#but i also know i have to work towards . something. anything

[plaidcowboy]

༘˚⋆𐙚｡𖦹✧ rafe getting you a souvenir in morocco

✿ ۪⋆

content: wants to get the best for you. what he would do to get it..

author stamp: he was on a mission out there

“yeah, i’m safe. just got something i need to take care of right now” rafe responded to your question over the phone while shrugging on the coat he just bought. you were aware rafe was going off somewhere to handle something important when he informed you while also letting you know you could stay at his place until he got back. you knew he would be safe and didn’t have to worry, but either way you still called here and there to check up on him. how was it going? was it nice in morocco? you wanted to make sure you were using correct measurements while cooking. wanted to make sure it was okay for you to work on his laundry and that you possibly maybe accidentally shrunk one of his button ups. but you knew not to call too often because rafe would need to focus on completing what he went to morocco for.

“okay, great! i won’t bother you again for the rest of the day, but i just wanted to let you know i didn’t shrink anything of yours this time!” rafe chuckled, glancing at his surroundings. where off to next? he wondered to himself while you were babbling on about what you did differently to the machine when he spotted a stand where jewelry was being sold, a man behind it speaking to a customer. “that’s great, baby, good job. hey, what’s that metal you said you really liked for jewelry?”

you told him which was your favorite, not bothering to ask why, still giddy over rafe telling you, you did a good job. rafe knew that was your favorite, he’s seen it with the dainty necklaces you wear, but he wanted to make sure, wanted to make sure he was doing this right. only the best for you, and if you don’t have it, it just hasn’t been made yet.

“right, right. hey um, let me talk to you later, and don’t think i’m fine with you saying you bother me. i don’t like those words against yourself, and definitely not with me.”

you frowned behind the phone. “sorry rafe” you mumbled over the line. it sounded like you made him upset. you didn’t mean to..

“���s okay, don’t let me hear that again.” you nodded quickly, forgetting he can’t see you through the phone. rafe, knowing you, knew you were nodding. “can i hear your words?”

“yes, i won’t say it again.” he watched the current customer at the stand walk away. “that’s what i wanna hear. i have to go now, call me whenever you please.”

you smiled at the reassurance. “okay rafe.”

he let you go, making his way over to the plethora of jewelry. his eyes skimmed over a few options, but nothing yet seeming just right for you. “uh..” he glanced up at the man. “this all you got?”

the man’s friendly smile dissipated. “excuse me?”

“hey, i’m not trying to insinuate anything. there’s something i gotta get. just let me know if this isn’t worth it.”

the man startled with wide eyes. “no, no. there is more back here” he discreetly tilted his head behind him towards a little opening.

rafe raised his eyebrow, assessing the opening and the man. he stalked toward him. “okay. but before i go in, i’m just letting you know, if you’re pulling some stuff, i can have this little stand shut down in a second.” he grinned at the now seemingly nervous man. “but until then..” he turned, walking into the opening. “show me what you got.”

he noticed the sets of jewelry lying about that seemed better quality than the ones on the stand. rafe chuckled to himself, seeing the man’s tactic.

he skimmed his thumb over his jaw in thought, picking up some pieces, putting them down, glancing at the man, knowing he wouldn’t dare pull anything. he looked back to a necklace that hung from a rack, grabbing it and pulling it closer to his vision.

“for a pretty lady, yes?”

rafe slowly turned. “what did you just say?”

the man hesitated. “the necklace? is it..for someone special?” rafe furrowed his brows. “yeah, it is. only dealing with you right now for her.”

the seller nervously chuckled. “they can be a bit demanding, huh?”

rafe lowered the necklace, giving the man the opportunity to stop while he was ahead. “not this one. i don’t know what you’ve got going on behind closed doors, and i couldn’t care less. now, how much for this?” rafe wanted to let it go. he had things to take care of.

the man, now more confident than he should be, approached rafe. “trust me, it’s all the same. tell me, is she..” rafe pulled the man by the collar of his shirt, halting whatever it was he thought he could say about you.

“are you kidding me? what makes you think you can say anything about my girl?” rafe frowned at the man in disgust.

“oh, i’m sorry” the man held up his hands. “here, i’ll let you take it, no charge” he hesitantly smiled.

rafe raised his brow. “oh i wasn’t going to give you anything. you’re not even in business.”

the man frowned in confusion. “what..?”

letting the man go, rafe pocketed your necklace, walking out of the opening. he glanced at the small sign that displayed open on the stand.

“hm” he flipped it around to closed. walking over to a nearby guard, he got his attention, throwing a nervous look over his shoulder toward the stand. “hey man, i just got propositioned to mess up business with these other stands by the man that runs that one.” the guard turned, looking to the seller that was now stepping out of the opening.

“yeah, him. he offered me like.. a load of cash. i don’t know what he’s on about.”

rafe watched the guard grab the attention of two others standing near him, and they made their way over to the seller, one seizing him by his arms, and the others packing away his stand.

rafe dropped the distressed look, feeling for the necklace in his pocket. only the best for you.

[pshbites]

NA JAEMIN AS YOUR BOYFRIEND

pairing : bf!jaemin x gf!reader genre : est relationship, pure fluff warnings : petnames, crying, kissing, and not proofread synopsis : headcannons that bf!jaemin would do wc : 1k a/n : anotha nct fic we cheer also yes this is another one for lizzie pookie bear i larb u. also i tagged some moots who i know r seasonies so sorry for any unwanted tags!

if u enjoyed pls like & reblog, feedback is also always appreciated!!

texting you for no reason. jaemin loves telling you everything. whether it be miniscule or important, it didn’t matter because you would know. some days he would text you while you’re at work and tell you what he’s currently doing. sometimes it’s sweet things like “saw a flower and i thought of you” or sometimes it’s just the most random things like how many red cars he saw that day (it was 5). he always tells you and you reciprocate his excitement with each detail. each text rant always ends in him confessing his everlasting love for you like he always does and of course, you reciprocate it in the exact way he said it to you.

jaem: i miss you

jaem: my baby precious yn i always love you

jaem: can’t wait to have dinner with you tonight, are you excited

jaem: i’m making your favorite princess

jaem: where are you :((((

jaem: maybe you’re driving to the office :/

jaem: drive safe baby love you

you: i miss you more

you: i was driving :) but im now in the parking lot of the office

you: and of course i’m excited for dinner baby

you: my jaem i love you so much more than words can express

you: see you tonight <33

jaem: see you princess <3333

putting you first. there would be times where the two of you would be out and about with your group of friends. jaemin would be talking to them and enjoying his time but he looks towards you and you just aren’t feeling it anymore. right then and there jaemin would decide to leave and call it a night because you aren’t enjoying yourself. he always prioritizes you over himself and some problems come with that but most of the time you know he’s doing it out of the kindness of his heart. 

leaving traces of you around his apartment. the two of you don't share an apartment so sometimes you sleepover at jaemins apartment or hang out there. since you already spend so much time there, you leave behind things. it started out small like a hair tie or a jacket but then it started becoming your slippers or a set of your pajamas. once jaemin started to notice, he cleared out a drawer for you and set all your items in there. partially he did it so you didn’t rummage through his things to find your own but at the same time he did it because it felt that a piece of you was still there when you weren’t. because of this he started collecting your things in that drawer but would always display some trinkets or stuffed animals you left on his bed. he also developed a love for stuffed animals because you adored them so much so he began buying them to put on his bed so you would be more at home. his first priority is to always make you comfortable.

buying anything that reminds him of you. your bedside counter was filled with random trinkets jaemin bought for you simply because it looked like you. you weren’t sure how a peacock with a white scarf resembled you but jaemin did know. he saw you in every detail of his life so if something reminded him of you he would buy it without question and give it to you that very day. in your collection you had all sorts of things and sometimes it was a hassle to arrange them all while cleaning but you never complained because how could you complain to that sweet face. 

always having you in arms reach. when you and jaemin were in public with your other friends he always had you close to you, not for any possessive reason but because he always craved your touch. he always had to be touching you in anyway possible, whether that be your hand intertwined with his or his hand on your thigh or anything. he always wanted to be close to you because it grounded him, it wasn’t like you minded either. you loved how clingy he gets when you aren’t right next to him, it was cute. while having you in arms reach he draws circles on you, or writes his name on that spot over and over, engraving it in your soul. he loves seeing you try and ignore it but failing miserably.

kisses when you least expect it. most of the time jaemin always kissed your cheek before you left his apartment or left a date to go somewhere, but sometimes he would catch you off guard and kiss your lips. in these moments you felt jaemins tender love the most, his lips always touched yours with the utmost affection he could give. his hand would rest on your hip before he pulls back and smiles, saying goodbye. clearly he didn’t know what effect he had on you because the rest of the day you would lightly graze your lips, smiling at the thought of him. 

laughing along to your contagious laughter. something about your laugh does it for jaemin, it doesn’t matter if the joke you told wasn’t entirely funny but hearing your laughter is like a sweet melody, he starts to smile and laugh along with you. he loves these moments with you because he sees a sparkle in your eyes, making him smile so sweetly at you before he begins to laugh along. to jaemin anytime you smiled or laughed, it was the happiest moment. he adored hearing your cute laugh even after a lame jake.

your smallest achievements are his greatest achievements. it could be as simple as “i walked ten thousand steps today” and he’s throwing a party all for that. to jaemin any small feat of yours is a great accomplishment for him because he wants to celebrate you for as long as you let him. he always wants to be the person who make the biggest deal out of the smallest things because he knows how good you feel about yourself because of that. a simple “im so proud of you my princess” goes such a long way for you.

kissing away the tears. crying in front of jaemin was something that rarely happened because of what a great boyfriend he was. but sometimes life got hard for whatever reason and you need a good cry, in times like those jaemin kisses those tears off your face. he hates seeing you cry because a part of him breaks no matter what, it hurts him more than it does you but he’ll never say that. so instead he’ll sweetly hold your face, kissing those tears away softly. “it’ll be okay my baby, i promise” he tells you, trying to reassure you and it works like a charm everytime.

taglist : @cupidhoons @leeechin @chobunz @fatalhoon @junislqve @tzyunaes @ourhees @geutori @hyuckworld @lqfiles @haedgaf @ronniee-26 @fairqves

dream taglist

© all rights to pshbites 2024. please do not copy, translate or repost my works

[meetmypointlessaddiction]

let me chase your demons away | l.howlett

First post of the New Year, hoping to write bigger and better things this year :)

Summary: Logan struggles to sleep... but not when you're around

Warnings: nightmares and panic attacks

Pairings: leaning more towards a fem!reader

Enjoy and please like and comment if you do. Something as simple as an emoji literally makes my day better so please don't hesitate to comment and obviously reblog to share my work.

Requests are also open if there is anything that people want me to write 💛

Logan had struggled with nightmares for as long as he could remember. Up until now, there had never been anything that could prevent the neverending terror loop his brain played on a night. Up until you.

You hadn’t been at the school long, Charles had invited you to come and teach English to some of the younger students, but Logan could tell there was something about you, something about your scent that made him relax. Your sleeping habits were just as messed up as his meaning that, whenever you both found yourself unable to sleep, you would both end up on the couch in the mansion’s living room, watching shitty movies to try and tempt you both to sleep. More often than not, it worked for Logan but little did you know that it wasn’t the mind numbing films or the peaceful silence, it was your company. 

For weeks, Logan would simply allow himself to fall asleep on the sofa beside you and it was the best night’s sleep he would have all week. He would ensure there was a good amount of distance between the two of you, not confident enough that he wouldn’t have a nightmare and go all Wolverine on you. You would wait until he fell asleep and then arrange his legs and neck comfortably on the couch, laying the thick blanket over him and then heading off to bed. 

When you were out on a mission or away from the mansion on a long period of time, Logan would have many nightmares. Nightmares meant a sleep deprived Logan and a sleep deprived Logan meant suffering for everyone else in the mansion. One night in particular, snow was falling heavily when Logan went to sleep and you were out of town, visiting some friends in a nearby village meaning a nightmare was 100% guaranteed. Snow was hard enough for Logan to manage, reminding him of Stryker and the physical and mental toll he went through. 

He woke with a start, his chest heaving and feeling tight, dripping sweat and struggling to concentrate on taking deep breaths. He didn’t know why it occurred to him but for some reason his first instinct was to call you so that’s what he did, not even considering the late hour, knowing that you were more than likely awake. 

In the next village over, your phone buzzing interrupted the conversation you and your friends were having over a bottle of wine. “Who’s calling you at this time?” Your friend, Georgia, asked with a smirk. 

“You got a secret boyfriend, you’re hiding from us?” Faith nudged you with a cheeky grin but you just gave them a half smile, standing and excusing yourself to take the call. 

“Logan? Has something happened?” You asked down the phone, alarmed by the heavy breathing and almost whimpers you could hear. 

“I-I think I’m havin’ a heart attack bub.” He said and you knew from then what was wrong. Since when does the Wolverine have heart attacks?

“Logan, you’re having a panic attack honey. You need to take deep breaths, sit yourself down and stop pacing, okay? Are you sat?” You asked and heard the creak of a bedframe as the man grumbled an affirmative. “Alright, in through your nose and out through your mouth. It’ll pass, Logan, I promise.” 

After a couple of minutes, his breathing began to even out the amount of noise he was making reduced. “I… sorry for interrupting your evenin’.” He ended the call quickly and you were left standing in the hall of your friends house, confused. Why did he call you out of everyone?

~~~~~~~~~~

A few days later, upon your return from your friend's house, Logan pulled you aside with a stern look on his face. “What happened the other night, didn't. Understand? Forget it.” 

You look at him, confused and slightly insulted. “What? You think I’m going to tell someone or something? You think I think of you any less because of it?” Your protest seemed to throw Logan off guard and he looked at you with wide eyes and his mouth slightly agape. “I don’t know who you think I am, Logan but that’s not the type of person I am.” 

~~~~~~~~~~

For the next few nights, Logan didn’t go downstairs to sit with you on the couch and watch shitty films, didn’t allow himself to bask in the comfort your company gave him. Instead, he suffered on minimal sleep and caffeine, causing headaches for everyone around him and snapping at every minor inconvenience in his life. 

Eventually, you grew tired of it and grabbed him by his forearm just as he was about to head to bed, dragging him towards the couch. “Everyone’s tired of your shit, Logan. Sit on the damn couch, watch a movie with me and sleep.” You demanded, pushing him to his side of the couch and putting the blanket over him before plopping yourself down at your side, closer than the pair of you would normally sit. Logan resisted for as long as he could but pure exhaustion gave him no other choice than to relax and sleep. His eyes fell shut and within minutes he was asleep, snoring and drool coming from his mouth. However, instead of going off to bed like you normally would, you rested your head against his shoulder and let yourself doze off. 

When the students and teachers of the school began waking up and racing downstairs to fight for the tv, they all fell silent at the sight of the notoriously grumpy Wolverine cuddled up with the cute English teacher, his face pressed into your hair as he spooned you, deep snores emanating for the man. Storm and Jean ushered the children out of the living room, telling them to leave the pair of you to rest for a little while longer while Scott immediately found a camera to take a photo to tease Logan with as soon as he woke up.

Dividers: @coolcatsgraphics

I'm also on A03 :)

[naamahdarling]

I agree. I've been thinking about this so much, and I'm so frustrated with it, because there's a point at which I have to concede that when it comes to some things, there is no answer that lives up to my ideals.

I also think the rejection of the word "reform" in favor of "abolition" is partly due to how we have seen efforts to "reform" things go absolutely nowhere but to the bank with taxpayer money to cut a fat check to police departments that they use for "training" and body cams that then do fuckall. If that's reform, I want to kill that, too.

I am in favor of making prison as we know it (a locus of abuse and injustice that is in no way oriented towards helping anyone at all, as well as a source of legal slave labor) go away. Forever. So I have asked people the prison abolition questions. I have never gotten an answer beyond "we will support victims and with the measures we want to put into place there will be fewer offenders." Good. Okay. I want that, for sure. You have my full support. I get lost when I run into "That's a distraction." It isn't. I'm not saying we refuse to work on this until every bit of it is hammered out. I'm saying it very much is something we will need to grapple with, and it's actually a major thing because how we handle extreme cases of ANYTHING is THE purest form of principles.

It isn't a gotcha to say "if you do not have a plan for non-lethally dealing with people like Jeffrey Dahmer, because people like that exist and will continue to do so, you do not have a fully realized plan, you have some really good ideas that I already support."

"I don't know, we are working on that, it's an issue, we have a lot of ground to cover before then, and some of that ground will undoubtedly point us at some of those answers" is kind of where I fall, and it is a lot more honest than what I usually get, which is "Well, YOU need to imagine what that looks like, what do YOU think? This is for YOU, and all of us, to come up with. But don't ask about extreme outliers, that just shows you support the status quo and want alternatives to fail."

That isn't an answer that goes anywhere. Because I have thought about it extensively. And my answer is "putting them someplace pleasant that they can't leave, where they can't ever hurt anyone, and caring for them, all the while watching them like a hawk for the rest of their lives, because they simply cannot be allowed what we would call true freedom".

No community I know of is capable of managing someone like that while allowing them to go free, nor should the burden of that risk be placed on any community. I wouldn't consent to having someone like that living in my community, and one dissenting vote should be enough to keep them out, shouldn't it? And if they just cut and run, well. The next community maybe won't even know they're there until they do something that could have been prevented. Whose community in the first place? The one where they offended? Because that's...that's actually not okay. Which one, if there were several?

Outliers exist and have to be considered, because if you don't, you wind up with vigilante justice out of self-defense, or a string of inexcusable, monstrous acts continuing unopposed until the person dies, but the victims, or whoever is left who loved them, at least get "support."

I don't want to say "I support reform" because my god does that ever sound lukewarm at best. But I don't have a plan for the parts of abolition that don't already overlap with reform.

I want a word for "reform" that means "we are incredibly pissed off and we do intend to tear this apart beyond the point of recognition and make something new" but that can't happen in one stroke. At the very least, there are going to be long transitional periods while we restructure shit and get people used to the new ways of doing things.

I don't like all my answers, but I haven't been presented with anything better. I want to be. But some people get really pissed when I genuinely ask them to please show me a better way that I can actually believe in.

The other reason I'm generally annoyed with the "Abolish X" crowd who actually DO mean "abolish X" and not a watered-down version is that ime they very rarely have fully thought out the implications of what they're demanding and then get angry when other people ask about it.

"Family abolition means completely removing legal ties for family units and allowing all children the choice of where they live" okay. So if I see a three-year-old throwing a fit because she doesn't want to leave the park, and I go over and tell her if she comes home with me she can stay as long as she likes and then we'll get McDonald's on the way home, that three-year-old should have the ability to make that decision? The parent or guardian has no legal recourse to stop me from taking her? Cause if the answer's no, that's not abolition, that's reform baby!

"I'm done talking about what we'll do with rapists and murderers after we abolish prisons, it's all anybody ever wants to talk about!" Well yeah man! 98% of people just interpreted your words as "we're going to let murderers roam around killing people at will"! You need to explain very clearly what plans you have that will stop them that aren't incarceration or you're not going to make any headway! And if your answer involves any form of "well of course SOME people can't be allowed total freedom" - that's not abolition, that's reform baby!

I'm not even gonna touch the number of people who think we should abolish the police and replace them with what are essentially roaming squads of vigilantes dispensing "community justice", whatever the fuck that means.

Like these aren't "gotcha" questions, they're legitimate problems you're going to have to contend with. And if you wave away all these questions with "you're just making up ridiculous scenarios" and "we'll think of something to fix that once we destroy the current system", then yeah actually, I DO think you care more about sounding radical than about making any kind of change.

[jester-lover]

Hello! Would it be alright if u were to request the twst first years with a super affectionate reader? For example, always wanting to hold hands or link arms with them? Have a good day!

Hello! I hope you have a great day too, so this was really late, I apologize.

Affectionate s/o

feat/ the first years

CWs/ gn! Reader, fluff, shyness

Ace

Huh? Why are you so insistent on gripping onto him?

Ace’s ego is definitely boosted, seeing as you seemingly can’t get enough of him. He’s painfully smug at the notion of his partner clinging to him.

Despite his ego, he's really happy to be with someone affectionate. I mean, he's a really affectionate guy himself, so it’s lovely for him to get some reciprocation.

You two are the annoying PDA couple in public places sometimes, and yes, he gets collared for it on the regular. He’s like 16; he’s shameless.

Deuce

The complete opposite of Ace. He’s so charmed by you, but also so not ready to be gushed over the way you gush over him.

Deuce is clumsy with his affection; he might hug you too tightly or practically slam his face into yours for a hug. He gets so embarrassed about messing up too.

PDA is minimal in your relationship, as he tends to prefer sharing your affections in private. However, he is also a 16-year-old boy and gets a little jealous when you’re affectionate with others, so he’ll be more outwardly affectionate with you when you’re amongst friends.

Really loves the little forms of affection, like when you put your head on his shoulder and he puts his head against yours. Moments like that make him feel like he’s the hero in an old movie.

Jack

Ignore his tail swishing side to side every time he kisses you, please.

Jack definitely acts more embarrassed by your affectionate ways, but he adores it just as much as the others do. His arms wrap around yours just as fast as yours wrap around his.

He’s a hugger, through and through. Even when he’s all sweaty after a run or track practice, he just loves feeling you in his arms; it grounds him.

He might be more reserved, but he’s committed to you, and he wouldn’t change you for anything. 

Epel

While he’s not as reserved as some of the other guys here, Epel feels like he has a reputation to uphold as a big manly man, so he tries his best to be all uncaring toward his affectionate partner. This clearly doesn’t work out, because he’s a big softie deep down.

He’ll link his arm with yours while you walk around campus because he likes knowing you’re there, even subconsciously. 

He’ll definitely try to pick you up when you hug him.

Sebek

He freaks out, like considerably. 

Sebek is sensitive, you know! You can't just be all friendly and gentle with him; he can't handle it!

The way he turns red is kind of concerning, but also very endearing. His hands reach out to grasp yours, but his eyes stay as far away as possible.

Sebek especially likes linking pinkies with you on long walks, something intimate, yet still respectful enough in the public eye.

[awriterinthenight]

"And How Would You Like to Kiss a Smart Guy?"-Fred Weasley

requested: no

words: 1840

warnings: Molly complaining about the twins, reader is a Gryffindor and Sirius' daughter, also implied that reader is shorter to Fred

summary: When Molly complains about the twins, you defend then, especially Fred, leading to Sirius having old memories of Lily and James.

You could hear Molly Weasley yelling about something in the kitchen as you approached the door. Recently you, Harry, Hermione, and all the Weasley kids had been living in 12 Grimmauld Place, which is technically your family's house. Your dad had been hiding out there, and you had started living with him to make up for all the time lost while he was in Azkaban.

Grimmauld Place was starting to become your home and even feel like it. Ever since your Hogwarts letter came, the school has only ever felt like your real home. Many of your friendships were made there, your relationships all started there, and almost every happy memory was made at Hogwarts.

It was the place where you met Ron and Hermione on the train to Hogwarts. Then when you got sorted into Gryffindor you met Oliver Wood who was the Quidditch captain, and you became quick friends with him, due to you and Harry being on the team so young. It was also the place where you met the Weasley twins.

Ron had told you all about his oldest brother Bill, who now worked all the way in Egypt, and his other older brother Charlie who was a dragon tamer in Romania. Then he complained about how uptight Percy was. When he got to the twins it was a mix of funny stories and some humiliating ones for Ron.

"Oy, you're going to talk her ear off if you keep telling her about us," a voice yelled out. It was Fred Weasley. He was making his way over to where you and Ron were talking in the common room.

"Yeah, you're also not even telling her the truth," the other twin said, following behind Fred.

Fred came up behind you in the chair you were sitting in, wrapping his arm around your shoulders, bending down a bit so that he could whisper something to you, "We're a lot funnier than that, and way better at pranks than he's making it out to be."

"Uh huh," you said, acting skeptical, "If you say so."

Him and George looked hurt at your words.

"If you say so," George yelled loudly, clutching his chest, "Do you hear this blasphemy?" he said to Fred.

Fred removed his arm from around your shoulders, "Oh, I do, and believe me I cannot stand for this. We didn't get detention for a month to be insulted like this. Now did we?"

You rolled your eyes, as Ron looked bored from having seen this act before, "Don't you two have anything better to do than bother some first years?"

"Well when you insult a man's pranks, one feels rather hurt," Fred said, continuing his dramatic act.

You looked him up and down before you said, "What man? All I see are two cocky gits."

They looked even more insulted, but once again Fred spoke first, "And she's got a sharp tongue. It seems we have our work cut out for us."

"That we do, dear brother," George said to his twin.

"You know what I think we need to do?"

"Of course I do, now off we go," George said before walking away with his twin in tow. That moment was the reason for the twins' further actions towards you. Wherever you went the twins would always do some prank near you to make you laugh. Fred started to take pride in knowing one of his jokes made you laugh, even if it was barely a chuckle or a smile.

The boys did everything they could to get you to crack. Slowly it became their favorite past time, especially for one twin. During 4th year something started to shift in how Fred saw you. You were no longer just his little brother's friend, but you were his too. Except he started to wish you were more.

He watched you get prettier over the years, to the point he caught himself staring a couple of times. Fred loved the banter between the two of you, you always had some sort of retort to everything. You still called his pranks "silly" or sometimes "immature" but that was only when it went wrong. He still did his dramatic act everything you said that, but now it was because he just liked having your attention all on him.

Fred's crush on you wasn't entirely unrequited though. You started to fall for him too. You didn't know if it was because of his charm, or the banter that was the closest you would get to flirting, or even just the way he looked. He was always looking down at you, having to lean in a little closer to hear you since he was so tall.

Being at Grimmauld Place was no different to being at Hogwarts with the way the twins, especially Fred, acted. They still pulled pranks and Fred still had his banter with you. Which was exactly what Mrs. Weasley was yelling and complaining about.

You'd walk in to make tea and grab a biscuit when you heard, "And they're always up to something. I can't with those two, one of these days they are going to have to grow out of these pranks and jokes," Molly complained, while cleaning the table.

"Hey, me and James were the same way, and look how we turned out," Sirius said, but Molly just gave him a look, "Alright, maybe not the best example, but look at Remus. He was part of our pranks, and he ended up teaching at Hogwarts."

Remus had now butted into the conversation, "I did end up having to leave due to my furry little problem, though I did enjoy some of their mischief, Molly," he defended, taking a sip of his tea.

"They don't even study. How will they get anywhere if they don't focus on school. For once I wish they would focus on their classes instead of some dumb prank or useless product," Molly continued on.

You'd been at the counter, letting your tea bag sit in your tea, as you listened to Molly rant. At some point you let out an eye roll and huff that did not go unnoticed. Your dad and uncle seemed to pick up on your small gestures.

"You seem to have some thoughts on this matter, why don't you share them with us," Sirius teased, sitting at the dinner table, leaning back in his chair.

You shrugged, annoyed you were being put on the spot, "I have nothing to say really."

"Oh come on, you go to school with them, you must have something to say," Remus interjected, picking up on what Sirius was doing.

Before you could respond, Molly spoke up before you, "It's alright dear, I know everyone is probably annoyed by their childish pranks."

You rolled your eyes again, this time deciding to defend the twins, "They're actually not that childish. They're pretty impressive if anything."

"Oh really? And what makes you say that?" Remus questioned, leaning against the counter.

"They've pulled off really complicated charms before actually," you started, "And they're both really smart, especially Fred. I once watched him pull off a charm during my first year, that not even seventh years could pull off. Whenever they come up with some new product Fred always shows it to me and explains it, and its always bloody genius. I don't think I've seen him come up with an idea that hasn't worked. I think if he did try to study he could be top of his class, especially in charms. He could probably give Hermione a run for her money if he cared enough. I don't see why everyone demeans his pranks so often. He's a bit of a genius when it comes to them," you explained, not realizing when your defense for the twins turned into you rambling on about how smart Fred was.

You turned around to face the three adults who all had a smile on their face, yet also seemed a bit shocked. Sirius started to massage his temples, quietly repeating "not again, not again," which you didn't understand why. While Mrs. Weasley had a knowing smile as she continued cleaning, not saying a word. Finally you turned to Remus, who was shaking his head at Sirius.

"What?" you exclaimed, confused as to why they were acting like this, "What's wrong with him? Why does he keep repeating that?" you asked Remus.

Remus took in a long deep breath before saying, "Because, about 17, maybe 18 years ago, Lily Potter said the same words, unknowingly might I add, about Harry's father all those years ago," he explained.

It took you a moment to connect the dots, but once you did you were quick to react, "Shut it."

"She said the same thing too," Remus teased, as you walked out of the kitchen.

***

Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, Fred had heard everything you said. He thought they were talking about something for The Order, but he ended up catching your conversation. He was over the moon to find out you thought of him like that, and he knew the next time he talked to you he would tease you about it for forever.

***

The next time Fred saw you, you were walking back to your room upstairs when he stopped you.

"What do you want, Weasley?" you asked, knowing he probably had some prank to show you, or a new product.

"I think you mean genius actually," he teased.

It took you a moment to understand what he meant, but once you did you felt a bit embarrassed, "So you heard all of that?"

He nodded his head, "Oh, I heard all of it. How I'm a genius, and my "silly" pranks are actually really impressive, and how you think I'm super smart," he teased, while having the biggest smile on his face.

You shrugged, "And so what if I do?"

Your confidence threw him off a bit, but he went with it. He was silent for a moment before he spoke, "Well, do you like smart guys," he asked, trying to shoot his shot.

"Maybe," you replied, inching closer to him without realizing it.

"That's not an answer, love," he said, the name rolling off his tongue as if it was completely normal.

"Yes, I do," you admitted.

Fred's smile got even wider at your confession, "Good" he said, "And how would you like to kiss a smart guy?"

You shrugged, "I don't know, who is this supposed smart guy?"

"I heard he's quite the genius," Fred said, closer to you now than he was before.

You considered it for a moment, "Then yes, yes I do."

"Even better," Fred said, before connecting his lips with yours. Your hands went around his neck, one of them tangling in his hair. Fred's hands wrapped around your waist, pulling you close. You both had waited so long for this moment, that it was unbelievable that it finally happened. You didn't know what was next, but you enjoyed the moment between you.

Current Taglist (ask to be added or removed

@almost-gabrielle @scarlett-8 @sarahskywalker-amidala @atashiboba @that1deerpersondownstairs @herondale-lightworm @purplerose291 @mitskiswift99 @crumby-child @rafslytherin @shanksvskidd @yerrmar @oceangirl15

[fairytaleendingss]

Room for One More?

Chapter 9

Summary: Secrets are revealed on New Years Eve.

CW: Alcohol consumption, sexual references, mention of cigarettes, swearing, lots of drama.

Pairing: Poly!Marauders x fem!reader

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8

--

"YOU SLEPT WITH SIRIUS?!"

"Shh! Mary keep your voice down," you uttered, looking around to see how many of your coworker's heads had swivelled towards you in response to Mary's loud exclamation.

"Sorry," she grimaced. "I'm just.. I'm in shock."

You sighed and leaned back where you were perched on the corner of her desk. "I think I am a bit as well."

There was a pause.

"Well, was it good?"

"Mary! Oh my god!" you groaned and threw a hand over your face to hide your mortification.

"What? I'm just asking. I can't say that I haven't imagined it once or twice myself-"

You slapped her gently across the shoulder with the back of your hand. "You're distrubed. You know that?"

She smirked. "You know you love me."

You rolled your eyes affectionately at your friend. "Anyway, we'd been drinking and it was Christmas and we were having such a wonderful time. I think we just got swept up in it all and now I don't know what to do. Things have been kind of... weird between us."

"Well have you guys talked about it?" Mary inquired.

"That's the thing. Afterwards he just kind of moved on like it never happened. I don't know if he thinks it was a mistake or something but it's stressing me out."

"Hmm," a thoughtful look crossed Mary's face as she took everything in. "Well how are you feeling about it? Do you think it was a mistake?"

You bit the inside of your cheek. "No? I-I don't think so. I dont know."

A look of realisation washed over Mary's face. "Do you like him??"

"I mean, of course I like him. I'm just not sure I like like him."

Your friend sighed exasperatedly. "Oh my god! We're not in Primary School, just answer the damn question!"

"Fine! I guess the answer is... yes?" you sighed. "But whatever! Does it even make a difference? He's made it exceptionally clear that he doesn't feel the same way."

"Look," Mary huffed, her expression growing sincere. "Sirius is great. He's fun and friendly and a total flirt but he's also been known to be a little emotionally constipated. Just be honest with him. Talk to him about it. He's not going to be able to pick up on any signals you're trying to send him."

You squeezed your eyes shut and let out a breath throught your nose. "Ugh fine."

"Good girl," Mary smiled. "Now go away. I actually have some work to get done today."

"Oh fine. I suppose I know when I'm not wanted," you teased, getting up and walking back towards your desk.

"Love you!" Mary called lightheartedly as you walked away.

"Yeah, yeah," you joked in response.

As you arrived back at your desk and slumped down in your chair, prepared to get back to work, a head peaked down at you over the cubical.

"Oh, you're back, I see."

You jumped slightly at the unexpected voice and looked up to see its perpertrator.

"Yes, Glenn. Hi. Is there anything I can help you with?"

Glenn was a new employee in your office and he sat in the cubical opposite yours. He was only a few years older than you and he was tall and fit with short blonde hair and piercing blue eyes. In the few weeks you'd known him for, he'd been particularly friendly towards you and recently you'd been getting the idea that he had taken a liking to you.

You weren't interested of course. He was an attractive guy but not really your type. And with everything going on with Sirius over the last week, you'd been making a effort to put some distance between you. You definitely weren't looking for anything of that nature right now and you didn't want to give him the wrong impression. However, Glenn was nothing if not persistant.

"Actually, I was just wondering if you had any plans for new years tonight? A few of my mates are throwing a party and you're welcome to join us if you're interested."

You sent him you're most empathetic smile. "That sounds lovely but unfortunately I already have some plans with my friends."

He sighed, flashing you a grin that looked suspiciously rehearsed. "Oh well. No problem. It was worth a shot. You have fun tonight."

"You too, Glenn."

As the man dissapeared back over the divider, you let out a heafty sigh. Tonight was surely going to be interesting.

--

The view was impeccable from the bar where your friends had gathered to spend New Years. In fact, seated beside a huge floor to ceiling window, you suspected you'd have a clear view of the New Years fireworks.

It was a classy joint, one that Dorcas had managed to get you access to through one of her fancy lawyer contacts.

Everyone was assembled on stools around a table, looking out over the London skyline. It was about four hours until midnight and the group was chatting excitedly in the lead up.

"I've got shots!" Mary called out and everyone cheered as she returned to the table with a tray.

She passed the drinks around and then took her seat beside you.

"Well, I suggest a toast!" James called out, grabbing the attention of the group. "To a wonderful year ahead, and many more memories with old, and new, friends!"

He emphasised the last line with a pointed look in your direction and you felt your cheeks growing hot.

"Cheers!" Marlene shouted enthusiastically and the others echoed her sentiments, clinking glasses and swallowing their drinks.

The burning of the liquor was welcomed as the drink ran down your throat. You'd been thinking a lot about what Mary had said to you in regards to your situation with Sirius. And as he sat beside you, laughing animatedly at one of Peter's stories, it only confirmed your worst fears. Maybe you were starting to develop feelings for your roommate. You grimaced at the thought. Things were bound to get messy in situations like this.

"So guys," Sybil piped up from across the table. "Let's all go around and say our New Years resolutions."

"Oh, I'll go first!" James volunteered. "I hope my team continues to play a great season annnddd... I want to work out more."

There was a collective groan.

"Come on, James. That's not a real one!" Mary complained.

Sirius chuckled, taking a pointed sip of his drink. "Yeah! You already work out like 7 times a day!"

"Ugh, okay fine!" James responded with groan. He thought for a moment. "How about this one. I'd like to fall in love this year."

You didn't miss the way his eyes flickered across the table towards Lily and you felt your heart sink. Lily seemed to take notice a well as she averted her eyes, taking a heafty gulp of the drink in her hand.

"Aww, James. Always the romantic, aren't you?" Marlene chuckled.

"Shut up." James rolled his eyes playfully. "Your turn then, Marls."

"Okay," She took a deep breath. "My goal this year is to become super rich and famous and sucessful."

"I second that!" Mary called across the table and you giggled as they clinked their glasses.

"Y/n. Your turn," Dorcas announced.

"Oh okay, um..." you thought for a moment, your gaze flashing to James and Remus across the table, then over to Sirius, who was watching you expectanly, a playlful glimmer in his stormy eyes.

You then looked back towards the rest of the group. "This year, I'd like to spend some more time with you lovely people."

A round of cooing echoed across the table and Mary threw her arms around you.

"Well aren't you just the sweetest!"

"Oh, and I'd like to work more on my novel," you added.

"Alright, alright. Sirius, you're up!" Marlene chimed.

The boy beside you pursed his lips, looking off into the distance as if deep in thought. Then, after a long moment, he turned back to all of you with a mischievous smirk on his lips.

"This year, I want to have lots of amazing sex!"

"Ew. Sirius, you're so foul," Lily exclaimed, followed by a symphany of similar sentiments from the other members of the group.

While everyone else was distracted, grumbling and groaning about Sirius' bluntness, the man leaned down towards you.

"You look great tonight, by the way." He whispered into your hair.

You gulped thickly, not quite sure what to do with yourself. You opted for downing the remainder of your Vodka, Lime and Soda.

--

As the evening drew on, you found yourself growing more anxious in Sirius' presence. You weren't quite sure what his game was, whether it was the alcohol or he was just feeling extra bold tonight, but he'd been suspiciously flirtatious.

You didn't know how to respond. Part of you wanted to let him. To let him woo you and go crawling back for more of what you'd had together on Christmas Night. However, the other, more logical part of you, told you that was a terrible idea. He was your roommate afterall. The last thing you wanted was to start some complicated friends-with-benefits situation with a guy you lived with, especially one that you had sort of, maybe, possibly had caught feelings for.

You downed another drink, feeling the alcohol grip you and hoped it would help to ease the nerves ever so slightly. You realised then, that you were staring.

Sirius had gone to the bar to order another round of drinks and you'd been watching with bated breath as he sent his signature smile to a girl wearing an explicitly tight black dress. You noticed the way she leaned forward, pressing her cleavage up against the bar as she spoke to him. God, could she be anymore obvious?

"Calm the hell down, y/n!" You thought to yourself. "It's not like you guys are together. He can flirt with whoever he wants."

"Hey, are you okay?" you raked your eyes away from the scene as a voice came from beside you.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine," You muttered absently, too distracted to notice that it was Remus who asked the question.

"Okay, never have I ever... made out with more than one person on the same night!" Mary's voice rang out and you forced your attention back to the group.

You weren't sure when this game had begun but you suspected it was suggested by one of the girls (likely Mary or Marlene) as a way to pass the final hour until midnight. You hadn't participated in this game since probably highschool, but you were all a few drinks in at this point so you figured, what the hell?

You watched as Marlene, James and Dorcas all took a sip. Then Lily sent Mary a pointed look.

"Come on, Mary. That's not how the game works. You have to say something you haven't done."

"I haven't!" Mary responded. Then she paused. "Oh wait, yeah I definitely have."

Everyone chuckled as she took a drink.

"Alright! Dorcas! Your turn." Mary nudged the girl in the side.

Dorcas rolled her eyes. "For the record, I just want to say, I think this game is stupid."

"Come on babe. Don't be a party pooper!" Marlene exclaimed, leaning in towards her girlfriend. "How else are we supposed to learn everyone's deepest darkest secrets."

Dorcas sighed and shook her head but there was a hint of a smile on her face. She really could never say no to Marlene.

"Ugh, fine. Never have I ever stolen something."

"Well that's a hard one," Mary muttered. "What do we count as stealing? Because I've stolen stuff from James a ton of times."

"Oi!" James shouted, looking positively affronted. Mary sent him an apologetic smile.

"No, not like that," Dorcas clarified. "It had to have been from an actual shop."

You all sat up straight for a moment, curiously looking around the group to see if anyone had. Hesitantly, Peter lifted his glass to his lips.

"Pete! What the hell!" James exclaimed.

"I don't know, I went through a phase in highschool!"

"What sort of stuff did you take?" Marlene pressed.

Peter shrugged. "Chocolate and ciggarettes, mostly."

There was an eruption of laughter that rippled across the table at Peter's revelation.

"Wow, I didn't know there was a degenerate among us," Lily teased, watching Peter's face flush bright red.

"Okay, okay. My turn!" Marlene said, once the laughter died down. "Never have I ever... gotten really sloshedand fallen down the stairs at my 18th birthday party"

"Hey! That's not fair!" James moaned, taking a sip of his beer. "You can't do targeted ones!"

Marlene just shrugged. "Sorry, but I don't think that was established in the rules."

James smirked. "Fine then! Never have I ever had sex with someone at this table."

Your blood ran cold for a moment as you glanced back towards the bar. You sighed in relief when you saw that Sirius was still over there. In that case, you technically hadn't slept with anyone at the table. You were off the hook for now.

Marlene rolled her eyes at James and took a drink, as well as Dorcas, Peter and Sybil, however, you watched James' eyes widen as Mary also took a long sip.

"Mary!" Lily hissed across the table. Your heart plummeted.

"What?" Mary shrugged, the alcohol clearly having gone to her head. "We have to! It's the rules."

"Wait! Hold on," Marlene murmered, her eyes drifting between the two girls. "Did you guys..."

There was a heavy anticipatory silence that hung over the table as you all awaited Lily's response. The girl grimaced, as she tried to muster some kind of explanation.

It was then that her eyes drifted up to meet James' pleading ones.

"Lily?" the boy asked softly. Your heart broke for him.

"So I guess the cat's out of the bag huh?" the girl sighed. "Mary and I have sort of been seeing each other. Like, romantically."

"Holy shit!" Marlene shouted, candid and straight to the point as she usually was in these situations.

"How long has this been going on?" Dorcas questioned.

"It's still really new," Lily explained.

"We were just trying to figure out the right time to tell you guys," Mary added.

"So you're the one Mary has been seeing?" James murmered.

"Yes," Lily responded. "I'm sorry James but you had to know it was never going to work out between us."

The boy sighed, running a hand through his unruly curls. "Yeah, I know."

Then he started to stand. "I think I just need some air for a minute."

"James, wait-" Remus reached out to grab his arm but James shook him off.

"I just need minute," he repeated, grabbing his coat from the back of his chair and hurrying towards the exit. Part of you wanted to go after him but the other part recognised that he probably needed some space to process things.

"Sorry, everyone. I didn't mean to ruinthe night," Mary murmered folornly.

"No hun! you didn't ruin anything," you comforted.

"Yeah, we're really happy for you two," Dorcas added.

"Really?"

Everyone nodded.

"Absolutely. You both deserve to be happy," Remus confirmed.

Wide smiles crossed over the girls' faces.

--

It was two minutes until midnight and Sirius was nowhere to be seen. Despite your better judgement, you couldn't help but feel slightly disapointed. You supposed that there was some small aspect of your mind that hoped Sirius would be your New Years kiss.

You knew it was wishful thinking, especially when you hadn't even spoken about what happened between you, but with how he'd been acting towards you throughout the night, you'd allowed yourself to nurture that flicker of hope.

As people crowded around the window and the countdown began, you found your eyes searching the room for the dark haired man, wondering if just maybe, he'd make a last minute appearance.

"Five, four, three, two..."

You scanned the space one last time.

"One!"

You're last flicker of hope died out as your eyes finally landed on his form.

"Happy New Year!"

The shouts and cheers faded into the background as you watched Sirius press his lips to those of the boob-y blonde you'd seen him flirting with before.

The moment seemed to go in slow motion. You watched from afar as he tangled his hand in her hair, just as he'd done in yours only a week prior.

"Of course," you thought. "Typical"

It was Sirius Black you were talking about. You were stupid to think you meant anything more to him than a casual night of fun.

In an instant, you turned on your heel and walked towards the door, the sounds of the party fading into the background. You decided, instead of bumming around waiting for Sirius to notice you, you'd go look for James, just as you should've done much earlier.

The cold hit you like a block of cement as you stepped outside onto the street. It didn't take you long to find him.

He was sitting on the curb, outside of he bar, arms resting on his knees as he looked up towards the sky. Another explosion sounded and a flash of colour filled the air. In the distance, you could hear the cheers of excited people all around as they celebrated.

"Happy New Year, James."

He turned to look at you and in the flash of light, as another firework flickered across the sky, you were able to notice the faint tear tracks that lined his cheeks.

"Oh hey." he sniffled, rubbing a hand beneath his glasses and trying to regain a semblance of composure.

BANG!

You flopped unceremoniously onto the ground beside him as another flash filled the sky. You gave him a sympathetic smile. Funnily enough, in that moment, you knew exactly how he felt.

"Are you okay?" You asked him gently.

He let out a dry chuckle. "Yeah. I will be."

BANG!

"Good."

You both turned your gazes back to the display, taking in the beautiful array of colours filling the air. It wasn't quite the view you'd expected for the night, but somehow, that didn't seem to matter.

As you continued to watch the fireworks, you felt the gentle touch of a hand wrapping around your own. You smiled slightly as your fingers intertwined.

Slowly, you shuffled closer and leaned into him, gently resting your head on James broad shoulder.

You stayed like that a while, just taking in the show, and each other's company.

--

Taglist:

@hisparentsgallerryy @navs-bhat @shushbruv @magicwithaknife @eeviee4 @notapoetjustscar @gugggu6gvai @robertsmithclone @ilovesugurugeto69 @taytayy178 @its-notkiee @bugworldsworld @switchingfandomslikecrazy @evangelquill, @delusional-4-fake-people, @ch4rlotte35, @insideoutjulie, @hiireadstuff, @laniirackssss, @starrystormwritings, @strategicsweetheart, @1800brat, @sammyreid, @frootloops1213, @ill-be-okay-soon-enough

[wardensantoineandevka]

Thoughts on how the Dragon Age and Critical Role Fandoms both have members using "destroying the status quo" as a main argument that characters should initiate a cataclysm (i.e. releasing Predathos/bringing down the Veil)?

It's the power fantasy of believing that you, often a lone individual, can fix things with one dramatic action without having to engage in the difficult and unglamorous toil of continuous and sustained work improving conditions at a daily and material level.

It's the power fantasy of thinking that you can fix (repair) something without having to acknowledge that things are never fixed (stable) because it is dodging that a single dramatic action cannot on its own accomplish anything without a relationship to the conditions as they are in a real sense, an understanding of what creates and upholds those conditions, and continuous and often boring or unpleasant or smaller work to sustain movement toward improvement.

It's a memetic flattening to simplify engaging in the concepts of hegemony and systemic oppression. Oppression existing and being upheld by our prevailing cultural attitudes and systems of governance is indeed our status quo in, since this is where I live, the United States. The concept of "status quo" in itself, however, is simply a term for what the current state of affairs is, so I find the idea of destroying status quo as an always inherently progressive act without reference to what that status quo IS or to what we are changing suspect at best. I know what these fans MEAN to point to, yes, so I'm being a little deliberately obtuse in that prior sentence; however, I find that many of these fans do not themselves know what they are referring to when they invoke the status quo, hence why am I being so. Many of them do believe that the destruction of the status quo — regardless of what that status quo is — is indeed itself a noble endeavor. This line of thinking is pursuit of an ideal isolated from any meaningful connection to conditions of the narrative world or its relationship to how it affects those conditions and is simply pursuing itself for itself.

Often, I also find that even those who can correctly point to what the state of affairs is, they often struggle to meaningfully or coherently lay out what this cataclysm's relationship to that state of affairs is (often the case with Dragon Age) or how this cataclysm will resolve or change that state of affairs for the better (often the case with CritRole). Generally, there's a sense that this cataclysm will free everyone to pursue improved conditions, but — even if this cataclysm action would remove a barrier, and that's often a dubious if at best — there no sense of what the next step is or how this will be accomplished meaningfully and materially. It's always very "Step 1. Cataclysm / Step 2. ???? / Step 3. Utopia" without any sense of how to build or maintain that improvement, at which point we're back at my prior points about power fantasy.

My thoughts essentially boil down to power fantasy and pursuit of a memetic ideal for the sake of itself.

[maximwtf]

as a junho lover i am BEGGING you to please release the fic you had 😭😭😭😭

Hwang Jun-Ho x detective! Reader

Words: 3970

google docs pages: 6

Warnings: Platonic relationship mostly, but squint and it’s not. Squid Game season 1 spoilers, violence, guns, choking, character death but not major. 

Opening: You and Jun-ho are colleagues and your shift tonight would only consist of being on patrol. This leads to a lot of talking as per usual, before you spot something suspicious.

AN// G/N reader. A lot of you wanted me to post this ancient piece of media back up, so your wish is my command. This was actually fun for me to read as well. This was last posted in 2021 and soon after deleted, no memory of why I did that :”D. But I hope yall will still enjoy this s1 inspired fic ! And before anyone asks, I won't write a pt 2 for this, since I don't remember where I was taking this story initially;(

“I know you miss him.”

You were walking behind Jun-ho towards his car. Tonight's shift would be just you and him on patrol. There was nothing surprising with that, since he was your partner and you had gotten to know him pretty well over the years. But the problem was that you hadn’t slept well last night, and you had forgotten to bring your lunch while in a hurry this morning. So this meant that you'd either have to be without food the whole night or beg for Jun-ho to stop for a moment before the stores closed.

You watched how Jun-ho unlocked the doors of the car. The front lights lit up for a second, Indicating the doors had opened. He stepped into the driver's seat and sat down. You soon followed and sat down on the seat next to him. Nothing out of the ordinary, another normal shift. 

The car was almost fully white, with two stripes going on both of the sides. The smaller stripe was yellow and on top of that was a larger stripe in blue. Under the stripes was text that said ‘Police’. On the roof of the car, there were the usual police red and blue lights but also a bigger light for searching in the dark. The seats were fully black, like most of the car was on the inside.

Jun-ho started the car, and slowly drove away from the police office. The sun had gone down a little bit ago, and slowly but surely the street lights had turned on. It had rained earlier that day, so the streets were a little wet still. The car had no lights on inside, only the lights on the control board were illuminating a soft light against whatever it managed to touch. The street lamps passing by allowing some more light to come in every once in a while. This was exactly what you were used to, since the two of you had been on night patrol a lot recently.

You sat in silence as Jun-ho drove through the familiar streets. Watching the yellowish lights as they passed you, one by one. Your gaze wandered off to Jun-ho. You couldn’t tell how he was feeling, since he was only looking at the road with no defined expression on his face. He had told you on your last shift that he hadn’t seen his brother in a while, but you weren’t sure if he had been found already or not. Not sure if it was appropriate to ask about it again, seeing as it might have been a sensitive topic. But if Jun-ho was feeling out of it, you weren’t sure if he should be working a night shift.

“Hey, could we stop by a store? I forgot my ‘lunch’, and I don't want to pull an all-nighter without anything to eat.” You requested with a hint of embarrassment in your voice. But it was either this or having to suffer through the night with no food. Either way, this was maybe the best way to start a conversation, to see how  your partner was doing. Jun-ho turned his gaze at you for a little bit before he replied. “Sure, just make it quick.” He said with a nod. 

Soon the car pulled up near a store and you left to grab something to eat. Knowing that you didn't have a lot of time, you just took the nearest thing that happened to be some sort of a salad. You grabbed the nearest energy drink just to be sure the night would pass smoothly, and went to pay. As you were walking back to the car, you saw Jun-ho writing something on his phone. Not thinking much of it, and seating yourself back down next to him. “Sorry for this. I’ll try to wake up earlier next time.” You apologized, while placing the food on the back seat. “It’s okay. You didn’t waste much time.” He hummed as a reply, and started the car again. The small walkie talkie that he had connected to his belt was making noise. The other officers that were on the same shift seemed to be actively talking right now. This didn’t worry you yet, since they would have contacted you two if something was going on nearby.

After a while of going around the part of the town you were supposed to patro, you reached back to get the energy drink. Staying up late last night had started to turn against you, starting to feel awfully worn out by now. Your eyes were looking at the almost empty streets, as you lifted the can up to your lips. 

Your gaze detected movement on the road, and soon seeing a dog crossing the street. Jun-ho didn’t seem to be bothered by it, continuing on. Panicking for a moment when the realisation hit you that he must have not seen the damn thing. You quickly put the can on the cup holder. “Stop, there’s a dog!” You exclaimed to Jun-ho. His eyes widened and he pressed down the brakes. The car stopped just in time, and the dog crossed the road quickly, with its tail in between its legs. Your body almost hit the dashboard, but thankfully your seat belt held you in place. You were both staring at the road with widened eyes. All you could hear was heavy breathing that was coming from the both of you. 

You slowly leaned back and rested your body on the seat. “Pull the car on the side of the road.” You demanded quietly, voice firm. Jun-ho did as you requested, and parked the car on the side. “How did you not see the dog?” You asked in a much calmer voice, body seemingly still in some form of shock. You didn’t want to be mean to him, since it could have just been a mistake on his part. “I was in my thoughts. I’m sorry for putting you in danger.” Jun-ho sighed, with his gaze avoiding you. “Now, you look at me and tell me what is going on. You seem totally out of it?” You huffed and tilted your head in confusion. It took him a while, but he turned to look at you again. “And now the second part. Are you doing okay?” You asked the question in a different way so he couldn’t avoid the topic. “I’m doing just fine. I’m just a little tired, that’s all. I promise.” Jun-ho tried to convince you.

He turned away to start the car again, but you had other plans. “Have they found your brother yet?” You asked with a more monotone voice. Trying to dig a little deeper this time. Straight after saying this, Jun-ho stopped completely for a brief moment. “He’s…still missing.” The man admitted quietly while looking at the windshield. He leaned back on the seat like you had done and closed his eyes. You furrowed your brows in worry. Before you were able to reply, he continued. “I have reported him as missing already, but they can’t seem to find him. I have some evidence of..something but nothing that would actually help.” He pressed his palms against the steering wheel firmly, eyes opening again.

You looked at him with a freshly formed frown on your face. “What's the evidence you’ve found so far?” You asked, interested in the topic because you wanted to help him. “A card with a circle, triangle and a square on it. My brother had one in his room and I recently saw another man have a similar card. They’re related but I don’t know how.” Jun-ho replied, and turned his gaze back to you with sorrow behind his eyes. “Well, have you talked to the man yet? Maybe he knows what’s going on?” You tilted your head. “I tried to, but he didn’t seem like he wanted to tell me anything..” The man sighed again, but this time with more frustration. “I know you miss him, but you can’t give up. Did you see what was written on the card?” You patted his shoulder, an attempt to wipe the saddened look off of his face. “There was only a number on the back, nothing more.” He explained, not much to go off of. “We need a little more evidence to really start looking into this, but I can try to help you. I’m sure we can find him.”  You tried to smile a little and offered a hug to him. Jun-ho looked at you for a moment and accepted the offer.

After you had pulled back from the hug, the walkie talkie started to make noise again. Jun-ho answered it quickly. The person talking to Jun-ho told him to switch cars to a civil one, because they had spotted something going on near you two. Jun-ho ended the call, and started the car again. “Seems like we’ve got a case on our hands.” He hummed, and pulled the car back on the road. Like nothing had happened.

At this hour it was fully dark. Only the street lights, signs and the lights from the car broke veil the darkness. There were only a few people walking on the streets, most likely coming from a bar. 

Before you knew it, you had arrived all the way back to the police office. You could barely see the whole building in the dark, the city having not invested a whole lot on the building. Jun-ho took the keys from the car and stepped out. You took your items and followed him, hurrying to the side of the car he was standing by. He led you to a fully black car, around the corner from the office. “Let’s be quick.” He stated quietly and opened the door to the passenger seat. You smiled at him kindly, and stepped in. He soon sat down on the driver's side and pulled the car onto the road. “Where are we going?” You asked while putting on your seat belt. “Here.” Jun-ho said as he was typing the location on the navigator. You didn’t recognize the street’s name, but you decided to not ask where it was located. You’d see soon enough. “Did they tell you what was going on there?” You asked for more information, hoping that Jun-ho didn’t mind. “Someone who we have been looking for has been reported to be in that area. We were called to check if he’s still there.” Jun-ho quickly explained while driving faster. You two didn’t have time to lose, since the man could get away any moment. 

The navigator kept giving directions, and Jun-ho was following them. You seemed to be getting closer by the second. But suddenly Jun-ho slowed down the whole car. “What are you doing?” You questioned your partner. But what you didn’t know was that he had seen something far more important to him than the person you two had been called to look for. “That’s him. That’s the man that had the same card as my brother.” Jun-ho said quietly before he started to back up the car. He backed in the shadows and turned off the lights from the car. “I might get fired for this, but I'll make sure that you’ll be fine.” The man murmured, as his eyes were following Gi-hun get picked up by a big van. “Wait- Are you trying to tell me that you’ll disobey the request to find the man the office has been looking for just to follow him? What if we end up in danger? There’s no backup.” Your heart beat got faster the more you thought about this. This didn’t seem like the worst case scenario was going to be fired, but something way worse. “This might be my only chance to get to know where my brother is. I’m not letting this go.” He replied with confidence in his voice.

As much as you appreciated and trusted this man, you weren’t sure if you should tell him no. And even if you did, would he even listen at this point. Before you had time to say anything against his plan, the van started to drive away. Jun-ho started to slowly shadow it. He had turned off all the lights from the car, and he wasn’t using the headlights either. You had never been in a situation like this, but there was no getting out of this now.

“Do you have a phone?” Jun-ho asked with a more serious tone. “Y-yes, why?” You asked but still showed him your phone. It was almost fully charged, only a few percents missing. “Good. Just in case we get separated.” He nodded and kept following the van. “So are you saying we might? We’re not getting out of this car are we?” You asked in a panicked voice. “You don’t have to. But I want to know what’s going on. They’re clearly going somewhere and my brother has to be somewhere with them.” Jun-ho spoke, attention clearly keen on the van. 

Soon the van stopped. The navigator showed that you were close to a port. Suddenly you were able to see multiple of the same kind of van going the same way. They all turned and started to drive towards a cargo ship. There was a lot of space for all the vans and some people with red clothing showing where the vans should be parked. Seemingly a well orchestrated operation, whatever this was.

Jun-ho stopped the car and parked it so that it wouldn’t be too easy to see. “Now. You stay here, and I’ll call you in a little bit once I have found out what's going on here.” Jun-ho started to undo his seat belt and get out. “Wait- We don’t even know who these people are, and we don’t have any backup. What if they come and ask what I’m doing here?” You started to get restless. “Just..” Jun-ho had to think about this for a moment. “Tell them you’re waiting for your boyfriend.” He finally said and closed the door. Your eyes widened for a moment but before you could form any words, he was gone. 

There were more lights near the port, so it was easy to see all the grey vans enter the ship. There were huge yellow towers built to hover on top of the bridge that led to the ship that had multiple bright lights showing the way to the drivers of the vans. There didn’t seem to be anyone else but more of the people with the red suits. The situation unfolding before your eyes, seemingly sketchier by the minute.

It was hard to see, but you could make out where Jun-ho was standing. He took out his phone and started to type something. You started to look even more worried. Now wasn’t the best time to start looking at your phone. The worry caused your hand to start wandering closer to the door handle. Your eyes were still focused on him, and you saw when he switched the phone to a gun. Only hoping it was loaded full, but it wasn’t safe anyway to go on a mission like this with only one gun anyway.

As your hand started to open the door, Jun-ho ran from the place he was hiding in. From what you could see he had hidden behind one of the vans. “Damn it..” You cussed under your breath and got out of the car. After making sure that there was no one around, you ran towards another van, and copied what he did. You got on your back and quickly got under the van. Quickly finding something to hold on to and lift your body up from the ground.

Soon after doing this the vans started to all move in the cargo ship. There was some talking  you could hear, and after that the ship left the port. You had no idea where the two of you were going, but you had to follow your partner. You would never forgive yourself if he never came back from this mission that no one even had an idea you two were on. Knowing no one would believe you if you told them Jun-ho had disappeared just like his brother.

The vans you had gotten under were neatly parked next to each other, near the back of the ship. You saw him shift and then get up, still staying behind the van. You took a quiet deep breath and followed his lead. “Hey.” You whispered quietly, so that no one would hear you. With a quick movement he was pointing his gun at you, before he realised who it was. “What are you doing?! I told you to stay in the car?” He whispered back with tension in his voice. “And I’d go to the office alone, to explain to the boss where you had disappeared? As if they’d believe me.” You murmured back. He then quickly switched to your side. “Do you have your gun?” He whispered close to your ear. You shivered slightly at this, placing your hand over the firearm. “I do, it’s full,”  you whispered back. He only nodded at you and went to peek over the edge of the van. While he was doing that someone started to talk through a microphone. “Check the players,” echoed through the ship. With this the side doors of the vans opened by themselves. 

“Get in.” Jun-ho whispered quickly before he stepped in one of the vans. Without another thought you stepped in the van that Jun-ho had been under, ready to follow his lead. Knowing by now how sensitive this situation was. One wrong move, and you’d truly see what these men dressed in red were truly up to.

Your eyes scanned the people sitting in the van. You couldn’t see too well, no lights on in the vans. But no matter how well you looked, you couldn’t see anyone that even slightly looked like Jun-ho’s brother. Before you knew it, you heard the drivers of the cars step out. Your eyes widened. The only thing you could think of was to pretend to be one of the people in the van. 

You sat down on one of the seats at the back, and pretended to sleep. You were able to open one of your eyes slightly, trying to stay up to date on what was happening. You saw a masked person with a full red suit and a black mask with a white circle on it. They were scanning the other people in the van by checking something from behind their ears. You had no idea what Jun-ho was going to do, but as the suited person started to come closer to you. Knowing you didn’t have whatever the others had gotten placed behind their ears, you prepared to attack the suited man. 

 They tested one of your ears and then turned your head to test your other ear. Not being able to find the chip they were looking for. You opened your eyes and quickly attacked them. You hit the mask so that the person fell backwards, buying yourself some time. While they were trying to get up, you moved behind them. The person tried to stab you with a black knife, but you dodged it. You took a hold of their wrist and repeatedly hit it against the seats of the van, until they let go of the knife.  With that you hit their head with your knee and began to choke them. Trying to make as little noise as possible as to not alert any of their companions.

The van moved a little as the person struggled until they started to go limp. You let go of the pink suited person, and took a deep breath. Your heart beat was going crazy at this point, and your hands were shaking. Not once during your time as a detective had you had to fight like this for your life. The idea of you two being alone on this mission, and not even knowing if Jun-ho was alive scared you. 

You knew that you didn’t have a lot of time, so you began to strip the pink suit off the person. It was better to hide in plain sight, especially if they were all dressed the same. You took off the mask as well and dressed up. You had no clue what the job of this person was, other than checking the players and driving the van, but maybe you’d be able to just follow the others. After getting the suit on, you took your tag that showed who you were off, and placed it in the pocket of the person that was now wearing your clothes. 

After that you lifted up the body of the person, attempting to drag them outside the van. Not being used to doing something like this made it hard to lift up a whole body alone. While struggling you wobbled to the edge of the ship, and dropped the body in water. After this you turned around to see where you were supposed to go, you saw another pink suited person. They heard you and turned around. You froze up, not really having a plan to go off of. You felt a tap on your shoulder. “I saw what you did.” A man’s voice said. You could tell it was Jun-ho’s, since it was more muffled due to the mask. But you took the gamble. “You did the same,” You mumbled back. The other masked person made no move to harm you, confirming you’d been correct.

“Hey, you two!” You both turned to look at who was talking to you. There was a person in a pink suit, but this one had a triangle on the mask and a gun. Behind them there was another pink suited person. Only, they had a square on their mask and no gun in hand. You were too stressed out to say anything, and you assumed Jun-ho could sense this since he started to talk. “This is...They were feeling sea sick.” Jun-ho said to the triangle. They didn’t reply, but the square stepped forward, pointing their gun down. 

Their behaviour made you wonder if the symbols on their masks had something to do with their ranking system. Attempting to figure it out while Jun-ho was conversing with them. Square, then triangle, and that left the circle. And if it was the last one it meant that it was the lowest position. “Did you forget the rules?” A man’s voice said from behind the square mask. “You do not speak without your supervisor’s approval.” They continued. You were trying to make your breathing as calm as possible, so that the square wouldn’t notice anything. “Go wait in the cabin,” the square ordered. He gave you and Jun-ho a stare before walking away, taking the triangle with him. 

After they had left you put your hand on your chest to take a breather. You had no idea what you had gotten yourself into, and you couldn’t even blame Jun-ho. You had killed a random man a minute ago and after that you were pointed a gun at, and it was most likely only going to get worse from here.

“Are you doing alright?” Jun-ho’s voice asked, as he kneeled down a little, and pulled your upper body back up by your shoulder. “We have to get to these ‘cabins’, just follow me. Please?” Jun-ho kept talking to you. Giving you a moment to recollect yourself after the encounter. “I’ll recover, I just need to rest for a moment…” You exhaled while looking at your shaky hands. With that you nodded and Jun-ho started to walk up the stairs, where the other circles had gone as well.

[sugurugetofavoritemonkey]

hiii, sweet! I'm that one anon who made that one request you wrote of 'love is the fountain of life'

how was your day? I hope I make your whole week once again with this new idea I've got recently 🥰 It's not that much elaborated like the first request I did, but I really hope you'll like it! the prompt is: Ethan walking into his dorm and being met by reader dressed in one of those bunny suits (I'm a mess writing this because I'm always so embarrassed to make nsfw asks 😓)

anyways, hope you have a perfect week! <33

Down the bunny hole

Summary : Ethan had a rough week but luckily his girlfriend dressed in a bunny suit is here to brighten up his day !

Pairing : Ethan Landry x F!Reader.

Word Count : 1.400 words.

Warnings : Smut, p in v, bunny suit obviously, butt plug, fingering, creampie, overstimulation ?, needy Ethan, hints at Ethan being Ghostface at the end. (Please tell me if I forgot anything).

A/N : Hiiiii lovely ! I definitely remember you, I loved your last request and I clearly love this one as much, thank you so much for sending it to me ! 🥰 My day was good, I hope yours was as well and you definitely made my week with this one 😘 I’m also very sorry for taking so long to reply to your request, those last two months were a bit rough for me at work but your request was always on my mind (also Ethan <3) seeing that I had started it right when you sent it, so I dearly hope that I did it justice and don’t hesitate to send me more requests for Ethan and to tell me how I did please ! 🩷 Again, thank you so much for your patience sweet and have a perfect week as well ! <3

You were currently waiting for your boyfriend Ethan Landry in his dorm, sitting on his bed like his pretty little gift that waited to be unwrapped. You were wearing a lovely bunny suit that you bought earlier this week to please Ethan. The bunny suit consisted of a black crotchless body to give Ethan easier access ; bunny ears, one of them being slightly bent to give you a cuter look ; white shirt cuffs ; a white suit collar with a black ribbon ; a soft bunny white tail and an elegant garter belt with black lace stockings.

Ethan was almost back to his dorm at the moment, sighing heavily after finishing a long day at school, exhausted and with just one idea in mind : coming back home where he knows you await him like every other day, your classes finishing just a bit before his. Ethan can already picture the way he’s going to hold you in his arms for the rest of the evening and night, showering you in kisses.

When Ethan finally opens the door to his dorm, he doesn’t have the mind to finish his sentence as he stops in his tracks, closing the door and letting his hand rest on the knob with his mouth slightly open.

« I’m here bab- », Ethan’s voice turn quiet as his cheekbones and nose grow red with pleasant surprise, excitement and shyness.

Ethan stays silent for a few seconds, just looking at you with doe eyes as he doesn’t really know where to look first : Your teasing smile ? The way the black body was hugging your breasts just the right way ? Or the way your crossed legs looked so inviting ?

After a moment, you uncross your legs to walk towards your sweet puppy eyes boyfriend, putting your hands on his face to gently caress it as you smile and cock your head to the side slightly. It doesn’t take long for Ethan’s agitating hands to find their way on your hips, caressing your curves over the bunny suit.

« When did you get this ? », Ethan ponders while biting his lower lip.

« Earlier this week, you had rough exams love, I wanted to do something nice for you. Do you like it ? », you ask him in return with a big smile.

« You’re gorgeous. », he simply answers with vigor, his head nodding rapidly as Ethan’s breath quickens just a bit.

Before your smile can widen at his praise, Ethan closes the gap between you both and hungrily kisses your lips. He mentally tries his best to be soft but honestly it’s the best he can do seeing the context you put him in. His tongue soon starts to swipe over your lower lip to ask for entrance as he starts making out with you, making Ethan moan and whimper between kisses. You can feel Ethan getting hard against your tummy as you deepen the kiss as well, smearing some of your lipstick on his own mouth along the way. Ethan’s right hand has a mind of its own as it comes down to rub your pussy through the material of your costume… Well that’s at least what he has intended to do. But his eyes go wide in surprise, a good yet dirty one he wasn’t expecting, his fingers directly coming into contact with your wet pussy as Ethan realizes that your body is crotchless.

« So that you can fuck me more easily. », you whisper in his ear with a smile as you clutch on his strong arm to stand on your tiptoes.

« You’re gonna be the death of me, sweetheart. », Ethan gulps at your innocent smile mixed with your lewd words, as he blush and tightens his hold on your hips.

As you link your mouth with his once again, you gently guide Ethan backwards towards his bed, pushing him softly on his back so that you can straddle his lap. Ethan makes himself comfy on his pillows while you unloop his belt and unzip his jeans, taking his cock out as you don't wait any longer before you guide his already leaking cock into you to ride him. Ethan chokes on a moan at the feeling of your tight hot walls that envelops him in the most perfect way imaginable, you were made for him and Ethan was sure of this fact for god knows how long. Your sweet boyfriend is breathless and a moaning mess against your lips as you kiss him for all he’s worth. His hands wander to grab at your boobs, lowering the front part of your body to make your tits pop out of your pretty bunny suit. Ethan buries his face into your cleavage as he alternatively sucks on your nipple and massage the other one, switching to pinching one of your nipples between his index and thumb while he licks at the other, making you sweetly whine for him - just for him - Ethan’s favorite song.

Even though you would try to take the lead at first when riding him, Ethan would quickly take charge by grabbing your waist in his big hands and force you on his cock at a rapid pace. Or even blocking your body from getting away from his thrusts as his hips fuck back into you while he pants against your opened mouth. Ethan is getting totally lost in you as it seems that your boyfriend would never get enough of you, especially in this damn sexy bunny suit.

Ethan would also grab onto your fluffy bunny tail while he ravishes you, as he fidgets with the round tail as his hips stutter when he’s already so close to cumming inside of you. Only to find out at this exact moment that your bunny tail isn’t exactly part of the costume but that you’re actually wearing a butt plug, making Ethan’s breath catch in his throat at the realization. Deepening the kiss as he moans louder into your mouth, Ethan takes advantage of that fact as he toys with the butt plug even more now, stimulating you in the most pleasurable way. Your hips now fail to meet his thrusts as your legs shakes under you, the only thing keeping you upright just enough being Ethan’s hands on your hips. You feel your climax soon approaching with the way Ethan kisses you, fucks the bunny plug into your butt and thrusts his hard cock into your little trembling pussy. Ethan’s murmuring voice against your jaw is the last thing you needed to reach your orgasm alongside your boyfriend that couldn’t hold it anymore.

« My sweet little bunny. », four simple words and it’s still enough from Ethan to make you whimper in the crook of his neck while he cums deep inside you, his cum oozing out of you and soiling the lower parts of your cute costume as it adds to the mess you both had already made on his lap.

You both stay silent for a few minutes to catch your breaths as your head rests against his shoulder and his against your breasts, slowly removing his softening member out of you as his cum starts dripping down your thighs over your pretty stockings. But Ethan isn’t quite happy about that, as his fingers slide into your warm cunt to fuck his cum back into you, making loud squelching sounds echoes in the room. Ethan’s eyes are focused in a daze on your poor messy cunt, his chest heaving as you whimper in the crook of his neck.

After he’s done with you, letting your body rest comfortably against his warm one, your bunny ears would be slightly off balance as they dangle to one side when you raise your head to look up at him. Ethan chuckles at that as his hands come to put your ears back in the right position, gently combing through your hair in the process.

Ethan would then look at you like you hold all the answers to his questions, you’re perfect in his eyes and he isn’t even sure to fully deserve you.

« Maybe I should have rough weeks all the time if I can have my angel dressed in a pretty bunny every time I come home. », Ethan grins at you pleased.

Maybe he’ll be the one to dress up for you next time, Ethan thinks, how will you feel about his Ghostface costume, he ponders with a smirk.

💗 Ethan Landry Masterlist 💗

[hwnglx]

enhypen on cam vs. off cam

based on tarot. i do not know these idols personally. energies are always changing. what i say is NOT straight fact. pls take it with a grain of salt!

heeseung

on cam

nerves of steel. stable, patient, mild-tempered, agreeable. self-sacrificing, especially when it comes to the team. willing to give in and surrender for the group's sake. holds back and restrains himself a lot. grounded and down to earth. gives the team this significant and essential foundation of focus and practicality. he seems well-rounded artistically too, like the member who has the basic skills down to a tee.

off cam

not easy to satisfy. immensely high standards, good luck trying to have him be happy and content with.. anything, basically. i keep seeing him nagging and possibly micromanaging about minor things. also, can have his immature ways once he's in a negative headspace. more outspoken. will tell you things the way they are. more sensitive than what meets the eye. heeseung seems like the type to let out his inner negativity on others at times, which as a result he can blame himself for; this can cause even more dissatisfaction -> vicious loop here.. might have problems confronting and connecting to his emotions directly, chooses to run away from a lot of them. struggles expressing his feelings in a manner which accurately reflects his inner state of mind. goes back and forth between criticising and feeling sorry or guilty all the time. like he's in a constant inner turmoil.

jay

on cam

personable, easy to get along with. seems like the member who's best at creating parasocial relationships with the public. he's good at making you feel like you're connected, as if you're his friend. a lot of pride and smugness. knows what he can do for the team and isn't afraid to allow his confidence to shine. very much content in his element. can therefore bring a sense of positivity and optimism to situations. also, quite mature and reliable. good head on his shoulders. great business man. loves having people think he's “husband” material. like a grown guy with a strong sense of responsibility.

off cam

fancier. more out there and less restrained. likes showing off, and everything fancy and glamorous. is he the member who dresses up the most in terms of airport fashion? it's kinda giving that to me. seems proud of his fame and status. likes the feeling when people recognize him. more self-focused. cares about things like actively keeping up his popularity, making sure he's well-liked off camera as well. reputation is insanely important to this man. taurus energy is literally dripping from him. i could imagine him looking up his name a lot on social media. extremely ambitious. can get quite obsessive and lean on the gluttonous side at times. very “my way”. might go back and forth a lot, between trying his best to be charitable and accommodating with people around him, while also strongly holding on to his own values, principles and opinions. does not budge easily, you'll rarely catch jay being a pushover. stubborn as a rock once he's convinced about his opinion. more traditionally minded, holds beliefs that lean towards the more conservative side.

jake

on cam

youthful and bright, a childlike nature. sensitive to his surroundings with a dreamy quality to him, he can often find himself in a haze with his head in the clouds, i also heard “delusional”. at the same time, he can be very observant. quick wit. boldly speaks up when he feels the need to, and expresses himself bluntly at times. still presents himself as someone who's generally patient and tolerant, there's a bit of a hot and cold factor here. he's someone who seems calm and collected at first, but allows himself to step out of that once he feels strongly about something. jake can almost be like a child at his most emotional, but quiet and balanced once he's in work-mode. very hardworking, a diligent person who's continuously striving to reach higher goals and willing to put in the necessary effort.

off cam

passionate. gets random sparks of energy and motivation. definitely a “p” in terms of mbti. he's the type to feel strongly about e.g. a random hobby he found and obsess over it, just to get over it after a few days. burns hot once his inner fire erupts, but calms down just as fast. pours a lot of himself into every endeavour he faces. also gives off quite an individualistic and independent vibe, he doesn't really enjoy depending on other people to get things done for him. prefers doing it himself. detaches himself from people a lot of the time to gain a sense of inner balance. easily affected by his surroundings, especially by people's different energies. therefore needs his private space and alone-time to recharge. can be surprisingly introverted. a lot of internalised anxiety he tries his best to release when on his own. not someone to allow his inner stress to stand in the way of his work though. quite perfectionistic and hard to please in regards to himself.

sunghoon

on cam

chill, laidback, comfortable. easy to be around. not very reactive; in control of his emotions, rarely allows things to enrage him. and if he does, it's usually done in a tactful manner. i'd be surprised to ever catch this man fully lose grip on his temper while cameras are rolling. very mature as well, he knows how to present himself in a manner which shows off his best sides only. a lot of quiet but strong confidence he radiates to the outside. he's self-assured, and knows where his charm lies. a lot of natural charisma. his energy is very.. “i know i don't need to do much for you to like me.” like he's aware of the strong effect his presence can have on people.

off cam

good understanding of business. very protective of his career and what he's been able to build for himself. cautious about keeping it in tact. can be quite self-focused in that regard. can be much more “me me me” than you'd think, does desire and enjoy the spotlight to a degree, though he isn't obnoxious about it. i heard “don't ruin my moment” he doesn't like people getting in the way of his plans, feeling entitled to command him around, etc. very much a free spirit who doesn't enjoy having to majorly concern himself with others. careful and guarded when it comes to his private matters; draws a clear line between his professional life and personal life. adamant with his boundaries, i suggest not to cross them. holds grudges and stores much of his negativity inside, rather than letting it out. doesn't come without his insecurities, but they're likely to be so buried down, that he might not be entirely aware of them himself. generous, giving and supportive in his nature though. will offer a helping hand if he feels like someone is in direct need of it.

sunoo

on cam

another member who's quite conscious of his image and what he chooses to display to the public. wants to present himself in the best way possible. like i can see him straightening his back and stroking his hair out his face once the cameras start rolling. can slip in and out of conversations or situations depending on if he cares enough lol. quite intentional about when he speaks up, and when he stays put. although he can have his stand-out moments, usually sunoo prefers just blending in and not pulling too much attention to himself. knows he needs to go with the flow of the people around him, and stays balanced, as well as peaceful when cameras are on.

off cam

the type to work harder when people aren't looking. very much invested in continuously developing his skills and talents and improving his abilities. the type to plan out certain longterm goals for himself in his head without telling anyone, since he doesn't see the need to. for sure more focused on himself.. all i sense is him thinking about his own life. doesn't really concern himself with the group as much, has his eyes on his own path. this can also lead to him dealing with a lot of his negative emotions by himself though. someone who's more used to to withdrawing, and therefore more comfortable isolating himself when struggling. i can't shake the feeling sunoo feels like enhypen isn't the place that enables him to shine as much as he could. like his potential just isn't being fully realized. might feel quite stunted artistically and creatively because he has to match himself to six other guys. there's some pent up frustration here, and i don't really see him having much of an outlet for it. i can also sense some fear regarding his actual ability to stand on his own though; so he can easily feel lost. he doesn't feel like a true part of the group, but can also lack the substantial belief in himself to take steps in the other direction.. very pisces mars of him; he thinks of the idea of doing certain things, but often doesn't decisively act on it.

jungwon

on cam

worthy to note, that all i could think about was the group. he's very much aware of the unique responsibility that comes with being the leader. wants be a person of compassion and empathy for the team; someone who gives them the feeling of comfort. a resting place they can seek in times of stress. not only does he want for the members to be able to talk to him about anything, he also wants to be a source of confidence and inspiration. for the team, and in general. jungwon can often feel the need to remain strong and powerful for the sake of his group. i got reminded of this one quote bada lee once said about her dance team “if i fall apart, you guys will too” jungwon might relate to that in a way. he feels like the main guy pulling the ship forward. at the same time, there's some light and fun energy too. he doesn't want to seem too serious and strict all the time, and also make sure the atmosphere is enjoyable and lively for everyone. a little bit like a cool dad, lol. which is cute since he's the second youngest.

off cam

more business-minded. someone who's always making sure the professionalism is on par, everyone is aware of their jobs and does them orderly. can definitely get sharp-tongued and harsher with his words, if he feels the need to. will give you the reality checks you might be afraid of but are in need of to grow. his intentions are pure; he's just clear in what he expects from people and might not be the best at expressing it in a way that's more digestible for softer hearts. i can sense some fear in him of things going south for the group, so he's very protective over the place they're at now. will definitely be the one stepping up to argue if anyone dares to badmouth them. similarly to jay, he's also a member who can be quite focused on keeping his reputation up. might have a bit of an ego that gets in the way of him being easier to get along with though. i do see his ego being on the side of more quickly damaged, which can result in him getting defensive quite fast. make no mistake, he feels very protective over the group, but it's also because in his eyes, the course enhypen takes is largely reflective of how well jungwon himself is doing as the leader.

ni-ki

on cam

relentlessly hard-working, constantly trying to improve and striving for the top. someone who's just in his element when in work-mode. laidback and reserved. observant and attentive. usually keeps more to himself unless he needs to work. i see him being immensely perceptive, and sensitive to energies around him, which is why he can often consciously choose to detach himself. i got reminded of the quote that says “observe but don't absorb” a member who seems more uncomfortable about all the attention and eyes on him. prone to getting overwhelmed easily. the lines for on and off cam were more blurred for him. i don't see him being good at putting on a mask for the public, as much as he just chooses to stay quiet. it's like, if he doesn't showcase too much of himself, people have less things to judge him for. plus less things that distract them from what's important; his artistry. very professional. wants to primarily be seen and recognized for his work and craft. i don't see him enjoying fanservice, aegyo and silly stuff like that.

off cam

more self-conscious than what meets the eye. not easily satisfied, sees himself as a continuous student of his craft. very protective of his possessions, and focused on himself. can often feel like his work is the only thing he really knows and is good at, so he can be overly fixated on it. the type to get married to his work, to be honest lol. similarly to sunghoon, he doesn't like anyone rubbing their nose into his business. (the two sags, not surprising) can often crave a sense of control and stability in his life, and doesn't want people from the outside meddling in it for that reason. if ni-ki made a plan for himself, best believe he will go through with it till the very end. still, quite fair-minded. i don't see him being extremely greedy persé, but moreso holding himself to higher standards from the very beginning. wouldn't want to steal away anyone's opportunity, but wants to already be established enough, that he'd be first the choice anyway, if that makes sense. can feel trapped in his mind once he gets to a place of overthinking, and subconsciously set himself limitations that don't have to be there.

[l-starsz]

hi, i just discovered your blog and you’re so good at writing!!

i have a request and you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to, it’s a little long. but, what if reader and billie are on a late night driver after one of billie’s concerts and reader starts getting turned on by the vibrations of the car, since porsche’s are actually closer to the ground and billie notices and starts teasing her about it. you can add whatever you want!

a/n: thank you so much!!🩷 i hope this is good, i got carried away writing this ngl😭

applause filled the arena as billie ran off the stage. she ran backstage towards me and jumped into my arms. once we pulled away from the hug, we sorted all of her stuff out and then headed to her car. it was a pretty long drive home, but we were close enough that we didn’t need to stay in a hotel.

we sat there in comfortable silence for a little bit as billie drove, her hand on my thigh. i’d turned some music on in the background so that we weren’t in complete silence. while we were sat there, i was just thinking as i stared out the window, and took notice of the car. more specifically, i took notice of the vibrations that ran through the car.

i tried to think about something else, i didn’t want to get turned on when we weren’t close to home yet. nothing worked though. no matter how hard i tried to distract myself, my mind kept circling back to what i could feel beneath me. i felt myself begin to get wet, resulting in me squirming in my seat and squeezing my legs together.

billie glanced over at me, but didn’t say anything just yet, assuming i was just making myself comfy. i was trying hard to not make it obvious to billie that i was getting turned on, but was clearly failing. she glanced over at me again when i shifted once more.

“you good baby? seems like you’re a bit fidgety over there.” she smirked, keeping her eyes on the road, but also looking back to me every so often.

“i- yeah i’m good bils.” i quietly answered.

“you sureeee? i don’t know you’ve been moving in your seat a lot, seems like you’ve got something on your mind. almost like you’re getting turned on?”

i shut my legs tighter, trying to push the feeling aside, but it was no good as i felt billies hand travel higher up my thigh. her nails lightly ran across my skin as i groaned. i closed my eyes and laid my head back against the seat.

“what is it that’s got you horny, love? can you use your words and tell me please?”

“your hand on my thigh..” i mumbled.

“oh really? that’s interesting baby. anything else, hm?”

she knew exactly what had turned me on, she just wanted me to say it because she knew i’d get shy. i groaned and covered my face with my hands. she was trying to tease me.

“cmon angel. you can tell me.”

“the.. the vibrations from the car.” i whispered, my hands still covering my face.

i heard her giggle, beginning to move her hand up and down my thigh once again, carefully moving to my inner thigh and closer to where i was throbbing. she couldn’t do anything though since she was driving. so i had to just sit and wait until we were home whilst she continued to tease me.

“you’re so needy for me, huh? we’ve still got a while until we’re home my love.”

i whined and shifted around yet again, trying to escape the feeling. it was no use. the whole way home, billie just continued to tease me. by the time we actually got back, i was soaked. i’d practically soaked through my underwear.

as soon as i stepped foot in the house, i pressed my lips against billies. i needed her so bad. her hands fell to my waist as i almost fell against her. she led me to our room, carefully laying me down on the bed whilst her lips stayed against mine in a desperate kiss.

i tugged at her clothes, attempting to get them off of her. she undressed me, and then undressed herself. she looked so perfect. i was only left in my underwear, whilst billie was completely naked. her hand traveled towards my clothed pussy, two fingers lightly resting against my clit.

i whined and lifted my hips, trying to get her to finally touch me. i was desperate. i heard her laugh at how impatient i was being as she quickly pulled my underwear off, then gently pushed my hips back down.

“please billie. i need you so bad.” i whispered, ready to beg for her to do anything as long as she was touching me.

“what do you need?”

“i need you to touch me. please.” i whined.

almost immediately after hearing the words leave my mouth, she pushed two of her fingers into me, making me cry out. i knew it wouldnt take me long to finish for her.

she was curling her fingers inside me as quick as she could and when i thought the pleasure couldn’t get any better, my stomach contracted as i felt her mouth on my clit. she sucked, licked, and carefully bit it, making my walls tighten around her fingers and the feeling began to rise in my stomach. like a knot that was getting tighter after each passing second.

her free hand slowly moved to press against my stomach, making me more sensitive to her touch. i squeezed my eyes shut as her movements somehow got quicker. i needed to cum. i didn’t know if i could even get my words out though. whenever i tired to tell her, my words got caught in my throat and instead came out as moans and whimpers.

“b- billie!! can i please cum for you? i’m so close.” i almost screamed.

“of course baby. cum for me.” when she spoke, her voice vibrated against me, making me moan even louder.

my cum dripped down her fingers and coated her chin whilst her movements began to slow. she didn’t stop yet, helping me ride out my orgasm. once i’d completely come undone, i slightly pushed her head away, becoming too sensitive. her fingers stayed inside me for a minute as she placed gentle kisses up my body until she reached my lips.

“i’m so proud of you my pretty girl.”

a small smile came to my face as i answered her.

“i love you billie. so much.”

“and i love you so much.” she answered, “can i get you cleaned up now? it’s getting late and i can tell how tired you are now.” she giggled.

i nodded, closing my eyes and covering my face with my hands as she slowly and carefully pulled her fingers out. i immediately clenched around nothing, the slight sensitivity still there.

“okay angel, do you wanna have a bath? or are you too tired?” she asked. i moved my hands to rest on her waist as i sat up, feeling her move my hair from my face.

“i’m tired but can we have a bath anyway, please?” i whispered, leaning up for a kiss.

“of course.” she placed a gentle kiss against my lips, then lifted me into her arms and took me to the bathroom, sitting me down on the counter.

as she began to fill the bath up, and add bubbles of course, she came back to speak to me.

“you did so good for me, love. made me so proud.” she spoke in a soft tone, holding onto my waist.

“you made me feel so good. thank you.” i answered, burying my face in her neck and placing gentle kisses.

we stayed like that for a minute or so before i couldn’t help but feel slightly guilty. i didn’t touch her, i just let her help me.

“billie.” i mumbled against her skin.

“what’s up?” she asked, running her fingers through my hair.

“i didn’t touch you at all. can i-“

“baby, don’t worry about that, okay? you’re tired and it’s late, we can have a bath, get into bed, and then sleep if you want?” she smiled.

“but i want to return the favour..” i frowned.

“you can tomorrow, yeah? we’re both tired. let’s get some sleep and we can continue this tomorrow, alright?”

i nodded in defeat, kissing her neck again before she moved away to check the bath. i heard the taps turn off, then i was lifted into her arms and lowered into the bath. not long passed before she got in behind me, pulling me to rest against her chest.

we stayed in there for a bit, talking and helping each other clean up. she even helped me wash my hair (and of course i washed hers for her too). soon enough, we were getting out and both wrapped in towels as we giggled about how silly we looked.

we changed and immediately got into bed, cuddled up in each others arms. safe to say i was fast asleep within ten minutes.

[absurdthirst]

New Year, New Murder {Dave York x F!Reader}

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 12.5k

Warnings: Arguing, lusting after a married man, murder daddy, assassinations, undercover role-play, crossing a line, infidelity (?), oral sex (female receiving), vaginal sex, unprotected sex, different positions, disgust, self loathing, abandonment, drugging, shooting, Dave being a charming bastard, lovemaking

Comments: Wanting to go into the field as an operative, you keep getting held back by your boss, Dave York. Handsome, married, he's everything you want and you hate yourself for it. Until you convince him to let you work a target with him on New Year's Eve and everything changes.

🎉🎉Happy New Year! I know it's late, but we were recovering 😂

Co-written with @storiesofthefandomlovers

**Follow @absurdthirst-writes and turn on notifications to stay up to date on all new fics.

|| MasterList || Dave York MasterList ||

Click Keep Reading only if you have read the Rating and Warnings and understand the warnings may not be complete to avoid listing spoilers. As AO3 says 'creator chooses not to use warnings'. You also agree that you're the right age to be consuming anything here.

“I have the schematics for the building, and it looks like the best exit point is at the north end corner, through the kitchens.” You know that you can count on Dave York to ask a million other questions and try to poke holes in the information that you are giving him, but this is rock solid. You don’t even turn back towards the four men that are sitting around the conference room. You know that they are watching closely. Every piece of intel that you can give can mean the difference between life and death. They know that you want them to come out on the other side of the op, hell, you want to be in the op. “The best possible plan you could have would involve five.” You point out. “Your four man team and a fifth.” Now you turn around. “A woman.” You add. “It’s New Year’s Eve. I would be the perfect cover for Dave.” Your eyes slide over to meet his dark eyes. You shouldn’t be attracted to him, he’s married and worse, he’s turned down every request for you to move to the field.You should hate him, but you find your stomach twisting with that familiar pull that can only be described as pure lust. 

Dave hums at your idea, his stomach twisting at the idea of you out there in the field. He doesn’t want to put his best techie at risk. You are the one in his ear on ops, the reassuring presence that lets him go home every time. You’re smart…and beautiful. Too beautiful. He watches you stand there, the screen behind you displaying the floor plan of the hotel. “I don’t think I need a woman. I will be just fine on my own.” He insists, tapping his fingers on the conference table.

“Of course.” You want to say something sarcastic but you just shoot him a tight smile and turn back towards the presentation. You had known he would turn you down, but you had a try.

You go over the details of the op, showing him the best exits in the building and how to blend in, discussing some of the attendees. Dave nods and takes mental notes, his eyes drifting along your form when you turn your back to him. When you're done, he dismisses the team and stands up, watching you as you shut down the screen. "You have a problem, sweetheart?" He asks, noticing how tense you are.

“Yeah, I do.” You spit out, before you shut your mouth again. It doesn’t make a difference, the team leader is stubborn. “Well?” He chuckles when you don’t say anything else as you pack up your computer with obviously irritated, jerky movements. “What is it?” The mere question pisses you off and you whirl around, eyes flashing angrily. “You know as well as I do that this plan would be better with a woman going in with you.” You hiss. “But for some damn reason, you think I couldn’t handle a little field work.”

Dave scoffs, watching you act like a teenager. “It would work better but then I’d have to focus on not only getting in and out without being noticed, killing the target, and not worrying about you. It’s impossible. You’d bring attention to us and I’d be worrying the whole night about your safety. I feel responsible for you.” He explains coolly even though his stomach twists at the idea of anything happening to you.

You snort and shake your head. “I’ve completed all the training.” You remind Dave. “I would be fine. And I’m not some overly sexy supermodel that would turn heads. But four men by themselves at this party would be unusual, having a woman in the mix would help.” You shake your head and turn back to packing up your equipment. “Nevermind. Be safe, have a good mission and see you next year.”

Dave frowns, not wanting you to be angry at him before the op. “You can come.” He announces before you leave the room. He knows this is what leads to you doing stuff behind his back. Talking to other agencies or teams to be out in the field and he’d rather have you with him so he can protect you.

You freeze, astonished that he had agreed to let you go. Turning and staring at him for a second. “What?” You demand and he rolls his eyes. “You can come on the op.” He repeats. “Dress nice.” He sighs. “It is New Year’s Eve after all.”

You nod, excited to prove yourself, and Dave sees your eyes light up. Fuck, that makes his stomach twist with desire. You’re too fucking beautiful. “I’ll pick you up at nine.” He says and you nod, eager to head home and start getting ready. Dave sighs when you practically skip out of the room. “Fuck.” He murmurs and rubs his cheek, unsure of how he’s going to keep you safe tonight. 

****

Dave knows he can’t just honk the horn for you to get in his car so he parks on your driveway and walks to the front door, ringing the doorbell before he adjusts his cufflinks while he waits for you.

Checking the mirror one last time to make sure that the knife you had strapped to your upper thigh isn’t visible, you try to ignore how much effort you had put into your appearance. Dave is a married man, you shouldn’t want him. He has a wife and two beautiful little girls, so the primping and the lipstick and push up bra you are wearing that match the lace panties under your dress are purely for yourself. That's the lie you tell yourself, anyway. Satisfied, you open the door to find Dave looking positively wicked in a black tuxedo that makes your cunt clench and your body tighten in need. “Hi.” You murmur breathlessly. “Let me get my bag.” You tell him, trying not to imagine this as a real New Year’s Eve date. 

Dave’s eyes drift down to your ass, a soft groan escaping his lips as he admires the dress you’re wearing. You look fucking gorgeous and he knows he can’t touch you. Not because he’s married. He’s divorced. Carol is the one who wanted it. Said she couldn’t handle him going off for days without contact with no explanation and he couldn’t explain it so she said they’re over. He was sad, mainly to lose the girls full time, but he sees them every weekend. He didn’t tell anyone at work, wanting the cover of marriage to get out of BS after work drinks and boring shit he doesn’t want to be involved in. You come back with your purse and he steps aside, letting you lock up your place before he escorts you to his car.

You try not to shiver when he puts his hand on your lower back. Bare skin because of the strategic cutout that you think looks amazing. His hand is warm and you can feel the calluses. It will be something you think about tonight when you are in bed alone with your vibrator between your thighs. “Carol isn’t too disappointed you have to work, is she?” You ask, mainly to remind yourself this man is taken so you don’t spin around and throw yourself at him.

Dave shakes his head before he opens the door, “she’s busy tonight and the girls have a babysitter.” He knows Carol has been seeing some guy at her gym. He’s already vetted him and doesn’t give a fuck that she’s already fucking someone else. He just doesn’t want the asshole around his kids if he’s dangerous. Either agency or civilian. Dave opens the door and you frown at his answer as you slide into the passenger seat. He shuts the door and rounds the car, getting into the driver's side.

“The guys are already there?” It seems now like they are going with your original plan that you had lined out. The team is already in place and you and Dave will arrive separate.

Dave pulls up at the hotel, reluctant to use the valet but he has no choice. There's no self parking and that would make him stick out even more. The valet takes his key and Dave tucks the card into his pocket before he rounds the car to help you out, offering you his hand.

“They are already in place.” Dave taps the comm he has in his ear that he turned off when he picked you up. 

You slide your hand into his, looking up at him with an adoring gaze since the extra valets are watching. It’s not an act, but you can finally not hide how you feel about him, even if he will just think you are one hell of an actress.

Dave hates how you look at him. Like he’s hung the moon and the stars. He’s not an idiot. He knows you have a crush on him and that’s what makes this so difficult. He doesn’t want to hurt you and he doesn’t want to see you get hurt. Yet he knows he’d destroy you. He escorts you into the hotel, following the signs to the ballroom where the event is being held and he squeezes your hand when you enter, “you want a drink, sweetheart?” He asks, knowing he will have a Coke but you can have a glass of champagne.

“I’ll stick with seltzer water.” You murmur softly. “It isn’t professional to get drunk on an op.” You know that sometimes you have to drink but a club soda will look like a drink in your hand. That will do.

Dave nods, impressed by your dedication. Most would’ve failed by now and already been grabbing a glass of champagne. He guides you over to the bar, his hand shifting to your back, and he gestures for the bartender to come over. “Coke and a Club soda.” He orders and the bartender walks off. “So…you see our person?” He asks, leaning in closer.

Instead of scanning the room like a novice would, you glance in the large mirror that is above the bar and gives an excellent view of the large ballroom. “Two o’clock.” You murmur softly, leaning in and looking like you are whispering something loving in his ear. “Grey suit with a maroon shirt and black tie.”

Dave glances in the mirror to the target, his hand rubbing your back as he leans closer and murmurs, "good eye, sweetheart. It's early. We need to wait until he has had a few more drinks before we strike. We need people to be drunk to believe that he fell off a balcony." He whispers, his lips brushing your ear.

You can’t help the soft sound you make, but you don’t think he hears it. It’s loud in the ballroom. The bartender slides your drinks in front of you and you take your club soda with a flirtatious smile. “Thank you.” You hum before you press closer to Dave. “Shall we mingle?” You coo.

Dave nods, his hand caressing your bare skin on your back as he throws some cash down for the drinks and he escorts you into the crowd. You are a natural and he hates how easy it is for you to excel at being in the field. He desperately wants to keep you safe but he’s being selfish wanting that.

Making sure to keep your expression almost bored, you glance around the ballroom. Taking note of the exits and the security that is placed around the room. “Oh darling, look.” You seem excited as you point towards the dance floor. “Cameras are pointed away from the balcony.” You murmur softly. “Dancing.” You say louder. “We should dance.”

Dave knows he should keep you at arms distance…literally…but he’s finding it hard to keep away from you. He takes your hand, escorting you to the dance floor where several other couples are and he pulls you close as the band plays a slow song.

You hum softly to the music as Dave pulls you close. The scent of his spicy cologne filling your senses and making you swoon slightly at the way he holds you. It’s possessive, even though it’s just for show. “A new year, new beginnings.” You murmur softly.

Dave allows himself a moment to pull you close. Your perfume hits his senses and he hisses under his teeth at the flowery scent. "Everything okay?" You ask and he nods, offering you a soft smile, "yeah. All good." He promises, rubbing your back and he squeezes your hand, spinning you around.

You laugh softly, not expecting the move but loving how he guides you around the dance floor. For a moment, he smiles and you can pretend he wants to dance with you and it’s not just a cover. A fairytale moment that has your heart pounding and you smile as you come back into his arms. “Mr. Stephens.” You use the fake name he had gotten the invitation under. “You are too smooth, sir.” You flirt. “Keep that up and you will find a girl breathless over here.”

He wishes his real name had fallen from your lips but you are doing a good job of keeping cover. He feels like he could fail at any moment when he has you looking into his eyes like that. “That’s my plan.” He flirts back, “keep you breathless all night long until you let me keep you.” He says, his words true but his tone is playful and flirty…an act that he is finding too comfortable.

You swallow slightly, hoping he doesn’t notice but you’re sure he will. Dave doesn’t miss anything. “Keeping me would never be the problem.” You try to keep your own tone light and flirty, but it comes out seductive.

Fuck, he wants to keep you. He really does. He murmurs your name, pulling you closer to conceal it, and your sigh puffs against his neck. It’s clear that he could take you as his own but he’s not selfish enough to do that. “Can you see him?” He asks, voice rough with some unknown emotion.

“Yes.” Your own voice sounds wrecked, like you are barely holding onto your sanity but your eyes swing over to the target. “He’s alone.” You murmur. “Drunk.”

“Good.” Dave murmurs, “we will leave him for another ten minutes and then the plan can go into action.” He taps his ear, acting like he’s scratching. “Ten minutes.” He says to the team before he mutes himself again and the song comes to an end. “Let’s make some small talk, make our way over to him.”

“Of course.” You let him lead you off the dance floor, his arm around your waist as you head towards a group of people. At these functions, no one knows everyone, not even the host, so it’s not unusual to introduce yourself.

Dave guides you over to a group, wanting people to see him and know him by a different name. “Great party, right?” One of the guys asks and Dave hums, a smile on his face, “perfect way to see in the new year. Doesn’t hurt that I get to see my girl all dressed up.” He winks at you and squeezes your waist.

You fluster prettily and slap his chest with one hand. “He flatters me.” You hum. “It’s nice, even though he knows he’s guaranteed to ring in the New Year with sex.”

Dave chuckles and leans in to softly kiss your hair, “I gotta treat her good. Kiss her real good when the clock strikes midnight.” He winks and the group chuckle, “you’re a lucky bastard.” One man chuckles. “So…how do you know Peter?” A woman asks, naturally nosey if Dave’s instincts are correct, inquiring about how you know the host of the party.

You have done extensive background checks on Peter Malwick, the person responsible for the party. You smile and turn towards Dave, curling into his side. “Our daughter, Mila, attends St. John’s with Stacy.” You play with the lapel of Dave’s jacket. “Sometimes the men go golfing together while we do the monthly charity bake sales.”

Dave caresses your back, a smirk on his face, “I got a birdie last time we went out and then I got to come home and sample one of my wife’s cupcakes. She’s a dream baker.” He leans in to nuzzle his nose against your cheek and the women in the group coo while the men appraise you. Dave has played this game many times but never with a partner and he finds it’s easier to play the crowd with someone else.

You hum, eyes slipping closed like this is a game you and Dave constantly play. It’s easy to act like you are in love with him. “That was a good day.” You giggle, like you are talking about more than golf or cupcakes. The woman who had asked about the two of you seems positively convinced and you turn your head to drop a kiss right at the edge of Dave’s mouth. “How about you?” You ask. “How do you know Pete?”

The woman goes to speak but her husband cuts her off with a look and he says “oh we are in the same business. He’s a close associate of mine.” He says vaguely and Dave hums, “he’s a very successful man.” The husband nods and pulls his wife close, squeezing her arm in warning.

You notice the move but you don’t say anything, smiling at the couple like nothing is amiss. “Sweetheart, I think I need another drink.” You shake your empty glass for effect. “Shall we go get another?” You look over at the woman with a shrug. “Vodka sodas are the drinks that have the least calories here.” You tell her.

She giggles and winks, “perfect.” Dave escorts you back to the bar and he orders you another club soda. “The stage is set. Just gotta wait for the right moment.” He murmurs, rubbing your back as he watches in the mirror.

“Yes, we do.” You murmur softly, looking over at him in complete adoration and lean into his touch. “It will come soon enough.” Your eyes watch as your target stumbles, spilling his drink. “Very soon.”

Dave hums, leaning closer to nudge his nose against your ear. “We will be here until midnight until we are able to take him out. We need to get him outside on the balcony when everyone is distracted.”

“Ringing in the new year.” You hum, smirking slightly. “Sounds like something I’m going to think about later.” You will go back to your house and spend the rest of the evening thinking about Dave inside you. How you wish you had spent New Year’s.

Dave hums, taking a sip of his drink after it’s set down on the bar. He leans closer to you, his free hand on your lower back as he watches your expression in the mirror. You look a little flustered and he wonders if it’s the op or his proximity. Deciding to test you, he leans closer to run his nose along your neck, breathing in the scent of your perfume.

Your cover slips, or perhaps you just lean into it. After all, you are supposed to be posing as his wife. Your breath hitches slightly and you want to turn your head to kiss him. You want to so badly your lips tingle, but you remind yourself that this is just an act. A farce to sell the fact that you are supposed to be here. “Dave.” You murmur breathlessly. 

He knows what you want right now and he can’t give it to you. If he kisses you, he won’t want to stop and he can’t put you in danger. He leans closer, his lips almost brushing your jaw and he presses a soft kiss to your cheek. “It’s almost midnight.” He murmurs, breath washing over your cheek, “and then we will get our target.”

You snap back to your senses and rock back an inch away from him. “Roger.” You murmur, swallowing harshly and turning your head back towards the mirror to keep an eye on the target while your stomach twists in disappointment. Ashamed of yourself for being upset that Dave kissed your cheek instead of your lips. You have to get away from him. The interview you had last week replays in your mind and you rethink your plan. Right now you just need to accomplish this mission.

Dave hums as he takes another sip of his drink, the clock ticking down and soon the band is announcing the countdown is coming up. “We will countdown, make sure everyone sees us and then we will follow him outside. The guys have already made sure he’s outside, smoking a cigar, so we can do this quickly.” He murmurs again.

“You’re the boss.” You remind him and yourself as you straighten up and reach for the drink that has been refreshed. You wish it did have vodka in it right now as you take a sip, but you know that drinking could jeopardize the mission as well as your sanity. The last thing you need is to beg Dave to fuck you in the bathroom or something. There is a room that has been rented under your alias names to complete the cover as a couple enjoying the New Year’s party, but you have no intention of actually using it. 

Dave can feel how tense you are but right now, he has your safety in mind, and that means he’s solely focused on the op. When the countdown is about to start, he takes your hand and guides you towards the balcony, stopping on the edge of the dance floor as the countdown starts. To anyone watching, you’re a couple cheering in the new year, and so that’s what Dave plays. “Three…two…one!” The cheers are loud but Dave surges forward to press his lips to yours, his hand cupping your cheek.

He’s kissing you. You melt into the kiss for a moment. Giving in to the need swirling in your stomach and you wrap your arms around his neck and pull him close. Letting him in when his tongue slides against your lips to demand entrance. Giving him every part of you while the confetti and streamers fall all around you and everyone starts to sing ’Auld Lang Syne’. 

He knows he shouldn’t kiss you like this but he indulges himself this one time. He pulls you close, pecking your lips as he tears himself away from you, knowing that he needs to complete this op. He takes your hand while everyone is cheering, escorting you to the balcony. Anyone watching would think he wants more than a kiss right now with the way his eyes darken but he’s shifting his focus as he opens the balcony door for you.

You try to control your breathing, snapping back into your operational mindset. The mission is the most important thing and you see the target leaning against the railing, a ring of smoke blowing up into the air from the cigar in his hand. There’s only a few moments to be had before revelers will spill out on the balcony and you need to take advantage of it. You feel Dave’s hand squeeze yours and you give him a small squeeze back. You’re ready. 

The target has already been drugged by Resnik who slipped by the target when he got his drink. He should be disoriented and that’s exactly what you find when you and Dave step out into the balcony. No one else is out there so Dave grabs you, dragging you closer to press his lips to yours as he walks backwards towards the target.

You know what Dave is doing, your eyes open and you’re surprised that he is letting you guide him towards the target. “Shit!” The target drops his cigar over the edge and bends down far over the edge for some reason even though it is falling down to the ground five stories below you. “Now.” You murmur against his lips, the perfect opportunity being created for you. 

He wastes no time spinning around and he slams into the target making him cry out as he goes head first over the balcony railing and a few moments later you hear the bang of his body hitting the concrete. Dave pulls away from you, shifting to look over the edge and he sees the twisted body of the target, blood starting to pour from his body.

“We should move.” You murmur, knowing that the team needs to disperse. None of you need to be around when the body is discovered. Resnik lifts his brows at you, surprised by the kiss the two of you shared but you don’t say anything else and he disappears into the shadows of the balcony.

Dave knows Resnik will handle the rest of the op so Dave takes your hand, “let’s go to the room. We need to have more witnesses that see us go to the room. To sell the story.” He murmurs, unsure if he really thinks it’s needed. If he was alone, he’d be gone already but right now, the kisses have muddled his mind and he needs a moment to reconvene…the room will give him that.

You don’t question him, but you giggle as soon as you enter the ballroom, starting to put on a show for anyone who might be looking. “Take me to bed, baby.” You coo, curling around him and sliding your hand up his chest. “I want to spend the rest of the night with you inside me.” 

Dave wants to indulge in those words, take you to bed and show you how good it can be, but he knows he can’t do that. He’d be risking you, making you his in a way that he’d never be able to forget, and he can’t cross the line but right now, he has to act like he is. “Come on baby. Wanna get you naked to celebrate the new year,”

Anyone who watches you would just see a couple eager to get back to their hotel room. Your steps swiftly carry you away from the ballroom and you are on the elevator before the first screams are heard when someone spots the broken body of the man  you had been contracted to kill. On the elevator, you know the cameras inside will be recording you, so you pull Dave close and wrap your arm around his neck to drag his lips down to yours for a kiss. Continuing your cover as the eager partygoers. 

Dave groans, pushing you up against the wall of the car without care. He knows this is for show and when you are in the room, he will ensure you are okay and he will wait until the appropriate time to sneak out with you. Resnik has orders to cut cameras on his order so you can sneak out. For now though, he slides his tongue into your mouth and grips your waist.

You let yourself get lost in the kiss, knowing that this will be the last time, the only time you get to have him like that. You grind against his hard body and feel him respond. Thrilled that even if he can’t have you, he wants you. Even if it is just physically. You tell yourself it’s for the camera but it’s a lie as you slide your hand down between you and squeeze his cock through his tuxedo trousers.

Dave hisses at your touch, knowing he shouldn’t allow you to do this but it feeds the dirty thoughts he has had about you all night. He’s imagined taking you somewhere, making you moan his name. His hand slides down to squeeze your ass, giving you a taste of your own medicine, and he chuckles when you whimper against his mouth as the doors open. “Come on.” He demands, voice raspy with desire as he takes your hand to drag you down the hall.

You feel like you are on fire, but you know that you can’t take it farther. When you get to the room, you will both revert back to your normal professional relationship, the acting will be over. Dave holds onto your hand even as he pulls out the key card and opens the door. He pushes you inside and you hear the door click behind you as you try to catch your breath.

Dave hears your panting and he snaps. He can't help himself. He spins around and grabs you, pushing you up against the door of the hotel room. His nose presses against yours, his eyes open as he stares at you, "tell me to stop." He demands, needing you to order him to stop when all he wants is to strip you down and do what he's imagined more times than he cares to admit.

Your gasp is breathless and eyes wide when he presses you against the door. His own eyes are dark and you can see the lust swimming in their depth, making your core burn and you can’t deny him. “Don’t stop.” You whisper, wanting him despite knowing that it’s wrong. You just want one night with him, then you will somehow figure out how to live with the shame. 

The permission makes him groan, his lips pressing urgently against yours again. His hands desperate as they grab you, already working on finding the zipper of your dress. It’s wrong. He shouldn’t do this. Shouldn’t touch you. Yet he can’t stop. His heart pounds, all composure thrown aside and he pulls the zipper down.

As soon as his hands start to strip you, your own become frantic. Pushing the tailored jacket of his tux over his broad shoulders and starting tugging on his bowtie. Impressed and frustrated by the fact that it’s real and not just a clip on. You want him naked, you need to feel his skin under your hands. Nearly ripping the buttons of his dress shirt. Your comms is pulled out of your ear and tossed aside, you don’t want the team to hear you. “Dave.” You moan when he finally pulls away to peel his shirt and jacket off while your dress falls to the floor. Leaving you standing in your heels, bra and panties with the knife strapped to your thigh. 

Dave trails his eyes along your form, loving how gorgeous you look in the matching set and he knows you well enough to know that you picked that out with him in mind. He smirks, licking his lips and taking in your figure. You fluster and he chuckles, toeing off his shoes to leave them by the door. “Go lay down on the bed, sweetheart.” He orders, “keep the heels on.” He says as he works on his pants.

You shiver slightly, obeying him and forgetting everything but how much you want this man. You watch as you lay back on the bed, propped up on your elbows as he strips out of his pants and leaves himself in his boxer briefs. You lick your lips and shake your head. “All of it.” You demand, wanting to see him. 

He nods, watching you as he pushes his boxers down. His cock is hard, leaking pre-cum as it bounces when he kicks his pants away. You moan and he smirks, reaching down to squeeze his cock. “You want this.” He states, knowing he doesn’t have a doubt of that. “Tell me what you’ve thought about with your fingers inside that pretty pussy.” He orders, pumping himself.

Your eyes are greedy as they roam over his body, drinking in the sight of him. He’s so sexy, even more so with his cock in his hand as he strokes himself. You can feel your pussy dripping with need and you clench around nothing. “You.” You admit shamelessly. “Fuck me. Over the desk in your office. In the gym showers. Sucking your cock when you come in from an op.” 

Dave chuckles, knowing that your thoughts have been filthy and hearing them spoken into the air has him twitching in his hand. “Take your panties off. And the bra. Wanna see all of you. Keep the heels on.” He demands again, his dark eyes trailing along your form.

You sit up to reach behind you so that you unclip your bra. Tossing it aside after sliding the straps down your arms. You lay back down and lift your hips, shoving the lace down and using the heel of your left shoe to hook the panties on and fling them off. You aren’t shy, spreading your legs for him to get a perfect view of your wet cunt. 

Dave groans, eying your bare cunt. It's obvious you wax and he fucking loves that. He steps closer, looming over you, and he moves so fast your gasp echoes when he surges forward to bury his face in your cunt.

You are completely surprised by the face that Dave is eating you out, you hadn’t expected it. You had expected him to want you to suck his cock. His tongue burns a path through your folds as you tangle your fingers through his short hair and you grind your hips down against his face. “Dave.” You moan, eyes closed as you shudder. 

Your moan has him squeezing his cock in his fist as he tastes the tang of your arousal. Fuck, you taste sweet and sour. He loves it. He groans into your flesh, lapping at it as you moan his name again.

He’s not trying to rush you towards an orgasm, or just get you wet enough to fuck. He’s tearing you apart with his tongue. Each stroke is designed to make your stomach clench and your toes curl as he licks into your aching core. You are already so turned on that every flick of his tongue makes your body jolt, so close to coming apart. “Fuck - I- I’m so close.” You pant out. 

Dave can’t believe how worked up you are and he loves it. He groans into your flesh, sucking your clit between his lips, and he desperately wants to hear you fall apart. He wants to taste you. He doubles down, sucking harder on your clit to push you over the edge.

Your thighs shake and with one more suck on your clit, you are screaming out his name for everyone on your floor to hear. Core twisting and flooding in pleasure, cunt gushing as you buck up against his mouth. 

Dave groans, lapping at your cum to work you through it. Your thighs squeezing his head and he loves it. He laps at you until you push his head away. He smirks, his chin shiny with your slick, and he squeezes his cock as he shifts to kneel on the foot of the bed.

“Fuck me.” You beg softly, needing to feel him inside you. You spread your legs enticingly and all of the reasons that you should push him away are forgotten with the dark look in his eyes. He wants you just as badly as you want him. “Dave, fuck me.” 

He can’t deny you when you beg so sweetly. He hisses and shifts to kneel between your thighs, gripping his cock. He pushes into you, walls fluttering to adjust to him and he loves the way your jaw drops. “You’re gonna take every fucking inch and every fucking drop I give you.” He demands, jaw clenched as he looms over you.

You mewl in pleasure as he notches the thick head of his cock at your entrance and starts to push into you. Mouth dropping open as he stretches you out, your hands slide up to his arms, nails digging into his biceps from how good it feels. It’s perfect, he’s perfect inside you, filling up all the emptiness and giving you so much pleasure from the slow and steady roll of his hips. 

He hisses at how your cunt grips him like a vice. It makes his eyes squeeze shut until he opens them, remembering that he wants to watch you take him. He groans your name as he starts to move faster, your tits bouncing with each rock of his hips. “Take it.” He demands, his hands gripping your hips.

You do take it, all you can do is take it. Moaning, you hold onto his shoulders and start to lift your hips up when he thrusts down into you. Wanting this to be more than just a passive experience. You want to move with him. To give back to him. Your walls clench around him when he twitches inside you and you smirk when he groans your name. 

He knows he should’ve stayed away from you but right now, all he can do is fuck you hard and fast. The sounds in the room are your moans and the slap of skin as he fucks into your tight cunt.

It’s everything you expected, everything you wanted from fucking Dave. It’s harsh and passionate, wonderfully rough. You kiss along his jaw and drag your nails down his back, down to grip his ass to feel as he pumps into you. “More.” you beg, “I want more.” 

He leans down to press his lips to yours, his tongue immediately sliding into your mouth. His fingers bruising until they slide up to squeeze your breast. “Feel so good, baby. Always knew you would.”

You moan, thrilled that he had thought about this. That he had imagined fucking you. It’s wrong on so many levels, but you can’t care when he’s hammering into you like he’s going to fuck you to death.

Dave loves how you take everything he gives. Your moans vibrate against his lips and he adjusts his hips, wanting to make you fall apart for him. He needs to feel your walls clamp down on him.

His hips snap forward again and again, the coarse hair surrounding his cock rubbing your clit and the next thrust pushes you over the edge. Your legs tighten and your back bows up, head pushing back into the plush pillow as you cry out. “Dave!”

His eyes roll into the back of his head when you clamp down onto his cock, soaking him, and your cry of his name echoes in the room. “Fuck.” He growls, working you through it. When you stop shaking beneath him, he pulls out of you and you whine. He wastes no time flipping you over, smacking your ass, “hands and knees, baby.”

Your face is pressed to the sheets but you don’t care. Gathering your knees under you to present your pussy and ass to Dave behind you. You want to feel him again and you whine. “Fuck me.” You beg breathlessly, hating how empty you feel.

Dave chuckles, caressing your ass, and he smacks it as you arch your back. He wastes no time squeezing his wet cock, positioning himself at your entrance, and he pushes into you. “Fuck, you’re so tight.” He growls when he sinks into you again.

You moan in pleasure, unable to articulate how good he feels. He feels incredible inside you. His cock scrubs against your walls and pushes against something incredible inside you from this angle.

Dave caresses your spine until he smacks your ass with his palm. He starts to move inside you, “fuck baby. You feel so good. Is this what you thought about? Imagined when you rubbed that little clit?”

“Yes.” You gasp out, the sound almost garbled as you moan right afterwards. He’s thick and heavy inside you, pushing just right to make your thighs shake up under you.

Sweat beads on his forehead as he fucks you harder, desperate to hear your cries of pleasure, and he chuckles when you whine, tits swaying with each thrust. “Fuck. Need you to cum again for me.” Dave demands, knowing you’ll be torn apart by him and that’s what he wants.

You don’t know how you’re supposed to cum when you’ve already had one orgasm. Usually you don’t have more than one, but he is determined. Grunting and panting behind you as he rocks into you. Making you whimper and whine as your body starts to tense up again.

Dave grunts, pushing into you harder and faster when he feels your walls fluttering. You’re close. He can feel it. “That’s it baby. That’s it.” He growls when you clamp down on his cock like he wanted. “Such a good fucking girl.” He hisses and pushes into you. He’s so fucking close. His eyes roll into the back of his head when he thrusts a half dozen more times and falls apart with a growl of your name, painting your walls with his cum.

The heat floods your core and you moan. Loving every throbbing pulse as he fills you up. It’s perfect and you close your eyes, panting softly. Boneless and limp from the pleasure

You collapse forward into the crumbled sheets and Dave smirks at how wrecked you look. You look like you need the night to recover and he chuckles, playfully smacking your ass before he leans down to kiss your shoulder as he slowly pulls out of you. “Fucking perfect.” He grunts as he shifts to flop down beside you.

Your head is pleasantly buzzing and you feel drunk even though you didn’t consume one drop of alcohol. “Happy New Year.” You murmur softly. “I could sleep for a week now.” You hum, giggling slightly. “Think they would let me keep the room?”

Dave chuckles, shifting to fold his arms behind his head, “maybe.” He is pleased that you are satisfied. He certainly is. “We will clean up and then we will get out of here.”

“Go home.” It’s like a bucket of cold water has been splashed on you. Dave is married. You had purposefully ignored that, or tried to, while he was buried deep since you, but now you can’t hide from it. “You better stop and pick your girls and wife up something nice since you’re away tonight.” You sit up and start to climb off the bed, standing on shaky legs.

Dave watches you stand up and he frowns. It’s on the tip of his tongue to tell you the truth but he can’t. He sits up, his stomach swirling with guilt and he shifts off the bed, reaching for his pants. He cannot put you in danger by keeping you and you wouldn’t want him. This was a one time thing. “Yeah.” He murmurs, “something nice.”

You make your way to the bathroom, needing to wash away your sin, but you can’t, it’s buried under your skin. Guilt nearly makes you retch, unable to look at yourself in the mirror as you start the shower.

Dave redresses, keeping his bow tie untied around his neck, and he shrugs on his jacket. He sits on the edge of the crumbled bed, wringing his hands together. He wants you to be his but his life…it’s too dangerous. He can’t allow you to come into this life.

You shower, scrubbing yourself from head to toe and the water is scalding hot. You won’t cry, you can’t - not right now. Not when he has given you exactly what you wanted. You just have to live with the guilt if it now. Getting out, you wrap a towel around your body, your face washed clean of all makeup.

Dave knows he should stay. He just fucked you. He wants to stay but he can’t. He leaves a note, hand steady as he tells you to spend the night. He will act like you’ve had an argument. After setting the note on the pillow, he grabs his comm and leaves the room with a soft click of the door that you won’t hear. He hopes you will quit and go find a safer job. A husband. A family. Live a normal life. He can never have that.

It takes you a few minutes to compose yourself, knowing that Dave has sharp eyes and an even sharper instinct. He will know if you have any kind of hesitation that something is wrong. When you open the door, you find that the entire point is moot, the room is empty. Your heart twists when you see the note on the bed and you don’t even reach for it. You know what it says. It says that this was a mistake. You swallow harshly and move over to your clutch, your encrypted phone inside. You pull it out and dial a number. Ringing once, it clicks - answered but not one greets you. “I accept.” You say calmly, sure now that you are making the right decision.

**** 

*One year later* 

“So any new year plans?” Dave is asked by the new techie and he sighs, “only a job. Good night to take out a target.” He smirks and the tech chuckles, “damn right. Too many distractions.” He says and Dave nods, his mind taken back to last year when he went on an op with you. His chest tightens and he sighs, “I’ll be ready. Just give me the details.” He says and stands up, leaving the conference room as his mind wanders. He has to focus. 

**** 

The party is in full swing when he arrives, dressed in a jacket and tie, this party isn’t as formal as last year and he knows his target will be trying to win over the donors. He’s a politician. One that fucked off the wrong people and now he needs to be involved in an accident on New Year’s Eve. Dave glances around the room, people laughing and dancing, and it’s eerily reminiscent of the night he spent with you. He hadn’t heard from you after he received your resignation in his email and he wanted to track you down but it was like you’d disappeared. He was worried but he figured you didn’t want to be found. You know how to do it and he respected that, knowing he was in no position to convince you to come back to the team. Right now, he wonders where you are. Do you have a boyfriend? A partner? Are you safe? happy? He hopes you are.

Watching the room, you sip your soda water, eyes roaming over the crowd. Your target is laughing in the middle of a group of people, the congressman fawning over the wealth and power of those grimacing slightly as he continues to run his mouth. You smirk slightly, rolling your eyes at the pretentious ass until you catch the sight of a ghost from your past. Freezing as he moves through the crowd, not spotting you, but he’s also not looking for you either. Dave. He must have been contacted for the politician too but you’ll be damned if you’ll let him take him down.

Dave snakes his way through the crowd, making his way toward the congressman and he remembers how much easier this was last year with you by his side. He has to make small talk when he’s alone. His drink is nearly empty and he smiles at people as he walks past them towards the group fawning over the congressman. He turns his head towards the bar, wondering if he should get another drink and wait for the crowd around the politician to disperse. That’s when he sees you standing there. He murmurs your name, his brow furrowing and he quickly makes his way to the bar.

You see Dave start heading towards the bar, towards you. Sighing softly, you know that he will probably approach you. Wanting to know what you are doing here. “Standby.” You murmur into your comms and click it off so your team can’t hear you, although you know they all have eyes on you. You are the lead after all.

Dave approaches you, gesturing for the bartender, and he doesn’t let the shock show on his face. He’s trained for this. For personal entanglements. “Never imagined I’d see you here. You got a boyfriend who works for Congress or something?” He asks softly, raising his eyebrows.

“Or something.” You arch a brow at him, picking up your soda and shake the ice in it. “What are you having, Dave?” You ask. “I should say I’m surprised to see you here, but I know the guest list and I’m not.”

He turns to the bartender who appears and he clears his throat, “Coke.” He orders and he glances down at your glass when the bartender walks off. “You- what the hell are you doing here?” He asks, confused and frankly pissed that you seem to be putting yourself in a dangerous situation. The congressman is involved with the fucking mafia.

Your eyes flicker over to him before you glance back at the mirror above the bar. It always plays into your favor when venues copy each other on design. “Same thing I assume you are doing here, Dave.” You hum, glancing back at him for a brief moment. “So don’t get in my or my team’s way.”

His frown deepens and he shakes his head, “you’re here in a fucking - you aren’t here for tech?” He asks and you smirk, turning to look at him. “I outgrew tech and another company saw my potential.” Your smirk pisses him off when combined with the fact that you are putting yourself at risk doing this job. “No. No. You aren’t - this is my target.” He growls into your ear.

You sense more than see your team start to move in. Reaching up and tapping your comms. “Stand down.” You murmur quietly. “He’s not going to hurt me.” Dave glances in the mirror, seeing three different men in suits stop from various positions around the room. You tap off the comms again and twist to look at your former boss and one time lover. “Seems like they wanted to make sure the poor congressman got exactly what he deserves.”

Dave clenches his jaw, pulling back from you and he watches the men retreat. “I can’t fucking believe this. I tried to protect you and you’ve gone into the lion’s den.” He hisses and shakes his head, “you don’t know what you’ve gotten yourself into.”

“I’ve been running ops for nearly a year, Dave.” You snort. “I think I’m well aware of the dangers of this life.” You see the bartender bringing his Coke over. “Well, this was fun, but let’s not do it again.” You hum as you push off the bar to turn and sashay towards the group of people the congressman was talking to. If you put an extra sway in your step, it was purely coincidental.

Dave watches you go, his dark eyes flicking down to your ass and the memory of slapping it when he was inside you hits him. He swallows a large gulp of Coke and his comm hisses. “holy shit. Was that - goddamn she’s an operator.” Resnik’s voice crackles in his ear and he growls, reaching up to turn off the comm. Leaning against the bar, he watches you flirt with the target and he grinds his teeth, watching in annoyance.

You are aware of the other team now that you know Dave is here. Their formation is typical of their team and you watch them as you laugh at the wildly unfunny joke the congressman makes, offering him a toothy smile and no one notices that the compartment of your ring opens to dump the poison in his drink when you grab his forearm and lean into him to give him a great view of your tits.

Dave notices the move. Shaking his head when he realizes the target has been taken out by you in a move that only a woman could accomplish. Dave huffs and strides over, making his move as he walks past the congressman and bumps his shoulder. “Shit!” The politician yelps as his drink falls to the floor, spilling on his shoes, and Dave smirks over his shoulder as he walks away.

“Asshole!” You call out, furious that Dave has ruined your chance. You have to back away from the target or it will be too suspicious. “Damn.” You hiss, wiping away an imaginary stain. “I better go try to get this out.” You don’t say anything else before you are turning and rushing off towards the bathroom.

Dave feels smug as you rush towards the bathroom and he follows you, stepping into the ladies room when it’s empty for everyone except you. He locks the door behind him and steps closer as you reapply your lipstick. “Poison. I thought you’d be more dramatic.”

“No need when he has an underlying heart condition.” You glance back at him for a moment before looking back at your reflection to meticulously coat your lips. “Less risk when they believe he has a heart attack. The poison doesn’t show up on a toxicology report.”

Dave hums, “true but it’s a little safe. I figured you’d be the kind of assassin that wants a little flair. You are sensible but this is your time to show off. Poison…it’s a little boring.” He shrugs one shoulder, his eyes dipping down to your lips. “I’ve missed you.” He confesses softly.

“You missed me so much you left after fucking me?” You ask, pressing your lips together and turning towards him. You had tried not to let his goading get to you, knowing his vanity and reputation was important to him, but you prefer to fly under the radar and have a solid record of kills.

Dave clicks his tongue, tilting his head, “I had to. I couldn’t - well, it’s a moot fucking point now, but I tried to stay away from you to keep you out of danger. I didn’t want you involved in this way. You could get hurt…or killed. I didn’t want to be the reason you got killed.” He confesses, “so I left before I got in too deep.”

You snort softly. “Whatever, it was for the best, considering that you are married.” You arch a brow. “Carol isn’t going to be pissed that you are ignoring her two New Year’s in a row?”

Dave chuckles, realizing why you are so angry at him. He leans closer and gently brushes his fingers over your shoulder. “I’m divorced. Have been for 2 years.” He reveals with a smirk when he looks at you in the mirror.

Your eyes widen slightly before you school your expression. “Liar.” You hiss, turning away from him. Brushing past him to open the door and Dave grabs your arm, making you yank away from him. Pissed off that he would mock you about this. 

He holds his hands up, “shoot me right here if you think I’m lying but you know me. I didn’t fuck you as a married man. I wouldn’t do that. I might kill for a living but I have some morals.” He says and you scoff, shaking your head. “I still think about that night.” He confesses softly, “a lot.”

Frowning, you watch him closely. He is a liar but you know that he’s not lying about this. His eyes are warm and honest, revealing. “I do too.” You admit. “I felt so fucking guilty because I wanted to do it again. That’s why I resigned.”

“I left you in that room because I was trying to protect you. I’m not a good man. I’ve done bad things and I- I didn’t want to hurt you. I’m divorced. I see my girls every week but Carol has already moved on. I haven’t moved on…from you. I don’t think I ever will.” He admits, “but I’ll walk away right now. You can have the target. I’ll leave and you won’t see me again…if you tell me that you don’t feel the same. That you don’t love me like I love you.”

“You should have trusted me to make my own decision.” You huff. “I know what you do, what I do.” You shake your head. “That shit didn’t matter to me. Just like being showy with my kills doesn’t matter.” You pause and bite your lip. “I’m blown with the target. And I can’t say I don’t love you.”

Dave swallows, his expression neutral but you know by his eyes that he’s surprised. He steps closer, his hands coming up to touch your upper arms. “I love you. I want you. I don’t want to spend every damn day wondering where you are. I want you to come back to the team. Be my partner.”

“You don’t mean that.” You murmur softly and he huffs. “You know I do.” He argues. “Come back to me.” He asks again, stroking your skin. “I want you beside me.” You sway slightly, inhaling his cologne and you hate how he still affects you, even if you love it. “We still have to accomplish the mission.” You point out.

“We can take care of the congressman. You flirt with him, make him sneak off away from security and take him to a private space. We will handle him when he’s alone. Can you do that?” He asks, eyebrows raised as he looks at you.

You scoff. “Dressed Iike this?” You reply, gesturing to your slinky dress. “I could get the man to follow me anywhere.”

Dave chuckles, trailing down your form, “you aren’t wrong there.” He winks and leans in to kiss your cheek, “it’s good to see you again, sweetheart.” He murmurs and pulls back, walking back towards the door to unlock it. “I’ll watch for your signal.” He says and slips out of the bathroom.

You take another moment, unsure of what to do but you trust Dave. He would never put your life in jeopardy. You adjust your tits in your dress and walk out of the bathroom with an air of confidence as you walk towards the congressman.

Dave makes his way through the crowd, his eyes watching you as you approach the congressman. You’re sexy, a small smirk on your lips as your hips sway and Dave swipes his thumb over his lower lip while he leans against the bar he approached.

Walking up the congressman, you practically purr as you wind your arm around his neck. “Miss me?” You pout playfully. “I had to go and make sure I was still pretty enough to get your attention.”

The congressman chuckles, wrapping his arm around your waist to pull you close. “I’m sure you could wear a trash bag and I’d like to see you.” The congressman flirts and you giggle, caressing his shoulder. Jealousy hits Dave but he pauses and reminds himself that you are on an op

“Yeah?” You continue to flirt and some of the group takes the opportunity to escape. Leaving just a few around the two of you. “What do you say that we find someplace quiet?” You hum, reaching up and tracing his lips. “Ring in the New Year in style.”

The congressman smirks, gesturing to his guards to leave you and him alone. The guards hesitate but nod and the congressman takes your hand, guiding you towards the private room in the back. Dave sees this and taps his fingers on the bar, slowly making his way through the crowd.

​​You pretend to be curious about the room. “Did you know this was here?” You ask, pulling away and admiring the sconces on the wall. Giving the teams time to draw in closer. “This is….private.” Turning towards him, you smirk suggestively and crook your finger. “Come here.”

The congressman smirks as he pulls you closer just as Dave opens the door. “Hey man, this is a private room.” The congressman argues and Dave reaches into his jacket. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know-” He cuts himself off as he pulls the gun from his hidden holster and aims it at the congressman in the head, his silencer on.

“What the fu-“ he doesn’t get a chance to finish the comment as you quickly pull away, making him startle and Dave pulls the trigger. The congressman’s head jerks back and his body holds itself up for a split second before he is crumpling back to the floor, dead. “Goddamnit.” You mutter, knowing you have to burn the dress now, just in case there is blood splatter. “I liked this fucking dress.”

Dave chuckles, shrugging one shoulder as he works on holstering his gun. “You look better out of it. There’s a door back here that leads to the outside.” He says and takes your hand, stepping over the dead congressman to take your hand and he guides you to the secret door he saw on the plans.

You tap your comms and give the command for your team to disappear from the party and to head to the safe house. You will give them instructions later on, after you talk with Dave. “Where are we going?”

Dave guides you to the outside and smirks when you ask him, “gonna take you back to mine. It’s not the new year yet.” He reminds you, “we can have a drink and have our own countdown.”

“You gonna disappear this time?” You ask. Still annoyed that he hasn’t told you he had been divorced. You had felt horrible, disgusting, for a long time after that night.

Dave shakes his head, “no. Absolutely not. You’re staying in my bed.” He promises and you smirk, squeezing his hand. He knows he owes you more explanation and he definitely owes you an orgasm.

There is a car that is parked on a little alley next to the building and you know it’s Dave’s. He guides you to the passenger side and opens the door for you. Waiting until you are seated to close the door and round the front of the car to climb in beside you.

He pulls his comm out, tossing it into the tray holder after he opens the door and helps you into the car before he gets into the driver's side. He looks at you as he starts the engine, “should’ve taken you home before.”

“Like you haven’t taken anyone else home since you slept with me.” You wouldn’t blame him if he did. He was single and free to do whatever he wanted, with whomever.

Dave shakes his head, “I haven’t. I - I have been busy trying to prepare to leave the DIA and I - I had to track you down before I left. I have people after me. I’ve made enemies and I don’t want to put you in danger.”

“Yes you have.” You won’t deny it, anyone that is in this business makes enemies. “But it’s better to have someone watching your back too, isn’t it?” You ask. “Dave- I’m a great operative.”

Dave nods, “you are. I shouldn’t have held you back.” He confesses, “I should’ve helped you and let you grow but I was selfish.” He confesses as he drives to his home.

Your brow lifts in surprise at how he is owning up to his mistakes. “New Year, new Dave.” You hum, watching the streets pass by and you wonder where he lives now. Unless he kept the house in the divorce, but you doubt that.

He chuckles, adjusting his fingers on the steering wheel as he makes his way to his apartment. There’s cameras all over the complex but he knows how to manipulate them and how to avoid them. “Just telling the truth. Something new I’m trying.” He confesses with a chuckle.

You hum and look up at the stylish, neat building. “Are you sure you want to bring me here, York?” You ask, aware that he is placing a lot of trust in you.

Dave nods, pulling into his parking space, “I want you here.” He promises and you offer him a soft smile. He winks and cuts the engine, getting out of the driver side to come round to open your door. “You want a drink now that you’re off duty?” He asks, tilting his head as he holds out his hand.

“Sure.” You take his hand and climb out of the car. “I think we’ve earned one. Although, I’m going to need to get rid of this dress.”

“If you want, you can shower and borrow one of my shirts and some boxers….sweats too. Whatever you’re most comfortable in.” He promises and you smile, “thanks.” He makes sure to avoid the cameras as he guides you to his place on the top floor, key pulled from his pocket and soon enough, you’re standing in his living room.

It’s masculine, dark tones and leathers, but it’s clean. Dave is practical and you love that there is the hint of his cologne filling the apartment. “Very nice.” He said his girls visit on the weekends, so of course he wants a place for them. “Very you.”

Dave chuckles and walks over to the door down the hall, “shower is through there. What do you want to drink? Gin and tonic? Vodka soda? Whiskey?” He tilts his head, realizing he doesn’t know what you like to drink.

“Whatever you are going to drink.” You aren’t particular and you look over your shoulder as you start down the hall. “Bring it to me.” You order with a smirk and reach back to unzip your dress.

Dave smirks as you sway your hips when you walk down the hall. Your dress falling down to your ankles and you expertly step out of it, making Dave chuckle. You are a minx. Different from the mousy secretary that he met years ago. He prepares two drums of whiskey and he carries them down the hall to the bathroom where the shower is running.

It had been an invitation and you are glad that he decided to take you up on it. The water is hot and the bathroom surprisingly spacious for an apartment. You watch through the glass as he comes into the room and open the door to take the glass he offers before you tap the edge of your rim to his. “Cheers.” You hum before you pull your hand back to take a sip. You hum at the smooth burn as it slides down your throat and you meet Dave’s eyes through the glass of the shower stall. “Strip.” You order, wanting him to join you, but you want to see him first. 

Dave doesn’t argue. He sets his whiskey down and slowly unbuttons his shirt, stripping off while you stand under the water. “You want me?” He asks, wanting to be sure.

Your eyes run over the revealed skin and you feel your nipples tighten. “I do.” You admit shamelessly. He’s not married, he loves you, you are free to want him as much as you do. “I want you to fuck me right here in this shower.”

Dave eyes you as the water runs over your body. You’re just as fucking gorgeous and his cock is already half hard as he pushes his pants down along with his briefs, kicking them across the bathroom floor and he picks up his glass of whiskey. He has a sip and sets it back down, stepping towards you to slip into the shower.

Your own whiskey is set down in the empty soap dish, turning towards him when he steps into the stall so you can drag him towards you for a kiss. Wanting to feel that intoxicating, consuming sensation you have been craving since the last time he touched you like this.

Dave doesn’t deny you as he leans forward to press his lips to yours, his hands immediately finding your waist. His tongue pushes into your mouth, sampling the whiskey from your tongue, and he groans, cock pressing into your stomach while his hands slide lower to squeeze your ass.

Even though it has been a year, even though you’ve been upset at him and yourself, all of that melts away when he kisses you. Moaning into his mouth as he turns and presses you against the wall, you are already dripping wet and needing him inside you. Reaching down and wrapping your fingers around his cock to pump him.

He thrusts into your grip, unable to help himself and he devours your mouth. “Fuck, you’re so beautiful.” He groans against your lips, his hands coming up to squeeze your tits. “Gonna fuck you, make you mine again.” He promises and you squeeze his cock, making him groan your name.

You smirk against his lips and groan when he pinches your nipples, rolling them between his fingers. “Dave.” You pant breathlessly. “Fuck me. Now. I - I need you inside me.” He’s hot and throbbing in your hand, making you drip with need.

He can’t deny you anything when you beg him so sweetly. He releases your tits and grabs your thigh, lifting it and he shuffles closer. “Put me in. If you want it, take it.” He orders, leaning in to nip your jaw.

You don’t hesitate. Notching his cock at your entrance and wrapping your leg around his waist. Dave groans when he feels how wet you are and turns to press his lips to yours as he starts to push inside you.

He slides his tongue against yours as he pushes deeper, loving how you whimper and your fingers tangle in his hair. The water hits his back and you are pressed into the tiles as he stretches you out until he is fully inside you.

He feels so good inside you, so thick. Filling you up, and overwhelming your system with the way his cock scrubs up inside you. “Dave.” Your breathless cry of his name is muffled by the water, but he hears it. His lips twisting up into a smirk as he grinds deeper, twitching inside you as you clench around him. “Fuck.” Your arms wrap around his shoulders to hold on as he sets his feet to start moving inside you.

Dave growls, thrusting into you as you are pushed against the tiles. He loves it. He loves you. “Fuck, imagined this pussy so many goddamn times.” He confesses into your jaw, “thought about you so many times.”

You whine in agreement, knowing that despite your conflicted feelings, you had imagined that one night together so many times. You had thought about seeing Dave several times over this year, but you knew that if you did, you would sleep with him, and you hadn’t wanted to risk it. Now you are with him and there is no shame in it. “I love you.” You moan breathlessly, letting him press you against the cold tile wall.

He grunts, “love you too.” His words are washed away by the water, meant for only you and never the outside world. That’s too dangerous. He kisses you softly, rocking into you a little slower as he allows his emotions to show, allowing you to see his vulnerability.

It changes, it turns sensual. Emotional. His tongue slowly slides against yours and he groans into your mouth. Making you answer him in kind, your fingers tangling into his hair as you pull him closer. Giving everything you have to him and he reaches down to pull your other leg up on his hips, lifting you up against the wall as he kisses you.

He doesn’t fuck you hard. He’s slow and he kisses you deeply, passionately, wanting to show you how he feels. He murmurs your name when he pulls back to kiss your jaw, loving the way you clench around him. “That’s it, baby. Take all of me. Fuck. Your cunt is so perfect.” He murmurs, wanting to shower you with praise.

Your eyes slip closed and it’s like you are in a dream. The slow, sedate pace and the steam makes for a romantic air. Something different from the last time you had sex. “You’re perfect.” You counter, turning his head up and kissing along his throat as he rocks into you. “You fit me so well. Fill me up so good.”

“Not perfect. Far from it. But you are perfect to me. Beautiful. So fucking beautiful. Thought it from the first time you entered the office.” He promises, “and I- shit-” He hisses when your walls clench around his cock. “I wanted you from that moment.”

You know that he knew about your crush. “Me too.” You whisper in his ear. “Handsome, smart, rugged, I wanted you. I used to dream about working as a team with you, being lovers.”

“Dream came true baby. I am not letting you go. Gonna be mine. In every way.” He promises, “we plan, we kill, we fuck. We will be unstoppable.” He promises, starting to move a little faster. He wants to hear you fall apart for him, feel it, memorize it in case this is some crazy fever dream. “Fuck, I’m not letting you go now.”

You clench around him, making him growl out your name. Body strong and tightening underneath you as he ramps up the intensity of the thrusts. “No, you aren’t.” You agree, you won’t let him walk away this time. You kiss his lips again and grind down on his length. “Make me cum.” You order.

He doesn’t deny you. His fingers dig into your flesh as he fucks into you, pushing deep, and he grunts against your chin as he watches you. Your eyelashes flutter and he grinds into you, trying to find the spot that makes you fall apart around him.

It only takes him half a dozen thrusts to find it. Squealing in pleasure as your body lights up, his cock pressed deep against a spongy little spot deep in your pussy. “Right there?” He grunts, hissing the words through his teeth since you are so tight around him. “Right fucking there?” As if to prove it to himself, he rocks into that spot again and makes you moan. “Dave, fuck baby, more.”

He rocks into you, teeth gritted as he thrusts deep into the same spot over and over. “Fuck. I need you to cum for me.” He demands and your squeal makes his ears burn when you clamp down onto his cock, soaking him. “Fuck. You are - shit.” He curses, almost struggling to thrust into you with how tight you’re squeezing him. “Fuck, I love you.” He growls, thrusting to fuck you through it until he finds his own pleasure. He thrusts deep, burying himself as he starts to paint your walls with his cum.

“Oh god.” You whine at the feeling of his seed splashing against your womb, loving how full you feel. You hear the fireworks start to explode over the apartment complex and you smile, pressing your lips to his. “Happy New Year.”

Dave smiles against your lips, “happy new year. What a way to start the new year.” He chuckles and you grin, “with a bang.” Dave nudges his nose against yours and he knows he’s never going to let you go now. You are his. His partner in work and in life. “This is going to be the best year yet.” He promises and you hum, caressing his back as the water flows over you. A new year, a new start.

[mawlbone]

CRACKED CRADLES - NIKTO

SNIPPET: Nikto never imagined himself to be a family man since he was a child and especially after being disfigured from his time in the FSB. But here he is, settled and snuggled between cotton sheets and cradling an innocence in the grasp of bloody hands with a lover in tow. A pittance from above perhaps…

[CW: amab reader, afab nikto, mpreg, manipulative nikto, mention of trans pregnancy, self-depreciating thoughts, mental health and medication struggles, mentions of hallucinations, implied sex, and children.]

[COMMENT: I promise the warnings is not that bad, just the tiniest bit of hurt/comfort because Nikto is a troubled man, if anything it’s him living the domestic life here. Anyways enjoy the brainrot and know that opening yourself up to others is hard, but not impossible. But also screw me for making a whole exposition instead of going straight to the actual event, oh my gosh, this was suppose to be 500 words.]

Becoming roommates to partners was the last thing you could had expected on your long list of nonsense when you placed an advertisement online looking for a roommate to split your rent with. Even more ridiculous, agreeing to meet a stranger in the dead of night because he doesn’t want anyone else around to see him? Should that had rung some alarm bells inside that tiny brain of yours?

Thankfully you didn’t get stabbed, but instead impaled with the strangest marriage offer of your life that practically had your eyes springing out of your sockets.

The stranger’s reasoning? Whatever hotel accommodations the world could offer could never compare to the warmth of home cooked meals and security a home has, he says bluntly. Nothing more and nothing less. Honestly, you deadpan at the man for that, but with pennies in your savings and desperate to stay under a roof, there’s very little room for you to negotiate.

Sure, will most people consider what you had done fraud? Absolutely!

But the two of you aren’t exactly complaining with the benefits marriage can offer after the quickest trip to the courthouse you ever seen and ignoring the way the receptionist trying to nudge you and ask if you’re being coerced silently.

Work clothes and a masked man doesn’t exactly fit the image of the stereotypical wedding but it’s fine… Even if you have to mustered up a smile and lie between your teeth every time your coworkers gushingly ask you about when have you got the time to meet a man with how overworked you all are, something you can only fake laugh about to avoid their endless questioning.

You learned his name was Nikto.

It was a strange union per se, uncommon for most of society considering the circumstances but it wasn’t bad.

Simply it’s what had worked best between the both of you.

It was nice…

The security of it all.

No longer did you had to worry about choosing whether to keep your lights on or getting another meal on the table.

Sure, you can describe the start of your guys’ fake relationship as rocky with the both of you mutually agreeing to not interfere with each other lives as this act is only for the sake of appearances. But it’s hard to not feel guilty living off his money as he shoo you off saying what you can pay with that measly salary of yours.

Rude.

For the intimidation that Nikto can pose, a cute little cottage with a classic white picket fence was the furthest thing you could had expected saying that your apartment is too open, (whatever that means), just hidden within the depth of the woods and not too far from the city in case you need to run some errands or pick up last minute groceries.

Not exactly the image a cold blooded man Nikto describe himself as, entirely blunt about his occupation towards you as a contract soldier. You don’t mind, quite little to complain about when you can rejoice in finally having a room for yourself.

Both separate of course for privacy sake.

So the only thing you can do is small favors whenever he’s deployed, whether that be repairing his torn clothes because he doesn’t want to throw them away, picking him up from the airport during his breaks, or even getting his medication from the pharmacy for him using your marriage status. Occasionally even sending a care package or two once you start getting enough promotions to justify the shipping costs in sending him some snacks and comforts whenever you got the time.

He doesn’t talk a lot still even in person whenever he’s back home. You’ll wake up in the middle of the night to see him sitting amidst in the living room at some ungodly hour in the morning watching some late night television with a drink in hand. Or something scaring the shit out of you by staring at you from some dark corner of the room. You’re not sure what he thinks in those quiet moments.

Will most people consider this an another version of Cupid and Psyche if you reveal the fact that you never get to see your husband’s face to the outside world despite all these little favors?

Yeah, maybe so.

But honestly, who cares? You just had got a text that he’s coming home tomorrow, so that means you have to haul ass and start prepping a meal to congratulate him coming home again. Whatever you two had, whether it be bordering on roommates or partners, it’s still nice nevertheless to have something to occupy the home with all its silence when the radio becomes too tiring.

—

You’re awfully a lot like a mouse, Nikto thought when he first settle you in the cottage. Meek, overly curious, but still cautious enough to respect his space.

With the way you scuttle about the cottage playing homemaker, it’s too reminiscent of a furry rodent trying to hurry for the winter. Maybe that’s why you don’t alert his wariness, you’re too weak. Barely even human enough in his mind to register you as a threat.

What harm can you possibly do to him?

But time brings fondness and he too is unsure on what to do with you, his little mouse who somehow become very brave as of late and keep popping up in his life with homemade goods and repairing his stuff in your free time. The house is overly warm with the pops of the fireplace and grounded colors you insisted on painting the walls to ease your guys’ minds.

It’s easy with you around to know what he can perceive as his illusions when he’s too tired to take his medication because you don’t see it. It’s too peaceful with you around in your quiet little world. You aren’t freaking out about the spiders crawling on his skin that usually would had brought an unbearable itchiness in his bones if he stares long enough at them. You’re normal enough to freak about such a thing if they were on him and urge him to be careful around such a creature.

Simple as that.

Over the years, he had developed a little hobby to test you, merely bringing his hand to your throat whenever your back is turned against him and gently cradling it. Or taking your hand and placing it underneath his mask and letting you feel all the bumps and grooves on his face and watch how you react.

He doesn’t know why he does this, is he waiting for you to hurt him? To prove himself right once more that nobody can tolerate him and everyone goes away eventually?

He is unsure, so is the rest of him. Despite staring at your form and waiting for you to jolt away or twist your face in grimace at the texture of his fucked up face, you don’t. Humming away and even leaning into his touch had become the norm for you, no comment or any sense of fear about the looming danger he presents to you.

Wonderful.

Everyone conclude that you’re too complacent and feeble to hurt them. They all ignore the irritating warmth in their chest still.

Like with everything with time, things had changed over the years as well, your bedroom had become his as well after a bad night when you offered to come cuddle him, stroking his back and smoothing your hand over your scars and even kissing the ones underneath his chest. So a mattress becomes one made for two because as much as Nikto likes the excuse for you to be buried deeper within his touch, a small bed is bad for his back.

Perhaps you should had expected it. After all the change shouldn’t be surprising with how many items of his that you had already lingering about the room: from unfinished sewing projects with the numerous torn masks you have damaged from Nikto’s frustration when he felt it become too suffocating on his face, alongside the stacks of other various rags you have collected that he is too grumpy to throw away, arguing it’s still wearable even with all the holes and tears in them.

You pose no threat to him, he constantly assures himself. So why does every soft touch, every meal on the table, and every easy affection you had given him had been cumulative to him adding more and more traps around the house to keep you from the outside world. You don’t know such things are laid around the property or even about the hidden cameras littered inside the home when he’s on the field and about the true purpose of the barred windows he purchased not too long ago, excusing it as a defense against intruders and not as a means to keep you inside if worse comes to worse.

But what else to keep you here?

He’s getting old with age, his contract is ending soon, and he’s already considering retiring with the amount of money already tucked away in his accounts to live out the rest of his years lavishly if he so wishes. And you don’t depend on him much anymore with the hefty promotion you were able to get after switching your office job and working from home remotely now.

A baby, he thinks.

A baby will complete the home. Complete the typical family that everyone desperately wants to fit in. After all, there’s an extra room inside a cottage to fit a child in here.

It will incentivize you to stay. Those nagging feelings of responsibility and all those morals everyone learns about at a young age will guilt you enough to stick with him.

Surely his body is at least useful enough for this, it’ll just be a different sort of service from his body, no? You’re kind enough to pepper him with easy affection and soft touches, and sex with you previous times had been pleasant enough to know you won’t hurt him intentionally without meaning.

So you shouldn’t mind a more permanent solution to ease his worries, right? Everyone else is fine with it…

—

Anticipating a child was the last thing you could had expected on the long list of your husband’s strange motives. Should you had expected it with how destroyed your hips had become during the last few months before this announcement, maybe so.

But still, you weren’t exactly prepared for one, hell even sure if you two wanted one as he dropped the test in your hand with a blunt, “I’m pregnant” leaving his scarred lips.

It definitely had your head blanking out momentarily before coming back to the sight of Nikto playing with the hem of his shirt and avoiding eye contact with you when you remained silent and have to hurriedly assure him that you don’t mind and that yes, you would love the baby as well.

No time was wasted after your word and soon enough, the nursery is where Nikto’s former room used to be is painted white with little animals painted all over its walls and ceiling to entertain a young child’s imagination for days on end after much debate. Already the closet and shelves is stuffed full of clothes and diapers to prepare you for the long awaited road ahead.

Nikto always liked to keep all his precious things inside one room, he told you about it long ago of how he did it with his toys as a child, burying it within the piles of his clothes inside his closet, and with his weaponry at the base underneath his bed and now with you and himself all tucked up nearby inside the bedroom merely arms away from him.

Perhaps that’s why pregnancy was calm for him, nothing more than a few bumps and sores with you readily available to look after him to ease his mind. No morning sickness, no sudden dizzy spells, or an urge to hunch over in pain. If anything, you were amazed with how peaceful the child was, praising them and kissing the bump much to Nikto’s embarrassment who can only push your head away and scold you after you went exploring with the changes in his body a bit too far that one time.

A shame, but if there’s anything he appreciates your willingness to help him whenever.

Even if that meant locking yourself in the bedroom with a very unhappy pregnant husband practically clawing the walls saying he can feel a presence inside the home and huffing away at you when you revealed you hired a housekeeper to clean up the cottage during the last few months of his pregnancy.

“Why did you invite a stranger here…”, You’ll hear him grumble, the most frustrated you had seen previously after breathing a bit too loudly one night and waking him up.

You had to hold Nikto to your chest, which isn’t hard anymore with the giant bump he sported and call the poor lady saying you’ll pay extra if she was able to do it as quick as possible for you two. All while assuring Nikto afterwards that no, an old lady will not go expose all of them to danger because she’s a friend’s mother you know from work that you hired so the house chores can still be done while you’re occupied with him.

How troublesome, you sigh, peppering Nikto’s face with kisses as a means to calm him down and promising him a nice dinner and massage later if he comes back to the bed with you.

You had other little things set up to help alleviate your anxious ridden husband’s thoughts during the last few months of his third trimester. Finally feeling the cramps settling in and getting the urge to run away and have the baby by himself. He vehemently refuse to go to the hospital, saying that there will be too many people in the room touching him and doing operations inside and it’ll make him feel violently ill, but leaving out the part that he fears that they’ll take his baby away from him after seeing his mental conditions in his chart and deem him unsuitable to be a father.

Thankfully you didn’t question him further, but it didn’t stop you at least getting a midwife, a tiny grey-haired recently retired nurse, to monitor him. She was kind enough to explain the procedure to him, every little step and how to prepare him for the birth as she gets you two ready for your daughter’s arrival. You forever found it humorous that she’ll basically have to bully your husband into stop nesting and lay down because “is he trying to get the baby out early with all his moving”, you’ll see her scold as he rolls his eyes all annoyed.

But with the birth coming soon enough, settling Nikto on the bed and having you there to hold his hand, it was nothing short of smooth with three firm pushes and there she was, your daughter was born kicking into the world with a mighty wail as the midwife cleaned her bloodied self up before presenting her to Nikto to hold. Immediately her cries soothed as you watch Nikto stared almost wondrously at her as her hand grips his finger.

You think this is the first time you seen him truly this shocked, all in awe at his child yawning away and sleeping in his arms and smiling. You had to stop yourself from crying at her cute little face but if anything you managed to catch a glimpse of an appreciative look being thrown at the midwife from Nikto as she gently carried the baby back to dress up properly before settling her nearby him.

That doesn’t stop you from worrying over Nikto still when the midwife deemed you all ready enough for her to departure. Eventually after dealing with too many nights of your husband waddling away to the nursery to watch over your daughter, “you’re suppose to rest, please!” You finally decided to build another crib at the foot of your bed so Nikto can peer down at her whenever he wants when his paranoia keeps him up at night.

It’s terribly cute, you’ll wake up to her blabbering as Nikto plays with her on the bed, laid down between the both of you in the middle and surrounded by the warmth of your bodies’ as she squirms away from her father’s endless tickling on her tummy. Her and her little mouse onesie that Nikto bought for some reason that you put her in the night before was too damn adorable, practically having you pressing her cheeks with kisses before reaching over to smooch your husband to thank him as well for gifting you a wonderful gift.

You don’t know what goodwill you had done to gain such a wonderful family, but you won’t ever question it, this life that you thought you’ll never known before.

But you’ll laugh when Nikto pushes your face away saying to not do such indecency in front of the child before leaning forward to give you a peck as well.

—

For all the shame Nikto holds with the haunting of his past, there is nothing more rewarding whenever he holds his daughter in his arms as he rocks her to sleep. For all her tininess, she’s so warm and alive and the only thing Nikto knows that is inevitably real in his world because she grew inside of him. She’ll gaze up at him and wonder why her father’s tears drip down onto her body but she’ll never complain, only reaching up and holding her father’s face in her hands and hold him.

You never have the heart to intrude onto these intimate moments. But you hope he knows you’ll be there in every step of the way and help as much as he allows you to.

The cottage may had become a mousetrap designed for you, but perhaps he had willingly become trapped within your own as well.

[pope-bunny-chara]

okay at this point you are both saying the exact same things at each other in a cycle. You are both indicating you don't feel safe because the other indicated they don't feel safe around you. This is becoming overtly recursive due to the lack of specificity, and I think the public nature of the conversation (you, an identifiable visibly public figure speaking to and about a nameless identityless blob of individuals with a shared cultural category) is going to make it definitionally impossible to become something constructive, meaningful, or beneficial. I think you are a very smart and wonderful person, and I sincerely believe you should step away from this and spend time unpacking it with people you trust instead. 80% of this feels like the result of misapplied public rhetoric being misinterpreted and misconstrued by people scared of how that rhetoric could and has been used to hurt them in the past. During a time when general rhetoric about transness has become more violent and accusatory, I cannot justifiably blame anyone for being on edge. I don't believe you're necessarily wrong about anything you have specifically said on this subject, and I'm sure it's been helpful to many people in illuminating or giving words to a real issue present among trans communities. But I also genuinely believe it's making the issue worse, it's encouraging further distrust and accusatory rhetoric, it's encouraging trans women only speak to and trust people who are specifically like them. I am a trans woman, and every space I hang out in is dominantly other trans women, I don't think trans men and women feel safe interacting with each other in many online spaces as is. And, idk, personally that's just already sad and not ideal to me. It seems intuitive to me that the solution would be to build trust further, to try to listen to why people feel scared and uncomfortable and not accuse the other of being the problem wholly onto themselves. But i just keep seeing trans girls telling other trans girls that they're right to distrust this other group, that they should keep to themselves, that they don't have to listen or adjust or take into consideration how this other group might feel, cause they're right to feel that way. And perhaps they are, perhaps any one feeling is wholly justified, but where does this get us as a habitual community policy? as something espoused publicly as the correct mode of thinking? is that going make any part of this better? Cause at the moment I don't see how. Maybe I'm just naive idk.

Above all, I think it's just bad for you personally. I don't think you are in a place where you're capable of taking on the role of spokesperson here. I think it's drawing unwanted attention to you, driving you further in paranoia, and putting a target on your back when you need it least. I don't know you personally, I have mutual friends with you who seem worried about you, but I can't speak for you on this, maybe this Rules for your mental health, but it doesn't seem like it. And I don't think you're like, doing any of this on purpose. I don't think you mean to sound accusatory and aggressive to any trans masc person who might be sensitive but otherwise well meaning. I know you're trying and mean to draw attention and help work towards a solution to a real issue. I know their are extremely bad actors misrepresenting and using the worst interpretations of everything you've ever done and said to vilify and hurt you and I'm so sorry that's happening. But you also wield and phrase public rhetoric in a deeply reckless way that ends up communicating a lot of stuff you don't mean to. And I don't think it's your fault, I don't think it would even matter in most cases. But more and more it's becoming clear to me that, this is helping no one. or at the very least, it's hurting more people than it might be benefiting. It's hurting you, it's causing more paranoia and seeded distrust among scared trans women and men alike, it's widening a chasm I think we should be working to mend. I'm doing my best to express my thoughts here, and I'm scared it'll just be taken as more fuel to the fire, that I'm just accusing you further, and I don't want that. I think if nothing else, you'll probably find this message annoying or distasteful in some fashion I didn't intend it to. I'm sorry, I wish I had said all this more gracefully than I'm capable of, and maybe I'm just wrong. Or you'll just ignore it, idk. But this has just been, deeply upsetting to observe, I don't like how the usual response has just been to reaffirm in either direction that we should talk to eachother less. I hate it. I'm sorry. I hope you're okay, you deserve to be happy, you don't deserve any of how people have been treating you, I don't want this message to feel like it's just adding onto that.

hello. i have immense respect for you as a person, a dog, an artist, a fellow autistic plural system with lifelong trauma. i am afraid of you. i have felt disproportionately miserable-- i have come closer to crisis than i have in years-- due to that one ask you answered about transmascs, particularly its consequences. i am afraid of seeking community with the trans sisters who need it most. i would like to stop being afraid of you; i will likely never speak to you directly [1/2]

No one will feel safe around you if you act like this whenever someone feels unsafe around you, please stop.

[harunade]

quit smoking . park gunwook

pairing: stepbro!gunwook x smoker!fem!reader

synopsis: after your parents divorce, you turn to cigarettes for a stress relief. your sweet new brother notices this bad habit of yours and tries his best to help you take your mind off things.

warnings: SMUT!!!! Mdni ; smoking; oral sex (f receiving), some cussing, stepcest, not proofread lolol

a/n: this is my official comeback… i’m sad that ive abandoned this accoutn but its on my 2025 goal list to revive it and be back stronger than ever and better than ever with a bunch of motivation. Consider this my apology for going ghost mode :))

You were always told to never smoke or even be surrounded by smokers, that it would take away your beauty and shorten your entire life. Still, you found yourself with a pink Sobranie in your mouth more often than not, blowing smoke into the night. It was your guilty pleasure, but it also made your relax when needed most.

“Are you smoking again?” your bedroom door opened and you just turned your head from the opened window you were looking out of. You needn’t even look as you recognised the voice of Park Gunwook, your new brother in the past 3 months.

Your parents undergoing a divorce and your father remaring his mother all in the span of 4 months was definitely a harsh blow towards you. That’s why instead of crying it out, you started smoking it out. The dark haired boy noticed this bad habit of yours and took it upon himself to help you through this hard time. You found it amusing as he was one year older and acted as if there was a decade between the two of you

“I’m stressed, can you leave?” you didn’t know why you were so cold towards him. He was handsome and sweet with you, but still had a badass and sassy personality. Gunwook had a dominating aura which intimidated you, as he was easily breaking the walls you had built around yourself over the time.

Ignoring your words, he closed the door behind him and closed the gap between you, taking the cigarette between your lips with his index and middle finger. You were surprised to see him inhale and blow smoke out of his nose. He always presented himself as a put together teenage boy, but maybe he had his vices as well.

You raised an eyebrow at him in confusion. “You should quit this. If you’re stressed, come to me, girl” he finished the cigarette and threw the butt out of the window before closing it. He was now facing you, leaning against the window with his arm flexed, making his worked muscles visible through his black shirt. He made a thinking face before blunting out something you would have never expected from him. “You can take me in your mouth, too”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” You tried saying in a serious tone but you couldn’t hold a small laugh in, how could he say something so stupid so suddenly? And still look at you with his signature cute smile?

“Come, i’ll help you relax” he took you hand and guided you to your bed, pushing you down and sitting next to you. “Tell me when to stop”

You couldn’t say much, as the next second your lips were met with Gunwook’s plump ones. You could feel his force through his lips so you didn’t resist. Your lips melted against one another before his kisses went down to your neck and collarbone. His large hands went underneath your pyjama shirt that he effortlessly took off. Luckily for him, you didn’t have anything underneath, so he was just met with your bare breasts.

You were burning with anticipation, but the boy next to you was stunned. It then clicked that he was waiting for you approval. “Please” you were already struggling to breathe but he caught the message. His palms made contact with your nipples and he harshly grope you. You tried to remain silent as his kisses went down to your belly and eventually to your pyjama shorts. He took them off quickly and you remained in your stained panties.

“I wasn’t expecting you to be so excited already. I guess I should’ve done this earlier.” he laughed and pressed his fingers to your cunt which made you twitch. Feeling bold, you gripped his fluffy hair with your hands and shoved his face to your pussy, giving him any approval he might have been seeking.

Your panties were quickly pulled down and you felt Gunwook’s hot tongue on your lower lips. The sound of slurping and licking quickly filled the room accompanied by your muffled moans. He was eating you like a starved man, tongue swirling everywhere and occasional bites on your sensitive clit.

“You seem to be enjoying this” he pulled his head away as his fingers replaced his earlier actions. Two of his much larger fingers entered you, feeling your gummy walls. They dove deep inside you until he found your special spot that made you louder than anything previous. “G-Gunwook…” you looked down at him with glossy eyes. All you wanted was to escape all the accumulated stress, and he was helping you do just that. It would’ve been a shame not to be able to now.

“I can’t torture you now, but I will the next time. You deserve it now” new time? You could barely focus on his words as his tongue went back to sucking your clit while his fingers were thrusting in and out of you. Tears were rolling down your face as you were getting closer and closer to your finish line, your grip on his hair tightening.

Eventually you came around his fingers, and he did his duty to clean you up. Gunwook placed a few kisses on your inner thighs before raising his head and kissing your face. Your nose, forehead and both cheeks, followed by your pouty lips. When your lips connected again, you gave back the same energy.

“Thank you” you murmured as he got up from your bed. You couldn’t believe what had just happened. But, truth be told, you were feeling better now. “Don’t worry about it. Just tried to make you feel a little better, but at the same time me as well. This new marriage is harsh on me too.” You were surprised by his hones words, but even more by his next action of lighting up a cigarette. You didn’t even bother that the window wasn’t open.

“You shouldn’t do that, it’s unhealthy” you mocked him, earning a chuckle.

After getting dressed, you joined him, both taking one puff at a time. The smell was intoxicating to the both of you, and made you want him even more.

“I’ll be back tomorrow night, same time.” he winked at you before he left the room. Who thought your annoying step brother could actually be helpful?