#and just like that demoralised as fuck
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xamaxenta · 2 years ago
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God damn it hyperfocusing on me being on my best behaviour for work bc i have to fcking do an event promotion thing with my boss tmrw and saturday and i dont want any shit or awkwardness didnt work out bc i mixed up some files and sent them to the wrong peoplee aaaahhhfufhbdjsknsmsorhdn
😔😔😔 work just aint for me huh i cant do this shit yall
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kenzan-kiwami · 3 months ago
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everybody claims to be a kashiwagi enjoyer but the only time anyone ever talks about him is to say he's the hottest piece of meat in the series
#this goes for a lot of characters but he's the one i pay the most attention to#this probably isn't even remotely profound to most people who follow me but it really feels like a massive proportion of fandom nowadays#only cares about fanwriting if it's within 1500 words and rated E#there are some notable exceptions of course but fuck there just doesn't seem to be any real feedback on anything anymore#unless it comes from people i share small discord servers with and chat to every day#the number of times i've linked my textual analysis pieces to people who say they're fans of the character it's about#only to get brushed off in favour of the next off-model drawing of him with his balls swanging#it's demoralising#i don't want to be the elitist ''nobody likes him the way i do'' jerk but this is a lot of the reason i haven't been as active on tumblr#on top of me (mostly) running out of games to play then going on holiday and coming back to my steam deck's display not working#(it's still in for repairs)#maybe when i get it back i'll liveblog yakuza 4 but i'm starting to wonder if there's a point in using tumblr#when the only people who engage are people i speak to directly on discord anyway#like why not just cut out the middleman at this point yknow?#well. guess i'll get back to my sawamura ikki rabbit hole#expect arai posting when i get my steam deck back#me#text#kashiwagi osamu#idk lol i don't want to put negative fandom commentary into the character tag but i DO want this to be in the tag on my blog itself#i don't think there's a way to do that anymore
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centaurself · 4 days ago
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holy mother of christ doomerism is exhausting
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confinesofmy · 4 months ago
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my in-some-ways-closest cousin called to check in on me because my mom's deathiversary was the other day and we talked about it abstractly a couple of times then like actually talked directly about it and i talked a little bit about how awful that whole year was because that was the year i gouged my eye and lost my cousin as well as my mom and <three other major things> and i think about everything that happened every day and about two sentences in she interrupted me to say we needed to change the subject so she wouldn't cry. okay. well we wouldn't want that i guess.
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lokh · 5 months ago
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bro what the fuck???????????????
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captainclickycat · 10 months ago
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Urgh I think I need to change jobs. Bleurgh. Fuckety arsebiscuit wank.
I was really hoping this one would work out.
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ilovefredjones · 1 year ago
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WHYYYYYY do employers always make you provide details of your education & previous employment in a whole separate application. JUST LOOK AT MY CV. THAT IS WHAT IT’S LITERALLY FOR.
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29121996 · 1 month ago
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.
#gwtting into an argument w my.mother abt wheyher its ok to hit children or not is so fucking .#youre rlly going to stand there and act like hitting ur kids is Okay . knowing how i turned out#like . she rlly went 'i know ppl who were abused and they turned out okay !!!!' but fid tbeu tho#did they . or do they appear put tgth and luke theyre not effected.#anyway insanity. wverything i asked her. her answers contradicted her stance#or basically gave me the impression she doesnt see children as anythung but extensions of adults until tbeyre a ceetain age#or smth like that . idk i just cant ubderstand that#theyre mini adults. theyre tiny people. they have no real.conceot of how this world works lmao#why does a child deserve tl be smacked bc tbey dont understand somethibg and theyre having Emotions they dont entirely grasp either#like . a child doesbt need to be hit to be punished lmao#yes some people are just Born Fucked Up and theres no . real way to fix them or etv the fucm she said.#but not rgen they deserve to be smacked lmao . theyre still CHILDREN and as far as im concerned#theres no such thibg as too late at that age. sorry but that may be naive but. those are Children.#u wanna tell me u dont tjink u can skmewhat iron out awful demoralising trsits in children by the time theyre . 20. like .#anyway . thjs shit w my mother + the stuff going on w my cousins#dawg i wanna be someone in the law system#the irony kf me sayinf tbat whe i pretended i didbt see my jury duty letter (i Hate Mail. I cannot stand the idea kf physically sending#a letter. i Hate the post office!!!!!!)#anyway . gotta be rich enough to work part time (10-15hrs a week) and study#while also keepibg a socisl life. woo.#i rlly refuse to go to uni until i have a savings acc of $10ktbh or#a partner willibg to support me w half an income bc i will neve rbe fully financially responsible on someone else#and i know i never will be i value my indeoendency too mych to allow someone That much control over me lmao#like i will nrver not have ny own siurce of income. i refuse 💜
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thistlekiss · 4 months ago
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It's very isolating when everyone you know is going through hard shit and you don't want to pile your shit on top
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reincarnatedintospace · 10 months ago
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It really sucks that I have to constantly apologise for my ADHD and memory issues. Especially at work, I know my team is trying to help but it feels so fucking infantilising have someone send me screenshot of the "correct" (Australian) spelling of a word. And that everytime I have to tell them that yes, I appreciate the reminder, but it WILL happen again, as I've said coutnless times and there's nothing I can do about it. Or, to be told how to do the exact process I normally follow but for this particular mistake that my memory loss got in the way and my ADHD twisted things. Yes, thank you. I don't need to be told how to do my job in that way. And it will happen again. Either make the process more accessible to me or stop. Why do I, the person with the disabilities keep having to remind the able-bodied people of how my disability works. It seems like they're the ones forgetting. Now with this new mental health thing that's made itself known, my memory loss is so bad and is only going to get worse. How am I even supposed to do this?
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tenacityreturns · 2 years ago
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idgi really
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maxlarens · 5 months ago
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1 + logan
1) touching foreheads
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You probably shouldn’t be doing this.
Logan is your coworker— your boss in some sense. If someone else got wind of this you’d be in deep shit, you’d probably lose your job, or at least get a formal warning. But you’re not sure what the fuck else you’re supposed to do. How are you supposed to ignore him?
He’s not even in his driver’s room, he’s squatting around the back of Williams hospitality by the fucking trash bins. His head in his hands like something terrible has just happened to him—
and it has. It has.
Williams performance as a whole would be demoralising if you cared. If you were paid an adequate amount for the experience that you bring to the role. Alex routinely can’t get higher than a P15, James is constantly going on live television to tell people that the car is fourteen kilos overweight and Logan hasn’t got through a race without a DNF for months. You’d be depressed if you hadn’t decided that you didn’t care anymore.
You have to decide you don’t care anymore. To preserve your sanity, so you can job hunt and try to get hired by another team in time for next year’s season. Logan doesn’t get that privilege.
Logan is sitting next to a bin with his head in his hands because he cares. Because he can’t stop caring. Because he has to finish this season even if it means DNF after DNF after DNF, even if it means he’s not getting a seat next year. He’s not. You’ve heard James talking, you’ve delivered drafted versions of contracts to other drivers. You’ve heard comments in the hallways, “if he’s not performing, he’s not performing. He’s not cut out for Formula One”. Sometimes, it makes you want to scream— but you remind yourself that you don’t care.
You have no control over it. So what if you like Logan, so what if you believe he could be good if people just gave him a chance? These geriatric old men don’t give a shit what you have to say. They don’t give a shit about Logan either, not anymore.
He’s not crying when you find him hiding behind the motorhome. You think he should be… you certainly would be. After what happened on the track.
“Logan,” you say, gently, softly, like you’re approaching a skittish animal on a highway, “It’s me.”
A beat. Then he lifts his head to look up at you, eyes red-rimmed but not wet, his hair tousled like he’d run his hand through it a hundred times. Sweaty from the balaclava. He’s still in his fireproofs, and his racing suit hanging around his waist, dragging on the floor.
“Oh,” he says, “What’s up? Does someone need me?”
You shake your head, feeling like your heart is going to fall right out of your ass, “No,” you sigh, “Sorry.”
“It’s okay,” he’s saying before the word ‘sorry’ even leaves your mouth, “I was just asking. Saves you the trouble.”
He’s looking at you like he’s the concerned one. Mouth parted, eyebrows knotted together. But you think you might cry. There are tears, wet and hot sitting in your tear ducts and you’re trying so desperately to blink them away. He doesn’t need this, he doesn’t need the pity.
You fucking hate this sport.
Okay, you don’t. You love it. You love the noise of the cars as they pass you on track, you love the politics of it, you love travelling around the world every week, doing your job flawlessly in a new place on two hours of sleep. Sometimes you even love Williams. The desperation of it; driving parts from the airport to the track yourself because it’s cheaper than hiring a courier, fighting tooth and nail just for something as abysmal P18.
You do love it.
You just hate what it’s done to Logan Sargeant.
Swallowed him whole, chewed him up and spit him out onto the pavement.
You abandon your clipboard of tasks. Williams might fall apart without you, but you find that you don’t care. You take half a step and squat next to him, ignoring the way that your heels dig into the skin at your ankles.
“Are you okay?”, you ask, putting a hand hesitantly on his bicep, not sure if it’s okay, not sure if you’ve ever touched him before.
He’s nodding, jaw set into a line, eyes unfocused, “I’m fine. Just need to try harder.”
Your heart goes splat on the ground below you.
He’s leaning into you, pressing into your hand, his body tilted toward you even though he can’t look you in the eyes. You don’t think he notices. He doesn’t say anything but you think it’s fine when you move closer, tiptoeing next to him. Shoulder pressed against his. Your head is almost in the brick wall, but you swivel to face him.
“Tell me if you want me to stop,” you breathe into his ear as you press your forehead into his temple, your hand wraps around his shoulders in a haphazard hug.
He shakes his head, practically melting into you. Shifting some of his weight to balance against yours. So you’re holding each other up.
“It’s okay,” he says, “It’s good.”
“You don’t need to try harder,” you say, apropos of nothing, “You’re doing enough, Logan. It’s them. It’s them.”
He’s shaking his head before you can finish your sentence, but he’s got his eyes clenched shut like he’s in pain and he’s leaning, practically falling into you. You’re holding him up— and you’re pressing a chaste kiss to his cheekbone and then you’re pretending that you haven’t because you shouldn’t, because he’s your coworker.
“Don’t say that.”
“It’s true,” you say, but you know that he’s not really hearing you and you know a little more of your love for Formula One is being hacked away at, falling into a churning ocean that is liable to swallow it whole.
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drdemonprince · 12 days ago
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Hey Devon. This is related to community-building ask, as I feel it kinda hit something in me, and that is my frustration with my local queer "main community", who is mostly made up of people who can work/hang together (people in visual and performative arts, LGBT NGOs, event organisers and so on). It's so closed off and so circlejerk-y that it's demoralising. I've been trying to fit in ever since I started being an adult, almost ten years ago, but I have never made any progress on getting to any of its members. I have made queer friends who are wonderful people, and as you said in the previous ask, that is enough and makes a community of our own already. Nevertheless, it is frustrating for all of us to go to a queer space/show/event just to see that the crowd there is made up of people who know each other and talk to each other and make big groups, while we're just sitting there. It brings us down to know that for queer political events like protests (which are ofc organised by them), we have no one left to fall back on except us. It makes it weird when only one of us is able to go protest, they'd rather not go because it feels so lonely to be sitting around all those people who just know each other, who have been passing by us for so many times over the years, and yet never take interest in even saying "hi" or whatever. It makes us think that they're fucking disingenuous and their "community building" is a load of crap. And I don't really want to feel like that about my people, but look at me, after almost ten years in my city, I fucking do.
Hi there, thanks for your message.
Let me just say that while I understand where the perception comes from, the queer people who put on shows, run nonprofits, and go out clubbing are not "The main lgbtq community" in your city. They're just a bunch of cliquish, careerist, young, privileged people who market themselves as such because they've been convinced that's what the "queer community" is and because doing so helps them get butts in seats at events.
I've seen theater kids, drag performers, DJs, comedians, party promoters, and other various people of the attention-seeking arts (said neutrally) do this all my fucking life. They stake a claim on building "feminist spaces" and "anti-racist" spaces, too, among other things, and use those higher values to sell tickets to their shit too. It's a way to make every tragedy that strikes oppressed people into an advertisement for their burlesques and shit. Don't let the self-important myopia get to you.
The real queer community? In any given city? Well, it's not any one thing. There is no singular "queer community". What people often refer to as the LGBTQ community or the queer community is a demographic, not an actual community. That demographic is marketed to, including by fellow queer people, but that does not a community make.
A community consists of people who know one another, and have enduring bonds, and who have shown up for one another mutually in multiple ways. A lot of these hot cool stylish young queer people are actually merely colleagues of one another. When there's a conflict, or a cancellation, or a venue that closes, they will be tossed to the wind like so many dandelion seeds. Compare that to you and your friends, who can and do remain in contact as the seasons of life change.
It is demoralizing to see so many people who talk a big game about community fail to show up to do activist work that is meaningful to you. I can't deny feeling the same way. For many years, I dated an actor who was very plugged into the local scene, and while his theater company had a reputation for being progressive, trans inclusive, even left-leaning, almost nobody in that collective did anything for the broader 'community' at all. They were all too busy being overworked five nights a week for like a $200 per week stipend, writing plays in which they repeated leftist platitudes but did relatively little.
I'm being a big overly cynical here -- the theater did just put on a big pro Palestinian fundraiser -- but the fact is that running a club, a theater, a local education org, or a regular drag show is a business, and in the end the business always comes first. Even when the members of that business might not want it to. They're often extremely exploited and underpaid, which is part of what makes them so hungry to market themselves and maintain their careers. I have sympathy for it. But meaningful social connections and local impact it does not make.
All of which is to say: please try to remember that these people presenting themselves as the symbols of the local "community" are just a bunch of artistic kids who are trying to make a living doing what they love. They're naive, exploited, a little self-absorbed yes, but they're ultimately not that important. they just deal in a very self-important line of work.
There are SO many queer people all around you who never go to those fucking clubs and shows and aren't even on instagram. The "main" queer community, demographically, is more like the nerdy 40 year old gay couple that lives down the street from you who goes out to the movies once or twice a month and holds board game nights with their friends. The "main" queer community is volunteering at the zoo, going camping with their fraternity brothers that they met 20 years ago, working at the car dealership, planting tomatoes at the local community garden, taking care of elders with dementia, organizing weekly running groups.
You can find people like this -- total normies -- who will care about causes greater than themselves and want to contribute to community building efforts. Many of those people are already doing a ton to make community. It's just less sexy and less self-consciously queer than like, the dance parties. It's also more diverse, accessible, and capable of meeting people where they are at.
It does sound like you would like to meet more activist friends / politically engaged friends, and for that I'd say try looking at pro-Palestinian (for example) events and spaces and seeing who turns up there, checking out a local food not bombs chapter, looking up local mutual aid groups or buy nothing groups, getting involved in hyper-local initiatives, and putting what feelers you can on local forums and personals boards (like Lex, local Facebook groups, local Meetup groups, etc). You probably wont find a perfect space, but you will find worthwhile people scattered everywhere you look!
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ceilidhtransing · 4 months ago
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I really don't get the connection between feeling scared, hopeless, demoralised about the US election and not voting as a result. Personally speaking - and I know I'm not everyone - feeling scared and hopeless and demoralised about this election would only make me more determined to vote, rather than just give in and accept failure without even adding my ballot to the pile.
Except I'm not American, so I don't even get to channel my sense of fear and helplessness around this election into voting. People all around the world are shitting ourselves at the prospect of America allowing itself to elect Trump again and we don't even have votes we can decide not to use. All we can do is watch from the sidelines and fucking beg eligible US voters to do the right thing. And I can't even describe how horrifying it is to be in a different country and see Americans online say things like “what's even the point in voting; Trump's already won”. Because the entire world has to deal with the consequences of whatever Americans choose to do this November, and the vast vast bulk of us don't even have the tiny luxury of being able to decide not to vote.
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myddle · 2 months ago
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Okay Uzi, lets start Murdering, some Drones
The finale of Murder Drones has come and gone, this show has successfully buried it's way into my cerebral cortex, and I will now think about it until I die
Anyway, lets speculate on what the fuck just happened in Episode 8 (And Episode 7 a bit too I guess)
Warning: Biggest Post Yet, Spoilers, Opinions
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I Was Wrong About The Admin Thing, And I'm Okay With That
Last time I did a post like this, I speculated that Uzi's Administrator status would be the key to victory against the Absolute Solver. In truth, it was a blink-and-you'll-miss-it lore point, which makes sense in hindsight, because the whole Admin thing was a blink-and-you'll-miss-it lore point to begin with. This kind of environmental storytelling is good to put in a text, of course, but casual viewers need to be able to follow the plot without it. Truthfully, this is actually an area where the show usually stumbles a little; if there's one criticism I have for Murder Drones, it's that it show-don't-tells a little too hard sometimes. Luckily, this show is good enough for me to want to excuse it's flaws by any means neccessary! FOR EXAMPLE,
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Khan Doorman: Mischaracterised, Or Traumatised?
So, Khan was kind of acting a little too badass at the end there, huh? This drone was a delusional door maniac at the start of the series, but now he's this stoic badass with a goofy side? Huhwhat? Explain THAT, Smart Genius!
How about I do? Call it a theory, but I think that THIS, is the real Khan, and the dingus we saw at the start of the series was a broken shadow of him.
Khan was a respected man, seeming leader of the Worker Defense Force, front of the line in finding Nori and Yeva just after the Core Collapse, and say what you will, he can build a good door.
And then tragedy strikes. The Dissassembly Drones strike, and while the WDF fends them off, they are not without casualty. Nori is devoured by nanite acid, and Khan beats her head in to end her suffering. The worst has happened.
While Nori's heart sneaks away to go make the plot happen, Khan spirals. His efforts to fight the DD scourge have failed, so he turns to doors. He doubles, triples down, becomes obsessed with the only thing that hasn't failed him. His daughter still wants to take the fight to the enemy, but Khan rejects the thought so hard, he rejects Uzi with it, hence his "doors>uzi" bullshit in the first episode (for the record, I'm not justifying it, I'm just explaining it, he was still a piece of shit for this).
By the time "Pilot" rolls around, Khan has been in a door-obsessed fugue state for... maybe years, I don't think we ever find out how long ago Nori's "death" was. But by now, he's barely functional; Uzi's second excuse to go outside literally only worked because it was door themed. His fear and delusion almost kill his only remaining family.
But as the events of the show go on, Khan is shook out of routine, and his stupor begins to fall away. In "Heartbeat", he defends his daughter's eccentricities. In "The Promening", he clumsily attempts to be part of Uzi's life again, and watches her build an alliance with N and V. In "Cabin Fever", he opens up to Uzi, revealing the darkness that haunts him and admitting to his mistakes. By "Mass Destruction" his mind has mostly cleared, and while he's still a door-loving goofball, he trusts his daughter, knows what he needs to do, and is ready to kick some Solver ass.
Wow, turns out I had a lot to say about Khan friggin' Doorman, do excuse me. Alright, onto the actual finale, now.
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And Now, A Summarisation Of My Thoughts On "Nuzi"
yes
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TradJedy: A Bootlicker To The End
I've seen some people are unsatisfied with J's villanous and, lets be honest, kinda pathetic role in the finale, but as sad as it is, I think it was true to her character. J is, above all, two things: Tessa's closest, favourite drone, and a corporate underling for some reason. Cyn wearing Tessa's skin was no doubt the most demoralising for J; Tessa is dead, the killer is pantomiming the life she never had, and you can't stop her. Plus, J likely knows better than anyone just how powerful the Solver is, how futile resisting it's conquest could be. But, to have a place alongside it? An offer of safety? Why wouldn't she take that offer? Hell, even V was tempted by it; when Cyn confronts her, she almost instinctively says "I can still...", as if her survival instinct is telling her to serve. J simply gave in.
Anyway, onto some details:
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"If I promised you anything, it tricked me too."
I've seen people get confused by this line, but I think J is speaking on behalf of Eldritch J, formerly the J clone that led N & V's DD squad. That J seemed to fully buy the JCJenson cover story, at least to me, and J Prime appears to have deduced that. I don't think she has all of Eldritch J's memory, though; that "PRIOR HAZARD" poppup strikes me as the impersonal knowledge of an error report, rather than personal experience of getting blown to pieces.
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"I never needed either of you."
Yeah, buuuuuullshit. J definitely doesn't really mean this. She's in bridge-burning mode, trying to convince herself more than anything that she's moved on. That offer of safety has gained a heavy price of two old friends, and J is pushing herself to pay it.
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Local Autistic Teen Fights God And Wins
This uno-reverse-card moment felt a little out of nowhere at first, but on a rewatch, I think I get it. While the past few minutes fighting Cyn were utterly nightmarish, and some of the most gruesome stuff I've ever seen get done to humanoids, it did teach Uzi one thing; resisting the CallbackPing is suprisingly easy. Before this episode, it seemed like the USB Patch was the only hope for escaping the Solver's clutches, but apparently strong willpower and personality is enough to stop it temporarily, and that gets a lot easier to pull off once you know that you can do that. A single "Bite me" or the hand-hold of love is enough to stop Cyn's advance, and once Uzi fully realises that, it stops scaring her. In addition, Uzi's use of the [NULL] shows that she is a very quick learner, and can easily adapt to Cyn's tricks, allowing her to pull this "no-u" and turn the tables on Cyn. This quick thinking is also what wins the battle against Cyn in the end, catching on to how she uses the teleport.
Teleport... that seems familiar... hey, WAIT A SEC-
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Doll Is Alive And I'm Not Coping; A Thesis
Everybody has pointed to this frame after Uzi eats Cyn's heart; the box that says "UZI DRN" briefly says "RSN DOLL" instead. But funnily enough, that isn't even the first thing that made me suspect that Doll might still be alive deep within Uzi's code.
If you look closely at Uzi's new gradient eyes, you'll notice that thEY'RE SO PRETTTYYY AAAHHH <3 <3 <3
*ahem*
If you look closely at Uzi's new gradient eyes, you'll notice that a subtle but distinct tint of red sits in between the yellow and purple ends. Admittedly, you can also see pink and orange, so it's not airtight evidence, but it was enough to get me speculating. Obviously, that RSN DOLL frame basically confirms it on it's own, but I found some other stuff too, and I thought it was interesting enough to share.
Uzi consumed Cyn's heart (some of it anyway), and Cyn lived on inside Uzi, possessing her tail in the post-credits. Back in "Mass Destruction", Cyn consumed Doll's heart, and while the scenarios aren't one-to-one, it can be reasonably inferred that Doll might live on in Cyn, who now lives on in Uzi, resulting in a situation oddly reminiscent... of Russian Dolls. BWAM BWAM BWAAAAAAM
It's thematically resonant, which means it's basically canon, right?
[There used to be another thing here about Solver Powers, but it turned out it was a lot less airtight than I thought, so I'm moving it to another post. Thanks to @1-800-hellyeah for the catch]
In conclusion, Doll lives on in the depths of Uzi's code, and that matters. The ramifications of this are unclear, and there's another thing with Doll in the credits, but we'll get to that in a moment with...
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The Credits Scene Lightning Round
The credits are full of scenes of the surviving cast enjoying life after the Battle For Copper 9, and while I haven't heard anything about their canonicity... I mean, they look canon. Liam has stated that this is the end of the series, and I'm inclined to believe him, but a lot of this stuff feels like plot hooks he could pick up in a second season someday, if he wanted. Or maybe he just left them to feed the fanfic crowd long term. Either way, lets see what we've got to chew on!
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J Prime, Alone
Man, despite how much of a prick she was, I feel kinda bad for J. She gave up everything for the Solver, only for the Solver to get defeated anyway, at least for now. She's repairing one of the ships she destroyed, presumably to leave the planet, but where is she gonna go? What is she gonna do? Fake Tessa's JCJenson credentials imply that the company might still be operating out in space somewhere, but trying to pal up with them feels like a long shot, especially since J Prime probably has some blood on her hands from Cyn's orders. ...What's left for her?
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Goopy Ghost Doll
Okay, so if Doll is in Uzi's code, how is she also here? I honestly have no real clue, but my best guess is that since Uzi is arguably the most powerful entity in the setting now, Doll could utilise a fraction of Uzi's power to project herself out into the world, unnoticed? Maybe? That's the best I've got. Anyway, she's probably gonna try to kill V again, knowing her.
And don't say it's just a hallucination or something; everything* in the show has either been real, or an illusion with a clear source. They've been very good about not pulling the hallucination card, and I'm inclined to trust they wouldn't do it now.
*I just remembered the weird skeleton thing behind V in "Home", I'm not sure what that counts as
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Yeva's Corpse, Or Lack Thereof
People have seen this shot of Doll's house, and said that the absence of one of the covered bodies implies Yeva is also alive. While Nori proves that your body doesn't even need to be missing for you to maybe be alive... I don't know. I'm hesitant. If she's alive, why get her body back now of all times? It feels like there are other much simpler explanations, like maybe her body is just on the floor now, 'cause everything started floating at the start of the episode, and actually, didn't N pull the cover off of those two, anyway? Maybe he put it back, I don't know. Make of this what you will, I got nothin'.
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Eldritch J, Alone
Oh, SHE'S alive. Now THIS is interesting. Her heart did survive the explosion in "Heartbeat", and I guess nobody's been down to the Cryosleep wing since. Understandable, I wouldn't exactly be eager myself. But it's possible Eldritch J was able to recollect all the matter that Cyn "gathered" with her back then, and has grown back to full size.
Now that Cyn isn't around to run the Solver, Eldritch J is probably fully sentient and aware now. That must have sucked to wake up to; last she remembers, she got shot in the face by a purple gremlin, and now she's this fucking thing. Oh man, my brain is already writing the fanfic where J Prime finds her whilst infiltrating the Outpost for ship parts. (That concept is free to grab it anyone wants to)
Alright, lets finish this off...
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Cyn
I've long wondered about Cyn's true nature, whether Cyn is a remorseless mastermind or a tragic puppet of the Solver's true will... The finale didn't give us a straight answer on this - The two seemed narratively entwined in Cyn's heart, but in the post credits scene she seems... friendly. Friendliest she's been, potentially. Plus, The illusory camera heads appear in Uzi's reflection seperately, implying a seperation between Cyn and Solver.
After everything, I think I've personally settled on somewhere in the middle. Cyn was a willing accomplice to the Solver... for as much as that can mean for Cyn. In "Home", Cyn is contacted by the Solver on the brink of death, and is offered salvation, to not be discarded like she was before. Her life before this was likely very short; her owners probably threw her out pretty quickly due to her "quirks". Tessa tried to give her the love she gave to her other drones, but it was already too late; Cyn would spend her formative years under the influence of the Solver, so it's no wonder she ended up so morally twisted. She talked about her "back-ups" to excuse the deaths and suffering of her fellow drones... was it an excuse? Or does she genuinely think that made it okay? How much does she understand... anything?
She's acted without remorse, but she's only had the full perspective of a detached eldritch being that only cares for consumption. But even then, her personality shines through. She seems to have genuine affection for N, even if she expresses it in horrid ways. Her alignment with the Solvers goals seems to come from a personal desire for revenge on humanity, considering how she plays out the gala. And despite the circumstances, she's visibly enjoying herself in "Absolute End", having an absolute blast fighting the trio. It's like a game to her.
Her crimes are great, but she's hardly the only one in this show with a kill count. I believe that if someone gave her that USB Patch, then sat her down and explained how reality works, she would have a full change of heart and crisis of remorse.
In a way, she was a lot like J; a willing, but coerced minion to the Solver of The Absolute Fabric. The Void. The Exponential End.
I like to call it The Voiceless One.
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shego1142 · 3 days ago
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Okay so… I don’t really want to make this post, mostly because I feel like I’m always the one wearing tin foil hats on tumblr
But listen… I understand being upset and sad and afraid right now
But yall some of these posts are going beyond doomerism
Some of these posts
A lot of these posts, actually
Look quite a bit like demoralisation
So many of these posts I’ve seen look very much like purposeful targeted demoralisation
And I do hope everyone can understand very quickly how bad demoralising people right now is.
I do hope everyone can very quickly understand just how much people in power stand to gain from demoralising us.
I mean, you know, not that I’m saying that there’s a psyop taking place on the website that has routinely had multiple proven right wing/conservative/white supremacist psyops take place or anything
You know, that would be bonkers.
But all of these blogs out here saying that everything is hopeless and nothing will ever get better and we are all doomed and we should just tear each other apart and play the blame game?
That’s a little fishy.
Especially given that now more than ever is a time to stand with one another and hold on to hope and start organising together.
All of these blogs just blind faith accepting the election results as they are and not even considering any bad acting is at play? Just rolling over without any hint of a fight and implying that everyone else has to as well?
That’s a little fishy.
Especially given that:
The election results are not certified until December 25th and the House and Senate do have the power to object to the electoral college votes (especially if enough pressure is put on them to do so)
Especially given that it took a long time before we were sure who won in the last presidential race and it looked like Trump had won that first week back then too
Especially given that Kamala Harris’ Concession speech is not legally binding, and if it is found out between now and December 25th that she has won, then that will still be considered a legal win.
Especially given that many states, including battleground states, are already doing a recount and many more states are presumed to follow (So far Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, Nevada are recounting the ballots and Arizona and Texas are considering)
Especially given that there has already been proven minimal forms of tampering with the election process including multiple burnt absentee ballot boxes, bomb threats at polling places, as well as just plain human error whether malicious or benign.
So… you know… anyone posting on here saying that hope is dead and that we should all hate each other and everyone should just fuck off and stop caring about everything and stop supporting each other?
That seems a little bit fishy, doesn’t it?
That seems a little bit fucking sus, doesn’t it?!
Especially given that, even after all is said and done, even if he 100% did win and there’s no doubt that it’s legitimate
He’s still being sued for multiple charges and violations of conduct, he could still end up in jail
Especially since even if he doesn’t, even if he is sitting as acting president one January:
We have 2 and 1/2 months to mobilise
2 and 1/2 months to organise
Sure would be convenient for Trump and the 1% and the right wing pundits to make everyone feel like everything is hopeless and tragic and to pit leftist against democrats and what not
Sure would be useful to them if we were all just sad and hateful to each other these next coming months
Like I’ve seen many posts tying to do.
You can feel your feelings but if you start advocating for us to attack one another, for women to fight and hate leftist men who voted for Kamala, for black people to fight and hate other people of color, for leftists to hate democrats for not “going far enough” and for democrats to hate leftists for “going too far”
And all this bullshit in-fighting
I’m just going to assume you’re a bad actor and block you
This isn’t the time for the blame game, there’s no fucking one to blame other than Trump and most likely Elon Musk’s money.
Now isn’t the time to give a shit about why the election results are what they are.
Now is a time to stand together, united, to make our communities better, safer, sanctuaries.
Now is the time to talk to one another, to not strive for perfection but for safety.
Call your representatives
Get your passport
Print out as many copies of books (especially banned ones) as possible and fill your local little libraries with them, fill it with zines about community building too,
Check out these links:
Talk to the queers and the people of colour and the disabled people in your community
Book a meeting room in your local library
Talk to your librarians, talk to your teachers and health care workers
Talk to your local conservationists.
Don’t just talk to leftist spaces either, remember:
There is Power in Making Friends, Not Winning Battles - reach out to your community and find out what the real issues are, it’s very rarely actually just hate, it’s usually fear and poverty.
Do nice things for your community in the name of Queerness - in some places you can adopt a road and make it beautiful, so this with a group of queer friends and get a plaque that says “This Road Was Adopted by The Queer Community”
Get together with your minority friends and figure out how to open a soup kitchen (easiest than you think and registering as a non profit is actually a great way to stay safe for many reasons)
Have your community see you as a part of it, not a threat to it.
Speak at schools
Fundraiser for the library
If you’re included to do so, you could partner with different religious groups as well, especially since there are in fact religious groups that are inclusive and welcoming and supportive.
Make your community know that the “threat” of the “lgbtqia” is non-existent
Don’t make yourself less queer, less a person of colour, less disabled, etc, don’t fade into the background
Become a shining beacon of positivity and goodness that everyone in your community can see as an asset to the community.
Give back more than you e ever gotten.
I know how difficult that can be but trust me, it will be worth it. Work with the leaders in your community to lobby for more rights just in your town and then you can lobby for more rights in your state.
Just like how many states have now said that if Trump tries to do mass deportations they will stop him, work to create that solidarity within your own communities.
Do not sit quietly in fear doing and saying nothing but hopeless things for the next two months.
Do not let anyone convince you that it’s over.
Do not become another statistic.
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