#and letting him bully me and mistreat me because I genuinely thought I was in love with him and the alternative to not have him was admiting

[fer3112]

Comphet is crazy because what do you mean I didn’t have to traumatize myself with a relationship with a guy I didn’t even want but my brain convinced me I did and how was I able to fool myself for so so many years and live in denial like that what was wrong with my brain

[hinalatte]

A Thematic Analysis of Chapter 2’s Killer

Drdt spoilers. Obviously

There’s a lot of people who have started liking Ace more since this episode. I am not one of those people. He’s always been my favorite character. I’ve suffered from paranoia as well, and it sucks when people don’t take that shit seriously. Just because it’s irrational doesn’t mean it’s not harmful, and just because it’s stupid doesn’t mean the person suffering from it is stupid. I related to him a lot because of that. His issues are constantly downplayed by the people around him. Either that, or they think he’s irreversibly crazy for fears he can’t really control.

But besides that, I like him because his brain is fun to pick apart. He has so many problems. It’s a genuine shame he’ll never be able to get over them. It’s not the direction I expected his character to go, but it makes a lot of sense.

All that glitters is not gold.

The title made me think that a “good person” would be the killer, but it was Ace, a “bad person.” And his victim was Arei, another “bad person.” The people who died this chapter were the cast’s “worst people,” people who were outcast by everyone else for being bullied. But this chapter also shows their human sides—maybe they were only bad people because they were never given a chance to be good, like Arei. Maybe they were pushed to extremes because nobody treated their problems seriously, like Ace. Meanwhile, the cast’s “good people” are all revealed to be worse than they seemed. That was the thematic reason behind the motive secrets. Some of the others have done things far worse than Arei or Ace.

Nico was someone most of the cast liked. They were never mean to anyone, and they were constantly the victim of Ace’s bullying. They were easy to like, or at least easy to not hate. They quickly formed a bond with Hu (because Hu seeks out people she thinks need her protection). But in this chapter, they tried to kill someone. They admit themselves that it was reprehensible. Nico is a “bad person”.

Hu was supportive of everyone in chapter 1, positioning herself as a motherly figure. She was kind, caring, and helpful. But in chapter 2, she infantilized Nico to the point that she thought they can’t speak for themselves during the trial. She let biases cloud her judgement. She derailed the trial without good reason, because she wanted to be helpful to Nico, even when they weren’t asking for her help. Hu is a “bad person”.

Levi was called a good person by Eden at the start. He’s polite, takes care of other people, and reached out to Ace of all people. But in this chapter, it’s revealed that he did all of that for his own convenience. He doesn’t care about other people. He’s a murderer. He’s a “bad person”.

Levi threatened Ace, making Ace’s paranoia worse. Nico tried to kill Ace, confirming Ace’s idea that he was going to die if he didn’t get himself out of the killing game. Hu defended Nico, confirming Ace’s idea that everyone was against him.

The so-called “bad people” are cursed to die, while the so-called “good people” are shown to have been bad all along.

And isn’t that far more interesting than showing that good people can do bad things, and ending it like that? Now all the so-called “good people” have to live with the fact that their actions led to Arei’s death, without having been Arei’s actual killer. Arei was killed by the cast’s mistreatment, negligence, and trivialization of Ace Markey.

Thematically. Not literally, of course. Ace did that.

But their culpability in Arei and Ace’s deaths, even tangentially, shows in full color the consequences of letting their flaws go unchecked.

And in the context of Nico and Hu specifically, I can’t wait to see how that impacts them in the long run. Chapter 2 was all about facing the darkest sides of some of these characters. So wouldn’t it stand to reason that Ace’s death would influence some of them (like Nico) to examine their actions more closely and try to grow from them?

I can see Nico cutting off their friendship with Hu after this. She refused to acknowledge their fault in the situation. Since Nico is an objective person, I think they’ll understand the part they played in the Ace/Arei situation, and want other people to understand it as well. They won’t want Hu’s misplaced protection anymore.

And for Hu, I have no idea where she’s going after this. After her performance in this trial, where her flaws were pointed out to her by all the other characters, is she going to reflect and change? Or is she going to regress first, especially now that Ace, who she believed to be a villain, actually snapped and killed someone?

A big theme of chapter 2 has been growth. Ace shows the consequences of not growing. He was pushed to murder because of the rest of the cast not confronting their flaws, and he himself committed the murder because he didn’t know how to change.

It’s a bit of a hopeful spin on his death, but I’ll be honest—I’m still majorly bummed out about it. His life has just been terrible and will be terrible until it ends. He’s a horrible person with blood on his hands. He’s a coward and a bully who is hated by everyone. It’s all he’ll ever be, because he’ll die before having the chance to be someone else. Nico, through the sheer coincidence of having their murder interrupted, will be able to grow and change. Ace never will. A terrible life and a terrible death for a terrible person. And he won’t be missed. Not like Arei. Not like Min. Not like Xander. People like Nico, Rose, and Eden may feel bad about it, but no one will miss Ace specifically, because no one likes him.

If you were able to change and become a better person, it only means you were a good person to begin with.

If you weren’t able to change, it means you were doomed from the start. There’s no use trying.

There’s another world where people took Ace’s fears seriously. Where they didn’t dismiss him as a joke at the start and a volatile dog at the end. He might’ve survived if that happened. No matter what David says, bad people can change, if they know how to do it.

When this chapter finishes, I might make a full thematic analysis of it. There are still a bunch of things to say. I’ll just leave this post off with: Nico survivor stocks going up! Invest now!

[nerissalmao]

Ernesto De La Cruz: Tragic Hero (..in his own mind)

Well, at the time of posting this, it’s November 12th. That’s around Day of the Dead season, I think, though I’m as white as the snowflake that is my profile picture (I do enjoy learning more about other cultures though, so I’m glad to get educated and learn more) so you know what? We’re gonna talk about Coco. Yep, hands-down one of the best Pixar movies ever made, THAT Coco. Yes, I know there are arguments about it and Book of Life and which one is better, but I’m not here to talk about any of that.

Time to talk about this ABSOLUTE RAT.

Oohhh, look at him and his big stupid hat and his big stupid bow and his big stupid ribcage. He’s a fraud and a liar and an idiot and he kills people to take their songs.. AND take credit for them! Oooohh he’s stupid. I wanna punch him. You wanna punch him. Let’s all punch him! He’s a murderer, a liar, a traitor, he’s—

Not that bad?

WAIT. What?

Well, okay, see. This might be a little hard to grasp on to, but Ernesto De La Cruz is NOT THAT BAD.

To himself at least. Because to himself, his intentions are noble. He genuinely doesn’t see what he’s doing wrong.. because he’s always thought that this is how fame works. You have to make sacrifices. Then you get famous.

Let me explain.

See, when most people talk about this character, they bring up how terrible it was that he acted so nice and sympathetic, how dastardly in disguise it was for him to act like a nice person. People claim it’s all fake— he never cared for Miguel, he never cared for Héctor, he’s a psychopath, plain and simple.

But.. he’s not.

Look at him. It’s the stupid Hans thing all over again— his face. He genuinely seems proud of Miguel, of the idea he has a great-great-grandson. He shows him off to all his fancy rich friends, lets Miguel monologue about himself, excitedly shows Miguel around, even offer the kid advice. And he genuinely means it.

Of course, the reason people say he doesn’t is because for one, he LITERALLY murdered Héctor. Which, yeah, that sucks, so let’s talk about that first.

As we all know, Ernesto and Héctor were once best friends, two boys chasing the dream of becoming a musician. But Ernesto wanted to play for the world and bask in their adoration. Why? Because he just woke up and decided he deserved it? No, actually. He’s not exactly a textbook narcissist. Yes, he has narcissistic qualities, but there is plainly no evidence to suggest his friendship with Héctor was toxic. If it was, Héctor would have been less shocked to know that Ernesto poisoned him— because if Ernesto was shitty enough to bully and berate his own best friend, then aggravated assault and murder wouldn’t be too shocking for an already manipulative psycho. Yet Héctor genuinely was shocked anyway. And since Héctor’s a bit of a pessimist, it doesn’t seem like him to overestimate his ex-amigo.

(Yes, I know Héctor probably just didn’t want to believe that Ernesto was capable of murder either way. But come on. This man has had the entire afterlife to perfect his lying and his Dìa De Los Muertos Scheme. If Ernesto was that bad in the first place you mean to tell me a salty Héctor WOULDN’T consider the idea?! And he’s certainly a smart enough character to know when he’s being mistreated and when too far is too far, hence why he wants to return home to his family instead of abandoning them! And not to mention how he is totally unafraid of confronting Ernesto. I know that abuse and mistreatment comes in all shapes and sizes, but I don’t think this is the narrative we’re supposed to follow here.)

Ernesto genuinely valued Héctor. He isn’t a textbook narcissist because he recognizes the value and importance of Héctor’s ideas, and hoped to become famous with him by his side, as literally stated in Ernesto’s original plan. Look at the desperation on his face when he thinks Héctor is leaving:

He looks near tears. He’s practically BEGGING. And Héctor doesn’t even bother to give Ernesto any tips on songwriting or farewell wishes, he just kind of leaves. If anything, HÉCTOR is being the jerk here.

But honestly? We can hardly blame him. He was a caring father and a family man who just wanted to get back home. There’s hurt in his eyes, too.

Ernesto, on the other hand? He pushes the envelope too far. He kills Héctor for his songs. He already had poison on him for.. some reason, so what? Did he think he’d poison himself if he didn’t make it? Reputation and fame is very important to Ernesto. Yet it didn’t take him long to come up with the conclusion of killing his friend. Why? Is he really just that insane and am I talking in circles?

Nah. He tells Héctor, “I could never hate you” and it’s true! He doesn’t HATE Héctor. But he needs his songs. He’s been working so hard that in his mind, he just needs to take another step, to.. seize his moment.

He sees this as a necessary option. His reputation is important to him, and he doesn’t want the secret to get to light.. not the murder one. He just doesn’t want anyone to think he’s unoriginal, that he copied someone else’s ideas. Because he’s built his entire career around how talented he is. Because he’s the guy who “actually did it” and who wanted fame and fortune for.. what? Self-validation? He never seems to have any type of family to his name (despite the fact that his name is everywhere and everybody knows him), and even calls his audience his family, proclaiming the world is his family. Was he perhaps an orphan, or had parents who couldn’t care for him? Is that why he couldn’t understand why Héctor would leave for his family and gets desperate, than murderous? Because Ernesto himself never had a family to speak of or anyone to teach him values beyond his own musical dreams?

“Apologies, my friend, but the show must go on,” he says to Héctor, ready to kill Miguel— not out of any malice or hatred. Earlier in the film, good old Ern-DLC got the bombastic Disney Villain green motif all over his ass-

-as he proclaims that he knows deep down that Miguel, being his supposed family, should understand how Ernesto’s mind works. Since he knows that Ernesto sees the world as his family, since he heard Ernesto’s awkward “sì” when he was asked about whether it was hard for him to leave a hypothetical De La Cruz family that may or may not exist. He just throws Miguel into a pond (well.. he gets his security to do so) and there’s no evidence that he has no plan to get him out. He still thinks Miguel is his great-great-grandson. Yes, he put Héctor down there too, but he saw it as a necessary evil because he could do it before, and could do it again. Hurting Héctor just to reach his own fame.. and not seeing anything wrong with it. Seeing it as just another obstacle. Which is my whole point, that he saw nothing wrong with it, in case my rambling sidetracked you. Anyway, Héctor is being forgotten. Héctor could vanish down there, then Ernesto could go get the then-dead Miguel, get the kid to understand fully, and continue living his fame that he believes he earned while Miguel reaps in the rewards of having a famous great-great-grandfather and keeps mum about the whole Héctor thing.

People underestimate Ernesto. Look, fame is hard to achieve. Yes, Ernesto did steal Héctor’s songs, but he didn’t forge any documents. He got himself famous through interviews and acting, even if he had to steal some things along the way. He genuinely did work hard in any other regard, and of course he knows that one has to work hard to seize their moment. And though there’s no evidence to prove he ever hated Héctor, he had already worked so hard and wouldn’t fail. He tried to reason with him first, and his choice to poison him, though drastic, disgusting, and villainous, was what this admittedly tragic family-less man saw as the logical next step.

He literally says it in his villainous monologue: “I’ve worked too hard, Héctor!” “I am ERNESTO DE LA CRUZ!” (as he gets agitated at the idea that he’s a coward, as he’s already had to brave revenge plots against his own ex-best-friend, crazy fans, the pressure of fame, and his own twisted moral code) “I am the one who’s willing to do WHATEVER IT TAKES to seize my moment! Whatever.. it takes.” So, yeah. Listen to his monologue with this in mind. He thinks it’s the logical next step, he doesn’t see anything wrong with it— he’s willing to do whatever it takes. Maybe it even hurt him to take Héctor down. But he did it anyway, because in his warped mind, he thought it would be another GENUINELY HEROIC STEP to the fame he felt he deserved. He admits he worked too hard and seems to try to reason with Héctor again, though this time what he thinks is the right choice is obviously much worse; but by now Ernesto knows he has no family ties to Miguel. The show must go on, bruh man said it himself, and he wants his fame to continue.. because he WORKED SO HARD. He butchered his own friend to get where he is and won’t let anything stand in his way, or else what was that murder for? Then he’s just a psycho (to others; again Ernesto doesn’t really see anything wrong with it), a coward (he does NOT want to be called this, clearly), and everyone who always disbelieved in him is right.

Look at his face after the crowd realizes what he’s done:

Shock. Awe. Surprise. He genuinely doesn’t get it.

In Ernesto’s mind, warped by likely a family-less backstory, he thought that an inexcusable, regrettable action like killing his friend was made excusable since it would help him continue the journey to get the love and acceptance he wants and thinks he deserves. He did care about Miguel; he’s no blood-soaked killer. But he’s willing to do whatever it takes to seize his moment even so, because he thinks this’ll help him, even if he ends up regretting it later. He’s worked too hard.

It makes more sense for him to have been so morally flawed that he genuinely doesn’t get the consequences of his disgusting actions than for him to be so narcissistic that he thinks people would love him even after killing somebody. Because the movie Coco is so nuanced, Ernesto is purposefully tragic. He’s the next great Disney Villain, lying and conniving, but not reveling in the evil; like Claude Frollo before him, he thinks it’s a genuinely good thing to do on his path to stardom, that even though he genuinely cared about Héctor he couldn’t let him get in the way of his dream, and even though he genuinely cared for Miguel, knowing he’s truly not family will soften the blow of having to be rid of him in order to continue to reap the rewards of being famous without his dear reputation tarnished. Yet inevitably when it is, again like Claude Frollo, he doesn’t get it. Because he thinks he’s done good. He thinks this was just another path on his rite to stardom.

It’s why he just stands there wide-eyed instead of doing anything actually smart once he’s found out, or running away from the terrifying alibrije cat demon THING. Because he genuinely can’t understand why his so-called world-family would hate him. After all, they’ve always known he was a hard worker! And he doesn’t see why this news is any different.

Obviously I’m not condoning murder and attempted murder and the things Ernesto did. But this is my interpretation of the narrative and an interpretation that I think is worth reading through. The next time you hear “Remember Me”, the non-sad version, remember.. he’s either a tragic individual, so wrapped up in his own goal he doesn’t even know right-and-wrong from each other.. or an even scarier villain because of his inability to separate the two.

[liaromancewriter]

Hello there ☺️ I don’t know if you’ve already talked about this or have a fic where you address this issue, but here it goes anyways:

What do you think about the whole Mitch situation? We know that he was taking advantage of Sienna and she just couldn’t take it anymore and let it all out in front of everyone. Then, we see how the whole hospital starts to make fun of Mitch and even Sienna seems to think he deserves the treatment he is getting for being lazy, not taking his work or the patients seriously, and taking advantage of her good nature. Afterwards, we find out that Mitch left Edenbrook because of the bullying he was receiving and we see that Sienna feels bad about it.

This storyline always makes me feel conflicted. I think that there’s an option where MC can say that this isn’t high school or something and no one should be bullied and Sienna gets upset to see MC standing up for Mitch. I may be wrong about this since it’s been a while since the last time I replayed these chapters.

I know Mitch totally deserved to be called out and part of Sienna’s arc is to learn how to stand up for herself before it gets to the point where she cannot longer control her emotions. It happened with Wayne in book 1 and again with Mitch in book 2. Different types of relationship with each, but both were mistreating her for an extended period of time. But I’ll say that it was surprising to see a character that is as kind as Sienna be vindictive for a hot minute. What do you think about this? Does it align with your version of her?

Overall, it made little sense that the interns in second year performed so poorly. In book 1, everyone was a stellar intern and had to deal with complex cases alone. Sienna had to tell patients that they were terminal on her intern year. MC and Jackie used the defibrillator on a patient on their first day and were successful. We were told Edenbrook only accepted the best of the best only to have such lackluster interns on the second book 😐 I understand it was some kind of new program, but it bothered me regardless haha

Thank you and my best wishes for you 💖

Hello, Fellow Sienna Fan!

I have so many Sienna stories that I want to write. She's practically my second MC. But, the fandom is so dead now that I wonder, who even cares about those fics.

Writing about her relationship with Mitch is definitely on the list -- all the things we don't see in canon. While I haven't written a fic about it before, I included Sienna's thoughts and feelings about the situation in my original Maxenna series in Part 2 and end of Part 3.

Sienna was conflicted about what happened with Mitch. She put up with a lot because she genuinely thought she was helping him. After everything that happened with Cassie and Danny, she lost her patience with his laziness, but more than that, she found her voice.

While Cassie didn't agree with the bullying, she supported Sienna in public but let her know how she felt in private. Sienna knew she'd gone far too, but all the anger she felt, the helplessness during the poison attack, came out. I don't think it was vindictiveness from Sienna at all; rather her eyes finally opened to what was happening around her. Life was too short to put up with someone who didn't respect medicine or was willing to learn.

In my hc, it was almost 7 or 8 months into residency when the showdown with Mitch happened. (I believe the timeline in canon is likely close to that). Sienna always felt guilty about him leaving because she knew the bullying was her fault. She also felt that he didn't take his job seriously.

We know from canon that Mitch felt inadequate and covered it up with his attitude. But he didn't make that confession until after. So, as far as Sienna was concerned, he was not serious about being a doctor.

One of the lessons from each book is that medicine is hard, it's not predictable and requires fortitude to survive in that career. In book 1, all of the interns faced hard choices. In book 3, it's about adversity from within and without, and learning to compromise so that you don't lose right of the big picture.

In book 2, the residents become mentors to the next crop of interns and it's time to step up and lead. It's not that the interns were bad; the lesson we were expected to take, I believe, is that doctors are only as good as those who train them. Harper Emery tells Aurora the same thing. MC is good because they learned from Ethan Ramsey. And yet, despite everything, mistakes happen because medicine is uncertain.

Thanks for the ask. I could go on and on, but I won't lol

--------

Character Asks: @bluebelle08 @cariantha @crazy-loca-blog @coffeeheartaddict2 @lucy-268 @jerzwriter @lady-calypso @quixoticdreamer16 @rookiemartin @tessa-liam @trappedinfanfiction

[rosesnink]

Hello! ☺️ Among all the fictions you've written this year, what are the sentences/lines you love the most/are proud of? List as much as you want. Thank you for creating and sharing! 💛

Hi there! While I haven't written much, I can say that what I have written, has better quality than before. I will put this under the cut because some of these are straight up paragraphs

Warning: MAJOR SPOILERS FROM THE SERIES

The Cursed Heiress, Chapter Thirteen: In the Name of Love; Joanna snaps at Lady Grandmother

“That’s the thing, Lady Grandmother! You never listen to what I have to say, nor what I feel! It’s all about you and your stupid ambitions that only benefits you! And I’m not some doll and Edgewater is not your dollhouse! We’re all human beings, with hearts, thoughts, ambitions of our own, dreams. And I’m tired of pretending that I’m fine with this grotesque season where I am put a price due to my breeding and status, where what I think or want for myself doesn’t matter. Where wits and goals are dismissed by money and status. Ever asked how am I doing genuinely? If I really wish to marry? If there’s someone waiting for me back home, the real home? If I’m in the mood to throw money away buying a dress I will use just once? No, right? Well, Lady Grandmother, no. I do not want to inherit this. I’m not fine, I’m far from fine. I don’t want to marry that pathetic boor of Duke Richards or anyone from the court. Yes, there’s an entire family of mine waiting for me back at home. NO, I DO NOT LIKE THAT FUCKING DRESS AND I DO NOT WANT TO GO TO A PLACE WHERE NO ONE WANTS ME THERE,” She inhaled, trembling of anger, “You’re asking me too much. To give up who I am, to be exact. To deny my own true nature, to be alright with being seen like some men-pleaser and baby maker. To put up with bigotry and unfair bullying. To give up my beliefs. To be alright with people walking all over me. To endure literal predators hovering at me because they’re richer than you. Well, I’m not that woman. I cannot be that woman, nor I will be.” She pointed at herself violently, “and trying to please you and have your approval is killing me inside. Every time I do that, I feel so much self-hate that I wish to blow my fucking brains off!! So, for once, I beg you, let me be me. I don’t want to accept dishonest condolences from the people who wish me rotting on the streets or wish me ill, or to be observed like some decoration or pretending I don’t have a soul or personality that is made for court life only. I’m not demure, obedient, silent and unbothered. I am not meek and stupid and air headed. I’m not a doll waiting to have an owner. My life is not to be defined by my husband’s wealth and breeding and the number of children that I will bear. Which I do want to, but not like this. I refuse to pay that price. I refuse to reduce my existence to a man’s need of an heir and someone to be their fucking mother.”

This particular scene is one of the key ones of the series, where Joanna is seriously fed up by being held back by expectations and behave like someone who she'll never be. This also makes foreshadowing of her fate

The Damned Daughter, Part Four: The Black Hand; Nene speaks facts about men in a men's world

Nene scoffed "Just because he is a duke doesn’t exempt him from doing such ghastly things! He is a man raised in a world that allows women to be mistreated and taught to normalize it. The status has nothing to do with it. It won’t stop him from doing something to Joanna, just like nobody stopped Henry VIII from killing two of his wives, one of them being seventeen!" 

This scene is all about reminding everyone that, no matter how many titles and riches he has, the duke is a man in a men's world, where, at the time, were not seen as equal or value. The Dowager is blinded by power and duty, and adamnt on having the duke in her bloodline.

Nene reminisces on being a r*pe survivor

It had been three hundred years since that night, and she still cried. Though she was more confident around men and could look at herself in the mirror without feeling disgusted by herself and stopped blaming herself, it always hurt. Sometimes, she could feel them, smell them, hear them… it was something, she learned, that would always chase her and had become a part of her. Since that fateful night in 1536, she had never laid with a man, not even flirted with him, not even when it could help the situation. The very thought of a man touching her made her skin crawl and was highly uncomfortable around them and always had to tell them not to touch her.

This particular paragraph is a painful yet truthful one, for many women can relate to her. The burden she has, in the end, only she carries it with her. Many of the offenders can't care to remember or empathise, and some women live for the rest of their lives scared of opening up to men or be intimate with one, or the low self-steem they inherit from the trauma makes them go from bed to bed, looking for comfort and someone to love her. My point is, that every woman deals with such pain and trauma in different ways, and she couldn't deal with that properly because, sadly, she was on her own. Speaking up against it only brought harm, unlike now.

The Queen of Wolves; Mrs. Shirley is dissappointed but not surprised

She tutted “I see. Another mediocre man who didn’t treat his wife like the treasure she is. Ah, they get worse by the day.”

Mrs. Shirley's first lesson about being a woman in a man's world

She laughed “My dear, first lesson: men are weak and dumb. Blinded by material things like political power and beauty. We women are stronger and wiser. Yes, Eve was made out of Adam’s ribcage, but because of her, we exist. Who, if not us, have brought their heirs into the world? Who, if not the queens, have made the job to persevere the dynasty while the men wiggled their swords and went on dumb crusades? Who, if not us, have kept the babes alive with our breast milk and motherly love? Yes, they may provide with money, but it’ll be gone afterwards. Loyalty, wisdom, self-worth and words are to never be revoked. Hell, even the Earth is a woman! We are kept alive by a living and breathing female deity who, by giving us trees and flowers and oxygen we are still standing. We are amazing, and they don’t realise it. Don’t tell them either, or they’ll have a meltdown and tell the Pope,” She winked, and Marianna laughed “being a woman in this world can be either a gift, or a curse. You choose what to make of your existence as one.”

Marianna's take on love and marriage

She had told him so, laying on the grass of his estate “I learned something in there a long time ago; just because I wasn’t loved properly before doesn’t mean that I wasn’t worthy of it.” She looked at him “I don’t doubt your wife appreciated you, but she didn’t love you. When someone loves you, they always look for an excuse to be with you, they prove it to you, they tell you in a million ways, and most importantly, they don’t stab you in the back with no remorse for their own gain. They are sincere with you, because they loved you so.”

Marianna teaches her daughter a valuable lesson that she'll remember later

She loved teaching her daughter. Her most favourite lessons were lions and its way of living “Did you know that lions are a matriarchy? Yes, it is the lionesses that rule the lion kingdom! They hunt, take care of the baby and keep the lions alive, and they respect their women greatly. It is because of their bravery and strength that the lions still persevere. Look at me,” she looked at her daughter’s intense blue eyes “the lion is who he is because of the lioness. You, my dear, are a lioness. Your lion will be nothing without you. You are strong, brave and have been born to lead. A King without his Queen is nothing, meanwhile a Queen without a King is everything. And you, my dear, will one day have your own kingdom to rule. Always remind that king that his line and kingdom is standing and stable because of you. You are the pillar of earth, with the power to create life. No man will ever be able to match it, remember. Never let any man forget that they’re alive because their mama lioness did the job to keep them alive. Promise me, baby?”

Marianna's goodbye to her daughters

When she was with her daughter in her deathbed, she held her and Jenna’s hand “Listen to me, my daughters. Today, I will leave to be with God in his realm, but that does not mean I will leave forever. And thus, I have two parting gifts. Remember, my angels of golden hair: always know you’re worth it. Today, tomorrow, and always. You are smart enough, beautiful enough, always enough, and if others don’t see it, that’s because they don’t bring much to the table. Being a woman is not certainly easy nowadays, but it is up to you whether you make it the most wonderful experience or the worst thing to ever happen to you. We are the reason the men you’ll marry are here, their lines continue because of you, and the very soil we step in is feminine. Your bodies are your most sacred parts, and nobody can take them away, for they belong to you and you alone. You can be anything you wish if you set your mind to. And always remember, that they can take one, but never if you’re together. Nothing can stop us if we women remain united. Always help your sisters. Be kind to the other, God knows how mean men are to us already. Always tend a hand, be kind, be steadfast, be true to yourself, be strong, and unapologetic. Be loud, take your deserved space, speak up and never, ever, kneel to a man. Only kneel to God, and no other man. And, if you have to choose who lives and who dies, choose yourselves. There is no man on earth who is worth dying for. And most of all… be yourselves, for the very best of myself lies in yourselves. And if someone doesn’t like it… that’s their loss, not yours. Now, come, my daughters. Hug Mama until she’s reunited with God.”

The Dowager's Tale; Dominique reminds her husband who she is

He mumbled “For Christ’s sake, Dominique,” he signalled the staff to get out and closed the door behind him, fuming at her “Know your place! Or have you forgotten who am I?”

“You, too, have forgotten who am I.” He was about to speak when she stomped her feet and grabbed his cravat “No! This is my time to speak, and you will listen!” At his silence, she raised her head “Good. First of all, I am a descendant of Queen Olive the Magnificent of Cordonia. I am the only living daughter of the Duke of Aster, and above all, I am your wife! Fornicate whoever you want, but never forget that I have support at court. The Queen’s to be exact! And don’t forget how many favours the king has given you because of me. I want you in our bedchambers tonight. One last chance. If I birth another girl, I will leave for Cordonia, but keep dreaming about divorce. You will remarry when I’m dead.”

Dominique tells her side of the story

My name is Dominique Adelia Foredale, formerly Aster. I was born on the ninth of February, 1744, same year as Queen Charlotte of Great Britain and Mecklenburg-Strelitz, whom I met on our ship on our way to look for a destiny in England.

I was the wife of Earl Rupert Foredale of Edgewater for thirty-seven years. I was the mother of Hope Vidaud, formerly Foredale, and the grandmother of her twelve children: Philippe, Benedict, Sebastian, John, Emma, Clara, Amelie, Olive, Héléne, Fleur, Elisabeth and Vienna; Philippa Foredale, my unmarried and rebellious daughter who got away safely from this family; Eloise Nikolaevna, formerly Foredale, as well as the grandmother of her only child, Olga; Catherine, and her eight children, whose names is the only thing I know about: Jamie, Clodagh, Alexander, Grace, Hadrian, Maddalena, Ronald and Aoife; and Vincent Rupert Foredale, as well as the grandmother of his three children: Edmund, Joanna and Harry, which the two youngest are now dead.

I came here in 1761 to save House Aster of Cordonia from extinction with an advantageous marriage, though it did little to save it, for in 1789 it was declared extinct due to my poor brother’s bad decisions, which drove him to take his own life out of shame. My family eventually died. Then, my poor Eloise followed due to childbirth. Then, my dear, free-spirited Catherine drifted apart as well. Rupert also followed in 1799, dying the death of a madman due to circumstances above my knowledge. When I thought no one else could leave, my grandson Harry died due to a hunt gone wrong. In April, in a span of nearly a week, my only son Vincent died of yellow fever and my granddaughter Joanna was murdered by Duke Tristan Richards of Karlington, making my dear Catherine’s predictions true.

I am Dominique, the woman who was blinded by duty and still tied to a world now gone in England. I lost everything to duty. I was a dutiful and obedient daughter, a loving wife, a dedicated mother, a devoted grandmother. I am Dominique, the woman who put duty above everything, the woman who, due to her blindness towards duty, was eventually taken away by her loved ones.

Maybe I always knew that one day, my old-fashioned ideology would get me killed. But I never guessed that such an obsession would kill my loved ones. I did what I was told, I fulfilled my duty. But now I wonder, did I fulfil it? Or did it destroy me?

I am Dominique, the woman who outlived her duty, and this is my tale.

The Cursed Heiress, Chapter Fifteen: Face Your Fate; Edmund declares his love to Briar

He swallowed hard “I…I…” Before he could utter a word, he instead kissed her in a searching kiss where words were not needed. All feelings and words left unsaid were there, and he broke the kiss to peck her nose “I…I am not a man of speeches. If the love I bear for you were less, I could muster more words to express it. But… my heart sings for you so, I find myself stuttering like a fool. The love I bear for you is so great, this frail body I am in cannot express it as you deserve.” he took her hands and kissed them with utter devotion and adoration “My sweet Briar… if you could see yourself as I see you… if only you could see my heart… you’d understand, and I’d be able to cease those doubts in your head. You are my heart, my soul, the very reason I am able to breathe and the one soul that gives this grey world light and beauty. The strength you give me is such that I could burn the whole world and bring the moon to your feet at your command.” He gazed into her eyes intently “One word, my darling flower, and I shall leave this very room and remain silent till my soul leaves my body. However, if your sentiments are that strong… I beg of you to end this torment and tell me so, for I cannot bear to be parted from you ever again. And I–I love… I love…” He took a deep breath and their noses touched gently “I love you, Briar Daly. With everything that I am. And I can no longer fight against it anymore. I refuse to fight such a pure, natural and beautiful feeling, the only good thing I have left. The best thing to have happened in my life. My heart’s only, ardent and most powerful desire.”

Joanna finishes off her opponent

They parried even harder, their blows growing deadlier and stronger to the point they were at the highest, and Elias did a terrible mistake as he gloated “Sex offender or not, I will prove to your mother I am the only one for her. I will kill you, and will conquer everyone in this world. I WILL BE KING OF ALL EMPIRES IN THE GALAXY, AND YOU WILL NOT STOP ME–”

With a swift movement, she sliced the head off his neck, killing him instantly, raging on her entire body “I believe I just did.”

The Viscountesss, Chapter Six: Change of Pace; Nicole's Mama Bear instincts kick in

"Say that again.” She dared him. 

“I’m just saying that—,” Nicole kicked him in the shin hard, him doubling, and grabbed his chin, digging her nails on it. 

“If you ever insult or trigger my daughter or any young neurodivergent person for the matter, I will cut out your tongue and feed it to the stray cats.” She turned coldly towards Roselyn “I will not press charges because I trust that you will take care of your idiot husband. However, as long as you’re with him, I don’t want you around my daughter. After tonight, you and I are no longer friends." 

And that'd be all! I'm afraid I was swept away with another fandom and TCH was my main focus... but what I wrote, I like to think it was brilliant and I could tell the improvement I've made!

Thank you for your ask! Have a good day/night

[hiisheart]

@malka-lisitsa said: Talk about Mikes relationship with El. How he thought it would be, how it really is, and how he feels about the difference between the two.

( *SLAMS HANDS TOGETHER* HOOO BOY i have so much i wanna say about mike & el in terms of their relationship. let me just say i don't really ship mileven romantically but. BUT. by god they are one of my favorite BROTPs and i will fucking die on that hill. i also threw this under a cut bc it got long ksjdhfsd )

( let me start this off by saying that mike is very, very much a person who, especially at the start of the show (and kind of growing a bit more throughout the seasons, but mostly bc of his queerness and the need to hide it) deeply desired being needed. he's a kind, benevolent individual who always seems to be looking for the greater good of others, especially people he cares about. because of mike's desires to be seen and needed, likely stemming from the effects of being a target for bullying and mistreatment around the same time and throughout the series, and also potentially family dynamics too, i believe that mike misinterpreted his desire to help el as genuine romantic attraction - i think that lucas telling mike that he's just happy that a girl isn't grossed out by him hints this to us through the subtext. through helping el after finding her in the woods, mike likely began by operating on his desire to help people, and in the process of helping her not only was he able to feel needed, but he also realized how much he cared about her. however, the romantic view of their relationship i believe was likely encouraged by social pressures (stares mostly at lucas) and the pressure to fit in on mike's part.

mike's desire to be with el in a romantic way i also believe only got stronger as he got older for two overlapping reasons: 1) romantic and sexual attractions & desires tend to solidify during puberty, and 2) mike is probably aware of this fact and was likely becoming more and more aware of it particularly throughout s3 and wants to hide his queerness or the potential for his queerness to be exposed behind being in a relationship with el. deep down, i don't think mike ever viewed his relationship with el as long-lasting, stable, or the epitome of romance. instead, he was likely able to force himself to be with someone he saw as the most appropriate to be with, probably because of 1) wanting to feel needed, 2) his desire to be seen as normal, and 3) to hide who he really is because he's afraid of the social repercussions of doing so. coincidentally (or perhaps not) i see mike as someone who faced these three things all at once in s3, which according to the duffers was the season representing puberty and growing up.

regardless of the lack of romantic chemistry between these two, they absolutely, 100%, would fucking die for each other and care about each other so much. while over time mike was able to see himself as less compatible with el romantically, realizing what she needed and how they couldn't give each other what they needed, he is hands down ride or die besties with her. i don't believe either of them would give up their friendship with each other for anything, and it is so crystal clear to me that they both love each other so much. (even though i am willing to say that i do think there may have been romantic feelings on el's side at some points - she was clearly hurt by mike being unable to write or say he loves her, just as an example. then again, her hurt may have been a manifestation of her desire to need love and to feel loved, and mike couldn't give that to her in the way she wanted him to.) )

[redleatherlesbo]

bukola's blog #2: on citizenship

how an encounter with a neighbor convinced me of my worthiness of a high school award (tw/reference to su*cide)

when i was a teenager, the high school i attended had a monthly assembly before school where students selected by their teacher would receive the “Good Citizenship” Award. each month, a different department would give the award. in september, teachers from the english/language arts department would select a student; in march, the math department would do so, and so forth. from what i remember, the qualifications for a student who demonstrated good citizenship in a classroom context were thus: enthusiastic participation in class, timely submission of assignments, genuine inquisitiveness, willingness to help classmates, etc. by the time i graduated, i had received this award five times.

the most memorable of these five awards was the one i received from my ap world history teacher, mrs. ewans. it was during my sophomore year of high school, one of the first school years i remember more for the mental and emotional anguish i was experiencing than for anything i said or did in a class to deserve any acknowledgement. it was the first year that i was completely uninvolved in any extracurricular activities since elementary school, having chosen to disengage from a few activities wherein i felt mistreated by my peers. the years preceding my sophomore year were full of the kind of serious bullying that you would expect a dark-skinned black girl (and the only african girl in school) to experience in a southern school district.

unfortunately for me, it was in disengaging from these activities where cruelty was taking place that i had the opportunity to reflect on them for the first time. i spent every day that year going straight home after school to sink into my loneliness, wondering what i did in a past life to be given this one. having attended middle and junior high schools filled with hundreds of southern, majority white, american preteens experimenting with racism for the first time through their interactions with me, choosing to pull back was probably the better decision. but beyond the internal turmoil caused by the solitary experience of oppression, the social awkwardness of youth that we all went through made things even lonelier. i remember looking for a table to sit at on the first day of that year, lunch tray in hand, realizing i could no longer sit with the basketball girls. i remember wandering through the halls to find an alcove to sit in by myself, eventually calling my dad to share my predicament. he immediately offered to drive to school and eat lunch with me on one of the benches outside or even in the car. i wish i had accepted, but youthful embarrassment kicked in at the thought of eating lunch with my dad because i had no friends. i declined, and hung up the phone almost immediately. i settled into the library, where i would eat my lunch nearly every day for the rest of the year.

it’s a hard place to return to emotionally still, so i can’t fathom how the version of me that i was at that time managed to convince any teacher that there was anything useful—let alone praiseworthy—about me. i don’t remember being my usual bubbly self that year, or even making a single memorable contribution in any class. i spent all of high school and most of the years since thinking those citizenship awards, the one from my world history teacher especially, were undeserved.

—

earlier today, i was taking my dog for a walk in brooklyn before sitting down at my laptop to work from home for the day. my dog is [very cute and] on the small side, so he often wears a sweater in the wintertime to keep him warm. he was wearing it today when someone behind us complemented him. i turned to accept the compliment, and inadvertently began a conversation with a very talkative neighbor about my dog’s sweater. i had not noticed when our conversation began, but as we continued speaking and i observed the missing fingers on his gloves and the callused skin underneath, i realized i was speaking to one of the unhoused men i often see in the neighborhood. as if on cue, he shifted the topic of conversation from my dog’s sweater to the fact that he was in need of money to pay for a meal and transportation to the shelter for the day. i told him i didn’t have cash and apologized, but he continued to follow my dog and me across and down the street while suggesting places i could stop into to get cash for him. i told him i didn’t even have my card and so i couldn’t get cash at the moment—having only grabbed what i needed to take my dog out for a quick stroll around the block—thinking this would end the conversation. instead, he began to describe how bad his mental health had gotten lately. he thanked me for even talking to him and addressing him like a human being but said that he feared he might k*ll himself because it was his birthday, and he was on the street having to ask strangers for their change for a place to stay. he finally offered to stay in front of the kfc on the corner we were standing on and wait for me to take care of my dog and get cash. i agreed, and we finally parted ways.

on my way home with my dog, my brain was a mess of thoughts. i was pretty sure i didn’t even have any cash at home, so i needed to find the nearest atm. i couldn’t go far to find it because i had a meeting on zoom that would start within an hour. i was also limited in which direction to go looking for an atm because the kfc that the man was waiting for me at was so close to my apartment building. given his willingness to follow me when i was crossing the street and down the block, i thought it best not to give him any indication of where i lived. this line of thinking made me ashamed of myself, and i wondered if i would feel the need to take so many precautions after a similar conversation with a member of my community if i knew they had a permanent address. i recognized myself at the crossroads of intersectional experience, remembering i am a woman and that i smile when strangers speak to me and wondered if a man would have been followed. while trying to decide if this made me a bad person, i also began to wonder if the “i am going to k*ll myself if you don’t come back with cash” method of solicitation typically yielded him much success. it probably isn’t his birthday, is it? would i assume a housed person was lying about their birthday?

after wiping my dog’s paws and giving him a treat to occupy himself with, i headed back out to the atm, still grappling with all my thoughts. in the chaos of it all, one thought came to the forefront: i think it makes me a pretty good citizen to still go get the cash despite all of those considerations especially regarding my safety as a woman. and then, for the first time in almost a decade, i remembered that year of deep unworthiness. the certainty on mrs. ewans's face as she read the paragraph she had written about why she had selected me during that early morning awards ceremony all those years ago returned to my mind. only this time, it did not bewilder me.

—

i’m not fully sure why i wrote this. the rest of the encounter was mundane: i gave him the cash, we bumped elbows, and we parted ways. part of this feels embarrassingly self-congratulatory. i hope the more painful memories of my sophomore year demonstrate that any positive sentiment i express towards or about myself was hard-won. i also wonder if my experience would be relevant to educators considering the merits of rewarding students in similar ways. even though the award might even have seemed corny to me at the time (telling other students that i received this award more than once felt like asking to be labelled a Teacher’s Pet and a ‘tryhard’), in the elevator on my way down to the atm, i remember thinking that i wanted to prove mrs. ewans right. even almost ten years later, i wanted to prove worthy of my Good Citizenship awards.

more importantly though, i think the lesson in the story is that our essence always shines through. even amidst immense trauma that made me incapable of seeing any positive traits present in myself, my teacher was able to see it. for years i thought i fooled her, though i now realize it was myself i had fooled into thinking that depression would take the essence of who i am away from me. there is a light that shines in us, even when we cannot see it ourselves.

[nataliaphantomhivesblog]

Super underrated Kokichi moment: In chapter 4 when Kokichi was calling Gonta "dumb" and Himiko calls him out, saying it was bullying but then Kokichi says something like this:

Himiko felt bad but then it was brushed off. I think this was one of the few moment where Kokichi saying what he thought and I like to think he was genuinely annoyed when he said that, not a lot of people talk about it but Kokichi do have a point. There were moment when the cast were really unfair to him like when they were fine when Maki chocked him or when Shuichi and Maki didn't cared when he was bleeding, many others moment. I'd love to know your opinion about it.

That's actually one of my favorite Kokichi moments!!

I have always thought that the ch4 class trial is one of the most clear outlooks we get of Kokichi's character.

In the beggining of the trial, he is his usual self but the moment he throws Gonta under the bus, his mask starts falling off.

Kokichi was already carrying the death of Miu on his shoulders, and him telling everyone that Gonta is the culprit and therefore letting Shuichi get closer to the truth that will lead Gonta to be executed started to emotionally affect Kokichi.

I think its clear that Kokichi is not someone who yells at people. You can already tell that what hes doing here is not acting, hes genuienly frustrated and upset.

So when Kokichi starts yelling some more and goes as far as calling Gonta an idiot, Himiko tells him to stop bullying Gonta and Kokichi is just... apalled. He's apalled that Himiko called Kokichi out on bullying Gonta when Himiko herself has bullied others before in this damn killing game.

This group has a visable bias on who to pick on and who not to pick on because I have never seen Himiko or anyone else ever stopping Kokichi from insulting Miu before.

Kokichi here is spilling facts. Hes calling all of them out on the complete and utter hypocrisy of the group and how they never actually consider that they also hurt Kokichi's feelings by blaming him and ganging up on him.

When Kokichi said this, Himiko instead of admitting that to be the truth immedietly decides to deny it.

A part of her realized Kokichi is right. But she doesn't want to accept it because she thinks Kokichi deserves to be mistreated because...he is Kokichi.Someone whos feelings aren't valid because hes probably lying anyways.

But what most of V3 cast ignored was that it's clear as day that Kokichi was stuck in the same boat as them, and that Kokichi deserved to be genuienly cared for too. The majority of the V3 cast never took their time to understand him and just costantly dismissed him.

The fact that the V3 cast took their time to understand Maki—a literal assassin over Kokichi pisses me off, especially because Maki did absolutely nothing to earn her place while Kokichi was the one who literally warned everyone about her being an assassin. Did anyone thank Kokichi for giving them a heads up? No. Did anyone check on Kokichi after being chocked by the said assassin? No. There was nothing cocky over him letting everyone know Maki was an assassin but the game tried so hard to make it look that way.

In conclusion, I heavily agree with Kokichi's words and think that most of the V3 cast had clear biases and was hypocritical.

[under-the-cherrytree]

Heya! Thank you for answering my request! Now, can I get yandere big bro. Not an incest obviously l. teru, kou and tsukasa and hanako with little sis/bro gn s/o?

Now the thing is s/o usually got a mistreat at school due to people jealous of them (kou,teru) on tsukasa & hanako case (a yokai seems to wanting tsukasa & hanako beloved dead)

However s/o seems to not mind it at all. Btw, s/o is student at the school. And seems to be reincarnated after they die, and seems to believed hanako & tsukasa after they said they were s/o ghost brother and s/o reincarnated.

Now what would be the scenario when they find s/o is sitting on the floor. Wet around their hair and their clothes seems to be been damaged. When they Ask what happen s/o said.

"oh, big brother, I'm sorry...i'm really is...today is your birthday...but..." S/o keep cry and then said this while sobbing so hard "today, there's a girl who want me to introduce her to you. But I want to give you the gift and reject her, the girl obviously didn't take it well and...she make her group do this" "i-i...keep...trying to saving money to buy you this caused i want it to be secret...but-i..guess..there's nothing to give to you" while showing a blue (blue sky) (blue light) kou.

Tsukasa & Hanako Case

"big brother...since this is your both birthday I thought it would be better to get you both a gift. But there's a girl who hate me. I didn't even knew why?" And then s/o just said while sobbing "I..know big brother hanako love donut, and and I'm sure big brother tsukasa loves it too...so I baked a homemade donut, but that girl destroy it...she...she said my cook is the worst and people who eat it will puked and not even a ghost want it" "also she steal the necklace that I buy for you two since she say I did not deserved that"

Green (hanako) red (tsukasa)

Headcannon and oneshot again please!

The Minamoto brothers and the Yugi twins with a bullied younger sibling❣︎

Warings: Hinting to murder?, bullying, abuse, slight cursing

A/n: Hey! Of course of course, I try to answer requests to the best of my ability!

I did this with the siblings combined so hope you don’t mind shshjsh

Heehee hope you enjoy, my love~

Teru was your older brother and he made that known to the school

You loved the fact that you were known as Teru’s younger sibling

You loved your brother

But you knew you would be used for it

People would fake being your friend just to get close to Teru

Then once they got rejected, they always blamed you

You didn’t mind, you still wanted to be Teru’s younger sibling

Teru slowly picked up on this

He knew something was up so he told Kou

Those two tried to keep a close eye on you

But while they were there, it look like you had lots of friends

But when they left the bullying begun again

But sooner or later, the other girls true colors will start to show

Teru and Kou are protective brothers

The girls in your class should have known to not get on your brothers bad side

“Teru-nii! Looks like you got a lot of presents!” Kou called out, running to his older brother who was standing at the entrance of the school. Teru chuckled and looked back at his backpack which was full with presents from fangirls.

“Well, I guess I do...” Teru patted his younger brother on the head, making him smile brightly. “Where’s Y/n? Aren’t they supposed to be with you after cleaning the bathroom?”

“They are…” Kou's expression turned into a slightly worried one “but they said they had to go early. They told me something about wanting to get something prepared to give to you for your birthday…”

Teru sighed, he was worried. He already had suspicions that you were getting mistreated in your class but he didn’t know for sure so he never confronted you about it. He has confronted Kou about this and he had the same suspictions as well.

“Well let's go get them!” Teru clapped his hands and made his way towards the building.

“Do you think it's…” Kou didn’t want to finish the sentence.

“Let's hope not.” Teru’s carefree expression lowered at the thought. “Do you know where they went?”

Kou thought for a moment.

“No, but I know they aren’t in the old school building…”

Teru and Kou walked around the school for a while, looking for you in no avail. Kou pointed out little droplets of water that slowly got bigger reaching to the school's lockers. The boys froze when they heard sounds of sobbing. They turned the corner to see you facing your lockers drenched in water. You leaned onto your locker, closing it.

“Y/n..!” Kou called out, making you turn to him. “What happened?!”

“Who the hell did this to you…?” Teru asked, examining your ripped close and abused appearance. You looked at him and only cried more.

“I’m sorry big brother Teru…”

“Y/n, you don't need to be sorry, this isn’t your fault..!” Teru hugged you “What happened..?”

“I-its your birthday today… but there was this girl who wanted me to introduce you to her... but I said no, she didn’t take it too well and did this…” You sobbed into his shoulder. Teru’s grip on you tightened thinking about how this only happened while he was outside with Kou.

“I-I saved my money… to buy you a nice sky blue necklace… and I even got big brother Kou light blue one as well… b-but she destroyed it and I don’t have anything to g-give you…”

“Y/n that’s so sweet! We are extremely thankful!” Kou tried to lighten the mood a bit, giving you a gracious smile. You could see tears pricking the corner of his eyes. Teru was still angry that his suspicions were true, he was praying they weren’t.

“Who did this?” Teru sternly asked.

“I-it’s fine Teru…” You kneeled to the ground picking up pieces from the necklace she destroyed “She already left… there is nothing I can do now…”

“Y/n… please…” Kou kneeled down next to you and put his hand on yours.

“Guys, what would make me feel better is if we got home… can we please go home?” Your voice was begging. You just wanted to be in a warm blanket watching T.V. with your siblings.

That's all you wanted right now.

“Okay… I’m sorry Y/n, let's go home okay!” Teru gave you his jacket which you happily accepted.

“Even though I couldn’t get the gift, it meant the world to me!”

----

You sighed walking to your classroom. It was early and you were tired. You were happy your brothers didn’t ask you about it for the rest of the night, you didn’t want them to worry. You thought you would get a load from the girls who did this to you yesterday but you were shocked when she bowed in front of you instead.

“Y/n! I am so sorry! Please forgive me for what I did to you yesterday! It was very rude of me and I am very sorry!” She was shaking.

“Oh, uh, it’s alright..! No need to bow, I forgive you…” You put your hands in front of your chest, genuinely confused. Once she stood straight up you saw a big red mark on her cheek. She had tears in her eyes but ran to her desk before you could get a better look at her. You looked to Tsuchigomori who only nodded with an apologetic look on his face.

‘What happened this morning…?’

----

“Teru? You still look down?” Kou faced his brother as they both walked to class.

“Sorry Kou… just a little upset by the person who did this to Y/n…” Teru apologetically smiled.

“Well you slapped her, that taught her a lesson!” Kou encouraged.

“Trust me Kou,” Teru’s smile turned into a frown

“If a teacher wasn’t there, I would have kicked her ass.”

Amane found it unforunate you were caught in the crossfire of him and his brothers conflic causing you too kill yourself as well

Tsukasa thought it was great that his younger sibling was now dead too

Gosh Tsukasa-

But what they didn’t expect was for you to get resurrected

You were able to see supernaturals yourself and you couldn’t age from the day you died but you weren’t a ghost like your brothers

Tsuchigamori helped you establish a somewhat normal school life

It was all good for the most part, you were back in school, Hanako was the leader of the 7 mysteries, and Tsukasa was just crazy happy

The fact you are getting mistreated is mostly Tsukasa’s fault

Like he can make a lot of enemies so when the fish yokai (that he killed) saw how close you and Tsukasa were, of course they wanted to kill you

It was also a perk that you were Hanako’s sibling since they wanted to get back at him as well for stealing their princess Yashiro away from them

You were weak and had a human body, you were perfect

Amane had no idea about this, Tsukasa didn’t know you were being abused but he did know he pissed off those fish AND HE PISSED EM OFF GOOD-

You figured you would be a target for yokai since your older brothers are powerful

Of course, you didn’t mind this

You knew this would happen so it’s alright!

But the thing was, it wasn’t so alright with your older brothers

Hanako watched the cherry blossoms fall from the tree that he sat under. It was November 25, his birthday, and you said you wanted to have a talk with the two boys. Normally you would talk to them separately because you knew how Amane felt towards his twin brother, but today you wanted to talk to them together. Hanako cancelled his normal cleaning duty and waited where you said to meet up.

“Amane!!” He heard a scream from behind him but before he could turn around he felt someone hug him, wrapping their legs around his waist.

“Oh, Tsukasa…” Hanako said softly, personally finding this kind of awkward.

“Where’s Y/n?? It’s been so long since I’ve seen them!” Tsukasa removed his head from Amane’s neck looking around for you.

“Oh, they aren’t here yet, and I remember them saying they saw you two days ago…”

“So long ago!” Tsukasa whined and Amane sighed at his childish behavior. It went silent but thankfully Tsukasa quickly broke it.

“Didn’t Y/n say to meet them here 15 minutes ago??”

“Yeah they did…” Amane started to get worried.

“They're late!” Tsukasa pouted.

“You’re late as well Tsukasa… And we should go look for them.”

“I’ll lead the way! I know where their last class is!” He stood up and started marching, Hanako closely behind him.

They walked around the school for a while, watching students run across the halls to their clubs, laughing and gossiping with one another. Tsukasa continued to march, not losing the bounce in his step. They came closer to the sound of someone crying, sobs getting louder as they approached a classroom. The twins looked at each other before Tsukasa opened the door.

You jumped slightly, removing your head from between your legs to look at who came in. You only began to cry more realizing it was your two brothers.

“Y/n…?” Tsukasa slightly whispered to himself, staying at the door's entrance.

“Y/n! What happened?!” Amane ran to you, fearing you were hurt in any way. He put his arm on your wet shoulder, looking around to see if there were any visible bloody wounds. He looked at your uniform which was damaged and had a few cuts in it. Your hair was also wet like if someone poured water on you. Tsukasa slowly made his way over to you, examining you up and down. You couldn’t make out the expression on his face but you knew anger was there.

“I-I’m sorry…” You said a little above a whisper.

“You’re sorry for what..?” Amane asked, moving the wet hair out of your face to get a better look at your soaked, tear-stained face.

“Big brothers...since this is both your birthdays... I thought it would be better to get you both a gift. But there are these fish yokai who don’t like me..!” You picked up a couple red and green gems from the floor. Hanako’s eyes widened.

“I... know big brother Amane liked donuts and I assume big brother Tsukasa likes them as well… but they took the donuts I made you saying my cooking was t-the worst and you wouldn’t want it..!” You continued “And they took the necklace I bought for you guys saying I don’t deserve it…”

“Were they talking fish..?” Tsukasa's voice was cold, eyes wide with rage. You only nodded your head.

“Amane, will you stay with y/n? I have something I need to do.” Tsukasa turned to Amane. Hanako already knew what he was going to do.

He was going to go after the mermaid and her fish. There was nothing he could say to stop him.

“O-okay… do what you have to do…” Amane nodded and Tsukasa left the room.

“W-wait… where is he going..?” You started to get up but Amane sat you back down.

“Hey, don’t worry Y/n… older brother Tsukasa is going to take care of this okay?” Amane hugged you.

“But I don’t mind the fish… it’s fine-”

“No. It’s not.” Amane’s aura grew darker before his loving brotherly smile appeared again.

“And hopefully by tomorrow, you won’t have to deal with those disgusting fish!”

----

“Y/n! Amane!” Tsukasa called out as he walked down the halls. When he approached the door he opened it revealing you and Amane laughing. You were somewhat dry and you stopped crying.

“Tsukasa!” You got up and gave him a hug.

“What happened to those fish…?” Worryness in your voice.

“Don’t worry about it Y/n! You don’t need to worry about them anymore!” He childishly smiled, bringing ease to you.

“Amane approached you two, smiling. He looked to see Tsukasa’s hand that was behind his back covered in blood. Hanako's smile dropped and he went silent. He quickly regained his composure and turned to you.

“Yeah, Y/n you don’t need to worry about those fish. Your big brothers will kill any other supernatural that dares hurt you!”

[atlasshrugd]

ok. let me see if I can express what I’m thinking.

cordelia and xander’s relationship to me at first was a crack ship, and it seemed intended to be. but then it started to grow on me. i started actually caring about them as a couple and liking how their relationship developed. the rivals to lovers to s/o’s was cute. i started to like cordelia for more than just her comedic relief.

then, season 3 happened. not only do they not act like a couple (which they never rly did, but at least they used to have some sweet moments), they put in the mf CHEATING storyline. xander’s attraction to willow was sudden like a bus crash. it came out of nowhere and made no sense. both willow and xander were in good places in their relationships, and this was when we realised that cordelia’s feelings towards xander were deep and real (which she has never experienced). she admitted that she loved him, she said she would always stay with him when she thought he got turned into a creepy fish creature, she had photos developed of him and them that she stuck in her locker. meanwhile - xander’s feelings remain stagnant. he has no scenes where he admits his feelings for cordelia or even speaks kindly about her. pretty much, we’re led to believe that he doesn’t care as much about cordy as she cares about him.

AND THEN, during the whole freak show of willow and xander’s cheating, willow tries to resist xander because she knows it is wrong (trying to find a spell for it etc.) but xander doesn’t seem to show any restraint and only seems remorseful bc willow is remorseful. he is the one who makes all the moves even when willow says not to. and he doesn’t feel guilty about it the way willow does.

this culminates in them kissing AGAIN after being kidnapped by spike only to be found by cordelia and oz (who also deserves better), and then cordy falls and gets IMPALED by a fucking wooden stake. fucked up, but she survives, and then XANDER ASS comes to the hospital with flowers and an explanation. but before he can, cordy says to stay away from her, which is understandable. but what does Xander do? does he show genuine remorse (at cheating, not at being caught)? does he make a genuine apology for cheating and stringing her along even when he didn’t have deep feelings for her? No. He leaves, and we don’t get any scene where xander expresses any genuine feeling towards cordelia, not even in his many voicemails. And this is the writers fault, and their blatant mistreatment towards the character of cordelia (and the actress).

and ik cordelia can be a bitch and that in s1 she was sort of a bully, but she literally gave up her popularity, friends, and social standing to date xander publicly. he didn’t have to sacrifice anything and totally took her for granted. not to mention he decided to date her when he was STILL in love with buffy and had feelings for willow.

and then the next episode? xander BLAMES oz and cordelia for walking in on them and blaming them for cheating bc “they were about to die so it would be the last kiss” ??? like??? what??? I wish he was joking but you could tell he actually believed it. and when everyone found out he cheated, everyone alienated her and mocked her.

the moral of the story is: cordelia/xander deserved better, cordelia and oz deserved better, xander and willow SHOULD feel bad and guilty, and that s3 characterisation is all over the place.

[shreddedleopard]

Thoughts on chapter 137, and why it makes complete sense and cements the themes and lessons of Attack on Titan.

I have so many thoughts, I just want to word vomit them out at a million miles an hour, but I’ll try to do this in some sort of order and not my usual chaotic mess.

Attack on Titan is about family and belonging, and THIS is the dream that Ymir was drunk on. This is ‘that scenery.’

Ymir, the founder, just wants to belong somewhere. With someone. She wants to be loved and valued as a person, not as a slave; not as someone who merely fulfils a role. In the latest chapter, Zeke explains how he failed to understand her, but Eren did.

Look at Eren’s words to Ymir in this moment, several chapters earlier:

All Ymir has ever wanted is to be held. To be loved like a person. To feel that connection because of who she is, not the role she fulfils.

Eren understands this, in contrast to Zeke, who once again tries to impose her role upon her:

Ymir has been hanging around in paths all this time, unable to fully die and let her consciousness pass on to the next world, because she needs to find this thing that she’s been searching for since the start of the story.

It’s not just about romantic love. It’s about connection. That sense of being understood and belonging with someone else, whether that be romantically, platonically, as family ... we keep seeing the same theme brought up throughout the entire manga.

Who else is a character that constantly searches for the same thing? Mikasa.

She has so many parallels and yet also opposites with Ymir. Ymir is told she is a slave, she obeys the king, that is her role. And she accepts it. Because she believes that it’s the only way to find happiness; to find this belonging she’s been craving. However, unlike Ymir, who does not truly love the king, I believe that Mikasa does truly love Eren - what form that takes doesn’t necessarily matter to me at this point. It’s just about connection.

Whether Eren feels the same, tragically for him, doesn’t matter. Because Eren knows he is destined to be the one to end the cycle of hatred and free Ymir. And that will ultimately cost him his life. That is why, when Zeke asks him what he will do about Mikas’s affections - which have nothing to do with her bloodline and everything to do with him - Eren cannot answer. That choice has sadly been taken from him.

When Eren asks Mikasa what she is to him, I think he genuinely wants to know at that point. I think he cares about her so deeply and wants to know she feels the same way, and it’s not just about him being ‘her saviour’. But as we’ve seen before, Eren cannot afford to stop for too long and dwell in the moment, because he must push on towards freedom - the freedom of Ymir and the Eldian people from the curse of the Titans.

This brings his conversation around the table with Armin, Mikasa and Gabi into a whole new light. Eren insults his friends in an attempt to push them away from him - because he knows he won’t be around to live that ‘long, happy life’ with them. So instead, he wants to push them to confront their feelings in the arms of others. He pushes Armin to really consider what Annie means to him, and for Mikasa, I believe that Eren intends her to perhaps look towards Jean, who is truly willing to give her the love she has always sought from Eren. Because again, so tragically, Eren will not be around to provide that for her - regardless of whether it’s something he wants or not. His own wishes no longer matter on the path he has been set upon.

Back to Ymir. Eren tells her, he will put an end to this world:

He doesn’t mean the human world; the living world. He means the world of paths, where Ymir is trapped, unable to let go of the souls of dead Eldians, because she’s still searching for that connection she craves so much. Her paths world is an attempt to quell that feeling of loneliness she’s been plagued with, but ironically, she’s more lonely than ever, stuck there, serving the bloodline she’s created from a place of misery and duty, rather than love.

The rumbling and the destruction of Marley is a very tragic consequence of what Eren has to do to put an end to the curse of the Titans. He’s searched for another way to no avail; we’ve seen his remorse when he apologises to Halil or Ramsey in chapter 131:

I think the anger and devastation that’s unleashed in the rumbling, is a result of the hurt and mistreatment both Eren and Ymir have felt at points in their lives.

Eren understands that to destroy the paths realm, first this devastation is necessary, because he’s seen it in his future memories, despite the conflicting feelings it’s evoked from him - he doesn’t really want to destroy humanity outside of the walls, but his own future is telling him that he must and he will. But it’s not Eren’s emotions that drive this initial destruction - it is Ymir’s. These emotions are no different in nature than the ones that Eren felt in response to Armin’s childhood bullies - that sense of unfairness and need to lash out at oppressors - but tragically, unlike Eren who in that moment of intense, irrational emotion had only his fists to vent and release, Ymir is in possession of one of the most terrible and destructive weapons there is - hordes of colossal Titans. And in that moment where Eren finally gives her that validation she has been searching for, and allows her that feeling of release from the duty she’s felt she needed to fulfil for thousands of years, Ymir releases that frustration and anger too and sends them walking.

This theme of the oppressor and oppressed switching places in an endless cycle of revenge and stealing from others what has been stolen from you is a theme that we see repeated throughout not only the AOT manga, but also soundtrack and additional content too.

Eren was right that it would be Armin that saves humanity - because Armin is the one that makes the connection in paths - he understands what is being shown to him with the leaf - and tragically, it actually highlights how, even up until the very end, Eren and Armin knew each other very well. Eren trusted Armin to make sense of what he’s had to do - even if it’s only Ymir that he understands, because while Eren is the one to give Ymir her freedom and unleash this terrible devastation, Armin is the one who must stop it.

But how does this idea of family and connection tie in to the rest of the events in the chapter, and wider manga, and what’s up with Historia’s pregnancy? And how is paths going to be destroyed, if the rumbling has been stopped and Ymir is free, but the Titans are still around?

This is where the rest of our cast fit in - namely Zeke, Levi, Historia and Reiner. If my theory is correct.

Eren gave Ymir the validation she needed and that sense of connection, freeing her from her role, and this bought that final bit of time needed for Historia to give birth to her child. Why is Historia’s child important? Because it is the ‘new dawn’ we’ve seen foreshadowed repeatedly throughout the series. The birth of a new history. And this comes in the form of a new bloodline, no longer infected with ‘parasite’ of the founding Titan.

Unlike Ymir’s bloodline, which stemmed from a place of duty and slavery - as she was ordered by the king to take ‘his seed’, and carried the parasite of the creature that bound to her within the depths of the tree, creating the paths realm and an almost purgatory type space free of death or heaven or earth or anything, Historia’s bloodline will be ‘cleaned’ because of the genes of the child’s father. And not only this, it will be born out of a moment of love and connection, rather than duty. This new combination will make it impossible for a child of the royal bloodline to become a Titan. There will be no coordinate - no link for Ymir from her paths realm to the living world, because the last link to her bloodline - a Titan with royal blood - will no longer exist.

This really brings home the gravity of the moment where Levi cuts Zeke down - he’s the last of the royal Titans, but the reader knows Historia’s baby is about to be born - will they inherit the Titan, and the cycle will re-start?

They will not. The cycle will be broken with them, because - and here’s where it gets wild - Historia’s child is not a Fritz, or a Reiss - they are an Ackerman. They physically cannot turn.

Why does all this fit in symbolically? Let me draw your attention to the genre of Seikaikei.

Attack on Titan uses this idea with our two Ackermans.

We have both endings. Eren and Mikasa, our bittersweet ending, where Eren ultimately chooses the fate of humanity over his relationships with Mikasa and Armin, and Levi, who, in a moment of selfishness, allows himself to put aside his role for a night - probably at the railroad banquet, where he was supposed to be making sure the likes of Eren and Yelena were kept apart - and indulges in this connection that he’s formed with Historia. You can read my 10 reasons post if you want to for why the heck I would think these two would form a deep bond - it’s all there in the Uprising Arc. They have been the same as Ymir - yearning for a sense of love and connection, but bound by roles neither of them asked for or particularly wanted - reluctant heroes comes to mind. Remember how freckled Ymir’s parting wish was for Historia to live for herself?

The result is an accidental pregnancy which, ironically enough, is what is going to annihilate the curse of the Titans and save the world. How poetic that the Titans will not be ‘driven out’ by hate, violence, and destruction, but instead by love, connection and new life.

Remember Kenny and Uri’s miracle?

Kenny and Uri’s chapter, ‘Friends’, was exactly halfway back into the manga. History moves in repeating cycles in AOT, and we see things change slightly each time, on this journey to freedom. At this point, the Ackermans and royals were one step away from where they needed to get to in order to build this paradise - and Levi and Historia complete the cycle by becoming ‘lovers,’ tragically, the thing that Eren and Mikasa could not become, because Eren had to undertake the rumbling and be the one to free Ymir from her sorrow and loneliness. She can make the choice now - will she fight to be reborn as Historia’s child - fight for dominance with the Ackerman bloodline - or will she concede, finally laid to rest because the cycle has been broken by two people that love one another, just like the couple Ymir saw long ago and wished for.

Remember how Eren asked Zeke whether the ackermans act the way they do from a place of duty or genuine feelings? He needed to check it was the real deal that would break the curse, and finally lay Ymir to rest peacefully, after 2,000 years of hatred and searching. She will see that her descendant, Historia, finally has what she always dreamed of. That idea of dreams pushing us onwards - Ymir’s dream is realised through Historia and Levi.

As for the parasite itself? I believe Reiner will be the one to lock it in a Crystal prison with himself, deep underground.

A new dawn will come, and a new world will be built from the ashes of the old.

[marshvlovestv]

Eric in the Pod Room - An impassioned defense of a man at his worst

Big tw for discussions of suicide, suicidal ideation, and mental illness, and lots of me projecting my own issues onto a terrible fictional character

I’m in a really bad place mentally right now and I’m immersing myself in a Zero Escape Let’s Play series to distract myself from it. It definitely isn’t the healthiest thing for me to be hyperfixated on right now - the series has a chummy relationship with the concept of suicide, after all, and suicidal thoughts are my worst symptom at the moment. But you know what, it’s twisted, but I’m so dangerously comfortable with my own suicidality at this point that the themes of suicide in Zero Escape almost feel warm and welcoming, to the point where I’d even consider them a factor in why I am so obsessed with the series.

I was working on a larger meta, which most of this post is an excerpt from, about the many suicides from Zero Time Dilemma specifically - none of them influenced by Radical-6, all of them with some interesting psychological analysis to be done concerning them. But the Let’s Players have reached the Pod Room, the puzzle that seems to singlehandedly give players the most reason to hate my favorite character. They turned out to be no exception, and they spent the length of the puzzle going on and on about how they despise Eric. I got really tense and upset and thought, “You know what? Forget about Diana, Carlos, and Delta. I can talk about them later. All I want to do right now is come to Eric’s defense. I want to talk about my boy.”

Like, I get it, you know? The first time I saw the Pod Room, I wasn’t the biggest fan of Eric, either. He bullies Sean, he actively refuses to be of any help in solving the puzzle, he makes lewd comments about Mira (and for the record, the problem I have with this is the fact that he says these things around a child, not the comments themselves; people should be allowed to experience and express sexual attraction and that is a hill I will die on). After the puzzle itself, we learn about Eric’s deepest trauma and after that I see people either feel bad for hating him and begin to sympathize with him fully, or go, “Yeah, that sucks for him, but it still doesn’t forgive a damn thing. He’s the worst and I hate him and I hate this game for making him exist.” I am firmly in the first camp, if you couldn’t tell.

Lest we forget: This is the route at the end of which Eric commits suicide. A murder-suicide, granted, but still. He takes his own life. The Pod Room is the start of Eric’s descent into rock bottom and I just... can’t hate him for that, especially not when I recognize some of myself in him. I have never killed another person (I promise); I don’t have homicidal thoughts. I don’t know personally what would compel someone to commit a murder-suicide and I don’t even want to speculate. But his homicidal tendencies aside, Eric and his suicidality have always spoken to me personally.

I’ve done plenty of analysis of Eric in the past under the lens of personality disorders, and my most general conclusions are that he suffers from PTSD, dependent personality disorder, and possibly borderline personality disorder as well. Suicidality is highly correlated with all three of those disorders, and as such I find it highly unlikely that his decision to kill himself in this route is a spontaneous one. If he is anything like me, when he isn’t actively, imminently suicidal, he probably still spends a lot of time imagining worst-case scenarios in which suicide would be a no-brainer. For me, my worst-case scenarios often involve the loss of my parents; they are my Safe People, people around whom my AvPD symptoms are less extreme and my behavior is less inhibited, and I seriously fear for my ability to function without them in my life. Sufferers of many different personality disorders have “special people” like this in some way or another. DPD and BPD have, respectively, Depended People and Favorite People, the objects of the sufferer’s attachment. Mira clearly fulfills both of these roles in Eric’s life, and lots of his worst-case scenarios must involve the loss of her.

Before her death is even confirmed, we can see how much he struggles to function without her there in the puzzle room. I read Eric’s behavior in the Pod Room as him flailing in the absence of his special person. The Let’s Players I’m watching have even made derisive comments about how he doesn’t even know how to be a person, and I’m sitting here like, yeah. You’re right. He doesn’t know how to be a person, not right now. His identity and self-worth are tied to a person who has disappeared under mysterious and stressful circumstances; without her, he feels useless and helpless, which is why he’s overwhelmed by something as simple as a sliding block puzzle. Without her, he loses his grip on his self-control, which is why he has no filter to stop him from saying inappropriate things and why can’t stop his worse impulses to mistreat people. I’m not trying to say that anything he does in the Pod Room is right, but there is a reasonable explanation for why he acts the way he does.

And then, they find Mira’s body. One of Eric’s worst-case scenarios has come true, and in the process he has lost not only the person most important to him but the very sense of self that said person helped him feel. It’s just as bad as he always imagined, and even worse, she was killed in exactly the same way his brother was, triggering a PTSD flashback. His trauma is further compounded by being shown graphic video of Junpei and Akane’s deaths (and later just being shown their dismembered bodies in person).The devastation he must be feeling in this moment is beyond what I can even comprehend and I fully understand why he snaps.

Again, I don’t want to speculate as to why his mind goes “revenge first, suicide second” and why he kills people he could be reasonably sure are innocent. All I can say for sure is that, when he does ultimately kill himself, it’s not out of guilt and it’s not out of fear of consequences. His last words are promising Mira that he’ll be with her soon. The suicide is about her. It was always about her. It’s not just that he’ll miss her; he genuinely cannot picture a life for himself where she is not a part of it, at least not a good one.

(Quick sidenote here to talk about one other thing that Eric does in this route: shooting out the X-Pass authenticator. Once Mira’s body is found, six people have died, meaning that Eric, Sean, and Q are free to leave. But Eric shoots out the authentication device before this is possible. When this happened in the Let’s Play, the players called him an idiot for destroying his own means of escape, which really annoyed me. Here’s the thing: Eric is already actively suicidal at this point. He destroys his key to the outside world because he can no longer imagine a life for himself in the outside world. Shooting the authenticator was in itself an act of suicide, even though he wasn’t pulling the trigger on himself.)

All of this is not to say that Eric is okay in the true end and should be left to his own devices. He’s a man in pain, a man in constant crisis, and he’s in desperate need of intervention to prevent him from harming himself or others. I like him and Mira together and she will likely always be a special (Depended, Favorite) person to him, but he can’t and shouldn’t rely on his relationship with her to keep his head above water and keep him from acting the way he did in the Pod Room. Eric needs professional help; but call me optimistic, I think that learning from Sean about how he acted on the other routes, what it looks like when he is truly at rock bottom, might inspire him to seek that help.

Anyway. Sorry for the rant, I hope it was interesting at least. I’m going to go refill my medications and schedule an appointment with my therapist because, as fun and cathartic as this was to write, it’s definitely not healthy to get this riled up over fictional characters; plus, I can’t rightly advocate for a fictional character to get help when I’m not taking care of myself, can I?

[celestialmarks]

“I’m not the bad one here”: Muu Analysis and Interpretation

here is my personal muu analysis and interpretation. i'm really wondering: does muu really believe herself to be justified? is this a front she's presenting because her apologies remained unheard to the bitter end? is she really vindictive and somewhat indifferent deep down, or is she really pretending to protect herself? somewhat a bit of both? this is what i'll be trying to answer. i'm going to be using : - her official character intro in the character intros MV - her intro voice lines (from the official website) - her interview questions - her drama CD content basically every piece of muu extra content we've got, aside from minimal interactions from the app. AS WELL AS - her MV, After Pain, which i'm going to be deciphering based on the color coding! i don't think anyone has done this in full yet (if anyone did, i apologize)

(general TW for discussions & depiction of severe bullying)

as a general disclaimer,

i'm not going to reiterate points that have already been made. if you've looked at youtube comments of previously made analysis, it should be enough to determine what's going on. i'm interested in exploring why muu may feel justified in her actions and what the "darker" side of her is, is all.

there have been no hints as to the fact that she was a bully in the past or something. it could still come out that she was, or that her behavior was awful in whatever way (which i really wouldn't like bcse it reinforces the notion that bullied people "have to had deserved it" which is gross) and it still WOULD NOT change my opinion of her bcse she's still been through all that and pushed to the limit. at the end of the day, there's no way she lied about or downplayed this. she WAS horribly bullied and she almost died from it.

muu has her flaws, clearly. i'm just pointing out what they are here, her mentality and how it might allude to her being shown in a less sympathetic light next round, but that's it.

first, where does the "muu feeling justified" even come from?

to begin with, it's been stated in her intro "she can have a attitude at some times." it's also confirmed by the insults on the blackboard, transcribed in eng and edited onto the MV's visuals here (TW suicide baiting, self-harm baiting).

"So arrogant" as well as "are you looking down on us?" are written on the first blackboard, "eww poor people" on the second.

in her drama CD, muu also appears to be :

overly blunt at times 

spoiled. used to being treated well, since she's rich

quite manipulative, even if she's straightforward about it

i suggest u read the whole thing to get a sense of what she's like, if you haven't yet!

once again and at the risk of repeating myself... she still doesn't deserve any of what happened even if she was condescending or flaunted her wealth. which i don't even think might be the case (it's not like the bullies are objective, they're just using it as a way to justify their treatment of her. and in the MV she says herself "There's no special meaning / I just got the short end of the stick"). she's kind of naive about her wealth (see the crepe incident dfdghjd) she doesn't appear to do it to annoy others or look down on them. she's just used to a life of comfort.

moreover, it's been implied she may have been taken advantage of initially because of her wealth (see the chat on her phone and the picture of her with the three other girls, which i'll call Girl A, Girl B and Girl C for convenience's sake and also bcse the ref to dr is funny). probably her bluntness and occasional attitude caused her more problems, but i'll come back to what triggered the bullying later.

regarding her manipulative behavior, it's because she's used to getting her way (crepe incident, her telling Es she'll just make him like her : "All I have to do is gain your favour, right?"). "my sorry spells must be wearing off" in After Pain alludes to this. since she was previously quite privileged, she had never been treated like this before. even when she made mistakes she was forgiven, so she may have been a bit of an entitled brat, once again. when she starts being bullied, her world REALLY turns upside down. she's so used to getting her way that she even THREATENS Es at the end of the drama CD. we're past manipulative here. no way to know if she has done this in the past though. this might just be due to her desperation, really, but the fact that she does it right after another attempt at sweet talk does make me raise a brow

also the way she turns the tables on Es. "i won't forgive you" when she's supposed to be the one who's forgiven or not? she's rejecting the fault onto Es, just like, ALL the way through her drama CD, she's been saying she wasn't in the wrong. that's her way of justifying herself when/if she causes harm. literally she will not stop saying it : 

"I’m not the bad one here!" "I did kill them. But, they’re to blame! They made it to the point where I had to kill them… I… I had such a tough time." "Sure, I might’ve killed them, but… If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have been able to escape. The cruel things they did to me were far worse!" "If you’re gonna say that I shouldn’t have killed them, then… Are you saying that I should’ve continued suffering forever?" "Even though I’m not the one in the wrong, they want to sentence me to penal servitude… That’s so messed-up." "It wasn’t a bad thing to do, right?" "What should I do then? What should I do in order for you to forgive me, prison guard? I’ll do anything! Um… Anything painful or embarrassing is out of the question though… And, I don’t wanna do anything scary either…"

muu is DESPERATE to be proven innocent. she'll do almost anything, though she's reluctant to put herself in any situation that might be triggering for her (understandable after what she's been through so i wouldn't say she's whining here.) in one of her intro voice lines on the website she says pretty much the same thing:

That’s right. I killed someone. But I couldn’t help it! If I didn’t, there’d be no way to escape. I’m… not the bad one.

in addition, here is what we get from her intro in the character intros MV:

"Fufu... it's your fault for doing horrible things to me." → Lack of remorse ?

from her interview questions:

"The person who did something wrong should apologize first." → Waiting for others to acknowledge their faults first, bcse she doesn't want her apologies to be ignored again... and to just be mistreated again, as a result?

maybe she wants to be declared innocent so that she can finally feel like she's heard, acknowledged. so that she can feel that her pain has reached people, and she might start apologizing outwardly then too, bcse part of her's sorry. but a part of her genuinely believes she had no other choice and as such should be treated as innocent. it's kind of a complex mentality.

what i'm focusing on is that she has this belief she is justified still.

something caught my eyes in relation to that : the "thinks she's the hero" on the second blackboard. muu has a self-righteous side like futa, even if it were (partially?) a front.

also, the quote behind every inmate : "every saint has a past and every sinner has a future." muu "saved" herself by killing someone else and now has a future, so she's her own hero? perhaps. perhaps that's what is helping her cope with the crushing guilt, and that's why she's outwardly so insistent on it.

but then again, something doesn't click: why would muu be saved from killing someone? the bullying has just gotten worse. why does she seem so relieved in that situation? is it because people at least don't touch her now, because they're scared of her? she is literally getting suicide baited though... well, i have an idea. but first let's decode After Pain properly.

more substance to her feeling justified: the color coding and hidden messages in After Pain

so, here goes. on the official site, people who got the innocent verdict are shown to have green eyes, while people who got the guilty verdict have red eyes. so from this, we can deduce that innocent = green and guilty = red.

well... muu's MV is coded like that all the way through. we have a theme of greens (cold colors) VS oranges (warm colors). to represent her thoughts in relation to her actions, and others'. they’re complementary colors, so it’s rather clear cut (black and white?) the color that's inbetween is the yellow from the screen with the handwriting writing that keeps coming back as well as... yup... the yellow from the box cutter she used to kill Girl A, her crush (presumably). and the yellow that is muu's character color! so very significant. i'll analyse After Pain sequence by sequence so u can see what i mean in detail. beginning of the MV : she's sitting in the classroom alone. the first thing we see is the green hourglass = i'm innocent! and we see the orange glow of the sunset. the light isn't hitting her directly, as u can see: she's left in the shadows = blameless, the victim here. it's hitting the blackboard with all the insults, however.

together with the lyrics this scene is basically everything about muu screaming "SEE? IT'S THEIR FAULT, LOOK WHAT THEY DID. I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING." and then of course we have the first instance of the screen with writing in yellow! this one says "ねえなんで" ("say, why?") nothing surprising there so far.

then BOOM the hourglass. very very clearly depicting her pain, her suffocating and being cut from the world. and thus proving her "innocence" bcse she's trapped, in danger of choking, and helpless.

it of course covers her (more of her basically telling you she's innocent). and then it cuts to a pinker, more orange-y scene with the bullies (they're guilty!)

and WAIT A MINUTE? WHAT IS THAT? yep... the box cutter. and what color is it in this scene? orange. it was orange here.

clearly she's saying that the others are much more at fault here. when she wields it, the box cutter is of a lighter color--still a warm color, since it's yellow. but a yellow that's very close to the lime green of her hourglass, isn't it? for now let's say it represents something in between, ambivalent feelings. the writing in yellow comes back and so does the chorus (look at how much i tried to apologize and make them stop). it feels to me like that's muu taking back the mic like HEY, listen up, you saw this right. in conclusion. here it is again: look at how innocent i am! look at how much i've suffered! and thus naturally it cuts to a hourglass scene immediately after.

nonetheless, the writing in yellow says... "でもたぶん" ("but maybe...") which is intriguing.

haven't mentioned this before but obviously muu herself is a mix of warm and cold colors, aka pink (her uniforms highlights, the sleeves and tie + her hair) and green (her eyes, with a highlight of lime/yellow...) then we're back in the classroom and once again the orange light = guilt isn't hitting her directly.

and the colors picked in the LINE chat with the others areee.... naturally, green for her, pink for the others... yellow for the whole background, just as yellow encompasses the entire MV as her true feelings on the matter.

title screen in yellow then flashes yet again, followed AGAIN by the hourglass scene (muu repeating, just like in her drama CD: "yeah, here's my whole story, and i'm innocent!")

the writing in yellow says "ねえもしも" ("hey, tell me...")

the writing in yellow flashes for the FOURTH TIME and this is the most interesting instance: "それなのに" ("even so...")

this shot is doused in orange/warmer yellow on the bullies' side and in the background too. super self-explanatory really

the orange light of guilty is still not hitting muu. meanwhile on her lap...

on the left, the bullies' stockings are blue, but they have a orange hue to them. the rest of the objects here in cold tones are all related to muu or touching her. the picture on her phone is split between yellow and blue. like the blame and innocence was, back then, even/balanced in the sense of peace and quiet, or perhaps just hidden in the background before it jumped out?

she's hit by the orange light here and please look at how the bucket is not blue at all and the floor below her is more yellow. Girl A is the one to open the door, so i think this might show Girl A's POV in relation to muu. not perceiving her innocence.

Girl A's eyes here are green and yellow, so to some extent innocent but guilty in a way that is justified in muu's mind? which is why muu reaches out to her. thus here's my theory on what happened with her : muu confessed, yes. however, the girl didn't out her. especially bcse the blackboard doesn't have any mention of muu liking girls (going by the TL previously shared at least). she just started avoiding muu. given the lyrics here: Girl A used muu's attitude concerning other matters as justification for avoiding her, which kickstarted the bullying. hence "the stabbing of the little devil's voice" which references something Girl A said about her attitude, prompting the rest of their friend group to see muu in a negative light so as to side with her. (since muu's planned counterattack to what Girl A said is a suicide note, it can only be Girl A that's the "devil". the cause.)

also please note how the light is only HALF hitting the background. she's to blame, but not entirely. not yet. besides her eyes are a different shade of green than muu's: darker, far from lime. clearly just green + yellow highlight, without the blatant "innocent" of the lighter lime. entirely ambivalent!

in this shot, the light is deserting muu's eyes. no lime green or yellow here. she just has dead eyes, resembling Girl A's eyes at the end of the video. this is muu telling us that this was her last chance not to become a corpse.

then muu reaches out to the one person she could ask for help. the one person who could have cleared any misunderstanding and possibly stopped this. she's running and everything is soooo yellow and orange. EXCEPT for the bushes which are green, a firm line (literal lines!) that allude to the possibility that Girl A might change her behavior. "perhaps she'll realized she crossed the line/know where the line is and walk off this path."

however, muu steps into the light here. she's been hit by the window's light even if we can't see it, as seen by her shadow. hence, she's already guilty, it's just out of frame (she doesn't realize/know it yet.) still, note that the light hitting her is not orange but ONLY YELLOW. less guilty than the others! but the school? orange. guilty place. guilty people

Girl A is still framed by green stuff. she has a possibility of being innocent, of being forgiven by muu, but the path she's walking is orange, clearly.

we see a tiny hourglass fall off, a timid reminder from muu "i know what you're about to see, just remember i'm not to blame." and then muu reaches Girl A and the background is just SO yellow and orange for the both of them. but notice something? on muu's side the background is more yellow. on Girl A's side it gets darker, more orange.

Girl A doesn't respond for a moment and her eyes are still green and yellow! muu has hope that she might still change for the better and forgive her! see that muu's innocent!

but nope! she rejects muu! and we get this deep orange!!! NOTHING like the yellow in the background earlier! this is the last straw for muu!

contrasting with the green of muu's hourglass breaking as she hits her limit:

yellow, vengeful fire burning next to muu. it's practically shimmering as she stabs Girl A. it's so light it's almost white.

Girl A's eyes have turned orange bcse in that moment in muu's mind SHE is the guilty one. she deserves this.

while in contrast, even if the background behind muu's very orange... her eyes are glowing lime/yellow.

i hit picture limit so this is part 1! (reblogging this to add more. here is the full post with part 2 as well)

[maldito-arbol]

It is occurring to me that the events of my life over the last 2-3 months are very much blurred together in an amalgamation of trauma and dissociation and depression and I can hardly remember me at all. Hey. Sorry. I probably need therapy.

My current update on life is: still living with a friend. It seems as though my parents are content in having abandoned me and harbor no desire to apologize nor to take me back. It’s hard to accept but by no means am I surprised, I’m simply tired. I have to rebuild my own self and my own life here, where I stand now. Rebuilding is hard, but I have to keep trying. It’s the only way I can keep myself from falling off the deep end.

In regards to work, yes I did end up quitting my job. I put in my two weeks and I served them despite them many many times tempting me to just leave and never look back—no, I stuck it out, and I earned my due pay. I thought work was hard before, but it suddenly became hell on earth once I made it known I wasn’t going to let them push me around any longer. I am still trying to understand that I deserve better, am still trying to comprehend that I CAN get better…it’s a lot. I thought if I wasn’t suffering then I wasn’t worth anything at all. And that’s just the way I was raised, the way I’ve been treated all my life from school to work to home. It took me a very long time to realize the people I was around were toxic, and when I did, I felt so sick I could almost die.

Guys, I don’t know how quite to express the way I felt and the way I feel, but I thought I should maybe give you some more insight to my life in a formal post rather than just disjointed pieces in the tags of my posts. So the long story short (though unfortunately still too long) is, I was trapped in an abusive home that eventually imploded and resulted in my eviction by my very petulant mother over a barely qualified for conversation conversation about politics. Because she couldn’t stand the fact that I didn’t want to listen to her. I’d hate to imagine how she’d react if I told her I was gay, or genderfluid of all things if she reacted this way over the fact that I lean left politically. Isn’t that incredible? After all the horrible things she’s put me through, physically, mentally, emotionally, she sees fit to kick me out because I snarled “I don’t care” when she attempted to sway me. It’s funny actually. I spent so many nights crying over something so pathetic. Maybe it’s because she’s my mother and her actions directly imply that I am a child unwanted by the one who birthed them, a child who was never truly loved or cared about in the way children dream of. That undying, uncompromising, unconditional love every human being desires. And in a perfect world it should be guaranteed by a mother, but it’s not. How cruel is it that I feel more loved by my friends’ parents than I do by my own? You know no matter what, they’ll never be my birth parents. There will always be that missing hole in my heart no matter how much I tell myself this is enough. Because I feel like I don’t deserve to be loved. And yet I crave it so much. So much that I was willing to be abused, to be put down, to be the punching bag to a miserable, uncaring woman who didn’t know the first thing about love. Even now sometimes I wonder how she’s doing without me. Does she worry? Does she feel regret? Guilt? Anything? Or does she simply go about her day thinking, “it’s no big deal, I have two more children I can ream in your stead.” As for my dad, I may hold off on getting into that whole rabbit hole, because I feel like I shouldn’t even bother giving him the time of day if he barely will even give me that. He is very very very tiring, and I fear I spent too long desiring a relationship that will simply never blossom.

I thought work was my escape. I thought that repetitive tasks would help distract me from my problems, would provide me something to live for, cause gods know I couldn’t come up with a creative reason myself. And yet, in a way, being mentally shattered once again by my mother once again taught me a little lesson about the other people in my life: if they act like my mother, they’re doing something wrong. And my boss, while different in many ways, shared a core of manipulation mastery that really should’ve bothered me from the start. And because I had been kicked out, because I’d moved in with people who genuinely cared about me, all of the sudden I saw how horribly mistreated I was at work. It was easier to write it off before, when I was treated worse at home so work felt like Heaven. But it wasn’t. It never was. How many times I fooled myself into believing it was. It’s interesting how being loved and cared about can show you just how poorly you’ve had it everywhere else. So when my sister quit because of another explosion of verbal abuse from my boss, I decided that was my final sign to throw in the towel. While she simply walked off the job, I allowed my boss to keep me for two more weeks; just to be polite, just to be professional, and I may have just shot myself in the foot in doing so. It’s quite a show manipulators will put on when they realize they’re about to lose you. When holding power and the high ground over you has been torn down, ripped away from them, you see truly the desperation, the lengths they will go to restore order and control over you. I was emotionally manipulated, gaslighted, bribed even in my final days. She had power over me almost to the bitter end, because I so nearly gave up and gave in so many times. I was emotionally broken, and I still am, but what frightened me so then was that she knew my weaknesses and she knew how to exploit them. She understood I was alone and scared and still picking up the pieces in my own life, and with that understanding came not compassion but the determination to squash me underneath her thumb. I needed a whole army of healthy people in my life to beg me not to rescind my decision, to prod and poke at me to follow through with my exit in order to ensure I made it out safely, though clearly not unscathed.

Of course I’m going to continue carrying the trauma from this, but I won’t allow it to be special. I’m going to dump it carelessly into a duffel bag stuffed with every unkind word and every bruise and hit from my mother, with every humiliation and heartbreak dealt by my teachers, with every fucking dumbshit rumor and practiced bullying technique from my peers at a whole variety of different schools and clubs and camps, with every user and moocher from friend groups past, and anything and everything that has left its lovely scar be it on my skin or in my mind. You struck me hard enough to remain for the lifelong flight? Cool. You’ll find your seat in the back with all the snot-nosed children and disappointed mothers and not a good enough view to provide entertainment for the whole trip. Eat some far too salty crackers and wonder what your life has come to. I hope you enjoy.

[geekgirles]

Chloé’s redemption arc

I know I’m probably late to the party, but I’ve been meaning to do this analysis for a while, as I think there’s still much to be discussed.

When I first watched Miracle Queen, I must admit it was not in the best viewing quality possible. I watched it when it first premiered, in Ukranian (I think? Sorry, since I know nothing about the language I don’t really remember), in clips, and with lots of major events lacking. So that didn’t help improve my opinion on the episode compared to what we were promised (i.e. we were bound to cry), and what we got in Love Eater.

But I got the jest: Chloé is no longer Ladybug’s ally. 

Meaning all the time we spent hoping for her redemption was for naught.

And even so, I must admit that we should have seen it coming. Congratulations, members of the fandom who never believed in Chloé, you were proven right (this isn’t meant as a sarcastic remark, don’t worry).

What I mean to say is, the whole Queen Bee fiasco was foreshadowed during the season! Just like Chloé becoming Queen Bee was foreshadowed during season 2.

In season 2, whenever Chloé was given some focus, we got glimpses of her redeeming qualities, or aspects of her life/personality that were supposed to make us feel more sympathetic about her.

First of all, compared to season 1, Chloé didn’t cause nearly as many akumatisations in season 2, and when she caused them (directly, Malediktator, undirectly, Zombizou), she played an important role in the episode instead of being just their target.

In Despair Bear, thanks to Adrien’s coaxing, she tried to be a better person, and it probably would’ve done much more than just throwing a party, or trying to not be rude to others had Adrien hold her accountable for her actions longer (no Adrien salt, though. Just facts). 

In fact, the first hint on Chloé’s heroic side was shown then, when she actively did her best to help/save Ladybug from Despair Bear.

Then, we have Zombizou. 

True, her actions at the begining of the episode where far, far, far from heroic. Sabotaging Marinette’s present because she’d forgotten to bring one of her own was petty, mean, and childish. But she sacrifised herself for Ladybug and genuinely apologised to Miss Bustier.

In Style Queen she was clever enough to pretend to be on her mother’s side in order to prevent “being fired” by her, but she remained loyal to Ladybug and even tried to help her.

When it comes to Queen Wasp, even if Chloé’s actions were guided by the wrong reasons, in the end she acknowledged her mistakes, and even apologised. Hinting that there might actually be hope for her. Not to mention, she only used the miraculous when she was fed up with her mother belittling her in favor of Marinette, which, let’s face it, would be harsh for anyone.

And finally, we had Malediktator; the episode where Queen Bee became more than just a fantasy. That episode was the most hopeful of them all when it came to Chloé becoming a better person.

We saw Chloé displaying powerful emotions and intentions: sadness, courage, remorse...

She proved she was actually a competent wielder, and a loyal ally to Ladybug.

Heck, she was even nince to Sabrina.

See? Season 2 was meant to make us believe that Chloé’s change was possible. But season 3 threw many hints on the opposite.

In retrospective, the biggest hint would be Stormy Weather 2. 

Chloé’s actions there were inexcusable: she bullied Aurore like she messed with Ivan when he got akumatised, she kept on mistreating Sabrina, and for the first time we saw her desire to be Queen Bee again, no matter the cost. (Which would have been taken more seriously had the episode premiered after Miraculer like it was supposed to...)

And the biggest hint of all: “Once a villain, always a villain.”

Honestly, considering we already knew the synopsis for Miracle Queen then, I don’t know how we didn’t see it coming sooner...

And her interaction with Chat in Bakerix could be taken as one as well. Just like in Startrain, Chloé seemed to be starting to believe that just because she’d been previously entrusted with a miraculous, that she would always be needed. No matter the circumstances. When in truth, 90% of the time Ladybug hands out a miraculous is because she needs some very specific skills that are granted by one specific miraculous. So it’s a given Chloé wouldn’t always get the bee.

And, of course, there’s Animaestro. Besides Stormy Weather, that’s the other episode where she was like her season 1 self the most. Just because she didn’t like Kagami, and because she was jealous of her bond with Adrien, she cooked up a plan to embarrass her and even talked Marinette into helping her. Just like she would do to Marinette during most of the first season.

But because they can’t just hand us a straight up answer about Chloé being redeemable or not, they threw Miraculer and its “Chloé resisted akumatisation” scene at us. But, to be honest, considering the level of entitlement she displayed during the episode, we should have kept our guard up for the finale.

This is something that was most likely foreshadowed in the ending card:

Chloé’s back was turned on us, symbolising her future betrayal. That she would turn her back on Ladybug. The only one smiling was Hawk Moth, meaning he was up to no good. And after Sabrina had been defeated, Chloé got rid of both her picture with Ladybug, and her costume of her, signifying that she no longer looks up to her like she used to.

And, of course, there’s the finale.

Many will say it was Marinette’s fault for entrusting the miraculous to Kagami instead of Chloé, but seriously? I actually believe she made the right choice.

No matter how you look at it, Kagami wasn’t in nearly as much danger as Chloé was. Sure, Hawk Moth knows of their secret identities, but Kagami only revealed hers to her mother (who’d forgotten all about it once she was deakumatised) and Hawk Moth, whose least concern at the moment was the actual akuma battle. 

Chloé, on the other hand, had revealed her identity to all of Paris, including her parents. The ones who were akumatised at the moment. 

One could argue that was all the more reason to give Chloé the miraculous, but considering Love Eater had no qualms in endangering their daughter when she had no powers, I wouldn’t put it past them to do the same if they were to battle. And don’t forget it was them who were at fault for Queen Bee’s akumatisation during Heroes’ Day. That was Hawk Moth using Chloé’s identity against her. 

When it comes to Marinette, her only mistake was not detransforming when visiting Master Fu. Had she done it, and the most Chat and her would have had to face would be an akumatised Chloé. But not Miracle Queen. 

Was Marinette troubled by her own emotions when she picked the miraculous? Of course. But, ultimately, when it comes to her chosen, she made the right choice.

Now Chloé, despite being emotionally vulnerable, could’ve done better. After all, she managed to do so in Miraculer. She also had plenty of reasons to trust Ladybug before Hawk Moth when he was trying to manipulate her. 

I can’t take the fact that she tried resisting him at first from her, but you can’t take away from me the fact that she gave in, either.

When Hawk Moth was trying to convince her to side with him, he gave her reasons to betray Ladybug that were as easy to debunk as Lila’s lies. But just like that particular example, Chloé didn’t do something crucial; she didn’t think clearly.

“What has she ever done for you?”

“Nothing.”

That is the biggest lie I have ever heard! Not even Lila’s are that bad!

Because Ladybug had done so much for Chloé. And so many times! Arguably, Ladybug had done more for Chloé than her parents ever did.

She’s saved her countless times of akumas, many of which she’d caused.

She apologised for her mistakes (Antibug) or any action that might’ve hurt Chloé (Miraculer).

She entrusted her with a miraculous even when she had previously proved she wasn’t the smartest choice.

She listened to her problems and offered valuable advice and support.

Seriously, Ladybug has been more of a role model to Chloé than literally any other character in the show.

But did that mean anything to Chloé? 

No.

In the end, her desire to be exceptional and celebrated outweighed her admiration for Ladybug. 

In the end, the brat beat the hero.

And her immature rant and desperate attempts at the end of Miracle Queen didn’t really help either. She kept blaming Ladybug for not giving her the bee miraculous, which she constantly referred to as ‘hers’; she actually tried to grab the akuma Hawk Moth released after being defeated, she even tried to keep the Miraculous Box to herself!

Hate to say it, but it was kinda pathetic.

And, honestly? Now that she no longer has Ladybug as someone to look up to in her life, and her parents will probably be busier trying to rekindle their relationship than paying attention to her, I can only imagine she will walk down an even darker path. Especially given the debut of a new Bee Miraculous Holder.  

A miraculous holder that looks, suspiciously, a lot like Chloé. But who we know it’s not her, mainly because it’s been confirmed, and she’s been described as “very sweet.”

Now, this is mere speculation, but I believe this might actually be the true introduction of Amber Bourgeois. 

Remember her? She was thought to be Chloé’s sister and the original holder of the bee, a belief very widely spread until  the SDCC2016/17 (?), where Rena Rouge and Queen Bee were first featured.

It would actually explain Lindalee Rose’s statement; “secret siblings.” And this is perfectly plausible if we keep in mind that Félix was supposed to have been deleted when they created Adrien. But, hey! He has an entire episode dedicated to him! Crazy, right?

But back to the point. If Amber were to appear and prove herself to be way more likeable than Chloé, that would surely put her in a foul mood. Especially if she were to receive the Bee Miraculous. And I’m not even saying that Chloé has to know her sister’s her replacement to be mad!

As I see it, it wouldn’t be impossible to believe that, one way or another, Chloé had always been in Amber’s shadow, especially when it comes to Audrey and her affection. Probably, Amber wouldn’t only be nicer and generally more likeable than Chloé, she would probably be more exceptional than her, earning her the attention and approval from Audrey that Chloé so desperately seeks.

Maybe, we’ll see Chloé was so attached to the idea of being a hero because she genuinely thought that was her only chance to be something her sister wasn’t. She might have thought she could only be exceptional if she was Queen Bee.

Which will only be all the more painful when she realises that she truly has no chance to ever wield the miraculous again, not only because she betrayed Ladybug, but because she’s been replaced.

Both scenarios, losing the miraculous to another or having her sister outshine her again, would actually explain her fifth and new akumatisation in season 4.

So is Chloé really capable of redemption?

If you ask me, she is. But she’ll have to earn it as Chloé Bourgeois, not as Queen Bee or through any external help other than the hard truth.

What do I mean with this? Simple; redemptions happen when the character actually faces the consequences of their actions, consequences that are as grave as the mistakes or crimes they committed. So if we want Chloé to be redeemed, she must realise that she messed up, big time, after her actions catch up to her.

It’s for this reason why I personally don’t see a ship such as Luckloé happening. 

People argue Luka could be a good influence on her and they would really complement the other and bla, bla, bla... 

Seriously, though. What could Luka possibly do that shouldn’t have been already achieved by Ladybug or Adrien?

It’s true Luka could call her out on her flaws, and maybe she would try to be better in order to appease him. But just like with Adrien, it’d only be that, an attempt to get in their good graces again, not a genuine attempt to be a better person. Meaning, the moment Luka, or Adrien, or whoever she might want to impress forgive her, she’ll be back to being her usual self.

And don’t try telling me Luka would actually hold her accountable for her actions for more than an episode, because if there’s something that should be learned when watching Miraculous Ladybug that is that feelings can blind us.

For starters, that is literally the reason Hawk Moth even has akumas!

Hawk Moth literally depends on his victims’ hurt feelings to make it easier for him to get under their skin and get them to agree to being turned into his minions. All for the sake of revenge.

Second, although I am going to go on a bit of a tangent here, that is also what happens to those involved in this show’s complicated love story.

Surprisingly enough, Kagami is the best example. 

Despite being the most stoic one of the four teenagers that are romantically involved with each other, she allows her feelings for Adrien to blind her from things she doesn’t take kindly from other people.

For example, there’s the thing with moving on. Out of all the four of them, Kagami is the only one who’s shown no intention of actually letting go of Adrien. Because, even if Marinette and Adrien are certainly very attached to their own crushes, it’s been shown more than once that they have at least considered moving on from Adrien and Ladybug; respectively. And as for Luka, he’s made it very clear ever since Frozen that he would gladly let go of Marinette if it means she’ll be happy. Kagami, on the other hand, has made it very clear that she wholeheartedly believes Adrien and she belong together and that she refuses to let go of him entirely, preferring to wait for him to realise she’s the best choice.

There’s also the fact that Kagami’s stated many times she isn’t one to hesitate, nor does she have a lot of patience for those who do. Even going as far as saying Adrien’s hesitation was hurting her. However, that doesn’t stop her from still going after him, even when it has led her to doubt and don’t think highly of others.

See what I mean?

With this I’m trying to say that even Luka could be too blinded by his feelings for Chloé to actually make her rectify her behaviour if Lukloé were to happen. 

And there’s also the fact that if there’s any relationship she should work to mend and improve first, it should be her friendship with Sabrina.

Summing up, while I believe not all hope is lost, I also think Chloé shouldn't be entrusted with a miraculous again. She should work to be exceptional as Chloé, not as a hero. She should learn to be a better Chloé Bourgeois, not a better Queen Bee.

[mk-wizard]

Rescue Bots and BLM

Hello, dear friends of all the lovely flavors. Today, I want to address a serious topic I take to heart and how it would most likely be handled in the Rescue Bots series. That is the Black Lives Matter movement or as it is also known as simply BLM. Exploring this fan theory was a request by @ petrichornial and thank you for doing so.

I want to start off by saying that even though I’m white, I am very BLM as I believe treating everyone with kindness and justice ought to be human nature. Also, Chief Burns is a very special character to me in general because he’s a genuinely good man morally and lawfully. Anyway, onto the fan theory.

It has always been clear from the get go that Rescue Bots is a progressive series in many aspects and one of those aspects is how black positive it is. From the beginning, characters of colour were on equal footing with the white ones and were portrayed very well. In fact, even Blades the helicopter bot turned out to be brown after all this time according to his hologram. And I think they did this beautifully in how no one was shown any favour and the characters of colour were not stereotypically mistreated either. For the first time, colour diversity was treated like a natural and normal thing as it ought to be in real life.

Sadly, the real world isn’t always as kind as it should be and there is no doubt in my mind that if Rescue Bots had the chance, it would have most definitely handled BLM honourably because the Burns and Greene family are so close that they practically are family to each other. And like I said before, Chief Burns is an extremely good cop and man, so he would have the Greene’s back as well as every other black person’ back. However, he would also have to face a huge challenge because he is still a cop and just because he wouldn’t tolerate any police brutality towards black people doesn’t mean he believes it excuses excessive violence or taking advantage of riots to commit crimes on the other side of the fence. And knowing the Greene family, they would agree with Burns on this one.

To elaborate how this would most likely play out in Rescue Bots if it was introduced in the series, knowing its style and how it has firm continuity, it wouldn’t be handled in one single episode like in the old days. It probably be a two parter and the BLM issue would still be ongoing in the background. Anyway, it would all start with several incidents happening all over the news and the Burns family would become passive supporters of BLM as would most of Griffin Rock, but then one fateful day, there would be an incident (there always is sadly). Dr. Greene would be the victim of abuse by a racist police officer after committing a rather minor and harmless crime such as being wrongfully parked or something which results in him being accused of other radical things and even having his colour and background brought up. And while Doc Greene is a pacifist, he would still try to protest a little, but the cop would get even meaner and go as far as threatening him which would most likely scare his wife and daughters. The event would spark an uproar in the town of which Chief Burns would fire the cop who took things too far, but things (as always) don’t end there and the ex-cop would start lodging complaints was he was doing his job and Dr. Greene was the one at fault for refusing to comply and giving him lip. I would also think this would be the time the mayor would shine because despite everything, he is not the type to tolerate racism or police brutality so he would side with the Greenes and Burns on this one. This would drive the bad ex-cop to rally together other extremists and other racist cops that the mayor and police chief are social justice warriors. In return, the black community would protest back especially because now, they would start being treated bad a lot more and sometimes, they will retaliate in all of the wrong ways.

Knowing Chief Burns, while he would now be open about being pro-BLM, he would not consider violence as an option to fight racism and slandering, so when the two sides would attempt to duke it out, he would get in the middle of it and command everyone to go home. I think Dr. Greene would feel overwhelmed and responsible for the town controversy while his family and the Burns reassure him that he did the right thing by lodging a complaint and they all know he didn’t play victim that day. He was an actual victim of racism that day and he handled the situation gracefully. Also, the bots would feel the heat as well because they are technically not white humans and Blades specifically isn’t white at all. He is what humans would consider as brown and he wonders that if some humans were aware of that, would he be treated differently. Cody of course would reassure him that none of them or any decent person would ever judge him by what he was as they never judged him for being an alien.

Though the situation in Griffin Rock isn’t getting any better and this would drive the bots into calling up Optimus for help and he sends the Autobot most appropriate for this situation: Jazz. He would come right in the middle of a peak riot silencing everyone by getting their attention by giving them a speech on colour and society. Basically, he would point out that the entire point of BLM is to bring awareness that prejudice by way of one’s colour is still a problem in human society and many black people still get bullied or judged for simply being black including by the law and this needs to change. However, BLM is not a get out of jail free card to be violent and cruel back and being pro-BLM doesn’t mean you are any less loyal to your own “colour” or that you disregard all other injustices. And it definitely doesn’t mean a black person who really is in the wrong should be exempted from taking responsibility for their actions. Jazz would also point out that on Cybertron, they don’t just believe in technological progress, but also social progress and Griffin Rock needs to believe in it too.

Sadly, it doesn’t end with Jazz changing every human’s mind though it at least ends the riots though the issues and BLM awareness become ongoing after. Also, the bad ex-cop’s mind never changes. The good part is that Dr. Greene is inspired to become more proactive in the BLM movement by going to a website and submitting a video of him telling his story to inspire other victims to come forward, but to retaliate civilly.

The incident ends with the Burns and Greene remaining close though now openly pro BLM. The bots in turn show what each of their human hologram equivalents look like and it is revealed that after all this time, NONE of them were white. As mentioned before, Blades is brown, Boulder is Hawaiian, Heatwave Latino, and Chase is black. Cody asks why none of them other than Blades ever mentioned they were coloured. They reply that up until now, they never thought it mattered and once the whole BLM incident happened, they feared that it would start mattering but only Blades admitted it because he was the only one who they knew was of colour. After everything boiled over though, they are all reassured that it still doesn’t change anything except now that they should be open about their true colours to which Chief Burns says they always were.

And that’s the end of how I believe the episodes and series would play out. Pardon me if it is sounds a bit sensational. I also firmly believe BLM would not simply end with just two episodes because BLM is still ongoing. It would leave us with the impression that though it’s going to be a long battle, there is hope and many victories to be celebrated. That and since Jazz is the most iconic black Transformer, he would have to be showcased here.

I hope I did this respectfully because BLM is something I take to heart as I do with all humanitarian causes. I mean, I’m an artist. I love everyone and believe in love for everyone.

Support BLM, people!

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Thanks for reading and as always, stay safe. And stay kind.