#and just act like whatever
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#just this n mUST post because#I just found out the boY at work I was talking to again n was surprised he was being so like warm n shit w hugs#and then I took a trip! came back! one good day!#and then cut me off complete ab#avoidance#won’t come near me at work won’t text back#and then today I see him leaving with a girl from the back#and he is trying to go so that I don’t see them and I did#and believe me …. I’ll find out who she is !#personal#and it just is shitty and weird like be HONEST#why cANT MEN BE HONEST#MEN ARE INSECURE#WEAK LITTLE BEINGS#just say you started talking to someone else it WASNT serious w us but#you can’t just cut me off for the THIRD TIME#and just act like whatever#the third fucking time#maybe this is the the charm that breaks the curse of him
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you know, you know. no gods, no masters, no kings on pedestals. everyone is fallible. death of the author. you know! you are balanced about your intake of media - you allow the wiggle room, the grace, the gratitude, the skepticism. nobody above criticism.
but still. a weird gut-punch feeling, something akin to betrayal. you read the article. surprise! an author you love is actually: a serial fucking predator.
well, shit. what now. no, you knew he was a person (all people are), but now you're wondering - what have i overlooked by accident? what messages have i internalized that are strange and cruel? and also, like, what the fuck?
his actions lay a thick glaze on top of everything. like each place is now ruined, opaque in a new way. but okay, fine, you've done this before. you knew better, right? you've been betrayed by many a cherished childhood author.
still, this stickiness. fuck. can you pick up that book again. will you read it to your children. you've recommended it to others - will you ever do that again? and of course, of course, no parasocial relationships. you were theoretically above this kind of sentiment. but the artist informs the art, right.
so it's not something as clear-cut as feeling he owed you, specifically (a stranger) better behavior - just that you kind of, in a distant and odd way... sort of trusted him to do better. it's not like a real trust or something speakable, just the faint hope that the product (good books) was a thin representation of the soul. now it feels like the product (good? books?) was a mask. in some small or insignificant way, your previous support of this person lent them power. your money and your time and your laughter.
and the thing is - you have this terrible, echoing sensation. how many times will this happen? over and over. you find out that the singer you love is actually a predator. you learn over drinks that your favorite high school english teacher is in jail for what he did to her. you listen to the news idly and suddenly discover that a woman you used to idolize has been abusing her kids for an actual eon.
what can you touch without the static melting off. you can't even really complain about it too much (you were supposed to know better, and besides, you don't want the same re-split "it's not your fault, love what you love" basic advice), but now it's here. somehow, it feels like - you let him into your life.
it's not that things need to be pure or an artist has to be like, endlessly perfect, mindful. demure. it's more just this terrible truth that has been replayed through your veins so often it feels criminally vain. power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely. did you want any one person to be worth that power?
it's just that he wrote books where he seemed to understand that. he seemed to know about hierarchies and unfair systems and bigotry and privilege. you thought they were books about what it means to struggle. you thought they were about having power and still using it for good rather than for control. he spooned you a narrative of being a good guy, a kind soul. you fucking bought what that fucking monster sold.
maybe that's why they were fantasies, after all.
#spilled ink#warm up#oh im .... sick to my stomach.#i talked to him. like ....... we talked. that man interacted with my poetry and writing.#that article.... gutwrenching. i am so sorry to everyone he's ever even been in the room with.#i feel.... like... unbearably. sick.#he acted like he was cool and friends with me!! we were cool internet writers together!!!!!#i feel sick for even having been polite to him.#i ...... am experiencing something so fucking complicated.#i wonder how many of u are feeling that too. like ''oh i sent him an ask and he was funny and sweet''#THATS HOW THEY GET U. ..... and YES I KNOW!!!#i am so fucking well-read about parasocial relationships. it would just be nice to like. trust that someone ISNT#hiding a huge fucking background of BEING A COMPLETE MONSTER. LIKE WHAT THE FUCK.#by the way i am not part of a fandom. this is “what the fuck i accidentally supported a rapist” not#“but my showww”. like i care far more about like. the human cost.#but also like... people are people. idk i saw a take on here about how nobody should mourn the books#and idk. people almost always reply to any scenario with their personal experience first -#''i knew him'' or ''wow i was just at that store'' or ''i grew up there'' or whatever. because that is how we establish connection &#emotional weight. that's just... a person thing. and there is a difference between 'oh this guy is a monster'' & the feeling of:#he's been a monster and i SUPPORTED THAT. i CELEBRATED him. i !!! a fucking victim myself!!!!!!!!! SUPPORTED . HIM.#i am sick. i feel so much pain for her and everyone he's ever hurt. saying ''the books are ruined'' is i think ... like how people say#they're shocked and disgusted by him. (obviously there's nuance here. im sure there's some creep doin it wrong. but u know. in general)#idk..... im an author. i understand my work is in your life in whatever small way. i understand that connection. it's real.
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there is, famously, a huge amount of social pressure on gnc cis people to transition. society just wants more trans people, trans women especially. this is a real and serious problem. there are just too many trans women making egg jokes. we have to protect the poor cis people from being compared to us (which is clearly and self evidently a horrible thing to do clearly)
#juney.txt#I'm gonna drink lighter fluid#are the people calling every single gnc cis person they see an egg in the room with us right now?#this is not a real thing that happens but if it was it wouldn't be a thing worth taking seriously#you people just found a sociably acceptable way to act like trans women are oppressing cis people#so you can Heroically Tell Them Off or whatever#over fucking *nothing*#I hope every single cis man wakes up tomorrow in a basement with an estrogen needle stuck in their vein#especially if they're gnc#oh god I just realised why they constantly bring that up in this stupid hypothetical#it's to give the hypothetical cis person an aura of queerness.#so that disrespecting their gendernonconformity#by suggesting they might actually not be a guy who is fem (queering it) but rather a gal who is fem#becomes some kind of queerphobic erasure#it's trying to reframe things to make it look like trans people even talking about the idea of eggs is Punching Down against other queer ppl#God fucking damn it
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good morning sifloop nation
#loop is so fucking hard to draw bc I can never tell how I can center the face on their cookie cutter as head#its literally just a pair of eyes and yet it fucks with me every time 😭#idk what came over me bc suddenly im imagining these two freaks in the funniest scenarios for my own pleasure#im not even halfway thru the game yet im still on act 2 bc I havent been able to play it in a while#genuinely though I am curious as to how ppl would go about describing how u would kiss loop. this isnt even a jab at anyone#in fact I admire whoever pushed their imagination to the limits to find a way to make loop kissable in ways science cannot explain#and other fun activities#I think itd be funny for them to do 7 minutes in heaven bc normally 2 ppl go in to smooch or whatever in the closet#in their case two of them go in but only one of them comes out alive. bc theyre like that#are they fighting or are they fucking. the answer is up to you#sifloop#myart#my art#in stars and time#isat#isat fanart#isat loop#isat Siffrin#Siffrin#loop#doodles#shitpost
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(Forgot to post again)
A birthday present for a friend :)
#fanart#sketch#my art#artists on tumblr#in stars and time#isat#isat siffrin#isat fanart#isat odile#isat mirabelle#mirabelle#odile#siffrin#isat spoilers#Kinda!#I've actually never checked the room needed for that dialogue#I think?#But I know it exists!#And I wanted to leave some not so noticeable spoilers littered on the sketch without exactly spoiling anything#Mirabelle holds some random book I thought of that would have horror but also some romance in there#Whatever book she meant in that one dialogue#Siffrin is just a curious bean#Because wow the horrors#Odile is just chilling#Basically it's like set in post-Act 6 but I didn't want to spoil TOO much so the hat stayed#Maybe it's a new hat#Posing isatober thing didn't work out so have this little thing instead#I still think over what did some random guy find in that sketch#First normal Odile sketch! Took me long enough#it's 2 am
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imagine you go to a school where everyone fawns over this one girl who is like this preppy little air head who's hyper focused on her appearance and her social standing who just all of a sudden starts getting really attached to her goth roommate who does really good academically, to the point where the goth girl gets invited to go meet the president and discuss a future career in the government.
and on the day the goth roommate is leaving, the preppy popular girl has a public falling out with her boyfriend, announces to everyone she's changing her name in solidarity with her teacher who was arrested for being a radical, jumps a train heading to the capital without telling anyone she's even leaving, and then the next thing you hear about her is that she's a political prisoner being held by the secret service and her goth roommate is the most wanted fugitive in the country and is on the lam
#im saying is that there is a time jump between acts 1 and 2 of a few years at least#and I just wanna know how they managed to make Glinda NOT look suspicious as hell in that time#like it straight up looks like she tried to assassinate the wizard lmao#the only reason Elphaba looks more suspicious is because shes the one that ran and they intentionally groomed Glinda into a figurehead afte#and scapegoated Elphaba immediately#wicked#wicked spoilers#wicked part 1#wicked movie#not actually movie specific by whatever#glinda upland#elphaba thropp
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Killing Daisuke’s parents but also like feeling so bad for them.
Imagine your kid absolutely devastated to have to be sent away to some shitty internship but you think it’s for the best. You don’t hear back from the company for a while and just think it’s gonna take a while. It’s a long trip after all. Then those long weeks turn to long months and then you get news they haven’t had contact with the crew in a long time. You don’t know if you’re ever gonna see your kid again.
You don’t know if he’s coming back from a trip he didn’t want to even go on. That you made him go on. I’d never forgive myself.
#thinking about autonomy and the concept of doing the right thing cause Daisuke really wasn’t meant to be there#like all the signs point to it but damn like not even he wanted to be there he was just acting brave for the adults around him#maybe Anya should’ve been concerned like how much of this was posturing from Daisuke#this also just confirms I’m writing him correctly in my fic cause I’m a genius but whatever I know I’m awesome like totally awesome 😎#mouthwashing#Daisuke mouthwashing#mouthwashing game
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Actually I think we should talk about how incredibly fucked up it is for sapphic women to say shit like "I'm no better than a straight man 😔" when attracted to a woman in a way that isn't 100% pure and wholesome, or act like men's attraction to women is inherently dirty, predatory, or objectifying.
#like i mostly get impacted from this as a straight trans man#and the way people- even my friends- have acted like my attraction to women is now morally worse since i came out as trans#but this also affects like. bi/mspec men? it's shitty to shame them for their attraction to women!#and even cishet men. acting like objectification or predatory behavior is just inherent to male attraction to women#let's shitty men off the hook because 'they can't help it' or whatever#or victim blames anyone abused by a cishet man because 'what did you expect from being in a relationship with him'#yeah so like. sapphics stop saying this challenge#transhet#anti-transmasculinity#again i'm tagging because that's my personal experience with that sentiment but it has a ton of other issues too#antimasculism
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4 MINUTES (2024) I 1.03 "I didn't think you were like this. Like what? Like this..."
#4 minutes#4 minutes the series#userfaiza#userrlaura#uservix#userrlana#tonkla#win#win x tonkla#wintonkla#tonkla x win#jjay patiphan#fuaiz thanawat#thai drama#bl series#thai bl#after this episode i feel that 'the woman was too stunned to speak" meme because whew girl....#jeez louise tonkla is kinda self destructive tho#but i kinda get it: he's grieving and korn ignoring him must sting extra hard#but win seems to be quite self-destructive as well if we're being honest....#also tonkla's sleeping with win is not only because he's sad and wants to distract himself#it's also maybe a way for him to punish korn.... like 'look what i'm doing while you're not here' kinda stuff#but im still rooting for them to fall in love bc that would make things EXTRA complicated soooooooooooooooo#plus kinda interesting how he's acting completely different with win - he's not faking anything the same way he does with korn hmmmmmmmmmmm#and i kinda respect win just going with the flow tho - my man was not complaining and doing whatever he was told#love that tonkla kinda looks like the mafia boss and win is his boytoy - surely this doesn't mean anything....#mywork
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Thinking about the fact that in s1ep6 when Barry burns Rafe's arm, poor baby probably had to bandage himself up all by himself. It just makes me so sad for no reason because Rafe's always alone and he literally has zero support system. And, his hands were shaking when he attempted to steal from his dad's office and when Ward catches him, he doesn't even look concerned or notice the burnt arm of his son??? Something about that just makes me so mad and sad like wtf. Rafe needs a big hug, man. I soo wanna be his stress reliever, his balm that calms him and more. I am literally not normal about this man. Like imagine someone burning ur arm on a fucking motorbike and having no one to turn to but yourself :(
#rafe cameron#rafe obx#drew starkey#rafe cameron x reader#obx#and yall dont come for or @ me for babying this man#i am not normal about my fav white man ok???#rafe just needs a big ass hug and pussy and so much more#god i will die for him#i cant be normal#not when he looks and acts like that and has a shit life/parents#anti ward cameron#anti barry#Rafe also could've also just went to the hospital or whatever but i doubt he'd do that since thats so ooc as hed have to explain#where he got the injury from and more#plus he literally likes handling his problems on his own so I cant see him going to someone else for help#especially when hes vulnerable and injured
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Reminder that you can do whatever you want forever
#hat talks#i just feel like we're all desperately trying to put ourselves into boxes with everything#seen a lotta talk recently about needing to have certain qualities to be portrayed as certain animals#or that gursonad have to look or act in one specific way#but MAN you can just do whatever you wang#you know that right
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taash said "they were doing it" and people ran with the interpretation of an npc that doesn't know solas or the history of the elvhenan even when bellara interjected and said, no, that's not right. that's not how it was for the elvhenan. they formed bonds before they had physical bodies. and people ran to doompost or create weird anti-solavellan shit even though mythal & solas refer to each other as old friends and when she releases him there is no tenderness or love in it. it is the act of unchaining a dog from his post, the stepping down of a general. but to each their own ig.
#let the record show i think love was there. do I personally perceive it as romantic / sexual? no.#mythal's perception of love & care is warped in and of itself#i think they loved each other. but she loved what she could take from him and what he could give in terms of service#not because she was romantically into him#also i wish we knew more about her & elgar'nan. her regret prison form says she holds no love for him anymore#and it makes me wonder when that love soured. was it when she was blighted? before that? was that love also born of duty and companionship?#this is the last post i'm gonna make ab this i think#bc i believe people are too caught up in the modern western ideas of love as thing we give solely to our romantic partners#and we literally have a character go ”our perception is warped bc of the age we live in” and some of you are still being purposefully obtuse#and i think trick saying it's up to interpretation is basically admitting EA had them dumb down the game anyway#if everything ab the rise and fall of the evanuris in game#was condensed to five 2min cutscenes it says enough that whatever the writers wanted#was swiftly cut down by corporate dept. basically saying it's in the fans' court now#also bc it's an easy cop out around new players & non solasmancers who are indifferent ab him / dislike him#as a way to appeal thru a more sympathetic lense of look!! he loved and was led astray#not to mention the clear justinia / leliana parallels#and leliana gets angry if you imply she was romantically involved / in love w justinia#and the romance descr when you remake your inq saying the dread wolf could not predict what it would mean to fall IN LOVE#implying he had never fallen in love before or at the very least experienced a romantic love#also him saying drinking from the well would make you a slave and he gets really upset#yet ive seen takes of ”hes doing this for her cus he dgaf ab lavellan” ?? he got mythal killed when he told her ab the blight#whatever feelings of admiration he had for her have rotted. he is literally burdened by his mistakes and his choice in joining her#i feel like if i were a spirit bound and twisted into a weapon i would need my creator to tell me i am Free. i would need that closure#like when cole says its not abuse to bind him if he asks and solas said thats not always true???#if you perceive her interaction w him in vg third act as#anything more than the way justinia released leliana in inq then im sorry maybe youre just obtuse#solavellan#mythal#dragon age meta
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Good morning randomly thinking about “the air is thick with loss and indecision” and what an evocative line that is
#I think it must be because it was super foggy here yesterday lmao#idk I just love how she uses smoke/fog/haze/etc to denote feelings#and how instead of saying ‘the air is thick with tension’ or whatever is usually used with the expression#she’s taking you right into the middle of the act#the same way starting the song in the middle of a conversation is like the middle of an act#you’re losing me
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I've said it before but I really really really need everyone in the disco elysium fandom to like. look at themselves for a moment and make sure they're not being insanely ridiculously dehumanizing to addicts because I see it way too often. I'm not talking about saying that harry is a bad person, depending on your choices in your playthrough he could absolutely be described as a very shitty person, I'm talking about this weird insistence that harry as an addict/recovering addict/whatever doesn't deserve love or friendship or community because he's just That Bad and he will ALWAYS be That Bad and inflicting him on someone else would be cruel and unusual punishment. like... actually fuck each and every last one of you who says shit like that I'm not joking.
#sorry for the rant#just saw a post about someone who was saying they hate disco elysium ships (which like whatever it's none of my business like what you want#but SPECIFICALLY singled out all the ones that include harry because “god forbid anyone get into a relationship with him”#and continued to talk as if the way harry was at his absolute worst is like a permanent state of being#& i looked further in the thread and it was just a bunch of people getting rage-horny over the idea of this man getting fired & dying alone#because he “doesn't deserve” to have friends or support??????#not even a tumblr post though it was a youtube community post of all things#sigh. maybe that's why it was so .... Like That. idk#rant post#rant#disco elysium#harry du bois#just like... let addicts be people. let addicts get better and be better without acting like it's an impossibility#our lives have value the same as yours#fandom ramblings
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something bad’s about to happen to me
why i feel this way, i don’t know maybe
#tgaa#tgaa chronicles#tgaac#art#great ace attorney#the great ace attorney#dgs#fanart#herlock sholmes#sherlock holmes#dgs sherlock holmes#dai gyakuten saiban#lyric quotes#dark red by steve lacy#idk i had this visual stuck in my head for a couple of days#dgs2#dgs2 spoilers#i feel like after really marinating in whatever the fuck happened in 2-5 i have come to realize how scary this man is#i’ve been watching a play through to see if i can catch anything i couldn’t on my own play through and like#dude he drops so many hints and foreshadowing it’s fucking crazy how the fuck do you know all of this mr sholmes!!!!#he will always be a silly character but i cannot help but remember how genuinely unsettled i was by the way he acted at the end of 2-2#and also the time in the waxwork museum where he was questioned by susato and ryunosuke#where his trolling characteristics were basically implied to be a bit of an act#and i was like. damn. holy shit. because i almost fell for that act too. i almost believed him until he said smth like#‘but that won’t fly with you’ or something and ryunosuke affirmed it by saying that anyone else could’ve made a mistake but not mr sholmes#augh. he’s just a really good character ok
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the way this website treats disabled people is actually horrendous
#yes even the ''progressive'' types always love to imply that literal symptoms of disability#means someone is lazy or that its a moral failing or that they should simply just stop#and the sheer NUMBER of autistic people shitting on other autistic people with higher support needs than them#or who ''act'' more autistic or just have more unpalatable inconvenient or annoying symptoms than them#that cannot be treated like just a quirky trait that makes them more interesting or cute or whatever#i think i wrote like. 2 posts on that where its more coherent than here idk#''this is the autism website'' no. i don't think i feel very welcome here.#mine#yomipost#ableism#actually autistic#i guess other people can add on if they want cause im not gonna be able to articulate much else than that
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