#and its like i get it i mean i am a 150 pages in and we are just beginning the actual story but my god do you know how many unfinished

[imustbenuts]

nuts reading trigun in japanese 6 - kaite's foreshadowing. plant synchronization's downside

remember in my part 3 and 5 i was talking about hierarchy? surprisingly, it continues past chapter 8 with kaite. and wolfwood. triangulating nyoom

(to be honest... ive been doing these read and analysis completely blind in a 1st JP read through. so its possible ill find new nuances, get things wrong as the context shifts and changes, so my stuff looks like its scattered all over the place. sorry about that.)

i think ill start explaining names and meanings. kaite's name in japanese is kaito. カイト. this can be a homonym with i think 怪盗 (kaitou) in this case, which means phantom thief. for trying to help Neon with stealing loot from the Stand Steamer.

left bubble next to neon: 道案内は的確だったかね！？ I trust your guide has been giving you clear instructions?

^the headaches with manga translations has always been to keep texts short and reasonable for flow and readability, so these simplifications can and sometimes must happen.

but, add dakutens, the " on 2 of those カイト katakanas and suddenly, kaito turns into. ガイド gaido. Guide.

so Kaite has been playing as a guide to lead vash to his death at the hands of Neon. this page is such a fucking whammy with the wordplay going on. if you just read this in japanese theres a moment of "oh shit, no way, Kaite, vash just told you to stop betraying people! what the hell!"

yet theres a level of trust going on already, so its not as bad as it seems

nightow really likes his worldplay. i really like this page.

kaite redeems himself by later charging into the boiler room and helps turn the valve to stop the sand steamer from running off cliff and killing everyone on board....

hm. a guide. and those sequences

we sure have a lot of guides here. one who appears in the manga later with a kansai dialect. and another in TriStamp, where he is younger than he appears.

when i spoke about hierarchy and the fact that vash is over 150, i was also kind of hinting that all of current humanity are akin to children in the system of JP hierarchy. that takes on extra meaning with a little change of context and language

wolfwood is filling in the shoes of kaito here in tristamp. and within trimax, kaito foreshadows him. incredible.

theres actually more going on with wolfwood and certain design/changes choices i wanna talk about with tristamp but ill save it for another day. maybe when i run into him in this read later

Plant Synchronization downside.

....so theres a bad downside to vash synchronizing with the plant that i didn't catch. which also answers what the fuck was going on in tristamp when that version of him hits the ground

nightow mentions this in an interview, link here posted and transcribed by xoxo-otome (thank you!) that he likes action flicks and has incorporated a lot of action into his work. and its true. there is so much action in the form of sound effects.

reading through the entire manga and paying attention to the sfx peppered around offers a lot more context to whats happening in half of the panels that seemingly doesnt make sense

like this one where the top panel has "DADADADADA" sfx. so they're stomping down the corridor with their guns crossed and facing each other. the "GO OH" in the bottom panel emphasizes the sudden burst into open air. unfortunately, anyone who values their life and sanity in this economy will not want to translate trigun's sfxs 100%.

i should have paid more attention when reading trigun in english. but i didn't so here i am. in the trigunbookclub tag now doing this.

why is it important? here. this. below. when vash does his plant thing with his sister:

see those heart panels? i tried searching real quick but nobody seems to have pointed this out. i havent seen this in EN fanfics. maybe i missed it. maybe im stupid:

thats Dokun, the sound effect of a heart thumping. as vash synchronizes, the heart panels with the same sound effect appear, but they gradually split apart further with ellipses "..." to signify his heart beat slowing down. and down. and down....

Dokun, do kun, do... kun....

then the wings comes out. and the panel below it:

sfx: PIIIIIIIIIII

breathes. a FLAT LINE.

aaaaaaAA?!

何かなんだかわかりません I'm not sure what's going on. とにかくプラントの動きは一切止まっています But the Plant's movement has completely stopped. 同時に男にも呼吸　心音ともに停止してます It's the same with that man. His breathing and heartbeat sounds like it's stopped with the plant too.

AAAAA?!!?! the も means vash is in the same state as the plant?

i.... um. um.,, ANYWAY-

AAAAAAAAAAAA?! HUH?! HUH??? HUH?!

is THIS why he has a metal grate over his heart? something happened and he an an operation on his heart???? by some engineer maybe? what? huh? am i reading this wrong? what? wait, hello? HEY!!!

what the fuck. okAY--?!

and then he just. pretends like nothing's happened. doesnt tell kaito anything. and he leaves the Sand Steamer.

and im going to have to sleep bc its 5 am now and pretend like i didnt just realize something this big right in front of my eyes during the first read.

[a-dash-in-the-middle]

i love my epic fantasies but WHYYY WHYY MUST ALL OF YOU BE TOMES TRYLOGIES AT SHORTEST

[sgiandubh]

I’m reading the new Clanlands book. I was hoping it would be a fun read like the first one, no narrative. I’ve now read two different passages in the book where Sam talks about running into a woman he finds attractive whether it’s a hotel patron, hotel staff, or shop worker, including this passage about Valentines Day. He hoped to ask the woman making his smoothie on a date and instead ended up alone in his hotel room on Valentine’s Day dreaming about a romantic night in his hotel room with the fantasy date that never came to fruition.

I wish for once we shippers could get a win instead of taking one step forward and two steps back if you know what I mean. It’s hard to hold out hope of Sam and Cait ever coming out publicly when there’s interviews and books filled with the narrative.

Dear Valentine's Day Anon,

You start with a lie. You are not reading that book. You have read someone else's (dutiful Marple, as always, all hands on deck) choice of salacious/commercial/crappy sentimental passages of a 150 to 200 pages book chock-a-block full with other things. You, therefore, have an F- from me for laziness and naïveté. When you speak about a text, any text (and this, Anon, scarcely is literature), please be honest with yourself and wait until the end. The same way you should never judge a book by its cover, do not judge a book by some excerpts someone picked up in order to show you how desperate the author is to sell it.

Reading is a personal affair. Buy the book. Read it all. And then you'll be qualified to have a grounded opinion. I am not in a hurry to read it and I certainly had no hopes he would give us a single ounce of his reality or truth in a commercial companion to a TV show, as this book clearly is.

Then, there's also that: it is a ghostwritten book and not a very good one. Travel books are also always rife with false self-references and I hope, for one, you do not believe there is anything remotely objective in Marco Polo's Book of the Marvels of the World (some say he never got where he told all the Western World he did!). And if Marco Polo himself lied shamelessly, why wouldn't SRH do exactly the same, for the needs of a scantily cobbled show where he is playing the decoratively fit clown along his older, wiser, nerdy companion?

I was shown the reactions to those dutifully poisonous posts. A mob, cackling and the host gleefully throwing gasoline on that fire (but oh, no: she is not a hater - my foot she isn't). The only comment that truly broke my heart, Anon, is this one:

What a terrible person must the woman who wrote that be! What a horrible, empty life she must have! Please, for the name of everything holy, leave Chrissie Heughan out of your putrid pettiness! She raised her boys by herself and with very little. Whoever wrote this comment should really, really be ashamed of herself. She can even say whatever she wants about SRH, but she should leave his family out of her hatred. Not a single woman in that thread corrected or challenged her. Not. A. Single. One.

You also tell me you are tired with the tango. I also think no real shipper could fall, by now, for these tired tricks. And if you do believe the interviews and books more than they should be, you are the perfect fodder for those interviews and books that can and should be questioned, as anything else in this strange story is critically questioned every single day.

So you see, Anon, I will perhaps be interested in your grounded opinion the day you will come back after reading the whole book, not Marple's Reader Digest version. If anything, your uninformed, gluttonous curiosity backfired. Unless you came here to spread the holy shite on this doorknob, too. But that is your problem, Anon. Not mine.

[consistentsquash]

SEXPOSITION!!!! :D @danpuff-ao3!!!!

Sorry not sorry about the capitals screaming because this stuff is lit. It's 630 pages single bookbinding!!!! OMG. Danni really said go big or go home!!

Original rec list on Tumblr - The goal of this list was to rec Snarry fics great about using sex for exposition with a huge dick to word count ratio. The Big Dick Energy of these fics are totally 110% matched by the Big Dick Energy of the bookbinding Danni did :D Also I probably am the luckiest reccer and maybe one of the top 1% (suck on that Bernie!!!) because Danni bound my rec list and whoa total honor :D :D Better than getting into Library of Congress :D

lots and lots after the cut :D :D it took me forever because my roof was like 50% roof and needed to fix that but pic time now :D :D

Ok, this book is from Busy Bee Book Bindery! It's got the coolest seal ever :D :D Also look at the special guy on the right :D we are flying :D

Also from the side

Also check out The Table of Contents!!!

1. Entwined by rexluscus

Danni picked the perfect symbol for this fic. It's dirtyhotbadwrong and its really really codependency :D

2. Pink Slip by Cluegirl

To be honest the corset is the One Image which just stays in my brain forever about the fic. I mean Voldemort one and the Order folks are now "fosterlings" and things are really dirtybadhotwrong but the corset imagery lives in my head rentfree :D Danni really got that one right :D :D

3. made to be broken by @theshopislocal

Really love the feather/light/vulnerability vibes of the symbol. It totally matches the beautiful fic with vulnerable Snape written in classic Snarry slash vibes.

4. Warm by @perverse-idyll

Warm :D Total vibe match for the PWP established relationship comfort read vibes of the fic. Because this is the Snarry PWP and established relationship fic as far as I am concerned :D

5. Green Grow the Rushes, O by eldritcher

I mean this one really is the perfect symbol again :D Harry has a jackal's head like Anubis because he is that good bad at Animagus stuff. The Snarry bestiality fic/creature fic as far as I am concerned :D

6. The Unforgivables by Dementor Delta and Cruise Director

I love love love the super direct symbolism of the wand in this fic :D It's just like Harry :D Kind of Slytherin and sneaky, kind of Gryffindor and risktaking :D Also lots of dumb luck and it works out :D

7. No Sex, No Galleons by Ziasudra

I mean literally nobody is paying Snape a ton of Galleons for his services :D Bad joke but I really love the symbolism of that for the fic which has a ton of characterization and dynamics around the concept of worth <3

8. Contempt by @danpuff-ao3

The most Snarry fic of 2020s for me <3 I am pretty much totally burned on Snarry because I feel satisfied and a big reason for that is Contempt. It was so brilliant, perfect and I don't really feel like reading new Snarry at the moment :D Also a perfect image for the fic. Innocence, guilt, beauty, ugliness, imperfection, flaws, penetration lots and lots of symbolism in that <3

9. Mostly Harmless by EmilyWaters1976

The imagery of the manacle is super on point for this fic which is dark, dubcon bittersweet with a happy ending :D

10. Death and the Open Mind by Loup Garou.

The final fic is super long at like 43000 words. I mean!!! That's like 150 pages!! 150 pages!! Danni is insane and brilliant. I really love the skull rose imagery which is perfect for the fic which is dark, dirtybadhotwrong and really really beautiful.

Also the intro :D

Also one of my fav parts from Contempt

Going to bed with Severus — to actually sleep — is Harry's favorite part. It's a bit awkward because they haven't discussed it, but Severus doesn't dissuade Harry from following him. The bed is lumpy and creaky and small. Severus is too bony to be a comfortable bedmate. Harry latches onto him all the same.

Also one of my fav parts from Warm

It was everything Harry wanted. It was the sort of sex he'd thought he could never have, and it made him so giddy he almost laughed out loud.

Also one of my fav parts from Green Grow the Rushes, O.

He has done his best to ward the boy in. He has done his best to follow the boy. But the boy is no longer a boy. With Minerva's voice, with a jackal's head, with skulls on his torso dying off one-by-one, he is godly and bestial, of no father's seed, of no mother's make.

Also of course back of the book

Also This got here by OWL POST

[dontrunmyplates]

𝙄 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙠, 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙚 𝙄 𝙖𝙢 - Rene Descartes Philosophy ·˚ ༘

𝙏𝙖𝙗𝙡𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝘾𝙤𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙨 ☄. *. ⋆

DNI crit

About me

Weight Goals

Weight Logs

𝘋𝘕𝘐 𝘊𝘳𝘪𝘵 ﹒⪩⪨﹒

Basic shit like terfs, homophobes, bigots etc just do not fuck with me i do not LIKE you and I do not want anything to do with you. If you actively support corporate joints like Chik fil a, mcdonalds, starbucks and others that have shown active support in the loss of rights and literal lives, as such in palestine, get the fuck off my page.

I understand that when people are dealing with 34ting disorders, dysmorphia and extremism are a huge problem that comes into play, but I am uncomfortable interacting with people who post about pxrging habits because of a vomiting phobia. Id rather not see that personally.

You do not have a place on my blog if you are pro4n4 / pro3d. I support recovery HEAVILY, i am just not ready for it myself. I do not fuck w/ people who try and police other peoples disorders and how they go about them. Somebody having different criteria than you regarding their experiences and disorder does not mean they arent disordered, get over it.

About me ♡ (in progress)

• HW : 255

• LW : ???

• CW : 199.8

• GW : 120

• UGW : 105

BMR 1750

Caloric intake 1290 (cal deficit ♡)

Meta day every friday

Weigh in every friday morning

Step goal 6k

UGW 105

Current GW is 180 by Nov 12th

My goal is to burn approx 350-500 calories five days a week, primarily through brisk walking, due to the elevated heart rate it is a cardio exercise.

Hi ! My name is Calico, I have 4n4 and a few other disorders linked with possible audhd. I am an 18 yr old Enby, my pronouns are They/he.

My weight fluctuated heavily after a series of events during and post pandemic, and due to depression medication I ended up gaining, followed by the development of my 3D. I am here to log my activity and progress within a safe space :].

Weight goals ♡ (in progress)

I wanna get my belly button pierced ♡

Id be much more attractive if I were thinner

Won't take up so much space

Fucking spite

Cute in every fit

Looking good even in rogue pics

Smaller chest !!

Pretty thin boy with long long hair aesthetic will be me just you watch

To look appealing to my partner ♡

Collarbones must I say more

Small itty bitty clothes

Thin wrists that can be grabbed

Dainty n lil fr

Dainty masc edition !!!!

Thighs my partner can grab with ease ♡♡

Little waist

Wanna feel delicate for him soobad its insane

230 . ▪︎ * ✅️

225 . ▪︎ * ✅️

220 . ▪︎ * ✅️

215 . ▪︎ * ✅️

210 . ▪︎ * ✅️

205 . ▪︎ * ✅️

200 . ▪︎ * ✅️

195 . ▪︎ * ✅️

190 ...

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[storyofmychoices]

Blades 2 Inside Choices Blog: Blades of Light and Shadow 2

We’re so happy to be back in action with the gang we know and love! Where does Blades of Light and Shadow 2 pick up after the first book’s ending?

Emi: I will say that we don't pick up where you're expecting. 

Kathleen: Unless you were expecting to get hucked out the back of the plot truck and onto the action highway at 80mph. (Fury Road theme plays)

Lil: (is overtaken by the Two Towers theme)

Emi: But rest assured, our original four love interests are back and dealing with their own challenges. 

Lil: And they’re definitely going to need help with those challenges whether you’re romancing them or not. Though we support all variations of ‘mancers here. Mono-, multi-, and necro- . 

Emi: Also they get some new looks that can best be described as "sleeves are B.S."

Jay: Don’t forget “badass pirate coat important”.

What kind of new main characters will we meet in the sequel? Or perhaps, any new love interests?

Jay: There is a strange but familiar hooded figure…whose hotness level was of great discussion.

Lil: He’s very constructive with his feedback. And a monster from Book 1 returns, but not in a way you expect. 

Emi: I think we all know I'm obsessed with Valax. I mean, she's a badass purple lady who only has one sleeve. Obviously that makes her my wife.

Tom: EMI YOU HAVE TOO MANY WIVES!!!

Kathleen: Idk I'm still mad that hot scorpion lady didn't win the monster contest.

Lil: Sky whale supremacy how dare. 

Kathleen: Okay I am excited about the dwarves and goblins though. New dwarf friend is just A+ chaos babe and I love her.

Emi: Honestly though, my fave character is the one who's "head empty, no thoughts, falls over a lot."

Making this sequel has been a labor of love. Does the book team have any must-tell stories/bloopers during production?

Jay: There was an accidental floating dwarf? And too many battles with code. Writers, please don’t do it to me again. I cannot take it. The while loop will win.

Kathleen: During one of my editorial passes I had to give Emi a note like "Okay when we first meet the Big Bad maybe we should use that moment to establish that she's really imposing/scary instead of just going off about how hot she is."

Emi: I may have made too many Aerin memes that are now weekly traditions for our team.

Danielle: I was instructed to design a character with “Vision as a hotness bar” as a guide, I ignored them and used Jeff Bridges instead 😏. 

Jay: Danielle also came up with some incredible filenames, my favorite being “tentacle_monster_buff”.

Danielle: It’s accurate, is it not?

Are there any elements that you are particularly proud of?

Tom: The Shadow Realm was fun to make! Think the Upside Down, but more purple. And to make all the awesome new weapons and armor work with the outfits took 150 unique assets! You’re welcome.

Danielle: My first full book!

Lil: The lore guide for Blades was 60 single-spaced pages before we started adding things that came up during active production. I’m really pleased with how much actually ended up being discoverable in the book itself, so be sure to explore every nook and cranny of Morella and beyond! Because they are filled with beauty and chaos. 

Emi: I cannot tell you how many spreadsheets we made to keep track of things. I mean, the outline alone was 100 pages!

Jay: My code built 😭. And that my production planning got it to you a little earlier than y’all had anticipated hehe.

At the end of the first book, we seemed to have wiped out the forces of evil for at least a day or so. What kind of dangers will we face in the second edition?

Lil: Evil never sleeps y’all. It gets its coffee from Aerin. 

Kathleen: (Aerin, walking up to the counter): "I have a large non-fat birthday cake latte with caramel drizzle and four shots of espresso for (squints at label) ...Emile?"

Lil: In all seriousness, you’re really getting it from all sides in this book. There’s rival factions, shifting leadership, societal upheaval, and monsters. So. Many. Monsters. (Thank you for giving us the Shadestalker, by the way. Can’t wait for you to meet the beefy boy.) 

Kathleen: One cool scary thing about book 2 is that THIS TIME, IT'S PERSONAL (like instead of you and your buds racing against bad guys to collect the magic things, you've now got a villain single-mindedly hunting you down so she can steal your <REDACTED> for use in her evil plans).

Emi: Kathleen may have called me out for it but our Big Bad is hot! Both literally and figuratively!

How much do you love QA?

Lil: SO MUCH.

Emi: Pour one out for our poor QA folks who have had to test what is the most complex book we have ever done! You are the real heroes!

Jay: QA peeps are my saviors!! Their work alone cures my anxiety.

Kathleen: Gawd I would be lost without QA my grammar is a disaster

Erin: Everyone on the Blades team is so wonderful to work with. I also tested Book 1, and to be able to contribute to Book 2 means everything to me. It’s absolutely a labor of love.

We know that years of hard work and passion went into this book. What would the Blades team like the readers to take away from this sequel?

Emi: So Kathleen and I actually helped to brainstorm the entire Blades world back when it first came into being, so it felt like coming full circle to be back and expanding it in new and fun ways. I was already in love with all of these characters and they're even closer to my heart now. I can't wait for you all to see what we've come up with!

Jay: Y’all better like it! This book has taken years off my life. *lies down on floor* (But seriously, we’re as excited about Blades 2 as all of you and hope that it brings as much joy to you as it did for us to make. I think the best word to describe the team as we wait for September 1st is giddy.)

Danielle: I hope you like our art :).

Tom: If you don’t, please keep it to yourself, artists are fragile :’} 

Lil: I was one of the few people who was new at Choices when I began working on this book, and it was truly an honor to see this thing come together. These are the minds that brought you The Crown & the Flame, The Cursed Heart, Wake the Dead, and the first Blades. It was amazing to go from watching them work as a fan to taking this epic journey together. 

Kathleen: THE REAL VILLAIN WAS THE IMPERIALISM WE MADE ALONG THE WAY

Lastly, how much does the team love Aerin?

Kathleen: I DON'T love Aerin he KIDNAPPED my WIFE.

Danielle: Which one…

Emi: Aerin is my sweet baby boi with a little dose of evil. He should be protected at all costs but also really needs to go to therapy. I live for the angst of him and Raine though. It's so juicy.

Danielle: Aerin has caused me, personally, a lot of pain.

Lil: Really, one of the fun things about the book is you can decide how much pain Aerin causes you. Unlike us.

Jay: He haunts my dreams and my Wednesdays.

Danielle: Livid and sad and livid and sad

Thank you team for taking us through the fantastical production journey of the Blades of Light and Shadow 2! We can’t wait to dive in and meet up with the gang. Launch day is so close!! 

Thank you, readers, for supporting us and our book teams!

<3 The Choices Community Team

[pridepages]

Philatos: The Song of Achilles

I just finished The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller. I have thoughts...

Here there be spoilers!

Madeline Miller’s The Song of Achilles is a classic in more than one sense. Any baby gay or ally looking for gateway LGBTQIA+ literature will inevitably find this book on every list (quite likely near the top). Its source material is classical greek poetry, and one of the most famous love stories of the mythology: that of Achilles and Patroclus. You’ve probably heard of Achilles and his infamous heel, Aristos Achaion, best of the Greeks. A demigod hero who felled mighty Trojan Prince Hector in the war for Helen--the face who launched a thousand ships and the tale of a war sung down the centuries.

You might be less familiar with Patroclus. He was, by his time’s standards, a nobody. Son of a lesser king who was exiled from his home, fully human and a shadowy figure who barely appears in the pages of Homer...but whose love changed the course of Achilles’s life.

It is said that only the love of Patroclus, and grief for his death, could spur Achilles to meet his destiny.

But there’s the debate: what kind of love was it exactly?

It seems strange after the success of Miller’s novel in popular culture that this is up for debate...but it technically still is. Search “Patroclus” in scholarly articles and you’ll find him identified as Achilles’s...friend.

His buddy. His pal.

Fucking. Yikes.

Some may say my insistence that their love is queer comes from my belief that everything is better gay. (Which...okay, yes, and I’m right!) But I’m gonna push back and point to one word:

Philatos.

This is a Greek word that Miller applies in her novel. One that was used between men in the ancient world. It means: ‘Most Beloved.’

It’s a loaded word, particularly when we consider homosexuality in the classical world which was...complicated.

People like to believe that history is as simple as: ‘the ancients were chill about homosexuality, it was only with the rise of certain religions--side-eying Christianity--that it became criminal.’

To which I answer: um...not quite.

Let’s be clear: it’s totally true that the immortal philosopher Plato set forth models that classified different kinds of love. And that one of them, eros, was desire so strong that it was akin to a force of nature. Plato theorized that eros could be harnessed and leveraged as a way to strengthen the bonds between soldiers, giving them better motivation to fight and thus making them more effective. 

For example, the Sacred Band of Thebes. You probably know them as the 300, but historians know them as 150 pairs of lovers! The best part? It worked! (At least for a while...but that’s another story.)

And how about Alexander the Great, who conquered most of his neighboring countries and amassed an empire of over two million miles? He had Hephaestion, his constant companion, of whom Alexander said: ‘He is me. I am him.’ So make of that what you will. (I’m gonna go with: gays get shit done!)

That sounds pretty straight-forward (so to speak), so what’s the problem?

Miller actually puts her finger on it in Song. As Patroclus tells us, “Our men like conquest; they did not trust a man who was conquered himself.” Let’s rephrase: being gay is chill...if you’re the top. If you’re not, then you’re the lowest of the low: Feminine. Weak. Disgraced.

I repeat: Fucking. Yikes.

So there were people then and now who would be perfectly ready to handwave away the bond between Achilles and Patroclus. They cry: why it gotta be gay? Why can’t the love of friends be enough? Why do you have to shove it down our throats?!

(I invite you to picture my eyes rolling all the way back.)

Let’s put this argument to bed: there’s nothing wrong with a love that is neither sexual nor romantic. (I see all my sibs under the aro-ace umbrella, y’all are valid!) The problem is when the existence of said love is weaponized to erase or deny other forms of queer love and make them lesser or shameful.

Because that’s what it comes down to: Honor. Reputation was everything to the ancients, and queerness put your reputation on thin ice. So much so that in Song, Patroclus even offers to hide their relationship so as not to endanger Achilles’s legacy: “Your honor could be darkened by it.” But Achilles won’t have it: “Then it is darkened. They are fools if they let my glory rise or fall on this.”

Miller saw this quiet, ever-present bond between Achilles and Patroclus in the pages of ancient texts. And she saw the unsung eros between them, the kind that drove the Sacred Band of Thebes to fight and Alexander to forge an empire. She saw how historians scoffed and dismissed it in a couple of lines to focus on the violent, tragic triumph of Achilles.

Rather than try and recast the great hero, she decided to tackle this relationship from another angle...she gave voice to Patroclus.

It’s a powerful choice to draw him from the shadows. Patroclus figures very little in the myth, and the one time he really does is when he’s disguising himself as someone else: he dies donning Achilles’s armor to rally the Greeks and rout the Trojans with the illusion that Aristos Achaion has returned to the field. One brave deed for an otherwise unremarkable life.

But was it?

Miller’s Patroclus is in many ways an everyman. He’s a mediocre swordsman, but a better healer. He’s the kind of guy who will remember your name and ask about your family, and make sure you have a comfortable place by the fire.

He’s perfectly content with his lot in life. All he really wants to do is tell you how much he loves his boyfriend.

It sounds like the stuff of ‘homeric fanfiction,’ as one boyfriend apparently scoffed at Miller’s work. (I hope she dumped him for it!) But it’s a pretty brave take for a spin on the myths. While Patroclus has respect for honor and glory, and would convince us that Achilles is the better man...that’s not the impression we are left with.

This isn’t a story of heroism by war. This is a story of the heroism of love.

Whether in a palace or on the battlefield, Patroclus’s life is defined by love. Of Achilles, of Briseis, of Chiron, of his homes, of his work, of his world.

This Patroclus says: Plato got it right. Love is what makes all of this--no matter how we live and die--a worthy endeavor.

And I think that’s what makes The Song of Achilles the philatos of queer lit. It both honors its roots, reading with prose that fits the poetic sensibilities of the Iliad, and challenges them. 

Ancient people and modern historians have something in common: an ongoing struggle to genuinely accept queer people and queer love. The Song of Achilles is a necessary book. One that bridges past and present. One that speaks softly but clearly, uncompromising in its demand that we allow gay people to be seen and honored in cultural memory.

In the words of another spin on the myths: “It’s a love song / It’s an old song / We’re gonna sing it even so!”

[justanotherquinnfan]

A Case for Milo's The Epicurean Society

Have I mentioned how good Milo's (Bad Influence's) newsletter is? I'm sure I have. And I'll continue to say so while it continues to be true. Besides how flirty and fun it is, it's a good way for him to interact with his fans while maintaining a stronger boundary than on Instagram (see my post about not making it weird). And you get such a wonderful insight into what inspires him and his thought process surrounding his work.

Case in point, he talks about his latest audio, Happy Camper, a steamy story involving sexual compersion while out on a trip to the woods with friends. He explains that this is absolutely a kink for him (he even does a Kink 101 audio about it) and the original version of this audio, titled (maybe?) The Epicurean Society, became a monster in its own right. That eventually he had to scale it back to make it work as a regular Quinn audio. Here is what he has to say about it, though I will say, for the love of all that is holy, SUBSCRIBE TO HIS NEWSLETTER. It's so good!

Based off of Secret societies like The Life and Death Brigade, your partner who you met in college, belonged to a club called “The Epicurean Society”. Several of your mutual friends belonged to this well-known secret, but you were too busy to join back in the day. Ten years later, the epicurean society decides to have a reunion, and you are sharing a campground with the aforementioned mutual friends. Initially it seems like the wild days that leaned more towards debauchery are in the past… but you have been noticing the friends being a little more PDA, and some of them flirting with you. When your partner comes to check on you in the tent that evening, things start to get spicy and you decide you’d like to reignite an old tradition… opening the tent door and letting your friends watch. But If you think they end up only watching, you haven’t been listening to enough of my audios.

Now here's the thing: I get that maybe this is a bit too much story for a regular Quinn drop. It's not there isn't room for that, I mean look at Naudio's Celestial Bodies series as an example (which I'm excited to write about), but for a one-off drop? I know that he's up to the task, but it would be a challenge to make it work. But despite that, I would argue that this story should not be discarded, or simply replaced with Happy Camper, which, while hot AF, is not the same thing.

If Milo were to ever read this, though I doubt he will, I would argue that The Epicurean Society would make for either a fantastic audio series, or an even more fantastic novel. I already know that Milo is a fantastic storyteller. His voice, both literal (I mean, I am a fan) and figurative are equally beautiful. It's now just how he says things, it's what he actually says. At times, Milo will say a sentence that pulls me out of the reverie so sweetly with how earnest or lovely it is. Or sometimes by just how dirty it is because really, it can be a little shocking and I listen to smut on the daily. And I can only imagine the pleasure of having that voice in my head (figuratively, unless he makes an audiobook) while I read let's say 150 pages of tension, release, and yearning? There is just SO much he can do with this story. With the number of potential combinations and characters, this could be a whole series.

I know that he is currently working on a historical erotic novel and trust me, I will be first in line to buy it when it's done and I'm sure he's noodling on this idea for something in the future, otherwise why share it? But if it's encouragement, or validation that is needed to push this project out, let me be the one to help. Because I read this and got excited. Not like that. Well...not just like that. It's the excitement I feel when I see an artist who is REALLY onto something. I feel like if there is anyone who can handle this particular subject with the kind of deftness required to balance spicy, sexy scenes with an almost painful honesty and sweetness...it's Milo St. James, Bad Influence, Your Sound Sidepiece or whatever else he wants to call himself.

I'll be curious where this authorship journey takes him regardless, but if there is even a chance it could lead him, and by extension the rest of us, to what happens behind closed doors with The Epicurean Society? Sign me the ABSOLUTE FUCK UP.

[plantdad-dante]

Book #138 - The Crimson Fortress by Akshaya Raman

(probably the only book with "published first draft" vibes that I would pay actual money to read a re-do of)

So, uh... what the shit happened?

Don't get me wrong, the first half of this book was fine. Maybe stumbling a bit, here and there, but The Ivory Key did, too, so, like... it's fine. Especially because fuck, was I looking forward to this! And then...

And then the pacing just started picking up speed and kept getting faster and faster and faster, until the details, the descriptions, the explanations, the transitions, the character beats, disappeared from the page and it was just action, just plot, like a fucking summary-

Okay. To maybe illustrate what I mean, an example. There is a chapter, close to the climax, that is about 1.5 pages long (for the last ~100 pages, the chapters shorten from about 8-15 pages to 1-4 pages. Feel like that's important to mention) and it's from Ronak's perspective. In it,

- he sees his sister faint - he registers that there are no further traps in the room, other than the thing that made Vira faint and that seems to have been a one-time thing - he knicks The McGuffin (that he had given to Vira in the first place, so why even- ugh) from Vira - he decides to just carry her, because they need to continue their search for The Villain and hopefully she'll wake up on the way? - he hears and then sees The Villain's Goons draw near and realizes he can't hide - he decides to throw the McGuffin he just knicked at the enemies as a distraction, so that he has time to run? (btw, this is the last McGuffin the bad guys need to complete the Evil Plan and Ronak knows that, ffs) - he flees, carries Vira to safety - Vira wakes up and he tells her that he gave away the McGuffin

... in one and a half pages. And this isn't a dense, 6-point font kinda book. This is a normal, standard YA formatted book.

The fact that Ronak gave away the McGuffin never leads to conflict, btw. The next Vira chapter does not start with her yelling at him. It does not feature a fight, or even a discussion, or at least a mention of what Ronak did. It is just accepted, and then not mentioned again, like Ronak didn't do something extremely short-sighted and dumb, yet a-fucking-gain.

Also, Kaleb is just kind of a non-entity in the final showdown? Like, he has the Secret Weapon to Deafeat The Villain, and he hands it over to a very hurt Vira, who limps across the room to get it from him, so she can then limp back to the somehow still distracted Villain to defeat her?? And that's all he does, that's his entire contribution to the fight. We don't even get to know where he is in the room. So basically, Kaleb just stands there, paralysed by things outside his control, watching his siblings do their usual things (Riya - be rebellious and combative, Vira - be the one chosen to do the important bit, Ronak - get himself into danger for nothing but ego) and honestly, it's like nothing changed at all between these... ... Actually, I will just choose not to read into that scene any further, if it's all the same to you.

Speaking of Kaleb, I loved his character arc (and he does have one, even if it's a bit tell-don't-show, due to the pacing problem), but it wouldn't have hurt to actually see Lukas in the denouement. Just a bit. A glimpse. A line. A presence. Or am I asking too much. Like, when Lukas was introduced and Kaleb and him started exhibiting romantic tension, I was hyped, because the blackmailing thing had so much juicy angst potential, and then it just kinda- ugh.

And the worst thing is that I can't even dislike this book! Because the imagination that I loved in The Ivory Key was still there! There is, very clearly, a lot of coherency and thought behind this story. The characters and their relationships and the plot make sense. And they stay consistent throughout. It's just that... for about 150 pages, suddenly this lavishly described, evocative world gets stripped to its bones, as if the clock is running out and it is only conveying bullet points to me anymore, because it wants to get to the end before the bell rings. And then the denouement is completely normal again, as if nothing happened. As if I fucking hallucinated this skeleton of a third act.

Ugh, what I wouldn't give to read a version of this that's... well, actually finished. Hm.

[cafalla]

Vintage Pokémon Stickers and Temporary Tattoos (1999-2000)

I finally took the time to tackle my little pile of vintage Pokémon stickers and temporary tattoos! It's not a crazy amount, but there was enough to make me consistently go "hmm, maybe I'll scan them tomorrow".

Thing is, I have a whole box of magazines I still want to scan...and some catalogs...there is a lot still in the works where scanning is concerned.

This little pile of Pokémon stickers have been next on my to-scan list for a while. I felt it was time to finally get on it. I'm really excited to show them off!

I love all Pokémon, and I wouldn't call myself a die-hard Gen 1 fanatic but...there is really something nostalgically special about Gen 1. I just love Pokémon a lot, especially Gen 1, and I always will.

I'm very happy to have these vintage stickers/temporary tattoos and I hope to get many more in the future!

First off, here are a couple of temporary tattoo sheets! I know they're not stickers, but they basically look like sticker sheets...at least they're equally as cool. These are from 1999!

Each came in its own single-sheet package. These photos are actually the scans flipped, so originally, they are backwards.

Because, y'know, that's how temporary tattoos work.

But for the sake of viewing the artwork, I flipped them so they are facing the "correct way" towards us.

My favorite one is Pikachu holding his Pokeball...to be honest, I totally forgot Pikachu actually has his own ball! And that it has a little lightning bolt on it. So cute. I wish we got to see it more often.

I mean, how cool would it be to get a lightning bolt ball in the games and you could ONLY catch a Pikachu with it. That'd be fun.

。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°

Next are some "super-size" sticker sets. Each set comes with two sticker sheets. These are also from 1999!

Here's the first set:

The weird swirly colored backgrounds feel sooooo 90s to me!

Next set:

Love the big Blastoise sticker. I imagine there are sets including big solo stickers of Charizard and Venusaur, too. Hopefully one day I can get my hands on them!

And the last set I have is this one:

Well, there is Charizard at least! Not a full sized solo sticker, but it's quite large. Super cool!

And the sticker of the main gang is so cute. I vividly remember that art of them featured in a lot of merchandise. We'll see them again with the next stickers, actually.

I do wonder if the white space in between Brock's bent arm was an oversight...there is also some white between Misty's neck and arm. Oops, lol!

。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°

Next I have some giant Pokémon gift tag stickers from 2000!

I originally thought they were Christmas gift tag stickers, but I think they're for any gift-giving occasion. There are 15 sticker tags in the package, containing the three designs shown above.

There's that art of the gang again! I told you we'd be seeing them again lol.

And I vividly remember that Pikachu art on a lot of my childhood merchandise. I love the OG Pikachu.

I mean, Pikachu is great in any form, but like I said earlier, the original art just hits differently. I'm way too nostalgic for Gen 1 haha. Maybe I actually am a die-hard Gen 1 fanatic...

。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°

Last, but certainly not least, we have this sticker book containing all 150 original Pokémon. It's from 1999, and barely hanging on by a couple of old staples. I had to be super careful scanning this book - I was afraid of it ripping apart.

Here's the cover:

The book's format is basically a page of stickers, and then the page opposite of the stickers contains a blank space with a pokeball graphic and the names of the Pokémon. The intention is to move the stickers over to the blank space with the Pokémon's name once you catch them in game, so you can keep track of which ones you've collected along your Pokémon journey.

I'll just be showing off the sticker pages, but you can look at the full book on my Internet Archive account to see what I'm talking about. There's also a cute little Pokémon word search in the middle of the book I recommend checking out.

Here are all 150 original Pokémon stickers!

So cool, right?!

Most of the artwork is pretty standard, but some of the Pokémon really get to show some personality! Specifically Dugtrio and Electrode.

。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°

I really like how old Pokémon merchandise gave many "obscure" Pokémon a chance to shine.

Obviously Pikachu and the main line starters get heavily featured in merchandise...but I feel like most Pokémon in recent years don't get a chance to be promoted like they used to in the early stages of the series.

Typically only the fan favorites get to shine anymore. It's sad, because there are so many neat Pokémon! Every Pokémon is special to someone, and it's nice to see them represented across merchandise.

I hope you enjoyed these scans! You can view full size/hi-quality scans on my Internet Archive account.

Or, if you would rather reblog the photos by themselves, I've uploaded them onto my photoblog: nostalgiahime. So feel free to go take a look over there!

Thanks for reading!

[deathbydarkelves]

Okay I'm getting Sylvanas-ed out so I'll stop on page 150 for now. Liveblogging it definitely made it more tolerable 💀 From my initial, cursory glance over the book I believe she gets turned into a banshee around page 180. And idk when the BfA or SL stuff is, but I'll only be reading some of the BfA stuff and completely skipping SL, since that's when my AU diverges.

And the interludes -- which I think are in The Maw -- piss me off. From what little of them I read, I think the premise of this book is that Sylvanas is recounting her life story to Anduin (which is fucking hilarious to me on its own). Anyway, they piss me off because at one point Anduin is like "you claim to champion justice and personal freedom yet you committed genocide" and Sylvanas' internal monologue is just "Ah, yes, of course he would mention that. I knew he would. Foolish man. I am playing 6D chess right now" like ????????? no fuck you. Why are you telling this human man you barely know about that one time you forgot your brother's birthday.

And this didn't need to be an in-universe retelling of her life, it would've been just fine as a plain biography. Adding that extra layer means I'm constantly a little distracted thinking "is she really describing how she started falling in love with nathanos to him????" Did Anduin ask for this, or did she just start doing this unprompted? I don't know and I can't be bothered to read the interludes to find out.

[summertimeskinney]

lol just ranting

anyone else at the point where they are just maintaining even tho they arent even close to their ugw? bc im 130 rn and maintaining it but my ugw is at least 74/75 but im just at the point where im not always completely disgusted by my body because im looking at it more subjectively and i dont think i would look good skin and bone.. honestly i dont even know why im doing this anymore. Like i dont even remember why i started doing this in the first place. my hw was like 150-160 and the only reason i became aware of my weight was because authority figures in my life were pointing it out (according to my bmi i was only slightly overweight) I started losing weight rapidly in freshman year because i discovered proana and found a community of people who were in the same situation. and i was praised.. by everyone? i was starving, then i was binge/purging. how did i even end up like this? i mean ive never really had the best relationship with food but i was only overeating a bit. now i eat until i feel so sick that i puke or am in physical pain. i can make myself throw up on demand now? ive gone literal days without eating anything. like nothing at all besides diet soda, sugar free monster, and water. im at the point where my brain is in a constant battle between the decision to binge or starve. i'll just be minding my business than my brain will be like "if you were 80lbs it wouldn't be this way" or "you're so fat, it wouldn't even be hard to be 100lbs or less. like. what are you doing? why are you so heavy and gross?" it won't stop. and instead of starving like i used to i just binge, like all day. and i dont purge either.. i don't even know whats going on anymore. im not depressed like i used to be, but i can't get the thoughts out of my head. i guess you really are in it forever? i never really believed all the warning posts about how bad eds are and how you can never go back, or maybe i just ignored them. i cant even fathom what i really look like. i have body dysmorphia in all the ways. not only do i think that despite being 5' tall and 130 lbs i would fit into anything bigger than a small. i feel gross, but ik that when i go to the doctor she's going to say that i need to lose more weight because im 2 lbs from being in a normal bmi rage. despite my titties literally weighing almost 10lbs. but then i already have troubles fitting into clothes, most places don't carry more than a small or xs in person and almost never go over a small online. i am already an xs - small as an "overweight" person. I cant imagine how hard it would be to find clothes that actually fit me at 75 lbs soaking wet. i saw a video by jesse page today talking about how she always thought that to be a princess she had to be as delicate as possible and never take up space, but then how after gaining weight she fit her princess dresses better and relearned how to feel beautiful. i want to be a delicate little doll that you could toss around and never took up a whole seat. a pretty little doll that you had to be extra careful with because you didn't want me to break. ik its not good to feel this way but i can't change the temptation to forever be empty, live off candy and diet coke, and never eat real food again. to be more of an object than a human being. but then the logical side of my brain pipes in and is like hi, i dont care what i weigh but i want to have a strong healthy body with some good biceps. i dont know how to help myself or be normal.

anyways

im fasting n laxing tmrw bc i need a cleanse. lol bye

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

A couple of months ago I started Mark Watson’s novel Eleven, and then, to be honest, I got distracted by a bunch of Daniel Kitson stuff. Which I feel a bit bad about, because based on a number of off-handed half-joking comments he’s made, I think Mark Watson has sort of spent his entire career being afraid that would happen. My apologies to Mark Watson on that one; it’s an unfortunate fact that we can’t all be Daniel Kitson, and the one person who does get to isn’t even enjoying it. But Mark has his share of advantages; Daniel Kitson could not do a show that would last 24+ hours, or organize an entire online festival in the name of making comedy accessible (quite the opposite, in fact, and I am genuinely grateful to Mark Watson for taking the anti-Kitsonian stance on comedy’s accessibility).

I almost wrote that Daniel Kitson couldn’t write this novel, but actually I think he almost could, and I mean that very much as a compliment. The layers of interconnection. The jumping around between timelines and perspectives to make you gather up the story in seemingly disparate pieces, making it all the more satisfying when they fall into place and you can look at the whole puzzle. The messages about community and overlapping lives and people affecting each other through proximity. The overexplanations of consequences and meaning. Daniel Kitson probably wouldn’t have written the character whose prominent stutter was one of several traits that emphasized why he was such a pitiful figure, but other than that, it turns out the themes that make me drop whatever else I’m doing for a Daniel Kitson recording were in this novel all along.

I’m at my parents’ place for Christmas at the moment, and finally sat down long enough to finish the book. I read the first 150 pages a little at a time over several weeks, and the last 150 pages in about a day. The pace really picked up in the second half, as the network of connections got bigger and more complicated, and some of the treads started tying together. I love watching threads tie together.

I wrote a post just after starting the book that said I was immediately struck by how the writing style reminds you, almost every word, that this author studied literature at Cambridge. “Oxbridge” is an adjective that’s almost never used positively, and rightly so in many ways, but a novel is the appropriate place for someone to show off how well they can pick out words and put them together, so it’s a good thing this time.

It's so nicely written, the details all picked out carefully. Certain things get described in unusually flowery terms, like one character’s Geordie accent, and I liked that. Overemphasis on little things made it feel like it was written from a closer perspective, following the main character in the specific things he notices.

I first got this book along with Frankie Boyle’s novel (which I’ve only just started, after finishing the Mark Watson one), and when I first got them, I posted something silly about getting novels from two authors who have some deep-down fundamental similarities but are diametrically opposed in many ways. You know, one of my attempts to fit real life into the sort of nicely woven narrative that gets written about by Mark Watson and Daniel Kitson. I compared the quotes on the cover; the Mark Watson book used one that called it “gentle, compassionate, unusual, and thought-provoking”, while the Frankie Boyle one got called “a twisted Caledonian take on Altman’s The Long Goodbye”. Contrasting adjectives that might tell you something about the authors behind them, I thought.

That’s relevant to how the book turned out, because, like with Mark Watson’s comedy, it ended up going darker than its fairly soft and easygoing surface suggested. I often think about a comment Mark Watson made on a podcast once, about wishing he had a better “killer instinct” in his stand-up routines, being willing to stay in the tough subject matter he takes on instead of undercutting it. This book backed off from that a little bit; an author who was more confident in their killer instincts might have written a few parts of this book more intensely (that author could just be a more recent version of Mark Watson, I think he’s developed that skill much more in the last few years). However, there were several parts of Eleven that didn’t back off at all, went every bit as dark as Frankie Boyle or Daniel Kitson or anyone else would have, and it was done with all the care and skill that Mark Watson puts into everything else. It felt like an overall very good book with flashes of more intense brilliance.

The characters felt so much like real people, the settings felt like places I know, the situations and choices felt realistic. I don’t want to spoil it, but I’ll say the mysteries that drew me in did end up with satisfyingly interesting answers. My overall rating is reducing complex and subjective works of art to numerical value is fucking pointless, but this was a damn good book that I should have finished sooner.

[dfroza]

A link to my personal reading of the Scriptures

for the 17th of August 2024 with a paired chapter from each Testament (the First & the New Covenant) of the Bible

[The Letter of 1st Peter, Chapter 2 • The Book of Deuteronomy, Chapter 15]

along with Today’s reading from the ancient books of Proverbs and Psalms with Proverbs 17 and Psalm 17 coinciding with the day of the month, accompanied by Psalm 59 for the 59th day of Astronomical Summer, and Psalm 80 for day 230 of the year (with the consummate book of 150 Psalms in its 2nd revolution this year)

A post by John Parsons:

The romantic holiday of Tu B’Av begins sundown on Sunday, August 18th this year..

====

Tu B'Av (ט"ו באב), an acronym for the "fifteenth [day] of [the month of] Av") is an annual holiday of love and affection (sometimes called chag ha-ahavah: חַג הָאַהֲבָה) that is celebrated as a sort of “Valentine’s Day” in modern Israel (though it is a much older holiday that St. Valentine’s Day). Just as Yom Kippur (the Day of Atonement) originally celebrated the reconciliation of Israel to the LORD after the sin of the Golden Calf, so Tu B'Av originally celebrated the reconciliation of Israel for the Sin of the Spies. Therefore both the fifteenth of Av and Yom Kippur became joyous times celebrating forgiveness and restoration to the LORD. Indeed, the Babylonian Talmud (Ta'anit 31a) quotes Shimon ben Gamliel as saying, "Israel had no holidays as joyous as the fifteenth of Av and the Day of Atonement, when the maidens of Israel would go out and dance in the vineyards... What were they saying: Young man, consider whom you choose to be your wife..."

Since it marks the "last" festival of the Jewish year, Tu B’Av prophetically pictures our marriage to the Lamb of God (Seh Elohim), Yeshua our beloved Messiah. On a soon-coming day those who belong to him and are faithful to follow his ways will be blessed with the unspeakable joy as their "wedding day" finally has come. This is heaven itself - to be in the Presence of the LORD and to be His beloved (Rev. 19:6-9).

With the advent of the holiday of Tu B'Av, we are reminded of the beautiful phrase, ani l'dodi ve'dodi li (אֲנִי לְדוֹדִי וְדוֹדִי לִי), "I am my beloved's, and my beloved is mine" (Song. 6:3), a phrase the sages say is an acronym for the name Elul (אלול). Since the month of Elul begins in just a couple of weeks (i.e., Wednesday, September 4th this year), the entire month is set apart to prepare us for the coming High Holidays in early October. During this time it we engage in cheshbon ha-nefesh (“soul searching”) and to derive comfort that God is forgiving and loving to those who turn to Him. The sages chose the seven “Haftarot of comfort” to encourage us to make our hearts ready for the upcoming High Holiday Season.

“To love someone means to see them as God intended them” (Fyodor Dostoyevsky).

[ Hebrew for Christians ]

========

Song of Songs 6:3 reading:

https://hebrew4christians.com/Blessings/Blessing_Cards/song6-3-jjp.mp3

Hebrew page:

https://hebrew4christians.com/Blessings/Blessing_Cards/song6-3-lesson.pdf

Tu B'Av page:

https://www.hebrew4christians.com/Holidays/Summer_Holidays/Tu_B_Av/tu_b_av.html

8.16.24 • Facebook

from Today’s email by Israel365

Today’s message (Days of Praise) from the Institute for Creation Research

[pwblogarchive]

April 2005

April 5, 2005

i've got a flame gun for all the cute ones

so let's start this one out with how great spring is. seriously. we're in love. jay-z called my phone the other day. for real this is how the conversation went:

jayz: yo pete

me: hello

j: this is j

me: jay who

j: jay-z

me: yeah right

j: no. it is. we're gonna let em know right

me: are you fucking serious

j: we're gonna let the world know about fall out boy

me: yeah. we can do whateveer you want

j: aight . ill see you at one of your new york shows

me: are you serious, this is jay-z

j: ::click::

me: man you are so fucking awesome

j: dialtone

total fan moment.

i guess cause he is the president of defjam and we're on island/defjam that's how come he called. uh WTF?

new things on the horizon:

tentatively titled: the boy with the thorn in his side in "i am the dream, you are the dreamer" - me and travis from gym class and a couple of others began working on this. it will be a slightly different format - about 150-200 pages illustration every 5 pages. similiarly styled but trust me the other was simply an introduction. this won't be out till winter probably.

before that: two pack ultra limited "boy with the thorn" and "rattail" broken heart two pack toy. possibly at the end of summer.

and also, tentatively titled: "rainy day kids" - about 130 pages no illustrations. this book comprises writing from the last 5 years - on the directors cut it was mistakingly called "young hearts be free" - these read alot closer to my journal entries. this should be out by fall...

lots of more stuff coming soon: clandestine.buzznet.com... get over to your local hot topic and pick up some gear - so then maybe they'll grab some of this new stuff to sell too!

the tour has been amazing. we are shooting a new video in the next week or so.

patrick: sing-y/stinky

joe: coughy/nakedy

andy: vegany/music-y

pete: sleepy/no-sleepy

korean dan suh: drunky/more drunky

merch jim: angry/too much merchy

dirty: dirty/dirty

truefuckinglove

peter

p.s. thanks for showing me all of those new bands. i liked a bunch of them. if you guys know any bands that kind of sound like hellogoodbye (smaller unsigned ones only cause the bigger ones i have heard)--- lemme know. cause that band rules.

April 5, 2005

dear trophy boys and secrets girls-

welcome to the next phase of our life. we hope we can look at the world in a new way. we're really excited for may 3 and warped tour but until then come on out to the FBR friends and family tour. long live our car crash hearts.

peterabbit

April 13, 2005

hey girls. special post for you. i am looking for a womens blazer that would fit a dude about my size- black or striped or whatever. ill trade you something cool. collar shirts too. im down for whatever. bring it to the show, ill trade you up. love peter

btw- xs in dudes, probably m or l in girls.... aaaaaaannnnd dont feel like you gotta bring anything but your smile- woo.

- petey

April 13, 2005

Love. We got you. Tour has been amazing. Midtown just dropped off, silverstein picked it up. People will be missed, new friends will be made. We got you on the bussiness end of the barrel. Get into it or drop out, hit it or quit it. New record soon. We just shot a new video for "sugar we're going down", its kind of weird. Its definitely the most time and money we have ever spent on a video. We hope you love it. Lets just say there is a fireplace, a bear head, deers and upstate new york outdoors involved. Our friend matt lenski who shot all those cute little baby chick mtv commercials. "We should move somewherer deep in the middle of july" she said. You know how I get down (and out). They say he could have anyone but that just means no one. And I'm foggy like london but without all the class and dignity. More like northern florida in august. I'm getting off(line). Sweating it out in the dark. I am all breaths and heartbeats. Goddamn baby, it not me its you. Or whatever.

Today was a good day.

I didn't have to use my a.k.

Make me electric. Peter

April 14, 2005

the list:

ins/outs of 2005:

in:

snapping bras

panic at the disco

drama and gossip

waking up at 10am

makeup that makes you look like a girl

huge watches make your wrist hurt

lust

"headwalks"

phonecalls home

bunklife

brutal honesty

real life friend cuts

pretending to be girls on myspace and messing with dudes who are creepy

windy city heat

saying you knew fall out boy way back when

out:

wearing underwear

makeup that makes you look goth

going to sleep at 10am

huge belt buckles that make your waist hurt

love

"crowdsurfing"

phonecalls to ______ _____

hotellife

lying

livejournal friend cuts

being a creepy dude on myspace and sending girls messages

being friends with fall out boy now

April 19, 2005

“naked peek a boo what.”

brendanP!ATD: Dude my mouth and mostly my tongue is all leathery from eating too many gobstoppers.

BrendanP!ATD: its so shitty

PeteFOB: hahaha

PeteFOB: thats the price of sweetness

oh yeah. just to ruin your crush on me i went and dyed my hair black and purple. hehe. oh and yes i do have a sister.

i want a girl that doesnt have time to think things through

April 21, 2005

“namedrop it like it’s hot”

sorry cincinatti, we had an early buscall and patricks sick and im sick in the head. i let a ghost catch me.

sometimes its (not) okay to lose your mind.

peter

04/21/05 Q&A

question

pete. brendon urie or ryan ross?

answer

neither. im a spence kind of boy. definitely. cause then his name would be Spence Wentz

question

Pete, Do you ever have any “Wet Dreams”? If so of whom? hmmm…?

answer

once i fell asleep in the van between two dudes and had a crazy wet dream when i woke up they were both looking at me. but not like a “oh boy you rule” look more like a “what just happened” look but oh boy did it rule.

April 24, 2005

guys and stellasssss. this tour is amazing. we are lining up some fun things for may- including a mini-tour and maybe a couple of other suprises for you. i hate to have to bring the drama but.

1. i do not have a girlfriend

2. i do not have a boyfriend

3. lindsey lohan is just a friend

i found this amazing band you'll fall in love with soon.

xxoo peter

April 24, 2005

Okay the last entry was obviously a joke. Pretty much I am in love with being on tour but my private life will always be my private life. The people I date or don't date aren't really worth IMing me about. xxoo peeeeeete.

04/24/05

question

William Beckett vs. Peter Wentz for the title of FBR Sex Symbol… who wins and why?

answer

mike cardin because he just said “butcher tell your dyke ass mom to stop calling my phone”- and thats just insane. besides what me and bill do behind closed doors is our thing not fbrs.

April 26, 2005

Here we are under the radar across the border. I’m sorry I seem to have lost my mind.

Me: how bad did I look on tv?

You: you looked okay

You: would it be gay of my to tell you that the purple brought out you eyes?

Me: hahahaha

Safe.

Patricks birthday is tommorrow. I am in love with him so give him presents.

Still l i/o ving

Xxoo

04/27/05

question

my boyfriend is tall and asian and has a boycrush on pete. if you ever see him would you give him a smooch on the cheek?

answer

i already have one asian boy i’m dating and his name is korean tom cruise.

April 30, 2005

I'm sore throat singing through the curtain at you down the hall in the dark and you're asleep or just a good actor. In my head this is the way we'll always be. Me walking out dripping wet, trailing my finger nails against the picture frames on the walls. Slipping back into whatever and being careful shut the door so I don't wake anyone.

Washington d.c. Has got us under this amazing spell. We are on our way to bamboozle fest, see you in new jersey tommorrow. Ill be up at 9am looking for the sun. Stop by the clandestine booth all weekend, we'll be giving away clandestine slap bracelets (you know like the ones that everyone loved in the 80s).

[bewitchingbooktours]

Bewitching Blitz- Exiles by LJ Ambrosio #Fiction #ComingofAgeFiction

Exiles

Reflections of Michael Trilogy

Book Three

LJ Ambrosio

Genre: Fiction/Coming-of-age

Publisher: Film Valor

Date of Publication: May 2024

Number of pages: 150

Word Count: 40,241

Cover Artist: Seamus C 

Book Description: 

In this final chapter, Ron's story concludes from Reflections on the Boulevard (2023). 

Michael's wish was for Ron to exile himself in the heart of Paris with its beautiful culture and citizens as they protest and fight for the soul of the city. 

Ron's journey is met with life-affirming friendships and lessons along the way. 

The final book in the Reflections of Michael Trilogy, which started with A Reservoir Man (2022).

Amazon      BN       Smashwords

CHAPTER ONE

A cool autumn breeze, in the twilight, wrapped around our exile who sat on a bench in front of a bookstore that resembled a place we might find in a Tolkien novel. On this street, rue de la Buccheri, was the bookstore Shakespeare and Company. The store itself was famous for housing the books of many great literary artists on their shelves. They also supported any young or old artistic vagabonds by allowing them to sleep in the aisles of the bookstore on makeshift beds when finding themselves homeless.

Ron, who managed the store, sat on this bench every evening thinking of Michael. Ron thought of things he remembered and how much he learnt from Michael. He felt the emptiness in his soul, yearning to have that connection just one more time. He had lived in Paris for six years now, a brief time for an exile, yet he was free from a society drowning in untruths; his refuge was the bookstore.

Just like every night, as Ron prepared to close the store, he occasionally checked the front of the store, looking for his friend. Then, he noticed another young man still looking at books on the outside shelves.

Ron moved outside to get a closer look at the late customer under the guise of moving the outdoor book bins back inside. He suddenly noticed that the young man was putting a book down his pants.

Ron raised his voice and shouted for the thief to put the book back on the shelf. The young man, caught in the act, ran away.

The young man sprinted and tripped while running past the café. In this stumble, he decided to turn the corner and make his way rapidly toward la Seine.

Ron, weak in the legs from forgetting the spirit of his youth, had been managing bookstores more than living life. His legs pumped forward. but with the awkwardness of an old man who had forgotten how to walk. In a few seconds he was up to speed and ran faster to catch the thief.

Near the corner, Ron had missed his opportunity to slow and check for other people walking, so he slammed into a group of women. He especially blasted into an old lady whose groceries flew into the sky, and a yogurt splattered against a wall and the faces of the other women. She turned to condemn her assailant, but he was already on the next block in pursuit of the thief.

He spotted the thief at the Notre Dame Hotel, out of breath, leaning against a pillar. Surprised at the thief’s choice to stop here, he slowed down and let his feet pound the street into a halt.

Ron grabbed at him but still missed his shoulder.

“Give me the book back!” he said, very loudly.

The thief just shrugged his shoulder, a mocking smile. His smile made the act of chasing him through the streets feel silly, as if this were a game that had been played and he took it too seriously.

The thief looked at Ron and asked, sarcastically, “What language are you speaking?”

“What do mean? I am speaking French!”

Our thief laughed, turned to a random man who walked down the street, and said, "This young man thinks he is speaking French Go ahead say something to this stranger; he will tell you are speaking some other language other than French!”

“I will call the police,” Ron said firmly.

About the Author:

Louis J. Ambrosio ran one of the most nurturing bi-coastal talent agencies in Los Angeles and New York. He started his career as a theatrical producer, running two major regional theaters for eight seasons. Ambrosio taught at 7 Universities. Ambrosio also distinguished himself as an award-winning film producer and novelist over the course of his impressive career.

Website: https://www.ljambrosio.com/ 

Blog: https://ljambrosio.blogspot.com/ 

Twitter: https://twitter.com/authorlambrosio

TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@ljambrosioauthor

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ljambrosioauthor/ 

Author Bookstore: https://payhip.com/LJAMBROSIO

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/22516285.L_J_Ambrosio

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