#and ive been half meaning to revisit these as an adult

[p-inkbrush]

Hey guys I'm rereading Twilight and it's making me weird about blood

[gxldencity]

4, 7 & 24 for the 🔥🔥 asks!

4. what was the last straw that made you finally block that annoying person?

Tbh I don't have a last straw anymore. I use and abuse the block button liberally. If I see an annoying opinion, I block. Sometimes, I don't even finish reading the post because you usually can tell it's rancid from the first 2 lines.

I've blocked half a fandom at this point bc of the constant negativity. I simply don't care anymore. I'm here to have fun. If you take personal offense to that then that's your problem not mine.

7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

Alngksgnw as you're said hate IS a strong word and I don't hate characters really unless there is a good reason for me to hate them.

So when I say I began to dislike Dorian Pavus after seeing how the fandom acted towards him, I don't hate him. I guess I do find him fascinating and relatable to an extent but I also don't think he's written perfectly as some people act like he is. Revisiting Dorian's quest as an adult with a fully developed brain and way more comfortable about my own queerness made me realize that I dislike how Dorian didn't really have agency whether to reconcile with his father or not. I know it's the point of The game to have a choice but Idk a bit more dialogue about the choice could've easily solved that problem for me.

I also have issues with Dorian's Indian coding lmao and have since felt like I was duped. It just feels like a cop-out? Like Gaider and team knew about the complaints people have about his comments wrt Asians in Thedas so they made him Asian—only mentioning it in a forum post or Twitter I think 🫠 so to this day ive seen people still surprised that he's Asian—without considering how to code him as Indian in the game.

Things like his clothing having some influences from the cultures in India or family structures and mannerisms. I mean it could be as simple as Indian coding the people of Quarinus so you don't just have this one Indian coded family in the entirety of Thedas. The Alexiuses could've also been Indian coded.

(An aside there's more layers to this like the unfortunate implications of coding a group of people who own slaves as poc but I could write a whole post about Dragon Age's attempts of trying to put Asians in this game)

Anyway, that's canon lol. Fandom makes this all worse. I could just point at the Orientalist depictions of Dorian in fanart and just end it here but nope it goes deeper. Somehow, Dorian attracted the worst kind of fandom. Like the Solas and Cullen stans maybe louder but I was there Gandalf. I was in the trenches. People were forming cliques around this one BNF and their friends. I was in the clique and it was all good until Tresspasser dropped.

You see this clique hated that Tresspasser ended with Dorian and the Inquisitor being in an LDR—because Dorian was off trying to fix a country—to the point where some of them acted like they broke up. Hello? Okay 1) That is such a poor reading on long distance relationships 2) Dorian...got a phone crystal for the Inquisitor, u know a tech that didn't exist in Thedas so they can stay in touch.

It also isn't enough that they didn't like it. Others have to Not like it as well. I remember talking to the BNF about my Inquisitor and Dorian, how they stayed in touch as Dorian was y'know trying to fix a country and the BNF told me that it was a depressing situation for my Inquisitor and Dorian...even though it isn't and they're perfectly happy.

(An side, not from this clique but I wouldnt be surprised if some of them also held this opinion but I saw some accusations from folks that Bioware is homophobic because Dorian and the Inquisitor are in an LDR. This is how batshit this fandom is).

Anyway, to keep it short, I was 19-20 when all of this happened. I probably said some stupid shit around that time but I should tell you these people were in their late 20s to early 30s. They were affected by a 19-20 year old with just a handful of followers saying stupid shit. They were so affected by the barely adult saying stupid shit that one of them stalked me, vagueposted about me and when I found out they were vagueposting about me, proceeded to gaslight me and told me I was the one stalking them. :)

Not only that, they also harassed one of my friends to not posting their fics ever again, harrassed a friend of a friend for trying to steal the BNF's spotlight 🙄. Come on some of you have fucking children.

I don't think I could look at Dorian in the same way which is a shame because for a time he was important to me but like God, it was rough.

I also have not forgotten nor forgave :) hence why I have the studio behind that chorus game or whatever it's called now blocked :) and would not be playing it. Do not care if David Gaider is the one writing it. I mean he kinda was the weakest link in that writing team imo (and I also hate his prose).

24. topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

Very cliche but anything to do with the mages and templars

[pyrait]

On my adolescence

I've taken it upon myself to revive this ol' blog.

I was eighteen when i was last active on here. Graduating high school. Before that, i'd been reposting a lot of um, not-so-inspirational not-so-healthy pics of half-naked women of a certain body type if you know what i mean.

Harder than looking at others' skeletal bodies, was coming to understand deeply the feelings that where going through my own body at that age. Starting from 15 years old, i had a pretty tough time. Undiagnosed mental issues, diagnosed eds, negligent and abusive family members, and a lack luster social life is something i cannot just erase from my past. However, i've always felt this urge to hold on tightly to the resentment these tragic stories meant to me, fearing that since no one else seemed to pity me for it, if i decided to let them go, all of my suffering would've been for nothing.

I really thought that magically, once i had everything worked out and "suffered long enough", the universe or my ancestors' ghosts or god or whatever would congratulate me with a bag of coins and a puppy to my doorstep. :p

And well, i kinda got everything I wanted. I've moved out of my parents' into my own big apartment, i have a loving long-term partner, a bunch of diverse friends that are kind and soft, i graduated from my undergrad and got a job right out the gate.

Would you be surprised if i told you that i felt more miserable than i ever had after all this? Ofc you wouldnt.

A classic story of crazy expectations. Coupled with not knowing who the fuck you really are or want beside the "wants" you plea for yourself.

I've spent the last month or so in bed, half depressed, half slacking. Asking myself what's so wrong with me.

During that time i realized some things. 1) i can't expect some divine reward for anything. 2) no one's gonna come on a white horse and save me and 3) in short, my life is mine and only mine to build and enjoy.

And believe it or not, a crucial piece to this whole self-loathing mystery was in this here blog, lol.

Despite how nostalgic i usually am, i never revisited this blog before. While exploring old reblogs and personal confessionals, besides the obvious body image and eating issues i had, what caught my attention at first was how i actually had... tastes.

Like, i liked pretty pictures, and aesthetics. I had a soft spot for beautiful landscapes. I loved art and history even then. It might seem banal but I realized the girl i thought was only a caricature of suffering and awkwardness was more than that. We shared the same worries. We both thought that our time was running out, that we were both undercooked, immature.

I was a kid. Unfortunately, due to the environment i was in (all girls school, conservative vibes) the only outlet for self development of my adolescence i had was through the lens of sexuality. Basically, being a teen girl was all about being skinny, hot and luring in boys. I remember distinctly making out and giving out my body to a university guy just to feel pretty, or getting an bad-boy-later-on-actually-abusive boyfriend in order to increase my social capital in school.

I didn't really get to explore my teenage years in the way i see others do. With much more flexibility to figure out what you like and don't like. I also don't really have a lot of great or exciting memories from back then, unfortunately. But, what's important to me here is that ive been able to see how this narrative i used to have about me always being confused and devoid of personality was all just, the insecurities of a girl i am not anymore, but that i love profoundly and genuinely.

Truth is, at my old(?)ish age, I was kinda blaming everything wrong on the trauma my parents gave me, on how my peers ostracized me, on how intelligent yet misunderstood i was. Just, a bunch of stories that are definitely engaging, but unproductive and definitely untrue and unhelpful if i am to become a sentient adult who just, lives their life.

Im opinionated, smart, sensitive, nostalgic, beautiful inside and out. im creative, hardworking and ambitious, and im working on becoming a more compassionate leader who builds a life for themselves full of boundless love and generosity.

I don't relate to that depressed girl anymore. If anything Im a newly renovated, depressed adult :D jk, but i see the opportunities ahead, something i didnt for a long time.

love,

[troop52]

do u !!! have any character theme songs for the troop boys? Like any songs you think really fits them (and why u think it fits)?

THATS A GREAT QUESTION!!

Before I get into it Im going to plug this collaborative Troop Playlist on Spotify, feel free to add onto it!! Continuing with my picks

I think a lot of the songs I associate with The Troop in general are just because I happened to listen to them around the same time I got into the book in the first place (So they could only be tangentially related BUT only if you squint hard) Example: Drunk by The Living Tombstone, cant really tie it into the story but in my mind its linked Some better, more fitting songs under the cut (Side note its LONGGG IM SORRY... Also its all YouTube links because some of these arent on Spotify :'^()

Disclaimer -Like 95% of my choices arent really a "These lyrics match up exactly 1 to 1" but more of an overall "the vibe/general idea its trying to capture lines up" type thing. If that makes sense.

Its Alright by Jack Stauber: Kind of self explanatory, I think its a perfect song for these guys. From "It's alright, I'm here, Everything's alright, Feels weird but calm, I wanna hear It's alright" to the whole sound of it- its all great. Equal parts distressing and sad with an almost eerie calmness to it. Despite it all theyre gonna be alright, right?

The Second Little Piggy by Worthikids: Another one that I think is sort of self explanatory- at least with the chorus. "If my brain turns to mush, If the shit hits the fan, Will you be my friend?" Kind of the falling apart of everything, specifically their relationships, in light of the incident.

Poor George by James Supercave: Another case of "listened to at the same time I read the book" BUT I was actually making a Troop PMV script with that song. I never finished it but maybe Ill revisit it... just for you

Cold Summer by Le Matos ft Computer Magic: I dont even think this takes place in the summer but the VIBES and also it came from Summer of 84, which is another good piece of murder boy media.

Treehouse by Alex G ft Emily Yacina: This is a Eef and Max type of song because they are bffs and thats final. Basic song because Im not creative, but I think its a nice heart to heart theyd have (with Eef doing the talking)

Fifteen Minuets by Nick Krol: On the flipside heres a song that goes with Eef and Maxs friendship fracturing, once again more from Eefs side than Maxs. THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTINGGG

As far as songs for the boys as individuals hmmm thats a good one that I havent thought about as much...

MAX + The Ghosts by The Real Tuesday Weld: That survivors guilt... lyrics arent like a perfect match but I think it gets that sort of hollow feeling across. Hes haunted man... + Final Girl by Electric Youth: Ok its a little funny because har har Final Girl Trope but I mean HE IS ONE. ANd dont look at me its a nice song- "Others were gone, and you kept going on, You know they never really noticed, you were always different, One by one, They're all done, And you're the last one standing" + Going Grazy by Lonesome Wyatt and the Holy Spooks: HONESTLY this could go for all the characters but Im tagging it onto Max because hes the one who has to deal with the aftermath of losing everyone (sorry survivors guilt Max again </3) "Everyone's saying my mind is unsound, 'Cause I always see you when you aren't around" "They're gonna wrap me in a jacket of white, And lock me away in a room without light" is what cements it as a Max song for me

EEF + The Existential Threat by Sparks: Once again starting sad, I link this one specifically to his paranoia about the worms- especially with lines like "Can't they see the existential threat is on its way". Kind of exasperated no one else can see the danger (he thinks) hes in. + Wrecking Ball by Mother Mother: I know I know its basic but I cant help it!!! Eef anger issues arc we are shaking hands me too + Haunted by Laura Les: Eef struggles with people seeing him as "just like his father" and I think we can get some good angst out of this track if we keep that in mind. Especially the back half of the song with lyrics like "Do you think I'm frightening?" and "Mirrors shatter when I'm passing, broken glass and crashing" since he is just a reflection of his dad (to others at least). Also song good.

KENT + Goodbye Mr A by The Hoosiers: Mfw the disillusionment with authority sets in. I think the vibe fits when he had that little epiphany about how adults are fucked- not perfect but it gets the idea across me thinks. + I'm Gonna Win by Rob Cantor: Ties into his need to "win" aka be the best at everything, be in charge, all that jazz! Hell do whatever it takes to be successful, even if it hurts. That was a little emo + Toba the Tura by Forgive Durden ft Chris Conley: Not to be emo again but "They say you're gifted, well I just see a scared kid. They must have flipped it, your skills are latent. O, you snuffed the glow. Replaced it with coals. Threw away the throne... This mess that you've made, it's a six-foot grave. It's a home for your lonesome bones that remain. We'll disappear, but you'll stay here to rot" AND SO ON AND SO FOURTH representing his fall after it was revealed he was sick. He was referred to as "the uncrowned king" and was on top of the world but then POOF that all crumbled and it was made out that he basically deserved what happened to him. It would be fun to make a pmv of him with this song (Simplifying my thoughts a bit because Ive already written a LOT)

NEWT + I Earn My Life by Lemon Demon: Ok a little Kentcore but Im actually having a hard time coming up with songs for Newton so here we are, they can share. Newt existential crisis moment time I guess + Know How by The Crane Wives: POV Newt struggles with going through with the plans he makes to keep everyone safe (stopping Max from touching Kent, going back into the cabin, etc) "I am not brave, I am not brave, I keep my focus on what is safe, You drew a line, made up your mind, And now I'm struggling to realize" And also maybe struggling with his place in the group and as a person in general- all that living through his cousin thing. "I gotta wrap my head around, What my heart is telling me, I've been trying to drown it out, Just because I know what I am, I am supposed to do now, Doesn't mean I know, Doesn't mean I know how" + On The Outside by Oingo Boingo: Idk man. Hes on the outside lookin in!! Loner nerd!! Its ok though, we still love him

SHEL + Bad Blood by Creature Feature: The lyrics speak for themselves: "I can guarantee I will do evil things, The only way that you can stop me now, Is if you put me in the ground, Somewhere I'll never be found" + Frontier Psychologist by The Avalanches: Hinges on the fact that the principal or whoever was like "Your sons a freak" and Shels mom was like "HES PERFECTLY FINE" while Shelley was like dismembering an animal or something + Johnny by American Murder Song: The songs good but theres this ONE LYRIC that sucks so the link provided is an edited version and also a lovely Warriors oc video I think you should all enjoy and support <3 Anyway Shel would be Johnny I could see this song being a scene in the book. Field trip to Shels house and they find his murder garden

If anyone wants more for Im not opposed to making another post :^)

[pochapal]

I hate doctor 11 but ive never been able to explain why in like words lmao. He feels like such a mary sue character imo and like theres something about his characterisation that was always just really ineffective (like the stuff about fishfingers and custard or whatever it was). Imo i'd love to hear you give top 5 worst things about the 11 era because i rlly just love when it gets torn apart

i hold nothing but a seething contempt and loathing for that man. every time he appeared on screen i felt ready to snap like a riled up chimpanzee in my enclosure. i am frothing at the mouth and overcome with a desire to start flinging heavy objects. this might be incoherent and inconsistent but i started this rewatch in feb 2020 and only finished this week so i got through 11′s episodes last august/september time and i refuse to revisit it to jog my memory or fact check anything i’m saying here because this man does not deserve the space in my mind for that.

the first thing is i can’t fucking STAND the quirky whimsy timey wimey bit he has going on all of the time. i can’t even say this is because this is a kids show and i was a teen and then adult when i first properly watched him but actually!! when i was eleven years old i’d sleep over at a friend’s house most weekends and it always coincided with the airing of a new season 5 episode and i remember we watched the finale with the dumb time hopping to get out of the box prison that was never explained and didn’t make sense and i thought at the time “this is really stupid”. and before that my only other doctor who exposure was watching the david tennant christmas specials with another friend and throughout childhood my only opinion on doctor who was “this is a tv show that is not for me but is one that all the boys i am friends with like so i will put up with it to maintain our friendships” but at least those episodes were both suspenseful and engaging enough to keep me watching all the way through. like who the fuck does an end of the world sci fi plot and approaches it with an “oopsy woopsy i am a funny little alien man who is going to stop you all by making you do a hecking silly” like it’s unneeded and self-parodies an already cheesy show to the point where it becomes unwatchable and makes it impossible to ever take this man seriously.

next thing that downright sucks ass so badly is the stupid fucking overwritten constantly escalating plotlines. like everything from season 5 up until his regeneration at the end of season 7 is meant to be this grand interconnected cosmic plot about how...the doctor trying to bring back his planet will end the universe or something so all the top powers across all of reality tried again and again to stop him from doing that except he doesn’t know what’s going on so he keeps thwarting these people who supposedly mean good?? i mean i sure don’t fucking know what they were trying to say!! like for some reason we never get the doctor suddenly becomes this superdemon that threatens everything so these people (whoever they are) decide to, in sequence: suck him through a time rift to erase him from existence, trap him in a prison and remake a universe without him, take his companion’s baby and turn her into a perfectly trained doctor killer, form two(!!) secret societies to hunt him throughout history that are only stopped by his companion splintering herself across his personal timeline to protect him, and repeatedly cause reality collapsing events because it’s a kinder outcome for the universe than what he will do. this grand and terrible event turns out to be...he spends a few hundred years chilling by a rift that leads to his home planet and protects a few generations of children from monsters which convinces them to give him infinite regeneration power then fuck off back to their pocket universe. and it’s like!! what is the point of anything that happens in this man’s era when everything is always “the darkest moment” or whatever the fuck!! i don’t care!! we never get a compelling reason to believe this bumbling clown of a man could ever be a universal threat!! the whole thing is so dumb i hate it!!!

thing number three i hate is how the eleventh doctor is ALSO characterised as this abrasive egotistic male supergenius to the point where he becomes genuinely indistinguishable from bbc sherlock. genuinely who enjoyed seeing this guy constantly tell people their tiny human minds can’t comprehend what he’s doing and then basically just wave his magic wand to solve whatever problem each episode is facing. 2012 is the year of human sin because this fucking shitsmear character archetype somehow became both a redditor role model AND a tumblr sexyman and it’s like!! nobody is enjoying this stop making this seem cool! him saying timey wimey thing any time he does anything is frustrating and dumb and locks the viewer out of giving a fuck about anything that is happening! smartest man in the room syndrome is a disease and the eleventh doctor is terminal with it. like remember how they established river as an accomplished scientist (when she wasn’t being a child soldier or a time paradox or whatever the fuck) and every time that came up mr doctor eleven man was like “oh this thing is obvious because i’m a genius and you didn’t realise because your brain is tiny so get out of the way and let the grownups think” or that time it turned out amy had been replaced with a slime clone for half the season and the doctor chewed rory (audience surrogate) out for somehow not realising this fact we didn’t know right from the start and like. this served no purpose other than to draw into severe question why the doctor is also this super beloved magical figure implicitly trusted by all children everywhere like. mr steven moffat is totally allergic to writing and solving mysteries in his tv show and fuck you for wanting to figure things out as you go along based on the new evidence you uncover at strategic plot intervals just let this asshole man use magical thinking to reveal he knew the answer all along and you’re a fucking idiot for not also realising this thing which had no basis or precedent anywhere else in the show.

speaking of dumb things let us not forget the absolute shitshow that was minority representation in this era. i’m not even talking about the low hanging fruit of how genuinely unironically sexist amy and clara were written where each episode moffat either seemed to loathe them or was incredibly horny over them and they had no character growth or arc or fucking anything. i’m talking about how fucking shit terrible the incidental representation was. god remember how every single fucking gay person who appeared in this era was written as one incredibly fucking stupid joke and how the women were all either sexy dominatrix, feeble girl in love, or Mother (or all three in some really terrible cases) and i’m not qualified to talk about this but also how incredibly white this era was and how on two separate occasions we had monarchs reimagined as sexy girlbosses with a gun played by black women who the doctor leched over. nothing about any of this was good ESPECIALLY coming off the back of rtd who was surprisingly forward thinking for 2005 and did a really good job of positing travel with the doctor as queer allegory. in comparison moffat gave us THE MOST heterosexual shlock i’ve ever had to endure. amy and rory could have been interesting characters were they not hemmed into this domestic bickering young straight married couple bullshit that was in no way changed or altered by traveling with the doctor except for the quasi incestuous river song reveal that was dumb and bad and stupid.

the last major mega gripe i have with the series is moffat’s fucking jingoistic boner for british military aesthetics. this carried over throughout his entire tenure as showrunner but was super terrible vomit inducing in eleven’s era. the unironic admiration for ww2 britain and winston churchill is downright wretched. are you incapable of telling a second world war story outside of churchill’s london and plucky blitz fighters. shit gives me hives so badly. and then!!! that weird church owned army that features in the future that end up being bad not for the concept of what basically amounts to an imperialistic intergalactic rendition of the fucking crusades but because they’re part of the nonsense go nowhere puzzlebox narrative that says the doctor is a not good man who will do bad things to the universe :(. remember how rtd’s doctor was a freshly traumatised man hot off the war criminal press who time and time again vehemently refuses to engage in military violence, but who tragically inadvertently turns every one of his companions into soldiers in his own personal army, and he has this moment of complete horror at the realisation and it is this which causes the downward spiral that ends in 10′s regeneration. and then how there’s this cringe line about how there’s a force of people who are “the doctor’s army, always ready to fight his battles when he’s not around” or some shit and then it turns out this is actually massive literal military operation and we’re meant to celebrate this. fuck off.

bonus round because this needs to be said but i have never hated anything like i hated that fucking human tardis episode. everything about it induced violent anger in me from the sickening overindulgence of that softgoth dark whimsy helena bonham carter tim burton aesthetic to the bafflingly terrible evil carny stereotype of those junk scavengers to the overblown sudden tragic shipbait romance of human tardis and the doctor. every word out of her mouth was trite shit and the fact that the death of her body was presented as this super emotional dramatic scene despite there being no buy in or incentive to care and the fact that every single person on tumblr in 2012 ate that shit up like it was fucking gourmet. i loathe every single thing about that episode so much.

[mandos-little-friend]

The Mission

Rating: General Summary: Din goes on an important mission for the covert; The Mandalorian pre-season one Words: 1418 Day 1 general prompt for The Mandalorian Ficathon: target, child

“Beroya!”

The Mandalorian once known as Din Djarin stepped into the forge and inclined his head slightly towards the armorer. “Yes, alor?”

“You understand your mission?”

“Yes, alor,” he responded. “I’m ready to leave now.”

“I don’t need to tell you how important this is?”

“No. I will not fail you.”

“It is not me who you would be failing,” she said crisply in that voice that could be chiding or teasing in equal measure. Not that he would ever describe the armorer as teasing, but she did sometimes seem to hide a dry wit behind her bronze helmet. It was one of her greatest gifts in keeping her often volatile covert in check; no one could really tell where they stood with her. Best to simply obey all instructions, follow the Creed to the letter, and never assume anything.

“It will be done, alor,” he assured her.

“Very well, you should be going then. Time is of the essence.” She handed him a pouch of credits, which he deposited into a slot on his belt. He once again lowered his head in deference and touched his fist to his chest in salute. Then he turned around and walked out.

He was near the exit when a gruff voice called out, “Djarin.”

Din sighed. One of the benefits of being tasked as the covert’s income source was being away most of the time. Din felt a great sense of honor in being a Mandalorian; he was, however, less enthusiastic about being around other Mandalorians.

Paz Vizla, leader of the infantry unit, stalked towards him. Paz was tall and broad and made a point in towering directly over Din. Paz did not like Din. Din did not care about that. What he did care about was his time, and this was wasting it. “I’m on a time crunch,” Din said, hoping to put the big man off.

“I know,” Vizla said with disdain. “I just wanted to make sure you get this right.”

Din sighed and rolled his head towards Vizla, not bothering to hide his irritation. “You really think I can’t handle this?” That was a bad idea, and Din knew it as soon as the words left his mouth.

“You hear that, boys,” Vizla mocked over his shoulder and several infantrymen standing against the wall behind him chuckled. “Our bounty hunter thinks he’s too good for this job.”

“That’s not what I said,” Din said, jaw tense.  Deep down he knew the aggression was a product of the men being stuck underground indefinitely. They were itchy to flex their muscles and fire their weapons.  Hiding underground was no way for a Mandalorian to live. He made himself relax in empathy. “I know how important it is. I won’t let the covert down. This is the Way.”

Vizla stood straighter. Beyond all his bravado, Paz Vizla knew the Way better than any of them, to his very core. “This is the Way.”

“This is the Way,” the others murmured.

Din nodded to them. “I’ll be back soon. Every thing will be perfect.”

With that he swept out. He passed by the bar that served as the Guild headquarters without stopping. He wouldn’t be picking up any pucks for this run. In the ‘Crest, he quickly initiated the ignition sequence and lifted out of the atmosphere. He didn’t have far to go, and a quick hyper jump later had him landing on a moon in the Cadeus system.

Din set down in a starport of medium size, paid a berth fee for the afternoon and headed into the bustling town square. Cadeus IV had virtually no residential population; it however boasted merchants from nearly every system in the galaxy, selling anything imaginable.  Beings came from all over to do nothing more than spend money. The wealthy would make a sport of impulse shopping. Those of lesser means searched for specific items or sought make use of the competitive atmosphere to get the most value from their currency of choose.

Din knew what he needed and found the first store quickly. He entered and spoke with the shopkeeper, giving very specific instructions. The shopkeeper made quick notes and nodded enthusiastically. Din handed him credits and was told to return in three hours.

Din left the shop and walked several meters looking for his next target. A brightly-colored sign drew him into another store. The clerk behind the counter blanched slightly at his interest, but he only nodded and perused the shelving. This purchase was the more delicate of his mission. He had been given only the vaguest instructions, told to use his own judgment.

He picked up an item. He looked at it with an objective eye and shook his head. He picked up another – too small. Another – too large. Din sighed and moved down the shelf.

“C-can I help you?” the clerk asked timidly from the end of the aisle.

“Hmm. What do you think of this?” he asked holding up an item.

The clerk blinked at him. “For you?”

Din growled softly, but swallowed it down. “No.”

“Oh, well that is a popular choice. It’s from a holo-vid serial. One of my best sellers, in fact. Can’t go wrong with it.” The clerk smiled knowingly.

Din eyed it again. “Alright, I’ll take it. Can you wrap it up?”

“Certainly, sir.”

After browsing a few weapon sellers, enough time had passed and Din was able to revisit the first shop to pick up his order. The shopkeeper smiled happily as he handed him the rectangular box. Din opened it up, found the contents satisfactory, and thanked the shopkeeper, who waved him off cheerfully.

Din stowed the items safely in a compartment in the ‘Crest and made the return trip to Nevarro. The sun was setting as he landed; he would make it just in time. He gathered his purchases and walked quickly to the bizarre. Eyes followed him with a variety of looks – from horror, to amusement, to disbelief. As usual, he didn’t bother to dwell on it. Walking the Way of the Mandalore meant putting aside the insecurities of the self in service of the Tribe; Din did that very well.

He took turns, doubled back when necessary, and when he was certain no eyes were on him, entered the secret entrance and walked down the stairs to the sewer hideout.

He walked to the large room set aside as a communal gathering place, which was full to near capacity. Adults stood around the perimeter as the foundlings and creed-born children sat together at a central table. They were in full spirit, all seemingly talking or laughing at the same time. At his entrance, all turned to face him. The children screeched in glee and ran to him jumping up and down. A little girl of about four with dark blonde hair pushed through and reached up to him. “You got it?” she squeaked.

“I did, ad’ika. Your favorite, chocolate.” He handed her the square box and she giggled triumphantly.

The armorer appeared at her side as if from the air itself and plucked the box out of the child’s hands. “I don’t think so,” she said with a softness rarely heard in the forge.

“Buir, please, I want some,” the child wheedled. The rest of the children echoed the sentiment loudly.

“You will all get a piece of cake. Patience, ade.” The armorer handed the box off to another Mandalorian to carefully cut and distribute slices of the confection. The armorer turned back to Din. “And the other?” she asked.

He handed her the second, wrapped package. “I’m assured it’s very popular.”

“Hmm,” she replied. “I trust your judgment, beroya.”

She walked to the table and placed the package in front of the little girl, who already had chocolate cake smeared over her face. “Happy birthday, cyar’ika,” the armorer said and placed a hand on the girl’s head.

The happy child took the package and ripped open the wrapping. Inside she found a doll about half her height, with black string hair and blue painted eyes. She wore a flight costume and came with a removable helmet. “I love her!” the girl shrieked and hugged it to her chest. “Thank you, buir!” She jumped up and threw her arms around the armorer.

The armorer turned and nodded a thanks to Din. He nodded in return and then backed out of the room. It was time to visit Greef and get back to work; the covert needed him.

Mando’a translations:

beroya - bounty hunter alor - leader ad’ika - little one, child ade - children buir - parent cyar’ika - darling, sweetheart

[moistwithgender]

Monthly Media Roundup (June-July 2019)

Well, I neglected doing a post last month, and now another has passed. I haven’t done too much, about three games each month and not anything else media-wise, so let’s get it all done right now!

Little Nightmares (PC/Steam): 

These types of spooky “cinematic platformers”, like LIMBO and INSIDE, never really scare me or fill me with dread. Part of this may be that due to the trappings of cinematic platformers. Checkpoints are very fair, and nothing is too difficult because priority is on delivering the story. Little side challenges exist, like trying to light all the candles or break all the porcelain dolls in the short 3-hour run of the game, but these are also pretty reasonable, even if you’re in a chase sequence. I’m reminded of a youtuber I briefly followed who talked about how horror games aren’t scary anymore, and somewhat unintentionally delivered the point that as you become accustomed to the limits of a medium, and therefore are less likely to be surprised by it, you’re also much less likely to be scared by it. It’s a somewhat unfortunate and inevitable trade-off to becoming more invested in a hobby. When I was a kid, all games held infinite possibility, and so an NPC in Harvest Moon telling me that wild dogs came out at night led me to think that night time held the possibility of ENEMIES in a game without combat. What the NPC meant was that you should build fences. As an adult who has spent my life playing games, I can tell you that a game is almost never going to put you in a situation without the means to deal with it. If there’s going to be combat, you’re going to know how combat works before an ambush. If there’s an escape sequence, you’re going to be in an area that facilitates your escape (often a narrow space that leads you in a direction while also making it as harrowing as possible). Games are theme park rides, and while learning that can make seemingly difficult games more manageable and enjoyable, it also gradually disillusions you. Thankfully, there are always new things to learn if you keep an open mind.

The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time 3D (3DS): 

2019 has been about thoroughly enjoying the games that I considered overrated in my young adulthood. I joked on twitter that 70% of my personality was disliking Final Fantasy VII and Ocarina of Time, and honestly, it might as well have been. I earned a lot of undeserved respect in college through arrogantly spouting hot takes about “objectively good art”, and a lot of people reasonably assumed this must mean I know exactly what I’m talking about. The way I process art and media is much looser and more personal than it used to be, partially due to burning out and becoming too exhausted to deal with other arrogant people. I think a lot about how tiring I had to be for other people to talk to. Watching Tim Rogers bleed his personal trauma into his video series on the subtleties of FF7’s japanese script was the most instrumental in turning me back toward the game. When Square Enix revealed gameplay footage of the remake at E3 this year, I was hooting and hollering with the longtime fans.

But, this is about Zelda, not Final Fantasy. I had already played through OoT, as hurriedly as possible, just to say I had done it. It was the better part of a decade ago, at the urging of a then-girlfriend who had nostalgia for it. Frustrations with the Water Temple in the original version are valid despite it being largely well designed, due to some minor shortsighted-ness that blows up into nagging issues, but I think I had put myself in the headspace to dislike it from the get-go. Similarly, I didn’t want to do any collecting in the game as a whole. I had convinced myself that there was no joy to be found in collecting in games (a take bereft of nuance). When the point of Zelda games is to inspire the player to explore every nook and cranny in search of rewards, going in as a player and stubbornly trying to avoid any of that ensures that you’ll miss the point of the whole experience. I’m not sure what it was that made me want to go back. It might be that I wanted to prove my younger, cockier self wrong, and pave over my old evaluations with more nuance. 

It certainly worked out that way, as several previous opinions changed entirely. Ruto used to be annoying to me, but was now one of my favorite characters. Doing all the little minigames felt rewarding in itself, and in turn I was unexpectedly rewarded with important items (they really did bet everything on the entire world they’d made). The Water Temple, now tweaked for a bit more convenience in the 3DS version, was extremely interesting. The side quest to acquire the Biggoron Sword was easily doable, whereas I had grown up assuming it impossible. And the story which had never appealed to me (because I wouldn’t let it) now felt relatable in a way I hadn’t expected. Link intends to do good, but through unfortunate circumstances and honest mistakes becomes unable to take part in the world, and it spirals downward for years as he remains trapped in a room, aging but inactive. Something about that mirrors my own experiences with depression. Sure, Link, can travel back to his younger self at any time, but there’s still a powerlessness in the inability to affect the seven year gap. You can flash back, but you can’t change what you’ve lost.

Banjo-Kazooie (N64): 

You know, as a kid I probably would have just accepted that Grunty was evil, but as an adult it’s hard not to see her as a product of her environment. Obsessed with asking her cauldron who the objectively prettiest in the world is, she seeks out and kidnaps the younger girl given the title in an attempt to steal her youth. Every character in the game describes Grunty as ugly, rather than evil, and even her own sister shows up in every area to tell you how gross she is and how terrible her lifestyle is. I ended up sympathizing with her more than anyone else. I’ve only played half an hour of Banjo-Tooie, but it was a relief in multiple ways to see her pivot to straight up murder after rising from the dead.

Despite playing Donkey Kong Country multiple times growing up, I’d never really grown to love Rare’s in-house aesthetic of big-eyed cartoony animals. It might be hypocritical, but Smash Ultimate’s reveals for both King K. Rool and Banjo (and) Kazooie made me see the charm in these characters. Something about how Smash canonizes characters as essential pieces of game history always causes me to drop any negative pretense and adopt them as favorites. It’s a little intellectually hypocritical, but I can’t help liking what I like. After the trailer for B-K in Smash, I immediately started up the original game in Retroarch. Thankfully the core I used was advanced enough to play the game without issues (the same cannot be said for Tooie), as other alternatives were expensive or hard to get a hold of. While the slightly-mean humor and talking animate objects took a bit of getting used to, I get it now. I get the children’s show aesthetic they were aiming for, and I appreciate the feel of the physics and control of the interspecies friendship of the protagonists working in tandem with each other, even if the game is at times quite difficult.

Dragon Quest I, II, & III (SNES): 

Yes, I did play through three JRPGs in a row! And yes, you might notice that the hero of Dragon Quest XI (and VIII, and IV, and III) was also announced for Smash Ultimate. They recently released, as of this writing! A lot of what I’ve been playing has been influenced by outside forces, whether it be Nintendo news or friends, but I’m not bothered at all when otherwise I might not have the energy to play anything. The games I’ve been playing are also ones I’ve intended to play for a while, so the excuses have been convenient for me. Though, actually, this decision had less to do with the Smash announcement and more to do with the upcoming re-release of DQXI, which seems to be related to the original three games, known as The Erdrick Trilogy. I had heard that you can play XI on its own, but that there is an extra layer of appreciation to be had if you’ve played the original trilogy. Me being me, I naturally queued them up. I chose the older fan translations of the SNES remakes, and though I did finish them, I can tell you that they have their fair share of bugs (DQII even has a game breaking glitch I had to finagle through using save states across multiple versions, phew). Besides that, those old translations lack the modern localizations of the games, so if they namedrop something in XI, there’s a chance it’ll go over my head. Oops! If you want to play these games, the best versions are currently on mobile phones.

Around a decade ago I was in early college, with no friends except for those still in high school or at another university. I was very lonely and nervous. I started playing Dragon Quest V purely by chance, and it served as the perfect salve for that loneliness, with its lonely child protagonist traveling around the world accumulating found family. It’s one of the more poignant and cathartic JRPGs I’ve ever played, and for the next decade I would actually be bothered that the rest of the games didn’t live up to the catharsis of DQV.

In revisiting the roots of the series, and playing it through to see how it develops from title to title, it finally clicked with me, and continues to click with me, as I keep learning more about the series. Rather than comparing every entry to DQV, I should have been comparing them in order. This might sound obvious, but it really did make a world of difference to see that V’s narrative is placed on top of the foundation the previous games set, rather than a singular case of lightning in a bottle. And the games have always featured loneliness, but in differing contexts, and to different degrees. The hero of DQI is almost entirely alone through the full game. In DQII, the princess comes from lonely circumstances, and one of the princes comes down with a sickness that leaves him temporarily unable to help his friends. In DQIII you can make as many team members as you want, but you grow up with an absent father, and your own good deeds receive bittersweet resolution. They are all games built on simple settings and followed through with empathy. The series is at times disarmingly heavy, which is part of what makes the games as memorable as they are. You’re never quite as prepared for Dragon Quest as you think you are.

As of this writing I’m currently half-way through a replay of Dragon Quest IV, and I’m enjoying it a lot more. I’m looking forward to replaying V. I have no idea what VI will be like. I’ve heard it’s a lower point in the series, but that’s what I heard about II as well, and I ended up loving it, so who knows. Dragon Quest is good.

---

Well, I managed to catch up. I didn’t get into the finer details of the DQ playthroughs, but DQIII is honestly so good I don’t want to spoil it for anyone (you should play these games). Maybe in August I’ll actually get back to watching and reading things. Maybe I’ll try to keep these things to a single paragraph per item, to make it more manageable to read. Let me know what you think, if you think.

[brightlytae]

Okay okay. I'm an Exo-L and I used to be an Army but the fandom really hurt my feelings when I got into EXO. (Like fell in love but I never stopped loving Bts) I felt shunned by some Army who felt like I couldn't like Bts if I liked Exo. So I just became an Exo-L. But after seeing about Bts' new album, I really wanna get back into Bts again. But I find it really hard to do it. Maybe because of what I associate them with. But can you tell me reasons why you love them? Maybe I'll remember too!

Hey there! First I guess I want to apologise on behalf of other ‘armys’ who made you feel like you couldn’t listen to Exo. Unfortunately there is such a longggg and (very tired) rift between exo-ls and army and its just so unnecessary. As someone who listens and enjoys both groups, I believe that there is no reason for others to try and stop people from enjoying both! Kpop is meant to be enjoyed and fans shouldn’t feel like they get to control other fans! I hope that you can get back to enjoying both groups!!

I understand what its like when something effects you to the point that it turns you off from your interest. Sometimes people can be so mean and so pushy that its understandable why you would begin to distance yourself. Something I have always done in being a part of a fandom, is to keep myself away from a lot of the fandom issues- such as fanwars and toxic fans who have a little too much to say about other groups. ive said this a few times on my blog, but BTS are not their fans, and these ‘fans’ shouldnt stop you from enjoying what you want to enjoy!

why do I love BTS? for me there are many reasons:

1) Plain and simply- they make me smile. When i’m having a tough day, when i’ve been working late or something has gone wrong, i can watch a bangtan bomb or a run episode and they make me laugh so much. All of the boys are such characters that compliment each other so well and they all have a streak of humour that is just attached to my funny bone. like they’re just so chaotic and fun, they arent afraid to laugh at themselves and have a good time and that to me, is so refreshing to see. When I watch them, i just feel so connected and drawn in, they make me somehow feel a part of the jokes and i really enjoy that.

2) Their music and message. BTS songs really are pieces of art. I really love how active a role the members have in the production of the songs and i specifically love the way they use their music as an outlet to talk about very real problems that teens and young adults are facing as well as just addressing social issues in such a mature and intelligent way. Songs like no more dream and N.O from their earlier albums, songs like Paradise and Answer: Love myself from their newer albums… these are things that i feel like people like me need to hear. They have reminded me that i will be ok and that i deserve to be happy. They tell me that i am worth something even when i am confused about who i am/ what i want in life and they tell me that i am allowed to believe in myself. They use their talents to create these songs that speak to people and connect to them. When I think about Agust D and Mono i know for a fact that there are songs on those albums that have helped so many people (me included). but also songs like Baepsae and 21st century girls are just so so important too? As someone very interested in politics/class systems/society and someone who considers themselves a feminist- i just love seeing these things being brought up in music!

3) Their bond. The boys are so so so connected and that was one of the early things that really pulled me towards bts and made me stay. i noticed when watching their videos, just how considerate they are of each other, how much they look after one another, build each other up, rely on one another, remind each other that they are doing a good job… that they matter. Their friendship is so beautiful to see and for me, it makes the content they release feel so organic- they’re just so themselves around each other and its very real to me, they ways in which they are dedicated to the group. they are a family and they love each other so much!

4) They are good people. They run the Love myself campaign with unicef and several members have donated thousands to charities around South Korea. They truly want to make a difference in the world and they really want this difference to be a positive one. They’re so dedicated to giving and giving- and we dont see this often with celebrities really. 

5) they are relatable. I strongly believe that groups deserve privacy and to have a personal life but bts have always been very open with their fans and i have such a huge amount of respect for them for doing that. They have been vocal about the hard times they have faced, some of their struggles and they remind us that they are just like us.Where they have opened up, they have allowed others to feel like they too can share their concerns and that is so important! And they have torn down the fan/idol barrier in so many ways and allowed us to view them as friends or family. They really care about us all and want us to be happy- they’ve dedicated songs specifically to give us this message and they never forget to tell us just how much we mean to them.  

6) They work so so so damn hard! They dedicate hours and hours of their time to making music and practising choreography, even on their breaks they find time to record songs and covers for us, go on vlive, post on twitter and connect with their fanbase. But really the amount of work they apply to their craft shows- they’re comebacks are always so flawless and intense, I am always surprised and excited by what they are going to do next and they are never predictable! their music videos are literally some of the best things i have ever seen in my life- the artistry, the vision, the storylines…. its all on another level to me. Things are not half-assed. They make sure that when they want to show us something, that something is perfect and it really is always just. so.  damn. perfect!

7) and that leads me on to the steps bts have taken beyond just music. They dont just give us albums, they have given us a whole world! We get notes, a comic book and short films all dedicated to a whole story-line of events that (sure is confusing af) but it keeps me so intrigued! I cant help but want to always know more, find out what I can and see whats coming next! 

I think ive probably rambled at you for long enough but i just want to say that i  found bts at a time in my life where i felt very confused and unlike myself. Bts reminded me of who I was and what I like. I have to say that Taehyung especially did this for me. As i was learning about them and i saw how unapologetically himself he was, how he was so optimistic and caring, how he didnt let things bother him, he reminded me that i used to be like that and that i wanted to be like that again. He and the rest of the group helped me find myself and reconnect to a lot of my emotions. 

I hope this could help you in some way remember what it was about bts that you loved so much, and please dont hesitate to contact me again if you want to talk about this more! When the new album comes out, I hope you can get back into bts like you want to do! Im sorry again for what happened with those other army who shunned you. On this blog I will never make someone feel bad for enjoying exo or any other kpop group out there. 

Thank you for stopping by and asking me this question. It was really nice revisiting why i love bts as much as i do and reminding myself of all they have done for me!

[always-the-little-spoon]

whats poppin bby? talk to me about every wolf and why you love them.. this list will be long and distracting

oh jeez. umm.. okay.

1. Derek Hale - umm, because it’s derek. in case you haven’t noticed the blog, he’s half of it. adorable, brooding, sweet little marshmallow manwolf. derek had the most potential, and tw fucked it up.

2. Kol Gaumond - i’m a little biased here. Kol is my own creation. He’s a shifter turned familiar. I began writing an original young adult television show because why not. kol’s ace like me, fiercely protective, and sarcastic.

3. 399675 aka Dylan - also another one of mine. but, ya know. he’s a result of the government sticking their noses where they don’t belong. a genetically engineer soldier created by splicing supernatural creatures and humans together. he’s quiet, and i like that, has a large kill count, but takes no pleasurei n it. he does it so his partner doesn’t have to.

4. Garth Fitzgerald IV - who doesn’t like garth? he’s just quirky and weird. i really want to hug him.

5. Beast Boy (if he turns into a wolf, lol) - i mean, this is a stretch. but still, it’s beast boy. I love Gar. he’s adorable.

6. Oz - i may have been in love with oz when i was younger. he reminded me so much of, well, me. chill, monosyllabic (i’ve gotten better) a musician.

7. Remus Lupin - he handed out chocolate as a medicine.

8. White Fang - i loved this book when i was young. i don’t remember much of i now. perhaps i should revisit it.

sadly, this is all i can think of right now.

Thanks so much

-Little Spoon

[irememberwhenrockwasyoung]

Zine Text Draft

Over the last few days we have been revisiting some of the zines we studied earlier on. We then decided to write a mock up text. We will be making a few modifications over the next few days but here is what we came up with:

MITE ELECTROGRAPH II

Welcome to MITE industries. You are part of the family now.

You have made the righteous decision of purchasing the MITE Electrograph II. An excellent choice by all accounts, even if we are a little biased. We have no doubt that you are eager to get your Electrograph up and running as soon as possible so we won’t waste any time in getting you started. So hang loose and let us take you through this groovy journey.

Fig I. Full body shot of Electrograph with anatomical labels.

1 Tinted Perspex Display 2 Interaction Responsive Light 3 Tight Fastening Strap 4 Reinforced PLA Casing 5 Headphone Input Slot 6 Heart Rate Sensor 7 Fast Recharge Connector

INTRODUCTION

The Electrograph II is designed with relaxation in mind to suit the busy lifestyle of any man and now even the old lady can join in too. Whether you’re a chrome dome banker strolling through Kensington or one of those hippy mop tops messing around with grass in Hyde Park, you’ll always have a use for the Electrograph. Its purpose is to relax. By monitoring the users heart rate, the Electrograph can detect when the user is at an unusually high level and trigger an event where audio synthesis is used to calm the user down. Alongside this the vibrant lights on the watch pulsate at a steady rhythm to give the user a breathing guide. This guide helps to lower the heart rate back to a normal level. It’s considerably far out but you’ll soon understand it.

We created the Electrograph with multiple reasons in mind. The first of these covers exercise. During the procedures of such activities as water polo or rowing, one can get a rather large sweat on. In this situation, one might indulge in a refreshing glass of Pimms or an egg and cress sandwich. An alternative of this would be a small interval using the Electrograph. By doing this, a normal heart rate will be restored and play can resume.

Fig II. Mary takes a break from Badminton to calm herself down.

The second reason covers the recent recognition of medical implementations of such equipment. Anxiety is a common disorder in adults and can be very difficult to deal with. One common symptom of this is panic attacks. They can strike in almost any situation and can be very distressing. By triggering the audio playback, the user is given something to focus on to distract them from the cause of the problem.

Fig III. Black and white Shot of lights on and Electrograph in use.

SPECULATIVE INTERFACES

speculative adjective (GUESS) based on a guess and not on information:

The Electrograph was designed as a speculative interface for dealing with the aforementioned conditions. A speculative interface considers using an uncommon approach to dealing with a common problem. A common approach to dealing with anxiety for example would be either through therapy sessions or medication. The Electrograph acts as an alternative to this that is perhaps a little elaborate in theory but potentially more effective than conventional methods in practice. This idea of calming the user with the use of ambient audio. It is explained rather well by founding member of Roxy Music, Brian Eno who explains, "Ambient music must be able to accommodate many levels of listening attention without enforcing one in particular, it must be as ignorable as it is interesting."

SETTING UP

The Electrograph is fitted with a very small top of the range battery that is no bigger than a threepenny piece. It should already have some charge stored up but if not simply plug it into the cable and three-pin plug provided and listen to some tunes while you wait. We recommend Fleetwood Mac’s ‘Albatross’ if you’re in a chill out mood. Once the Electrograph has powered on, you should see a green light appear as shown in the adjacent image. This means that the electrograph is on and ready to go. Place the Electrograph on your wrist and tighten the sleek and modern leather straps firmly. After being on for a short period of time the Electrograph will begin to light up. As your heart rate increases past certain intervals, the lights come on in a series from green to red. Just look at those groovy colours shining through.

Fig IV. Black and white shot of all lights on with no colour seen cause of monochrome image.

RECHARGING

To recharge the Electrograph all that needs to be done is to plug it into the 3 pin plug and cable that are provided. You will find that the battery will charge up very quickly and the Electrograph will be ready for normal use again! Similar to the set up, a green light will turn on to signify the configuration is working correctly. If the light does not show then the Electrograph still needs some more time to charge. In this time we recommend you count the magpies on the adjacent buildings to see what your day holds or perhaps give your nipper half a crown to get some sweets and see how good his taste in confectionary is.

Fig V. Electrograph recharging Fig VI. Jimmy at the sweet shop wearing his dad's Electrograph

UNIQUE AUDIO EXPERIENCES

The Electrograph is programmed to make unique audio experiences for the user. By correlating the users heartbeat to a range of frequencies, the Electrograph creates a series of sounds relative to the data it has received. This means that the user will never hear the same sequence of sound twice. By mixing musical and physical sounds, the Electrograph has the ability to produce intriguing and mesmerising pieces of audio that will calm the user and bring their heart rate down to a standard level.

Fig VII. Drawing of musical notes emanating from Electrograph

VISUAL FEEDBACK

Whilst the audio playback takes place, the lights on the Electrograph’s face also respond to the trigger. As the audio plays, a slow pulsing of the lights acts as a visual guide for breathing. To follow this correctly, inhale as the lights get brighter and exhale as they dim. By following this you tell your brain that you are calm and therefore you mentally cause yourself to lower your heart rate. By focusing on the lights you are diverting your attention from the cause of the fluctuation of the heart rate. The audio playback rhythm will match the rhythm of the pulsating lights to avoid confusion. If you are experiencing irregular rhythms that resemble the sounds of a Jazz fusion bar in Soho, ensure you remove the Electrograph immediately and recalibrate it to avoid further distress.

Fig VIII. Jazz bar with people looking confused. Fig IX. Removing Electrograph and reattaching it.

CONCLUSION

If you are still confused by the premise of our product, why not give it a dummy run. If you still feel unsure and have any burning questions, you can contact us by post at the following address:

MITE Industries 1966 Goodyear Terrace Itchycoo Park Pepperland LMW2 8IF

Remember all our products come with a 3 month warranty so that you can return them if you are not fully satisfied, but we’re sure you will be.

Fig X. Happy customers.

[austenmarriage]

New Post has been published on Austen Marriage

New Post has been published on http://austenmarriage.com/third-times-the-charm-more-fun-facts-about-austen/

Third Time's the Charm: More Fun Facts about Austen

Though this may not be as exciting as Sheldon’s “Fun With Flags” segments on The Big Bang Theory TV show, today’s episode features the “Third Time’s the Charm Quiz” with questions about Jane Austen’s life and times. (It’ll also be the last quiz, so all those who stress over test-taking can look forward to a quiet future.)

For those who want to revisit the previous torture, here is Quiz #1 and here is Quiz #2. (Hint: Each will help with one question today.)

Like John and Fanny Dashwood in Sense and Sensibility winnowing their contribution little by little to their stepfamily, the number of questions has been reduced in each quiz, but by and large the questions have gotten harder. Today’s quiz may tax your Regency knowledge. It pertains to people and events current during Jane Austen’s time, but not all of them popped up directly in her novels. Let’s call these the graduate-level questions. However, two questions relate to the earlier quizzes, and one is included for extra credit. As before, there’s no rhyme or reason to topics or order. The answers appear below each question to avoid vertigo from excessive scrolling.

Rating scale:

0-5: You’re the bumbling Mr. Collins of Austenia.

6-9: You’re Edward Ferrars/Edmund Bertram: solid but dull.

10-12: You’re Henry Tilney, learned on topics from muslin to crown lands to Udolpho.

13-15: You’re Liz Bennet, fiercely demolishing all comers.

The quiz:

Why were both the French and English slow to let women fly in hot-air balloons?

Both the French and the English hesitated to let women ascend in a balloon for fear of the effects of altitude on their “delicate” bodies.

Beyond the possible biological effect of altitude on women, what was the major fear about women “going into space”?

Just as it was considered improper for an unengaged man and woman to have private carriage rides, society was concerned about the morality of an unchaperoned couple in a hot-air balloon. One can only wonder what Elinor’s reaction would have been in Sense and Sensibility if Marianne and Willoughby had soared alone into the wild blue yonder. (She would not have looked on benignly as she does when Willoughby brings Marianne flowers, in the above photo from the 1995 movie!)

Even before they read the newspapers that came from London, how would ordinary citizens know of a British victory in the wars with France?

To celebrate British victories, the coaches were decorated. At night, candles and lamps were lit, and formal illuminations were held in large towns.

Lord Nelson won the major sea battle at Trafalgar, off the Spanish coast, that ended the threat of a French invasion. How was hero-worship for him expressed?

Egyptian-style ladies’ hats celebrated his earlier victory on the Nile; special needlework stitching was created; and housing developments were named for him. Jane Austen satirizes the commercialization of military victories in her last, unfinished novel, Sanditon. A real-estate developer laments his having named a building Trafalgar House because “Waterloo is more the thing now.” However, he’s keeping Waterloo in reserve for the name of a housing crescent (a semicircle such as in Bath).

What was the major cause of death in the French army during Napoleon’s catastrophic winter retreat from Moscow in 1812?

The French suffered hideous losses from typhus as well as from defeat in battle.

What likely most antagonized the British public over the behavior of His Royal Highness as both Prince Regent and later as King George IV?

Though his philandering and his personal attacks on his wife, Caroline, riled many citizens, his worst fault was extravagant spending at a time when England was heavily in debt from the war. Repayment of his personal debts earned its own line item in England’s budget. When the Prince Regent, now George IV, died, the Times of London remarked that “there never was an individual less regretted by his fellow-creatures.”

What were the political ramifications and the unintended consequences of the tax on hair powder during the Napoleonic wars?

A tax on hair powder in the early 1800s made it possible to tell political affiliation at a glance. Tories wore wigs, paying the hair-powder tax. Whigs, who opposed the war, stopped wearing wigs to avoid the tax. By the time the government reduced the tax, a more natural hairstyle had become fashionable. This marked the start of the Romantic era, when hair could be as wild as the heath.

Though Janeites recall the intelligence, wit, and character of her father and brothers, what medical problems did the males in Jane Austen’s family suffer?

Austen had an uncle and a brother who suffered the same serious mental and physical handicaps, apparently genetic. Both were reportedly “deaf and dumb.” Both lived away from the family. The son of her cousin Eliza died of epilepsy. More distant male family members also suffered serious neurological problems.

Before England ended the slave trade in 1807, how much did slaves cost in the West Indies and other British possessions?

The average selling price for a healthy adult male was about £50; women and children were less. It was usually cheaper to work a slave to death and buy a new one than it was to feed and care properly for a slave.

Several Austen family members, including Jane, were abolitionists, or at least no fans of slavery. Did Britain’s 1807 abolition act end slavery?

No. In the U.S., “abolition” usually meant the end to slavery, which did not begin to occur until 1863. In England, “abolition” meant only the end of the slave trade—the capture and sale of slaves in Africa. The hope was that the end to the slave trade would lead to better treatment of existing slaves. Both sides of the argument thought that the end of the slave trade would eventually end slavery itself. After the legal end to the slave trade in 1807, the British government did little to enforce the ban until 1811, when violation of the act was made a felony.

Two generations of Austen naval officers—her brothers Frank and Charles and their self-named sons—intercepted slave ships.

England did not abolish slavery until six months after the death of the great abolitionist William Wilberforce in July 1833. The end to slavery was phased in over several years, beginning in 1834. Slave owners received twenty million pounds in recompense.

Does Jane Austen ever touch upon the slave trade in her novels?

Yes, a surprising number of times. In Mansfield Park, the Bertram family’s wealth comes from a sugar plantation in Antigua. The heroine, Fanny Price, brings conversation to a halt when she asks about the slave trade. In Emma, both Jane Fairfax and Mrs. Elton make a passing reference to it. Mrs. Elton’s remark is hypocritical. She claims that her family, which has likely been involved in the slave trade, is “rather a friend to the abolition.” In Persuasion, Mrs. Smith’s estate is tied up in the West Indies, meaning a slave-based business. In her barely begun novel Sanditon, Austen introduces a wealthy “half mulatto” teenage girl. The wealth would have come from her white parentage, almost certainly a slave business. It’s unclear whether Miss Lambe would have become a major character.

What were the most dramatic changes to transportation during Jane Austen’s lifetime?

Steamboats and railroads entered service in England in 1812, though railroads did not become commercially feasible until 1825.

What was an obvious marker of the huge disparity of wealth in England during Jane Austen’s lifetime?

The cost of housing. The finest houses in London rented for £750 a year—more than what Jane Austen earned in her lifetime from writing.

Why did Jane Austen’s cousin, Eliza de Feuillide, give up her carriage in 1797?

The major reason was a new tax on carriages to support the war against France. These taxes would have affected all the wealthy in Austen’s novels, not only for carriages but for sporting horses. In December 1797, Eliza, who was soon to marry Jane’s brother Henry, complained: “These new Taxes will drive me out of London, and make me give up my Carriage.”

What Austen relative narrowly escaped hanging or banishment to Australia?

Jane Austen’s Aunt Leigh-Perrot was acquitted of stealing a card of lace from a shop in Bath. Though the theft may have been a setup by the store proprietors, Aunt Leigh-Perrot had a reputation for kleptomania. Her own lawyer questioned her veracity. Another case against her, for stealing a potted plant, was dismissed when a witness conveniently left town.

For extra credit:

Where did “bobbies,” the nickname for London police, originate?

English policemen are known as “bobbies” after Robert Peel, who created the first English police force, in London, in 1829. Early on, they were also called “peelers.” Peel served in Parliament almost nonstop from 1809 until his death in 1850. A protégé of Lord Wellington and a moderate Tory, he nonetheless supported many liberal reforms that kept the country from coming apart. These included Catholic emancipation in 1829, the voting reforms of 1832, the end to slavery in 1833, and child-labor reform in 1833. Because of the Great Famine in Ireland in 1845, he broke with the Tory Party to help end the Corn Laws, which had kept grain prices artificially high for more than thirty years.

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The Marriage of Miss Jane Austen, which traces love from a charming courtship through the richness and complexity of marriage and concludes with a test of the heroine’s courage and moral convictions, is available from Amazon and Jane Austen Books.

[lizbethart-blog]

       Maybe, quite possibly I was just hoping Mary Poppins would save me too…

The Pentangle Arts (https://pentanglearts.org) presentation of Mary Poppins Returnshas been playing at the Woodstock Town Hall Theatre. I really wanted to see this movie. Yet, I am not easily convinced to leave my cozy warm little house on the hill to venture out into the cold dark evening especially on a Monday, but my husband convinced me to do so. I suspect he knew and remembered that the original Mary Poppins was one of my very favorite movies.  Quite possibly my absolute favorite as it was the first move, I saw in a movie theater as a young girl.  The magic of Disney immediately made an impression, but the true magic was sharing this experience with my mother. While Mary Poppins was  “practically perfect in every way” so was the woman seated right beside me. I truly thought and had imagined that years ago I had compartmentalized those warm and wide-eyed emotions and kept them in my childhood treasured memory box, but I was wrong.

Comfortably sitting in the Woodstock theater, the audience was mostly comprised of contemporaries as it was a school night. I wondered how many of us in the audience saw the original Mary Poppins in the theater as a first movie? I did love that we did not feel the need bring a young child to justify our attendance but instead were looking to revisit the child within. The movie starts such as a Disney movie does extraordinary with color, a beautiful setting and music. The story begins with the viewer meeting a grown-up Jane and Michael Banks learning that Michael has very sadly lost his wife just a year ago and is raising their young three children on his own. Sister, Jane Banks is very much involved in their lives but was unaware that Michael was financially struggling, had secured a loan against the family home and has not met his financial payments leading to a bank seizure of their beloved home. Enter Mary Poppins. Actress Emily Blunt, in similar fashion to the fabulous Julie Andrews, mystically appears from above floating through the mist and clouds in shades of gray as she makes her way to the Banks home once again. Quite unexpectedly and I suspect from a place deep in my heart as I watched Mary Poppin’s descend to the earth my eyes filled up and tears rolled down cheeks. Was I mentally returning to that tiny theater years ago with velvet seats sitting next to my mother? I clearly understand the loss of a beloved mother so was that enough for the tears to fall? Was I relieved Mary Poppins was on her way to help the young Banks children or was I personally hoping Mary would save me too?

Packing up our family home, a few years back was many things but mostly it was a tremendous tug on my heartstrings. Saying goodbye to a house and more importantly a home loved by both our immediate and extended family was extremely difficult.  Our home hosted many children, teenagers, family, running club friends, Kenyan runners, and most importantly the site where our daughter married the love of her life on a gorgeous September day on our ten-acre spread. Best friends across the street…perfect! Selling the house after our children had grown, I found myself deeply mourning the life we had on Adams Street. It is never really about the physical structure but the people that pass through the front door and our lives. The house for many years was filled with the sounds of joy, laughter and on occasion even sadness as every house does. The energy and level of activity that children provide in a home is intoxicating.  However, when it gets quiet and it does get quiet as the nest empties and bedrooms become museums it is time to seek a new adventure. The physical process of moving is daunting and not for the faint of heart. While going through boxes in our basement with our adult daughter and son we reminisced, laughed, teased and my husband and I listened with delight to the playful banter between a brother and sister. Even though we were under the pressure of time we often stopped to admire a school paper, a much-loved stuffed animal and the endless NSync posters. How does one sum up a lifetime?

I came across just a few boxes I had moved from my parent’s home years before that I had quite honestly forgotten about or more accurately, I had blocked from my memory.  Now was the moment I had to open the boxes and address the contents. How is it material things can affect us so immediately and profoundly? Cherished and known items prompt us to return to a time gone by in a New York minute. Familiar handwriting, trinkets of great importance to my parents and apparently to me as I dutifully brought them all with me. Another time and down the road when the possessions become the property of another generation those very same precious items will be viewed in a very different light as their meaning and history fades with each generation. I thought I had already sorted through the contents of these precious boxes long ago. In fact, they are the last physical reminders of my parent’s personal affects including handwritten notes, policies etc.…I thought for sure I had already touched each item, every piece of paper before packing them and relocating to our home but I was wrong…I must have blocked it yet again. In our effort to minimize what we store in our now small home my husband brought to me a cardboard moving box from our basement to sort through. With each move space and time seem to become more and more precious. I opened the tidy box and thought I knew its contents because it was packed within the past two and a half years, but I didn’t actually really know but now I would learn its contents.

“AFTER ALL, YOU CAN’T LOSE WHAT YOU NEVER LOST.” – MARY POPPINS

I came across a thin royal blue folder and its content immediately struck me. Instantly I recognized my mother’s impeccable longhand as it jumped off the pages of simple white notebook paper. The paper and the writing were as crisp and white as if she had written the words that very day. My mother had the most exceptional penmanship as does my sister…I did not inherit this skill and I am quite grateful for keyboards. My mother was so many wonderful things which is commonly how most of us feel about our mothers. She was creative, an excellent writer and artistic as well but unfortunately lacked time and opportunity to fully realize her many talents. She was an incredible caregiver for so many people and I always admired her way of mothering me and my siblings because her mother died in childbirth and she was an only child….so how did she learn?

The initial piece of notebook paper talked about her lifetime role as a caregiver and that empty feeling when one’s role changes due to the natural process of children growing and their independence being realized. She loved who we were becoming but missed being an integral part of our daily lives and those immediate shared confidences. What resonated to me as I read her words was, I completely understood her thoughts and feelings.  I was reading her words at nearly the same age she wrote them.  Understanding that I am now in the same cycle of life that she was as she penned the words. Maybe it was by design that I found the papers when I did so as to understand her a little more and understand myself a bit more currently.

The next piece of paper was a story about a beloved friend and neighbor of my mother’s. Flo was her name and she had lived a very challenging family life. My mom had many dear friends so her focus on Flo was curious to me. I think the first sentence of the narrative really told the story as to why my mother’s chose Flo to write about “my dear friend with the smiling face – dear Flo” My mom understood the life and pain behind Flo’s smile and I suspect she admired her strength. Maybe on some days she identified with that survival skill as well.

The final few papers were small in number, but their impact was poignant and profound. These pages were different from the others, my mother’s beautiful handwriting was now shaky and indicative of her weakened state. My mother made the decision to document her thoughts and feelings after being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. If ever a person had a desire to live and had more living to do it was, she. Somehow, she knew when unrelenting back pain would not resolve, and she was not getting definitive answers until she did…she said to me “this better not be my dam pancreas!” She was smart and intuitive always, but I so wished she was wrong this time and just this time. Standing by her in her hospital bed, in the emergency room as she was receiving an IV for dehydration, the news of her CT scan was delivered. Shock, great sadness and horror permeated our thoughts in the small curtained room as my mother’s mortality became a devastating reality. Transferred to Boston Medical for futile treatments she employed her quiet moments without us surrounding her bedside and began to write about her feelings from diagnosis on.  She even sketched a city view from her hospital bed perspective. As an artist this visual hit me hard.  The words she wrote were so real and haunting as she spoke of her loneliness and not wanting to put her family through the upcoming and unrecoverable brief period of time. The loneliness she spoke of was reflecting on the common human experience we all share. Each ending is ours alone to face even though we are surrounded by those that love us the journey is singular. Her final sentence was “I prayed to go”.

Thank you, Mary Poppins, for reminding me that:

“NOTHING IS GONE FOREVER, ONLY OUT OF PLACE.” – MARY POPPINS