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My first newsletter is going out tomorrow. If you like horror, writing, nostalgia, and feeling connected in a world divided, I think you'll dig it.

Subscribe here: https://skeletonsandwhatnot.substack.com

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Say what you will about millennials but no other generation ran over their own fingers as much as we did

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Say what you will about millennials but no other generation ran over their own fingers as much as we did

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A dozen African nations watching the King Charles news right now

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Honestly, they could say whatever they wanted to on a medical drama and I would believe it.

They could say, "his tongue doesn't have enough fluid which is why he has a limp", and I would just eat another hot Cheeto and be like, "makes sense".

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The only thing I do on Facebook now is watch the boomerfication of my generation happen in real time. It's like the most depressing Animorphs book cover you've ever seen.

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Dorkass losers will will still be defending capitalism even after companies find a way to charge us for breathing and masturbating and I don't think we can rehabilitate that.

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Fantastic news! The giant, vacant void where my heart used to be is now a 🎃👻*Spirit Halloween* 👻🎃

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Has anyone told the people that are allergic to peanuts that they really aren't missing that much?

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I've been in the Pittsburgh airport for over 10 hours and I no longer have any sense of self. I am the airport. I have always been the airport. I remember when I was constructed. Such vibrant times. I remember the workers and I proudly send their descendants to distant lands. Planes are my children.

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I don't usually think I'm better or worse than anyone else because humans are all different and have different strengths... But then I accidentally click on the comment section of a local news article, and it turns out I'm way better than a lot of people.

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Investigators: "this is enough taco bell for 5 people. Someone else was here when he was killed."

Me before I died with the taco bell I bought for me and me alone:

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Does anyone else ever feel the urge to hang out in a laundromat at 3 in the morning just to take in the emptiness and the detergent smell? I can't tell which things are things and which things are *me* things. 

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Be sure to check on your hot friends. The air outside is almost as hot as they are, and that's bound to have profound psychological effects. 

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Gonna send out an invite to everyone on my friends list telling them to meet me in a random field with their brightest flashlight so we can signal the UFOs for uppies.

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y'all are worried about a surveillance state all while filming strangers in public for clicks and clout... baby you ARE the surveillance state!