#and its exhausting :( it puts your body under a lot of stress and takes away all of your energy

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

.

[actual-changeling]

i thought about the end scene of 'beyond the sea' too many times and this is the result. mulder is so soft with her for the entirety of the episode, and it drives me insane.

first ficlet i've ever written for these two, so hopefully i got their voices right.

—

Mulder's hand against her arm is warm and comfortably heavy, a tether keeping her close enough to the ground to not drift away like she's been prone to do for the last few days. When her eyes flutter shut on their own accord, Scully doesn't fight it, all too aware of the hours of sleep she hasn't been getting.

Between fragmented nightmares about her father and the feeling of blood under her fingernails—Mulder's, dried and darkened no matter how hard she scrubbed—the last time she got more than twenty minutes at a time was before she saw her father's ghost in the flickering television light. The regular beeping of the machines echoing through the hospital room calms her somewhat; they're familiar sounds, no matter how far from medical school she might have ended up.

"Maybe you should head home, get some rest," Mulder suggests softly after an extended period of amicable silence, slightly squeezing her shoulder before reclaiming his hand. Her fingers twitch against the sheets as she fights the urge to chase after him, her body suddenly oddly cold. When she opens her eyes again, she catches him staring at her with concern clouding his gaze.

"I'm fine." 

It's a reflexive answer, a lie she keeps telling even though they are both aware she's everything but.

"I know," he replies, smoothing his palm down her arm until he can gently take her hand, and the chill disappears as quickly as it has arrived. "The last couple of days have just been a lot, and you deserve a break."

The noise is out of her mouth before she can stop it—something between a dismissal and a sob, tinged with bone-deep exhaustion. Even if she were to go back to an apartment full of Christmas decorations and unwanted quietude, she wouldn't be able to get any rest at all; not with guilt sitting on the bottom of her lungs and fear poisoning her breaths.

Scully tightens her grasp on his hand and turns to watch his heartbeat weave its way across the monitor. Alive, it whispers, over and over and over. 

Alivealivealive, and no thanks to her. 

She thought about it a few times, only when the darkness seemed entirely ubiquitous and the sleep deprivation spun webs across her ceiling, if maybe her choice to join the FBI, to go against her father's wishes, to put her life on the line while the distance between them grew—if all the stress she caused him somehow made her responsible for his death. 

No matter what she tries to tell herself, her father will still be dead, and Mulder will still be injured because she allowed him to run off alone despite Bogg's warnings. She had known without wanting to that he was going to get hurt, and yet. Always too little, too late.

"…Dana."

A tug on her arm rips her back out of her mind, and the worry carved deep into Mulder's face tells her that he has been trying to get her attention for longer than she can simply shrug off; she attempts to smile anyway and fails miserably.

"Whatever it is you're blaming yourself for, you're wrong."

"Mulder—"

He releases her hand in favour of cupping her cheek exactly as he had days ago in their office, and she relaxes into it without wanting to, the touch warm and comforting.

"If you don't want to go home, at least close your eyes for a little," he smiles for the two of them, his thumb caressing her cheekbone. Whatever protest she was about to utter dies on her tongue, so she simply nods. Mulder pulls back slightly to invitingly lift his arm, and for once, Scully doesn't even pretend to need time to consider it. 

God, she is beyond tired. 

She toes off her shoes and lies down on the scratchy hospital sheets, conscious of his injury as she carefully fits herself against his side. With her cheek resting on his chest and one palm above his heart, Scully closes her eyes and enjoys the comfort of Mulder holding her like she is doing him a favour. 

His fingers trace slow patterns up and down her back, and when she feels him press his lips to her hair, she inches impossibly closer in silent thanks.

The day bleeds from her limbs, and little by little, the tension in her aching muscles dissipates until only exhaustion and a familiar sense of safety remain. For the very first time since waking to see her father's ghost in her living room, sleep comes easily and remains completely dreamless. 

Mulder keeps her wrapped in his embrace and rests easier than he has in years.

[peachfridges]

Heyyyy how are you?? can I request a price x reader? 😭 TYSM

have a good day/night

late that night

summary: you return back from a mission and find yourself going straight to a certain man.

cw: fluff, pre-established relationship, can be read platonically tbh, price is a worrier, mentions of light injuries

pairing: john price x reader

word count: 558

notes: hey anon! i’m doing really well thanks <33 stressed over the mw3 trailer and wtf is gonna happen to soap and price?! i’m so sorry for taking so long to post this but i took a break from writing for a tad too long and now i’m struggling again lololol. ghost request hopefully (fingers crossed fr) will be finished soon but enjoy this short one for the time being!

exhaustion laced every muscle as you dragged your aching body through the base. it was quiet, peaceful almost. there wasn’t many people around, it was late at night and you knew that most would either be asleep or finishing off paperwork for previous missions. that was what you were supposed to be doing right now: paperwork. after spending four days on a ruthless mission that had taken a toll on you more than you cared to admit, you weren’t even given a chance to rest without having to relive the events of the last few days.

you decided it wouldn’t be tonight that you would do it. being a sergeant did in fact have its perks in a job like this. instead, your legs carries you in a familiar direction, one you took more often than you probably should, for one reason or another.

entering the rec room, you saw ghost finishing off his last mission’s report. happy to finally see someone you knew, you got his attention, “hey ghost.”

his eyes met yours and he visibly relaxed, his rough manchester accent filling the atmosphere around the two of you, “hey y/n. long mission?”

you smiled knowingly, aware that your dark circles had only deepened since you had been away. “you could say that.”

he chuckled slightly and signed off his report, “if you’re going to see him, mind taking this with you? i would take it to him myself but i don’t want to interrupt the two of you.” he looked slightly apologetic with his request, but you appreciated his sentiment.

“of course, now go get some rest.” ghost nodded at your words and made his way to his room. you got changed into something more comfortable than your previous gear. you looked over yourself in the mirror, your dark circles were in fact worse, but the faint outline of a black eye was forming around one. you sighed, fingers reaching to your busted lip which had only recently stopped bleeding. bruises and scrapes cluttered your skin in countless different places, but you knew you’d gotten off a lot better than you could’ve done.

you sighed, but still continued on your previous path towards the captain’s office.

you knocked on his door before opening it gently, as price glanced up at you with a soft smile on his face. you instantly felt better at the sight of him, placing ghost’s report on his desk and sitting on the chair facing him. he took a quick glance through the lieutenant’s papers before placing them to the side. his eyes met yours once again and studied your face, concern glistening in his eyes as he noticed the visible injuries.

you picked up on his concern, quickly attempting to put his mind to rest, “i’m fine, john. been through worse and you know i have.”

he stands up and sighs deeply, your eyes following his movements. “i worry about you.”

“i know you do, but i’m fine. i mean it.” you reach over to him and hold his hand, feeling him relax under your touch. his chest was rising and falling more steadily, and his shoulders had fallen into a casual stance. you smiled as you stood up and hugged your captain. “can’t get rid of me that easily.”

price’s deep chuckle filled the room, “oh trust me, i know.”

[thesecretnight]

No Words Needed (Jing Yuan x Gender Neutral Reader)

Xianzhou Luofu has always been bustling with life. Starskiffs sailing through the area, the voices of vendors promoting their products, children laughing and screaming as they play, and the clicks of thousands of shoes as they walk or run to their destinations. 

No matter how repetitive and common the scenery may be, you can’t help but feel that lightness in your heart at seeing things as they are, the familiarity brings you comfort and somehow brings you joy.

Of course, civilization won’t be complete without its fair share of troubles, from a secret organization finding ways to attain immortality to the appearance of a Stellaron that sent their planet into a massive panic. 

The presence of the Astral Express Crew further cements how severe and dangerous their current situation is. Especially as a normal civilian, fear will spread throughout your body, not wishing to fall under the effects of the Stellaron.

While you were deep in thought, a pair of warm and strong arms wrap around you from behind, his fluffy hair tickling you as he buries his face on your neck, seeking comfort after another exhausting day. Jing Yuan’s position as the General is no easy feat and it got even more tiring with their current situation.

You two stay there, basking in each other’s warmth as you continue watching the city from the window of your shared room. The hug tightens and a deep sigh rings in your ears, he seemed more tired than usual and you took that as a cue to spoil him for the day.

The other made a noise of disappointment as you gently remove his arms from your waist, kissing him on the forehead as an apology before making your way to his wardrobe, picking something more comfortable. 

You can’t help but laugh softly as you feel his arms around you again. If anyone were to see this, it was like an overgrown cat clinging to its owner until they get what they want. You do not have the heart to pry him off you so you let him be, although moving is now a chore with the heavy weight on yours.

Your next destination is the bathroom, preparing a warm bath to relieve some stress from the General’s body. A few minutes passed and you had to poke and gently nudge him several times before he lets you go with a pout on his face, not wanting to separate from your warmth and figure. 

You roll your eyes at his childish tendencies but it would be a lie to say that his clingy side didn’t make you melt on the inside. The overgrown cat sinks into the warm bath as you untie his ponytail, letting his hair down. You can’t help but run your fingers through the fluffy goodness. It’s a comforting texture and Jing Yuan doesn’t seem to mind as he melts into your touch.

An amused smile forms on your lips and you got to work. Wetting his hair before putting an ungodly amount of shampoo on your hands, the fluff is long and thick so it takes a lot to make sure there’s soap on every strand. Your fingers made a massaging motion and you can sense his consciousness slowly slipping away.

You can’t help but shake your head in disbelief, happy to see him relaxing. You continue your job by rubbing soap on his neck and arms. Feeling his muscles on your fingers made your mind drift to a different territory but now is not the time. His soft grunts echo within the bathroom walls as you work your magic to relieve the stress from his arms and hands.

Satisfied, you tap his cheek and he slowly opens his eyes to meet yours. You gave him a look, silently telling him that he should do the rest on his own. Jing Yuan tried to convince you to do the rest for him but you stood your ground which resulted in him sulking. You almost gave in but you have other things to do. Maybe next time.

You dry your hands and returned to your shared room, you fix the bed and properly laid out his clothing on the sheets. You took out the scent diffuser from your closet and picked up the Jasmine essential oil. 

While preparing the diffuser, you almost shrieked at the wet arms making themselves comfortable around you. A deep laugh from the perpetrator made you roll your eyes and you quickly grab another towel before smacking it on his head. He made a surprised noise and you took that as a win as you slip out of his embrace. 

You let him dry himself and you finally finished preparing the scent diffuser, all that’s left is to wait for a few minutes. You turn around and was immediately greeted with a fluff of hair on your face, once again trapped in the arms of the overgrown cat.

You sigh in defeat, letting him cling to you. He was dry enough and he changed into more comfortable clothing. You two stayed like that for a while, exchanging soft kisses on each other’s foreheads, cheeks, and lips. The scent of Jasmine fills the room and you tapped his shoulder and pointed at the vanity.

With another kiss to your forehead, he obeys and sits in front of the mirror as you stood behind him and grabbed the brush. Slowly and gently, you untangle the knots in his hair and make sure it's all straightened out for you to freely run your fingers through the fluffy goodness with no obstacles. 

You nod in approval and he was about to cage you in his arms once more until you managed to evade him, you gesture to your partially wet clothing from helping him bathe and from his surprise attack several minutes ago. He grunts in response and decided to wait on the bed.

You walk to your wardrobe and took out matching pajamas and you try to ignore the piercing gaze on your figure as you change. You look back at him to see him staring at you with a grin. You feel your cheeks flush at the attention and you stuck your tongue out at him which he responded with a laugh.

Once you were near the bed, you yelp when strong arms pulled you in and you land on top of him. You look down at his proud self and you pinched his cheeks as a way to scold him. He can only laugh before he taps your hands as a sign of surrender.

You let out a huff and instead brushed his hair away for you to see his mesmerizing golden eyes. With a smile, you leaned down and pressed your lips against his, an arm wrapping around your waist while his free hand gently holds your neck to deepen the kiss. 

You two lazily exchanged kisses for a while, heat spreading through your bodies until you stopped before it went too far. For now, it’s best to hold back until everything has calmed down. He gently swiped his thumb across your lips to wipe off the hint of saliva and your cheeks heated up at the action.

You were about to roll off him but it seems he prefers to sleep with you on top of him. You relax and exchanged another forehead kiss before you both enter dreamland.

Between you and Jing Yuan, no words are needed especially when in need of the other’s warmth and comfort.

[xaharadesert]

Kidnapped MC Turned Bandit Leader - Headcanon Pt 3

Asra Alnazar x Reader

A/N: last part! I’m so fucking tired. Thank you to everyone who gave me vague and unspecified attention on my last post, it’s good motivation :) Please let me know if there are any spelling or grammar mistakes!

TW: every headcanon set for Asra ends in angst, and this is no exception

💙Asra💙

Now I’m not saying that Asra is the only person who would never stop looking for you if he knew you were kidnapped

But I am saying he would have the highest chance of actually finding you

And he knows this

Which is why it doesn’t even take him a day to pack up everything and start tracking you across the globe

Unfortunately, he’s only human, and needs to rest, so as long as your kidnappers are on the move, he’s still a step behind

But his spells and connection to you help him stay determined, even when he feels he’s not making any progress

Eventually he would fall behind, maybe by a week or two, during a more intense part of the voyage— maybe sailing across the sea, or commandeering some horses was what put your kidnappers ahead of him

Either way, there comes a time when he realizes that you’ve stayed in one place much longer than before

This is his chance to catch up, and he does his best, but he knows that it will still take time, and he can’t be reckless

A part of him is terrified that there’s a much more sinister reason for you to stay in one place so long, but he tries to keep those thoughts out of his head

He’s exhausted, physically and mentally, and now that the end of this ordeal is in sight, his body is ready to shut down and grant him the longest nap of his life

But he pushes himself just long enough to finally find you again

The relief he feels when he sees that you’re unharmed— and now apparently in charge of a group of bandits— is enough to quite literally knock him out

After the world’s longest nap, he wakes up and feels an equally strong rush of joy when he realizes that it wasn’t just a good dream

You seem genuinely happy, and he listens with equal feelings of confusion and happiness on your behalf as you tell him your side of the story

He tries to suppress any negative judgements he may feel toward your new friends; a friend of yours is a friend of his, but he still has a lot of worry than he now has nothing to do with

Asra asks if this is really what you want to do— travelling around with bandits is a dangerous life, and if you ever change your mind, it’ll be hard to settle down again

If you decide that this life isn’t for you, and that you’d really rather return home, he’s quick to whisk you away back to Vesuvia and its associated safety

He doesn’t at all blame you for the temporary life of crime; you were under stress, and honestly, as long as you weren’t harming the lower classes it’s none of his business

Needless to say, he’s not a fan of the bourgeoisie and encourages theft from the society’s most fortunate

He also makes sure to establish some sort of way to communicate with your bandit friends, in case you’d still like to keep up with them

It may not have been the best circumstances, but some of them seemed genuinely kind, and Asra’s grateful that they took care of you when he couldn’t

But if you truly want to stay with your new friends in the first place, then he’s right there with you

He’s always up for adventure, even if he’d rather take the more scenic routes

To be honest, he doesn’t really participate in a lot of the actual crimes, since he would much rather spend time with his own hobbies

(He’s a magician, after all; you can’t expect him to just abandon his magic practices in the name of a life on the run)

But he’s always waiting for you with open arms after your excursions

And if you ever decide to turn away from crime once more, he’s got a list ready of all the places you won’t be recognized

(If he’s being totally honest, he would rather the two of you have a steady home to return to. He can sleep much better knowing that you’re both safe and won’t purposefully be running into danger every other day)

Overall, Asra does his best to adapt to whatever life you decide to live. He has his own thoughts on living a more dangerous lifestyle, but he keeps them to himself

He feels like he owes you. This isn’t the first time he’s failed you, and he doesn’t think he’s done enough to earn your forgiveness for his earlier mistakes; the road to self redemption just seems to grow longer every time he messes up, and he’ll eternally be trying desperately to fix it

[poupeesdecirque]

General Update

Just a heads up, I mainly write for those who got snippets the last days and are maybe (quite) concerned and worried about me.

So, the last few weeks at work have been literal hell.

More under the cut, this gets long.

This week especially, we worked with 6 people understaffed (out of 16, might be not that bad if you work in an office but if you work with humans, especially children/toddlers even it's... difficult), I won't get much into detail but weeks we have the bi-weekly meeting mondays before work mess me up already but then 3 more people calling in sick made everything worse. It didn't help that my annual employee-feedback talk was coming up on wednesday and that turns me into a pile of anxiety of its own.

The tuesday in before had me crying in the bathroom at work after just 1,5 hours of a 8+ hour day without real lunch break (just fyi last summer I went down with hours to be less stressed... I got in more than two days worth of work in overtime the last month). I work there for 10 years and this is the 2nd time I cried and this time it was just because of the pure stress. I won't go into detail here but I went beyond my limit so often the last weeks I am merely a shell and just do creative things to cope somehow.

The annual talk went .... good. No, good is an understatement, it was one of the best I had, there is basically zero critique on how I work, boss is very satisfied and the only thing is that I am told to tell my coworkers when their decisions stress me. haha. yeah.

Then there is our street... it's a construction site since February but now the whole thing is closed down, last week I almost didn't manage to get to work bc they closed down another road and I had no way to get through left q_q...

The work week was just 3 days (luckily) and we went into a long weekend bc of the public holiday. I decided to take the thursday slow but, yeah I know it better, the point here is when you go from 200% to maybe 10% your mind will crash and that's what I got.

I am so under stress my body has no idea where to put it and tries everything, I can't sleep well, just for a few hours and then I am wide awake.

Aside that I am basically done with the redraw project which took me almost a year, then my fic 'Warmth' is done too, it's just one final scene and that's the epilogue with the final conclusion, I have been working on this for 2,5 years now and it's part of my evening routine.. the redraws are part of my morning routine... I changed a few more things and well I managed to mess up my entire routine but I NEED IT TO FUNCTION.

I felt it coming but well.. you guessed it right, depression hit me hard on friday evening (I have seasonal depression, it gets worse the longer the days become, higher temperatures are often enough to trigger it, then the lack of sleep, two big projects ending, etc) and yesterday before the con I didn't even want to go there despite the Con being the only thing keeping me going the whole week.

I'm exhausted, tired but sleeping doesn't work as my body is "I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO PUT THE STRESS". I am really mean towards myself and I am trying hard not to be an ass and we don't talk about the fact that I need days to like... put away the laundry, put groceries into the cabinets or have crafting materials scattered around everywhere. It's just a real mess in here.

Overall I just... pour energy into crafts bc I have no idea where to put it. I would love to just go for a good old inline skate round but I don't want to carry my skates through the landscape for 10 minuted bc we have no streets q_q;

I know I stacked on a lot and less would be better (heck I challenged myself to cook more variety again and ofc I got competitive with myself but went out of my comfort zone and then wasn't able to estimate things anymore... if you know me closer you know what that means), but right now it's about finding the balance here as when i do nothing it just ... gets worse.

Concluding this means I am on a tightrope with things and there is not much needed to make me fall (again). I have projects to work on, but I get too invested and then overdo it which means ~ more stress~ ... good thing I can't work on Lenalee unless the new zippers arrive and sewing in general is not really appealing to me.

But I prepped everything for sewing for her and Maple, I have cut parts for the Allen Clown Cosplay, even started the buttons (& remade those already bc first attempt left me unsatisfied), I made the cover for the next fic update but I don't want to post everything at once.

Don't forget the situation at work made me an expert in how to get a lot of shit done in very little time and to use every minute I have to get the most results out of the time I have. Slowing down is a real issue I have to learn.

This entry doesn't make much sense but if you have read until here just know I thank you for your attention. This month is mainly DGM themed everything as the series turns 20. I have photos with OC dolls queued up and once I have the mind for more sewing I will work on Maple.

There is cosplay progress from a while ago, cosplay photos, drawings, lots of doll progress from Kanda to come and in general some very pretty photos I am found of.

Oh and the travel blog regarding the HanaCon is written I will post it soon, maybe not today bc it's enough already.

[tentacledtherapist]

Dearest Lisa,

I have missed writing to you, but I have had what feels like the longest month of my life. It truly feels like my body is decaying away sometimes, and never do I get a break.

Only now, just before dawn, do I write to you, sitting under the low hanging aurora borealis that skirts farther south than normal today, deep in the wilderness on the other side of the country, as the fog clears over the lake. My only moment of peace, after I have been running and running and running, and I slow to a stop here and think of you. And I know it is time to write.

Things have been busy! Normally after a weekend where I am very active I need nearly a week to rest (as I mentioned my body is truly falling apart!) But I haven't had a single moments rest this month so the feeling like I am running is true to form. I've had business every single weekend and other business and doctors nonsense during the week. I'm preparing for a mild surgery next week (hence all my appointments) and since I won't be able to do anything while recovering I obviously had to make up for it in the month running up to it. Hopefully all goes well? If only I truly could just be stitched together and be done with it. Probably easier to deal with it that way, hobble along with a new leg or hand or whatever immediately rather then this fabled "bed rest" that's all the rage these days~! I did get some x-rays in preparation if you'd like to see them. Not exactly a face reveal but they're fun to look at that's for sure. (Is it weird I think my spine looks pretty? It's an experience to see your own Vertebrae.)

I really hope you're doing well. How has your project been going? I cannot wait for you to post the final result. Anything particularly interesting happen while I was away? I thought of you often even amidst the chaos!

Take care,

Your Creature

adam!

oh, creech, i missed you! i was worried. i hoped you were okay but i didn’t know what you were going through and i didn’t want to add to any potential stress so i figured i would just wait until you were able to talk again. i thought about you a lot, hoping you were well. i’m glad you are (at least relatively)

i get the struggle when it feels like your body is falling apart. just last year i spent every weekend in a different doctor’s office trying to figure out why my joints were suddenly shutting down. lots of poking and prodding and x-rays and MRIs and blood tests, i felt like a pincushion. (as it turns out, my white blood cells are hyperactive, and have been attacking the healthy tissue in my joints! i also have 1/3 of a thyroid cause of that!) i’m sorry you have to go through this all now. it’s exhausting and disheartening and monetarily draining to be constantly in and out of doctors offices. i’m glad you’ll be getting some rest at least post surgery. I hope it all goes well for you, i know how stressful surgery is

i would like to see x-rays, if you’d like to share them! i don’t think it’s particularly odd to think your own spine is pretty, it is a very cool series of bones. i wish my doctors had sent me copies of my MRIs and x-rays to hang onto, but all i have are memories…

my project has unfortunately been put on hold. i have all the pieces together but i have very little time to actually work on it. i’m in the final stages of my thesis as it stands right now, so i have only a few weeks to get it to its final draft of this stage! stressful stuff. in between working on my paper, i’ve also been spending time at the encampments on my campus. mine has been mostly peaceful because the mayor of my city has been very outspoken in calling off the police that my chancellor keeps calling in, but it is scary. i’ve had a gun pointed at me in a school environment multiple times, but it doesn’t get less intimidating. regardless, i refuse to stand by while israel commits genocide “in my name” just because i’m jewish or whatever (even though that’s very clearly not their motivation nor is it any of the other things they’re spouting.)

i didn’t get lucky enough to see the aurora, unfortunately. it supposedly was visible as far south as where i live, but i wasn’t able to see it through light pollution and cloud cover. i have photos from some friends farther north, but i didn’t get to see it myself

it must have been beautiful

- Your Lisa

[jamesandmatthew]

Chapter 13. Socialising

Matthew took James' shoes off as he sipped his measured standard drink wine.

"We have to go out tonight," he told him. "So I hope you've gotten out of this mornings mood or im going to leave you at home."

"Yes, Sir."

"Very grumpy thing lately. You still have your collar on. You can take it off now. You're definitely not wearing it out."

Matthew looked disappointed.

"People will see."

Matthew sighed.

James grunted and leaned forward, unfastening and removing it himself. He threw it on the coffee table.

Matthew rubbed the bare skin on his neck.

"Matthew, listen," James started. Matthew sat on his heels looking up at him. "The other mornings discussion.. when you told me what you wanted …I've been thinking about it all day." 

Matthew smirked at him.

"What was it really about?" James asked. "The violence stuff?"

"Nothing."

"I think it was. I think you like hurting yourself to punish yourself. What are you hurting yourself for?"

"I'm not. I like it," Matthew said bowing his head.

"You want me to hurt you? You cut yourself. You've told me you wanted to kill yourself. I think there might be a connection."

"It's not like that..."

He looked at Matthews bowed head, his hair in his face. He put his hand on Matthew's shoulder squeezing it comfortingly.

"Is there a connection, Matthew?"

"…No! They're completely different things. Two very separate things!"

"Do you want to hurt yourself? Be treated badly."

"Just when I'm stressed."

"Tell me why, Matthew."

Matthew looked up at him. "It makes the stress go away. It feels good to hurt. It cuts out the fog and I like the rush of it. It clears my head, like a brain reset. Bruising feels nice. You know all this!"

"..Is that all?"

"Yes I like it," Matthew said defensively. "A lot."

"I don't think this is just you being a masochist. I think this is…do you like all this because you like punishing yourself for something?"

Matthew shrugged. "Maybe. But I do really like it."

"Do you feel happy after you get hurt? Or do you feel a bit shitty?"

Matthew looked over at his collar.

"A bit of both but I do like feeling pain during sex. it makes everything… More. The high…the loss of self. The exhaustion. "

"Apart from that, What else do you like?"

"You know what I like!"

"I want you to say it. A review of sorts."

"Um…I like being helpful. I like being useful to you. I really like being useful to you. I like you patting me as you read. I love that. Those sorts of things. I like you taking control of me. I like you being rough."

"...But you like me being nice to you more, right?"

Matthew thought for a while. "…some times. But not when we're fucking. When you're doing something else, I like you stroking my hair. I like being a comfort. Like I'm your pet. I have a purpose and a place. Those things. It's soothing."

"Do you really want me to do all those other things to you?"

"Yes! Pain feels good. I like having control taken away from me. I being molested and held tight while you do it. It's relaxing. My mind goes away. Life goes away. It's a complete break from my brain. A little holiday where I don't have think about anything at all, just react without thinking. Automatic. Im not in charge of anything, not even my movements or my own body. Nothing. Everything taken away. Its so freeing. It's wonderful."

"Because you get pleasure out of it or…something bad."

"Pleasure. I like the intenseness of it. The adrenaline rush. It feels like what I imagine like running a marathon for 12 hours would be like. It shuts my brain off from all different rushes. .All that matters is how I feel. Reality goes away. and I'm exhausted afterwards. And happy."

"But you cry. Because you want to be hurt?"

Matthew sniffed.  "It's not like that. I do like it. I like you hurting me. I like suffering under you. I cried because it was intense and release. Real release."

"I'm not going to do it if it's just so you feel bad about yourself. I cant do that. I care about you, Matthew…you know that…right?"

Matthew shrugged. James brought his hand to his neck stroking him tenderly.

"I don't want to be responsible for you being miserable. Im not going to anything that makes you feel bad afterwards. I couldn't do that."

Matthew stared glumly ahead.

"Don't use me against yourself. I'm not going to be involved in any part of your self-destructive behaviour. All this was supposed to be a little bit of fun."

"You're not listening to me. I do like it." Matthew said quietly, leaning his head against his knee.

"I am listening,"James told him. "i'm also connecting dots."

"And ignoring what I'm saying," he mumbled. 

"As long as it's for pleasure," James told him. "I'm not going to do it if you're being horrible to yourself. You cried so much when we did that. It was hard to watch afterwards. It seemed traumatic...it felt traumatic. "

"It was from relief. It was good. I needed it."

"I don't think I could do that again."

James ran his hands through Matthew hair.

"I care for you, Matthew."

Matthew covered his face hearing that. James leaned forward and pulled Matthew up to sit on his lap. He saw there were tears. He wiped Matthews cheeks but Matthew hid his face from him with his hands.

"I know you don't care for yourself...but I do."

"Don't…"

Matthew wriggled in discomfort. James pulled his hands away from his face with difficulty. He kissed his forehead while holding his wrists.

"How about tonight we got to this thing with my friends, and we enjoy it. Just two people together. No Sir or boy, nothing like that. just two people, alright?"

Matthew nodded and smiled very unconvincingly.

"Come on, get cleaned up and dressed. We'll have some dinner then we'll go."

Matthew felt a rush of overwelming anxiety thinking about the party. Tears prickling.

James tried to kiss his lips but Matthew pushed away from him.

"Ok...I cant having you look like a disgrace in front of my friends. I want to show you off," James said, wiping stray hair away from Matthews face and then the tears that spilled. "So we better be happy and look nice to make people jealous, right? New shirt and trousers, ok?

Matthew smiled nodding knowing it was what James wanted.

"Hop off me and we'll get ready."

Matthew grabbed his shirt.

"Can you give me a flogging?"

James looked at him.

"Stress relief," Matthew explained.

James sighed.

Matthew's hands gripped his shirt tighter.

"This party, I don't want to go, I know you want me to, but it's stressing me out. I need…its so stressful. All those strangers. I need a clear head. Stress relief."

"I can't flog you at the party, you know."

"You could. Or spank me. I'm sure we slip outside in the dark…" Matthew's eyes bright. "Or you could discretely slap my face."

James ran his hands down his arms.

"Pinch yourself."

Matthew looked at him.

"If you really need to, you could pinch yourself at the party," James told him. "I give you permission just for the night. Just tonight. Not blood drawing hard, but it might help."

"Would you?"

"Pinch you?"

"Yes."

James stroked his arms. "I'll think about it. Now, Shower."

"Spanking."

"Shower."

"Spanking."

"Shower. Now"

Matthew got off his lap and threw himself over James' legs, getting himself comfortable and raising his bottom.

"Spanking. Now." Matthew demanded cheekily, wiggling his bottom.

James sighed, smiling. "So demanding and needy!"

Matthew wiggled his bottom again.

"Spanking now, please Sir!" Matthew called.

James chuckled. "Very demanding."

"Hard please. Not one of your light little smacks and it's over either. I want a proper spanking. Hard."

"Oh I see," James murmured, shuffling himself and Matthew into a comfortable position and putting his hand firmly on his back. "Needy, demanding and bratty."

He smacked his bottom.

*

Matthew watched James talking to his friends, talking about things he didn't understand and know of.

He felt invisible but completely exposed at the same time. He felt stupid, out of place, insecure, and unsafe around so many people at the party. He scraped his fingernails over his wrist.

He watched in wonder, James mixing with other people with an air of confidence, and a little bit of arrogance that he liked so much. He drank a lot, argued a lot, and smiled very little around other people. 

Matthew took great glee from the grumpy, serious, piercing stares James gave people as they spoke to him. Giving them all of his attention while silently judging them.

He knew that look, he loved that look. That look made him do whatever James wanted of him immediately. That look took his breath away. He kind of missed seeing that look all the time. He smiled more lately.

Matthew would have thought James had forgotten he was there if it weren't for the hand on his back constantly. Matthews anchor. His fingers spreading wide across his spine when he was talking to someone or urging him to walk with him, offering him another drink or passing appetisers but generally letting him be silent by his side. A little shadow. He liked feeling invisible but felt inferior around his friends. He pinched himself.

That was until Iris arrived to greet James. They kissed each other cheeks, James removing his hand from Matthew's back to place it on Iris' shoulder. They whispered into each other ears for a long time before James chuckled.

Iris eyed James suspiciously before smiling at Matthew.

"Matthew, hello."

Matthew tried to be friendly and smiled. "Hello."

"You remember Iris don't you?" James asked him. "It's her birthday."

Matthew nodded trying not to think about his condesending tone.

They continued talking without including Matthew anymore before Iris was ushered away to receive a present.

James looked at Matthew before draining his champagne glass, looking around.

All night James didn't speak to him much, just smiling in a strange way to him and touching his back. Matthew was rarely spoken to and when he was, he felt spoken down to.

Donald arrived, saw Matthew and shaking his hand, looking him in the eyes warmly. Matthew felt for the first time of the night a little relaxed.

"How are you, Matthew? Everything ok?"

"Everythings fine," James said for him.

"It's nice to see you here," he said to Matthew. "I hope you've been well?" Matthew nodded, not sure what to say back.

"He's not making you work behind the bar?"

Matthew shook his head a little embaressed.

Donald and James began speaking about people and subjects he didn't know about and Matthew was forgotten about again.

It was towards the end of the night, when they were stand at the back of a crowd while there were speeches that James grasped his hand and really looked at him.

"Are you having a good time?"James asked him.

"I feel like a child at an adults party."

"...maybe you are?"

Matthew scowled at him which made James smile.

"We'll go home soon."

Matthew wrapped both his hands around James' arm. "Please?"

Matthew leaned his head against his arm, wrapped his hands around his elbow, pressing his face into him. James ruffled his hair watching everyone clap at the end of the speech before another speech started.

James stood watching everyone until a stranger came up to them.

"James…"

"Harry."

James untangled Matthew from his arm to shake Harry's hand.

"Been a long time."

"...yes. yes "

Harry pointed at Matthew.

"...and who's this here?"

"Matthew…he's.. He's a friend of mine."

"Hmm... Well..."

Harry raised his brow at him. Matthew moved a little behind James again, one hand gripping his own wrist that was holding the back of James suit jacket.

"You've been solo at these things for a while."

"...yes."

"Where's that lovely young dark haired girl you used to turn up with?  Where is she?"

"We broke up a few years ago, as you know."

"Oh... that's a shame…She was lovely…"

"Yes, she was."

"Still, it's nice to see you despite being solo. Though… with… erm… a friend."

Iris appeared poking Harry in the ribs.

"Matthew arrived one night out of the blue when Duckie and I were at James' house. He seemed to have adopted him."

"...Oh really?"

"I'm looking after him,"James explained pained.

"He looks old enough to look after himself, how old are you, son?"

"Twenty two," Matthew replied quietly.

"Twenty two?" Harry's brows went nearly to the height of his toupee. "oh dear…well…that's...that's…"

"Its nice to see James with someone though, right?" iris said jabbing Harry again.

"With a boy?" Harry asked surprised turning to her. She smiled forcefully at him.

"People our age shouldn't be picky, Harry. If only we could all…experiment."

"I didn't realise you were…you know…you never seemed..."

"James here? Oh you don't know James then!"

James rolled his eyes. "Enough."

Iris put her hand on Matthew's shoulder. "he's a lucky man. If only I was your age again."

"Its not stopping James," someone else said behind their backs.

James turned around and eyed them, as hr reached around pulling Matthew to his side protectively, an arm around his middle. Matthew held James tightly wanting to burrow into him to leave the situation.

"You're joking with me, James," Harry whispered to him.

James shook his head slowly.

"You're…you're…with?"

James looked him straight in the eye angrily.

"You've never...you'd never…it's a bit…"Harry started. "its not really…oh, James…"

"What?" James asked sharply.

"James its all a bit…"Harry wrinkled his face up. Matthew shrunk behind James to avoid Harry's sight again. Matthew ran his fingernails on his neck under his ear scratching.

"Its all a bit what?"

"He's only…and hes a …."

"Hes a man, yes."

"Oh james that's… that's just…"

"Ugh Harry, enough."

"But you never were…like this…were you? All that living alone…maybe you could have…?"

"How's your sex life, Harold? How many times do you and the missus do it per a week?"

"James," Donald warned him as he joined Iris.

"No. He questions my sex life, I have a right to question his! You cheered me on with Samantha but Matthew is considered wrong?"

Harry held his hands up. "Samantha was a lovely lady-"

"She wasn't much older than Matthew."

"But James, it's the…"

"Times have changed, Harold."

"He's a boy!"

"He's not a boy. He's a man. And yes, men, males, cock. sucking dick and anal sex."

Harold wrinkled his face up at the vulgarity. James pulled Matthew infront of him, holding him tight against him. Matthew's fingers went to his own throat. He dug his fingernails into his skin. It was too much tension. He wanted to run but James held him tightly by his shoulder and waist. His hand on his shoulder pulling Matthews hand away to stop him scratching his neck, holding it to stop it going back to his skin.

"It doesn't matter to me, Harold. Matthew is wonderful company. I happen to think he's quite attractive, and there's no doubt about him keeping me occupied in bed." He gripped Matthew's chin, turning him and forced a long passionate kiss on Matthew's lips.

"Oh stop it, both of you" Iris told him. "Every time you talk to each other you both find something to get into an argument about," Donald commented. "Harry, remember he has eyes and ears. Mind what you are saying infront of Matthew."

Harold walked away giving them a look of disgust.

James smeared his lips over Matthew's stubble on his cheek and ran his hand through Matthew's hair, holding him close to him. Matthew looked worried and uncomfortable. James stroked his neck tenderly as he stared at Harolds back.

"Awful fucking bastard,"James muttered.

"You're upsetting Matthew, James. Stop it," Donald told him as he looked apologetically at Matthew distraught face.

"Harry was the one that started it."

"And now you're acting like you're younger than Matthew."

"I'm going to go now."

"You don't have to go-"

"No, I think its best that I do. I've had enough. Duckie. Bye Iris, happy birthday "James fumed and pulled Matthew away with him.

"James!"Donald called exasperated turning to Iris waving his hands in annoyance.

"I'll call you!"

"I'm sorry," Matthew told him as they walked away.

"It wasn't your fault. It was mine. I'm sorry"

"I didn't mean to make things awkward for you."

James stopped at the door way and turned to him. "It's not your fault," he stressed.

"If you didn't bring me-"

"I'll bring who I want to, where I want to."

"But if you didn't-"

"You didn't - and I didn't - do anything wrong."

James glanced over at the party guests before taking Matthews face in his hands.

"I'm sorry I brought you. But not for what you're thinking, alright? I didn't mean to stress you. I'm sorry about that. I apologise."

Matthew nodded a bit unnerved with the soft look on james' face.

"Some of my friends are prudes. They always have been and they always will be. That's not your fault," he said quietly.

Matthew nodded.

James darted forward and kissed him. The kiss was surprisingly soft and tender this time. James kept his face close to his for a moment for lingering kisses, holding his cheeks gently.

"You are wonderful," James murmured. "I really care for you, Matthew. I really do."

Matthew blinked furiously at him, his fingernails digging into his own wrists.

"I'm sorry I didn't give you that nice evening I promised you. I know you didn't want to come with me in the first place and I made you. And it was awkward for you. I simply thought socialising would be good for you. This was the wrong place. I'm sorry about that. We'll go home."

He ushered him out of the building and hailed a taxi, pushing him in before getting in myself.

James stared at the driver through the rear vision mirror.

"You're not a homophobe, are you driver?" James asked.

The driver looked around confused for a second before turning back to the road.

"What?"

"I asked if you were a homophobe," James asked taking Matthew hand, pulling him closer to him.

"Sir…"Matthew pleaded.

James pulled Matthew to him by his tie kissing him again, with a hand to the back of his head.

"I want you to know I'm not ashamed of you," he whispered before kissing him again with need.

Matthew put a hand to James chest pushing him away while James ran his tongue across his lower lip. "You're drunk," Matthew told him. "And this isn't appropriate." James tried to kiss him again but Matthew pulled away.

James gave him an annoyed look before looking out the window.

"No one has the right to tell me what I can and cant do."

"I wasn't telling you-"

"Im furious with Harold. How dare he?"

Matthew stayed silent, James gripping his hand tight as they were driven through the streets.

The taxi parked outside of his address and he pushed money into the driver's hand before pulling Matthew out of the taxi to the door. He unlocked the house door, never letting go of Matthew's hand.

"Im sorry for my friends, that must have made you feel awful," James said putting his hand on his shoulders. "I didn't mean for that to happen. I just wanted you to have a good night."

"Its ok, Sir."

"...Call me James?"

Matthew blinked back at him. "James," he said slowly. James' face changed for a moment, softer again, as he stroked his temples before turning away from him.

James walked away to the kitchen and opened a bottle of wine and poured himself a glass.

"Some of the people I know are arseholes," James explained before he downed the glass.

Matthew watched him drink nervously. He was drunk before he left and now he seemed intent on drinking a lot more.

James saw the look and wiggled the bottle in front of him. "Do you want one?"

Matthew shook his head. "I think I might go to bed."

"You don't want to sit up with me?"

"No, its ok."

"It's not about what stupid old Harold said was it?"

"I'm just tired."

"You exhausted yourself this morning," James told him. "Why don't you come and sit with me instead?"

Matthew shook his head. "You can put your head on my lap and have a sleep? Come on, Matthew, please?"

James took the bottle and his empty glass into the lounge room, then took Matthew's hand and led him to the lounge. He sat down and patted his lap but Matthew sat down beside him nervously.

James poured himself another glass and sat back.

"It's been some eventful few days," James sighed.

"...yep."

"I'm exhausted."

James silently drank while Matthew watched.

Matthew could see James was ruminating and angry. He looked like he'd never seen him - genuinely upset. The words he said tonight felt like a stranger. It unnerved him. He didn't like it.

"I've been alone for a long time," James finally said. "I feel like an old broken man, living alone with only my friends who tolerate me."

"You're not old. You're nowhere near old. Or broken." Matthew touched James' hand.

"I feel like it sometimes," he said licking his lips. "My friends make me feel old and broken. People respect Donald. They like him. They like Iris too. Not so much me... But that suits me fine. You know I don't socialise much."

James took a deep loud breath in and out.

"Donalds a bit older than me. His children are just a bit younger than you, you know. Had them young. I didn't go to his oldest kids 18th birthday a fortnight ago. Duckie and I had a fight. I think he's angry at me…for fucking you. I mean, he quite likes you…very protective of you infact. but... he's unhappy with me."

Matthew thinned his lips as James drank another glass and continued rambling, mot looking at Matthew.

"Iris is ok about it, but that's because she's found a few boytoys in her day since her husband left.  She can't tell me off for anything. But Harold…Harolds just a stupid twat. I've hated him since university days but Iris and Donald love him. I cant stand him. Did you hear what he said?"

"...Yes."

"How dare he judge me? How dare he feel like he can comment on you?"

"Its ok. I've heard much worse."

"You shouldn't. You shouldn't have to." James grimaced. "You shouldn't have to deal with people saying those sorts of things to you. It's unfair."

James looked at Matthew with glassy eyes. "People are arseholes. That's why I live alone. I keep to myself so I don't have to deal with them. I'm quite happy to do that…was happy…"

"What changed?" Matthew asked.

"…You."

Matthew blinked, unnerved, regretting he asked the question.

"Would you like to move in with me?" James blurted out.

"…um…"

"You're practically living here already."

"…I don't know…"

"I can look after you. I'd like to have you…as…as…ahhh...I have feelings for-"

"Maybe we should talk about this when you're sober. I sure you wouldn't ask me then."

"I'm asking you now. You wanted someone to look after. Have me."

James looked earnestly at Matthew.

"Have me until I'm dead. I'm going to get decrepit and senile soon."

"You will not. Stop acting like you're 80 and bound for a nursing home. You're nowhere near it. You're just middle aged."

"Do you think im attractive? I used to look much better when I was younger without these wrinkles and greys."

"I do."

James smiled briefly at him.

"Donald told me a old friend of mine died recently. I missed the funeral. What if that happens to me?"

"Maybe if you gave your liver a rest one night?"

"Are you calling me a drunk?"

Matthew gave him an unapologetic shrug. "Yes."

"Then i'm a grumpy drunk old man. Im going to die alone. I can just hear what they say at my funeral."

"What do you think they would say?"

James sighed. "here lies James Schmidl, a misanthrope and a drunk who never had a kind word to say to anyone. He was survived by his library of books and wine collection."

Matthew smiled. "You forgot about your brief case and suit collection."

"And my briefcase and suit collection."

James pondered over his glass.

"I don't have a partner, I don't have children, I don't have any legacy. I have my job. That's it. That's all there is "

"You're a long way off before dying."

"What if I'm not?"

"You're not sick are you?"

"No."

"Then you have nothing to worry about."

"Adam didn't have anything to worry about either. Then he died…"

There was silence between them. James was deep in thought. James started swaying a little, getting a little emotional.

"I think its time for bed," Matthew told him.

James closing his eyes before nodding. He put the glass down on the coffee table.

Matthew stood up and held his hand up for James. He took it and stood up staggering a little.

"See? Im old, I can't walk properly."

Matthew laughed. "You're very drunk."

"You'll come to bed with me?" James asked him.

"Only if you keep your hands to yourself."

James smiled slyly.

[gvf-1d]

Hi so this post inspired me to write this little piece

You and Josh sat in the plastic chairs on the porch of the cabin you both were renting this weekend, watching the thunder and lightning storm unfold before you as the rain pattered down, soaking everything in its path.

Except you two of course, since you were sitting comfortably next to each other under the porch. A table sat in front of you, holding your cup of apple cinnamon tea. Josh held in his hand a cup of lemon ginger tea, a tea he usually drank when his voice was a little strained. His other hand was intertwined with your own, his hand gently caressing the top of your hand in a gentle circular motion.

It had been a long few weeks. Josh just returned from an extremely busy few weeks of touring then endless business meetings about their next album and promo stuff. Needless to say, Josh was exhausted. And needed some time away. As did you. And you wouldn’t deny that your guys’ relationship really needed this time alone as well. You were dealing with a lot at work, having just passed several deadlines for a few huge projects that took you and your team months of work.

Trying to put your mind off life’s stresses, you focused back on the sky. It lit up again, the sky showing a flash of bright lightening amid its current blue-purple hue. You heard the crash of thunder, the universe’s clapping and drumming, breaking through the quieter sound of the down-pouring rain. Nature’s song.

You looked at your boyfriend. He was the most gorgeous man you’ve ever laid eyes on. He caught your stare and repositioned his body to face you, taking another sip of his tea before setting it back on the table and holding your free hand with his free hand.

“I’ve missed you,” Josh says quietly, his voice sounding scratchy and strained.

You smile lovingly at him. “I’ve missed you too,” you respond.

“No, baby,” he starts. “I’ve missed you.” His brown eyes stare into your own, reading your soul and heart like it’s his favourite book that he’s read a hundred times.

You knew what he meant when he said he missed you. It was a different kind of missing someone. It was so much more than just being physically far from someone. But missing them as a whole. Missing a part of you because they are such a big part of your life. Missing the feeling you have when you’re near them. Missing having your souls intertwined. Missing the emotional, physical and spiritual intimacy you both share that distance, life, work, stress and everything in between can affect.

You both loved each other. Josh loved what he did for a living and you couldn’t be prouder of the man you love living out his dream with his brothers. But living out your dreams doesn’t mean it’s easy and Josh was a perfect example of this.

There was another clap of thunder followed by a bright jagged streak of lightening a few minutes later while you could hear the rain start to fall down even heavier.

Josh stands up and goes to sit on your lap. You smile at him and laugh. “Babe, what are you doing?” You ask while he wraps his arms around you and caresses the back of your head while planting a gentle kiss on your forehead.

“Showing you that missing you is worth it. That we’re going to be okay. That we can’t expect all sunny days. Sometimes there will be rain, thunder and lightning storms. I know things have been hard between us the last few months. But that I’m always here. Always loving you. Always. Even if I can barely talk.” His voice gets more hoarse as he goes on, forcing you to stop him before he hurts his voice and throat even more.

“I know. I love you, Josh Kiszka. On the sunny days and the stormy days.”

You pull him into a kiss. A deep, slow, loving kiss that feels like you’ve just been welcomed home after a long journey. Like you are two immortal lovers separated by a 500 year curse now just reuniting for the first time in so long.

[love-marimo]

Soft, White Cotton (18+) Toji x Fem!Reader

Content Warning: Contains N/S/F/W / matured content. Please read at your own risk. Minors do not interact.

Lolita's note: I am so stressed and my schedule is packed. Perhaps writing a Toji smut would help me soothe my mood?

"You know you look like a hooker waiting for his client standing there." You walked towards the man standing by your car in the office's parking lot. Toji scoffs in reply.

"Are you embarrassed then?" He taunts.

You glance back at two of your co-workers who exchanged confused and shocked looks. They're probably thinking that you ー the most excellent worker in your department, who have received tons of praises and awards ー have stooped so low to see a deadbeat man every night and fuck him.

"If I am, then I would've declined your drink at the bar and called you a loser wishing for a good cunt." You bit back.

"Huh, touché." Toji laughs as he opens the car door for you.

You don't know how exactly you ended up in this situation. You were sure that you only wanted him for a night and that would be all. But when you woke up the next morning and saw him fresh out of the shower with nothing but a towel covering the lower regions of his body, you knew that this wouldn't be just a one-night stand.

I mean, he is hot. Nice body. Big dick. Fucks good. Wears a condom upon request.

And if you force your way out of his inhibitions, you can take a shower peacefully after sex.

And tonight is just one of those days. You want himー no, you need himー after a long day of exhausting work.

The moment both car doors were closed he was all over you. He kissed you everywhere. You felt his scar grazing your soft lips and his tongue prying its way to open it. It felt hot, sloppy and impatient.

You hummed through the kiss as he pulls you on top of him, squeezing your ass tightly with his big hands.

"You're pretty fired up today, doll. Bad day at work?" Toji whispers to your ear as one of his hands snake under your skirt to palm your wetness, agonizingly slow.

You were about to say something when he suckled a hickey on your neck and inserted two fingers inside of you ー and you can't help but moan at the sudden, satisfying pain that were all too familiar to you by now.

Even though practically, you can't get used to it. You can't get used to him. You can't get used to how big he is.

"Please, just- just decide where we can do it." You breathed shakily. But Toji ignored you, wiped your smeared lipstick and unbuttoned your blouse, smirking in refusal.

He was about to rip it off (as he always does) when he noticed something different.

"Oh? White lace?" He asks, brows raised in curiosity.

"For fuck's sake, if you don't like it then we can stop. And it's not just lace. It's cotton with lace frills."

Toji laughs, and you can't tell if he mocks you or appreciates the thought of you putting this white lingerie set for him.

Why did you even do that anyway? It's not like you two share something serious. Maybe it's because you still want to keep him around. After all, the sexual compatibility between both of you is through the roof so it's more than enough for you to be satisfied.

Or at least that's what you thought.

It's not like I'm having thoughts of insecurity and shit like he'll get bored of me-

Toji puts you back on your seat and looks at your state, deep in thought.

"By any chance, did you wear this for me?"

That's all it took for you to kiss him again to save face from embarrassment.

"You're a mess." He chuckles. You scoff at that.

The drive back to your house was tense as fuck. Toji kept caressing your thigh with a smile on his face and you did your best to keep a straight face but to no avail.

Toji carried you with your legs wrapped around his torso and kissed you rough as you make your way to your bedroom. He then laid you down on your bed and proceeded to undress your wrinkled office uniform.

"Wait, I forgot something." You tell him, pushing him away from you as you walk to the bathroom.

You can hear him groan slightly but he obliged.

"I'll be right back."

When you came out wearing white thigh highs and the cotton-lace lingerie he clearly loved, Toji rose from his seat and pushed you roughly on the bed, again. To think that this night has been a series of déjà vu is laughable. But then again, how many times did he handle you roughly like this?

And how many times did you love it?

"I'm going to say this once. You look beautiful." Toji pushes away a strand of hair from your face.

"That's… oddly sweet of you. You're usually not like that." You chuckle.

Toji leans down at you and kisses your forehead, then your nose, then the either sides of your cheeks, and then your lips.

It's… intimate?

You want to say something but you figured it will ruin the mood. The man then cups your breasts and slowly unclasps your bra. A pop echoed lightly in the room when his lips left your neck as he trailed open mouthed kisses down to your tits.

Your thighs couldn't help themselves so you, in a growing pathetic state, start to rub them seeking relief as the wet patch on your panties grew bigger.

You practically grinded yourself up his cock as your wanton moans sweetly laced your room.

"Stay still for me darlin'. I want t' enjoy the feast you prepared for me." You want to laugh at his choice of words but you know he's being serious.

And so you obliged.

Like the bratty, but pliant little thing you are.

Toji carefully removed your panties and dragged his hands up and down your clothed legs, admiring the softness of the socks hugging your skin just the way he likes.

Huh, maybe he does like this after all.

The first lick was soothing. It was slow, but deliberate that it was almost romantic. Toji took his time and basked in your wet warmth ー in which you responded with content moans and closed eyes.

"Fuck… just like that."

His slow licks gradually became faster and you can feel his tongue switch from lapping at your clit and prying at your entrance.

"T-Toji… ah… w-wait…!"

Sex with him drives you insane.

You feel him smile beneath you as he continues his ministrations. You rock your hips up to his face to meet him and the rhythm of his tongue-fucking. Then just when you're reaching your climax he inserts two fingers and thrusts into you so quick you can hear the squelches of your pussy get louder.

"I'm close…!"

"Not yet, doll. C'mere, wanna feel ya inside me."

You whine at the abrupt orgasm denial but you did your best to wait for him patiently as he takes off his clothes.

Toji holds you by your waist and you take his cock in your hands as you grind your slit on it.

"Can I… suck on it?"

"I'm not in the mood for teasing, doll."

And with that he lifts you up and slams you on his cock, eliciting a lewd moan from you. You pawed on his back and suckled on his jaw as he uses your ass to fuck into you ruthlessly.

You really can't get enough of him.

It doesn't matter who he is or what he does. It doesn't matter if he's even a societal outcast or someone dangerous. It doesn't matter that you really don't know much about him outside sex.

Maybe you're abusing this, but what you know for yourself and what matters to you is that he's here, body entangled with you.

"T-Toji… fuck… so good!" You scream with wanton as he continues fucking you, cock diving into your warmth all the way to his hilt.

He holds your face and kisses you ー tongues dancing with each other. Your moans were muffled as he gives your breasts with a harsh squeeze, then he sucks on your nipple as if his life depended on it.

You find it funny sometimes ー how two strangers can share so little time with each other yet have sexual chemistry so intense one would think you've been married for years.

"A-aah! Shit, w-wait…!" You held onto him tighter and wrapped your legs around him as he folds you suddenly to a mating press, the sudden change of position stinging your already trembling body.

You closed your eyes and envisioned your juices coating your sexes ー a white ring of cum forming on Toji's cock ー

And you can't help but tighten around him.

"Fuck, what are you up to?" Toji's sweat trickles down your chest as he pushes into you harder, deeper and faster. You can't help but admire how much of sex machine the man above you is, that it almost makes you feel envious.

You clench around him tighter.

Toji rocks into you deeper.

"Get up, I need your hair." Toji flips you onto your stomach and lifts your ass up to him.

"Wh-what-"

Before you can even finish asking, he holds your hair and buries your head onto the mattress and ruts into you again. The squelches of your fucking echoes as skin slaps ー it was too erotic.

Your mind grows hazy as he practically treats you like his own personal fucktoy.

His other hand rubs your clit in rhythm with his fucking and you chant his name again and again ー all in the name of pleasure.

"Can't tighten around me now, huh? What, are ya losin' strength?" Toji mocks you and swats your hand away when you try to reach for his arms.

You prayed that whatever position he puts you in next, it would be the last because gods, you can't take this anymore.

As if the heavens heard your prayers, Toji shifted yourselves again in another position, a nelson.

He held your breasts and you grabbed on his burly arms as you fuck each other to oblivion.

Well, at least he does.

"Mmph! Oh my god! Faster, please!" No, you didn't want more. But your body betrays you.

Every single damn time.

"So, you're praisin' me now, huh. I always love your choice of words, doll." Toji groans into your ear as his pace starts to falter.

It's unfair. How this happens all the time. It's unfair that he can only treat you like this. You're too fragile to even land a single crack in him.

"Oh my…! S-slow down! Please…I'm close." You reach for him for a kiss and he gives it to you. He even starts to praise you and whisper sweet nothings to your ear saying how pretty you are and how good you feel ー in which he'd never done before.

And that's when you decided that he's awfully giving today.

You feel yourself squirt and your white, cotton socks were drenched. Toji doesn't stop at that. He continues to fuck you, seeking his own release.

"Gotta be a good girl and stay still for me."

His cum was white, warm and thick. You could practically feel it drip out of you as he pulls out.

Toji kisses your forehead and chuckles. Yet another endearing gesture that's unusual coming from him.

"You told me once that I have nothing special about me but my body. Well, I think I'm starting to believe it." He says out of the blue.

"Where did that come from?" You ask, confused.

Toji lays you down and stays beside you, with a look on his face you once again cannot read.

You both stay like that for a while, admiring each other in silence. Though you wish you could talk about your lives more.

But no, sex is sex. Sex will always be sex. That's all there is to it. You think to yourself.

Toji caresses your face once again, a content smirk displayed on his face. You can't help but do the same to him, admiring his rugged body ー his rugged heart.

"I should clean up." You say, making your way to the bathroom.

You wonder what changed between the two of you today.

And you wonder if this can do you more harm than any good.

ー Lolita

[avocadoleaf]

Nightowl Smut Alphabet

Adult content below the cut. Please do not read if you are under 18

Content warnings: fem reader, hickies, jealousy, missionary sex, oral (m f recieving), use of sex toys, cumshots, mentions of kinks (overstim, praise, light impact play, marking), throat fucking, descriptions of male anatomy.

A: Aftercare- Gotta be honest, not really winning any awards for over-the-top aftercare. You’ll have to tell him what you need, but he is more than happy to do it. The issue is, well, he really doesn’t know what to do after. Will happily clean you up and grab a water before crawling back in bed for some amazing post sex cuddles.

B: Body part- Shameless tit man. Even in a non-sexual context, he just is all over them. Tends to stare no matter what, and grins stupidly if you call him out on it. He loves to trail hickies from your neck down your chest and kisses each mark he made after sex.

On himself, I think he enjoys his hands. He saw a tiktok of people thirsting over hands and was immediately hooked. He sends you pictures of his hands with rings to ask which ones you prefer, just to tease you through the day. He keeps the rings on when he touches you, mostly so he can remember how you sounded when they were in you while he puts them on the next morning.

C: Cum- He really likes the idea of cumming on your chest, but it very rarely happens. He tends to get kinda lost in what he’s doing and pulls out a little too late to get up to your chest. Most of it is splattered on your thighs, but he is not complaining about that view either

D: Dirty Secret- He has a very slight exhibitionist streak. He clearly gets quite jealous, and nothing would quiet his insecurities more than fucking you where everyone can hear and then making you walk around all fucked out afterwards. He doesn’t bring it up because he thinks its disrespectful of him and he doesn’t want to embarrass you in front of other people, but damn, sometimes he wishes he could.

E: Experience- I think he’s fooled around with people a little but has only had sex with his high school girlfriend. After that relationship ended, he had a bit of a dry spell because of the stress from college. He is very eager to learn though and tends to read up on things he isn’t confident in in order to make the experience better for both of you.

F: Favorite Position- He likes missionary mostly, loves to watch your face as he tries new things to make you feel good, and he can easily tuck his head into your shoulder to hide how much you affect him. He also can groan right in your ear from that position, and he lives for how you tighten up around him with every sound he makes.

G: Goofy- Owl is not a particularly serious person during sex. This man loves to make you laugh and make you smile, even when he’s inside of you. He always smiles into your kisses because his base reaction to how good you make him feel is to smile, and he wants you to as well. The type to pull up away from your face for a second and ask, “does that feel good?” and sweetly smile a little when you say yeah. “Oh yeah? I’m glad, baby. I’m glad I make you feel good.”

H: Hair- Shaves most of it off himself but leaves a bit behind because he thinks it looks weird completely bald. He prefers if you shave as well. He is a very visual person and likes to see his meal before he eats.

I: Intimacy- Probably struggles the most out of the LI’s with intimacy. To him, sex is this fun thing you get to do together and use to learn out each other more than as a profound expression of love. Sex is a bit more relaxed with him in that regard. He prefers to show his devotion outside the bedroom, with words and actions. He does have times where the passion is turned up greatly, like anniversaries.

J: Jack Off- A lot. Like every day. He is a bit insatiable with sex and can get hard at inconvenient times. Often, he’ll look over at you sleeping, silently willing you to wake up. He won’t wake you because he knows your job exhausts you, so he decides to take a shower and deal with himself. He lets the water pour down his face as he imagines your hand around his cock. He softly whimpers your name when he comes and leans his head on the cool tile. He cleans himself and the shower up quickly, eager to be next to you again. You curl up into the sweet scent of him, and he smiles, kissing the crown of your head as he falls asleep.

K: Kinks- Owl talks a big talk but is pretty vanilla when it boils down. He does still have a couple of small ones:

-Eye contact

-Marking/ scratching (giving and receiving)

-Light spanking

-Exhibitionism (see D)

-Praise (giving and receiving)

-Overstimulation (giving)

L: Location- He prefers sex in his bed to anywhere else. He thinks it’s a safe place for you two to be able to try new things, without any fear. His bed is soft, and safe; he knows he can protect you and take care of you there. The only other place he really fucks you is in his car. He gets desperate for you sometimes and if you’re willing to help him out, who is he to complain?

M: Motivation- Innocent little things tend to set him off more than hitting on him overtly. He isn’t super kinky, but there is still a part of him that likes to lead you. He feels like a man when you rely on him, so the best way to seduce him is playfully. Sitting on his lap and giggling while you play with his jewelry is a very easy way to get him going. Above all, your smile makes him happy, and he wants to continue filling the world with your laughter, as well as all the other sweet noises he pulls from you.

N: No- He’s not sharing. He will not let somebody else have sex with you or with him under and circumstances. Sure, he doesn’t push the intimacy agenda as much as some other LI’s do, but sex is still something that he thinks of as “your thing”. If you bring it up, it will probably lead to some serious insecurity that he isn’t satisfying you enough.

O: Oral- Owl likes to receive more than he likes to give, but definitely tries to return the favor. It’s about a 70-30 split. He just can’t get over the way you bat your eyelashes, looking up at him while you’re swallowing him whole. It’s to the point where you can look up at him through your lashes and he gets hard. You pavloved him into associating a specific kind of eye contact with fucking your throat. He loves to eat you at because he can hear how good he makes you feel without the cloudy head he gets when he’s inside you. He can just look and see how weak you are for him as he flattens his tongue against you. He holds one of your hands the whole time while his other hand fucks into you. Will take breaks from eating you out to kiss your thighs and call you pretty as he pulls another orgasm from your body.

P: Pace- A bit too eager for his own good. He goes fast and hard 90% of the time. The way you know he’s about to cum is he slows down for just a few beats before speeding right back up before he (awkwardly) pulls out.

Q: Quickie- This man will marry you if you are down for quickies. He could get hard from a slightly motivated breeze, so someone who can handle that, even occasionally, is a dream come true for him. He thanks you the entire time, pressing kisses to the back of your neck in between choked breaths, digging his fingers into your hips.

R: Risk- He is not particularly risk taking, especially when you’re involved. Sure, he fantasizes about getting caught with you, but the idea of someone seeing what he deems as his is legitimately nauseating to him.

S: Stamina- Not the most blessed in the world with stamina. I mean, look at you, he could bust from looking at you, but getting to fuck you definitely speeds that along. Even though he doesn’t last as long as others do, the energy boost he gets after paired with how quickly he gets turned on again means that you aren’t leaving that bed for a while either way.

T: Toys- The man is not afraid to partner up with technology if it means having more fun. You asked him one day to use a vibrator and he has never stopped teasing you with one since. He uses them on days where he has a bit more time and has sat down with the intention of overstimulating you. He likes that he doesn’t get tired when he uses a toy to get you off; he can just watch all your little reactions and let every sound go straight to his cock. He sees little tears forming in your eyes at the sensation and leans over to your ear. “Shh, it’s okay. You can do it for me, right. You can handle this. You’re such a good girl for me, always. Just relax for me, I’ll take care of you”

U: Unfair- See above, he loves to tease you. Please give him a run for his money though, he is way to sweet when you tease him to let him have all the fun. But if you make him wait too long before touching him, he will go from whiny and sweet to controlling and desperate very quickly. Whether that is something you are willing to risk is up to you.

V: Volume- Very breathy, and a bit quiet. He knows that you get off on the sounds he makes, so he makes an effort to be a bit bolder with his noises, right in your ear. He will not tolerate you hiding any of your sounds though. If he ever notices you biting your lip to contain a moan, he will softly part your lips with his thumb. “Don’t hide from me, I want to hear how good I make you feel”. He punctuates his words with harder thrusts, smiling when sounds finally tear from your throat.

W: Wild Card- “Show me how to make you feel good, I wanna be good for you,” you beg, sinking down in front of him.

“Are you sure, you really don’t have to,” he gasps out. Yeah, you don’t have to, but he really wants you to. You look so pretty on the ground, staring up at him.

“Fuck my mouth. I want you to.” There is no need for further convincing. He bends down and kisses you, almost moaning into your mouth.

“Ah, cutie, you are going to be the death of me one day.”

“Then it is my hope that you die a very happy man,” you breath, pushing him down onto the corner of the bed. He looks so pretty like this, mouth hanging open as he tucks your hair behind your ears. His head tilts back so sweetly as you lick the entire underside of his dick, swirling around the tip. The groan that comes out of his mouth at your actions is unholy, pooling between your legs. You sink down further, swallowing as he hits your throat.

“Oh, please. My God, you’re gonna kill me.” You look up to see him whimpering softly on the end of each breath. He brings his head forward to look at you before instantly snapping it back, like his body is torn between letting the pleasure consume every inch of him and burning the image of you sucking him off like this in his memory. You can tell he is still holding back, keeping his hips so still on the bed. You reach and run a thumb over his balls, squeezing lightly. His hips buck into your mouth at the sensation, and you smile around his dick.

He chuckles breathlessly, “You did that on purpose, didn’t you? You know how badly I want you and you take everything I can give you.” He thrusts tentatively and groans at how you take him so nicely. “I hope you’re having fun, because I think I’m gonna have to make you do this again.”

Lust bubbles up inside you, rushing in an electric buzz down your legs. He puts his hands through your hair and close your eyes as your nose meets his stomach, living for what is undoubtedly the first of many, many nights spent on your knees.

X: X-ray- Average in length, and thin. Very sensitive on the underside.

Y: Yearning- He’s horny. All the time. You make it worse. Enjoy your active sex life because he’ll fuck you anytime you say yes.

Z: Zzz- Is actually pretty energized after sex, so he puts that into talking with you after and joking around, tickling your sides while you pillow talk. He eventually sinks back down though, appreciating how at peace you are as you sleep. He smiles and kisses your lips softly before closing his eyes.

[echo-of-sounds]

feel comfortable with me

-Toshi x f!reader-

This is for the Secret Santa event we did over in my server! I got @beealexageek! The prompts I used were smut, comfort, intimacy, and your first bath together. This turned out to be a much longer piece than I first thought, but I do like where it turned out. And I hope you like it, Alex! <3

A chime sounded. Toshinori sent a text: I’m on my way home. Do you need me to stop at the store for anything?

No. Just hurry home. I miss you. You added a couple of emojis, then put your phone aside.

Amber and cedar circled the bathroom, full, warm, yet not overbearing. You sat the candle jars on the sink top and shelves, away from any possible splashing. Bar soap and loofahs rested beside the large bathtub.

As it filled with water, you sipped your wine and placed things out for after your bath: fresh, fluffy towels hung nearby, body butter waited on the bed that was made up with new sheets and silk pajamas that put a dent in your wallet, but you paid it eagerly, wanting the finest for Toshi.

He needed it after everything. His exhaustive Hero career and now his consuming teaching job took the bulk of his time and energy, and the latter was rapidly wearing him down. It left little time for himself and your relationship, particularly the more physical parts.

You’ve had sex a few times. You’ve seen each other naked more than that, not by much but by a smidge. It took both of you a while to be ready for it. Now, it was taking you a bit to adjust to being naked around him, sometimes feeling the need to cover your less attractive parts. And you surely didn’t expect him to adjust quickly or easily, either. Wounds permanently flawed his body. Smaller scars and blemishes littered his limbs. He tried so hard to hide, shielding himself or turning to the side when he was topless, shying away from your wandering hands and grazing lips whenever you were intimate.

He had a lot to work through, and you were proud of how far you’ve come together. And tonight, you wanted him to feel comfortable, safe, and relaxed: physically and mentally. You bought soy candles for lofty ambiance, an organic bubble bath for his overworked skin, and played sensual jazz lounge music to block out the world. It turned his bathroom and bedroom into a perfect little haven.

You hurried back to the tub and shut the water off. With that all set, you changed into a robe and finished your glass of wine. You didn’t need to go overboard with it — just needed an itsy-bitsy boost to your confidence.

Keys jingled from the other side of the door as you were putting the bottle away. You turned to see Toshi’s heavy brow and low shoulders. You greeted him softly, “Hey.”

“Hi, sweetheart,” he replied just as quietly, if not wearily. He removed his jacket and shoes and asked, “How was your day?”

“Uneventful. Yours?”

“About the same.”

He faced away from you, huffing and swearing something under his breath while he fiddled with his briefcase. You tiptoed over and called his name. Carefully and cautiously, you stroked his biceps and whispered, hoping the answer wasn’t negative, “Anything stressful happen? Or was it just long?”

“Just long.”

“I’m sorry, honey.” You had to really stretch to reach his neck for a light kiss. Feeling along his front, your hand drifted to the bag, taking it from his ready-to-release hold.

His body turned towards yours, letting you cup his jaw and bring him down for a firm kiss. A sigh entered your mouth. You took the sign of weariness and untied his tie, dropping it to the table. The top buttons of his shirt were next, exposing his beautiful clavicles and prominent tendons. It called for you to open more, to kiss his sternum, to stroke his sides and stomach and thighs, to love all of him.

But you resisted. That could wait. You unlatched his belt, smiling at his waist swaying forward as you pulled it out of its loops.

“Thank you,” he chuckled.

“No problem.” You pecked his left collarbone, able to taste warmth and salt in the fleeting touch.

Blue flicked down. Pink colored his cheeks. Presumably noting your slacked robe, his lips parted and the grip on your sides tightened. He sighed your name. You brought him close again, pushing your scarcely-covered chest against his, kissing his jaw, muttering love and sympathy between each one.

A throaty grunt came. Hands began to wander over your hips, moving the robe around. He pulled away just a centimeter to ask, “Is that-” You reconnected, matching his light moan. “-music?”

“Mhmm.” You slurred into his mouth, “Time for a bath.”

Reluctantly, you broke the kiss to lead him towards the bathroom, restraining yourself from skipping with excitement.

“A bath? I don’t remem- What is this?” He questioned the new bedsheets and pajamas. His brow raised higher once you opened the bathroom door, letting out steam, scents, and subtle music.

“It’s for you. A surprise.” You cheerfully pulled him the rest of the way into the bathroom, grinning at his cute confusion.

“It certainly is a surprise.” He leaned down and tested the tub’s water, flinching a little at the heat. “What’s it all for?”

“For you, Toshi.”

“And what did I do to deserve this?”

“Nothing in particular. I wanted to try something different to help your body and, um… to help you. Us.”

He stood up. The endearing look morphed into one more solemn.

“I want you to feel comfortable, and I thought this could be helpful… for that.”

On queue, his hand moved to his side, hiding the scar despite the clothes he wore. Now that he was here, standing tall, almost scared, your words were failing. Thoughts weren’t coming out eloquently. This was much easier in your head where everything played out perfectly and sexily.

However, just because the plan you laid out wasn’t starting the best, you couldn’t let it fail. You wanted him to feel loved and attractive and handsome and worthy of your attention and needed him to know that his physical defects didn’t make any of those things impossible.

He opened his mouth. Before he could say anything, words flung out, “I want you to know how much I care about you and appreciate you. I know you have complicated feelings about your, uh…” Concerned eyes waited with a small but charming smile. You sucked in and tried to speak the thoughts evenly, “Your body is your body, Toshi. It isn’t wrong or broken or bad, and… I know you’ve gone through so much and you’re struggling with things, but I just want to see… I want to see you, Toshi, all of you, without any hiding or lights off, and I thought a bath together would help… If you want to, of course.”

The music prevented a horrible silence from falling. You took some deep breaths. He didn’t need to see you distraught at what was supposed to be an auspicious moment. His eyes wandered around the room, looking at all the things you set out for tonight.

What if he just wasn’t ready? That’d be okay. You’d never push him past his limits and into doing this if he wasn’t ready for it. You’d go at whatever pace he needed.

Amid your self-soothing and fidgeting, you almost missed his croak: “Thank you.”

“Oh… I, uh, yeah…” No. Say more. Don’t act a fool. “I mean, are you actually okay with all this, Toshi?”

“Yes.”

The strength and confidence stunned you a bit. It seemed to shock him too, since he blinked a few times and cleared his throat, regaining himself.

Toshi reached for your waist after. Lanky arms surrounded you snuggly. His hands wandered over your back. Your name sounded so delicate, so enamored when it dripped from his lips. “I’m positive. I appreciate your patience thus far. Not many are always so understanding. This relationship is the first I’ve had in a while, and I want it to last.”

“I want it to, too.”

He kissed your temple, still petting your body, rousing it with squeezes and kneadings. “No one’s done something like this for me, and I want to try to help us, too.”

You nuzzled into his chest, taking in the lingering cologne. With his willingness, his clothes were the last barriers to bearing his body and insecurities.

“Where do we start?”

“With this.” You withdrew from the hug, grabbing the next button on his shirt, taking your time the closer you got to the source of his anxiety. Dark red tendrils peaked out from the left side. You didn’t open it fully yet, choosing to finish unbuttoning it entirely, and then you gingerly slid the shirt off his shoulders, watching his expressions as it fell.

Shoulders knotted. Arms jumped as if to hide himself, but they returned to his sides. Bones and tendons jutted out, drawing skin taut. Defined muscles covered most of his body. Unlike gym rats though, his were because of illness and scrawny stature. It didn’t make him any less attractive.

Whatever he said jumbled. Yet you had an inkling of what it was given his extending blush and avoidance of eye contact.

“You really are gorgeous, Toshi.” Your fingers flowed down his biceps to his hands. The scar tissue didn’t detract from it. It took away his left nipple and marred so much of his side. Its lines thickened and deepened towards the center, where its color turned into some red and purple mix. Delicately, you placed your palm against the old trauma, remembering seeing it for the time, remembering how scared he was to finally show it to you.

Your wrist was grabbed. It wasn’t hard, just… concerned.

“I mean it, Toshi.” You met his eyes hidden under laden brows. “Nothing about you isn’t. I promise.”

“Thank you… for all this.”

“You don’t need to thank me, Toshi. Really. I just wanted you to feel better.” Air caught in your tightening windpipe. Blue eyes, brighter than the average person’s, stared, not moving a flick. You couldn’t look away from them. You panted, somehow out of breath without moving, “I want you to feel safe with me because I… I… I really care about you.”

He leaned down, nudging his forehead against yours. “I really care about you, too.”

An unspoken word hung between you, both wanting to say it but scared to be the first. Yet, it didn’t need to be said. If you felt it — believed it — then that was more than enough, especially for tonight.

“Sometimes I think I don’t deserve you.”

“I think the same,” you mouthed through the growing fever, fluttering lower and fuller and sultrier.

“Maybe that means we’re good for each other.”

You copied his small laugh and kissed him. The sound of his pants falling came right before his fingers drifted under your robe, slipping it from your shoulders. He removed the sash next. Cold hands pushed it open and off, getting to feel along your skin.

You kissed his jaw and mumbled, “Let us get into the bath.”

He slid his boxers off and stepped inside, taking his time to lower into the hot water. You happily followed suit. Before you could even begin to take care of him, he asked, “What about you?”

“Don’t worry about me. This is all for you.” You settled behind him and found a comfy position. “Let’s do your hair first.”

He listened, giving in to your care and letting you move him around as needed while you wet his hair. The roots were a bit difficult to get at. You had to use your fingers and brush through the clumping, frizzled locks.

Shampoo was easy to work with. It sunk into his hair and dripped suds over both your bodies. You dabbed any that landed on his face away, not wanting it in his eyes. And your scrubbing turned into massaging, loving his sighs and groans as you thoroughly kneaded his scalp and washed the shampoo out.

Neither of you talked much. The music and physical contact were more than enough for the time being, relaxing in the water's warmth and each other’s bodies, especially as you glided soap across his back. The muscles remained lax with trust. Hands occasionally drifted to your legs, stroking along with you. If you kissed his neck, faintly sucking on the tendons, it’d make them squeeze back.

Keeping up your kissing to his shoulders, your hand trailed to his stomach, washing warm, neglected skin, grazing over his burgeoning erection. His breath hitched, building while the soap coasted over his sides and thighs.

But you didn’t touch him. You grabbed the loofah and repeated the course, laving over every spot. His head dropped to your shoulder, sighing away tension that had latched onto his muscles. Bent knees poked out of the water. His legs were wide open, giving you access to his body as you pleased.

Seeing him so open aroused you more than you cared to admit. He was happy, jovial even, smiling while letting you see his body in full. And the clearing shame helped you do the same, putting aside insecurities you had about whether or not your stomach wasn’t pretty or skin not clear enough.

You didn’t want to rush the bath and hurry into the bedroom. However, at a particularly guttural call of your name, it sounded like he was thinking the same thing.

You kissed his temple, purring his name back, and washed the soap off of him. The hands on your calves reached higher to your thighs, circling them with no trouble. Fingertips gripped. Your hips jerked haphazardly.

Something squeaked and splashed. Toshi’s baritone-rich voice purred, “Let’s dry off. The tub isn’t the best for this.”

Unable to stop the grin, you nodded, standing up quickly with him. His mouth immediately found yours, not leaving as you both stepped out of the water. He kept a steadying hold on your waist, leading you blindly towards the door.

You snatched a towel to pat his torso dry, struggling to do so between your chest pressed together. He eventually took it. Eager lips pressed to your shoulder, skimming up to your jaw, rerunning along that line as the towel dried your back. It kept you warm and your breasts flush against him.

While he dried himself, you reached low to pump him. His hips swayed with your movement. Ragged breath heated your neck. He wasn’t shying away. He wasn’t hesitating. He was letting you feel his entire body for all that it was.

Toshi guided you to the bed. Your mouths refused to break apart as you crawled backward, finding a simple position once your head hit the pillow. He laid to your side, cradling you close, caressing the length of your body.

You directed his hand low. Fingers obeyed, dipping below your waist, tracing the waking skin and rousing your mind. Your thighs fanned open to welcome him. And he gave, nurturing the full-fledged desire, sweeping over your clit beautifully.

You swore into his mouth. His left to kiss down your jaw and you hummed, “Toshi. Quickly.”

He gave again. Two fingers slipped inside, just as easy as the first time you were together. Except this time, they wasted no time and pushed up, stirring your hips to join the movement.

“Oh, fuck. Toshi.” You looked at his body entwined with yours, rocking together. “You’re so beautiful.”

His words heated your neck. “I should be the one saying that to you.”

“I mean it. You’re so handsome.” You held his cheeks, repositioning him for a kiss. The fingers stiffened in their actions, pressing harder and higher. You gasped, receiving his tongue and clinking against his teeth.

His lips followed yours when you relaxed into the pillows, keeping you connected in a messy, discombobulated kiss. Between his fingers and tongue inside you, you couldn’t voice any more compliments, leaving you moaning and humping his hand.

Needing just a little more, you inched a finger under his palm, rashly rubbing yourself. Swears were swallowed by him. Groans were reciprocated. All it took was him heaving your name, filling your mouth with lust, and sending you over the edge, leaking wetness to the bed and his name from your throat over and over again.

Only when your thighs went lax did he remove his fingers. Arousal dripped and clung to them even as he separated his fingers. The sight riled you plenty despite the orgasm, not sure if you’ve ever seen yourself that stimulated.

Toshi’s cheeks were painted over with a potent blush, spreading to his ears and shoulders. You tilted his jaw and kissed him. It resumed at the same intensity it left off at with tongues and saliva and plenty of moans. The wet hand returned to your side. His hips slipped between your thighs, nudging his erection against you, spurring you to rock with him, grinding and pawing at each other.

He wasn’t repositioning your hands when you felt his scar, or changing positions so you wouldn’t see it, or avoiding your eyes and kisses. He was allowing you to caress his entire body, feel every flaw with the same amount of love you’d show the perfect parts.

“Hold on,” he droned and leaned over, rummaging through the bedside drawers.

The absent body left your chest open for a chill. Needing the heat, you felt his sides and lifted off the bed, kissing his neck. A strong pulse beat under your lips. You sucked, lighter than a bite, but harder than usual. He jerked against you, and you ground back, feeling your arousal rubbing back into you.

“Oh, fuck.” He groaned your name, gripping your hip nearly too hard. Just hearing him swear was enough to provoke moans.

But the grinding and pawing stopped. He sat back on his knees, fumbling with the condom’s wrapper. His cock bobbed between his legs, trilling precum to the brand new sheets.

At least they were getting a nice christening.

With it finally free, Toshi hastily worked the condom on before dropping back to you, holding himself up on his elbows. Lips covered yours immediately. Tongue was next, washing in and out, opposite of yours. You reached between yourselves, finding and giving him a few slow pumps. His hips waved with the movements, clearly wanting something to thrust into.

Granting him the something wanted, you lined him up, and he, like always, gradually pushed in, fully aware of his size and the possible discomfort it could cause. But unlike other times, you didn’t need him to wait so you could adjust. You didn’t know if it was the mood, the long build-up, the feelings, the heat, or the excitement pooling and spreading ecstatically, but he kept sinking — sinking until his balls flattened to you and he groaned through his teeth.

You gasped and panted, surprised with yourself and the depth. Your nails ran along his back while you two laid still, just mixing your breaths together and kissing.

“You okay?”

“Uh-huh. I’s’great.”

You both laughed at your garbled words. Kisses lined your jaw. Carefully, delicately, he withdrew a slight amount only to push back in with the same prudence, repeating the action a couple more times.

“Oh, sweetheart. You’re so warm.” Lips brushed over your cheek, muttering flattery and devotion the whole way.

“Toshi,” you purred, hips softly swaying with his. Candlelight highlighted his tan skin, giving him a soft glow, not unlike an angel. No scar or blemish would ruin that picture. Flashes of his handsome smile and bright eyes interrupted the warm, saccharine shades.

His forearms rested on either side of your head. You held them, getting tiny shocks on your palms and fingertips, only moving your hips with this. It was jolting just how reactive your skin was being: lips drew moans, simple touches brought gasps, and chest to chest and thighs against thighs created a constant motion of breathless, whirring humping.

“So beautiful.”

His nose tapped yours, getting you to look up at him for a fierce kiss, pushing your head into the pillow. Weight behind the thrusts increased, mildly bouncing your breasts. Their speed remained the same, sedated and measured, kindling expectation and relief when the sink came, bottoming him out.

One tender finger found your clit, thumbing in rhythm with his hips. It was still sensitive and fragile from your orgasm, but fuck, feeling him balls-deep, stretching you to your max just so he could fit, as he fondled your clit, tongued your mouth, all while hardly thrusting was just going to encourage another one.

“You’re so- Fuck-” You moaned at a rather hard thrust, hearing his balls slap against you. Your head dropped back, leaving your neck open for his lips and tongue. Breasts pressed to his chest. You panted his name, bending your knees and spreading your thighs as wide as possible, needing all his depth with every slow, moonstruck stroke, depressing him directly onto your clit. Your spine arched, needing to get closer to him. Muscles tensed. Fingers dug into your legs.

“Toshi, I-” Your sentence faltered again. The wet kisses on your neck didn’t help.

You had hoped to last longer, make it some hour-long lovemaking session out of a romance novel, but you couldn’t. And his deepening, needful grunts sounded like he couldn’t either.

“Just a little…” That wasn’t going to happen either. His thrusts dwindled to bucking, keeping him fully seated inside while you humped, loving the friction on your clit.

His arms slid under your back, grabbing your ass and securing you snug against him, rutting until the pressure and satisfaction peaked. You clawed at his back and wrapped your legs around him, openly moaning your heightened enjoyment.

Dry mouths and tongues flourished with each other. You stayed locked around him, refusing to let him go despite your body's hyperarousal. You’d deal with it if it meant he got the same pleasure in his orgasm.

Toshi grunted your name into the pillow, bucking then humping then jerking, stiffening as he released, shaking as he calmed. He eventually went lax, laying his weight on you. You kissed the side of his face, kneading the tensing muscles and heaving back, waiting patiently for his breath to return.

Only when it did in full did he move, to your slight regret. You worried he was going to leave completely, maybe put his clothes on. But he didn’t. He tied off the condom and returned to you, accepting your embrace. His heart beat strong under your ear.

“Thank you… for everything.”

“You don’t need to thank me. I do it because I care about you.” You kissed his forehead. You still needed to use lotion before your skin dried completely. Although, you didn’t really feel like getting up. If you missed it one time, it wouldn’t be the end of the world.

A twinge pricking your cheek interrupted the thoughts. You scrunched your lips, moving them left and right.

“What’s the matter?”

“My lips and cheeks hurt.”

“I’m sorry, honey.”

“Don’t be,” you laughed with him. “It’s a good type of pain.” You kissed him, ignoring the aching muscles and your dry mouth.

[lazysimp]

Dark Clouds (+18) /// Shoto x Male Reader

Click HERE to read the Fem version

Rating: Explicit 18+ Only Minors DNI

Summary:  You love Shoto more than anything but what if you were the only thing standing in between him and his dreams? Smut+Angst

A prequel to Cloud Nine.

Word count: 3k+

Warnings/tags: Angst, Blackmail, Morning Sex, Breakup, Soft Dom Shoto, Praise, Explicit sexual content, Oral sex (receiving), He/Him pronouns, All characters are adults.

masterlist┃AO3

“Oh fuck Shoto! Please just a little more,” You beg, your back arching off the bed as you push his head down. Your fiancé had made it a habit to wake you up with his mouth on your cock, licking up your cum like it was his last meal.

After living together for a month you thought he would finally start to calm down but his need for you had only grown. He had barely left the apartment, deciding to take a vacation to spoil you instead of working on climbing the ranks. You tried to convince him to focus more on his career, but he would drop to his knees every time you brought it up.

“I love this pretty cock,” He groaned, swiping his tongue over your tender glands as more precum leaked from your slit. His lips closed around your tip, sucking it into his mouth while his fingers teased your tight hole.

You yelp and clench your thighs, caging in his head but he didn’t seem to mind. In fact, your soft thighs against his ears sent him into a frenzy. He thrust his long fingers into you, curling them up to press against your sweet spot.

Your body bolts up, curling around his head but he continued on, never giving you an ounce of mercy. With your head directly above his, the lewd sounds of his mouth filled your ear, sending you further down the rabbit hole.

He released your cock from his mouth and moved to your hole to gather more of your addicting taste with his tongue. “My baby has such a good hole. So tight and hot, and it’s all mine.”

You let out a whine at his praise, you wanted to always belong to him. To never leave his side as he rose to meet his dreams.

He added a third lubed finger into your ass, stretching you open in preparation for his cock. You hiss at the slight burn but it fades quickly as his expert fingers began to fall in temperature, soothing the ache. He had always been so considerate during sex, always making sure you were well stretched before he ever tried to enter you.

The first time the two of you had sex was not the greatest but it was a moment in your life you would never forget. For hours he explored your body, experimenting and exploring you to understand exactly what you liked. By the end of the night, you were both absolutely exhausted, barely able to move.

His tongue returned to your cock, teasing the side of it with the tongue as his fingers continue to pump into your ass. Your breathing grows frantic and your body becomes tight as the pleasure swelled inside you. You could feel your thighs tremble around his head and your hands shake.

He smiled as your sweet hole trembled around his fingers, his baby was close. Remembering to not speed up he kept his movements consistent, listening for your little mewls to direct his touch.

As your breathing grew more labored and body tense he took you all the way into his mouth, sucking to pull every last ounce of pleasure from you. It was the final straw, he watched in awe as you fell apart. Your ass milking his fingers while your cock pulsed in his mouth with each spurt of cum.

Normally he would keep his mouth on your cock, cleaning up your orgasm with his tongue but he had to be at work in twenty minutes. Grudgingly he moved his mouth from your sex and rose to his knees. He gently slid his hands under you and flipped you over, exposing your mouthwatering ass to his view.

Holding his breath to stop from cumming, he lifted your hips up and pushed your back down. It looked as though you were presenting yourself to him. While he loved watching your face as you cum, this view definitely had its perks.

Lining his tip with your entrance he watched himself sink into you. Your cute moans filling his ears, serenading him as he bottomed out. Wanting a better view, he grabbed your ass with his large hands and spread it open, exposing your tight rosebud. He ignored your squeal of protest and started to thrust, watching you take his cock so perfectly.

Each thrust into your tight heat drove him further into insanity. He would never grow tired of this, tired of you. He still wasn’t sure how he managed to get you to agree to marry him, it still felt unreal, like someone was going to rip the floor out from under him. Something as good as you never happened to someone like him, something always messed it up.

“Shoto,” You whine, dragging him out of his thoughts. “Fuck, I need more.”

Determined to have you cum around his cock he reached around and wrapped his hand around the base of your cock. He let out a sly grin watching your body jerk as he thrust his hand, knowing the extra stimulation would send you right over the edge.

“Please, Shoto, please,” You begged, the tight coil inside your chest reeling tighter with each lazy pump of his hand. You lose the ability to speak, only moans leaving your lips.

“That’s it, that is my good boy. So perfect for me. I want you to cum on my cock while I watch,” He says hoarsely behind you. That was all it took, the spring inside you snapped sending you spiraling into oblivion.

Your toes curl in uncontrollably as you scream into the pillow, the brutal waves of pleasure crashing into you. You couldn’t even breathe as your rode out each pulsing wave. His hand did not stop milking your cock, instead teasing you through the high. Making you ride the wave as long as possible before his thrusts started to fall out of rhythm.

You lay face down into the bed, exhausted as he finally falls apart. You could feel his cock pulse inside you as his cum fills you. Once he finally finished he rolled off the top and laid next to you, pulling you into his arms.

You both lay there for a few minutes, not needing words as you recover from the morning quickie. Shoto pushed himself up on his elbows and placed a soft kiss on your forehead. He then stood out of bed and started to get ready. You lie in bed and watch as he dons his uniform and smooths out his sex hair.

“I should be home for dinner today, I am only scheduled to patrol until five.”

You nod, “Do you want to go out? Mina said the new soba place was really good.”

Shoto flashed you a warm smile, “I would love that, I’ll see you tonight.”

You push up on your elbows to meet his lips for one last kiss before he leaves. No matter how many times you kissed him, he always managed to take your breath away. You bring your hand up to his cheek as he slowly pulled away and looked into his eyes.

“Please be safe.”

He tilts his head into your hand, giving you some of its weight. “Don’t worry, I promise I will always come back to you.”

You drop your hand and lay back down, watching as he leaves the confines of the bedroom, and listened for the front door to close. Slipping on one of your lazy shirts, you make your way to the kitchen. You grab a few ingredients and cook a quick breakfast, eating it while you watch the news. Thankfully there was nothing big going on in the city, only a few petty criminals.

Shoto was more capable of taking care of himself but it was hard not to worry. You knew what you signed up for when you agreed to go out with Shoto, but he made all the stress and worry worth it.

You sit at the small counter and eat your breakfast. You avoid scheduling anything on your days off just in case they let Shoto off early so you had nothing planned. You put your dishes in the sink and start to collect some laundry, you could at least clean up some before you rested.

A loud buzz filled the apartment signaling someone was wanting to come up. You drop off the laundry and click on the speaker. Shoto had chosen this apartment because of the added security measures in place. No one could come up to the floor without a key or explicit permission.

“Hello?” You say into the small mic, unsure who would be asking to come up. Shoto hadn’t mention anyone planning on coming over.

“Can I come up?” The deep powerful voice of Endeavor said to the mic.

For a brief moment, your heart stopped. You tried to frantically think of what to say but no words came to mind. You had only ever met him once and you had Shoto by your side. You know he does not approve of your relationship with Shoto, after all, Shoto is going to be one of the world’s strongest heroes and you were well you.

“Just a minute,” You say to buy time as you debate whether or not to call Shoto. On one hand, having him by your side would keep Endeavor in line but on the other, you should be able to handle being around your fiance’s father. After all once you get married he will be family.

You suck in a stabilizing breath and call down to the front desk to give Endeavor permission to come up. While you waited for him to arrive you run to the bedroom and quickly put on a more presentable outfit. You still wanted to call Shoto, to have his supporting hand at the small of your back as you talk to the flame hero.

Three stern knocks signaled that Endeavor had arrived. You turn the knob and ignore the dread filling your stomach, you could do this. Endeavor knew better than to hurt you, he probably just wanted to talk about your engagement.

You stood frozen in the doorway and stare at the flame hero. He did not have any of his usual fire blazing, letting you see his natural hair better. Without his flames or hero uniform, he was a lot less intimidating.

You plaster on your best smile, “Please, come in.”

He steps into your shared apartment and takes off his shoes. You smile, this was definitely a good start. You both silently make your way to the dining room and sit. You were unsure what you need to do so you sit silently and wait.

Endeavor cleared his throat, “This is a very nice place the two of you share. Shoto chose well.”

You give a cautious smile, “I do really love this apartment. I have never lived somewhere with a view as nice as this one and it is easy for both of us to get to work from here.”

Endeavor nodded, “I won’t waste any more of your time, pretending to be here for a visit. I am sure you have seen the news lately. Shoto has fallen over two spots in rank compared to last year. After evaluating his skills and performance in the field, my agency has determined that his fall in rank is due to the amount of time he is taking off.”

You stiffen in your seat, scared of where this is going to go.

“I allowed this relationship to continue as it was not worth getting Shoto upset with my interference, but this is going too far. You are ruining his chances at becoming the number one hero.”

Your mouth dropped open in shock, “Excuse me!”

Endeavor reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small booklet. He opens it to reveal a single check. He pushes it over to you, the box for the amount was blank.

“You fill out how much you want to leave this relationship.”

“You can’t be serious, what kind of person do you think I am?”

Endeavor’s face held no emotion, “How much?”

Your face twists in anger, “Fuck you! I’m not leaving Shoto, not for any amount of money. You can take this check and shove it-”

“If you do not leave I will be forced to take action.”

A rush of fear runs through you, “What do you mean?”

Endeavor sighed, “I let Shoto leave my agency with the understanding that he would still work to climb his way to the top. He is no longer doing this. If he continues like this I will have to call up the agency he is working at and have him removed from their staff.”

“Removed, you mean fired. You will have him fired because he is going to marry me?” Your throat began to grow tight as the world started to close in around you.

“I am going to have him removed because he can’t do his job properly and be with you.”

You begin to shake, “And how is that going to help him become the number one hero?”

“Simple, he will have to come work for me again. Under my influence, he will take over the number one spot in no time.”

“You know he hates working for you. He loves the agency he is working at, you would rip that way from him?”

Endeavor’s flames started to sprout, “I have seen too many heroes with potential never amount to anything because of relationships like yours. I will be damned if the same happens to Shoto.”

“So I will talk to Shoto about not taking as much time off.” You try to reason.

Endeavor shakes his head, “It is far too late for that. It is not just me who is taking notice to his slacking. If he continues to behave the way he is, I won’t even need to make the call to have him removed. If you want him to not have to work for me you will leave him or all of this will be your fault.”

Endeavor stands to his full height, “After today if I see you anywhere with him he will come to work for me whether he wants to or not.”

He leaves you to sit alone in the apartment. You sit still in your chair, unsure what to think. How could a morning that started so perfect end up like this? You somehow managed not to cry, too focused on figuring out what to do.

You know Shoto loved you, he made sure to tell you almost every day, but could he love you if it meant he had to do something he hated? He loved working at the agency with Inasa and others. The time he spent working under his dad was some of the most miserable of his life.

The entire reason the two of you even met was that he went out with his friends to celebrate finally leaving his father’s agency. How could you ask him to stay with you if it meant returning to misery?

With no one to turn to you flip on the tv, needed background noise as you try to find a solution. You could not ask Mina or Kirishima for help, they would spill to Shoto the minute you told them. If he even caught a hint at what was going on he would go berserk.

You had only ever seen him mad once when a fan tried to throw something at you. His entire demeanor changed from quiet and calm into a simmering rage. He would have easily laid out the fan but you somehow managed to calm him enough to convince him to go home. He had spent hours fucking you to get out his rage. By the time he was back to normal your entire body was covered in hickeys and bruises.

You shake your head to clear your mind of, this was not time to think about sex. You look around the apartment you share with Shoto and feel tears begin to well in your eyes. You didn’t want to leave him. Being with him these past few months had been the happiest of your life. You had never loved someone like you loved him.

Could you live with yourself if you had to watch the beautiful light in his eyes fade if he worked for Endeavor? In the dark of night, Shoto would confide in you about his childhood. How his father only saw him as a tool to overcome All Might. If you stayed with him he would have to be around that mindset every day.

Shoto deserved happiness, even if it was not with you. He was young and handsome, he could easily find someone else. You know it will be hard on him but you could not live with yourself if you had to watch him grow to be miserable.

You lift your chin up, you had to break up with Shoto, it was the only option.

You turn to the bedroom and grab a duffel bag you used moving in. You had to move your stuff out before he got home. You know if he had time he would be able to convince you to stay.

You haphazardly pack away your clothes, not bothering to fold the piles as you shove them into the bag. You would only be able to pack a bag without a car to move.

The small click of a lock stopped you dead in your tracts. No, he wasn’t supposed to be home for at least another hour. The bag drops out of your fingers and you run to the living room. He was standing in the kitchen with the fridge open. He did always get hungry after patrol.

He turned his head at the sound of your footsteps and smiled. Your heart finally broke in half, you were never going to have this again. Deep sobs tore up your throat and before you could stop them fat tears began to fall.

Shoto’s face filled with panic and he rushed over to you, wrapping his strong arms around your waist and pulling you into his chest.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, his voice filled with panic.

This only makes you cry harder, you didn’t want to do this. The weight of your loss grew stronger as his hold tightened.

“W-we have to break up,” You incoherently sob into his chest.

“Baby, I don’t understand what you are saying, can you look at me?” He gently bruised his hand up your forehead pushing your head back so he could look into your eyes.

Your lower lip trembles but you somehow manage to speak, “I am calling off the engagement, I can’t do this anymore.”

You watch as his face drops, his eyes wide with confusion, “Baby, what are you talking about? What is wrong, did something happen when I was gone?”

You shake your head, “I can’t do this anymore.” Lie. “Being with you is exhausting.” Lie. “I thought you were the one but I was wrong.” Lies, lies, lies. You hate every word that comes from your lips but this had to hurt. You had to make him hate you, it was the only way.

He drops the arms that once held you close to him, “I don’t, I don’t understand? We were fine this morning, what happened?” His blue eyes were glossy with unfallen tears.

You wrapped your arms tight around your waist for mock comfort. “I-I have been thinking about this since you proposed, I can’t handle dating a hero it is too much stress. I am m-miserable.”

Watching Shoto struggle to speak as he processed what you said hurt more than just ripping your own heart out.

“Why didn’t you say something sooner? Why did you let this go on for so long if you felt that way?”

You shake your head, “I thought I would get used to it, but it has only gotten worse.”

“But this morning and every day before that you never said anything. You seemed happy.” He turned his back to you and walked towards the kitchen.

“Why now? What changed?”

You needed to end this before he asked any more questions, you let thick walls close around your heart and go for the kill, “Because I don’t love you anymore.”

His entire face crumbles as if you had stabbed him. Unable to look at him any longer you grab your duffel from the bedroom. You take one last look at the bedroom, the bed still a mess after this morning.

The weight of your loss was so suffocating you couldn’t even breathe as you walk past Shoto. He stood still in the living room unmoving in shock. He blinked strongly a few times like he was trying to wake up from a terrible nightmare.

You reach the front door “I am going to stay at Mina’s if you need anything. I’m so sorry Shoto.”

This was for the best, he could receiver from losing you. You were only in his life for a few months but his dream of being a hero had been lifelong. This breakup will only be a road bump in his journey to success. You knew he will reach the top, it just won’t be with you.

[sukirichi]

overtime

You let your boyfriend release stress from working overtime.

REQUEST. med! student au / doctor! au + forbidden relationship + praising kink + dacryphilia

CONTENT/WARNINGS. praising kink, dacryphilia, face fucking, huge age gap (Nanami is like 20 years older), mentions of gloomy atmospheres expected of medical centres, gagging, mentions of previous lovemaking sessions

NOTES. ah thank you for this request anon, i’m really in love with the whole med student / doctor au ingredient cuz well...it’s sorta self-indulgent. i hope you liked this as much as i did!

The familiar stingy aroma of disinfectant looms at every corner of the wall, pressing down beneath your scrubs and deep into your scrubs. You find it ironic that the walls are always so white, barely any colour to surround the entire building. Growing up, you believe that white represents tranquillity, silence, and serenity – which is the exact opposite of what university hospitals really are.

You’re no stranger to the pained moans echoing at the ends of the hall, the sight of children with sunken cheeks playing with a cannula almost too painful to look at.

The clock above the front desks reads that it’s a little past four in the morning, and you’re beyond weary. You’ve grown used to just being high off caffeine and being satisfied with quick ten minute naps before you’re summoned again. People always ask you, why choose this profession? You could make as much money without having to be this tired, to which you always respond with a frown, claiming that it’s never about the money and actual working professionals are a lot more exhausted than you are, yet not once have they complained.

They do have their days though, and it just so happens that it’s one of your superior’s days as he tugs at your wrist, dragging you inside the nearest empty room before soft lips dive down to capture yours.

You don’t have to open your eyes to know it’s him.

You’ve fooled around long enough with your superior to know it’s his scent washing over yours, that all too familiar tent growing in his pants pressing between your legs and bumping your core as a silent promise of what’s to come next. A stuttered, breathy moan immediately greets his ears when he pins your arms overhead, his lips falling into the sweet column of your neck.

It’s clear that this is wrong – both of you know this – but the pleasure and need to relieve stress in such an overwhelming environment clouds both your consciousness that neither parties pull away.

Your relationship with him started off with just curiosity.

Doctor Nanami is a well accomplished man, earning beyond money and titles in his twenty years of service in the field. He knows he looks good, knows he’s irresistible every time he comes in front of the class, looking equally dashing in either a nude suit or in white coats. Someone of his age and experience definitely is no fool to the way his bright eyed student’s gaze lingers over his lips as she stays behind in class to ask about something she doesn’t get far longer than should be necessary.

He’s an expert at the human body more than anything else – Nanami knows lust when he sees one.

And he’s always been such a kind, concerned doctor who only wants everyone to feel better that how could he say no to you, especially when you’re only so eager to suck him off under the table, getting off to the fact your pretty lips are wrapped around his thick and veiny cock?

What once starts off as a mutual agreement to use each other for pleasure while still keeping the faux professionalism to not lose face, something shifts during the stolen kisses during break times and heated touches as promises of I’ll see you later after overtimes. Private tutoring sessions turns into moments of reminiscing childhoods, hands splayed all over his chest while he tucks you in his arms, mumbling something about always have wanting to be his own version of a hero.

Things move faster than both of you realize, the titles dropped and replaced with sweethearts and good morning sir topped with a sweet, intimate smile that only he could ever know the meaning of.

It’s simple, longing, and definitely unprofessional, even more so when Nanami pushes you down on the floor, eager hands unbuckling his belt to spring his cock free. Your mouth salivates at the red pulsing tip already leaking with pre-cum, your tiny hands on its way to wrap itself around his base when Nanami takes matters into his own hands and slips his cock through your lips in one thrust.

Your back hits the wall and your eyes spring with tears, gurgled sounds of Nanami fucking down your throat lewd and dirty in the empty room. He sighs, chest panting and hands cradling your head. “You feel so good, sweetheart,” he praises, bucking his hips further inside. “Don’t know what I’d do without you here, always so ready to make me feel good.”

The moan you let out vibrates around his cock, fuelling his desire intensely.

Nanami has always been gentle with you; as a man who values time over anything else, he likes to savour each second he has with you, slow, rough hands running up and down the curve of your spine before he flicks his tongue deep within your pussy, wanting to make you cum countless times before he makes love to you. Had you both been home, he’d cradle your face and stare deep into your eyes as he fucks you, sweat tinged from the slight burrow of his brows as he commands, “Look at me. Look at me when I’m fucking you, angel.”

And you being you, you’ll remain submissive to the pleasure he’s more than glad to give you, leg wrapping around his waist all to feel the way he’s hitting deep inside your sopping cunt.

He’s impatient this time around, and you can’t blame him. You’ve barely seen each other from hours of working overtime, with you staying up late to study for finals and him barely leaving the operating rooms. You gladly let him use you like this just as he’s allowed you to cum multiple times before despite his clear order to hold back, but Nanami is a soft man at heart, unable to resist his precious lover when you’re trembling around him like that.

Nanami places a palm at the back of your head to prevent you getting fucked into the wall, his pace not slowing down a bit. He gazes at you under his lashes, cheeks hollowed and drool dribbling from the edges of your lips.

He finds you utterly filthy, a complete contrast to the well-put med-student who’s always admired and looked up to by their peers. Nanami groans as his tip hits the back of your throat, your nose pressing down on the neatly trimmed blond hairs brushed on his base. You gag around him, the tears crystallizing your cheeks. Filthy, yet still so pretty his little angel is, and for a moment, Nanami pauses, captivated by your beauty.

His cock is still pulsing inside your mouth, a thumb running across your tears to wipe them away. Nanami grabs your chin to tilt your head up, and he swears he could cum right then and there. You’re kneeling on the bleached floors, eyes wide with a tinge of innocence, tears collected in your lashes and cheeks sucked to take him in deep.

“Always so pretty for me, angel,” he coos, sliding his drenched cock out your mouth gruesomely slow, stopping only with the tip in. “Is my cock making you cry? You’ve taken me before, angel, this isn’t difficult for you now, is it?”

You hum around his cock as a response, and Nanami bucks into your mouth by accident, causing his length to slip past your walls until he’s right at your throat.

He’s big and long, his dick always having been a blessing to the both of you, but at this time, it feels more like a curse. Drips of cum paints the back of your mouth but you only grip your thigh harder, ignoring the painful throbbing of your cunt that’s so needy for him already. You remind yourself not to be selfish and focus on him instead, to your precious superior who needs you to help get his mind off things.

Eager to be of service as always, you swipe your tongue all over the ridges of his cock, making sure to press the wet muscle harder on the prominent veins. Nanami throws his head back to moan, his nails gently scraping your scalp with each thrust.

It’s hard to tell who’s setting the pace, but it becomes clear as you kneel there motionlessly, squeezing his ass instead while he relentlessly fucks your mouth. His groans are growing louder, breaths falling out of rhythm with each passing seconds. Your eyes are shut tight as you let him abuse your throat, hitting deep inside you with each precise thrust in addition to his balls slapping your chin.

Your face is sopping wet, both from drool, tears, and his cum. You stay there like a good girl, doing your best to breathe through your nose as he throbs inside you. Nanami’s words are garbled and incomprehensible, enticed to only snap his harder when he sees your tears streaming down your face and wetting your scrubs.

His length slips past inside your mouth into an impossibly deeper angle as he tugs your hair up, his knees bent just to continuously pummel against your tonsils as if it was his own winning goal. Your cries increase in volume at the way he’s losing himself in you, forgetting to watch the back of your head before he thrusts all the way, keeping you flat and frozen gagging on his cock, nose nudged against his hairs.

Nanami’s groan is accompanied by the twitching of his cock, and he cums, thick spurts of white shooting down your throat. You try to pull yourself away from him after that, thinking that he’s satisfied, but he only grips your hair harder as a warning.

Still struggling to breathe, you swallow around his thick saliva-drenched length, the mere motion of you gulping making your walls close down on him.

Nanami grunts at the oversensitivity and he pulls out, his dick growing boneless and soft.

He’s utterly spent, your drool and his cum dripping down to the floors in audible plaps. Nanami sighs as he takes sanitary wipes from the unused desk to wipe his dick clean, while you stay on the ground, palms flat beneath you as you pant for air.

You can tell you’ll have a sore throat by tomorrow because you utterly fucked, voice growing hoarse with each failed cough. Falling back onto the wall, you close your eyes, only to snap them open again when you feel something wet and warm rubbing your skin.

Nanami is in front of you, his touch gentle and eyes soft as he cleans your face, thumb absentmindedly cradling your bottom lip.

You don’t fight back the smile that matches his. Even after everything, Nanami is still your boyfriend, someone who isn’t just a good fuck to you anymore. This is only one of the reasons you’ve fallen so madly in love with him; his effortless ability to take care of others truly meritorious of him.

He dunks them into nearest bin and kisses you flat on the lips, his large hand cupping your cheeks. You sigh into the slow kiss, enjoying what little – and fleeting – time you have with him.

Nanami pulls away with a popping sound, a lovesick smile on his usually stoic expression. It makes you feel giddy and even a little shy, forgetting the fact he just fucked your skull seconds ago, but it’s rare that he lets his guard down anywhere that isn’t the comfort and safety of his home. You’re his home though, and he kisses you one last time, the gesture telling a thousand more words than he’s ever able to.

“Thank you,” he whispers, “I promise I’ll make it up to you when we’re both home.”

You don’t stop him once he finally leaves the room, his rushed footsteps to make it back to the operating room a signal for you to get back to work too. It’s already five am when you’ve made it back to your post, but instead of feeling tired, you’re a lot more energized compared to when you first got here.

Perhaps working overtime isn’t so bad after all, not when there’s always a promise you and Nanami are never leaving the bed for the free weekend.

You’ll just have to be patient.

[seriouslysnape]

To the Limit

__

Severus Snape x Fem. Reader

Warnings: Slight smut. Use of safeword. Language.

Request: Hi! Can u make Severus × Reader when the reader use the safe words for the first time because idk maybe it's too much for the reader that day or smth else you like..Thankyouu 💕💕 love ur writings btw ❤❤

A/N: Here we gooooooo. Reminder, everything is consensual.

Word Count: 2,947

“Okay, darling. Whatever you want.”

__

Severus has always been flexible in the bedroom. Yes, Severus Snape is versatile in the sheets and has more love making skills than you originally would’ve given him credit for. Sex with Severus can range anywhere from slow and careful where praising your body is his main objective, to fucking you so mercilessly that stars are dotting the back of your eyelids with each hard thrust.

Sometimes, you don’t have to establish what kind of theme your sessions will take on. If Severus comes home angry from a long, obnoxious day then you very well know that a rough fucking will get it out of his system. When you’ve just watched one of your favorite romantic drama Muggle movies that have sent you into tears, he knows that something more unhurried is in order so you are reminded of how much he loves you.

Other times though, there isn’t really anything that determines the kind of sex you’ll be having. If the mood is right for both of you, then you often will just figure it out from there. 

Severus’ return on Friday night from a long week of classes was coated with his desire for you. You could practically feel the hard sexual tension radiating off of his whole being. From the moment he walked in the door, you knew what tonight would hold for the both of you. More than likely, it’d be a whole lot of rutted fucking and orgasms until neither of you had any stamina left to give. Normally, a seed of excitement would be planted and begin to grow in your core at the thought of being touched by him, but you didn’t feel it this time. 

It had been a bad week to put it simply. Work was weighing you down and you had taken more hits than you were used to in a five day time period. Exhaustion had riddled you, and stress has gotten the best of you. Emotional breakdown was the only way you could describe how you were feeling. You really weren’t feeling up to what Severus wanted to do. However, you couldn’t bring yourself to deny him when his hands and lips were on you, moving to all his favorite places on you.

His voice was silky smooth in your ears as he uplifted you with how he had been thinking about you all day, and how he wanted to be with you when you weren’t around. It wasn’t Severus’ fault that you had a bad week, and it surely wasn’t all his fault that he was this turned on. The way he gripped your legs with his strong hands was an indicator that he wanted to go well into the night, which your tired state wasn’t a fan of. But you loved Severus, and you always wanted him to be happy and well pleased. So you figured you could handle a couple of coarse rounds to satisfy him.

Oh, how wrong you were.

Once access was granted, Severus leapt onto you without hesitation. A tornado of clothes being removed whirled around the room, your shirt and pants ended up on complete opposite sides of the room. Hot and unruly kisses were shared, marks were left on your necks, and no part of you went unattended. 

Admittedly, the first orgasm was actually enjoyable. Severus’ fingers were knuckle deep in your needy cunt and pumping vigorously as he found all the best spots. The strenuous activity melted some of the week’s stress from your conscience, your mind being stripped of all your worry as it clouded with ecstasy. Severus thrived off of the moans and noises of delight that he was drawing out of your throat, perfecting his movements to give you an even stronger release. Severus worked you to your finish as you came around his fingers, slicking them with arousal and relief. 

He left lazy kisses over your breasts while you took a moment to recover, preparing yourself for the next round that was undoubtedly on its way. Tiredness had plagued you long before Severus had even walked through the door, and you had suddenly been robbed of even more energy, so you were confident that you might not get a proper orgasm this second time. But the moment Severus slid you onto his dick and stretched your walls the way only he knew how to, you knew that you were going to cum whether you felt like you could handle it or not.

It wasn’t that you didn’t want to. You loved seeing Severus so enraptured in waves of pleasure and gratification, but you were beyond fatigued. Still, you bounced up and down on his lap over and over again, your already sensitive clit throbbing with each rub of his fingers. Severus’ other hand guided your hip movements to meet the way he thrusted up into you, hitting your g-spot just right.

When you came this time, your sound of release was more of a strained cry than a content sound. Severus didn’t seem to notice, since he was too focused on the intoxicating feeling of filling you with his own finish. You popped off of him before he was even emptied out, the rest of his fluids landing on your inner thighs. You fell onto the bed next to him, your breathing much heavier than usual. 

You were totally tuckered out with absolutely no hope of another round. Your muscles ached and your bones were wiped out. Although, you felt a queasy feeling of despair when you saw that familiar look of lust in Severus’ eyes. He spoke lowly, his voice echoing in your ringing ears.

“I’m not through with you yet, love.” He purred.

Usually that would’ve sent a whole mess of arousal through you, but you were too worn out. But Severus usually didn’t last more than three rounds, so this would for sure be the last one. You thought you could push through so he could at least get his release, but this third go round wasn’t a good feeling for you at all.

With your arms above your head and the pillowcase below your head in your fingers’ death grip, you turned your head to the side to fight through his persistent hard fucking into you. On a better day, you’d be all over this and relishing every moment. But now your eyes were screwed tightly shut in discomfort, for each time you opened them Severus would only be able to see the whites of your eyes. The thumping heartbeat in your ears was deafening and your entire body was stiff and rigid, but not in a good way. You wanted to tough it out so at least Severus could finish, but it was just too much for you tonight. 

You had to tap out.

“Polyjuice!” You squeaked out, your voice raspy.

In an instant, you saw any expression of lust wiped straight from his face. He pulled out the millisecond that the word registered in his head, his face stricken with worry and concern at the first time use of your agreed safe word. Severus’ heart dropped at your whimpers of displeasure, his brain reeling and raking over what had gone wrong. 

“[Y/N], what’s wrong? What happened?” He asked frantically.

“I-I just...”

Shaky breaths and uncomfortable whines were the only noises you could seem to make. You sat up from where you were laying down, bringing your knees to your chest and hiding your face as you began to cry. Your emotions were all over the place, and it didn’t help that you were overstimulated and overworked. Severus went to pull you to him, but withdrew his hand. Upsetting you further would absolutely crush him, but he needed to know that you were okay.

“Can I touch you, darling?” He whispered out.

The yowl of approval was enough for him to feel fine with carefully wrapping his hand under your arm and dragging you across the mattress to where he was kneeling on the middle of the bed. He pulled the covers over your skin to keep you from getting cold from the loss of heat from being active. You buried your head into his bare chest, your tears leaking and falling down his skin. 

“I’m sorry, Sev. I’m really sorry.” You sobbed, your hair sticking to your sweaty skin.

“No, no, no. Don’t ever be sorry for telling me to stop when you’re not comfortable,” He reassured; “I didn’t hurt you, did I?” 

The shake of your head brought relief upon him, but he was still worried. He rocked you in his arms until your sobs died down enough to where you were coherent. Severus was getting ready to ask you once more what was wrong, shifting you so he could see your face. When moving you, his hand accidentally brushed against your swollen, sensitive clit and you wailed out pathetically. Severus’ pale face went even whiter.

“Oh, my love...I worked you too hard, didn’t I?” He queried.

Severus would always admit that sometimes he’d get into the zone and completely drown everything else out. He wouldn’t really be able to tell how hard he was pulling in and out. It was rare, but from time to time you’d have to ask him to soften his thrusts or slow his pace when he got too rowdy. But you had never asked him to stop completely until now. He feared that he had seriously pushed you over the edge this time.

“It’s not just that.” You confessed with a sniff.

Severus had drawn your head back to gaze into your bleary eyes. The tear tracks being swiped away with his thumbs as he cradled your face. 

“What is it then, sweetheart?” He asked with wonder.

A fresh set of salty tears pooled and fell down your cheeks, but for a different reason.

“I’ve had a horrible week. Nothing has gone right,” You explained croakily; “I wanted to make you feel good and I thought it might make me feel better...but I’m just exhausted and I couldn’t handle it tonight.”

You fell apart into another set of choking sobs and gut wrenching cries, prompting Severus to bring you back into his chest. He stroked your skin and left kisses so light that they were ghostly. 

“It’s alright, angel. I wish you had told me before that you weren’t feeling up to it,” He consoled; “You’re worth so much more than sex. I want you to tell me sooner next time if you’re uncomfortable.”

Your nod of understanding offered a wash of comfort over him that you were calming down steadily. He hated that this happened. He knew that was the whole reason for your established safe word for when things went south or things got dicey. He just never thought you’d ever have to use it. He felt absolutely terrible. 

“I’m sorry, Sevvy. I really wanted you to get off, I just-”

“Please don’t apologize for this. This is my fault. I should’ve seen how tired you were and how I was being overly hard,” He said; “I’m the one that should be sorry.”

The sniffles from your nose had increased as you tried to flush down all the drainage from your crying. Your tears had stopped as you sat up from his body, wiping at your cheeks with the back of your hand. The red blotches in your puffy eyes were pinging at Severus’ already guilty conscience. He saw the littered hickeys across your neck and breasts, and how your lips were swollen from his severe kisses. He had rocked your burnt out body to the max.

“I’ll tell you what. How about we go get cleaned up, and then we can get into bed. Then you can tell me about your week if so wish.” He suggested, cautiously guiding you off of the bed.

“I think I just want to get a bath and get some sleep.” You said, barely able to stand on your wobbly legs.

“Okay, darling. Whatever you want.” He smiled softly, hoping it’d offer you some kind of solace. 

Severus ran you a hot bath, filling it with all of your favorite scents and smells. Your stance was still despite your shaking legs, and you seemed to be staring off into an endless trance. You slipped into the tub when it was ready, sinking down just below your nose under the bubbles. Normally, Severus would be sitting across from you or you’d be snuggled up on his lap, but he wanted you to have some space for a bit. You were honestly too tired to object. 

He simply casted a charm to freshen himself up, finding and selecting his favorite pair of sweatpants and soft shirt for you to change into. Your eyes were closed, and you had just begun to drift off to sleep when he re-entered the bathroom, changed into some casual day time wear, despite how late it was.

“Here are some clean clothes for you, pretty girl.” He remarked, setting the folded sweats and shirt on the end of the tub for you to get when you got out.

You only gave a light nod as a response, your eyes following him as he stood awkwardly. He was unsure of what to do for you now. He thought that you might want the bedroom to yourself for the night, which was fine because he wouldn’t be able to sleep knowing he had pushed you so hard anyway. He placed himself on the floor by the tub, sitting with his legs criss crossed over one another. It was quiet in the room, the only sounds were the occasional gentle splash when you moved your leg or arm. His eyes were still full of worry, and he was kicking himself big time now.

“I’m so sorry...” He breathed out, running his fingertips dragging leisurely your damp arm that you had resting on the ledge of the bathtub; “I never meant to hurt you.”

“You didn’t hurt me, Sev. I promise.” You responded, wishing he wouldn’t take this so hard.

When it came to you, Severus took everything to heart. There weren’t many things in the world that made his heart beat with a purpose. You were the single person that allowed him to want to get up in the mornings. The thought of hurting you was enough to break him down. If he could have it his way, you would be indescribably happy with every passing moment of every day. He never wanted you to feel anything other than joy. 

But he knew that life would never allow it.

Your eyebrows dipped when you noticed his attire, wondering why he wasn’t in his own sleepwear. It was much too late for him to go anywhere.

“Where are you going?” You questioned, your voice thick with weary.

“I’m going to go back to the school. I have some grading to do.” He half-lied.

It was true that he did indeed have a stack of papers to be assessed, but that wasn’t the real reason why he felt like he wanted to leave. Severus Snape grading on a Friday night when he had the opportunity to be cuddled up with his lover? He’d choose you every time.

Now you felt bad for causing him to scurry off. You wanted him there with you regardless of what had happened.

“Severus,” You called out tenderly, reaching for his face; “I don’t want you to leave.” 

A genuine look of doubt flashed over his features as his head lulled into your hand.

“I think it would be best if you got some good sleep tonight. I’ll just be in my office so if-”

“Stay with me. Please?” You requested, the thought of sleeping without him was disheartening.

A sigh of awe expelled from his chest. He couldn’t say no to your puppy eyes and slightly pouting lower lip.

“Okay, okay.” He agreed.

“I think that some boyfriend snuggles will make me feel a whole lot better.” You spoke rather cheekily.

He hummed affirmatively. The sound of nestling up with you was impossible to turn down. He took your hand from his face and kissed your palm gingerly, holding the warm skin to his lips for a brief moment. He eventually stood from the floor, but stopped when you held your arms up.

“Help me up?” You asked with the first genuine smile of the evening.

He chuckled, obliging and lifting you effortlessly from the tub. The warm towel was heavenly as you dried off, changing into the clothes that Severus had left for you. Severus went and changed as well, laughing to himself when he exited the closet to see you already curled up. 

The sheets draped over him easily when he laid next to you, waiting for you to nuzzle up to him. He held you close and flush to him, thanking his lucky stars that you were okay.

“My sweet girl...” He hushed out, noting that you were just seconds away from falling asleep; “I love you.” 

You mumbled out a sleepy “I love you” in return before drifting into a deep slumber to snooze off the night’s drama. Severus, as expected, didn’t sleep much that night to ensure that you were sleeping soundly and comfortably. He still felt dreadful, even after you had told him over and over that he didn’t hurt you. The weekend to follow was filled with Severus doting and cherishing over you every chance that he had, trying to make up for what had happened. You were the light of his life after all.

And he prayed that he’d never see that flame go out.

[breakyeol]

touch it (sensual oils)

one shot

┗ pairing : baekhyun x reader

words: 4k

warnings: smut, sensual massage, byun-booty, hand job, light overstimulation 

a/n; because baekhyun deserves it

Baekhyun had a bad day.

That much was glaringly obvious from the very moment he stepped through the door, looking about ready to crawl beneath your bedsheets and never come out. He collapsed into your arms with a pathetic whine the moment you rose from where you were situated on the couch, the full weight of his body thrown against your chest. You grunted at the unexpected impact, quickly wrapping your arms around his slim waist when you felt his knees beginning to give out.

“Baek!” You yelped, struggling feebly to support the both of you. “What are you doing?!”

“I’m too tired to stand,” he cried out dramatically, voice muffled against your shoulder, “my body feels like it’s turning into mush.”

You clicked your tongue at his familiar dramatics, a fond smile flitting across your lips in spite of yourself. “Oh my poor baby~” you cooed playfully, petting the top of his head, “they worked you into the ground?”

A heavy pout tugged at the corners of his lips, big droopy eyes swinging up to meet yours as he bobbed his head. “I’m already sore. I’m not gonna be able to move tomorrow.” He complained noisily, hands curling into tight fists around the material of your sweatshirt.

This close, you could easily make out the lingering scent of sweat clinging to his skin, and you didn’t doubt for a second he worked until he was drenched in it. There was a flash, an image that passed before your eyes, of Baekhyun, sweat rolling down the smooth slope of his chin, dripping from the fringes of his bangs, glistening enticingly above his brow, his mouth pink and open, gasping. It vanished just as quickly as it had come, and your attention was drawn back to the whining mess of a man squirming against your chest.

“Go shower,” you suggested, not trusting your voice above a careful whisper, “then come to bed, okay?”

“I don’t want to. Just hold me.”

You snickered, combing your fingers through the short hairs on the back of his neck, feeling the way his body melted into the tender caress. “I will gladly hold you for the rest of the night… after you take a shower.”

He only offered an unintelligible grunt in response, showing no signs of detaching himself from your body, his hold around you tightening in a display of stubborn resistance. There was little doubt in your mind that he’d keep this up for as long as your patience allowed – which, given how soft you were for the man, was a fairly long time –, but you knew you’d both be better off once he felt clean and refreshed, cleansed of the day’s many hardships.

“You’ll feel a lot better afterwards.”

A groan this time.

“I’ll make you feel a lot better afterwards.”

At that reparation, his head snapped up, eyes wide and, despite the exhaustion, glinting with a hint of excitement. His spine straightened, grip around you loosening somewhat as strength seemed to return to his muscles. “Really?” He whispered, pink tongue slipping out from between petal lips. So easy. You could’ve scoffed, but thought better of yourself, settling for a suggestive cock of your head that could be interpreted in a number of ways.

“Go shower,” you hummed, pinching his chin between your thumb and index finger and guiding his face down towards yours, “then… we’ll see.”

He let out a huff of breath, eyes going hooded as they flickered down to trace the smug curve of lips. “You’re mean.”

You laughed lightly, planting a kiss that was far too short for Baekhyun’s liking to his pouted mouth before skillfully untangling yourself from his arms. “We’ll see just how mean I can be once you come to bed.” You called teasingly over your shoulder, grinning in wild amusement at the low curse that followed.

It wasn’t too long after you’d made your way into the bedroom that you heard the soft hiss of the shower. You waited until you heard the low groan that told you that your boyfriend had finally stepped beneath the hot spray to permeate through the separating wall before you jumped into action.

This wasn’t the first time Baekhyun had come home looking ready to collapse and you doubted it would be the last. There wasn’t much you could do about him having to go to work. No matter what you said or how many times you told him he should give himself a chance to rest and recover, he would always put his everything into his work, because that was just the kind of man he was. He was all passion and fire and unrelenting persistence even when he felt like he might die. It was a quality that sparked both admiration and fear inside of you.

There was a certain helplessness that came with being the person he came home to after a long day of work, body and mind teetering dangerously on the brink of exhaustion. There wasn’t much you could do to ease his stress, as he wasn’t the type to verbally unload or express his unease to its full extent. Sure, he was dramatic, but only in a playful sense. That was his way of downplaying and covering up his true feelings, to both you and himself.

But, there were still other ways you could help. And, with some brainstorming and a bit of research, you’d come up with the perfect plan to help ease some of Baekhyun’s tension. Though, you had to scramble a bit to set the scene, you knew it would be fully worth it to see the look on his face.

It was just as you’d lit the final candle, completing the final touches, that you heard the shower shut off. Perfect timing. You quickly situated yourself on the edge of the bed, the cool air caressing your scantily clad body, rousing goosebumps across your skin.

But, the chills tickling your spine were little more than a second thought as Baekhyun stepped into the room donning nothing more than a towel that hung dangerously low on his full hips. He paused just inside the doorway, his brows shooting upwards as he took in the state of your shared bedroom. Wide eyes danced over the flickering candles laid out strategically across the hardwood floor to encircle the bed, swept over the scattered rose petals, before finally landing on you.

You, wearing a deep crimson lingerie set, a sheer silk robe, and nothing more.

His bare chest, still glistening with water droplets, rose sharply as his breath hitched. A low curse tumbled from his lips, almost too faint to hear over the seductive instrumentals pulsing from the speakers.

A satisfied smirk broke across your face at his reaction, pleased with yourself for having successfully caught him off guard.

“Surprise,” you sang, voice low and silken.

For a moment, he didn’t move, his own amazement rooting him in place as he visually inhaled the sight of you. Your skin was hot beneath the intensity of his gaze, blazing as it trailed torturously slow up the length of your body, not daring to miss a single detail.

A faint buzz of nerves fizzled in your gut.

You’d never done anything like this before. Presented yourself in such a way to him, that is. All wrapped up in silk and lace of only the most sensual nature, bathed in smooth orange candlelight that tickled your ankles and crept up the smooth length of your lower legs. This was something new for the both of you, something unexplored. But it also wasn’t everything you had in store.

When he moved, it was with the utmost cautiousness, as if stepping too quickly or too harshly might disturb the beautiful illusion spread before him. But still, he moved, unable to resist the temptation.

Without speaking, his hands found your face, curving around the shape of your jaw and winding around the back of your neck. They were cold against your skin, and you couldn’t suppress the shiver that rippled down your spine as he leaned over you. You let out a soft hum at his touch, head rolling back under his gentle coaxing.

Not a beat passed before his mouth found yours, eager and impatient. You didn’t hesitate to kiss him back, easily finding the smooth slope of his naked waist and tugging him closer. He moaned somewhere low in his throat, tongue slipping out to trace the seam of your lip. You allowed as much, indulging the hungry press of his mouth, the careful nips of his teeth — until he tried to lay you down.

Your palms met the swells of his chest, and he pulled away, breathless and confused. “What is it?” He asked hoarsely, licking over his swollen lips. You’d be lying straight through your teeth if you said he didn’t look irresistible in that moment, wet hair hanging messily over his brows, dark, hooded eyes, all haze and lust as they stared down at you heatedly, full cheeks blushing a feverish shade of red. But you had plans for tonight, plans you didn’t intend to discard for the sake of sexual pleasure.

“I’m not fucking you.”

He gasped, disbelief coloring his features. “What? Why not?”

“Because,” you grinned, settling your hands on his hips, “I’m going to give you a massage.”

“A massa— ah!” his words cut off abruptly with a high pitched yelp as you suddenly spun him around, all but throwing him down onto the petal covered mattress. He could only stare at you in shock as you crawled over his nearly naked body, mouth curved into a playful smile.

“A massage.” You confirmed, sounding rather proud. But, he still looked less than amused, so you elaborated. “You’ve been working so hard these past few weeks, and I know you’ve been stressed and your body is exhausted. A massage will help release some of that tension.”

“You know what else releases tension?” He asked, sinking his teeth into his lower lip. You cocked a brow, feeling the light press of his fingertips as they feathered over your thighs, taking an obvious path upwards. Desire and mischief swirled in his eyes, voice low and thick as the words dripped slowly from his dangerous tongue, “Hot… passionate… s—”

You snatched his hands from your skin before they could reach their destination, pinning them to the mattress on either side of his head. “Shut up and roll over.”

He huffed, pouting up at you scornfully but obeyed nonetheless, rolling onto his stomach. “Do you even know how to give a massage?” He snipped as you settled yourself on the back of his towel clad thighs.

“I’ve done my research.” You offered lightly, sparing a moment to admire the lithe, sinewy build of his shoulders and back before you moved, reaching for the tall bottle you’d situated on the nightstand earlier. He followed your movements from the corner of his eye, curiosity breaking through the petulant facade.

“Don’t you think you’re being a bit cruel?”

“Perhaps,” you teased, pouring the translucent golden liquid into your palm, “but you’ll enjoy this, I promise. Just… relax.”

A defeated sigh escaped his chest, his body deflating beneath you. “Fine. But, this better feel better than sex or I swear to god I will—” he jolted with a soft gasp as you suddenly pressed the heels of your oil lathered palms into the area just between his shoulder blades and pushed outwards, “sue.”

You smirked smugly to yourself at the breathlessness with which he completed his sentence, obviously not having expected the pressure to feel that amazing.

“Good?” You asked, voice tinged with arrogance.

“Uh-huh,” he admitted immediately, moaning throatily as you rolled your thumbs deeply against the base of his neck, “oh fuck that feels so good.”

You chuckled, skillfully working your fingers across the planes of his broad shoulders. He melted deeper into the mattress with every knot you deftly unwound, soft, relieved moans breaking from his open mouth. The smooth, lavender scented oil glistened captivatingly on his sun-kissed skin, the delicate aroma gently permeating through your bedroom. It was a lovely, soothing smell, subtle and unimposing. You spread it diligently across the smooth expanse of his upper back, before gradually beginning to work your way downwards.

His sounds of bliss lowered in pitch the lower your hands reached, dipping into silky tenor groans when your hands reached the delicate dip of his waist. But, as you moved to massage the area just above his hips, he suddenly jolted, spine arching, a strained curse rushing from between clenched teeth.

You couldn’t help the concern that sparked to life in your chest at his response. “Does it hurt?” You asked, easing up on the pressure but not removing your touch completely. Sucking his lips into his mouth, he nodded with a soft, hesitant hum, glancing back at you from over his shoulder. “What happened?”

He made a strange noise in the back of his throat. “I just… twisted it weirdly during practice, I guess.” He offered weakly, shivering as you poured a small puddle of oil in the small of his back.

“Did you take a break?”

His silence was all the answer you needed.

“Baek,” your tone turned scolding as you gently worked your fingers into the tight dip of his waist, “just because you can fight through the pain doesn’t mean that you should. You’re not doing your body any favors by pushing it this hard.”

“I know but I—“ he sighed heavily, pressing his face into the sheets, “I just… don’t want to disappoint anybody.”

Oh, your poor, sweet Baekhyun. Always trying to please everyone else even when it ends up hurting him.

Pausing in your movements, you leaned forwards, bracing your hands on his shoulders so that you could speak in his ear. “Nobody is disappointed in you, Baek. You work so hard everyday to be the best you can be, and it shows. Everyone knows that you put your everything into what you do. And everyone’s proud of you,” you pressed your lips against the curve of his throat, slowly working your way up to the curve of his jaw, “I’m proud of you.”

He glanced back at you through his eyelashes. “Really?”

The question is so soft, so uncertain, and you feel your heart clench painfully in your chest at the thought that this man truly doesn’t understand just how many people adore him for just being… him. “Of course.”

You didn’t miss the rising of his cheeks, though he tried to hide himself beneath his arm, suddenly shy. You bit back a grin of your own, pressing one final kiss to the shell of his ear before returning to your earlier position and resuming the massage. He felt a dozen times more relaxed beneath you, the previous tension occupying his muscles having magically dissipated.

Sometimes, all he really needed was a little reassurance.

The smile that settled across your lips was unwavering as you took to kneading at the supple flesh of his hips, just above the top of his towel. Somewhere in the back of your mind, there was a flicker of a thought. A mischievous, dangerous thought. A thought that had your attention lingering on where the towel was tucked and secured on his right hip. Glancing up at the back of his head, you allowed your fingers to trail discretely towards the damp, white fabric, toying with it lightly so that he wouldn’t notice — not even as it came undone.

It was only as you peeled it swiftly away from his body and Baekhyun felt the rush of cool air across his backside that he realized what had just occurred.

“H– Hey!” He yelped, swinging his head around fast enough to give himself whiplash, eyes wide with disbelief.

“This is a full body massage, Baek. It’s not a full body massage unless it’s full body.”

“My butt does not need massaging.”

You grinned, sinking your teeth into your lower lip as you cocked a challenging brow. “I beg to differ.”

“Pervert.” He hissed.

You gasped, splaying a hand across your chest. “Who told you?”

He scoffed, rolling his eyes at your antics, but put up little resistance as you nudged his hands away from his butt. The tips of his ears and the back of his neck turned a dark, lovely shade of pink, and he quickly buried his face in his arms. Taking that as his nonverbal cue to continue, you poured yourself some more of the lavender scented oil, overturning your palm to let it drizzle onto his cheeks. He flinched slightly, the sensation catching him off guard.

So cute. You bit into the inside of your cheek to keep from cooing at him, opting to set your hands upon the gentle curve of his ass and knead your fingers into the soft, toned flesh. Baekhyun stifled a moan in the crook of his elbow, eyes fluttering as his body responded to the soothing touch.

“It feels good, doesn’t it?” You asked, tone teasing.

“Shut up.”

You snickered, massaging deep circles into the muscles of his upper thigh. He groaned deeply, fingers curling into the sheets. “Right there, right there— fuck, right there. It’s so sore.”

Heat flickered faintly in the pit of your stomach at the low rasping of his voice, grunted roughly through clenched teeth. Geez, why’d he have to sound so damn sexy…

Brushing off the thought as best you could, you forced yourself to focus on massaging the tension from his hamstrings. But each brush of your fingers over the insides of his thighs, intentional or otherwise, coaxed a round of violent shivers and breathless moans from your very much nude and very much oil covered boyfriend. You swallowed a mouthful of saliva, jaw clenching as you squeezed your hands around the backs of his lower thighs.

The sounds he was making weren’t helping your… situation in the least.

“How are you so good at this?” He asked, somewhat airily as your hands glided upwards, to just below the curve of his ass before returning to the crook of his knee. The question snapped you out of whatever trance you’d put yourself in watching the way his slick, honeyed skin dipped and curved deliciously beneath the pressure of your touch.

“Re- research. Lots of research.” You cleared your throat, shifting downwards on the mattress to set to work on his calves.

“You’re hands are fucking magic.”

Warmth slipped into your cheeks at the praise, your heart picking up speed within your chest. He was making it difficult for you to focus.

“I told you you’d like it.” You hummed playfully, beginning the slow ascent back up the length of his naked body.

“You were right,” he conceded easily, sighing in bliss as your hands slid over the small of his back, “I love it. Feels so fucking good, you have no idea.”

A content (and perhaps a bit smug) smile settled across your face. You couldn’t have asked for anything more. All you wanted was to make Baekhyun feel even just a little bit better after what you knew had to be a long, hard day— and you goddamn succeeded.

“Baek,” you murmured, and he gasped softly, not expecting your lips to be right next to his ear. He let out an unsteady hum, blinking hard twice when he felt your lace covered chest press against his back, “roll over for me?”

Swallowing thickly, he nodded. You lifted yourself off of him to give him just enough room to turn onto his back beneath you. All at once you were nose to nose, soft puffs of breath caressing your mouth. He was looking up at you with those eyes again, those hooded, wanting eyes, his hands clenching at the sheets somewhere down by his sides. You could see the dark flush on his cheeks, the desperation slowly seeping into his expression.

“Are you going to fuck me now?” The question was quiet, barely a whisper on his delicate pink lips. But the fire it ignited inside of you was anything but— loud, violent, and devastating, ripping your so well kept self control to shreds in a matter of moments.

“Yeah,” you whispered, sliding a slick hand down his toned stomach, “but I’m going to touch it first.”

He barely had time to react before your hand was around his cock. He gasped, back arching, forcing his chest flush against yours. Surprise flickered across your face upon feeling him already fully hard and throbbing against your palm. “Oh?”

“What?” He huffed out breathlessly, swinging the tip of his tongue over his lower lip, “did you expect me not to get hard while my sexy girlfriend wearing sexy lingerie rubs every inch of my body with oil?”

Pausing, you squinted down at him. “It was the butt massage, wasn’t it?”

He glared, and you grinned.

But any annoyance was wiped clean off his face as you squeezed your fingers around him, stroking his dick at a slow, borderline torturous pace. The remaining oil on your hand combined with his precum provided the perfect lubrication, the slide smooth and wet, the lewd sound of it making you clench around nothing. Baekhyun’s head rolled back, mouth falling open in a silent moan. But, not for a moment did his gaze break from yours. You bit your lip harshly, a violent heat licking at your veins, the sheer intensity of his dark stare making your head feel dizzy.

“You look… so hot right now.” You hadn’t intended to say the words out loud, but you also couldn’t find it in yourself to feel even the least bit ashamed.

The corner of his mouth curled into a sultry smirk, an airy chuckle rumbling somewhere low in his chest.

“Yeah?” You nodded. “Then kiss me.”

You did so without hesitation.

Baekhyun let out a heady groan, hands surging up from between your bodies to cradle your jaw as your lips worked against his with a hunger you hadn’t realized you possessed. It was uncoordinated and messy, all lashing tongue and vicious teeth, biting and sucking and licking until you were certain your that lips were raw. You were dizzy and intoxicated by the taste of him, and he wasn’t in much of a better state. With his cock in your hand and your tongue in his mouth, it didn’t seem like he’d last much longer.

Beneath you, Baekhyun’s hips bucked and rolled, frenzied and desperate. Your hand stilled around him, allowing him the luxury of control as he fucked himself violently into your closed fist. Each moan that tumbled from his mouth into yours was louder than the last, and you relished in the unabashed displays of pleasure, taking an immense amount of pride in knowing that you were the cause of it.

“I’m gonna come,” he gasped the warning, his nails biting harshly into your shoulder, “fuck— fuck, wait— I’m g-gonna come.”

“Baek,” you panted, still trying to catch your breath from the kiss, “come for me. Please.”

His back arched, the furnace of his body overwhelmed but still trying feebly to fight back his oncoming high. Baekhyun didn’t like coming first. He’d always had the tendency of putting your pleasure above his own, making sure you came at least once (if not multiple times) before him. But tonight wasn’t about you. Tonight was about him. And you were going to make sure he knew it.

You buried your face in the crook of his neck, sucking a dark bruise into his skin while simultaneously rolling your thumb over his sensitive tip in a way that had him trembling pathetically beneath you.

“Oh god— oh fuck— y/n—!” He came with a hoarse cry of your name, hips bucking, muscles tensing, skin shivering. You felt his hot release spilling over your knuckles, slipping between your fingers. He whimpered and squirmed as the overstimulation kicked in, but you didn’t stop stroking him until he started begging. “I can’t, I can’t— baby, please—” his chest heaved and his eyes went glassy, the dangerous cocktail of pleasure and pain making his head feel dizzy.

Looking down at him, so wrecked and fucked out, with those flushed cheeks and heavy eyes, you felt your heart flutter at the same time arousal coiled in your gut. He was just too damn pretty for his own good.

You relented, gently releasing his spent dick from your hold. He let out a shaky breath before tugging you into another mind numbing kiss. You moaned softly against his lips, feeling one of his hands coil around the back of your neck while the other explored the expanse of your back. It didn’t take long before they discovered the clasp of your bra, deftly unclasping it. Distracted by the skillful flicks of his tongue, you didn’t realize what he’d done until you felt the lacy fabric slip down your arms.

A giggle bubbled in your throat, and you whispered against his mouth, “naughty boy.”

His lips curled, and then all at once you found yourself sprawled on your back. “Naughty girl,” Baekhyun retaliated in a low, playful growl, pinning your hands to the mattress on either side of your head, “making me cum even after I told you to wait...”

His head dipped and you gasped softly as he nipped at the sensitive part of your throat, one hand sliding down to grip at your naked breast. You bit your lip to suppress a whimper as he circled your nipple with a rough thumb.

“Guess I’ll just have to pay you back for it…”

You weren’t about to object to that.