#but i also know i have to work towards . something. anything

[mybelovedsylus]

My hand slipped. Uh 18+ pls. Minors, keep it moving even though I know this doesn't come close to other's spice lol. ANYWAY the boys may have been feral in the promos - but uh anyway this is for my fellow Sylus girlies. (Also my first go at smut so I can’t promise anything great- but gotta get it out before we probably find out the cards are actually angsty as fuck) Potential Caleb one in the works cause the whole shoving his necklace in his mouth moment… aaaaaaaanyways no beta and no proofreading cause that’s who I’ve always been and it’s a pain on the iPad - forgive any mistakes.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The Sylus I had gotten to know over the last several months was gone. He had disappeared out of the N109 zone in the middle of the day while I had been off on a mission hunting wanderers. Luke and Kieran had blown up my phone, but by the time I got the messages the trail had gone cold. That was until a few months later and that’s how I found myself in a giant cage, Sylus chained up across from me. The usual shine of red glimmer in his eyes was gone, instead it was a preditorial black glaring back at me.

“What have they done to you?”

“You’ve come to help? Why your idea of help is heartwarming,” he stuttered out stumbling towards me, pulling against his chains. His head tilted to the side and his tongue swept across his bottom lip as he looked me up and down. Before I could stop myself I flinched back a step, backing away just an inch but he noted it right away. His lips lifted into a eerie grin and then before I could blink he was on me, twisting my body so my back was perfectly molded to his front. I gasped as he ground his hips into mine and his arm locked around my throat, letting me know exactly what thoughts were filtering through his mind.

“Sylus, focus, we can worry about that later. Now’s the time to get you out of here.”

It was a weak beg honestly. It had been weeks since I had seen him and I wasn’t immune to him even knowing that he wasn’t himself. It’s as if he could sense that, huffing a sardonic chuckle into my neck as his mouth trailed up to my ear.

“Why would we leave?” He whispered and I felt the cool metal of chains sliding around my waist and winding over both hands. That was the shock I needed to start trying to pull out of his grasp, twisting to face him - who knew how long we actually had to get out of here? He gave me a teasing ‘tsk’ and then yanked my hands together and looped the remaining chain through cage, pulling until my arms were secured above my head.

“Now you’ll never fly away little bird.”

That was the last warning you got before Sylus was on you. His hands were roughly pulling on your hair as his mouth slanted over yours. His pace was punishing, like he was trying to make up for lost time and also like he was blaming you for whatever had happened to him in the time it took you to track him down. You whimpered into his mouth and that provided the perfect opening for him to lick inside your mouth, tangling your tongue with his. He pulled back, his hand giving another firm tug to your hair before pulling them free.

“Now where do we start? I mean the outfit is something else, I think we keep that,” he whispers his hands trailing down the front of my chest, stopping to pull at my nipples now straining against the leather before they continue on down to the skirt. I feel the familiar callouses trail down my leg, hooking under my knee to wrap my leg around his waist as he presses closer to me.

“I can feel the heat pulsing off of you here,” he growled out as his hands were suddenly under the skirt, pushing my underwear to the side. He bit down on my neck and I groaned as his fingers ghosted over my slit, gathering some of the wetness that was rapidly pooling, before using them to flick my clit roughly.

“Fuck, what are they giving you?”

“I thought you were trying to get me away from this,” his words ring true, but my thoughts are muddled by the way he’s playing my body.

He shifts his attention from my clit, roughly plunging two fingers inside me. I squirm, desperately wanting to grasp at something and only being able to pull uselessly on my chains. He sets a punishing pace, the sound obscene in the otherwise silent area. After a few thrusts he adds in a third, his eyes fixated on my face and reading all of the responses that I’m sure are flickering across my face. I don’t even realize my mouth is hanging open until I’m being fed said fingers, tasting myself on his skin. He’s pushing them deeper down my throat, testing how much I can take.

“Suck,” he commands. I hear the sound of his chains rattling, his free hand grabbing at my other leg so my body is now supported by his body, and held up by the chains. I moan around his fingers as I feel the head of his cock pushing at my entrance. My hips roll into him, needing him. He lets out a cruel laugh at my desperation before slamming himself home. I scream against his fingers, rolling my body into him and pulling uselessly against the chains. My eyes are watering and his little control left seems to snap. The hand around my thigh moves up to collar my neck and he pulls almost all the way out, dragging against all the sensitive spots, to slam home over and over.

“This is what I’ve needed, why didn’t you get here sooner, so warm, feels like home,” he grunts, pulling his fingers from my mouth, using the soaking digits to flick my clit as he pounds into me. I can feel and hear the slam of his balls as he bottoms out, then the head of his cock hooking on my slit as it fights to stay inside.

“Please, Sylus, please let me have my hands back, I need to feel you just like you need to feel me.”

He falters for a second, and I wonder if the medicine makes it where he can’t trust me like normal. But eventually the chain loosens. My hands aren’t completely free, but they’re loose enough that I can loop them around his neck and pull myself even closer to him. I grab the longer hair at the nape of his neck and pull, which causes him to let out a deep groan and piston even harder. At that point I’m tearing lines into his upper back, wherever my hands can find purchase as I am taken on a ride. His fingers twitch around my neck before closing in and giving the illusion of cutting off my air supply. I can’t help the moan that tears out of me, and then I’m trying to push myself back on him, to get him deeper, to get him to leave a permanent impression inside of me.

“I’m not gonna last much longer Sy,” I warn in a horse tone, struggling the words out. He uses the grip on my throat to pull my head towards him so he can swallow my cries with his mouth. The finger on my clit flicks even faster and I’m screaming as I fall apart around him. He groans as my walls clamp onto him, making it harder for him to keep up his bruising pace. It’s only a few moments later that he’s pulling away from my mouth and biting down hard on my shoulder as he finds his own release, a few small aftershocks wracking his body as he gives me small little thrusts as he pulses inside of me. We spend a second still wrapped around each other, both breathing heavily. He starts to pull away, and I whimper as he slips out, a warm gush going with him.

He looks down and smiles when he sees the mess of my thighs from where our releases are combined. With a snarky smirk, he moves my underwear back in place regardless of the mess. In fact, he seems to like the idea that I’m sitting here with clear evidence of what just happened.

“Hands Sy, play time is over, it’s time to get moving,” I remind him, rattling the chains to draw his attention, “and I need a shower.”

“Mmmm except now you smell like me." He says as his nose follows the sensitive path up my neck, causing my skin to pebble and my shoulder to shake in a shiver. Oversensitive at this point, I put my hands on his chest and shove.

"Ugh. Fine, time to fly little bird,” he whispers as he frees my hands, and as he looks down at me I can see a tiny bit of the usual red returning to his eyes as the drugs lose a little of their control. There’s a glimpse for a second of the Sylus I’ve been missing. I grasp his wrist and pull him towards the exit, time to fly indeed.

[wandamaximoffsbadgirl]

Teacher's Pet Baby

Safe

Cg!Professor!Wanda Maximoff x little!student!reader

Summary: Wanda's voice lulls you to sleep while she's on the phone

Word Count: 592

Warnings: Age regression, fluff and comfort

Authors notes: This was a wala request here

The semester was finally over for you and you found yourself happily living with Wanda during the break. Just cause it was over for you doesn't mean she gets much of a break though. She's been working hard on next semester's classes. You were happy to be taking another class with her; abnormal developmental psychology. You weren't thinking about that though or much of anything at the moment as Wanda had let you crawl into her lap as she sat at her desk.

Wanda’s fingers never stopped moving, typing away as she worked through lesson plans and student evaluations. You had found comfort curled up in her lap, your head resting against her chest while she absentmindedly traced soothing patterns down your back. The rhythmic sound of her keystrokes mixed with the occasional sip of coffee created a lull that left you feeling weightless, barely clinging to wakefulness.

Then, the sudden ring of her phone jolted you, pulling you out of your relaxed haze. Your body tensed instinctively, your breath hitching as you tried to ground yourself.

“Oh, Malyshka, shh, it’s okay, you’re safe,” Wanda murmured, pressing a kiss to the top of your head as she reached for her phone. Her voice was soft, soothing, instantly pulling you back into the warmth of her embrace.

She answered without checking the caller ID, her fingers gently combing through your hair as she spoke. “Hello?”

A familiar voice came through the speaker, deep and matter-of-fact. “Wanda. Glad I caught you.”

You could practically hear the smirk in his voice. Wanda rolled her eyes, though there was no real annoyance behind it. “Hello to you too, Stephen,” she replied, her tone playfully dry.

Dr. Strange was well-known on campus—not just for being a renowned neurosurgeon before shifting to academia, but also for his sharp wit and no-nonsense approach to teaching. He and Wanda had developed a rapport over the years, exchanging insights on their respective fields, often challenging each other’s perspectives.

“I wanted to run something by you. I know you're teaching Abnormal Developmental Psych next semester, and I have a few students from my Neurophysiology class who might benefit from a bit of cross-discipline collaboration.”

Wanda hummed thoughtfully, shifting slightly in her seat. You barely registered the movement, already sinking back into the warmth of her arms.

“That could be interesting,” she mused, her fingers still absently rubbing small circles into your back. “What kind of collaboration are we talking about?”

“Guest lectures, joint discussions—maybe even a case study or two.”

You were barely listening now, your body melting further into her as your breathing slowed. The steady rise and fall of her chest, the soft vibrations of her voice against your cheek, the warmth of her touch—it was pulling you under, lulling you back toward sleep.

You barely registered her saying, “I’d have to look at my schedule, but I like the idea.”

Dr. Strange said something else, but it was distant, unimportant. Your eyelids grew heavier, your grip on awareness slipping.

Wanda’s voice softened, as if sensing how close you were to sleep. “I’ll email you later, Stephen. I have something very important in my arms right now.”

There was a brief pause before Strange chuckled. “Say no more. Enjoy your break, Wanda.”

“You too,” she murmured, ending the call.

You felt her shift, her arms tightening slightly as she pressed another kiss to your temple. “Sleep, Malyshka,” she whispered, her voice dripping with affection.

And just like that, you let go, drifting into the warmth and safety of her embrace.

[okkotsuus]

mirror opposites. (michael k.) !

features: michael kaiser.

contents: kaiser backstory spoilers. mentions of child abuse. mentions of unhealthy mindsets. mentions of blood. reader is a rich girl and actress, also just a decent person. toxic-ish relationship dynamics. suggestive at times. angst. hurt no comfort. one-sided enemies to lovers. 2.2k words.

notes: i wouldn't consider this dark content, but it certainly isn't happy content. also i am NOT enabling anything that mihya's father did, god no. this is questionably written i spent like a week in multiple sessions on this hoe...

michael kaiser has never loved anyone other than himself.

this is something he knew to be true.

knew.

because the second he set his sights on you: such a pretty and sweet little thing. he was hooked.

you were everything that he was never blessed with the privilege to be.

a being that exists to uplift others, to build them up by giving. born to two loving parents who thoroughly wanted you. never having to truly work for a thing a day in your life.

yet, at the same time, so contrarian: you were everything he has ever hated about himself and his upbringing.

an actress that soars so far on the top of the charts that people believe she is a god-given talent. someone who follows so easily, a sheep ever to be drawn to her shepard. and a director in your spare time.

it stirred his very being, in a way that shook his stolen identity. a king high atop his throne feeling an earthquake rumbling below his palace.

his lips instinctively curl into a sneer as the thrum of his pulse deafens his ears. michael kaiser knew all about you, because it was simply knowing himself.

why you were here, at a bastard munchen publicity event: was something he did not know.

the little voice in the back of his head told him that it would be best to leave it a mystery. to let sleeping dogs lie.

but to listen to that voice was to degrade back to his old way, to allow the old man to crash his nearly empty bottle of jäegermeister against the back of his skull. there were always just enough droplets of that putrid filth inside to seep into his fresh cut: and sear at the tender flesh below golden blond hair.

he doesn't get the choice, though.

another thing he hates.

"excuse me, may i get through, sir?" a voice rings out from behind him. god, you sound like the sweetest honey, rich and full bodied like fine wine.

michael's head snaps in your direction, eyes sharp like a bird of prey. something burns in the back of his throat, a biting remark teetering on the tip of his tongue: just waiting to lash out and see crystalline tears roll down your pretty cheeks.

but it never comes.

his words die before they are ever born into this world.

just like his father wished of him.

an iron taste fills his senses as his teeth clamp down, skimming a few tastebuds clean off his tongue. with a clenched jaw, his teeth creaking and echoing in his head, kaiser steps to the side to allow you to pass him. "of course, my bad."

the words are a hurried mumble as his fleet footsteps direct his lithe frame towards the men's room.

everything feels hot as michael takes deep, hurried breaths. his hands prop against the sides of the sink as he hunches over the porcelain. the fabic of his button-down feels like a snake, like hands holding him down-

no.

with a cough, spit splats into the wall of the sink, a bright red marbling with the fluid.

it's flushed away with the turn of a knob.

if only he could flush this feeling away just as easily.

an all consuming paranoia, chills running up and down his spine in unity with flashes of heat. his palms feel like every single pore is being pricked with needles. his lungs ache as he takes gasping breaths.

yet, he is devastatingly silent.

when his head raises to see himself in the mirror, just for a moment: he sees a grimly little boy.

CRACK!!

now, in the shards of bloodied glass, he sees himself once more.

he needed to remind himself of his identity in the most base way he knew: pain.

michael doesn't feel the sting of his knuckles as he runs them under the water till it goes clear. he wraps toilet tissue over the wound and keeps his hand tucked into his pocket as he returns to the floor.

no one would ever know.

not until after the event.

and kaiser's trail of debris was not something that bastard munchen was unfamiliar with. on his very first day after being freed from his cell, he practically incapacitated three players in one breath.

it was an unspoken part of the team.

the price for his talent.

was blood.

as cerulean eyes survey the area, mapping every single money-grubbing exec to avoid, he is forced out of his thoughts once again. by that aggravatingly melodic voice that was beginning to etch its way into his mind. carving to make a mark.

"pardon, sorry to bother, but i completely didn't recognize you earlier: michael kaiser, right?"

his blood ran ice cold in his veins.

you knew him.

like a slap in the face, his calm was shattered to thousands of bits and pieces: like that damned mirror he had just slashed his hand on.

rashly, he reaches a hand to push his bangs from his eyes. the feeling of the strands against his forehead suddenly becoming far too stimulating. he doesn't even realize his mistake.

not until he sees those e/c eyes of yours widen like saucers.

fuck.

michael forgot that was his cut up hand.

like a deer in headlights, he stands there, arms limp by his sides.

but when your gentle hands reach for his, every muscle in his body tenses up. like a coil ready to snap.

no one touches him.

no one.

not fans, not teammates, not even ness.

in the corner of his eye, he can see his loyal guard dog's face paint in horror.

that instinctual disgust never hits him as soft skin meets with his own, so delicately as you bring his bloodied knuckles closer. that sends him further into his silent spiral.

why?

why does it have to be you?

out of the 8.2 billion people on this earth, it just had to be you.

god hated him, he was sure of this before; but now, he was certain.

"don't touch me." michael's words are poorly masked with indifference, which means nothing with the way he refuses to pull himself from your ensnaring gentleness.

you don't even acknowledge his quip, staring down at blood-stained porcelain skin with enigmatic eyes. "you're hurt... let's wash this out and get it properly wrapped."

kaiser can't find the strength in himself to fight you, not when you cradle him so gently in cupped palms: as if he were the last drop of salvation on this cursed and rotten planet.

it winds him up leant back on a random bench, while you pick some shards of glass carefully from his wounds with the tweezers of the emergency first aid kit your manager keeps. dutiful, you stay hunched over his knuckles, not even moving when drawing in slow breaths.

he'd dare to say you could have been a surgeon in another life.

ZING!!

okay, maybe he won't go that far. a searing shot of pain races up his arm as your hand shakes for just a second.

before he can pull away, you pull out a small, but jagged piece of glass. "i'm sorry, could tell that one hurt you..."

normally, michael wouldn't give an apology the time of the day. if they make the mistake once, they can and will do it again: that was his outlook.

but, seeing that forlorn look in pools of e/c, he finds his heart growing a little more forgiving.

even if just slightly.

"it's fine, didn't hurt that bad, schätzchen*. i've faced worse." the words leave a bitter taste on his tongue. even if he had not experienced it in so long, the memories of the wretched pain his drunk father would leave is something he can never shake.

"that doesn't matter, i hurt you: which means i should apologize." you speak, tone firm as you sprays an antibacterial spray on his knuckles before placing gauze and wrapping them taut. "that's common decency, michael."

he knows that.

but he was never taught that, it was something he had to learn over time. something he still hasn't fully grasped yet, even at nineteen years old.

another thing he can blame dear old dad for.

you tie off his bandage and hum, leaning down to press your lips against the fabric. "my mother says this makes anything heal faster..." it comes out in a whispered confession, as if you didn't intend for him to fully hear the words.

against his better judgement, heat begins to nip at the high points of kaiser's face.

"we'll see if that really works out, ja**?"

and just for a second, he can see that public face of yours crack just a bit when heat begins to pool in the middle of your palms, eyes averting his ocean gaze.

not quite sure why, but he found himself liking that reaction; though he had claimed to hate you. it sent a trill up his spine, bouncing up each vertebrae like a xylophone, leaving a melodic ringing in his ears.

wow.

so this is what love is like?

immediately a sense of horror begins to eat at the corners of his mind. falling in love at first sight with an actress? just like his dad did all those years ago.

he had no way to know you would stay.

and that truly scared michael kaiser.

possibly more than fearing for his life, as he did for so many years.

"it may not seem it, but i'm actually a football fan..." you murmur, tone creeping into the territory of shy as your eyes dart up to meet his once more. "originally, i had come to this event for a promotion that my manager arranged: some commercial that would be shot in a few months. i figured, while i was here, i would try to get an autograph..."

that perked kaiser's interest: you, a fan? with the millions of people who watched your movies, here you were in front of him acting like someone who just happened to be in the right place at the right time.

it was... cute.

"so, you're a fan of mine, then?" he hums, a smug look beginning to curl at the corners of his lips. his hand, the one you had so carefully bandaged, reaches to brush a stray h/c strand from your eyes.

yet, against his nature: michael's hand lingers, fingertips brushing over the supple skin of your cheek before slowly retreating. "i could give you a lot more than some autograph, schatz***..."

just like he thought, he can feel the heat that begins to radiate from your skin at his words. strangely, michael finds this sensation as fulfilling as breaking down other strikers. the sight of your pretty lips being drawn behind pearly teeth as he watches your head spin.

"oh, gosh- i don't even know what to say..." the words tumble from your lips like water from a broken dam.

kaiser grins, he had you: hook, line, and sinker.

"you don't need to say anything, just yes." his blood thrums under his skin, michael can practically feel it rushing through his veins, as it beings to pool.

god, the sight that you give him the privilege of seeing next sends a wave of heat running under his collar. those pretty e/c eyes swallowed up by dilated pupils he can practically see himself in, pink lips shiny and bitten.

"yes, please, michael."

it's like you've opened pandora's box.

.

.

.

every muscle in kaiser's body aches, raised red scratches spanning his broad back. but when cerulean eyes open, from briefly dozing off, he can't find the sight of you in his hotel suite.

the bitter taste of bile rises to the back of his mouth before he thickly swallows. in an instant, he's sat up, eyes desperately searching. his robe thrown on haphazardly.

in his fervor, he doesn't notice the envelope that he knocks off the bed, neat penmanship scrawling his name across the back.

michael's phone rings with a buzz, he picks it up with hope it's you; even though numbers weren't exchanged. no, it's jinpachi ego.

and in that moment, michael kaiser thinks he can understand his father's anger. even if just a little bit.

*Schätzchen: Sweetie (feminine petname)

**Ja: Yes (affirmative)

***Schatz: Darling (feminine petname)

okkotsuus 25

[earlysunshines]

secret rhymes - 44. ???

a/n: written part seems a bit short but shits gonna be brewing (i think) also the last name for lauren rhymes with the last name of an evil man i know so like. shit i just make up ppl based on my Enemies omfg…

you shouldn’t be doing this. you should be on your way to hybe right now to tell hanni that yujin solved her “problem” with her girlfriend. you shouldn’t have lied in the first place, really.

still, you’re out your dorm with something slightly presentable because you can’t show up looking like a bum to see the girl who dumped you over a year ago.

fuck. you think as you walk toward the cafe. fuck.

there's a growing worry about whether or not you'll be caught out with her, knowing that there's a bit of attention on you due to your popularity. it doesn't matter, you tell yourself, it'll be over quickly.

you walk in and the cafe is quiet other than the clinks of cups, conversation, and buzz of the espresso machine. scanning the room, there's a familiar figure that sits in the more secluded corner. you order a latte in hopes that it'll give you some good luck.

when the time hits 3:05, you sit in front of lauren, catching her by surprise. she looks more mature now, prettier (as much as you hate to admit), but there's a familiarity that weighs the air with too much left unsaid. you don't let any of it bother you, not yet.

"you look good," she says first, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

you exhale slowly, offering a polite nod. "thanks."

she hesitates for a moment, fingers tapping against the table before she speaks again. "I missed you."

you grimace. the words hang between you, waiting for something—acknowledgment, maybe. but you only lift your cup to your lips, taking a sip before setting it back down.

"how are you and your boyfriend?" you ask, voice even.

she lets out a soft laugh, shaking her head. "still together."

of course. you nod again, as if it doesn't matter—because it doesn't.

"what do you want? and why are you in seoul?" you ask, tone vicious.

she traces her nail along the rim of her glass. "for work. i do modeling on the side."

the irony hits you, and before you can stop yourself, you let out a laugh.

"what?" she asks, tilting her head.

"that's so fucking ironic. you bashed me for doing music and now you're a model. are you playing with me?" you respond, though it 's not hard to believe that she is a model; she's pretty, it's not hard to see that. hating her guts doesn't erase that either.

she smiles, that same practiced, self-assured curve of her lips. "it's different. modeling is just a side thing for me. I'm still focused on my degree and getting a stable job. you know, something secure." she takes a sip of her drink, keeping eye contact.

it's backhanded, but you don't react. you simply nod.

"right." you say, your tone light.

you don't owe her anything—not a reaction, and definitely not an explanation. whatever this meeting was supposed to be, it's clear now that it isn't for closure. maybe just curiosity on her end. for you? it's just a reminder that some things are better left in the past; you should've seen hanni instead.

lauren places her chin on her palm, giving you the same look that she'd give you before a kiss or something more. you feel your heart sink and there's a strange, uncomfortable churn in your stomach.

"you look really good after all this time. all that fame did you good." she says, smirking. "it's no wonder I spent all that time with you. i really do miss it."

you freeze, unsure of how to respond.

she chuckles and reaches over, tucking a piece of hair behind your ears before sliding her finger down your cheek.

"you're lucky, you know?" she continues, "i can't believe you made it this far. maybe I should've reconsidered."

you scoff. "don't you have a boyfriend? stop acting like this."

"i always liked to tease." she grins, not fighting back when you put your hand on hers to aggressively push it back. "your reactions were always great—cute."

what are you still here for? you groan at her response, narrowing your eyes at her. she seems to be scanning you, looking for every emotion you feel through your eyes and twitch of your features. it's scrutinizing, and it urges you to bring the meeting to a close.

"i don't know what you wanted, or what you gained from this," you begin, standing up. "but if it was to make me feel bad again, then fuck you. and if you really thought you could coax me back into your life—you're a fucking idiot. i honestly don't want to hear from you again, don't contact me or anything."

her reaction consists of a mere chuckle, plus a shit-eating grin. you bite down on your back teeth and scoff again at her before leaving. you've never had a more confusing—and frustrating—interaction with her. what was the point? for her to bash you discretely? you tell yourself not to get worked up by it, but it made your blood boil.

—

masterlist ; previous - next

taglist ! @namojoon @ly-gushka @layonaiguess @artrizzler19 @yerimbrit @sixflame438 @nwjnsloona @saysirhc @nimnia @somedaydream @trovao-penguins @modanisgf @c-yerim @starstruckgoateepuppy @tzuyusdoughnut @kaypanaq @peranoo @haerinkisser @electronicluminarycoffee @yoohtonyy @secretcessy @keiji-jin @awkwardtoafault @syronns @linnnsworld @inybits @ynwrites

[doyoulikethis-videogame-song]

Ask Masterpost #5 -- 2/8/2025

Summary:

Permissibility of Friday Night Funkin' Mods (Allowed) with update about Rhythm Heaven songs

Permissibility of Lego Batman/Lego series games (Allowed if original compositions or remixes)

Permissibility of fansongs that eventually end up inside the game (Highly situational; Leaning towards not allowed)

Permissibility of licensed music from external/unaffiliated sources (Not allowed)

April Fools plans

Note about attribution corrections

Permissibility of scrapped songs (Not allowed)

Permissibility of songs officially posted by developers before game release (Allowed)

----------

no rush on answering this bc i know requests wont be open for a hot minute, but i have a question if u dont mind!

are songs from friday night funkin mods allowed? and if so, would it be the same as rhythm heaven songs, where you said just an instrumental should be submitted since the "vocals" are pretty distinct? thank u!! :]

Yes, they're allowed as long as you can credit the original creators and the mod is/was publicly playable in some capacity, not just existing as a youtube video. It's okay to have the vocals as well if you'd like! I think I misunderstood the rhythm heaven case (I thought it would be the menu music that plays after you complete the song/level, not the sfx that plays DURING the song) and will clarify that accordingly.

----------

What's the verdict on songs from games like Lego Batman? Where the music is at least partially based on (if not entirely the same as) music from films or television?

Totally fine if they're created or remixed for the video game, but I'm going to say no if they weren't originally made for the video game.

----------

@cloudyskies4 asked: if a song is fanmade but ended up getting used officially in a kinda fanmade modernization how would the source for that be handled?

I think this is HIGHLY situational and I would probably need to know the exact song this is referring to. Overall, I'm inclined to say no, because it wasn't an original composition for the game (by the team behind the game, that is).

----------

is music that was licensed for use in video games allowed? like if some rock song from the 80s was used in a game that came out in 2010. pretty sure it's a no on that front, but i wanted to double check. thank you!

No, because it wasn't composed for the game itself. Appreciate you double checking though! (I'm assuming this is referring to songs that are unchanged when included in the video game and not 'xyz franchise song remixed for xyz franchise video game' sort of thing)

----------

hi! i absolutely love this blog. and i appreciate the organizational work you're putting in! so thanks for not only running this blog but also introducing so many people to some damn good music.

since these are never official tracks, one event i think you could do for like, april fool's day or something is maybe using silvagunner rips under the same format. i think it'd be pretty fun!

I probably won't do anything for april fools simply because I don't really care for it :'). Thank you for enjoying the blog so much!!!

----------

[Any ask that's correcting me on an incorrect credit for a song]

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THESE. SERIOUSLY. If you put them in the notes it might be a hit or miss if I see them but if you send me an ask I WILL SEE IT and I WILL CORRECT IT IMMEDIATELY. Proper attribution is important to me and I appreciate everyone who helps me stick to that! This isn't an ask, but I wanted to address it anyways.

----------

might be a silly question but are scrapped video game songs allowed? i know submissions are closed, im just asking so that i dont send something thats not allowed when submissions open :]

I'm going to say no, just because they were scrapped and therefore not intended for the final product :'). No such thing as a silly question!

----------

If the game hasn't been released yet, but a song from the game *has* been officially posted by the devs beforehand, is that okay to submit? I figured it's a yes but I just wanted to be extra sure for when Jan 1st submissions roll around :)

If the song has been officially posted by the devs (and is the full song, not the BGM for a trailer) and you can credit the composer than absolutely!! (assuming the song is going to be in the game, of course). And I'm sorry there were no submissions on Jan 1st... I'm still trying to clear through the ones we have already :')

[gold-onthe-inside]

pair programming - part ii

navigator

who? spencer reid (s3) x analyst!reader summary: what happens after your roommate and better half is shot on the doorstep of your building by her date. turns out, you're support network seems to have more nodes that you'd thought. content warnings: reference to guns + gunshot injury, surgery, blood word count: 2.1k a/n: realised after writing this that reader has more interactions with everyone on the team than she does with penelope oops

Spencer handed you a cup of tea, sitting down beside you in the hospital waiting room, the rest of the team milling around, waiting for news on Penelope’s surgery. You hadn’t said a word about what happened, the team relying on a police officer and a paramedic’s account while you sat there in catatonic shock, blood staining your white shirt, your hoodie doing more work in hiding it. You could still feel the blood on your hands, stained from pressing down on Penelope’s gunshot wound.

Spencer didn’t know what to do or say, just pressing the warm beverage into your hands, Emily and JJ murmuring in the corner.

“Has anyone told Morgan yet?”

“He isn’t answering the phone.”

“Is she?”

“Still in shock. Hasn’t said a word.”

“And Penelope?”

“All we know is a gunshot wound to the chest, and that they’re operating now.”

Spencer’s eyes are still on you, a shell of yourself, unable to reconcile the person he sees with the person he knows. He knows you deal with threats far greater than the ones they do — they’ve just come back from arresting a cannibal, you prevent military secrets getting out and uncover espionage attempts. But it’s from the safety of a digital interface, the day to day of it so mundane that it makes him want to pull his eyeballs out. Your job doesn’t get you shot. Technically, Penelope’s job shouldn’t have gotten her shot either.

No-one was paying attention to him, or to you, which is why he’s on his knees in front of you, aligning his gaze with yours, and does one of the few things he knows how to do; explaining. He put the tea down on the floor, taking hold of your hands, your eyes distant, your fingers cold. If he couldn’t do anything for Penelope, maybe there was something he could do for you.

“When the brain experiences trauma it has an affect on the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system.” He said the words quietly, a distraction technique to bring your focus to something, even if it was nothing. “The physiological response is a fight or flight response. When your brain is unable to process the situation, it freezes in an effort to protect your mind and body. You might feel numb, or cry, or rage. You might just sit there, emotionally unable to move. You might dissociate, and feel like nothing around you is real, or that it‘s actually happening to someone else.” He squeezed your hands, hoping for a response. It felt like you weren’t even there.

“I can’t imagine how scared you must be, and I’m not going to try and tell you that everything will be okay, because it may not-,” and he hated saying the words, they felt like a lie in his mouth, but it was the truth “-but whatever happens next, I am here. I won’t leave, not unless you ask me to.”

“I can’t lose her,” you whispered. Thank god, Spencer thought as he looked at you again, and while he knew there wasn’t anything he could say that would make it all better, he also knew that the fact that you were finally verbal was probably a positive. You hadn’t said a word in hours.

“I know,” he said quietly. The team still milled around, waiting, the hospital buzzing with activity, but he felt like the words were just his and yours, the intimacy of the two of you cocooned away from the world.

"I don't..." You struggled to get the words out. "She's all I have." He watched as the tears welled in your eyes, watched as they fell down your cheeks. He wanted to reach out, to brush them away, and he hesitated, wondering what he possibly could do to comfort you.

Instead he pulled you towards him, wrapping you in his arms, a hug, and hoped that he wasn’t being too forward, and you crushed yourself against his chest, hugging him back. He ran a hand up and down your back as he held you to him, his cheek against the side of your head.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, and he didn’t know if he was apologising for Penelope’s injuries, or the fact that he couldn’t save her, or that he hadn’t been there, or because there was nothing he could do to make it better. He was just sorry.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to background check this guy?” you asked, offering Penelope your eyeliner as she finished curling her hair and she rolled her eyes.

“God, you sound like Derek,” she retorted spitefully and you frowned. It was unlike her to be say his name with such anger, when it was usually said with love, fondness, occasional lust, and just in an overall dreamy fashion. A part of you had always wondered if there was more to their relationship than just platonic friendship.

“Alright,” you replied, letting it go. Penelope was a grown woman, she could make her own decisions… and was also equally capable of running a background check as, if not more, thorough as you would have. You tried not to look at the mess that your shared bathroom had turned into, make-up supplied and jewellery scattered over the counter, leaving her to do her thing. “And I better not get a text saying you’re bringing him upstairs,” you called out as you leave.

“This is just wrong,” you murmured, looking at Penelope’s pale, all but lifeless body, tubes running from her nose and arms, wires strapped to her chest, the suite silent but for the steady beep of the heart monitor. You still hadn’t moved from the foot of the bed, willing yourself not to cry. You were not going to be one of those family members who couldn’t get a grip of themselves. You especially refused to become a blubbering mess in front of her co-workers.

“I know,” Spencer said softly, wanting to take your hand again, but holding himself back. He still never knew where he stood with you. Hell, he didn’t know how to process what was going on for him — the only thing he knew he had to do was stabilise you, never mind himself.

You finally manage to put one step in front of the other, going towards Penelope and Spencer could see your hand shaking as you gingerly took hers, the way you blinked back tears, almost refusing to breathe because you were convinced the only thing that would come out would be a sob. Spencer swallowed, moving to draw the curtains over the windows, closing the doors so it was only the three of you in the room, and kept his back turned as you finally gave in to the squeezing grip your lungs had on your heart, sinking into the chair as you cried, gripping the hand that wouldn’t squeeze back.

You started awake when you felt a large hand on your shoulder, shaking you gently, and it’s Aaron standing over you. “Sorry,” you mustered, wiping away dried tear tracks and he simply pulled up a chair beside you.

“I know it’s been a long night,” he said softly, leaning on his knees, looking at you kindly. “But we need your help.” He watches you nod, taking in a deep breath.

“Anything,” you said, a lot calmer now.

“We need to get some kind of identification on this guy,” Aaron told you, his voice measured and even and a part of you was jealous you couldn’t be as calm as he was, and partly angry that he could be this calm with Penelope this way.

“She said his name was Colby,” you said, remembering the joke you had made when she told you.

“Like the cheese?” you asked, raising an eyebrow skeptically and she scoffed.

“Do not ruin this for me,” she retorted, pointing her laptop charger at you like a wand. “He’s cute and he actually likes me. Do you even remember the last time I’ve been asked out?”

“That doesn’t mean you should go out with anyone who asks,” you replied. “I mean, what kind of person doesn’t turn on auto-save?” It earns you a glare from her and you quieten, turning back to your book.

You shook your head, trying to focus on your screen, set up right beside Penelope, refusing to leave her side even as she slept, and neither did Derek or Spencer, the former practically breathing down your neck. You glanced up at Spencer, a plea in your eyes to get him off your back, and he makes a pitiful attempt of asking Derek if he wants to go get a coffee with him, which he denies and so Spencer shrugged, so you let out a breath, focusing on what you were doing.

“There’s nothing on a James Colby Baylor,” you said, sounding tired, running a hand through your hair, then settling it back on your keyboard.

“If he knew Penelope was FBI, then maybe he used a pseudonym,” Spencer offered, his hands in his pockets, standing across from you. “Try using the same combination of letters, JCB.”

“I’m gonna need more parameters than just three letters,” you retorted, looking up at him.

“Check anyone who rented a white sedan in the last 24 hours,” Derek said, still leaning over you and you desperately wanted to hit the both of them. Repeatedly. Instead, you check car rentals across the city matching the description, matching the restaurant that they had gone to, adding your facial recognition program to look for blonde men with blue eyes. “Plus some kind of job in the justice department. Try law enforcement, former military, stuff like that,” Derek added. “He knew enough to use legal terms, but not enough to know city attorneys don’t try criminal cases. Law school dropout, failed the bar exam—”

“Jason Clark Battle,” you told him, pulling up the picture of him and you swallowed. That was him. The guy you’d seen run away from the front of your building after you heard the gunshot. Your hands curled into fists, oblivious to Derek calling Aaron about it, charging out the door. Spencer didn’t particularly want to leave either of you, but he muttered a quick, ‘Be right back’ before disappearing.

You handed Derek a mug of coffee while Penelope slept in her own bed, the door left open in case she needed either of them. He’s set up on your couch, a blanket and pillows, his gun set on the coffee table, a single light left on so he can read the file. “Can’t sleep either, huh?” he asked you and you shrugged, taking a seat on the corner of the coffee table.

“He shot her on the doorstep, Morgan,” you said quietly. “If I hadn’t been at home…”

Morgan placed his hand on your knee, warm and comforting, and even though you had made fun of him being here, calling him Penelope’s ‘guard dog’, deep down, you were glad he was here. “There’s a lot that went wrong that night,” he said smoothly, his voice low. “Don’t eat at yourself worrying about how it could have been worse.”

You huffed a little. “You mean like you’ve been doing?” you asked, looking at him pointedly and he narrowed his eyes at you.

“You sure you aren’t a profiler?” he asked, noticing the slight hint of a smile on your face as you shrug.

“I guess we’re both wired the same way,” you said, instead of the retort you had lined up in your head. “Protecting the people we care about, blaming ourselves when they get hurt.” You glanced at Penelope’s room, her open door. “She’s all I have, Morgan.” And maybe it’s the late night, the anxiety coursing through your body, the thing that makes it impossible to sleep, that starts in your head and works its way to your chest, but you can’t seem to stop yourself. “She’s everything. My emergency contact, my medical proxy… Hell, if I died tomorrow, everything I own goes to her. She’s my family. If I lose her, I have no-one.”

Derek lets a beat pass, watching you, and you can tell he knows something you don’t, because he said, “You have people. Even if you can’t see them.” You frowned a little as he went back to his file, clearly unwilling to say more, and you’ve never been one to push into personal space. Instead, you go back to your room, left with his cryptic words.

[minhosglasses]

Before the big day - Y.J

plot: on the night before jeongin's birthday you have it all planned out to make the next day as perfect as possible. but it requires that jeongin doesn't get to know what it is, but instead stress gets the best of jeongin and you end up quiet for the rest of the night.

pairing: jeongin x gn reader

genre: idol bf! jeongin x you slight angst, fluff, comfort

warnings: none i think

word count: 2.2k

a/n: happy birthday to stray kids lovely maknae! I wish him the best birthday and that he has the most wonderful day!

The room was silent and cold. It felt like the minutes were ticking by slower and slower. Sitting on the far end of the couch while Jeongin was roaming the kitchen for the 2nd hour now. You could feel the tension growing as the minutes passed. The TV wasn’t on and no other sound was being made from either you or him in the kitchen. Outside the sun was setting and you couldn’t remember how long you had been sitting there without moving a muscle. The argument from before was in the air but no one wanted to make the first move to talk. Maybe you needed this to let it cool off but the silence was also killing you. Thinking back on the fight you start realising that maybe you should’ve just let him be, that maybe your own plans and thoughts took over. You could’ve easily changed the plan you had on going, but in the moment that thought hadn’t striked you yet. The last thing you wanted to do was hurt him. But even worse, in a few hours it was the night of his 24th birthday. 

— An hour ago —

You stood in the kitchen preparing the last parts of Jeongin’s birthday tomorrow. You had planned out the whole day for him to make it as special as possible. He would still have to work but you wanted him to feel special before he left, and let him have an even better birthday when he came home again. 

The cake was baked, you took help from Felix on how to bake it as perfectly as possible. For this you didn’t wanna go for a store bought one but make one you know has his favorite flavours. In your closet you were hiding balloons and decorations that you’d put in the kitchen. So as he walks in from the hall tomorrow he will see it first thing he does. Nothing is supposed to go wrong the way you had planned this. Jeongin would be home soon so you put the cake in the fridge, hoping Jeongin would happily let you make him dinner. He had to be as far away from the fridge as possible until tomorrow. Which meant if he needed anything you would get it. 

You suddenly hear the front door open and with the cake right in front of you it was time to put it away. You quickly but very carefully put it away in the fridge and just as you close it a familiar person enters the kitchen. 

“Hi! I’ve missed you” you say walking towards him to hug him. But instead of returning the hug he just brushes past you. Your gaze follows him and it seems he’s about to open the fridge. Panicked on what to do you end up squeezing yourself in between him and the handle. “Hey, what’s on your mind?”

Jeongin still doesn’t answer, he just sighs and tries to make you move so that he probably can reach for something to eat or drink inside the fridge. 

“Do you want me to make you something? Or is there anything else you want?” you ask him, somehow trying to get an answer from him. But he doesn’t even seem to be able to look at you. “Hey, is something wrong?” your tone suddenly turns worried. 

“Y/N can you please just move” 

“But I can-” 

“NO” his voice suddenly comes out louder than expected. “Just please move” 

“But Jeongin I can help, I can make-” 

“Please just move!” you didn’t feel the need to answer at this point. He clearly had a bad day and you couldn’t do anything to make him better. He clearly needed his own time so you decided to finally move. 

As you walk away he still hasn’t opened the fridge, he just stood there looking down at his feet. You could see that energy had been drained out of him and you couldn’t help but feel a bit guilty. You could’ve just changed your entire idea without a thought, but instead you were bugging him when you needed your own time. 

“Hey love I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have kept bugging you when you’re exhausted. I didn’t mean to-” 

“I look exhausted?” he suddenly said. “Of course I’m tired! I’m tired of just being tossed around at that company where everything I do has to be even better when I don’t even know what went wrong in the first place. I just wanted to get home to some peace and quiet and now someone else is bugging me” you felt your heart sting, not only for him but the comment he made on you. 

Without a word he suddenly storms past you and out the front door he goes again. You were shocked and you didn’t wanna take it to heart. He would never mean that. He would never say something like that to you. Something must’ve happened for him to even mention you as someone who’s bugging him. He wouldn’t…. would he? 

— Now —

Jeongin came back about 20 minutes ago and you could hear him roam the kitchen again. You had gotten worried about where he had gone as you had been sitting on the couch for over an hour. You decided to let him come to you, you didn’t wanna disturb his mood more than you already felt like you had. Suddenly Jeongin took off quickly from the kitchen and into your shared bedroom without a word. He closed the door and suddenly the whole apartment felt like a big hole. It was dark outside and the only light was on in the kitchen. 

You decided that if Jeongin was going to bed now, you could start decorating the kitchen for his birthday morning. You took a peek into the bedroom and Jeongin was laying on the bed with his back facing the door. He had changed into his pajamas so you could only assume that he was soon going to fall asleep if he hadn’t already. 

Trying to quietly enter the bedroom your arms immediately reach for the handles of your wardrobe. And there it was. A box with some starshaped lights that you’d put in the ceiling together with some pictures of the two of you that you had printed days before. He always mentioned how he loved taking pictures with you and it only felt right to give him some to have with him. Behind the box were some wrapped gifts that you had gotten from him. It was all different things he loved such as games he could bring with him to play on tour, some clothes that you thought matched his fashion and a new bag as he had mentioned that his favorite bag to have on tour with him just broke. 

Even with all of the hectic things earlier, you could never be mad at him. Because you figured he had it hard doing what he does. You could never imagine how hard it must be for him to be an idol with such a heavy mentality and standards. Every day that passed by and you watched him come home you knew how proud you were of him for doing what he does every single day. 

You brought the box with you into the kitchen and as you put up the decorations over the table the clock strikes 12, meaning it’s now Jeongin’s birthday. You hung the stars over and around the table, your plan was to have the curtains closed in the morning and the stars would light up the room when he walked out. Just like they did right now in the midnight darkness. Putting the pictures in some black and white frames your body suddenly jumps when the bedroom door flies open. And just as you realise what’s happening you feel some tears slip out.

“Hey… what are you still doing up?” Jeongin asked with a worried tone. “What is all of-” he stops his words and hurries up to you. Hearing a few sniffles from you he gets even more worried. Without another word he opens up his arms for you to enter and slowly brings you in. “I’m sorry that I lashed out on you. It was a really hectic day and I hate thinking of my birthday coming up because I know that I won’t get to celebrate it as I want. It’s just long hours of work when I know you have plans for us. You’re everything I could ask for and seeing this? Omg I don’t deserve this after everything I said… You’d never disturb me, I hope you know that. You’re the best and now I ruined everything… I’m really so sorry Y/N” 

You cried into his chest, not for yourself anymore but for him. Yes your plan had been revealed and he was currently looking at it, but it was his birthday and he couldn’t take it in the way he should. Which made you even more sad for him. Your arms went up his back to hug him tighter and you just let yourself breathe with him. His hand went up behind your head and feeling his thumb stroke the back of your head made you even calmer.

“I’m sorry I stressed you up. I just didn’t-” 

“No, don't even say another word” he said while pulling out of the hug to instead let his hands rest on your cheeks to dry your wet face. “You did all of this for me, to feel like my birthday is still special. I can’t even begin to describe how happy this makes me. You make me feel like the luckiest man in the world. And even after I acted like an asshole, you still did this for me? I don’t deserve you” 

He looked away from you and started examining the pictures, and with every picture he smiles even bigger. All of these were of his favorite moments with you as he always tried to take pictures of the two of you on every date. While he was still looking you walked past him and over to the fridge. You figured he had already seen it now so might as well show him now. You take it out carefully, it was one of those heart shaped cakes that you had always wanted to try and make. It was a white color with the candles ready on top of it and a cursive writing that said “Happy birthday love”. You lit the candles and walked out to him. 

The light made him turn his head towards you as you walked back into the dining area and he looked absolutely mesmerized. The room was dark, making the candles light up your face perfectly. He didn’t even care about the cake or the decorations, in this moment he could only feel the lucky feelings of having such a wonderful girlfriend like you in his life. And being able to call you his, wow he still couldn’t believe it. 

“Wow Y/N… you made this?” you nodded at his question, making him this surprised was what you wanted to do. Just not in the middle of the night, but the morning’s plans could always change. 

“You didn’t open the fridge?” you asked, realising that he looked a bit too surprised at the cake. 

“No… I felt like such an asshole. I left to just get myself together because as soon as I raised my voice I knew I couldn’t keep on like that. So I got some air and when I got back again you weren’t there anymore. I just felt sick and worried that I might’ve hurt you too much so I waited for you in the bedroom to talk. But you never came to lay down so I came back out and here you were…” 

This moment you realized that this moment felt perfect, you didn’t have to change any plans at all. Because this was even better than planned. Because in that moment he also got to feel how special you were to him. 

“Happy birthday” you said to break the silence, and his happy face made you smile even bigger. “Aren’t you gonna wish for something?” you said pushing the candles a bit closer towards his face. 

He stood there thinking for a moment, he didn’t really need anything. He already had you and this moment proved that you were all he needed. So in that moment there was only one thing he could do. He took the cake from your hands and placed it on the table, making you confused. But it didn’t last long when he leaned in to close the small space between you. His hands rested on your face again to bring you closer and all you could do was kiss him back. The butterflies were screaming in your stomach as they always do when he kisses you, but tonight was so perfect that you couldn’t help but feel it even more. 

He pulled away after a while and just took in the beauty of you and the stars. 

“I don’t need to wish for something, because I already have you and that’s all I need my love” 

[abyssalwavezz]

ok since caleb is back i NEEDDDD to see him and zayne interact and they have like a rivalry since they’re all childhood friends in case infold doesn’t give it to me idk how it would work tho but i trust you

Fire and Ice

Author's note: I really almost went a very dark romance direction with this, but it would've needed to be multiple parts and Caleb would've been like a villain, so I did my best to condense it into a single chapter uwu plus, this is my first LADS fic, so I am really getting a feel for the characterization and what kind of storylines I want to write after so long of not writing fics.

Contains: College AU! Zayne x MC/YN x Caleb love triangle (except MC doesn't really like Caleb back) where Zayne ultimately wins over MC teehee, shameless cameos of the other boys because I can, and several time skips because yeah <3

Warnings: cursing I guess? and Caleb being kind of a creep lol but we all know he is one canonically anyway, and also this wasn't proofread because who has time for that

Word Count: 3,743

Class started at 9:00 today just like it did every other day. Today though, you were late. And of course, it was an exam day.

You jumped out of bed as soon as you realized it was 8:41. Could you get ready and make it across campus in 20 minutes?

Only one way to find out.

Had you looked at your phone, you would've realized that a certain someone had been trying to message you. But he was unable to since your phone was on DND. You were too busy throwing on clothes and making yourself look presentable to think about anything else, anyway.

Once you had an outfit on and had somewhat cleaned yourself up, you glanced at the clock on the wall.

8:53...shit.

On a good day, it took about 10 minutes to walk to this class. Today, you would have to run there in 7. If only you hadn't skipped running the mile for gym...

You grabbed your bag, keys, and phone (that you still hadn't looked at) before running out the door.

However, something very sturdy and tall stopped you halfway down the hallway.

"Oof," you grunted as you came into contact with this tall, sturdy thing.

Turns out, it was a person. The person who had been trying to text you all morning.

"Caleb! What the hell?"

You looked up at him in frustration.

"I'm trying to get to class! The one you should be in too? We have an exam!"

Caleb, who still hadn't actually spoken, only laughed as he pulled his phone out of his pocket. He clicked a few things on the screen before turning it towards you.

It showed an email from your professor to your class, letting you all know that he was sick and that both class and the exam was cancelled.

It took you a few seconds to decide if you were happy or upset about the situation. Ultimately, you decided you were happy.

"If your phone hadn't been on 'Ignore Caleb Mode,' this could've been avoided," he chuckled out, putting his own phone back in his pocket.

You finally got yours out and noticed that you had, in fact, missed three texts and four calls from Caleb.

The most recent one though, wasn't from Caleb. It was from Zayne. Just reading his name on your phone made your heart skip a beat.

"You wanna go get breakfast or something?" Caleb asked, snapping you away from your Zayne-themed thoughts.

Your eyes met his excited ones, but it only took him a second to realize what your answer would be.

"Come onnnn," he groaned, tilting his head back dramatically. "Your next class isn't until 12 and mine is at 12:30. You got some big plans or something?"

You hesitated. You weren't sure how much you should tell Caleb. He could be a bit funny about things sometimes.

"I...I told Zayne I would meet him for coffee after our class. Which has now been cancelled, so he texted me asking if I wanted to meet him earlier instead."

Caleb grew silent, whatever was left of his initial hopeful expression now nonexistent.

"Oh...I see. Forgot he was in our class too."

"Caleb, come on. How about I have dinner with you to make up for it? Whatever happened with you two anyway? We all used to be great friends."

He scoffed, shoving his hands in his pockets and kicking at the floor halfheartedly.

"Don't worry about it. Go have fun, I won't get in the way."

With that, Caleb walked away.

~

You sighed as you swirled the last bit of your now cold coffee around the bottom of the mug.

"And so then he just walked away," you said quietly, still not sure what you did to deserve that from Caleb.

You looked up at the dark-haired man in front of you.

Zayne hadn't said much yet, he was just listening to you go on and on. But this really wasn't out of the ordinary for you two.

"Never mind that! Tell me about your day so far Zayne. I have really been yapping since we sat down."

Zayne lifted the corner of his mouth in a small smile, breathing slightly through his nose before raising his mug to his lips for a drink, and then setting it back down.

"I wouldn't call it yapping. I enjoy listening to you speak, and it sounds like you had an eventful day right from the start."

Your face burned slightly from Zayne's words, and you prayed he didn't notice.

"But my day before now really only consisted of some early morning studying, if you really wanted to know."

You chuckled a bit and raised your eyebrow playfully at Zayne.

"Future Dr. Zayne needs to study? We should all feel a little better about ourselves then!"

Zayne shook his head at your comment, in the way he always does when he thinks something is funny but doesn't want to show it and give you the satisfaction.

"Everyone would benefit from studying. Some of us...more than others," he said so only you could hear, glancing at the farthest corner of the cafe.

You followed his gaze and saw what he was looking at.

At the table in the corner was the well-known quiet kid, Xavier. His head was down on the top of the table in its usual position, and even from where you were sitting you could hear his signature snores.

What was really funny though, was not Xavier, but something else.

There were three people sitting across from him at another table with their phones out, taking pictures of him sleeping. Their stifled laughs and giggles were infectious, and you realized it was the class clown group of Sylus and his two sidekicks, Luke and Kieran. They truly were always getting into trouble or causing it.

You snorted and quickly covered your mouth and nose with both hands, hoping no one heard it. But of course Zayne did, and even he had to laugh quietly.

After the moment passed and it got quiet again, you decided to ask Zayne the real question that had been on your mind. The same one you asked Caleb a couple of hours ago.

"So... what did happen between you two? There must have been something."

Zayne stared into his dry coffee mug, pushing his glasses up slightly with the tip of his index finger.

"I'm not sure what you're referring to, (Y/N)."

"You know what I'm talking about. Caleb? The three of us used to have so much fun together as kids. Then when we started college together, everything got so tense a few weeks into the first semester."

"There are some things that you don't know, and it would be better if it remained that way. At least...for now."

You knew not to push Zayne. And you did trust him, so you decided to leave it alone for the moment.

Hopefully you would get to the bottom of it, sooner or later.

~

The two of you had stayed at the cafe much longer than you meant to. So you decided to go through the to-go lunch line before Zayne walked you to your next class.

You wondered if Zayne knew how you felt at times like these. Of course he was smart, but was he able to tell how you truly felt about him? What would he think? What would he say, if he knew? There's no way he would feel the same, so would he at least still want to be your friend?

Stupid.

Once Zayne had gotten his food as well, he turned towards you but stopped before he moved any closer.

"(Y/N), don't move."

You clicked your tongue in fake annoyance and put your hands on your hips, putting all your weight onto one side as you glared at Zayne.

"Why? Is there a big spider on me or something?"

"Yes."

"What?"

You immediately froze, your bag of food falling to the ground with a slight plop noise. Then you screamed and flailed your hands around, trying to brush off whatever spawn of Satan was on you.

In the commotion, you lost your balance, and fell backwards, colliding with another person. Whoever it was broke your fall, at least.

"Ouch, my hand!" the person whined underneath you.

As quickly as you could, you got up onto your feet and saw a big brown spider on the floor, scurrying away from the scene.

Huh, so Zayne really was telling the truth.

Snapping back to reality, you bent down with your hand outstretched to help the purple haired boy up.

"I am so sorry. It's Rafayel, right? Is your hand okay?"

Rafayel groaned and rubbed his right hand with his left before making eye contact with you.

"No thanks to you. I need my hands for painting, you know."

Rafayel bent over to pick up his bookbag that had fallen down, and then shot you another look.

"But I suppose that spider was a fearsome creature. You're forgiven."

Before you could apologize again, he turned on his heel and marched away.

Blinking rapidly, you stood up straight and scanned the cafeteria. As you made eye contact with people, they looked away away in a hurry. All except Zayne, who stood holding your forgotten bag of food.

"Shut up, Zayne."

"But I didn't say anything."

~

Classes were now over for the day, and you thought it was strange that you hadn't seen Caleb anymore. Usually, he was waiting outside your classrooms whenever he could, almost like he had your schedule memorized and watched you from a distance somehow. To be honest, you wouldn't put it past him. He had always been super protective of you, which you appreciated. But sometimes, it could be a bit much. Especially as you have gotten older, and are starting to feel differently and do more things on your own.

Did Caleb...like you? Is that why he has been like that? Or was he just being the best friend he could be for you?

Nah, no way he liked you. You guys were just really good friends, and had been for years. That was enough for you.

Zayne, on the other hand, often had your emotions and thoughts in a knot. You couldn't put your finger on when exactly, but you had fallen for him as more than just a friend, and you thought about him often.

Would his lips be as cold as his hands usually were?

You shook your head, trying to shake the thought itself from your brain. No sense in getting too deep. Zayne was here for school and to become a doctor. And he could have anyone he wanted, so why on Earth would that person be you?

You decided to take a walk before it got too dark. After all, it would be nice to be by yourself for a bit since the day had been so chaotic so far.

Glancing out the window of your room, you tried to plan the route you would walk. But when you did, you noticed someone duck behind the bushes nearby.

What the hell?

Now curious about who was watching you in your own room, you decided to go around the back of your dorm building to try and catch whoever it was.

Once you were outside, you crouched a bit and tried to come around the corner of the building as quietly as possible. You took each step with a sense of purpose, willing the person to still be there. The bushes were now only a few steps away.

In a flash, you lunged, separating the bushes with your hands to find out who the creep was. But there was no one there.

Defeated, you plopped down onto the grass, trying to decide if you even wanted to go for a walk anymore.

"Whatcha doing down there on the ground?" a familiar voice behind you asked.

"Caleb!"

You stood up excitedly and clasped your hands together.

Caleb bent down to your eye-level and smiled, his usual sparkle back in his gaze.

"Were you lookin' for something?"

You shook your head, looking back over at the disheveled bush.

"No, it was really weird. I thought someone was watching me from the bushes right there. It's right underneath my window. I was gonna punch them in the mouth!"

Caleb coughed.

"Yeah, that is really weird. Anyway, wanna grab dinner soon? You offered, after all."

"Oh, sure! It's gonna get dark soon anyway, so no time for a walk after all."

You walked with Caleb to the cafeteria in silence. Usually the two of you would be talking about random things, whether that be you trying to decide on a major or Caleb's newest model airplane he built. But today, it was nothing. And you didn't really like that.

"Caleb, do you care about me?"

Your sudden question startled him, the silence around you quickly dissipating. But he didn't miss a beat.

"Well, of course I do. It's about time you noticed! But why are you asking?"

"Because I feel like you're hiding something from me. And so is Zayne, and it really bothers me. Today was especially bothersome."

Caleb sighed, opening the door to the cafeteria for you.

"You really wanna know?"

"Yes! I miss the two of you getting along. We had some great times."

Caleb grabbed two empty lunch trays and handed you one. You mumbled a quick thanks as you watched his conflicted facial expression manifest.

"We just had a fight, okay? That's all. Sometimes that happens and people aren't friends anymore."

You weren't satisfied. You knew there was more to it after the way he reacted earlier when you told him you were meeting Zayne for coffee.

"You're still leaving something out."

"What, you wanna know what we fought about?"

"Yes! Maybe I can help."

Caleb shook his head, reaching for a serving spoon to get some rice.

"Hmm, I don't think so, (Y/N). Not this time. This isn't like when we argued over the last Popsicle in Grandma's freezer."

"Oh, come on. I'm not a little girl anymore. You don't have to hide things from me."

He gripped the next serving spoon tightly, causing the food on it to wobble slightly.

"I know you aren't a little girl anymore, and that's part of the problem. You don't need me as much anymore."

"Caleb," you groaned, "You know I still want you around, no matter what. I love you, you know?"

Caleb's head seemed to be on a swivel, as fast as he turned towards you.

"You do?"

"Well yeah! You're my best friend."

Caleb's face fell slowly, starting with his eyebrows and ending with his lips.

"Yeah, best friends love each other, I guess..."

You followed him out of line to the closest table where he flopped onto one of the seats.

"I don't understand, Caleb. You don't want me to love you?"

"He does, but not in the way you are referring to, (Y/N)," a male voice said from behind where you were sitting. A voice you knew very well.

"Zayne?" you gasped. "How did you know I was here?"

You turned away from Caleb to look at him fully. He wasn't wearing his glasses, and the expression on his face was completely unreadable.

"This is usually the time you eat dinner, and I was hoping I would find you here. I did some thinking after our conversation earlier and wanted to talk to you."

A sudden loud noise caused you to jump. Looking towards the sound, you saw Caleb's tight fist against the table, surrounded by stray grains of rice.

"You've got a lot of nerve comin' up to our table right now, Zayne."

"I suppose I have just as much nerve as someone who enjoys stalking women due to their own insecurities."

Caleb stood up from the table, attracting the eyes of other students sitting down for dinner.

"Um, guys. Maybe we should all go talk outside?"

You felt something cold against your hand, and then another on your cheek.

They were snowflakes from Zayne's Evol, melting against the heat of your flushed skin.

You quickly glanced at Zayne, who was completely focused on Caleb. He hadn't even realized that he was causing them to appear in his emotional state.

A few of them stuck to your eyelashes, but you quickly blinked them away, risking a look at Caleb.

He was just as focused on Zayne, his jaw set in place and his hands now gripping the edge of the table with white knuckles.

"I think that's a great idea," Caleb spat, still not breaking eye contact with Zayne.

Without another word, he stomped towards the door, bumping Zayne's shoulder on the way by.

Though you hadn't moved, you felt out of breath as you finally met Zayne's eyes.

He was stoic, the anger he felt inside radiating off of him like a heatwave.

"Sorry about the snow," he said quietly.

You shook your head.

"What is going on? This is the first time the two of you have interacted in a long time, and it's already going to shit."

"He wants you all to himself, (Y/N). And that is just something I cannot abide."

"He what? Zayne, what-."

Before you could finish, he left to walk outside as well, taking the remaining snowflakes with him.

You ignored the onlookers and the mess left on your table before following after them.

Once you had them in your sights, you realized Caleb was getting in Zayne's face, challenging him to make a move.

Your walk turned into a run so you could catch up to them in the clearing that they were in behind the cafeteria. It seemed that they were in the middle of a new argument.

"...doesn't know what she wants. How would you know, nerd?"

"You aren't right for her, and you act strangely when it comes to her. What would any sane person think?"

Caleb was getting loud, but Zayne was speaking in his usual measured tone.

"What is going on?"

The boys froze, seeing that you had followed them outside. Caleb started to back away, and Zayne cleared his throat, moving to push up his glasses before realizing they weren't there.

"Explain yourselves. Now."

They didn't start talking right away. Instead, they took a step farther away from each other and stood silently.

"I mean it. You two are acting so damn weird. I don't deserve this."

Zayne sighed.

"She's right, Caleb."

Caleb crossed his arms.

"Yeah, I know."

Zayne started speaking first.

"When we first came here, Caleb and I had a conversation. About you."

You didn't say anything, in fear of causing them to change their minds about telling you.

"(Y/N), I was going to let you know that...that I felt a different way about you now than you might've expected. And I told Zayne about it, thinking he would support me."

"Except I found out about the...peculiar ways he chooses to look out for you and protect you. And I let him know that I strongly disapprove of his intentions."

Caleb glared at Zayne once more, and you shushed him when you saw that he was opening his mouth to fuss at Zayne.

"You follow me around to classes and stuff right? I figured. And I'm now guessing that was you in the bushes earlier?"

Zayne raised an eyebrow.

"I don't need you to watch over me like a hawk, Caleb. I am a grown up, a grown woman. And I can take care of myself."

His head lowered slightly, a hand meeting his neck to rub it awkwardly.

"I know it comes from an honest place in your heart, but I need you to stop. And..."

You hesitantly reached out to touch his arm.

"I'm sorry, but you're like my brother. I love you...in that way. Do you still want to be around me?"

Caleb sighed, laying a hand over top of yours.

"You can't get rid of me that easily. I will always be around. In whatever way you want, pipsqueak." Caleb flashed you a sad smile.

You let out a nervous chuckle, glad to see that he took it at least somewhat well. Never in your life would you have expected Caleb to have a crush on you. But you knew you didn't want to lose him, no matter what.

"Zayne..." Caleb said, turning away from you and letting his hand fall away, "I'm sorry, man."

"It's alright. I look forward to moving past this with you."

Caleb nodded without speaking, and then he walked away. You decided you wouldn't call out for him since he seemed like he needed some time alone.

That just left you with Zayne and the awkward space between you.

"Zayne..." you began.

"Yes?"

"Can I ask you something now?"

A glimmer of hope could be felt, deep within the pit of your stomach. You couldn't stop thinking about something Zayne had said a few moments ago, and though this might not be the best time, you figured it was as good a time as any. If Caleb could do it, so could you.

"Anything. And for what it's worth, I am sorry too. Our behavior was inexcusable."

"What exactly did you mean earlier? When you said he wanted me all to himself? I thought you were upset with him because he chose to look out for me in unique ways."

The edges of Zayne's ears turned red, and he placed a hand against his chin, refusing to look directly at you.

"Were you...jealous, too?"

Zayne remained still and quiet, not sure what to say next.

"Because I really like you. I have for a long time. And no, I know what you're thinking...I am not just saying that because of what happened tonight. Actually it kind of inspired me to tell you."

Something suddenly caused your eye to water. You rubbed it hurriedly, then pulled your hand away to see a trail of moisture run down your thumb. But not long passed before you figured out what it was, a white speck falling in front of your field of vision giving it away as it landed on your outstretched hand.

"I wouldn't call it jealousy but..."

You shivered slightly as the snowflakes turned into a small flurry.

"I knew he wasn't right for you. And...one can have hopes."

~

[glade-constellation]

This might just be a very niche problem I have, but if I don’t say anything about it it’s going to keep bothering me.

Please stop calling the Astrals a cult.

This post is not directed at any singular person, it’s something I’ve seen since the Astrals were first introduced. I know a lot of people throw the word cult around, so I tried to ignore it, but I also think people need a reminder as to want a cult actually is.

A cult, by definition, is “a religion regarded as unorthodox or spurious”. Basically, a religion based on weird or false information. Some definitions go even broader. What people tend to forget about is that cults have specific characteristics that classify them as cults.

First, cults typically display authoritarianism. There is typically one person in the group regarded as the leader, and they are treated with the highest of respect. Anything preserved as disrespectful towards this person is highly frowned upon, and can lead to harsh punishments. The leader can never be questioned and is never wrong about anything they say. There is no accountability to their actions.

You could say the Astrals portray this with Taurus and Leo, but that’s simply not true. They are very loud about their opinions, but they do not set the rules and they are not the leaders. They are simply the enforcers, just as Virgo is the judge. They simply play a role, they aren’t an authoritative leader. Plus, Gemini said some pretty disrespectful things about both and were allowed to have their opinion. Cults do not allow this behavior.

Which leads into the next point. Cults are very particular about behavior. They are isolationist by nature. They follow a very strict set of beliefs and rituals that must be upheld, or you will be shunned. Breaking them can also result in harsh punishment.

This one I can understand. The Astrals are very strict on rules and behaviors. Breaking them can result in death. Once again, you have to look at this in the right context. Astrals aren’t human. Both characters from the show and Reed himself have explained this. They cannot be held to human standards when they aren’t human. They have to have these rules, because one mess up isn’t just an oops situation. It could level worlds, kill entire universes. Lunar permanently disabled Earth, and has accidentally hurt others before with it. His punishment was completely fair considering what was at stake. I’m not agreeing with how they handled his training by any means, but you have to remember what was at risk.

There are other characteristics that just have nothing to do with the Astrals. The zodiac lore humans came up with pretty obviously aren’t real in TSAMS universe, they don’t have any “sacred text” to follow. They are enforcing cosmic rules to keep the balance of nature, not one set person. They work as a group, no single member has more power than the other. There is no abuse or exploitation of members because they aren’t a religion.

You want to call something a cult? Just look at our Dark Star group. Most are over here praising Cetus as some great higher being. They do everything in his name. The only reasons others are allowed to stay is because they’re spreading the DSP, and even then they’re aren’t really considered members so much as underlings. There are levels to their group. The higher you are, the closer you’re considered to Cetus. Anything else, they just kill. It’s about performance, not genuine belief. (There are cases like Rez where there is belief and then they just become deadly, because they believe everyone not in their group truly deserves their fate.) That is a cult. That is a religion built on false pretenses.

Context is key. Yes, Lunar wasn’t really treated with the best respect. There were things the Astrals could have done differently. Thing is, you cannot hold a non-human being to human standards. Plus, the last time they allowed someone to be an Astral, it backfired on them to the extreme (Cetus). When you have that much power, you have to enforce boundaries for yourself so you don’t accidentally kill a world. Lunar wasn’t blameless. He put himself in this situation the moment he even considered using DSP. The Astrals are not the only ones to blame for Lunar’s current predicament. If anything, the DS group are the ones to blame, not the Astrals. Cults will do that. They will exploit your weaknesses to draw you in and then keep you there. The only reason Rez wanted Lunar to join them was because Lunar had power Rez could use for himself. They dug at Lunar’s fear of uselessness and desperation for control of his life. Lunar is a victim, just not of the Astrals.

Cults are a real thing, they aren’t just a tool used in fiction. Real people are affected by them. Please stop throwing things like that around carelessly when you don’t know the true definition. It takes away from their true weight. Victims of cults are told they’re over exaggerating and telling lies. Turning real world problems into simple fictional tropes have real effects on real victims.

[juullllssss]

Knightorder 141 x f!reader Part 5

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

The Moment you got better Johnny was already on your side. He basically attached himself on your hip. His hand now stayed on you longer, sliding to your waist and up your back to your shoulders.

You always felt colder when his hands left you. Only a confusing other warm feeling was left behind. It left you puzzled what brought this change to him. A few days after the doctor declared you safe to go outside again, Johnny had giving you the promised scarf.

You wore the scarf proudly during tea in the garden. He was perfect, as if Johnny knew exactly what colors were your favorite. The wool was made into a elegant pattern, similar to your favorite dress. Thinking about how much time, work and consideration Johnny put into it leaves you with butterfly's in your stomach. You have to admit to yourself, you feel something for Johnny, and if you are even more honest probably for the others as well. All of them giving you something you never believed you deserved of a man. Not only were they all handsome even beautiful, with voices that made you nearly feral. Johnny with his ability to make you smile, cheering you up every time but also listening like he was happily absorbing everything you were willing to give him. Kyle with his presence alone that made you relax and feel safe, no matter how stressed you were. Sometimes bringing you little trinkets, just because he thought about you when he saw them. Simon who made you feel protected and weirdly seen. With his clear gaze seemingly following you everywhere. But he also shares things about himself that make you believe that he wants you to know him, too. And Price, he never outright said it but you just knew that he was their leader. His authoritarian aura giving him away. Every encounter with him leaving you weak in the knees. You were tempted to just let him take the lead, melting into his warm arms and letting yourself be guided.

Before your daydreams could get the best of you, you hear a small cough next to you.

Kyle is looking down at you, his brown eyes soft and with a small smile on his face. "I hope i am not disturbing you, my lady?"

You straighten your posture, a little flustered about your thoughts involving the person in front of you. "Of course not, please feel free."

As Kyle is sitting down, he puts a small tea tin on the table. Softly pushing it towards. "For you my lady, i believe you would like this flavor."

You lean forward you can not believe it, it is the flavor you were searching for all this time. Another lady had mentioned it at on of the many gatherings, boasting about how rare this specific flavor was. When you mention it to Kyle you could swear you saw a little smugness and something...darker pass in his eyes. But is gone to fast. "I am delighted that it makes you that happy, my lady. There will be a market tomorrow at the towns square, would you like to accompany us?" You light up at the prospect for a chance to leave the estate, the last time already being to long ago. "I would love to, but i don't know if my father would let me." Towards your concern Kyle smiles reassuring, "Do not worry, my lady. Price will get permission from your Father. As long you are fine with going with all of us?"

You could not wish for anything better, a chance to be alone with all of them, has god be a witness to your dreams? You readily agree. With a last big smile, Kyle leaves you to yourself again. You can not wait for tomorrow.

----

The Next day you are already up early. Your sister is on a visit to her fiancés estate, leaving you with the full attention of the men. The Sun is warm on your skin and immediately raises your mood even further. You don't remember when the last time was you were so happy. The Market is already full with people, some sellers are shouting to attract attention to their products others are simply walking around, much like your small group. The Men shielding you from the other passerby's. Kyle directs you to one of the many stalls. One with jewelry and other accessories. But even if you are impressed with all the handmade pieces it doesn't escape you how Johnny seems to slip away. Before you can think more about it, Kyle interrupts your thoughts, "How about this one lovely? It would match your eye Colour." It seems as if Kyle is hell bent on getting you something, when you try to refuse he smiles one of his gentle smiles. "Don't worry about it, is it wrong wanting to adorn my lady?" You have to admit the jewelry is beautiful and you were never strong against Kyles charming smile, that made him look even more handsome, if even possibly. In the mean time you try not to think about the way he so naturally grabs your hand, holding it while walking.

After a while you also notice Simon slipping away, this time you want to ask him about, but before you can say anything Price is at your side. Completely covering Simon from your sight. For a moment you pause, did he do this intentionally?

"My Lady, look over there, would you like some of these?" There are beautiful made scented candles, with some of them having an odor you have never smelled before. You try to catch a look into the direction Simon left, but with the broad chest of Price in the way you have no choice but to give up. This whole situation leaves a weird feeling in the back of your stomach.

Price and Kyle continue to show you different stalls around the market and you have to admit you kind of push down your weird feeling. With them both looking at you so softly and insisting to spoil you with everything you want. Completely making you forget the fact that Simon and Johnny keep slipping away during your visit to the town square.

It is already late when you get back to the estate, and for once you dismiss them, being really tired. That is when you hear it, two maid talking to each other. They did not notice you, and curiosity gets the best of you, keeping quit and listening in.

"Isn't weird? they are never with the second lady, always just with her. And he is always coming in and out of this room."

The other maid is nodding, "how did they he even get a office from the lord, they are not high born, didn't even deserve that much."

When you hear that, you are ready to come forward and rip into the maid, but the next sentence lets you stop yourself.

"But you are right they are always around our lady, just last time one of the butlers got intimated by one of them, poor men didn't even know what he did. The lord must be blind to let them behave like that, i don't know how they did it." They both sigh and start to make their way down the hallway, talking along the way. Leaving you wondering what you heard. What was said. And for once you don't give yourself the luxury to shrug their behavior of, thinking about past actions in a new light. Could their be something about their talk? What did they mean, the Men are always around you?

Leaving you here, in the middle of the night, in front of the office the maids mentioned. You sigh to yourself, you and your damn curiosity.

[communist-hatsunemiku]

this might be a strange take but as someone who was groomed and who had what i would call an "elitist" mindset towards it, zako really seemed like it was about that mentality. of knowing you were playing with fire but feeling like you were above it. and for that i was really attached to it for the 2 hours it was out. the more logical side of me KNOWS its more likely a play off mimukawa nice try but i would love to believe it was meant to cater to a different audience than loli-cons. what's your take on the fiction vs reality of it? do you think westerners are just overreacting

I think you're interpretation of the song is valid, and pretty interesting tbh! I had not thought about that at all, and it's a case for letting people interpret the song in their own way. Instead of kowtowing to the loudest, most offended people. I also think the fact the creators literally took down the song amid backlash is pretty strong evidence they didn't make a song "for lolicons". They obviously did not anticipate this reaction, Channel admitted to having reservations, and tried to make Yuuki somewhat older-looking in the video. Whether you think she does or not, is up for (good faith!) debate. I do think she does not look like the literal box art version of the character, but that's kind of beside the point.

there is no fiction vs. reality debate because there are no real human beings harmed in the making of this song. Like, full stop. The "well kaai yuuki has a child VA" shit doesnt hold water cuz that person is an adult now anyway, and there are plenty of other songs featuring her that go wayyyy beyond this one. Like it's just something people reached for out of convienence. Same for "it violates her TOS!" like no one gave a fuck about Kaai Yuuki's TOS before it became a convenient cudgel in this particular situation.

The thing is, no one can have conversations about stuff like this in good faith because you are immediately labeled some kind of monster for trying to have any kind of nuanced opinion. Any dissent from "this song/movie/book is irredeemably evil and your sick for defending it" is taken as proof that you are a pervert monster. It's such a clear example of people, willfully and gleefully, diving into reactionary thinking without a shred of thought.

When really, I do think having an actual conversation about lolicon causing you discomfort is totally normal, and it's a pretty reasonable response to this stuff! But people can't just say that, they have to burn the whole thing to the ground, in the name of "protecting kids" or whatever bullshit they come up with. I don't actually like a good portion of Miku art for the same reasons people didn't like Zako! There was art going around on twitter of Miku with a literal binkie in Her mouth like a baby, and that shit was kind of weird! But I just didn't engage with it, that's it. People whipped each other up about the "harms" of this song, when simply not liking or engaging with it at all would have been the normal thing to do.

Freak outs like this do not protect anybody from anything. My big hot take is that having a moral panic about literally anything has more potential for actual harm than whatever it is people are panicking over. You simply cannot make rational, thoughtful decisions that prioritize protecting people from abuse when you are in a panic, or listening to people who are in a panic. You just can't!! It's not how shit works!

I know I have other asks about this, but I'm kind of trying to answer here, definitively, and let the topic dissipate. I'm glad I got the video downloaded, and we'll see what they release to appease all the weirdos who freaked out about the song. People objected to both the video and the lyrics themselves, so I don't know how they're going to come out with a new version that isn't radically different than the original. We'll see.

[s-jmk51]

I for one, don't like the term "gave in" makes me sound like I was hiding. I easily showed on my first message I thought he was weird.

What I didn't know was how much you would fight over something so simple as an opinion about a fictional character. I'm not even saying anything problematic...

What I thought would happen about me calling him weird was, we just discuss like regular people and end with "Okay, you have your opinion and I have mine. Let's part ways." yk... like regular people do...

I'm (not) sorry for saying my opinion. But I am sorry for the paragraph comment, because I believed I was responding to Max, which is why the DNI part seemed a little weird. So, sorry, Max.

Also, you nor Max have use for my opinion, nor do I have use for yours. You didn't need to start a whole ass fight over an "wrong ass opinion". You could have left it like Max did. You don't have to win every fight, nor do you have to continue a fight.

I think this was very stupid, this could have easily been handled a completely different way, such as you blocking me or something.

I'll remember next time to pretend I don't agree with you instead of "crying about 'I agreed'", since that obviously won't work. I'll also make sure to be more hostile towards the people I speak with because they have a "wrong ass opinion". /sarc

Should I take out my ukelele now too? Sing about how I'm wrong due to bias and opinion because I read a book and watched movies about Asshole kids that have asshole teachers and fight even more assholes? /sarc

Also, the Original Post appeared on my homepage, I in no way went to cherry pick at Pro-Snapes.

So a small (or well BIG) disclaimer for MY POSTS. Anyone is allowed to comment, to share their opinions. But being hostile because of an opinion isn't okay. Everyone/Anyone can change their opinions, and discuss them without fighting. /srs

"James Potter is a hero because he tried to protect his family from Voldemort."

Isn’t that literally what any father and husband would do for his wife and child? Why do you have to elevate acts of basic decency to the level of heroism? What kind of shitty parents did you have?

[fake-mouthstatic]

stargazing

@bucktommyfluffebruary, day 6. rated G.

💕

Buck hadn't exactly been sure how Tommy would react to his suggestion for a picnic under the stars.

He knew his boyfriend was a sucker for a romcom but he was still figuring out just how much he liked being romanced in real life; so far, he's got the answer pegged as a lot which absolutely works for him when it means he gets to snuggle up with Tommy beneath the night sky, wrapped in blankets in the bed of his truck.

Between the cushions that Tommy had also thrown in and the comfortable firmness of his chest beneath Buck's head, Buck can feel himself drifting towards sleep, lulled further by the way Tommy is carding gentle fingers through his curls.

"You still awake there, kid?" Tommy asks after a little while, sounding like he's trying not to laugh.

read the rest under the cut or on ao3 // other days here

"Mm," Buck manages to mumble in reply, opening his eyes and grinning dozily up at his boyfriend. "Won't be for much longer if you keep doing that though."

Tommy smiles.

"You want me to stop?"

"Absolutely not," Buck grins, burrowing even further into the crook of Tommy's arm. "Don't stop ever."

"Roger that," Tommy chuckles, the corners of his eyes crinkling beautifully as Buck hums into his chest.

He still feels like he's stumbled ass first into a romcom some days.

The way they'd met combined with all the ways they'd been inextricably linked before then seems like the universe's way of trying to tell them something.

It was almost too crazy to be anything but the plot to a corny movie and yet, here they were.

"I love you," Buck says, the words bursting out of him before he has a chance to stop them and a spark of panic flares briefly in his chest before settling into something sure.

Tommy's hand freezes in Buck's hair.

"You do?"

He sounds as uncertain as Buck's ever heard him and well, Buck's not having that.

He frowns as he sits up, fixing his gaze on Tommy's; he can see the uncertainty in his eyes as well as something else that he can't quite put his finger on.

"Yeah," he says, rubbing a thumb across Tommy's cheek. "A lot, actually. And I don't mind if you don't feel the same right now, I just… wanted you to know."

Tommy ducks his head, looking shyly pleased.

"I do. Feel the same," he says, leaning in to press a kiss to Buck's lips; he tastes of olives and chips but also of Tommy, of care and affection, of showing up for each other and yeah, of hot, sweaty nights in each other's arms. "I love you too."

Buck doesn't miss the first of the meteors sparking in the sky overhead; if he'd been watching this particular movie, he might have thought that was a little heavy handed on the symbolism but here and now, underneath it with Tommy he can't bring himself to care.

"Good," Buck grins, heart racing giddily in his chest. "That's good."

[nameless-jamie]

AAAAA I ABSOLUTELY LOVED NICE GUY! I'M OBSESSED WITH JEALOUS JAMIE!!! Can you write one where PA's old client (or some new footballer whatever you prefer) tries to steal her and he and Jamie have it out on the pitch during a match? I'd love if the team teased him after since "he's not a jealous type" and PA tells him she wouldn't leave him to calm him? Thanksssss!

Red Card Part 2

Masterlist

Jamie Tartt x fem! PA reader

TW: cursing, suggestive scenes, angry Jamie

A/N: Hi, I'm so glad you liked A Nice Guy. You're idea fits so well with a ff I posted yesterday called Red Cards, about an angry Y/N, so I basically was obsessed with the idea of making this part two (They both finally realize they are in love with each other) It doesn't really fit with the OG Ted Lasso timeline but idc. I wrote this all through the night (in my timezone lol) hope you like it!!!!

Y/N had worked with a few big names before Jamie Tartt.

She’d been in this business long enough to handle all kinds of footballers—prima donnas, workaholics, egomaniacs. Some had been a nightmare to deal with. Some had been decent, if a little demanding. And then there was Jamie, who was all of the above and yet still her favorite.

He could be a pain in the ass, sure—stubborn, dramatic, ridiculously high-maintenance—but he was also loyal, hilarious in the most unintentional ways, and, despite all his posturing, genuinely cared about the people close to him.

So yeah, she’d had other clients before him. But there was no one like Jamie.

And she sure as hell wasn’t planning on working for anyone else ever again.

Apparently, Declan Rice, a former client of hers hadn’t gotten that memo.

They’d worked together briefly during his last season at West Ham, before he transferred to Arsenal. He’d been an alright client—organized, professional, a little too flirty at times but never crossed the line. It had been strictly business.

She hadn’t thought much about him since.

Until now.

She spotted him during warm-ups at Arsenal’s home stadium, the Emirates, standing near the center circle with his teammates, rolling his shoulders and stretching before the match. He looked the same as he had when she’d worked for him—tall, confident, the picture of professionalism with his neatly styled hair and focused expression. But when his eyes landed on her, something sharp flickered in them, and he abandoned his warm-up, striding over toward the Richmond dugout where she stood with Ted, Roy, and Beard.

Jamie was further down the touchline, stretching with the rest of the Richmond squad, blissfully unaware.

Declan stopped beside her, giving her a slow once-over, an easy smirk curling his lips. “Hi Y/N, you still working for Tartt, then?”

Y/N crossed her arms, instantly on guard. “That a problem, Declan?”

He hummed. “Not a problem. Just surprised.” He gestured toward the Richmond crest on her jacket. “Thought someone like you would’ve moved on to bigger things by now.”

Ted let out a low whistle, rocking back on his heels. “Oof. Boy’s got a death wish.”

Beard just grunted while Roy muttered something profane under his breath that sounded like 'Fucking idiot'.

Y/N narrowed her eyes. “I’m exactly where I want to be.”

Declan didn’t seem fazed by her sharp tone. If anything, his smirk deepened. “Fair enough. But if you ever do wanna make a change and maybe work for a good player…” He winked. “You know where to find me.”

That was when Jamie’s head snapped up.

He hadn’t been paying much attention before, too focused on his own pre-game rituals, but the moment Declan winked, Jamie’s entire body went rigid. His gaze flickered between them, jaw tightening, his usually relaxed expression darkening into something unreadable.

Roy smirked. “Havin’ fun over there, Tartt?”

Jamie scowled. “Piss off, Roy.”

Ted just chuckled a little uneasy.

Jamie shot Declan a glare but said nothing, turning abruptly and jogging onto the pitch.

Y/N sighed, rubbing her temples. “This is gonna be a long match.”

From the very first whistle, Jamie was not himself.

Jamie tried to be professional.

He really, really did.

Normally, he played with fluid confidence, always a step ahead, making quick, clever passes and effortlessly weaving through defenders. But tonight? He was aggressive.

Every movement was sharp, every tackle a fraction too hard, every sprint laced with frustration. And the reason why was obvious.

Declan was everywhere.

Shoving him during corners. Smirking when he won possession. Blocking his runs just enough to be irritating but not enough to get penalized. And worst of all—glancing toward the sidelines where Y/N stood every chance he fucking got, as if reminding Jamie exactly who had his attention before the game started.

Jamie gritted his teeth, jaw aching from how hard he was clenching it. Fine. If Declan wanted to play dirty, Jamie wouldn’t hold back.

He slammed into him harder than necessary while fighting for the ball, sending Declan stumbling.

The ref blew his whistle immediately.

“Tartt, easy!” the ref warned.

Jamie didn’t respond. He just glared at Declan, stepping in close enough that their shoulders brushed.

Declan smirked, voice low. “Touchy, mate.”

Jamie glared at Declan. “Stay the fuck away from her.”

Declan smirked. “Didn’t know you owned her, mate.”

Jamie shoved him.

The ref immediately pulled out a yellow card.

Roy was already shouting from the sidelines. “Fucking hell, Jamie!”

Ted sighed. “Yeah, saw that one coming.”

Y/N closed her eyes, exhaling slowly. “Oh, for fuck’s sake.”

Jamie knew he had to keep his cool. One more reckless move, and he’d be off. But then—Declan took it too far.

It happened in the 78th minute.

Richmond was down 2-1. They had a free kick just outside the box, a perfect opportunity to equalize. Jamie stepped up to take it, rolling his shoulders, focusing. He needed to block everything else out.

“Dunno what she sees in you, mate. Could give her a better offer, yeah?" Declan tried to rile Jamie up.

Jamie was good at ignoring his antics... at first.

And then—just as he was about to position himself—Declan leaned in, voice just loud enough for Jamie to hear:

"You know, she was the best assistant I ever had. Kept me real satisfied.”

Jamie’s blood froze.

Declan smirked. “Might have to steal her back. Think I’d enjoy breaking her in all over again.”

Jamie snapped.

There was no thought. No hesitation. Just pure, burning rage.

He swung his leg—not at the ball, but at Declan’s ankle.

Declan went crashing down, clutching his leg, rolling like he’d been shot.

The whistle shrieked.

The ref stormed over, fury in his eyes.

“TARTT—OFF!”

The red card flashed in the air.

The Richmond fans groaned in unison.

Jamie barely registered it, still seeing red. His breathing was ragged, chest heaving, his entire body wound so tight it felt like he might explode.

Declan, still on the ground, looked up at him with a satisfied smirk, while another Arsenal player pushed Jamie towards the exit saying “Real mature, mate.”.

Jamie didn’t even care, he didn’t even argue. Just shot Declan a venomous glare as he stomped off.

The moment Jamie reached the sidelines, Roy exploded.

“WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!”

Ted sighed. “Well, that’s unfortunate.”

Beard just shook his head.

Y/N stood there, arms crossed. “Seriously, Jamie?”

Jamie exhaled sharply. “He was chatin’ shit.”

Y/N’s eyes narrowed. “And that was worth getting sent off for?”

Jamie scowled. “Maybe.”

Her expression softened slightly. “What did he even say?”

Jamie hesitated. His fingers twitched at his sides. “Nothin’.”

She knew that wasn’t true. But she also knew Jamie, knew that whatever Declan had said had gotten under his skin badly.

Y/N exhaled. “We were losing. We needed you.”

Jamie hesitated. “Yeah, but—”

“No buts,” she shot back. “You let him get in your head.”

Jamie scowled. “Did not.”

Y/N just looked at him.

Later, when the match was over and the team was back in the locker room, the teasing began.

Richmond still managed to equalize in the final minutes, saving the match.

But Jamie’s red card? That was all the team wanted to talk about.

“Not jealous, huh Jamie?” Sam grinned.

“Proper alpha male moment,” Isaac added.

Colin smirked. “Never seen you so territorial, mate.”

Jamie groaned. “Piss off.”

Ted just patted his shoulder. “Jealousy’s a hell of a drug, son.”

Jamie grumbled under his breath before heading toward the physio room, where Y/N was waiting.

She turned when he entered, arms crossed. “You know you’re an idiot, right?”

Jamie sighed, rubbing his face. “Yeah, yeah.”

Y/N softened. “Why’d you let him get to you?”

Jamie hesitated. “…Dunno.”

She stepped closer, placing a hand on his arm. “Jamie.”

He exhaled. “Just—don’t like the idea of someone takin’ you away, yeah?”

Y/N blinked.

Then—softly, with a teasing smile she said. “You do realize I’m not a football transfer, right?”

Jamie rolled his eyes. “Obviously.”

She smirked. “So you don’t own me?”

Jamie groaned. “Fucking hell.”

Y/N laughed. “Fuck, you really are an idiot.”

Jamie leaned in, his lips brushing her ear. “Yeah, but I’m your idiot boss, so watch out.”

She flushed. “Shut up.”

He smirked. “Make me.”

She rolled her eyes. “You wish... Still not jealous, though?”

Jamie groaned again, dragging a hand down his face. “Well, now I hate you.”

She grinned. “No, you don’t.”

Jamie just pulled her closer into a tight hug.

Maybe he was the jealous type.

And maybe—just maybe—he didn’t mind, because he loves her...

[samanthacastano02]

Felix - Perfect

Felix x FemReader 

Trigger warnings: Abuse (Physical and verbal abuse from Hyunjin), fighting, tooth-rotting fluff, inaccurate medical terminology, Felix being a sweetheart and most supportive person ever, starts off as Hyunjin x FemReader ends as Felix x FemReader, mentions of break up, insecurity, probably more (This is fictional and not how I believe Hyunjin or any of the members would ever act towards someone they love)

Word Count: 10.1K

Summary: You had been dating Hyunjin for almost two years when he had asked you to join him at an event for Versace. You were excited to join him but also nervous because this would be the first time that you would be going to an event like this. You get into a fight, a fight that opens your eyes about your relationship with Hyunjin, so you leave. You call Felix for help and he becomes your rock and safe place during everything. 

Photos are not mine, Credits go to photographers

I had been dating Hyunjin for close to two years, he was my first serious relationship and I didn’t know how I was supposed to be treated. I thought that the way he was treating me was the way someone who loved you treated you, not realizing that wasn’t the case. 

Present:

I loved Hyunjin with everything that I had, and when he said that he was finally ready to announce our relationship to the public I was over the moon because it had been a year and a half of secret dates, secret outings and hiding it from everyone including his other members. I didn’t think much of it because he was an idol and maybe he wanted to keep this part of his life separate for some time so that it was his rather than something that he had to share with everyone. I didn’t enjoy having to sneak around but I did it for him because I loved him and I didn’t want to ruin my chances with him just because of the fact that he wanted to keep the relationship secret. When the boys finally met me, they welcomed me with open arms and treated me as if I had been friends with them the entire time. The only person who seemed to be a little standoffish and hesitant to be friends was Felix, he was always nice and held conversations when required but he always seemed to isolate himself when Hyunjin and I were hanging out with the boys together. I could never pinpoint why he acted this way, but also didn’t question it because Hyunjin never liked it when I spent one on one time with any of the boys, even Chan who saw me as an annoying younger sister.

It was a few weeks before Hyunjin had to go to Milan’s fashion week, as Versace’s ambassador. I knew that he was excited to go because it was all that he could talk about, and the preparations for it had been taking up most of his time, leaving me to busy myself with work and different things around the apartment that we shared. I was beyond proud of him because he had worked so hard for this and he deserved to have this moment. I didn’t want to bring him down by mentioning the fact that I missed him. When he came home late, I didn’t question him, when he came home smelling of different perfume I didn’t question him because I assumed that it had something to do with the fashion week and if he wanted me to know he would tell me. It was a little before midnight when he finally came home tonight, looking worn out and ready to take a very long nap. 

“Hi lovie, how were your meetings? Everything almost ready for Milan Fashion Week?” I ask, as I follow him into the bedroom, crawling into bed while I wait for him to change and go through his skin care routine. 

“They were good, longer than I thought they would be. I also managed to secure another ticket and want you to be my plus one.” he says finally coming back into the bedroom.

“You want me to come with? Are you sure?” “Of course, I want to share this part of my life with you.” He says, if I wasn’t as tired as I was I would have noticed the hint of annoyance in his voice. 

“I’d love to join you, but I don’t have anything that I could wear.” “Love, I have an appointment set for you to get a dress from the Versace store here in town.” “Hyunjinnie, that’s so expensive though.”

“If you are going with me, you need to represent Versace along with me” He grumbles out, sliding further down into the bed.

“I can’t even afford something small from there, let alone a dress. Jinnie, I don’t want you to spend that much money on me.” “If it’s that big of a deal I’m sure we can get it as a loaner dress and when we get back from the event we can bring it back to the store. Now can we please go to bed, it’s been a long day and I’m tired.”

“Right, of course. Sleep well Jinnie.” I lean over, gently kissing his cheek. 

It was only a few days later that I was walking into the Versace store and feeling very much out of my element. I wasn’t used to this high end of a store, so trying to figure out where I needed to go and what all I needed in order to get the dress. Thankfully the attendants were super sweet and understanding about the fact that this was the first event I was ever going to of this caliber and gave me tips to help not be as nervous. With the dress finally picked out, they assured me that it would be sent to Milan and be waiting for me in the hotel room when I got there, I didn’t have to worry about it at all. I was extremely thankful for that, it was one less thing that I needed to worry about. 

With Milan Fashion Week quickly approaching, Hyunjin seemed to be around the house even less than he was before. I didn’t want to think too much of it but it was hard when I barely received a text from him letting me know if he was even going to be home that night or if he was going to be spending it at the dorms with Changbin. My only saving grace was being able to talk to Han. Han had become a close friend of mine even though Hyunjin didn’t know. There was nothing going on between us, and there never would, but Han could tell when I was anxious and knew that I needed someone on my side that wasn’t Hyunjin. Because as he put it, Hyunjin hadn’t been doing very good at his boyfriend duties and was being neglectful of how I was feeling and of my anxiety. We had bonded over the fact that we both deal with anxiety and don’t always want to tell someone else in the fear of becoming a burden to them. I had received a text from Hyunjin early today that he wouldn’t be home tonight, he would be staying with Changbin since they all had an early morning. I tried to not be upset about it but I still couldn’t stop the tears from falling. I knew that if I didn’t talk to someone I would send myself into a panic, so I did the only thing I could think of and called Han, hoping that he would come over and keep me company. When I called, he picked up on the second ring, a cute habit of his.

“Hannie, Jinnie is staying with Changbin tonight and I really don’t want to be alone tonight. I’m too much in my head, can you please come over?” I almost begged the poor man. 

“Y/nnie, calm down please. Of course I’ll come over, how could I ever turn down a hangout session with my favorite person?”

“Han, my dear dear friend. We both know that I am not your favorite person, Minho is your favorite person.” “Ok, correction. Second favorite person, because yeah, if we’re honest he’s my favorite.”

“Glad to see where I stand in your life Hannie.” “Girl, do you want me to come over or not?”

“Yes! Please!” “I’ll be over soon then, will you make up the spare room for me? We both know that I won’t have the energy to go home and we also know that Minho Hyung won’t be coming to get me.” “Yes, I’ll make up the spare room for you.”

He doesn’t even say goodbye, just hangs up the phone. I know that he lives close by, all of the boys do, which confused me on why Hyunjin wouldn’t take the extra five or so minutes to come back to the apartment. But I won’t question him on it because all that’ll do is lead to a fight. The movie night with Han was something that was very much needed, and when he had to leave the next morning the apartment felt so much more lifeless. I knew that if Hyunjin knew Han was here, he’d be upset but I also didn’t want to be alone so I risked him being upset. 

Later that night:

When Hyunjin came home that night from practice, I could tell that he was agitated. He barely spoke to me and when he did his answers were short and snappy, I didn’t want to pry but I also wanted to help him if I was able to. It was too late when I realized that I had forgotten to make up the bed after washing the sheets, after Han spent the night. I knew that the moment Hyunjin saw that, he would ask questions and there was no way that I would be able to give him a reasonable explanation without revealing the full truth to him. 

“Hey, y/n. Why are the sheets not on the bed in the guest bedroom?” Hyunjin called out to me from the hallway while I was in the kitchen making dinner for the two of us. 

“Huh? Oh I was washing them, they were dusty.” “Y/n, you know not to lie to me. Now tell me why you are actually washing them.” “Fine. Han was over last night, by the time our movie ended it was too late for him to drive home and we weren’t about to wake the beast who is Minho.”

“You know I don’t like when you spend time with them one on one.” He angrily stomps over to me, I expect him to just corner me but instead he grabs me by my pony tail, pulling me away from the stove where I was cooking.

“Ahh, Hyunjin. That hurts. Stop.” I try to pry his hand out of my hair but it doesn’t work. 

“You went against what I asked. You know I don’t like you being alone with the guys, I don’t want them getting too close.” He gets in my face, pulling my head back so that I am forced to look at him.

“I-I’m sorry Hyunjin, it won't happen again.” “It better not, or the next time I won’t go easy on you.” He growls out, shoving my head away, causing me to fall into the stove. I try to catch myself but end up grabbing onto the hot pan, burning my hand. The contents in the pan fling out and land all over me, burning my skin through my clothes.

“O-oh god. Y/n I’m so sorry. I’m sorry, are you ok?” Hyunjin’s whole personality changes when he notices what had just occurred.

“I-I’m ok. I-I just need to get myself cleaned up and check the burns and make sure that I don’t need to go to the hospital.” I respond after taking a couple deep breaths. 

“Y-you think that you might need to go to the hospital?”

“For my hand possibly.”

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to.”

“Jinnie, I just need to have a few minutes to myself.” “I’m really sorry Jagi.” He tries to hug me, but I shrink back from him, I can see the regret in his eyes. 

I’m unable to respond, instead holding my hand to my chest as I walk into our bedroom. When I look at my hand I can tell that I have second degree burns and will need to go to the ER. I don’t have a car and I don’t want to ask Hyunjin. I know he feels bad, but I don’t want him to go to the ER with me because it means that they might ask questions and I can’t answer those right now. The only person I can think of to call right now to come and get me is Chan, I know he’ll ask questions but not until everything is figured out. I just need to figure out how to tell Hyunjin that I want to go by myself. I think the best way is to just straight up say that I want to go alone, and that I will let him know when I am coming home. I call Chan knowing that he’ll help, he picks up after the first ring. Only issue was that it wasn’t Chan who answered, it was Felix.

“Y/n? Chan left his phone here, he ran to the store. Do you need something?” “I um, never mind.” I was going to tell him but decided not to. 

“I know that I’m not Chan and we don’t normally talk but if you need someone to talk to, I’m here.” “I was just hoping that he could take me to the hospital.”

“The hospital! Are you ok?”

“I burnt my hand while cooking, and it’s bad enough that I need medical attention.” “I don’t know when he’ll be back, but I can come get you and take you. Why can’t Hyunjin take you though?” “He’s wiped from practice, and I don’t want to make things worse for him. It’s ok Felix, I’ll figure out a way to get to the hospital.” “Nonsense, I’ll come get you. No questions asked.”

Thankfully, I am able to convince Hyunjin to let me go by myself. I tell him a white lie and tell him that it’s Chan picking me up, not Felix. I know if he knew that it was Felix, he would never let me leave. Felix must have known better than to come up to the door, instead texting that he was here and letting me come down to the car. When I get to the hospital, he waits in the car, not wanting to cause even more trouble for me. I can see the concern in his eyes when I walk out of the ER and he sees the bandage on my hand, thankfully the doctor seemed to buy my excuse that I fell and burnt my hand that way. The doctor let me know that the bandages could come off before the fashion show, so the dress that I got would still work. I know Felix is worried but he doesn’t press the issue, but I know that whatever friendship or whatever we had has changed between us. 

Fashion Week:

The week before Hyunjin and I left for Milan, my bandages were able to come off. I knew that he felt bad, he had never gotten physical with me before and the logical part of me knew that I should have left him but the emotional part of me said that he’d never do it again. Ever since he’s been super sweet and caring, spending every night at the apartment with me, being at my every beck and call. 

The first night that we were in Milan, he took me out to dinner and treated me as if I was his whole world. He apologized every morning and night for what happened, I believe that he’s sorry and I believe that he won't do it again. He loves me and I love him, I know that we’ll be able to make things work, I know he won’t let it happen again. 

The night that we have the event, I am afraid that I’ll embarrass him because I won’t look as good as I should for him. I tried to make sure that my outfit matched his outfit, but it still seemed off. He seemed to be off the entire day while we were getting ready, he seemed short with me, almost annoyed that I was having to go with him. I didn’t want him to feel like he had to take me with him, I didn’t want to embarrass him or make this event even harder for him. Before I knew it, we were having to finish getting ready and leave soon. 

“Jinnie, do you think my dress looks ok? Does it match your outfit well enough?” I ask as I apply the finishing touches to my makeup.

“Yes, you look fine. We need to go if we don’t want to show up late.” He grumbled annoyed.

“I’m almost ready, I just need to apply lipstick and then I’ll be ready.” “Just hurry up.” 

“Ok, I’m ready lovie.” 

“Ew, don’t call me that.” he side eyes me, seemingly disgusted.

“Oh, I-I’m sorry. In the past you never cared.” “Just, try not to talk too much tonight.”

I didn’t know how to respond to that, so instead I just rushed to catch up with him and head to the venue where the show would be held and then the after party. Much to my horror when Hyunjin and I arrived at the venue, I was ushered away from him, told that I would be sitting separately from him and that I would have to find him after the show. When he invited me I thought that we would be seated together for all of the events but I couldn’t have been more wrong. When I looked to him for support, to ask him if I really had to sit alone without him, the glare that he leveled me with was one that I could never have imagined I would get from him. 

“Y/n, just sit where they tell you, stop trying to make a big deal out of nothing.” “Hyunjin, it’s a big deal to me. I’m in a country that I don’t know, at an event filled with people that I don’t know. I was under the assumption that I would be with you tonight, not sat away from you.”

“Stop it, stop whining about not getting to sit with me. You’re a big girl, put on your big girl pants and deal with sitting alone. Do not embarrass me tonight, I need tonight to go well.” “I’m not trying to embarrass you Hyunjin, but would it be so hard to ask them if we could get seats together? I don’t see why we can’t?” “Stop asking, they already have the seating arrangements set. I will see you at the after party, in the meantime try not to embarrass me.”

“Hyunjin-” I begin but he cuts me off with a glare, one that sends a cold chill down my spine. It reminds me of that night, for once I know to listen to my gut. 

With him being sat away from me, I know that he’ll be more focused on the show rather than worrying about me. With how he looked at me tonight, I know that I need to leave because it wasn’t a one time incident and him hurting me was bound to happen again. I found my seat, in the back of the open showroom, which thankfully gave me the opportunity to order myself an uber and get myself back to the hotel. I didn’t know where I was going to go when I got back to Soule because technically the apartment that I lived in wasn’t mine, it was one rented by Hyunjin that he had gotten for the both of us because he wanted us to live together. I knew that I shouldn’t have given up my apartment but I was so in love with him that I thought he was my forever and that I wouldn’t need it anymore. 

When my uber arrived, I quickly and quietly snuck out of the venue and as soon as it was clear I ran to the uber. The uber driver gives me a questioning look but I don’t offer up any explanation and instead book a plane ticket home, I want to be gone to the airport by the time Hyunjin comes back to the hotel. I’d prefer to be on a plane back but I also know that isn’t reasonable and is wishful thinking. I know that me leaving the event like I did can cause a scandal for Hyunjin but I can’t stay and let this relationship get even more toxic, it took me this long to realize the only reason he was even being this sweet to me after the whole incident was so that I would come with him when it came time to go to the event. He had said that he was going to have a date and he didn’t want to seem dateless when the time came around. 

I panicked when I got to the hotel, packing up everything that I had brought with me and bought the earliest ticket home. Not caring which airline it was with, what section of the plane it was in and what time I would be getting back, I just knew that I needed to be gone before he got back otherwise I could actually be in serious danger. I didn’t want to worry Chan by off-loading all of my issues onto him, but I also had nowhere to stay. I didn’t know what to do, I had never been in this situation before. I did the only thing that I could think of, I called Felix, surprisingly he picked up after the first ring. 

“Y/n? Are you ok?”

“No, I’m not. I’m flying back to Soule tonight but I need someone to pick me up from the airport. And then for that someone to help me find a hotel.” “Aren’t you supposed to be in Milan with Hyunjin for another week?” “It’s a lot to explain, I promise I can explain it all later but will you please pick me up?”

“Yeah of course, that shouldn’t have even been a question. I know we don’t talk much but I’ll always be here for you if you need me.” “Thank you Felix, you are a lifesaver right now. Now I just need to figure out a living situation.” “Don’t worry about that, you can stay with Seungmin and I or with Chan and I.N.” “Are you sure? I really don’t want to impose on anyone and I don’t want to cause any problems between the group and Hyunjin.”

“We all know how to be professional, whatever happened between you and Hyunjin is between the two of you. If you want us to know, then we will but if you don’t then we won't.” “Thank you, for being so understanding about all of this.”

“Of course, text me your flight details and I’ll be there to pick you up, ok?” “Ok, again thank you Felix.”

With everything set, I know that Felix and the rest of the boys will help me in any way that they can, I really don’t want to come between them and Hyunjin but I can’t help it if they decide to do this on their own. I don’t even want to think about what will happen when Hyunjin realizes that I’m no longer at the event, hell even in the country. 

The next morning:

The flight back to Soule gave me the chance to think through things and figure out what I needed to do. I didn’t want to take advantage of the boys but I also couldn’t afford to stay at a hotel for very long, and finding a new place to live would be difficult, especially with the fact that I don’t make that much at my current job. I always wanted to find another job but Hyunjin never wanted me to because I only worked with women. The more I look back on our relationship, the more I realize that it was actually extremely unhealthy and the only reason that he even introduced me to the guys is because Chan accidentally caught us on a date, and when he had asked who I was I had answered before Hyunjin could. Hyunjin never had the intention of telling the guys about our relationship, his hand was forced in the whole matter. 

When I finally landed I called Felix, figuring out where he was in the airport but before I could even ask, I felt a tap on my shoulder and when I turned around he was there. He was there, with a soft smile, looking like the sunshine person that everyone always describes him as. I didn’t think I would feel as much relief as I did when I saw him, but I could feel the tears forming and I didn’t know if I would be able to stop them before they fell. Felix didn’t give me the chance to, he gently pulled me into a hug. I didn’t know how badly I needed that hug until I was wrapping my arms around his waist, sobbing quietly into his chest. He tightened his arms around me, not letting go until he felt my arms drop from around him. 

“Are you ready to head out?” Felix asks, taking my backpack from me.

“Yes, but I need to go to the apartment. I need to get my stuff out, I don’t want to risk trying to get it at a later date and then he be there.”

“Ok, I’ll take you. I’ll help you pack up your stuff, will you tell me what happened? Why you left Milan so suddenly?”

“Y-yes, I’ll tell you in the car. If that’s ok?”

“Of course that’s ok.”

We head to baggage claim and grab my suitcase, I try to take it from Felix after he had pulled it off for me but he doesn’t let me. He doesn’t let me carry my backpack and he won’t let me drag my suitcase, he kindly forces me to walk next to him. When Hyunjin and I came, he had people who were carrying his stuff, he didn’t even offer to carry my stuff. The more I look at Felix, the more I focus on him, the more I notice these little differences between the two men. A guilty part of me wonders why I couldn’t have met Felix first. When I had first met Hyunjin, he was so sweet and caring, we had shared an art class together and had bonded over the fact that we both loved art. The first year of our relationship was perfect, but after we had moved in together and he realized that I more than likely wouldn’t go anywhere, his whole demeanor and personality changed. No longer was he the sweet and caring guy, but an angry and anxious man who ended up taking those feelings out on me more often than not. No matter how hard I tried to be good for him, he always found a reason to be upset with me. It wasn’t until the cooking incident that he had gotten physical with me, but he was very verbally abusive towards me and would be passive aggressive towards me like he was last night. When we got to the car, I went to open my own door but before I could Felix was there, pulling it open for me, giving me a hand in case I needed help lowering myself into his car. Once I was in, he quickly rushed around to the other side, getting in himself and before I knew it, we were starting the drive back to the apartment that I once shared with Hyunjin.

“Are you ok, to tell me what happened? Why you came back so soon?” “Yes, just promise that you’ll wait until I finish explaining?”

“Of course, take your time.”

“Thank you, seriously.” “Any time y/n, any time.” “It wasn’t a cooking incident.”

“What wasn’t?”

“How I burned my hand, I didn’t burn it because I slipped. I did burn it while cooking but slipping was not the reason why.”

“Ok?”

“Hyunjin had come home angry that night, I don’t remember why exactly. I don’t remember if something had gone wrong at the studio or if I had said something but we started arguing, and I expected him to corner me like he normally did. But he grabbed my hair, yanking it back. He was super angry and it scared me, I tried to pry him off but he wouldn’t let go. Finally he got tired of arguing and he shoved me, but it happened to be in the direction of the stove. I tried to catch myself but I ended up grabbing the pan I had been using and it tipped over, spilling on me. That’s why I had such a bad burn on my hand, and burns on other parts of my body.” When I finished with that part, I could tell that Felix was angry but he did his best to contain the anger. 

“Y/n, is this the first time that he was physical with you?” “Yes, it was. He had been verbally abusive for the better part of six months but I had rose colored glasses on.”

“Did he hurt you again? Is that why you came back early?”

“Not physically, he failed to mention that during the fashion show I wouldn’t be seated with him. And when I had asked if we could try to get me to sit next to him, he told me that I was being difficult and that I was embarrassing him. He told me to sit where I was told to and that he would see me at the after party.” “He seriously did that? Just left you to sit by yourself?”

“Yep, said that I was a big girl and could handle sitting by myself for the length of the show. When I tried to argue with him about it, he leveled me with a glare that actually scared me, made me nervous to even wait to see him during the after party.” “I don’t want to speak badly of him but it seems like you made the right choice in leaving, after what you told me, the whole situation seems like a bad situation.” “I think things could have gone very differently if I stayed, he knows by now that I’m gone. I’m honestly surprised that I didn’t get any texts from him after the show asking where I was. But maybe he was too preoccupied to even worry about where I was.” “Y/n, that is wrong on so many levels. If my date wasn’t sat with me at an event and then I couldn’t find her after, I would be losing my mind until I found her. Has he even texted you, asking where you are when he saw that you weren’t at the hotel and that your stuff was gone?” “Umm, I think he’s texted me like once.” “What did the text say, if you don’t mind me asking?” “Just wondering where I was, when I was coming back. It’s like he didn’t even realize that my stuff was gone.” “I’m so sorry that you have to go through this y/n, you don’t deserve it.” “It’s ok Felix, none of this is your fault. You have nothing to be sorry for.” “But I actually do. I was the one who pushed him to go to that art class, I was the one who pushed him to ask you out when he was too nervous to do so.” “Lixie, you had no way of knowing that any of this would have happened.” It’s not until he doesn’t respond that I realize what I had just called him. “Oh my god, Felix. I am so sorry. The nickname just kind of slipped out.” “Y/n, it’s ok. It just caught me off guard, I don’t mind if you call me that. Coming from you, I actually kind of like it.” “I’ll keep that in mind.”

The rest of the drive to the apartment is silent, both of us thinking but also just enjoying the music. As I look out the window, I can’t help but think about how different my life is from what I thought it was going to be just a few days ago. As I think about it, this is the first time in a long time that I’m not nervous about going back to the apartment. The realization that it’s because Hyunjin won’t be there hits me, I didn’t realize how much he scared me until I took that leap to end things with him, to leave him. The thought also hits me that I haven’t actually officially ended my relationship with him, I’m technically still his girlfriend until I officially end things. Just because I ran doesn’t mean he’ll take that as I’m breaking up with him. I can’t do it in person, I won’t be able to handle it, I’m too nervous about what he might try if I did do it in person. 

I’m too into my head to realize that we had arrived at the apartment until Felix is calling out my name, trying to get my attention. I don’t know what to think of all of this, and I think that Felix is able to tell that. He doesn’t try to rush me into going inside, instead he just sits there, a supportive spirit until I’m ready to go inside. 

“Ok, I think that I’m ready.” “Take your time.” “Thank you Felix, I truly do not know what I would have done without your help.” “I want to warn you, Seungmin and Chan are on their way to help. They don’t know why, they won’t know why unless you tell them.”

“Felix…”

“I just wanted to make sure that we are able to get all of your stuff. The more hands the better. When I called, I told them to help, no questions asked. What information they get is up to you.” “You promise they won’t ask any questions?” “I promise, and if they for some reason do. Send them to me.”

“Ok.”

We both get out of the car, I try to open my own door again but he rushes around opening it before I get the chance. He has a steady hand on my lower back, walking with me up to the apartment. When we get up to the apartment, I hesitate almost as if I’m not ready to take this step, ready to say goodbye to this part of my life. 

“We don’t have to do this tonight if you aren’t ready.”

“No, no. I need to do this, I can’t risk Hyunjin being home.”

“Do you want me to open the door?” “Do you mind?” “Not at all.”

He takes the key from my hand, unlocking the door and pushing it open. I never realized how lifeless and cold the apartment always felt. There were no personal touches from myself in the living room, Hyunjin always insisted that his interior decor taste was better than mine and that I could decorate the bedroom. That didn’t leave me much to do anyways, I think now it had more to do with when the guys initially came over, he didn’t want them to realize he had a girlfriend. Most of my belongings were in the bedroom anyways, everything else I owned from my old apartment was in a storage unit that Hyunjin didn’t know about, he thought that I had sold whatever couldn’t fit into the bedroom on my side. 

Soon Chan and Seungmin arrive, ready to help in whatever way they could. They didn’t ask any questions, which I was extremely thankful for. I really didn’t want to have to tell the whole story twice, I knew they had their questions but I didn’t know how to tell them. I knew that if I gave Felix the ok, he would tell them. 

“Felix, come here real quick. Please?” “Yeah. What’s up?” He stops folding some of the shirts I had left hung up in the closet.

“I know that Chan and Seungmin have questions. I can’t go through the story again, but if they are helping they deserve to know why. You can tell them.” “Are you sure?” “Yes.”

“Alright, I’ll let them know.”

He walks away after giving me a soft smile, I go back into the bedroom and continue to put my clothes into my suitcases. I can hear Felix explaining the whole situation to them, they don’t ask any questions until he is finished explaining everything. I try to zone out what they are saying, not wanting to think about everything that has happened, again. I’m so in my head that I don’t hear anyone enter the bedroom, so when I feel arms wrap around me I jump in both parts shock and fear. When I turn around I see that it’s Chan, he has a sad look on his face and seeing that look makes me break out into tears. He wraps me in his arms, and with his support I know that with whatever happens I’ll be ok. I know that I not only have Felix on my side but I also have Chan, and maybe Seungmin but he hasn’t actually said anything. Before I can ask where Seungmin is, I hear a small knock on my door, when Chan and I turn we both see that Seungmin is standing there looking sheepish. I wave him over, he slowly walks over. I can tell that he’s hesitant to do anything so I make the decision for him and give him a quick hug, he eagerly returns the hug. 

Back at Felix and Seungmin’s Dorm:

With the help of the three boys, we were able to pack up everything that I could think of that I owned that was in that apartment. I didn’t know why they brought me here after I insisted that they take me to a hotel. Felix refused, saying that they weren’t going to let me stay at a hotel. They would rather I stay at the dorms with them where they knew I was safe and wouldn’t have to worry about me confronting Hyunjin alone should he come looking for me. 

I had no idea where I would be sleeping while I stayed with them, since there were only two rooms, meaning there were only two beds. When I got there, trying to figure out where to put my stuff went surprisingly better than I thought because Felix just carried it all into his room, taking away the question of where I would sleep. I didn’t want to kick him out of his own bed but he insisted that I take his bed, he’d either take the couch or find a blow up mattress of sorts. 

“Felix, I really don’t want to kick you out of your bed.” “Nonsense, you wouldn’t be kicking me out. Especially since I offered.” “Felix, I can just sleep on the couch. It’s fine.” “Nonsense. You are not sleeping on the couch.”

Seungmin walks into the room carrying a sleeping mattress for Felix. He doesn’t say anything as he hands it over, I can tell that he’s tired and ready to go to bed himself. Felix bids Seungmin goodnight before turning back towards me. I can tell that Felix is also tired but he wants to make sure that I am comfortable before going to bed himself. 

“Felix, I know you have the mattress. But where will you be sleeping?” “I was just planning on sleeping in the living room.” “I can’t kick you out of your bed and your room. And if I’m being honest I’d be more comfortable with you in the room. I don’t think that Hyunjin will be back anytime soon but a part of me is scared that he will be and I don’t want to be trapped in a room by myself.” “Y/n, you don’t owe an explanation. Of course I can stay in here on the floor. I want you to be as comfortable as possible while you are staying here, ok?” “Ok, again thank you Felix. I know that this is a lot to ask of you.” “It’s never too much to ask of me, I’d gladly help you.”

I can’t think of anything to say to him so I just walk up to him, instead giving him a hug. He immediately hugs me back, wrapping his arms tightly around me and pushing my head into him, trying his best to bring me comfort. Whenever I was upset, Hyunjin always made it seem like it was a burden to comfort me, to be there for me but here’s Felix, someone who barely knows me, who’s doing everything he can to make sure that I am comforted and supported even when he doesn’t need to. 

Two Weeks Later:

I had been living with Felix and Seungmin now for two weeks. Hyunjin was supposed to be coming back within the next few days. I was scared that he was going to be angry, but I had barely heard anything from him while he was away and if I’m being honest that scared me even more. I didn’t know what he was thinking, how he was feeling, or if he would try anything when he saw that all of my things were out of the apartment. 

I was trying to take a nap, when I realized that I had left one very important thing at the apartment that I once shared with Hyunjin. It was small and might seem insignificant to others but to me it was irreplaceable because it was given to me by a family member that was no longer living. I knew that I needed to get it but all of the boys were busy and I didn’t want to bother them. I didn’t think that Hyunjin would be back until tomorrow or the next day at least. 

When I got there, I could tell that I was wrong, Hyunjin had come home early. I knew that I should have turned around and waited until either Seugnmin, Chan or Felix were available to come with me to get the stuffed animal but I was impatient and didn’t want to wait. I slowly pushed open the front door, finding Hyunjin bent over the kitchen counter reading the breakup note that I had left for him. I could tell by the way that his posture stiffened that he realized what it was and what had happened. When he heard the front door close softly he whipped around, the glare and anger in his eyes made my heart drop. I tried to turn around and leave but before I could, he was grabbing me by the hair and dragging me further into the apartment.

Hyunjin angrily threw me onto the couch, I tried to catch myself but wasn’t able to and ended up falling onto the floor. I tried to scramble away from him but he was on top of me before I could, his hands around my neck choking me. 

“Hyunjin, stop. I can’t breathe.” I gasped the best I could with his hands on my neck.

“You think that you get to embarrass me by leaving with no explanation, and then break up with me?”

“Hyunjin, you're hurting me.” “Shut up, just shut up. You don’t get to decide when we are done, only I get to decide.” I try to fight against him but he still has the upper hand on me.

“Hyune. You are hurting me, I can’t breathe.” “Do you really think that I care about that right now?” “I-I’m sorry. I’ll come back, I’ll move back. Just please stop.” I whisper out, struggling. Tears fall from my eyes now, black dots crowd the corners of my vision.

“No, no you don’t get to come back on your word. I never want to see you again. Do I make myself clear, if I see you again I can’t guarantee that I won’t end your life. You useless whore.” He spits at me, spitting in my face in the process. 

He pulls his hands away from my neck, getting off of me. As soon as he’s off of me, I scramble away from him, scared that if I don’t he will go back on his word and try to kill me again. It’s almost like a light switched in him when he notices that I already have bruises forming on my neck. He tries to get closer to me but I scramble back even further from him. I can see the remorse and guilt in his eyes, I can tell that he wants to say something but doesn’t know what to say. He looks disgusted in himself, by what he just did. 

“Oh god. Oh god, what did I do?” He almost seems to ask himself.

“Y-you need help.” I cough out “Y-you’re right I do. Y/n, I am begging you, please call the cops. I don’t want to accidentally hurt you again. God I nearly killed you just now.” I don’t question him and rush for my phone, calling the police. 

When everything is done, the police ask if I want to press charges against Hyunjin but I don’t. I know that he’s sick, he wouldn’t have had me call the police on him if he wasn’t. They decide that he needs to be monitored for a while, get onto meds that will help with these different episodes that he’s been having. As they wheel him out on the stretcher to take him to the hospital, he has them stop so that he can express his remorse one last time. When he’s gone the police officer asks if there is anyone that they can call for me, the first person that I can think of was Felix. I didn’t even hesitate when I gave them his contact information, I knew that I needed his support. I wouldn’t be ok until he was here with me, throughout the last two weeks he has been my rock, my safe place. I won’t feel safe until Felix is here with me, protecting me. The officer waits with me until Felix bursts through the doors, when he sees me and my current state he rushes over to me, pulling me into him. When the officer confirms that Felix is who he says he is, he leaves. 

“Why didn’t you call me? I would have come with you.” Felix grabs my face gently, wiping my tears.

“I didn’t think that he would be home, he was supposed to come back tomorrow.” “That doesn’t matter. No matter what y/n I would have always gone with you.” “I-I’m sorry. I didn’t want to bother you, or the others.” “I beg you, bother me. I don’t want to get a call from the police like that ever again.” “I-I’m sorry, can we just go home now?”

“Of course.”

Felix helps me down to his car, making sure I’m comfortably in the car before he rushes around to the other side and gets in himself. The drive to his dorm is silent, music playing in the background. It’s like neither of us know what to say to the other, I truly didn’t mean to scare him and I didn’t think Hyunjin would be back this soon but I now can see how that was poor thinking with everything that had happened. 

When we get to the apartment, I’m tired and just want to nap. I can tell that Felix is still worried about me and I don’t want to cause him even more worry. He walks with me into his bedroom, ready to make sure that I can settle comfortably into the bed before he goes out into the living room. When I lie down, I realize that I don’t want to be alone, before Felix can leave I grab onto his hand. 

“Is everything ok?” Felix questions, looking down at where I’m holding his hand.

“C-can you stay, just until I fall asleep? C-can you please h-hold me?”

“O-of course.” He almost hesitates but still motions for me to move over, I comply.

He climbs into the bed next to me, pulling me into him. I burrow my face into his neck, letting myself find comfort in his warmth, in his presence that has been a saving grace these last two weeks. He buries his face into my hair, pulling me into him even more, almost as if he needed this just as much as I did. Neither of us said anything, instead basicking in the comfort that we brought each other. I expected him to leave after I fell asleep but when I woke up a short while later, he was still there, holding me just as tight as when we fell asleep. I didn’t say or do anything, instead deciding to go back to sleep. 

Six Months Later:

Much to my dismay and argument, Felix and Seungmin wouldn’t let me look for a new place to live. Insisting that the current living arrangement worked just fine, that there didn’t need to be any changes. Anytime that I tried to bring up the subject of moving out, they would find a way to change the subject and would act like it never happened. I didn’t want to keep freeloading off of them, I felt bad, feeling like I was using them. They constantly claimed that I wasn’t using them, that the fact that I would cook and clean for them, because let's face it, anytime these two tried to cook it was always a disaster, was enough for them. 

To my surprise, a month ago Felix had invited me as his plus one to a Louis Vuitton event that he had to go to. I said yes, but I was super hesitant and nervous to go especially after what had happened the last time I had to go to an event like this. He promised me that it wouldn’t be like that this time, that he would be by my side the entire time. The second reason I was hesitant to go was because over the last six months of living with him and Seungmin, I had grown to like Felix and his sunshine personality. He kept his own emotions under check so well that I honestly couldn’t tell whether or not he felt the same, and I couldn’t just outright ask him. 

Hyunjin had come back a month ago, he had been diagnosed with Bi-polar disorder. At first things had been extremely awkward within the group after they had heard about what happened, they needed to know since he was going to have to go on hiatus. I thought that when he came back I wouldn’t be ok being around him but when the others were around I was actually ok, I could handle seeing him. He knew that the relationship that we had was over, and he was ok with that. I think on a subconscious level he could see the relationship forming between Felix and I, and he knew that it would be a better fit than him and I. He was a silent supporter of whatever was happening between Felix and I. 

To make me feel more comfortable about going with him to the event, Felix took me shopping for a new dress. One by the brand that he was an ambassador for, he wanted me to get the dress first so that his stylists could match his outfit to it. He had thought this whole night out so well that I couldn’t even argue that it was going to be fun, and the dress was absolutely stunning. It was a white floor length gown with a vee neck cut, and when I saw how Felix matched himself to it, I couldn’t help but feel special. He made sure that I felt included and felt like this was important that I felt comfortable with him at all times at the event. 

Night of Event: 

When we arrived at the event, I expected Felix to usher me off to the side so that he could do the photo-ops but instead he gave me a questioning look, almost as if asking if it was ok to be photographed with me. When I nodded to him that I was ok, he pulled me into him and stood in front of the cameras. I could tell that he was in his element and he was happy, happy to be here and happy to have me here with him. I smiled for the cameras, glad that he didn’t want me off to the side, rather right next to him. The more he made sure I was ok, the more I fell for him. I wasn’t sure how much longer I would be able to keep my feelings for him a secret. 

When we got inside the event, he kept his hand on my waist, keeping me close to him. I was glad to have him there as a solid rock for me, if I had to be put into this situation again I wanted the memory to be a good one and not one like what had happened before. Everytime we stopped to talk to someone, he would look down at me smiling softly before continuing the conversation. I could feel my heart beating wildly in my chest, I couldn’t help the blush that was rising up my cheeks. If he noticed he didn’t say anything, rather he just pulled me into him even more as he talked to whoever had caught his attention at that moment. When they started announcing that the fashion show would start soon, I got nervous and scared that I would have to sit away from him but he tightened his grip on my waist and led me to the front row chairs that he had been assigned. 

I thought that we would go to the after party when the show ended but he instead led me outside and down the steps towards the beach that he had seen me eyeing since we arrived. I was glad to be alone and away from prying eyes, even if it was just for a little while. I didn’t pay attention to the way that Felix looked at me, rather focusing on the ocean and the feel of the sand between my toes and the water flowing over my feet. I could feel Felix come stand next to me, if I had turned to look at him I would have noticed that he wasn’t looking out at the ocean but rather at me, with a look of pure love and adoration. 

“Felix.” I say softly as I turn towards him.

“Hmm.” “I-I need to tell you something.” “What is it? You can tell me anything.” I look at him, taking a deep breath before I continue. 

“I love you. I know it hasn’t been that long since Hyunjin but you have been my rock and safe place through it all and I honestly don’t know what I would have done without your support.” “Y/n, I love you too. I didn’t want to push you or make you uncomfortable so I always kept it to myself. Even before you dated Hyunjin.” “We really are fools in love.” I say looking at him.

“Yes, yes we are.” He grabs my waist, pulling me into him. I can feel his hands grab my face gently. He looks into my eyes. 

“F-felix, c-can you k-kiss me?”

“I thought you’d never ask.” He says softly while leaning into me. 

When Felix presses his lips onto mine, it’s not like what the movies describe. The hundreds of fireworks, or anything like that. The feeling of his lips on mine is like coming home on a cold night to a warm home, the perfect temp of hot cocoa, everything bright and sunny. It felt perfect, and I never wanted to stop. His hands moved from my face to in my hair and on my waist, pulling me into him even more. My arms wrapped around his neck as he deepened the kiss, I never wanted this feeling to end but I knew that both of us needed air and one of us had to pull away and I honestly don’t think that Felix was going to. 

“That was the best kiss I have ever had.” Felix mumbled, pressing his lips to mine again in a short kiss.

“It was perfect.” “We should probably head back, before they send out a search party.” He jokes as he grabs my hand. Slowly leading me back to the steps up to the building where the after party was held. 

As we walked hand in hand into the after party, I couldn’t keep the grin off my face and honestly neither could Felix. When one of his friends that I didn’t know walked up to us, I expected him to pull his hand away but instead he tightened his grip and found a way to include me into the conversation. When his friend asked who I was, I expected Felix to say that I was just a friend, something that Hyunjin would have done but instead he looked down at me and smiled before responding that I was his girlfriend. I knew Felix was different, but every time he proves it and it still surprises me. 

Epilogue:

I knew that at some point we would have to tell the other boys that we were dating but both Felix and I agreed that we wanted to keep it to ourselves just for a little while longer. He still insisted that I live with him and Seungmin and I finally relented but my only stipulation was that he no longer slept on the floor but rather in the bed with me. He agreed without any hesitation, claiming that he could get unlimited cuddles from now on, but I think we both knew that his back was killing him from sleeping on the floor for so long. 

We decided that we would tell the boys at one of their dance practices, later down the road when we were able to come up with a way to tell them that wouldn’t upset Hyunjin. But until then, we just focused on each other and the comfort that we got from each other. 

I knew that Felix had an early morning, he knew that he had an early morning but neither of us wanted to let the other go when we heard his alarm going off. He planted kisses all over my face before coming down to my lips, I could get high off of his kisses. He gently pushed me onto my back, placing himself above me as he continued to kiss me. I knew that this was headed into dangerous territory and if it didn’t stop soon he would be late to practice. 

“Lixie, you have to get ready for practice.”

“Come with me.” “What?” “Come with me to practice. I don’t want to hide, I want to openly love you.” “A-are you sure? Seungmin is the only one who knows and you know how he reacted.” “I’m sure, I want the others to know. Hell, I want the world to know that you are my girlfriend.” “You want to announce our relationship not only to the boys but also to Stay?” “Yes, I want to share my love for you with them.” “If you are sure, then so am I. I know that as long as I am with you, I’ll be ok.” “Then it’s settled, we’ll tell the boys and then I’ll speak with the media team to come up with a way to announce our relationship to Stay.”

“Sounds perfect.” I kissed him again.

He kissed me back with just as much fervor, I knew that he was going to be late today. Or at least that’s what I thought until the door burst open and Seungmin rushed in, hand over his eyes as he blindly reached for Felix. I could feel Felix being tugged off of me, I let out a small laugh at the sight of my poor boyfriend getting dragged away by his younger roommate. 

“Sorry y/nnie, just following Channie Hyungs orders.” “It’s fine Minnie, I’m coming with you guys anyways.” “You are?” “Yes, Felix wants to tell the boys and Stay about our relationship.” “Sweet!.”

Seeing the excitement in Seungmin’s eyes at the prospect of Felix and I’s relationship not only becoming public but also being announced to the boys, gave me hope that everything in the long run would be ok. The look that Felix gave me, also told me that everything in the long run would be ok. 

[crowsofdarkness]

Time: Chapter Seven

-gif not mine. credit to owner.-

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Content Warnings: fluff, angst, language, violence, and mentions of death.

Summary: Your relationship with Bucky could withstand anything, even time itself.

Authors Note: This series will have twenty one chapters, some of which will be short and quick, and takes place throughout the forties. I did my best to line up the days along with Captain America: The First Avenger. Tags are open if anyone is interested!

Tags: @that-blonde-girl @bookofriverr @starfly-nicole @ell0ra-br3kk3r @baw1066

Time Masterlist

March 4, 1942. 3:00 pm.

The bottom of my skirt blew in the wind as I rushed down the sidewalk, passing people by with a quick apology. My shift at the diner lasted longer than I would have liked and I was supposed to meet Steve at the theater twenty minutes ago. 

“Sorry!” I yelled while pushing through a young couple. 

Steve and I had planned on hanging out, the two of us, because even though he hadn't said anything I knew it was bothering him that Bucky and I hadn't seen him in awhile. I worried that he thought I had returned to my promise because I was late. 

Bucky was more than okay with Steve and me hanging out without him. We were friends before Bucky came into the picture, which is why he never got upset with us hanging out. There was also something Bucky had to do today, but he wouldn’t tell me what. 

The last few weeks he had been acting strange and I could tell he was hiding something from me. He wouldn’t allow me to be in his bedroom alone, afraid that I would find whatever he was keeping in there. 

Immediately my mind thought of a beautiful diamond that he could be hiding but I brushed away those thoughts. We had been dating for less than a year. There was no way he would propose. 

Right? 

“Y/N!” 

My feet came to a sudden halt when I saw the small man leaning against the brick of the building behind him. 

“I’m so sorry I’m late. I came straight from work,” I motioned to my work uniform. 

Steve waved me off. “It’s alright, the movie hasn’t even started yet.” 

Linking our arms together, I let Steve lead us into the theater while mentioning that he had already bought the tickets for us. It was a trash movie that we knew not many people would be here to see but that was the kind of movie we loved. Ones that we can laugh at and talk about days later. 

“Have you heard from Buck?” Steve asked. 

We were waiting in line for popcorn and I shook my head. “He said he was going to stop by the diner for lunch but he never showed up.” 

Steve padded my arm. “Don’t look too much into it/, Y/N. Buck’s not that kind of guy.” 

He knew that my mind was racing with thoughts of Bucky with other women. 

“I know but he’s been so distant lately.” 

“Maybe after the movie we’ll swing by his place and see what’s up with him,” Steve suggested with a shrug. 

I nodded and after we ordered our snacks, we continued to walk arm in arm towards the dark theater. We both were surprised that it was somewhat packed but we were able to find a spot in the middle row. 

Everything passed by great while waiting for the show to start but when a man a few rows in front of us started yelling and throwing things at the screen, I knew that the peace had vanished. There was a clip playing about the current war going on overseas and I could feel Steve tense up next to me. 

He sighed before leaning forward towards the guy. “Hey, you want to show some respect.” 

The guy ignored Steve so I gently patted his knee, telling him to let it go. 

“It’s not worth it, Steve.” 

The man wasn’t what had pissed Steve off, it was the fact that no matter how many times he tried to enlist, the government continued to deny Steve. Bucky and I both knew that it was slowly eating away at Steve that he wasn’t able to enlist. My mind was swirling with worry that Bucky would get his orders to fight. I hadn’t stopped to think of how Steve had been feeling with being told no over and over again. 

The man in front of us continued to hurl words, loudly, towards the screen. Steve couldn’t take it any longer, anger radiated off of him. 

“Hey, you want to shut up!” He yelled. 

My body tensed when I saw the man in front of us, twice the size of Steve, stand up and look directly at us. Worried eyes bounced from Steve to the man a few times and before I could part my lips, they were making their way out of the theater. My hushed protests fell on Steve’s deaf ears. 

“One of these days, that poor boy is going to get himself killed,” I sighed while gathering my things and hurriedly followed him. 

His signature catchphrase of whenever he fought bullies, ‘I can do this all day’ bounced around in my mind. 

By the time I reached outside, the chilly air causing my skin to rise, I knew I was too late in stopping the fight. The sounds of flesh on flesh, metal cans falling to the hard pavement lead me to the alley behind the theater. 

The sight in front of me caused my jaw to drop, mouth catching whatever bugs were flying around. Steve was dusting himself off while the man from the theater lay on the ground, blood pooling from his nose. That wasn’t what made my feet come to a sudden halt; it was the man dressed in the army uniform. 

“Bucky?” 

He turned on his heels and with his bright eyed smile, he reached for my hand. “Where have ya been, doll?” 

I ignored his question and motioned to the uniform. “Did you get your orders?” 

Bucky heard the shakiness in my voice so he hesitantly nodded. “The 107th. Sergeant James Barnes, shipping out for London first thing tomorrow.”

I nearly choked on my own saliva at his announcement. 

“Tomorrow?!” 

My echo jumped off the concrete walls of the alley. 

Buky nodded with a soft sigh. “I know, sweetheart. I thought we would have more time but I spent the last few days getting everything in order with my ma so we could have my last night together; with Steve.” 

I couldn’t help but giggle in my sad state at the thought of once again, Steve third wheeling our dates. 

“Don’t feel like you have to include me,” Steve interjerked which caused Bucky to shake his head. 

“I want to spend my last night in New York with my favorite people,” He looked between Steve and I. “You two need to get cleaned up.” 

“Where are we going?” I questioned. 

Bucky handed me a newspaper that read World Exposition of Tomorrow. He was one of the biggest science nerds we knew so it didn't surprise me that this is what he wanted to spend his last night doing. 

No matter how bad my heart was hurting, not knowing how long he would be gone for or even if he would return, I plastered my best fake smile and nodded. 

“Pick me up at my apartment around six?” 

Bucky twirled me into his arms, his soft lips finding their home against my own. The kiss was slow and passionate but quick when Steve sighed with uncomfortableness. 

“Wear your best dancing shoes, doll.” 

I smirked before molding into his body once more, pressing our lips together again. “Always do, Buck.”