#and like every single demon had a better villain origin story than the big bad in jjk

[grandwretch]

I'm usually all for giving villains really good reasons to be villains and having them believe they're doing whats right, but lately I've noticed that a lot of the time people take that trope and boil it down to "I met like 30 assholes one time and it made me want to genocide 7 billion people" which like a) doesn't seem like good writing to me and b) mostly genocidal maniacs are doing it because they're racist or they want to use racists as pawns for power. the trope of "met a bad person and blamed it on an entire group of people," is honestly lazy imo

[sombredancer]

Let me rumble in your ask box. First of all, your Li Lun series is what made me stop from being a total ZYZ lover and THINK, and OH BOY, how wrong I was in my first assessment of the characters, so THANK YOU.

I now find Li Lun a much more compelling character than ZYZ. ZYZ suffers from both internalized inferiority complex (stemming, probably, from him being the vessel of malicious energy and blaming it on himself being a demon) and superiority complex (humans are better than demons, and everyone who disagrees is a loser). He has a borderline split personality where his inner demon ZHu Yan is in direct conflict with his humanized version, Zhao Yanzhou (the name btw is Baize Goddesses' dead brother's). The whole fallout with Li Lun is not as much because Li Lun murdered a bunch of humans, but because Li Lun represents everything that ZYZ hates about himself (being a demon, being wild, wanting freedom and lack of control, etc) and is trying to suppress.

ZYZ is very hypocritical. He pretends to be broad-minded, poised, and noble but has no problem killing a random human to prove his point or demons (like a little Pagoda demon). He is very condescending to Li Lun even though every single thing Li Lun says ZYZ is (liar, betrayer, etc) is true.

What's even more interesting, instead of trying to sort it out with the friend he had for 30k years, he spends his time trying to prevent Li Lun from establishing a connection with ZYC. Why? Because, as he said once, "I have everything and you have nothing, and you're a loser" - this is his attempt to prove Li Lun and what LL represents is the "losing" side and his own choice of becoming a human is the right one.

Now, back to Li Lun- he is wild, untamed, betrayed multiple times by ZYZ , And yet. Even though he is positioned as a villain, all it takes to bring him back to the good side is a talk with ZYZ/ZYC. Which, BY THE WAY, could've happened much earlier, and could've been handled much better. He constantly talks about wanting to kill ZYZ's friends but in the end only kills one, and only when cornered. He also inadvertently HELPS them to grow and face their worst fears.

Just imagine if ZYZ doesn't let his petty anger win and tells Li Lun that the plan is to put him back into his root and let him re-cultivate? That would prevent Ying Lei from getting killed, pull LL firmly on the good side, and potentially prevent Bai Ju from getting killed too (because now they would have 3 demons and a mountain god fighting the big bad).

Also, in the whole story, it is Li Lun who drives the changes and makes Zhuo Yichen evolve. (This is by the way why I prefer LLxZYC to LLxZYZ or ZYZxZYC). It is violent, it is painful, but in the end, it is LL who pushes ZYC out of his comfort zone, makes him confront his fear, and lose control only to regain control and autonomy, and "beat" the destiny later. And, in return, it is ZYC who, through being human and compassionate, pulls LL from the brink and shows him there's another way to deal with his emotions. They save each other, even though neither originally plans to do so.

I think, the redemption arc for LL is so convoluted because by that time he let go of ZYZ and shifted his focus on ZYC. ZYC is the character who showed him compassion and understanding. I Know ZYC said he doesn't understand LL in that alley talk- but I think he did. He was also the one who cleaned up ZYZ's mess and sorted it out with LL and the root.

I think, in the end, the two characters who experience growth and profound change are Li Lun and ZYC, and NOT ZYZ. He remains frozen/stagnant in his self-hate even though he stops being suicidal at some point. His inner conflict between the demon Zhu Yan and the humanized demon ZYZ is not resolved even in the very end.

This is also the reason why we are not allowed to see the natural progression of a situationship between ZYC and LL- because if it were given more time, we would see them drawn to each other, and ZYC realizing LL was right about ZYZ. And, of course, from the storytelling perspective, you can't let the beast steal the love of the prince away from the princess he is supposed to save.

It would also put into question the whole "destined soulmates for the win" narrative. No matter how much the show tells me that the destined ones are the true love, it shows quite the opposite- the original Baize goddess and her demon, Zhu Yan and Li Lun, ZYZ and Wen Xiao- they all were, to some extent, destined- and they all ended up in a tragedy. And they want me to believe ZYZxZYC will be any different? Even though their ending is somewhat optimistic, ZYZ did not overcome his internal strife, which would put him on a collision course with ZYC just like it put him against Li Lun decades earlier. ZYC and Li Lun are similar in that they accept themselves for what they are - and this is something ZYZ is innately against. This isn't bound to end well.

I honestly wish the show handled Li Lun's story much better. We had so many wasted opportunities- from the hilarity of the chaos LL, ZYC, and Ying Lei would've caused (just remember the episode where LL goes on a bro trip to the brothel in Bai Ju's body), to ZYZ maybe getting off his high horse and admitting his mistakes - and growing through it, to Wen Xiao realizing that just because she has hots for ZYZ doesn't mean ZYZ is blameless and always in the right, to ZYC developing even further with the push from Li Lun, to Li Lun himself dropping his disdain for humans and realizing there are bad ones on both sides. Then, maybe, his sacrifice would've been much more meaningful. Or, maybe, it wouldn't have been needed at all.

But, alas, we got what we got, and now we are reduced to writing fix-it fics )))

Welcome to the Li Lun club! After my metas, I can't ship LLxZYZ anymore, too... While I discussed the plot with my friend, we agreed that ZYZ has inner homodemonphobia, that's why he hates LL so much for no reason. As for "ZYC pushes LL towards redemption because he shows him some other way" - it doesn't work. Humiliation is not the way of showing understanding or another way out. But I agree there was a lot more potential of developing good relationship than between LL and ZYZ. And I disagree there ultimately was a single character who gets character development. ZYC began loving ZYZ almost immediately, I didn't see him overcoming his painful past (but he was the closest to the character development). LL stayed the same - he wanted ZYZ and did everything to have ZYZ by his side, his mindset stayed the same. ZYZ was stagnant, indeed. LL and Ying Lei exist in this show just to be humiliated, maybe it somehow should make us see ZYZ and ZYC in a good light, but for me it doesn't work, because I'm not interested in ZYZ's and ZYC' characters and feel narrative injustice towards LL and YL sharply.

[fostersffff]

Finished Season 4 of Castlevania: the Netflix, and thus the whole series! And I’ve got a lot to say!

Here’s the biggest observation for this season: I get the impression that they didn’t originally plan for this to be the final season. It feels like, at the start of Season 3 they believed they were going to have two more seasons, and then maybe by the time they started wrapping that up they were told they’ve been cut down to just one more, so they had to speed of the pace of Season 4 dramatically to make sure they could still hit the ending. I have no actual evidence to support this- I haven’t read any interviews or official comments to that effect- just a gut feeling based on aspects of the plot:

Biggest support of this is how quickly Saint Germaine is just like “ok I’m evil now”. He immediately submits to the random woman who tells him he’s gotta be evil to find his lady love, there’s one scene of him murdering a guy, and then he’s all-in on being a villain, complete with “I AM A GOD WHO FUCKS” monologuing.

In addition to Saint Germaine’s heel turn feeling half-baked, the Dracula’s resurrection plot in general really doesn’t feel all that important until the finale. Varney is a comic relief character, which in hindsight was completely intentional, but Ratko and Draken are just huge fighter dudes who weren’t involved with Dracula’s court during Season 2, but are very into bringing him back for reasons that are never clearly explained besides the assumed “it’s Dracula so we gotta”. Additionally, the way major characters like Hector and especially Isaac treat the resurrection plot don’t help, although it makes perfect sense that they both do what they do.

The things that happen in Targoviste, and the way they happen, also contribute, especially because there’s no satisfactory resolution to it. Trevor and Sypha start to help the people organize and rebuild, and then get whisked away to the Underground Court. They barely have time to react to the fucked up shit going on down there before they teleport to the castle to kick off the finale. More time to let hostilities between them and Zamfir bubble up before the reveal of the Underground Court, along with a more satisfying build-up to Trevor collecting the components of the Super Holy Dagger would have been good.

Season 3 ends with Alucard in Hector in very bad places: Alucard has just been betrayed by the twins vampire hunters, which has brought out a misanthropic streak, including him leaving them on pikes, and Hector has once again been duped into an even deeper submission than he was in as Carmilla’s prisoner at the end of Season 2. Trevor and Sypha’s vignettes establish that roughly a month and a half have passed, which was apparently enough time for Alucard to basically get over his trust issues, enough to help the villagers, and Hector to not only cope with the reality of his situation but also finally develop into a character on par with every other major character in terms of competence.

Carmilla and Isaac’s stories didn’t feel rushed like everything else I’ve mentioned, but following the train of thought that there was originally going to be more episodes, both of them could’ve stood to have more time and events to get to their final forms.

So, Death: I don’t know how I feel about Death as portrayed in this series. On the one hand, this interpretation technically not being Dracula’s right hand as he is in the games, and instead being an independent actor that stands to benefit from Dracula’s rampage and thus serves the same capacity as a right hand, is incredible. On the other, the fact that Death’s true personality is actually just Varney fucking blows. The design for Death is also not my favorite, because it reminds me just a bit too much of Castlevania Judgment, but Malcolm McDowell being the voice actor is really cool. In conclusion, Death is a land of contrasts.

On that note, “no it’s not Death Death, it’s an entity that calls itself Death that feeds on death and is an elemental spirit- or force of nature in other words- but is distinctly different from the personification of the concept of-” just fucking say “yeah for all intents and purposes it’s the Grim Reaper”. Coming up with a semantics explanation for why vampires get fucked up by crosses to explain the cross subweapon is fun, don’t undercut your final antagonist by trying to rationalize it into something less fantastical.

I already said that I liked the motivation behind Death, but also the execution of “I’m going to bring back Dracula wrong on purpose” and the way he accomplishes that is the best it’s ever been.

I thought Varney hopping over the stream of holy water was a fun cap on the argument about whether or not vampires can cross over running water from Season 2, but was in fact clever foreshadowing, since Death isn’t a vampire. Good stuff!

I think it’s just because I’ve been focusing a lot on animation quality over the last few months, but I noticed they started using 3D models a lot more this season. I imagine it was a matter of practicality considering that there are more action setpieces in this season than the other three combined. I think this is ultimately a good thing, because they do a very good job of masking the fact that they’re using 3D most of the time because it still looks very good, unlike some of Netflix’s other 3D action projects, and if it makes life easier for the animators without sacrificing quality then that’s a win for everyone.

Didn’t think much of it at first, but I’ve really come to appreciate the term “night creatures” as a catch-all for monsters in this series. It’s generic enough to encompass everything regardless of design difference, but more unique than just ‘monsters’ or ‘demons’.

I had heard someone make a joke about a character wearing Artorias Dark Souls’s armor for a scene because fuck you, but holy shit, Striga really does just wear Artorias Dark Souls’s armor for a scene because fuck you.

When Saint Germaine first shows up, his lines sound really low quality compared to Alucard and Greta, and then that issue goes away after that episode. I imagine that it was pandemic related, but clearly Bill Nighy was either able to get into a studio or eventually got a better home setup- couldn’t you just have him re-record those lines?

I’ve talked so much about how Carmilla’s design in this series is The Best™ because they masterfully adapted a single sprite with no animation from a 1987 video game into a fully realized design, and this frame in particular struck me as perfect. This is the best this character has ever looked and likely will ever look.

I love how optimistic and positive the tone of everyone’s ending is. Ranging from the unexpectedly beautiful and uplifting resolution to Isaac’s story, to the foundation of a town that fundamentally accomplishes what Lisa hoped for at the very beginning of the series, it’s all nice way to go out. Even Lenore choosing to commit suicide, while not necessarily optimistic or positive, is at least on her own terms.

Dracula and Lisa also having a happy ending is nice. It doesn’t really make any sense, and it makes me wonder what Richter’s call to action is going to be in the next series, but I think they were right to have the series end with the same two characters it opened with.

AYY SOMEONE THREW A WINE GLASS!!!

Unfortunately, I’d say Season 4 is the weakest of the series, but they did everything they could to make sure they provided an explosive finale and a solid ending. This was a damn good show and without a doubt the best thing to be associated with Castlevania in over a decade. Not that it had much competition there, but still!

As a final note on the nature of Castlevania as an adaptation: I can certainly understand why certain people don’t like this series. If you’re looking for Castlevania: The Video Game: The Animated Series, you’d walk away disappointed because of how many things were changed in adaptation, how much they were changed, and that so much is just made up from whole cloth. But an animated series isn’t a video game, and while an eight episode series where each episode is a different stage of non-stop fight scenes, complete with a big boss fight at the end sounds like it could be cool, if that’s what I really want I’d probably be better served just playing a game.

[c-is-for-circinate]

Okay, so I’ve got way more reactions to P5 Strikers for a longer post later, but I want to keep playing, so I’m recording some thoughts and predictions after the first boss (and all the cutscenes thereafter) before they get derailed or confirmed by later events.

This is going to be a story about cycles of violence, I suspect.  On the whole, I really liked how the game handled that with Alice: what happened to her was terrible and traumatic, and in no way excuses what she did in return.  And Ann was still desperate to save her.  I’m hoping we see more of that: understanding and also condemning, all folded in together.

Oh!!!  And as I’m writing this, I’m thinking about how that ties in thematically with what I suspect may be the deal with jails and monarchs.  See, palaces, we know from Yaldabaoth, were jails in their own sense--prisoners kept in isolation from the general population of Mementos and the Prison of Regression, shunted over into their own private little pocket dimensions where they could rule whatever they wanted.  (And I have some more complex thoughts thoughts about the specific ways that system enables further violence by rewarding bad behavior, in terms of Yaldie’s motives and also reflections of the real world, but that’s another post for another day.)  This, on the other hand, feels far more like the entire jail system is just big sprawling pocket remnants of that universal prison complex with all the wardens gone.  Now individual shadows have clawed their way up to becoming monarchs over their own pockets, but being queen of your own jail still makes you in jail.  The monarchs of these places, I suspect, will all be prisoners of their own pasts and the violence that taught them to turn to violence, which is a thematically cool way to do this and I like it.

Actually, framing it that way is making the whole concept of a cycle-of-violence P5 game grow on me.  One of the things I honestly liked about the original P5 was that, with one notable exception, we never once gave a shit about the tragic backstories of the villains we took down.  Sure, we’d learn a bit about them when we stole the Treasures, sometimes, but it didn’t really matter--because the important thing about each antagonist was the harm they are doing now, not forgiving them because of the harm done to them in the past.  So I had a little bit of concern that this seeming reversal of that trend might veer off into too much sympathy for the aggressors, bur I’m thinking (I’m hoping) that what we’re actually getting is a look at how systematic violence can turn victims into further oppressors.  And given that P5 was always a game about systematic violence, this ends up feeling like a natural progression rather than undercutting the original concept.  Heck yes.

Speaking of systems of violence: yep, I am using social justice lingo when talking about this game, and no I do not think I am projecting or reading too far into it, because damn is P5S not remotely fucking around with how it feels about cops.  Like, Zenkichi Hasegawa aside (and oh boy do I have thoughts on him), dear god do I love Haru sweet smile ‘Sorry, we just despise the police, is all!’ Okumura.  Meanwhile, our hordes of faceless trash mob enemies are literally vaguely police-shaped Shadows in riot gear.  We spent a major battle blowing up cop cars. Like.  Persona 5 said prison abolition, to the tune of spending our entire game trying to break out of our metaphorical Velvet Room prison and boss-battling our final endgame through the cognitive prison of all society.  P5 Strikers apparently said, ‘you know, we were too subtle last time, and also Fuck The Police.’

Okay and actually let’s talk about ol’ Zenkichi there (hell yes, team, you go right ahead calling this adult authority figure by his given name with no honorifics even in the original Japanese, I support you).  My hope at this point is that we get his development as a parallel to the same things we’re seeing in these jail monarchs: as part of a cycle of violence.  He’s clearly got some backstory if we’re meant to care about him this much, and it led him to this place of becoming a cop out of a desire to help or to hurt or whatever, but the road he followed brought him to this role of an authority figure with no issue manipulating, using, threatening, and borderline abusing his power over teenagers.  (I say ‘borderline’ because he hasn’t moved beyond threats yet, but it’s pretty clear he wouldn’t mind doing so if necessary--we saw him beat up a drunk, so yep.) Which, can we talk about the parallels between that scene and Akira’s original confrontation with Shido?  Drunk man harassing a woman, drunk man ends up on the ground.  Except: Akira was alone on a dark street with only the three of them there, and Hasegawa’s surrounded by people who could intervene, help, or even side against him in court if anyone cared what they had to say.  Except the drunk office-worker is clearly unimportant and unthreatening, while Shido was forceful in pride and anger even while drunk.  Except Shido’s victim was terrified, while Ann is mostly just disgusted, surrounded by friends, in very little actual danger. And Akira never touched him, never pushed him, just took one step up to try and help.  Zenkichi Hasegawa provoked a mostly-harmless drunk into attacking him for the excuse to punch him unconscious on purpose. Akira’s Shido flashback was framed in every way to show us the ways our protagonist was powerless.  Zenkichi’s scene parallels it to show us a dozen different ways this man is powerful and unafraid to use it--not just against those he deems unworthy, but also, if he so chooses, over those he saves. I am really enjoying this guy as a character.  Every single time the PTs have no use for his shit, I cheer.  Him being unbalanced by the metaverse is glorious, and please let Morgana continue to freak him out by existing and Haru continue to freak him out with sweet, pleasant smiles while talking about how she’s very sorry, it’s simply that all cops are bastards, for the rest of the game. (Additional note: @errant-light and I have been watching and talking about a whole bunch of Fullmetal Alchemist lately, and apparently Hasegawa’s Japanese VA is also Roy Mustang.  Which has just been a delightful detail re: this guy’s manipulative bastardry, because in some ways I am pretty sure the mass-murdering war criminal version of this character is the better person.)

Alice as a really obvious parallel to Kamoshida is interesting, I think.  Even to the point of being a king and queen ruling a castle--and don’t think I didn’t see that “Birdcage of Lust” label!  I don’t love having a pretty young social media influencer as our sin of lust (but even that’s complicated, because Alice was pretty clearly caged and abused for daring to feel lust in the first place, NOT for preying on people, except that then she did get predatory and it’s all a little thorny and not especially kink-positive).  I do have a lot of feelings about Shujin as this place where Kamoshida abused and preyed on people with total abandon, while Alice was demonized for daring to even look at boys in the wrong way.  I really wonder if they ever met.  It’s a cool counterpoint, and a really cool counterpoint to Ann, who was likewise a victim of that school and refused to let it turn her into an abuser herself.  (I have a LOT of feelings about Ann right now.) I’m really hoping future jail monarchs continue to mirror palace rulers in interesting ways.  In theory, next up is vanity, and gosh knows there’s plenty to fuck around with in playing against Yusuke’s lonely artistic yearning to be understood.  I’m very excited.

Apparently, the internet says this game takes 35 hours to play.  Me and my 21-hour playtime so far have some Opinions About That.

[lanonima]

First review of the new year! I also decided that once I hit twenty, I'll start a new graph because this one is getting pretty crowded. There's plenty of open space, but I'm not likely to read stuff in that open space so…

Anyway, my review of Copper Coins:

Romantic - Fucky is not how risque a work is but rather my opinion of the attitude/quality of the main relationship, the way the characters interact with respect to one another. I like a lot of stuff in fiction but if you’re easily made uncomfortable, stay towards the top half.

Easy reading - Plot-heavy is how I personally consider the plot’s intricacy and successful implementation, regardless of the author’s intention.

Copper Coins

Author: Mu Su Li

Quality: 5

Enjoyment: 4

Comments: Oof. I hate, absolutely hate, saying the phrase "show don't tell" about novels because it has to do with screenwriting and doesn't really apply to novels all that much but damn. This book was so surface level. I did not feel a single emotion the entire time. It actually reminded me a little bit of Nan Chan, and retroactively made me like that book better because I would definitely rather reread that than this. Not saying it's a bad book, I'm sure it's fine, and if you liked Nan Chan and want a relationship with a similar dynamic and are less of a bitch than I am, you will probably like this one too. It just doesn't have enough emotional depth to be entertaining to me.

Would I read it again: No, and I won't read anything else by this author either.

The reviews of things I previously read are below the cut.

Mo Dao Zu Shi

Author: MXTX

Quality: 9.5

Enjoyment: 10

Comments: I have a huge emotional connection to this novel. There are some weak parts, the tension isn’t quite even, she’s pretty terrible at erotic scenes and not great at fight scenes…but that being said, I love the characters and some of the plot points really ripped my heart out. This is a novel that’s really driven by the characters so if you’re a character-focused person like me, definitely look into it (as if we all don’t already know it lmao). I really, really love this story. Every single adaptation of it has also been great, but the novel is still my favorite. It was my introduction to xianxia novels too, so you can say it changed my life!

Would I read it again: I’ve already read it twice, and consumed every adaptation (sometimes also multiple times)

Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System

Author: MXTX

Quality: 6

Enjoyment: 5

Comments: I’m not much of one for comedy and, as I discovered, not really into system novels either. Clearly weaker than MXTX’s later work, many of the characters are somewhat bland, she hasn’t quite found her groove yet. It’s not my style but the fandom is hilarious and the fans constantly produce content that I actually do find entertaining so overall I still have some fond feelings for this one, even if not for the source material.

Would I read it again: I found a different translation and am willing to try again in the future, I’m also willing to watch the donghua. But I can’t guarantee I’ll like it any more than previously.

Tian Guan Ci Fu

Author: MXTX

Quality: 10

Enjoyment: 10

Comments: I love this book…but not as much as I love Mo Dao Zu Shi. I think the plot is somewhat typical, however the characters are great once again (though maybe slightly less deep than MDZS), and her use of thematic repetition and foreshadowing are killer. Actually, I liked this book more the second time around because it just hits differently. Definitely the best of MXTX’s couples, they are so soft and sweet. Very long, but worth it.

Would I read it again: I already have, was personally translating the manhua before I hurt my arms, and am eagerly awaiting the donghua this fall!

The Villain’s White Lotus Halo

Author: A Big Roll of Toilet Paper

Quality: 10

Enjoyment: 10

Comments: Fuck, I love this one so much…..even though it’s also a system novel. But that part is in it so rarely that it reads more like pure fantasy. I love the characters, I love the plot, I love the way the relationship is developing. Oh yeah, the translation isn’t even complete but I already purchased not only the original from JJWXC but also the print edition. I’ve even drawn fanart for it, which is so unlike me. Every time a chapter comes out, I’m ruined for the rest of the day, I can’t think about anything else. Good fight scenes, which is uncommon. My favorite danmei novel so far.

Would I read it again: I fully intend to once the translation is complete, and also plan to read it in Chinese later (I’ve already read certain parts in Chinese hahaha but not the whole thing)

2Ha (Husky and his White Cat Shizun)

Author: Meatbun Doesn’t Eat Meat

Quality: 8

Enjoyment: 10

Comments: 2Ha is not for the faint of heart, it’s very horny, and violent, and has a lot of questionable content. However I love it so much. The story and characters are great, Meatbun really has me by the heart. The writing is a little more on the casual side but it hardly matters because the story is so great. Good fight scenes. Chu Wanning is like, the ultimate Me™ character, I hate how much I adore him. If you read this, just go into it knowing that it’s a long emotional journey, the characters are very dynamic and there’s a lot of character development.

Would I read it again: Same as the above, I plan a reread when the translation is done and have read parts in Chinese and might read the whole thing again later. Cautiously eager about the up-coming live action and donghua.

Di Wang Gong Lue

Author: Yu Xiao Lanshan

Quality: 2

Enjoyment: 9

Comments: This is one of the most terribly written things I’ve ever read, but I’m a character girl and the characters and ways they interact fucking kill me. I’m constantly entertained….although I don’t think this is actually supposed to be a comedy. If I were going to treat myself and like, take a bubble bath and read something that made me laugh, this is exactly the sort of trashy romance I would want to read. Technically a political intrigue story but it’s so abrupt and full of holes, are any of us reading it for the actual plot? The donghua is on Youtube, I watched it first and recommend others to do the same. If you can handle that, you can handle the book because it’s exactly the same in quality, just gayer. I do love the main couple a lot, the set-up surrounding the relationship is great, and the side characters are also really fun.

Would I read it again: Probably not, but I’m still having fun with it. I watched the donghua and read a bit of the manhua as well, which has very cute art and is probably my favorite version of the story.

Liu Yao

Author: Priest

Quality: 6

Enjoyment: 7.5

Comments: I really struggled getting into this one, it took me about 25 chapters to get invested. Initially I had rated it a 6 in enjoyment but after careful thought, I realized that even though it was so hard for me, it probably is my favorite Priest novel and I really do love the main couple so much. Her side characters also seem to be slightly stronger than usual in this one. Decent plot, not too much or too little. It seems really chill to me, doesn’t provoke much of an emotional reaction but I do think it’s very sweet, which is nice sometimes too.

Would I read it again: No, but I think (?) it’s supposed to get some kind of tv adaptation (drama or donghua, not sure), and if that happens, I’ll watch it.

Didn’t Know the General was Female

Author: Rong Qing

Quality: 4

Enjoyment: 6

Comments: Not the greatest thing I’ve ever read, but cute. It’s short, and a little lesbian fluff is never a bad thing. Writing is a bit weak and the plot is basic, but the characters are enjoyable and I liked it overall.

Would I read it again: No.

Wrong Way to a Demon Sect Leader

Author: Yi Zhi Dayan

Quality: 4

Enjoyment: 7

Comments: Again, not the greatest in writing or plot, it’s a bit shallow. But I found the idea of it to be entertaining, and actually liked it more than I would have assumed. It’s fairly short and cute, like a good summer beach read.

Would I read it again: Probably not, but possibly, if the stars align.

Female General and Eldest Princess

Author: Please Don’t Laugh

Quality: 7

Enjoyment: 6

Comments: A very good first effort, but the writing is a bit weak. It’s slow to start and I don’t think the political plotline is spectacularly strong. Some things were left unexplained, and her sense of battle tactics and fight-writing were very confusing, definitely room for improvement. I don’t think it’s as good as people say, but she writes with the air of someone who will continue to improve. And also, a lesbian author writing lesbian stories so that’s a plus. Overall I enjoyed the experience, this story is definitely worth a read.

Would I read it again: Maybe, but probably not.

Sha Po Lang

Author: Priest

Quality: 7

Enjoyment: 7

Comments: Originally I rated this one higher, but on later thought I realized that I actually enjoyed Liu Yao more. I personally have issues with the way Priest writes, and this book showed a lot of them. Characters were okay, I did like the main couple, but side characters were weak as usual. The plot is pretty good, though not great, and I think some of the pacing is off. Some descriptions were confusing, but that could be a translation issue. Overall, still a pretty good political drama, but I would say that of the three I read, this was the Priest novel with the least impact on me.

Would I read it again: No. But I will watch the live action if it ever gets made.

Guardian

Author: Priest

Quality: 6

Enjoyment: 5

Comments: I love Shen Wei and Zhao Yunlan, thought the plot was interesting, and there were some enjoyable moments. But it has all the problems I usually have with Priest in addition to some choices that offend me as a queer reader. I spent about 75% of the time reading while pissed off. And actually the fact that it had a happy ending kinda bummed me out because I love a good tragedy. Overall, I can only give it an average score. If you like Priest, you’ll like this one too. I’m not a tv person but I binged the hell out of the live action, I really loved it, so I was sort of disappointed that the source material didn’t seem as strong as I had assumed.

Would I read it again: No, but I will happily watch the live action again some day.

Jing Wei Qing Shang

Author: Please Don’t Laugh

Quality: 9.8

Enjoyment: 10

Comments: I have to start off by saying: damn girl. The improvement evident in this book is absolutely insane. A few minor issues prevent me from giving it a 10 out of 10 – her transitions are still extremely abrupt, the ending is slightly weak and some plot points remain unresolved, and her use of narrative repetition is too heavy-handed for my taste. Other than that, this book leaves me almost speechless. Very similar to Female General and Eldest Princess, there are many similar themes and events. But while I thought FGEP was fairly cute, I like this one way better. If you like angst, political intrigue, and lesbians, you should definitely read this book. I have no doubt that Please Don’t Laugh will continue to improve in the future, and I really look forward to following her career.

Would I read it again: 100%, I absolutely intend to read this again sometime in the future. It’s very long and very dense but delightful and ultimately worth it.

Fox Demon Cultivation Manual

Author: Feng Ge Qie Xing

Quality: 8

Enjoyment: 10

Comments: This was a delightful romp. I had expected it to be somewhat silly and was pleasantly surprised. It was heavy enough to be engaging but light enough to be an easy read, with multiple spots that made me literally laugh out loud which does not happen often. This is apparently just one book in a series of same universe novels, and a lighter-hearted one at that. I would be interested to read the others because I found the world pretty engaging, and I do want to know what became of the other characters. Overall I found it very fun and very cute, I read it in four days so that says something. On the downside, the link for chapter 9 is broken. But skipping a chapter doesn’t seem to have affected the experience of the novel as a whole.

Would I read it again: Yeah I think I would be willing to read this again someday. If it gets adapted I would also consume adaptations, in addition to being interested in the other connected works.

Golden Stage

Author: Cang Wu Bin Bai

Quality: 6

Enjoyment: 7

Comments: This one has some Sha Po Lang vibes, but the characters have more depth and chemistry. The word ‘more’ here is extremely relative because it’s still pretty shallow. I honestly liked them both, I liked the relationship and the psuedo-rude way that they flirt entertained me. As for the plot…ehhhh. It tried. There were things that worked, but in general the plot seemed disjointed from the characters and there were a few things that had no business being there and just muddied the waters. It’s not bad necessarily, it’s just not very smooth. There are better political intrigues to read if that’s what you want. But if you just want some sugar-sweet fluff with a backdrop of drama, then this one is perfect. My favorite scene was probably the flashback to the first few times they met, absolutely fantastic.

Would I read it again: Nah.

Nan Chan

Author: Tang Jiuqing

Quality: 8

Enjoyment: 6

Comments: This one is kind of weird because it’s definitely competent, it’s well-written and has a fairly in-depth plot, but I just didn’t really enjoy it all that much? I never got emotionally attached to any of the characters, and I didn’t even really get the relationship buildup. I understand what the author is going for with it of course, but it didn’t necessarily make a lot of sense… Or rather it seems like some bits in the middle were just missing, there’s good buildup in the beginning and in the end but how they got from point A to point B was kind of not explored to my satisfaction. I did really like the flashback to the past, I thought that storyline was all pretty interesting. The big bad was kind of disappointing to me as well though. In general, I think this is a really good book with a lot of skill behind it but it’s just not really my thing.

Would I read it again: No.

[gigslist]

34+ Voiceover Roles & 3 Musician Open Calls - Work From Home - Paid

'F*cking Sober' Podcast

22 + Roles

3 Open Calls for Musicians With Their Own Music

PAID WORK FROM HOME NON UNION

Deadline : September 15, 2021 2:00 PM

Somehow9am Productions // F*cking Sober: the first 90 days Podcast

Katie Mack, coord.

:"A call for artists in recovery for the 2nd Season of The Webby Award Winning Podcast Series 'F*cking Sober: the first 90 days.' We are looking for voice over talent and musicians/music producers for 'FS: Shadai.' 'F*cking Sober' is a semi-comedic mostly non-fictional narrative podcast following Shadai’s first 90 days of getting sober. Thirty-five year old Shadai is the black, queer, strong female in advertising— so what if she keeps shots in her bra for between meetings, right? But after a shitshow holiday party, a fuzzy cop encounter, and a disaster presentation with the new big account, Dry January doesn’t seem like such a bad idea. Maybe Dry Forever is better. This is what it looks, acts, and feels like to get f*cking sober. This 8 episode serialized show features music by artists with their own story with recovery. F*cking Sober Season 1: Anita has received 15k downloads since it’s release in Nov 2020, and received a 2021 Webby Nomination for Best Limited Series, and a Webby Win for Best Writing for a Podcast. At this time we are only looking to work with artists who have a relationship/understanding of recovery. Please follow instructions for submitting and what to include in the cover letter to be considered! Thank you! Listen to Season 1 to get the vibe: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/f-cking-sober-the-first-90-days/id1538804959?i=1000499155627 And check out: www.fckingsoberpodcast.com @fckingsober90_podcast More information about Somehow9am Productions & Katie Mack (Producer): www.somehow9amproductions.com www.mackstage.com"

Roles

Shadai (Voiceover): Female, 18+WORK FROM HOMEproduction states: "Note: We are only accepting submissions from artists who have their own story in recovery, TY! 35 year old, black, queer, cis gender female attorney with a dry sense of humor, who has strong opinions and shares them sometimes, is a powerhouse and knows it all… until… until she doesn’t. Please note your experience with improv/comedy in your cover letter If you have writing experience or are interested in writing please note this in your cover letter. We will be giving writing credits to the right candidate who desires to contribute to the molding of this character."Required Media: Voice Reel

Other Characters (Voiceover): 20-70

"Note: We are only accepting submissions from artists who have their own story in recovery, TY! We are looking for diversity in every sense of the word, from all genders, to ages, to ethnicities, to lived experiences, to food preferences!! In short, we are looking to cast dope, interesting people. Looking to cast various characters through out the S2 Shadai, including but not limited to:

Dad (black, army veteran, a dad’s dad)

Mom (black, hyper critical, the opposite of Shadai)

Dana (any ethnicity, work enemy)

Coco (white, work bestie)

JewBoo aka Therapist (Jewish, confidant, motherly, with a special sense of humor)

Miriam (black, best friend and ex-lover who tells it like it is)

Galen (white, gay, best friend who is warm and caring and pushy)

15 other characters Please note any experience you may have with comedy/improv if any. Please submit your reel along with your cover letter."Required Media: Voice Reel, Cover Letter

Musicians (BIPOC Artists in Recovery) (Voiceover): 18+ music from BIPOC identifying artists.

Musicians (Queer Identifying Artist in Recovery) (Voiceover): 18+ music by Queer Artists.

Musicians (Non-BIPOC/Non-Queer Artists in Recovery) (Voiceover): 18+ music from non-BIPOC or non-Queer Identifying Artists in recovery.

"To be produced over the course of October 2021 - January 2022 Shadai’s commitment is estimated at two hrs/wk. Other characters 30mins. Musicians, all work should already exist. Please be prepared to send stems or stripped down tracks."

Compensation & Union Contract Details

Stipend: $25 - $75Production states: "Shadai (Lead Character), $550 for full season. All Other Characters: $25-$50 per episode. Musicians: $25-$75 per song per episode. Sync license contract."

Seeking talent: Nationwide (United States)

Website:http://www.fckingsoberpodcast.com

======================================

'Rain: Series III'

12 Voiceover Roles

PAID WORK FROM HOME NONUNION

Deadline: September 14, 2021 8:59 PM

JKPRising James Klim, filmmaker

Seeking voiceover talent for "Rain: Series III," a web-series, created in the video game Halo Reach on MCC via Xbox/PC. "This series will have a total of 13 episodes. I have many characters to cast, 12 specifically. If you wish to learn more about the show, you can check out my documentary series regarding the show. You can view the first episode here - www.youtube.com/watch?v=AlzPQvJS3og A little bit about me, I am a freelance filmmaker who actually got into film through making Halo videos as a kid when I was younger. You can check out some of my work here - www.jkprising.com/ I've always wanted to return to my roots & finish a series I was never able to before, but now I have the time to focus on it. This is a paid position. Rates depend on each character as some have more lines than others & vice versa. I am not the wealthiest person in the world, but I will to compensate each voice actor for their performance. My budget per character is between $100 - $300. This again, all varies per character. In this post, there is a video of what the character will look like in the series. I have also attached a single page from a random episode script from the show. The highlighted lines are what the character will say. There will also be non verbal lines highlighted, this is meant to be voiced kind of like an anime, where every movement usually has sounds. Typically, how would you make a sound if you did any of the following, head turn, turns around, surprised gasp, sighs, etc. Since this a paid gig, I am expecting a professional voice audition & if hired, continued professional audio. This means minimum to no background noise. The audio needs to be crisp."

Roles

Chloe Moody (Voiceover): Female, 18-35WORK FROM HOME29. Voice type: English/United Kingdom accent, polite, doesn't get mad often but when she does, she loses it, anxious, low self esteem, hopeful. Chloe Moody used to be a psychiatrist, but after the death of her soon to be husband, she spiraled into insanity. She met someone later on in life named Tom Rains, who looked exactly like her dead boyfriend. She became obsessed with him & tried to get with him, which sunk her further into a deep depression. She finally hit rock bottom, which causes her to seek out help from the very people she used to serve. Chloe meets a psychiatrist named Jennifer, who is able to help herself almost fully recover. Chloe eventually accidently runs back into Tom, which triggers Chloe to try one last time. After a final rejection, Chloe comes to the realization that she is not redeemable & decides to take her own life in front of Tom. Chloe's death, triggers a massive event for Tom Rains, which has massive ramifications for the series. Chloe is a major character and will appear in a couple episodes.Languages:

English

Accents:

British

Australian

Voice Styles:

Soft

Softspoken

Crazy

Compassionate

Sad

Angry

Required Media: Voice Reel

Dark Daryl (Voiceover): Male, 18-40WORK FROM HOME

32, voice type: Very dark presence, evil. sadistic, look at examples like Yami Marik from the Original Yu-Gi-Oh - www.youtube.com/watch?v=4xaa_ycud6o, manic, darkness. Dark Daryl is the darkness of his original persona, Daryl. Daryl accidentally acquired a powerful technology known as an imperium. This caused Daryl to lose himself to it at some point & was taken over by an alternate personality named, The Professor, which caused tons of damage. When Daryl came back to his senses, the damage had been done & others abandoned him, which caused him to grow angry at something that he didn't consciously do. Daryl once again loses himself to the imperium, which turns into Dark Daryl, a representation of all the anger & hatred he endured over the course of his past uncontrollable actions. Dark Daryl is very aggressive, sadistic & wants to destroy the people who wronged him in the past. Eventually, he comes face to face with Daryl & fights to stay as the one who remains in control, even if that means killing Daryl & anyone who gets in his way. Dark Daryl is a character who appears in the second half of the show, & becomes the series main villain. He will appear in many episodes.

Languages:

English

Voice Styles:

Aggressive

Angry

Evil

Commanding

Straightforward

Scary

Dangerous

Intimidating

Demonic

Required Media: Voice Reel

Nikki (Voiceover): Female, 18-35 WORK FROM HOME

25. Voice type: Energetic, passionate, caring, open-minded, loving, positive, independent, fighter. Nikki used to date Tom Rains. She didn't really have much going for her, as she had no ambition at all during that time of her life. After Tom broke up with her, this was quite the shock to Nikki. It caused her to really dive deep within herself & from that moment, she tried to learn more about herself. She discovered a love for storytelling, & so went into journalism. Nikki is now dating Jennifer & they have been together for almost a year. Nikki eventually gets wrapped up in a major conspiracy, which drags many of her friends in with her. She is in for the story of her entire career. Nikki is a major character and will appear in many episodes.

Languages:

English

Voice Styles:

Comforting

Compassionate

Caring

Amusing

Animated

Brave

Heroic

Required Media: Voice Reel

Talent works remotely with professional recording equipment.

Professional Pay: $100 - $300Pays between $100-$300 depending on character.

Nationwide (United States)

Additional Materials

Website: https://www.jkprising.com/

Nikki Audition.pdf - https://d26oc3sg82pgk3.cloudfront.net/files/media/uploads/casting_call/7f95c65b-ab53-43d3-a66b-9e59d1041acb.pdf

Dark Daryl Audition.pdf - https://d26oc3sg82pgk3.cloudfront.net/files/media/uploads/casting_call/00cfdf46-84c1-4da6-9dee-91c7bcdeed3d.pdf

Chloe Moody Audition.pdf https://d26oc3sg82pgk3.cloudfront.net/files/media/uploads/casting_call/186cbe9e-9c7e-4ce5-bcbe-2407a9dec00b.pdf

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Psycho Analysis: Fu Manchu

(WARNING! This analysis contains DISCUSSIONS OF OUTDATED RACIST STEREOTYPES! This analysis does not support or condone such things whatsoever and merely is here to analyze the cultural impact of the character!)

"Imagine a person, tall, lean, and feline, high-shouldered, with a brow like Shakespeare and a face like Satan, a close-shaven skull, and long, magnetic eyes of the true cat-green. Invest him with all the cruel cunning of an entire Eastern race, accumulated in one giant intellect, with all the resources, if you will, of a wealthy government—which, however, already has denied all knowledge of his existence. Imagine that awful being, and you have a mental picture of Dr. Fu-Manchu, the yellow peril incarnate in one man."

— The Mystery of Dr. Fu-Manchu (1913)

I think it really goes without saying that the late 19th century and early 20th century were deeply, incredibly racist. One such manifestation of the racism and xenophobia of the times was the villainous archetype known as the Yellow Peril. The so-called “Yellow Peril” is a caricature of eastern cultures, portrayed in a villainous light; the characters are diabolical criminal masterminds who tend to be geniuses, know kung fu, have mystical powers, command barbarian hordes, and dress like the most stereotypical dynastic noble you could imagine. Just think of every single cringeworthy Asian stereotype you can imagine, stuff it into one villainous package, and BOOM! You have yourself a Yellow Peril villain.

You’ve most definitely seen villains that fit some semblance of this trope. Lo Pan of Big Trouble in Little China and Long Feng from Avatar: The Last Airbender are notable examples (and ones that aren’t particularly problematic, as their works don’t rely on some white guy saving the day and instead have Asian heroes). But we’re not here to talk about them, oh no – we’re here to talk about the grandaddy of them all, the villain who codified the idea of a Yellow Peril villain to such… er, for lack of a better word, “perfection,” that even though he has somewhat faded from the public consciousness he has managed to continue inspiring villains up until the present day: Fu Manchu.

While not the first Yellow Peril villain, he is pretty much the face of it. He is what comes to mind when you envision such a villain, which may be because his cultural impact runs so deep – characters such as Batman’s nemesis Ra’s al-Ghul, the Iron Man foe The Mandarin, and James Bond baddie Doctor No among many others all draw inspiration from this legendary Devil Doctor. So what exactly is his deal that has made him such a problematic icon?

Motivation/Goals: So Fu Manchu’s goals started with him being a Chinese nationalist but eventually he moved into your standard world domination, with him developing over time into becoming a sort of noble criminal, a diabolical mastermind with some level of ethics, class, and standards; the man sent his nemesis gifts on his wedding day and always stuck to his word. This doesn’t seem like much now, but you gotta remember, this guy was one of the first big literary supervillains; you’ve gotta cut him a little slack.

Performance: So it is time to discuss the elephant in the room… not once in his long and storied history in film has Fu Manchu been portrayed by an actor of Chinese, Japanese, Korean, or Indian descent. Fu Manchu has always, always been portrayed by the worst possible option in every single case: a white guy in yellow face. Christopher Lee is perhaps the most well-known white man to play him in a serious work, portraying him in a series of films, though Boris Karloff portrayed him as well. 

Peter Sellers portrayed Fu in his last major cinematic appearance, though unlike most other examples that film – The Fiendish Plot of Dr. Fu Manchu – was a parody, which does at least take away a little bit of the bad taste.

The only valid white man portrayal is, of course, from the fake trailer for Werewolf Women of the S.S. As said fake trailer is a ridiculous sendup of exploitation films and trashy cinema in general, the inclusion of a white man playing the fiendish doctor is pretty much part of the joke – but it’s who they got that’s the real treat. We’ll get to that shortly, but before that…

It is honestly really disgusting that in the long history of this character, he has never once been portrayed by an Asian actor. You’d think at some point that someone might at least just cast any sort of Asian due to the unfortunate tendency to view Asian actors as interchangeable, but they couldn’t even do that.

Final Fate: Fu Manchu is notable because he always gets away, even if his plans are foiled; in fact, he’ll sometimes have plans within plans, so even when he loses, he still wins to some degree. But enough about his in-universe fate; let’s talk about the real world fate of the character, where Fu Manchu has a very odd legal status in terms of public domain.

While the first three books are in the public domain, some characters from later books are not considered part of the public domain, which has lead to situations such as Marvel’s Master of Kung Fu not being able to be reprinted for years. On top of this, as the character’s creator Sax Rohmer died in 1959, Fu Manchu is not in the public domain in Europe; this has led to him appearing but not being directly named in Alan Moore’s The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, where he is only referred to as “The Doctor” (amusingly, he goes up against Moriarty in that comic, the character he draws inspiration from).

Best Scene: In what is one of the very few non-offensive uses of the character, Fu Manchu is given a brief cameo in the trailer for Werewolf Women of the S.S. that shows up in the Rodriguez/Tarantino double feature Grindhouse, and he’s played by… well… just watch:

Final Thoughts & Score: Fu Manchu is an absolutely fascinating villain born out of incredibly problematic places.

There is absolutely no denying that Fu Manchu was created from a deeply racist place. It’s an unavoidable fact. There is no getting around it. Fu Manchu as a character was meant to demonize the Chinese, to the point where production of films based on him as well as the novels was halted in times of war when the Chinese were allies. These books, these stories, are all extremely problematic by the standards of today.

But with that being said… who, exactly, is the title character? Do you know, without looking it up, who the hero who Fu Manchu antagonizes is, the Holmes to his Moriarty? This is Fu Manchu’s series, and throughout it he projects an air of intelligence, sophistication, and even honor that you wouldn’t expect would be afforded to a character such as him. As far as racist propaganda goes, an extremely charitable person could be able to call this “progressive” in some regard. Positive discrimination is a step up from regular discrimination, right? Again, there’s really no getting around the glaring problems with the character and his origins, but the fact Fu Manchu is one of the first supercriminals in literature and manages to just be unflinchingly cool to the point where you’ll probably end up rooting for him over the bland white protagonists says something for how utterly racism fails when it manages to make the object of its derision infinitely cooler than the race it’s trying to prop up as superior.

By my own criteria, Fu Manchu could only be an 11/10. I can’t deny how much of an impact, for better or for worse, the fiendish doctor has had on pop culture, to the point where he gave his name to and subsequently killed off a variety of facial hair, a feat only matched by Hitler. But this comes with a disclaimer: I cannot stress enough that Fu Manchu is deeply and inherently problematic on a conceptual level, and that despite how genuinely cool and fascinating he is in the right hands it doesn’t and cannot erase that his original purpose was to demonize the Chinese and Asian cultures. He also managed to help perpetuate yellowface and helped to popularize cliches that have plagued Asian villains to this day. While many in his wake have still managed to be cool and engaging in their own right, it really cannot be said how this character has a very complex history. Has he done more bad than good? That’s not for a white guy like me to determine; I’m merely here to determine the overall quality of the villain and determine their impact, and Fu Manchu undeniably has impacted culture. It would be wrong and disingenuous to break my own rules to give him a lower rating due to his problematic elements, but at the same time I cannot sit here and pretend they do not exist.

I would love to see the day where Fu Manchu can be reclaimed to some extent. Look at Shang-Chi, for example; the (at this time) upcoming Marvel film is set to feature the Fu Manchu-inspired Mandarin as a major character, and he is set to be played by Tony Leung Chiu-wai, a Hong Kong actor. If one of the characters inspired by him can get portrayed by an Asian actor, perhaps someday in the future Fu Manchu can be reclaimed from his racist origins and given the respectful treatment he deserves. Fu Manchu is a character that is in many ways accidentally incredible and iconic. Born from horrendous racism, and yet the racist screeds depicting him always somehow manage to prop him up as the best character in the lot… it’s the paradox of racist thought, to go so far in demonizing their target they manage to make them more interesting and engaging than the generic protagonists. Fu Manchu is a truly great villain mired in the problems of the time he was created; in the right hands, great work could be done with him.

Bottom line is: Rob Zombie, get Nicolas Cage on the phone and start filming Werewolf Women of the S.S.

[mst3kproject]

Atomic Rulers

 So 2020 fucking blows.  We’ve got Death and Pestilence all over the place, War is waiting in the wings licking her chops, and I’m sure Famine is only a matter of time.  You know what we need?  A hero. Operator, put me through to the Emerald Planet!  After fifty-five years, the Earth must once again call upon Star Man.

(I apologize for the poor quality screencaps in this review.  The WiFi at sea is not great, so I’m watching movies on YouTube in decidedly low definition. I’ll replace them with better ones if I ever get out of here.)

Atomic Rulers, also sometimes known as Atomic Rulers of the World, is actually the first Star Man movie.  Does that mean we get an origin story for our brave hero?  Of course not.  Instead, we learn that the evil nation of… uh… a sign in the movie says Merapolia but the dubbing sounds like Magolia... whatever. Their nuclear testing is starting to contaminate Outer Space and the Emerald Men don’t like that – they send Star Man to Earth to do something about it.

This movie gives us two things none of the other Star Man movies do.  First of all, there’s an actual purpose to that ‘globemeter’ watch thingy he wears. The opening of every movie explains that the globemeter allows Star Man to do three things: travel through outer space, speak and understand any language, and detect sources of radioactivity. The first two functions have proven to be very useful, but neither the Salamander Men nor Ballazar’s Brain were radioactive, so the third just sat there like the stocks app on an iPhone.  Now, with the threat of concealed Magolian nuclear weapons, he finally uses it!

The second is, holy shit, a plot.  The Magolians want to rule the world, and aliens from a dozen different Godzilla movies have assured them that when conquering the Earth, you have to start with Japan.  To that end, their agents are sneaking atomic weapons into the country. Star-Man tries to confiscate these, and in the midst of the lame-ass fight scene that follows, the Magolian Bag-O-Nukes is carried off by a bunch of annoying little kids!  The Magolians kidnap one of the kids and try to force him to tell them where their bomb is.  Star-Man rescues the boy, but it’s too late – they’ve already retrieved the bomb.  There’s just a few hours left before Japan must surrender, or be blown to bits as an example to the rest of the world!

There’s actually even more to the plot than that. It’s full of wild twists and turns, with Star Man and the Magolians taking turns looking like they’re about to win the day.  Yet at the same time, unlike the other Star Man films, the story is not obviously bifurcated!  You can tell where Movie One ends and Movie Two begins (with the rescue of the kidnapped kid), but the same characters are involved throughout rather than changing from reel to reel.  Even the gaggle of nameless kids in short-shorts kind of play a role in the plot, helping Star Man and giving information to the police whenever they can. The plot unspools in a single main storyline from beginning to end, and events usually make enough sense that you can figure out where they fit.

Even more shockingly, Star Man himself actually has some personality in this film, even a bit of a character arc.  In the other movies he just ran around punching aliens and smiling at children, but here we see him as a bit of an arrogant dick, confident in his ability to beat the mere humans who represent the threat to the universe.  When he is nearly beaten instead, he is forced to learn a little humility, and nearly sacrifices his life to save a hostage.

By leaps and bounds, then, this is the best Star Man movie I’ve seen.  There’s a couple more out there, but they’d have to work hard to be better than Atomic Rulers.  At the same time, as praise goes ‘the best Star Man movie’ is almost as faint as ‘the best Coleman Francis movie’.  It still sucks big-time, and Mike and the bots would have had riff material to spare.

I mean, this is a movie where the bad guys have a giant cartoon demon face on the wall of their lair for some reason, and when they’re not disguised in blazers and ties they wear coronavirus suits with the same face on the chest.  There’s a bit where Star Man swordfights with a bunch of them, using fencing foils that were just lying around in the room for some reason.  Other fight scenes are mostly things like Magolians frantically shooting at Star Man while he just stands there looking smug. The ‘atomic core’ MacGuffin is just a plastic tube full of glitter.  The back-projected ‘flying’ effects are dire.  There’s a bomb that has a literal clock on the side ticking down the minutes like in an old cartoon.  There’s a pretty girl strapped into a death trap that I can only describe as the world’s slowest guillotine.

There’s a fairly extended sequence in which we see the Magolians’ car driving down a road, then cut to Star-Man flying, then back to the car, then back to Star Man, then back to the car, and on and on until I could almost hear Crow shouting “he’s following them!  We get it!”

The Magolians themselves confuse me a bit. People refer to their embassy and their ambassadors, and there’s a flag on their car and so forth, so I’m pretty sure they’re supposed to be from a country on Earth… and yet they behave exactly like the villains of a Japanese alien invasion movie.  They have dumb costumes, they call the guy in charge ‘supreme leader’, and most distracting of all, they refer to conquering ‘the Earth’.  Maybe this is just an artifact of the translation, but I would expect humans to talk about ruling ‘the world’ rather than ‘the Earth’.  It left me expecting a big reveal at the end, and when there wasn’t one, I had to go back to the beginning to see if they’d been established as aliens and I’d missed it.

Speaking of possible artifacts of translation, there’s another thing here I’m not sure about.  A lot of Japanese ‘no nukes’ movies have American antagonists, or at least, white guys who are clearly a stand-in for Americans.  My favourite example is the belligerent country of Rolisica in Mothra, which is an absolutely hilarious summary of what 60’s Japan thought the West was like.  Magolia, on the other hand, appears to be a stand-in for the USSR.  The actors playing the Magolians are mostly white, and we only ever hear two of their names: the supreme leader has a nonsense name, but the ambassador is called Boris Zedenko.  I wonder if this is original to the script, or whether it was changed when the movie was dubbed for American release.

The thing I find most interesting about Atomic Rulers is that while Star Man does save the Earth, that’s not really his goal.  The Emerald Men sent him here to prevent a war because Earth’s radioactivity was leaking into outer space, threatening other planets.  Star Man isn’t here to save humanity, he’s here to save the rest of the universe from us; saving us from ourselves is merely a side-effect.

This makes Star-Man a little different from his imitators, Space Chief and Prince of Space.  Despite their space-themed code-names, they are humans from Earth, with a specific interest in protecting this planet.  Star-Man seems to have the broader responsibility of protecting the civilized galaxy in general, and this is reflected in the premises of his movies. In Evil Brain from Outer Space, Ballazar’s Brain is using Earth as a place to launch a general takeover of the universe. Invasion from Space was a little less clear about it, but I’m pretty sure there was something about the Earth being ‘the richest planet in the galaxy’ and the Salamander Men would presumably use that loot for nefarious purposes.

A side implication here is that Star-Man probably has other adventures, too – we’re only seeing the ones that happen to bring him to our particular planet.  Considering how strange Star-Man movies can be anyway, and how trippy the brief shot of the Emerald Planet, with its crystal-headed creatures and robots and even a couple of what appear to be the Pairans from Warning from Space, one has to wonder about these potential non-Earth storylines.  How fucking weird would those be?  I’m imagining something like an entire movie about Krankor’s pet giant.

Another thing that distinguishes Star Man from the other space dinks is that he has actual superpowers.  Space Chief and Prince of Space are basically just normal guys in stupid outfits.  Prince of Space claims that Krankor’s ray guns have no effect on him, but really we see he’s using his wand-thing to deflect them.  Star Man, who is from another planet, can fly and has super-strength. This kind of makes me wonder if he was intended as a Superman imitator… but that would make Space Chief and Prince of Space the equivalent of Batman, and I just can’t insult Batman like that.

I am developing an honest affection for Star Man movies.  Their desperate cheapness is more than made up for by their over-the-top absurdity, and the result is not at all ‘good’ by any reasonable measure and yet is always entertaining.  Camp like that is all too rare to find, and even rarer to find a franchise like Gamera or Star Man that can do it dependably.  I don’t know why the Japanese are apparently so good at this, but I’m glad somebody is.

[the-trashy-phoenix]

Supernatural season 3 review (part 1)

Link to part 2:

Having also finished the third season, I have to admit each one until now is better than the one before. Of course that’s because you grow fond of the characters, but I honestly think it gets more and more original and involving going on. Starting with the tight link with the previous season, which in this case is Sam’s death. If you’ve never watched Supernatural, don’t worry, these guys die and come back to life on average once a season; if you’re a Supernatural fan, well, you surely know it better than me.

Resuming quickly, in the last episodes of the second season Sam dies killed by one of those guys who, just like him, have some sort of psychic abilities and are supposed to take part to the upcoming war fighting in the Yellow-eyed demon’s (whose name is Azazel, as I learnt reading Carly’s review) army. Dean is of course devastated and can’t just leave Sam dead, so he manages to make a deal (rings a bell?) with the Crossroad demon, who had appeared at some point in the second season: Sam can be brought back but the price for Dean is extremely high, because the demon would make him live for just one more year, after which he will go directly to hell. It’s understandable that he does it because he can’t live without his brother and it’s been his duty to protect and save him since when they were children, but it’s also undeniable that it’s kind of Dean’s way to get partly rid of that sense of guilt he constantly feels because of John’s sacrifice. It reminded me of Greek tragedy, because some plays have a usual pattern, whose main feature is that parents’ faults fall onto their children in an endless chain of guilt and grief from which it is impossible to escape. Dean feels like his life isn’t worth living anymore and it seems more than right to him to give it to his beloved brother, that’s why when Sam wakes up he doesn’t seem to worry about his end, at least at the very beginning. On the other hand Sam now experiences Dean’s same sense of guilt and is mad at him for imposing it to him, even if deep inside he knows he would have done the same thing, but he also can’t understand how his brother could and can accept so easily the idea of dying. In fact he can’t, he’s just pretending once again to protect Sam, who tries to save him, just like he himself did, in every possible way. At a certain point this pretending is revealed and underlines powerfully the lack of communication between the two, just like what happened after John died, when Dean kept hiding his grief because he’s supposed to be the strongest, as a big brother. I do comprehend they lie to one another for the best, but it always turns out to be a really bad choice.

Before proceeding with the episodes and the single characters, I’d like to point out one thing I feel like I delayed too much. I’m talking out about Dean’s obsession for girls (or hot chicks, if you prefer). I know it’s a part of his characterization as the prototype of the heterosexual strong man, but still I think it’s a bit exaggerated at some point, giving the impression he objectifies women. By the way let’s also consider that ten or fifteen years ago maybe there wasn’t exactly the same sensibility we now have.

This time I’ll be more schematic in commenting the episodes, because I think I’ve something to say for nearly each one of them, as they are full of events and of some new interesting characters.

In the second episode we meet Lisa, a sweetheart of Dean’s from when he was younger: he wants to meet her again, but he soon finds out she has a son, who he suspects being his. For how we know Dean we would swear he’ll be terrified by the idea of having a son, but at the end he’s unexpectedly disappointed that child is not his. This is just apparently weird, for we can explain it well considering Dean’s recurrent desire and thought of having a “normal” life and a family of his own, and maybe also all that looking for the hottest girls is nothing but a means of hiding his strong will for a stable life and partner. I have to say this episode is also really scary and disquieting because of the demonic children.

The third episode welcomes a more permanent character, Bela Talbot, a cunning thief who keeps bothering Sam and Dean during their hunts. She’s the typical bad-but-fascinating kind of character: she’s so smart you’re naturally driven to sympathize with her. The boys have a strange relationship with her, as further on, in episode 6, they’re forced to cooperate with her to solve a case and they even succeed in saving her life even if she didn’t really prove to deserve it. It sometimes seems like her mean attitude takes over her just because it’s her nature; so, even though, as I said, the brothers saved her, she steals the Colt, putting them in serious difficulty. No surprise the boys quit relying on her and refuse to save her again in the last episodes: we learn she wanted the Colt for herself because she is soon dying due to a deal she had made years before with a demon that killed her parents. Her story is quite sad, but of course she could have saved herself giving up her dark side and trusting Sam and Dean.

I really enjoyed the fifth episode, in which the fairy tales of the brothers Grimm come tragically true from a girl’s fantasy. It’s funny how supernatural events grow stranger as the episodes go on, and how sometimes the protagonists can’t believe some things actually exist even if they’re used to that. This episode is also a turning point in the general plot because Sam, desperate for saving Dean, kills the Crossroad demon with the Colt (before Bela steals it) hoping to free his brother from his deal, but the creature unexpectedly tells him that another mysterious and very powerful demon holds the contract. Sam is puzzled and he and Dean will dedicate the rest of the season to hunting that one.

I’ll mention episode 7 because we meet again an old friend, Gordon, one of the main villains of the second season who comes back to have revenge, but, as I anticipated in the previous review, he’s finally defeated in the most ironic way. In a sort of ring composition, the episode is about vampires, the same creatures Sam and Dean are hunting when they meet Gordon for the first time, and the hunter gets bit by one of them and he becomes the monster he hated the most. I don’t wanna sound mean, but he actually deserved that.

I liked the episode set at Christmas, first of all because it’s truly the best time of the year (at least for me), secondly because I think it fits perfectly Dean’s situation, being a joyful period, but also full of sadness and melancholy for another year is passing by. Of course Dean can’t but feel it strongly and I think that’s why he gets so emotional, wanting to celebrate as a proper family. We also feel so sorry for the brothers as we see flashbacks from their childhood representing their memories of their sad time on their own following their dad in his continuous hunting.

I can’t but give a special mention to episode 11, which Carly expected, and made me expect, impatiently. It’s just so funny and frustrating at same time, with the same day repeating all over again without Sam being able to stop the loop, and leading him to lose his brother for six long months (kind of a preview of what will happen when Dean will be “permanently” dead) and at the end to bring him back making the trickster (the same one we met in the first season) stop creating alternative realities.

We also see again some other recurrent characters: Bobby, who I analysed in the previous review, in episode 10 in particular, because the boys are called to save him from his own dreams, and to do so they have to enter them (in this way we and the brothers have the chance to know more about him and his past); the so-called “Ghostfacers”, a group of clumsy fake hunters Sam and Dean had met in the first season (and meet again now in episode 12) and have constantly to save from themselves and the hunts they put themselves into; the FBI agent Henricksen, who is “hunting” the brothers as he thinks they’re dangerous criminals. Nevertheless, in episode 12, he has to change his mind and reconsider his opinions about them for the police station where Sam and Dean are kept is attacked by a demonic army and Henricksen himself gets possessed. While deciding how to fight them, they are helped by Ruby, a demon who seems to be different from the others: at first she seems willing to help Sam saving Dean, and help the boys in general (as in episode 12 against the army), but at the end her purpose comes out. But let’s go a little bit back to Henricksen and the police station: they manage to defeat all those demons really smartly (they read out the exorcism formula though speakers which spread the sound all over the place), but when everything seems to be going well, Sam and Dean learn from the news that another demon came at the police station after they left and killed everyone. It is called Lilith, and she’s the real villain of the season, mainly because it’s her who holds Dean’s contract. So of course the final fight is to defeat Lilith, but also to save Dean’s life. That’s when Ruby intervenes again to suggest Sam could use his psychic abilities to defeat her. He’s tempted by Ruby’s ideas because, even if he doesn’t know how to manage his powers, he’s so focused on saving his brother’s life he could be a bit naïve trusting Ruby without really knowing what’s her real purpose, even though she seems to be the only good demon living. On the contrary Dean doesn’t believe her at all. We can’t know how the things would have ended up if they listened to Ruby’s advice, but they don’t and they can’t kill Lilith, so Dean is chewed up by the hellhounds and goes directly to hell. This scene is so heartbreaking because Sam’s pain is nearly unbearable and you find yourself having hoped, or having been sure, Dean would survive in some ways. That’s how the third season ends, with Sam broken into tears, Lilith still strong and free, Dean covered in blood deep down in hell. Hope seems far away. Or maybe we just have to wait for the next season.

- Irene 💕

[eisforeidolon]

Episode: Raising Hell

So, uh, basically I have no idea why anything in this episode happens or what its point is supposed to be. Having looked up who wrote it somewhere in the middle, I am completely lacking in surprise.

I mean, the first bit pretty much sets the tone.  Chatty Corpsy spouts exposition a mile a minute, then gets killed, and the ghost stands over her and spells disembowel.  Is that actually supposed to be scary?  Funny?  Anything but an absolutely bizarre waste of my time?

A bunch of dudes with basically nothing but FBI jackets and a bullshit story to back themselves up with convince an entire town to camp out in the local high school for two days without anybody figuring out they're full of shit.  You know, what with smartphones existing and all.  Plausible!

Furthermore, I have become convinced that everyone in this writer's room genuinely believes there is nothing scarier than a bunch of random antagonists standing around in a room pontificating at each other.  It's all demons do anymore. It's all angels do anymore.  Oh, fucking look, here's a bunch of goddamn ghosts doing it, too!  A fucking thrill a minute, I tell you.

Also, you know how the episode with H.H. Holmes was actually scary?  Whether or not you think it's in questionable taste for them to use real life serial killers at all, the reason they included him was because the whole murder castle deal and semi-mythical legends about him made for a scary premise they actually used in the episode.  I ignored the thing with it being Gacy before in Lebanon because there was more important stuff going on, but contrast the current writers' choices with him and this Jack the Ripper guy with the use of Holmes.  Here they're just throwing out the names of real life murderers to try and make their villains scary in the cheapest, fastest way possible.  Just like bringing back “Bloody Mary” that just kills whoever, this loudmouthed windbag has nothing to do with the name they're stealing to try and make him scary.

Also, the spell demon guy did is keeping the ghosts in, right?  Sure, it's going to fail, but at the moment, it's supposed to be an impassible barrier, yes?  So why, exactly, is it necessary for Sam to call in his goon squad to join the four of them in wandering into the danger zone to shoot at 'em? Seriously, why?  Shooting them dissipates them for a few seconds, maybe minutes.  They’re not laying out additional salt or iron lines or doing anything that might genuinely help contain the ghosts, they’re just putting themselves in danger because ...?  The mooks could also be better spent guarding the major entrance points to the town and/or the townies and/or doing research back at the bunker into what they're going to try next after the barrier fails.  But those things would actually make sense and prevent the shambling zombie that is the writers’ pathetic attempt at a plot in this episode being pushed into something vaguely resembling action. 

I am shocked, SHOCKED I tell you, that Rowena is now suddenly unable to do something with her powers that she did before.  Hey, remember when she stole that page out of the damned book to make herself more powerful to unseal her full powers (even though they touted her as the most powerful witch ever to begin with) and that was in season 13, well after the ghost-crystal-bomb thing?  But LOL, now she's even weaker?  This is exactly why nothing matters anymore.  Things that worked previously (angel powers, witch powers, the Colt, whatever) suddenly and randomly don't work to do the exact same jobs for … reasons.  The thing that makes it even dumber is they could have said that the ghost containing spell and crystal ghost sucking spell interfered with each other somehow.  Still at a bullshit level of convenience, but it doesn't involve making everyone and everything's powers completely arbitrary just because fuck continuity, that’s why!

Then Ketch shows up to save the Winchesters from their sudden attack of brain damage.  The show has provided an entire. fucking. town. full of angry ghosts straight from hell.  But actually bother to write a scene of Sam and Dean legit getting over their heads in a believable way?  Why fucking bother when you can just make them astoundingly incompetent.  It is literally unbelievable that Sam and Dean would not recognize those people as possessed fucking immediately.  Yet they stand there with rock salt filled shotguns doing sweet fuckall confronted by three fucking ghosts so Ketch can make a big entrance.  Is there a rule on a board somewhere in the writer's room that Sam and Dean have to be made to look incompetent at least once an episode?  Is this some kind of revenge for having to still write the main characters they're so clearly bored with?  Are these idiots just so fucking stupid they don't realize how insulting this is?  Did they run out of money for extras and the stunt coordinator?  

Also, someone explain to me how tiny flakes of metal are going to be less harmful to a human body than rock salt.  I'll wait.  They just really really wanted Ketch as one of the BMoL guys to have some kind of specialized gadget but couldn’t give him something actually potentially useful for the situation at hand.

Again, these writers really want to be writing a bad soap opera with occasional supernatural elements.  So despite that it's the final fucking season, we have time for Rowena and Ketch flirting.  Not to mention that they also give the only major female character even more relationship drama with the Jack the Ripper guy later.  If it's not questionably skeevy, it's not Bucklemming! 

Also, Castiel is not good at inspirational speeches, just like he’s frustratingly almost never good at anything else these days (those healing powers that were working last week? ha! forget it!).  Anyway, why do they keep having him make them?  Are we as the audience supposed to find them convincing though they never work on the target?  Are we supposed to feel bad for all the ~*feelings*~ Castiel supposedly has despite being an angel who isn’t supposed to have emotions the same way humans do?  I guess this particular one is to further show that Dean’s still mad (which I am absolutely 100% behind) but eh, whatever.  Though I guess that still ranks it above most of the episode sitting at a solid WTF, no really, WTF?!

Now we get to the part where they bring Kevin back for no fucking reason beyond that he's a “fan favorite”.  None of it makes a single tiny speck of sense.  Let's skip right past the fundamental absurdity of how Chuck apparently did this for literally no reason just to be a dick when he was actively trying to pretend not to be a dick.  Kevin has a “bad boy” reputation (come the fuck on) because God Himself cast him down - so him being in hell would have to be fairly common knowledge, for it to result in him having a reputation.  Except literally no demon Sam & Dean ran into between 11.21 and now taunted them with it?  Crowley, who was still alive and fucking King of Hell through season 12 never noticed and either told the Winchesters or tried to trade on it?  BULL and SHIT.  This is pretty close to the same scale of insult to continuity and the audience’s intelligence as these two fuckwits suddenly writing Lucifer as the older brother. 

Then in typical fashion, Sam & Dean discuss their plans to totes send Kevin to heaven in front of demon guy just so they can be told OH NOES!  He totally can't go to heaven!  So sad!  The poor widdle woobie!  Fuck off with this shit, show.  Not even to mention that they take the word of a demon as gospel truth when there is no time crunch or clear lack of better options.  It's all those many many hits to the head, I guess.  That I do actually find quite sad.  I mean, I don't actually want Kevin hanging around like a bad smell while they divert from actually important shit to try and get him to heaven where it makes no sense for him not to already be.  But at the end they don't even arrange some way to keep in touch just in case the fucking demon might be (gasp) lying?

Hey, I did actually like the exchange between Dean and Sam over Chuck poking his corresponding wound.  Oh, look, it's Sam's “I'm totally lying” face, followed by Dean's “I totally know you're lying but I'll let it go for now, Sam” face.  It was a great moment that required very little dialogue to work quite well.  It's such a shame nobody's making a show about these two characters!  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The absurdity keeps on coming, too.  In the whole two days they've been wasting time in Sunshine Daylightville they never discussed how long the spell would last?  Oh, right, they were too busy wandering into the ghost zone to shoot at 'em for shits and giggles to care about that, I guess.  Not to mention the whole “just cast it again!” is remarkably blasé about it requiring a 'fresher the better!' human heart.

More ghosts blathering at each other.  Yay.  This supposed Jack the Ripper guy is just always in the right place at the right time to hear all the gossip, knows every random thing he could possibly need to, and already has the power to intimidate and attack other ghosts. He's basically ghost!Asmodeus, who also steals AU!Michael's original idea of how to get through the barrier, because we really needed time spent discussing the world's most obvious plan.  Also, we've seen ghosts able to attack and absorb the power of other ghosts, but it was because they had already been doing it for a while.  This guy is just as fresh out of hell as everybody else, but he's more powerful and knowledgeable and totes threatening!!!  Well, I'm convinced and not on the verge of napping from boredom.

Naturally for reasons, Rowena goes into town entirely by herself without protection with their only real hope of containing the ghosts before the barrier breaks down instead of anybody insisting on her going with backup.  That's what anybody with a brain would do!  

Of course no one asks where Ketch has been the whole time.  Or even thinks of trying to test him after he was last seen literally knocked unconscious in the middle of ghost central where we know there are plenty of ghosts angry enough to be capable of possession.  Nope, why would anyone even think to do that?  Everything in this “plot” that happens requires all of the characters to be completely fucking stupid.

I'm going to assume by “you” Ketch meant “you Winchesters” because Mary wasn't there.  It probably didn't, because Bucklemming, but fuck it.  It's the least egregious stupidity in this episode that's a cornucopia of choices for the worst.

I … actually like the scenes with Chuck and Amara?  So, you know, that's something!  

Then the episode ends with the guys looking at all the ghosties still shooting up from hell and wring their hands about what they're going to do and maybe they should get on that!  Again, if Sam's flunkies aren't all dead, why aren't their worthless asses already researching this shit over the past two days?  It's not like it's new news that there was a big open hole to hell at the center of the problem and there was honestly nothing but wrangling some cranky civilians to interfere with trying to think ahead to that.

In summary, this episode is a constant showcase of the problems that result when you set incompetent morons who don't recognize their own inadequacy to write characters who are actually supposed to be intelligent experts at their work.  It's a joke – except not at all funny.

[jimintomystery]

Crisis on Infinite Earths

What with the TV crossover going on, I found I couldn’t remember much about the original Crisis on Infinite Earths comics and decided to re-read them.  There’s a certain mystique about Crisis, partly because it was so unprecedented at the time, and partly because it is only referenced indirectly in most DC comics that came after it.  I’d like to do my part to clarify the enigma.

First of all, Crisis is commonly described as if its primary purpose was to “clean up” discontinuities that had accumulated in the DC canon.  I think this is a very poor summary of the story.  It makes it sound like the point is to identify and address why, for example, Superboy met Atlanteans and Martians who were nothing like Aquaman and J’onn J’onnz.  Since Crisis destroys and recreates reality, it happens to be a macguffin for declaring that those contradictory stories just don’t count.  But the story isn’t about that.

Crisis on Infinite Earths was designed to be the ultimate edition of DC’s multiverse team-ups featuring the Justice League and Justice Society (“Crisis on Earth-1,” “Crisis on Earth-3,” etc.).  To that end, the series attempts to cram in appearances by every possible hero, villain, and supporting character in DC’s multiverse.  But more to the point, to be the ultimate "crisis”, the plot brings an end to the multiverse itself, consolidating it into a single universe.  The tone of the story is less “gosh, I sure am glad we got rid of those continuity errors” and more “oh crap, this guy destroyed thousands of universes, so he’s incomprehensibly powerful, and we’re next.”

Unfortunately, Crisis on Infinite Earths the story doesn’t live up to the hype of Crisis on Infinite Earths the event.

At this point I want to summarize the plot of the series, because I so rarely see people actually do that.  They get so bogged down in the real-world editorial motivations for doing the story, or the scope and how confusing it is, or the consequences to later continuity.  Crisis itself doesn’t explain what’s going on until issue 7 (of 12).  But I think it’s not actually that hard to encapsulate the story, so here goes:

Eons ago, the Oan scientist Krona conducted an experiment to peer back in time to the creation of the universe, defying warnings of disaster if he attempted it.  The resulting chaos divided the universe into an antimatter universe and a variety of positive-matter universes.  It also created two “Monitors”--an evil one on the antimatter universe world of Qward, and a good one on a moon of Oa.  The Anti-Monitor attacked the multiverse, but his counterpart kept him in check until they both collapsed from exhaustion.  Recently, another scientist (later known as “Pariah”) attempted the same experiment as Krona, destroying his universe and thereby expanding the Anti-Monitor’s domain.  This awakened the Anti-Monitor and showed him how he could destroy the multiverse, one universe at a time.

Crisis begins with the Monitor launching a byzantine response to his enemy’s new assault.  He summons characters from various realities and timeframes to protect giant machines.  The Anti-Monitor subverts Harbinger long enough to kill the Monitor, but Monitor saw that coming.  Upon his death, the Monitor releases enough energy to power his machines, which place the universes of Earth-1 and Earth-2 in a “netherverse” beyond Anti-Monitor’s reach.  He also leaves instructions for how his allies can similarly rescue Earth-4, Earth-S, and Earth-X.

The heroes team up to storm Anti-Monitor’s base and beat him up, forcing him to retreat to Qward.  (Supergirl is killed in this battle.)  While the heroes deal with the odd intermingling of the surviving five worlds, the Anti-Monitor regroups at Qward, but the Flash (Barry Allen, whom he’d taken prisoner) sacrifices himself to destroy some antimatter superweapon.  During this lull in the fighting, the supervillains try to stage a coup, forcing the heroes to fight back.  The Spectre intervenes to warn everyone that the Anti-Monitor has relocated to the dawn of time to prevent the positive-matter universes from ever existing. 

The heroes go back in time to stop Anti-Monitor, while the villains go back to prevent Krona’s experiment from happening.  The heroes succeed, but the villains fail, and the resulting stalemate restarts reality in a way neither side anticipated.  Now there has always been just one positive universe, based on elements of the five that were saved, and one antimatter universe.  Only those present at the dawn of time remember the multiverse existed, and a few of them find they never existed in the new timeline.  (I should note that the actual big continuity changes associated with this event, like the John Byrne Superman reboot, aren’t actually in effect yet in this “post-Crisis universe,” which ultimately creates more continuity errors than were resolved.)

The Anti-Monitor is pissed and sends his shadow demons in a final offensive against “New Earth.”  The most powerful heroes go to Qward and (with an assist from Darkseid) destroy him once and for all.  More heroes die, and the “I never existed” characters that survived get sent to heaven, more or less.  It is implied that everyone will gradually forget the multiverse, and therefore also forget most of the specifics of this crisis.

Now, that took about 500 words, which may seem excessive.  But I wrote all that to help illustrate that the core plot would not be super-complicated when separated from the dozens of irrelevant interludes that pad out the story.  Crisis on Infinite Earths seems daunting because it encompasses the entire breadth of the Bronze Age DC multiverse, but it fails to justify doing that.  Like, there’s a scene with John Constantine and Mento that suggests John is important (because he’s the one guy that’s sure everything will be fine), but it’s never brought up again.  And before you say “well, you’re supposed to read the Swamp Thing tie-in issues for more!” you’d better damn well have as slick an answer for the Balloon Buster scene, or the stupid detective convention.

Cut out the unnecessary appearances by irrelevant characters, and Crisis would still be hampered by the structure of the story.  The first five issues are bogged down by characters not knowing what’s going on, and Monitor refusing to explain because there’s no time, and Monitor’s plans collapsing because his recruits don’t really understand their assignments.  We don’t learn who the bad guy is or what he wants for almost half the story, and then he turns out to be a fairly generic bad guy that wants to kill everybody simply because that’d be an evil thing to do.  So there’s not really that much to do in the second half except bemoan the senseless destruction in between rounds of punching the bad guy.

None of that detracts from the importance of Crisis as a milestone in comics history.  Stories like this set the tone for company-wide crossovers ever since.  We have the big crowd shots of way too many heroes being briefed because of Crisis.  We have cosmic threats too big to punch, and street-level heroes standing around realizing they can’t help, because of Crisis.  Giant events like this always have a million tie-ins you really don’t have to read, and one tie-in you absolutely have to read for the story to make sense, because of Crisis.  For better or worse, this story changed everything.  But as reading material, it leaves a lot to be desired.

[comicsnsuch]

Tales from the Dark Multiverse

Hi! Thanks for finding this tumblr. The plan is to share and write about comic books, comic book art, other things that interest me and such, thus the name of the tumblr. Maybe you share some of the same interests, or maybe you’ll discover something new.

I’m going to try to post as frequently as possible, but that frequency will vary depending on what real life is like week to week. On slow weeks, there will be more stuff, on busy weeks less.  You get it.  Hopefully if you check in now and then you’ll find some new content.

I work (worked?) in a comic book shop, but as I have been recently reminded, due to the COVID-19/Coronavirus epidemic, I am non-essential.  Thanks State Government! Always good to have a self esteem boost! 

Anyway… I love comic books, reading them, talking about them, (thinking about) making them and so on. Always have, always will. I wanted to have an outlet for sharing that while I can’t be in the shop doing it face to face with customers and random strangers. 

I’ll be writing short reviews for what I’ve been reading, new stuff, old stuff, posting pics, etc.  

 Feel free to comment, but please keep it friendly. Assholery will not be tolerated.

To start with I just finished reading all of DC Comics Tales of the Dark Multiverse one shots. 

                                     I made this in MS Paint!

These started coming out in 2019 and the last one was released in early 2020. The idea behind each is Tempus Fuginaut, a sort of Watcher type character for the DCU (who I think debuted, or at least I fist remember seeing in the Sideways ongoing, a Dark Nights Metal spin off) observing the multiverse and introducing a story that takes an important moment in DC history and asks “what would have happened if things had gone differently?” DC’s version of What If?  in a nutshell.

       That’s Tempus Fuginauts big ol’ head in case you were wondering

 As the “Dark” in Tales of the Dark Multiverse might imply, these are not happy stories.

The first one shot that was released was Tales of the Dark Multiverse Batman Knightfall by Scott Snyder and Kyle Higgens with art by Javi Fernandez.  

This was probably my least favorite of the five issues. Since the “No Justice” mini series event I’m over Scott Snyder. I feel he has so many ideas rattling around in his head that he begins one story, gets too excited about the next one and leaves you underwhelmed with the current arc but dying to read the next. (That being said I of course checked out Batman Last Knight on Earth, having read his and Capullo’s entire New 52 Batman run I didn’t want to miss their “final” word on Batman, but have not read his just wrapped run on Justice League which I hear was quite good). 

I read this one right when it was released a few months ago, so my memory of it might not be the best.  

This one centers around the Knightfall event where Bane breaks Batman’s back and Jean Paul Valley/Azrael takes on the role of Batman. In this reality Bruce never recovers and Jean Paul remains Batman becoming Saint Batman, a Bats Azrael mash up. Javi Fernandez does a great job on the art and Snyder loves chopping people up. 

                                                      Gross.

Definitely worth the read if you’re interested in it or are a fan of Batman or just the Knightfall era. If you grab this series in collected format it’s not so bad that I recommend skipping it, just not my favorite from this batch of books. 

Next up is Tales of the Dark Multiverse Death of Superman by Jeff Loveness with art by Brad Walker and Andrew Hennessey. I really enjoyed this one, it was a good quick read and had a nice arc to it. One of the better issues from this series if you’re asking me.

Right after Superman dies defeating Doomsday in the Death of Superman story arc, the rest of the Justice League shows up, literally as the blood is drying.Ten seconds too late. Lois Lane blames Supes’ death on the heroes for not being there to aid him. 

She makes her way to the Fortress of Solitude and thanks to the Eradicator gets herself all the powers of Superman. She then goes about dishing out justice, with extreme prejudice, to the villains the heroes normally let the revolving doors of the DC justice system handle. This involves a couple of great scenes with Batman and Lex Luthor. Loveness nails the dialogue and the character arc he puts Lois on is great to read. 

                                  Walker and Hennesey do it again!

There’s more to this story than I’ve put here, but I don’t want to say too much and ruin your enjoyment of it if/when you read it.

Special shout out to the art team of Brad Walker and Andrew Hennessey. I feel like they don’t get enough love. They killed it on the Demon Hell is Earth mini, and from what I can tell are crushing it on Detective Comics. Dudes can draw. Spread the word!

Then we move onto Tales of the Dark Multiverse Blackest Night by Tim Seeley and Kyle Hotz. 

This one was a bit wordy, but a lot of fun! I would put this one in the middle of the pack. 

Seeley brings together an interesting bunch of characters including Sinestro, Dove, Lobo and the New Gods! The plot is a little complex, but basically after the Color Corps lose the battle against Nekron in Blackest Night, Sinestro is looking for a way to undo the damage done and becomes a pawn in Scott Free’s plot to do the same. 

Give Seeley a Lobo book or a Hawk and Dove book, or a Mister Miracle book!. He gives each character a unique voice which makes their joint travels through the plot that much more fun to read.

Kyle Hotz’s  art in this issue reminds of a 90’s Image Comic in the best possible way. Lots of detail and cool poses. I also see a lot of Bernie Wrightson in there with Hotz’s heavy use of black and the sinewy musculature of the characters. The book is worth the price of admission to see his renditions of Dove and Mister Miracle. 

                                                          kewl!

 I’m glad to see Hotz working more or just seeing more of Hotz’s work. I don’t know if he fell out of the industry after drawing the original The Hood mini for Marvel with Brian K. Vaughan, working with Eric “The Goon” Powell on Billy the Kid’s Old Timey Odditys, doing art on Carnage Mind Bomb and more I’m sure ( I just can’t remember it all), or I just wasn’t paying attention to what he was working on. If it’s the later, shame on me, if it’s the former, welcome back Mr. Hotz, you’re crushing it and I look forward to seeing more from you. Check out more Kyle Hotz work by following him on Instagram @kylehotzcomics.

Let’s not neglect the oft overlooked inkers! I’m not sure who inked what, but on a guess, Dexter Vines and Walden Wong brought a smooth, cleanness to the proceedings with lots of nicely tapered lines. Again just guessing here, because I don’t know for sure, but Danny Miki used a finer line bringing a scratchy-ness the others didn’t but also amazing detail and clarity on some of the portraiture in the later half of the book. 

Who’s next? Why it’s Tales of the Dark Multiverse Infinite Crisis!

This one may have been my favorite. When the original Infinite Crisis series came out it was a period  where, due to personal lack of enjoyment, I wasn’t reading much of DC’s output, but I did read the Countdown to Infinite Crisis one shot this issue takes as it’s jumping off point. After having read this issue, it makes me want to go back and read Infinite Crisis. I would say that’s the sign of a good issue.

In this alternate reality Blue Beetle, Ted Kord, kills Maxwell Lord instead of vice versa, making himself the head of Checkmate. He then goes about trying to prevent the coming crisis. It’s kind of a tale about absolute power corrupting absolutely, it’s also an underdog tale about getting in over your head.

                Sorry if these images aren’t the best, I’m new at this!

James Tynion IV does a great job catching you up on any old DC continuity plot points you may have forgotten or never knew about in the first place.If you’re reading Tynion’s current run on Batman, or his work on Detective Comics and Justice League Dark, you know he can handle a complex plot like this and does a great job condensing it all down to a single issue.  Aaron Lopresti and Matt Ryan handle the art and they do a great job. Always happy to see Lopresti’s name on a book I want to read.

Bonus points: You can never have too many Ted Kord, Blue Beetle comics, especially when Booster Gold pops up, even if only momentarily. 

If this series leaves you wanting more Blue and Gold action may I direct you to Booster Gold (2nd series) #32 thru about 38ish for some quality comics.

Final one, Tales from the Dark Multiverse the Judas Contract!

I’m not as old as my writing may imply so I had to read the Judas Contract in collected format about 20 years after it was originally released and after having seen it on many a fanzine’s (Wizard) best of list.  When I finally got to read it I wasn’t super familiar with the Titans of the era and already knew the big twist in the story, so it just washed over me without any great effect. None of the shock that someone who was reading it fresh in the 80’s might have experienced. 

I ended up liking this twisted take on the Judas Contract much more than when I read the original. “Sacrilege!” I know, I know, but like I said there was no surprise when I first read it, while this one zigged instead of zagging multiple times and kept upping the ante in scale. 

Kyle Higgins and Matt Groom do a great job reinventing a classic that I’m sure many people had high expectations for. This was a fun faced paced tale.  I enjoyed the hero moments Dick Grayson and Wally West were given. Like the Knightfall one shot Higgins co-wrote with Snyder there’s no shortage of dismemberment and disfiguration, which is neither a plus or minus in this situation, just thought it was worth noting.

Tom Raney handles the art chores here and he does a fine job.  Some of the figures seem a little squat, and their heads are too big in certain panels. Could I do better? No, so who am I to say anything? I just noticed it, here and there, it took me out of the flow of the story every now and then. That’s all. Big fan of his work on Stormwatch and Outsiders with Judd Winick. I also hear he’s super nice, so if you’re ever at a convention where Tom Raney is, seek him out! 

                                      They seem squat, right?

It’s worth mentioning these books are all done in DC’s prestige format and are extra long at about 48 pages each. All covers are by the fantastic Lee Weeks. A nice way to spend the afternoon.

There’s the first post. A little longer than I thought it would be. If you made it this far, I hope it was clear and you understood what I was saying and I hope you liked it and want to return for more. 

Until next time!

[callunavulgari]

YEAR-IN-BOOKS | 2019

So. Last year I read 89 books. The year before that I read 39. The year before that I read 23. This year I have (thus far) read 110 books out of my goal of 100 and will likely finish both The Secret Commonwealth and The Library of the Unwritten before the end of the year. I may even finish another depending on which audiobook I go for next. So I’m gonna talk a lot. Again.

1. a book you loved?

Again, I read a lot of books this year. It was a great year for books. I discovered Brandon Sanderson, which has been amazing. I reread at least two different favorite series, some graphic novels, a few books that would ordinarily be outside of my typical genre. But I’m going to pick Red, White, & Royal Blue, which was probably the one I loved the most. Casey McQuiston, for those of you who weren’t in The Social Network fandom, wrote a really fantastic RPF in like 2011 or so. It was gorgeous and while I’m sad that it was never finished, I can still appreciate the crap out of it. RWARB is a story about the son of America’s first female president falling for the Prince of Wales. It is everything I loved about fics like The Student Prince and Drastically Redefining Protocol and more. It’s best universe 100% and I will probably be rereading it within the next few months because I loved it to pieces. Also, it won both best romance and best debut novel on goodreads by a pretty large margin, which is amazing! 

2. a book you hated?

I think the only book that I absolutely hated this year was The Gunslinger. Which sucks because a lot of people recommended that one pretty highly, but I either reluctantly enjoy Stephen King’s books or I outright loathe them. My review, directly from goodreads, with a rare one star rating:  

“Thing number 1: same guy who did the audiobook recording for The Stand did this one as well. Bad enough. Thing number 2: I forgot how badly Stephen King writes women. I got to listen to this narrator read a scene where a woman has an orgasm because the main character is exorcising a lust demon out of her by shoving a gun into her unmentionables, and then I got to hear someone described as "falling whorishly." DNF at 75%. Sorry. I just could not do it. Falling whorishly was the straw that broke the camel's back.”

3. a book that made you cry?

I definitely cried when I finished The Hero of Ages, which is the third of the original Mistborn trilogy by Sanderson. Without spoiling things... I was definitely crying by the end of it. Might have been crying at the end of the first in the series too. The only other ones I can think of that may have made me sniffle are Everything I Never Told You and To Be Taught, If Fortunate. 

The first because it’s a wonderfully crafted little tale about a family getting torn apart when their daughter dies tragically. The whole thing is pulled wonderfully taut with tension, and each of the character’s snippets into Lydia’s life before her death leads you to more and more discoveries until finally everything comes together seamlessly in the end.

The second because it is a little, little book about a big, big universe and is just so achingly beautiful and big inside that it hurts.

4. a book that made you happy?

I mean, I’m tempted to Red, White, and Royal Blue again because it is 100% the one that made me happiest. I was grinning like an idiot half the time I was reading it. But, because answering the same book for two questions seems cheap when I’ve read over 100, so I’m gonna go with King of Scars, which is the sequel to the sequel of the original Grisha trilogy by Leigh Bardugo. It took the best things about the original series and combined it with the best parts of Six of Crows and left me with a super riveting, fun read.

5. the best sequel?

Gah, I read so many series this year, so this is kind of hard. I have two answers!

The Well of Ascension, which was the second of the Mistborn novels and probably my favorite and The Lady’s Guide to Petticoats and Piracy, which in my humble opinion was leagues better than The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue. Not that it was bad, I’m just starved for stories about smart sexy ladies who become pirates and flirt with other pretty pirate ladies.

6. most anticipated release for the new year?

Return of the Thief by Megan Whalen Turner is still my answer to this one. The release date got pushed back to August of next year instead of March of this one, so provided it doesn’t get pushed back again - that is 100% my answer. Some others I’m excited about: The Nobleman’s Guide to Scandal and Shipwrecks, which I found out about two minutes ago, the as yet untitled Stormlight Archive #4 which is apparently coming out in November next year, and like six books that don’t have release dates yet so probably won’t come out until 2021. Oh, oh, oh, and The King of Crows, the fourth in The Diviners series, which I forgot was coming out in February!

7. favorite new author?

Easily Brandon Sanderson. Most of my other favorites that I really loved were all authors I’ve read before. Sanderson was my Rothfuss of 2019. Discovering his books changed my whole damn year.

8. favorite book to film adaptation?

I didn’t reread the series this year, but HBO put out their adaptation of His Dark Materials and it has been absolutely amazing so far! I’m blown away by every single episode and can only hope that the second and third seasons will be this good.

9. the most surprising book?

Okay, so there’s this book that I picked up randomly at the library because I liked its cover. It’s called The Hundred-Foot Journey by Richard Morais and it’s about an Indian boy who grows up to become a world famous chef. It’s so, so rich. The detail is wonderful. You can taste the food, feel the sun, be a stranger in a market somewhere in France. It was a true delight of a book and definitely one of my favorites. 

10. the most interesting villain?

I read Codename Villanelle shortly after I got into the TV show, and it was actually a surprisingly good book. She’s a great villain. However, I also read Forest of a Thousand Lanterns, which you don’t even realize is about the evil queen until you’re like halfway through the book. That one was really, really well done and I need to get around to reading its sequel.

11. the best makeouts?

I’m tempted to say Chilling Effect because there’s just something about a sassy space pirate making out with her alien crew member whose skin can make her go into anaphylactic  shock that really appeals to the part of me that shipped Sheppard/Garrus from Mass Effect, but there were two really steamy ones in The Hating Game (elevators) and Ninth House (slightly dubcon-y bit because one character is drugged, but super searing anyway?). 

Also the bit in Red, White and Royal Blue where they make out against a painting of Hamilton in the White House will probably get me every time.

12. a book that was super frustrating?

Again, But Better was a pretty decent book over all. But there were slightly too many pop culture references and listening to an audiobook where the characters are signing along to Blink 182 along with several other songs was a little cringey because the narrator did not actually sing, just kind of singsongy shouted. It was weird.

The Alchemist was also really slow going for such a short book but was over all pretty good.

13. a book you texted about, and the text was IN CAPSLOCK?

I have no real life friends who really read and it is fucking tragic, so the closest I got was recommending a bunch of books to my mom and going off on tangents about how good they were. I think I might have ranted to Nick about a couple of them too.

14. a book for the small children in your life?

I reread The Bartimaeus trilogy again this year and it’s a kid’s book series that I would recommend to literally anybody because it might be my favorite series ever? I also read Lockwood & Co, a kid’s series by the same author who did Bartimaeus, which was fantastic because I didn’t even know he’d written anything since Bartimaeus? It didn’t quite compare, mostly because I adore Bartimaeus way too much, but was still highly entertaining. Spooky kid detectives hunt ghosts! 

15. a book you learned from?

While I did not read a single non-fiction book this year (again, whoops), a lot of books are informative even if they’re fiction. Hell, I learned more about cooking from The Hundred Foot Journey than I have in any cookbook out there.

16. a book you wouldn’t normally try?

Maybe Challenger Deep? I’ve been branching out more, so it’s getting harder and harder to tell which books I wouldn’t normally try. I did read like three exclusively romance novels this year, which was a bit odd for me.

17. a book with something magical in it?

I still say all books are magical. And definitely a lot of the books I read were magical, but probably the one with the most magic was The Starless Sea by Erin Morgenstern, which was a meticulously crafted love letter to all stories and fairy tales. It was really magical and definitely lived up to The Night Circus. If she keeps up like this, I won’t even mind the decade between publications, because she has a hell of a way with words.

18. the best clothes?

Maybe either The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo (the descriptions of her gorgeous silky green dresses made me deeply envious) or Three Dark Crowns (which had neat food and clothes from what I remember)

19. the most well-rounded characters?

All of Sanderson’s stuff has great characters, but Everything I Never Told You is still probably the one with the best. Celeste Ng is really, really good at making you feel each of her characters down to their marrow.

20. the best world-building?

To Be Taught, If Fortunate was very much wow when it comes to the world building. But so was Ninth Gate and The Alloy Era of the Mistborn novels (sequel series to the original series that takes place hundreds of years after the first series). I also read Saga this year, a graphic novel series about a man and his wife on the run from their governments with their baby daughter because their species are in a long standing war and nobody wants anybody to know that they can procreate. That has some fantastic world building.

21. the worst world-building?

Maybe What If It’s Us? I found that one largely boring.

22. a book with a good sidekick?

Definitely any of the Alloy of Law books. Wayne is a wonderful sidekick and all of the other “side characters” in that series are fantastic.

23. the most insufferable narrator?

Ugh, the Gunslinger. Both the character in the book and the person who narrated the audiobook.

24. a book you were excited to read for months beforehand?

I think the only ones I was really excited for head of time were the two Folk of Air sequels by Holly Black and The Starless Sea. I still need to read Call Down the Hawk, and I’m currently reading The Secret Commonwealth, the sequel to His Dark Materials which I’ve been excited about since I learned that it would be a thing.

25. a book you picked up on a whim?

You already know about The Hundred Foot Journey. We Are Where the Nightmares Go and The Monster of Elendhaven were also both randoms that I picked up during the Halloween season that I really enjoyed.

26. a book that should be read in a foreign country?

The Hundred Foot Journey. 100%

27. a book cassian andor would like?

I still don’t know what to make of this question.

28. a book gina linetti would like?

Probably any of the steamy ones? I honestly don’t know.

29. your favorite cover art?

Probably The Ten Thousand Doors of January. It’s very pretty and flowery and the book itself is fantastic. I also really like the cover of David Mogo, Godhunter.

30. a book you read in translation?

I think The Alchemist was the only book I read that was translated from another language.

31. a book from another century?

Ha! North and South was first published in 1854. Other than that the oldest ones I’ve got were written in the 80s (Shards of Honor, Ender’s Game, and The Alchemist) or the 50s (The Two Towers).

32. a book you reread?

This year I reread the Bartimaeus Trilogy, the Temeraire novels (and then finished the last two I hadn’t read yet), Sabriel, and The King of Attolia.

33. a book you’re dying to talk about, and why?

I have clearly talked enough at this point. I think the only one that I loved that I didn’t get a chance to talk about already was Horrorstor, which is a book about haunted Ikea (basically). It’s fantastic and hilarious and spooky and now that I think about it Gina Linetti would probably like it. Oh, and The Bear and the Nightingale trilogy, which was a retelling of an old Russian tale. It was great. 

TLDR; Read Sanderson’s books, Leigh Bardugo’s books, and whatever Casey McQuiston writes for the next 30 years.

[bibliophileiz]

Charmed mid-season premiere notes

- Macy and Galvin are cutie patooties! I think where this show is handling the feminist stuff really well is with Galvin because wherein the original Charmed, Andy is like, "witches?! Get in the kitchen, Samantha, I want a white picket fence when I come home from my dangerous and manly job" Galvin is just like "You're a witch and it's awesome and one day we'll have sex and in the meantime we'll sneak into our demon boss's office and steal genetic data while having way too much fun and being way too cute." Galvin is what my college roommate would call a "nice boy".

- (This is not to be snarky about Andy and Prue, who I liked as a couple and Andy is supportive of her witchy extracurriculars, he just doesn't want to be married to them which is fine. But Galvin is a refreshing update -- a perfectly nice ordinary dude who is totally supportive of and not threatened by his witchy girlfriend.)

- (And in the interest of fairness that was Henry in the original Charmed, who frankly deserved more than half a season of character development.)

- The point is I love Macy and Galvin.

- On the total opposite end, Maggie and Parker are the most boring thing to ever exist. Parker is just a cardboard cutout of a slack-jawed white boy and I think all his lines are delivered by a monotone English teacher hiding behind him. Maggie is a little better, but I think she would be a lot better if she had an actual human actor to work with.

- in fact their last scene was so boring that I started paying attention to my phone instead of the episode and COMPLETELY MISSED THE TRANSITION WHERE MEL AND JADA MADE OUT. Imma have to watch the episode over again now.

- And while I'm talking about couples, my verdict on Harry and Charity is that it's a good thing the actors have chemistry because their plot makes. No. Sense.

- So...White lighters can't have their memories from their lives, which I guess makes sense because it might distract you from aiding witches if you kept dropping in in your old family to see what they're up to or whatever. (Honestly I'm surprised there wasn't more of that in the original Charmed.) But

- How come the Elders can't look at said memories?

- And if elders have these memories that no one is allowed to look at, then how did Tartarus demons get them to use to torture Harry?

- Like. Did the demons raid the elders' stash of white lighter memories? Do they have the memories of every single white lighter? If so, what are they planning to do with them?

- And I not, are you really trying to tell me that they just HAPPENED to have Harry's memories on the OFF CHANCE he would be accidentally sucked into a hell prison designed to hold dangerous demons to be tortured by memories he doesn't even have anymore for all eternity???

- Or maybe you'll say the magic Tartarus scorpions just have the power to find memories, even hidden ones, and that it has nothing to do with what the demons may or may not have stolen from the Elders. But

- why were the scorpion memories apparently wrong then? Because the scorpions and Charity told Harry the same story but with different endings -- the scorpions that Harry got his son killed and Charity that Harry saves his son -- so do the scorpions have the power to change memories to make them worse? Because they didn't change Maggie's....

- I just have a lot of questions and I don't trust these writers to answer them in a way that follows logic.

- Also I'm confused about the random paternity questions. Who is who's father and also why do we care since none of these women -- with the occasional exception of Maggie, whose personality changes from episode to episode anyway -- seem to like their dads that much. I actually kind of thought they all three had different dads anyway.

- Alistair Caine is a cool-ass villain.

- I still think Jada's witch group will turn out to be bad, but Jada will probably end up joining with the Charmed Ones anyway like Cole from the original.

- Seriously guys, parker is soooooooo borinnnnngggg. And I was such a big fan of Cole in the original

- I guess they're trying to make it more feminist by not having the bad boy be attractive or by having the bad boy be extra introverted and sensitive or something?? but more feminist should not equal more boring.

- I feel like maybe they wrote Parker's role planning to hire Alex Calvert from Supernatural but Alex Calvert has been adopted by Jensen Ackles, Jared Padalecki and Misha Collins who forced their producers to write the exact same plot, except good, and so the Charmed casting director had to find someone who looked like him and found one in a high school video game club and promised him money and assured him he wouldn't have to make eye contact with anyone.

- Anyway I don't like Parker much.

[lanonima]

Here we are again.

Romantic - Fucky is not how risque a work is but rather my opinion of the attitude/quality of the main relationship, the way the characters interact with respect to one another. I like a lot of stuff in fiction but if you’re easily made uncomfortable, stay towards the top half.

Easy reading - Plot-heavy is how I personally consider the plot’s intricacy and successful implementation, regardless of the author’s intention.

Golden Stage

Author: Cang Wu Bin Bai

Quality: 6

Enjoyment: 7

Comments: This one has some Sha Po Lang vibes, but the characters have more depth and chemistry. The word 'more' here is extremely relative because it's still pretty shallow. I honestly liked them both, I liked the relationship and the psuedo-rude way that they flirt entertained me. As for the plot...ehhhh. It tried. There were things that worked, but in general the plot seemed disjointed from the characters and there were a few things that had no business being there and just muddied the waters. It's not bad necessarily, it's just not very smooth. There are better political intrigues to read if that's what you want. But if you just want some sugar-sweet fluff with a backdrop of drama, then this one is perfect. My favorite scene was probably the flashback to the first few times they met, absolutely fantastic.

Would I read it again: Nah.

The reviews of things I previously read are below the cut.

Mo Dao Zu Shi

Author: MXTX

Quality: 9.5

Enjoyment: 10

Comments: I have a huge emotional connection to this novel. There are some weak parts, the tension isn’t quite even, she’s pretty terrible at erotic scenes and not great at fight scenes…but that being said, I love the characters and some of the plot points really ripped my heart out. This is a novel that’s really driven by the characters so if you’re a character-focused person like me, definitely look into it (as if we all don’t already know it lmao). I really, really love this story. Every single adaptation of it has also been great, but the novel is still my favorite. It was my introduction to xianxia novels too, so you can say it changed my life!

Would I read it again: I’ve already read it twice, and consumed every adaptation (sometimes also multiple times)

Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System

Author: MXTX

Quality: 6

Enjoyment: 5

Comments: I’m not much of one for comedy and, as I discovered, not really into system novels either. Clearly weaker than MXTX’s later work, many of the characters are somewhat bland, she hasn’t quite found her groove yet. It’s not my style but the fandom is hilarious and the fans constantly produce content that I actually do find entertaining so overall I still have some fond feelings for this one, even if not for the source material.

Would I read it again: I found a different translation and am willing to try again in the future, I’m also willing to watch the donghua. But I can’t guarantee I’ll like it any more than previously.

Tian Guan Ci Fu

Author: MXTX

Quality: 10

Enjoyment: 10

Comments: I love this book…but not as much as I love Mo Dao Zu Shi. I think the plot is somewhat typical, however the characters are great once again (though maybe slightly less deep than MDZS), and her use of thematic repetition and foreshadowing are killer. Actually, I liked this book more the second time around because it just hits differently. Definitely the best of MXTX’s couples, they are so soft and sweet. Very long, but worth it.

Would I read it again: I already have, was personally translating the manhua before I hurt my arms, and am eagerly awaiting the donghua this fall!

The Villain’s White Lotus Halo

Author: A Big Roll of Toilet Paper

Quality: 10

Enjoyment: 10

Comments: Fuck, I love this one so much…..even though it’s also a system novel. But that part is in it so rarely that it reads more like pure fantasy. I love the characters, I love the plot, I love the way the relationship is developing. Oh yeah, the translation isn’t even complete but I already purchased not only the original from JJWXC but also the print edition. I’ve even drawn fanart for it, which is so unlike me. Every time a chapter comes out, I’m ruined for the rest of the day, I can’t think about anything else. Good fight scenes, which is uncommon. My favorite danmei novel so far.

Would I read it again: I fully intend to once the translation is complete, and also plan to read it in Chinese later (I’ve already read certain parts in Chinese hahaha but not the whole thing)

2Ha (Husky and his White Cat Shizun)

Author: Meatbun Doesn’t Eat Meat

Quality: 8

Enjoyment: 10

Comments: 2Ha is not for the faint of heart, it’s very horny, and violent, and has a lot of questionable content. However I love it so much. The story and characters are great, Meatbun really has me by the heart. The writing is a little more on the casual side but it hardly matters because the story is so great. Good fight scenes. Chu Wanning is like, the ultimate Me™ character, I hate how much I adore him. If you read this, just go into it knowing that it’s a long emotional journey, the characters are very dynamic and there’s a lot of character development.

Would I read it again: Same as the above, I plan a reread when the translation is done and have read parts in Chinese and might read the whole thing again later. Cautiously eager about the up-coming live action and donghua.

Di Wang Gong Lue

Author: Yu Xiao Lanshan

Quality: 2

Enjoyment: 9

Comments: This is one of the most terribly written things I’ve ever read, but I’m a character girl and the characters and ways they interact fucking kill me. I’m constantly entertained….although I don’t think this is actually supposed to be a comedy. If I were going to treat myself and like, take a bubble bath and read something that made me laugh, this is exactly the sort of trashy romance I would want to read. Technically a political intrigue story but it’s so abrupt and full of holes, are any of us reading it for the actual plot? The donghua is on Youtube, I watched it first and recommend others to do the same. If you can handle that, you can handle the book because it’s exactly the same in quality, just gayer. I do love the main couple a lot, the set-up surrounding the relationship is great, and the side characters are also really fun.

Would I read it again: Probably not, but I’m still having fun with it. I watched the donghua and read a bit of the manhua as well, which has very cute art and is probably my favorite version of the story.

Liu Yao

Author: Priest

Quality: 6

Enjoyment: 7.5

Comments: I really struggled getting into this one, it took me about 25 chapters to get invested. Initially I had rated it a 6 in enjoyment but after careful thought, I realized that even though it was so hard for me, it probably is my favorite Priest novel and I really do love the main couple so much. Her side characters also seem to be slightly stronger than usual in this one. Decent plot, not too much or too little. It seems really chill to me, doesn’t provoke much of an emotional reaction but I do think it’s very sweet, which is nice sometimes too.

Would I read it again: No, but I think (?) it’s supposed to get some kind of tv adaptation (drama or donghua, not sure), and if that happens, I’ll watch it.

Didn’t Know the General was Female

Author: Rong Qing

Quality: 4

Enjoyment: 6

Comments: Not the greatest thing I’ve ever read, but cute. It’s short, and a little lesbian fluff is never a bad thing. Writing is a bit weak and the plot is basic, but the characters are enjoyable and I liked it overall.

Would I read it again: No.

Wrong Way to a Demon Sect Leader

Author: Yi Zhi Dayan

Quality: 4

Enjoyment: 7

Comments: Again, not the greatest in writing or plot, it’s a bit shallow. But I found the idea of it to be entertaining, and actually liked it more than I would have assumed. It’s fairly short and cute, like a good summer beach read.

Would I read it again: Probably not, but possibly, if the stars align.

Female General and Eldest Princess

Author: Please Don’t Laugh

Quality: 7

Enjoyment: 6

Comments: A very good first effort, but the writing is a bit weak. It’s slow to start and I don’t think the political plotline is spectacularly strong. Some things were left unexplained, and her sense of battle tactics and fight-writing were very confusing, definitely room for improvement. I don’t think it’s as good as people say, but she writes with the air of someone who will continue to improve. And also, a lesbian author writing lesbian stories so that’s a plus. Overall I enjoyed the experience, this story is definitely worth a read.

Would I read it again: Maybe, but probably not.

Sha Po Lang

Author: Priest

Quality: 7

Enjoyment: 7

Comments: Originally I rated this one higher, but on later thought I realized that I actually enjoyed Liu Yao more. I personally have issues with the way Priest writes, and this book showed a lot of them. Characters were okay, I did like the main couple, but side characters were weak as usual. The plot is pretty good, though not great, and I think some of the pacing is off. Some descriptions were confusing, but that could be a translation issue. Overall, still a pretty good political drama, but I would say that of the three I read, this was the Priest novel with the least impact on me.

Would I read it again: No. But I will watch the live action if it ever gets made.

Guardian

Author: Priest

Quality: 6

Enjoyment: 5

Comments: I love Shen Wei and Zhao Yunlan, thought the plot was interesting, and there were some enjoyable moments. But it has all the problems I usually have with Priest in addition to some choices that offend me as a queer reader. I spent about 75% of the time reading while pissed off. And actually the fact that it had a happy ending kinda bummed me out because I love a good tragedy. Overall, I can only give it an average score. If you like Priest, you’ll like this one too. I’m not a tv person but I binged the hell out of the live action, I really loved it, so I was sort of disappointed that the source material didn’t seem as strong as I had assumed.

Would I read it again: No, but I will happily watch the live action again some day.

Jing Wei Qing Shang

Author: Please Don’t Laugh

Quality: 9.8

Enjoyment: 10

Comments: I have to start off by saying: damn girl. The improvement evident in this book is absolutely insane. A few minor issues prevent me from giving it a 10 out of 10 – her transitions are still extremely abrupt, the ending is slightly weak and some plot points remain unresolved, and her use of narrative repetition is too heavy-handed for my taste. Other than that, this book leaves me almost speechless. Very similar to Female General and Eldest Princess, there are many similar themes and events. But while I thought FGEP was fairly cute, I like this one way better. If you like angst, political intrigue, and lesbians, you should definitely read this book. I have no doubt that Please Don’t Laugh will continue to improve in the future, and I really look forward to following her career.

Would I read it again: 100%, I absolutely intend to read this again sometime in the future. It’s very long and very dense but delightful and ultimately worth it.

Fox Demon Cultivation Manual

Author: Feng Ge Qie Xing

Quality: 8

Enjoyment: 10

Comments: This was a delightful romp. I had expected it to be somewhat silly and was pleasantly surprised. It was heavy enough to be engaging but light enough to be an easy read, with multiple spots that made me literally laugh out loud which does not happen often. This is apparently just one book in a series of same universe novels, and a lighter-hearted one at that. I would be interested to read the others because I found the world pretty engaging, and I do want to know what became of the other characters. Overall I found it very fun and very cute, I read it in four days so that says something. On the downside, the link for chapter 9 is broken. But skipping a chapter doesn’t seem to have affected the experience of the novel as a whole.

Would I read it again: Yeah I think I would be willing to read this again someday. If it gets adapted I would also consume adaptations, in addition to being interested in the other connected works.

[sherlolo-land]

Okay, we’d like to go over some of our favorite parts of this post. Now, we’re not here to tell you that you absolutely have to hate Mary with every fiber of your being, because that’s an opinion for each person to decide on their own. We are just here to talk about why some of the reasoning in this particular post is laughable.

1. Right off the bat, it compares Johnlockers to the obnoxious boy in the scenario raising his voice at someone who disagrees. Lmao. We know what you guys think of Johnlockers. We don’t need to waste time proving that the hate against us is both hypocritical and blown out of proportion. For more info, simply search this blog. It’s just funny how ya’ll can never make any arguments against us without resorting to ad hominem attacks at least once. Or in this case, from the very beginning.

2. Mary’s “unforgivable sins.” The examples you give of us searching for any reasons to demonize her are…. not the best. You picked examples that made it easiest for you to say “See, look how reaching your arguments are!” You basically said we think she’s evil because she playfully teases Sherlock, tries to keep her family safe, and doesn’t reveal her identity right away. I think you know that there are much better examples to argue that Mary is not a good person, but you intentionally didn’t use them. You went for the smallest points in our argument instead and presented it like it was the core of it. To me, this shows that even you see the weakness in your own argument. And regarding Mary’s abandonment, John himself thought it was incredibly selfish of her to run off instead of working things out with him. His words, originally, not ours.

3. Mary’s smile. Now its my turn to call the argument reaching. I’d say, claiming Mary was smiling just so Magnussen wouldn’t have another pressure point on her is one interpretation you could use if you were desperately trying to make her actions in these scene less detestable. If you love Mary and want to think this to make yourself feel better about her, go right ahead. Make it your fanon. But claiming that it’s a cold, hard fact? Nope, nice try. There’s nothing in that scene to suggest that that smile was only for Magnussen. That’s your personal headcanon, and there is a difference between that and canon.

4. “A large number of people claim they hated Mary before His Last Vow…However, if she was disliked before she actually deserved that, what does it say about those fans?” It’s not a crime to dislike a character. Johnlockers are held to this ridiculous standard of not being allowed to speak a single negative word about any character (esp. a woman). Why aren’t other fans held to the same standard? Why is it okay for Sherl0llians (and sometimes Adl0ckers too) to vehemently and openly hate John with everything in their soul? They are never accused of hating someone for getting in the way of their ship or being biased in their opinions. On the flip side, how come no one is making this same argument about ppl who loved Mary? There are people who loved her right from the start, and throughout everything afterwards (the assassin reveal, the shooting, the lying, the abandonment, the belittling, the selfishness…), she remained a saint in their eyes. How is this different from someone disliking Mary from the start and holding onto that opinion no matter what?

5. “Nothing an antagonist can do to be redeemed, it seems. I don’t want to say a female antagonist, but I am thinking that (Irene Adler, for instance, is still described as a villain.)” *claps for you* Omg what an original argument to make against the big, bad misogynistic Johnlockers! I’ve never ever heard that one before! … Shucks, and here I was thinking I was reading a well-written, organized post that for once didn’t resort to calling Johnlockers sexist for no reason. And about Irene, she may not have necessarily been a villain, but she was an antagonist. She was a force working against Sherlock throughout ASiB. She worked for Moriarty. She was a adversary for him. Does that make her a horrible, evil person? No. But don’t act like it’s a crime to call her what she is. An antagonist. And chances are, if someone uses the word “villain” instead of antagonist or adversary, it’s probably just a word preference. It’s not that deep fam.

6. “It’s best, I believe, to look at the facts and try to be objective.” Okay, then let’s look at all her crimes and despicable acts that you left out of your earlier arguments. Wait… but that would tear apart the point you’re trying to make.

7. Before she shot him, she clearly warned him not to come closer and expressed her remorse. Aka: It’s okay to shoot your friend (who is offering to help you) in the chest just because they bet on you having a conscience and decided to take a step closer to you. And afterwards, it’s best to express your remorse by threatening to shoot them again when you think no one is looking.

8. “Sherlock clearly forgave her and they remained friends” See here’s the thing. We were never actually shown this. We were shown Sherlock escaping dying at her hands a second time, then John making up with her with that ominous, carefully worded, possibly double-edged “The problems of your future are my privilege.” Then Sherlock shot Cam to keep John and Mary safe (yes, John too). Then we got TAB, where Sherlock solved the mystery of a bride who shot people and envisioned John’s marriage going downhill. It was sublte, but throughout all that, there was always the very plausible possibility that there was something more going on. After all, it would’ve made a much better story than Mary trying to kill her supposed friend twice and John forgiving her, despite that decision going against all his previous character development. So yeah, it’s not a surprise (nor the viewer’s fault) for scratching their head when TST aired and Sherlock and Mary were suddenly besties. Something else to understand here re: s4: The question isn’t whether or not he forgave her. They made that pretty obvious. The question we simply have is why?? It’s not a crime to wonder about this instead of just accepting whatever the writers give us, especially when it has no consistency or sense behind it.

9. “She’s been criticised for her sass in HLV, after the shooting, when she dared not to grovel at John’s feet, begging for his forgiveness.” Ask yourself, does her little quip in HLV make you see her as a funny, quirky badass? Why? Genuinely ask yourself why. Why shouldn’t she ask his forgiveness for trying to murder his best friend in cold blood, and apologize like any semi-decent human being would have done? Why is it so “uwu cute and badass” that all she had to say about the situation were some snarky sarcastic comments? See, this is an example of Mary being able to do literally anything, and still be worshipped for it. She’s a woman and can therefore literally commit murder and its uwu so cute. I don't understand how saying “omg wow she tried to kill her friend and DARED to not apologize for it, you go girl!” is helping your argument that she’s really not so bad of a person. (It does, however, help the argument that she would have made an incredible, very interesting, and entertaining villain, so thanks for that).  

10. “Regardless of Mary’s actions and her motivations, she was bound to be hated, simply because she was in a relationship with John.” *claps again* Ohmygod wow you are so smart, I have never heard anyone say that before. Jesus, can ya’ll simply make your argument for once without resorting to calling us sexist? Or insulting our intelligence by implying that we can’t tell the difference between someone getting in the way of our ship and someone being a despicable person who should not be worshipped and praised? And it’s  funny cause i double some of ya’ll would love and stan her so much if she wasn't in a relationship with John. You guys just love being able to use that excuse. You love that she blocks Johnlock and you love her for existing to do just that. If she was just a random side character who shows up in S3, makes some snarky comments, becomes friends with them, and then tries to kill Sherlock, I doubt you guys would still feel the same about her.

11. “But when people demonise her and twist her every word to make her look like the evilest woman on earth, I have to disagree.” / “Mary is not as evil as some people think.” Listen, I agree. I don’t think every single thing she does is horrible. People can often be unfair when talking about her. Both in defending everything she does, and villainizing everything she does. I get it. But hating Mary or interpreting her as a villain is not a fucking crime. There are numerous reasons to support this reading, as you said yourself. I personally don’t see any redeeming qualities in her that make her a character worth forgiving or liking. If you want to argue that she’s not so bad of a person, go right ahead. But seriously, if you’re going to try to justify your reasoning for doing so, try to come up with some better reasons, because these are weak. As I said before, I don’t think every single thing she does is horrible. But I do think that, objectively, the bad about her far outbalances the good. Just try making a simple good/bad list of her traits and actions, weigh them fairly against each other, and tell me what conclusion you come up with. It’s really not a surprising thing (nor a crime) to dislike Mary or see her as a bad character. It’s common sense. At least that’s how I see it. But I’m just a stupid Johnlocker who is only interested in seeing dicks touch. What do I know