#and just to be clear. I Would Not Care if they found out

[sramoonlight]

Bad feeling

What if Conner saw the light on someone?

Content you’ll see here: Conner Kent x Bat!sis, platonic!yandere!batfam, neglected reader

English it’s not my first language, please be patient

One thing you hate about your family is how they keep telling you how much they love you but then they send you to this kind of galas

They don’t want to deal with having a social persona who keeps telling everyone what they want, so they just send the least favorite

The one who they don’t care if it’s not on movie night.

You always thought it was okay, maybe one day you’ll be feeling their gratitude, so you kept telling them when you were leaving

Dressed in fancy clothes, bag in hand as you tried to catch their attention

Never works.

They say a quick bye before going back to the TV, you hate how they just act like nothing happened

Like you weren’t waiting for someone to tell you to not go, for someone to invite you to this movie night, for someone who offer you a seat next to theirs.

It never happens.

You’re their sacrifice, but maybe one day they’ll see how much you do for them

Always talking to people who try to have a place on the Wayne family, they just don’t know how neglected you are.

You sighed before taking a sip of your champagne, you just walked away from a rich couple who tried to have a relation with your family

And you can feel the urge to run, it’s getting late, you usually call Alfred to send a chofer for you (because they complained about Alfred leaving in middle of the movie)

You took your phone and then a voice made you stop your movements

— Is it my eyes or is a cutie here? — you turned, ready to face this bold guy who tried to flirt with you

Surprisingly, your eyes shined at the sight

Black hair and ocean blue eyes, locked on yours

The worst part, that smile like your attention was the best thing he could ever have

A gorgeous look, one that made you melt in an instant.

— Such a boring night, isn’t it? — he offered a hand, without hesitation you gave him yours

He kissed your knuckles, he never stopped looking at your eyes.

It made your heart beat like a lion was chasing you, you tried to ignore it with a smile but the color on your cheeks was enough to make him smile even more.

— but I must say, it got better when I saw you, Miss..? — He asked for your name with that charisma that kept on your knees

Wait, he doesn’t know your name? He doesn’t know your name!

You wiped out the blush on your cheeks clearing you throat

— (Reader) Wayne, but please just call me (reader), may I know your name? — You smiled at him, he trapped that smile and you noticed how he kept holding your hand

He doesn’t want to let your touch go..

— Conner Kent, what about if we leave this place? — you don’t know why, but you found yourself following him like your life depended on it

He’s the first man who ever looked at you for what you were and not what you could do.

By the time you were back at the manor it was passed midnight, you can hear how a few voices are on the living room and a couple of games sound

They grow old of the movie, in other circumstance you would ran to tell your father how bad the gala it was only to hear a quick “oh, must’ve been horrible, go to sleep” but now you can’t hide the smile on your face.

Floating steps as you walk to the room, Alfred was picking up the plates of popcorn before facing you

— Ah, master (Reader) I thought the gala ended at eleven o’clock — he acted like it was nothing to not noticed if you arrived or not

But now you don’t care

— Yeah, it did — you chuckled, a laugh filled with joy as you kissed his cheeks running upstairs.

— That’s new — Tim said, before going back to the game.

Everything felt like cake and stars since then, texting Conner at all times and smiling at you phone was a routine everyone looked weird

You never smiled that much, you always had a dark aura around you, it will usually grow when everyone finished their meal and you were left there eating by your own.

Now, you eat quicker than ever leaving the room in a rush while you smiled at the phone

It was weird, and still they let it pass.

Then you started dressing up, wearing perfume and you got yourself some makeup

And the worst was, you asked Bruce for some money

You were used to always shut you mouth when you needed money, because you didn’t want to be seen as a spoiled brat

But now you asked him for money, not only that, money for going out

Bruce is scared, he doesn’t know why you don’t see him with that glowing eyes anymore, he remembers how you used to look so excited when he asked you how you were

And now, it looks like he is someone else to your eyes.

You get downstairs, a scent of Chanel filled everyone’s nose

Stunning as ever but still casual, Dick had to control the ached on his heart when he noticed you were wearing makeup

— Dinner is almost ready, master (Reader), are you joining us? — Alfred said with a plate on his hand, small cookies everyone eat before dinner on it.

You fixed your hair looking at a mirror on the hallway

— Oh, I’m sorry Alfred, but I’m leaving now for my date —

And the silence was set on the room, even Damian stopped playing with Titus.

Dick was the first one to talk

— Do you… have a date? How wonderful! — that last part sounds too forced, and it was, he can’t hide the bad feeling on his chest.

You faced Alfred hugging him as a goodbye, he’s the only who doesn’t look surprised, of course you’ve told him about this days ago

— May we know who it is? — Bruce tried to wipe away the sudden jealous feeling in his chest, he stood walking to you.

You looked at him, those eyes that doesn’t shine with excitement for some attention

— You may know him, it’s Lex Luthor’s son — you smiled at the mention of him, even if it was just a mention of his father

— Conner?! — the most surprised was Tim, he tripped out of the couch before running to you

His arms trapped your shoulders as he shake you, he knew Conner was seeing someone, but his sister?

— He isn’t someone you want as your boyfriend! He would cheat on you the first week! — he doesn’t hate his best friend, but God he knows he is such a womanizer

Well, every men are womanizers if they are dating you.

Your eyes trapped how Jason left the room, good to know at least one isn’t crazy like them.

— Good, so we passed the curfew two months ago —

Two months ago?! You have a boyfriend and none of them knew? The one who is most hurt is Dick, his little sister didn’t tell him! He can understand if you didn’t tell the others, but HIM? He could’ve stop you from doing this big mistake

— Little bird, you’re too young to be dating someone — he tried with all his heart to make you realize it was bad

Not only you were dating a man, but Conner Kent! He can’t date you! You’re so small and so innocent, he can’t let him stain your pure beauty, you’re just fifteen!

— I’m eighteen, Dick — ouch, it hurt to notice how he doesn’t know a thing about you being older than that

And you’re not surprised, with a sighed you turned to see Alfred

— I’ll be back before midnight — you smiled at him ready to go, and you could see how his eyes opened wide

bang!

You felt onto the floor in a loud noise, Damian was carrying a pan on his hands, the weapon he used to knock you out

Jason behind him, leaning on the door frame

— What? You were taking too long, we couldn’t let her go out with that Kent trash — and no one complained about that

Dick picked you up, now he could see how beautiful you were looking, all of this for a boy? God no, he won’t let anyone have his gorgeous sister.

— Tim, go for the Kryptonite on the Batcave — Bruce said as he followed Dick upstairs like a worried dad, what about if you fall? His baby can’t fall, you need to be okay.

Somewhere, a place where Conner was leaning on a wall, his eyes closed

He is used to hear you before going out, it was a way for him to know when you were ready so he could just appear on your door

And he opens his eyes, a little smile on his face

— So we are fighting for her, huh? —

And he was ready for it, because the day he met her, it was the day he knew he could have a soulmate

They are not taking you from him, he worked so hard for it.

[cod-dump]

The 141 looking at videos of younger price doing things they got in trouble for and got them yelled at by price

Keepsakes

___

"God, when was the last time he came here?"

"Long enough he doesn't want to bother cleaning this shit out himself," Ghost muttered as he shoves a facemask into Gaz's hands. The dust made it necessary.

Price finally made the decision to have his old storage unit cleaned out. He himself hadn't bothered to do anything yet, but he's convinced the boys to do some cleaning for him. He gave them a list of certain things he's looking for, then to their surprise Laswell did as well. Apparently it was a shared storage unit against Price’s will.

"There's the box Laswell told us to grab for her."

Most of the videos were in boxes marked by young agent Laswell, a clear warning not to touch them to a Lieutenant Price.

As they stuffed certain boxes into the van they arrived in, Soap found an old jacket. Not worn in years, SAS embroidered on it with Price's name proud on the breast. Soap shook the thing violently, to relieve it of any unwanted bugs and dust, before put it on. Almost a perfect fit.

"Hm, think he'll notice?"

Gaz snorts as he dares to open one of the boxes, "You're him made over."

Soap grins despite the sarcasm and starts posing, earning laughter from Gaz. Ghost rolled his eyes at him while he sorted through the boxes. He finally stops next to a particular box, kicking it lightly, "Nik box."

Soap and Gaz immediately dart over. Nik was precious with his mementos. Safe guarded them like a dragon. None of them saw anything he didn't want them to see, not picture or saved bullet casing. Not a single story unless he gives it up. Laswell and Price weren't so closed off and with start up a story from asking.

"Oh- What do you think is in it?"

Ghost lightly kicks the box again before he confidently says- "Nudes."

Soap gags and Gaz cackles.

"The head of his enemies. Or their di-"

"Stop," Soap grumbles as he pulls the box to the side with some of Laswell's.

There was something precious about how close they were, Price getting a storage unit only for Laswell and Nik to shove their own things inside without care. They didn't have any doubt the only protest from Price was only a bit of grumbling before he just let it happen.

“I think Nik wouldn’t let anything… unsavory be left where we could find it. There’s no way he would forget the location of anything sensitive.”

“What if, and hear me out, he’s forgotten with old age?” Ghost countered seriously, Gaz cackling in response.

Soap opens the box without hesitating another second. Ghost and Gaz whipped their heads around to stare as Soap pulls out a large book. It was a photo album with a slip of paper labelling the front. In Russian of course, just like the writing labelling the box.

“Alright, who’s been paying attention in Nik’s sort and somewhat weird lessons in Russian?”

Ghost stares hard at the photo albums front, truly concentrating as hard as he could. Gaz stared for a few seconds, eyes flickering to Ghost a few times, like he was waiting for him to reply. He didn’t, so Gaz did.

“I think it’s along the lines of ‘my sweet John’.”

Soap gags dramatically, “God, is it actually nudes?”

Ghost hums, “It’s not like we haven’t seen them naked before.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t want to see anything else beyond basic locker room shit.”

They were delaying, even though all of them desperately did want to know what was inside. But none of them made a move, just staring at the photo album while also eying each other. After a third minute of rather uneasy silence, Ghost sighs loudly before he grabs the photo album.

“Well, might as well. What’s one more piece of trauma?”

He unties the string keeping it closed, taking a step back before taking a deep breath, bracing himself. Soap and Gaz stared at him, waiting. So Ghost flipped open the album.

“Oh.”

Soap and Gaz shared a look before looking back at him, “Oh?”

Ghost flips a page, then another, before looking up, “They’re candids. A lot of them.”

Soap and Gaz finally look, and he was right. Each page was several pictures of a young Price just existing. Some of him napping in odd places, stuffing his face with questionable looking food, arguing with a young Laswell — He was just existing. And his behavior displayed in the photos were familiar.

“Johnny, weren’t you napping under the table the other day?”

“Weren’t you stuffing your fast with the shit you found in the back of the fridge?”

Gaz takes over the photo album, fondly looking at the pictures. Several photos, if not all, were taken clearly without Price’s knowing.

“Good to know Nik hasn’t lost any love,” the countless times Gaz has caught the man taking pictures of Price without the man knowing. He really wanted to know what his photo gallery looked like.

Suddenly, Soap gasps. Gaz looks up and Soap is holding a video camera, grinning madly.

“Sex tapes.”

“Simon!”

Gaz eagerly reaches for the camera, “Let me see!”

He saw the box it came from, labelled by Laswell. It was safe to look through… maybe.

He messes with the camera, laughing gleefully when it still turns on. Ah, they don’t make them like they used to.

“This is history!”

“And blackmail,” it was clear why Ghost was here. He never would pass up an opportunity to hold something over someone’s head, even the people who could make him disappear.

Gaz selects a video and starts playing it, watching the tiny screen intently. He wasn’t expecting to witness a past event of Price arguing with a currently unknown SAS officer, one that appeared to out rank him. He was cussing the man out with his full chest, and Gaz couldn’t help but look up at Soap.

“… what is it? I hear yelling.”

“I think we took after Price more than he realizes.”

Soap and Ghost were on either of Gaz now, watching the tiny screen with their chins on Gaz’s shoulders. Gaz played another video.

This one started with the camera facing a grinning Laswell, none of them could recall ever seeing such a mischievous look on her before. The camera switches over to show Price sitting on top of a cabinet with a guitar in his arms. He was clearly waiting for someone to come through the door by the cabinet.

“Do you know how many times he’s bitched at me for climbing on furniture-“

“Shh!”

Price was grinning at the camera and Laswell, and then an infamous figure they’ve all heard of but saw few photos of walked through the door. Captain MacMillan left his mark on Price, but clearly Price also left a mark on the man. Upon entering the room, he turns to say something to Laswell, then Price aggressively started playing the guitar.

“JONATHAN YOU CUNT-“

Laswell cackles as MacMillan grabs Price’s leg, dragging him from the cabinet. The camera cuts off right as the cabinet comes down with Price, the shock on his face blurred on the screen as the video ends. Gaz covered his mouth and Ghost leaned away. Soap chose to break the silence.

“I think he would throw us into a lake with bricks tied to our feet if we showed him this.”

“Clearly we make copies.”

They knew he was trouble in his youth, but this? Oh this was hypocrisy. And Laswell was in on some of it? Oh this was blackmail for sure. Ghost got what he wanted.

“Copies, Kyle. We need copies-“

Yes, they all were in on this. This was worth it.

[biteyoubiteme]

Making out with yeonjun!! Nothing more just a hot make out session 😍

an: i dont know how this came out so long ;-; its not the best lmao i feel so stuck when i write kissing lmao but you know what making out with yeonjun would fix me and now its all i can think of. [m.list] wc: 1.1k warnings: rivals? to lovers, kissing, uuumm i think that's it lol

“You know you don't have to act like you hate me when no one else is around,” the sound of his voice cut through the rhythmic tapping of your shoe. 

You had known not to take the elevator, the constant reminder of the steady on and off out-of-service light blinking had been for well over two months. One day working, only to be caught halfway between floors the next. It had become a habit now to walk around to the other side of the building if you wanted a ride, or just to take the climb up the flights of stairs. It would burn your legs, but it would be better than being stuck here with yeonjun. 

The clock had only just hit the final hour in your overtime schedule. The city lights bright through the glass windows lining the back of your office. It had been in a moment of weakness, tired enough not to care if the elevator got stuck, if it meant you didn't have to walk down all the steps. You had almost been in the clear for the lone ride, the doors just an inch from closing, before yeonjun stuck his hand in to reel the doors back open. 

Your back had straightened, eyes narrowing as he gave you that cocky grin, “room for one more?” he knew the affect he had on you, knew it the moment he had joined your sales team and started to match your numbers and annoyingly surpass them on occasion. 

It wouldn't have bothered you much; you still hit quotas and pulled in more money than the company needed, but it was his arrogance that tipped you over the edge. So when the elevator stopped, jerking to a halt only a floor before the lobby, you couldn't help but sigh, foot tapping in annoyance the second the button for maintenance was pressed. 

“I never said I hated you,” You didn't have to look back to know he was leaning against the wall, hands in his pockets like he couldn't care less about the situation, “I do find you irritating.” 

He let out a short loud laugh like the sound had been pulled from him without him even realizing it. “Most people find me charming and charismatic,” 

“Most people, the less irritating type, don't go around listing their supposed qualities when no one asked for them,” and it was in the next laugh that you decided to shut him up. The way he found your annoyance funny ticked that internal clock of yours, counting down the seconds to blowing up. 

You didn't even listen to what he came back with. The words cut off the second you turned and leaned into him, his surprised hum caught right on the edge of your mouth. And he didn't even push you away, one hand coming up, ghosting over your cheek before you pulled away. “Now, will you shut up?” 

The kiss had effectively worked to quiet him, his eyes hazy and blinking at you like he was coming back from somewhere he never expected to go. In the half-second move to turn back around, yeonjun had caught you like he had the elevator, hand swift in pulling you back to him. 

He gave you no time to breathe, his mouth on yours, stealing your muffled shock. It had never crossed your mind if yeonjun would or would not be a good kisser; it was written into everyone's mind that he must be, especially when he always kept that teasing smirk right on the edge of his mouth. 

It was on instinct to want to reach out to you, his hands finding your waist, sliding along the smooth material of your work shirt. The elevator was too small to go anywhere but up against the wall. Yeonjun was effortlessly addictive in seconds, a hit that melted your body against his, destroying your inhibitions. 

Only a moment ago, you were annoyed, tired, and wished to be anywhere but here with him. Now your hands were curling along his neatly placed hair, tangling up in the strands while he chased your lips for more with every breath you pulled away to take. 

It was easily passed as a moment of weakness if it had stayed with nothing more than a fleeting lapse in judgment. But neither of you pulled away, not when he gave you the opportunity and started to kiss down your jaw, down your neck. His lips leave a trail over your pulse, your soft whine so loud in the cramped space. Yeonjun pressed his hips closer to you, locking you in place as if he could trap you right there, as if he could keep the sounds you made for him alone. 

When he pulled away, fingers still digging into your hips, your tucked shirt half pulled from the waistband of your skirt, the two of you blinked back in silent shock. His lips a deeper red, soft and flushed from the kissing, his eyes tracing over your features as the two of you looked back at what you had done. 

And neither of you cared, not when you tugged him back to you. The entirety of him devouring you up, trying to savor the moment as if you would push him away at any second. Because kissing you had been on his mind for longer than he'd care to admit, and even if you had done it to shut him up he would only get worse with annoying you if this was his reward disguised as nothing more than a petty punishment. 

But it was over too soon, the elevator jumping back ot life, pouring a bucket of ice water over the two of you. Caught in front of no one but each other. Both of you mess, silently agreeing to ignore what had happened as you pushed your hand back through his hair, only this time to put all the strands back into place. His fingers were steadily helping to tuck back in your shirt as if he wasn't doing the opposite of what he wanted. 

“Back to pretending you hate me?” his brows jumping up in question as you rolled your eyes. 

“Still undeniably annoying, people like you shouldn't be so good at kissing.” You smoothed your hand over his tie, needing some distraction as the elevator dinged right at the lobby. 

“People who are charming, charismatic, and handso-” he was leaning back in, nose dipping just enough to pull you back in before you pushed him away. He knew the trick to your weakness now, and it was hard to resist him when knowing the outcome. 

“Still annoying, goodnight yeonjun,” casually thrown over your shoulder as you tried to rush right out the door.

[jxwl4k]

Hi hi!!!

Can I request bakugo x reader where reader always wears glasses. Then one day they either lose or broke it so they have to navigate the school completely blurry because of poor eyesight,like full on tripping and bumping onto something/someone. And then Bakugo just guides them throughout the school to buy a new one. Also it would be a great time for bakugo to really look into the readers eyes without the glasses 😝😝

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ Through blurry eyes .𖥔 ݁ ˖

☘︎ . . . genre. fluff

☘︎ . . . pairings. bakugou x reader

☘︎ . . . requested? yes by anon

⤿ yn loses their glasses, and bakugou helps them navigate school.

It was a typical morning at U.A. High, and you were already running late, as usual. You rushed through your dorm room, stumbling around in your half-dazed state, trying to find your glasses. Your hands swept across the desk, the bed, and under your pillows, but they were nowhere to be found.

“Damn it!” you muttered under your breath, panic creeping into your voice. You needed your glasses, especially since your eyesight was awful without them. It was like looking at the world through a foggy window, everything just a blur of colors and shapes. You weren’t blind, but it sure felt like it.

You grabbed your bag and rushed out, hoping you could make it through the school day. But of course, fate had other plans.

The moment you stepped out of your dorm and into the hall, the entire world felt like a giant blur. You squinted, trying to make out anything in front of you, but everything was just a confusing swirl. You kept walking forward, but it was like you were walking through a haze, bumping into walls, desks, and.. oh, no someone’s foot.

“Watch where you’re going, idiot!” a familiar voice yelled.

You winced, recognizing the voice immediately. It was Bakugou, of course. You blinked, hoping your blurry vision would clear for a moment, but it didn’t.

You mumbled an apology, but Bakugou wasn’t having it. “You okay, dumbass? You look like you’re about to trip over your own feet.”

“Yeah, I… uh, I can’t find my glasses,” you admitted sheepishly, feeling embarrassed. “I can’t really see anything.”

Bakugou scowled, but it was more out of concern than annoyance. “Damn it, you really can’t do anything without those things, huh?”

You offered a weak shrug. “I guess so…”

Bakugou let out a frustrated sigh. “Whatever, just follow me.”

Before you could protest, you felt his hand grab yours, pulling you along. You couldn’t see his face clearly, but the way he was guiding you through the hallways was… different. His usual fiery, aggressive demeanor had softened, and you couldn’t help but notice how gentle his grip was.

“Come on, we’re going to get you new glasses,” he said, his voice softer than usual.

You stumbled behind him, still unsure of where you were going, but Bakugou was surprisingly careful with you. He didn’t let you crash into anything again, leading you through the halls and down the stairs. His hand remained securely in yours as if he was determined to get you to safety.

As you approached the school store, you were still squinting and struggling to make sense of anything, but Bakugou was there, every step of the way. He helped you through the door, guiding you to the section with new glasses.

When you stood there, looking at the frames in front of you, you noticed something different. Bakugou, the guy who usually had his guard up around everyone, was actually looking at you really looking at you. Without your glasses, your eyes were the only thing he could focus on.

You felt self-conscious under his gaze, but there was something in his eyes that made you feel warm. Maybe it was the way his sharp, intense eyes softened just a little. Maybe it was the way he wasn’t yelling at you for once.

After what felt like forever, Bakugou picked out a pair of frames for you, nodding in approval. “These ones will suit you, dumbass,” he grumbled, though there was a hint of something kind in his voice.

You blinked, suddenly feeling the weight of the moment. “Thanks, Bakugou.”

He just huffed, clearly trying to hide whatever softness was creeping into his expression. “Don’t mention it. Just make sure you don’t lose them again, alright?”

You smiled, feeling a little more at ease. “I won’t,” you promised, relieved that you could finally see clearly again.

As you left the store, Bakugou walked beside you, still not letting go of your hand. The world around you was clearer now, but there was something even clearer in your heart. Maybe it wasn’t just the glasses that helped you see everything differently.

© jxwl4k 2025

[yukioos]

when you’re teasing eijiro but he doesn’t realize it

in your eyes, eijiro was the best boyfriend ever. he was attentive, caring, handsome, smart, strong, funny, and everything a girl could wish for. he treated you like an equal, sometimes even higher than him, as if you were a goddess. you were all he ever wanted, and it was clear through how he treated you.

he’d shower you in multiple compliments every day, commenting, ‘you look really pretty today,’ when you didn’t even change your looks, or complimenting you on a cute shirt he bought you. he didn’t have one specific love language, often always having a hand on your body, whether it was holding your hand in his or a kiss on your cheek. sometimes he would just like to lay with you in silence, enjoying your presence more than anything.

a light in his eyes would always flicker when you reciprocated his love, and his lips would always shyly stretch into a smile. even if you just gave him a simple and quick peck on the cheek, he would grin like he was the luckiest man in the world. which, he believed he was indeed the luckiest man in the world.

so you began to take it a step further, rather than leaving in the middle of a hangout with a quick peck on the cheek before fighting villains for a quick mission, you would let it linger, knowing you’d be able to defeat them. a few more seconds of intimacy wouldn’t hurt.

eijiro noticed the change in time but didn’t think much of it. maybe you noticed how happy he was whenever you showed the slightest ounce of love towards him, so you did it more often. he also saw how you would always move closer to him even if you weren’t talking, just wanting to feel his body heat radiating off of him, a reminder that he was close to you.

and you began to give him gifts more often, sometimes it was just a cool rock or a keychain from a store you found on patrol. he would normally display it somewhere in his room, but again, he didn’t think much of it. you probably just had a switch go off in your brain to be more affectionate, maybe.

however, the days were becoming even more frustrating. eijiro wasn’t confronting you about your teasing behavior, how your lips would linger on his neck a few seconds too long in public. maybe he thought your affection was normal, and that’s why he wasn’t bothered by it. weirdly enough, it was a bit reassuring that he wasn’t grossed out by your behavior.

sooner or later, your ‘teasing’ behavior wasn’t so much a joke anymore. your hand would linger on his bare, sweaty chest after he worked out, and your eyes would run up and down his body, more interested in his stylish outfit than anything else.

so the two of you lay on the couch in the common room, across from each other but legs on each other’s. both of you were on your phones, scrolling through social media when you came across a post that made you think of eijiro. the ‘spin fifteen times and try to kiss’ trend, specifically.

the girl and boy spun, giggling as it was sped up, and after fifteen spins, they wobbled over to each other, the boy kissed her forehead and the girl kissed his chest, and both of them fell to the ground.

you giggled and sat up, eijiro immediately doing the same. your laugh was music to his ears, and he would die to hear it again.

you scooted over to his side of the couch and lay your legs over his thighs, then suggested, “eiji, we should do this trend!” and showed him the video, as your whole body was almost on his, chest pressed against his own.

he watched the video in awe. it was adorable, and he immediately nodded. “hell yeah, babe! that was so cute!”

his sharp teeth shone in the sunlight, and his eyes squinted, he truly was happy with you.

hey sorry this was short but here’s the eijiro version of him getting teased. also, i will most likely not be posting as often because i have long requests i am working on, so it will take longer for me to work on my writings. sorry i posted this late by the way.

[jeonscatalyst]

I normally don’t involve myself in the politics of this fandom, but everything that has unfolded over the past few days has left me utterly dumbfounded.

Anyone who refuses to acknowledge that this fandom has always treated Jimin differently is either extremely obtuse or simply unwilling to accept what is right before their eyes.

Before these AMA nominations, Namjoon had been nominated for numerous fan-voted awards, yet this same fandom never bothered to lift a finger for him, forget about awards, they don’t even care to stream Namjoon’s music. Now, they claim they want to rally behind Namjoon because they already “gave” Jimin a Daesang….but let’s be honest here.

Back then, Jimin was never the chosen one. The so-called agreement was that the fandom would rally behind whoever had the highest chance of winning and it just so happened to be Jimin. Even then, the majority of the fandom was against voting for him. During the TMA Popularity Award, when both Jimin and Yoongi were nominated and had the highest chances of winning, this same fandom chose to vote for Yoongi and were angry when Jimin emerged as the winner. So, my question is: when has Jimin ever truly been the fandom’s chosen one?

Let me be clear-I have no issue with people wanting Namjoon to win. He absolutely deserves it. He has deserved so many wins in the past that the fandom failed to show up for.

Where I take issue is with the sudden urgency this fandom has now found and, unfortunately, it is not driven by pure intentions. Eighty percent of the people rallying are not doing so because they believe Namjoon deserves this win; they are doing it because they do not want Jimin to win. I can bet my last dollar that if Namjoon were up against any other member even Jungkook or Taehyung who are part of the maknae line, we would not be seeing this frenzy.

There’s another fan-voted award happening right now where Namjoon is losing. If this push were genuinely about supporting him, they would be rallying there too. But they’re not because Jimin isn’t competing in that category.

Namjoon winning this award would be a beautiful and deserved moment. For years, he carried BTS on his back, shielding the group and members even when he himself was just a kid. His music style may not be the most crowd-pleasing, but he is undeniably talented and gifted. He deserves this win and many more to come.

Jimin deserves a win too. And if only people knew how to recognize that both are deserving without throwing shade at either, we would be in a much better place.

The reality is: winning for Namjoon would be wonderful, but the intentions behind pushing for his win are tainted. If you are only trying to get someone to win because you want the other person to lose, are you really doing it for them….. or for yourself? And the danger of acting out of spite is that you lack true commitment and passion.

I had to chuckle when I saw certain solo fandoms suddenly rallying for Namjoon. It’s honestly laughable because everyone including Namjoon-biased ARMYs and solos…..knows those other solos couldn’t care less about Namjoon.

The only reason they are participating is because they share a common hatred for Jimin. They don’t truly care whether Namjoon wins or loses…they only care that Jimin doesn’t win.

Any other winner would make them just as happy. Don’t even be surprised if some of them pretend to support Namjoon publicly but then cast their votes for any of the other groups or artist in the same category. It’s truly pathetic behavior.

Some might ask: what did Jimin ever do to this fandom to deserve this treatment, as if he were the fifth member of Blackpink?

The short answer is: NOTHING. He never did anything wrong.

Their real issue with him is that he exceeded the expectations they set for him. Had you told most ARMYs years ago that Jimin would perform the way he does today, they would never have believed it.

The problem with this fandom is that it moves like a cult….and not in a good way. They are rigid and resistant to change. Once they accept a narrative, they refuse to let it evolve.

For instance, it’s widely accepted that Hobi is the best dancer in BTS, and even the members acknowledge this. That’s perfectly fine. But it should never be a reason to harass those who think Jungkook or Jimin or others are better dancers.

People have different tastes.

I personally think Hobi is an incredible dancer, but I prefer Jungkook’s dance style the most, with Jimin as a close second. Does that make me any less of an ARMY or a Hobi hater? No. And for the record, Hobi is one of my top three favorite members….he’s my bias wrecker.

This fandom spent years labeling Jimin as only the third most popular member because they cling to their narratives, refusing to allow space for growth. When Jimin surpassed their expectations, they resented him for it, because they had already assigned him a place, and they didn’t want him to step beyond it. To them, he already has more awards than they ever thought he should have….so now they believe it’s their job to ensure he doesn’t win any more.

It’s truly sad.

I see some people saying that Jimin-biased fans are being weird or acting like antis because they’re upset at how things are unfolding.

I’m not speaking for solos here, but I think the real issue for Jimin-biased fans is not that people want to celebrate Namjoon but that they are only pushing for his win because they don’t want Jimin to have it.

That’s what frustrates me and many others.

And let’s not even start on how shady people have been toward Jimin especially those proudly yelling “we gave him a Daesang” when they didn’t even vote for him in the first place.

It’s perfectly fine to rally behind Namjoon and give him the win he deserves but let it be because you believe in his talent and contributions, not because you want to stop someone else from winning. Otherwise, your motivation is hollow and ironically, it only pushes Jimin-biased voters to work even harder, if only to ensure that Namjoon doesn’t win either.

I know change doesn’t happen overnight, but this fandom needs to stop behaving like a cult and start allowing people to think and act for themselves.

We can be united and support all the members while recognizing that not everyone has to see or do things the same way. Disagreeing with the majority doesn’t make someone an anti of the group or of any particular member.

[etherealising]

interlude one | my everything...

masterlist | ↢ previous chapter | next chapter ↣

pairing(s): carmen 'carmy' berzatto x fem!reader | fem!reader x original male character | the bear x fem!reader

summary: all it takes is one question from the girl carmy's been crushing on to send him spiraling. or, alternatively; the beginning of the end of your friendship with one carmen berzatto.

warning(s): vague mentions of terminal illness | talks of death |minimal editing |

wc: 8.7k

May 2013

Carmy stood behind your sitting figure, his arms caging you against the counter while his chin rested on your shoulder. He was doing his best to keep up with your corrections and explanations of the mind map he'd made for his English final analysis, but for the life of him, he just couldn't seem to follow along.

He let his eyes drift to the clock on the wall for a moment noting that you still had 30 minutes left in your shift, the restaurant was pretty empty allowing the two of you to squeeze in some time for your studies, which he appreciated considering he needed all the help he could get and it didn't hurt that it allowed the two of you to hang out. Something he was doing his best to take advantage of while the two of you were still in the same city, with graduation just a month away, he'd be leaving soon, a fact he seemingly forgot to bring up whenever he was in your company.

"Carmy, c'mon, I thought you were serious about this." Carmy was pulled from his thoughts as you spoke, eyes moving from the clock on the wall, only to find your head turned in his direction, your face just centimeters from his. "You're not even listening to me."

He found himself smiling at the slight whine in your voice and the adorable pout lining your lips, he could recite bits and pieces of the monologue you gave him if you asked him to and it wasn't because he gave a shit about The Illiad but he cared about you and he appreciated the time you were taking away from your own finals preparations to help him out.

"You know I always pay attention to you," his smile widened at the sight of you rolling your eyes and grumbling under your breath before moving to wrap one of his arms around your shoulders and pulling you into his chest for a hug, you tilted your head back to look up at him as he looked down on you. "Awe, c'mon, I promise, Baby."

Carmy watched as a small smile lined your lips, waiting for you to respond, only for the sound of a throat clearing to pull him from the trance he found himself trapped in while staring at you. His eyes shot forward, widening as he took in the figure standing opposite the two of you, before he rushed to distance himself from you, trying to ignore the subtle frown beginning to overtake your features.

"Um, I'm sorry for interrupting, but I was hoping I could put in an order." Carmy stood there, unsure of what to do with himself as he listened to you transition back into customer service mode.

"Claire, hey! Of course, what can I get for you?" He wasn't aware that you were on a first-name basis with the girl, but he drowned out the conversation happening in front of him and dropped his gaze to the ground in hopes it would make him less noticeable, wishing he could sneak off to the dining area without making a complete and utter fool of himself. By the time he raised his eyes, he found himself alone in the front of the restaurant with Claire gently smiling at him as the two of them stood in an awkward silence.

"So, um, how long have the two of you been together?" At the sound of Claire's question, Carmy furrowed his eyebrow, unsure if she was asking what he thought she was. The confusion on his face must have alerted her to his lack of understanding as she spoke up again. "She's your girlfriend, right? Sorry, it's none of my business."

He watched the way she shrank in on herself, adjusting her glasses as he tried to come to terms with the fact that he was talking with a girl who wasn't you, a girl who he'd been crushing on for longer than he could remember. And that thought alone prompted his response.

"No!" He silently cursed himself at the way his loud voice caused Claire to flinch before finishing his explanation. "Sorry, uh, yeah she's my girlfriend...not, n-no I mean she's like my girl w-who is also a friend." Carmy watched as she nodded, a feeling of warmth blooming in his chest even though the conversation wasn't off to the greatest start.

"Oh...okay," neither of them seemed to know how to keep the conversation going as they avoided each other's eyes, silence settling around them. "What's with the whole 'Baby' thing if you don't mind me asking?"

He nodded, taking a step closer to the counter so he wouldn't have to speak so loudly, "It's a uh nickname."

"Like 'Dirty Dancing'?"

Carmy offered Claire a small smile and nodded before another idle silence pierced through the front of the restaurant. He could hear everyone shuffling around in the back, sure you were helping to get the big dinner order Claire put in finished, so she didn't have to wait much longer.

"I've had a few classes with her, she's really nice and pretty cool to talk to." Claire seemed to be growing more comfortable with the conversation, which only helped to make Carmy feel a bit more confident in the whole situation. "I'm sorry for assuming the two of you were together, I just...I see you hanging out all the time, and well, everyone kind of thinks you're dating, so...yeah."

The smile on Carmy's face dropped, giving way to a frown. This was news to him, but it made sense considering he was a bit of a loner outside of having you and Fak. "We uh grew up together, you know...so guess that kind of explains it. But, I-I don't really think I could ever see her that way, s-she's my best friend I mean but I would never want to be with her i-in that capacity or any other," he trailed off hoping his words sounded as convincing as he was trying to make them seem even though he could feel doubt creeping up on him.

Before he could hear Claire's response, you walked back to the front with to-go bags in hand and began ringing Claire up.

"Sorry for the wait." Carmy found himself disappearing into the background once more as you and Claire engaged in conversation. He couldn't explain why, but Claire's theory surrounding the two of you kept pushing to the forefront of his mind, and he found his gaze drifting to the back of your head as her words rang in his ears. Carmy would be lying if he said he'd never thought of you in that way or didn't have the occasional inappropriate dream, but he chalked that all up to just being a teenager with hormones.

"Bye Carmen...I'll see you at school." He looked at Claire in surprise before sending a shy wave in her direction and watching as she left the establishment, hoping she didn't notice the flinch at the use of his full name, something he only tolerated from you.

He stood there for a moment longer before moving to collect his school supplies and help you wipe down the counters as he usually did whenever he was your ride home. You disappeared into the kitchen before returning with a bucket and rags, the two of you working in tandem to get everything clean, and all the while, all he could think of was what life would be like if the two of you were more than just friends.

Carmy's vision was blocked by the feel of two soft hands cupping his eyes and blocking out any sunlight. He felt his body relaxing back into yours, only knowing it was you because he could smell the perfume you always wore.

"Guess who?" Carmy felt himself involuntarily shudder as your whispered words caressed his ear, his heart beating just a bit faster. A sense of confusion raced through him, surprised by his reaction considering the number of times you'd done this before.

He reached up, gripping your hands and pulling them off his eyes, forcing you to slouch over his back as he pulled your arms down his torso. "I dunno, you kinda sound like this girl that pelted me with potatoes when we were six because I wouldn't play with her."

Your soft laughter rang through Carmy's ears while your arms moved to wrap around his shoulders as you hugged him from behind. He found a smile growing on his face when your face dropped next to his, your own smile on full display, "See how much more fun it is when you actually play along, Bear?"

Whatever reply Carmy prepared was stolen by the feel of your lips ghosting across his cheek, he felt like his heart was going into overdrive as he watched you walk around the table before sitting down across from him. He could tell you were speaking because he could see your lips moving, but the ringing in his ears made whatever you were saying to him incomprehensible. He began subtly shifting in his seat while looking at your lips, remembering just how it felt when they touched his skin moments ago. Carmy was confused, a constant feeling for him ever since his conversation with Claire at The Beef; you'd kissed him on the cheek plenty of times before and he never reacted in this way and he couldn't quite put his finger on what was so different this time, but he needed to figure it out and fast.

"So, have you given prom any thought? Tickets go on sale tomorrow." Your voice pulled Carmy back to reality as he reached for the flyer you slid across the lunch table and began to read the information on it. He knew how much you wanted to go and though he didn't understand your excitement for the event he found himself wanting to go just because you did, Carmy shrugged his shoulders letting the paper drop to the table before gearing up to ask if the two of you should go together only to be stopped by Fak's frantic arrival.

"Baby! Bear!" His lunch tray slamming against the table had you jumping in surprise, leg knocking into Carmy's under the table, before his foot gently tapped the top of yours for reassurance. "I have been sitting on the hottest piece of gossip all day, and now that we're all together, I can finally share."

Carmy listened as you laughed at Fak's eccentric behavior, his eyes being drawn to your smile, feeling one tug at his own lips. "Well, what is it?" The curiosity of your question was mirrored on your face as you looked at Fak, who had taken the empty spot next to Carmy, anticipation seeming to drip off of you.

"Alright, so get this, Claire's cousin Big Denny is dating Frannie's best friend Carla, but Frannie and Big Denny are sneaking around behind Carla's back. And so, because of that Big Denny's at the house sometimes," he paused his explanation to take a bite of his food, hardly giving himself time to finish chewing before he was talking once more. "And so last night Frannie and Big Denny were arguing because Carla found out that they were seeing each other because Josie, Carla's sister who also happens to be Big Denny's ex-wife, and he are sleeping together again, and Big Denny tells Josie everything. And Josie and my mom get their nails done at the same salon, and you know who else gets their nails done there?"

Your hand slamming down against the table in excitement drew a chuckle out of Carmy as he watched you become engrossed in Fak's storytelling. "Carla!"

"What? No Baby, Claire's mom. Why would you guess Carla?" Fak rolled his eyes as though the answer he'd just given even made any sense in the storyline he set up. "Anyway so they're all there getting their nails done, gossiping like us and Claire's mom told my mom that Josie told her that Claire told Carla that Carla told Big Denny that Big Denny told Josie that Claire has been crushing on somebody named Carmen for like months but she never made a move because of his girlfriend but turns out he's single and now she has a shot!"

As the confusion from the explanation cleared from Carmy's system, it gave way to shock as he finally internalized what Fak just admitted, his eyes widening at the new information he learned. He let his eyes stray to you for a moment, instantly clocking the way you seemed to physically deflate, your hand that was on the table now picking at the prom flyer you'd brought with you earlier. When you looked up and locked eyes with Carmy, he watched the forced smile grace your face, knowing that something soured your mood but unsure as to what it was.

"That's really great news for you, Carm, you'll finally get your chance with her." Carmy nodded along to your words, absentmindedly brows furrowing as his eyes danced across your face, hoping to detect some sort of evidence that would help him to understand your change in attitude.

Silence blanketed the table after your congratulations, and Carmy just couldn't wrap his head around the revelation Fak's words brought forth.

"You know, Carm, I thought you'd be more excited than this. I just hand-delivered the most top secret information of my life, and lemme tell you, Bear, it was not easy to come by." Fak resumed eating his lunch, all the while shaking his head in Carmy's direction.

Carmy was excited...at least that's what he was telling himself, but every so often, he would steal a glance at you, and then you were all he could think about. He'd been crushing on Claire for longer than he could remember and to know that he was even on her radar should have put him on cloud nine while he was surprised by the notion that she liked him he just couldn't get over the disappointment he felt every time he looked in your direction and you weren't smiling.

"No offense, Fak, but your storytelling skills could use some work." You shrugged your shoulders at Fak's offended look before reaching to steal one of his cheese fries. "You definitely buried the lede on that one."

A back-and-forth ensued between you and Fak as Carmy sat lost in his thoughts. All the truths he thought he knew about himself seemed to fall apart anytime he let his mind play with the idea of something more between you two. It was all so confusing from the wistful ideas Claire's words about the two of you at The Beef brought up, to his reluctance to feel excited at the opportunity to maybe have a chance with Claire Dunlap if Fak's information was correct. And like clockwork, all his thoughts and confusion kept leading him back to you.

Carmy was pulled out of his subconscious as a body plopped down in the seat next to you, his confusion easily giving way to frustration as Hayden's arm moved to wrap around your shoulders, pulling you flush against him. Carmy didn't think he was a hateful person, and he didn't hate Hayden Ivanovski, but the guy sure did know how to get under his skin without even trying.

Hayden was a recent addition to your trio, and Carmy hadn't minded his company at first. But after a whole school year of watching the two of you share inside jokes he and Fak weren't privy to, the way he constantly touched and flirted with you only helped to fester Carmy's aversion to the guy.

"What gossip did you bring for us today, Fak?" The teen in question straightened up as he began his spiel once more from the top. Carmy didn't hate Hayden, but he hated how charming and charismatic he was, he hated how easily he fit in with your group, and he hated that, overall, Hayden was actually a pretty good guy. But most importantly, he hated the way Hayden would sometimes whisper something in your ear and the way you would lean into him as you laughed, how sometimes you would burry your face in his chest while other times you would look at him with that beautiful bright smile of yours like you were doing right now.

Watching you smile at Hayden with the beaming smile that was once only reserved for Carmy was crushing, and just like everything else, he couldn't understand why.

"Yo, Carm, you listenin' man?" Hayden's fist knocked against the tabletop, letting Carmy know that Fak had finished his retelling. "Said if you're gonna make a move," he watched as Hayden's eyes dipped to the prom flyer, eyes widening as a lightbulb moment went off in his head as he reached for the paper. "Oh shit man, you plannin' to ask her to prom?"

Carmy wasn't sure what to say as everyone at the table awaited his reply, he looked in your direction as if doing so would provide him with whatever answer he was looking for but all he could seem to focus on was the soft features of your face as he began silently dissecting what was so different between this version of you and the version he drew in charcoal.

"You totally should, Carm that's like the best start to any love story." Fak's declaration of excitement pulled Carmy from his study of you, but not before he watched the slight downturn of your lips and the lack of any readable emotion take over your face.

He caught Hayden nodding along before leaning over to high-five with Fak for god knows what, all the while he seemed to be the only one who noticed your lack of interest in the conversation. Carmy tuned the two of them out as they continued a conversation about the event, and all he really cared about in that moment was figuring out what was going on with you. Carmy nudged your foot, catching your attention, brows furrowing as he implored you to give him any sort of hint, wishing for nothing more than for Fak and Hayden to disappear.

"Claire! Hey Claire!" Carmy's head shot in Fak's direction, watching as he stood waving his hand back and forth in the air to flag down Claire from across the quad.

Carmy felt like an asshole as he watched her approach but the last thing he wanted to deal with in that moment was anything Claire related and considering she'd already seen him at the table it wasn't like he could just up and leave.

The clearing of your throat pulled his attention as he watched you gather your belongings, eyes glued to your backpack as you packed your items. You finished just as Claire arrived at the table, standing and turning to smile at her.

"Here, take my seat. I was just leaving to speak with my guidance counselor."

Carmy frowned at your words, knowing full well they were an excuse, because you were dodging your counselor at every opportunity. Watching as you walked away, he couldn't help the feeling of disappointment beginning to take root in him. He wanted nothing more than to catch up with you and make sure you were okay, but he knew doing so would likely end up feeding Claire's previous theory about you and him. 

Your figure disappeared into the distance, forcing him to focus his attention on the conversation that Fak and Hayden started up with Claire. He sent her a small welcoming smile as he caught her eye, hoping he didn't appear as awkward as he felt. As the lunch period dragged on with him adding little to nothing of substance to the conversation, he found himself grateful as Fak waved off his lack of talking as being shy when in reality, he just no longer had any interest in even being there.

As Carmy sat there, forcing himself to try and be an active participant in the conversation, he realized that he didn't have things all figured out like he once thought. Because instead of being in the moment and getting to know Claire better, he wanted nothing more than to be by your side, providing you the comfort that you seemed to need.

The sound of your bedroom door opening pulled your attention from the history DBQ you were dead set on completing before heading out for dinner at the Berzattos. Upon glancing up you spotted Carmy stepping into your room, sending a small smile his way before returning to your school work.

"My mom send you to come get me?" You had a habit of losing track of time when you wanted to get something over and done with, having been late to dinner a multitude of times after telling your mom you'd meet her across the street.

Carmy's face appearing in your line of sight made you smile as you stopped writing so he could make himself comfortable next to you, watching as he copied the position you were lying in before snatching up one of the stuffed animals situated at the head of your bed. Not surprised to see he picked the one he'd bought you for your birthday.

"No, uh, I came over on my own, feel like I've barely seen you this week." You watched as he glanced at your assignment, pulling it over to see it better before scrunching his nose up and leaving it alone.

As much as you didn't want to admit it, you knew you were avoiding him. Ever since Fak spilled the beans last week at lunch, you knew Carmy and Claire were hanging out more, and you weren't sure how to navigate being around him now that he had a chance for something to happen with the girl. You told yourself you were doing him a favor, taking yourself out of the picture so he could finally get what he longed for, but in reality, you did so in hopes of protecting yourself from the heartbreak you knew seeing him happy with someone else would bring.

"Yeah, sorry, just kind of been putting all of my focus into passing my finals," you sent him an apologetic look as you lied through your teeth and pushed your homework out of the way before turning to lie on your side so you were facing him. "But talk to me, Bear, what's going on with you?"

Carmy mimicked your position and hugged the stuffed animal to his chest as he looked at you. "I kinda have uh this dilemma...a girl dilemma." You nodded along to Carmy's words, encouraging him to let you know his issues.

"Well, uh, I think... no, I know I like Claire, b-but recently I've been...having doubts, I guess. I mean I still think Claire's really cool a-and pretty and it's nice talking to her, but I just...I'm confused." You forced your feelings for the boy in front of you to the back burner, not wanting to be selfish in whatever advice you could offer to him.

A moment of silence passed between the two of you while you tried to gather your thoughts in the best way possible. You wanted to give Camry as unbiased an opinion as you could. But if you were being honest with yourself, you were probably the last person who should have been giving him any advice on this topic.

Taking a deep breath, you offered him your best comforting smile, "For starters, Carm, you should have more than two reasons for liking someone, especially if one of them is only because of physical attributes. But what type of doubts have you been having? Are you just scared that Fak got his info wrong and that's why you haven't asked Claire to prom yet?"

You watched as he shrugged, his fingers gently playing with the bow on your bear, hinting at just how nervous he was to be having this conversation with you.

"You know you can tell me anything, Bear, I won't judge you."

Carmy's eyes met yours, and you couldn't help but feel a bit unnerved by the intensity of his gaze. You followed the movement of his eyes as they darted across your face, his slow perusal of your features made your skin crawl, and his prolonged silence wasn't doing any favors to assuage how warm his gaze made you feel. Before you could question him, his eyes found yours once more as he cleared his throat, hand moving to scratch the back of his neck.

"I just...how do you know if you really like someone? Like with you, Baby, how did you uh realize you liked your you know...mystery guy?" You didn't miss the way Carmy frowned as he asked the question, but you were too caught up in your surprise to delve into that at the moment.

If you didn't know Carmy was being serious, you might have laughed his question off, but you just told him you wouldn't judge him. The question blindsided you; this wasn't a normal topic of conversation for the two of you, while you admitted to having a crush on someone, Carmy obviously still didn't know the object of your affection. And for the most part, you were happy to keep it that way, making sure to not bring up the topic while in conversation with Carmy, the longer you thought on it though you began to realize every time your love life came up in conversation with him, it was always Carmy bringing it up. But as you sat there dumbstruck by the question, you couldn't think of a logical, let alone a believable, reason to avoid it.

"I don't think I can pinpoint a specific moment," you couldn't believe you were talking about this with Carmy, but maybe doing so would make it easier for you when you finally came to terms with the truth of your situation. "It sounds dumb, but it just kind of happened...it was like this build-up of all the little moments, you know? And then one day I remember just looking at him and I dunno, I guess everything just clicked, and I...I kind of just realized that he was my person...or well...at least I thought he was."

"What happened?" Your eyes shot to Carmy's, surprised to see how enraptured he was by your words, "I just I mean...how do you know he's not your person i-if you've never told him how you feel?"

A chuckle was your only answer as you turned to lie on your back, eyes focused on the ceiling. You felt the bed shift as Carmy moved closer, seemingly intrigued by the turn of conversation. "I'm second best in his eyes, Carm," you let your head loll to the side, looking at Carmy as you watched his brows knot in confusion. "That's probably not fair to say, considering he doesn't know how I feel...but he has someone else, and telling him that I like him would just be selfish. I wouldn't want to ruin things for him."

You gave Carmy a sad smile, realizing the explanation didn't take any weight off your shoulders; instead, you just felt heavier. The space where your heart resided seemed to ache as you lay next to him.

Carmy moved closer, his chest brushing against the outside of your arm as he settled once more. You blinked in surprise, watching as his face hovered over yours, appearing in your line of sight, just barely blocking the daylight illuminating your room from your vision.

"What about you?" Your brows furrowed at his question, a silent plea for him to explain more. "I mean w-what if there's someone else...for you?"

Only a moment passed before the words were out of your mouth.

"Is there someone else for you, Bear?" Your eyes locked on his, gaze full of curiosity as you waited for him to answer. Answering his question with the same one he asked you wasn't the best decision, but you were no longer interested in talking about your romantic interests, and maybe hearing him talk about his would help bring you back down to reality and push you past the crush you harbored on him.

A prolonged silence settled between the two of you as you held each other's gaze. Carmy seemed deep in thought, eyes not leaving your face as the minutes ticked by. This look on his face wasn't one you'd seen before, any other time you could easily tell what his train of thought was just by the littlest emotions crossing his face, but as the silence stretched between you, you couldn't help but to wish you knew what was going on inside his head.

"Y-yeah...I think there might be."

You blinked in surprise, doing your best to hide the emotions his honesty seemed to stir up inside of you. Before you could get a word out, Carmy's hand raised between the two of you, hovering for just a moment before slowly moving toward your face, the palm of his calloused hand cupping your cheek as his thumb gently caressed your under eye.

"Your eyes...I can never get them right when I draw you." Although his words were whispered, you heard him.

Warmth bloomed in your chest at this new piece of information, you were shocked to hear that Carmy tried committing your features to paper. And you weren't sure what this revelation meant, but the atmosphere in your room felt charged as you lay there nearly tucked into his chest. Carmy's face was only inches above yours as he continued the soft smoothing motion of his thumb against your skin.

"You draw me?"

Your voice was equally as breathy as his, as you relaxed into his touch, feeling as his appendage traced the planes of your face before brushing across your eyebrow.

A small, barely there smile curved his lips, juxtaposing the deep blush that began to settle on his cheeks.

The movement was subtle, and you weren't sure if it was you who leaned up or him who leaned down, but the tips of your noses grazed against each other's as he uttered one word that had your head spinning as you tried to figure out what this moment meant; if anything at all.

"Always."

You inhaled deeply, breathing his one-word answer in as you did, your eyes roved back and forth between his, trying to figure out if the tension you felt was mirrored in his eyes or if you were just reading into things. Hesitantly, you moved to grip his hand, holding it in place where it cupped your cheek.

Hope was the wish of fools, but in the short seconds when his eyes dropped to your lips, you felt pathetic as a sliver of your being couldn't help but to hope that you might have been that someone else Carmy was talking about.

Three loud knocks on your bedroom door quickly pulled you out of whatever trance you were caught in. You and Carmy jumped apart as the door swung open, revealing Mikey's figure in the hall.

"What the hell are you two doin'? Dinners almost done, and you know Ma won't let us eat without the two of you." He stood there with his arms crossed frown on his face as he looked at you both. You avoided his gaze, embarrassed by what you almost let transpire between you and Carmy, knowing how much it would likely hurt Claire.

You felt the moment Mikey's eyes left your figure, breathing a sigh of relief as he turned his full attention on Carmy, whatever he saw there pulling a light-hearted chuckle from him.

"Ya know what just get outta here, before I bust your asses for being in here with the door closed."

Mortification flooded you at the implication of his words, knowing he wasn't too far off in his accusations. You slid off the edge of the bed, turning to face Carmy, hoping to nip whatever awkwardness may linger between the two of you in the bud, only to find him slightly hunched over himself, gripping your stuffed bear for dear life in his lap.

The clearing of Mikey's throat pulled your attention. "Baby, why don't you go help 'em finish? Carmy and I'll lock up."

If he thought you might question him, he was mistaken, as you took the opportunity to remove yourself from the situation, not wanting to be in your room any longer with the two brothers.

Making your way through the house, you couldn't help but replay the moment between you and Carmy over and over again on a loop. A part of you was sure there was something there, and the desire to attempt and confess your feelings for him raced through you once more.

But as quickly as those thoughts emerged, they were disregarded just as quickly, as you recalled the words he'd spoken to Claire that day at The Beef. You were his best friend, and in Carmy's eye, that's all you would ever be, and you would always have to live with that fact, no matter how much it hurt you.

Because if keeping Carmy in your life meant pretending you hadn't felt more of him, then you would do so if that's what he wanted.

"Alright, Baby, ready to get going?" Mikey's voice pulled your attention from the book you were reading as you waited for him to take you home.

You nodded in response to his question before stuffing the book in your bag and getting up to follow him to the parking lot. A small appreciative smile lined your lips as he unlocked the car and opened the passenger door for you, allowing you to get comfortable before closing in and making his way around the car and joining you.

As soon as Mikey started the car, you began flipping through the radio station, searching for something enjoyable to listen to on the ride home, lest the older man make you listen to whatever he was in the mood for.

He chuckled at your eagerness as he exited the parking lot "Hey you got time for some ice cream or are you in a rush to get home and finish that borin' ass book?"

You scoffed at his question, "First of all, it's not boring, and I always have time when you're paying Mikey."

Mikey's chuckle reached your ears as he shook his head at your words. The two of you settled in, allowing the music on the radio to be the only noise in the car. Moments alone with Mikey were few and far between recently, and it wasn't because you had outgrown the man, but with work, taking care of your mom, and trying to graduate high school, there was little free time for you to take advantage of.

You smiled as the car rolled to a stop, not at all surprised to see the sign for Margie's Candies, a favorite of yours since you could remember. You and Mikey exited the car at the same time before heading inside, the sun barely beginning to set as you chose a booth.

Neither of you reached for a menu, already knowing exactly what you wanted, and a waiter wasn't far behind, quickly taking your order before leaving the two of you alone once more.

"So, Michael, what are we doing here?" You smiled as he rolled his eyes before imploring him with a questioning look.

There was usually only one of two reasons for a visit to Margie's, and it was either celebrating an accomplishment or to sweeten the blow of bad news with decadent ice cream. Mikey opened his mouth, only to stop as the waiter returned with your orders the both of you giving your thanks.

A contented sigh escaped you as you dug into your ice cream before taking a bite out of the delicious treat, savoring the sweetness of it all.

"How're you doing, Baby?" The seriousness of Mikey's voice confused you as you moved your eyes from your ice cream to stare at him, eyebrows furrowed in confusion at his question. He ate a spoonful of his own ice cream before speaking up. "I uh...I know things are tough for you right now. Just trynna see where your head's at is all."

You nodded slowly, not fully believing his reasoning but deciding to just go with it. "I-I'm good, I think? Really just focusing on making sure mom is okay and finishing senior year strong."

Mikey hummed at your answer, and you could see as you stayed focused on his eyes that there was more to this conversation. He nodded once before returning to his dessert. You followed suit, but you couldn't help the apprehension beginning to settle in your gut. The two of you sat in a prolonged silence for a few moments more, and just when you thought it was fine to lower your guard, Mikey spoke up.

"Oh yeah, how's those college applications coming along?" His question gave you a momentary pause, a spoonful of ice cream halfway to your mouth before you forced yourself to move once more, the ice cream feeling heavy in your stomach as you swallowed.

The line of your shoulders raised in a shrug as you took a minute to gather your thoughts, "Good, just waiting to hear back from the ones I applied to."

You looked up from your bowl at the sound of Mikey sucking his teeth watching as his eyebrows furrowed. You felt your stomach drop as he leaned forward, placing his elbows on the table, hand raised to wipe a hand across his mouth before leveling his gaze on you.

"You sure?" The tone of his voice let you know the next answer out of your mouth needed to be truthful.

Holding Mikey's gaze proved to be a struggle, and as soon as you looked away, you knew you'd lost the battle. "Yeah, I told you I just haven't-"

"Heard back?" He cut you off from finishing your sentence, and that's when you realized he wasn't looking for an explanation; he just wanted to see if you'd lie to him. "Baby, why the hell is Carmy hiding your acceptance letters?"

A defeated sigh parted your lips as you pushed your bowl of ice cream away from you before deflating back into your seat. You looked around the parlor, noting the few other patrons, wondering if their conversations were going any better than yours.

"He's not hiding them." You shrugged, unsure of what else to say, wishing you were anywhere but here right now.

"Really? Is that why they're all hidden between the pages of his sketchbooks?"

A slight feeling of relief filled you at knowing Carmy had kept his promise, and that Mikey was just too nosy for his own good, likely having come across the letters by accident. You hadn't spoken with Carmy since that day in your bedroom, and you knew he was avoiding you as much as you were avoiding him. 

"Your mom know about this?"

"No, and you aren't going to tell her."

Mikey's eyebrows raised at your tone of voice. He'd watched you grow up and dealt with your attitude plenty of times before, "Watch it." His words weren't a request but rather a warning All he wanted to understand was why you were being sneaky about college, it wasn't his place to tell your mom. "Just talk to me, Baby, what's goin' on?"

The table was quiet as you bit your lip in contemplation, eyes locked on the bowl in front of you. You felt the need to apologize for your smart mouth, knowing Mikey likely wouldn't go to your mom unless you were in danger. But you also wanted to avoid this conversation at all costs, avoid the truth that both you and your mom were pretending didn't exist.

A resigned sigh finally left your lips as you met Mikey's gaze, doing your best to keep your composure. "My mom has worked so hard to give me the life I deserve, she's my biggest cheerleader, and I know she'd be proud if she found the letters, but...there's no getting better for her-"

You trailed off as your eyes welled with tears, your bottom lip beginning to tremble as you worked to keep the tears at bay. "And I-I don't wanna be halfway across the world when mama goes."

Mikey's sharp intake of breath was all you heard before he got up and squished himself into the booth next to you. No words were exchanged between the two of you as he pulled you into his side and allowed you to bury your face in his chest as he wrapped his arms around your chin, pressing into your head. You were thankful to have chosen one of the booths in the back, embarrassed to be crying in public.

Time continued to pass as Mikey held you there, hand gently smoothing up and down your back to help calm you down before placing a gentle kiss atop your head. "You sure you're not just staying for my idiot brother?"

You knew Mikey meant for the question to be funny, but it just brought on a whole new wave of emotions for you, helping to open a Pandora's box of all your repressed feelings - good and bad - toward the youngest Berzatto.

Your whine of annoyance at the mention of his brother pulled a chuckle out of Mikey, his arm moving to rest across the back of the booth as his fingers began messing with the collar of your jacket.

"Gonna tell me what I walked in on the other day?"

It was obvious he already had his ideas about what almost happened between you and Carm, either that or he'd already spoken with his brother about the near incident.

You let out a frustrated groan before rubbing your hands down your face. "Literally nothing that even matters." Meeting Mikey's gaze let you know he didn't believe your words for a second, causing even more frustration to bubble up inside you. "Look, I don't know, okay! One moment he's telling me he needs girl advice and the next he's waxing poetic about my eyes, and I think we're about to kiss but we can't because well, for one, you walk in, and oh, did I forget to mention he's stupidly in love with someone else. And there I was, seconds from being a home wrecker to a home that doesn't even exist, and don't even get me started on the fact that everyone has a prom date but me, and...and why are you laughing at me? This is serious, Mikey?"

The older man responded by pulling you into a hug and resting his chin against your head, "Just good to see you worried about teenager shit, you're growin' up too fast." You relaxed into his arms, letting his words sink in and realizing how right he was. You had so much responsibility thrust upon your shoulders that you hadn't gotten the chance to live and enjoy your senior year.

"Thought you were supposed to tell the kid how you felt months ago? What happened to that?"

A resigned scoff escaped your lips as you sat up once more, "Claire Dunlap happened and it's not like it's her fault I mean from the few interactions I've had with her she's pretty cool," you trailed off unsure of what to say, it wasn't like there was much you could do to change the way Carmy felt. "And before the whole bedroom situation, he made it crystal clear he'll never see me as more than a friend."

The man next to you let out a contemplative hum as he digested your words. "Carm tell you that?"

"Not directly," you shrugged as you answered. "I overheard him speaking with Claire at The Beef, and when she assumed we were dating, he denied the whole thing with so much disgust it almost made me question if he even liked me as a friend in general."

As you gazed up at Mikey, you saw his eyes narrow at your words. What was going through his mind, you had no clue, but he seemed to be thinking hard about something. "You ask him about what he said then?"

"Eww, what, no!" You deflated into yourself following the exclamation. "Then he would know I was eavesdropping and I...I'm not sure if I would be able to handle that type of rejection from him. In a way, it's easier to just watch him get what he's always wanted, I mean it doesn't hurt any less, but a verbal rejection would just make it all too real."

Mikey nodded at your words trying to understand why you teens made shit so complicated these days. "Baby, why don't you just tell 'em how you feel? What's the worst that could happen?"

You scowled at the older man sure he'd lost his goddamned mind. "I just told you. He's my best friend, and I know if I admitted my feelings to him, it would just ruin everything."

Mikey tried his hardest to understand where you were coming from, he had to remember that you were still just a teenager and most everything felt like the end of the world to you. "You ever stop to think he might feel the same?" He raised his eyebrows in question.

Any other time, you might have brushed his words off and chalked it up to him joking, but he was really pressing the issue, and that alone made you suspicious.

"Did he say something to you?"

A shrug was all you got in response before Mikey removed himself from the booth, "C'mon, gotta get you home before the streetlights come on."

The conversation ended there, with Mikey ignoring your question and you following behind him in contemplative silence as he led you out to the car.

The car halted to a stop in your driveway, you lifted your head from where it was settled against the window, unbuckling your seat belt before turning to look at Mikey. "All of the street lights were on by the way."

Mikey let out a hearty laugh shoving at your shoulder, "Yeah, alright smart ass."

You sent him one last smile, turning to exit the car before the sound of Mikey calling your name stopped you in your tracks, curiosity filling you at the way he blatantly chose not to use the nickname he'd bestowed upon you all those years ago.

Settling back into the seat, you turned your whole body in his direction, facing him head-on as a frown pulled at your eyebrows. He was speaking up before a question of concern could leave your lips.

"You know I'm proud of you, right?" Warmth filled your chest at the praise, shyness overcoming you at his words, never sure how to accept a compliment. "But you gotta promise me you'll get outta here. I understand why you're not going off to college right away, and I'll be right here supportin' you through it all, but Baby...I need you to make better for yourself, alright?"

You were at a loss for words, a foreboding emotion, feeling your chest as you nodded along in understanding.

"You're gonna do big fucking things, Baby, and I'll be proud of whatever you do but don't forget about us little guys okay." A watery laugh bubbled up out of your mouth, the confusion still ever present as you tried to understand what brought on this topic of conversation.

"I could never forget about you, Brother Bear." You teased, the childhood nickname you gave Mikey, pulling his lips into a smile. "I'm gonna write about you one day, Mikey, gotta remember you to do that." You watched as he just stared at your eyes, roaming over your face, you reached across the console pressing a quick kiss on his cheek, assuming the conversation was over.

Mikey's hand reached out to grab your arm, "You gonna look out for Carmy no matter where life takes both of you, right?" You nodded at the question, feeling no need to elicit a verbal response. "Just keep an eye out for me, will you, you're good for Carmy. Even if he ain't seen it yet," You weren't sure exactly what Mikey meant by that, but you didn't dwell on it as you agreed to his terms.

"Come on now, Mikey, you Berzatto's are stuck with me for life, you can't get rid of me that easily." You smiled, watching as Mikey's gaze stayed serious, worry growing once more in my chest.

"I need to hear you say it, Baby, promise me you'll leave when you get a chance and look out for Carm?"

There was a slight tone of desperation in his words, and the longer you stared at them, the more clearly you could see that emotion swimming in his eyes. You nodded once in acquiescence before speaking up. "Yeah...I promise you, Mikey."

And just as quickly as the serious atmosphere entered the conversation, a joking one bled into the car as Mikey spoke once more. "Alright, now get your ass in the house, Baby, I told your mom I'd stop bringing you home so late," you nodded hesitating before picking your backpack up from by your feet on the floor.

Exiting the car, you quickly walked to your front door, turning back to send Mikey a wave as he watched you get in safely.

Mikey sighed as he reversed the car back into his driveway across the street. He didn't want to mention it, but he could already see the relationship between you and his younger brother beginning to fracture. You had always given Carmy too much of yourself, and as your crush on the teenager developed, you only grew more selfless when it came to cutting off parts of yourself to give to him.

After catching you and Carmy in that compromising position and then sitting his little brother down for a well-needed heart-to-heart, he realized just by listening to him speak about you that Carmy harbored feelings for you as well. But while trying to be helpful and lead his brother to unpack and understand his feelings toward you, he may have ended up doing more harm than good as Carmy vehemently denied the claims instead focusing the conversation on Claire.

Mikey sat in the car for a moment longer watching as the lights in your house began flickering off it was foolish for him to think yours and Carmy's friendship could withstand the test it was about to go through, but knowing how confused Carmy was about his feelings he knew it wouldn't be long until the teen was crossing a line he wouldn't be able to come back from.

a/n: interludes are finally back yay!! love, love, love, writing about young barby they're both just idiots.

also never seen shameless a day in my life but lip gifs are just perfect for young carmy he's such a cutie!

please enjoy 🫶🏼

[namelessprayers]

"i'm not in love with you." till says unprompted, a clarification out of the blue on the steps outside their school's decrepit gym. it's warm.

ivan's heart clenches, but not unexpectedly, maybe just in some customary relinquishment of hope; resigned, like the sentence has been a long time coming either way the cards decided to fall.

he knew they were never really in his hands anyways. till holds every winning play and will receive the pay off of any gamble in relation to ivan, as is the nature of their friendship, of their subtly predestined magnitude marked in the stars.

"alright. why should i care about that?" responds ivan, in a way that sounds practiced in its indifference, not a hint of sullen defeat to it. the shaky sincerity of till's statement (confession?) dissipates in an instant, a wisp in the wind of their many bittersweet memories.

for a second, ivan thinks that this'll be one of those stained days, wherein his emotions become a little too intense to keep the events unclouded in his mind. then, he looks at till's indignant face as his cheeks flush an embarrassed red, and the possibility of such a fog is vanquished by his overwhelmingly pitiful fondness.

"what's wrong? did you think i didn't know that?" ivan inquires teasingly, though almost genuinely wondering over till's answer.

"no, asshole, you just don't get it." when till barely splutters out his bold summation, ivan feels a bit like he's missing something, but nothing clicks into place immediately.

in lieu of what to do, ivan idly hooks his ankle around till's leg. their sides press together and the concentrated scowl in till's eyes lightens. the magnetic frequency that always draws ivan to till seems to preen at this course of action, heightening at some invisible wavelength correspondence this proves.

"yeah," says ivan, suddenly slipping into a state of enough confidence to lean his head on till's shoulder, "i don't get it at all." it's warm.

======

there's no obsessive nature in ivan besides the one exception of till. if it weren't for ivan anchoring himself at the other's side, drifting through life and school and work and into death would be as simple as just that, drifting.

yet, ivan does get a bit caught up in the semantics and debatable dichotomy of the admission found in 'i'm not in love with you'.

when someone says that, especially pertaining to till, it seems direct and clear cut and like setting a boundary. or it should (but ivan might be severely overthinking it). still, the way till voiced it so abruptly, offered like a branch extending to the root of something deeper; ivan is nearly delusional enough to trick himself into thinking that till might've been coaxing him into confessing a feeling of his own.

too bad that it would only be plausible if it were any pair besides them.

so, decidedly, ivan reaches the end of the week by walking till to the bus stop and telling himself that he is not obsessed because he never has been and never will be.

======

"he said that? really!?" squeaks mizi, her eyes welling up with tears under her lashes, looking more disconcerted than ivan felt when he first heard it himself. "i don't understand... it's just wrong! how is it even fair? why would he say it randomly like that? how could he!?"

sensing the imminent breakdown of distress, sua glares from behind mizi, pointedly indicating that ivan fix this at the threat of a beating if otherwise. sua doesn't pull her punches, so ivan tries his best, beginning with placing a placating hand on top of mizi's head which is an attempt that fails spectacularly as soon as it starts.

when mizi full on wails, ivan realizes his mistake and quickly mutters about having to pick up till from band practice (an excuse that sua glares at because she's the only one that recalls them all being in the same band).

however, regardless of sua's skepticism, ivan truly does have a scheduled meeting time with till. it makes him feel a little better to have told that much of the truth after inadvertently making mizi cry.

======

it's been two weeks since the 'i'm not in love with you' incident, as hyuna has taken to referring to it. somehow, the whole band has caught wind of it despite till being none the wiser, if not a bit confused by mizi's sorrowful looks between him and ivan whenever they're standing next to each other (which is more often than not).

at first, ivan took to the technique of waking up every morning and going to see till with the mentality of 'i'm over it already' as a halfhearted mantra for manifestation. unfortunately, it fell through pretty quickly after a couple of days where ivan came to remember that 'i'm never getting over you' is a phrase that exists primarily in his vocabulary and readily within his skillset.

luka, the smug bastard, uses the opportunity of ivan's momentary lapse in normalcy to get under till's skin constantly. in turn, this gets on mizi's nerves, who tells luka not to let the not-so-secret secret be revealed to till who already knows but doesn't know that everyone else also knows. it's quite confusing, but not really that confusing when sua hops in to defend mizi (as typical). then, followed by hyuna using herself as a human scale to balance the forces of the band's intermittent chaos (as is also typical).

all the while, ivan moves on to stage two of what might be grief or consolation. he adjusts, because technically, he's been doing this since forever. meaning, he repeats 'i'm used to this' whenever he gets the urge to say he actually loves till or express it in various other horrifyingly excruciating displays.

ivan only falters once in this process of acclimation, when till deftly wipes a smear of dirt off his face in a second that has the world stopping and gawking and ivan's poor body weak to a violent bout of close to collapsing syndrome. the casual manner of till's frown and adorably wrinkled nose in confusion at ivan's dramatics just serving to make his pulse thrum that much more irregular through his veins.

somewhere, seated behind the drumkit (at hyuna's benevolence), luka stifles an obnoxious laugh at ivan's simultaneously paling and colouring skin as he feels an inch away from an early demise of affection overload induced heart attack.

======

"sounds like you got a predicament, loverboy." announces hyuna from the rim of her drink at the bar, her snarkiness showing how much luka has unwarrantedly made an influence. "i mean, it's weird, because he still doesn't look at you far off from how sua looks at mizi."

"what's that supposed to mean?" ivan asks, ineloquently, since he's slightly drunk and will probably puke if he thinks too long about the way sua stares at mizi. "it's not the same."

"yeah, it totally is." hyuna nods after taking a generous swig from her overflowing cup. it won't be long before she has to go find luka in the bar's crowd to cut him off. they drink at the same rate, but luka gets smashed significantly faster than anyone else.

"is it?" parrots ivan, totally unconvinced by her drunken state of conviction. his inkling of hope flickers.

"mhm. possessive, i'd say. sure, sua loves mizi, but she's also a possessive girlfriend if i ever saw one!" the aforementioned 'possessive girlfriend' whips her attention around to hyuna who suddenly seems very sober. ivan sighs as hyuna dashes to fetch luka, slumping forward over the wooden counter, resolving that the issue needs to be confronted as soon as possible given a few more lenient business days to breathe.

======

"are you not even a little bit in love with me?" ivan dares to bring up out of the blue when they're sitting on the same steps in front of their school's old gym. it's cold today.

it goes so silent that ivan almost thinks till didn't hear him, but that would be too nice a fate for the universe to afford him, so they're forced to seep in a terse quiet for an uneasy moment too long.

though eventually, ivan relents, turning his head to till who's surprisingly already glaring at him with a cutting focus. he resembles somewhere between a disgruntled stray cat and a snake about to kill ivan in one bite. part of ivan wishes it's the latter.

"well," till says, parsed out through gritted teeth, "are you in love with me?" he finishes the question sounding more like a demand, intently staring at the ground where their shoes are mismatched but aligned.

ivan blinks. he thinks about the current chill in the air and the ghost of sunlight on their skin about a month ago. he thinks about till pursing his lips as he spoke the dreaded sentence, dropping the statement like a prompt. he thinks of his own gaze, wilting a tad, reflected by till's own. apparently, ivan has one card.

"is that what you wanted to hear?" the politeness might as well strangle the both of them, but ivan is being honest about this, achingly direct. he wants to hear the truth and only the truth in return.

"that's what i thought you would say." responds till, like clockwork, before his expression screws up as if it was just a slip of the tongue to comment such a sentiment. "if you meant it, anyways." he amends, trying to brush it off. "i guess it doesn't matter now."

the accusation is pretty clear, 'you didn't say it then, so you won't mean it if you say it now; you're too late'. ivan thinks of gambling and the stars shining bright across world, listening in, as if he ever had something worth betting. it feels divined, anticipated, when it finally falls. his heart clenches and it hurts in the right way.

"i am in love with you." ivan whispers, softly, like it's a phrase the world will remember for him and reinvigorate if given enough time to flourish. "you don't have to say it back."

"okay. okay." murmurs till with equal softness in his tone. his head leans against ivan's shoulder, conceding or admitting to a gap in the lines. "i'm sorry." uncharacteristically, till sounds sincerely remorseful. for once, ivan doesn't need to steel himself against looking and allows himself to linger on a single glance. "you get it, don't you?"

ivan nearly asks 'how did you know', but they had both always known. maybe that was always the point. if it was anyone else, ivan isn't sure they would've stayed all this time. and till is right here, close enough to touch, perhaps even to keep.

"i get it." says ivan, because he does. "i know." he smiles into till's hair. it's not that cold anymore.

[briarberrythornedhart]

The first bite is with the eyes, and then you are hooked

“You know your problem?” She says.

“I’m aware of a few.” Eddie snarks and then snaps a pretend bite at her when she shoves his arm with her hand playfully. His teeth snap in the air and she grabs his chin. She’s never afraid of Eddie.

“You think you are an acquired taste.” She continues her lecture. “You think you have to work hard and do people favors and plant these… likeability seeds to be appreciated for who you are. You take care of people so you can feel worthy of affection. But I have a secret for you…”

Eddie is happy to listen to her speechify. He enjoys her voice in his ears. It’s like honey and her gingery warm teasing tone is delicious. All of her is edible. Unfortunately.

They’ve been friends since she rescued his ass and he only wishes it was …more than just that.

“Tell me the secret.” Eddie puts his hand to his ear. “I’m all ears.”

“You, Eddie Munson, deserve the world.” She said. She spread out her arms to emphasize this. “You are worthy of all the affection you crave.”

“Shut up” Eddie says softly. Not wanting her to stop.

“You don’t have to drop everything to go pick up Gareth because his motorbike stopped working again and he hates riding the bus. I think it’s lovely that you do, but you don’t have to do it to be Worthy of being loved. And you don’t have to pretend to like musicals just because I want to watch them a lot….”

“Hey, I genuinely liked the one last Friday, whatever it was called.” It had something about a tobacco farm and a leprechaun. It was bananas.

“Noted. And you aren’t personally responsible for the safety and happiness of every little nerdy kid in the Tri-state area. And…” she looked down. “…you don’t have to go out with Cassandra Finnegan just because she came crawling back to you again.”

Eddie laughed in surprise nearing shock.

“Nooooo, you got the wrong idea, sweets. She’s not ‘crawling back’. She just asked if I wanted to meet for coffee. She is probably wondering if I am still selling and wanting to buy… yeah. No. Um I’m pretty sure.” Eddie was legitimately confused now. He decided to make a joke, “ Uh-unless you’re saying she got a taste of my lovin’ so very long ago and can’t get me off her mind, and the coffee is just a veiled request for a hook up in the coffee shop bathroom? Doubtful, but there is a first time for everything.”

“It’s not that veiled, Eddie. It’s standard procedure to start with coffee and see what happens. But she waited 3 years and ALSO until your name was cleared to call you up…”

“Which is reasonable. She needed to know I wasn’t the murderer. Why don’t you want me to meet up with Cass? What is it? Worried that she’ll want to meet up all the time and I won’t have time for movie nights and thrift store shopping and new release day and Hellfire? Even if you are right about ‘coffee’, and I am not convinced, she’ll get sick of me soon enough.” Gals always did. “She’ll remember why she broke it off the first time, and nothing I say will persuade her Eddie the Freak is worth keeping around. She can do better.”

“No! Eddie. That’s the thing. you can do better than Cass. You belong with someone who doesn’t need to be persuaded you are amazing. They just Know It. Someone who liked you seriously right away. Who gets a taste of you and it stays in their system. So they won’t get sick of you, no matter what.”

“I don’t think that person exists. No one is jonesing for this.” Eddie gestured at his body. “No one is lining up to put up with me…”

“I would.” She interrupted. And Eddie’s eyes snapped to her face to look for clues she was teasing - found none. “Maybe you would put me in the back of the line, but I’d queue up. Always.”

Eddie licked his upper lip. “I’d put you in the front. Always.”

Eddie held her gaze, cocking his head to the side and waiting with his breath trapped in his chest. It didn’t feel like ‘just friends’ talk.

“Want to go out for coffee?” She asked.

Eddie smiled - maybe smirked.

“Can we go right now?”

She grinned back and nodded.

[jumpywhumpywriter]

Hero Kidnaps Villain Part 17

Warnings: mentions of murder & death, brainwashing

Present time...

Hero had an awful feeling about what Villain was telling her. Supervillain and Henchmen were killed? How? Would the Agency really do something like that??

The news was like a punch to the gut that stole her breath away and left her drowning in air.

"Villain... are you certain Supervillain and Henchmen are dead? You're 100% positive?" She asked quietly, her voice dropping low and grave.

Villain nodded stiffly, fresh tears springing to his eyes when he vividly replayed the slaughter in his mind, how Superhero had murdered them both in cold blood and forced him to witness the entire thing. "I watched it happen," he answered hoarsely. "They killed them right in front of me to prove a point."

He found Hero's suddenly anguished expression puzzling. Why did she care about the deaths of two violent criminals? It meant less enemies for her to battle against in the future.

"Why -- Why do you want to know so badly?" He ventured.

"It's Supervillain... I..." Hero's voice caught in her throat, and she glanced away, clearing her throat and trying to compose herself to hide the sorrow in her face.

"He was my twin brother," she finally whispered, words cracking with grief. "It's part of what motivated me to look at Agency more closely and find out why their prisoners keep vanishing -- they wouldn't tell me what they were doing with Supervillain once he was caught and brought in. He wasn't a good person, and he deserved to face the consequences of his crimes, but... he didn't deserve to die. He was still my brother, and... he'd been there for me when it mattered most, villain or not. He didn't want to hurt me, which is why he always went easy on me during fights. Out of costume we were kind of just... regular rival siblings. Oh gosh..."

Hero covered her mouth with a hand, eyes watery as she stood up and took a wobbly step away from the bed. "I'm sorry, I just... need a minute to process this," she rasped, then whirled around and fled the room, leaving Villain to his thoughts.

She didn't come back for six hours, staying away so long Villain genuinely wondered if she planned to abandon this house altogether and leave him to starve and rot and decay here all alone.

But finally she returned, her hair messy and eyes red-rimmed, and it was obvious she'd been crying. The tears had stopped falling, but it was clear she was barely holding it together right now.

Villain had no idea Supervillain had a sibling, let alone that it would be Hero, of all people. But now that the truth was revealed he could definitely see the similarities. Hero's orange hair was the same color tone Supervillain's had been, and they both had angular facial features, distinguished jawlines.

A new wave of fear crashed over Villain though as it sank in. What if Hero found out that he hadn't even tried to save Supervillain when he'd been executed? That he'd consciously chosen to obey Superhero's orders to not intervene to save his own skin? Would she torture him out of hatred for letting her brother be killed without so much as a hint of pushback, even if it wouldn’t have prevented his murder?

He instinctively flinched when Hero dropped something onto his lap, and it took a second for him to register that it was... just a bagged sandwich, followed by a water bottle. Not anything that would cause him pain.

Hero gave him a weird look for that reaction, but she was nice enough not to comment on it as she turned away from him.

"You can eat that for now -- we'll talk more tomorrow." Her voice was faded and heavy with despair as she trudged out of the room and disappeared again, not giving Villain a chance to say anything to her.

Villain stared down at the bag in his lap, then sighed, using his one uncuffed hand to awkwardly open it and take out the sandwich. Probably the only food he'd get today.

He chewed every bite slowly, mulling over his jumbled thoughts and trying to wrangle his frazzled nerves together. But he only got halfway through the sandwich before he heard the door -- which had barely been cracked an inch after Hero left -- make a quiet creak, slowly opening a foot.

He stiffened, staring at it anxiously, alarm bells going off when no one visibly entered through the gap. He was horribly on-edge in the uncomfortable silence that followed, tense and on high alert, but he let out a strangled shriek of terror when a speedy blur of movement came shooting up over the edge of the bed toward him.

⏪️ Back Next ⏩️

Masterlist

@scoundrelwithboba @lumpofsand @isikedmyself878 @iamheretohurt @fleur-a-whump

@ay5ksal @otterfrost @sausages-things @togzy

@whump-till-ya-jump @cravesunconditionallove @whumpwritinglover222 @written-in-the-stars135 @neverthelass

@starz8nk @redwinesupanover @whumpisgoodwhumpislife @theforeverdyingperson @writing-with-olive

@f1sh-bone @basica11ywhumped

[mr-crawlings-wife]

HOT POKER AMID ROSES

Prologue-7

Previous part, Masterlist, Next part

Warnings: Ace, nothing tbh

The cool morning breeze blows by us as I sweep the leaves in the opposite direction and towards the bins. Grim helps me by not causing trouble and loitering around.

Students pass by us every so often. The lack of crowds drive me to think that class probably starts even later.

Huh...wonder what those are like.

This is my third week of working here. It's been three weeks since Crowley appointed me as janitor. I usually spend my days taking care of the inner halls, places around the teachers offices, Crowley's office and of course, the classrooms.

Crowley mainly puts me to work on cleaning up the messes left by students. Whether that be repainting the walls, covering up a chipped corner of the desk, cleaning up broken beakers and mysterious potions that seldom burn through my mop.

Glad I didn't wipe with a towel.

I think as I look down at my hands, now holding a damp rag. I approach the large statues and climb onto their pedestals. There is not much space but I make do.

This is the first time I've had to work with so much people around. Even the classroom cleaning is usually after class hours.

I reach up, standing on my tiptoes, grabbing the statue with one hand and wiping the tips of her crown with the other.

The clothes I'm wearing right now are stuff Crowley handed me on my first day. Which has a clear distinction from every other attire worn by everyone else at this academy.

It raises a few brows and quizzical looks from passing students.

Or maybe it's just the fact that I'm daring to hold and stand on the pedestal of one of the great seven.

In this world, the great seven are seven people in the past who have shown feats of great magic or at least that's what I've read in the library books. They are revered, admired and respected. The easiest way to offend these people is to insult the great seven.

The one who's snout I'm polishing right now is-

"I didn't get to see it much yesterday. What's the deal with these seven statues? All their faces look pretty scary." Grim speaks up from behind me.

I have to crane my neck to look at him but also not fall off the statue. "Hmm?“

“Like, this lady here looks like she's got some reeeal anger management issues.“ Grim points at the statue I'm cleaning.

I look back at it and his words do match up.

The queen of hearts, this short women who's comically shaped with a pointy crown that almost pierced my finger and a permanent scowl.

She's notorious for her anger.

"You don't know the Queen of Hearts?" Some person behind me asks.

I look back again, this time greeted with the view of a boy, around my age, with bright red hair and a heart on his eye. He seems friendly.

I quickly realized he was actually talking to Grim and turned back to the statue.

"Queen of Hearts? Is she some kinda big deal?" Grim is obviously oblivious cause he never accompanies me to the library. Instead, opting to sleep.

"She was a queen who lived in a maze like garden of roses long, long ago. She was a strict woman who prized order above all. She wouldn't tolerate a rose being off-color, or her playing-card soldiers being out of step."

I stepped down from the pedestal and began to wipe where I'd been standing.

"She basically ruled over a kingdom of madness, but not one of her subjects dared to defy her. You wanna know why? Because the punishment for breaking a rule was immediate decapitation!"

Sounds like the late emperor's grandfather.

The boy was almost right behind me now. "Wah! That is seriously messed up!"

Grim seems to have a brain.

"Pretty cool, right? I'm a big fan. I mean, who would bother to obey a queen that was kind all the time?"

Sure but that's just straight up tyranny.

"Yeah, true. A leader needs to be strong."

I retract all statements.

I'm about to move onto the next statue.

"But puttin' that aside... Who're you?" Grim asks from behind. He sounds a bit fond. Like he's found a friend, a buddy to talk to. I put down the used dirty rag and stepped towards the bucket at the corner, being mindful to not bump into the red head.

"Name's Ace. I'm a first year student here, as of... today! Pleased to meetcha!" Ace smiles, revealing a set of pearly whites.

Grim pumps out his chest with all his might in response. "I'm Grim! I'm a prodigy whos plannin' to be, like, the greatest mage who ever lived!" He throws his paws up over his head. And then he points to me as I make my way towards the king of beasts. "That there's my far less interesting hench-human."

I sigh and look towards Ace, "Maomao."

He snickers, giving me a once over. "Maomao? Heh-what? Like a cat?"

i roll my eyes and turn away, climbing onto the side of the pedestal and wiping vigorously at the top of the lion's head.

Grim's focus shifts to the statue as well.

"So tell me, Ace. Is that lion with a scar in the eye a famous ruler too?"

"Of course!"

I then realised I'd forgotten something. Damn I'll need to redo the Queen statue. I haven't sprayed it down once.

"Hey, Ace." I speak, looking towards him. "Can you pass me the spray bottle?“

"That's the King of Beasts who ruled the savanna." He doesn't respond to me and wordlessly picks it up from the bucket and hands it to me.

So he doesn't think I'm inferior to him huh....or maybe he's just pretending.

"But he wasn't born into the throne - he had to earn it through hard work and elaborate schemes. When he became king, he decreed that the hyenas would be pariahs no more, and should live among his subjects as equals." He continued to speak, as I continued to work.

With the help of the cleaning spray I was able to get my job done much faster. God I was being so dumb. Why didn't I realise earlier?

"Sounds like a great guy! Not everyone's able to look past social status like that." Grim exclaims. I agree with him on this. The king of beasts is admirable.

I hang the used rag on the edge of the bucket and pick another clean one. I have eight rags in total. So I don't need to smear ones mess onto another.

Picking up a new one and dampening it, I move to the sea merchant's statue.

"Who's the lady with the octopus legs?" Grim asks Ace from beside me.

"The Sea Witch who lived in an underwater grotto." As Ace speaks, I find myself in trouble.

The sea witches statue is pretty spiky. She's surrounded by tentacles with sharp ends and the best spot to climb onto has nothing safe to hold around it. And I'm not tall enough to just jump on either.

"She basically devoted her life to helping troubled merfolk."

"Mmgh..." I make a noise of struggle as I attempt to grab the smooth part of a nearby tentacle.

"If they were willing to pay the price, she'd help them change their appearance, find love, whatever!" Ace's voice gets louder as he goes on.

"They say she was so good, there was no wish she couldn't grant." Suddenly, hands grab onto my sides and haul me up to the pedestal. Allowing just enough range to grab the statue's arm.

He's helping me???? But I didn't even ask...

I look at him but he's already made his way back to Grim.

"They also say the price was a tad steep, though.

But she was granting wishes! Of course it was!"

"Myaha! So you're sayin' that once I'm a great mage, gettin' rich off folks will be a total cinch?!" Grim is elated and scheming. Can't be a good idea for sure.

"Oh, oh! Do the dude with the big hat next!" Grim requests. I've fallen behind, no longer on track with them. I try not to let myself hurry through Ursula. That's the Sea Merchant's name.

I move down to each of her tentacles as Ace and Grim move onto the Sorcerer. Grim is the furthest from me while Ace is a bit closer.

As I done cleaning the front of the tentacles, I moved onto the rings of concrete in the back of them. They're a real pain to get through.

"That's the Sorcerer of the Sands. He was an advisor to a total dolt of a sultan. He was a smart guy. Really capable sort. He exposed this swindler once - some guy pretending to be a prince in order to trick the princess! After that, he got this magic lamp and became the greatest sorcerer in the world. Then, they say...... he used that power to become sultan himself!" Ace summaries the story perfectly.

He must be a great student. Or maybe they've been teaching this since elementry.

"Wow! Guess it's true that a mage needs to be an excellent judge of character, huh?" Grim rubbing his chin, thoughtful. He looks stupidly... adorable.

I'm done with the Sea Merchant. So I take my bucket and move a bit closer to them. Immediately they move further away and towards the Fair Queen.

"And what about this beauty over here?" Grim points at the statue. She's beautiful although her clothes are rather plain.

"She's a queen who was said to be the fairest in all the land. In fact, she used her magic mirror to check how she ranked on a daily basis! When it looked like her position was threatened, they say she'd do whatever it took to keep it. Can you even imagine the level of dedication it would require to keep a record like that? Also, they say she was a master of making poisons!"

The last bit caught my attention.

Poisons? Poisons...

"Geez. She's pretty, but that sounds kinda scary." Grim didn't share my enthusiasm but of course he wouldn't understand

"You think so? I gotta respect the hustle!" Ace seems more like minded with me.

"F-for sure... Sounds like she fought hard for what she believed in, and never gave up!" Grim sounds shaky, as if he's lying about his feelings. He's quick to change the subject even.

"And the one there, with the flaming head? Now THAT guy looks scary!" Just as Grim does that, I've finished my work on the Sorcerer Jafar statue.

"That's the King of the underworld!"

I make my way towards the Fair Queen. Deftly climbing onto her pedestal. "Single-handedly ruling a kingdom packed with rambunctious spirits - that takes competence!" I can feel Ace's eyes on me as he speaks.

"He may look scary, but he was a straight shooter who worked tirelessly at a tough job he never even asked for. I mean, this is the guy who was ordering Cerberus, the Hydra, and the Titans into battle for him."

That is true. Hades is by far the only one morally sound in the mythology of the island of woe and all the ones surrounding it.

"Hmm. That IS something. T'think he could have that much power and not let it go to his head! And that last one there, with the horns?" Him and Ace are moving onto the dark fairy while I'm still in the process of cleaning up the fair queen's pedestal.

"That's the Thorn Fairy who lived on a mythical mountain. She was noble and elegant, and a master of magic and curses - even by the standards of these seven! She commanded storms, covered the kingdom with thorns... She could use magic on a massive scale! She could even turn herself into a giant dragon."

I make my way to Hades and am in a pickle again. This time, it's the flames surrounding him.

Ooh. a dragon! What all monsters yearn to be!" Grim exclaims as I turn to Ace, about to ask for help when-

"Pretty cool, huh? Not like some piddling weasel."

What?

Taglist: @kittycat246 @wutap @coffee-or-hot-cocoa @boredselkie @krysthalina @frostines-blog @anastasia-426 @ghostlysyntaxed @neufora

[the-not-so-silent-back-up]

Fools ❤️‍🩹

Attention: this Fic is partly based on ture events, so it's very personal for me. If you don't like it or if it's just not your thing am totally fine with it but please don't say anything mean. Thank you Warning: no beta reader, english isn't my first language

Steve Harrington x fem!reader x Eddie Munson

Summary: You have a crush on Steve while Eddie has a crush on you. And everyone is a bit of a fool because for a long time no one talks about their feelings.

- Chapter 2 -

- A good friend -

Arriving at your home, Eddie made sure you had some water next to your bed. As soon as you touched your pillow you fell asleep. But he couldn't stay with you so he wrote you a little note

“Good morning sweetheart, call me when you wake up and don't forget to drink enough water. See you later Eddie”

On his ride home to the Forest Hills, his mind was running similar to the engine of his Van. How could Steve not like you back, you were the cutest girl in the whole school. And you were also the most truthful person he had known. But it broke him to see you that sad, he never saw you break down so quick and so hard for a guy.

And Eddie also couldn't forget the fact that you told him you had a crush for years, and you never told anyone. He was mad at Steve for not liking you back and he was mad at himself that he didn't help you all those years, was he a bad friend?

Eddie wanted to do something so badly, confront Steve or tell Dustin about the situation. But he promised not to tell anyone. The only right thing Eddie can do now is to keep your secret and be a good friend you can talk to. Even though he hated the idea.

Eddie couldn't sleep all night. His thoughts went back and forth about what happened and what he could do. He decided to just be the best friend for you, listen to all the stuff you tell him and be your safe space. Because sleep was nowhere to be near Eddie decided to make some notes for the talk you two probably will have tomorrow.

On the next morning you found Eddie's note for you and you did as he told you, drink water and call him. You decided you'll meet up at his place to talk and get your mind clear. On your way you stopped and bought some yoo-hoos and some cookies.

Eddie suggested picking you up, but you didn't want to. The ride to Eddie gave you some extra time thinking, what you wanted to say to Eddie.

Arriving at the Trailer park you already could spot Eddie having a smoke.

You held up the snacks “I got us something” you announced with joy and immediately Eddies face lit up.

He greeted you with the same warmth he took care of you last night. “Come let's get inside, my uncle is working so we can hang out in peace”.

It was awkward at first you both wanted to talk about yesterday but neither of you knew how to start.

Suddenly Eddie got up, walked to his room and brought a piece of paper.

“You have notes ?” you asked, almost laughing.

“yes y/n do because I know that this is important for you and I fear our whole friendship depends on last night now.”

“oh yeah do you want me to start or…” Eddie interrupted you “Actually I would like to start ” He could barely look at you “because I feel terrible.”

His voice got serious and he also looked really serious.

“y/n first of all I feel so sorry that you have a Crush for so long and never told anyone, I cannot imagine how you felt all those years. I believe you had your reasons to not tell anyone for so long but I promise you that I am a trustworthy secretkeeper.”

Now he looked at you directly again “Eddie, I promise you it wasn't about you that I didn't tell anyone. I just .. Uh I just had the experience that it would be better to keep it to myself. You are not a bad friend.”

You could see the relief in his eyes. “And if you suggest to ignore it, I truly believe that this is the most horrible idea ever so my suggestion is that you can come over or call whenever you need and you can tell me everything that goes on in your heart.”

“Even if it's boring or childish ?”

“Yes even, if it's boring and even though I absolutely cannot understand what you see in Steve”

“Hey!” You started laughing “but you are right sometimes he is a dumbass.”

Eddie looked at you with that soft smile, not a lot people have seen. And you couldn't resist rushing over to him and giving him the biggest hug and whispering a “thank you so much” in his curls.

Eddie knew if he lets go of the hug first it will break you again, so he gave you all the time you needed.

The hug felt so nice Eddie is always so warm and despite his reputation he is so gentle. It brought tears to your eyes having such a good friend as Eddie. You let go of the hug to wipe away those tears.

Eddie opened the two bottles of Yoo-hoos, handed you one and asked “So what exactly do you like so much about Steve?”

At first you actually thought that Steve was like all the popular kids, a jerk. But because of your friend Robin you got to know him better, and even a friendship build up. It turned out that towards you he was always a bit nicer than to anyone else, because he actually liked you as a friend. That was also what hurt so much sometimes, not that it is completely unreal what happened between you and Steve that it was in fact real but in a platonic way and never in a romantic way.

The whole afternoon you told Eddie about Steve, and Eddie listened patiently, a few times he asked some questions but he was silent most of the time.

This went on for a few weeks. Everytime Steve did something nice for you or something that gave you even more butterflies in your stomach. A day later Eddie and you met up and you told him every detail you remembered.

Again you sat alone in the library, waiting for Emma. You didn't like her after all but working alone on such a big project sucks. You read some articles and made some notes but honestly you were exhausted. You needed a break so you went outside for some fresh air. It was a nice and warm summer day but right now you couldn't enjoy it at all.

Steve called your name several times but you didn't hear him. He ran up to you and asked you if you were okay. And then you broke down. He immediately held you tight and stroked you back softly.

“What is it that makes my girl so upset?”

“You know the Project with Emma.” you quietly said between sobs “she is never on time, never helps and even if she is doing her work, she does it so bad I have to correct half of her work.”

“Hmm” you could feel the vibration in Steve's chest. “Did you ever tell her, what bothers you?”

“I tried, but she never really listened. You know she always wears her walkman”

Steve pushed you away a bit “y/n you need to tell her. Don't be afraid. You are a strong woman and also one of the smartest person I know and I hate to see you this sad because of that bitch” hearing him saying that made you sob even more

“promise me you will tell her.”

“yes I will try” you said with a weak voice

“No trying y/n. You will tell her.” Steve sounded really serious.

“Yes I will” you tried to sound strong even though you felt weak. It took a while for the compliment to reach your brain and even more important your heart. Steve told you that you are strong and smart and did he call you his girl? It doesn't matter, you hugged him tightly again and whispered a thank you.

"Of course.” Steve said softly “It kills me to see you crying.”

If he only knew how often you already cried because of him.

But he was right the next day you confronted Emma for her behaviour. Emma didn’t realise you felt this way, she tried to be on time and to her parts more carefully so you don't have to correct her all the time. You could finish the project and you could focus on your Personal summer fun:

Spending as much time with Steve as possible.

Because you mind was finally free of the project you also decided to wear cute outfits to school again. You wore your favourite dress that was cute and comfortable at the same time. You felt like amazing wearing it, and it shows, the first second Steve saw you in that dress he went: “wow, y/n beautiful dress, you look amazing”

You don't care if he could see you blush, you just said thank you sheepishly.

At Eddie's place you giggled and kicked your feet while you talked about Steve. Eddie listened and asked a few questions and just made sure your feelings were heard.

But you also told him how you felt because Steve will never be interested romantically in you. And tears filled your eyes over and over again. Eddie being the good friend he is, comforted you.

“You know y/n I will always be here for you, whatever it is you can always tell me even though it's the same thing over and over again” that made you smile a bit again.

“But honestly I am mad at Steve, because he doesn't even know how he makes you feel, like he says he hates to see you cry but half of the time he is the reason.” Eddie's voice sounded harsher than he had expected.

“It isn't his fault, it's kinda my fault because I have that stupid crush on him.”

“You don't choose a crush, It isn't your fault sweetheart.” his soft voice is back “don't defend that Idiot, any guy who will end up with you can consider himself lucky.” you couldn't hear his hurt voice, you just were happy you had such a good friend as Eddie in your life.

[honorhearted]

Benjamin chuckled, somehow able to picture them scaling the side of a manor like mountain climbers. "All right, so I suppose noble wasn't the best word," he agreed, "but I still would've paid handsomely to see you both in action. Perhaps tonight...?" Here, he gestured toward the library window, which gave way to a terrace on the outside. Lips quirking into a challenging grin, he amended, "But then again, what would the outcome be in such a feat? It isn't as if there's anything to prove, other than you are such a bold, reckless woman. Because that was the impression you were trying to convince me of, yes?"

Belle's skepticism was merited. Mulling it over, he allowed, "All right, so I suppose using the word 'all' was foolish of me, because obviously, not all men can adore the brash and daring types. It's just, where I grew up, the menfolk tend to like a bit of a challenge." He chuckled. "As it stands, I'd be curious to see a rifle in your hands. The recoil alone would probably drop you clear onto your bottom."

Belle mirrored his grin, appearing equally amused by his own claims for misadventure. “You broke a window? Not with your fists, I hope. I image that would make quite the mess."

"The mess is what you care about? I'll remember that," Benjamin teased. Waving a hand, he assured her, "But no, I didn't break them with my fists. A dear friend and I decided it would be a bright idea to start throwing rocks at windows. Long story short, it was not a good idea at all, but we at least had fun doing it...for a time."

“She does not hold disdain for men, I assure you. It is distrust she holds for them."

Despite the innocence in such a statement, Benjamin momentarily froze. How would Emma feel, he wondered, once she found out the truth about him? How would Belle?

The thought sank heavily within his stomach like a rock, bringing a sour, searing wince across his face that he quickly blinked it away. "She's right," Benjamin softly offered. About everything. "I wouldn't say I didn't take her seriously at the start -- she's quite intelligent -- but I can see how a man might take offense to being bested."

Belle's head jerked up, and once her face warmed in disbelief, and her eyes darted between his own and the floor, it became clear he'd potentially overstepped. Damnation, why was he so poor at this? Why could he never speak his heart without leaving equal parts damage?

Before he could think to apologize, she took a cautious step toward him, her hands fidgeting as she offered, “I suppose it would depend on what level of interest the gentleman had. If it is a fleeting infatuation, then I would certainly advise him not to act brashly. And I would kindly remind him that if I am to partake in a courtship, I would wish for it to be genuine. That, ideally, it would end in marriage and, in time, a family.”

A family...

Benjamin's heart soared at such a thought, but it was just as quick to dash against the proverbial rocks, scraped and bloodied once he realized that no, no, of course he couldn't -- his infatuation would likely last forever, but they couldn't be wed because of the obvious. It would be a cruelty, were he to pursue.

Belle took a long moment to compose herself. Her gaze remained on the ground a moment longer, but then she looked up and nailed him in place with those bright, all-encompassing eyes. “I believe I would advise him to make his interest known. Because I think I would be quite interested as well. In a courtship, I mean. With the gentleman.”

"Belle..." The sudden heat in his face made his knees wobble, and in an act that would likely be his undoing, Benjamin lifted a hand and gently cupped her cheek, his thumb tracing the corner of her mouth as his gaze remained riveted on her face. Oh, he had surely damned himself...so why could he not bring himself to regret this misstep?

Before another word could be spoken, the double doors to the library burst open, and a tipsy couple stumbled in over the threshold, giggling and whispering with clear intent before they realized they were no longer alone.

On instinct, Benjamin grabbed Belle and pressed her up against the nearest bookshelf, hiding her face against his chest, and curling his fingers through her hair, seeking to protect her identity from any potential shame.

"Oh...sorry," the male newcomer said, snickering as his female companion started giggling again. "Guess we'll go find a different library to peruse. Carry on then!"

After a moment, the doors clicked shut, but Benjamin remained stock-still, breathing hard and holding Belle against him with firm resolve. Closing his eyes, he brushed his lips against her hair and pressed a soft, lingering kiss to her brow, seeking to apologize since the words could no longer formulate.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.

Belle snorted, raising her hand to her mouth as an amused chuckle bubbled from her lips. “I’m not sure anyone would consider two ladies scaling the side of a manor to be noble, but I appreciate the thought. I nearly twisted my ankle climbing the trellises. The damned man just had to have his study on the third floor.” Shaking her head, Belle let the thought go. The trio had been lucky that night. With the Earl out of his house and his house staff oblivious enough to the trespassers, the mission had been successful. But Belle wasn't ignorant to the fact that such a thing could've gone horribly wrong.

“Would they?" She rose her eyebrows and offered him a pointed stare. "Because from what Emma says about American men, they are just as scared of strong women here as they are in England. Granted, I merely assumed it was a flaw in the sex rather than the origin, but perhaps I was wrong."

Listening to him recount tales of his disorderly conduct, Belle couldn't help but grin. It was hard to imagine the well-spoken and charming man that stood before her could be capable of causing any sort of scene, but she supposed it wasn't impossible. The more she thought about it, the more she realized that hardly knew John, and, in the grand scheme of things, they were practically strangers. They had not grown up together like she and Emma, nor had they been friends for years like she and Dunford. Even so, Belle couldn't deny the connection she felt with him.

“You broke a window? Not with your fists, I hope. I image that would make quite the mess." Belle tried to picture what the scene might've looked like. She'd seen her brother drunken and disorderly a handful of times, but even then Ned was purely clumsy with his words and money.

“I wouldn’t hurt a fly without good cause, at least. The same can be said for my attitude towards men. But, fortunately, I do not wish for you to shake in your boots in my presence. Slight apprehension of angering me would suffice. Thankfully, I do not envision you being on the receiving end of my ire any time soon. And that is not a challenge.”

“She does not hold disdain for men, I assure you. It is distrust she holds for them. As do most of them towards her. Most people think her weak and incapable of business merely because of the body she was born in. If she were a man, no one would question her dreams. Her brashness… it’s a defense mechanism of sorts. Like a porcupine. If she’s bristly and off putting enough from the get go, then it’s harder to hurt her. Not impossible, mind you, but certainly harder.

“You didn’t hear it from me, but Uncle John and Mama have both been hoping she finds a nice English gentleman to marry. It’s why he sponsors her to partake in the social seasons every now and again. Of course, under the guise of visiting family. I can only imagine before long, theyll grow impatient and arrange something for her. She’s quite determined to commit to the bit.

“What?” Belle’s head shot up at his question. From all she had gathered, Emma had taken interest in this John Bolton. After her arrival it wasn’t hard to see why her cousin had become so infatuated with him, but Belle had hardly expected herself to fall for him too. She had reasoned that they were friends. If they were to be anything more than that, it would have to be in-laws, or something of the like. If Emma liked him, Belle had no right pursuing him. And yet the idea of him wanting her made a bubble of guilt rise in her chest.

“Well,” She swallowed hard, fidgeting with her hands as she spoke. “I suppose it would depend on what level of interest the gentleman had. If it is a fleeting infatuation, then I would certainly advise him not to act brashly. And I would kindly remind him that if I am to partake in a courtship, I would wish for it to be genuine. That, ideally, it would end in marriage and, in time, a family.”

A moment passed as her thoughts raced to organize themselves in her mind. She was only silent for a few seconds but it felt like hours in her head before she opened her mouth again to speak.

“So, if the gentleman’s interest aligned with such ideals.... then I would hardly consider it a foolhardy endeavor.” Taking a deep breath, Belle finally rose her gaze to look at him, the blush in her cheeks brighter than ever. “In fact, I believe I would advise him to make his interest known. Because I think I would be quite interested as well. In a courtship, I mean. With the gentleman.”

[kisforkerosene]

i don't really hide my sexuality from my extended family but I don't really talk about it either, so most of my cousins know but I don't think any of my aunt's and uncles do

so during a family dinner, whenever lgbtq politics or whatever come up all my cousins turn and hit me with the I know what you are look

[aroaessidhe]

2024 reads / storygraph

In The Care of Magic

cozy erotica novella

the only witch in a small town of humans who regularly use her services but are ungrateful goes to her cottage in the woods to get away for a bit

she comes across an interesting book in her library and decides to summon a sex demon to relax, and after a few days they also start to become friends

bi MC, aro agender LI

Blessed By The Cupid Distribution System

romance/erotica novella

follows a woman feeling lonely and left out on valentine’s day who wishes to experience a relationship

and a cupid on her first free assignment - who hears her wish and offers to find her a potential date, or they could spend the day together

and then they spend the day together. etc.

trans demisexual MC