#and like i dont even try to explain myself unless i really have to

[gifti3]

today i was losing my mind during work

[ispyspookymansion]

i need to make a zine about navigating the (professional) world as a trasmasc dyke so bad i feel like i could chew all my fingers off

[nomairuins]

tangentially prev i literally used to get stressed out when i was a kid bc like i knew animals had different lifespans than people and id lie awake and id be like . if a deer was born in the wild at the same moment as me itd probably be dead by now . and id get so stressed out abt it

[phagodyke]

see I get its abt repression and letting that bury u alive but theres still time it doesnt have to be like this etc !! and it does that powerfully. but I've just. never been repressed or closeted in that specific kind of sense. dysphoria has never manifested like that for me... I kind of feel like social pressures esp gender related ones didn't exert the same force on me growing up that they did on a lot of ppl I know (and still don't now) bc I never fully understood them or was excluded for various reasons. but man. fucking rough for ppl who did/do still feel that way 💔

[ravegore]

Ok now that my rage is mostly past i am in more lalaland. Glad to put my energy towards being happy and improving my life with my friends that i love and trust

[mrfoox]

Talking with Oliver really is the best tbh

[dolliestfairy]

COD characters headcanons with chubby reader ❀

-

༊ Cw : Fem!reader, Fluff fluff fluff & fluffs, a little spice in könig & horangi, mentions of hurting (not from or for reader), stretch marks mentioned, boobeh & booteh mentioned, a lil tiny bity of breeding kink in horangi's part. Chubby Woc Readers (theres no skintone of reader mentioned. only skin texture & body shape.)

·*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ ·*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ ·*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙

୨୧ Ghost

- Really love the opposite body shape you both had, imagine this; he's big and muscular, whiel you're simply plump nd small .. (unless ur tall, in that case you're plump & tall lol<3)

- and dont get me started cud this man loooovessss cuddling with u like godddd~

- but he wont admit it anyway.

- really love to grab your plump belly harshly and then jst like pulling it & playing it out bcs he thinks its cute lmao

- really loves how warm your body can get. loves to hug you when he's in fever (🥹)

୨୧ Price

- this old fashioned man really looves to see you in different type of clothes.

- if you buy some new piece of clothes u bet ur ass he'll be there seeing you trying your new clothes.

- dont get me wrong here, he just loves seeing you compliment urself in the mirror, cus no woman of his will be uncomfortable with her own body ✨

- really support you no matter what your decision is.

- if you'll ever decide to lose some weight he'll let you although he would be sad because he realize he will lose his favorite pillow. which is your bellies. <3

- also another sucker for cuddles, this man love cuddles like its a piece of china.

୨୧ Konig

- looves how plump u are omg

- if u had stretch marks then prepare for this big ol' guy to play with 'em, he jst cant stand those stretch marks being ignored :( he want them to feel loved too

- would smash everyones nose till its bloody once they talk bad about u. and if needed, he wont be afraid to putting a bullet in their heads, regardless of their genders. (but you wont find out about this though)

- loves seeing you in his clothes omggg, calls you his teddy bear because what else should he called u?? ur jst adorable and that body is basically perfect for cuddles

- also .. a little naughty things abt this guy is since he's so tall he likes to sometimes peek into ur boobeh if u wear anything revealing like a bra or a tank top.

- he just love seeing the shape of ur boobeh, no matter if its smol or no, a boobeh is still a boobeh.

- he actually felt guilty abt this but he cant stand it and sometimes he jst wish he could grab & squeeze them boobeh twins..

୨୧ Horangi

- really liked to tease u omg..

- this man is veeeerryyyyy clingy, and not just in front of you but its in front of everyone... including konig as well.

- for example he would basically nom nom ur plump cheeks in public without hesitation at all, or another thing is that he loves to softly touch ur booteh and also kiss ur cheeks in public as well

- its jst in public, but in private?????? do i even have to explain myself? 😭

- loves to called you "bunny" cus um.. well i mean he thinks that ur body is basically perfect for warm cuddles ( and also breeding, but he would never admit this anyway )

- would 100,001% ruin someones life once they talk shit about you.

- including breaking their ribs.

- loves to see u compliment ur self in the mirror, sometimes he jst watch u from behind while witnessing u having a lil dumb & silly conversation with ur own self in the mirror.

- think its cute & dumb, but would keep his mouth shut rather than saying it.

୨୧ alejandro

- compliments u in spanish omggg

- loves to calls you his wifey even though ur not (well i mean sooner -)

- would absolutely and menancingly roasting someone in their faces after their mouth just say something bad about you.

and if needed, he'll grab their head and bring em to the ground.

- and he wont afraid to do it in public either (this man..)

- also like ghost; he really love cuddles. no seriously, he loves cuddles with u.

- like everytime after he had done something, wether its finishing his missions or something like that he would jst go to ur home and ask for cuddles, and even when it was like holiday or weekend he would still just ask for cuddles..

- after work? cuddles, after dinner? cuddles, after sleep? cuddles, after breakfast? cuddles, after exercising? cuddles, after bath??? cuddles as well. its a cuddles 4 life for this man.

- he loves to spoil u. yes, he loves to buy you anything u want wheter its clothes, accessories, purse or anything u want he'll get it for you. even if the thing u want is from abroad or outside of mexico he'll still get it if u really wish for it. & its all for u his beloved plump cuddle bear♡

·*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ ·*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ ·*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙

[felinefractious]

i really dont know much about maine coons but they look super cool, what are the "maine coon features" you mention in your post about people thinking their longhairs are maine coons?

The appearance of the Maine Coon is supposed to be a well-balanced. The head and muzzle should be squared with a clear stop. Ear tufts should be distinctly present.

For the sake of showing the Maine Coon is classified as a “semi-longhair,” so they aren’t supposed to be a giant puffball like the Persian or British Longhair.

I’m having a hard time explaining it in a way that I feel makes sense.

The French registry LOOF has some excellent illustrated standards for some of their breeds. Cedarseed has also put together an excellent visual guide to various breeds available for purchase as an e-book or physical copy.

It’s an awesome, huge resource that I can’t recommend enough both for the feline artist - be it big cats, other wild cats or our domestic buddies - or the purebred snob afficiando likes myself.

On the left we have Honey Sushi, a Domestic Longhair available for adoption mis-labeled as a Maine Coon mix and on the right we have Tigerfeet Billie Holiday the Maine Coon.

Honey’s ears are too wide-set and rounded, he lacks the characteristic ear tufts and his muzzle is not well-defined. His whisker pads kind of just blend into the rest of his face as an entire unit compared to Billie distinct muzzle that leaves no question where no question as to where it starts and ends. Billie also has the squared head of the breed while Honey does not.

Tallulah Gin is listed as a Maine Coon x Persian mix, although she is most likely a Domestic Longhair. Her coat is an excellent example of what a Maine Coon’s coat shouldn’t look like - not that anything is wrong with her beautiful fur, it’s just not Maine Coon fur.

Compared to this Maine Coon from The Opal Temple. You can see that the topline is smooth and “short” but the fur gets gradually longer towards the belly and pants where it achieves maximum fluff. Also note that the Maine Coon’s head doesn’t disappear into a Lion King worthy mane, the ruff is more moderate and follows the same pattern as the rest of the coat of being short up top flowing downward into the longer part of the coat.

There are random-bred cats with one or more of these “Maine Coon” features, and there are Maine Coon’s which are more moderate or more extreme and don’t meet the standard to a T.

I can show you pedigree Maine Coon’s with wide forehead, tall ears, insubstantial ear tufts, proportions not well-balanced or however many faults you want to list.

I can also show you random-bred cats with squared heads and muzzles, well-spaced ears, a coat that’s short in the right places and long in the right places and falls just so.

I’ve met cats where I’ve been told they’re a Maine Coon mix and I don’t go “Oh obviously” but “Yeah, I can see that.” This isn’t commonplace, but it’s happened a few times where the cat has been passable as a poorly bred Maine Coon or mix.

But what gets me is so often I see people - online and in person - who say their cat is a Maine Coon or Maine Coon mix, they sweat up down and sideways that it must be true because the cat looks so much like a Maine Coon…

And then the cat is the moggiest moggy to have ever moggied. Not a single Maine Coon feature in sight, unless you include long fur - and some of them don’t even have that! Is the resemblance that they’re both cats? Is that what you’re seeing?

If you’re going to try to sell me on your cat being a Maine Coon or mix at least show me you have a basic understanding of the breed’s conformation and show me what features make you feel that way about your cat that don’t include “big” and “fluffy.”

[delimeful]

Really? You don’t find passive aggressive comments, such as your tags, do be impolite?

And how, exactly, is an ask button (which YOU enabled) that is commonly known to be used for requesting stories on Tumblr from writing pages impolite? Are you new to writing Tumblr? What do you think a majority of writers on Tumblr use that ask button for?

I’ve been a follower for a while but I’m pretty dissapointed tbh.

Anonymous asked: I noticed a reply from @/gstash So let me address that as well. No, of course I don’t expect everything immediately and for free, and I initially requested this story over a year ago. I also spent over $50 being subscribed to Lime’s Patreon specifically for this story, but I had to stop due to low finances. I was just trying to check on when it may be up soon, but I felt the response was rather rude.

(the added slash is mine, i didn't want to inadvertently @ anyone else in this debacle lol)

this is gonna be my final word on the matter because im sick of getting home from work to asks like these. anything else is gonna be deleted. feel free to go ahead and use your actual blog to reply instead of anon if you still feel that strongly about it.

i dont think my tags weren't passive aggressive they were just plain statements. no, i don't think it's impolite to express a boundary irt people asking me for updates. your indignation about this reflects on you, not me.

to clarify, badgering me for updates (verbatim: "Could you please please please post chapter 7") isn't impolite, just irritating. it was the decision to send another ask chiding me for my response that was impolite. kind of a dick move, as most involved in the tumblr writing community know. i genuinely feel sorry for the writers you follow if you genuinely only see their ask boxes as an opportunity to pester them.

i'm disappointed too, anon. i hoped that maybe keeping calm and sincerely explaining myself would be enough to prompt you to respond with empathy in kind, but instead you doubled down.

it seems like there's been a misunderstanding in regards to my patreon; there is no tier that ensures a specific chapter of a fic is updated within a specific time frame. that would be a commission, which is explicitly listed as a reward for my $30 tier, because those take a lot more time + energy for me.

my $12 patreon tier offers early access to my writing, and the ability to request future chapters be moved up on my to-do list, through polls + priority continuation requests. i can't guarantee any specific chapter update in a month, and i'll explain why.

currently, i have over 50 total WIP fics being worked on. each month, i get around 25 chapter update requests. even assuming that each chapter is 2k, my usual minimum chapter length, i would have to write 50,000 words every single month. if i had the capability for that kind of regular output, i would be churning out books like stephen king instead of constantly struggling for my usual monthly 10-15k like a chump lol.

in essence, don't subscribe to my patreon for a specific story unless you know the next chapter for it is already up there. which it is, because i eventually got to your request. and it'll eventually be up on the blog for free. and during the months you spent subscribed to my patreon, you received at minimum tens of thousands of words of content.

finally, an earnest request: please stop acting like twelve dollars is an exorbitant fee when i'm literally making pennies per word written. like, i could have worked a single 8 hour shift at mcdonalds in texas for minimum wage instead and i would have ended up with $8 more than you paid me for four months of many hours of dedicated work.

(not even a joke: 7.25 x 8 = 58.)

in conclusion, i am a human person with feelings, just like every other writer on this site. please take a moment to remember that when sending asks in the future

[the-s1lly-corner]

Could you do the TADC cast x reader with a really heavy southern accent?

TADC cast x reader w/ a heavy southern accent!

hello i am back from my silly little lunch break i made a sandwich it was very yummy i need to find a new set of music to listen to while typing, as much as i love jack stauber i think im going to go insane if i hear baby hotline one more time... oddly enough not the first time that specific song has driven me nuts from being overplayed anyways idk side note idk what to do with gifs because i keep running out of TADC gifs and i got a reblog months back on a crp post that implies that gif makers get notified when you use their gifs?? is that true?? if so i am so so so sorry to the tadc gif makers TToTT also still gif related but i keep getting. jumpscared by butts n boobs anytime i open the gif thing i cannot keep doing this!!!!

CAINE:

i think he would find it pretty, like, i dont know how to explain it! i think he would possibly mimic some of your speech mannerisms. probably gives you a cowboy hat. i dont know what it is but i think southern accents, at least from what ive seen, is one of the most romanticized of american accents... maybe its the whole rugged cowboy thing thats commonly associated with it. what im trying to say that i think caine would romanticize it the same way, thanks to him not really having the experience of going out and interacting with people from the south

he finds the accent pretty

POMNI:

i dont think she would really notice it unless she is really trying to pay attention to what you say. but maybe thats just self projection because i myself dont really notice other peoples accents unless its very prominent, or they say something that sounds so different to how im used to hearing things. i feel it would be the same with pomni, but i dont think she would treat you any differently! wish i had more ideas but pomni and gangle are particularly hard for me to write for some reason

RAGATHA:

honestly i like to hc that she grew up in a southern small town before getting stuck in the digital world, but of course she wouldnt remember it... perhaps she would feel some sense of familiarity around you anyways, even if she cant pin down why.. i think that would be nice... she likes listening to you talk

JAX:

writing these out of order, but i think jax would be similar to caine in the regard that he would tease some of your speaking mannerisms. "yaint! yall'd've!" stuff like that... which... i can be mad about because im from the south and the two examples are in my vocabulary... hes not really saying anything thats incorrect, at least in my case

probably asks why your digital form isnt a cowboy, shit eating grin on his face

KINGER:

thinks it sounds nice! for once i dont have any ideas for kinger, which sucks because i love kinger TToTT

your words probably rub off on him, i can see him probably picking up on some of your terms n slang

kinger saying yall isnt real he cant hurt you

kinger saying yall:

ZOOBLE:

similar to pomni they dont notice until theyre forced to notice.. no but imagine your accent becomes more pronounced when you get mad, you start saying more stereotypically southern stuff that people associate. probably does a double take if you say a rather insane variant of 'yall' but otherwise doesnt see much point in pointing it out

GANGLE:

absolutely loves hearing you talk, similar to ragatha! while ragatha clings onto your words thanks to unknown familiarity, gangle just thinks your voice sounds like and soothing, comforting! i dont know what it is but hearing someone trying to comfort you with a heavy southern accent as well as using casual terms of endearment (whether you see this as romantic or platonic is up to you!) in this soft tender voice just always hits different for me. maybe i am guilty of also romanticizing southern accents

[writers-wrongs]

Could you write yandere headcanons for Arkham Riddler x male reader? If you don't do Arkham then BTAS?

sure thing! so far ive only played arkham knight (didnt realize it was the last installment til i was halfway through the plot) so thatll be where im drawing from

yandere!arkham!riddler x male!reader

-now, eddie is 100% bi (fight me), so hes not surprised when hes into a guy

-he is, however, surprised that hes actually romantically interested in someone enough to keep an eye on him as he navigates gotham

-this man... is interesting? and intelligent? that cant be possible, everyone but edward is a dribbling moron!

-but here you are, solving a few of the riddles hes placed around the city. he cant let you take the trophies, theyre for batman, but now hes certainly paying attention

-a few months after he first notices you, youre just go about your day when you notice a neon green question mark down an alley. another one of those trophies! might as well solve the puzzle, even if you dont get to keep it

-you solve the puzzle and go to try and grab the trophy, not expecting anything but a slight shock, but youre instead knocked to the ground from the voltage

-you wake up in default gothamite mode: tied to a chair in the middle of an empty room. of course, it had to happen eventually. soon, the riddler himself comes in to speak with you

-"good, youre awake. if i had to beat myself in chess again, id go completely insane"

-and he... sits down. sets up a chessboard on the table in front of you, and unties your hands. you play, mostly out of fear, and while you dont win, you get pretty close

-he looks shocked and excited, with a dash of smugness

-"i knew you were the one. second smartest man in gotham- right after me, of course"

-he explains to you that hes not going to kill you, just keep you ("i cant let that mind of yours make direct contact with the idiocy of gotham! your IQ will lower just by being around them!") and that he'll keep that mind of yours sharp

-how does he do this? puzzles. lots and lots of puzzles. hes a bit of a sadist, so the puzzles are mandatory if you want things like food. regardless of how you do, he'll keep you alive, but if you want anything more than the necessities, you better get good with puzzles

-he spends lots of time with you. he says its because youre the only interesting person in gotham, but its mostly because hes an incredibly lonely man. its hard being at the top, so he'll cling to anyone who can even get close to what he sees as his level

-he LOVES learning more about you. not that he didnt research you for months, but he could only gather so much information before kidnapping you. every conversation is like an interrogation

-in terms of affection, hes... interesting. if you earn your dinner, hes programming robots to serve as waiters and dusting off his green suit. i wouldnt call him a romantic, per se, but he certainly thinks of himself as such

-dont expect much in terms of physical affection, he takes a while to get to that point. hes the riddler, after all! hes above the need to cuddle! unless... if you need comfort, he supposes he can indulge you

-if you ever try to escape, he'll be furious. how dare you try and leave! how dare you assume hes dumb enough to not have planned for this! until you apologize, youre getting the bare necessities and no attention

-when you inevitably start to reciprocate, hes smug about it, but secretly ecstatic. he knows hes not the most charming guy around, but he managed to win over the second smartest guy in gotham. and isnt that all he really needs for companionship?

[janeya]

JANEYA i need you to drop the names of all the rtc productions you know because I LOVE ALL TESE JANES YOU'VE POSTED SO FAR I NEED TO KNOW THEM ALL

i really wish i could!!! i hateee possibly seeming like a gatekeeper on here 😭 but i explain it in my intro a little bit, though i know not everybody reads those. so heres my explanation as to why i dont always post production names!

first, i am a biggg advocate for the privacy of minors online so i don't ever post the names of productions unless i am SURE of the actor being an adult (since posting the theatre they go to and their face online is lowkey doxxing? ESPECIALLY highschools, i've made it a rule for myself not spread an actor's face attatched to the highschool they attend.) even though everything i post is from public accounts, it still feels weird to me idk. in addition, since i'm a pretty big blog on here, ive had people send me pictures and videos of their productions which they do not want posted! and i really try to be trustworthy and keep my word with that sort of thing. and also, just in regards to your question, i fear that listing every single production i know of would just be kinda pointless cause there are SO many and a good portion of them can be found on the already existing archive. i dont want to be like 'in competition' with it (because i have had people say stuff like that????) im just a guy who really likes costume design and jane's character :]

that being said! if you don't know the name of production i post feel free to ask me in my replies! i get back better at those vs production name asks or reblogs (i dont always respond to the latter 2 since im scared theyll just clog tags and this whole blog). even if its not one of the ones i want to post publicly i will sometimes message individually from my main!

[shalom-iamcominghome]

Now that I've gained a basic knowledge of Judaism and Jewish people I notice stuff non-jewish people don't. My mom still hasn't clocked the mezuzah on our neighbour's lintel and I am fairly confident she never will, as she ignores the very existence of that ritual object. I don't plan on telling her, I dont know if it's misguided or not but divulging someone's Jewish to a non-jew just feels wrong, it's a breach of trust and privacy but moreover it's just potentially putting the person in danger you know?

Additionally, one week ago, I explained to my mom what tzitzits were, cause someone wearing them was driving their scooter so fast the tzitzit were flying and it made me laugh, so I had to explain. She sighed, saying I knew really weird stuff and it seemed like I was being converted to something. A claim of which she ignores the sheer irony and hilariousness of. Because Yeah. Sure. I'm being converted into Judaism. That's something the Jews do, proletizing. Everyone knows how eager Jewish people are of converting people. /j

More seriously, the amount of ignorance for saying that sentence astounds me.

I don't know where I am going with this. I guess I feel weird noticing stuff and not being able to share cause people always have weird reactions to my basic knowledge. I don't even want to imagine what their reactions would be if I told them I was converting (which I'm not I'm just saying an hypothetic scenario).

All of that made me think of actual converts who probably experience a similar liminal space at one point, a space of knowledge and recognition, while still being out of the Jewish tribe. Merely noticing more and more as they walk the path to Mount Sinai.

Oh, absolutely. I absolutely resonate with this, especially because I'm (to non-jews) visibly jewish. I use myself as an example because I don't like assuming things, but...

To non-jews, you're a jew if you've associated with jews. It reminds me of a few weeks back, I attended shul and a xtian lady who also attended asked me how I was jewish (please try not to do this if you've just met someone - it was awkward for me to explain. I'm grateful that the reform shul both welcomes non-jews and that they attend shul, too, it was just awkward). Even pointing out hechshers had somebody saying that I "looked jewish," so it's obvious why I knew what the OU stamp meant. To me, that's 101-level of judaism and it still had somebody like "oh, you're a jew I guess." For better and for worse, non-jews tend to not care about judaism or jewish culture unless they have someone close to them that is jewish/jewish adjacent/whatever it might be.

All of this is to say I empathize with what you're saying, and I've got experiences really similar - which is why I freak out when non-jews actually care. It's like "thank you!". I don't have too many non-jewish followers however, I see every one of you and love you, and hope that we can create a better world together🩵

[mayhems-cannon]

hey, i know it might not help your fears, and the other asks said some of this, but i just wanted to hop on and ask: does portraying gabriel in the way you do help you? like, does it make you feel happy or comforted in even a little way? because that's what's important. people are always going to pick up different things from media. no matter how "canon accurate" someone tries to be there will always be a twist in it somehow, everyone's perceptions and fulfillment they get from media is different.

yapping ahead so tune out now if you want but:

I don't think it's possible to "portray him wrong" unless you're super strict about canon. even you said it yourself: we don't really know anything overly personal about him.

there's already a piece of media portraying him in the way they want, and it's the game! the fun thing about fanon is it explores different aspects and view and it's new! if people dont like some of the fandom portrayals, they have the option to walk away and just play the game.

i think we all see ourselves in characters we really like. and there is so little representation of people with mental health issues that struggle in the less accepted "cutesy" way in media that sometimes you need to make it yourself. It's treated like this thing to be ashamed of, and that honestly gave me a sour taste when i was reading the original post talking about making him an "overly sensitive crybaby".

characters and people are multifaceted, and they can have a sensitive struggling side and also an angry, protective, fierceness. those things can both exist in the same space, life is not black or white. there shouldnt be shame in trying to show a character in a way that comforts you, makes you feel seen, and not so alone.

people love your art. and it has made ME feel much less alone, undesirable and ashamed in my life of mental health struggles as a trans man, and of my recent bipolar diagnosis.

well, it does help calm my fears a bit, thank you a lot for writing this. i know it's rather silly and extremely childish to fawn and melt myself mentally over how i draw or portray a character, how obsessive and immature it is, but at the same time it's like i owe him so much, it's really odd to try to explain. i am a bit more clearminded now, but i'm still glad you sent this. thank you again so much.

characters and people are multifaceted, of course, but again that raises my fear of flattening him to simply "mentally ill and depressed to the point he cannot function properly alone anymore". admittedly that isn't really... flat saying it like that, but what i mean is simply to say i'd just reduce him to be a piece for suffering, which so far i don't seem to have done seeing people's positive reactions to what i draw of him (something that i'm still not fully used to).

what the original poster might've meant is the way he is written possibly being overly dramatic due to circumstances surrounding the work, stuff like being the usual teenager unable to fully understand emotions and reactions and thus going with extremes as a way to get their message through (i know that because i tried doing it as a 13 year old). but that's only one example, among a sea of possibilities, and even then it doesn't remove that stigma you mentionned, that gave you a sour taste. not everyone is depressed to the point of barely being able to function but at the same time why judge people who do write him with any sort of mental illness? be it as a form or projection or not, be it done "well" or "nor", it's not worth judging it in the end, right? (what does being an "overly sensitive crybaby" mean anyway?)

I write Gabriel like that not only because i want to see myself in him but also partly because, in a way, i do want to "make him my own" while also listening a minimum to the people who enjoy it. i don't know if i'm writing or drawing anything that's all that accurate in the end, but the least i can do as a trans guy who's just projecting is to take note of my surroundings and reactions and while i put them onto Gabriel see if i understand things right, coming from anyone around be it friends, mutuals or anyone. in a way it's serving as a "save state" of the stats and mental state i'm currently in, if that makes sense and isn't too much idiot rpg talk .

i'm gonna try to keep drawing Gabriel the ways that help me before anything though, it's just rather anxiety inducing to see someone you respect agree against something you fear you might be doing do all the time.

again, thank you for telling me this. it's hard to keep on going when you forget what makes you happy but this genuinely helped me quite a bit.

[angycryptid]

this is a little bit of a vent post but also a call for help/resources, so please dont hesitate to respond, esp if you have a cluster A disorder

I think that i might have a cluster A personality disorder, and ive been researching on my own to try and figure out what (some medical websites, reading the dsm requirements, skimming through related tags on tumblr to gain insight on personal experiences, etc.)

I find it really hard to look for resources on specific experiences and how forms of it can present differently, along with information about co-morbidities (I have autism and GAD), especially with the fact that most of the traits (esp in medical works) are more external and dont mention internal experiences. (a lot of the traits ive noticed in myself are very internal [for example when i was in 6th grade i wholeheartedly thought i was going to present rabies symptoms and die due to a cat scratch for roughly 4-6 months and I still would not tell anyone, and as far as i can tell i seemed completely normal from the outside] so I dont even know if I could figure out whether I have one or multiple of these unless I knew about internal experiences and alternate presentations)

I really only started thinking about this bc i had a pretty bad panic attack caused by paranoia a little over 2 months ago, and, combined with reflecting upon other experiences, I realized that the paranoid tendencies/thoughts that i was experiencing were a lot worse than i thought, and i wasn't even sure that it was possible for those to be fully explained by a combo of autism and GAD, so i started looking into PPD and later cluster A disorders as a whole, but I had a hard time finding good resources and it doesn't help that a lot of sources constantly say that people with personality disorders cant actually realize that they may have them.

also side rant, as an aro person, it pisses me off so much that one of the diagnostic criteria for PPD is directly tied to partner infedelity bc like, I genuinely dont know whether or not i would be paranoid about that bc the thought of myself in a romantic relationship makes me generally uncomfy. (if being paranoid that your friends seceretly have a crush on you and are waiting for the right time to tell you bc they think that they'll be the one to change you is hittting the underlying point of the criteria then i got that shit in the bag)

anyhoo, if youve read this far, thank you for listening to me ramble and you deserve your favorite candy bar and a hug/highfive/handshake/frendly wave/whatever other form of affection you're comfy with.

[patb-goose]

So, I really didnt want to have to make a post about this.

I don't enjoy confrontation and like to be nice most the time, especially because I appreciate those who like what I do. BUT some of you have got to chill. Maybe that is too blunt but I feel like I need to be in this case. I am getting too many messages about art and/or if I am "still here". Once, i get. But when i have answered the same thing numerous times (both on this account and my old one which is gone now) I start to become bothered. Bc its the same questions over and over. Ive already explained that im not going to be active other than my fic unless a muse struck. This blog will most likely be an archive for my work. Honestly, i feel like im being hounded and it is making me less keen on doing anything. Yes. I am slow. I have depression more often than not. But I work when I want and on what makes me happy. Im sure it is not your intent to pester but regardless that is how it comes off. I feel like some people try to befriend me just bc you think ill make you content. That is not how it works. I barely have time to make art for myself. I had people asking me even when my hands didnt work, even after I told them about it.

I am just very frustrated about this. I dont like to block but maybe ive just been too nice.