#and its not her fault obviously. whatever is happening in her brain is what's happening.

[dontwanderoff]

so like, i think my nana has definitely forgotten me now. like, mum said she couldn't remember us grandkids on a phonecall once, but also she's said that nana had later asked about us and her memory has been really inconsistent the whole year, but even knowing all that it was just weird sitting next to her at lunch today when she was so distant and just, different with me

[starsxblazing]

Im sitting in the dentist office and my brain just thought of an azriel x reader fic / alternate universe where he and Elain have a baby or child and reader is the nanny. Its azriels pov mostly as he falls for reader while elain is still debating about lucien. And reader well shes totally oblivious of azriels attraction towards her.

Oblivious Attraction

You sat in front of your vanity while debating on how exactly you should present yourself. It felt as if the bar was set far too high for you to reach but you never turned down a challenge. There were so many different options but decided on a business casual outfit. You decided on a cobalt blue collared shirt paired black slacks and slip ons. As you began your work to form the loose curls, you ran through every possible word or conversation.

Your resume with great references made you a top choice for employment. Children were your passion and being a nanny was a perfect job for you. The hours were long but it never mattered to you even though it left hardly no time for a social life. That wasn’t a big issue either in your opinion because you felt fulfilled in life. 

The drive through the nice neighborhood had you enamored with the beautiful homes with matching or complimentary to the others. It was nicer than you had originally thought and it made it a bit intimidating.

You took a deep breath as you parked your car, muttering prayers to whatever force was above to be on your side.

Azriel watched as Elain flitted around the kitchen to get the remnants of breakfast cleaned up before leaving. An interview with yet another possible nanny would be happening within the next ten minutes and he was ready to get it over with. All three candidates had great resumes as they required but the first two hadn’t felt right in their opinion

It was important to the both of them to have the perfect person to care for their daughter while they worked so having someone that they felt that they could trust was imperative. His work hours were long and whereas the mother of his child’s was shorter, she usually spent her time elsewhere when she got off. It grated a nerve that the female was absent from the home so often but he had stopped complaining. 

What was supposed to be a one night stand had turned into weekly occurrences that ended up with her pregnant. For that simple fact alone, he had moved her into his home in hopes that something more would form other than physical attraction. It hadn’t gone as he had hoped but they comfortably coexisted for the sake of their two year old.

He knew that her attention was torn between him and another male, a fact that he had only learned by accidental chance. Even though it hurt a piece of his heart, he always felt as if he couldn’t fault her for it. She deserved more, especially when he wasn’t able to give her the time and effort that she obviously needed.

A knock on the door had him pushing the thought of Elain and Lucien out of his mind, feeling hopeful that their last contestant would be the one. They truly did need the help and time was of the essence. He was shocked when he opened the door, the beauty of you taking his breath away. Their last two prospects had been older but he wasn’t expecting a beautiful female around his age to be standing on his threshold.

“Oh, you’re early!” Elain exclaimed happily with Sophie following close behind. “Hello!”

Azriel glanced at the clock and you were five minutes early. Confidence emitted from every fiber of you, especially when Sophie looked up at you with a smile. His own hope began to cement when the girl’s smile was returned with a gentle one that set the room at ease. 

Elain guided you to the couch in the living room where they held their previous interviews. His daughter climbed up beside you, talking the best that she could at her young age. It was something that Sophie hadn’t done with the previous two so Elain and himself waited patiently while watching you engage with her.

“We’re so glad to have you here,” Elain started with a smile. “She seems to like you already.”

“She’s a delight,” you laughed, gazing at the girl momentarily with a tender smile on your face. 

“Your resume is impeccable.” He gauged your reaction but your confident expression as you held his gaze and found nothing negative about you. “It is rare to find someone so young with extensive experience and references.”

“I’ve always loved children.” Your voice didn’t shake and you didn’t cower under both of their watchful gazes. “I started babysitting at sixteen and I found my first job as a nanny at eighteen once I graduated.”

“You have extensive education.” Elain scanned through the classes that you had completed in college. “Early childhood education, special needs education, First Aid and CPR certifications, and multiple language classes. You were also in the top five of all of them.”

“All of said classes coincide with your first nanny job.” 

He had memorized your entire career timeline that also paired with your education. You still didn’t shrink from the question and he noted the hint of pride in your eyes. If what he was assuming was true, you had every right to feel that way about yourself.

“With my first official nanny job, I took classes online and then night classes for the ones that required me to be physically present.”

“Did that affect your job?” Elain countered, a small frown pulling at her lips.

“Not at all.” You shook your head as if in disbelief that you would be questioned about it. “I loved the two children that I was caring for and it was completely my pleasure to have every moment with them.”

Your answer was so genuine that he knew that calling the parents wouldn’t be needed. He also didn’t need to question your love and passion. Not when his daughter placed herself in your lap in contentment. The air around them was so light and it was a feeling that he hadn’t felt in a long time. 

“Do you have any concerns with the cameras within our home?” He watched your reaction carefully to see how you would react. “Some have had concerns about them.”

“Why would I be bothered by that?” you asked, your brows furrowing. “I don’t see why it would ever be a problem for a parent to not be concerned enough about their child’s welfare to check in when a stranger is keeping them.”

To him, that was answer enough for him. Even as Elain continued to ask you questions, he kept his eyes on you with a hint of adoration filling him at the sight of you and his daughter.

Once the interview was over, you spent the rest of the day bonding with Sophie. Elain had left shortly after the interview had wrapped up and you were left alone with Azriel. You knew that he was watching you carefully and you didn’t mind because you would have done the same thing.

“We never did go over all of the requirements for my job,” you started as you sat beside him at the table while Sophie ate her lunch. “I want to be sure that everyone is happy with the work that I do.”

“Well, she will be starting school soon so it would be beneficial to be sure that she is on track with the other children,” he replied thoughtfully. “Along with housework and errands that we are unable to do ourselves when needed.”

“That’s more than reasonable but with the agreed upon salary, I was expecting more,” you mused, more to yourself than him.

“Believe me when I say that with Sophie alone, you will have your hands full,” he chuckled, his hazel eyes shining with amusement.

 “I wholeheartedly look forward to it.”

You grinned at him and he only gave a small smile in return. The day was relatively simple and you were relieved that he didn’t constantly hover. He would come into his daughter’s room every so often to see how the both of you were getting along and seemed content.

By the time that you got home, you were exhausted enough that you didn’t bother with anything other than falling into bed.

Azriel had taken the previous day off of work simply to see how you were with his daughter. He was confident that they made the right decision and his daughter listened to you better than she did her own parents most of the time. You appeared a bit hesitant to leave when it was Sophie’s bedtime but left without a fuss.

Two hours had passed after his daughter had been in bed when Elain finally came home. A hint of cologne was on her but he said nothing as usual. He wished that she would make up her mind if she wanted to truly be with him instead of them being in this inbetween state in their relationship. The fact that the mother of his child was still entertaining her ex had once been somewhat of a sore spot that was now numb.

A month passed without any issues with you and Sophie was so smitten to the point that she hardly asked about why her mother always got home so late. He was always so exhausted when he came home but you never failed to have a hot meal waiting for him. It was something that he had never had and your eyes lit up every time that he thanked you. A spot in him warmed every single time that he saw that beautiful smile on your face just as it did seeing you interact with his daughter.

The slow feeling of longing began to form around that time and he got off of work as early as possible whenever he could just to be around you more. You always greeted him warmly in a way that he hadn’t felt from Elain since the first month of their ‘relationship’, leaving him craving more and more each day.

He stopped caring about what hour that Elain came home, enjoying your company more than he ever had hers. Small touches were exchanged every so often, a small brush of his arm against yours in passing or a gentle brush of his fingers over yours. No matter the subtle signs that he tried to give, you seemed completely oblivious.

“How was your day?” you asked as the three of you ate the food that you had prepared that afternoon.

“A bit stressful as usual,” he admitted, adoring the small frown that formed due to the fact that you cared about his well being. “But overall, it went well.”

“I much prefer dealing with children,” you laughed, glancing at Sophie who was focused on eating. “Corporate jobs just don’t sound appealing.”

“They aren’t,” he agreed before nodding to his daughter “It gives her the life that she deserves.”

You hummed in agreement, the sound running through him and causing a small smile on his face that you missed.

You were content with your job and utterly happy that you could do what you loved. Azriel was great company but a spot in you hurt for him when you noticed that he wasn’t used to having food already made for him. You rarely saw Elain and you wondered if she had taken longer hours with her job. The weekends were the only time that all three of you had any time off so you assumed that the mother made up for it then. 

It didn’t help though that you were bored during those two days. You were so used to getting up early and arriving at their home at six each morning. By the time that you had spent six months with them, you were still with Azriel and was present to put Sophie to bed yourself while her father caught up on extra work. You couldn’t lie that you loved it because the girl was the best child that you had ever had the pleasure of working with.

“Running late this morning?” she asked Azriel when he opened the door on a Friday morning.

“Just a bit,” he admitted, his voice still laced with sleep while Sophie was crying upstairs.

“Go ahead and get ready.”

You didn’t wait for a response before running towards the girl’s room.

Azriel had stayed up longer than he usually did the night before and he barely had time to throw on his business suit, the tie tied haphazardly around his neck. It had taken his mind a moment to realize why there was a knock on his door so early in the morning. Through his sleep filled brain, the sight of you and then your worried expression over his appearance sent his heart racing. Love was beginning to bloom within him for you but he was never sure if he should express it.

He did as you told him to do and by the time that he was fully ready, Elain was gone to her own job and you had Sophie at the table eating breakfast. It always amazed him how easily you were able to calm his daughter even though Elain and himself always had trouble doing so.

“Do you have time for me to finish making you a proper breakfast?” you asked, looking him up and down. 

“No.” He did the same to you, enjoying the sight that was you before him. “I appreciate the offer.”

“Is that everything that I need to accomplish today?”

You pointed to the list that Elain had made the night before. He nodded, feeling somewhat bad that you had more to do than usual today all while doing so with a now three year old in tow. You simply nodded with a smile and he had to force himself to leave his home. 

His stormy Friday workday felt as if it dragged by longer than usual. He usually watched the cameras in the home every so often just so he could see you but you were out running errands.. Not only was the normal hours of his work day long but so was the later hours that he had no choice but to stay late.

By the time that he rushed home, he found you asleep on the couch with Sophie curled up contently on your chest. It was a beautiful sight to behold and he didn’t have the heart to disturb either of you. His daughter loved you just as much as he was beginning to. He took a deep breath when his heart began to race when he gently pushed a piece of hair out of your face.

It was yet another form of the gentle touches that were exchanged between the both of you but a part of his heart hurt whenever you began to address him as a friend. He wanted so much more than that but knew that it would be inappropriate. It didn’t stop his longing but he didn’t have the opportunity to ponder long before the front door opened again.

Elain was home early for a change and the close of the door had you shooting up in a panic. Your eyes were wide as you held a still sleeping Sophie to your chest protectively. He didn’t think you had any means of protecting his daughter and yourself but it was admirable either way.

“I am so, so sor-”

“It’s alright.” He gave you a small smile even though your eyes darted between the both of them. “You have had a long day.”

“I still didn’t-”

“It really is okay,” Elain assured, picking Sophie up gently to take her to bed. “Go home and get some rest.”

You nodded and stood on slightly shaky legs before giving him an apologetic smile. He escorted you to the door as he always did and his heart picked up his pace whenever you held his eye contact. The way that you looked at him had him hopeful but he walked to the window to be sure that you got out of his line of sight safely.

He frowned when your headlights came on but instantly went out again and the sound of your car starting didn’t reach his ears. You sat in your car for five minutes in the hard downpour before you finally raced back to his front door where he was waiting for you.

“Car trouble?

“It won’t start,” you whined quietly. “I don’t know anything about cars.”

“Would you like a ride home?”

Surprise filled your face for a moment before you nodded shyly. He had to use all of his willpower to stop the laugh that wanted to leave him and used the excuse of retrieving his keys to doing so. By the time you were sitting in his passenger seat, you were both completely soaked and a pout was on your face.

“Does a little bit of rain bother you?” he asked in a teasing tone.

“Sugar melts in the rain,” you quipped and this time he wasn’t able to stop his laugh.

During the ride home, you told him about the busy day that you had while he listened intently. Mental images filled his mind with each story, the ones of you taking his daughter for ice cream being his favorite. Both of your arms were touching on the armrest and he wanted nothing more than to wrap his hand around yours. It was a strong testament to his willpower to not do so.

When he pulled up to the home that was smaller than he had imagined, you made no move to instantly jump out. He knew that you enjoyed being around him but he also knew that you were oblivious to how he felt.

“It doesn’t look like it’s going to let up,” you muttered while leaning up to look out of the windshield.

“According to the report, it’s supposed to be that way for the rest of the night.”

“Well at least I can immediately jump into the shower.”

He chuckled but when you looked at him, he realized that he had moved closer to you out of what felt like instinct. You didn’t break his gaze, even when his eyes darted to your mouth and then back to your eyes. His breath caught in his throat when there were mere inches between your mouths. Once you realized what was happening, you pulled back and jumped out of his vehicle without so much as a goodbye.

It was then that he realized that he was completely and utterly fucked.

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[harmonictechnicality]

It’s all Robin’s fault, this stupid little habit Steve picked up from her. That’s something that happens occasionally, they start to blend into the same personality in areas of their life, venn diagram style.

But he starts reading his horoscope in the newspaper. At first it’s just weekly, on tuesdays mostly. When Family Video is at its slowest and Steve needs to put his mind somewhere.

Eventually, he graduates to reading it daily. He loves all the little phrases that sound like they came out of a fortune cookie. Doesn’t even need to eat the shitty cookie to find out his luck or fortune for the rest of the day. It’s awesome.

Eddie Munson seems to come in every day that Steve gets positive readings in friendship and love. It’s a coincidence probably, but Steve always makes sure to spark up conversation. Asks about Eddie’s band. Tells him his new vest patches look cool. Little shit like that.

Convinces himself it’s the friendship good luck energy, excludes the love part from his brain always.

Eddie catches Steve one day, finds a folded up newspaper section hanging out of Steve’s back pocket (it was his favorite fortune cookie-ish quote, Steve carry’s it with him now). Obviously, Eddie is insufferable about it.

“So you’re a Leo, huh?” Eddie teases, examining the horoscope even further.

“Shut up, that’s…” Steve doesn’t know why he’s arguing with a professional smart ass like Eddie Munson. “Whatever. Yeah, I’m a Leo.”

Eddie snorts, tosses the paper over his shoulder. “That checks out.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Totally.” Eddie says. “The way you are with the little gremlins? Overally protective and shit?”

“So?”

“That’s Leo as all fuck.”

Steve scoffs, grabs his horoscope from wherever Eddie aimlessly threw it. “And how the hell would you know what classifies as Leo as all fuck?”

Eddie smiles. Shrugs. “Cause I’m a Leo too.”

“You’re…” Steve doesn’t get why that shocks him so much. Him and Eddie being similar in some way? Seems absurd. “We’re nothing alike though.”

Eddie’s face droops low when Steve points this out. It’s true, they’re not. Maybe some qualities overlap though, like Steve and Robin and their venn diagram personality traits. Maybe…

“Guess being alike isn’t important all the time though.” Steve adds. Wants Eddie to be animated again. “Right?”

“Right.” Eddie perks up a little before leaving. “Later, fellow Leo.”

“Yeah, later.”

It sort of becomes their thing after that though. Eddie will drop by some days, asks Steve what their shared-horoscope is looking like, Steve will give him a quick synopsis. They’ll laugh over how silly it all seems… but still, he always comes back. Always wants to know more. Steve always wants to tell him more too.

About a month into this little routine, they start comparing the details further. Eddie will be like ‘that’s definitely more Harrington-Leo’ if it has to do with money or fortune. Steve will say ‘that’s definitely more Munson-Leo’ if it has to do with creativity and self-reliance.

Sometimes, there will be a reading that applies to both of them and they start celebrating as if their hometown team won the goddamn Super Bowl. Eddie ruffles Steve’s hair, high fives him way too hard.

Steve loves those days. Waits impatiently for those days.

But today… today is a shit reading. Bad luck all the way around. Bad luck in career and wealth. Bad luck in creativity and friendship. Bad luck in love.

Steve sort of hopes Eddie doesn’t drop by the store today, doesn’t wanna break the news that their day is gonna be collectively shitty.

It’s a bad luck day though… so of course Eddie stops by. That’s just the way it goes, right?

Steve is all mopey, doesn’t even try to hide it.

“Bad day for us?” Eddie asks, searching the counter for the newspaper.

“The worst, actually.” Steve’s face is in his hands now. Surrenders his good mood over to a few brief paragraphs on a piece of paper.

Eddie explores for a while, but Steve already threw the horoscope in the trash where it belongs. Doesn’t give two shits if that’s bad luck too, his day can’t possibly get more lousy.

“Synopsis then?” Eddie nudges him, mirroring his face in his hands. Just how Steve is doing it, trying to get him to crack a smile.

He does. “Yeah, okay.”

So Steve fills Eddie in on all the details, how terrible their health is gonna be. How miserable their creative success is gonna be. How disastrous their love life is gonna be. Steve really plays up that last one for dramatic affect.

Eddie is sitting on the counter now, shoveling gummy worms into his mouth as Steve recounts the Leo Horror Story.

“Disastrous love life, huh?” Eddie asks, gummy worm dangling from the corner of his mouth. “Was that really what it said or are you exaggerating?”

“I swear!” Steve holds up both hands defensively. “Said something like, ‘do not expect love to come knocking on your door’ or whatever - I don’t know.”

Eddie polishes off the rest of the candy and hops off the counter. “Yeah. Too bad for us, I guess.”

Steve gets off work pretty late that night (fuck bad luck days). It’s around eleven by the time he gets to eat some dinner, settles on instant macaroni. Washes it down with a bowl Froot Loops.

There’s a knock on the door as he slurps up the rest of the milk. It’s way too late for someone to just show up. Steve chooses to ignore it.

The knocking persists. Turns into banging now.

Fuck this. Steve groans all the way to the door. He checks the little spyhole, and sees that it’s Eddie. Eddie knows where he lives?

He’s not really in the mood to be social this late on a weeknight but whatever. Steve swings the door open, ready to give some half-assed excuse that he can’t hang out right now.

“Listen Munson, I-”

But Eddie’s mouth lands on his, punctuating Steve’s unfinished sentence with a kiss. It’s unexpected. The knocking. The kiss.

Holy shit, the horoscope was fucking right. Steve wasn’t expecting love to knock on his door. He wasn’t expecting it at all, but here it is. In the form of Eddie Munson kissing him hard, kissing him fully. Like he’s just been waiting this whole time for the horoscope to grant him permission to take such a risk.

Steve accepts it. Accepts the horoscope. Accepts the kiss. Accepts Eddie. Eddie who isn’t similar to him at all, except in all the areas where it truly matters.

They break away, both smiling, both short of breath. Both Leos.

“Well, Steve?” Eddie rarely calls him that. It’s sorts of amazing, especially on such a bleak day. “Still think your love life is disastrous?”

“Definitely not.” Steve thinks about their venn diagram of overlapping qualities and characteristics. Takes Eddie’s hand and makes a mental note to himself to add ‘both great kissers’ to their shared-space in the middle.

“Looks like we’re pretty damn lucky after all, Munson.”

[adaelines]

Jealousy, A Bitter Drink.

once again its 4am and im posting smut! yay!

vash the stampede x reader

warnings for vash alien genitalia, reader being jealous, sub whiny vash my favourite! in the back alley behind a inn so Techically public but you dont get caught or anything! you shove your fingers in his mouth to keep him quiet.

You were nearly at your wits end. 

Vash hadn’t done anything wrong, per say, but when the entire gang decides to go out drinking after finally arriving at an inn and he’s spending all his attention on someone else, you can’t help but feel unease. You trust him with your entire heart, with everything you are, you know he would never do anything, but you can’t help the jealousy that simmers in your chest everytime you look over and see him laughing at what the girl obviously flirting with him says. 

It’s almost too much, and if the glare you’re fixing them both with doesn’t alert them, you don’t know what else will. You could always approach, kindly let her know Vash is taken, and talk with him yourself but.. You don’t want Vash to think you don’t trust him, that you think he can’t handle himself. So you sit and stew in your bitter feelings, hand around your drink tightening, and you swear on any gods out there if she gets even the tiniest bit closer, you’re gonna go over there and throw the glass at her. You’re sitting with Meryl, Wolfwood, and Milly, but you haven’t paid attention to them at all since Vash went to get you both drinks and didn’t return. Awfully rude of hi, you thought with a pout, keeping you waiting for a girl? Maybe there would be a better way to deal with this, a better way to get back his attention, one that doesn’t involve violence that he so deeply hates. 

So with a smile and a quiet laugh, you tell the three people you’re sitting with you’ll go and collect your rowdy lover and your drinks, and hope that they don’t see the devious plan brewing behind your eyes. You give them a smile and a wave, and they’re quick to go back to arguing about whatever they were before you interrupted. Picking up your glass, you walk over to Vash and the girl with a smile. One you know Vash will be able to tell is fake, but not the girl you’re about to steal him from. Well, it’s not your fault, she stole his attention first and Vash needs reminding just who he belongs to. 

The walk over to him was brisk, and when you gently place a hand on his arm and tell him you need to speak to him privately, outside, he immediately knew he was in trouble. Vash gave the girl a sheepish smile and then followed his lover, laughing with nerves, but directly on your heels. You led him outside, around the back of the inn where you were staying, and gave him an innocent smile. You wouldn’t be disturbed here at least, as long as Vash could be quiet, and he wasn’t known for being quiet. 

‘’You took an awfully long time with our drinks, Vash, distracted?’’ The innocent smile remained on your face as you spoke to him, stepping closer and crowding him against the wall behind. 

‘’A-ah,’’ Vash stuttered, his face quickly flushing. He knew you well enough to tell when an innocent smile was not so, and whilst he realised what had happened, he still flashed you a bashful smile., ‘’I’m so sorry! I know i was getting you a drink but… but someone started talking to me, i didn’t want to just ignore them!’’ 

You knew what he was like, knew that sometimes he was too nice for his own good, and the actual worry nipping at your brain quickly left. You’d still have your fun with him, still mess around with him, but you knew sometimes he was just too good, and you never could actually blame him for that. It was just one of the many reasons you loved him, and you could never ever be mad at him for something that was just so incredible about him. With a devious smile, you pressed your hand against his chest, gently moving it up until you took a hold of his jaw. You made sure to linger around the places you knew he was sensitive, the places you knew would cause a hitch in his breath and the flush on his cheeks to spread. Trailing kisses from his lips to his ear, you took the lobe between your teeth, before quietly whispering directly in his ear.

‘’You’ll have to be quiet, sweetheart. Don’t want to get us kicked out when we finally found a nice inn for us… you remember your safe-word, yeah?’’ 

At Vash’s high pitch whimper, you couldn’t help but pull away and coo at him. His cheeks were flushed a dark red, his eyes wide and mouth wobbly. You really couldn’t help but tease him, he was just too cute sometimes.

‘’Aw, baby, that’s all I need to mention to get you worked up? Aren’t you a needy thing? Let me take care of you Vash, I still have to remind you who you belong to..’’

With a wicked smile and one last kiss pressed to his lips, you trailed kisses down his neck. Listening to his whines, his quiet moans and just the simplest of kisses, you really couldn’t wait to listen to him trying to keep himself together. You continued, moving down his chest, until you had to sink onto your knees to keep going. Vash whimpered again at the sight, leaning his head back and closing his eyes tightly. Simply looking at you was enough for him to feel the slick between his legs, feel his cock twitch from where it sat between his lips inside of him, and he gently moved one shaky hand to brush the hair away from your face. You always got to him so quickly, with a few simple words and touches he would be completely under your spell, completely willing and wanting. He’d do anything for you if you simply asked, and it showed in just how he was looking at you when he opened his eyes, full of nerves, anxiety, but above that full of absolute adoration and lust. 

Slowly, gently, you began at the buttons on his pants. You wanted to take your time with him, as much as you could behind a dingy old inn, with kisses pressed against the wiry blonde hair that lead from below his belly button to the top of his pants. The way you looked up at him between your eyelashes was almost too much for him, his legs already beginning to shake where he was standing. His quiet whimpers of ‘’please, please, can’t wait anymore…’’ caused you to smile against his happy trail, letting out a quiet laugh. You gently hooked your fingers into the band of his pants and underwear, tugging them down just enough to have access to his slick petal-like folds. You knew it usually took some encouragement for his cock to come out, encouragement you were more than happy to provide. 

‘’Please, please, fuck, i need you so bad…’’’ Vash whined quietly, his head banging against the wall when he threw it back and bared his neck to you. You used your hands to shove his knees apart, causing him to squeak, giving you more room to move between his legs. He looked utterly debauched at the moment. Shirt riding up his stomach, the kiss and bite marks you had previously left on show, his stomach and chest littered in purple bruises and teeth indentations. His face was so flushed you would be worried he had a fever if you weren’t on your knees in front of him, and his expression was so desperate, so lewd and full of wanton need, you wanted to make him beg for hours until he lost his voice and had to explain just why even talking made his throat hurt. 

‘’It’s okay, sweetheart, i’ll take care of you..’’ You leant forward slowly, teasingly, pressing a kiss against his folds. One of your hands came up to gently rub the spot where his lips met, eyes staring up at him the entire time. You wanted to see every reaction, every little whimper and shudder, anything. Using your fingers to spread his folds, you pressed licks against his hole, as deep as you could reach with your other hand gripping onto his thigh so tight you were sure he’d have bruises, sure he’d be feeling you for days. He gave you a quick warning, a rushed ‘’ohmygodimsosorryitscomingout’’, before you pulled back and gently pressed a kiss to where his hip bone jutted out. His cock, lighter than his skin and as pretty as you would expect from a Plant, appeared from between his folds, and you immediately grinned up at him. He had no reason to be embarrassed, he was truly gorgeous, and deliciously sensitive.You couldn’t wait to get your hands, your lips, your anything on him. Even the cold air against him made him shudder, a shaky hand coming from against the wall to tangle itself in your hair. 

Wrapping your hand around his shaft, even that slight pressure was enough to make a very loud whine come from him, you leant forward and pressed a kiss to the tip of his cock. You gave him a grin when he struggled to keep himself together, told him to lean forward, and when he did, you shoved your fingers in his mouth. You had to keep him quiet somehow, had to make sure he didn’t make too much of a mess and you always did love having him suck on your fingers. The grin on your face never faded, not as Vash somehow became even more flustered, or as he let out the loudest moan yet. You knew from experience that his teeth were much sharper than those of a human, sharp enough to easily cut skin, but you didn’t care if you ended up with rings of teeth shaped cuts around the bottom of your fingers. Anything was worth it to see the look on his face as he swirled his tongue around your fingers, eyes lidded and full of desperation. He always shut up quickly with your fingers in his mouth, always immediately became the obedient boy he truly was.

‘’What a good boy,’’ you hummed, ‘’My good boy, keep quiet, yeah? I’m not stopping till you’re begging me to.’’

And when he desperately nodded around your fingers, you leaned forward, taking his tip into your mouth. You had to stop a grin at the noise he let out, muffled by your fingers, and you looked up at him through your eyelashes. Vash was always so pretty like this. Always so gorgeous when he’d take anything you gave him, willing to submit to anything you wanted to do. As you slowly lowered your mouth, taking him as deep as you could, his legs almost gave out from under him. If it wasn’t for your other hand wrapped around his thigh, keeping him stable and as close as physically possible, you wouldn’t be surprised if he ended up on the floor. You grinned around his cock, best as you possibly could, and as your nose was buried in the wiry blond hair at the base, you shoved your fingers as deep as you possibly could in your position. The noise he let out was gorgeous, a loud moan broken by a choke, and when you hummed around his length the whine he let out sounded more like a sob. 

‘’Mmnmclose… fuckfuckfuck…’’ Even around your fingers you could make out what he was trying to say, merely doubling your effort to make him cum. He always was so pretty when he got close, even more desperate and whiny. Even if it was hard on your throat to take him to the base, straining and almost making you choke, it was worth it for the look on his face. Was worth it for the way he whined your name around your fingers, the way he clenched his eye shut and nearly doubled over you. You let out as close to a laugh as you could with his cock down your throat, swallowing around him. Anything for the extra pressure, anything that would increase his whines and tip him just over the edge. Even as you gagged on him, eyes watering and hand around his thigh tightening, you pushed even more. His moans made it worth it, made it easy, and you only pulled away when the hand in your hair gripped tightly, his teeth bearing down on your fingers.

Even as the pain makes you wince, even as you feel your skin break and blood enter Vash’s mouth, even as he cums in yours, you don’t pull back. Not until he whines loudly around your fingers that he's cumming, he's cumming, please don’t stop! Not until you feel his cum down your throat, only ever pulling away when you feel as if you can’t breathe, you swallow as much as you can and grin up at him, making a show of it. Anything not in your mouth is on your face, and Vash slumps quickly. You pull your hand out of his mouth to support him as he slides down the wall to sit half in your lap, half on the floor, and you’re quick to wrap your arms around him. To tell him just how good he was for you, how he made you so proud. He spits the blood out of his mouth, giving you a wonky grin, and you laugh loudly at how funny he looks with the remaining blood and flush on his cheeks. You wipe the cum on your face with your shirt, deciding to worry about the stain later, and you press your lips to his.

‘’You okay?’’ Your voice is quiet, raspy from the strain on your throat, and you pull Vash as close to you as you possibly can. Maybe an alley behind the inn isn’t the best place to cuddle, but you can’t bring yourself to care when Vash is in your arms, when you're offering him comforting words and gentle kisses. In response to you, he nuzzles into your chest, a bright dopey grin on his face. 

‘’As good as one can be after uh, finishing, in your mouth!’’ Even in the afterglow he never fails to make you laugh, make you so happy you don’t even focus on the pain in your throat, and you give him the deepest, most passionate kiss you can muster. He deserves it after what you put him through, and he reciprocates quick, wrapping his arms around you as tight as he can and smiling into the kiss.  As you hear Meryl shouting for you both loudly, followed by a comment from Wolfwood that makes her even louder, you smile back into the kiss. You know Vash will get you back, and you can’t wait for him to even try.

[megamind2010]

11 and 17… I have only passively observed caseybug but what I have seen fascinates me I need to know more

they fascinate me as well im glad other people have this experience too

11. How are they seen by people around them - family, close friends, colleagues, or strangers?

in the words of some of the people around her

dad: she's so smart and talented and strong but relies on herself too much. theres a tangible distance between us... but maybe thats how she wants it

alex: way too well-adjusted for all the shit we went through (and that i put him through). big fucking nerd but the hardest worker i know. above all... reliable

seb: literally the smartest person in the world so cool so awesome i miss when she used to pick me up and help me pretend to be superman even though i know she thinks superheroes are stupid

ted: insanely smart, talented, cool under pressure, determined to a fault. if they have one flaw it would have to be their severely underdeveloped funnybone!

michelle: craaazy talented and smart... but for some reason he hangs out with casey. so there must be a pretty big blind spot in that intelligence... I'M KIDDING!! DON'T TELL EITHER OF THEM I SAID THAT

booster: i don't get her :( she's so different to ted, i seriously don't understand how they get along so well?? obviously a competent hero and whatever but seems to have it out for me for some reason

coworkers: bishop... yeah... he's certainly got the brains for this job, and the old boss seemed to really take a shine to him. not one for after-work drinks though. pretty frosty in general. not that he's unprofessional! just clearly not interested in mixing work and personal life

other heroes: standoffish, prefers to work alone, sometimes pretty abrasive, but she's got ted's approval, so... ladybug's clearly one of the good ones

strangers: this guy on the train didn't even look at me when i said hello. what a bitch

and of course who could forget... casey: she's a bitch and so mean to me and a total embarrassment when it comes to PR and rude and spiteful and judgemental and ugly and stupid and pisses me off and tall and strong and lets me live in her apartment without paying rent and always saves me when i need her and... and... idk. i dont like her

17. What are three moments in their life that impacted your OC the most?

her mother dying for sure... nell was at home with alex and a babysitter when it happened so its not like she witnessed it or anything but it was definitely like. the moment her life trajectory changed

again another death that she didnt personally witness but found out about after the fact... ted dying. not so much of a material impact on her circumstances like with her mom but emotionally. Big stuff

hrmmm i could say "sending the first letter to casey" because that really was the first domino in a life changing sequence of events but it wasnt really impactful in and of itself... and casey in general is more of like. a slow acting poison or gradual mold growth than "one moment"... maybe casey leaving or making the decision to go and save casey after they broke up bc if he hadnt done that then caseybug would have simply ended forever and it was a big moment for Nell Emotional Awareness And Communication

honourable mentions: becoming ladybug, ted coming back to life, dying (felt like a cheat answer)

[haejjoon]

Recently I was brain-rotting with someone about Joker's sexuality and we both concluded that... He seems kinda uncomfortable in the game. Mostly because of the "There's no turning back..." Msg afterward. Like, Atlus? Why is this so menacing and dreadful? And then you have these several moments of Akira jokingly flirting/or openly flirting with his Bros (gobro included<3)

It's just that nothing happens in relationships... I know you can interpret anything as you want *ahem* Curse Atlus for making silent Protagonists. But I couldn't feel like Akira enjoys it. It is as if he felt that he has to be in relationships with women (I forgot the term name but it's like when you question your sexuality because of heteronormative everywhere)

Of course, it may be just because romance is purely optional so there is no need to write it that in deep. But some romance routes are showing disapproval through Sojiro or Akira's face in model change.

It's just... Seeing Akira smiling after the friendship route with Futaba was such a whiplash for me. He doesn't do it when saying he loves her. I never even KNEW he CAN change his face on a model!!! That made me so curious if his face changes with others by he always facing away from the camera</3

Let me study you, Jokerrrr

(if someone is curious about Futaba, you can find screenshots on @/leonawriter's blog)

So uhh... I am really curious what are your thoughts on Romance in P5 :D

Because there are several posts about some translation misses in Persona for a variety of reasons as well as THESE. DAMN. FLOWER. KEYCHAINS.

Atlus can "queerbait" me as much as Capcom(Ace Attorney) but it is not my fault they have written these characters with homoerotic tension!!!

...or maybe I am just deluded AroAce V.V

So, yeah, sorry for my rant about not well-written romance :'D

HOL ON LETTER COOK???? U HAVE A POINT.

i always saw the romance options as... you know, options, which was why i always took them with a grain of salt. like its kind of ridiculous how little romancing anyone affects the overall plot. i romanced haru my first run through because i thought it'd somehow give her more screentime via plot (jun hhaeyeun u poor, poor fool.)

but you're so right??? whats the in lore reason as to why joker seems so aloof?? from his various options in main plot we know that hes pretty memey, cares a lot for his friends, etc etc. but when u have the option to romance the Girl Of Your Dreams you're suddenly about as emotional as a rock? i think ur onto smth...

not to mention he DOES seem to be super uncomfortable with the options... idk he always seemed like he was just going along with whatever the girl wanted to make her happy, bc he was her friend. one thing in particular that i wanted to point out was ann's romance route, where ur choices are either "you can rely on me" or "you can rely on the others" .... WHAT. like obviously you'd say "i'm here for you", right?? obviously akiren would say that he's here for ann, right?????? personally i think that akiren doesnt even know when hes dating a girl. the horde of girls who castrate him on valentine's day absolutely took him by surprise. he was just being a homie.

(which i think is prettu sad if you think about it... half of the dialogue options to toggle the romance route just sounds like akiren's trying to be friendly. "you can rely on me" "i came here to see you" "you've got me" arent romantic in the slightest. these poor fucking girls... a guy is decent to them One Time and they're over the moon .......... pls u all deserve better)

[hertwood]

dts s4 e1-3

e1: -OK this was my first dts epsiode EVER it is so special and nostalgic 2 me its the start of EVERYTHING i do not accept s4 slander in this house!!!!!! -daniel is SO optimistic abt mclaren thats so sad 😭😭😭😭 -i think as a first episode for me this was GREAT for setting the scene. this is the first time in the entire series where they have a dedicated segment to the team principals and their rivalries and i think that is so so so important to be able to look at it through that lense moving forward -"[bottas] was moaning and bitching like you wouldn't believe" ok whatever u say moaning and bitching multi-world champion christian horner -"toto inhereted something already well oiled" wasn't brawn/mercedes struggling till he came along or am i wrong. like he joined and a year later they won their first championship. like am i missing something -"darling, i'm not riding bottas" is such an underrated iconic dts quote -i wish i was fuckin there to see nikita crash in his first fucking lap. iconic -love it when commentators say "oh thats a reaaaally interesting strategy call" its clearly code for what the fuck are they doing -i'm so jealous of yall who got to watch this race season live this opening round is SUCH a narratively beautiful start of the season and dts captures it well!!

e2: -i've started watching this while manicly cleaning my apartment so i have nothing to say abt the beginning bit soz -max f cameo!!! v important 2 me :) -michael & daniel are so kaylor coded to me. i know some ppl are like "oh they were never friends they were just coworkers" and i'm like CLEARLY thats full of shit just bc they've fallen out doesnt mean you need to retcon the friendship they had. its sad to see when it was good bc clearly there were good parts. if only we could know -this is the danny ric girlie orgin story 2 ME LETS FUCK SHIT UP -this is such an iconic lando episode 2 me as well! "1 nill down already fuck shit fuck" thats MY baby nothing has changed clearly -"the fireworks for me?" "they can be" 🥺🥺🥺🥺 -"what if i'm just a cunt" is such an important daniel quote to me it is actually deep LISTEN. why must we be expected to be calm n collected n positive in the face of adversity. why must we put on a brave face. our negative emotions deserve to exist without defining us. ANYWAY -i never even remember what exactly happens each monaco weekend i just know that ferraris gonna shit the bed somehow -OH this episode was the FIRST time i opened ao3 carlando interact for like 10 seconds at the end of the episode and i was immediately oh theres DEFINITELY fic of them fucking. in abundance. i just know it

e3: -having season 4 be the first season i watched just permanently altered my brain chemistry the 4433 brainrot is REAL they get near eachother on track i go NUTS they are everything to me. you'd ship them too if you werent a coward -LOVE every single segment with susie. she is so wise i could listen to her narrate the whole f1 season all day -pierre still doing red bull's dirty work i see OH MY GOD HES NEVER GONNA PICK YOU -ROSCOE -unfortunately i am still and will always be a mercedes girl in my SOUL. my bad -i think lewis is taking the piss when he talks abt not being an aggressive driver. is he the /most/ aggressive driver? no. but christian is unfortunately right. also reminds me of how in the 07-08 season there was a race where he got a huge penalty bc he was "too aggressive" and there was all sorts of talk abt how he was too aggressive of a driver 🙄🙄 anyway 4433 cinematic parallels -the way ppl STILL bring this crash up gets me mad like i promise no one was trying to have a nasty crash on purpose--they just happen sometimes. no one should fault lewis for celebrating either--it was his home race and he could've easily not know and you think max would want his apologies and platitudes? NO. also currently they're both clearly not hung up on it so idk why (mostly max fans) (only some obviously) are still hung up on it. "lewis could've killed max" and max could've killed lewis in monza in that case they're fucking even let it fucking go -but there is no way that boy wasnt CONCUSSED as FUCK you can just tell with that 1000 yard stare they shouldn't have let him drive again so quickly tbh -however i DO agree w toto saying max gets away w/ driving aggressively bc most ppl will bail out and i do think that is somewhat true. not to say max is the only driver with this mindset but i do think theres some truth to that -aldskjfalksjfalksdjf im looking up articles abt the incident and this reddit thread said that alex thought the penalty was fair i am KISSING HIM on the mouth

[rivalsforlife]

I finished the new persona 5 tactica game and its dlc in 7 days which is faster than most people with their priorities in order, so I am ahead of all of my friends and therefore am going to dump all my spoilery opinions here.

The gameplay was fun (I played on easy mode because I am a baby) and I liked making triangles. that was definitely the most satisfying part of the game when I could make triangles and wipe out every enemy on the board at once. I felt like a god. I liked seeing these characters again, I like them, I like getting little insights into their lives.

I can't say that the story was """objectively""" bad but it did a lot of things that just kind of irritated me / felt sloppy / holy shit this is some of the worst Women Writing in a franchise I wouldn't say has particularly stellar Women Writing.

To begin with, I will list off my predictions going into this game based off of trailers:

-This is obviously taking place inside this toshiro guy's brain and/or he's the one who is causing all of this.

-all the villains are going to be Evil People In His Life

-first boss Marie is going to be his wife/fiancee, but it's some kind of political marriage type deal. second boss is going to be some kind of mentor/boss. probably run into a character that is going to be his teacher at some point when the school arc hits

-erina is based on a real person in his life as well who was involved in whatever sort of rebellion toshiro did outside of all this.

This is practically exactly what happens in the game, with the exception that I got the second boss's identity wrong (he's the father, which in hindsight I should've guessed from the start - instead I guessed as soon as Toshiro brought up that his father arranged his marriage).

It might be my fault for watching the trailers before playing but in my defense this game is extremely predictable. Like I said, I guessed the second boss's identity before he even showed up in the game. I think it became pretty apparent this was toshiro's fault early into the game.

uh what else. first kingdom I didn't love much because it felt very repetitive and like it went on for too long. as I wrote in discord after finishing it:

toshiro and erina are both fine but a lot of it is like. extremely predictable and blatant about it. like I could guess marie's whole deal from the trailers so it's a lot of "yeah we know. yeah we know" and it feels weird how the phantom thieves haven't yet at all guessed that toshiro is the cause of this when it feels like that's deefinitely how they're going to end up. a lot of the early segments felt repetitive (toshiro "oh no we should run away why would we risk getting hurt" erina "but we have to stand up for what is right!" toshiro "!" repeat endlessly until close to the end of the kingdom). and I definitely did not enjoy marie as a villain, she's so cartoonishly evil that it just kind of got to the point of exhaustion. comparing her as a first-game villain to someone like kamoshida for example, both are horrible people, but seeing kamoshida in real life and his actions in real life and how it was affecting everyone, despite him being fairly one-dimensional as a villain, made him an extremely hateable but very effective villain. I did not feel any of that for marie I was just sick of her. I'm hoping the game steps it up a bit moving forward bc I think the "not seeing the villains in reality aside from a few brief glimpses" thing might be rough on that aspect

I played the DLC after the first kingdom, which was a mistake because they have the same credits as the full game meaning I got spoiled on Yuki being related to him somehow. I thought she was a sister, maybe, until the moment toshiro brought up that his mom was dead, and then it was pretty obvious but it took the game FOREVER to actually state this.

Yuki's writing is where I really started to lose it because her character trait is Mother. There's nothing else. I actually laughed a bit when she jumped in front of that beam to protect toshiro because literally where else could it possibly be going. at this time I declared her "the most fridged persona character ever". this was, perhaps, naive.

THIRD KINGDOM. the introduction of eri natsuhara who dragged erina down with her. we have now completed the "bitch wife - mother - manic pixie dream girl" trifecta of shitty female character writing tropes. And I don't think it would bother me quite so much if they didn't go for all three in the same game and none of those three seemed to have any amount of motivation outside of toshiro.

Like again I'm not going to claim that persona has ever had stellar female character writing, but they typically at least manage to have the characters have some amount of traits outside of whatever guy they're associated with...? They have some characters I really like (Futaba, Yukari, Mitsuru as examples off the top of my head) and most at least have some part of their character arc as an individual one.

I guess the closest I could compare Eri's whole thing to is Aigis, but Aigis at least had a good part of her character arc independent, tying into the overall "meaning of life" theme, trying to figure out her own purpose and soul and ending up on "wanting to protect the protagonist" isn't bad because the game is about friends giving you the meaning of life. aigis contributes a lot thematically and I think her character arc makes sense. at least in my view.

I did not see any reason for Eri to be the supportive character to Toshiro's whole deal, but she's like "I'm going to help you achieve your dreams!!" when her own dreams and goals took a hard sideline in the plot. We know basically nothing about what Eri's done in the presumably decades between the high school events and the events of this game. The game really tried pushing the "sometimes, if you fight back... people get hurt!" but it was much more of an emphasis on "toshiro is sad that eri got hurt" and much less "how is Eri actually suffering from this other than in hospital wearing bandages". we know she lost her will to fight but the girl literally just got hit by a train so who can blame her for that, we don't know how or why she regained it, I especially don't like that she made the whole thing about "I'll catch up to you one day!". Did she get to graduate? What's her career like? What's the extent of her injuries and how do they impact her day-to-day life? We know Toshiro got shunned by everyone but did Eri have her social circle decimated as well, especially since Toshiro apparently never talked to her again??

It's like the focus on Eri's injuries was a) she lost her will to fight :( b) Toshiro is sad about it and they won't be able to fight together anymore :( and not the things about how it's impacted her life outside of Toshiro. I think that would've been nice to see more.

And the thing I especially didn't like about how they wrote Eri is that her character dragged down Erina, who was pretty good throughout the first arc, fell kinda into the background in the second arc, and then in arc 3 just got pretty much merged with Eri and suddenly her sole purpose was to protect Toshiro's heart -- nothing about the people she was trying to protect in the first arc or really anything other than a few allusions to an ongoing identity crisis over not being a real person. I will admit that her turning into a Persona was the first time I was genuinely caught off guard in this game.

(Sidenote: It was so obvious throughout the third arc that the ruler would be Shadow-ish Toshiro that the red herring they were pulling with nakabachi was completely insufferable.)

Anyways I get that this wasn't an Erina Game it's a Toshiro Game but it's just the combination of a bunch of weird writing decisions that really got to me in this case and at a certain point it was like doing a bingo for "shitty women writing". Eri is both the Inspiration For Toshiro's Rebellious Spirit who also Sees His Potential and Wants To Help Him Achieve His Dreams and then is later The Poor Defenseless Victim And Her Being Hurt Causes Toshiro To Lose His Way But Still Inspires Him To Be Better, and she's also The Woman Who Broke His Heart And Spirit And Is The Cause Of His Suffering But He Doesn't Regret The Time They Spent Together... it's just a weird checklist and it got tiring for me. I don't mind some of these things if it wasn't also in conjunction with Yuki's sole personality being Mother and Marie's sole personality being Bitch Wife Only Marrying Me For My Status.

idk maybe I'll feel better about it as time passes but at a certain point it was like my god are we really still doing this.

anyways what else. the DLC! I enjoyed the DLC overall. I really liked Guernica and Luca's whole thing. I think it was mostly held back by the fact that neither Akechi or Sumire were their normal selves and you couldn't fully allude to their Problems. Akechi kind of did nothing even if bullying him was fun. Sumire got a few good moments. I found it especially weird that Akechi didn't pick up on anything being up with "Kasumi", especially when at one point Luca literally calls her "Kasumi" in front of everyone, and especially when he should have picked up on something being weird when Sumire was talking about her sister since to the best of my knowledge japanese doesn't have an age-neutral "sister" word so she would have been saying "younger sister" when she meant "older sister". but I'd be interested in checking the original out to see if they got away with it some other way.

(I do find Akechi's one weird "let me guess, you're a god" comment extremely funny though. Is it meant to imply he's dealt with gods before this because I don't think he should have. I think Akechi got too much knowledge of how persona games work for a second.)

I really think Akechi could've been an interesting addition to the main game considering the plot is centered around the guy who is rumored to be becoming prime minister after Shido, but I figured out pretty quick that they couldn't put him in here because he would just have too much knowledge about the current political state and would be able to deduce at least most of the second arc very quickly. at least half this game apparently operates on idiot plot or in one memorable case "yeah I thought something was off but apparently decided not to say anything about it until now". so back to purgatory with you, akechi.

oh one last thing. in the main story. why the fuck were the phantom thieves there?? I get how the whole thing got constructed for toshiro but there was no reason for the thieves to get called into this, because the god wouldn't want them there and (unlike the dlc) toshiro wouldn't have called for them, unless maybe it was subconscious, but they really don't even attempt at giving a half-assed explanation so I am still completely lost on that.

anyways overall like I said I had fun but a lot of this felt sloppy. sometimes I feel bad about my writing skills but then I remember how incredibly unsubtle persona is and feel better about myself. I really wish erina could have driven the plot on her own right and not just for toshiro's sake. that's kind of the part I feel bitterest about at this point.

[mwolf0epsilon]

Whumptober Day 21: Famous Last Words

Prompt: Coughing Up Blood

Summary: There's a lot of things that Doom regrets. Looking into what happened on Ringo Vida might be the last one.

[Never written Doom before. Might be the first and last, which is ironic considering how this one ends.]

THIS STORY IS ALSO ON AO3

---

Doom might not know what it was like to be a Jedi following their doctrine and its enigmatic intricacies, but he did understand what it was like to mourn the death of a sibling. He's done so hundreds if not thousands of times already, and was well acquainted with the five stages of grief.

General Tiplar's death had taken its toll on general Tiplee.

His heart ached for his one remaining general. He understood how much it hurt to lose someone so close to your heart. Jedi or not, the twins had been an inseparable duo. Seeing one without the other felt like a crime...

But not even he would risk the hide of his men just because he was hurting. Which was what Tiplee had been doing since Ringo Vida. The scarlet skinned Mikkia had become so caught up in anger and grief that she did not seem to be able to process, that she no longer seemed to have any regard for sensible planning of any of the assaults she lead.

Aggressive tactics had become her go to strategy. A means to turn her hurt into a sharp weapon she could use.

Doom's men were dying because of unresolved grief.

During the first week since the murder on the battlefield, Doom had been absolutely seething. Betrayal had never been something easy for him to let go of, and that 501st trooper who'd shot down his general had betrayed him and his men in a way that had certainly gotten his blood boiling.

Shameful as it was to admit, he'd felt a strange sense of satisfaction when he'd heard the kid had died. Taken with him whatever rabies he'd caught that lead him to gun down an innocent without a thought.

He'd stopped feeling all that good when he realized what path his own grief had been taking him. How much he'd let it consume him that he didn't mourn a sick brother who'd obviously had no control over his own diseased brain.

If anything, Doom had felt worse when he heard another brother had perished as a result of the same sickness. Apparently the kid's closest friend had gotten infected trying to find a cure for him. Subsequently going off the deep end and tried to kill the chancellor due to delirium and confusion.

None of them had been at fault.

Doom's misery had spoken too loud for him to think clearly. Just as Tiplee's own grief blinded her to the suffering of the men she was getting killed out on the field.

War and pestilence were not fair mistresses. Neither was bereavement.

Even so something had definitely felt off about the whole situation. Doom had just never been able to really put a finger on it. To scratch that irritating little itch in the back of his brain that screamed of a wrongness unknown.

Not until now...

Captain Rex had given him no answers when he'd sought him out. Refused to so much as address either incidents that had not only resulted in a dead Jedi, but two dead brothers as well. The blond trooper had even told him to leave his men alone to try to process the losses at their own pace.

Doom hadn't even dared go to Skywalker.

The brash general of the 501st had never been someone he liked to deal with whenever his battalion was forced to work with him and his men and, seeing as Rex was not cooperating, he doubted his pig-headed Jedi would either.

That left him with only one other source of information that might know what happened. The one that had to put down another brother to ensure that damnable virus didn't infect anyone else...

Commander Fox would surely give him the closure he needed.

Or at least he'd thought so. What he got instead were cryptic answers and hushed whispers. Warnings that made little sense to him at the time. Warnings that came from tired lips and a pleading tone.

"Leave well enough alone Doom, before something happens to you as well..." Fox had told him through gritted teeth. His bucket had still been on, but his body language was nothing if not fearful. Unguarded. Tired. "Nothing good ever comes from troopers putting their noses where they don't belong."

Looking back on it now, Fox had likely been trying to protect him more than dissuade him from finding a way to deal with his loss. He'd not understood him then. He'd just wanted to find answers that would appease Tiplee before someone else had to needlessly die in battle.

But now?

He and Fox had never been close... But Fox hadn't wanted him to die like this. Because he knew it was going to happen. The amount of corpses Doom was surrounded by as he bled out, choking on his own blood and regrets, told him as much.

Empty eyes, a drawn blaster, armour so coated in red it couldn't all be paint... Commander Doom had dug too deep and it had cost him everything. It had likely cost Fox a lot more however.

This little nook in the lower levels where brothers were thrown to die, coughing up blood while the marshal commander of the Coruscant Guard stared without truly seeing, couldn't have been anything more than a punishment for a man who only wanted to protect his kin.

At least Doom wouldn't die in ignorance. A bittersweet comfort.

[private-bryan]

WIP Wednesday

So, after "In Their Thirties" rewired my brain the other day, this fic idea moved in - this is your fault, areseebee. When/If it's done, it'll be a companion piece for chapter 13 of MQRB (assuming I make it that far for that fic, too), and this also is a prequel explaining James and Erin's living arrangements in my fic "To Travel", set ~5-6 years beforehand.

It's not alluded to yet in the draft, but this fic will show the main difference I have in my headcanon for Future Jerin compared to most of my mutuals' - that is, I think Erin would be the one to leave Northern Ireland, not James.

He's found a home with them, which is something he was missing with Kathy IMO, and I think he'd stay in Belfast for a bit after Uni, then later move back to Derry. Erin wants to be more worldly, but she does have a habit of looking before she leaps...

He should have gone. It was stupid, really. She was his best friend, the person he'd call every week to spend hours chatting to, and she'd email him every day to check in. Even with all the wedding planning going on, she had still kept it up. He'd lost track of which excuse he'd told which person. He was sick. No, he was working. No, he'd lost his passport (which even Michelle had said was a stupid excuse, considering he could have travelled over on the ferry using just his driving licence). Whatever anyone believed, she was over there, no doubt being whirled around on the dancefloor by her new husband under the loving gaze of her friends and family (could he still include himself in that, now?), while he was sitting in his depressingly empty new home, surrounded by still packed boxes and unassembled furniture. He tried not to think about the fact that he'd made sure the bottles of wine were near the top of the kitchen box. The only light was from the front hall, the previous owner having removed the rest of the bulbs when they’d moved out; he’d not bothered to move it over to the living room, knowing that he’d just have to go out and get more the next day anyway. He thought there was a bedside lamp tucked away in one of the boxes nearby if he needed it, but right now the darkness suited his mood. A quiet buzz sounded from the other side of the room, and the walls were briefly painted a pale blue as his Blackberry received another text message. He’d been getting them, on and off, all day; Michelle had been gently teasing him at first, saying how all the English were rides and that he’d obviously pulled the short straw looks-wise, but then she had texted him. I hope you’re OK. I wish you were here today. I need you here. That was her to a 'T', ever the stickler for correct spelling and punctuation. He’d tossed it into the corner after that, his stomach giving sickening flips, and had resolutely ignored every text and call that had been sent since. He didn’t need the play-by-play of what was happening, about how the ceremony had gone, about how happy she was. A car drove past, its lights briefly illuminating the room and catching the half-filled glass in his hand, before the evening gloom returned.  He’d wanted to get drunk all day, the knowledge of what was going on across the Irish Sea preying on his mind as he shifted things from the rented van into the house, but even this late he was still only on his second glass of rosé. Maybe that was the reason she’d never made another attempt at them getting together over the last nine years; he was too safe, too boring.  She’d had ample opportunities to make a move if she’d wanted to. They’d been together often enough, thick as thieves all the way through the last years of school, through Uni and beyond, until she’d found her match and they’d drifted apart a bit. He’d never seen her more enthusiastic then, and she didn’t need him hanging on when she was getting a serious relationship off of the ground. So he'd stepped back, still being good friends but not as close as they'd once been; it had almost come as a relief when they became separated by the ferry journey. A clock chimed from one of the boxes, muted and faint, and he checked his watch.  11 o’clock, and all was “well”.

[thecoddaughter]

DNDads characters as Maisie Peters' 'The Good Witch'

HONEY, I'M HOME!

Guys, I'm back with DNDads as Songs thanks to this album. I tried to stay canon compliant with these, but you all know how my brain is.

The Good Witch - Sparrow 

I cannot see anything that says Armageddon and not say its Sparrow "Still wants to politely and properly warn you, this is Armageddon" "When all I do is think about the past" "I still argue like my mother and suppress stuff like my dad"

Coming of Age - Cassandra

As much as I like the concept of Cassie and Nick being married and then she was brainwashed into thinking they got divorced, I also like the idea that they were a bunch of flings or friends with benefits.  "Was it a love affair or just a lot of late nights" "If it was a first kiss, how come it felt like a snakebite" "I’m quarrying new ground and I’m burning all your CDs" "I know I made you the big star" "I wish I could’ve seen it"

Watch - Grant

So I make Yeet Bigly a bigger part of Grant’s life in my head than he probably was to Grant but whatever… If the first person I came out to and liked very politely turned me down, I don’t know if I would ever get over that. But I never let go of anything… I like to think they have to have run into each other since if the Kiddads have traveled back and forth.  "You took a road trip into the mountains. I feel like all of my exes have done that." "You’re still there. You look better. I fought it but I saw it and it sawed my right in half. You still get to me, but I still let you. You’re being a superstar and all I got are victim cards…" "You have a camcorder out of the 90s." "Everybody pretends that they’re great, but what if you actually might be." "Cause you broke my heart and my self-esteem"

Body Better - Darryl 

DON'T QUESTION ME... I will never get off the train of Darryl and Carol needed to get divorced! 

Want You Back - Morgan

I think once Morgan found out that Glenn lost Nick in that court case, even though it wasn’t really his fault, she would have very complicated thoughts… They do eventually get back together because obviously. But also she had to have felt like things with Jodie where just wrong, they never were meant to happen.  About Glenn: "’Til you caught a teacher’s daughter with a dangerous text. I read it like a bible and I wore it like a bulletproof vest." "Found myself a lover that made everything rhyme." "So I know you did bad" "You left like an assassin, maybe that’s for the best." "The issue is I know of this and I still want you back." "I must go out with a stranger. I must kiss him to get stronger." About Jodie: "So I know you did bad" "Yeah I know it didn’t last and what was cheap to you, to me was all I had." "Found yourself a lover, I bet she doesn’t sing." "So you got to be a coward and I salvaged a little self-respect." "It wasn’t real, it was for me but you know that."

The Band & I - the Dads

The entire vibe, not specific lyrics.

You’re Just A Boy - Normal and Hermie 

This song is both of them at each other, because those two don’t communicate clearly and everything is just a mess.  Both "You’re kinda awful but you’re not awful on purpose" "I’m on a one way trip to take over the world. You could’ve come but your head’s in the sand." "You were my best friend, my shoulder to lean on" Hermie "Gave a two word response, when I was having a breakdown. Oh Mr. Bruce Wayne, where is that cape now?" "But you just a boy and I’m kinda the man" Normal "Don’t you see that you’re losing this, I’m bout to be gone!" "Maybe your lost and just can’t see what you have" "Goodbye from your biggest fan. Goodbye from the bigger man." 

Lost the Breakup - Veronica 

Because she very clearly won the breakup with her and Scary’s dad. “I’m the greatest love that you waste,” come on! That is so Ronnie-coded. 

Wendy - Scary

I struggled with this one… While this song is about a romantic relationship, I think it is Scary’s view of men (the boys, Willy, Terry) impacted by her dad.  Her brain "Behind every lost boy, is always a Wendy" "If I’m not careful I’ll wake up and we’ll be married and I’ll still flinch at the sound of a door." "Lose the world that you live in, pretend that it’s what you wanted" Normal "I know the girl that you want and it scares me" Link "And you’re pretty like a girl ’til you’re vicious like a man" Taylor "Yeah you give up like a ghost, leaving halfway through the band" Willy "And you’re evasive on the phone ’til you’re sorry on the floor" "You’ll throw your rocks and you’ll scream that you hate me" Terry "Wait until he gets bored and wanders back to the forest"  "It’s a life, I could have, I know."

Run - Hero

I feel like Hero is in her advice giving era and would probably have talked to the other girls, Normal, and Scary about this at some point. I feel like she has some bad past relationships due to her family’s complicated romantic entanglements… (also lyrics all say man but we know that aint true from some of these folk) "I’ve been lied to, I’ve been cut and deleted. I’ve her some things that I will leave unrepeated. I’ve seen some flags but the reddest one is:" To the Girls: "If a man says that he wants you in his life forever, run! To Normal: "If he calls you up, says he so in love and it’s been one week you better run!" To Scary: "If you heart says ‘broke’ and your friends say ‘don’t,’ it’s and RIP you better run! As fast as you can, take a quick, sharp turn at the sight of the man and make it done." How she thinks: "If he says he’s real, he’s not" "He likes a promise if he don’t have to keep it. He hates a sentence when he has to mean it."

Two Weeks Ago - Glenn

A song cannot be sad and mention cars and me not think of Glenn and Morgan. This song is not about grief but god knows I will make it about grief! (I was crying thinking about them, even tho she’s alive now…) "When we said goodbye, wish I hadn’t let go and I wish it was two weeks ago." "You were driving fast, I was holding back and I loved you babe, but I bet you knew that." "And the song was true and the sky was black." "I wish when we went to the beach that day, we’d taken more pictures, I’d been more brave." "The song was true now it’s all I have… Now this song’s for you and it’s all we have."

BSC - Lark

Lark in the wake of the complicated relationship that is his life toward Rebecca. Listen to this one cause it didn’t write all the lines applied to him because the sone is an acronym for a reason…  "We don’t speak cause its too tricky, but if I’m tricky, why’d you kiss me?" "If you don’t love me, why’d you’d act it? Love’s a verb and not a bandage." "I kept it in but it wrecked my organs." "If you don’t love me, what was April?" "You played a game but I run the table. Mr.-I-Don't-Want-A-Lable" "I am unhinged. I am scaling all these walls, I’ve gone within. "

Therapy - Veronica

This one might be cruel… Veronica after Terry died (but that isn’t confirmed yet… He’s just been shot! But it was all I could think about… Don’t hate me!)

There It Goes - Cassandra

Cassie again because I couldn’t think of anyone else. Except every time she talks positively about her new man I cringe remember she currently dating Willy. SO THIS IS WHEN SHE JUST GOT “DIVORCED”.  "I’m reading novels, I’m dating but just dating for sport." "I’m doing better, I made it to September" "I feel it changing, I’m young but I am aging and I need you less than I did." "The girls and I do yoga. I wake up and it’s October, the loss is yours."

History of Man - Scary

This is Scary about her view of love and her parents.  Her mom: "She stays up, he’s sleeping like a lamb. She begs him, he says he doesn’t understand. She loves him more than anyone ever has." Her dad: "I couldn’t believe it, how you could just stop wanting me." "You didn’t even falter. Didn’t look back once, did you?" "He stole her youth and promised heaven."  Herself: "I’ve pleaded with the powers and their plans." "Hear my lyrics, taste my venom." Link (I am a gothcleats shipper, sorry): "I stay up, you’re sleeping like a lamb. I beg you and you don’t understand. I hold on, I try to hold your hand. I save you a seat and then you say you wanna stand. So you’ll lose me, the best you’ll ever have."

[weebsinstash]

Stay strong love ❣️

Thanks everyone 🥺 this whole thing was hella depressing and then I, you know, tell my mom how incredibly shitty her reaction was, basically victim blaming me when it didn't even apply, and she's gone and used that as an excuse to go to bed early when she knows she's my only transportation to this job which, I knew this was going to be a problem the second I found out this job isn't even bus accessible. Did I ever tell you guys that. That she kept badgering me to let her apply to jobs for me and I let her do it so she would just fucking leave me alone and she wound up applying to the wrong kind of job at the wrong location and later justified it as "well what if it was gone later?" Because in her idiot fucking brain the completely wrong thing you dont even want that's just going to stress you out more is OBVIOUSLY better than nothing at all/something you actually want. And she keeps saying "but we talked about this" when the greatest extent of those "talks" were me going "uh huh, yeah, sure, whatever" because she would be bringing this up almost every fucking single time she and I were in the same room

Remember kids, if someone personally wrongs you and blames you for something that isn't even your fault, you calling them out and being "too mean about it" OBVIOUSLY gives that person the right to ignore you and not have to apologize and never have to acknowledge how fucking manipulative and shitty they are!

This sort of fucking subtle "retaliation" has been happening my entire life. Even when she "helps" I am left with disappointment and anger and I'm never allowed to speak of it. My brand new job is a fucking seasonal position because she decided that was better than, I dunno, trying to contact the store and see if there was a reason certain normal positions weren't posted online, or call and see if we could apply in person, nope she just applied for a completely temporary fucking job where they may quite literally kick me out the door once a certain amount of time is up. Why the fuck wouldn't she wait to apply me to an actual permanant position. Why would she think that forcing her extremely critically depressed daughter into the wrong fucking job where all my efforts could completely go to waste and I could eventually be unemployed again through no fault of my own was a good idea.

But I mean. I'm not a good person either. I will very casually talk about killing myself all the time where she has become completely desensitized to it. The other day I became extremely emotional and started talking about how I needed to rehome my pets before I die and she's just like "no I can take care of your pets for you" which 1 not the point and 2 like BITCH YOU THINK I TRUST YOU? 🤣 I would literally kill them myself before I left them all alone under her incompetent ass

Anyways I have an overnight shift in an hour and I get to go wake her up and argue with her ass because I don't have enough money in my bank account to take a lyft 🥺 and its also like, taking a lyft this late at night on a Saturday would probably be extremely expensive. I feel so trapped with this woman

It's fucked up but. I knew that. Deep down. Part of the reason I kept talking to that guy. Was because. Part of me was hoping he was dangerous or something and that maybe I would be killed or harmed or something. And then I wouldn't have to deal with stuff like this anymore and hurting all the time

[javid-shamash]

69 for stras and aeon :-)

man. thisll be a long one. Stras first cause itll be a little shorter

aelwyd cannot be trusted. she's self serving and will sell out anyone if it gives her any sort of edge, no matter how small. he's pretty sure she can be trusted to hate bela but he does not trust her with literally anything else. everytime he's given her a chance to prove herself trustworthy she's immediately betrayed it

blank is so fucking naive and so easily manipulated its embarrassing. theyll listen to literally anything anyone says and that makes them so easy to use as a tool for ulterior purposes, and as such, cannot be trusted. also theyre obviously getting used like a goddamn puppet by probably vecna. whatevers going on, theyre not in total control, and as such is even MORE of a threat

chini is a threat fullstop. bela's in her fuckign BRAIN. absolutely cannot be trusted. he'll try to help kairii break her out of it but. man. whatever happens happens. if that means working with her, if that means getting rid of her. stras knows things will most likely break bad

kairii is... interesting. stras did not really think much of them except as a good fighter, but now that he's getting to know them, hes realizng theyre WAY more similar than he thought, and is kind of vibing?? they both know what theyre about. stras is beginning to think. there might be someone here who actually understands him

ira is. as she's always been. a nice, comfortable enigma. she's nice and helpful and he has no fucking clue what's up with her. he doesn't know where she will fall when the chips are down, but knows she helped him get the truth from that shadow thing in the last battle. he's hoping they can reach a consensus but. she's a mystery to him

Aeon time.

Thyme is... odd. theres really no other way to put it. aeon just categorically does not understand thyme at all. they dont understand thyme's priorities, thyme's motivations, why thyme cares so much about making things fancy, about being the one to win people over... thyme is. weird. theyre also not helpful with literally anything

sylvas!!!! bugboy. uhm. whats happening with you <3. aeon is confused by sylvas but in a different way than thyme because aeon does not know or understand what academics are and why sylvas cares about it. aeon wants to be supportive but is. confused. and also maybe theyre a teeny tiny bit a little jealous that they can get along with uo so well when aeon feels like they barely know how to interact with uo on a good day despite caring about them so much. the social anxiety swag

ymira is fun! she's really interesting and cool to talk and hang out with and is a nice cook. but also. aeon doesnt really. know how to talk to her. they feel like everytime theyve tried, its petered out and theyve just. completely failed to talk to her. plus when aeon asked her advice and she couldnt help at all they just. felt so dissappointed and they dont want to blame ymira for that. its not her fault. but there's a bit of bitterness that the one person he thought would understand. didnt

aine is some kind of creature of some sort. another one that aeon. doesnt really know how to interact with. but also aeon feels some solace in that. aine the most feels like someone aeon could sit in a room in silence with for hours and not feel like the silence is awkward or uncomfortable. which aeon just. really appreciates? aeon sort of likes not knowing much about aine because it means he can maintain this sort of. communal silence without worrying about personal shit interrupting

uo is aeon's first friend, and as i alluded earlier, aeon has no idea how to interact with them and feels very very embarrassed by it. they should know! they were in a similar environment, they have similar builds and fighting styles, theyve got similar interests... but aeon just. does not know how to talk to uo and it feels like uo says things that are important and necessary but aeon doesnt understand them at all. so. aeon feels. awkward. they care about uo a lot and appreciate them greatly. but it sucks not knowing how to talk to them. also there's some lingering issues with getting such a stark reminder of Woods Time but he's. mostly over it

echo goldaline. man. what a card. aeon has such a myriad of feelings about echo that he has no fucking clue what to do about. theyve been trying to like. sort and dissect their thoughts but everything keeps happening always and forever. so they never get a chance to just. think. and put their feelings into words. so its just a mess of confusion and bitterness and affection that cannot build into something concrete. they think theyre friends with echo. they dont want anything else. but beyond that. they dont know

[audiovisualrecall]

Yesterday I was trying to find out from our older sister if she was still cool with the plan to grill for dinner, and also I wanted to ask if our parents were interested in coming or not/if they had other plans for dinner (we already ate 2 dinners at their place, so). So I sent a group text. And our sister didn't reply. But our parents did, and firstly I had a typo so they were confused, and so we said oh we were thinking of grilling. So then ma called steph and basically they were interested. But none of us ever typed that out in the group chat or thought to try calling our older sister, who was out fishing.... well me and steph and her hubby (and then just us 2 after his sunburn started to be an issue again) went and did our own things and we went and started painting - we were figuring we would eventually hear from oldest sister and discuss who was going to go food shop or whatever...yes we should have called, idk I don't usually think to call people, and I thought the group chat had the info but idk it just. Anyway we had a failure to communicate, obviously, and that is really my fault, bc I'm the one who invited our parents and I should have thought oh oldest sister didn't reply to the text, let's call her. But we were kind of annoyed at the lack of reply? I guess or at least steph was annoyed/assumed that oldest sister just doesnt like her and thats why there was no reply, and I allowed that to color my choices and also allowed adhd brain to forget about like, the passage of time and that I should act on my own planning? And well, she was fishing, so she didnt see the texts till later. And when they were done fishing my dad called her and was like hey so we're coming for dinner right? And she was confused like uhhhh okayyy... and idk what else happened but I guess she decided they would go do the food shopping since they were out, and she texted us hey what do you want to add to the grocery list? And steph was irritated that she didn't call us or something before heading to buy stuff... but we didn't call her... idk. Anyway steph's hubby was like ooh we could roast marshmallows? So steph suggested that.... obviously we did not do that, and maybe that request was also part of what annoyed oldest sister's husband??? idk. I'm just... anyway, so we moved into the kitchen to paint because it was getting cold outside, so we had taken over the kitchen table when they came back with the groceries, and steph was like '(oh shit), sorry yeah we took over haha' and we were about to clean up so we could start working on unpacking groceries and prepping to cook, when bro in law walks in and calls steph a moron. Possibly a fucking moron, idk. And she whips around and says in a 'I'm trying not to react' voice 'why am I a moron?' And I think he said something about it being the kitchen or something implying that his issue was that we had taken over the kitchen table. So I got mad, and on steph's defense, bc you don't walk in and insult somebody in front of me and get away with it. I yelled bc I do, that we had a right to take over the kitchen (after all, his videogames and my nephew's stuff had taken over the other 2 places we could have painted!) And I definitely also said I would bite him. I defend people I love with my teeth, sorry? (Tbh if someone else had said something shitty to HIM I would also threaten to bite that person. But I'm mad at him!)

And then he stormed off upstairs to their room in the hotel house, and steph turned on our other sister like. You let your husband talk to your sister that way??? And like he needed to apologize, and we had no clue what we'd done wrong, and she was just if you have a problem its between you and him and that she wouldnt fight with her husband... which incensed steph. (Very different from how mom and dad are, for example if dad says something that upsets me, for example, ma will scold him like thats not helpful, or comfort me, or at least react in some way. Idk). and I was like getting upset and I was angry so i went up to my room first, and grabbed my phone (and key i think? Maybe i didnt) and I went okay, time for a walk. I heard steph yelling so I went down and tried to convince steph to come with especially when nephew decided to butt himself in while steph was venting to her husband, bc i figured it would be easier for her to vent and rant and cry Outside rather than in the same house??? Anyway she shrugged me off and I got frustrated with nephew being like 'the kitchen thing isn't why he said that' but he didn't know or didn't explain why he thought his dad said it, and obvs steph did too, and I was about to cry so i was like nope I'm out and went for my walk. Wherein I cried and then called ma and cried in her ear/vented to her about it. And eventually after I calmed down and also found a handful of cool rocks, I went back. And I helped prep some things and helped figure out the grill and stuff.... mostly I didn't do anything super helpful I guess. I put the veggies on skewers with my nephew, I helped find dishes and utensils and was another set of hands for figuring out how to light the grill.

Eventually our parents came over and steph came down from her room and we had dinner which bro in law didn't come down to. I hope he ate something later...

[snapheart1536]

Bad Arguments

Elizabeth I

Girls Could Marry At Twelve

Freaks portray this wickedness as an oh-so noble concern for historical truth.

And YOU wouldn't object to Duh Twoof, would you now?

Oh! Ah! Well! It may seem like abuse to us But We Must Remember that Girls Could Marry At Twelve...

I love being implored to Remember the lies they've not told me yet.

Notice how it always begins with a feigned nod of empathy:

Hah! Yes! Of course. I hate it too. I really disapprove of This Sort Of Thing. Honest!

Before introducing the actual message:

But if you were A Reel Intelleckchul, like me, you would Understand that It Was Like That Then, and Perfectly Normal.

Besides the unsaid conclusion:

That means I'm right to blame Elizabeth.

The endless counter arguments to this have all been said before, and are near-enough a waste of words, for this isn't silly, muddle-headed ignorance but open malice, and agendas don't care about facts.

Because really, how would the customs governing matrimony apply to this situation?

Where does marriage figure in a middle-age man breaking into his stepdaughter's room to molest her?

Well here's the distraction technique:

Soon as we get to incestuous pædophilia, start wittering about wedlock and how it's ackshully alright to touch kids...in the time period, of course.

WHAT?!

If I believe Tudor society took a lax view of preying upon children, then by this very argument, that attitude could ONLY ever exist with regards to marriage.

They want me to accept Seymour Did Nothing Wrong, because his era allowed him to marry a girl of twelve.

This implies consummation followed immediately, although they never say as much, precisely as it is too big of a lie, hinting at it instead to let your subconscious join the dots.

BUT, if his entire defence is nothing better than blabbering about how he can sleep with a twelve‐year-old bride if he wants to, then he needed to marry Elizabeth beforehand for this to be alright.

But not only had Seymour not married her, he already had a wife, so his behaviour alone is a simply lovely mix of fornication, adultery AND incest.

And last time I looked, the Tudors came down hard on all three.

Oh yeah. They killed Anne and George for less. But ten years later? Totally normal!

I hate this Bad Argument with such deep, boiling fury I'm about to rip it apart, so no one ever can ever sew its tattered chunks together again.

It is absurd to the point of evil, as just think about what they are saying.

Seymour forces his way into Elizabeth's room to grope and spank her.

Me: That's abuse, that!

Them: Oh you thick, detestable pleb. Girls Could Marry At Twelve, doncha know.

As when Seymour molested Elizabeth, he wasn't really molesting her, because she was old enough to marry him.

And you can't sexually assault adults.

...

Once a gal can get married, it's every fella's sworn duty to come at her, for she wants 'em.

She wants 'em all.

She does, man! She's just being difficult!

You know how it goes:

6th September 1545: Little girl.

7th September 1545: WAHMAN!!!

Soon at that clock struck midnight, a switch flicked in Elizabeth's brain, and ever after she had a hunger...for MAN.

And Seymour just couldn't bear to see her hankering and not go providing like a true hero.

It would've been cruel NOT to do it.

Of age? Well say no more.

Come one, come all. Open for business.

And if she complains, well that's just playing hard to get, innit?

No escape now, love.

Legally capable of marriage? Well you want it whatever you say.

Stop struggling.

Same with Elizabeth. I mean, come on, Girls Could Marry At Twelve.

So obviously, if she hadn't really wanted it, she would've stayed eleven forever.

Is that so much to ask?

But oh no, she just so happened to have thirteen birthdays beforehand like a slut.

Ah-hah! Gotcha now! That little innocent routine don't fool me!

Then she has the nerve to play the victim as if it isn't all her fault for growing.

And then idiots blame Seymour for taking his rights when she made herself fully available by not dying in childhood, the selfish bitch.

Look at her, not being dead! Tempting him!

This Bad Argument is ONLY ever used by women to defend men attacking other women and girls, so please remember it's composed of three lies:

1. Seymour Did Nothing Wrong, because she was over twelve.

2. Elizabeth clearly loved every minute, because she was over twelve.

3. Sleeping with children was Perfectly Fine for most of human history and it's our prissy, overreacting modern hysteria about it that's the The Real Problem.

Why? Because if they can push you to accept it was normal then, it's the first step towards pushing you to accept it's normal now.

[shijiujun]

on the danmei twitter fight

okay guys i didn’t wanna say anything about this and yes it’s that hot danmei twitter translations saga thing that’s going on, because honestly i feel like there’s nothing much to say but when i see dumb posts on tumblr taking about that, by people who present a misleading hot take and their friends or moots run off with it without even knowing what exactly is going on - it really pisses me off.

and also if you shit talk translators for not continuing their translations or locking their translations whatever - the door is that way on your right and left, but anyway here’s a rundown on what happened because i am seeing people make comments without two brain cells put together, without the slightest bit of consideration for the people who bring them translations

here’s my hot take and thesis: if you enjoy english translations made by fan translators, you don’t, in any way, no matter happens, shit talk fan translators. fan translators do this for free, and whatever their intentions are, whether genuine sharing or like some of you like to say, for clout, if you consume, and you enjoy these translations, i’m sorry, you’re not uninvolved, and you don’t get to sit on a high horse and say translators should or shouldn’t do something. you should just keep quiet, honestly, because someone else is doing you a favour, a favour that you are enjoying and taking. that’s what respect is.

i’m presenting both sides or i guess three sides of the story as objectively as i can, altho my support is still for fan translators who were just minding their own business before this blew up.

===

🔺 what happened:

so it started because one of the bigger translators in the fandom did this poll - i’m not blaming her at all, i doubt she had any intentions of shaming anyone or causing any controversy and was plain curious, but her poll asked english speaking danmei twitter how many people buy the digital, print copies of the danmei they read, and who did not. 

in my honest opinion, it’s not strange at all for her to have created that poll, considering just how much work she’s put into making sure things are accessible for the eng-speaking danmei fandom. i mean i’d be curious too, to know out of my thousands of readers, what the reading and buying behaviour is like. do yourself a favour and don’t read too much into it.

obviously in an era where a lot of people do consume content for free whether the underlying content is profit-making (like anime, donghua, manhua, manga etc.) or not (fanfiction etc.), it was unsurprising to see that the last option - the ones who consume danmei without paying a single cent, came out as the majority. i don’t think this is a surprising result at all, for all sorts of reasons that i will not get into now.

anyway, this is obviously kind of a sore point in the fandom especially for translators who want a wider audience to support their fave author’s works - i won’t get into that for now, but the issue began because other translators or fans started to criticize the majority of people who don’t pay for objectively rather affordable danmei and just consume things for free. 

and yes, i don’t deny that the argument on both sides got really heated and emotionally charged with both sides calling each other names which i believe is uncalled for, but it totally derailed the crux of the issue, which basically is that the majority of english-speaking danmei fandom - consumes danmei for free.

anyway this whole thing escalated and fan translators were brought into this for no fucking reason at all except that the people who didn’t want, or were unable to pay for the danmei they usually consume, made what i call a LOGICAL FALLACY in argument by going to the extremes, i will explain why later.

the end result is that fan translators were brought into this (most of them, the bigger ones i know at least) without even participating in the direct crossfire. and obviously, you can see why they’re hurt and decided to lock their translations. let me explain why

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🔺 kind of like four camps:

(1) translators and fans who criticized those who consume danmei liberally but do not pay for them in any way - no merch, no digital copies, no physical copies, no audio dramas whatever

*** their arguments:

danmei is so cheap right, that technically people should be able to pay for it in one way or another, even if not all

danmei and its authors are, at the end of the day, out here to earn a living, and the industry, like any money-making industry, is a for-profit enterprise - and unlike public goods, if you cannot afford danmei, then there is no obligation for others to make it free for you (fan translators or otherwise, it wasn’t super clearly stated while this shitshow happened) when it is inherently a for-profit industry

yes, i don’t deny that some of them did call the peeps who don’t pay at all, “leeches” and other sort of names. personally, i wouldn’t go that far or even like venture there to be honest because in general, if it’s something that i’ll get punched in the face for if i called someone that in real life i tend not to do it, but i’ll leave my opinions, whatever they’re worth, for later

(2) the readers and fans of danmei who do not pay in any sort of way for them

*** their arguments:

some of them really cannot afford, even the dollar or more, to spend on danmei for several reasons: upbringing, culture, money-spending mindsets, real poverty, struggling to make ends meet etc. - some definitely more valid than others (and when i say not valid, it’s because SOME, a minority or like those few stragglers, say they cannot afford and then you see them like idk, throwing $50 on other merch on kpop and stuff - i’m just bringing up ONE example. not shaming anyone for spending more money on one aspect rather than the other, but yeah you can see why some of them, when making this same argument, are a little invalid, that’s just a small number of them tho)

if translators are blaming them for consuming free of charge, then the fault lies, at its foundation, fan translators who translate illegally, which i mean, in that definition, all of them including me 

did i mention that we were called illegal translators like you know in response to being called leeches? anyway-

(3) others translators who literally were just minding their own fucking business before some smart alec dragged them into it

i don’t think most of us had an argument. we were just quietly munching on popcorn and staying out of it and yeah, can you imagine, we provide a service, however illegal it is, for free on our own time, we don’t even check whether people support legally or not, we just... provide, and pray that those who are able to, at least support in some small way or another do so, on their own time. i mean i don’t check, most of us don’t, not the bouncers at your local club before COVID happened do, and then suddenly, to be used to derail an argument, we were called illegal translators. and that we should stop translating, and that it is our fault that there are free riders in the fandom

(4) people who offered to provide JJWXC credits to those who said they couldn’t afford it etc.

honestly i think they were just trying to help - no different than a gofundme. there’s no shame in taking a free thing that people already weren’t intending to pay for. it’s there, just take it!

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🔺 the shitshow that led to fan translators locking their stuff up:

i would provide some actual examples in the form of screenshots but i’ve blocked most of them, and i don’t want to direct any sort of traffic to them so i guess you’ll have to take my word on it or go search on twitter yourself but-

(1) the affordability issue: i can understand the frustration at being called leeches, and some if not a majority of people, do have valid reasons for not being able to afford something or anything and end up pirating content they enjoy. hey, i am not about to crucify anyone for pirating at some point in their lives. we all have done it at some point, or for example hate disney+ and that $30 they were trying to rip off us for a subpar Mulan live action. i don’t have anything to say about that. inherently, is it wrong and illegal? yeah sure of course it is. do we call people leeches? i wouldn’t go that far.

if anyone cannot afford, cannot access for whatever reason, fine, i’m not gonna go check if jjwxc truly is banned in your country, or is your postal service so terrible that you definitely won’t be able to receive a hard copy of the book you like at affordable rates.

and if you have to pirate? go ahead. i mean it’s always been a rampant thing. the only thing fan translators and fans can do is encourage, motivate and incentivise as much as possible to get people to support legally. they can only put up REALLY COMPREHENSIVE guides as to how to access jjwxc or taobao or whatever. 

and if you still cannot afford it and pirate, honestly no one cares about the story behind it. you owe no one justification, just as how no other person is obligated to take it into consideration or understand you or empathize with you. i don’t say this in a malicious way - i do think that in general, you just do you. 

(2) the poor people don’t deserve nice things argument: honestly, this was not the point of this entire debacle, altho yes, people were rude to those who could not afford to support legally. but this is not the point of this whole thing.

main point - there are free riders who can support but choose not to because they choose to just consume it for free and if you are able to you should support

everyone going off on a tangent - you guys hate poor people / you guys are leeches

well guess what, no one wins in this argument. 

there were a lot of people saying “reading danmei is our only source of happiness, are you saying poor people who can’t access legally don’t deserve to read danmei” (this is just one example i’ve seen, there are other variations), and it wasn’t put across perhaps in the right way, but the other camp of people were saying “you’re not entitled to it for free if you cannot afford it”, which raised a lot of hackles and anti-poor yellings 

altho i do not deny that there are those who mean it maliciously, i think what everyone is trying to say is - the danmei industry, like any other profit-making industry, is looking to make profits. the people working in the industry, the authors even, are looking at numbers - traffic to jjwxc or other legal platforms, how much revenue they’re making from their live actions etc., comments, rankings, etc. i think @/hunxi-after-hours made a really succinct post on this aspect which yall should read.

it’s the same as - if you wanted to purchase a standee which costs $20 USD, but you cannot afford it = you don’t get it. there’s no way you can get this standee unless some gifts it to you for free. what the camp trying to ask people to support legally is saying, is that danmei is NOT A PUBLIC GOOD. it is a private, for-profit product. it might be intangible, but it is a PRODUCT that has a price that needs to be paid.

if you cannot afford it, you either don’t get access entirely (i’m saying this objectively and honestly from an economic standpoint). if someone gifts that standee to you for free, count yourself lucky - if someone makes a danmei accessible to you for free, COUNT YOURSELF LUCKY. you don’t have to be grateful and treat them as gods or like obey their every word, but it’s not rocket science. someone did you a favour that you accepted and consumed, show some respect. 

if you cannot afford to buy the standee - you do not go on twitter demanding that someone ensures that you have access to the standee for free. do you see how ridiculous this sounds once it’s a tangible product? and danmei novels ARE PRODUCTS. they are not FREE CONTENT. if someone cannot afford the standee, this is the equivalent of people going “we didn’t get the standee for free because poor people don’t deserve nice things”

totally missing the point. i don’t even know how it got to this. once again, i do admit that some users were unnecessarily mean, but going to the extreme of this is ridiculous. in argumentative essay writing we call this a logical fallacy:

e.g. “if you cannot pay for merchandise or danmei, it is a fact that you might not have access to it” morphing into “if we cannot pay for food, does this mean we cannot have access to it?!” - this is a slippery slope, and factors are not equivalent!!!! do they not teach people anything in school

don’t confuse fanfiction with danmei - danmei novels ARE PAID PRODUCTS unless for free chapters, just because it’s released online doesn’t mean it’s free public property, and also selected novels (did you guys know the WHOLE of SCI novel is free? about 500 chapters sorry, random, just a tidbit)

there are of course nuances right, like if anyone told me they were pirating disney+ content i’d be like yeah hey get one over those bloodsuckers, they take enough of our money and produce shit content anyway. the difference is that danmei authors, and the danmei industry itself can still be considered a nascent and not-yet matured industry, with a majority of authors if not all, depending on monetary flow, likes, comments, virality on the sites their content is hosted on, for a living, unlike hugeass MNCs trying to squeeze us dry for content that isn’t even interesting.

danmei is priced rather reasonably - and this brings me to another argument that was made, that the value of money is not the same for everyone. i don’t want to make comments on this because yes this is correct to a large extent. a $6 book might be cheap to most of us, but might be expensive to someone else. i’m not gonna comment on how cheap or whatever it is, if you gotta use your money for other things, definitely! i still maintain however, that a novel less than a dollar should be affordable to most people, a majority of people. and i definitely side eye some users who obviously have money but are just creating noise because they wanna continue free-riding

(4) the “they’re losing out on their international audience” argument: honestly, i feel like english-speaking danmei fandom gives themselves a bit too much credit. danmei has long thrived in china in its domestic market - sure the international audience is a plus to have and i’m sure the authors are grateful and flattered that people who don’t understand chinese love their content and love it a lot, but do they and their companies care about fans who basically don’t bring in money? i’m not sure (okay i’ll get to the fan translators doing illegal shit later okay i got it don’t be impatient)

and international fans are great, i don’t deny that - but when i see arguments like “oh but it’s their loss if they don’t cater or deny access to us, they get more popularity and sharing overseas”, i honestly think they don’t care as much as you think. once again, hunxi made a really good argument regarding non-sinophone audiences, but it really irks me, because this is the same as:

an instagram influencer saying they’ll give a restaurant exposure for free to their followers, if they get a free meal

it’s par for par - danmei authors wants earnings, popularity, tangible results that show that they are succeeding. this is life. if i put something out there for sale, i better be getting returns, simple economic logic. they probably don’t care that a non-paying reader is bringing them greater ‘exposure’ - once again, i mean this objectively. 

and yes if they’re thriving without the international market then why should it matter that people are pirating right? which brings me to the next point~

(5) it’s fan translators faults for so many people pirating, and fan translators are the ones doing the “illegal” work: this one is like... wow where do i unpack this and how-

firstly, we are talking about assholes who can pay but decide to free ride and not pay for danmei, and we assume that if you really cannot afford and have to pirate, no one’s saying anything as long as you don’t go around spreading how to pirate, how the hell did it get to fan translators from “you guys are anti-poor” and whatever

yes, fan translations are indeed illegal, i don’t deny that, and i also don’t deny that there are translators who translate for clout and popularity but putting these aside - here’s what i have seen from people who ran their mouths and made this argument

“if you guys care about us pirating the book so much than fan translators shouldn’t have translated in the first place” and “if you wanna come after us for reading illegally, then fan translators, you guys should go get the copyright for the book and then translate it cuz what you guys are doing is also illegal”

hooooo i’m telling ya, i am all for translators locking up their translations at this point. see how fucking hurtful that is? you eat from my hand and then now you biting at the hand that fed you the gays in love?

honestly if you’ve made this argument or supported this, you can basically go to hell. yes this is personal because what, you think fan translators don’t take out their personal time and effort and hard work to make translations accessible to you? if you’re ever consumed and read translations, don’t be a hypocrite and make this argument. you benefitted from it, now you wanna say it’s their fault? 

most translators want to share and spread the love they have for a novel right, want to show you how wonderful all these authors are, how much enjoyment u get from reading these wonderfully thought out stories of gays in love. yes we all know we are illegally translating, which is why on top of sharing we first, purchase the novels legally ourselves first, and then we try to encourage people to buy etc. and actually put their money to use. it doesn’t make it any less illegal, but we are bridging the gap between danmei and basically the english-speaking fandom, albeit illegally

we aren’t that self-important to ask for gratefulness but some respect would be nice. like i said, you read it, you consumed it, you enjoyed it, you can only access it because of illegal translators - a bit counter-intuitive to yell at these translators, who are simply telling you, if you can, please support. and none of us went “if you cannot afford, begone!”

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🔺 some people tried to help by offering jjwxc credits so people who cannot afford as they say, can get legal access: honestly, just take it right, guess what some of these users did in response

they said the people giving away credits are trying to redeem themselves for their comments by giving away free stuff

they also said that we are trying to shame the people who cannot afford it with this handout to them, to show that they are the bigger person - the fact that they think this is a handout to them is TELLING. the people offering this is giving their money not to these readers, but to the authors! that’s the point of this exercise!!!

one of them even said “instead of trying to do these giveaways, here, there are greater world problems out there, donate instead to these causes” - love the initiative, but how did we get from being able to afford danmei and entertainment content to saving the world? i just- i cannot

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🔺 so why i get why fan translators are locking up their translations, because wow, so hurtful:

you have no idea how many fucking assholes went “sure, lock up your translations, deal with the consequences” - ermmmm firstly, thanks for making a threat. like who the fuck do you think you are?

the consequences is... the authors still don’t get the money these free riders weren’t going to give them anyway, so no loss, and they weren’t reading on jjwxc anyway so you know, the authors don’t lose or gain any readership numbers or traffic they didn’t already have. instead, it WILL push and force people to pay for the PRODUCT. once again, it’s a product.

this works, and i’d say Word of Honor’s payment model worked marvellously for Youku, because they fucking forced everyone to pay to access content. ALL OF THEM. sure ok some people still pirated it, but how many MORE people paid on Youku, on Youku Youtube, watched on Viki etc. than if they didn’t? even english-speaking fandom were wracking their brains trying to purchase a Youku pass even if there were no subs initially - and other examples that lovely hunxi brought up in her amazing piece

and for translators?! honestly me for one, i’m glad i don’t feel pressured anymore to churn out a chapter every week since we get called names etc. most of us are glad to have a break to be honest. we’ve lost all motivation to translate because it’s a free service, at the very least we don’t expect like hate, or rudeass fuckers. for those who are doing a proof of purchase thing - go for it honestly! 

hopefully it’ll minimize the free rider problem - some people for whatever reasons really cannot buy or support legally, that’s totally cool and they don’t have to justify it, i get that. but for others making the same argument but obviously are just unwilling to pay because they can’t read chinese, think it’s too troublesome when there are guides and translators provide it for free anyway so what’s the point - we all make concessions and make decisions to grab what we like (not talking about the ppl who have their various troubles and difficulties!)

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🔺 and those who are saying why is it the ‘rest of us suffer’ from locked translations just because of a few bad apples:

IT ISN’T ABOUT YOU. where the hell were all of ya when we were getting called illegal huh? it’s about us fan translators getting shot at for no reason, and then people still demanding things for free. i don’t see any of the people i’ve seen on tumblr complain about fan translators stopping or locking translations defend any of us in any way. instead, you’re complaining.

it is the translator’s prerogative to start, stop and end translations, unless of course the original author starts to sue i suppose. i see people on tumblr going like if they were gonna do this, they shouldn’t have started in the first place etc. - i don’t what world you live in, but when i do something for free, then get called names and am attacked or get dictated on how i should do something that’s already like free, i tend to be less generous.

i’m sorry, do us illegal and free translators owe ANY OF YOU? i wasn’t aware any of us were being paid for this hobby. readers, especially those who CAN and just refuse to support, don’t get to say SHIT. translators deal with so much shit and so many entitled readers, i say they get to lock whatever they want as long as they aren’t profiting off of this monetarily.

let me give you an example - nan chan, which is translated by lian yin, completed translations by the way for all chapters. it is all free for viewing, and she only locked up one extra and asked for proof of payment. some dumbfuck quotes that locked up extra chapter tweet and said “honestly, this turned me off reading this novel because they restricted access”.

the. fucking. entitlement. the whole of nan chan is free, that’s like what more than 80 chapters. she locked up the EXTRA and the money goes to the author, she doesn’t earn anything. AND HERE THAT BIJ is (yes, i’m going to call them names because you know, fucking asshole who didn’t bother to check) going “yeah i didn’t wanna read because 1/80+ chapters were locked”. 

AN EXTRA. LITERALLY AN EXTRA!!!!!!

at the end of the day, translators are not like DYING to translate, not like some of you are DYING to read the translations. once again, this isn’t a “BE GRATEFUL” message, it’s a please be respectful to the people who put in time and hard work for free and share the goodness ya know? what’s the use of yelling at fan translators as if we owe you anything?

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🔴🔴🔴 TOO LONG DIDN’T READ 🔴🔴🔴

some people may need really need to pirate - and no one needs to justify why they cannot afford to purchase etc. pirating happens all the time, translators only hope that when you can, and in whatever way you can, to support legally - in general we don’t ask and we get it! we’re just annoyed that some people think that it SHOULD BE FREE, when it is a paid product, especially for those who CAN afford it

readers are not entitled to shit on translators for what they do with their translations - once again, you’re not OBLIGATED to have it. so what if i start and stop? i’m the one doing the work, i get the only say. don’t be a hypocrite and shit on translators, whose works you’ve read - it’s no loss for translators, we read and enjoy danmei just fine

yes, fan translations are illegal, but you can’t read and enjoy them like some of you have, and then turn around and point the finger at translators - a lot of us are happy to stop translating - this isn’t a threat, but at the end of the day, shitting on translators simply decreases access, and sure, some people can indeed live with you know, MTL or shitty translations from people who’ve learnt chinese for only six months or whatever, but you’re gonna be reading an entirely different book tbh

the people saying illegal translators are at fault - funnily enough, most of them consume the translations, so what the fuck? i mean we know it’s illegal, we’re trying to share the love and trying to minimize the illegalities of it by redirecting people to hopefully support legally. it’s still illegal yes, but i think it’s hypocritical for people who have read translations, stab translators in the back. and now that translators are indeed ‘restricting’ and ‘removing’ their ‘illegal translations’, yall yelling again? and threatening?

fan translators aren’t “elitist” or “classist” - just looking for some respect in a community which seems to have taken them for granted, and also looking for support for their fave authors - and honestly a lot of us were caught in the crossfires truly, don’t be an asshole and demand things from fan translators - who are you talking about? do you know why they decided to lock? do you know know what their locking system is like and what for? 

it’s not EASY to lock the translations up - it’s more admin work, it’s putting together a whitelist of people, if given the choice i’m sure translators would prefer to share everything. but not when there are assholes who have a comment on how they should translate etc. and yeah!!! calling us illegal!! i mean we are but still!!

the last straw was seeing that post on tumblr and people in the comments going like fan translators shouldn’t or should do something, without getting the whole picture, without even considering how hard it is for fan translators being caught in this situation. 

whoever puts in the work gets to decide, and everyone else should leave them alone. 

be nice to the people who really cannot afford as they say so (or just don’t think about it), be nice to the translators feeding you content, and the people who free ride and shit on translators - honestly, i’d say ready the pitchforks.

edit: i forgot to mention this is my hot take and i’ve tried to like present all the arguments i’ve seen so far. i’m definitely not doing all of it justice and i don’t claim to speak on behalf of any of them except maybe one or two- and i’ve definitely left out stuff, but anyway, lmao we’re just tiny people doing what we love. i wish we could solve you know inequality or poverty or hunger or other pressing concerns. if i was that great i wouldn’t be stuck on tumblr or twitter or have to make posts like these like a loser.

thanks for coming to my ted talk.