#and like i dont even try to explain myself unless i really have to

[gifti3]

today i was losing my mind during work

[ispyspookymansion]

i need to make a zine about navigating the (professional) world as a trasmasc dyke so bad i feel like i could chew all my fingers off

[itsalwaysdark]

tangentially prev i literally used to get stressed out when i was a kid bc like i knew animals had different lifespans than people and id lie awake and id be like . if a deer was born in the wild at the same moment as me itd probably be dead by now . and id get so stressed out abt it

[phagodyke]

see I get its abt repression and letting that bury u alive but theres still time it doesnt have to be like this etc !! and it does that powerfully. but I've just. never been repressed or closeted in that specific kind of sense. dysphoria has never manifested like that for me... I kind of feel like social pressures esp gender related ones didn't exert the same force on me growing up that they did on a lot of ppl I know (and still don't now) bc I never fully understood them or was excluded for various reasons. but man. fucking rough for ppl who did/do still feel that way 💔

[ravegore]

Ok now that my rage is mostly past i am in more lalaland. Glad to put my energy towards being happy and improving my life with my friends that i love and trust

[mrfoox]

Talking with Oliver really is the best tbh

[dolliestfairy]

COD characters headcanons with chubby reader ❀

-

༊ Cw : Fem!reader, Fluff fluff fluff & fluffs, a little spice in könig & horangi, mentions of hurting (not from or for reader), stretch marks mentioned, boobeh & booteh mentioned, a lil tiny bity of breeding kink in horangi's part. Chubby Woc Readers (theres no skintone of reader mentioned. only skin texture & body shape.)

·*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ ·*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ ·*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙

୨୧ Ghost

- Really love the opposite body shape you both had, imagine this; he's big and muscular, whiel you're simply plump nd small .. (unless ur tall, in that case you're plump & tall lol<3)

- and dont get me started cud this man loooovessss cuddling with u like godddd~

- but he wont admit it anyway.

- really love to grab your plump belly harshly and then jst like pulling it & playing it out bcs he thinks its cute lmao

- really loves how warm your body can get. loves to hug you when he's in fever (🥹)

୨୧ Price

- this old fashioned man really looves to see you in different type of clothes.

- if you buy some new piece of clothes u bet ur ass he'll be there seeing you trying your new clothes.

- dont get me wrong here, he just loves seeing you compliment urself in the mirror, cus no woman of his will be uncomfortable with her own body ✨

- really support you no matter what your decision is.

- if you'll ever decide to lose some weight he'll let you although he would be sad because he realize he will lose his favorite pillow. which is your bellies. <3

- also another sucker for cuddles, this man love cuddles like its a piece of china.

୨୧ Konig

- looves how plump u are omg

- if u had stretch marks then prepare for this big ol' guy to play with 'em, he jst cant stand those stretch marks being ignored :( he want them to feel loved too

- would smash everyones nose till its bloody once they talk bad about u. and if needed, he wont be afraid to putting a bullet in their heads, regardless of their genders. (but you wont find out about this though)

- loves seeing you in his clothes omggg, calls you his teddy bear because what else should he called u?? ur jst adorable and that body is basically perfect for cuddles

- also .. a little naughty things abt this guy is since he's so tall he likes to sometimes peek into ur boobeh if u wear anything revealing like a bra or a tank top.

- he just love seeing the shape of ur boobeh, no matter if its smol or no, a boobeh is still a boobeh.

- he actually felt guilty abt this but he cant stand it and sometimes he jst wish he could grab & squeeze them boobeh twins..

୨୧ Horangi

- really liked to tease u omg..

- this man is veeeerryyyyy clingy, and not just in front of you but its in front of everyone... including konig as well.

- for example he would basically nom nom ur plump cheeks in public without hesitation at all, or another thing is that he loves to softly touch ur booteh and also kiss ur cheeks in public as well

- its jst in public, but in private?????? do i even have to explain myself? 😭

- loves to called you "bunny" cus um.. well i mean he thinks that ur body is basically perfect for warm cuddles ( and also breeding, but he would never admit this anyway )

- would 100,001% ruin someones life once they talk shit about you.

- including breaking their ribs.

- loves to see u compliment ur self in the mirror, sometimes he jst watch u from behind while witnessing u having a lil dumb & silly conversation with ur own self in the mirror.

- think its cute & dumb, but would keep his mouth shut rather than saying it.

୨୧ alejandro

- compliments u in spanish omggg

- loves to calls you his wifey even though ur not (well i mean sooner -)

- would absolutely and menancingly roasting someone in their faces after their mouth just say something bad about you.

and if needed, he'll grab their head and bring em to the ground.

- and he wont afraid to do it in public either (this man..)

- also like ghost; he really love cuddles. no seriously, he loves cuddles with u.

- like everytime after he had done something, wether its finishing his missions or something like that he would jst go to ur home and ask for cuddles, and even when it was like holiday or weekend he would still just ask for cuddles..

- after work? cuddles, after dinner? cuddles, after sleep? cuddles, after breakfast? cuddles, after exercising? cuddles, after bath??? cuddles as well. its a cuddles 4 life for this man.

- he loves to spoil u. yes, he loves to buy you anything u want wheter its clothes, accessories, purse or anything u want he'll get it for you. even if the thing u want is from abroad or outside of mexico he'll still get it if u really wish for it. & its all for u his beloved plump cuddle bear♡

·*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ ·*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ ·*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙

[delimeful]

Really? You don’t find passive aggressive comments, such as your tags, do be impolite?

And how, exactly, is an ask button (which YOU enabled) that is commonly known to be used for requesting stories on Tumblr from writing pages impolite? Are you new to writing Tumblr? What do you think a majority of writers on Tumblr use that ask button for?

I’ve been a follower for a while but I’m pretty dissapointed tbh.

Anonymous asked: I noticed a reply from @/gstash So let me address that as well. No, of course I don’t expect everything immediately and for free, and I initially requested this story over a year ago. I also spent over $50 being subscribed to Lime’s Patreon specifically for this story, but I had to stop due to low finances. I was just trying to check on when it may be up soon, but I felt the response was rather rude.

(the added slash is mine, i didn't want to inadvertently @ anyone else in this debacle lol)

this is gonna be my final word on the matter because im sick of getting home from work to asks like these. anything else is gonna be deleted. feel free to go ahead and use your actual blog to reply instead of anon if you still feel that strongly about it.

i dont think my tags weren't passive aggressive they were just plain statements. no, i don't think it's impolite to express a boundary irt people asking me for updates. your indignation about this reflects on you, not me.

to clarify, badgering me for updates (verbatim: "Could you please please please post chapter 7") isn't impolite, just irritating. it was the decision to send another ask chiding me for my response that was impolite. kind of a dick move, as most involved in the tumblr writing community know. i genuinely feel sorry for the writers you follow if you genuinely only see their ask boxes as an opportunity to pester them.

i'm disappointed too, anon. i hoped that maybe keeping calm and sincerely explaining myself would be enough to prompt you to respond with empathy in kind, but instead you doubled down.

it seems like there's been a misunderstanding in regards to my patreon; there is no tier that ensures a specific chapter of a fic is updated within a specific time frame. that would be a commission, which is explicitly listed as a reward for my $30 tier, because those take a lot more time + energy for me.

my $12 patreon tier offers early access to my writing, and the ability to request future chapters be moved up on my to-do list, through polls + priority continuation requests. i can't guarantee any specific chapter update in a month, and i'll explain why.

currently, i have over 50 total WIP fics being worked on. each month, i get around 25 chapter update requests. even assuming that each chapter is 2k, my usual minimum chapter length, i would have to write 50,000 words every single month. if i had the capability for that kind of regular output, i would be churning out books like stephen king instead of constantly struggling for my usual monthly 10-15k like a chump lol.

in essence, don't subscribe to my patreon for a specific story unless you know the next chapter for it is already up there. which it is, because i eventually got to your request. and it'll eventually be up on the blog for free. and during the months you spent subscribed to my patreon, you received at minimum tens of thousands of words of content.

finally, an earnest request: please stop acting like twelve dollars is an exorbitant fee when i'm literally making pennies per word written. like, i could have worked a single 8 hour shift at mcdonalds in texas for minimum wage instead and i would have ended up with $8 more than you paid me for four months of many hours of dedicated work.

(not even a joke: 7.25 x 8 = 58.)

in conclusion, i am a human person with feelings, just like every other writer on this site. please take a moment to remember that when sending asks in the future

[the-s1lly-corner]

Could you do the TADC cast x reader with a really heavy southern accent?

TADC cast x reader w/ a heavy southern accent!

hello i am back from my silly little lunch break i made a sandwich it was very yummy i need to find a new set of music to listen to while typing, as much as i love jack stauber i think im going to go insane if i hear baby hotline one more time... oddly enough not the first time that specific song has driven me nuts from being overplayed anyways idk side note idk what to do with gifs because i keep running out of TADC gifs and i got a reblog months back on a crp post that implies that gif makers get notified when you use their gifs?? is that true?? if so i am so so so sorry to the tadc gif makers TToTT also still gif related but i keep getting. jumpscared by butts n boobs anytime i open the gif thing i cannot keep doing this!!!!

CAINE:

i think he would find it pretty, like, i dont know how to explain it! i think he would possibly mimic some of your speech mannerisms. probably gives you a cowboy hat. i dont know what it is but i think southern accents, at least from what ive seen, is one of the most romanticized of american accents... maybe its the whole rugged cowboy thing thats commonly associated with it. what im trying to say that i think caine would romanticize it the same way, thanks to him not really having the experience of going out and interacting with people from the south

he finds the accent pretty

POMNI:

i dont think she would really notice it unless she is really trying to pay attention to what you say. but maybe thats just self projection because i myself dont really notice other peoples accents unless its very prominent, or they say something that sounds so different to how im used to hearing things. i feel it would be the same with pomni, but i dont think she would treat you any differently! wish i had more ideas but pomni and gangle are particularly hard for me to write for some reason

RAGATHA:

honestly i like to hc that she grew up in a southern small town before getting stuck in the digital world, but of course she wouldnt remember it... perhaps she would feel some sense of familiarity around you anyways, even if she cant pin down why.. i think that would be nice... she likes listening to you talk

JAX:

writing these out of order, but i think jax would be similar to caine in the regard that he would tease some of your speaking mannerisms. "yaint! yall'd've!" stuff like that... which... i can be mad about because im from the south and the two examples are in my vocabulary... hes not really saying anything thats incorrect, at least in my case

probably asks why your digital form isnt a cowboy, shit eating grin on his face

KINGER:

thinks it sounds nice! for once i dont have any ideas for kinger, which sucks because i love kinger TToTT

your words probably rub off on him, i can see him probably picking up on some of your terms n slang

kinger saying yall isnt real he cant hurt you

kinger saying yall:

ZOOBLE:

similar to pomni they dont notice until theyre forced to notice.. no but imagine your accent becomes more pronounced when you get mad, you start saying more stereotypically southern stuff that people associate. probably does a double take if you say a rather insane variant of 'yall' but otherwise doesnt see much point in pointing it out

GANGLE:

absolutely loves hearing you talk, similar to ragatha! while ragatha clings onto your words thanks to unknown familiarity, gangle just thinks your voice sounds like and soothing, comforting! i dont know what it is but hearing someone trying to comfort you with a heavy southern accent as well as using casual terms of endearment (whether you see this as romantic or platonic is up to you!) in this soft tender voice just always hits different for me. maybe i am guilty of also romanticizing southern accents

[thornsawawa]

rain world fanart challenge thing :)

this is actually remade from a year ago!! ill put the old version under read more along with explaining each choice.

i dont even know where i found this template, but atleast it has credit on it so i dont have to go dig that up.

this is actually more 8 small painting studies (the watcher one isnt really a painting) than me wanting to express what my favs are. because alot of these choices i genuinely couldnt choose and just picked one that was ONE of my favourites.

thoughts and old art below

for the favourite campaign, i chose saint because i was genuinely so invested in its story while ALSO loving the gameplay! spearmaster? love the story. campaign is kind of hell though, i wouldnt really replay unless i had to. rivulet? awesome story and campaign, but its short and i didnt really click with it like i did saints. and saint has echoes and undergrowth my favs. its only natural

for the favourite slugcat, i honestly spent like 15 minutes just debating what to put here. because i love monk, but i also love saint! and spearmaster! and hunter! and all the others too! but i put monk in the end because no other slugcat makes me go 'SKSGHSKSJH AWWW MONK MONK MONK MONK' like that

for the hardest campaign, i put hunters because for everything else my strategy is throw myself into the problem until it works. keep trying (and iterating hehe), and any consquences i suffer from it can be remedied with some good ol grinding the gameplay loop (which i find quite fun). for hunter, you cant do that. the times i have the most fun in hunter is actually when im at karma 1 and sleeping and dying and knowing since im already at karma 1 the fights i get into with vultures for fun arent gonna softlock me. i love hunter as a slugcat tho <3

for the lizard i chose white lizard because i think they are cool. blue lizards and yellow lizards are close too

the watcherrrrrrrrrr in celebration of there being just over 100 days till the release of their dlc

the favourite iterator is a similar situation to the favourite slugcat. how do i choose that? i love moon, i love pebbles, i love suns, i love sos, i love nsh, i love them all!!! in the end i chose moon this time for a similar reason to monk, but more 'oh its moon!!! lovely!!! i love her'

the passage i chose is pilgrim because i LOVE echoes. so cool! so very awesome. and the art? amazing. getting the passage? tedious but quite fun!

miros vultures are just cool i giggle whenever i see one im not even mad when they kill me. same with regular miros birds but like miros vultures are so cool they can fly with wings that look like they have knife feathers and shoot explosive lazers out of their eyes now

and undergrowth because.. have you seen undergrowth? its the saints drainage system and while i think drainage system is cool undergrowth is cooler. its so good. i could and have spent hours just messing around in there. the atmosphere, sound, art, colours, and gameplay are all great. and it has one of my favourite echoes!!

thank you for reading all that, if you did xD i am prone to yapping

this was made feburary of this year. i say you can pretty clearly see the improvement :3

[writers-wrongs]

Could you write yandere headcanons for Arkham Riddler x male reader? If you don't do Arkham then BTAS?

sure thing! so far ive only played arkham knight (didnt realize it was the last installment til i was halfway through the plot) so thatll be where im drawing from

yandere!arkham!riddler x male!reader

-now, eddie is 100% bi (fight me), so hes not surprised when hes into a guy

-he is, however, surprised that hes actually romantically interested in someone enough to keep an eye on him as he navigates gotham

-this man... is interesting? and intelligent? that cant be possible, everyone but edward is a dribbling moron!

-but here you are, solving a few of the riddles hes placed around the city. he cant let you take the trophies, theyre for batman, but now hes certainly paying attention

-a few months after he first notices you, youre just go about your day when you notice a neon green question mark down an alley. another one of those trophies! might as well solve the puzzle, even if you dont get to keep it

-you solve the puzzle and go to try and grab the trophy, not expecting anything but a slight shock, but youre instead knocked to the ground from the voltage

-you wake up in default gothamite mode: tied to a chair in the middle of an empty room. of course, it had to happen eventually. soon, the riddler himself comes in to speak with you

-"good, youre awake. if i had to beat myself in chess again, id go completely insane"

-and he... sits down. sets up a chessboard on the table in front of you, and unties your hands. you play, mostly out of fear, and while you dont win, you get pretty close

-he looks shocked and excited, with a dash of smugness

-"i knew you were the one. second smartest man in gotham- right after me, of course"

-he explains to you that hes not going to kill you, just keep you ("i cant let that mind of yours make direct contact with the idiocy of gotham! your IQ will lower just by being around them!") and that he'll keep that mind of yours sharp

-how does he do this? puzzles. lots and lots of puzzles. hes a bit of a sadist, so the puzzles are mandatory if you want things like food. regardless of how you do, he'll keep you alive, but if you want anything more than the necessities, you better get good with puzzles

-he spends lots of time with you. he says its because youre the only interesting person in gotham, but its mostly because hes an incredibly lonely man. its hard being at the top, so he'll cling to anyone who can even get close to what he sees as his level

-he LOVES learning more about you. not that he didnt research you for months, but he could only gather so much information before kidnapping you. every conversation is like an interrogation

-in terms of affection, hes... interesting. if you earn your dinner, hes programming robots to serve as waiters and dusting off his green suit. i wouldnt call him a romantic, per se, but he certainly thinks of himself as such

-dont expect much in terms of physical affection, he takes a while to get to that point. hes the riddler, after all! hes above the need to cuddle! unless... if you need comfort, he supposes he can indulge you

-if you ever try to escape, he'll be furious. how dare you try and leave! how dare you assume hes dumb enough to not have planned for this! until you apologize, youre getting the bare necessities and no attention

-when you inevitably start to reciprocate, hes smug about it, but secretly ecstatic. he knows hes not the most charming guy around, but he managed to win over the second smartest guy in gotham. and isnt that all he really needs for companionship?

[janeya]

JANEYA i need you to drop the names of all the rtc productions you know because I LOVE ALL TESE JANES YOU'VE POSTED SO FAR I NEED TO KNOW THEM ALL

i really wish i could!!! i hateee possibly seeming like a gatekeeper on here 😭 but i explain it in my intro a little bit, though i know not everybody reads those. so heres my explanation as to why i dont always post production names!

first, i am a biggg advocate for the privacy of minors online so i don't ever post the names of productions unless i am SURE of the actor being an adult (since posting the theatre they go to and their face online is lowkey doxxing? ESPECIALLY highschools, i've made it a rule for myself not spread an actor's face attatched to the highschool they attend.) even though everything i post is from public accounts, it still feels weird to me idk. in addition, since i'm a pretty big blog on here, ive had people send me pictures and videos of their productions which they do not want posted! and i really try to be trustworthy and keep my word with that sort of thing. and also, just in regards to your question, i fear that listing every single production i know of would just be kinda pointless cause there are SO many and a good portion of them can be found on the already existing archive. i dont want to be like 'in competition' with it (because i have had people say stuff like that????) im just a guy who really likes costume design and jane's character :]

that being said! if you don't know the name of production i post feel free to ask me in my replies! i get back better at those vs production name asks or reblogs (i dont always respond to the latter 2 since im scared theyll just clog tags and this whole blog). even if its not one of the ones i want to post publicly i will sometimes message individually from my main!

[shalom-iamcominghome]

Now that I've gained a basic knowledge of Judaism and Jewish people I notice stuff non-jewish people don't. My mom still hasn't clocked the mezuzah on our neighbour's lintel and I am fairly confident she never will, as she ignores the very existence of that ritual object. I don't plan on telling her, I dont know if it's misguided or not but divulging someone's Jewish to a non-jew just feels wrong, it's a breach of trust and privacy but moreover it's just potentially putting the person in danger you know?

Additionally, one week ago, I explained to my mom what tzitzits were, cause someone wearing them was driving their scooter so fast the tzitzit were flying and it made me laugh, so I had to explain. She sighed, saying I knew really weird stuff and it seemed like I was being converted to something. A claim of which she ignores the sheer irony and hilariousness of. Because Yeah. Sure. I'm being converted into Judaism. That's something the Jews do, proletizing. Everyone knows how eager Jewish people are of converting people. /j

More seriously, the amount of ignorance for saying that sentence astounds me.

I don't know where I am going with this. I guess I feel weird noticing stuff and not being able to share cause people always have weird reactions to my basic knowledge. I don't even want to imagine what their reactions would be if I told them I was converting (which I'm not I'm just saying an hypothetic scenario).

All of that made me think of actual converts who probably experience a similar liminal space at one point, a space of knowledge and recognition, while still being out of the Jewish tribe. Merely noticing more and more as they walk the path to Mount Sinai.

Oh, absolutely. I absolutely resonate with this, especially because I'm (to non-jews) visibly jewish. I use myself as an example because I don't like assuming things, but...

To non-jews, you're a jew if you've associated with jews. It reminds me of a few weeks back, I attended shul and a xtian lady who also attended asked me how I was jewish (please try not to do this if you've just met someone - it was awkward for me to explain. I'm grateful that the reform shul both welcomes non-jews and that they attend shul, too, it was just awkward). Even pointing out hechshers had somebody saying that I "looked jewish," so it's obvious why I knew what the OU stamp meant. To me, that's 101-level of judaism and it still had somebody like "oh, you're a jew I guess." For better and for worse, non-jews tend to not care about judaism or jewish culture unless they have someone close to them that is jewish/jewish adjacent/whatever it might be.

All of this is to say I empathize with what you're saying, and I've got experiences really similar - which is why I freak out when non-jews actually care. It's like "thank you!". I don't have too many non-jewish followers however, I see every one of you and love you, and hope that we can create a better world together🩵

[theflowergothic]

Heklo its Shrimp anon I know its been awhile and i am SORRY but i am BACK

So Lets talk about isolation, specifically the lack of other influences in Max's life, this is sometthing i realised lately that Max doesnt really have friends, You look at the people he interacts with and its like, his team, the redline people, his family, Kelly's family and other drivers

Now, on their own thats fine, but if you only interact with those people, and from what i can tell, only people like that for AWHILE, Jos seemed to keep him busy, and busy=Isolated from people his age and with people who could and WOULD intervene with the very clear abuse that was going on, it does seem like he missed a lot of school as a kid and Teachers are usually the people who step in in these types of situations (them being the first to notice my self harm and suicidal tendencies)

Anyways, my point sort of is that Max has been surrounded by people who either CANT, or WONT intervene for various reasons I will explain later, and because he's been SO ISOLATED for SO LONG, he wont be the one to break out of it and get any kind of positive influence

Ok let me break down the many people in his life and the various reasons that they wont say anything, let me prefice by saying that there are some people in this who i do not blame for not doing anything and others that i DEFINITELY do,

HIS TEAM: Alright, this one's a biggie, for the people higher up in the team, Christain/Helmut etc, I do think theres a bit of keeping max Obidient, if he is used to this sort of toxic behavior and doesn't get OUT of it, they can keep using this sort of toxic behavior and the cycle repeats,

for people lower in the team, Mechanics etc, i do think its a bit about their job, a lot of h to em probably enjoy or at least appreciate what they do and with how toxic redbull is, they probably dont want to rock the boat and risk their careers, I blame them a bit but not that much

REDLINE PEOPLE: Honestly I dont trust them, yall heard the Abuse jokes they make so Casually and sometimes I wonder if they see Max as a cash cow and a way to get them more money and exposure, NOW i do jot know ANY of the redline lore so if someone could explain that would be very helpful

HIS FAMILY: Not a lot to say on this, Jos is an asshole and an abuser but Max is clearly Very, very codependent on him, which is one of the reasons that i think Sophie and Victoria wont really say anything, Max will go with his dad in the inevitable split and fallout that happens, Also Max most likely won't trust Sophie because, AND IM NOT CALLING HER A BAD PERSON FOR THIS, she did kind of abandon him, obviously she was in an incredibly hard position and noone can know what thats like unless we experience it for ourselfves but I would bet that Max has Abandonment issues from that

KELLYS FAMILY: Not even gonna say anyhting, yall know

And finally, THE OTHER DRIVERS: Ok first of all, most professional sports involve some sort of toxic relationships, hero worship and money and yadda yadda yadda, for some of these people tthis might just seem normal. some of them are obviously not that close to him as to notice anything amiss, Also i do think it has something to do with saving their reputation, say what you will about Kelly but she has her Cult and i think that the drivers who KNOW whats happening are also aware of the fact

Honestly i just feel so bad for Max, i sincerely hope that he gets out of this but as i dive more into it it just kind of seems hopeless, he seems to have resigned himself to it, Sometimes i wonder if he's depressed or something, i know that if i was in a situation like that i would have killed myself

I mean, if he does try i cant say i would be surprised

OK THAT GOT LONNNNGGGGG SOORYYY

love youuu- Shrimp

Welcome back, shrimp anon!

Thanks for this very detailed (and probably spot-on) look at Max and the dynamics of those around him!

Can... can I reference this in the exposé? DM me.

[angycryptid]

this is a little bit of a vent post but also a call for help/resources, so please dont hesitate to respond, esp if you have a cluster A disorder

I think that i might have a cluster A personality disorder, and ive been researching on my own to try and figure out what (some medical websites, reading the dsm requirements, skimming through related tags on tumblr to gain insight on personal experiences, etc.)

I find it really hard to look for resources on specific experiences and how forms of it can present differently, along with information about co-morbidities (I have autism and GAD), especially with the fact that most of the traits (esp in medical works) are more external and dont mention internal experiences. (a lot of the traits ive noticed in myself are very internal [for example when i was in 6th grade i wholeheartedly thought i was going to present rabies symptoms and die due to a cat scratch for roughly 4-6 months and I still would not tell anyone, and as far as i can tell i seemed completely normal from the outside] so I dont even know if I could figure out whether I have one or multiple of these unless I knew about internal experiences and alternate presentations)

I really only started thinking about this bc i had a pretty bad panic attack caused by paranoia a little over 2 months ago, and, combined with reflecting upon other experiences, I realized that the paranoid tendencies/thoughts that i was experiencing were a lot worse than i thought, and i wasn't even sure that it was possible for those to be fully explained by a combo of autism and GAD, so i started looking into PPD and later cluster A disorders as a whole, but I had a hard time finding good resources and it doesn't help that a lot of sources constantly say that people with personality disorders cant actually realize that they may have them.

also side rant, as an aro person, it pisses me off so much that one of the diagnostic criteria for PPD is directly tied to partner infedelity bc like, I genuinely dont know whether or not i would be paranoid about that bc the thought of myself in a romantic relationship makes me generally uncomfy. (if being paranoid that your friends seceretly have a crush on you and are waiting for the right time to tell you bc they think that they'll be the one to change you is hittting the underlying point of the criteria then i got that shit in the bag)

anyhoo, if youve read this far, thank you for listening to me ramble and you deserve your favorite candy bar and a hug/highfive/handshake/frendly wave/whatever other form of affection you're comfy with.

[patb-goose]

So, I really didnt want to have to make a post about this.

I don't enjoy confrontation and like to be nice most the time, especially because I appreciate those who like what I do. BUT some of you have got to chill. Maybe that is too blunt but I feel like I need to be in this case. I am getting too many messages about art and/or if I am "still here". Once, i get. But when i have answered the same thing numerous times (both on this account and my old one which is gone now) I start to become bothered. Bc its the same questions over and over. Ive already explained that im not going to be active other than my fic unless a muse struck. This blog will most likely be an archive for my work. Honestly, i feel like im being hounded and it is making me less keen on doing anything. Yes. I am slow. I have depression more often than not. But I work when I want and on what makes me happy. Im sure it is not your intent to pester but regardless that is how it comes off. I feel like some people try to befriend me just bc you think ill make you content. That is not how it works. I barely have time to make art for myself. I had people asking me even when my hands didnt work, even after I told them about it.

I am just very frustrated about this. I dont like to block but maybe ive just been too nice.