating a new wave of life. I looked into this survey by IPSOS MORI below to get a better understanding of my target market of gen z’s.

This video was attached to this article and it was brought to my attention quickly as I think it perfectly portrays my ideas and thoughts around my idea which you may not have seen yet. The next post will be the full advertisement of this video which was made by ASOS. This advertises Collusion which is a brand created by ASOS that offers clothing and accessories for the new generation. They spread positivity and urge consumers to invert their own style.

Gen z:

A quote from IPSOS- ‘For previous generations of teens, anxiety could be attributed to teenage angst – a temporary cocktail of the hormones and emotions that come with growing up – but Generation Z are fighting this stereotype. Rather than allowing themselves to become trapped in a web of anxiety, teens are speaking out against practices that cause them unnecessary pressure and turning their worries into productivity. In September 2018, a 15-year-old student tweeted ‘stop forcing students to present in front of the class and give them a choice not to’, garnering more than 130,000 retweets and nearly half a million likes.’

As seen from previous events from the past year, teenagers are becoming more vocal on specific matters important to them. I am pleased by this as I think they are breaking this preformed ways of living, how to behave and creating a new and more expressive society.  IPSOS Mori’s recent survey found that, ‘contrary to many clichés about today’s young, our new survey data and analysis reveals a better behaved, more trusting, socially minded and less materialistic generation’. There are many prejudgments about teenagers however, everyone has been one at some stage of their life. The common personality assumptions are laziness, rudeness and anti-social behaviour. Seeing the survey data results and proving these judgments wrong is refreshing. Teenagers actually are more motivated than ever and I hope to give them help. The survey also states that Generation Z are showing new attitudes to their placement in the world. for example, improved self-care solutions, spiritual healing practises, cleaner lifestyles, future-proof financial systems and a new entrepreneurial mindsets. These features have defiantly broke the judgments and are radically different from the actions of the former generations. As you can see in the states on the post- ‘Which noted that illicit drug use by US teenagers, including cocaine and heroin, fell from 22.6% in 2007 to 14% in 2017. The study also found that teenagers are having significantly less sex.’

To conclude this post, researching current lifestyle trends within the current youth market has further developed the urgency for a demand of zines like this. I am excited to begin some creative processes now and really make these ideas come together with the help of this trend research.