#and its fun but also like i am WORKING. i feel like i am putting in EFFORT
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minho is felix's bestfriend and also happens to be your sworn enemy. he comes over one evening.
whats the worst that could happen...
-contains mature themes
frustration.
pure frustration was what you were feeling. was it really this difficult to operate a toy?!
a damn vibrator that too. a simple little vibrator. internally embarassed by your lack of 'skills' in using it.
maybe you were pressing down on the wrong setting. cause everytime it reached the highest vibrations, it would go back to the lowest setting, a few seconds after.
you didn't even feel like continuing because of how pissed of you were. what a bad way to ruin your fun.
it had been month since you last felt like you should treat yourself. get yourself off to be very specific.
and when you decide to finally try out your very first vibrator, the universe decides its not your day.
stepping out of the bathroom, still uncomfortable with the sensitivity between your legs. unintentionally edging yourself and eventually giving up entirely on trying to make yourself cum.
you blamed it on the vibrator. that darned cursed object.
flinging it on the bed in annoyance.
a small little sticky note is placed on the lamp on your bedside table. its from felix.
he had yelled goodbye while you were still showering (more like struggling). and you had yelled back, acknowledging him.
i'll be going out with chris for an hour or so. minho-hyung will be coming to our room in 20 minutes. im sowwy but he really needed a place to chill at...seungmin is studying and needs no disturbances....so i told minho he could stay in our room for a couple hours.
don't worry, bubssss i'll be back soon so things don't get awkward between yall!!!
MAYBE TRY AND GET ALONG?!
- lixie ☆
now this pisses you off even more. why the hell was everything going exactly the opposite of what you wanted.
lee minho was the last person you'd want in your shared dorm room. minho was literally gonna be coming here.
it had been almost 15 minutes since felix left. that means he'd be here anytime soon. before you even get the chance to hang your towel on the back of your chair, someone knocks on the door.
"fuckin minho of all people"
its real frustration at this point. nevertheless you open the door for him. taken aback by the attire he's in.
it was the very first time you'd ever seen him so...put together? dressed up?
what you meant was he was in semi formal attire ; a mixture of badboy or rather biker boy vibes.
"whats up with the outfit" you say, gesturing to him entirely. pointing out the leather jacket he had thrown on. it fitted him well. a bit too well.
the ripped jeans hugged his thighs. thick and muscular. a reminder that he works out and is a dancer.
"do i need a reason to wear what i feel like wearing?"
his cockiness has your fists itching to punch him straight in the nose. he huffs out a deep breath, walking right into the room. as if he owned the place. he had been here a number of times with felix. but it still pissed you off.
"fuck off" you mutter under your breath. closing the door and walking back to your bed.
that is until you see him plopping himself down on your bed. YOUR BED.
"what'd you say?" minho repeats. he has a few raspberries in his hand.
did he carry them all across campus..to eat them here ? you sometimes question his questionable habits and ways of thinking.
"don't feel like telling you" you cock back. placing your hands on your face and sighing.
were you that needy that for some reason his cologne made your breath fasten-
"what's gotten you so..." his voice trails off, beginning to question why you were so irritable. "...hot and bothered."
"i am not hot and bothered so kindly shut up"
you blurt out, blinking at him and thats when you realise.
where had you thrown the vibrator? did you put it back in your hiding spot or was it still in the bathroom...
"this says otherwise." and to your worst nightmare, minho is holding up the toy.
its like your blood runs cold. theres nothing you can say. or do. except go speechless and motionless.
"pretty cheap, don't you think?" observing it so casually. you feel yourself get wetter. his fingers catching it mindlessly.
"s-stop playing around with it" you stutter, suddenly feeling shyer than ever.
minho smirks and you unconciously press your thighs together.
"it doesn't work properly, does it."
switching it on. it buzzes loudly in the silence of the room. its vibrations are hardly anything.
you've had enough and you grab his wrist. pausing in shock when the buzzing becomes louder. you can feel it vibrating.
he presses down on it harder and it nearly vibrates out of his grip.
how had he managed to get it to its highest setting-
"did you cum? or are you just staining your panties right now as we speak." he snorts out, manspreading.
"cause this wasn't even switched on properly"
☆
you find yourself laying on your back. his hand slithered past the waistband of your pants. pressing it right over your cunt. teasingly moving the rounded tip up and down.
"needy pussy"
he's on top of you. smirking and observing every single change in your expressions.
"min-hho-" squirming under him. your hands flying down to weakly tug on his wrist. eyes struggling to stay focused.
"i must admit. hearing you say my name like that makes me want to see how you'll be if I fuck you"
sadistically keeping his pressure firm. nudging it under your panties.
"you're so much better like this, baby"
minho smirks. chuckling at the way you push yourself deeper into the bed. hips bucking upwards to escape his teasing. its cold when it comes in contact with your clit. the tips of his fingers rubbing into your folds everytime he played around with the toy.
"lee.minho a-ah" you writhe out, voice turning whiny. the familiar sensation builds up. except its more intense than ever.
he purposely turns the setting lower and you whimper in disappointment.
"maybe if i rub this..." pushing the vibrator all over your folds. a breathy gasp escaping his lips at how slicked up your cunt was.
"...or maybe if i touch this soaked cunt" dropping the vibrator and slipping his index finger through your slippery swollen lips.
"shit baby, did i get you this wet." and you know he's going to tease you for days if not months.
"you hate me, d-don't you" you whisper,shooting him a glare when he traces a digit over your clit.
eyes widening and breath quickening with how he maintains eye contact with you. bringing his head down to grunt in your ear. his fingers slapping your pussy meanly.
you whine, gripping his biceps. the leather jacket thrown on the edge of your bed.
"i hate you alright." he whispers, rubbing into your wetness slowly. minho chuckles. "filthy girl. you're throbbing on my fingers"
"i hate you so much that i jerk off to your pictures or that tone you use when you're pissed at me...i hate you to the point I cum so hard just picturing you taking my dick"
you can't control the fluttering feeling. coating his fingers even more so.
"i h-hate you more"
theres no heat in your words. gasping and legs quivering against his thicker thighs. keeping you open, unable to close your legs around his hand.
"hm, you do? tell me how much you hate me, kitten"
"i d-do...f-fuck" eyes rolling back in pleasure. desperately trying to chase your orgasm but he doesn't let you.
"yeah? you hate me so much that you're letting me touch you." minho says, voice going deeper. his ears are a shade of red and his lips parted.
"you're wet and begging for more under me. is that cause you hate me, sweetheart. or is that just you being you"
he quickens his pace. circling hard over your swollen and aching clit.
till you're throwing your hands around his neck. pulling him onto you entirely while you cum. its the hardest you've ever orgasmed.
maybe it was cause it had been so long...or you were sure it was because of him.
"there we go, good kitty" riding your high.
taking you by surprise when he presses a gentle kiss to your cheek. so you push a few strands of hair out of his face. not letting go of him just yet.
"don't call me that" you whisper, struggling to hold in your smile. his lips curve upwards into a subtle smirk. kissing your neck slowly..
"but now that I know you're so pliant, i claim you as one of my cats"
your legs giving in when he gets up. wiping his coated fingers on his jeans. it leaves a wet stain.
"again as I said." you lift your head up, confused.
"this thing is useless!" grabbing the vibrator like he had personal beef with it. flinging it casually somewhere behind you.
"choose me. customize, personal talk, boyfriend material, protection...all in one package, baby"
pointing to himself.
he reaches over to the abandoned raspberries on the counter. walking back to stuff one small red berry in your mouth. smiling when you savour it.
"good kitty"
.
.
"is that minho hyung's jacket you're wearing?" felix' eyes widen. wondering why you were wearing the leather jacket.
"yeah and he told me i could wear it when i meet him for dinner tonight" you reply, lacing your boots up.
"YOU'RE HAVING DINNER WITH HIM?!"
.
.
.
.
.
.
I wanna be his dinner- GOD HE'S SO ARGHSBSJAKJW HAHAHAHIWHEHSHS
#minho and you#not getting along#BUT HE'S PROUD TO#MAKE U FEEL GOOD#he loves the challenge#bestfriend's friend who is also your ememy#WAHHHH WTF I KINDA LIKE IT#mean dom minho#lives in my head rent free#subtle little praises though??#EVEN HOTTER!!!#who needs a vibe#when you got his hands on you-#minho and his veiny hands#I LOVE HIS ARMS#I LOVE HIM WHOLE#lee minho smut#lee know smut#stray kids smut#skz smut#stray kids imagines#skz imagines#skz drabbles#fluffylino works#stray kids hard thoughts#lee minho imagines#lee know imagines#minho smut#hard dom minho#dom!lee know
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ok. yay! let's talk about jason todd autopsy scars.
WARNING: pretty thorough description of an autopsy ahead. if you don't like cut up bodies this one isn't for you.
prefacing this by saying i am not in any way a field expert in any of this, just a guy with really morbid autism and a pretty objectively concerning collection of nonfiction on the subject. i may be wrong about things! i did not crack open the books for my stupid little tumblr post (this time). people with actual experience feel free to correct me.
if jason had had a thorough autopsy performed on him, he would not come back to life* and also probably bruce wayne would go to jail.
*or at least come back with scars from it. more on that later!
if an autopsy was performed it would have to be by someone who knew about batman because robin's scars are pretty difficult to explain. it would be pretty easy to bypass an official autopsy, jason was blown up, his cause of death is not exactly a mystery.
bruce wayne might be the kind of guy who's so obsessive he needs to know exactly which event actually killed jason (if the crowbar killed him, batman couldn't have gotten there in time. if the smoke killed him....). but maybe he also wouldn't want to know for the same reason.
the most important thing is that we know jason had massive head trauma. if you were trying to figure out which of the many terrible things that happened to him was the one that killed him, you'd want to take a look at the brain.
and guys, i don't know if you know this, but the brain only holds its shape because it's inside your skull. the human brain is the consistency of silken tofu. once it's out of your head, it's not going back in.
this is inconvenient for coroners, so they'll probably spend several days soaking jason's brain in a chemical concoction designed to make it firm up. once they do that, it's time to dissect it.
but the fun doesn't end there! once they're done, if they don't just dispose of the brain separately, they're still not going to go through the trouble if wrangling it back into jason's cranium (now open on top, like an egg cup). it goes in the organ bag!
did i forget to mention the organ bag? look, they're not going to put all of his wet organs back into his chest cavity. he's already rapidly decaying. if bruce wayne gets his son back and he's leaking there'll be hell to pay.
so all the organs, which at this point have also been cut into little pieces to study, get jumbled together in a plastic bag. that they do stick back into the kind of gaping hole that the organs vacated. then they stick the ribs back in place (they were sawed off, at the beginning, to gain entry to the organs).
and honestly? without the brain in the mix i can almost believe it. i guess if jason had a really shitty autopsy courtesy of gotham's overcrowded underfunded mortuary? i mean more people who write jason resurrection fic should have to think about the organ bag, and what happens to it. would it just sort of glorp out of him while his organs wiggle themselves back into place? one day i will write my funeral industry accurate jason todd resurrection fic and it will make everyone sad and uncomfortable.
but i guess my thesis statement is that i think it would be really hard to come back to life if your brain was in 7-14 pieces inside a plastic bag where your stomach used to be.
the most likely way for the resurrection to work, in that case, would be to restore his body to its state directly before death, which does unfortunately predate his autopsy.
so what this post is saying is that jason probably wouldn't have had an autopsy, but even if he did, he wouldn't have the scars to show for it.
now, the idea that they're vivisection scars and ra's al ghul was poking around in there? i like that a lot
#jason todd#red hood#batman#dc#dc robin#yeah i know the dead guy being my blorbo is. incredibly unsurprising#and i didn't even get to talk about the burial vault! or be a Fun Ruiner about coffins#follow for more pedantic death posts#maybe one day i will make a nice one about jason being proactive in choosing how he wants his body to be cared for next time#who knows#uhhhh#autopsy cw#gore cw#loose bibliography for this post is of course caitlin doughty's entire ouvre#but also stiff by mary roach and all the living and the dead by hayley campbell#batgirlcoded#thank u for indulging me <3
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hey! before I begin, I wanted to say how much I love your comics!! the style and palettes are really soothing, and it's always nice to read them, relate heavily, and not feel quite such an oddball!! so thanks :]
I (very recently) received the results of my diagnosis for autism and adhd (I got both, and a couple other smaller things) and was wondering what things you did differently immediately after diagnosis that helped you? I've tried things like proper organisation and cleaning, keeping on top of deadlines for college as much as I am able, and trying to study as much as I can (a levels are very stressful even though I've only just started the course, and while these solutions are what's considered "good" by the college, its not really helping me as much as I would like)
a large part of the diagnosis was dedicated to brain function (I had the privelidge of being assessed privately, so the evidence was very detailed and thorough), and I scored stupidly high on vocabulary and language study. However, I feel like there's somewhat of a disconnect between the effort I've put in on my foreign language studies and the progress I'm seeing- I'm trying so so hard to understand grammatical concepts and absorb a lot of vocabulary in preparation for some smaller tests in the near future, but I'm not seeing the reward during lessons or even with preparation. I am fully aware that with all the work and effort I'm spending, I am closer than I would like to be to a meltdown and probably burnout, which I desperately want to avoid. It just feels that although my brain is wired for linguistic study, I feel like I'm falling behind or failing
I guess if you have any advice or anything that helped you once your diagnosis was confirmed, or tips for study, I would be greatly appreciative :]
Tldr: struggling with study and fearful of failure, any advice?
hnng I remember the stress of A levels, you couldn't pay me to go through that again 🫠
After being diagnosed I started to allow myself to unmask and stim in more obvious ways. Previously my stims had generally been pretty small, like flicking my fingers or wiggling a bit, but now I allow myself to flap and rock and play with fidget toys as well and it genuinely does help release tension.
It sounds like your're working really hard - if you feel close to burnout and/or meltdowns, you might be working too hard. I also found it really hard to take breaks when I was studying (...still do) but the truth is, by not allowing your mind to rest, you're actually making it harder for yourself to learn and retain information.
So my advice is, take a break! A real break, not 'I'm gonna scroll on my phone for a bit' or 'I went to the toilet that counts as a break right'. Get up, step away from your work for at least an hour, and do something you find relaxing and fun. Go for a walk or just sit outside. Make yourself a drink. Take a nap if you need to. Try to avoid looking at screens during your break if you can. And when you go back to studying, schedule times to have regular short breaks as well (eg a 10 minute break every hour). I set alarms for mine because otherwise I forget to move for five hours.
A break allows your brain to process the information and let it settle properly. When you go back to work you'll hopefully feel more refreshed and able to take in information again. Remember, if you've just started the course, then this is a marathon, not a sprint, so please try not to overdo it and burn yourself out right at the start. Conserve your energy for the long haul.
If you're still struggling, are you able to ask for help, maybe from a friend or a teacher? A teacher could give you some techniques on how to improve in the specific areas you find difficult, and sometimes just talking through the bit you're having trouble with or not understanding can help a lot.
Good luck with your studies and I hope you take some time to rest as well :)
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𝐃𝐑𝐀𝐆𝐎𝐍 𝐀𝐆𝐄: 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐕𝐄𝐈𝐋𝐆𝐔𝐀𝐑𝐃 ➸ irulanne . the rook .
𝐌𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐍 𝐖𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐒 . 𝐄𝐋𝐅 . 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇 𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐑 𝐌𝐀𝐆𝐄 .
-`. template by @kanos . coloring . icons .
✧ ― 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 (ask to be added or removed or interact 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞!!):
@pavus, @wlwaerith, @shadowsofrose, @grapecaseschoices, @nokstella
@queennymeria, @risingsh0t, @carrionsflower, @leviiackrman, @griffin-wood
@confidentandgood, @aceghosts, @tommyarashikage, @shadowglens, @yharnams
@anoras, @theelderhazelnut, @florbelles, @celticwoman, @pinkfey
@kyberinfinitygems, @cloudofbutterflies92, @carlosoliveiraa, @shellibisshe, @adelaidedrubman
@lavampira, @capelizabeth, @socially-awkward-skeleton, @statichvm, @unholymilf
@aezyrraeshh, @imogenkol, @aceghosts, @full---ofstarlight, @ellierenae
#oc: irulanne#leg.ocs#leg.edits#*myedits#*ocedit#dragon age rook#da:tv#datv#my necromancer !!!!!!! my baby she’s here!!#teehee the first of the rooks !! so far i have 4 on standby for the fall the brainworms are brainwormingg jnhdkhnsk#spot the lucanne reference hehee twas a must to add something of luca in there he and lanna have had me in a CHOKEHOLD all a week hehe <3#colorings by cavalier remainn ICONIC andd SPEAKING OF WHICH THIS TEMPLATE GOLLY HOLLY#ty tyy orion this template was SOO good *screams* i had SO much fun working with it!!!!!#alsoo the official tarot for necromancers / mages / sidony from inky youll always be loved by MEE.#i am not sure if i want to go too much into her lore yet as its so early but the brainrot is brainrotting and i have SOO many thoughts!!#her history her lore how i see her interacting with the world and the world with her lanna's personality and her dynamic with luca AHHHH#*rattling the bars of my cage* FALL COME SOONER !!#lanna has had the braincell for the week STRAIGHT hdbjh <33#the high stakes tennis match between dragon show and dragon game brainrot hehe <33#ill hopefully have something for them too soooon I MISSED THEMM SO MUCHH#her lighthouse outfit + luca's outfit hehe couples that wear *almost* matching outfits thats soulmates or something (im normal) HEHEE#her name (hopefully the last time i change it djksncks) is inspired by i*rulan from d*une !!#an arcane prodigy entering her girlfailure era <33 girlbossed too close to the sun if u will JNDKJDSN#seemingly puts on an air of confidence but hides BIIIG time nervous wreck energy shes gonna take messing things up well i can feel it :')#i feel like a lot of clothes for her are sort of reminiscent of her time in the mourn watchers? all based on aspects of the dead??#like bones or etc?? but i also love that she could be a lightning learning mage with other magic so she takes to that more ethereal nature#to her style !! she’s also a BIG fan of the opera and was sort of praised as this golden child an arcane prodigy#the gifted kid to burnout adult pipeline she is really feeling it now 🥀🤧#hi hi moots if u read all that i am baking you cookies as we speak THERES SO MUCH MORE LOREE on her i have im screaming she’s everythingg#AHH IT WORKED IT POSTED <33 so so happy i can yell about her now HEHE 🥀💌
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Back to what I do best (bare minimum Putting My Guys In Situations shitposts) 😌
Inspo under cut!!!
#fire emblem#feh#got so mad at my other thing i finished this one out of spite.#this shitpost is also what spurred on my recent fairy posts! really really funny and unironically cool#how shitpost redraws can just. help you get a better feel for a chara and/or their dynamics w other charas#or in this case makes you REALLY think about them like!!! yeah haha funny plumeria hatemail#but like how am i gonna draw her actually? how am i gonna portray her? i need to figure these things out as i go#which led to my redesign and oops! uh oh! she's in my brain now. she's taking on a life of her own.#i def needed the break/detour though... if i ever want to get to my fairy lore i have to. develop the fairy lore.#also kind of fucked up and evil i think i finally hit a point where i was tired of drawing alfonse. insane.#to be fair... that other project i've been working on.... has hands.#again just a much needed break/shifting of gears. it was a lot of fun!!!!!#this was a rush job though i will admit that. again. finished out of Spite.#okay okay now that i'm done complaining. about the piece itself i feel like i have to say#THE CHARACTERIZATION... IS SO PEAK SILLY HERE I LOVE IT SO MUCH. ESPPP SHARENA#sharena just being a yes man to moe. bc they're besties she HAS to be in its corner and defend its good name!!! 😤😤😤#moe just. being oppositional just for the sake of it. guy who loves to just Say Things so long as it gets a good reaction.#(CAN GO. SO POORLY FOR IT.)#alfonse.#i just loooove... putting guys in situations... it's soooooo fun#fe plumeria#sharena#fe alfonse#moe tag#summoner oc#my art#my comics
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I know most of our focus goes (rightfully) to the trial songs, but I genuinely believe Baptism of Fire is equally a masterpiece of meaningful writing and intense vocal acting
Incoming tag rant because I need to yell about this, feel free to yell back
#milgram#fuuta kajiyama#like the other vds have good writing about the character and whatever social issue their crime focuses on#but this one is very pointedly about YOU#its about the audience. its about the milgram project. its about self reflection. its about self-appointed roles. its about you#even if you didnt vote t1 or anything the whole things is calling on you to reflect on your own judgements of others#how you treat people who come off rougher. how you treat people who have made a (bad but) common mistake.#do you also find entertainment in seeing people dragged down and suffering because it would 'serve them right?'#but es always remains in control of the situation. the drama doesnt end with 'and fuuta was right - you guys suck!'#its clarified that situations are different and have nuance. we are reminded to look at things with nuance.#then we are smoothly re-immersed in the story#and then!! the acting itself!!!#arthur lounsbery put his whole fussy into that performance (<- fuuta pussy) and i am in his debt every day for it#in both his vds hes just super expressive and fun to listen to#i dont understand japanese but he packs so much interesting intonation and emotion into every word -- im obsessed listening to him#he nails all the subtle emotions fuuta has: the pouts and outrage as well as underlying fear grief insecurity and immaturity#and then baptism of fire hes just... Wailing#like mahiru has her innocent and pathetic cries of pain in her sweet voice that works for her character but fuutas pain feels much more raw#the way hes practically sobbing at the end -- his voice cracking and screeching throughout -- the whimper of pain#its so unbearably intense!! it hurts!! and its supposed to!! but hes just so raw with it#and dont even get me started on his pained hysteric laughter omg....#its just. a masterpiece.#i always appreciate the vds but i dont think ive enjoyed/relistened to one as much as this one#okay WAIT im back to add one more thing because im obsessed with ths idea of intentions#specifically in milgram i think the intention behind the murders are very important to consider#so i love love love the huge focus on 'i didnt expect/mean for this to happen'#plus as a general theme in fiction i think its sooo juicy when good intentions get fucked up#so i loved the repetition of that#fuuta is such a special case because he genuinely had no desire or expectation for his victim to die#(maybe kazui too? but he doesn't say so in his vd like fuuta does)
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There is a very exquisite agony in playing a game you love so so so so so much, and realizing that one of the other players is trying to play a totally different game than you.
#hush frenchy#we went to the coffin shop today in vallaki#and our rogue triggered combat SIMPLY because he didn't want to leave the house without looting every single room#to clarify: WE HAD ACHIEVED OUR OBJECTIVE#we literally just needed to get out#but the rogue's player was like cmoooon its no fun to leave without looting everything we can get our hands on#now everything we're doing has gone to absolute shit#and to clarify: its going to be very interesting!!#and I feel like I would've been just fine with the result#IF it had been for any other reason besides that this one player seems to think that we're in a video game#like if there had been some kind of character motivation? or genuine concern that we were missing a piece of something we were looking for?#totally fine!! love that in fact!!#but just stealing shit because 'you're the rogue' feels... idk.#it just feels like it's a totally different game than the rest of us are playing#and now we ALL have to deal with the consequences#i just. urgh. i do not know what to do#i am gonna talk to the dm and see if she noticed the same thing as me#and try to brainstorm we the players can do to impart a sense of balance for people with different play styles#but i just feel like despite repeated efforts by the dm to be like hey this is a game for exploration and character engagement#the player is just ignoring that and doing Whatever He Feels Like#ANYWAY SORRY RANT OVER#I'm just really in love with this game and having one really thorny part is just HNG#positive note: the wizard whipped out alter self and thought he was the coolest guy in the whole world#despite repeatedly missing in combat#it was very cute and i wish Wyn wasn't absolutely certain that she was about to die#because she would absolutely stroke his ego about it simply to see him preen#the fighter was also very sweet and keeps working so hard to protect wyn#and since I'm a fighter in my other game i know where to put myself to make it easier for him so there's a lot of synergy#IT'S JUST VERY CUTE AND NICE AND GOOD. I LOVE THEM BOTH A LOT
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And now Fernando in all his historical AUs !!
In order with relevant info: Nandopoleon Alonsoparte(x), King Fernando I(x), Napoleonic Hussar(x)
Again: let me know your favorite <3
#i spent so much time on these. and i think my hand is going to crumble up and fall off#like way too many hours but hey very very fun!! :) so its okie :D#him in the king au is just the most ostentatious man to ever exist#maybe when i draw the actual painting ill put more work into thr embroidery#but on such a small scale....idk it kinda looms like bananas LMAO#nandopoleon is so comforting to me. this is actually the first time ive actually drawn him wow#but like i just mean the napoleon pose and outfit. very familar territory to me!!#hussar fernando caused me much mental anguish but i forgive him(the pose......)#and this is the first time ive drawn fernando I with color so i think it turned out well?#hussar AU is so general i love it. i could draw any driver in it please ask me!!!(as if i draw ever rly draw anyone other than seb and nano#these are fun and good and i love them and i love him and i am feeling unparalleled creativity rn and its joyful#fernando alonso#f1 fanart#formula 1 fanart#formula 1#f1#catie.art.#*oops also! hope its at least a bit familar what event hussar fernando is a reference to!!#hussar au#boy king au#nandopoleon alonsoparte
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suggestion do you have... any wants? like obviously you do but like? suggestion my guy my ourple boy. both the easiest and hardest to write. you need a skill to say something to move conversation along but it doesn't fit any skill in particular? about 80% of the time you can have suggestion say it and it will make sense. but like actually characterizing him... how do i define you dude... what makes your character tick... urgh. i dont get you yet. im trying to understand but you are difficult.
#chemi chats#there are some skills that i just dont understand yet and that just means i have to work on their character study chapter#im reading his bio and i think suggestion is a good manipulator and it's instinctive and he tries not to feel bad about it?#he's clever!! charming!! friends with savvy and drama. planting seeds in the mind and coaxing them to grow towards him like he's the sun.#a crude oil reservoir lying beneath a carefully laid flower bed. taps into the roots. the plants don't know any better than to drink.#he's great at sensing what makes people tick and uses that to his advantage. he needs goals to look forward to so he knows how to best#pull the strings to get them there. otherwise he's a bit aimless. he likes being useful. and since influencing others is helpful#he just keeps doing it? because it's what he's good at. and he tries to convince himself its fun and cool and just cuz hes charming and#it's his role as a skill and manipulation isnt thaaaat bad because it's helpful to them after all... but he does feel bad sometimes.#oh im listening to his voice lines and i just got to ''brother you should have put me in front of a firing squad'' and im sad about him now#but what do you want for short term little guy?? probably for people to like him. he likes chatting with people. i bet he'd like genuine#conversations with no strings attached but there's always some part of him filing information and tidbits away that he can't turn off#subconsciously figuring out things he can hold over them or how he can nudge them into thinking someth-/wait.../ no. no he's just talking.#he's /supposed/ to just be talking stop analyzing them stop falling back into that just have a normal conversation!! but he can't help it..#hm. this is all really helpful for his chapter. he and empathy are very alike but also different. very interesting...#task: swept up#okay good talk everyone i think i understand him a little better now lmao?? still gotta figure him out some more hes not fully there but ye#also i think he goes by whatever pronoun you think he'd use. just ''oh what do /you/ think i am hm?? what /would/ i use; do you think?? :)'#funny fella. i love you.
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hey beloved mutual have you picked a fallen london ambition yet. if so which one is it. asking both out of curiosity and out of curiosity
OH!! I'm SO glad you asked bc I finally started the Heart's Desire ambition for Vaine :]
not very far along in it by any means- but I think he is going to have SO much fun with this ambition I feel like a desperate scramble to investigate and participate in the mysterious (and kinda sketchy) card game is just what he needs
though I think he is pretty annoyed at the moment, he is. not having a fun time trying to get all 77 of those first city coins. he is running out of criminal favors and does NOT like that fucking monkey
#nebbles talks#fallen london#the monkey makes him significantly nervous but he is tolerating it. for now#he also HATES how long this is taking but thats fine he needs to learn some patience anyways#im having a blast on the other hand. still trying to figure out how and/or where to get a lotta these items/favors#but i am having such a fun time with it :]#i feel like the epitome of the fl experience is if ur Silly Victorian Guy isnt having a good time then YOU absolutely are#like. we are putting this guy into SO many situations#but yeah! Hearts Desire looks like a lotta fun#and i think itll work very well for Vaine rp wise too#not that he can actually remember exactly WHAT he desires at the moment#but. the yearning. its there for suresies#and he'll do just about anything to fill that great big yearning void in his chest
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you only wanna be the one that i call baby :(
ten days ago i said something about this edit on twitter and then didn't make it. hyperfocus hit so hard last night and i finally made it
#yapping in the tags because i don't want to yap on twitter or tiktok and i don't like posting on Instagram so no yapping there#I'm really happy with how this came out#like it's not my best work. at all#but it's been almost two months since i made an edit with so many effects#and four since the last one that i actually liked#this one i feel like. despite how stiff it is and how weird the graphs are. is still pretty good#especially for not editing really anything but some text & color correcting on some wips in about nine days#could this edit be better? yes#am i content with how it is? also yes#i might come back to it one day but for now. i like it how it is#ALSO . IDK IF THAT EDIT IS HERE BUT YES. I AM ALWAYS GOING TO PUT#'me' OVER THAT CLIP OF BRIAN & JOHNNY#ITS SILLY AND FUN TO DO#2024#edit#fancam#avenged sevenfold#a7x#johnny christ#july
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also like i partially found out i might be intersex because i was looking at trans stuff and there was like "(however many) months on t and finally seeing some bottom growth" and like pictures of t-dicks and i was like.... um.... that's kind of just what my clit looks like anyways. so i was like "hey google give me a quick rundown on this" and learned what clitoromegaly was and then i was like. hm. intersex resources. and it's like a sign? symptom? side-effect? of certain intersex conditions
#i mean like pcos runs in the mums side of my family but i dont have all the symptoms of that#i do also have like. more hair?? than the average afab person#like dark hair on my stomach and chest and back#and my face. whats disappointing about the face hair is that it isnt enough to be able to grow a beard#so i cant even fuck with gender that way#tagging as nsft just because of like genital mention#genital mention#nsft#shoutout to transmascs on t who show their t-dicks on the internet it was really helpful#also i dont know how to describe it but like. my natural face shape is kind of masculine??#like it would be plausible for a cis amab perisex man to have my face without looking feminine#if you get what im saying??#if it sounds like im reinforcing sex or gender essentialism please say i am struggling to find words#unshoutout to the boys in primary school who made fun of me for having hair under my arms and starting a whole decade of insecurity-#-about having hair on my body lmao#for the record i dont think certain face shapes are indicative of gender and all im just going by like. patterns?? in afab vs. amab faces#also not that i think afab vs. amab is the entire categorisation of human sex characteristics but um. working with what vocab i have here#i think what also really kicked it off. was relating to a fair few experiences intersex people have socially#particularly intersex ppl who were afab and faced a lot of pressure to make their bodies conform to feminine beauty standards#and it was like.... oh lol.... my mum did that to me!!#it comes from her own internalised shit bc she has pcos (idk if she identifies as intersex even tho she could if she wanted) but still.#dont project that onto a 10 yr old lmao. she keeps buying me hair removal products#ALSO floored by an experience i have. in which apparently half my friends dont feel pressure to shave their legs#because the hair on their legs is like. light and thin and barely visible and i was like?? huh??#what do you MEAN your legs don't look like your brothers/fathers if you dont shave??#im starting to think they dont shave their arms. their arms might just naturally not have a load of hair#i dont shave my arms though. cannot be bothered with that and also like. why would i do that#also you know that like. happy trail i think its called?? on “men's” stomachs??#yeah i have that naturally yeah thats right im naturally sexy#if you cant tell i am putting “girls” “mens” “boys” “womens” etc. in quotes to indicate that is just the normal society way of saying it
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it's hard to drive a perfect racing line when you're in an RWD 425 BHP car and it is raining, sometimes it's better to take it easy because a crash will costs you seconds and pushing your brake a little so you take the corner slower will only loose you fractions of a second
#I am playing dirt rally and i DIED!#i am playing a daily and i fell into a tree and broke my wheels!!!!!#that porsche in scotland#they were planning to murder me#i think everyone should play dirt rally 2.0#because oh how fun a car game i will go fast#and then you just end up crashing#and failing#and you realize#oh my god#this is so much harder than i thought#and people are so much better than me#and then you realize how much work someone put in to take every corner you struggle with at baller speeds#WHAT IM SAYING ITS VERY HUMBLING AND ALSO CAR AND ITS COOL CAUSE I LIKE BIG LOUD CARS GOING FAST THROUGH FORESTS AND MOUNTAINS#hehe big engine#but seriously#i love this game#i genuinely feel like i started looking at my art in way healthier way ever since i played this game#just realized that#it's ok to not be the best and to struggle with something#it's kinda the whole fun of it#figuring it all out and putting in the time to get better#that's the secret to having fun
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Just said "sheesh, Kenna, you're the smartest person I know" out loud while reading your tags on the FMA Truth and Ed's atheism post. Then I realized that Indiana probably doesn't care as much for this information as you might lolol
honestly i'd originally written a really annoying ramble about gods in fiction under that post and now i'm so glad i deleted it to write that much more succinct breakdown of my thoughts on the matter
#I have such a ramble I could go on in every single direction of this topic because this is the stuff i think long and hard about#but im not even sure which part of my tags impressed you lmao#i feel like im just constantly shouting 'theres nuance!' about an issue which has#in fact truly deeply caused a lot of pain and hurt in the world! so like of course people dont want to see the nuance!#and they dont need to! thats a thing for me to have fun thinking deeply about - if its a cause of strife dont even worry about it!#i am actively working on a story right now where the 'gods' are knowingly lying and manipulating the mortal population#but like. they can't not. because they're not 'gods' as is all-knowing all-powerful supposed-to-reward-the-good-punish-the-bad#i think because thats a kind of god referred to in stories that im disinterested in. its boring and also comes with so much baggage#im way more interested in 'gods' as in creators. and thats it. i made this planet but thats all i can do. i cant fix it#or i made this ocean. i cant stop you from drowning in it i can just make ocean#and i'd never thought of it in terms of the laws of physics but like YEAH ACTUALLY. gravity as a god. i pull things together#you NEED to fight it sometimes! it kills you and it keeps you alive and there's no morality to it!#im also interested in gods as like. alien consciousnesses. like if there was a guy out there and he gave you life but#if you looked at him he would blind you and if you touched him he'd vaporize you#like just take all the physics and reality of the sun and put it in a person-shape and give it a voice#like again theres no morality to the sun! but once we personify things like that we start putting morality and baggage on them!#anyway im rambling lmao i could go on for hours. i just loved the idea of Truth as god just like Gravity as god
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#so far in my sporadic picking away at various manga series i feel i have the weirdest reader relationships with JJBA and Attack on Titan#when reading JJBA i am not really that invested in the characters or even whats happening to them and yet i still never decide to dnf it#and i dont even know what it is that keeps me reading except that its just very unique i suppose?#such an odd combo of different things that somehow manages to eventually have its own sorta cohesive logic and charm#also the art is just fun. its ornate and goofy and macho and flamboyant and gross#but as soon as i put it down i stop thinking about it too#and dont feel like picking it up again for at least several more days#with attack on titan i found the art style mostly really bad at first ngl#it reminded me of awkward drawings a high schooler would make like the inconsistentness#of like there are good action poses here but the people also look weird ugly bland and stiff and the backgrounds are often so empty#idk i was feeling pretty blah about it but something about how starkly straight-forward the story is was interesting to me#where its literally exactly what you heard its just#theres a bunch of humanoid giants attacking our city#and we have to stop them. that's it#and also the awkwardness of the art style i find works extremely well when it comes to the titans#like they are genuinely creepy to me. and they do actually feel massive the way theyre drawn. and the mystery around them interests me too#anyways im like 60% through part 1 of jojo(also read most of part 4 a few years ago) and only on vol 3 of AoT#but yeah those are the 2 series i have the most mixed feelings about so far#wouldnt say i love or hate either of them but still also continue to want to find out more#13readsmanga#p
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well this is what ive been doing for the past 2 weeks
#sorry for using chrome. drive sucks on firefox. i use firefox for everything else. literally it's open right next to this for other shit#so what im doing is making a list of every creature you ever encounter in dai (that part is complete. it took a week)#and making note of its important stats and now its chance of each elemental immunity with the walk softly trial on#because i am genuinely planning that solo nightmare all trials run and the most important thing is making sure i can actually hit everythin#you will notice that NOTHING is EVER immune to spirit damage. that is due to a bug that i personally discovered in the trial implementation#the only creatures that can gain immunity to spirit through the trial are cretahl and hurlock alphas (only the ones in the descent)#and the only creatures naturally immune to spirit are in dlc (mostly trespasser but some in the other dlc too)#so basically what this means is that you NEED spirit runes lmao. or i guess runes to damage specific types of enemy#the least likely immunity of the three core elements is electric which is good because chain lightning is VERY powerful for solo runs#you've just gotta be mindful of hitting yourself because friendly fire WILL be on for this run fml#oh so those percentages arent technically correct. they're inflated for most creatures#for normal-ranked creatures (rank 0) there's a 20% chance they'll be promoted to elite (rank 1) and then all elites--#(whether promoted to elite or already elite) have that chance of immunity. so you can divide them by 5 for normal-ranked creatures#except for the 100% ones. those are from preexisting immunities#yes im putting way too much thought into all of this. i went into the all trials and the solo nightmare runs without doing too much work#it's just that on nightmare you get FULL immunities and with no companions you've gotta make sure you can deal with that#because you might end up in a situation where you just cant damage something AT ALL#(a good reason to diversify your abilities. also you CAN damage them it's just capped at 1 damage per hit)#and no abilities that decrease resistances help because an immunity is +1000% resistance and nothing comes close to getting that under 100#im having fun at least. i wouldnt keep doing this if it was too boring#some of it has been tedious (especially going through some of the areas with dozens of the same enemy) but ultimately feels worth it#the spreadsheet has 5678 lines ftr. fortunately around 2.5k are npcs so i dont have to do anything more with them#anyway. i usually post about what da-related thing im up to every now and then and it's been ages so i thought id give an update lmao#personal#da#dai#undescribed#there are also a lot of interesting things like. you'll see that poison spiders CANT be immune to nature damage#and that's because it wont apply an immunity if the creature is already immune to that element OR its associated effect#so poison spiders arent immune to nature damage but they ARE immune to poison so they wont gain nature immunity from the trial
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