#walking in and calling her a moron unwarranted and without explanation was uncalled for

[audiovisualrecall]

Yesterday I was trying to find out from our older sister if she was still cool with the plan to grill for dinner, and also I wanted to ask if our parents were interested in coming or not/if they had other plans for dinner (we already ate 2 dinners at their place, so). So I sent a group text. And our sister didn't reply. But our parents did, and firstly I had a typo so they were confused, and so we said oh we were thinking of grilling. So then ma called steph and basically they were interested. But none of us ever typed that out in the group chat or thought to try calling our older sister, who was out fishing.... well me and steph and her hubby (and then just us 2 after his sunburn started to be an issue again) went and did our own things and we went and started painting - we were figuring we would eventually hear from oldest sister and discuss who was going to go food shop or whatever...yes we should have called, idk I don't usually think to call people, and I thought the group chat had the info but idk it just. Anyway we had a failure to communicate, obviously, and that is really my fault, bc I'm the one who invited our parents and I should have thought oh oldest sister didn't reply to the text, let's call her. But we were kind of annoyed at the lack of reply? I guess or at least steph was annoyed/assumed that oldest sister just doesnt like her and thats why there was no reply, and I allowed that to color my choices and also allowed adhd brain to forget about like, the passage of time and that I should act on my own planning? And well, she was fishing, so she didnt see the texts till later. And when they were done fishing my dad called her and was like hey so we're coming for dinner right? And she was confused like uhhhh okayyy... and idk what else happened but I guess she decided they would go do the food shopping since they were out, and she texted us hey what do you want to add to the grocery list? And steph was irritated that she didn't call us or something before heading to buy stuff... but we didn't call her... idk. Anyway steph's hubby was like ooh we could roast marshmallows? So steph suggested that.... obviously we did not do that, and maybe that request was also part of what annoyed oldest sister's husband??? idk. I'm just... anyway, so we moved into the kitchen to paint because it was getting cold outside, so we had taken over the kitchen table when they came back with the groceries, and steph was like '(oh shit), sorry yeah we took over haha' and we were about to clean up so we could start working on unpacking groceries and prepping to cook, when bro in law walks in and calls steph a moron. Possibly a fucking moron, idk. And she whips around and says in a 'I'm trying not to react' voice 'why am I a moron?' And I think he said something about it being the kitchen or something implying that his issue was that we had taken over the kitchen table. So I got mad, and on steph's defense, bc you don't walk in and insult somebody in front of me and get away with it. I yelled bc I do, that we had a right to take over the kitchen (after all, his videogames and my nephew's stuff had taken over the other 2 places we could have painted!) And I definitely also said I would bite him. I defend people I love with my teeth, sorry? (Tbh if someone else had said something shitty to HIM I would also threaten to bite that person. But I'm mad at him!)

And then he stormed off upstairs to their room in the hotel house, and steph turned on our other sister like. You let your husband talk to your sister that way??? And like he needed to apologize, and we had no clue what we'd done wrong, and she was just if you have a problem its between you and him and that she wouldnt fight with her husband... which incensed steph. (Very different from how mom and dad are, for example if dad says something that upsets me, for example, ma will scold him like thats not helpful, or comfort me, or at least react in some way. Idk). and I was like getting upset and I was angry so i went up to my room first, and grabbed my phone (and key i think? Maybe i didnt) and I went okay, time for a walk. I heard steph yelling so I went down and tried to convince steph to come with especially when nephew decided to butt himself in while steph was venting to her husband, bc i figured it would be easier for her to vent and rant and cry Outside rather than in the same house??? Anyway she shrugged me off and I got frustrated with nephew being like 'the kitchen thing isn't why he said that' but he didn't know or didn't explain why he thought his dad said it, and obvs steph did too, and I was about to cry so i was like nope I'm out and went for my walk. Wherein I cried and then called ma and cried in her ear/vented to her about it. And eventually after I calmed down and also found a handful of cool rocks, I went back. And I helped prep some things and helped figure out the grill and stuff.... mostly I didn't do anything super helpful I guess. I put the veggies on skewers with my nephew, I helped find dishes and utensils and was another set of hands for figuring out how to light the grill.

Eventually our parents came over and steph came down from her room and we had dinner which bro in law didn't come down to. I hope he ate something later...