#and like logically i know i don't HAVE to finish all and every project in span of a few month hopefully I have my whole life to write fics
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+ of organising all the writing projects in notion: I have an aesthetic todo list!
- of organising all the writing projects in notion: a have a fucking todo list and all my 12 unfinished project are staring in my soul
#ok most of those are translations#some of them are in the editing stage even#but 5 of those 12 are maxi fics in various stages of wip?#ehhhhhhh#and I want to update formatting on all the old fics because I finally googled how to css the indented 1st line of a paragraph#but I dont' want to apply it to all p tags in the workskin because it messes up fucking A/N#so I need to add new class to tags and it's annoying in case of multichapters#weeeeell to be finished in 10 years I guess?#and like logically i know i don't HAVE to finish all and every project in span of a few month hopefully I have my whole life to write fics#but then I see ppl screaming crying throwing up because the fic they're reading had no updates for 6 month and they declare the author dead#and here I am in the corner trying to complete something while the hobby focus circulated to the right spot#I know I vent too much about my fics but I moved websites and lack of feedback is driving me nuts but I'm not going back to ficbook N O P E
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Her Favorite
[DOM! G!P Jennie x SUB! fem! reader]
[!SMUT!] & [FLUFF]
Summary: You and your older sister Nayeon went to Jennies penthouse to do a project together planning an all nighter to finish it, not knowing that you and Jennie will be up all night for a different reason...
Word count: 3.9k
(°=°): Been waiting to publish thiss, a pretty long read. I'm excited for what's about to come out for you guys. Enjoy (°3°)!
"God... You make me go insane Y/n"
(°=°)
7:06 PM
You and your older sister; Nayeon arrived at her best friends luxurious penthouse where the entire floor of her place is empty due to her renting it all for less inconvenience and hussle from other people. Which is where you didn't get her logic, why would she buy a penthouse if she didn't want to socialize in the first place?
Nayeon said it's nothing deep because she's rich and can do what ever she wants. Which you agree, she can do what ever she wants. Although it really did make you curious about the older girl. She seems to have so many mysteries, she has an appearance of an angel. Mellifluous voice to manipulate, her sexy body to seduce, and her sweet and rich smell to get you hooked of her presence immediately.
She's Kim Jennie, THE IT GIRL of her and Nayeons university, where is to which you wonder how she still doesn't have a boyfriend to spend some time on. By her looks alone, she could get anyone she wants. Al though, from what you've heard from Nayeons other classmates, she isn't really... The nicest girl, she is cold with both her looks and personality. Not wanting to do anything with other people that she doesn't find important.
Nayeon is her bff ever since childhood and so, you got to know her when the older girls were in highschool. Ever since then she grew fond of you, she nicknamed you baby since you were the maknae(youngest) of the house, but in general, she calls you every sweet names there is in the world.
And so in return, you nicknamed her Nini, it was simple yet cute at the same time. But as you grew older, you can't help but fall for the older girl, she's so sweet, so caring, so gentle, and so kind to you. It's like she feels the same way as you. But of course, you can't get ahead of yourself.
A knock was made by your sister while you wave at the cctv door. Feeling a little nervous, hoping that no one else was taking Jennies time. Sounds selfish but you wanted Jennies pampering to you only. She always asks how your day was going, if you've eaten yet, if you're comfortable, if you're having fun, if you're hungry, and if you need her. She felt like another older sister to rely on and yet you have completely fallen for her. But everyone has skeletons in their closets, and this night is where you discover your Nini's.
"Behave alright? Me and your Nini have to do a project together. Don't make her angry okay?" Nayeon reminded with a serious tone, her pretty round eyes shining with the light of the fancy wall lamp. She explained in the past how Jennie can get... Aggressive when angry but you've never made her nor seen her angry before have you? Recalling all your times together. She was just loving, sweet, clingy, and touchy to you. Whenever you acted a little bratty she never sounded irritated nor annoyed, so you've yet to see her in a scary state.
"I know, I already told you that I'd be okay alone at home. I don't want to bother you guys" You explained feeling a little guilty to be a nuisance to the older girls you look up to the most. Nayeon smiles and soon showed her adorable bunny tooth, her hand coming up to pet your head. You were used to such demeanor, being the youngest and having such lovable and charming charisma it's hard not to like you.
"Come on you big baby, I know you'd get bored when I'm not at the house. Besides I have to watch you just in case you do something stupid" The older girl laughed messing up your hair a little bit. You pout at her words, fixing your hair you soon huffed. "I'm old enough to be responsible unnie..." , Sulking at your older sisters tease. She apologize and quickly reasoned that her and jennie will need a stress reliever for the difficult project that was assigned to them. You hummed in response still pouting. And then finally, the door opened revealing Jennie with her luscious hair, sharp yet feminine features, and her full cherry lips looking kissable as ever. You soon looked at her outfit for the night. Short black cycling shorts letting her milky white legs get exposed and a pink cardigan over a white spaghetti strap making her breast look more defined. You slightly blush at such a majestic sight, stomach filled with butterflies. Her eyes met yours and she immediately broke a smile, her face growing soft.
"Hey guys... Sorry for the long wait, I was preparing for our little girls night in" She apologized and quickly opened the door for the both of you. Nayeon shook her head and said that it was okay since it was her home in the first place. She hugged her best friend tightly and with a big gummy smile. Thinking to yourself;
'How can someone be this beautiful?' Waiting for your turn for a welcoming hug, one the greetings you look forward with her the most. The two separated as she then hugged you, seemingly tighter than Nayeon. Hugging her back you can't help but notice her inhaling your scent, making you shiver a little. She snuggled at your neck and sighed. "So warm..." She whispered to only you can hear. Your cheeks immediately turning red.
"Come on you two we need to start so we could finish early" Nayeon chuckled, leading to you and Jennie to break the perfect hug. She grinned at you as Nayeon looked away, making you flustered. She came closer to you while walking towards the big living room.
"I missed you cutie, let's have fun tonight okay?" Jennie whispered while caressing your hand. Heart almost exploding, you nodded with excitement. Fantasizing the bonding you two will make for the night.
(°=°)
2:39 AM
The evening went well, with the two older girls spilling some unsaid tea together from their university, snacks being laid out on the glass coffee table that's mostly your favorite since they knew you were going to get bored, and rants about how the project was so hard and their professor didn't even teach how to accomplish it.
Jennies clinginess was never weird to you, infact you were delighted at the thought of the mean girl of the university had a soft spot for you. And of course making your little crush for her go insane when you two make physical contact. You eyed the bowl only half full of macaroons, you take one. Taking the cute pink macaron with your two fingers, you analyze its soft bread and smooth cream, you wonder if Jennie bought it or baked it herself. The older girl with feline eyes was clinging on to you for dear life, laptop on the table, comforter covering the both of your lower body, Jennies smooth legs intertwined with yours and sometimes rubbing them on your thighs making you shiver a bit, her body leaning towards you and her hands roaming on you upper body part, mostly on your tummy and smooth arms when she takes her breaks.
"Nini, did you bake this on your own?" You asked, referring to the cute macaroon between your fingers, she looked at your small hands and brushed her palm on your exposed thigh.
"I didn't baby, I bought it from a bakery down the street, do you want me to make those for you?" She asked softly, her hands going deeper to your inner thigh almost caressing your clit. Your legs twitched and slightly tightened at the sudden contact. She kept rubbing your inner thighs while making eye contact making your stomach bubble up and your pussy to get wet.
"N-nini..." You whimpered out nudely as she started to brush on your clit that's growing more hungry for her touch. She hummed and gets more bold, fingers running a cross your core leaving you to moan. She came closer to your ear,
"Answer my question baby. Don't make me wait" She said sternly, her fingers still in between you thighs while your pussy was throbbing for her. You look at the door of the room where your sister was sleeping soundly in since she really couldn't take the all nighter. It was shut tight and knowing Nayeon, she's a heavy sleeper. This was Jennies perfect time to make you hers and hers only.
"Y-yes...please make me a-ah!" You squealed as she put more pressure on your core. Tears rolling down your cheeks from the pain of needing pleasure. She licked your tears on your cheek and slowly kissed your lips. Her lips being soft and wet while putting her hands on your shoulder pushing you down on the couch and she put her knee in between you thighs for some friction. Still making out, your legs shook with the uneasy feeling. You always wanted to this with her but, does this mean your Nini loves you back? With the thought in your mind, she then kissed your pretty neck, leaving traces of her rosy lipstick and her hands groping your boobs. Your mind started to circuit as you didn't know what to do, your pussy won't stop throbbing and your needs for Jennie were just growing. Another moan left your mouth, Jennie standing up as she kept your head up to only letting your eyes go on her, no where else.
"Nini what are you doing..." You whispered with flushed cheeks. She sat between your legs but still a little taller. Looking up, you saw lust and hunger in her eyes, at this point you would do anything for her, even if it means losing your virginity to her. She reached for your hand and lead it up to her big breast letting you really feel her, she moans and cups your cheeks with one of her free hand. This turned you on even more, the pain growing sharply in your core.
"Fuck... like it baby? Want to feel your Nini more?" She asked with the most flirtatious smirk, you eagerly nodded basically moaning at the thought of being able to touch her. She made you rest on your back on the couch and took off her bra. Having full view of her glorious breast, you hesitated to touch them, looking at the older girl for consent. She chuckled and caressed your cheek once more.
"It's okay baby, come on. Touch your Nini, make me feel good..." She reassured, you felt like you were in a trance, Jennie looked like an absolute goddess on top of you. You started to fundle her boobs and flicked her nipples making her moan lowly. Jennies praises wasn't helping the still growing sensation from your pussy. Jennie lowered her body more and you immediately take her boob into your mouth. Sucking on her hard nipples while playing with her other boob.
"... Ah-ah, Yes baby, you know how to make me needy so bad..." Jennie whispered, rolling her eyes in the top her head. Her thick cock throbbing for your cunt. She's been fantasizing about you for years, fucking you in her pent house, in the university, in your own house when Nayeon is home so there's a thrill! She was obsessed with you, she wants to fuck you until all her cum is in your womb.
You felt hot at the praise, not being able to hold the pain, you stopped and looked up at Jennie with tearful eyes. String of saliva connecting your lips and her soft breast.
"Nini... It hurts...down there" You said as the tears rolled down with the blush never going away. Being this vulnerable was rare, but you can't take it anymore. Jennie was in awe, her baby was as needy as her. She then smirked and sat up, her cock visible in her cycling shorts. Rubbing her cock up and down getting excited by your tearful expression. Even when her dick was clothed, she still looked so big and thick, you didn't know if you could take all of her.
"Want me baby? Want me to make you cum until your legs are shaking?" She asked as she took of her shorts leaving her large cock to sprung out, standing on all its glory. It was so veiny with the tip having a cute shade of pink. But you can't help but feel nervous at her size. Your mouth was agape while panting, not realizing to yourself that you were drooling. Which Jennie found adorable, leaning down and licking your saliva on the corner of your lips.
"So cute... Ah, I just want to fuck you senselessly" She whispered, shivering from her dick making contact to your stomach, her pre cum visible. Gulping at the sight, you reached up and hugged Jennies neck, kissing her deeply. You could feel jennies grin in the kiss, her hands automatically going to your breast. She tasted like addicting cherries, probably from her chapstick, her tongue beating you over dominance making you moan into the kiss.
Jennie pulled away, making you whine at the fast end of the kiss. Saliva drooling on the sides of you mouth.
"Ni...ni..." You whined with a pleading face, this only made jennie more excited, she wanted you to plead for her every sign of affection. She made your mouth open with her soft finger tips and fingered your mouth with two fingers mixing you gag a little. She brushed on your tongue feeling weird but good at the same time. She then spat in your mouth making her own saliva on your tongue while still fingering your mouth.
"Swallow" Jennie ordered with her fingers still in your mouth, you immediately obliged, mouth closing in her fingers while swallowing her and your own saliva, shivering at her finger rubbing on your tongue. She gently pulled out and licked her entire fingers clean. Smirk forming on her lips while looking at your shocked and flustered face.
"Good job baby... you're such a good girl for your nini. I think it's time for your reward..." She licked her lips, going down to your clothed cunt. You were wearing a cute tennis skirt, one of Jennies favorite skirt for you to wear. She pushed the skirt to the side and licked your pussy with still your panties on. Flinching at the sudden sensation you put your hand on her hand and whimpered. Jennies cock growing impatient, she then sucked on your pussy finally getting a taste of you.
"A-ah nini!" You were so sensitive, anything can make you cum at this point, Jennie then took your skirt and panties off. As much as she loves that tennis skirt. She loves the thought of fucking you for the first time naked more, having the view of you perfect body all to herself more. Sitting up, she started to stroke herself as she asked if she could undress your upper part. You nodded, feeling a little bit embarrassed, but to jennie, she saw you as her perfect Y/n, your body having perfect curves that she longed to see, messy hair spread along the couch as a few strands was on your shoulder and arms, lips a little swollen from the make out session, and your eyes filled with tears from the pleasure and pain from the long anticipation.
Her cock can't help but twitch at the most beautiful sight. She bit her lip,
"Fuck... So pretty baby. I can't wait anymore..." She moaned hungrily, going down to your cunt and started eating you out with full passion and desire. You moaned out her name loudly, spreading your legs more for her to get more access. She then entered one finger in your pussy while still sucking on your clit. making you lose your senses. For waiting for such a long time, your sensitive bud can't help but cum fast.
"Please...god nini I-i can't" You stuttered, clawing at her hair and legs squeezing her head together, signaling her that you're about to finish. She raised her hand and intertwined it with yours once more, as she entered another finger and fastened her pace, curling her fingers, making you lean over the edge. Cumming all over her face while not being able to control your loud moans. Hips bucking, legs shaking, tears forming, and mouth drooling from such orgasm.
The sweat on your body, shining perfectly to make you glow. Hand covering your mouth while panting, trying to catch your breath.
"So good baby, good job..." Jennie whispered while drawing circle on your pretty stomach. Making you shiver, your eyes closing and feeling Jennies touch all over your body.
"Think you can take me now baby?" She asked positioning her tip to only brush on your entrance teasingly. You don't think you can, but you'll try for your Jennie. However, something dawned you, before saying anything you thought of what will happen tomorrow morning and how your relationship will change in the future. More over, what's your relationship right now? Are you still friends?, lovers?, flings?, fuck bodies?! You start to panic, you love the older girl so much, but you don't want to be connected through just hot sex. And you definitely don't want to act like this never happened tomorrow. And then another hard thought hit you right in the heart, what if she distance herself from you? Feeling uncomfortable or even disgusted on what will happen if you continue. You started to cry and gently pushed Jennie off with a pained expression.
The feline eyed girl immediately sensed something was wrong. She thought you wanted it as much as she did. So what's wrong with her Y/n? "Love what's wrong? Are you not ready? Uncomfortable, feeling sick? What is is?" She asked so gently, you cant help but cry even more feeling guilty for denying her release. You shook your head avoiding eye contact while attempting to stand up and leave the couch, but your wonky and sensitive legs weren't helping. Jennie immediately stood up to help you from behind as support.
"I-i gotta go..." You whispered while snuffling, head down with still shaking legs with Jennie's arms wrapped around your hips trying to help you stand up without your legs giving out. Jennies eyes widened, she can't let you leave just like that, she will do everything for you to be hers and for her to be yours. "I don't get it love what's wrong please... I can't live a day with the thought of me doing something wrong to you, please... Talk to me my girl" Her voice trembled with the fear of losing you, she rested her head on your shoulder with her lips making contact with your soft skin. You stayed silent, not wanting to sound entitled of her feelings. Who were you for Jennie to love back right? A long wait of silence that felt like an eternity passed, you felt sudden wet and warm tears on your shoulder. Jennie was crying, biting her lips and tightening her hug on you, she can't let the girl of her dreams get away.
"Please..." She pleaded shutting her eyes tight letting her tears flow down even more. You can't do it anymore, your heart can't ache this much for the person you loved the most.
"I love you nini... I love you s-so much, I'm scared that if we do this... everything will change. I want to be your lover. Not just someone who can pleasure you...." You confessed, voice cracking from such pain and sadness you were in. Your heart beating so fast to the point where you can hear every single pump of blood it made.
"Who said I didn't love you?" Jennie asked in you ear, her hand intertwining with yours. She then gently made you face her, seeing her all messy and tearful, it made you feel guilty.
"My Y/n, I love you so much... Maybe a little too much. So never assume that my love for you has limits" She reassured you, your mouth quivering from such heart warming words." So please Y/n, let me declare my love to you, and make you mine and only mine" She promised with determine eyes and lips. The butterflies again reappearing in your stomach. You can't lose anything at this point, and you trust her so much. The feeling of desire of her got back. Smiling, you nodded.
"Please... Please show me how much you love me Nini..." And that was enough to set Jennie off. Taking your hand once more, and she took you to her master bedroom. Pushing you down on the soft comforter you can't help but smile knowing that you both love each other so much. Remembering Jennies words and how much she would do anything for you. "Ready my love?" She asked, rubbing on your bud for you to be more wet. You nodded with a smile and kissed her lips.
"I love you my Nini" you whispered and with those words, she felt eager for you to cum. "I love you more baby" She declared with such a soft voice. She entered inside you, slow and gentle since she knew this was all new to you. Arching your back at her size you close your eyes while grinding on you teeth. "You okay baby?" She asked still trying to make you comfortable with her hand on you cheek. You nodded, the feeling of excitement started as Jennie was almost completely in. Her cock stretching you out on all the right places. You were about to go insane! Whimpering with all the pleasure and pain at the same time, Jennie was breathing heavily. She can't help it, you felt so tight and warm she just wanted to ram inside you hard. You soon noticed Jennie who was frozen in place fighting the urge to thrust in you in the most hardest way possible.
"It's okay Nini... please take me as you like" You smile reassuringly, as long as Jennie was happy you we happy. She Lowered her body and soon kissed your ear while slowly thrusting, hands roaming around your body. "Thank you so much baby, just tell me when to stop..." She whispered all so lovingly, the room starting to get filled with moans and nude sounds from the fastening pace of Jennies hips. Her cock hitting all the amazing spots that leads to your orgasm.
You hear Jennie curse under her breath as she sat up still fucking you hard, bed dancing along her pace. "So fucking pretty baby... My Y/n..." She groaned going even more faster, acting like this is the last time she can fuck you. Your eyes watering again for the hundredth time this night, you whimpers grew louder with the pleasure Jennie was giving you. The familiar feeling forming in you stomach.
"A-ah Nini wait... I'm.." You rambled not being able to finish your sentence as you kept you focus on your coming orgasm with Jennie going even more harder giving emphasis in her thrusts with an amazing rythm. Hands gripping on the sheets with an arc back, you came with angelic moans that sent Jennie over the edge as well, with her cum painting your walls and inside your womb. But still not stopping, she kept thrusting with stuttering hips from her climax. "W-wait unnie I can't!" You got taken a back, your pussy was so sensitive and it only hugged jennies cock more with her warm cum still inside you. She didn't even get limp, in fact you think she only got harder from the orgasm. Still going with a fast pace that the room was echoing with full skin slapping and moaning from the both of you, you felt like fainting, you were getting too overstimulated but god did it feel amazing.
An unfamiliar feeling formed in your stomach, from too much pleasure you felt like something was coming but this time, much more intense. "Unnie I-I ah-!" You moaned while she thrusted even faster and harder making sure to pleasure you. You soon whimpered out while squirting all over jennie. Your hips bucking and stuttering while Jennie got more hungry to cum in you. "God baby you squirted? So good.... Fuck more baby do it again for me?" She asked and when you thought she couldn't fuck you more hard and good, she did! Abusing your already tired cunt out to its limits. Your moans grew louder and louder with the tears rolling down your cheeks none stop. Jennie wanted more, she wanted you to feel insane with the sensation, putting pressure on your bud and soon rubbed it through circular motions. You immediately screamed in pleasure getting close again.
"Fuck I just w-wanna cum in you until I'm dry...god... you make me go insane Y/n" She confessed with one last thrust making you squirt non stop and while she completely came in you with shaking hips, this time she thrusted every pump of cum that came out and into your pussy so you can get all of it, with every thrust you squirted your juices out. You felt bliss all over your body, your stomach feeling so warm and full with tear stains on your cheeks. Jennie catching her breath while watching you tremble and shake from such pleasure that she caused you. She pulled a smirk and went down to kiss your cute lips and soon bit it causing for blood to seep into both of your mouths. Was this heaven? You asked yourself feeling warmth from the girl you loved so much. You two separated from the lack of air, but neither of you wanted to stop, Jennie with her sharp gaze on you, she licked her lips and formed a mischievous smile,
"Ready for round three my baby?"
(°=°')
4:02 AM
After the heaven and bliss that you two experienced, Jennie did after care for you. She can't let her princess go to bed uncomfortable. Bathing you with her scented soap and bath salt making you smell like her. Not forgetting to make you hers for the last time for the night, confessing both of your love to each other.
A/N:
This took me foreverrrrr. Anyways I love this one, I hope you guys enjoyed. Belated happy birthday to my baby jennie!, this was supposed to come out on her bday but I was busy with things. Also I accidentally deleted a request post while writing it so now the req is gone (°^°) I'm working on the req rn I'm so sorry for the long wait anon!
(°=°)
#jennie#kim Jennie#jennie blackpink#blackpink#jennie x female reader#smut#fluff#hyun#jennie x reader#yn#blackpink x reader#twice#nayeon#im nayeon#pang
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A Little World of Our Own- P. 1
Your eyes blink open, haze clouding your vision for a minute before consciousness reasserts itself and you awaken for real. It takes a moment longer for you to register the roughness of the sheets under your hands and the warmth trapping you as you lie in what must be your bed.
It's sticky and hot and you must have been lying here a long time, so you sit up, sore body punishing you for your choice. A glance around the room tells you little more, with stone and mortar walls, rough-hewn board floors, and a scattering of oil lamps across the mantle, larder, and the small table by your bedside. You find a clay mug of water there and you drain it immediately, suddenly parched.
Where... where are you? Another glance at the room and it hits that there really isn't much beyond this one room. The only door you can see seems to be the one outside and from your bed you spy a small stove and all the various bits and bobs that indicate that this is a space well lived-in, intended for every form of living. A cast off knitting project even peers at you from a bag hanging off your wardrobe, one stocking long since finished, the other halfway there.
Have you truly been living here long? This must be your bed, you wouldn't be sleeping in it if it weren't, but try as you might, you can't recall knowing how to knit, or cooking at the stove, or lighting all the lamps. You pause, breath catching in your throat.
You're not sure you remember your name.
How can this be your house if you don't even know your name? Your hands fist in the rough-spun cotton as you come to terms with your strange awakening, too overwhelmed to peer around further, eyes locked firmly on the floor.
There's a rug there. It's round, grey and white. The patterns look nice, if a bit abstract. You let your focus travel along the swoops and swirls long enough for the tension in your shoulders to ease and with a gusty sigh, you flop backwards, head hitting your lone pillow with a dull thump. The ceiling is about as exciting as your floor and you stare at that instead.
What do you know? Not much. The home you're in isn't yours, you're wearing- a glance down- a long-sleeved gingham nightdress in light green, and everything seems to be a lot older than you feel is appropriate. Oil lamps, really? Something about that just seems... inefficient.
You laugh at yourself for the thought, a little hysterical. Inefficient, really? The entire world is beyond your understanding and you feel that the lighting system is inefficient? What a way to wake up.
A shift and something crunches under your body, startling you into shifting over and pulling the sheets away to get a closer look. The fractured remains of what seems to be a gemstone peer up at you from the space by your waist and you gently collect the fragments, wary of the sharper edges and glittering dust.
Do broken gemstones follow the same rules as broken glass? You aren't sure but keep your sparkling hands well away from your face as you take a closer look.
Altogether, the fragments seem to make up the shape of an oval stone, silver like a diamond with smooth planes on the front and back. Despite knowing logically that you should be able to see your hand through the larger pieces given the stone's clarity, somehow the gem pieces remain totally opaque.
It's as you take up one of the larger pieces to hold it to the light from a nearby window that you hear the door open and your heart leaps into your throat, gaze still fixated on the fragment.
"Ah. So that's how it is."
The light does nothing, the silver sliver remains stubbornly clouded.
"That's a mage stone, in your hand. Given that it's broken, I don't think I'll be seeing the original owner of this place any time soon, so you may as well introduce yourself. You are this cottage's new owner and I'd hate to be rude to my new neighbor."
"I'm sorry, what?"
The man who meets your startled gaze is unlike anyone who you've ever seen before, and it's more than your lacking memory saying that. His eyes are the palest blue you've ever known, more like the gem shards in your hand than any shade found in a human face. Grey hair frames his expression in loose waves and though the cut of his outfit is simple, the white button-down shirt and neat black slacks are pressed and starched into an image of gentility.
A neat mole just to the lower left of his lips completes the look and it tugs up as he notices your ogling, a teasing grin following shortly after.
"Azul. Azul Ashengrotto. And you?"
You blink back to yourself, flushing at your shamelessness. "I- ah. I don't know? I woke up here and I can't remember a thing. You said this place is mine now? Where am I?"
He seems taken aback somehow and something twists in your gut as he looks away, grin morphing into something more bitter. You draw your knees up to your chest as Azul moves to sit at the foot of your bed, his gaze blank as he moves to roll up his sleeves in careful, practiced motions.
"You're my patient, and I, your doctor. I serve the whole town- Little Grove- but you've been in my care for the past month as I live nearby and the work was paid for in advance by your predecessor. I believe you'll be seeing me often in the future, if your words are to be believed."
You huff at the thought of this Azul thinking you a liar and his eyes flicker to you at the noise, crinkling in amusement.
"Yes yes, I know, stop pouting. In any case, your lack of memory may be a boon to you; a fresh start was your predecessor's wish and you can hardly get fresher than wiping your memory entirely."
Your mouth drops open, upset forgotten. "They did what? That's a thing?"
Azul stretches his legs out and leans back on his hands, tilting his head at you with a cool look. "Yes, that was my reaction when they brought it up with me. Magic exacts a price to match, not that it stopped them and I think my reaction only goaded them on. They were stubborn to a fault and that was the nail in their coffin; spite is a powerful motivator."
You blink in shock, leaning back against your headboard as you process that. Azul seems caught up in his memories, expression distant despite him looking right at you.
"Your predecessor moved into this cottage in Little Grove about a year or two back, then ignored the world in favor of their research. The money they could've earned anywhere else is double or triple what they earned here, but they persisted. I never asked and they never said, and within the year, they fell ill and could hardly leave the house. By the time I became of aware of the situation, it was too late."
"Then... why are you here?" You can't help but ask.
"Simple," Azul shrugs, the gesture strangely at odds with his starched appearance. "They left a pouch of money on my doorstep with a letter. Enough to care for them in their final weeks of life, instructions on what to do if they recognized me. And lastly, what to do if they... didn't."
Azul bows his head and looks at you from the corner of his eye, critical and bitter. You can't tell if the lingering sharpness is directed at you or himself and you hold your tongue, unsure of what to say. The implications make you feel ill.
"I won't apologize for all this, the fault lies solely with the person who's body you're wearing. I can only promise that I'll be here to help until the month's end, and from there you'll be on your own. For what it's worth, though-"
and Azul's gaze is a blistering, heated thing-
"I have never been one to fail. By the month's end, you'll be able to ensure your own happiness. I promise."
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Dead Poet Date Hc's
Anderperry - Chased by Walt Whiskers
When Todd's publisher demands that he use social media, his manager, Ginny, couldn't have envisioned this.
Accidental sweater thirst traps aside, it's Walt Whiskers driving Todd's media engagement. It's Walt Whiskers who guest stars at his poetry readings, and it's Walt Whiskers who Ginny hires a social media manager for.
Who knew his anxiety aid could be such a traitor?
Because when Todd meets Neil his life goes to shit.
Working in media had, of course, given Todd the expectation that his cat's manager would be attractive. Todd can work with attractive. He can ignore attractive, usually.
But nothing about Neil is normal. He's tall, extroverted, and a Shakespearean actor to boot.
He's not arrogant, gym-obsessed, or suppressing the temper of a stage mom. Neil is a regular guy so in love with his poorly paid job that he decimates his sleep schedule and runs ragged to pay his rent by managing the city's theatre socials.
So Ginny, like any good friend, ropes Neil in before her boss at Todd’s publishing house even finishes the call.
Unfortunately, Todd is a homebody. He is a poet with a Wikipedia page branding him a 'recluse,' and the thing about influencers is they have to exist outside.
Ginny compromises at first. Every shoot is scheduled in darkened, private spaces.
Todd watches each time as Neil's brows raise in perfect, incredulous arcs. He doesn't comment. Instead, Neil hoists Walt onto one of his ridiculously high hips and takes a walk to 'check the light.'
Todd's lungs expand.
To Neil's credit, he tries. Todd finds indoor photoshoots awkward enough as he poses with his lacklustre smile, torn notebooks, and Walt Whiskers perching irritably on his lap.
The outdoor shoots are worse.
"Poetry is supposed to stir you up!" Neil's voice projects through Central Park as he gesticulates wildly. "You look as stirred up as a cesspool."
"I'm not like you."
"Don't you think you could be? People listen to your words, Todd. Now let them meet you."
"I thought you were here for Walt."
Neil rolls his eyes, "you are Walt, dummy. Come on, let's break for coffee."
So they order drinks and commiserate through quotes, exchanging words from Tennessee Williams and Kafka until Todd is comfortable enough to allude to his own.
And when Todd isn't looking, Neil gets the Instagram reel. It's the perfect shot of Walt Whiskers wearing Neil's glasses as he slowly blinks at Todd quoting from his supposedly 'aesthetic,' ink-stained notebook.
With a trendy sound bite, the post explodes.
Todd's latest book flies off the shelves. So naturally, Ginny hauls them into her office to talk strategy.
Strategy, in Ginny's world, translates to valentine date.
"It's logic," Ginny dismisses. Tinny music pours from the speakers as the Hudson River Company keeps her cell phone on hold. "Your latest collection is called, Tides of Love, Todd. I'd be an idiot not to set up a romantic dinner cruise for PR.”
"I'm not sitting there with my cat." Todd turns and appeals to Neil for help. "Tell her what people will think."
Neil opens his mouth, but Ginny cuts him off.
"No." She shoots a firm look at them both. "I know for a fact that neither of you have valentines plans. Take the cat together and secure us a bestseller."
They take the cat.
Todd spends all night pulling at his tux. Walt has no such reservations with his mini paw-printed bowtie. Instead, the damn cat has every waitress sneaking chicken under the perfectly pressed tablecloth.
If he were a better pet owner, Todd would've noticed. In a better world, Todd would've stuck to the no-chicken diet Walt's vet prescribed. But in this world, his cat's manager is wearing a tux.
Neil could be a Hollywood star sitting there under candlelight. With the wine in his head and the river waves in his stomach, Todd wants to take Tides of Love and write it anew.
But he doesn't.
Todd pokes at his Michelin star meal. It may be pathetic, but valentines are valentines no matter how fake.
He crumples a napkin and drops it over the camera lens.
There are no witnesses when Neil pets Walt, his long, delicate fingers brushing Todd's own. Nobody shares how they linger, how they curve, almost taking Todd's hand to hold.
And when Neil makes a determined and tipsy climb up the deck, Todd doesn't turn, doesn't direct his stare away. He finds himself laughing and scrambling to race against Neil's impossibly long legs. With a fire inside, Todd snatches up the lookout post, throwing drunken taunts out in his wake.
With flushed cheeks and Walt warm in his arms, Todd isn't a tentative poet or a hermit half in early retirement. He's Jack flying high through the clouds. He's bold and he's reckless in his dreams, and in his love for a Shakespearean Rose.
Like every ship, Cupid's Arrow sweeps Todd happily into the deep.
It's only with his hangover the inevitable sinking begins. His iceberg is the size of date night floating up his fyp with over 20,000 hits.
A heart-shaped button has never cut so deep.
But with engagement comes sales and not one, but two, NY Times bestsellers, so the poet and media manager keep taking Walt on contracted dates.
Cafes roll into museums, picnic dates, and late-night Broadway shoots.
Walt poses while Neil charms and draws Todd closer and closer into their extroverted orbit.
By April, Todd's poems hang from the walls backstage at Circle in the Square. He walks between frames correcting and composing while Walt scurries beneath seats, and sniffs for wet food pouches stashed under stacks of Neil's scripts.
It's a routine, Todd tells himself. It's enrichment to exercise Walt. It's his typewriter stored as a video prop amongst the leafy crowns and Yorick skulls at home in Neil's dressing room.
It's this home the poet follows, each purr and smile like catnip until he finds himself curling up during rehearsals behind painted, woodland sets. His poems layer across the orchestra, snatches of Neil's soliloquy, and the beat of paws on wood as Todd opens his words and world to TikTok Live.
With these unique readings come sponsors, and with sponsors come trips.
As spring creeps in, Ginny packs them off on a brand deal supplying a '57 Chevrolet Corvette for the road Coney Island.
They shoot Walt in the driver's seat like a city-dwelling Grace Kelly in sunglasses and a scarf. In a second snap, Neil lounges on the red bonnet in a line of Times Square traffic, and Todd is blurrily backlit by Battery Tunnel in a final car shot, the winning polaroid cover for his upcoming collection, Epigraphs for Nostalgia.
The road to true love has never felt so smooth.
Todd knows it can’t last, but he clings to this day straight from the brand’s vintage guide to teenage dates.
Roll after roll fills with charmingly juvenile snaps.
They wave from Deno’s Wonder Wheel. Product placement smears Coney Cone's ice cream over Walt's nose, while Neil and Todd squabble over film and notebook sheets which fly loose to scatter like snow on the boardwalk.
"I told you," Neil whoops, "those dead drafts want to fly!"
Chastened by staff, but thrilled with the candid, self-timer snaps, the poet and media manager take one more shot.
"Come on," Todd grumbles, wrestling Walt into an admittedly dingy photo booth. "You can't take care of yourself."
Walt meows in protest. But the curtain falls and traps both man and cat as Neil slides onto the bench.
Flash. Walt pressed nose to nose with Todd. Flash. Todd squawks while Neil howls at the ice cream Walt smears on Todd's nose. Flash. Walt leaps and Neil dives into Todd's lap in an effort to catch the escaping cat. Ding!
Pink hearts float in bubble letters like cotton candy across the screen: Kisscam Count.
Descending digits blink in and out.
Three.
The poet freezes. His cat's media manager glances up, his body still sprawled across the poet's lap.
Two.
Neil inhales.
One.
The final lines of Epigraph for Nostalgia linger on the seam of Todd's lips.
“Carpe Diem," he mutters.
There's a flicker.
An image appears of an Instagram crashing kiss.
#this got so out of hand the word count is putting it on ao3#I regret nothing#not even my desperate search for NYC accuracy#or my own decimated sleep schedule#CO Posts#date hc masterlist#dps headcanons#anderperry#dead poets society#dps#dead poets society fanfic#neil perry x todd anderson#todd anderson#neil perry#anderperry fanfic#neil perry fanfiction#todd anderson fanfiction#dps fandom
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Do you have any recommendations for texts for a first reading of category theory? :))
So this is a super common question and I think it's a little hard to give a good answer to! I'll tell you what I did.
Back in the summer of the beautiful year 2019 I had just finished my first year of university mathematics education. I don't remember where I had even heard of the subject, but the first math book I ever self-studied out of was Mac Lane's Categories for the Working Mathematician (the second edition, specifically). It's a good book, I think! But I only really appreciated it on my reread (i.e. my more-than-the-first-three-chapters read) last year. For one, I had not done a lick of topology by this point, and I really do recommend knowing basic topology and basic abstract algebra before getting into categories; it gives you a nice two-pronged approach to view every construction.
So I washed out of that one pretty quickly. I learned the basic definitions of categories, functors, and natural transformations. I could work out what it meant for a product to be the limit of a discrete diagram (super neat when you just learned what a group was five months ago!), but if you asked me to give an example of a pair of adjoint functors that wasn't in the text I would've been stumped (natural transformations between hom-functors? what?).
Over the course of the next semester I got familiar with the basics of topology (and I made this blog!). Now I could see why a lot of Mac Lane's examples were so nice. Compositions of homotopic maps are homotopic, so you can take a quotient category the same way you take a quotient group. The fundamental group is so useful exactly because it is functorial. A map into a product space is continuous precisely when its composition with the projections is continuous. And so on. I sampled some more books. I read the first few chapters of Awodey's Category Theory and of Adámek, Herrlich, and Strecker's Abstract and Concrete Categories. Each offers a slightly different perspective, but every time I would wash out after the first several chapters.
But it was exactly rereading all of these different perspectives that made me grok what it was all about. How to work with these structures. I had limits and colimits pretty much down by this point. Ah, it's not a coincidence that the least upper bound and greatest lower bound are categorical limits, they're expressing the same idea. I realized on my own that not only is the discrete space functor to topological spaces left adjoint to the forgetful functor to sets, the indiscrete (or chaotic, or trivial) space functor is right adjoint. The abelianization of a group or the completion of a metric space are left adjoint to the inclusion functors of abelian groups and complete metric spaces, because a map from a group/metric space into an abelian group/complete metric space determines a unique map (in fact it factors through this map) out of the abelianization/completion. Even though the abelianization makes the group smaller, and the completion makes the space bigger, they're expressing the same relationship.
This went on for a while. I read Bartosz Milewski's blog on Category Theory for Programmers, but I didn't know Haskell so that didn't get me very far. I read a lot of nLab pages (I still do). I read a small bit of Borceux's Handbook of Categorical Algebra, which is very nicely written if you can get your hands on it. I spent a summer in a reading group for Tai-Danae Bradley's Topology: A Categorical Approach (this one's probably a good pick for you in particular!). Like two years ago I played the Natural Number Game (which they changed recently apparently!), which got me really into Lean and proof assistants in general. Playing around with Lean gave me a great appreciation for what category theory brings to the table for logic and computational mathematics. Reading Dan Marsden's blog on monads got me really into monad theory, which is just super cool and I love it very much. I had a brief fling with bicategories, mostly because of the monads. Around this time I made a bunch of explanatory posts on the things I was learning about, and that was just terrifically helpful for my understanding. I read Mac Lane and Eilenberg's original paper introducing categories, General Theory of Natural Equivalences, and it's fascinating to see the perspective that it takes. Last year I got really into sheaf theory by reading Mac Lane and Moerdijk's Sheaves in Geometry and Logic, which finally made me understand the Yoneda Lemma.
These last few examples are what I would call pretty intermediate, as far as categories go. Somehow by reading all these different sources (and progressing in my studies in other mathematical subjects!) I had gathered up enough experience to understand the higher-level structures built on top of the basics. I still don't understand Kan extensions (though I tried reading Riehl's Category Theory in Context to understand it) or fibrations, or model categories, or co/end calculus, but I'm sure I will once the need arises.
So that's my advice! Read as many different introductions to the subject as you can, in as many different contexts as you have the experience for! The power and beauty of category lies in the bridging over the gaps between these contexts. Any of the books I mentioned I would recommend, but really the most important rule of category theory is to have fun and be yourself :-)
#math#adventures in cat theory#this went kinda long huh lol#i really like your posts panda i hope this is helpful <3#i have pdfs of everything i mentioned also so hit me up if you can't find one
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Oh my GOD, the drama that's going on at my work...
So as some of you know, I've been getting bullied by my boss, let's call her Margaret because she's like Margaret Thatcher.
A Grade A bitch.
So Margaret will give me instructions that are wildly unclear, contradictory, or vague.
I'll give you an example.
We have a project that's basically comparing policy guidance from across different federal agencies with our own, so that we can incorporate their best language into our department's policy documents.
I wrote up a word document with policy analyses for all of our chosen examples.
Margaret said, I don't like this. I can't use it. I can't read it. Change it to Microsoft excel and make it like a checklist.
So I'm like alright, makes sense, my bad.
I do that.
She then complains that it's too much like a checklist and what she wanted was a detailed analysis that she could use.
Also that she can't read excel spreadsheets because there are..."too many words."
...
So. Yeah. Too many words, huh?
So I'm like...ok...but I already did that.
And she says, no you didn't, also I asked you to focus on finishing your analyses of all the departments, not to worry about the format. The format doesn't matter.
But here's the thing right.
The FORMAT MATTERS.
SHE LITERALLY TOLD ME TO CHANGE IT BECAUSE OF HOW MUCH THE FORMAT MATTERS.
And she's starting to go off and she's beginning to yell at me here...in front of any entire team of people...and I just had to cut her off, because if I don't, she's just gonna rant at me for an hour and then hang up and neither of us will have what we want, ie, she won't have the product she's imagining (which doesn't exist apparently bc she contradicted her own wishes), and I won't have the guidance I need to make the product.
So I interrupt her and say I already did that. The analysis is done. Now it's just the format that matters.
Now, she's very angry about the interruption, because she CONTINUES to just bulldoze right over me and keep talking...
And my supervisor, let's call her Sarah, then explodes and says, "Let him talk! He's trying to explain to you what he did and you're not letting him defend himself!"
And audience.
Fellow countrymen...
I would kill for Sarah, I really would.
I was so happy to have someone speak up for me.
But anyway.
So we finish the meeting, although it's very icy and very angry.
And then Sarah calls me immediately.
And she says oh my god I'm so sorry about that, what was that BS?
And I'm like...I'm like so happy to have someone on my side that I just say thank you for standing up for me there.
And she goes into this wild ass, amazing rant and she DISHED, BOYS AND GALS AND NONBINARY PALS.
APPARENTLY, Margaret has bullied every single contractor she's EVER had.
The guy she keeps telling me to defer to?
She tried to FIRE HIS ASS like a month ago.
The guy she keeps saying is like a godsend because he's sooo helpful?
She tried to fire him in his first month.
She was also apparently so hated at her last office that she had to leave because she wasn't getting any respect. She's been shunted all over the department because no one can stand working with her.
She has such poor interpersonal skills and fails so hard at communicating that she literally has clashed with every single member of her team.
And she hates me because I'm harder to bully.
Because I know what the fuck I'm talking about and I don't let her beat me down with her backwards ass contradictory logic.
And here's the spicy drama...
Apparently when Sarah interrupted her earlier...she literally texted HER BOSS, let's call her Laura...to complain that Sarah and I are "working together" and "conspiring" against her.
because "Kai was contradicting himself and when I tried to call him out on it, he INTERRUPTED me and then Christine ENCOURAGED him to and I just thought you should know."
And I find that really fucking funny.
Because she complained to her boss...who immediately sent THAT SCREENSHOT TO THE SAME PERSON SHE WAS COMPLAINING ABOUT.
So YEAH Margaret. We ARE conspiring against you.
But you don't have any allies, as evidenced by the fact that complaining to your boss literally made her roll her eyes and say ah Margaret is at it again...to the same person that Margaret is bitching about.
Anyway.
Totally insane.
Sarah told me, you're very professional and reasonable and sweet, and honestly, I feel protective of you because you're the youngest member of the team and I know that working with Margaret might make you feel like you never want to work again...but you're honestly very good at your job and I won't let Margaret fire you...
And I was really floored by the show of loyalty...
I also laughed because she said, I don't mind taking the heat from Margaret. What's she gonna do, fire me? (She doesn't work for Margaret and is sort of lateral to her position anyway).
I'd like to see her try.
And anyway.
Anyway that was the beginning of my crazy day.
Honestly I'm just smiling.
I've never had a supervisor stick up for me as much as Sarah and I'd love to keep working for her...it's just a shame if she can't keep me from being fired by the madwoman that leads our team.
I hope she'll let me know if Margaret decides to fire me because I dared using Microsoft excel in her presence again...
I'm so sorry that when you work for the government, you sometimes have to read things...
So sorry. But what do you want me to do about it?
Why hire a writer if you're scared of reading?
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Frequently Asked Questions
Update: 8/29/2024
I would like to remind everyone that I am just another fan, and this is a fan project. I have no control over character dialogue.
Remember to be kind in my ask box and notes. I cannot explain why some character lines were chosen to be cut from the game, nor is this the place to start character discourse. I am also not a machine - I am a person with feelings and other hobbies. I love to take dialogue requests, but asks that demand certain quests or are rude will be swiftly deleted. Repeat offenders, or especially rude anons, will be blocked.
Please be courteous! This is something I enjoy doing, and I ask that you keep the experience enjoyable for myself and your fellow fans.
What is this project?
DAI Transcripts is my endeavor to document and format all of the dialogue (companion comments, location banter, various remarks, and more!) in Dragon Age: Inquisition. I started this project in 2019 as a spiritual successor to the discontinued @dragonagetranscripts. ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤ
Why are you doing this?
Because god has punished me for my hubris and my work is never done.
jk it’s actually because I was sick of watching bad let’s plays while trying to work on my longfic so I took matters into my own hands. ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤ
How do you know you're using accurate dialogue? Where are you finding the deleted lines?
I type the transcripts by hand side-by-side with the game files, a plot flag editor, numerous youtube playthroughs, and my own game open. I also keep a number of handwritten notes on plot flag strings. I have played DA:I over 30 times, and crowd-source from the communities I'm in.
I do occasionally miss things or can't figure out exactly how a piece of dialogue fits, but I always note this within the transcripts. ㅤㅤ ㅤ
Where did you learn to read the files?
I used to create my own mods for DA:I - There are a tutorials online that cover dialogue file editing you can find on the nexus. ㅤㅤ ㅤ
Can you share the audio files?
Unfortunately, this isn't something I'm willing to take on right now. Each line must be extracted one at a time and renamed as you go, or every line within a dialogue file will try to export with the same name (some files have hundreds of lines). They are not logically named and it is a lot of trial and error. ㅤㅤ ㅤ
Why do you use "PC" instead of "Inquisitor" or "Herald"?
The game files use "Hero," and to save myself the trouble of trying to differentiate between conversations that can happen before or after reaching Skyhold I decided to use the neutral "Player Character," or "PC". ㅤㅤ ㅤ
You typo'd/did a thing wrong/you’re missing race/class specific dialogue!
Please let me know in an ask—I hope to have a very accurate account of all the dialogue, so don’t be afraid to let me know if I’m missing something or have any egregious typos.
Please note: since this project has been ongoing for nearly 5 years, I bridged over the change in text editors. Additionally, I only started referring to the text files around the end of 2022.
Posts made before August 2023 (around the middle of Wicked Eyes and Wicked Hearts) may have formatting errors due to the change from old to new text editor and missing dialogue. ㅤㅤ ㅤ
Will you do -insert quest-?
Short answer: Hopefully, yes!
Long Answer: I intend on working through the game from start to finish, first main quests, then secondary/companion quests, and then romances. DLC, location, and side-quest dialogue are on the list as well.
If you want to see something specific, just drop me an ask! I don't mind it at all, and sometimes it's a refreshing little break. ㅤㅤ ㅤ
Who are you anyway?
I'm @plisuu in disguise :) I am a high school teacher, artist, and writer. You can find me on all social media under the same name, though I'm only really active on tumblr these days. ㅤㅤ ㅤ
Please take my money! How can I support you?
I have a Ko-fi, but honestly, the kind messages and tags I get on my posts are more than enough! The best way to support me is by sharing this resource :)
Feel free to share your fics with me as well, I love seeing how different folks use the dialogue given to us and spin such unique and varied stories.
Remember, my ask box is always open!
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🌟OPEN DISCUSSION about the 2020's era of shipping culture, Sonadow in the Sonic Fandom, and how well-intended activism can circle back to the language and violence of oppressors 🌟 (Broken down into PARTS for the sake of readability and my own attention span lol. >>>FULL ESSAY HERE<<<) (>>>PREVIOUS PART HERE<<<)
PART 6
ADDITIONAL: MY PERSONAL OPINIONS AND LOGIC ABOUT SHADOW'S AGE
Most of the fandom will continue arguing about Shadow's "true age" for the rest of time and how that "should" influence people's shipping headcanons. In my opinion, it is a very unnecessary thing to argue about simply because of the uniqueness and the fantastical nature of Shadow's existence within the Sonic Universe. Very specifically, he is a test tube science project super soldier who is immortal with an unclarified "birth date."
It's most likely that Professor Gerald Robotnik started the process of creating Shadow AFTER Maria was born and they discovered her incurable disease; Project Shadow could have taken a significant amount of time to complete considering all of the scientific processes, research, and intergalactic communication needed. It is also important to remember that Maria died when she was only 12 years old. If we are just talking about the amount of time that Shadow was physically and mentally conscious, communicating, and learning (excluding the 50 years he spent in cryo-stasis), this would mean that Shadow's age could be anything up to Maria's exact age at her time of death. Realistically his youngest possible age would be much greater than 1 day, since it probably took a noteworthy amount of time for Shadow and Maria to develop their trusting best friend and/or sibling bond.
Otherwise, in the less likely scenario, Professor Gerald could've had foresight and somehow gotten confirmation about Maria's condition before she was born with the scientifically and medically advanced technology aboard the Space Colony ARK, and then completed Project Shadow before she was born. But in EITHER possible chronology, Shadow could be around the same age or a handful of years younger than 15 (one of the possible ages in this debate), if we are to consider his game manual or Wiki-page biographies for his true age. This could put the Sonadow ship in the same boat of age-gap and maturity-difference criticism that the Sonic x Amy ship gets because Sonic is 15 and Amy is 12.
Even though Shadow is one of the most complex characters within the broad Sonic Lore, at the same time he's one of the most mysterious characters, especially since we don't have any official content that shows the complete scientific/medical/technological details of his creation process from start to finish. Everyone has a different opinion whether the game manual and Wiki-page age(s) indicates Shadow's number of conscious years lived, his current physical age, or both. People also debate whether his current physical age matters in terms of shipping ethics. Considering that Shadow is an immortal science experiment with the DNA/blood of an alien species and he could have grown up in a test tube, I like to think that any of the "teen" ages used in this debate could simply describe what his physical vessel looks like (compared to 100% Mobian hedgehogs) at the point Project Shadow was deemed successfully completed. It's possible that his early development deviated from that of a human baby, a Mobian hedgehog baby, and a normal hedgehog baby. Maybe he grew generally faster or went through the same developmental stages of his Black Arms alien siblings. Deciphering what it would mean for Shadow to become "fully mature", or even what "age" in general means for him, would require solving the complex puzzle of his circumstances: the science of genetic engineering that splices Black Arms DNA with Mobian hedgehog DNA to design a being that is artificial and specifically exceptional in every way. We DO know that Shadow's Black Arms DNA gives his mind and body a connection to the species' Hive Mind (which is explored in the Archie comic books) and that Black Doom's DNA was one of the necessary ingredients to give Shadow immortality and disease immunity. But that's the extent of what we know about Shadow's Black Arms biology, its overall effects, its benefits, and its downsides. In addition to this, the "immortal artificial super soldier with alien DNA" context brings up questions regarding Shadow's mental processes, intelligence, and learning capabilities. He could have gone through rapid psychological development, or can learn and gain skills at an enhanced rate, have increased intelligence, or have alien mental capacities beyond his connection to the Black Arms' Hive Mind.
The limitless SCOPE of possibilities for Shadow's physical and mental reality is why I completely avoid any attempts at shoving this complex character into the same quantifiable boxes of human OR Mobian OR normal hedgehog maturity, development, intelligence, socialization, emotions, learning, and age. Which is why I do not judge people for their shipping preferences and don't assume the worst of the people that ship him with other characters. An integral part of the tragedy and isolation of Shadow the Hedgehog as a character surrounds him being the Ultimate Lifeform, a being that is so unique, advanced, artificial, medicalized, scientific, revolutionary, mystical and powerful that he cannot relate to most of the other Sonic characters and vice versa. TRYING to force Shadow to be 100% understandable, relatable, and quantifiable both by our real-life human standards and by the standards of the other Sonic characters can diminish his uniqueness and essence, and it hinders the broad Sonic Fandom from creatively exploring the magnitude of possibilities (both shipping and non-shipping) that his mysteriousness inspires.
(Thank you for reading and sticking with my train of thought! :) I expect constructive conversation in the comments if any are made at all, whether it's criticism or agreement.)
#sth#sonic#sonic the hedgehog#shadow the hedgehog#sonic fandom#sonadow#shipping#shipping wars#shipping culture#fandom culture#LGBTQ+#LGBTQ+ community#LGBTQ+ ships#activism#representation#Queer#proshipper#antishipper#debate#open discussion#essay
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Before the Beginning (part 1.1.)
Part 1.2. | Part 1.3. | Part 1.4. | Part 1.5. |
Part 2.1. | Part 2.2. | Part 2.3. | Part 2.4. |
Okay, now that I have finished picking apart the ending of S2 (ok, it's been some time, but it was my last big Tumblr project), it's only logical to turn my attention to the very beginning.
Disclaimer: I am going to work under the assumption the opening scene is real, ie. what we saw is exactly what happened.
I am aware this is a subject of discussion right now. Ever since memory manipulation has become hard canon nothing is certain anymore and the accuracy of every scene, present, or flashback (but especially flashback) is called into question. And not without good reason - there are continuity errors throughout the show that are very likely to be a conscious move on the creators' part. They might be telling us something weird is going on and things aren't necessarily what they seem.
I acknowledge that possibility, and I acknowledge that events from before the Fall are particularly uncertain ones.
But at the same time, I don't think this scene exists to hint at some sort of fabrication. We simply don't have enough points of reference about the time before time for it to work, in my opinion. No, I think this scene exists exactly to give us some points of reference for what happens later. To provide us with important information that will help us put the story proper into some perspective.
What does that scene show us that matters so much for the story?
Quite a few things, but let's start with the most evident, and possibly the most important thing - the opening scene shows us how Crowley looked before the Fall: he had regular brown eyes, he had regular circular irises, and he had no familiar sigil/tattoo on the side of his face.
When people theorize about Crowley's pre-Fall identity, they often search for an angel with some connections to snakes. And why wouldn't they? It's such a fundamental aspect of Crowley as a person, isn't it? It's hard to imagine him without it.
And yet, the angel that would become Crowley had no visible serpentine traits and I believe it is meant to communicate a lack of serpentine nature. The angel that would become Crowley hadn't been a snake. Demon Crowley was, but only since he became a demon.
Let that sink in.
The angel who made the stars, and the demon we know really and truly aren't the same person. The Fall changed his very nature in ways that are hard to comprehend and I believe we've all been underestimating the magnitude and depth of his transformation.
And so has Aziraphale, obviously.
So now, armed with that knowledge, I'd like to look at the instances where Crowley's past angelic identity is brought up. Not the Fall, and not what was happening before the Fall, but specifically the fact that Crowley used to be an angel.
I can recall three (if you think I missed something, let me know):
the Bandstand Breakup (part 1.2.)
Companion to Owls (part 1.3. - the courtyard scene & part 1.4. - the basement scene)
The Final Fifteen
All are very emotional scenes. One might even argue the most emotional scenes in the show so far. In all three forgiveness or redemption is brought up in some way.
I'll start picking them apart in the next post.
See you soon.
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As a uni student, what about how both y/n and tighnari cope with the weeks before finals and finals week? Its actual hell where professors give out hard quizzes pre-exams (in my case) and assignments with unrealistic deadlines :<
college au vi | tighnari x reader
masterlist
you and tighnari are almost out of the woods for this semester. emphasis on almost. your professors aren't going to let you off easily. you and tighnair decide to cope as best you can.
a/n: dedicated to ME because i had: two physics tests, a make-up AP test, the worst calc final in the history of calc finals, a book to finish in ten days, an essay, and a shit ton of extracurriculars in the last two weeks. this drabble is on the shorter side for that reason. for my babes still working their asses off: you got this i believe in you!
one of the greatest features of your shared apartment with tighnari is your giant, weekly whiteboard calendar. it sits above your couch in your living room, noting every little project, assignment, study session, and due date. with two more weeks left to go, the calendar is an absolute mess of green and blue markers.
tighnari places a book over his eyes, groaning and slowly slinking his body down the living room couch. his variously shaded folders were scattered on one half of the coffee table. the other was a smattering of assorted papers, all trying to accomplish one more essay before the end of the semester.
"i swear, steric effect has never and will never relate to the functions of biology or plant sciences. i hate organic chemistry!" he blurted, throwing the book down.
"oy, don't treat your books like that. i know that thing costs at least five million mora," you scold softly. relenting, you sigh. "but you're right. it's unfair that all of our professors decided to dump our work right now. my statistics quiz went awfully because i was studying for my public speaking class. who the hell needs to know all thirteen logical fallacies for a communications class?!"
"here, i've been studying for way too long. i'll go make us a snack, and then we can take a break later, okay?" he pets your head as he heads to the kitchen.
you slump by your laptop, looking over your essay again. you knew that college course loads were going to be difficult, but your english professor assigning an essay yesterday and making it due two days after was absolutely ridiculous. and after this, you still had your history final on thursday, and three more analysis paragraphs for critical argumentation class, and--
you think you are going to die before you make it to the end of the semester.
tighnari comes back as you correct a few more spelling errors and cite a few more sources. he sets down a mug of tea in front of you, alongside some fresh fruit. sighing, he looks at the clock. "we've been doing nothing but study and go to class for the last five days. we should go to bed now."
you yawn at the suggestion, feeling that coffee you took at seven PM wearing off. "no, no, i gotta stay awake. this stupid paper is more important."
"your paper won't be worth anything if you oversleep tomorrow."
you blink once or twice at that remark slowly. if you were a little less sleepy, you would bark out some sarcastic response. instead, you sip the rest of your tea and lean back on the couch. you blink slower, and slower yet.
as your vision goes dark, you can hear tighnari sigh a little. "exhausted, i see. we'll have to incorporate some stress relieving tactics the rest of this week. healthy snacks, a run, peaceful music, and a long overdue nap is imminent," he murmurs, as if diagnosing you. he settles next to you, placing a blanket over both of your shoulders.
as you begin to sleep, he swears that your lips twitch up in a smile as you tilt to press against his chest.
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rattles my metal bucket w like 3 coins inside, pleading eyes… empires tommy thoughts?
Is angst okay? Because I have angsty stuff that'll I'll put under the cut just in case
Cw for ptsd and panic attacks ✨️
So the grimlands many export is gunpowder, right? So they have fireworks and TNT in excess. The only problem with that, is Tommy's trauma surrounding both.
The first time fWhip learns of this is when he's showing Tommy around outside the manor and some fireworks go off in the distance, simple celebratory ones.
Unfortunately "simple celebratory" fireworks aren't a thing from where Tommy comes from, they're a weapon of war exclusively, and his soldier brain kicks in when he hears them.
He's immediately shouting "Get down!" and pulling fWhip with him to the floor, laying on his stomach and covering his ears. Tears are streaming down his face and he's muttering about executions and battles.
fWhip actually has decent knowledge on how to calm someone down from a panic attack, he's just so stunned in the moment one of his guards does it for him. Doing the "5 things you can see, 4 things you can feel, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and one thing you can taste" grounding thing.
After all that, fWhip makes a note to make some noise-cancelling headphones for Tommy.
Tommy gets a very different but similarly stemmed reaction when learning about fWhip making bombs, and overseeing demolition projects in the Grimlands and outside. He knows logically fWhip is just passionate about his work, but every time he sees the man grin maniacally about it, Tommy just sees Wilbur.
Tommy starts getting jumpy and nervous around fWhip again after learning that. Tommy knows he's not anything like Wilbur but he still flinches away from fWhip, "If I can't have L'manberg, then no one can!" echoing in his head.
It's only when fWhip confronts him about it ("confront" is way too harsh a word for how gently he asks Tommy about it) does Tommy crack. Through angry tears he makes fWhip promise he'd never blow up the Grimlands (Tommy doesn't wanna admit he's starting to see Eastvale as his home), that fWhip means it when he says he's just blowing things up to make room for builders and nothing more, nothing terroristic.
fWhip is utterly horrified at the implications and very quickly swears on his life he'd never purposefully "blow up" anyone! Certainly not the Grimlands, certainly not his home.
fWhip starts keeping a list of triggers for Tommy after this, he is very concerned for this kids wellbeing.
In the meantime, he finishes Tommy's new prosthetic arm. Tommy doesn't know how to respond at first when given it, his immediate thought is if this is some sort of trick or way to garner his trust before hurting him (like everyone else), but he ignores that in favour of putting the new arm on, the magic and redstone humming to life.
He cries, happy tears don't worry, but he cries a lot. He was so sure that after Dream broke his old one he'd never have another arm, he'd have to learn to survive on one again! But fWhip put his own valuable time into making one, a real one that functions not a trick, and holds him through the tears.
It's bittersweet in a way, Tommy finally getting the kindness he's so desperately wanted and needed over the years. He's grateful to have it now but where was it when Wilbur died? When Tubbo exiled him? When Dream nearly killed Tubbo over his stupid discs? When Dream permanently killed him in prison?
I just want Tommy to be able to cry for once, cry until he feels better and have someone (Papa fWhip) to be there to comfort him.
Tommy also getting to enjoy a fireworks display without a panic attack because of the previously mentioned noise-cancelling headphones.
I do also have a short thing I wrote where fWhip does calm Tommy down from a panic attack if you want!
#empires smp#dsmp#c!tommy#ctommy#fwhip#dream smp#empires x dsmp#esmp#queued post#papa fwhip au#empires fwhip#dsmp x empires#empiresblr#empires s1#empires!tommy au#esmp season 1#esmp s1#esmp1#empires smp season 1#empires smp season one#empires smp s1#ctommyinnit#c!tommyinnit#c tommyinnit#c tommy#count fwhip#dsmp tommyinnit#tommyinnit dsmp#tommy dsmp#my headcanons
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Had a dream that the new popular book was a 730 page brick where the deuteragonists kept stumbling into time travel situations and slightly changing the trajectory of each other’s lives, only for the eventual zoom out to show that they were the second generation to do this. The eventual reveal was that they were the byproducts of an initial reality warping project to reform society following the ideals of two insufferably solipsistic grad students. And as the grad students wrote and rewrote their plans, the deuteragonists wrote and rewrote their own lives around the shape of that narrative
It was a very dense text about consequences and all of time happening at once and the intertwined nature of things, but most importantly it was a book that I Did Not Finish because i was like. I’m sick of all the architectural asides and dark academia-isms. I’m gonna read a wikipedia page instead. This was made even funnier by the virtue of Dream Logic and my experiencing the book as a kind of interactive movie dream event. I did not actually have to read the abstruse prose of the book.
The parts of the Dream Book that I was most compelled by were all dynamic character and relationship shifts. In one instance, one of the deuteragonists watching impassively as his child self was put in danger because he had bet everything on the fact that his adult self was still there to witness it.
To which the other deuteragonist responded: Hey. What The Fuck is Wrong with You? Sure, you’re still alive but you’re not doing anything to mitigate your own pain. You’d rather stand by and watch yourself get hurt just because you know you won’t die from it???
Part of this was due to the guy being targeted by assassins his entire life so he was just like 'yeah if i get upset about One event where my child self was in danger where does it end. Like, should i be upset about every single time? I wouldn’t have time to do anything else'
Then the other countered with 'okay, sure, but you literally have the ability to Help this time. fine, don't get caught up on all of the ways you've been hurt that you can't change, sure, but at least do yourself the service of preventing harm when you have the opportunity'
#apologies to mutuals who follow me on twitter who are getting crossposting. i need to file this in my tumblr dream journal#adventures in air's subconscious#long post
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I just finished up my 3 days of teacher training today (and there's more work days and meetings next week) but while I'm putting some finishing touches on my classroom, taping up the floors, stapling posters and loading up supply bins, I got an email.
My choir. The chorus that's I've been the proud Principal Alto for going 10 years now... the choir is dissolving. There will be no 51st season. They voted on it yesterday at the board meeting... the member enrollment is down. Ticket sales are low next to all the expenses. It's the standard excuse. I don't see the check books. I can't know.
But to say this was unexpected is an understatement. It's always been a small but passionate organization. It serves the metro-east side of my area, missing out on the competition but also patronage of the greater St. Louis arts scene. We get a lot of older airforce families and young music graduates in the fold. I'm one of the few paid singers, poached for the role while I was still a baby in college, but I take a lot of pride in it. And since I'm one of the younger people they all kinda dote on me. I love these people so much. They are passionate and supportive and appreciative. I love making music with them. They are the kindest people to ever surround me.
The director is someone dear to me. He's taken me in as his protege. He's a model of professionalism and respect. He never let's the many years and familial relationship between us get in the way of holding firm boundaries. He always asks to consent to additional projects and was keen to make sure I understand my professional value. He'd never let me do things for free and made a point to make sure that was clear. He was very firm in fostering loyalty with his principals in the best way possible-- abundant respect and clear communication. I could never leave him for a competing chorus. Even now I moonlight at the church he plays for. He puts me on recording projects for his compositions. I get a bottle of wine from him for Christmas every year. I love that man and all he stands for.
But it seems all that love and loyalty is hemorrhaging out with nowhere to go. I feel so lost. All of those concerts and rehearsals and Gala dinners and beautiful songs and opportunities, just gone and over. I'm at a loss. I seriously thought I would be there forever. This was my singing home. My music family.
I couldn't finish out the 50th season with them because of my voice injury. I was devastated sitting in the audience for both of the spring performances-- wondering when I would sing with them again -- desperate to sing with them again. Yeah I have my church job and I love those people too but this group was the choir I wanted to return to. I wanted to get better to sing for that director again. I imagined my triumphant return and how happy that would make me.
And that's not going to happen again. I feel like a ship that's lost it's mooring. It's a cavity in my heart. Those people I want to see. The music I want to make. God. It's too much.
Of course the logical step is that I look for another chorus. There's a group that would take me, hopefully as a principal but there are a million and one drawbacks not to mention I can't join them midyear when I expect to be in proper singing condition so it's an automatic gap year. I won't be able to enjoy the company of most of those singers since I was technically a transplant outside their area in the first place. I don't really want to think about it. I miss everyone already. I never realized I could miss them forever.
I just feel the need to eulogize something vital to my identity. A group I gave my heart to. I'm so sorry.
#its a long personal post hence the read more#i hate this so much#im waiting for my director message me back so i can have some kind of closure here.#personal
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Lordship at Last; A Scrub's Tale
After 268 hours (I know) and 173 levels (I KNOW), I finally cleared my first Elden Ring run. I... love it. It took me a long time to realize exactly why, but when it hit me it made perfect sense. The whole game is the Water Temple. I don't think I need to explain that to anyone. A simple statement, but the more you think about it, the implications are layered and sublime. I vaguely recall an ancient game mag interview with some dev or another who, when asked what his dream project would be, described a grittier Zelda with more subtle storytelling and more interesting uses in combat for traditional equipment such as the hookshot. I remember loving the concept, and later Breath of the Wild/Tears of the Kingdom. Elden Ring though feels like the logical conclusion to exploring the freedom and flexibility of modern fantasy adventure games, the masterpiece bookend to the world of possibilities that the OG NES Zelda began to reveal to us.
And what a journey its been. My first Souls-like game, starting out as a bandit named Torrent (IMAGINE MY SURPRISE WHEN THE GAME {I THOUGHT} ADDRESSED MY CHARACTER BY NAME IN THE FIRST FIVE MINUTES!!!), not understanding how shields worked, and grossly under leveling vigor (hell finished with only 40 before hearing after the fact that 60 is typically the goal). Dying to the lake side ruins bats again. And again. And again. Standing in the Church of Elleh thinking I was safe, studying the Limgrave Tree Sentinel with my shiny new telescope, only for it to drop the walls on me. Not understanding how elemental damages work till the last 3rd of the game. Breezing through some bosses only to be kneecapped physically and spiritually again and again by a pair of mangy mutts, cocaine bear, biblically accurate angel bubbles, or simply a zombie holding a torch causally away from their body. Spending the first half of the game dying in numbers that would make Rosus himself say 'hey slow down there partner, thanks for putting my kids through Raya Lucaria with all those runes you lost, but I really need a break.' Forgetting I'd picked up the crystal tear for cleansing during the Mohg fight, instead trying everything up to and including Law of Regression to clear the triple ring status effect during the fight.
Ever so slowly, painfully, learning the ins and outs of the game. Slowly morphing from a dex curved sword user with throwing knives and a bow to a mage knight desperately cheesing his way through the last 60 hours of the game. SO. MUCH. BACKTRACKING. I must have revisited Stormveil over the course of 100 hours, finding something new every time. Exploring every nook and cranny in the world, scrapping runes together as hard as I could in the early game, only to be shocked at how easy leveling became in the second half of the game. Hosting tryouts for every Spirit Ashes like I was assembling the outer-gods-damned Avengers to fight Thanos wielding the Elden Gauntlet. ACCIDENTALLY STUMBLING UPON DRAGON ELDEN LORD, WHOOPS SORRY SIR(S?) DIDN'T MEAN TO DISTURB YOUR ETERNAL TIMELESS SLUMBER! In the end, somehow, managing to defeat all demigods and I'd guess 95% of the bosses in the game. I know I missed a few, and there was 3 or 4 I purposefully decided to ignore for my own sanity (if Blaidd had been half red wolf he'd of been the next Elden Lord I swear).
Bosses that gave me the greatest trouble at the time;
Margit (pretty sure we killed each other at the same time, so I never got his runes)
Godrick (I'd like to think it'd be a different story now that I've developed some skill and muscle memory but boy was this a grind)
Dragon Tree Sentinel guarding Lyndell (probably over 50 deaths, just the worst, only read about the additional summons later!)
The Elden Beast (how do pure melee builds beat this guy!? I had trouble keeping up with it using various ranged spells, the opportunities to stab it felt few and far inbetween)
Bosses that I was shocked at how easy they were based on memes/carbot/the community;
Radahn (only demigod I beat my first time, still an awesome battle)
Placidusax (one of the most enjoyable fights in hindsight, really felt like I was hitting my stride with the ebb and flow of battle finally)
Malenia, Blade of Miquella (in fairness was probably grossly over leveled by this point, downed in 3 or 4 attempts)
Radagon (the cheese was real but I was also serving it)
Special shout out to the meteorite staff and rock sling spell, the true MVPs of my run and the breakers of bosses, especially dragons. The carian knight sword and grandeur skill had an incredible run until I was able to nab the Sword of Night and Flame, and eventually the Dark Moon Greatsword itself, fulfilling my transformation into Fierce Deity Tarnished. Loretta's War Sickle was surprisingly fun as well for non boss fights.
As I look ahead to the DLC and meander/experiment through a NG+ or 3 while I wait, I can't help but wonder, probably a true dark horse theory... are we, the Tarnished, in some way, shape, or form... Miquella? Why would Malenia, instead of seeking him out to rescue her beloved brother, wait for him in the one place she knows he isn't... convinced he'd return... when it was I, Tarnished, all along who returned? Silly I know. But Torrent (I hate that I have to specify this, the horse) also reacted to Torrent (the Tarnished) in a way that felt more meaningful the second time around after having experienced most of the story. Why would Melina choose us (assuming we were her only attempt) over all others? Did she even truly know?
Alright that was a lot. I wish I'd kept a running journal of my play through, there was just so much wonder and discovery. I look forward to picking up Bloodborne and Lies of P to continue feeding my new addiction!
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Why do agents like phone calls so much? It seems unique to that profession, I don't see that much phone enthusiasm from other industry people. I feel like from a logical standpoint email is much more efficient if you pitch something or talk about edits or something since you've got an overview and don't have to remember it all?
??? do they ???
I don't think agents particularly "like phone calls" much more than any other group of people does -- some like them, some are indifferent, some loathe them I'm sure. Some editors like them, some are indifferent, some loathe them I'm sure.
(And some editors -- not many, but SOME -- are ghosts on email and the only way of possibly getting hold of them is by phone. The same is also probably true of some agents! Not many, but some!)
Anything important that really you need to remember or reference again in the future will come via email. If anything is discussed in a call that requires further action, it should be memorialized in a follow-up email -- and if anyone ever calls you and says "I'd like to offer BLAH BLAH NUMBERS NUMBERS BLAH" (which happens to me quite often!) -- you just say, "Great, can you send that via email! Thanks!"
Personally, aside from weekly scheduled zoom agency meetings which I am not counting in this assessment -- I spend maybe 15-30 minutes per week on the phone, max. If there is the occasional week where I have an hour long call, there are also many weeks where I have no calls at all. I think the same is probably true of many agents.
On the flip side, I could spend easily five hours a day JUST doing email. Not reading manuscripts or contracts, not looking at royalty statements or editing or answering Tumblr questions -- JUST answering and sending email after email after blessed email. (I usually DON'T do it for five hours at a time, because I also do all those other things, but I COULD, and I still wouldn't be done, because it's never-ending.)
The only (ONLY) time I need to have a call or zoom with an author is before I offer to sign somebody -- "The Call" as writers call it -- so that they can get to know me, I can get to know them, and any questions they might have can be answered, etc.
SOME authors, it might surprise you to know, actually do really prefer to call or zoom to have "what's next" chats, and that's fine, I'm happy to do that if they want to, particularly if we haven't touched base in a while, so they can catch me up on whatever they are doing, and vice versa. It can definitely be helpful if you are workshopping ideas or something, because actually, that is an interactive and iterative process. If you are telling me about what your next project is, and I can ask questions and have a real-time conversation about it, and you are expressing your enthusiasm to me -- that might be more effective than a dry paragraph in an email, yanno? Enthusiasm is contagious! (But again, if anything important happens, or there are action items, that's what a follow-up email is for!)
That being said, not every author wants to do that, and that's absolutely fine, too. Aside from The Call and When A Client Asks For A Call, the only time I would ever want to have a call with an author or an editor is A) if it is something sensitive that I don't feel comfortable writing down for some reason, like, I need your social security number, or I need to tell you about a piece of HOT GOSSIP -- OR B) if it truly would be much faster than an email -- like we are having a back-and-forth conversation that needs to be finished quickly, and just picking up the phone and asking the three questions for ten seconds and getting the answers RIGHT THEN is easier than waiting for each of us to type, etc etc. Like please, let me get back some of my day from the tyranny of my inbox and just ask this in real time, thank you.
Finally: Any phone enthusiasm you think literary agents possess is, I promise, absolutely ECLIPSED by the passion that Hollywood people have for the phone. They LOVE to call anyone and everyone, ALL THE LIVE-LONG DAY, including after hours in NY because they are in LA and forget about the time difference. For something, for nothing, for any reason or no reason at all. IF they email, they tend to be extremely brief to the point of uselessness, because, no doubt, they are emailing from their phones in their cars while stuck in traffic. IT'S A NIGHTMARE, ACTUALLY.
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Hi Loa! I'm at the beginning of beginnings in coding and I really struggle with figuring out the logic for simple problems... But you've come quite far quite quickly and seem to really enjoy programming and computer science - I was wondering how you kept from getting discouraged especially in the early stages 🙂 Also thank you for making and maintaining this blog - you're such an inspiration!
Hiya! 💗Firstly, thanks for your message overall! It's heartwarming to know that my journey is inspiring others 🥰 And welcome to the beautiful world of coding!! ✨
Struggling with the logic of simple problems? Trust me when I say this: we all have been there~! I've lost sleep just understanding a very simple concept throughout my learning how to program. It’s going to take time and practice before you start to feel comfortable. So, don't be too hard on yourself, you'll get there eventually! 🙌🏾
The key to overcoming these struggles, I found, was to develop a kind of ✨problem-solving mindset✨ This means breaking down a problem into smaller, manageable chunks, and tackling those one at a time.
Coding is less about knowing every syntax or library, and more about being able to logically dissect problems and come up with solutions.
Staying Motivated
As for staying motivated, everyone has different methods. What worked for me was setting small, achievable goals along the way.
I celebrate every little progress I make - be it fixing a bug that's been bugging me for hours or successfully implementing a topic in C# I've been learning about to my work project. I also made a 'work project' tracker because being reminded of my past successes inspires me to continue to have more!
Another thing that kept me going was the coding community - here, on Instagram and on Twitter! They are a diverse, generous, and supportive group - everyone wants to help everyone! Participating in coding discord servers and helping people on here with their projects helps me feel connected and inspired 😌👍🏾
I also loved working on projects that I was passionate about. For people who have followed me for a while would know I start new projects nearly every week (doesn't mean I completely finish them tho... oops 😵💫)!
There’s nothing like the thrill of seeing my code come to life and creating something useful or just being a pretty website! Advice for you would be to find what aspects of coding truly excite you and use those to keep yourself going! I made a post where I explained how to make projects you like (link to the post)!
Keep reminding yourself why you started this journey in the first place. That sense of purpose can often re-ignite your passion when times get tough. Remember, every expert was once a beginner 👩🏾🎓 Keep coding, keep learning, and most importantly, keep enjoying the process!
Thanks for the ask! 😌🙌🏾💗
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