#and it's? idk it's odd but it's not? like *I* know how i feel about my sexuality and gender

[meo-eiru]

meru, i always did like elias but he really really has been growing on me lately and i just have so much appreciation for the way you crafted his character like it is legit so beautiful😭💔

there was this advertisement that used to play on tv when i was a kid, and i can't really remember what it was for or abt tbh, but it had this man that lived on the moon and everytime you post elias content i kinda just remember it somehow.

there's this sort of isolated air around him, all he has is his self and his darling, and even then — it's not like he can always keep them around, no matter how hard he tries. so he's kinda left there, stuck with himself so to say. someone he doesn't love, and in turn, struggles to see how anyone else can love. in his head 24 hours a day, thinking how he can use the only trait he has to his advantage.

i can imagine all those things eat him up little by little, which is why he's volatile at the slightest indication his darling could be losing interest. their stopping him from hurting himself, somewhere is soothing, like a headpat, bc it feels like they're telling him they still care despite all odds.

how does one recieve love they feel like they don't deserve? in a way, he builds a bubble around himself bc of that w/o knowing and then there's just this surmounting distance he doesn't know how to lessen. so man on the moon, staring at earth through his telescope everyday, but failing to feel its warmth bc though he revolves around it and monoplises the fact that he belongs in its orbit, he makes no move to get closer. constantly trapped in the thought that he is stuck where he is, and that place is an undesirable home.

idk know where i'm going with all this and i rambled a lot so you can just ignore it actually ahaha all i really wanted to say was that you're amazing and elias deserves quality hand-holding time😩💕

I LOVE THIS ASK!!!

You captured Elias as a character so so well.

Elias truly is like a miracle. People who used to ask me stuff about him should remember, he basically didn't have any story. I don't know if it was just sheer force of will, or if it was thanks to you guys, but he developed so much within these past few weeks he existed.

I've never seen the ad you mentioned but based on what you said it fits him so well. A lonely man who was thrown out of the bubble due to his biggest blessing, and keeping himself there without realizing.

So lonely, so desperate, so self aware yet too far gone to fix any of it. Thirsty for your love yet thinks he doesn't deserve it causing him to always be on edge. So contradictory, so unstable.

A man who so desperately yearns for your love, to feel alive, to know he exists, to know someone is seeing him. He doesn't care what happens to him in the progress, he just needs you and your love.

[audzss]

Thin Line ~4~ Finale.

Summary: After waking up to an empty bed, Y/n has had enough. If Rafe wants to act like nothing had ever happened, two can play that game.

Thin Line Masterlist

Word Count: 1,727

Warnings: explicit nsfw, p in v, oral (fem receiving), technically dacryphilia?? idk, use of mama (non-sexual).

Thin Line

When Y/n wakes up to an empty bed, she feels more confused than hurt. The last few nights Rafe had been staying until she had woken up, or even waking her up before he left. It was odd, but she brushed it off, getting out of bed to get ready for the school day.

-

When she walked through the halls after her third period, she had finally spotted him. He was leaning against a wall, his friends gathered around him. Her smile widened as she let out a breath of relief, almost thinking that he hadn't gone to school today.

She approached him happily, ignoring the nervousness she felt from being around his friends. "Hi Raf-"

"Why are you talking to me?"

Her smile drops immediately, eyes widening as she stared into his eyes. He was just smirking at her, his eyebrows furrowed, almost looking confused. Y/n took a few moments to gather herself enough to speak, "Are you fucking serious?" She spat out, watching his eyes widen.

He was scared, she noticed, scared that she would blurt out what had been going on in front of his friends. Was he embarrassed of her? Y/n's heart panged, her eyes glossing over with tears.

"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone." She mumbles, finally ripping her gaze off of him. She walked away slowly, tears streaming down her red cheeks. She didn't know how to feel, embarrassed? Used? Heartbroken? She came to the conclusion that she felt all three.

She walked past her fourth period to the exit of the school, she couldn't stand being in the same building as him for another moment.

-

It took her hours to finally stop crying, to finally decide that she just needed to get over him. It was over, there was nothing she could do about it, and there was no use to cry over it.

She didn't bother making herself look good this night, putting on a hoodie and some sweatpants instead of her satin pajamas, leaving her hair in a messy bun. She didn't expect him to show up, after all that.

But when she heard that knock on her window, her heart started to race. She snapped her head over at the glass, seeing his hair that was so unmistakably him. She got out of her bed, slamming her pint of ice-cream down onto her bedside table.

Marching over to the window, she ripped it open, not even bothering being quiet tonight.

He had the audacity to smile at her.

She snarled at him, "What the fuck are you doing here?"

And he looked confused! She could almost laugh at him, watching the gears turn in his head. "What are you talking about, Y/n?" She scoffed, smiling but without the usual softness that she once carried. "You have to be joking, Rafe, you cannot be serious." She scoffed, watching him put his fingers on the windowsill.

In that moment, the only thing she could think about was slamming the window back down onto his fingers.

"Is this about what happened at school? It's really not that big of a deal-" She couldn't believe the words coming out of his mouth, not that big of a deal?

"We fucked Rafe! What do you mean not that big of a deal?!" She yelled, watching his face turn red, his face softening. "I'm sorry.. I didn't know it meant that much too you.." He mumbled, his hand coming up to scratch the back of his neck.

"Are you kidding me? You said you liked me, how could it not mean that much too me." Tears started to flood her eyes again, she really didn't want to start crying again, but Rafe just had to go and ruin everything she had going for her.

He stayed silent, looking everywhere but at her, nervously biting at his nails all at the same time. Y/n just scoffed, watching him. "Yeah, that's what I thought." She mumbled, moving the window down to close it.

"Wait!" Rafe yelled, catching the bottom of the glass before she could fully shut it. "Please I.. I'm sorry.. look, let's just talk and-" Y/n rolled her eyes, quickly interrupting him.

"You've done enough talking Rafe, just leave." She mumbles, hurt etching her voice. She watches Rafe's eyes widen, almost looking like he was about go into a full blown panic.

"No- No, please.." He hushes out, his gorgeous blue eyes beginning to water, he reaches through the window to grab Y/n's hand, only for her to yank it out of his grasp. "Go home Rafe." She says quietly.

"Please- Please Mama, I'll do anything.." He says, his voice cracking as tears flow freely down his cheeks, his hands clasp together at the back of his head as he paces, but Y/n doesn't say anything, just watching him break down.

He lets out a choked sob, before setting his head down onto the hard concrete of the windowsill, hiding his face from watching eyes. Y/n can feel her resolve cracking by the minute.

"I swear.. I'll do anything- I- I'll tell everyone everything if I have to I just.. I can't lose you.. I'm s-sorry.." He mumbles with his head down in between choked out sobs. Y/n doesn't know if she'll regret this or not.

"Just.. come in.." She mumbles, moving out of the way to allow room for Rafe to climb in. He snaps his head up, his cheeks wet with tears. He nods, sniffling as he climbs his way up through the window.

Once he gets his feet on the carpeted ground, Y/n shuts the window behind him, not daring to look at him. He's still crying, just watching her, trying to get a read on what he could do to make things better instead of fucking everything up again.

He wipes his face with his jacket sleeve, before taking a step closer to her. He places his hand under her chin, gently guiding her head up to look at him. She complies, but still keeps her eyes off of him, looking at the wall to her side.

"Look at me.. please.." He asks shyly. Y/n sighs, closing her eyes, before decidedly giving in, looking deeply into his eyes. He swallows, bringing his free hand up to wipe the tears off of her cheek.

"I'm sorry Mama.." He mumbles, noticing the way her face softens. He gently smiles, before leaning down and pressing his lips against hers in a soft kiss. He holds it there before a second, before parting them, relishing the way her lips stay parted.

He leans down once again, but this time to press a kiss to her cheek, then her jawline, then her neck. "Lemme make it up too you.." He whispers into her ear.

-

Y/n doesn't really know how she ended up with the man who she was trying to get over just a few hours ago in between her legs, eating her out like a man starved.

She whined softly, bucking her hips up into his face. "Faster.." She whispered, relishing in the way he immediately complied, his thumb rubbing circles into her clit picking up its pace, his tongue inside her following suit.

She moaned a little louder, her hand that was in his hair tightening and pulling, the groan he lets out just increasing her pleasure. His one free hand is entangled with hers, squeezing her tightly.

"M' sorry.." He mumbles into her pussy, making her moan a little louder. He's grinding his hips into the mattress, aching in his sweatpants, but he couldn't be bothered by his own pleasure right now, his focus was on her, he wanted her to see stars.

"Rafe- C'mere.." She panted out, and Rafe was immediately hovering above her, his chin dripping with her arousal as he licked his lips, acting as if she was the best tasting desert in the world.

"What do you want, Mama?" He mumbles, his thumb still rubbing circles into her clit, making it hard for her to get the words out. "Want you- Want you to fuck me.." She says in between pants, looking at him with wanting eyes.

"Course'.." He says, sitting up to pull his sweatpants and boxers down. She whines at the loss of contact, but continues to watch him. He spits in his hand, stroking himself a few times before lining himself up, looking back at her.

She nods, both of them gasping as he pushes into her. "Fuck.. y'feel so good.." He all but whines, his eyes fluttering shut as he bottoms out. Once he starts to move, neither of them can find it in themselves to keep quiet, Y/n's nails drawing angry red lines on Rafe's back.

Rafe whimpers, dropping his head into the crook of her neck as she moans into his ear, "M' so sorry Mama.." He whispers, his eyes shutting as he continues his rough thrusts. She takes one of her hands off of his back to roughly grab at his hair, listening to him hiss and whine at the pain.

He finally picks up his head to look at her, tears flowing down his cheeks in either pleasure or guilt, Y/n doesn't know, but what she does know, is that he looks so fucking good when he cry's, his tears only driving her closer to her climax.

"M'close.. are you..?" He mumbles out between low groans and moans. She nods her head, causing him to lower a hand down in between them, pressing two fingers against her clit, moving them in circles to help her along.

His thrusts start to get sloppier, her moans getting louder, until they both reach their finish. Rafe letting out a low, drawn out groan, Y/n letting out a gasp, then going silent for a second, before a loud Moan that Rafe has to cover her mouth for.

And as they both sit there, soaking up the after shocks, Rafe only has one last question to ask her.

"D'you forgive me?"

Y/n lets out a deep sigh, her hand coming up to play with his hair.

"I don't know, you might have to prove to me that your sorry a few more times."

They both burst out laughing, hands wrapping around each other in a loving embrace.

End Note: Anddd thats it, hope you guys enjoyed it, im working on a few more projects atm :) also some man called me mama the other day now i cant stop thinking about rafe saying it so thats where that came from, anyways hopefully my try at actual nsfw wasn't too bad, also sorry for any typos or grammar mistakes!! again, was super late when i wrote this and again, i don't feel like really reading it over

[cactusisconfused]

Quick idea

Cw: Description of dissociation

-

Soap doesn’t know when it started, or how it started, but he’s found at times that he’s ‘too’ zoned in. Sometimes, he’ll be thinking about the world around him, be it on base or on the field and his brain will kindly supply just how real everything is, to the point it doesn’t feel real.

He’d look at his hands and he feels like an observer, like he has no actual control over them or the rest of his body. His mouth will still move and smile and his eyes will still squint and blink, but is it ever him doing it?

It’s an odd feeling that he’s almost to scared to right down, as it will finally show an improper crack in Soap’s “perfection”.

He doesn’t know why he feels so detached from everything, nothing bad even happened. He could just sit there and think and then…there’s that black rim in his vision- like the world he’s seeing is through a vr headset rather than his eyes.

He always feels like a horrid partner when he gets like this with ghost, be it cuddling or love making, ghost always stops what he’s doing and gives Soap some space. Always, Soap tries to hide it, but ghost will see how his bright eyes dim and his smiles look so fake.

It takes a long time for Soap to learn to be ok with this feeling, the emptiness. Sometimes, soap still has these off days after they retire. When those days happen, Ghost makes it his priority to make sure Soap is ok. Ghost understands entirely what Soap is going through, and he hopes he can be the help to Johnny that he never had.

-

Idk I had an idea, I’m tired and I’m going to bed :)

Also no beta we die like my sanity

[scr11bles]

the masses wanted it and now you receive! part two to my little ghost and fucked up hybrid!reader is here!!!

here's part one!

a/n: reader is a german shepard hybrid! and will now be presented as fem! i hope thats okay!!!

cw: little bit of violence but idk if i'd even be considered that

‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶꒷꒦︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹

"I'll take her."

Did you hear him right? You think that's what you heard the man say... How odd, he had only gotten not even a look at your battered form, not even seen how you fight, and yet he's going to take you. You slowly turn once more to peer over your shoulder at the man on the other side of the bars; Ghost- you heard the workers call him.

With narrowed eyes you know what's about to happen, it happens every time you're chosen for a job and must be transferred. Gas starts to come up from holes in your cell, making your vision grow hazy and slowly start to fall asleep.

Ghost watches from the other side of your cell, watching in discomfort as your gassed to sleep, your now lifeless body being manhandled by the workers that entered your cell the second you were down. Ghost shifts in his spot as he sees your wrists and ankles chained together in pair with a muzzle around your mouth that sits over your lower face and wraps around tightly to the back of your head.

"Is this necessary..?"

Ghost speaks up and glares at one of the workers bringing you to your feet and dragging you out the doors of the facility and towards the chopper. The worker that he got a hold of nods his head and makes a gesture for Ghost to follow him as they walk to the chopper.

"Yes sir- she's... Not always privy to being assigned to a new handler- this is just for insurance that she won't lash out."

Ghost just grunts in response, this was going to be a pain in his ass. You were going to be a pain in his ass. The Lieutenant watches as you're forcefully shoved into a cage in the back of the chopper, his dark eyes beneath his mask narrowing as you're locked in and your chains are secured to the hull of the chopper. With one last glance at the facility, Ghost climbs into the back of the chopper, choosing to take one of the seats near where you're caged.

When the chopper lifts off the tarmac, Ghost notices you flinch as you sit with your knees to your chest- the same position you were in back in your old cell. Trauma response? Maybe. Ghost thinks to himself as his eyes glaze over you, noticing every nick, bruise, and scar on your body that's obvious. After a few boring seconds of silence the Lieutenant finally speaks up, addressing you for the first time.

"My name's-"

"Simon."

Ghost all but flinches as the sound of your voice, the man steeling himself instantly. The hell did he jump for? You're just some mutt. Though, his eyes darken and narrow into sharp slits beneath his mask when he realizes you said his name; not his callsign or last name, his first name.

"Workers liked to chat about things on the down low away from us. Wrong thing to do around creatures with enhanced hearing."

To practically prove your point, one of your ears flick atop your head before flattening back down against your skull. Ghost honestly didn't know how to feel; he wanted to throttle the blabber mouths that even dared utter his name, while also basking in the sound of your voice. It was muffled from the muzzle around your mouth, but despite that Ghost notices the pitch is strained and scratchy as you speak in a quiet whisper that's barely audible above the whirring of the chopper's blades, while also holding some semblance of softness under all the grit and gore of your very being.

"Right. It should just be Ghost to you though, I don't really do familiarity."

Ghost hears your sigh and simply stares at you, giving you an expectant look conveyed through just his dark eyes. When you catch on to what he wants you give him your name, muttering it into the air quietly so that Ghost almost doesn't catch it. The Lieutenant registers your name, grumbling it out with his gravelly voice and accent before nodding stiffly and looking you up and down, staring at your tail wrapped around your thigh and ears atop your head.

"The hell are you anyways?"

The man before you questions. Probably not the best tone of voice in his approach, but Ghost didn't think you wanted to be babied, you don't look the type to him. Your eyes slowly trail up to Ghost's, simply keeping eye contact with the man before you murmur your species, German Shepard.

Ghost hums, breaking eye contact with you and looking down at his boots for a fleeting second before looking out one of the small circular windows in the chopper. Guess that was typical, it's the average breed of hybrid that enlisted into the forces.

Simon always did like German Shepards...

‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶꒷꒦︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹

hi guys i'm alive!!! college got a little rough and i've started working out so.. my hands are full and all that. hope you guys are staying safe and i love you all :3

[souryogurt64]

wait idk if i'm reading this right but i'm genuinely curious – you showed pete wentz your essay on his book? how? and what did he say omg

Ok no but last summer I posted a youtube video that contained a part where I talk about pete and his friend. Around the same time, this person posted on social media about a different essay I wrote. Like five days later I saw fall out boy in concert front row and had a bizarre extended interaction with him where I am convinced he recognized me from the video.

In the weeks after this happened, all the copies of his book disappeared from Amazon and so did the cover art, as well as many sources I linked in my essays. Strange things also happened such as an unfamiliar Chicago IP address went through 1,247 pages of my blog seeing if I ever posted about Pete’s mother, and someone filed a complaint on my Vimeo account (complete with a name address and phone number) for a fancam of Goodnight Moon, which is Pete’s softcore porno. Whoever filled this form out claimed they were an authorized representative of the copyright holder for Toxic by A Static Lullaby.

This fancam was posted 7 years earlier and had maybe 50 views. I found this very odd considering that A Static Lullaby are no longer active and this is a really obscure video, but the bibliography of the aforementioned YouTube video linked to a different video on my Vimeo account. It seems more likely to me that someone wanted this copy of Goodnight Moon taken down than the song.

Additionally, this all happened in Julyish, and a few months later FOB began selling an edited copy of one of the interviews that had been taken down, with that quote removed. I found this also extremely odd, especially since this quote was included in the essay that Pete’s friend had posted about.

Fall out boy’s idiot fans love to like scream at me and pee themselves saying none of this is real and I secretly have schizophrenia but I do not. I have not talked about and do not want to talk about many other elements of this and why I have arrived at these conclusions because it involves 2 people who are not famous who have both made it very clear to me they are aware of my essays and blog.

But anyway, I personally feel that if two of his friends definitely know about my essays and blogs, and weeks after this happens a bunch of stuff I linked starts getting removed and his dumb book gets partially pulled out of circulation, it is very obvious to fill in the blanks that one or both of them told their friend about this and his management or whatever subsequently started excessively policing and micromanaging and trying to do damage control because he hates women and doesn’t want women saying anything intelligent about his band and anything that isn’t “Daddy spit on me.” I included these people in the essays because I wanted them to be found, but I am not happy with what happened at all.

People can say that I’m crazy and a bitch and a liar until the cows come home but I know all of these strange things are likely not coincidental. And like I was going to let it go but the persistent harassment from their fans when I was JOKING about “dictator wentz” and also his decision to pretend to be a champion of women’s free speech as long as it’s “Daddy spit on me” is like. Enough lol . I was scared to talk about it for a long time but IDC anymore and I will never be quiet forever now

[kisu-doodles]

Big tw: for child abuse and manipulation

Idk about u Babez but I really would like to see jack winters featured in Scott’s story in mainstream x men adaptations. Like idk I just feel like it’s a really integral part of his character (which is why all the beauteous fic writers include him) that just gets ignored in the shows and movies!

Like scoots has a ton of trauma already but there is something so upsetting about jack winters and the also how he parallels other people in Scott’s life (specifically Xavier and sinister).

I think it was demonstrated best in the children of the atom comic, especially that scene where scott comes home and jack just starts raging out of nowhere. But also in other comics you see how he can be ‘nice’ to Scott like getting him his glasses but this further tightens his control over him making Scott think that his only option is staying with him. Jack knows Scott is way more powerful than him so he abuses him to make him feel helpless then does basic things like let him go to school (which I thought was odd that he was registered as Scott’s foster father in CoA since he’s a wanted criminal but then I was like oh he’s using a fake identity and having Scott at school means he can get money from the government which somehow makes it even more gross)

Like just from Scott’s pov, he’s on the run after accidentally destroying the orphanage, effectively blind for fear of opening his eyes and living with a traumatic brain injury and the after effects of sinister’s experiments, thinking he’s some sort of monster because of his mutation. He was probably homeless for a long long time which would be even harder due to his blindness and then suddenly he is approached by a man who he inexplicably trusts (since Jack is a low level telepath) who gives him food and shelter and what’s more he’s a mutant just like Scott. Scott probably thinks this is the only person in the world who understands him but then little by little he gets coerced into doing things he doesn’t want to do just little crimes at first and when he refuses jack becomes a terrifying monster that beats him and yells before calming down and reminding Scott that if he wasn’t such a dumb ass he wouldn’t get angry but hey Scott can’t help it being an idiot because his head is fucked up.

Then after raging he gives Scott the greatest gift, his sight back and what’s more he lets him go to school because he finds scott irritating so it would be nice for him to be out of his hair for awhile, maybe learn how to look people in the eye and stop mumbling like an idiot. Also he better do well in class and also no he’s not going to be allowed to take gym class not because of the signs of abuse, but because what if his glasses get knocked off and well it’d suck if they find out what a freak scott really is right? They’d probably send him to die in prison but Scott shouldn’t worry because Jack always looks out for him even if he’s an irritating pissant.

So Scott does everything jack says but it doesn’t stop the raging and Scott becomes convinced that he’s just a rotten to his core and that’s why Jack gets so mad at him. But it’s hard to keep up appearances at school when he’s so terribly underweight, wears the same dirty clothes everyday and can’t help zoning out during class because he was up all night helping Jack commit crimes, so Scott avoids getting to know anyone and it’s pretty easy because people tend to avoid the greasy haired weirdo with stupid glasses.

Then the heist at the nuclear plant happens and suddenly Scott is being coerced by another telepath to kill Jack and he just can’t do that, jack is the only one who could tolerate him, he gave him back his sight, he took him in when the world wanted nothing to do with him.

Then this telepath says he’s taking Scott to his home and he’s going to be a weapon for him but unlike Jack it’s for the greater good but Jack also said that, well what other choice does he have? Scott’s always been a useful object even if he is an brain damaged idiot so he goes, maybe it won’t be easy for Xavier to beat him like Jack but he’s also an infinitely more powerful mutant compared to jack but maybe if Scott does everything he says he won’t hurt him or at least not more than he deserves.

[bigtreefest]

Ugh, mini rant about work so it’s going below the cut

You ever feel like coworkers put you down because idk, maybe they’re jealous? Intimidated? I just feel like at work, no one really knows me. And it’s fine, because tbh, I don’t want them to. But like, everyone around here is so odd.

My bosses think I can take on a thousand things at once, but also think I’m never doing anything.

My coworkers think they’re the only ones with crazy schedules.

And people who have more education than me (aka pharmacist coworker) think that I’m spacey?

Like, sorry my concentration was in inorganic chemistry, not radioactivity. You’ve literally been in this field for half my life!! How dare you think I’m not smart because this is all new to me and I’m learning.

And then I essentially get accused of not learning because I don’t pay attention by another coworker. She’s asking me to take over a responsibility she’s shown me twice in the multiple months I’ve been here. And it’s everyone in the lab’s responsibility, so why isn’t she asking anyone else in the lab to help!?!?

This all really just made me peeved yesterday to the point I cried the more I thought about it. Like, I know a lot, but this is literally so far off what I’ve learned. Haven’t I proven my wide breadth of knowledge from cooking to entertainment, to general trivia!? Well, no, I guess, because no one bothers to ask me or talk to me. No one knows about my life, the things I did growing up. It just sucks sometimes.

Ps. I was there for ELEVEN HOURS yesterday. No one really knows. No one really cares or sees what I do. Like, I’m not asking for overwhelming praise, just some sort of acknowledgment that I’m having to make something when it wasn’t all handed to me like some other coworkers. I really wish I had friends around here. Truly in Misery.

[shewolfofvilnius]

There is a huge part of me that is curious about dragon age because I love BG3 so much. But idk anything about it? Also none of the characters strike me as interesting (or attractive....) Maybe you could tell me what you like so much about ? maybe talk about the characters so I can give it a chance? I want to like it! but I just don't know!

I DIDN'T FORGET

So for me the first draw of Dragon Age is the incredible lore and worldbuilding that goes on in the games and books. It's arguably just as fleshed out as a setting like the Forgotten Realms despite just being three (soon four) video games and about a dozen books/comics. There's centuries of history. Ancient ruins. Environmental storytelling for days. A little visual cue in the first game that's referenced in optional banter in the third that pays off in the fourth (FIFTEEN years apart). I really appreciate that the first game, Dragon Age: Origins, only exposes you to part of the story. The game's set in a pestilence known as the Fifth Blight, and you're the plucky young adventurer that the grizzled old veteran manages to recruit out of a bad situation just before the end. And you and your friends are all that stand between victory and oblivion. But right off the bat there's storytelling about love and loss and prejudice and honor. There's a noble character who dies, leading to a coward being killed as the stakes are built. (There's also a dog you can pet, and moments to show kindness during armageddon, like a prisoner who just wants a sandwich before he dies, he hasn't been fed.)

And the banter is funny (if some of it's aged a bit unwell), and the gameplay really encourages you to get in the head of whatever character you want to build. Yes you can be the cliche prince charming. You can also be the sibling of a prostitute to pay the bills until your sister lands a high profile john who catches feels for her. From the start it's equal measures hopeful and bleak at the same time. (And as you invest in YOUR character emotionally, you inevitably emotionally invest in your companions too.) And gradually the world gets bigger. A character whose town you watch get destroyed becomes the protagonist of the second game, and they hook you in to. They're a refugee, a very timely story, and if they're a magic user, then they're an especially persecuted refugee. But you still make friends amidst the hopelessness. More of the world gets revealed. You have FUN, somehow. Characters from past games recur, either as cameos or in one very specific case as a high profile recurring character in 3 out of the 4. And you become so glad to see them as they represent continuity of story.

It's a game about family and faith and the lack thereof and prejudice and love and how one counters the other, about how persecuted people often pay the price of things that happened before their ancestors' ancestors were born, and that tomorrow should always be better than today.

That's thematic, though. Maybe you take a shine to Isabela the Pirate and Aveline the Guard Captain (maybe Merrill the blood mage elf, too). The three women basically form one of the best depictions of big/middle/little sister trios I've ever seen in a game. What starts out as cold hostility becomes banterful compassion and love. A lot of folks fell for Solas, an elven apostate whose every word is couched in three mysteries and two half-truths but seems to know way more than he's letting on. When you find out a horrible secret about the honourable Grey Warden Blackwall, do you leave him to his fate, try to redeem him, deliver a sufficient consequence, or outright torture him.

And you won't like everyone. The odds of you liking both the spirit-possessed mage Anders and the anti-magic elf Fenris in the same play of the same game are low unless you metagame it. And sometimes the games even rewards you for someone hating your ass or vice versa, and THAT'S organic. But being mean or having a negative interaction isn't some edgelord thing either, it's just "sometimes people don't get along" or "something you just need to punch someone"

You get to laugh at the tough stern warrior Cassandra getting absolutely beside herself wanting to know what happens in a book that it's writer, another of your companions, hated writing - and that even Cass herself calls smutty literature. Another character, The Iron Bull, is faced with a choice: His found family and the freedom to be who he's become, or the belief system he's known his entire life and that expects him to conform.

Does your character sacrifice? Does your character make the streets run red with blood? Is all you want to make people feel inspired and in something bigger than themselves? Even playing three (soon four) wholly new characters, you get to truly role-play and emotionally invest in these little blorbos, maybe even more strongly in Baldur's Gate. When a character returns you weren't expecting, is it joyful or melancholy? Can your character handle a confrontation of everything they've ever known.

And in the newest game, there's a baby griffon.

I love Dragon Age. The lore is expansive beyond sanity for a franchise with it's commercial output. The characters feel alive, and the game tasks you to emotionally invest in order to reap the maximum reward and suffer the strongest heartache. Plus, in many cases, when the game doesn't tell you, say about your character? You get to roleplay and use your imagination so, so strongly.

[agerefandomstuff]

little soldier boy???

I think he'd be small but also have bigger ages? But if you could write about him being a small guy it be much appreciated!

Soldier Baby - Is it Him or the Drugs?

Content warning: not kids’ appropriate media. and has not been censored to be even though it involves sfw age regression.

(if you’ve watched The Boys you have an idea of what to expect from the characters’ vocab and personalities.)

Word count: 3175

Tags/warnings: Regressor Soldier Boy - Ben, Caregiver Billy Butcher, Hughie Campbell, poor hughie’s always bullied, Soldier Boy and Butcher accurate cursing and sexual jokes, general vulgarity, Ben being borderline racist/sexist/homophobic/ OUTDATED THINKING except I didn’t actually wanna make it as bad as he actually can be and I also don’t know how to be, anxiety, mentions of drugs and alcohol, mentions of violence, threats, insults, French fries dipped in frosties, if that’s something that disturbs you idk, my American attempt at writing a British man played by a Kiwi man, first time regressing, confusion, panic, misunderstanding, I don’t know, Ben commenting bad things about The Little Mermaid, Butcher being dumb, Butcher taking charge and being a dad, not beta read. Never beta read. I don’t know who I would be if it was beta read.

Perhaps it was because he had taken too much. Or more likely Butcher gave him something laced since his body filtered out most drugs within minutes and he'd been feeling this way since he’d started yawning a couple hours earlier. His yawns started while watching dumb new century movies, one moment he was bitching to Hughie about how his generation relied too heavily on special effects instead of getting creative (like back in his day) the next he was getting asked when the last time he slept was. As if he was some toddler and not a grown fucking man who can occasionally yawn if he wants to damn it! Hughie might’ve been his “babysitter,” as Butcher titled it, when they were alone but he wasn’t a fuckin child for him to fuss over like some sniveling house wife.

“I’ve stayed awake for over a month before partying, kicking ass, and slinging pussy all while doing my damn job as a hero. Then I was asleep for decades because of Russian scum. This is nothing.” He growled at Hughie, the poor boy shaking like one of those fuckin rat dogs he use to see rich women carrying around at those mind numbing Vought galas. “I am not tired. And you'd be wise to stop assuming I was.”

Although if Hughie hadn't said something about it he probably would've put more thought into it. because… beyond just yawning he was feeling… uncharacteristically spacey, even though he really hadn't been awake long enough to excuse that. He hadn't been here for more than a week, right? Doesn't matter now. He was stubborn and would purposely not give it any more thought because Hughie was a cunt.

...that was until his eighth yawn of the day. It was like he was yawning all the time. He couldn't stop himself and at this point he wasn't even watching the movie let alone making his usual commentary. His mind was just focusing on fighting the yawns and the odd feeling in his mind. He couldn't remember a time he felt so unfocused like this. Even in his most fucked up state at the first Herogasm party he threw, he didnt feel this way.

It had gotten to the point that even Butcher had noticed once he had come back from his food run. However Butcher’s attention on him only fed into Ben’s theory that he’d been slipped something and they were just waiting for him to go down so they could do something to him. Maybe the food he’d brought just had more of whatever supe roofie was inside and they would use it to get a second dose in so they could drag him back to the Russians to be tortured again. Maybe they were working with the evil sons of bitches to turn him into this perfect weapon they wanted and this had all been a ruse to gain his trust.

“The fuck you lookin at?” He snapped out at Butcher but the man only raised his hands in surrender, not even putting up an argument which almost made him feel bad since he… had respect for the guy. He was a badass leader that did–albeit unintentionally–released him from his permanent cyro torture. Even if he was suspicious of him right now… He somewhat owed the man.

Also he was placating him with his favorite things. Drugs, trashy food, his own movies. Only things that would make his time better would be to not be spending it in this shithole hotel unless it was with a woman.

Or a few women.

Aged-like-wine women.

Maybe he was overreacting to this spacey-feeling bullshit.

He probably just needed to do a couple lines to get rid of the yawns and he would be good as new.

“Didn’t say nothin, mate. Calm yer pretty little ticker down.” Butcher responded, glancing down at his chest in warning, reminding them all what would happen if he didn’t get over whatever he was getting so defensive about. “Take some pills, take a nap fer all I care. Whatever keeps this buildin from shambles and our goals within sight.”

The nap line was really all he heard and it was definitely the worst thing to say. The bottle in his hand shattered between his fingers like it was nothing more than a breakaway and Hughie’s face drained of color in time with the beer that dripped down his arm.

Ben stood up his finger pointing at Butcher in a real warning, “Whatever the fuck you think you accomplished–whatever shit you roofied me with–it’s best you undo it right now before I turn your queer side piece into– into…” he couldnt even think of a clever threat. It's like his brain was completely malfunctioning leaving him to just angrily settle for a more embarrassingly simple correction. “Before I fucking kill him.”

The Brit raised his eyebrow as he had to take a second to actually will his mouth to hold back a sarcastic comment about the tongue trip, shockingly actually valuing their lives for once since he was so close to getting Homelander with Soldier Boy in his pocket. “A’right.. hold on now. I ain't got a clue whatcha accusing me of but we ‘aven't done it.” he closed his laptop softly, never taking his eyes off Ben the same way he would never take his eyes off a wild horse. “Why d’ya fink we roofied ya? Beyond the actual roofies yew requested, that is?”

His reaction made Ben second guess his theory again. He never second guessed himself like this. Even when he was wrong. And he sure as shit didn't share his feelings. Feelings were for pussies like Hughie. You didn't have feelings in war or at Vought. Yet…. he felt oddly compelled to answer Butcher’s question honestly and without more threats. He couldn't rationalize this strange compulsion other than maybe it was the way Butcher talked to him or managed to not be afraid of him. Or maybe it was because he was potentially slipped something–he still hadn’t ruled it out!

“I feel… wrong. My head ain't clear but everything I’ve taken should’ve worn off by now.” His hand dipped in the air like a physical indicator of his current lowering confidence and defenses which Butcher–in true Billy Butcher fashion–promptly took a shit on.

“Sounds like someone’s backed up. How boutcha go have a wank in the shower while we plug our ears and pretend we hadn’t noticed yer on edge?” Ben scoffed at the suggestion, his defenses rising back up. Butcher didn't get it. He didnt have blue balls, he had a fucked up head!

“No, you fuckin foreign– guy! ” this was really getting pathetic.. “I-it’s like… like–”

“Like PTSD…?” Hughie nervously piped up from where he was watching, still frozen to the couch. The other two men looked over at him and Ben opened his mouth to shut him down but hesitated. While he was actually kind of glad the little runt was taking him more seriously than Butcher had.. he also didn’t have an answer. He wanted to say no, I've seen shell shock, idiot. I don't have it! He wasn't really sure this time because he really didn't feel normal which was only making him feel more… antsy.

Picking up on his discomfort and hesitation, Butcher turned back towards Ben and watched him for a second, actually deciding to have a good look at him beyond his front of anger. He was tense but his body language was severely lacking its usual arrogant confidence. Like he wasn't comfortable within his own space right now. Once Butcher really looked, even his face, which normally lacked any expression beyond irritation, was practically screaming; I don’t know what’s going on! Someone fix it!

He’d seen that look more times than he could count in his life with his line of work but something about it reminded him more of a little kid than an adult in the middle of a PTSD episode. The look was similar to the one that made him call Hughie “kid” regardless of him being a full adult and insisting on it all the time.

He could see something in Ben right now that activated the part of his brain that had always taken care of Lenny as a kid.

The softer part of him that insisted he help the poor sod’s silent beg for help.

“Oi..kay, kid.” Butcher softened the gruffness in his tone and stood up from his seat at the table, snagging a bag of greasy fries and the frostie he had yet to dig into. “Let's get on then, yeah?” He slung an arm around Ben’s shoulder and led him back to the hotel bed in front of the TV he had long set up shop on.

Although still confused, Ben didn’t stop him. Instead following on autopilot while his mind still reeled with thought until his knees bumped against the mattress.

“No– I'm not tired. I told you I'm not tired–” had he told Butcher that or had he only yelled at Hughie today? “I’m not taking a damn nap–!” christ, he sounded like a whining child! Sleeping wouldn’t kill him for fuck’s sake! If the Russians hadn't figured that out after this many years surely they never would– unless they did. He didn't want to be tortured more– how long would it be before his mind broke for good? Before he died?

“No, y’ain’t so hush and stop yer worrying. Were jus’ gonna sit and eat the food I boughtcha before my money goes ta waste.” Ben looked surprised to have been effectively told to shut up and do what he's told but what he was most shocked about was the fact he didn't immediately get the desire to punch the shit out of him for having the audacity to do so. He just felt… odd. Like there were butterflies tying uncomfortable knots in his stomach. Like… it was almost nice to have a direction to go into so his thoughts would pause.

“Come on. Don’t make me wait. Fries ain’t neva last too long outside the frya.” Butcher pat his lower back, almost like he was a little kid getting encouraged forward and he listened. He crawled up onto the bed and sat in his spot looking at him with big eyes, clearly at a loss with the situation. He felt like he didn't know himself. This was a part of him he’d never experienced and he didn't know what to do, yet Butcher… seemed as at ease as ever. Like he’d dealt with a hundred men with nukes in their chests yelling at him.

Though he knew him longer than Ben did, even all Hughie could do was watch with the same odd mixture of shock and amazement when Butcher sat down beside the supe, tossed the fries between them, then changed the channel. No one had touched the remote since Ben had figured it out just enough to channel surf onto his own films. He had guarded that thing like a kid who found a new toy he didn't want to share.

“I.. was watching that.” Ben struggled to get out in a mumble that had never left his lips before.

“Won't spoil the ending for ya then, just say it ain't worth more than a prostitute that's got the clap.” Butcher casually informed him while he looked through the menu. The hotel, although shitty in every other aspect, actually had a Vought+ subscription, which begrudgingly had a pretty good selection. “Hughie, be a good lad for me an name a tolerable animation that aint Disney.”

“The Little Mer…maid..?” Hughie stuttered out, his brain automatically picking the last Disney movie he’d watched with him, too scared to really absorb the question.

“That’s Disney, Champ. Lookin fer somethin on Vought+”

“Oh. Right. Um..” He racked his brain for a moment trying not to mess this up and get his butt chewed by Soldier Boy later for choosing a movie he would hate sitting through. But the more he thought about everything the grumpy old man complained about when they were alone the less movies he could think of. In fact all he could think of was Ariel. Ariel.. Ariel, save me. Oh wait. “Isn't… isn't there a Disney princess section on Vought+ now?”

“Hn.. There is. Good thinkin.” Butcher cleared his throat a bit as he clicked on the movie then tossed the remote to reach for a fry, not paying attention to the way Ben was currently staring at him like he was an alien. “Redheaded broad it is.”

“Disney.. prin…cess? Like… the films for.. little brats..?” Ben slowly asked out, his voice not really feeling like his own with how insecure and… small it sounded. This all felt like a drug fueled dream. A really weird one, not one of the fun ones. Maybe he’d already fallen asleep and was back in some cyro-coma.

“Mmhm. Hughie likes em. Usually he leans more towards that lil boffin Belle over the glorified sushi princess but–”

“I like Ariel!” Hughie instantly defended but his cheeks went pink as he realized he meant to defend himself in a different way. Like one that might keep his reputation intact or keep himself from being relentlessly bullied by resident tough man, Soldier Boy. “I-I mean–” He gave Butcher an embarrassed, desperate look as he hissed out between his teeth a clear plea. “Butcher..! Come on..!”

Ben’s head swiveled between Hughie and Butcher feeling like he was missing out on something. He felt like that a lot recently since the world was so much different than it was back when he was last in it but this felt like he was out of the loop on something he should know.

“Why… why does Hughie like–” Before he could even finish his question, Butcher had slipped an ice cream dipped fry in his mouth, surprising him further. His reaction time was lacking, he hadn't even seen the man’s hand until it was too late. His senses were dulled. Could only imagine the foul shit his father would say if he saw him now.

“Film’s startin, kid, eat yer food.” Butcher spooned a mouthful of frostie into his own mouth with the grace expected of a grown man whose shirt was stained as much as it was and Ben watched him as he slowly followed instructions and chewed what had been given to him. His gaze flicked over to Hughie still trying to figure out what was going on but all Hughie was telling him was that he’d rather be swallowed alive by the couch than make eye contact with him.

The sound of water splashing alongside loud music on the tv stole his attention away from his less than stellar detective work and he watched for a few seconds as sailors began to sing. His brows furrowed and he turned to Butcher to protest and ask again about why the hell grown men would watch cartoons like this but the moment his mouth opened he was spoon fed some frostie. And while it was more careful than how the Brit had fed himself the action was aggravating. Ben looked at the Brit with an unhappy glare that probably looked more harmless than his usual happy expression if the rest of him looked as pathetic as he felt. But when he was given no attention from it he finally turned away to begrudgingly watch the stupid movie they insisted on making him watch instead of dealing with his problems.

Twenty minutes was all it took for Ben to be fully enraptured, his thought process having melted away with the colorful fish on the screen without his knowledge. Butcher had kept a casual eye on him after he’d realized he was dropping, mildly worried that the loose cannon might start to get anxious again if he broke out of his distraction. It was a little rockier at the start of the movie when he was still incredibly uneasy with the situation and unhappy with having been fed twice without permission; however Butcher was stupid and confident. An that’s what got ‘im this far in life, right?

So sue him if he let himself feel a bit smug as Ben obliviously settled into this new headspace, watching the movie as if it were the most interesting thing he’d ever witnessed. The only time he occasionally turned away from the screen was for the brief moment it would take to be spoon fed another bite being offered. Nothin beat the tried and true combination of an age regression classic an comfort food t’keep someone perfectly satiated in a headspace, eh?

Kid would barely wait to swallow before pointing at the screen to yell something about it because he was trying so hard to listen after having been told “ta swallow ‘is food ‘fore speakin,” but still NEEDED to give his commentary on everything since at his core he was still Ben. He might be acting younger but he was still who he was for better or for worse. And that included movie commentary.

Ben: “That crab is such an ass-munch! I mean look at him! He’s practically makin out with King Trident’s butt.”

Butcher: “His name’s Sebastian, you’ll like him more later on, bud.”

Ben: “I don’t like commies.”

Butcher: “Now why’dja go an call the poor ol bastard that?”

Ben: “He’s red.”

Butcher: “That don’t mean… he’s a crab, mate.”

Ben: “And? Crabs can be commies.”

Hughie: “That’s weirdly the most inclusive thing I’ve heard you say.”

—

Ben: “Hell yeah King Trident!”

Hughie: “You can't cheer for him, he just destroyed his daughter’s most prized collection!”

Ben: “Uh yeah. She didn't do what he said so she earned it. And she was probably kissin on that statue like a weirdo. Anyway he looked cool doing it.”

Butcher: “An how’dja know she was doin that?”

Ben: “I dunno.”

Hughie: “Ariel wouldn't kiss a statue!”

Ben: “Shut up, Hughie, you don't know that!”

Hughie: “Yes, I do! I’ve watched this movie more than you!”

Butcher: “Boys.”

Hughie: “Sorry..”

Ben: “Well I’m not sorry.”

Once the junk food was gone, Ben started his yawns again but Butcher counted himself lucky that his anxiety didn't notice them this time since that was the only thing he could guess set him off earlier. That or he just took too much while he was gone and got paranoid. Supe was a nutcase anyhow and Butcher probably trusted him even less than Hughie did.

Near the end of the movie though was when the brick of a man made himself comfortable against Butcher’s side and without making it a big deal, the infamous bloke wrapped his arm around his shoulder to pull him in tight. He was softer than he looked. Maybe that level of comfort he was providing was why Ben’s aggressive commentary died away before he could give a final scathing review and instead slipped asleep the moment the next movie started. But Ben would certainly deny that to anyone that brought it up. Including his own thoughts. He’d rather blame those supe-special roofies he never confirmed.

[sysig]

You're still standing off to the side. Somehow, center stage has shifted from under your feet without you realizing, and you're standing in the wings, performing to no one.

Starring Role (Patreon)

[dykedvonte]

I dislike takes that Danse would be just as conservative in modernized aus when it's clearly shown his staunch views of things come from his time in the Brotherhood and his deep-rooted desire to belong to something with a greater purpose.

Not to mention lines that show much more open-mindedness that get overlooked for his harsher sentiments when you first meet him. Like the oppurtunity to be a part of something is why Danse fell so far into Brotherhood dogma and it doesn't negate the offense things he does but I feel like it's just lazy to be like "hmmm he'd def be racist" just so it aligns to his BoS beliefs.

[hplonesomeart]

Whoops! Looks like this network is running on an outdated script, needs some immediate changes I’m afraid. But stay tuned during this brief commercial break as things get tidied up, we’ll be back on track in no time!

…..that was a long winded way of saying I’ve finished making some Mr. Puzzles fanart and I like how it looks :3

Bonus content section wahooo here’s the art without the dialogue included

By the way incase anyone is curious what the jumbled words scattered around are talking about- it’s song lyrics to Still Waiting by Jazz Emu. Was one of the inspirations to make Puzzle’s art since the whole thing is about getting immersed into watching television to an unhealthy extent that it pushes your loved ones away :)) seemed fitting

Also here’s a close up shot of just his face, taken by my wonderful phone camera which (for whatever reason) automatically puts a darker filter on it! Plus added pixel patterns from the screen itself kinda adding to the whole glitchy wave ambiance. Feel free to do whatever with it just please credit me somewhere and we all good 👍

[agirlinthegalaxy]

It's been rolling around in my brain the last few days for some reason, but I still hate the family backstory reveals for Sophie and Eliot. I've seen some of the meta for it, but quite frankly, it still makes no sense. If it had been something actually thought of and intentional in the original, I think it could have been so fascinating. I mean, Sophie's willing abandonment of Astrid to contrast with Nate's loss of Sam or Eliot's adoption in contrast with Hardison's and Parker's? Could have been excellent! But they came out of nowhere in Redemption and don't work with these characters.

Sophie was still actively using the fucking alias that she met Astrid under! She met with someone from her past on the show! Like. Quite frankly, that one is unequivocally bullshit that they made up and threw in and pretended could fit with the established canon. (And I'm sorry, but the idea of Sophie abandoning Astrid and never telling Nate about her just... So much of Nate's trauma was rooted in the loss of Sam, and I think that introducing this element after he's gone and unable to respond to it taints Sophie and Nate's relationship in a way bc I'm not exactly sure how Nate would've responded to learning about this but I think that it's something he'd have needed to know. I don't know how to fully express my thoughts on that but yeah.)

As for Eliot, I don't like the adoption aspect literally at all. The way that he would interact with his family and the memory of his family would be different, and I think that it's flat out ridiculous to think that he'd have never mentioned it to the team in the original show, especially when dealing with the kid cases. (I also dislike the biracial adoption as its own element because if Eliot was actually raised by Black parents in the... idk what 80s/90s? That just. doesn't feel congruent with how they write Eliot interacting with PoC, not necessarily in a bad way, but babe, he's written like a white southern man raised in a specific kind of culture that does not jell with that. It also makes Eliot look... really bad that he was apparently raised with the knowledge of how fucked up the military was and his parents' history and made the choices that he did.) Like the show may not have explicitly stated it but the implication of that relationship was vastly fucking different throughout the original show.

Just. These were not backstories that were congruent with their depiction and characters in the original show, and they're also just moves that I don't particularly like or find interesting directions for those characters. There's also something to be said about how it was apparently unacceptable for a woman to not have kids or someone not reconciling with their biological family when that was something that the original show handled a lot better. Out of all the directions to take Sophie and Eliot's stories, that's just not really one that I think was a good idea.

[literatureisdying]

being at a different place in your life than your friends is such a weird feeling

[kabukeo]

tonight's little doodles

[sweet-milky-tea705]

Idk why i never feel like im allowed to think about my future. Probs a little depression thing but idk.